#I finally felt a sense of belonging I’ve been looking for forever

[st4rtar0t]

Describing your love trope with your future spouse as a writer

Pick a picture

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Picture 1

Arranged blind date

I stared at my reflection, the dress clinging to my frame in a way that was both flattering and unfamiliar. It had been months since I’d worn anything other than sweatpants and old t-shirts. My heart pounded as I thought about the evening ahead. What had I let Emma talk me into?

“Trust me, y/n,” she had said, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “You deserve someone who treats you right. This guy is perfect for you.”

I wanted to believe her. After all, Emma knew me better than anyone. She had seen me through the worst of my relationship with Adam, watched as I shrank into myself, convinced I was unworthy of love and respect. She had been my rock when I finally walked away.

Now, she was determined to help me move on, even if it meant dragging me into the world of blind dates.

“You look stunning,” Emma said, stepping into my bedroom. Her smile was warm and reassuring. “And you’ll be fine. Just be yourself.”

I nodded, trying to steady my breathing. “What if he’s... I don’t know, another Adam?”

Emma shook her head firmly. “He’s not. Trust me. I’ve known him for years. He’s kind, funny, and he’s been through his own share of heartbreak. You two will understand each other.”

Taking a deep breath, I followed Emma out the door and into her car. As she drove, I gazed out the window, my mind a swirl of anxiety and hope. The city lights blurred past, a cacophony of life that felt distant and unreal.

We arrived at the restaurant, a cozy little place with warm lighting and the comforting aroma of home-cooked meals. Emma squeezed my hand. “He’s waiting at table five. Go on, I’ll be right here if you need me.”

I hesitated, then nodded. “Okay. Here goes nothing.”

As I approached table five, I saw him. He was looking down at his menu, but there was something about him that immediately put me at ease. He had an air of quiet confidence, and when he looked up and our eyes met, he smiled. It was a smile that reached his eyes, genuine and warm.

“y/n?” he asked, standing up and offering his hand.

I took it, surprised by how natural it felt. “Yes. And you must be Michael.”

He nodded, his grip gentle yet reassuring. “It’s really nice to meet you. Emma’s told me a lot about you.”

I laughed nervously, taking my seat. “All good things, I hope.”

“Only the best,” he said, his eyes twinkling with kindness. “She’s very fond of you.”

As we started talking, I found myself relaxing. Michael was easy to talk to, his sense of humor lightening the mood. He shared stories about his work as a graphic designer, his passion for painting, and his dog, Max, who sounded like a real character.

“So, Emma tells me you’re quite the photographer,” he said, his tone genuinely interested.

I blushed slightly. “I dabble. It’s just a hobby, really.”

“From what I hear, you’re pretty talented,” he replied. “Maybe you could show me some of your work sometime?”

I nodded, feeling a warmth spread through me that I hadn’t felt in a long time. “I’d like that.”

The evening passed in a blur of laughter and easy conversation. For the first time in what felt like forever, I was enjoying myself. Michael was attentive, respectful, and genuinely interested in what I had to say. It was a stark contrast to the indifference and criticism I had grown accustomed to with Adam.

As we said our goodbyes, Michael looked at me with a hopeful expression. “I had a great time tonight, y/n. Can we do this again sometime?”

I smiled, feeling a lightness in my heart. “I’d like that very much, Michael.”

As I walked back to Emma, who was waiting with a knowing smile, I realized something. Maybe, just maybe, I was ready to open my heart again. And maybe this time, I’d find the love and respect I truly deserved.

⁠—⁠☆

Emma hugged me as soon as I reached her. “See? Told you it would be fine.”

I hugged her back, gratitude welling up in my chest. “Thank you, Emma. For everything.”

She grinned. “That’s what friends are for.”

And for the first time in a long while, I felt hopeful about the future.

Picture 2

Friends to lovers

I stood outside y/n’s apartment, nervously shifting from one foot to the other. The city was quiet tonight, the streetlights casting a warm glow on the sidewalk. I had been here countless times, but tonight felt different. Tonight, everything was about to change.

Taking a deep breath, I knocked on the door. Almost immediately, I heard her footsteps approaching. The door swung open, and there she was, her smile lighting up the entire hallway.

“Hey! Come on in,” she said, stepping aside to let me pass.

I walked in, my heart pounding in my chest. “Hey, y/n. Thanks for having me over.”

We settled on her couch, the same spot where we’d shared countless conversations, laughter, and even tears over the years. She handed me a cup of tea, her eyes sparkling with the warmth I had come to cherish.

“So, what’s up?” she asked, taking a sip of her own tea. “You sounded a bit urgent on the phone.”

I looked at her, really looked at her, and realized just how much she meant to me. Her kindness, her strength, her infectious laugh—all the little things that made her who she was. It hit me like a tidal wave. I was in love with her. I always have been.

“y/n, there’s something I need to tell you,” I began, my voice trembling slightly.

She set her cup down, her expression turning serious. “What is it? You know you can tell me anything.”

I took a deep breath, gathering my courage. “y/n, you’ve been my best friend for as long as I can remember. You’ve been there for me through everything, and I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

She smiled, reaching out to squeeze my hand. “I am your best friend. I will always be there for you no matter what happens. Now tell me, what is bothering you?”

I swallowed hard, feeling the weight of the moment. “But that’s the thing. I don’t just see you as my best friend anymore. Somewhere along the way, my feelings changed. I’ve fallen in love with you.”

Her eyes widened, and for a moment, there was a silence that felt like an eternity. My heart was in my throat, fear and hope battling within me.

“oh…” she whispered, her voice barely audible.

I pressed on, needing her to understand. “I know this might come as a shock, and I don’t want to ruin what we have. But I had to tell you. I can’t keep pretending that what I feel for you is just friendship.”

Her eyes searched mine, and I saw tears forming. Panic surged through me. Had I made a terrible mistake?

But then she smiled, a radiant, beautiful smile that took my breath away. “I’ve been waiting for you to say that for so long.”

Relief washed over me like a flood. “You... you have?”

She nodded, tears spilling over her cheeks. “I’ve loved you for years. I was just too scared to tell you. I didn’t want to risk losing you.”

I reached out, brushing a tear from her cheek. “You’ll never lose me, y/n. You’re everything to me.”

She leaned into my touch, her eyes filled with love and vulnerability. “I love you.”

The words were like music to my ears. I pulled her into my arms, holding her tightly. “I love you too, y/n. More than you’ll ever know.”

We sat there, wrapped in each other’s embrace, the world outside fading away. All that mattered was this moment, the love we had finally confessed, and the promise of a future together.

As I held her, I realized something. Love had been right in front of me all along, in the form of my best friend. And now that I had found it, I was never letting go.

Picture 3

Opposites attract

I watched him from across the room, the way he moved with such effortless grace and confidence. The party was in full swing, laughter and chatter filling the air, but all I could focus on was Ethan. He was the epitome of extroversion, charming everyone around him with his easy smile and quick wit.

I, on the other hand, was more comfortable in the shadows, observing rather than participating. I preferred a good book to a loud party, a quiet evening at home to a night out on the town. Yet, here I was, drawn to someone who was my complete opposite in every way.

Ethan caught my eye and waved, making his way over to me. My heart skipped a beat, a mixture of excitement and nervousness swirling inside me.

“Hey, Y/N,” he said, his voice warm and inviting. “Why are you hiding over here all alone?”

I shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. “Just taking a break from all the excitement.”

He laughed, a rich, contagious sound. “You know, you’re the only person I know who comes to a party to take a break from it.”

I smiled, feeling a little more at ease. “Well, someone has to keep an eye on things from the sidelines.”

“Mind if I join you?” he asked, his eyes twinkling with that mischievous spark I was starting to adore.

“Sure,” I said, surprised by how much I wanted him to stay.

We sat down on the edge of the patio, the cool night air a welcome contrast to the warmth of the crowded house. For a moment, we just sat in comfortable silence, the sounds of the party fading into the background.

“You know, Y/N,” Ethan said, breaking the silence. “I’ve always admired how you can just... be. You don’t need all this noise and attention to feel happy.”

I looked at him, surprised by his honesty. “And I’ve always admired how you can light up a room just by walking into it. You make everything look so easy.”

He smiled, a softer, more genuine smile than I’d seen before. “It’s not always as easy as it looks. Sometimes, it feels like I’m just playing a role. But with you... I feel like I can be myself.”

My heart swelled at his words. “I feel the same way, Ethan. With you, I don’t feel like I have to hide.”

We continued talking, sharing pieces of ourselves we hadn’t revealed to anyone else. I told him about my love for painting, how it was my way of expressing emotions I couldn’t put into words. He opened up about his fear of being alone, how he surrounded himself with people to avoid facing his own insecurities.

As the night wore on, I found myself drawn to him in ways I hadn’t expected. Despite our differences, or maybe because of them, we fit together in a way that felt right. His outgoing nature balanced my introversion, his confidence bolstered my shyness, and his warmth melted my reservations.

Ethan reached out, taking my hand in his. His touch was gentle, yet it sent a jolt of electricity through me. “Y/N, I know we’re different, but I can’t help how I feel. Being with you makes me want to be better, to be more.”

I looked into his eyes, seeing the vulnerability and sincerity there. “I feel the same way, Ethan. You make me feel... alive, like anything is possible.”

He leaned in closer, his gaze never leaving mine. “So, what do you say we give this a try? Us, I mean. I know it won’t always be easy, but I think it could be something amazing.”

I smiled, my heart full of hope and excitement. “I’d like that, Ethan. I’d like that a lot.”

As he pulled me into a gentle embrace, I realized that sometimes, the most unexpected connections can be the most beautiful. Despite our differences, or maybe because of them, we were falling for each other, and I couldn’t wait to see where this journey would take us.

[its-avalon-08]

why did you leave me (cl16)

part8!

multipart story! prev || next

✦ pairing - charles leclerc x female reader

summary : charles and y/n have always been best friends. but y/n has been in love with him forever. when charles starts dating a new girl, out of respect y/n distances herself. but how much is too much?

Y/N, feeling slightly steadier after her talk with Lando, decided to head back to the paddock. Her heart still felt heavy, but the weight of her secret was a bit lighter now. As she walked, she spotted Charles standing alone, leaning against a wall. He looked up, and their eyes met. His eyes were just as red and puffy as hers, filled with a mixture of pain and longing.

For a moment, they both stood frozen, staring at each other. Then, as if drawn by an invisible force, they both moved at the same time, running towards each other. When they collided, it was as if all the barriers between them shattered. Y/N leaped into Charles' arms, wrapping her legs around his waist, holding on as if her life depended on it. Charles buried his head into her hair, breathing in her familiar scent, his arms wrapped tightly around her, never wanting to let go.

Months of distance, misunderstandings, and unspoken words melted away in that embrace. It felt like coming home after being lost for too long. Both of them held on, neither wanting to be the first to break the hug, savoring the closeness they had missed so desperately.

Charles pulled Y/N even closer, feeling the warmth of her body against his. Her arms wrapped tightly around his neck, and her legs stayed securely around his waist. The world around them seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of them in that moment. He could feel the rapid beating of her heart against his chest, mirroring his own.

Her scent, a mix of vanilla and something uniquely her, filled his senses, grounding him in a way nothing else ever had. He buried his face in her hair, the soft strands brushing against his cheek. It had been months since they had embraced like this, and the longing they had both felt was finally being sated.

Y/N clung to him, her fingers gripping his shoulders as if afraid he might disappear. She could feel the strength and reassurance in his embrace, the way his hands gently but firmly held her. The hug was more than just physical; it was an unspoken promise, a silent confession of all the words they hadn’t said.

For Charles, holding Y/N like this was a revelation. The way she fit perfectly in his arms, the comfort and peace he found in her presence—it all made sense now. This was where he belonged, with her. As he tightened his embrace, he whispered softly, “I never want to let you go again.”

Y/N’s tears mingled with his, their faces so close they could feel each other’s breath. She nestled her head into the crook of his neck, feeling his heartbeat steady and strong. It was as if the months of pain and separation melted away in the warmth of their hug, leaving only the pure, unfiltered love they had for each other.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Charles whispered, his voice cracking with emotion. “I didn’t realize how much until now.”

Tears streamed down Y/N’s face as she clung to him. “I missed you too, Charles. More than you know.”

Charles pulled back slightly, his eyes searching hers. “Y/N, we need to talk about something. I need to tell you something, and I need you to understand how much you mean to me.”

Fear flickered in Y/N’s eyes. “Charles, I—”

“No, let me finish,” he said, his voice gentle but firm. “I heard everything you said to Lando. I'm sorry, I really am. I didn't mean to eavesdrop but its like I couldn't move away. I know why you pulled away, why you’ve been hurting. And it breaks my heart that I didn’t see it before. That I missed the fact that you felt this way.”

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat. “You heard all of that?”

Charles nodded, his eyes filled with a mixture of guilt and hope. “Every word. And it made me realize something, too. I’ve been blind to what’s right in front of me. You’ve always been there for me, Y/N. You’ve always been the one I turn to, the one who understands me better than anyone else. Every time I walked into a party, I would search for you. I wanted your hugs, your advice, your tears all of it.”

Y/N’s heart raced, fear and hope warring within her. “Charles, please don’t say this just because you feel guilty. I can’t handle that.”

Charles shook his head, his grip on her tightening. “It’s not guilt cherie. It’s clarity. You’ve always been more than just a friend to me. I just didn’t realize it until now. I need you in my life, not just as my best friend, but as something more.”

Charles pulled back slightly, just enough to look into Y/N’s eyes, his own brimming with emotion. "You know, Y/N, looking back, I realize now that it was always you. I just never recognized it for what it was. All those times I went out of my way for you, it wasn’t just because we were friends."

Y/N tilted her head, her eyes searching his. "What do you mean?"

Charles took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts. "Remember when we were in high school, and I used to drive halfway across town just to bring you your favorite coffee before class? Or the time I spent an entire weekend building that bookshelf for your room because you mentioned you needed one? I even learned to cook your favorite meal just to surprise you on your birthday."

He paused, his voice softening with the weight of his realization. "Those weren’t just friendly gestures, Y/N. Those were the actions of someone who was in love, even if I didn’t realize it at the time. I wanted to see you happy, to see you smile because of something I did. I wanted to be the one you could always count on, the one who was always there for you. And every time I saw you with someone else, it hurt because I wanted to be the one who made you laugh, who made you feel special."

Y/N’s eyes widened, tears glistening as she listened. "Charles, I had no idea…"

Charles nodded, his own eyes filling with tears. "Neither did I, not really. But now, looking back, it all makes sense. I’ve loved you for so long, Y/N. I just didn’t understand my own feelings. But now I do. And I don’t want to waste any more time. I want to be with you, to make you happy, to love you the way you deserve to be loved."

Y/N was speechless. It was like a dream, the right guy, the right words coming out of his mouth, all of it.

Charles took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts before speaking again. "You know, Y/N, I never really understood why I felt so jealous whenever I saw you with other guys. It was like this fire inside me every time someone else made you laugh or smile. I hated it. I wanted to be the one to make you happy, to see those smiles and hear those laughs. I wanted all of them for myself, but I didn't know why until now."

Y/N looked at him, her eyes wide with surprise and hope. "Charles, you never showed it. You always seemed so okay with me being around other guys."

Charles shook his head, a sad smile on his lips. "I guess I was good at hiding it. But every time I saw you with someone else, it felt like a piece of my heart was being ripped out. I didn't understand it then, but now I do. I was jealous because deep down, I wanted to be the one who had your heart. I wanted to be the one you looked at with those beautiful eyes of yours. And now that I know you feel the same way, I don’t want to waste another moment."

Tears filled Y/N’s eyes again, but this time they were tears of hope. “Charles, are you saying…”

“Yes,” he interrupted, his voice full of conviction. “I’m saying that I love you, Y/N. I’ve loved you for longer than I can remember. I just didn’t recognize it for what it was. But I do now, and I don’t want to lose you. Not again.”

Y/N’s heart soared, the words she had longed to hear finally spoken. She cupped his face in her hands, her eyes searching his. “I love you too, Charles. I always have. I just didn’t think you could ever feel the same.” She leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead. "I’m here, Charles. I’m yours. And I’ve wanted to be for so long."

Charles smiled, his heart feeling lighter than it had in months. “Well, now you know. And I promise, I’m not letting you go. Not ever again. And I’m yours, Y/N. You have all of me. Forever."

Charles leaned in, his forehead resting against hers.

They stayed like that for a moment, wrapped up in each other, the weight of their confessions lifting the heavy clouds that had hung over them for so long. Finally, they had found their way back to each other, and nothing would ever keep them apart again.

[homeofatlas]

Five Times You Almost Kissed Elisa And The One Time She Kissed You

Authors note: I’ve been trying to write this all week between exams and summatives but it's finally here. Side note i miss you in french is tu me manques which means you’re missing from me and i think that’s super cute so keep that in mind. Hope y'all enjoy this and your weekends! 

Word Count: 5.3k

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The first time:

You’ve been on the team for about a year now. You were signed because of your impressive scores and how well you’d communicated and fit in with the team. You’d become an asset to the team in such a short time, it felt like you’d been there forever. The girls were a family and they welcomed you into it with open arms. While you loved all of them, you’d always been slightly on the fence with a certain defender. She was beautiful, charming, and aggressive on the field, all things you found endearing. You’d been infatuated with her since the moment you’d first laid eyes on her. It didn’t help that every time you talked to her you found you had more in common. Her sense of humour matched yours perfectly and you’d never felt anything like what you feel with her before. When people talk about ‘knowing’ you’re sure this is what they mean. The only problem? You aren’t sure she feels the same way, in fact you’re almost certain she doesn’t. It frustrates you endlessly how you have these great moments together and she doesn’t seem to pick up on the fact that it’s you she belongs with. One time while over dinner she expressed she felt it had been so long since her last relationship that she felt lonely and wondered when she would find someone. All you’d wanted to do was scream the right person was sitting right in front of her. If you she’d give you a chance. But your relationship with her was too precious to blow up over romantic feelings. What if you’re wrong and it doesn’t work out? Then you’ve lost her and the relationship. You couldn’t risk it. 

There were times during practice games where you and elisa got put on opposing teams creating a healthy competition between you two. Sometimes this involved purposely aggravating her, trash talking, and the occasional trip which had either of you eating dirt. It excited you to see Elisa riled up in some way without compromising your relationship. There were times afterwards when you were both breathing hard and looking at each other intensely that you thought she could feel the electricity between you two. But at the end she’d throw her arm over your shoulder and laugh about what a good friend you were to put up with how aggressive she was. All of this was a part of a larger joke and amused both of you during ‘boring’ days. 

Today was one of those days. The sky was grey and getting darker by the minute but coach had you put on the coloured jerseys and get out onto the field to practise a defensive strategy he had come up with earlier. When put onto opposing teams you and elisa played this game. When you were put together your team almost always won because of how powerful you were together. Standing on opposing sides of the field you caught her eye and saw the competitive gleam there. Even if it was going to rain today, you would have some fun with her.

Staring off in your positions you eye each other making sure you both know the game is on. You warm up by getting a little too close when guarding her and making challenging faces at her. She tries to pull the aggressive pushes she uses on the field but you know her too well and dodge them everytime. After a while it begins to lightly rain, not enough to impair  the game but enough to make the ground wet. 

As the ball gets kicked into your side of the field you begin to chase after it trying to move it away with elisa right behind you. You can feel her getting closer and as you begin to fake right to go left she goes left, her foot coming out to steal the ball accidentally trips you and she tries to grab you as you fall but end up taking her with you. 

Heavily breathing with rain pattering on your face and all around you, you look up to see Elisa hovering on top of you, her eyes scanning your face for any injuries. Her left arm is to the side of your head propping her up and her right hand is cradling your head so it didn't hit the ground as you fell. The sight of her concerned face and her scent this close to you makes you dizzy. Whether the wind has been knocked out of you because of the fall or because you’re looking at her this close to you, you don’t know. You feel like you’re going cross eyed looking at her this close. 

“You okay?” She whispers in her heavy french accent.

Your eyes flicker to hers and she stares down deep into yours. You feel her intake of breath above you pushing her lower half closer to you. 

“Yeah” You breathe back to her. 

It feels like she’s moving closer to you but maybe your depth perception is off and the rain is hitting your skin cooling you down but Elisas body heat is warming you up and distantly you can hear the other girls calling your names and running over to you to make sure you’re okay but right now your world consists of only you and her. Her hand moves from cradling your head and she drags her warm hand down your cheek, her thumb coming to rest on the side of your nose before going to swipe it across your cheek. All of sudden you can feel a set of hands on your shoulders and arms pulling you up and away from Elisa. You can hear Sakina berating her for playing too hard in bad conditions but you can't hear her defending herself. She must feel guilty, you think to yourself. The girls crowd around asking if you’re okay. But all you can see is Elisa and how her back is turned to you and her side is covered in dirt. Turning to walk towards the benches you take what feels like your first breath since falling. As you walk away you wonder if she felt what you did between you two on the field. 

The Second Time: 

It happens again when you and Elisa are meeting up to carpool with Sakina for a day outing. Elisa shows up on time but uncharacteristically you both get texts from Sakina stating she’ll be about 20 minutes late. Left to yourselves you turn to grab a glass of water when you hear Elisa begin to move away from where she was positioned at the door. She moves toward the piano you have in your living room. You had hoped buying one would entice you to play it more often but often it sits there unused. 

“You play?” She asks, trailing her fingers along the keys. 

“I used to. I rarely feel like playing these days though.” You walk over to the piano bench and settle on it before patting the spot beside you where she fits in. 

“Can you play?” You ask. 

“Non, I wanted to but I was always too busy with football to commit to an instrument.”

You nod your head. 

“I wasn’t very good when I did play consistently, my hands aren’t big enough to make a lot of songs easy to play.”

“I’m sure they aren’t that small.” She responds. 

“I mean I can do things with them just not play the piano the best it could be played, you know?”

She gives you a look before gesturing to your hands to give them to her. You move your hands over to her and turn to face her. She inspects your hands and turns them over in her own warm palms before splaying her hand out in between you. You splay your hand out over hers and see how your fingers come up to just below her last knuckle. You both lean in to look at your two hands and make eye contact. 

“Guess your hand isn’t as big as I thought it was.”

“So you think about my hands?”

“I mean how do you even get anything done with hands that small.”

“You lay off my hands, I do things just fine with them!”

“Not play the piano apparently.” She smirks at her own joke. You narrow your eyes at her before realizing how close you are to her again. This close you can see the sunspots on her nose and her textured skin. Your nostrils flare slightly. She looks into your eyes, challenging you. You shake your head. You see her eyes flicker to a strand of hair that’s fallen into your face. Without a second passing she reaches up to brush it away from your face tracing your cheek as she goes to tuck it behind your ear. She looks back into your eyes and they flicker down to your lips, at least you think they do. Your breath hitches. You begin to lean in slightly and so does she when there’s a knock at the door. You both exhale and deflate. You look at her again to see her eyes scrunched up and she’s getting up off the bench and going towards the door. You can hear your phone buzzing, no doubt Sakina phoning you to tell you to let her in. You love the girl but right now she is not your best friend. All you’re thinking about is did that really just almost happen, again? 

The Third Time: 

The third time you were out on the field in the middle of the game guarding some player from Ajax when she elbowed you and caused you to stumble slightly before you got back up and kept running after her. She’d been harassing you the whole game, pissing you off more and more every time. Each time you cradled your stomach or winced you saw Elisa looking over at you to make sure you were alright. She’d come up to you and asked if you were alright at least 3 times now. These reassurances weren’t enough to keep her from shooting daggers at the Ajax player though. If looks could kill the Ajax player would be six feet under. 

But when she tripped you purposely causing you to have to sit out for the rest of the game Elisa was brutal towards her. Cutting her off at every pass, running faster than her, and never letting anyone near the net she was on fire. Finally the Ajax player became fed up with it and decided to take matters into her own hands. She and one of her other team mates used Elisas strength and aggressiveness against her by getting her to awkwardly on her foot. 

You immediately stood up from the bench and ran to help her limp back to the locker room as there was no way she’d be able to play for the rest of the night. You hoped the referee would red card her but figured it was unlikely as she hadn’t been yellow carded for putting you out of the game either. You helped to settle her into the a chair as you waited for the teams medic to come and check elisa out. You hold her hand tightly knowing how much pain she’s in but clearly trying to put on a brave face. 

“How are you feeling?” You ask, trying not to be obvious you know how she’s feeling. 

“Frustrated, angry, and i’m in pain! She shouldn’t be allowed to injure you and me without repercussions.” She exaggerates with her hands breaking out into a flurry of fast french. 

“You know you could have left her alone, you didn’t need to be so aggressive with her.”

“She hurt you, she put you out of the game, that’s not okay”

“I know but sometimes that’s how the game is babe,” You begin to rub soothing circles on her shoulder. “How many times have you put someone out with how aggressive you are?”

She guiltily lowers her gaze to the floor. 

It’s quiet in the room for a few seconds before you feel her sigh and kneel down to be eye level with her. 

“Elisa talk to me.” You try to reason with her. 

As she looks at you, you can see the ring of red around her eyes indicating how stressed out she is. 

“I just don't like seeing you hurt.” Her voice cracks. “Remember when I accidentally tripped you during the practice game? I felt sick to my stomach knowing I'd hurt you. I never want to hurt you Y/N.” 

Little does she know she breaks your heart a little more every day you can’t be with her. Your faces are close together after her confession. You reach up to push her hair which had been falling in her face to the side again. You see her big wide brown eyes staring at you and you lean in to knock your forehead against hers. An action you save solely for when you feel words aren’t enough to express yourself in the moment. It’s hard for you to be intimate like this with her knowing you can’t have it all the time, which is why you make the most of these moments. You can feel her shift to knock your noses together. The closest you’ve ever gotten. Your eyes shut and you can feel her breath on your face and her eyelashes tickling your cheek. You slowly begin to move in and maybe she does too when you hear the door begin to open causing you to inhale sharply and pull back before standing up next to elisa again like you had been before. While nothing happened and you had leaned your forehead on hers before it had never gone on for that long or felt so close to being what you wanted it to be. You and Elisa barely met each other's eye for the rest of the night. What the hell was going on, you wondered. 

The fourth time:

It was after a team dinner where everyone had had a good time full of laughter and stories of old games, the victories and the funny failures. You loved seeing the team this way, so open and relaxed. Additionally you loved to see their outfits outside of their uniforms you all wore everyday to work. Elisa was dressed up in a collared shirt with smart slacks. By the end of the dinner a button or two had come down and she’d rolled the sleeves up. With all the good food and wine flowing through you you found yourself leaning into her space when laughing more often than usual. You bumped your head into her shoulder and smiled at her brightly whenever she looked your way. All you wanted was to have her eyes on you. 

As she talked to the other girls scattered around the table you found yourself grasping for her hand to take and hold to have some piece of her. You were usually a touchy person so it wasn’t completely out of the norm for you to begin tracing Elisas hands and sliding your fingers through hers. Now you knew they were bigger than yours, you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the moment between you two at the piano. The thought of what might have happened kept you awake at night, thinking about her proximity, her warm hands on yours, how she brushed your hair away from your face. A shiver went down your spine thinking about it. 

Elisa glances towards you with the movement. She goes to retrieve her blazer from the back of her seat and gives it to you. You wrap the jacket around your shoulders and sit back and watch Elisa smile and joke with the woman across from her. In the ambient lighting of the restaurant she looks golden. Small rays of light gracing her face as though the sun was reaching out to touch her. The sun was Icarus and Elisa was the sun. Perhaps you were Icarus in your own mission to touch her but you’d endure the burn of the wax for a moment to be warmed by her. 

Falling back to earth you hear Elisa saying something to you. 

“Are you ready to go?” She lowers her voice and gaze to speak to you slowly. 

“Yeah.” You can’t look away from the light dancing on her face. It makes you sick to think someone can be this beautiful and you can’t have her. She’s everything to you. Definitely time to go home. 

As you gather your things and make the rounds saying goodbye you and Elisa walk in a contented silence back to her car. Luckily Elisa had volunteered to pick you up and be the designated driver so you could enjoy tonight. As you slide into the passenger seat you’re almost lulled to sleep by the fluid motion of the car. Neither of you speak, exhausted from the party with so many people. This is one of your favourite parts about Elisa, she always knows when you do and don’t want to talk. She reads you so flawlessly it’s a miracle she hasn’t discovered your crush on her by now. 

She silently pulls into the garage of your apartment and unlocks the door. The issue is you don’t want to go. Sure you hadn’t been in the middle of a conversation but you don’t want to leave this weighted content silence. Elisa relaxes back into the seat and looks over at you. You think she doesn’t want to leave either but you’re sure she’s tired and you’re projecting. You try to prolong the night. 

“I don't want to go.” You sigh. “I’ll have to walk all the way to the elevator and then to my apartment then open the door then put my things away. I’m too tired for that.” Your head rolls over towards her. 

The radio plays softly between you. 

She smiles lazily at you as if she’d peel a clementine for you if you asked. Of course she’ll walk you to your apartment and make sure you get in and give you someone to lean on in the elevator. That's who she is. It’s heartbreaking.

“I’ll come with you, come on.” She pats your leg and gets out of the car as you heave yourself out of your seat and into the cold air of the garage. Elisa extends an arm for you to slip under and you walk towards the elevator and then wait for it. Once there she presses the number for the floor and you lean your head on her shoulder. She allows her head to rest on yours until you reach your floor. She walks you to your door and wrestles with your key to get it open. 

Cursing she throws the key down onto your side table stepping into the hall entrance way. 

“I don't know why you don’t get those locks changed, I know you have the money to do it.” She looks at you. 

“Sure I could change them but where’s the charm in not struggling to get into a place I pay rent for. I think it gives the place character.” You smile charmingly at her and step out of your shoes. 

She rolls her eyes and looks back towards the doorway. You hand her back her blazer and your eyes linger on each other as if to say, what now? We feel unfinished. You lean up to give her a hug which lingers for too long to be strictly platonic. Her arms curl around your waist and yours around her neck. As you begin to pull away your cheek brushes on hers. You stop close enough where she could lean in if she wanted too. You breathe in sync for a couple seconds. Sex is great but if you could stay here breathing with her forever you would never be more intimate. You begin to hesitate, if she was going to lean in she would have done it by now. Her grip loosens and she pulls away. Her stormy expression confuses you and she quickly shakes it away. Giving you a small smile and wave before turning to leave the apartment and closing the front door behind her. Trailing after her you lean your forehead against the cool door. What are you doing, you wonder. 

The fifth time: 

After everything had happened things cooled down for a bit. You barely had time to do everything in the day with all the training you were doing. Times with Elisa became sparse and while you two tried to make plans things always kept coming up. It felt like the world had given you your chances and you’d missed it. Whenever you two had begun to have another moment you’d always gotten cut off or the moment wasn’t right. Just when there’d been a lull in your training schedules for the christmas break you’d thought you’d see more only for her to tell you she was going skiing all break with her family. You loved that family was so important to her but you were feeling very frustrated at this point. She always seemed to side step the topic when you tried to bring it up. Three weeks of little to no time spent with her and two weeks without her at all would be your own personal hell but if it meant at the end you could work things out it would be worth it. You were still confused over the last time you had almost kissed. Her stormy expression hadn’t left your mind for weeks. You were concerned she didn’t really feel the same way you felt and you’d been making up the moments all along in your head. 

The break passed with sporadic messages as she didn’t have great cellphone reception in the mountains. You visited family and mostly tried to complete a few errands you’d been putting off with your busy schedule. Your apartment had felt so empty without the person who was usually hanging out with you. It no longer felt like home as much as it did when she was there. You wondered what she was doing when you were folding laundry and loading the dishwasher. You thought about her while brushing your teeth and hanging up sweaters. You’d become so used to her presence you didn’t know how to be without her. 

On the first morning back to practice from break you were the first one to arrive. You set your bag back into your stall finally ready to go back to your routine. Slowly more of the team began to file in and grumbled about the early morning practices. You watched the door for Elisa. She’d flown in early yesterday morning and texted you back when she was on french soil. Since then you’d been on edge for the next time you saw her. Your ears picked up on her familiar french lilt speaking to someone coming down the hallway before entering the change room. Her and Sakina parted ways to go to their cubbies but when you saw her enter she immediately began to scan the room for you. Landing on you, she began to make her way to you. She set down her bag on a bench before coming over to where you had already changed into your uniform. 

Before that moment you had pledged to yourself you were going to play it cool and act like it had been a normal break where you had not thought about her all day and night since you last saw her. But when she was standing in front of you, it took everything not to fall to your knees. You’d forgotten how much her presence affected you and made you weak in the knees. Your arm extends without you thinking about it and she comes in to hug you so hard you feel like you can’t breathe. Or maybe you’re hugging her so hard you can’t breathe. Either way it feels like you can’t be close enough to her. It feels like you’ve taken your first breath of air since you last saw her. There’s no way the way you love her is normal. You stay locked against her until you can see the other girls begin to file out. Elisa gently rocks you in her arms whispering small “I missed yous” in your ear while petting your hair and pressing her face to the side of your head. Slowly you recover and begin to untangle yourself from her. She doesn’t let you away though. She pulls her hands to your face and pulls your forehead against hers. Gently she nudges your noses against each other. 

You might cry if she doesn’t stop. Being this close to her after so much time away makes you sick in the best way. You’re flushed with desire for her. You yearn for her. 

Cupping your cheeks she pulls away to look in your eyes. 

“We have to talk.” She whispers gazing deeply into your eyes. Her eyes flicker to each of yours as if searching for something. 

You nod as much as you can. 

“Can we go to yours after practice?” She asks. 

“Yeah.” You try not to let your voice crack. 

“Okay.” Her face breaks out into a small smile. She dips down leaving a kiss on your cheek before turning to go to her stall and change. You grab your water and walk down the tunnel to the field. You can’t be around her anymore, your head is starting to hurt. Today was going to be a long day. 

The sixth time:

You’d been practically electric all day. It felt like someone had electrocuted you with a ton of energy and you had nowhere to put it. Comparatively, you also hadn’t been able to focus on much of anything today instead of being hyper aware of where Elisa was at all moments. Positioning yourself so she was always in your line of sight helped you breathe a little easier. Still you and she kept away from each other for the most parts of the day, only coming together to stand beside each other silently. Nothing needed to be said, you both knew what needed to happen was going to happen tonight whether it was what you wanted or not. By the time coach whistled and let you go you were dragging your feet from how tired you were and your stomach began to tie itself into knots. 

Changing quickly you leave and see Elisa follow suit trailing two steps behind you in the hallway to the parking lot. Since you came in different cars that morning she’d have to follow you back to your apartment. Getting in your car you drive home watching your rear view in case for some reason Elisas car magically disappeared off the road. As you pull into the garage and grab your bag from the back seat you watch Elisa do the same and fall into step with you towards the elevator. As you wait for the elevator you can feel her shoulder pressing into yours, below that you can feel fingers interlacing with yours. You look down and then up to see her giving you a small smile as the door dings open signaling its arrival. You smile back and the cramp in your stomach loosens a little. Walking to your apartment from the elevator feels the longest it ever has. Now is the last time you’ll be able to imagine what’ll happen once you’re in there. Fighting with the lock to get it to open you finally get the door open while Elisa sighs and shakes her head. 

“Don’t even say it, I know what you’re thinking.” You threaten as you drop your things. 

“I didn’t say a thing.” She puts her hands in the air to simulate surrender. 

“Didn’t have to, I could feel it radiating off of you.” 

“Well that’s not my fault. I can’t control that.” She replies, placing her things down gently next to yours. 

Standing in your apartment now it feels so real. Months of dancing around each other leading up to this moment. You stand there feeling naked under her gaze. Sometimes you swear she can see right through you. This heavy silence feels almost suffocating. Elisa always knows how to break the tension though. 

“Can I use your shower? I changed really fast at the stadium and didn't get a chance to wash off today.”

“Yeah totally.” You shake yourself out of your daze. “You know where the bathroom is and there’s towels in the cupboard on your left.”

She smiles and begins to walk down the hallway. You aren’t worried, you have all night to talk. But it's eating away at you slowly. Turning on some music you can hear the shower begin to run.  Music will help distract from the fact that you’re about to have a conversation which might make or break your relationship. Spinning around your kitchen you begin to heat up the water while you prepare the other ingredients for D/Y/C (Dinner of Your Choice). You begin to hum along to the music and move your head as you chop up the ingredients. You begin to lose yourself in the act of cooking becoming so intensely focused on it so as not to think of anything else. By the time you zone back in you realize you can’t hear the shower running anymore. Glancing behind you to see if Elisas comes out you startle seeing her leaning against the wall and watching you. Her wet hair creates small water marks on the collar of her shirt. 

“You scared me, I didn't hear the shower turn off.” You say. 

“Sorry, you seemed into the cooking and I didn’t want to scare you while you were holding a knife.” She shrugs and pushes off the wall. “Plus, I like watching you do your own thing.” She begins to make her way closer to you. 

Stopping beside you she looks over and you know it’s time to talk. You turn the heat down on the stove and turn to face her with your arms crossed, almost hugging yourself. She inhales as if she’s going to say something but you cut her off. 

“Can I say something first?”

She nods. 

“I….” The words die on your tongue but you have to force them out. You swallow. Leap of faith. “I like you. I really like you, I have for a while now. I like everything about you, even the bits that kind of drive me nuts. I love watching movies, and going on walks, competing, and laughing with you. It never feels like a moment is wasted between us. No matter what happens or what you have to say, know you made my world bigger and brighter since you’ve come into my life.” You sigh with a long exhale. 

Elisas smile gradually got bigger the more you spoke. 

“Cherie, did you honestly think I would say anything but the same back?” She places a hand on your back. “I haven’t been able to get you off my mind since we met. My world is infinitely better with you in it. Over the break I looked out the window and saw these beautiful mountains and all I could think of was how much I wanted you to be there next to me looking at them too. Nothing seems half as beautiful without you.”

Her hands travel up to cup your cheeks. You feel so relieved she feels the same way your shoulders sag with relief. You look into her shining eyes. This moment is where you’d like to stay forever. Safe in her arms with all her concentration on you. Her wide smile is your favourite sight in the whole world. You can see her thinking though. 

“What?” You ask.

“Can I finally kiss you now?” She asks. 

“Yes.” You smile leaning in.

And she kisses you. 

[mondscheinprinzessin]

There is literally no point in sending these on anon, i think we've well established how much of a first kiss/time simp i am

❛ come back to bed. ❜ + ❛ i’ve never done something like this before. ❜

And I will gladly write all the first kisses for you!

The giggling could be heard all along the hallway, but Aleksi and Olli didn’t care if they woke any hotel guests with their giddiness.

They only had eyes and ears for each other, all senses sharpened to analyze every signal the other one was giving them, and so far, everything hinted towards one thing. Which had made them leave the after-show party in the first place, leaving all their friends behind and retiring to their hotel room earlier than was planned.

Or rather Aleksi’s hotel room, but one bed would be enough for what they were so excitedly walking along the floor hand in hand.

Olli was still laughing, cheeks red, when Aleksi held the keycard to his door, quickly opening it and shutting it behind them with a loud thud, still not giving a care who was noticing them. All his attention was on Olli, and once they were alone, he couldn’t resist kissing those damn lips, still red and wet from the cocktail Olli had abandoned in the bar.

Blindly he slapped the wall behind him until he hit the light switch, pleased to be able to see Olli fully now. And what a sight he was; Aleksi couldn’t get enough, letting his eyes roam freely.

Nor was kissing alone the reason for their abrupt departing.

Aleksi couldn’t even talk despite the need to tell Olli how hot he looked, could only show with his hands how desperately he needed his shirt out of the way. His lips were occupied soon after anyways. Merely noises of satisfaction were leaving his mouth, just enough air flowing back into him to not pass out when Olli attacked his lips again, shoving him against the wall after he got rid of the shirt.

He would have cursed if he still had half of his mind left to form any words, but everything was just chanting to touch Olli, trace his ribs, feel for the hair on his chest and happy trail, the stubble on his chin that was so wonderfully rubbing against his mouth from time to time, and wandering lower until he had his hand full of Olli’s delightful ass.

It had been in Aleksi’s view all concert long and finally, finally he could touch.

Olli was smiling against his mouth, and Aleksi had to join him, his chest and stomach both fluttering. If it was his heart that had suddenly grown a twin in his tummy, or if he was being consumed by butterflies, he didn’t know, but likewise he felt feather-light.

Taking one of Olli’s hands that had found a place on Aleksi’s hip, fingers deliciously leaving red imprints, he pulled him along to the bed. Not because he was so desperate, but it was definitely more comfortable and he wanted to ravage Olli, turning him unwilling to leave the bed before it was morning and the sun woke them up.

Somehow, and honestly Aleksi really couldn’t recall how, he lost his shirt on their way, but he would gladly walk around without one forever if he could experience the feeling of Olli’s soft skin against his.

They had fallen on top of each other, neither sure which arm and leg belonged to whom, but also not caring as long as they were pressed together, busy exploring and discovering new spots of pleasure.

In a short break their eyes found each other, Aleksi’s hand caressing Olli’s cheek while he was smiling fondly, hardly believing this was actually happening and not just one of his dreams.

While he was gazing into Olli’s face with all the love that was currently pouring out of him, he could feel Olli’s body tensing. He couldn’t think about it any further as Olli’s expression melted away from joy and there was only frightful surprise left in his eyes. And before Aleksi could ask, Olli was already jumping up from the bed, creating a safe distance between them.

At once there was only confusion and worry in Aleksi. “Hey, what is going on? Talk to me.” He said softly, seeing as Olli was standing there scared like a deer in headlights.

In a rush of words he received an answer. “I’ve never done something like this before.” Olli sounded distraught and ready to tear his hair out. The curls not only messy because of Aleksi running his hands through them but because Olli chose them for a nervous outlet.

“What, making out with a man?” Aleksi doubted it and laughed shortly.

His comment was supposed to elicit a similar reaction in Olli, but his friend continued to avoid his eyes, arms shielding his naked chest.

“No. Kissing a friend, and- and it being serious. You know how close Joonas and I are, but that’s just fun, there’s nothing that could hurt our friendship with what we do. But…you and I- that’s not just silly flirting.”

Ah, there was the problem that turned the wheels in Olli’s head.

Aleksi held out his hand to beckon Olli closer. “Come back to bed. Come on.” He added with more urgency and patted the space next to him. He was leaning against the headboard, having sat up so he could see Olli properly where he was tripping through the hotel room with all their stuff laying around. There hadn’t exactly been time tidying up.

Carefully Olli took the invitation and sat down next to Aleksi, shuffling around until his legs were under the blanket.

“Sorry for freaking out.” Olli apologized and let out a big sigh.

“You don’t have to apologize for that. Whatever stresses you out, I would like to know. So I can help.” Aleksi dared to strengthen his hold on Olli’s hand, getting closer so he could pull Olli’s head on his shoulder and kiss his forehead.

That seemed to take the tension away and Olli melted against him, eyes dropping low. “I was just- I was enjoying it!” Olli looked at him with big eyes and Aleksi could see nothing but honesty, and it would have surprised him if anything of what had previously been happening was just acting. “But then I had to start thinking, like an idiot. I mean- there’s this gorgeous half-naked man lying on the bed, ready to have sex with me, and I get all hysterical.” Even Olli had to laugh at that, face-palming and ending off in a groan.

Smiling at Olli’s own amusement, Aleksi could only feel sympathy.

“The gorgeous half-naked man is still lying on the bed, just saying.” Aleksi quoted him back, and this time hitting right with his joke, his heart doing a somersault at the receiving laugh. “But don’t worry, if you’re not ready, there doesn’t have to be anything happening tonight.”

And he meant it. For him it wasn’t a one-night stand, there was more to it, way more.

Olli sighed again, seriousness returning. “Yeah, I guess I ruined the mood for tonight. I thought I was ready, but...”

“We should have talked a bit more beforehand?” Aleksi finished the sentence.

“Yeah. If you don’t mind? I’m up for cuddling…”

“Olli.” Aleksi took Olli’s chin and forced him to look at him because what he was about to say was important and he needed Olli to understand. “I’m up for anything. For cuddling, for talking, for taking you out on a date, for sharing the stage with you for another ten years, for watching Lord of the Rings with you another five times. And sex, yes, but the other things are just as important to me.”

The gentle kiss he received in turn was a good enough answer for him.

Smiling back contently, Aleksi put the blanket over them both and grabbed the remote. “Okay then, let’s see which crazy documentary we can find at three am in the morning, and I will show you what a great cuddler I am.”

[casdeanwin]

Okay, so I asked ChatGPT to tell me a story about Bobby and Buck. This is what it gave me. I think its really sweet.

---

Bobby Nash and Evan Buckley were winding down after a particularly grueling day at Station 118. The day had been filled with a series of challenging calls, including a major car accident and a hazardous materials spill.

Now, as the sun set and the city lights began to twinkle, the two men found themselves sitting on the firehouse roof, a quiet spot where they often went to decompress and talk.

Buck looked out over the city, his mind swirling with thoughts and emotions. Bobby, sensing something was on Buck’s mind, gave him a gentle nudge. “What’s on your mind, Buck?”Buck took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts.

He had always admired Bobby, not just as a captain but as a mentor and a father figure. Over time, their bond had grown deeper, rooted in mutual respect and a shared dedication to their work. Now, Buck felt an overwhelming need to express what Bobby meant to him.

“Bobby,” Buck began, his voice uncharacteristically soft and hesitant, “I’ve been thinking a lot about everything that’s happened since I joined the team. You’ve been there for me through so much—my mistakes, my growth, all of it.”

Bobby nodded, his expression encouraging. “That’s what family does, Buck. We look out for each other.” Buck’s eyes grew moist, but he pressed on. “I know you’re not my biological father, but you’ve always treated me like a son. I’ve never really had someone like that in my life. I guess what I’m trying to say is… I love you, Bobby. And I wish I was your son.”

The words hung in the air, heavy with emotion.

Bobby’s eyes softened, and he placed a hand on Buck’s shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. “Buck, you are like a son to me. I’ve watched you grow, seen you face challenges head-on, and become an incredible firefighter and person. I’m proud of you every single day.”

Buck’s emotions overwhelmed him, and he blinked back tears. “I just wanted you to know. You’ve made such a difference in my life. I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

Bobby pulled Buck into a hug, holding him tightly. “I love you too, Buck. And I’m always here for you, no matter what. You’re family, and that’s forever.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, the bond between them stronger than ever. The weight of unspoken feelings had finally been lifted, replaced by a profound sense of understanding and love.

As they pulled away, Buck smiled, feeling lighter and more at peace than he had in a long time. “Thanks, Bobby. For everything.”

Bobby smiled back, his eyes filled with pride. “Anytime, Buck. Now, let’s get some rest. We’ve got another busy day ahead of us tomorrow.”

As they climbed down from the roof, side by side, Buck felt a renewed sense of purpose and belonging. With Bobby by his side, he knew he could face any challenge, confident in the knowledge that he was loved and supported by the man he admired most.

[richincolor]

Book Review: Where Was Goodbye

Title: Where Was Goodbye?

Author:  Janice Lynn Mather

Genres:  Contemporary

Pages: 304

Publisher: Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers

Review Copy: ARC by publisher

Availability: Available April 30th

Summary: Karmen is about to start her last year of high school, but it’s only been six weeks since her brother, Julian, died by suicide. How is she supposed to focus on school when huge questions loom: Why is Julian gone? How could she have missed seeing his pain? Could she have helped him?

When a blowup at school gets Karmen sent home for a few weeks, life gets more things between her parents are tenser than ever, her best friend’s acting like a stranger, and her search to understand why Julian died keeps coming up empty.

New friend Pru both baffles and comforts Karmen, and there might finally be something happening with her crush, Isaiah, but does she have time for either, or are they just more distractions? Will she ever understand Julian’s struggle and tragedy? If not, can she love—and live—again?

Review: “Where Was Goodbye” is the first novel I’ve read by Janice Lynn Mather and based on how much I enjoyed this novel, I want to go back and read her first two novels. Where Was Goodbye is a rich story that is full of so many meaningful themes as we journey with Karmen who is trying to make sense of her brother’s suicide. What I feel like this novel does best is show how the variety of ways people respond to grief and how relationships can grow and change based on that grief. 

The bulk of the story takes over a short span of time, about a week and a half, and boy does Karmen go through a lot. Her family is still deeply grieving her brother Julian’s death, but her father has decided that with her senior year of school starting, the family should be working towards normal. Unfortunately Karmen is clearly not ready and on her second day of school has an incident that sends her home. This sends Karmen on a journey to attempt to get into her brother’s head and figure out why he chose to end his life. I actually felt for Karmen because she was clearly feeling guilty about not figuring out something was wrong with her brother, and this guilt was displayed by decisions that were probably not very healthy. Her relationship with her best friend, Layla, becomes strained as Karmen desperately wants to be treated normally but Layla is that “well-meaning” person whose attempts at comfort actually hurt more. She’s at odds with her father because he thinks she should be back to normal, not realizing how Karmen is forever changed by the death. Karmen’s mother is so mired in her own grief that she is missing the grief of her daughter. All of the usual supports that Karmen would have had fail her and she is left to find her own, and her idea is to learn more about her brother’s inner thoughts. I actually liked this part of the story as I understand how sometimes what you need to heal is answers and even though you may never get the answer you need, the journey itself is healing. Through looking for her brother she learns how much he was loved at the History department he belong to at his university; she learned he had written an article and was published; and learned about who he was to his friends. This search for her brother, knowing him, and accepting the secret parts of him that she didn’t know helped her find her voice to ask for the help she really needed. 

In addition to traveling with Karmen in her journey to find her brother, Mather includes flashbacks throughout the story to moments with Karmen and her brother. I absolutely loved most of those moments because it fleshed out Karmen’s relationship with her brother for the reader, rather than the relationship being told to us. They little jokes they had, the way they mischievously worked together at times, really showed how much Karmen is hurting and made me really connect with her. 

“Where Was Goodbye” is a beautiful novel that is all about relationships and how one act can change everything. It deals with the ones who are left behind and how they move to heal. 

[fluentmoviequoter]

to being ghosts.

Chapter 3 - Treason Unordinary

Chapter Warnings: angst with a tiny sliver of fluff, mentions of death (fem!r) and executions, world-building. 5.1k+ words.

Your initial reaction upon entering Victor Vale’s safehouse outside of San Francisco was like an interruption. He, Sydney, Mitch, and Dol had grown comfortable in a domestic pattern on the run but made a sense of home wherever they went because of their unique bond. Then, when they decided to stay in one place and wait for you, there was an opportunity to settle into a routine, to be content and alone with one another, forgetting the world outside and all the changes everyone else went through.

When you walked in, it upset the domesticity, if only for a moment. As Victor learned to trust you, he kept Sydney at arm’s length, unwilling to let you get too close.

Now, you have fallen into the trap of alluring domesticity, too. Victor trusts you, Sydney feels safe beside you, and Mitch has been more help than you ever dreamed of having. The feeling of belonging, the sense that you finally found a place where you fit, living alongside other ghosts, threatens to blind you to your mission.

“What are you doing?” Victor asks.

“Mitch looked around online to see if I’d been reported missing or anything,” you answer softly.

“And?”

“There’s nothing. I’d bet that Daniels is lying to Smoak, pretending that he left me somewhere to protect me from your charms.”

Victor steps into your room, his brows raised as he repeats, “My charms?”

Sighing, you admit, “When Smoak told us about you for the first time, he said that Eli could charm women pretty easily, and he and Daniels warned me not to let you do the same to me. Smoak didn’t even know for sure what your powers were but told me not to let you get to me.”

“Yet here you are.”

“Was that a joke?” you ask excitedly. “Did Victor Vale just make a joke about using his charms to win me over?”

 “No. Did Smoak say anything else? Something that could help us take the NWA and the charter down, for good?”

“Not really. He gave us assignments, and even then, we got the bare minimum. Finding you was a stroke of luck.”

“My name’s pronounced Mitch,” Mitch calls from across the hall. “And you’re welcome!”

“What do we do now?” Victor asks.

“Truthfully, I have no idea, Victor. I’ve been running on adrenaline, hope, and a half-cocked plan to get all of the EOs in one place.”

Victor looks over his shoulder before closing your door and walking to the foot of your bed.

“You’ve shared a lot,” he begins.

“It’s the least I can do, given everything you’re doing to help me and other EOs.”

Victor sighs, lowering to sit on your bed. “Do you still want to hear about midnight?”

Sitting up to lean toward Victor, you nod.

“Then I guess we should start at Lockland, where I met Eli Cardale…”

✯✯✯✯✯

Sitting on one end of the couch, with Sydney beside you and Victor on the other side of her, you feel like part of a family. It’s been years since you felt anything like this, and you wish this moment would last forever.

“How many doctors are in the NWA?” Victor asks. “I can’t imagine spending all that time and money on med school just to be forced into a genocidal army.”

“I don’t know,” you answer. “But don’t worry, you wouldn’t have been they’re type anyway.”

“As if I would have let them find me.”

“Why are we staying hidden?” Sydney interjects. “I understood at first, while you figured out what to do, but it’s been a while now, and we’re still completely alone. No more EOs, no plan to save the world, just… waiting.”

“Unfortunately, it’s part of getting the world back, Syd,” you explain. “And I’m not just saying this because I don’t have a plan, which I don’t. But we should not go outside until we are prepared to deal with anything and everything that the NWA could throw at us. Daniels will be looking for Victor, and maybe for me, I don’t know. When or if he finds him, Smoak will call in backup, and with Victor gone, it’ll be open season for EOs.”

“You make it sound like Vic is keeping EOs safe,” Sydney murmurs.

“In a way, he is.”

“How so?” Victor asks, closing the book in his lap. “Most people don’t even know I exist.”

“Maybe not, but they know someone out there defeated EON, and that there is an EO important enough to keep most of the heat away from the ones that hide their powers or kept living like nothing changed.”

“How do they do that; live like nothing changed?”

“There’s no way to spot an EO just by looking at them,” Victor answers.

“Right,” you agree. “And people have accidents, brain tumors, loads of things that result in death, and then they get brought back. My first year as a cop, I died for nearly a minute before they brought me back, but nothing happened, and I kept doing my job.”

“You died?” Victor and Sydney ask together.

“Barely,” you reply playfully. “But my point is that finding EOs is harder than it seems. So as long as there’s someone like Victor, a known EO, for the NWA to focus on, the unknown EOs have some hope, a sense of safety they can rely on.”

“What about the ones your NWA friends are killing?” Sydney inquires.

“I hate that it’s happening, but there’s nothing I can do right now, Syd. When our time is right, we’re going to save as many as we can, but for now we need to focus on staying alive to create a plan to do that.”

“Seems like a lot of work.”

“Well, not everyone has atom bombs,” Victor mutters.

“Was that another joke?” you ask, turning toward him.

“No.”

✯✯✯✯✯

“Vic, Dol needs a walk,” Sydney says, looking at the book you found between two rafters in the attic. “He’s asking for a change, so he wants you to take him.”

“You can raise the dead, not talk to animals,” Victor argues, reading the last unaltered page of his parents’ second book.

“You don’t know everything about me. I know my dog, and he wants you to take him outside.”

“I’ll go,” you offer, chuckling at their antics.

You open the door for Dol, and follow him outside into the California forest. The trees are thick and green, and the new lack of pollution and population did wonders for the wildlife and scenery. Dol barks as he circles a tree, and you smile as you watch him run around, using up the energy he stored sitting beside Sydney.

When Dol is finished, he runs back in the open front door. Enjoying the fresh air and feeling completely hidden, you look up toward the light coming through the trees. The New World Charter headquarters feels like one of the floating cities from an old sci-fi movie: sterile with overbearing leaders; here, you can take a deep breath and be in nature again.

“What’s it like where you’re from?” Victor asks, joining your side.

“It was beautiful. Being outside, patrolling, was one of my favorite parts of being a cop, too. There’s nothing like this.”

“And the rest of the world?”

“The beauty is still there, it’s just nothing like it was before. Vic… I’m scared that even if we succeed, if the EOs take out Smoak and the New World Charter is dissolved, that nothing will really change. People will still be scared of what’s different, and the peace will be short-lived before another dictator slides into the opening left by Smoak. We can’t fight this fight forever.”

“You need a break. Thinking about it, the world and the future, every minute of every day is going to drive you crazy.”

“Which is something you know well, right?”

“Very funny.”

Victor looks up, following your line of sight through the green treetops. He’s enjoying the domesticity nearly as much as you are, but he knows the safety won’t last forever.

“Care for a break from saving the world?”

Smiling as you look down, turning your attention to the NWA’s most wanted ExtraOrdinary, you ask, “What do you have in mind?”

“Syd has been asking to see San Francisco.”

“Shame she didn’t get to experience the crowds and the smell of the wharf when it was actually in use,” you muse.

“A real shame,” Victor agrees sarcastically. “Get your jacket, and I’ll get Syd. Getting some air may even do you some good; maybe you’ll have a plan by the time we get back.”

“You’re the nerd here,” you remind him as you follow him inside. “You start brainstorming and I’ll procrastinate until the night before the due date.”

“I’m not sure that’s wise considering how many lives hang in the balance. An entire race is completely reliant on your ability to find a weakness in the NWA.”

“Haven’t failed a project yet, of ye of little faith.”

“Sydney, get your jacket. We’re going to see San Francisco... what it looks like when it’s completely deserted.”

“I don’t get an invitation?” Mitch asks.

“Someone has to watch Dol,” Victor replies.

“Do you want to go?” you ask.

“Not a bit. Have fun. Bring me a t-shirt or something.”

“Yeah, I’ll look for one that says, ‘I survived the San Francisco evacuation’ or something.”

“Perfect.”

✯✯✯✯✯

“Where’s the bridge? No, wait, the wharf! Ooh, or should we go to the square first?” Sydney rambles as you walk through the woods.

“The square?” Victor asks, glancing at you.

“Ghirardelli Square. You’re going to hate it, so if we find any leftover product, Sydney and I should handle it,” you answer with a wink toward Sydney.

“I’m an EO, not an alien, I know what Ghirardelli is.”

“Guys, focus!” Sydney calls. “Where should we go first?”

“Where are we from the bridge? If we get to the bridge and enter San Francisco that way, we can hit everything within a few hours of walking,” you reply. “But, Syd… it’s not the San Francisco you saw on tv or anything. It’s a ghost town.”

“Good thing we’re ghosts, then,” Victor adds.

“You’re telling me there’s no George of the Jungle here now?” Sydney pouts.

“Never should have told her about that movie,” Victor says to himself.

“Syd, just- just be alert, okay? We’re here to have fun, take a break, but it doesn’t mean there aren’t other people here. This is The Stand or The Last of Us, not-“

“Planet of the Apes?” Victor offers.

“Not at all the direction I was going, but sure. My point is that there may be people here, people who are hiding for one reason or another, or just got left behind and couldn’t get anywhere alone.”

“I understand,” Sydney responds, several steps ahead of you.

“Hey,” Victor murmurs, tapping your arm. He pulls his hand away at the sting of your skin on his. “Relax. We’re going to be fine. Then, when we get back to the house, we come up with a plan to take the world back.”

“And you said this wasn’t a movie,” you say, smiling before jogging toward Sydney.

✯✯✯✯✯

“It’s huge!” Sydney exclaims when San Francisco comes into view.

The Golden Gate Bridge is beginning to become visible in the dissipating fog, and the dark metropolis laid out below it seems larger than life. Most people now live in NWC zones, which are big and overbearing in their own way but nothing like the wonders that San Francisco and the likes used to be. NWC zones are locked down, have strict curfews, and are packed with more people than used to be legal.

“Thank you, Vic,” you say as you continue walking toward the bridge. “I needed this, and Sydney did too.”

 “We all did.”

“What are the chances we can actually find Mitch a souvenir?”

“In a city like this? I’d say pretty good; even picked over, there’s got to be a keychain or something around here.”

“So, this is what a first date with you was like?” you tease. “Walking around and talking about the mathematical likelihood of finding something worth doing?”

“I, uh, I don’t know.”

“Wait, Vic,” you say, grabbing the sleeve of his trench coat to stop him. “You didn’t go on dates? Are you kidding me?”

“Didn’t meet the right person, I suppose. At least not until-“

“Angie, right. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. Syd is halfway to Canada, though.”

You look up quickly, sighing as you see Sydney looking around a few paces ahead of you.

“Since the mathematical likelihood of me surviving this battle of ghosts and goblins,” you begin.

“Ghosts and what?” Victor repeats incredulously.

“Care to make this my last first date? I mean, my dating record isn’t stellar, but if I have to go out with one good date, I think this could be it.”

“Did you inhale a toxic fungus in the woods or something?”

“I already told Sydney this isn’t The Last of Us. Seriously, Vic, you said this little trip is supposed to be a break, a distraction from what we’re about to do, what we’re up against. So, what do you say?”

“You want to go on a date with me, an EO, and Sydney, an EO I found on the side of the road, in an abandoned city? I thought you said your dating record wasn’t stellar, but if the bar is this low it’s completely dismal.”

“Could’ve just said no, Vic,” you answer, chuckling as you move toward Sydney.

“I- life would have been a lot different if we had met in the old world,” Victor replies. “If this is what you want to remember if this doesn’t go our way, who am I to stop you from actually enjoying part of being a ghost?”

“Are you asking me out?”

“Will you stop talking if I do?”

You nod, and Victor points his chin toward Sydney and the growing distance between you and her. Rushing up the hill, you catch up with her and walk beside her, smiling over your shoulder at Victor as you walk across the Golden Gate Bridge into the heart of San Francisco.

“Where to after we cross it?” Sydney asks.

“We’ll turn left onto Beach Street, which will take us straight to Ghirardelli and then Fisherman’s Wharf,” you answer. Victor raises his eyebrows, and you add, “I looked at a map of San Francisco for fourteen hours straight while I was trying to find you. If it’s on a map, I can probably get you there.”

Victor shakes his head, and you fall into a comfortable silence as you walk. Sydney stops to look at Alcatraz, and you return to Victor’s side, smiling as you silently thank him for everything.

✯✯✯✯✯

As you walk out of Fisherman’s Wharf, with an ‘I <3 San Francisco’ keychain tucked in your pocket for Mitch, you ask Sydney what her favorite part was. Victor tries to listen to her answer but feels the unmistakable sensation of being watched. He slows, looking around but coming up empty. The city seems dead, and he hasn’t even seen an animal in the few hours you have spent in San Francisco. When you slow, though, Victor rushes toward you.

You feel it, too, but you recognize the eyes on you. They’re the same eyes you felt after faking EO deaths and the ones you missed after sending Rock away.

“Vic,” you whisper when he comes into view.

“I know. I can’t see anyone though,” Victor answers.

“What’s going on?” Sydney interjects, whispering to match your volume.

“Get her out of here, Vic,” you demand, moving your hand to the gun on your waistband.

“We’re not leaving you!” Sydney replies.

“Syd, this is my part of the fight. It doesn’t have to be yours. Vic.”

Victor nods, grabbing Sydney’s shoulders and steering her away from you. They disappear around a corner, out of sight, and you take a deep breath as you accept that you may never see them again. Tapping the keychain in your pocket, you hope Mitch can forgive you for not giving his souvenir to him.

“I got Vic and Syd back,” you remind yourself softly.

Turning slowly, you stop abruptly when someone steps out of the shadows. He says your name, and you immediately come to terms with dying in San Francisco. Sydney and Victor are safe and can create a plan to save the world, so you succeeded in helping one person.

“Daniels,” you reply. “I’ve been looking for you.”

“Not like I’ve been looking for you and the monsters you are so comfortable around,” he says darkly.

“What do you want, Daniels? You will never find Victor Vale, and he will take every single one of you out to protect himself and the other EOs.”

“I’d like to see him try. But, I’m not here for him right now. I’m sure you sent him away, running like a hamster on a wheel, stalled in one place.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

 “No.”

“Why’d you leave the Army to join a team of dictators, Brian?”

Daniels chuckles, pulling his gun from its holster before leveling it on you. “You are guilty of treason, punishable by execution at the order of the New World Agency.”

“If you were going to kill me, you would have done it already. What are you waiting for, Brian Daniels, retired U.S. Army Ranger-“

“Stop!” Daniels screams.

Smiling, you know you’re under his skin, getting to him by showing him that you know more about him than he knows about you. While he’s distracted by your comments, you pull your gun, holding it between your legs and the crate before you.

“You are under arrest,” Daniels yells.

“I’d like a lawyer,” you reply sarcastically.

Daniels steps toward you, and you lower as you hear footsteps in an alley. Victor is still close, and he needs help getting out unnoticed.

“Go!” you yell as you begin shooting.

Giving cover fire, you keep Daniels distracted as Victor and Sydney disappear into the shadows, where they feel most comfortable. Daniels ducks out of sight, and when the last shot’s echo dies away, he begins laughing.

“You’re a stupid, stupid girl!” he yells. “And you can’t take us!”

You don’t ask, but you wonder who ‘us’ is. Before you can think much about it, several NWA helicopters begin circling. When ropes drop from the helicopters and soldiers descend into San Francisco, you move backward toward an alley opening. If you can keep the army before you, you have an escape route and a chance of surviving. Your chances will never be good again, but the idea that you can run helps keep your hopes up, if only for a moment. Remembering that Victor and Sydney have a head start and plan to leave rips your hope away again. You’re alone, one woman with a half-empty ammo magazine against an army of trained killers.

Pushing your back against a wall, unwilling to be taken out from the back, you smile. You saved one, and that was always the goal. Knowing that Sydney is the one you saved and you were lucky enough to spend time with her, get to know her, and care for her makes what happens next easier.

A soldier rushes toward you, and you fire a single shot, watching as he crumples to the ground. His body armor should have protected him; yes, he would’ve fallen from the velocity of the bullet, but he shouldn’t have folded in pain like that. Raising slowly, you hear a few pained screams and rush to look out over Daniels’ reinforcements.

Every single soldier is on the ground. Most are unconscious, but others are screaming or crying, clearly in pain. You know what causes pain like this, but you also know that he could have done it from a distance if he saw them lower from the helicopter.

✯✯✯✯✯

“We can’t leave her, Vic!” Sydney argues as he pushes her into an alley.

“We’re not, Syd, I promise. But we need to regroup, I need a plan. If we run out there blind, we’ll all get killed.”

“Just hurt him, Vic! He’s going to kill her if you don’t!”

Your voice is barely audible, but Victor catches your taunt, “If you were going to kill me, you would have done it already. What are you waiting for?”

“He wouldn’t have come alone. He’s misogynistic, not blind. Daniels knows what she’s capable of, just as well as we do.”

“He’s hiding something?” Sydney clarifies.

“A big something, presumably.”

Victor begins to speak, but his words are drowned out by helicopters overhead.

“There’s his backup,” he hums to himself.

Sydney pulls Victor’s sleeve, pointing to the end of the alley. A soldier is approaching, and as Victor turns the pain dial, a bullet makes contact with his chest plate. Victor hides his smile, glad you’re not going down without a fight.

Rushing to the end of the alley, Victor extends his pain radius, turning the dial as high as it goes with no warning. Men scream, though most of them lose consciousness before the pain registers.

“Where is she?” Sydney whispers.

Victor weighs his options quickly before pushing the dial again and yelling your name.

✯✯✯✯✯

When Victor yells your name, you don’t hesitate to turn away from the NWA troops and rush to him and Sydney. You run into him, wrapping your arms around him as you hug him tightly.

“Yeah, yeah, glad you’re okay, too, but we need to go,” he replies, awkwardly patting your back.

You nod as you pull back, taking Sydney’s hand and running behind Victor. As you near the bridge, you call Victor’s name.

“We’re going to be visible the entire way across. Those helos are coming back,” you remind him.

“Then tell me what to do,” he replies. “Take a chance and go the fastest route, or stay here longer to find another way?”

“Can you do what you did back there to the helo pilots?”

“Of course, I can.”

“Then let’s go.”

You pull Sydney with you, apologizing as you run across the Golden Gate Bridge. The fog has rolled back in, and Alcatraz looks far more menacing than it did a few hours ago when you came into the city.

“Are you okay?” Sydney asks between short breaths.

“I’m fine,” you promise. “And I’m sorry I brought you into that.”

“That’s on me,” Victor adds, running ahead of you. “But now we have an idea of what we’re up against!”

“Vic died after using his powers for a while,” Sydney tells you. “I was worried it would happen again.”

“That hasn’t happened in months!”

“But it could? Vic, you can’t use your powers if it puts your life at stake!” you argue.

“It’s already at stake! I’ll die if I don’t, but I might die if I do. Besides, I came back every time.”

“That’s not comforting!”

When you reach the tree line, entering the forest, you slow, still moving but taking the chance to catch your breath.

“You didn’t tell me that, Victor,” you say. “I never would have asked for your help.”

“I’m not incapable of fighting for myself and Sydney and Mitch,” he replies, his voice dark and even, not unlike the night you met. “And clearly I can save you at a moment’s notice.”

“That is not the problem!”

“Then what is?”

“I can’t let you die fighting my fight!”

Your chest is heaving, partly from the exertion of running miles without a break and partly from your anger at Victor. He should have told you so that you could find a way to work around it. If he dies trying to save you, then you lose an EO regardless. Worse, you lose an EO that you care about.

“It’s my fight, too.”

“Move, Vic.”

“We’re not done.”

“We’re not moving and there are people hunting us! Move!”

Victor clenches his jaw before breaking into another run. Sydney runs behind him, and you bring up the rear of your team of misfits. Part of you wants to get them to safety and leave, but you know you can’t do this without Victor Vale, not the fight against the New World or living life after. You need Victor far more than he needs you.

✯✯✯✯✯

“Mitch,” Victor says as he walks in. “Get your stuff. We’re leaving.”

“What happened to you three?” Mitch asks, his eyes wide as he looks you over.

“Got into a fight for this,” you reply, passing him the keychain.

“I- thank you?”

“Daniels found me. He brought an army to bring me in for treason, but Victor saved me.”

“You saved me first,” Victor grumbles, clearly mad at you.

Mitch raises his brows, silently asking what you did. You shake your head before entering the room you’ve grown comfortable in. All your stuff fits in a backpack you found in a nearby storage shed. Once you’re packed, you sit at the foot of the bed and consider running.

Victor opens your door, steps inside, and closes it again.

“Do you knock?” you ask softly.

“I want you to tell me what that was back there. If you don’t trust me, there’s no reason for you to stay and keep putting Sydney and Mitch in danger.”

“Trust? You want to talk about trust, Victor? When you told me how your powers work, you might have mentioned ‘oh, and sometimes I die for a few minutes after using them.’ Was I just supposed to find out when you collapsed in the middle of saving someone?”

“I didn’t tell you because it’s getting better. Sydney found a fix.”

“A temporary fix from the sound of things.”

“Why does it matter? If it is fixed long enough to survive this war, it doesn’t matter. Either I die fighting or I survive and we find a better option after. Why is that so hard for you to understand?”

“I understand perfectly, Victor.”

“This is a weird way to thank me for saving your life.”

“I am thankful for that. But if saving my life is going to cost you yours…” You stand from the bed and step toward Victor, only a few inches between your chests. “Then let me die.”

Victor’s eyes remain on yours, pale, intense, and unblinking. “The question was about you.”

“What?” you ask, blinking at the sudden change in topic.

“That night that you asked if I’d use my powers on a good person for a better reason. You were asking if I’d let you die, or kill you, to win this fight against the New World.”

Licking your lips, you avoid replying.

“I apologize for not telling you. But if you want complete transparency from me, I’m going to need the same in return.”

“Vic?” Sydney calls from the hallway. “We’re ready.”

“And we’re ghosts again,” you hum, turning to pick up your backpack. “Thanks for the date, Victor. Sorry I ruined it.”

“Still the best date I’ve been on in a while,” he murmurs.

“And you said my dating record is dismal.”

Victor shakes his head as he opens the door for you. He’s grown attached to the domesticity, though he’d refuse to admit it. As he closes the door, separating himself from one of the few things that brought him comfort, Victor sighs.

You can tell that this fight will weigh on him, and worrying about you, Mitch, and Sydney will wear him down before the fight even begins. Laying a hand between his shoulder blades, you ask him to hang back with you.

“I need you to know that I appreciate you for saving me, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to,” you explain quietly, walking behind Sydney, Dol, and Mitch.

“You expect me to just stand by and watch you die? That’s not going to happen,” he argues.

“Vic, I’m a soldier. I made my peace with dying a long time ago.”

“Well, I didn’t,” Victor snaps. “I’m not going to let another innocent person die for this EO debate. I have lost friends and enemies alike, and I refuse to lose another.”

“Friend or enemy?”

Victor glances over his shoulder at you. “Equal.”

“Sounds like a friend to me.”

Victor sighs, internally glad that your personality is returning. He’s sure that you were worried, most likely about Sydney.

Boise. The sudden thought is unwelcome, and clearly not yours.

“Vic, if I told you we needed to go to Boise, what would you say?” you ask.

“I’d ask how you came up with Boise, Idaho.”

“What if I told you a ghost told me?”

Victor puts an arm out to stop you. “Is there a voice in your head? One that tells you where to go?”

“You have it too?”

Victor looks between your eyes and the crease between your brows.

“I thought it was just my intuition or something,” you murmur.

“My turn to ask a hypothetical,” Victor says. “If you noticed a pattern, that the voice was leading you into dangerous situations that somehow turned out alright… would you think they were related?”

“Are you asking me if I think the ghost is leading us where we need to be to win this fight? Putting us in trouble to get out of more trouble?”

“If I was?”

“Vic, I’m with you in this. Drop the hypotheticals and say what you want to say.”

“Whatever this voice is – a ghost, a shared intuition, common mission, however you want to define it – it is helping us. I don’t think our question should be about what it is though.”

“You want to know why.”

“You don’t?”

“That voice has led me straight to you, away from a life that I hated, so I- I guess I trust it. For now, at least. But, yeah, I’d like to know why. You’re forgetting a big one, though.”

“Being?”

“Vic, who is it?”

Sydney yells your name, and you tap Victor’s shoulder before passing him to talk to Sydney. Mitch trades spots with you, moving to Victor’s side.

“I told you that she was trustworthy,” Mitch says.

“You did. One of these days I’ll start trusting you, too,” Victor answers.

“Vic, this isn’t going to be easy. The pain and sacrifice we’ve experienced is only a fraction of what lies ahead of us.”

“I can accept that. I can accept a lot of things, but I refuse to let anything happen to the four of you.”

“And she wants you to?”

 “I don’t know what she wants. Besides the old world and freedom for EOs.”

“I’ve got an idea of what she wants,” Mitch teases.

“That you won’t share, right?”

“Right.”

As Sydney talks, you realize that the life you lost in the transition to the New World made way for this one. While it isn’t perfect, you like where you are. Being by Victor’s side, with Sydney, Dol, and Mitch, it’s good, even if it isn’t safe. When the fight is over, though, what happens then?

[ruthie0221]

I loved you enough to stay

Though we never made things official

I knew that you were my person…

Maybe we have.

Maybe by the time I show you this,

You’d have told me that I was worth it

I was worth every penny you spent

On me

On your flights to come here.

…So fast

I loved you enough to give you the world

Give you so much

I loved you enough to give you the galaxy

Out of all the stars I saw in the sky

The only one I wanted to look at was you

You made the next day worth getting to

You handled me

So well

I loved being handled

I loved being told it was

Okay

When my entire world

Felt like an asteroid was

Flying towards it

A million times per minute

Getting ready to make it

Explode

But you

You slowed it down

Even with it coming,

I knew you

YOU

Had slowed it down

You were gorgeous

I loved your hair

I loved the slightest tint of brown in your eyes

Your eyes were beautiful milk duds

Your smile was contagious

Whenever you smiled

The world stopped

Time froze

Ah, how else do you say it?

Your smile

Stopped pain.

Your words

Saved me.

You handled me perfectly when I went

Racing

Towards rock bottom

I’d hit it and your words

Softened the landing

That’s what you were

You were perfect.

I love how you never called me perfect

You knew that’s never what I was

All my baggage,

This big, BIG backpack

Just weighing down my shoulders

Full of my problems

Full of the stuff I’ve been forced to handle

Full of questions

That’s what you were.

Ever since we met,

I’ve been trying to figure out what to call you

I’ve been trying to figure out what inanimate object

I’d look at

And be like

“That reminds me of him.”

To others,

You might be a pencil or a wave

(Which you could definitely be my wave)

Something that’s crashed into me

Completely taking me under

Like the ocean,

Something I fell in love with

When I always ran away from it

I fell in love once I saw it

I knew I’d always belong to it

Because the ocean took away my thoughts

And the ocean would crash into them

And you’d never hear from them again

You were my wave

Taking the thoughts,

Giving me a moment of relief

Solace

Happiness

You were everything,

Especially to me.

Where was I?

You were like a breath of fresh air

Like coming up out of the ocean

And taking a breath of something you didn’t know

You needed

It was nice to have

Thought it was good in the water until I came up for you

I felt alive

“I can breathe again.”

Jaiden died and I crashed

I went flying.

The accident I got into only thirty six hours later,

That one hurt.

I missed you that week

Missed you so much

That week messed with me more than most

The one person I wish was there

Was you

“It’s okay.”

“You're doing great.”

“Baby just breathe.

I hung onto those deep words of adoration

And didn’t let them go

Shoved them in my pocket for when I needed them

I think that no matter how many times I saw you

I’d always like you more and more and more

You’re right,

It’s been a month

It’s only been a month

But

We had things between us

That would only make sense if they were between us

Where was I?

You wanted to meet my family

Never saw that coming honestly

I remember a conversation

I pointed out that you were afraid of having something real

And you agreed

But that conversation was enough to make me stay…

I think I was like the girl that kinda helped all that

You wanted something serious

So did I

I knew I’d do everything to make you happy and here

Even if I knew you weren’t gonna be here forever

I wanted to stick by your side because as long as it was your side

I was happy to be here with you

And so were all the rest…

Like Jaiden,

I knew he wasn’t gonna be here for a long time

Like you, I knew you weren’t gonna be here for a long time

But I stuck with you because I was happy with you

I was happy with Jaiden until he finally said goodbye

I knew I’d be happy with you until you finally said goodbye

Because you belonged in a special place.

You were always so patient with me

When I had no clue what I was doing

You were there

I liked you so much I could listen to your song forever,

But god I hope ours never ends.

[hoeheaven]

enjoying one of the best night’s out I’ve had in forever with some queer poc friends only to come down off that high when being interrogated by my homophobic christian mum really gives me the blues man.

[rcksmith]

All versions of you — Five Hargreeves

You can find the 3 request here: anonymous 1, anonymous 2, anonymous 3.

Resume: Years on The Commission made Five Hargreeves commit horrible atrocities, massacring his humanity and robbing his chances to belong to somewhere. Somewhere stable. But all the torture they put on his soul every day, was all worth when he found in that agency the one thing he knew he would love irrevocably until the end of time: You. But all that love hadn't been able to stop the separation when he returned to his family, when the breakup was inevitable and took the last spark of happiness from him. Forever. Surviving the end of the 1960s world, and finally accepting that a reality where the Sparrow Academy existed was better than messing up the timeline all over again, Five was prepared to find everything in that chaotic place, except the one thing that could bring him to his knees: You.

And like Ben Hargreeves, you didn't remember any Five.

Angst Prompts: 

8. “Why can’t you just look at me for one god damn second!”

10. “don’t touch me!”

13. “we can’t go back in time, so stop trying to reverse what you said.”

17. “stop making empty promises!”

Fluff Prompts:

28. “You’re not going to leave me alone, are you?” “Not.”

33. “I’ve waited for this moment for a long time.”

39. “You’re more than that.”

51. “I promised to love you forever.”

Smut Prompts:

19. “You’d better be quiet or everyone’s going to know what a naughty little slut you are.

27. “Can you help me with this zipper?”

75. “Tell me what you like.”

Couple: Five Hargreeves /Fem!Reader.

Warnings: arguing, swearing, mention of murder/blood, A LOT OF ANGST, fluff, smut, dirty talk

Word count:

A/N: Spoiler from season 3. I changed some details of this season too, but just to make sense of the story.

Because I have a lot of requests in my box, I compile 3 orders that are similar and put together, but I took care to added all the elements that were asked for individually, and made sure that all ideas were respected and written down.

We not tolerate any pedophilia here !! I write about Five with their 20s. I write the same about the characters of Harry Potter, MHA and others fandoms.

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are  OPEN. Love you ❤️

——–

There was a kind of evil joke that ruled the lives of Five Hargreeves, from their birth until now, 28 years later. He didn't believe in God, fate or luck, but the cosmic irony of his life was too palpable for him to totally rule out higher beings involvement. Beings whose greatest delight seemed to be seeing pain strike Five's Egyptian blue eyes.

His soul has always been constantly tortured. The relentless search for Reginald's approval and validation, the excruciating loneliness of the apocalypse, the longing for his family - or just the voice of an acquaintance - the brutal slaughter he had to commit to The Commission every day. Every day.

Five Hargreeves had known the pain, the deprivation, the loneliness, and the weight on his shoulders for all the lives he had taken. He knew by heart the bitter, pungent taste of blood on the roof of his mouth, the feeling of self-revulsion, the Herculaneum effort he had to make every day to push his traumas, fears and despairs into the dungeon of his soul to the very depths that he could.

That was all he knew. Until you.

Until you show up on that Commission as his sidekick. Just a girl to take care of his paperwork while he was in the field. Killing.

Five shouldn't have felt a new kind of shiver run through his body when he saw you. He shouldn't have wondered if you weren't the most beautiful woman to ever step foot in that universe. He shouldn't have been fascinated by the way sunlight streamed through the window and bathed your skin.

But in that moment, insane moment, Five Hargreeves understood Icarus' fascination with the Sun.

Nothing could unsettle Five's good mood whenever you were together. Not even when he met  your hot temper, your sharp tongue, mocking gaze, your strong, almost aggressive personality. While The Handler thought you were brash and difficult, Hargreeves thought you were wonderful. Perfect. He knew very well how to mask the turmoil inside him, so well that you accused him several times of being rude, surly and mean to you. But, even so, didn't go unnoticed to anyone the way that him smiling more easely for you.

Very quickly, Five knew that, like everyone who had a weakness, you would always be his. As long life coursed through his veins.

Hargreeves knew almost every possible human sensation, but the way he felt when you kissed him for the first, was superb, overwhelming. In that instant, as his hands tangled in your hair and his mouth melted into yours, Five knew that his soul would forever be yours. Always yours. He silently ask that you belonged to him, because he belonged to you forever. Until the end of times.

"You're everything to me." Those were yours words when you two slept together for the first time. And as much as Five was embargoed with too many new emotions to be able to utter a single sentence ,he pressed his lips to yours and begged whatever deity there was - for the first time - that he could convey in that kiss everything he felt for you.

You were the point of salvation in the raging, evil sea that was Hargreeves' life.

Time passed and Five kept you like a promise, an unspoken prayer to a God he didn't even believe in. He branded your name into his soul like a red-hot iron and silently swore eternal love to you each time his long, thin fingers brushed your soft skin. He worshiped you in secret and admired your beauty out of the corner of his eye. Like a nicotine addict, Five consumed you, filled his lungs with your heavenly scent and held his breath until his brain felt the effects of the addiction. Not even Reginald could explain why you made the ocean waves of Five calm like a prayer mass. You promised eternal peace with just one look and Hargreeves wanted to confess all his sins just so he could enter your gates of paradise after death.

Would it be a crime for a murderer to want redemption so badly? Would there be a timeline where he could follow you to the last of days? A reality where he wasn't haunted by the constant feeling that the villain couldn't wish for a happy ending. Not when he's already taken away so many other people's happy endings.

Was it a crime that he didn't want to smear blood your cheek whenever he touched that spot? Because no matter how many times Five washed himself, the red liquid from his victims would always be there. Invisible, but there. Always.

And, just as he knew what a evil joke his life was, the gods showed once again that their fun was to see him suffer.

“What's this, Five?” You asked him one night, holding an open notebook full of notes.

His notebook. With his notes of the calculations that he was trying to get right to get back to his home. To his family.

You felt a hurricane of emotions that clouded your senses, a mixture of sensations that made your ground shake.

You know that Five always wanted to come home, he's told you that himself several times. It wasn't a closely guarded secret and you shouldn't be feeling so...betrayed. It was petty and selfish not to want him to leave. It was wrong to wish you were enough, to make up for the absence of an entire family. You were aware that a relationship was not enough to have a full, completely happy life. And from the bottom of your heart, you really wanted Five to be able to return to his family. Everyone deserves a family. And you couldn't, and wouldn't, take that away from him.

But… but you wanted to be more than a consequence of his plan. Just a person he'd met in the midst of his mission to go away. You wish Five would see you as a life partner. You didn't want him to give up on his family, but to take you away with him if that was the case.

But Five Hargreeves wouldn't take you along whit him. It was always in his eyes whenever his family got into the subject, you just misled yourself into thinking that the time you two spent together might change his mind. Make him want you for the rest of his life. You didn't want him to give up his true life to stay and remain with you, but you would give up to yours to follow him to hell. If he asked. If he wanted you.

But the way Five Hargreeves looked at you in that moment, made it clear to you that he would never see you the way you saw him.

And it tore you apart.

You were too smart a person to know that his silence was an answer. “How close are you to coming home?” was just the only thing that came out of your mouth.

"Very close.'' 

His voice was like desert sand, and a part of you died in that hour.

“And you didn't bother to tell me that?''

This time Five frowned. "Why should I?"

Laughter escaped yours lips as an incredulous, mocking sound, and the hurt part of you began to turn to anger.

“Do you really think it's okay to come into my life and leave whenever you want? Without even telling me what hell is going on.”

“You always knew I would come back to 2019”

“Yes but…'' but I didn't think it would be so soon. but I thought that when the day came you would want me by your side. but I wanted you to stay.

In a perfect world, Five would have told you he wouldn't take you with him because the calculations were uncertain, dangerous, fatal. Not even a genius like him could accurately hit all the math that was required, the difference was that he was aware of and accepted the consequences of his near-fatal mission. Dying or getting lost in time trying to get back to his family has always been a very high probability, one that Hargreeves couldn't, and wouldn't, involve you.

Maybe that was love. The absurd desire, almost torn apart, of wishing with all his soul to stay with you until the end of time. But to give it up without hesitation when it came to your well being. Five Hargreeves might be a murderer, a monster and an executioner, but he would never put you in the crossfire just for his selfish desire to have you forever. And he couldn't give up his family too.

The evil joke that was his life once again found a new way to make him bleed. This time, in a way he never thought possible, in such excruciating pain that there, looking into the deep hurt in the eyes that meant the reason he was still breathing, Five was sure he would never be happy again. Not completely. Not fully.

He found love where he shouldn't have found it. And those months of paradise were paid for with his soul.

Five couldn't look at you anymore, and the sound of your angry voice at him was drowned out by the pain that welled up in his chest and spread through every part of his body.

“Why can’t you just look at me for one god damn second?!” 

He wanted. He wished he could look at you one more time and not feel that horrible pain. But Five knew that if he did that, he would see not only the reason his heart kept beating, bu also that he was hurting the one person he swore to protect. He wasn't strong enough for it.

But, the truth was Five Hargreeves couldn't protect you from himself. From the chaos and hell that followed him wherever he went. He couldn't protect you from the death trail he left behind. But he could protect you from the mess he was. And that's what he was doing.

"Things shouldn't have gotten this far." He didn't recognize his own voice.

That was no lie. He shouldn't have loved you with every cell in his body. He shouldn't have found heaven in you when he was always destined for hell. He should have been honorable and let you go when he first realized that you would be the spin of his world. He should have loved you from afar, in secret. However, like the cretin he knew he was, Five gave in to his soul's pleas. He gave in to the overwhelming desire to kiss you. Once again. One more. And when he realized, his naked body was already wrapped around yours several times, mixing sounds of sin and ecstasy, as he drowned in your body his heart condemned to be forever yours.

"Are you telling me you're sorry for us?" The pain and anger in your voice was too much for him to handle.

As Five got up from the chair he was sitting in, your eyes burned with a fire of irritation and smoldering hurt.

How could he?

“You know that's not what I meant.''

Fucking lier.

“But it sounded just like that to me.”  You hit back, as you always did with him. “You can barely face me and the only thing I hear you say is that we shouldn't go that far. What kind of sick game is this? Do you wear me for months and then discard me as if I am a piece that is no longer useful to you?”

Emotions overflowed your body in the form of tears. Fights with Five were always exhausting, he never let you in on his deepest emotions and constantly say something that tore at your heart. Several times you've wondered why you stayed by his side when it was clear Five didn't think twice about hurting you with something cruel. Why were you mad that he didn't want you on his side in another timeline? When it was clear that not even in this timeline he felt much appreciation for you.

Because you love him with every breath.

“I didn’t call you useless to me.”

"Sure. Because I give you good sex when you need to vent.” Your voice shook with crying.

"Y/n, that's not what I meant..."

“I know what you mean, Hargreeves.” This time he looked at you, but only for seconds. "It means I'm good enough for you to fuck me over at the end of the day, but not good enough to want to be with me in other ways."

That was a slap in his face. How could you think like that?

Five Hargreeves forgot that only him was aware of the visceral magnitude of his feelings for you. He forgot that his inability to express what he felt in words was much loud, because while he burned in a blazing fire of love and passion inside, on the outside he only let on a firm frown, a crooked smile and a longer look in your direction.

Five never said he loved you. And the lack of communication was fatal.

To you, who didn't know Five's real feelings, it seemed very clear from his actions that he didn't love you.

"Isn't that what I..."

But you had reached your limit. There was a limit of rejection you could take.“We can’t go back in time, so stop trying to reverse what you said.” 

That had been the mother of all ironies. Because he could go back in time. But apparently not enough to show you that, all these months, you've been the reason his heart is still beating.

Five approached you, almost as a side effect, but you nipped the action in the bud. “Don't Touch Me.”

"You know I didn't mean to hurt you in any way, I promised myself that I wouldn't.”

“So stop making empty promises!” You left his house, and Five didn't stop you. 

When the sound of the front door echoed off the walls, all hope of happiness was gone along with you.

The next day, Five come back to his home, his family, and he used the consolation that you would be safe on the Commission. Protected from the ongoing chaos that he was.

And it hurt like he'd lost the best of him.

------

Luther had the romantic heart and common sense of a banana. He took risks and changed his world in the name of love, happiness, passion. Every cell in his body pulsed with romanticism and the joy he felt in being in love clouded his rationality.

There was hardly a shred of discernment in that gigantic body when love was involved in the equation. And maybe that's why he'd been oblivious to the subtle signs that timeline was giving him when he'd been kidnapped by Sparrow Academy, and Sloane had introduced him to her best friend. All Luther could see was Sloane next to a girl who seemed to do her a lot of good, a good friend. And anyone who made that beautiful smile appear on the face of the woman he was in love with was already his best friend too.

Luther didn't realize the air sounded different. That the world seemed to hold its breath, as if it had just watched a plot unfold. He didn't feel any of it, because Luther wasn't sensitive to the little hints life gave him.

“This is Y/n.” Sloane smiled once more as you sat next to her at the gigantic breakfast table.

If Number One had been more attentive to the details around you, he would have noticed that something deep in your eyes looked familiar. But he wasn't the most attentive of the world.

The conversation took place calmly, as normal as circumstances allowed. Luther knew that to the people of that reality, the Sparrow Academy were a good, friendly, heroic bunch. Maybe his crush on one of the members was compromising his judgment, but Luther started to think that maybe his siblings only hated them for meeting under those circumstances. Perhaps, in another reality, they would all have gotten along and found something in common. Just like you were doing, sitting there while talking to everyone.

Apparently, you were a person dear to that family. Ben seemed to smile a lot more at you and Fei seemed less scary around you.

“So how did you two meet?” 'Luther asked you, as he stuffed a whole piece of toast into his mouth.

“She's Sloane's childhood friend.'' Fei said, saving you from answering by having your mouth full.

You smiled at Luther and nodded.

“Our childhood friend.” Ben corrected, and the whole family rolled their eyes.

“He's not always this grumpy.'' You told Luther as you gulped down your food, the kind, bright smile not leaving your aura.

“Only 99% of the time’’ Sloane joked and you both laughed.

The end of that interaction was given when Ben stood up and asked for everyone but Sloane to be in the living room. Leaving the two lovers alone, Ben asked you to accompany Luther back to his family when he left. Just to make sure he wasn't up to something or lying.

You would accompany the guy, but only to make sure that Fei's crows didn't do anything bad or that Alphonso didn't pick on him, but you wouldn't come back with information about the Hargreeves.

The dynamics of Sparrow's with you has always been very present in everyday life, for many years. And as much as Ben was extremely manipulative and the other siblings had their equally thorny flaws, over time you came to learn how to deal with each one, what each one was capable of doing.

"Whatever." Ben rolled his eyes, and was already turning to leave when he turned a few inches back in your direction ''But be careful." and he left.

When night had fallen and Luther was allowed to leave, you said you would accompany him to his destination. You didn't make up lies or half-truths, you said what Ben had asked you to do and your reasons for doing so. You weren't interested in the war between the two families, only your friend's happiness. And if being with Luther made her happy, you wouldn't be the one to get in the way.

The journey was smooth. Hargreeves asked almost everything he could about Sloane. And you helped by telling him the things she liked, what she didn't, her favorite foods and ways to win her heart. You always thought love suited Sloane, and you would do what you could to help a man who seemed genuinely interested in making her the happiest woman alive. She deserved it.

Luther entered the huge hotel first, carrying the gift bag Ben had given him. You should have stopped there and walked away, you had already completed what you came to do, you had already arrived at your destination. But something, an energy that raised the hairs on the back of your neck, urged you to enter that hotel with Luther, just one more step...

The air suddenly changed as you followed Luther toward a huddle of voices, and the closer you got, the more your heart raced, like a ticking time bomb. The hotel's mood turned red and rosy, as if the lights of the world were dimming, and there was something lyrical about the way the air swirled around you.

----

Five Hargreeves was tired. Tired of apocalypses, exhausted from having to save world after world, win fight after fight. It was as if he was constantly putting off the inevitable, pushing himself to the limit, using energy he didn't even have anymore.

He really needed that retirement that only lasted a few minutes. Five wanted to see the world, visit new places, but not for him…

“One day we could take a vacation.” You said one day, lying inside Five's arms, both bodies naked.

He frowned at your comment, and you didn't even have to look at him to know that was the expression he was making.

“I always wanted to see the world.” You explained. “But… I don't know, it's one of those things in life that we keep putting off, blaming work, tiredness… loneliness.”

"Where would you like to go?"

"All the places." You laughed. “To know even the stupidest things, like… how to know the biggest ball of twine in the world”

And this time he laughed too.

Five wanted to see the world, visit new places, but not for him, for you.

Maybe that's why Five was so angry with Klaus when he learned that they hadn't traveled for a vacation. Maybe that's why he nearly killed them both in a car accident to see that twine. Because…maybe if he did the things you wanted to do, he would feel closer to you once again. Maybe.

If he could just imagine your snarky comments, your boisterous presence, he could feel alive once more.

But he had stopped in front of that stupid ball of twine. Giant and perfectly round. He waited for some revelation, some sensation…but nothing came. And that was another evil joke in his life, tearing apart another piece of his soul shards. Nothing could replace you. Hargreeves returned to the hotel feeling worse than when he left, with a new end of the world knocking at the door, with more family dramas to resolve.

However, this time, something was very different.

He sought within himself that survival instinct, that will to fight, to stop another apocalypse, to see another tomorrow. Only to find nothing. Only for the answer come at him like a big void.

And he thought 'why?'. Every time they tried to save the world, something worse happened. And now that he'd had a taste of what a calm, normal life would be like, without you, Five found no motivation to keep fighting.

He was still alive, but he had left his heart two timelines ago.

“I'm back.” Luther's voice trumped Alison's talking to Viktor, and Five remembered thinking when  Luther had left.

But that didn't matter. And he began to wonder which things still mattered.

His hearing picked up Luther's conversations with the other siblings, but his brain wasn't processing anything. With his back to Number One, Five had his direction towards Klaus, more specifically to the whiskey glass in his hands.

He really should get fucking drunk...

“Sorry about the Sparrows, they really go overboard sometimes.''

That's when the Earth's rotation stopped. The world stunned in slow motion as every hair on Five's body stood on end. The completely stunned silence in his mind lasted only seconds, interrupted when his soul screamed so loudly that Five was stunned. The chords of the music of fate grew more agitated by the minute, like a premonition of the climax.

Five Hargreeves knew that voice better than he knew himself.

His body abruptly swung toward Luther, startling the other brothers beside him, drawing all attention his way. Klaus frowned as Diego followed the same action.

That's when his eyes focused on you. The symphony of fate reached its climax and was like an atomic explosion.

And, after a fucking long time, his heart beat frantically, alive.

His jaw dropped open, his eyes widened in an explosion of emotions and sensations. The glass Five was holding tumbled to the floor, shattering on a splash of glass and splattering the expensive alcohol all over the floor. There was some exclamation from someone, but Five didn't hear. He wouldn't have heard anything but you.

Holy damn shit.

His pulse raced wildly through his veins, heightening all his senses and turning life back on in his body that had been operating in automatic mode for far too long. It was like finally being able to breathe. Like hot coffee after ages of braving the excruciating cold. Suddenly, the world had color again, life flowed through his body and his soul thanked on its knees to gods that did not exist for seeing you once again.

If this was a hallucination, another evil joke, Five didn't know how he was going to recover from it. Perhaps he would never recover. His body moved, his powers being completely forgotten as he advanced towards you. Step by step. Everyone looked at Five in bewilderment, but he could only see that you were as beautiful as the day he lost you.

So are this how the devotees felt when they arrived at the gates of heaven? So this are like to come back to life?

Five stopped in front of you, his hands shaking and his heart pounding in his chest, as if it desperately wanted to get out of his chest to find yours. To touch you. He didn't notice your confused look, didn't notice that his own eyes were watering. Five Hargreeves just felt you.Totally.

“Y/n?” His voice was a thread of sound. Trembled, broken, conveying so much pain and despair. There was so much emotion in a single name that Klaus felt himself holding his breath and squeezing Diego's arm.

Five's feelings, always so well hidden and buried in the graveyard of his being, now consumed the entire hotel. Filling every floor, hallway and room with an intensity no one knew he carried. This wasn't Number Five meeting an old friend. This was a man finding the reason his life made sense again.

"Do you know my name?" Your voice swamped Five with more emotions, taking their structures brick by brick.

In other circumstances, he might be sad that you don't remember him. Perhaps, the fact that the moments you two spent together only exist in Five's mind forever now, will be cut him deeply. But none of that was important. None of that mattered.

You were there. Live. Standing in front of him as wonderfully breathtaking as the first time he saw you.

Hargreeves gave a broken, shaky smile, stretching his fingers toward your cheek, completely losing his breath as him brushed against your skin once more. It was like coming home.

“I know everything about you." He whispered, his thumb running down your cheek as the tears in his eyes welled up.

You didn't move, you didn't reject him, you didn't yell at him. Not like you used to. You just looked at him with a look that made his world spin again, a look with amnesia but that let him see your soul. And was the same one he fell in love with.

Holy shit.

"Okay, I'm not understanding anything that's going on here." Luther gestured with his index finger at the two, with the others nodding. “Do you know him, Y/n?”

Your eyes didn't leave Five's, absorbing all the emotions that blue sea revealed to you. You thought you had seen the love, the devotion, the passion. You thought the way Sloane looked at Luther was a look of love.

You have never been so wrongly deceived.

That was a look of love. That which was eternal devotion.

Five Hargreeves didn't look at you like you were a pretty girl, not like his were in love. He looked at you like you were the only thing that kept him alive. And that tore you apart. Because whoever that handsome man was thinking he found, it wasn't you. You didn't remember him, and you sure as hell wouldn't forget a face like his.

"I think you got confused." You said it in a whisper, as if speaking softly would change the truth, would make him keep touching you in that…careful way.

Your head instinctively leaned into his hand, as if already knew the way.

Five smiled again, his whole body burning in the heat of a thousand suns. "I would never get confused." The certainty in his voice took your breath away. "Not with you."

You could hear the rumble of his heart, and you could see that yours was beating the same tune, the same waltz. None of this situation made any sense, and you knew you had a million questions to ask later. Later. Not now, not when he was looking at you and touching you like this.

Reality could wait.

----

Five Hargreeves wouldn't let you leave his side after that day. It doesn't matter if you had things to do, places to go. That apocalypse was tearing people apart and he couldn't even think straight about the possibility that you were one of them.

It was unacceptable.

You had the answers to your questions, and Five gave you all of his time, explaining any questions, giving you his full attention. Treating you like you're the reason that he still standing.

The end of the world was knocking at the door and, looking at you once more, Five was sure that he wouldn't spend the precious time he still had chasing solutions or doing elaborate equations. He wouldn't waste his last days focusing on saving the world, on escaping to another reality. Not again.

He learned his lesson the first time. He understood that the priority should never have been going back to 2019, or keeping you away. His priority should always have been to stay by your side until the end of time. And that's what he was going to do.

"So I'm a version of your true love?" You said, sitting on the edge of a bed in one of the hotel rooms.

“You’re more than that.” he assured you with a firmness that took your breath away, looking at you with all the honesty in the world.

The smile you gave made Five smile too.

“Shouldn't you be trying to stop the apocalypse? Your sister seems to really want to change reality.”

Hargreeves shook his head. “I won't leave you. Never. Not again.”

Your heart was pounding, your hands were shaking, and there was something about Five that made you feel like he was something you'd found after many years of searching, even if you hadn't realized it. You didn't feel the urge to say you weren't the same person he fell in love with, to argue about it. Not. The end of time was coming and you just…wanted to spend the rest of them in his arms.

Someone's arms that your heart cried out never to leave.

And just like in past reality - even if you didn't know it - you would follow Five Hargreeves to hell if he asked you to.

And, this time, he asked.

"You can kiss me?" Your voice came out as a whisper, and you thought you saw him catch his breath.

Five didn't wait for a new invitation. He didn't wait for any more signs. His warm hands cupped your cheeks, his body leaned into yours and his mouth finally, finally, captured yours.

It was like living a miracle.

Hargreeves kissed you like you were the only thing that mattered in the world. He kissed you like sky was going to collapse tomorrow and hell was finally coming for him. His tongue curled around yours in a sensual, needy waltz as their hearts beat in time and their souls touched once more.

“I’ve waited for this moment for a long time.” His voice sighed against your swollen lips, still sensitive from the kisses.

Your hands came up to Five's shoulders and tangled in the dark hair at the back of his neck, sinking your mouth once more to his, as if it was impossible to stay away now that you tasted him. The environment took on a more reddish air, smelling of passion and need, the air had a tone of paradise and all of this was felt by both of you. The mouths now danced with more precision, the hands roamed the bodies and the troubled feelings clouded the reality outside that room.

But if Luther and Sloane were getting married, why couldn't you and Five get lost in the same seething madness?

It was the end of the world. And you would spend together.

His body pressed against you, and the heat of his ample chest on youe sensitive breasts made a heavy sigh escape your lips.

"You don't know how much I missed your sounds." His voice was muffled by the kisses that trailed down your neck, marking your sensitive skin with red prints and burning desires.

You didn't notice when you pushed his suit off his long arms, or when you helped him with his tie. When you found yourself, that maddening body was on top of you, glued to you, running his hands down your thighs as he drowned his mouth on your lips. The body-to-body contact was too much, too much for the arousal that was rising to alarming levels, too much for the sensuality the climate adopted. His fingers gripped you with possession, and you knew you'd find a print of his fingerprints as he gripped your thighs more tightly.

The hem of your blue dress had already bunched up around your waist, and you shifted your hips toward his pelvis, earning a loud groan in return and a hard bite to your bottom lip. His shirt was the third piece of clothing to get out of the way, and the sight of Five unbuttoning the white fabric was a show that made your pussy ache with desire.

You needed him. Just like he needed you.

“Can you help me with this zipper?”

Five flashed a sly smile that accentuated his dangerous features, giving you one last hard kiss as he knelt between your legs. His long hands flipped you onto your stomach in just one motion, pulling your hips up and pressing the cock covered in your soaked panties, drawing a loud groan from you as he pulled the zipper down your back. The piece of black fabric and the bra dropped to the floor along with the other pieces, and Five turned you onto your back once more as he returned with the deep kisses.

There was an endless list of positions he wanted to fuck you in, but right here, in this moment, Hargreeves just wanted full skin-to-skin, chest-to-chest, mouth-to-mouth contact as he entered you. Five needed to make sure, once again, that you weren't just a figment of his imagination. And physically feeling you, completely, was the only thing that partially soothed him.

He lowered his pants and underwear just enough for his cock to pop out. Thick, bloated and needy. Your  panties were pushed to the side, and Five couldn't wait another single second to fully enter you.

“Fucking hell” It was his groan against your mouth, as your drenched walls sobbed around him.

"You are too big." You whimpered in a whiny voice, your hips working to swallow him and trying to pull away at the same time.

“But you take so well.” His voice was broken, and Five bit your shoulder as he reached your end, slamming into the mouth of your cervix and drawing a loud groan from you.

Your head fell back, your nails dug into his back and your legs spread even wider in a pathetic attempt to swallow him without squeezing too hard.

“Tell me what you like.” It was a mixture of request and order, a sentence lost in half sentences.

"I like. I like it, I like it.” You repeated frantically, afraid he would stop.

“Thank God” was the only whisper you heard before he pulled most of his cock out and slammed into you harder. Again. And again. "Your pussy won't let go of me." he moaned against your skin. “God, you're still fucking perfect.”

You wish you had said something too, something that showed you were loving it as much as he did, something that expressed that he was perfect too, something that said you wanted him to be yours forever. But you couldn't, because Five picked up the pace and he beat relentlessly at that point that made you scream out loud. His long arms encircled your waist while your around his neck. There wasn't a single piece of skin that wasn't touching, and the only distance between the two of you was his cock moving in and out of your weeping pussy.

His name took the form of loud screams and moans, with the sound of bodies colliding and spreading across the hotel.

“You’d better be quiet or everyone’s going to know what a naughty little slut you are.” 

If you weren't already on edge, that dirty phrase would have done the job. You came in a burst of color, and your sensitivity was assailed by the hot, thick jets of cum that Hargreeves filled your pussy shortly thereafter. His cum continued for a few more seconds, and you felt your womb starting to fill with all the white load.

“Holy shit.” Five bit your neck, tightening his arms around you and pushing his cock even deeper, trying to force his way through whatever barrier was holding him back.

His new moan came breathy and hoarse, and you whimpered that he was still trying to push himself as deep inside you as possible, as if he wanted to mark any part of you as his. He seemed to want to make sure his cum had entered your womb, because his movements continued to try to push the white load even deeper. You brought him into a broken kiss, panting and slow, following his movements with your hips and holding back from giving him everything he wanted.

The breaths of two of you were starting to calm down, but your firm grip on Five's body made it clear that you didn't want him to leave you. And he wouldn't, even if the world ended now.

‘'How did I think I could live without you?'’ His confession made you laugh, your hands caressing the back of his neck as you sought his lips for another kiss.

“You’re not going to leave me alone, are you?” you said.

His eyes met yours, and the topic was no longer about sex or desire or need.

It was about staying. Together.

“Not.” This time, Five wouldn't abandon you. He would do it differently this time.

And he was thinking about that when he running his hand over your sweaty face, looked at you deeply as he said. “I promised to love you forever.” he never told you he loved you in the past, and this time he wouldn't make the same mistakes.

Five Hargreeves would stand by you until the end of time. Because forever is his whenever he is whit you.

[formula1neverleft]

No Time Like The Present - Daniel Ricciardo - Part 2/2

Read part 1 here  (or a big part of this won’t make any sense)

Pairing: Daniel Ricciardo x female!reader 

Warnings: SMUT!! (Yeah this is just...a lot lmao. It starts with a bunch more plot, then I blacked out and my inner whore wrote the other half of this bye, Daniel loving dirty talk is canon in this fic so be prepared), fluff, swearing. Please practice safe s*x yall!! 

Summary: Friends to lovers, you know how it izzz, also renault Dan for no other reason than he really does it for me yk

Words: 4K (I got wildly carried away with this one lmao) 

Author’s note: thank you everyone that interacted with the first part!! Every little comment means so much to me so I appreciate it. Really happy with how this turned out so hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it! 

Feedback very much appreciated, Enjoy :)) 

Extra’s: 

Song recs -> Forever & More by ROLE MODEL // Girls Like You by The Naked and Famous // Ribs by Lorde // Go **** Yourself by Two Feet 

Some posts that *inspired* me -> this is the china podium that is mentioned in the fic, Daniels laugh lines

Sunday October 11th 2020, Nürburgring, Germany

“Hey, Hey…look at me, what was that??” He asked while keeping his hold on your wrist as not to risk you running away from him again.

 “I’m sorry, I really don’t want to lose you, I shouldn’t have done that, Daniel, I shouldn’t have acted like this..I-“

 “Like what? Acted like what? Y/N, please, why are you panicking like this suddenly? We were just-“

 “I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified”, you interrupted him. There it was. Out in the open. Despite the circumstances of your confession being less than ideal, it still felt like a weight was lifted from your shoulders.

 Daniel finally loosened his grip on your wrist, and you took a few steps back from him, like you wanted to give him ample space to somehow digest your words. You half expected him to start apologizing for leading you on, for giving you the wrong impression, to tell you that the two of you were just having fun and you should temper your expectations. He should just get it over with, you thought, so that you can pick up the pieces and somehow move on.

But he didn’t.

 Instead, he laughed, he actually…laughed? It was his real laugh this time, the one you’ve grown so fond of, the one that reaches his eyes and makes the little laugh line that stretches from the outside corner of his eye down to his cheekbone stand out.

 “Don’t tell me you’ve somehow convinced yourself I don’t feel the same? What do you think that kiss meant? I would never throw away years of friendship for one meaningless hook-up, you know me better than that.”

 “But what if- “

 “uh-uh, no buts, I need you to trust me when I say that…Y/N,” he grabbed your shoulders with both of his hands as a way to really drive his point home.

 “Whatever you’re feeling, I’m right there with you, I promise. I’ve been there for a while.”

 You couldn’t fully grasp the weight of his words enough to form a verbal response that made any kind of sense, so instead you opted for just kissing him again. The kiss was different from the first one you had shared on the dance floor. Now, there was no risk involved, because he wanted you just like you wanted him. I’m right there with you. The words echoed in your head while his soft lips explored your own and one of his hand moves from your shoulder to the back of your neck, pulling you in even closer than you thought possible. There. It was comforting to imagine the feeling that you’ve been hiding from as a place, and even more so as a place where you weren’t alone anymore. Now, Daniel was next to you, and whatever this place was, it was exactly where the two of you belonged. Eventually, Daniel pulled away, but he kept his forehead attached to yours when he spoke up.

 “As much as I don’t want this moment to end, I am freezing right now, and I don’t really fancy going back in there after our little dancefloor performance.”

 “Take me back to the hotel, please” you replied. The tone of your voice implied that the moment was in fact far from over. Daniel nodded before taking your hand and leading you back to his car. He opened the passenger side door for you, but he stopped you before you could get in.

 “You sure?... I mean, you looked pretty determined about walking back, I could just meet you back there in T-minus 2 hours?” he teased. 

 “Okay, I have half a mind to take back everything I said in the last 10 minutes, Ricciardo” you challenged him back while laughing.

 “Hmmmm, nope. No take backsies, I’m afraid. You’re stuck with me now” he replied. You grinned back in satisfaction as you got in the car and thought to yourself that there was no one you would rather be stuck with. 

 //

 When Daniel and you entered the elevator of the hotel you were both staying at, it had been silent for a little while. There was a certain tension in the air, and you knew that both of you were waiting on the other to make the next move. Daniel pressed the nr. 5 button, which was the floor he was staying at. You were staying at the third floor, but instead of pressing the button, you let your body lean back against the wall of the elevator and turned your head to look at him. He was watching your every move, and when it dawned on him that this was you letting him know that you had no intention of going back to your own room right now, you could tell he was trying to hold in a smile that was tugging at the corners of his mouth. You’d seen that expression on him multiple times when he was on the podium. It was the smile he had when he won in China two years ago. You remembered watching him on tv getting on that top step, looking down and pinching the bridge of his nose while trying not to let his emotions get the better of him. It was adrenaline, disbelief, but most of all, it was happiness. Knowing that in that moment, he was exactly where he wanted to be. The knowledge that this time it was you giving him this feeling was almost too much to handle. It made a warmth blossom inside of you that expanded across your entire body. You felt it in your chest, your stomach, stretching out to the very end of your fingertips. You were suddenly overcome with a need to touch him, to have him close again.

 The elevator came to a standstill and the doors opened. Like a true gentleman, Daniel motioned for you to get out first, so you did. His room was just down the hall, and you remembered the number because you had met him there this morning to go to the track together, but you hadn’t been inside yet. When he held up his keycard and opened the door to let you in, you swore you saw his hands shaking a bit. Now it was your turn to hold back a smile, but it felt somewhat good to know that you weren’t the only one practically shaking in anticipation at this point. You entered his room, dropped your bag on the couch and took a moment to take in your surroundings. On the surface, it seemed like a standard hotel room not much different from the one you were staying at, but the more you looked, the more traces of Daniel you could see everywhere. His beats headphones on the coffee table, his open suitcase messily strewn about on the floor, the picture of him and his family that he always took with him on the nightstand.

 “I remember that day,” you smiled. “That was right after you bought the farm and you invited everyone up there to celebrate”

You walked over the picture frame and picked it up to examine it closer while Daniel slowly trailed after you. It was then that you noticed something else on the nightstand next to the picture. It was…a rock? You picked it up curiously and turned around so you were facing Daniel.

 “What’s this?”

 “Oh, nothing, it’s just something I take with me on race weekends, lucky charm, you know” he answered while running his hand through his curls. He looked almost…embarrassed?

 “Okay, I need the back story, there has got to be something you’re not telling me that has you carrying around an actual rock in your luggage” you retorted.

 “I told you, it’s nothing-“

 “Look at you! You’re blushing! Please tell me, pleaaase, I won’t laugh I promise, I’m just curious-“

 “It’s you” he cut you off.

 “What?” you replied, confused.

 “The day you got your scar, when we went to the emergency room together. I went back to the trail after dropping you off home and… took a rock with me as a keepsake. I know it sounds weird but, it’s a good memory for me, after I found out you were going to be fine, ofcourse”

 You were too stunned to reply, so Daniel eventually continued.

 “It was just…a good day, you know. We laughed so hard we almost cried after you got your stitches and had to ride on the back of my bike because you couldn’t hold the handlebars of your own bike anymore” he chuckled while recounting that particular day in your friendship.

 You felt the familiar sensation of tears threatening to spill from your eyes, but luckily you managed to keep them at bay. Your left hand formed a fist, and you pressed your thumb down on the scar in your palm. It had always served as a reminder of Daniel, and when you missed him, you would often find yourself staring at the scar and fondly thinking back to that day. At the time, it felt almost pathetic that it meant so much to you, but once again, Daniel had shown that it wasn’t just you.

 “Like I said, Y/N, I’ve been there for a while” he repeated his previous words while taking the rock from your hands and placing it back on the nightstand.

 Because of his confession, the sensation that had started in the elevator had manifested in such a way that not touching him wasn’t an option anymore, so you grabbed his hand and led him to the foot of the bed. You leant your forehead against his and leaned in to give him a chaste kiss while your hands found his shoulders and slowly pressed down so that he was sitting on the bed. With you still standing up in front of him, you used the tips of your fingers to trail over the side of his face once again, down to his lips as he looked up at you in awe.

 “Daniel,…” you wanted to say so much, but his name was the only thing you could muster. One of his hands clasped over yours on his face, and it was him that spoke up this time.

 “Tell me what you want, and I’ll do it.” It was silent again for only a few seconds as you felt your heart nearly beating out of your chest.

 “Take off my clothes. Please, just…take off my clothes”

 Daniels’s hand left yours and drifted to your waist before slowly creeping under your shirt, giving the skin there a reassuring squeeze before sliding further down to the button of your jeans. He opened the button and the zipper, all while still staring up at your face instead of his own hands. You were growing increasingly impatient at his slow pace, but at the same time the anticipation was turning you on more than you had ever been.

 “I’ve been thinking about this night for so long” he said while dragging your pants down your legs. You helped him by quickly kicking off your shoes and finally stepping out of your jeans completely, silently thanking yourself for wearing a cute set of black lingerie. If you thought that there wasn’t a sexier sight than Daniel sitting on the bed while you stood half undressed in front of him, you were in for a big surprise when he lifted himself from the bed, only to get down on his knees in front of you.

 “Take off your shirt. Can you do that for me?”

 You nodded and quickly pulled your shirt over your head and dropped it to the ground, now only in your underwear while he was kneeled in front of you still fully clothed.

 “What else do you want, Y/N?” even though he was the one on his knees, he was in control of the situation, and you loved it.

 “Do you want me to touch you here?” he asked while his fingertips ghosted over your bellybutton. “Or maybe…here?” he made his way down to the lace hem of your panties. The heat that had been building deep inside of you for the better part of the night was now pooling between your legs, and even when standing still, you felt how wet you already were.

 “Yes, Daniel, please touch me there, please”

 That was all he needed before he hooked his fingers in the waistband of your underwear and slowly dragged them down your legs. His hand trailed back up your legs, from your calves to the back of your thighs before he was at face level with your pussy. Before this moment, being this exposed for somebody would have horrified you, but the way Daniel was looking with such admiration was enough to let all your worries be thrown aside.

 “I can already see that you’re dripping. Are you gonna let me taste it, baby?”

 You had to keep yourself from letting out a moan at his question and subsequent pet name. The fact that he still hadn’t really touched you was becoming too much to handle at this point.

 “yeah, you are, aren’t you? Gonna let me taste that sweet pussy. Why don’t you get on the bed for me huh, want you to be comfortable”

 You walked around him and laid down on the bed on your back. Daniel turned himself around to face you, still on his knees, and pulled you closer by your calves before hooking your legs over his shoulders. Your eyes closed in anticipation of what was about to happen. If he didn’t do something soon, you might actually combust. Then, as if he had somehow read your thoughts, you felt his hot breath fan over your core. Before you could let out the strangled moan that was tugging at the back of your throat, his nose brushed against your clit and finally, he got to work. It started out with a few small licks to let you know he’s there, but before long he had your things clasping around his head while he ate you out with such conviction that you were sure he’s been waiting to do this for a long time. At this point, you had given up on trying to suppress the obscene moans that you were letting out, but your eyes remained tightly shut as you tangled your hand in Daniels curls.

 “Y/N, look at me, baby. Keep your eyes open”

 You obeyed and propped yourself up on your elbows to finally look at Daniel. The sight of him still in his clothes, out of breath and looking up at you from between your legs, was enough to make the familiar feeling in your lower abdomen start to build.

 “You’re close aren’t you? Does it feel that good? How long have you wanted this, huh? …All those times you visited me on the road, and we were probably each getting off to the thought of this just a few hotel rooms apart” he said while slipping a finger inside of you.

 “Feels do good, Danny, ohh fuck-“

 All it took was another finger added and his tongue brushing over your clit once more before you were engulfed by the best orgasm your life. Your toes curled against Daniels back, and he did his best to hold you down while you rode out your high.

 “So pretty, baby, you did so good for me”

 His praise made you feel even more lightheaded than was already the case after your orgasm. Looking at him, you wanted nothing more than to finally get him out of his clothes as well.

 “Danny, I wanna touch you, feel you, please”

 He seemed to understand what you meant, and stood up so he could unbuckle his belt and step out of his jeans. You could see how hard he was through his boxer briefs, and you were basically salivating at the sight. The thigh tattoos that had been the subject of so many of your daydreams, now finally yours to explore. His shirt was the next to go and before you had the chance to brace yourself, his underwear followed suit. Daniel always carried himself with confidence, just the right amount and never to the point of arrogance. It had always been so sexy to you, and as he stood totally naked in front of you it was no different.  

 “How do you want it?” he asked suddenly, and you were too dumbfounded to speak for a short moment. After regaining your composure, you answered with a question of your own.

 “Can I ride you?”

 “Fuck, yeah…yeah, ofcourse you can”

 He swiftly joined you on the bed and took advantage of being face to face again by kissing you passionately. The two of you made out like that for a while before you pressed against his chest so he was lying flat on his back. Deciding to not waste any more time, you threw your leg over his waist and sat on his lap, just below his dick that was flush against his abdomen and already leaking with pre-cum. You let your fingertips brush over it, and Daniel’s eyes screwed shut in pleasure as you did so.

 “Shit, Y/N, I don’t need foreplay, having you cum on my tongue was more than enough. Please, put it in. Wanna be inside you so bad, please”

 Having him pleading below you made you feel a little powerful, and you had to admit you were enjoying it. You decided to have mercy on him, so you lifted your hips and used your hand to guide him to your entrance. Slowly sinking down, the feeling of him stretching you out made you flinch slightly. He noticed and tried his best to muster up a worried tone while clearly drowning in bliss himself.

 “You okay?”

 “Yeah, not that your ego needs anymore stroking, but it’s, you know… big” you chuckled while moving up and down to ease him into you bit by bit.

 “Don’t worry baby, I’ll make it fit”

 His hands moved to your back and expertly opened your bra with just a single motion, letting it fall to the side of the bed. You hadn’t even realized you were still wearing it, but when Daniels mouth made its way to one of your nipples, you wished you would have taken it off earlier. The added sensation of his wet tongue on one of your nipples, and his hand carefully tugging and pinching at the other made you even more wet. With a final downward motion, your hips met each other, and he was fully inside of you.

 “Fuck, baby, feels so good. Better than I ever could have imagined” Daniel groaned in your ear.

 “I spent so many sleepless nights thinking about this sweet pussy, but that doesn’t even come close to the real thing”

 His words made you pick up your pace, and before long you were using his hand as leverage to bounce up and down his cock. The way his eyes were trained on your face made you feel enticing, but somewhat vulnerable at the same take. None of your previous boyfriends, if you could even call them that, had ever looked at you like that, and it made you feel seen in a way you had never been seen before. It was a reminder that this wasn’t just some hook-up, but two people baring it all to one another…in more ways than one.

 You slowed your tempo down enough so you were slowly and intimately grinding down on him, and you let your upper body lean back while putting your hand on his knees to support your weight. The new angle gave you both a whole new feeling, and the slew of curse words coming from Daniel let you know it was as good for him as it was for you. You have no idea how long you stayed like that, moving against one another while Daniels hands explored your neck and breasts, but you could have stayed there for hours longer if it was up to you.

 “Can we uh…switch? I’m getting close and I wanna be able to really…see you” Daniel asked somewhat timidly. You gave him a quick nod and he moved the two of you so that he could stay inside of you while switching positions. Once on your back, Daniel was right back to his confident demeanor and made quick work of finding a delicious rhythm for the both of you.

 “God, I just can’t get enough of you” he says while his head dipped down to place a few wet kisses on your neck and below your ear. His words paired with the feeling of him sliding in and out of your slick heat made the coil in your abdomen tense for the second time that night, and your moans became more desperate.

 “You make the prettiest sounds. I could listen to you all day. Gonna cum again, baby? Gonna cum around my cock this time?”

Daniel lifted one of the hands that were planted on either side of your head and trailed down to rub your clit. It was all you needed to tip you over the edge, and you dug your nails in his back while your second orgasm rolled through your body.

 “Good girl- that’s a good fucking girl, Y/N”

 He fucked you through your orgasm, and once you had somewhat recovered from it, it was suddenly too much as you were so sensitive.

 “I can’t, Danny, please, I can’t, fuck-“

 “I know, baby, I know. I’m close. Where do you want it?”

 Despite how sensitive you were, the inherent need to keep him inside of you while he came was just too big.  

 “Inside, please, I want it inside of me. I can take it, I promise”

 “Yeah, that what you want? Want me to fill this pussy right up, huh? Want me to make it mine?”

 “Fuck, yes, it’s yours…only yours, Daniel, give it to me”

 Your words seemed to be the final push he needed to get him over the edge, and with a groan of your name, Daniel spilled himself inside of you. Your legs clasped tightly around his waist kept him there until he had nothing left to give. He collapsed onto you and buried his head in the crook of your neck. You stayed like that for a while, only the sound of your heavy breaths filling the room.

 “Daniel, as much as I don’t want to ruin the moment, you’re kinda crushing me” you chuckled.

 “Oh, shit, sorry” he replied as he rolled off you. Now laying next to each other in the bed, Daniel took one of your hands in his between the two of you. You felt so loved that you wanted to scream, but instead you had to somehow hoist yourself from the comfort of the bed (and Daniel) to go to the bathroom. When you came back, he had crawled underneath the covers and motioned for you to join. You got in with your back facing him, and he immediately got closer so he could be the big spoon and wrap his arm around you.

 “Are you good?”

 “Never better” you replied contentedly.

 “Do you want to travel with me to the next race…please?” he asked.

 “Yeah, Danny, ofcourse I do, you’re kinda stuck with me now”

 “Guess Michael really has got a new sidekick huh, or will the two of you just constantly be fighting for my attention?” he replied jokingly. It earned him another playful punch to the arm, and it felt good to know that despite all the feelings and confessions that were now out in the open, he was still your best friend all the same. He was still Daniel. Your Daniel. Before the thought had even fully formed in your mind, a question made its way out of your mouth.

 “Do you regret it?”

 “Regret what?”

 “You know…that we didn’t do this sooner. That we were blindly longing for each other…wondering if the other felt the same”

 “You know what they say, no time like the present, baby. We’re here now…that’s all that matters”

[bonky-n-steeb]

𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘃𝗲

𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙑𝙀 𝙍𝙊𝙂𝙀𝙍𝙎 𝙭 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍

𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 || Steve’s life takes a quantum leap when he finds you unconscious on the beach.

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 || ANGST (with a happy ending)

This is the second part of six feet under.

I know I broke your hearts, so here comes the second part to mend it! I hope you love this!

“You are my mission.”

Steve felt as if the walls of his heart were pricked by a thousand needles. It ached too much for him to bear. Unable to look in your eyes, he cried in his own palms.

The Asset wasn’t built to show emotions, but you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion at the picture in front of you; your mission had just dropped down on his knees and was pathetically sobbing.

Why wasn’t your target fighting. You were informed that he was great at hand combat but not really outstanding with guns. So why wasn’t he attacking you as expected. Why was he showing you his back in surrender?

You were told what to do if the mission fought. But you weren’t informed what to do if he just... surrendered.

Walking close to your mission where he was crouching down, you stared at him for a moment. You weren’t wearing your combat gear, and neither was he. You both were instead dressed in far from modest clothes.

You didn’t know why, but you couldn’t bring yourself to harm him in any way. With the way he was trusting you, you could’ve killed him within seconds. But yet your heart somehow ached at his situation.

When he didn’t even look up, you nudged his thigh with your left foot. When your mission finally looked up, his eyes were bloodshot and he was incessantly crying.

“Fight me.” You said as he just stared at you. Your blank gaze terrified Steve more than any alien or villain ever had. You didn’t know why, but you wanted him to fight you. You weren’t able to attack him if he just gave up.

Steve blinked his eyes as he took in your words. Why weren’t you killing him? He had surrendered to you and yet you were just looking back at him instead of fighting. Why did you want him to fight you?

“No.” Steve had never thought love would be his weakness. Or maybe he had never truly realised it. Steve loved Bucky as a friend and had rained hell when his friend was in danger.

And here he had signed off his soul in your name. He would literally bring you the moon and stars if you asked to. And he would bare his throat for you to slash through. But he couldn’t possibly ever hurt you.

“I said fight me.” Steve Rogers, your mission was supposed to fight you. Not just sit down and take whatever you gave him. You didn’t know why you were angry at his lack of self preservation.

What happened next was within the blink of an eye. Steve’s arm shot up and curled around your wrist. And with a quick pull, he pulled your entire body down.

His agility took you by shock and before you could react, you were down on the ground pressed against the floor with him straddling you. Taking both of your hands in his, he pinned them above your head, making sure you were immobile.

You were royally fucked. Your handlers wouldn’t take it lightly if you messed up. And that was if you reached them in one piece. Chances were you were gonna die here, right under Steve Rogers.

You opened your mouth to bite and hiss and Steve took the opportunity and dove right in. You stilled with surprise when you felt the captain’s plump lips right against yours. This man was super insane.

You mercilessly but his lower lip and ended up drawing blood. But as soon as he started licking in your mouth with his tongue, you melted right on the spot.

The warmth of his mouth slowly brought back the warmth of your memories. Steve felt you go pliant under him for some moments before you started fiercely kissing him back.

You entwined your fingers with his and gently pressed your tongue against the bite mark on his lips. You didn’t notice the tears that slipped through your eyes and how they mixed with Steve’s own tears falling against your face.

“Steve.” You called his name just like you always did. With love and belonging. He opened his eyes to see you staring right back at him with your lively eyes.

Steve had never been happier before. Pressing his forehead against yours, he just breathed you in for a moment. “Steve.” Your hand was now caressing his face.

Your eyes peering into each other were enough to convey the million thoughts you had and the thousand things you wanted to say. Pressing a loving kiss to your forehead, he got up and you followed him.

You both sat on the floor with your legs crossed, you kept some space between you two. “I’m… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Steve repeated as he broke down once again.

You hushed him and held him in your arms until he calmed down. “I shouldn’t have done that, but… but I wanted to know.” Steve couldn’t ever forget how your face had morphed into that of betrayal as he recited the words.

“But I want to know one thing. Do you love me? Or… or is it some tactic of hydra to ruin me?” You wanted to slap Steve for asking this stupid ass question. Of course you loved him!

But then you realised where he was emotionally. If you were in his position then maybe even you would fear the same. “It’s real Steve. It’s definitely real.”

You framed his face with your hands and caressed your thumb over his cheeks. “Steve, I love you. And by ‘I’, I mean Y/N and Soldat. My soul belongs to you, no matter it’s name.

How can you doubt our love when it was the only thing that brought me back?” It was true, you wouldn’t have remembered anything if Steve hadn’t kissed you.

You could see the colour fill in Steve’s face. He pulled you in a bear hug and held you tight. “I love you. I love you.” Steve chanted in your ear just like before.

Once you were both calm enough to think straight, you decided to go out on the beach. You sat in the sand with your head tilted on Steve’s shoulder as the sea breeze kissed your wet cheeks.

“I barely remember who I was before all this Steve. I can only remember glimpses of the shield and the avengers. I’m no more the Y/N you once saw.”

Steve was silent as he listened to each and every word of yours. He wanted to say so many things back, but he knew he had to listen to you first.

“But I remember how they took me Steve. It was probably my third official shield mission and we had all thought that base was not active. But when we broke in, the operatives were waiting just for us.

It was trap and we fell willingly into it. The others managed to escape, but… but I couldn’t. And they took me Steve. I… I waited for you people.

I still remember shivering in that cold cell all alone, praying for you to find me. But you never came. And with time I just kept forgetting until I couldn’t remember anymore.” Your voice cracked yet you kept going.

“Even after you retired, you still were hydra’s number one target. It’s almost personal now. It took them some time, but they finally traced you and they knew you were alone.

I was supposed to use a boat as long as I was out of visibility and then swim till the shore so that you wouldn’t notice me. But I miscalculated the current and the rocks on the shore.

After I abandoned my boat, I jumped into the water and got caught in the water currents. It was a terrifying experience, just spinning wildly underwater as the water took you.

But I was oddly at peace as I thought finally I would be free. But then I hit my head on the rocks and got washed up. And I woke up remembering absolutely nothing in your warm bed.”

“I’m sorry.” Steve couldn’t ever forgive himself for all that had happened to you. He was sure shield must have tried their best, but he couldn’t help but feel guilty.

“Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault. I’m sure they must’ve tried.” You both sat quietly staring at the calm ocean which reflected the night sky.

“Do you still love me?” You asked with a dejected sigh. “I’ll always love you.” Steve replied pulling you closer. “Even after knowing who I am and what I was here for?”

“You could’ve easily completed your mission. I know you are capable enough of doing that. But, you did not. You couldn’t harm me even when I openly surrendered to you.

So yes, I still very much love you and I’ll stay by your side forever.” The last word pierced through your heart like a knife. You couldn’t give him what he wanted.

“Steve, I… I have to go.” Steve looked at you quizzically. “Where?” You gulped audibly before meekly replying, “Hydra.” You could feel his body tense.

“You aren’t going back there, no matter what.” You wanted to believe Steve’s words, but you knew that couldn’t happen.

“I’ve tried to run away. So many times. But they always find me. They’ll find me this time too. And if they find me, they’ll find you too and I can’t let that happen.

I won’t be able to live if something happened to you. I’ll never forgive myself. And that’s why I need to go.” If this sacrifice was going to keep Steve safe, then so be it.

“Nothing will happen to me. And if they come, we will fight them. Together. And nothing and no one can stop us if we are with each other. Stay with me, please!”

You kissed his cheek to stop him from pleading anymore. You couldn’t tolerate the man you loved begging you. “I’ll… I’ll stay with you. I promise.”

Steve hugged you so tight, you wondered if you broke some bones. But being in the arms of the man who loved you, felt better than heaven itself. It was a different kind of a feeling, one that no words could ever describe.

“Steve, what do you think about Paris? I’ve always wanted to go there.” You asked as you both sat silently on the beach, basking in each other’s presence.

“I’ve always thought about visiting Louvre too. But I never really got the chance.” Even as a sickly kid, Steve wanted to get mesmerised by the art in the famous museum.

“And what about Sydney? Or Amsterdam? Or Barcelona?” Your eyes lit up like an excited kid. “What about all of them?” Steve jested.

Steve wanted to travel the world too. In a sense he already had, but it was always for some mission and never for the sake of relaxation. “Yeah, we could do that!” You exclaimed as if the thought hadn’t occurred to you.

It would be a new beginning for both of you. A new life away from your tainted past. A fresh canvas to paint with the colours of your own choice. A much needed restart that both you and Steve needed.

“What are we waiting for? Let’s pack our bags!”

[storiesforallfandoms]

bloodlust ~ jasper hale;twilight

word count: 1754

request?: yes!

“I’m not sure if you do Twilight, but if so can you please write a Jasper Hale x reader where it’s just him coming to terms with his feelings and trying not to push the reader away just cause they’re human. Thank you no matter what love :))”

description: when she thinks he’s avoiding her because he hates her, he has to tell her his biggest secret

pairing: jasper hale x female!reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of death

masterlist (one, two)

I didn’t understand Bella’s extreme obsession with Edward Cullen after they started dating until Jasper Hale started showing me the same attention.

I had known Jasper since the Cullens moved to Forks. Or rather I knew of Jasper. Much like his adopted siblings, Jasper kept to himself or to the Cullens. It wasn’t until our English teacher paired us together for a project that I finally got to know him.

Despite the whole school knowing that Jasper and Alice were together, I started to notice that the way he looked at me, or the way he treated me, mirrored Edward and Bella’s own romance. And before I knew it, my feelings also mirrored Bella’s.

I felt on top of the world to have the attention of such a beautiful man. I felt unworthy, but at the same time I felt a sense of pride. And overall, I felt strong, romantic feelings for Jasper; feelings I was sure he had for me as well.

Until he started ignoring me suddenly. He wouldn’t talk to me, he changed seats in English class to be further away from me. He wouldn’t even look at me when we were in the same room.

“He hates me,” I said to Jessica as Jasper drifted past me in the lunchroom without acknowledgement once again. “I don’t now why, but that’s the only reason I can think of that he’d be ignoring me.”

“Or Alice has him back on her chain,” Jessica suggested with a shrug.

“He and Alice broke up a while ago, Jess,” Angela pointed out. “Didn’t you know that?”

I laughed as Jessica shook her head. “The great gossip of Forks didn’t know something? Mark the calendar, Angela, this is a historic day.”

Jessica threw her nearly rock hard dinner roll at me.

That evening while I was home alone, a knock came at my front door. Confused, I went to answer. I was shocked to see Jasper stood there, his hands shoved into his pockets.

“Jas?” I said. “What are you doing here?”

“I owe you an explanation,” he told me. “Care for a drive?”

I followed him to the flashy sports car he drove, one of very few in all of Forks - the others belonging to his siblings. He held the door open for me as I got in. He was in the driver’s seat and had the car started before I even had my seatbelt on.

Jasper’s driving was way too fast, and he was weaving in and out of the cars too carelessly. I was starting to regret my decision to get in his car. One hand was gripping the passenger door so tightly my knuckles were white. Jasper noticed and chuckled.

“Relax, I drive like this all the time,” he assured me.

“Somehow that doesn’t make me feel any better,” I muttered. Jasper chuckled again, which made me slightly annoyed.

After some time, Jasper pulled up to a hiking trail a short ways out of town. I watched him unbuckle his seatbelt and get out of the car. He paused, waiting for me to follow. I was starting to feel panicked and wondered why I had decided to go with him. Why had he brought me out here alone? Why hadn’t I told anyone where I was going before I left home?

We walked in silence for a while. I started falling behind, stumbling over the twigs and rocks. At one point I almost fell, but Jasper was quick to steady me.

“I forgot you can’t walk as quickly as I can,” he said. “We’re almost there.”

“Almost where?” I asked, but he had already started walking again.

We came to a clearing where the sun was just peaking through the trees. Jasper paused, looking back at me for a moment. “This is going to look silly for a moment, but know there is something serious underneath it.”

Before I could ask, Jasper stepped into one of the sunny patches. I gasped as his skin lit up like a diamond under light. He looked anywhere but at me, as if afraid to see what my reaction to this was.

I approached him slowly, extending a hand towards him. I poked some exposed skin, wondering if I was about to find out I was dreaming or that Jasper had never been real to begin with. His skin was cold and hard as stone, and I realized in that moment that I had never touched Jasper’s bare skin before.

“What is this?” I asked. “What are you showing me?”

“I heard you talking to Jessica and Angela at lunch today,” he explained, “about whether or not I hated you and if that was why I was avoiding you. But the truth is I was avoiding you for the opposite reason. I don’t hate you, (Y/N). I never could, but I’m dangerous. To you, anyways.”

I stepped back, feeling very uneasy. “What do you mean, Jas?”

“I’m not...human,” he explained. “And I haven’t been for decades. There are many names for what I am, but the most commonly used is vampire.”

I felt like the air had been knocked out of me. I was convinced this was some sort of practical joke on me, but I didn’t think any of the Cullens were capable of doing that.

“Are...are all of you...” I started, trying to find my words.

“We are,” he confirmed. “Carlisle found all of us and changed most of us. There’s a very long history about our family. I won’t go into it now, I know it’s a lot to take in.”

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked him.

Jasper stepped out of the light, his skin almost immediately returning to normal. Every logical part of me was telling me not to let Jasper get closer to me, but at the same time I trusted him. I didn’t think he was going to hurt me, I trusted him not to hurt me.

He reached out for me, but hesitated. Against my better judgement, I stepped forward to let him touch me. His hands were cold against the skin on my exposed arms. His golden eyes looked down into mine and I felt myself subconsciously leaning into his body.

“Because I feel something for you that I’ve never felt for anyone besides Alice before,” he told me. “And I know you feel the same way for me. I tried to distance myself for your safety. I’m still new to living with humans as I was the last to join the Cullen’s lifestyle of just feeding from animals, but I realized that was only hurting you more. I needed to tell you so that you could make your own decision about how you felt for me.”

He was right, it was a lot to take in. I had so many questions, but at the mention of Alice I realized there was one outstanding question I needed answered before we went any further.

“What about you and Alice?” I asked. “You two have been together...I guess basically forever. What made you two decide to break up?”

“Alice, Edward and I all have special powers that we developed after we were changed. Edward can read minds, I can feel and manipulate emotions - which is how I know for sure that you feel the same way for me - and Alice can see the future. She saw many visions that included you - most of which included the two of us in a romantic setting. I told her it would never happen because I loved her so much, but she was so sure I’d love you too. She told me to wait until we were paired up for that project and I’d actually get to know you, then I could make that decision.”

I winced. Knowing that Alice saw visions of her boyfriend falling in love with another woman - a human at that - before Jasper even knew I existed made me feel guilty.

“Was she angry?” I asked, my voice a whisper.

Jasper laughed, a beautiful sound that echoed through the otherwise empty woods. “Not at all. If anything, she was excited. She claims that you two are going to be best friends the way she is with Bella, and she’s very excited to have another female in the family. That is...if you’re still willing to be with me with...what you know now.”

I had to admit, the thought of the person I was in love with being a vampire was terrifying. Not because of the needing to drink blood to live - like I said, I trusted Jasper. If his or any of the Cullens’ desire for blood was a risk, they wouldn’t be living amongst humans. But the thought of growing old while Jasper remained the same age forever, of him eventually not wanting to be with me because of that age difference was terrifying. And the alternative...I didn’t want to consider that right now.

I moved closer to Jasper. He moved his hands to my waist, pulling me so that my body was touching his. Our lips were inches away, and I finally leaned in to close the gap between us.

His lips, much like the rest of his body, were cold, but I felt a sensation when kissing him that I had never felt before. I placed a hand against his face, gently stroking his hard skin as our lips moved perfectly together. His grip around my waist tightened a little, but not enough to hurt me. It felt more like he was making sure I wouldn’t disappear on him.

I pulled away first, resting my forehead against his. “I hope that gives you your answer.”

He smiled and I felt a happy sensation wash over me. I remembered he said he could manipulate the emotions of others and I wondered if his happiness was so strong that it was effecting me as well, or if he wanted me to know how happy he felt.

“We should get you home,” he said. “Your parents will probably be worried sick if they come home and you’re missing.”

“You’re right,” I said. I reluctantly pulled him his grasp, but took his hand in mine as we walked back to the car. “But can you not drive like a maniac on the way home? I’d rather not die of a heart attack in your car.”

Jasper chuckled. “No promises. One thing you have to learn about vampires, we love to go fast.”

[keichan]

Firsts with Sakusa Kiyoomi

A collections of firsts with Sakusa Kiyoomi

A/N: 

I’ve had the idea of this story in my drafts forever now, but I sat down yesterday and finally brought it to life! I have never wrote for Sakusa before, but I hope that you guys enjoy my personification of him!

word count: 7.2k!

warnings: vomiting, nsfw content that will be italicized, swearing?

Please interact with this story! I’m restarting my blog back up and I lost a lot of moots! Send me asks and whatnot!

The first time you saw Sakusa Kiyoomi was when he silently strolled down the hallway in elementary school. He had a blank stare at all times. Never strayed too close to any of the other children. A gloomy looking child that you did not particularly want to approach. His hands remained glued to his side and looked to be sulking. He blended into the crowd but if you paid enough attention, he barely stood out. He crossed your mind for the slightest second before you were sucked back into conversation with your friends.

-

The first time you heard his voice was when he was talking to another boy in your grade level. Who you found out was his cousin. Their interaction was quiet and somewhat dull. His cousin, Motoya, asked if he wanted to go to an after school activity with him. Sakusa nodded briefly and said “sure”. His voice was quiet and bored. You wondered as you walked past the boys what they were talking about, however, you were quickly distracted yet again and proceeded to move forward without a second thought.

-

The first interaction between the two of you was your third year of middle school. Sakusa Kiyoomi was nothing but a background character in your life. You ever so often saw him since the two of you were in different classes. However, you shared a class with Motoya so it wasn’t too rare to see the boy. 

You walked out of class upon dismissal, but hung around campus with your friends, knowing that your parents were at work and it was redundant to return so early. It was an unanimous decision to go to the convenience store outside of campus to grab a quick bite with the chore money that took a few weeks to rack up.

Walking outside of the gym a volleyball rolled to your feet. You picked it up before looking to your right to see who it belonged to. Sakusa Kiyoomi walked calmly over to you with his  hands  at  his side.  There was no one else in the gym. He was playing by himself.

He came to a halt, looking at you expectedly. You fidgeted the ball in your palms before asking. “Are you practicing all alone?”  He nodded curtly with a deadpan expression that said give me the ball. 

“I see.” You tossed him the ball gently before following your friends that have already walked ahead. 

At the convenience store you grabbed things you thought Sakusa may have liked.

“Why are you grabbing so much? Also, I thought you didn’t like daifuku.” Aya commented as she browsed the shelf next to you. Your nose scrunched up. “I’m just craving it.” You shrugged her off. She didn’t reply as she grabbed a carton of apple juice. 

All of you checked out and parted ways in front of the store. It wasn’t long before you peeked your head into the gym to see Sakusa slamming  the ball against the wall continuously. He was roughly the same height as you, but each time he struck the ball, there was an undeniable force behind it. 

You took your shoes off, outside of the gym before clearing your throat nervously.

The boy caught the ball as it ricocheted off the wall. His black curls stuck messily to his forehead and he turned to you with a confused expression. Holding up the plastic bag with one hand,  you offered him a small smile. 

“Looked like you were working hard, so I brought this for you.” 

He blinked at you. Not a word. 

“I can just leave it somewhere if you’d like. I just have to-”

“I was actually getting kind of hungry.” He said quietly. He walked to the edge of the gym and sat down. You followed his lead quietly. Upon sitting down, you opened the bag,  preparing to dump  everything on the floor before he raised a hand to stop you. 

“The floor is rather dirty, I would prefer you not to do that.” He said plainly “Please.” he added. You nodded and opened the bag towards him so he could get his pick. Luckily for you he went straight for the daifuku. He meticulously unwrapped it and began to munch silently. You followed suit and you began to eat a custard-filled bread roll. 

“Sakusa, right?” You turned your head to the boy. “Kyosuke?” You faltered.

He shook his head. “Kiyoomi. And you?”

“L/N F/N.” You answered. He dipped his head in acknowledgement. 

“What high school are you going to try to go to?” 

“Itachiyama.”

“Really? I want to go there as well. Maybe we can study together for the entrance exams together.”

“I’m going to get in on a sports recommendation since I’m on the volleyball team here.” He said nonchalantly as he flattened the snack’s wrapper on his thigh. You nodded. His curtness didn’t particularly bother you. 

“Fair enough.” You brushed off your skirt and began to make an exit towards the gym. You began to slip your shoes on outside of the door before waving over to him. “Let me know if you change your mind about studying. I’m in the same class as your cousin. Keep the rest of the snacks. Work hard.”

-

Roughly two weeks later Sakusa Kiyoomi was waiting outside of class 3-B. Ignoring Motoya he approached you. “Let’s study for entrance exams.” Motoya looked at you oddly and tailed the two of you as Sakusa lead you to the library in silence.

You sat in front of the curly haired boy, pulling out your journals and folders excitedly sliding them towards Sakusa. Motoya sat beside him, earning a subtle glare from Kiyoomi.

“I looked at everything they’ve made available for students who are applying, organized it, and color coded it. I have a plan to get in. 

Sakusa carefully eyed over your notes as he skimmed the pages. Your handwriting was incredibly neat. Everything was so organized that even an idiot could get into Itachiyama. Not that he was thinking that you were stupid by any means.

That was the first time you saw Sakusa smile because of you.

-

It was now your first year at Itachiyama Academy. You walked through the gates of the school sandwiched between Sakusa and Motoya. Somehow the three of you managed to be in the same class.

As the semester progressed, you began to settle in a routine with the boys. You would sit at practices, reading books. After they finished, you would all study at someone’s house and part ways. 

It was dipping into the summer. Tokyo subtly rose in temperature as the rainy season commenced. 

Sakusa stood outside of your home with an umbrella since he was fully aware that you refused to bring one to school any time that it rained. He looked down to his cellphone. You were always punctual so it didn’t make sense to him that you weren’t outside yet. He knocked on the front door to your family home. No answer.

He used the spare key under the plant to go inside. He propped the umbrella against the door and took his shoes off before making his way upstairs. You weren’t in your bed but he could hear someone gagging in the bathroom.

His face contorted into disgust at the thought, but proceeded towards the room. He opened the bathroom door to see you hunched over the toilet. Your hair pooled over your shoulders going forward as you choked on your own vomit. Sobs quietly echoed the room. 

He cautiously moved forward and gathered your hair in his hand. He turned his head away from your body to cover his distaste for the situation that he found himself in.  You jumped startled in place before you started vomiting again. 

“Sorry, I didn’t text you. I’ve been here for hours.” Your voice was incredibly weak.

“I wish you took care of yourself. Then things like this wouldn’t happen. Where are your parents?”

“I don’t know.” Your voice croaked. Sakusa flinched at that. He knew the feeling all too well.

“You know if you used an umbrella in the rain you wouldn’t get sick. Plus you’ve been pulling all nighters with school for no reason. Stop overexerting yourself.”

“Shut up.” You groaned. “Go to school. I’ll take care of myself.”

He rolled his eyes. He grabbed a hair tie from under your sink and tied your hair back to the best of his ability before leaving the room. Going downstairs he began to make hot green tea with honey, a glass of water, and cut up an apple, your favorite fruit, and grabbed a mask out of his backpack and put it on before returning to the bathroom. You were leaning against the wall, your features were flushed as beads of sweat developed along your forehead.

Sakusa sighed as he squatted in front of you. 

“Drink this. Rehydrate. Put some food in your stomach.” 

“Go to school Sakusa.” You muttered as you placed the cup to your lips gently.

Sakusa began washing his hands into the sink, ignoring you.

“You ought to go lie down so your body can repair itself.” He turned around before gathering the cups and the bowl of fruit from you. He placed it on your bedside table before he felt a weight collide with his back. He turned suddenly to catch your body.

“Sorry, I must be really weak right now.” A laugh barely escaped your lips. You were face to face with him as he supported you up. All he did was nod before he gently lowered you onto the bed, placing you under the sheets.

He walked over to the bathroom and found a small towel. A sigh of exasperation escaped his lips. He already had known that you were overdoing it academically, but now it finally showed physically. He didn’t understand you sometimes.

He returned to your room once more to see that you were out cold. He used the cloth to gently dab the sweat off of your face before folding it inside out and resting it on your forehead entirely. Sakusa supposed that it would be alright to skip school that day to help his friend out.

“Thanks, Kiyoomi.” The words poured quietly from your lips. His head jerked up suddenly

That was the first time you didn’t call him by his surname.

-

“Okay hear me out. Yes, you’re insanely talented at volleyball. No, I am not telling you how to play, BUT I think that if you approach the AB attack that you guys have been working on this way, I think that you can achieve it somewhat better.” You shoved your diagram that you drew out to Kiyoomi. His eyes scanned over everything. You flipped the page in front of him. 

“This is the way that you’ve been doing it, but I think that with your spiking range, you wouldn’t have to exert yourself and overextend yourself from this side of the court.”

Sakusa laughed pulling your notebook closer to himself. 

“This is actually genius. How did you know I couldn’t get it?”

“You’ve been spending more time practicing solo than normal so I just paid a little more attention when I’ve been able to come in and watch.”

“I really appreciate this! Do you mind?” You shook your head. “It’s all yours. I have some other ideas in there as well since nationals are coming up.”

He giddily slid it into his backpack before checking his phone. 

“Shit. I didn’t realize how late it was. The subways are probably packed by now.” He groaned.

You slung your bag over your shoulder. The crowds outside were moving meticulously outside. A sigh escaped your lips. You turned to Sakusa as he hooked a mask over each ear with a gloomy expression.

The two of you walked out of the cafe and headed towards the JR line. The crowd was astonishingly hard to walk through. Well, it was easy for Saksua since he could see over the sea of people. You reached out for his sleeve and managed to grab his hand. He looked back and gave you a weary acknowledgement and continued to tread forward. You barely managed to get into the train car with him. Your fingers tangled with his as you were shoved into his side. You looked up to see his eyebrows furrowed and expression darkened.. This definitely isn’t the first time that Saksusa had been unfortunate enough to get on the trains with rush hour. 

“You good, Kiyoomi?” You tugged on his arm gently as you whispered. He nodded looking down at you. A man beside you accidentally shoved you forward. Sakusa quickly laced his fingers in yours before he anchored you back to his side. You squeeze his hand gently as a quiet thanks.

In roughly ten minutes the doors opened to your stop. Sakusa led the way, weaseling the two of you outside of the train station. He let out a sigh of relief as he climbed the stairs onto the open street.

“Much better.” he mumbled. You absentmindedly followed him to his house as he continued to hold your hand.

“Kiyoomi, you know you can go ahead and let go now.” He froze in his tracks and looked down to your hands and returned his gaze to your face.

“Apologies.” He said before he let go. His hand returned to his side.

“I think I’m going to call it a night here. I’m going to Motoya’s to study the notes. I’ll text you if I have any questions.” He raised a hand to bid farewell and walked to the direction of his home. 

Your eyes traveled down to the palm of your hand. You studied it. Each finger as you rotated it. With a subtle shrug, you turned to the opposite direction and made your way home.

That was the first time you held hands with Sakusa Kiyoomi.

-

“What do you mean I can’t braid your hair for a game? It’s getting longer and it would look adorable. Right, Motoya?” You twirled one of Sakusa’s curls gently in your finger. Motoya glanced up from his phone laughing. 

“I don’t see why not.”

“ Don’t support her. You’re going to make her think that she’s unstoppable.” Sakusa groaned and thudded his head against the table. 

“Can I do it for fun though?” You whined as your ran your hands through his hair.

He sunk in his chair in defeat. “Fine.”

You excitedly stood up and got to work. 

After a few minutes you were finished. His hair was barely short enough for it to stick into a little poof in the back. You quickly took out your phone and snapped a quick selfie with your back camera. You laughed at the photo as Sakusa grabbed at it.

“I didn’t know that you were going to take a picture of me, you ass! Delete it!” 

“Nah, this is too good! Kiyoomi I really think you should do this for a game! You look precious!”  

You quickly ran over to the couch next to Motoya, showing him the off guard picture you got of the two of them. The two of you were in hysterics. Sakusa ran over to the couch to join the two of you. Placing an arm around your shoulder he broke into laughter as well.

Lose hair flowed on the sides of his face. His eyes squinted shut as his laughs filled the room.

“You ought to delete that picture though, seriously.”

You shook your head at him. 

“This is too good. I might just send it to your whole team.”

“Don’t even think about it.”

After some time, the three of you settled down and watched a movie. You rested your head on his shoulder. His arm never left your side. The three of you passed out cold. 

Motoya’s mother laughed at the view she had of the three of you as she took her shoes out of the door. Her own son was sprawled out on the end of the couch, snoring the night away. Kiyoomi’s head rested on the couch. Tufts of hair were popping out of the braid. His arms loosely wrapped around you. Your head rested against his chest and your arms rested around his stomach.

She laughed quietly to herself, leaving the kids to sleep.

This was the first time that you fell asleep on Sakusa Kiyoomi.

-

“What do you mean that you didn’t have a good time at the camp? It’s literally for the Olympics!” You had your hands on your hips as you stared at Saksua. He sulked in your kitchen chair. He came over as soon as he had gotten back from camp.

“I do not understand how Shiratorizawa lost. Kageyama Tobio wasn’t necessarily an extraordinary feat to watch-”

“You do understand that there’s a reason why he got invited there as well, right?”

“I’m trying to be realistic here.”

“Well since both schools are going to nationals, maybe you can play them in the bracket. You’re the number two ace in the country because you worked hard Kiyoomi. I don’t care if some brat from Miyagi rubbed you the wrong way. You need to get over it and do your best. You and Motoya leave in two weeks.”

The two of you had spent the last hour bickering of his experience. Sakusa had a negative thing to say about almost every player that was there.

“If I want to analyze my potential opponent then I think you should allow me to. You’re not playing on the court whatsoever so I think you should keep your opinions to yourself about this situation.”

“Kiyomi, I’m literally the one who has helped you get to where you are now. I’ve spent hours of my own freetime, even getting physically ill coming up with ways to help you and Motoya improve your skills to be better players-”

“But nobody asked you to do that.” He glared at you. You falter at what to say next.

“I did it because you two are my friends. And I want you to succeed.” Each word articulated from your mouth excruciatingly slow. As if you were questioning yourself.

“You have a lot to say for someone who has never played the game before.” Sakusa snapped at you.

“Get out.” 

“What?”

“Get out of my house. You do not talk to me like that here.” You made your way to the front door, holding it open.

“Out Kiyoomi.”

“I think we’re having a little miscommunication.” He rose from his chair. He hands beared out to you as he stepped towards you cautiously.

“No. Grab your bag. Put your shoes on and leave. I understood with clarity everything you just said to me. Now I’m asking you to leave. You said everything you wanted to.”

Sakusa’s head did not hang low as your gaze pierced through him. He slung his back over his shoulder and walked towards you. His height towered over you before he bent down, slipping his shoes over his heels.

He walked out without another word. 

That was the first fight you had with Sakusa Kiyoomi.

-

In the next two weeks you didn’t walk to school with the boys, you did not study with them, you did not watch practice, you didn’t use breaks at school to visit their classrooms. Anytime Motoya had reached out, you politely avoided him. If Sakusa did it was like he wasn’t even there.

Nationals were now upon the boy’s volleyball team. You followed the group solemnly to the bus.  You had signed up as an official volunteer and there wasn’t any way to necessarily get out of it since you had already been excused from the school days.

You sat alone on the bus. Far away from your two friends. The ride was short. Upon arrival, you carried the medical bag to the team’s designated area for the day.

It was a clash of teams mingling at the entrance of the arena. Not one member of the team had made it to the area yet. You turned to see Sakusa’s standing in the corner of the room. His forehead creased and his chin tucked towards his chest. There were too many people for him. Motoya was mingling with random  teams. You let out a small sigh and made your way to the designated area. 

A hand gently rested on your shoulder.

“Can we talk?” Kiyoomi asked. He towered over you in height. You couldn’t see his face due to the mask, but he radiated stress. You nodded and sat next to him in the hallway.

The apology was quick, sweet, and straight to the point. You graciously accepted and it wasn’t any worry at all. 

You could never truly be mad at him.

You continued to help the boy’s volleyball team until they lost the tournament.

You waited on the side of the court for the boys to come off. However, Sakusa was approached by fans and reporters. 

You stood patiently on the other side of the toom. The opposing team’s captain approached you. He shyly flirted with you. Sakusa watched from afar as he continued to chat with the reporter. 

This was the first time Sakusa Kiyoomi felt jealousy.

-

You, Kiyoomi, and Motoya stood side by side posing for pictures for your families. High school diplomas proudly in hand.

Kiyoomi graciously slipped away from everyone for a brief moment. His parents were fawning over the fact that he got accepted into college on a sports scholarship. Same with Motoya. Your parents were openly wondering what college you would choose to go to. You got accepted to five different ones, one of them the same as Kiyoomi.

You and Motoya bid your parents a farewell and began to leave the school together for one last time. Kiyoomi stood at the gates waiting patiently for the two of you. His blazer now slung over one shoulder, he used his other arm to gently rest around your shoulder.

“I’ll see you at the dinner, Motoya. I’m going to walk Y/N home.” 

Motoya dipped his head in acknowledgement before parting ways.

You and Kiyoomi laughed and reminisced over the last three years. The late nights studying. Hanging around each other's houses. Him keeping you company as you read your books at cafes. The cat you two found outside of the school your first year. The god awful game of telephone pictionary that almost got the three of you suspended your second year of school. The failed attempts of learning how to play volleyball in third year. It seemed that all of the memories so precious to your heart were coming to a cease.

Your laughs faltered as you approached the gate of your home. 

“I don’t know what I’m going to do when you leave for Osaka.” You laughed nervously as his arm slid off of your shoulder. He unconsciously moved a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Easy. Just go to the same school as me. It’s not that difficult of a decision.”

You laughed. “You know I haven’t even begun to choose the college I want to go to yet. I haven’t weighed the pros and cons of each school. Plus you got a full ride.” You sighed.

“Well a pro is that I’m there. I think that’s enough.” He tilted his head at you.

You let out a short laugh before turning your head away from him. “If only it was that simple.” You wondered aloud.

“I have to see how good the program is for what I want to do. I know that they’re the top in the country for it but will it really benefit me? What if financial aid doesn't end up coming through and I have student loans out the ass? What if housing is full? If I don’t have anywhere to live?” 

Your thoughts were cut off by Kiyoomi stifling a laugh. He used a single hand to cover his mouth as he looked down at you. You shoved his chest playfully. 

“What’s so funny?”

“You worry too much for someone who’s so smart.”

You rolled your eyes at him. He ran his hand through his hair before he rested it on his neck, his gaze never leaving yours. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever told you how pretty I think you are.” He reached over and cupped your face. His long slender fingers gently tucked the rest of your hair behind your ear. He felt your skin heat up below his hand and laughed.

“Are you trying to be funny because you’re really bad at it.”

Before you could even react, Kiyoomi quickly closed the gap between the two of you. His lips were soft as he gently pressed his lips against yours. Your hands rose up quickly against his sides. Slightly panicking. He tilted your chin up slightly and you finally kissed him back. 

You felt him smile against your lips as he pulled you closer.

He pulled away. Grinning like an idiot.

“I think you should go to that school in Osaka with me. I’m going to have an apartment and everything.”

You placed your arms around his shoulders and his slinked down to your waist.

“We’ll see.”

Kiyoomi’s body sunk into itself.

“I’ve been waiting to do that for quite some time now and that’s all you say? ‘We’ll see?’ It’s really not enough.” 

“I mean who said I haven’t been waiting to kiss you too?” 

He raised an eyebrow at you as you leaned up to place a kiss on the corner of his mouth.

“For how long?”

“After nationals in our second year when I saw a horde of fan girls for one of the best aces in Japan.” You reached up and pinched his cheek. “I thought to myself that I wasn’t jealous or anything, but I think I’ve thought about you romantically for a while now.” He narrowed his eyes at you before shaking his head for you to let go of his face.

“But you’re right. You’ve never told me I was pretty before, Kiyoomi.” You used your hands to bring his face down to yours. 

That was the first time you and Sakusa Kiyoomi had ever kissed.

-

Sakusa Kiyoomi was disappointed to say the least that you did not follow him to college in Osaka. 

Or so he thought. 

Two weeks after his move there was a knock on his apartment door at 7am in the morning. Kiyoomi was a morning person, but he had no clue who it could possibly be. He pulled a sweatshirt over his body and pulled on sweatpants over his boxers.

There you stood with a suitcase in each hand.

“I chose Osaka because I don’t think I can handle being away from you for four years.”

Kiyoomi enveloped you in a hug, making you drop your luggage. He pressed your body against his chest and buried his head into the crook of your neck. He peppered kisses on your  cheekbone until you turned to face him. He held your hands and kissed you sweetly before pulling you inside. 

“Kiyo, you need to grab my bags.” You mumbled into his mouth. He gently put you down. Grabbed your bags and placed them inside and turned to face you. You looked at him expectantly with your arms open towards him. Without missing a beat he picked you up and spun you around.

“Are you sure you want to go to school out here?” He pressed a kiss to your temple. You nodded against his chest.

“One exception though.” You pulled away from him.

“Will you be my boyfriend, Sakusa Kiyoomi?”

“Yes.”

This was the first day you spent as an official couple.

-

The semester was beginning to take a toll on the both of you. Fortunately enough, the both of you managed to be taking the same courses for your basics and had a basic study regiment in the evenings. Kiyoomi’s volleyball practice ran from ungodly hours of the morning and the fatigue was catching up to him as finals week set upon the two of you.

You returned from the library and walked into the bedroom to see Kiyoomi sound asleep, laying on his side snuggling a pillow. Quiet snores spread through the room as his mouth was slightly agape.

You quickly showered and changed into a shirt of his before snuggling into bed beside him. You ran your fingers through his hair causing him to lean into your touch.

“Y/N” He groaned into the pillow.

“Hm?”

“C’mere.” He lifted up his arm as an invitation. You quickly obliged as his arm encased you into his chest.

“How was studying? Sorry I left so early.” He yawned.

 Your arm wrapped around his side as your fingernails began to graze his bare back.

“It’s fine, Kiyo. I know how tired you’ve been lately. Being a student athlete is tough enough as it is.” 

“I don’t want you to be stressed out because of my incapabilities.”

“You’re only human. And I’m stressed out because college is tough, not because you’re incapable of things.”

“I know.”

“Your voice is cute when you’re tired.”

“No, it isn’t.”

“Yes.”

“No.” 

“Nevermind.” 

“I beg your pardon?.”

“Have I ever told you that you’re super handsome when you’re dead quiet. I know I can’t see you right now, but the whole brooding thing  you usually have going on is usually pretty nice in my opinion.”

“Shut up.”

“Okay, Kiyo.”

“Y/N  I’ll literally make you do all of the cleaning next week.”

“But Kiyo-”

“Shut up.”

“Anyways. I’ve missed you.”

“We live together. And study together. And go to school together.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

“Remember that one time that you fell down the stairs in our second year? In front of the entire class?”

“I hate you.”

“I love you.”

“What?”

You sat up abruptly staring down at your boyfriend. He sat up, propping his hands on either side of his body. He blinked the sleep out of his eyes.

“I love you, Kiyoomi.”

A lazy smile graced the black-haired man’s features.

“I mean it!”

“I know you do. That’s why I’m smiling.”

“I really mean it, Kiyoomi. You’ve been my best friend since middle school. We spent every waking moment together. I got to grow with you as friends. I had the opportunity to watch you bloom into your passion by bringing you daifuku one day because I saw a quiet boy practicing all by himself. I’m so lucky for that moment of time. Even though we’re busy now, we get to hold each other at night and see each other’s achievements during the day. I think it’s so amazing that we have each other.  I just want to cherish you.”

“I love you too.” He clasped his hand over yours.

“And I mean it too.”

That was the first time you and Sakusa exchanged ‘I love yous’.

-

The semester had come to an end. Kiyoomi rested his head on your lap as you watched TV and he watched volleyball highlights on his phone. You played with his curls absentmindedly.

“I can’t believe that Kageyama Tobio is playing on the Olympic team this year.”

“Who?”

“The kid who beat Wakatoshi our second year.”

“Oh that one.”

“I want to play in the Olympics.”

“I know Kiyo you just need to keep doing what you're doing and you’ll be on that stage in 2020.”

You pulled out your cell phone and took a picture of the two of you. Managing to get his glare and everything. You shoved the photo you just took in his face. 

“Look! Do you know who that is?”

“Me. Sakusa Kiyoomi.”

“Correct!” You exclaimed. “He’s also my boyfriend and a future Olympian! A future representative of Japan’s men's volleyball team!”

Kiyoomi laughed. He locked his phone and just kept on laughing.

“You’re so precious.” He managed between laughs. He pulled his head from your lap and squeezed your cheeks with both of his hands.

“My girlfriend believes in me!” He sang song.

You placed your hands over his and pulled him forward into a quick kiss.

“Am I not supposed to?”

“I never said that.”

“You’re kind of suggesting it. Do you not like me anymore?”

He leaned forward, putting his lips on yours once more.

“You know I don’t like you, I love you.”

(nsfw)

Butterflies rose in your chest at his words. You gave him the dopiest grin before you leaned into  him once more. Your body leaned into his. Kiyoomi’s hands rose under your shirt as he pulled you on top of his lap. Your legs fell on either side of him as your fingers ran through his hair. As your hands reached the back of his head you fisted his curls, earning a quiet groan from the man underneath you. His hands pressed roughly into the skin of your hips. The surprise let Kiyoomi slip his tongue into your mouth.

He began to place open mouth kisses down your neck as his hands traveled up to your breasts. You quickly slid your shirt off over your head to give him more access. His kisses continued across your collarbone and down to your breast. 

“Kiyo-” Your breath hitched in your throat as he swirled his tongue.

“Hmm?” He mumbled into your chest. 

“Let’s go to the bedroom.” You said firmly, as you slid your hands to his shoulders to get him to look at you.

His dark eyes sparkled at you and nodded. 

You got off of his lap and made your way to your room. Dropping your shorts to the ground, you kicked them to the corner of the room. Before you could even reach the bed, you were enveloped in a hug from behind. Kiyoomi’s bare chest warmed your back as he began to kiss your neck, your shoulders. A hand firmly on your hip and a hang squeezing your breast. His hands traveled your body hungrily. You turned to meet his face. Caressing it with the back of your hand you placed a gentle kiss on his nose, making him smile at you.

Your hands draped over his boxers as you generously worked them down his legs. Placing, small, eager kisses on his lips.

“I don’t think we have condoms-”

“Yes we do. They’re in my nightstand, I bought them just in case we ever-”

“Mhmm”

You lured Kiyoomi over to the bed as you stroked him. He opened the bedside table and carefully tore the wrapper before rolling the condom on. He hovered over you as he lowered you onto the bed, his lips not leaving yours once. His fingers caressed you, slipping in and out slowly, you moaned into his mouth, making him speed up ever so slightly as he kissed all over your body. He wanted to show you physically how much he loves you.

He positioned himself between your legs before slipping himself in. The two of you gasped at the newfound sensation. He moaned into your neck as your hands failed to grab at his back. He kissed your cheek and smiled at you. He began to roll his hips into you repeatedly. He was weary of his actions as his hands roamed your entire body. He didn’t want to go too slow or two fast. He never asked, he just studied your reactions as he pressed deeper into you. He began to hold a steady rhythm as moans began to spill from your mouth. Each sound encouraging him to unconsciously move faster. 

“Kiyoomi.” Your nails sunk into his back, your lips struggled to find his. He moaned your name into your neck. He was reaching his climax as he shuddered inside of you. He kissed your forehead gently. 

“I love you. Forever. I cannot imagine anyone else I’d share this life with.”

You stared at your boyfriend. He was studying your face with great intent as if to check if he made a dent. His hair was plastered to his forehead with sweat. You pushed it back making his curls bounce as they flopped back down. His body rose and fell steadily as he caught his breath over you. He gave you a small smile as he flattened your hair on your head, he gently pulled out of you before sitting on his knees and sliding the condom off of himself.

“Give me a second please.”

He walked to the bathroom and disposed of it and began to pick up the clothes from earlier and put them in the hamper. He returned to your side. He propped up his head on his hand as ran his fingers through your hair.

“I’m so lucky. Everyday.”

You smiled as he placed yet another tender kiss on your lips.

The night ended with Sakusa curled on your bare chest, fast asleep while you held him dearly through the night.

That was you and Sakusa Kiyoomi’s first time.

-

Today was Kiyoomi’s first V-League game. 

You were never typically awake at the same times that he was. Ever. 

You sleepily followed him around the apartment. He brushed his teeth first. You stifled a laugh as he began the skin care routine you taught him in high school. He ignored you, but followed suit. Next he fixed his bed head. Well you did. You sat on the counter with him between your legs as you gently raked product through his hair. 

“Omi Omi.” You sang as he relaxed into your hands. 

“Don’t call me that.”

“Why? I think Miya was onto something when he started calling you that.” 

“No he wasn’t. He tainted the second half of my name when he started that shit.”

“Don’t be that way, Omi Omi!” 

“Shut up!” He yawned. 

“Or what, Omi?” You hopped off the sink and walked away from him.

“You’re gonna do what you did to me, last night? Right now?”

A sly grin rested on his lips before he pushed you to the bed. 

“Good thing we woke up early.”

-

You stayed arm and arm with Kiyoomi at the bar where his teammates won. The Black Jackals won their very first game. 

You glanced up at your mask-clad boyfriend as he glared at his teammates. 

“Omi Omi! I didn’t know you were bringing your girlfriend!”

“Hi! You must be Atsumu!” You extended your hand to shake his, but Sakusa cut in front of you. 

“Don’t touch him.” He rolled his eyes. 

“It’s called being courteous, Kiyo. You ought to try it!” You shoved his chest. 

“I can’t believe Omi Omi has a heart. He actually talks about us at home.” Bokuto bunched up his shirt on his chest, his eyes watering. 

“You’re telling me.” Atsumu huffed. 

“To be clear, the only person I respect on this team is Meian and I think it’s all valid.” Sakusa glared at the two men. His gaze lost it’s focus once he heard your laugh and reeled back into the conversation that you were having with Hinata. 

His teammates smiled as they were watching a never before seen Sakusa Kiyoomi. 

As the night progressed more and more drinks were spread amongst the team. 

You and Kiyoomi balanced the drinks the best you could, but after all, it was your first time drinking. Ever. 

Both of you, equally wasted, exited the bar and ordered a ride home. Laughing up the stairs the two of you tumbled into your bedroom. Kissing and everything in between. 

Sakusa Kiyoomi looked at you like you were the light of his life and he made sure you knew it. 

You studied his features as he drunkenly told you stories of when he was little. His dark brown eyes squinted at you as little laughs escaped his mouth. Anytime he smiled one corner of his mouth rose higher than the other. Anytime Kiyoomi reached for your hand, he always managed to be the most gentle with his spindly fingers. His kisses were so soft. Even now as he continuously reaches down to kiss you. Even though your own lips are numb from the alcohol rushing in your veins. 

This is true love. 

-

“I told you that you’d be in the Olympics.” 

You wrapped your arms around him as you stood behind the couch, smothering his cheek with kisses. 

“I know! I’m glad everything paid off!” 

“Me too. Me too.

“I think this is the first time I’ve ever dated an Olympian.” You stared at the phone in Kiyoomi’s hand. The congratulatory email. 

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“What do you think about marrying an Olympian? Pretty practical, right?”

You grinned from ear to ear. 

“I think that’s the best idea you’ve had in a while.”

“I’d like you to know I’m full of great ideas. I mean we’ve been together for six years. And it’s because I kissed you since you wouldn’t kiss me. I think that it’s a fair assumption that I’m the brains of this relationship. I also made the idea for us moving into this city home. I also made the executive decision for us to buy a cat.”

“Kiyo. That’s not how that went. You know damn well I brought the cat home when you were done with practice and you hit me with the whole ‘I guess we can do it if we clean the litter box everyday’. I think you’re remembering things incorrectly. Per usual.”

“Dunno, but it took my decision making to allow her to stay in this home.”

“Uh huh. Now that I think about it, it would be my first time marrying an Olympian.”

“Well duh. I mean look at me.”

“ I was talking about Miya, you dolt.”

He let out a hearty laugh. “I guess you can take the role of the funny one.”

-

The first time Sakusa became a parent. He had almost passed out in the delivery room. He’ll never acknowledge it to you, however when friends asked he claimed that childbirth was ultimately disgusting. 

His eyes shone the moment your son entered the world. 

He held him delicately as if he could break. He was laughing as he gently brought him down to you. 

You stared down at the baby you and your husband had brought into the world and you couldn’t help but think of the first time you saw Sakusa Kiyoomi and the blessings the boy brought into your life.

(A/N) the smut scene wasnt supposed to be good!!!!!!!!! It was their first time so it wasn’t supposed to be some god tier orgasming experience. It was supposed to be plain and about their connection!

thanks for reading (:

[artzee-bee]

End of all things [2] | Chat Noir x witch!reader

Fandom: MIraculous Ladybug (Adrien Agreste/ Chat Noir)

Request:”Hello good evening, could you please do where a witch!Reader who always tries to comfort Chat/Adrian when he is feeling down. Cuz you know in season 4 I noticed he’s getting sadder and sadder. The reader doesn’t like to get involved in all these weird happenings and just lay low. Whenever Chat/Adrian comes to the reader’s house they always make him feel at home. That's when things go off, at the final battle where Hawkmoth got the Miraculouses and the heroes thought they would lose. (Y/n) just landed in front of them looking so done with Hawkmoth.Hawkmoth thinks that (y/n) was just a weakling, but he was wrong. (Y/n) is far stronger than Hawkmoth even he will use the all Miraculouses he’ll still lose.”

Genre: Angst

Warnings: canon typical violence

A/N: It is incredibly late right now, I hope this piece makes sense and that you like it! It was a cool request, but complicated for sure :))

Part 1

~~~

You could have sworn that time stopped altogether at that moment. Somehow, even though the disappointment of having lost and the worry you felt for your best friend, you found a little power to look at Hawkmoth. You expected him to be joyful, restless! You expected him to have already put on both the miraculouses and yet, they were resting in his palm. His eyes weren’t even on them.

“Adrien?” he looked at the broken boy on the ground

“We’re not over yet!” he yelled, running towards Hawkmoth as fast as he could, but it didn’t matter how much will to fight he had anymore! Adrien’s body was going numb. It was giving up on him. And Hawkmoth was gaining more power and energy with every second that went by. The villain grabbed the boy by the shoulder, immobilizing him to his chest, the same way you had done with Marinette

“You are weak and powerless without your ring, boy. Stop it at once!”

“No!” the desperation in his voice made your heart crumble

You felt Marinette stir in your hold. You knew she must have been awake and watching by now, but you didn’t let go. You had been unable to protect Chat from losing his powers, from wasting his energy by squirming in the arms of the enemy. You’ll be damned if you let anything happen to Ladybug now! Because even if this was the end, even if they’d never get their powers back, Marinette and Adrien will always be Ladybug and Chat Noir. 

Tears fell from your face as you watched your friend kick and scream in fear and frustration. His hair was sticking to his forehead with beads of sweat

You weren’t sure what you could read within Hawkmoth’s facial expression, but you could tell it wasn’t the confidence from a minute ago. Neither the focus. You could still do something! Under your breath, you began to mutter a chant. You had never tried this specific spell before, but there was nothing left to lose. It was supposed to attract an object of your choosing, to you. Focusing on the image of the miraculouses, held captive in Hawkmoth’s iron grip, you prayed it’d work.

“I don’t want to have to kill you Adrien!” finally, the boy managed to escape and take a few steps back

“What do you care? Just a moment ago you would have done anything it took to get rid of me and Marinette!” 

Hawkmoth turned around to face you almost instantly, noticing the movement of your lips. 

“Stop that!”

You saw his fist tighten and shake slightly. His fear was all the motivation you needed! Your chants grew louder and louder, more confident and powerful. Hawkmoth placed both his hands around the jewelry in an attempt to prevent it from reaching you. Finally, there was a chance you could still win this!

And then there was a hand on your mouth.

And a kick on the inside of your knee.

You fell to the ground in pain, as the person behind you pushed you harder against the concrete. Right then, was the first time you heard Marinette say anything that day. 

“Rena?” her voice broken with despair

“I've never akumatized a hero before” you heard Hawkmoth’s taunting laugh “Can you imagine the possibilities Y/N?”

Tears were brimming in your eyes. Rena was forcing you to the ground with all her force. You heard Adrien call out your name, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. You had to find a way out of this but exhaustion was catching up to you quickly. You weren’t used to fights! You weren’t used to such powerful spells within such a short period of time!

With all the strength in your body, you focused again on an imaginary spot, in the middle of it all. You closed your eyes and imagined the ball of energy growing bigger and bigger, somewhere between you and Hawkmoth. Winds picked up speed around you. You opened your eyes slightly, and all you could see was Marinette’s horrified look, but you didn’t care. Not anymore. As long as you were still conscious, the fight would go on. The ball of energy went off again, creating the same bomb effect as in the beginning of the fight. Rena flew off of you, allowing you to move just in time to see Hawkmoth fly into a tree, and drop not only the black cat and ladybug miraculouses, but the butterfly one as well.

It seemed like the magic brooch had come undone from the impact. All 3 jewels fell to the ground and Hawkmoth was swallowed by a purple light. As the detransformation came to an end, all that was left was an unconscious Gabriel Agreste

“Dad?” Adrien’s voice felt like a punch in the heart. You couldn’t tell if he was angry or sad. His eyes turned almost red and he took off running after his father, but you were faster and caught up to him before he could reach Gabriel. You tackled him to the ground to prevent him from waking up the villain and possibly causing more chaos.

“Wait, Adrien, we need the miraculouses!”

“No, what I need is to talk to my DAD!”

“Adrien please!” you could barely manage to keep him from squirming underneath you

“Of course” Marinette replied slowly before holding out her hand. You let go of Adrien, but he didn’t get up. He just placed his right hand on top of Marinette’s, as she carefully slipped the ring on his finger, back where it belonged. 

You heard rapid footsteps come your way and saw Marinette run towards the miraculouses, picking all of them in her hand and hugging them to her chest.You couldn’t even imagine the relief she must have felt! She looked like finally, everything in the world was right again. It gave you hope! Adrien visibly relaxed as he watched her too.

“Can I have Plagg back?” he sobbed

Plagg flew out, looking sacred and in distress, but he tried to smile for his boy.

“I’m sorry Plagg.'' the kwami didn’t say anything, choosing instead to nuzzle himself in the crook of Adrien’s neck, in a hug. The boy placed his hand on top of him and began to sob quietly. Your heart sank at the sight and you couldn’t help but let yourself fall on top of Adrien again and wrapping him in another hug. You could hear every beat of his heart and every sorrowful tear rolling down his cheeks. The noise was so loud, you almost didn’t hear Marinette transform back into her heroine self.

You opened your eyes to see her tying up Gabriel, alongside Rena. She gave you a nod, letting you know they got it from here.

“Adrien?” Gabriel whispered slowly. It seemed like he had finally woken up. The boy beneath you slowly raised his head to meet the glance of his dad. Immediately, he pushed you off in order to run to him

“Father. It’s ok! It’s gonna be ok! It’s a misunderstanding, isn’t it?” Adrien ran to him, hopefulness in his voice like he didn’t know he was merely kidding himself

“I did it for a good cause Adrien…”

“No...you didn’t” he insisted

“One day you’ll understand”

Adrien stepped away from the weak body of his father, suddenly horrified at the realisation that Hawkmoth was, indeed, no one other than his own dad. He turned around to see you and Plagg still on the ground where he left you. Tears were quickly making their way back into his eyes as he rushed to you, throwing himself into your open arms. Ladybug picked Gabriel up, and dragged him away, with Rena right on her tail.

Adrien’s cries were muffled by your hair, but his words were still audible, at least to you

“He was my father! All this time”

“I failed everyone”

“No you didn’t Adrien”

“You didn’t know”

“I let myself be vulnerable and gave him the opportunity to take away my miraculous! I could have lost Plagg forever! I let Ladybug down! She lost her earrings and got akumatized and I couldn’t do anything about it!”

“Stop Adrien. It’s ok. It’s all gonna be ok” you tightened your grip around his body “eventually…”

[earlgreydream]

good old fashioned lover boy.

| 40s!bucky x reader | fluff |

some sweet, pure, 1940s bucky fluff 💕

anon requested. Bucky x reader in the 40’s he’s back from the war and he proposes to the reader with no ring so instead he has her wear his dog tags and promises that he’ll get her a ring when he has the money for one

a/n: we’re pretending this song came out in the 40s instead of 76, don’t any of you come in my DMs about it.

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I love you, always and forever. I promise when I get home, I’ll make you mine. - James Buchanan Barnes

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I’m already yours. You have me, you’re all I’ve ever wanted. I love you. Come home to me, safely. - Y/N

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Months of sending letters back and forth between you and Bucky had made his homecoming that much more anticipated. The love of your life had gone off to war, “fighting the good fight” he said. You missed him, but he was out saving lives, and for that, you were thankful.

Now, after his tour, the love of your life was coming home to you. It felt like it had been forever, and you were practically buzzing with anticipation. You were sat on the porch, waiting to see his yellow car pull up in your drive. You kept smoothing out your skirt, wanting everything to be perfect for Bucky’s arrival.

You were jittery, and the last hour before he returned seemed longer than his entire tour. Just when you swore you were about to lose your mind, his yellow car pulled up in front of your house. You jumped off of the porch, and you were running to Bucky the second he’d gotten out of the vehicle. 

You threw your arms around his neck, and he spun you around, hugging you tightly. 

“James! You’re here, you’re okay, oh my god, you’re alive!” you breathed, your feet touching the pavement as he set you down. You held his face, looking into silver eyes that belonged to the man who was your entire universe. 

“I’m home, doll. I came back for you.”

Your heart raced, butterflies filling your stomach as your lips smashed against his. He was kissing you with the ferocity of a thousand missed kisses, the ones you’d waited for, for months. 

When you finally broke apart for air, happy tears were in your eyes. You took a half step back, looking at Bucky in his decorated uniform. 

“I can’t believe you’re here. I love you so much,” you breathed, hugging him again. 

The sound of his laughter echoed through you, wrapping you in familiar warmth. You kissed him again and again out in the drive, ignoring the curious neighbours that were peering out of their windows. 

“You look beautiful. I love your dress,” Bucky said, making you giggle. 

“Come inside, have some coffee,” you took his hand, pulling him into your home. 

He followed with a dazzling smile on his face. He was impressed by your hospitality, even when you could barely think straight from being so excited to see him. He’d missed you more than anything, falling asleep every night to thoughts of you. Your smile and your laughter filled his dreams, and you kept him alive while he was off fighting overseas. 

You were everything to him. 

“Y/N,” Bucky said your name, kneeling down behind you as you started to walk into the kitchen. 

You turned, the corners of your lips pulling up. You looked down at him, kneeling on the cold, patterned tile, the ones he and his friend Steve had laid for you a year back. 

“Bucky,” you spoke, raising your eyebrows in confusion. 

“I want you to marry me. I don’t have a ring... I don’t have anything, but I promise you, I will love you endlessly, and I will love you until I die. And if there is life after that, I will love you then.”

Your hand went to your mouth, a gasp escaping you. You were nodding, so overwhelmed with joy you could hardly speak. 

“Yes, yes!” you cried, pulling him up. 

He kissed you, consuming you and filling your senses with him. Nothing else mattered except the brunette in your arms, the silver-gazed war hero that meant more to you than the entire world. The man you loved more than all of the stars. 

“You’ve made me the happiest man alive, my love,” Bucky said between kisses, grinning against your lips.

“I love you.”

“I love you the most,” he held you against his broad chest, squeezing you tightly.

“Impossible.”

"Until I have a ring,” Bucky said, draping his dog tags around your neck. They were cold against your chest, the silver metal clinking as the tags bumped against each other. You ran your fingertips over the tags, bringing them up to your lips. 

“It’s perfect.”

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“I’ll never leave you again,” Bucky promised, his arm draped over you. 

You were lying face-to-face in bed, your noses brushing in the dark. The prospect of sleep seemed unlikely after how desperate you were to spend every moment with him, even if your body reminded you how tired you were. You yawned, bursting into a fit of giggles when Bucky kissed your cheeks. He was being silly, but you threaded your fingers into his hair and pulled him to meet you in a heavy kiss. 

His taste filled your mouth, like lemons and smoke, his tongue slotting against yours, swallowing the small noises you made. The metal dog tags were pressed between your chests, cold against your skin. 

“I’m so happy you’re home,” you were breathless under his silver gaze.

“Me too. You should sleep, doll. I thought I did my best exhausting you,” he teased, a cheeky grin adorning his features. 

You shook your head, shushing him with a kiss. You missed him, a piece of you left empty when he was gone to war. Now that he was home, you were complete. And with the promise of marriage, you were more content than ever. 

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“Bucky, come dance with me!” you begged as a record played your favorite song. 

The vinyl spun on Bucky’s record player in the corner, untouched in his absence. Now that he was home, your house was full of life, and now, music, once again. 

He set down his novel, immediately getting up to join you in the kitchen. Strong hands came to rest on your waist, your arms hooking loosely around his neck. Bucky hummed the song, softly singing the lyrics that brought a smile to your face. He’d learned the song the moment he found out it was your favorite, committing it to heart and memory because it reminded him of you. 

The sound of his voice soothed you, and you rocked back and forth to the rhythm of the song, Bucky gently spinning you around before bringing you back into his chest. He met you in a kiss, dipping you back, your hair almost brushing the floor. 

“Charming, Barnes.”

“Only for you.”

“That’s a lie!” you giggled, spinning out of his arms when the beat picked up on the next song. He winked, taking your hands and twisting you around. 

Set my alarm, turn on my charm That's because I'm a good old-fashioned loverboy

Ooh, let me feel your heartbeat  Ooh, ooh, can you feel my love heat?

Bucky sang along, making you laugh as your hips were grabbed and moved against his. You had never been so happy, engaged your loverboy, and dancing in the kitchen with him safe in your arms. 

“I can’t wait to marry you, James Buchanan Barnes.”