#I frankly prefer they age up before this romance thing

[claireclaymore]

People had to see a real 12 kid boy and 14 teenager girl to understand how weird is they date with that age

[nikethestatue]

Breed Me

Happy Valentine's Day!

A little one shot of pure smuttiness for all of you to enjoy today. Also, blame @tswaney17 for this! She sent me a video in IG of a pink cookie being decorated with the words 'Breed Me'. She said 'Elriel'. I said 'I have to write this'. So here you are.

This is an Elriel and Nessian smut

(Generally speaking a bonus set in the world of A Match Baked In Heave, but is a standalone)

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuckety fuck fuck.

She knew it. She just knew it. She knew that she’d forget. And she did. She even forgot to set the reminder not to forget.

Valentine’s Day.

Their first Valentine’s Day together. 

The only excuse she managed to come up with was that they’ve been together for almost a year now. They began properly dating right around the last V Day, and therefore, it’s been some time and Nesta was allowed to forget. Or so she told herself. But she was the worst girlfriend ever. She didn’t even have a card for him!

The problem was that Nesta Archeron, barrister extraordinaire, successful, beautiful, admired, and well-put together always, did not possess a romantic bone in her body. Romance just wasn’t how she operated. Nesta liked to go to Michelin starred restaurants, she enjoyed good wines, she adored interesting trips, and she got emotional when walking down the streets of Florence overwhelmed by the sheer beauty and history of the place. But romantic, she was not. At least, not in the sense that people came to expect someone to express their romantic side–chocolates, flowers, jewellery, horrid chocolate lava cakes and even more terrifying public marriage proposals with the ring being dropped to the bottom of a champagne flute. If her boyfriend Cassian ever did that to her, she’d break up with him. Though that wasn’t exactly his style–he’d probably propose on a mountain peak, or looking out at some terrifying squall, or, if she were lucky, at night, on the streets of Florence, when no one was looking and it was the two of them.

But, enough about proposals and romantic gestures. 

She’d leave that to her sister Elain. Her other sister, Feyre, had an even less romantic attitude than Nesta, if that was even possible. Feyre was hopeless in the romance department. Good thing her husband Rhysand was romantic enough for the two of them, and then some. If Rhys could gift Feyre the Moon on a string, he would. 

That left Elain. The only one who was a romantic at heart, and per Feyre ‘romantic on steroids’ who adored V Day and began prepping for it in advance, the way others prepared for Christmas. 

Nesta never enquired about Elain’s Valentine’s Day plans, because she was frankly, a bit scared. Though the Archeron girls were all girls, and close in age, they weren’t the types to discuss their sex lives with each other. They weren’t the types to change clothes in front of one another, and Nesta couldn’t remember when she saw any of her sisters naked. That’s just how they were. And Nesta preferred to keep it that way.

But today, she was desperate. And she was close to Elain’s house. 

Unannounced pop-ins weren’t a thing that the sisters did either, but Nesta was always close to Elain and now, she hoped that Elain wouldn’t mind it. Besides, it was only 2 pm. What could Elain possibly be doing?

Just in case, though, Nesta sent a warning text “I am in the neighbourhood. And need to stop by. Are you decent?”

The last part would’ve seemed like an overkill, but it wasn’t. Because Elain, and her husband Azriel, were known to get it on frequently and at any time of day or night. Nesta had to get her eyes bleached by now, considering how many times she either overheard them or walked in on them. Azriel was a damn exhibitionist, who loved semi-public sex, and what’s more, the man’s had some peculiar interests, which made being in their company a veritable minefield of strange sexual encounters. Elain…well, she was in love. She was love-drunk, dick-drunk, and sex-drunk most of the time. 

Nesta hurried down the street, before rushing up the stairs, taking two steps at a time. True to Elain’s character, the white columns beneath the awning were decorated with pink, white and red roses. Love was in the air.

Nesta banged on the door and heard ‘it’s open!’

She entered the foyer, toed off her boots and almost ran to the open concept first floor kitchen and sitting room. 

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” her sister asked, worry etched on her pretty face.

Elain was wearing a pink dress with red flowers and a wide pink headband, which struggled to contain waves of her thick curls. The dress accentuated her growing stomach, which was just beginning to round and pop at 4.5 months. Of course, Elain made the prettiest pregnant woman in the world. Shiny hair, sparkling eyes, clear skin, a wide smile, gorgeous boobs, no weight gain other than in her stomach, and the most perfect pregnancy–no violent sickness, explosive vomiting, sickening cravings or swollen ankles for the middle Archeron sister. 

“I am brilliant!” Nesta put on a fake smile. “Just need a few ideas,”

Elain eyed her with a disapproving look and then said, 

“You forgot, didn’t you?”

“Ummm, forgot what?” Neta decided to play stupid.

“Don’t play stupid,” her sister snapped. “You forgot about Valentine’s Day and now Cassian doesn’t have a gift, does he?”

Nesta plopped on the stool by the marble bar and announced with pretend excitement,

“No. But that’s where you come in!”

“Oh, is that so?” rolled her eyes and then picked up a pastry bag, and curled over the counter. “Am I expected to get your boyfriend a Valentine’s Day gift?”

“No, no, no,” Nesta assured her breezily. “Nothing like that. Just…ideas. Give me some ideas. I will execute!”

Elain thought for a second, absorbed in whatever she was doing with that pastry bag, and then explained,

“Men don't care about presents. Not for this type of holiday,”

“They don’t?”

“No! Cass doesn’t want a box of chocolates!” she laughed. “He’d just have to work it out longer at the gym.”

“So then…?” Nesta’s voice trailed as her brows knitted in confusion.

“You are hopeless!” Elain sighed. “Romance. Seduction. That’s what he wants. Seduce him…”

“O-kay…As in?”

“I have to teach you how to seduce a man?” Elain demanded.

“I don’t need to seduce him. He is already seduced!”

“Expand your repertoire,” Elain all but ignored Nesta’s reasoning. “Do something you don't normally do,”

“What, whips and chains?”

“Why must you go that far? Unless you want to be chained and whipped?” 

“No thanks.”

Nesta knew for a fact that that was more of an Elain and Azriel thing.

“Then what?” she asked again.

“What about sending him a sexy video?” Elain proposed. 

“I am not sending nudes,” Nesta stated firmly. “If that ever gets out,”

“You think he is going to share your nudes?”

“Phones get hacked. Next idea?”

Elain sighed and then leaned back against the fridge, and crossed her arms on her chest.

“Have you tried introducing some whipped cream? Strawberries?”

“I don’t like mixing sex with food,” Nesta told her.

“Oh god. Well, what do you like?”

“My choices are nudes or rolling around in greasy sheets?” Nesta demanded crossly. 

“Play a game,”

“What kind of game?”

“Like a sex game. You tell him one of your desires, and he tells you one of his, and you both do it,” Elain proposed.

Nesta chewed on her lips, thinking about it. It wasn’t a terrible idea.

“What else?”

“Try having sex in an unusual place,” Elain suggested. “Not in bed or a shower. But somewhere you don’t usually do it in,”

“Hmmm. Okay.”

This was giving Nesta ideas.

“We have a book,” Elain began but Nesta shook her head, 

“No. Please no. I don’t want real-life examples from your sex escapades!!!”

“All I wanted to say,” Elain pouted, “was that if you have a sexy book or a magazine, you can open it to a random page and act out whatever is there…”

“Oh. Hmmm. That’s not bad. You’ve done that?”

“You just said no real-life examples!” Elain reminded her dryly.

“Yeah, true.”

Giving her a meaningful look of pure judgement, Elain added, “wouldn’t hurt if you dressed in something other than your smart clothes and your suits.”

“Lingerie?”

“It’s been known to help.”

In the next moment, Nesta exclaimed, “Oh my god, what is that!?!? Elain?!”

Elain glanced at the MASSIVE bouquet of pale pastel flowers that Azriel had given her earlier today. It wasn’t unusual that Azriel would give her flowers, so she didn’t quite understand Nesta’s reaction. 

But Nesta was staring, wild-eyed, at what Elain was doing, and she saw a whole array of sugar biscuits, which were already shiny with icing, and upon which Elain was writing.

Writing such as:

Lick Me

I Lick You

Butt Play

Toys

Anal

Reverse Cowgirl

Pearl Necklace

Blindfold

Breed Me

Outside

Car BJ

69

And many others, which Nesta couldn’t even make out.

“What the hell is this?!” she cried out.

Elain began to scramble pathetically, trying to turn the biscuits over, but it was too late. Nesta’s seen enough. 

“Elain! What the heck are you two up to?”

“Okay, whatever,” Elain was redder than the icing on the bakes. “It’s a game, okay? We are going to play a game too!”

“What kind of game is this?!”

“I think it’s obvious,” Elain hissed. 

“Not really…”

“My god,” she rolled her eyes and threw her head back dramatically. “It’s a very simple game, Nesta. There is a platter of biscuits–you select one or two, and read what it says. Then you do it.”

Nesta’s eyes bugged out,

“So you are going to do anal?!?! Or a car BJ!?”

“I don’t know!!!!!!!!!!!” Elain screeched, all flustered and red. “Maybe! Maybe we’ll do anal,”

“You are pregnant,”

“You can have anal when you are pregnant. Also, I am not discussing this with you anymore. I’ve given you ideas. That’s it!” she stomped her foot. 

Before the conversation could escalate even further and end up in a potential screaming match, the front door opened and Azriel’s deep, highly masculine and unabashedly sexual voice announced,

“Two jacket potatoes, coming up. Baby, I hope you are naked, because I am fucking gearing up to eat your pussy like a bulldog eats cereal.

“Also, they made me run three sprints today–though I told him that I am an old man with a wonky knee–but per your request, I am still sweaty. So have your way with me, lick it up.”

Nesta made a gagging noise deep inside her chest.

“We are not alone!” Elain screamed frantically.

“Who are we with? The dogs don’t count.”

Elain and Azriel had four dogs. The oldest, who was Elain’s originally, and then he had three sons–Benny, Churchy and John Boy–whom Elain and Azriel also kept. So, the dad and the three sons ran around together, and caused mischief and were four of the cutest dog potatoes ever.

When Azriel stepped inside, holding–by the looks of it–Churchy and Benny in each arm, both of them were dressed in red sweaters, it dawned on Nesta what he meant by ‘jacket potatoes’. Because it was kind of unbelievable that Elain and Azriel would dine on jacket potatoes for Valentine’s Day. Nevermind that Azriel was planning on dining on something else entirely.

“Oh, Nesta,” he muttered, without an ounce of excitement.

“Don’t worry, I am just leaving,” she got up from her seat, scowling. “I don’t need to be hearing about all your perversions,”

“Perversions?” Azriel smirked. “Judgey much?”

Elain was still squirming from embarrassment, but Azriel didn’t seem to care that his sister-in-law became privy to some seriously serious sex talk.

“The boys are knackered,” he announced, dumping the two pugs into their beds. They didn’t even wake up. Both were outfitted with heart-shaped headbands, and red jumpers with white hearts. 

“Nesta, something you need?” he asked, “or,”

“Definitely not! The last thing I need to see is my sister licking your sweat or whatever the fuck you implied she was going to do to you.”

He laughed, while Elain buried her face in her hands.

Azriel was abnormally handsome–in a way that was almost unnatural, and his handsomeness allowed him to get away with a lot of nonsense. 

“Let me guess, you forgot it was V Day and didn’t get my brother anything,” he suggested, stepping behind Elain and wrapping his arms around her.

“Ha! Not even close!” Nesta lied. 

“All right then.” Azriel clearly didn’t believe her. “Then off you go, ice princess. I need to fuck my wife.”

“Az!” Elain moaned helplessly, while Azriel turned her around and cupped her face in his hands.

“What?” he smiled, while his tongue traced a line against her lips. “Let’s make Nessie so uncomfortable, she’ll run out screaming!”

“Already there,” Nesta hissed. 

With Elain’s back to her and Azriel occupied with the kiss, Nesta quickly swiped a bunch of biscuits from the counter and dropped them in her bag. She can play the game too!

“Bye, you degenerates!” she cried out, and ran out, hearing Elain’s soft ‘byeeee’ on the way out. 

-

Nesta and Cassian

“Happy Valentine’s Day, handsome,” Nesta cooed. “Do you want to play a game?”

“Any game you want, sweetheart,” Cassian offered, his voice thick and husky, “I’ll even lose, if you’d like me to,” he promised. His normally bright hazel eyes were dark and satiny, glistening with want and lascivious desire, as they skimmed over Nesta’s stunning lushness, presented to him in all its glory.

She greeted him in their kitchen, when he stomped inside like a big bear, dripping with February rain. He sure didn’t expect to find her there–wrapped up like the perfect candy box of Valentine’s chocolates for him to unwrap. Truthfully, he thought that she’d forgotten about it today–this holiday wasn’t her jam. But, oh how wrong he was. 

Nesta was splayed on the white quartz countertop, dressed in nothing but blood-red silky lingerie, which left absolutely nothing to the imagination. The panties were little more than a piece of tissue paper, covering literally nothing, and the bra, which was tasked with containing Nesta’s lavish cleavage, was hardly anything more. 

The bra was held together by an innocent looking rose, which nestled at the juncture of her soft, plush tits. While the same rose was attached to the top of the panties, just below her belly button. 

“Well, that won’t be necessary,” Nesta assured him breezily, slowly, but intentionally crossing one long leg over the other. To complete the festive look, she wore gravity-defying red Louboutin heels. “I think we can both be winners in this game.”

She slowly walked her manicured fingers down the countertop, to an assortment of heart-shaped biscuits which were laid out in a…heart shape. 

Cassian was a bit shocked. Not just from watching the gorgeous body and the spectacular set that she was wearing, but also from all this wild Valentine-ism that she went out of her way to do. He wasn’t expecting it. This was more of an Elain thing to do.

But he’d lost his ability to speak anyway, so it was a moot point. He was trying to wrap his mind around everything that he was seeing. There were only harsh, primal sounds coming from his gut. Very caveman-like. 

“Pick a biscuit,” Nesta offered, tapping her finger next to each one.

Cassian shucked off his sodden jacket and his brogues, tossing his suit coat on the floor, uncaring. Slowly, like a lion stalking a lioness in the wild, he approached Nesta, trying to appear unaffected.

“What do we have here?” he finally managed to ask, licking his lower lip slowly. Nesta tracked the movement and shifted her body, so that her breasts almost spilled out of the flimsy bra cups, her nipples straining against the transparent lace. 

“A gift for you,” she offered, batting her lashes at him.

“And what will it say?” he pondered, slowly untying the topknot of his long, black hair. 

“I don’t know,” she admitted innocently. “But whatever you pick, you get to do to me…How does that sound?”

“Sounds like I am up to the challenge,” he promised, watching her bite her lower lip. 

His cock stirred within his trousers, while he watched her full lips glisten with a smear of bright red gloss. What a trail it would leave on his cock. The thought alone made him harder. 

Absently, he picked up one of the biscuits and then turned it, to see the message.

“Hmmm,” he hummed, cocking his brow.

Nesta craned her neck to sneak a peek, but he tsked and shook his head. 

“No, no, Miss Archeron, a deal is a deal. Whatever it says, I will do.”

“But what does it say?”

“Something very interesting, and something I am very in the mood to do,” he told her and then slipped the biscuit in his back pocket.

She pouted, but it didn’t last long, because Cassian leaned over her and kissed her. Grasping her slim wrist in his huge hand, he brought it firmly to the swell of his cock. 

“Must have been an interesting message,” she murmured into his mouth, but he wrapped his lips over her soft, pouty mouth and pried the sticky red lips apart with his tongue. Her thin fingers groped his dick firmly, just like he liked it, and a satisfied moan slipped from his lips, landing on Nesta’s tongue. She still sprawled on the counter, but despite the awkward position, Cassian put his big, warm hands on her thighs, travelling slowly over her soft skin toward the gossamer coverage of her panties, until his thumbs traced the warm wet slit beneath the material. 

Nesta moaned into his cheek, biting the skin on his jaw, as she squeezed his shaft harder, working it over with her expert hand. She smelled incredible, her expensive Chanel perfume tickling his nose, as he inhaled deeply, while thrusting his palms under her ass cheeks and palming her hard. He caressed her tongue with his, opening her further up to his kiss, kneading the soft bare skin of her behind. She breathed hotly into his mouth, letting go of his cock and winding her arms around his neck. The loss of her hand on his erection was tragic, but that also allowed Cassian to pull her to him, making her grand tits press into his chest and the warmth of her pussy into his dick. She rubbed against him impatiently, murmuring ‘sorry for ruining your trousers’ to which he replied, ‘feel free to ruin all of me, sweetheart’. 

She nodded, her long leg wrapping around his calves and pulling him even closer. The lips of her pussy stretched around the base of his erection, and she ground on him firmly and confidently.

“What’s my present for V day?” she teased, stroking his long hair and the back of his neck.

“Also a fun game,” he said, dragging his tongue over her mouth, kissing her lazily and with obscene sort of tenderness, indulging in her scent and her taste.

“What is it?” she asked.

“A version of whack-a-mole.”

“Are you the mole?” she queried.

“I am the whacker and the mole,” Cassian told her confidently.

-

Azriel and Elain

“Where was I?” Azriel murmured, watching Elain’s arched body in front of him. “Oh yes,” he remembered, “spreading your legs…”

He was behind her, his scarred palm rough on her hip, as he parted her thighs further. She was panting loudly, and he smiled, caressing her hair lovingly, “my little pillow-biter”.

“Mmm,” was all Elain managed, while the head of his hot, heavy, hefty cock prodded at her entrance, but he didn’t push inside. Instead, his hand slipped under her and stroked her round belly, while he whispered, “he good?”

She nodded yes. “He is good.”

“Ask for my cock, wife,” he then ordered. 

She wiggled her round ass against his groin, the underside of his hard cock landing between her butt cheeks, but didn’t do as he asked. 

He tsked and then slapped the heavy pole over her folds, making her gasp and clutch the sheets harder in her hands.

“Be a good girl, and ask,” he encouraged her, but she shook her head, stifling another moan when he smacked his cock over her pussy. 

“Oh god,” was all she managed, because while it hurt, it also felt so good.

“I am waiting,” he sang, gripping her breasts in his hands and painfully twisting her nipples. 

“Mmm–nooo,” she argued like a brat, shaking her head stubbornly.

Azriel sighed and contemplated for a moment, as he casually fondled her tits, half-seated on her hips. 

“Last chance, beautiful. Ask for my dick,” he told her.

She shook her head and remained silent. 

The thrill of punishment made her even hornier, as she didn’t know what he was going to do.

Flipping her over on her back, he kneeled on one knee over her and cupped his balls in his hand, lazily stroking his shaft. When she made to touch it, he said, “nope. You didn't ask for my cock like a good wife should. Now you are not getting it until I am ready to give it to you,”

He traced his lips with his thumb, while still rubbing his shaft, smearing precum over it, before sliding down and straddling her chest. Gathering her heavy breasts in his hands, he then spit on his dick and firmly pushed her breasts together. “Get ready, sweetness,” he warned, before thrusting his thick cock inside her cleavage. “Now, you are going to take my cock like my good girl, swallow nice and deep, while I fuck your pretty titites,” he instructed, pumping slowly between her breasts. “Tongue out,” he ordered, and Elain stuck her tongue out for him. The smooth head of his cock immediately landed on it, and she burrowed the tip into the sexy little slit, licking on it, tasting him. “That’s a good girl,” he approved, smiling down at her, as he quickly fluffed a pillow behind her head, so that the angle was just right. He squeezed her breasts even harder, and she gasped, especially when he tweaked her nipples, but he didn’t stop thrusting steadily, his movements precise and firm, so that the head of his cock remained inside her mouth for her to lick and suck on. 

“Eye contact at all times, my love,” he reminded her, smiling at her, before pushing deeper in her mouth. Elain watched him obediently, her mouth full of him, her lips stretched around the thickness of the shaft, as she panted loudly around him. He jiggled her tits playfully, keeping them wrapped around his base and his balls. “Now you’ll have my cock in your mouth for as long as I want, naughty girl,” he pinched her nipples, “start sucking, baby.”

Elain submitted, immobilised beneath his weight, sucking scrupulously and hard, as she watched him like he wanted. 

She wanted to be here too, in this place, in his position. She enjoyed being dominated, and Azriel dominated her well. She didn’t crave pain, though when he spanked her, or choked her, or slapped her with his dick, she loved it, but she needed to submit to his desires. She loved taking his cock any way he told her to, loved to serve him in bed, loved to give up control. 

So she sucked sloppily, while he pumped her tits and worked his heavy balls up and down her chest. 

“Is that good, pretty girl?” he asked. 

She nodded, gasping for breath when he pushed his cock deeper. He didn’t stop, and pressed further, whispering “choke on it, beautiful. Come on!”

She sputtered and choked, her eyes pleading with him silently, as tears ran down her cheeks, but he shook his head. 

“No. Swallow. And choke,” he ordered. “Open up. Wider,” and as she did, he plunged further, into her already trained throat. 

After they got married, for three months all she did was suck his cock multiple times a day, learning how to train her gag reflex, learning how to truly suck dick, falling in love with it. 

He released her tits from his grip, and she noticed the blossoming of bruises on her skin, while he propped himself on his arms, before starting  to fuck her mouth greedily and obscenely.

Elain relaxed under the onslaught of his expertly delivered thrusting in her mouth and while he still choked her, she was also enjoying herself. She loved her husband more than it was rational or describable. Azriel fulfilled every dream, every hope, every desire, every need that she had.

Elian hummed against the hard, hot pole in her mouth, which made Azriel feel drunk, particularly when the sound reverberated in her throat, tickling the head of his shaft. He lovingly brushed his thumb over her cheek, watching her bob up and down and meeting every push of his shaft. The noises that she was making–sloppy, wet, explicit–were an erotic symphony in his ear. If he could listen to her gag on his dick for the rest of his life, he probably would.

“You are so good to me,” he whispered. “My Ellie. But, I promised you a gift.”

He eased his pounding of her mouth and resumed his spot on her chest, sliding his shaft back between her breasts. Her breathing eased and she put her hands on his firm, muscle-corded thighs, stroking him slowly, running her fingertips through the nest of pubes around his cock.

His balls tightened and this member twitched next to her sternum, while she squeezed his rock-hard ass cheeks in her hands, digging her nails into his skin. Just like her, he liked a bit of pain as well. 

He pulled out of her mouth just in time for the warm jets of cum to land on her lips, her neck and her chest.

“Mmmm, more,” she finally moaned, licking the familiar salty outpouring from her lips, while he kept coming, until it was dripping down her chest. He scooped some with his fingers and let her lick them off the sperm.

“Beautiful girl,” he purred lovingly. “With a beautiful pearl necklace.”

She laughed and touched her neck. There, beneath the globs of cum, was her new pearl necklace, her Valentine’s gift and the present for her pregnancy.

Azriel collapsed on the bed next to her and then handed her a glass of water. She chugged it down gratefully and he took the biscuit from the nightstand. On it, in pretty script it was written ‘Pearl Necklace’.

Elain got up, amidst his protests and skipped to the bathroom, where she washed off her V Day gift and brushed her teeth.

Then, she quickly returned to bed and collapsed into the embrace of her husband.

“I love you, you know,” he said seriously, spooning her from behind.

“I do know that,” she smiled and kissed his hand. “And I love you. More than you’ll ever know.”

He kissed her shoulder gently and then arranged her against himself, before spreading her pussy with his fingers and nudging his already-hard dick inside. He thrust in slowly, filling her gradually and completely. She sighed contentedly.

“Are you hungry?” he worried.

She shook her head and made herself comfortable on his bicep.

“But I am happy.”

“I am happy if you are happy,” he said to her, and kissed her cheek.

Elain yawned. 

Incredibly, of all the biscuits that she would have selected, she randomly chose ‘cock warming’--her very favourite thing to fall asleep with. It’s almost like she…cheated.

-

Nesta and Cassian

Nesta rolled her hips, seated on Cassian’s knees. Her own knees were tucked against his thighs, pressing tightly into him, holding him immobile.

“You look delicious, Nes,” he ground, his voice choked, as he ran his thick fingers through her long silky hair, though now it was tangled against her back.

Her pussy was dripping his shaft, each fold splayed prettily to accommodate his considerable girth and he couldn't get enough of the sight. Especially with the red of her panties pulled aside haphazardly, reminding Cassian of how impatient she was with him. 

A lock of hair bounced over her round breasts, still covered by the bra cup, but it didn’t stop him from putting his mouth over her puckering nipple and biting.

“Fuck me, Cassian,” she grunted through gritted teeth, holding onto the back of his neck. She ground down on him, taking him inside her gorgeous body wholly, tempting tits swaying freely next to his face. He bit her nipple again, sucking on it through the material, and her head fell forward, pressing into his forehead.

The wet, hot friction between them was almost unbearable, but Cassian held her firmly by the hips, fucking up into her and making her take all of him again and again. It was pure, glorious heaven.

“Gimmie a kiss, sweetheart,” he told her, as he fucked her with rough, deep strokes. This was his favourite Nesta–weakened and compliant, her lips pink and glossy, when he took her mouth in a messy, wet kiss. She keened into him, allowing him full control of her body, sucking on his tongue like he wanted her to–soft and sighing with pleasure. He rocked her steadily, his thrusts deep and punishing, as he caressed her arched back and the peachy cut of her ass. She took him breathlessly, her mouth forming an almost shocked ‘O’ every time he hit that perfect spot inside of her, angling her body just so and making her cry out loudly again and again.

“Cassian. Cassian. Cassian.”

Her head lolled to the side and she closed her eyes, her grip on his neck and shoulders easing, and he held her closer, allowing her to relax and know that he had her. 

“Good fucking girl,” he murmured into her hair, pressing his thumbs into the divots above her ass. “Letting me fuck and breed this perfect pussy.”

At that, Nesta exploded. The squelching sounds of her dick pushing inside her became a staccato of explicit, sultry melody. 

“GOD. Cassian. I love you,” she squealed, as he huffed and grunted with adoration at her words.

The walls of her pussy squeezed him tightly, holding him in an almost painful vise-like grip, as she climaxed all over him, melting into a loud, needy scream. She fell into his chest, pumped continuously and nestled her face into the crook of his neck, sucking on it with desperation. 

Only then did Cassian let go of his iron self control and came inside of her, letting her milk every drop of his seed.

“Beautiful, Nes,” he babbled in her ear. “Take it all. Finally.”

This was perfection.

The way she gripped him and how her pussy pulsed all around his dick was incredible.

Nesta was severely allergic to any hormonal contraceptives, and non-hormonal IUD didn’t work for her, causing constant bleeding and extreme discomfort. So they practised the ‘natural method’ and he never came inside of her. Until tonight. Finally. It was amaz-

“Cassian!!!” she cried out. “What the hell?!? What did you do?!”

She pushed against his chest and stared at him with a horrified expression.

“What did I do?” he exclaimed, alarmed.

He was in fact, still orgasming inside of her.

“What?!” he repeated.

“You came!” she accused him pointlessly.

“Well, yes,” his brow furrowed.

“Inside!” she stated the obvious, like he wasn’t aware.

“Well, yeah. You wanted me to!” he reminded her, as he kissed her lips.

“What? When did I want you to?”

“Nesta,” he sighed. “I know you are blissed out, baby, but you asked me to,”

“Asked you what?!”

“To come inside of you. Calm down, sweetheart.”

“What are you talking about?” she demanded. 

“Stop freaking out. It’s going to be okay.”

“When did I ask you?!” she repeated again.

“The cookie.”

“What cookie?!?!” she screamed.

“The biscuit. That you told me to choose.”

“What about it??!!!” she wiped her face.

“It said Breed Me.”

She stared at him helplessly, mouth open.

Cassian kissed her again and pumped into her deeper, making everything seem inevitable.

“So I bred you,” he shrugged, looking proud of himself. 

-

Fucking Elain and her fucking biscuits.

[sweetmoonstorm]

Uhm I had a one-shot request ;3; because I don't see anything about Caine from TADC it's almost always Jax and I don't mind Jax! But I had an idea for a one-shot with Caine where the reader appears in the digital circus and they look similar to Caine because I adore his design but I was wondering if you could please do a one-shot like that ;v;

-🫧anon

*puts this here and skitters away*

Ofc I can do that dear bubble anon! For quick reference, you mention you want the reader to appear similar to Caine, so here's a quick lil idea-

Reader has a head similar to Caine's, with a mostly humanoid body, but the teeth are more like fangs

Edit during writing : There isn't too much romance(I promise there's a bit) as this is when reader first arrives in the digital circus (I'm more a slow burn person w a couple of exceptions yk?)

(Pic below for reference)

(They can be semi transparent or solid whatever is preferred)

And I imagine reader's eyes to be on top of the mouth like :

(No feet-(unless u want ig but it wont be mentioned in oneshot-))

(May I add they glow in the dark?)

For the ACTUAL oneshot here ya go

It was.... rather dark.

One moment you'd put on a headset, and the next you'd been enveloped in a strange darkness, which pulled, or pushed you to somewhere. You couldn't tell whether it was a pull or a push, and frankly, you weren't quite sure if you actually wanted to anyways.

Around you, you could hear music playing. A feminine voice singing with a soundtrack that likely belonged to a circus of some sort. Whoever was singing was also listing out names, though you couldn't quite hear the names.

Though, the music grew louder and louder until you eventually figured- you were falling. Falling, falling, falling until you landed on something.

The music suddenly stopped, and as you squinted your eyes open, you saw an array of people hovering over you, who seemed really off.

A... periwinkle rabbit man, a.. ragdoll? A jester who seemed panicked, a... person, who was an array of shapes, a chess piece, a king perhaps, and a person in the air with a chattermouth(you thought it was something like that), with eyes in their mouth.

You could hear new voices- likely theirs, chattering over the over, perhaps talking about you. It was mostly confusion and curiosity among the group, with a few annoyed faces that could be seen.

Among the group, there was someone that'd said something along the lines of "A new human arrival!"

All of a sudden, one of the people there got a lil too close for your own comfort, his eyes being different colors and being right in his mouth. You were about to say something, but something else was... off. You felt weird.

Something was very, very wrong.

In a panic, you scrambled away from the onlookers, nearly falling over into.. something.

"Oh no, can't have the new arrival dropping into the cellar so soon!" The one with the chatterteeth for a head exclaimed, gliding... flying? He'd come over to pick you up, lifting you into the air.

You were about to say something, but stopped when you noticed. In this thing he called the 'cellar', there was a multitude of eyes. Neon colored eyes surrounded by black, all staring up at you.

You felt that; if they could attack you- they would've done so by now.

"What the @$#%??" You cursed under your breath- or at least attempted to. In the profanity's stead, some sort of... honking noise came out of your mouth. What type of censor technique was this??

"No foul words allowed in this fine circus, good person!" The man with the chatterteeth for a head added. "This place is meant for people of ALL ages!"

Well, at least he was thinking of the kids out there. Not like getting kidnapped or whatever was 'kid-friendly'.

"Well, isn't there some sorta.... way of getting out of here?" You questioned the man, tapping your foot. The music from before had resumed, being rather faint background noise. If you were to talk loud enough, surely you'd be able to block it out.

The others looked at your awkwardly, one in particular taking a step forward. It was the rag-doll. "Er.... well-" She seemed nervous in a way that screamed "You aren't gonna like this one." Unfortunately, she was right.

Just then, the rabbit had stepped in and shrugged. "Nope." He said, as if he'd been asked a casual question rather than one regarding escape. It seemed as if he couldn't open his mouth, or at least didn't have to in order to talk.

"Jax!" The rag doll hissed. "Don't do what you did with Pomni!"

So, the rabbit was Jax and someone here was Pomni. Alright then. Two names down.

"I, uh..." You started, planning to introduce yourself. You... couldn't.

"Uh...."

Oh, this was very, very bad.

In an attempt to regain your memories, you averted your gaze only to see a mirror, with... something in it. Was... was that... you? Sure you didn't remember what you looked like; but surely you didn't look.... like, that.

Your appearance was akin to the man with the chatterteeth for a head, though your eyes were positioned differently and your teeth were... a bit sharper.

Pretty sharp actually; you were sure you could prick yourself on one of them if you weren't careful enough.

The man with the chatterteeth(that was getting kinda exhausting to repeatedly think) didn't quite acknowledge your appearance being similar to his, though he did have some sort of excitement in those eyes of his. They were two different colors, one green, one blue. Pretty bright too.

"Is..... something wrong?"

The ragdoll asked, seeming concerned for you. Just now(for some reason), you noticed that one of her eyes was replaced with a large blue button. Fit the whole "doll" thing you supposed.

That wasn't exactly the biggest of your worries though.

"I..... why can't I......"

You tried to rack your brain to think of what your name was, and even what you looked like before... this.

You knew you didn't usually look like this, and yet your brain couldn't think up anything else.

"Looks like it's time to pick out a new name for our new arrival!" The man w- Ehem, the man you looked similar to rushed over to you, picking you up and placing you next to a large.... thing.

Sort of like one of those things where if you got three in a row, you'd win the game-

How come you could remember those things but not yourself???

"Who even are you?" You pulled away, looking at the man with confusion.

The man looked at you, his eyes... somehow, getting even brighter. Or maybe it was just you. But something about his eyes, or more like how he seemed very..... fun, to say the least interested you.

Interested you in a way that... er.... these kinda thoughts probably weren't appropriate for the current situation, but he did look.... nice. In a sense.

"I, my dear, am Caine, the ringmaster of this fine circus! Now we shall spin the wheel for your new name!"

"I- what do you mean new na-"

You had started to question th- Caine, but you didn't get an answer as the machine had been started. Apparently you were going to be given a 'new name'?

A little while went by, and maybe two or three names that were terrible or just didn't suit you went by, but at the last spin a name popped up on the thing that you thought would fit you. Caine thought the same as well apparently.

"Hm..... Y/N.... that seems like a suitable name for a fine person as yourself! What do you think, new arrival? Hm?" He curiously questioned, waiting to see if you approved of the name. Well, he was respectful- as in letting you decide your new name.

A green fl-

No let's not right now-

You thoughtfully nodded, with a shrug. "Yea sure, Y/N works well for me."

"Wonderful!" Caine exclaimed, rushing over to you. "Now, allow me to show you over to your room!" He added as he got closer to guide you.

"I, uh, sure, sure." You responded, just going along with the man.

-- -- --

"That's kinda weird." Ragatha murmured, watching as you and Caine explored and talked with each other.

Jax leaned down to be roughly around her shoulder, although she really wasn't that much shorter than he was. "What do you mean, dollface?" Jax asked the ragdoll, knowing she wasn't exactly the biggest fan of that nickname.

"Caine's never really 'guided' anyone through the circus before. It was always usually just us being guided by the people before u- And could you refrain from calling me that?" Ragatha responded, having a delayed reaction to Jax's nickname for her.

Jax was fully aware of what she meant, though.

Caine had always kinda left the responsibility up to the others to guide the newcomers around, rather than helping them out. Perhaps the ringmaster had an... interest in you. That info would be helpful in the future for when he'd mess with you.

"Sure, whatever." Jax said, rather than saying anything about the Caine and Y/N situation. He stretched out his arms, then relaxed back to make another comment.

"Dollface."

"JAX!"

-- -- --

That's it for this oneshot-

Bai-

(Also i just wanna add ik this might be a bit out of character, but I had fun with this one bc silly ringmaster heheh)

~ Sweet

[sneezyonmain]

OC Post- Araneus Cinderfang

vbrit part two: emo twink edition DISCLAIMER: All of my OCs are actually my friend's and I's DnD characters, used with permission. Some details may be a little confusing as I've taken their standard backstories and modified them to fit a modern fantasy setting. I'll list the class for anyone curious, but it won't come into much use unless they're a spellcaster. CW: Mention(s) of parental abuse, PTSD, anxiety, forced mutation/experimentation, homelessness, nsft themes

(Picrew credit to Brightgoat's Bright's Picrew Hell and Baydews' [BAYDEWS' avatar maker!!] V2)

-------

Name: Araneus CInderfang

Race: Half-elf (Shifter)

Age: 22

Sex: Male

Pronouns: He/Him/His

Sexuality: Bisexual (In denial) (this is a common theme with vbrit OCs, I think he's protecting tbh)

Class: Order of the Lycan Blood Hunter

Height: 6'0

Hair Color: Black

Eye Color: Red

Basic Description: Araneus is built like a string bean, standing at a decent height while also being relatively underweight. He has perpetual bags under his eyes that he cannot seem to rid himself of, and dark hair that stays messy regardless of how much he tries to tidy it. He stands with a slouch, and keeps his head down. He's got scars and spots on his pale skin, and unnaturally red eyes. He has pointed ears, and spider-like fangs that are only visible when he lifts his lip to reveal them. He looks far more arachnid-like when transformed, which he doesn't do unless necessary and frankly I don't feel like describing it.

Background: Araneus grew up primarily with his father, who was a prominent professor at a university. Through a series of gruesome experiments throughout the course of his childhood, (which I will not elaborate on due to their upsetting nature), Araneus developed a form of lycanthropy. Specifically, his body mutated to include many spider-like qualities, including fangs and extra insectoid limbs that emerge from his body when transformed. He eventually escaped that situation, and spent a long time homeless and in shelters before moving in with a woman named Aria, who later became his girlfriend. He has severe PTSD and anxiety from the event, and since he was already relatively introverted before he became a "monster", he now rarely ever leaves the house.

Personality: He is very introverted, and much prefers to stay inside all day than to talk to people. He is slow to trust people due to his past, but when he does, he is loyal to a fault. Aside from various comics and watching anime, he loves literature, but doesn't have too many hobbies as he either couldn't do them or didn't have the funds until very recently. He's anxious and closed off but longs for friends and companionship. He doesn't think much about romance, since he has other things to worry about, (that is, before he met his girlfriend). When he does attempt social interaction, he has a very dry sense of humor he uses to compensate for how nervous he is.

Snz Info: He hardly ever gets sick, which is one of the few benefits of his lycanthropy. When he does get sick, however, it hits him like a truck, since the virus has to be quite strong in order to impact him at all. He tries very hard to be self-sufficient when it happens, since he's not used to being able to rely on people, but he really just wants comfort and soup. His heightened sense of smell means his nose is very sensitive to perfume and physical touch. He has a lot of rapid-fire, stifled fits that he can't hold back, but they're breathy and quiet.

Fun Facts:

He loves dogs a whole lot

He's Australian

Would call a woman "Mommy" probably

Has a blood kink

Will gladly explain every sex joke in Hamlet to you

Used to have asthma before he was mutated

Has ear piercings

Dresses emo simply because they were the first clothes he saw at the thrift store once he got out of his bad situation

Has a nipple piercing that he got for his girlfriend, Aria

Ironically, he is severely arachnophobic due to trauma.

Still owns a stuffed spider to help him cope

Needs like four weighted blankets to sleep

[patriciavetinari]

I don't understand the western (school) reading levels. That was not a thing in my country and especially not in my family. This is not a toot my own horn moment or a gifted kid brag. I genuinely thing it's a bad system to restrict books by age.

When I was 8 years old my favorite book was Dumas' Three Musketeers (which was later on my schools mandatory reading list in the 10th fucking grade and I was baffled how NOONE in my class had read it before age of 16). In the time of my parents, appropriate book for 7-12 year old kids were Jules Verne and Robert Stevenson- all the traveling stuff, adventure, tales of foreign lands, not fairy tales and even Tom Sawyer was considered a bit juvenile for a soviet 12 year old.

At 11 I was obsessed with Sherlock Holmes and Rex Stout. I had decided by then already that I disliked Tolstoy very much and didn't feel anything like Dostoevsky described, and much preferred the humane view of Chekhov. I read Bulgakov's Master and Margarita first time at 10 years old, then re-read it every couple of years.

I didn't burn through 'easy' '5th grade level' books - whatever they are even. What, the 'teen' or 'young adult' section in the library? I've never went to those. I burned through Dickens and Gogol and Hugo and Moliere and Wilde and Belyaev and Strugatsky brother's books and Ilf& Petrov. I arrived at Pratchett much later in life, after high school. I went through a h*rry p*tter phase but in between those I read The Garin Death Ray and had loads of fun. I'd read Puzo's Godfather before I read Mary Poppins. I read Zola with more interest than Peter Pan. I might have read some fairy tales one night and switched to 'And then there were none' the next with no issue.

I also think there is no such thing as a book inappropriate for a child. After a child learns to read full sentences, you can give them literally any book and if it's too anything for them – it'll be too boring, they'll put it down anyway and you can tweak it from there. But if it catches their attention and keeps them reading - be it a personal computer manual or Kafka - let them read, yes, even at 5 years old. Let them stumble over unknown words and ideas, and remind them to come and ask you, An Adult TM, or use the dictionary.

The only restriction I might entertain is straight up pornography writing or something, idk, maybe even that is my cultural background speaking. My parents handed me an Angelique book when I was what, 12? 13 maybe? I was bored out of my mind and the sex scenes were stupid as shit and I never finished it because it's frankly Not Good.

So idk. Can't relate. Let kids read whatever. Encourage kids to read whatever. Children's literature is a valuable genre, and this is not to degrade teen or YA fiction or anything, but I think there is nothing wrong with reading a teen fantasy romance or whatever and following week giving Anna Karenina a try. There is no such thing as reading levels I think.

[misfits-of-zaun]

Munday writing detail meme

Repost, don't reblog.

Feel free to edit/add your own parts!

Name: Cónan

Age range: under 18 | between 18 and 25 | 25 and older

Pronouns: they/them

Random fact about me: I really enjoyed Fallout 4 and I'm looking forward to the live-action show being released this month 👀

When it comes to planning threads: I like to wing it completely | I like to plan the start of the thread | I like to plan several key points in the thread | I like to plan every reply | It depends

Pre-established relationships between muses: I enjoy them | I like them occasionally but mostly prefer to play the relationship out | I don't do pre-established relationships

When it comes to replies, I like to: Keep mine short (1-2 paragraphs) | Keep mine to medium length (3 - 6 paragraphs) | Keep my replies long (7+ paragraphs) | It depends

I generally try to reply in: 1 day | 3 days | A week | Within a month | More than a month

I like getting asks for memes I reblogged a long time ago: Yes* | No | Depends

*There's no time limitation on any rp ask memes I've ever reblogged - if you see a rp meme I reblogged seven years ago and you like it, you can send me an ask for it. Just link to whichever meme it's from so that I know the context haha.

I like getting random IC asks from my mutuals: Yes | No | Depends*

*You can send asks, just provide context or be willing to discuss potential scenarios, please, so I know the angle to take with my reply!

I like getting tagged in unplanned starters from my mutuals: Yes | No | Depends*

Is the starter idea based off anything we've discussed before? Is the starter based off a scenario wishlist post you saw I made/a rp prompt I reblogged once? If so, go for it. If not, just pop me a DM and say "hey, I had an idea about X scenario and figured it would be fun to do a thread for it with our characters, would you be down if I wrote up a starter/sent you this meme?"

I like getting getting OOC asks from my mutuals to plan our threads: Yes!* | No | Depends

*(I absolutely love discussing thread ideas and planning things out. Please share your thoughts, don't be afraid to assert your preferences and make suggestions - frankly there is nothing better to me than someone who knows what they want and is keen to collaborate with me to create a fun story we both enjoy!)

I like getting getting OOC asks from my mutuals just to chat about things not related to RP: Yes | No | Depends

I enjoy writing: angst, hurt/comfort, adventure, post-apocalyptic/dystopian AUs, Modern AUs, What-If Scenarios/canon-divergent AUs, crossovers, dark themes, complex relationship dynamics, NSFW themes, slow burns, long term plotlines exploring how adversity drives character development (for better or worse), plotted threads, novella threads

I don't enjoy writing: slice of life, fluff, short-form/rapid-fire rps, sweet wholesome romances with no conflict or wider storyline, Canon x OC romances, improv threads with no OOC communication

My favourite tropes are: redemption arcs, corruption arcs, power struggles, found family, childhood friends to enemies, enemies to lovers, fake relationships, mutual pining, enemies forced to work together

Opinion on shipping (for a specific character or in general): Anyone can ship whatever they want and write whatever they want, I don't care lol. Romance isn't one of my primary interests when it comes to RPing, but if a character dynamic has interesting potential, and someone proposes a compelling plot idea, I'll give a ship a go

¯\ _(ツ)_/¯

I get inspired to write by doing this: listening to music, reading, watching TV, playing video games, discussing headcanons and AU ideas OOC

One of my favourite threads/drabbles/etc:

This thread from Game Of Diplomacy AU* remains to be one of my favourite things I've ever written. It has a high stakes power struggle with tension you can cut with a knife, it has angst and conflict with counterbalancing moments of levity, it is deliciously dark and the clever verbal sparring challenged me in a really refreshing way, keeping me on my toes. I think it contains some of my best writing to date.

*This AU gained a surprisingly big following - it even has its own fanart! Years later my writing partner and I still get occasional asks about it/people still go on like sprees through the threads, which is really sweet. I am forever mindblown and deeply touched that so many people have enjoyed this random niche rarepair story my partner and I wrote for fun.

I'm also very proud of this Arcane rp thread, which sparked off a whole AU that my writing partner and I are still actively developing and enjoying two years later.

A writing partner (or partners!) I've enjoyed writing with: shoutout to @f1shbonez for writing with me for ten years, across four different platforms and over 12 different fandoms. You are the best damn writing partner I've ever had, a true unicorn, a plotting genius, a master wordsmith with razor wit - I have grown so much a writer and as a person because of you. We have created so many incredible stories together that I cherish and reread to this day, and I look forward to all the new stories we will create together 💜

A mutual I want to write with but haven't yet: if we're mutuals, suffice to say that I like your writing style and I'm open to writing with you.

I'm not always the best at getting the ball rolling at the beginning (and sometimes I do forget to reply to messages 🙈 please don't think it's you, I just get too embarrassed to reply after I realise I left it too long, I'm so sorry 💀)

But generally speaking, whether we've never spoken or we spoke a bit 7 months ago and things kind of stalled/fizzled out, you’re always welcome to pop me a message and toss a meme in my inbox.

Tagging: you, reading this post right now. Yes, you. You've been officially tagged.

[crossdressingdeath]

Dorian: Ah, yes. After. Dreadful thing, after. Dorian: Let's see. Assuming one or both of us aren't slaughtered along the way, what do you wish to happen? Dorian: We could go our separate ways, if you prefer. I've been a port in a storm before. I would understand. Alaris: Of course not. I want us to be together as long as we can. Dorian: You're very sentimental for someone who's killed as many people as you have. Alaris: You bring it out in me. Dorian: Sweet Maker, next you'll be making calf eyes at puppies. Dorian: I... don't know what the future holds. For us or anything. That's my honest answer. Dorian: Once Corypheus is defeated, when this is over... I'd like to talk about it more. If you would.

I was originally going to have screenshots for this, but... since this conversation isn't a cutscene (even though it really should be; Alaris, why are you asking about this in the middle of the library, the Skyhold gossip mill is going to lose its goddamn mind) it would've just been a bunch of near-identical images with just the subtitles different in each one, which frankly would be a waste of space. But that's not important. (Also for context just in case because I missed the first line of this conversation, this is the conversation where you ask Dorian what'll happen between the two of you after all this.)

This conversation is just so good. I mean, first off it's just a really cute conversation to be having? I mean, that sort of "where is this relationship going" conversation that's just slightly uncomfortable for everyone involved is just very relatable! It's not something that usually comes up in Dragon Age romances, either, they mostly skip around that awkward early relationship stage where you're still trying to figure it out what with all the very serious shit going on, but here they make time for it because Dorian's romance is the most precious shit.

But it's also just so sweet? I mean, the way Dorian tries to downplay how much this relationship means to him because he's been burned by relationships that turn out to be more casual than he wanted before is very sad, but other than that. How firm Quiz is about wanting to stay together is so good! (The "Of course I want to stay with you" is especially pleasing, it gives me many serotonin with the "Did you have any doubt about that" vibes.) So is Dorian trying to joke about it because all this affection is Difficult, it's incredibly fun and relatable. Also Dorian pointing out just how many people Quiz kills on a regular basis even in such a sweet romance conversation is like. I get it but do you have to bring that up now, babe? Dorian lowkey telling you to stop being so damn cute is also excellent!

And I do like how the conclusion of the conversation is basically "Let's put this conversation on hold until we're reasonably sure we're not going to die within a year", just because it fits really well with Dorian's consistent anxiety over how being in a relationship with the Lord Inquisitor is going to end. He's so worried that it's going to end badly and he'll get his heart broken right from the start, and he seems especially worried that Quiz is going to die given how he responds more badly to Quiz drinking from the Well if romanced because he's scared of what it's going to do to him. So it fits really well that he's basically like "Can we just defer this topic until we have some idea of how this is going to go"! It's not that he doesn't want to fully commit to this as a long-term relationship, he just doesn't want to fully commit when there's such a huge danger that one or both of them could die at any time!

[syekick-powers]

OKAY CENRYX. Eros 1, 2, &4; Philia 1, 3, &4; Storge 1 & 3; Agape 3 &4; Ludus... All of them; Pragma 1, 2, &4; Philautia All of them again!

lord i'm gonna be typing for a while. 😂under a readmore again

Eros - 1. Is your OC romantic in the traditional sense? Do they enjoy giving or receiving gifts of flowers or confectionary? Or are there other courtship traditions from their culture of origin that are important to them?

cenryx is definitely not traditionally romantic. he's so used to thinking of romance as just not being For him that all the associated rituals come across to him as weird, insincere, and kind of nonsensical. he'd prefer to do some kind of gesture with personal significance over rituals that are culturally prescribed.

Eros - 2. How important is sex to them in a relationship? Do they see it as something essential to their happiness? Would they be able to remain in a monogamous relationship with someone they loved without sex?

sex is, in some ways, essential to cenryx's happiness. he has a pretty high libido and functions best with regular sexual activity. but he's also pretty good at divorcing sex from emotional connection. so he could probably be okay with romantic exclusivity in a setup without sex, just not sexual exclusivity. if a partner can give him love but not sex, they need to be okay with him getting sexual satisfaction elsewhere, or else it's just not gonna work out. if he cannot get regular sexual contact with SOMEONE, he is going to eventually get very, very wound-up and unhappy, and tending to the unsatisfied desires by himself will only hold the sexual frustration back for so long before it drives him insane.

Eros - 4. Do they believe in love at first sight? Have they ever developed a crush or romantic (or erotic) fixation upon a stranger based on their appearance alone?

cenryx definitely does not believe in love at first sight, and frankly the idea of it happening to him (in either direction! someone falling in love with him as much as the opposite) scares the living hell out of him. the idea that he (or someone seeing him) could just randomly develop a romantic/sexual fixation just based on sight alone would be a fucking nightmare scenario for him. i think he's had occasional flights of fancy where he's briefly imagined having sex with a particularly attractive stranger, but he does not act on the thoughts pretty much ever.

Philia - 1. Does your OC have a Best Friend? If they do then how long have they known each other and how did they meet? If they don’t then do they have a close group of friends they love equally? Or are they more of a loner?

i mean cenryx IS definitely a loner. ricki is cenryx's best friend, pretty much. he doesn't really have much of a social life outside of crescentia and ricki.

Philia - 3. What qualities does your OC most value in a friend? Loyalty? Shared sense of humour? Or something else?

i think the thing cenryx values is not so much "loyalty" as it is... reliability? if that makes sense? feeling like he can rely on someone even a little bit is an unusual feeling for him, but he'd definitely seek it out in a friendship.

Philia - 4. Is your OC able to build close friendships with people very different from themselves? Perhaps in terms of culture, age or personality?

tbh how different from him you are doesn't matter all that much; cenryx approaches everyone with an equal level of blanket-distrust from the get-go. you can be slotted lower on the ladder of trust if you demonstrate yourself to be especially untrustworthy, but he doesn't distrust people more initially just because they're different from him.

Storge - 1. Did your OC’s parents love them unconditionally? If so then has this helped them feel confident as an adult? If not then how has this affected them? What were the conditions their family attached to their relationship?

i feel like cenryx's dad loved him as much as he could, and genuinely cared for cenryx's emotional well-being and wanted him to be happy--but his dad was a young single parent who was not even remotely ready for the responsibility of parenting a child by himself. i think if his dad had managed to live to see cenryx become an adult, they probably would've had a decent relationship, but that unfortunately doesn't get a chance to happen.

Storge - 3. How far does parental approval (imagined or expressed) impact upon their current sense of self-worth? What might they sacrifice or attempt to achieve in order to ensure the approval of their parents?

when cenryx was a kid he was very driven by parental approval because it was really the only form of social approval he could get in day to day life. as an adult, however, cenryx doesn't really think about whether or not his dad might have been proud of him. it's not something that even occurs to him to consider since he's been without both his parents for so long.

Agape - 3. To what extent does your OC believe in the value (or even existence) of true altruism? Do they see an unselfish concern for the welfare of others as being naïve or foolish? Or as a moral quality to which people should aspire?

cenryx has a hard time believing that true altruism exists. he's been taken advantage of enough that he's wary of most people who claim to help just to help. some part of him would like to believe that genuine altruism exists in some people, but has a hard time finding actual examples of it most of the time. even if he found someone who he truly believed did want to help others just to help, he would have a hard time believing there were lots of others like that person. the idea feels like a vague fantasy, something that's too good to be true.

Agape - 4. Does your OC have a religious faith which emphasizes the importance of a love for all people? If so then do they try to follow these teachings authentically? Or do they just pay lip-service to them? If not then do they follow a more martial or mercantile faith? Or none at all?

he actively refuses to follow any kind of faith and in fact has plenty of religious trauma thanks to the seers. even belief in the gods that are tangibly doing stuff in calaletzi seems ridiculous to him because to him, entrusting any amount of faith into a deity is just another way to get used and taken advantage of--either by other people or the deity themself.

Ludus - 1. Does your OC have any particular favourite chat up lines? If not for themselves then perhaps ones they have suggested to a friend? How effective do these tend to be?

cenryx doesn't flirt with strangers enough to have go-to pickup lines ready. i think he'd feel like the biggest idiot on the planet if he used a pickup line on someone at all, and would immediately feel like the biggest fucking dunce in the galaxy if he was subsequently rejected or otherwise got a disinterested reaction. legitimately in my head he's practically lighting himself on fire just thinking about trying to use a pickup line on a random person.

Ludus - 2. Is your OC particularly skilled at flirting? Have they had to practice this or does it just happen naturally?

he's only really good at flirting if you have an established relationship of some sort with him already--which is a big fucking ask, i know. but like, he doesn't feel comfortable flirting with strangers because he doesn't really know the Social Scripts around flirting and is convinced that if he tried he'd make a fool of himself. but if he already knows someone and what they might like, he feels a bit more comfortable with it. basically, he's not going to flirt with anyone who's a total stranger to him because he doesn't know what will actually work and is too self-conscious to try going out on a limb, but if he already knows you and has an established dynamic... well, he might be half-decent at it.

Ludus - 3. How does your OC feel about one night stands? Have they ever enjoyed a night of passionate romance with a stranger? Is this something they are quite keen on recreationally? Or only something they might engage in under specific circumstances (such as the eve of a battle or after a difficult breakup)?

i mean, they are something he does only engage in under specific circumstances. those circumstances just allow him to have them regularly and anonymously. i'm not sure he'd be okay with a random one night stand with someone who knew who he was and could recognize him somewhere else. but in an anonymous context? he's all over that shit.

Ludus - 4. Who was your OC’s first crush? How do they feel about it now?

in all his fucking life he had a crush on one person as a kid. he was pretty much socially outcast as a kid, but he managed to make one (1) friend. and then, since he was a kid, this one friend became the most important person in his life and he fell head over heels for them, just bc they were nice to him. and when he expressed this to the other kid, they were rather uncomfortable with the intensity of his feelings and told him basically to chill and back off, and this fucked with him so bad. he was still uselessly pining for this childhood crush until he was like. 23. it took most of his entire life to get over this person, and the scars from it have only just barely healed over.

Ludus - 5. What seduction techniques are most likely to be effective when it comes to your OC? Are there some things guaranteed to get them going? Or are they immune to such things?

tbh if he doesn't know you and you try to lay the seduction on him in ANY fashion, he will just be standing there staring at you like ????? trying to figure out what exactly you even want from him that would make you try to seduce him. he will be doing 2000 mental equations to figure out why you're trying to Maliciously Manipulate him into bed and what your end goal could be and what Information you might be trying to get out of him before he'd even come CLOSE to concluding that maybe you just think he's hot and you want to fuck him. that would be like the last possible conclusion on his list.

Pragma - 1. Is your OC in a committed long-term relationship (or relationships)? If so then what has contributed to this relationship lasting so well? If they are not in such a relationship, then is this something that saddens them or which they regret?

i mean cenryx is in a partnership with ricki right now, but it hasn't really lasted long enough to definitively say "this is why it's lasted so long". it's a pretty new thing, relatively--cenryx has known ricki for a while, but this particular phase of their relationship is unexplored.

Pragma - 2. What is the biggest challenge that your OC has had to overcome in a long-term relationship or friendship? What helped them get through this?

when cenryx first moved in with ricki and cress, he was an absolute disaster. like utter smoldering dumpster fire full of half-soaked firecrackers-levels of mental stability: it's all on fire and it smells terrible and shit is randomly exploding sometimes in there with no seeming rhyme or reason. they basically just kinda had to let cenryx exist in their space and offer him whatever support they could (and that he would even accept) while cenryx spent almost all of his energy on trying to bare-knuckle through un-fucking his supremely fucked-up brain. This Was A Roundly Unpleasant Experience For Everyone Involved, but cenryx eventually made enough progress that his relationship with both of them managed to equal out to something resembling a normal friendship. it just required a lot of time (and an immense amount of patience on ricki and cress's parts).

Pragma - 4. After the initial fires of passion cool to some degree, what would keep your OC engaged in a relationship? Shared goals? Similar values? Or contented companionship?

if a person actually manages to earn cenryx's trust, he's sticking the fuck to them even if the initial passion has faded. if he feels like he can actually trust someone without getting backstabbed eventually, he is not going to take that lightly and break it off just because it doesn't feel fresh and new anymore. unless he is directly betrayed or rejected by the person who has earned his trust, he is basically going to latch onto them like a lamprey and not let go.

Philautia - 1. Does your OC have a healthy sense of their own worth and value? Or do they see themselves as failing to live up to their original potential? Perhaps they are convinced of their own sinful or inadequate nature?

i feel like this is kind of a complicated question to answer about cenryx specifically. like. i don't think his sense of self-worth is healthy by any means, but he doesn't like, hate himself? he prioritizes himself above all, but he also has a tendency to be blind to his own positive qualities and generally thinks of himself as an outcast. he doesn't think of himself as terrible, but does believe himself to be unlovable to some extent. not necessarily that he's fundamentally unlovable, he just thinks that The Way He Is is inherently incompatible with most people's wants and needs--the onus of the unlovability is thus shifted to everyone else around him. it's not so much "i am unlovable" so much as it is "other people are unable to love me as i am."

Philautia - 2. Does your OC believe that it is important to love themselves in the first instance? Perhaps in order to be able to give and receive love authentically? Or because they believe first and foremost in “looking after number one”?

he does believe in looking after himself first and foremost. it doesn't have anything to do with him trying to form connections with others, though. his sense of self kind of revolves around the idea of "i am the only person i can truly rely on above all else. other people can come and go, but i need to take care of myself because it's something that only i can truly do. i can't rely on others too much because they could leave or turn against me, so i need to make sure i always have my own back. no one will come to rescue me in my worst moments. i have to rescue myself."

Philautia - 3. Does your OC judge themselves by the same standards as they apply to others? Or are they sometimes hypocritical in condemning others for faults they also possess? Or perhaps they find it easier to forgive others for things that they cannot abide in themselves?

cenryx has a set of social rules he lives by, which are only meant to be followed by himself, but sometimes if other people break his social rules, he will judge them hardcore internally even if he makes no external attempt to hold other people to those rules. most of the time he has enough self-awareness not to condemn someone for a flaw that he knows he has. that won't stop him from roasting someone, though--he'll just focus his insults on qualities that he thinks he and the target of his ire do not share. for the most part. he may judge someone for a quality he is not aware he has, but if someone points out that it's also something he does, he might just shut up and back off because he realizes there's no coming back from that one.

Philautia - 4. Which of your OC’s qualities makes them the most proud? Do they think more people should be like them in this regard? Or do they quite like being rare in possessing it?

i think if there's any quality about himself that he feels even vaguely proud of, it's just the fact that he's survived everything he's been through. he's glad that he managed to keep holding on even when shit seemed utterly hopeless and fucked, and that he's built some kind of new life even after something that he perceived should have screwed him over forever.

Philautia - 5. Has your OC always had the same opinion of themselves or has this changed over time? Have they learned to love themselves - perhaps with the help of others - as their journey progressed? Or have the consequences of their actions only served to erode their sense of self-worth?

cenryx's perception of himself has changed a bit over time. i wouldn't necessarily say it's ALL for the better, but he has learned better how to take care of himself and advocate for himself. certain experiences have eroded his self-worth at times, but he has managed to at least partially bounce back from SOME of them. the graph of his recovery has been kinda messy, but there IS an upward trend at least.

[sserpente]

A/N: Heyho there my lovelies! I’m finally back! I missed posting so much! This Imagine is based on a TikTok I found and what can I say? It inspired me! After this, next up, will be the 20k Special! Enjoy everyone!

Words: 3205 Warnings: colour-blindness

“What if I never find him?” You murmured, glancing at the fruit bowl with a saddened expression. Yellow bananas, green grapes, red apples. To you, they were all different shades of grey. Dull and boring, like you had been sucked into a 30s black-and-white film. Only you didn’t get a cheesy romance out of it.

You had been born with what doctors today would call a ‘remarkably rare, complicated and fascinating condition’, for you had lost all of your colour vision at the age of twelve. You still remembered what the world had looked like before—bright, rich, intense—then someone flicked a switch overnight and all you could still see was grey, grey, grey and greyer. The colours would only ever come back to you once you found the love of your life—your soulmate.

A sigh escaped your lips. Only a few people still existed with this… defect and to make things worse, you had had no idea you were one of them. Not until your twelfth birthday. Society admired and pitied you all the same and yet, being a hopeless romantic, at the end of the day, you longed to finally fall in love.

Tony chuckled. “Heads up. You’re too young to worry about settling down anyway.” He responded cheerfully and pointed at you with a screwdriver in hand. He had been trying to fix the dishwasher for a solid twenty minutes now and for a man who had built himself a pretty much indestructible suit that could fly, it was utterly amusing he couldn’t figure out why it had stopped working.

You were not an Avenger, mind you. The sole reason you were, as of right now, in the Avengers’ kitchen munching on grey chocolate chips was that your best friend, who in turn was friends with Clint’s wife, had managed to flood your shared flat over the weekend. It was utterly inhabitable now and it would take quite a while for the landlord to get it all dried up again—and since insurance would not cover the cost for staying in a hotel, for the time being, Clint’s wife had suggested you’d stay with them—right until Tony Stark had shown up and you had graciously offered you’d come hang out at the Avengers Tower. Okay, technically you had begged him but either way and needless to say, you had jumped at the opportunity and somehow even hoped that you would learn some dirty superhero secrets—but so far, nothing. Nothing but what superheroes did when they were not out and about saving the world. Truth be told, seeing Thor in Hello Kitty pyjamas and witnessing Natasha Romanoff of all people scream watching an Asian horror film had its perks but you had somehow expected for them to be called in for an urgent mission where they required a skill only you had and then they would rely on your help and you would fight and become an Avenger and… your fanfiction had always sounded too good to be true.

“Are you still there? How is that fruit bowl so interesting?” Snapping yourself out of your thoughts, you blinked.

“Sorry. What were you saying?”

“I was saying that…”

“Tony?” It was Bruce who interrupted you two, peeking his head into the kitchen almost timidly. You waved at him and he nodded, yet he failed to reciprocate your smile. Uh-Oh.

“Did something happen?”

The scientist nodded. “You might wanna put on your suit.”

“What happened?”

Bruce pursed his lips. “We’ve located Loki.”

-

Your eyes were still widened by the time you rushed after Tony even after he had told you explicitly (three times, to be exact) to stay put and hide until he had been put in custody.

The Loki. God of Mischief, Thor’s brother, Frost Giant, the I-tried-to-take-over-the-planet-guy. It was exciting, somehow, meeting a villain and oh, would it fuel you for your fan fiction. You almost bumped straight into Thor when they all came to a halt all of a sudden, his body a wall of flesh and muscle and making you grunt in pain—you might as well have hit a brick wall. With his hammer in hand, he ensured no one would approach his dangerous brother closely enough for him to try anything funky.

But the fact that Loki was even more handsome in person and the first villain you ever saw in person when he turned around the corner with a proud and arrogant expression on his face despite his shackles, was not what startled you to the core.

All of a sudden, there were colours. Everywhere.

Your lips parted, the impact of all the pigmentation around you making you dizzy. Loki’s armour was black, his cape was green, his eyes were blue, and his hair reminded you of the plumage of a raven. And your surroundings... The compound was silver now, the sceptre they had taken from him golden. Nauseous, you held on to Thor’s muscly arm for support. The God of Thunder frowned in concern. His eyes were blue too, his hair blonde, his cape red… too… many… colours. You suppressed a gag, overwhelmed by the sudden return of your colour vision.

“Are you okay?” Thor asked.

“G-guys… I can see colours.”

Every single head in the room, including Loki’s, turned in your direction so fast you flinched. Tony’s face was the first to fall in response.

“You are joking, right?”

Mutely, you shook your head. Your eyes locked with Loki’s, electricity rippling through you when they did. His blue irises froze you from the inside out, like each and every one of your limbs failed to resist the magnetic pull you felt towards him, and your cells longed for you to throw yourself into his arms—despite the fact he was handcuffed... and for a good reason too. Swallowing thickly, you forced yourself to look away.

Loki was your soulmate. That was impossible; and quite frankly, the god in question appeared to be thinking the exact same thing.

You chewed on your lower lip, anything to distract yourself from your predicament all the while everyone was still staring at you like you had grown two more heads.

“Take him to the cells, I’ll stay with her.” Clint’s hand on your shoulder did little to console you. Part of you still barely resisted the urge to start at Loki like a succubus, the other… the other was terrified and meant to hide in the archer’s embrace.

You could feel Loki’s blue gaze still resting on you when he led you away from the scene, staring daggers into your back and rendering you speechless until you were finally out of sight and Clint shook your shoulder gently.

“Are you sure it’s not one of the security guards that helped bring him in?”

“No… no, I saw them first. Loki was behind them. It’s… I don’t know how to explain it but somehow, Loki was in colour first, you know what I mean? First him and then, a split second later, everything else was colourful too.”

“And now?”

“Now what?”

“Do you still see in colour now?”

“Of course I do.” Clint sighed and buried his face in his hands.

“So what happens if you don’t… act on this soulmate thing?”

“Nothing. Nothing happens.” You said.

“So you don’t have to… stay close to Loki or anything?”

“No. Not that I know of. But Clint—“

“Good. Because he might find a way to use you against us. Stay away from him. Thor’ll take him back to Asgard soon enough. All we need to do first is find the Tesseract.”

Your lips were pursed when he turned to check on them and if Loki was wreaking havoc while they were trying to get him imprisoned.

Stay away from him? Of course… it was the most reasonable thing to do. Loki was dangerous, a criminal… but was that right? Now that you had found your soulmate in him?

-

You couldn’t get him out of your head that night. Screw the danger, you had to see him. And eventually, your curiosity and that inexplicable and strange pull you felt towards Loki got the better of you. With a deep breath, you threw your covers back and let your bare feet hit the cold floor before quietly tiptoeing out into the dark and empty hallway.

Your blood was rushing in your ears, making you hear things your paranoia and imagination cooked up to the point your heart was pounding in your chest so hard and fast you feared it might jump right out of your ribcage. No one could know, of course. Clint would positively kill you—he, along with Tony, somewhat considered himself responsible for you here. You couldn’t really blame them. If something happened to you, they’d never forgive themselves. You were an innocent civilian, after all.

And now you had been tossed into the greatest fanfiction yet. Shivering, for the cold slowly crept into your bare skin and through the tanktop and shorts you were wearing to sleep, you finally reached the corridor leading to the elevator. The prison cells, a rather new addition to Stark Tower, were located at the very bottom, the cellar, or… what you preferred to call it, a modern dungeon.

You found Loki with his back turned to you in his cell, looking pale through the glass pane. Your heart skipped a beat when he suddenly spoke up.

“I expected you would find a way to come and see me at some point. I’d dare say the Avengers have taken quite the precautions to keep you as far away from me as possible.” He mused. He lifted his chin, approaching the glass window.

It was quite ridiculous to assume that this tiny and meagre prison would keep the Trickster at bay after everything he had proven to be capable of. If only he wanted to, he could shatter that glass with but a flick of his wrist or break the heavy metal door posing as the only barrier between you.

If you were to just… unlock that door to touch him… it would be so easy. Blinking rapidly, you shook your head to chase the thought away.

“Who are you?” He asked and for just a brief moment, you believed to see genuine interest and curiosity sparkling in his stunning blue eyes.

“No one, really. You already know my name, I presume but that’s all there is. I’m not special—I mean, I don’t have superpowers. I’m just a regular human with a rare condition.”

“Oh, I see. Surely you had not hoped for a criminal of all people to be your soulmate then? A murderer? A monster?” His expression hardened.

Yes. But you were not going to tell him that. He was still the person to have made you see colours again, regardless of who he was and what he had done. There must have been a connection between you, you felt it after all! And you were certain that he felt it too.

“Thor will take me back to Asgard and the great King Odin,” he continued, his voice dripping with sarcasm, “will surely have me executed. You will never see me again. So do not worry.”

“I don’t want that.” You finally chirped, barely daring to look him in the eye. His gaze was scrutinising and intimidating… almost as if he was able to see right into your soul with but one single glance.

Loki frowned.

“I bet you’re not happy about this, are you?” A desperate scoff escaped your lips. “I’m not sure I am…” You confessed and sat down on the chair in front of the window. It creaked a little under your weight, the unpleasant sound echoing through the empty hallway.

This man right in front of you was not be trusted and yet, the desire to pour your heart out to him was so strong you felt it like a sea of emotions attempting to drown you.

“You know ever since my twelfth birthday I wondered when I would finally meet my soulmate. Who they would be, what they would be like… and then so many years passed I was beginning to worry I might never see colours again. That I’d be alone and grey for the rest of my life.”

Loki licked his lips and glanced up at you, listening intently to every single word you said.

“Now I met you and they all tell me not to trust you. I mean… I know who you are, I know what you’ve done. I can’t say I’m happy about the fact my soulmate is…” You stopped yourself, breathing in sharply. “What was the universe thinking? You are a god and I’m just… me. We live light-years apart!”

Eventually, after a moment of surprisingly pleasant silence between you, Loki hummed. “The Norns do have interesting ways.” He said, locking his eyes with yours, almost as if he was pondering if… if what? If he could imagine being with you?

“So what should we do? Never speak of it again? Pretend we have never met? I can’t just… come to Asgard with you.” You held your breath when you realised what you were considering here. Loki must have thought the same. He smirked in response—not mockingly but bitterly. “Odin would never allow a mortal on Asgard. If I was to survive my trial, that is.”

“Don’t say that. I don’t care you’re a criminal right now, I just found my soulmate, and I don’t want to lose him again right away, regardless of what happens between us.”

With a start, his face fell. “Nothing will happen between us. That would be unnecessarily cruel, would it not? Your life in the nine realms is but a heartbeat compared to mine.”

“So… this is goodbye?”

Loki hesitated. You noticed by the way his lips slightly parted without a single sound escaping them just yet.

“Yes. This is goodbye.”

-

The fruit bowl had become your new best friend. In the morning, tired and rather absent, you sat at the kitchen table holding on to a steaming mug of coffee all the while studying the different colours of the fruit before you like a complicated Maths formula.

“Did you have a good chat last night?” Clint barked at you when he entered the room, skipping the ‘Good morning’.

“Huh?”

“With Loki?” He probed, raising his eyebrows in an I-already-know-what-you’ve-done manner.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” You said, shaking your head and focusing your gaze on the fruit bowl again. Yellow bananas, green grapes, red apples. In colour.

You flinched when Tony spoke your name. “We saw the footage on our security cameras. You sneaked to his cell last night knowing fully well why you should stay away from him, especially with… with… you know.”

Fuck… the security cameras. You had completely forgotten about those! Of course the legendary Tony Stark would have had security cameras installed all over the damn place!

Busted, you shrugged your shoulders as nonchalantly as you could muster. “I just wanted to talk him. I had to talk to him. I know what you’re all thinking—that he’s evil and brutal and cruel and ruthless… and… and you’re probably right? I… I don’t even know but… he is still my soulmate. I can see colours again because of him for Fuck’s sake! I can’t just… ignore that.”

“I get it. We don’t know what it must feel like. But it’s for the best. We don’t want him to hurt you.”

“I am his soulmate, too. He wouldn’t dare hurt me. You know maybe he’s not the monster you all think he is.”

“Are you saying that because you know him so well after last night or because that is what you want to believe?”

Both. “I just… have a feeling.”

“Right.” Tony clapped his hands. Your name left his lips almost like a plea. “You have to trust us.”

Thor nodded. “Loki is dangerous. You should stay away from him at least until we know he is not still plotting the domination of your planet.”

“What do you mean ‘at least until’? You can stop staying away from him when he’s back on Asgard and out of your reach.” Tony snapped.

“We’re just trying to keep you safe.” Steve intervened. You sighed.

“You know what? I’m getting a headache and I’m still tired, so I’m gonna go back to bed.” That wasn’t even a lie—well, at least the fatigue bit wasn’t. Besides, the blackout curtains in the room Tony let you stay in were heaven-sent.

That was until a loud tumult in the Tower woke you up again, even though you were not sure anymore you had actually fallen asleep once your head hit the soft pillow.

“W—“ Your scream of protest was muffled by a cool palm covering your mouth. You struggled briefly, ripping your eyes wide open in a weak attempt to make out who was assaulting you in the comforting darkness of your room when you suddenly heard a soothing voice shushing you.

“It’s me…”

“L-Loki?” You choked out when he removed his hand again. “Did you… did you break out of your cell?”

“It would seem so. Come.”

“What?”

He tilted his head. “I don’t have much time.”

You stood, throwing the covers back when he already reached for your hand and held it tightly, pulling you with him into the hallway and towards one of the more hidden exists of Stark Tower, a flight of stairs illuminated only by emergency lights.

“W-what are you doing?”

“I am proving to you that I am more than just a criminal.”

“Oh… but… um… where are we going?”

Loki smirked. Your eyes widened when he pulled out the Tesseract seemingly out of nowhere, its blue light glowing brightly in the dark and throwing artistic shadows on his face.

“Hold on tight.”

“Loki…”

The God of Mischief pulled you close, making you gasp. Your chest hit his, his arm wrapping around your waist. With his face only inches from yours, you could feel his warm breath on your lips, and suddenly longed to kiss him.

“You are my soulmate. I am not leaving you behind.”

“What happened to ‘goodbye’?” You chirped.

Loki tilted his head almost threateningly. “You are mine. Don’t you think I wanted to leave this place without looking back?” His expression softened. “But I couldn’t. Because of you.” And you might just be the only woman to ever love me in this way, he added silently.

“B-but… Y-you said Odin will never allow me on Asgard and… and…”

“I never said we were going to Asgard, now was I?”

Your lips parted. Could you trust him? The stranger who had finally made you see colours again? If you told him No, would he let go of you? Would he let you run to Tony and Clint and Nat so they could protect you from him? Swallowing thickly, you met his intense blue gaze and nodded.

Loki smirked and winked. “You are in for an adventure.” And you knew he wasn’t lying. Next thing you knew, you were both hurtled through space and into a shared future.

-

A/N: ☕

[urimaginespimp]

Gorgeous (pt2 of This Love)

Bucky x Elemental Witch Reader x platonic Steve

Setting is during Civil War

Read the prologue here to know about your character’s story.

--------

Midgardians were indeed strange. Natasha and the rest of the team did their best in making sure you would settle well with them, and so far, you were getting the hang of it. They were always amused watching you and Vision try to act what they call “normal.”  

Along with being introduced to everything was also knowing about your personal preferences. You love reading almost all kinds of books, and you found horror movies funny, especially the ones about possessions. You could almost hear the Norns that raised you snort at them. You also love exploring the numerous genres of music they have.  

Steve and you have become quite close, and his favorite pastime were telling you about his life before becoming the Captain America. His stories about a best friend he calls “Bucky” was your favorite. The man you’ve never met reminds you of your favorite men in the romance novels you’ve read – charming, handsome (you assumed), and he sounded kind. You were surprised when Steve told you about finding out that he was alive all this time after being brainwashed by Hydra. The captain still looks like he’s longing to get his friend back.  

Despite being over a century year old, the team treated you like a younger sister because of your naivety. Sam was like the bad influence brother - always teaching you about pranks.  Overall, you were settling just fine in the lifestyle you were only introduced into over a year ago.

The Norns have taught you that challenges and doom were always going to be lurking at every corner. Tony and Steve were currently in disagreement. World leaders were trying to get the team controlled and regulated. An explosion rocked in Vienna during a meeting, and some people are killed among them is the King of a place called Wakanda. Now the authorities were claiming the bomb was planted by the Winter Soldier – the man Steve has told you so much about.  

Now the team was divided, and you didn’t know where to place yourself. Your family was falling apart. You still weren’t considered a Midgardian and could easily leave Earth. You thought about reaching out to Thor, but how could you, when the same man who told you to reach him through e-mail, didn’t even have a phone? And Bruce himself was still nowhere to be found.  

Cap has assembled a team with Sam, Clint, Wanda, and an Ant guy you were yet to meet, to stop another man named Zemo. But by operating outside of authority, they all become renegades. You almost laughed when you heard that in Tony’s side was a Spider guy.  

Everyone was currently at an airport in Stuttgart, Germany. You were sitting on the roof of one of those ramps, looking over the team as Tony was still trying to negotiate with Steve. You noted the man with the metal arm standing next to him. So this must be Bucky. He was much more handsome as you imagined him to be – tall, piercing blue eyes and dark long hair. The girls you’ve met around the city would’ve gushed over him, joking about what they’d like to do with him. And you almost kicked yourself for agreeing with a conversation that hasn't even happen yet.

“You sure you want no part of this, princess?!” Tony called out to you, making everybody’s attention turn your way.

“Frankly I could’ve left, Tony.” You stated, looking over everyone, trying to take in that this may be the last time your family would be in the same room. “But I learned that Midgardians love blowing off steam. I’m just here to make sure nobody gets seriously injured.”  

“She’s not human?” you heard Steve’s friend ask him quietly. You heard him respond that it’s a long story. You shot the man a quick wink and a grin, making him cough in surprise.  

So what if you might have a little crush on the man? Technically, witches your age are still considered mentally young – almost comparable to a Midgardian in her 20s.  

A pitched battle breaks out, and as intended, you were going around making sure that nobody got gravely hurt.  

You were now running alongside Nat.  

“Is it weird that I may have a little crush on Steve’s friend?” you chimed.

“No surprise there. Is that why you refused to take sides?” She asked you, panting.

“Of course not, Nat. Plus you and Wanda are in different teams.”

“And?”

“We women should be sticking together. Leave the men acting childish.” you replied.

“Where’d you learn that?!” She was amused.

“I hang out with drunk women in club bathrooms!”  you exclaimed.  

You honestly thought Nat was intent on stopping Steve, but she took you all by surprise when she suddenly turns on Black Panther, allowing Cap and Bucky time to get in the Quinjet.

“You’re not even gonna introduce me?” you called him out.

“Not really the best time but Y/N, Bucky. Bucky, Y/N.” He hastily answered while getting in.

You and Bucky were staring at each other. He couldn’t quite decide whether to say to you. It was the first time a stranger was looking at him with glimmer in their eyes, as if she was genuinely glad to be introduced. And it was not the appropriate time.  

“I find you incredibly attractive.” You found yourself blurting out while gazing at him. You heard Nat snort behind you, and you almost laughed at how taken back Bucky looked.

“Uh... I’m too old for you.” He awkwardly replied, and you chuckled.

You were about to tell him that you’re older than he’ll ever be, but a groan from T’Challa snapped you all back.

“Alright, time to go. Nice first date, kids.” Steve called out from the pilot.

“I’ll see you again, soldier.” You gave him a genuine smile. He scratched the back of his neck and gave you a shy nod before turning back to take his seat.

“You should ask those girl friends of yours to teach Steve a thing or two with flirting.” Nat commented, giving you a sly smile.  

“Shut up, Nat. I wasn’t flirting.”

--------

It was no surprise when Steve sought you out to help him break the others from prison. The authorities didn’t know what to do with you, and you think it was because you never really broke any rules, you’re not from here, and they might be afraid of angering the god of thunder himself if they even touched you. So without thinking twice, you joined him.  

“So...” you thought about asking him what happened to Bucky.

“Can’t say I’m surprised that even a witch would be crushing on my best friend.” He chuckled. He was now flying you in the Quinjet to god knows where.

“I blame you, Steve. You kept talking about him.” You punched his arm gently.  

“If it helps, I think he finds you beautiful.”  

But before you could respond, your mouth went agape as the view of the forest around you suddenly became a whole other place full of beautiful infrastructures you’ve never seen before.

“Welcome to Wakanda, Y/N.” Steve told you when he noticed you’ve gone quiet.  

--------

Steve and you were welcomed by T’Challa and the princess named Shuri, and they escorted you both to what seemed to be a lab. Shuri was funny and you both hit it off immediately.  

Stopping just outside a bar, Shuri turned to you. “I’m hoping to see more of you, Y/N. Your boyfriend awaits you.” She snickered and left before you could say anything. Steve gave you a sheepish look and told you that when they were asking who he was bringing in for security purposes, he might have told them that you have a crush on their patient.  

Going in, you decided to stop by the doorway to assess everything.

“You sure about this?” You heard Steve asked someone, making you snap at their direction.  

Sitting on a small bed was Bucky. His metal arm was gone, and he was wearing a white top and pants.

“I can’t trust my own mind.” he replied, and turned to where you were standing, giving you a polite smile. “So until they figure out how to get this stuff out of my head, I think going back on there is the best thing for everybody.”

Steve nodded in understanding, and turned to you. “Are you just gonna stand there?” He asked you with a teasing smile.

“That depends if you only brought me here so you could properly embarrass me.” You replied, biting your cheek from smiling. He started walking back towards you with a small smile. Standing face to face, he started speaking a bit more quietly.  

“Well, yes.” He answered and you shook your head at him, chuckling. “But I also wanted to ask you something.”  

“Anything, Steve.” you nodded at him.

“Will... Will you uh- come back here if Shuri calls you that they’re finally waking him up? I’m just going to lay low for a bit, and I don’t know if I’d be still on the run when that happens.” he looked almost embarrassed to even ask you the favor, but before he could start rambling, you surprised him with a hug.  

“You’ve taught me so much, Steve. Of course, I’ll look after your hot friend.” you chuckled to mask that your eyes were brimming with tears. You were going to miss him.

Breaking off from the embrace, Steve cupped your face and wiped a stray tear on your cheek. “Don’t scare him off, okay. I don’t think he’d be able to handle how much bolder women are these days.” you rolled your eyes at him but proceeded to give him a small nod.  

---------

The lab was now preparing to put Bucky into a cryogenic sleep. When Steve left that morning, all he told him was that he was going to meet with a friend who might want to check out Wakanda. He didn’t expect that Steve meant you.  

When he first saw you at the airport, he was taken back to how beautiful you were. He’s seen attractive people around when he was trying to live like a civilian, but there was just something refreshing about you. As soon as it was implied that you weren’t actually from earth and that you were a witch, he settled with that explanation. Maybe being beautiful came with your power.

But then you unexpectedly winked at him and even said you find him attractive so unapologetically. He tried to be sly about asking Steve about you but it was obvious that he caught on and was beaming at him like crazy. He told him about you, how you were raised by Norns, that Thor took back with him to earth, and that you’ve spent the year knowing how to be like the humans.  

“She’s adapted to the world today better than I have, Buck.” Steve smiled at the thought of you. “I think she’d be the perfect teacher for you in the future.”  

He was watching as Steve talked to you by the doorway and when you hugged him and started crying. After Steve comforted you, you turned to look at him again, now a cheeky smile was on your face as you walked towards him.  

“I don’t think we’ve formally met. I’m Y/N.” You offered your hand for him to take.

“I’m James. Or you can call me whatever you’re comfortable with.” Your hand was soft and warm against his.

Steve heard what Bucky told you and flushed pink when he had an inkling to what you were going to respond to that. He could almost see you smirking.

“How about da-”

“Y/N NO.” Steve cut you off, fighting laugh. Bucky looked between the two of you, confused and intrigued at the same time.  

“Steve, I called you that one time.”  

“Those civilian friends of yours really should have more manners.” He shook his head at the memory of you calling him ‘daddy’ one morning after your friends told you to do so.

Turning back to the confused man before you, you gave him a full-blown smile. “I’ll call you by your name, Bucky.”  

“Are you going with Steve?” He asked you.

“Nope. I still might be here once you wake up.”

----------

Main Masterlist   Marvel Masterlist

[maddieinwonder]

A Lesson In Romance #2: Opposites Attract

Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1k

Plot: Reader keeps getting caught in rom-com situations with Spencer Reid. This time, they become friends.

A/N: I can't believe I rewrote this chapter, like, 5 times, but I'm kinda happy with the final result 😌😌😌 Again, my ask is open if you want to send me a trope request!

Masterlist | All chapters here!

-----------

Contrary to popular belief, you've watched your fair share of rom-coms. Or at least enough to understand its three-act structure, even if you didn't understand why people bought into it just yet.

Take the concept of "opposites attract" for example. Two people with completely different interests and personalities are supposedly perfect for each other because they compensate for the other's weaknesses. But it was illogical, you knew this for a fact.

Opposites attract had your college roommate crying herself to sleep when she decided to date a popular jerk-wad. Opposites attract caused your best friend to transfer schools after a cruel Valentine's Day prank. Opposites attract made your dad divorce your mum and leave you and your siblings alone at the ripe age of eleven.

But according to rom-coms, these relationships were worth it. There was nothing sweeter than a shy person complementing a loud bully, or nothing that screamed sexual tension more than a practical joker tormenting a goody-two-shoes.

For your entire life up until this point, you just didn't get it. But then you met Garcia and Morgan, and things began to make sense.

The two of them couldn't be further apart. Derek was a typical player — traditional good looks, muscular, was probably a jock in high school. Penelope, on the other hand, dressed in bright colours and even brighter hair. She seldom left her office — which, for the record, was covered wall to wall with cuteness — and cared about her technology like it was an extension of herself.

At first, you didn't understand why they were so close. They were basically polar opposites. But when one of your first cases with the BAU hit too close to home for the usually cheerful tech analyst, you watched Derek drop everything he was doing to gently support her through it.

This was enough to make you rethink your theory. And if you were being really honest, it was enough to make you yearn for something like that for yourself.

Because the thing is, you hadn't stopped thinking about the shy, awkward man you met at the coffee shop. Even more so now that you were working together, and you found out that he was a certifiable genius with an IQ of 187.

To add to your surprise, you and Spencer weren't opposites — not in any material way, at least. You couldn't say otherwise when you only knew the things that everybody else knew.

Like how the two of you had qualifications in psychology (he had a B.A., you had a PhD), loved Doctor Who (he preferred Tom Baker, but you were partial to David Tennant), and shared a favourite movie genre in science fiction, but specifically space opera (he loved Star Trek, you were nostalgic for Star Wars).

And that was just the beginning.

You begun to realise little things about him every day that you noticed in yourself. The obvious one was your coffee preferences. You pretended not to notice when the team raised their eyebrows at the three full spoons of sugar you added to your coffee everyday.

But you also noticed the way Spencer bounced his leg when he was nervous, or moved his mouth when he was reading at that unbelievable pace.

You watched him so often, in fact, that one day you found yourself doing his trademark awkward smile and you realised your silent observations had gone too far.

In reality, you hadn't spoke to him alone for more than 10 minutes since you joined the team. The two of you were always around other people for some reason or other, and after the first few weeks passed like this, the expiry on talking to him about the coffee shop incident seemingly ran out.

Then one morning, when the coffee machine at work broke down and you were beginning to think this was the start of a very bad day, a cup of coffee was gently placed in front of you.

"Good morning," Spencer greeted, pulling over the chair from his desk to sit next to you. His held his own cup of coffee in one hand.

You recognised the logo as the coffee shop where you met him. The same one you'd been avoiding since you started working here. (Ok, so maybe the reason you hadn't spoken about the incident wasn't entirely due to external forces.)

"What's this for?" You asked, as if you didn't already know.

"A peace offering," he said, locking eyes with you. "I haven't seen you at the coffee shop in three weeks, which coincides exactly with the day we met and your first day at the BAU. I've... I've come to the conclusion that you're avoiding me, but I really hope you won't."

"Why?" You asked, reaching for the warm takeaway cup.

"Because I'd like to get to know you better." He said frankly. You were glad you hadn't taken a sip yet, because you might have spit it out in shock.

In the rom-coms you watched, confessions like these usually happened to a swell of music and dimmed lights, maybe while the two main characters were dancing in each others arms. But under the fluorescent lights at the bureau, you only felt your heart swell to an imaginary soundtrack.

"So would I," you replied, smiling despite yourself. You couldn't believe you just compared a rom-com scenario to real life, but watching Spencer's smile widen at your reply made the critic in you subside. His smile was, strangely, beautiful to you now.

"You're lucky I remembered your order," he teased, his pinkish cheeks weren't beyond your notice.

"Spencer. We share the same coffee order and you have an eidetic memory," you replied dryly.

"I know," he said, and the two of you locked eyes for a moment before breaking into a bout of laughter over the absurdity of your relationship.

Unbeknownst to the two of you, the unusual sight had caught the eyes of the other members in the bullpen. But it was only the next morning when you and Spencer walked into the office with matching cups of coffee, that the team confirmed that something was definitely up.

And they were going to find out what.

-----------

Tag list:

@blue-space-porgs

[crowtrobotx]

Karl Heisenberg for the headcanon thing, of course! Pretty please. :)

My love. My dear. OF COURSE YOU CAN HAVE HEIS CONTENT. This man still has me in a fucking headlock and I suspect always will.

Headcanon A:  realistic

This man has never had a partner. Whether you choose to also believe he’s a virgin is totally up to you (all aboard the sexually inexperienced Karl train) but I refuse to believe with the amount of hatred he has toward the villagers and the fact that people don’t really see him outside his factory that he’s very experienced, if at all. His “family” situation hasn’t allowed him to learn to trust or see the good side of relationships so he’s going to be VERY wary of anyone who wants to love him romantically or platonically - but I think deep down it’s what he really wants and needs. Imagine what might have happened if he had someone, friend or partner, to keep him grounded to his humanity. 🥺

The only way I would see differently is if it becomes canon that he was taken as an adult (ie he left a partner behind or had a normal life prior) or if we assume that he’s been here his whole life and had a wild period in his youth before he snapped out of it. But I really do think at best it’s been ages since he had a friendship let alone a romance and I reject frat boy Heis headcanons. (That’s not to say you don’t create a monster once you’re in a relationship tho 😉)

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious

I really feel like Heis is “the dad and the pet he said he didn’t want” as far as cats/dogs/etc go. Like if a stray cat or dog wanders into the factory or you want to keep an animal he will bitch and whine forever but you will constantly catch him asleep in his busted recliner with the pet on his lap, both snoring away. I also don’t think he has a preference between cats and dogs or whatever - he’s so used to working with cold, hard, metal machines that anything Warm and Fuzzy is going to make him incredibly soft.

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends

There is a 100% chance if you are this man’s S/O that he will make a deliberate attempt to chase you off at least once. I feel strongly that he’d be the type to initially be delighted and overwhelmed at a romantic relationship but at some point soon after he’s going to realize he’s let someone in way too close, where they can hurt him the most, and he’s going to say and potential do something awful to get you to leave. There’s also gonna be some self-loathing and belief that he doesn’t deserve you sprinkled in there. He cannot break up with you himself because he LOVES you so much and it terrifies him, so if he can get you to go of your own free will he will have an easier time dealing with it (or so he thinks.) If YOU leave HIM then he can hate you, right?

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own.

His clothing color palette is extremely earth toned and…. Frankly boring in game, but I think that was largely so he wouldn’t draw attention to himself. (Same deal with the hat/glasses.)

Outside of the Village or in an AU? HAWAIIAN SHIRTS (always unbuttoned, tum on display.) MULTICOLORED SOCKS AND SANDALS. WAY MORE HATS THAN ONE PERSON COULD EVER WEAR. NOVELTY TEES. Absolutely outrageous Grill/Garage Dad Aesthetic.

Also: Heelys. You know he has a pair. He is a menace.

[the-bjd-community-confess]

Dear 'Anime Bad' Anon: I Want To Help I pity your situation, so please have a list of weebshit that isn't moeified, or wherein the cutesy art-style serves a greater purpose. (Note: though they won't be soft marshmallow uguuuu, they may still have issues in other ways. Some may have aged badly with regards to how society views or portrays groups or beliefs, some may have upsetting content and dark themes, and some may simply not be to your taste. Note: Anime is a genre, not a monolith, and the disparaging stereotype that it's all cute girls uwuing over their brother s-s-senpai!!! is as much of a disservice as saying all western movies are just vapid cash grab superhero movie sequels with no inegrity or thought put into them. There are indeed a lot of superhero movies, but they're not all identical schlock (megamind vs venom vs kick-ass),  but even more than that, there is a wealth of creative endeavor just beyond the veil of Marvel's cape: just as there are plenty of good anime if you dig past the isekai high school harem wish fulfillment genre that no one wants to keep making but people keep making because it prints money to a very small demographic of the animation equivalent of a mobile game whale thereby allowing this frankly quite-small industry to work on engaging and worthwhile series where the budget permits, Regardless,)

Mushi-shi: -Pros: gorgeous animation, tranquil vibes, episodic stories so you can cram in an episode between classes or on your lunch break. highly recommended by the literal-who typing this out. -Cons: some themes or stories may cause emotional distress, learning to tell apart Urushibara Yuki's characters is a learning curve.

Baccano-Pros: meticulously-researched 20s-and-30s-era mafia violence with a hint of the supernatural, as a treat, told anachronistically with flair and jazz music. practically made to be binge-watched. the novels are finally getting translated into english as well. -Cons: lots of characters to keep track of, fair bit of blood and violence, some scenes or themes may be upsetting, lots of jumping around between different time periods. See Also: Durarara, another series by Ryōgo Narita with a ton of characters and a plot with more threads an overpriced sheet.

Cowboy Bebop-Pros: incredibly well-regarded, space bounty hunters are cool, episodic series that slowly takes on a plot towards the end, fantastic animation, scoring, and even dub work.  -Cons: some scenes or themes may be uncomfortable, some parts have not aged quite so well, the smart doll version of the main character is ugly, you're gonna carry that weight.

Trigun-Pros: starts lighthearted, develops an increasingly investing plot as the series goes along. fictional westerns are cool. this world is made of love and peace -Cons: some scenes or themes may be upsetting, and probably will be. gun violence is naturally present, but that ain't all of it.

Hellsing (standard or Ultimate. or Abridged)Pros: vampires killing nazis. the original adaptation isn't bad, the second adaptation (ultimate) is generally viewed as an improvement. abridged is a youtube parody version that was so popular the voice actors reference it in convention interviews.Cons: a Lot of violence, even trending to the gorey side of things. Uncomfortable Themes Everywhere, but it's a horror-tinged action series about killing nazis, so that's to be expected. 

Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood-Pros: while the original anime was quite good, the second iteration is a large improvement. does to alchemy what naruto does to ninjas: It's Basically Battle Magic. the plot starts on a strong note and doesn't let up from there. -Cons: there are distressing scenes and themes that may or may not be tolerable to the viewer. there are moments of cheesecake and even an occasional joke or a moeblob here and there, and it's not all doom and all gloom all the time, but this doesn't detract from the abject horror-despair that comes to permeate this series as it progresses. finally understand why people on the internet respond so negatively to the name 'nina'! 

[Mod: many more recs/reviews under the break, worth reading for those who like more obscure anime and animation]

Grave of the Fireflies-Pros: you will remember how to cry. it's a good reminder that one country's 'triumphs' often come at the expense of another country's people.  -Cons: this movie is incredibly dark, do not watch if you are in a bad headspace. see also: Barefoot Gen, a similar tale but this time from the perspective of an actual survivor from Hiroshima.

Michiko to Hatchin-Pros: an actually diverse cast of characters tangled up in a messy and very humanizing story, interspersed with Shinichiro Watanabe's particular flare for adventure. -Cons: some scenes or themes are very likely to be distressing. can be tricky to find, too.

Mo no no Ke (not the ghibli movie, though it is also quite good.) -Pros: incredibly unique art style and pacing that draws heavily from japanese theatre traditions, every screenshot is wallpaper-worthy. -Cons: may cause motion sickness. it is a psychological horror series, and one that does not need blood, nor gore, to cause visceral emotional response in the viewer. scenes and themes will be distressing- as really, that's the point.

Tokyo Godfathers-Pros: a transwoman, a (self-identified) homeless bum, and a runaway teen girl find a newborn in the baby on christmas. incredibly wholesome, somehow, and grounded in reality, with wonderful animation from the tragically late satoshi kon. -Cons: it is grounded in realism, and sometimes, people are dicks. mild transphobia warning, too, but in-universe- the transwoman herself is portrayed with kindness and allowed to be her own (wonderful!!!) person. still, viewer be mindful.

Kino no Tabi (the first series is my preferred, the second is shinier but lacks emotional impact- in my onion.) -Pros: mostly episodic, very unique series that can be gritty where it counts and kind where it matters. -Cons: some scenes or themes might be disturbing. finding it's not easy, either, and unfortunately, i don't think the novels are being translated right now, either.

Spice and Wolf-Pros: it's mostly about economics. there are shenanigans, a harvest god, and a slowly burgeoning romance, sure, but it's still mostly about economics. -Cons: there are moments of cheesecake and comedy, and moments that may cause distress to the viewer. it may or may not be to your taste.

Puella Magi Madoka Magica-Cons: yeah i know, it's moeblobs.  -Pros: you're gonna watch 'em die, though, in case that may interest you. it's quite a good subversion of the magical girl genre overall. somehow volks hasn't made an MDD of anyone from the series and i will never understand how that didn't happen.

Wolf Children: Ame to Yuki-Pros: watch a family grow together as a newly-single mother does her best to raise her twin children after the tragic loss of their father.  -Cons: keep tissues handy. certain scenes or themes may be uncomfortable.

Lupin III (Red Jacket, Ghibli, and the new 3D animation are all A+) pros: heist comedy elevated to an art form before half (or more!) of the people reading this were born. the english dubbed series that used to air on adult swim is a treat. cons: this franchise started in THE SIXTIES, so naturally, some shit has not aged well. certain series (fujiko mine) are darker than others in themes and material. the 3d movie that released recently is an excellent starting point.

Samurai Champloo-Pros: breakdancing samurai, a fascinating roster of characters, and a superb soundtrack by the tragically passed Nujabes. -Cons: it was made in the weird era of the transition from analog to digital animation and so the /series master/ was animated at a painfully low resolution, so even if there's a bluray out there (I haven't looked,) it will be an upscale, which doesn't always look the best. as well, there are scenes and themes that may make the viewer uncomfortable here and there.

The Works of Studio Ghibli Oh, I'm sorry, Ponyo too suffused with childhood wonder for you? My Neighbor Totoro not depressing enough?  In addition to the infamous Grave of the Fireflies, Studio Ghibli has made a wealth of movies that aren't aimed squarely at the kodomo (children's) sector. -Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind: climate change existential dread, the movie -Castle in the Sky: government obsession with obtaining weapons of mass destruction destroys everything beautiful, the movie -Pom Poko: human-caused deforestation and urbanization is destroying the natural world and all that live in it, the movie -Princess Mononoke: industrialization will be the death of everything beautiful in the world, the movie, with a side of sometimes everyone (and no one) is the villain when everyone is simply trying to survive -Howl's Moving Castle: The Physical Manifestation of Depression is a Liquid Ooze, the Movie, also War Is Bad It's not all depressing, but let it never be said that Hayao Miyazaki was subtle. Whisper of the Heart is a good coming-of-age story, Kiki's Delivery Service is a classic, Tales from Earthsea is divisive among fans of Ursula K. Le Guin but I personally liked it. From one studio alone there is a wealth of opportunities.

And that's really the point. These are just some from the top of my head. There are so very many options outside of the cute-girls-doing-cute-things genre that I couldn't list them all if I was here for a week. Or as Madoka Magica so ruthlessly showcases, even series that appear a certain way on the surface might not be what you bargained for once you look into them! These are all (I think) mostly older, mainstream-appeal series that should be easy to track down, too -- there are all kinds of singular animations like The Diary of Tortov Roddle, crowdfunded experiments like KICK-HEART, Masterpiece World Theatre renditions of classic (western) novels that never get talked about, films like A Silent Voice that confront social issues- and of course, series like Rozen Maiden that helped popularize this very hobby!

There is literally an ocean of content to explore from Japanese creators alone, and it opens up even more if you look into works from other parts of Asia- just look at how popular manwha have become, or Chinese animations like Leafie, a Hen Into the Wild! It's a genre unto itself, with all the breadth of content and inter-industry problems that come with it, and without any of the respect that similar art forms have been granted over the years. The way an entire culture's art form is often disparaged, disregarded, and belittled- and by extension, the way most of Asia's animated endeavors are often rolled up into that reductive dismissal along with anime and manga- is honestly Not Great, and there is absolutely a thread of xenophobia that runs through it. The industry has so very many problems (low wages, poor training, overwork of everyone ever, archaic financial modules, the exclusivity and breadth of merchandising necessary to turn a profit and how it leads to consumer burnout and disconnection over time, and yes, the way minors are portrayed not just in anime, but in Japanese media in general- and how much of that is actually bad (some of it is indeed,) and how much if it is cultural difference (I've heard people call the scene where the family in Totoro bathe together problematic because of the nudity, but I've also only heard people say that from the West)

-- none of the actual problems affecting the people who produce this medium are gonna improve when the general response to "animators frequently have to live at home to survive" is "that's what happens when you're a weeb."  It's 5am and I'm gonna point out the problems in the narrative around how we discuss this genre of entertainment because it's important, damn you! Regardless, thank you for coming to my unasked for and overlong TED talk about animation on a doll collecting drama blog, feel free to call me a pathetic weeb etcetera on your way out- but while you do so, might I suggest you also go watch a choice animated series! My current go-to is Bofuri, which is a cute-girls-doing-cute-things moefied isekai series that I refuse to apologize for watching. Be free. (The battle scenes are great and it captures the feeling of learning to play a new MMO with your friends better than most video-game-based anime I've seen in a long, long time. does anyone even still remember .hack? how about serial experiments lain...?)

~Anonymous

[lucky-dreamfisher]

Queer Subtext in The Illusion of Living - Part 3/?

Yes, you read that right, there will be more parts. This book is a gift that keeps on giving.

As Joey had to work at his father’s shop from a young age, he didn’t really have friends, up until he joined the army at 15 and met Donaldson and Eckhart, as well as Nathan Arch. All three of whom aggressively pressured him to comply with heteronormative behavior: bullying him to go on dates with the army girls, and making fun of him for liking girl stuff. 

“The men made fun of me: "Reading a romance there, Drew?" (...) I knew before Donaldson and Eckhart had teased me that supposedly men who were "real men" as someone, maybe Arch, had put it, read about real subjects, nonfiction.” TIOL, page 62

That experience must have left a deep mark on him, because this ‘real man’ complex resurfaces later in TIOL, and even in DCTL:

But his friends also sexted him from across the ocean, which he still recalls fondly decades later:

“Eckhart and Donaldson were still alive, sending me letters with dirty limericks from overseas.” TIOL, page 113

Also worth noting is the difference in how he feels about women asking him to go out versus men doing the same.

“When they were shipped overseas, I genuinely missed them. They were the first gents I'd ever met who could convince me to go out and spend an evening dancing and socializing instead of studying. They showed me that there was some-thing positive about escaping the daily grind that way.

(...)

I had once tried to explain to them that it wasn't that I didn't like girls, or didn't enjoy their company, I just didn't have time for them. I didn't want to go out on nights I needed to stay in.” TIOL, page 28

Girls ask me out = girls bad :(

Boys ask me out = boys hot :)

But then we get to Detective Sinclair, and things get… interesting.

Joey meets Detective Sinclair shortly after leaving the army and moving to New York in 1920, when the man comes to question him about the mysterious murder of his old army colleague. After noting the similarity between the detective and that of Joey’s (mostly gay) neighbors in Greenwich Village, Joey invites him over to his apartment, where they immediately proceed to establish which of them is the alpha male, and it isn’t Joey:

“Once again Detective Adam Sinclair didn't show any sign that he heard me, that he agreed or didn't with my invitation, he just walked into my studio and stood in the middle of the room. He looked around, slowly, taking in the space.”  TIOL, page 99

“Too bad.” He flicked the butt of his second cigarette onto my floor and stepped on it thoughtfully. I wasn't going to tell him how rude that was. I wanted the gig and it was obvious he knew. It was also obvious he wanted me to say something about the cigarette.”  TIOL, page 110

Joey is utterly fascinated by this display of complete lack of respect for him and begs the detective to let him be his apprentice. He lies about having an interest in becoming a detective someday, but in reality he gives no shit about the work, or the case. His interest is solely in Sinclair.

“(...)this fellow fascinated me.” TIOL, page 100

“I rushed over to my one window to watch as he left the building. He was a hulking shadow again, wandering away from my building without a glance backward. A fantastic character really.” TIOL, page 110

“Detective Sinclair didn't say anything more and again I was following him. I didn't know how he chose who to talk to, and by the time the evening was over I'd forgotten to ask. (...) I tried to do my own detective work about the detective as he went about asking questions.” TIOL, page 115

This wouldn’t be the only time he gets instantly smitten by a man with a cigarette and an air of indifference, and the similarity between Sinclair and Sammy’s introduction is pretty interesting:

"And what's a Joey Drew Studios?" asked Sammy, lighting a cigarette from the darkness by the stone wall at the edge of the terrace. Yes, he said it in that dismissive tone. I didn't understand why he needed to talk to me like that.” TIOL, page 188

Joey himself wonders whether the detective’s behavior is a result of him correctly predicting Joey’s… preferences.

“Fascinating. Detective Sinclair's tone was very different here. He was less curt talking to her, there was a softness almost in his speech. It occurred to me that he was attempting to reflect what he saw in her personality to make her more comfortable. Trying to give her what she wanted without her knowing she wanted anything. It made me wonder what trick he'd used with me. I didn't like the idea, but it was a very interesting one.” TIOL, page 188

So the text confirms that Joey has a type, and that type seems to be men, who refuse to give him the attention he craves (and smoke cigarettes, apparently. Resisting the urge to make a joke about phallic symbolism).

And boy, does Joey crave Sinclair’s attention!

You see, even though solving the case was not at all interesting to Joey, there was something else, which was of great importance to him: making sure that Sinclair finds him physically attractive.

“He was memorizing it, adding it to the appendix of his story. I was determined not to be some small character who might not even rate a name. I wasn't going to be a description only, "Tall, lean, handsome young man" or the like.” TIOL, page 100

“He wore his large overcoat and hat like always, his five o'clock shadow too, which made me all the more annoyed that I'd cared to look presentable. Not that I wouldn't have dressed appropriately—such things matter—I just resented I had cared as much as I had about the detective's particular opinion. I got in next to him with-out any conversation. Without really any sign he noticed me at all. He just stared forward as the car drove off, and I was so grumpy from the train ride I was happy to sit in silence.” TIOL, page 129

When senpai doesn’t notice you :(

“I assumed that Detective Sinclair had opinions on everyone, and probably bad opinions. Just like he thought I couldn't look presentable when I most certainly could.” TIOL, page 130

Note that at no point in the story does Sinclair give any indication of his opinion about Joey’s appearance. This is happening entirely inside Joey’s own mind.

In addition to his looks, Joey is also deeply concerned about not appearing childish and weak in front of the detective:

“My eyes were watering now It looked like I was crying and I felt humiliated at the thought.” TIOL, page 122

“I felt even more annoyed now, and rightfully so. Detective Sinclair had said I could come along on his investigations, obviously it had been a lie. It felt very much like he didn't want me there for any of the one-on-ones, like I'd spoil it or something. Quite frankly, I didn’t enjoy being treated like a child this way.

“You can take a seat, Joey," said Detective Sinclair. I rolled my eyes inwardly; nope, did not enjoy being treated like a child at all. "Sit next to me, love," said Mrs. Pepper, enthusiastically petting the spot beside her. I smiled because she was being kind and I did as she requested.” TIOL, page 133

Once again we see a stark contrast in how he reacts to a man offering him a seat vs a woman doing the same. He wants Sinclair to treat him as an equal, an adult, a “real man”, and he doesn’t much care about the opinion of Mrs. Pepper.

And then this happens:

"Detective Sinclair, thank you for your time, (...)You should leave, no one needs you anymore!” Detective Sinclair didn't say anything back. That was when I finally saw the man behind the character. A weak man who needed validation just like the rest of them. (...) I felt uncomfortable, a little disgusted even. Here was a man I'd admired despite it all, and here he was at the end, with nothing. I saw it now, the other illusion: the role of detective he was wearing, indifferent, cold, emotionless. None of it was true. (...)I knew he wanted me to go with him, but I didn't. His part in my story was done now.” TIOL, page 144

I think this moment speaks more about Joey’s character than it does about Sinclair’s. After spending dozens of pages seeking validation and approval from this man, Joey instantly discards him the moment he realizes that Sinclair isn’t actually the living embodiment of this idealized image of a “Real Man” that he has internalized in his formative years. 

Perhaps the thing that initially drove him to Sinclair (and later to Sammy) was the qualities he saw in them, that he wishes he could possess himself. Perhaps he has convinced himself that if he could get these men to recognize him as an equal, a fellow “god”, his “illusion” would finally be complete and he could truly live up to the standards set by the society he was raised in.

[artemisdesari-blog]

Why I Find Tauriel Problematic; An Essay On My Thoughts, Feelings, And Why Ambivalence Has Turned Into Frustration and Distaste

Although I have only been back on the fanfiction horse for about two years, and what a wonderful two years those have been, my brief stint writing fanfiction for The Hobbit has shown me a great deal about the fandom, and one of those things is that Tauriel is something like Marmite. For those unfamiliar with Marmite, it is a British salty yeast extract spread that is either utterly delicious or utterly vile depending on the tastes of the one eating it. The marketing slogan for it is “You either love it or hate it”, so even the manufacturers are aware that enjoyment of their product is a very subjective thing. Tauriel seems to polarise the fandom almost as much as said yeast extract, although there is a little more mid range ambivalence towards her as well. For me, personally, I prefer to pretend that she never existed in the movies at all, something that I will get into at a later date. That ambivalence has, sadly, shifted to distaste.

It is no secret that in popular literature and culture there is a very glaring absence of strong female characters. To the extent that when your Captain Janeways, Samantha Carters, Natasha Romanovs and so on pop up they become worth commenting on. Tolkien, of course, is no saint where this is concerned. It is glaringly obvious that for every Lúthien, Galadriel, Arwen and Eowyn there are dozens of male characters who play far greater roles in the saving of the world. In fact, The Hobbit is without strong female characters entirely, being a novel completely dominated by the male Company of Thorin Oakenshield, including the title character. Considering who Tolkien is supposed to have originally written the tale for, the source myths that he referenced and prevailing attitudes of the time, it is unsurprising. In fact, that characters like Eowyn and Galadriel pop up at all, not discounting Lúthien whose romance with Beren was said to have some inspiration from Tolkien’s own marriage, is impressive all things considered. 

With that in mind, let us consider the matter of Tauriel. She was not in the book, and while I can see why the studio wanted her added to the film they later made decisions about her which sat, and still do sit, very poorly with me. Generally speaking, as a writer, I prefer to try ignoring the fact that she exists in the movies, even if I reference the movie appearances of the dwarves to avoid writing about too many bearded males with white or blue or blond hair. If I do reference her it is usually in passing and with no intention to do anything further with her other than acknowledge that she was added to the cast. Frequently, however, I get asked the questions “Will Kíli and Tauriel be forming an attachment?”. “How do you plan to handle the romance between Kíli and Tauriel given the relationship you’ve been building with X character?”, “Why do you dislike her so much?”. I’ve even been accused of disliking her from the misogynistic view point of “the evil female who corrupts the helpless males,” which is frankly offensive and not at all the case.

To the first two questions: she is not book canon, I do not need to address the so-called romance because there is nothing in Tolkien’s canon to support her existence and thus the romance. To the last question… well, that one is a little more complicated and requires an in depth examination of her introduction, actions and interactions with Kíli, as well as his personality as established over the course of the films since we have precious little to go on in the books.

First, let us look at Kíli. He is a flirt. We know that, we see him flirting with various elves during dinner in Rivendell. Beyond that, however, we see very little of his tastes or preferences, although it is probably fair to assume that he is probably something of a romantic as well. As much as he is a main character, he is still more of a background character compared to Bilbo and Thorin. It is, after all, about the hobbit of the piece. He is young, either just about to turn 77 or not long having done so and that makes him young enough that we get the impression that he and Fíli both are still of an age where it is perfectly natural to idolise their uncle and be desperate for his approval. We see that the few times he is dressed down he feels it very keenly. We also see that he is playful and open, perhaps the most playful and open of all of them except, maybe, Bofur. He is curious, perfectly capable of giving his all when it comes to a fight and Gandalf refers to him as one of Thorin’s best alongside his brother and Dwalin. 

We also see him flip from open and loving, though perhaps infatuated is a better word, to cold and murderous in a moment, so we can probably include passionate in all things in that as well.

Now, let us look at Tauriel. Unlike Kíli, we have no set age for her. We know that she is young for an elf, but the ages given range from somewhere around 600 to 1,400. There is one quote placing her at 1,347 but it is in a sea of conflicting information. Regardless, she is young, she is idealistic and curious. She has never left Mirkwood and has dedicated much of the last few decades to attempting to curb the influx of giant spiders which are spreading from Dol Guldur while arguing with Thranduil; who wants his borders kept clear but refuses to deal with the source of the threat. An attitude not unfamiliar to many of us, sadly. She has the friendship of a prince of Mirkwood but is declared not good enough for him. Also, not an uncommon attitude in those who could be thought of as nobility.

She, like any being that has literally had hundreds of years to practice, is incredibly good with her weapons and pings and flips around like the others of her kind. Given her youth and position we can conclude that she is considered unusually skilled for her age but she still has the advantage of living forever, unless she tires of life or is killed, to keep improving her skills.

Finally, let us look at the history between elves and dwarves. It is not a pretty one. They come together for the sake of occasional trade, or to face the threat of Morgoth, and later Sauron, and their armies, but otherwise they keep to themselves. The dislike is clear on both sides and occurs well before the day Smaug arrived in Erebor, during the First Age in fact. So it will be difficult for this young pair to overcome millennia of bad feeling between their people, some of whom actually remember the events that set the dislike in stone. Legolas and Gimli are later understood to be among only a very, very, few who become close enough to be considered great friends. Much of fandom would probably cheerfully have them be a great deal more given Legolas snuck his dwarf into Valinor after Aragorn’s death.

To the shoe-horned in romance, and I do mean that in the literal sense. Evangeline Lily has been heard in interviews to say that she was wary about the fan reception of Tauriel from the start and that she signed on under the explicit understanding that there would be no romance or love triangle. And at the end of the initial shoot there was not. When they came back for studio shoots and reshoots, however, she was presented with a list of scenes that had been added and some that needed to be reshot to accommodate, you guessed it, a love triangle. She was signed in, she had taken the money, done the work and was boxed into a corner. The love triangle went in and it became the part of the films that polarises the fans the most. Besides, if we want to ship something, we do not need to have it spoon fed to us. Bagginshield is the most popular ship in the fandom and we only get the odd hint towards it here and there. Then look at the multitude of other ships. We did not need to be given something we can make up for ourselves.

That out of the way, let us look at their meeting:

The Company is beset by giant spiders, destined to be dinner, confused and disorientated and more than a little desperate, weakened due to lack of food and the weird miasma of Mirkwood which has been playing havoc with their minds. None of them are in good shape but, as they do, they fight on anyway. They need to survive and reach the mountain so that they can take back their home. Enter the elves, arrows whistling, blades crunching into thick spider exoskeletons, performing all manner of acrobatic leaps and twists to avoid getting bitten or killed. It is impressive, eye-catching even to the older dwarves, and would likely be even more so to a pair of young dwarves like Fíli and Kíli. We do not see Fíli’s reaction, he is too busy frantically looking for his missing brother who has been cornered by a spider. 

Enter Tauriel, who refuses to give him a knife to defend himself with and help her deal with the stragglers because she believes he may well be an enemy. She is, in fact, somewhat derogatory towards him. I would not say that Kíli is charmed, although he is certainly impressed, because were he charmed I do not believe he would have such a massively discontent expression on his face as she takes him back to the others. I suspect that, much like in Rivendell, he would have put more effort into turning on the charm. 

As the dwarves are led away, we get the first indication that Tauriel has noticed him; she comments that he is not entirely unattractive for a dwarf due to his lack of beard and the fact that he is tall for one of their kind. Legolas is unimpressed, but we expect that.

Once they reach the cells we see the dwarves desperately attempting to avoid being locked up. Most of them are attempting to force their way free, Fíli appears to be in the process of having yet more knives removed from his person while he huffs and sulks, and Kíli is watching as he is taken to a cell of his own. A solitary one at that. Fíli and Kíli, it could be argued, are a little bit co-dependant. Not horrendously, but they have been watching out for one another over all the rest from the start, they are brothers after all, and in the life of a dwarf five years is not all that much of an age gap. So we can assume that Kíli does not really want to be locked up on his own, he is a social person regardless it would seem and I suspect that being alone would be a special kind of torture for him. He tries stalling. 

“Aren’t you going to check me? I could have anything down my trousers.”

I’ll give Tauriel this, she is quick witted and this is possibly one of my favourite exchanges of the films. Her reply; “Or nothing” is cool, a little bit cutting and gives no indication of any sort of interest at all. If anything, she seems a little exasperated with all the fuss the lot of them are creating and she simply wants to be done with it. Away Kíli goes and off she goes to report to her king.

Who proceeds to compliment her on her good handling of things so far, order her to make it better faster, reject her proposal for exterminating the source rather than simply dealing with the fallout and then tell her that no matter what else she has done, she is not good enough for his son. Oof. She hesitates before replying, stumbles her way through a response and seems genuinely upset about it. Regardless of whether her feelings for Legolas are of friendship or if she had been hoping for a little more as well, being told something like that had to hurt.

We next see Tauriel patrolling the cells. Some of the dwarves are making noise, most seem pretty resigned, Kíli is fiddling with his promise stone. Which he promptly drops and loses through the bars, only for it to be stopped by Tauriel who demands to know what it is. As you do. Kíli, as you do, replies that it is a curse stone and any who is not a dwarf who looks upon it will suffer greatly. I forget the exact quote, I could look it up but I’m not feeling quite that dedicated to making my point here. Tauriel hesitates. I will not say that she is alarmed, she seems to take his words with a pinch of salt, but she is definitely wary and we have to remember that she is a very young elf who has spent all of her life in Mirkwood. She has not interacted with dwarves, has no reason to have done so and so she has no idea if what he is saying is true or not. And we have no idea how many of the old stories about elves and dwarves she has heard, although we know it is enough for her to have a generally low opinion of them. Her hesitation is enough to cause Kíli to come clean, perhaps fearing that she will take this precious memento of his mother from him. You can see the moment that Tauriel decides to return it, the flicker of surprise that a dwarf would mention a parent with such apparent fondness and it makes me wonder what stories she has been told about dwarves and their emotions. Regardless, she gives it back and the two begin a conversation which starts with Kíli’s opinion on starlight and moves on to become centred around Kíli’s travels. 

It is a good, safe, sensible conversation which would ring no alarm bells. In fact, the only thing that hints towards the idea that we should be looking for a romantic angle is the shot of Legolas looking down upon them with a disgusted sneer. 

This is where I began to feel uneasy with the direction the story was taking. Legolas is clearly jealous, Tauriel has clearly been hurt by the callous words of Thranduil and there was, perhaps, a little bit of flirting going on between the bars. This is Kíli after all. One thing we forget, however, is that she is his jailor. She is in a position of significant power over him. Let us flip the genders. The one behind bars is female, the one who holds the keys and is showing a marked interest in her is male. This is a familiar trope, and one which many of us shudder back from due to the power divide and the vulnerability of the female character, no matter how kind the male one seems. Why, then, do so many of us ignore the reverse scenario? Why is it alright for a woman, or elleth, in a position of power over a male, and especially a young one who might well be looking for a way out and a way to keep his friends and family safe, to pay such marked attention to a male captive?

The answer, of course, is that it is very much not alright, but we let it slide because it is not the reverse and society seems to have this thing for women in power seducing helpless males.

So, they have got their flirt on, spent an unspecified length of time languishing in the cells and now it is time to escape. The book would have us believe that they spent a month or so in the cells and rode their barrels out with relative ease. No gates, orcs, arrows or chases through the rapids. I can understand the movies needing something a little more dramatic. It would have been a dull escape otherwise, but we can already see the shift in Tauriel when the dwarves escape, even though she has known them at most a month, and the film makes it seem like they have only been in there a day or two which is what makes her actions later make even less sense than they would had she known Kíli a month. She hesitates. Her prisoners have escaped, her king is going to be very displeased, and still she hesitates.

I refuse to get into the thing with the morgul arrow, I find it very hard to believe that Sauron would have allowed the use of those and thus tipped others who were not Gandalf, Saruman, Galadriel and Elrond off to the fact that he was on the move. I am not even entirely sure they were a thing in book canon which is neither here nor there. It is believable that Kíli would have been hurt, that is a risk in every combat situation, and I will leave it at that.

The dwarves escape and head to Lake Town with Kíli in increasingly poor shape, Tauriel and Legolas take an orc to Thranduil for questioning which results in the elf king ordering the gates sealed. He wants nothing to do with whatever quarrel is between the orcs and dwarves. I hardly blame him. Legolas and Tauriel both object at different times and get shut down, and Legolas goes to obey his father’s orders, only to realise that Tauriel has already run off after this bloke she hardly knows.

I love Kíli, I do, but at this point he holds about as much of a permanent place in her life as the bloke I started to play Dungeons and Dragons with three months ago does in mine. And she probably knows him about as well as I do that guy.

She is idealistic, young, desperate to see the world. I get that. It is as good a reason as any to want to go out there and save it given that she is, to borrow from Guardians of the Galaxy, one of the idiots who lives in it. But saving the world, or that corner of it, was not what set her off in Thranduil’s throne room. Being told that Kíli was going to die slowly and painfully was. As much as the scene argues that she is going out there to save the world because she believes that they have a responsibility to do so, she has also already shown that Kíli is one of her primary reasons.

Four years ago, my then four year old, looked at this whole mess and said “But Elsa says you can’t marry a man you just met”. Where she got the idea Tauriel wanted to marry Kíli, I do not know, but that observation stuck with me. 

Anyway, because this is getting rambling, stuff happens, the dwarves have a feast, Kíli gets left in Lake Town with Fíli while the rest go on to Erebor and Tauriel fights her way into Bard’s in time to get some athelas to heal Kíli, although not without a little bit of dithering about before hand as she tries to work out what, if anything, she can do to help him. It is not the first time we see the calm, collected and confident character we were introduced to take a backseat before she pulls herself together but it is quite prominent. Kíli, while being healed, spouts off some romantic gibberish about him and Tauriel being worlds apart from one another and wondering if she could have loved him. 

It is very sweet. It is also delirious ramblings. I have said some things while feverish and sick that have had my Significant Other raising his eyebrows at me. It is not meant to be taken really seriously. For all we know, five minutes before he might have proposed marriage to Óin or been hallucinating a fight with Smaug. It is sweet and romantic, as we might believe Kíli to be, but can it be considered a true declaration?

Incidentally, this part is one of the changes that makes me really quite angry. Fíli and Kíli were always supposed to be at Thorin’s side when they entered Erebor. He leaves Kíli, and therefore Fíli, behind with barely a twitch, and callously does so after making him struggle his way to the dock and the waiting boat in front of the population of Lake Town who are waiting to see them off. It raises questions about whether the gold obsession that plagues the line of Durin had already started to set in, but I think it was a decision made to give a greater sense of peril to the scenes in Lake Town when Smaug is razing the place. 

Either way, I do not like it. 

The morning after the night before dawns, Kíli seems none the worse for wear after his near brush with death, though we know that Frodo was heavily weakened after his own such encounter in sixty/eighty years, depending on if you book or film timeline it. He is saying goodbye to Tauriel and effectively tells her he loves her by calling her “amrâlimê” which most of us here know means something to the effect of “my love”. Watch Fíli behind him, rolling his eyes and shaking his head as though this is not the first time he has seen his brother act like this. Fíli is the Darcy to Kíli’s Bingley, except maybe this time it really is not love at all and Fíli is right to be wary and frustrated. It is also the time we see Kíli go from adoring puppy to murder hound in about 0.6 seconds with the arrival of Legolas. This time he is clearly infatuated, but I would still hesitate to say “in love” for a couple of reasons. The first is that they really hardly know each other, and while love at first sight is a wonderful idea it is not necessarily the strongest foundation for a relationship. Especially one with such incredibly strong Romeo and Juliet vibes. The second is that she has saved his life twice at this point. It is a known phenomenon that when someone does such a thing gratitude can be mistaken for powerful love.

In fact, Aidan and Evangeline have both reported to have said that had Kíli survived the pair of them would have very rapidly recognised that this is not love at all. It is gratitude and infatuation and not something which could withstand the judgement of both of their peoples.

Here, they separate, and neither mentions the other at all. Tauriel is cast out of Mirkwood, Legolas vows he will not return without her which is a whole other host of problems on its own, and they go forth to Gundabad to see what the orcs are up to. 

It is bad news, but then these things usually are.

Things go horribly wrong in Erebor, words and Arkenstones are exchanged, hobbits are nearly flung from very high places and battle commences while Dwalin attempts to knock some sense into a gold consumed Thorin. You can see why Kíli will not have had time to think about Tauriel at all.

With the battle joined, it is fight or die. Kíli is unaware that Tauriel is anywhere on the field, or that there is a trap waiting for him in that bloody tower and Tauriel… well she panics. Seeing that Thranduil is intending on withdrawing for the good of his people she stands before him and pulls a weapon on her king demanding that he stay and fight and help the dwarves. If not for the fact that Legolas comes and takes her toward Ravenhill I think Thranduil probably would have crossed a line into kinslaying right there and then. There is only so much disobedience and, frankly, treason one can endure from a subject before something more permanent needs to be done about them.

They get to the tower, Fíli is already dead and Kíli is desperately trying to hold his own against an ambush so that he can avenge his brother. And Tauriel, for some unfathomable reason, races through a tower full of orcs screaming his name. That… that is not how you do these things. At all. By doing that you draw the attention of every creature that is currently free to track you down and kill you. 

Moving on.

Watch them fight against Bolg together. They do not do it well. Kíli is fabulous next to Fíli, and probably Thorin and Dwalin and any other dwarf for that matter. He probably would not do too badly with one of the Men beside him but the elvish style of combat and the dwarf style are very different and it does not mesh well for these two who barely really know each other. Legolas and Gimli fight in many of the same battles, but rarely side by side and they are certainly more in tune with one another than these two are. In this case, Tauriel is definitely panicking and I wonder if she would have done the same if it had been Legolas she was fighting with. 

Somehow I doubt it.

Anyway, eventually they are overwhelmed, longing looks are exchanged and Kíli is killed. Tauriel breaks down to Thranduil who declares that it was clearly real love.

I just, there is so much wrong with this I hardly know where to start. 

A lot of time is dedicated to this addition. It drives a wedge between Thranduil and Legolas that we had no reason to suspect existed, it deprives him of one of his loyal guards and it does absolutely nothing at all to affect the outcome of the quest for Erebor in a positive way. It adds nothing to Kili’s death, it does not make it any more of a tragedy than it is in the book. In fact, if anything I think it takes away from it a little bit. For those not in the know, in the book Thorin is felled on the field, fatally wounded by Bolg who is then crushed to death by Beorn. Fíli and Kíli, who do not wish to see their uncle’s body taken and desecrated, and likely hoping that there was some small chance he could be saved, fight over him as guards until they are overwhelmed and die side by side before help can come. It is, ultimately, a terrible waste of their lives. Thorin lives long enough to apologise to Bilbo in one of the healing tents, much as he does on the side of the mountain in the film, and then he dies. 

So Tauriel has made no positive impact upon the outcome, it could be argued that her moment of hesitating to threaten Thranduil could have been the moments where she and Legolas might have reached the tower fast enough to save possibly Kíli, perhaps even Fíli, we will never know. What we do know is that the addition of the love triangle added extra time which could have been given to any of the rest of the Company, most of whom were given very little at all to do other than carry on in the background. We could have spent more time with Bilbo, who got shunted aside for the Legend of Legolas parts and, of course, the love triangle additions. We did not even get the funeral in the theatrical release!

It seemed to primarily be, well, filler. And the studio’s bizarre opinion that they were not going to get female viewers if they did not stick some form of romance in there. It seemed to almost be an attempt to mirror the Arwen, Aragorn, Eowyn triangle from the Lord of the Rings, except they missed the mark there spectacularly. Arwen knew very well what she was giving up in marrying Aragorn, and she ultimately made the same choice that her uncle had made thousands of years before as had her very nearly ultimate grandmother (bar Melian) before that. Tauriel could have had no concept at all of what she might have been tying herself to. And that does not even get into the political ramifications of it had Kíli survived, or if he and any one or both of Fíli and Thorin survived. 

This next is, of course, speculation, because we have no real way of knowing. 

Tauriel has sacrificed everything, her home and position for some dwarf she hardly knew. They think it is love, but in the coming weeks with Kíli dedicated to the mountain, whether alone as king or with his uncle and/or brother, distance begins to grow. Tauriel is an elf, she may have fought in the battle but she is still not completely trusted. Rumours from those who might have seen her interaction with Thranduil during the battle start to surface. Kíli might overlook them for himself, but could Thorin or Fíli? If they were to send Kíli to do something that Tauriel would not like, could they trust her not to do the same to them as she did to Thranduil? She owes them even less loyalty than she did him and she threw it all to one side in a heartbeat. If Kíli is the only one of the younger two who survived, where does that leave the succession? If he and Tauriel cannot have children together the throne is not secure, even if they could with all the millennia of bad blood between elf and dwarf will the general populace really accept a half elf on the throne? Especially one who might live forever. The answer there is very likely to be no, which will cause more problems further on and puts Dáin and later Thorin III Stonehelm on the throne again. So there was no point saving Kíli if the original timeline would come to pass anyway, if with a few more hurdles and a heap more unrest thrown in. In other words, it would cause a lot more contention than it would solve.

If they did grow apart, as the actors have stated they would, I think Tauriel would have come to resent Kíli for his role in her decisions, even though she was a grown elleth and perfectly capable of reasoning out possible consequences for herself. Evangeline says that Tauriel went back to Mirkwood after the battle and I suspect Thranduil forgave her out of pity and because he knew she had learnt a terrible lesson. I doubt, though, that she ever regained his trust, and I very much doubt she ever rose to any real position within the kingdom again. If Kíli had not died, I suspect her reception would have been less forgiving and more in the nature of “well if it isn’t the consequences of your actions” before being thrown from her home in disgrace.

Either ending is unhappy for her.

This whole diatribe actually makes it sound like I quite like the character, and there are some small parts of her that I do like. The film needed a strong female character, and this is perhaps one of the reasons that one of the more popular genderbends in the fandom is female Bilbo. Because either way, the story still works. And all the initial stuff with Tauriel worked. Her early interactions with Kíli, that snappy comeback which is actually a favourite because as a response to someone intending on unsettling her it is perfect, even that little bit of wanderlust that she lets seep out. Where it falls apart, and where my dislike stems, is the introduction of the love triangle, the huge power imbalance between them when it begins in the dungeons of Mirkwood, the fact that gratitude and love are allowed to blur over the line with no one questioning it. Except, perhaps, Fíli, who is the long suffering older sibling accustomed to his brother becoming infatuated with this or that pretty face or great warrior.

Had it been left at the wanderlust and the whole bit with the delirious confession been done away with, she could have still been great. Had she kept her head a bit better upon seeing Kíli fighting Bolg or even had a material effect on things for good I could possibly, possibly have overlooked how it all began. But that moment in the cells set my squick metre off and coloured my opinion of it from there. And even repeat watching has not helped me to see it in a positive light. It was filler, time wasting, and I find it hard to like a character who was introduced as someone that girls could look up to, and who became, instead, every cliché female love interest that I feared she would. They set her up, let her and us down, and as a result I prefer to pretend she never existed, or gloss over her entirely. 

And because people are always asking me what my problem with her is I’ve grown to despise her. 

Kíli is a grown dwarf, he is perfectly capable of making his own decisions and thinking for himself. Tauriel does not manipulate him into having feelings for her, she seems to be made uncomfortable by the confession in fact, but just as he is capable of thinking for himself, so is she. And I question every decision she made from the moment she locked him behind those bars, because that is where the Tauriel that Kíli met in the spider’s nest begins to vanish. 

She could have been a great character and she did not need a love interest, or to become one, for that to happen. The studio handled her poorly, and that is why I would prefer to ignore the fact that she, and that stupid love triangle, ever existed.

[freddiekluger]

Do you think that if the ghosts sees period dramas set in their time, it will reignite memories of their life?

i think it definitely depends on the accuracy and style of the drama- if they're too poorly researched, any attempts at reverie would be totally disrupted by the historical and visual inaccuracies (think: thomas yelling about the 'roccoco legs' during the byron shoot). of course the other big thing is setting: it's all well and good to watch to a movie set in your time period, but if it's based in a country you've never been to (especially for the older/less privileged ghosts like mary and robin, who probably didn't have much knowledge of the world outside of their continent when they were alive), it's not going to feel particularly familiar.

working on the assumption that we have at least partial historical and geographical accuracy, here's how i think each of the ghosts would respond to

robin: considering how little we actually know about early human history, i don't think robin would be that fussed by any attempt to put that on film- he'd still appreciate a good caveman joke, although he's not a big fan of how stupid every movie assumes they would have been (it's not like they had omega-3 tablets back then!). robin's unspeakably old, and for the most part he seems to have processed through all the parts of his past that he possibly can, and is now committed to enjoying his time at button house as much as he can (a big part of this is his prankster spirit and frankly underrated friendliness), so it would have to take a lot more than a stone age movie to rake up serious conflict.

mary: given her incredibly traumatic death, mary avoids virtually anything that hints of fire or witchcraft which is where things become difficult. i think mary could really enjoy a film set in her time if it follows a working family not dissimilar to her own- it could help her remember some of the positive things from her life, and probably help her feel a lot more seen as she often ends up misunderstood or ignored by the other ghosts (pat initially dismissing mary's advice about the camera work because he didn't think she properly understood what was happening; the ghosts focusing on correcting her speech more than what she actually says). the problem is, almost all movies set in mary's time that follow people from her class end up focusing on the witch trials, which is a BIG no no for her.

humphrey: i think humphrey could really enjoy watching some tudor set films. like mary, he often gets ignored (and straight up left behind), so watching a period film absolutely gives him the opportunity to feel a bit more seen and stew on those long forgotten memories like post-meal games of cards with friends, or the occasional hunting trip when the king came to visit (the trips themselves were more stressful than anything, but mouthing off about them with the king's entourage after he went to bed was always a highlight). humphrey would definitely have a keen eye for inaccuracies, but i don't think they'd bother him. it's just nice to have things be about him for a change (if by him, we mean having all the ghosts watching something that is vaguely related to his alive-period and actually looking to him with questions instead of just using his head as their personal football/security camera/magic 8ball).

kitty: kitty is one of the ghosts who accesses her memories pretty easily- she has no problem with thinking about her life, even when the anecdotes are screamingly sad to anyone listening. so a period film would naturally bring some memories, but i don't know if they'd be anything radical or new- kitty's real growth and drama would come from her leaving behind the rationalisations of what clearly was severe neglect. actually on that note, while not quite kitty's environment, i think she might get a lot out of Sofia Coppola's Marie Antoinette. something about the themes of the loneliness that comes with growing up in high society and only being valued for what your status and your biology can give to your family and your husband (who you likely didn't choose), along with feeling like an outsider and being visibly othered, even by those you outrank, no matter how friendly and approachable and like them you make yourself (while not necessarily linked to the broader themes of familial neglect kitty's character touches on, i think her experiences as a georgian noblewoman of colour would have to have impacted her growing up and also socially- i'd love to hear any thoughts on this from fans of colour, as i'm white and so any theories i could come up with would likely be a poor approximation). and she'd definitely like the pretty dresses and stunning rooms of versailles, and for that i can't blame her.

thomas: most of thomas we sort of got to see in Free Pass- the detail nitpicking, the excitement until a specific trigger from his life (in this case, lord byron, the man thomas considers his greatest enemy, although i’d be curious to know whether byron acually had any idea of thomas thorne’s existence) causes him to go into a full thomas hissy-fit. sure, the emotion is real to him, but he absolutely plays it up, even trying to get humphrey’s body to fetch alison so she can see how ‘upset’ he is (thomas reminds me of a child in this respect).  there’d probably be less of the tantruming for a movie that had already been made, although i’m not so sure about the memory point. The Thomas Thorne Affair sort of brought out thomas’s big Unresolved Life Mystery, and now i think all that’s left for him to work through has got to be a lot more internal. sure, he’d be reminded of a few good old parties, and maybe any romance scenes might trigger some of the sad isabelle/general lost love emotions, but i don’t think they’d be anything particularly spectacular. 

fanny: now fanny would be a real stickler for accuracy. she would be calling out every makeup, decorative, hair, wardrobe, architectural, and lingual failure with the classic lady button judgement in her voice. this is probably half because she can't help herself, but half a measure to distract herself from actually having to pay proper attention and relive her life. i think fanny struggles a lot with no longer running her own household (along with the shifting morals, and fashions, of the modern world), and so to be reminded of everything she can no longer have would be tough. i'm not saying she would long for a time when women didn't have a lot of rights, but she went from a wealthy society woman who held a lot of power in her own sphere to a ghost, unable to touch anything or even be seen by the living (save for the photo glitch), and stuck spending her days with a motley crew of equally frustrating ghosts whom she doesn't always feel respected by (noting that 'respect' to fanny is much the same as deference). she could have it a lot worse, but i think fanny would much prefer to not have to think about her old life.

the captain: the captain is an interesting one. he's one of the few ghosts who actively seeks out media related to his time, although that's within the impersonal war documentary which focuses on facts and mechanics as opposed to day to day realities and feelings. on the one hand, any war film for the captain would be sure to rake up memories of wartime (even if he never made the front- that remains unconfirmed), and the immense grief that comes with watching the people around you slowly stop returning home. the captain is a war fanatic, and has no problem talking about the great battles, victories, and tactics, so i think the heightened emotional states that a film presents would be the key to unlocking the captain's inevitable wartime trauma and going beyond the surface level facts. for that reason, i'd really like the captain to see Peter Weir's Gallipoli. i know it's the wrong war and the wrong country (although the australian's were technically part of the British forces), but i think the overarching themes of the idolisation of the military, the deconstruction of the glory of war, and the intense (bordering on the homoerotic) although never quite realised relationship between Archy and Frank (which, spoiler alert, ends in tragedy), could give the captain a lot in terms of food for thought and unlocking some of those deeper experiences. on the other hand, the captain watching a period film set in the years before his war could be equally interesting- i think they'd play on some his is insecurities and general issues surrounding the difficulty he may have had fitting in with day-to-day life (not just due to his homosexuel répression, but due to his broader issues with fitting in socially which we see through his interactions with both the ghosts and his own forces- some particularly valid fans have used these to headcanon cap as autistic). in short, films would unlock a fair few memories for cap, but even more EMOTIONS.

pat: with pat and julian it gets interesting because while yes, technically any movie set in a non-current time period is a ‘period piece’, you also have to deal with the fact that they’re going to have less impact on their respective ghosts because you also have actual movies from those periods floating around. for this reason, my answers for pat and julian are relatively similar: they wouldnt have any more memories appear than for any film coming from while they were alive. for pat, this means he’d get pretty excited about ones that came from his childhood (pat would be a giant sci fi fan don’t @ me he loves technology), but i think anything that came with too strong a family attachmet, or that he watched in the weeks/months/year leading up to his death might bring out the angry pat we saw in Happy Death Day and Perfect Day. anger is how his inherent death trauma (and the additional loss that comes from the world moving on without you) manifests, so i definitely think that would come out here, even if he isn’t quite able to put his finger on why specific movies make him so angry/irritated. for pat, childhood memories would abound, but the closer we get to his death, there’s less memories but definitely more unresolved emotion.

julian: see my point above about the whole period-film-vs-regular-film thing. julian doesn’t really strike me as a movie person, and i definitely think he wouldn’t give much care to the influx of 80s/90s set british political media (think The Iron Lady etc). in his words, “i don’t really care for politics, and they’re all too busy trying to push their labor propaganda”. he just makes a captain-inspired noise when alison reminds him that he WAS a politician. julian is another character who accesses his memories pretty easily (although they’re usually either horny or at least slightly morally bankrupt), and i honestly find it hard to give a tory emotions so i’m very excited to see how the christmas special manages. julian is a self-centred bloke though, so i think only things that are directly about him could have the power to rake up buried memories and feelings. now i really want to see julian watching a documentary on himself and just getting outraged.

thanks for this one, sorry for the delay!!