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iichaeyj · 2 years

Note

i looove ur writing <33 could u write something with txt x idol!reader?

your relationship with txt as an idol . . . ♡

PAIRING: idol!txt x idol!reader + gn!reader

GENRE: fluff

WARNINGS: not proof read

WORD COUNT: 1.3k

A/N: i wasn't sure if you wanted txt as idols in this, too, but hopefully you like it !! also im sorry it sorta got sloppier at the end, but i was losing ideas </3

YEONJUN

i think you two first met while doing a collab stage together

(yk those stages in award shows where different idols come together and perform)

and the both of you were considered to be the "it" people of your generation

so ofc, it was only natural that you two would be wanted by an award show to showcase both your talents

and that's how you ended up going to HYBE and meeting yeonjun

he was very friendly ofc

and he made sure you were keeping up with the dance

although he seemed very laid back at first, deep inside he was sorta a mess

as famous as he was, you were also extremely popular

in the past few months, you had been in the headlines at least once everyday

people couldn't get enough of you

and frankly, neither could yeonjun

he had watched your fancams and edits

and the fact that you were standing right in front of him, it felt surreal

yeonjun definitely thought that this was what all fans feel when they meet their celebrity crush

but he was so so wrong

during the short few days you had spent together, his heart wouldn't stop racing and soon, he could barely meet your eye

and you noticed this ofc

you thought that the romantic song and dance was putting him off and making him uncomfortable

so you tried to keep things very professional until the performance was over

but he had caught you off guard when he suddenly pulled you aside after performing

he had shyly asked for your number

and you then realized why he had been so nervous around you the past few days

you had to admit, when you two were performing, the way he looked at you made your ears turn bright red

so you agreed, giving him your number

and the rest is history <3

SOOBIN

i think soobin would be your fan

unlike yeonjun, he just admires you as an idol a lot

he mentions your group a lot on lives and things like that, and sometimes even talks about how talented you are

he listens to your songs and learns all the dances

and your fans and his fans are trying to reach you

like they probably made a hashtag trend on twt just for you to notice him

#noticesoobinplz

and ofc you do notice

who wouldn't when soobin was constantly promoting your song, probably more than you

so you probably go on a live and give soobin a shoutout and maybe play a couple txt songs

and soobin's just so happy

i could see him smiling at his phone and giggling plz :((

but soobin doesn't back down ofc and only talks about you more

and at this point, the dating rumors and theories are going wild

like everyone thinks you and soobin are a thing

not that'd he'd mind if you two were

so you probably have to calm things down and stop talking about him so much

and he'd probably have to do the same

but that doesn't stop you from getting his number from a mutual friend and apologizing for all the drama

and he'd probably be freaking out tbh

he couldn't believe he was finally getting the chance to talk to u

and ofc he tells you that it's alright and if anything, he feels bad for starting anything

and if he's feeling really bold, and hopefully he is, he might ask to pay you back for the inconvenience

maybe in the form of an inkigayo sandwich date hangout??

and everything starts from there hehe

BEOMGYU

you two met on a variety show

it was one of those shows where you had to move around and complete tasks and things like that

and you two were placed on a team together

i think he'd be pretty shy at first, but becomes much more open once you start talking more

and he'd be so ready to win the game

like he'd get competitive and hunt other teams

(let's say this is like running man, where you have the nametags in the back that keeps you from being disqualified)

i think he'd be trying to protect you from getting out of the game

like he'd just follow you around, making sure you're doing alright

he's just so sweet :((

i think beomgyu really really likes having fun and running around in these types of games, so if you show him a good time, it'll definitely make him want to keep in touch with you afterward

he might be sorta scared to, though, so you might have to ask him for his number

and the day the episode of the show comes out, i imagine that there's a bunch of articles claiming how cute you two look together

and tbh, seeing all the pictures of you two together would make him flustered

i can already see the other members teasing him

but he didn't mind

if anything, it was a great conversation starter with you that would hopefully get you guys to talk more

TAEHYUN

ok so taehyun

i think you two might meet maybe backstage

and unlike most of the other members, i think taehyun met you backstage and just sorta started a conversation??

like he'd sorta notice you once both your groups were promoting at the same time, and he also might not be afraid to talk to you if he was really that interested

and let's say he is

if you were by yourself idk, getting water or smth, he might get a drink, too, and introduce himself

it'd be rlly casual

but i think it'd start off as a very good friendship

you just keep meeting at the water dispenser every week

and before your promotion ends, he asks for your number to keep in touch

and i just imagine you two saving each other as "water buddy" or something like that

but yeah, a very cute friendship

but as you two talk, you become very very close

like also best friends

and ofc u can't go out together where the public can see you

so you sorta have to stick with texts and maybe the occasional video call

and ofc you both start wanting more

i think unlike the other members, you both start a relationship in a very realistic idol way

like you two can't go out together, but you make it work through backstage hangouts and messages

it's not perfect, but i think taehyun would be really patient

like he'd wait forever until he could go out and proudly declare himself as yours

HUENINGKAI

you met hueningkai backstage while you were talking to his sister, bahiyyih

you had known his sister for a while now, and since you were such good friends, bahiyyih introduced you to him

tbh i think he'd be sorta smitten upon the first meeting

like you looked so cool in your outfit, ready to perform

and he wanted to get to know you better

and maybe he also found you to be rlly cute

so he'd try and talk to you more, maybe say hi in the hallways backstage or smth

but i also think he'd keep missing the opportunity

like you keep getting dragged away by your manager or your members

it'd just be rlly cute i think

he'd be trying so hard to get your attention but it isn't working out

and at that point, he might end up having to get your number from his sister

and when he does, he'd slowly build up a friendship with you and start a relationship discreetly

i think he'd be more afraid than the other members of the consequences of a dating scandal

but ofc he's willing to keep things hidden from the public eye if it meant being with you <3

i just think, similar to the other members, he'd be very attracted to you and your aura

and like taehyun, would keep it very lowkey and private

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sortasirius · 4 years

Text

What the Fuck Happened to the SPN Finale?

Okay so here it is, my Charlie Kelly style manifesto.

Before I get into it, I recognize that I will look like this to many of you, and that’s okay, I understand:

Secondly, your personal Takes about the writers don’t interest me, I don’t need to hear them. This, as I’ll explain, is going to remain a writer positive blog, and that’s the end of it.

Third, and most importantly: some of what I’m going to talk about is fact, and some is highly educated speculation. I will notate what is speculation, just so there’s no confusion or hot takes in my inbox that I’m a conspiracy theorist or stirring shit up for no reason.

A list of what I’ll be discussing

The episode in regards to the rest of the season

The episode issues: length, editing

Scene placement and speculation of scenes cut

The scrubbing of Jack, Cas, Eileen

Network involvement and general timeline of when things were cut

Misha: theories on where he was, official company line, why we can’t expect to hear anything directly

The silence of the cast post episode (in Misha’s case, mid episode) and what this might mean

Jensen speaking with Kripke about the ending: why it doesn’t mean what you might think (also why kripke remained positive on the ending)

Walker, and why this episode had a major shift

Why the network would do this or get involved

Why the writers of the show simply aren’t the bad guys here, and what I “want” out of this post, since I know it’ll get asked

This is very long and under a cut, but I hope you’ll give it a read.

The Episode In Regards to the Rest of the Season

So, I’ve discussed this already here, but it’s the most obvious thing to me, and that’s the way this episode simply doesn’t fit with the rest of the season.

These people in this room have, truly, been nothing but consistent when it comes to their arcs, especially this season, and the marked dropoff in quality for the finale episode is just too sus to discount to me. Dabb’s whole focus has been character-based. In his seasons, we’ve moved far away from MOTW and bro-codependency, the found family taking it’s place. Does it really sit right to anyone that that was all thrown away in literally the last episode of the entire show?

This is speculation on my part, but as a writer myself, there is no way I would be happy or willing to stamp my name on something that I didn’t think would, at the very least, wrap up the season+ character arcs that I and my team had been crafting.

And before anyone comes in here saying, “well GOT did that!” Bruh. The writing was on the wall for GOT long before the final episode. You could tell that the showrunners just wanted to be done (not only from the plot, but from the fact that they lobbied for a shorter season). Miss me with that, it doesn’t apply here. Andrew has, besides Singer and J2, been with the show longer than anyone. He cares, he is meticulous and detailed, and this ending feels worse than anything Bucklemming has ever written, let alone Dabb.

Additionally, I’ve seen a lot of people say that Dabb was never behind Destiel, that it was all Bobo and Meredith and no one else. That is reductive to the point of insult of the work Dabb has done to get this greenlit. This man did not write the s13 Dean grief arc to be slandered like this. That being said, YES, Bobo and Meredith were the leads on the DeanCas arc this season, but ANDREW IS THE SHOWRUNNER, TO GET EVEN THE CONFESSION APPROVED BY THE NETWORK HE WOULD HAVE TO HAVE THEIR BACKS. AND HE DID.

Finale Issues

So, now that we’ve gotten the fact that this episode doesn’t hit on any of the major themes the show was barrelling towards all season, let’s discuss the fact that the episode is just...weird.

Not only is it shorter than any other episode (I think with the intro and the credits/crew thing at the end, it was around 38 mins), but it was also...idk, 90% filler?

One of the lovely humans in the POLOL server did the legwork here, and broke it down:

This is weird, y’all. Most series finales are LONGER than normal (Lost, SOA, Longmire are the ones I can think of off the top of my head), and for the final episode to be this? I saw more than one person point out that we only really needed 19 episodes, what was the point of 20? AND THAT’S EXACTLY IT? WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS FINAL EPISODE IF THIS WAS ALL WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET?

It simply doesn’t make any sense, the first half of the episode was rushed, a final monster hunt gone wrong, but in the second half? Nothing really happened? Sam lived his entire life and Dean just drove around. It doesn’t make sense to have all the emotional arcs left unaddressed in an episode that definitely needed some kind of spark.

Here’s the speculation I have: the episode seemingly went through a lot of changes between the initial inception of the final season and when we actually got it, but I think it would have been passable (as in, we wouldn’t be sitting here asking each other why each arc feels incomplete) until the editing room got ahold of it. The only think that makes this episode make sense is network fuckery. Truly, that is the only thing. It explains the weird, cuts, the rushed pacing of the first half followed by nothing in the second half, the double montages of “Wayward Son” back to back, and Dean just...driving around for the last half of the episode.

Scene Placement and Speculation of Scenes Cut

Before I get into this section, the info of the shots in the episode I have come from a source that @occamshipper got a week or so before the finale. She’s talked about this here.

So here’s what Min was given:

1-5: 1 INT MEN OF LETTERS – DEAN’S ROOM Dean is greeted by Miracle

6-10: 6 INT MEN OF LETTERS – HALLWAY/SAM’S ROOM Sam has his routine

D1 1 11-15: 15 EXT FARM HOUSE Establishing

N1 1/8 16-20: 19 Dad’s journal, marker, drawing of masked man in journal.

21-25: 23 INT IMPALA – PMP Driver picks the music

N2 1 3/8 1,2 26-30: 28pt2 INT BARN: A face from the past

28pt3 Sam and Dean say goodbye

28pt4 Shot early for technical reasons, presumably the overhead shot

N2 31-45: 41 INT MEN OF LETTERS – SAM’S ROOM Sam’s alarm goes off D4 1/8 1 46-60: 56 INT N7glasses for Sam, laptop.

So...it all fits right? It all tracks with the actual episode, where it lands, etc. The issue is between shots 29-40 which were apparently “too big to spoil.” Uh. Where are they? And where’s 28 pt4?

After Dean dies, the next scene is Sam burning him, then shot 31, the shot of his alarm going off.

So. Where are those 11ish shots?

PLUS we have the boards, which are scenes we KNOW were actually shot:

As well as scenes for 20 that were shot in 19.

It’s just...weird, it’s weird and again hits on the fact that the episode is so short and like 80% montage.

The Scrubbing of Jack, Cas, and Eileen

So now we have to reckon with the fact that Eileen was last mentioned by Sam after she got snapped by Chuck, Jack’s last mention is that he’s off being God somewhere, and Cas’ last mention is a ~knowing look~ between Dean and Bobby.

I’m sorry, make it make sense:

???????? That’s the end if it? They don’t need to be discussed after this??? It’s just simply not something a writer would do, they would not introduce these characters, these arcs, without thinking there’s going to be some kind of follow through here.

So not only were three major characters (including two leads and both of the original characters’ love interests) completely wiped from the finale episode, it was as though Sam and Dean never even needed them, which just...ain’t it.

So why Eileen and Jack too? Why not just take Cas out of it if they were afraid of the gay? Because, ultimately, the episode went back to Kripke’s original story: just the bros, they only need each other and no one else. They don’t want anyone else, they don’t need anyone else. Easier to go back to something they knew was successful than trust the writers and their audience and take a big leap.

Alex even said he shot for 20 with “some of the guys” here. What happened to that footage?

The complete 180 of it all still shocks me, I still cannot believe that we were essentially at the finish line, and the network just stopped short, and decided to go run another race, at the expense of the arc of this fifteen year legacy show.

Network Involvement and When Things Were Cut

Okay, now into the juicy stuff.

So I’ve pretty well established that network fuckery is clear, but how much did they get involved, what was the original intent?

Well again, we may never actually know what Andrew’s original script was, but I think, at the least, it would involve Dean speaking his truth to Cas and Sam living a life with Eileen.

Now, it seems today, that Misha said that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale in one iteration of the script, and while initially my brain was like “that truly makes no sense and he’s either straight up lying or telling a half truth,” I think what may be happening is Misha talking about as much as he can right now.

So Jimmy right. Weird as fuck. Why would he been in the Roadhouse and not Cas? My current thought (this is about as reachy as I’ll get) is that Jimmy had no lines, could he have been in the Roadhouse as a red herring, like it said “Jimmy” in the script but it was just Cas in human clothes, a way to get around the network saying Cas couldn’t be in the final scene. Also, you’ll notice that Misha didn’t say that Cas wasn’t supposed to be in the ep at all, just Jimmy in the last scene.

All this to say, there have clearly been multiple versions of the script, getting lighter and lighter with Cas and Eileen as the network pulled further and further back. Remember, Dabb has to get things approved before they get shot, and if the network kept asking and asking and asking to cut Cas and Eileen, he had to find a way to work around it. Granted, I still think that if we had been able to get a Dabb script that wasn’t torn to shreds in editing, it wouldn’t be so bad. It may not be what a lot of us wanted (Dean speaking his truth to Cas and a reciprocation), but doing everything he could to give it to us in subtext or visual clues.

Plus, in all honesty, my man can’t keep his story straight anyway. He said twice in his panel that the Empty and offscreen Heaven ending weren’t his original ending either.

In addition, remember that Jensen did ADR post episode 18, AND said in a meet and greet last weekend that Dean’s reaction to Cas’ confession was “cut down.” (Source here). Many of us clowns got excited when we first heard about ADR, because we thought it would be upping the ante on Dean’s reaction, but I remember being a little sus when it was just crying. My speculation on that is that they cut out Dean actually SAYING something, @winchestersingerautorepair spoke about that here.

The biggest sins were, in my opinion, committed during editing, where the network got too gun shy and sliced the episode until it was nothing but a heartless bro-fest of a finale, not mentioning anything about the other major characters that we all love, and letting the boys just suffer in separation until Sam died and finally joined Dean in Heaven. The editing came by cutting all the major emotional beats between anyone other than Dean and Sam, leaving the skeleton of the story intact, just shorter and less...poignant than it was ever supposed to be.

Misha

We know Misha was in Vancouver, we know he quarantined, but we also know he wasn’t in the final scene, when he spoke about being in the last moment of the show months ago. We were not crazy, he was there, he quarantined, and, in all likelihood (speculation but fitting with the timeline), he actually may have shot something (not much, but something).

I have sources here, here, here, and here showing where Misha was at that time.

Remember, the man was completely open about coming back until they finished shooting (look at this thread). The switch happened, just like everything else, halfway through them shooting.

Please also remember Jake Abel posting his “Where’s Misha” video here. Jake isn’t malicious, he isn’t being nasty here. Misha was there, and everyone that’s trying to convince people he’s wasn’t just...isn’t telling the truth about it.

This is one of the things that makes me really mad, because they’re literally attempting to gaslight people into thinking, “oh we were totally wrong he was never supposed to be there” WHEN HE WAS THERE, WE KNOW HE WAS THERE.

So we’ve already heard from several people (Meghan Fitzmartin, Jay, a PA on the set of 19 (WHO WAS NOT WORKING FOR 20), Misha himself) that this was all down to Covid restrictions. Ultimately, as this post says, we’ve heard FIVE versions of where Misha was. None of it makes sense, but the Covid protocol seems to be the company line that others are repeating.

You may ask: why? Why lie to all of us when we have questions? Why, in Jay’s case, say that we’re all spreading false lies to stir up trouble, when we just have questions and things that do not make sense. Simply? Warner Brothers is absolutely massive. These people have their careers to protect and are likely all under NDAs. They want to work for WB again and don’t want to burn bridges, including Misha. It sucks, but that’s why it’s unlikely that we’ll hear someone come out and say, “yeah we’re lying to you.”

Silence of the Cast Post Episode

So this is...probably the worst part of all this, at least in my opinion.

The guys had all been pretty excited about the end of the show (especially Jared, but Jensen’s panel last week was Jensen as happy and jokey and positive as I’ve ever seen him. He was so excited about episode 18, about what it meant for Dean and for Cas, and I just cannot buy that he would have been that excited unless he thought there was something more in the episode.

Misha live-tweeted the episode, and was watching it with his kids. It’s well known that Misha and the kids don’t watch the show because it’s too scary, and let’s ask ourselves, why would he have them watch an episode that he’s barely even mentioned in?

He also stopped live-tweeting at a very specific point in the episode (Dean’s death) and has not mentioned Supernatural since then.

None of them, not Jared, Jensen, Misha, or even Alex, said anything about the episode for nearly 36 hours, when Jensen posted a salty photo on instagram. It’s just...not what you’d expect for the end of a 15 year show, when the cast and crew are so close to the fans, so close to each other.

My theory? They didn’t know. They thought Misha was, at least, going to be in the episode in some way, and when he wasn’t, they decided not to say anything.

You really think that Jensen “Heller” Ackles would have been so excited about the end of the show last week if he thought Cas wasn’t going to be in it at all? Nah son, doesn’t make any sense.

Even today, in Jared and Misha’s panels, they seemed sad and...more than a little careful, both saying that there were things they couldn’t say, both talking around things that we all have questions on.

Jensen Speaking with Kripke

So this is where a lot of people are getting fodder to take shots at the writers, saying that Jensen hated it from the beginning, but I don’t think so. I actually think I know what Jensen went to him about, and it wasn’t the lack of Cas or the weird pacing or the montages (which I don’t think were there when Jensen got the script); I think it was the manner of Dean’s death.

I know a lot of people were upset about that, upset with how...normal it was, coming off an episode where they literally beat God. I actually didn’t mind it, I thought it was an interesting thematic take to be like: you can be a hero all your life, but sometimes shit happens, and you just die.

But imagine how hard that was for Jensen to read. He would run to Kripke for that, because for him, Dean dying by being impaled by a piece of rebar had to be tough to swallow.

So, why didn’t Kripke say that? Why didn’t he say, “oh well he had a problem with Dean’s death, none of that other stuff was in the script.”

Guys. Why would he get involved? He’s not going to burn bridges any more than anyone else is. He said the ending was good because it’s the easy thing to do, it’s simple, will cause him no problems in his career, and he can just ignore the people trying to engage with him on it.

Walker

Something else to talk about is the major shift this episode had from the rest of the season: the shift from Dean to Sam. I am NOT saying that Sam isn’t important, he definitely, absolutely is, but it was DEAN who really needed to wrap up his arc, Sam just needed to move on, get married to Eileen, become the leader he was always meant to. So what changed? What was with the shirtless scene, the Austin number and random case there, most of the episode being heavily Sam focused, going through his entire life in a montage?

Anyone else notice the 375 Walker promos, or Jared’s little spiel about Walker and how he hoped SPN fans would “come along for the ride.”

It’s...kinda obvious? CW wanted to appeal to who they think the key demographic of SPN and Walker is: rural areas in the South. It would explain a lot, why so much editing, why so Sam focused, the Austin number, the number of Walker promos, all of it.

I’m not saying this is fact, I don’t know that it is, but it is a little suspicious that even in Jared’s panel today, he talked A LOT about Walker and how he hopes SPN fans will watch it.

Why Would the Network Get Involved?

Simply put: $$$

If they think Walker can be the new SPN, and that those crazy SPN fans liked it originally, it’s a lot safer to go with the “original intent” of the show than do something risky (like making one of your two original leads queer).

And? They don’t care. They don’t care that the episode didn’t make sense, they don’t care that all the emotional arcs were left hanging, they don’t care by (potentially) smashing together two of Dean’s monologues (one to Sam, one to Cas) that it came of as...gross. ( @curioussubjects wrote a beautiful post showing how part of that death speech was likely meant for Dean here). They don’t care, they never have, they just want to make their money and move on from the too-loud fandom that fought for representation too hard for too long.

It can’t help but feel insidious, which, honestly, it might be, but it really all comes down to the next cash cow, which, they think, is Walker, even at the cost of the fifteen year legacy show.

The Writers and What I Want

So here it is, all this weird, sus shit laid out on the line. And you know what? To me, there is no way to blame the writers, because they didn’t want this.

I don’t think Dabb and Bobo would have gone ahead with the confession in 18 without thinking that there would be some closure to that arc, they wouldn’t have done that not only to the fans, but for the sake of their own story as well: no writer wants to start something that they can’t finish. (And this applies to both Cas and Eileen).

Here’s a basic rundown of what I think happened: they had a clear arc from 18-20, ending in reciprocation at some level from Dean, Sam marrying Eileen, Hunter Sam as the new Bobby, Dean in heaven with Cas and big roadhouse reunion at the end. Covid prevented a good amount of that. Network had to stare at big gay 18 for six months, got cold feet. Thought about Walker, target audience and alienation of the rural areas if it went full gay. Misha quarantined and likely shot something (not much), he was then cut by execs and went home. They likely added in lines referencing Eileen and Cas to make it clear but more subtextual. They wrap, editing gets it and hacks it to pieces, so we get a shorter episode that’s mostly montages and jarringly bro-centric with nothing else. Arcs are left hanging. Dabb gets episode but it’s too late, there’s nothing he can do. Actors aren’t told so they can continue to do positive PR for the ending, they all found out at the same time we did: hence almost complete silence about the finale.

And you know what? They warned us. I talked about it here, but they’ve been telling us all season that Chuck wasn’t the writer, he’s the network. I don’t think, still, that they thought it would be cut up like this, into something so unsalvageable that it’s been panned by almost everyone, even people who didn’t care much about Dean and Cas.

Finally, a masterpiece can be ruined by editing, and while I’m not sure even the script they ended up shooting on was a masterpiece (due to the network meddling already), but to me it’s blatantly obvious that it’s no one but the network that caused this, that took away closure for Dean, Cas, and even Sam.

So what do I want? Nothing really, there’s nothing we can do, but I wrote this mostly to show people that the writers are not your enemy. In fact, to the people trashing them? You’re doing exactly what the CW wants you to: blame the obvious targets, blame Misha, blame Jensen and Jared, blame Dabb. Scream and yell at them on Twitter and about how the show is ruined because of them. The network keeps their engagement levels high, they don’t get as targeted for their behavior, and just keep moving along.

Just, please, think about who did this, Mourn the show, be angry, but not at the people who fought tooth and nail for this for literal years, not the people who wanted it more than we did, not the people who cannot say anything because of their careers and the NDAs they’re bound by.

Someone is going to spill eventually, but until then, we just have to wait, and continue to be loud.

#my writing #my meta #supernatural #spn #spn finale trash fire #MY MANIFESTO IS DONE

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lightsovermonaco · 3 years

Text

Speed and Stress: Part 2

Masterlist

Thank you to @acollectionofficsandshit for betaing, your comments on this one were unhinged gold

Word Count: 3.1k

Recommended Vibes: “Perfect Day” by Tundra Beats

Part 1

Your brother was late. Not that anyone was surprised.

“Got the time mixed up,” he says as you climb into his absurdly tall truck. Living in Texas for three years had turned him into somewhat of a country boy, though not enough that he forgot his upbringing. He was still a blue blooded Los Angeles boy, just with a love for trucks and longhorn cattle.

“At least I wasn’t waiting for an hour this time,” you say and sling your bag to the backseat. Deciding to get right to the good stuff, you clasp your hands together. “So! I have some news.”

Hunter grins at you. “You finally found a job?”

You roll your eyes and shoot him a pointed look. “No, dipshit. Better than that. I got us paddock passes for the whole weekend.”

“WHAT?” He jerks the wheel, horns honking at you as other drivers swerve. You grab the dash to steady yourself, laughing at his outburst. “Do you know how hard it was for me to get general admission tickets? How the hell did you get paddock passes?”

“May have met someone pretty high up at McLaren in Los Angeles,” you say, examining your nails.

“Like, Zak Brown? You met Zak Brown?” Hunter was such a fan boy, you had to laugh. His love for McLaren ran so deep he practically bled blue and orange. The only reason you watched the sport was because of him shoving it down your throat for years, but damn if you weren't glad for it.

“Daniel Ricciardo.”

Hunter choked on air but managed to stay in his lane this time. “And you waited until now to tell me?”

“I didn’t know it was him when I met him! He was on a motorcycle and I stopped to help film a tiktok and then-”

“Of course you’d stop,” he mutters, shaking his head. “You’re a sucker for bikes.”

“Yeah well, lucky that I am, cause all I had to do was flirt to get us those passes.”

Your intention had never been to take advantage of Daniel. It was more the opposite in fact; you were just living in the moment and capitalizing on the once in a lifetime opportunity to flirt with your celebrity crush. You had to admit, it turned out better than you'd ever thought it would.

“I can’t believe you seduced Daniel freakin’ Ricciardo,” he says, shaking his head. “You astound me.”

“I didn’t seduce him!” You protest.

"Sorry my bad. You charmed him. That sound better?"

You roll your eyes. "Whatever. I damn near had a heart attack when I figured out it was him but he was kind enough to let me brush it off."

"Well, thank god for your two-wheeled obsession because without it, we would be watching the prix from the nosebleeds."

You laugh and shake your head. Hunter tended to have a poor filter when he was excited and tended to spew whatever was on his mind. "Just watch your tongue this weekend, alright? I'd rather embarrass myself than have you do it for me."

Hunter gives a mock salute. "Yes ma'am."

**********

You'd stuffed five different outfits in your bag in preparation for the grand prix weekend. In theory, it shouldn't be hard to decide what to wear. But Friday morning you changed clothes so many times you lost count. No matter what combination you tried you weren't satisfied.

Finally, you give up and settle on a McLaren polo and denim shorts. Simple and comfortable, but form fitting enough to catch Daniel's eye should you run into him.

You knew you shouldn't, but you pull out your phone to text him anyway.

Thanks again for the tickets. Let me know if you've got any free time so I can properly thank you!

You hit send before your brain has the chance to overanalyze the message. You check your phone obsessively the entire drive to the circuit, only half expecting a response. You tuck your phone in your pocket when you get to the gates, determined not to let it get to you. Daniel warned you he would be busy, and you knew that responding to you was likely on the low end of his list of priorities.

Hunter gets you to the circuit a half hour before they let fans in and you have to listen to him ramble about driver stats the entire time. Normally you don't mind; guessing who's most likely to win each Sunday is something of a competition in your household. But today, you couldn't focus enough to put any thought into your prediction, instead just blurting Daniel's name.

"You're only saying that cause he's into you," Hunter says, grinning savagely. "He struggles in Austin and you know it."

"So? He's in a McLaren this year. You saw his pace in Bahrain, and that was with a damaged floor! He'll podium for sure." You cross your arms and return his grin. "Besides, he's motivated."

"Oh, is he?"

"I told him I'd buy the winner of the United States grand prix a drink. Up to him whether it's him or Verstappen."

"Oh my god you have a date with Daniel Ricciardo?"

"Dude, chill out. It's not set in stone. Honestly, he's probably forgotten that I exist."

"Has he texted you?"

You glance down at your phone and are greeted with an empty inbox. "No. Not after the initial time so I could have his number." You shrug and pick an invisible piece of lint from your arm. "But he said he'd be too busy anyway."

"Guess we'll see once we get to will call, huh? If he's forgotten about you."

"Yeah." An odd feeling rolls through you. It feels a bit like nerves mixed with hope, but you stamp down on it. You were here to enjoy yourself. The trip of a lifetime had been handed to you on a golden platter and you were wont to let something as trivial as nervousness ruin it.

Bells chime as you step into the blissfully cool will call office. A blonde woman with a bit too much blush dusted on her cheeks greets you with a smile.

"What can I do for you?"

"Picking up some tickets that were left for me by a driver?" You try, unsure of the proper procedure. "I don't have a paper or anything."

She waves a hand in the air as if she expected as much. "All I need is your identification. They should be under the name."

"Oh uh, of course." You motion for Hunter to hand over your wallet and show the woman your driver's license.

"Great. Wait here and I'll grab those for you."

You drum your fingers on the desk while waiting for her to return. After what feels like ages she re-emerges empty handed.

"I'm not seeing anything here with your name on it," she says, her plastic smile at odds with her sincerity. "I'm afraid your tickets aren't valid until Sunday."

"Can you double check? Daniel said they'd be here-"

"So sorry. There's no record of anyone dropping tickets off for you."

You blink, holding your tongue in the face of her blunt response. "Okay. I guess ill try and get it sorted out."

Hunter breaks the tension. "Can't you call him?"

"I can't just call him, I'm sure he's busy."

"Either that or we don't get in. Just do it, he gave you his number and specifically told you to let him know if there were any problems, didn't he?"

Yes he had, but that didn't mean you wanted to disturb him. He was probably knees deep in some sort of race weekend press conference or drivers meeting and heaven forbid you interrupt. But it was either that or you slink home disappointed and empty handed.

"Fine," you grumble, pulling out your phone with deliberate slowness. Hunter crosses his arms and tips his head to the side, a smile playing on his lips.

"Well?"

"It's dialing, you good for nothing busybody-"

"I was wondering how long it would take you to call," Daniel answers, voice radiating sunshine.

You cut right to the chase, not giving yourself a single second to evaluate how your heart skips. "Look, I don't wanna distract you on a race weekend but I'm at will call and they're telling me they can't find any passes left for me."

"Let me guess," he starts, raising his voice to be heard over the pneumatic tools in the background, "You're dealing with Jenny?"

Your eyes fall to the name on the woman's lanyard. She shifts under your gaze like she knew exactly who you were on the phone with. "Yep. Spot on."

"Kinda figured she would be a problem. She's got a huge crush on me and does this every time."

You fight back the strange sensation his offhand comment brings to the surface. "Oh, really?"

"I'll be right there. Give me ten minutes or so."

"Oh you don't have to-"

"Hey, no big deal. I gotta go that way anyway."

"Uh, okay. See you soon?"

"Yup. On my way."

You hang up and stare down at the phone, stunned.

"Well?" Hunter asks.

"I guess he's coming here to sort it out himself."

He blinks rapidly and shakes his head. "Hold on. Are you telling me that I get to meet Daniel? Like right now?"

"Can you relax?" You laugh lightly. "Honestly you're gonna freak him out."

"Uh, yeah sure. No big deal, just meeting one of my favorite drivers in the minus five minutes and I'm completely unprepared. It's fine."

If you roll your eyes any harder they'd pop out of your head. "Relax. He's laid back, but I don't want you to freak out and embarrass us both."

"Excuse me," Jenny breaks in, her distaste clear. "Please move aside if you're not picking up passes."

"Er, yeah. Sorry." You shuffle awkwardly off to the side to wait. Cheesy elevator music plays and Jenny shoots you glares until the door squeaks open and the human incarnation of the sun steps inside. Your breathing stutters when the Australian shoots you a wink and a grin before sauntering up to the counter.

"Why hello there Jen," he says, and she giggles coyly.

"Hi Daniel." She lays a hand on his forearm, the touch light and flirty. "What can I help you with?"

Daniel leans into her, whispering conspiratorially. Whatever he says has her bold smile faltering, replaced by a mask of professional cheer. Daniel shoots you another wink as the woman retreats to a back room, returning moments later with your supposedly missing passes.

"Thank you," Daniel says sweetly, taking them from her and turning to you. "I think these are yours."

"Thanks." You take the passes and hand one off to your awestruck brother. You nudge him and he comes to his senses in time to shake the hand Daniel sticks out.

"You must be the brother," he says. "I see you're a fan."

Dressed head to toe in McLaren colors, there was no other conclusion for Daniel to draw. For once your brother is the one stunned into silence so you answer for him, "Yeah, only a little. He was crushed when you left Red Bull cause Max is his other favorite driver and now he has to split his loyalties between teams."

Dan's laugh snaps Hunter out of his trance. "I know you're busy but do you think you can sign something for me?"

"Of course. How about this?" Daniel snatches the hat from Hunter's head and produces a sharpie from his pocket, signing the brim with practiced efficiency.

"He'll be texting the group chat about that as soon as you're gone," you tell Daniel who laughs along with you.

Heat rises to your cheeks as Daniel's assessing gaze sweeps you from head to toe. "McLaren orange looks good on you."

Channeling his easy confidence you flash him a grin. "Not as good as it looks on you."

He smooths the hem of his soft shell jacket, smile turning bashful. "Anyway. I gotta run. See you Sunday after I win!"

Your eyes follow him as he jogs back through the paddock until he's swallowed by the crowd. You sigh, shifting your weight from foot to foot. God, he was gorgeous. And he had such a big heart. It was a shame someone hadn't snatched him up yet, but then again, that meant you still had a shot, even if it was a slim one.

"So where exactly do these get us?" Hunter toys with the lanyard now placed around his neck. "It doesn't say."

"I'm guessing the McLaren lounge," you say and point to the logo on the passes. "Above the garage."

"That's the perfect vantage point for practice."

And it was the perfect view- before getting in the car Daniel walked out into the pit, suited up in his cobalt racesuit and minty helmet and glanced up. You weren't sure if he saw you or not when you waved but he gave a little salute nonetheless.

Hunter was practically glued to the bank of floor to ceiling windows for the entirety of free practice, immersing himself in the experience. You found yourself glancing at the timing tables every lap, silently hoping to see the RIC tag move up. By the end of the second session he had been fourth fastest, a few tenths behind both Mercedes and the Red Bull of Verstappen.

By the time you make it back to Hunter's house, you're both exhausted from a full day of running up and down the paddock. The pair of you had been determined to soak up every second of it, sneaking into whatever offices you could and stealing bites off the buffets and cups of coffee.

Saturday’s free practice and qualifying session pass in a blur of color. Daniel drags his McLaren up the ranks to qualify fourth, his best starting position so far this season. He had a decent shot at the podium- Bottas should be easy pickings and if Verstappen and Hamilton made any mistakes, Daniel might even have a shot at the win.

The excitement in the air is palpable as you both flash your badges and head back up the now familiar path to the McLaren lounge. An hour before lights out, the v6 engines rumble to life below. You venture out onto the balcony, watching and waiting for a glimpse of Daniel.

The Aussie does you one better by walking out, race suit on and helmet in hand. He chats animatedly with Michael before stopping and craning his neck upwards. Michael nudges him with his elbow but Dan ignores him, answering your tiny wave with a wink. He mimes taking a drink and you roll your eyes.

Dan throws his head back and laughs, audible over the cacophony below. He gives you one final salute before Michael drags him back into the garage.

Ten minutes later cars begin streaming out on track, Daniel taking the fourth grid place as his mechanics once again swarm him. Tire blankets are secured, keeping them warm and pliable ahead of the formation lap. Thirty seconds before the boys are released, they're peeled back off as everyone scrambles off the pavement. Verstappen leads them away down the 3.4 mile track for the formation lap. Dan does a few small power slides before taking his place on the second row.

One by one, the red lights illuminate and disappear quicker than your blink. Daniel gets away clean while Bottas stumbles out of the gate, leaving himself wide open for Daniel's overtake on his right side. Cheers erupt around you, your brother going so far as to lift you off your feet.

Maybe Dan had a shot at winning after all.

A nail-biting 38 laps pass without a change in the order of the top three. Finally, a mistake in Max's pit stop sees him return to track third, just behind Daniel. The McLaren driver puts up the fight of his life, late braking at every corner and defending his position for all he was worth. Lewis was twenty seconds ahead- he wouldn't be winning but he could defend his second place spot.

Lewis Hamilton, race winner for the seventh time at the Circuit of the Americas!

Daniel Ricciardo crosses the line second, Max Verstappen takes home that last podium step for Red Bull. An astonishing fifty six laps here today in Austin!

The box erupts around you, a roar of cheers making it impossible to hear what else Crofty and Brundle were saying. But it didn't matter as Daniel raises his fist when he swings back into parc ferme, jumping out to be congratulated by his team. It was his first podium for the papaya team and you can tell it means the world to them.

"Looks like you're taking Lewis out for a drink," your brother teases. "Told you he wouldn't win."

"He almost won," you counter. "But hey, I'm not above asking Lewis on a date. Could you imagine? I mean, he would never agree, but still. It would be a hell of a date."

If you crane your neck from the balcony, you can just barely see the podium. Everyone goes quiet for the anthems and erupts again when the champagne is sprayed. The McLaren team chant for a shoey, which Daniel obliges. He sits to unlace his mint green boot and pours champagne into it, drinking from the boot before passing it to Max who joins in on the fun.

Just as quickly as it began, the celebrations ebb. Daniel is the first to leave the podium which seems odd, given that the PR department surely wants his first big win for the team to be well documented.

Your phone buzzes a second layer. You fish it out of your pocket, a Cheshire grin splitting your face.

"Shouldn't you be busy celebrating?"

"I am," Dan starts, sounding breathless. You can barely hear him over the sound of the crowds chants behind him. "But I want to celebrate with you. I know I didn't win, but how about you let me buy you a drink instead?"

You barely hear anything beyond his first sentence. I want to celebrate with you. Were you dreaming? There was no way this was real.

"Um, I'm sorry, you want to celebrate by going out with me instead of your team?"

"If you'll let me. Hey- just text me okay? I can barely hear you over everyone screaming my name. It may be going to my head."

You laugh, drawing the attention of the vip's nearest you. You give an apologetic smile and move further from the crowd. "I'll text you an address. See you later, second place."

#daniel ricciardo #daniel ricciardo x reader #formula 1 #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 fanfiction #formula 1 fantasy #formula 1 fanfic #f1 #f1 fanfic #daniel ricciardo fanfic #reader insert #my writing #speed and stress

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tomtenadia · 3 years

Text

A Little Braver - Chapter 12

Here we go. As promised i did not keep you waiting too long and chapter 12 has finally landed by gentle concession of Whitethorn airlines.

Be ready for angst, fluff and our Rowan in full fuss mode. I swear the man invented fussing. Also, our Iceman this time loses it. Even Fenrys is shocked by how much.

EDIt: forgot to say ATC is Air Traffic Control.

-----------

Rowan had finished his class and went back to his office. He had given those spoiled brats a very intense training and he had taught them how a real pilot flew and was quite satisfied of his level of evilness.

He sat at his desk, grabbed his phone and noticed a text from Aelin and a smile tugged at his lips.

Not even two hours back. Crash at the airport. I guess those civilian pilots are as bad as you claim.

He laughed to start with but then terror took him. He switched on the computer and tried to find some news about Orynth. He found a newspaper and read the breaking news. There was a video taken by probably some reporters on an helicopter and he almost fell sick at the images. The article mentioned two aircrafts but he could see only one. He had a bad feeling of what could have happened. The crew zoomed in and he spotted Aelin’s engines but he could not tell apart who was on the ground. Then he saw it. The collapse. A cloud of dust and fire lifted in the sky and he hoped that none of the guys were inside.

His heart raced and pure undiluted terror as he never felt, spread through him.

Once inside Aedion had to navigate through debris and remains of the collapsed structure. The dust raised by the collapse had somehow reduced the fire and he could see around him.

“Aelin,” he called out. He walked and walked and he knew he was getting further and further from the entrance.

“Aelin… answer me, damn it.” He shouted over the silence. A few electric cables flew over him and he ducked just in time to avoid electrocution.

Then he heard it. Her PASS alarm. The one that activated when it did not sense motion for a certain amount of time. He hated that sound because it meant that one of them was in danger.

Eventually he saw her body and flames too close for comfort.

“Chief, lieutenant. I have her. Have EMTs on standby.” he shouted over the radio.

“Lieutenant, Chief, we have two water lines coming in now.”

He ran to her and fell to his knees working to clear the debris from on top of her and once free he rolled her over and noticed she was not breathing and not wearing her mask which lay abandoned at her side. His finger went to her neck and found a pulse albeit weak “She is not breathing, I need the medical team inside. Now.” He shouted over the radio with panic thick in his voice.

He gave her a few rescue breaths “please… please… don’t do this to me. Please, Aelin.”

He put his mask on her face, trying to pass some oxygen to her.

Voices broke the silence but he was too busy helping Aelin to bother to look who it was.

In a moment the rest of the team had followed inside and they were putting off the remaining fire around them, allowing the medical team to do their jobs safely.

Lysandra was on her knees in an instant. Elide was at his side and Dorian was towering over them he was the one who had taken the two women inside.

“She is not breathing and her pulse is weak.” Said Aedion, his voice cracking “Help her, please.”

Lysandra did some checks with experienced efficiency.

“I need to intubate her, Aedion remove the mask when I tell you so.”

Lysandra got ready with all her gear “now.”

With the skills of someone who had done it a million times she intubated Aelin very quickly and Elide started to press the balloon to send air in her lungs and oxygen to her body. Lysandra did a quick check and noticed her right arm bore some bad burn marks. She wrapped the wound as best as she could with temporary bandages.

“Dorian, pass me the backboard.”

Within minutes Aelin was loaded on the board and carried outside. The remaining team stopped, staring at their captain unconscious.

Rowan was following the livestream of the accident when he noticed Dorian’s holding a board with someone on and on the other side a tall blonde man: Aedion. He looked a bit better and his heart sank. His eyes recognised the body on the gurney. Her blonde hair, her long braid.

All of a sudden he forgot how to breath. He just stood there watching as the gurney that carried her was lifted into the ambulance. Aedion jumped in as well and he saw Lysandra and Elide climb in the ambulance and drive away with crazy speed and sirens wailing.

He stood slowly, as in a daze, grabbed his stuff and left. He went home, packed all his belongings and drove back to the base. As quickly as possible he filed a flight plan and not long after he was in the air. He would explain everything to the school commandant but he had to go. He had to be with her.

The flight back to Orynth seemed to last forever. He swore loudly when on approach to Orynth he was told that the airspace above the city was closed. He was furious, the airbase was so far away from the airport that it was stupid.

“Orynth main, Typhoon FF9762, I am requesting clearance for landing at the airbase, not at your stupid airport. So you let me land this plane or when I ran low on fuel I will land in the middle of the motorway and then you can deal with that.”

A moment later he got clearance for landing and when his landing gear touched down on the runaway he quickly taxied inside the hangar.

When he opened the canopy, Lorcan was there waiting for him “don’t. I don’t fucking care about the school or anything else right now.” He grabbed his bag and quickly told his engineer to perform his post flight checks. It was totally against the rules but he had no time to lose.

“Elide texted me. They took her to Orynth general. It was the closest one. She says it’s bad.”

Rowan ran out of the hangar and to his car not even bothering to change out of his jump suit, threw his stuff in the back seat and drove like a madman to the hospital. Once inside the A&E he spotted some familiar faces. Her squad was all there, waiting for an update. Rowan stopped. Then his gaze crossed Aedion’s. The man walked to him and Rowan was sure he had been crying.

“How is she? Where is she?” His voice was shaky.

“We don’t know. They took her in urgently. When I found her, she was not breathing and her oxygen tank was dead. She was unconscious when we brought her in, and with some horrible burns on her right arm.”

Rowan sat down heavily on a chair, his hands shaking visibly. They had just found each other. He could not lose her.

“I thought you were in Doranelle.” Aedion’s voice was flat and his eyes fixed on the doors where they had taken Aelin.

“Aelin sent me a text saying you guys had a call at the airport.” His hand ran nervously through his short hair “then I checked the news and there was a livestream of the accident. And I saw it. All. And when I saw you and Dorian carrying her out… I left everything and flew here with my jet. Bloody ATC almost prevented me from landing.”

“This is always the worst part.” Said Aedion sitting beside Rowan “the waiting.”

The whole group remained in silence and Rowan did the same until a doctor went to them and Aedion stood, followed by Dorian.

“I have an update on the captain. Her condition is critical. She suffered serious internal injuries from the collapse and they are being treated now. Her right arm has some severe burns and again they are now being treated to avoid infection. Her oxygen levels are still below the normal parameters. During surgery she has coded twice, but we got her back. As soon as the team is done with her we will move her to the ICU. We need to keep her under strict control. She could still develop acute respiratory syndrome. She will stay intubated and heavily sedated.” Then the doctor turned to Aedion “I will let you know when you can see her.” And with that he walked away.

“Everyone, return to the station. We are still on duty.” Aedion ordered his men. They gave him a hug and asked to keep them posted. He knew that it had been very hard for them to obey him. They all wanted to be there for her but slowly they filed out leaving him alone with Rowan.

Dorian patted his shoulder “I will stay with them at the station.” And he left with the rest of the squad.

“The scene at the airport seemed terrifying.”

“It was,” said Aedion in a flat tone “the small plane got reduced to smithereens. How the fuck that happened?”

Rowan sighed, he had an idea “possibly a mistake by ATC. They probably directed the smaller aircraft on the wrong runaway and the big plane landed and just crashed on it, then lost control, probably lost its landing gear and just slammed into the hangar bay.”

“How do you know?”

“Watching the live of the news. You could see that the bigger aircraft was on a landing trajectory from its heading. Also, it was on the runaway that Orynth airport uses for landing. The smaller craft was totally in the wrong runaway.”

“Well, it was a mess.”

“Did you manage to save anyone?”

Aedion nodded “all the people in the big aircraft. As soon as we arrived Aelin told us to keep an eye on the wings for fuel. The aircraft exploded but not before we managed to evacuate the passengers. Manon and Asterin saved two of the civilians by hiding in the cockpit.” He sighed “Aelin saved four.”

Rowan chuckled “she took two of my books one on flight theory and the one on airplanes in general.”

“That is why she knew about fuel being in the wings.”

Rowan nodded with pride “Aelin and I… we are working on things. On us. I…” he lowered his head “I care about her… a lot.”

Aedion leaned back on the chair and removed his fire jacket, remaining in his t-shirt “she can be difficult and believe me there is no one but me who knows just how much. I grew up with her. She is my cousin after all, but I always loved her like a sister. But Aelin has the bad habit of saying what she thinks and we had so many fights because of that. She can be a brat, but together with Lys they are the two most important women in my life.”

Rowan smiled briefly at Aedion’s description of Aelin. It was perfect.

“I proposed to Lys.” Confessed the blonde man.

Rowan slapped him hard on the shoulder “that is an incredible news. Congratulation, man.”

“I thought it was time. Lys and I have been together for three years and I love her.”

Rowan was about to add something when they saw the doctor approach them.

“Aedion, you can see her now.” The man stood and gestured to Rowan to follow him.

“Family only.” Said the doctor when he noticed Rowan stand.

“He is coming as well, Sorscha. And if anyone has any problems, they can take it up with me.”

The woman lifted her hands in yielding gesture “She is on the sixth floor in the ICU, room 46.”

“Thank you.”

“Are you all this friendly with doctors?”

“We visit hospitals a lot.” He added sadly.

Aedion walked to the stairs and Rowan chuckled “not you too…”

“What?”

“What’s with you guys and lifts?”

Aedion laughed “you posh boy can take the metal trap. I am walking.”

Rowan huffed and followed Aedion up the stairs. He was not letting an army guy beat him. He had pride.

Rowan pushed to keep up with Aedion and by the time they reached the sixth floor his legs were killing him, the man in front of him had kept a brutal pace, probably on purpose.

In silence they reached the room and Rowan pulled aside “you go in first, you are family.”

Aedion nodded and Rowan sat down on the chairs outside the room. Thing was… he needed time. He was scared of what he would see on the other side of the door. He was terrified. She was the one with the scary job. He was the one who knew how to fly away from danger and avoid being shot out of the sky. She, on the other hand, she would willingly face a fire to save people. Getting involved with her meant going through the hell he was living now. He fought it for as long as he could. But somehow along the way he had fallen for her pretty badly. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall.

Much later on he felt a hand on his shoulder “you can go in now.”

Rowan turned his head to the door and his heart sank. Then he stood and mustered all the courage he had to open the door and step in.

The room was silent apart from the steady beeping sounds of the machines monitoring her heartbeat and the hush sound of the ventilator pumping air in her lungs. He froze and closed the door behind him. He stared at her immobile body. With all the cables and tubes and machinery, she seemed so small in the hospital bed.

He finally took a step closer and sat down on the chair beside her.

“Hi,” his voice broken as he felt tears streak down his cheek. Gently he brushed the tip of the fingers on her right hand and noticed the heavy bandaging on the whole arm.

“You scared the shit out of me.” He whispered, his head leaning on the bed near her hand “A part of me wants to bolt because I am not sure I can take it. But the other side tells me not to. Tells me that the recklessness, you fierceness and bravery are why I am so damn crazy about you.” He stood and paced back and forth “the idea of losing you paralyses me with fear.” He took a step backward with fear gripping his heart “I can’t do this. I am so sorry. I just can’t.”

He ran out of the door but Aedion blocked him “that was quick.”

“I can’t…”

Aedion’s face morphed into pure rage and grabbed Rowan’s jump suit by the collar “oh yes you can. I told you before, posh boy. You break her heart and I break you.”

Rowan collapsed exhausted on the chair and took his head in his hands “I can’t… I can’t go through that hell a second time.”

“What to you mean?” Asked the blonde man.

Rowan looked up and met Aedion’s eyes. So much like Aelin’s. They could have easily been twins.

“The pain…” he paused “I can’t deal with that pain again. Losing Aelin would break me definitely. And at the same time I can’t leave her for the same reason. I need her in my life. She might be infuriating but at the same time I am mad about her.”

“Then you have your answer.” Said Aedion flatly.

Rowan stood and Aedion placed his body in front of him.

“I am not bolting. I need to go home, shower, clear my head and I will be back.”

“You bolt, and I will find you.”

Rowan raised his hands and walked away in silence.

He got home, dumped his bag near the bed and shed his clothes on his way to the bathroom. Opened the water and dove under the jet, the water hot to the point of being painful. He stood there. Eyes closed and head bowed. Realising that the water would not be able to wash away the shame of him almost walking out on her like a coward. Again. He was not as brave as he thought. When it came to his feelings he was a disaster. But there was deep terror in him, to a level that he never experienced not even with a missile trained on him. He had almost lost her and at the thought he struggled to breath for a moment. He leaned against the wall and allowed the tears to flow, he allowed himself to cry and let his fears go for a moment. He could not believe that in a matter of few months she had become so important that the thought of losing her would break him this much. He breathed deeply and tried to regain some focus.

Quickly, he washed himself and then walked out with a towel around his waist and padded to the bed to grab his phone. He called the commandant of the school in Doranelle and explained him what happened, why he had to leave all of a sudden and most of all why he was not going back. The man was not happy and he was going to catch hell from Lorcan as well but he did not care. He had given up too much of his life to the force. Now it was his turn to be selfish and put his life before duty.

As expected Lorcan called him not long after and he was now on his way to see his CO in nothing but jeans, a polo shirt and a black leather jacket and a pair of sunglasses. If he had to piss off Lorcan better do it properly.

He knocked once in front of his door and the grumpy tone of the man of the other side told him to enter. He saluted lazily and definitely did not miss Lorcan’s stare of disapproval at him appearing in front of his CO in civilian clothes.

“You seem to have misplaced your uniform.”

“No sir, definitely at home in my wardrobe.”

Lorcan growled his disapproval “I got an interesting call from the commandant of the school in Doranelle. He says that you resigned your post. That you have no intention of going back.”

“That is correct,” and Rowan sat down although Lorcan did not give him permission to do so.

Lorcan threw a folder on his desk “and I got a complaint from ATC saying that you breached airspace lockdown last night and threatened to land on a motorway if they didn’t let you land.”

“That was bullshit on their part. The airbase is on the opposite side of the city compared to the airport. There was no risk for me to get anywhere close to the airport. They were aware of my flight plan and my heading. It was total bullshit.”

“Well, now I have to deal with an irate traffic control supervisor and an outraged commandant at a school with which we have been cooperating for years.”

Rowan shrugged in challenge “not my problem.”

“No Whitethorn, you are the fucking problem.”

“Then suspend me, like I give a fuck.” Rowan leaned back in the chair and stared outside ignoring Lorcan’s tantrum.

“You broke aviation rules with that stunt of yours last night and before that you put your personal life before duty.”

Rowan bolted on his feet “I am so fucking tired of sacrificing my life for duty. I did it so much that when my wife died I was on the other side of the continent and I was given a couple of days of leave to go to her funeral and then was ordered to haul ass back to my post as if nothing happened and like the good obedient soldier I was, I even thanked you all for giving me two days to mourn.” He shouted, not caring if he was being disrespectful to a superior “I gave the airforce twelve years of my life, no questions asked. And all of a sudden I am not sure if I want to keep doing it.”

“Is she really worth it? Is that woman really worth giving up on your career?”

Rowan moved dangerously close and leaned on the desk with his hands “she is worth more that you cold-hearted bastard can ever imagine.”

Lorcan stood “get your arse out of my office, captain Whitethorn. You are suspended for a month.”

“Good.” Said Rowan and walked out slamming the door not bothering saluting Lorcan or add anything.

On his way out he met his squadron “what are you doing back in Orynth?” Asked Gavriel surprised.

“Getting my arse suspended for a month apparently.”

“What the fuck?” Fenrys stared at him in disbelief. That was something that he would do. He could not believe that Lorcan had just suspended Rowan. The man was a stickler for protocol and rules to a fault.

“Broke aviation rules last night by landing during an airspace lockdown. Ticked off ATC big time. And before that I left my post in Doranelle without telling anything to anyone.”

“Who are you and what have you done with Iceman?” Asked Connall.

“Aelin.” Was his answer “she was at the disaster at the airport last night. She is in bad condition. I had to come back.” He sighed “then Lorcan gave me a dressing down for putting a woman before duty and I might have pissed him off to historical levels. I would stay clear of him today.”

“And he suspended you.”

“Yes,” confirmed Rowan and the rest of the team almost noticed relief in his eyes.

“But you are coming back, right?” Rowan noticed sadness in Gavriel’s eyes. The two had been friends for a long time. And although he could not care less about Lorcan, he felt as if he was betraying his team mates.

“I don’t know… I might.” He said not convinced “A month away might do me well. I am not sure right now.”

“How’s Aelin?” Vaughan had the guts to ask the question no one could voice.

Rowan’s hands fisted “she is in bad shape. Intubated and sedated. When Aedion found her she was not breathing. She has bad burn on her right arm and plenty of other injuries. She was buried under the collapse of the hangar after she tried to save some people trapped inside.”

“Damn, the woman is badass.” Fenrys patted Rowan’s shoulder “when you go to the hospital, tell her that we are rooting for her too.”

He covered the young man’s hand with his “will do.” Then he straightened “now I better go, before Lorcan comes through and punishes all of you just for speaking with me.”

“Keep in touch, please,” added Gavriel.

Rowan winked and left and once he finally stepped outside of the perimeter of the airbase his soul felt lighter.

He reached the hospital not long after and found her room empty, her team was probably at work and he was glad he could have some time with her.

“Hi menace,” Rowan sat down and brushed a kiss on her forehead “are you enjoying your nap?” His finger gently flicked her nose and he sat back down “I got suspended for a month… I guess I broke a few rules to be with you.” His finger brushed hers emerging from the heavy bandage “and I epically ticked off a few people, but it was so worth it.” He squeezed her fingers “you are totally worth it.” He then stood and started walking around the room making adjustments. He fixed the blinds so there was some sun in the room, he tucked her properly in bed, almost afraid she could be cold. He fixed the flowers on her nightstand and made sure they had water. And finally he sat down on her bed and slowly undid her braid, brushed her hair and braided it again.

“I am sorry I left this morning, I… was overwhelmed.” He sat back down on the chair “I am not leaving. Not unless you want me to.” He grabbed her hand again but then he heard the door open and he sat straight.

“Hi,” said Lysandra and Elide in unison.

“We just dropped off some patients and we came in to see her.”

Rowan stood and with his hand he offered his spot to the two women.

“I thought you were away.” Said Lysandra, walking close to her friend and depositing a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“I was, and then I saw the disaster and I flew back and got myself suspended for it, but I don’t care.”

Lysandra was about to comment but he stopped her “I had to be here for her. I have no regrets.” His head then turned to Elide “you might want to stay clear of Lorcan for a few days. I ticked him off big time and the man might be a bit furious at the time.”

“Oh, okay,” the woman said timidly.

“I am sure that one of your smile will fix the mood of that poor old bastard.” Lysandra’s comment made him laugh.

“She just went in…” Lysandra’s voice was now a whisper and she sniffled turning her back from the other two occupants “she always does this type of crazy thing. Dorian was furious.”

A memory appeared in Rowan’s mind and his words were out before he could stop them “are they involved?”

He heard the woman chuckle “No. Dorian is in love with her and that is no secret. He was her captain when she was at west. But she always saw him as nothing but a friend. Also he is the chief and she a captain, so nothing can happen. They are really good friends, but no, nothing ever happened.”

A selfish part of him relaxed.

Lysandra’s radio went off and she groaned “come on Elide, back to work.”

Rowan waved them goodbye and went back to his chair.

***

Ten days had passed and the season had slowly turned and spring was now in full force.

Rowan was standing at the hospital window, looking outside towards the Staghorn mountains. The tops had officially lost their snow. He inhaled the fresh air and closed the window again. That room had become his new home in the past ten days. He had left only to go home and get changed and washed, but apart from that he had kept a tight vigil on her. They guys at the station had to work and he had been more than happy to keep her company. He was out of a job for the time being, anyway. He turned around and walked to the bed. Nothing had changed. She was still intubated and still unconscious. The doctor had raised concerns with regards to the damage her lungs had suffered and a neurologist had confirmed that her responses were within normal parameters and that they were expecting her to wake up soon. In the last few days they had noticed an increased cerebral activity which according to the doctors was a good sign. He sat down again beside her and went back to the book he had been reading to her. As a joke between the two of them he had started reading flight manuals, or any of any of his books about flying. He had read her other books as well and all the possible articles about their amazing rescue at the airport. Rowan had spent so much time at the hospital that all the nurses knew him and helped him every time he had a request for them to make her more comfortable. He had brought more comfortable pillows, had decorated the wall of her room with all the cards she got from the different fire stations and from west, together with the ones of the four people she save in the hangar. With his mobile he had played classical music for her and a few times he had played an opera as well and joked that they finally got that date after all. His past ten days had been dedicated to nothing else but her. He was humming away a tune from the last opera he had played, while tucking her bed sheets properly when he brushed her hand and felt it move. It was a subtle movement but he felt it. Rowan kept humming and this time the motion was much clearer.

“Aelin…” her middle finger lifted by a fraction and Rowan laughed.

“Are you giving me the middle finger even when you sleep? You are such a brat.” He leaned forward and kissed her forehead “Can you hear me?” He whispered near her ear.

His gaze returned to her hand and this time he noticed her clearly trying to bend her fingers.

Rowan sat down beside her and stroked her cheek once more “Aelin… it’s me.”

A tiny flutter of her eyelashes had his heart race madly in his chest. And when her blue eyes finally set on him he gave her a big smile “it was abut time, there was no need to get into a fire and almost get yourself killed if you needed a nap.”

Aelin groaned and he noticed the middle finger in her left hand rise sightly. Rowan roared in laughter. Then she lifted the same hand and went for the tube in her mouth.

“Hold on, you are still intubated. Let me go and call the doctor.” He disappeared outside of the room and came back with her doctor a moment later. He extubated her and the procedure looked very unpleasant. Aelin coughed heavily but the doctor reassured him it was normal and then left the two alone.

Rowan grabbed a glass of water on the nightstand and helped her. He lifted her a bit and pressed the glass against her lips “drink a little.”

She drank eagerly and then collapsed back on the pillow exhausted. Rowan sat at her left side and brushed her head gently with his hand “are you in pain?”

With a small movement she shook her head. Rowan looked at the bags with liquids hanging behind her and noticed they still had plenty of stuff in them. She was hooked on painkillers and antibiotics and had a feeding tube down her nose.

“You… here.” She managed with difficulty. Although she was breathing on her own the doctor had warned him that some issues might take longer to heal. The smoke and the fuel fumes had battered her lungs pretty badly and that it was why after extubation, the doctor had placed small oxygen tubes in her nose.

“That I am.” he took her hand in his “after your text complaining about civilian pilots I had a look at the news and they were showing the inferno at the airport.” He stopped, he would never forget that horrible scene “when I saw Dorian and Aedion carrying you out I realised I could not stay there any longer. Long story short, I broke a few rules, pissed off a few people and got suspended, but I am where I am meant to be.”

“Suspended?”

Rowan nodded solemnly “Turns out that even if he has a girlfriend, Lorcan is still a cold-hearted bastard. I have no regrets.”

Aelin sighed and her breath came out ragged “squad.”

“They are all fine and they miss you. Aedion has been playing captain and he hates it and Dorian has been helping a lot as well. They are on shift now but they came and visit a lot.”

She was about to say something else but a brutal cough hit her and she was left exhausted and wheezing and he pulled her to him. It destroyed him seeing her like that.

He shifted the pillows behind her and allowed Aelin to be in a semi sit position, hoping that would make breathing much easier than lying down. He sat beside her, pulled an arm around her shoulder and dragged her closer to him “Aedion proposed to Lys.”

“Know.”

“There is no pleasing you, young lady. I assume Lys has told you.”

Aelin smiled at him and nodded.

His phone buzzed in his pocket and when he removed it he realised it was Lorcan. The man had tried to phone him all morning but he had refused every single call.

Rowan sighed heavily and Aelin looked up at him with a worried expression.

“I almost resigned.” His forehead touching hers “then I didn’t because of duty and all that shit. When they carried you out I lost it. Nothing else mattered but being here for you. Screw rules and regulations.”

She turned her head and deposited a kiss on his lips “thank you for being here.” She managed with great difficulty.

***

With spring in full swing, Orynth was covered in colours from flowers all around the city. The air smelled sweet and warm.

Aelin inhaled the fresh air and after almost a month in the hospital she felt alive again. Rowan lifted her in his arms and slowly carried her to her house. Her legs were still shaky and she was still weak. Her recovery was taking longer than expected. The doctors had put her through a respiratory therapy, but at times she still felt short of breath. Rowan dropped her off on the sofa and went to get their stuff. He had made a deal with her and he would stay with her until she was better. He still had four days before his suspension was over. He had been at her side since she woke up and the nurses had told her that even when she was still unconscious, Rowan had barely left her side.

Her mind went back to when he told her he could be very caring for the people he loved and he had showed her that over and over again.

“Here we go.” He dumped all the bags in the living room and then went to the bedroom and Aelin had a feeling he was preparing so that it was up to his standards.

“The bed is ready, your highness.”

He fussed. He fussed a lot but she realised she had started to love that side of him.

“Does it meet your standards, captain?”

He grinned “I don’t think is grandiose enough.”

“I will make sure I’ll upgrade my living standards to accommodate a posh boy like yourself. I doubt an army guy will fuss. Aedion never did.”

“They have no standards to begin with.”

Aelin threw a pillow at him but Rowan ducked in time and an instant later she was in the air and he dumped her on the bed with little ceremony.

He leaned forward and kissed her “now get changed,” he ordered and threw her her bed clothes.

“Yes, sir. At your orders sir,” she mocked him with a funny salute.

He shook his head “you civilians really have no respect for rank.”

She stood on her knees in bed and shed the top she was wearing and removed her bra as well, remaining bare.

He was busy emptying her bag that when he turned and saw her semi naked he almost tripped on the dropped top.

“My girls here feel lonely,” she palmed her breasts in a very sensual way

Rowan ignored her and passed her the pyjama top “It seems like you are doing a good job at keeping them busy.”

She slapped him with her t-shirt and got dressed again “I’d better get covered again, I don’t want to traumatise you.” She was about to add something else but a fit of coughing stopped her. Rowan was at her side in a moment and held her, knowing that it would usually leave her spent. The fits had become less frequent as she improved but the occasional one was enough to leave her breathless and this one seemed to be one of those. She grabbed his arm and squeezed it “hurts,”Aelin complained fisting her hand in his chest while concentrating on breathing. Rowan grabbed the inhaler she had been prescribed to use during an attack. She did as she had been shown by the doctors and then melted in his arms.

“Lie down.”

“Open…” she started but the coughing resumed and her hand fisted in the bed sheets this time. She grabbed the inhaler and breathed its medicines again, feeling air rushing back in her lungs. Eventually she collapsed in bed exhausted “Window…” she finally finished.

Rowan moved with speed and did as told. Aelin loved the spring air and even at the hospital she often asked him for the window to be open. It made her feel as if she could breath.

He moved her to the centre of the bed and covered with the blankets “do you feel like eating something?”

“No,” she said weakly and he knew she was not well. In the short time he had known her, Aelin had never refused a meal “Sleep,” his hand brushed her hair and she was asleep within minutes.

Once he was positive she was asleep he walked out and gently closed the door and went to the kitchen to make a phone call. Lorcan had been pestering him almost every day but Rowan had ignored him.

“The dutiful captain finally decides to phone back, or should I call you nurse Whitethorn now?”

Rowan growled and almost closed the call again, then decided to count till ten and listen what he had to say.

“Say your piece Salvaterre and let me go.”

“I want you to march back through these doors in four days.”

Rowan pinched the bridge of his nose. How could he leave her alone?

“A please from time to time doesn’t hurt.”

“Whitethorn, I don’t give a fuck if your firefighter woman made you a well mannered soldier. I am your superior and if I give you an order I expect you to answer with yes, sir. Another peep from you and you get your arse written up for insubordination and you can kiss your career goodbye.”

Rowan had to punch something, but a loud noise could wake up Aelin and he wanted to avoid that. So he just hung up the phone without giving Lorcan a reply then he grabbed a pillow and screamed into it. Once he was done he grabbed his laptop from his bag and set in motion his next plan.

TAGS:

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#rowaelin #rowan x aelin #rowan whitethorn #aelin galythinius #aedion x lysandra #fanfic #Throne of Glass series

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classic80sand90smovieloves2 · 4 years

Text

Meeting and Dating Herbert West

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

“Oh, Herbert, this is-”

“Y/n. …Yes I know.” The man interrupted, prompting your awkward smile to drop momentarily. Herbert was an …interesting character, to say the least.

- You met the re-animator through Dan who’d been a friend of yours since you joined the school. Dan had sort of taken you under his wing after you first met, becoming like an older brother to you. You; being a year younger than him and away from home for the first time, were very happy to have someone looking out for you.

- Obviously, Dan was a pretty big part of your life and you were a pretty big part of his life as well. Because of this, Herbert most likely heard of or had; at the very least, seen photos of you prior to your meeting which is why he didn’t need an introduction.

- At first, Herbert finds you; like pretty much everyone else, dreadfully irritating. He’s very short and stand offish with you, only calling you miss y/l/n or a harsh sounding y/n. But that all changes when you’re finally able to speak with him alone.

- You’d stopped by Dan’s apartment one day, only to find that the only one home was Herbert who seemed very ready to close the door on you after informing you that Dan was out with Megan. You said the magic words before he was able to.

“Herbert? I haven’t really been able to speak with you until now but I just wanted to say that I’m a huge fan of your work,” Bingo. “Or, rather, your theories. Dan's told me about a few of them and I find them very fascinating and well, um-”

“Why don’t you come inside Y/n?” Herbert says, a small smile on his face, one without any hidden boredom behind it.

- Prior to that, you’d never heard him speak your name without a touch of irritation to it so you were eager to do whatever you could to remain in his good graces.

- When Megan and Dan arrive back at the apartment, they’re surprised to see you and Herbert sitting in the living room and talking, or more accurately, surprised to see Herbert talking to you rather passionately about life and death.

- Dan gives you an odd look as you greet them and say how you should probably get going, the look only grows more confused as Herbert says goodbye with a seemingly rather genuine smile on his face. He doesn’t know what happened but he isn’t sure he likes it.

- From then on, Dan watches suspiciously as Herbert seems to grow more and more fond of you. He grows to somewhat dislike Herbert's sudden interest in you, especially after he finds out what the man does in his spare time and is propositioned by him. He fears that he’s trying to manipulate you into helping him.

- But that isn’t the case. No, Herbert just likes having you stroke his ego and listen to him talk about his work like he’s gods gift to earth and to you, he is.

- You thought Herbert was attractive the moment you met him, regardless of his somewhat odd and standoffish behavior. When he starts letting you into his life, your crush on him only worsens until you’re pretty much head over heels in love. So you sort of follow him around like a lost puppy and while he generally dislikes having people bother him, you become a bit of an exception.

- Over time, Herbert genuinely begins to like you, and he certainly cant deny that you’re attractive. He has a very scientific way of understanding his feelings for you, refusing to believe that love is a thing or admit that he actually has romantic feelings for you.

- He reasons that his body thinks you’re a suitable mate and that's why he cant stop thinking about you. He allows himself to lower his ego and believe that he’s not above his animalistic urges, if only to refuse that he actually loves you.

- Herbert doesn’t think of himself as one for relationships but seemingly against his own will, he yearns for one with you. So after a few days of avoiding you in an attempt to see if his feelings will fade away, he pulls you into his life once and for all, intending to never let you go.

- After things had been going so well, the sudden cold shoulder from the scientist had bothered you, so when he calls you on the phone and asks you to come by the apartment, you jump at the invitation, happy that things are back to the way they were.

- When you arrive, he leads you into the basement and sits you down, telling you to watch as he injects his reagent into one of his specimens. He watches the way you react, his body nearly pressed against your back as you stare in awe at the creature before you.

- If anyone were to walk in, they would see far more than just a man showing a friend his morbid creation. The expression on his face would say everything. To him, this is one of the most intimate things he can do. To introduce you to his work, to trust you with his findings, to explain to you how it works.

- When Dan returns home, he finds you sitting side by side in the basement, Herbert's notes and reagent sprawled out before you. A wave of discomfort rolls through him as he asks what's going on. Herbert merely says “she knows” with a small smile playing at his lips, his eyes moving to the side of your face with a look of subtle adoration.

- From then on, you’re involved in practically everything, even if Dan isn’t pleased with it. Your relationship with Herbert evolves very quickly, he’s not one for patience.

- He doesn’t verbally confess his feelings for you, not at first. Instead, he lets the tension grow between you until he’s pushing you back against his desk and kissing the life out of you.

- There’s very few times where Herbert truly loses his calm and collected composure and this is one of them, his mouth moving feverishly against yours, hands wandering, breathing shallow.

- The two of you say nothing as you part, he goes back to work and a while later you go home, a million thoughts racing through your head and your heart still beating quicker than normal.

- A few more kisses like that and the two of you wind up in bed together. By the time you’re finished, its the middle of the night. You know you should probably go home but you don’t think he’d let you with the way his arms are wrapped so tightly around you.

- You try to move and his arms tighten even further, pulling you back against him even closer. The message reads loud and clear; you’re his now and you aren’t going anywhere.

- Your relationship won’t be conventional, you knew that from the start. Nothing Herbert does is very conventional and that's something you’ve learned to accept. But for better or for worse, you’re together and there’s no signs of you ever parting.

- There’s two sides of Herbert out in public. There’s the Herbert who doesn't touch you at all, acting somewhat distant because he wants to remain professional. And then there’s the Herbert who never lets go of you, remaining close at all times and holding you in some way, shape or form.

- He’s pretty much touchy with you at all times, unless you’re in front of someone he feels he must put on airs for. Anywhere else or in front of anyone else and his hands or some part of him never leaves you.

- Deep kisses. Herbert..., how should I put this, devours you? He’s always got this tight hold on you like he’s scared you’ll part from him as he steals your breath away.

- Distracted pecks on the lips as you go to leave the room while he’s working.

- He finds it sort of amusing to startle you which he oftentimes does so without even meaning to. He’s fairly quiet so you usually don’t hear him enter the room, you only realize he’s there when you turn and nearly have a heart attack upon finding him suddenly standing near you. He’ll usually try to hide his smirk but occasionally your reaction will earn a laugh.

- Beware the flattery. If he’s complimenting you more than once in the span of a minute, he most likely wants something.

- Trying to get him to take a break and/or actually go to sleep. He gets really wrapped up in his work and won’t go to bed for literal days so occasionally you’ll just have to drag him away against his will.

- As much as he tries to avoid sleep, he’ll still have to at some point. When he does go to bed, he likes being the big spoon and holding you tightly against him.

- Sometimes he legitimately cradles you or a part of you against him, especially when you're scared or upset. He’ll usually either hold your head in his lap or quite literally wrap himself around you, speaking to you almost uncharacteristically sweetly.

- He’s somewhat touch starved. He’s never really bothered to find himself a girlfriend, thinking of them as pointless distractions, but now that he has one, he can’t help but admit that it does feel good to be touched and loved, particularly by you.

- Occasionally, he’ll have you sit on his lap as he records his data or let you write down what he says, leaning his chin on your shoulder and wrapping his arms around your waist.

- He doesn't use nicknames very often but occasionally he’ll let slip a “dear” or “darling”. Honey, sweetheart; generic little things that come naturally out of a persons mouth when they’re in love.

- Tight hugs while he speaks softly in your ear.

- Cheek kisses.

- Making sure he actually eats and doesn't waste away in the basement. You’ll bring him down some food if he doesn’t want to leave his things, it’s one of the rare times that you get a very earnest, pleasantly surprised yet still a little distracted thank you.

- Occasionally keeping him company down in the basement. You’ll go to leave after you do what you needed to do and he’ll call your name and say; almost shyly, “Why don't you stay? Sit down here. Keep me company”. He’ll usually let out a little laugh as well, trying to ease his feelings of awkward vulnerability.

- You're really not sure if he owns anything besides a suit. You legitimately think the only comfy thing he owns is a sweater you got for him on his birthday.

- Speaking of birthdays, he doesn't like celebrating his; mainly because he’s never really had someone to celebrate it with. He accepts your gifts almost like he isn't sure what he should say or do, usually replying with an “oh... thank you.” and a quick kiss to the cheek.

- He’s not fond of parties or social gatherings but he will go with you, mainly just to be your date and make sure you’re alright. That and he thinks your coworker has a thing for you which he is not happy about it.

- Your friends and family are most likely going to find him strange, though I think your mother or grandmother would probably fall for his carefully constructed charm and like him a lot. He isn’t ashamed to say that he’s fond of her as well, occasionally asking about her and getting a genuine smile on his face whenever he sees her.

- He may or may not constantly forget your anniversary, not because your relationship doesn't matter to him but because he’s Herbert and he doesn’t understand the intricacies of dating.

- Your pets don't like him and he’s not very fond of them ether. He stiffens when they enter the room and they leave once they see him. You find it almost amusing. On the other hand, they could also never leave him the fuck alone, absolutely adoring him while he tolerates them for your sake.

- Sarcasm and snide retorts. That’s literally just how Herbert talks so don’t take offense.

- Stopping Dan from trying to kill him whenever your boyfriend turns into an asshole and starts trouble.

- He definitely likes ordering you around a little. He’s sort of a wimpy guy so being in control of things is like a drug to him.

- Letting him ramble on about his work and accomplishments. You think he likes to hear himself speak.

- He’s not much of a small talker. Unless the conversation is about something actually meaningful or science; specifically his science, he isn't all that interested in it. Meaningless talk annoys him and he’s got more important things to do than exchange pleasantries.

- He’s not a very heavy set boy so you could pull him away from his work if you really wanted to, though I suggest you don't. You don’t want to get between him and his work.

- Being roped into his plans and work. He always manages to get you to help, even if you really don’t want to.

- I never said Herbert was nice, did I? Well, he isn’t; not completely at least. He’s oftentimes selfish and will do whatever it takes to persuade you to do something or change your mind about something. He’s a master manipulator first and loving boyfriend second.

- Bandaging him up when his work gets …rough.

- Trying to comfort him when things don't work out. He never wants to accept that its his fault so you just agree with what he says and pull him away from his work.

- Feeling bad for laughing at his somewhat morbid humor.

- Apprehensively helping him inject himself with reagent, only because you know he’ll do it anyways. He’s a stubborn bastard, all you can do is try to ween him off of it.

- He’s a scientist who works with the dead and get’s covered with blood daily, your period isn’t going to gross him out in any way. Tell him you have cramps, he’ll give you advice. Felling emotional, he’ll be a little more caring than usually. Want to cuddle, he really wants to work but seeing you desperate to hold him is worth leaving it momentarily.

- You’ll leave something of yours in his room and he’ll tell you that he put it in his bottom drawer. When you open the drawer, you’ll find that it’s empty besides the thing you were looking for. That’s how he’ll tell you he’d like you to leave some of your things there so that you don’t have to constantly leave at night or early in the morning. You’re pretty much the only one ever allowed in his room, mind you.

- He gets very jealous and he wont play nice either. He’ll openly insult them and probably get a little snappy with you too. His attitude has definitely caused at least one argument between the two of you.

- He’s ready to kill to protect you. He’s not necessarily protective of you but he doesn't want you getting hurt. He tends to pull you behind him or stop you from moving any closer to something if he’s not sure about what will happen or if it’s safe.

- He takes care of you when you’re hurt or scared, assuring you that everything will be alright, dressing your wounds or trying to snap you out of your fright whether he’s doing it for you or for his own selfish reasons is up to interpretation.

- He has no filter. He just says what he pleases without any regard towards other peoples feelings, whether his words are directed at you or towards someone else. There’s always a bit of tension in the air as/after he speaks.

- He gets snappy when he’s frustrated or under pressure. He’ll raise his voice at you and argue wickedly, still continuing his rant even as you go to leave though he’ll angrily question you as to what you’re doing in the middle of it.

- He can definitely hold a grudge if you really make him upset so you’ll either have to force your way back into his life and apologize or wait until he just cant take it anymore and begins to miss you. Let it be known that Herbert never truly lets a person out of his grasp. Being close to him is like being in a spider web.

- He isn't above manipulation. In fact, he practically wrote the book on it. Its usually subtle when its with you, careful word choices and purposeful touches. He’ll apologize and say all the right things to get you to forgive him. Don’t worry, he is actually sorry and tries his best to not do what upset you again.

- He doesn't say I love you; Its not really in his vocabulary. He may have said it a few times in your relationship but not at all often. He shows you he cares more than he verbally expresses it.

- He has no intentions of letting you go anytime soon and you have no intentions of going. You might have a strange relationship but its your strange relationship and you love it.

#herbert west imagine #herbert west headcanons #herbert west headcanon #reanimator imagine #reanimator headcanons #reanimator headcanon #re-animator imagine #re-animator headcanons #re-animator headcanon #80s movie imagine #80s movie imagines #80s movie headcanons #80s movie headcanon

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justnerdthings · 3 years

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Just a collection of Alex, Echo, and Jo incorrect quotes from a generator.

Jo: Some people are like slinkies. Echo: What? Jo: Not really good for much but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs. Echo: Echo: Please don't push Alex down the stairs. Jo, pushing Alex down the stairs: Too late.

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Alex: A party is a celebration of a life, bringing people together to let the guest of honor know how much they’re loved. Echo has done so much for us. This is our chance to do something for them. Jo: By forcing them to have fun at a party that they don’t want to be at? Alex: I knew you’d understand.

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Alex: We're having a baby. Echo: Oh, congradu- Jo, slamming adoption papers onto the table: It's you, sign here.

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Echo: It’s impossible to make a sentence without using the letter a. Jo: Despite your thinking, it is quite possible, yet difficult, to form one without the specific letter. Here’s one more to further disprove your theory. Alex: Fuck you.

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Echo: *gets a text* Oh! It’s Alex. Jo, excitedly: Did they get me the stuff? Echo: Yeah, they say they got you the clown costume, the power drill, and 12 gallons of blood. Jo: Wow! Where’d they find 12 gallons of fake blood? Echo: You wanted fake blood? Jo: Echo: I’ll go call Alex.

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Alex: Nice rock. Jo: Thanks, Echo gave it to me. Echo: I threw it at you! Jo: Aren't they the sweetest?

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Alex: Who wants to make fifty bucks? Jo: How? Alex: I need someone to take the fall. Jo: What did you do? Alex: I can't tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked. Echo, from the other room: Oh my god. Alex: ... Echo: OH MY GOD! Jo: Make it a hundred. Alex: Deal.

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Echo: So, what is Jo to you? Alex: The reason I wake up every morning. Echo: ...That’s adorable. Jo earlier that morning, barging into Alex′s room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!

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Alex: I mean. Echo's just standing there now. Alex: Waiting for me, I guess. Alex: But it's okay, I think they've pretty much settled down. Jo: Settled down? Alex: Well, they only stabbed me once.

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Jo: Can we go out to get icecream? Alex: Did you ask Echo? Jo: They said no. Alex: Then why did you ask me? Jo: They're not the boss of you. Alex, internally: It's a trap, it's a trap, it's a trap.

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Echo: Would you slap Alex- Jo: Yes. Echo: I didn't even finish! Jo: Sorry, continue. Echo: Would you slap Alex for 10 dollars? Jo: I would do it for free. Alex: Rude...

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Echo: Is this your plan B? Alex: Technically, this is plan P. Echo: Plan P? Is there a plan M? Alex: Yes, but I marry Jo in plan M. Jo: I like plan M.

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Echo: The moon looks beautiful, doesn’t it? Alex, looking at Echo: Yeah… but do you know what’s more beautiful? Echo and Alex in unison: *sighs* Jo

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Alex: So are you gonna explain how the hell you crashed my car? Jo: Well we were driving and there was a deer in the road, so I said "Echo, deer!" Alex: ...And what did Echo do? Jo: ...They said "Yes, Honey?"

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Echo: Did Jo just tell me they loved me for the first time? Alex: Yeah, they did. Echo: And did I just do finger guns back? Alex: Yeah, you did.

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Echo, at Jo: Would you like to stay for dinner? Alex, from the kitchen: Would you like to stay forever!?!

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Echo talking at Alex’s funeral: You do know we’re burying a great person today! Jo, shocked: Did someone else die?

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Echo: Hey I just got a pet snake. What should I name him? Alex: A pet WHAT?! Jo: William Snakespeare.

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Alex: Jo has no survival skills, their need to win has replaced them. Echo: That can't be true! Alex: Watch this. Alex: Hey Jo, race you to the bottom of the stairs! Jo: *Throws themself out a window*

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Alex: What are you guys doing? Echo: Like in life in general or- Jo: Not much. Why, what's up? Alex: I dunno, I’m bored playing AC. Jo: Assassins Creed? Alex: Animals Creed. Echo: Assassins Crossing.

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Echo: How are we supposed to put a tracker the size of a penny on Alex without them noticing? Jo: Hey, Alex, I bet you 5 bucks that you can't swallow this penny. Alex: *takes and swallows tracker* Pay up, loser. Echo: ...

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Alex: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed. Echo: Echo: I'm gonna tell them. Jo: Don't you dare.

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Echo: What time is it? Jo: I don’t know, pass me that saxaphone and we’ll find out Jo: *BLASTS the saxaphone* Alex: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXAPHONE AT TWO IN THE FUCKING MORNING Jo: It’s 2 am

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Alex: Would you take a bullet for me? Echo: ...yes? *Jo angrily burst into the room* Alex: *running away* Great, thanks!

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Jo: What makes you think it's okay to watch Hannibal given its subject matter? Echo: Sometimes, I watch television shows for entertainment purposes. Alex: Because I condone murder and cannibalism.

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Alex: Welcome to Fucking Applebees, do you want apples or bees? Echo: Bees? Alex: THEY HAVE SELECTED THE BEES! Echo: Wait- *Jo approaches, shaking a jar of bees menacingly*

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Echo: Jo and I were crossing the street, and this man drove by and honked at us. Alex: What did you do? Echo: Jo chased him to the next red light, and reached into his window, and- Jo: *walking in* Who wants a steering wheel?

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Jo: I lost Echo. Alex: How did you LOSE Echo?! Jo: To be fair, they are very small.

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Echo: Who do we know that has handcuffs? Alex: Well Jo and I- Jo: *elbows Alex* Alex: ...wouldn't know.

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Jo: What’s it like being tall? Jo: Is it nice? Jo: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards? Alex: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want. Echo: It was one time!

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Jo: I told Alex that their ears turn red when they lie. Echo: Do they? Jo: No. Echo: Then why did you tell them that? Jo: Because I can do this. Jo: Hey Alex! Do you love us? Alex, with their hands over their ears: No.

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Jo: Is Alex always like this when they lose? Echo: Oh, yes. You should've been there for the Great Jenga Tantrum of 2015. Alex: You bumped that table and you know it!

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Alex: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Echo's birthday invitations. Jo: Well, what are they supposed to say? Alex: "Echo's birthday". Jo: So, what do they say instead? Alex: "Echo’s bi". Jo: Jo: Works out either way.

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Echo: Alex got into a fight. Jo: That’s bad. Jo: Jo: Did they win?

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Echo: I’ve never asked someone out. How do you even do it? Jo: Oh, what I do is, I look them up and down and I say: “Hey… how you doin’?” Alex, scoffing: Oh, please. Jo, to Alex: Hey, how you doin’? Alex: Alex: *giggles and blushes*

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Echo: That shirt looks great, Alex. Alex: Thanks. Echo: But I bet it would look even better on Jo's floor. Jo: Are you hitting on Alex... for me?

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Echo: Hey, do you know the password to Alex’s computer? Jo: Fuck you, Echo. Echo: Hey!! Jo: No, you misunderstood, the password is "fuckyouEcho". Echo: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.

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Jo: Hi, sorry I’m late. I was doing a couple of things and got distracted. Alex: I’m “a couple of things”. Echo: I’m “got distracted”.

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*playing twister* Echo: Right hand red. Jo: *ends up on top of Alex* Alex: You're doing this on purpose, aren't you? Echo: I stopped spinning like 15 minutes ago. Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't notice.

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Jo: Where are my fucking keys? Alex: Jo, Echo is around, can you say it a little nicer? Jo: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my FUCKING KEYS?!

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Alex: A sprite is anything not static. Echo: A sprite is a variable object, be it 2d or 3d. Jo: A sprite is a fucking soda. Jo: You god damn geekass bastards.

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Jo: Echo! What did I tell you about lying? Echo, looking down: ...That it only works on Alex.

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Echo: What are you writing? Alex: The government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. I'm letting them know it's private information. Jo, looking over Alex's shoulder: This just says 'fuck around and find out' in calligraphy.

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Echo: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?! Alex: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long line of violence. Echo: Oh... Jo, from across the room: I don’t understand how you keep forgetting that.

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Alex: If you get in trouble, I'm gonna be like... a lawyer to you. Ok? Echo: Okay. *later* Jo: Echo! Sit down on the chair, you're in trouble. Alex, whispering: Deny everything. Echo, loudly: That isn't a chair.

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Jo: Why do you let me win when we race up the stairs? You’re the faster one. Alex: Erm... it’s nice see your smile when you win! *later* Jo: They're probably just staring at my ass, aren't they. Echo: Yeah, probably.

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Echo: *speaking Spanish* Jo: I know, I know. Alex: You speak Spanish? Jo: No. I just know the phrase, 'this is all your fault' in every language Echo speaks.

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Jo: Alex, what are you doing? Alex: Making chocolate pudding. Jo: It's four in the morning, why are you making chocolate pudding? Alex: Because I've lost control of my life. Alex: Here's your pudding, Echo. Echo: Oh that's okay, I'm not hungry anymore.

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Alex: I know you love them. Echo: I am not in love with Jo! Alex, staring at Echo: I never said who... Echo: *realizes* Echo: Shit. Well, anyways-

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Echo: Coca Cola can remove rust from metal, imagine what it’s doing to your body. Jo: Pfff, getting rid of the rust, idiot. Echo: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS! Alex: Hmm... I've been drinking soda and my body's rust free... not sure where you're getting your facts from...

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Jo: Yo dumbass, get over here. Echo: Okay- Alex: *gleefully runs past* I’m coming! Echo, sadly: I thought... I was dumbass...

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Jo: But what about Alex? Echo: Don't worry about them. Echo: I once watched them fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating their hotdog like nothing happened.

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Echo: I hope you have an explanation for this. Alex: We have three actually- Jo: Pick your favorite.

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Alex, to Echo: You know, Jo can be really aggressive, so it's important to take all the necessary precautions when approaching. Alex: *blows airhorn at Jo* GET FUCKED!

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Echo & Alex: *accidentally set the kitchen on fire* Echo: We need an adult! Alex: Echo, you are an adult! Echo: We need an adultier adult! Get Jo!

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Jo: Are you a painting? Alex: What-? Jo: Because I want to pin you to a wall. Echo: OH GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY YOU WANTED TO HANG THEM OR SOMETHING-

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Alex, bursting into the room: You two are having sex! Jo, not looking up from their book: Really? Echo, why didn’t you tell me? I would have put my book down.

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Alex, excitedly: Heeyy!! Echo: Hey, someone's excited. Jo, deadpan: Yeah, and it's making me sick.

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Echo: When Alex has daiquiris they get really into how beautiful they are. Alex: Hey, I dare you guys to dare us to make out. Jo: Hey Alex, you know that’s a mirror, right?

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@chadillacboseman @roofgeese

#there's more than i thought there were #but these are all now canon #idk where all of these are from #but the pudding one is rugrats #jo #gaits #alex demir #echo

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germanicseidr · 4 years

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Chauci

The Chauci were a Germanic tribe situated in modern day north-western Germany and parts of north-eastern Netherlands. They were neighboured by the Frisii to the west, the Ampsivarii and Cherusci to the south, and the Lombardi to the east. From a cultural perspective, they were incredibly similar to the Frisii, the reason why is because the landscape was exactly the same, flat swampy coastal land without trees. Both tribes built their homes on terps, artificial hills, to protect them from the sea and both thrived on fishing and raiding.

The meaning of the name Chauci is still a puzzle but there is a theory that the word Chauci is derived from the Proto-Germanic root for the word 'spear', 'ger. Another theory suggests that the word Chauci is derived from the Proto-Germanic word 'Hauhae', high-comers.

The first written mention of this tribe comes from one of Rome's most succesful Roman generals, Drusus Germanicus, yes the same general who died after a fall from his horse. During 12BC, Germanicus was present north of the Rhine and subjugated the Frisii. The Chauci, being their neigbours, were next on Germanicus' list but the Gods were with the Chauci as low tides trapped Germanicus' ships so he was forced to retreat.

The next written mention comes from another Roman general called Germanicus. Between 14-16AD Germanicus invaded Germania in order to revenge the lost battle of Teutoburgerwald. Instead of entering Germania by crossing the Rhine, he sailed around the north sea coast and invaded Germania from Frisii territory. Something quite peculiar happened during Germanicus' campaign between him and the Chauci.

The Chauci did not parttake in Arminius'alliance and were thus not a target of the Roman empire. Yet they weren't popular amongst the Romans either because of their continuous raids on Roman vessels and settlements. I have told the story before on how Germanicus' fleet was hit by a storm and largely destroyed. Germanicus himself however escaped with his life because the Chauci saved him. It is unknown why the Chauci decided to help the Roman army hit by a storm, was it for altruistic purposes or did they just want a better reputation in Rome? The whole event has been described by Tacitus in his annals, here is a small piece:

"But soon the hail poured from a black mass of clouds, and simultaneously the waves, buffeted by conflicting gales from every quarter, began to blot out the view and impede the steering. The soldiers, struck by alarm and unfamiliar with the sea and its hazards, nullified by their obstruction or mistimed help the services of the professional sailors. Then all heaven, all ocean, passed into the power of the south wind which, drawing its strength from the sodden lands of Germania, the deep rivers, the endless train of clouds with its grimness enhanced by the rigour of the neighbouring north, caught and scattered the vessels to the open ocean or to islands either beetling with crags or perilous from sunken shoals.

These were avoided with time and difficulty but, when the tide began to change and set in the same direction as the wind, it was impossible either to hold anchor or to bale out the inrushing flood. Chargers, pack-horses, baggage, even arms, were jettisoned, in order to lighten the hulls, which were leaking through the sides and overtopped by the waves. Precisely as the ocean is more tempestuous than the remaining sea, and Germania unequalled in the asperity of its climate, so did that calamity transcend others in extent and novelty, around them lying hostile shores or a tract so vast and profound that it is believed the last and landless deep.

Some of the ships went down, more were stranded on remote islands where, in the absence of human life, the troops died of starvation, except for a few who supported themselves on the dead horses washed up on the same beach. Germanicus' galley put in to the Chaucian coast alone. Throughout all those days and nights, posted on some cliff or projection of the shore, he continued to exclaim that he was guilty of the great disaster and his friends with difficulty prevented him from finding a grave in the same waters.

Not a man returned from the distance without his tale of marvels, furious whirlwinds, unheard-of birds, enigmatic shapes half-human and half-bestial things seen, or things believed in a moment of terror." - Tacitus, Annals

In 47AD both the Chauci and Frisii joined the pirate Gannascus of the Cananefates tribe on his proto-viking raids. The Chauci were notorious for raiding but now with an experienced former Roman soldier at their command, their raids entered a new and destructive phase. The three tribes raided the coasts of Gaul, Britannia and Belgica forcing the Romans to strengthen their defenses and deploy triremes on the Rhine river. Eventually Gannascus was asassinated by the Romans which almost led to a Roman-Germanic war.

Only a few years later in 69AD the Batavi tribe revolted against the Romans together with the Frisii and Cananefates. The Chauci sent military troops to Batavi lands in order to support the revolt. Initially it was a very succesful revolt causing the destruction of two Roman legions and several forts but it was put down the following year by the Romans. Even though the Chauci were willing to save Roman lives from drowning, they continued on raiding and attacking Rome at the same time while also supplying Rome with auxilliary troops.

A few years later, somewhere around 70-80AD, a Roman officer, author and philosopher by the name of Pliny the Elder, visited the lands of the Frisii and Chauci and wrote a description on the landscape and way of life:

"Here a wretched race is found, inhabiting either the more elevated spots of land, or else eminences artificially constructed, and of a height to which they know by experience that the highest tides will never reach. Here they pitch their cabins and when the waves cover the surrounding country far and wide, like so many mariners on board ship are the: when, again, the tide recedes, their condition is that of so many shipwrecked men, and around their cottages they pursue the fishes as they make their escape with the receding tide.

It is not their lot, like the adjoining nations, to keep any flocks for sustenance by their milk, nor even to maintain a warfare with wild beasts, every shrub, even, being banished afar. With the sedge and the rushes of the marsh they make cords, and with these they weave the nets employed in the capture of the fish; they fashion the mud, too, with their hands, and drying it by the help of the winds more than of the sun, cook their food by its aid, and so warm their entrails, frozen as they are by the northern blasts; their only drink, too, is rainwater, which they collect in holes dug at the entrance of their abodes." - Pliny the Elder

Tacitus published his work 'Germania' in 98AD and in his work he also wrote a short description on the Chauci:

"The Chauci are the noblest of the Germanic races, a nation who would maintain their greatness by righteous dealing. Without ambition, without lawless violence, they live peaceful and secluded, never provoking a war or injuring others by rapine and robbery. Indeed, the crowning proof of their valor and their strength is, that they keep up their superiority without harm to others. Yet all have their weapons in readiness, and an army if necessary, with a multitude of men and horses; and even while at peace they have the same renown of valor." - Tacitus, Germania

As you might have noticed, Tacitus' words are not very accurate since the Chauci were known for their piracy so it is unclear why Tacitus described them in such a way.

During the late 2nd century AD, the Chauci intensified their raids once again by destroying and pillaging several settlements across north-western Europe. These raids were so intense that the Roman empire spent the next 30 years on building better defenses. Their trail of destruction is still visible to this day as archeologists have found traces of burned settlements along the north sea coast. The Chauci were true raiders at heart and raiding provided them with supplies and food.

Eventually the Saxon confederation came into existence somewhere during the 3rd century AD. The Chauci were either part of the initial tribes who formed the federation or were absorbed by them later. Over time the Chauci lost their individual identity and became known as the Saxons.

Here are images of: A map showing the tribe's location A map showing Germanicus'expeditions (the general who got hit by a storm and was saved by the Chauci), A reconstruction of a Chauci settlement by Marco Prins, Unfortunately there is no artwork ,as far as I know, depicting the Chauci on their raids so I chose a picture of raiding vikings instead. That is the downside of vikings being so immensely popular but not the Germanic tribes that preceeded them many centuries before,

#Germanic Tribes #Germanic #Chauci #German

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infinite-xerath · 3 years

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Runeterra Retcons 4: Varus

Unlike the other Champions I’ve covered, Varus’s history is surprisingly straightforward. He was released all the way back in 2012 and, as far as I can recall, was the first Champion to ever receive any sort of major promotional material in the form of a short comic. He’s very straight-forward in both concept and design: a man willing to sell his soul, his very humanity, for revenge on the people who took everything from him. Given that this was before Kalista was added to the game, Varus had little choice but take matters into his own hands by bargaining with a vaguely-defined Eldritch being who would give him the power he needed in exchanged for taking over his body.

Original lore here

Varus’s lore is a very traditional revenge story, albeit with a slightly interesting twist in that he is the maker of his own tragedy. Varus opted to place his duty over the well-being of family and, in the process, was unable to even TRY to protect them while his village was being reduced to burning rubble. Out of grief and rage Varus turned to bargaining with the very entity he fought so hard to keep confined now that he no longer has anything to lose.

I and many others liked Varus’s story, and to be honest, Riot could have honestly just kept him more-or-less the same when they updated him post-retcon. Just remove the mention of the League and maybe better-define what the black flames were, and you’d be good. In fact, Riot technically did the former, as his second lore is basically identical save for removing any mention of the League of Legends.

Now, it’s at this point that things start to get a little more complicated. Now, if you want a more comprehensive breakdown of the Darkin and their history, I advise you go check out the part centered around Aatrox and his long and convoluted history, but tldr: the Darkin were a race of beings of whom only five remained, and it was later confirmed with Rhaast that they’re specifically a race of living weapons with the ability to possess whoever wields them. Now, while Varus was specifically possessed by an ominous black flame called Pallas, many drew parallels between him and the other Darkin characters, especially since Varus’s also seemed to be alive.

Given that the flames were never really elaborated on or given a proper origin story, Riot decided that it would probably be best to just go ahead and retcon Varus into being a Darkin as well, and nobody had any real qualms with this. It was a common fan theory for years, so why not? Just change the story a bit so that the flames were actually just a Darkin bow all along and boom, you’ve pretty-much done all you needed to properly fit Varus into the new post-reboot Runeterra.

Well, apparently Riot did not feel this way, as it was with Varus’s 2017 retcon that they decided to finally give fans a proper origin story for who and what the Darkin were. That origin story goes a little something like this.

Alright, so Varus is now an alien. They decided to make Varus himself the Darkin, rather than the man who would later claim the bow. OK, that’s fine. I mean, the whole alien thing is kinda weird and still very vaguely explained, but again, my full thoughts on the history of the Darkin as a whole can be seen in the Aatrox analysis. What I think is most important here is that Riot made an attempt, however sloppy, to explain who and what the Darkin were and finally give context to why Aatrox and Rhaast are such big threats to the world.

Now, it’s the next change that got a lot of controversy around it. Rather than just change the name of the Ionian guard who let Varus possess him, the guy who lost his family to the Noxian invasion, Riot decided to replace him with a pair of entirely new characters: Valmar and Kai, a duo of gay Ionian hunters.

Now, I’m just gonna get this out of the way: I’ve got no real qualms about gay relationships in media. Hell, we have a few LGBT Champions in the game already, and even some in the broader expanse of the world. My main gripe comes from the introduction of Valmar and Kai themselves, and how they’re just sort of these… Nothing characters. I mean, in the first lore, we knew who Varus was. We may not have known him well, but we could at least get a general sense of his character: he was proud of his skill, committed to the duty given to him even at the risk of his family, but ultimately succumbed to grief and rage when his decision caused him to lose everything he held dear. Varus was a good man warped by the loss of his home and loved ones, and that made him a fairly compelling character.

Valmar and Kai are… Two gay hunters. That’s it. That’s literally all we know about them from the bio alone. I mean, yes, Riot released a comic to further expand on these characters, but if your answer to the questions raised in your story are “go and read this extra supplementary material for context,” that’s… A problem.

On the topic of supplementary material, Riot also released a music video about Varus. It’s… OK. I personally don’t care much for the song but the visuals alone are really well-done. It’s supposed to detail the conflict between Valmar, Kai and Varus, but most of the context behind it is explained in the comic and short story.

Honestly, Varus’s retcon is kind of baffling. I mean, he didn’t receive a visual rework, his kit remained pretty-much the same as it’s always been, and he doesn’t even have any new voice lines in-game to indicate that he’s three different guys all stuck in one body. In fact, people who play him in-game without reading the lore probably wouldn’t ever be able to guess as much. Riot went to so much effort promoting Varus’s lore update with a music video, a new bio, a new color story, and a three-part comic, but they really haven’t changed anything about him in the game itself. They put more effort into him than they do for most ACTUAL Champion VGU’s. So… Why?

Admittedly, this is where I’m going to delve a bit into conspiracy theory territory, but I genuinely believe this is a case of Riot trying to push League’s first openly queer relationship. Seriously, Valmar and Kai are the first time a character in League has been confirmed gay IN THE LORE ITSELF and not just through a random tweet. Now, the word “pandering” gets thrown around a lot these days, and I don’t really like to use it, but it really does feel like Valmar and Kai were added JUST to have a confirmed gay couple in the lore.

The fact that they’re not even acknowledged IN THE GAME ITSELF really makes the whole thing feel like an attempt to just appeal to the LGBT crowd, though I’ve seen plenty of people in that community react… Less than positively to the portrayal. I mean, two gay guys are literally trying to hold back a corruptive, even influence with the power of love. I don’t wanna delve too much into the political side of things here, but that’s honestly about as cliché and stereotypical as you can get. Fans in general were extremely displeased that the man they knew as Varus, this genuinely tragic figure from the original lore, was replaced by two guys who’s only defining character trait is how much they apparently love each other.

Apparently, these complaints came through loud and clear, as Riot would update Varus one final time after deciding to retcon the whole alien plotline. So, let’s have a look at how his current, canon bio handles him.

Alright, well… Riot heard the complaints, but whether or not they fixed him is another matter. It seems like they tried to give Varus back his original origin story, basically making the archer we new from his first bio Shuriman. The problem is that there’s significantly less context for him now; we don’t know anything about his family, we don’t know why the temple he’s guarding is so important, and the story never even explicitly states that his family died!

I guess it’s implied because the Ascended acknowledged his “sacrifice,” though him being rewarded by becoming a demigod doesn’t quite have the same impact as exchanging his life and soul for a shot at revenge. On top of that, Varus seems pretty quick to give up on the whole “sacred duty” thing, despite the story claiming that being the thing he “he held above all else.” It all feels like a botched effort to mix his original bio with the new Ascended lore that Riot tied in with the Darkin.

Then, of course, there’s Valmar and Kai, who are… Still just gay hunters. They haven’t been expanded on at all. They helped drive the Noxians off from their home, Kai was apparently wounded, and Valmar decides that dipping his lover in an ominous pool of evil to save his life is a bad idea. Seriously, the bio states that they “inadvertently” freed Varus, but there was nothing accidental about it! There was no bargain, they weren’t tricked, it was literally just one guy making a stupid decision that got him fused with his lover and an ancient evil being.

Also, can we address the fact that Varus still wants to avenge the destruction of his race? Who does he want to avenge? The other Ascended? The Ascended who literally warred with each other for centuries? The same Ascended that HE FOUGHT AGAINST during the civil war for control of Shurima? Did Riot just… Forget that he’s not an alien anymore in that brief paragraph? They stated earlier that he was a cruel, merciless killer who just went to slaughter whoever he was told to slaughter, so for some reason I don’t feel like he’d care all that much about his “race” being felled. Oh, and there’s also still the unnamed warrior queen, who I THINK is meant to be a precious Aspect of the Sun? It’s never really stated in the bio itself.

Alright, enough ranting. Varus’s current lore suffers from one major fault: it is trying way too hard to tell several stories all at once. It tells the story of Varus as a human, Varus as an Ascended, Varus as a Darkin, the “story” of Valmar and Kai, and how they got fused with Varus. The writers tried way too hard to cram everything into a single bio and, as a result, nothing is elaborated on. Nothing is really explained, we don’t get to know the characters who are involved in the gestalt entities now known as Varus, and reason for his current existence AS a gestalt entity are just kinda silly, if we’re being honest.

So, how can we fix this? I admit: this was a tough one. There were a lot of different directions I could go when rewriting Varus’s lore, but I decided to take the Kayn approach, where the human host in the focus of the bio. Originally, I did have a whole bio written out for Varus and how he became an Ascendant, but I ultimately realized that I was going to run into the same issue Riot did: trying to cram way too much into a single character overview. So, instead, I chose to focus in more on the story of Valmar and Kai, and how the Darkin Bow was freed after ages of confinement. Without any further ado, please enjoy.

For years, the Darkin Bow has remained confined within the Ionian city of Pallas. The bow’s true nature has long been lost to time, though legends say it holds the spirit of an ancient god from a vast desert land. Others claim that the bow itself is something much older and viler than history itself dares to remember. Whatever the truth may be, the people have Pallas have guarded the bow for generations, choosing only their most skilled warriors from the task. Among them, none seemed better-suited for the task than Kai and Valmar.

Kai and Valmar were inseparable since they were children. Kai, a prodigy marksman, was known for his sense of humor and fierce resolve. Though infamous for his pranks, Kai would never hesitate to step in and defend someone in need, no matter how poorly the odds stood in his favor. By contrast, Valmar had trained in the ways of swordsmanship since he was old enough to grip a blade. Diligent and studious, Valmar was what many considered a model samurai in the making, yet he was also unendingly curious about the world and the many wonders it held.

At a glance, Kai and Valmar seemed near-total opposites, yet the two formed an unbreakable bond from the day they met. Kai would often accompany Valmar to explore the surrounding wilderness, only for Valmar to shelter Kai whenever one of his pranks went awry. As each boy matured, mastering the bow and blade respectively, their bond became something deeper than simple friendship. Valmar was a part of Kai, and Kai a part of Valmar. Neither was complete without the other, and so it came as little surprise that when Valmar was chosen to guard the Temple of the Bow, Kai soon followed.

Together, Valmar and Kai drove off many would-be thieves seeking to claim the cursed weapon’s power as their own. The two fought as one, each arrow from Kai’s bow in perfect sync with every swing of Valmar’s blade. Eventually, they came to be known as the Locust and Mantis, for the whirring of Kai’s arrows and the elegance of Valmar’s blade. It was believed that none could stand up to their combined might… Until the Noxians came.

From their post at the temple, Valmar and Kai watched in horror as the invaders stormed their home, setting fires and killing anyone who dared to stand in their way. For the first time, two warriors found themselves at odds; Kai wished to help defend the people of Pallas, but Valmar insisted on protecting the temple. In the end, neither had much choice in the matter, for the Noxians soon had them cornered on the temple steps.

Valmar and Kai fought for hours, their combined might slowly waning against the invaders’ onslaught. Kai’s strength was the first to give out, yet before death could reach him, Valmar stepped in the way to shield his partner from the blow of a Noxian axe. Kai watched in horror as Valmar fell to the ground, lifeless. Enraged, Kai fired all the arrows he had left before taking up Valmar’s sword, slaying the Noxian forces assaulting the temple. Even still, he knew it would not be long before more came, seeking to claim the forbidden bow.

In that moment, Kai heard a voice calling to him from within the temple. It promised him vengeance and the strength to fight back. Driven by rage and grief, the wounded archer let the voice guide him inside, just as more Noxian invaders began their ascent up the temple’s stairs. It was there, in the darkness, that Kai at last set eyes upon the cursed weapon he and Valmar spent years protecting: a bow thrumming with unearthly power. Kai hesitated for only a moment before grasping the bow, letting its power wash over him.

Kai’s mind was filled with images and thoughts not his own: a vast desert empire, a man made a god, betrayal, war, and finally, imprisonment. These were the memories of Varus, an Ascended being who devoted his life to serving Shurima, only to be abandoned in his time of need. His bitterness and hatred had summoned the Darkin Bow, granting Varus the opportunity to seek revenge on those who had wronged him. In the end, Varus was sealed within the bow, becoming one with it… And now, he would become one with Kai as well.

As Varus’s memories filled Kai’s mind, the Darkin’s power corrupted his body. Varus prepared to usurp Kai’s form entirely, but to his surprise, the Ionian’s drive for vengeance matched his own. Kai was prepared to give anything to avenge Valmar, his fallen half, yet he would do so with his own hands rather than entrust the task to a fallen god.

Even as their minds fought, the archers’ new, fused body moved on pure instinct. One by one, the Noxian forces in Pallas were felled by crimson arrows born of pure malice. Seeing the corpses of his kinsmen and the ruins of his home only fueled Kai’s rage, which in-turn empowered the Darkin in his grasp. Finally, the two archers came to an agreement as the Noxians fled: Varus would lend Kai his strength, in exchange for the Ionian’s body once Kai’s vengeance was complete.

Now on borrowed time, Kai has but one objective: to find and kill everyone he holds responsible for the destruction of his home and the death of his partner. To Varus, however, the destruction of Noxus is but the first step toward a much larger goal: revenge against the gods who betrayed him, and the world that sealed him away…

So, that’s my take on Varus’s lore. Now, the first thing you’ll probably notice is that I only have one of the lovers being possessed. Frankly, I felt that this was probably the best direction to go with; Riot still hasn’t updated Varus in any meaningful way to include Valmar and Kai in any of his voice lines, and something tells me that, being owned by a certain Chinese company, they probably never will. Given the circumstances, I figured it was probably best to give him a backstory more befitting of his in-game voice lines, which still portray Varus as a man on borrowed time who’s giving what little he has left in pursuit of vengeance.

Even so, I decided to try my hand at fleshing out Valmar and Kai. The first thing I did was change them from random hunters to trained soldiers tasked with guarding the temple. This not only harkens back to Varus’s original lore, but it also gives them more of a reason to stand their ground against the Noxian invaders. I also wanted to flesh out their personalities a little more, because I’ll be completely honest: I legitimately couldn’t remember which one was which even after skimming back through the comic. I forgot that Kai was the one who was injured in the original story, not Valmar, but quite frankly it matters so little given how poorly their characters are fleshed out.

Now, as for Varus himself… Well, like I said: I did have a whole bio written out for him that ties into the new Darkin lore I introduced in my Aatrox analysis, but I decided to focus the story more on Valmar and Kai and only have that backstory briefly alluded to. A tad disappointing, I know, but hey, it’s still more than what we learned about Rhaast from Kayn’s bio.

So, that was Varus, the Arrow of Retribution, otherwise known as Riot’s botched attempt at LGBT representation. He’s a far cry from what he started out as, and yet, hilariously, he’s really not on account of them still not updating anything about him in-game. In that respect, the Varus you play as in League isn’t really even the same character(s) presented in the lore. While I still firmly believe that his backstory never needed to be changed so drastically in the first place, I least wanted to present the potential that this direction held, and how badly the opportunity was squandered.

Oh well. At least the music video still looks nice.

#Runeterra Retcons #Varus #League of Legends

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eschergirls · 4 years

Photo

Originally posted at: https://eschergirls.com/photo/2020/04/22/guaranteed-get-female-your-bag

Another gem from Jess Morrissette on Twitter:

"What if we simply played to our strengths? What if we're so good at gaming, it somehow triggers an 'I want the alpha male' response in females?" A Game Geek's Guide to Getting Girls (PC Accelerator, February 2000).

I know PC Accelerator was trying to be a Maxim for gamers thing but holy crumbs. Even as comedy this comes up short. I almost would say you could make a drinking game out of reading this article but you'd probably die taking shots whenever "a female" showed up. Also extra points for the advice to hide your gaming interest from a woman until you "bag" her because not letting your partner know about an important hobby in your life is a great way to make sure she's interested in it. >_>

Transcription for screenreaders (thanks again to Bella (@MoviePosters00) for the transcription):

A GAME GEEK’S GUIDE TO GETTING GIRLS

Okay palm-shavers, listen up! Reaction time is a factor. Say the first word that comes into your mind when we say "flying fat baby with a bow and arrow." No — not Messiah! Dammit, your answer is the reason we're writing this article. When you see that pint-sized chubby cherub whizzing around plinking people, it means Valentine's Day is breathing down your neck ... and baby, with this much love magic in the air, even you might be able to get a date.

As a service to you, our reader and — dare we say it — our friend, PCXL has sought an answer to the mystery that plagues so many gamers, "how do I get a girl?" We've searched high and low, discussed this conundrum over beer, subjected ourselves to countless seconds of daytime talk shows, drank more beer, picked up (and hastily put down) many women are from Venus-type books, slurped down more brew ... and, amazingly, reached an answer.

COMMUNICATION

To get chicks, a guy needs to communicate — often by talking. Realizing this Herculean task would prove impossible for almost any gamer worth his gaming spurs, and tougher for those even more worthless, we beat our heads against this barrier for days (and sucked down more beer) until a glimmer of hope laser-burned its way through the hangover.

What if we simply played to our strengths? What if we're so good at gaming, it somehow triggers an "I want the alpha male" response in females? Heavy stuff. Before we could commit our theory to print, we knew it needed rigorous testing, experimentation, quantifiable results. Unfortunately, we have no scientific credibility whatsoever. But we've never let a lack of credibility stop us before.

TERMINOLOGY

Here's a quick primer of terminology used in our experiments ...

Chick = Girl = Babe = Woman = Lady = Female = The ones with the bumps who constantly perplex us

Game Guy = You = Horny = Geek-like = Perplexed = Everyone needs a little help sometimes

Game =Game

Theory = An unproven idea that's more than likely wrong

Hypothesis = An unproven idea that's more than likely wrong. Also, the side of a right-angled triangle opposite the right angle.

Postulate = Something you assume from the outset to be true, unproven and wrong pretty much by definition

PCXL = Horny = Geek-like = Perplexed = Everyone needs a little help — and we're here to give it

EXPERIMENT ONE: THE "INTERACTIVE ROMANCE"

SUMMARY

In an ongoing effort to bring males and females together via the arena of computer gaming, a number of new companies are creating "gender-friendly'" titles. DreamCatcher Interactive (http://www.dream-catchergames.com) has developed an interactive romantic adventure based on a true story. The Legend of Lotus Spring (set to release February 2000) has players of most major sexes participating in the story of a young emperor and the woman that he is forbidden to love. Described as a "whimsical, non-violent game," TLLS takes you to the Far East over 100 years ago, touching on cultural, as well as romantic and adventure elements. As a date-locating technique, the TLLS experiment was an abject failure, as evidenced by this Session Excerpt from a co-ed focus group:

SUBJECT ONE (female)

They should've gotten Fabio to be in this thing!

SUBJECT TWO (female)

I'd like to help with the "motion capture" for that!

SUBJECT ONE (female)

It's so whimsical and non-violent!

SUBJECT THREE (female)

Awwwww, look at that! There's a "virtual serenade."

SUBJECT FOUR (male)

Sweet Jesus, please let me die.

PLUSES

Subjects 1-3 enjoyed whimsical, non-violent gameplay; Subject 4 also experienced Culture and Sensitivity-Broadening elements, as per his previous plea bargain with the City and County of San Francisco, California. (His original offense involved animal shelter felines and "Black Cat" brand firecrackers, but we shan't elaborate on that story.)

MINUSES

Despite a sincere effort on Subject Four's part to share the cultural and romantic elements of the game, considerable friction erupted. Subjects 1-3 suggested a "Fore-Player HunkMatch" mode while Subject Four insisted the experience remain a "Single-Player Shooter." Alas, Subject Four did not survive the triple-strength Silent Treatment that ensued.

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

Minus One. Not only did the male subject fail to score, but he was repeatedly and needlessly reminded of his utter lack of resemblance to Fabio.

EXPERIMENT TWO: PLAYING HOUSE

THE SIMS

Frankly, everyone believes that The Sims, from software-as-living-toy masters Maxis, is going to be an absolutely cool game. If you didn't read last month's exposé (crawl out from under your rock), it's the "game of life" made real.

You develop characters, Sims as they're called, and guide, coddle, force, etc. them through various phases in life, searching for financial and marital success. You can end up a lazy, jobless, criminal (much like the PCXL editorial staff) or you can develop a thriving career, gain the respect of your peers and co-workers, and generally lead the sort of enviable life we'll never quite achieve.

Lightbulb flashin' over your noggin yet? That's right — this should be perfect for connecting with chicks! We had the same thought ... not surprisingly, we once again demonstrated our total lack of experience and knowledge of the female thought process.

We were deep into the experiment when we realized that playing The Sims with a cute lass is like eating the broccoli and skipping dessert. How so? The Sims is just so real when you play it with a chick. They actually try to do well with their characters and they want you to succeed too. By the time you're done, you're married, employed, saddled with children ... and you haven't even gotten a kiss off the girl (in real life).

PLUSES

If you're really hard up, The Sims is sort of like practice for relating to real flesh and blood females.

MINUSES

The Sims presents all the work with none of the perks. Perhaps the most telling test-result was this ... babes don't get weak-kneed around men who play house!

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

2.5 dollies — While the game initially got the attention of the female subjects and painted the male subject in a sensitive light, it eventually rendered the male subject more hard up than ever in "real life."

EXPERIMENT THREE: GIRLS THINK THEY CAN DRIVE

NASCAR LEGENDS & TEST DRIVE 6

Why did man invent the wheel? So he could invent cars. Why did he invent cars? So he could impress chicks, of course. The attempt to translate the theory that "chicks are impressed by car-savvy guys" into "chicks are impressed by car-GAME-savvy guys" began with Test Drive 6 from Infogrames —and an utter failure to "get her motor running." The following audio was recorded during a race through Rome:

GUY

Hey! Watch the curve coming up!

CHICK

Is there a map? I don't think this is the best route, we should stop and ask for directions. Isn't Father of the Bride on Channel 4 tonight?

CAR

[CRASHES]

The session was immediately scrubbed and re-started the next day using Nascar Legends. In addition to bitchin' graphics, the incredibly realistic races in Nascar Legends are on tracks — eliminating the whole map thing. Our male test subject was able to expound on the muscular virtues of a 1970 Plymouth and get veeeery groovy in his lingo.

GUY

This is so groovy.

CHICK

Did you just say the word "groovy"?

As the race intensified, Nascar Legends and the general grooviness seemed to be having the desired effect.

CHICK

Mmmmm, wish I could drive this with a joystick ...

Unfortunately, this test case proved inconclusive, because the friggin' puss — ahem — guy, made the fatal mistake of paying too much attention to the game and ignoring the girl. He allowed a full 37 seconds to elapse before responding to the joystick statement, sending several possible messages to the test chick:

A) He was not interested in any way whatsoever in helping her get her hands on a joystick.

B) He cared more about the game than he did about her.

C) He is a total lame-ass and is wasting oxygen that a real man could use to deliver a clever joy-stick retort.

Despite the excellence of Nascar Legends, this experiment resulted in the death-knell response:

CHICK

Isn't Father of the Bride on Channel 4 tonight?

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

Five joysticks for the game, three joysticks for the experience of actually playing this with a female, and an obvious and complete lack of a joystick on the part of the male test subject.

EXPERIMENT FOUR: CHANGING TACK

NOCTURNE

When G.O.D. opened the Spook-House doors and unleashed their deliciously ghastly Nocturne, little did they imagine the power they were placing in the hands of the would-be non-virginal male. A combination of "X-Files" chic and classic survival horror action, Nocturne will give you the tools to awaken your "little zombie" from the dead, but you can't expect G.O.D. to do all the work. Take a cue from the game's incredible atmosphere and transform your grotty little hovel into an environment suitable for jitters-induced romance. Lower the lighting ... candles would be a nice touch. Make sure your friend/room-mate/mom (oh, you sad little boy) won't pop in and burst your love-bubble at the climactic moment. Steal some grave stones and casually lay them about:

GIRL

Are those real grave stones?

YOU

Oh, these? They sure are.

GIRL

You're so cool, after we play a little bit of Nocturne, let's do some ... rubbings.

Don't talk during the game play if you can help it. Let the silence and tension build so that when a shambling horror suddenly lunges at her onscreen persona, she'll shriek. The effect is totally ruined, however, if you're the one who lets loose an effeminate shriek.

PLUSES

With proper set-up and execution, a "Nocturne Date" will deliver more sizzle than a dozen oysters. Even if you don't score, a night of blasting werewolves and zombies is a night well spent.

MINUSES

There's a definite gross out factor at work here. When ghouls overwhelm your date and feast on her twitching on-screen corpse, she may be more inclined to vomit than make out with you. On the other hand, you can turn this negative to your advantage by slapping a hand over the offending image and intoning in your best movie hero voice, "This isn't something you want to see."

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

Four Severed Zombie arms. Good for you!

EXPERIMENT FIVE: SAVE ME HERO!

THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT

Admittedly an unlikely candidate for Date Movie of the Year, The Blair Witch Project — the overhyped no-budget, shake-cam, low-grade-video epitaph for three missing-and-presumed-screwed filmmakers — yielded the highest results in terms of female subjects exposed versus female subjects, ah, exposed. Throughout the course of the film, the three actors lose their bearings. hurl profanities at each other, and eventually meet an enigmatic but doubtless unpleasant end.

Of course, the game version of this, utilizing the Nocturne engine, is in the works and will be published by G.O.D. A clingy female, the DVD, followed by the game… what kind of loser would you have to be screw up this opportunity for a terror induced tryst? Now where the f —k is the map?

PLUSES

The overwhelming majority of female subjects tested responded positively. often sporadically clinging to the males next to them during, and in most cases after, the film. At least two left the theater with the stated intention of staying with the males that evening. Of course, at least a quarter of the male subjects also clutched the males next to them at least once during the film. There are, ah, other magazines that will deal with those test results.

MINUSES

A very. very slim but noteworthy percentage (about 8%) of otherwise-sensitive female subjects found the film's terror element utterly ineffective —thereby degrading the relative status of the participating males (who thought the film was scary) to that of instant, shriveled Weenie. “This is so not cool, Josh!”

OVERALL SUCCESS RATING (OUT OF FIVE)

Five wood-stick-figure-thingies. Heh, heh, heh — we said "wood."

WHAT WE LEARNED

Of course, much of our experimentation assumed the herculean task of getting the girl into your "love nest” in the first place. If you can manage that, then it's best to keep your passion for gaming a secret (until you've bagged her).

Going the route of using horror to terrify a “victim”' to your arms is more fraught with problems (not to mention issues of legality). So get them in to your life in whatever way you can, then you can use the tips and game styles we've investigated to ensure that you can still spend time at your PC and keep the girlfriend happy (a tough mix — trust us).

What could possibly be better than a lovely co-operative Diablo adventure, a Worms: Armageddon face-off, or living out your virtual lives together in Everquest or Asheron's Call?

Remember though, that the real fun and frolics needs to be done in the real world, not online. There are probably laws against that kind of thing.

EXPERIMENT SIX: LET’S GET LITERARY

SALEM'S LOT

This technique was developed outside our offices but captured on videotape. It's so diabolical, so shameless, that we hesitate to even report it. But we will anyway.

The Diabolical Test Subject (DTS for short) had candles lit, Courvoisier at the ready, and was seated with a girl (GIRL for short) on a couch. Further still, he was, brace yourselves, talking to her. In the midst of our shock we realized that he was reading.

It took us two minutes to determine what tome of romantic lore he was reciting ... it was Salem's Lot, by Stephen King.

You may be saying "So what? I'm a gamer, not a librarian.” Or perhaps you've seen the 1970s made-for-TV movie “Salem's Lot" starring Starsky (or was it Hutch?) Well, pay attention Love Master ... by borrowing someone else's words you'll seem smart. By displaying no fear (even during the graveyard scene with little Danny Glick) you'll seem more manly. But above all else, by reading, you will appear to be communicating.

At press time we hadn't managed to work out whether Blue Byte's new Stephen King-based release F13 will induce the same terror effect as Salem's Lot. It does feature a new story from the currently rehabilitating horror-meister and desktop themes and screensavers, etc. for fan boys. Fan-girls are fewer, but never turn to their touchy-feely drivel as a substitute.

TIFFANYSDOMAIN.COM

Do you know why we love Tiffany so much? (If you've seen her pictures here and you don't know, you've got bigger problems than we thought). We love her because she's on Playboy's new video "Wildwebgirls.com"

And we love her because she's on the Playboy Channel's "Night Calls." She also has her very own website that we've been spending an inordinate amount of time “researching” for this feature ... tiffanysdomain.com.

If, after reading this little bit of prose, you still remain chickless, you can see a whole lot more of Tiffany (and a wagon-load of other babes who have problems staying dressed) on "Wildwebgirls.com”... or checkout www.playboy.com for all the steamy details.

Thanks Tiffany!

#magazines #pc accelerator #video games #double standards #representation #general sexism #links #submission

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night-rise · 4 years

Text

F.O.W.L’s PLAN

F.O.W.L... The fiendish organization for World larceny..

They live up to their reputation of being fiendish. A group of criminal masterminds with enough power, brains and resources to give people like Scrooge and Darkwing Duck a run for their money. They are a threat that have the capability to destroy the entire duck family.

Scary part is... that’s just what they’re doing this season..

Their sights are set on anyone connected to Scrooge McDuck and they have stepped out of the shadows to challenge them and destroy them once and for all...

But how?

What’s the plan? What plan can be great enough to challenge them? The Duck family have conquered shadow armies, an alien invasion and have defeated countless other villains.

This beautiful family is strong and is growing stronger with each new ally they meet. BOY’D is a freakin super robot now! And we have Lena! She’s already an army in one lol What could FOWL possibly do to match this families strength?

Well that’s what we’re here to find out! And I think I got something.. Something that very well could be the end of Scrooge and his family...

Hey guys! NightRise here with another head scratching theory that will have you up all night pondering

In my previous and first FOWL theory (which I would suggest you go read before reading this. It’s super short don’t worry lol) I talked about the connections between the Bounce serum and Fentons Energy Crystal. How they both could be related to a larger scheme because both are related to BOUNCING.

But how do these two things fit in with fitches journal? The thing that seems to be FOWLS main focus this season.

What’s the missing piece to this plan?

Well I’m here to kick start the many possibilities that is FOWLS plan and help you all see the connections. Maybe you’ll take something from this to help with your own theories.

Now I’m telling you right now that this theory is absolutely a stretch and has about a 50% chance of being accurate. For the obvious reasons being that we’re not even half way through the season yet and we still have so much more of FOWL left to see.

But because of the pieces that I found connecting so well together and the show going on a little hiatus (boo) I thought I’d go ahead and drop this off now.

It’ll be my final theory on this fiendish organization and I want to share it with you the good people so you have something during the break to think over and keep you up at night theorizing.

So with that VERY long introduction out of the way, lets rise into this:

I’ve been thinking a lot about the bounce serum and it’s capabilities. What FOWL was going to use it for and how they think it’ll help them rule the world.

But how exactly? How does bouncing help with that?

Black Heron said she wanted to use the serum to create super soldiers to cause mass destruction and chaos across the- ... (Why am I having Captain America flashbacks...?)

Anyway!

But the thing with that is from what I’ve seen the Bounce juice doesn’t really cause mass destruction when its consumed by a normal person. It just makes them bounce and invulnerable to fall damage. It didn’t create a shockwave of destruction or anything like that when they landed. So how is she going to cause destruction with it?

Bouncing is only good for escaping or surviving from high up places. How could it possibly destroy anything?

Well I got to thinking. What happens when we bounce in a second story house on the top floor? It creates a stomp. A loud BOOM!

Vibrations

And the higher we jump the greater that vibe is. So I got to thinking where would strong vibrations be the most effective and catastrophic?

UNDERGROUND!

Earthquakes!

According to an adorable red hatted nerd we know, Earthquakes are shifting plates that move.

But as also stated by another adorable duckling “who’s pushing the plates”

(Okay so you might already know where I’m going with this and like I stated previously this is what I meant by this theory being stretched and far fetched. But this was the ONLY connection I could make with this so please bear with me, you’re about to see the connections I PROMISE)

There are only one species I know that are capable of causing earthquakes with little to no effort..

The final piece that I think is in FOWLS plan is.......

The Terrafirmians!

I know, I KNOW it’s crazy. And some of you are probably already leaving but HEAR. ME. OUT. PLEASE. Let me SPEAK. Cause I’m about to explain why.

As usual I’ll try to keep it as brief as I can:

Terrafirmians, ancient rock like cretrues that live in a society deep underground. Not much different from the above ground civilization.

Their capability to move around the earth effortlessly is amazing. And they are incredibly strong. With little to no effort they were able to make a clean safe passage back to the surface for the Duck family in a matter of seconds. Their rock like exterior makes them almost impenetrable.

Honestly they would make the perfect soldiers for anybody.........

So why wouldn’t FOWL want them in their army? They certainly can find a use for them. One specific use in general:

To use the juice

The Bounce juice is an organic drink, so you can’t give it to an army of robots. And we’ve seen what happens when you give it to a normal person. Not much.

But the Terrafirmians with their already tough exterior (which was redesigned in this reboot series. From furry and plush to rocky and tough) would cause a lot of damage if they were bouncing around everywhere. Bouncing is how they operate. They bounce and crash into rocks. But instead of digging right through the earth they’ll bounce right off of it, creating vibrations.

That serum would be perfect for them. Perfect for FOWL. An impenetrable army that could cause so much destruction in an instant. It’s the perfect plan.

Think of the time gap between the two missions involving the bounce serum.

Why did Heron return after so much time had past?

For so many years she could’ve attempted to capture Beakley and get the serum information she needed. So many chances. Why wait? Why was FOWL so quiet for so long and then suddenly pick up where they left off DECADES ago?

What changed?

I’ll tell you what changed. The plan changed. The original idea they had for the serum.

When Heron was explaining the plan she didn’t really sound like she had all the pieces together. Just soldiers bouncing “here, there and everywhere”. It was messy and not well put together.

It sounded like a disorganized plan for an organization.

FOWLS original plan was incomplete and had too many errors. So it was unnecessary at the time. That’s why FOWL didn’t try to go after the juice the first time Heron failed to acquire it. They weren’t desperate. They didn’t need it then. They found it unnecessary.

So why is it now that they are trying to complete that mission? What makes now different from back then? Why is it now necessary to acquire the serum after all this time?

Because they found the final piece they needed.

The Terrafirmians

But wait! How are we even sure we’d see them ever again in this season? Well because we only saw 4-5 of them. There’s an entire civilization of these guys. Are we really not going to explore more of them? This season is all about Huey so why wouldn’t we go back to the first obstacle he faced in the series?

Think I’m crazy?

Remember what Bradford Buzzard said at the end of Double-O-Duck? “We’re going to take it from them. From right underneath McDucks nose” UNDERNEATH! That’s gotta be a clue.

Their FOWL base!! Its underground! They moved from a tower to an underground lair. WHY? The tower looked perfectly fine to me. It seemed to be working just fine. Why move underground? That’s another clue.

But how does Fitches journal (which was found UNDERGROUND) fit into all this? Well allow me to explain.

The Terrafirmians are a peaceful friendly tribe, that have no beef with surface dwellers. If they had a problem with them they would’ve showed up a long time ago. But they haven’t. It’s obvious they want peace.

This doesn’t fit in with FOWLS plan though. So they are looking for a way to change the Terrafirmians way of thinking. Take away their peaceful ideals. They want to corrupt them. Control them

Mind control.

They are looking for an artifact that helps with that. It’s become obvious that they are not looking to acquire every artifact in that journal.

If that was the case they would’ve been there to steal the Harp from the ducks or showed up after they left to take it. But they didn’t. Not a sign of them anywhere.

And they already have the third eye diamond. Found in their personal archives. (How that’s possible is full of theories that I will leave to someone else to work on lol)

But by the way it was presented in the episode Double-O-Duck, it didn’t seem like it was needed. Or important. Just a side project. Why?

Because they are after a SPECIFIC artifact. One that would help with controlling the Terrafirmians. That’s what Bradford meant by “The race is on”. The race to the final key they need. The final key like...

The Stone of What Was!

“STONE”. That’s already connected to the earth. There’s a chance this stone is with the Terrafirmians. Or it might be the case that this stone will help whoever has it find the hidden civilization that is the Terrafirmians.

Kinda strange they’re saving that one for last, don’t you think?

Could that be the final thing they need? Would that bring them total control? Who knows but it’s interesting that the creators of the series would save that adventure for last.

But wait, how does Fentons crystal fit into all of this? How would that help FOWL in anyway?

Well if my previous theory was correct, Gandra is already working on that solution.

See that’s the thing about theories everybody! When you do them, include everyone that applies to it!

Putting certain characters in scenarios that fit them. And that’s what I did with Gandra. Shes a scientist plus she has a connection with Fenton. Her and Fenton obviously are going to meet again. What else would she possibly work on?

She’s going to replicate Fentons experiment on a larger scale. Wrap the Terrafirmians in that same synthetic crystal, like clothing or Energy suits, to boost the power of their bounce.

The greater the bounce the greater the vibration.

FOWL is going to control an army of Terrafirmans, give them bounce juice and wrap them up in Fentons Synthetic crystal so they’ll be powerful enough to create INSTANT EARTHQUAKES!

But not in a city wide rage! Specific locations. FOWL said they don’t want to destroy the world. Just the Duck family. In fact they don’t want to destroy the world at all. But steal it from everybody else. What better way to do that then to have an army of earthquack making soldiers that can split up and target each individual family member and take them out unsuspectedly?

FOWL said it themselves they want to do things smarter. What’s smarter than an earthquake making army you can’t see coming that can take you out before you even know what’s going on? At anytime. ANYWHERE.

The very world itself would turn against the Duck family. It’ll be robbed from them!

They don’t call it “WORLD LARCENY” for nothing am I right?

Magica and Lunaris already tried taking the aggressive approach and failed. Now FOWL wants to do things more stealth like. In the shadows. Leaving no trail that will lead back to them. The charging head first method has failed multiple times so FOWL is trying something different.

Still think it’s crazy?

Well check this out:

What do you guys notice about this picture? For one thing it has every target that FOWL is after on it. But what else do you see? Where are they?

In the sky..

Now why would everybody meet up in the sky? Is it because maybe the ground is currently unsafe? Hmmmmmmmm?!

Brute force is not going to work this time. It’ll be a battle of intelligence. Lucky for us we have a duckling that can out brain all of FOWL

They might have an army

But we have a Huey...

I’m looking forward to seeing the outcome of this season. This hiatus WILL be the end of me I just know it lol but it gives us the fans plenty of time to figure this out. I’ll be looking forward to taking this journey with you all.

If I said it once this season I’ll say it again

BRING. IT. ON. F.O.W.L.

#ducktales #season 3 #ducktales 2017 #scrooge mcduck #f.o.w.l.#dt huey #huey duck #Terrafirmians #fowl #fenton crackshell #gandra dee

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im-up-to-shenanigans · 4 years

Text

Say You'll Be Mine (1/?)

Read on ao3

Read on fanfiction.net

Summary: They were not meant to be together. Still, the heart is a pesky and stubborn thing. No curse AU with Lieutenant Duckling.

Rating: T

Characters: Emma Swan, Captain Hook | Killian Jones, Liam Jones, Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard, Prince Charming | David Nolan, Red Riding Hood | Ruby Lucas

Relationships: Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan

~*~*~*~

A/N: This is the first fic I’ve posted in a long time for this fandom, so please be gentle as I get back into the groove.

~*~*~*~

When she’d first received the news that a ship named the Jewel of the Realm had just arrived in port, Emma was stunned.

Throughout her studies as the crown princess, she had always loved the history books, those belonging to her own kingdom and others’. Well, to be more precise, she loved the books that told of historical legends. Stories from the past where no one knows how much is based on fact or on fiction. One of her all-time favorites, one that intrigued her more than any other, was the Legend of the Lost Crew.

She first discovered the tale from her mother. Emma loved bed time stories when she was a little girl. Every night, she refused to sleep unless her mother told her a story. One night, when Emma was seven years of age, Snow White told her daughter about one of her favorite stories as a girl, one her father Leopold told her.

About three centuries ago, while the kingdom of Misthaven was at war with another kingdom, a corrupt king had supposedly sent his flagship, the Jewel of the Realm, to an unknown land to gather a magical and medicinal plant, one said to cure any disease. The last recorded sighting of the Jewel came from the logs of enemy ships, a frigate and two corvettes, claiming they were in pursuit of the Jewel, when it deployed a sail seemingly made from feathers and flew. The ship and her crew disappeared into the clouds and were never seen or heard from again.

Many speculated what could have happened to the lost crew, even years after the king was overthrown and Emma’s family claimed the throne. Emma herself didn’t particularly believe a ship could fly, but she lived in a realm with magic, so she supposed anything was possible.

She became fascinated by the missing ship and spent much of her free time among the books trying to find any trace of the Jewel or her crew. She scanned record books, captain’s logs, history books, and books of local legends from any kingdom that she could get her hands on (and being the crown princess, it wasn’t difficult), but no one knew anything about the ship or the men on board after they vanished.

Some speculated they got lost at sea. Others thought the ship may have been destroyed in a particularly terrible storm. Others speculated the crew rebelled against the king and became pirates, changing the name of the ship to cover their tracks. Still, others thought perhaps the lieutenant, in want of the glory the discovery would bring, killed his older brother the captain and was then faced with a mutiny, eventually leading to the entire crew killing each other.

Emma wasn’t certain which theory was more likely, only a gut feeling the last one was the least plausible. Even though she had no siblings herself, she doubted anyone selfless enough to serve their country during a time of war would kill their own brother for glory.

Then again, the people at the time doubted their king could ever be corrupt, a belief shattered when he attempted genocide on innocent civilians of the enemy kingdom, leading to the uprising that brought Emma’s family to power, so she guessed the theory had some merit. As much as any of them, that is.

Still, the unsolved mystery of history was one Emma always enjoyed trying to solve on her own, even if her efforts were fruitless. It did happen three hundred hears ago, after all.

So, when she heard the reports of the ship bearing the same name as the one from the legend coming into port, she could hardly contain her excitement once she overcame her shock. When her father sent messengers to invite the acting officers on board to the castle to meet with him, she eagerly asked if she could be present for the meeting.

David simply smiled, knowing of his daughter’s fascination with the legend, and agreed.

The captain was wary, but accepted the invitation.

Emma was practically buzzing with excitement. She smoothed her hands over her skirt and fidgeted with her sleeves until her mother placed a gentle hand on her arm to still her.

When the doors to the throne room opened, Emma's heart started racing. Two officers entered in uniforms of white, blue, and gold.

The two men bowed politely. The taller one stepped forward and introduced himself as Captain Liam Jones and the man with him as his lieutenant and brother, Killian Jones.

Emma appraised both men. The captain was good looking, she supposed, with blue eyes, brown, curly hair, and a short beard, but nothing special. He certainly didn’t look like the stuff of legends (Emma refused to acknowledge the part of her that was disappointed at that). So, she turned to his brother —

— and felt her heart stop.

His. Eyes. They were so blue. And yeah, so were his brother's, but the lieutenant's eyes drew her in, made her hold her breath, made her heart flutter. They held a promise when they met hers. A promise of what, she didn’t know, but her hands started to nervously twist the fabric of her skirt again when he shyly glanced back down to his feet, allowing Emma to appreciate his long lashes and his cute bangs.

Gods, help me. He’s adorable.

She knew she was staring, but she didn’t care. She vaguely heard her father and Captain Jones discussing something or other, but her gaze was solely focused on the lieutenant that captivated her.

He lifted his gaze back to hers and gave a small smile, the right side of his mouth quirking ever so slightly before his tongue darted out to wet his lips. Which, of course, drew Emma’s attention to said lips. She couldn’t help the fantasies that immediately bombarded her. She imagined that his lips would be soft, a delightful contrast to his scruff. She wondered what they would look like when they were kiss-swollen and bruised.

I wonder if he’s a good kisser.

She gave herself a mental shake. She was a princess! She couldn’t be fantasizing about kissing a lieutenant, especially not when her parents were still in the room!

She felt her cheeks flush, heat crawling up the back of her neck as she finally (reluctantly) tore her gaze away from Lieutenant Jones. She tried to refocus on the conversation between her father and the captain, but failed miserably when she saw her mother watching her out of the corner of her eye. The heat in her face and neck grew worse, as she knew she’d been caught staring. She clasped her hands in her lap and focused her gaze on them until she heard her mother speak up for the first time.

"Captain, it would be our great honor to host a ball celebrating your return," she said with a smile.

Captain Jones bowed his head slightly. "Thank you, Your Highness, but a ball is, though generous, not necessary. My crew and I have been away for a long time and would like a chance to rest and adjust to being back in our own realm. Especially after we’ve been away for so long."

Snow's smile remained. "Well, if not a ball, then you must at least join us for dinner. We would not be very good hosts if we did nothing to honor your return to Misthaven."

He smiled respectfully. "Well then, Your Highness, we accept your invitation."

David nodded. "Very well, then. Tonight, we shall feast."

~*~*~*~

Emma huffed as Red tied up the laces of her dress. Even if she was excited about the leading officers of the Lost Crew staying for dinner, she didn’t understand why she needed to dress up. The dress she was wearing earlier was fine.

But, her mother had insisted. And the gods help anyone who tried to change Snow's mind on anything. Just ask her dad.

She was grateful that Red at least tied it loose enough so she could breathe.

"All done, Emma." Red stood back and allowed her to look at herself in the mirror.

Emma took one look and smiled when she realized the dark green of the dress brought out her eyes. I wonder if Lieutenant Jones likes the color green. No, stop it, Emma. You haven’t even really met the guy. Still, the small smile remained, now accompanied by a barely noticeable blush dusting her cheeks.

"You seem happy for someone who was just huffing about being forced to dress up a few moments ago. What’s on your mind?" Red asked as she reached for the hairbrush.

"Nothing," she answered war too quickly to be convincing. Way to be subtle, Emma. When Red raised an eyebrow at her reflection, Emma felt her cheeks burn and watched in embarrassment as the slight blush darkened in color.

"Nothing, huh? Then why are you blushing?" Red paused in the brushing of Emma's hair. "It wouldn’t have anything to do with our guests tonight would it?"

She shook her head, ignoring the heat crawling up the back of her neck at the lie. "Of course not. I haven’t even really met him. I mean, I was in the room when he were introduced, but I didn’t really talk to him. Well, and neither did he. His brother and Dad did most of the talking and—" She cut herself of when she realized she was rambling. And that she had specified which one of the Jones brothers she was supposedly not thinking about.

She stared down at her hands clasped in her lap as Red gave a low hum. The two were silent as she continued to brush Emma's hair until it flowed down her back in gentle, golden waves.

"The lieutenant, right?" Red broke the silence as she placed the brush down on the vanity.

Emma sighed. "Yeah."

"Snow told me you couldn’t stop looking at him." Red picked up a necklace with a silver swan charm with an emerald set as the eye.

Emma was silent as she held her hair. The brunette clasped the chain behind her neck, and she let her hair down.

"You know you can’t get too attached, Emma." She paused for a moment, resting her hand on the blonde's shoulder. "He’s a navy man, and you're a princess."

She gave a barely perceptible nod. "I know." She sighed again. "It’s dumb anyway. Like I said, I don’t even know him."

Red gave her a sympathetic smile. "Well, it’s time for dinner." With that, she left Emma to her own thoughts.

She stood staring at her reflection for a moment. "He’s just a lieutenant. You can’t get attached."

And even though no words had been exchanged between them, Emma felt her chest tighten just the slightest bit at the thought of blue eyes and dark hair.

Tags: @superchocovian

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gayboysero · 4 years

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Mansplain Skyrim lore to me. Give me the deets. The Tea.

ohhhhhhhh my god

okay in my defense its been a while since ive actively Read the Wiki (which i used to do for fun) but here are some of my favorite fax and details

if the imperials actually cared, they would crush the stormcloak rebellion. one of general tullius’s dialogue lines is that he can’t get the bulk of cyrodil’s upper ranks to take the skyrim civil war seriously. he struggles to get enough troops to keep the war at a standstill. if ulfric stormcloak succeeded in taking solitude and becoming high king, the full might of the cyrodillic empire and the aldmeri dominion would be unleashed on skyrim. i’m not saying it would be a total victory, the stormcloak have a knowledge of the region and support within skyrim (and maybe an alliance with morrowind or black marsh who are not part of the empire, although i dont see why argonians and dark elves would want to work with modern nords). however, i dont think even the nords could stand up to both the empire and the dominion.

there are a number of great houses in morrowind that are constantly vying for political power. my fave is indoril, house of the nerevarine, for personal (oc) reasons. however, indoril has been unpopular since the collapse of the tribunal, who they were hugely connected to. then the red year fucked up most of vvardenfell (sparing mournhold, the capitol of house indoril), and argonians invaded and sacked mournhold and its surrounding cities. they’re doing better though! they’ve rebuilt mournhold in some capacity and will likely regain their influence in time

another dunmer house got shit on so badly they’re no longer considered one of the Greats. house hlaalu was really close with the empire, working and trading with them n all that. then during the oblivion crisis, most of the empire’s soldiers were called back to cyrodil to defend the capitol, leaving morrowind defenseless against the daedra. house redoran stepped up and defended the country both from the daedra and then the invading argonians. hlaalu was hated for its connection to the empire and taken off of morrowind’s council

that being said, houses hlaalu and dres were the first to try to outlaw slavery in morrowind and were hated by the more traditional dunmer houses, including indoril (not pog)

the akaviri are/were a humanoid race of (fantasy) japanese people originiating from akavir, far east of morrowind. sky haven temple was originally an akaviri outpost from the time they tried to invade skyrim. they had katanas! very cool people. anyways they’re all extinct now, having been literally or figuratively “eaten” by a serpentlike race called the tsaesci (say ess ee) who are also native to akavir. (there are also monkey people and tiger people on akavir. the whole content seems to be fantasy version of east asia, given both its very very far east geography and also everything else about it.)

there are a race of maormer (sea elves) south of the summerset isles. they’re ruled by a deathless wizard and no one knows much about them. im p sure they havent been seen since the 3rd era (skrim takes place in the 4th)

i feel like this is pretty well known, but the wood elves have an agreement with Yffre, the god of forest they live in (valenwood), to not kill or eat any plants. they’re basically antivegans. because of this, they often engage in cannibalism when fighting each other or outsiders.

the dwemer, tamriels dwarves/deep folk/etc were not actually short! they were named that by the giants native to skyrim, who are taller than everyone. dwemer were actually elf-height, probably equal to modern elves. one of the theories ive read about the disappearance of the dwemer is that the heart of lorkhan, which is the magical artifact they were trying to f with, acted as a big ol’ soul stone and gobbled them all up. sad if true!

jflskdfj theres this one book in skyrim, i think its called “ALDUIN IS REAL AND HE ENT AKATOSH” where some nordic farmer who couldnt write too good basically defended the case that alduin existed. (written before alduin came back). you can read it here

the nords are colonizerssss okay? fuck them. they came from a continent called atmora, north of tamriel and even harsher than skyrim. they settled in saarthol and were mostly minding their business when the snow elves. okay so the snow elves did do a massacare on them. which was uncool. so then the nords (then atmorans) responded by doing a near-genocide on the snow elves. all in all it was kind of a shitty situation. also to be fair to the nords, they probably didn’t count on the dwemer using their ~magic mushrooms~ to systematically devolve the snow elves into the race of creatures now known as the falmer. but still im not a huge nord fan lol

this is also probably common knowledge i think but the type of khajiit you encounter in most games is only one form a khajiit can have. depending on the positions of the moons at a khajiit’s birth, they can take up to 16 shapes, from the typical humonoid we’re familiar with to giant sabrecat like beasts to normal looking housecats. regardless of shape, all khajiit can communicate with each other (somehow). this is why house cats aren’t seen in skyrim; im pretty sure the only “housecats” in tamriel are actually just khajiit

i don’t remember the creation story of tamriel that well, but i know that the stars in the sky were created when the aedra (godlike beings) left the mortal plane and literally tore through the sky. the moons were created by two of the bigger more important gods, but i don’t remember who.

pretty much every story about the daedric prince molag bal comes with a huge trigger warning. just in general. he created vampires and no i willn’t tell you how. don’t worry about it, its not a fun story

the ~crazy~ daedric prince sheogorath (prince of madness, chaos, disorder) was actually once the prince of order and logic, and was called jygglag. he was so powerful that the other daedric princes cursed him to be a madman to keep him from getting in their way. once an era he turns back to his true self, but only for a short time.

im sorry this post is so long

#oops #i uh #i really like the elder scrolls #Anonymous

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artificialqueens · 4 years

Text

Aloha, Part 1: Sand Angels (Bitney) - Veronica

A/N: An Undone sequel that probably makes more sense if you’ve read the main story, set during the holidays, while Bianca is still pregnant with Ruby. Here’s a link to the story on AQ and here’s a link to it on AO3.

Summary: Courtney and Bianca spend Christmas in Maui, discovering their new favorite spot.

(Thank you to @artificialpuddle for being an amazingly patient beta!!)

TW: Discussion of past emotional abuse, trauma, and physical violence. (Side note: I know I said that these sequels would be fluffy, and they mostly are, but this is set before the end of the main story, so uh...we still got some major issues to work out.)

***

Bianca is exhausted by the time they wrap on season two of Silver Screens. She’s already embroiled in litigation with Jared’s family over exactly what’s happening with, not only his money, but their joint property. She’s considered giving up, just letting them win so that she can walk away, but ultimately, none of it is for her. Every time she looks down at her growing belly, she remembers who she’s fighting for, and it fuels her anger and her determination.

However, it’s draining. And she’s now almost six months pregnant, and the idea of flying to New Orleans for the holidays just sounds horrible. She knows that her family means well, but the constant checking up, the absolutely nonstop advice and questions, make it all worse.

After confiding all of these concerns to Bob, her therapist makes another suggestion: why not go somewhere else? A real vacation, just her and Courtney, somewhere they can truly get away from everything stressful and take some time for themselves?

She’s still not sure, but then she mentions the idea to Courtney, who is 200% on board, and by the end of the week, they’ve got flights to Maui, a hotel booked, and two weeks of pure, blissful lazing around time. Which all sounds wonderful in theory, but Bianca can’t help feeling a bit guilty about ditching her family.

However, the second her feet hit that white, powdery sand, she sighs in relief, turning to Courtney with a dimpled grin.

“Okay, you and Bob were right. Coming here was the right decision.”

Courtney leans forward to brush a gentle kiss against her lips.

“I suppose you don’t wanna race to the water,” she murmurs.

“I’ll race you when I’m not the size of a goddamn whale,” Bianca says, and Courtney giggles softly against her neck.

“Don’t even start, you know you’re perfect…”

A gentle tug pulls Bianca towards the ocean, which is warm and calm and as the waves lap against Bianca’s thighs, she starts to feel perfectly at ease.

“God, it’s beautiful…” Bianca sighs, staring out at the sparkling water.

“Sure is,” Courtney says, only she’s not looking at the scenery. Her eyes are fixated on Bianca’s face, watching her with a dreamy expression as a cool breeze blows her hair around.

Bianca tightens her grip on Courtney’s hand, trying to tell her without words how grateful she is, how lucky she feels. And Courtney seems to understand, pulling her close and wrapping her arms around her waist.

“Aloha…” she sings softly, and Bianca shakes her head, the smile on her face feeling permanent by now.

“Aloha yourself, cheeseball.”

***

Later, laying on a towel in the warm sand, Bianca sighs happily. She hasn’t been this relaxed in ages. Years, maybe. And the best part is that she has Courtney by her side, face tilted to the sun. She reaches languidly for her.

Courtney turns, gazing down at Bianca, and wraps a lock of still-damp dark brown hair around her finger.

“How are you feeling?” she asks softly, and Bianca smiles.

“Relieved...that we’re finally here.”

The past few months have been rough. Sometimes excruciatingly so. Courtney knows that no matter how hard Bianca tried to take things one day at a time, to not get so caught up in worrying about outcomes, that most of the time her mind was racing a mile a minute.

But now, there’s only the gentle breeze, the sound of rolling waves and the occasional bird, the fragrant air. It’s truly paradise, especially when Courtney’s lips find Bianca’s for a slow kiss, one hand resting on her belly.

“She’s kicking up a storm today,” Bianca says. “I guess we forgot to tell her that this is the chill zone.”

Courtney giggles, rubbing her belly in slow circles.

“Maybe she just heard how nice it is and wants to come join us.”

“You think she gets yelp reviews in there?” Bianca asks.

“Listen, this new generation is very technologically advanced. You have no idea.”

“That’s terrifying.” Bianca pulls Courtney in for another kiss, the baby kicking again.

“Wow, Dame Edna Del Rio really likes it here,” Courtney giggles.

“We both do. Thank you for suggesting this,” Bianca says, thumb stroking Courtney’s cheek lightly.

“All I want is for you to be happy…” Courtney tells her, seeking out her pulse point for another kiss that leaves her tingling.

And in that moment, Bianca is happy. Truly, deliriously happy.

It can’t last forever though--that feeling of perfect calm. The lovely bubble has to pop sometime. It does, of course, only a little while later, as they’re strolling on the beach hand in hand.

“I really worry about you sometimes,” Courtney admits, fingers laced with hers.

“You don’t have to worry.”

“But you’ve been through so much. You must have so much you need to deal with, and I just want you to know that you don’t have to do it alone.”

“I don’t want to spend all our time together talking about my stupid trauma,” Bianca says.

“I get that. But B, it doesn’t have to be all the time. Just sometimes. When you need to-”

“Can’t we just enjoy the fucking sunset?” Bianca groans. She stops, turning to face the water, watching the golden rays reflecting off the waves.

“Sure.” Courtney wraps her arms around her from behind, pressing a kiss to her neck, letting Bianca lean back into her touch.

It goes on like that for a few days. Any time Courtney tries to get deep with her, Bianca deftly changes the subject, cajoles her to live in the moment, or simply distracts her with physical affection. After awhile, Courtney catches onto her game.

They’re snuggled in bed after a long and wonderful day--exploring the island in the morning, followed by a lively Christmas luau. Courtney’s fingers card gently through her hair. Bianca’s face is tucked into her neck, inhaling her, almost sinfully relaxed, when she brings it up again.

“B…”

“Mmm?”

“I’ve been thinking about Jared.”

Bianca’s eyes pop open, spine going rigid. That’s not the name she wants to hear right now.

“Do you ever like...miss him?”

“No.”

Bianca’s hands slide around Courtney’s waist, pulling her closer.

“It would be okay if you did, you know-”

“I know, but I don’t.”

“Sometimes I feel really guilty. Like maybe if I wasn’t around, you’d have...I don’t know.” Courtney sighed.

“Stayed with him? Lived happily ever after? Are you fucking nuts?”

“No, of course not, but maybe it wouldn’t have ended in such a terrible way.”

“You know what would be more fun than this conversation?” Bianca asked, fingers digging into her waist. “You and me, fucking and then getting into that spa shower.”

“Bianca.”

“What?” Bianca’s lips have found her pulse point now, nibbling teasingly on her most sensitive spot.

“Just stop for a second,” Courtney says, wriggling away slightly. “I’m trying to talk to you.”

“I don’t want to talk about this.”

“I know, but you never want to talk about it, so-”

“Why can’t we just have sex instead?” Bianca whines, tugging on Courtney’s shorts. She purses her lips, giving her sexiest bedroom eyes. “I’ll make it worth your while…”

“Bianca! Stop.”

“Is this because I’m fat?”

Courtney rolls her eyes to the ceiling, seems to say a little prayer to herself before replying, “Do not even try that bullshit, you know damn well-”

“It is! I’m fat and hideous!” Bianca exclaims, hoisting herself off the bed, pacing around the room like a madwoman.

“B, come on, I’m serious…”

“So am I! I’m trying to fuck you, but all you want to do is talk, and-” Bianca stops. It’s the cheapest sort of deflection, the kind of game she used to play with Jared. Worse, it was the kind of game Jared used to play with her. Gaslighting.

The only upside, the only thing that prevents her from completely losing it, is that Courtney, for all her softness, is not buying one bit. Bianca suddenly feels as gross and hideous as she’s pretending to, all at once. Tears spilling down her cheeks.

Courtney waits, letting her have her little tantrum. When she finally returns to the bed, sinking down next to Courtney with her head in her hands, she feels fingers trailing gently up her spine.

A soft voice whispers, “I would love to know what you’re thinking right now, B. Really.”

Bianca looks up, her tear-stained cheeks blotchy, eyes red and swollen. She opens her mouth, but it still won’t come. Courtney takes her hands, kisses her fingers, keeps waiting.

“I’m a terrible person,” Bianca finally says.

Courtney has a pained expression on her face, like she’s doing everything she can to listen without arguing. She finally settles on, “Why do you think that?”

“Because I’m happy. I really am. And the more time goes by, the happier I am. He’s dead, and all I can think is...I’m fucking free. We’re free. This baby, she never has to know...”

Tears are falling faster now, blurring her vision. Courtney doesn’t say anything, just holds her for the longest time. When Bianca finally lifts her head, Courtney silently helps her to her feet, tugs her toward the door.

“Where are we going?” Bianca asks, but follows easily, wiping her eyes.

They’re both barefoot, walking down the stone path to the beach, powdery soft sand cool in the moonlight. The edge of the sky is still slightly glowing from the recently set sun, streaks of violet and dusty orange, the whole beach calm and beautiful, in that ethereal way where you can’t quite believe it’s real.

Courtney reaches the edge of the water and sits, helping Bianca down beside her. She stretches out her legs, letting the waves lick gently at her feet, tilting her face towards the sky, the glittering stars just beginning to appear.

“You’re not a terrible person, Bianca,” she finally says. “You’re just...a person.”

“And we’re all sinners? Is that it?”

“No. No, that’s not it at all. You’re a person, with flaws, but those flaws do not include a desire to hurt other people.”

“But I did.”

“You were just fighting for your life. Fighting for my life. The fact that we were even in that position--none of it was your fault. You’d worked so, so hard to avoid anything like it. I saw you.”

“Sometimes I worry that I’m...some kind of sociopath. Because I’m so glad he’s gone, and I...I can’t make myself feel anything different.” The tears are flowing freely down her cheeks again. Sometimes Bianca tries to fathom how she has any tears left about this, after the rivers and oceans she’s already cried. And this from someone who always described herself as ‘not really a big crier.’ Maybe a better description would be ‘generally out of touch with her emotions.’

“Do you think I’d be with you if you were violent? Dangerous?”

“I don’t know.”

“Look, I’m not saying you’re perfect. Nobody is. But every flaw, every little weird idiosyncrasy...all of that makes you who you are, and who you are…”

Courtney edges closer, taking Bianca’s chin and tilting it towards her.

“I love you so fucking much, B. And it’s not because I’m some kind of sadist. It’s because you make me…” Courtney bites her lip, a crease furrowing her brow.

“Frustrated?” Bianca tries to break the tension, as much as she can with tears still glistening on her cheeks, falling faster than she can wipe them away.

“No,” Courtney counters. “I mean, yes, sometimes, but also...hopeful. And appreciated. And challenged. And...so fucking happy.”

“Even tonight?”

“Yeah.”

“Even though I brought a whole world of chaos into your life?”

“Look at where we are.” Courtney gestures to their surroundings. “If you think I would trade away one second of this, of our lives right now, just to avoid some of that chaos, then...you don’t know me very well.”

Bianca swallows, looking at Courtney’s eyes burning bright in the moonlight, and she knows. She knows it’s true because she feels the same way. But she’s too mentally exhausted to explain how much she needed that reassurance. So instead, she finally just nods.

“Yeah.”

Courtney smiles and orders, “Lie back.”

“What? Why?”

“We’re gonna make sand angels.”

“Sand angels are not a thing, Courtney.”

“Yes they are! They’re a time-honored Australian Christmas tradition, just go with it.”

Bianca laughs softly, spreading her arms and legs, feeling ridiculous and childish and almost giddy. Not that she stops complaining.

“We’re too close to the water. They’re just gonna wash away, like, immediately.”

“Yeah, well…” Courtney gets up, drawing halos over first her own angel, and then Bianca’s, kneeling above her head, giving her an upside-down grin in the process. “That doesn’t mean they weren’t beautiful while they were here.”

“You’re so deep,” Bianca teases.

“I know, right? Sooooore deep. You’re very lucky.”

Bianca laughs, feels something akin to a knot unwinding in her chest, making her feel lighter. Younger. She sits up and spins around, grabbing Courtney’s face and pulling her in for a messy, slightly sandy and very salty kiss.

“I am.”

#rpdr fanfiction #bianca del rio #courtney act #bitney #angst #lesbian au #fluff #undone #aloha #veronica #tw discussion of past emotional abuse #tw discussion of trauma and physical violence

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ggukkiedae · 4 years

Text

HYYH Pt.1 Era

(trying out something a little different bc why not?)

Visuals

she. went. blonde!

it was always messy, too, and everyone lived for it

styling really depended on the concept for the stage, but she wore a lot of shorts and skirts

her mv and jacket shoot outfits though, she absolutely loved being dressed in casual yet somewhat styled clothes

Album Credits

production: Intro: 화양연화, I Need U, Converse High

lyrics: Intro: 화양연화, I Need U, Dope, Converse High, 이사

choreography: Dope

MV:

okay so we all know this was the era all those theories started

hers was somewhat obvious where she was part of a rich controlling family, but constantly rebelled to hangout with the boys

SHE DROVE HER MOTORCYCLE GUYS YES!

she had this eerily solemn scene in the beginning though where she was leaning against her parked motorcycle and staring wistfully at the busy intersection in front of her

in scenes with the other boys, she’s commonly seen laughing, yelling happily, and just generally watching everyone with a huge satisfied smile on her face

then there are clips of her silently standing while being scolded until eventually she just storms off, gets on her motorcycle, and drives away

and straight into the intersection

and everyone’s like ??? did she die??? is it connected to how jungkook died??? what???

(dont get me started on the prologue)

dope mv was pretty chill tho

(her assigned “job” lowkey indicated her as a psychiatrist)

Iconic Moments:

messy blonde hair. nuff said.

when she finally told the fandom that she used to be part of child motorcycle races beside being a gymnast

yoonmi being a genius and successfully stacking cups into a tower half her height but after the game was over and the opposite team won

featuring on Mickey Mouse Club and getting excited about there being three people younger than her (given one of them was only like less than two months younger, but still!)

on MMC she also talked abt life as a really young entertainer and she actually do be wise-ish

their first win and she burst out crying because it was the first title track she produced

when everyone at a fansign freaked over her saying she enjoyed rice wine(sake) in Japan when she really meant salmon (shake)

when a fan on ASC made her say “well, good evening, my lovelies. it’s a wonderful day for fish and chips or maybe biscuits and tea” in an exaggerated British accent

not being allowed to compete in isac, but cheering hella loud for her boys

when Jungkook tackled her in a hug right after winning the 400m race in ISAC

hiding herself in one of the upper lockers during their hide and seek game

her first solo vlive and Namjoon just threw her over his shoulder

dancing dope in heels!!! (given they’re like the thick ones but still!)

everyone getting taller but her still being a tiny 4’10” baby still waiting for her puberty-induced growth spurt

she got a lot of hate this era though :(( like with BTS’s sudden growth in popularity, there was a sudden growth in hate towards her

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skeptycats · 4 years

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Vicky Archives #5

FIRESTAR’S QUEST - storyline vs manuscript

Vicky Holmes, the former editor of the Warriors series, has been doing short extract readings on Facebook since the start of the UK lockdown back in March. There’s some really cool anecdotes hidden within some of these videos, so I decided to begin penning them down for posterity and easy reference.

I won’t be transcribing filler, hedging and false starts but I’m including some amount of preamble just to be comprehensive.

---

Good morning! Welcome back to my kitchen!

Today I’m in a slightly more positive mood and I hope you are too. It’s a very weird time. Today I’m going to talk about the difference between the storyline and the manuscript, because it is still very unclear what actually I do, what contribution I make to the books that I’ve worked on with Kate and Cherith.

Basically, in saying that I come up with the stories and the characters, what I actually do is create a very detailed storyline that Kate or Cherith then turn into the manuscript, and then I work on that manuscript and edit it and change little bits just to make sure that it sounds like Erin. It tells the story I had in mind.

I think the best way to illustrate this is I’m going to read a section of storyline, and then actually the finished book. I’m going to use Firestar’s Quest for this. The reason for that, is there’s a line in Firestar’s Quest which several of you have picked out as one of your favourite lines, and that is when Firestar is told by Bluestar about SkyClan, and the fact that there used to be five Clans in the forest and now there’s only four. Bluestar says ‘oh, look at Fourtrees, there’s only four trees, not five’. And Firestar says ‘are you telling me that SkyClan had to leave because there weren’t enough trees?’

That is one of my favourite lines, and I came up with it in the storyline. I don’t want to detract at all from Cherith’s brilliant writing, but it might be interesting for you to compare the detail I’ve put into the storyline with what actually emerges in the first draft.

I’m going to read the storyline from that scene, and then I will read the final draft you got to read. The scene is Chapter 5 in Firestar’s Quest, when Firestar has been having these strange dreams about another Clan, this idea that they’re pleading to him for help but he doesn’t seem to be receiving any guidance from StarClan. He dreams of Bluestar at this time because Firestar’s Quest is set between series one and two, so Bluestar is dead by now and Firestar is the leader of ThunderClan. He dreams of her and says ‘what’s going on? What do I have to do?’ and Bluestar says ‘well, actually yes there was a fifth Clan, a long time ago, and maybe they’re asking for your help, but there’s nothing in the warrior code that says you have to help them’. She’s kind of evasive.

This is the storyline. I’m reading it from my laptop. It’s all tech all the time here. Now one curiosity of storylines across the whole publishing world is storylines are written in the present tense, and actual novels rarely are in children’s fiction, so I’m going to be reading in the present tense. This is the storyline.

“Why has StarClan asked for my help?” Firestar asks. Bluestar admits she can’t answer that but she has always known Firestar would leave resonant pawprints behind him. Maybe his influence extends beyond ThunderClan, and across many, many generations of cats. But she warns Firestar that his own Clan needs him too, and there is nothing in the warrior code that says he has to go and help these cats.

Firestar knows he’s right, but he is torn. Has StarClan been lying to him all this time? The only way he found the courage to win against BloodClan is because he believed his warrior ancestors when they told him there would always be four Clans in the forest, protected forever by the fifth Clan - StarClan. What does this mean for the warrior code? Is that based on a lie too?

Bluestar can tell Firestar is feeling angry and confused, and she tries to calm him by reminding him that his warrior ancestors have always watched over him. His duty is to his own Clan now. SkyClan left long ago. No living cat remembers them, and life in the forest is balanced perfectly between the four remaining Clans. There is no gap where there used to be, no surplus of prey or territory.

She mentions the theory about the four giant oaks, and Firestar stares at her with contempt. “SkyClan was driven out because there weren’t enough trees?”

Bluestar looks shocked and dismayed, but Firestar whips around and races to the edge of the hollow. He plunges up the slope, feeling brambles tear at his fur, but he doesn’t care. He has been betrayed by his own Clan’s warrior ancestors, and everything he’s fought for seems to have turned to dust.

Panting, he awakes at the Moonstone. His fur is standing on end and his paws are bleeding as if he has run a long way over stony ground. The moon has gone behind a cloud and the cavern is pitch dark. He makes his way blindly to the surface and sits on a rock. Stars shine overhead but Firestar cannot see the kindly eyes of his warrior ancestors in their light now.

Poor, tortured, homeless SkyClan. Where are they now? And why has he started seeing them? Is he meant to help them? But how? They were driven out of the forest so long ago. No cat remembers them.

That was my storyline. And my storyline - to put in context - for Firestar’s Quest was thirty five thousand words long. Firestar’s Quest was about one hundred and sixteen thousand words long, so I’m writing nearly a quarter of the final manuscript.

Now I’m going to read to you what Cherith did with that piece of storyline.

“Firestar, are there bees in your brain?” Bluestar’s tail lashed. “You are ThunderClan’s leader, and your Clan needs you. There’s nothing in the warrior code that says you have to help a Clan that has been missing for so long, no living cat remembers them.”

Firestar narrowed his eyes. Bluestar was right about his responsibility toward ThunderClan, but he couldn’t forget the wailing of the cats on the moor. How could he ignore them, if there was anything he could do to help? It wasn’t Bluestar’s dreams that were filled with the shrieks of terrified, fleeing cats; she didn’t see a pleading, haunted face in every pool of water.

And yet the only reason he had found the courage to lead the forest Clans into battle against BloodClan was because he had believed his warrior ancestors when they told him there had always been four Clans in the forest. The fifth Clan was StarClan, forever protecting the four below. Had StarClan lied?

Bluestar rested her tail tip on his shoulder and spoke more calmly. “Your warrior ancestors are watching over you now, just as they have always done. Nothing has changed. Yourduty is to your own Clan now.”

“But SkyClan—”

“Has gone. There is no gap where they used to be, no prey or territory waiting for them to return. The forest is perfectly divided between the four Clans who remain.”

“Then it’s the will of StarClan that I just ignore these cats?” Firestar challenged her. “Don’t you care that they are suffering?”

Bluestar blinked. “There are cats who would argue that there should never have been a fifth Clan in the forest at all. Why are there four oaks at Fourtrees, if not to stand for the four Clans?”

Firestar gazed up at the massive oak trees, then back at Bluestar. Fury pure as a lightning flash rushed through his body. “Are you mouse-brained?” he snarled. “Are you telling me SkyClan had to leave because there weren’t enough trees?”

A look of shock and dismay filled Bluestar’s eyes. Not waiting for her reply, Firestar whipped around and raced to the edge of the hollow. Brambles tore at his fur as he plunged through the bushes, but the pain meant nothing. Ever since he came to the forest he had trusted his warrior ancestors. But they had been lying to him all along. He felt as if he had taken a step on ground he thought was solid, only to fall into deep and bitter water.

He fought his way through the last of the bushes, but instead of reaching the rim of the hollow, he found himself blinking awake in the cavern of the Moonstone. His breath was coming in harsh rasps. His fur felt torn and rumpled. His paws stung, and when he licked them he tasted the salty tang of blood, as if he had been running a long way over stony ground.

Far above, through the hole in the roof, clouds covered the moon and stars. The cave was utterly dark. Firestar rose to his paws and limped across the cave floor, close to panic until he stumbled into the entrance to the tunnel. When he emerged onto the side of the hill a stiff breeze was shredding the clouds like wet cobweb. Firestar caught only fitful glimpses of the moon, but stars were shining overhead once more.

He crawled onto the flat rock where he had waited earlier and collapsed there, gazing upward. He could not see the kindly eyes of his warrior ancestors in the starlight any longer. The desperate cries of the lost and tortured SkyClan echoed through his mind. How am I meant to help them?

All those cats must be dead by now. They had fled so long ago that no cat remembered them. But where were their descendants, the living SkyClan?

That will give you a little glimpse at what Cherith and Kate bring to my storyline. They bring the location, the details, the metaphor, and flesh out the bones that I’ve created. I just think those two sections give a very clear demonstration of the way I work, and the way we work together as a team, and what I bring.

I just hope that’s been an interesting glimpse into the writing process. Stay strong, my lovelies. We’re getting through this together. Bye!

#vicky archives #warrior cats #warriors #firestar #bluestar #firestar's quest #not designs

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