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wychive · 4 years

Text

𝙪𝙣𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙨

summary // you found your pile of ‘letters’ to hyunjin that contain thoughts that have never been said and decided to write to him one last time.

pairing(s) // hyunjin x gn!reader, hyunjin x oc, slight minho x reader

genre(s) // angst, letter fic

warning(s) // mentions of food, themes of being forgotten, vulgar wording, humiliation, overthinking

word count // 2.0k

author's note // happy birthday @noya-sannnn !! im sorry this was so late hhh you know how i am irl,, but i hope you enjoy this! i love you so much, jane <3 i apologize for the many grammar mistakes gn. i recommend listening to iu’s ending scene while reading this! btw y/n/n means your nickname.

[10/01/14, 3:55am]

dear jinnie,

hi there! it's y/n <3 i hope you're doing okay - i mean of course you are pfft anyways, just writing this short letter (more like paragraph) sort of as a venting mechanism? for things i cant tell you about lol im not so sure how you would call it, since you're so much better at words than i am. basically were like:

hyunjin: ow a brain freeze!

me: haha brain go brrrr

anyways haha yea <3 it's 4am so like,, ill see you at school!

signed,

your loser,

y/n/n

[15/02/14, 12:34am]

yo heartthrob!

im back with this kinda stuff haha it's been a whole? week? since ive written one of these so like yes..hi! i just wanted to say thanks, for today. you really know how to cheer me up huh? you really outdid yourself by setting up that little picnic for us. congrats on making the strawberry cake so perfectly <3 this day will always stay as a core memory in the back of my brain. you're too caring sometimes,,, istg you'll pay for this [maybe hugs?] >:)

signed,

your partner in crime,

y/n/n

[30/02/15, 01:29am]

jinnie-senpai~~

LMAO you hate me calling you that, doesn't change a thing though. hehe,, nways i hope you enjoyed your birthday present :) i got you that really cool skateboard that you wanted. i worked my ass off for that in my mother's garden so like,, you gotta thank me for that a thousand times :D nah jk, its a sincere gift, from me to you. i rarely do this for ANYONE so consider yourself lucky to have a best friend like me -3- also, seungmin is like….kinda the cutest person ever. introduce me to him pls, thank!

signed,

<your bestest friend3,

y/n

(p.s. you're kinda cute too,,,, ig,,, still stinkee tho)

[13/04/15, 9:04pm]

hey 'baby' (HAHAHA ihy for this)

i hope your day was okay! i didn't see much of you today (which was sort of a bummer but wtv) so like…. uh yea. you told me you were doing okay over text, which kinda surprised me because like?? we always video call lol this is kinda the first time,, but its okay, i trust you! (i really hope youre doing alright tho, i'll beat anyone up if they make you sad >:( ) you also called me 'sweetheart' today which was like…. omg wtf haha????????? that was so weird to me for some reason… a good kind of weird :D we haven't done those kinds of nicknames in a while so…. happy to know that they're back in session <3 i talked to the new girl today, she's really cool! like she knows the bean song on tiktok so like its a total win heh, ill introduce you to her tomorrow! you'll love her a lot

signed,

your 'lover',

y/n/n

[08/06/16, 10:23pm]

hey howl (hehe go back to that movie night we had)

this spring break sucks so much,, esp because youre not here (you still couldve brought me along :'[ ) but wtv i hope youre enjoying yourself. ive been hanging out with yeonnie lately and i found out she likes conan grey too like pls i love her sm. can we adopt her?? please???? she told me you guys have been video calling too and that makes me so happy!! you two are getting along so well aaa my precious babies </3

what if you developed a crush on her? haha…..jk unless?? (no jk dont shes all mine, stay away >:) ) anyways, i hope the three of us hang out soon. maybe go to that ice cream parlour where they serve the best cookies and cream?

signed,

your daisy,

y/n/n

[19/07/15, 01:23am]

peepee poopoo hello

heyheyhey!! (heh, haikyuu thingz) i hope youre doing okay! i mean sure you are, with everything going so well. also i feel like you're not telling me something. maybe it's just me? is it? i hope it is because you tell me everything,, we've been talking less these days but its okay! i know how busy you are, especially with your dad always bugging you,,

also, i think yeonbin likes you :0,, she keeps talking about you whenever we hang out. don't get me wrong, its not bad that she likes you but...something doesn't feel right. i feel like i'm being the third wheeler here and like ugh idk. haha laughs yea i think its just me.. im sorry, i didnt mean to do you like this,, anyways, ill see you soon + her too ofc- yall are inseparable lmao

signed,

your moonlight,

y/n/n

[23/07/15, 01:56am]

greetings, kind sir

lol more like mean sir but like aight KSKSK,, anyways,, how have you been? we haven't really talked in a while,, our convos are always so short with it being one-sided :/ i wish you were online more. yeonnie is ignoring me,, do you know why? i think you do,,, but when i asked you just said you didnt know. did i do something wrong? pls tell me..

she blocked my contact the other day and she won't even smile at me when i pass her in the hallways. its,, sad and stressful especially because she was the only one that would genuinely talk to me. i hate to say this,, but i miss you. us, hanging out like the best trio we are, yknow? but i dont think you miss me the same way. sorry, im getting out of hand. i know im just overreacting. im just gonna sleep ig,, good night! sweet dreams,,

signed,

your pink lemonade,

y/n/n

[25/07/15, 03:25am]

hi there

i heard you and her got together?? congrats, jinnie! im so proud of you,, especially because you never had even considered getting a girlfriend a few months earlier lmaO you really woo the ladies huh? anyways,, i hope you've been well since we last talked,, how many days has it been?? i would say nearly a week or so but honestly it feels like a hundred years,, considering you and i used to talk every day. but you have her now to keep you company.

keep this a secret but can you possibly tell me why it hurts when i see her? or when i mention her or even think of her?? is it because she's connected to you? but.. you're my best friend, so why? is it because i miss you? is it because im alone now? is it because you left me with a simple 'i have to go now,, bye y/n/n.'? im not sure either. im being silly, i apologize. ill figure it out sooner or later. sweet dreams, jinnie

signed,

your asswipe,

y/n

[25/07/15, 04:30am]

jinnie

it's because i love you.

signed,

your butterfly,

y/n

[??/08/??, 05:??am]

you

i miss your lame jokes. i miss your smile. i miss your laughs. i miss your funny faces. i miss the way your eyes twinkle. i miss th way you would make me happy just by doing the bare minimum. i miss the disaster you made when cooking breakfast. i miss the night when you snuck me out just to go to that pretty lantern event. i miss when you would call out my name everytime we met. i miss when we would share earbuds in train rides. dont you get it, hyunjin? i miss you.

[??/??/15, ??:??am]

asshole.

please tell me that isn't true, please. you're too kind to do these kinds of things, right? + i was your best friend,, then, why, why did you hurt me like this. i didnt do anything wrong.. you couldve just told me you didnt like me,,, why did she have to tell me? out of all people.

youre so pathetic for this,, i thought you were brave, bold - but youre just a fucking coward. i loved you, i really did. and i realised too late… im sorry. she,, i shouldn't have talked to her in the first place, right? i bet you knew she humiliated me, in front of everyone. of course you did, you were the only one that knew. you told her. fuck, i hate you so much (yet why do i long for you on a night like this?). you know how much that'll affect me and yet, there you are, laughing about it with her.

signed,

fuck off,

you know who i am.

[31/08/15, 03:41am]

ah, jinnie

please tell me this is just a nightmare. please, please. stop just reading my texts, please answer them. jinnie. i miss you so much. i dont care bout her, please just let me be in your arms. i dont care if you love me back, please just talk to me at least. tell me what i did wrong,, jinnie,, please,,, clear these tear stains on my cheek with kisses.

signed,

your fuck-up,

y/n

[15/09/15, 04:59am]

jinnie

why do i keep crying because of you? its been a few weeks since everything has happened. please, nothing has changed. i still love you the same even with all the hatred i have pent up in this stupid brain of mine. i wish i could just walk back in time, to where it all began.

when i first met you in third grade and you pushed me while playing soccer or maybe when we took those ridiculous prom pictures, remember those? i hope you still have them,, because i do too. i hope the pictures of us on your wall still hang there,, it'll remind you of the happy times. hm,, maybe you don't need them.

you already have millions of pictures with you and her,, i bet you printed some and replaced those with ours right? sly dog.

signed,

friend,

y/n/n

[04/02/16, 12:57am]

hey

i went to the park today and saw both of you being happy. it's nice to see your smile again. im sorry i didnt go up to you,, i just thought it would be awkward. when i heard that adorable laugh of yours, it made me realise that i lost something special. but it's okay isnt it? as your happiness matters more than mine.

signed,

y/n

[06/01/20, 08:00pm]

dear hyunjin,

im doing fine here. how about you? gosh,, how long has it been? years? since we last talked to each other. i havent heard from you since. i would just like to say i still think of you sometimes, when watering the plants or dancing while making pancakes. sometimes i think you're here with me too, just being the pals we were.

sometimes i'd see you out, just reading a book in the park or buying pasta sauce at the grocery store. it's nice to see you having a stable life. im not sure if you're still with her or not, but its good to know that you still have that large friend group. also! you're never gonna guess who im dating--

it's minho! do you remember him? the one that i used to hate,, uh yeah. he asked me out the other day- you may wonder how tf,,, i too do not know how tf but he gives the best hugs ever. he gave me the love i wanted from you. he stitched my heart back together after it broke,, i love him so much, jinnie..

it's snowing,, do you remember when we would skate on the frozen lake in front of your house? are your parents well? i wonder if your mother still has those earrings i bought for her birthday. i never told you this but your laugh and hers sound so similar.

i would just like to say thank you, for everything. you were a big part of my life, up until now. when we see each other after this, we would just be strangers. maybe flash a little smile or give a little wave whenever we greet each other but nothing more. some memories of us would flow in every now and then but it'll just be a short teaser. well, i'll be going now. smile for me, okay?

signed,

the one that loved you the most,

y/n.

taglist // @/noya-sannnn, @crvgio , @neo-shitty

reply to be in my gen taglist!

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sometimes-i-write-4-you · 4 years

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hi! :) could it get a stanley barber x reader with prompt 23 of the romantic prompts?

Hate (how) you (make me feel) - Stanley Barber x reader

a\n - this took so long lol, hope you like it. i feel like there were’nt that many scenes with him but that’s just how the idea rolled so i promise to post a second Stanley fic featuring more of him.

trigge warnings: angst, cursing

word count: 3243

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stanley Barber was my best friend, and I'm saying “was” because he’s been ignoring me for about a week now. I don’t know what happened, but I guess he just got tired of me, which was not very typical for him - he’s the type of guy to stick with you through thick and thin, he’d walk through fire with you even if you started it. However, it was typical for people to get tired of me. It’s not the first time my friends walk away from me, and if I survived losing them, i’ll survive losing Stanley, but this is different. The thing is, he wasn’t just my best friend. I truly liked him. I mean, liked-liked, like, I love him. He doesn't know, obviously, I'd never risk our friendship. The last time we hung out i almost did it, kind of confessed. Maybe this is what scared him off?

I open my computer and search up “how to get over losing a friend?”

1. Don't try to force closure.

A week ago, Stanley and I were still okay. I was planning to ask him to go to homecoming with me. As friends, of course, but i guess that’s out of the question now. My mind travels to the last time we hung out.

“(y\n)!” Stanley smiled at me from the porch. He ran toward me, even though he wasn't wearing shoes. He almost slipped over a random rock in the driveway, but it didn’t stop him from reaching out and pull me into a hug. His hugs were the best hugs ever, and nothing can convince me otherwise. “Hey stan '' I replied into his chest, since I didn't get the chance to stand on my toes and minimize the height difference, which kind of made the hug even better. “Yo, i have to show you what i got! I searched for it for so long, and I finally got it!” he said, grabbing my hand and running into his house. “My dad is, uh, he’s away, which means that, uh, we can watch it right now!” he kept going as he dragged me to his room. His hand still held mine when we arrived, and I hoped he’d blame how red my cheeks got on the running. His other hand grabbed a VHS from his desk, “look!” he smiled, leaving my hand to hold the VHS right in my face. I took it from his hands. “It’s (your favorite 80’s movie)!” I smiled, looking down at the VHS. he took it back and ran upstairs, “come on!”. I followed him upstairs, and arrived just in time to catch him sliding on the floor rock-star style toward the VHS player. “There’s- uh, there’s popcorn bags in the cabinet next to the fridge” he called, and I walked past him toward the kitchen, ruffling his hair on my way to get the popcorn. He claimed to hate it, but it was funny how he’d get mad. “(y\n)! It took forever to- ``''get my hair to look this good, don’t ever touch it again because i know where you live!” I mimicked him. He always said this exact sentence, which followed a “and what would you do?” from me, and to that he had a different answer every time. “I’ll take away your popcorn privileges!” he threatened this time. “Whatever” I laugh.

By the end of the movie we were cuddled up, his hand on my shoulder and my legs over his lap. I leaned on him while trying to dig up some popcorn crumbs from the bag. He took the bag and poured the crumbs in his mouth. “Stan!” i said, punching his chest. He moved the bag and I suddenly noticed how close our faces were. His eyes looked right at me, and I felt my heart skip a beat. He stuck his tongue at me breaking the awkward stare.”i love you” i thought to myself. I didn’t even realise I said that out loud until Stan got up. “What? Wait? Are you serious?” he asked, and i was quick to deny the meaning behind it, thought it was not smooth. “Of course buddy, you’re my best friend, '' I said, getting up to pinch his shoulder. “Oh! oh, right, yeah, love you too, buddy” he smiled at me. “Well, i gotta go to.. Work” i made up, desperate to escape the scene. “Really? I didn’t see your name on the shift list-” Stan said, confused. I forgot we work at the same place. “Uh, yeah, Jason wanted me to replace him, he has a.. Huge test and he didn’t have the time to study” i lied. “O-” stan started, “kay”. I was already on the other side of the door though.

I later on looked at the shift list, it was Jenna and Carla’s, so Stanly probably knows I lied. Maybe that’s that, so no need to talk to him about his sudden distance.

2. Give yourself a lot to look forward to

What can I do to keep myself busy? Maybe I can take up a new hobby - guitar, painting, writing. I can talk to mrs. Miller to get more shifts a week? I’ll talk to her today. Wait, shit, today. I have a shift with Stanley. We rarely get to work together, since Mrs. Miller knows we tend to talk instead of working, it was like that ever since we met at my first shift.

“Stanley, I'd like you to meet (y\n), she’s going to replace me since I'm leaving for college tomorrow. I was supposed to teach her the job, but my mom stalled with choosing a replacement. I think she tried to get me to stay. You think you can show her around?” Frank said. Frank Miller. He’s dating my brother, so he hooked me up with this job since his mom is the owner. “Sure thing, Frankey” the curly-haired boy said, and Frank left us to be. On our way here he promised i would like the company, “you’d get along just fine, (nickname), Stanley, for example, is just as weird as you, if not more. He’s the only person to call me “frankey” other than my mom” were his exact words, and when Stanley noticed your bloodwitch shirt, it turned out that he was right.

“First thing first, you gotta change, unfortunately we can’t wear awesome band shirts to work. I know. It’s stupid” he said, and took a pink polo shirt identical to his from under the table. “And what’s your favorite bloodwitch song?” he asked me, tossing the shirt at me. “Hard question” I replied, putting on the pink shirt and adjusting the tuck. “A gun to your head, what’s your answer?” he says. “Well, a gun to my head… (your fav)``I say, and he smiles. His smile is so pretty, and even though i barely know the guy, i know that i’d love to make him smile again.

I arrive at the bowling alley, step 3 repeating in my head.

3. Meet new people – but don't pressure yourself to find a new BFF ASAP.

“Hey” i smile at Mrs. Miller. Sure, she’s old, but i can befriend her, right? It counts. “Hey” She smiles back. “How’s Frank?” I ask her, and she asks about my brother after saying her son is doing great in college. “Well, he’s just fine” i reply, and with that Mrs. Miller is off to do whatever she needs to do to keep the place running. So maybe making her my friend is not a good idea.

Stanly is already there, since his shift started earlier, and he was shining the shoes behind that same counter where we first met. The hours pass by, but no one my age is arriving, it’s either 12 year olds or 30 years old, and my hope to find a new friend is slowly fading. Maybe i should just work on my existing connections.

A short haired girl I recognised from school rushed in, and walked directly to Stanley, who went back to the shoes. As they talked, he glanced at me. I hurried and moved my eyes toward the couple who was about to ask me to get them fries. I never knew i needed to be a waiter if i work at a bowling alley, they don’t even tip me here. Maybe i should quit and get a different job where there is no Stanley Barber and his beautiful smile and stupid curls and charming personality. Somewhere where someone else is choosing the playlist and I'm forced to listen to Justin Biber. Maybe i’ll even start liking his music. Stanley and the girl leave.

An hour passed, and I understand he may never come back here to close, meaning I had to do it by myself for the first time. A couple walks in, and i recognise them from school, in fact, i even manage to remember their names. “Dina, Bradley, hey” I smile at them. The making-new -friends plan is back on track.

4. Tailor your social media if needed.

I took a picture of the burger I ordered, posting it on my story. I tagged Dinna. My plan succeeded, as you see. Dinna is likeable, however Brad pissed me off. He was being a bit possessive and controlling, but Dinna was blind to it. “Oh, my friend Sydney would be joining us, I hope that’s okay, I just rarely get to hang out with her now that I have a boyfriend. She doesn't really like him, so having the both of ‘em around at the same time is not an option” Dinna says, and the bell rang, meaning someone walked in. The girl that Stanley took off with yesterday sat down across from her. “Sydney! Meet (y\n), i met her at the bowling alley yesterday” Dinna says. “Oh, hi” Sydney smiles, but her voice is a bit disappointed. “Well, i’ll be off soon, i’ll just finish my food” i said. “Oh, okay” Sydney starts, but Dinna’s “oh, no, why?” is clashing. I choose to answer Dinna. “Homework. I had to close the Bowling alley alone since Stan..ley ditched me” i said, deciding to use his name instead of the nickname i got used to. “I wonder why’s that” Dinna said, looking at Sydney. “I- i don’t know if i can share the news with her, no offence, but i don’t know you” Sydney said. “Oh, none taken” I say, But Dinna insists. “Come on, you can’t leave me hanging. You said you hung out with him on the phone, and that you’ll give me the details face to face! Come on, you can trust (y\n), she’s alright” Dinna said, and now I know for sure I don't want to hear Sydney’s news. “Well, we got high,” Sydney gave in. Stanley and I used to get high together. “And then we, uh, slept together,” Sydney says. “You know I'm actually gonna take that to go and leave now, lots of homework” I say, getting up. I paid on my way out, and started to walk home as tears formed in my eyes. I refuse to blink and let the warm, salty liquid run down my cheeks, but when I arrive home, my mascara is all smudged and I'm shaking. I hurry into my room before my mom notices.

5. Have a game plan when dealing with mutual friends.

Step 5 made me laugh when I first saw it, but now that Dinna invited me to come along with her and Sydney to Ricky’s birthday party, I had to figure it out. I haven’t told Dinna the real reason i left, and when she called to ask about my homework progress my voice was still shaky from crying, and i was confused as to what homework is she talking about, cause i always finish these during school breaks, especially now that i don’t spend them with Stanley. We used to finish as much as we could together, but we’d lose focus and I ended up sitting at the park after school to finish what I had left.

I agreed, thinking it will take my mind off of Stanley, but I later found out he’s planning to be there. All I need to do is just.. Avoid him. I bet he’s gonna be late. He was always late to work, and to our hang outs over at my house or anywhere other than his house. He used to be late at school, but then he started picking me up and I told him to be there half an hour before the time I wanted him there, and he arrived right when I needed him. When he found out, he was so offended, so I reminded him of the first time he picked me up at school. The both of us had to write a two page long essay about arriving on time and the importance of being present at school, since we missed the entirety of the first period. Ever since then, he got to my house 15 minutes earlier than he used to, just to be safe.

6. Try to learn something from it (if you can).

My friendship with Stanley was good to the both of us. We matured together, we learned new things together. We made each other better, and encouraged each other to be ourselves. Not that Stanley was shy, but he wasn't as shouty as he is nowdays. He wouldn't ask someone to homecoming, for example, but he did that at Rick’s party. Homecoming is tomorrow, and i’m going alone, which is kind of sad. I put on a nice enough dress (or jumpsuit, or suit, whatever floats your boat. I wore a jumpsuit to prom at my senior year). I did my makeup a bit more dramatic than usual. Dinna and Sydney promised me a dance from each. After hanging out with her a bit, I liked Syd. i couldn’t holf the fact she had sex with the guy i love against her, it’s not like she did it on purpose, she was high and as i learned when she confessed to me she has feelings for Donna, not interasted in ever doing that again. I was surprised she made me her secret buddy, but I guess it made sense - she couldn’t tell Dinna without risking their friendship, and the same goes for Stanley, who partially believed he had a chance with Syd.

“You look gorgeous!” Dinna smiled at me as she made her way toward me, hugging me. “You look.. Like a christmas tree, in the best way possible” i compliment her. She laughs, “thanks”. She offers to go place our votes for prom king and queen, and just when we’re done, Sydis approaches us, dragging Stanley along with her.

“Stan” Dinna smiles at him. He was wearing his sky blue suit. When he got it i said it’s stupid, but now that i see him wearing it, it suited him. His fashion sense was kind of weird, but I liked it, it was very much… him. “Dina! You look like a Christmas tree” Stan said. “Thanks, man” Dinna said, “actually (y\n) said the same thing. You two work together, right?”. “Yeah, but we barely get any shifts together” I said. It wasn’t a lie. “Yeah” Stan agreed, looking anywhere but at me. “I’m gonna go get some punch” I said, and left.

7. Accept that you may never reconnect.

They kept talking for a bit, and I took a seat on the benches with my punch. It wasn’t that good, but i said i’m off to get one so i had to stick to the story. “Hey (y\n)” a familiar voice said as the sky-blue wearing guy sat down next to me. He didn’t sit too close, but I could still feel the warmth his body was radieting and smell all 3 colons he had on. “Hey, Stanley” I replied, keeping my eyes on the dance floor. “So you wanna dance?” he asked. “No, not really” I said. It wasn’t exactly the truth. I wanted too, but i just felt like he’s asking out of pity, or cause Dinna and Syd forced him. You really expect me to believe he wanted anything to do with me after the way he’s been ignoring me for two whole weeks? “Yeah, I guess i get that. Look, I'm really sorry for ignoring you, i just-” Step 1 - don’t look for clouser my mind screamed at me. “You just hate me?” I ask, finally looking at him. “Not you, no, never” he says, turning his eyes to me. They looked just as sad as mine, he was… offended. “I don’t- how can you ever think that?” he said. “Are you really asking that?” I say, a sad laugh accompanies my words. “No, (y\n), i could never hate you, I just hate how you make me feel-” he says, and I look at him confused. “How’s that better?” I say, but he ignores me and continues to talk. “i hate how you make me feel so… not in control. When i’m around you, i get all stuttery, and i have this annoying feeling like- like there are butterflies in my stomach. Have you ever felt that? It’s terrible” he says, and then cuts eye contact. The dance floor seems very interesting to me now, too. “Look, two weeks ago, when you said you love me, I really wanted it to be true. I stayed away because I realized that you don’t feel the same and I have to accept that. But, (y\n), not having you in my life sucked, so I don't care if it’s just as friends, I want you to be a part of my life” he said, fidgeting with his fingers. “Stan..” I started, but I had no clue how to word what I wanted to say. I rested my hand on his shoulder. “Look, it’s cool if you don’t feel the same, but just, be my friend again, please?” he said, and as he finished the sentence he finally looked at me. I took the chance. Now or never. My lips met his. He was surprised for a second, but once he realized what was happening, his hands found my waist and he turned his body to me as we looked for a comfortable enough position. We finally break the kiss to breath, but none of us dares to open our eyes, just in case this is a dream and we’ll wake up if we open our eyes. I can feel his breath on my lips, and I want to pull him into another kiss, but first i have to say something.

“Stan, I won't be your friend,” I say, opening my eyes to look at him. He opened his eyes. “What?”. “However, i will be your girlfriend” the words slip out of my mouth, and the look in his eyes was so worth it. “(y\n), don’t ever scare me like that again” he says, and offers me his hand right as the music gets slower. “Now, may i have this dance, babe?” he asks. “Only if you never call me babe again” I say and take his hand. “That’s fair, yeah, it felt wrong” He Said as he spun me around on our way to the dance floor. Looks like i don’t need to worry about step 7 after all.

#stanley barber #Stanley barber x reader #ianowt #i am not okay with this #ianowt x reader #stanley barber imagine

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shianhygge-imagines · 4 years

Text

Sundown 勿忘草 [Reno/Reader]{Final Fantasy VII} Episode 2

AN: Here’s the next part of Sundown Wasurenagusa! I’m sorry that I’ve been slow on posting any new story material! I had a bit of a writers’ block, and I’m still trying to work through it!

I had intended for this to be much longer, but I felt like this part was a good length to post. The first part of this ‘episode’ is going to be formatted weird because I can’t get Tumblr to format a text conversation in the way that I want.

If you like the content I create, please consider donating to my Ko-fi! Please help me feed my tea addiction!

|Masterlist Link|

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

December 12

Reno {07:10}

[Good morning, sleeping beauty]

Me {08:30}

[Morning]

[Do you not need sleep?]

[You probably went to bed late last night]

[And while it truly does make my day to hear from you]

[Why? It’s so early ;.;]

Reno {08:40}

[Can you blame a guy for being eager to talk to you?]

[Lol, Sorry. I didn’t disturb you, did I?]

Me {08:59}

[>///<]

[No, you’re good. I gotta get up to get ready anyways.]

[Flatterer]

Reno {09:34}

[I mean, can you blame me? ;) ]

[So, I was thinking about taking you on a date outside of Midgar, but I realized that I should probably get your opinion on it first]

Me {10:01}

[I mean, that depends? How early do I have to get up on my day off? And how long will it take to get there?]

Reno {10:05}

[Um… well, it’s getting pretty chilly in Midgar, so I was thinking about taking you to Costa del Sol… beach date :P]

Me {10:30}

[…]

[Costa del Sol is pretty far, Reno…]

Reno {10:31}

[And?]

[I’ve got a way]

[Don’t sweat the details]

Me {10:32}

[You’re taking a company helicopter, aren’t you -.-]

Reno {10:33}

[Ack! You’ve figured out my master plan!]

Me {10:34}

[Are Turks even allowed to take company assets out for joy rides?]

Reno {10:35}

[ TT^TT I told you not to sweat the details!]

Me {10:40}

[I just don’t want you to get into any trouble.]

Reno {10:50}

[Awww, don’t worry about me.]

[You have a party to attend later, so do me a favor and have fun, okay?]

Me {11:03}

[That reminds me…]

Reno {11:05}

[??]

Me {11:11}

[bluedress.jpg sent]

(The image is of you in a sapphire blue dress, the sleeves long and neck high. The dress itself ends just below your knees)

[This dress?]

[reddress.jpg sent]

(The second image is of you in a backless ruby dress that ends just above the knee. There are no sleeves to this dress despite the fact that it has a high neck)

[Or this dress?]

Reno {11:13}

[…]

[Y/N]

Me {11:15}

[Reno]

[???]

Me {12:01}

[If I don’t look good in either of them, just be honest ;.;]

Reno {13:05}

[Gah! Sorry, I got pulled away for something]

[The red one. For sure]

Me {13:06}

[Just because red’s your color… >.>]

[I hope you’re okay, Reno ;.;]

Reno {13:15}

[Hey, first of all, remember what I said about red being your color?]

[I don’t lie, k?]

[But also, yeah. Also because it’s my color, you should wear it ;)]

[Do you have a sixth sense or something?]

[image.jpg]

(Opening up the image file gifts you with a selfie of Reno, looking minorly roughed up and being supported by an infrantryman. He looks like he’s by the old church that Aerith likes to visit. Despite needing to be supported by the infantryman, the red headed Turk’s winking and holding up a peace sign)

[Just a few minor bruises ;P I’ll be fine]

[Unless….]

[You want to kiss me better? ;)]

Me {13:30}

[… Well. I’m sorry for worrying (¬_¬) ]

Reno {13:45}

[Joking, joking! :D]

[All patched up]

Reno {14:07}

[Y/N?]

(´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)

[I’m sorry.]

[Please talk to meeeeeee]

Me {14:00}

[image.jpg]

(It’s a picture of you in the red dress. Your hair is done up with an attractive amount of make up. You’re wearing a sensible set of black flats.)

[The party starts in an hour, so I might be answering my phone too often.]

[And Costa del Sol sounds perfect for tomorrow ;) I’ve got my outfit all picked out]

Reno {14:15}

[Uh, yeah, that’s gonna be your new contact photo]

[I’m picking you up earlier than we agreed so that we can have more time to relax in the sun]

[Duty calls. Have fun tonight, okay?]

Me {14:20}

[And what? My contact photo for you is going to be this?]

[screenshot.jpg]

(It’s a screenshot of your mobile phone screen. There’s an edit with a red arrow pointing directly at the photo icon for Reno’s contact…it’s the photo that he sent earlier except you’ve photoshopped cartoon ‘uwu’ eyes and added pink anime blush to his cheeks)

[And don’t worry, I’ll probably have enough fun for the both of us.]

[We’ll have fun tomorrow, be safe, okay?]

Reno {14:30}

[I’ll try ;) But if not, I��ll have you to take care of me.]

[Also? That picture?]

[P.E.R.F.E.C.T]

Me {18:30}

[Hope you’re safe!]

[Message me after work to let me know you’re okay!]

[image-2.jpg]

(It’s a group photo of you and your friends in silly poses)

Me {19:21}

[image-3.jpg]

(It’s a close up shot of a delicious plate of food)

[I should have brought you with me ;.;]

|You called Reno| 20:58

[Unable to leave voicemail]

December 13 - 08:21

The morning after the confrontation with AVALANCHE at the Sector 7 Pillar, one would expect the medical bay in Shinra HQ to be jam packed full of patients. There should have been a horde of doctors and nurses, running around to treat the injured infantryman and civilian survivors. But there were only two individuals in the med bay, Reno and Rude. When the plate fell, only a handful of infantryman were able to escape the chaos. Many were left behind to fend for themselves.

Despite surviving a helicopter crash and the brawl with Tifa, Barret, and Cloud, Rude only sustained a few bruises and minor bone fractures. He had been assigned bedrest after being treated by the doctors, but the weight of what he and his partner had been tasked to do twelve hours ago felt like an overwhelming burden. Needing something to keep his mind occupied, the taller of the iconic Turk duo simply engrossed himself in a novel that Elena had brought over during her visit.

On the bed beside Rude’s, Reno groaned in pain as he sat up, eyes still not open and alert as he raised a hand to press against his pounding head. “Gah, what the hell.” Reno’s face stung at the cheeks when his face scrunched up at the pain that seemed to come from every part of him. Even the act of sitting up proved too painful due to his newly broken ribs.

Rude watched his partner sink back into the sheets from his own medical bed, sunglasses on as was usual of him. He wondered how long it would take Reno to realize that it had been nearly twelve hours since they had dropped the plate. He also wondered when his sassy partner in crime would realize that he had a date this morning. Of course, Rude didn’t think you’d get angry at Reno for missing a date when he was hospitalized, but the taller of the iconic Turk pair knew that Reno would never forgive himself for skipping out on you.

While Rude watched, Reno allowed his body to collapse back into bed, an exhausted and pained groan escaping his lips as he want, arms flopping onto the bed as he fought to remember what had happened to land him in such a pitiful state.

Oh yeah…Rude and I went to Sector 7’s plate… and we fought blondie’s group of self righteous freedom fighters… and then…I blacked out. Cracking both eyes open, Reno furrowed his brows and turned his head to examine his surroundings. Med bay back at HQ… The red head swiveled in place to stare at Rude, “The mission….” He trailed off with a questioning tone.

His partner merely grunted, “We finished it and escaped.” Lacking in detail, but still straight to the point.

Sighing in relief that his work track record wouldn’t have a stain on it, Reno flopped back down, “Whooo…” The red head cheered sarcastically, pumping a fist without any energy or cheer behind it. Gah, and I promised Y/N that I’d be safe… Reno’s eyes snapped open and he bolted to a seating position with an alarmed cry, “Crap! Y/N! What time is it?” Shit, I gotta message her to let her know that I’m going to be running late! The Turk second in command thought as he pat down his person for his cell phone.

When he couldn’t find it, Reno turned to his partner, who gestured towards the bedside table. “It was damaged during our fight with AVALANCHE, but it should still be working.”

Not paying any attention to the fact that he was now bleeding through the bandages wrapped around his abdomen, Reno grinned, “Whooo boy! Partner, you’re a life saver!”

The sheer amount of relief within Reno voice made Rude stop and stare at his partner. Hmm… maybe Reno’s serious about her after all.

Meanwhile, Reno quickly unlocked his phone screen, ignoring the fact that the glass display seemed shattered beyond repair. When he pulled up the chat room that he shared with Y/N, Reno cursed, “Five missed messages and one missed call.” Quickly reading through the text messages, and smiling at how much fun you were having at the party, Reno tapped out a quick message in reply to you before listening to the voicemail that you had left.

Yesterday

Y/N {19:21}

[image-3.jpg]

(Reno’s mouth watered at the sight of the food in the picture)

[I should have brought you with me ;.;]

|Missed call from Y/N| 20:58

[Click to listen to voicemail]

Today - December 13

Me {08:43}

[Gah, sorry Y/N, I may have bit off more than I could chew yesterday.]

[I just woke up in the med bay at HQ]

[I’m going to be a little late picking you up]

[And I’m a little roughed up]

[But nothing is stopping me from taking you on our date!]

[See you in an hour?]

When Reno lifted his damaged cell phone to listen to the voicemail that you had left him, the only sound that reached his ears was an error notification that the voice recording app had failed. “I’m sorry, but the voicemail recording that you wish to listen to failed to load properly. Please quite all applications before trying again. If the problem still persists, please contact Shinra Mobile’s technical support service to resolve this issue.” The phone recording informed Reno, pleasantly.

Knowing from experience that getting through to technical support at the current hour was next to impossible, Reno merely tapped out another message.

Me {08:47}

[Hey, the voicemail that you sent to me didn’t go through.]

[What was it about?]

Satisfied with the messages that he’d sent out, Reno shifted to get out of bed, an excited grin on his lips. “Welp! Time to get going! Got a wonderful day off with a gorgeous gal!”

Sighing, Rude lowered the novel to look in his partner’s direction. “Your date with Y/N?” When Reno only gave a sassy shrug in reply, Rude shook his head, “Just remember, you’re still injured.”

“Will do, partner!” Reno saluted the older man before dashing out of the med bay, dodging the nurses swiftly as he made his way to the elevators, itching to get back to the Turk dorms to change into something that would help him blend into the slum crowds of Sector 5. On his way to his room, the red headed Turk would raise his phone to check for any new messages, lowering it in disappointment every time there was no response.

“That’s weird, normally she responds by now.” Reno mused, sending out another quick text once he’d changed into dark jeans, a red hoodie, and a dark beige trucker jacket.

Me {09:12}

[I’m on my way to your place now.]

[Are you awake?]

Around twenty minutes later, on the helicopter ride down to the Sector 5 slums, Reno furrowed his brows and bit the inside of his lip when you didn’t respond again.

Me {09:32}

[Y/N?]

[Please answer.]

[I’m on a helicopter down now]

[Message back. I’m getting worried.]

When there is still no response, Reno taps on your contact and brings the phone up to his ear, trying to call you.

“Hey, this is Y/N. I’m probably away from the phone right now, so leave a message, and I’ll call you back as soon as possible.”

Straight to voicemail.

Something wasn’t right, and Reno could feel it in his bones.

When the helicopter started to land in the Shinra barracks, Reno didn’t even wait for the helicopter to fully land before jumping out of the aerial vehicle, landing solidly before taking off in a sprint towards your apartment.

She’s not answer any of the text messages… Did she lose her phone last night? Did she accidentally break it?… Did she find out what I did yesterday? Is she ignoring me?

The worries and thoughts that raced through Reno’s mind became more and more self-depricating as he neared entered the main town area and brushed past the crowds of people gathered in the streets. I know I said it was too late to grow a conscious, but damn it, please don’t let this be the reason she decides that she doesn’t want me around.

All but flying up the metal steps to your apartment, Reno starts to bang on your front door, calling your name in the meanwhile. “Y/N!” Bang bang bang “It’s Reno!” Bang bang bang “You weren’t answering your phone. Are you ready to go?” It took another few minutes of knocking before Reno head a door open below and slow footsteps ascend the metal stairwell.

Turning and expecting to see you standing there, Reno’s shoulders visibly slumped when he came face to face with a tiny old lady. “Oh, uh. Sorry for causing a disturbance.”

“Are you looking for Y/N, young man?” The old woman inquired, tilting her head to look up at Reno through friendly old eyes.

Feeling as if he was being judged by the elderly woman, Reno stood ramrod straight and nodded, clearing his throat, “Uh, yeah. We had plans for today.”

The old woman nodded sagely, “I see, I see. Ah, to be young again. I’m sorry to disappoint you, young man, but Y/N hasn’t been home since yesterday afternoon. I think she’s still at her friend’s home.”

The first traces of alarm flashed through Reno’s head, and suddenly his Turk persona was back, “Do you happen to know where her friend lives, ma’am?”

The old woman shook her head, “I only know that dear Selene doesn’t live in Sector 5. I’m sorry, young man.”

Suddenly jittery, Reno only nods and descends the metal staircase again, “Thanks for the help. I should get going.”

Reno doesn’t hear the old woman’s reply because he’s sprinting back towards the Shinra barracks, ears ringing and vision narrowed as he contacts a friend in Shinra’s tech department for help tracking down your cell phone’s location and retrieving the voicemail you’d left him. And while his friend works on it, Reno decided to change into a clean set of his uniform, mind suddenly kicked into overdrive as he tries to recall where you said your friend’s party was.

Gah, Reno… you pay attention to everything else she says, but you can’t figure out where her friend Selene lives? Some Turk you are! Reno scolds himself as he paces back and forth in Y/N’s office, somehow trying to find comfort in familiar surroundings. Damnit, think! What has she mentioned in the past about her friends. I only remember her talking about living in Sector 7 for a whi- Reno pauses in his steps as dread begins to pool in his stomach. “No.” He doesn’t want to entertain the possibility that you had gone to a party at your childhood sector the same night that he was tasked with dropping the plate on top of hundreds. But the more that Reno thinks about it, the more likely the possibility is, and he sinks to his knees in the middle of your office, eyes wide with horror and denial. “No… I refuse to believe it. Gotta wait for-”

His phone chimes with a notification.

Pulling out his phone as fast as possible without fumbling the already hazardously damaged device, Reno unlocks the screen, only to see that a voice file had been sent to him along with tracking coordinates.

Clicking on the voicemail and tracker, Reno’s frown deepens and his face pales as he stares at the map of Sector 7 Slums with a red dot in the center of it, the sounds of your final message to him playing in the background.

No.

The voice recording loops until Reno regains his bearings, body shaking and eyes burning as his ears pick up the sounds of explosions in the background, of your sobs as you fought to leave a last message for the man who had thoughtlessly killed you, and of your fear and acceptance that you wouldn’t live past that moment. The phone slips from his hands and clatters to the floor as Reno’s fingers go slack. “No… I didn’t… Y/N…” A strangled sob escapes Reno’s lips as he raises a hand to grip onto his hair, trying to maintain his composure, “I didn’t mean to… If I’d known, I would have…” The Turk second in command paused and hunched in on himself, not caring if anyone could see him through the glass walls of your office.

M-maybe she left her phone behind when she ran? But… if she’s not there, then where would she have gone if not home?

There weren’t any excuses or any other reason he could come up with. Reno knew that. If he had known beforehand that you would be in Sector 7 Slums, he would have warned you, but you would have tried to evacuate as many people as possible from that sector, and AVALANCHE might have managed to leave, therefore ending in a failed mission. He would have done everything he could to make sure you stayed away from Sector 7, but in the end, he’d still go through with the mission.

“I killed her.” Reno sobbed in realization, biting his bottom lip so hard that he tasted copper, “Just like I killed all those people.” Shaking his head, inconsolable, Reno could only mourn quietly. “I’m just the worst. This is karma for all the shit things I did in life, isn’t it?”

Eyes dulled and slightly puffy, Reno hastily wiped at his face and sat down with his back against your desk, his phone ringing with notifications as Tseng and Rude sent him requests for ‘status’ updates. And the Turk second in command ignored his colleagues, eyes staring into nothingness as he wreaked his brain for what to do next.

I really was looking forward to the date. Reno’s thoughts trailed off, It’s sappy as hell, but I wanted to ask her to be my girlfriend. Tseng said that relationships for Turks never ended well, citing Veld as an example, but… gah! This is the worst situation for Tseng to be right!

It was only the early afternoon… maybe he could start a search party for survivors… it was probably too late, but Reno knew that he had to do something to look for you. With renewed purpose, Reno got to his feet and marched out of your office, blue eyes burning with fiery determination as he hung onto the faint hope that you might have survived.

December 13 - 12:13

You groaned in pain and shifted your body, eyes cracking open to be met with blinding industrial lights. The pain from the glaring lights startled you into closing your eyes again, turning until your body was facing away from them. For a moment, you wondered why you were laying on some sort of weird metallic floor instead of your soft bed, and then the memories of a falling sky sent your eyes flying back open as you took in your surroundings.

The floor was indeed cold and metallic because it looked as if you’d woken up in a maintenance passage. Despite most maintenance passages usually being dimly lit, the one you found yourself lying in was lit from both of the walls. The ceiling above your face had a hole in it, though it was covered with metal and concrete chunks. You assumed, as you clambered to your feet, that you’d fallen through that hole and rolled a few feet away due to the pile of rubble directly beneath the hole. Wincing slightly, you poked and prodded your person for bruises, broken bones, or fractures. Slightly satisfied with just a few small skin lesions, bruises, and maybe a fractured rib, you patted yourself down for your mobile phone, hoping to call for help. Frowning, you found that you did not have your cell phone on you, nor was it anywhere on the floor near you.

Since you hadn’t expected to live through a plate falling on top of you, you could only look on the bright side of things, turning to walk down the metal tunnel with determination set on your face. I didn’t almost die from a plate falling just to give up in an empty tunnel. Plus, a fond smile appeared on your face, I have a date waiting for me when I get back topside.

It seemed pretty simple to you. You’d falling who knows how far down, but you knew for sure that the way out was up. So the only thing to do was to keep walking until you found a passage up. Easy peasy.

December 13 - 15:35

There’s a fierce snarl on Reno’s face as he stands by several parked helicopters. All around him, emergency responders and Shinra infantrymen scrambled to load up supplies and equipment. The dark look on the normally sassy, easy-going Turk’s face seemed like a literal beacon for anyone not bearing good news to stay the away. Though, if some of the troops were to be honest, Reno had very good reason to be irate. The Turk second in command had called in an emergency rescue operation for survivors trapped among the plate wreckage nearly three and a half hours ago, and they were only just beginning to start the rescue operation.

After Tseng, the Turk commander, had authorized the mission to rescue anyone buried under the rubble, the mission had quickly been side-tracked by Shinra executives Scarlet and Heideggar. Scarlet had protested against the operation simply because of the notion that dogs living in the slums were of no use to Shinra, and therefore, the mission was a waste of resources. Heideggar, meanwhile, had agreed that while in times of disaster, Shinra’s army bore the responsibility of launching operations to rescue civilians affected, the members of AVALANCHE were widely unknown and could easily disguise themselves as regular civilians.

It took nearly two hours of careful negotiations and subtle ego inflating by Tseng and Reeve, before both executives agreed to support the relief effort. Viewing it as a strategic move to improve public opinion of the Shinra Company, President Shinra gave little to no resistance when Tseng forwarded the mission brief to be sanctioned.

Now, an hour after the mission was sanctioned, Reno felt the beginnings of a headache forming as he directed the flow of supplies to each helicopter before making sure that there were rotations of supplies and emergency responders that would journey to and from the wreckage of Sector 7 once he landed with the first round of helicopters.

When he had deemed all in good order to head out, Reno sighed and hopped into the helicopter cockpit, buckling himself in to the pilot’s seat. Plopping the headset on while he waited for the rest of the crew to load up into the helicopter, Reno busied himself with flipping switches to make sure that pre-flight and the ride down to Sector 7 would be as smooth as possible. When his co-pilot buckled himself in and gave Reno the thumbs up, the red headed Turk spoke as clearly and seriously as he could into the mic. “Alright guys and gals in all active units, hope you’re all buckled up with headsets on because I sure as hell will not be repeating this briefing.” After a brief pause, Reno continued to speak while directing the helicopter off the platform. “You all probably heard about what happened yesterday. The official reports from HQ state that AVALANCHE launched an attack to compromise Sector 7’s plate pillar. Despite all efforts directed to stop the terrorist attack, the plate still fell. Our job is to go down to the disaster zone to provide relief to all affected civilians. We will also be launching search and rescue operations for survivors.” Reno paused once more as helicopter gained enough air to safely fly out of the landing zone. “I’m gonna be real with you all. Someone important to me was in Sector 7’s Slums when the plate fell and I’m going to try my damnest to look for her. So if any of you fuck this up… not gonna lie, I’m gonna be pissed.” Nobody replied to Reno’s admittance… not that he really expected much of a reply after he dropped that bomb on them. Having enough of the silence, Reno exhaled, “Alright… good talk.”

December 13 - 16:03

It wasn’t easy peasy. Definitely fucking not.

The chrome walkways and exposed piping-lined maintenance passage that you had fallen into hadn’t been a simple few meters under the surface as you thought. No. It’s was more like several meters down with a layer of minor blocked off passageways right above. And, as if that weren’t terrible already? The maze of pathways that made up the layer above seemed to take joy in bringing you up a level, just to drop you back down a level because some asshole decided to seal off the passages at various points.

Your eye twitched in annoyance when you walked down a metal walkway only to be face to face with another fenced off passage lined with reinforced plating. To your surprise, you could see a man stumble around the corner of the opposite side. When you saw one another, your eyes widened. “Holy shit!” The man gasped, stumbling forward with a noticeable limp and sliced up arm. “I didn’t think there’d be another person down here!”

“This place is like a maze, so I’m not surprised that any survivors had yet to meet up. A-are… are you okay?” The blood leaking from the deep scratches in his left arm seemed to ooze a poisonous purple color.

The stranger bit his bottom lip as he hastily hid his injury, “Yeah… I’ll be fine. Listen, girl, you should watch out while down here. I think the rumors about the underground lab were true after all. There are monsters running around everywhere.” Your expression must have been one of utter dismay and despair because the man coughed and reached into his pocket to roll two materia under the fence. “Uh. Shit. Well, it looks like you could use these then. It’s a Cura and a Fira. Hopefully you won’t need it, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. Anyways, I hope you make it out of here, girl. I gotta keep looking for other AVALANCHE survivors.”

When the man made to jog away, you called out to him, “Wait! You said that you’re looking for AVALANCHE members? Are you one of them? Do you know what happened?” You pressed yourself against the fence in order to see the stranger from around the corner.

The stranger turned around to stare at you with a grim expression. “Whatever you’re thinking, AVALANCHE didn’t cause this, okay? We were framed by Shinra.” At your confused expression, the man scoffed, “C’mon, you really think that Shinra was going to let civilians protest and riot against them? They couldn’t figure out who was a member and who wasn’t, so they figured they’d drop the entire plate on top of us to get rid of us all.”

“But that’s such a drastic move!” You protested, wanting to believe that your employers wouldn’t have such blatant disregard for human life. “They wouldn’t just sacrifice thousands to eliminate AVALANCHE!”

“Believe what you want, girl. But the reality is that my friends and I all went to the pillar to stop Shinra from dropping the plate, and it dropped anyways because two Turks were sent to finish the job.” The stranger didn’t allow you to retort as he limped away. Not that you would have responded anyways with how the stranger had said that two Turks had arrived to help ensure that the Sector 7 plate dropped.

Pulling away from the fence, you knelt down to pick up the two orbs of materia, the color of your skin taking on a sickly pale pallor. Two Turks were sent to the pillar to drop the plate on top of all of us. Your mind instantly supplied the first Turk pair that you could think of and you felt like you were going to dry heave. I don’t know Rude too well, but from what I know, he and Reno wouldn’t do something so horrendous. Surely, there must have been another pair of Turks who were sent to do it. But you did work in a different department as them, how did you know that there were more members of the Turks? And with Reno’s position within the group… He could have known what was happening…

You told Reno that you would be hanging out with your best friend… that you guys were having a party. He’s smart enough to deduce that your friends still lived in Sector 7… Did he forget? Or… Your stomach churned violently as you sank to your knees on the cold metal walkway. Did Reno just decide he didn’t care if I survived or not?

The edge of your vision burned with tears threatening to spill down your cheeks. A simple blink sent them trailing down your cheeks as you stood upon shaky legs. “Can’t worry about that now.” You muttered, eyes filled with determination as you gathered the excess fabric of your dress to gird up your loins. “I need to find a way out of here. The tunnels might not be able to hold for long.”

Lifting your arm, you pressed one of the materia into your forearm, like you’d seen a few SOLDIERs do before, marveling at how the orb of power sank into the flesh of your arm. Smiling at how seamless it was to merge flesh with Materia, you pressed the other faintly glowing orb into your other forearm, concentrating for a bit before casting Cura upon yourself.

Newly rejuvenated, you back tracked through the metal corridor to find the ladder leading down. “Welp, there’s no time like the present,” you mumbled to yourself as you descended further into the tunnels below.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#shian imagines #final fantasy vii #Final Fantasy 7 #ffvii #ffviir #final fantasy vii remake #ffvii:remake #reno #reno x reader #final fantasy vii reno

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salted-cushions · 4 years

Text

All the reasons I gave you, the things I wanted and didn’t want - they were real, but they paled next to you. Like candles lit under the midday sun. And I, weak and stupid, watched the sun set on my life for the last time instead of snuffing even one of my candles out. Now they’ve all burned out, and so I’m sitting in the dark with nothing but my regrets to keep me company.

Long-ass emo post that takes a long time to get the the point, be warned.

I have taken up running in the past few weeks. I am not a strong runner, but my aerobic capacity is slowly improving and I’m starting to enjoy it... slightly.

I ran a community 5K this morning, and the emailed me my results about an hour later. I ran it in 33:15, which was much better than last time but still slow as fuck in the grand scheme of things - the fastest guy there posted a time of 17:30ish, which I know because he lapped me about 10 meters before the finish line.

So I was pretty confused when they told me I ran the fastest time in my age category. Like wtf? So I opened the results page and sorted it by age category - and it turns out that out of 182 runners, eight of them were between the ages of 20 and 29.

Where the fuck do I find people my age to make friends with? Most of the people in my course don’t speak english well enough to really get to know them, and besides they tend to form their own little cliques based on nationality - the chinese students have their own little groups, as do the indians and sri lankans. The singaporean and hong kong group is a bit more welcoming (and they tend to speak better english too), but like... I can get along with them well enough, but not well enough to be part of the in crowd, y’know? And it feels kinda weird to be the only white guy hanging out with an entirely asian crew. Plus their main social activities seem to be hot pot and boba tea, neither of which I’m that in to.

I’d really hoped that I’d be able to make some friends doing this running group thing, but I guess only the young and old do it. Ever since I’ve moved back to the suburbs I just never see anyone between highschool age and middle age. And the people who are kinda around my age are like... young families who’re starting out with homeownership and having kids, just at a different stage of life than I am. I guess all the young people are living near unis or towards the city.

A few years ago, I wanted friends who went out and got drunk, had house parties, did drugs and had lots of casual sex. And I had that, for a little while, working at a bar near the city - we’d pull 12 hour shifts, sit in the bar after close and drink our paychecks, hit the clubs and dance for hours, hook up with strangers, crash somewhere for a couple hours sleep and do it all again tomorrow. But it’s not as fulfilling as I thought it would be, I think I only wanted it because I thought I missed out in my teens and early 20s. (Hospitality bosses want their employees to do this, by the way - they’ve created this culture where you basically get abused by them and the customers all day, then spend all your money drinking at your workplace to get the bad feelings out, and then by the time the next shift rolls around you’re so tired and hungover all you want is to get through your shift and get drunk again. It’s disgusting, and I hope I never work at a bar again).

So what sort of friends do I want now? I don’t really know. I want to be able to talk about things that are on my mind, share my accomplishments and have them celebrated, get support when I need it and give it when they do. I want to host dinner parties and cocktail nights, and go to my friends’ dinner parties and cocktail nights. I want to go to nice restaurants and classy bars for celebrations, and maybe hit a club and dance until I can’t stand once or twice a year - but not on a school night, that’s not very smart.

I guess part of my problem is I want to do everything and be accepted everywhere (thanks, ADHD). Not that many people want to go and see the ballet or a musical, and also get high and talk about life, and also exercise every day and be fit and healthy, and also get shitfaced and dance until the sun comes up. People I meet seem to have space in their lives for work or school, family, a couple good friends, and exactly one ‘other’. My ‘other’ is a list a mile long, and everything has to be done at 110% otherwise I’m not interested in the slightest. I miss dancing - but there’s no point taking it up again until I can commit $5k/year and 15+ hours/week to competition training, plus probably another $5k/year on costuming, shoes and travel. I miss world of warcraft - but there’s no point playing unless I’m gonna do 10-15 hours of keystones on top of raiding three nights every week. I miss league of legends - but there’s no point playing unless I’m gonna play four hours a night to keep my skills sharp, oh and also that game makes me so fucking angry that I’ve broken more than one keyboard playing it. I miss martial arts - I kinda wanna do jujitsu, but it’s so expensive and you gotta buy all the gear straight away, and I know that if I get into it I’ll start wanting to train every day and spend all my time and money on it. Plus I don’t always get along with the kind of people who do it - the typical BJJ guy is either an older dude who realised he was getting fat and had a midlife crises, or a younger guy with a shaved head and intense eyes with dark circles whose bought into the culture with a cult-like intensity and has the vibe of being on the precipice of getting an SS tattoo. I miss magic the gathering, but collecting cards for a competitive decks is an incredibly expensive and time-consuming process with significant setbacks every couple months when a new set comes out, plus MTG people tend to be have this unique combination of zero social skills, zero personal hygiene, and intense arrogance that makes them eminently unlikeable.

I like lifting, but I don’t really like gym culture - if it’s powerlifting, it’s all bearded bikie sorta guys listening to heavy metal. If it’s weightlifting, it’s very insular and cliquey (although the scene in my city is very small, so that might be a poor judgement). If it’s ‘bodybuilding’ - not people who compete, but guys who want big pecs and arms, and girls who want a skinny waist and a fat ass - it’s all ‘yeah brah’ meathead vibes and shallow instagramming. Besides, I spent all this money on my home gym stuff, so I can’t really justify paying for a gym membership just for socialising.

I like running, or I’m liking it so far. I don’t know about the people, they seem a bit too... normal for me. Everyone’s chatting about their spouses and kids and dogs, except the little group of competitive runners who seem to be more interested in training than chatting (funny that). Maybe that’s how I find myself and make some friends - keep moving towards having a house and a spouse and kids and a dog. That’s scary though. Is that what I want?

This has been on my mind a lot recently, to be honest. In a year I’ll be finished with my degree (theoretically) and hopefully find a professional, salaried job. What then? Except for the year I decided I would drop out of school and have a career in hospitality (bad idea), that’s been the point where my idea of the future stops for quite a while now. I know I want to buy a house or an apartment at some point, and since I found out that my sister and I are inheriting an interstate property homeownership is actually starting to sound realistic. I know, in broad strokes, the field I want to work in. But... do I want to live in the city and live the urbanite single life? Do I want to have a family and live further out where there’s space and more greenery? If my research project goes well, maybe I could try and get hired on as a research assistant, or if I find something worthwhile I could put together a PhD proposal (lol good luck with my amazing 1.1 GPA). I could work for the local government, or the state government, or the federal government, or a design firm, or a construction firm, or a consulting firm... the options are so many and I don’t even know how to begin evaluating them.

Of course it’s all a bit of a pointless exercise right now, because I’ll honestly take whatever job I can get when I graduate. There’s a lot of jobs for civil grads, but with my awful grades, dodgy resume and just being older than the rest of my cohort, I won’t have the luxury of being choosy. Public, private, non-profit, research, city-based, rural or even interstate - I’ll be submitting as many applications as I can and taking whatever I can get. And that will cut down my options for stuff like where I like and what kind of lifestyle I want to lead, like I can’t be seeing musicals every weekend and frequenting trendy cocktail lounges if I’m living and working off in Traralgon or whatever, and I can’t be living on a ten-acre rural plot with some sheep and a couple of border collies if I need to drive into the city for work every day.

I’m not ready to turn 30. I’m getting my shit together, but it’s so fucking slow and frustrating. At the start of the year I tore up my life and started from scratch - like I have every few years since I turned 16 - but I think and hope that this will be the last time, now that I’m aware of my patterns, medicated, and trying to plan for my future. But making those plans means... I need to figure out who I am and who I want to be. I need to separate what’s a part of me from what’s manifestations of ADHD. I need to figure out what I genuinely like, and what I think I like because it’s novel, or stimulating, or because I saw people doing it and instinctively wanted to mirror them. I need to dig through the ideal version of myself, the person that I want to be, and figure out what pieces are good and what aren’t. A couple years ago, I had this idea that the ideal me would say ‘I’m gonna do what I want, and the people who don’t like that can piss off.’ Well, I woke up one day recently and realised that I had no friends because that attitude had systematically pushed everybody that I cared for out of my life, so that’s one idea that I’m working on getting rid of.

There is one part of that which is very difficult for me to approach, though... and that’s my ex. She told me that she thought I looked hot with a beard, and so that became part of my ideal version of myself. I normally wear stubble these days - but with the nice clean line shaved into my cheek, just like she liked. I tell myself this is the way I think it looks best. But maybe I only do it because my ideal me is built for her. Before I met her, I already wanted to be fit, healthy and strong - dance training, lifting, sometimes running (but never sticking to it). But fitness was a big part of her life, and while we were together I absorbed some of that from her. It would be stupid to drop it from my life altogether, but I can’t help but wonder how much of why and how I do these things is constructed around her.

I never met anyone who understood me like she did. I’ve never liked sharing hobbies with girlfriends - inevitably they don’t quite get it, just as I don’t quite get theirs. Like, girls who wanted to play video games with me didn’t understand my drive to improve and be competitive - how when I play a game I’m constantly striving, in every moment, to be that little bit quicker, more accurate, more efficient, to make the right calls, to pick the right strategies. To them, a game is just a game to play for fun - and there’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s not how I enjoy video games and I’m going to be intensely frustrated for every single second of you clumsily trying to participate in something I’ve spent thousands of hours getting better at. I can’t even play Mario Party without becoming a ruthless monster, please let’s put on a movie or something before my head implodes.

She got it, though. Not with video games - she didn’t give two shits about them - but about fitness. She wasn’t like those people who come to the gym to half-heartedly do a set on every machine and then go home to eat ice cream, or the people who just do an hour of incline walking while watching tv and playing on their phones. She did research, and made intelligent plans, and took it seriously. She’d grit her teeth and push through the shittiest days, where lesser women (and men) would have cut their workout short and gone home. She badly needed to succeed, so badly that every little failure cut her to the quick. Healthy? Fuck no. But just like me. More than me, better than me. We understood each other. And let me tell you, you’ve never known love until you’ve watched your girlfriend grind her way out of a PR squat that by all rights she should have failed - and then seen the elation on her face once she’s racked the bar and realised what she just achieved.

Jesus, I’m close to tears now. I just wanted to bitch about not having any friends and I’ve once again segued into pining over her. God I’m so lonely. Why am I like this?

Reading over that last paragraph... it does sound like I have genuine feelings for her, and not just an obsessive need to recapture the one that got away. So that’s... good, I think. It doesn’t change anything really... it doesn’t uncover a new course of action to take, or instruct on how to manage my feelings better. But I don’t want to be that creepy, obsessive ex. I’ve felt like that a lot over the past couple years, but only internally... I’ve tried to leave her alone and done pretty well, I think. Like yeah, I think about her way too much and stalk her socials pretty regularly, but if she doesn’t see any of that then... it won’t make her uncomfortable. That’s the theory. And I’m getting better with the stalking... I just open her instagram and say to myself ‘see? still blocked and set to private. you didn’t miss anything.’ and then I can close it and go about my day. Not great, but... better than the alternatives for now.

This is where it all comes together. I want to text her, have another shot, lay everything out and say ‘I want now what you wanted from me two years ago.’ And I think that’s an actual desire, even a plan, not just me desperately trying to grab on to the last few shreds of dopamine I could get from her. But... I’m not ready, and it’s not the right time. I need to keep getting my shit together, so I can face her and be proud of myself. I don’t want to be embarrassed by living in an ancient, dirty and broken-down house - but I’m working on that. I don’t want to be embarrassed by my inability to stick to an exercise routine for more than a few months - but I’m working on that. I want be confident when I say I’ll finish my degree this year. I want to be confident when I say that next year I’ll have a job and be looking at buying a house. I want to be confident when I say that I’m quitting smoking - or, better yet, proudly say that it’s been so many weeks since my last cigarette.

I hurt her, in the past. And I regret it, and I’m ashamed - because as I’ve learned more about myself, the reasons are becoming clear. She wasn’t happy, and she would break up with me. I would say, ‘well of course I don’t want that, but you need to do what’s right for you.’ And then I would go cold for a couple of days until she inevitably came crawling back - until the last time, when she didn’t. I shouldn’t have let it go on. And why did I let it? Because I’m weak and selfish. Because I ignore issues that I don’t want to deal with, and happily go on with my life as if they don’t exist. Because I’m desperate for approval and validation, and couldn’t do the right thing by her because it would have meant losing a huge source of that. Because I think I can get away with anything, and I care more about whether there will be immediate consequences for me, rather than if something is right or wrong or affects someone else.

I took so much from her. Her friendship with our other roommate - destroyed, and at the time I said ‘that’s between the two of them,’ but I was the one who came into their lives like a hurricane. Her house - she was the one who had to move, even though she’d lived their long before me - I was the one who should have moved out, but I said to myself ‘she’s the one who’s leaving, that’s her prerogative.’ Her gym - I should have stopped going there when things were moving towards the end, but I didn’t. Then I told myself that we went at different times now and wouldn’t see each other, so it was fine - until one day when she came in, saw me, went to the bathroom and hid for at least an hour until I’d left. It shouldn’t have taken that much to make me change gyms - and for what! That gym was her community, for me it was just the most convenient place that usually had a free squat rack. And I took it from her. All of these things were so easy to justify - ‘I’m gonna do my thing and if anybody doesn’t like it - they don’t have to stay in my life.’ I was so fucking selfish, and I have so much regret. The only thing I could possibly do is apologise. And I hate apologies - words mean nothing without actions backing them up. There’s no action that I could possibly take that could give these things back to her, so all I could do is grovel at her feet and tell her that I’m sorry and that I’m trying to be a better person.

I’m scared. Even if I do get my shit together and sack up enough to text her, and even if she actually replies, and even if by some miracle she wants to try again - I’m scared that I’ll hurt her again. That I won’t have grown out of my selfish, irresponsible ways. I can SEE the patterns, but can I change them? I think so... but it’s not an overnight thing, and it’s not a neat and direct path from A to B. It’s a messy, unclear, painful and difficult thing that I have to do if I want to be a better person, if I want be capable of having a stable and loving relationship in the future. I can easily see a future where, if all the pieces fall into place and we start dating again, I just use her up and toss her away again - just like every woman I’ve ever dated. Then I’m back exactly where I am today - lying in bed emptying my feelings into the internet - and she’s twice scarred from having me in her life. And then I hurt the next woman, and the next, until I eventually die bitter and lonely, looking back on the trail of pain and heartbreak I’ve left in my wake.

I’m scared of the other options, too. I’m scared that she rejects me and it doesn’t help me get over her. What do I do then? This would be a real hail mary, there’s no third chance - hell, the second is already a stretch. I just cannot go on for the rest of my life feeling like this - it’s been two years! The first three months or so were by far the worst, but after that it’s like... this became my new baseline. A bit of ebb and flow, but never gone. Maybe it’s worse than usual right now because I walked past her last week... and maybe it’s worse than usual because I’m trying to dig these things out from the depths of my brain in the hopes that the light and air will cleanse them. Maybe by going through this phase of rawness and regret, I’ll be better equipped to move on and this will all die down. Although I’m pretty sure I would have to genuinely accept that I can’t have her, and... I don’t know how. Maybe an emphatic and absolute rejection would do that for me. I’d probably have to throw away some of the stuff she gave me. I don’t know. I’m not equipped to approach that idea right now.

And then... what if she says we can try being friends? How do I navigate that? I’m not capable of doing something halfway, I’d spend every waking minute looking for an angle. It’d be an opportunity, not a friendship. That’s... manipulative. I don’t want to do that. And I don’t want to lie to myself and pretend I could do that. I don’t think it would happen, anyway - I don’t see that coming from her. Although I have seen her being friendly with an ex of hers, so... maybe I’m wrong.

And what if she says yes... but then I find out that I was in love with the idea of her that I’ve constructed over the past two years, and the person she is now doesn’t resemble that at all? What if I was just caught up with new relationship energy and a novel person, and really the connection and rapport wasn’t as deep as I remember it being? What if I do everything right this time, and still end up unhappy? I know that dating is always a risk, but... I don’t want to be dumping her six months down the track because she didn’t live up to this ridiculous, unrealistic fantasy version of her. And I don’t want to end up a bitter old man in a loveless marriage, any more than I want to end up a bitter old bachelor with a collection of broken hearts. I think about it and I’m pretty sure that the connection we had was real, and the reasons I want her are real and accurate - but ever since I started wrapping my head around this ADHD thing, I’ve stopped trusting my perceptions of things so much. If I want something, my brain will tell me pretty much whatever I need to hear so that I can rationalise my doubts away.

And that’s part of this whole thing - all this work that I’m trying to do on myself, how much of it is for her? I say it’s for myself, but I wouldn’t put it past me to be rationalising it that way, when it’s really all part of a larger scheme to win her back. Like, I clean my kitchen benches with spray and a cloth every single day now, sometimes two or three times if I’m cooking a lot. I think that’s because I want my house to be cleaned to that standard - but she had extremely high standards of cleanliness, so maybe I’m just trying to make myself the person who can tick that box for her. And I can say, well, if that’s the case that’s ok - the motivations don’t matter as long as you’re improving yourself. But if that’s the case... what happens after I text her? If we get back together, and my brain goes ‘cool goal achieved, we can shut this all down now’ and all the good traits I’ve painstakingly developed collapse back into nothingness. Or if she says no and I actually accept that, then my brain might go ‘ok this is pointless now, let’s get rid of it’ and the exact same thing happens? I want to be a whole, complete person on my own - and a good, responsible, reliable person who does stuff like keep a beautifully clean house - and so the idea that all of that might be built around this hope of having her back in my life is... uncomfortable, at least. As is the idea that I’m constructing a persona who’s only purpose is to win back an ex-girlfriend, as if life is some stupid romcom.

This has gone way off track, so... I’ll leave it there. R, if you’re reading this... I’m so, so very sorry about so many things. I hope you’re not reading it, because I’m not ready - for the apology itself, or the conversation that might follow. But I also hope you are reading it, because that would put the ball in your court and absolve me from the need for action - and I’m still too weak to do the difficult things in life.

When I told you I would come with you, I should have followed through. And I had reasons for not doing that - like I told you in my letter - but looking back I don’t think I was being honest with myself or with you. I was just too weak to do the difficult thing, and so I told myself half-truths until they sounded true enough to tell to you. All the reasons I gave you, the things I wanted and didn’t want - they were real, but they paled next to you. Like candles lit under the midday sun. And I, weak and stupid, watched the sun set on my life for the last time instead of snuffing even one of my candles out. Now they’ve all burned out, and so I’m sitting in the dark with nothing but my regrets to keep me company.

That’s it from me, everybody. Thanks for reading my blog.

#adhd #long #long post #poetry #...sorta #relationships #adhd relationships #emo #regret #loneliness #a bloo bloo bloo #prose #i miss you #i’m sorry #blog post

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sharethisgemwithme · 5 years

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SUF 1: “Little Homeschool” instant reaction

We're gonna meet some new gems, and learn what Little Homeworld is like in the aftermath of the movie

Even though the title sequence has changed, I can still say "the clock starts at 'We' with no pausing or rewinding on first watch."

0:00 - Man, that promo is great. "You are NOT my diamond!" 0:18 - Let's do thi! 0:21 - New episode title frame as well. 0:29 - OK, he's got little bottles of each gem's essence for healing the leftover gems. That's pretty cool. 0:46 - So are they still finding new corrupt gems in the wild? 0:55 - Still a little disappointed this isn't a Genuine Rose Quartz. 1:04 - That's definitely Kim Brooks btw 1:18 - "Is this a weapon?" 1:30 - Oh my god those cartoon diamonds. 1:43 - Ah, the Dondai. 1:58 - SPACETRIES. OH MY GOD. 2:05 - Aww, Connie. I'm surprised she's not starting college early. 2:20 - Yeah, you gotta explain these things first. 2:31 - THE RUBIES! 2:39 - How many puns can steven fit into a single sentence? 3:00 - Why is it unknown? 3:05 - Umm... okay. 3:14 - Yes, of all the people to explain human interaction, Pearl might be towards the bottom of the list. 3:35 - PROFESSOR AMETHYST. outstanding! 3:50 - I feel like I would be fired if I did that as a teacher. I do wanna try it tomorrow, though. 4:09 - "Not everyone". Are you referring to Cherry or Jasper? 4:25 - Yeah, he's talking about Jasper. 4:39 - Amethyst is like "Haven't we literally already had this conversation about how you need to stop trying to fix everyone?" 4:55 - The big J herself. 5:08 - "So I guess she just lives in a cave now?" 5:21 - In all fairness, a lot of humans would do that, too. 5:40 - OK, I'm intimidated. 5:50 - How has no one ever managed to teach Steven the fine art of shutting the fuck up? 6:12 - lol "sounds dumb". 6:31 - oh good, two people who miss the point with stunning frequency 6:53 - have we just crossed into "I'm gonna yell to let off steam" mode? 7:20 - literally "fite me" 7:34 - what the shit are you thinking, steven? 7:49 - are you just planning to "accidentally" drag her all the way to little homeworld? will that possibly work? 8:20 - Please don't step on the Steven. 8:32 - "You're nothing without them." Because having help is part of what makes him who he is. 8:50 - OK, we have upgraded to Pink Steven. 9:00 - Yikes. 9:05 - Jasper is practically getting off on this. The finest fight she's had in years. Millenia, even? 9:33 - "Stop laughing!" But it *is* funny. 9:50 - It's just a good ol' spar, like you had with Amethyst that one time. 10:13 - OK, I guess we'll take that as a no. 10:30 - This whole insta-healing thing is just such a ridiculous overpowered move. 10:53 - So are we going to get a Steven narration on every episode?

Instant reaction: I'm sure there's more to the Jasper story. We look forward to more to come!

#steven universe #steven universe future #su spoilers #instant reaction #su liveblog #little homeworld

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thewakingcloak · 5 years

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ProtoDungeon: Episode II

(Quasi)Daily Updates Thus Far

Hey all!

ProtoDungeon Episode II (TWC prequel) is coming along nicely, and I’m building out a lot of vital systems for it, future episodes, and The Waking Cloak. I also began a sort-of-daily update on the Discord server that I’ve been meaning to post here but keep forgetting to because I am a scattered, scattered person.

Anyway, uh, yeah, there are a lot of these, lol. I’ll try to post these more regularly in the future, but I hope this is fun and informative for those of you who like reading weirdly specific details about gamedev.

Daily Update - May 24, 2019

Summing up what I've already done before today: -Ring mechanics are done -Day, night, and light sensors are done (though don't have any art) -Created an object that will switch day/night

Today: - Reworking my "interaction" code so that you stop walking after interacting with something during the walk state.

Daily Update - May 25, 2019 -Finally resolved the "interact" code by adding a new player state. Now the player actually stops when interacting with objects instead of just walking into them the whole time. -Fixed a small bug where dialogue boxes would show up with the first message already "fast-forwarded" to the end with no sound. -Started working on polishing up the day/night switcher object (this is what the interact code was for). Should be important in this dungeon since the player won't have the cloak!

Daily Update - May 26, 2019 -I tend to take Sundays easy. I worked on a bed sprite for like ten minutes though!

Daily Update - May 27, 2019 -Added the ring and its upgrades to the test room! We're now technically ready for super early patron alpha testing, which I'll put up sometime in the secret patron channel in the next few days!

Daily Update - May 28, 2019 -Set up the Itch build for pre-alpha patron testing -Worked on figuring out how to clarify the day/night and ring mechanics, visually -Began sketching out dungeon layout, now that I have mechanics set (as opposed to Episode I where I had to retrofit my design a few times after it was mostly done).

Daily Update - May 30, 2019 -Finished the rough draft of the dungeon layout!!!

Daily Update - May 31, 2019 -Finished the second draft of the dungeon map, including several more detailed rooms with puzzle designs

Daily Update - June 1, 2019 - Finished the THIRD draft of the dungeon map, think I've finally got the layout and puzzle locations pretty much settled (it's been a toughie with day/night/dayshift/nightshift)

Daily Update - June 3, 2019 -Updated level 2 of the Ring of Starlight to generate two blocks instead of one block with a dayshift/nightshift effect. This is like what was originally level 3, except the blocks will move in sync with each other -Changed the ring upgrade descriptions. I'm going to try for a more lore-based, somewhat poetic approach for these over a mechanical explanation. (Level 3 is obviously a temporary description) -Pushed the build up to Itch as v0.3.0

For those of you who have access to the pre-alpha and are using the Itch client, updating should be very easy! However, since something got renamed somewhere along the line, you will most likely have to remove the previous version of the game if you don't want it to ask you to select your version when launching the game. I don't think this will happen again... probably. :) I'm still working on the level 3 mechanic, also.

Daily Update - June 5, 2019 -Decided on new lvl3 of the ring -Fixed blocks so they now fall into pits. Long live the king. -Updated Itch app to v0.3.1

Daily Update - June 7, 2019 -Added level 3 of the ring. -Fixed a bug where pushable blocks couldn't be pushed. You had one job, pushable blocks. -Fixed a bug where the player wouldn't fall into a pit after swapping with something that's over the pit. -Fixed a bug where the synced level 2 ring block would not collide with objects when starting from "rest".

Daily Update - June 8, 2019 -Fixed bug where the dialogue box would crash sometimes. I fixed this bug before. I don't know why it came back. The code I used to fix it was gone. Will keep an eye on this code to see if it disappears again. -Updated HUD to display ring and ring level instead of scroll and swap spell level. -Fixed the controls. Space was mapped to both item "A" and item "B", and apparently it doesn't work that way when the item isn't mapped to both slots :P -Fixed a bug where the game would be very, very tiny if it was not in focus when starting in fullscreen mode. I commented out a line of code when updating the application surface resizing and forgot to uncomment it. -Updated v0.3.9 to Itch -Started work on the next draft of the dungeon sketch now that the ring mechanic has been finalized wooooo

Daily Update - June 12, 2019 -Competed new draft of the dungeon, pretty happy with this one. I'll just need to work in the puzzles and make sure the dungeon graph (a la GMTK Boss Keys) works out so players can't get stuck. -Fixed an issue where you could push blocks past the edge of the screen (and a related one where when you tried to do that, you would keep moving through the block while the block stayed still). -Fixed an issue where you could create blocks on top of each other.

Daily Update - June 14, 2019 -Started working on Tiled draft of dungeon -Began experimenting with larger default room sizes. One aspect I liked from Blossom Tales. Still keeping rooms, of course, since that's what counterintuitively makes an overworld feel big, but bumping up their width/height by about 50% each makes them feel that much larger and explorationy. -Updated test room to new room size. -Uploaded v0.3.12 to Itch, which includes the new room size, as well as the fixed bugs from the June 12 daily update

Daily Update - June 16, 2019 -Continued working on Tiled draft of dungeon. Slow work at this stage, but I believe the overall layout is complete. -Started laying out my sticky note version of the dungeon and puzzles. Lots has changed since last time I built puzzles for this dungeon, so reworking it has been fun.

Trying to decide whether the blocks should stay put when you move out the room, or disappear like the Cane of Somaria. Persistent blocks would make for some interesting puzzles.

Also trying to decide how the overworld will map down to the dungeon, since some of the dungeon rooms are a bit small and constrained. I'd like them to line up. Might still make them the same size as the overworld rooms, just with long connecting bits.

Daily Update - June 18, 2019 -Puzzle design is done! -Tiled map draft is coming along much faster now that I know what to fill the rooms with. Already making tweaks to the puzzles (and I'll certainly make more tweaks when building in GameMaker, just how it goes)

Daily Update - June 19, 2019 -Tiled map draft is almost done! Getting verrrry close now.

Daily Update - June 21, 2019 -Tiled map draft is COMPLETE!!!

Daily Update - June 23, 2019 -The actual dungeon in GameMaker is underway and making quick progress. Already improving on the Tiled map, I think! Could be done with the graybox and have it playable for patrons by the end of the week--stay tuned. Lemony Snicket voice "Graybox" here means "with crappy programmer art and white/black tiles"

Daily Update - June 24, 2019 -Made major headway on the dungeon in GameMaker. Very close to wrapping up the graybox tiles, and I've made a bunch of refinements to the existing layout and puzzles!

Daily Update - June 26, 2019 -Layout and graybox tiles are done -Colliders are done -Cliffs are done -Stairs are done -Pits are done -Item upgrades are placed -Some keys are placed -Buttons are placed (not hooked up yet)

Quasidaily Update - June 27, 2019 -Worked on hooking up buttons and bridges and simplified the lvl1 ring room (for me, should be about the same for the player)

Quasidaily Update - June 28, 2019 -Finished doors and hooked up buttons -Fixed various puzzles and rooms that weren't working correctly

Quasidaily Update - June 39, 2019 -Finished the ladder! -Finished bridge collision -Completed... the trap room -Hooked up the doors/buttons I missed (pretty easy to find since I use a red color blend on the offending buttons ingame) I... uh... am just gonna leave that as the 39th Very very close to alpha now, unless those two bugs end up just crushing me

Quasidaily Update - July 1, 2019 -Added day/night blocks -Added a missing teleporter (int/ext door) -Fixed one of the two softlocking bugs (in about 5 minutes)!

Remaining before patron alpha release: -Secret thing -Second bug -Verification that the dungeon is playable from start to finish

Quasidaily Update - July 2, 2019 -The second bug is technically fixed, but it's pretty janky and unpolished. I'll keep working on this tomorrow. -Cleaned up and optimized the block pushing check logic, which had all kinds of duplicate collision checks and wack timers being set all over the place

Quasidaily Update - July 3, 2019 -Finally fixed the second bug. This was a block syncing/pushing issue that would've prevented everyone from completing the dungeon -Began testing the dungeon's playability from beginning to end. Ran into a few more things I fixed: -Added a level 3 ring upgrade description since it actually does something now -Some bridges were missing pits under them, so you could walk across even if the bridge wasn't activated. -Discovered the level 1 and 2 ring blocks don't fall in pits anymore. Oops. Gotta fix this still. Quasidaily Update - July 3, 2019 PART 2 -The dungeon is playable from start to end (except you can't get in the final room yet, but that's a quick fix) -Hooked up MORE buttons/doors that I had missed -Replaced/moved the keys around--I think this will be much more satisfying now -Added the method to get to t h e s e c r e t Pretty pleased with it this time around--I think it's even more cryptic and fun to discover ehehehe "ehehehe" is to be read with a witch's voice

Quasidaily Update - July 4, 2019 -Tweaked t h e s e c r e t entrance ほほほ -Worked on t h e s e c r e t puzzles.... they're pretty devious お~~ほほほ

Quasidaily Update - July 5, 2019 -Fixed broken challenge puzzle. -Fixed bug with lv1 and lv2 ring mechanics--they weren't falling down pits anymore. That just makes this game way too easy. -Fixed a bug with lv3 ring blocks that was also breaking the challenge puzzle -Added some tiles to cover up my greybox "answers" -This wraps up all the changes for alpha. We'll go live with the alpha for patrons early tomorrow!

Quasidaily Update - July 6, 2019 -Released the patron alpha! Woohoo! Rali has been enjoying it at least/ -Released v0.4.2 update: -Fixed two unmarked pits. Kinda sucks to fall into the solid ground. -Game Over now resets only the player, not the entire game.

Quasidaily Update - July 7, 2019 -Released v0.4.4 update: -Added collision around water bridges so you can't walk on or get trapped on the water... -Removed a call to GMLive that may be causing a crash on the PlayerEquipmentRingState script.

Quasidaily Update - July 7, 2019 PART DOS Released v0.4.10 update: -Removed "You got a key!" text because... well, it should be obvious. -Do not freeze player on headstone moving. -Fix stutter when a level 0 equipped item is "used." -Made it so you can't push jars and blocks up stairs. They are TOO HEAVY. -Added an escape route to the challenge room so you don't have to throw yourself in a pit to get back to the start if you get stuck. It doubles as a "skip" for one of the puzzles once it has been opened. -Fixed challenge room exit so you don't get trapped. :)

Quasidaily Update - July 9, 2019 -Fixed colors on the east/west player "use ring" sprite so that the night palette shader doesn't miss it (meaning it would render her skin in the day palette) -Updated teleporters to use channel strings so I don't have to manually set the target coordinates for ALL THE TELEPORTERS AAAAAAAH. -Oh, and yeah, most importantly: released v0.5.0 update! Completed dungeon remodel!! It uses the build-a-final-key method like in Episode I. This allowed me to make the dungeon a bit less linear. It also meant I knocked down a wall or two, added another puzzle or two, and all around made something I'm much more satisfied with.

Quasidaily Update - July 10, 2019 Released v0.5.5 update! -Fixed a crash when attempting to push arrows (read: moving toward an arrow while it's trying to kill you). -Toned down the arrow knockback effect -Fixed awkward/slow interaction with arrows knocking you into pits -Shortened room respawn freeze time -Fixed a bug where the player could walk directly into the arrow and avoid taking damage. Pretty sure that's not how arrows work (this was related to the pushing bug above!).

Quasidaily Update - July 11, 2019 -Starting to place actual tiles over the greybox tiles and gosh it's nice to have real art.

Quasidaily Update - July 12, 2019 -Majority of the final tiles have been placed and it looks great. I still need to make a few interior wall sets and a handful of floor tiles. It really brings the dungeon to life

Quasidaily Update - July 14, 2019 -Released v0.6.0!!! I'm very excited about this one because it's the first of the graphics updates. The majority of the basic final tiles have been placed. There are more graphics updates to come (which you'll note if you play this version), but is the biggest of 'em. Looks great in day and night!

Quasidaily Update - July 15, 2019 -Added new one-way-jump wall tiles -Completed secret room tiles and decorations -Added lighter tall grass

Quasidaily Update - July 16, 2019 -Today was a writing day, mainly. I'd like to have the little snippets of dialogue and bookshelves and so on done in a day or two. It's exciting stuff, showing off the tips of all these icebergs. -Last night I pushed v0.6.4, an update that had lots of good graphics updates. Except I forgot to replace the player back at the start of the level after testing, so neipo had some fun times starting at the END of the level. Fixed and uploaded in v0.6.5!

More! -Uploaded v0.6.6 in which I fixed an arrow issue that I already fixed previously. Except, I had only fixed it for ProtoDungeon I. Which is why @neipo13 ran into it to my great confusion.

More!!! Uploaded v0.6.8: -Fixed one of the lvl3 ring puzzles so it didn't have a ridiculously easy solution (thanks for finding that, neipo). -Fixed description of round key.

Quasidaily Update - July 17, 2019 I intended to do some writing today, but I got more excited about something else.... sooooo, cue the upload of v0.6.13 - The Optimization Patch! - in which the average framerate on my dev laptop is now 260fps up from 120fps. -Moved the half-speed/GIF mode to only be available in debug mode (this was "G" on the keyboard, so people could just press it and not be sure why the game was running so badly). -Scott's [regular & mod on the server] lappy had major framerate issues running the game, so I did some optimization and found out the pits were accounting for 50% of the time of every single frame. The best part: they only needed to run the offending code ONCE. So I moved that code from the step event to a one-time event and voila, framerate is way more stable. -Turned off GMLive entirely and added an easy toggle for me. This is very useful during development, but it likes to make lots of calls when turned on. -Updated the "listener" step event, which was setting a blend mode every single step. In debugger mode, this is so that stuff like buttons and doors turn red if they're not hooked up. Otherwise it "unsets" the blend mode by setting it to -1 every single step (regardless of debug mode). Apparently this has some unexpected overhead, even if the blend mode is ALREADY -1. A quick and easy fix. -Swapped out the existing (non-moving) tombstone objects for different objects. Almost all of the tombstones were instances of the same object as the ones that move, but that came with a lot of additional overhead (my "listener" object still accounts for a lot of time because it's doing some checking with ds_lists every frame for every listener object; the moving tombstones have listeners, the normal tombstones do not). They're behaving themselves now.

Quasidaily Update - July 18, 2019 Uploaded v0.6.14! -Fixed up collision in the secret room -Finished secret room lore dialogue

There's still more writing to do for the headstones, bookshelves, and a certain NPC who isn't in the game yet, but yeah! Getting there!

Quasidaily Update - July 20, 2019 Over the last day or two, I've slowed down a lot--think I'm getting close to burning out, plus not certain I'm satisfied with the story implementation thus far in Episode II (am I too obscure? Revealing too much? Will people care? etc). That said, I've gotten some stuff done, and uploaded v0.6.19 -Fixed some borked collision near the hut (thanks for finding that, Rali) -Fixed tombstones so they could display text -Added text to various tombstones >:) (and bookshelves) -Fixed the interaction check so that you don't interact with objects to the north of you when facing to the east or west.

Today I switched gears and created a batch file that could compile an executable without even opening GameMaker!! This is actually pretty exciting. I could almost, at this point, switch completely to GMEdit, which is significantly faster and more intuitive tham GM workspaces. Oh, and the batch file also uploads the compiled exe to Itch

Quasidaily Update - July 20, 2019 I decided to switch gears again and work on the save game feature. Not done yet, but it IS saving the player/inventory objects, and I'm setting it up to be pretty easily able to take in any set of objects, auto-read all their variables, and set 'em.

Quasidaily Update - July 22, 2019 Been working on the ol' save system still. It's going well. I had to fight a bit with my camera system (like always lol), and now I'm making sure the ring blocks properly reset--currently they crash the game which isn't quite right...

The system as planned for PDII will essentially be an autosave that triggers on entrance of each room. When loading the game, all solved puzzles should remain solved, and ring blocks should remain in place, and you'll appear at the entrance of whatever room you exited the game from. At some point in a later episode I'll include slots and specific save points not unlike bonfires from Dark Souls

Quasidaily Update - July 23, 2019 Saving and Loading Continued Cleaned up the loading--it would snap you back to the load point and the camera had trouble keeping up. Now it's a nice, clean fade transition with no camera moving around.

What's left: -Properly saving blocks and other puzzle elements. Currently it, uh, duplicates them? So that's nice. -For some reason, the ring itself disappears when you reload the game -Need to set up the fadeout transition so it finishes before puzzle elements get reset and the time of day changes -Set up an autosave on room enter -You can actually get stuck in the first ring room by crossing a bridge and having that bridge disappear behind you, then quitting and loading your save. I'm trying to think of a good way to solve it now and in the future without making it easy to miss setting up something manually.

Quasidaily Update - July 25, 2019 Moar Savingz Ring blocks are finally managing their own order, and it's wayyyyy more stable and uses a ton less code than before. Previously, during the player's "use ring" state, it would call the inventory manager to update the order of the blocks, which it stored in two variables. It worked, but occasionally the order would get really weird and so on, plus it was going to be a nightmare for reloading. The problem is that the inventory manager was holding the ring block IDs in those two variables, and IDs are not guaranteed to be the same on re-run.

Solution: ring blocks get an integer variable that stores their order, called order. When a ring block is created, it tells the other block to update its order. If that order is already 2, destroy it. Simple, and easy to save since it's an int.

In a pre-quasidaily update today Daniel learns why his ring blocks aren't loading They are And then they're instantly destroying themselves Because of the code he wrote To tell them to destroy themselves Thank you

Quasidaily Update - July 26, 2019 Uploaded v0.6.22, possibly the final 0.6 version since saving is coming sooooooooooon. BUT. Here's what you guys get: -Fixed some more collisions near the hut (seriously, did I move that entire room over one tile somehow) -Allow jumping off ANY ledge (WOOO) -Fixed occasional crash when creating ring blocks

The save/load system is working also, but not available outside of debug mode yet! As far as I can tell everything is saving and loading properly as expected. There are a couple places you can save scum past, and I have a few ideas for handling those, but that probably won't be something I deal with for a bit. However, the player is not currently able to save or load (unless they're in debug mode, as mentioned), which leads me to the next major update I will be working on: M E N U S and O P T I O N S

Quasidaily Update - July 27, 2019 I'm 25 minutes through a 70 minute series by FriendlyCosmonaut on a menu system. This is a lot lol.

In the process, I did a little bit of reworking/cleaning on my controls system. I now have some global variables that hold all the currently configured controls, instead of hardcoding the controls into the input manager. This was in preparation to allow control remapping!

Quasidaily Update - July 30, 2019 Been quiet for a few days--hard at work on the new menu system. This one is a doozy, you guys. I haven't done this much straight code on the TWC "engine" since Episode I.... maybe even longer.

Finished the FriendlyCosmonaut series, which was a great foundation. Now I'm building off it (and trying to get tons of parts of it to actually work still). I'd ideally like to have it look a lot like the old mockup from my blog post on difficulty settings (many of those difficulty settings will not be used in ProtoDungeon or TWC).

Here's what I got so far. Still a lot of the FriendlyCosmonaut design in this, which is good, but doesn't quite fit with this game.

brightness/contrast do nothing, window actually works pretty well--unless you change the smoothing size, in which case it starts acting up...

vsync.... I think works? I haven't even tried toggling screenshake I want to use the "bouncing arrows" style from the mockup instead of color, fix the on/off to use arrows instead, fix the sliders so they use pixel arrows instead of drawn circles.... so much left to dooooo I just have to remember it was loading a black screen this morning

Quasidaily Update - August 7, 2019 Been alternating between taking breaks and working furiously on menu stuff, as you can see with screenshots.

Spending a lot of time on remapping. There's a lot to polish here, stuff you might not think about on first glance (What happens if a key is already mapped to another? Do you handle the menu not closing while you're remapping the menu key? Do you handle the menu so it doesn't navigate when mapping the back key? Do you include primary and secondary control sets, and if so, how do you display that clearly? Etc.)

Not all these questions have difficult answers, but they add up. So that's basically all I've been working on for the past week or so :)

Today I got the gamepad up and running and the secondary control set as well. I forgot how good it feels to play the game with a controller vs a keyboard. My wife happily exclaimed "You're playing with a controller!" :D

The secondary control set was a back and forth decision. The deciding factor was mainly wanting to ease the initial "time to start" for different players--so you can move with WASD and the arrow keys, or with the dpad and the stick. I have a pretty good idea how the UI will work for this too, so now that the gamepad is working, I'm gonna start on the secondary controls.

Quasidaily Update - August 11, 2019 -Primary and secondary gamepad button remapping are working -Got some cool new gamepad icons, improved thanks to Corvos -Fixed the menu so you couldn't close it on the menu page when starting the game -Added a second, ingame menu with resume/settings/save & quit as options -The new menu will pause all "actors" (objects with states) -Fixed a bug where the secondary gamepad right input was not mapped

Quasidaily Update - August 13, 2019 -"Defaults" option now works for keyboard and gamepad -Fixed an issue where you couldn't remap some of the secondary keyboard inputs (broke it with the gamepad remapping). -Fixed an issue with the menu arrow being in the wrong place (broke it with the gamepad remapping). -Removed light blue coloring on selected menu items. Judging by other menus, arrow seems to be enough by itself. -When remapping, the current selected control will now blink instead of remaining static. -Made sliders more usable--it wasn't really possible to move them 1% at a time, which was unwieldy and annoying. Now they have a "ramping" speed and are much easier to control.

Quasidaily Update - August 13, 2019, Part II -Toned down the strength of the brightness slider just a bit. -Updated the shaders to affect the GUI as well as the game. This should include the menu as well as the HUD, the dialogue box, and, in TWC, the inventory screen. I kinda like this. We'll see if it bothers people. :D

Quasidaily Update - August 17, 2019 -Fixed an issue with menu sliders not being drawn when the shader is applying to GUI elements. Turns out the built-in line drawing doesn't pass texture information to the shader. At this point I'm not sure how to configure the shader correctly, so I just made the lines into sprites instead lol. -Added title to the top-level menu! Yay! -Fixed game loading so it would load the correct room (both GameMaker room and in-game "area"). -Autosave the game on room entrance. -Autosave the game on getting an item (this way you can't cheese certain rooms). At this point, playing the game, quitting, and coming. back to continue is working REALLY WELL. -No longer save "region" (rooms in the game) objects, since these get created and setup perfectly fine on room creation. -Added SOME SECRETS YAY! -Autosave the game on "teleporting"--going through doors, up/down stairs, etc. -Fixed the "circle out" transition, which was apparently not working or used anywhere. -Changed all "teleportation" to use circle-in/circle-out transitions--a little less visually jarring and much nicer looking than a fade-to-wipe-from-center.

Quasidaily Update - August 19, 2019 -Added tiny pause in the middle of the teleportation transition so that it's a bit less jarring -Simultaneously, allowed toggle to camera easing so that I don't have to add fragile pauses to loading and certain transitions and so on (to wait for the camera to finish moving to catch up with the player loaded position). This fixed a small camera jerk when loading the game. This will eventually be an option on the menu for those that don't like the easing (and also because turning off subpixels makes camera easing REALLY BAD). -Fixed issue with audio groups not loading (by loading them, wow). This is probably temporary since next big task is to add the Wandersong audio engine, but the fix let me actually see my debug messages instead of spamming "Audio Group 2 is not loaded" whenever a sound is played lol. -Fixed bug with loading the game on a teleporter (doors, stairs, etc.) where it would immediately take you to the target location. This had multiple parts, but namely 1) just making sure to set the global "isLoading" flag and to not teleport during that, and 2) setting the "isLoading" flag earlier, since the teleporters were faster than my load manager lol. -Fixed "New Game" issue where it would fade to black, start the game, and then fade to black again. Turns out if you call "fade out" twice, it will fade out twice.

#gamedev #indiedev #devlog #devblog #game development #The Waking Cloak #prequel #ProtoDungeon

42 notes · View notes

kaellecappuccino · 5 years

Note

Tigress/Ivy. Meeting website. Correspondence.

My real woman.

Tigress/Ivy, rating K+ (bad words spoken, bad kitty). Humor, Romance, awkard lesbian flirting.

12/03

You are connected as BadasGinger.

You got three new notifications :

SilverJules has added you.

WhiteTiger has added you.

Player2000 is connected.

Player2000 has sent you a message.

14:54

Player2000 :

Still on that app ?

BadasGinger :

Get off my back !

Player2000 :

I’m just asking.

Player2000 :

You should try out there. You know. In the real world. With real women.

BadasGinger :

It’s an adult website, so get. Lost.

Player2000 :

I’m just here to chat with you.

Player2000 :

As a friend.

BadasGinger :

As a friend, can you just leave me alone ?

12/03

SilverJules has sent you a message.

15:17

SilverJules :

Hi. I’m Jules :)

BadasGinger :

Hi Jules ! I’m Ivy.

SilverJules :

As in Poison Ivy ?

BadassGinger :

Yup. But with shorter hair xD

SilverJules :

It suits you !

BadasGinger :

Thanks ! #’-’#

BadasGinger :

It looks good on you too.

BadasGinger :

I like your profil pic I mean.

BadasGinger :

Wait. Is that a police officer badge I see on your jacket ?

SilverJules :

Ahah, thanks, and yes. I work at Interpool.

BadasGinger :

Woah. Impressive.

BadasGinger :

What do you investigate on, if it’s not indiscreet ?

SilverJules :

It’s confidential, I’m sorry.

SilverJules :

But I travel a lot.

SilverJules :

So it’s a bit hard to make durables connections.

SilverJules :

Thank God Internet is a thing.

BadasGinger :

I see. Where are you now ?

SilverJules :

Tokyo. And you ?

BadasGinger :

Woah, that’s so cool !

15:28

Player2000 :

Don’t want to crush your dreams, but you know she works with Devineaux, right ?

BadasGinger :

STOP. HACKING. INTO. MY. DM !!

BadasGinger :

But yes I know, he was in the background of one of her photos, screaming at a squirrel.

BadasGinger :

Shit. What do I do ?

Player2000 :

Play cool. Don’t block her, would be suspicious.

BadasGinger :

Do I tell Carm ?

Player2000 :

Better not, you know she has a crush on Jules.

BadasGinger :

Why do I put myself in such messes, always ??

Player2000 :

Just don’t tell her you’re in Tokyo too.

BadasGinger :

Thank for the help, you monkey !

Player2000 has disconnected.

15:31

BadasGinger :

Hi !

Message seen at 15:32.

BadasGinger :

Wow, that’s plain rude. If you don’t wanna talk, why did you add me ?

Message seen at 18:54

BadasGInger :

Ok. Whatever. Bye, have a nice life.

WhiteTiger :

Don’t be mad princess. Some ppl have a life outside this stupid network, unlike you.

BadasGinger :

You added me first, like… Duh ?

WhiteTiger :

You seemed no bother to get.

BadasGinger :

I’m hard to get, fuck you !

WhiteTiger :

Red are always easy to get, fuck you yourself.

BadasGinger :

You can talk trash all you want, with your ugly ass white hairs.

WhiteTiger :

It’s tendance.

BadasGinger :

It’s trying to be edgy, but failing spectacularly.

WhiteTiger :

….What’s your name again ?

15/03

WhiteTiger is connected.

WhiteTiger has sent you a msg.

17:09

WhiteTiger :

Wassup ?

BadasGinger :

Oh, you sent first message now ?

WhiteTiger :

Fuck off. I’m bored that’s all.

BadasGinger :

Sure.

BadasGinger :

Well, I’m good. And you ?

WhiteTiger :

I’m hungry.

WhiteTiger :

I really wanna eat some good old french fries.

WhiteTiger :

While bitching bout’ pretty much everyone I know.

BadasGinger :

Such a nice friend you are.

WhiteTiger :

I don’t have any friends. Just co-workers.

BadasGinger :

Oh. That is… unexpectedly sad.

BadasGinger :

What’s your work ?

WhiteTiger :

Import/export.

WhiteTiger :

You ?

BadasGinger :

Charity work.

WhiteTiger ;

You’re such an angel.

WhiteTiger :

It’s annoying.

BadasGinger :

I’m a cool angel.

BadasGinger :

I’m an angel that’ll kick your ass.

WhiteTiger:

Come and kick it then.

BadasGinger :

What ?

WhiteTiger :

I’m shit at flirting, just take the fucking hint.

BadasGinger :

Lol.

28/03

SilverJules is connected.

SilverJules has sent you a message.

11:34

SilverJules :

This is not getting anywhere, uh ?

BadasGinger :

No… I’m sorry…

SilverJules :

Don’t worry. It’s okay.

SilverJules :

Just so I know, should I remove my Interpol badge from my profile pics ?

BadasGinger :

Probably.

BadasGinger :

Even though it’s useful.

BadasGinger :

I mean for… keeping creeps away.

Player2000 is connected.

Player2000 has sent you a message.

11:36

Player2000 :

You want some help ?

BadasGinger :

I swear to God Player, stop hacking my dm.

Player2000 :

I won’t do it again, I swear.

You have been disconnected.

29/03

WhiteTiger is connected.

19:23

BadasGinger :

What’s your nationality ?

WhiteTiger :

American. But my mom was russian.

BadasGinger :

Was ? Is she…

BadasGinger :

Sorry, shouldn’t have asked that.

WhiteTiger :

Nah, it’s okay.

WhiteTiger :

And no, she’s alive. I think. She’s just not my mother anymore.

BadasGinger:

Oh. I’m sorry.

WhiteTiger :

Don’t. She was trash. Got myself a new family.

BadasGinger :

That’s cool ! You love them ?

WhiteTigress :

I don’t have the urge to kill them. Sometimes.

BadasGinger :

I feel you xD

04/04

WhiteTiger is connected

WhiteTiger has sent you a message.

21:01

WhiteTiger ;

You’re in Germany too ?

BadasGinger :

Yup. Work.

WhiteTiger:

Same.

BadasGinger :

Uuuh… You wanna… maybe… meet ?

BadasGinger :

Only if you want to.

BadasGinger :

I mean, you can say no.

BadasGinger :

I guess that you’re pretty busy and everything.

BadasGinger :

Import/export not easy.

WhiteTiger :

BadasGinger :

What ?

WhiteTiger :

Nano Kaffee, 09:30, tomorrow morning. Is that okay ?

BadasGinger :

Yes.

BadasGinger :

I mean, yes of course !! :D

05/04

WhiteTiger is connected

18:07

BadasGinger :

I’m still mad.

BadasGinger :

You could have told me !!

BadasGinger :

Import/export my ASS !

WhiteTiger :

Sure, it’s such the first thing to say on a meeting website !

WhiteTiger:

Hello, I’m Sheena, I like cats, drinking indian tea and long coats and also I’M A INTERNATIONAL THIEF WORKING FOR A SECRET ORGANIZATION ???

BadasGinger :

Of course said like that…

BadasGinger :

But my bro almost got hurt during your little operation !!

WhiteTiger :

If you hadn’t been working for CARMEN SANDIEGO OF ALL PEOPLE, we would NOT be there.

BadasGinger :

First of all, I don’t work for Carmen, I work with her.

BadasGinger :

Second, she’s not the problem here !

WhiteTiger:

Yes she is !!

WhiteTiger :

She’s a traitor ! I’m suppose to eliminate her !

BadasGinger :

Don’t you dare !

WhiteTiger:

Why am I not surprised that you defend her ?

WhiteTiger :

You’re probably already warming her bed so…

BadasGinger :

Oh my god how dARE YOU ??

BadasGinger :

She’s my friend ! You want to KILL her !! OF COURSE I’M DEFENDING HER !!

WhiteTiger :

Your friend UH, I doubt that.

BadasGinger :

Omg, are you jealous ?

BadasGinger :

Are you like, jealous, for real ?

WhiteTiger :

NO.

WhiteTiger :

I’M NOT.

BadasGinger :

Liar.

BadasGinger :

Beside, I’m not with Carm. She’s just a friend. She prefers older people anyway.

WhiteTiger :

She got horrible taste.

BadasGinger :

Stop it.

BadasGinger :

And I like you, dumbass.

BadasGinger :

Don’t be mistaken. I’m still mad.

BadasGinger :

But I like you. You and your stupid hairs.

BadasGinger :

Even though we gotta work through the whole Romeo and Juliet situation.

WhiteTiger :

I’m Juliet.

BadasGinger :

Not in your wildest dream.

25/04

WhiteTiger is connected

01:45

BadasGinger :

That was not your smartest move.

WhiteTiger :

Fuck off.

BadasGinger :

Still mad about your defeat ?

WhiteTiger :

You’re so annoying when you win.

BadasGinger :

You should not have try to steal the statue.

WhiteTiger :

Let me follow my orders in peace, would you ?

WhiteTiger :

You and your idiot brother and this bitch of Carmen Sandiego are a pain in the ass !

BadasGinger :

Coming from you, it’s hilarious.

BadasGinger :

I should have filmed the moment where Devineaux hit you with his baguette.

BadasGinger :

I’m still laughing btw.

WhiteTiger :

You’re the worst girlfriend ever.

WhiteTiger :

Wait that’s not what I meant !

WhiteTiger :

I mean, yes, that’s what I mean, you are the worst girlfriend possible, even though you’re technically not mine.

WhiteTiger :

Mine as in my girlfriend.

WhiteTiger :

Are you ?

WhiteTiger :

My girlfriend ? Are you my girlfriend ?

BadasGinger :

I’m literally dying of laughter over here.

WhiteTiger :

Not helping.

WhiteTiger :

Also, given that I possibly have a concussion thanks to that idiot inspector, you should be nice.

BadasGinger :

I thought we’ve been dating for 3 weeks now.

BadasGinger :

You really are an idiot.

WhiteTiger :

Or, I really do have a concussion.

08/05

WhiteTiger is connected

WhiteTiger has sent you a message

02:49

WhiteTiger :

Ivy. They found out.

BadasGinger :

What ?

WhiteTiger :

They know, about you, about the meeting website.

WhiteTiger :

About us.

WhiteTiger :

I’m so sorry. It’s my fault.

WhiteTiger :

They’re going to erase my mind.

WhiteTiger :

Just like they did to Gray.

WhiteTiger :

I’m so sorry Ivy.

WhiteTiger :

Try to find me when it’s done.

WhiteTiger :

So I could fall in love with you all over again.

WhiteTiger :

I’ll be waiting. I swear.

BadasGinger :

What are you talking about ?

BadasGinger :

Erase what memories ?

BadasGinger :

You’re scaring me.

BadasGinger :

Sheena ?

BadasGinger :

Sheena !

BadasGinger :

Sheena, please, answer me.

BadasGinger :

Sheena…

WhiteTiger has disconnected.

#carmen sandeigo 2019 #carmen sandeigo netflix #carmensandiego #ivy #sheena #tigress #ivy x sheena #sheena x ivy #tigress x ivy #ivy x tigress #fanfiction #fanfic #prompts #writing prompt #anon #kaelle cappuccino

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darling-clemmy · 5 years

Text

100 Truths

Tagged by darling @xscullyx (thank you, lovely💓)

1. Real name: Chloe

2. Nicknames: Clo(clo)

3. Zodiac sign: Leo

4. Gender: Female

5. Nursery: One that sucked

6. Primary school: Public

7. Secondary school: Public, same school district

8. Hair color: Brown-auburny

9. Long or short: It’s like to my collarbones. it was to my waist before i cut it in february

10. Loud or quiet: Quiet, unless with my bestest friends

11. Sweats or jeans: Sweats but i’d never wear them in public

12. Phone or camera: I wish i had a real camera, but i don’t, so phone :((

13. Health freak: Not really, i’m trying to be healthier tho! but i’ve been a vegetarian for the past 4 years.

14. Drink or smoke: I’ve drank a little before, but everything has been gross. never smoked.

15. Do you have a crush on someone: Not currently

16. Political orientation: Definitely more democratic, but i’m under 18 so it isn’t like i can vote or anything

17. Piercings: Regular ear piercings, and i’ve been begging my mom to let me get a nose stud ://

18. Tattoos: None since i’m 15 but i have one planned out :))

HAVE YOU EVER [BEEN IN]:

19. Airplane: Not a commercial one, but i’ve been in my grandpa’s!

20. Car *accident*: Thankfully not!

21. Fist fight: No, and i don’t think i ever will hahah

FIRSTS:

22. Piercing: Ears

23. Best friend: My ex best friend and i were friends for like 4 years until she used me for a bunch of stuff. but now i have an amazing best friend!!

24. Instrument: I played the violin from 5th-9th grade, stopped because i got too busy and it wasn’t fun anymore.

25. Award: I don’t think i’ve gotten one?

26. Crush: In third grade i liked this boy in my grade who’s now student body president lol

27. Language: English

28. Big vacation: The furthest i’ve been away from home is NY to my grandparent’s house.

LASTS:

29. Person I talked to: My dad

30. Person I texted: A guy in my biology class

31. Person I watched: This is a concerning question

32. Food I ate: Watermelon!!

33. Movie I watched: Coco

34. Song I listened to: listen before i go—billie eilish

35. Thing I bought: Ice cream with my friends :))

36. Person I hugged: My mom before i went into school

FAVES:

37. Food: I really enjoy grilled cheese and bagels

38. Drinks: Iced tea!!

39. Clothing: Ripped jeans, boring shirts, slip on vans (vv basic ik) (i’ve been liking dresses more lately tho!)

40. Book: Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon was pretty good!!

41. Color: A dark rosy-pink color (like the color of my blog ig)

42. Flower: Daisies

43. Music: Billie Eilish, Ariana Grande, Conan Gray, Troye Sivan

44. Movie: Coco or Totoro

45. Subjects: English

IN THE PAST YEAR IM

47. [] Kissed in the rain

48. [X] Celebrated Halloween

49. [] Had your heart broken

50. [] Went over the minutes on your cell phone

51. [] Someone questioned your sexual orientation

52. [] Used a weapon

53. [] Breathed fire (once again, concerning)

54. [] Had an abortion

55. [X] Done something you’ve regretted

56. [] Broke a promise

57. [X] Kept a secret

58. [X] Pretended to be happy

59. [] Met someone who changed your life

60. [X] Pretended to be sick

61. [] Left the country

62. [X] Tried something you normally wouldn’t like, and liked it

63. [X] Cried over the silliest thing

64. [] Ran a mile

65. [X] Went to the beach

66. [X] Stayed single (kinda idrk)

CURRENTLY:

67. Eating: Nothing

68. Drinking: Iced tea

69. Getting ready to: Try to finish and post some of those kissing requests!!💓

70. Listening to: imagine—Ariana Grande

71. Plans for tomorrow/today: Tomorrow i’ve gotta go to school, work on my final english essay/presentation, and hang out w my mom

72. Waiting for: School to be over!!!!

YOUR FUTURE:

73. Want kids: Yes! either 2 or 4

74. Want to get married: Yeah, but i’m more focused on just finding someone i love.

75. Careers in mind: Social worker

WHICH IS BETTER ON A PERSON/PARTNER:

76. Lips or eyes: Eyes

77. Shorter or taller: Taller, but p much everyone is taller than me.

78. Romantic or spontaneous: I’d enjoy both, but probably more romantic because sometimes spontaneity is bad.

79. Nice stomach or nice arms: Omg arms

80. Sensitive or loud: Either :))

81. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship def

82. Troublemaker or hesitant: Probably a troublemaker just because i’m so hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER:

83. Lost glasses/contacts: Haven’t had either

84. Ran away from home: Only as a joke when i was like 7

85. Held a weapon for self defense: Nope

86. Killed somebody: once AGAIN, concerning

87. Broken someone’s heart: I guess? idk it was complicated

88. Been arrested: No

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

90. Miracles: I really dunno

91. Yourself: Not extremely. i know what i do and don’t want in life, but i don’t really believe that i deserve anything or can do much.

92. Love at first sight: I like to think it’s real. maybe i’ll believe it more if it happens to me.

93. Heaven: I don’t believe in heaven/hell, but i also don’t think that once we die, we’re just gone forever

94. Santa Claus: No

95. Easter Bunny: No

96. Magic: No

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY

97. Is there one person you want to be with, right now: I’ve really been missing my sister lately, even though i saw her a few weeks ago.

98. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life: Sometimes things are still tough and there are some things i’d change, but it’s definitely better than it was a year and a half ago.

99. Are you happy with the person you’re with: Sadly single

100. Post as 100 truths and tag 5 people:

I dunno who has/hasn’t done this, so if you see this and would like to do it, then do it!! count that as a tag, i suppose💗💗

#100 truths #askclo #questions

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canaryatlaw · 5 years

Text

okay, it’s 1:30 am so I should start writing. Today was pretty blah, but I got a lot of work done so that’s good. I woke up to my alarm at 11 and for the first time in like a week I managed to actually get myself out of bed. started laundry and then after being on my computer for a bit started work. Finished up my research/outline with a ton of details that makes everything easier later on, then actually started writing the procedural history and statement of facts, while running up and down the stairs to get my laundry done as well. Overall I got like 8 hours of work in which is good, because I figure I’m probably only going to get like 4 hours done tomorrow between my psychiatrist appointment at 12:15 and the resulting Target trip after, and then having the chiropractor at 5. but 8 hours today and 4 hours tomorrow puts me at one 6 hour day and one 8 hour day for Wednesday and Thursday to hit 40 hours for the week, so that’s good. It’s a lot more manageable and less stress inducing for me when I can schedule it out like that so I know what to expect. I didn’t do much else during the day other than randomly get distracted by things on my computer before returning to work, but I did order a poké bowl for dinner to get some real food for a change as I’ve been mostly living off frozen food you can heat up in the toaster oven (because it’s too hot to use the oven) and cereal. That was really good. When I hit 8 hours I stopped and turned on netflix to watch some Sugar Rush. I ended up watching the last episode of their new season that just came out and then accidentally watching the first episode of the first season again, forgetting that I’d already watched it like last year until the end when I was like oh right, I remember these cakes lol. Their one challenge though was like something that doesn’t look how it tastes and this one team did this faux avocado toast and they used this scientific process called spherification to get pineapple curd into perfect little circles that reacted like an actual egg yolk when you pierced them, which was ridiculously fucking cool so I was very happy when they won. The team that got eliminated after the first round was planning on doing “sugar cookies that actually taste like pumpkin spice” for that challenge and I’m like.....lol of course you’re getting eliminated because that’s a terrible idea compared to all of your competitors. Lol. After that I watched an episode of Anthony Bourdain since I hadn’t done that in a while, then watched Jimmy Kimmel for a bit before showering and starting to get ready for bed and now I am here. Gotta wake up at 10:50 am to get to my psych appointment. I’m kinda nervous about telling the psychiatrist that things have not been great mentally because I’m scared of what reaction I might have to meds being tweaked, but if the last few days have proven anything it’s that my mental health is not good at all right now and I need to do something about it, so I guess this is it. Almost 2 am now, I should get to sleep. Goodnight babes. Hope your Monday didn’t suck.

#daily journal #August 2019

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jercythesiscrying · 5 years

Text

Tsukki <3 is calling... | KuroTsukki, Slash, G, 1.7k

NaNoWriMo Day 28: Fic-ception (aka fic about a fic)

Summary: A continuation of The Last Red Scribble by @doggonneit. Definitely necessary to read that before reading this~!

Read on Ao3

A/N: Couldn't help but write about doggoneit's adorable single parent au for this prompt. Please do read that before reading this one because it’s so worth it /)w(\ Unbeta’d because I’m tired. Mistakes galore especially since I'm not used to formatting chat fics like this /o\

Italics is Tsukishima. Bold is Kuroo. Regular text is Kageyama.

Tuesday PM

(5:11) Akiteru is bringing Tobio for class tomorrow because I have to work a late shift, but I’ll be able to pick him up afterwards. (5:12) Please do not teach my son anything violent.

(5:13) tsukki!! so mean!!! (5:13) i would never!!

(5:14) Surprisingly, you’ve yet to prove otherwise so please keep that up.

(5:14) see! (5:15) can akiteru stay and watch? i could gossip with him about you more

(5:16) Do that and they’ll never find your bodies.

(5:17) do what? whose bodies?

(5:18) Glad you catch on quick.

(5:18) only for u babe <3

(5:20) Also I don’t think nii-san can stay tomorrow. He has something with a friend apparently?

(5:21) aw (5:21) oh well (5:22) see you and tobio tomorrow!

(5:24) See you.

Wednesday PM

Kuroo is calling...

“Hello?”

“Hey, so! I forgot to tell you when you came by to pick up Tobio earlier, but a little bird told me an embarrassing secret of yours...”

(muffled laughter)

“Who do I have to kill?”

“So violent!”

“I asked a question: Who do I have to kill?”

“Really, Tsukki? You’re gonna murder your own son? Your only offspring? The apple—I mean—blueberry of your eye? The –”

“Okay, I get your point, please stop talking.”

(sigh)

“What did Tobio say now?”

“Oh, nothing much... just that you reeeally liked me before we started dating.”

“I can hear you grinning over a verbal conversation. How is that possible?”

“Aw, baaabe! You didn’t deny it! You had a crush on me!”

“We’re already dating.”

“Still!”

“Dad, why is Kuroo-san making weird noises?”

“Because he’s weird.”

“Oh, Tobio’s there? Hi, Tobio!”

“Hi, Kuroo-san.”

“He just finished his glass of milk before bed so he came to say good night.

“Yeah.”

“That’s good, kid! Keep drinking milk and maybe you’ll be as tall as me one day! Anyway, Tsukki, don’t change the subject—you’re very cute and totally had a crush on me.”

“He really did.”

“Tobio!”

“See!”

“I think that’s enough from both of you now. Good night, Kuroo.”

“‘Night, babe! You too, Tobio! Have sweet dreams about me!”

(grumbling)

“I said good night!”

“Muah!”

“Good night, Kuroo-san.”

Saturday AM

(11:15) Was Tobio good today at volleyball this morning?

(11:16) hes a fuckin champ he watched kenma like a hawk the entire time he was teaching everyone how to set (11:16) freaked kenma out tbh lol

(11:17) I meant if he behaved well.

(11:17) of course he did babe (11:18) Tobios always well behaved for vball

(11:18) Thank goodness for that.

(11:18) why (11:19) is he acting up in school again?

(11:19) No...?

(11:20) then whats up?

(11:20) Nothing. (11:21) just looking out for my son, that’s all.

(11:22) omg thats so cute

(11:22) What? Caring for my child? (11:23) That’s called being a parent, Kuroo.

(11:23) lol i know (11:24) i mean how you worry for him (11:24) make sure hes doing well and stuff

(11:25) That’s called being a *parent*, Kuroo.

(11:26) its called being a very sweet father who loves his son a lot

(11:28) Feeling sentimental, aren’t we.

(11:28) im just (11:30) so glad im with a guy that really cares for his loved ones the way you do (11:31) :)

(11:33) I (11:35) I don’t know what to say to that.

(11:35) babe (11:36) ur supposed to say something nice back to me now

(11:36) ...

(11:37) im waiting :3 (11:38) here all night if i have to be

(11:40) You are the most annoying person on the planet.

(11:40) :3c

(11:41) *rolling eyes emoji* (11:41) Fine. (11:45) I like how you can keep up with my humour, and how you treat Tobio. (11:47) You’re very patient and considerate with the both of us.

(11:47) TSUKKI (11:48) THATS THE NICEST THING YOUVE EVER SAID TO ME

(11:50) Ah, yes the good old “you’re a decent human being” compliment. (11:51) Absolutely groundbreaking in societal niceties.

(11:52) YOU MAY AS WELL HAVE CONFESSED UR LOVE FOR ME

(11:52) ...

(11:52) !!!!!!!

(11:53) I’m not dignifying that with a response.

(11:54) LOVE U TOO BABE (11:54) BRODOOOKUTOT (11:55) TSUKKI TORLD ME HE ELOVED ME TODAY

(11:56) Do you always gossip like a middle schooler with Bokuto-san?

(11:57) IDEC THAT I TEXTEFD U BYA CCIDENT (11:58) LOVE YOU!!

(11:59) *rolling eyes emoji* (12:00) Love you too.

(12:00) !!!! (12:01) <3

(12:03) <3

Thursday PM

(2:32) Kuroo?

(2:34) shimizu! whats up

(2:35) Tsukishima told me the news. (2:36) Thank you *so* much.

(2:39) ... ur welcome? (2:40) not sure for what exactly lol

(2:41) He told me you said you loved him.

(2:41) oh

(2:42) He also told me he said it back.

(2:44) um yeah (2:46) its really easy to, u know? (2:46) i fell very quickly :)

(2:47) And I thank you for that.

(2:48) why?

(2:51) I don’t remember if I told you this, but I was worried my decision to keep Tobio would affect Tsukishima’s future relationships.

(2:52) o ya you did say that (2:53) i mean, tsukkis one of the most hardworking and caring people i know (2:54) and its obvious he loves tobio a lot (2:54) cant help but love him

(2:55) I’m glad you think so too. (2:56) I may not love Tsukishima the same way but I’m sure you already know how much he and Tobio mean to me.

(2:57) i do (2:58) thank you for letting me love them

(2:59) It’s not my place to be thanked.

(3:00) then its not mine either :)

(3:05) :) (3:06) Please take good care of them.

(3:06) i promise (3:09) take care in america!!

(3:10) Thank you.

Sunday AM

Tsukki <3 is calling...

“Hello? Tsukki?”

“Kuroo-san?”

“... Tobio? Is that you?”

“Yes.”

“Hey, buddy! What’s up? Why are you on your dad’s phone?”

“Dad’s sick.”

“Oh no! Is he in bed right now?”

“Yes. He’s asleep.”

“That’s good. He needs plenty of rest.”

“...”

“Hey, uh, Tobio, how did you call me? Are you learning how to read in school now?”

“Yeah, but also your picture is on Dad’s phone.”

“Really, huh! Do you remember which one? Can you check for me?”

(rustling)

“Uhhh, the one where you’re showing off your arm.”

(muffled)

“That just made my entire day, oh my god.”

“Kuroo-san? I can’t hear you because you’re talking too fast.”

“Oh, sorry, Tobio! Just got distracted. Anyway, was there a reason you called me?”

“Dad’s sick.”

“Yes, you told me, kiddo. Is Akiteru-san taking care of him?”

“Nuh-uh. Aki-jiichan had work. He said he was gonna get someone but since no one’s here yet I took Dad’s phone and called you.”

“Oh. OH! You need me to come over, Tobio?”

“Yes, please. I don’t know how to heat up my lunch.”

“I’m on my way, kiddo. I’ll check on your dad too, okay?”

“Okay. See you, Kuroo-san!”

“Bye, Tobio!”

Click.

Sunday AM

(11:49) tobio just called me bc tsukkis sick (11:50) why didnt you tell me? i would be omw in a heartbeat

(11:51) I thought I did???! (11:52) CRAP MY MESSAGE DIDNT SEND (11:53) PLEASE LOOK AFTER KEI AND TOBIO, OH GOD

(11:54) already on it, akiteru-san (11:57) send me their address please!

(11:59) Gotcha! (12:01) Thank you Kuroo-kun!!

Sunday PM

Tsukki <3 is calling...

“Hello? Tsukki, already calling me? I just left your place –”

“Kuroo-san?”

“Oh, Tobio! Hey, kid, what’s up?”

“Thank you for coming.”

“Oh, it was no problem! I’m glad I could help!”

“Dad forgot to say thank you earlier so I’m calling to tell you.”

“Tobio!”

(rustling)

“Tobio? You still there?”

“Sorry about that. Tobio took my phone.”

“It’s fine. You got a smart kid there.”

“I’ve got a kid who’s out to make my life hell is what I got.”

“You love him though!”

“Wouldn’t trade him for the world. Still, I did not tell him to tell you I said ‘thank you’.”

“Great! So that means you can tell me yourself now!”

“Seriously, I cannot believe I can hear you grinning on a phone conversation. How are you doing that?”

“Doesn’t matter! Now tell me ‘thank you’!”

“No.”

“Please, Tsukki!”

“Dad, you should tell him ‘thank you’.”

“Listen to Tobio!”

“Quit it, both of you.”

(sigh)

“Um... thanks, I guess, Kuroo.”

“Laying it real thick there, Tsukki. It almost sounded like you weren’t having your teeth pulled.”

“You’re the one who asked!”

“You did, Kuroo-san.”

(muffled)

“Tobio, can you play in your room please? Dad’s gotta have a conversation with Kuroo-san.”

“Okay.”

(rustling)

“A ‘conversation’, huh? You’re voice still sounds too rough to be talking, you know.”

“I have tea with me right now, I’ll be fine.”

“Good! And you’re welcome, by the way, I was happy to help. You can call me next time too, you know? Instead of asking Akiteru to do it.”

“I told you I thought Yamaguchi was coming over. I didn’t know nii-san asked for you instead.”

“But he did and now you can too! So just, you know, ask.”

“... I don’t like depending on people.”

“I know, Tsukki, but I swear you and Tobio can count on me, okay?”

“You can’t promise that.”

“I can: I promise I’ll be there for you and Tobio. There, just did it.”

“You can’t guarantee that.”

“Maybe not, but I’m gonna try my hardest anyway.”

“... I couldn’t stop you even if I wanted, huh?”

“No.”

“Please stop grinning—I can still hear you.”

“Wanna see it?”

(8:01) *image attached*

“That is the derpiest look I’ve ever seen, oh my god.”

“Glad you like it!”

“...”

(sigh)

“I. I guess I’ll count on you... sometimes... or whatever.”

“TSUKKIIIII!”

“Don’t yell when you’re on the phone, jeez.”

“I love you!! You can totally count on me!! Tobio too!!”

“Oh god, what have I done? Whatever, it’s late and I have to put Tobio to bed still. Good night, Kuroo-san.”

“‘Night, babe!”

“‘Night... I love you too.”

“TSUUUUKKIIIIIIIII – !!!”

Click.

#kurotsukki #Kuroo Tetsurou #tsukishima kei #kageyama tobio #Shimizu Kiyoko #tsukishima akiteru #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #hq!!#nanowrimo 2018 #week 5 #tropes #au #slash #jercy's fic tag

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yuki-setsu · 7 years

Text

12 Days of (Lance) Whumpmas! - Day 2 [Indigestion/Emeto/Overeating]

still soft whump but tomorrow’s probably gonna be more exciting LOL gotta think of something first though

part of the 12 Days of VLD Whumpmas hosted by @vldwhumpmas2017! check out more info on the challenge here if you want to participate!

In Lance's defense, Hunk had been making cookies. More specifically, Christmas cookies. Hunk had almost figured out a recipe that was close to peppermint sugar cookies, and Lance had eagerly volunteered to be a taste tester. Of course, it still led to many test trials, and Hunk adjusted the recipe each time Lance gave his review. But as Lance sat there, munching on yet another test cookie (even those tasted delicious), he never really took into account just how many he'd been taste-testing. It had been a while since he'd had something this good, so he didn't think much of it. Might as well enjoy the treats while they lasted.

By the time Hunk had finally reached what he deemed 'the perfect peppermint sugar cookies', Lance felt his stomach grumble in protest at the thought of another bite. Even the faint smell of peppermint made him nauseous.

“Uh, I'll pass on this batch, buddy.” Lance managed, lifting a hand in surrender. “Can already tell they taste awesome, though!”

Hunk frowned, glancing at the tray. “You're not gonna try the final product? This is, like, what all my efforts have been building up to!”

“Hunk, my man.” Lance got to his feet, ignoring the way his stomach rolled at the movement. “If I eat another cookie right now, I'm pretty sure I'd explode into more peppermint cookies.” He patted Hunk's shoulder lightly. “Save a few for me, I'll eat it later. I promise!”

The cookies had to wait a bit more before any of the others could try them, though, since Allura called for another team training exercise before dinner. Which Lance didn't usually mind, except on this particular day, trying to fit into his Paladin armor with his stomach feeling like it was gonna burst seemed like a bad idea. He almost threw up once he was fully dressed, but the sensation passed by in a sluggish wave. He kind of wished he had thrown up, though, if that meant he wouldn't risk doing it in front of everyone during training. Especially the Princess. Pretty sure he'd die of embarrassment if that happened.

He made his way to the training room, evidently the last to arrive. Allura was already speaking from the command deck, halfway through her explanation of the exercise. It was more of a pair combat thing, but that was all Lance managed to decipher from the little information he heard. Shiro and Keith were going first apparently, and Lance was happy to stand-by the side with the others while he urged his stomach to settle. He felt the beginnings of an ache starting to bloom, which would probably worsen once he actually started moving around more. What a comforting thought that was.

Pidge and Hunk were busy talking, and Lance could guess what it was about once he heard Hunk mention baking. He tried to just focus on deep breaths, ignoring the incessant pains in his stomach. Maybe it would pass after a bit. Wow, definitely not eating that many cookies in one go again.

“Great work, you two.” Allura's voice chimed in, pleased. “Get some water and rest. Lance, Hunk, Pidge, you three will go together.”

Lance felt the others start to move, but when he tried to follow, his legs chose that moment to give out at the sudden burst of pain that exploded in his stomach. It felt like a terrible variation of stomach cramps, and he just barely caught himself with his hands before he fell on his face. A low groan escaped his mouth when his knees hit the ground, although he was more focused on telling himself don't throw up don't throw up don't throw up.

That mantra almost failed when someone grabbed at his shoulders, trying to get a better look at his face. He realized it was Hunk once the voice started trickling back in his ears.

“Lance! What's wrong? Something hurting?” Hunk asked, voice shrill.

Lance held up a hand weakly, trying to stop the jostling. “Ugh... 'm fine. No shaking please. Just my stomach.”

“Your stomach? Did you eat something?” Keith asked from somewhere to the side.

Hunk's grip tightened on Lance's shoulders for just a second. “Oh. Dude, did you overeat? You definitely did, you had like... so many cookies.”

“Cookies?” Pidge piped up, although her tone immediately sobered. “You might be indigested too, then. Have you thrown up?”

Lance blew out a breath. “No. Trying not to right now.”

He heard doors slide open before Coran and Allura rushed over, worry evident on their faces. Lance was ready to tell everyone they were overreacting, but another rush of pain distracted him from forming the proper words.

“Is he alright? What's wrong?” Allura asked.

“Stomachache.” Hunk said, moving to pull Lance back to his feet. Lance wanted to complain, but Hunk was way stronger than he was, even if he did try to resist. “Don't think he can train right now. Can I take him to his room?”

Allura nodded. “Of course.”

Lance tried to dig his heels in when Hunk led him towards the door, ready to protest this time. “Wait, I just—give me a few minutes, and I'll feel better in no time flat.” His stomach clenched angrily at that, and he doubled over as the wave of nausea passed. “Ugh... Maybe like 30 minutes, actually.”

“No can do.” Shiro piped up, a comforting hand on Lance's back. “Making yourself train in that state is only gonna result in bad things. Get some rest and we'll pick this up next time.”

Hunk tugged him towards the doors again, and Lance let him. “We're gonna take the long way to your room. Walking it off helps.”

He was probably right, but Lance's stomach didn't cooperate for the first half of their trek. At one point, he'd been ready to curl up in the middle of the hallway, but Hunk was quick to shoot that down. By the time they'd actually reached his room, though, Lance had to admit he felt the tiniest bit better. Even though he still felt sick to his stomach.

Hunk ordered him to change into his pajamas, ushering Lance into the bathroom. Once he'd taken off his armor, Lance finally threw up, although not a lot. He was lucky he was in the bathroom, at least. Hunk had banged on the door in a panic, but Lance assured him he was fine, slowly cleaning up and changing before he headed back out.

Hunk eyed him, worryingly insistent. “How do you feel?”

“Better. Still feel like I just got off a rollercoaster after riding it 3 times in a row, but better.”

Hunk frowned, but had Lance sit on the bed nonetheless. “Don't lie down yet. Give your stomach time to settle a bit.”

A knock at the door, and Keith walked in, some sort of pack in hand. Wow, he actually looked a little worried. “Uh, Pidge told me to bring this. It's a heat pack for your stomach.”

Lance's eyes widened, but he held out his hand to take it. “Oh. Uh... Thanks, man.”

Keith nodded, sharing a look with Hunk before he settled onto the ground next to him. Lance was surprised that Keith was deciding to camp it out with them, but didn't comment on it as he pressed the pack lightly against his stomach. Definitely felt nice. He let out a sigh, grateful for the reprieve.

Hunk started the conversation this time, telling Keith about the awesome peppermint sugar cookies he baked. Keith had apparently never tried such cookies, and he listened with curious excitement at the entire baking process. Lance was glad for the casual ambiance as he sat there on the bed, rubbing at the pack and occasionally adding to Hunk's story. He wasn't sure how much time passed, but it didn't take long for Lance to zone out, the steady warmth of the hot pack lulling him into a sense of drowsiness.

“—nce, Lance.” Hunk's voice cut in through the haze, and Lance blinked, noticing that Hunk was directly in front of him now. Keith hovered in the back, eyeing him nervously. “Are you tired?” Lance nodded, sluggish. “Here, lie down now. I'll have someone bring you some water later to drink.”

Lance mumbled in agreement, letting Hunk take the hot pack and get him under the blankets. Sleep came way too quickly, and Lance was pretty sure he fell asleep before Hunk and Keith managed to even leave the room.

It was his stomach that woke him up again, although it definitely wasn't as bad as before. They were dull thrums of pain that prickled at his stomach, and Lance groaned as he rolled onto his side. What time was it?

“Does your stomach still hurt?” Lance's eyes flew open at Shiro's voice, spotting him on a chair right next to his bed. He had a tablet in his hand, but Shiro's attention was no longer on it.

Lance was too drowsy to even feel awkward at this situation. Was he really being babysat for a stomachache? “A little.”

Shiro gave a sympathetic grin. “Did you wanna try drinking some water?”

Lance pondered it for a second before shaking his head. “Maybe later. I don't wanna move.”

There was a short pause before Shiro spoke again. “Want me to rub your stomach?”

Lance was pretty sure his brain short-circuited at the question. When he came to, Shiro was still sitting there, waiting for a reply. “Did you just ask if I wanted a stomach rub?”

Shiro grinned, an amused one this time. “Haven't you heard about stomach rubs helping with digestion and stomach pain?”

“No, I have, but... This... You...” Lance stumbled for the right words, not even sure what he was trying to argue anymore.

Shiro held up his hands. “It was just a suggestion, Lance. You're not obligated to accept.”

Lance's stomach throbbed again, and he curled a bit closer into himself. It didn't seem like a bad idea, actually. He'd given one a many stomach rubs to his siblings back when they ate too much after a big dinner, and they'd loved it. “Could you?”

Shiro blinked, almost in surprise before a small smile touched his face. He nodded, turning off the tablet and setting it aside. “Of course. Roll onto your back.”

Lance did, ignoring the slight jolt of discomfort in his stomach at the motion. Shiro scooted his chair closer, reaching his human hand out and placing it above the blankets where Lance's stomach was. He massaged it gently, and Lance felt the flush of embarrassment at the situation creep away as Shiro worked.

“Dude,” Lance finally piped up after a few moments. “Were you a masseur in your past life or something? You're strangely good at this.”

Shiro chuckled, looking more relaxed. “Not sure about that, but thanks.”

“Seriously, my stomach already feels a lot better.” Lance thought for a second. “Why were you hanging out here though? I just had a stomachache.”

“Hunk worried that you might throw up again, so he asked me to keep watch for a bit. He said he's gonna bring you some kind of tea later.” Shiro grinned. “If your stomach still feels bad when he gets here, you could probably ask him for a stomach rub, too. Not sure about Keith and Pidge, though.”

Lance snorted at that. “Yeah, I'll stick with you and Hunk. Pretty sure they'd make it worse if they tried.”

His stomach felt way better afterwards, so he didn't need to ask Hunk for a massage when he finally arrived, cup in hand. Lance pushed himself upright as Shiro scooted over for Hunk to sit on the side of the bed.

“Okay, listen.” Hunk started, face apologetic. “Pretty sure you're sick of peppermint at this point, but this is kind of like peppermint tea, which helps the stomach.”

Hunk was right, Lance was sick of peppermint. But for his stomach's sake, he drank it. Those cookies would probably have to wait a while though. Hopefully they didn't expire fast.

#my writing #vld #voltron #lance #lance mcclain #keith #shiro #pidge #hunk #allura #coran #12 days of vld whumpmas

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thedappleddragon · 3 years

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ugh im big stupid and haven't been posting my shit here for a while. I've still been typing it out in my notes, I just havent transferred them onto here lol. im putting it all under the cut, don't worry

Today was pretty dang nice! I spent a little time outside because it was nice and warm out, I drew a little in my sketchbook and digitally rendered a picture of Anna’s new princess outfit, ran an errand with my mom to pick up a graphing calculator and a pack of soda, ate some Wendy’s, and did a lot of sewing for my dress! I joined the bodice lining and exterior, and did a little over half of the sewing for the skirt. I’m doing French seams so there’s no raw edges on the inside, so I still have to iron it and go over the second round of stitches. My machine malfunctioned for a moment with the thread tangling up in the lower bobbin thingy, so I left it alone for like an hour and it fixed itself lol. I’m very happy with how the bodice came out after clipping all the extra fabric in the corners and test fitting it. I think it’ll be great when it’s done!! Although I may or may not need to seam rip a little bit of the skirt to extend the zipper down so I can get it over my fuckin DUMPTRUCK when putting it on. Right now there’s enough stretch to put it on, but Idk how well that’ll stay after attaching the 2 pieces. Also it might end up making me look fat/preggo in the end with how the skirt lays lmao. I also did a really quick test fit with the sleeves, and I might actually like it better sleeveless? I’ll put one on anyway and go from there to see which I like better. HOORAY this dress has pockets!! But I may have put them a little low lol. I wanted to do a big dress debut at prom, but turns out graduates aren’t allowed due to covid restrictions :( so that really sucks. But we’re still gonna hang out a little bit beforehand, and I can still do a debut. I made a little bow out of some scrap dress fabric, which I want to put in my hair for pre-prom. I think I’ll braid my hair, maybe get some fake flowers from dollar tree and ribbon to add somehow, and put the ribbon either at the bottom or the top, wherever the hair tie eventually goes. I’m so exited to work on it more. I’m kinda running out of white thread tho so I’ll have to get more. Later in the evening i got hungry and made ramen while my dad and I watched a documentary on some of the horrible shit that went on all around the world during 2020, some of which I had forgotten about, some that was really surreal and out of a dystopian movie, and some stuff that was just upsetting to watch. It was still pretty good tho. I got work tomorrow and I’m really sleepy even tho it’s only 12:30 so I think I’m gonna grab a snack and go to sleep soon. Gnight mwah

Yesterday I worked and sewed until I ran out of thread and drew a little bit. Spent most of my shift watering flowers, then I went home and ate for a moment, then watered more and picked dead flowers and talked about avatar and other animated shows with the highschool girl I work with. Came home and hung out for a while, that evening made some good pasta.

Today I justly hung out, then went with mom to pick up a bookshelf and went through strawtown which I thought was a very funny name for a town. There was a cute antique shop in there tho. On the way back we stopped in a sewing shop called Always in stitches. I expected it to be a very small shop, but it was SO much bigger than I thought it would be. They had tons of fabric and quilting supplies, and lots of old ladies working and talking. I picked up a cone of white thread and a fabric sample pack. Then I sewed my dress a little bit. I still have lots to do, and only like 2.5 days to do it. I’ll get there tho. All I have to do is add the skirt hem, add the pockets back in (I took them out so I could see them in normally), add sleeves and hem them, and add the zipper. And attach the skirt to the bodice. I think I’ll be able to do it. I had yogurt for the first time in forever today. Tbh I used just enough to hold together the strawberry and granola bits kgelgskgs. It was pretty good tho. I drew ELEVEN pages in my sketchbook, about 8 of them being a comic about the pony au of our royalty au. I could have done the comic with human characters but ponies are so much easier to draw aggsssdh. I spent 40 minutes typing out the dialogue and editing it on top of the rest of the comic so my friend could read it, but she still hasn’t read my text :( oh well that’s fine lol. The original plot was supposed to be Sam talking to an accidental illusion of me being mean about her blight, but then I accidentally made it something different. I might just draw the alternate ending instead. Update I just did

Yesterday I sewed and went to Menards to buy tile for moms bathroom.

Today was VERY productive, I feel like. I woke up and immediately took a shower and did laundry. I spent some one just sitting on my bed scrolling and researching while listening to medieval remixes of songs lol. At some point I went out to buy subway for everyone and stopped at dollar tree for nail polish and satin ribbon. I made the ribbon into a little choker and wanted to use it for the hem of the skirt, but I was too short. In total I spent HOURS hemming and pinning and seam ripping and ironing and sewing today, but it’s still not done. I gotta kick my ass into high gear if it’s gone be done by Sunday afternoon. I started sewing the bottom hem, but my machine has been doing this weird thing where the fabric scrunches up right past the sewing foot and leaves wrinkles and gathers so loose I can move it around with my hands easily. I think it’s just my tension being too tight or something, I adjusted it a bit and I’ll test it in the morning. I’m too tired and it’s too late at night to be doing that much sewing. I seam ripped the entire back skirt seam so I could extend the zipper a little further down, and I’ll sew it back up once the hem is done. After that all I need to donis connect the skirt to the bocice, fix the zipper, and hem the arm holes. I don’t want to use the sleeves I made because the edges don’t line up at all and I don’t think I would be able to lift my arms, the way it’s built. The nail polish I picked up works way better than I thought it would, leaving a pretty good metallic sheen after just one coat. Way better than I thought for a dollar. I helped mom lay down tile a little bit, ripping up one old tile and helping a bit at a time throughout the day. I kept asking if she wanted help with the actual tiling part but she said no. We also couldn’t get the fuckin box cutter I bought to work. It’s supposed to be easy to replace the blade, but we couldn’t figure it out lol. I’m falling asleep fun. Washed my face twice, trying to take good care of myself before prom so I look good in photos. Gotta wash hair tomorrow. Made hamburger meat

Spent all day sewing and listening to bardcore remixes. Dress is as done as I bother to make it rn

Tbh I was hoping for a little more for today. I’ve spent the last like week or longer working towards this, and going especially in depth the past 3 days. I got all silky smooth, worked for hours on my dress, thought about pretty much nothing except prom day. I was late because my dad had my neighbor come over to take pictures of me in my dress. I thought it was just going to be her holding my dad’s phone to get a picture of us together, but she brought her whole ass professional camera and spent several minutes taking pictures. Then I took the weirdest way possible to get to my friend’s house on accident because google maps said it was the fastest way to get there. But HEY when I did get there I enjoyed hanging out with my friends. We ate some dinner AND??? Sammie I’m sorry if you’re reading this but THE MASHED POTATOES?? WERE S O BLAND????? AFAJSTSTHJST ily but girl. Just a little salt could have gone a long way <3 the steak and especially the green bean casserole were good tho :) dinner was good with the sparkling juice and little desert. Overall everything was just very loud, but that’s to be expected when this is everyone’s first time seeing each other in a goddamn while: actually I think they’ve all seen each other at school without me but hey whatever. I think I fucked up my phone screen on accident by sitting on it while it was in my pocket with my keys, leaving a spiderweb crack in it. I checked and yeah it’s not just the screen protector :( eh I don’t care that much, It didn’t fuck up the lcd screen or anything. We went up to Sam’s room and hung out and talked while she did Liz’s makeup and took pictures, and I borrowed a little of her concealer before photos. There was a little photo shoot in their front yard, and looking at the photos I look a little fat in them but I LOVE all the photos taken in Sam’s room where we were all just hanging out. Idk why but whenever you have to do photos and they say to do a silly one, it never turns out good, but the fun ones you casually take always turn out way better. They’re more genuine :) but then it was time for everyone to go to prom and for me to go home 😔 we only hung out for like an hour and a half. I didn’t want to take off my dress, seeing as I put in so much effort to sew the whole dress and shave and look pretty, so I wore it around the house for a bit until I got tired and went to lay in bed. I watched the mitchels vs the machines, which is a fuckin DELIGHTFUL movie!! Everybody go watch it it’s so cute <3 I also played some Pokémon and watched a little YouTube in bed, but feeling unfulfilled and wanting to do something different, I just didn’t know what. So instead I started typing this up as my sister brought me a cupcake from prom :) I had a bite and put the rest in the fridge, since it was so big and in a plastic container. I texted a friend over Snapchat asking if they had fun at prom, and they said it was kinda ass. I tried relating and saying yeah all school dances are a little ass, and my friend group once had anti prom and played dnd instead, but they just said ‘that’s nice’ back and idk if that means they’re annoyed at me or they’re just tired and didn’t wanna text or what but :( idk. Either way it’s fine, right now all I care about is going to bed. Gnight I guess. Also I keep thinking about that textpost that’s like “diary of icarly” and she talks in these simple-ass sentences and now I feel self conscious about how I write these snafnfs. I already know I write like a child in these, but that’s just because I don’t wanna go through the effort of making this sound nice and professional every day lmao. So child writing it is. Also painted my nails really horribly and it took forever to clean up which made me late

Woke up, went to work, spent a little time stocking, watered indoor plants, then attempting to work the register, and organized plants the rest of the time. I stood behind one of my coworkers as she checked people out, kind of understanding what she was doing but not that much, and read the manual in down periods. She had me check out a couple people, and it was NERVE WRACKING AS HELL. Thankfully everyone was very nice, and my coworker stood by and helped, and right as I was getting my foothold, my boss called for me to work outside and bring in the new shipment of plants. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT WAS REALLY NICE?? I was actually able to help some people today!! :D I’m slowly getting better at my job which is nice :) originally I was only gonna work 4 hours, but there were more plants to get and I felt like I could keep going, so I ended up working 6 instead. Every time I come home from the end of my shift I feel bad for not working more and like I should have stayed longer. Tbh I think I could do it if I had a proper break! I’ve been doing 4 hour shifts with maybe a water break in the middle because i don’t know how to ask to go on break ;-; Ike my secondary boss in the garden center is super nice and approachable and friendly but the main boss is like. Terrifying. I never know when he’s joking or being serious and I don’t understand him and assffsfamms it SUCKS. But whatever, I went home and ate some Mac n cheese and laid in bed because my back hurt and played on my ds for the rest of the night. I tried a couple new games, none of which I spent very long on. I tried okami den where you’re the wolf puppy child of the precious games protagonist I think, and idk maybe I’ll give it a better try in the future, but I wasn’t feelin it. I spent like 30 minutes on a pro bass fishing simulator and couldn’t clear the first level because the fish wouldn’t get close enough to my boat lmao. Sonic and Mario at the Olympic Games was fun until I lost at table tennis to Mario. I’d play it again. But I have work again tomorrow so I gotta go to bed good night. Having to blast my fan and play drawfee on my phone to drown out moms tv again >:(

Ate a pbj for breakfast? Went to work, moved plants around, took my lunch break, went to subway with an expired coupon, ate at home and times it perfectly so I could watch one section of the new drawfee episode, went back to work, made myself sad thinking about the god girl homunculus from fullmetal alchemist, picked dead flowers off the petunias, left a little early, hung out at home, left to go get mom’s medicine, found my dad at the store, followed him around and shopped for a bit, can home to unload everything, talked with him about buying one of the cars from him so it would be under mom’s insurance after the divorce, talked about being able to hang out at dads apparent after we help him move, ate some of the stuff we bought, and now I’m hanging out in bed again. I picked up my Pokémon black save and played a while today which was nice. I think I’m gonna work more in the next few days, be really busy with shit for like a week, and finally have a breather after the 15th. I really need to switch brain gears back into college stuff soon so I can sign up for orientation and figure out finances and shit, but for now it’s midnight and I don’t have to think about it lol

Today was pretty good, but also pretty boring. I played Pokémon all day since I didn’t have work, cooked some hamburger meat, and went on an errand for mom but got the wrong thing so I went out later to buy the right thing. I got spicy chicharrones instead of regular ones oops. On my drive back from getting the right thing, I rolled all my windows down and loved the feeling of driving around right after sunset when the weather was nice but cool, especially after standing in mom’s loud-ass room trying to ask about her bank card. I thought about going back out to aimlessly drive around the park and back, but instead hung out in my kitchen as my cat fell asleep on my lap. I think I’m gonna get paid tomorrow, so that’s exciting :D I probably made a solid couple hundred dollars if I had to guess. Idk what I’m getting paid per hour, but it’s probably ~$10 and I COULD go through my texts again to see how much I’ve worked, but I don’t really wanna lmao. I should just start putting that in my notes app instead...

Just had probably the most involved, longest dream ever?? It was a mix of infinity train and dangenrompa, we were mostly stuck inside my house, one boy left for years to search for supplies, I tried biking along a tail that disappeared into tree roots and a ditch with grass, cried because we had been in the same car for so long I was afraid they were gonna make us kill someone to get past, and at the end we escaped or something and had to fuck up security cameras and get past loopholes and lots of cereal boxes were involved? Idk there’s just so much I don’t remember. I wasn't sure if I had to go to work today, so I sent my boss a text and just kinda hung out. was making hamburger meat for my mom when my boss called asking me to come in, so I took a shower and worked from 1-5. spent some time at the register, and got way better at checking stuff out :) I learned a couple things, and there was one old lady in particular who was very patient and nice to me while my coworker went to go find a smaller bag of birdseed. when it stopped being busy inside, I went ut to the garden center to help price plants and spent the rest of my shift out there. I got paid too! $9 an hour, 22 hours, $200 in total. hell yeah. not bad, although I literally have no frame of reference on if this Is good or not. after work I went home for a second, then got Hardee’s (or carls jr in the western states). I used a coupon for chicken tenders for me and my sister :) and while I was driving around today, I found myself wishing that everything in life could be as smooth and easy as driving my car through my neighborhood. and then I kinda laughed thinking about how I cried my first time driving on a major road asdjfasjdhf. but seriously I love driving my dad’s silver Volvo!! its so comfy with 4 wheel drive and good petal control, its like always driving on freshly paved roads <3 unfortunately that's the car my dad is taking when he moves into his apartment to use as his full time car instead of his shit-ass blue Volvo, and we’re gonna be stuck with the red Volvo with a really touchy gas pedal and slow break pedal. (idk if you've noticed but we really love old Volvos in this family. they’re all old and boxy as hell and I love em <3 ) then I played Pokemon black and beat the elite 4 and champion in one try with a lot of revives lmao. I was kinda underleveled, right at 48-50 range, same as them. I was angry about stuff and in pain earlier in the shower as I washed my hair, but I dont remember exactly what it was. now I have my soft Spotify playlist going so I can maybe go to sleep soon. oh wait I remember being angry that all I could thin about all day was work, even tho it only takes up a few hours of my day, and then I do nothing all day afterwards. idk it’s just weird.

#thanks for coming to my ted talk #April 2021 daily #may 2021 daily #2021 daily

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insarations · 6 years

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random questions just cause...hereeell we go

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? *chuckles* yup

2. You talked to an ex today, correct? yes

3. Have you taken someones virginity? ya

4. Is trust a big issue for you? no in fact I trust people way too much

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? don't really like anyone atm

6. What are you excited for? hmm idk really. I guess my week off of work in a few weeks

7. What happened tonight? not much, just chilling, rainy day

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? ehh..idk it's just not my thing. but I wouldn't call it "disgusting"..if that's fun for them then cool

9. Is confidence cute? for sure, just not tooo much..fine line there

10. What is the last beverage you had? water and an iced vanilla latte

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? hmm. not any really besides my dad

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? yes a couple

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? I'm not sure yet. Probably go somewhere with a friend or see a movie

14. What are you going to spend money on next? probably either food or coffee

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? no

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? not significantly but I feel like I'm always changing in some way, even if it's gradual

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? not gonna put a name but one of my best friends

18. The last time you felt broken? that's hard to answer cause like i still do, i have for a while now but I mean it's not as bad as it was. about a year ago

19. Have you had sex today? sadly no lol

20. Are you starting to realize anything? a lot of things every second of every day. adulthood has a lot of fucking wake up calls

21. Are you in a good mood? not necessarily in a good mood but i'm not really in a bad mood either..it's just kinda like meh lol

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? hmm.... maybeee... depends

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? no. his is brown, mine are blue

24. What do you want right this second? not to have to go to work tomorrow XD and idk maybe a good ol makeout session and/or cuddles

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? uhhh well like if i were in a relationship with them then wtf, no no lol not good. but like if it was someone i'm not together with then...cool, do whatever the hell you want

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? pretty much

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? noo.. like i mean they don't gotta be some sorta jokester/comedian or nothing but just..don't be so serious. laughing is the best

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? probably one of my cats lol

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? always do

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? for the most part. but idk...I don't think I could give someone who cheated another chance. that's just crossing a line of trust that like..I could forive but I wouldn't be able to be with them again. I just don't understand anyone who cheats

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? that would be my dad so no XD

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? hmm hard to answer. but I suppose she does

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? nooo I love soda. with that said though, since the beginning of the year i've cut back on it alottttt for my health. but i still drink it maybe once a week. i used to drink it literally every day multiple times a day.

34. Listening to? currently juice WRLD

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? sometimes at work but not often

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? yup

37. Do you believe in love at first sight? yes and no. i hate that question, it's old lets move on lol

38. Who did you last call? i cant remember, probably one of my parents. i dont talk on the phone much

39. Who was the last person you danced with? I dont dance really except in the car with my friends..our own version of dancing XD

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? cause she was my girlfriend. girlfriends do that lol

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? a few weeks ago i think

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? no..we don't hug often really lol we're just not that way but i do hug my mom every now and then

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? probably a million times

44. Do you tan in the nude? noooooooo. i burn so easy i'd probably turn into one giant tomato

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? never

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? nah :/ I miss that

47. Who was the last person to call you? a million car sales people cause i'm stupid and entered info on a website and now it's like the neverending fucking story of sales people calling me like heyyyy buy a jeep and its like yes mam id love to but i'm poor so how about not right now stop calling me thank you bye

48. Do you sing in the shower? heck ya. except not really lately cause i shower at the gym...they don't wanna hear that XD

49. Do you dance in the car? yasss

50. Ever used a bow and arrow? yes, I did archery at camp as a kid. fun times

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? 10th grade highschool photo. or if it counts, my aunt took my graduation photos..she perty professional

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? there definitely can be cheesy ones but those are usually the ones i love XD

53. Is Christmas stressful? these days yes -_- never as a kid. I miss those days

54. Ever eat a pierogi? I don't think I have actually

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? not a huge fruit pie person but I guess...apple or lemon. I really don't eat fruit pie though. If it's gonna be pie then I prefer something like chocolate or peanut butter

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? so many different things, that's why i never settled on anything XD

57. Do you believe in ghosts? I think so..in a certain way.. like not in the way they show on tv and movies. just idk, i do believe in spirits. There's some stories in my family they are kinda hard not to believe or explain

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? allllll the time

59. Take a vitamin daily? nah, probably should ?

60. Wear slippers? not anymore, I used to alot

61. Wear a bath robe? same as above. I get way too hot for that now lol

62. What do you wear to bed? usually just shorts or boxers and a tank top or tshirt. sometimes sweatpants dependning

63. First concert? reba mcentire lol

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? target. walmart for certain things. but target is just fun

65. Nike or Adidas? neither really but adidas if i have to pick

66. Cheetos Or Fritos? cheetos

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? I like both, but peanuts

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? back in the day, crazier. then it was blank space or shake it off...but recently, delicate. many different taylor eras XD

69. Ever take dance lessons? when I was in elementary school and 6th grade yes

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? umm hmm honestly no. whatever makes them happy :)

71. Can you curl your tongue? nah, i dont got nothing special like that XD

72. Ever won a spelling bee? nahh

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? yesss

74. What is your favorite book? several...looking for alaska by john greene, the pawn series by robin roseau, and look again by lisa scottoline

75. Do you study better with or without music? havent studied in so long O_o but probably with

76. Regularly burn incense? not regularly. I do from time to time but not as much anymore, my mom hates it lol

77. Ever been in love? yes

78. Who would you like to see in concert? so many... fleetwood mac or just stevie nicks, ben howard, maroon 5, pvris, ariana grande, lana del rey, the weeknd, pink, coldplay, imagine dragons lady gaga, andrew belle, adele, lorde, gwen stefani even though I already did lol...i could go on all day. bottom line, i need to see more concerts

79. What was the last concert you saw? Gwen Stefani a couple years ago

80. Hot tea or cold tea? cold

81. Tea or coffee? coffee

82. Favorite type of cookie? alllllll the cookies. lately m&m. but chocolate chip is always a winner

83. Can you swim well? yes

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? nahh

85. Are you patient? yes and no. depends on the setting and circumstance lol. I think I'm fairly patient compared to other people but sometimes at work..if the right people push my buttons then oohhh boyyy no

86. DJ or band, at a wedding? hmm.. neither honestly just put on the damn ipod playlist XD

87. Ever won a contest? a couple when I was little lol

88. Ever have plastic surgery? noo. no thank you

89. Which are better black or green olives? greeeeeen

90. Opinions on sex before marriage? go for it. I used to think alot differently when I was younger cause I'm a christian, grew up with traditional values. but *sighs*... things change lol sex is great, go for it but be safe people XD

91. Best room for a fireplace? ANY ROOM. omggg. they should have fireplaces in the bathroom. what a great idea you can just warm yourself while you sitting there haha genius

92. Do you want to get married? If I meet the right person but if I don't ever get married that's fine too lol it's not a priority for me really but if I do meet the right person then for sure

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