#I hated the old design I did and since I started taking this hobby of mine a bit too seriously I started watching tutorials and yeah

[numbbrainstrorm]

I'm hoping on Tumblr to just finish projects I started and never finished

Anyways Mr. Screamers partner in crime the I.

Bit of his backstory under the cut

Sky Warp ( SW)

The second in command of the second in command ( lol)

His thinner built is great for flexibility and agility

He has quite an explosive personality and does hold grudges very well

Nobody can escape his wrath and that coused few death on the decepticons side

But he does have a funny side to him

Being the joker in the decepticon hierarchy

Even making Megatron laugh

He also poses THE death stare that makes even shockwave shiver in his frame

He received his "battle scars" by Hound throwing a Starscream size shredder while he tried to Vortex out of his reach

Unfortunately Houd was faster and when he have thrown The shredder in the Vortex SW

Got stuck with it in the "Middle ground" and suffered quite a damage to his frame

Completely shredding off his left side

And doing a serious damage to his right side of this frame and his processor

Lucky for him ( unlucky for autobots) the damages were reperable and he asked knockout if he could actually keep some of his "wounds" claiming that younger mechs have more respect for beaten up mech ( he was barely responsive while saying that)

"His damage could've been prevented by having a proper armor and not flying around half naked on a battle field" - Knockout to Starscream

Anyways thank you for reading my non grammar nonsense ( I can't bring myself to write more bc Impostor syndrome and nobody caring)

🦐💛

And the whole thing

[hanako-kozume]

Fake it till you Make it - SakuAtsu | Chapter 03

Chapter Summary: Atsumu makes a plan on how best to annoy Sakusa's parents.

He meets the spiker's mother and it seems to be working perfectly. She hates him.

Chapter Warnings: Implied Homophobia

Video/Podfic/Audiobook version:

Chapter 03: Dress-up

They got ready to leave around early noon. It surprised Atsumu since the location Sakusa had given him was a fair distance away and he knew that if it could be avoided the spiker hated being late. This time however he seemed to almost purposefully stall.

"Well, I best get ready so that we can leave whenever," the blonde announced as he got up.

The ace barely acknowledged it and just gave a short hum. Atsumu couldn't tell whether he had actually heard him or not and simply ventured out to find the bathroom, his bag in hand.

The setter was by no means an expert in style and fashion but he did take a mild interest in trying various things to wear and experimenting with his outfits.

For this trip, he had a plan. Every day he'd wear something a little bit more outrageous in the eyes of someone with an old-fashioned mindset.

Starting with something basic, and classic but with a modern touch and the potential to become a thrust trap if he would post it on his Instagram in the right light and pose.

He put on black pants that were made from a light airy fabric, with subtle pockets, floating just the right amount of loosely around his legs.

They got wider toward the bottom adding a slight flamboyant touch. Nothing too provocative.

The trick of this outfit was the sweater. It was a black turtle neck and a very tight fit. It was something Sakusa would wear sometimes as well just that his weren't meant to show off as much of his figure as Atsumu's did.

The likeness was intentional to present them as a couple from the very start, a milder version of the pyjamas in a way.

To top it all off he added the kind of accessories he saved for photo shoots and to show off at fancy events. Flashy earnings that were simple in design but not nearly as subtle as a simple ring. And certainly, he would be doomed if he'd only have one piercing per ear.

The setter grinned at himself as he looked at his reflection. He wore black fidget rings on both hands and with a few quick movements added a subtle, straight, black eyeliner to the final picture.

Perfect.

He was fairly pleased with himself and grinned from ear to ear knowing that this was just the beginning. The truth was Omi was right, pissing off conservative assholes was one of his favourite hobbies.

He probably would have done him the favour even without anything in return yet he couldn't let him win so easily.

Besides, he had the feeling that Omi preferred it this way if the relationship was purely transactional for the time being.

Atsumu didn't know how to feel about that.

Personally, he thought the deal was perfect. Sakusa was a friend, even if a very grumpy one at that, his teammate and attractive too so flirting with him for the sake of annoying his parents would be a piece of cake. After all, he had plenty of practice from teasing him at interviews or sponsor events.

He was just a bit wary of how the ace felt about it.

He bit his lip, chewing on it, forgetting that he had the fidget rings to avoid such behaviour.

Sakusa often felt uncomfortable around others and Atsumu wasn't exactly known to be easy company, that much was sure.

He sighed again, shouldered his bag, and went to see if Sakusa was ready to go.

The dark eyes of the spiker zeroed in on him as soon as he set for into the living room again. His expression shifted from shocked to a scowl that Atsumu couldn't quite read.

"What? Jealous that I look absolutely stunning or just speechless?" he teased with his usual charm, and as usual got no decent reply as the other turned away.

"I'll prepare as well. We can leave in about 15 minutes."

"Fine by me."

He didn't know yet how this would play out or how his family would react. He felt fairly prepared for this and confident in his abilities but in all honesty, it felt a bit like he was walking into a forest blindfolded, constantly wary of the possibility of walking into a tree.

He knew close to nothing about the spiker let alone his family. All that he was aware of were their outdated ideas and apparently ignorant and mean-spirited attempts to scare people away. He knew that they were fairly wealthy and that's it.

Sakusa had a sister and a brother. He hadn't said my h about them so Atsumu assumed they either weren't coming or weren't the problem. He knew that Komori would attend but wasn't sure about his parents.

In the end, it was barely enough to guess.

Sakusa mentioned his strict upbringing only briefly but Atsumu had a slight inkling that as soon as he'd crossed the doorstep he'd have broken already ten rules yet when he asked him about it Sakusa said not to worry, that was the idea. After all, he wanted them to be bothered and not to earn their respect.

He was right, of course...

-------------

"Omi... This is not a house."

Sakusa glanced at him from the side, his hands clenched into fists and hidden inside the pockets of his dark coat. His dark eyes were vigilant and cold as he followed Atsumu's gaze. The closer they got to the house of his parents the more his tension had grown.

"This is a mansion! You told me your parents were wealthy, not rich enough to buy me and my whole family!" the setter complained.

Sakusa rolled his eyes.

"You're exaggerating."

"Hardly." he insisted.

"Is this a problem?" Sakusa asked.

There was a ting of nervousness adding to the already wild storm inside him. Would Atsumu back out now? Didn't he want to do this anymore?

He gulped. Sakusa didn't know how to feel about it if Atsumu would cancel the plan now. He wouldn't blame him. It was probably better if he didn't drag Atsumu down with him. He shouldn't have to endure—

The setter's boisterous laugh made Sakusa jump as the blonde suddenly seemed ecstatic. Did he become mad?

He looked at him in horror.

"This is gonna be more interesting than anticipated. Let's go, Omi!"

Atsumu grinned widely. Sakusa was stunned as he observed the mischievous glint in his eyes. He couldn't understand how Atsumu wasn't terrified when he was practically paralyzed by fear. Maybe he truly was mad.

"Oh, uh can I touch you? Don't worry I showered, I won't touch your skin, and I'll back off as soon as we're out of sight."

He nodded slowly but couldn't help but flinch when Atsumu's arm wrapped around his. His touch was gentle and careful. He made sure to keep a certain distance between them while looking as close as possible.

The front door opened revealing a lavish hallway and one of the housekeepers Sakusa had known for years. They were friendly and always made sure to gift him sweets when his parents treated him harshly. Now they looked at him and Atsumu with curiosity in their eyes and a smile spreading on their face.

The words of congratulations were already on their lips when the voice of his mother echoed through the room. She rushed over from the living room at the sound of the door, thrilled to see her son. If only this excitement would last when she saw them.

But of course, it didn't. Her eyes fell on Atsumu and the smile turned into a scowl. There was so much judgment in her eyes she didn't need to say a single word to convey how she felt about this but of course, she wasn't nice enough to grant them her silence.

"I didn't know you'd bring guests Kiyoomi."

She conveniently forgot that he told her of course.

Her voice resembled an icy blade as if she intended to cut the connection between them this instant. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked Atsumu up and down, lingering at the makeup and earrings, and pressing her lips tighter together with everything she didn't approve of.

"Mother, this is Miya Atsumu, my boyfriend. I hope you will welcome him since he's part of the family now," he replied equally as coldly.

"Not sure, I would say it like that."

She was never subtle about her disdain but the mask dropped incredibly can't today. No more games of pretend.

Was it the warning in Sakusa's voice that made her react that way? An attempt to show him that no she would not accept him no matter what or even so much as treat him nicely?

Or was it Atsumu himself? who admittedly dressed much more provocatively than anyone he brought home before.

"Oh of course, how thoughtless of me. I haven't even introduced myself. As Omi said I'm Miya Atsumu but please call me Atsumu. I have a twin and am used to it to avoid confusion," Atsumu chimed in as if oblivious to the tension.

First name, so informal. They would hate it.

Internally Sakusa smiled watching his mother getting increasingly more uncomfortable by nothing but Atsumu's presence.

She practically flinched as he addressed him with his typical nickname and for the first time, Sakusa was willing to admit that he liked it.

"Anyways, it is so nice to meet ya Sakusa-san."

He laid on the dialect heavily and extended a hand which she ignored. Aside from looking at him as though he was a dead rodent their cat had left in front of her feet she didn't acknowledge him at all.

"So how long will your... friend be staying, Kiyoomi?"

"Boyfriend." Sakusa corrected. "And he'll stay as long as I do. If you have a problem with that we'll leave this instance."

"Don't be like that baby. I want to get to know yer family," the setter cooed softly, then he turned to his mother again.

"He keeps everything about you such a mystery I guess he was always like that, wasn't he?"

She took a deep breath to calm herself before looking at Sakusa with pleading eyes.

"Does it really have to be like this? I prepared—"

"It does," Sakusa insisted.

His eyes narrowed and he almost wished she'd just sent them away so they could return home and forget about this whole thing but of course, she wouldn't. The preparations had taken too much time and she wanted him there and most importantly she couldn't convince him to break up with Atsumu if they left now.

"Your father will not approve of this."

"He'll survive it."

For a moment, they still battled each other in a staring contest before she sighed heavily and stepped aside.

"Fine then," she spat out. " Go inside and get settled. Your friend looks strong, why doesn't he bring your luggage to your rooms?"

"Room, we only need one. And why make him do it when usually this is done by the attendants?"

Every day here would be a battle and she wasn't willing to give in even an inch.

His mother was getting flustered in her rage and was about to spew some nonsensical argument at them when Atsumu saw the perfect opportunity to dig his grave just a little deeper.

"That's no problem, Darling. After all, I know how much you love watching when I use my muscles."

He winked at him and Sakusa was certain his cheeks never had changed colours from pale white to red so quickly. He almost choked on air but got hold of himself just in time. His mother had no such composure and quickly called over an attendant to handle their stuff.

"Thank you, Mother," he said as nonchalantly as possible while Atsumu feigned sadness at the lost opportunity but willingly let Sakusa guide him inside and upstairs.

-----------

The room he led him to was odd. Clean and white almost sterile looking, with little decor and only the occasional spots of colour.

"Omi if yer gonna tell me that this used to be your childhood bedroom I'm gonna weep. It's sad."

The taller looked at him unimpressed. He thanked the attendants for making such quick work of their luggage before turning to Atsumu again.

"It's not. I have no room in this house anymore. This is just a guest room I use when being forced to spend the night here," he explained.

Atsumu looked confused as he let himself fall onto the ned. The only bed. Sakusa tried not to think about what that implied.

"Then where is yer childhood bedroom? Surely ya had one. They didn't let ya sleep on the floor, did they?! Because that'd be—"

"Yes, I had one." he cut off his ramblings.

"It was cleared the day I came out. They disowned me for a week and decided since they didn't have their youngest son anymore there was no reason to keep my stuff. It was all thrown away."

"That's... awful."

It was the first time he heard Atsumu speak so quietly almost softly. He just shrugged his shoulder. It's not like this was a secret but since he never talked much with anyone especially not about his family it might as well have been one. Talking about it with Atsumu now felt... different.

"I got them back for it," he continued. "The week they kicked me out I went couch surfing with my best friend at the time. We fucked every chance we got so if at all they have driven me right into his arms."

Atsumu burst out laughing.

"That's hilarious. But please tell me he was in on it."

"He was... after the first time. I didn't want to use him like that. Still, I'm not proud of it. After a while, he asked for something more serious and I turned him down. We weren't friends after that anymore."

Why was he telling him this? This part certainly felt like it should be a secret yet he talked so freely when it was just Atsumu with him as though...

As though what? As though he could trust him?

"What a jerk!" Atsumu huffed.

Sakusa rolled his eyes at the setter's childish way of thinking.

"He wasn't. It was my fault. We could have been friends for longer if I hadn't opened that door and allowed him to catch feelings."

Atsumu stared at him dumbfounded.

"And here I thought you were supposed to be yeh smart one. Omi, you act as though catching feeling worked like a cold and you coughed at him."

Sakusa flinched.

"Sorry, bad analogy. All I'm saying is that I never thought you'd be stupid enough to blame yerself for how someone else feels. Ya always seem so aloof. So above everyone."

Sakusa didn't know what to reply to that and simply turned away.

"Shut up, Miya."

Atsumu clicked his tongue.

"Aw, you like me, admitted!" he teased.

Sakusa ignored him.

"Dinner is ready in a few hours. If you don't mind let's stay here for now. Keeping up the whole lovers' act is going to be exhausting enough later."

Atsumu sighed but agreed, his eyes strayed to the ceiling and he stared at something in the distance that Sakusa couldn't see. Was he already regretting his decision to come here? The worst hadn't even started...

He quickly got up before he could overthink it too much.

"I'll quickly take a shower. There is a bathroom connected to this room and another down the hall."

"I'll take the one down the hall then," Atsumu replied and got up swiftly, without Sakusa having to say anything.

He grabbed his shower products, a set of new clothes and of course, makeup. He was going to have fun with this.

[sublimenol]

Sonic OC Questionnaire time!

Since the @sonic-oc-showdown is starting up soon I thought I should do something to write up a bit more about my OC Deirdre. Shoutout to @bunnymajo and @nintendoni-art for bringing this easy to chew set of questions to my attention. Art here is done by the always wonderful @bunniibones.

✨- How did you come up with the OC’s name?

Short answer, it's a pun. Long answer is that I was playing around with the way naming conventions seem to exist in Sonic where you have Word-the-Animal but also some characters have "proper" names, but tend to be playfully named. Sally Acorn, Bunny Rabbot and such. Deirdre was made with a bit more of Archie in mind at the time and as such she was dubbed Deirdre Whitetail. Since she's a deer.

🌼 - How old are they? (Or approximate age range)

I'm always leery of specific age when it comes to these characters given the overall aesthetic is fairly neotenic. She is intended to be a young adult though. Experienced enough to have gone through a few troubles and to set out on her own, but she's yet to be worn down much. So probably an early 20s.

🌺- Do they have any love interest(s)?

She currently does not have any love interests in any official capacity. At one time a friend was considering a roboticized one but that never got beyond the idea phase and isn't really "canon" for any value of the term.

🍕 - What is their favorite food?

Cocoa. Deirdre takes her hot chocolate very seriously. She sticks to the finest ingredients. Particularly in her own dried and crushed chili that she uses to add heat to the sweet.

💼 - What do they do for a living?

She considers herself a modern knight errant. Her family is old nobility that hold no real application in the modern world but she still holds herself to noblesse oblige. As she doesn't have any skills she considers worthwhile besides physical conflict, she works for the Restoration in trying to put a stop to the seemingly endless problems in Sonic's world. Especially if she can whack a badnik with an axe.

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?

She's yet to really find any hobby. She's trying to break out of keeping herself busy through self appointed responsibilities.

🎯 -What do they do best?

She's a fighter and that's what she does best. She was raised with the fantasy of knights in heroes and that's been what she's put her all into becoming.

🥊 -What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?

She absolutely loves the moment of conflict. The world is simpler and more direct then. She can lead and she can put everything into fight. Directing allies, protecting allies, swinging an axe through a robot, all of that is where she feels most alive.

She really hates social situations. She loves other people and she enjoys being around them, she is just woefully outclassed when it comes to things like parties and gatherings. She tends to default to being silent, aloof and posing gracefully to carry through the fact she's screaming internally about looking like an idiot.

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

During the Resistance Era against the Eggman Empire, where she was surrounded by others trying to get by. The hope and comradery she felt during the conflict was the closest she's felt to comfort, despite the physical dangers.

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

Metal Virus. She discovered early that a weapon was of no use. She was not infected, but forced to flee to her mountainside home. There she lived with the ghosts of her failure and perceived cowardice as she hunkered alone in a big empty house knowing there was nothing she could do to help anyone.

🧊 - Is their current design the first one?

Yes, she hasn't changed much except her hair has gone from lilac to a more pinkish color. And before she was a deer she was almost a fisher cat.

Story wise she has gone from a more Archie era character to one that's more set in a slightly AU take on the IDW series.

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

A friend wanted to do some RP and at the time I had no Sonic OCs to do anything with. So I sort of cobbled some stuff together from things I remembered from the mid 90s comics and cartoons.

🌂 - What genre do they belong in?

She is firmly in the Action genre. Fairly Shonen too with the bouts of melodrama and emotions.

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

She is female. Sexuality is not fully defined. Biromantic Asexual is probably the most likely.

🙌 - How many sibling does your OC have?

She is but an only babby. A lonely only babby.

🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like?

They are fine, but very independent and professional. It appears cold on the surface but they do love and respect each other deeply.

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

Honestly because she's kind of a brainworm. She really should have just been one a million discarded one off RP characters and not have clawed her way back again and again when I've wavered on the Sonic fandom in general.

✏️ - How often do you draw/write about the OC?

Nerve issues have kept drawing off the table for me on a regular basis. I should write more, and love creating things for her, but I usually don't write because I figure no one wants to know much about OCs

💎 - Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC?

Probably not. There's just always more story to tell.

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

Nothing so overt or direct. Mostly existential fears related to her utility to the world and her past failures.

🍩 -Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?

Most of her antagonists aren't "arch-nemesis or rival" levels. So I'm going to say no to this. There just hasn't been quite that emotional tie to any of them to make them something other than enemies at cross-purposes.

🎓 - How long have you had the OC?

Probably since around 2015 or 16 in concept and off hand use in RP. She has only been formally designed and really made solid in the last 5 or 6 years though.

[scorpiolight-madd]

A fun lil propaganda post for Blossom, who’s participating in @sonic-oc-showdown! Also functions as a sort of introduction, for those who don’t know her ^_^

If you have any questions about her please don’t hesitate to ask! I would die for you if you did 🩵

And, here’s a playlist! (still a WIP, but being actively worked on!)

Questionnaire under the cut! (And more art, though her design in some of them is outdated 😔)

✨- How did you come up with the OC’s name?

She’s gone through a few name changes, first Tikki (a random name I came up with while taking out the trash, then i found out there was a Miraculous Ladybug character with that name (pronounced differently, but still) and I decided to change it), then it was Starburst for a little while, but that still didn’t fit, so I finally settled on Blossom!

🌼 - How old are they? (Or approximate age range)

14!

🌺- Do they have any love interest(s)?

SHADOWWWWW

They are my OTP I love them sosososososo much!!!!!!!

Also, a recent official merch of Shadow released where he’s wearing a jacket with cherry blossoms and is surrounded by cherry blossoms and I LOST MY MIND

🍕 - What is their favorite food?

I always gave her a very summery vibe, so probably something like popsicles or lemonade or something like that! I also like to think cherry-flavored, to relate back to her name ^_^

💼 - What do they do for a living?

Well, she doesn’t really have a job. She’s an adventurer! She got a taste for it during the events of Sonic Forces, and hasn’t stopped since. Although, I’d like to think she did some kind of sport before the war, maybe water polo or volleyball (again, tying into her summer motif)

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?

Pre-Forces, her interests mainly revolve around the beach. Swimming, surfing, volleyball, etc. During the war, she gets SUPER into Wispon tech, starting out with upgrading her own Blue Hammer Wispon, and eventually making some her own.

She later gets into Extreme Gear, too, sort of relating it back to her love of surfing.

🎯 -What do they do best?

When she’s at her best and in her element, she’s extremely silver-tongued. She’s clever and quick on her feet when it comes to people, and able to talk circles around people. (This aspect of her character was inspired by Ferris Bueller)

However, when she’s not at her best and in her element, she turns into a nervous wreck, barely even able to speak through her nerves. Not to mention, Sonic and all his friends usually deal with badniks, so half the time that skill of hers is pretty much useless.

🥊 -What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?

Blossom is pretty sporty, and likes to stay active.

She likes being around her friends, but can drain her social battery with her constant analyzing of social situations.

She also likes to work on and upgrade her equipment, like her Wispons and Extreme Gear. While she’s not as much of a techie as, say, Tails, she spent a lot of time during the war in the rebel headquarters workshop (where she had her first bonding moment with Shadow, while he was in fixing his bike).

As for stuff she hates to do, UHHHHH. I’m gonna be real I haven’t thought of anything specific yet RIP 😔 Although, I do think that whatever she DOES hate doing, she’ll never admit. She’s a bit aggressively positive, and has gotten it into her head that if she shows any sort of negativity around her friends, then they won’t like her anymore. Positivity’s all she’s good for, right? Right?

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

Probably something from before the war. She was super close with her older brother, Sun (who needs an UPDATED DESIGN AUGH), and would spend a lot of time with him before they were separated.

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

During the war (in my AU), she ends up being taken prisoner and semi-mind controlled by Infinite, and forced to fight Sonic and Shadow. They manage to snap her out of it, but she still carries the incident with her.

🧊 - Is their current design the first one?

Nope! She was originally made in the Sonic Forces character creator, and then I drew a modified version of it. It looks pretty different from her current design!

The first thing I ever decided for her design (outside of the character creator) was that she needed to be FLUFFY. The custom character from the game felt SO bald, i just knew I needed to give her a big hairstyle. Eventually the fluffiness was toned down to fit the more simplified Sonic style, but I hope she still comes across as pretty fluffy.

She was also meant to originally have a second design, that was supposed to happen after she and Sonic got trapped in Null Space, where she got permanently tinted purple (along with her eyes turning purple). She was also meant to develop void-based powers from it. That might still end up happening, but I’m not so sure about it anymore. I like her current warm color scheme, and I don’t actually know what her “void-based powers” would be.

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

Sonic Forces! She was just gonna be the rookie, no real modifications other than appearance, but I ended up getting so many story ideas it spawned a whole AU!

🌂 - What genre do they belong in?

Uhhh whatever gernre StH is. Fantasy/Sci-Fi/Adventure/Platformer? IDK lol

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

Ehhh, a bit unclear. Sometimes she’s a cis girl, she used to be a demigirl and SOMETIMES that pops up now and again but nowadays she’s usually cis. I’m pretty sure she’s bi, maybe pan? It switches around sometimes. For now I’m going cis girl, unlabeled sexuality.

🙌 - How many sibling does your OC have?

Just the one, her older brother Sun!

This ref of him is preeettyyyy outdated, I’ll have to make a new one sometime soon.

🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like?

I haven’t developed her parents much, and I’m unsure if she should even have any (in the context of the narrative, not saying she should be an orphan). It’s pretty rare for Sonic characters to have canon parents, and off the top of my head I can only think of two (not counting spinoffs like Archie or Sonic Underground). If she does have them, the only thing they’d really do in terms of the narrative is die at the start of the story, and Sun’s seeming death already serves that narrative function.

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

EVERYTHING. SHES MY BLORBO I LOVE HER LOVE HER LOVE HER. I really like her design, her story, her personality, her dynamic with the other characters, everything!!!!

✏️ - How often do you draw/write about the OC?

She’s my number two go-to character to draw, right behind Amy. I don’t write much, but I do daydream! And I daydream 99.9% of my day, and 99% of that is usually about Blossom.

💎 - Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC?

Teeeccchhhnicaly? In the context of the story, about 400 or so years in the future is when Silver and his family is from (in this AU his family consists of Shadow, Tails, and, after 06, Omega). In timelines where he’s met her and been in a relationship with her, Shadow usually remembers her dying hundreds of years ago, usually of old age. idk if that really counts as being killed off, though, as that far in the future, most of the main cast is dead.

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

Not any specific phobias, but she’s scared of big crowds, and sleeping in the dark. For specific reasons, but not ones she’d ever reveal.

🍩 -Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?

Infinite. He’s the main villain from the game, yeah, but I also ended up writing more inter-personal drama between the two (like the aforementioned mind-control thing). She HATES him.

🎓 - How long have you had the OC?

A little over a year now! I only got Sonic Forces last year, despite desperately wanting it since it came out.

🍥 - What age were you when you created the OC?

21!

[wubyreal]

Alright, now imagine that Liza caught a whole hog

Liza lore incoming

✨- How did you come up with the OC’s name?

Liza sounds nice. Nereida was suggested by @mitspeiler when I couldn't think of one. As a mermaid, nereid fits the aquatic theme.

🌼 - How old are they? (Or approximate age range)

Early 20s

🌺- Do they have any love interest(s)?

I can't think of one. It's a work in progress. So far Liza has only dated Marina. She finds Marina attractive and sees her beyond being a crazy bitch. Unfortunately Liza had a bit of an "I can fix her" moment. For now she is in love with her princess duty.

🍕 - What is their favorite food?

Sea chicken, shark, and calamari

💼 - What do they do for a living?

Up and coming crown princess, which means helping merfolk and maintaining a good relationship with them

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?

Swordfighting, motorbike joyrides, opera, and various competitive underwater sports

🎯 -What do they do best?

She is good at swordfighting, singing, and being a group leader

🥊 -What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?

She loves watching competitive professional sports, such as fencing, jousting, swimming, and wrestling. Liza is a bit of a fitness nut that enjoys training. As princess, she enjoys helping others. She hates when problems go out of control when doing princess duties or dealing with people that hate her guts when trying to help them

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

When her dad started teaching her how to swordfight

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

She did not enjoy taking down Marina and stabbing her eye out. It had to be done since she was out of control with evil, dangerous blood magic.

🧊 - Is their current design the first one?

No. Liza used to look vastly different as a blonde white woman with long hair. Her main color palette was originally green/brown instead of white/gold

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

She is based on Lucina from Fire Emblem for being a very dutiful princess that wields a legendary sword and is very close to her dad. Very hopeful and believes in change being possible no matter what. Also inspired by Sapphire from Princess Knight as a tomboyish swordfighter.

🌂 - What genre do they belong in?

High fantasy with gothic post-apocalyptic stuff. Her story is a grand sailing adventure.

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

Cis bi

🙌 - How many sibling does your OC have?

Her younger brother Derrick and younger sister Cassandra

🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like?

Liza and her parents are very close. Her dad is her biggest role model.

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

I like her design, her relationship with her family, and personal struggles. She deals with a lot of self inflicted problems assuming she has to do things alone and must be perfect.

✏️ - How often do you draw/write about the OC?

She's a very important main character. I don't think about her every single day because her solo story still needs a lot of work, and I've been drawing a blank. I draw and write when ideas start cooking.

💎 - Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC?

No. She is too plot armored up.

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

Scared of not living up to the Nereida royal name. She is burdened by her great-grandma's war crimes and works very hard to fix the family reputation among the merfolk populace.

🍩 -Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?

War for her manipulations. Marina for acting as War's pawn. Her classmate Edward.

🎓 - How long have you had the OC?

Since 2015

🍥 - What age were you when you created the OC?

18

[the-goblin-cat]

🐗 Ya girl Fimeko

Including Image since you and wes have done so for yours so far

✨- How did you come up with the OC’s name?

According to my research, it is an archaic form of the name Himiko, which means "noble lady." A friend of mine pointed out that Fi is not a sound that exists in modern Japanese; this suits me just fine as she is from an original setting based on ancient Japan.

🌼 - How old are they? (Or approximate age range)

Fimeko is a little older than Kotone. Neither of them know their real ages, but to actually answer your question, 21-23 at the start of the story.

🌺- Do they have any love interest(s)?

Fimeko's sort-of-husband Naranbaatar. She is a slave in the court of a nomad warlord and he one of his soldiers; Naranbaatar helps her take control of the camp. A real wife guy. They never formally marry but she declares him to be her husband afterward which is good enough.

🍕 - What is their favorite food?

I've been meaning to make up food lore for the Shattered Kingdoms so here we go. There are a number of grains eaten throughout the land that come in the seven colors of the rainbow. The blue one resembles rice and the yellow one resembles millet. They can be mixed together to make a gummy green dough which is rolled out and sliced into noodles. Fimeko enjoys a soup made with peppers native to the plains, bone broth, and these rough, handcut noodles.

💼 - What do they do for a living?

Fimeko was originally a musician. She has since broken her koto and become a warlord.

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?

Now that she's freed herself, Fimeko is taking up more traditionally masculine hobbies like horse archery and sowrdsmanship, because she believes violence is the answer. She still enjoys music, but has banned the koto from her court.

🎯🥊 -merging these

The thing she is unfortunately most talented at is playing the koto, which she hates. She loves to do violence and her husband.

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

If you asked her she would say it's beating Lord Bakuto to death with her koto, but in her heart it's the first day she and Naranbaatar stole a kiss in private behind the lord's tent.

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

In her youth before she learned to play well, she would be punished frequently, often through beatings with a switch. Bakuto did not want her hands harmed so usually the strikes targeted her legs and feet, as one can play the koto sitting down. (sometime after she got good enough that punishments were infrequent, she was made to play standing)

🧊 - Is their current design the first one?

Yes, sorta. When creating her I paid little attention to her outfit; you, chesca, designed that, as well as her makeup

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

Reading about Queen Himiko, one of Japan's legendary rulers (according to China. They may or may not have been talking about Empress Jingu). She was allegedly a sorceress who came to the throne through manipulation and assassination, surrounded herself with female attendants, save for one man, who fed and bathed her. She is associated with fire in a lot of modern pop culture that features her.

🌂 - What genre do they belong in?

Water Maiden is a high fantasy but it dips its toes into political fantasy. She would do well in either.

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

Genderwise, cis. For sexuality, I can only say that she likes men. I will have to play with her more to see if she also likes women romantically.

🙌 - How many sibling does your OC have?

None that she knows of.

🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like?

Fimeko does not remember her father. Her mother is a person she cared about but rarely saw due to their situation; two slaves with different duties, kept in separate quarters. Her mother died when she was very young.

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

I like the arc I have planned for her, of going from a person with nothing to becoming a dominant power in the setting, the old nobody to nightmare route.

✏️ - How often do you draw/write about the OC?

I have not written very much about her in the last little while, other than revising her origin story a couple years ago. But Water Maiden is always on my mind.

💎 - Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC?

She is probably not going to outlive the novel, heh.

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

No but she is triggered by koto music.

🍩 -Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?

Kotone, the protagonist of the novel. They haven't met yet, but sparks will fly. In the non-sexy way. Probably. They were designed to be foils of each other, a blue water girl and a red fire girl, one sad and the other wrathful, strong reasons to hate the world but very different reactions to their respective situations.

🎓 - How long have you had the OC?

I wanna say I came up with Water Maiden in 2016, so 8 years.

🍥 - What age were you when you created the OC?

I was most likely 23. I actually came up with the core water maiden concepts about a week before my 23rd birthday but fimeko came about a month after.

[krikeymate]

I have a weird idea I can't seem to get out of my head for some reason I'd though I'd share it with you. For the most part, people with mental illnesses are usually more creative or have more creative outlets, right? So what if when Sam left, she was on a mission to get better not just for herself but for Tara as well. She knew she needed help she started seeing things years ago, but Christina was no help. (She might have even thought it was a good thing because it made her like Billy. I can even imagine that after she found out, she started leaving her alcohol in plain sight to see if she would drink to quiet the voices like Billy did.) Thankfully, Deputy Hicks and Mrs. Meeks-Martin said they would look after Tara, and both told her to keep in touch and that they would be there if she needed them.

Sam struggled through getting sober and finding help for her mental health, but she managed to keep going. One of the things that she found she loved through it was art she loved escaping into different worlds anywhere that wasn't where she was. It helped her escape and forget how hard things where.

Someone notices her drawings and asks her if she could draw his dnd character or someone from a story he was working on she does because she's broke, and he said he would pay her. He loves it and posts it. A few other people ask for similar drawings. Eventually, she falls into a creative crowd that introduces her to a bunch of people working on different things. She learns to make illustrations for smaller indie media, and it's a nice hobby and way to make extra cash. One day, she gets a message from someone who said they say a few of her drawings and asked if she would be willing to make a few different covers for a story. Not thinking much of it, she said yes, next thing she's getting contacted by a large publisher asking to use one for the cover of a new book series. She ends up being asked to design more covers and illustrations from different publishers and can finally start saving up for when she went back home.

She becomes a popular freelance artist. Sam even has a few fans from a comic she worked on with friends. She uses the artist named Sam Soto since part of her is scared Christina would find her and ruin everything, and because her grandmother was her favorite person after Tara, so she used her last name to remember her. She's thankfully for that choice after all the theories start gaining traction.

Just before the attacks She was getting ready to reach out to Tara she finally felt stable and safe. Just needed to gather her courage and find the right moment. In the last 5 years, Sam learned that not everything she touched was going to get hurt or destroyed like she was always told she could also create things that where beutiful and made people happy.

Of course, after the GF attacks, Sam feels guilty. She almost lost her sister and the twins, and she did lose Wes and Judy Hicks. She threw herself at taking care of Tara, and when they moved to NY, she did make the smallest room and make it to her office/studio, and she didn't let anyone in. She found something that she loved that let her escape, but she had to leave Tara behind to find it. It made her afraid Tara would hate her art or think Sam was better off without her. What if she thought Sam was doing great and chose never to go back until she had to? How do you explain that she worked hard to get better for her but was to scared to go back when she did? It leads her to just brush off questions about the time she was gone, saying she just worked freelance and did some projects here and there.

Tara does hate it she knows Sam isn't being honest, but she's back she's here with her, and she promised never to leave again. After a fight, she storms into the studio and finds everything, even a print of a cover for the book she was reading, signed by Sam Soto. Looking around, the main thing that catches her eye is a framed drawing it's an old and worn-out drawing of her when she was younger. It's not as good as the rest of the drawing around the room, but you could tell it was the most well loved.

My friend this isn't a weird idea, this is LOVELY. I LOVE it, I LOVE you. I think saying "people with mental illnesses are usually more creative or have more creative outlets" is probably... not great, but I think you mean well. Happy to discuss that more in private if you message me off-anon (no judgement involved, I'll keep it all to myself, just wanna talk about it).

I think I've mentioned this before, but I 100% believe that when Sam left, she did it to recover - something she wouldn't be able to do in Woodsboro - and to get better, for herself and for her sister. The idea that Christina started leaving alcohol out to see if Sam would start drinking like she did is incredible, we all hate that woman, we only make her worse every time we talk about her.

Artist!Sam. Her using her grandmother's name as a pseudonym, being ready to reach out to her sister when life does it for her. All amazing. The way she learns through art that she is not destined for destruction, but that she can bring life and love into the world, heartbreaking.

The idea that Sam hides her art, terrified that Tara will hate her for leaving her and building this whole new world for herself is so so real. Because of course, what else could Tara think? Sam left and she made a name for herself and she found something that made her happy, because her sister just wasn't enough. And Sam only came back because Tara got hurt, because she felt guilty. Why wouldn't she assume that Sam was just going to stay away with her new name and her new life and her happiness? But Tara wants that for Sam, she wants her to be happy (she wishes she could have that for herself), so she feels guilty, because she's dragged Sam back into all this pain into her life and she's stuck here in New York looking after her fucked up little sister.

They're having an argument. Sam's trying to tell her she can't go to a party as if she has any say in what Tara can and can't do. "How am I supposed to focus on my work when I don't know where you are or whether you're safe," Sam screams at her. Tara screams back, "WHAT WORK SAM? YOU WON'T TELL ME ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT YOU DO BUT YOU EXPECT TO CONTROL EVERYTHING ABOUT MY LIFE."

The words cut at Sam deep. Because she's right. She won't tell Tara anything about her life, but she wants to know every part of hers. The truth hurts and she doesn't know what to say, how to react. She just turns and walks away back to her room. But Tara isn't done, she's too worked up, she storms after her, pushing the door open before Sam can close it.(A part of Sam wonders whether she wanted her to see. She's so much stronger, she could have held the door closed, she could have stopped her).

Tara takes in the room. The desk with the tablet and computer, the sketchbooks, the pens and the pencils, the canvases and the paints in one corner. She framed prints on the wall, the sketch of herself framed above Sam's bed. She takes it all in and thinks Sam didn't want to share this with me, and walks away, locking her door behind her.

She doesn't go to the party that night.

[cervicrazed]

walt + all the other named members of his species

GAH this one took so long whoops

Haven't technically introduced other members of The Jek just yet, but I'll throw in one lil guy I've been rotating in my mind

OC Lore under the cut! (body horror cw)

^ Walt's "Human" form ^ 'Standard' Jek form

✨- How did you come up with the OC’s name?

Walt-> a year or so after I made Wilton, I made Walt(on) - they weren't originally gonna be in the same story so I didn't notice there was only a vowel difference between them🤦🏽 I fixed this by having Walt choose his name to be similar on purpose, unknowingly bonding the two forever afterwards

Iniko -> originally heard it from an amazing artist of the same name! Really liked how it sounded so I looked more into the etymology & started crafting the story from there (working backwards this time around)

🌼 - How old are they? (Or approximate age range)

The Jek as a species are as old as fear itself - but Walt is around 80 or 90 years old by the start of the Dead Wood plotline

Iniko is about 15 years older than Bambi

🌺- Do they have any love interest(s)?

Walt -> There've been a few, but Wilton is the only one he would die for. Since emotions are all he can see/smell, he often forgets that others can't tell what he's feeling just by looking

Iniko -> Not yet. They're a bit too preoccupied plotting revenge to think about anything else

🍕 - What is their favorite food?

All Jek feed on Nightmares, but as an individual, Walt's favorite are ones that involve the dreamer being chased by A Creature™ (Adrenaline is particularly sweet)

Iniko enjoys the taste of paranoia the most - it's not as filling as a full on nightmare, but it's in a much richer supply

💼 - What do they do for a living?

Walt -> Fulfills the role of a Boogeyman-esque urban legend to keep potential trespassers away from his family. Not to say he doesn't enjoy it, as the fear he inspires is it's own reward.

Iniko -> political subterfuge/espionage; despite having no interest in whatever politics are going on. Their services can be bought, but not with money; they'll only take the job if you agree to do something for them first (you may live to regret it).

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?

Walt -> Painting! He can't actually see the final product, but part of the fun is hearing Bambi and Wil try and guess what the art depicts

Iniko -> Enjoys studying and growing plants since they're the only living thing they can't mimic very well

🎯 -What do they do best?

Walt -> he's a skilled strategist! Prides himself on staying at least two steps ahead of everyone else; unfortunately doesn't mean he's never wrong

Iniko -> Mimicry! They've perfected their shapeshifting into an art - even being able to seemlessly mimic the voices & cadence of others

🥊 -What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?

Walt -> Loves spending time with his family! Wil and Bambi are his entire world. Holds nothing but righteous rage towards Casters (magic users) - he blames their greed for driving The Jek to (near) extinction

Iniko -> Loves the feeling of 'getting away with it' & gossiping. It's a valuable way to get information, but they easily + inadvertently get too involved with local affairs. Hates everything about the Rader family, especially Bambi.

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

Walt -> Dutifully watching and waiting for his daughter to grow. It took her a year and a half before she was ready to pluck out of the ground

Iniko -> Finding out they had a sister this whole time!

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

Walt -> Watching Wilton waste away to disease. While happy there was a way to revive him, Walt's not sure he can survive losing him again

Iniko -> Finding out they had a sister this whole time.

🧊 - Is their current design the first one?

Walt -> kinda? His 'human disguise' hasn't really changed that much, but his 'true form' has changed at least 3 times

Iniko -> as of rn they don't have a design yet 💀 I'm workin on it!!

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

Walt -> i wanted to make an OC based off supernatural's leviathans + that balerina girl from Cabin in the Woods (2011) bc I really liked the idea of a person's head/face being nothing but teeth

Iniko -> Getting this ask & watching Boy Kills World (2024). I haven't made another Jek character since Bambi, kinda wanted to change that thanks to this ask!

🌂 - What genre do they belong in?

Walt -> Animated Dark Comedy, but bonus points if the hypothetical director can pull off the live action practical effects

Iniko -> Dark Fantasy Revenge Thriller....like The Prestige (2006) if there were monsters as well as magicians

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

Walt -> Masc but not exclusively + Demisexual

Iniko -> Agender + Asexual

🙌 - How many siblings does your OC have?

Walt -> one, but he suspects they're long dead by now

Iniko -> one, and they hate her

🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like?

Walt -> Was stolen from his family shortly after sprouting; still aches for that lost connection but tries to make up for it with his new family

Iniko -> Relentlessly hateful towards their parents. Doesn't want to kill them, but not out of mercy; they want to take everything away from them first.

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

Walt -> teef. They make drawing him take foreverr but it's always worth it to me. Pincushion of a creature

Iniko -> their antagonist status. Dead Wood's been desperately needing one for a while now and they're a very fun fit

✏️ - How often do you draw/write about the OC?

Walt -> admittedly haven't drawn him in a while ...gotta change that

Iniko -> been drawing them a lot trying to figure out what they even look like. Haven't settled on a design I like yet

💎 - Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC?

Walt -> nah. He'll live forever, which is much more tragic

Iniko -> maybe? They're too new for me to want to do that

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

Walt -> I guess technically he has all of them?

Iniko -> the only fear they have is of failure

🍩 -Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?

Walt -> his father in-law, an ancient forest demon

Iniko -> their sister, a moody teenager

🎓 - How long have you had the OC?

Walt -> Easter, 2015...9 years...

Iniko -> as I'm writing this... a month or so?

🍥 - What age were you when you created the OC?

Walt -> 14...

Iniko -> 22 💪🏽

[borrelia]

Since round 2 of @sonic-oc-showdown is so close right now, thought I'd do this questionnaire for dog! after going through some other competitors' summaries vs propaganda, i definitely get a much better idea of the character from this supplemental stuff!

Original post by @/redd956 here! Banner by @/bunnymajo :) ty!

✨- How did you come up with the OC’s name?

Hmm poorly! ^_^; But the logic became: Dog picked his name* because he was amused by the idea of having a name that can be general slang. he's always waiting for the day when someone says "what's up, dawg?" (he lives in a 90s sonic comic okay?) and he can.. well.. he hasn't really realized his response would not be different whether that was just a normal greeting or his name. and I'm not sure it's going to happen either, but it amuses him anyway. he's easily amused :) *all three of them in their core friend group have picked their names. dog + bebe for transgender reasons and fleet just for general Identity reasons.

🌼 - How old are they? (Or approximate age range)

16 (or 16-ish; i actually have to check his ref every time so the specific number isn't that important since I can never remember it)

🍕 - What is their favorite food?

i feel like this kid could DEMOLISH some chinese takeout. he's going for noodles, he's going for dumplings, he's going for spice.

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?

skating! dog + her friends all meet + bond over skating :) dog prefers to board and honestly takes it real casual. she can do some tricks and will go out there and focus for a while, but usually she just slowly rolls around on her board and chats with her friends. she also collects trading cards and plays videos games.

🎯 -What do they do best?

dog isn't really the competitive type--she's just here to have fun and be herself. as such, she doesn't really care to think about whether or not shes 'good' at things... he's just chilling! i think his friends might say his strengths are in handling stress, being a good listener, and first aid. and then theyd tack on that some of the casual little gum wrapper crafts she makes are wicked cool

🥊 -What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?

loves: chilling, being with friends, hanging out, having a good time

hates: when anything starts to be not that. majorly avoids anything that is too much Not the above things.

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

not really a memory, but i think he treasures his childhood friendship with bebe :) he loves to see how she's grown into a more confident and happy person. any time he makes a new friend is a good memory. any time his friends make a new friend is also a good memory. reaching out and welcoming in that nervous yellow hedgehog lingering at the edge of the park for the first time and seeing him warm up to the group was a good memory :)

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

dog good vibes forever <3

🧊 - Is their current design the first one?

Pretty much! I've gone back and forth on what kind of gloves to give her, and the hoodie is just a normal skull instead of sans, but otherwise is still check my work on her original ref

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

Fleet Needs Friends dot MyMind

🌂 - What genre do they belong in?

Dog being part of canon-divergence au in the fleetway comics puts her in variety comedy/adventure i guess :) in my mind, the stories the group get up to are "working together to defeat a minor villain in the area even though they don't have powers" and "getting possessed by/having wishes granted by/retrieving one of ebony's magical macguffins." the non-story fanficky stuff is mostly Chilling, Hanging Out, Shooting the Shit, and Being Unbothered. (as well as like. semi-grounded melodrama. you know the fun of taking character moments So Seriously?)

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

gender: ? sexuality: ??

🙌 - How many sibling does your OC have?

none that I've bothered to make, but i could see her having an adult older brother

🍎 - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like?

dog's parents aren't really in the picture! he lives with his nan. they have a semi-strained relationship--they love each other and have their bonding moments, but she can get pretty riled up about some of the things dog does (knuckle tats, dirty room), even if there are others she just doesn't seem to care about (skipping school, extended stays at friends' houses, nosering). dog usually defaults to "ignore and avoid" if things are anything less than peachy.

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

he's just so easy to draw and i got that design down PAT. im really happy with dog + bebe + merger fleet all sharing color across their designs :) the friends. (i need to get bebe some green +gold accents tho it seems...)

also the knuckle tats detail and this

✏️ - How often do you draw/write about the OC?

usually when i'm having a fleet Moment dog comes along for the ride, maybe gets slingshotted forward into his own moment. so not that often, but in batches

💎 - Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC?

dog live forever <3

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

none that she would tell you 👍

🍩 -Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?

dog everyones friend forever <3

🎓 - How long have you had the OC?

Just over a year! the ref is dated august 6th 2022 and i did the original sketches the day before.

[aethernightmare]

My ex-partner actually did have a lot of influence on how I designed my characters in games, because I'd get ignored or ghosted in regards to the hobby entirely if I didn't make a character that was hyper-feminine / conventionally attractive enough. Which is true of my actual appearance as well, I'm loathe to admit in hindsight.

As while he'd never say it to my face, because something like that would have garnered an immediate breakup, the manipulation was still there, even if it was subtle. If someone is only ever complemented or praised on things they dislike (or even hate) doing, and brushed aside or put down for things they like or makes them feel comfortable, it messes with their head and can often lead them to subconsciously adjusting their behavior. Even if it ultimately makes them more unhappy in the end. This is especially true if the coercion is coming from a long-term romantic partner, or only starts happening multiple years into an established relationship like mine did (romantic or platonic). Heck, he many not have even fully realized he was doing it, because nobody else in his life checked him on these kinds of behaviors. Meaning any observation I made towards my treatment always got drowned out by everyone else in his life calling it "normal". (Parents, co-workers, his friends, media, etc.)

So if you suddenly realize I'm making a lot more masculine, feral, and "scrunkly" OC's for my playthroughs as of late, that's just me going back to my own preferences, rather than taking any of his into account.

My super-scaley, short-haired, masc-coded Final Fantasy 14 character was the first one I made after he left. Almost out of retaliation, really. As I had to discard the old character with hundreds of hours on the account, that I created specifically to play with him, to even clear up the name slot again. Even though I'd already finished all job quests and most of ARR. (Also yes, I know I could have just used a potion of fantasia, but the old character felt tainted at that point).

Prior to that, we were actually supposed to go through the game together, but at that point he was making almost zero time for me. And then one of the few times we did meet up in-game to do stuff, was when I discovered he was cheating. As not only did he invite his most-current affair partner along (which would later lead me down a rabbit hole to finally discovering the others), but she understood the whole cheating dynamic long before I did, and so like a cat who was proud of eating the family canary, she was downright supercilious and haughty towards me about it behind his back. (To this day, I still don't think he knows how I found out. Fun fact, people who willingly have an affair with cheaters tend not to be good people in other aspects of life either lmao.)

Worth noting too, this character I use now is based on an OC I used to use for everything prior to even meeting him. Way back since like 2004 (middle school), at least. So it's not just an amalgamation of "picking traits he hates". It's more me than it is 'anti-him'. It's just that being myself by default, sadly, fits that criteria. Which honestly should have been a red flag much sooner. But it's hard to see those behaviors for what they are, when they're coming from a person you used to trust, heart and soul, for over a decade.

And I'm doing the same of my appearance in real life now as well. I've already started to focus a lot more on working out, weight training, and gaining visible muscle-mass back. And I've started to wear my old, more practical/masculine styles of clothes. Heck, some of the more "dainty" outfits don't fit my arms or shoulders anymore already, which is a good sign. I used to be absolutely ripped in high school, and I want to regain some semblance of that physique again. (My current form isn't unhealthy, but it's not as strong as I want to be either).

So for anyone who comments thinking I'm just making "mistakes" in character creators for what traits I choose - no, I'm not. Let people be in charge of their own appearance, and don't attempt to re-style someone to fit your preferences. If it's such a big deal to you, then find someone who already enjoys being in that form to begin with. On top of that, because I rarely go into detail about my sex/gender, especially in this political climate, and because those things shouldn't be necessary to determine whether or not you like or agree with someone on a non-related topic, like hobbies, there's a really good chance people have already made some incorrect assumptions to begin with.

I don't mind strangers who barely know me assuming one way or the other, as long as they're polite about it. And I don't like going into full detail online. But what I can't tolerate is people projecting their own insecurities, or trying to persuade me into becoming their version of head-cannon, in order to make themselves feel more comfortable. No matter who you meet in life, always remember to address them as a human being. Don't forget etiquette just because someone might not tick all the check marks of your initial assessment of them.

TL;DR: Gonna start being gayer and put up with less shit on main.

[omegatheunknown]

Top 10 of 2023 -- Theatrical Releases

Started using letterboxd as a journal two years ago, mostly so I could remember just how recently I'd watched Big Trouble in Little China or Hot Fuzz, but also to hit 'em with of the moment reviews and ratings fresh from the theatre. Which is to say, I'm a little nervous to see what'll come up at the top, but let's take a trip.

10- The Boogeyman (**1/2) - Technically in theatres for a week or two. Buried otherwise, a low stakes King adaptation/remake/reboot that makes the list so I don't have to say anything about AntMan, Elemental, Renfield, or, god forbid, Mario. Effective horror, kind of a neat creature at the center of it, pleasantly surprised that I didn't hate it.

9- Asteroid City (***) - Did lead to a minor personal epiphany, so not all bad. The amount of meta-fictional artifice (lest we for a second want to empathize or consider Wes' paper doll characters in his paper doll theatre as being recognizably human) has gone well-beyond the 'as Royal Tenenbaum' and 'let me tell you about my boat,' past the authorial frame of the Grand Budapest and as of The French Dispatch, Mssr Anderson is now almost entirely preoccupied with stories within stories and it is actually very annoying. (The minor epiphany is that I have also been doing this, as metafiction delights me too, Wes, but why should anyone else care?) Anyway, highlight here is the usual meticulous design, the ridiculous stop-motion sequence, some crackerjack dialogue (muted because now every character has the same blunted affect and without subtitles I sorta glazed over in parts) and these movies remain quite funny.

8- Barbie (***1/2) - Watched a lot of pablum this year, most of it with very naked corporate ambition. Barbie's central trick is to critique itself and the very cynical context in which it critiques itself and hopefully contain within it the entire discourse (good luck to you.) Wish I hadn't had to listen to people earnestly tell me how brilliant and resonant certain 'pause for applause' moments were, but the humour may well stand the test of time, and people were rightly hyped on Ryan Gosling's over-delivery on what once was seen as an unlikely bit of casting.

7- Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 3 (***1/2) - Not too proud to admit I was, in 2023, still kind of excited to see this one (1) marvel movie. Crisp Rat aside, the Guardians deliver best on the comic-to-screen vibe and rarely seem embarrassed with their source, leading to the intense emotional journey of a CGI mutant raccoon bounty hunter reckoning with his maker, no winking involved. Rocket Raccoon is my fucking guy, anyway, no more of these, please and thanks.

6- Dungeons and Dragons, Honor Among Thieves (***1/2) - Yeah, okay, more popcorn flick pablum. Hasbro hoping to further capitalize on the pop culture rise of and monetize and micro-transaction-atize and thereby enshitiffy one of my dearest hobbies (I am diversifying away from D&D TM) looming large in the background here, given the whole OGL blowback it was briefly reasonable large portions of diehards might boycott this thing. Anyway, saw it, liked it, succeeded wildly in the goal of effectively conveying what it's actually like to play a fantasy ttrpg, all the weird in-jokes, wild variations in tone, hand-waving and quirks of 'the rules' there for snorts of recognition. Cannot imagine this was much fun for non-players, but maybe.

5- Across the Spider-Verse (****) - Extremely hyped, but hopefully not the zenith of the trilogy, a lot is riding on part 3, which is thankfully due, uhhh, sometime next year? Dragged out its ending laying more groundwork, but before then, another ceiling breaking exercise in contemporary animation, an almost non-stop kinetic kaleidoscope of visual creativity that augurs well for animation's continued evolution.

4- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in Mutant Mayhem (****) - Speaking of. Now, I've loved the Turtles since I was 4 years old, so my personal belief has always been, even though I love the 1990 rubber-suited cash grab, that the central premise is something that in the right hands can actually be objectively good, as opposed to personally delightful to me. This is that movie, the good Ninja Turtles movie. 'Teenage' -- to the point of being endearingly, obnoxiously immature, 'Mutant' -- to the point that the world around them is just as grody and fucked up looking as they are, 'Ninja' -- with sly handheld camera angles and satisfyingly fluid motion to rival Spiderverse, and uh, 'Turtles' -- they sure fucking are. I loved this. Jackie Chan forever.More, please.

3- Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person (****) - Exceedingly Quebecois take on the contemporary hipster vampire movie, Can-con for my list. Canadian Indies in 2023 are strikingly similar to American Indies from 2008, if that at all recommends. Ranks high for efficient self-contained everything, very charming, funny, just bizarre enough.

2- The Boy and the Heron (****1/2) - Easy to feel like this is a Ghibli greatest hits compilation, easier to remember that's what we all kinda want-- cute and unsettling creatures, delicious looking food, spirit worlds, quiet moments of reflection, arcane rules for how any and everything works... yet also maybe the truest return to the titanic achievements of Princess Mononoke and Spirited Away (especially.) Story forms a suitably esoteric thesis about grief and creation and, ultimately, endings. I think Miyazaki might actually be done this time.

1- Godzilla Minus One (*****) - An entirely different movie than Shin Godzilla, very possibly even better. It's tense (Godzilla hasn't felt creepy like this for a while.) It's emotional (rivals Godzilla vs Biollante in its human story.) It's very naked in its message (ah, the guilt.) The action is superb. I do not know where Godzilla goes from here. (Mothra!)

(Haven’t seen: Poor Things, Bottoms, Napoleon, the Killer, a bunch of other crap.)

[browzerhistory]

tips for beginning artists from someone who's been drawing since he could first pick up a crayon:

1. anything worth doing is worth doing poorly

scared the drawing you want to make will turn out ugly? nervous you won't do the angle/character/lighting/etc justice? do it anyway. do it scared. do it weird, do it anatomically incorrect, do it uncolored, but whatever you do, draw that thing. it's better to get the idea out on paper/canvas/etc than to leave it in your brain to eventually fade away. if you still really love the concept, you can come back to it later with better skills, and if you end up disliking it, well, now that you've drawn it you don't have to ever again!

2. get a little silly with it

experiment with your art. go to a color palette generator and make something with the first thing you get. make ocs with complicated designs and weird backstories. change things about your style just to see how they look. the more things you try out, the more things you'll find out you like (or dislike), and your art will start to really feel like yours. i'm not sure if the Youth of Today get as hung up over not having an art style as i used to, but if you do, there's only one way to get it: fuck around and find out.

3. always cheat

listen. there are many people who will tell you that tracing a reference or color picking from a photo or whatever is cheating. those people are lying to you. obviously there are limits (like don't trace/recolor art and post it without credit), but the vast majority of the time, tracing and taking inspiration from other people's art is how you get better.

(one way to stop yourself from plateauing is to trace a reference, then try drawing it by hand. you can also try breaking down a pose into basic shapes/lines; if this seems confusing, just pretend you're making hitboxes for it video game style.)

4. take a goddamn break

if drawing is starting to feel more like a chore than a hobby, or if you feel like you've run out of good ideas, stop for a couple days. pursue another hobby, eat good food, observe local flora and fauna. even if you love drawing with all your heart and think you'll never get enough of it, your brain needs a refresher every now and then to come up with new cool stuff to draw. trying to push past burnout will most likely just ruin the fun of it for you.

5. make a mary sue oc immediately

there's way too much hate on mary sue characters, especially when so many stories introduce protagonists by going "what if there was a guy. and he was the Specialest Guy Ever." having a character who's sexy and smart and powerful is not only fun, but good for the soul, and nobody gets hurt when you make one. plus, it's hard to overstate how good it is to have a character you love to draw in lots of different outfits, poses, and situations.

6. your art is good because you made it

now this one will probably be controversial, since a lot of artist memes are about feeling self conscious about or straight-up hating your own art. but you've gotta find pride in what you make. you've gotta look at your drawings and say, "this fucks actually and i did an amazing job." for me, even if i don't like how a drawing turned out, i try to find at least one thing i really like about it, like the shading or colors or emotion. making self-deprecating jokes stops being ironic the more you do it, and the same applies to jokingly tearing your own art apart.

7. keep your old art

a very good poster once said that throwing away/deleting your old art is like walking up a staircase and smashing every stair behind you. even if you're very high up, you won't see it because it looks like you're just on the first step.

personally, i have sketchbooks going back to early 2018, when i first started regularly using them, and i keep some of my first ever digital pieces in an archive on my tablet, but i get that that sort of record keeping isn't possible for a lot of people. the gist of this advice is just to have some reminder of where you've been, so you can look forward to where you're going.

8. make furry characters

beyond the obvious (you're probably a furry and it's nice to be able to draw your fursona), doing furry art is also a great way to find community in art. whether you do commissions, comics, or just draw yourself for fun, furry art is a wonderful method of self-expression that has the added bonus of being basically limitless. my main fursona is a bug, my secondary one is a gastropod. follow your dreams.

there may be more i add to this list later, but these are the main ones i can come up with. obligatory disclaimer that i'm just one guy with one experience; this advice might not work for everyone; etc etc. i've just tried to base this off of what i wish i knew when i started getting into art seriously.

[matcha-teh]

I <3 NY

I had recently gone on a trip to New York City to watch my uncle run the New York City Marathon. It was his first marathon and my first time back in NYC since 2017.

I've avoided going to NYC for the longest time because I hated the city. With its crowds, dirty subway, and ceaseless noise, I could just barely hear myself think. I preferred cities like Boston and Los Angeles — big enough to not run into acquaintances all the time (unlike Providence), but not quite NYC-level of insanity. I could go to museums (MFA in Boston and LACMA in NYC) and find great restaurants (to be fair, the NYC food scene is overrated). My friends and tell me: "but, New York has that something!" I've struggled to find out what that "something" is.

During the five hour bus ride from Providence to New York, I wasn't sure if I was ready to visit the city again. After all, it's the site of multiple high-profile anti-Asian hate crimes and the epicenter of COVID-19 cases in the early days of the pandemic. My mom and I got off the bus at Penn Station and braved Time Square, I thought: "of course, it's gross. It's NYC."

The day before the marathon, I caught up with some college buddies in SoHo. We were supposed to meet up at this matcha cafe, but, on the way there, I got lost. There were two branches of the same franchise in SoHo and I went to the other one. I ran from one end of SoHo to another, past luxury shops, street dealers, and some people who looked like super models. I ran and ran and ended up falling in love with NYC. To confront the streets by myself, to make my way around the city against the backdrop of light passing through fall foliage.

My friends all went to NYC to chase their ambitions: work for a big design company, land a prestigious internship, find love, etc. I had wanted to move to NYC for the same reasons, before coming to terms with the fact that the city wasn't a good fit for me. Moving back to Manila after my stint in the US proved difficult. I suffered from the most intense FOMO of not moving to a major American city after graduation. I resigned myself to enjoying my hometown's warm weather and hanging onto the sliver of hope that I could go to NYC and "make it."

I maneuvered my way around slow-walking tourists and construction workers. I realized that I had set the wrong expectations for New York.

I arrived twenty minutes late to the hang-out. But hey, that's expected in NYC where trains randomly stop working and streets close for events. We had fun looking at all the things we would never spend money on in SoHo.

My friends had changed and grown so much. In the past, they laid all these careful plans on how they'd go up the corporate ladder at an NYC firm and how much money they'd make. Now, they openly admitted to not knowing what their next step is, not knowing if they want to stay in NYC long-term.

I've since let go of the New York FOMO. I like my life in Manila. I made new friends, established the foundation of my career, and found new hobbies. I also get to spend as much time with my family and have time for myself. I don't chase chase crazy goals as desperately as I did before. I take my time to have my morning cup of coffee.

The old adage goes "if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere."

I believe the reverse to be more accurate: if you can't make it anywhere, you can't make it in New York. Life and excitement just don't suddenly start when we get off the plane at JFK or get off the bus at Penn Station.

While NYC teems with opportunity, some you may never even get, it take an impressive willpower to focus on savoring the breeze in your hair on a way to having a meal with friends.

[mimzy-writing-online]

You probably know this by now, I don't know if you keep up with Whumptober, but one of the prompts this year includes "blindness". I'm not blind but based on your posts about writing blind characters, and based on how I would feel if one of my disabilities were used as a whump prompt, I'm not super comfortable with it. I was wondering what your thoughts are on blindness being a Whumptober prompt.

(unironically and with feeling) thanks, I hate it.

Yes, I’m familiar with Whumptober, but I’ve never participated myself and I haven’t seen this year’s prompts.

Edit: I later did see the prompts and check out the blog. I think it's a good set of prompts and I look forward to all the promising content, especially since some of my favorite tropes are there. To be clear before you read this, I have no problem with Whumptober2021 or whump in general. This is not the first time blindness has been included for a list of whump prompts, and it won't be the last.

This post directed at the concept of "blindness" as a whump prompt and why I think it's a bad idea. The intended audience is individual writers thinking about future projects.

The timing of this is almost too perfect because I read a fanfic earlier this week that would meet that prompt exactly. Tags included whump, blindness, and angst with a happy ending. Now whump, hurt/comfort, and angst with a happy ending are tags I enjoy reading, but blindness as whump has a specific message to it.

To explain that message, I want to discuss what whump is. Many readers are already familiar with the genre, but I think taking the specific definitions and picking apart what it means and what expectations we carry when reading whump fanfiction

Urban Dictionary defines it as: taking a character and putting them through physical and/or mental torment and is typically followed by the same character being treated for their traumas. To indicate the characters place in the situation they’d typically be called a whumpee (the character being hurt/comforted), the whumper (the character that causes harm and trauma), and the caretaker (the character designated the helping/healing/comforting the whumpee).

Fanlore has a page for whump that explains it in depth, including where it started in fanfiction, examples of whump, and even a list of “popular targets” in different fandoms. (Warning: you might find yourself called out on the popular targets list)

“The term whump (or whumping) generally refers to a form of Hurt/Comfort that is heavy on the hurt and is often found in gen stories. The exact definition varies and has evolved over time. Essentially, whump involves taking a canon character, and placing them in physically painful or psychologically-damaging scenarios. Often this character is a fan favorite…”

To add to that, I think an important detail is the distinction Fanlore makes between hurt/comfort and whump:

“While some communities and fandoms may use whump as a synonym for hurt/comfort, there is still a recognition that whump refers to darker and more extreme scenarios. And there are still whump fics been written that have very little, or no comfort at the end of the story.”

The big appeal of hurt/comfort is getting to both explore the darker sides of pain and then experience the catharsis of being taken care of, of being supported by your loved ones as you recover from the trauma. The character is the proxy for experiencing those highs and lows while you yourself are safe at home.

I personally don’t read much/any whump without some h/c involved, but I’m happy there are stories out there for people who do enjoy it. I’m not here to judge what you like reading or what you do to your characters.

What I want is to express how blindness, my disability, used as a whump prompt personally makes me feel and what message it sends to me, to others, and how that message affects my daily life.

Whump undeniably involves watching a character suffer through something painful and traumatic.

My use of the word “suffer” is what I want you to focus on.

Vision loss can be painful and traumatic. I personally developed an anxiety disorder in response to vision loss. Others experience depression. For some it might result in relapsing into old, maladaptive coping mechanisms like drug use, self harm, or eating disorders.

A big part of my anxiety was how people reacted to my vision loss. It was a cause of their stress. They were worried because they genuinely believed I would never live a happy life without normal vision, and that my life would only be struggle and pain.

I recently saw an old friend who hadn’t heard about my vision loss. The conversation was awkward, but the worst part was how they reacted as though I had experienced an insurmountable tragedy. And even when I assured them I’m happy with my life, they clearly didn’t believe me. They acted like I was just lying or in denial.

I love that people want to empathize with my situation and ask themselves what they would do in my situation, but I hate when the conclusion they come to is something along the lines of “I could never do that, I’d be too miserable thinking about everything I lost, I’d never be able to do anything I enjoyed ever again.” But I did go blind. And I’m not miserable, I’m actually happy with the direction my life is going, and I still enjoy my hobbies, even if I engage with them differently.

I’m not suffering. My life didn’t end with vision loss. It’s not ruined, broken, or worthless.

I read a fanfic that was tagged with whump, blindness, and angst with a happy ending. A general synopsis of the plot: the whumpee had gone blind due to a curse. It was true love’s kiss that broke the curse. Even from the summary I knew it was going to end with whumpee being cured somehow and that I’d leave that fanfic vaguely dissatisfied no matter how good the rest of the fanfic was.

I can say this for the fanfic: the whumpee had already accepted that they would likely be blind for the rest of their life, but everyone around them was treating it as a tragedy that needed to be fixed, working tirelessly for a cure despite the whumpee’s protests that they didn’t have to.

It actually hit home to my personal experience.

I still left it dissatisfied with the ending. I might love curse fics in that fandom, and I love the “true love’s kiss” trope, but it wasn’t enough to distract me from the fact that: an actual person out in the world thought the best happy ending, maybe the only happy ending, would be if the character got their sight back.

(note: I clicked kudos and exited out of the story's page because no fanfic writer deserves unsolicited critique or hate, especially for content I consumed for free and at my own volition.)

Why read a story I knew would disappoint me?

Because blindness representation is so damn rare that I feel like I’m wandering in a desert, dying from thirst and desperate for that oasis. But sometimes that oasis is a mirage and the author is unintentionally telling you that your life is actually awful and you’ll never be fully happy like this. And that is a shit mentality to walk through life with.

I don’t appreciate blindness being a whump plot. I hate it. Hundreds (thousands?) of fanfictions featuring blind characters are about to enter the internet and the overall message is going to be “You poor thing! You must be in so much pain, you must be miserable! Who’s going to save you? Who’s going to comfort you? Wouldn’t it be terrible if there was no one in your life to take care of you? You poor helpless thing!”

And I feel objectified. I feel trivialized. The mirage in the desert is going to become a starch, empty room filled with dozens of water bottles, almost all of them poisoned. My representation is going to hurt me personally, and it’s going to reinforce that idea strangers have about how awful my life must be.

(I returned to school this past month, and every day I’m hesitant to tell someone I’m visually impaired because I don’t want to be treated differently. If I’ve managed to pass as sighted this whole time and then suddenly reveal “oh yeah, I’m visually impaired” I feel this instant silence, this pause of awkwardness as people suddenly question how they’re supposed to treat me. They treated me like a person, and now I’m something strange and unfamiliar.)

I’ve worked so hard to improve representation for blind people, to give internet strangers the exposure to a blind person they need to normalize blindness because I hope that if they’re ever so lucky as to meet a blind person, they’ll treat that person with respect. That hope that another person in the blind community will find a friend they feel comfortable and accepted with. I hope that I’ll meet people who accept my blindness as just another aspect of me (like being bisexual or gender fluid or a writer or a cat lover).

Please don’t turn me and my community into a caricature. Don’t erase everything I’ve worked for with this blog.

To be clear, this is not just me saying "I hate the cure trope" again. This is me saying "the purpose of whump is to painfully hurt your favorite character, and I hate that your idea of pain and suffering is my daily (wonderful) life."

[wiypt-writes]

Consciousness Of Guilt

Chapter 1

Summary: It’s a year since Ransom was murdered, and you’re settling well into your new life in Boulder. It hasn’t just provided you with a fresh start-it’s brought you a new sense and purpose, an appreciation for the things you took fore grated, and the friendship of a former ADA…

Warnings: Bad Language, allusions to past abuse (Non Con/Dub Con) but nothing explicitly described in this chapter.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar the reader and any other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

W/C: 5k

Consciousness Of Guilt Masterlist // Main Masterlist

A/N- So, here it is! The sequel to Murder, He Wrote . This is the last time I’ll post this note, however, please be aware that the prequel is a Dark series. Whilst this is not, it will contain flashbacks and themes as we progress, however nothing will be as dark as MHW. Chapters will be clearly labelled with appropriate warnings. If anyone is uncomfortable with the themes of a certain chapter, I will be more than happy to post/provide abridged versions which will not deviate from the storyline.

Sunrise. You used to hate the coming of each day. It meant another monotonous day in your young adult life. A 'depends on the day' type of job at the paper in which you got your start, it meant earning little for the slave work you put into each piece or research. It meant another day you'd woken up in fear, not knowing what was coming next. Then, for a little while, sunrises were okay. They were a soft glow across the room, illuminating hard lines and soft curves, whispering words and lingering kisses. And then, they became fearful again, bringing the unpredictable nature of a life in which you were trapped.

But now, over the last few months, since taking up your new hobby, sunrise had become a beautiful thing. The feeling of peace and comfort washing over you like a warm rain, bringing the redeeming nature of a new day as vibrant watercolours paint the new-born sky. Whether you caught it from the East side of your condo; your master balcony and study or your garden, or even your hikes, you appreciated every, single sunrise as if you were seeing it for the first time ever, each and every day.

For this morning's sunrise, you were perched along Boulder Creek Path, a trail that runs from the foothills to across town, a typical recreational getaway for many locals and tourists. You looked out over the bridge as the creek flowed beneath your feet. You were lost in the serenity of it, the bubbling water lulling your mind into a deep mediation that washed peacefulness through your entire body.

A year ago today, your life changed and you were freed. Free of the nightmare that had plagued you, robbing you of nearly a year of your life. The months that followed weren't so easy, but once things settled and the fires were extinguished, you found peace.

You found you.

Your phone buzzing in your pocket brought you back from your reverie, pressing your thumb onto the screen to unlock it. You opened your messages tab and tapped the most recent incoming text.

A smile flicked on your face as you slipped your phone back in your pocket. It didn’t escape your knowledge how Andy didn’t need to even ask what coffee you wanted. But then again, this wasn’t the first time you’d had breakfast in the small, independent coffee place not far from your home and place of work. You knew when you arrived that a large caramel vanilla latte, with an extra shot would be waiting. But no food, your order varied depending on your mood.

Twenty minutes or so later, you parked your sting-grey Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT 4x4 back in your garage to your condo at the corner of 9th and Pine Street and set off on the short ten minute walk to your designated meeting place, centred near the town square, not far from your office which was a gorgeous old red-brick building on the corner of 16th and Walnut Street.

As you approached, you didn’t spot Andy’s black Audi TT in any of the spaces littered around but it didn’t bother you. Barber was reliable, if he said he was going to be there, he’d be there.

And sure enough, as you walked along the side of the cafe you, spotted him at your usual, preferred table by the large window, overlooking the street. He saw you approaching and smiled, giving a small wave.

The smell of roast coffee beans, baked treats and other delicious aromas hit your senses as you opened the door. You approached the table and Andy stood up to great you, smiling. A light grey tee sat exposed under a partially zipped up light weight blue leathered hoodie whilst dark and crisp denim covered his narrow hips and long legs, his go to well-worn black work boots on his feet. His hair was styled and soft looking, his beard always trimmed and neat. He gave you a strong, yet gentle hug, a juxtaposition he managed effortlessly before he turned and waited for you to sit first before he took up his previous seat, nodding to your waiting drink.

“Thank you.” You beamed at him, taking a quick sip. "Of course." He smiled as he took a drink of his own coffee, straight black, before he leaned back a little. His left arm rested over the back of the booth bench, the platinum of his wedding ring catching the early morning sun which streamed through the window. You momentarily glanced at your own hand, bare of the heavy rings which had been taken in the ‘mugging’. Mind you, you wouldn’t be wearing them even if you still had them. Your story was a lot different to his.

“So, where'd you go this morning?" his soft baritone drifted across the table and you glanced back at him. "Fiddled around down Boulder Creek Path." "You seem to be getting around better now." "Yeah, thank God for GPS. Did I tell you that last week I was looking for some store Amber vaguely told me where about it was and ending up like thirty minutes down the highway towards Denver." He laughed, his whole body smiling, radiating genuine amusement. "You have more faith in GPS than me, when I first moved here I got pulled over for going the wrong way down a one way street because it told me to.” You grinned as he shook his head. "And that annoying voice! I want to wring her damn neck." You gave a chuckle but before you could reply, the middle-aged woman, who owned the café, interrupted you both with her usual familiar greeting and the smile she reserved for Andy. “Hey Patti, how are ya?” He smiled back. “Same old, same old.” She winked back. “What can I get you kids today?” “Y/N?” Andy looked at you and you smiled. “Can I get an almond croissant and a granola pot, please? With the blueberry compote.” “Sure honey, and for you Mr Barber?”

“French toast please, all the trimmings.”

A fizzing filled your ears as you were suddenly back on a clinically clean, modern kitchen, nervously scouring a fridge and cupboards for something to make your captor breakfast with. You swallowed, taking a deep breath, counting backwards from five as you always did to keep the memory from swallowing you.

“Hey,” a gentle touch to your hand jolted you back and you looked at Andy who frowned. “You okay?” "Yeah, no, I mean yes, I'm okay. It just…it dawned me this morning that this was the best thing I could have done for myself. Like there's just a newfound peace that's settled with me, you know?" He just smiled as he squeezed your hand before slipping his away. “Yeah, I do.” No more was said about it, and Andy didn’t press. He never did. In the eight weeks or so that had passed since you’d met him that Friday evening in the bar, the pair of you had struck up a friendship that was based on a mutual understanding. You both carried a heavy burden of a traumatic past on your shoulders, but you had an unspoken rule. He had never mentioned Ransom. And you, in turn, never broached the subject of Laurie or Jacob. You understood you were both moving on with your life, both wanting to heal from the past and you wanted to spend the rest of your life never in fear again. Instead, a simple chatter always flowed between the two of you, and today was no exception. You barely stopped to thank Patti for dropping your order off at the table. Current work was never a topic of conversation, although office gossip featured on occasion, but mostly it was always about happenings around town, him asking about you, your parents and your old job, the two of you talking about your favourite places in Boston. You never missed certain facial and eye cues Andy gave off at the mention of certain things, but when you saw them, that sag in his smile or the far off look his eyes would give, you'd change the subject. You ate in comfortable companionship and after another coffee, Andy asked for the bill and then pulled out his card to pay. "Next one is on me, you paid for the last two and coffee all this week." You gave him a stern look as you headed towards the exit. “Well, if you wanted you could grab us a beer later.” He shrugged, pulling the door handle to open it, allowing you to step out before him. “I gotta nip into the office for a coupla hours but...” "Breakfast AND drinks?" You smiled as he fell into step beside you. The July day was starting to warm a little now, the slight chill of the early morning all but gone. “If I didn't know any better, I'd say you actually like hanging out with me." “Well, I wouldn’t go that far. I just find you slightly less irritating than everything and everyone else.” He teased and you laughed. “So... Happy hour?" "Yeah." You nodded “It's a date." Andy confirmed and you quirked your eyebrow, trying not to laugh at the look on his face as he realised what he had said. “A date?” “Well, I don’t mean a date date but...” You felt the heat in your neck a little, so to save your embarrassment and his blushes, you smiled, "it's a date-not-date. Say Oskar’s, 6:30?" "Oskar’s." He confirmed. "I'll save you a tall, cold one." “You’re an angel, you know that?” "I wouldn't go that far. My halo is held up by horns” “Even Prometheus was an angel at some point, Y/N.” He replied as you reached the corner of the street where you would part. Him towards the office, you back home. You rolled your eyes and shook your head. "I'll see you tonight." At that he gave you another quick hug, his hand rubbing your back over the top of your light jacket before you headed your separate ways.

You enjoyed the walk home. It gave you the perfect chance to just mellow out and walk off a bit of your breakfast. You tucked your hands into the pockets for your vest, your white thermal keeping your arms covered. You headed down Pearl Street, watching as the little shops and boutiques began to set up their patios and side walk spaces for their Saturday. You took in the clean fresh mountain air deep into your lungs and allowed a warm smile to cross your lips. 

From Pearl to 9th you went, hooking a right up 9th until you walked to the corner of Pine, and onto the porch of the nice and spacious condo you closed escrow on just weeks ago. 

That deep feeling of home greeted you as you stepped inside, wiping your boots on your door mat just before kicking them off and setting them by the back door you’d come through. The cream walls invited you in, the oak furniture and fixtures, a feature that reminded you of home, the decor you grew up with, a safe place. 

You'd bought the condo outright with the money you'd inherited from Ransom's untimely death and subsequent estate. You knew before you'd even stepped foot into the property initially, that it'd become yours. The week you closed escrow, you and your parents moved you into the three bedroom, three and a half bath condo, never looking back. 

The open floor plan and panoramic views had stolen your breath and it was then, the first night your parents had left you alone, too anxious to sleep alone, you had fallen in love with the sunrise, seeing it from your front garden patio, bundled up with tea and a wool blanket. All three rooms in the space had no adjoining walls and their own en-suites. The master bedroom, your room, was massive. An en-suite with walk in shower, soaking tub and Jack and Jill sinks. Two walk in closets that you knew you'd probably never fill completely, an Eastwardly view and balcony. The two spare rooms, were separated, one on the second floor down the hall from yours where it's balcony looked West, as it were above the garage and the third on the top and final floor with its own balcony. That was your office space, a spot for you to work and to breathe in the fresh air. 

Everything in that condo was yours, down to the logs you'd put in your fireplace and the silly little amenities you'd given yourself from knickknacks to the colour of your dishes. There was one space however you left untouched. And only your parents had been inside to pack away your unused things as storage space. That room was your basement. You didn't need to go down there, you figured if you needed something from there, you'd go buy it anyway. All that was truly stored down there anyway were things from your childhood your mother insisted on you bringing along.

As if her ears were burning, your phone buzzed from your back pocket, revealing your mother calling. 

"Hey, Mom." You answered. 

"Hi, honey. I was just calling to see how you were doing. Check in on you." You could hear the worry in her voice and you couldn't help but smile. 

"I'm really good, Mom. It’s been good here." "You still hiking every day?" She sounded hopeful now.  "Lately it's just been on the weekends. I've been really busy at work, which isn't exactly a bad thing either." You had made your way to your room, looking for some lounge pants to change into while you continued your conversation.  "Well, busy is a blessing. Do you have anything planned for today or...."  "Uh, well I just had breakfast with a friend from work who I'm also meeting for drinks later." You smirked at the thought.  There was a joyful sigh that poured into your ear from the ear piece, "Oh, this friend wouldn’t happen to be the mysterious Andy you’ve name dropped the last few calls would it?"  You hesitated, "y..ye...yeah." Then you heard the tell-tale sound of your mother's chuckle. “We’re just friends.” "I'm not saying anything." You could picture her with her hands held up in defence. "You sound happy." “I am. I feel okay, more than okay even. I’m good.” "Alright. Well, don’t waste your day. Enjoy it. Your dad and I will talk soon." “Yeah, listen Mom, why don’t you come over for a few days in a couple of weeks? You’ve not been since the week you came to help me move in. It would be nice to show you round now I’ve got my bearings.” "We would love that. I'll have your father look at booking some time." “Okay just let me know. Tell Daddy I said hi.” "I will, sweetie. Love you, bye.” "I love you too, Mom, bye." The seventeenth of July, a date that you hope one day will come to mean nothing and be like any other day. But for now, it was a sting that reminded you of all that had happened. Not unlike Halloween, a day in which you'll forever hold in a fearful anxious place in your soul. It served as a reminder of the moment your life had taken a very dark turn, a darkness that you were still, in a lot of ways, finding your way through. Ransom. His name still tasted sour on your tongue. But left a sadness over your heart like a sheer curtain. You had truly hoped he wasn't going to revert back to the beast that held you captive. But you were wrong, and post the revelation of the real reason he had taken you, he’d been far more brutal and cruel than he had with you before, something you’d thought was impossible. And he’d broken you for a second time, or so you’d let him think. Desperate to escape his clutches, you’d done the only thing you could- you’d killed him. Whilst you may not have held the knife, you’d arranged it all. And, even though it had been an absolute last resort, you’d be lying if you said there hadn’t been a satisfaction to watching him bleed out and choke on his own blood. The realisation that had clouded his arrogantly handsome features as he came to understand it was your doing would be forever etched into your brain. That said, it made you feel a little bit queasy when you thought about how taking someone’s life could make you feel a sick sense of pleasure. The nightmares had plagued you for months after. The torture which sleep brought you only ceased around the time things were settled within the system between you and his parents. With a deep sigh and the need for distraction, you set about some spot cleaning in between loads of laundry and by early afternoon you had settled in on your couch with a beer and your latest box set binge. Not two episodes in and your phone pinged next to you.

With a smirk, you snapped a photo of your beer bottle in your hand and a few moments later his response came through.

The angel made you laugh, a direct reference to his teasing before. But before you could reply, you got another text with simply saying “fuck it” along with a picture of a tumblr of whiskey on his desk. With a snort you replied

With a smile you tossed your phone down onto the seat beside you, and resumed your watching.

***** Andy was kidding when he playfully said he'd be there by 6:45, fully intending on their agreed upon 6:30. But, he was late. He'd been so involved with his brief that he'd lost track, and for the first time since meeting her, was late for a meet up with Y/N. She was fully understanding as he'd text her apologizing for the time as he'd rushed out of the office and quickly headed for Pearl Street. He'd gotten very lucky with close parking and literally stepped inside Oskar's Taproom promptly at 6:45. He found Y/N sitting at the bar, her hair down, a nicely fitted black tee and skinny denim jeans, her foot tapping against her bar stool in waiting. Next to her was an empty stool and a full, cold looking tall pilsner on the bar, saving his space.

"Hey," he said as he leaned into her, a gentle hand on her back, getting her attention.

Y/N startled a bit but realized it was Andy and grinned, "'bout time! I was going to get started on yours without you." She nodded to the cold beer.  “I’m so sorry.” He shook his head, “I just got caught up.” "Well, you haven't stood me up yet, so I trusted you'd show." “And I did tell you 6:45 before. You know, on account of you being a cheeky little shit.” She rolled her eyes at him, "whatever." She smirked. He slid onto the stool next to her and took a long pull of his beer, damned it tasted good. He gave an appreciative sigh and turned to her. “So, do anything much this afternoon?” "I did absolutely nothing, well nothing of importance. Talked to my mom, did laundry, you know nothing exciting." “To be honest, sounds like a pretty good afternoon.” He chuckled. “Sometimes there’s nothing better than laying in front of the TV with no where you have to be.” "Cheers to that," she raised her glass to him. He clinked his with hers and returned the smile she had. The blues band that was set to play happy hour was starting to tune up and it gave Andy an idea. "What do you say we find a spot in the patio, little less noise." “Sounds good.” She nodded. Andy flagged the bartender down for another round to take with them. But before Y/N could pick up her glass, Andy took it for her and gestured with her head for her to go on in front. She looked a little surprised at his act of basic good manners, and not for the first time. He'd often seen her look at him in a similar way when he held doors open for her or helped her with her jacket. It made him wonder what kind of asshole Drysdale had been. But, then again, he got the impression it hadn’t been a particularly happy relationship to start. Not that it was any of his business, nor was he one to talk. The last seven months he’d been married to Laurie had been as strained as they'd ever got. They found a spot at a two top near the corner of the patio at the gate that separated it from the sidewalk. Andy waited for Y/N to sit before he set their glasses on the high top table and took his own seat. "So...much better," he leaned in across the table. "Love this place, but it's not always the best for conversation." “Yeah but it has a good atmosphere.” She smiled. “I like it. Not the type of place that-“ she stopped dead and took a deep breath. “Doesn’t matter.” He half smiled, "you know, I've been meaning to tell you, it's okay to talk to me about anything you want. No pressure, no strings. Just a friendly ear." She smiled. “I know, thanks. And the same goes for you too.” For the first time, an interesting silence came between them. They each sipped their drinks in an almost a mirrored like fashion and chuckled when through. "I think that's the first time we've ever not had something to say." Y/N shrugged. He nodded, and then she took a deep breath. “I was just gonna say its not the type of place Ransom would ever have taken me. He’d have thought it beneath him.” "I think that's the first time you've ever mentioned his name." He pointed out. "Yeah, I try not to. It's uh," he watched her as she struggled to start her story, playing nervously with the earring in her ear. "Complicated." He leaned on the table, his forearms crossed and supporting his weight. He wanted her to know she had his full attention. “Well, from what I know about him, which granted is only what I saw on the news or heard around Boston, he certainly enjoyed the finer things in life.” "That's one way of looking at." She chuckled dryly. "It wasn't an easy marriage, despite how short lived." "Well, I was with Laurie since law school and we still had our ups and downs. I don't think marriage is easy in general." Andy admitted. "I was with Ransom less than nine months before we got married. It, uh, lasted three weeks."

Andy paused, “okay, so granted Laurie and I were a whirlwind what with her falling pregnant so fast but... I’ll give you that one.” “A whirlwind?” She asked and Andy nodded. “Yeah, we hadn’t even been together a year when she got pregnant with Jake. Not gonna lie, I shit myself but...” he sighed, swallowing. “Well, he was worth it.” "I'm sure he was." She nodded. Andy cleared his throat. “He was a good kid, despite what he, well what he was accused of.” “I can’t even begin to imagine how that felt, for any of you.” She said gently. “Fucking shit.” He said bluntly. She blinked and then the pair of them laughed quietly. "I'm sorry, Andy. And I mean that in all sincerity." He sighed and gave a soft little smile. “Thanks. You know, for the most part it’s just happy memories. But then sometimes it’s hard...” he trailed off shaking his head, “but of course you’ll know that.” “Suppose so.” She shrugged. “I doubt our marriage was anything near as loving as yours. I, uh...well, Ransom was mentally abusive, very controlling. Getting married wasn't exactly what I'd wanted but, I felt trapped in a way." She paused as he listened intently. "I guess it's harder to explain than I thought." She bit her lip and then shook her head. “Then the asshole went and got himself killed.” "I hate that you had to witness that." She shrugged and her finger swiped at the condensation on the outside of her half empty beer glass. “It was a year ago today.” “Jesus fucking Christ.” Andy shook his head in shock as he took a deep breath. “I’m so sorry.” “I’m not.” She sighed. “And I know that probably sounds awful but... I don’t mourn him, I can’t. Not after everything. I’m just glad to be away and out of it. Fuck, that makes me sound like a really cold hearted bitch.” She scrunched her nose and chuckled a bit. Andy cocked his head to one side, studying her face which was, despite what she said, laced with sadness and he took a deep breath. There was more to her story than she was telling him, he could see that, but he had his own secrets too. And he found himself realising he didn’t care. Moving away post the accident that claimed Jake and later Laurie’s life had been a way for him to leave all that shit behind. And she was trying to do the same. “Okay, let’s make a deal.” He leaned forward. “No reverse gear. We look forward and not back, at least not at the hard stuff.” It took a moment for her to process it, and Andy watched her expression behind her eyes as he did so. Then she smiled, "deal." Andy smiled as she reached for her beer. He watched her pretty face as she drained her glass, setting it down in the table before she leaned towards him. “Have you eaten? Because I’ve suddenly got a hankering for something greasy and very bad for me.” “Sounds like someone I used to work with.” Andy shot before he could stop himself and Y/N threw her head back in a loud laugh. “Lawyers for you.” “Hey, not all of us are jerks.” He pouted and she shrugged. “Jury’s out.” She winked. At that Andy raised his brows, downed the rest of his pint and then stood up. “Something dirty and greasy that isn’t an attorney coming up, I’ll grab us a menu.” They each ordered a greasy, filthy cheeseburger with all the fixings and two smaller beers a piece to go with it. They moved their conversation away from their pasts and talked music as the band played some songs they were familiar with. Y/N finding the perfect moment to joke with Andy again about his age versus hers, despite it being maybe seven or eight years. Neither seemed to mind.  Again, when the bill came, Andy slapped his card down before Y/N even had a chance to grab her wallet, which caused him to laugh loudly at her pout. “You’ll just have to get it next time.” “Oh," she smirked, "so that’s your game? You paid, so I owe you a next time?” He shrugged. “Would that be such a bad thing?��� She bit her lip and grinned with a shake of her head. “No, not really.” “Good, I’ll hold you to that. And, as a lawyer I feel obliged to tell you that’s a legally recognised verbal contract.” “Uh, I’m sure there’s a rule that a social agreement made between friends is done so without an intention of being enforceable.” Y/N shot back and Andy felt his mouth curl up on a little surprised smirk. “Therefore no intent, no legal comeback. Your move, Counselor.” He laughed and shook his head. “Nope, I got nothing.” “In that case, I call recess.” She grinned. “Oh faahk off with the legal puns!” Andy snorted and once more she laughed as they stood up, their night at an end. He walked behind Y/N with a gentle hand on her back as she weaved through the tables on the patio, eventually ending up on the sidewalk out front.

"Thanks, for breakfast, dinner, drinks," Y/N shook her head, feigning annoyance. Andy smirked, "thanks for meeting me. You're not walking home are you?" "I can, it's not far." She replied, folding her arms over her chest.

"Absolutely not, I'll take you," he nodded his head in the direction in which his car was. He gave a small wink when she accepted his offer. He held the door open for you as you slid into the passenger seat of his Audi TT. You quickly realized that this was the first time you'd been in his car and the very first time he would see your doorstep. However, the thought of both those things didn't bother you one bit. In fact, you found yourself more comfortable than you'd expected.

All in all the drive was no more than five minutes, and if he hadn’t been going that way already, you’d have felt like a complete fraud, but he assured you it was on his way.

You helped yourself out but Andy waited for you around the front hood and walked you to your doorstep, lit by the lantern porch light your Home Owners Association contract insisted be up. "So, this is me," you sighed. Andy had his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans and he rocked a little on his heels as he waited for you to open your front door. When you'd opened it, he scratched behind his neck and said, "so I'll see you Monday?" "Yeah," you agreed. He turned to go but you called out to him, "Hey, Andy?" He quickly turned back to you, his one foot on your stoop, the other the next step down, "yeah?" In a sudden moment of courage, you stood on your toes and placed a soft kiss to his cheek. His smooth cheek and the slightly rough yet softer than anticipated scratch of those dark whiskers, intermittent speckled with auburn, felt amazing against your lips. And fuck, did he smell amazing. Which you knew already from the tight and friendly hugs he'd seemed to start giving you. The first hit of his aftershave was always the same, dominated by a white-out of bergamot and pepper, a bright flash of sweet, dewy citrus that is both crisp and clean, underpinned by a freshness that was both light and gentle and completely different to the heavy sandalwood based fragrance you’d grown so used to. It was brief, but when you pulled back, you gave a content huff, “Huh.” “What?” He was clearly puzzled. “Your beard. It’s kinda soft.” “What? What the hell did you expect?” He laughed. “I dunno, maybe a toilet brush type bristle.” “You kiss a lot of toilet brushes Y/N?” “Try not to.” She winked. “Thanks again, Andy. I enjoyed today.” He chuckled and shook his head as he watched you turn back to your door and finally stepped inside your home. Before you closed the door, you turned back, noticing he was watching you go in. "Bye."

"Goodnight, Y/N."

**** Chapter 2

[heckyeahponyscans]

hi! i’m not very into MLP myself (i love the ponies/designs but haven’t been into it since i was a kid) but i love collection and toy based fandoms, especially older ones like MLP! i really enjoy reading your posts about being in the old web fandom and i was wondering if, besides finding old sites on the wayback machine, there are any “oral history” type write-ups on the history of the fandom? the fanlore page was only about friendship is magic and i am just itching to know more. thanks!!

Ahhh, the best repository of that was probably the old version of the MLP Trading Post, but unfortunately after they moved the old board eventually went under. (What happened was MLPTP.com + the board was run by a user named Jenn, but at some point she dropped out of communication. So the mods registered MLPTP.net, created a new board, and everything migrated over there.)

Probably the biggest early fandom event was the absolute chaos that followed the release of the G2 ponies in 1997.

Now keep in mind up to this point the G1 ponies were the only My Little Ponies to ever have existed. So when people heard MLP was coming back they assumed they would be in the same molds; what ELSE would a My Little Pony look like?

Well, the G2s looked radically different: smaller, skinnier, and with fox-like heads.

After the initial shock died down, MLP collectors split into two groups: people who liked the G2s and people who hated the G2s. (Full disclosure, I was 100% in the latter camp, I thought they were awful, lol. I do have a small collection of them now though.)

In theory liking or disliking a toy is unimportant, but in fandom EVERY little thing is important, so a pony civil war broke out. Groups were created to promote / protest "the new ponies", banners were displayed on websites, passionate arguments were made for either side, and flame wars broke out constantly.

Among the craziness I remember:

- someone saying not liking the new ponies "was a hate crime"

- HQT (High Queen Tiffany) starting a petition for Hasbro to bring back the old ponies and getting so much flak that she ended up taking down her whole site; this sent shockwaves through the community as she had the second- or third-largest MLP fan site at the time, including one of the most active message boards.

- and someone on the Pony People Mailing List saying people who didn't like the new ponies were Nazis, and getting lambasted for comparing genocide of real people to toys.

If you're thinking "Wow, that sounds dumb" . . . absolutely, lol!

But that's not to say the fandom wasn't any fun; there were also friendships formed, people chatting about who their favorite pony was, people trading ponies, the international ponies being discovered--it was a robust community, overall a blast, and the G2 civil wars were just a little sliver of all the activity.

Subsequent MLP generations, like G3, did not get a strong reaction because a) people had gotten used to the idea of different pony gens looking different and b) the community was no longer mainly hot-blooded teenagers eager for a fight. Now we were tired 20-somethings working retail jobs. (Also the G3s looked really close to G1s, soooo, yeah, pretty universally loved.)

I do think the Old Fandom instinct to go for the throat is much healthier than the brony "love and tolerance towards anyone who calls themself a brony" attitude; never assume someone is your friend just because of a shared hobby. Some fandom folk you meet will be nice, some will suck, that's just how it goes.