#I have a LOT of thoughts regarding tarot but I’ll hold off for now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

plutoswrath · 3 years

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i’m jealous of your big heart when it comes to animals lmao. i’m arachnophobic and it can be so annoying to have sometimes. i haven’t been able to tie it back to astrology, as much as i would like to. i asked because i was wondering if there was a clear indicator based off certain placements like how 6th house rules animals, 6th is ruled by mercury so i jumbled them even though i probs shouldn’t have lol. and with venus it ties to personal taste so i wondered if it could indicate a liking towards a certain animal. i have sag and sag venus in 6th and embarrassingly enough, i was obsessed with horses. like i came out of the womb adoring them. as soon as i learned to talk i was a walking horse encyclopedia. my obsession died down. i’m not a horse girl, i swear on my life.

i agree with you about the cancer loving animals. animals are babies and momma cancer loves to nurture the babies. i feel like cancers are the most likely to hate the “are you a dog or cat person” question. they’d get offended because how dare someone assume their heart isn’t big enough for both. more than both, really. throw a turtle in there. a rabbit even. cancer asc peeps usually have a shit ton of animals. it’s probably the sag/abundance in the 6th. or they either own a horse or Great Dane. but this is off topic because i forgot i had a follow up question.

if you could tie an animal or a couple animals to each sign that you think best represents that sign? or just seems like one they’d like? some are so easy and others just leave me blank. my arachnophobia thinks scorpio’s deserve better than scorpions but my terror blinds me. but i was looking up the symbolism behind animals and tying them to signs. so far, i’ve concluded that while horses should go with sag, their highly intuitive and empathetic animals. their behavior is like a mirror so if you’re nervous, they are too. so pisces or cancer actually seems to be a better fit. and to stay on topic of cancer with animals, i always tie wolves and dogs in general to cancer. the wolves are tied to the moon and familial dynamics and also i think they’re a great symbolic opposition to leo and how leos tend to resemble cats. sun and moon, dog and cat, night and day, that sort of thing. i realized i’ve rambled but i’m looking forward to your opinion because i’m so lost on what other signs would have. it’s been a year old question in my brain and it’s time for help from the master.

I'm sorry to hear that, I'm had a friend once who was arachnophobic and having phobias like these is really no fun, I can't imagine what it feels like really having them. And omg don't feel bad for liking horses when you were a child, literally so many children, especially young girls, like horses simply because people decided horses where a 'teenage girls only' thing somehow?? (and I will have to dig deeper into this at a point because here where I come from the horse girl thing is soooo painfully real and I want to understand the phenomena). And if I'm not mistake, arachnophobia (like most types of phobias), stem from some kind of trauma right? I absolutely don't try to get to personal but if we look at phobias in that way, maybe it's good to also include looking at planets/asteroids that point to trauma or aspects that can represent/indicate traumatic experiences in that sense! And I agree wholeheartedly to the 'dog or cat' question, I don't get offended by it but I hate this question in general because every animal deserves my love and empathy adfghj and yes, mother feelings definitely play into this haha! I think cancers enjoy (to an extent) having that occasional (or constant) outlet for their nurturing side and the bound you have to animals is also very intuitive and requires a lot of patience and getting educated as well as being observant and reading between the lines somehow and all that dedication paired with emotional knowledge just really speaks to water signs in general (and animals don't judge openly with words, just your energy asdfgh) Uhh, I like the question regarding the animals and I agree with your takes on it so far!! I think one animal can not represent all the core traits of a sign alltogether, but I'll try my best here! and psdfghj no need to call me master because I'm literally so far from anything close to that but thank you so much still, I feel honored really!!

The Signs as Animals:

Disclaimer: some of them are inspired by my ‘the Wild Unknown Animal Spirit’ tarot deck.

Aries: House cat. I know, I always thought cats actually link pretty well to Aries! Cats are just the perfect mixture of intelligen and curious, reserved, stubborn, aggressive, senstive as well as playful/impulsive! They are quick to learn and not afraid to face off against any other, bigger animals, but also can live pretty well together with other pets in the house, as long as they don‘t bother them too much. Especially when it comes to intimacy/pda they are very picky, but forceful when demand it. Seem flexible and unbothered at first but actually have the firmest boundaries when it comes to their personal freedom. Will let you believe they need you but give it a few weeks and the neighbor has better treats than you and gone they are asdfgh, but it's actually a harmful stereotype to believe that cats don't need you because they can become extremely fond of you and grow very attached.

Taurus: Elk. Based on the interpretation of my tarot deck. The elk represents earth energy, it is grounded, is established in itself and knows their core values and acts according to them. They show consistency, coherence and care. Dedicated to who they love and what they care for. Can become narrow minded due to knowing what's best, based on their perception of what's right and necessary, which can effect their ego negatively. Very Taurus for me. Gemini: Dragonfly. I refer to the interpretation of the Dragonfly based on my tarot deck. The dragonfly represents the mind: everchanging, quick, fascinating, a reflection of the world inside us and aroudn us. As the dragonfly is very quick (refering to Mercury's fast and nervous energy) the dragonfly also calles for paying attention to what quality our mind has and to become mindful, because on first glance things always appear different tahn on first glance (Mercury floats between detail-oriented and paying attenetion and being too fast, impatient). The dragonfly is joy and magic, as well as impatience, restlessness and being unable to concentrate. Cancer: Killer Whales (but also whales in general)! I thought especially about Killer Whales, because I once watched a documentary on them and they went in depth about how they have different cultures and different languages even (if I remember correctly) in their familys. Cancer often gets associated with the home life, but I think I wanted to look at it from another perspective, as in how does family 'become' family and how do those family roots develope, what do they consist of, how do we define family and what holds it together (and especially: how do our roots shape our own emotional patterns and nature in life?). I think the mystery of the Killer Whales but the whole complexity that lies behind the fascination of how these animals function and also how deeply affected Killer Whales are by their emotions/when they are absent from their kin, just opens up another big question of family dynamics and how we relate to one another and how principles we always condoned to human beings now apply to animals too. I think the whole part about the Killer Whales relation to emotions and their family's cultures just really made me link them to Cancer. Leo: Otter. I refer o the meaning of teh Otter based on my tarot deck. The Otter resembles the energy of the inner child: it's pure bliss, playfulness, they love to live and live for life itself, and out of this eagerness to enjoy life comes also a contentment and completeness towards life itself. To reconnect with otter energy, it is advised to step into settings of celebration, or total creative self expression and from the outside looking 'unproductive/selfish' indulgence. But actually, this energy is what makes life so enjoyable in the first place.

Virgo: Octopus. Highly intelligent beings that can quickly adapt and take the initiative. Self sufficient by nature, they aren't aggressive unless provoked, they like to mind their business unless they get curious (then they cling heavy onto you because you are their new object of interest). They can change color if it's needed (Virgo is a mutuable sign and can blend in perfectly in social occasions/new situations) and tbh the inking part about octopus just reminds me of the fact that most Virgos have a really quirky side to them you only get to see when you annoy them long enough (aka you are a long term friend). Libra: Gazelle. I refer to the meaning of ten Gazelle based on my tarot deck. The gazelle combines the creation of beauty and harmony, creativity and hyper awareness of it's surroundings, very affected of the imbalances in it's environment, but in it's try to remain this beauty around them, they tend to forget their achievments and stay in the present with their thoughts, as they constantly wheigh out the 'what if's'. A very perceptive animal in the tarot deck and this attribute is equally it's strong suit and downfall. Scorpio: Tiger. I refer here to the meaning of the Tiger based on my tarot deck. Waits in stillness and darkness to reconnect to their own inner power. Healing in isolation with the help of the lunar forces, waiting to regenerate. The Tiger energy shows itself in being passionate, sensual and stepping into ones own power, recognizing ones strength. For me, this is very Scorpio (Moon) for me. When the Tiger in unbalanced, it becomes overstimulated and acts according to this hyperawareness. Sagittarius: Zebra. I refer here to the meaning of the Zebra based on my tarot deck. The Zebra stands for an open mind, visionary and eccentric, new thinking, as well as being young at heart and expansion. I personally connect horses with passion and drive, because they are truly powerhouses. Based on the meaning of my tarit deck, the Zebra also is sociable, at least people find themselves drawn to the energy of the Zebra because it triggers their desire to learn, and I think this is something very beautiful Sagittarius symbolizes when they come into your life: be prepared to broaden your horizon for more.

Capricorn: Camel. I refer to the meaning of the Camel based on my tarot deck. Camels here represent absolute dependence on self and being able to find the answer to problems in oneself. This self reliance and capability reminds me of capricorns, the camel is finding the 'cool' aka water inside of them and Capricorn is traditionally also symbolized as the sea-goat (which I seriously think should really be considered when anaylzing this archetype) and Capricorns have (imo at least) a rich emotional life, but it's just deeply locked within. The Camel represents showing responsibility for their own actions, regulating the self and circumstances around them as best as they can, which makes sense for Capricorns, ruled by Saturn they usually are confronted with task in their life. If the Camel energy is out of balance, it shows a lack of vitality, with Capricorn representing the senior age in life makes sense, especially since Capricorns can tend to feel very old (exhausted)- Aquarius: Platypus- and no, I’m not using the Platypus because ‚wow all Aquarius are so weird like straight up aliens 🤪🤪’ I think the platypus is a good representation because it makes us question what we’ve known so far about animals and Aquarius too is a sign that introduces us to new ideas and perspectives all in the favor of progress and considering alternatives, leaving the status quo. Pisces: Raven/Crow. I name these two in particular because as far as I know it’s only the ravens that have been documented intimating people’s voices and tones, but crows are definitely more known for their bright mind. For me people often forget Pisces mutable nature and how quick witted they actually are. These birds are hyper intelligent and their observational skills are truly amazing. In my Wild Uknown Animal Spirit deck, the crow is an animal carrying 3rd eye energy. Here, the view is clear, the crow is moving through different dimensions and sees what other’s cant. For and the emotional depth (void) Pisces is conencted to it just seem to make sense.

#i swear i will be more active the next days #replies #anonymous #astrology #zodiac #the signs as #the signs as animals

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chemicalpink · 3 years

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Hey, I hope you are doing good this was a thing that was wondering me so there are lot of bts future spouse /soulmate/twinflame videos being made on youtube and honestly everyone is being psychic like it has become a shitshow and what was previously just for curiosity fun and entertainment are becoming extremely emotionally invested in the topic especially for maknae line soulmate it would be interesting if the can do a tarot reading or your spiritual experience why is the future spouse saga turning ugly and does universe what us to know something through it !? Because it's becoming pretty crazy right now

Okay so I believe that yes, the spiritual part has a lot to do behind this occurrence, but I also think its roots lay on psicosocial matters and honestly I could go on for days about this but I’ll try to restrict it to a few points that you’ve mentioned

Why all of a sudden everyone seems to be tarot readers/astrologers/psychic?

The capitalism behind celebrities and how does that play a part in what is going on?

Are these people accurate at all?

How does energy shifting play a part in this?

Is the soulmate journey even something a third person would be able to note?

But first a Disclaimer: this opinion/rant is based on my experience with spirituality, I am obviously a mere mortal, so I do not hold the absolute truth. Spirituality is a constant learning process and it is open to discussion and interpretation of each person. I am also now a proud sociologist graduate that specialises in a lot of the stuff that has to do with what anon is asking, I’m a social behaviouralist applied to the entertainment industry as well but I’ll also provide my resources in the end.

A/N: Some of you might not yet be ready to read all of this, if I see ANY of you trying to start beef with me, even after the disclaimer, I'm gonna block you. If you want to talk more about it or want to discuss it further, DO SO OFF ANON. ISTG you’ve been warned, I’ve been working on this for the longest time, it even has resources to back all of it up! I’m so glad anon asked, I’m done being diplomatic on this topic (I know people that usually ask stuff are so respectful and i love you guys for it, this note is for those people that regularly jump on my asks to stir things up)

You guys are in for a whole academic article if you decide to read this

SO FUN AND EXCITINGGGG Let us start with behavioural economics as our base to understand the whole phenomenon, it's such a broad and kinda complex concept (especially since I’m trying to extrapolate it to this particular scenario) so let me do my best. It has a lot to do with trend following, although at least to me, it's unclear how exactly this content came to be (soulmate readings, channeling messages, etc) I am guessing it had something to do with an intersectionality between the general spirituality boom that we’ve met with during the pandemic and some person that just as any other marketable opportunity, saw a bridge between fandom life and this spiritual life (both prominent trends in the last two years or so) and honestly, it worked perfectly, whatever their initial intentions were, they threw out a new “product” and it kind of sold itself, two different trends coming together… turned into a behavioural game theory where if you played the part that allows your content to be consumed, you’ll get rewarded for it. In more simple words, tarot meets fandoms (alternatively, tarot meets BTS) is great as it is! but the fan behaviour (which we’ll talk about in a bit) positions the most private parts of the celebrities’ lives to be much more interesting than things that we are already able to see (personal experience, love readings do so much better than idk career readings and it all comes down to behavioural trends of perceiving ‘love’ as something very intimate)

Now, this is where we’ll begin to talk about capitalism as a whole, even in non-monetary systems like social media, where it takes more of a rewarding system via likes, views, reblogs, etc. The whole principle of us living in such a system is being aspirational, we see others profiting off of something, we might want to reach out and do the same so we can profit ourselves, which honestly, I think is what happened with the whole BTS soulmate readings boom, they get a lot of attention, and as a basic market law, as demand goes up and a few people that initially did these readings are no longer capable to satisfy the need of the people wanting to know all the tea, there are market opportunities for other people to do the same thing and increase the offer, although since this whole theory is behavioural, it is very context-dependant, which ends up not following the principle of the consumers being rational about how much and what content they consume, they just sort of consume all of it, regardless of whether the content creator is qualified to offer such content or not, which ultimately only adds onto a never ending cycle of more people claiming they are tarot readers/astrologers/psychics and fear nothing because this is the internet, you don't really have to enter any qualifications to be able to create content, whether someone is reliable in internet terms is basically all about how many likes they’ve got (which is why I always tell you guys to please consume content responsible).

When it comes to accuracy- I guess that’s the hardest part of all, we can’t just have pointers that would automatically tells us if someone’s craft is valid or not, since everyone’s craft is different all craft is valid to a certain extent (you can easily find scammers of course but that’s another story) what we can have are personal standards and deciding what content to consume or whose content to consume, but that’s entirely a personal decision and since so many people are invested in it- it seems really hard that these “market tendencies” might change any time soon. On that same note of accuracy, I really feel the need to talk about a major occurrence I’ve come across in this whole soulmate scene, minors. Now, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a minor and approaching spirituality (I was very much a minor when I started) but there’s a huge difference between just playing around and deciding to create content for the whole world to have access to. Of course I’m aware not all tarot readers in the BTS fandom are minors, and ARMY is very diverse and even if they were only minors it would be wrong to invalidate them, but we can’t ignore the statistics of it when touching this particular topic, according to 2020 data, 50,31% of ARMY are below 18 years old, and 42,59% are between 18-29 but why is this important? because the exact historical and economic moment we are living in mainly impacts these two age groups, thus making all 92,90% of ARMY a potential target to consuming or falling in a behavioural game theory of creating this content without them necessarily being qualified for it. But hey, why do you keep talking about the importance of being qualified? Glad you asked, creating spiritual content all comes down to one amazing term: accountability.

And this will explore two main phases of it, one applicable for that 50,31% that could potentially be drawn to create spiritual content and other for the 42,59% that could potentially be dragged to creating that content without much spiritual knowledge. For the first one, it has a lot to do with cognitive aspects, young people tend to do stuff without much further thought about how their actions impact other people, which, as they should, they are kids, they shouldn’t have to worry too much about emotional responsibility as us adults do, furthermore, they are in life stages where they can’t really comprehend many abstract concepts that we later learn in life, and spirituality is one of those concepts, so they tend to just have fun with it with no regards on how their content might impact other minors (this is where the whole feeding a false scenario that is potentially delusional in exchange of more views, likes comes into play) on a more spiritual level, they also aren’t able to comprehend the boundaries of the celebrities they’re reading for, us readers have to always be careful about the information we give out since it is not ours to give. As for the second group, some of this is still applicable since theorists consider a full cognitive maturity until 23 years of age, but since it is very intersectional itself, i would found it more to a spiritual responsibility, since they are young adults, and if they haven’t been spiritually guided as kids, they’re most probably eager to learn and just awakening yet to some of them the drive to this spirituality is content creation instead of inner work, so they get their hands on a tarot deck, might kind of read a few things, call it a day and start reading for BTS (note: not all of them, I’m aware)

As for the maknae line being the most sought out people with this content, I guess it kinda makes sense now that I’ve said all of the information above, maknae line is closest to the age group of 92,90% of ARMY, so they instantly become more marketable to this content creation and the whole Game Theory that we are seeing. With all that being said, and just adding a note coming from my own spiritual experience, soulmates in any form are a difficult topic for a third person to prode, which is why I, personally, tend to not touch that topic, love is one hell of a concept, especially since we all have different conceptions of love and interpersonal relationships. I do know for a fact that there’s only so far we can go in terms of fated connections, like with astrology, but even then, we would have to know their birth times exactly (so we can check for any indicator or a soulmate connection), and/or compare BTS with the rest of the world’s population in order to accurately tell if someone has a soulmate synastry/overlay/composite with them. Also, soulmate journeys are intimate and we are all just fans, what right do we even have to look for things that do not and will never belong to us?

This is why I’m always telling you guys to PLEASE consume content responsibly! Really! Us content consumers also have our part to play that can help us get more accurate, more drama-free content

REFERENCES (what? you thought I was joking? they’re in alphabetical order)

ARMYCENSUS 2020

Loewenstein, G., O’Donoghue, T., & Rabin, M. (2003). Projection bias in predicting future utility. Quarterly Journal of Economics, 118(4), 1209-1248.

March, J. G. (1978). Bounded rationality, ambiguity, and the engineering of choice. The Bell Journal of Economics, 9(2), 587-608.

Markus, H. R., & Kitayama, S. (1991). Culture and the self: Implications for cognition, emotion and motivation Psychological Review, 98, 224-253.

Mazar, N., Amir, O., & Ariely, D. (2008). The dishonesty of honest people: A theory of self-concept maintenance. Journal of Marketing Research, 45(6), 633-644.

Murphy, S. T., & Zajonc, R. B. (1993). Affect, cognition, and awareness: Affective priming with optimal and suboptimal stimulus exposures. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 64, 723-729.

Samson, A., & Voyer, B. (2014). Emergency purchasing situations: Implications for consumer decision-making. Journal of Economic Psychology, 44, 21-33.

Schwartz, B. (2004). The paradox of choice: Why more is less. New York: Ecco.

Shah, A. K., & Oppenheimer, D. M. (2008). Heuristics made easy: an effort-reduction framework. Psychological Bulletin, 134(2), 207-222.

Thaler, R. H. (2015). Misbehaving: The making of behavioral economics. Allen Lane.

Thaler, R. H. (2008). Mental accounting and consumer choice. Marketing Science, 27, 15-25.

Wood, W., & Neal, D. T. (2009). The habitual consumer. Journal of Consumer Psychology, 19, 579-592.

#i really said: thesis? wHERE #im sorry i jump at any given opportunity to rant #especially if it gives me an opportunity to share knowledge with you guys

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write-orflight · 4 years

Text

Trouble: Chapter 3

*Gif not mine*

Pairings: HotchxReader

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Rating: M

Words: 3.5 K (She thick)

Warnings: Kinda Nsfw language, witch shit. idk

Request: OPEN/CLOSED

Summary: After Haley’s passing, Aaron Hotchner has lost the light in his eyes. He seems to find it it the most unlikely of places, an occult themed coffee shop ran by a witch.

A.N: Tarot, wicca, and crystal information is very secondhand if you see any inaccuracies, no you don’t.

Chapter 3: Trouble on my left, Trouble on my right

It’s been months since your late night rendezvous with Hotch and ever since the two of you have actually become good friends.

He would often stop by the shop after work which was typically while you were closing up. You’d brew tea (because Hotch had made the mistake of telling you he was having trouble sleeping) while he helped you out and stacked the chairs on the table so you could sweep later on. You’d sit at the bar talking about your days, sometimes he’d be upset either about a case or just in general and those days you would just talk and he would listen. One day, you’re talking about going to the park with Artie that morning and he stops you.

“How are you like this?” He asks.

“Like what, Gus?”

“This…” he says, gesturing to you. “Carefree, naive, happy.”

“I’m not naive.” You pout.

Hotch levels you with a look. “Maybe not in some ways. But you really are naive to how the world is sometimes.”

“I’d say I act the way I do because I’m aware of how the world is. I mean, am I more hyper-aware of serial killers now than I was before I started the shop here, yea. But you know, life is a gift, freedom is a gift, and love is a gift. So everyday I get to exercise those gifts is what makes me happy.” You smile, looking Aaron in his eye. He’s a lot closer than you thought he was. You notice his eyes drift to your mouth and back up to your eyes, but you don’t say anything. It still wasn’t the right time. “I’m free to live how I choose and love how I choose, what’s not to be happy about?”

“A lot.” He says, bluntly turning away from you. You don’t know what took over your but you bring your hand under his chin, turning him so he’s facing you again. You then move your hand to cup the side of his face, thumb stroking his high cheek bone. He seems to lean into your touch.

“I pray the goddess gifts you something to be happy about.” You say. Hotch, now being used to how you are, doesn’t look at you like you’re crazy. Just looks you in your eyes, intensely, somehow more intense than he’s ever looked at you.

“I think she has.”

-------------------------------------

You meet Jack some time after that. Aaron comes into the shop on a weekend day. Artie looks up from her coloring book.

“Hi, Mr. Aaron!” She says, lisping as she had lost her front teeth a couple of days ago. You look up when she says that to see Aaron approaching the register, a small boy gripping his hand. You immediately smile.

“Hey, Bean!” He says, as he approaches the register. You can’t help the way your heart swells. You don’t know when exactly Hotch started calling her Bean, everyone typically called her Artemis or Artie, per her request, you were the only one who got to call her Bean. But for some reason when he started also calling her Bean, Artie didn’t stop him.

“Hey Grumpy.” You say, softly. “And who is this?” you say, regarding the young boy next to him, squatting slightly so you could be eye level with him. You see Aaron nudge the quiet boy slightly.

“I’m Jack.” He says, quietly.

“Hi, Jack, I’m Y/N.” You smile at him.

“I like your hair.” He says.

“You do?” You say, exaggeratingly flipping it, inducing a chuckle from the boy.

“Yes, Green’s my favorite color.”

You gasp. “Would you believe it’s mine too?” He smiles, and nods at you. “What can I get you, Jack?”

He looks over at Aaron, who nods. “Can I have hot chocolate?”

“You got it, little gus.” You wink before looking up at Aaron. “Usual?” he nods, before helping Jack into the stool next to Artie and sitting next to them.

Artie looks over to the boy next to her and smiles widely. “Do you want to color? I have green.” She says. The boy silently nods fast and Artie hands him a paper and some of her color pencils. You and Hotch watch them for a second before turning to each other.

“How’re you today, Aaron?” You ask, drawing on Jack's cup while Aaron’s coffee was brewing.

“Better that I’m here.” He says, smiling at you.

You flush. “My stars, Mr. Hotchner. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were flirting with me.”

“And if I am?”

You clear your throat and turn away from him to focus on the coffee, positive your face was the same hue as a tomato. “So what’re the two of you doing with your day off?”

“We’re going to the aquarium!” Jack says, excitedly.

“Woah, the aquarium!” You say, matching his excitement. He nods, fastly.

“Yea, I figured to stop for coffee along the way.” Aaron says.

“Can we go to the aquarium, Mama?” Your child pipes, quietly behind you. Your heart breaks a little at her pouting face.

“I’m sorry, beanie. Mama has to work, maybe we can next week.” You say, softly. She nods but you can tell she's still sad. “The aquarium’s her favorite, sorry.” you say handing Aaron the cups over the counter.

“I can take her with us if you want. Her and Jack seem to get along and I don’t mind. Only if you’re comfortable with it though.”

“Really?” You say, he nods. “Would you want to go with Jack and Mr. Aaron to the aquarium?” You ask your daughter who smiles widely nodding. “Ok pack up your backpack first.” She makes quick work stuffing her books and colored pencils in her bag.

“Thanks again for this. I’ve been working so much we haven’t been able to do anything fun recently.” You say. “Let me give you money for her ticket.” Hotch immediately shakes his head at you.

“Not necessary.” He says.

“Let me pay you.”

“No, plus this can just be repayment for all the free coffee you’ve been giving me.” He says, smiling at you.

“Ok, but be careful. She’s a little con artist.”

Aaron just chuckles at you. “You guys ready?” He’s met with loud cheers from the children. He grabs the cup before leading them towards the door.

“Learn something, Artemis.” You call after your daughter.

------------------------------------

“Mama!” You hear as you’re sweeping. You weren’t typically closed this early but you wanted to spend the night with your child.

“Beanie!” You sway as the child comes bounding towards you, you sweep her up into a bear hug. You see Aaron lingering near the front of the shop watching the display. “Did you have fun?”

“Yes! Did you know the blue whale is the loudest animal in the world?”

“I did not know that.” You say. “Go thank Mr. Aaron and head upstairs, okay. I’ll be up in a second.”

Artie nods before running to collide with Hotch’s legs. Hotch let’s out a tiny ‘oof’ before hugging the girl back. “Thank you, Mr. Aaron.”

“No problem, bean. Goodnight.” He says watching her bound the stairs.

“We live above the shop.” You explain. He nods.

“I-uh got you this.” Aaron says, holding a turtle stuffed animal in front of him “Since you couldn’t come with us. Artie said they were your favorite animal.”

You laugh, taking the plushie from him. “Thank you, Aaron, this is really sweet. But cows are my favorite animal.” You smile and he looks at you confused. “Turtles however… are Artie’s favorite. I told you she was a con artist.”

You and Aaron laugh for a minute at how your six year old was able to pull one over on an FBI agent. “I’m sure she’ll love this though. How much do I owe you for this?”

Aaron shakes his head. “Nothing, she got me fair and square.”

“Aaron, you’ve gotta let me pay you back for some of this.”

“You could have dinner with me.” He says, bluntly.

“What?”

“Have dinner with me.”

Your brain short circuits for a second. Here was a man you’ve had a thing for quite some time bluntly asking you on a date. “Do I at least get to pay for dinner?”

“Of course not, is that a yes?”

“Yes, Aaron.” You say. A wide smile adorns his face. Those were rare and you can’t help the way your heart swoons. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

———————————————-

The following week you are paid a visit by Penelope.

“Hey Penny, what can I do for you?” You smile.

“I’m actually here on business but I will take a caramel mocha for my troubles.”

“You got it.” you say, grabbing a cup. “Now, what business are you here on?”

“I’m here to invite you to drink with us friday.” She smiles. “We’re going to O’malley’s and so are you.”

“Gee, I’d love to Pen, but I’ve got Artie and I’ve got to close up here so I don't know.”

“I’ll do that.” Silena adds in the corner. “I’ll help you close up early and then I’ll sit Artie. When’s the last time you went out?”

You shrug, it has been a while since you’ve interacted with adults outside of work.”

“Exactly. So go out with Penny and her friends. I’m assuming Aaron will be there?” Silena asks, Penelope nods excitedly.

“Oh ok... I see what this is. You’re setting me up when I said not to.” You say throwing a pointed look at them.

“I would never.” Silena says, incredulously, hand to her heart as if she was going to faint. “I just think you should go have fun. Drink, flirt, be merry. Frankly, I’m sick of seeing you always here.”

You narrow your eyes still not believing them. “Fine, I’ll go.”

The day of you and Silena are closing up shop. You finally take off your apron hanging it on the hook in the back of the cafe, blowing a breath. That last rush had kicked your butt and you almost wanted to take a nap but you had to take advantage of the free sitter time.

“So…” Silena starts as the two of you clean up the baking area. “What’re you going to wear?”

You look down at your clothes. “Uh… I was thinking of wearing this?”

“Your work clothes?!”

“What? It’s a t-shirt and pants. What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s just so… bleh. God, just because you’re a mom now doesn’t mean you have to dress like one. Your body is still hot as fuck, Y/N! Why not show it?”

“I don’t know, Sil. I’d just rather be comfortable.” You shrug.

“Well, you can’t wear that. It has a giant flour stain on the back.”

“What do you mean? What stai--” You’re cut off by Silena clapping you on the back, hand full of flour. You sputter over her loud laughs. “Silena this is my favorite shirt! And you’re cleaning that!”

“Relax, dummy, it’ll come off in the wash. And now you’ll have to wear something else.” She smiles, mischievously. “Hey, do you still have that leather skirt from college?”

“Jesus Sil, It’s a bar, not a frat party.”

-----------------------------------------------

You checked your hair and makeup again in your rearview mirror. God, you looked and felt like a clown. Silena had dressed you, despite your best wishes. You were wearing an all black two piece type dress. The top was a short sleeve turtleneck crop top that was tight around your chest. The bottom was a high waisted long maxi shirt that had a large slit up the right leg, leaving your thigh and calf exposed. Your tattoos that adorned your arms, thighs and stomach for sure were very exposed as well. You knew for a fact you were overdressed but Sil wouldn’t let you change.

You very hesitantly walked into the bar, clutching your bag. You look around for a familiar face until you hear your name.

“Y/N?” You hear Penny saying over the crowd. You turn to look at her and smile walking towards the group. “Oh my god, you look hot! Is this what you look like when you’re not in the shop?”

“Sometimes.” You smile. “Hi, everyone.” you say acknowledging the group, you're met with small greetings and wide smiles from everyone until your eyes go to Hotch. He doesn’t say anything just looks at you over the beer he’s sipping with a small smirk. You smile at him but he still doesn’t say anything just slowly looks your body up and down with dark eyes. When he meets you back at your eyes, you release the breath you didn’t know you were holding. You’ve never seen that look on him before, complete and utter want. You swallow for a second before sliding in the booth next to Spencer who regards you with that tight smile he sometimes seemed to have.

“Have you met Derek, Y/N?” Garcia asked, a toned light-skinned man extended a hand towards you at that moment.

“I’ve met his coffee order but not him.” You say, shaking his hand. “It’s nice to put a face to the white mocha.”

“Honestly, when Garcia told me she had a friend who was a witch, you were definitely not what I was expecting.” He says. You don’t miss the obvious way he eyed you up and down but you choose to ignore it. You knew it wasn’t serious.

“What? You were expecting Baba Yaga?” You ask, inducing a laugh from the group. “Nah, I’m just a glorified rock collector. Now if you all will excuse me, I’m going to get a drink so I can catch up.”

You slide out the booth and walk up to the bar, probably swaying more than you needed to be. You knew Aaron’s eyes were on you. As you’re waiting for your drink, you notice a drunk man walk up way too close to you.

“Hey beautiful.” He says, slurring slightly. His breath is a clear indicator he’d been drinking. “It’s just my luck I’ve got you here alone, huh.”

“I’m good, actually.” You say, turning back to the bartender praying to the goddess he’d hurry up.

“Don’t be like that sugar, you came out dressed like that for someone. I’m just hoping it was me.” The man says.

Suddenly, you feel the heavy weight of an arm around your waist. You look up to see Hotch, who is pulling you closer into his side. “It wasn’t.” He says to the man, looking him directly in the eye as if daring him to challenge.

The guy holds his hands up in mock surrender. “Sorry dude, don’t want any issues.” He says, before walking away. You get your drink shortly after that and Hotch is now standing close in front of you, leaning against the bar.

“I had that handled.” You say, pouting slightly.

“I’m sure you did.” He says, sipping his beer. You take that moment to drink your much needed adult drink. “You have more tattoos than I thought.” He says, hand moving up to trace a long one you had on your upper arm.

You flush. “Oh, yea. Can’t really show them at work. Unprofessional and all.”

He hums in agreement. “Do they all have meaning?”

“Some do. Most are just things I found pretty at the time.”

He nods. “There seems to be a lot I still can’t read about you.”

“Please, you know plenty. Plus isn’t that your whole job? Reading people?”

“Yea, but I try not to do that with people I’m close to.”

You move closer to him, batting your eyes a little so it was obvious you were flirting with him now. “What if I want you to?” You say. “Read me, I mean.”

He clears his throat, looking back at you. “Then I guess, I could.” He says. You look at him while you sip your drink, waiting. “You’re smarter than you let on, something tells me that your parents were sticklers about school which means you had good enough grades to go to a good school on scholarship. You say you and Silena were roommates all through college but the other day you said 6 years, which leads me to believe you have your master’s degree but you don’t like to tell anyone about that. You’re thinking about going back to complete your doctorate simply because you enjoy learning.”

You hum. “Hmm, all true. I have my master’s degree in business. But that stuff’s easy to find out. What else do you know?”

He clears his throat. “You grew up in a strict household, with a distant father and a cold mother who didn’t let you step out of line in anyway. That’s why you are the way you are now. Tattoos, piercings, green hair, wiccan. It’s everything you wanted to do that your parents would never allow, you want to be the complete opposite of what they raised. It’s also why you treat Artemis the way you do, you don’t push your ideals on her because you’re scared you’ll be like your parents in that way.”

“Booo!” You say, Hotch looks at you shocked. “This is all stuff anyone can gather from seeing me for 10 seconds. You think anyone is looking at an adult woman with green hair like ‘I bet she has a great relationship with her parents’? NO! Come on, Mr. Hotchner, get to the juice!”

“Alright.” He says, downing his beer before moving closer to you until he’s talking lowly, directly into your ear. “You like older men, always have and specifically men who are stronger than you.” His arm moves back around your waist and you try not to make the gasp that leaves your mouth obvious. “You like someone else to be in control in the bedroom simply because you’re always the one in control in every other aspect of your life. You want someone to be in complete control which is why sometimes, you let them tie you up.” Now he’s impossibly close to you, and you’re grateful that you’re out of the eyeshot of the group so they can’t see how unbelievably turned on you were right now. “You like being called Good girl more than being called a bad one. And while you never could bring yourself to call another man Daddy in the bedroom, you like regarding them with titles like Sir. Am I close?”

You swallow. “Did you actually know all of that?”

“Some of it, some were just what I was hoping.”

“Let’s go outside.” you say, before Hotch is tugging you out the nearest door.

You barely have time to register the cold air of the alley before Hotch has you pinned against the nearest wall. His mouth is on yours instantly and you can’t help the moan that falls from your lips. Your hands instantly go to his jaw as his arms circle your waist. A gasp falls from your mouth as his lips move along your jaw, sucking a mark into the spot behind your earlobe that had your eyes rolling back. This was a lot and definitely way too fast. It wasn’t until he gripped your waist tighter and you felt a certain something poking at your side that you stopped him before it could go too far.

“Aaron, stop.” You whisper. He pulls back immediately from you.

“Did I do something wrong?” He says, in that low voice that almost makes you whimper.

“No! Of course not, it’s just. This is really fast.” You say. “I mean, you haven’t even taken me out yet, I’d at least like dinner if I’m going to be an adult making out in an alley next to a dumpster like a college student.” You laugh, Aaron chuckles slightly moving away from you.

“You’re right. It is fast, and I still have every intention of taking you out.” He sighs. “Do you wanna get out of here?” He asks, you give him a look. “Not like that, we can go to the shop if you want.”

“Yea, sure.”

-------------------------------------

You and Aaron head back to the shop not bothering to tell the group you’d gone. You were positive they had an idea of what was happening anyway.

The two of you sit at a table instead of the usual bar top tonight, drinking tea. When you’re silent for a moment you notice Aaron staring at you.

“What?” you say.

“Nothing, It’s just you look beautiful tonight.” He shrugs. “I guess I should’ve said that before--”

“Shoving your tongue down my throat? Yea maybe.” You tease, smirking at the flush that comes across his face. “But thanks.”

He then leans across the table to kiss you and you can’t help but lean back but the shop phone rings interrupting you.

“That’s weird, who would be calling this late?” You say, getting up to answer you might as well, you were here anyway.

“Hallowed Grounds, Y/N speaking.”

“You thought you could hide forever didn’t you, dove? Cute shop, though. I know where it is. I know where you are. And you can’t keep me from my kid anymore.”

The phone slips from your hand cracking on the tiled floor.

Taglist: @megatrexus @roses-and-grasses @tittymuncher69 @liaabsurd @ladyravenclaw @genevievedarcygrangerreading @softbibxtch @xxdisappearwithoutatracexx @crimeshowtrash

#criminal minds #hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader smut #hotchner x reader smut #bau x reader #hotch x reader smut

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aesthyuckic · 4 years

Text

AVENOIR | l.dh - VIGINTI

(gif not mine - credit to rightful owner)

Genre: High School AU (at beginning) ; Tarot Reader!Witch!Hyuck

Word Count: 2.7K

Warnings: (bold if in use) slow but with a purpose, belief contradictions, mentions of r*pe, blood, swearing, violence(??), mentions of abuse; this chapter is intense overall and can be triggering to some.

Pairings: Lee Donghyuck (Haechan) x Reader (F)

QUEEN OF PENTACLES: practicality, creature comforts, financial security

They all found themselves out in the main room that early morning. The boy and the girl sat on the couch together as the three beings somehow were able to figure out a way to communicate everything. Cosimia sat scrunched up at the end as she looked at the carpet. To be honest, she was so tired the whole thing felt like a dream or something...

The sun started to peak out over the horizon, providing a little yellow light in the purple sky that would soon fade to warmer colors as the day began already. It was just reminder how long it had been to them.

“So, I’m just never gonna be able to see the future again?” She asked so quietly as she seemed so small.

Donghyuck looked over to the woman who simply nodded at the question which he was quick to mimick, “Yeah... Your mom said the gift you had had to go to me, in a different form for me in order for her to meet your request of me living... It’s so there would be a reason for me to come out of the coma because before apparently there was nothing that was worth keeping me alive for exactly... I’m sorry, though, that you had to lose your ability for me.”

“Are you kidding me? I rather have you alive any day than have my ability!” She said as she reached out and hugged him, to which he hugged back as he felt so secure at how tightly she held him. “It terrifies me... knowing you would’ve died otherwise...”

“Still, I’m so sorry... I know how much it meant to you and you had it taken away without warning or any knowledge of it. As it is, it effects your part of the job we have... It’s all so messy and it’s because of me.”

“It was never your fault to begin with, Hyuck. If anything it was mine, I’m the reason Ten had a vendetta against you and the reason he shot you and I was the one to ask for you back. We’ll figure everything out in the end. Johnny knows I’ve been struggling, I’ll figure it out. It’s not your fault at all, don’t blame yourself. Besides it’s not all bad, I have you and my mom now.”

“You shouldn’t blame yourself either then. All you did to Ten was stick up for us, me more than anything. He shot me because of himself, not you. You saved me, Cosi, even if it doesn’t seem like it. You’re the whole reason I’m here with you right now, don’t you see?”

The girl already had tears well up in her eyes but he just lured them out with his words. Even after the hug, they had been there holding each other’s arms and it was the first time he broke away only to use his hands to cup her cheek so he wipe her tears away with his thumb. He could touch her with ease now, it still felt special as she would let him, the simple things like brush wouldn’t send her flying either. Somehow he could feel the rise and fall of her heart when it came as gentle.

She nodded, almost falling into the warmth of his hand that calmed her. It wasn’t long before they switched places as the boy was just as tired if not more than the girl. There were bags under his eyes from staying up late. She noticed that as she played with his hair. His eyes were closed as he began to relax and feel his eyes become heavier. Though he opened his eyes to be greeted with the girl’s and it started to reminded him of last night. Especially when her eyes began to dance from place to place with a small smile on her face. Oh, how he wanted it so bad...

“I swear if you kiss her.” The ghost of her mother gritted which he waited on at this point

He sighed out of frustration before he sat up, “I really hate this.”

“You’ll get use to it.” Cosimia chuckled, assuming he was talking about the new found ability. “They’ll be a time where you can’t imagine yourself without.”

“I hope so.” He hummed. “It’s annoying as of right now. And no offense, most of it is because of your mom.”

“She’s just doing her job as a mom probably... but speaking of her. You said she’s been around you since you woke up in the hospital?”

“Yeah, she has.”

“Well... it’s obvious she’s been around us for awhile then... She heard me and she’s been with you. Is there anything she’s told you besides what you’ve already said?”

He could hear her voice shake in worry when she asked her question, yet it was so subtle. Her breaths seemed to get tired, the type you felt in your soul that hurt almost. He was left concerned and puzzled by the curiosity and anxiousness that filled her eyes as she waited eagerly for an answer. He shook his head.

“No,” He finally verbalized his answer she waited on. “Nothing you don’t already know...”

“She didn’t tell you about my dad... or anything...?” She asked. “I don’t know I thought she would’ve...”

He looked over to her mom, confused himself as he felt a random way of aderline wash over him like something big was to come, “It’s not my place to tell you something about her that’s so personal like that.”

“I feel like... now’s the time to tell you what happened.” The girl sighed as looked at her hands in her lap. “We’re heading back there soon and-“

“If you’re not ready you don’t have to!” He was quick to interrupt in case she didn’t want to go any further.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be a hundred percent ready, Hyuck, that’s the problem. It’s apart of healing, isn’t it? Besides after the months we’ve spend together and all we’ve been through, especially recent, I trust you a lot... You’re the person I trust most and the one I’ve trusted the most in my whole life. That’s what matters, I think. I already told Johnny anyway. It hurt like hell and I wanted you to be the first one I told, but we were about to lose our jobs and get sent back home if I didn’t so I had too.”

She couldn’t look him in the eye that middle. She fiddled with her fingers in her lap to keep the attention there. He could see her blink, rather rapidly even if she was looking down. She seemed to be holding it all in, maybe it was getting painful in the way you’re throat ached from trying to hold back loud cries. He hoped not though...

“Still, you don’t have to.” He spoke up, softly.

“I know I don’t, but I want to.” Her voice quivered a bit along with her breaths. “In some regards, anyway... But, that day, when Ms. Nelson tried to get me to tutor you. You know how you wanted me to do it after school but I couldn’t?”

“Yeah,” He answered, softly once again. “I don’t think I can really forget that day, especially now, you know.”

“And you know that one day you saw me walking towards school on our lunch break and I was crying? And then after when I went missing from school for a few days and you came to bring my homework? I said my dad would kill you if he knew you were there...”

She had reminded him of the very beginning, the one he had kind of forgotten about with everything happening around them lately. He still nodded at her words even though it was so blurred and like it never happened really, much like a feeling a dream would leave you with. It also made it seem like it had been longer than almost a year in his eyes.

“I know you saw my bruises that day we were brought together and you seemed to notice them more which each time we crossed each other’s path.” She took a deep breath. “I think you could already tell I was abused by him... It’s kind of obvious, isn’t it? Wasn’t it? There was a strong feeling in you when you thought about that possibility too, right? I know you didn’t notice how often I went missing from schools day at a time constantly, no one did but the staff. I know everyone, including you, thought I was the weird girl because of how I acted. I didn’t talk much either, especially with other people and when I did I uttered things people found creepy and that you would’ve too at the time since you weren’t warmed up to me. I did because it was safe that way for everyone. My dad had always told me if I had any friends, especially if they were boys, that he kill them in front of me and then me... That day you tried to get a ride back to school? He saw and he got upset because he thought you were my friends and you were boys on top of it... I think you know it didn’t end well. I could see it coming when the abuse happen... I had vision since I was young. I didn’t pay attention to them much until I was around eleven and it was because this one was bad. I brushed it off like I had with my previous ones thinking it was a terrible thought or something. The thing is, is that it happened... Similar ones kept popping up in my head and they’d happen too. I always knew it was coming and I’d run and hide from it but it only made things worse for me. No sight for awhile afterward and I’d always still happen in the end. It drained me, made me want to die so bad. It was hard, you know, continue living in a body that caused you pain and felt like it wasn’t even your own... It was hard having everyday be lonely at school and then knowing you’d come home to be hit... and then... and then be raped by your own father...”

She struggled to choke out the last part of what she had said before tears began to fall rapidly fron her eyes. To be honest, Donghyuck hadn’t expected that word to leave her mouth or maybe he just hoped it wouldn’t. She was trying so hard to hold back so she could speak.

“I didn’t even want to call it that when it happened...” She confessed. “Johnny was the one that said it when I told him so I accepted it after awhile, knowing he was right. I don’t like saying it but it’s true... I felt so dirty whenever it happen and I couldn’t say or do anything about it! He said he’d kill me if I did and I felt ashamed at that point because what did I do to have that happen? Something so horrible and disgusting? I had to have done something to deserve it, right?! I couldn’t do anything to prevent it either, I just had to live with it. And fuck, I can’t even have kids if I want to in the future. If he found out I was pregnant, he would’ve been mad and if had found out I had multiple abortions he would’ve been even more mad! It was all his fault though! He’s the reason I had them, he’s the reason I had so many. I couldn’t go nine months carrying a thing like that anyway! It would’ve just been a constant, personified reminder in the world of what he had done to me... The baby, when it became a baby... they would’ve been so wrong to me, they would’ve been loveless when it came into the world... I couldn’t do that to them, it wouldn’t have even their fault but they’d suffer because of it.”

The boy began to understand her and everything a lot more... He realized why she freaked out when he laid his head on her shoulder when they were on the bus that one time. He realized why she wouldn’t sleep in the same bed with him for the longest time and when she did why she stayed as far away from him as possible. Why she would flinch whenever he tapped her shoulder in the store or something similar. Why she asked that one time if the boys had done inappropriate things to her when she passed out from smoking for the first time. So many memories like that came to his head as she told him what truly happened in the walls of the sunny orange home she was trapped in. He understood it now.

It was all so clear now. He also realized why she was so mature and calm in the beginning and even now with everyone but him and her friends, maybe. Even now, she didn’t like people touching her besides Donghyuck. The only real reason he was allowed was because of the amount of time they spent together. He never overstepped his boundaries with her, respectful of them too. She trust him, he was pure at heart. He didn’t do things to hurt her. She’d protect him and in return, he always did the same even when she didn’t need it. She always knew he had a heart of gold, it’s the reason she felt her future self at time had chosen him.

She shook violently next to him as she help herself in her own arms as it looked like she stared at the coffee table in front of him. She couldn’t tell by the the tears that created bluriness in her eyes and the adrenaline in her veins. She was busy suppressing her cries while he was at a lost of words. It was too early... He didn’t know what to do or say exactly, physical affection didn’t seem like a bright idea given the topic. He wanted nothing more than to be there for her, though. It was a shock when she threw herself on him, careful to avoid his wound as she grabbed fistfuls of his shirt. He could feel her sobbing into his shoulder as she did so.

“I didn’t want it... I didn’t want it...” She was able to croak out.

He took a deep breath as he carefully wrapped his arms around her to bring her gently closer to him. She didn’t seem to mind the way she relaxed a bit and the way her cries seem to get a bit quieter. He felt special, to be the first person she told, besides Johnny but she chose him and wanted to do it. He was also the first that could touch her and the first that she had felt secure with in every way possible. He was gentle when gathering the strands of her now dark hair that fell so he could tuck them behind her ear. He was aware she was strong, always has been, just not how strong until that moment. He continued to stroke her hair as she cried out so much of the emotion she has built up over time.

“Of course you didn’t.” He whispered, softly. “You didn’t deserve it in slightest either... It was never your fault, I know you know that. You can’t blame yourself for what happened to you. It was all on him if you can call that sick fuck that really... It won’t happen anymore, I would never let it happen if it ever came to a situation like that. You’re away from him now, you won’t see him again and I intend to keep it that way no matter what.”

He looked over at her mother who had been silent the whole time. Her eyes looked like they were sad hearing everything that has spilled out. He also seemed to be sad as well as shocked with a little bit of guilt. The truth was, her mom had witness the whole thing in real time in her plane of the living and dead. She could never truly do anything but ask that the girl had a gift to be prepared for it, if you could ever be prepared for trauma.

“I want to kill him for it, so badly.”

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kkoumiii · 3 years

Note

hello this is for a tarot reading.

i already like your blog because it looks mystical and cute at the same time but since i love pac readings so much, it would be fun to see one from you.

my question is: what does SC think of me right now?

thank you in advance and congrats for reaching 800 followers 🥳💞 (DDM)

Hello DDM! Welcome to your reading! 🌿

First of all, thank yooouuu 🥰 I still can’t believe that I have more than 800 followers now! As for your suggestion, I already thought about doing a pac reading but since many creators did one at the same time, I wondered if mine wouldn’t be too much… But I’ll give it a try if it can interest some of you! Now, let’s dive onto your reading! I will use the pronoun they/them for SC if you don’t mind!

⭑ ˢᵗʳᵉⁿᵍᵗʰ | ˢᵉʳᵛᵃⁿᵗ (ˡⁱᵍʰᵗ ᵃᵗᵗʳⁱᵇᵘᵗᵉ) | ᵏⁿⁱᵍʰᵗ ᵒᶠ ᶜᵘᵖˢ | ᵃᶜᵉ ᵒᶠ ᵖᵉⁿᵗᵃᶜˡᵉˢ | 5 ᵒᶠ ʷᵃⁿᵈˢ ⭑

⇝ They see you as someone who’s been through a lot and for this reason, you bend over backwards to help people because you don’t want anyone to live the same hardships as you did. You want to make everyone feels as much as possible at ease. They regard you as a warrior, someone who doesn’t fear anything but has a hard time being vulnerable because of your past wounds. According to this person, you’re generous, selfless, attentive, you will do your best to provide for the people you hold close to your heart and even for people around you, you won’t hesitate to help if you can. Maybe sometimes you forget your own needs because of that. They may sense a certain naivety to you in the sense that you can blindly help people without realizing that it takes you off a lot of energy and that you don’t care of yourself at the end. They may feel that you’re tormented because of your inner fighting, you probably put on a brave face even though you suffer and need help in return. Perhaps you have a lot of pride and that’s why you try to hide this part of you. You’re also determined, stubborn, strong to them. They think that it’s hard to change your mind because if you want something, nothing can stop you. They feel a lot of indulgence and kindness from you when it comes to others, but not for yourself.

That's all I have for now! Remember to take great care of yourself too 🥺 Lots of love 💚

#anon #DDM #tarot reading #free tarot reading

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mogwaei · 4 years

Text

Wolf Statues and the Tower of Bone tinfoil!

A theory about wolf statues crossed my dash again which...got me thinking along a somewhat separate train of thought of all the different places we find them. I’ve seen the posts about the Dales/Exalted Plains, but not much about somewhere like Emprise du Lion. I’m not sure if this has already been talked about, but I’ve been searching and can’t find any posts elsewhere.

This is going to be a long and rambling post about Wolf statues and Emprise du Lion, so a two in one theory 😂. I’ve never actually written a meta and I generally hoard my theories and write them in fic...because I’m not good at writing anything that isn’t in story format. You’ve been warned lol

First, some really long and tangential exposition about statues.

There are a ton of Wolf statues across the game. We’ve got a whole pack of them across the Exalted Plains watching over various locations. But they’re also located in a lot of the elven temples we run across as well. @serial-chillr and I were talking about the possibility that, assuming the Wolves are all Fen’Harel statues (unless the ones in the Dales are Emerald Knight wolves, but I kinda doubt that), then what is the likelihood of Solas himself having built these statues?

We know from Solas himself that elvhen nobility used to mark their slaves to honour the ‘god’ that they subscribed to. Sooo, why wouldn’t the more zealous ones build great big monuments in addition to marking their slaves?

What I fail to see mentioned in a lot of fics and theories is much mention of these nobles or the politics of Elvhenan. I’m sure that higher ranking elves probably owned land within Evanuris territory, and they probably needed permission before doing so, but I’ll bet that if a kiss-ass noble came up to one of the gods asking to build a pretty statue (hoping for bonus points) the narcissistic bastard god was probably like “You want to build a statue of moi? BUT OF COURSE!!!” and maybe gave the noble a pat on the head and a cookie for kissing butt.

For posterity:

That being said, because I can’t help but mention my own worldbuilding fic, The Guardian, I’m assuming the statues were built of Fen’Harel, and while Solas might not have really approved (or maybe wasn’t even able to stop them from being constructed ‘nu stop I’m not a godddd‘) he would instead have found a way to use them to his advantage. I write that he begins placing statues where allies (both agents and freed slaves) can find them and follow them back to safe places marked for the Rebellion. I go into slightly more detail regarding these special wolves (how he would get statues into the temples/palaces of the Evanuris and how to distinguish them from regular ones) in a plot involving infiltration of a compound in Chapters 111-120. I can’t give away all my secrets!

Anyway, moving onto statues in specific locations:

The one in Emprise du Lion

hewwoh big boi

What I find fascinating about this one specifically is that it’s also located in the same region as Suledin Keep (which also has wolfies inside of it ofc). Because of the landmarks codex in Emprise I’m hedging that this land used to belong to Elgar’nan. Look at Pools of the Sun for reference - THAT’S ALL I GOT FOR NOW

Anyhow, floundering, but my attention was next drawn to the Tower of Bone

In this story, a blood mage summoned a greater pride demon, who then possessed the entire tower. When the mage died, his sons were unable to control the demon, so they commissioned eight monstrous iron chains intended to hold it. The touch of the cold iron chain is the only thing holding the stone abomination in place. Should they break, the tower will pull itself off its foundations and walk, destroying everything in its path.

I know that they found human bones in the tower, but bear with me. I’m tinfoiling hard and trying to read deeper and tie it all together but I’m just a humble apostate hobo.

Anyway, some blood mage summoned a greater pride demon who in turn possesses the tower - of the companions, Solas has the Tower tarot card. The next sequence in the story, the sons bind the tower with 8 chains. The only mention I could find of the number 8 is in the Draconis codex where it mentions there being a possible 8th Old God being stricken from records.

Should all the chains break, the Tower will destroy everything in its path.

The Tower tarot, as we’ve seen in a hundred other tin foils, is commonly interpreted as meaning danger, crisis, destruction, and liberation. It is also associated with sudden unforseen change. WHICH ISN’T NECESSARILY A BAD THING! (Look, despite everything, I’m hanging to that thread of hope that Solas will have a good ending).

So, again, I’m probably totally wrong but the symbolism here has some pretty interesting potential if it is referring at all to Solas and the Evanuris.

Recap:

>random thought (because I’m totally writing this on the fly) but IF the 8 chains symbolise something more, then maybe it’s possible that the 8th ‘God’ could be the Sun that is briefly mentioned in elven legend (referring to the codex I mentioned above). And the Sun could be symbolism for yet another thing we aren’t aware of. Whether that’s some sort of dragon or spirit or entity we haven’t been introduced to in game (yet).

>The chains themselves could also be representative of holding back...again, something we don’t know. Blight? Something worse? (thinking about the Dread Wolf Rises mural and the seals, but there are only 7 there. Maybe the 8th is the thing they’re holding prisoner if it isn’t free?) ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

>While I’m down this rabbit hole, maybe the 8th is part of this: “A final eluvian is situated in a peaceful bolt-hole where Solas has painted murals. Fen’Harel was here and wanted to make sure nobody ever found what the other gods were doing.” - this can be found in the game files under bolt_hole (in other words, maybe it has to do with whatever they found?)

>A big ass, greater Pride demon (more Sooooolllasss symbolism? looking at Tevinter Nights and some other cool theories on Dread Wolf - Pride demon connections)

>Reoccuring tower symbolism (does the little wolf Rook that Mark Darrah tweeted a while back count?)

>Breaking chains (liberation?)

>ALSO THE TOWER IS COVERED IN RED LYRIUM (AAAAAAAH)

>Someone’s gonna go wreak havoc when a Specific Thing Happens (*cough* Solas? *cough*)

I realise I flew off the handles here and I’m not sure if anyone is going to even be able to follow this tangent 😂

Anyway, that’s it for now until I think of something else. If you’re into a long winded fic of worldbuilding and lore weaving, check out The Guardian where I do a lot better job of putting my thoughts into words. I swear I’m not usually this scatterbrained and I spend a LOT of time weaving theories...that I then hoard like Smeagol. :3

As a closing message, I’d like to include this shot of my dear friend @schoute ‘s Piper Lavellan who doesn't know where the fuck she is.

Thanks for reading and I apologise if you’ve lost any braincells in this thought spaghetti orz

#dragon age #solas #the dread wolf rises #dragon age 4 #dragon age inquisition #fen'harel #Solas and Abelas tinfoil over tea

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illfoandillfie · 3 years

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Hiya! never done this before so haha bare with me, I know you do tarot readings, and was wondering if I could request a reading??? If not totally fine! 😅😅 I've been in a strange headspace for a couple of weeks now and was wondering if the cards could tell me if there's anything I might need to know going forward??? Sorry if that's too broad I'm not really sure what to ask haha

hopefully this helps you out darl!

tarot: the star, the hanged man, the tower, the sun, seven of swords, nine of wands, the high priestess, three of pentacles, knight of cups.

First off, before I jump into what the cards mean, just a quick little caveat. While I may not be able to give you specifics about what the cards are referencing, you may be able to glean extra info from them based on your knowledge of yourself and whats been happening in your life lately. It my be that I interpret the meaning one way but you see a different pattern or implication that makes sense to you and I fully encourage you to bring your own understanding as well as what I can say about them, especially in regards to the oracle cards which are often kind of vague to allow for multiple interpretations. But, with that out of the way, let’s get into what the cards are saying!

You may feel out of sorts at the moment but the Star is a card of hope, positivity, renewal and healing, so things will start getting better/back to normal. The seven of swords is an interesting card to come up as the clarifier though. It relates to secrecy or sneakiness, cunning, lies and trickery, as well as resourcefulness and strategy. This may indicate that the strange headspace you’ve been experiencing relates to actions against you by someone - perhaps a betrayal of some kind or finding out someone lied to you - or possibly your own actions that you felt were uncharacteristic or abnormal. It may also relate to a secret being revealed, or anxiety that such a thing will happen. But there is the hope that things will work out either on their own or through confession/communication.

Next we have the Hanged Man and nine of wands. The Hanged Man is a card of sacrifice and delay. It may be that there is a sacrifice that you need to make before you can go forward. A tough conversation that needs to happen, or just stopping for a minute to reconsider the direction you’re heading in and any changes that need to be made to your plan. The nine of wands is about resilience and grit and interestingly can also speak of delay. It may be that you’re waiting for something to happen and feel as if you can’t move forward until it does. But the nine of wands indicates that you can get through whatever this situation is. You’ve survived things in the past and you have the strength to do so again. Be brave and stand your ground. The Hanged Man may also indicate a need to change perspective. Perhaps you are looking at the situation from one angle but need to examine it from another before progress can be made.

So much major arcana appearing in this reading! Two more here - The Tower and the High Priestess. The Tower is not necessarily a happy card. It symbolises destruction, disaster, chaos, upheaval, sudden change. The High Priestess on the other hand is about intuition, the unconscious, and your inner voice. This may indicate that you already know what this tower moment could be, even that you’re expecting it. Often The Tower is seen as ominous but the changes it references don’t have to be bad. Even positive changes can bring chaos and trouble with them. If you’re getting ready to make a big change that will influence multiple areas of your life, then that is probably what the tower is talking about. Even if you don’t yet know what it is, it’s likely that you will by the time it happens. Listen to your inner voice, your intuition, and let it guide you.

And our final three cards. The Sun in the most positive card in the deck. This shows that, no matter what troubles you face, no matter what the Tower card is referencing, there is a brighter future on the other side. It will be for the best and you will make it through, even if you have to do a lot of clean up after the dust has settled. There is joy, success and celebration ahead of you. And it seems as if the best way to reach that point is with the help of others. The three of pentacles is a card of teamwork, collaboration and building. After the Tower falls, the rebuilding can start and the three of pentacles says it will be made easier by seeking out others and letting them help you. In particular it seems as if a Knight of Cups will come to your aid. The suit of cups is closely tied to emotions and the heart, so this knight may be a romantic connection for you but doesn’t have to be. But it is possible that this card is referring to a specific person. The knight of cups is someone who follows their heart rather than their head. They are idealistic and romantic and somewhat of a dreamer. It may also be that this knight will bring you a message or invitation, perhaps related to the 3 of pentacles it will be an invitation to work with a group. It may be that this work will be a passion project or will have significant emotional or creative value for you. However the knight present themselves to you, the sun is a sign that the connection will bring positive energy to you and whatever you’re working on.

Now onto the oracle cards.

Firstly we have 2 cards from the Earth Power oracle: Glastonbury Tor (Magic flows through my life. I will heal. I have power and it is real. Spiritual power takes time to develop and I find the right teachers when I am ready.) and Tanah Lot (The places ‘in between’ are important for my growth. I can release myself from worry and suffering if I choose. I now let go of all that no longer serves me.)

Both these cards tie into the messages of the tarot. The Glastonbury Tor speaks of healing just like the Star card and Tanah Lot speaks of release like the Hanged Man. There is something you need to confront and let go of which will help you move forward and continue on your path.

Next I pulled you 2 Ice Cream oracles: Charcoal Liquorice (innovation / invention / revolution) and Lemon (clean / detoxify / release). Yet another message of release!!

Then we have 3 Prism Oracle cards: Balance, Happiness and Flow. The balance card calls you to examine the different areas of your life and see is anything is out of balance or requires more attention. Are you spending enough time on yourself or are outside sources demanding all your attention? Happiness ties into that Sun card! This is a promise of better days ahead as well as an encouragement to acknowledge and cherish the little things that make you happy each day. Often we get caught up in the negative and forget to focus on the positive so take some time out to think about what makes you happy! And Flow is about going with the flow, adapting to a situation or to change rather than fighting against it. It may be that something has been approaching for some time and you’ve been trying to avoid it. Now is the time to let it happen, get it over and done with, so you can move on.

And finally, I also pulled 2 Sacred Self Care oracle cards for you and you got: Journal and Dream Journal. It seems like writing things down (or dictating your thoughts in a audio journal) may help you better understand what is happening around you! I’ll give you some info from the guide book for each of these as well.

Journal - Journaling is a profoundly intimate and powerful practice, one that provides a safe space for self-expression and channelling wisdom. It can help get your thoughts in order and process emotions. If you’re unsure where to start, try writing about what’s currently happening in your life or about whatever comes to mind. Don’t worry if it appears incoherent - it doesn’t need to be pretty. The process of writing free from expectation will allow you to exercise different parts of your brain. It will get you into a groove that will undoubtedly lead to more enlightening insights. Journaling can also help you keep track of your progress and see how far you are coming in various areas of your life.

Dream Journal: Dream journaling is a powerful practice. Once you establish a flow with it, there are many insights to gather from your astral adventures. Commit to interacting with your dreams in a new way and looking for the wisdom and guidance they hold for you. Starting with a seven day commitment to just write down what you remember about your dreams as soon as you wake up, before you forget them, can get you in the right flow. Or record voice notes for yourself and later transcribe them if you wish. Try naming your dreams, like a book or a movie, to help organize reoccurring themes. Review what you have written or recorded to see what guidance presents itself.

#card readings

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reflectionsofhekate · 4 years

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new moon in cancer tarot reading 20/7/2020

applies to sun, moon and rising placements.

feel free to like/rt if it resonates. i would love to know your thoughts, too!

general reading, so if it doesn’t apply, let it fly!

deck used: angel tarot cards by radleigh valentine

time frame: July 20th - 18th August

― ♈︎: ace of cups

aries, it looks like this new moon in cancer marks a period of time where you are being blessed with a new beginning in the area of relationships, both platonic and romantic, as well as self-love. new love is there, if you want it. emotional maturity, too. a new connection could enter your life, possibly with a water sign, or if not, someone who is connected to their emotions and open to sharing that with you.

there is the potential for growth and healing regarding spirituality, too. think of the ace of cups, like a spiritual bath, if you will. if you are willing to dive deep in the depths of your emotions, you were re-emerge refreshed and more equipped to go navigate life with more of a spring in your step, eyes bright, heart open. the universe is planting an opportunity on your path. are your eyes open?

― ♉︎: two of fire

taurus, it looks like this new moon in cancer is signifying the start of new partnerships or contracts coming into your life, soon! if you’ve been working on a creative endeavour, it’s going to pay off. trust and believe that what you want, is coming to you. the number two in tarot is often reminiscent of duality, balance and partnership.

make sure that you work on your self-confidence that only good things manifest here. that you will get what you deserve. indecision could be plaguing you. release those fears. get real clear on your intentions because that matters a lot. keep moving forward.

― ♊︎: life experience

gemini, this new moon is going to rock your world, but in a good way. there could be a turning point in your life, perhaps something happened that really opened your eyes to what your reality is. have you been seen loads of butterflies recently? in this card, I was drawn to how many butterflies there was. different sizes, different colours. they looked so vibrant and beautiful.

in symbolism, butterflies are significant of transformation. think about the process, a total metamorphosis. like the butterfly, it’s safe for you to spread your wings if you haven’t already. let go of people, places and things that are holding you down. see the bigger picture in things. the number 7 may be of importance.

― ♋︎: page of fire

cancer, this new moon is urging you to come out of your shell as an exciting, creative opportunity could be heading your way. possibly delivered by a fire sign, or somebody who embodies that raw spark of fire in its early stages. in the card, the moon is full, so perhaps you receive a message that shocks you. remember, life doesn’t throw anything at you that you can’t handle.

at this time you could be feeling super curious and inspired. that’s amazing, but try and direct that passion into something so that you don’t burn out. your creative juices are high at this time. do you have a talent that you can share with the world?

― ♌︎: two of air

leo, this new moon might have you feeling a little stuck in your head. you may be feeling as if a clear path is unclear at the moment. so, at a complete loss of what to do, you may close over a problem and pretend it doesn’t exist. nuh uh, that won’t work for long. balance is needed.

take some time to go within and trust that a clear answer will appear. one that you probably knew already. try and be at peace with the feelings indecisions brings up. opposing thoughts are not a problem, it’s how you work with them that really counts. do you work on trusting yourself more? how’s that head and heart connection?

― ♍︎: four of fire and king of air

virgo, let me just say your cards JUMPED out. like they were ready to make an appearance. this new moon, you may be dealing with a person who is intellectual, analytical, but fair about something to do with security in your life. it could be something to do with your home life or marriage, for example.

or, on a personal level, it represents you, stepping up to take a more detached approach to the foundations of your life. don’t be afraid to speak your truth to gain more stability in your life. it could be a little risky, but it’ll pay off. home is where the heart is, but also, where you’re receiving blessing. if you’re struggling in the foundations of your life, perhaps this is a good time to seek out impartial, professional advice.

― ♎︎: four of water

libra, what’s got you feeling so down? this new moon, be mindful of your emotions. you’re focusing on the wrong things. perhaps it was something to do with a social group in your life or a relationship that disintegrated. it’s weighing heavy on you now and that’s affecting the stability in your emotions.

the number four in tarot can be linked to manifestation. where attention goes, energy flows. don’t be crying over spilled milk. what’s happened, let it go. in this card, there’s one chalice at the forefront, big, bright and full. it may be hard to believe, but there is still hope. appreciate what you have.

― ♏︎: the empress

scorpio, you’re in your bag. that’s the reading. nah I'm playing. but honestly, with this major arcana showing up, abundance is yours! in this card, the image shows a woman, surrounded by nature, baby foxes and deer, holding a sleeping baby in her arm with her free hand holding a horn of some sort. head to toe, she is dressed in gold. trust me when I say this, you have the Midas touch.

with this new moon, you’re extremely fertile and creative right now. create space in your life to actually work on your dreams. take some steps, baby steps, big steps, just do it. what you nurture right now will pay off in the future. make self-care a priority.

― ♐︎: knight of fire and two of earth

sagittarius, look at you showing up in your reading! that’s so nice to see. the new moon could feel leave you feeling real revitalised, full of energy. positive expressions of the card are someone who is passionate, adventurous but a not so good expression is someone who is restless, impulsive and an adrenaline junkie.

be mindful of not rushing into things without forethought. with the two of earth here, don’t be hasty when it comes to your material possessions. the balancing act can only go on for so long, yes, but sometimes inaction proves better than action at times. the good news is that, whatever you’re juggling with regards to the material things in life can be stabilised with a fresh, creative approach.

― ♑︎: ten of water

capricorns, can I just take a moment to say that this card too ages to comes out. are your resisting the fact that you can have everything you’ve dreamed of? that one day it will manifest in front your eyes? something to think about. this new moon is setting the ground for a perfect blend between your material needs and your emotional needs.

the number ten in tarot talks of a completion in some way. your hard work is paying off and you’re reaping the rewards. I'll drink to that. keep doing what you do best. it’s the happy ever after card. now, tell me, do you believe in fairytales?

― ♒︎: four of earth

aquarius, what are you holding on to? are you being a bit tight with your material possessions? is a restrictive mindset holding you down? if you feel like you’ve been struggling with seeing abundance in your life, I'm sorry to say but you could be unintentionally be blocking its flow into your. life.

where you can, give to those less fortunate. it doesn’t have to be money, can you share some time, an open ear, maybe some resources to educate people? check on your bank account and make sure it’s paid it’s due attention. now is a time to be open to any opportunities coming in your life.

― ♓︎: the world

ooh Pisces, this major arcana showing up in your reading is telling me that the universe is congratulating on your past efforts. something in your life is coming to an end and you’re ready to move on to something new. if not, you’re close to it and the universe is cheering you on.

good for you. you’ve growing spiritually. travel on a large scale is indicated, too. your talents may be receiving recognition, too. if you’re questioning if you’re on the right path, this is confirmation that you are! as your consciousness evolves, you express more gratitude for the beauty that is life.

#tarot #tarot reading #new moon in cancer #astrology #astro #zodiac #freereadings #freetarotreaadings #witchblr #radleigh valentine #intuitive readings #tarotscopes

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hexusproductions · 4 years

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Lavender Heart

Summary: You visit Levi again while running from other creatures in the temple. He’s usually focused on himself, but you manage to catch his attention with something unexpected; the simple truth. Author’s Note: A story written for ‘Legal Levi’, one of the characters from the eldritch god dating sim concept created by @couldyounottalktomethanks. Written in second person with a gender neutral reader.

Running away from another one of Jezzie’s attempts to turn you into a living tarot card gave you very few options of where to go in the temple.

Levi’s study was, as always, cluttered. He had a habit of collecting things in jars, including the same tiny mushroom creatures that ran about underfoot. It was already a small room, and you had to be wary not to step on anything. Levi himself was sitting at the desk, highlighting parts of some stack of documents. You wondered if he had ever owned a chair or if he always folded up on his goat legs like a furry brown loaf.

“Hi.”

Levi jumped and swivelled his torso around, blinking glassy silver eyes at you before putting his pen down. He stood up and turned around fully, gaze never leaving yours.

“Hello.”

Your pulse was still racing a little after running from Jez. Levi’s eyes narrowed a little.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Almost died again.” You brushed yourself off, taking another step closer. Levi stepped back, hooves clicking, large hands woven together at his stomach.

“And you’re alright?” He asked. You looked down, taking note of the fact that he had upheld the distance between you, but gave him a reassuring smile.

“Yeah. Not a scratch.” Levi didn’t usually worry over you. You’d been in his company a few times since entering this messed up temple, but this was the first time he had ever openly done so. It was almost sweet.

Levi’s fingers brushed over your cheek and you tensed up out of surprise. He pulled his hand away immediately – still hovering in the air close by – and set his mouth in a firm line.

“No…not a one.” He confirmed. He took another step back and straightened, and the loss of contact made you feel more guilty than disappointed.

“Sorry. I just didn’t know you were going to do that.” You moved forward again, to the point where he couldn’t retreat any further without hitting the desk, “It’s okay if you want to check on me.” Levi stared at you, the eyeglasses doing wonders for his stony expression, before clearing his throat.

“I just wanted to make sure you were alright, so I didn’t have to, call anyone for help.” His volume lowered the longer he was talking. You caught the sight of his tail wagging for a split-second, and you smiled wide.

“Are you feeling okay?” You hoped that he was, but you also hoped that his tail meant what you thought it did. Levi shifted and cleared his throat.

“I’m completely fine.” He turned to collect the papers on his desk back into one neat pile. You nodded in understanding but kept smiling, albeit smaller and a little knowing. You joined Levi at the desk as a little mushroom waddled off at full speed with his pen.

“What are you working on?” You asked, folding your hands together like Levi had.

“Oh it’s a, case regarding whether daylight savings and weather events interfered with a deal that had until sundown to be completed.” Levi patted the paper and curled his fingers into a loose fist, no longer looking at you, “Whatever you need just put it on the pile and I’ll give it a look when I can.” He started to turn away from you, apparently prepared for the conversation to be over. You chuckled and touched his arm.

“I don’t have a lawsuit or anything.”

Levi paused, turning back to you.

“You don’t?”

“No!” You removed your arm but smiled at him, “I don’t need a contract to want to spend time with you.”

Levi stared again. His eyes, usually thin and stern, were wide and his jaw slack. He was usually so collected, but right now it looked like he wasn’t sure what to feel. Your breath caught in your throat at such an expression.

“Oh.” Levi said, and there was a long pause before he smiled, “Thank you.” It was small in size, but giant compared to his usual.

“You’re welcome.” You managed, resisting the urge to clutch your chest. Someone caring about him outside of a professional setting was enough to make him happy.

Levi tilted his head and held his hands together again as he made a three point turn, seemingly shifting in place again.

“I’m not particularly busy at the moment, so if you’d like to stay, then I would be alright with that.” He said. He was watching you intently.

“Stay in here with you?” You questioned. Levi shrugged. He seemed to hesitate, even though he wasn’t the one who was meant to answer. It didn’t make much of a difference to your response.

“I’d love to.”

Another tail wag. Levi stepped to the side to make room for you, then took a seat himself. You accepted the silent invitation and nestled up next to him. The brown fur was a little coarse, but not too unpleasant.

“You really need some affection, huh?” You teased. Levi frowned.

“Nonsense. It’s important to take breaks while you’re working.” He didn’t look at you as he said it, grabbing a book from the shelf behind him, but you decided not to push. Even if you didn’t really believe him.

“If you say so.”

Levi didn’t respond to that, flicking open the book to a dog-eared page. You settled back against his side. The silence felt a little awkward at first, what with Levi not saying a word to you as he read, but it wasn’t uncomfortable enough for you to want to leave. After being told to stay, it was unlikely that Levi had wanted the opposite. As a matter of fact, it felt like he was growing more comfortable the longer he could feel your weight against him.

Levi had one arm lowered to support the book he was reading. You looked at the arm for a moment, then reached out to hold it. Levi tensed, but almost immediately settled, making no move to stop you. You got a little more daring and looped your arm around his entirely, snuggling up to it instead. You looked up, gauging Levi’s reaction, and to your surprise his cheeks seemed to have darkened.

“Is this okay?”

“Yes.” Levi muttered. You smiled and rested against his arm. You weren’t at all interested in whatever he was reading.

You’d met a lot of weird people here. ‘People’ was a very loose term, considering none of them were human. But even if Levi did frequently argue with Jezzie and Ariana, he had never tried to kill you. He seemed to have his moments of being sweet and nice, and during those moments, you genuinely liked him.

The book snapped closed, and you blinked and looked up to see Levi watching you again.

“What?”

“Nothing. You look happy.”

“I am happy. And comfy.” You pressed against his sweater a little more. Levi smiled again, but then it shrank to a tiny frown. He scrambled to a stand without warning, almost dropping you in the process.

“What happened?” You stood up as Levi rummaged through his collected bits and bobs. A mushroom squeezed between two empty jars and waved both arms, pointing upwards. Levi patted its cap approvingly and hopped up onto his hind legs.

“What are you doing??” He seemed like he was in a hurry, whatever he was looking for, and you watched with confusion.

“One second.” Levi had enough height now to barely reach one of the topmost shelves, rolling an open jar into his large hands. He was careful – you could now hear the jar had water sloshing around inside of it – and shielded the top while he dropped back onto all fours.

You finally realised what he was doing when you saw the array of flowers contained in the jar like a vase. Some of them seemed on their way out, but Levi examined the best of the bunch before plucking his choice. A yellow wildflower, completely healthy, and he held it towards you.

“Here. Thank you for spending time with me, dear.”

You accepted the gift, holding the flower delicately between your fingers.

“Aww. Thank you.” You couldn’t tell if colour had appeared on your own face, but a faint tinge betrayed Levi’s otherwise level expression.

“You’re welcome.” If his hands hadn’t been wrapped around the jar, you might have felt tempted to hold them. But you were just as happy holding onto the flower he had picked for you.

Levi’s grip fidgeted, and he stepped away to return the jar of flowers.

“I didn’t know you collected living things too. Except, you know, those guys.” You pointed to the handful of mushroom guys that had been placed in ‘time-out’ jars. Most of the mushrooms had once been human beings, so not all of them were okay with spending day after day walking around a fae creature’s study.

“I usually collect things that I like.” Levi explained. He walked back towards you, and held his hand towards the flower still in yours.

“You deserve something beautiful.”

That wide smile returned to your face, and you took Levi’s extended hand before it could disappear.

“Thank you.” You said again. You saw Levi’s rare smile for the third time, and he slipped his hand from yours to hold it near his chest.

“Well, I, um.” He backed away to the desk again, “If you don’t need anything else, you can let yourself out whenever you’d like.” Apparently his brief show of vulnerability had ended, and he was retreating back to the safety of a cold outer shell.

“Levi.” The change was sudden, but you could understand it, and the gift he had given to you confirmed that it wasn’t from a place of dislike, “Can I come back later?”

Levi blinked and turned back around to his desk, taking his previous seat.

“Would you like to?”

“Yes.” You insisted. Levi paused, remaining still, but nodded.

“If I am not too focused on working then I suppose you could come back.”

You hummed, amused but agreeing to his terms.

“I’ll see you later then.” You started to turn, watching Levi as you did so. He didn’t move or answer you. You looked away and left through the door of the study. You kept the flower tucked safely in hand as you left the creature that had given it to you to his work.

#original character #my writing #Legal Levi #this is surprisingly long akjshdffh #whenever I get really motivated for an idea and write it on my phone it ends up being 1500+ words #the title is based on how in some dating sim games your 'points' with a character are measured by a coloured heart #also because of lavender being very strong (smelling) and the other symbolism it has

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aquarianwisp · 4 years

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It's morning here in Australia and I'm on my way to work with the biggest coffee I could find. I could barely sleep, my mind has been nonstop all night with mixture of my own thoughts and the whisper of spirits.

Healing is always a long journey and although I help others do this I'm also working towards healing myself. It never really stops once you get started because there is often a lot of stuff stored in fragments and at different depths. When you are attuned to high frequency energies it's just a matter of waiting for them to help you pull up the deep stuff you're holding on to, especially when you hide things from yourself. We all do that.

I asked at the beginning of this year if I could work through a particular deep seated issue of mine, which is my relationship with my father and the church. I grew up in what Australians call a "happy clappy church" one of those ones with a band, singing and clapping. I left that life when I seemed to have developed a more critical mind that allowed me to think more for myself. I called out my church friends for all their guilt tripping and shaming behaviour, rejected the church ideology, and basically walked out and never went back. Our church was often described as a cult by outsiders. I really dislike it when people just brush things off (with regards to trauma caused by relatives) as "they meant well". Nah they are blind to their own hypocrisy is what they are.

And this morning on my way to work I've been experiencing a big array of emotions around that. It's funny because internally I'm just observing myself experience these emotions as if the trauma or issue is a bon fire and my emotions are cave men dancing around it and screeching. I'm not reacting to the emotions, there is just me sitting there watching these crazy cave men get all hyped up and upset over whatever it is they are dancing around. I can see I'm on the edge of discovering just what it is that is hidden in the fire. I'm like the fool tarot card, about to fall off the cliff. And then when I fall down it's going to be a massive healing breakthrough with a lot of emotional release.

Despite what people tell you, spiritual people don't have it all figured out. And a lot of the time they are still a work in progress. Even masters or gurus are not perfect. The difference is in how they respond to the work being done. Many years ago I would have run away from myself. I even wanted to fake my death once and start a new life. That's how much I was hurting. But now, when I see this process of destruction is starting up, I just sit down and wait for it. And when it happens I'm open to receive whatever I need to experience, hear, or sense.

It's actually really amazing to work with dark chaotic crone type goddesses in healing work, and usually they are the ones waiting for you when you fall off the cliff. They destroy what is necessary and then when you're all broken down they initiate the rebirthing for you. But they are also very compassionate despite often appearing in a terrifying form. They know how painful and hard the breakdown is, and they carry you through that and at the same time help you find reasons to celebrate it. The breakdown is beautiful because of what it can create. I might share at a later time ways to work with deities and how you start that kind of working relationship.

But anyway, I guess at the moment I'll just wait to fall off the cliff. May I fall into love.

#Personal #Healing work #Vulnerable

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casually-inlove · 5 years

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Hello, I thoroughly enjoy your in depth analysis on 19 days and wanted your opinion. If you had to classify each character as a personality trait what would it be? It doesn't have to be their best or worse. Thank you!

‘Lo! Anon-san, I’m sorry, I know you asked this question yesterday, but I didn’t have time, so I’m kinda late with replying. Ofc it’s always a pleasure to know that people find shorts bits I write entertaining/interesting.

Concerning your question, it’s very thought-provoking (somehow it made me think of Tarot cards hmm) even though I doubt I’ll tell you anything ground-breaking.

Momo

To me, one of the most notable qualities that define him as a character is his ability to persevere. Let’s face it: life hasn’t been kind to him. He’d faced prejudices based on people’s ignorance regarding his father, he’d faced having everything taken away from him — people theorize that the restaurant where everything went south belonged to the Mo’s, meaning that they were relatively well-off and thus had lost both their status and money. We can also gather that Mo had been ostracised and isolated by his peers, which supposedly led him to fall in with the wrong gang — that one of She Li — where he had been treated like shit and ostensibly made to participate in questionable things. Even now he has to deal with his family debts and debts collectors that go hand in hand with that. Despite all that nasty stuff he doesn’t break down, doesn’t become a completely embittered ball of hatred. Doesn’t stoop to debasing himself either — that’s something commendable. The thing is that his perseverance often takes a form of withdrawing into his own shell. While it’s a perfectly understandable defence mechanism, it’s also a double-edged sword: Mo doesn’t trust easily, doesn’t see the need to let anyone into his life. His views of others are skewed and tinted by his often tragic experiences. Moreover, he’s obstinate in doing so. Once his views are set in stone, he’s reluctant to change them. With that said, I do believe that he represents tenacity mixed with obstinacy.

He Tian / He Cheng

With He Tian, I’m a bit on a fence, ahaha. I’d say that one of the key traits that define him for me is his self-will, his streak to do things as he sees fit. Given his history of acting haughty (bossing Mo around), it’s both a flaw and a boon. Nevertheless, I do consider it to be his strong suit. He had a spine to see that his family (father presumably) is up to no good. He had a spine to break away from them, to realize he’s his own person. He had a spine to start living on his own — again presumably at a very young age. While some may say that he’s always had everything handed to him on a silver platter, it still takes a LOT of balls to start living on your own when you are fifteen or younger, and it takes much more to rebel when your family dabbles in criminal activities. I should also point out that despite being headstrong and willful He Tian’s also selfless and kind, even though it may take on twisted forms. There’s also something else that defines He Tian for me, and that is his ability to put on a facade, to grin and bear it. OX has shown several times that he’s lonely and suffering deeply from his past traumas, yet when he’s out there, he never shows the world his pain. Nobody knows how much hurt is hidden behind those eyes. Again, it’s neither good or bad; still, it takes a strong character to keep on smiling despite feeling dead inside. This stoicism is a trait he shares with He Cheng, though HC takes it up to eleven.

Zhan Zheng Xi

We see so little of his inner world which is definitely a shame. For me ZZX embodies moderation. He always seems to be reserved in things he says, things he does, in things he wears — and he’s completely fine with that. Also, he gives me an impression of someone committed to being organized and punctual. He’s the one to keep his head cool whenever the duo encountered Mo, to the point when he de facto refused to twist Momo’s balls. In general, he seems to think a bit before acting — but that is not to say that he’s always the mature one. However more often than not it was ZZX who prevented (or tried to prevent) Jian Yi from doing foolish stuff. So I think that moderation suits him well, as banal as it may sound.

Jian Yi

He’s the one that is most amiable and open among the other boys. I believe it stems from him having a lonely childhood — we saw that other children often bullied him too, and unlike Momo, he didn’t have his mom there for him most of the time. We also know that Jian Yi longed to have a company — to have physical proof that he’s not alone. And this is partly what drives him to ultimately forgive his wrongdoers and to hold no grudges against them to the point of becoming buddies. We see it happen with Momo and that girl who had a crush on ZZX. So he could definitely embody amicability. However, there’s another trait that he seems to represent, at least to my mind. And that is giddiness. He’s effervescent, very lively, always in motion, nearly always acting on his whims. His mood is very protean too — you could argue that his ability to change his attitude towards those who wronged him is also a part of his mutability. Again, this is neither a good nor a bad trait, yet it makes Jian Yi very flexible when needed. In that regard, he’s the opposite of Momo, who’s slow/reluctant to change. So yeah, for me Jian Yi represents the ability to change and adapt.

Regarding other characters, like She Li or brother Qiu, I think I’d like to have more input data before assessing them. I’m sure that both of them are fascinating and simply didn’t get the chance to steal the spotlight yet. Again all of it is just my opinion. It goes without saying that OX has put an incredible effort into creating multifaceted characters that are so much more than they appear to be at a glance, and they simply cannot be described with just one trait.

#19 days #thank you for the fascinating ask~#it had me thinking about deeper stuff #long post #mo guan shan #he tian #zhan zheng xi #jian yi #he cheng #ask #anonymous

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hermeticimp · 5 years

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Underwater Ariel’s Your Eeveelution Tarot Spread - My Results

Hey! I’ve been meaning to do with this one for awhile and now I finally have the energy to sit down and do this. Eevee has always been one of my favorite Pokemon, so when I saw this spread by @underworldariel, I was ecstatic to try it!

I used both of my decks again in this reading: The Linestrider Tarot and The Arcana official tarot deck. Below is a picture of the cards.

Eevee - Current me

I drew The Tower (L) and Six of Cups (A). Right now, I’m in the midst of massive changes and revelations. I’ve been delving more into my spirituality, which has forced me to come to terms with a lot of issues. It’s been intense and I’m still finding my path, but I know it’s for the best. I’ve already started to see some of the benefits. My revelations have lead me to explore my past, both in regards to past lives and past memories. Some unbidden feelings have been drawn up, but most of the past reminders have brought me joy. I know that exploring my past is a key to growth. I have to deal with past problems, confront them, and let them go. My personal history is important, but making sure I change from that past is equally so.

Jolteon - What sparks my energy and revitalizes me?

I drew Two of Wands (L) and Four of Wands Reversed (A). My spark lies in growing more independent, starting new endeavors, and cleansing my life of things that may be holding me back. Lately, I’ve been spending more and more time considering what I want versus any expectations of what I should do. I’m pursuing a path that best suits my needs and interests. I’ve always been rather indecisive and worried about how others might feel about what I do. All that’s done is made me doubt and ignore myself. I’ve been feeling a lot more energetic and excited since I’ve turned away from that. That’s led me to start deciding what it’s time for me to leave behind. It make shake up my stability and old habits, but hey, out with the old, and in with the new.

Flareon - What inspires your drive and passions?

I drew Four of Pentacles Reversed (L) and Eight of Cups Reversed (A). My drive and passions are inspired by material desire and trusting my instincts. Let’s face it: I enjoy beautiful and new things. I like to surround myself with things that either remind me of myself or of the beauty of the world. It’s my way of dealing with my fears of the world and my own insecurity. It’s a trait I have to work on though because it can lead to danger if I end up overspending. Beyond earthly pleasures, developing my intuition is a huge driving factor with me. I want to push this ability to its full extent, but at the same time, I know I shouldn’t let my passion get ahead of me. I’m working at the right pace for me and I’ve seen plenty of results. I’m just excited to see where I’m going to end up.

Umbreon - What’s the shadow side of you that nobody sees?

For this, I drew Strength Reversed (L) and The Devil (A). How apt, is the first thought that comes to mind for a question like this. The side of me that nobody sees my inner strength and my perceptions. I am a strong person. I know this for a fact. Even when I get hit with my depressive episodes or anxiety, I know I can handle it. People tend to underestimate what I can and can’t deal with. It’s rather irritating to be seen as capable in one scenario, but needing to be treated like a child in another. I’ve dealt with a lot of crazy shit on my own, shit that set me down to the depth of my spirit in despair. But guess? I’m still hear, kicking and crawling my way back up every time. The flip to this is that everybody doesn’t see just how much I can doubt myself and how dark my mind get. I can hurt myself like nobody else can. Overcoming that has been part of my journey to hell and back. I have so many self-imposed boundaries that have hindered me. No one has seen just how desperate and dark they’ve made me and they never will. Slowly but surely I’m ripping each of those boundaries apart. Only time will tell what will happen then.

Leafeon - How am I blossoming and growing?

I drew Queen of Pentacles Reversed (L) and Nine of Pentacles Reversed (A). Right now, I’m blossoming into someone who is more compassionate, loving, understanding, nurturing, and productive. This period in my life has given me plenty of opportunities to expand on my skills and outlook. The more I experience and come to understand, the more my nurturing side evolves. I’m aligning with the Universe and opening my heart. I’m coming to understand what I’m capable of and how to achieve that. This is a time for me to work hard and push forward, to embrace my prosperity. I must also be careful not to be so preoccupied with my moving forward and avoid the relationships that important to me. Those are just as vital to my life as anything else.

Sylveon - What is my magical talent on Earth?

I drew King of Swords Reversed (L) and The Chariot (A). My magical talent lies in my intellect and drive to succeed. Even if I may not necessarily consider very ambitious, I know what I want and I go after it. I utilize my logic, strength, courage, and wisdom to explore my desires, see what’s feasible, and implement a method to achieve it. I’m in control of myself and my destiny. Sometimes, that also means knowing when to let go. As good as I might be at being rational, I also know that cultivating my intuition is equally important. I’m aware of when and where to use one or the other and when to use both. I’m here to succeed at my mission and use what I learn to advise others. That’s where my truest abilities lie.

Glaceon - What’s something that I need to ice out of?

I drew Death (L) and Page of Swords (A). Something i need to ice out of is holding onto the past and letting others dictate my path for me. This theme has already come up. I’ve let so many things from the past remain unresolved and as a result, they’ve dragged me down. Finally learning to make peace with them will let me move on. I also feel Death is telling me that, even though I’m experiencing changes, I need to realize i’m not really becoming someone else so much as I’m becoming who I already am. I need to let go of the idea that I’m changing into a radically different person. All the messages I’ve got lately is that everything I need are the things I already have. I’m not being told to do anything but trust in myself and what I can do. I’m not being told I need to become a new me. This message resonates deeply. I already understand so much... I’m just letting insecurities cover that up. The Page is reminding of that along with not letting others hinder me. Spiritually, I’ve been wanting to post more here about my own ideas. However, I see how judgmental people can be, which makes me hesitant to. The Page is telling me to ignore that. I know how I feel and why. I understand my beliefs better than anyone else and they come from a place of deep reflection, research, and intuition. I don’t need to worry about those who might criticize me, but to focus on saying what I need to and knowing who needs to hear it will.

Espeon - What’s an innate fact of me that my soul knows?

I drew Wheel of Fortune (L) and Ace of Pentacles Reversed (A). An innate fact that I know on a soul level is my ability to take things as they come. Or in other words to go with the flow. Now, this isn’t to say that I just passively accept things as they come. It means that I know how to adapt to the circumstances that have come at me. If there’s one thing I’ve never doubted much about myself, it’s my resiliency. When dealing with things, people have told me how admirable it is that I’m still a loving and strong person despite what I’ve gone through. I kind of shrugged it off, usually because I felt it was nothing special. Others have dealt with far, far worse. It’s just how I am. Nonetheless, it’s something I appreciate. Even in the lowest moments, there is a part of me that knows that it’ll blow over. I’ll get through it, just like everything else. My episode will pass, these horrific memories will pass, the exhaustion and self hate will pass. I know how to adapt and survive no matter what the circumstances are.

Vaporeon - What is something that is powerfully fluid about me?

I drew Nine of Swords Reversed (L) and Page of Wands (A). And now we come to the very last set. My mind and energy are incredibly fluid. I’m a naturally anxious person. I have GAD. My mind runs at a mile a minute and it can be a Herculean task to get it to calm. However, it’s something I can work with. Even at my worst, I know how to adapt and still get what I need to get done completed. Whether it be school assignments, basic chores, adventuring, emotional turmoil or whatever, I know how to work with it. The human mind is capable of some incredible and unbelievable things. When I despair, I channel it into my writing, my art, or my musical skills. It’s something I can transform into something positive instead of just letting it eat me alive. My energy is similarly adaptive. I have intense highs and lows, which I work with. Understanding how these aspects of me work allows me to accomplish my dreams. I dash forward in my bursts and fall back in my lows. It’s what keeps me working my way up.

So those are my eevelutions in full. I had a lot of fun with this! Spreads like this make me want to delve more into pop culture magic, tarot, and self reflection, so thanks to April for creating and sharing this! I’ll have to try my hand at this kind of thing sometime in the future, maybe pretty soon~.

#underwaterariel #tarot spreads #eveelutions #eveelution tarot #tarot #tarot readings #personal readings #personal growth #eevelution tarot spread #readings

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esselley · 6 years

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Happy birthday @allykat023! I’m so glad I snuck into your DMs all those months ago <333 LOVE YOU LOTS!

[Now on AO3!]

[*clears throat* the context for this fic is that Oikawa is a psychic single dad trying to raise two annoying ghost kids, and the ghosts are winning]

It is beginning to become clear to Tooru that there is, in fact, some absolute bullshit going on, and he is definitely not amused by any of it.

This is the fifth time in a little over a month he’s had to have a plumber come to look at his apartment—he’s even had to reschedule tarot readings—and yet, as far as anyone can tell, plumber included… nothing seems to be the problem.

Which means that the only problem, then, is the bright and unabiding torch Tooru seems to be unable to set down, in regards to the plumber himself.

“So…” the man says, wiping his hands dry on a towel in his belt loop. Tooru has to tear his eyes away from the prominent flex of his biceps as he does so, the swell of his pecs beneath his uniform polo shirt. The name tag on it reads Iwaizumi. “Can you walk me through what happened again?”

Tooru almost offers to walk him wherever he wants to go, up to and including the bedroom. He clenches his jaw shut so the words don’t escape. Now is not the time to be thirsty—he doesn’t even have running water.

“I was in the shower,” he says, and feels his cheeks go distinctly pink just from the suggestion of nakedness, and forces himself to look at the man. Mistake. He finds his gaze being met by a pair of serious, attentive green eyes; Tooru feels like he’s baring his soul, not recapping the issues with his faulty water line. He clears his throat, hoping Iwaizumi has not noticed the unnecessarily long pause while he gathers himself. “I was… showering, when the water started to feel—strange? I don’t know how to describe it. And when I looked, it was… purple.”

“Purple,” Iwaizumi repeats, deadpan.

“Yes.”

“Well,” Iwaizumi says, turning the shower knob to the side. Out the water comes, clear as usual. “It’s not now.”

“I can see that,” Tooru sniffs. It’s one thing to have a crush; it’s another thing to have a crush on someone who clearly thinks he’s an idiot.

“Just like,” the distressingly attractive handyman continues, and oh, no, Tooru can see what’s coming next, “last week, when not only did the water not run cold when you tried to turn it hot, but the toilet also flushed the correct way. Which is to say—”

“Down, yes, I know,” Tooru cuts him off, feeling increasingly mortified. Last week had really been a nightmare—frigid water every time he tried to shower, and toilet geysers every which way he looked. “Look, I’m just as confused as you are! One of your colleagues who came the… second time, was it? He said it could be something to do with the pipes. Mold, or something!” He shudders at the thought. “Maybe he could give a second opinion?”

Iwaizumi scoffs. “He’s not coming back. Why do you think I’ve been here four times already?”

“I don’t… know?” Tooru says. “I figured—scheduling?”

“Yeah, he’s been scheduling himself other jobs so he doesn’t have to come here,” Iwaizumi says. “He’s superstitious. All your weird, mystical stuff, it freaked him out.”

“What—” Tooru can’t believe this. “But it’s not dangerous!”

“You try telling him that,” Iwaizumi says, shaking his head. “He kept telling me he felt a presence.”

“But I would have felt it, too,” Tooru insists. He knows people tend to take one of two routes with this: skittish, like the other plumber. Or skeptical, like Iwaizumi. But he seriously needs his house fixed, or he’s going to lose it. “There’s no other presences here, besides me and—”

He trails off. Wait just a fucking second.

“That’s what I tried to tell him, but he wouldn’t bite. So, good luck getting him back here…” Iwaizumi shrugs. “Looks like you’re stuck with me.”

Tooru waves a hand vaguely. “Oh, I don’t mind that.” He peers around the room, turning in a slow circle.

“You… don’t?” Iwaizumi asks, eyebrows raising in surprise. When Tooru doesn’t answer, he glances around the room suspiciously, too. “What are you doing?”

“Shhh...” Tooru says, holding up a hand. “I’m divining for spirits.”

“Are you serious,” Iwaizumi says flatly. “Listen, I’m gonna pack up and head out—I won’t bill you for today, I barely—”

“Shhhhh!” Tooru hisses, silencing him. The air in the room feels very still, to him—still and pitched high, like a tuning fork being struck although in reality, all is quiet.

He spots movement at the edges of his vision and whips his head sharply to the side, where he sees them—two wide, floating pairs of eyes in the bathroom mirror, not a reflection, but an impression. One pair deep and dark, the other sparking and bright. Two little souls, bound to him by choice.

He flings out a hand and points dramatically at the mirror. “It’s been YOUUUU!” he howls, startling Iwaizumi, and both pairs of eyes dance about in silent panic before blipping out of existence. Only they’re still there, he knows, just hiding.

“What the fuck—” Iwaizumi says, but very unfortunately, Tooru doesn’t have time to devote to him anymore—he needs to figure out how to murder someone who is already dead. An exorcism is too good for these little shits.

“Sorry, Iwa-chan, but I'll have to say bye for today—” Tooru tells him as he rolls his sleeves up menacingly.

“Iwa-chan?”

“The spirits have turned against me!” Tooru yells, shoving him towards the door. “This is no place for a normal person, quickly, escape!”

“Wait a second—”

“I'll be fine!” Tooru insists, before he bodily shoved Iwaizumi out into the hallway. It's not easy—Iwaizumi is solid. “Forget what you saw here today,” Tooru hisses ominously at him through the crack in the door, before slamming it shut in his stunned face.

Now. To deal with his little ghoulish problem.

He yanks the plush tablecloth and all his seance equipment off his dining room table and locates a piece of ordinary chalk. After several moments of frantic scribbling, it is covered in the symbols and sigils of a powerful summoning circle. He places candles around the edges, and begins to chant a binding ritual ominously. The candle flames flicker, and his hair blows in the gathering breeze inside his living room.

A noise begins to build as well, a terrible, scraping, screaming noise, filled with agony and tumult. It gets louder as he chants, and as it grows, so too do two indistinct shapes in the center of the summoning circle. They writhe and tremble, shapes at once frightening and pitiable, carving to his whim at the same time that they fight it with all their might. The flames suddenly surge upwards, bursting to life, and Tooru slams his hands down on the tabletop.

“Would you give it a rest with that?” he says crossly, and the unearthly screeching stops at once. “The neighbors are going to complain again!”

“Why couldn't you just call us normally?” Kageyama asks him. His ghostly form bubbles sulkily, like seething, purplish-blue lava.

“Because,” Tooru says, pointing an accusatory finger at him, “you two never come out when you know you're in trouble, you just make me follow your traces all over the apartment—”

“Are we in trouble?” Hinata asks. He is light made solid, a fizzing sine wave of glinting gold.

“Obviously!” Tooru says, and both ghosts wobble flinchingly. “What on earth are you two trying to do? Do you know how much money I've spent on repair company appraisals that all lead nowhere?”

Honestly, even he isn’t sure what they’re up to. It's not like them—they aren't poltergeists, they're not malicious. For all that Tooru pretends it's a chore having them around, he's constantly surprised by how little he actually does mind. Since the two of them unceremoniously crashed his life as an (extremely) eligible bachelor and practicing psychic, they've been content to just keep each other company and learn how to be better ghosts. Unfortunately, this seems to have included manifesting the ability to haunt his plumbing.

He shakes his head. “This isn't like you two. I'm… frankly, I'm disappointed.”

The candles flicker morosely and the chandelier directly overhead sways in remorse.

“We… we just wanted to help,” Hinata says eventually.

“Help with what?” Tooru asks, blankly.

“You just seemed lonely!”

“He’s gonna get mad…” Kageyama warns.

“I seemed lonely?” Tooru repeats, sputtering. That's preposterous, to say the least. “I'm certainly not. I could never be lonely with you two—” he catches himself just in time, “—with you two constantly pestering me!”

“It's not the same!” Hinata says.

“Trust me, Shouyou-chan—”

“We noticed the way you stare at the repairman,” Kageyama interjects.

Tooru's mouth falls open. He cannot believe he is being set up with his plumber by two dead idiots who still haven't realized they are in love with each other.

“Have you, Tobio-chan?” he replies, with a silken smile. “Recognize the feeling, do you?”

Kageyama must realize the danger he's in, because he stops trying to argue. Tooru drops his smile.

“You two,” he says, “are going to stay in the circle for awhile and think about your actions. Also, there is to be no possessing of any household objects for one whole week, effective immediately.”

Kageyama and Hinata both whine something awful at this, and Tooru crosses his arms and basks in their misery for a few glorious moments. They love racing each other to possess things right before Tooru uses them, but they’ve never try to make anything malfunction before, so he allows it. Hinata's favorite is the teapot, because it tickles when it starts to boil. Kageyama likes the aging washing machine. He's never said why, but Tooru suspects it's because the old thing sounds nearly as grumpy as Kageyama himself does when it really gets going on its spin cycle.

“Keep it up,” he sings, as the candles start to turn an odd shade of green, “and it's gonna be two weeks.”

The whining stops, but Kageyama does throw a “You know we're right,” at him as he leaves them there in the summoning circle. Tooru does not deign to respond.

“How long before we can come out?” Hinata calls after him.

“Until I say you can,” Tooru replies. He ignores their ghostly wailing for the rest of the afternoon, until they have settled down and started to play I, Spy with each other. He refuses to admit that he finds it adorable when they get along, even if it's mostly because they're plotting against him together.

Unfortunately, the plotting does not end there. A few days pass without incident, and Tooru is lulled into a false sense of security. The week comes and goes; Friday arrives in a leisurely fashion. So leisurely, in fact, that Tooru decides to take a luxurious bubble bath to pamper himself. He spends a long time soaking in the tub, and is slightly surprised to see no signs of his two ghosts anywhere—normally, they would get into a game of Bubble Wars while Tooru relaxed, watching the massive orange and blue soap bubbles floating around the bathroom, trying to ram each other to see who would pop first. Today, all is quiet, and so Tooru enjoys a glass of wine in peace.

He finishes his bath and lets the tub drain, wrapping towels around his waist and his wet hair. He will need to blow dry it and make sure it looks appropriately dashing before his evening client appointment, and he’s about to dig the hairdryer out from under the sink when there’s an odd rumbling sound from behind him. He turns, frowning, to look at the toilet.

Naturally, this is the point at which the toilet attempts to murder him.

“WHY?!” he shrieks, devoid of anything else to say in his panic, as twisting tendrils of water burst from the bowl, latching around his arms and legs, dragging him towards it. Try as he might, he can’t break free, and as he is wrenched closer and closer, the entire opening of the toilet seems to yawn, wide—he can see blackness and light swirling in its depths, and he realizes, shit, spirit portal— “Tobio-chan?! Shouyou?!”

The entire bathroom is flooding with water. There’s a horrible, slurping, shloomp-ing sound as Tooru hits the rim of the bowl and starts to get sucked inside of it. He can feel the vacuum of empty space seizing onto him, an unstoppable force.

“You little shits, I’m going to make you corporeal long enough to punch you both in the face—”

He hears a loud banging from far away, and wonders, what now, but then comes the sound of something splintering, and a moment later a voice bellows, “OIKAWA?”

Tooru gasps. “I-Iwa-chan?!”

He hears someone running, and then Iwaizumi—how is he here, Tooru wonders—bursts onto the scene, framed in the doorway, bearing a stunning resemblance to an angry bull. He takes in the sight before him quickly—the toilet, the spirit portal, Tooru’s hair in a towel cone—and leaps into action. He wades through the flood, reaching out, and Tooru stretches out his hands—Iwaizumi grabs his arms and heaves, and Tooru begins, ever so slowly, to pull free of the portal.

“GRAB ON, STUPID!” Iwaizumi shouts at him, and Tooru throws caution to the winds and flings his arms around his neck, and Iwaizumi seizes him around the waist and yells bloody murder as he leans all the way backwards—and then they’re falling free, onto the bathroom floor, Tooru crushed to Iwaizumi’s extremely firm and noticeably broad chest. There’s a howling, rushing noise, and all the water on the floor recedes whiplash fast, suctioned back into the toilet, which then closes its lid with a sassy and decisive snap.

For a moment, neither Tooru, nor Iwaizumi moves. They just lay there, panting and exhausted. Iwaizumi lets out a slow breath.

“Holy shit,” he says, “your apartment is haunted.”

Tooru sighs. “It’s not haunted. It’s being visited by spirits.”

“That literally is what haunted means,” Iwaizumi points out.

“We’re not visiting, we live here!” Tobio’s ghostly voice shouts in Tooru’s ear.

“I’m evicting you!” Tooru shouts back, incensed.

“Are you talking to the—” Iwaizumi says, before sitting up abruptly, causing Tooru to roll off of him. He hastily readjusts the towel around his waist—he’s lucky it stayed on at all. Iwaizumi swats at the air. “Hey! You fucking ghosts! What the hell is your problem?!”

“They’re trying to get me to—” Tooru pinches his lips shut, irritably. He settles on redirecting the conversation. “Why… how did you know I was in trouble?”

“I didn’t,” Iwaizumi says. “I mean, not until I heard you screaming.”

“Screaming seems like an exaggeration—”

“I thought it was the fire alarm at first,” Iwaizumi says. He is ruthless. Tooru likes it.

“Okay,” he concedes, “but that doesn’t explain why you were here.”

“Ah,” Iwaizumi says, “well… the days have been alternating.” When Tooru continues to look confused, he elaborates. “The first time you called us was on a Monday. Then Thursday of that same week. Then the next week, Friday. Then last week, back to Monday, then Thursday. Now it’s Friday, so I just thought…”

“Of course.” Tooru snaps his fingers in realization. “Spirits can’t tell the flow of time like you or I, so often, they’ll develop certain predictable paths of behavior… you must be sensitive to their ways in order to have seen that!”

Iwaizumi stares at him. “Or… I’m just better at pattern recognition than you are?”

Tooru waves a hand. “Whatever. Second question: did you break my door down?”

Iwaizumi’s expression turns slightly shifty. “Kicked it off its hinges, actually… I can fix it.”

Tooru only wishes he'd been there to witness it. Iwaizumi stands, and Tooru allows himself to be helped to his feet, Iwaizumi’s strong, sturdy arms steadying him after he pulls Tooru off the floor. He notices, then, two fuzzy gazes peering out of the mirror at him, and scowls at them. He can’t decide how angry he is yet. On the one hand, having Iwaizumi come daringly to his rescue is hardly the worst thing that could be happening to him on a Friday afternoon. On the other hand, he’d been stuck inside of a toilet when it had happened; not quite the stuff of romance novels.

Iwaizumi notices him staring, and turns to look curiously at the mirror. “You don’t act like they’re evil.”

“They’re not,” Tooru says, rolling his eyes. “They’re just meddlesome and stupid.”

“Hey!” Hinata yelps.

“Well, you are.”

Iwaizumi’s lips twitch. “So… mind telling me what they were meddling for?”

“Um…” Tooru does mind—but unfortuately, it doesn’t seem as though this is going to stop unless he does something drastic. Like telling Iwaizumi the truth. And so, because he doesn’t want some innocent civilian constantly being pulled into the affairs of ghosts, he says glumly, “They want me to ask you out.”

There. Now, Iwaizumi will reject him, and Kageyama and Hinata will finally get out of his business.

“Well, why don’t you?” Iwaizumi asks.

“Why don’t I what?”

“Why don’t you ask me out?”

Tooru opens his mouth to explain why he’s not going to ask Iwaizumi out, when his synapses finish firing properly. He blinks. “...I thought you’d say no.”

“Okay…” Iwaizumi says, and though his expression is completely serious, Tooru swears his dark eyes are gleaming a bit in amusement. “Why would I say no?”

“Because I’m weird,” Tooru tells him. Is he being made fun of?

Iwaizumi shrugs. “Everyone’s a little weird,” he says. “You talk to ghosts. I get crushes on idiots who can talk to ghosts. While I’m trying to fix their haunted toilet.”

“You—have a—” Tooru splutters. “On—on me?”

“Yeah, so, I may not have been totally honest before?” Iwaizumi confesses. “You did freak my colleague out, but I offered to take the house calls from you… I was pretty curious.”

Tooru gapes at him for a few more seconds, before composing himself. He attempts to sweep his hair back, but just ends up knocking the towel off his head. He acts like this was intentional.

“Well, then,” he says, “I’m glad that’s been resolved.” He turns to address the room at large. “You hear that, you monsters? I told you I’d take care of it, so you can stop being the worst, now.” Oh, my god, Iwaizumi is into him.

“You didn’t take care of jack shit,” Kageyama says.

“Language, Tobio-chan!”

“You swear all the time!”

“What… are their names again?” Iwaizumi asks.

“The stupid one is Shouyou,” Tooru says, ignoring Hinata’s continued protesting. “And the stupider one is Tobio.” Tobio joins in.

Iwaizumi tries unsuccessfully to bite back a grin. “Okay. Well… Shouyou, Tobio, I’m Hajime. It’s, uh—nice to meet you?”

The discarded towel suddenly lifts at the corners, like it’s waving at Iwaizumi. He takes a reflexive step backwards, before laughing, somewhat in shock. He waves back.

It makes Tooru feel terribly fond, which he hates; not just because he's only spoken to Iwaizumi five times so far in his life, but also because Hinata and Kageyama deserve an exorcism, not an introduction. But Tooru thinks he will let it slide, this once.

“Would you like a cup of coffee?” he asks Iwaizumi.

“I would…” Iwaizumi says, “but I should probably head home to shower…”

“Stay,” Tooru says lightly, even though his heart is pounding, just a little. “And use mine?”

Iwaizumi grins. “Might as well. I’m pretty familiar with it already.”

This is actually a continuation of a previous ghost!KageHina fic I wrote, which can be read here! And has a sequel here~

[For easy-to-find updates on fic, I have a writing-only blog: @esselle-hq!]

#haikyuu!!#iwaoi #oikawa tooru #iwaizumi hajime #kagehina #kageyama tobio #hinata shouyou #kagehina fanfiction #haikyuu!! fanfiction #esselle writes #tumblr fic #the haunting of oikawa tooru #essie's hq fic

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cutegirlmayra · 6 years

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Hello Marya :) I would like to request a headcanon or a prompt regarding our beloved couple referencing a song...~but, there's a catch...It's in a different language so that may be a bit of a challenge. Too bad I can't give you the English translation but the title of the song is "Kathang Isip" by Ben&Ben...I don't know why it reminds me of them every time I listen! We all know Amy would never give up but I just :'( *Sobs* (doesn't really matter if its Boom! or Modern!)

This was a little tricky, not gonna lie, but the song is lovely! As I read the lyrics, I could totally see moments where this was Sonamy, a good chunk I could even say was Sonic’s feelings, so I thought that really cool.

Song: (x) Lyrics: (x)

Prompt:

‘Di ba nga ito ang 'yong gusto (Isn’t this what you wanted?)

Amy is packing a suitcase, placing some things in before looking behind her, seeing with her glossy eyes the picture on top of the fireplace shelf.

O, ito'y lilisan na ako (Here, I’ll be leaving now)

It’s a photo of her hugging Sonic, remembering the moment as the picture comes to life. Sonic smiles and leans his head away from her on-coming affections. She nuzzles in close before laughing as he looks back to smile towards her. It’s a friendly scene… before she turns back with no expression, eyes half cut from the shot, and closes the suitcase. She storms out of the house.

Mga alaala'y ibabaon Kalakip ang tamis ng kahapon (I’ll burry the memories Along with yesterday’s sweet)

She covers her crying face with her arm, looking clearly upset as Sonic enters the scene from the opposite side, having walked up the road and stops to see her leave. No expression, just watching… steadily following her figure at a distance.

Mga gabing di namamalayang Oras ay lumilipad (On nights when I don’t notice Time flying by)

He opens the door, before looking around and walking in. He sees a faded memory of Amy preparing dinner, welcoming him in as she dusts off her hands on her apron and jumps into his arms,. He rubs the back of his head before stumbling a little back as she tackles into him, but nods in agreement at having dinner with her.

Mga sandaling lumalayag Kung sa'n man tayo mapadpad (Moments sailing away Wherever we go)

The image fades back to a dreary, dark dinner table in the other room, before he closes the door behind him without looking away from it, and walks up the stairs.

Amy is on top of a hill, before she stops, holding her suitcase in front of her, and turns to look back at the house.

Bawat kilig na nadarama(The excitement that I feel)

Sonic sits on the bed, holding his hand with his thumb in the center of the palm, and then closes his open hand and turns away, squinting his eyes closed. Camera pans right from close up.

Sa tuwing hawak ang iyong kamay(Every time I hold your hand)

Ito'y maling akala(It was a misinterpretation)

Amy close up too, her mouth forms down and to the side of her muzzle, before tears fall and she covers her face as she cries. Another Camera pan.

Isang malaking sablay(It was one huge miscalculation)

It flashes between Sonic getting up, Amy racing sloppily down the hill. Sonic kicking the ground, gripping his head as he rests his elbows on the dresser. Amy stumbling to the ground and her things falling out.

Pasensya ka na (I’m sorry)

Split screen of them crying, faces covered, but mouths panting through sobs is revealed.

Fade to black instantly.

Sa mga kathang isip kong ito Wari'y dala lang ng (For these imaginations of mine I just got carried away by)

Fade back to Amy on a bus, it rocking her back and force a bit as her eyes look soulless, void of light. Sonic walking out of the house, looking off in the distance Amy took off in.

Pagmamahal sa iyo (My love for you)

Sonic’s glossy eyes stare at the top of the hill, as her image appears instantly, dropping her bags and rushing to him before disappearing just as fast as he saw it.

Ako'y gigising na (Now I will wake up)

Sonic wakes up in trees with a startle, an arm up over his head, before his eyes slowly close in grief. Camera zoom up and away.

Sa panaginip kong ito (From this dream of mine)

Camera fades to black, then Amy setting her suitcase down in an empty apartment.

At sa wakas ay kusang (And finally, I will willingly)

There’s an image of Sonic’s hand that reaches to her own on the suitcase, holding it a moment.

Lalayo sa iyo (Walk away from you)

The image of his hand fades instantly, and she bundles her hand into a tight, grieful fist.

-Lalayo sa- (turn away from)

Her eyes are locked on her hand upon the suitcase… before swishing her head and having the camera quickly skim with another side-swipe pan to blur out until stopping on Classic Sonic and classic Amy first meeting.

Gaano kabilis nagsimula Gano'n katulin nawala (What started so quickly As it had vanished)

They both are seeing each other for the first time.. then that image vanishes into the wind.

Maaari ba tayong bumalik sa umpisa Upang 'di na mawasak ang pusong nag-iisa (Can we go back to the start So as not to break this lonely heart)

Side-wipe camera affects again to show more shadowy figures of Sonic and Amy. Amy leaning forward towards Sonic, hands behind her back, hair and dress moving in the wind. Sonic with a hand on his hip, slowly looking her way, with the wind on his quills.

Pasensya ka na (I’m sorry)

The image crumbles away.

Sa mga kathang isip kong ito Wari'y dala lang ng Pagmamahal sa iyoAko'y gigising na Sa panaginip kong ito sa wakas ay kusangLalayo sa iyo -Lalayo sa- (For these imaginations of mine I just got carried away by My love for you Now I will wake up From this dream of mine And finally, I will willingly Walk away from you turn away from)

Flashbacks to memorable Sonamy moments through Sonic x era and Canon games, but all in shadows. Quickly returns to Sonic and Amy at present. Amy walking down a city street, most likely Station Square, and moving her hair back as she turns to look off in the distance. Camera angles and moves up before quickly passing the sky and showing Sonic in an intense fight with Eggman. Looking like he’s taking it seriously as he blasts a robot through, dodges the explosion and missiles through the smoke, and charges back at Eggman’s laughing face before Eggman wobbles back in his Eggmobile.

Sumabay sa agos na isinulat ng tadhana Na minsan siya'y para sa ito (Going with the flow that destiny wrote That sometimes she’s the one for you)

Cuts from their to Sonic picking up a note left by Amy, opening it to see the tarot card for Destiny. He picks it up to look at how faded it is, before frowning.

Pero minsan siya'y paasa Tatakbo papalayo (But sometimes she’ll just lead you on I will run away)

Amy opens her door to find the tarot card on the ground outside it. She falls to her knees, covering her mouth as she slides against the door, overwhelmed with sorrow.

Kakalimutan ang lahat (I’ll forget it all) Ohh, Ohh, Ohh.

Sonic adjusts his gloves in the city, looking up at the big screens, seeing happy couples advertising some commercial, and walks on across the street.

Amy working, before leaving at night walking down the road and tieing her coat on. A car’s light flash on and approach her rapidly, as she turns with frightful, widened eyes to it.

Pero kahit sa'n man lumingon Nasusulyapan ang kahapon (But everywhere I look I see moments of yesterday)

Sonic stands at a grave, holding flowers, seeing images of her all around the place. Playing hopscotch on stones, spinning through open spaces, and leaning over to smile and laugh as though enjoying herself next to him before fading.

At sa aking bawat paghinga Ikaw ang nasa isip ko sinta (And with my every breath Darling it’s you who’s in my mind)

He falls to a knee, then the other, and lays the flowers down. Before leaning his head up, then crashing a fist down to the ground, crying out tears you can see for the first time. All this is on beat with the music.

Kaya pasensya ka na (So I’m sorry)

Sonic slowly breaking down for not going after her when she left. crying and prostrating himself on the ground. He opens an eye for a moment, before rubbing his head back against the ground near her grave.

A montage of Sonic going through daily things in his life, but Amy’s image always right beside him, turning ghostly and see-through, fading as he continues to live his life.

'Di ba nga ito ang 'yong gusto (Isn’t this what you wanted?)

Back at the grave sight, he’s back to crying on the ground, before looking up at the tombstone.

O, (Here,)

He drops the flowers.

ito'y lilisan na ako (I’ll be leaving now)

He walks away from her grave, as her image is holding the flowers, watching him go off screen.

(this hurt. Actually, it hurt a lot. but the song was beautiful~)

#sonamy #sonicxamy #tragic really #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #ben&ben #kathang isip #sonic prompt #sonamy prompt #musical prompt #amy rose #sad

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toycarousel · 7 years

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thought 2018 would start off great. But Its already shit. I won't have net as a distraction and therapy. According to Trump I won't exist in documentation, because I don't feel Comfortable in my own skin. Science based and violated aren't allowed. Everyday I try to look up on the Brightside, but I'm done. I don't want to live anymore if I can't even be happy as I am. If I can't even read and do the things I love. I didn't ask to be born poor, but now I can't make my way out. It ends tonight.

That’s incredibly understandable, Anon -- that you were hoping for 2018 to start off better... I think we all hold out a lot of hope that the next year is going to be better than the previous, but it never really ends up being what we want it to be. I think that means we really, really, really have to band together and focus on the good aspects of an upcoming year (or the current year). Look back at some of our victories in 2017, and remember that 2018 is not lost to you yet.

Everything you’ve said here is valid, and it must be profoundly painful to live where you do right now, how you do right now... and I know, truly, what it’s like to want to end that pain, and to feel like the only way to escape it is to die, but that is not the only option, and your death would be a tragedy; there are legitimate reasons why, too (I’m not just telling you this for the sake of saying something “nice,” I promise. I am telling the truth):

Trump isn’t really a spring chicken. And people have read his tweets and heard his Godawful speeches, and even people who voted for him -- even a lot of alt-right people -- have lost faith in him, and are not taking him seriously. Those two things combined lead me to believe that it is extremely likely he’ll either die somewhat soon (I don’t wish death on others, but I still think this option isn’t altogether unlikely), but even more likely is the fact that he has disenfranchised the people in his own country, and the people in other countries, and the likelihood of him EVER getting voted in again are slim to none. That is, if he isn’t impeached first.

That means that his policies won’t last forever. Even now, there are so many people out there fighting against this new classist evil against net neutrality, and there are people fighting against his policies regarding immigrants, trangender people, LGBT+ people in general, and aaaaaaaaall the other bullshit he’s managed to “accomplish.” And he just doesn’t have the genuine support of the white-house, or “his own” people anymore. He simply doesn’t.

Things have gotten worse, and I know just how awful that is to have to see, to have to suffer through, to have to think to oneself “why do people hate me enough to do this to me?” And it’s all born of ignorance, on the part of people like Trump, and on the part of people who let it happen -- but for everyone letting this stuff go through, there are an equal or greater number of people constantly fighting to make things better.

And things will get better. I know that statement is always annoying to hear, but I’m not saying it to give you false hope. These changes for the better may take a few months, a couple years, or they may even happen at night. Depending on the change, it could be a combination. Things could conceivably change for the better even overnight. And if you died before you got the chance to live in a world where things are improving; where you got to experience hope, and joy, and passion for the things you like to do -- that would be a massive tragedy.

Add to that the other fact that there are people who care about you. I know in some cases it doesn’t seem like that at all, but there are. I will always talk to you if/when you need/want to talk, Anon. I am begging you to give yourself the chance to see a better world, and one that might be coming sooner than you think! 2018 hasn’t happened just yet... and though 2016/2017 have seemed like shit-shows, good things have happened, changes have been made, and people are standing up and saying “This is Not Right.”

Life hasn’t been fair to you in a lot of ways, and I admire you for looking on the bright side, because that is not something that comes easily to many. Please give yourself more chances at a happy life, because you can’t take death back... and I don’t want the world, when it does change for the better, to miss out on having you. I don’t want you to miss out on experiencing it.

You can definitely follow-up with this message if you want to talk more, about anything at all... I’ll be sure to check my messages regularly throughout the day. And you can definitely vent, and go into depth about these things if you feel comfortable doing so. I am listening to you, Anon.

Since I’m not a medical professional, I also want to leave you with some resources. I know not everyone wants to talk to a crisis centre, and that’s okay, but I’ve called them a few times and have found resources that turned out to help me with daily, practical life as well, so in addition to having someone trained to talk this out with, you may find that they can give you numbers and names of resources that can start changing your life for the better, sooner:

http://tarot-sybarite.tumblr.com/post/58657918970/depression-suicide-hotline-1-800-suicide-2433 (a huge masterpost of good stuff, including hotlines).

https://www.7cups.com/ (this is for free online counselling, and you may have already heard of it, but it’s great for people who feel uncomfortable talking on the phone!!!)

Also, my mental health resources and general resources tags may have more links to things that could be helpful, in any way!!! Every tiny bit counts when you’re feeling despair...

#suicide #self harm #mental health resources #hotlines #crisis hotlines #ask to tag -#anons #scotchasks

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