#I have been busy all day so I haven’t been able to check my notifications

[theshadowrealmitself]

I’m just saying. I’m just saying that there was some SHADY shit going down at Spock’s school

I get that there’s a huge concern over keeping your emotions in check, but if you actually think about it, they would know and accept that kids have a harder time controlling their emotions, and so they would have systems in place where if a kid lost control of their emotions, they’d help them calm down and talk out how that kid should’ve logically reacted

What I’m saying, is that it would’ve been more in character for the school officials to look through security footage (which would’ve existed!! with it being the future and the way Vulcans like to document everything to the exact nth) and try to talk to Spock about how he should’ve reacted in that situation

Which means they would’ve seen the group of kids taunting him, and something about them makes me think that this is a reoccurring situation, not just with Spock, but any other Vulcan kid not deemed “Vulcan” enough

So although they would’ve done something about Spock losing control of his emotions, they also would’ve been more concerned about the kids making this a terrible learning space for other children, and they would’ve seen the logic in stopping the problem at its source

But instead no investigation was done? Against three kids cornering one, three kids who I’m sure would’ve been in multiple situations where they’ve had some kind of alternation with another kid, who would’ve let the adults know the other kids were taunting them? No investigation?

I think it was a coverup. I don’t think it’s just the school’s xenophobia either, I think one of those kids’ parents, or all of them, have ties in the school, and every time their kid is almost caught for doing something bad, they have the teachers tell the victims that the best thing to do is to control their own emotions and let it happen, making it seem like it was the victim’s fault so their kids get away with it and no investigation is done

I think the s’chn t’gai family should have sued the school.

[daisynik7]

Pairing: Ino Takuma x f!reader

Rating: Explicit - minors do not interact!

Word Count: ~2.5k

cw: next-door neighbor Ino, friends-to-lovers trope, explicit language, smut - cunnilingus

Summary: Ino is the cute guy next door that you’ve befriended ever since you moved in. He’s been nothing but kind to you, and sure, there’s attraction there, but you’ve never acted on it considering you’re already taken. When you find out your long-distance boyfriend is a good-for-nothing cheater, you turn to your friend for comfort, and maybe something more.

Author's Note: My adoration for this man grows everyday! This one is kind of a tease, but I hope you still enjoy it! MDNI divider credit to @/cafekitsune! Taglist: @slvt-for-smut @man-knees @batafuraikisu @neverlandlostchild @bloompompom @dprkento @a-listaire @antique-remains @aiyaaayei

part 5 of to all the boys who live next door anthology series

It's a cold Friday night in the middle of winter when you find out your boyfriend of two years is cheating on you. 

Kenzo is studying for his master’s degree overseas while you remain in your hometown, patiently waiting for his return. You’ve been long distance for almost a year now and while it’s difficult being apart, it’s mostly been manageable. Or so you thought. 

You’re eating dinner with your next-door neighbor, Ino, when Kenzo finally texts you back. He’s been busy studying in the library for his upcoming exams and you haven’t heard much from him all day. When you see his name in your notifications, you can’t help but get excited, dropping your chopsticks to reply to him.

Kenzo: I’m finally home 

You: Yay! Let’s talk soon

Ino prepared hot pot this evening, offering to treat you for the dinner you cooked the other night. The two of you have grown close over these past several months, enough to call each other friends. You’ve never hidden your friendship from Kenzo, who isn’t typically the jealous type. So when you tell him that you’re finishing up with your meal with Ino, you’re surprised when he sends you a rather blunt reply.

Kenzo: Can you hurry up? I have somewhere to be and can’t talk long

Your heart sinks. He never mentioned having any plans later, so you have no idea where he’s going. Ino continues to slurp on his soup innocently across from you. 

You swallow hard, this sense of dread building in your stomach, making you lose your appetite. “Sorry, Ino. I have to go.”

He wipes his mouth with a napkin, looking at you, concerned. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” you answer, avoiding his gaze. “I just have to talk to Kenzo right now before he leaves. I guess he’s going out tonight.” You stand up, guilty about your boyfriend and about abandoning your friend. “Thank you for dinner. I’ll be back later to help you clean up.”

He waves it off, giving you a reassuring grin. “Don’t worry about it. Go do your thing with Kenzo. I’ve got all this taken care of.” 

You smile back at him, thankful to have a neighbor so understanding and so sweet. 

Back in your apartment, you rush into your bedroom, inspecting the mirror quickly to check your appearance before turning on your laptop for the video call. It takes him three rings to pick up. When he does, he greets you with a surly expression. “Hey.”

You smile hesitantly, nervous that he’s upset at you for whatever reason. “Hey. Is everything okay?”

He sighs heavily, running his fingers through his hair. In the two years you’ve been dating him, you recognize this habit of his when he’s bothered by something. “Long day.” 

“You want to talk about it?”

He contemplates, then shakes his head, deciding to change the subject all together. “Did you enjoy dinner?” 

It’s doesn’t seem like a genuine ask. Still, you relax a bit, hoping his bad attitude is from exhaustion and nothing to do with you. “Yeah. Ino made hot pot tonight. I wasn’t able to finish it, but everything I ate so far was really good.”

This seems to strike a nerve in him. There’s that distinguishable twitch in his right eye, another indicator that he’s irritated. “Well, I’m sorry for taking you away from him,” he sneers. “Maybe you should go back to your other boyfriend now to finish your fucking dinner.”

In the one year you’ve been long distance, he’s never snapped at you like this, so you’re startled by his current demeanor. “What?”

He rolls his eyes at you. “It’s obvious you want to fuck him.”

Flabbergasted by this accusation, you repeat, “What?! Kenzo!”

“Why do you spend so much time with him, huh? You really expect me to believe you’re just friends?” His tone is so condescending, your skin prickles, grossed out by his behavior

“Where is this coming from? You never had a problem with Ino before.” You’re completely baffled. Never has he mentioned that he’s suspicious of your neighbor. He’s never had a reason to be. Why now?

He continues to huff into the mic, clearly frazzled by the entire situation. “I think this whole thing is just fucked up. So fucked up.” There’s the sound of vibrating on his desk, most likely his phone. You can see his eyes glancing to the side, reading whatever notification he received.

Bringing his attention back to the matter at hand, you calmly explain, “Kenzo. I promise you, there is nothinggoing on between me and Ino. He’s just a friend. Please believe me.”

Still distracted, he mutters, “I have to go.”

You’re getting desperate now. “Kenzo, wait. We should talk about this – ”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore, okay?” he snaps, glaring at you. “I’ve had a rough day and I need to relax.”

“Kenzo, please,” you beg him.

He considers it for a moment. Then, in the background, you can hear knocking, bringing him back from his thoughts. “I have to go.”

Defeated, you nod, not pushing it any further. Without a proper goodbye, he clicks on his keyboard and rushes off to answer whoever’s at his front door, thinking he properly left the call. However, he’s still logged on, and you can see everything. And soon, you’ll hear everything.

You don’t get the chance to end the call yourself. It all happens so quickly. The thud of the door closing, the unfamiliar voice of a woman, their footsteps and conversation growing louder as they enter the bedroom. You’re tuned in on the laptop, watching them with wide eyes, frozen. Like watching a trainwreck happening in front of you. Actually, it’s more like you’re the one getting trampled. 

His back faces the camera, arms wrapped around another girl, his lips smacking noisily from their careless kisses. You sit there, mouth agape at what you’re currently witnessing, holding your breath.

“I can’t wait to fuck this pussy,” he groans, unbuckling his pants. You resist the urge to dry heave at how disgusting he sounds.  

“Yeah?” she giggles. “It’s only been two days and you miss it already?”

“Fuck yeah,” he responds, sucking on her neck, groping her chest. 

Before they can strip any more of their clothes off, you yell out his name, startling the both of them. “Kenzo! What the fuck?!” You don’t realize until now that tears are streaming down your cheeks, your throat dry and tight, struggling to get the words out. 

He whips around towards the laptop, horror surrounding his face as he realizes, gawking at you through the screen, stammering his words. “What are you doing?!”

“What are you doing, asshole?!” 

“Ken, who is that?” she asks, genuinely confused, stepping closer to you to get a better look. 

“I’m his girlfriend,” you answer, trembling with anger. “Actually, I am now his ex-girlfriend.”

“You have a girlfriend?!” she shrieks, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“Had a girlfriend,” you correct her. “He’s all yours if you want him.”

He puts his face right up to the screen, his appearance making your skin crawl. “This is a big misunderstanding.”

“I heard what you said. I fucking saw what you did! How long?”

“This is the first time – ”

“A month,” the other woman answers, staring down at the floor, guilty. “We’ve been hooking up for a month. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.”

Kenzo turns to her, then back to you, sputtering nonsense. Apologies, excuses, just complete and utter bullshit. His bizarre behavior from earlier starts to make sense now. He was projecting whatever guilt he was suffering onto you. But while your conscience remains clean, his is sullied. Defiled, dirty, and ruined by his own volitions. 

Having heard and seen enough, you hang up, slamming your laptop shut, sobbing into the palms of your hands. 

~~~

Half an hour later, you leave your apartment, dragging your feet towards next door. Your eyes are puffy, cheeks sticky from unwiped tears, overwhelmed with emotion. Anger, heartbreak, and betrayal all at once. Kenzo’s been trying to reach you since you hung up on him, but you’ve ignored him each time, tempted to block him and be done with it once and for all However, you can’t bring yourself to do it yet. Maybe there’s just a small part of you that wants to spite him; you just don’t know how.

When Ino answers, you immediately launch into him, burying your face in his shoulder, crying. It can’t be helped. You need a friend. He doesn’t need to process it; being sweet is second-nature to him. He wraps his arms around you, massaging your back gently, squeezing you snug in his embrace. “What happened?”

Between sobs, you manage to reply, “Kenzo cheated on me.”

He tenses up, outraged. “What?”

You nod, wiping your face on the cotton of his sweatshirt, making a note in your mind to apologize for this later. 

“I’m so sorry,” he says, hands still gentle along your spine. His touch is comforting, exactly what you need to dull the pain. He lets you indulge in his warmth for a moment, not speaking, listening to your ragged breathing steady. 

Once the tears stop and you’re composed enough, you remove yourself from him, wiping your wet cheeks with your sleeve. “I’m sorry,” you sniffle.

He laughs softly. “Why are you apologizing?”

“I feel bad for bothering you.”

“You’re not.” He holds his hand out. “Do you want to talk about it inside?”

You nod, taking his hand, following him into his apartment, where he leads you to the couch. He passes you a tissue box, though you’re sure you’ve run out of tears by now. You’re alone sulking for a few minutes while he brews you a hot mug of tea, setting it on the coffee table when he returns. “Thank you,” you say, smiling at him. His presence alone has been comforting enough, but you hold the porcelain cup in your hands, basking in its soothing heat. 

“Of course,” he grins, sitting next to you.

You rest your head on his shoulder. “You’re a great friend, Ino.”

He slides his fingers between yours, lacing them together. “You are too.”

This kind of intimacy feels natural with him, which is what surprises you. His hand fits so easily with yours, you begin to wonder why you haven’t held it before, why you haven’t been doing this from the start. Ino’s always treated you kindly, more than a neighbor should, better than your good-for-nothing ex-boyfriend ever did, and without asking for anything in return except your company. 

Your heart thumps loudly against your chest, you’re sure that even he can hear it. You turn your head to look at him, so close that your noses are nearly touching. Swallowing thickly, you try to say something, anything, but you can’t, unable to articulate what you’re feeling in this moment. 

He shrugs his beanie off, nuzzling his nose to yours. “Since we’re friends, let me take care of you. I’ll make you feel good. Make you forget about that asshole.”

It takes you a while to reply to him, but you do. “Okay, Ino,” you whisper, closing the small distance between you, staring at his mouth. “I trust you.” 

He kisses you, gentle and almost too sweet, you want to savor it. When his tongue grazes your lip, you moan into his mouth, letting your inhibitions loose. You’re no longer thinking about the events from earlier this night. Instead, all you focus on is Ino and how good he feels against you. He increases the pace, kisses growing sloppier, your hands running through his hair while his roam your back. He trails along your neck, then down to your stomach, lower and lower until his hands are on your knees, gradually spreading your legs apart. “Can I?”

He doesn’t have to spell it out. You know exactly what he’s offering. And who are you to deny his generosity? After all, what are friends for? 

“Please,” you beg him, brushing the hair away from his forehead, making sure he gets a good look at your pleading eyes. You need him to make you forget about everything. 

He makes quick work of your clothes, stripping your bottoms and underwear off in one fell swoop, positioning himself between your thighs. “Call me Takuma,” he tells you, smooching your plush skin. 

You let out a pathetic whimper as he flattens his tongue on your clit, stroking it slowly. He goes faster and messier the more his name pours out of your mouth in pleasured moans. It doesn’t take long for you to reach your first climax, grip tight in his hair, knees trembling from the stimulation. He doesn’t let up, though. Ino continues to eat you out until you’re pliant on the couch, yielding to every lick, suck, and stroke he delivers you. Your pussy throbs for him, wet and slick from your orgasms, ready to be filled with his cock.

Suddenly, your phone rings and you’re brought back to a grim reality, one where Kenzo still exists. His name flashes on the screen, requesting to video chat you for the umpteenth time tonight, trying to apologize for a sin that can’t be forgiven. You reach for the coffee table to silence your phone, wanting to ignore him. “Fuck, he’s calling me again. Sorry.”

“Answer it,” Ino says, still lapping at your puffy clit.

You laugh, looking down at him, certain that you heard him wrong. “What?”

He gazes up at you, lips all wet and swollen from devouring you. Drool leaks from the sides of his mouth, his chin shiny with spit and slick. His cheeks are rosy, eyes laden with lust. He smiles at you, endearing and sweet, with just the hint of wicked intent behind it. “Show him how good I treat you.”

Something stirs inside you. This is an opportunity to get your revenge. And sure, it’s petty and vindictive, but you’re a woman scorned by the man you loved, the man you thought loved you. Why shouldn’t you be?

Before you can chicken out, you point the camera towards Ino, who smirks, diving right back into your cunt, being extra loud this time. You answer the phone, Kenzo’s face maximizing on the screen, calling out your name, relieved you picked up. When he realizes what he’s watching, hearing you moan Ino’s name like you used to moan his, Kenzo’s expression contorts into one of rage, disgust. He starts cursing like a madman, shouting at Ino, at you. You drown it out with your own profanities. “Fuck, Takuma, right there! Right there! Oh fuck!”

Kenzo hangs up the call after he gets one more cruel remark in, but you don’t care. You’ve gotten your payback. Maybe it’s not enough, maybe it is. For now, all you want is to be with Ino, no more distractions. “Fuck me,” you whine, tugging on his brunette strands.

He crawls over you, kissing you passionately with wet lips. “Whatever you want, sweetheart. Whatever you want.”

It’s safe to say that you and Ino become much better friends after tonight. 

[xxblairexxss]

Jealousy (part 4)

Pairing : Charles Leclerc x reader

Theme : Angst / fluff

The end! Thank you for loving the short series. I think this might be my best one yet because I didn’t limit myself to include everything but it was longer than my usual ones. Apologies it long fics are not your thing!

Your week went by with no more phone calls. Charles didn’t ask for another chance to speak to you and you were so glad he didn’t because you weren’t sure if you were gonna find it appealing or irritating. Deep down, you knew there was still an enraged flame in your heart that you couldn’t ignore regardless of your feelings for him.

You stopped replying to his texts too but you still read it from the notifications bar. He would tell you about what he did on the day, would ask you if you had eaten, how was your day but none of his questions were answered. He went to Maranello right away and stayed there until the next race so you were glad you didn’t have to meet him.

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Charles was demented with worry. He knew he was hoping too much when you unblocked his number but he never thought you would stop replying to his texts. He didn’t know what you were up to and that made him agitated.

Y/F/N has added to their story

You hadn’t unblock him on his Instagram but he would still be able to see your friend’s. He saw pictures of you on your friend’s Instagram story, all smiles and grinning ear to ear. He missed you a lot. He would stare at his phone every night before he went to sleep, anticipating your name popping up in his notification or phone call but none of it actually came. He was disappointed, of course, but he knew he deserved this.

But he still hadn’t lose you, had he?

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You had declined Charles’s offer to join him on his private flight to Mexico because you still had things to do at work on Friday so you had to miss practice rounds. You even forced Y/F/N to come with you so you wouldn’t be left alone with Charles because you didn’t know how to act and what to say around him. As if he wasn’t your boyfriend for 2 years.

“Please come with me! Please please please!”

Y/F/N rolled her eyes and shook her head, turning her back on you to which earned her a pillow threw at her head. “No, thank you. Hey!” She then sat up and threw it back at you and chortled at the face you made.

“I need you there! I can’t be with him alone!”

“He was your boyfriend for 2 years. Why are you acting as if you haven’t done anything nasty with him.” You stopped peeking inside your closet and glared at her.

“That was so unrelated.”

“You get what I mean! If you don’t want to be left alone then just ignore him! Plus, he’s gonna be so busy he won’t have time to chase after you.” Y/F/N shook her head at the navy top you showed her and you placed it back into the rows of clothes.

“I know but he even asked me to go to the after party. You know what happened the last time I went to a social event.” You picked another top and earned a yes from Y/F/N so you folded it into your small luggage.

“There’s a party?” You heard her sounded intrigued. You should have known this better. She would never say no to parties. The conversations could have been a plain sailing one if only you mentioned this topic first.

“Yeah. There’ll be hot guys everywhere. It’s a shame you couldn’t come.” You packed another pair of pants and saw in the corner of your eyes Y/F/N scrammed away, leaving the room.

“Wait for me!”

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You arrived at the hotel early in the morning and Charles had arranged everything. Y/F/N was passed out as soon as you guys checked in while you immediately gotten ready to go to the paddock before the qualifying round started.

Once you arrived, there were still a lot of people waiting at the entrance meanwhile the paddock was already packed with a few interviews being done at every spots. You only took a few steps when you heard your phone rang.

“Hi.”

You looked up from your phone and saw your boyfriend, or ex boyfriend, whichever you preferred walking towards you and you hated yourself for feeling this way. You felt like a kid who bumped into their crush at a school hallway. That silly, giddy with excitement as if it was your first time meeting him. Your heart was throbbing so loud that if he told you he could hear your heartbeat, you would have believed him right away. The butterflies in your stomach went wild and it made your knees weak. You smiled back at him and he took your hand in his, clasping it as he turned and walked back to the entrance. The sound of the fans around the paddock area screaming his name turned into a mumble as you kept your eyes on his back.

You were so glad you didn’t get to see and talk to him that much throughout the rest of the qualifying round. You didn’t even stay until the end though he offered you a ride back to the hotel.

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“How was it?”

“It was okay?”

Y/F/N mocked your face and you squinted your eyes at her. “What?”

“Tell me more! Did he say anything? Did he hug you? Tried to kiss you maybe?”

“No! He just held my hand. It’s not like he had any free time to even talk about us.” You took off your earrings and tied your hair in a bun.

“Such an asshole, isn’t he? When is he gonna apologise? Is he even gonna say sorry? Does he know how to say sorry?” You heard her blabbered with a mouth full of chips.

“We are not talking about this anymore. I’m gonna take a bath.”

As you started shampooing your roots, you heard the doorbell ring and thought it was just another room service that your best friend might had ordered.

“Hi, can I talk to Y/N?”

“She’s busy. We’re busy.” Y/F/N looked at the guy up and down and was going to close the door on him when he propelled it back.

“Wait! Please, I just want to give her something.”

Y/F/N stretched her arm forward and Charles blinked in confusion. “Give it to me. I’ll pass it to her.”

“Can I see her instead?”

“No. Either you pass it to me to you can go back to your room.” She replied sternly to which made him obediently handed the paper bags to her and walked away.

“Look,” Charles stopped in his trail when he heard her broke the silence.

“I’m not mad at you. Wait, I am mad at you. I’m pissed off, actually. But as much as I want her to leave your ass, she still loves you and I think that’s more than enough confirmation you need. I’ll give you a space to talk to her tomorrow so do whatever you need to do.” Charles was going to say something but the door slammed on his face faster than he could even blink.

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“Who was that? Did you order room service?” You walked out the bathroom in robes with wet hair, gasping when you saw boxes of pizza and doughnuts on the coffee table. “This is a lot! When did you buy them? Oh, this is my favourite!”

“I didn’t. The delivery guy came all the way to our room to deliver these.” You saw the displeased face on her and frowned in confusion.

“He also left you that. I don’t know what you told him but you could open a Dior pop-up shop with those stuffs.”

You looked to the side and saw a Dior paper bag full of different shades of the new lip gloss. It was the one you briefly mentioned in your last phone call with him. There was also a small note written on it. “I might forgot or had missed you said your favourite shade during our last call so I got them all. And I don’t think you have eaten anything after the qualifying round today so enjoy the food.”

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The race ended with Charles getting P3, letting him to get the podium spot again after missing it a few races. Y/F/N has asked you to head back early because she needed hours to make sure she looked hot to flirt all the guys at the afterparty. It always made you wonder how both of you ended up being best friends even with all those contrasts in your personalities.

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You arrived with Y/F/N a few minutes late so it was already crowded with people. As much as it made you feel nervous, Y/F/N was thrilled.

“You look beautiful, angel.”

“Oh?” You turned around and was greeted with Charles, hands in his pocket, a few steps away from you. You opened your mouth to reply to the compliment, but Y/F/N cut you off.

“Right? Too beautiful to be treated like a shit.”

You nudged her on her waist and glowered. “Okay, this is not the time!”

“I’m off! Charles, she’s yours.” Y/F/N fixed your hair before leaving both of you, too fast that you couldn’t even catch her arm to force her to stay with you.

“Thank you..” You awkwardly smiled, your hands were clasp together, trying not to look at his green eyes that much.

“Thank you?”

“For yesterday. You really didn’t have to, but , thank you.”

“Oh, it’s nothing compared to what you actually deserved. Anyway, do you want to—“ Charles turned around and saw one of his friends calling out to him. You looked at the source of the voice and saw his group of friends standing at the end of the room.

“You should go with them.”

“No, come with me.” He was going to seize your hand when you stepped back in defence.

“It’s fine, I’ll be somewhere else.”

“Y/F/N will kill me if she finds you alone. I know you hate me and you don’t want to be left alone with me but stay with me this time. Please?”

You felt his hand gently taking yours in his as he looked into your eyes, as if he was asking for consent and you gave in. Sure, you despised him a lot but the moment he held your hand, feeling his thumb stroking your knuckles, it reminded you that he had always been your solace in life. It took everything in you to not embrace him right there and then.

He introduced you to the rest of the groups and immediately engaged in a full conversations. His hand never left yours. You were just standing by his side, playing around with your heels when you were greeted with Y/F/N and a few people with her. She would always brought her group of friends with you at any party just to introduce you, her best friends with her new friends. Charles turned around when he felt you accidentally tugged on his hand.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You were so glad for Y/F/N and was simply amazed with her social skills. Though you had a hard time engaging in a conversation and preferred to just listened, she kept on pulling you into the conversation by constantly asking you series of questions.

“That’s the worse. Right, Y/N?”

“Isn’t Y/N so pretty? I did her hair.”

“Y/N is very good at mix and match her clothes. Right, Y/N? But she still needed my help.”

Throughout the conversations, Charles still kept your hand in his but then it got uncomfortable when your hand started sweating so you ended up holding his pinky finger, occasionally fiddled with his fingers since you didn’t have your ring on. You thought he would pull away but he didn’t. He didn’t even budge.

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“Do you wanna go back to the hotel?”

“Can we?”

“Of course, angel. Let’s go.”

Charles had took you back to the hotel but it was only when you had arrived in front of your room when you realised you didn’t have your access card with you. He had asked you to stay in his room first until Y/F/N called.

It had been a while since the last time you were with him in a small space. As soon as you walked in, you were greeted with his smell, the mixture of scent between the different collection of his perfumes, the smell of his shower gels it was all too overwhelming it made your eyes teared up instantly.

“Sit down, silly. Why are you standing?”

You let out a sob, looking down and he stoop down to look at your face, sounding all worried and anxious. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Y/N?”

You continued to sob uncontrollably and he enfolded you in his arms, one hand around the back of your head and another one wrapped on your waist. “It’s okay, angel. I got you.”

“I hate you.”

His arms around your figure tighten when your body shook and he planted a kiss on the side of your head. “It’s okay, I hate myself too.”

“But I miss you so much, I miss your touch, your kiss, your voice, everything about you. I tried so hard to ignore you because maybe it would be easier for me to end everything, to end us but it was so hard.” The silent tears kept on running down your cheeks that you were so sure his shirt was already soaked.

Charles’s blood ran cold when you mentioned about ending things. Both of you had always been so optimistic with the relationship. You would always talked about how you would grow old together and he would have to assure you that he would always find you beautiful or you would have sulk.

He pulled away and crouched down to hold your cheeks in his hands and level his eyes with yours. “No, please, no. Please don’t leave me. Please, angel. I know I fucked up but give me another chance to be better. To fix this. I know it makes me selfish but I can’t see you with anyone else. Please.”

You didn’t reply but kept on wiping your eyes with the back of your hand, harshly, because of how frustrating everything was.

“I’ll kneel down if you want. I’ll do whatever you want me to do. I can’t lose you. I really, really can’t.” His eyes were red from holding his tears and it smashed your heart. He looked so broken with compunction it made you cry even more.

“I’m sorry for what I did. I should have listened to you. I just got so mad when I saw you with other guys when I should have known better. I was too blinded with jealousy.” He took a shaky breath and wrapped you back in his arms so you wouldn’t see him cry.

“And when I saw what happened to you that night, I was just so furious at myself for being so stupid and allowing that to happen to you so I just blew up at you when all you needed was just my commiseration and assurance.” He left a few lingering kisses to the crown of your head and mumbled against your hair. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, angel.”

“Do you miss me?”

You felt his chest quivered as he tittered to your silly question. Had you got a glimpse of his life during the absence of you, you would have seen how miserable he actually was. “I don’t think the words I miss you is enough to express how much I long for you.”

You were no longer hugging his middle but your body was flushed against him as you stroke his cheek, feeling it damp from the tears that he tried to hide from you.

His arms left your waist briefly as he unhooked the necklace around his neck, pulling the end of it so the ring would slip out into his palm. “Do you… accept my apology?”

“I’ll think about it.” You giggled when he looked taken aback. “You are forgiven, Charles.”

“Can I put this back on you?” He looked nervous, as if he was going through every words he was about to say, too scared if you would slip off his fingers again.

“Are you proposing to me?”

“Not yet but I will. Mark my words.” He slid the ring back into your ring finger and lifted your hand to peck on it. Your arms circled around his neck as he locked you in his embrace. Your face was just an inch away from him that your nose would collide into his every time you moved your head a little. “I love you, Y/N.”

“And I love you more, Charles.” He dipped his head down and pressed his lips to yours, his arms cinching you to him as you kissed him back, your hands feeling the silken strands of his hair against your fingers.

﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎

“Hello?” Charles squinted his eyes and put the phone to his ear, slightly whispering to not wake up the sleeping beauty in his arms.

“Charles? Do you happened to know where Y/N is? I just realised she’s not in the room.”

He laid his head back on the pillow and yawned. “Go to sleep, Y/F/N.”

“Where’s Y/N, you dick!”

“My girlfriend’s here with me. All safe and sound. You don’t have to worry.” His hand ran up and down against your back,when he felt you stirred on his chest.

“Oh, okay. I thought she was kidnapped or something. Break her heart again and I’ll make sure you won’t get any podium in your entire career. I mean it.”

You tilted your head a little to look at him, your eyes barely open. “Who was it?”

“It was just your guardian angel making sure I don’t fuck things up again. Let’s go back to sleep, baby.”

✧.* tags! @i83andrew @cltrlne @karmabyfernando @ohthemisssery @buendiabebeta @needtokeepfeelingsincheck @ironmaiden1313 @teenagedreams-cl @sheslikeacurse @love4lando @charli123456789 @ru-kru @httpspedri26 @honey6578 @sealsu @shyartisanvoidwagon @changetyre @aundercover

Let me know if you would like to be removed or to be added in the tag list!

[foolforharrry]

Cactus Mug - Harry Styles Oneshot

Summary: After being away from each other for so long while Harry is on tour, y/n finally decides to go surprise Harry.

2.5k words

Any support is very appreciated. And if you have any requests feel free to send an ask, comment or a direct message

Also let me know if you guys want a part 2

Here's my masterlist if you want to check out more of my stuff

Harry has been on tour for months now. Waking up to a cold bed alone every day is something he’s made known he absolutely despises. As much as he loves performing in front of his fans every night, touring can get lonely. And some days are harder than others.

Today has been one of those days.

The first thing I did when I opened my eyes was to check my phone for a text message from Harry. 

And like almost every single morning, there it was. The notification bubble with his contact name in.

H: Missing you extra tonight. I can’t wait to finally kiss you and have you in my arms again. This house doesn’t really feel like a home without you. So I might have tried out that new recipe you sent me the other day. The mushroom risotto. Not sure where I went wrong, but it didn’t taste very good. So you’ll have to show me how to make it when you get here. Only one more week, yeah? Goodnight, my love.

Reading it, all I could think about was the disappointed frown he must’ve had on his face when he realised that he had messed up the food. Knowing him, he would have eaten as much of it as he could stomach.

It was then I decided to call my boss and ask her if there was any chance that I could work from home. I wasn’t 100% sure if she would grant it, but she must’ve heard the desperation in my voice and decided to show me mercy. 

Before Harry, I’d never seen myself as someone who would be able to be in a long-distance relationship. In the past when situations where a relationship would’ve become long distance, I was always the one to end it, not being able to stand being away from the person for that long.

But with Harry it was different. With him, it’s worth it.

That doesn’t mean I’m not counting down the days until we can be together again from the minute he leaves.

Which is why I didn’t think the flight through enough and ended up having to sprint through the airport to make it to my gate in order to not miss my flight, knowing I definitely forgot to pack something I’m going to need but it’s too late to worry about that now.

The second I’m squeezed between a teenage girl and a middle-aged man on the plane at 12:05 pm, I fish my phone out of my pocket again with hands shaky from excitement and nerves. Both over seeing Harry again and the sneaky element of flying to him without him knowing I am.

Me: Morning, Angel. I’ve got a really busy day at work today, so I’m sorry if I don’t get back to you before late. And of course, I’ll teach you how to make it (what would you do without me?). I love you higher than the sky xx

I’m hoping he won’t ask me any questions about what I’m going to be so busy with since I’m a horrible liar, especially under stress. 

My prayers are answered when his reply comes almost immediately. The text message attached to a photo of his sleep-puffed face with his eyes closed, pink lips puckered and his hair wild and curly from sleep.

H: Sending all my love and kisses to you baby. Good luck with your day. If you’re not too tired when you get home, we could facetime? I miss your voice so much.

Me: It’ll be nice to see your face again. I miss it.

H: If you miss it too much you can always just look at your lock screen, you know.

Me: Yes. This solves all of my problems! Bye now, my love.

I have to bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself from smiling like a psychopath as I type out one last text message and attach a photo I know will hurt his ego a bit before I set my phone to flight mode.

There hasn’t gone a week since the photo was taken where I haven’t reminded him of its existence. If I can’t share it with anyone else, I’m gonna share it with him.

It was taken almost a year ago in the hotel room we were staying in. Harry had demanded that I take a photo of him with his new cactus mug. The mug was adorable and literally looked like a cactus. He had been posing by the sofa when he forgot that tea is hot. The sip of tea he’d just taken had been sent flying everywhere as well as all the tea that was still inside the mug. 

I thank the lucky stars every day for live photos.

While he had been panicking about burning his tongue, he had ended up dropping the mug to the floor. Something he says he’s still upset over.

So last week, when I saw a mug almost identical to the one he broke, I had to buy it for him. It’s safely tucked in my bag. My favourite hoodie of Harry’s is wrapped around it to keep it from breaking. Hopefully.

“You need to put your seatbelt on, miss.”

The polite voice snaps me out of my thought, turning my head to look at the flight attendant. It takes me a second to comprehend, what she says, but when I do I thank her quickly, offering her a small smile before fastening my seatbelt.

When I’m secured, I plug my wired AirPods in, and try my best to get comfortable for the six-hour flight ahead of me

-

I’ve never really been a fan of flying. 

The idea of being crammed in a metal box with a bunch of strangers high up in the clouds for a longer period of time just never appealed to me. Especially not with the occasional screaming baby.

But this might have been one of the least uncomfortable flights I’ve ever taken.

Sleeping for most of it might have a lot to do with it, but oh well.

I’m not gonna lie and say that it wasn’t a relief to finally exit the plane and stand in a building that doesn’t lift off the ground either.

However, that relief doesn’t even get close to the feeling when I finally lay eyes on my final destination.

When the driver finally stops the car, I’m quick to pay before I’m hauling myself and my bag out of the cab while thanking him over my shoulder. He drives off immediately, leaving me alone in front of the house I’m starting to think is empty.

The lights are all turned off and Harry’s car isn’t parked in its usual spot. He only ever parks it in the garage when he’s leaving LA.

A bit defeated, I take my keychain out of the outer pocket of my bag as I step up the few stairs leading to the front door. Finally, after fiddling with it for way too long, I find the right key.

Like I thought, the house is empty. There is no music playing anywhere. The TV is off and there is no sign of life as I drop my bag by the staircase. 

Still, just the faint smell of him feels like a warm, much-needed hug.

Not wanting to spoil the surprise, but also wanting to know what he’s up to, I get my phone out of my back pocket and dial Harry’s number on my way up the stairs to the second floor.

He picks up before I’ve reached the top.

“Hi, love.”, Harry’s voice has a smile forming on my face within seconds.

I stop in my tracks, willing my heart to slow down again half convinced he’s able to hear it through the phone from how hard it’s beating. Even after all this time, just hearing his voice makes my stomach fill with butterflies. “Hi, baby. I only have a second. But i wanted to hear your voice. what are you up to?”

That’s a good lie, right? 

“I’m on my way to the shop right now. I was craving grapes. Are you ok, though? You sound a little out of breath.” 

“I just ran up the stairs.” Not a complete lie. “But anyways. I have to go again.”

“Already?”, he asks, his voice sounding sad. 

“I’m sorry, my love.” I genuinely am. “But hey. We’ll see each other so soon, yeah? Can’t wait to see you.”

He hums, “One more week.”

After saying goodbye, I hang up, doing some quick calculations in my head that I do have time to shower the icky feeling of flying off me before he gets back home from the store if I’m fast.

Not wasting any time, I speed walk to our bedroom, making a beeline for Harry’s side of the closet so I can grab one of his hoodies. I settle on a pastel yellow one with a big kawaii drawing of a pug on the front before shuffling to grab a pair of grey sweatpants and some underwear from my own side of the closet.

Since I’m not entirely sure exactly how much time I have before Harry is going to be back home, I decide against music. I can’t let myself get carried away and take too long.

But before I strip out of my clothes and hop in the shower, I run downstairs, pull the cactus mug out of my bag and set it on top of the kitchen island next to the plain black one with a used tea bag that was already left there.

Just in case.

As much as I love our home in New York, it just hasn’t felt the same while he’s been away. The only mess in the apartment was made by me and me alone.

And I’m not gonna lie and say that I haven’t missed the way Harry always leaves a mess behind throughout the week. Whether that be a towel on the floor or a heap of clothes left slung over a chair. Or the way he would vow to get better at tidying up after himself every Sunday only to never follow through on it.

So seeing all the different products and stuff scattered all over the dark grey bathroom countertops brings me a sense of peace I didn’t know that I needed.

I make quick work of my shower, even turning the water off while washing my hair and body to force myself to be more efficient. But even with that, I wasn’t fast enough.

While in the process of pulling the soft hoodie over my head, my breath gets caught in my throat when I hear footsteps just outside the bathroom door.

They’re very quiet. Almost as if the person is trying to keep themselves from anyone hearing them. I wouldn’t even have caught them if it weren’t for the fact that I didn’t close the door all the way.

“Fuck.”, I curse, scrambling to loop my arms through the sleeves just as the door swings open fully to reveal a sight that has me torn between whether to laugh or cry from pure happiness.

Harry is holding a frying pan up in defence, clutching it with both hands as if his life depends on it. And I can’t decide whether he looks terrified or surprised.

I clear my throat, not even caring about the whole plan I had been ruined. “You just gonna stand there, Rapunzel?”

One second later and he’s dropped the frying pan, the sound of it clattering to the ground echoes around the bathroom. But I don’t get to even look at it for more than just a moment before I’m engulfed in one of the tightest hugs I’ve ever gotten.

Harry’s arms go around my waist, burying his face in my neck when I hug him back. I have to stand on my tippy toes to loop my arms around his neck, feeling my eyes start to well up with tears. It’s only now that I’m back in his arms, feeling his chest move with every breath he takes and the puffs of air fanning out over the soft skin of my neck with each exhale.

He’s so freaking warm too. Not just physically. But just the feel of being close enough to smell his cologne and the faint remnants of his body wash makes a warmth spread through my whole body. It’s like taking a sip of hot tea when you’re freezing cold. The heat slowly expanded from my heart to my fingertips.

It feels like home.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”, Harry mumbles, forcing a choked chuckle from me as I hug him tighter. “I can always go back to New York if you don’t want me here.”, I joke without meaning it one bit. You’d have to knock me out and drag me along the floor for me to leave.

Pulling back enough to look me in the eye, Harry takes my face in his hands, “If you even think about leaving me alone again, I’m going to follow you. And then when I’ve caught you. I’m gonna throw tomatoes at you.”

The more he speaks, the more he squishes my cheeks, making my words partly slurred which only makes it that much harder to keep a straight face. “What if I want you to throw tomatoes at me?”

He tilts his head to the side with a chuckle, dimples indenting his cheeks. His green eyes look like they’re sparkling from the way the light reflects in them and blush has painted his cheeks pink.

“You’re fucking impossible, you know.”, he breathes out with a laugh.

I run my fingers through his hair, getting distracted momentarily by how soft his curls are. “You still love me, right?”

Instead of answering me with words, Harry ducks down, pressing his lips against mine in a way that has me losing my breath as my eyelids fall shut.

The way he kisses me turns me into putty in his arms. Both from how gently his hands hold my face to how soft his lips are as he mumbles ‘I love you' against my lips between kisses until I’m giggling too much to kiss him back and he just starts peppering kisses all over my face.

I tug lightly on his hair to get pull his face back a bit when I hear a sniffle, frowning when I see his eyes watery with unshed tears. the tip of his nose is a bit red and his lips turned into a pout.

It’s when I ask him what’s wrong, a single tear starts rolling down his cheek quickly followed by another.

Harry blinks rapidly, looking up at the ceiling as he sniffles again but doesn’t tell me why he’s crying.

Wiping his tears away with my thumbs, I kiss his moist cheek tenderly, toying with the curls at the nape of his neck. “Tell me what’s wrong, Angel.”

“I just missed you.”, Harry sniffles. “They’re happy tears though.”

“I missed you too.”, I admit. Whispering it to him as if I haven’t told him that I miss him every day we’ve been apart.

“Now really. How are you here, baby?”, Harry asks seriously, sliding his hands from my face down my neck. “I thought you couldn’t get away from work for another week.”

“Well.”, I start, already feeling my cheeks heat up, “Asking your boss very nicely with a drop of desperation seems to work wonders.”

Harry smirks, “Desperation huh?” Even his chest puffs in pride.

“I had to give you your belated birthday present.”, I explain to him, feeling giddy as I remember the genius purchase I made.

“My birthday is in February, love.”

I roll my eyes at him, grabbing his hand before dragging him with me. Careful to step over the pan he dropped.

“Where are we going?”, Harry asks. He still laces our fingers together, giving my hand a squeeze. It might as well have been my heart he had his hand wrapped around with the jump it made at the gesture.

“To get you your present.”

-

[atinystaypixie]

Hi! I was wondering if you could do a long distance relationship scenario with Hongjoong x black fem reader where either he surprises her from coming back home on tour. Can you make it fluffy smut please? Like they’re super in love & lust with each other 😉 If you do this, thank you in advance! -🧜🏽‍♀️

Welcome Home, Baby

📜: 2.3k+

⚠️: 18+ MDNI!!, sex, unprotected sex, it's mostly just regular sex nothing crazy

Idek if you are still looking forward to this. It’s been a month lol. If you see this, I hope you enjoy it!

You sat in your car outside of your house. A heavy sigh escaping your lips from the tiring shift you just worked. The day dragged on making it seem unnecessarily long. Your phone lights up from a random notification, your lock screen displaying a picture of your loving boyfriend. The boyfriend you have been counting down the days till you can see again because he was on tour. His face only made your heart ache along with the aches in your body. You were aware of how difficult it would be while he was gone, but it still doesn’t ease the pain of missing him.

With another sigh, you unbuckle your seatbelt and open your car door. Shuffling of your feet fill the air of the garage as you slowly drag into your house. You kick your shoes off once inside and make your way through the house. You pause noticing the air seems different. A familiar cologne is lingering in the air, a scent you haven’t smelled in weeks. It invades your nostrils making you shake your head trying to rationalize that you miss your boyfriend so much you are starting to lose it. You continue your path to the bedroom, pulling your well done hair back into a low ponytail.

Your eyes meet your phone again checking the time. It’s late and usually around the time Hongjoong would have contacted you by now. He never misses an opportunity to talk to you when he is on tour so he must still be busy. The shows can run over sometimes and the after parts of the shows can cause them to stay longer than intended. Your boyfriend is such a hard worker and does so much for the group. Always ensuring that everything goes smoothly and always staying late to help the staff leave quicker. He is always attentive to his group and even more towards you.

A pout forms on your lips from thinking about your boyfriend as you enter your bedroom. The pout is joined with raised eyebrows as you see the pretty red roses littering your floor and making a heart in the middle of your bed spread. The familiar cologne is stronger in your nose as a voice graces your ears.

“Is that a pout on my baby’s face?” The man who had been swirling in your head, consuming all of your heart, and not supposed to be back until the end of the week was standing in your shared bedroom shining his beautiful smile at you. His hair is neatly placed, shirt unbuttoned, and pants hanging loosely around his waist. His presence brings tears to your eyes. The longing in your chest turns to elation causing you to cross the room in hurried steps. He greets you with open arms, a smile tugging at his lips when still as he finally is able to hold you again. A relieved breath fell from him as your body clutched onto his. Tears rolling down your brown cheeks as his arms wrap around your frame. He holds you for a minute before he cups your cheeks and looks deeply into your eyes.

“I’m here, baby. I missed you so much.” His voice is soft and filled with love.

“When did you get here? You weren’t supposed to be back until the end of the week.” You sniffle and take in his features. The curve of his eyebrows, the brown of his eyes, the point of his nose. Every feature was being adorned by your tear lined eyes. His grip on you firm as he looks back at you with love in his eyes.

“A few hours ago. I wanted to surprise you. I missed you so much, baby.” His hands slide down and land on your hips. “You seem down. Let’s make that better.” He takes the bottom of your shirt and begins removing it from your body. His hands lightly graze your skin in the process, igniting goosebumps across your flesh. He takes his time removing the rest of your clothes, eyes tracing every inch of your body as he undresses you. His lips land on your tear stained cheek as he guides you to the bathroom.

A gasp leaves your lips at as you take in the candlelit bathroom. The warm scent lingering in the air as a full tub of water waits for you. “I know you’ve been working hard. Let me help you relax.” Hongjoong never failed to take care of you. He is always attentive and makes sure you are relieved of your stress. Taking care of you is his stress relief and he never lets you lift a finger. Your fingers were held in his palm as he helped you step into the tub. Your white polished toes pierce the water first before you sink down in it. The candlelight casting a golden glow on you.

“Joong, babes you just got back from tour. Aren’t you going to relax too?” Your eyes are clearing as you look at him wanting him next to you. You haven’t had his warmth in weeks and are in desperate need to be close to him.

Hongjoong let's a breathy chuckle escape him. “I’m going to, baby. Just want to make sure you’re comfortable first.” He watches you adjust in the tub before removing his own clothes. Your eyes scan him slowly and intently as his skin is exposed to your sight after so long. The dim lighting and sensual mood causes you to clench your thighs as he strips in front of you. The movement of the water doesn’t go unnoticed by Hongjoong, a smirk crossing his face again. He steps in the tub, slotting himself behind you. A content sigh comes from both of you as he wraps his arms around you. “I missed you, baby.” He speaks and leaves a soft kiss at the back of your neck, a deep breath being taken in as his eyes close, taking in the feeling of being close to you.

You both sit in the tub basking in each other's presence. The distance between you two finally closed, mending your longing hearts. Soft kisses are exchanged as you two soak in the tub catching up with each other. Words are more like whispers, almost if you two are afraid that if you speak too loudly it will make the moment disappear. He was just away on your, but it felt like a lifetime. You both are the full of each other's hearts and the time apart was hard.

The water is starting to get cold when Hongjoong speaks and says you two should be getting out now. He drains the tub and blows out the candles in the bathroom after drying and wrapping your body in a towel and telling you to go sit on the bed. It doesn't take him long to join your rose surrounded body with several of your favorite products. Oils, lotions, and perfumes are in his hands as he enters with his towel wrapped around his waist. Your eyes follow him as he sets them on the side table and comes to stand in front of you.

“I missed you. Just let me take care of you.” He removes the towel from your body and positions you to his liking. Your tummy flat on the bed as he stradles your hips and kneads at your skin. A slicken glide of his finger meet your skin as he works the last of the tension from your body. Hongjoong always loved touching you, his hands never missing a chance to make contact with the softness of your body.

His hands work on your body, certain spots making you whimper underneath him. The sounds going straight to his dick as he continues to rub on you. He leans down placing a lingering kiss to the of your spin. His litters kisses across the width of your back until he reaches your ear and nibbles at it. You feel his arm wrapping around your middle pressing his hand to your stomach.

“You seem desperate, love. Is there something you need?” He teases you noticing how you unknowingly had been rocking your hips underneath him. You were touch starved and so much attention after the time seperated had you sensitive. You feel his fingers creeping lower to the place you needed him most. Your hips lifting off the bed as you and grab his wrist.

“Please, Joongie. I just want you. Can’t wait.” You speak brokeningly. You’re desperate for your man and don’t feel like doing the extra. It’s been long enough, you just want him in you.

“Baby—”

You’re quick to cut him off before he starts telling you about how you need prep. “Hongjoong. Please, I just want you in me.”

That’s all it takes for him to discard his towel and flip you over. He needed to properly see your face as he made love to you for the first time in a long time. His dick was an angry red, just as desperate as your leaking cunt. Your fingers wrap around his dick guiding it to your entrance. His red tip seperating your brown folds to be greeted with your wettness. A sharp hiss escaping him from the small but intense contact. He pushes your hand away and rubs his dick up and down your folds collecting your slick.

“Watch as I enter you, baby.” Your eyes lock where his are. You both holding your breaths as he pushes pass your leaking muscle. It’s pulsing, and sucking him in as he slowly slides into you. A moan bubbling in the back of your throat and a grunt building in his as he pushes the head of his dick in. He’s trying to control himself, knowing he hasn’t properly opened you up. He doesn’t want to hurt you, but damn your pussy is welcoming him home so well and he isn’t even fully in yet.

After a few moments, Hongjoong is fully in you. Both of you breathing in ragedy puffs of air. His forehead is pressed to yours as you both lay entangled in each other, letting your bodies get accoustomed to the familiarity of being connected again. Your hand is caressing his cheek as he his are holding onto your waist. Soft kisses of the lips and sweet nothings are being passed between you.

The throb of his dick and clench of your pussy bring you two back to the fact that you need each other. Hongjoong doesn’t make you wait. His hips slowly drag back, before thrusting into you again. His dick rubbing your insides only the way that he can, only the way that makes your juices leak more than they already are. He’s holding eye contact with you as he makes love to you. A claim on your mind, heart, and body being said through his burning stare.

“Let me hear you.” His thumb traces your bottom lip removing it from the cluches of your teeth biting into it. Your jaw slackening letting your sounds of pleasure reach his ears. He missed this. He missed you, missed touching you, missed loving you, missed hearing you.

“Nngghhh…mmm…Joong.” Your eyes are watering again, but this time from the building pleasure you feel. “I missed you. I missed you so much.” You’re moaning through your words, each drag of his dick bringing you closer and closer to your release.

“I know, baby. I’m here, my love.” His hips pick up pace and he leans in to lock lips with yours. The kiss expressing every ounce of love you two shared. It has you locking your legs around his waist and him interlocking your fingerings dragging your hands above your head. Your hips push up into his meeting his thrusts as your lips smack against each other. His tongue finds way into your mouth and swirls with yours. The kiss is broken at times from you being unable to do anything else other than moan.

“Let me ride you. Wanna help you relax too.” You plea to him. He hasn’t let you do anything for him since he suprised you and you want to let him relax too. His hips stutter at the thought and he’s flipping over so that you are on top.

Honjoong’s eyes squeeze shut as your ass slaps against him. The low lightening casting a glow on your brown skin, your walls working his sensitve dick, the feeling of being back with you after so long. It had him on edge, the edge you wanted him on, the edge where he could only focus on the feeling of you.

“Hhuuhh, huuhh…Y/n…Y/n.” His eyes creaking open to see you riding his dick. The sensual movements of your hips had him ready to explode. As your hands landed on his chest, your hips were circling with each bounce. Hongjoong loved taking care you, but he was weaker to you taking care of him.

“I’m so close.” You whine feeling the coil in your stomach tightening. His fingers are digging into your sides as you both move with each other chasing your awaited highs. Skin slapping and broken moans are the only thing heard. His feet are planted on the bed meeting your hips uncontrollably. Neither of you have a rhythm, just pure need and longing being released with each movement.

You feel it coming and so does he. “In me. Cum in me!” Those are your last words before you are cumming around his dick. Your chest is now pressed to his and he is holding you tightly as he fucks up into you. It doesn’t take long before he is releasing his seed inside of you. Both of you are panting in each others holds. There is nothing but you two existing at the moment. You only feel him in your arms and he only feels you.

After a moment you life your head and look him in the eyes with a tired smile spreading across your face.

“Welcome home, baby.”

✨

Thoughts of a Slutty Virgin ~ 🧚🏽‍♀️

Whewww! My first kpop smut🥳 Hope you enjoyed! More coming soon!

Pixie's Masterlist

Taglist: Taglist: @444ghosty @un-lawliet @witchbybirth @tophamhat-kyo @nobianna

Taglist form: out of order rn. I'll open it again in November 🫶🏽

[streamingcolors-gvf]

Looking Glass

Pairing: Josh Kiszka x f!reader

SMUT!!! YOU’VE BEEN WARNED

Summary: Your boyfriend has always been sweet and loving, but something about the stage brought something out in him. A FaceTime call before a show took an unexpected turn, and it might have changed the dynamic of your relationship. 

Word count: 4.6k

*Author's note: I haven’t done a smutty one shot in a hot minute. Y’all this is pretty spicy…I think?? Bear with me, but this thought has been in my head for a while and I had to get it out there. This is a mess and I probably need to be locked up 😅 As per usual, I love all the feedback ❤️ 

 Thanks, @allieboop for all the love and support! You keep me inspired ❤️❤️❤️

Everything written here is intended to be read as complete fiction with the utmost respect for the real people these characters may be based on. I do not know the guys personally and don’t intend for this to reflect on them as real people in any way.

Warnings: cursing, NSFW 18+ MINORS DNI!!!  (mutual masturbation, mirror play/kink, kinda roleplaying, slight m!dom, praise kink, voyeurism/exhibition kink, slight spit kink?,  dirty talk)  Overall - Cocky Josh 

You had spent the last hour getting ready for bed. It was still early for a Saturday night, but the day had exhausted you, and you were even more mentally drained from the last few days. Your friends were aware of your melancholic state based on how the response time for your texts began to grow and had begged you to go out with them. They wanted to distract you from the fact that you were without your boyfriend, Josh. 

You showered, washing the sweat and grime from your busy day off your skin and letting the hot water soothe your aching muscles. You wanted nothing more than to cuddle up in bed, get tucked up in the blankets, and dive into the next book on your reading list.

 The past few months had been rather difficult on your relationship with the band going back on tour. They were so busy traveling that the time spent together was few and far between. You were sure to visit them whenever you could only be restricted by your modest budget. 

    You were ecstatic to see Josh during the stretches between tour dates when he was able to rest, but it was hard not to notice the exhaustion set in his features. Pangs of guilt struck through your heart seeing him like this. The two of you spent that precious time catching up on things that got missed over the phone, going on dates you had planned together for weeks, and laying around in bed whenever possible. 

Tonight, they were in Omaha. It was their first big night back in the States and the boys were buzzing with excitement. You were always more than supportive and tried your best not to cry when you had to say your goodbyes to everyone days beforehand. You wanted him to stay with you so badly, to take him back into the comfort of your apartment for the rest of the day, that you practically had to force yourself to let go of him in the airport. 

    Josh had sent you small texts throughout the afternoon the day of the show, keeping you updated with their schedule and letting you know he would call you later that evening. You lay in your bed watching time tick by as minutes turned into hours while waiting patiently by your phone. 

    After flipping through notifications through all your social media apps and checking your screen every few minutes, you tossed it aside accepting that you probably weren’t going to hear from him until after the show. 

You snuggled back into a comfortable position and began reading through your book, hopeful that it would take your mind elsewhere. Suddenly, you felt your phone buzz within the sea of blankets draped across your bed. In a frenzy, you scrambled for it-whipping the covers around which sent your phone flying onto the bedroom floor. 

    You lunged over to grab it off the carpet before the call ended. Flipping the phone over to view the screen you saw that it was Josh, but this time it was a Facetime call. You checked the time - 8:32 

    Don’t they go on at 9?

You quickly tapped your thumb on the answer button, opening up the screen to a very close-up view of your boyfriend’s face.

    “Hey baby!” he beamed with excitement, flashing one of his massive grins, causing his right dimple to make its appearance. 

    “Hey!” You chimed back. You couldn’t hide your feelings from him even if you tried, even if the time at the top of your screen threatened to ruin it. “Don’t you go on any minute?”

    He giggled, “Yeah, but I promised I’d call, remember?”

    “I remember, but I thought I wasn’t going to hear from you until after?”

    “And not show you the new suit?” Josh scoffed, rolling his eyes at the thought while he walked with the phone in hand. He appeared to be alone, and possibly in his dressing room. You could tell that he had already had his hair and makeup done, given that the little rhinestones he wore during each show were carefully glued along his cheekbones. 

    It was no secret that you knew about the new jumpsuits that would be introduced during this tour. Josh had mentioned them more and more as the summer went on, unable to contain his excitement. He had snuck a few photos of them hanging up in dressing rooms in the last few months, waiting for their debut. Although this would be the first time you had seen the newest one, complete, and actually on his body.

    He fumbled for a second before flipping the view of the phone’s camera, now rear-facing to show you his entire body in the reflection of the full-length mirror in front of him. The sight knocked the air from your lungs as you looked over every detail. He was truly breathtaking.

    “What do ya think?” He asked while doing a series of goofy poses for you, but that wasn’t enough to distract you from his beauty.

    It was a golden crushed velvet suit, tailored perfectly to his lean frame, and snug to his body in all the right places. Gold stitching framed the zippers that ran down the front and across his midsection. Golden embroidered flowers and scrolling adorned the suit in intricate patterns. 

The attention to detail was remarkable. Thinking about it, there just wasn’t anything in your closet that even came close in comparison. Sometimes that fact made you a bit envious at times, but it could never outweigh how much you adored seeing him wear things like this.

He sparkled as little fragments of light bounced from the rhinestones all over his suit as well as the ones placed delicately across his cheeks. 

    “Josh…it’s beautiful,” you gasped, taking in the sight before you. 

    “I know. It’s probably one of my favorites so far.” He turned slightly, modeling the costume, giving you another view of his backside, which always managed to make you blush. 

The color of the suit brought out the flawless tan of his skin, which had been kissed perfectly by the sun throughout the summer months of this tour. In his usual fashion, Josh had the suit unzipped to the middle of his chest, resting right in the center of his sternum, which gave you a peak of the gold medallions dangling around his neck. The delicate jewelry rested deliciously between his defined collarbones. 

“You really look amazing,” you muttered, suddenly feeling shy about your obvious gawking.

    He perked up at the compliment, “Yeah?”

    “You’re so pretty,” you blurted out, and you could have sworn you witnessed his cheeks flushed a rosy-pink hue. Knowing it would drive him crazy, you added, “They are going to lose their minds over this.”

He grinned at the comment, taking another step closer to the mirror.

    In a lower voice, and ditching the playful tone he had with you when he first called, “I hope so.” You watched as he ran an open hand down his chest and over his toned stomach, feeling the soft material underneath his palm. 

    That’s when you noticed it. Throughout the years, you teased him frequently on how he did not leave much to the imagination ‘down there to their audience. Now, with it bulging against the fabric of his jumpsuit, there was no denying how he felt at this moment. 

“Are you turned on right now?” You teased, giggling at the thought of him possibly trying to hide it from fans. 

“Oh, come on. You know how I get before a big show.” His hand traveled down even lower, and he began to palm himself shamelessly over the suit. 

The simple action made you blush as a wave of heat flushed through your body, “Josh! You can’t go out on stage with a hard-on!”

“It wouldn’t be the first time.” He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and hummed, “They would eat it up.” You heard his breathing start to change through the phone’s speaker.

Throughout your relationship, you had seen Josh touch himself briefly while you were intimate together, but this was a first. It was uncharted territory for you, and it felt different seeing him so blatant about it. This was whatever he decided to show you, and it was completely on his terms without you being able to touch him.    Your eyes flicked up at the clock at the top of your screen. He was supposed to go on within minutes and you were sure that there would be people looking for him soon.

When he caught you drifting in thought, he pulled you back into his world, “I’ve missed you so much.”

The tender moment warmed your heart and left a little sting of pain knowing you wouldn’t see him for at least a week or two. “I miss you, too.”

“I’ve been going crazy. These girls-“ he groaned as he squeezed harder around himself, not letting you stew in your sad feelings. “They have been all over me lately. The way they touch me…” He trailed off and looked into the phone screen to gauge your reaction. 

Now you had dipped into this territory before. In the beginning, you had expected to get jealous of women throwing themselves at him, but you found that he was the most loyal, loving boyfriend you could have ever asked for. He never failed to make you feel secure and comfortable in your relationship. 

It was you that initiated this type of thing with Josh. It even surprised you how excited you actually became knowing how much they wanted him. You didn’t need anyone telling you what you had, but it sure felt great showing him off.

He was a rockstar and you didn’t want him to miss out on that aspect of his career, that lifestyle. He thrived from the attention and you made it your mission to make sure he got it whenever possible.  

“It hurts knowing you can’t do anything about it, huh?” you taunted, and you saw the glint in his eyes when he realized you were going along.

“It kills me,” He whined, and looked up at you in the mirror. “You should see these fans, y/n.”

You thought of the shows you had been to. You remembered all the beautiful outfits people wore, the makeup they spent hours doing that was inspired by him. There was no denial of the pure energy in the pit, as was tangible and unmatched by anything you had experienced before. You always burst with excitement knowing that fans spent hours waiting, hoping, and wanting to be as close as humanly possible to him.

“The way they look at me. Fuck. I’m getting so hard thinking about it.” He rolled his head around his shoulders in a slow circle, with eyes closed, shuddering as a heavy sigh escaped his chest. His hand was gripped tightly around the erection, desperate for needed stimulation-your touch. 

“Sounds like a lot of complaining for someone drowning in all that attention,” you teased him again, trying not to unravel in the game already.

His eyes flickered open, “Who said I was complaining? You know that I wish it was you.” Even though you were playing along, he was still your boyfriend and his words made your heart flutter wildly in your chest.

He was now throbbing painfully under the restriction of the suit, but it was obvious he was still the one teasing you. 

Catching how you were staring, “You wanna see, don’t you?” The question made heat rush directly to your face and you were only able to nod in response. 

His voice dropped even lower, sultry and dripping with pure desire, “Does it make you wet? Knowing you get to see what they all would pay to see? What they fantasize about?”

“Josh…please.”

He pulled his hand from its position on his thigh to slowly drag the zipper of his suit down, letting the front panels fall open to expose his chest, past his navel, and stopping right above what you wanted to see the most. The trail of hair around his stomach, poking right over the seam of the suit made your mouth water.

You swallowed, nervous about the possibility of being caught, “We don’t have much time.”

There was a flash of your boyfriend when he noticed your apprehension. “Be patient, mama. Don’t worry. I told them I was meditating.”

Without wasting another second, Josh slipped his hand underneath the velvet, dipping out of your view to wrap around himself. He let out a breathy sigh the moment he finally made contact, as if he had been teasing himself on and off for hours. 

You watched how the knuckles of his hand protruded out from the fabric as he stroked the length of his cock. 

“Tell me how bad you want it.” 

“I want you.”

 He shook his head, unsatisfied with your answer, “No. Tell me you want my cock. I want to hear the words come out of your pretty mouth.” 

You felt flustered from his request. Your cheeks were flushed again, hot and red but you wanted to please him. 

You bit your lip, feeling somewhat bashful from the vulgar words, “I want your cock. “

“That’s it. You’re doing so good,” he hummed in satisfaction, and the sweet praise made your heart skip a beat. You lived to hear them. “How bad, baby? Would you get on your knees for me?”

You pictured it as soon as the words slipped past his lips. You imagined how we would look from below, dressed in the exact outfit he was wearing right now. Wetness began to pool in your panties at the mere thought of it. 

“Yes. I want it so bad,” you whined, sounding borderline pathetic.

“Yes what?” He wasn’t going to let you skip out that easy. The need ignited something in you, as if his confidence transferred across the phone screen. 

“I’d get on my knees for you, Josh.” 

Josh was thinking about it. He twitched in his hand, picturing you kneeling in front of him. Watching you unzip the suit, feeling you run your hand down the soft fabric covering his stomach before you wrapped your hand around his hip. 

He almost lost it when he imagined your lips, kissing and teasing him -just like you had done so many times before. He moaned remembering how warm mouth felt around him, the way your tongue flicked across his skin.

He thought about how many women would do anything to be in your place. 

“You would look so pretty.” He jerked forward slightly, “On your knees with your beautiful lips wrapped around my cock.”

This was completely different behavior from Josh than what you were used to.  The stage was bringing something out in him tonight and you consider yourself lucky that you were witnessing it before your very eyes.

“You’ve been so good, baby. I think you deserve to see what you do to me.” 

Another praise.

 Josh shrugged off one side of the suit, allowing it to fall to his right side to free himself. A sheen of sweat had collected on the surface of his skin, making his chest and neck glisten under the dressing room lighting.

Dipping under the flashy garment once again, he pulled himself out in full view, leaving nothing to hide. He took another step closer towards the mirror, grabbing himself by the base to display it all for you. 

“See what you fucking do to me,” He started stroking himself slowly, collecting the precum that was starting to drip from the head of his cock with gentle swipes of his thumb.

Nothing could have prepared you for how he looked and deep down you knew the image through the phone didn’t do it justice. He was looking at himself, not you on the screen of his phone. His heavy half-lidded eyes focused on what his hand was doing, drawing out each flick of his wrist He knew how beautiful he looked and you wanted to hate him for it.

You would have never guessed how much you were going to enjoy watching him touch himself. It felt naughty, even borderline voyeuristic if it wasn’t for his blatant exhibitionism. At some point, your hand had slipped under your underwear, mimicking the movements of his hand with your fingers.

He laughed, but this time there was a feral quality to the sound, “I could fucking spit into the crowd and they’d thank me for it.”

It shouldn’t have surprised you the way it did. He wasn’t wrong and you would have been more than glad to join them. “You’re such a whore.”

A devilish grin spread across his face, “I really am, aren’t I?”

That’s when he redirected his attention back to you. The way he was staring at you in the mirror made your face hot, and you felt your heartbeat thumping in your ears.

“You think about me at night? Do you touch yourself pretending it’s me?”

“You know I do.”

He smirked from your answer. The two of you had spent countless nights on tour sexting and telling each other what you were thinking when you were alone. “How ‘bout you show me, baby.” 

Just like that, without a second thought, you flipped the view of the camera away from your face, to the lower half of your body. 

“What do you think about?”

You hesitated for a second, somewhat embarrassed about your answer, maybe thinking it wasn’t sexy enough for this moment, “Your hands.”

He hummed softly to himself. This wasn’t new information by any means. He already knew how much you enjoyed that feature of his body, he just loved hearing you talk about it every chance he could. “Yeah? What about them?”

“How they feel on my body.” 

“Where?” 

It was becoming difficult for you to concentrate on yourself with how he never paused his own movements on himself during his questioning. You wanted to please him, “Inside me.” Your voice was whiny, pitchy as it escaped your throat. 

Josh shifted the view of the camera down so you were looking at his body directly, instead of seeing it in the mirror. From his point of view. He had never sent you anything like this before, and the new angle took your breath away.

He was showing you, up close, how he wrapped his fingers tightly around his cock. He must have heard the sudden change in your breathing through the phone because he started to switch the technique so you could see the veins in his hand.

You’d be lying if you didn’t take note of how he pleasured himself, using the knowledge for when you touched him again-when it was your turn to make him whimper and beg. 

You loved seeing the toned muscles of his stomach flex, as if they were struggling to keep him from meeting the tipping point too soon. God, you missed him.

Without warning, behind the view of the camera, he let a pool spit drip from his mouth, hitting the top of his shaft. He quickly glided his palm across the added wetness, using it as lube.

The camera shook as he groaned at the new sensation, “Oh fuck…I wish this was you.”

He lifted the phone, shifting your view back to the mirror, pulling you out of your trance. You were being spoiled and he knew it. He hissed, “Keep going.”

You were so entranced by watching him that you had stilled the movements of your own hand. 

“I think about…how they feel inside me.” You were being honest. You had spend many nights alone thinking about how those hands felt roaming your body. The memories of lazy mornings of being in bed with Josh, and with him exploring, making you feel good wrapped in his arms played over and over in your mind. 

“I know you do, mama,” he cooed.

You began to touch yourself once more, thinking about how he makes you feel. He noticed this and was watching your face through the screen.

“Show me.”

You flipped your camera’s view around to show your lower half. You then remembered that you were still dressed in a pair of worn cotton panties. Even though they were a pair that Josh had definitely seen you in before, you felt embarrassed you weren’t wearing anything sexier. You hooked your thumb around the band to pull them off your legs.

He interrupted, “No, wait. Keep them on.” 

You obliged, and slipped your fingers under the band of your underwear again. You knew Josh enjoyed being teased and how much he loved to work for it just as much as he enjoyed your begging. 

You allowed your eyes to close, listening to his sounds as he pleasured himself - the deep sighs, grunts and soft hums that he made with each stroke of his hand. You imagined his fingers on you instead of your own. That’s how it would always start before slowly letting your imagination shift to thoughts of how his mouth felt around you. You let them wander to how he sounded when his face was buried between your legs. 

You were lost, deep in a trance as you dipped your fingers inside your pussy, craving his touch. You let yourself go and allowed a cry leave your lips. 

Hearing you moan made him pump his cock faster, eliciting an even louder growl to rip from his chest. His eyes rolled behind his lust-heavy lids as he threw his head backwards. The sound made you open your eyes to see him giving you a full view of his neck in the mirror’s reflection -one of your favorite features of his. He swallowed harshly, making his Adam's apple bob low in his throat. Sweat had started to drip in down in trails towards his chest, making him shine in the mirror’s lights. 

You desperately wanted to be there with him to tug on the necklaces that were hanging around this throat, to feel them dance across your bare chest when he was on top of you. 

Josh’s breathing began to falter with slight shudders of his body, letting you know that he was getting close. The defined muscles in his torso began to flex with each stroke of his hand. His chest was rising and falling rapidly in the erratic movements. 

“Tell me more,” the demand was barely a whisper, afraid that if he spoke any louder he wouldn't be able to regain control. 

“I think about how they feel inside me. The way you make me cum. No one makes me feel the way you do, Josh.” You knew that the praise with his name would push him that much closer to the edge. 

You caught the wild look in his eye, and it was undeniable how his stage ego dripped from every part of his body at this point. You wanted the image burned into your memory forever. He was performing for you, only you, and he relished in how much it affected you. 

“How do you feel knowing this all is just for you? Watching me like this.” The cockiness in his voice made you quiver with need.

His mouth hung slightly open as he continued to pump his hand along his cock, thrusting forward each time his palm passed over the head. 

    The familiar feeling of your own orgasm was building up inside you. 

    “Do you wish they could see you like this?” His eyes flicked up in the mirror, pupils darkened with desire as they looked at you. What you witnessed was primal. 

    That glimpse let you know you were going to pay for that when he saw you again, and you were more than happy to welcome the punishment. 

“I, I-I’m getting close,” he let out a breathy whine while pausing the work of his hand. 

His brows furrowed, tightly knit in a grimace while he hissed between clenched teeth. Strands of hair had stuck to his forehead and cheeks. A string of curses fell from his pouty lips. Him being this close brought you to your own peak, threatening to push into the crashing waves. You became just as frantic to ride this together.

His hip began to buck forward as he chased the high, and he was struggling to hold the camera still but you couldn’t care less. His eyes closed while the wave of euphoria washed over his body. You were right there with him, succumbing to your climax as you listened to Josh falling apart.

“Let go for me. For them.” 

With a final groan, his head fell forward as he released himself, painting the mirror with his cum. It startled you at first, and your mouth hung open in disbelief while he took the following minute to regain his composure. 

You sat in silence while you started to process the last few minutes together.

There was a knock on the door, making both of you jump. 

“You’re on in five!” A voice called from outside of his dressing room door. You froze, praying that the person wasn’t going to try to enter- catching you both.

Josh shouted back with a quick response, “Okay!” 

Lowering his voice, “I really need to clean this up before I get us kicked out.” He laughed, which was still weak while he tried to regulate his breathing again.

 He quickly tucked himself back into his jumpsuit. He set the phone down on the side table-leaving the screen completely black for about thirty seconds. You heard the sounds of him shuffling around the room, and assumed he was looking for something to clean the mirror with. 

He picked the phone back up, instantly throwing you back into the view of the room. He stepped in front of the mirror for the last time, “How do I look?” 

As if you just experienced whiplash, he was back to his goofier self, the same version you saw in the beginning of the call, which successfully made you giggle to yourself.  

    “Josh… you can’t go on stage like that,” you chuckled, signaling to his groin with your eyes. He was still just hard as before, and it was very noticeable. He flipped the camera back to his face. You smiled seeing his cheeks had the sex-flushed look that you always adored. 

“Oh that’s not going away any time soon,” he laughed, flashing you his award winning smile once more, and added a playful wink. “Not until I get my hands on you.”

You sighed at the thought, curling into the duvet on your bed, “I can’t wait.”

He blew you a kiss, “Bye, sweetheart. I love you. And you will be hearing from me again tonight. So don’t fall asleep!” 

“Love you, too. Don’t drive those fans too crazy.” 

Another throaty laugh burst from his chest, “Would you expect anything less from me?” 

“Not in a million years.”

TAGLIST:

@allieboop @josiee-gvf @weightofdreamz @sammyslappers @sammiejane22 @doodle417 @prophetofthedune @maverick-rose-rose @weightofdreams-gvf-gvf @loofypoofy @gretasmokerising @keighoe @brokenbellz @gvfrry @gretavanfleas @baguettejuliette @jakeyboiiiiiii @kdarling1 @welightthefire @dannyandthekiszkas @kerryxoliver @shesawomaninadream @Neptune2324 @ashabeannn @ksmiz711 @gretavanbitches @alexxavicry @luverleaver @kissthekiszka @milkgemini @freckled-wonder @ksmiz711 @josh-iamyour-mama @gabs-gvf

I accidentally posted the taglist from BOS, so I sincerely apologize!

[peonyslumber]

Pitseleh

S5|pre-villa| Suresh/MC | 1,130 words

Author’s note: Title idea from the song ‘Pitseleh’ by the artist Elliott Smith. This is my first fanfic written about a character from love island the game. So with that, I hope I did an exceptional job. Enjoy!

Sure, Suresh was busy with work, he’s always busy, but ever since that night he’s been closed off. Sometimes I look into his eyes and feel like he’s hiding something.

My head snapped to the direction that his phone was at. It buzzed on the nightstand, calling my name. He was too busy snoozing to have heard the notification. So I got up and reached to check to see if it’s his mum. His family and I got on well. I loved them. They loved me. One of these days we’d be a big happy family. I’ll officially be a part of them. But I haven’t found the right time to do it. It had to be right, everything had to be perfect. It had to be memorable. A day he and I would look back on and tell our future kids about. A love story one could do nothing but smile while hearing.

We were like that. Suresh was the one for me. And I was going to make sure that he knew that soon.

I did the pin and saw that it was actually from one of his mates.

I ignored it, and opened his phone. I smiled as his wallpaper was a picture of us. I checked his photos to see if I could send that picture to me. He was always better at taking pictures than I was. He was my professional photographer. But as I scrolled to find it, I came across something far more heart crushing.

The phone slipped out of my hands.

I guess the loud noise of his phone hitting the ground was enough to steer him awake. Tears began to well in my eyes, my lower lip began to quiver as I fell to the ground.

“Bua, is everything alright? Wha-“ his eyes darted to his phone on the ground, “It isn’t what it looks like. I-“ I interrupted him, stopping him from speaking.

I stood him, shoving the phone that had a picture of him in bed with another chick, “What is it then, Suresh?”

His face went pale.

The way I said his name stung. “It’s exactly what it looks like. So we have a fight, and you go running to somebody else?! After everything we’ve been through.” I felt the tears run down my face, to my neck and ears.

“Calm down, beautiful. I’m sorry. It wasn’t supposed to happen.”

I wiped the tears away, “But it did, Suresh, and you can’t take it back. You can’t take what you did to us back! I have stayed by your side through thick and thin, and you threw it all away for a little fun. This isn’t funny. This isn’t a game. My heart isn’t meant to be played! This is why, why you will never have my heart ever again!”

He stayed silent. Not moving an inch. He didn't dare to interrupt.

“Look at what you did! Did it ever occur to you about how it would affect me? That one day the truth would come out. And that day, you’d lose me?” I shook my head, turning around, looking out the window.

“It was an honest mistake. You know I’d take it back if I could. She didn’t mean anything. It has always been you.”

I could see his reflection from the window. His nose sniffled, trying to hold back the tears that begged to escape.

Suresh was never the type to be able to speak how he felt, and when he did, it spoke volumes with his actions. He kept everything bottled up inside. I was always able to find what was wrong, how he felt, through the quirks that he did to hide how he was feeling. Today was no different, and he knew that. I knew everything I said, he could feel in his core. Behind his fierce exterior was a man on the verge of breaking down, but he'd tell not one soul that.

My nose flared, “It wasn’t me when you laid next to her. It wasn’t me you were snogging. It wasn’t me who you were flirting with at whatever place you two crossed. You can’t take it back. The damage has been done. I can’t even look at you anymore. I cannot stomach the thought of what you two did.”

I bit my lip, “I want you to leave. Suresh, I want you out. Today. Right now. Don’t come back. Don’t even come knocking at my door, or show up where I work with a bouquet of flowers and chocolate apologizing trying to win me back. Please don't. This isn’t like the other times. I can’t forget about it. I won’t forget about it. Pack your bags.” I opened his drawers and started throwing his clothes on the floor. Getting his suitcase from the closet and the clothes he had hung in our closet. Or should I say mine now.

I knew I was being reckless. But what can you do in this instance, but act anything but rational?

He stepped forward, “Bua, where am I going to stay? I want us to work this out. I want us to stay together. Just please listen to me.”

I turned around facing him, “So I can hear a bunch of lies? I know you enough, Suresh. Not only that, but I won’t have it. I don’t care where you stay. You’re no longer worth my worries anymore. Heck! Call that girl up. See if she’ll care enough to let you stay there. We’re done.” I pushed his clothes against his chest.

“If all your clothes can't fit in there because I know they won't. You can use a trash bag, you ought to be well established with them by now.” I shot him a glare. Folding my arms. I walked over to my keys.

“Lock up when you’re done taking your crap. I won’t be here, and I expect you to leave my life once I come back. I don’t want to see an ounce of anything of yours.” I closed the door, still holding the doorknob.

Furthermore, I opened it quickly, “Don’t forget to tell your family I love them. And tell them that their son messed everything up too.” I closed it shut. Sliding my body against the door. I placed my head between my knees.

It was hard to ask him to leave. It was hard to believe that he’d cheat. I didn’t need an excuse from him. And to think that I would’ve proposed to him. A hiccup came along with the silent sobs.

I sighed as I got up and gained the courage to walk away from the home we once shared. I can’t help but think about how lonely it’ll feel without his presence there.

[sasarahsunshine]

have you moved past cm? i went to your twitter and you post hannibal a lot but you arent on the cm server like at all anymore. if you have mvoed on then maybe give the server to someone else that is active

Hello Anon! I have a couple things to say to this, 1) I’m currently tipsy cos my friends and I were hanging out and I’m finally allowed alcohol after being sober for the last 3 years. So if I seen all over the place or don’t make sense, that why.

2) I’m still VERY active in the CM fandom, but I realize that it might not look like that outwardly since my activity has been taking place in smaller spaces/private DMs with people.

3) My Twitter rn is currently only for Hannibal, but I have been considering making a second one that’s Criminal Minds only. I just don’t know if I’ll be able to jump back and forth between them all the time without mixing them up, lol!

4) I’m not 100% sure what you mean about me not being active in the server? If you mean today (Sunday, May 22nd—even tho it’s the 23rd now whoops), then I wasn’t on Discord at all cos I was busy with real life things. Summer is on the way, quarantine is “over,” and I’m not locked in my home 24/7 anymore. I’m officially finished with my chemo; the benign tumor that was in my brain has shrunk, so I can finally get a job again (I haven’t worked a “real job” since January 2021), and I can hang out with my friends and family again. (I still wear masks when appropriate, and I’m fully vaccinated, but we’re “allowed” to be normal again, you know?).

But I can promise I’ve been in the server every single day, even if only once or twice to check in and make sure everything’s fine. I have a life outside of Discord and Tumblr, too.

Plus I’ve had a new puppy since the beginning of April, and he takes up the majority of my time while I’m training and caring for him. We’re actually about to get him properly trained to be a therapy dog, since my own therapist (and everyone else who meets him) says he would be perfect for it with his calm and friendly personality!

And, also, Twitter is fun. I’ve made new friends, found a fun new community among the Hannibal fandom, and I greatly enjoy how I can check my Twitter feed for only a couple min between my errands and still feel like I’m apart of the “conversations” there. Meanwhile here on tumblr, I need to set aside a whole hour or so for what I do (and I only use tumblr on desktop, for reasons I’ve explained before, unless I’m just checking my notifs).

I’m sorry that you feel I’ve left the fandom, or I’m inactive, but I also think I’m allowed to “take a break” from fandom things if I need to. While the CM fandom was getting a lot of hate anons, harassers, stalkers, and was dealing with A LOT of drama, the Hannibal fandom welcomed me with open arms and the friends I’ve made helped me feel safe while I was still sick and healing.

I have a whole timetable setup with plans for fun Criminal Minds based things I want to do this summer (including celebrations for milestones, watch parties, etc), but I just need to *get* to that point.

Hyperfixations come and go over time. I can’t really control if my fixation for Criminal Minds ends up fading, but I can promise that for now, it’s still going strong! I’m just ALSO having fun with the Hannibal fandom (think of it as my new shiny toy, I guess, lol! Criminal Minds is my favorite and always will be, but it’s exciting to be apart of something new).

Hope I was able to explain. Have a good day/night! <3

[lauvra]

Bare with me, not sure for how long and honestly feel free not to but I’ve been feeling a little non-existent lately. I haven’t been able to pass as rested in a long time with my tired eyes and strung-thin mind. I feel deep connection while essentially responding to messages with a like or thumbs up emoji, unable to muster the strength or focus enough to communicate accurately. I guess I am communicating accurately; that I’m tired. I’m going to share too much because there are mundane issues I’ve got to corner myself over and confront. I have to let go of the aspect of respect I have for writers and creators on this site who make me wish I were more than just this; all too human. Here’s a snippet from a journal entry over a month ago: For many months I was running on reserves, then fumes, now only residue. I’m running slow. The move came on suddenly. My friend called; felt impulsive and asked if I wanted to check a specific house out for it’s location and warehouse space. A couple days later we inspected, the next night we applied and by morning we were approved and had signed the contract. I called him every day moaning how many sleeps? Eleven. How many sleeps? Ten. Nine. Etc. Now it’s upon us and I’m looking around my apartment in exhaustion, there’s so much left to do. Time is a strange companion, you can only love it in detachment. There are too many things I’m avoiding mentally. I knew it would take time before all the financial kinks were worked out here, but I just got a > $400 electricity bill from my old place, I’m pretty sure I still owe around $600 from my last rent, I have 95 call and voicemail notifications from debt collectors, I have less than two weeks before I am supposed to go back to work - and I’ve made no plan to transfer stores, because I dread it from deep within my gut. I dread going back to that business; the horrors, the horrors. I’ve asked a friend who owns a bar for the huge favour of allowing me to volunteer for a few nights and have the team teach me some basics so that I can switch industries. Gotta earn your living. My father didn’t pass down an ounce of his frugality which was inherited from his mother. When you visit nan, you can’t assume that anything is safe to throw away. She lives on acreage with snakes and birds. I once tossed a bottlecap, only for her to swat me away ‘the birds love to chew on them!’ Last night I set up my painting supplies and moved some colour around on a couple canvases, despite having had all month to do so. I drank wine every day for the first 17 days of living here, I didn’t explore as much as I’d intended. When my dad visited Melbourne once he asked ‘don’t you ever just catch a train to the end of the line?’ just to find out where it goes, I said no. I’m a fearful child disguised as adult prone to long periods of solitude at home. Someone asked me what my beautiful secret was, I couldn’t answer. I don’t know that I have one. I live in my mind so that I don’t have to live in my body. I hope reincarnation isn’t real but I know that it is and that’s another source of dread. I hope they turn me into something useful like a bottle-cap. 

[barnes-n-nobles]

Attention (SMUT)

Request: Smut. Bucky gets jealous of her for getting too close to his friend Steve. So he punishes her 🍆🤤

Sorry for the delay! Here it is and I hope you enjoy! Let me know what y��all think!

You and Bucky had been invited to Tony Starks birthday party tonight. In most cases you would have an outfit ready, but Bucky wanted to dress you today. You thought it was the cutest idea ever and you let him choose for you. He came out of your closet with a beautiful black dress , that had a slit on the side. He got you this as a gift during the first month that you guys started dating. You were saving it for a special occasion so you were a little shocked that he would bring it out for today’s birthday party. Your eyebrows slightly bunched together in confusion as Bucky laid it on your bed.

“Why that dress for today babe? It’s just Tony’s birthday, not the met gala” you chucked. Buckys metal hand traced the side of the dress and smiled at the thought of seeing your body in this sexy dress. “I just want to show off my beautiful girl. Plus, my tux is all black as well. You know how I love matching with you” he smiled as he went to place a soft kiss on your lips.

You nodded in agreement , taking the dress off the bed and walking into the bathroom to change. “I just hope this dress doesn’t get ruined like my last one…” you sighed smiling at the memory that started to form in your mind. “What do you mean, Doll?” Bucky asked curiously.

“One day, Steve and Thor got so drunk at Natashas party that they started having “cake wars” and I made the huge mistake of trying to take the cake away from them and Steve threw a handful of cake at me, while he was trying to get Thor. I was so mad because the dress I got for that day was super nice but I had to get rid of it…it was way too stained” you stated as you slid yourself into your dress.

Bucky rolled his eyes at the sound of Steves name leaving your lips. Him and Steve had some unspoken tension between them that always puzzled you. Little did you know, Steve wanted you for himself but Bucky moved way too fast and was able to cuff you up before Steve even thought about it. Bucky and him were inseparable but once they both realized they were after the same girl, they both got distant. Bucky loved his friend but he always got everything. The fame, love, praise, recognition. He wasn’t going to let him get you though, because you belonged to him. Only him.

“He better not start his shit or I’m going to fuck him up” he spat. “Bucky, you’re not an angel when you get drunk either you get pretty angry AND / OR get into fights with everyone. “ Bucky knew that he had to tame his demons when he was around you just because he didn’t want to scare you off, but it’s been getting harder and harder to control it as men had gotten a bit too brave around you. Bucky wasn’t the type of shy off when something made him mad.

~~~~Later that night~~~~

You and Bucky walked into Tonys home and it never failed to amaze you how beautiful his house was. You hope to one day share a home with Bucky. One where you could one day raise a family of pets and eventually even kids. He noticed you were busy thinking about something so he nudged you to bring you back from your daydreams. “What’s wrong Doll? You seem distracted.” asking with a little scrunch of his eyebrows. “Oh it’s nothing just thinking about this huge-“ You we’re cut off by a familiar voice. “Y/n, Bucky, so glad you guys could make it. You’re only like 1 Hr late but who’s keeping track.” You all chuckled and said happy birthday to Tony. “Come join us, the food just got served”. As you walked into his lavish dining area you said hi to everyone and sat down on the 2 remaining seats. Steve was on your right and Bucky on your left. He soon started to talk to Sam who’s was next to him. “Hey y/n…I haven’t seen you in a while. How’s it going?” Steve asked you giving you a quick hug. You thought that Bucky would have turned around or at least notice but he was too busy joking with Sam.

“Hey Steve it has been a while. Just going through life, you know.” You smiled warmly.

“I feel you. It’s so good to see you. Your little boyfriend likes to keep you all to himself huh?” He asked softly so that only you could hear him. You just smiled and shook your head side to side, not wanting to answer. Steve was always a flirt you thought, but in reality he liked to push your buttons to see your pretty little face flush. After dinner you all moved to Tonys living room, everyone consumed in their own conversations. Bucky was next to you the whole night , making sure you were having a good time as well. “I’m going to go upstairs real quick, Tony is needing a hand with one of his “toys”. I’ll be right back Doll” he said placing a kiss on your cheek. You nodded and decided to pick up your phone to check up on any notifications you had.

Steve gulped down his drink from across the room as he saw Bucky leave your side finally. He started to approach you as soon as he was out of sight. “All alone?” He asked looking down at your small frame. Your eyes snapped up to see Steve standing in front of you. “ For now, Bucky is out doing something “ you said looking in the direction that he walked “May I sit?” He asked with a smirk. You nodded and scooted over. You and Steve started having a nice conversation and got all caught up with eachothers lives. He brought you some drinks to loosen you up and they seemed to be working perfectly as you started to feel a bit more chill and relaxed. Steve laid his arm over the top of the couch and scooted closer to you, making your face turn hot but the closeness. Steve leans over close to your ear and whispered “You look absolutely stunning. Tell Bucky to bring you around me a little more, hun. I’m sure he’s the sharing type.” You knew he was getting a little too comfortable due to the drinks he’s been having but you tried not to make a big deal. “Steve, please.” you warned wanting him to know there was line he was approaching and that he hould not cross. “Please what y/n…. I never see you and I know for a fact it’s because of Bucky. I’m also your friend and I want to be around you and in your life. Don’t you want that?” You turned your face around to get a bit of separation. But then he used his thumb and index finger to turn your face towards him. “Well?”. You didn’t know what to say so you stayed silent just looking down. Steve was irritated and he let go. Standing up looking down at you. “When you make your own decisions, you know where to find me” he said turning around but then suddenly he bumped into a strong chest. Your eyes shot up and you were frozen.

There he was, his chest falling up and down in absolute anger. Looking straight into Steve’s eyes. “Get out of my face Buck.” Steve said in a low tone. Bucky didn’t say a word, his nose flaring and his chest rose and fell slowly with anger. His metal arm rapidly grabbed his throat. “DONT ever touch her again. I’ll fucking kill you” and with that he threw him across the room by his neck, hitting some tables and chairs as he fell to the ground. Everyone snapped their attention over to you guys a few gasps and screams erupting. You quickly stood up and got in front of Bucky, placing your hand on his bicep as if it would calm him down. “Please Bucky, stop...” you said looking over at Steve who was surrounded by people as they tried to help him up. Tony and Sam went over to you guys to make sure that Bucky wouldn’t escalate this any further. “Bucky, you need to control yourself. This isn’t the time nor place. “ Sam said turning to look at Steve who was now up and getting held back and talked to by Thor and Vision. “Jesus Christ Barnes, you could have at least given me some time to pull out my phone to record that.” Tony said making Bucky snap out of his trance and you could see a small smile starting to form. Sam rolled his eyes and shook his head. “But yes..like Sam said. Not the time and definitely not the place. Pepper is going to kill me. “ as he looked at the broken table. “Sorry Tony, we’re just going to head out. I promise we’ll pay for that” you stated pulling Bucky away.

As you guys were heading to the entrance of the house, Bucky quickly pulled you into a near by room and locked the door behind him. You almost got whiplash at how fast he got you in there. “what the fuck were you doing with Steve, why did you let him get that close to you.” His big broad frame towered over you. “I didnt...well.. I dont know he was just sitting there and he got so close, i felt so trapped I didnt know what to do. “ you explained not knowing what to say to not make him more mad. “you know i dont fucking like him, why would you even entertain him? Do I need to brainwash you to never speak to anyone else but me... Hmm?’‘ he said pinning you to a nearby wall and pressing his body up against you. You didnt know if the drinks finally got to you or what, but you were feeling all tingly inside. Absolutely loving Buckys dominance. “or do you just want some attention. Because ill give you all the attention in the world Doll...but you'll only get it from me...no one else.” he whispered into your face.His lips brushing lightly over yours. You let out a little moan, his words going straight into your pussy. “I just need yours. You know that” you purred leaning in for a kiss. Bucky pulled away looking at your beautiful eyes, filling up with want and lust. “ Im going to show you that you only belong to me, and Ill make you crave only me and my attention. now turn over” he said giving you a quick kiss. 

You obediently turned and he started to slide your panties down. Buckys hands started to roam your body, his metal arm stopping at your clit. “I need you to be quiet for me Doll. Can you do that?” he said as his hard cock was grinding on your ass. “Yes, Sargent Barnes” you moaned as his fingers started to play with your clit. “Fuck...sucha good girl”. When he felt that you were wet enough he grabbed your hair and shoved you down onto a nearby dresser, earning a gasp from you. He pulled himself out and pulled up your dress, giving you a nice hard slap on your ass making you whine. “You had your fun with that imbecile “ he said as he aligned his throbbing cock at your entrance. “now its time for me to punish you like a whore for talking to him. “ and with that he rammed inside of you, letting out an animalistic growl at your tightness. Your moans ripped through your throat as he started to pump himself inside of you, with out much gentleness. His metal hand quickly went to your mouth, muffling your beautiful sounds. “Shh babygirl..cant let anybody else hear”. He thrusted into you hard and fast, making you see stars and your mewls restrained by his cold hand. Your wetness soon started to drip down your leg. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, feeling nothing but pure pleasure and bliss. Buckys arm went down to your neck and he pulled you up, making you arch your back. He leaned down looking at your fucked out face while he stuffed you full of his cock over and over again. He started to have a hot sloppy make out session with you, moaning into your mouth and you doing the same. Tongues interwoven into each other.

Bucky grunted your name, standing upright one more time. He grabbed your hips and started to fuck into you harder, his head snapping back as he was so close. “fuck im going to cum inside you Doll…Tell me who you belong to y/n..” he growled. “Y-you Bucky...only you Sergeant Barnes.” you moaned. Thats all it took for him to finally cum. His thrusts got sloppy as he spilled inside you. His cock twitching inside with each pause he took. He smiled as he pulled out, watching his cum spill down your leg. He pulled you up and gave you a passionate kiss. “dont worry Doll. We have much more to do at home. This was just a warm up, I’m going to give you orgasms after orgasms and you’re going to take it and enjoy it”

[moonhoures]

number 8 + beomgyu!

beomgyu + 8. “it’s three in the morning.” + fluff + slight angst + gender neutral reader insert

Sleep was something that you cherished. It was sacred to you. You were working full time and attempting to keep a social life while also setting time aside for hobbies. So the little time set aside for sleep was crucial for you. That being said, waking up in the dead of night to the sound of tapping against your window wasn’t ideal. At first you thought you might be hearing things, so you ignored it and tried to go back to sleep. Eventually, it stopped, then your phone buzzed softly with a notification. For a moment you decided to ignore it, but something told you to check it.

gyu 🐻: hello my love, could you open your window for me? 🙂

With an annoyed groan, you laid on your bed stiffly before peeling back your covers and swinging your legs over the side of your bed. Your feet gently patted across your bedroom floor before opened your curtains and unlatched your window. You slid it up and suddenly your annoyance from being woken up dissipated when your eyes landed on your boyfriend. He stood outside your window, his slippers sitting atop the grass and his hands buried in the uni pocket of his hoodie.

“Beomgyu,” you started, “It’s three in the morning.”

“I know,” he returned with the same tired tone, “-and I’m sorry for waking you. I just haven’t been able to sleep.”

“So you drove here at three a.m to see me?”

“Yes,” he said casually, as if that was something normal.

“Come inside,” you beckoned him closer with your hand, helping him step over your window sill carefully. You thought about your friend Sohyun whom you owned the house with, sleeping peacefully in her room upstairs. If she knew your boyfriend was climbing through your window at this time of night she would throw a fit. But at least he didn’t ring the doorbell like a clueless idiot, you supposed.

“Is something on your mind? Is that why you can’t sleep?” you asked, concerned. Beomgyu was usually the one to fall asleep while sitting on the couch five minutes into a movie or nod off during a phone call late at night. Like you, he was an extremely busy person, but he was a little less picky about when and where he slept. He could fall asleep almost anywhere. So you found it odd that he was having trouble sleeping. Surely something must be wrong?

He shrugged, kicking his slippers off and taking a seat at the end of your bed. You could immediately tell he was trying to avoid the subject, but you couldn’t let him off so easily. Your boyfriend had lots of positive traits, but one of his few negative traits was that he had trouble communicating his troubles. It was something you had to remind him to let you help him with.

“Gyu-“

“I know,” he interjected, signing, “There is something . . . Last time we spoke on the phone I told you me and the guys got our living arrangements upgraded. So, we all get our own rooms now. Which, I thought would be nice at first. I get my own space and privacy, but . . .”

“You miss having a roomie?” you half-smiled sympathetically, now sitting beside him.

He nodded, a pout subconsciously resting on his lips, “I used to share a room with my brothers back home, and then I started living with the guys, and I don’t know. I was so used to coming home and having someone there with me. It’s so lonely now without Soobin.”

Your heart sank at your boyfriend’s sad tone. You weren’t used to seeing him so down. You took his arm gently in your grasp, adjusting it so your could interlock elbows with him and hold hands. You rested your cheek against his shoulder, “Do you know how Soobin feels about the arrangements?”

“Everyone else is happy about getting their own rooms. It’s only been a week, but I kind of hate it already.”

“Well, maybe you could talk to Soobin and set up days where you can have little sleepovers. Maybe that would help?” you suggested, trying your best to give some helpful advice.

He seemed apprehensive, though, “That seems childish, does it not? What if he teases me?”

“Soobin wouldn’t tease you, Gyu. He’s your friend, and besides, you never know . . . He might miss rooming with you, too. Maybe he’s embarrassed to say anything for the same reason you’re afraid to speak about it.”

Beomgyu nodded, his cheek resting atop your head. He let out a content sigh and you finally felt his shoulders relax under your touch, “I’m sorry again for waking you, but thanks for the advice.”

You smiled softly, your eyes feeling heavy again, “Always. Did you want to sleep here for now?”

“Please,” he grinned as you stood up, untangling your intertwined limbs so that you could slip back under your covers. Beomgyu double checked that the window was closed and locked and his hoodie was neatly laid on your dresser before getting in bed beside you. The two of you got comfortable, facing each other and holding hands between you. Your eyes were closed as you began drifting off, unaware that Beomgyu’s soft gaze was admiring your sleepy features in the dark. He wanted to lean forward and place kiss to your forehead, but he didn’t want to disrupt your peace, so he opted for pressing a kiss to your knuckles.

[stutterfly]

Swipe Right 04 | Patch Notes | JJK (M)

Rating: M (Explicit 18+)

Pairings: Jungkook x Reader, brot7 x friendship

Genre: E2L, fluff, angst, humor, [eventual] smut, PersonalTrainer!Jungkook, fuckboy!Jungkook, Nerd!Jungkook, Nerd/IT!Reader

Word Count: 15.1K

Last time on SR03: You joined a gym to increase your confidence and things progressed the way you want with your tinder match. You ended up in an unlikely competition with your friends when you went new bar together, leading to some unexpected conversations and shenanigans.

CW & Other Tags: Drinking, anxiety/panic attack mentions, muscle tearing injury mention, fuckboy Jungkook, pining, flirting, pick-up lines, sexual tension, Joonie is still Y/N’s best boi, soft Jungkook

Series: Activate your SIMCard

Fic: Swipe Right (4/?- Ongoing)

Do not repost.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

When’s the last time you felt as good as you do right now? Jungkook has pretty much stopped bothering you since that night at Seesaw, your date with Jason went well, and you’ve been sticking to your early morning workouts. You definitely don’t push yourself as much as trainer Hwasa, and you know you should really take advantage of the free trial, but it was overwhelming to take in so much at once and the session made you sore all over for days.

At least your stamina seems to be improving and you’ve discovered post-workout endorphins are real. Tonight is your second date with Jason, a date you’ve uncharacteristically elected to host at your apartment. You can place some blame on those endorphins for your boldness, with pining and disappointment composing the rest of it.

While your first date ended without a kiss, there was enough flirting to keep you hopeful. Neither of you were brave enough to do anything about it then, but you’ve mentally coached yourself into pretending like you have an unbreakable spine with nerves of steel. Meeting him only solidified your attraction, and you’ve resolved to take the lead, even though you feel like you have no idea what you’re doing.

It’s not like you often make the first move, but your confidence in him to do so has waned. You’ve been talking and playing games together online for months without any physical touch. Despite how he’s said he likes you and wants to see you again, you’d still be waiting if you didn’t suggest today.

You’re determined to show him what he’s missing by being a recluse. That’s why you’ve picked out the sluttiest clothes and the strappiest heels you own, decorated your face with expensive makeup, and even styled your hair instead of just letting it do whatever it wants for the day. You check yourself out in the full-length mirror on your bedroom door for the millionth time and pull down on the hem of your dress like it will somehow magically grow longer.

You don’t need the heels; no part of the night calls for them. You’re going to be sitting on the couch with him. If you’re lucky you’ll even move it to the bedroom you spent so much time cleaning. But they’re cute and they make you feel sexy, so you’re going to keep them on until he’s peeling you out of your dress.

Nerves bubble in your stomach, but you have to pretend like they’re not there or you’ll fixate on how hard you’re trying to be confident and cool. You’ll fall apart when it’s obvious to Jason how hard you’re pretending to be everything you aren’t. Checking your phone doesn’t help; it’s almost time.

Taking a deep breath, you pace through the confines of your apartment as you wait, and answer group texts from Jennie and Namjoon. You offer up a selfie, hoping any compliments will build your confidence enough to stave off the anxiety in your gut. A few devil emojis later, some keysmashing, and more than a couple hamfisted compliments from Namjoon, your ego is adequately inflated but you can always use more hyping. Maybe you should send it to Jimin to fish for more compliments? He’d indulge you for sure.

Instead you flop on the couch and open Tinder. According to Jennie, Jason is stringing you along; it’s been months, but you hate to admit that she has a point. So you don’t. She’s been telling you for a while now that she thinks you should pursue other suitors. While you object to her assumptions, she has more experience with this kind of stuff. It’s not exactly something you want to believe, not when you’ve put in so much effort for literal months.

You want to believe in Jason being awkward and dorky and that’s why it’s taken so long for the two of you to hook up. He’s shy and super introverted, but so are you. So why are you the only one trying to make things happen? You want to believe, but at this point you’re uncertain enough to heed Jennie’s advice and keep swiping any time you find yourself in a situation where you’re waiting on him. Like now.

You have your reservations about swiping while you wait for your date to begin, but you can practically hear Jennie cheering you on. He’s late anyway, and it will keep you busy until he arrives. You open the discovery tab and swipe left on a couple incomplete profiles. Most of the guys on here don’t put in any effort. How are you supposed to want to give any of them a chance when you don’t even get a tiny snapshot of who they are?

When you pass on yet another fish pic profile, a blue frame appears around the next guy in line. It takes a moment for your brain to register the name along with the duck-faced photo as someone familiar.

[Jungkook said: Your legs remind me of oreos 🥴 wanna know why?]

How fucking dare he? You match with the intent to ream him out and leave.

You: I told you not to fucking find me on here

It takes only a few seconds before you see the dots move on his end, like he was waiting for the moment you would answer, and it keeps you tethered to the conversation.

Jungkook: Princess!! I couldn’t help myself how are you

Jungkook: Surprised you didn’t block me

You: Don’t worry I’m gonna

Jungkook: it’s bc you wanna know huh

You: ???

Jungkook: Your legs

Jungkook: Like oreos

Jungkook: I wanna split them n lick the cream from the center 😜

Electricity rumbles in your gut, carrying heat and a surge of excitement to your cunt that threatens to flood your panties. You swallow hard and squeeze your thighs together as you stare at the screen. Embarrassed by the response his antics elicit, you scramble to formulate a coherent thought.

You: I wish I could unread 🤢

Jungkook: Aw but that’s one of my favorites

Jungkook: Just like you 😘

You: 🙄

You: I hate you so much

Jungkook: So much that you matched with me?

You stare at the message like a clever response will come to you and when it doesn’t you bite your lip. He’s got a point. Haven’t you learned your lesson not to encourage him? Your eyes scan the top of your phone for any notifications from Jason. Nothing. At least this is keeping you distracted. That’s what you tell yourself.

Jungkook: You’re still here which means 👀

You: It means I’m tired

Jungkook: Of?

You pause for a moment. Namjoon and Jennie can’t know how anxious you are about Jason. It’s the guy’s last strike with them and he hasn’t even met them yet. Jungkook, an impartial third party, might be able to lend an ear. As much as you don’t care what he thinks, you need an outlet for the anxiety in your chest. You start to draft a word-vomit. Jason has been so hesitant to see you in person again and now he’s late. Maybe if you just put it out there to someone you’ll feel better.

Jungkook: If you need to sleep how about a massage?

Jungkook: I’m good with my fingers 🥴

Stupid. In what universe could you confide in Jungkook? Deleting your word-vomit before you can send it, you start to type something else, but your thumb accidentally taps enter at the exact wrong moment.

You: You know what? I want you

FUCK. Goddamn you, sausage fingers.

You scramble to rewrite the sentence but Jungkook is quicker. He has to know it was an accident, but you’re still fucking mortified.

Jungkook: 😈

Jungkook: My place

Jungkook: Ten minutes

You: *to stay off my profile

Jungkook: 👉👌?

You: YOU KNOW I DIDN’T MEAN THAT

You: 🤢🤢🤢

Jungkook: 😩

Jungkook: Now you’re just playing games with me princess

Jungkook: Can’t say I mind just fuck me up 🥴

You: Don’t you have a princess to fuck in another castle? Maybe she can stroke your tiny ego

Jungkook: Ouch felt that from here

He goes quiet and you close the conversation out. Setting the phone down on the cushion beside you lasts all of two seconds. When your phone buzzes twice, you know better than to answer, yet you feel compelled to look.

Jungkook: Hey quick question

Jungkook: Is this the most you’ve used the app to talk with someone you like? 👻

Just like that you unmatch with him and take a moment to seethe. Distraction or no, he’s not worth the mental energy. He always seems to draw you in like a pretty little thirst trap and drain you of your sanity. Not engaging is the safest option so why do you always end up doing so? Maybe it’s that shitty little part of you that gets excited any time he shows you attention.

There’s a gullible girl within you; she sets your pulse on fire when he feigns even the slightest interest, fills your head with wind when he brushes against you, and floods your eyes with tears when he walks away. Still, she wants him to look at you, even if it means he’s really looking through you. You hate her. Why can’t she learn that you deserve better?

You check the time again and wince. Jason is really late now. Not even a text. Or a phone call. Maybe it’s traffic?

Try to relax. Nothing bad is going to happen. You’re going to have fun tonight.

You start up a game to take your mind off the options available to explain his absence. When you’re invested in a game you often lose track of time, but tonight you’re hyper-aware of every minute that passes. You bite at your freshly painted nails during loading screens, chipping the red from their edges. Sounding casual is difficult when you’re worried, but you attempt it anyway via text. It’s ten more agonizing minutes of waiting before your phone buzzes with an answer.

The controller drops to your lap and immediately tears begin to sprinkle your thighs with the manifestation of your heartache.

He forgot.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

An earthy scent fills Namjoon’s apartment as he carefully transfers the last of his plants to a bigger pot, filling in the edges of its roots with fresh soil and patting the edges down with care. His plants have needed this, maybe even more than he needs the mini hangout that will soon follow. The kitchen table is covered in dirt, but at least he’s almost done.

It’s not his fault Jungkook showed up earlier than expected. At least he’s quiet now. It’s been a while, but he’s finally stopped asking about how much longer it will take, so he must either be invested in the show he put on or asleep on the couch.

“Almost done,” Namjoon loudly announces. “Can you text Tae?”

“Kay.” Jungkook yawns as he stands and heads towards the bathroom. “Jin was already cooking when I left so it should be ready soon.”

“Good. I’m hungry,” Namjoon says, carefully transporting the plant to the desk in his bedroom.

As he’s on his way to clean up the mess on the table there’s a soft rapid knock at the front door. The moment he opens it and finds you standing before him, he knows something is wrong. Even the ratty hoodie covering your shoulders can’t hide the effort you’ve obviously put into your appearance tonight. While your makeup seems to have fared rather well, your eyes are red and your cheeks are puffy. His mind automatically assumes the worst about your second date and his jaw tightens.

“What happened? Did he hurt you?”

“He never showed.” You throw your arms around him and openly sob.

“Oh, Y/N…” His arms are around you in an instant, hugging you close while keeping his dirty fingers at bay.

You press your cheek against his chest, letting the tears fall freely. “I’m sorry. I know you probably have plans tonight, but I wanted to stop here—” You choke out a loud sob and wipe your nose with your sleeve as you look down at the floor. “I didn’t want to drive upset but you weren’t answering and I just—”

“Shit. Exam today. I left it on silent.” He pats his pocket to make sure it’s still there, wiping as much dirt as he can on his jeans before placing his hands on your shoulders. “Hey, it’s okay. Deep breaths.”

Jungkook emerges from the bathroom quietly with a furrowed brow and pursed lips. Did he hear your voice or is it his imagination? Unsure if you’re some wishful remnant of earlier texts, he peeks around the corner.

Heels: black, strappy heels with a velvety smooth red undersole. Has he ever seen you in heels? If he has, it’s never been something as flashy as these. His gaze travels up the smooth, exposed skin of your legs until it hits the hem of a skirt. The dark fabric seems a little short; it clings to your thighs, riding up as you embrace his friend. It’s hard not to notice how well it accents the curve of your hips and more importantly: your ass. He’s definitely never seen you in something so revealing, not even on nights where you’ve joined them for dancing.

He pauses for a fraction of a second, eyes trained on the swell of your ass before moving up to find the disappointing sight of your favorite hoodie barring much else from view. Namjoon’s arms outline your shape, but the places his hands rest are far too respectable to glean much else other than simple blueprints.

With his dick leading his steps, Jungkook opens his mouth to announce his presence with a joke. He means to selfishly steal a glimpse of your entire ensemble with some snarky comment but you choke out a sob and his stomach lurches to form a whirlpool of apprehension. His mouth remains open, but his words are swallowed back into the dark swirling pit that now wrenches his gut in circles.

Namjoon looks up just in time to read the confusion and shock on his features. He shakes his head and cups yours against his chest, wordlessly signaling Jungkook to keep quiet.

“Is there anything I can do? Do you wanna talk about it?” Namjoon asks, hoping you don’t see the man behind you slowly backing away like he’s just approached a rabid animal.

You’re sobbing. Why are you sobbing? What happened? Was it what he said before you unmatched? Jungkook tiptoes back into the kitchen without a word. He leans against the counter and shoves his hands in his coat pockets, trying to piece everything together. Did he cause this?

You screw your eyes shut to try to keep the tears inside. It’s no use. They always seem to find a way out. “He didn’t show up and when I texted him, he… he said he forgot."

“What?"

“I thought it would be good after the arcade date, you know? Like, good chemistry. He’s weird. I like him! He seemed interested and we made these plans and he just—” you choke out another loud sob. “God. Am I really so fucking forgettable?”

You wanted your friends to be wrong so badly that you ignored the fact that it’s been like pulling teeth trying to get Jason to meet up again. For him to forget completely is like a kick to the face that leaves all the teeth intact, maybe a little bloody, but stubbornly intact.

“Y/N, no. It’s not your fault. You deserve better than this fucking guy.”

Jungkook swallows hard. This definitely doesn’t feel like a conversation he should be hearing, but it’s loud enough to carry through the entire apartment. Kitchen, bedroom, or bathroom: his options are limited, but he knows there’s nowhere to go to pretend like he can’t hear it. It’s not like he can just walk out the front door now.

“Do I? It’s seems like a fucking pattern, Joon. I fall for people so easily and they always make me feel like an idiot for trying. Donghyun. Seojun. Jason. Jungkook… It doesn’t matter. No one fucking wants me.”

Jungkook tenses. He may not know all the names on your list, but his is among them all the same. Has he really hurt you so much?

“Hey… Don’t think like that,” Namjoon says, his voice soft as he rubs your back. “You know your worth, and it’s not measured by how well someone else can see it.”

Every time you think you’re done crying, fresh tears begin to roll down your cheeks. “I’m tired, Joonie.”

“I know. I’m sorry. We'll get you home."

As you step back to look at him your ankle rolls, and you begin to fall. Hearing the scuffle, Jungkook winces and peeks around the corner. Namjoon has a good enough grip to stop you from fully tumbling to the floor, but you’re definitely not stable by any means.

Although you now face Jungkook, you’re too distracted by your ankle to notice the extra pair of eyes on you. He allows himself to stupidly linger within your line of sight, raking his gaze across your form to take in the details of your attire, right down to your choice of earrings. Even with a red nose and puffy, smudged eyes, the time you’ve spent on your appearance remains evident.

You did all that for some guy who didn’t even show? If that’s how you dress for your dates then his innocent perception of you is completely wrong. What kind of moron would pass up the opportunity to peel you out of that dress and dive into your cunt? You look incredible. What the fuck.

"God. Shit. Fuck! Fucking stupid heels!” You huff out your exasperation and let a small pitiful laugh pass your lips as you right your stance with Namjoon’s help. “You know, I spent hours getting ready and now I just look stupid. I feel stupid.”

“You don’t. You’re not,” Namjoon insists, his palm squeezing your shoulder.

“Namjoon, I shaved my entire body. Do you know how long that took?”

Jungkook forces himself to withdraw into the kitchen. If you see him now you might murder him. He purses his lips into a thin line and tightens his grip around his arms. In an instant he imagines hiking your dress above your hips and parting your legs so he might brush his cheek against the smooth expanse of your thigh all the way to your core. Are your panties as slutty as your dress? Are they cute? Lacy? Plain?

“Geeksquad…” Namjoon sighs loudly. “I really don’t need to know— Hold up. Wasn’t this the second date?”

“Are you slutshaming me?” The tired laugh that follows sounds more like you, but it still hurts his heart. “I’m stepping up my game.”

“Nah. You do you,” he says, a soft smile on his lips that’s obviously full of pity. “You want to stay and get some food? I think I have some sweats you can change into.”

Tires screech in Jungkook’s mind. Is he going to be trapped here for the night? Without dinner? What kind of karmic torture is the universe putting him through?

“No, I’m sorry,” you sniffle, wiping your face with the sleeves of your sweater. “Jennie wants me to come over but I—I didn’t think I could make it with having a full meltdown. You were on the way.”

“No need to apologize.” He pulls you into another tight hug. “Do you want me to walk you back to your car?”

“No, no it’s fine. I’m right in front. Thanks, Joonie.” Your phone begins to buzz in your hoodie pocket. You pull back and wave it at him, already on your way to the door. “It’s like she knew. I’ll talk to her on the way. Thank you for listening to me cry for the millionth time.”

“Always. Text me when you get there, okay?”

“Will do, mom,” you tease with a soft laugh.

“Zip up your hoodie.”

You grimace at him with narrowed eyes but heed his advice on your way out. You also pull your skirt down as far down your thighs as it will reach. Men are gross and you trust virtually none of them.

Jungkook waits until he hears the click of the lock on the door to breathe a loud sigh of relief. Namjoon rubs the back of his neck and stares at the door. He worries about you.

“Yikes. That Jason guy is a dick huh?”

Namjoon swivels on his heels and rounds on his friend. “Like you were so much better to her?”

Jungkook casts his gaze to the floor. “I didn’t stand her up.”

Even he knows that argument is flimsy.

“Guk.”

“It was always just a joke.”

“It’s not though. She really liked you, man. I asked you not to mess with her.”

Memories have warped Jungkook into a jaded man: untrusting although not uncaring. Guilt is the only thing churning in his stomach as he thinks of you. He never expected to genuinely hurt you. Somehow things twisted into a gnarled mess that never really felt like more than a playful game of tug-of-war. But these kinds of games only work when the people involved know that they’re playing. It’s shitty when one pulls another into the mud when they’ve never agreed to participate.

Faced with the reality of how you consider him now, it dawns on him that he’s dragged you into the mud face-first without even the slightest resistance. You’ve stood up and you’ve even yanked the rope in retaliation, but you never should’ve been in the mud in the first place. Regardless of his own emotional ineptitude, he knows you never deserved that humiliation. No one does. The weight of his actions sits heavy in his gut.

Still he tries to justify himself. “All I do now is make pass after pass and she’s the one who turns me down.”

“You said it earlier yourself,” Namjoon sneers, irritated by his friend’s immaturity. “It’s always a joke. You’re never serious and she knows it. Look, you don’t have to like her back. She’s my friend and so are you. Just don’t lead her on and stop with the mind games. Be honest with her. The least you can do is apologize for being a dick.”

“That’s— I feel like… I don’t know how.”

Jungkook can’t bring himself to tell him of your conversation earlier tonight. It just adds to the guilt piling on his conscience. Namjoon used his own words against him and the worst part is it makes sense. It’s so much easier when it’s a stranger at a bar or a random encounter at a club, but you’re neither of those things. He lumped you into that category all the same.

Namjoon clicks his tongue and puts an arm around Jungkook’s back. “Starting with ‘I’m sorry’ can go a long way. She’s a good person and I know you guys can get along. Things were going well until you made that bet, right?”

Jungkook opens his mouth to speak and then closes it. “Mmm.”

“Not every girl is a Jiseo, Jungkook.”

“Yeah.”

“I think…” Namjoon sighs and shakes his head. “I don’t know. Can you try to just... tone it down? Maybe try to patch things up?”

“Okay.” Jungkook’s brow furrows and he chews his lip as he mulls over Namjoon’s words. He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out his keys. “You ready?”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Your head dips forward as your fingers glide across the keys. It's hard to concentrate on your task when you're this distracted by your own thoughts. You stare at the monitor with furrowed brows. Namjoon grabs the back of your chair and leans forward to tower over you.

"Went that well, huh? Did he blow the second chance he didn’t deserve?"

The motion jerks you backwards and you grip the armrests of the chair to steady yourself. Despite your best attempt to curb the irritation in your expression, your frustration remains apparent. You sit back and tilt your head up to look at him, trying to think of something to say, some excuse to not reinforce the "told you so" waiting in your future, not after you showed up at his apartment sounding like a dying whale a few days before. When no ideas come to your immediate aid, you click your tongue and let out a heavy sigh as you turn your attention back to the screen.

"Geeksquad," he presses. "Talk to me."

You exhale through your nose and briefly purse your lips before obliging his plea. The words are quick and quiet so you don't run the risk of bawling your eyes out again. "He canceled.”

Namjoon steps back and the pressure on your seat is gone. He places a large palm on your shoulder. "I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about it?"

Despite wanting to give the opposite answer, you shake your head. You don't trust yourself to speak, but you'd like to tell him. He's clever and you know he'll likely find a way to get it out of you with minimal effort anyway. Still, you don’t think you can manage the words without crying like a baby and you don’t want to do that when the morning has only just begun. Silence falls between the two of you as he gives you time to decide if you want to open up.

After a moment of tapping away you finally give in. You know you’ll feel better after you cry.

"He said he had to stay behind and help do clean-up for the party he was at. And that’s nice and all, but we had plans. I feel crazy. I should be glad that he’s so kind, right? Like that shows he’s a good person, right?” Your voice has cracked but it hasn’t quite broken.

He sighs and flops in the chair on the other side of his desk. “Y/N… I think you’re asking me for answers you already know.”

“But tell me anyway,” you press, tears welling in your eyes. “Our first date went so well. So why-y-” Your voice breaks.

“Hey.” He reaches across the desk and brushes his fingers against your arm. “I know you want me to help you make excuses for him... But you deserve someone who values your time. Clearly he’s just looking to waste it.”

“But—”

“Y/N, you don’t need someone like that. If this is what he’s like before you’re even together, then what kind of effort is he really going to put into a potential relationship? Not enough. There are so many people out there, people that would trip over themselves just to have the chance to be with you. I know you don’t want to hear it, but I think it’s a mistake that you even gave him another shot. He blew it. Twice. Delete his number. Forget him.”

“I know,” you croak. Tears fall from your eyes and you quickly swipe them away, focusing on the task at hand.

Namjoon is right and you know it, but you’re kind of irritated about it. You know it’s not really him you’re mad at, but Namjoon is a good enough placeholder while you try to sort through your hurt feelings.

You muster your most monotone voice as you stand. “I updated your drivers and deleted any cached files that might have been causing issues. Is that all?”

“Don’t be mad at me,” he pleads, rising to block your path as you step towards the door. “You have a big heart and I hate seeing it stepped on.”

In a matter of seconds you melt into his embrace and bury your face into his shirt. “I hate how fast I like people.”

“I know.” He pets the back of your head softly and squishes you against his chest. “It’s gonna be okay. How about udon later? My treat?”

“With beef?” you ask with a sniffle.

“With beef,” he agrees.

“Gyoza?”

“Mhm.”

“And takoyaki?”

“...You’re pushing it.”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

You slide the appetizer tray across the table towards Namjoon. “Here.”

He shovels a dumping into his mouth right before he speaks. “I could eat this every day for the rest of my life.”

“Could you afford it though?” you tease, taking a sip from the bottle of saké and crinkling your nose at it before passing it to him.

“Not if you’re joining me,” he snorts. “You’re supposed to pour it.”

“No, thanks.” You push the tiny glass full of liquid back towards him.

"Wow. Are you guys on a date?"

You know the source of the voice before you even crane your neck to see Jungkook.

"Pfft." Namjoon waves the question off with a deep laugh.

Despite finding the scenario of ever dating Namjoon absolutely absurd, you can’t help but feel a little insulted by the volume of his laughter. Namjoon’s hangout night was supposed to take your mind off of how unwanted Jason made you feel. Instead, the pit of insecurity within your stomach grows into a thick, tangled brush of hostility. Is being seen with you really so laughable?

“Why would we be?” you snap, turning your attention back to your bowl.

Heat settles in your face and you purse your lips, not daring to look at either of them. You try to wrangle some noodles to shovel in your mouth before you can say something stupid. Their eyes are on you. Jungkook is definitely confused but not alarmed by your hostility. It’s something he’s grown accustomed to. But Namjoon knows when he hurts your feelings, every time, and it’s easy enough to disarm your irritability.

“She’s way too good for a mess like me,” Namjoon says with a light laugh.

“Why are you here?” you ask, tone already softer than before.

"Post-work snackie," he answers, all too cheery for your sour mood. “Came for the noods. Mind if I join?”

He looks to the rosy-cheeked Namjoon for his answer, as you set your hoodie and purse down in the space beside you to give him yours. Namjoon betrays you by scooting over to make room on his side of the booth. You’d mentioned to him before that you’d eventually like to fix things with Jungkook, to somehow make steps for peace. But you only have so much mental energy left to give today.

“Not tonight, Jungkook,” you plead with a sigh.

The frustration in that puff of breath is enough to make Jungkook hesitate. He blinks a few times, wide-eyed. “What?”

“I just… can’t handle your bullshit tonight.”

Jungkook tries to break the uncomfortable tension with a grin. “No bullshit tonight. Promise.”

“No.” Your answer is firm and somehow so fragile that it makes both men worry their brows in the same fashion. “Please, just go away.”

He shoves his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket and takes a few steps back. He doesn’t know what to make of your demeanor, but he can put enough together to know the basics. You’re upset, maybe not at him for once. However unlikely, that’d be a blessing. Maybe you’re still upset about that guy that stood you up a few days ago. If that’s the case, he probably shouldn’t stick around and risk letting on how much he knows about that.

He tongues the side of his cheek and nods, forcing a smile to his face. “Alright. I’ll just order it to go. Planned on that anyway. Catch you later.”

Guilt wracks your nerves as he walks away. The moment you look back at Namjoon, you’re faced with a wall of disappointment that threatens to topple the scale of decision-making in Jungkook’s favor.

“You’re judging me for that,” you mumble. The noodles between your chopsticks slip back into the broth.

“Little bit,” Namjoon admits, watching his friend sulk over to the entrance waitstaff. “You know he told me he’s trying to be nicer to you.”

“What? When?”

“The other day. We hung out.”

He keeps his answers short and ambiguous, hoping your curiosity has been piqued. Maybe this is the golden opportunity he’s been hoping for to patch your friendship.

“Was this before or after he harassed me on Tinder?”

Namjoon’s heart sinks into his butt. Of course Jungkook would make reconciliation harder than it needs to be. “When did he do that?”

“That night I showed up at your apartment like a big crybaby.”

“I went over his place for dinner after you left. Jin wanted to try a new recipe out on us.” That seems to at least make you pause.

“You guys talked about me?”

“Yup.” He goes back to chewing his food, knowing he’s got you hooked.

Your incredulous stare does nothing to pull information past his lips. “Joonie. What did you say about me? What did he say?”

“Mmm?” He slurps up a long noodle. “A lot of things. But they’re not really my words to tell.”

“No one likes clickbait, Joon.”

“Look, all I’m saying is that he told me that he wants to fix things. If you want specifics, maybe we can invite him to come eat with us. It might be easier for the both of you to talk about it over good food.”

You sigh, seriously considering his words even as you shake your head. “Joon, I’m already emotionally compromised. I really don’t want to cry in front of Jungkook tonight.”

“Why would you cry? This is a night for good things only. Namjoon-approved and protected. You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to... I just thought it might be nice to make some good memories with good friends.”

You roll your eyes but hold your pinky out for him. “Fine. But this is Joonie-Y/N time. You’re cutting into that allotted time slot, you know that right?”

Namjoon rests his elbow on the table, preparing to pinky swear to whatever you’re about to suggest. “Conditions?”

“He sits next to you, he doesn’t make fun of me if I cry, and…. he doesn’t get to talk.”

“Y/N.”

“Fiiiiine. He can talk. But he better be as nice as you say he’s trying to be.”

“We allowed to talk about Jason?”

“If it comes up…” you sigh. “You know, if he’s mean to me and I cry then you have to deal with it.”

He clasps his long pinky around yours. “Deal. But with how all that just went down, you gotta go tell him to come back. He won’t believe me if I do it.”

“Don’t let him be mean to me,” you plead, tightening your grip on his pinky and locking eyes with him. “Good vibes only.”

“He won’t be mean. Good vibes only.” Namjoon nods with a soft smile. “He really is a good person where it counts, Y/N.”

You push your things aside and force yourself to find Jungkook. He’s leaning against a wall near the entrance, scrolling through his phone while he waits for his order. You quietly request to your waitress that you’d like his food brought to your table. She’s nice enough about it, but your stomach churns regardless. It’s the anxiety.

You gingerly poke a finger against his shoulder as you approach. “Um. Hey.”

He seems startled at first, but smiles when he realizes it’s you. “Hmm?”

You take a deep quiet inhale, trying your best not to get lost in the butterflies his charming smile conjures in your gut. You try to tell yourself it’s anxiety and nothing more. Apologies are hard and scary. That’s all.

“I’m… sorry for being rude. I’ve had a rough week but I shouldn’t take it out on you. Come eat with us, please. Namjoon’s buying anyway.”

His eyes seem to light up with surprise and a warm smile deepens the creases around his eyes and mouth. The hope that these feelings of attraction would evaporate with time is a flame swiftly snuffed out and replaced with a burning heartache that deems denial useless. Even now, pangs of infatuation lurk below your feelings of disdain, breaking the tension of its surface with each beat of your heart.

“It’s okay,” he reassures you. “I shouldn’t have invited myself when I saw you guys. I should really get home and shower anyway.”

He looks so clean that you’d assumed he’d already showered. It’s not like you can smell him from where you stand. Maybe he’s lying, but at least you get the sense it’s coming from a place of politeness.

“Jungkook, I want you to come eat with us. Besides Namjoon wants someone to drink saké with him and I cannot keep doing it.”

“I see.” He offers a small laugh and rubs the back of his neck. “Are you sure? You seemed pretty against it before. What changed?”

“Namjoon told me you’re trying to be less of an asshole to me.”

“Did he?” he licks his lips and tries to hide his pleased smile. “I’m surprised you believe him.”

“He also promised me I could punch you in the dick if you make me cry,” you lie, completely stone-faced.

If he knows that’s a falsified statement, he doesn’t say anything. He looks past your shoulder to quirk a brow at Namjoon, who appears to be furiously texting at the table. Jungkook’s phone buzzes a few times against his palm and he’s fairly sure he already knows who it is.

“Come on. I already asked them to bring your food to the table.”

He reads Namjoon’s messages as he trails behind you.

NAMJOON: If you seriously want to apologize stick around, make her laugh, just listen when you need to

JUNGKOOK: Don’t worry

JUNGKOOK: I got u

Before Namjoon can send a text saying that Jungkook's response has the opposite effect, you’re peeking across the table, trying to get a glance at the screen.

“Who’s that?” you wonder. Namjoon’s not usually one to be so secretive with his texts.

“Hmm?” he raises his eyebrows at you and pours you a shot. “Stupid. Don’t worry about it.”

“Ha. Haha. Ha.” You gesture at your face. “You say to the girl with anxiety.”

Crinkling your nose at the glass he offers, you slide it across to Jungkook as he settles in next to Namjoon. “Here. I’m done drinking that stuff tonight.”

He regards it with a quirked brow. Something about your demeanor really has changed, but looking between you and Namjoon does nothing to answer the question of what that may be.

“Okay, so on reddit this guy was reaching. He’s going on about the symbolism in the red scarf—”

Your eyes gloss over the moment he mentions reddit. Is there anything you care less about than Joon’s favorite modern literary discussion threads?

“Got it. Not worrying about it,” you interrupt, bringing your bowl to your lips to slurp some of the broth.

Jungkook hides his smirk by throwing his head back to drink his shot. Namjoon is a genius. It might be scary if he ever decided to use his intellect for nefarious purposes. Lucky for the universe he uses it to protect others, like a real superhero would.

As the three of you dine together, you’re surprised to find that Jungkook isn’t being as annoying as he usually is. In fact, it seems the more he drinks outside of any competitive setting, the more affable he becomes. Maybe there’s something to Namjoon’s clickbaity words. He’s almost the person you remember meeting before the Halloween Party, maybe even more pleasant.

You’re grateful when the two of them start telling embarrassing stories so you can listen and laugh at the way they slur their words and interrupt each other. Laughter makes your heart feel light and full, and brave enough to take the last step to prove to yourself you’re done chasing Jason. As the two men fight over the last piece of gyoza and distract themselves over dessert, you quietly decide to clear your text messages from Jason. Your finger hovers over the delete icon for a second before purging his contact information from your device entirely.

It’s freeing to not have to worry about what you should send him. It’s frustrating to have tried so hard for so long and have nothing to show for it, but at least there will be no conversation history to pick apart anymore. It should feel perfect. That will definitely show him, right? You don’t have to reflect for more than a couple seconds to reinforce the memory of how little he actually reached out on his own.

He still has your number. The only time he ever called was on your first date. He never texted you unless you spoke first. He probably won’t even notice you’re gone. He’s probably relieved he won’t have to answer you anymore. He probably thinks you’re desperate for trying for so long. You don’t realize how well you wear your anxiety.

When you look up Jungkook is watching you while he chews with his mouth wide open. “Hey, why do-” He hiccups and swallows. “Why do you look so sad? You should have some ice cream.”

He scans the table for something to offer you, but he can’t seem to find what he’s looking for in his drunken stupor. After a few seconds his eyes finally land on his own plate where the other half of his red-bean cake sits.

“Do you want my taiyaki?” He holds the tail end of the fish-shaped cake out to you. “It’s really good!”

You can’t help but laugh at the unexpected sweet absurdity of the night. “Jungkook, I don’t want your half-eaten cake.”

He frowns and looks at the pastry. “Is it because I bit it? I’ll break off that part for you if you don’t want your mouth to touch that.”

Although Jungkook definitely is more drunk than Namjoon right now, the older man can’t help but be amazed by how well this is going. He loads up on green tea ice cream and digs his spoon in it. He shouldn’t have been so worried. Jungkook can put away the act when he wants to, especially once alcohol is involved and there’s nothing to prove. You guys are actually getting along. What a relief.

“No, really it’s okay.” You laugh.

Jungkook is already breaking the pastry apart in his hand, watching as it crumbles to pieces on his plate. He blinks a couple times and closes his mouth in a frown.

“I thought that would work.” He sounds utterly defeated.

The waitress walks over just in time to watch Namjoon stick a heaping spoonful of wasabi in his mouth. You're too busy laughing at Jungkook's forlorn expression to notice the way Namjoon's eyes water. His eyes drop to the ice cream he thought he shoveled into his mouth. Right next to the pristine, untouched scoop of green tea ice cream, he finds his spoon resting in the hunk of wasabi adjacent to it. He should really pay attention more. He pushes against Jungkook's side and motions that he needs to get up. The younger man spares a glance his way but Namjoon waves him off while mumbling something about the bathroom.

The waitress tries to keep her composure and looks between the pair of you. "How is everything?"

"Great! Could you please bring us some water?" you ask in your sweetest voice, realizing the two men with you should at least try to start sobering up.

You expected to have Namjoon crashing on your couch on a Friday night, or at least be dropping him off down the hall at Hobi’s place. Jungkook was not part of the plan, but you can’t exactly let him drive home inebriated. You know he’s not your responsibility but you’d feel guilty making him call for a ride home when you’re perfectly capable.

Although you hate to admit it, you’ve had fun tonight. If you’re being honest with yourself you’d like to see what he’s like without Namjoon nearby to police his moves. He’s been nice enough, but you want to know for sure this isn’t an act. You want to ask him if he’s made another bet, or playing some game since he hasn’t hit on you all night. Before you can get your line of questions in order, Jungkook turns to the server with large, pleading eyes.

"Oh! Can you bring some more dessert, please?"

He may be a grown ass man capable of charming the pants off of women everywhere, but right now he is little more than a child begging for seconds. Regardless of everything he's done, your heart softens, endeared and embarrassed by his drunken request to your server.

The waitress nods. "Sure, what would you like?"

His eyes fall to you for an answer. "What do you like?"

You blink at him. "Me? I thought this was for you."

He nods. "Mm. We can split it."

"Um, how about... tempura?"

"Banana?"

Jungkook’s voice is full of anticipation and his upturned eyebrows seem to bargain for agreement. It’s so hard to believe this is the same man who has been so cold to you for so long when he seems so open and warm now. You remind yourself it’s probably the alcohol. It’s probably some secret promise to Namjoon. Some bet with Hobi. Some game he’s playing. It’s probably anything other than what your dumb crush-stupefied heart wants it to be.

The waitress looks to you for approval and you give a nod. "Sure. Banana tempura."

The waitress awkwardly smiles as she gathers the empty platters and gives you a chance to break away from his endearingly drunken face. He smiles across the table at you and wrings his hands while you pick up your phone to check on those nonexistent messages. Maybe if you distract yourself enough you can ignore the feelings that are catching up to you tonight.

“Thank you for inviting me back over,” he says, reaching to the nearly empty bottle of saké to pour himself another shot. “I’ve... been wanting to talk to you."

"I’m surprised you didn’t blow up my phone.” It’s supposed to be a joke, but there’s a harshness in your tone that exposes a venomous bite beneath it.

He downs the shot and plants his elbows on the table, leaning forward on them. "I wanted to say it to your face."

“Oh, really?”

You don’t allow yourself to entertain the idea that he’s about to say anything groundbreaking, but you look away from your phone to meet those dark, twinkling eyes. Suddenly there’s hope in your gut. You’re desperate to put some distance between the feelings jumping to the surface.

“I’ve been a dick.”

“No shit.”

Though the fog of alcohol consumes his apology, his eyes focus on you with clarity. “I’m sorry.”

How long have you waited to hear those words? You never really thought about what you might say in response. His apology sits in the air between you for a moment before he speaks again.

“I’m really sorry. Namjoon is right. I am trying to be less of an asshole to you. We don’t…” he catches himself, “I don’t have a lot of close friends who are women.”

“You don’t say.”

That seems to cut through the fog. He hangs his head and focuses his gaze on the table.

“I never wanted to hurt your feelings.”

“Well, you did,” you mumble.

“I know... I’m sorry.” It’s like now that he’s said it once, he can’t stop saying it. He’s not sure how to make you understand. Maybe you do understand and you just won’t forgive him. Can he really blame you for that?

“Why?” you question; it’s the last barrier protecting your heart, the only thing keeping you from caving. “Why do you care now?”

Jungkook’s head lolls to one side as he sits back against his seat and stares at the nearly empty bottle of saké. “I don’t know. I guess I was thinking… I wish I had a save to reload. Before I messed up.”

It seems that’s the best you’re going to get out of him right now. The waitress sets down a beautiful platter of banana tempura meticulously arranged around a simple mound of ice cream, topped with a single cherry and drizzled with decorative chocolate. She places three waters on the table and you both take a moment to politely force smiles and pause your conversation.

He licks his lips and stares down at the plate and then back up at you. “Can we start over?”

“Depends. Are you gonna go back to being a dick when you’re not drunk anymore?”

“No, no. I mean it. I wanna try to be friends.”

“For real?” You swipe the cherry, pop it in your mouth and tilt your head to regard him. You can’t let yourself fully believe him. You want to. The earnestness in his drunken features charms you, but you hold onto a shred of disbelief as a crutch. You’ll wait for the moment he reverts. Hopefully this time you’ll be prepared for the whiplash that comes along with it.

“For real.”

You reflect on his apology as the pair of you dig into the dessert. “Maybe. Prove it.”

He perks up. He’ll take a maybe. Maybe means the damage he’s done might not be irreparable. The guilt weighing on his conscience feels lighter. It’s a start.

“I will. I’ll find some way to make it up to you.”

You roll your eyes, unwilling to put stock in his words. “Is this another bet with Hobi? About how quickly you can make me forgive you?”

Jungkook shakes his head furiously, wisps of wild black hair whipping his cheeks. “No, I mean it. I promise.”

You drag your lip through your teeth as you teeter on the line of acceptance. “What is a promise from a liar worth?”

He drops the flat of his palm to the table and he pouts. “Hey. I mean it…. Hm. If I break my promise…” His eyes scan the table for anything he can use to change your mind. He looks at his arm pressed against the table and then back at you. “You can choose my next tattoo.”

Your eyebrows rise into your hairline. “Really.”

He eagerly nods. “I’ll get whatever you want wherever you want. Just. Not my face.”

“I want that in writing,” you snort.

Jungkook glances around the table and pulls a napkin from under the plate of tempura. “Do you have a pen?”

“Jungkook, you don’t have to—”

“I’m serious.” He’s not taking no for an answer.

You shake your head and rummage through your purse to supply him with a pen. He smooths out the napkin he’s chosen to use as a conduit for his promise. When he’s finished writing he slides it towards you.

Princess

I’m sorry. I can make it right.

I promise. Please give me another chance.

If I blow it you can choose what & where my next tattoo goes.

As long as it’s not my face. Let’s be friends? #promise.com ♡ Jungkook

Of course he signed it with a heart. Despite his inebriation, his handwriting is still neat. Well, that’s one hell of a promise.

“Okay.” You fold the note and drop it into your purse. “We can try.”

His face lights up as he stuffs a piece of tempura into his mouth, happily chomping with his mouth wide open. He reaches for the saké but you slide a water in front of him instead.

“Friends don’t let friends get totally shitfaced at Hajime.”

He frowns at you but seems to accept your answer with a pout.

“Speaking of which… Where is Namjoon?” You crane your neck to look around the restaurant.

“Friday noodle nights common for you guys?” Jungkook asks, digging into the dessert between massive gulps of water.

“No, not really. We’re usually watching movies at my place or hanging with Hobi. But Namjoon wanted to take me out because I was sad,” you say, finally catching sight of your friend on the other side of the bar.

Jungkook’s chewing slows and he regards you with furrowed brows. “Sad?”

Before you can decide how you want to answer, Namjoon is scooting into the booth next to Jungkook and reaching for a piece of tempura. “Mmmm. What did I miss?”

“Y/N was telling me why she’s sad.”

Namjoon nods like he understands exactly what you’ve been talking about. “He’s a dick, right? Like how do you even stand someone up, not once, but twice? Makes no sense.”

“Joonie—”

“And I know what you’re gonna say, but I disagree. It has nothing to do with you or how you look, Y/N. You don’t need to workout like a maniac to try to change anything. Especially not for someone like Jason. I can’t even imagine—”

“Joon.” You click your tongue and slide a glass of water in front of him. “Please, shut the fuck up.”

As you glare at him, he looks at you with raised brows and wide eyes. Unsure what to do now that he’s obviously fubared the conversation, he casts his guilty gaze to his cup and brings it to his lips.

Jungkook stares at you with furrowed brows, trying to wait to let you fill in the blanks even though he’s itching to ask about everything. He picks another piece of tempura and stuffs it into his mouth, but when you remain silent the impulse to pry takes over. “Jason?”

“He stood me up…” you start, but you close your mouth when you realize you’re going to try to defend him. Your throat feels full, like you can’t get enough air through with a giant knot in it like this. You have to whisper so your voice doesn’t crack. “Twice.”

The couple drinking at the table nearby becomes a much more interesting place to rest your eyes than the two men across from you. Tightening your jaw doesn’t prevent the gloss from coating your eyes. Thinking about it makes you feel so stupid and desperate. Bending over backwards a thousand different ways to accommodate him couldn’t convince him to put in even a minimal amount of effort one time.

Jungkook’s eyebrows shoot up in genuine surprise. “Twice?”

The hurt you feel in your chest scorches your cheeks until anger is filling your head like a teakettle ready to release an unhealthy amount of steam right in Jungkook’s face.

“That’s what I get for giving people second chances,” you snap as you focus back on him.

Joon says your name like it’s a warning but you don’t need it. You feel guilty enough for projecting your anger onto Jungkook with a petty one-liner.

“Sorry. It’s not your fault. I just…” Your throat closes around the rest of the words.

Before an uncomfortable silence can settle over the table, Namjoon inches the bottle of saké with his fingertips until it’s in front of him. “Dating is tricky. Jason sucks. It sucks that he hurt you. But you don’t have to twist yourself into whatever you think he wants anymore. And that…” He pours the pitiful remainder of alcohol into a shot glass and slides it towards you.“...is worth celebrating.”

Jungkook silently nods his head in agreement. It’s obvious you’re on the verge of tears and he doesn’t want to be the thing that pushes you over the edge.

A soft smile curls the corners of your mouth. “That’s true, but…” you slide the glass back towards him and steal the last of the banana tempura. “I can celebrate back at my apartment. Finish your water so you’ll be awake enough to join me. Both of you.”

Jungkook perks up and happily reaches for his water while Namjoon gives you a proud, yet confused look. It seems like a new start to something. What that is remains to be seen.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Jungkook watches intently as the colors of the city shine through the windows. He runs his fingers over the soft blanket you keep in the backseat, mouthing the words to the song softly playing from your dashboard. Namjoon has been talking nonstop from the passenger seat, which is fine with Jungkook since he’s feeling a little tired. The last session of the day was a bit more intense than intended, but the client left happy and covered in sweat. A success. But Jungkook is sore and exhausted. Physically and socially.

A sense of relief floods him at the memory of his conversation with you. Things may actually be okay from here. Who would have thought crashing your noodle night with Namjoon could have yielded such results?

His head bobs to the music as his eyes wander across the scenery outside until he grows bored and they drift to the interior of your car. A graduation tassel swings from your rearview mirror as you turn. He follows the movement of the tassel when it swings towards you and his eyes land on your face, or at least what he can see of it from this angle.

You look focused and calm while conversing with Namjoon but your posture is a bit rigid and your hands remain planted on the steering wheel in complete control. There’s something about this candid snapshot of your persona that puts him at ease. Your voice is a soft contrast to Namjoon’s, but equally enthusiastic.

He tilts his head as he leans back in his seat, pulling the blanket over his lap and twisting the fabric around his palm. Your eyes flicker in the rearview mirror, catching his. He gives a tiny wave and rests his head against the cushion, fighting the temptation to close his eyelids for longer than a second. The more he listens to you laugh, the more he finds himself smiling. It’s goofy.

It’s also kind of cute.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Jungkook is surprised when Yoongi answers your knock; he thought he would be asleep. He’s even more surprised when you make yourself at home on his couch and guilt him with a puppy dog pout to make you a drink, and he complies. When Jungkook asks the same, Yoongi tells him there’s beer in the fridge while measuring out the ingredients for your cocktail. The suspicious sour ache of jealousy stabs his gut as he moseys to the fridge but he quickly shakes it off, settling on the floor in front of the tv with a beer in hand.

After a couple hours of drinking, laughing, and playing Jackbox games with the three men, you’re feeling much better about everything. Life is good. Friends are good. Alcohol is very good.

It doesn’t take much to get you drunk. You’re about as much of a lightweight as Hobi and for better or worse everyone has come to know that fact. What’s nice about drinking in Yoongi’s apartment is that you don’t have to walk very far to get home. Things don’t get awkward with the three of them together; it’s actually kind of nice, like a mini Saturday night pregame.

Soon Namjoon and Yoongi are snoring on the couch with a movie playing in the background while you stand in the kitchen with Jungkook. He pours another drink for himself, though he knows it will mostly likely remain unfinished. Tomorrow may bring a massive hangover, but tonight has been surprisingly pleasant. He feels like he’s finally on okay footing with you, maybe even on the road to serious repair. Amazing how well you get along when inhibitions are replaced by inebriation. If that’s what it takes, he’s determined to keep it up.

As he turns his back to place the liquor bottle in the cabinet by the fridge, you swipe a sip of the drink he’s concocted. He spins around in time to see you wrinkle your nose and stick your tongue out.

“Hey, that’s mine!” he pouts.

“Blegh. You can have it. Yuck!” Your face screws up again at the aftertaste.

He drunkenly giggles as he slides the drink closer to him. “What, don’t like sour?”

“Too sour!” You reach for the water bottle Yoongi gave you hours ago and attempt to rinse the puckering sensation from your mouth.

Amused, he tilts his head and watches you take gulp after gulp. He purses his lips and holds back the comment itching to escape, deciding to enjoy a sip of his drink instead. You shimmy out of your hoodie and tie it around your waist and his eyes lazily follow the motion of your arms, noting a slight difference in their musculature. Some errant thought about their shape leads him back to an earlier unaddressed comment that he’s finally comfortable enough to prod you about.

“What kind of workouts are you doing?” he blurts.

Suddenly you feel very exposed. You straighten in your seat and suck in your gut, hyper aware of every imperfection of your body on display to someone so in shape. You immediately begin to fidget with the sleeves of the hoodie you just tied around your waist.

“You don’t have to tell me. I just—” he pauses, exhaling a small breath and looking down at his drink as though he’s wary of continuing the thought.

“No, no it’s fine,” you assure him, too curious to say otherwise. “What is it?”

“When Namjoon said…” he sighs and takes a sip, smacking his lips and licking them before looking back to you. “I thought maybe I can prove myself to you by helping you come up with a plan.”

“You don’t have to do that.” You plant an elbow on the counter and lean on it.

“I want to,” he insists, reaching out for your arm.

His hand is like fire engulfing your skin and your eyelids flutter at the sensation. Instinctively you place a hand over his and rub your thumb anxiously over it. He looks down to where your thumb grazes his knuckles and then back up to your face with a surprised smile.

“Um… Everything,” you say, trying to sound as vague and nonchalant as possible so he doesn’t judge you for your lack of knowledge.

“Like, full body?”

“Uh...” You’ve managed to make a habit of going to his gym a few days a week while successfully avoiding him, but it seems that time is coming to an end. “I… machine.”

“Oh. Like at a gym? Did you join one?” He seems genuinely curious.

“Um, yeah.” Suddenly you pull your hand back when you realize the speed at which your thumb is moving.

“Which one?”

The more you say, the more suspicious you seem, but is saying less any better? Jungkook rests his elbow on the counter and simply looks at you but you don’t look back. A slow smile spreads his lips as the possibility dawns on him.

“Princess… Did you join Iron Kingdom?”

You puff your cheeks and force the air through the tiny opening of your mouth. You don’t offer any sort of confirmation and continue to avoid his gaze.

“And you didn’t tell me?” he playfully prods, drumming his fingers against your forearm.

“I… Yeah,” you admit, your voice small as you stare at the counter. “I didn’t want you to know.

“Why?”

“Because.”

“Because?”

“I don’t want to give you another thing to make fun of me for.”

“I’m not gonna make fun of you.” When you don’t respond he tugs on your arm. The motion is enough to angle you towards him. “Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.”

“What?” you grumble, staring at your lap even as you face him.

He takes your hands in his and drunkenly waves them around. “Heeeeeeeey. Look at me.”

He pouts until you reluctantly drag your eyes to meet his. “What?”

“Everyone starts somewhere,” he says softly. “Even me.”

The shift in his demeanor catches you off guard and you subconsciously lean forward as you relax. “Well I started with Hwasa, but I was too sore to ask for another session with her.”

He nods sympathetically, clapping his hand over yours. “You should try again.”

You shake your head. “I don’t know. I feel like…”

“Like?” he prods when you let the silence trail for a bit too long.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” you sigh. “I feel like I don’t belong there. I look so stupid reading the instructions on the machines. I don’t even think I’m doing it right.”

“What?” He makes a sound between a laugh and a grunt. “There’s nothing wrong with making sure you don’t hurt yourself. Nobody knows how to instantly do things. If they tell you they do, they’re lying.”

“Or they’re Namjoon,” you say with a roll of your eyes, glancing over at your snoring friend.

He smiles and clicks his tongue against his teeth in thought. “I didn’t know what I was doing when I started.”

“Really.”

You’re skeptical. It’s always seemed like he was born in a gym. Or maybe hatched. He’s kind of inhumanly gorgeous. Maybe he sprouted from a flower like a mythical god.

“For real. First time doing squats. I think it was gym class? Yeah, I was like twelve or thirteen. I was… not very athletic. Didn’t play sports or anything. Kind of shy. Didn’t really have a lot of friends either…”

The way he trails off makes your heart hurt. Puberty isn’t nice to most people. It’s hard to imagine a world where someone like Jungkook isn’t instantly popular and naturally fit. While you’re not exactly the same person you were at twelve, a lot of your interests and personality quirks have remained the same. You’re still painfully awkward at times. How did he manage to overcome something like that? Is it not ingrained in him like it is you?

“Just a big dork, you know?” He laughs. “I see this girl I had a crush on, Amber. She’s looking at me. I think I have to impress her. So I’m stacking up weight and I think I’m hot shit and go too fast. Know what happened?”

“Please don’t tell me you dropped it on your foot or something,” you plead, squeezing his palms at the way he’s building up the story. The secondhand embarrassment is too real.

“I hear a pop.”

“No!” you gasp, bringing your hands to your face as if you can stop the past from happening.

“And pain. So much pain. I don’t remember putting the weights down but I remember ending up on my back, staring up at the ceiling.”

“Oh no. Knees?”

“Worse.” He points down to his crotch. “Pulled a muscle in my groin. Had to sit the rest of the day with an ice pack on my junk. Was not fun. My point is: don’t give up. You learn more as you go. Give Hwasa another shot.”

His anecdote gives you pause but you’re desperate to cling to the comfort of your anxiety. “My free trial with her is almost up and I don’t think I’ll be able to afford to keep at it.”

“More excuses,” he teases, taking a sip of his drink. “At this point I should just—” His eyes widen, a lightbulb practically forming above his head as he puts his cup down. “I’ll be your personal trainer!”

“Uhh…”

“No, no. It’s perfect. We’re friends now.” He smiles, proud of himself for finding a way to prove himself to you. “I can teach you everything you need to know about working out. I can set up a plan for you and figure out the best way to help you achieve your goals. Oh, man we’re gonna have to figure out your goals. What do you—”

“Hold on. Hold on,” you interrupt with a nervous laugh. “You’re missing the part where I still can’t afford it.”

He rolls his eyes and grabs your glass, holding it under the sink to refill it. “Don’t worry about that. I’ll cover it.”

You’re stunned into silence as you observe the expanse of his back, searching the black fabric of his t-shirt for the definition of his muscles. He sets the cup in front of you, waiting for your agreement. When it doesn’t come, he second guesses himself. Did he overstep?

“I mean if you’re okay with that. Would-would you want to do that?”

The innocent drunken sparkle in his eyes makes your stomach do a flip. When you woke up this morning you hardly thought the day would include getting sloshed with Jungkook and having him offer to take you on as a fitness trainee. It’s like he’s opened himself up just enough for you to see the soft mess beneath. You like it. You like it a lot and you kind of hate yourself for it. While you don’t know if you can trust him past the evening, you find yourself hoping you can.

“You won’t make fun of me?” you ask timidly before bringing the cup of water to your lips.

“It’s my job not to make fun of you. We start where you’re at and go from there. And like I said, I’ll cover the fees for as long as you want. No pressure.” He smiles at you. “What do you think?”

“...Okay,” you murmur with a nod of your head. “If you’re serious, then I’m… I’m in!”

His lips part to expose his teeth as his grin spreads. “Yes!”

As he brings his hand up in a sign of victory, his knuckles knock against his glass. You reach for the cup with impaired reflexes, hands fumbling over the slippery surface in conjunction with his. The sour contents spill across the counter as the pair of you struggle to right the glass. While he’s quicker at getting the glass upright, your brain is faster at processing what to do next and you already have a paper towel in hand, wiping up the liquid as fast as possible.

Your eyes follow the spill to the edge of the counter where it’s flooded over the side. Acting on instinct rather than rational thought, you quickly press down where the liquid has begun to pool in his lap. As you fold the paper towel over, you rub frantically as if the action will keep the stain from setting into the fabric. He shifts in his seat and squeaks out a sound so small that you can’t actually tell whether it came from him or the chair.

It only dawns on you how inappropriate your actions are when you glance towards his face and find his wide eyes gazing back at you. His cheeks, already flushed from inebriation, seem twice as vivid and his mouth is parted slightly as though he means to speak, but he doesn’t. Maybe he doesn’t want to embarrass you, but it’s too late for that.

Your palm stills against his crotch as the shape beneath becomes clear in your mind. For a second you’re frozen, but your lips work quickly to mumble an apology. It feels like an eternity before you will your drunken fingers to release the paper towel. The clearing of Jungkook’s throat is followed by a tiny giggle, then a full on snort. A grin spreads across your lips and you soon follow him into a fit of laughter. You thank the universe for the small mercy of being drunk enough to push your embarrassment to the side for the time being.

“I wasn’t thinking!” you wheeze, tears in your eyes from laughing so hard. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’ll dry.” He laughs, dabbing his pants and shirt in the absence of your hand. As he stands he pulls the hem of his shirt away from his torso and looks down at it. “Really. It’s my fault I’m so…”

“Sticky?” You quirk an eyebrow at him, a blatant flirtatious action thinly disguised as a joke as you eye the blot of liquor staining the lower half of his shirt.

Both of his eyebrows raise and a mischievous smile curls the corner of his lips. “...Wet.”

You consider his answer with a pleased hum and turn back to the counter to polish off the last of your water. You’re friends now, right? It can’t be that easy. But it kind of is. So what’s wrong with a little harmless flirting between friends?

Drunk brain, who happens to be a notorious hoe, assures you it’s great. Rational brain might disagree, but she’s taking a well-deserved nap. You’ve at least had a good night. You’re not sure it matters at this point who is giving you the attention you crave. It feels good. So good, in fact, you’re sure you can indulge drunk brain a little more.

You’re drawn to the inky shapes swirling around Jungkook’s bicep as he wipes the counter down. Every time your eyes begin to focus on an object marking his skin with some kind of meaning, he moves and you lose it. It’s brush strokes, isn’t it? You’ve definitely seen a paintbrush and mountains and a knife surrounded by roses. A swathe of grey and purple connects to each one you’ve seen, but you know there are more.

Before you can blurt that you’re dying to know how many he has and how bad it hurt to get them, he turns toward the sink and begins to work his t-shirt up his torso. You watch in awe as the toned muscles of his back are exposed. The image of the bright phoenix does little to hide their definition.

Trying to will yourself to look away is of no use; he’s hot and you’re drunk enough to acknowledge that fact. Of course he peeks at you just as the shirt slips over his head to find you open-mouthed and dazed, ogling him as though there isn’t any shame in the world that could pull your gaze from him. He turns to the fridge to give you a moment to compose yourself, nabbing a water bottle from the shelf in the process. You’re clearly not ready for the way he quickly spins on the balls of his feet to face you.

Y/N.exe has stopped working.

Your fingers hang in the air suspiciously until you lazily drop them. But Jungkook dons a toothy grin and has the audacity to look shy. He mockingly shields his chest from you with the shirt clutched in his hands.

“Princess! Are you… checking me out?”

Somehow you don’t let the fire in your face turn your brain to ash.“Pfft, no.”

“What’re you doing, then?” he teases with a laugh as he sits, scooting his chair closer to yours.

“Counting,” you reply simply, brow furrowed in concentration. To drive the point home, you poke at his flesh everywhere you can make out an object drawn into its surface.

“How many?” he wonders, watching with cloudy, amused eyes.

“Mmm…” You trail your finger down his arm and back up, following the curve of the brushstroke around his shoulder. “Can’t tell if this counts as one.”

He shrugs and rests his head on his palm as he leans against the counter. “What do you think?”

You hesitate when he quickly quirks a brow.

“I think… A lot.”

“Definitely accurate,” he says with a grin.

Awkward laughter steers the pair of you towards your waters. The TV in the background provides enough noise to steal your focus; you’re grateful for the distraction from the attractive man beside you. Drunk brain is telling you to touch him again, to grab his hand, to feel the touch of someone just for the night, to ruin every good thing this night has started to rebuild between you. Anything to stave off the emptiness of your bed, the 2AM thoughts of failure, and the drunken desperation to find someone, anyone, who will fall in love with whatever image you happen to project on your dating profile.

Heart pounding wildly in your chest and blood rushing through your ears, your fingertips tap against the countertop as they inch closer to where his arm rests. Luckily your futile attempts at nonchalance go unnoticed. Jungkook anxiously turns his water bottle over in his hands, trying to gather words in his brain before freeing them from his mouth.

“So…” he begins.

You jump at the sudden sound and retract your hand while he’s not paying you any mind.

“I was thinking. About that guy…”

You wish you could at least pretend you don’t know who he’s talking about. You’ve vented plenty tonight, but still your heart sinks. Deleting Jason’s digital footprint from your life was simple and quick, but the feelings of rejection and disappointment that swirl in the back of your mind spill forward the longer his pause continues.

“I know this probably means nothing coming from me. But I just— I know you liked him, but you can do better.“

Your posture stiffens at his reassurance and you find yourself grateful he’s not looking at you. Do you deserve better?

“You deserve better,” he affirms, as if somehow aware of your internal struggle.

“Thanks,” you murmur with a distinct lack of enthusiasm as you stare down your glass.

It's cry hours, isn’t it?

Realizing you don’t believe him, he takes a deep breath and nudges you with his elbow. “Hey.”

“What.” You refuse to look up because you know you’re on the verge of an irrational stream of tears over some guy you hardly knew. It’s stupid and you know it. But the wet warmth coating your eyes tells you it’s coming regardless.

“I’m... sorry that you don’t feel like you do. Some people can’t get over the weight of their own shit. But that doesn’t mean it’s on you to pick it up for them. If they can’t even bother to carry themselves to meet you halfway, then they’re not worth the effort.”

It’s a perfect time for your heart to seize up and it takes the opportunity to do so. The advice he offers doesn’t stave off the tears, but it resonates deep within you. Namjoon said something similar. It makes you ache to hear it again from someone else. It just leads you back to the same questions you keep asking yourself. What’s so wrong with you that people don’t even want to try? Is it your personality? Physicality? Is it a lack of confidence? What is it?

‘I can’t even get a shitty guy to like me. Maybe I’m the one not worth the effort.’ You don’t dare say those words out loud. Pity isn’t something you’re looking for. A warm body to fill your bed maybe, but not pity.

“Sounds easy when you say it like that,” you murmur, trying in vain to will the tears not to fall. You’re quick to swipe at them and force a smile. “I guess I have trouble giving up on people. It’s not that I’m naive. I try to be realistic. But no matter how many times I get fucked over I just... hope for the best in people. I can’t help it.”

He pats your arm reassuringly. “That’s why you deserve better.”

If only it was as simple as hearing those words and magically being able to believe it. A big chunk of your confidence has crumbled away and there’s no clear path to restoration. As the warmth of his palm comes to rest against your arm, you place your hand over his and squeeze.

“I don’t know if I believe it,” you pause and thoughtfully add, “but thanks for saying it.”

His eyebrows raise in surprise and he offers a tiny, “You’re welcome.”

A shaky chuckle passes your lips. All of his features seem to soften the more you look at them. Maybe it’s the drunken gloss coating his big brown eyes or the way his lips slightly part as he looks back at you. The tightly coiled nerves in your belly urge you to unravel.

Although it's a subtle gesture, he licks his lips as he smiles and it practically seals your fate. If you don't leave now you're bound to do something you'll regret.

"It's late. I should sleep."

Or masturbate.

The speed at which you launch yourself from the seat is unpleasant. You're not sure what's worse: the dizzying vertigo or waves nausea sloshing in your gut. Jungkook's reflexes may be delayed but he's a steady mass of muscle the moment you reach out to steady yourself.

"Whoa. You okay?"

"Maybe," you mumble, finding yourself drawn to the heat radiating from his skin. Instead of walking away, slump down to rest your cheek against his shoulder and sling an arm around him. You might be drunker than you thought. "I don't know."

"Hmm. What do you need, princess?"

"Just wanna stop spinning."

His stance shifts to better accommodate the additional weight you press against him.

"How about you take over Yoongi's bed tonight," he suggests softly. "He's passed out anyway."

"No, I should go home." You peel your cheek from the warmth of his skin.

“You gonna make it there?”

“Yes,” you say indignantly. The world may be a bit wobbly right now, but you’re certain you can handle the short stroll down the hall.

"Okay.” He smiles, loosening his hold. As you step back your foot catches on the leg of the chair and it drags loudly against the floor.

Despite Jungkook’s attempt to keep you standing by grabbing at your arms, he loses his balance and he drops to his knees. The chair clatters to the floor before your ass does. Luckily his grip keeps your back and head far from impact, but you’re too cramped to be comfortable.

“Are you okay?” he asks. Those big, dark doe eyes of his are frozen in fear and a frown adorns his face. He looks so serious it’s ridiculous.

You can’t help but laugh, wiggling backwards to make space between his body and the heat steadily building between your legs. “I’m fine. Stop making that face.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” He sits back on his feet and tilts his head to the side in confusion.

He breaks into a fit of giggles when you dramatically mimic his expression. You roll back onto your elbows, making another ridiculous face to further mock him.

“No, no. It’s more like…” Jungkook takes the opportunity to lean over you, reaching with one hand to squeeze your cheeks to pucker your lips. You blow a disjointed raspberry at him before pulling his hand off to the side.

While the clamor of the fallen chair did nothing to rouse the men on the couch, the sound of Jungkook’s hearty laughter is loud enough to disturb the rhythmic snores of Namjoon.

Jungkook sits back on his heels and peeks over the countertop. He seems miles away, even as you sit up and scoot in to bring yourself closer. Laughter fades into a quiet hum as Namjoon’s snoring resumes.

You're lost in the abyss of his gaze as he turns his head to look back at you. All that remains in your brain at this point is a foggy desire to tug on the silky spirals of his ebony hair until he presses himself against you one more time.

Your hand settles for following the curves of his bicep instead, wondering how it might feel to be wrapped within his embrace. Some might say liquor makes you bold and stupid, and they're right. They should say it. But it also makes you feel invincible, like a goddamn glowing Mario star power-up.

"Princess?"

Enraptured, his eyes follow the motion of your hand as it slithers around his arm and squeezes. Unable to ignore the prompt, he answers with a flex against your palm. His ego swells when you shiver and noticeably hold your breath.

You know it's a mistake. You know it goes against all of your sober judgement, but you find yourself doing it anyway. It doesn't matter that you still harbor a grudge that holds your heart hostage. Drunk hoe vibes are taking the wheel. You’re tired, drunk as hell, and just want to feel wanted. And he's here.

Every fiber of your inebriated being is singing in unison: Why the fuck not?

Heartbeat pounding against your eardrums, you attempt to gauge his reaction as you lean towards him. It's hard to tell from beneath half-lidded eyes, but you think he's leaning towards you too. If he isn't you suppose you can always play it off like you're just a mess. It's not far from the truth. Focusing on the tiny freckle below his lip, you allow yourself to finally close your eyes and go for it.

But the universe isn’t here for your dumb boozy bitch mistakes.

The front door swings open with the sound of jingling keys dropping to the floor. It snaps you back to reality and you freeze, realizing there's no defense that will save you. Jungkook is quick to disengage, poking his head above the counter to acknowledge Hoseok’s presence with a wave. But his friend is completely enamored with the company he’s ushering towards his bedroom.

“Yeah, baby? How bad?” Hoseok whispers to the giggling girl wrapped around his arm.

He pins the stranger against the door to drag his tongue across her neck. Their bodies move rhythmically in a slow grind, a precursor for what’s likely to come. Jungkook purses his lips. How long until one of them notices him watching? It’s not until the girl moans Hoseok’s name softly that Jungkook spares a panicked look towards you.

Oh shit.

You gesture for him to get down before he draws their attention. The last thing you want to explain is why you’re on your knees in Hoseok’s kitchen with a very shirtless Jungkook standing close by. He obliges your silent request, squatting down beside you.

“Feel how hard you made me?” Hobi chuckles quietly.

The girl giggles, her voice growing closer. “You gonna fuck me right here or what?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Naughty girl. What if my roommate wakes up? Looks like he has a friend over too. You really want them to see what a dirty slut you are?”

You can hear her giggle as he directs her where to go, failing to keep his voice down so you hear every filthy thing he says after. Your hands fly to cover your mouth. Is your skin made of lava? You want to blame it on the close proximity to Jungkook, but the only thing you can imagine is Hoseok’s dick and the eager mystery woman about to be impaled by it. Can you scrub your brain of this memory? How are you supposed to look at him after this?

Jungkook watches your face carefully, trying his hardest not to laugh. Your eyes look so big he’s pretty sure they could roll out of your skull any second. Are you really so innocent? The way you cover your mouth says you are, but maybe it’s just the shock. Maybe you’re just trying to not laugh. Or scream. Or breathe? It kind of looks like you might pass out.

Are you gonna make it, princess? he wonders.

Once you hear Hoseok's bedroom door close, you fuss your hands over your hair and scramble to your feet, releasing a big exhale. The hushed words fall from your lips while you scurry away like a timid mouse. "I should go."

Despite being too far to make contact, he reaches out as you round the counter. "Wait—"

As soon as the word leaves his mouth he struggles to come up with the rest of his statement. There’s no reason to keep you here, except to maybe laugh a little about what just happened to smooth over any second-hand embarrassment. So why doesn’t he want you to go?

He swallows down the blank space caught in his throat and searches every last crevice of his brain for something of import to say. Guilt weighs his gut down, though there isn’t a clear cause. He’s probably screwed something up again without realizing it.

“Thanks for giving me another shot,” he says softly.

You breathe a sigh of relief and offer a tiny smile as you half turn, your hand already on the door handle. “Don’t blow it.”

He nods with a smile. “I won’t. Goodnight.”

“‘Night,” you mumble.

As soon as the door is closed you practically sprint down the hall to lock yourself within your apartment. Maybe it will also lock out all the mistakes your brain has made tonight.

The world feels colder now that you’re not pressed against the human-shaped heater that is Jeon Jungkook. Thinking about him makes your heart swell and ache at the same time. Regardless of how badly you wish you'd asked him to bed, you know loneliness is fleeting and guilt would be a far worse feeling to be saddled with.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Jungkook picks up the fallen chair, finding your soft, worn hoodie draped over it. Rubbing a thumb over the material, he considers running it back to you, but he can't remember which door is yours. It's not like he's been here often enough to know. Instead he slips his arms through the sleeves before flipping the hood over his head.

He settles on the floor in the space he previously claimed for the night, pulling a blanket out from under Yoongi's ass. Yoongi rolls his head up, a scowl on his features though his eyes remain closed. He grumbles but lies down, facing the couch.

Jungkook regards his friend for a moment before deciding to drape the blanket over him instead of claiming it for himself. Jungkook rolls onto his side and fluffs the throw pillow under his head. As he watches the credits roll on the TV, he nuzzles into your sweater.

He closes his eyes, thinking of you. He knows he shouldn't linger on the little occurrences of the night, especially with how foggy his brain is. He can't trust anything about his memory.

Still he thinks of the way your fingers trailed along his arm and curled tightly around his bicep. He lets himself dwell on the tiny sound you made, the involuntary tremble of your body, and the subsequent hitch in your breath.

He smiles and inhales the subtle scent you've left behind. A new spark of adrenaline fans flames that inflate his ego, spreading warmth from his stomach up into his chest. The world may wobble around him right now, but the little magical warmth within his gut helps him comfortably drift off to dreamland like he's the world's most immovable object.

[ketamineharry]

You and Me- Harry Lewis

Requested: Yes ~ hii can i please get one where reader and harry both really like each other but they both haven’t dated in a really long time so they have no idea what to do lmaoo, just a funny and fluffy one of you don’t mind 

Authors Note: I am so sorry for how long this took to come out. At the time this was requested, I don’t think I had posted any fluff. It’s taken me quite a while to feel comfortable enough with writing something on this scale of said fluff. Nonetheless, I hope this is still enjoyable x 

The moment that you had matched with Harry on Tinder, something about it felt like it wasn’t just going to be a meaningless hookup. Perhaps it was how brutally honest he was in his profile, or the fact that he hadn’t necessarily used the most conventionally attractive photos. Something about his profile, just seemed to be more authentic than the others you had previously matched with.

He had been the one to strike up conversation, asking you how your day had been. Unlike the matches you had where this had merely been a conversation starter; something they could ask to simply open conversation to more explicit topics, Harry seemed to actually care. Asking follow up questions and building a conversation.

After a few days of exchanging messages via Tinder, Harry had asked whether you could exchange numbers. Things were going pretty well, so you had agreed. Which meant that you had the convenience of being able to text back easily, as sometimes Tinder notifications wouldn’t come through on time. It only provided you with more time that you were able to converse with him, bringing you inevitably closer.

Late one Saturday evening, you were sitting at home, watching reruns of F.R.I.E.N.D.S, when your phone started ringing. It was Harry FaceTiming you. Reluctantly, you answered the call. It wasn’t exactly ideal for the first time for you to see each other in motion, for you to be bare faced, in an old baggy jumper, wrapped in a blue fluffy blanket. Your hair thrown up in a messy bun. However, as you answered, Harry’s massive grin instantly put you at ease. His manor revealing that he was at the very least tipsy.

“You are so pretty.” He beamed.

A deep blush crept its way onto your cheeks. The compliment, although simple, was unexpected and genuine. He was lovely. You quietly thanked him.

“I just wanted to know what day it is Y/N. I know that you’d be willing to assist.” He slurred, as he leaned against a lamp post. His features being illuminated in the bright yellow light.

“It’s Saturday, the third of April.” You stated, a slight laugh escaped your lips.

“Thank you… I’m going to regret all of this in the morning.” He started with a low chuckle. “One thing I won’t regret though, do ya fancy going on a date tomorrow? I was thinking maybe bottomless brunch?” He asked as he tried to regain some sort of composure, in an attempt to try and convey that he was serious when he was asking you.

“Are you sure you want to? From the state that you’re in, it looks like you might be nursing the hangover from hell tomorrow.”

“If I wasn’t at least a little bit tipsy, Y/N… I wouldn’t have the courage to ask you out. You are way out of my league.” He stated, emphasising the way.

You thought about it for a moment. You had nothing to lose. He seemed like a fantastic guy. If he wasn’t, you wouldn’t have invested as much time as you already had into him. The date he had suggested was in a public place, and you were more than able to text one of your friends letting them know where you were. Just in case something did go wrong.

“Sure, Harry… I’m down.”

The same huge grin that you had been greeted with at the beginning of the call was now back. Accentuated by the light that he was standing under. He looked so handsome.

“Fantastic, I’ll text you the details. Goodnight, Y/N.” He mumbled, as he fumbled with his phone trying to disconnect the call.

As soon as the call ended, your phone vibrated, the details of the date including location and time. You set an alarm on your phone for a time to wake up, allowing yourself enough time to get ready and panic about getting ready.

--

You had just gotten out of the shower, the nervous knots in your stomach only increased as time passed. If Harry was anything like you thought he would be in person, you wanted to impress him. Even if it were only for this one date. After all, he had the thought to plan something like this out. Asking to meet you in the morning, instead of asking to meet up for a drink in the evening. Everything just mounted up. From what you could tell, he was taking this seriously. Which only increased your nerves, as it had been a few years since you had been on a serious date.

As quickly as you could, you dried yourself off. You had decided last night on the outfit you were going to wear. A light blue off the shoulder top, with some white jeans and beige sandals. You checked yourself over in the mirror, trying to smooth down the fabric, as much as you could. The last thing you wanted to do was look out of place, or, like you hadn’t made enough effort.

You moved onto your hair, straightening it to perfection. Before applying some light makeup. You quickly glanced at yourself in the mirror, deciding that this would do. It wasn’t perfect, but, you wouldn’t feel ashamed of being near him like this. He was beautiful without effort.

--

You clutched your bag in front of you, as you walked into the little cafe, searching the sea of people for Harry. Right at the back, next to the window, you could see a tall blonde figure. You held eye-contact for a moment, before realisation set in for the both of you. Smiles broke out on both of your faces, as Harry beckoned you over to the table.

You made your way over to the table, as you did, Harry got up from his seat and met you halfway. He interlaced his fingers with yours, as he led you back to the table. Although this was the first proper contact that you had with him, it all felt so natural. Like his hand was made to fit yours, just so. Once you were at the table, in the far reaches of the cafe it felt like you had more privacy. Like it was just you and Harry.

Before either of you sat down, he engulfed you into a tight hug. His musky scent, providing you with a net of safety from your usual anxiety about PDA.

“You look lovely.” He whispered into your hair, just loud enough for you to hear.

The meal seemed to go by so quickly, both of you getting lost in each other. Eye contact never seemed to break, as you just got lost in each other. Everything just naturally slotted into place. Nothing had to be forced, being on this date with him felt as natural as breathing.

Soon enough, however, you were both completely full. Bellies stuffed with bacon and danish pastries. Harry got up from his seat, once again and helped you out of yours. He held your hand as you walked out of the cafe. Typical British weather meant that it was already pouring with rain. The air, so much colder than when you had started the date. It provided you with an excuse to be able to huddle up to him, as you rested your head on his arm.

Your clumsiness combined with the wet paving of the British streets, did mean that you took a stumble however, your hand slipped out of Harry’s as you tried to protect your fall. Luckily, it wasn’t so bad. Harry’s nervous laugh, however, was so contagious that the stinging pain in your hands didn’t really bother you anymore. You just had to join in. Once you had both regained your composure, Harry offered his hand out to you and helped you up off of the floor.

As soon as you were stable on your feet, you were able to spot a taxi to take you home. You informed Harry of such, and he walked you over to it.

“Thank you for agreeing to this date. It’s been amazing, and I’d love to see you again.” He said.

“I’d love to.” You confirmed.

He wrapped you in a hug, once again the goodbye felt bitter-sweet. The date had gone so well. But, you just didn’t want it to end. Spending time with Harry was amazing. So much more amazing than you could have ever anticipated. Neither of you wanted to break away from this hug. This moment, as cheesy as it was, belonged to the both of you. Harry rested his forehead on yours, upping the intimacy. Yet, still being reserved as far as you were concerned.

“Kiss me.” You requested.

He placed a hand on your cheek, brushing your wet hair out of the way before softly pressing his lips against yours. The busy streets of London, didn’t seem to bother you, as your lips connected. You were just lost in him. The kiss, although not frenzied, drove just how much passion the both of you felt for each other to the forefront to the both of your minds.

The beeping of the taxi, who had been waiting for you to enter, was the only thing that knocked you out of the bubble that you had shared with Harry for the past couple of minutes.

“I’ll see you really soon.” Harry said, as you got into the back.

“Yeah.” You smiled, as you gave him a small wave.

[raggaraddy]

Sugar Daddy turned sour

Request: Hi!!!! read all of ur works its all amazing cant believe ur new.. can i request for a yan sugar daddy taehyung x reader x yan sugar daddy jungkook. they found out that that y/n have 2 sugar daddies and they lost their sanity(as if they even have that)...Thank u and YOU GOOD,KEEP GOING💜💞💞💞💞😘😁

A/N: I don't know how to post a reply to a personal message yet because I am new and Tumblr deficient 😅 But I hope you like the scenario ^-^ thanks for the request 💜

Here for Part 2

Summary: Juggling two guys and getting everything you want from them has always been easy for you, and Taehyung and Jungkook are no exception. Or so you thought.

Trigger warnings: Mentions of non-con, assault, cheating, violence.

Yandere! Taehyung

Yandere! Jungkook

Sunday.  Taehyungs day.  

You open your webcam, checking your eyeliner quickly in the startup view as you wait for the Tae to pick up on the other side. He pops up quickly a beaming smile filling his face.  

“Y/n! Baby, I’ve missed you.” He’s radiant. As happy and as bubbly he always is. 

You go along listening to him excitedly run through his past few days, telling you everything in excruciating detail as he jumps from one half-finished thought to another. He may be an adult but he certainly has a young soul. The whole while you feign attention, your fingers continually fidgeting with the diamond necklace or the matching bracelet he had sent you a few weeks back.

“How was your weekend?”  He finally gets around to asking. 

“Not so good. I always have to work so much," You complain, batting your eyes at the camera.  

“You could always quit and come live with me.” He jokes-but not really. It’s a topic he has raised 3 times already.  And you have the same answer ready as always. 

“Daddy, you know I’m a strong and independent woman. I could never let someone else pay for me.” You pout, running your tongue over your lower lip while pushing your chest up a little to draw attention.  “It’s just my rent is so expensive. I feel like I work just to pay the bills.” 

In truth, your rent is already being covered by someone else.  But he doesn’t need to know that. 

While you continue to run through the fabricated details of your weekend, Taehyung is distracted, looking down at his phone.  You know what's happening. It’s like a game. And you’re winning. Your banking app sends a notification, letting you know that K. Taehyung has just sent you a payment. 

You open it up. Yep. That's rent for the month.  Or more, money for that new TV you wanted.  

“Oh! Daddy, noo.” You whine down the camera. “You can’t.  I am okay. Really. Please don’t spend your money on me.” You frown if only to stop the smile that is fighting to fill your face. 

“I want to baby. I have the money, and I just want you to be happy. Don’t stress about bills okay. I’m here.” 

Sometimes, it’s almost too easy.  

“Okay Daddy, if you insist.”

Tuesday.  Jungkooks day.  

With Jungkook it’s a much more straightforward transaction.  He has said he wants to pay for you and he hates the back and forth pretences.  He just wants you to say thank you, smile pretty, and give him all your attention.  

“Do you need anything more for the week?” He asks through the camera.

“No Daddy, you take such good care of me. Thank you.” You smile. 

“You still have the weekend of the 14th off?” He raises his eyebrows suggestively.  Off-screen you quickly scan through your calendar.  

14th, 15th and 16th: Jk weekend.  

Hmm, that came up quicker than you expected. You try to keep your booty calls with them as far apart as possible. 

“Of course, I’m so excited! I haven’t seen you in weeks.” You say, it been less than 100% truthful.

“Months.” He corrects with a surreptitious undertone.  

“Where are we staying this time?�� 

You always insist to stay in hotels. Because ‘your apartment feels too busy and mundane, and you want the time you spend with him to be magical and undistracted’. Honestly, you just don’t want him, either of them, in your personal space. You purposefully chose boys who live a few hours away.  It’s hard enough to keep them separated in your everyday life with them being far away. It could only get messy for them to know where you live and how to reach you in person.

You’ve certainly gotten smart at this. Arranging the two men into different days of the week, scheduling them into your calendar to keep them apart and unaware of the other. Both had specifically said very early on that they do not want to share you with anyone else.  And that you were all theirs. And while both of them seemed to trust you, you knew their reactions would be unpleasant, to say the least, if they found out about the other. 

Sugar Daddies can be so possessive. 

But while both these men are very handsome, money is better and more reliable than boys. And if they are stupid enough to spend it all on you, why should you care.

The week passes quickly and it’s the 14th.  Once more you find yourself in the lobby of a 5-star hotel. Jungkook arrived in town early and sent you a message with the room number. 

Time to actually work for your money. 

You knock on the door only to find it slightly open.  Entering there is a trail of rose petals lining the floor leading into the suite. All the lights are dimmed with a warmth of candlelight filling the room. This is so typically Jungkook. Pulling out all the stops to try to impress. 

Dropping your bag at the entrance, you close the door behind you and explore inwards.  

“Daddy?” You call out in a singsong voice. Your heels clack on the tiled floor as you round the corner into the living room. Jungkook is sitting on the lounge, one leg crossed over the other, arms rested up over the back. You smile at seeing him. You always seem to forget just how stunning he is in person. 

“Which one of us are you referring to?” A deep voice startles you from behind. You jolt, spinning to see Taehyung standing behind you leaning against the wall.  

Holy fuck. 

Your mind starts to jumble through what is happening. Thinking about what it was that might have given you away. Evaluating how much they may know. And planning your next move.  

Damn it.  You doubt you’ll be able to smooth talk your way out of this with Jungkook. He’s too direct and absolute. So you’ll just have to accept that that relationship is over. However, you might be able to salvage this situation with Taehyung if you play your cards right. Being defensive should do the trick.

“What is this?” You snap, keeping focused on Taehyung. “This is such a violation of my privacy! You keep smothering me Taehyung! See this is why I tried to find someone else to hang out with.” You stomp your foot. He would always wrap around your finger so quickly with the little girl act. 

“Ha!” He blurts out a short laugh in contradiction to how you expected him to react. “Wow. No, go on. I want to see where this is going.” 

“Do you think we only just found out about each other?” Jungkook pipes up, coming from the couch. 

You sigh. You had almost saved enough for a holiday to the Maldives too. But they seem to know too much. Fine. You can burn both relationships. They were starting to get too clingy anyway.  “Whatever.” You roll your eyes. You got all you could from them. Time to move on to the next.

As you shrug them off, Taehyung steps into the path of the front door. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Both he and Jungkook start to close in tighter. There is a cold tone to his words. Something far too close to a threat for your comfort. Even in heels, both men naturally stand taller than you which usually wouldn’t bother you. But with an unsteadiness to your footing and a very short dress on, in a dark room with two men you have used and spurned, you are feeling even more vulnerable than you feel you should. 

“Move.” You order. 

A smirk on his lips, Taehyung lifts his hand up and backhands you, knocking you back a few stumbled steps. You gasp, your hand clinging to your cheek, eyes wide in shock. He starts forward, Jungkook intervening, standing between the two of you. 

You can not believe he just hit you! He has never done anything like that before.

“No, don’t do that.” He stops Taehyung as he starts to swing again.  Shaking all over, you’re relieved that one of them is seeing sense.  You take the outstretched hand of Jungkook, lip trembling from the burn on your cheek. He draws you closer and you wrap into him for protection. In the same motion, his free hand swings down punching you in the stomach, doubling you over, dropping you to the floor. “If you hit her head, she might get spaced out. I want her to feel this.”

His words send a chill down your spine. This can not be happening.

“Are you crazy!” You gape, trying to speak while gulping down air. Your head is dizzy, your lungs burning.  Kicking off your heels for better movement, you climb back up to your feet not wanting to engage either man. Eyes focused you look past Taehyung to the door, storming forward. “I’m leaving. We’ll forget all of this, okay.” You bargain through short, panicked breath. 

Taehyungs large hand slams you into the wall, pressing his palm against your shoulder. He follows Jungkooks lead, pounding his fist into your gut. And then again. And again.  His hold removes letting you free and you plummet to the ground, crying within broken huffs while cradling your battered torso. 

“You’re right. That is better.” He laughs at Jungkook. 

“Stop!” You beg, unable to raise your voice above a soft yelp. 

“What's wrong baby? You wanted two men. Now you have them.” Taehyungs bright smile returns to his face. This time with an entirely different meaning than it had ever had until it shifts into a straight, harsh look that you have never seen from him. “Didn't you always say you wished there was some way you could repay me?” 

“You said that to me too.” Jungkook joins his side, both hovering above you, trapping you between them, the wall, and the floor. 

Leaning down Jungkooks hand follows you as you squirm away from him. His fingers wrapped around your throat and lift you up, keeping you against the wall. He takes advantage of you being stuck, leaning into you pressing his lips to yours as you resist as much as you can. 

“Baby, you’re going to pay us back for every dollar we spent on you.” He snarls. 

Taehyung turns your face to him, also forcing a kiss on you. “Don’t worry, Y/n, you’ll see that we know how to share.”  

Part 2

[ayamturd]

enough│dream team

summary: y/n is overwhelmed and hits a breaking point. luckily, her boys are always there for her.

warnings: angst to fluff, light cursing

pairing: real-life platonic!dream team

a/n: was trying to write comfort drabble but got carried away, oops— pls feel free to comment or give feedback!

wc: (1.4k) - m.list

Falling face-first onto the safe haven of your couch, you felt as if you could cry from exhaustion. 

Today was long, longer than usual. From pulling an all nighter to barely finish the analysis essay you put off to the very last minute, struggling to understand the notes in most (if not all) of your online classes, to the torturous hours at work dealing with difficult coworkers and harsh customers, to say you were emotionally, physically, and mentally drained was an understatement. 

Despite the numerous assignments you knew were waiting to be completed, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. The stress of simply worrying about them was already enough to drown your thoughts as you smothered your face into the pillow cushions. Before the raging thoughts could continue to ring though, the discord notification quietly broke the empty space, the phone being previously thrown somewhere on the floor. 

The bright screen blinded you as you brought the phone towards your face and answered the call with blurred eyes. “Hello?”

“Aye, nice to know you’re not dead!” What?

“Sap, what the hell do you want?” The lack of sleep was present in your quip tone. You probably would have apologized upon realizing if you could think straight. 

“Geeez, no need to get all upset. Was just wondering if you were still planning on joining the stream.” 

“Stream? What stream?” As if answering your own question, you pulled the phone away to check the date and sat up in slight panic. Fuck. “Shit! I didn’t realize that was today, I thought it was still Thursday!” 

Sapnap laughed, but it didn’t help calm your nerves at all. “Honestly, you’re fine. We were just wondering what happened since you weren’t answering any of our messages.” You scrolled through the boys’ messages from the past hour asking where you were. 

“Ahh, but still, I’m so sorry. I just got home but let me set up and I’ll be there in the next five minutes or so.” 

“You sure? It’s fine if you don’t wanna, s’just a chill stream while we speed run and shit.”

“No, no, it’s fine. I promised and haven’t hung out with you guys in a while anyway.” Rising slowly from the couch, you stretched with a groan and headed to your bedroom to quickly change into something comfortable. 

“Alright, nice. I’ll tell the guys, see you then.” You hummed a bye and closed your phone. Slipping out of your dirty uniform and putting on something loose, you collapsed into your office chair and turned on your monitors. You weren’t in the greatest mood if you were being honest with yourself, but you would feel bad if you fell through with plans and didn’t want to disappoint anyone. You tried to force down any negative thoughts before entering the call.

“—eorge! What?!” Clay’s signature yell practically made your ears bleed when adjusting the headphones on your head. You were quick to turn down the volume. 

“What are you idiots up to now?” you asked, letting the boys know of your presence.

“Y/n! glad you finally decided to join us!” George remarked. You could hear the stupid grin on his face while loading up the game, and scowled at your screen as if he could see it. “Shut it, Gogy. I was busy and it slipped my mind.”

“Mhmmm, suuure. You totally weren’t ignoring us for the past hour or so.” The cheeky little bitch.

“Hey, just cause the girls you hit up don’t respond doesn’t mean every girl in the world is ignoring you!” 

You could hear Clay wheeze as George and you began your usual bickering. Wanting to entertain their streams, you tried to interact and talk with each of the boys as much as possible, but you felt the high of speaking with friends significantly drop as the night continued on. 

The events of the day and the sensitive thought of meeting expectations and your inability to do so were starting to creep onto you. Even your game play was off as you died the fifth time in a row within the first 3 minutes again; the growing frustration made you tear up and get more angry at yourself. Who sucks at a block game and starts crying about it?

You didn’t realize you had gone silent until Clay called your name. “Yeah, Dream?”

“I ended the stream a few minutes after George and Sap, no need.” Oh. You must’ve spaced out and not noticed. When did George and Sapnap end stream? 

Letting out a sigh, you responded, “my bad Clay, I wasn’t paying attention.” 

George began speaking. “You okay tonight, y/n? It’s been awhile since we last actually talked and you got pretty quiet at the end there. I thought you were afk at first but could hear your keyboard.”

“I’m good, just tired.” You struggled to make a smile, barely convincing yourself as is.

“I don’t know, even when you’re tired, you’re not dead silent and completely zone out.”

“Yeah, what’s up with you today? I know you said you were at work but it’s not like you to forget things completely.”

“Plus you weren’t really fighting back that last argument. I know I’m amazing at Minecraft but I didn’t expect you to—“ You let out a stuttered breath and choked back a sob at their words, the heavy weight of the day finally crashing on you. 

You could hear George try to apologize for something he could have done to upset you and swallowed your silent hiccups to respond. “Don’t, George. Please. Trust me when I say you didn’t do anything wrong.”

The call went silent before Clay spoke up. “Then what is wrong, y/n? You can’t tell us something isn’t bothering you, we just want to help.” Now that opened the floodgates. Your breathing became irregular as more tears came into view. If the boys were talking, you couldn’t hear anything they were saying. You felt awful for forcing them to listen to you cry your emotions out, but Sapnap was quick to softly console you when you pathetically began to repeat broken sorry’s.

Eventually your sobs became sniffs as you calmed yourself while listening to George tell you to breathe in and out. The call became relatively silent once more.

“I’m so sorr—”

“Y/n,” Clay firmly stated, “never say sorry for something that isn’t your fault. You’re okay, okay?” You sniffed and nodded to his words, replying with a soft okay.  

“What’s wrong, y/n?” George was more gentle then before, him trying his best to comfort you in comparison to his joking manner. 

“I— I’m just so tired. Tired of school, t—tired of work, tired of trying to keep up with everything. I feel like I can’t breathe and it hurts. A—and I can’t help but hate myself for not being able to keep up with my own responsibilities and shit. I just, why am I not good enough?” The pause of silence was deafening and you looked desperately at the boys’ icons for an answer before screwing your eyes shut. 

Clay was first to respond. “Y/n, I know that right now everything feels hard and stacked up against you, but please trust me when I say it gets better. I know you said it’s been hard to breathe but you have to let yourself. You shouldn’t hate yourself for not being able to keep up, it’s just a sign you need to step away and give yourself a break. You’re not alone, okay? I’m here, George is here, S—“

“I’m here,” Sapnap interrupted. Clay let out a murmured groan while George scolded him for talking. “Oh, uh, sorry…” You giggled slightly.

“What I’m sure Clay was trying to say before is, you have us to back you up, alright? Struggling to take on your own responsibilities isn’t something to feel alone in, everyone needs support and we’ll always be yours. You are good enough. You’re too good for your own good that you won’t let yourself see it.” They collectively chuckled at George’s words. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”

You slowly nodded while still grasping everything they said, a warmth replacing the shuddered breaths as you exhaled. “I do, yeah.” You couldn’t help but feel touched by their attentiveness and genuinely smiled. “Thank you guys, for listening and calming me down. It means a lot.”

“Course, y/n.” Sapnap reassured. “We love you and all that shit.”

“I love you guys and all that shit too.”

[luminari-mc]

My Human, My Sunshine - Part 1

Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort.

Pairing: GN!MC x Mammon

Word count: 5194

Summary: Mammon finds himself lost in the human world. Meanwhile, MC can't get ahold of Solomon, their phone dead silent.

Warnings: N/A

A/N: My first writing piece for Obey Me! It's kind of a long one so I recommend you grab a snack or two during it. While this part is occupied by a good amount of text messages between Mammon and someone else, I'm already thinking of writing a part 2 which will have way more dialogue. In the meantime, please enjoy this little scenario I came up with after listening to a song that set me in an angsty mood. :)

______________________________________________________

Wet. Cold. Exhausted. And completely lost.

Mammon felt all of those, and yet, his legs kept on marching into the dead of night, his jacket covering his head despite being too drenched to protect him from the rain anymore. Each time a droplet of water came rolling on his cheek, his wrist would come to brush it off, and Mammon would let out an annoyed groan. If only there were any shops open, but the city was definitely asleep. He was thankful for the crashing sound of the rain on the ground around him, along with the smell of the wet asphalt keeping himself awake, otherwise, he surely would have gone crazy by now. The demon had even lost count of how many hours he had been wandering through the streets, how many mailboxes he had checked, how few passersby he had come across, only to receive negative answers to his questions.

And so Mammon kept on walking, not sure where to go next. But he felt sure of one thing: he wouldn't stop moving until he had found what he was looking for. Be there rain, or no rain. Lost or not.

"Tch, the human world's weather really sucks..."

As he walked on the pavement, his brow furrowed from the lack of new clues as to where his destination was supposed to be. His eyes caught sight of a bakery he had already walked by earlier during the day, its gentle light piercing the darkness that had been accompanying him for far too long now. Mammon's brow furrowed slightly at the sight- he knew he had gone in circles time and time again, but seeing it confirmed once more rubbed him the wrong way. Despite that, he decided to walk towards it, and took shelter under the entrance's porch. Surely the owners wouldn't mind him checking his phone for a few minutes, right? Right.

Pinching between his fingers the precious D.D.D. he had tucked under his shirt to protect it from the rain, Mammon looked at the map again. His stomach dropped for the upteenth time upon seeing the address still showing in his search bar, the letters and numbers taunting him. A knot formed in his throat as he tried his best not to scream at his screen.

"It wasn't there, you idiot..."

His mouth formed into an angry pout. Mammon looked into the list of potential addresses he had made throughout the day, and all had been crossed out. He felt his jaw clench- not only was he left with no addresses, no other clues, no humans to help him, but also that stupid rain surely would keep on falling for the rest of the night.

He was truly cursed.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do now?!" Mammon groaned, his free hand reaching upward to grab at his hair in frustration.

Yes... that was a good question. What was he supposed to do? It wasn't like he could ask help from any of his brothers, or from the angels. It had already been a miracle a witch he knew accepted to snuck him into the human world without anyone knowing, but there was no way he'd get any more help from her without offering his own life in exchange. And contacting Solomon was absolutely out of the question, for his own obvious reasons that he still was suspicious of the guy.

For the longest time in a while, Mammon felt alone. More alone than he had ever been before. He had promised himself to go on this search on his own, stupidly thinking that it'd be over by the end of the day, and look where that got him. Lost in the human world, on the verge of catching some nasty human virus from all this rain that had poured on him, and without anyone by his side.

The grip on his phone tightened, the hand holding it shaking slightly as the anger was starting to consume the demon. Even Mammon's patience had its limits, and he was starting to reach it.

"Dammit, where the hell are ya-"

A pathetic yelp escaped his mouth as he looked in fear at his phone, which had buzzed for a very short second in his palm. Wait, was it a notification? But from who? He had taken all the necessary precautions before leaving, so who was still able to reach his number?

His mind ran through all possibilities as he quickly checked his screen, the name of the sender making him open his eyes wide.

Leviathan: Mammon!!

Leviathan: Where are you???

Leviathan: You promised me you'd play this new game with me after coming home from RAD, don't tell me you forgot?? It's been HOURS.

Leviathan: Also the others say they can't reach your DDD and Lucifer is seriously pissed!

Leviathan: And I know you didn't break your DDD, that wouldn't explain why I can send texts now and the others still can't. Even though mine didn't work before.

Leviathan: But do you know how much time and effort it took me to find a way to bypass a blocked number?? Well guess what, the same amount of hours since you broke your promise!

Leviathan: You're reading this, right? Then send something! Anything!

Mammon backed even more into the porch of the shop, his eyes stuck to the screen of his phone. All of the blood rushing to his head suddenly made him forget he was cold in the first place. Of course Levi would be the first to find a way to contact him.

The demon's chest rose as he breathed in heavily, his hands slowly wrapping around the phone. It took him a hot minute to get ahold of his trembling fingers so as to not make any typos, his mind debating whether responding was a good idea or not, even as he hit the send button.

Mammon: Sorry Levi, gonna have to postpone the gaming session.

Mammon: I got business elsewhere and I'm not sure when I'll come back home, if ever.

Leviathan: Ew stop sounding so gloomy, you're almost starting to sound like me and tbh it would be kinda creepy.

Leviathan: That still doesn't tell me where you are! I know it's like a common thing for you to get into shady stuff on a regular basis but even Lucifer seems concerned, and weirdly enough he's not even trying to hide it???

Leviathan: He's been pacing back and forth in the common room for 20 minutes and won't let go of his phone it's starting to creep me out.

Leviathan: Hey huh, if you really were in big trouble you'd let us know, right? Like, even by typing a secret message to let us know that you got kidnapped or whatever?

Leviathan: Nevermind, I really don't see why you'd even get kidnapped, so it HAS to be that you chose to disappear by yourself.

Leviathan: But anyway! It's been 2 months now since everyone's been acting weird and I've seen and heard you enough to CLEARLY see that you're getting worse but finding trouble with witches or whatever won't help you feel better. And yes I know you've been faking being fine the entire time!! Don't think you can fool me!!

Leviathan: Believe me and the hundreds of figurines I bought!! I thought they'd help and it's somehow doing nothing, I feel like the worst fraud of an otaku EVER!!! How can I call myself an otaku when I can't even find joy anymore in the things that make an otaku what he is??

Leviathan: It's like I'm losing my identity! Wait no screw that, it's not just me, we've all been losing it!!

The three dots of a message being typed disappeared and reappeared, and Mammon couldn't do anything but watch the messages of his brother pop up one after another on his screen. A sense of guilt surfaced inside of him, and it only made him frown. It's not as if he hadn't thought about asking Levi for help, before getting himself into this mess... but for both of their sakes, he had decided that it had to be him coming here, and only him.

But suddenly, just as he expected his brother to send another message, the three dots disappeared, and didn't come back right away. Mammon's focus on his phone increased at the unexplained absence of new texts from Levi, and he waited, expecting him to continue the chain of messages he had started. But nothing followed.

It wasn't in Levi's habits to suddenly stop texting in the middle of a flood of texts. The demon gripped his phone tighter, worry beginning to grow within his mind. Was it because they were in different worlds that their phones couldn't reach properly? Or worse- had Lucifer found him out?

His heart almost skipped a beat as the three dots reappeared under his eyes, before letting another message pop up.

Leviathan: wait

Leviathan: waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait

Leviathan: OMG NO WAY

Leviathan: MAMMON TELL ME YOU'RE KIDDING

Mammon: I literally haven't said anything?

Leviathan: YOU PERFECTLY KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT

Leviathan: DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE IN THE HUMAN WORLD RN??

Shit.

How did he even find out?! Well... he could only assume that it wouldn't take a genius to figure out where Mammon could have gone if not anywhere in the Devildom, but still, why did Levi have to type it out? His plan was supposed to be flawless after all.

Mammon: Sorry bro, I can't say where I am.

Mammon: I know Lucifer's bound to check all of your DDDs sooner or later and that's only gonna help him find me.

Mammon: And like I said, I have something to do, so I can't come back.

Leviathan: Wait! I'll delete all of our messages, and I'll even destroy my DDD if it means you tell me why you're there

Leviathan: Actually no don't even answer, there can only be one reason you took that kind of risk

Leviathan: Is it... because of MC?

Upon reading their name again, Mammon felt his stomach sink. The eyes of the Avatar of Greed closed almost instantly as if to avoid reading it, the damp air whistling through his teeth as he breathed in deeply. Of course Levi would figure that out too. Any of his brothers could have.

The demon leaned his head against the wall behind him, his eyes opening and staring into nothing as he contemplated telling Levi about his plan. It wasn't as if he had any backup plans considering the situation he was in, after all. And Levi had the advantage of being at home, and having access to technology and magic that could improve his search further. But the thought of Lucifer figuring everything out still haunted him, making the hair on his skin stand straight.

And yet... At this point, he had nothing else to lose.

Mammon: Ya gotta promise not to tell anyone about this.

Leviathan: Who do you take me for? I'm not a snitch!

Leviathan: Especially if it's about MC.

Leviathan: But huh... what about Lucifer? You know that if when he finds out you went to the human world, he's going to kill you.

Mammon: Fuck Lucifer.

Mammon: I'm tired of hearin' him say he's "taking care of it". He clearly knows something but won't tell any of us and I'm tired of not getting any news from MC since they left the Devildom 2 months ago.

Mammon: And what's with his excuse about them not havin' their DDD anymore to contact us? I call that a load of bullshit.

Mammon: Something weird happened and Lucifer's too stuck-up to let us know what it is.

Mammon: So I'm done waiting around to see when they'll come back, or IF they'll even come back. So I'm going to get them myself.

Mammon: Problem is, I went to MC's place, and they weren't there. Their neighbor told me that they moved out a while ago with, get this, "a guy with white hair".

Leviathan: ??????? Solomon?????

Mammon: I'd bet my Demonio and all the things I possess that it's him.

Mammon: Not only Lucifer's in on this secret thing about MC, but Solomon too. I've already booked him an appointment with my fists if he did anythin' to them.

Mammon: Hell, even Diavolo and Barbatos seem to be in it too, which sucks even bigger time.

Mammon: So that means it's just us 6 who don't know shit. I wasn't about to play nice and dumb for Lucifer any longer.

Leviathan: Mammon

Leviathan: I never thought I'd ever write something like that to YOU

Leviathan: but

Leviathan: you sound super cool rn!! That just makes me wish I could have gone too!!

Leviathan: Pleasepleaseplease let me help!!! I'm also worried about MC and I miss having them here. The atmosphere at the house has sucked ever since we realized we couldn't text or call them anymore and I huh... kinda miss seeing them around the others too.

For a split second, Mammon considered taking a screenshot of Levi's last message to sell it as "the proof that the Avatar of Envy can control his jealousy!", but now wasn't the time for that. He had Levi's approval for helping him find the whereabouts of MC, and that's all he needed at the moment. He hadn't even noticed his lips turning into a small grin upon reading his brother offering his support.

Mammon: Alright Levi listen.

Mammon: All I'm tryin' right now is to find where MC might be.

Mammon: I don't think they left the place I'm at, but I ain't about to search at every damn house there is here. Would take too much time anyway.

Mammon: So can ya use your shut-in powers and figure somethin' out? Like I don't know, catch their human phone's signal or whatever through hacking?

Leviathan: Lol? I'll let you know it's not because I spend my entire days in my room that I know how to find a human phone!

Leviathan: I know how to hack yeah, but I don't know how to hack human technology! Not that I maybe tried once or twice and it resulted in failure each time.

Leviathan: But huh... I could try?

Leviathan: Let me ask Satan if we could use magic too.

Mammon: Satan? Levi, are you stupid? Last thing we want is to get more people to know about what I'm doing.

Leviathan: Oh huh yeaaaah, about that.

Leviathan: I should have told you sooner, but when I stopped answering earlier it's because Satan caught me texting you.

Leviathan: But he actually knew you had left to the human world! So we don't have to worry! He's on our side... obviously.

Mammon: Then the two of you get on it.

Mammon: And don't catch Lucifer's attention.

Leviathan: Yeah!

Leviathan: I'll let you know when we've found something.

Leviathan: BRB!

And then just like earlier, Levi's texts stopped appearing on his screen. A sigh left Mammon's lips as he closed his eyes, and the demon allowed his body to slide against the wall behind him until he was sitting on the ground. As he stretched out his sore body, the second-born finally realized that after two whole months of not getting to hear MC's voice, seeing their smile, getting to touch them... he had gotten closer to finding them, all thanks to his brothers. He had let Lucifer's intimidation get the best of him throughout all this time, but not anymore. No matter whether his older brother would catch wind of where he was, and what he was doing, Mammon would never stop trying to bring back MC where they belonged. With him, in the Devildom, back with the family they had found and grown to love.

Closing the messaging app with his thumb, the picture of MC he had set as his D.D.D. background seemed to radiate like the sun. How dared them all try to separate his human from their first man? From the one who'd they come to whenever they had a nightmare and couldn't fall asleep? The demon who'd hug them as tight as possible in their bed after a long day at RAD? The one who'd had the chance to fall asleep with them, getting the absolute honor of seeing their face so close to his, and who'd protect their dreams from any bad thoughts and scary nightmares?

The anxiety that Mammon had worn on his face all day slowly disappeared, and a small smile was placed upon it instead as his eyes met MC's in the picture.

"I'm almost there. Ya just gotta be patient a little more."

I'll find ya.

Time went on as Mammon waited for any news of Levi and Satan's research. The rain showed no sign of clearing soon, and the demon was starting to doze off after spending his entire day without taking a single break. He could have almost fallen asleep if it hadn't been for the owner of the bakery opening the door to close his shop and asking him to sit somewhere else. So Mammon moved from one spot to another, and took shelter near another store instead.

After what seemed like an eternity of waiting on the stone steps he had sat on, his phone's screen flashed a bright light as a new notification from Levi appeared from the top. Quickly passing his wrist on his tired eyes, Mammon tapped on the new message at the speed of light. The contents made him gasp, and for a second, he had almost forgotten how to breathe, as his now wide-open eyes were glued on the content of the message.

A full-on address, along with a picture of the place.

Mammon instantly stood up at the sight of the picture, the memories of his day resurfacing in a flash. He remembered very clearly seeing this particular building sometime during his search- its height had been making it stand out very easily amongst the other buildings in the city. Nobody couldn't mistake it with anything else.

Mammon: This is it?

Leviathan: Yeah, we placed down a map and confirmed it was there.

Leviathan: Satan actually found a book in his room with a spell that can help find a person's specific item with just some of their DNA.

Leviathan: So we went to MC's room and found some hair that Satan used for the spell, along with his phone so it could narrow down the list of MC's items.

Leviathan: I didn't think Satan's room could look even more of a mess, but he spent 10 minutes shoveling through his collection and now you can't even see the floor or his bed anymore lol

Leviathan: Anyway now that you got what you wanted, go and check if MC is there!

Mammon felt his legs move on their own as he flipped his jacket above his head and stepped under the rain again, a confident grin now brightly adorning his face as he typed on his phone to reply.

Mammon: Thanks Levi. I'll owe ya one.

Leviathan: Find MC and bring them back. Then you can consider us even.

Mammon nodded, a newfound hope filling his entire body and mind. After confirming that Levi had ceased texting him, the demon turned the phone off. He opened his hand to drop it on the wet floor, and let his right foot crash down upon it, the object almost breaking in half. Mammon promptly gathered in his hand the shattered item, now completely unusable, and threw it down a nearby sewer before letting his excitement take the best of him and sprint further in the direction of the building from the picture. At least, now Lucifer wouldn't be able to track him down with it if Levi and Satan got caught.

The more distance he covered, the more Mammon could swear he was about to take on his demon form at any moment. The thoughts of MC began to fill his head even more, as if they were the one pushing him to find them, to get to them as soon as possible. For the first time in 2 months, Mammon felt truly alive.

"Almost there. The Great Mammon's coming for ya, MC!!" he let out in the form of an encouragement to himself, his legs having found their energy again as his form was engulfed further into the city.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Anxiously pacing around the room, their head low and their phone in their hands, MC was growing more and more impatient. They were supposed to receive an update from Solomon about three hours earlier in the form of a phone call, but no matter the amount of messages they'd spent in the hopes of the wizard finally answering them, all they received was a dreadful silence. Grabbing a nearby chair, they let their body fall onto the seat as their fingers typed yet another message. They couldn't really understand how they had come to grow so persistent when it came to getting Solomon to reply to them, but having no other person to talk to ever since they left the Devildom 2 months prior would do that to anyone, they assumed.

'Solomon, sorry, I know I'm sending a lot of texts, but you said you'd visit today and I'm starting to be worried and... honestly a bit lonely. I thought going out today would help, but I just sat in the park for an hour before going back home and not doing much of the day.'

'You were supposed to meet with other wizards today, right? I hope nothing bad happened. But in case you're alright, all I'm asking is just one reply to at least get some sort of human connection. Not that I had a lot of it in the past few months.'

They felt their throat tighten upon writing their last sentence, feeling the frustration spilling out of their own words right back into their face. But who could blame them?

2 months without seeing, hearing, or even texting their friends back in the Devildom. 2 months without receiving a single visit from Luke or Simeon. 2 months spent exclusively with the company of Solomon, who had been acting strange ever since and had made them move out of their home under the excuse that it was to "train them at magic in a more private setting". But more importantly... those had been 2 months without having Mammon around, and MC would lie if they said they hadn't spent several nights crying themself to sleep, wondering how the demon was dealing with their absence.

The memories of their latest departure from the Devildom played in their head like a movie as they placed a hand on their forehead. Everything had seemed alright at the time, with them getting to say their usual goodbyes to the brothers, wishing to see them again once the new year at RAD would start, foolishly thinking that they'd get to spend their time hearing their voices on a daily basis once they were back in the human world. And before they could understand, their DDD had been taken from them, Solomon had been more present in their life than ever before, and for a reason they still couldn't grasp, it was as if the brothers had vanished from their life completely. No news whatsoever. Complete radio silence.

Just thinking back to this period, and how they could have probably caught that something was up as soon as Diavolo asked for their DDD after the brothers had left... it just made them want to puke.

But nothing could make them want to do so as much as the long-awaited reply of Solomon appearing on their screen.

'Hi MC. I'm deeply sorry I couldn't get ahold of you throughout the day. I won't be able to visit you today, since my services are still required here. Besides, it's getting late. I recommend you go have a good night's sleep as soon as possible.'

'If everything goes smoothly, I should be able to come back tomorrow. Then, we'll be able to go walk wherever you want. How does that sound?'

'I need to be going, but I shall wish you a good night. Take care, MC.'

And just as quickly as he had answered, Solomon went silent again. Leaving them in this apartment they had grown to hate, this prison cell he had put them in. A place where no fun could be found for them. MC didn't even bother sending anything else after that.

Their head sunk even lower, until their forehead slowly met with the hard surface of the dinner table. The phone faceplanted onto the wood as MC's hands turned into hard fists, a deep groan shaking the walls of their throat. It was hard not to let the tears escape their eyes, but instead, they opted to punch the table several times as hard as they could, until they felt their anger diminish.

How long was Solomon going to act ignorant towards them? How long was he going to ignore their pleas to get news from the Devildom, anything that would let them know why they couldn't contact the brothers, Diavolo and Barbatos? Even if the lords had been in some sort of trouble... they'd still find time to talk to their human, right? There was no way Mammon, the one they loved, wouldn't try to reach them one way or another... right?

Him who had been so clingy in such an adorable way every time they'd be at the House of Lamentation, he who had revealed to them that there wasn't a single day where his thoughts wouldn't drift to them no matter how hard he tried...

No. No amount of important duties would explain why Mammon of all demons, would ignore them like that.

They missed his antics. His entire being. The warmth he'd bring them each time he'd hold their hand before tucking his face into their neck like a pouting child, desperately trying to sneak one or two kisses in there, in the hopes he'd get to hear that sweet giggle of them. It wasn't for nothing that Lucifer had come to name them the chaotic duo of the House of Lamentation. They were two parts of a whole.

And yet, the world had dared to separate them. And MC was tired, oh so tired of not having their other half near them. The only feeling they had left, was one of pure desperation to see their greedy demon.

"I'm not asking for much... even a single word would do." MC replied to no one as they turned their head to rest their cheek onto the table. They closed their eyes, the anger slowly being replaced by a profound exhaustion. Could they really do nothing but act normal around Solomon, and accept that this was now their new life? No demons, no angels, just... humans around them?

Before they could slap the thought away, a loud banging coming from the entrance door made them straighten in their seat, their head turning towards the hallway in a panic. Their heart pounded inside their chest as the banging seemed to go on forever, until they used the back of their chair to push themself up, their legs shaking.

"S...Solomon?" They asked, way too silently for anyone to hear, and fully knowing that the person behind the door couldn't be the wizard.

As if they were waiting for an answer, MC stood there, their hand grasped onto the chair. The banging was insistent, demanding, angry. At this time of night, there were few reasons they could think why someone would mistreat their door in such a way, and MC wasn't sure they wanted to find the reason for it.

That is, until the person behind the door finally let their voice be heard.

"Oi, MC! Ya can hear me right?! Come on, open the door!"

It didn't take long for MC to let the familiar voice enter their ears, and it took less time for them to nearly stumble over the chair as their legs moved in a hurry to lead them towards the door as quickly as possible. Their hands messily trying to open the locks on the door, they were sure their mind had just played a trick on them, and the person outside was going to leave them completely disappointed, but they didn't care. This voice they could only remember so well despite the time since they had last heard it, was simply inviting them to open the door, to check for themselves whether it was true, or just a nasty joke played by their brain.

But as the last lock was undone, and the door was swung open, MC couldn't do anything but just stand there, their mouth agape.

Mammon kept on drawing breaths, his wet hair stuck to his forehead and drops of rain falling from his clothes onto the floor below, so much so that it had started to create a small puddle underneath him. As if the person who opened the door wasn't the one he expected, the demon took a step back, letting his eyes wander up and down on the human he had in front of him, almost in an attempt to check if it was really them. He too, couldn't stop his mouth from hanging open at the sight.

The two of them just stood there for a few seconds, taken by so many emotions at once that they weren't sure what to do. But right as Mammon took a step forward, his mouth opening some more to let out words that he so desperately had wanted to say for so long now, MC's face contorted into one of pure sadness before they rushed towards him. Mammon greedily welcomed them into his arms as they jumped and wrapped their arms around his shoulders, and their legs around his waist. They buried their face into his neck, the warmth of their tears mixing with the rain on his skin.

His embrace only tightened even more as they mumbled his name amidst broken sobs, the sound ever so close to his ear that even though he had his eyes firmly closed, he might have cried on the spot too. But he had found them. He had them in his arms again. After what had seemed like a million years, finally, they were back where they belonged, and he was back with his human.

Almost as if they were about to be pulled away from him, Mammon placed a hand on the back of their head, wanting to protect their entire being from harm no matter the cost. He still wasn't sure why it had taken so long for him to reunite with them despite the obstacles, but at the present moment, nothing else could matter.

The lord had finally found them, and he wasn't about to let anyone interfer between their happiness once more.

"I ain't letting you go." He whispered through gritted teeth, his head lowering into their shoulder. "Ever again."