#I have since then bought a new one so yayyy

[mossiparks]

When I first started animating, I used stop motion to play with timing/fps. It was good practice and fun to play around with especially with puzzles.

[cocteaucherry]

this idea just popped into my head

but what if the reader was a first year, and they liked to call nanami their best friend (like gojo, but less menacing and more understanding and soft ig?) because they enjoyed nanami's reaction and reader was basically a happy little furball until they see a second year, gojo, declare that nanami is his best friend and it basically ends up in small little competitions between gojo and reader on who is nanami's best and better friend, and during those mini competitions and months, they start to realise something about each other and in the end, it ends up turning into gojo tyring to secretly impress reader and reader secretly trying to impress gojo, and nanami is just stuck being in the middle of all that.

this is the cutest concept so here’s what I have! For now I’ll probably make a pt.2

“Come on Kentoo! Why can’t we check out the new crepe shop?” A frown appeared on your face crossing your arms, “I already told you I have a long mission tomorrow.. and knowing you we’ll be out until morning.” He sat against the stone step, his head resting in his hands.

“Uhm.. nu uh..” you said in a teasing tone, you sat on the step next to him poking his cheek with your finger, you had met nanami on your first day attending Jujutsu High. You sat miserably outside having forgotten your lunch in your dorm, this didn't go unnoticed by Nananmi and he very kindly offered to share his. Ever since that day you and Nanami are usually always together.

“Please please please? Just do it for your best friend!” You pleaded clasping your hands together to give him a feigned pitiful look, Nanami knew what kind of game you were playing but his body betrayed him. Anytime you called him your best friend butterflies would erupt in his stomach and his skin would burn causing a blush to spread across his body.

He rolled his eyes trying his best to contain his composure, “F-fine-“ he was interrupted by you hugging him tightly, “Yayyy! Well let’s get inside, it’s chilly,” you exclaimed standing up, Nanami sighed standing up, he walked a bit up the steps opening the door as you stepped through. “So what flavor do you think-“ Your question was interrupted as you were bumped out of the way by a tall figure, “Nanamii! What’s happening?”

A lanky arm was wrapped around his shoulder as Nanami stared annoyingly at the figure, “Seriously Gojo?” He groaned out a very apparent vein popping above his right brow, ah Gojo you’ve heard of him around campus but you didn’t see him.

All of a sudden you felt a glare hit you and it caused chills to radiate down your spine, “Nanamii! Don’t tell me you’re cheating on me?” He pushed his shades down to stare at you, his bright blue eyes glaring marks into you. “Oh no no! He’s just my best friend.” This statement wouldn’t help your argument as a strange grin appeared on his face.

“Ohh? Well I’m sure Nanami could attest when I say I’m his best friend.” The senior snickered as Nanami peeled himself away from Gojo’s grasp, “I can assure you’re not-“ a finger was placed on his lips as the snow white haired boy kept his gaze on you, “As much as I’d like to entertain me and Suguru are going to that new crepe spot,” he bought his finger away to play with the bridge of his glasses. “I’ll see ya later nanamiii and y/n '' he said, opening the door and walking out into ending summer breeze.

He knew your name? But more importantly was the competition bestowed in front of you, nanami saw your face and offered a weak smile. “Don’t mind Gojo.. he’s a little too cocky for his own good.” You turned out his voice, already debating your next move, little did Nanami know a bounty was placed on his head

“Anything he could do I can do better”

Challenge one- Gift Giving

A week later the challenge had begun, you weren’t sure if Gojo had reciprocated the glares you exchanged with him in the halls but you sure had. You decided you needed to go all out, on Nanami’s desk that very morning a bento box wrapped nicely along with some little candies. Coincidentally Gojo had been walking with Nanami to his class, when both their eyes locked on the cutely wrapped lunch various reactions appeared, Kento had confusion and Gojo had confused anger.

“It’s very nice of her don’t you think?” Kento smirked to himself holding up one of the candies, Satoru’s jaw ticked a delayed nod following after. “Yup.. well I gotta get going.” The white haired boy said walking with quickness to get out of that classroom, he stood outside the door pondering his move as he sensed a specific energy pass through the halls.

A pep in your step and a sick smile on your face as you passed by, you glanced up at Satoru giving him a shit eating grin as you turned the corner. A vein popped in his neck as a grin passed on his face, “So that’s how it is..”

“Anything she can do I can do better”

Satoru passed around his dorm In a fitted rage, his anger being experienced by his tired eyed best friend sitting on his bed. “Can you believe she did that? I mean! I didn’t even get to make the first move!” He was upset he didn’t make the first impression. “Satoru.. is it that serious?” Suguru stretched his hands staring at the mini pieces of paper Satoru had him cut and write on, ‘100 reasons why you’re my best friend’. “How many years have we been friends, I’ve never even gotten a hundred reasons.”

“Anytime I try to express any emotion to you I get shunned.” Satoru rolled his eyes, staring at the gift basket he had arranged for Nanami, “I need more ideas.” He groaned, rubbing his eyes. “Can’t believe you’re letting a first year work you up like this, I mean.. shouldn’t you be trying to impress some of our superiors?” Suguru smirked, tapping his fingers on his upper thigh, “well, personally I don’t give two shits about them.. they’re weak.” Gojo mumbled kicking at the wood floor.

“Oh? Is the Satoru Gojo sweating over two first grade sorcerers, never thought I’d see it.” Suguru huffed with a grin.

Satoru’s jaw dropped as he quickly tried to correct himself, “No! No! I’m not!” he exclaimed, sliding his glasses off to thump his head with his own finger. Then a metaphorically lightbulb appeared above his head, “What time does the bakery open tomorrow morning?”

Oh you were pissed, that afternoon you walked with Nanami to the training field carrying his large gifts from this morning, you weren’t able to see the set up but apparently. A blue gift basket was there stuffed with scraps of paper, flowers, candy and about seven different varieties of bread. Kento walked, taking small bites of bread as he walked, the expensive blue name tag hung from the basket and mocked you. “Y/N, I’m telling you it’s not that serious”

But now it was serious Satoru check matted you on the first round, you’ll have to bring your A game to the next challenge Acts Of Service

[merryfortune]

I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do

August 15th: Marriage | Sea Bathing/Beach | Crossover

Title: I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do

Ship: Sideshipping | Anzu/Shizuka

Series: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters

Rating: T

Word Count: 2,191

Tags: Past/Referenced Child Abuse, Fluff and Angst, Hopeful Ending

   It was a little too late to have cold feet about it. 

   Not too late for a divorce, Shizuka reasoned, even though she and Anzu had only been officially married for all of what… two hours? The cake still had its knife in it in case anyone wanted to go for seconds after the bridal dance.

   Marriage was a big, bureaucratic thing. It also seemed like something well way off into a murky future tomorrow that would never actually become today but lo and behold. The bell now tolled for her and her lover, letting half the countryside know that she had become Mazaki Shizuka. 

   The thought filled her with bubbles for a while. Cheery, exciting bubbles of a happier future which was so faraway, it could never happen. Now it just filled her with bile. She felt like she could puke it all up and over her sparkly white shoes bought especially new for the occasion. She could taste everything at the back of her throat, the wedding cake, the main meal, yesterday’s breakfast, whilst she stared at the champagne slowly going flat in her glass. 

    “Are you okay?” Anzu asked. “Not feeling nervous for our big dance, are you?”

   “Oh, um, only a little.” Shizuka lied through her teeth.

   Anzu reached across the head table and placed her hand at the edge of it. She tapped the pristine tablecloth and coaxed Shizuka to place her hand atop of Anzu’s. That’s better. Anzu held her hand, stroked her skin. A tingle went down Shizuka’s spine as she listened to Anzu’s kind words that proceeded.

   “We’ve practised so much, you’ve done so well. We’re gonna stun.” Anzu encouraged her, entirely oblivious to the problems causing the obvious raincloud of Shizuka’s head.

   “Yayyy.” Shizuka weakly replied.

   That was true. Anzu’s words did spark joy - or at least the idea of it. Shizuka smiled sheepishly as she recalled all the effort that had gone into the wedding. The fraught discussions of if it should go ahead at all because of what Shizuka had witnessed as a child during her own parents’ marriage. It lingered but it didn’t lose her completely.

   She knew the sacrament and milestone meant the world of Anzu who was so full of so many dreams and Shizuka wanted to be one of them. So, she said yes with a heart in the right place and full of hope. The mania that followed was stressful but it was fun, too. She felt like the centre of not only Anzu’s world as her bride to be but the whole world’s.

   Shopkeepers bent over backwards for them as potential patrons since weddings meant an even bigger pricetag could be attached to their goods and services. The window shopping and actual shopping for an engagement ring. Cake testing and florist visiting. Dress shopping was the best and the worst, not a moment was spared in the pursuit of perfectly tailored glamour. 

   The result was that this was not a wedding that had happened overnight with little foresight or forward planning. It had been in the works for two years.

   Yet now, for all that preparation, Shizuka wanted to leave Anzu at the altar. Or she should have. She was regretting not doing that now but it would be a waste to spoil a good dress and a banquet and how much money it cost to hire venues and such.

   The sound of squeaky shoes on linoleum alerted Shizuka to the end of her reverie. Anzu looked up and over her shoulder, welcoming Katsuya back to the head table.

   “Hey girls, I mean, ladies,” he said as he held onto the back of Shizuka’s chair to say hi, “I just got done talking with the DJ, you two’s dance is queued up if you want to get ready. Powder your noses or something first.”

   “Thanks, Katsuya.” Anzu said and she glanced at Shizuka. “Do you need anything first?”

   “Er, nope, I’m good!” Shizuka chirped.

   Anzu gave her a big smile, the corners of her eyes crinkled with laugh lines and excitement. Shizuka’s stomach plummeted to the floor and she was taken by the hand, pulled along by Anzu to the centre of the stage. The lights around the dancefloor dimmed as they made their way to the middle of it. Their guests - only their nearest and dearest - whooped and hollered. 

   A wedding was a series of exciting events - the vows, the kiss, the cutting of the cake, and then of course the dance - but as the final one, this one had the most pressure on it to get right. Or wrong and be made a joke of for years to come. Shizuka hoped that it wouldn’t be the latter.

   She had the world’s best broadway dancer to guide her. She also had eight weeks of practice behind her with the world’s best broadway dancer and her favourite choreographer as well. In theory, she should be fine. Even with what felt like thousands of eyes on her, Shizuka took position with Anzu in front of her.

   Anzu’s hands were calm and steady amid the nerves. She was so effortless when it came to her passions, her talents. She worked hard and the rest, she just trusted in that hard work, that it wouldn’t be in vain but Shizuka wasn’t quite so free.

   “You ready?” Anzu asked, her voice a whisper.

   “As I’ll ever be.” Shizuka murmured. She so badly wanted to be sick.

   She had woken up this morning feeling like a princess. On top of the world. Now she felt like the pauper, or more accurately, the pauper who should have been inside of a pauper’s grave. She should have rolled over and pretended today was written off, that nothing of import was scheduled to happen.

   Their music started. Shizuka hazarded a smile. Those opening notes were so comforting and familiar. Even if they heralded the beginning of the choreography, there were so many things to remember and opportunities to make a mistake but this was their song. Or one of them, at least. It was light and silvery and reminded Shizuka of her and Anzu’s first night together in New York. It was Christmas and they went sleighing through the snow. Oh, it was magical.

   Holding onto that memory, with Anzu holding her hand through every motion, Shizuka allowed herself to re-enter her very own wedding. She was spun and twirled, dipped to and fro. Anzu took the “masculine” lead so she could show off her more masterful talents at dancing. She had the whole crowd proud with her moves. 

   Anzu looked so gorgeous as she danced a modernised version of the waltz. She was in her element, sparkling beneath her makeup and well coiffed hair. Her footwork was swift and delicate, the tule of her dress bounced in tune with the music and her movements. It was very clearly the happiest moment of her life.

   And for both herself and for Anzu, Shizuka couldn’t be happier and yet.

   She was still detached from it. Eaten away by her worries, merely going through the motions as though she were the doll inside of a ballerine’s jewellery box, turning on a screw. Not that she minded. The dance was simultaneously an eternity and not long enough as the music began to fade out. She had done it. She had survived dancing with Anzu to conclude the official matters of their wedding.

   It was a weight off. Literally. Shizuka’s shoulders no longer felt quite so sloped as Anzu changed how she held her wife around her waist.

   They paused long enough to take a vow. Katsuya’s voice was boisterous over all, he couldn’t be happier for his sister and his now sister-in-law. It embarrassed Shizuka.

   “Thank you muchly.” Anzu announced. “Please, feel free to enjoy more food, the music, let’s party until dawn!” She split into laughter.

   But Shizuka wasn’t.

   And that popped up on Anzu’s radar. Shizuka didn’t know if that was an “oh no” moment or a “finally” moment. Either way she felt guilty as Anzu readjusted herself. The music changed to more upbeat party songs to coax people onto the dancefloor. 

   “Hey, um, is everything okay?” Anzu asked quietly.

   She took Shizuka by her hands again, propping them up on Anzu’s shoulders and Shizuka let it happen. The distance between them, with Shizuka’s elbows locked, made them look like middle schoolers leaving a ruler’s worth between them. It was kind of silly. Especially as, together, they bopped along to a Top 40 favourite from twenty years ago. Shizuka stared at her feet though as they did so as she mulled over Anzu’s question. Anzu waiting patiently, not pressing it as they were in public and if Shizuka was close to a melt down, neither would want that as they were the centre of attention.

   “Well, um, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.” Shizuka mumbled half way through the song.

   They drew in closer to one another. They were more romantically chest to chest whilst remaining appropriate for a wedding. Shizuka absorbed Anzu’s bodily warmth, deeply breathed in her pretty perfume and sighed.

   “I want a divorce.” Shizuka announced.

   Anzu snorted in disbelief, “What?”

   “Well, um, I’m… I’m worried. What if this isn’t such a good idea?” Shizuka rambled. “Like, this whole. Getting married thing.”

   Anzu’s expression softened. She had been ready to cop this as a joke but she could sense from Shizuka’s melancholy that this was really eating her up. Shizuka appreciated the shift as well. She licked her lips and was mindful of the heavy rhythm of how her heart was pounding in her chest.

   “I just remember being so scared of my father as a child.” Shizuka mumbled. “He was awful to me, to Katsuya-nii, and of course to our mother. He drank all our money away, pushed us around. I have no good memories of my parents’ marriage. I know I was so young and sickly but it was quite formative.”

   “Oh, Shizuka…” Anzu breathed, dripping with sympathy.

   She cuddled Shizuka closer. She rubbed Shizuka’s back and it made her arms twitch. They still danced. They slowed down, their footwork was clumsy and they were out of time with the music. To their friends and family, it looked like they were slow dancing. Not having a heart-to-heart as they whispered amongst themselves.

   “What if you start doing that?” Shizuka murmured, her brows furrowed. “What if you lose your job and blame me?”

   “I would never.” Anzu replied.

   “Do you really think I’m so awful?” Anzu asked, head tilted, trying not to be offended.

   “No, not at all!” Shizuka protested. “I think you're wonderful, the best woman in the world and I’m very fortunate to have you but…” Shizuka’s voice trailed off. Her tone of voice was frantic until it fizzled out. She took a breath. “Or, worse still, what if it's me? What if I wake up and start being horrible to you?”

   “Oh, Shizuka, you would never.” Anzu gasped, more offended at the idea of Shizuka turning abusive than her.

   “How do you know?” Shizuka argued, eyes watering. “What if I start drinking and start pushing you around?”

   “You wo-” Anzu stopped herself in her tracks and Shizuka cringed but looked up at her, studying her. Anzu took a deep breath and she nuzzled against Shizuka’s face.

   Shizuka requited the affection. Anzu’s face was soft but chalky with foundation and other makeup. 

   “You're right.” Anzu told her.

   “Huh?” Shizuka blinked.

   Anzu pulled back and shrugged, “I don’t know what will happen in the future. I don’t know what I’ll be like nor what you’ll be like. Anything can and will happens, I could get hit by a truck tomorrow-”

   “Don’t say that!” Shizuka interrupted.

   “That’s rich,” Anzu laughed, “but you get the point, right?”

   “Right…” Shizuka chewed on her reply.

   “Marriage is hard.” Anzu started again, reiterating. “We’ll probably fight, we’ll probably have really boring days and really busy days. We’ll have good ones and bad ones but we’ll make it work, I promise.”

   Shizuka smiled a small smile. The butterflies in her stomach were back but it felt oddly good. Not great but it was fuzzy and hopeful which was good enough for her to deem it, well, good. 

   “Thanks, Anzu,” Shizuka replied, “that… That I can believe. That we can do it, we can put the hard work in.”

   “I’m glad,” Anzu murmured and she leaned in, “but if there are days which are excruciating, which make you want to throw in the towel, there are steps we can take before we get to a point where… where we hurt ourselves or each other, you hear?”

   “I do.” Shizuka replied.

   She tilted her head up and she kissed Anzu on the lips.

   Her lipstick was glossy. Her breath had the tingle of champagne. Shizuka committed it all to memory and took Anzu’s words here more to heart than their actual vows that had been rehearsed many a time in the bathroom mirror. She kissed back and surrendered herself to the idea that perhaps marriage can be a dream of hers as well.

[cherrypeaking]

good morning baby~ 🥺🩵 it's finally friday!! we made it to the end of the week!

this week has felt so long and exhausting yet somehow the time i spend with you everyday feels like it zooms by ;; i wish there were 100 hours in a day so i could spend them all with you 🥺🥺 talking to you everyday isn't enough i need to sleep on your ceiling or live in your walls or something shdjhsg i'm always so thankful for the time we spend together everyday, i love my cherry time so much but lately it feels like i miss you even more than usual >< i didn't even think that was possible!!

speaking of cherry time, while i'm happy i got this new job i'm so scared it's gonna cut into my time with you :( obviously i will always make time for you no matter what bc i love you and while i doubt the tasks i'll be given will be too difficult or time consuming, i always prefer having time with you with little to no interruptions >< i just have to remember that i'm doing this so i can have some quality time with my hot choco fairy in the early winter 🥺🥺🥺🩵🩵 i want to be with you and hold your hand so badly my love ;3; 🩵🩵🩵

since i'm back on my #employedgirl shit, i went to the grocery store and bought stuff for food prep :> i'm gonna start making salads everyday like i used to but i also bought sushi bc i can't resist a good shrimp tempura roll 😩😩😩

i didn't get to do my miniatures today since the day kinda got away from me (i took the world's sweatiest nap i swear dhjshg but the dream i had... 😳😳🤭🤭 i'll have to tell you all about it~) but i'll probably work on it some more this weekend~ every time i look at all the little furniture i have to put together i think about you and how tiny you are 🥺🥺🩵🩵 my sweet baby is so little~

i was thinking about how much you like pretty pink makeup (which is so cuute it's so you~ 🥺🥺🥺) and i saw this 4ce stuff on pinterest at the perfect time <3 pretty pink makeup + pretty pink princess taehyun = ultimate cherrycore 🥺🥺🩷🩷🩷

i'm missing you so much rn my baby love 🥺🥺🥺🩵🩵 i hope you slept well and i hope your shoulder is finally feeling better! i think i'm feeling good to get back into stretching but i have a tendency to push things so i think i'll give myself another day to chill just in case ><

i love you so much my sweet~ i'll always be here for you no matter what! like i always say, as your number one fan i'm rooting for you!! 🥺🥺🩵🩵🩵

i’m so excited for the weekend to be here finally mommy!! 😭😭 just had my gf toast (hehehe 👉👈🩷)

the week felt super long and busy indeed :’) i can’t wait to be done cause i needed a break… i also felt this way, it feels like i miss you even more than usual 🥺🥺 you’re the one i think all the time when i go to sleep 👉👈🩷 if you were on my ceiling or in my walls though i’d want you to come right into my bed instead 🥹🩷

i get that ;; i guess you never know what you have until it’s gone hence why i always made sure to live it to the fullest 🥺🥺🩷 since you were employed when we met i’m sure we will be okay though~ i just hope my mommy is fully well rested for her first day at her new work 🥺🩷 i love you mommy i’m so proud of you 😚

SUSHIIIIII YAYYY 🥹🩷 i get the need to meal prep hehe :3 salads are really nice to make >3< 🩷🩷 i hope you like whatever you make to eat, my mommy’s such a nice cook so i don’t doubt it 🥺🩷

ooooh a dream… 😳🤭🩷🩷 i can’t wait to know what it is about >\\< i’m excited to see a new progress pic cause it already looks so cute >3< i wish i could fit in there so i could be in your hand 🥺🥺🩷

THE MOODBOARD AAAAAH ITS SO PRETTY (but you’re even prettier and more beautiful 😚🩷) i love pink makeup indeed hehe tho i haven’t put on makeup in a while :’3 i really like it 🥺🩷

i missed you so much mommy!! i kept waking up at 3 then 5am i had to force myself to get back to sleep not to feel dizzy during the day but i wanted to talk to you each time i woke up ;; my shoulder is doing fine i think there’s still a sore point… i’ll see if i don’t opt for longer but softer stretches >< if you tend to push a little it’s better to take it easy and get one more day of break mommy 🥺🥺 i don’t want my mommy to get hurt 🥺🩷🩷

>\\\\< thank you mommy i’m always here for you, i love you i’m your number one fan as well 🥺🩷

[spiked-mall-goth]

ummmmm guys. i have had a day let me tell you. super long diary like entry lol

i had to get up early to go see my papa and help him move some furniture, and although i was running on a total of 2 1/2 hours of sleep i was excited. he lives out in the city and its about an hour and a half drive but the highway is completely surrounded by trees so that was a fun ride. listened to lots of music and talked about barbies with my dad. we counted 21 total yard sales on the trip.

got home and ate lunch after unloading some beds. my papa wanted some old twin beds out of his house so we took them home. i have a new mattress now!! which hopefully means far less daily back pain!!

after lunch we decided to go to a few of the yard sales we passed by. and let me tell you i got a HAUL. i got a pair of really nice pajama pants that have little skulls on them, then at the next one they had SO MUCH STUFF!!! like guys.. i got a sweater for 25 cents.. GUYS. i got a little black sweater, a flowy black summer top, a fucking black velvet CAPELET, and the most gorgeous black 80s prom dress; although sadly it does not zip and needs alterations but its WORTH IT!!! it has really big poof sleeves and a massive flower sash omg guys its AWSOME. at the same place i also got a little fake ivy for my kitchen :D it desperately needed a little life, a big ass puzzle to work on with my brothers, and they had MOUNDS of vhs tapes... for FREE. soooo uh yeah. may or may not have come home with like twenty new tapes. oh yeah did i metion that i only paid like a total of six dollars so far?? i made out like a Bandit. final yard sale and the woman was like 'uhhhh $1.25.'. so for a $1.25 i got a peanuts drinking glass (i think from mcdonalds..), the entirety of firefly on dvd, and a ceramic angel. normally i do not go for religious imagery in my decor, but. it was like 102F.. i hadnt slept since my two hour night.. i was severely dehydrated.. heat exhaustion was setting in a little bit.. and i dunno, she just called to me. she reminded me of laura palmer.

okay, so i get home and unload all my of goodies, then i start cleaning my room. i have to disassemble my old bed frame and clean under my bed and shit. i already have a pounding headache at this point but i have schedule to keep. beds gotta be moved b4 tmrrw. so i am FIGHTING trying to get the frame apart, i'm all sweaty and gross and i finally get it!! :D i feel some stuff falling over behind me and b4 i can even look up i get whacked right upside my head loony tunes style with a huge metal beam :( i start feeling kinda funny and i vaguely remember talking to my brother who told me to lie down. i pass out cold and hard on the couch for about an hour. vague memories of seeing something in the room with me. not really important i just think you should know.

wake up to my brothers shaking me to make sure i havent DIED. i lived! yayyy!! ate dinner, and then it was time. i have been looking at this online auction for over a week now and it was ending in a matter of minutes. i did when some some stuff! i got the directors cut of JTHM, revenge of the filler rabbit, and some other comic which i cannot remember rn.. but anyways it was 5 bucks! and then i bought a snoopy wallet for a few dollars. although i did miss out on a clear phone.. so sad. but overall i had a very good shopping day today idk why. everything just like fell into my lap at affordable prices... like wow..

after the auction i still had not moved my new bend in (ya know.. bonk on da head) so i fight forever to get it put together. but yippeee!!! its al here! and i was given a new blanket to put on it which is very soft :3

anyways now im here after showing and watching x files for a bit.

if you read all of that.... wow. ily <3. i normally dont like to just like info dump about my irl daily stuff, but today was just so like action packed it was kinda bonkers. anyways i have to go to bed bc i have more stuff going on tmrrw.... and i honestly might just cancel them.. i am TIRED.

[babykkumaa]

Update #?

So, life been getting a bit better with time but I’m having a hard time making friends (good consistent friends around my age) to the point I’m about to give up the idea. I tried everything but, end up getting treated bad. I had a whole as girl who said she liked me made me her girlfriend then blocked me on everything for no reason so I’m just going back to what I used to be just be better not let people in like that fr bc that last one hurt bc she blocked me right after I opened up to her about what was bothering me bc I struggle with my mental health a lot but it just prove to me that people probably think I’m too much so I’d rather be in my own space. I enjoy my own time on my own then involve people majority of the time. So, if I make friends them I do but, I’m going back to what I used to do.

I finally got the rest of my exercise equipment! Yayyy! I’ve been waiting to getting back to working out consistently since I’ve took a year break bc I went back into recovery for my ED bc I relapsed really bad after a bad relationship. So, I worked on healing my relationship for food. Now, I feel better into going to work out and doing a proper weight training and working out again so I’ll lose weight I gain properly and not be obessive like my last cut 🫶🏼.

I got some oversize clothes to help cope with what I look like currently bc I gain maybe 40-50 lbs I don’t weight myself anymore so I’m not sure. But, I’m hoping new clothes will help with beginning to build my confidence and love myself while I work on building muscle and my cut. The funny part about me gaining weight this time is I still feel pretty some days I have body dysmorphia and grieve over my ED body but I’m overall okay. I’m okay with the fact my body change and I’m happy I have a healthier body. I did take before pictures and I will be working out 5-6 days a week so in about 6 months I’ll see where I’m at if I made progress.

I bought some weights,resistant bands and sweat band to go with my treadmill I got in the beginning of the year so I’m so ready to see how I can transform in a healthier way.

In about a month from now, I’ll be going back to my hometown for two weeks to visit my family which is cool but, atleast I’ll be able to finish school by then bc I am in two summer courses that I have to try finish before I leave in June. So, today I’ll be setting up Notion and beginning my homework I’ll be planking to do a chunk of homework a day and emailing my teacher asking them to give me access to all my assignments before my trip so I start summer vacation early if I can.

Im excited for this summer bc I’ll be going different places hopefully and hopefully volunteering at the library . I’m trying to work at the library as a job until I can graduate and go Into art history job which is 50/50 if they’ll actually hire me 🥲 I am apply for an internships in the fall and planning to graduate in the winter.

But, other then that I’m still trying to complete my goals I had which I got to cross off some but the other half I’m working on still which I’m excited for more positive stuff to happen.

[just-let-me-see-accounts]

???

I spent ages agonising over how I would navigate my medical health before I became 18 (at which point I could schedule my own appointments. Like, I know that I could still do that as a minor with my parent(s) per.issuon but I thought there would still be restrictions, especially concerning money) but my mum is just gonna give me my medical card tomorrow after I briefly mentioned goodrx (which is only tangentially related??) and told me that everything would be free? What??

Like, I can just schedule anything. I could follow up on that proposed blood test to figure out the extent/cause of my anemia. I could go to the dentist. I could get regular check ups (insane. In the past 8-9 years I've only had two check ups).

I recently had an eye exam and am gonna receive two free glasses (plus a third cheap one my mum + grandpa bought for me), but like. I could get an eye exam regularly? Which is pretty damn good since I kinda fucked up with my left eye and when I was looking through that machine it was definitely blurrier in my left than in my right. Plus, obviously my eyes got worse over these past three years, so it'd be great to stay on top of any further changes.

This shit applies to mental health stuff as well. She specifically mentioned that, which I think is her signaling that she does not want to bein charge of keeping up with that. Damn. I could schedule my own appointments and shit. Wow.

Maybe I can buy medication? Obviously I'd have to talk to a psychiatrist to be prescribed anything, but my mum said she doesn't pay *anything* for prescribed medication. I promised myself not to rock the boat too much until I'm 18, though, since last time when I broached the possibility of me being ND and did that surface level test (used to determine if an in depth test is needed), she took me out of therapy (which I will be back in soon thank god! My intake is on the 3rd of October!).

And my mum has expressed that she doesn't want me on medication (she said it isn't safe for a minor. I wonder if her opinion would change once I become an adult. It must eventually, right? She takes medication herself.) so I'm afraid she might. Take away my access to medical stuff.

But like, if she gives me my card, can she even do anything? If she takes it, would I be able to order a new one or smth? She said that she could order a new one if I lose it. Am I entitled to it? I'll have to look into it more.

The possibility of this massive opportunity suddenly being taken away is why I didn't even consider further pursuing ND evaluation or getting a gender therapist. But like, if she can't do anything, I'll definitely do it. I guess that's a "maybe" thing.

Yooo I could get birth control and stop these blasted periods! Neat.

Even better yet, my siblings can get their cards as well and schedule their own stuff. I requested one of my siblings cards as well and she's willing to give me it. I can't make the appointment myself, as I am a minor (which means I can schedule appointments for them when I'm an adult yayyy), but I can help her make an appointment herself. She really needs to see the dentist.

Man. There's just. So many possibilities. I'm definitely gonna look at "common medical screenings/appointments" or whatever to see what I can get looked at for. Now that I have all this medical power I won't allow myself to deal with something I shouldn't have to!!

[beaze11]

6:42 PM 6/7/23

Summer is in full swing

What's new with me? Since my last entry I got tinder, kind of reconnected with my ex, moved away from hayday and reverted back to clash royale. The new little mermaid movie came out and I sobbed for the whole thing. I just love mermaids so much and that has always been my favorite disney princess movie. I was hit with this insane rush of nostalgia. I have always tried to stay in touch with things from my childhood because I don't believe your interests have to change as you grow older. But seeing this movie really made me realize I will never be that person again. Obviously I don't want to be a kid again and I don't behave like a child, but the simplicity and joy that came with being a child is something that cannot be mimicked as an adult.

It's pride month yayyy. My second pride being fully out. My first pride being genuinely in-tune with my sexuality. I really wanted to go to the pride parade this year but I'm going out of town. I bought some discreet ace pins on etsy because I want something that represents that side of me but I can't have my dad finding out. Lucky for me, he has no clue what the ace flag looks like and will probably never come across that information. Multiple people have told me I should try dating women and that I might have a better experience with that. Obviously I've thought about that and would very much love to be in a relationship with a woman but that's SCARY. I am like way more scared to hurt a woman than a man.

I saw paramore live and actually died. I had to call out of work the next day because I felt so sick. I was just feeling such intense emotions and so overstimulated for hours on end. Even when I was young, I always made sure to take a break during concerts but I didn't this time and it had dramatic results.

I also went on a trip with one of my close friends for the first time. Brought out a side of her that I've never seen. She just didn't like this place and showed no interest. I was taken aback because that is literally my favorite place ever and she knew how important it was to me but she just shoved it off. Like don't come on the trip if you're just going to a bitch the whole time. It didn't like affect our friendship or anything, I just won't invite her back. you live and you learn

Currently watching: "how do rich people actually dress?" Mina Le on youtube

[dokiyeom]

DWWW u will see that from now on I'll just pop on ur inbox with random pics or just . rants LMAOOO hihiih do u have maybe dc or twt?? i feel like that would be easier to interact on yk? + i have a little something i wanna show u 🤭 PLS SHARE THEM WITH ME YES!! im such a sucker of ranting about fics & fic ideas with friends istg..

ill try it when I can but i live in a small village so they don't have that here 😞 ill go to the city for uni though so ik ill explore more diff foods since im a big fan of that yk!

mmmm ok ok now ik when to send u an ask 😝 && that's so interesting?? do u still have family there or will u go alone if u move there! tbh france is only cool from a touristic pov 😭 like i could write an essay about how much i hate certain things here it's Awful BUT i do like the museums and more artistic side so yayay OHHH??? HELLO that's so cool i love how u remember only that 🙏🙏 i love tulips they are my fav flowers too 😞💔

TWT THEORIES SAID SO TOO !! that would be a very unique announcement actually ohh :O for my friends 18th bday party another friend lent me a black dress w a v line collar? it was very light and just overall v cute but simple so i might just go for something with the same vibe ngl bit im picky too and i haven't really been able to find clothes i like for a few years rn so it's a bit of a problem 👎

OMG WHAT ALBUMS?????? i want to have the carat bong so bad but ill buy it (for now) if they come here in concert yk & if i can still use v2 for concerts! i hope u soon can get ur carat bong 🙏 omg show me PLS PLS PLS i have one too and i love seeing other people's collections 😞

i have . a lot 😭 rn i have 18 albums with 2 more for my bday...... PREAPRE URSELF. i have aespa girls, astro switch on, atz treasure ep fin all to action, bts love urself answer & proof, enhypen dimension dilemma & manifesto day 1, lsrfm antifragile (I PULLED SAKURA YAYYY), nct dream glitch mode, svt director's cut (THE LUCK I HAD FOR THIS ONE got it WITH PCS for 20€) semicolon & face the sun, skz no easy & christmas evel, tbz maverick, txt minisode blue hour & tcc fight or escape and woodz only lovers left!! for my bday i alr bought enhypen border day carnival + bss second wind hehe 🫶🫶

THAT NEW THEME WOULD BE SO COOL!!! omg tell me when u did it i wanna see it first hihi 💥💥💥

omg i have both !! but tbh i don’t think i’ve logged into discord in months,, but i’ll send u my twt :D AND RIGHT !! i feel like just talking abt ur fic ideas helps a lot w the writing process

oo id rec just making it at home if it’s possible !! i feel like sukiyaki would b a bit pricey at restaurants,, but the ingredients may b a bit inaccessible :0 && agh dw abt timing for asks !! i have an extremely turbulent sleep sched so pls just send them whenever it’s convenient for u :D

&& yesyes i have family there !! but tbh id probably want to move there alone if i could,, && that makes a lot of sense !! is it like the short stay that makes france fun for tourists ? or like general novelty of things wear off over time :0 ALSO HELLO SVT DIRECTORS CUT ?? that’s so cool hello ??? whod u pull :000

and dori,, i’ve unfortunately been collecting¿ buying albums for a while now,,, like i quite literally cannot list them all fjdjshs but i have svt, lsfm, twice, stayc, aespa, nct, txt, enha, ive, nmixx, izone, red velvet, and itzy albums :D i got really lucky w where i live bc there’s an album store nearby,, so sometimes my friends n i go together :D AND YES DEF U WILL B THE FIRST TO SEE THE NEW DOKIYEOM CARRD !!!

[pumpkin-spice-whump]

Bonfire

i wrote some Kensington! Yayyy!!! its a chaos post that got stupid long. enjoy

CWs: minor whumpee, slave whump, noncon use of drugs and alcohol, underage drinking, recovering alcoholic, referenced abuse, beating, a reveal, Bad Choices by Ashley

Masterlist

-----------------------------------

Kensington sat criss-cross on the hardwood next to the sliding glass door, staring outside. It was getting warmer outside, almost summer again. Summer had always been his favorite season, despite usually having to work in the heat. He loved the flowers and full trees, the sprinklers watering the soft grass and bees buzzing around him. He loved how it smelled, and how it felt. People were more relaxed and kind.

Grayson had bought him at the tail end of last summer. Which meant that Kensington had lived with him for almost a full year. A year wasn’t really that long, when he thought about it. He’d lived through nearly eighteen of them. But in just one year, Grayson had single handedly ruined his life.

He was missing parts of himself he didn’t think he ever would. He couldn’t see properly. Couldn’t hear. He hurt constantly, was always scared and on edge. The only reprieve he’d gotten was when Grayson went on business trips, like he was right now. But it would end just tomorrow night, and Kensington was scared to death of having to face his master again.

At least he had Ashley. Beautiful, selfless, strong and gentle Ashley. Ever since she’d met him, she’d been nothing but kind. She picked him up when he fell, fed him when he was hungry and held him when he cried. She should be home from work any moment now, and Kensington found himself looking forward to that time every single day. He was definitely looking forward to it now, staring at what he wanted more than anything, but was forbidden from.

What did Grayson gain? What exactly was so exciting to him about tormenting and hurting a pathetic slave? Kensington couldn’t fight back if he wanted to, so what was the point? It had been almost a full year since he’d snuck out his window, and he could count the number of times he’d been out since then on one hand. Just because Grayson knew it hurt him.

Kensington felt his chest get hot with anger. It was new, this ball of rage he carried within himself, but he thought liked it. The only downside was that there was nothing he could do to get it out of his system, so he just kept it deep inside himself, feeding it and keeping it alive.

The only downside, besides having no outlet for his newfound anger, was that it always made him cry. Nothing was stupider than crying when you’re angry, and doing it only made him angrier.

Kensington brushed the tears away with his sleeve, standing and pulling the blinds, hiding the outside world he couldn’t be a part of.

He collapsed on the couch, arm over his eyes and took deep, calming breaths. He couldn’t spend the entire day crying and feeling stupid, it was his last day without Grayson for a while, and it would not be wasted. He took a few more minutes to get a hold of himself before making some pink lemonade (something he’d only started having since Ashley moved in) and putting on a TV show.

He heard her voice before he heard the key in the door. Kensington unconsciously sat up straighter, turning slightly to see the front door open before turning back like he didn’t care.

“No, I’d love to come, but you don’t get it,” Ashley was saying. She closed the door and went to drop her bag on the counter, shucking off her jacket. She waved at Kensington, who shyly waved back. “Daniella, please, I told you... It’s personal! I don’t have to --” she looked at the ceiling, annoyed. “Whatever. I’ll talk to you later… Yeah. Okay, I’ll let you know… Mm-hmm. Bye.” She put her phone face-down on the counter and groaned.

Kensington paused the show, screen frozen on a bloodied knife in the air, ready to come down again. “What’s wrong?”

Ashley rolled her eyes, filling up her water bottle. “Ugh. Some of my friends from before want me to come to a bonfire. And it’s not like I don’t want to go, I just don’t want to put myself in that environment, you know?”

He knew. Ashley had started being very open with him about her alcohol addiction, since no one else in her family cared to listen to her. He liked being trusted like that.

“But they really want me to go, since I’ve been ‘MIA’,” she punctuated the word with air-quotes, pausing to take a drink. “It’s the first bonfire of the season, too, so everyone’s like, psyched.” She collapsed on the couch next to Kensington, putting her feet on the coffee table. “I don’t know.”

“Sorry,” Kensington said, not sure what else he could say. He didn’t know anything about bonfires or addiction or friends. He was a shut-in essentially, with no experience in life and no advice to give. “I wish I could help.”

“Nah, it’s fine. I want to go, I just don’t trust myself to go alone. If I had someone who knew and could go with me…”

She trailed off and then looked to Kensington, eyes bright.

He furrowed his brows. “What?”

Ashley smiled. “You wanna come?”

Kensington laughed. “Yeah, right.” Ashley didn’t laugh. He felt his face drop. “Wait are you serious?”

She shrugged. “Why not? You can come and keep me sober, meet my friends, get out for once! And Gray’s gone until tomorrow. It’s perfect!”

Nerves bundled up in his chest and he squirmed in his seat. “I don’t know, Ashley…”

“Come on! It’ll be so much fun, Kensi! Don’t you wanna go out for once?”

Kensington sighed. “I’m not allowed to go in the backyard, much less leave the house and go -- where?”

“Lake Millercroft. Just fifteen miles outside of town.” Kensington opened his mouth, but Ashley spoke first. “Hear me out. When will you get to do this again? Grayson will never know. I won’t say anything. And who knows when he’ll let you out of the house. I mean, like you said, he doesn’t like you in the backyard! Don’t you miss it?”

He missed it more than anything. Almost more than the parts of him that were taken. Ashley couldn’t possibly understand how much he missed just existing in a space that wasn’t this stupid house.

And really… how would Grayson know? He didn’t associate with Ashley’s friends, Ashley wouldn’t say, and Kensington definitely wouldn’t say. There was no telling when he’d get another chance. If he’d ever get another chance.

So, tentatively, he nodded.

Ashley squealed, throwing her arms around him. “Oh yes! Thank you thank you Kensington!” She stood up, the hug going by so quickly Kensington could hardly enjoy it. “Oh, I’m gonna call Daniella back, she’ll be so excited! This will be so fun!”

Kensington listened to the conversation for just a few seconds before turning back to the TV and resuming his show. He tried to be just as excited as Ashley, but he couldn’t ignore the anxiety building in his stomach.

-----------------------------------

The light of the bonfire shone all the way at the end of the road, cars parked along it and up to the beach. Some red taillights illuminated the incoming darkness, other partiers arriving a little late like they did.

Ashley’s entire face was lit up, glowing red as she pulled to the side and turned off the car. “There’s more people than I thought, but that’s okay, right?”

Kensington felt his stomach flip. “I guess.” Several smaller fires dotted the shoreline, groups laughing with drinks in hand. But the big crowd was by the big bonfire, the headliner. 

There certainly were a lot of people there. Ashley made it sound like a small thing, just a few close friends. There were at least thirty people on the beach, with more cars pulling in behind them. He already felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest.

“Hey.” He looked back to Ashley. “It’ll be okay.”

Kensington swallowed. He met her eyes. He wanted to get lost in them. “What if…” he lowered his voice. “They’ll be able to tell.”

“Tell what?” she whispered back.

“Tell that… what I am. They’ll be able to tell.” He gestured to the barcode printed on the back of his left hand, and then to his missing finger, missing ear, heavy scars, and left over bruises. Even though he wasn’t wearing his collar like he was supposed to when he left the house… They’ll know. And there’s no telling how they’ll treat him because of it.

“I’ll look out for you.” She reached over the center console and took Kensington’s ruined hand in hers, giving it a squeeze. “We’ll look out for each other, yeah? I got your back, you got mine.”

He stared down at her hand, her perfect, smooth, manicured hand, holding his scarred and disfigured one. She could do this. She always did things like this. Kensington used to be able to do this. He used to be able to leave the house, to talk to whoever he wanted, to feel like he might be able to belong.

He wasn’t like that anymore.

But Ashley was so excited, and she needed him to keep her sober, to watch out for her. So, despite the anxiety and nerves taking over him, he nodded.

Ashley smiled at him, and they both stepped out of the car.

Kensington jammed his hands into his pockets, bracing himself against the breeze. It wasn’t cold yet, but it would be later in the night. Hopefully Ashley wouldn’t want to stay super long…

“Ash!”

A woman with long black hair and a crop top ran towards them, hugging Ashley so hard that Kensington thought she’d cut off her air.

“I’m so glad you made it, I haven’t seen you in forever!”

Ashley pulled away, putting her hands on the woman’s shoulders. She had a belly-button piercing. “I know, it’s been too long! I’ve missed you so much.”

Kensington took his hands out of his pocket and fiddled with the sleeves of his flannel, pulling it down over his barcode. The woman noticed him and gave a little tilt of her head.

“Oh.” Ashley stepped away, putting a hand on Kensington’s shoulder. “Daniella, this is Kensington.”

Daniella narrowed her eyes. “Are you just bringing underage boys to parties now, Ash?”

Ashley rolled her eyes as Kensington’s face burned. He looked towards the fire instead, watching as the group around it grew.

“He’s my cousin, freak. Don’t be weird. This is Kensi. He’s visiting and Gray’s out of town so I figured why not?”

Kensington tried not to seem surprised as he looked back at Ashley. Cousin? Like… she’s claiming him as family? He felt his eyes widen before Daniella shrugged, accepting it.

“Whatever. Hey, Kensi, want a beer? Ash?”

“He’s underage, Dani. You literally just said that.” Daniella shrugged again, backing up toward a cooler half-buried in the sand and taking out two cans of beer. “So?”

“His parents would kill me if they knew I let him drink. And I’m driving so none for me either.”

“Alright.”

And that was it. Daniella and Ashley started the walk towards the bonfire, Kensington uncomfortably trailing behind them.

Ashley wanted Kensington there to keep her sober. She’d already done a fine job deflecting a drink that was handed to her. What else did he need to be there for? Kensington didn’t really know how it all worked, but wouldn’t she be good now?

He stood next to Ashley by the bonfire, shivering as another breeze went by.

Ashley quickly busied herself, screaming in excitement while seeing other friends, deflecting questions left and right about where she’d been and why she hadn’t been answering their calls and who was that teenager she brought with her?

Kensington just awkwardly smiled when he was referred to, keeping his sleeve down over his hand. His hair over his ear. His left side to the group.

How did he used to be comfortable with all this? How did he used to talk to people and feel safe in groups?

There were too many people surrounding him by the bonfire, too many eyes and whispers behind cupped hands. They knew. They all knew what he was and what had been done to him and he did not want to be there anymore. 

He wanted to go home and enjoy his last night without Grayson for a while. He wanted to watch TV and build LEGOS and enjoy himself without looking over his shoulder in fear the entire time. He wanted to be comfortable and safe for once in his life.

Suddenly the air was too thin. The bodies and the smoke and the smell of alcohol were choking him and he needed to breathe but he couldn’t. It was too full here, too suffocating. He looked for Ashley but it seemed like she had gotten swallowed by the crowd, and he didn’t want to bring attention to himself by calling out for her.

Kensington gently pushed his way through the crowd -- well over a hundred people -- and walked away as fast as he could without drawing suspicion.

It was much colder now, the breeze stronger, but it didn’t matter. He just needed a moment to himself, and for once he could actually step away -- outside -- to have it.

Alone, Kensington turned his back to the fire and stared out at the lake. He took a deep breath in and allowed himself to revel in the feeling of being outside again. The cool night air carrying the smell of the lake and the fire. The movement of the sand and rocks under his shoes. The gentle waves of the lake-water lapping at the shore in the wind. They were all things Kensington had missed, things he hadn’t seen in months or years. He knew he missed it, but he didn’t know how much until he was able to be there again.

Warm tears made their way down his face. Kensington closed his eyes, letting the wind dry them. The sounds of the party faded away, and he let himself bathe in this moment, a moment he would surely never get to feel again, for as long as possible.

A particularly loud shout snapped him out of it, blinking away the tears and turning towards the bonfire again. It seemed a group of girls had taken off their tops, showing off their bras to the entire party. Kensington found himself searching for Ashley in the group and shamefully turned his face back to the lake, wiping his tears. Ashley clearly didn’t want him thinking about her that way. He wouldn’t want anyone thinking about him that way either.

“Hey!”

A ring of men in their twenties at a smaller nearby fire called out. Kensington looked around himself, seeing no one, and looked back.

“Yeah you! Curly! Come here!”

He glanced at the bonfire crowd briefly, but didn’t see Ashley. And if she was one of the ones who took their tops off, then he wouldn’t see her. He wouldn’t betray her trust like that. He trudged through the sand to the campfire.

A man with tanned skin and a backwards cap greeted him. “Hey man. You come here with someone?”

Kensington nodded.

Another man spoke. “Someone brought their little brother? What are you, like thirteen?”

“Seventeen,” Kensington answered automatically.

The last man, a blonde in a hoodie with some word Kensington couldn’t read on it, spoke. “What’s your name?”

Kensington shoved his hands in his pockets. “Kensi.”

“That’s a girl’s name, bro,” the blonde said. “I’m Ethan. This is Mike and Teddy.” He pointed to the second, then first man. They each nodded as their names were said. “You want a beer?” Ethan reached down into a cooler before Kensington even answered.

“Oh, I’m -- I’m okay. I don’t really drink --” A cold can was thrust into his hand. Kensington swallowed. “I’m not allowed…”

“Oh come on, Kensi,” Teddy said, taking a drink. “Mommy’s not here tonight. Don’t be a pussy.”

“Yeah, man,” Mike contributed. “Let loose. Here.” He took the can from Kensington’s grasp and opened it. “Drink.”

He stared openly at the three men before him. They didn’t know he was a slave. They couldn’t have. They were just doing it because he was young and alone -- just because they could. And that scared Kensington more than he could process at that moment.

With a shaking hand, he drank.

“No, dude,” Ethan said. He tipped the can back towards Kensington’s lips. “Drink.”

Kensington choked and coughed on the bitter taste, but Ethan didn’t let go. His chest tightened, lungs burning as he downed nearly the entire can before he finally let go. Kensington keeled over, coughing and gasping for air. The men laughed.

“Never chugged a beer before?”

“Aww are you okay, baby?”

He straightened himself out, gulping in the cool night air. It wasn’t nearly as comforting as it had been a few minutes ago.

“You’ll live,” Teddy laughed, patting him on the back. “Here.” Another can was thrust into his hand.

Kensington felt tears prick his eyes, but he did his best to push them away. He did not want to know what they’d do if he cried. How many more times would they make him drink? He couldn’t even think about it before it was once again raised to his mouth and kept there, forcing him to once again drink the entire can. Kensington choked, spilling it over his shirt, and keeling over again, trying not to vomit. His stomach rolled dangerously.

“Here, I got something real good for ya.” Kensington looked up to see Mike pulling a plastic baggie from his pocket. He removed what looked like a crumpled cigarette from the bag, smirking at Kensington. “I’m assuming you’ve never had one of these?”

“What is it?” Kensington asked, wiping his mouth. He glanced back at the bonfire group, body tensing as he thought about running. Unfortunately the men must’ve thought the same thing, as Ethan and Teddy each put a heavy hand on his shoulders.

Where is Ashley?

“Don’t tell me you’ve never even seen a joint?” Teddy laughed.

Mike lit it up and took a drag, face relaxing. “Take a hit.”

Ashley please I want to go home. 

His head was already starting to buzz from the alcohol -- the first taste of it he’d ever had. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was being offered, but he had a pretty good idea and wanted none of it. Not if it would only make him feel worse. He hunched his shoulders, crossing his arms and looking away. “No.”

He could almost physically feel the mood around him change. They dropped the harmless facade almost immediately and leaned into the cruelty they were pathetically trying to mask.

The hands on his shoulders slid to his arms, and wrenched them behind him, leaving him bare and vulnerable for anything they wanted to do. His breath visibly hitched, panic sparking in his chest. He tried to pull his arms back, but they were much stronger than him. He was trapped.

Kensington prayed they wouldn’t see his barcode. These were people who couldn’t know he was a slave, no matter what. If they were willing to treat him like this if they thought he was free, who knew what they would do if they knew…

Teddy stepped forward, invading what little space Kensington had. “Take. A. Hit,” he ordered. The smell of the joint was already giving him a headache. “Now.”

With a quick glance around, trying desperately to catch the eye of someone -- anyone -- to help him and coming up with nothing, Kensington accepted his fate.

He immediately fell into a coughing fit, trying to wrench his head away. The feeling of smoke in his lungs was severely unwelcome and he needed it out. As soon as Teddy took it away and the tears in his vision cleared, Kensington felt the high coming on.

He needed to get away from them. Now. The feeling in his chest and his head were awful and made him feel like he needed to throw up or lay down. Or both. He didn’t know how far they were planning to take their fun, but he did not want to find out.

The joint was shoved in his face again. “Here, take another.”

Kensington shook his head. “Please… please let me go. I … I don’t like this…”

The men laughed.

“Aww you don’t like it?” Ethan asked.

“Guess we gotta let him go boys.”

“See ya have a good rest of your night!”

Teddy took a hit, exhaling slowly and letting his eyes slip closed. “Kensi. Kensi, Kensi,

Kensi.” He opened his eyes again, staring Kensington down. “You’re with us now, kid. Buckle up for the night, because you’re just not leaving.”

The backhand took him completely by surprise. His head whipped to the side, shoulders hunching. He would’ve fallen to the ground save for the men holding him up. 

“Pussy,” Teddy said. He punctuated it by spitting in Kensington’s face and laughing like an idiot.

The fear in Kensington’s chest grew.

And so did his anger.

These men thought they were the scariest thing that had happened to Kensington. They thought that they held all the power in the world, that he would go home and think about this night for years to come, terrified that he could come across them again. Every day in Kensington’s life was like this. Someone else always held his life in their hands, and they never once cared about it.

He’s not with them. He’s leaving.

Kensington geared back and rammed his shoulder into Ethan’s gut, making him lose his grip enough for Kensington to slip out. He spun around and tried to wrench his left arm away from Mike, slipping away just a little bit before Teddy hit him again. He hit the sand, one arm still wrenched away from his body. The pain broke through the worsening fog in his brain, and Kensington cried out.

“Shut up!” Teddy hissed, kicking him. Kensington’s chest flared in pain.

“No way,” Mike said, tightening his grip on Kensington’s arm.

His stomach dropped, rage completely disappearing, and fear replacing it all.

“This kid’s a slave.”

-----------------------------------

She said no. She said no. Ashley was reeling. She had been faced with the choice between taking a drink and rejecting it and she. Said. No.

Honestly, she wasn’t sure what she was thinking going to the party. She had no idea if she was strong enough to actually stand her ground when faced with alcohol. A large part of going was just to test herself, to see if she actually could do it. And she did. For the first time ever!

And now she had to leave. The pressure was still weighing on her, the need to drink was making her almost shake. No, she was shaking. She had to get out of there.

But first she had to find Kensington.

Where was he? He’d been right next to her the entire night, hadn’t he? Right up until she’d been offered the drink only a few minutes ago… Right?

Truthfully, she didn’t actually invite him to keep her sober. She just wanted to get him out of that house. Grayson was on some crazy power trip with that kid, and Ashley didn’t like it one bit. Kensington was so sweet and adorable and didn’t deserve a single thing her psycho brother did to him.

“Hey, Daniella.” Ashley tapped her friend on the shoulder. “You seen Kensington?” Daniella was wasted. She could barely focus her eyes on Ashley. Some guy was basically holding her up and Ashley judgmentally looked him up and down. He didn’t look totally sober either. “I seen what?”

“Kensi. My cousin, or step-brother or whatever. The kid I brought.”

“Yo, blonde? Curly?” the dude asked. His words were slurred.

Ashley narrowed her eyes. “Yes?”

“I saw him… near the parking lot.” He smiled creepily, giving Ashley a look she couldn’t really decipher.

Ashley glanced over to the parking lot, but didn’t see anyone that looked like Kensington. “Thanks,” she muttered. Before she left, she made deliberate eye contact with Daniella and made the hand sign they’ve had for years. Something that said Are you safe? Do you need help?

Daniella smiled and responded with another sign. I’m fine. I feel okay.

Still, Ashley asked another one of their friends to please keep an eye on her before she went on her search for Kensington by the parking lot.

The lot was deserted of people, save for a few couples getting busy in their cars. She looked at the edge of the woods that broke into the clearing used as a parking lot.

“Kensi?” she called quietly. “Kensington?”

Was he waiting for her by her car? She really hoped so. Where did she park?

Ashley shivered in her thin jacket, wrapping her arms around herself. “Kensi? Come on, let’s go home. Where are you?” Was he even wearing a jacket?

What the hell was she thinking bringing him there? The kid hadn’t been outside in months or something and the first place she brought him was some beach bonfire that got crashed by like two colleges? What was wrong with her? She swore that being sober made her stupider.

“Kensington?”

Where was her car?!

Oh her keys. She dug through her bag and pressed the key fob, looking for the lights. Her car wasn’t nearly as far as she thought it was, and she doubled back to it.

“Kensington? Are you here?” Beyond the sounds of the woods and the bonfire and one car that was getting particularly steamy, Ashley heard a small voice.

“Kensi?”

Next to the driver’s door of her car was a form nearly concealed in the darkness. Ashley exhaled in relief, running to him.

“Kensington you scared the ever loving-- … Kensington?”

Ashley fumbled for her phone, turning on the flashlight. She gasped in horror, falling to her knees beside him.

Kensington was bleeding. Blood ran down from his hairline, covering his face. He cradled his left arm protectively, shying away from Ashley and the light. He was crying, shoulders shaking as he tried to hide his face.

“Oh gosh, Kensington…” she reached out for him, but he flinched away, sobbing. Her heart broke. “It’s me, Kensi. It’s Ashley. I won’t hurt you.” She gently rested a hand on his shoulder. He flinched again, but glanced up at her with tear-filled eyes.

Ashley nearly lost her balance as Kensington flung himself at her, wrapping his arm around her while keeping the other one tightly to himself. He buried his face into her shoulder, sobbing.

She could feel her shirt soaking through and prayed it was with tears. She put her hand on Kensington’s back, rubbing circles.

“Okay. You’re okay. I’m so sorry, but I have you now. You’re okay now.”

“I want to go home, Ashley,” he mumbled into her shoulder. He stank of weed and booze, his words slurred. “Please take me home. I don’t like it here.”

Ashley nodded, guilt crashing over her in waves. She nodded, standing up slowly with Kensington’s weight on her shoulder. She was careful to be gentle with his apparently injured arm. His face rolled on her shoulder, blood shining in the firelight. She unlocked her car and set him in inside, apologizing when he winced in pain. His ribs must be hurt too.

The car ride home was silent. The natural high Ashley was riding by successfully leaving sober had ended as soon as she found Kensington. How could she let that happen? She’d promised to stay by him, and hadn���t even noticed when he’d disappeared. How long was he alone?

Kensington had his head rested on the window, occasional gasps of pain when the car jolted escaping him. Ashley tried to drive smoothly.

“I’m so sorry, Kensi,” Ashley forced out.

He didn’t answer, head turned against the window. Ashley hoped he fell asleep.

Then: “Why did you leave me alone? I only went to be with you, Ashley.”

Ashley’s heart broke all over again.

They pulled up to the house just before midnight. Kensington really was half asleep by the time they got there, eyes drooping and red.

“Come on, Kensi,” Ashley whispered, reaching over and unbuckling his seatbelt. He blinked at her blearily. “I got you.” She threw his good arm over her shoulder again, hoisting him up. He wasn’t very heavy.

Ashley somehow got her keys and unlocked the front door. Grayson’s dark condo seemed as welcoming as ever, hauling in a drunk and high teenager beside her. He was gonna have a wicked hangover tomorrow.

She half-dragged, half-carried him to his ‘room’, letting him down on the cot he called a bed.

“I’ll be right back,” she whispered.

Ashley grabbed a glass of water, some ibuprofen, and an extra pillow from the couch before returning.

“Kensington?”

“Hmm?”

“Sit up for me? I have some water for you.” Ashley had to keep a hand behind his back as he drank ravenously. “Okay. Lay on your side okay?” She made a mental note to refill the water and maybe grab a trash can for him before she went to bed. She propped the pillow behind his back to help him stay on his side. There was no telling how he would respond to the drugs and alcohol. She wasn’t taking risks.

“You okay, Kensi?”

He blearily nodded, eyes slipping closed. Ashley pulled his blanket over him. Poor kid.

“I’m really, sorry,” she whispered, pushing back his hair.

“I don’t feel good.”

“I know.”

“I don’t like it here.” His voice broke and tears started falling down his face again, eyes opening and looking at Ashley with despair. “I don’t want Grayson to come home tomorrow.”

Ashley knelt beside him and took his hand. “I know. But you’re okay, Kensington. You’ll be okay.”

He shook his head. “Why do you always say that? You don’t know that. You don’t know what he does.”

Her heart stuttered in her chest, blood running cold. “What does he do?”

Kensington let go of her hand, curling it into a fist and hiding it under his pillow. “I lost my finger because of him,” he muttered.

Ashley’s face got hot.

“And my eye. And my ear. And some teeth. And he cuts me up and locks me away and I hate it.” He was almost shaking with rage. Ashley had never heard him talk like that -- she had no idea he could. Tears fell, hot and fast, as he ground his teeth with anger.

“Oh Kensi…”

“I hate him. I hate him so much. He made my life miserable and I hate my life now and I hate him.”

Ashley didn’t know what to say. Of course he hated her brother. He did all of those horrible things and Ashley didn’t even have any idea. She was living with some sort of sadistic maniac. Kensington was living with a sadistic maniac.

“Don’t tell him I hate him,” Kensington begged, eyes closed.

Ashley pushed his hair back again, pulling the blanket over his shoulder. She would take a look at it in the morning, along with his other cut on his forehead. She’d clean him up then, too. Maybe she should’ve done it tonight.

Either way, tonight she would just let him sleep.

-----------------------------------

Taglist: @batfacedliar-yetagain @haro-whumps @nicolepascaline

[ms-indifferwnt]

Clouds pt 1

Taeil

Boyfriend!Taeil x genderneutral!Reader

"Its your choice, pretend you don't know or go inside and confront them about this"

Warning: Cursing, Suggestive, Yelling, Angst, mention of mental harm 

Word Count: 5.4k

Note: Yayyy!!! 100 followers

Taeil and you probably take the cake for the most Clichè love story. The Best friends to lovers trope. Like seriously, you and Taeil have been friends since birth, technically, Your mom and his mom has been friends since college you see, met and gotten married to the love of their lives a year apart, gotten pregnant almost the same time and have birth a couple of months apart, so in reality, you and Taeil have been fated to be bestfriends 

When you were born six months apart after Moon Taeil, he and his family visited you and your mother in the Hospital while your dad was busy running around the hospital telling everyone he was a dad

Ofcourse you and Taeil had no memory of this but your mom’s were more than happy to introduce their children. Shipping the two of you since you were born

You were six years old, that was your first memory of Taeil, maybe because you always thought of him as the annoying kid that lives a block away who loves to pester you, you were playing with other kids when, your neighbor, Doyoungie (who you had affectionally nicknamed, bunnie at the time) had kicked the ball to your face you remembered that you cried as he said sorry. You were angry and hurt and Taeil was the only one who laughed at the scene but upon seeing your crying face he hugs you and holds your hand “Aww don’t cry, Y/n” he says happily “Lets go play more ok?”

Taeil’s first time thinking of you as someone more than the snotty brat he was forced to take care of was when you got lost, he didn’t have to take care of you then, but he thought he’d bring you along, he was five and you were turning four and he wanted to buy ice-cream,  you wanted ice-cream, so he took you along to that ice-cream shop by the corner. It wasn’t dangerous his mom was with you

He bought ice cream, two of them, knowing that you won’t be able to finish it so he can eat two ice-creams but the moment he turned he doesn’t see you. He panicked and started looking for you all over the shop, trying not to alert his mom but when all hope seemed lost, he started sobbing, where are they? are they hurt? They’re mom is gonna be so sad-

“Mooooom!” He cries and runs to his mother who holds the boy in her arms 

“Why are you crying what happened?”

“Y/n” He looks around “I cant find”

His mom smiles fondly at the boy “Are you worried?”

He nods “I’m supposed to protect them!” He cries and his mom coos gently carrying him and taking him out of the shop, placing him down

“ok, my strong boy” His mom says and kisses the top of his head, “look there” He obeys, with teary eyes only to spot you walking towards them with cotton candy in her hands and he pulled away from his mom to run to you

“Where were you?” He asked and held your face 

“Clouds” You claimed happily showing the cotton candy proudly to him

“You should’ve waited” He sniffled and you reached over to wipe his cheeks, he smiles, but didn’t stop you

“Sorry” You whisper and he nods opening his mouth so he can taste the clouds and you happily letting him take a bite

He looks up to see his mom and your dad grinning at the sight “Hi, Y/n’s dad” he waves and looks at you who was playing with the cloud on your hand “No, Y/n.” He takes it and bonks your head making you wince “you’ll get sticky-”

You and Taeil literally grew up side by side, He was there for you back in middle school when this girl bullied you because you and Taeil would always be together.

Taeil wasn’t happy the way that girl treated you but you always ignored her, she was just jealous that you were bestfriends with him, so you had a habit of holding him back whenever he was about to say something to her, or you try to anyway

“Taeil” you hissed and tugged on his shirt again once he stared down at her, of course you know Taeil is a big softie who cries over Hachiko, The dog that waited for his master by the train station despite his master dying, and that dog from I am Legend, so you know he really means no harm, its just, its his big brother instincts that make him fight anyone who attempts to harm you cause as he quotes “You’re an annoying little snot rag I had to take care of, So if anyone has the right to mentally harm you its me” and rewarded him with a kick to the shin “Lets just go, leave her be”

He looks at you and you smiled softly “We can go get clouds before we go home” you offered once he allows you to take him away, he raises an eyebrow at your words

“You’re fourteen and you still call them clouds?”

You roll your eyes “Cotton candy” you said in distaste “That is the most disgusting word I have ever heard of, Clouds on the other hand, sounds more magical”

He laughs “What about I start calling dumplings as meat pockets again?”

You made a face “What are you five?”

“I’m as cute as one”

“I hate Toddlers”

“No you don’t” He says and leads you to his bike, getting on it after handig you his backpack “You love kids”

You sat by the back, sitting on it with your legs to the side while you held on to his waist, pinching his side “No, I don’t”

He flinches and moves to swat your hands “Yes, you do, you love kids, you would play with them at the park whenever their parents are busy,” he points out and starts biking

“I have no idea what you’re taking about-”

“Look its Baby Yuri” he says saying the name of that child you were always so fond of

You perked “Where?” only to see that its an empty road and a laughter coming from him as a reminder that Baby Yuri’s house is far from here “Jerk” you glared at him and pinched him again, he swats your hand away “now hurry up and teach me how to read Morse codes” you said and held on to the back of his shirt

The time Taeil stopped thinking like you were his little sister was when you dated on your second year of high school. Yes, cliché, but, at first he didn't care, he congratulated you and helped look stunning, he wasn't bitter that you were trying to show off for someone else, or that you were nervous to go on a date with someone else (not true, he did care, he was bitter, he hated every minute of it)

Three months into your relationship, you were crying in Taeil's arms, cause, apparently you had a fight, cause you were to close to Taeil and your fight resorted to yelling and you attempting to kick them

So when you called him, but you didn’t speak, he just heard your heavy breathing he knows you were upset, he knows that you’re trying every thing to not cry, he knows that if you speak you just might, so, he spoke first “Yours or mine?” he stops about three seconds after the first choice so you can hum or grunt (whichever you had the energy to do), then he’ll know what your answer is

You grunted at his second offer, and he stands up from his bed to start cleaning up around the house, “Sure, come over, you want me to pick-” He looks at his phone and you declined the call, so you’ll be coming over yourself. 

He moves to get to work, cleaning up the mess and getting the snacks you like before you arrive, and when he was finished, there you were, on his porch, looking like you were about to kick his door in

He reaches out to hold your hand which you pulled it away and walked inside. He wasn’t offended, he knows why you don’t like the affection, he knows that you breakdown easily. The fact that you haven’t even teared up yet was amazing, but you aren’t outside, you aren’t alone, It’s Taeil, your bestfriend the boy that has been by your side all your life so he knows, you need a hug

He grabbed you by the arm to pull you into his chest, you gasped and attempted to push him away but he shushes you with a small affectionate kiss on your forehead, “its ok,” he whispers “I know you wanna be strong, so its ok, its just me, you did well, you’ve been so strong up until now” he holds you close that you tightened your grip on his shirt “Its just me, Let me be strong for you”

You cried into his chest that day, after his words. You would never admit it, but Taeil is probably the only one who has seen you cry, he doesn’t mind, he’s your Strength, he knows that, you know that, so when it gets too much Taeil lets you cry on him lets you take it out, he makes you feel taken care off And he wouldn’t have it any other way

He managed to calm you down, petting your hair and then he bonks you, making you look at him, tear stained cheeks, eyes bloodshot, he laughs as you rub your head “Feel better?”

“A bit, yeah”

He hums and pulls away “Go take a shower,” he moved to his cupboards and taking out a fresh towel, handing it to you, well actually he didn’t hand it, he fucking threw it to your face, and yeah it hurt, but it made you laugh and he smiles back “Go clean up, I’ll lend you some of my clothes” he sighs “again. Snotty,” He teases “You gotta return my clothes sometime today, the near future”

You smile “No, I like them, go buy new ones instead” 

He laughs “Brat, I need my clothes”

You pout and crossed your arms "You're gonna make me cry again, big brother" you called him that only when you want something, and yeah, it usually works, but something about being referred to as big brother 

He rolls his eyes and threw one of his sweatshirts to you making you yelp, “Shut up and go”

You obeyed, smiling softly at him. He stares at his hands, You haven’t called him Big Brother for a very long time and something about that made his blood boil

He just wishes he knows why. He’s been feeling like this for quite sometime, whenever you get to friendly or to close to someone, he has no idea if he should be angry at you or that person your talking to. 

He settled on the sofa with a sigh and looked at the tv, where the opening scene of your favorite show was paused, your favorite snacks on the coffee table. His ears perked when he heard the familiar sound of his bathroom door opening, you were done, he turned to see your figure disappear somewhere behind his house, he knows what you’re doing you were gonna hang the towel you borrowed, then you reemerged, hair still obviously wet (you didn’t bother to properly dry it, he guesses, again), leaving wet splotches on his sweatshirt. You went up the stairs, he smiles, he has a feeling you’ll get pillows from his room, he can hear the door of his room open, yup he is right.

He stood up to get the towel you hanged and walked back to the living room to see you eating the snacks while cuddling his pillow, He really does know you now. He throws the towel at you “Dry your hair properly, or shave your head” he points out and you sigh, doing as your told with a playful kick to his thighs

Once you were done he leaves to hang it again, when he returns and sees you, he smiles excitedly sitting beside you, and you play the movie

It was just a random movie that you accidentally started liking (he was ninety-nine percent sure you only like it cause Ewan McGregor, who you think is “surprisingly charismatic”, is in it). He wasn’t watching though, the movie wasn’t interesting, he was watching you, reading you body language and facial expression, checking if you really are feeling better

He didn’t realize how hard he was staring at you, ‘till both of your eyes met, he froze, you were so close, his heart skipped a beat, was it just him? or was your eyes always that sparkly?

You lift your hand and placed the snack against his lips, feeding him “take a bite so you’ll stop looking at me like a lost puppy”

He blushes and nods, taking a bite. Looking away, he held his hands. He is fucking screwed

You on the other hand found out you liked him around college. Unfortunately, you and Taeil have drifted apart over time. You don’t hang out as usual, he is studying a different major than you after all, it was only natural you both have other friends

You didn’t like it

Over time you and Taeil have been going through your own time, like getting your own apartments and campus that we want to be on, It doesn’t change, you and Taeil go to and from the Campus and Your houses around the same time since you are neighbors but when the two of you get to the Campus its like neither of you know each other 

Growing up with Taeil means, he was with you every waking moment and all of a sudden its gone, who will get used to that? He has been the person you grew with, who held yo while you were in pain and made you laugh when you were sad 

“I miss you” You whispered one time as you sat on to the passengers seat of his car when you both were heading home for the holidays “A lot” you whispered quiet enough so that he won’t hear but you were wrong

Ever since Taeil accepted the fact that he likes you he has become more insightful in things that upset you, and he can see (he doesn’t know why) but he can see how upset you were and hearing you say that, he didn’t mean it, but it gave him hope that you liked him too

That week Taeil climbed your window to wake you up, knocking on your window 'till you eventually woke up

You weren't exactly asleep, you were to busy looking at your hands, thinking about your Christmas dinner at the Moon Household, you and you're family was there except you and Taeil haven't even attempted to try and speak or approach each other and it only hurt you more when neither of you tried. You sat up and froze, seeing a shadowy figure by your window and your instincts went to overdrive and you opened your mouth to scream for your father

Taeil noticed your on guard position and he shakes his head, knocking against your window in a pattern that he wishes to every one holy that you remember

“Da-” you stopped midway once you hear the knocking looking at the figure, you realized it was Morse code, you listened as the figure tapped the glass, long tap, pause, That’s a ‘T’ tap, long tap, pause, And that’s an ‘A’ tap, pause, what is that one again? Tap, Tap, pause, I remember this one its an ‘I’ tap, long tap, tap, tap

You looked at the figure “Taeil?” you asked and opened the window, Taeil climbing in letting out a sigh of relief “What the hell are you doing here?”

He laughs “I was bored,” You frowned and sat on your bed, glaring at the boy making him raise both his hands in defense “I’m kidding, don’t hit me”

You rolled your eyes and lied sown on the bed “Yeah well, leave, I was sleeping” facing away from him

“We both know you weren’t”

“shut up”

He smiles and taps your thigh over the blanket “Scoot over, I had a nightmare, don’t wanna sleep alone”

You turned to look at him “What are you five?”

“Is that a no?” He asks with a sly smile, holding the blanket up so he can join you when you agree

You sighed, scooting to the side and he slides in beside you “Big baby”

He laughs, but covered his mouth to not wake your parents “I didn’t really have a nightmare” he whispered and moves to tuck an arm underneath his head as you copy his movements, the two of you facing each other “You were avoiding the at the party”

You scoffed “No, you were avoiding me” you huffed

“Are you ok?” He asked reaching up to swipe the hair that covers your face “You’ve been extremely quiet”

You yawned, you felt safe I his presence to even fall asleep to it, you couldn’t help but smile softly at the action “I’m ok” you lied, closing your eyes

“Don’t lie to me” he says, he has known you long enough to know when you lie and he won’t let it pass “I wanna help you”

“There’s nothing you can do”

“There will be if you tell me”

“Taeil”

“Y/n” 

You opened your eyes only to see him staring at you, with worry and care “I hate you”

He smiles, and you felt your cheeks warm up at the sight “No you don’t” You rolled your eyes and he nods “Tell me when you’re ready, but for now” he takes her free hand in a promise “I won’t leave your side, and don’t leave mine”

You looked at him, the at your hands, before nodding “Promise?”

He nods “Promise” He smiles as he watches you yawn “Get some sleep, ok?”

“Ok” you whisper and start to doze off “That’s all I ever wanted,” you whisper “I miss you” you whisper and fall asleep

Taeil’s heart was beating rapidly against his chest, miss him? what is that supposed to mean? was that even supposed to mean anything? And he was aware that your hands are still intertwined, he blushes, and holds it tighter, afraid of letting go. He watches you sleep this time, glad to see you peaceful, seeing you always made him happy, but sometimes knowing that you will never return these feelings, made him so weak that he wants to do nothing but lie in bed, he closes his eyes,  his finger tapping mindlessly on your pillow

L-O-V-E Y-O-U

You and Taeil are still very much a bestfriends. And you two hang out majority of the time since Lee Taeyong, someone from Taeil's group of friends, and Suh Johnny, the American exchange student you became friends with started dating

So bam! You and Taeil were automatically the third wheel, which was fun since you two were already friends, everyone was talking and playing around while you and Taeil were speaking to other people. Taeil looks at you as you fed Jungwoo the tart you ordered and Taeil had to bite his tongue from saying something to the innocent boy

He starts tapping against the table as he looks through his phone, hoping you could understand the Morse code despite how loud the surroundings were

You did. And you couldn’t stop smiling, Fid me 2, He spelled, Feed you? and you understood, you must tease the boy “Ew” you said aloud so he’ll hear and he huffs making you laugh

“Aww I didn’t know you guys can read each other minds” Yuta teases and kicks Taeil under the table 

Taeil shrugs “We’re that close”

You roll your eyes, feigning annoyance but you smiled at Taeil as he focuses on other people, joking and playing with them

“I’m hungry” Taeyong says making everybody listen to him, and Johnny nodding 

“What do you wanna eat my love?” He asks and you gagged, making him elbow you 

Taeyong chuckled and nodded “something sweet” he starts and hums

Johnny looks at everyone as they start suggesting food, Johnny and Taeyong turn down some till Taeil spoke “What about clouds?”

The whole room turned quiet and you stared at the boy in front of you, wide eyed while the room started to rumble with questions

“What the fuck is a cloud?”

“We’re talking about food Taeil”

“Taeil, are you stoned?”

“Since when can you eat clouds?”

You bursted out laughing once he starts to redden from your friends words before glaring at you “Y/n help me” You shake your head still too busy laughing, he growls “Its nothing, its an inside joke, you guys wouldn’t understand!” he huffs and lean against his chair, crossing his arms 

Your laughter died sown as you stared at him, his eyes meeting yours and you blushed, taking a bite of your tart, Why are you blushing? you asked yourself, Why is your heart beating so fast? you might pass out if it continues, surely you don't like Taeil, TAEIL of all people, not him

“Y/n did you hear me?” Jungwoo says making you look at him and apologetically shake your head making him chuckle “I asked when you started liking him”

“I don’t”

He raises his eyebrow “Oh really? cool, cause I have this friend who wants me to set them up with Taeil”

You glared at him “Do you wanna die?” you asked annoyed

He laughs and winks “I will once you admit of your feelings” 

You kicked him, then you hear the table buzz, looking up to see someone approach Taeil, shyly offering him a box, “I,” They smiles, cheeks painted red and you couldn’t help but glare at the new comer “I got you some chocolates, I hope you like them”

Taeil bows and takes the chocolates, and you look away, while Jungwoo looks at you, with a sly grin, and you point a threatening finger at him “Not a word”

Taeil and you confessed in the least romantic way possible, but you loved it all the same, granted you both fought, but it was cute and emotional all the same

He mindlessly played with the flashlight, switching it on and off against his wall, you were asleep on his bed cause you had a fight with your dad about a boy and you decided that sleeping over at Taeil's for the night wouldn't be that bad, so while you slept you lent hi your phone cause his was broken, why? easy, you threw it against the wall cause he wouldn't turn off his alarm "You dance to this shit Y/n" "I don't mind breaking your arm too"

So there he was switching your phone's flashlight on and off after he got bored spamming your gallery with his face. He was a little out of it, but he knows you're awake "You'll drain my battery" you murmured

"It'll charge" He mutters "My phone on the other hand" he says a bit snappy

You pout "I said I'm sorry, and I'm repairing it ok?"

He shrugs and continued going though your phone

You sat up and leaned your forehead against his back "I'm tired I wanna nap again"

"And I wanna date you, we don't get what we want"

You looked up at him so fast that you thought you'd have whiplash "What?" you’re heart beating against your chest

He smiled slyly, trying his best to not blush and moving away from you “End scene” He laughs and playfully winks at you, he chickened out, he hates how angry he has been these past couple of weeks, he hates seeing other people approach and flirt with you, he hates being the subject when you call someone your bestfriend or your older brother, he hates how he can’t push people who wanna keep you away cause he has no right. He hates that it was starting to hurt to look at you, to think about you, its not fair that he likes you and you’ll never be in his arms the way he wants you to. He hates how you’re seeing someone, and it isn’t him. He hates the fact that he loves you, why out of all people, he could love, why you?

“Taeil!” You raised your eyebrow and your voice “What the heck was that supposed to mean “You were kidding?” you didn’t mean it, but sounded so offended and sad, does Taeil really like you? your heart thumped at a quick pace when he looks at you, searching your face for answer

He gulps “why?” he asks facing you “What if I wasn’t?

You stared at him processing “Well-” He moves to tilt his head waiting for you to answer him, you retaliated by hitting him on the shoulder “You didn’t answer me asshole”

He looks at your phone not answering, not fiddling with anything except the morse code app you had in there, turning the sound and you can hear the message

-.-- . ... / -.-- . ... /-.-- . ... 

“What the heck is ‘yes’ supposed to mean?” You started as he starts pressing the app to send you another message and you groaned “just tell me”

.. -- / -.- .. -.. -.. .. -. --. / .. -- / -.- .. -.. -.. -- -. --.

“I’m Kidding?” You read aloud and scrunched your nose “What the heck is that supposed to be? Tell me Taeil!” you yelled and moved slap your phone away from him when he tries to type a new code “Tell me, do you like me or not?” he stares at you “Was it a joke or were you serious?”

He looks at you in shock as you angrily told him those words, why were the you taking this seriously? you don’t like him, right? then why are you so angry? why is it affecting you? “What’s it have to do with you?” 

“Taeil just tell me”

“Why do you need to know if its a joke or not?”

“Just tell me”

“Why? You’re dating someone right now right? why do you need to know?”

“Taeil I’m not..”

“No, tell me why” You opened your mouth when your phone on the floor of Taeil’s room started buzzing, speak of the devil, your phone flashed with his name and it mad Taeil’s blood boil even more when you stood up to take your phone, he grabbed it from your hands before you could answer and threw it to the side, grabbing your wrist and pulling you back on the bed, keeping you there, a hand on your wrist and the other on your waist “Tell me”

You glared at him gripping his collar “What the hell is wrong with you?” You asked angrily “You’ve been salty ever since I asked if I could stay over! You don’t want me here? That’s fine, tell me, you don’t need to let me stay when you clearly don’t want me here!” You’re chest heaved and he could tell you’re just starting “you wanna know why I want to know the truth from you? Cause I care for you more then what a friend, a sibling should do. I hate seeing you with Kim Kochan or Lee Robin those two flirt with you on a basis, you know that right? they cling and keep you all for themselves and I hate it! I hate how fast my heart beats when you smile or when you buy me snacks cause they’re my-”

He cuts you off with a swift kiss to your lips. How could he not, you just confessed you liked him albeit angrily, you still confessed. His lips moved slowly against yours and you froze, your mind on hyperdrive, ‘till he pulled away “I like you too but you’re really loud when you’re upset, we shou-”

You rolled your eyes and pulled his collar, making him crash into you, kissing him again, this time you slowly moved your lips against his, his hands snaking around your waist, to pull you closer, your arms wrapping around his neck

He licks your bottom lip, you groaned softly and he happily sticks his tongue in, gently brushing over your tongue, making you slightly whine and he grins, keeping hold of your as you both play tongue-sies

He pulls away, a string of saliva being the only thing connecting you both before he groans softly at the sight “I love you” he breathes before leaning to trail kisses down your jaw and neck making you tilt your head upward giving him more room. He smiles at the shudder before gripping your waist and pulling on it to make you go up and straddle him “Taeil” you gasped at how bold he was being and he chuckles 

“Say it” he whispers against your ear licking a stripe on it while a hand travels under your shirt making you gasp at the coldness of his hand and the heat of your body, and he smiles “Please? Need to hear you say it”

“Really at a situation like this?” You huff and he only grins at you making you whine “I’ll tell you later, ok?” You tugged on his shirt, in a silent way to command him to do something, and only met with a shake of his head “Taeil” You whined again “fine, I love you too you big dork”

He smiles and happily kissed you again, holding you close before taking your shirt off and giving you everything you asked, encouraging him with every tug of his hair, a gasp and a moan of his name. He was addicted, he never wanted to stop to make you so whiny and needy and putty in his arms

He was happy that night, well dawn, finally having you in his arms, your neck covered in nothing but his marks, and he can see from his position your bruised waist. Oh and his hair, it was in pain, from the way you would pull and tug on it but he loved it, only reminding him that it was all real, his arms and shoulders were bruised but he just smiles at the slight sting before tightening his hold on your waist and kissing the shell of your ear

“No more” you whined and pouted “Please? I am so tired” you begged cupping his cheeks and he couldn’t help it he kissed your palms 

“Stop” he bit his lip and looked at you all wide eyed, seeing your expression, your marks and looking absolutely fucked that he swung his legs over and kissed your nose “Just, just one more, ok? one more round”

“Dad!” Taeil grumbled “Are you serious right now?”

His dad nods “Yes” He points a finger at his chest “Don’t get me wrong, I don’t care if you are sleeping around, as long as you don’t get STD’s or have a failing grade” He reminds “But any other than that, you’re free to do anything you want. You’re mother and I back in college, we had out share of fun”

Taeil covers his ears “no! no no, I don’t need to know, I don’t need to know my birth story, I don't need to know how sexy mom was, I am seriously going to run away screaming”

“Stop being a baby” His dad says and hits him upside the head, “I’m just saying, when you would sleep with someone, you stay over their place not the other way around, so I was wondering who is that? My son’s special someone? and also, I heard everything lastnight so I’m pretty sure it is a special person, and I wanted to ask if they’ll stay the morning cause, It’s my turn to make breakfast and I wanna know if I should add one more serving”

All of a sudden an excited squeal leaves his mother’s lips as she excitedly ran down the stairs and tackled Taeil “I am so proud of you” She praises and kisses him on the forehead “So so Proud”

“What happened?” His dad asks and She spins to look at her husband 

“It’s Y/n”

He blinks and looks at his son then his wife, around the same time the mom clinged once again to Taeil, “I have been shipping you both since you two were in the womb, I waited twenty one years for the two of you to get together” she squeals and hugs him “Even better you both slept with each other, Honey, cook an extra serving for Y/n. And Taeil good job, satisfying your partners needs in bed is much more important, I approve”

“Mom!” Taeil groans 

“Do you think Their parent’s know? we should invite them , lets go invite them!”

Part 2

[beibiipinku]

ShuuSaya: Moments of 2020

(I wrote this some days ago, I was planning to post it before the year ended but I FORGOT, so let’s pretend it’s still 2020 hehe)

Morning, morning everyone!!! I’m happy because I’m back after a reallyyyy long time. This year is almost over (THANK GOD).

BUT despite everything that happened, Shuu and Sayaka still had some time for each other.

Honestly they’re the only thing keeping me stable rn。・゜・(ノД`)・゜・。

So here comes another long post, this time it’s something very special for me SHUUSAYA MOMENTS OF 2020 T^T

Enjoy hehe!!

March 6th

Shuu and Sayaka had a date just in time for Michiru’s birthday!! Also that cake(? looks delicious T^T

March 13th

They worked together for the first time in a loooong time!!

They had an interview for the wicca x Sailor Moon collaboration!! There are many cute pics from this day｡ﾟ(ﾟ´ω`ﾟ)ﾟ｡ Like the one Sayaka shared the other day👀 and the one Shuu shared on her Youtube video

You can read the interview here!!

June 9th

Sayaka tweeted this on her birthday, Shuu called her!!🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕💕

July 13th

After four months without seeing each other, Shuu (and Mika-chan) went to see the stage play where Sayaka was appearing!! I cried a lot that day T^T

That same day, Shuu gave Sayaka a birthday present, this BEAUTIFUL NEPTUNE NECKLACE!! Shuu also bought one for herself so they could wear matchy UraNep necklaces 🥺🥺🥺🥺 Sayaka said she wanted to go out with Shuu and wear them!

I made a post about this haha if you wanna check it out > <

July 27th

Sayaka had an Insta live, and someone asked what her relationship with Shuu was, she said they’re more than lovers😳 but she was actually just trolling us, right?😶

Also, she was wearing the necklace Shuu gave her and one of the UraNep watches from the interview🥺

I didn’t have any pictures from the live so I took this one from @redcat36 ‘s post here! ;) hope you don’t mind👀

August 11th

They finally went on a date🥺 and that means they could finally wear THE necklaces together😭😭😭😭

October 5th

Sayaka went to see the stage play where Shuu was appearing, I really don’t know if they saw each other properly, cause there aren’t any pics but THIS IS ENOUGH

November 17th (?

I’m pretty sure this wasn’t on November 17th, but she tweeted it that day so yes. Sayaka was appearing in a stage play called Three Kingdoms and it seems like Shuu picked her up after a performance👀

December 6th

Okay, I’m gonna explain this very quickly, since I saw many people who didn’t know exactly what it was.

On November (I think) some kind of official Sailor Moon polls came out, people could vote for their favorite characters, episodes and songs, many Sera Myu actors also voted, including Shuu and Sayaka!!

The thing is that this day, December 5th, the final results were posted!

You can check them out here!!

And guess who came in first and third?????? Sailor Uranus and Haruka Tenoh respectively😭😭😭😭 Michiru came in sixth!!

Sayaka tweeted this and said she had called Shuu!!

Shuu also congratulated Uranus and Haruka, but said she didn’t have any pics at the moment so she shared THIS beautiful picture of Sayaka she took the day of the wicca x Sailor Moon interview😳🥺😭💕

AND AND ANDDDDD this tweet became Sayaka’s most liked and retweeted tweet!! 3,042 likes and 686 retweets WOW😳

December 10th

Yet again they went to Q-pot and wore their beautiful UraNep necklaces😩😩💕💕💕

Yep, that’s all, it was a great year for ShuuSaya, despite the circumstances!! Let’s hope next year will be even better!!

Their friendship is really beautiful, I love them so muchhhh

And it’s almost Shuu’s birthday yayyy👀👀

Thank you so much for reading HAPPY NEW YEARRR!!💕💕💕

[kpopaddicted06]

Birthday surprise – one shot

Summary: Some things are happening when you’re less expecting them.

pairing: Stray Kids’s Lee Felix x reader

genre: best friends to lovers au

type: fluff, slight comedy, slight angst

words: 3.6k

warnings: parental abandone (father), cursing (I think?), mention of alcohol and suggestion of getting drunk

A/N: hope you’ll enjoy this one shot with our sunshine; thank you for reading it! 

I was in my class when I got a message from my best friend telling me that he needs my help in the kitchen.

 It’s not something new that Felix wants my help, but it’s a bit concerning the fact that he wants to cook, because that can end up either with one of us getting injured or the house burned down. Regardless that thought, as always I said that I will help him after I leave from university.

 When I arrived at his house I entered using my spare key, not bothered to announce my presence since I knew his mother and older sister were at work and his little sister is usually out with her friends at this hour, so he must be alone. I left my shoes in the hall and went straight to the kitchen. What was waiting for me there left me with my mouth wide open, a complete disaster. There was flour spread all over the floor, a mountain of dishes was coming out of the sink, the counter and the table were full of ingredients and something that looked like burned brownies. But most importantly, my friend, Felix, was in the middle of everything and the cause of it.

 “Yah! I told you I will help you, so why did you start without me?? Look at this kitchen Felix, your mother is going to kill you!”

 “In my defense, I thought baking some brownies would be easier, but unfortunately I was wrong. You’re gonna help me clean this mess and cook like you promised, right?” He was looking at me with his best puppy eyes, but I won’t get caught in his trap. At least not this time.

 “I will help you, with one condition.”

 “Sure, go on.”

 “You’ll let me throw you a birthday party this year!” I said grinning at my friend’s already sour look.

 “Anything but not this one.” He said it with a serious look and in his deep voice that always makes me shiver.

 “Buuut.. Felix, I want you to have a party... It’s your 20th birthday, pleeease!” I was whining like a little kid that didn’t get his favourite candy.

 “Why is it so important to celebrate? You know I don’t like parties. So choose something else.”

 I knew he didn’t like parties, but that was just because they reminded him of his father, who threw him an amazing birthday party 5 years ago just to announce that he’s leaving his family right in the middle of it, the reason being that he fell in love with someone else. It was a birthday and goodbye party at the same time. From that day onwards Felix hated parties. He only comes to my birthday party and to our other 7 friends. He turns down all the invitations in campus. I tried to change his mind but he would firmly refuse to go every time. But today was going to be different, I will convince him to accept having a birthday party this year.

 “Felix, don’t you think is time to forget the past and live the present? I know it was hard for you, I was there when it happened, and I know the pain you went through after that. I will always be here for you, I only want you to be happy and forget about it, because now nothing bad can happen at your party anymore, you know that, right?“ I was talking calmly, trying to convince him through my eyes that I’m right. Felix knew that what I was saying was nothing but the truth, but the idea of having a birthday party after so many years was still on debate. I could see how much he was thinking about what I said and what decision he should make from the way he was frowning his eyebrows, and when I decided speak again he beat me to it first.

 “Y/N, I know your intentions are good and all but... I don’t know what to say.”

 “You just have to say “Yes” and I will do the rest. You don’t have to worry because I will make you the most amazing party ever, I promise!” I saw he was still hesitating to answer, so I asked him: “Don’t you trust me?” His response to this was almost instant.

 “Of course I do.”

 “Then say yes!”

 “Fine! Yes...”

 “Yayyy!! I promise I will do my best! Love you Yong-bok!”

 “You only love me when I say yes...” He looks at me playfully this time and I start laughing.

 “I know you love me too even if you don’t say it back!” I say happily hoping to lift up his mood.

  “Yeah, I do.” He said while having an expression that I couldn’t really read on his face... His look was so full of... affection, and something more that I couldn’t catch since he changed his expression into an waiting smile. That snapped me out of my thoughts, realising he was waiting for my help with cleaning and cooking.

 “So, do you know how to make brownies?”

 “Yes, but you didn’t tell me why you need them so urgently?”

 “Oh yeah, Chan hyung told me his grandparents are visiting from Australia tomorrow, and I promised to make them some brownies as an welcome gift.”

“Aww that’s very kind of you, but why would you promise something you can’t do?” I raised an eyebrow at him playfully.

 “I don’t have money to buy a present and the ingredients were already brought by my mother, so I can use them for free. You know I’m a broke student just like you.”

 “Fair enough. Let’s start cleaning first.”

 He got in the military position of salute and shouted “Yes, ma’am!” I chuckled at his cuteness.

 We start to clean the kitchen together and discuss about our classes today and the homework we have to finish for the next week. We’re done with all the work in about half an hour, afterwards we start working on the brownies. By the time we finished baking them, the kitchen was dirty again, but not as bad as the first time.

 Felix was looking at me while biting his lip, a habit of his, then got closer to me with a napkin and started tapping my nose to clean it. I could feel my heart beating faster than it should because of the close proximity between us.

 “You got some flour on your face.” He whispered.

 I couldn’t make my brain send any words to my mouth. I was lost staring at his face; he was wearing blue contact lenses that matched perfectly with his blond fluffy hair. Having him this close allowed me to give a better look at his freckles. They make him look so adorable and that’s always killing me. I felt that I couldn’t breathe properly anymore, so I took the napkin from his hand and started cleaning myself, not before taking a step back to put some distance between us, hoping this would calm my racing heart.

 When I looked back at Felix, he was cleaning the counter with an expressionless face. I didn’t say anything and started washing the dishes, both of us doing their own task quietly.

 After the brownies were done, his mother and sisters came home too. His mother asked me to stay for dinner and I gladly accepted, because I love her cooking. During the dinner Felix was quieter than he normally is, but I brushed off the thought of asking him what happened because I assumed it must be about the party.

 After dinner he drove me home and invited me for lunch tomorrow with the rest of our friends.

 We went for lunch at our regular restaurant where we ordered our usual.

 “So guys, I finally convinced Felix to let me do his birthday party this year and I need your help.” All the boys looked at me like I grew another head and I knew it was because they couldn’t believe me.

 “You really did?” Seungmin asked after he recovered from the shock.

 “Yeah, well after 5 years of putting pressure on him, he finally accepted.” I rolled my eyes dramatically.

 “You’re amazing, Y/N!” Jisung and Hyunjin said in unison very excited.

 “I know, I’m the best.” I said trying to look cool but failed when I started laughing.

 “Ok. So we need to make a meeting without Felix to discuss the details later.” Came from Minho.

 “You should probably stop talking because I’m right here guys, and it’s my party.” My heart melted when I saw Felix’s cute pouting face.

 “You’re right, let’s meet this Sunday to make the plans at my house, ok?” Changbin suggested, to which we all agreed and continued eating our food.

 The Sunday came fast and we all agreed to throw the party at Changbin’s place since his house is big enough and his parents told us they would leave to some friends so we can have all the house for ourselves.

 Felix’s birthday would be on next Friday, so we still got plenty of time to prepare everything, from buying the decorations to inviting all his friends. We bought plenty of food and alcohol and Chan agreed to be the DJ.

 The big day was already here. I decided to wear a grey plaid skirt, a black blouse that exposed my shoulders and clavicles, long earring and finished the outfit with a pair of black heeled boots. As for the make-up, I decided to go with a light natural look and put my hair in a bun.

The party looked exactly how we imagined it to be. Everyone arrived before Felix, and went he came in we all shouted a loud “Happy Birthday, Felix!”

Everyone went to hug and say their congrats to Felix, only I stood frozen on the spot, because at the moment my eyes landed on Felix I swear I forgot about anything else. He always takes my breath away with his looks.

It’s been awhile since I started to think I might develop a one sided crush for my best friend. But now I’m starting to believe it’s something more than just a crush. I don’t know how this happened, but I think I felt in love with Felix. I’d wanna confess to him, but there are two things stopping me – I fear he probably doesn’t feel the same for me, but most importantly, I’m afraid I’ll lose him as a friend. I couldn’t live knowing I lost his friendship. He’s my sunshine, the person I spend most of my time with, he’s the one who truly understands me and knows everything about me. He’s the only one that’s able to make me comfortable enough to show my true self without fearing rejection because he likes me the way I am.. But the problem is that he likes me just as his best friend, nothing more. While here I am, in love with him. I tried to overcome it, push my feelings aside and hoping they’ll fade away, hoping it’s just a crush and nothing more, but being together with him all the time didn’t made this an easy task, it just made me fall even more for him.

Right now Felix was wearing a black leather jacket that he paired with black leather trousers, a white t-shirt. His hair was now a light purple and styled up, exposing his forehead. He looked alsolutely stunning.

He caught me starring at him and that made me blush instantly. He was trying to make eye contact with me, but I was trying to avoid his gaze.

He started coming my way.

“Hi.” He was looking at me with an intense look that made me feel like he could read my mind and and know exactly what I was thinking about.

“Hi. Happy birthday, Felix!” I tried to sound and look as much as possible unaffected by his presence, especially since he was closer than usual.

“What? No hug for me?” he said with a little pouting and I never wanted anything more than to squeeze his cheeks, which I didn’t, instead just giving him a warm hug. He was smelling like lavender, a perfume I gave him on his last birthday. The thought of him wearing this made me smile.

 “Thanks for the party, Y/N.”

 “You don’t have to thank me. Let’s go and have fun, ok?”

 “Sure.”

 I dragged him to our group of friends and we all started to dance. After a few songs we decided to get some drinks. I suggest Felix that he should have fun and get wasted, offert that he turns down, saying he doesn’t wanna do something he might regret tomorrow.

 After a few other songs, Bang Chan played some slow ones. He told me to go have a dance with Felix, saying this is a good chance to try and confess my feelings for him. I told him that I’m not ready and left to get another drink. Bang Chan is the only one that knows about my feelings for Felix, and he promised he won’t tell anyone, but he always tells me that it would be better to tell Felix the truth. He says Felix won’t end our friendship even if he wouldn’t feel the same way for me, so I shoudn’t worry about this; unfortunately I’m too much of a scaredy cat to take initiative.

 I feel a tap on my shoulder so I turn away from the bar to face the person. Surprise, surprise, it’s none other than Felix.

 “Y/N, do you wanna dance with me?”

 “Y-yes.” He caught me off-guard with his question, I didn’t think he would want to dance with me during a slow song.

 “Why did you ask me and not another girl you know? Maybe you can make a girlfriend.” I ask as we are making our way to the dance floor. Even if I don’t wanna see him together with someone else, I think having a girlfriend might make him happy, not to mention that I heard the guys telling him he should find a girlfriend, or at least a girl to have fun with, especially today.

He didn’t answer my question, so I assumed he might’ve not heard me because of the loud music.

When we got to the dance ring he put his hands on my waist and pushed me closer to him. I awkwardly put my hands on his shoulders and he started to speak.

 “I don’t want to dance with another girls.” He said in his low deep voice, sending shivers down my spine.

 “W-why?” I shutter the second time already. My heart started beating so fast that I think he might feel it too, considering how small the space between us is right now.

 “I have something important to tell you. After the party I want to talk privately with you.”

 “Okay.”

 Perfect! Now my mind wild go crazy until the end of the party. What does he want to talk about? He said it’s important, so why wait until the party is over?

He’s biting his lips again and I want nothings else but to kiss him right now. I would need to lean only a bit to finally feel his soft lips on mine.

Why am I even thinking about this when we’re only friends! This is just a simple dance and what he wants to tell me later must be just a simple thanks for organising his party, it’s probably nothing more...I should stop thinking about both his lips and about what he wants to tell me.

I was once again lost in my troughs until I hear him chuckle.

 “My eyes are a little bit higher, you know?”

 I avert my gaze from him to look at the people behind him, I can’t look at his face anymore after he just caught me starring at his lips.... This is so embarrassing. And why is this song so damn long! Chan surely enjoys to see me struggle.

He just laughed at my reaction and after a few seconds the song finally came to an end. As soon as it ended I excused myself lying that I need to use the bathroom, so I won’t do something embarrassing in front of him again.

After that dance I didn’t have another encounter with Felix, and I was glad, because I don’t think my heart could bear more of him right now without going in cardiac arrest.

 The party came to an end and I hoped that maybe Felix forgot that he wanted to talk, but of course that wasn’t the case. He was coming my way looking a little bit nervous and biting his lip.

 “Can you come upstairs in the guest room to talk?”

 “Sure.” I reply equally as nervous as him. I let him lead the way, and while we were passing through Chan I saw him sending me a wink then mouthing a “good luck”. But why?

 After we enter the room, he’s standing right in front of me and locks his eyes with mine. He takes a deep breath before he speaks.

 “Y/N. I wanted to tell you this for a long time already but never had the courage to do it...” he then licks his lips and I follow the action with my eyes.

 Wait.. Is he about to say what I think? Is he maybe trying to confess? Are his feelings towards me the same? Maybe I shoudn’t jump to conclusions and get my hopes up just to be hurt even more in the end, I should let him talk and see what this is about.

 “Y/N? Are you listening to me?” He looks a little amused now at my face. “Because you spaced out a little.”

 “Oh. Yeah, sorry. Please continue.” I manage to say a little flustered now.

 “Actually, what I have to tell you is a confession.... Y/N I liked you for a long time and I thought maybe I could get over you, so I won’t risk losing you as a friend, but as time passed by I just fell more for you and I want you to know that I love you. I did for some time now, but I was too scared to tell you. I understand if you don’t feel the same and want to get some space after what I told you to clear your mind, but please don’t push me away as your friend, because our friendship is very important to me. You are important to me, and I don’t see my life without you being part of it, but I really needed to tell you how I truly feel even with this risk.” He’s looking at me waiting for a reaction but when I try to speak I can’t let any word leave my mouth due to my shook.

 Did I heard him right? Did he really said that he loves me?

 When I see him looking at me with so much affection and nervously waiting for me to say something in return, I decide that words are not enough. So I get on my tip toes, put my hands at the back of his neck and brig him into a kiss. Our first kiss. His lips are so soft and I already feel addicted to them. At first he didn’t responded to my sudden action, but after a moment I feelt his lips moving against mine gently. After bit he reaches to hold my jawline whit one hand and puts the other one on my waist to bring me as close as possible and deepens the kiss. I hope he can feel me pouring all my feelings for him in this kiss. I kiss him with passion and love and try to give my all. I feel fireworks exploding in me. I don’t want this to ever end.

 After we break the kiss, he looks at me with so much love and adoration in his eyes. His beautiful smile is bigger than I ever saw it on him and I’m sure I smile the same at him because this is the happiest moment in my life.

 “I love you too, Felix. I did it for a long time, but I never had the courage to admit my feelings either because I was also scared I’ll lose you.”

 “Really? Wow we really are made for each other.” He laughs cutely at our similarities in thinking.

 “I can’t believe we could have been together for a long time already, but we let overthinking stay in our way.”

 “Well nothing can come between us from now on.”

 He then places a quick peck on my lips and grinns at my blushing face.

 “I’m glad that now I can say how I truly feel about you out loud, not just in my head.”

 “And what would that be?”

 “That you are the most beautiful girl, kindest person I know, you are really smart, that you’re driving me crazy when you act cute and the only thing I want to do hold you in my arms and never let you go, which now I can because you are mine, sweetheart.”

I’m a blushing mess in Felix’s arms now and I try to hide my face in his chest so he won’t see it, but of course he did so he put his hands on my face to make me look at him again. He brings me closer, then whispers: “Will you make me the honor to become you boyfriend?”

 “Yes!” I can feel my cheeks already hurting from so much smiling, but I just can’t help myself.

 “I love you.”

 “I love you, too.”

 Then he kisses me again.

masterlist

[beecherdrysdale]

Hiii my bbs, I hope you are well. Get ready for a longgg post.

Some opening thoughts:

Brigid and I will be buying new chains for our boys. Esp for Quinner because he doesn’t have one and I want to start seeing this 🥵 look. Kesh care to join us?

- a baby that looks like Jamie and has his cute freckles. Brigid knows what I’m taking about.

Also brigid would like like Jamie’s beanie vv much so now we both are in that club because I have quinners and Brigid has Jamie’s.

- Mykonos is gorgeous. That is that.

- I am loving Brigid tracing Jamie’s freckles while he sleeps🥺 and I find it adorable that Brigid can only sleep with Jamie :)this would so be insta worthy photos.

- hehe yes to getting beeped by machines!! Okkk I’m glad, so Lexi is busy with Quinner means that we are just getting coffeeee. We aren’t like you and Jamie who make out in arenas.

- hehe Jamie would just be glaring at cozzy when he sits down, and cozzy becomes slightly terrified so he gives up the seat but still wants $50 because he wants to buy himself something on the flight. He goes to sit w his sleeping buddy devon. Kesh and Kirby are just to cool to deal with our crazy shit in the morning.

-no sore neck for Dylan. Thank you brigid. Yes to all of these soft moments. Playing with each other’s hair, the freckle tracing and the slightly heated make out that you would be having while Dylan is sleeping because I don’t think he could handle that lol. Another thought jamie just helping you fidget less because you keep hitting the back of Bowen’s seat and he’s sleeping.

- Kesh and Kirby are like the star couple, they are just perfect with each other. I understand why you wouldn’t want to know us esp when quinton Braden and Peyton start to throw snacks over the seats.

-honestly if I had that much coffee I would probably throw up, but kudos to Quinner for passing out after consuming all of that. I want freckles kisses but also I would play with jacks rope bracelets and w his hair 🥺. You would probably get really annoyed because of my leg tapping so Quinner also needs to calm that down as well.

- me slapping Ryan to wake up is just vv funny to me. Yess to them admiring our hair . Whenever I travel to warm places my skin always clears uppp so it’s nice.

-yay we are all sharing rooms w our bbs. hey hey

hey I’m not that dirty minded but like how can you resist? I don’t wanna hear to much from the two of you I mean it 😏. Omg I just had an idea imagine everybody just running into each other’s rooms and chasing each other. I hope we don’t walk in on you two lol. And we all settle in one room and have a slumber party lol. Face masks w the boys ‘I’m sorry why is it green’ ‘calm down, it’s a cucumber face mask it’ll hydrate your skin’ and then when they take them off the boys are glowing heheh.

- ok so I’ve bought an entire new wardrobe for this trip lol l. Ooo shopping would be vv fun. In this reality we have money hehe. Jamie carrying you into the water is 🤌 and I love it. Me and Quinner still need to be chaotic so we push each other into waves and then Brigid and jamie join. Meanwhile Kesh and Kirby are just chilling. Yesss with the hair slicked back and just wrapping your legs around their waists and maybeeeee kissing.

-finally me and Brigid are on the same team. Like Ryan you hit me in the face brigid will hit you 2x harder. Yess to all of us having moments on the beach at night.

- apparently we had some eventful nights😏 ehich I love even some of the boys because they want to have summer flings so no early morning for us. I love hotel breakfast as well esp if they have a buffet because you can eat as much as you want.

- cliff diving: ofc Brigid and Dylan go first because they are literally not scared of anything. aww you grabbing Jamie’s hand while he’s terrified. While that’s happening me and Ryan are hyping each other up, we slap each other on the backs etc. And we start to run and I get Quinner to come even if he’s terrified. I’d probably yell ‘let’s fucking goooo’ Brigid I’m making you the person that yells Marco the entire time lol cuz you are the swimmer of the group. Hehe us blaming Kesh and Kirby because they couldn’t figure out how to get out of the water. just a thought, wouldn’t it be better if you stay with the boys just in case they have trouble swimming and you can help them. And maybe I can go with Dylan and bond with him a bit. Any way works tho :). Hehe once everybody gets to the beach we are just crawling because we are tired from swimming and we just sleep on the beach lol.

- I’m good with dong half and half- snorkelling and scuba. Awww you holding Jamie’s hand and pulling him along. Same with me and Quinner and kesh and Kirby. I was terrified lol . Oo that’s so cool that you got to swim with turtles. That’s great for 8 year old Brigid:)).

Ooo a catamaran is so fun as well. Anyways dylan is just talented at everything. So he plays guitar and maybe he can help me reawaken my guitar skills. So I just watch him lol. Finally somebody who doesn’t make fun of me listening to the mamma Mia sound track. I love it sm and it just gives off the biggest Greece vibes. Aww and all of us just singing softly. And then just cuddling with the boys in the sun and me taking a bunch of photos! Aloe Vera it is😏😏.

Side story: so brigid you are playing music on the speakers while we are on the boat and Jamie goes to change the song and sees that there is an adorable photo of you and him as your wallpaper and he asks ‘you have me as your lock screen’ and you blush and say yes and he gives you the biggest kiss and then the rest of the boys are like awwww and all compare lock screens. And then Quinner looks at mine and smiles same w Kirby.

Yayyy us dressing cute all of hair is in natural waves/curls and getting dinner at a cute restaurant. and then exploring the nightlife in Mykonos. Ooo the drinks are a plus to us being chaotic at night. Like we would laugh so much at night. Awww kisses under the moon and then backkkk to the hotel for spicy evening pt 2

Side note: so imagine we already had dinner and we just start exploring Mykonos and we come across a live band playing outside and Jamie sees people dancing and then asks you to dance:) and you ofc agree and you just have the most intimate slow dance 🥺 and you just stare into his eyes and then tuck your face into his neck. Kirby also sees and asks kesh to dance and they are just admiring each other. And then Quinner sees me pouting and crying over you two and asks me to dance as well and we also slow dance. The rest of boys also find some ladies to dance with.

Next day: we decide to explore Mykonos like going to see the ruins and historical sights. So we all set off in the morning. Since Greece has a lot of alleys and stairs everyone some of us ( me and Ryan I fall down the stairs sm ) accidentally fall down the stairs ‘oh for fucks sake why do I always have to fall’ ‘what about me Lexi?’ ‘ you’re a hockey player you fall all the time anyway’ so we just bicker and you guys laugh and Quinner helps me up. ‘Hey Brigid we heard you and Jamie last night’ ‘shut up Cole we saw that girl sneak out of your room lol’ so everyone is just chirping each other the entire time. We get to the historic sights and we are all in awe and take a bunch of photos. Then we go get lunch and just chill. After that we all return to the hotel in the evening and we all get dinner. All in all I am loving this trip. It’s just so great.

Also I realized that pro tennis players go there during off season and so if I see one of them I will totally ask for a photo and go play tennis with them one afternoon. ‘Omg guys Serena William is hereeee’ and I just run off lol.

- another part might be happening but I might start with our Europe tripppppppp.

Ly thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy 🥺.

omgggg all of this is fucking amazing!! i love all of it, and ofc you guys lexi and kesh💕 anyways longggg post ahead

ok so first some random thoughts

ok so first of all new chains for the boyssss. quinner needs to start wearing one for lexi asap, and kesh and i are getting new ones for kirby and jamie. tbh they’re just as much gifts for us as for them lol

omg yessss i want a bb jamie. and his freckles 🥺🥺 i’m sorry this child is going to be so pale tho

hehe all of us out here stealing beanies. jamie’s beanie just looks so soft and i want to wear and then i can play with his hair better when he’s not wearing it too lol. and ofc lexi gets credit for starting this trend with quinner 

ok moving on to the flight lol

pleaseee i just want to trace jamie’s freckles and play with his hair while he sleeps. and us only being able to sleep with each other 🥰🥺 hehe please someone take pics for us

lmaooo yes lexi is busy GETTING COFFEE with quinner. and no need to bring jamie and i into this lexi, please and thank you

hehe cozzy making jamie give him $50 to switch seats so he can buy food on the flight. it’s ok cozzy isn’t really mad bc he can sleep better by devon anyways, he doesn’t have to deal with dyl and i’s crazy shit. lmaooo love kesh and kirby ignoring us

lol you’re welcome dyl for keeping you comfy, you better be getting me food to pay me back later. and then me and jamie just being soft 🥺🥺 tracing freckles and playing with each others hair. awww just peppering each others faces with kisses and then it somehow turns into a makeout. good thing dyl is asleep so he doesn’t slap one of us lmao. omg yessss jamie holding my hand or putting a hand on my leg so i’ll stop fidgeting the whole time so bo can sleep lol

awww yes kesh and kirby are adorable together, we love that for them. haha honestly same, i can see why they don’t wanna sit by us

 hehe quinner just has insanely high coffee tolerance, so he’s passed out on the plane lmao. but that gives lexi the perfect opportunity to play with his hair and rope bracelet. hehe he might pretend to still be asleep for a while after he wakes up bc it feels good. and then once he wakes up he kisses your freckles and he just puts a hand on your leg so you’ll stop kicking my chair (ty quinner)

lmaoooo i want to see you slapping ryan awake. and then us looking cute with our curly/wavy hair and our clear skin

ok so first day in greece

all of us get to share rooms with our bbs:) also i said we would try to keep quiet, i don’t know what more you want from jamie and i. i don’t think you and quinner are exactly silent either at night lmao. omg yesss running into each other’s rooms playing hotel tag! hehe i advise if you see a singular piece of clothing on our floor then you leave, bc i keep my room freakishly neat. but anywayssss i would dominate hotel tag, i love that game and i have a lot of practice lol

omg yes slumber party!! we can watch movies and stuff together and make the guys do face masks lmao. ‘why is it green’ ‘wait mine’s grey’ ‘i don’t want this shit on my skin’ ‘guys just put them on, it’ll be good for you’ omg yessss when we take them off they’re just glowing, love that for them

hehe all of us girls going shopping together to get cute new clothes bc guess what? we have moneyyyyy. and all the guys are just like where did they go

hehe yes jamie carrying me and then quinner and lexi pushing each other in behind us lol. but then ofc jamie and i join bc we’re (read: i’m) overly competitive. and kesh and kirby just chilling on the beach lol. and then i loveeee moments in the water, just like the slicked back hair and wrapping legs around waists and definitely maybe kissing

hehe yes lexi and i are the dream team. ryan i will beat you tf up if i have to lol. awww and cute moments on the beach at night 🥰

next dayyyy

hehe late breakfast bc we had eventful nights and don’t wanna get up early. and then i’m eating sm at the buffet lol and the guys are just like how? bc i’m just a very hungry person in general lol

hehe ok cliff diving: obvi me and dyl first bc we’re the daredevils, but i also pull jamie with us bc i don’t want to leave my bb behind. and then you and ryan hype each other up and you guys come next but then you pull quinner with you too, bc you don’t want to leave him behind. hehe i’m not being marco the whole time sorry, whoever gets tagged becomes marco. hehe and then once we’re ready to get out we blame kesh and kirby that we don’t know how lol ‘wow thanks mom and dad, how helpful’ jk we still love you kesh!! honestly i’m down to either, stay with the guys in the water or climb up, i did do rock climbing for a couple years tho so idk if that makes a difference. but then also they probably need help swimming and you want to bond with dyl, so honestly up to you:) 

snorkeling and scuba diving - all of us holding hands with our bfs and swimming with them🥺 hehe yes little brigid was really just living a wild life lol. anywaysss then we’re back on the catamaran and dyl’s just playing music and then we give lexi a turn and she’s surprisingly good for having not played in so long. and then singing mama mia is so fun! and just hanging out on the boat in general and having fun and cuddling with our boys. and then ofc we have to use aloe vera lol

hehe yess i have aux on the boat, but at some point i just ask jamie to go change the song and he knows my password, but i forgot he doesn’t know i changed my wallpaper. so then he’s sees the pic of us cuddling together in the airport and he’s just like ‘i’m your wallpaper’ and i just blush and go ‘well, yeah’ and he just comes over and hugs me and gives me a kiss. so then everyone’s comparing wallpapers lol, and so quinner and kirby are vv happy when they see lexi and kesh’s

yesss all of us looking cute and exploring mykonos nightlife. haha everyone’s at least a little tipsy bc it’s super easy to get drinks there. hehe all of us super loud and laughing and stuff, love that. and then moonlight kisses🥰 

awww yes, we’re exploring and we see a live band so jamie asks me to dance. and i blush but ofc i say yes, so we’re just having the softest most intimate slow dance🥺 staring into each other’s eyes at first, but then i tuck my face into his chest bc i get nervous with eye contact. and then ofc kirby has to ask kesh bc they’re #couplegoals and they’re just admiring each other while they dance. and quinner isn’t the best with social cues so he doesn’t pick up on it right away, but then he sees you’re sad and asks you to dance with him and then you two are adorable together. and the other guys ask some girls to dance, and guess who ends up coming back to the hotel with us that night lmao

next dayyyyy

oooh yes going to see the greek ruins, and there are a tonnn of alleys and stairs and stuff. so ofc you and ryan fall down them (and i by some miracle don’t). hehe you: ‘why tf am i always falling?’ him: ‘what about me tho lexi?’ you: ‘you’re a hockey player, it’s kind of in your job description’ and you guys keep fighting lmao, but ofc quinner helps you up 😍

and the chirpssss that would be going on all day lmaoooo ‘hey brigid, we heard you and jamie last night’ ‘oh fuck off, i saw a different girl come out of your room this morning cole. what are you doing, trying to go through every girl in mykonos by the time we leave?’

and then ofc sightseeing and taking lots of insta photos, and then we all go to get lunch together. imagine the people who have to serve our table, i feel sorry for them lol. and then we could just go back to the beach or smtg before dinner and then back to the hotel 😏

final thoughts

at some point lexi sees a really good tennis player and goes to get her picture taken and see if she can practice with them, and kesh and i being the good friends that we are chase after her to take the pictures lol. hehe and then lexi abandons us to go play tennis with them for the afternoon

ugggh this was amazing and i love it, i’m excited for another part of europe, i’m down with either bc both would be amazing

ly too 🥰 it was amazing, i was so happy to read it

[loki-the-trikster-god]

hiiiiii

thanks ur mega cool too ;)

ikr sundays are damn depressing idk why it’s just something about the back to school dread

interesting. did you know eating cheese or any dairy before going to sleep causes weird dreams as well? idk why i know this but 🤷‍♀️

yayyy i’m happy for u guys :) glad you have found someone that makes you smile just from thinking about them

yeah i’m like hella short it’s really sad tbh. omg i imagine u would look amazing. gAsP and with red hair *applause*. ur fashion sense is just 👌 my dear friend it’s excellent.

omg yes. i would wear a cloak over a winter jacket any day. unfortunately canada gets so fucking cold that my limbs would freeze off if i did that, but i can still dream!

glad to be a source of self esteem friend bc god knows everyone else on this website needs some more. i mean self deprecating jokes are my jam, but confidence is excellent too

mmmm. i find that most caramel popcorn is like sickeningly sweet, and i have yet to find something actually edible of the caramel variety. o well regular popcorn is yummy enough for me

motivation is so rare. almost as rare as common sense and having more than one brain cell.

yes plz do and let me know what you think of it. when i went to new york for my birthday two years ago i literally panicked bc i didn’t know there was no tim hortons and since we were going out for breakfast i was like “well what the fuck do i eat then?”. it’s trippy sometimes tbh

hmm. favourite type of dragon? i don’t really have a favourite. just any dragon works for me so long as it’s not trying to set my ass on fire, u know the basics. yEs and i bet our dragon will be attractive too, bc u know attractive people attract attractive things.

that’s a lot of the same word in one sentence

ooh so you’ve been acting for a while! that’s cool. i literally just decided i wanted to go into acting when i watched the julie and the phantoms behind the scenes bc it looked so amazing! i just love the experience tbh

now i have a question for u: what was the reason you came onto tumblr?

*waves* adios amigo i hafta go write an english essay now sigh

until next time :)

Whatsuppppppppppp

I’m so tired and I don’t wanna do things but I’ve got so much work to do :(

Oh well

Sundays suck to me cause I have to move between my parents houses

Oh weird I didn’t know that dairy is a funky food man. It sometimes sets my illness off so I don’t eat it much late at night but yeah I feel like there’s a correlation between me having chocolate and me having whack dreams so. Hm.

Short people are adorable!! (read: my bf) Every time I read these I go UGH I WANT RED HAIR. Right now I’m wearing a pink ombré button up I bought yesterday and it would look SO GOOD with the red hair. My hair is red around the temples but then just brown and augggh. Anyhow.

Ah yes right the ~cold~. In my 🎶 Canadian crime show🎶 ((due south)) the dude was wearing this massive coat with a thick collar and it looked so comfy. I love coats and cold weather I think they’re both extremely nice. Do you like the cold? I would hope so given your location. How warm does it get?

Despite the fact that self deprecating jokes are very funny, confidence is just straight up way more fun! We did do some things in theater to improve our confidence, including having little fake interviews like we were quirky celebrities. That was extremely fun.

Caramel popcorn on its own is indeed intensely sweet and nearly inedible. However, the particular bag I was eating had cheddar and caramel together, which, although it sounds gross, actually provided the perfect balance if you ate them in pairs. So it was a lovely experience.

My brain cells have decided to do something rn, for the first time in CENTURIES and they will not do it for long. I bs’ed and recorded my orchestra, four months of work in two afternoons. Im simply a legend 😌 (/j). So now I’m finishing my history and I might even do some English too. I’ve got like a third of it left to go but some of the stuff I need is at moms. Oh well.

That’s valid most dragons are extremely cool. I think our dragon should be very cuddly so we don’t have to be cold during the Canadian winters. We can just snuggle the dragon!! The very pretty dragon just like us :)))

Oof that’s relatable I was left to fend for myself on Monday before theater and I lost my mind trying to decide what I wanted to eat. I ended up getting a subway pizza lol. It was very tasty. You can only order at the McDonald’s with the app which is annoying, but I guess subway is fast food too so like. It counts.

Yeah acting is That Thing I Do™️. It was in 6th grade that my director told my parents they had lost me to the theater and I temporarily felt like Rachel Barry from glee. I don’t feel like her anymore, however, because she is a bitch. (I’ve been watching glee compilations lately. I watched the first couple seasons a year or two ago and then got bored. But acting is so delightful it makes me happy.

I joined tumblr with a friend (who isn’t active right now) because all the gay kids did it and we were (are) gay. It was two summers ago that this happened. How about you?

Today you get a very long response, enjoy :))

To Clyde, my ghostie. By the way, your new aesthetic vibes!!

See u dude!!

[atopearth]

Piofiore: Fated Memories Part 5 - Gilbert Redford Route

Yayyy Gil time! I'll ignore his weirdness in Orlok's route because I know he's cool at heart hahaha. Anyway, it was so cool how he just gave the people around him money due to the commotion with Luca stealing money from a random. He obviously takes care of people well and tries to keep peace with everyone as long as they're in his governing area. I think in terms of all the routes, I like how this one handled the "getting taken to the Mafia manor" part the most. Yang appearing by her bedside is nightmare fuel though lmao, that would be so scary. But anyway, her running away and bumping into Gil is very convenient but I'll take it because I can imagine him randomly walking around enjoying scenery or doing patrols lol. What I liked most though was that in this route, Lili gets to properly assess her own situation with Gil, and she properly requests his help because she understands that she's in danger for some reason and he's the only Mafia boss that can help her if she doesn't trust the others after that gun fight. I also liked how Gil was very upfront with the fact that he's protecting her because he likes beauties, but also because he knows that she must be important for whatever reason if Yang and them are all after her, so this will most likely be a beneficial position for him if he can keep her. And I think that's what's been lacking for the other routes - proper communication from the beginning. I like how unlike in Dante's route, Gil properly told Lili how everything is going at the church and it's kinda cute how in the other routes, she's forced to stay at the manor most of the time, but here, Gil wants her to be comfortable and do what she wants, so he'll accompany her around town and stuff. It's kinda funny how in this route, she's the one that's like shouldn't I stay here in the manor instead of going outside for my safety hahaha. Anyway, when Gil reassured Lili that the safest place in Burlone was next to him, I wanted to squeal, he's so cute but confident, I love it🤣

Lmao, I love how Oliver called Gil an idiot for picking up Lili off the street especially when she's being chased by other Mafia😂 I love how Gil pisses Oliver off with something new every time he says something hahahah, I can feel Oliver's stress🤣 On the other hand, Gil is my favourite type of leader, I just love how up and personal with all the people in town he protects, and I love how everyone loves and respects him in the same way. If I had to compare him to someone, I would think of Laguna from Final Fantasy VIII, because they're both people who go along with the flow and are inherently kind to others as a part of their personality, they don't even need to try because it's so ingrained into them, and I guess that's their charm. However, it seems that Gil is a ladies man whereas Laguna is adorably shy haha. Okay, I'll admit that I have a weak spot for guys with an eyepatch so dang, the gelato CG is so niceeeee. It really ended up being just like a date as Gil said haha. Gil being so good at picking out dresses and hair accessories for Lili is pretty cool haha. What a riot for Gil himself to be arrested. I wonder if this means the power balance is shaking now~ Anyway, I really like Lili and Gil's relationship because they're both so upfront with their questions and both answer each other's questions properly, I think it's really nice. I think Gil also really appreciated it when she told him that she would believe him whatever his answer was (if he did counterfeit money), because she trusts the person that he is, and I agree so. Trust Gil to be the one that Roberto can't really refute against because he's so sincerely honest about wanting to protect the people just as much as him, it was cute to see Roberto less crazy and emotional haha. Lmao at Roberto's tunnel vision though hahaha, all he was focused on was Gil, he didn't even realise Lili was there with him hahahah. I think it's really cute how Gil loves dressing Lili up but wouldn't force her to wear anything she doesn't want to wear.

I was so excited when they agreed to have Dante send a bodyguard for Lili as a compromise with Gil, because it was obvious it would be Leo and I adore him!!🥰 It was really sweet of Lili to thank Dante for protecting her all these years. I hope Luca has a good ending in this route, he's such a good boy. Gil saving Lili from some guy coming on to her was cliche but it was still cute to see because it was Gil hahaha. Loll, Gil acting like a little kid excited about the new guns and stuff was cute, to be fair though, I get all happy when packages are delivered too🤣 When they started gambling, it was obvious that Lili was going to be a "prize", and that Gil wouldn't allow that, so it would have to be Lili herself who agrees to it. Anyway, even though it was expected, I think it was probably heartwarming for Gil to see how much Lili trusts him that she's willing to bet herself on him winning. Omggg after realising that the casino is dodgy with the counterfeit money thing, I honestly didn't expect Lili to suggest the church as a meeting place for the Mafia bosses lmao. Like yeah they're civil (most of the time) but it doesn't change the fact that she could be endangering Sister Sofia and them if anything were to happen. Lmao at saying God doesn't mind them talking about the stuff they do if he knows it's helping the city kinda thing hahaha. I mean, yeah God is understanding I guess loll. It was nice to see Gil's perspective towards his feelings for Lili, I buy their relationship, they're cute~🥰 I never knew I needed a reasonable Roberto in my life but I guess I do now, he's actually pretty cool haha. I also didn't realise I needed a CG of Gil putting earrings on Lili because omg it's sweet, I love the putting on necklaces or earrings etc CGs, they're usually so beautiful🥺 It's so adorable how Gil is concentrating so hard in the CG trying to put the earrings on for Lili, I love it. I never really thought about Gil's eyepatch but it's nice to know that it's because his left eye is weak, so it's easier for him to focus with just his right eye, but because of that, he can't gauge distances well apparently, and that's why guns work well for him. I guess when you put it into that perspective, you can kinda see why he would have quite a disadvantage against people like Orlok and Yang who are apt at fighting close range. It's kinda sad to think about his eye being weak because he got hit by his abusive father, but at least it led to him having a better future in Italy than staying like that in America. Personally, I'm really glad that there's so much progress with Roberto, mainly glad for him and Marco since after this, Roberto can definitely become an even greater person and policeman, and also glad for Marco because he puts in a lot of effort hoping that Roberto will be able to understand that not everything is so black and white. It's just a sweet thing to see. It's also nice to see that in this route, Luca will have the chance to live, that's something I've definitely been hoping for.

It was really cool of Lili to straight up tell Gil how she felt towards him. Anyway, that went from sweet to sad. I was honestly so worried for Oliver, especially since he's such a faithful guy to Gil and the only thoughts he had before he was nearly killed was that he needed to be at the trial to clear Gil of his charges, so he couldn't die yet. I'm glad Marco and Roberto made it in time to save him, but I hope Nicola is okay... Although I'm sure Dante would have wavered, it was nice to see him level-headed and calm over Nicola's "capture" and understood that even if he did listen to them, it didn't necessarily mean Nicola was safe, so he might as well do what he should to protect Burlone. Anyway, the trial has a very incompetent prosecutor, not only does he show his emotions, make careless remarks and not seem to know anything, I have no idea why if this trial was "so important" they would have someone like him be the prosecutor. Anyway, I thought it was going to be more dramatic when Gil went into the flames to capture the Direttore but I guess not loll. Seeing Luca so healthy made me so happy~ Lmao at Luca and Oliver being on Lili's side when she was mad at Gil, they didn't even care about what she was mad at, they just knew he was definitely wrong hahaha. Wait, that was the best ending?! So rushed and anti-climactic lol, it was like yay we captured the guy, the end lol. Yeah that story was boring lol. But I do like how in this ending, the Mafia are living peacefully with each other, Roberto isn't so obstinate and Luca is happily alive. But is Nicola dead? That's sad if he is.. Lmao at Gil getting Lili all dressed up just to take her to a hotel and take it off loll, I gotta admit though, that red dress she was too embarrassed to wear before is really beautiful on her, I can see why Gil wanted to see her wear it lol. I liked how Gil got to use those new weapons he bought in the good ending lol. Anyway, the tragic ending is rather..awkward? Gil being found guilty was expected, and I guess even though it was super dodgy, if they're corrupted it's understandable lol, but I just found Orlok dying was so random lol. Like excuse me?? Orlok is the one that prides himself for being fast and alert, how could he get killed by some random?? He's someone even Yang has trouble with lol. I also find it rather silly that considering Dante is supposedly righteous and always wants to be "fair", he's okay with sacrificing Gil to gain the continued support of the church to protect Burlone lol. It's kinda sad that in the end Gil refused to take Lili with him no matter what even though it killed them both on the inside, but I personally think Lili should have expressed her feelings better to him so that he would reconsider. Still sad but I think the other tragic endings are better.

Overall, I honestly really like Gil. He's cool, he's kind, he's sweet, he's the whole package with how much of a gentleman he is and how charismatic he is with others. I also loved how much Oliver cared for him over his own life, it's like Nicola and Dante without the obsession hahaha. However, I do think Gil's route was pretty lacking. Not only was the counterfeit bills plot rather boring, the ending for it was so short and inconclusive because it was obvious the Direttore was behind most of it but why?! I don't feel like I learnt anything more than I did before. As for the romance, it suffers from the cliche of Gil doing every gentlemanly thing possible to make you swoon over him, in which I admit that it did make me really happy and I did enjoy it, but in terms of the events themselves, sometimes they were rather silly and more gentlemanly for the sake of the stereotype rather than being from Gil himself such as Gil insisting on going further with their relationship only after everything is resolved and then once it is, he can't "stop" himself from desiring her like lmao geez he's constantly lusting after her it felt like his gentlemanly acts before were a facade hahaha. Anyway, so yeah even though I do like Gil, I do think he suffers from being more of a stereotype than a proper "character" to me. Nevertheless, I still enjoyed the route because it was cute to see Lili and him have sweet little moments and build up their bond. I personally liked the Lili in this route the most because I thought she seemed the most mature, logical and honest with her thoughts and was straightforward about them with Gil, so extra points for that imo. Anyway if I had to pick favourite characters, it would definitely be in the order of Yang, Gil, Dante and then Nicola and Orlok tie, but when it comes to their route, it would be Yang, Gil and Nicola tie, Dante and then Orlok hahaha. Yes, Yang is practically perfect in terms of his character, VA, route and all the varying endings, I loved it so much I would play it again but I honestly can't say the same for the others lol. On to the finale!!