#I have tried every trick in the book but I can't get over my fear of them :(

[softichill]

Man. Spiders

[jessource]

prompts:　ttpd, the anthology by taylor swift.

your location, you forgot to turn it off.

the only thing that's left is the manuscript, one last souvenir from my trip to your shores

could it be enough to just float in your orbit?

quick, quick, tell me something awful, like you are a poet trapped inside the body of a finance guy.

i just don't understand how you don't miss me.

now and then she rereads the manuscriptof the entire torrid affair.

if you wanna tear my world apart, just say you've always wondered.

if comfort is a construct, i don't believe in good luck.

i move through the world with a broken heart.

they killed cassandra first, 'cause she feared the worst.

don't want money, just someone who wants my company.

say it once again with feeling.

even statues crumble if they're made to wait.

we here-by conduct the post portem.

what doesn't kill you makes you awake.

they tried to warn you about me.

i'm not a doner, but i'd give you my heart if you wanted.

i got cursed like eve got bitten.

i hate it here so i will go to secret gardens in my mind.

i feel so high school every time i look at you.

I look in people's windows like i'm some deranged weirdo.

there wouldn't be this if there hadn't been you.

she wrotе headlines in the local paper, laughing at each baby step i'd take.

one bad seed kills the garden.

when the truth comes out, it's quiet.

you see, i was a debutante in another life.

you have a favorite spot on the swing set.

the empathetic hunger descends.

i'm addicted to the 'if only'.

he said that if the sex was half as good as the conversation was, soon they'd be pushin' strollers. soon it was over.

oh, we must stop meeting like this.

way to go, tiger.

i built a legacy that you can't undo.

you said some things that i can't unabsorb, you turned me into an idea of sorts.

i may never open up the way i did for you.

he was a cad, wanted her bad just like any good trophy hunter.

tell me about the first time you saw me.

they knew, they knew, they knew the whole time.

i don't think you've changed much.

you have no room in your dreams for regrets.

they set my life in flames.

i thought it was just goodbye for now.

i loved you the way that you were.

you're a just ruler covered in mud, you look ridiculous.

i'm there most of the year, 'cause i hate it here.

you saw my bones out with somebody new who seemed like he would've bullied you in school.

how did it end? i can't pretend like i understand.

this place made me feel worthless.

i wanna find you in a crowd, just to hide from you.

quick, quick. tell me something awful.

i won't confess that i waited, but i let the lamp burn.

i can't forgive the way you made me feel.

Buried down deep

out of your reach the secret we all vowed to keep it from you in sweetness.

splendidly selfish, charmingly helpless.

old habits die screaming.

i'm lonely, but i'm good.

in my fantasies, i rise about it.

forgive me, [name], please know that i tried.

if i sell my apartment and you have some kids with an internet starlet. will that make your memory fade from this scarlet maroon?

behind her back, her best mates laughed.

you needed me, but you needed drugs more, and i can't watch it happen.

she's the albatross, she is here to destroy you.

i'll tell you one thing, honey. i can tell when somebody still wants me.

were you makin' fun of me?

nostalgia is a mind's trick.

i read about it in a book when I was a precocious child.

does it feel alright to now know me?

excellent fun 'til you get to know her.

life was always easier on you.

tell me all your secrets, all you'll ever be.

it wasn't a fair fight.

if i die screaming, i hope you hear it.

i can confirm she made a curious child, ever reviled by everyone except her own father.

are you gonna marry, kiss or kill me?

i'm bitter, but i swear i'm fine.

all that time you were throwin' punches, i was buildin' somethin'.

one less temptress, one less dagger to sharpen.

i'm hearing voices like a madman.

you said you were gonna grow up, then you were gonna come find me.

but i can't forget the way you made me heal.

they nicknamed her 'the bolter'.

wise men once said 'wild winds are death to the candle'.

now i wanna sell my house and set fire to all my clothes.

i'm gonna get you back.

push the reset button, we're becomin' something new.

i'm watchin' american pie with you on a saturday night.

i'm an aston martin that you steered straight into the ditch.

[sinbadalexandros]

Please help by donating to my book ‘I Hide Among the Words” to make it across the finish line to publication. PayPal.Me link: paypal.me/forcedevolutio…

I Hide Among the Words

By Sinbad Alexandros

Poetry and Prose from within a schizophrenic's mind, heart and soul. Come explore, find me, and maybe a little of  yourselves. We are not so different.

322 pieces of my own work written over the last 40 years and 14 by my protege & fiance, Jaira Gena, in the final chapter of the book

tinyurl.com/Soul-Poetry

This is the first time I have written something which I said to, as a quote, and it became something else. First, a 4-line poem, and then a poetic story verse where I try to explain something to a friend. What's unusual about it is I tried to write it from the female perspective for her. Both works share the same name.

"Cages 1"

{ 4-line poem / quote}

"Not all cages,

are of metal, wood, or stone.

Sometimes we consign ourselves,

to a prison of flesh, blood, and bone."

"Cages 2"

{ Poetical Story Verse }

I feel chained up, like I'm all tied down,

but I'm lying in the park, lazily upon the ground.

Can't figure out what's up, don't know what's wrong,

so, I do some daydreaming, while listening to a song.

The next song begins to play, the lyrics strike deep to my core,

they make me hurt in every way, and there is no mystery anymore.

I see people fight like children, every day they scream and yell,

they act like complete animals; it feels like we’re living in hell.

I think no one understands me, no way they could feel the same,

our lives are so very different, and most think it's a big game.

I feel broken and damaged, in this there is no crime,

but others did this to me, with their actions over time.

As the days grow colder, and the light becomes dim,

my mind begins to wonder, will I sink, or will I swim?

I wish to know freedom, and experience real love,

please send me an angel, from the sky up above.

After long years of searching, I finally meet someone new,

who treats me so special, to keep me from being blue.

We go out on some dates, and I have an amazing time,

I wonder if he's like the others, Will he also commit a crime?

I want him to hold me, and to kiss my sweet lips,

yet I'm afraid all he wants, is only between my hips.

I hope he won’t hurt me; his love feels oh so real,

he is different from others, and makes me start to reel.

I talk to him of my fears, and try to drive him away,

he stands his ground firmly, and says, “I'm here to stay.” 

He speaks to my heart, with love in his voice,

to give it reassurance, he made the right choice.

We talked of our bad times, and seeing tragedy’s vision,

then what he did to escape, from his own lonely prison.

And I now realize not all cages, are of metal, wood, or stone.

Sometimes we consign ourselves, to a prison of flesh, blood, and bone.

But every jail can be opened, no matter how solid its pawls,

by offering love and compassion, you can bring down the walls.

He’s healing my damaged heart, and wishes to unshatter my soul,

I wonder if he's strong enough. Can he reach such a lofty goal?

Something has started now, I’m not sure I can finish,

and if it all goes wrong, the man I love will diminish.

We take things slowly, setting our own pace,

leaving those around us, to fight the rat race.

And each day gets better, than the ones before,

being given more reasons, to protect a man I adore.

Perhaps it’s manifest destiny, or just a simple trick of life,

all that time longing for love, and now I’m becoming a wife.

[mailmiocuoredipietratremaancora]

I never wrote something from a piece of media before, I never wrote a fan fiction or anything like that, but here we are. It’s almost 5am, I’m not sleepy at all and I just rewatched GO 2, so… I hope you’ll enjoy it.

Sorry for any mistakes: English is not my native language.

As Jane Austen would write it

Aziraphale and Crowley have just foiled the end of the world - again. They’re side by side, immersed in a great silence. Astonished, neither of them has the courage to say anything: Crowley cannot comprehend that he has been saved by his angel, by the same angel who abandoned him; Aziraphale, who wanted to save the only being in the world he truly loves from the beginning, is terrified by the idea that that same being no longer loves him. Until, in the middle of nowhere and accompanied only by the sound of the wind, the song of a nightingale is heard.

A: Crowley…

C: I forgive you.

Aziraphale widens his eyes and turns suddenly; Crowley, motionless, is looking at him through his glasses.

A: I don't know what to say.

C: I believe that after defeating all the forces of Heaven and Hell, as well as Jesus the incarnation of the Almighty, you can do it.

A: Oh you have no idea - Aziraphale lowers his gaze, hesitates for a moment - I did it for you. In the beginning, a long - A LONG - time ago, I did what I did because I wanted to believe that angelic goodness prevailed even over being a demon, and you seemed the perfect example. But it wasn't like that, it never was. I know you think I realised it too late, but I didn't, it just took me too long to admit it to myself, and I could never admit it to you. I was so obnubilated by the thought that my job was to save you... when it was you who saved me, who stopped me that second before it was enough for me not to see the abyss you knew so well. I was so silly, Crowley. But I want you to know that I never thought, never wished - not even for a second - that you were any different.

C: I always tried to protect you angel. I didn't want you to see the world as them, but not as me either. I wanted you to be yourself: with your books, your cup of tea, your treats and your bloody magic tricks. And when you turned your back on me... - for a second the pain of that moment tightened Crowley's throat - I feared I had lost you forever. I was desperate.

A: So was I! You can't even imagine how desperate I was. The only thing that kept me alive was the thought that the next time I would see you again you would be free and, if I had been capable enough, happy.

C: You still don't get it.

A: What?

Crowley removes his glasses; Aziraphale winces slightly.

C: My god angel... after more than 6,000 years I still marvel at how stupid you can be sometimes. How can you not see that?

A: See what? Crowley, please.

Crowley shakes his head and smiles sarcastically.

C: I just wanted someone to look at the stars with.

Aziraphale stares at him. He turns fully towards him. Crowley seems to withdraw.

A: I love you.

Crowley is speechless, stunned. He is certainly not used to not knowing what to say, but this is not it. Every fibre in his body seems in turmoil. Aziraphale is still there, looking at him and smiling. He smiles as if the world had really ended this time, ended and begun again. He smiles as if a new Garden of Eden had magically materialised around them, but better, because in this case Eden has restaurants and bookshops.

C: I love you too angel - Crowley's voice is almost lifeless, so much so that it seems impossible to have uttered those words after him.

Aziraphale's face lights up, not with a blinding light, but with the kind of light that only the first stars that rise at nightfall give off. Truly ineffable.

Finally, Crowley, who had remained still up to that moment, also turns around, and is now facing Aziraphale. The latter approaches and gently places his right hand on his face.

A: This time properly, as Jane Austen would write it.

Crowley gently pulls him and kisses him as if he were the only important thing in the universe, and he is: more than alcohol, more than the stars, more than his (their) Bentley. Aziraphale still has one hand on his face while the other is clasped at his side, and this time he knows he’s feeling the greatest possible love, even for an angel. After all, this was the Almighty's plan all along.

The two break away and cannot contain themselves: they start laughing, the same way children laugh.

A: I cannot be sure, but now I think I understand why humans so often indulge in carnality.

Crowley bursts out laughing, he couldn't expect any less.

C: Well said. What time do you think it will be?

A: I don't know, but I think it's still morning, why?

C: How about an extremely alcoholic breakfast at the Ritz?

A: Mh, I think a table has miraculously opened up.

[the-firebird69]

Election Updates: In a lengthy interview, Trump leaves open possibility of violence in election aftermath. - The New York Times

This man is in violation of federal laws the Constitution and international laws by stating that there will be violence and insurrection after the election he is supposed to be an elected official it's supposed to be officiating and supposed to be assisting in helping the citizens of this country to be successful and happy in their lives not in fear for them and he said it before and inspired the instruction that occurred which is never supposed to occur here and he is an animal and people are afraid to charge him they're afraid to find him and they're afraid to charge him for real and hold them in prison he has a force me to help get him in prison and all a bunch of wimps I don't have anything I'm poor I live check to check and I don't even have the ability to make money because the a****** will help give me a hernia and did illegal surgeries on me and he was criminally negligent you people don't protect anybody that's worth anything here. And you're not assisting the president would help me right now and that's Biden I didn't claim all sorts of stupid s*** I really can't stand any of you you don't want to ask you don't have an act and you don't try to have one. As a whole this is abysmal now I haven't heard anything concrete that says the empire won't let us do this or the empire won't let us do that then come up and told me not to in large part a lot of you are full of s*** in other words and you're harming each other and threaten each other and threatening me because you think that you can take over and you think you can steal from the empire and overcome them what you should do is try and do the right job and stop saying they're stopping you when you don't even try I have people who are true rebels who help me everyday I don't know what these trucks are doing they're falling for every trick in the book and it can't be trusted because both of them have severe TBI injuries that's right Donald Trump has severe TBI injuries and can be seen on any of the scans in the airport that he went through somebody could make tons of money selling those I mean for crying out loud the guys a complete animal instead embarrassment to this country every second that he's on the microphone he said something illegal. If there was a country to go to I would go to it and my granddad has present wouldn't care cuz he knows I'm going through the same thing he is constant unending threats from this non-civil servant he does not serve anybody he stole everybody stuff and he lost it all and he's going down the tubes and he wants to drag everything I don't know what there is up there you have no DOD no FBI no CIA what what do you people do all day pick your teeth with your adventure inventor I mean this is piss poor and there's a war on because of this moron you should at least call him in call him and do something creative like asking what the hell he did for

Zues Hera

You know he's right with sitting here just watching him get pushed around and watching our friend here stand up to him he doesn't have anything and somehow it Donald Trump is getting his ass kicked we have to get that guy out of there and ask him what the hell he did it for you know it's a curiosity you're sitting there ruining everything for everyone now you're doing it for ruining yourself everyone's going after your robots because you're a big mouth you have sick plans other people do too you threw it away for that you're a dead man and we need to know

Mac daddy

They're a huge armies that are at the robots huge they went in and they tried to pull them out and they were attacked now giant armies are going in and disabling them and they're using devices and the robots of City ducks just as usual. In the Eastern hemisphere they only took 15% during the day so they're down 20%, and he doesn't have any in the Western hemisphere they already took 20% and it's only 3:30 a.m. they'll probably take another 40% and it'll be up to 50% out or more probably 55%, and that point they start going after areas with your own robots it takes time to be on them it does that much time and really you trust us to know this is coming for you and you should also know most of it's because this guy next door has a huge attitude problem and a giant mouth in the end say it's all sorts of stuff with everybody including our son and he's complete he's a complete ass he's a giant jerk he makes you angry right away no matter what and our son is not he is not had this treatment. He responds like this if you do that you're going to lose stuff right now and tons of people go after your stuff and he's sitting there messing with him right now he's trying to get into his apartment right now he does it all the time so we're going to print

Thor Freya

Olympus

[harryspet]

For your holiday darkfics, I'd like to request an angel reader/demon Steve, with "Your soul is mine", "Oh, did someone get lonely?", and "Remind me why I can't kill the carolers?" -🐇

your soul is mine | steve rogers 

[Warnings] dark!steve rogers x reader, demon!steve x angel!reader, noncon, kidnapping

a/n: this was a lot of fun, i hope you enjoy!

In which you’re an angel and a demon named Steve Rogers owns your soul. 

word count: 1.6k 

taglist: @buckysbunny @cherienymphe @hollandsdream @micki-smiles @buckybarnesplumwhore @brattypeony @hermayone @buckysugar @mischiefmanaged011 @visintaes @watercoolerpaint @disaster-rose

A darkness wrapped around you, invading your dream state. You went from imagining a shining sun over a meadow, running with your brothers and sisters to a setting sun and scorched earth. Your eyes snapped open and you found your captor looking at you from across the room. 

“Oh, did someone get lonely?” Steve noticed how you were curled up in your bed, hugging a book and pillow tightly. You sat up quickly, pushing the book to the side and your hair from your face, “You could hold me at night if you wished.”

You had to admit that the body that Steve was inhabiting was quite handsome. He probably chose someone strong and handsome, knowing how far it would get him in the real world. Still, the blonde hair didn’t quite match those black eyes. 

“I’d never be able to sleep with you so close to me,” You said, distaste in your tone, “And you’d probably be miserable showing any ounce of affection.”

Steve smirked, “Who said anything about affection? I imagine sinful things when I think of lying next to you, darling. Rough …. cruel, ungodly things. Your devout leader wouldn’t let you back into his gates after what I’d do to you-”

You looked away, “Stop it, please. I know what you’re trying to do.”

“I know, I know, I won’t get a rise out of you. I’ve been torturing angels for two hundred years and I’ve never made one raise their voice. Even if I’m sawing off their little wings, they won’t say a cruel word towards me … it’s quite infuriating.”

You couldn’t help but imagine that pain, like your soul being torn from your body. 

“If I’m no different than the rest then I’m not sure why you keep me around,” Unexpectedly, you saw his smirk falter. He’d been stoic for your entire kidnapping but your words had struck a chord in his empty heart. 

“Your soul is mine,” He said, “And, sadly, that’s worth quite a lot so I have to get a good use out of you. Speaking of, get up and get dinner ready.”

He snapped his finger and the chain connected to the bed frame detached from the collar around your neck. The sigil engraved into the metal was a kind of angel trap which kept you tethered to the house and your powers at bay. You frowned, “You said you’d give me a break for the Holidays.”

“You know better to trust a Demon, I shouldn’t have to explain that,” Steve spoke, sound amused, “And I’ve decided that I want to get into the holiday spirit and it’s in your best interest to be merry and jolly just like me. Up, up, up.”

You stood up from the bed, your white dress falling down to your ankles, and you made your way past him. He followed you down the hallway and to the stairs. The home was old and gothic, decked out in antiques. As you made your way down the stairs, you realized why he was following. 

The house was decorated in red and green, fairy lights, and even a Christmas tree, “So? Do you feel like a human again?”

You didn’t answer immediately as you admired everything. It reminded you of a time that was very far away, “It’s beautiful,” He sensed your hesitance as you worried this was all an elaborate trick, “Why?”

Steve shrugged, “I wanted to see what the excitement was all about.”

“And do you feel it? The holiday spirit?”

He smiled, ignoring your question “I feel like I could go for a delicious Christmas Eve dinner. Get to work.”

+

You were intently listening to the cascade of angelic of voices coming from outside the door. Looking out the living room, you saw them walking along the sidewalk and singing The Little Drummer Boy. 

“Remind me why I can’t kill the carolers?” Steve asked from his chair as he stared down the burning fire. You’d finish dinner moments ago and had resigned to the living room.

“Just let one beautiful thing exist, please,” You looked at them longingly, wishing you could feel the snow, and sing the lord’s praises. Surprisingly, Steve didn’t immediately respond. A while passed and the voices of the carolers faded away and so did your peace. 

He snapped his fingers and you were out of your trance. You turned to face him, his hellish eyes burning holes into your skin, “Let’s play a game, angel,” He smiled. 

“A game?” At first, your thoughts were innocent. You imagined a board game or cards but those thoughts didn’t last long, “I’d rather not.”

“I’m sure you’d rather keep your wings as well.”

You crossed your arms, “Fine.”

“Good girl,” He smirked, “How about a simple game of Truth or Dare?”

“... Do I get to ask you questions too?” Steve’s eyes narrowed at you, “It’s only fair.”

“Right, it’s only fair. Come, sit,” He beckoned you over and you assumed he wanted you to sit on the couch but he stopped you, “No, here, on your knees.”

You paused, trying to swallow your fear. You stepped in front of him before moving down to your knees. You imagined that he wanted to maintain your power imbalance. He couldn’t have you feeling any sort of pride when you asked him truth or dare. 

“Truth or Dare, angel?” He asked, leaning forward, his eyes on your collar. 

“Truth,” You answered, looking up at him.

“Are you waiting for a particular, little boy angel or girl angel to come and save you?”

You tried to hide the emotion in your eyes, “No … not one that you haven’t already killed.” You couldn’t look at his smile without tears brimming in your eyes. He opened his mouth, probably to say something hurtful but you interrupted, “Your turn. Truth or Dare?”

“Truth.” 

“Why haven’t you killed me?”

He hesitated which you hadn’t expected. Demons weren’t known for having feelings, Satan had tortured it out of all of them, but you thought you saw a glimpse of something in his eyes, “I enjoy watching you break every day. Usually, I get quite bored of angels after a while. Not you.”

“But-”

“Your turn. Truth or Dare?”

“Truth.”

“You can’t say Truth twice.”

“I’ve never heard of such a rule.”

“I just made it up,” Steve grinned, “Now, what’s a good dare for an angel? I dare you to … kiss me.”

Your eyes widened and you shook your head, “No, please, anything else.”

Your words angered him, “You could kiss something else of mine-”

“Steve…” You tried to plead with your big doe eyes, “I know you think I’m different than the others … I’m not.”

He leaned forward, his hand grabbing your face, and you shut your eyes tightly, “You are. I can see something you cannot,” Warmth spread through your body and you felt waves of darkness and violent pictures in your mind, “Kiss me. I won’t ask again.”

Shaking, you leaned forward, your eyes blinking open. Steve had closed his eyes, waiting for your lips to touch his. His fingers touched your neck and hair. Your lips were soft against his, despite how stiff you were from the nervousness. Steve stroked your cheek with his thumb as he slowly moved his lips against yours. 

He heard you whimper and his anger began to grow. The kiss deepened, and Steve got more rough as he explored your mouth. You grabbed his arm, trying to pull away, and Steve felt the light inside you only for a moment before it was stomped out. 

When you roughly pulled away, Steve knew he’d sunk his talons into you. Your eyes were dark, the light fading away, as you were overcome with emotions. You fell back on your elbows, breathing heavily, before you wiped your mouth, “What … what did you do?”

“You don’t know what happens when you kiss a demon?” Steve turned his head, looking down at you curiously. 

You scrambled away, getting to your feet, though you felt a bit lightheaded, “Y-You took my light …,” You breathed out, “No more games. Stay … please don’t touch me.”

Steve stood up, his shadow draping over you, and you stepped back, “I didn’t take it,” Steve chuckled, “I destroyed it, darling. You’ve been here in purgatory for months, you’re incredibly weak, and you won’t survive with all that good inside you. You need me.”

“I’d rather die.”

“I’d rather keep you around,” You turned to run but he grabbed you by your upper arm, pulling you into him, “Destroying that purity… fucking that darkness into you, that’s what I want.”

That winter night, Steve held you down in front of the burning fireplace. He tasted you in unthinkable ways, giving you a pleasure you’d never experienced, dipping his fingers inside of you. It hurt and you screamed but that feeling didn’t last long. He took his time making sure you were a moaning mess and, by the time, he entered you, you were a wet chasm wanting to be filled. 

He’d thrust into you deeply and watch how your eyes grew darker and darker. You tried holding onto whatever good things you could and, because it was your nature, you still wished for him to be saved. 

Your body was still writhing when he collapsed beside you. You had nothing left to say, feeling great shame for letting a demon pleasure you. “You’ll thank me later … for helping you.” Still, he carried you up to bed that night, leaving so you could sleep without the nightmares his touch would bring. 

Before you closed your eyes, you realized he hadn’t connected the chain on your collar to the bed. Though a dark cloud now surrounded your heart, you thought that maybe some of your light had sunk into him. 

[imerdwarf]

I've Given All I Can

Summary: You and Bucky feel as though you're pulling apart from each other, your worse fears come true one night at a party but is it too late?

Warnings: Low self esteem, angst, language, Bucky is an idiot, tears, heartbreak, implied smut (but nothing explicit) at the end 💜

Author's Notes: Happy evening 😍 this is for @the-ss-horniest-book-club's Drunk Drabbles 💜

Bucky has that unreadable look in his eyes again as he watches you change clothes. Your jeans feel too tight around your waist and your shirts pull across your stomach, accentuating the bulge from your food baby from all the binge eating junk you've eaten the past few weeks to help you feel better.

In truth, eating like that made you feel worse about yourself. You thought of yourself as the worst human alive because you couldn't stop it, you couldn't stop anything from going wrong with your body and your mind was in overdrive.

Your self esteem issues were eating away at you, you felt helpless as if you were screaming into a void alone and nobody was around to help you. Your mind would play the cruelest tricks. For example, how your mind would pick up on the facial expressions your boyfriend Bucky would give other women in the compound. He looks at them how he used to look at you when you first started dating, and it's been a while since you have seen that look from him.

For Bucky it was completely the opposite though, he's felt this distance between the two of you for a while and figured it was because you weren't interested in him anymore. He knows of the stress you've been under, how your insecurities are eating away at your thoughts and he longs for the day he sees your beautiful smile again.

He just knows it won't happen anytime soon and quite frankly, he doesn't even know what he should do anymore. Trying to talk to you was impossible because you would only grunt in response or not pay any attention to what he was asking or you would just change subjects which has been the case lately.

He doesn't know what do to, he wishes you would just tell him what he needs to do to make you love him again. He stares blankly at you as you change into jeans and a sweater, making no attempt to look away when you catch his stare and that look on his face.

Bucky stands and leaves you alone in the room, the door closes behind him and it's then the waterworks come to life. Tears roll freely down your cheeks as you crumble to the floor, hugging your knees to your chest, you rock back and forth feeling your heart break in your chest. You would give anything to have Bucky wrap his arms around you right now, it just seems he feels disgusted being near you and touching you.

While you were crying in your shared room, Bucky made his way to the kitchen where he saw Sam sitting on the stool sipping a coffee and scrolling through some files on the glass tablet.

"Rough mission?" Bucky asks, taking a seat opposite him and playing with the strings on his sweatpants.

"You could say that," Sam coughs into his bent elbow and looks over at Barnes to notice that worrying look in his eyes, "what's wrong?" He adds with a frown.

"Nothin'" Bucky sighs and runs a hand over his face. He looks tired and almost defeated.

"Come on man, I'm good for some things ya know!" Sam chuckles to encourage the man.

"It's just me and Y/N, things aren't... so good lately, feel like we're drifting apart." Bucky sniffles, saying it out loud was almost reality.

"Well, as your friend, I would advise you to sit down and talk about things, tell each other what's on your mind and hug it out even." Sam has a point but he doesn't understand that Bucky has tried to talk to you about this in the past and got nowhere. Now you were barely speaking.

"It's not that simple Sam," Bucky sighs and shakes his head.

Now it's Sam's turn to sigh, "nothing ever is simple. Just act like an adult and talk like adults, it's gonna be alright, man! Anyway, I got to go. I have a support group to motivate, let me know how things go." Sam grabs his backpack from the stool next to him and leaves quickly, leaving Bucky to think over his irrational plan that he thinks might work.

1 week later

Tonight is the night of one of Stark's extravagant parties and everyone is invited. It's also the night Bucky has a plan that he wants to execute to hopefully bring the two of you back together again.

He stands in front of the floor length mirror and adjusts his bowtie for the umpteenth time. His black suit is tailored to fit him perfectly and he knows how much you love him in black.

Your own dress was a gift from Natasha. It showed a lot of cleavage and thigh, normally, a dress like this was not something you would have chosen.

And by the time you got downstairs to the party, the room was already crowded ranging from the less fortunate to the billionaires. You had to shimmy past a couple of people to reach the bar, you were hoping your dress might spark some interest from Bucky tonight but he's nowhere to be seen.

You take a seat on the barstool and order a martini, the bartender hands you the drink and you thank him with a smile, spinning on your seat to sip your drink and scan the room. A boisterous laugh grabs your attention and your eyes follow the offensive sound. Your eyes narrow in on the gorgeous blonde standing in the corner, but it's the man she's with that makes your heart drop into your stomach.

It's Bucky. And her hands are holding onto his biceps as he presumably tells her one of his jokes. He's smiling, he's laughing and it's the happiest you have seen him for a while. Was he miserable because of you? Were you holding him back from happiness? The scene unfolding was answering all of your questions and more when Bucky takes her hand in his and pulls her to the dance floor to dance alongside the other 'couples'. They look so happy and so lost in each others eyes that your eyes well up and the room feels like it's closing in and suffocating you.

You can't breath, you need air and fast. You slam your glass down on the bar and stand up, taking off your heels so you can get out of here even quicker. You don't excuse yourself as you barge past the happy smiling attendees.

Wanda sees everything unfold from where she was stood. She saw the way Barnes had approached the blonde woman and started flirting with her as soon as you arrived at the party. She also sees he's none the wiser of the fact you've already left the scene upset and heartbroken.

Wanda approaches the blind idiot and pulls him away from the woman he's with. "what the -"

"I could ask you the same question Barnes! What the hell do you think you're playing at? You're cheating on Y/N now? My best friend?" Wanda is seething, and the urge to punch the smirk of his face is harder to resist.

"Did it work?" He asks with a smug grin looking around the party.

"Oh yeah, if your plan was to break her heart and make her cry, it worked perfectly!"

Bucky frowns and his lip quivers slightly, "nononono! That wasn't the plan! Fuck, where did she go?"

"Who knows." Wanda shrugs, she wouldn't tell him even if she did.

Bucky rushes past her and starts to look in every room until he finds you slouched against the wall of one of the vacant offices down the hall.

"Baby!" Bucky rushes in and kneels next to you, his big arms immediately pull you into his chest. You try to pull away but his grip is too strong and you end up sobbing uncontrollably into his chest. "I'm so sorry baby."

You pull your face away to breathe, your palms flat against his chest, "you're leaving me," you croak, looking up at him through wet eyelashes. The room around you feels like it's spinning, this feels like a really bad dream.

Bucky staggers for a moment, digging his fingertips further into your flesh. "Absolutely not baby! No way! I'm so sorry you gotta believe me doll, I was just trying to make you jealous because I thought you weren't interested in me anymore and-"

"I thought you weren't interested in me!" You argue, fighting back the fresh tears threatening to fall, "you haven't touched me in so long I didn't know what to think."

"Then it's my fault doll, I read the whole situation wrong and I should have talked to you like an adult, please let me make it up to you and I promise I'll show you just how much I love you and want to touch you." His nose nudges against yours and his face dips slightly to capture your lips. His lips are soft and you quietly moan into his mouth as he spins you both around and presses you up against the door ready to make good on his promise.

Taglist: @smokeybluebrooke-lyn @pinkdiamond1016 @whatrambles @bestofbucky @ladyeliot

[pastafossa]

Hello dear pasta. I’ve come to scream about jane and matt, because why not??

Jane almost dying after swallowing a random memory from foggy? Iconic. I hope the memory was something good though. Maybe something silly like him trying to ride a bike as a four year old and failing miserably, or the first time he ate sushi, put too much wasabi on it and had to drink copious amounts of liquid to soothe the burning!!

But, i feel very bad for matt too. This man can’t catch a break with people he’s on the brink of losing, can he? So i get his overprotectiveness tbh, but oh man do i love jane and her backstory. If you sold this as a standalone book id definitely buy it, like ive never heard about such an eloborate backstory in a fanfic??? God bless that you walk along us mere mortals on this earth pasta!!

(Jane is not only spitting rocks, she’s spitting bars too with those arguments with matt. <- yes i laughed when i thought of this lmao. I feel like such a dad)

(Also i think tumblr has been eating my asks *raises fist* tumblr gods, rest assured my vengeance shall be coming upon you soon!)

- @buckysbiota

HELLO AGAIN MY FRIEND!

I do feel after this, at least for a little while, Jane can reign as queen of the, 'Weirdest Way I Almost Died' club, because yeah, choking on Foggy's memory and almost dying because of it? They'll have to work to beat the strange factor. I can also confirm it was a good memory, cause if you're gonna choke to death on one, may as well be a pleasant one, even if it doesn't feel that way when it's stuck in your esophagus. 😂

Matt really does have sorta shitty luck here, yeah. He's got a history of losing people and these people he loves just keep winding up in danger, or almost dying in ways he doesn't quite expect them to. It naturally ends up putting him a bit on edge, like you said, especially with something like this with Jane where it is such an unknown, and something he can't really fight against. There is no going into the thread to haul her ass out of the water, there's no shoving his hand down her throat there to pull that stupid rock out, so he's just kind of... stuck waiting to see if she makes it out of whatever she's fighting. Poor guy.

And thank you SO SO MUCH! 😭 I tried to make all the backstory and plotlines just as elaborate and detailed as I might a book series, so I could practice what I'd learned about connecting plotlines, laying out clues, and building it all up slowly. I really do want to get published one day, so ya'll are getting every trick and lesson I've ever picked up over the years, and I am endlessly grateful for the response TRT's gotten! 🥰

(sweet jesus, I spat water, the Dad jokes are here! 😂😂😂)

(IT DOES EAT ASKS, I LIVE IN ETERNAL FEAR I'VE MISSED SOME??? Did I miss it? Is it buried in the backlog of asks I haven't gotten to yet? Did it get eaten? HELLSITEEEEEE.)

[twoidiotwriters1]

June, 1976 (WITT One-Shot)

A/N: If you want to remain in the taglist pls interact with this one-shot even if you haven’t read book 4-5 yet. A like or a comment is fine, the people who don’t want to continue reading obvsly do not interact and I’ll delete from the taglist :) -Danny

Words: 2,590

Series’ Masterlist

Emily was tired, but she'd spent all day overthinking and she was done, it was time to grow up.

She could hear Lily Evans' voice ushering Severus Snape away, he'd been coming around for several hours during the day trying to apologize, but he'd finally crossed a line.

"It's not your fault, you know?"

Matthew's voice caught her attention, he'd stopped at the foot of the stairs, one hand propped on the wall.

"Snape and Evans have been fighting for months now, I think it's because of what he's been doing with the Slytherins... you know, the cult stuff."

Emily averted her gaze to the fireplace.

"I know..."

Matthew hesitated, he'd promised himself that he wouldn't go back to being Emily's therapist, but something was different this time, it wasn't her usual kind of sulking.

"Are you okay?"

She looked at him over her shoulder and frowned.

"I'm not the one who got called 'mudblood' by a close friend."

"No, you weren't," He admitted. "Which is why it's so strange to see you all sad."

"I'm not sad."

"Is this about James?"

He didn't want to know, but alas, he'd asked.

"No," She made a face. "I don't think I care about him that way anymore."

"It's easier said than done," Matthew crossed his arms, his shoulder now leaning on the archway of the stairs.

"What do you want, Ruddy?" Emily groaned.

"I don't want anything from you," The boy replied. "But I have the feeling that you need to talk."

"I do," She said. "Not with you, though."

Matt nodded, he sighed.

"Good luck, then, have a good night."

"'Night."

Emily watched him disappear up the stairs, she didn't know why, but the memory of his burning gaze before he kissed her came back then, his intense determination as he held her closer... That moment Emily had found herself unable to move away, to say no. She wished she had his courage to just do stuff even when he was intimidated by them, she needed that kind of bravery tonight.

Lily Evans entered the tower two minutes later, Emily stood up abruptly and the redhead came to a halt.

For a moment none of them spoke, then Lily's face showed tons of fatigue.

"What now? Is it your turn to call me a stuck-up bore because I didn't agree to go out with Potter?"

Emily shifted her weight from one foot to the other.

"Can we talk?" She asked shyly. "I promise it's not a trick... I'm sorry."

Emily's behaviour towards her was usually hostile, tonight her voice was gentle, and even a little afraid.

"You're sorry?"

"I don't expect you to believe me," Emily continued, lowering her gaze. "I know you and Snape were close — I don't understand how can you like him... listen I suck at apologies, can't you just say it's alright so we can go to bed?"

Lily crossed her arms, standing straighter.

"No, I think I want you to try harder."

Emily groaned, she sat down heavily and started to think her words carefully, Lily inched closer.

"Boys can be cruel when they're not thinking — Anyone, really... I've been brutal myself — Matthew and I almost stopped being friends a few months ago, because I don't like talking about my feelings," She laughed dryly. "I don't know what is it about today that it just... I don't want to be a tormentor my whole life, let alone to someone who is... tolerable. I'm sorry for making your life a living hell these past few years."

Lily sat down, although she kept the seat between them empty to keep some distance.

"You didn't make my life a living hell," She replied. "I... can admit you're a bit clever... even likeable — that last match when you threw Lewis a bludger after he called you a midget... it was kind of funny."

"The boys walked me everywhere that week, they thought Ernest was going to try and get back at me," Emily bit her lip, but she was now smiling. "I mean, I lived in fear for days! Thinking he would spike my drink at some point with poison or something... Until Matthew cornered him outside D.A.D.A. class one day, poor Lewis... he looked so small in comparison..."

"Anyone looks small next to Matthew, he's a giant," Lily grinned. "Well, if it's any consolation, I was planning on murdering you in a much classier manner than poison, but since you've apologized, I guess I won't have to kill you after all."

Emily snorted, her eyes lingered on Lily, who looked like she'd been crying for most of the day, and yet still had enough energy to sit down and talk with the girl she'd detested for the last four years.

"Why are you being nice?" She asked in annoyance. "I mean I'm glad you're kind of accepting my apology, but I thought you'd be a bit colder, walking away before I could even finish..."

"What kind of person do you think I am?" Lily raised a brow, with the orange light coming from the fireplace her green eyes looked far more intense than usual. "If I'm honest, you should thank Remus... he's tried to convince me that you lot are far better than you look..."

Emily sighed, when she was young she'd do mischief for fun, but now that she was older, and considering all the weird stuff that was happening outside the school, she was starting to think that maybe her group of friends were indeed changing for the best.

"I'm going to be honest with you too, Evans," The girl took a deep breath. "Being the only girl in my friend group is turning out to be pure torture. I'm in desperate need of a girlfriend."

Lily's mouth twitched a bit, but she didn't laugh.

"What makes you think I want to be your friend?"

"Oh, I don't think you want to," She raised a brow. "But maybe if we're on good terms I'd be able to ask you for a tampon without having to swallow my pride first."

Lily did laugh at this, she shook her head. "Holy Merlin, Sultens, you're loopy."

"You would be too if you were seated next to Sirius every day!" She paused. "So... are you willing to make peace?"

Lily examined her carefully, four long years of quarrels sat between them, but a lifetime of friendship could be ahead if Emily was truly sorry. She was a nice girl, and really smart too, she was annoying only when she was taunting Severus, and he was no longer her friend.

Lily stretched out her hand.

"Very well, but if you go back the deal is over and we'll be less than strangers, understood?"

"Sure."

She retreated her hand before Emily could grab it.

"Hang on — this is not Potter's idea, right? You're not trying to be my friend just so I date him later?"

"Lily, if anything I hope you and James never date," Emily snickered. "Nothing personal, you're just way too good for him."

"...Alright."

They shook hands, she'd meant what she said about it not being personal. James was a boy, a very silly one at that, and even though they were really close friends, Emily was no longer a blind supporter of his doings.

Funnily enough, this seemed to be related to Matthew, she couldn't stop thinking about that kiss! Merlin, he was a good kisser...

She shook the thought away, now was not the time for nonsense.

"I'm very honoured to be your acquaintance, Evans," Emily grinned.

"Call me Lily. Only Professors call me Evans... and Potter, but you know I hate that."

"Got it, Lils."

July 1996

"...I don't think this is right," Mel tilted her head. "Brownies are mean to be brown... not pitch-black."

"You burned them," Harry was standing behind them with his arms crossed, clearly upset.

"How could you burn them, Erick? They were in there for five minutes!"

"Are you sure..." Erick stabbed the mixture with a knife and made a face. "Ugh — they're still liquid in the middle!"

"How the fuck did you do this?"

"I thought it would work just the same if I doubled the heat and put less time," Erick sulked. "Ovens are weird."

"This is why we told you to stay out of it," Harry replied. "You don't know how muggle stuff work."

"I do know!"

"Then why did you burn the brownies?"

"Don't fight," Mel intervened, grabbing the platter and throwing its contents away. "Oh well, at least we ruined my birthday cake and not someone else's..."

"That's not okay," Harry frowned. "You should have a proper cake."

Mel looked at him and grinned. "I'll eat yours, then."

"How's everything going in here?" Emily walked in, behind her Lupin followed.

"Uncle Lu!" Mel rushed over to his side and hugged him, the man chuckled. "You came!"

"Well, hadn't been around for your birthday in a long time, I thought you'd like it," He said, lovingly patting her back.

"I do," She beamed. "We kind of ruined the cake, though, so we should buy doughnuts or something."

"It's a good thing I brought this, then," Lupin lifted his bag and placed it on the table, inside there was a beautifully adorned red velvet cake.

"You just saved my birthday!"

Harry and Erick shared a moody expression and grumbled complaints, Lupin laughed.

"The kids insisted on doing the cakes this year," Emily explained. "I told them it was not an easy job, but they insisted."

"Mel and I have done this before, Erick was the one who wanted to be in charge when he can't even make tea without magic," Harry glared at him.

"Muggles stuff are too complicated, alright?" He huffed.

"I don't mind," Mel said without paying attention to them, she was still beyond happy with her uncle's presence. "I wanted to give my mum a break, Leggie's been a bit hard to handle lately..."

"Is he?" Lupin looked at the little boy Emily was holding. "Is he ill?"

"No, he just cries a lot," The woman sighed. "Wakes us up every night."

"I thought that forcing my mother to bake when she's clearly too tired to be doing anything apart from feeding a baby was a crime," Mel stated. "So I took care of it."

"Then Flint messed it up," Harry taunted.

"And then you fixed it, Uncle Moony," The girl smiled. "So there's no harm done, right boys?"

She looked over her shoulder, raising a brow as if urging them to stop bickering before they embarrassed her in front of Lupin. Both mumbled their agreement, not quite meeting her eyes.

"Lovely," Mel looked back at the adults. "Who wants lunch?"

Mel and Erick were in the kitchen talking in hurried whispers, she appeared to be upset, the young man too. Emily and Remus were in the drawing-room, Harry was upstairs changing Reg's diaper.

"Do you know why they're arguing?" Remus asked, staring at the pair.

"Dumbledore came by this morning before breakfast," Emily sighed, leaning her head back on the couch. "Talked about this mission he had for Erick — you know how eager to help that boy is... so of course the old man came and put his offer on a silver platter, and Mel won't let Erick go on his own, so being the generous soul Dumbledore is," She said sarcastically, "He said she could go too if she wanted to."

"Really?" Remus frowned. "Well... he's been giving her lessons for years, Mily, perhaps he knows she can handle it."

"I don't care," She said bluntly. "That's my daughter, my daughter. Matt's daughter. How can he continue to risk my family's life like it's nothing?"

"You know Matthew did all he that because he wanted to, Dumbledore had nothing to do with his decisions."

"I know," Emily took a deep breath. "But he's got a lot to do with Mel's... she idolizes him."

"You think so?" The man looked over his shoulder again, staring at his goddaughter.

"I don't see why else she'd be so keen to follow his orders..."

"Maybe because she feels guilty?" Remus offered. "After what happened in the ministry..."

Emily pressed her lips together, she didn't want to talk about that.

"That's not her fault and she knows it. I told her it wasn't."

"You weren't there," He said gravely. "She went out of control. I had never seen anything like it, her magic was dark— I mean that literally. All the spells she did came out pitch-black. Dumbledore was the only one who could put a stop to it."

Emily's eyes grew worried, she looked over her shoulder as well and her gaze landed on Mel.

"You think it could be the same thing that Ariana Dumbledore had? That disease?"

"No one knows what happened to her," Remus said. "Not even Matthew knew, and he was part of the family... but it could be. Maybe Dumbledore knows something we don't, maybe this will help her... perhaps she needs this."

Emily stayed silent for a moment, then she groaned.

"I hate that we're always meant to trust him blindly."

"He's lived a hundred years, he might be wiser than all of us, don't you think?"

The woman scoffed, she looked ahead, deep in thought.

"A hundred years... Matthew couldn't even make it to twenty-one! James and Lily barely did... Sirius spent twelve years in Azkaban — But at least we all knew how the war looked like then, Remus. We fought for years... my daughter just turned sixteen, she still goes to school!"

"And yet she's already done her fair amount of fighting," The man raised a brow. "We didn't have the experiences she's gone through when we were her age. I stand with Dumbledore, she can do this."

"I'm not saying she can't," Emily grabbed the empty plates to take them to the kitchen. "I'm saying she shouldn't have to sacrifice her youth. Dumbledore asks for too much, I'm sure he's got someone else that could help him with the mission, but he's obsessed with making Mel his perfect copy."

Remus didn't try to argue back, little could convince Emily at this point, she'd never been a fan of Dumbledore, and after Matt's death it was no secret that she openly disliked him, but she still followed his orders, because she knew Dumbledore was the only chance they had to win this war.

Mel and Erick entered the room, neither of them angry, which made Remus think they had reached an agreement.

"I should leave," The man stood up. "Leon's been quiet, maybe Harry managed to make him sleep."

"Or maybe he's just playing with him," Emily stood up as well. "Really, I never thought Harry would get so attached to a baby..."

"I'll miss you, Uncle Lu, I hope to see you soon," Mel said, her eyes avoiding to look into Erick's direction.

"Me too, little Em," Remus hugged her tightly, he whispered in her ear. "Be good to your mother, alright?"

Mel looked at him with confusion, but she nodded anyway.

"So?" Emily crossed her arms. "What are you going to do?"

The young witch stared at her mother, Remus knew that expression. It was true and very strange, how she could have her dad's gaze even though her eyes were exactly like her mother's, but he knew that look, he'd seen it in Matt the last time they had spoken. Mel was done being a kid.

Taglist.

@dee123ksha @vampiregirl1797 @siriuslysirius1107 @stardusthigh @mikariell95 @vernon-dursley @thesuitelifeofafangirl @tomshollandz @wlwmaximoff @reverse-hxlland @omiwashere @t-rexs-world @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @21bruhs @i-am-scared-and-useless-bisexual @dielgonacoffee​ @thelastpyle @hamiltonwc

[that-typical-ty]

Spencer woke up to a splitting headache. His eyes not being quite able to focus on his surroundings. He thinks back to the last thing he can remember.

He returned home after a week long case at 10:28 pm. He placed his bag on the couch, after slipping off his shoes by the door. He then went to his kitchen to get a drink. When he went to grab a cup something heavy hit the back of his head. Now he was here. Hands strapped down to either chair arm, ankles strapped to the legs. The chair was old and wooden, possibly he could break out of it, but he was still dizzy so he wouldn't be able to get far even if he did.

The room was pretty dark, the only light coming though a few small holes in the wall. The space was small, metal walls.

Ah, all this thinking hurt his head even more.

He didn't have to wait long before he heard a creak and saw more light stream in from the doors in front of him.

"Oh good, you're awake." The silhouetted man said as he walked in. His voice was a deeper pitch than Reid's and seemed to be filled with a genuine happiness. "Didn't want you out for too long." The man seemed to be meddling with something, setting something up possibly.

Reid decides to do what he was taught, profile, empathize. "What's your name?"

The man laughed "uh uh uh," he said as if telling a child no. "All in good time, Spencer." The man spat out the name as if it was distasteful. "That's what you are called now right? Spencer? Ha, pitiful." The man steps back from the structure he put up. He pokes the top of it and a red light turns on as he steps behind it adjusting where it points. Not another camera. The man steps out of the room a few times each time bringing something back with him. Two chairs, some cords, a briefcase. Once he's finally set up he walks over to Reid who has been trying to figure out where they are, who this man is, and what all the stuff is for.

"Now," he says with a smile, "we are going to talk to some friends of yours. You will answer some questions, honestly, if you lie or try to pull any tricks, there will be consequences. Okay?" Reid doesn't answer right away making the man go from smiling to enraged in a second. He smacks him hard across the face. "I said, OKAY?"

Reid nods quickly "okay, okay." He whispers out, voice cracking a bit.

The man smiles again "great!" His voice is happy again. He walks back over to the computer typing a few things in before cheerfully saying "and we're live!"

× Back at the BAU ×

Morgan and Emily were laughing when JJ walked up to them "Has anybody seen Reid? He's not picking up his phone." She seemed worried. Most of them had been concerned about this last case, it was so similar to the Tobais Hankle case most of the team had kept a close eye on Reid the whole time.

All she got was two 'no's and a few more worried faces. "He's never late." Emily stated. "Here, let me try calling him." Her call goes unanswered as well.

Morgan sighs, the worry lines increasing on his forehead "We should check on him. Maybe this last case affected him more than we thought." The girls nod. Morgan let's Hotch knows what's going on and he gives him permission to check out their young genius.

When he gets to Reid's appartment he feels a slight wave of unease. He knocks on the door just for it to creak open under the pressure of his knuckles. He draws his weapon, pushing open the door further. "Reid? You here kid?" Morgan scans the appartment. Reids shoes. Piles of books. Reids shoulder bag. An open fire escape window. A broken glass. Some blood. Shit. Morgan holsters his weapon and dials Hotch. "He's gone, there's a broken glass, some blood surrounding it, the fire escape window is open. Looks like he was taken, Hotch."

"Alright, I'll let the team know, I'll send Prentiss and Rossi out." Hotch explains.

Hotchner walks out of his office and calls out for his team to meet him in the conference room. They all file in soon after him. "Reid has gone missing. Morgan went to his house and may have found signs of a struggle. Prentiss, Rossi, I want you to-"

Garcia bursts into the room, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. "Sir, you need to come see this." The team follows their distressed tech analyst. She opens the door to her tech room as she starts to explain what happened. "S-sombody hacked me. A-and they put a video feed on my computer. And- just look!" They do and what they see shocks them to their core. It's Reid, tied to a chair, blood on his arm and a light welt on his cheek. "I'm trying to track it now but I'm comming up with nothing."

"Now we are going to play a little game." A voice says cheerfully from out of the scene. Spencer glares at something behind the camera, following it with his eyes. A figure steps into frame with a brief case. Hotch is already calling Morgan to come back, informing him on what is happening.

"So, Spencer," the man said the name like he was mocking it. "How has my boy been?" Emphasizing the word 'boy'.

Spencer looked confused. "I don't know who you are, how can I be your anything?" The man laughs slapping a hand on Reids shoulder, the team doesn't miss the flinch.

"Haha, yeah, I guess it has been a while, hasn't it?" The man stands. "Well allow me to reintroduce myself. I'm Francis." He does an exaggerated bow with a smirk. Spencer stiffens, eyes widening in fear. Spencer tries to push himself further away from the older man. "Ah, so you do remember me." The man looks amused. "You certainly look different from the last time I saw you." He caresses Reids cheek.

"Why are you doing this?" Reid bites back. "I left you behind eleven years ago! Why now?" Reid was getting angry, emotional.

The team watches shocked at their youngest member, they had never seem this side of him before.

"Oh Reid, you don't get to ask the questions here." He opens the suitcase pulling out a what looked like the end of a fishing rod, without the line loops. He harshly smacks Reid across the face, a gash appearing on his cheek. "But~ if you must know... you are not the first in this mission. I'm just trying to clean up the filth of the world." The mans voice gets darker, angrier as he continues. "Your kind has tainted our world and I need to clean you up! To remind you what you really are! Scum that are just FAKING FOR ATTENTION!" He hits Reid again. He grabs Reids face and points it at the camera. "Why don't you tell them what you are, what you've done."

Reid shakes his head. "No, please... no." Tears slip silently down his face. The rest of the team are tearing up as well. Morgan just walked in. "I-I can't."

Hotch takes his role as leader back. "Garcia," the colorful lady snaps her attention to him. "Find out if Reid has any past with a man named Francis. We need to find him before he hurts him anymore." Let's try to find out where he is, profile this Francis and find out his next move before he can make it." The team nods and starts to do what they do best.

"Admit your sins." Francis' voice has a dangerous tone. "Admit, repent, and be forgiven."

Spencer looks absolutely terrified. "A-admit what?"

He lashes the poor boy yet again. "Don't act like you don't know!" He quiets down. "Everything. How much you enjoyed that day on the post. What Mr. Wyatt did, and how you loved every second of it. What a special snowflake you are. Who I am to you." He gets closer to the crying boy. "Tell them everything."

Reid takes a breath, composing himself the best that he could. Then looks Francis in the eye. "This isn't about me, is it?" The older man looks taken a back. "This is about you. I remember you, your father. He was always such a mean man. You told me that. He was a strict Christian who believed that homosexuality was a disease, a sin. But he never knew you were bisexual. When he found out he must have been furious."

Francis starts to get agitated. "Shut up. You know nothing."

Reid gives a sad chuckle. "I know more than you think. You got caught. The next day you had me to prove to your dad you were exactly how he wanted you to be."

"Shut up."

"Really, a twelve year old? You couldn't find someone your own age? Was I just easier?" Spencer gets louder, expressing his own rage.

"I said SHUT UP!" He lashes Spencer again. He reached into the case and pulled out a needle. "I heard you really liked this stuff. Dilaudid, right?"

Reid panics seeing the needle. "No no no no. Please! No!" He watches as the plunger goes down. He slips into the oblivion.

"Spencer." His mother said. "What a wonderful name." The nine year old kid broke down as his mother pulled him into a hug. "You know I will always love you, you are the best son a mother could ask for."

"Thank you, I love you too." He squeaks out.

...

"You're WHAT?" His father shouted. Spencer takes a few steps back. "I will NOT raise such a FREAK in my house!"

"I'm sorry." He whispers curling into himself as his father looms over him. "I'm sorry."

His mother steps in before a swing can come. "Leave him alone!"

"Fine, you wanna raise a FREAK? I'm leaving!" And he walked out the door.

"I'm sorry, mom." She goes to comfort her son. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry." Reid mumbles as he comes to. "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" Francis asks as if he was genuinely curious.

"I-" Reid clears his throat. "I made my dad leave. It was my fault."

"How did you do that?" Same innocent tone in his voice.

"I told him. About me. Who I wanted to be. My mom was supportive, I thought he would be too." He stifles a sob.

"What else are you sorry about?" Francis asks, more deviously.

"The goal post." Reid looks up challengingly. "That's one you want to know right?" Francis stays quiet. Spencer looks to the ground as he recalls the memory. "A-after the football team was done with me, they left me. Standing there, tied up, naked. My geometry teacher got me down, but it came at a price. He-" Spencer paused biting back tears. "He wanted to have some fun with me too." He chokes back a sob turning to face Francis again. "Is that what you want?" He cried.

"Now tell them what you are." He says sauntering up to the broken agent. "Then I can free you before you commit another sin."

× BAU ×

Garcia hit the call button for the conference room, bubbling with anticipation. As soon as she heard the click she started letting out a rush of information. "Hotch, I found something about Francis."

"What did you find?" He asked, attention fully on her.

"Well, first his name is Francis Thompkins. Reid said he got rid of him eleven years ago so I went back. Reid would have been in high school. So I crossed everyone that went to a high school near where Reid lived with the name Francis. And I got a quite a few hits. But, when he said something about him being used, I looked into their histories and one had an accusation of sexual assault of a minor. A-a twelve year old. Who ended up dropping the charges." Garcia lost momentum towards the end. Everyone knew who the kid was.

"What about now a days? Businesses, house, anything in his name?" Hotch requests.

"Uh," Garcia types away on her keyboard. "Yes, yes. He works at a local restaurant, has a house and a storage unit in his name. Sending info to your phones now."

"Thanks Garcia." Hotch says as he hangs up. "Let's go." Everyone rushes out of the conference room, half going to the house and half to the storage unit.

× Reid ×

"No." He says firmly. "Not like this."

"Such a shame, I'll just have to send you to hell like the sinner you are then." He bends down to the briefcase one last time and pulls out a revolver. "And to think, you could have grown up to be beautiful, but you gave it all up." He stares at the gun as if looking at a loved one. "I really am going to miss you Sarah. You never did leave my mind, I was so happy to be your first, why not be your last?" His devilish smirk making Spencer go into a panic.

× BAU ×

"Yeah, Hotch we are almost at the storage unit." Morgan spoke weaving through traffic.

"We couldn't find anything at his house. His car is gone too." Hotchner states "Emily, JJ, and I are doing a sweep to see, if they aren't at the storage unit, where they might be headed."

"Alright, we'll call in if we find anything." Morgan hangs up as they enter the storage lot. They look around for the unit in Francis Thompkins name. A134. A red pickup is parked in front of it. They call Hotch and tell him that he's there before approaching the unit. The bottom of the door was left open. They can hear crying coming from inside.

"Please, just stop. Kill me. Please." They can hear their youngest member sobbing.

Morgan and Rossi carefully lift the unit door and prep their guns.

"FBI! Hands where I can see them!" Rossi shouts. Francis obliges. Putting his hands in the air. The gun was left by the case what he started to have his fun. "Stand up and turn around, slowly." He does, and when he's fully turned both men are disgusted. They realise what the man had been doing to their poor boy, who was bent over the chair hands and feet tied, pants pulled down. Both men try to control their anger. "On your knees, hands on your head." He does as he's told sending one last smirk to Reid, which finally breaks him as he starts to sob. Morgan helps Reid while Rossi cuffs Francis.

"I'll see you again one day Sarah." Francis cackles as he is dragged away by Rossi.

"I'm a boy." Reid mumbles. "Right?" He looks to Morgan.

"Yes, you are a boy. Always have been, always will be. No matter what that bastard says." He hugs the trembling kid. He quickly cuts the bonds on his wrists and ankles. Reid pulls up his pants. Morgan helps Spencer out of the storage unit and over towards the car.

Rossi meets them half way. "Police, ambulance, and the rest of the team are on their way." Spencer just nods. Morgan gently sets him down so he is leaning against the building. Before anyone knows what's happening Spencer is unconscious.

...

Spencer wakes to the sound of voices and beeping. He tries to open his eyes but it's so bright, he closes them again with a groan. He feels someone grab his arm. That gets his attention. He yanks his arm away, breathing erratic, eyes wide, trying to recognize who just grabbed him. "M-morgan?" He calms, settling back into the bed. "What happened?" He looks around the room noticing some of his other team member scattered about, not dating to move, as if they might spook him.

Aaron is the first to break the silence. "You had a mild concussion, and the drugs in your system were still in effect, so the doctors think, when the adrenaline wore off you crashed." Reid just nods at the information.

Reid looks down at his lap. "How much did you see?"

Morgan bites this bullet. "Almost everything, we didn't see the last few minutes, even Garcia turned it off, we knew you wouldn't want us to see you like that."

"I'm sorry." Tears start to well up in his eyes.

"Hey," Rossi makes his way toward the bed. "You have nothing to be sorry about." He rests a hand on the kids shoulder. Reid looks up meeting the mans kind gaze. "If anything we should be sorry for not finding you sooner." Reid pulls Rossi into a hug, grabbing Morgan too. JJ and Garcia walk in with coffee for everyone, and a jello for Spencer. He gives them both a hug and happily starts savoring his little gelatinous snack.

After a few minutes of banter and jokes Reid decides now or never. "Hey, I have something I need to tell you." The team's attention is focused on Reid in an instant. "It's about Francis, you deserve to know how I know him." The team stays quiet. "When I was in high school, I used to be a tutor.

"Hey, you must be that genius that's supposed to teach me history, right?" The older brunette boy says sitting across the table.

Reid adjusts his glasses. "Yeah, and you're Francis Thompkins, right?" The boy nods. "Alright, so first what subject is it and I need a time and place on where to meet you for your sessions."

The older boy slid closer to Reid. "Alright, American History, 1950-1980s important events and how about." He takes a piece of paper and a pen and scribbles his address on it putting it in Reids front pocket for him. "My place, at 5?" He leaves his hand there, it makes Reid uncomfortable so he scoots away.

"Sure, I'll see you at 5." Reid quickly gets up and walks away.

× 5:00 ×

Reid knocks on the door of the address he was given. Francis opens the door with a wide smile. "Alright, where should I put my stuff?" He asks walking in.

"My room is fine, follow me." He leads Reid to his room, filled with half naked ladies on posters, and bands. Reid places his bag by the end of the bed and bends to dig though it when he feels something pull on his jeans. He stands back up and notices the smirk plastered on Francis' face, something in his eyes he had never seen before.

"Then it was a blur, everything happened so fast. I couldn't stop him." Spencer held back his tears.

"Hey, it's not your fault." Morgan placed a hand on Reid's shoulder. He leaned into the larger man.

"I'm transgender." He says softly. No one says a thing. "It happened before I fully transitioned. Maybe if I told him I was a boy, he wouldn't have... if my dad didn't hate me and enroll me in the school with my dead name..."

"You can't blame yourself for someone else's sick actions." Aaron said firmly. "There will always be 'what if's."

Reid nods, "I guess you're right."

"We will always be here for you if you ever need anything, alright?" Morgan questions.

"Thank you. I love you guys." Reid mumbles, eyes becoming droopy.

"We love you too G-Man." Garcia smiles, as Reid drifts off to sleep.

They've got one hell of a road to recovery ahead of them, but what are families for?

[sometimesrosy]

I am afraid of writing. I love writing, I've been doing it since I was.. 10? I'm about to be 24. I love it, I've had this huge story in my mind since I was 14 & I've tried writing it since then. The story is always chaging, it's obviously much more adult now, totally different from what it was. And yet, no matter how many drafts I've done since I was 14, I haven't finished a single one. I've never finished the 1st draft. I'm scared this will go on forever. I want to tell this story, why can't I?

This is one of the biggest secrets of writing, I think.

Writing is SCARY.

No matter how much experience you have. It’s SCARY. You might figure out coping skills to deal with the fear (and I think that’s why a lot of writers do turn to drugs and alcohol-- they’re self medicating the fear) but that doesn’t mean the fear goes away.

Because writing is like opening up your soul and putting it on the page for the world to see. Even if you don’t show them. 

I am, at this point in my life, educated up the wazoo, and actual teacher of writing and such, and have been writing for 35 years. I am a professional. I am ghostwriting for money, and that means I have to write to a strict schedule of at least 3k a day. 

When I’m on a roll, I can write 1200 to 1500 in a half hour. 

So that deadline sounds easy, doesn’t it? 

HA! No. I’ve learned I can trust myself to be able to reach it, true, but it’s hard EVERY SINGLE DAY.

I will spend almost an entire day getting the nerve up to write, until I can’t procrastinate anymore and end up bingewriting nonstop from 4-6 to get it done. 

I can write easily. SITTING DOWN TO WRITE? Not so easy. It’s ridiculous. I even know what I’m writing. It’s not hard. Two days ago I thought it was hard because I had to write about a sea rescue and I know nothing about sailing, storms, hypothermia or emergency protocols.  I struggle through it with lots of research to get over my fear and give me a solid base to write on. But then yesterday I finished and had to write romantic angst of a girl who was pining for her best friend who didn’t love her. (please understand i am very familiar with unrequited longing for your best friend, btdt. hated it.) But guess what? STILL TERRIFIED TO WRITE. Took me the same amount of time to get to the page.... but far less research. 

The trick about writing is not actually learning the rules of writing or storytelling or character development or what have you.

The trick about writing is to learn how to conquer the fear.

Maybe there are some people somewhere who are so sure of themselves that they never feel the fear or the insecurity or the pain of their history or the terrible demons in their heads that tell them they can’t do it... but I haven’t met them yet. 

When I was your age, I had a similar background. I’d been writing since I was 12, trying to write novels since I was 15 or so, and had not finished one thing. Now I didn’t have one story I’d been working on, but a million ideas, but still, nothing was ever finished. And I realized that I had to set myself the challenge of getting to the end of that book. I’d spent ten years or so learning how to write, now I had to belly up, face the fear, and WRITE IT. 

This was before the nanowrimo days, and three pages was a tremendous output for me. I set myself a schedule, and sat at my desk every day before work (I was a waitress then and started work in the afternoon, so I had time during the day... please note that I was a waitress specifically so I’d have time to write. it was a career choice i made then but it is by far not the only way to find time to write.) I wrote and kept track of my daily output to make sure I was keeping up with myself. I wrote at least one page a day. Sometimes as much as ten, (about 2500 words double spaced,) and by the end of the year, I’d written my first draft all the way to the end.

That book is still hidden in my trunk. BUT I finished it. And got to the end. And I didn’t do it by having a million ideas that I was afraid to commit to, but by sitting at the desk every day, and not giving up on it. 

I mean, finishing the first draft is not the end of finishing your novel either, but it’s the first step and you need to conquer it before you can get all the way done. 

One book I read that did help me is called Fearless Creating, by Eric Maisel. He talks about the various ways fear can get in the way of creating, and how there are different fears for different stages of the creative process. 

But whatever you do, if you want to write this story like you say you do, you have to face that fear down and write it anyway. Stop stalling. Stop looking for ways out or other things you have to focus on and apply butt to chair, and get writing. 

Whether you can only write 300 words a day (300x365=109,500 words=a novel) or can only write in the summers when you’re off of school, or are a weekend warrior who binges on saturdays and sundays, or have to get up at 6am to steal an hour of writing time before work, or you pound away at your computer before you go to sleep each night though you’re exhausted, or you turn cartoons for your toddlers so you can write, or you write while the dinner is in the oven, or you can only get the motivation up to do it during nanowrimo-- figure out what schedule/process/situation works for you and DO IT. 

Write even though you’re afraid, and sooner or later, you’ll have your novel done. Remember that your goal is DONE, not just writing without end, so you keep going for that The End. You can do it. 

find my writing stuff all collected here @rosy-writes

[starrysebastians]

painkillers and something more [one shot]

pairing : bucky barnes x reader

summary : lingering glances and subtle touches are fine, but all it takes is a little injury to turn whatever this is into something more

a/n : listen this one shot wasn't planned but i'm on antibiotics and painkillers right now and instead of letting myself die i wrote this . so basically hurt and comfort and fluff to end my suffering (mentions of injury)

word count : 1.8k

When the end credits of the movie he was watching ended and he didn't have the will to get up from his comfy position on the couch to grab the other remote and turn the TV off, so James Barnes is currently facing a beaming blue screen — has been for at least a whole hour. It makes a buzzing sound he has now gotten used to, because he kinda likes having a background noise to avoid facing the deep and abyssal silence being awake in the middle of the night always brings. Tonight wasn't particularly plagued with nightmares, but the previous ones, and months of recons and missions have messed up his sleeping schedule enough for him to finally take Sam's advice and watch the numerous movies he recommended him to catch-up on the 21st century culture.

His eyes are now focused on a book, one he found lying on a table, the bookmark next to it rather than in between the pages so he figured the person reading it was done. There's a shuffling coming from the hall that makes him perk up, the book closing on the finger he put between the pages.

Muffled voices, a groan, and it's getting closer.

"C'mon, let's get you on the couch. I'll get you your meds." Bucky identifies it as Sam's voice, although it is softer than it usually is when he's joking around, lighter than it is over the coms during a mission. It has the same he uses when he tries to comfort someone after innocent bystanders were a mission's collateral damages, or when Wanda has a nightmares. "Here."

The ceiling lamp flickers on, making the little reading lamp next to Bucky's couch useless. Even when he is wide awake, he usually likes staying in the dark when it's nighttime. It helps with schedules and not getting completely disoriented, seeing the sky go from purple and pink to dark blue splattered in white dots to soft orange and light blue. Artificial lightning all night long just messes with your mind.

Shifting in his seat so that he can turn his head and observe the hall leading to the living room — more like a living floor, by the way, he frowns upon you and Sam. Rather, Sam holding you by the waist, walking ever so slowly as if you were gonna collapse as soon as he let you go. Bucky stands up straighter, a million questions popping up in his head — were you on a mission? no, you had one that lasted longer than usual because Fury needed you and you returned two weeks ago, and all you did the past few days was help run recon, collect intel… nothing to get hurt over.

He and Sam share a look, and he's not quite sure what that expression on his face is.

"Here. Just lie down," Sam says with his soft voice again as you tumble on the couch, hands on the leather to steady you as you try and lay down as gently as possible. "I'll be right back." Another pointed look at Bucky, and this time he slowly rises from his seat, taking two hesitant steps.

It's not that you and him are not close — in fact, he would say you're one of the persons he likes the most here. You work with SHIELD, but also with them, it depends on the missions and he likes how you're free to work with any organisation you like. You're independent, and not often in the compound. He enjoys watching you work and fight because you're so skilled it's impressive for a normal, non-enhanced human being, but maybe it's just everything about you he deems worthy of being stared at all day long.

There has been different moments shared. Unwinding times in comfortable silence and missions aftermaths, bundled up in soft blankets in the living room or numbly sitting in the quinjet as it flew back towards the compound. Briefing sessions, some with too many things at stake to share a joke, others where you both shared smirks and twinkling looks. One where you accidentally bumped your leg against his, that time Steve was explaining how you were going to take down a weapon-dealing business, which is a pretty easy task for all of you, and you decided your leg was going to stay right here. You even made the wise decision of hooking your feet around his leg, the warmth emitting from your tangled legs making Bucky bite his lip in order to stop a smile from breaking out on his face. You didn't hide yours.

There are also times when you don't get to bump into each other for months. Exhausting months when you both are on missions, deep down undercover — especially you, because the winter soldier's face, albeit masks and tricks existing, is well-known, contrary to yours which has been well-protected by every intelligence agency you have served. During those months, sometimes you're scared he's going to forget about you and your fleeting glances ; he's scared you're too busy with work for him to ever cross your mind. And you never really talk, you both just flirt and smirk and wink and sometimes it feels like it has to evolve into something more, but it has always been enough.

But you're currently moaning from pain on the couch right next to him and his face hurts from frowning so hard.

"Hey, what's going on?"

Another two steps (strides) towards you, a hesitant hand hovering next to you, not knowing where to go to provide comfort without hurting you further. You turn your head toward the sound of his voice, painfully, and squint as if everything was blurry.

"Hi," you drawl out, a lazy smile on your face. "I missed you."

A flutter in the stomach, a soft and content sigh.

"I missed you too. What happened? I thought you didn't have any mission coming up?"

"I didn't," you say and he frowns. "Remember that undercover mission where I got shot last month?" He nods and you wince before continuing. His gaze falls on your hip, because he remembers that gunshot, a bit too well. "Well, maybe I didn't really follow the doctor's orders. I mean, I did. I just got back to work too early. But it wasn't that deep. Like a flesh wound. But, anyway." Another wince. "Turns out it got a little infected. So I'm back on antibiotics and painkillers for a week."

It physically hurts him too, to see your glazed and glossy eyes, constant frown and lips turned downwards, but he still chuckles at your rambling, and the fact that you couldn't stand to stay on bed rest for more than two days. He crouches down next to you, pushing a strand of hair out of your eyes because you've been trying to get rid off it for the past minute by blowing air on it, but it just doesn't work.

"Yeah well please try and listen, next time," Sam's voice is back, and you just know he rolled his eyes. The sound of boxes and a glass clinking against the table can be heard, and he lays a hand on Bucky's shoulder. "Here's the doctor's prescription. Antibiotics, painkillers, water. She probably won't sleep tonight." He crouches down too, a hand resting on her forearm. "I'm gonna let Tin Man here keep you company, alright? If I don't wake up for training tomorrow, Steve is gonna have my head."

You hum distractedly as you watch Bucky fumble with the prescription and meticulously prepare your pills, tongue stuck out as his blue eyes are squinted. Cleaning out his weapons probably doesn't require as much attention and care, and you can't help but laugh at his expression. A super-soldier, being able to aim at an enemy's head without even sparing him a glance, but putting so much effort into getting your meds right, and it makes your chest swell with something you can't quite place, but it's warm, definitely warm. Burning. He perks up at the sound of your laugh, only to send you a glare, and then a few seconds later he proudly hands you the right amount of pills.

"Thank you," you say with a smile, a hand lingering a bit too long on his skin. He helps you get propped up against the cosy and snug cushions and while you take your meds, he's busy finding you a soft and fluffy blanket, resting it on top of you.

"Here." He's sitting next to you again, leaning more and more every time you let a groan escape your lips.

"Would you mind knocking me off so I can sleep?"

An amused chuckle but a fond movement of the head, from left to right.

"You weren't sleeping?" You talk again.

He shakes his head again. "Nah. I was catching up on Sam's movie recommendation list."

"Can you put something on?"

It takes you ten minutes to decide on Blade Runner, and in fear of hurting you, he slides down against the couch again, his head thrown back a little and you can see his face if you look down, the colors displayed on the TV screen dancing across his soft and tired features. He's just so pretty.

You extend your left arm, and it is dangling from the couch, fingers softly brushing Bucky's shoulders. Scratching his neck, his ear. Running through his shiny locks, the smell of his shampoo invading your senses. He cranes his neck backwards to get a better look at you, and he notices your smile and the glinting in your eyes from upside down. You hum as his flesh hand grab yours, thumb stroking your skin. He lets it rest on his shoulder again, putting his attention back to the movie playing in front of him.

It takes another twenty minutes of gentle fingers running on his skin, insistent staring at his neck, back muscles, hair and shoulders, for you to talk again, painkillers having kicked in.

"Please come and lie with me. You're not gonna hurt me," your voice can't compete with the fight scene on screen, but you're leaning right next to his ear, and if he doesn't move for a second, he certainly heard you. "Hold me?"

This is the something more you have both been yearning for. There wasn't any moment that was right before, but this one is.

It takes a few minutes for the two of you to find a position that doesn't hurt your hip, lots of groans and painful winces. But then you're lying between his legs, back resting against his toned abdomen, head nestled in the crook of his neck with strands probably tickling his skin but he doesn't say anything because he likes the smell of your shampoo too, and he's warmer than the blanket.

That something more, the next step in a dynamic based on small smiles across the quinjet and subtly tangled legs, is going to have to wait until you don't have to ingest the highest dose of painkillers humanly possible to move without wincing, but it is there. Hanging in the air, waiting to be seized. In the way Bucky holds you, runs the back of his flesh hand up and down your arm, and softly kisses your neck.

[nvzblgrrl]

Part 1 Heyo man, I'm absolutely ecstatic that you have this whole One Piece Big Fic project in the works. I'm honestly p paranoid about interacting with words, but your works have been something I've continuously enjoyed going back to and rereading over all these years. And while you've grown and your earlier stuff feels cringe, there's a charm that Witt and Witticism and all of your earlier works have that is longlasting. And I, and apparently others, can't help but love.

Part 2 I've probably reread your fics a good thousand times by now. Like seriously I've got a good bunch of the fics you posted on AO3 saved as PDFs for my own personal reading when I feel the urge. Namely Luck of The Draw, Ultimate Symbiote, and a portion of your Chain Adventures. I've been here quietly reading for a long time and I'm gonna make sure to properly give feedback this time. Good luck in your absolutely bonkers endeavor!

Yeah, absolute mood on the ‘cringe’ part. I think the only excuse I can make for the really early stuff is that -

(this is gonna get loooong and reference child abuse + the 2000′s-2010′s meme culture, so pre-emptive apologies)

1. I had a really messed up upbringing. Not as bad as some people’s situations but still on the deeper end of bad by the ‘White American’ standard and still (albeit barely) within the bounds of Funny Sitcom Abuse Antics (at least for mid-2000′s and older stuff) most of the time. Most of it was neglect and social isolation - I pretty much left the property to go to school, church, and to visit relatives because of court-mandated visitation, the last of which probably kept me from going insane, and that was it aside from events where my dad needed an accessory to compliment his public mask - but there were some other shit mixed in that relied on the Trunchbull Rule (it has to sound too weird to be real so nobody believes it/takes it seriously) to happen.

So besides like, the PTSD from that (which has a habit of bleeding into all of my works, which you’ve probably noticed by now, lmao), I had like, zero experience on healthy relationships, social skills (well outside of a few variations on ‘messed up friendships’ and what I picked up from books, movies, and TV), and basic life skills outside of stuff like ‘boil water and follow the box directions’).

2. I got into the internet really late compared to my generation and everyone after. This was mostly because we had literally no semi-reliable internet access until I was about 11-13 and that was either the school internet or the dial-up at home (which of course was time-limited with the time shared with my brother and done on the family computer with observation in effect). Most of that was spent on like flash games or webcomics, many of which I have tried to reread only to find them gouging my soul because god what the hell was happening in 2007 - wait. Yeah.

It got better by the time we hit high school because by then we had our own computers (not scanners though, I had to pass art and passwords over to a friend of mine to get them on the internet for a couple years before we got one at home), a better internet connection, and high levels of parental disengagement as we proved to be disappointments despite our previous ‘potential’ (my dad was hoping for me to become a life-long cash cow for him, IDK what was going on with my brother and his mom), which meant I could spend more time on the internet... which at the time, meant DeviantArt and FF.net (tumblr came way, waaay at the end of my time in high school).

Yes, that’s where I started out. That should explain a good 90% of why the early stuff was Like That.

Also don’t look for my DeviantArt because I deleted the whole thing years ago, for cringe reasons - namely, a really, really stupid minor war over something I can’t even remember but it ran a lot like those old ‘Potterheads Get Your Wands’ posts, though the fact that 80% of my output towards the end were extremely banal and/or fucking insane One Piece (and occasionally Soul Eater) Demotivator Posters didn’t help.

Pictured: proof of my crimes against humanity (with some minor repeats - every single one of those demovitators are something I did and that’s not even all of them) despite my attempts to destroy the evidence, because the internet (and pinterest) never forget and often reposts without permission.

[Image description: a series of drawn images of a man. the first panel is of him looking at a computer with the subtitle ‘recognition’, the second is a close-up of him with sweat and a look of surprise on his face along with two exclamation points subtitled ‘realization’, the third and final image is an extreme close up of his intensely stressed expression subtitled ‘fear’.]

[Image description, but funny: me accidentally coming across one of those reposts a couple years ago.]

I personally can’t forget because I know my style at the time (it had a few variations, but all of them have been seared into my soul) and how inane/insane some of them read. My favorite was one that ended up turning into a word vomit about how cool Gol D. Roger was that ran so far that it didn’t fit inside the format anymore and ended up running off of the page repeatedly.

...and yes, I did make one edit that was ‘Dead or Alive? is that a trick question?’ for Brook. That one’s still circulating too.

3. While that covers a certain amount of the problems with the early work, Witt and Witticism stands out as a pinnacle because I was both using a reaction heavy style (I was pretty much doing a live-blog of my One Piece anime rewatch in fanfic form, using Witt as a mouth piece - a similar style was used with Ultimate Symbiote but fortified with a few original stories and actual non-canon stuff happening!) and going through the tail end an extreme manic period brought on by escaping (read: getting kicked out of because they were no longer socially or legally obligated to care for me anymore) my abusive childhood home + having money (from my dead mom’s social security).

Seriously, that year was bonkers. I got to go to Disneyworld, got a new cat, published an insane fic, and blew through so much money on some dumb fucking shit when my dad wasn’t stealing it because I didn’t realize he had access to my then-bank account.

Also I’m pretty sure that you can detect when my sanity/depression started reasserting itself in the last few chapters of Witt because he starts experiencing consequences, though I’m not saying you should reread it to try to locate that moment because I’m having to re-read it repeatedly for reference purposes and I don’t think anyone should have to suffer this unless they’re into that (which admittedly, might be the result of that ‘charm’ you mentioned, because I can’t otherwise account for how that fic got over a quarter of a million hits otherwise).

Not to say that all of my early stuff was bad (some of it was actually shockingly good once I found it again, even though it was flawed) but the most easily accessible stuff is... not great!

And thanks for the well-wishes. I’m gonna need that luck if I want to get through it. I look forward to the feedback!

[softichill]

I have been sending these in late lately, but that's because I've been pouring my creative juices into my story. It feels like I'm squeezed dry when I finish. But it's making me so happy I know it's worth it. Problem is I lose the topics I think to talk to you about. But 3800+ words on a fic is impressive. I just wish I could share it with you. It's meant to be a gift for a dude who drew me some body horror and I think it's one of the best things I've ever wrote. But I trust you enough to share it incomplete. So if you finish The Stanley Parable I'll gladly send it your way (triggers warnings provided beforehand ofc). I could write you a thingy after I finish but I'd need to be able to know the characters. Haven't played Hollow Knight since sis got employed. But it feels like I could write for that judging by what I've seen so far. Love me some angst bugs. And spiders and arachnids. I wish you weren't arachnaphobic. I have such neat spider facts. Maybe you should raise a jumper. They are harmless. And recognize you to boot! But if you don't that's ok. It's just a thing. Everyone has something. Arachnophoba is yours and mycophobia is mine. Still doesn't stop me from naming each breeloom Molybdites after the most common culprit of fungal food poisoning in I think America. Today I should get my ultrasound results so I'll tell you if I'm dying. Ever hear Welcome To My World by Depeche Mode? If you are already a fan feel free to send me any song as good as that from them cause I think it may be their magnum opus.

I'd really like to read the fic!!! Based on how you've talked about it it seems like a really cool one, I've been wanting to watch a playthrough of the Stanley Parable for a while now and this just might be my incentive to do it!

Sadly, I don't think I can raise a spider ;; especially a jumping one. I know a majority of them are harmless, I've tried every trick in the book to get over my fear, but I still can't get within 5 feet of one knowingly :(( Doesn't stop me from liking spider characters tho!!! Hornet's one of my favorite Hollow Knight characters and I've always really liked Muffet from Undertale

Ooo I really like the song! I've never heard their other stuff before but this definitely seems like a Magnum Opus type song

How about Cradles by Sub Urban? Kind of an opposite message to Welcome to My World lol

[allcheatscodes]

resident evil 3 nemesis dreamcast

http://allcheatscodes.com/resident-evil-3-nemesis-dreamcast/

resident evil 3 nemesis dreamcast

Resident Evil 3: Nemesis cheats & more for Dreamcast (DC)

Cheats

Unlockables

Hints

Easter Eggs

Glitches

Guides

Get the updated and latest Resident Evil 3: Nemesis cheats, unlockables, codes, hints, Easter eggs, glitches, tricks, tips, hacks, downloads, guides, hints, FAQs, walkthroughs, and more for Dreamcast (DC). AllCheatsCodes.com has all the codes you need to win every game you play!

Use the links above or scroll down to see all the Dreamcast cheats we have available for Resident Evil 3: Nemesis.

Check PlayStation cheats for this game

Check GameCube cheats for this game

Genre: Action, Survival Horror Developer: Capcom Publisher: Capcom ESRB Rating: Mature Release Date: May 23, 2008

Hints

Boutique Key

To get the Boutique Key, which unlocks the Boutique in uptown (where all the extra outfits are), finish the game in less than 7 hours using only 30 Ink Ribbons.

Jill’s Diary

Collect all thirty notes and books in the game to replace the first book in your file with Jill's Diary. Jill's Diary reads as followed:August 7thTwo weeks have passed since that day. My wounds have been healed, but I just can't forget it. For most people, it's history now. But for me, whenever I close my eyes, it all comes back clearly. Zombies eating people's flesh and the screams of my teammates dying. No, the wounds in my heart are not healed yet.August 13thChris has been causing a lot of trouble recently. What's with him? He seldom talks to the other police members and is constantly irritated. The other day, he punched Elran of the Boy's Crime department just for accidentally splashing Chris's face with coffee. I immediately stopped Chris, but when he saw me he just gave me a wink and walked away. I wonder what happened to him.August 15thMidnight. Chris, who has been on a leave of absence for a "vacation," called me so I visited his apartment. As soon as I walked into his room, he showed me a couple of pieces of paper. They were part of a virus research report entitled as simply as "G". Then Chris told me that, "The nightmare still continues." He went on to say that, "It's not over yet." Ever since that day, he has been fighting all by himself without rest, without even telling me.August 24thChris left the town today to go to Europe. Barry told me that he would send his family to Canada and then he would follow Chris. I decided to remain in Raccoon City for a while because I know that the research facility in this city will be very important to this entire case. In a month or so, I'll be joining with them somewhere in Europe. That's when my real battle begins.

Epilogues

Successfully complete the game on the hard difficulty setting to unlock an Epilogue. Epilogues are a short diary description of each character in the entire Resident Evil series which describes what happened with that specific person after their adventure. Successfully complete the game on the hard difficulty setting eight times to unlock all Epilogues. All eight Epilogues read as followed:Jill ValentineAfter escaping the city, Jill set out to join Chris Redfield. However, all she found was an empty hideout of Chris's. On the floor was Chris's knife. Jill left without hesitation because she firmly believes that Chris is still alive. She will search for him until she finds him. Then they can go and put an end to Umbrella.Chris Redfield"Please forgive me Claire." Chris Redfield has just finished this letter with his signature phrase. As he removes his sunglasses, a lady walks by him with light steps. "She looks about the same age as Claire," he thinks. A short time later, Chris discovered that his sister was looking for him, but was caught. Barry BurtonBarry Burton looks at his young daughters and says, "I'm sorry but my comrades are waiting for me." He knows that he must repay his teammates for forgiving his betrayal. Even if that means leaving his family for now. His wife tries to hide her fear, so she smiles and says, "Don't worry. We'll be OK."Leon KennedyLeon Scott Kennedy is confronted by a man who claims to be a U.S. government agent. Leon says, "Leave Sherry alone. She is innocent." "She knows too much," the man replies. He looks at Leon and says, "But you have value. This is a good deal. Make your choice." Without regret or hesitation, Leon closes his eyes and then sharply responds.Claire Redfield"Leave us alone." Claire Redfield couldn't believe Leon's words. Leon continued, "You're looking for your brother, right? Just go!" Claire knew that Leon and Sherry needed immediate medical attention, but she could not waste anymore time. "I. I'll be back. I promise!" She said as she disappeared into the wilderness alone.Sherry Birkin"Do you have any relatives?" When the army officer asked her, Sherry Birkin did not respond for she has no immediate relatives. Her father and mother died because of the G-virus. And so, this little girl holds herself with her arms and bites her lip tight. She thinks, "I'm sure she will come back. She won't forget about me."Ada WongA woman looks at herself in the mirror. She used to be called Ada Wong. But this morning she will say good-bye to the name. "I'm not Ada Wong anymore." She feels her ab and thinks, "This is Ada's scar, not mine." And as she says good-bye to Ada Wong, she can't stop her tears. However, there isn't much time left before her next mission.Hunk, the 4th Survivor"Once again, only you survived, Mr. Death," the chopper pilot speaks with a cold bitterness. "Always, only you, survive, Mr. Death," the pilot continues. But Hunk does not respond to the pilot. He doesn't care. "The Death cannot die.," the survivor thinks to himself with a warm smile.

Cheats

Currently we have no cheats or codes for Resident Evil 3: Nemesis yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Unlockables

Currently we have no unlockables for Resident Evil 3: Nemesis yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Easter eggs

Currently we have no easter eggs for Resident Evil 3: Nemesis yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Glitches

Currently we have no glitches for Resident Evil 3: Nemesis yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Guides

Currently no guide available.

[allcheatscodes]

resident evil zero gamecube

http://allcheatscodes.com/resident-evil-zero-gamecube/

resident evil zero gamecube

Resident Evil Zero cheats & more for GameCube (GameCube)

Cheats

Unlockables

Hints

Easter Eggs

Glitches

Guides

Get the updated and latest Resident Evil Zero cheats, unlockables, codes, hints, Easter eggs, glitches, tricks, tips, hacks, downloads, guides, hints, FAQs, walkthroughs, and more for GameCube (GameCube). AllCheatsCodes.com has all the codes you need to win every game you play!

Use the links above or scroll down to see all the GameCube cheats we have available for Resident Evil Zero.

Genre: Action, Survival Horror Developer: Capcom Publisher: Capcom ESRB Rating: Mature Release Date: November 14, 2002

Hints

How To Beat Tyrant

The best way to kill Tyrant is to have your Granade luncher with any ammo, and just shoot him in the head and he will fall in the fourth shot.

Leech Hunter Prizes

Instead of wasting time collecting 20.40.60.80.and 100 leeches trying to find out what you’ll get for them,look at this, see what you want, or need.

A rank-(great.but hard to get)Infinite ammo for all th weapons you find throughout the game.B rank-(cool)You get the most powerful gun in the game.the magnum revolver, but.you have to find it in the train, in the passenger's cabin.C rank-(no need for, unless you cant get the A rank) Infinite hunting gun ammo.D rank-(pretty good.if you can't get the A rank) Infinite handgun ammo.E rank-(you'll find out) Sub-machine gun ammo.

Jill’s Diary

Collect all thirty notes and books in the game to replace the first book in your file with Jill’s Diary. Jill’s Diary reads as followed:

August 7th Two weeks have passed since that day. My wounds have been healed, but I just can't forget it. For most people, it's history now. But for me, whenever I close my eyes, it all comes back clearly. Zombies eating people's flesh and the screams of my teammates dying. No, the wounds in my heart are not healed yet.August 13th Chris has been causing a lot of trouble recently. What's with him? He seldom talks to the other police members and is constantly irritated. The other day, he punched Elran of the Boy's Crime department just for accidentally splashing Chris's face with coffee. I immediately stopped Chris, but when he saw me he just gave me a wink and walked away. I wonder what happened to him.August 15th Midnight. Chris, who has been on a leave of absence for a "vacation," called me so I visited his apartment. As soon as I walked into his room, he showed me a couple of pieces of paper. They were part of a virus research report entitled as simply as "G". Then Chris told me that, "The nightmare still continues." He went on to say that, "It's not over yet." Ever since that day, he has been fighting all by himself without rest, without even telling me.August 24th Chris left the town today to go to Europe. Barry told me that he would send his family to Canada and then he would follow Chris. I decided to remain in Raccoon City for a while because I know that the research facility in this city will be very important to this entire case. In a month or so, I'll be joining with them somewhere in Europe. That's when my real battle begins.

Epilogues

Successfully complete the game on the hard difficulty setting to unlock an Epilogue. Epilogues are a short diary description of each character in the entire Resident Evil series which describes what happened with that specific person after their adventure. Successfully complete the game on the hard difficulty setting eight times to unlock all Epilogues. All eight Epilogues read as followed:

Jill Valentine After escaping the city, Jill set out to join Chris Redfield. However, all she found was an empty hideout of Chris's. On the floor was Chris's knife. Jill left without hesitation because she firmly believes that Chris is still alive. She will search for him until she finds him. Then they can go and put an end to Umbrella.Chris Redfield "Please forgive me Claire." Chris Redfield has just finished this letter with his signature phrase. As he removes his sunglasses, a lady walks by him with light steps. "She looks about the same age as Claire," he thinks. A short time later, Chris discovered that his sister was looking for him, but was caught.Barry Burton Barry Burton looks at his young daughters and says, "I'm sorry but my comrades are waiting for me." He knows that he must repay his teammates for forgiving his betrayal. Even if that means leaving his family for now. His wife tries to hide her fear, so she smiles and says, "Don't worry. We'll be OK."Leon Kennedy Leon Scott Kennedy is confronted by a man who claims to be a U.S. government agent. Leon says, "Leave Sherry alone. She is innocent." "She knows too much," the man replies. He looks at Leon and says, "But you have value. This is a good deal. Make your choice." Without regret or hesitation, Leon closes his eyes and then sharply responds.Claire Redfield "Leave us alone." Claire Redfield couldn't believe Leon's words. Leon continued, "You're looking for your brother, right? Just go!" Claire knew that Leon and Sherry needed immediate medical attention, but she could not waste anymore time. "I. I'll be back. I promise!" She said as she disappeared into the wilderness alone.Sherry Birkin "Do you have any relatives?" When the army officer asked her, Sherry Birkin did not respond for she has no immediate relatives. Her father and mother died because of the G-virus. And so, this little girl holds herself with her arms and bites her lip tight. She thinks, "I'm sure she will come back. She won't forget about me."Ada Wong A woman looks at herself in the mirror. She used to be called Ada Wong. But this morning she will say good-bye to the name. "I'm not Ada Wong anymore." She feels her ab and thinks, "This is Ada's scar, not mine." And as she says good-bye to Ada Wong, she can't stop her tears. However, there isn't much time left before her next mission.Hunk, the 4th Survivor "Once again, only you survived, Mr. Death," the chopper pilot speaks with a cold bitterness. "Always, only you, survive, Mr. Death," the pilot continues. But Hunk does not respond to the pilot. He doesn't care. "The Death cannot die.," the survivor thinks to himself with a warm smile.

Alternate Costumes

Successfully complete the game on the easy difficulty setting with any rank better than an F to unlock Jill’s costume from the original Resident Evil and Regina’s costume from Dino Crisis. Successfully complete the game on the hard difficulty setting with a rank of D to unlock two costumes, C for three, B for four, and A for all five costumes. The three additional costumes are a police miniskirt, disco, and biker outfits.

Boutique Key

Successfully complete the game once and wait for the credits to end, then save the “Next Game” file to receive the key to the Boutique on the first street at the start of the game. Use the key to enter and change into an alternate costume.

Mercenary Mode

Successfully complete the game once on any difficulty setting and wait for the credits to end, then save the “Next Game” file to unlock “The Mercenaries” mini-game. Start a new game, choose that saved game, then select “The Mercenaries” mode. This mode involves controlling Carlos, Mikhal, or Nikoli from the train to the starting room with a two minute timer. Killing the various opponents and rescuing civilians during the journey will add extra money and more time to the clock. A rank and money will be awarded after the game is completed. The money can be used to purchase better weapons and infinite ammunition.

S Ranking

When defeating the game, you get different rankings based on how long it took you. The S ranking is the highest, and you get the best extra goodies from acheiving this ranking. In order to get this ranking, you have to beat the game in under 3 mins 30 secs. THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE TO DO IF YOU HAVE NOT TRIED THE LEECH HUNTER GAME! Beat the game once to unlock the Leech Hunter game and collect all 100 lecches (It’s easier if you kill all the enemies first and then drop all you items and look for the leeches). By doing this, you will get extra guns and unlimited ammo. Now you don’t have to worry about collecting ammo or switching characters as often.

Broken Ladder

Do you not know what to do with the hookshot on the train? Remember the broken ladder in the room where you first saw zombies. Use the hookshot there to get you on the roof. On the roof have Rebecca jump into a hole. Kill the zombie and get your briefcase key.

Easy Kill

When killing a monster be sure to find its weak spot and the best weapon to use against it. I’ll will list the weak spots I know and the weapon to use.

Zombie- The best spot is the head. I like to use the pistol on them because they're not that hard to kill (why waste your good bullets). Leeches- Don't even waste your bullets on them. Watch your partner, make sure he doesn't waste your bullets on them. Leech Men- It's best to run past them to if you can, but if that's not possible then use your molotvo cocktails. If you don't have any then shoot off his head so he can't see you or shoot off his arms so he can't hit you. If you hit him enough he will be nothing but a pair of legs. Thats when you run because he will blow up with in a few seconds. Spiders- Spiders aren't that hard to kill but, they are very sneaky. Watch the walls because thats where they usually are. Make sure they don't hit you with poison.I would suggest the shotgun. Insect Larva- They aren't that hard. You can sometimes hear them from a distance unless they're on the cieling. I would suggest the shotgun. Monkeys- Monkeys are very fast and hard to hit. Make sure they don't jump on your back. I like to use the Grenade Launcher. If not then the shotgun. Scorpions- They look big and hard, but the aren't. Aim at their head with the shotgun. Dogs- Dogs are fast and hard to hit but other than that they're pretty easy. I suggest the pistol. Skinless Beasts- They can be kind of difficult because of they're speed and power. I used the Grenade Launcher on them.

The Brakes Code For The Train (Only)

The code is quite simple if your stuck, then you come to the right place. There are then little dots, you have to fill each one out with a number or you can’t complete the code. When you reach the driver car have Rebecca stay and then have Billy go to where you got the hookshot, don’t forget the magnetic card. When you reach the place where you got the hookshot just insert the card and you’ll need a total to equal 81, then just insert 9 eight times then insert 3 twice that should equal 81. The next code with Rebecca will probably be 36 just select 3 nine times then just insert 9 then that should complete the code for the Brakes.

Leech Game

To unlock the mini game Leech Hunter, just beat the game once.

Cheats

Currently we have no cheats or codes for Resident Evil Zero yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Unlockables

Currently we have no unlockables for Resident Evil Zero yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Easter eggs

Currently we have no easter eggs for Resident Evil Zero yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Glitches

Currently we have no glitches for Resident Evil Zero yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Guides

Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.

Currently no guide available.