#I haven’t made fanart in ages so I hope this is okay!

[fayesephone]

[hawthornewhisperer]

epiphanies

Some DILF!Draco for @ambpersand. Currently 1,500 words and rated T, but I hope to add a second chapter tonight/tomorrow/soon that would be rated M. This will stay tumblr-only until I have that second chapter ready, then I'll put the whole shebang up on Ao3.

Inspired by this incredible fanart by @mignon-chignon and thank you to @bgonemydear for her on-the-spot betaing.

Hermione hadn’t even finished getting dressed when the owl from the Ministry arrived. She scanned the note, swore under her breath, and dashed off a reply. If the Mitford hearing had been moved up, that meant she needed the files and she needed them today.

She had last seen them in Malfoy's briefcase as he went home two days ago, but he'd been out of the office ever since. She hurried up the stairs to her building’s owlery, scribbled a note to Malfoy and returned to her flat, hoping against hope she was wrong.

His return owl arrived when she was halfway through her toast and she groaned under her breath. Mitford files are at my place. I’ll leave them in the Floo Parlor.

That was it, not even his initials as a sign off. “Rude prat,” she grumbled under her breath. Malfoy had been working at the firm with her for the past six months, and while he was no longer the sneering bully she remembered from Hogwarts, he was an exceedingly grumpy arsehole most of the time. Everything he said was clipped and sardonic, and he seemed to have a deathly allergy to saying thank you. She would have hated working with him if he wasn’t so bloody good at his job, which had downgraded her feelings towards him from “loathe completely” to “tolerate grudgingly.”

Hermione always did have a weakness for competence.

She grabbed her blazer and joined the queue in the lobby for the floo, still piling her hair into a bun on the top of her head when she took her turn.

Malfoy’s Floo Parlor was immaculate. It looked like a magazine spread, tastefully decorated and without even a speck of dust. In contrast, her tiny flat looked like a library had exploded in it, largely because one basically had.

But of course Malfoy’s was neat and tidy and...empty. The Mitford files were nowhere to be seen. She let loose a swear that would have made her ex-husband proud and steeled herself to walk into Malfoy’s apartment proper, wishing she had had time for an extra cup of tea if she was going to have to deal with his surly face before nine am.

She pushed open the door to the rest of his flat, ready to snap at him, and froze.

He had his back to her, looking out the expansive window that framed much of London, and the first thing she noticed was he had a very nice back.

A very nice bare back, because he was shirtless. Shirtless and holding a baby.

She knew he had a child, of course. He had one framed photo of the boy on his desk— the only photo of any kind in his entire office, which otherwise resembled a prison cell with a very fancy sofa— but Malfoy did not talk about personal matters at work. All she knew was his name— Scorpius— and that he was approximately Albus Potter’s age.

The little boy shared his father’s blond hair, but there was a soft curl to the ends that must have come from his mother. The Malfoy-Greengrass divorce had been the subject of more than one gossip page article, but Hermione hadn’t read any of them— she didn’t like how exploitative they felt, turning people’s pain into sport for entertainment.

Not that she cared much about Malfoy’s pain, per se, but it was the principle of the thing.

Scorpius’s eyes were red rimmed and his cheeks looked sticky with tears as he eyed her over his father’s shoulder. His father’s exceptionally muscled, well defined, bare shoulder. The boy pawed at his eye with a chubby fist and she watched as Draco pressed a soft kiss to the side of his son’s head, the sort of careless affection she was used to seeing from Harry with his boys but she had never once thought she would see from Malfoy. “It’s okay buddy, I know. It hurts,” she heard him murmur, and she realized she had been staring for entirely too long.

She cleared her throat and he turned with a start. “Fuck, the Mitford files,” he said, the soft look on his face vanishing in an instant.

Hermione felt an odd sort of loss when his familiar cold mask slipped into place, like she had gotten a glimpse of something she would never see again.

Why she wanted to see that look on his face again was a mystery she didn't much feel like solving.

“They’re in my study, hold on,” he added, shifting Scorpius higher on his hip and padding barefoot towards a closed door.

Hermione used his absence to compose herself. She was just thrown by seeing her coworker out of context, that was all.

Out of context and shirtless with an unfairly sculpted chest, plus a pair of joggers slung low across his hips. Did all men have muscles that arrowed down from their hips like that? That was not something she had seen in the flesh before, and it had her flustered.

By the time he returned with the Mitford file, she was thoroughly uncomposed. “You know if you’re going to be off work you really shouldn’t take home client files that can’t be owled,” she snapped.

Anger flashed across his face. “I’ll be sure to have Scorpius schedule his sleep regressions and teething fits with you next time,” he growled.

“It’s nothing to do with him,” she said, doing her best to keep her eyes anywhere but where they wanted to be, which was staring at the play of morning light on the planes of his chest. “These files are supposed to stay at the office for a reason, Malfoy.”

Exhaustion abruptly flooded his features. He pressed his thumb and forefinger into his eyes and Scorpius nuzzled into his neck. “I know,” he said, broad shoulders slumping. “Look, this week has been hell. I didn’t think I would be out this long. I’m sorry,” he added, and quite frankly, she never thought Draco Malfoy would ever apologize to her for anything.

The shock from hearing those two words was the only explanation for what came out of her mouth next. “When was the last time you showered?”

Something that was almost a smile tugged the corner of his mouth up. “I look that bad, huh?”

Actually he looked like a Greek god carved out of marble but she wasn’t about to tell him that. And he did have rather alarming purple shadows under his eyes, plus stubble that indicated it had been several days since he shaved. “You’ve looked better,” she said, reaching out and plucking Scorpius from his arm. “I don’t have to be in for a bit. Go shower.”

He hesitated, but Scorpius was already interestedly pulling at her hair. “Okay,” Malfoy said, something unreadable in his grey eyes. “It’ll only be a minute.”

Hermione stuck her tongue out at Scorpius, who giggled. “Take your time.”

By the time Malfoy emerged from his bedroom, freshly showered and shaved and in jeans and a white v-neck shirt, Hermione and Scorpius were on the living room floor while he clambered all over her like a muggle jungle gym. Scorpius was fascinated by her hair and was sitting next to her while she laid flat on her back, grabbing chubby fistfuls and yanking on it.

“Careful, he’ll skin you bald if you let him,” Malfoy drawled.

She pushed herself up to sitting, at first grateful Draco had put on a shirt and then disappointed as it meant his chest was now hidden from view. But then he crossed his arms and the muscles in his biceps strained against the sleeve of his shirt, and she circled back to grateful again.

“There’s plenty to go around,” she said, gently prying Scorpius’s hand from her hair and retying it into a bun. Draco's gaze rested on her as she did, and an unaccountable blush started crawling up her neck.

“Sorry about earlier,” he said, sitting down on the couch, lifting Scorpius into his lap and bringing the total number of apologies she had ever heard from his lips to two.

She shrugged. “Honestly? You’ve been worse.”

He huffed, a noise that almost sounded like a laugh. “I have been a prat, haven’t I? Between the divorce and Scorpius, I’ve been an arsehole at the office. I’ll try and do better,” he said.

The utter sincerity of his words drew her up short. “Actually, I was talking about Hogwarts but yes, you have been a prat at the office.”

Draco blinked. “Fuck, I— I never apologized for that, did I?”

“You didn’t, but it’s okay,” she said surprising herself. Apologies were nice, but they didn't mean much if the person didn't actually try to improve. She wasn’t sure when, exactly, but at some point in the last six months she had stopped thinking of who Malfoy used to be and accepted that he had changed for the better.

“It’s not, though,” he said. “Again, with the divorce and everything I’ve been— it’s isolating, is all. I'm sorry.”

“Pity there’s no one else in this room who knows what it’s like to go through a divorce,” she said drily.

His eyebrows shot up. “Are you saying I can come to you for tea and sympathy, Granger?”

“I’m saying you don’t have to do this all alone,” she said gently, and stood. “McAvoy will be waiting on the Mitford brief though. I should get going.”

He stood, Scorpius once again snuggling into his chest. “Thanks, Granger. I owe you one,” he said.

Hermione leaned over to place a kiss on Scorpius’s soft curls without even thinking. She could smell Draco’s skin that close, the soap and shampoo from his shower filling her nostrils. “I’ll hold you to that,” she said, and headed towards the Floo Parlor, Mitford files safely in hand.

She only wished she could say the same for her hormones.

[butterflyinthewell]

RPF…

RPF, for those who don’t know, stands for Real Person Fiction.

This is meant to spark discussion, so anyone coming in with bad faith takes like “why do you wanna draw p0rn of minors so bad” will get blocked because I actually don’t want to draw anybody and I’m hoping to see nuanced discussion about RPF itself since it’s a bit controversial.

Personally, RPF weirds me out because it feels voyeuristic, and the idea of minors being written about that way freaks me out a lot. It’s the main reason I avoid RPF stuff. I don’t harass people who make it, I just don’t want to look at their stuff.

I’ve nudged in RPF a little bit with my fics by having real people appear in them as characters, but it was more a case of real people being injected into fictional worlds and not stories about them specifically. That’s about as far in as I personally am willing to go in creating it.

I feel like this subject is almost impossible to discuss without censorship being brought up and I’m not sure how to broach it, so I’m going to spill my thoughts on the matter.

“RPF” in the form of major media stuff (ie movies like The Theory of Everything, or historical figures popping up on a time travel show like Doctor Who) is one thing because I’m sure it has to go through a lot of approval about what is and isn’t okay to portray about that person before it can get made, whereas fan creators can just create it and post it.

If it’s a teenager writing a smutty fantasy and it’s the awkward teen stuff you see in typical fanfiction written by young teens, that’s one thing, that’s just a teen being a teen. I would be a lot more bothered by an adult writing about a celeb minor with intense focus on things like their developing bodies/genitals, where it’s obvious they’re turned on by the fact that they’re drooling over a child’s body.

At the same time, there’s also the recognition that writing about doing something to somebody and actually physically doing it to them are very different things. Writing about a real child that way is disgustingly creepy, no argument there, but it’s still not the same as someone actually putting their hands on that child.

If they haven’t seen that celeb naked, their portrayal may be totally inaccurate. (Maybe they don’t have freckles there, maybe they shave certain areas, etc.) Still, it’s imagining a real living child, not an imaginary character like Rin or Shippou from Inuyasha. I feel like that’s where the fulcrum of this is, and, again, I don’t know how to discuss it without censorship being brought up.

There is also the possibility of the person being written about stumbling into it and being horrified, and I think they should have the right to issue a takedown of that story regardless of age.

For obvious reasons, any sexual images drawn of any celebrity child is CSEM because that’s drawing a real, living child in a sexual situation and that’s never okay.

I feel like the line is clearer if someone is drawing fanart of, say, Izzy from Transformers 5 naked because that is still the recognizable likeness of Isobel Manor, a real person who was a minor in that movie. That would be CSEM even if you drew her with Bumblebee in the background because she’s a real, recognizable person.

Obviously, drawing a character like Ed Elric from FullMetal Alchemist or Lextington from Gargoyles are different because they only exist as drawings with actors supplying voices. Personally, I’m uncomfortable with it, but I leave it alone because they’re not real. I look away.

The line blurs when we consider characters played by minor actors in heavy makeup, like Deep Space Nine’s Nog character (Aaron Eisenberg) where he looks very different without his Ferengi makeup. We have no idea what Ferengi look like under their clothes, so someone could give him a totally alien body that’s unrecognizable from the person wearing the makeup on set. Where is the line there? I would be bothered by it, but that’s my own opinion.

(If it helps, I wouldn’t be bothered at all by an image of Odo or Worf portrayed sexually because Rene Auberjonois and Michael Dorn were/are adults.)

What about someone wearing lighter makeup, perhaps playing a Vulcan? Their face is still recognizable, all that changes are the hair(sometimes), the eyebrows and the ears.

So where is the line? It’s fairly clear with drawn art, but it’s still not crystal clear.

With writing, it’s even blurrier.

I think the written RPF issue feels like a discussion with several layers of nuance specifically because there’s that barrier of it being written and not drawn, so it’s not immediately visual.

I wish AO3 had an unlisted option like YouTube where people could only see a fic if they had a link, because that would minimize the number of eyes on questionable stuff while the legality and morality of it get figured out. (Also, it can give authors ways to share works that could minimize harassment.)

I hope I stated my thoughts clearly. Again, I stress that I don’t harass people for their content and I don’t want to associate with people who do. I’ve seen some division about RPF and am curious about your thoughts on it.

Discuss.

[rachelillustrates]

Comic review time!

Some thoughts on the Harlivy section of “Love is a Battlefield.”

(Featuring crappy cell phone photos taken as I was reading it on a computer that is not my own, so proper screencaps were not an option.)

🍃💞 Spoilers follow. 💞🍃

Okay, so even though I had read some reviews that accurately called out the toeing-the-line style queerphobia that we so often get with these two Wives, I still went and bought this. I can’t help but hope that voting with our dollars for all Harlivy content that acknowledges them as together, even if they don’t explicitly show it, will lead to more content about them that is open about their love (”Kisses, please.”) ❤

On that note - I haven’t read the rest of the book yet, having jumped right to the section on my girls. But I have been informed that the hetero-presenting couples do get explicit smooches, and that is extremely irritating, in the face of what we got here. We do get a forehead kiss, some decent hand-holding and a very interesting ending (more on that below), but it’s all written in a way that the homophobes/queerphobes could write them off as Gal Pals, again, if they really want to.

To be fair, though, if I clearly spent my whole  adult life with someone in a more-than-friends kind of way, after “accidentally” getting into bed with them after they “accidentally” propositioned me as a joke, and then ended my elderly years with them the way this ended....... that’s gay, folks. Hands down. 

That said, I did actually enjoy this story. It reads romantic to me from an asexual/demisexual perspective, which feels very Ivy to me, so that was kind of nice in and of itself (which doesn’t make the lack of obvious, undeniably physical-romantic evidence fair, per se, but we do live in a world that hypersexualizes everything, and this reads a bit like a Regency/Victorian romance in a sense, to me - with the tamer-than-usual standards of physical affection in public and the undeniable loyalty to each other, regardless. So yeah,  I couldn’t help but like the vibe). 

Here’s some specific moments I have some thoughts on, for the good:

So this one, and this dialogue, just struck me on a personal level because of how my Wife and I are together. She’s not very fond of people either, and my emotional breakdowns are a lot to handle, so I could see us here, and I appreciate that a lot. As always, the fact that Harley is ivy’s exception in her hatred of humanity never ever ever reads as anything other than romantic to me. There is an inherent queerness in that and I am Here For It. 

Again. “Accidentally” misunderstanding. “Accidentally” propositioning. You lived to touch *Ivy* again, Harls. That is specific language. Not to mention the fact that Harley touched Ivy enough to get a rash everywhere means that Ivy didn’t just shove her out of bed. Ahem. 

And as always, the fact that Ivy made a point to immunize Harley against her toxins is also inherently queer, even without the language choices noted above. If she didn’t intend to follow through with physical romantic affection, she wouldn’t have needed to do that, in that moment or in the future - she could have just warned Harley off and been more careful around her, herself. So obviously, if you put any thought into this fact at all, it’s clear what the intention was. 

(The problem is that many people don’t put any thought into it, so unfortunately we need more blatant evidence of their romance, over and over again, to shut the homophobes and denialists down. Which is SO FRUSTRATING, since no one ever questions if Bruce is with Selina, or if Clark is with Lois, whether they ship it or not - they admit that its there, regardless.)

Including this brief moment because even though it’s subtle, Ivy reaching for Harley in a situation where they’re both in danger is a nice touch. 

And same thing, here. They’ve obviously been through a lot in the situation they’re referencing, and Harley’s instinct as her Pam-a-Lamb makes an uneasy alliance is to hold on to her. Solidarity, support. Protective, too, with the guarded look on Harley’s face. I like it. 

Aaaaaaand now we get to the bittersweet ending - I’m including this shot because, even though deathbed-side hand holding can be done platonically too, it’s obviously not platonic here if you weigh it against what we’ve already seen. This is the love of Ivy’s life, dying in front of her, and it’s intense. You can see in in everything - her posture, her expression, the fact that she’s folded Harley’s hand into both of hers. 

But then:

Instead of getting very emotional about it, Ivy has already (and of COURSE she did!) come up with a solution. I’ve seen this referenced as them choosing to die together - but that’s not how it reads to me, at all. I see this as them choosing to live again, taking the chance at a brand new start.

Ivy doesn’t want to die here, but she doesn’t want to live, as she is, without Harley in her life. If they hadn’t done this? Ivy would have passed away too, eventually - the fact that she’s aged right alongside Harls is evidence of that. And then they’d be at the mercy of whatever afterlife may or may not be there - maybe not even reunited in death, if there’s an afterlife at all. 

So of course she leans on science, she leans on the Green, to give them both another chance.

They’re choosing life. And they’re choosing it in the face of the uncertainty of memory loss - what if they don’t feel the same, in their new forms?

But then Harley says this:

How can I not love that?  💞🍃🌱

(Also, fanart will be coming of their new forms - since we didn’t get that, what the hell DC - if/when I’m able to get to it. I’m very busy, but the idea of this new life for them is captivating.)

(In the meantime, more of my existing Harlivy work is available here, among other meta and inspiration posts.)

(And my original comic work is available here.)

Thanks for reading!

[thehuntyhunties]

can you tell us more abt your pirate au????? it sounds so fucking cool and also i want to maybe make some content inspired by it if that's cool okie bye

AAA ( ° ♢°) THANK YOU!! i need you to know that this ask absolutely made my day when you sent it and then i proceeded to never have a single free moment to answer holy moly 

First off, I have a tag collecting my posts, ideas, and inspirations, if you’re curious! .u. As for making content WOW THAT’S EXTREMELY FLATTERING, OH MAN. OH GOSH. the fact that you’re already thinking about that without knowing much about the AU is really incredible, seriously thank you so much

(although I’m wondering what kind of content you’re thinking of? I think I’m fine with fanart but I’m a little iffy about the idea of someone writing fic for an idea I haven’t even written anything concrete for yet ;v; I hope that’s okay! We can talk more about it)

Anyways! AU time! I’m gonna say up top that I still haven’t entirely worked out a plot. But the idea is that it’s set in a fantasy version of the HxH world that’s blended with our world’s golden age of sail/piracy in the west. TL;DR: Magic is a natural resource that’s everywhere the same way gravity is but actively harnessing it is fussy and difficult, fantasy creatures are everywhere too, and fate has conspired to bring Gon, Leorio, Killua, and Kurapika together on the high seas so they can inadvertently help each other with their individual quests despite the fact that most of them don’t trust each other (specifically Leorio, Killua, and Kurapika don’t trust each other and also Killua doesn’t trust Gon, Gon meanwhile is a keen judge of character and is just vibing).

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how to make the magical elements feel organic – or rather, trying to show that this AU takes place in an inherently magical world, with its own paths of development and evolutions and adaptations. There’s sirens, sea monsters, fae, druids, dryads, selkies, ghouls, sprites, merfolk, street corner spirits, household sprites, a couple of weird canon HxH creatures, dubiously-present gods... there will probably be more that I haven’t had reason to think about yet! 

The world itself has inherent magic imbued into it – the land, the plants, the humanoid and non-humanoid creatures – that is interwoven into all things, but has limited expressions and rules for how it works, just like, say, physics or geology. Some species have an innate magical affinity baked into them that others do not, but for (almost) everyone, actually working magic in a purposeful way takes lots of effort and years of training to master, and a lot of effects are pattern-based. For example, all sirens have long memories for sound, complex vocal ranges, and a talent for learning languages, which is thanks to the innate, natural magic of the species; but only trained songweavers have honed their inherent sound-based magic into the ability to make something happen by singing. 

As another example, an average human can train to craft charms, which can enable/enact/encourage all sorts of magical workings depending on how you use it. Now and then you’ll get a mage, who is really just a human who is more closely attuned to the natural magic of the world than average; sometimes they’ll have an innate affinity that lets them do unexpected things, but mostly being a mage just means you can more easily make charms and hexes that work harder and last longer. Druids are people who live at the edges of Fae woods, places where the Fae’s plane of reality pokes through into the real world and focuses or heightens the inherent magic of the area, creating (over generations) unique abilities in the human communities that act as caretakers. They’re probably the closest this fantasy world has to humans with active, workable magic baked into them from birth, because pretty much any time the Fae get involved the laws of the world get broken. The Fae are exempt from the world’s rules regarding magic and physics and reality anyways because the Fae don’t fully exist in this time and space to begin with, so I guess they get to warp reality and do almost whatever they want.

Also, just because I like to say it: sirens and humans in this AU are a kind of magic-laced convergent evolution. They’re both mammals and sure, they have a common ancestor somewhere if you go back far enough, but at this point in evolution sirens are pretty much an entirely different species of humanoids. Because it’s my fantasy setting and I get to make the rules. 

I CAN TALK ABOUT THE SETTING AND CREATURES FOR HOURS.

There are still a lot of gaps and uncertainties in the plot itself. Most of the story so far is that the main four end up coming together while on individual journeys. Kurapika was born into a druid community, but since the destruction of his clan has become a feared and mysterious pirate captain who leverages the (not altogether untrue) tales of his ferocity to get what he wants with minimal mess. Gon is a wandering siren hungry for the world, who met Kurapika before he was a captain and, as a natural storyteller, may have had a small hand in building Kurapika’s fearsome reputation. Leorio grew up in a land that had overtaxed its inherent magic and become desolate, and now he’s traveling the world using his training as a doctor to try and unravel how magical forces and beings work so he can try to save lives and – hopefully – restore his home. Killua is an assassin-turned-thief trying to stay one step ahead of his family while seeking a legendary magical treasure he believes will give him the power to rescue Alluka from the Fae realms, which she vanished into some years before.

Gon is the first one – by a long shot – to figure out that all of their goals are eventually leading the four of them to the same thing. But he keeps it to himself because it’s more fun that way. (siren!Gon is my favorite Gon to work with, because this is a Gon who can literally hear when someone lies to him but also schemes and keeps secrets and is fundamentally good but not necessarily honest, and I love that for him and find it very fun.)

They actually all come together on the ship of a middling smuggler (hi Tonpa). Leorio has agreed to serve as the ship’s doctor for a set period of time in exchange for eventually getting dropped off where he needs to go (and he HATES it here!). Killua has infiltrated the crew because he heard a rumor that Tonpa’s luck was changing and he had something BIG and MAGIC in his sights, which definitely isn’t the specific thing he’s looking for, but he’ll steal whatever it is from under the crew’s collective nose anyways and turn a good profit. Unfortunately the big lucky break is Gon, because Tonpa has decided to break into the magical materials trade that makes up the dark side of charm-craft, and Gon, being who he is, decided to let himself be captured in order to find out why this captain was lying to him about needing a guide through rough waters off a nearby coast. He discovers Kurapika already shackled in the brig, surprisingly because of what he is – a druid with valuable magic in his body and eyes that see the unseen creatures – and not who he is, which means the crew doesn’t even know two separate governments have put decent bounties on his head. 

Once they’re all on the ship the four manage to meet, Gon freaks Killua out with his people-reading and then offers to help Killua track down the fabled magic thing he’s seeking, Killua and Leorio learn that Tonpa & co have accidentally captured a sailor of the famed Scarlet Reaver, and an alliance of sorts is struck, mainly to try and get Gon back into the ocean before the charms and enchantments keeping him at bay manage to kill him. Fortunately it only takes a few more days for Kurapika’s ship to finish catching up, launch an attack, and take over the ship (plus Gon eats some people, and Killua and Leorio discover that Kurapika is the Reaver’s notorious yet mysterious CAPTAIN specifically). Adventure ensues from there!

this is definitely the sparknotes version of the idea ahahaha 😂Even without the full plot nailed down there’s a LOT going on here. I have a pretty good sense of the ending but only a handful of details for the middle. Plus I’ve thought about how Gon and Kurapika originally met, I’ve nearly settled how the Zoldycks operate in this world, i have PAGES of notes about siren physiology and culture (they have a secondary gill-based respiratory system but still rely primarily on air and they have their own language of clicks and whistles and other sounds that you can only hear underwater!), but then on the flip side I haven’t figured out things like where Canary or Ikalgo fit into the story or what exactly Killua is doing to achieve his goal T u T I’m happy to talk about it more! In fact talking about it will probably help me resolve some of those uncertain things hahaha

[kuinliekkienroihu]

I (crysuzumushi, haha) am working on answering your ask game prompts, you picked two of my very favorites, thank you! I'm gonna ask you to do Kaname too! And Byakuya.

Okay, thanks for the ask!! Sorry it took so long to answer, i wrote a novel. Also sorry for all the spelling and grammar mistakes, English isn’t my first language

Kaname:

1. Favorite thing about them

How he always seeks to act according to his sense of justice. Also he's one of the best written characters in the entire series. He's very complex, which makes him feel kinda like an actual person with understandable actions caused by his past. There are a lot more things, but i'm not good at putting things to words so yeah.

2. Least favorite thing about them

How underutilized he was as a character. I'm really glad there's more of him in cfyow, even though i've only read the first part

3. Favorite line

" I follow the path least soaked in blood. The path I walk is justice."

4. BrOTP

I have many, mostly Shuhei, Aizen, Gin and Sajin

5. OTP

-

6. NOTP

hmm, i don't like him and Aizen romantically at all, same goes for Sajin

7. Random headcanon

He has a plant garden in Las Noches in which he grows, among many other things, the ingredients for Aizen's tea, which is Kaname's secret special mix of herbs. Aizen really misses the tea Kaname made for him.

8. Unpopular opinion

He did nothing wrong, or rather, all he did was (more or less) justified

9. Song i associate with them

-

10. Favorite picture of them

This is my favorite too

Byakuya:

1. Favorite thing about them

Yes. I love every single thing about him. Even the things others would consider as flaws are perfect. I really like how calm and collected he is regardless of the situation, he's intelligent and calculating.

A very well written character with, in my opinion, the best character development. Especially his relationship with Rukia from ignoring her out of pain (since she looks almost identical to Hisana), protecting her to keep a promise, letting her be executed to keep another promise to genuinely caring about her and saving her life in many occasions, clearly regretting what he did to her and trying to compensate for his actions.

Kubo wrote his development extremely well, in the end of the series he's objectively a better person than in the beginning, but his personality didn't change much. He's still the same overly serious, stuck up asshole we know and I love him for it.

Another thing I love the most about him is the fact that he's another walking contradiction. But somehow, these contradictions make a paradox or a perfect harmony without cancelling each other. Kubo did an amazing job making him have many layers in his character. There's this line from a book (had to look it up, the book is called "the chrysanthemum and the sword") that the author used to describe Japanese people, I think I read that in someone's ig story and it got stuck in my head since it reminded me of Byakuya so much, and in my honest opinion, describes him rather thoroughly, especially second, third and fourth ones. His zanpakuto, which is one of the infinite reasons I love him, being fully portrayed by the second one "both militaristic and aesthetic" being combined into the beautiful but deadly weapon Senbonzakura is.

"both aggressive and unaggressive, both militaristic and aesthetic, both insolent and polite, rigid and adaptable, submissive and resentful of being pushed around, loyal and treacherous, brave and timid, conservative and hospitable to new ways"

When you think about it, he has the most fitting zanpakuto for his personality compared to the other shinigami and the way he uses it is one of the tiny details which make him, him.

His spot as a captain and the head of the Kuchiki clan is in my opinion fully earned (rest of the nobles (except Yoruichi) can go fuck themselves) (sorry Tara, ignore this please lol). He is hardworking and precise, almost workaholic, has trained hard from a very young age and puts duty above everything. But he still has a hidden "work mode: off" -side which we see occasionally as cracking a dry joke or the wakame taishi fuckery in general. Latter being, in my honest thoughts, hilarious and adorable.

There is a lot more but i literally can't list everything. This is already a hell of an essay.

2. Least favorite thing about them.

My answer is probably as you can expect: none.

There is one thing i don't really like, but it's about the writing.

!!TYBW SPOILERS!!

In the beginning of the arc i think that immediately releasing bankai, especially when he knew it was gonna be sealed, was out of character and i would have been very upset if he stayed dead, since the action which resulted in that was not something he would do.

3. Favorite line

“If it’s for the sake of my pride there’s nothing I won’t destroy.”

I know it’s from a filler but this line just sums his whole character, personality and motivations up so well.

4. BrOTP

I have so many, i want him to have friends lol. But to point out the most significant ones i'd say Rukia, Renji, Kenpachi, Toshiro and Ichigo

5. OTP

The only one i really ship him with is Nanao. Hisana is kind of “it’s canon and i’m fine with it.” I haven’t seen enough of her to form an opinion about the ship, but it’s obvious how much Bya loved her and it’s so sweet.

6. NOTP

Okay, i have never mentioned this before since i know many of my followers/mutuals ship them. Renji. The only ship I. Can't. Stand.

Like, platonically? Yes, they're bros. But romantically or especially sexually? No. Fuck no.

I don't care if you ship them, good for you, but please tag the stuff so it gets filtered.

7. Random headcanon

He sleeptalks a lot. And it's not mumbling, he talks the same way as when he's awake but it's absolute nonsense.

Byakuya, asleep: Do not eat the drawer.

Hisana, awake: *watches him in utter confusion*

Byakuya, still asleep: Give him a pink tricycle.

Hisana: To whom?

Byakuya: Head captain Yamamoto

Hisana: *trying not to laugh*

Another hc that i have is that he is a closet metalhead and likes especially power- and symphonic metal (this might sound very weird if you know nothing about this kind of music lol)

8. Unpopular opinion

His actions in the soul society arc were understandable. He was put between the bark and the tree (i hope you get what i mean) and had to choose from just letting things happen and going against central 46 and all of soul society (or at least that’s what he thought). Also the line he said to Ukitake, which is still easily in top5 most asshole things he has said/done, in my opinion shows what he thought of Rukia’s execution and why he didn’t do anything to prevent it. “Once you’ve let one of your people die.. ...two or three more make no difference.” Both of his parents are dead, Hisana is dead, Ginrei is most likely dead and he thought for 100 years that Yoruichi was dead too. I think Byakuya thought losing one more person he cares about couldn’t hurt more than it already has and therefore didn’t think it was worth breaking the promise he made in his parents’ grave and trying to save her. And that fucking breaks my heart.

9. Song I associate with them

I have a 6h long playlist which I’m not gonna post. Can’t choose just one lol.

10. Favorite picture of them

*digs through nearly infinite pinterest board, tumblr and phone’s gallery*

This is (one of) my favorite manga panel(s) of him. I love how calm but powerful he looks. The lines representing the heavy spiritual pressure. Like an inescapable doom approaching (which indeed was the case). And for some reason i love it. 

My favorite fanart, which i obviously can’t post since you can’t post others art so here’s the link: https://www.deviantart.com/keelerleah/art/Bleach-Byakuya-Looking-Back-127254804

and then one which I think is official art or at least an edit of it, if I’m wrong please lmk

[star-gamerxox]

I is 18 now

Also happy anniversary @fallingraeofsun

Now enjoy this writing I did

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The character you’ll see that is new to you, is my way older oc. Indie Vira, or Indigo Vira/Virus is an older oc of mine. Cause I have no memory of exactly when I first made Indigo, I’ve always sorta put her birthday around my own.

Indie doesn’t fit in the second canon timeline. She doesn’t usually exist but I wanted to add her for the birthday special.

Her spouse isn’t in this as I don’t own him and I don’t know how the creator would feel about me including their ship kid in this specific story but anyone else I created is here.

(Indie is a horrortale frans kid. She was made years ago but I can’t bear to change her past so I take no rude judgement. As a baby her mom hid her and Error found her.)

I also made EveFalcity 17 for continuities sake.

“Are you sure she’ll be okay with it?” EveFalcity asked and Zenai nodded as he helped her pack the van. Error was currently helping get car snacks and Ink was trying to get Viri, still 2, to settle down enough for the car ride.

“I mean, I’d sure hope so. She’s technically your big sister.” Zenai hummed and Eve laughed.

“Sure she is. She has never been in my life before.” EveFalcity whispered coldly as she finished packing.

“Are you sure your parents don’t wanna come?” Error asked, making both teens jump.

“Yea. Dad and Fell don’t really wanna drive all the way out there to see her.” Zenai explained and Error sighed.

“Once upon a time, Blue adored her…” he looked down. EveFalcity watched him quietly, putting a hand on her papa’s shoulder.

“I feel as if it’s my fault… she had to leave for her safety… she was six last time she lived with us, and Eve was a baby…” he gulped a bit.

“Well she asked you to come. She obviously still wants you in her life. You visited her at least once a year and she’s a mother now… she probably better understands why you had to do what you did.” EveFalcity whispered and Error sighed.

“Yea… you’re right.” He sighed softly.

“Hey! If we don’t leave soon, we won’t make it there in time to be there for lunch tomorrow.” Ink called as he came out with the triplets, Viri, and Syntax.

“Sounds good!” Error started to smile again. Ink grinned as he buckled Viri up into her car seat. Error went to the driver's seat and started the van. It was a nine seater so they were lucky there were exactly nine people on the trip.

“You know, if you have any more kids, or allow your kids to bring more friends, you’ll need a minibus instead of a van.” Zenai called and Error rolled his eyes.

“Is everyone sitting down and buckled up?” Error called as he started up the car. Once he got the okay, he started out of the driveway towards Indigo’s house.

Indie looked out the window while her older biological brother, Blade, picked up her son from school.

“Things are gonna be different now… don’t worry momma,” she whispered, holding her locket close. Her mother and Blade had found her when she was in high school and her mom died before her son was born.

“I reached out to papa and asked him to come here… I might in fact take Roman with me and go home… Blades been wonderful but with my husbands… well, he left me with Roman and a soon to be second baby.” She said although finished speaking to her mother’s picture when Blade came home with Roman who was five.

“Mommy!” Roman squealed and Indigo turned to pick him up.

The next morning, around 11, Error arrived and Indigo couldn’t help but run out to hug her dad.

“Happy 24th birthday sweetheart.” Error whispered as he held her close. She closed her eyes and clung to him, smiling. If there was one thing she learned as she grew up, she had to seize the time she had.

Please continue to read the note as its part of the birthday special

Note from the author:

Hello everyone. I’m sorry if this story doesn’t make much sense, it’s not exactly supposed to. It’s only really written to make me smile.

In my 18 years of life, the biggest thing I’ve learned is that time passes so fast. A big example of this is the fact I had planned to do a big art piece and a better writing but now it’s the 9th and I haven’t yet even finished this writing. I hadn’t even started it.

I care so much about everyone who follows me and I want you all to know that. People like you make me wanna keep writing.

For a while I didn’t think I’d make it to 16. My step mom had hurt me but never physically. She made me doubt everything I was and I felt like giving up.

But here I am, turning 18.

She convinced me no one would truly love me but here I am, reaching two years with my girlfriend.

She told me my fanfiction and fanart would mean nothing but it gave me this group of people that care about my work and about me. It gave me more friends from places I didn’t think I could have friends from. I have friends all over the world and I’ve created so much more than I thought I could ever do.

I’m 18 but in many ways, my heart will always be of a child, full of ideas and love and everything I was when I was little.

When I was 6, my school did awards (my first elementary school did this every year) and I got a principals award. I got the principals award for best story teller. That was just the first step.

As a kid I never simply played. Every game I played, with other kids or with toys, I created a story. Some of them were the kinda stories no one would expect a kid to come up with but I created them. A woman who betrayed everyone and took their shoes to drain their life force. A pair of best friend who were trapped in a world and without the other, they could die. That kinda stuff.

And I would have lost so much of my creativity but I’ve always had people pushing me to continue.

So for anyone out there of any age, don’t give up. It’ll be okay. If you ever need someone to give you that motivation, I’ll be there as fast as I can.

Thank you so much for supporting me and I hope you continue to as I grow.

[minyoongisjiminie]

너는 나 나는 너 (neoneun na naneun neo)

ship: jikook, idol!jungkook x broke literature student!jimin

genre: fluff and angst, kind of slowburn

rating: pg-13

disclaimer: language and alcohol 

plot: jimin and jungkook were childhood friends and with jungkook training to become an idol, they both lost contact. jungkook however did never forget what Jimin once promised him: “If your pinky is bigger than mine, then I give you the allowance to marry me.” 

inspo: a beautiful fanart that i saw on insta some time ago. it made me brainstorm for a good amount of time :)

a/n: please be nice to me :’) I haven’t written stuff in such a long time and I’m so out of it…so pretty please cut me some slack :) constructive criticism is always allowed tho.

a big thank you to the closest mutual i have: @sugaforyou​ for beta reading and just being a helpful hand! i’m sure I was a mess… :’) I’m sorry for that and I love you! 

word count: 12,8k 

-

Jimin despised waking up early every day and then continuing to trot to the bus station. Did it even matter in the first place? School made him even more unmotivated than he already was in this part of life. In fact, there were no interesting and helpful topics he learned there and, furthermore, he thought that attending school was more something he fulfilled for his parents. They were always so proud of him when he brought home a good grade. So proud, that he always concealed how depressed school actually made him.  Going to school for so many hours to then attending the tuition classes and as if that weren’t enough also continuing studying at home, was that place that essential though? It just made him already completely weary when he wakes up on a Saturday. The only passion and hobby that he possessed was taking dance lessons, but even for those he rarely had time. He wanted to continue to attend them, but he was too overwhelmed with school that he was absolutely tired. On top of that, none of his friends actually tried to offer him a shoulder to cry or were even there to cheer him up. 

They did not realise how it was to live up each day to the expectations of others, how it was to live for others, just how it was to be so damn dependent on someone. Of course, he wasn’t the only one that had parents that were expecting so much. However, the friends that he established were all free spirits and some of their parents were even condoning that.

Oh, how he envied them. 

Why was he even so dependent on the hugs from his parents when he brought home an A, or just a simple “I’m proud of you” or “i love you”. It made him do things that he wouldn’t normally do. He was not expecting that just from his parents, but also from his friends. If he got these compliments and showers of love, he felt like it was okay to suffer. Maybe that was the reason why he was so lonely. He put himself into the moulds that people in his environment created for him. It ended up swallowing him up.

Nowadays, those he once called friends were ignoring him as much as they could, and his family didn’t really care about him. As long as he received  good grades and didn’t protest, they were fine with him. To be honest now without any distractions whatsoever he could completely concentrate on school, with his friends having stopped calling him on Friday nights to ask if he would come hang out with him on the weekend/following day.

They already knew he would find a pathetic excuse why he couldn’t attend. He was on his own.

Just as if someone like Kookie didn’t exist…

Kookie, or by his full name Jeon Jungkook, was his younger neighbour.

He was a few years younger than him and every time when Jimin was miserably trotting to school, the little one would always sprint his way up to him. Like Jimin’s puppy “Doraemon” trying to play with the little kids by running after them. Now after realising that, Jimin couldn’t stop thinking that they sort of looked similar to each other. That made him forget his sorrow for a little while, and he couldn’t stop smiling.

When Jimin was younger he always thought that Jungkook behaved that way because he looked up to him. Considering he was a few years older than him. Maybe he needed an older brother figure? Nowadays however Kookie comes to check if his pinkie grew out to be taller than the one of the older one. This cannot happen overnight of course, but Jungkook didn’t quite seem to understand how the mystery of time and patience worked.

“Hyung, just look! If my finger outgrows yours..! Then you need to marry me. You promised me!”

Jimin smiled gently. He actually stated that a few months back, because Jungkook wouldn’t stop bragging around that he was marrying Jimin soon. At first he thought it was cute, but after a while it started to get on Jimin’s nerves because he wouldn’t stop. So, the only option he had was to tell him they were still too young, and Jimin liked boys bigger than him.

To the surprise of the little one of course. He was absolutely bamboozled, his doe-like eyes grew even bigger in that moment, and he asked if he really needed to become taller than him, in order for him to take the older one’s hand in marriage. Jimin quickly grabbed the younger one by his hand and softly stated: “It’s enough if your little pinkie is bigger than hyung’s. And that needs some time, doesn’t it?” Kookie nodded shyly, examining the black and white converse chucks that the older one was wearing.

Looking back to it, he always ended up snickering a bit. The boy was truly a gift to the neighbourhood, everyone in the area loved him. Even though he was already growing up to become an adolescent, for all the neighbours he was still the little cute and gifted maknae, Kookie. A lot of his classmates that came to visit him were all trying too hard to look cool, which was normal for that age, but Kookie was still acting like a little adorable brat.

But dare you to recognize him and adore him back, face to face, then he turned into a big whiny mess.

Jungkook was indeed a once in a lifetime…

Jimin didn’t even know why Jungkook was so hellbent on “marrying” him. They were so young  and Jungkook so tiny. You wouldn’t tell he was twelve.

However, Jimin couldn’t stop feeling a bit flattered by the compliments and promises the little one gifted him. Even though it was “just his younger neighbour kid”.

“I firmly promise.” He hooked Kook’s little finger with his own, pulled his thumb onto his and made them touch. “You can trust your hyungie right?” Kook was already shyly staring at the pavement. Oh wow, now HE was the one that needed to be intimidated? “Of course, hyung.”

Jimin couldn’t contain himself, he chuckled. Jungkook was just such a… cutie pie.

To be honest, Jungkook isn’t 10 years or even 5 years younger than Jimin. The age gap consists of 2 years. That was completely alright. However, the height difference couldn’t be overlooked. Jungkook could reach Jimin’s chest at the moment, and the older one was sure that he would grow. However, the reason why Jimin was keeping his distance with his dongsaeng, was surely not the height difference. But rather that he would not stay right by his side. He wouldn’t continue to chase him down before school, ask for his pinkie in a cutely manner, or even give him the puppy eyes, to bribe him, so he could buy him his candies and banana milk. He would disappear in thin air. Just like his friends once did.

And that was bothering Jimin more than he would admit.

“You need to promise me that you’ll always give your best. Fate always brings those together that deeply care for each other. Okay?”

Jimin grabbed Jungkook by his shoulders, a bit tougher than he actually wanted, and he had a weird feeling in his guts telling him he wouldn’t see him again. He was indeed sure in his bones of the fact Jungkook would find someone better to look up to and adore.

In the end, Jimin was a loser, who wasn’t brave enough to run after his own dreams. And that sucked. Of course, it did. Jungkook shouldn’t stay here, though. Nothing should hold him here. Not even his first childhood romance.

If you could even call it like that..

“I’ll do that.. But if you forget me…!”

Jimin noticed the tears building up in Kookie’s big doe eyes, and he couldn’t contain his own sadness. It was so odd to see him in such a condition. He thought he would make some stupid jokes and then just say bye. Now looking at him like this, was concerning him.

“Hey… Oh Kook-ah!” He gently pushed Jungkook’s back into his arms, to embrace him into a hug. With one hand, the older one was caressing his little head while the other one his back.

“Hyung, will always be there with you. You cannot see me, but I’ll be right there by your side, alright?”

“I will miss you so much hyung.” the younger one replied with a trembling voice.

“You need to return quickly. You need to know if this one,” He showed his little pale pinkie. “Of yours, grew up to become bigger than mine, huh?” Jungkook’s lips finally formed a little smile, even though his eyes were still watery and red. “I promise. But when I come back you need to promise to marry me. Don’t you dare forget.”

Even though he wouldn’t admit it now, Jimin’s eyes back then were also filling up with tears. He caressed Jungkook’s head once more before moving away from the little one and facing him.

“This is a promise.”

Yet again they gave each other their little promise gesture. And then Jungkook was gone. Vanished, you could say without even leaving a trace. He did not forget a single thing. All his toys and plushies he loved, he kept. That was a bummer. Jimin hoped to have something from him to always keep him in his memories.

The first few years, Jimin welcomed home some letters. Or messages on his phone. After some time, however, even those stopped.

~ a few years later ~

“Jimin, you owe me more than one soju bottle for doing this…?”

Yoongi massaged his own lower back, after carrying a few boxes up to Jimin’s new place. He was not born to help him out, along with it, he also wasn’t born to carry heavy boxes like that. Why did Jimin even ask Yoongi from all the people he knows to help him out? He isn’t helpful in any way. 

“Dude you brought up 2 boxes. You shouldn’t even get half of a soju bottle.” the younger one replied while lying down on the cold wooden plank. He was exhausted and didn’t even know why he was still going to college. He fucked up his first semester because he chose to listen to his parents and studied hotel management. Hotel management? From all the subjects the world has to offer, he chose fucking hotel management? Thankfully, he found his better half in the same classes and funny thing is he also seemed out of place.

His parents were not so happy to hear that. But in the end they accepted his choice and let him study whatever he wants. As long as he still went to college they didn’t care anymore.

In a way he was happy, but he was also fucking tired and disappointed in himself. Why did he even listen to his parent’s advice in the first place?

“I’m your sunbae, and the most important thing is that I’m your hyung. So, don’t be such a disrespectful piece of trash and be thankful that I was there to help you out.”

Yoongi scoffed back while he poked Jimin’s chest with his pale finger.

The younger one rolled his eyes and made some space for Yoongi to lay next to him on the floor. Even though there was a cheap sofa just a few meters away from them, on this hot summer day the best and also free thing was to just lay down on the floor. Jimin wasn’t rich in any way, so therefore he couldn’t afford an AC.

“Taehyung was too busy with his girlfriend. Hoseok hyung was too busy with his college work and the others were out partying.”

Yoongi shrugged his shoulders and took a sip from his lukewarm beer that Jimin bought him on their way to get here. He wasn’t necessarily into partying, especially not when it was that hot outside. Jimin was also the only one he was cool with, hanging out with him didn’t get on his nerves. That was a plus. And as long as he got his soju, he gives zero fucks.

“I’m the best hyung you have. Just sayin’.” He stood up pretty quickly from the cold wooden floor and offered his hand to the now blonde-haired boy. “Soju time.” Yoongi stick out his tongue and squeezed his eyes. Jimin couldn’t prevent himself from laughing. This hyung got some fairly good aegyo talent if alcohol was in play.

*

“Cheers!”

It was pretty late now. Jimin was starting to get tired and was unsure if he could pay for all the soju bottles they were destroying. “Hyung, how about you slow down a bit? I don’t think I can pay up for all of this.” Jimin was starting to count the tteokbokki and the soju bottles that they already devoured. 1, 2, 3, 4… no. It was impossible. He already was broke. He was happy that he could pay for even one bottle.

“Don’t worry too much. I knew you would say that. I asked for one bottle so just pay up for one if you want to.”

Jimin looked at him suspiciously, uncertain in what he was up to. Soon after he just gave up and stopped assuming that his older friend expected something from him in return. He was too drunk in the first place, thinking shouldn’t be an option.

“Come on, let’s get home. You look so drunk.”

“Am. Not?”

Jimin has always gotten pretty sassy and showed his big temper when he was drunk. It made Yoongi laugh, so he just played along.

“Okay, little one. Let’s go. Tomorrow is Uni-Day.”

Jimin tried. Standing up was hard, he felt like his eyes were coated with tiny little clouds. And his head was starting to ache really bad. “Hyung, please. Help me…” He pouted while searching for his hyung with his hands.

Little did Jimin know, Yoongi was actually paying for the food and the alcohol, snickering as he glanced at the helpless little blonde boy. It was always a different kind of entertainment to watch Jimin being drunk. And he adored that.

“Come on!”

Yoongi dragged Jimin out of the bar and linked his arms with his. Just to be careful. He could never be sure if he’s up to something. Drunk people are like kids. You can’t read their thoughts, and suddenly they’re crying because they’re doing something stupid.

“Hmm, which Bus should we take..?”

While Yoongi was looking through his phone, Jimin started observing his surroundings. It was pretty dark and refreshing to stand outside after drinking so much, with the weather tingling him. And he realised how happy he was that he didn’t barf tonight. It was an improvement for him.

The night still was young, one could never know.

While Jimin looked at all the posters glued on the windows and doors of the neighbour’s bars and restaurants, there was a specific one whom caught his attention.The boy on the poster looked so familiar…

Oh no. The boy on the poster… Is none other than…

That was damn Jeon Jungkook!

Jimin felt the puke climbing its way up to his throat, and he was so not welcoming it.

“Hyung… I think.. I need to..”

There we go.

“FUCK.”

*

After last night’s encounter with poster Jungkook, Jimin had such a bad mood that nothing on this planet could have cheered him up. And that fucking sucked.

His friends tried their best, but as they realised that even Mr. Kim’s class was not cheering him up a bit, they became worried.

“Jimin, you want some boba? I could buy some boba!”

Hoseok was really good at cheering up. He was such a funny spirit and always used his best words. But not even Hoseokie hyung’s jokes and cuddles or boba could cheer him up. If the older one could mix some magical powder in his boba, so he would forget all the heart-breaking memories he had with Jungkook… Then he would sure as hell take it.

“No, I gotta head to work. I’ll just drink coffee there.”

He grabbed his bag and trotted his way to the cafe where he worked part-time. Why was he even miserable in the first place? Jungkook was just a little boy back then –12 years old to be exact– thinking he was in love with him. That was it. How could a child know what real love was? Besides, why should Jimin care in the first place, when he already knew it was just a kindergarten love?

His headache was still not gone, and he was sure it did not entirely just come from alcohol…

“Hello, Noona.”

Jimin bowed towards his boss and grabbed his apron. Working in the cafe wasn’t even bad. He loved it to a certain amount. It was relaxing and soothing to create drinks and serve cakes and macarons. But he doubted that work today will help him overcome his past love.

“What’s wrong? Did you fail a test or something?”

Yoona washed her hands and prepared everything for Jimin to take over. She was two years older than him, and he was thankful for that. Jimin had no clue how to interact with people that were either way older than him or way younger than him.

“Nah, it’s just my brain.” He raised his index finger, pointed at his brain and took a deep sigh. “Overthinking.”

His older friend smiled lightly and tapped on his shoulder. “I don’t know what the problem is. But you will eventually overcome it. I promise.”

He nods, starting to cut some fruits to prepare some boba tea. It helped him to ignore Jungkook who was desperately trying to contact him in his head. Repeatedly knocking on his brain and crying out his name like a mantra: “Jiminie hyung!”

If that wasn’t bad enough.. Yoona forgot to tell him that there was a fancafe event today.

For Jungkook himself.

Jimin felt how his heart started to burst. Why was he so dependent on him? He didn’t see him for years and now suddenly after so many years he was following him around?

“Uhm, sir?”

A young girl, who was definitely still a high schooler, stood in front of the cash register and looked him straight in the eyes.

“We got permission from the Lady who was working here before. Just.. to be clear.”

He nodded, tried to smile, and gave her the permission again. Complimenting how beautiful the cafe looked and that they were doing a good job.

What should he even do? Be mad at the girl for being a fan? No. It wasn’t her fault.

“If you need help or anything. Say so.” He quickly continued and made his way to his best friend Taehyung, who was already sitting at his table.

“The usual?”

Tae nodded while glancing around at the cafe now full of Jungkook’s face. The tables were plastered with cups and cupcakes with Jungkook’s pictures, his name and birthdate. Of course, it was Jungkook’s birthday today. He completely forgot…

“Can I get my latte with this cup?” Taehyung tried to imitate Jungkook’s expression on the cup and gave the expression a little silly twist. Thankfully, the girls were busy putting posters on the wall, that they didn’t acknowledge him at all. The last thing he wanted, was a mob full of teenage girls getting at his nerves for disrespecting their “oppa”.

“Don’t ruin the fun for the fans. If that’s the way they want to show their love, they should.”

Taehyung looked up to him, confused. Since when was Jimin so nonchalant about events like that? He was literally the first one to complain about these girls or even boys who came to decorate the cafe with the handsome faces of the idols. The blonde-haired boy even went that far to call them “the slaves of the rich”.

“Anyway..” He stood up and followed Jimin to his working area. Taehyung would always order the same thing. A latte, a turkey sandwich, and a piece of the famous walnut cake. Jimin sometimes wondered if he wasn’t bored with picking the same order over and over again. But what did he care? As long as he was near him and could watch over him being an emotional mess and maybe even interfere if he were doing too much nonsense, he didn’t care at all.

“Did you see these girls? They are putting the posters up there like their lives are depending on it, it’s just a goddamn birthday of some self-centred sexy looking boy.”

Taehyung took a big sip of his latte and gave a disgusted expression.

Oh boy if you knew..

“Ah, by the way, I actually got to know the ‘self-centred-sexy looking boy’.

His best friend choked on the latte and stared at him, completely bewildered, and gave him a look. “No way..?!” Jimin shrugged his shoulders and put his food on the glass table in front of him. “Not a big deal, we were good friends back in Busan.” He casually responded as if it were the most normal thing that could happen to someone.

“And when did you think it was appropriate to tell me ?” Taehyung took a bite of his sandwich and skilfully avoided any eye contact with the smaller one. Jimin did not even need to look at him to know that he was probably pouting while eating to give him a guilty conscience.

Why should he feel guilty though? Everything happened way back in the past. Sometimes it’s better to let the past go. And the same rule was also directed to Kookie.

“You have something to say to me?” Jimin responded after a while. Shouldn’t it be Jimin’s choice to choose when to talk about specific things? Why is everyone always coming at him when he hid something from them? Doesn’t he have the right for privacy?

“Nah nothing. I was just wondering how you’ve gotten to know him. He’s pretty popular nowadays.”

“We were childhood friends.”

Taehyung raised his eyebrows and his eyes widened. He didn’t expect that Jimin was friends with the upcoming next ‘Taeyang’. Funny how one always discovers something new about their best friends.

“And you’re still in contact?” Taehyung suddenly started to welcome the idea of his best friend knowing a famous idol, that could open so many doors for them. Dreamily, he put a fork full of cake in his mouth. Just thinking that people would try to be friends with them and act like they are celebrities themselves made him cheerful. According to Taehyung, they weren’t exactly losers or anything, but they weren’t associated with the cool kids either. Jungkook could open so many doors for him.. and Jimin of course!

“Nah. He stopped writing me back.”

It was actually Jimin that stopped. But the questions on “why” and “how” would be too annoying for him, so he realised lying wouldn’t be that bad.

“Aw shit that sucks.”

After Jimin’s confession, they both stopped talking for a while. Taehyung confessed that he still had some schoolwork overdue and that he would concentrate on that, and Jimin stated that he was still in preparation for today’s work. However, both were still in eyesight to each other. Here and there they shared some moments, but overall, they did their own thing.

That was refreshing to Jimin.

Maybe he was selfish for being so demanding and wanting Taehyung to be near him. And also wanting him to be silent and letting him do his work, without interruption. Yet, at moments like these, he realised how much he actually respected their friendship and also how they’re both complete opposites from each other.

Taehyung was a pretty outgoing, friendly, and charming guy. Girls loved him and were undressing him with their stares when he was walking around campus, and guys wanted to be his friend, sending him invitations to notorious parties. In addition, he was also humble and disagreed with the fact that he was in any way “popular”. He was that clueless that he would make plans on how to get into parties that were from popular seniors but hasn’t realised that he indeed was literally the most treasured and desired boy in the whole campus. The majority of seniors weren’t interested in him, however they knew him. To the point that he would receive cute messages from pretty noonas.

Okay, maybe the seniors were indeed interested in him, but they had a big ego, and wouldn’t give him invitations, nevertheless.

A typical case of not knowing what is in front of your nose but wanting something that you’ll never get.

Jimin however… He was a hopeless loser.

Girls didn’t give a single shit about him, guys were ignoring him and would only greet him when Taehyung or his senior friends were next to him. He wasn’t interesting and he realised that fact one too many times. The only thing he was good for was when his colleagues wanted to get close to his friends through him. And that was nice for both sides. Jimin’s friends knew whom to ignore from now on, and the girls and guys who were trying had the hope to get closer to them.

What a shitshow.

The only great thing about college nowadays was that he actually had some real friends he could count on.

Thinking about the way his friends knew little of Jungkook made him feel glum. They pretty much knew a great deal about him, he told them everything. His relationship with his younger brother, his parents, his assholes of friends back then. But he always let Jungkook out. Even though he played such a big part in his life once.

And still does.

Yearningly he looked back to Taehyung, who had his earplugs in and typed something in his MacBook. He wanted to tell him how much he actually missed Jungkook. How much he loved him back then, and how sorry he was that he stopped replying.

The guilt in his intestines was driving him wild.

Maybe that was the problem. He was running away from the responsibility over their relationship. Why was he even scared? He had no clue.

Why did he stop replying? He knew how shy and insecure Jungkook was back then. He even wrote to him once, that he felt like crying whenever his fellow trainee-hyungs were interrogating him about his interests. And that he would look himself up just to take a long deep breath. After all the confessions the younger one made, Jimin just stopped replying? He was disgusted. And disappointed in himself.

Perhaps that was the reason why he was so remorseful and so careful to bring him up.

This was the first time he had friends. And he didn’t want them to leave him too.

On the other side, he felt guilty. Wanting to know if what he did was really that bad, or that maybe in any way, his friends would understand and forgive him.

“Taehyung-ah?”

Jimin raised his voice slightly. Not wanting to gain attention from Jungkook’s fans. He assumed the girls were nearly done with their work. They decorated the cafe in pastel colours and all the posters were already hanging on the wall. Apparently the only thing they still were working on was the TV, trying to connect it with their phones, possibly to put on some music videos.

“Tae?”

He raised his voice one more time. Again, not getting an answer.

“Now or Never” he thought.

Taehyung was his best friend, the only same aged friend he had to be exact. Why couldn’t he just be a hundred percent honest with him?

The blonde-haired boy walked towards the little table that was plastered full of Taehyung’s books, a notebook and his MacBook. He hoped for Taehyung to understand him and maybe even help him out to forget Jungkook. After so many years the younger one would’ve forgotten about him anyway…

“Something’s wrong?” Taehyung saw Jimin’s agonized expression and it worried him. He surveyed the restaurant. No one. The guests were perhaps put off by the girls that discussed vocally about the pictures that should be taken and didn’t even dare to enter the little cafe. Due to the minority of guests, he grabbed Jimin’s wrist and made him sit next to him.

“Finally! Will you tell me what’s been bothering you for so long?" 

It sounded like he impatiently spitted these words out, but Taehyung was just worried. And maybe even a bit annoyed. Jimin wouldn’t keep things from him for so long. Most of the time he would write him a message, and Taehyung helped him out by cheering him up. Of course, there were also times where that wasn’t enough. Then, he would come pick his friend up without him realising, drag him to the closest "McDonalds” and have a late snack together. That’s just how things worked out between them. 

Now seeing that his best friend was hiding something from him, and that it was overall bothering him to the point that he was spreading this bad mood around… Was especially concerning to him. 

How could Jimin even decline Hobi hyung’s offer to boba?! 

“There is so much that I didn’t tell you. And I feel fucking guilty. Seriously…”

Jimin’s voice started to break, and he needed to fight against his tears. He was so frightened that his friend would end this friendship, when he found out that he let the 13-year-old Jungkook back then, down. Mostly, because Jimin was kind of the caretaker of their little friend group. That also applied to Taehyung’s girlfriend who also was a pretty close friend to Jimin. If they find out about Jungkook maybe they’ll stop trusting him altogether.

“Bro.. that’s okay. Tell me. You make me all scared right now.” Taehyung grabbed Jimin’s cold hand and put his own two hands on it. “Does it have something to do with that Jungkook guy?” Jimin gulped. He needed to be completely honest with him about this. About his feelings and in general, about the relationship he shared with his once younger friend. 

“Yeah, actually it does.” Jimin responded, while still staring at their hands. It helped him a lot to feel Taehyung’s hands on his own. He once noticed how much tanner he was than him. And he remembered once again how different they are from each other. Even when it came to things like outer appearance. 

So then, after recollecting his thoughts, he spilled everything out. How they both shared this deep-rooted relationship, and how both shared the mutual trust and love in each other. He revealed every single point, and how Jungkook made him feel. Even though, back then, he was younger and smaller than him. Kookie was the only one that understood him and stood by his side. 

Jimin was sharing all these intimate moments that he had with his dongsaeng, while he didn’t recognize how Taehyung was smiling widely about the way he mentioned cute little habits that Jungkook possessed and even the grimaces he once did to cheer him up. Talking about these habits eventually helped Jimin to overcome his tension about this topic. 

“I told you that he stopped replying, remember?" 

Taehyung still extremely interested and who seemingly forgot that he had schoolwork to do, nodded while rubbing his thumb on Jimin’s outer hand. 

"Well, that’s not the entire truth… I was the one who stopped replying to him." 

His friend was in point of fact a bit surprised, but he wasn’t angry or disappointed. More rather he wondered why Jimin did that to be exact. 

"It’s just so complicated. He was writing to me about his hardships and I had this weird feeling that I couldn’t help him out. I also missed him so much and every time I would start a new letter my hands always mindlessly wrote the words "just come back home Jungkook-ah, hyung misses you”. Even though it was selfish of me. Then I–”

He finally gained the courage to look his friends in the eye. “I just stopped replying whatsoever.“ 

Now, it was over. He said everything completely honest and every single word that was spoken came out of his heart. The desperate wish that Taehyung would understand was still booming in his head.  

"Jimin-ah… That’s okay." 

Was everything that came out from his better half. And even that seemed enough for a second. 

*

It was now time to head home. Taehyung insisted on bringing him and on the way they could order some food. The black-haired boy knew that Jimin wouldn’t eat anything if something was bothering him, and he always remembered how his mom constantly told him that eating some delicious food was always a good way to forget about all the small melancholic things in life. Even if it was just a few hours.

"Let’s order some chicken with some beer. That’s perfect for this ugly weather." 

Even though it was blazing hot yesterday, today it was heavily raining. Without Taehyung’s umbrella they sure as hell would have a problem. 

After their conversation, Taehyung wanted to actually strangle Jimin for even thinking he would end this friendship just because of some idol boy. He made some jokes to cheer him up, and told him numerous times that it was alright. There was a solid reason why he didn’t write back, and if there was ever going to be a moment where Jungkook and Jimin eventually meet, from the way Jimin was describing him, Jungkook would understand.

"I just want to let this go, you know. But I don’t know if screaming out of my lungs or breaking stuff will help me.” Jimin stated sadly, while nibbling on his fried chicken. He actually was hungry, but eating was exhausting to him. 

All he had in his mind was Jungkook.

In one picture, little Jungkook who was crying and repeatedly asking why he abandoned him, and in a different picture there was Jungkook, all grown up, ignoring him on purpose and burning all the letters that he ever sent to him. 

“This might be a super stupid idea… But how about you write him a letter, telling him in all details what happened ? Like, why you stopped writing back and stuff." 

In all honesty, that sounded like a good idea to the blond. He can imagine how just writing down the words "I’m sorry” will clear up his guilty conscience. There was also no possible way that Jungkook would read it, either way. He was such a popular idol nowadays, he definitely received tons of letters every day. 

“No, I actually think that may help me…" 

Taehyung gifted his best friend a boxy smile while he put some fried chicken on his own plate. He always had a strong appetite. Looking at his friend eat so happily made Jimin full in a second. 

"When you finish writing, send me your letter if you want.”

Jimin looked at him like a scared puppy. How could he possibly show him this side of himself? All sensitive and vulnerable? 

He would rather stab himself. 

“No, that’s fine. I’ll just write what comes to mind and send it." 

Taehyung gave him a thumbs up with a pout. A cute habit he had while eating. Jimin smiled brightly and gave him one of his fried chicken that was sitting on his plate for some time. Eating wouldn’t calm down his stomach, which was now full of little butterflies. 

*

03:00 am.

Jimin was laying on the wooden floor. Slightly banging his head repeatedly against the tile, hoping something good will pop up in his brain.

As soon as Taehyung left, Jimin mindlessly, started to walk around his little apartment. Wishing with every step, for something good to pop out of his head, maybe some artistic poetic words? A simple sorry wouldn’t be enough, that’s all he knew.

Just like that, time passed. 

Jimin didn’t know what to say. He was too inflicted with himself and thought that no matter what he wrote, he could never be forgiven. Right there at this moment he wondered what Jungkook did right now. It was definitely ridiculously hard to be an idol, especially nowadays where K-Pop started to go viral around the globe. 

When he was younger, he always imagined while writing letters to his younger friend, what Jungkook was doing right at that moment. Back then it felt like the letter was even more sincere. 

So, what did he think Jungkook was doing right now?

He imagined him playing around with his guitar or game till sunrise. Jungkook was always a night owl, staying up pretty late and coping with the fact that he rarely slept. Even though he would feel how his eyelids start to fall on their own, he would still stubbornly, force himself to stay awake. That was something they both had in common. 

The older one remembered the times where he would sit in front of his house trying desperately to finish off his homework, while the younger one would walk up to him all ninja style and annoy him with questions. All of it happening at midnight of course. 

The desperate wish of Jimin was that Jungkook was still like, well.. Jungkook. 

Humble, adorable, funny, dorky.

As he thought of his past love, he immediately grabbed his pen and wrote down a sincere letter. Being honest with him, telling him how his life went these couple of years,  finishing off with a confession, that the younger once always wanted to hear him say:

"I once wholeheartedly loved you, and I still do." 

*

"Aw damn.." 

Hoseok stared at him like the emoji with the big eyes, that was perfectly matching to him. Jimin finally had the guts to confess to his other friends what actually really happened, and surprisingly they were all super nice about it. 

Deep down, he knew they would understand. However, it still made him happy to see that they were so invested in his little complicated love story. 

"You could literally make a whole movie about this…?” Jin stated while looking afar and making a weird gesture, implying a camera. “It would be like "The Notebook” just reversed.“ 

"I don’t really want to see this in movie theatres though, that would just be weird." 

Namjoon always acted a bit awkward when it came to romantic stories or even love stories in general. He would always listen to their stories about their hook-ups or their genuine crushes, but he never gave a weird noise off himself, like a high-pitched “aww” or something, that he thought something was cut. Just simply listened, maybe gave some advice, and then he would go on correcting Jin on his bullshit. 

Classic Namjoon’s.

"I don’t even think he will write back or something… I wrote him, yeah that’s true.. But I don’t expect a reply." 

All his friends at the table stared him down. Ready to kick his small little ass. 

"Jimin you stupid fucking moron.” He glared at the pale boy who was finally eager to state his own opinion on this. 

Min Yoongi in his whole presence. 

Just a few minutes ago, he was all uninterested, poking in his salad and asking random people for advice on a history exam he had in a few hours. Likewise, Jimin also tried not to give two shits about his advice whatsoever. So why did he suddenly catch interest in it? 

“If you really think he wouldn’t reply, then that makes you again the weaker person." 

Trying not to look too engrossed, he gave his leftover fries to Taehyung’s girlfriend, Jess, who happily devoured them. He was absolutely good at avoiding eye contact, his hyung could try everything to lock eyes with him but he would never let him. 

"You described him as the nice, funny and understanding guy. Do you really think he didn’t wait every day for you to write him back?" 

Fuck, he had a point there. Rather than giving in, Jimin rolled his eyes and continued to stroke his untouched burger with his index finger. "I don’t know. There might be a chance that he changed." 

Yoongi’s little scoff was loud enough to witness and in the corner of his eye he could see him resting his hand on his forehead. His face screaming: absolutely irritated. 

"How would you know? You might haven’t even changed at all? What kind of hypocrisy is it in making yourself believe that he changed just because he got his share of fame? Have a little trust in him, would you?" 

Now Jimin started to get a bit frustrated. What did he even expect from him in the first place? That he would wait all day till the mail arrives and then cry his eyes out after realising Jungkook didn’t write back? He was not even expecting that, so why should he drive himself into doing it? 

"Hyung how about you mind your own business, huh?" 

Yoongi rolled his eyes, grabbed his notes and backpack while staring at him in disbelief before leaving.

The atmosphere now was absolutely awkward.

"I know you don’t wanna hear this… But Mister Min has a point there.”

Hoseok broke the silence. Thankfully, all the others sighed in relief and nodded their heads.

“Have a bit of trust in him. I’m not saying that you should wait for him every day to write you back or something. But just…”

His lips closed, teeth clenched, and his eyes twitched due to him urging them to close. Waiting for his brain to come up with a good word.

“Patience!”

He screamed, pointing at the confused Jimin who was now sliding back into his seat. Extremely embarrassed.

“Sorry.” He chortled. “Was I too loud?”

Tae brushed it off by making a gesture to make him continue his started speech.

“Anyways… You need to stay patient. Find a balance. Don’t be too disappointed every day, but also don’t give up on him. Give him his time.”

Everyone who was seated, slowly started to get up either going to classes or getting back to the dorms. Except for Jimin and Taehyung.

Jimin’s best friend was just staring at him. Hoping to see some kind of change of heart. He wanted the best for him, after all Jimin was always there for him too.

“And?”

Taehyung broke off the silence once again, while coughing the word out.

The blonde-haired boy peeled off the etiquette on his “Gatorade” bottle, and just nodded. What else should he even do at this point. 

He knew that they were actually saying the right thing. Even Yoongi hyung. Nevertheless, it was hard to stay calm about it. Jungkook was always someone he wanted to be close with, but he never had the guts to do something about it. Not to mention, playing it off, telling himself that it was just a kindergarten crush. When in reality it wasn’t.

“Stay strong dude. See you later?”

Giving him just one last little pat on the shoulder, he left.

Letting Jimin drown alone in his thoughts.

*

And like that the days went by. Pretty quickly, even Jimin needed to admit to that. 

College, work, hanging out with friends. All of that. Everyday.

Jungkook creeping up in his thoughts here and there, but never to such an extent as he expected. When he ate something, whereas he knew that Jungkook once loved too, he would think of him for a brief moment. And that was all. Smiling for a bit and then erasing him from his thoughts for the rest of the day. After days full of insomnia and lack of appetite… Finally, he felt like he could let go. 

It turned out that it was easier for him to let Kook go, even though he was sure that there was simply no chance that he would have read the letter the older wrote for him. 

Still… something about just writing his thoughts on a sheet of paper made him feel absolutely relieved. 

It felt like he sent these feelings and honest thoughts to Jungkook. Just in a weird and telepathic way. 

“Do you have the notes from that one lecture… uhm.. where we talked about 'The Catcher in the Rye’?”

As always Taehyung was grabbing Jimin back into reality. 

“Huh?" 

Jimin took his airpods out of his ears. Rubbing his eyes tiredly, confused as to what he wanted from him. 

They always studied together, especially when it came to the exams from Mr. Kim. Even though he was extremely awesome and an outstanding professor, he also expected thrice as much. 

Taehyung grabbed his notes, that were uhm… not really there? 

Jimin chuckled, going through his hair while searching for that one specific lecture where Kim was discussing Holden Caulfield’s character and if anyone felt the same as him in a specific time in their life. The blonde remembered that he was discussing with him a lot about that issue yet being careful about touching any parts that matched Holden’s character to his. 

He loved analysing the characters, and deep down he also loved to take a harsh comparison to them with himself. 

Holden was such a free nature, he never listened or cared about his environment and what they thought was the right thing for him. He just did what he needed to do, maybe even exaggerating a bit, in the process of finding himself. 

Jimin was actually the counterpart of him. He always cared and wanted to be accepted by his friends and family. Mentally, however he also felt like Holden. Trapped in a society where you needed to fulfil someone else’s dream, or someone else’s path. But what if one’s path was different? What if he doesn’t want to go to school, be an ace student and marry some women and create his own family? What if he just wants to do his own thing? Concentrating on just being happy? 

"Here we go.” He handed his friend a perfect 5-piece sheet of notes of all the analysing points Kim addressed. Just as Taehyung was grabbing the notes, his eyes started to glitter full of relief. 

“What would I ever do without you Jimin-ah!” Jimin winked at him, while offering him some honey butter chips. “You would terribly suffer.” He replied while trying to imitate a darker voice.  

Like that, they continued their work, helping each other out if there were some specific questions, reading out the passages of J. D. Salinger’s novel, and repeating all the points Kim addressed. 

“Ah shit.” Taehyung looked at his phone, quickly packing up his things and closing his MacBook. 

Jimin smiled, he forgot the time once again and realised he needed to go to some date with Jess. 

Typical Taehyung. 

“Hurry up or I’ll snitch on Jess the next time and make you bad!” Jimin replied quite happily, while smacking his friend’s ass with his book. 

“Dude don’t. That woman will stare at me with her medusa eyes!” He continued while grabbing things with a rushing panic, throwing it into his bag. 

Of course, it was all jokes and fun, and Jess would always forgive him no matter what. Due to Taehyung being extremely loveable of course. They had the best relationship, Jimin could think of. Both were the most amazing human beings, and their relationship was so healthy. He wished that one day, he would meet that one person too. And fell head over heels for someone. Hopefully once again. In the near future. 

“Ah Jiminie…" 

Jimin, who was still laying on his bed, looked over to the door frame where Taehyung was standing and still in the process of wearing his shoes. 

"I’m so happy that you are doing better." 

Jimin just smiled lightly as a reply, waving with his hand, indicating that he should leave already. A quick "love you, bye!” and then he was gone. 

The blonde went back into laying on his stomach, grabbing the novel. It looked horrible, completely read out and crinkled. Showing how much, he actually loved it. 

Just like that, the late afternoon turned into an early night. 

Taehyung came along with him after a lecture they visited together. They both ordered food, as always, and then started to switch their notes. Of course, Jimin was more thorough when it came to writing notes, but it didn’t bother him at all to help his friend out. Tae was amazingly good at analysing. Thoughts that he never imagined would come up in Tae’s brain in an instant. 

Such an intelligent but absolutely lazy boy. 

Now it was already past 8pm. The thought of needing to eat was alarming in the back of his head. But he was exhausted and just wanted to sleep. 

After a quick search, he found a single pack of Ramen. He quickly put the pot on the stove and waited till the water heated up. 

Suddenly, he heard someone knocking on his door. 

His doorbell stopped working for some reason, so therefore his friends would just message him that they were there. Taehyung was the only one who would knock, but first, he was already gone and secondly, he had a weird knocking style.

He would abuse his door as a percussion to be exact.

“Who is it?” He anxiously raised his voice a little. But still no reaction. 

“Whoever that may be. Can you just tell me who you are?" 

Still no reaction. After a while, the person started to knock again. 

Jimin was prepared for moments like these. He quickly grabbed a pretty unsharp butter knife and put his ear on the cheap door. He could swear he heard someone snickering. His heartbeat was increasing rapidly. 

One hand was wandering from the door to the knob, while the other held tightly the grip on the knife. 

Slowly he opened the door, his heart stopping momentarily, after seeing someone who seemed to be dressed completely in black. 

Thank god, the person had some great taste though that’s for sure.

First he saw the shoes, just some plain black converse chucks, then his eyes wandered up to the person’s pants. Also black, with some chains dangling around the area where the pockets were. Once he found his way to the person’s torso, the man was grabbing him by his arms. 

The smaller one from both of them, who seemingly was Jimin, started to shut down his eyes. Completely terrified. 

"Hyung? Can you just stop the games and look me straight in the eye?” The taller man broke the silent awkward atmosphere. 

For some reason, the voice sounded so familiar but at the same time completely foreign. 

Jimin opened his eyes slowly, looking up to the man, still squinting. 

“It’s me. Jungkookie." 

*

Silence. 

Awkwardness…

Now sitting in front of each other, Jimin felt completely bamboozled. 

Was this some reality show? 

"Your tea is getting cold… there..” Jimin raised his index finger and aimed for the little teacup. 

“Ah yeah. That’s fine. I’m not really here to drink tea to be honest." 

The younger one, took a sip from his tea while staring, confidently, at the older one. 

Jimin quickly looked away, feeling how his heart started to go crazy in his chest. 

"Hyung, how have you been?” Jungkook came closer to him, dragging the chair as close as possible to the table, staring at the nervous hands of the older one. 

“Nothing much. Just college stuff." 

Biting on his under lip, he realised how happy he felt but at the same time his guilt started to come back and nagged on his intestines. 

"Oh hyung.” Jungkook rolled his eyes while grabbing Jimin’s tiny hands. It was an unexpected gesture. Kook’s hands however, were so warm. Jimin’s hands in comparison were freezing cold. Jimin realised that he appeased himself more.

“I’m sorry, Kookie…" 

Here he was. Sitting in front of him. Holding his hands, as if he was the one that fucked up. Even though it needed to be the other way around. 

"I fucked up.”

He couldn’t handle the emotions that were starting to tear him apart. The complete opposite sides of emotions were clashing with each other, overwhelming him. Happiness on one hand, since Jungkook finally found his way back to him, but sadness because he felt like he did not deserve it. Relief, as it seemed like Jungkook came back to accept his letter, but on the other hand also guilt. Since it was not fair of him to believe that he would gladly do that. 

“Hyung…” Jungkook’s grip on Jimin’s hands was tighter now and while he looked at him, smiling softly, seeing the tears flowing down on the pale skin of the older one, he couldn’t overcome his heart bursting. Seeing him like this was not his aim. Not at all. 

Jungkook closed his eyes, pulling Jimin’s hands closer to him. Dragging him softly to him, so that Jimin had no choice but to slightly get dragged up on the table. 

Softly, he kissed Jimin’s hands. Making Jimin just sob even louder than he was before. 

“No, you didn’t.” Jungkook’s voice broke. 

Jimin looked at him. Frightened that he made him cry as well.

The black-haired boy was still covering his face with Jimin’s hands. It felt so natural, and there was no sign of weirdness in the air. Something about this touch felt too familiar. 

And then he realised…

When they were younger, Jimin would always grab Kookie’s hands and lay them on his cheeks. It was something he always did when Kookie would run behind him before school. And quickly, Kookie would turn silent. Acting shy. 

What both never really knew was, that both of their hearts were beating strongly. Together. 

“I’m so sorry too." 

Finally looking up from the older’s hands. "I missed you a lot." 

Jimin smiled. Standing up, while still having Jungkook’s hands intertwined with his. Jungkook followed his action, also standing up. The height difference made him chuckle even more. And quickly like that the tears were forgotten. 

"I missed you so much.” Jimin replied, while falling onto the younger’s chest. 

So many years, both of them were silently loving each other. Trying to forget, trying to erase all the memories. But it was impossible. And now both of them were here, standing in Jimin’s crappy apartment holding each other in their arms and forgetting the hurtful years that they lived without each other. 

“But wait a second!” Jungkook broke away from the hug, quickly wiping his tears, and then grabbing Jimin’s hand once again. 

“Hmm let’s take a look…" 

"Aw come on. Really? Still, to this day?" 

Jimin just chuckled, while Jungkook was testing out if his pinkie was finally taller than Jimin’s. And of course, it was. There was no need to even look. Jungkook’s hands were enormous in comparison to Jimin’s tiny hands. 

"You know what that means?" 

The blonde just laughed and quickly hit the younger one’s chest rapidly. 

"First we need to have some dates. Don’t you think?" 

Jungkook rolled his eyes, while dragging the younger one back into his arms. "So many problems along the way. Horrible!” He joked, while grabbing Jimin’s head softly, dragging him onto his chest.

The older one took the chance to take in the beautiful smell of Jungkook. It was hard to describe, something sweet but in the same way not extremely intrusive. Rather delicate, soft. He could swear somewhere while smelling it, he could sense… lavender? And in an absolute weird way… He swore that he also smelt the only perfume his mom would wear back then. 

While his head was still dug into Jungkook’s chest, he felt how his eyes formed tears once again. He felt like he smelt all the mesmerizing things again that was once everyday life. Jungkook smelt like Busan, like his dog “Doraemon” and like all the cherry popsicles they both blissfully devoured. 

He smelt like home. 

Jimin realised how much he missed his hometown. He had the urge to go back and just relive everything with Kookie. 

All these thoughts rushed into his mind, and it made him feel hopeful for the future. 

He looked up to the black haired boy who was still snickering cutely, and Jimin had the urge to poke his cheeks. He was so adorable, the way he smiled, had the same impact on him like a single shot of soju. It loosened his nerves and he felt like he wasn’t as tense anymore. 

He had a feeling that he could fight every problem that would come to tackle him, eye to eye. 

“Do you want to stay overnight?" 

Jimin silently asked. Wishing he would accept his offer. 

Jungkook hugged him even tighter, as if Jimin would run away from him, if he said no. "I wish I could say yes… But I can’t. Not today." 

Jimin nodded, while poking his nose against the younger’s hard chest. "I cannot wait till you can." 

*

The light of the sun was shining through the thin curtain. Sun rays tickling the blonde’s face, waking him up softly. 

Jimin was confused. It was already morning? He would normally wake up in between his restless sleep, sometimes he would even lay in bed and stop wishing for sleep. Just accepting that he won’t sleep. 

His dear old friend insomnia. 

However, yesterday was different. He fell asleep right there, as if somebody were using a remote controlling him. Pushing the "off” button. 

It felt like weeks where Jimin was last sleeping peacefully. It was a relieving feeling. No headache was awaiting him, or the urge to chug down  5 cups of coffee to get through the day. 

Of course his problems were still awaiting him nonetheless. Yet the anxiety… was on a way lower level. He felt like he could easily confront his frustration as well as his insecurities. 

He was hopeful. 

And just as that, he realised how much time he actually had left. Enough to take a longer shower, and even enough to eat a little breakfast. 

Normally “breakfast” wasn’t included in his life. Time was always running, and he rarely had time to dress up. 

Today was an exception whatsoever.

While making him a little breakfast that included coffee, eggs some tomatoes and bread his phone vibrated quite aggressively on the kitchen counter. 

Quickly, he grabbed his phone, at the same time also trying to manage his eggs who were really close to burning. 

“Jimin-ssi, did you sleep well? I want to see you. Let’s meet up shouldn’t we? I will be there next to you sooner or later. Wait for me. I want to surprise you.”

P.S: Also here is a little something for you :3" 

Jungkook always drew little sketches back then in Busan, and would deliver it to Jimin in all different ways. It was a cute habit, and Jimin was sure he still had the sketches somewhere in a box. 

The sketch that Kook drew this time, involved someone who seemed to smile shyly. His cheeks were all smudgy, probably on purpose to give it a cute look. The eyes of that person were covered by someone else’s hands. Who that person was, is not known. You couldn’t really see the body of that person, just the hands that were caressing the smiling person’s eyes. 

The person was no one other than Jimin himself. 

He was awed by how good Jungkook’s sketch looked. It was drawn quickly, but he seemed to work on the details after the first outline. Like the smudged grey pencil stains on the cheek, or the shadows that he must’ve drawn quickly afterwards. 

It made him feel cherished. 

Jungkook took the time out of his own busy life to draw this little painting of them, and it made him fall even more in love with him.

* “Damn, Jimin is everything alright?” Jin went through Jimin’s blonde hair, then caressing his forehead checking as if he had high temperature. In return he rolled his eyes trying to push Jin’s hands away. “He seems so cheerful and motivated today? He even contributed to Ms. Hwang’s class… Puhhh..!” Jess dropped her backpack on the table and continued to rub her temples. Ms. Hwang was an old grumpy lady who wasn’t born to teach at all. There was no respect to her students whatsoever and anything that she liked, was mostly the same opinion she had, or people who just kissed her ass for the sweet extra credit. A horrible prof, how it should be presented in the dictionary. “I don’t know. It’s just nice. I feel like things are getting better for me… I don’t know..?” One by one, everyone started to take a seat. As if they telepathically saw Jimin with good mood, and couldn’t believe it. “So how is Jungkook?” Yoongi asked, quite interested. That was completely shocking to anyone who sat at the table, they looked at him as if they were worried. “You really care?” Jimin asked, once again avoiding eye contact. “Yup. I wouldn’t ask, if I didn’t care.” He grabbed an apple and bit into it, directly looking at the younger boy. “He is absolutely amazing." 

* After spending some quality time with his friends, he was preparing himself to go back to work. Normally Taehyung would join him, just keeping an eye on him and spending some alone time with his friend. Today however, Jimin told him that it was fine. That he did not need to come along with him. Jimin always felt bad for needing Taehyung in such an excessive manner. His best friend had a girlfriend and he should spend some quality time with her too. They both were heavily interested in art, therefore Jimin gave them two tickets for a well-known atelier opening that one of his classmates gifted him. Jimin helped that particular classmate out with a literature exam once, so he wanted to thank him in return with them. They both deserved it. They were always there for him, now it was time for Jimin to give back. As soon as he started his work, he became even more relaxed than he already was. He wished that this feeling… Being hopeful about the future… would eventually stay. Jungkook was also a big part of it, it felt like he showed him all the good parts of life, and he welcomed that. One by one all the known customers were starting to give their order. Normally, there wouldn’t be that many new customers, the cafe was near college and it was mostly either college kids who want to work peacefully or the elderly who want to kill time. All in all, pretty peaceful. Today, however, there was someone wanting to take an order that Jimin never met before. He tried to remember but there was no way that he knew that person. That specific person was wearing glasses and a bucket hat, wearing completely black. After working on that order and putting it onto the glass counter in front of that unknown person, he heard a familiar giggle. Jeon Jungkook. Of course. "Oh my god. What are you doing here? Isn’t that a bit too risky?!” Jimin whispered while nervously taking the money from Kook. “That’s all fine. People rarely look at me, when I come with this attire.” He responded while showing off his clothes. Jimin couldn’t contain a snicker. 

What a stupid idiot he was…

“Is that what you meant with 'surprise���?" 

"No, my surprise is actually a picnic in Han river. I wanted to see you. That’s all.” The blonde couldn’t stop himself from putting his hand on his chest. His heart pounded loudly, and this time it didn’t come from panicking. “When?" 

"Whenever. I don’t have any schedules today and tomorrow. I just had a comeback a few weeks ago. It was simple, so the promotions aren’t that long. My company is also pretty nice and let me take some days off.” Jungkook took his food, without even looking back and waiting for an answer, he quickly sat down on the next best table. Of course it was a table that was right next to Jimin.  The blonde rolled his eyes, yet wholeheartedly accepting the risk that they both put themselves into. He trusted Jungkook, and he felt happy to be next to him. 

*

Looking at the old clock right next to his working space, he realised that his shift was ending sooner than he expected. “Ready to go to the picnic?” He asked Kook who was still managing to look like he was reading. “Finished already?” He quickly put down his book, his grimace looking like he was so disappointed that he needed to stop reading. “Do you know that you are an idiot?” Jimin responded with a slightly rougher tone. Jungkook smiled while taking off his sunglasses, even though he still wore a mask, Jimin could see the skin next to his eyes wrinkling. Without a proper response, he gently grabbed Jimin’s hands and put back his sunglasses on. And like that both left the establishment, making the customers question themselves who that good-looking man was, who has Jimin wrapped around his little finger. * “Ughh, I’m so full…” Jimin stroked his stomach, while looking at the leftover food. It was nearing the end of the day, and he realised how today felt like a quick catch of breath. The whole time, they were spending together, seemed to be packed in indulging their childhood and missing the time where they couldn’t be one. “Really? Already? You were always a bad eater..!” Jungkook responded while quickly grabbing the leftover spring rolls and tteokbokki. “It’s so good to dib it into the sauce, ahh you’re missing out.” “I really did.” Jimin said to himself while looking at the hungry Jungkook devouring the last bit of food. He closed his eyes and felt how fresh the wind was feeling on his skin. The night was still young, but he already felt how tired he actually was. This day was an improvement to the last couple of weeks. But he knew that he needed to improve more; to be the person he always yearned to be. For some it might feel far-fetched to say that Jungkook was the reason why Jimin felt better. And maybe it even was. Nevertheless, wasn’t it normal when specific people in your life made you feel better about yourself? Wasn’t it the case in a healthy relationship ? “Thank you, Jungkookie.” The black-haired boy was looking up from his food, midst slurping his noodles. Tilting his head like a confused puppy. Jimin caressed the crumbles on the corner of his lips away, and locked eyes with his lover. Jungkook quickly finished his noodles, before coming closer to the blonde. Jimin took this as a chance to grab Kook’s chin to face him again. And there it was. The soft shy smile the younger, once gifted him. Right there at that moment, Jimin knew what he wanted. “I love you.” It was as simple as that. Jimin pecked Jungkook’s lips softly, tasting like all the sweet promises they gave each other. “I thought you would never say that.” Jungkook replied while kissing him right back. A bit rougher, but still soft enough. Without them even realising it, the sun went down, both of them finally admitting their deep-rooted history. Waiting for such a long time, made the kiss even sweeter, Jimin thought to himself. Sometimes you find people in a state of life, when you need them the most. And sometimes the people who were once your hope, come back and decide to stay all over again. They both kissed for such a long time that Jimin didn’t notice how his phone was vibrating aggressively on the blanket underneath them. Until finally Jungkook let go of the kiss, smiling shyly while pointing at the phone that was still annoying the peaceful state they were in. “You wanna take it?” “Ughhh.. who is the cockblocker, do I need to kill him…” Jimin whispered more to himself, while grabbing his phone and checking the messages. “Ah fuck, I completely forgot..” Jimin stood up quickly, searching for his keys and bag. While Jungkook was still sitting on the blanket, cross-legged, patiently waiting for him to give a proper response. “My friends have that night where we all meet up at our favorite bar to drink and eat while talking about all the shit we went through. We mostly do that once in a month.” Jungkook raised his eyebrows, still looking at the confused and panicking Jimin. “It’s okay, if you need to go. I’ll clean this up and we meet up tomorrow?” Jimin laughed, acting like it was the dumbest idea he heard. “No, no, no. Sir! You are coming with me. You will meet them!” Jungkook quickly stood up from the blanket and looked at him all shocked. His doe-like eyes widened. “Already?” Jimin nodded, quickly cleaning their little spot and putting the plastic into the next close trash can. “They will love you! They are a bit chaotic but that’s actually endearing, trust me!” He grabbed Jungkook’s hand and dragged him with him. This is going to be an interesting night, that’s for sure…

*

The club where they meet up once in a month was the city’s hottest place. Every college kid wanted to spend their Friday nights there, it was heavily crowded, therefore you mostly needed to reserve a table beforehand. That job was actually Jin’s, but he usually forgets, so thus Joon took over. Whenever a month was coming to an end, they all meet up, talk about their experiences and drown their worries with alcohol. It was a tradition all of them enjoyed. And Jimin knew that they all wanted to get to know Jungkook, so why not now? “Ah, I heard of this place.” Jungkook screamed, now wearing his whole attire again, hoping to prevent any potential fans catching him. He hoped he could get a glimpse of Jimin’s friend group, who told him a lot of things about them but it was so crowded that it was extremely hard. “They are all up there, we have an own lounge. So you don’t need to wear all of this!” Jimin screamed back, the music was too loud down there and he was happy when he could meet his friends soon. The younger was obedient and let himself drag around the club, while looking at all the different things that were happening. Jimin couldn’t contain a smile, Jungkook was so precious. “Guys! HEY!” Jimin first saw Yoongi, then Hoseok then all the others. They were all dressed fancily, and Jimin quickly felt like he was way underdressed. “Oh, hey guys!” Hoseok catched that both of the boys were still holding hands, and quickly smiled brightly. “You need to be Jungkook?” Jimin saw his look so he quickly let go, feeling embarrassed. His face rapidly getting tomato red. Jungkook quickly took off his mask, bucket hat and glasses with one hand, while the other was still shamelessly taking a hold onto Jimin’s waist. Which made Jimin blush even more. “Yes, I am. Hello!” He bowed, and went back into holding Jimin’s waist. The others were all smiling brightly, indeed happy about the outcome of Jimin’s known backstory with him. “Take a seat. You are the youngest, so you don’t need to buy anything!” Jin quickly chimed in, while pointing at the free seats next to Taehyung and Jess who were both laughing uncontrollably. Gosh how he hated his best friends sometimes. “So you are Jimin’s boyfriend?” Yoongi dropped the bomb as soon as they were taking a seat and Jimin wished he didn’t choose to come. It must’ve been so uncomfortable to Jungkook. 

Because it sure as hell was for him. Besides, both of them didn’t really talk about being officially together, what made the situation way more awkward. “Yes. I am. As long as Jimin is content with that decision?” He quickly looked at Jimin who was shocked. Here was dominant boyfriend Jungkook again. Jimin felt how his cheeks were burning. He just nodded. Not knowing how else to reply with. The black-haired boy was now freely putting his arm around his now “boyfriend”. It felt surreal to be called that way. And even though it wasn’t really romantic how he asked him, it still felt amazing that he did it in front of his friends. The closest people to him. He wasn’t even doubting this question one bit. “Ah okay. That’s nice to hear.” Yoongi responded softly, while still keeping his eyes on Jungkook. He was protective of Jimin, everybody knew that. However, something about Yoongi looking at Jungkook that way, made everyone accept Jungkook even more: Yoongi smiled. He smiled while looking at the youngest of the batch, accepting it fully. As long as Yoongi was accepting of someone, everybody else in their group of friends trusted that person as well. 

Kind of like the mom of group. The couple of hours they all spent together was magical. It felt like Jungkook always was a part of the group, his humor was the same kind as that from the group and even Taehyung was happily accepting him as a member of their little squad. Jimin and Jungkook were also the only ones who denied any alcohol. They both were already intoxicated of this beautiful relaxing night, that they didn’t need any of it. Who thought it could be that easy? Jimin definitely didn’t. A couple of weeks ago, he wouldn’t have thought in a million dreams that Jungkook would sit right next to him, an arm around him, kissing him and asking him if he was alright, while all of his friends were present. It was like a fever dream. Just entirely positive. “I think it’s time for us to go. Thank you guys for today.” Jimin openly said to the little group, some already highly drunk while others were nodding happily back. He waved them all goodbye and before he could leave for good, along with Jungkook, there was a hand on his shoulder making him stop. “Hey, wait a minute.” It was Taehyung. “I just wanted to say how happy I am, that you guys met up again. There is nothing as precious as loving and being loved. But never forget…!” His gaze now hit Jungkook, who was severly confused. “If you ever manage to hurt my baby boy here…!” Taehyung, heavily tipsy, laid his head on Jimin’s shoulder, while pointing at Jungkook. Giving him a clear warning. Of course this was absolutely cute and of course no bad feelings were intended. It made the couple chuckle and they both gave him a goodbye hug before they left. On their way to Jimin’s apartment, hand in hand, the older realised what actually happened today. Also in what kind of head space he also was. It wasn’t perfect, here and there he still tried to control his anxiety but he felt better, he felt hopeful. They both talked for a while, after arriving at Jimin’s little home and continued to giggle about the response Jimin’s friends gave them. The butterflies that once annoyed Jimin when he thought of Jungkook, were now fluttering inside his stomach again. Now, however, he was accepting it. Completely intoxicated by love, for once he welcomed the future that was awaiting him. * The next morning started like the day before. The sunlight was dancing once again on Jimin’s face, welcoming him for today. He opened his eyes, trying to cover his eyes with his small little hand. Next to him, his boyfriend. Still sleeping peacefully, eyes twitching here and there. “Kook-ah..” Jimin softly whispered while kissing him all over his face. Covering him, with tiny little smooches. 

“Hmmm..”

There was not really a response, but Jimin smiled whatsoever. He loved sleepy Kookie. He was even more adorable in this state.

“I love you. I love you. I love you.” He said like a mantra, finally making Kook respond with the biggest smile. “Say it once more!” Jimin shook his head, acting like he was angry, ready to jump off the bed. “Hey, say it again..!” Kook quickly grabbed Jimin by his waist dragging him back to bed, kissing him directly on the lips. “You are the only one that tastes still so sweet in the morning, how are you doing that?” Jimin chuckled while kissing him right back.

There are so many obstacles that are awaiting me…

The anxiety will maybe never leave me…

And the uncertain feelings about the future will probably continue to haunt me…

I have a long way to go… But with you it seems like a quick walk to the store…

[baconsoupforthesoul]

The Ink Demonth - Day 21 - Money

No Refunds, No Returns!~

A/N: This is a fic idea I have had bouncing around in my head for a long time. And luckily, the theme for the day lets me combine the prompt with celebrating the 2nd anniversary of the amazing Bioshock au! If you haven't had a chance to check out this incredible au, do yourself a favor and go see all the great fanart and fics for it, it’s well worth your time. And as always, in this au Henry belongs to @inkspottie, and Delta belongs to @trashboatprince, and Ross belongs to @doberart. And the song referenced in here is the Circus of Value Song by JT Music which you can find here. Oh, and a big thanks to Mod Dead for helping me get the humor just right for this fic. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy~

“Can’t you hack it any faster, Henry?”

The sweater-clad man shot an annoyed look up at Delta before turning back to the vending machine in front of him.

“I’m going as fast as I can, Delta,” Henry grumbled as he fiddled with the Circus of Values vendor. “This hacking business is harder than it looks, okay?”

“Alright, alright,” the big daddy held up his hands in surrender as he leaned back against the wall.

“Take your time, Henry,” Ross said gently as he sat down next to the machine with a grunt, adjusting his bad leg. “I don’t hear any splicers around so we should be safe for now.”

The older man had a point, as Henry couldn’t hear the normally never-ending chatter of the spliced up Rapture citizens. However, he could hear the growling of his stomach, and his friends’ as well. While they were actually surprisingly well-stocked on ammo, they hadn’t been able to find a vending machine that sold food for ages, and after fighting through hoards of splicers, all three of them were practically starving.

If only they weren't so low on cash, they’d be able to get some snacks from the machine no problem.

“Come back when ya get some money, buddy!” The machine chortled at Henry mockingly.

“Oh shut it,” Henry growled, whacking the machine in the side, causing Delta to chuckle.

As Henry fiddled with it some more, Ross turned to look over at him. “What kind of food does the vending machine have anyway?” He asked, his hand involuntarily going over his empty stomach.

“Hmmm,” Henry glanced at the menu. “Looks like chips, creme-filled cake, and pep bars.”

Ross made a face at that. “Damn, was kinda hoping for some real food. Getting sick of all this junk food.”

“I don’t think it’s so bad,” Delta argued. “I could do with a pep bar right about now.”

“Says you,” Henry huffed. “You’ve just never had anything different.”

“When we make it to the surface, we’ll get you some real food, Delta,” Ross said. “Trust me, anything that Linda makes is better than anything you could find down here.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Delta shot Ross a grin and a thumbs up.

“I wanna try the surface food too! Can I? Can I?” Bendy chirped from Delta’s shoulder.

“Of course you can bud,” Delta reached his hand back and rubbed the little devil between his horns. “All the food you can eat!”

“Woo hoo!” Bendy cheered, hugging his daddy around the neck.

Henry smiled at the two of them before turning back to his work. Hopefully, they could enjoy a nice big meal together up on the surface after this whole nightmare was over. Hopefully, they all survived to see the sun again. It had felt hopeless when he had been stuck down here on his own… but now that he’d found allies… it started to seem just a little more possible.

The sweater-clad man narrowed his eyes at the vending machine. He was so close now. He just had to move this bit here…

Henry’s head suddenly shot up when the lights from the vending machine brightened up, shielding his eyes for a second. Then, the ever-annoying laugh from the vending machine started playing, only it was much louder than before. All three of them covered their ears, Bendy even wincing at the loud noise as a deafening jingle started to play.

“Welcome to the Circus of Values

You’ll find no better vending service around you

We’ve got everything that you’ll ever need

Don’t be shy! Come on by! You’ve got a craving to feed~”

“AHHHH!” Henry fell backward onto his backside, hands conversing the sides of his head as the sheer volume made his ears ring.

“WHAT THE HELL?!” Delta jumped back from the machine. “What in the world did ya do, Henry?!”

“I-I-I don’t know,” he cried, seeing Ross scramble to his feet, almost losing his balance and needing the wall to steady himself. “This has never happened before!”

“You can never be too prepared

We’ve got plenty of supplies to spare~”

“Ohhhh! Music!” Bendy beamed, jumping down off Delta’s shoulder, looking over at the machine with stars in his eyes.

“Shut that damn thing off, Henry!” Delta tried to yell over the song. “Everyone in this whole city is gonna hear that thing! We’re gonna be drowning in splicers!”

“Oh shit!” Henry rushed back to the machine, trying his best to endure the loud music as he fiddled with it some more. “Oh shit, oh shit, ohshitohshit,OHSHIT!”

“Without your wallet it’s gonna cost ya

But if you’ve got the capital

We got the product!~”

“I think we’re too late for that,” Ross paled as he looked up to see a splicer screeching at them from a nearby balcony.

Henry gulped, as even with the blaring music, he could hear the sounds of voices all around them.

“What?”

"I don't like the sound of that!"

"H-hello? Is there someone in the hall?"

“You don't come to my town, kid!"

"A rat! It's a rat!"

Henry spared a single glance behind him, seeing the oncoming hoard approaching. They were in deep shit.

“Damn!” Ross readied his pistol. “They’re coming guys, get ready!”

“This ain’t no charity

Come back when you get some money, buddy~”

The splicers descended upon them. Delta rushed forward, slamming one into the wall with his drill while Ross sent out crows to slow them down.

“Where the hell did they all come from?!” Delta yelled, knocking down splicers left and right. “There was nobody around before, so what gives?!?”

“You think I know that?” Ross retorted, shooting a splicer down before they got too close to Henry.

“Grab snacks and drinks and first aid

For when you get bloody, uh oh!~”

“Dammit! That stupid song is mocking us!” Delta complained, feeling his stomach rumble at the mention of food. “Hey Henry! What’s taking you so damn-”

The big daddy stopped as he turned around to see his little devil just dancing along to the song. Bendy had the biggest grin on his feet as he tapped his feet to the beat, completely lost in the music.

“Bendy,” Delta called out to the little devil, his voice a little strained. “You’re real adorable, but now really isn’t the time, okay buddy?” 

Bendy just looked up at his dad in confusion

“Huh? Why’s that?” He tilted his head up at him.

Just as Bendy asked the question, a splicer came jumping down from a balcony, screaming bloody murder as it charged at Delta. Bendy yelped as he scrambled up Delta’s back, the big daddy sending a blast of Old Man Winter to freeze the splicer in place. He then rushed forward and smashed them to bits.

“That’s why,” Delta pointed out, reaching up to rub Bendy’s head. “Just stick close to me, alright bud?”

“Ain’t life in Rapture grand?

Come on and give us a hand

We’ll build a paradise~”

“There’s no end to them!” Ross cried, sending splicers hurtling into the air with Newton’s Law.

“We just wanted some fucking food,” Henry grumbled under his breath as he worked. “We didn’t ask for this. Didn’t ask to be at the bottom of the goddamn ocean dealing with psychopaths. Didn’t ask for all this BULLSHIT! WHY WON’T YOU SHUT UP YOU DAMN MACHINE?!”

“Henry!” Ross kicked a splicer in the chest before turning to face Henry. “You have to calm down! You’re not thinking straight right now. Now isn’t the time to panic!”

“Calm down, yeah, I’ll get right to that shall I?” Henry grumbled under his breath. “I’m sorry Ross, but now seems like the PERFECT TIME TO PANIC!”

“Don’t tamper with the hardware

Unless you’re a parasite~”

“COME ON!” Delta roared, smashing splicer after splicer in the face with his drill. “I DON’T,” he whacked another one. “HAVE,” Whack! “ANY TIME,” Whack! “FOR THIS!” Whack! “HENRY SHUT THAT DAMN THING OFF ALREADY!”

“I AM T R Y I N G!” Henry screamed back, hitting the machine desperately. “This should go here, and that there, and WHY ISN’T THIS WORKING???” he cried, feeling tears of panic prick at his eyes.

“You’re not a man if you’re demanding handouts

Come back when you get some money, buddy~”

“Any time now, Henry!” Ross yelled, elbowing a splicer in the face, shooting another point blank with his pistol. 

“I know! I knowwwww,” Henry whined, shocking the machine with his shock jockey again and again in the vain hope that it would help. The shocks did nothing though, other than somehow make the music louder. Henry could hardly hear himself think over the noise.

“Our prices are the best

We drive the competition nutty~”

“SHUT UP” Henry screamed at the machine, whacking it as hard as he could. "WHY CAN'T YOU SHUT UPPPPPP PLEASEEEE,” Henry cried desperately, tears streaming down his face. “I’M BEGGING YOU, CIRCUS OF VALUES CLOWN, JUST SHUT UPPPPPPP!"

The sweater-clad man let out a scream of frustration as he stood up and began repeatedly kicking the machine. “SHUT UP! SHUTUP! SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!” He screamed, kicking the machine again with each word.

“Welcome to the Circus of Values

You’ll find no better vending service around you

We’ve got everything that you’ll ever need

Don’t be shy! Come on by! You’ve got a craving to feed~”

“THAT’S IT!” Delta yelled, storming towards the machine. “I’VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH THIS DAMN THING!”

The big daddy pushed Henry aside, grabbed the machine by both sides and lifted the whole thing up.

“Go home if you can’t afford to buy it~”

“TAKE THIS YOU STUPID VENDING MACHINE!” He hollered, throwing the thing with all his might and managing to take out the last few splicers with it. The thing burst, raining bullets, snacks and drinks all over the place. Henry even felt a pep bar hit him on the head before tumbling to the ground.

The song stopped, the sound from the machine sputtering. The last noise it made was a feeble “No refunds, no returnssssssss-,” before it went silent. The three of them just stood there for a moment, catching their breath. A second later though, alarms started blaring, the security system alerted that the vending machine had been vandalized.

“Why did you do that, Delta?!” Henry cried, pointing an accusing finger at Delta. “Now we’re going to be swarmed by security bots!”

“If I had to listen to any more of that annoying song, I was gonna lose my mind!” Delta shot back. “There’s no time to argue, grab the food and run!”

The big daddy rushed forward, grabbing as many bags of chips and creme-filled cakes as his arms could carry. Henry and Ross quickly rushed forward too, Ross making sure to grab a coffee thermos as Henry snagged some pep bars.

“Here they come!” Ross yelled as the whirling sound of security bots got closer.

“Run for it!” Delta tried to scream through a mouthful of chips he had cramped in his mouth.

“Shit!” Henry yelped around a pep bar he had hanging out of his mouth, trying his best to run with his arms full of food.

“Save some food for me, Daddy!” Bendy whined as they all booked it out of there, security bots right on their heels. They were certainly having a grand old time in Rapture.

[comfortablynumb]

Theodosia jr...

Okay, I see so many people saying that if Theodosia jr was in Hamilton she’d be played by Jasmine. A ton of the fanart of young Theodosia is made to look like her too. But, as much as I love Jasmine, I’d like to prepose an alternative casting: Ariana DeBose.

Hear me out. After having her neck snapped during You’ll be Back, Ariana, or The Bullet as the cast likes to call her, forshadows both the metephorical and physical deaths of different characters. For example, she plays Sally, who’s story ended up slaughtering Jefferson’s reputation and she plays a young girl who Philip flirts with minutes before getting shot. Now, you may ask why foreshadowing death would make her a good choice to play Burr’s daughter. And I have two reasons for this.

The first reason is that during the cut song Dear Theodosia Reprise, when Burr tells an eleven year old Theodosia that her mother has just passed away, he describes her as sort of a ghost of Theodosia senior, saying “But when you smile, I know a part of her lives on.” Even though his wife is dead, Burr is able to mourn her knowing that a piece of her is with him. And I think that’s part of why he’s so protective of her in the later parts of the show; he couldn’t save his wife, but he sure as hell can save his little girl. Which brings me to my second reason: Theodosia is the reason Burr doesn’t surrender. We all know Burr’s famous line in The World was Wide Enough, “I had only one thought before the slaughter: this man will not make an orphan of my daughter” but a lot of fans (including myself until recently) haven’t really thought about what this means. I mean, sure, every father cares about and loves their daughter (or at least, one would hope) but this thought is especially worrying to Burr. Burr was orphaned at a very young age and had to deal with life on his own. During this time, he was miserable, and the idea that his daughter might have to experience the same things he did hurts him. But it also hurts Burr because he lost his wife less than a decade beforehand. Theodosia jr, who reminds him so much of his wife and is the only piece of his soulmate that he has left, is someone who needs to be preserved and protected at all costs. Burr said it best “I’ll do whatever it takes. I’ll make the world safe and sound for you.” So, Burr shoots without hesitation, even though his instincts would tell him to “wait for it” and see if Hamilton surrendered. His daughter is just too important. Theodosia jr is the root of the cause of Hamilton’s death. She’s the only thing Burr has to remind him of his late wife. And she’s the reason Burr is so terrified of being shot. And that’s why, if her character appeared in the show, she’d be played by The Bullet. (Also side note, if somebody wants to make me fanart of Ariana as Theodosia jr...)

[sourcherrybomb]

SoKai Week 2020 - Day 1 - Paopu Surprise!

Synopsis: Sora and Kairi decide to take a breather and share a Paopu Fruit with each other. However, Sora finds himself in for an unwelcome surprise when he finally bites into one... 

Sneak Peek: Sora could only imagine the dumb look on his face. This was not going the way he imagined it. Kairi had seriously beaten him to the punch?

Tags: Romance, Comedy, All Ages, F/M

Prompt for the Day: One Heart / Paopu Fruit

Words: 1.4k

Fanart By: asgardianartist (Fiverr / Instagram)

Native to the Destiny Islands is a particularly peculiar fruit in the shape of a star. Trinkets made in its image are seen as good luck charms and are even known to people who have never stepped foot on the world. But to the residents of the Destiny Islands, the paopu fruit means so much more than just simple ‘good luck’.

If two people share one, their destinies become intertwined. They’ll remain a part of each other’s lives no matter what.

All that time ago, before their adventures and misadventures, these were the words Riku told Sora. At the time, he got flustered when his friend teased him at the idea of sharing one with Kairi. However, it’s not as though Sora had completely dismissed the idea; the day right after in their secret place, in between the space of a rough drawing of he and Kairi, Sora secretly drew a hand giving her the fruit.

It wasn’t until Sora, Donald, and Goofy defeated Ansem the Seeker of Darkness that Kairi would find out. 

Not long after the Destiny Islands were restored, Kairi found herself in the secret place. Reminiscing while looking at the myriad drawings of various quality, she stumbled upon Sora’s addition to the drawing of them. After letting a tear fall out of her eye, Kairi herself adds to the sketch her own arm extended towards Sora, paopu fruit in hand.

It’s been more than a year since those events first transpired. Sora, Kairi, and Riku are now back home on the islands before their ultimate battle. 

Sora and Kairi, bathed in the twilight of the setting sun, sit on a paopu tree while passing the time away. Riku rests himself directly on the beach below them.

Sora, noticing his friend, asks Kairi, “Hey, why’s Riku all alone?”

“He said he needed time to himself,” she notes. “Let’s let him be.”

As Sora sits distracted by his silver-haired friend staring into the sunset-lit ocean, Kairi silently strengthens her resolve. She was going to share this paopu fruit with Sora, and nothing, not even the looming thought of Riku teasing them without end after the fact. And plus, it’s not as though Sora would be against sharing it with her. There’s that drawing of them, the race he and Riku did, as well as all the things he did for her during their first adventure together. With a battle to the death at their doorstep, now would be the best time to share any thoughts or emotions that have been lingering around…

But what if Sora is just being nice?

No! Kairi thinks to herself. She knows that Sora is basically a paragon of kindness who can be a bit of a dolt sometimes… Okay, many times, but even he should be aware of what repeated acts of kindness and/or heroism do to a person!

Before Kairi goes through an entire internal debate in the span of seconds, her arm subconsciously moves towards a paopu fruit she may have secretly left there when no one was looking. Although now that she thinks about it, Riku did stop by here before heading down to the beach. He did have this smug grin on his face as he passed by the two of them...

As more and more thoughts rush through her mind, Kairi’s hand has already brought the paopu fruit in front of Sora. 

“Here!” she says. 

“Huh?” 

Sora could only imagine the dumb look on his face. This was not going the way he imagined it. Kairi had seriously beaten him to the punch? The whole reason he wanted to bring her here was so he could be the one to hand her the fruit! Now his whole plan has basically gone up into flames and can’t even bring out any words besides a simple “Huh?"

As Sora mentally reprimands himself, Kairi silently chides herself for basically shoving the fruit in his face and not coming up with a smoother way of handing it to him. 

“Tomorrow’s fight will be our toughest yet,” Kairi says as she softly smiles. “I want to be a part of your life no matter what. That’s all.”

Sora, who at this moment currently is still in panic mode due to his botched plan, can only take the paopu fruit in hand.

Wait, Sora thinks as he looks up and smiles at Kairi. I might be able to salvage this.

“Kairi, I’ll keep you safe,” he tells her.

Not to be outdone, Kairi shakes her head. “Let me keep you safe.”

Raising the fruits to each other's mouths, Sora and Kairi each take a bite from the paopu fruits. 

If only this moment could last forever, Kairi thinks as she stares into Sora’s eyes.

Oh my gosh, this tastes horrible, Sora thinks as he does his best to hide his disgust. 

The young man has never tried the fruit before today, but he expected it to taste way better than the overly saccharine mouthful he got. To Sora, it tasted like someone had used a shovel to feed him a mouthful of sugar, or maybe like drowning in Pooh’s coveted honey! As much as he wanted to swallow the fruit and get it over with, the taste was preventing him letting it pass through his mouth.

Just power through it, pretty sure the legend only says I need to take a bit out of it, not eat the whole thing, Sora continues to think to himself. Ohhhh man, I really hope Kairi doesn’t make me eat more of this.

So are we supposed to eat more of this? Kairi thinks to herself. Honestly, the legend is pretty vague. Like, are we supposed to share one or feed each other one… Legends need to be worded better. 

As she goes for another bite of the fruit, Kairi can’t help but notice Sora’s face. Is it… twitching?

“Hey Sora, you okay?” she asks. “Can’t help but notice you haven’t gone for another bite…”

Oh crud.

“Yeah, totally!” Sora says, his mouth muffled by the sickeningly sweet fruit. “Just sav-ughh… Savoring the taste!”

“Hmmm…” Kairi raises an eyebrow. “Sora, would you mind swallowing what’s in your mouth right now?”

A look of terror flashes in Sora’s eyes.

“Sorrystillchewingonthisbite,” he says in a rush. 

Covering her mouth, Kairi mischievously grins. “Oh, is that so? Well, with the way you’re talking, I think I notice room for one… more… BITE!”

Before Sora could even react, Kairi shoves her paopu fruit into his mouth faster than one could say “Sora, Donald, and Goofy.” Sora, disoriented by the vicious sneak attack, falls over and swallows the excess fruit in his mouth alongside the chewed up slop that was being kept in his cheeks. As he writhes around on the ground, not from choking, but rather the fruit’s taste, Kairi begins to laugh harder and harder until she falls from the tree they were sitting on as well.

Down on the beach, Riku and his Replica nod at each other as they silently judge Sora and Kairi making a fool of themselves, casually forgetting the small audience just a couple yards away from them.

As Sora spits out the Paopu Fruit from his mouth, Kairi somehow begins to laugh even harder at the ironically sour face on his mug.

“Oh ha ha, very funny!” Sora complains. “Next thing we know, we wouldn’t have an issue rescuing Roxas since I would’ve bitten the dust anyways!”

“And I suppose me... dying of laughter would have… woulda brought back Namine in the process as well, huh?” Kairi asks in between heavy breaths.

Soon enough, Sora stops pouting, Kairi’s breathing becomes more relaxed, and the two of them start to quietly giggle.

As the fiery sunset fades away into a cool starlit night, Riku quietly leaves the island, leaving Sora and Kairi to their own devices.

The two continued to lie on the ground, staring into the night sky, stargazing like the two would always do when they were younger. Normally, Sora would be telling Kairi stories about the stars and various constellations. However, tonight the only sounds a person could hear would be the ocean waves washing up onto the shore.

Occasionally they would turn their heads and lock eyes with each other. Both had so many things to say to one another, but it was like no amount of words in the world could be used to convey their feelings and emotions.

However, neither person saw this as a problem. Whenever Sora or Kairi had something to say, but didn’t have the words, they would just tighten their grip on the other’s hand.

---

Hello there, the name’s SourCherryBomb and this little oneshot is the start of a return to form for me. I’ve written under a different name years before, but I’ve decided to wipe the slate clean. It’s for many reasons, the main one being that I cringe when I look at my old works. That’s just growth, I guess.

Shoutout to the Sokai: Destined Oath Discord server for introducing me to the SoKai Week 2020 Event and an even louder one to @paintedwithapalette​ for being my Beta Reader! Check her out, you’ll love her fics.

Thanks for Reading!

[thewebcomicsreview]

It’s Homestuck’s birthday, which means another Homestuck 2 update.

Man, trying to have something exciting for Homestuck fans happen on 4/13 has been really slick marketing, because it gets everyone excited and you see an increase in fanart. I couldn’t tell you what, say, Penny Arcade or Gunnerkrigg Court’s anniversaries were, but every Homestuck fan knows the importance of 413 because it’s built into the story itself.

Anyway, here’s Janey, and here’s Jake wearing a shirt that you can either buy now or will be able to buy soon. Marketing.

JANE: Assassinations, open warfare, so-called "revolution," and where has everyone gone? JANE: They've ABANDONED me. They've taken our precious son. And now...

That’s not really true, Jane. Your friends haven’t abandoned you while people try to kill you! Your friends are also actively trying to kill you! 

It’s a decent joke, but how the hell are Steven King novels even a thing on this planet? Maybe Rose had some.

DIRK: I'm slurping this shit up like it's a piping hot bowl of udon. DIRK: Itadakimasu.

Homestuck 2′s Dirk is dramatically more of a filthy fucking weeb than Dirk was in the original Homestuck, and that’s a high fucking bar.

JANE: Two can play at the hostage game. That loathsome daughter of theirs should fit the bill nicely. JANE: Then those naughty rebels will cease this unruly tantrum, and do what they are told.

This is another instance of Homestuck 2 sanding down the whole “civil war” thing that I didn’t even think about until they called attention to it. Vrissy is not only a member of the rebellion, her adoptive parents are commanders who the God-Empress of Mankind personally hates, and she just kind of casually went to human high school with her only concern being the dead clown and apparently she is only now in any danger.

Oh, this is cool! A wide panel with two separate dialogs underneath! I had to admit I was kind of hoping for an anniversary [S], but I’m happy with a twist on the standard format. It looks nicer than the x2 updates from Homestuck 1, too.

VRISKA: 8ecause there's no way I'm saying Harry Anderson every time. That's like... 8 whole letters too long. VRISKA: From now on your name is just Harry. HARRY: o... k?

Hm. First Vriska Classic renames the new Vriska to Vrissy, and now Harry Anderson has been demoted to Harry. I sense a pattern, and suspect “Tavros Crocker” will not be called such much longer. 

Also, stealing people’s names like that seems very Thief of Light-y, but let’s not get into that just now, even if the last update hinted at a connection between Harry and Heart, which is all about identity. I’m doing this liveblog during my lunch break no time for classpect shit.

VRISKA: If I had to 8et, I'd say you're the thing that pup8ed after a 8ar8aric act of human sexual intercourse 8etween John and some Lalonde or other. HARRY: ok. HARRY: ew.

Hm. Vriska knows Harry’s last name is Egbert, but it’s interesting that she assumes his mom is a Lalonde and not one of the literal planet full of human women, but no one in Homestuck seems to care about the NPC humans so it’s a safe bet. Also I don’t like how hard we’re pushing the line that Harry came out of a person’s vagina and not some slime. I’m suspish.

VRISKA: There WERE no humans on Alternia, okay? There were no humans, and no human "musicals", in my entire UNIVERSE. HARRY: it sounds like a horrible place. ): VRISKA: Yeah, it 8lew so un8elieva8ly hard.

Heh.

But now he's not so sure. Ever since hearing that one of his dad's old friends had turned up, that border between past and present has felt fainter by the minute. And as they talk, he begins to think that Vriska seems so much... fresher. More real. An actual, authentic, bona fide god from another universe. Harry can’t imagine his dad even talking to someone like her, let alone punching her in the face.

One of those file-it-away-for-later moments, but Harry is able to sense that the canon Vriska is “more real” than his dad. 

HARRY: right now i'm in my mom's house with my girlfriend, her boyfriend, and another god damn version of my girlfriend, and all of us are probably now on the run from the fucking GOVERNMENT!!!!

Though he also seems to think Vriska Serket and Vrissy Maryam-Lalonde are alternate versions of each other, which is actually not true, both literally and personalityways.

Harry is not even able to mention the thing he was about to mention, because at this exact moment his phone starts ringing.

BECAUSE JELLICLES CAN AND JEEEEEEELLICLES DO JELLICLES DO AND JELLICLES CAN JELLICLES CAN AND JEEEEEELLICLES

HARRY: oh fuck.

I think Harry Egbert has the worst taste of anyone in his family and that’s a high fucking bar

VRISSY: It's Something about the W8y she Looks at him. VRISSY: The Rest of us too. VRISSY: Like we're not even Real. TAVROS: Yes,, this is good, VRISSY: Ever since she showed up, it's 8een o8vious that Nothing Here M8tters to her.

Another, much more obvious reference to the realness attribute of Candyland. 

VRISSY: I'm not worried a8out Harry Fucking 8nderson right now! VRISSY: Hell, I'm so Unconcerned that I think I'm going to start just calling him Harry from now on! It'll Save Everyone a lot of Valua8le Time! VRISSY: Listen Tavros, Vriska will get 8ored of Harry in a Heart8eat! VRISSY: That's the whole point!!!!!!!! VRISSY: She shouldn't 8e w8sting her Time on someone like Him! VRISSY: SHE SHOULD BE T8LKING T8 ME!!!!!!!!

That both Vriskas decide separately to demote Harry Anderson to Harry is a funny gag. Also, between this and the start of the conversation where Vrissy was obsessed with how she appeared on social media, someone needs to be the most important person in the room at all times, which is a trait both Vriska’s have in common with each other, and also in a way with Aranea, so there’s perhaps a classpect aspect to this but we don’t have time for that! 

JOHN: HELLO SON! JOHN: I AM JOHN: SO JOHN: VERY JOHN: PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!!

There it is

JOHN: heh. two vriskas is NOTHING. JOHN: when i was your age i lost count of all the vriskas i had to keep track of. JOHN: it was probably some preposterous number.

I’m pretty sure John never encountered any alternative-timeline Vriskas in Homestuck.

Hey, it’s Rose and Kanaya!

Individually, they each represent immeasurable gains for the rebel faction. The rebellion's stratagems have never had a fiercer bite; their uniforms have never looked so fucking sharp.  But it is together, united, that their true strength is made apparent. Their bond, a union of love between troll and human, is not only a foundation for the rebel cause, but an integral symbol of its purpose.    

D’aw

ROSE: I don't understand what's going on any more than you do, and I'm sorry. ROSE: I'm sorry!

Rose panicking like this feels....weird?

I like the detail of Jade’s pawprint gloves. Also, she seems to have gained a headband as Rose lost hers. Only one hair accessory allowed in this comic, this ain’t no fucking Touhou.

JADE: THEYVE TAKEN YIFFY!!!!!!! D:

Oh thank Christ, no one knows what the fuck Jade is talking about. For a minute there I thought we were about to learn Jade and Dave had a daughter named Yiffy and I was about to walk into the sea. 

[dollkastleinfo]

Dollzkastle

This is a blog dedicated to fans of the dollzkastle

To answer some Questions that you may have for myself or the dolls~ 🎀

I am going off of the questions I’ve been asked for years or even the new ones I’ve been getting since I’ve created a Tiktok~ I hope this answers your questions you’re looking for, now let’s begin 🐮

Myself Behind the dolls; my name is Decklynn but people call me Dk or Deck. I am an Agender with He and Him pronouns. I am a little with a caregiver/ daddy and I am a pet owner of 3 Kitties. I do both makeup and Doll art. I am a twenty something year old adult who’s been into crafting and customizing Dolls since I was a child. I am also an artist and got interested in drawing at a young age so I already had the type of skill to Draw on things and recreate facial hair and all types of stuff like this. I went to collage and majored in art while living at home with my parents who were Both Transphobic and Homophobic but also Abuse I’ve endured since a young age, physical, mental ive developed a great deal of mental health problems That even now I am being diagnosed and treated for. With an alcoholic parent and upon my mental health problems and living in a terrible environment that was life long I left home and left school and started my own life with my fiancé One day my fiancé was online and seen Big dolls that looked realistic and those dolls I was so fascinated by. I have never seen anything like them and to make a big 3D version of my ocs and crafting just sound like a dream come true. So I did it! I bought my very first BJD 600$ and I never regretted that. I wanted this one because I just fell Inlove with him. I know you’re thinking 600$!? That’s crazy but it literally is worth every penny when you put your heart and soul into a project it’s like your favorite anime character but you create them and you style them, that’s the best way I think I can put it.drawing on them is not as easy as other may think, you can be a phenomenal artist but still lack the skill to paint on them so it took me years to build the skill I have now. I am still learning 🤍🐮My first dolls unboxing is on YouTube under Octoberv12 ~ if you’re interested in just a little photo video of that time it seems like now, forever ago. My dolls gained huge popularity in 2018 on Instagram where there is a page I’ve dedicated to fanart and cosplays if you just #dollzkastlefanart on Instagram you will find them. I’ve taken a big break from them and left my old account behind to start a fresh and new one in 2020 till a month ago that’s when I decided to join Tiktok. I’ve been doing little music clips of the dolls for a while so I thought you guys would Enjoy them too 💓🐮

Questions and answers ?

Where are you from? New York

What websites are you on?

YouTube I have the dolls playlists individually. I put a lot of effort and energy into their characters they all have stories, music playlists and even avatars and their own accounts on Social media sites.

I am on Instagram under Dollzkastle, myDollzkastle, Decklynnkastle, Decklynnkastlee, omridurr, Acydfei, Princethedoll, Rjeaii, Dollzkastlefanart, Xeroyandere, milesophelia, crysky1, miloscenebabyxo,flowerboyrose, & itsmamamikki & Jasphire.vu

On Fb under Decklynn kastle or Milo Ryo

On Tiktok decklynn kastle or Dollzkastle

On Imvu Decklynnkastle, ivanx3, jeninsai, crackheadsymbols, charleta123, oaklynn10, jasphirexx, romanjackjrs, charleta1, Gemini953005, Milesawayfromyliife, BinxLemment, miloscenebaby, yandereboi7, Princethedoll1, acydfei, royal461349, KandyKimmy, mama13708, thyunderbolt1, ezratheomen

On Tumblr @dollzkastle @acydslitterbox

@ezratheomen , @mamamikki there are more but I’m not too active on tumblr right now

Email? @decklynnkastle@gmail.com or @dollzkastle@gmail.com

Do you sell your dolls? No I do not they’re my babies and I put a lot of work into their characters and I am emotionally attached to each of them. I have sold some that I didn’t bond well with.

What do you use to paint on them? I use acrylic paint, soft pastels, water color pencils, graphite, acrylic gloss and sealer. Doll eyelashes, little craft hoops and balls for piercings and craft tiny beads for jewlary. I use yarn sometimes for their hair but other times I purchase their hair online. Sometimes I draw them tattoos and sometimes I use Temp tattoos.

Do you do commissions? I do commissions for people who need work done to their own BJDs like faceups, hair or blush and nail art. I don’t buy dolls to work on to sell but in the future I’d like to do that. It’s an expensive hobby so get your pockets ready. My faceups are 60$ but for something really advanced it will be 80$ plus shipping charges. Nail art is 5$, blush is 10$ wigs are 25$ I’ve had people ask if they could buy the doll send them to my address instead of their home, I work on them and then send them to that person but you have to remember there is money involved and I mean lots of it so if you’re buying a 300$ doll via through me to a website you have to be willing to also pay me for putting this doll together which we can talk about via email the price. I will be able to hook you up with feedback located on Instagram under my thread “Dollzkastle” where you can see some of the items I’ve sold or commissions I’ve done and my customers I’ve had.

The quickest way to reach me is via Instagram on Decklynn kastle 🐮💗

What are the dolls made out of ?

Resin. I know there are vinyl bJDs out there but mine are just made out of resin~ 🍭🤍

So if you don’t sell your dolls, where do I get one ?? On BJD websites but be aware of scams or Recasts also which are usually cheaper and too good to be true prices. I’ve had my fair share in mistakes with this in the beginning after my first Doll. Do lots of research on YouTube to learn more. Recasts are heavily looked down upon in the hobby and people tend to stay away from and not talk about them because they are a problem to the hobby and create damage by taking an artists work and selling them for much cheaper. You will not get head plates or certificate or authenticity cards or an original Box. They tend to be much smaller then an originalwitj seam lines and sometimes they’re easy to spot so just save your coins and go legit, Support the artists. I do not bully people but others will. Some official Bjd cheap websites are thejunkyspot, Angel of dream, mystic kids, migidoll, Alicecollections, bobobie, withdoll, littleRebel, littlemonica, supiadoll and crobidolls and so many more just do some research y’all find them. If you have that type of money or want to save then check, Hummingdolly, dollshe, Soom, Doll chateau, dream valley, Iplehouse, Dikadoll, iOS (immortality of soul) distantmemory (the BTS dolls are from here I know a lot of you like BTS I am a Kpopper myself lol) and there’s just so so much more just type Bjd websites and y’all find a ton~ I just kinda remembered these at the top of my head. Lol 🐮💕

So where do you get clothes and accessories from?! Some are from EBay, Etsy, Amazon. Some are form people on IG who sell first come first served or little shops that don’t have a big name or anything that I just run into who happen to be selling what I want or need for a doll. I don’t make my own eyes but others do I get mine either commissioned or on the websites I just stated. Some stuff are handmade like wigs and clothing I do sometimes make those. You just have to know the size of your doll and their eye measurements and head measurements. 💗🐮

💜🍼Prince and his paci? The girl who sold them I bought two and she stopped selling them I’m currently looking myself for some Bigger doll pacis.

💕How big are your dolls? They’re as big as a toddler but much thinner. Some 3 feet and some a bit smaller but they’re large dolls sometimes people don’t realize that 🐮🤍 you can by a variety of diff sizes like MSD (1/4 30cm ranges) SD (1/3 60-75 cm range) SD uncle 80+ and Yosd (smaller 20cm or smaller range) I might be a little off but it’s because I only purchase the bigger ones I don’t have much interest in smaller currently.

Is it okay if I cosplay or draw or use anything from you for a project or anything like that? Just let me know or tag me 🌸💜🍭 I love seeing recreations in your art style.

Can I send the dolls gifts or things?

Someone is making my dolls currently clothes from their clothing line and I am so excited for this!! Over the years some of the dolls have been greatfully gifted things or given things and it just makes my heart melt so of course you can! Just Message me Via Decklynn kastle on IG to let me give you some info🤍💕💗🐮

I will be back to continue filling this out if I get more questions I haven’t already answered 💕🤍🐮 I hope I answered some for you! 🍭🌸 thank you for being lovely & have a great day!

[ninjakitty15]

Chapter 5: A Basic Witch (Loki x OFC Pairing)

"So archery, huh? Let me guess, you were born in the wrong century."

Clint glanced back at me while flying Tony's "borrowed" flying thing I wasn't quite sure was a plane or jet. "You might actually be worse than Tony with those quips of yours."

"You love it really," I teased.

"Love is a strong word, I tolerate it...moreso with a raise."

I cackled. "They not paying you enough to put up with me? Gotta feed the kids somehow though, right? Have you thought about being a hooker, they're always hiring."

"Do you want him to shoot you?" asked Loki though he had a smirk on the entire time I was bugging Clint.

"I could keep talking but then I took an arrow to the knee," I jested. "Not quite the ring I was hoping for there."

"You know, I read about you people," Clint commented.

"What do you mean 'you people'?"

"Necromancers. Don't you normally require certain things to do what you do? Google images suggest you need a staff at the very least."

I snorted but also took out my new smartphone Tony was nice enough to give me and looked up what people thought necromancers looked like, allowing Loki to see what I see as well. "We also apparently only wear black attire and wear bone jewelry. Really? That's still a stereotype? Bone jewelry? Okay some voodoo practitioners might wear that for shock value but it doesn't have any real purpose and more important is super fucking tacky. We're already made of bones, why do we need more and why wear them on the outside if we need more, they're brittle as fuck, especially if they're old. This is where you got your info from, Clint?"

"Not exclusively," he tried to recover.

"So I'm expected to wear the least practical attire and accessories all time? You any idea how much I stick out looking like Skeletor's little sister here without wearing all black all time while dragging some long metal or wood staff like I'm Sarumon summoning orcs against Rohan. Sure I might blend in well enough at night in all black but the stealth is gone with all the bone jewelry rattling with each movement. Let's just throw some chains in there too, I'm sure they won't see me coming then. Seriously, who comes up with this bullshit? When you caught Loki, did you ask if he gave birth to a horse too?"

"You don't think I did?" Loki responded in amusement while snatching my phone and scrolling through all the depictions of what people thought I'd look like.

"From what I'm told, your adoptive father is too arrogant and vain to ride a horse you created."

"Clever girl. You are correct, that is a myth created to deface me more than they already have. Surprisingly he didn't ask me anything, too busy plotting my death after I got in his head."

"Someone's a sore loser," I mused under my breath so only Loki could hear me. "We there yet? And did you find any actual facts about 'my people' or just what the internet told you?"

"We're nearly there....and I'll let you know when I do," Clint muttered.

"We used to need instruments like a staff or something to be fair," I told Loki quietly. "But they are an eyesore for everyone and can easily get lost, stolen, or broken so we adapted and found another way to channel power. You need three things typically, well two now but at one point it was a staff to channel, a jewel to draw from and collect, and a blade to end it all."

"You don't have any of those though, do you? You were found with just what they told you to wear and what powers you had in you. They didn't..."

"You need to be a necromancer to even know what to do with those three let alone wield them for their intended purpose but no, never had a staff for obvious and previously listed reasons. My blade is kept hidden until I need it which thus far I haven't, as for the jewel...that's hidden elsewhere as well." I stopped at a fanart pic of a necromancer wearing all three items in an over the top armored black robe surrounded by bones. "Well that's just pretentious. Who goes around wearing everything they need to gain the upper hand out for all to see?"

"What about that one? I could see you wearing that," Loki purred, pointing to one necromancer woman wearing a cloak and more or less a black leather bikini while raising a skull above her.

"I bet you could, I wouldn't be caught living in that, nice try."

"Alright, we're here as requested, everyone out of my jet," Clint called back to us.

I opened my mouth to point out it was once again Tony's plane but Loki just held up a hand and shook his head, sometimes it was better to just roll with it. "You've damaged his ego enough, let him dream a little." The plane landed in a park that had been conveniently shut off from the public, probably Tony's doing and we hopped out. I took one long deep breath and smiled at scent of fresh salty sea air and a little bit more. Loki stepped out behind me, in his ironically all black suit in place of armor or leisure robes but he didn't seem to stick out in them, just rocked them like a death metal band, hardcore.

"You feel that?" I murmured under my breath so Clint wouldn't know what we were talking to.

"You're right, there is something otherworldly about this place, something strong but subtle."

"Alright you two, I'll be watching you but won't get in your way unless I have to, go and explore Salem," Clint informed us.

I grinned and lead Loki into the heart of witch city. I took him to all my favorite little shops, both the tourist traps and the legit ones where wiccan things are sold, to some of the museums, explained more of the city's history and how it became a safe haven for those with magic in their blood. Eventually we stopped by where the final resting place of the victims were, the memorial stones that often had fresh flowers resting on so they'd never be forgotten. It was empty beside myself, Loki, and the dead so I dropped to my knees then in front of the small stone gated graveyard, my hands digging into the ground to feel for any unrest and breathed out. Let those who linger rest easy and those with unrest tell me how I can help. My eyes shot open completely white as the unquiet spirits came forward. I could feel Loki watching me from where he stood some feet back but kept my attention to the unseen souls asking for peace. When I did all I could for them, my eyes faded back to their normal murky color and I slowly stood up and brushed myself off, signalling Loki to walk over and beside me.

"All of these people were innocent?" he asked me quietly.

"This wasn't about actual magic, this was about fear and power, this is what you get when you mix religion and politics, the innocent burn while the guilty rises."

"And now people celebrate here what their ancestors were accused of."

"I like to think of it as saying fuck you, we are the children of witches you didn't burn."

"Brilliant," he breathed out. "You're right, I do like this place already."

"Of course I'm right, I'm always right, the sooner you accept it, the happier we'll both be for it."

Loki chuckled but didn't disagree. "When did you find out about this place?"

"As a kid, everyone's taught about the Salem Witch Trials in school, we were then driven there for a field trip like this to see for ourselves. There's many places of magic in America, but this is my absolute favorite place ever. This is my home." I paused mid stroll, took a deep breath in, closed my eyes and opened my arms, welcoming the wonders of witch city.

"Do you hear a high pitched squealing noise?" murmured Loki while watching me embrace my inner witch.

I didn't get a chance to reply as I was suddenly knocked several feet to the side and off my own feet by a pair of boobs with arms attached them engulfing me. "You're alive!" a familiar voice cried in joy.

"Not for much longer if you keep that up," I grumbled, stumbling back onto my feet and straightening up to meet a more familiar face. I was then hugged again and then roughly shaken around almost angrily. "Not everything you love is a fucking cocktail, stop shaking me!"

"Where the hell have you been, woman? We all thought you were killed off or burnt yourself out like the ones that went missing! You left without warning, no calls, no texts, not even a damned email I would've accepted, not a damned thing!" the tall Louisianan woman shaking me around exclaimed.

"Would you believe I was away on business?"

"Your business is here, try again."

"Attacked by ninjas?"

"This ain't feudal Japan."

"Chuck Norris with a bbgun?"

She just glared at me with her hands on her hips tapping a foot impatiently.

"Hydra got me midflight back home."

"Fo realz? How'd they know?"

"Someone had to have tipped them off, I used my aliases the entire time, kept low profile, all that jazz."

She had to sigh and drop the frown in acceptance and squeezed me hard again. "It has been soooo boring without you causing trouble around here, are you back for good?"

I picked up the frown she dropped and shook my head sadly. "Day trip, didn't get out of Hydra on my own, out of the fire and into the frying pan."

"By who?"

I glance back at Loki who was closely watching the two of us, not sure if she was friend or foe to him and the team. "Avengers plus one."

"So that's why it's been boring, you took all the fun with you and didn't think to share, as always."

"Bitch I ain't your source of entertainment, get your own damn rescue team."

"Sharing is caring."

"Do you see the care on my face?"

"I missed your face, can you believe that? I got addicted to IZombie just so I could see someone that looked like you."

"Not the first show I got you hooked on, I regret nothing there."

"Your face though..." she now turned her attention to the god watching from the sidelines. "You're not from around these parts, are you?"

"Where I'm from has been completely destroyed," he replied stiffly.

"Didn't you try to take New York City ages back?"

Before Loki could defend himself, I decided to step in. "Let she who is without a body count, cast the first stone."

"What? I'm not judging, I don't like NYC either but you are the same guy right? God of mischief and alien invasions?"

"I might be," Loki spoke up. "And who are you that seems to know Nell so well."

"I'm her best friend, Zari."

Something clicked in my head about what she said moment earlier then and before more introductions were made, I spoke up. "Hold up, they burnt out?"

Zari blinked and recalled what I brought up and arched an eyebrow. "When they were found they were shells and around their remains was all dead, that has to be it, they burnt out like overrused acid leaking batteries."

"All of the missing?" I murmured.

"All except you...what are you thinking?"

"My zombie senses are tingling. This doesn't feel like a coincidence, that's doesn't feel like an accident either. How many of us are left?"

"A fourth of what we started as."

"We're becoming an endangered species."

"You always wanted to be a tiger as a kid, now you got something in common with them besides a body count."

I scowled or attempted to, I did love tigers after all. "Hunted to near extinction wasn't what I had in mind."

She snickered and glanced at the amused god before returning her attention back to me. "So here for today at least, you show him all the cool places I hope."

I pretended to look offended and held a hand to my chest. "It's like you don't know me at all."

"Either way, there's a few places you missed that I'm sure you'd love to see," she nudged me with a wicked look in her eyes and I instantly knew what she meant.

"By all means, lead the way."

She took us to a small cafe she worked at that actually had a hidden passage way underneath the kitchen and leading to the Hawthorne Hotel, away from Clint's prying eyes for once so we all settled down in a nice suite permanently reserved under Zari's name. There we caught up and explained stuff to Loki we trusted him but not the Avengers with...for reasons. Zari was actually more a witch or voodoo priestess, not as powerful or naturally gifted as a necromancer but still pretty damn dangerous with her own form of death magic.

"Barton probably called in the cavalry in our absence," Loki muttered. "We should return to the open before the Avengers ruin the day again."

"We probably should, would hate for them to ruin my happy place. We should go somewhere public and totally open so they look like idiots before they yell at us though," I suggested.

"That can be arranged easy enough, well done. Zari, it has been a pleasure."

"Look after her, Loki. And Nell...don't let the bastards get you down," she reminded me.

I grinned. "Nevah." I took Loki's outstretched hand once more and green mist swirled around us before we popped up by a bench looking out at the sea by the Waterfront Hotel. I smiled again and didn't let go of his hand, I could feel the ocean then, feel the sun, the sea, everything that drew me to it before I died. "Some day," I murmured.

Loki gave my hand a squeeze and didn't let go as well but kissed the top of it. "I'll make sure of it. Here they come."

Right on cue, Clint followed by Nat and slightly annoyed Steve jogged over to us, all looking different shades of unhappy. We both turned and looked at them innocently while Clint breathed a sign of relief, Nat just rolled her eyes at us, but of course the do-gooder Steve looked like a father about to reprimand his child for sneaking out the window after being grounded.

"You know, while we were hunting you down, I gotta say, this place has its charms," Nat noted.

"Of course it does, can't be a witch without some," I informed her. "Who here likes seafood?"

Steve opened his mouth most likely to lecture me on staying in sight but bless Clint for thinking with his stomach after a long boring day of watching me and Loki frolic around town. His hand shot up almost as fast as his arrows shoot forward so I led the little team to the Oyster Bar by the Waterfront. "Ah food, my second favorite four letter F word."

Eventually it was time to return to homebase as the gang led us back to the jet and I found myself surprisingly worn out from the day of fun, leaning against Loki on the ride back. I found myself too tired to walk out myself when we landed and Loki immediately scooped me up and carried me out of the jet and into the main building himself. My eyes got heavier each second but somehow I could still hear what was going on.

"Clint tells me he lost sight of you two for a bit, you care to explain that?" Tony was demanding.

"Do I care to? Not really since you asked. He got distracted by one of the local performing street witches most likely, did you know theres one going around in full witch garb on rollerblades? Very amusing to say the least," Loki replied smoothly.

"Oh I'm aware Salem is full of weirdoes."

"Which is exactly why you weren't invited, you boring old fart," I muttered, burying my head against Loki's chest to try and drown out their voices only for Loki to laugh against me.

"Don't you take that tone with me, young lady," mused Tony. "I'll have you know I've been voted the world's most interesting man many times."

"And Trump's been voted for president, votes here don't mean shit so you're bragging rights right now are kinda in the crapper."

"Go back to sleep."

I turned to face him in Loki's arms just to stick my tongue out but curled back into Loki after. "Have a good night, don't let the zombies bite."

[junosartsthetic]

Hey hey since you're bored here are some questions for you : What's ur fav part in jjba? What's ur favorite Stand? Hamon or Stands? What's ur opinions on Josuke's hairstyle Could you rank the Jojos in from the one you like most (Jonathan) to the one you like less

Well thank you! I love answering questions!

My favorite part would have to be part 3 because that’s when I became well and truly obsessed with jjba. Also my #1 husband Pol is in that part so I might be a little biased.

My favorite stand, hmm, well I love Silver Chariot (I wonder why...) and Magician’s Red. Their vibes are on point. Also i like birbs.

Hamon or stands? Umm, well I love stands and the idea behind them but I don’t like the fact that hamon is never mentioned again :/ So I would have to say stands, but only because we know more and they are more versatile. 

Okay, I love the IDEA behind Josuke’s hair. He is tryna honor the man that saved him (which looks suspiciously like him but we don’t address that, shhhh). But the reality is... it’s not great. I would never insult it (for OBVIOUS reasons), but to be honest I HATED it when I first started part 4. As I continued it grew on me and now I don’t mind it, especially the different art styles its shown in in fanart. But yeah, messy hair Josuke just hits different. I love him to death, though.

Oh boy, my gf and I talked about ranking them the other day.

First place is Johnathan, I love him and his pure heart and bravery and hesitation to kill someone he viewed as his own brother, despite their rocky past together. He’s just such a genuine and kind soul trying his best. He also isn’t afraid to show his emotions, even the ‘pathetic’ and ‘weak’ ones society deems when shown by a man. He didn’t deserve to die so young, and I wish we got to see more of him, being that he literally started this whole series. 

Second place is Johnny. Despite his wheelchair-bound state, he still has the determination to continue living on. He is passionate and hot-headed and not afraid to put people in their place. He’s such a complex character. He has a troubled past that he can’t quite escape from, and his drive is insane. He often puts himself down but isn’t giving up. He clings to hope and its inspiring.

Third place is Jolyne. She saves her father instead of escaping despite their past. She is so caring and strong at the same time. The people she meets in prison become her family, and this part was probably the part where I felt the most towards the main character when it came to emotions. She was relatable. She was a wreck who masturbated in prison and put all her trust in a person who just betrayed her. She felt the most ‘real’, I guess. Like someone you’d meet in the street. Also, the fact that she was female didn’t stop her. She was rough and rowdy and crude and made me smile. Most women I see in media are not portrayed well. Jolyne is someone I could be friends with. 

Fourth place is Josuke. I love his trust in his friends and his attitude about things. He can be so kind and such a dork but also be scary as hell. The reason he’s in forth isn’t because I have any major issues with him, it’s just that there’s nothing I particularly like about him that stands out. 

Fifth place is Joseph. He’s got a fun to watch personality. I liked him better in part 3 though to be honest. He cares about his daughter and his grandson and it’s really sweet. He still cracks jokes and such despite his age. I just-- I can’t get passed the whole cheating on his wife thing. Like, it was such an awful and out-of-character thing that I’m still surprised thinking about it. In part 4, when he was out with Josuke and taking care of the baby, that’s when I made the decision to ignore the cheating completely. It annoyed me THAT much tbh. Because he’s such a CARING person and literally almost DIED to save the invisible baby in the lake, and thinking about him doing something so selfish and self-serving and wrong just, eww. So he’d be higher but uhh, I don’t praise cheaters. 

Sixth place is Giorno. It’s not that I don’t like him, I just don’t remember his personality. I was so caught up in the other characters that I forgot he was supposed to be the main protagonist. Nothing sticks out about him to me, so I can’t really say much. I still love him, though. I just love a lot of the other JoJos more.

Seventh place is Jotaro. Look, I still love him, but during part 3 his mannerisms and attitude made an impression on me that I can’t shake. He’s rude. Yes, I know he really does care and such, but I just can’t relate to him. I wear my heart on my sleeve, so when he insults his mother and random strangers I get irked. In the next parts he’s shown in he milds out, but I don’t approve of his initial personality. 

[I haven’t read part 8 yet]

If you all would like to have discourse and arguments about this with me, go for it, but keep it civil please. These are just my opinions and it’s all fictional. You can like and dislike whoever you want. Also this was mostly ranting and I didn’t proof read so there are probably mistakes.

[tiny-anxious-mess]

Dress to Impress

Summary: It’s date night for Logan and Roman. Logan searches for something to wear and instead finds a dress, some self-doubt, and a whole lot of love. (Human AU) 

Pairings: Logan/Roman, Logince 

Warnings: A few swears, kissing (though its nothing heated or anything), and some self-doubt and insecurity from Logan 

Notes: second story!! thank you for all of the lovely comments on my first story, every single one makes my day! this fic was inspired by all the lovely fanart ive seen of all the different sides in dresses and i felt like writing something romantic so who better to pair logan with than the prince himself? haha hope yall enjoy this! 

***

It wasn’t that Logan was nervous, he was just... hesitant.

It was date night and a date might entail looking good. Roman would say that Logan always looked good, but you couldn’t fault Logan for putting in an effort.

But tonight was different. 

There was a meteor shower tonight and Logan wasn’t about to miss a second of it. Roman had tried to surprise him by scheduling their monthly date night on that night, but Logan was already one step ahead. He had a picnic basket and everything.

The night wasn’t the problem; he wasn’t hesitating because of the night or the date or the anything.

It was internal. He knew that; he had enough self-awareness for that, no matter his struggle with other such emotions.

He wanted to be comfortable for the night. They would be there long and it was supposed to be a warm night. And so he looked through his wardrobe and looked and looked and looked and—

Here was his problem.

Right in front of his was a dress.

It didn’t come as a surprise to him to find it; he had bought it himself ages ago, though he never had the right chance to wear it. But tonight presented to perfect opportunity to wear it.

And therein lied the catch.

It wasn’t that he was insecure or that he didn’t have the confidence to wear the dress out, it was just that... well, he had never worn something like it out with Roman.

Playing around with his clothing was nothing new—college had been an exciting time to mess around with it all. But as he grew a few years older, it was something that fell to the side. He dressed practically and appropriately depending on the situation. He rarely, for lack of a better term, dressed up just because he wanted to.

But now there was the dress and the date and Logan didn’t know what to do.

It’d be easy just to slip it on and go out. It was nothing fancy, just a short-sleeved sundress. It was practical, he told himself as he picked it up. It’s going to be warm out and this is nice and light and—it’s practical.

He didn’t understand why he was so hesitant. He wasn’t afraid of what other people said, he wasn’t afraid of himself. He just...

Roman had never seen him in a dress.

Hell, Roman had never seen him in anything other than pants and a shirt, what he normally wore. He had never seen the photos of Logan and Virgil, an old college friend, in drag for that one night after finals. He had never seen the makeup Logan kept in a bag in his bottom desk drawer. He had never seen Logan as anything other than Logan.

Not that he wouldn’t be Logan in the dress; of course he’d still be Logan. He’d just be Logan in a dress and that... that made him hesitate.

He won’t hate you for this, Logan reminded himself. There’s no reason to think that he would so don’t think about it. He loves you now and so he’ll love you tonight, dress or not. It’s illogical to think of the negative outcomes. You can’t predict the future; or at least, none of his past behavior is relevant; he’s given no indicators that he might react negatively to you in a dress.

Logan sighed heavily, squeezing the dress in his hands. He placed it down and reached for his phone, sitting down on the edge of his bed.

He pulled up Virgil’s contact.

Me: Virgil, sorry if I am interrupting something, but once you get the chance, remind what is the breathing technique you use to calm yourself down. I am... in need of some assistance.

Virgil: Nah you’re not interrupting anything b. I use the 4-7-8 breathing thing but it could be different for you. nothing is exactly guaranteed to work for any single person

Me: Thank you.

Virgil: Is everything alright? you’re usually the one helping me with breathing

Me: I am fine, just... I’m second-guessing myself and it is unnecessary. I simply need to ground myself for a moment.

Virgil: what are you nervous about?

Me: I’m not nervous, just hesitant.

Virgil: sure Jan, talk to me

Me: Mm. I just. Roman and I are going to the open field down the street for the meteor shower. I was looking for what to wear, seeing as it's supposed to be warm tonight, and came across a dress I bought a few months ago. I think it’s practically that I wear it but I. I’m being ridiculous and am second-guessing myself.

Virgil: Oh okay well relax roman is gonna drop dead when he sees you in the dress, its the blue one yeah?

Me: Yes. And I am perfectly relaxed. I am cool. I am chilled.

Virgil: why must you torture me this way?

Me: I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about.

Virgil: how the hell can you sound smug through text?? anyway roman will adore the dress and you and if he doesn't, ill fight him

Me: Violence is not necessary but the intent behind the action is much appreciated, Virgil. Thank you.

Virgil: no problem man, text me if you need anything or a hitman!!

Me: You’ve been hanging out with Remus, haven’t you?

Virgil: only when I'm willing to risk my sanity!!!!!!

Logan sighed again, putting down his phone. It was pointless to torture himself any further.

He stood up, grabbing the dress once again and moving towards the bathroom. 

Time to get dressed.

***

Logan and Roman arrived separately. Roman had to drive home from work and then to the field. Logan was already there, ten minutes early, with the picnic basket, blanket, telescope, books, and journal for the night.

He sat on the blanket, tugging on the hem of the dress. It would be fine, he told himself. He had nothing to worry about other than getting mauled by a bear.

He rolled his eyes at himself. God, now I sound like Virgil.

He shook his head, forcing himself to shake off his doubts. It would be fine, it was just him and Roman and the stars. He didn’t need to think about anything else.

And yet when he saw Roman’s car pull up next to his a few yards away, his heartbeat quickened.

Logan breathed in—one, two, three, four—held it—one, two, three, four, five, six, seven—and then out—one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

He stood, smoothing down his dress, and began towards Roman.

The man in question got out of his car, a bouquet of flowers in hand. Logan was able to identify roses, primroses, and red camellias. It was a rather beautiful arrangement; Logan could tell Roman had done it himself. He always insisted on carrying out his romantic gestures on his own.

Roman beamed when he saw Logan but it wasn’t until he used the flashlight on his phone that he reacted.

He paused then fully stopped. His mouth gaped, lips apart in an “o” formation. The flowers previously held closer up to his chest fell with his hand, now held loosely by his side.

Logan bit the inside of his cheek and reached up to readjust his glasses. He cleared his throat, saying, “Hi.”

God, “Hi”? Really, that’s all I can think of?

“H-Hi,” Roman stuttered. Even in the darkness, Logan could see the color in his cheeks, at the bridge of his nose.

“Ready?” Logan asked, wishing to fill the silence. 

Roman blinked multiple times, eyes flickering over Logan before he swallowed and nodded. “I-I, um, yeah--yes! Yes, I’m ready!” he exclaimed, cheeks flushing fully this time. Then he paused and thrusted out the flowers. “Here! They’re for you! Of course, they’re for you; I didn’t exactly plan on doing anything else tonight and even if I was, I certainly wouldn’t be getting them flowers. Unless it was someone like my mom or mama, or--” 

Logan walked forward, took the flowers, and kissed him. 

Roman followed with no hesitation. He reached up to cup Logan’s face, lips quirking up ever so slightly when Logan turned his face into Roman’s palm. 

They parted, lingering. “You look amazing,” Roman murmured against Logan’s lips. “Completely left me speechless.” 

Logan snorted, smiling. “You had plenty of words, they were just jumbled,” he said quietly. 

“That’s what you do to me,” Roman said. “Leave me all scrambled. It’s rude to deprive a poet of his words.” 

“I never deprived you of anything.” They had begun to sway back and forth, rocking in each other's arms, still just barely parted. 

“Oh please,” Roman scoffed, lips quirking again. He pulled back just enough to meet Logan’s eyes, gaze hooded and warm. “I could have a whole soliloquy written and memorized, and suddenly I see you and my thoughts fall to the side, my mouth goes dry, and all I can see is you. You, only you; you standing, sitting, humming, speaking, studying, laughing, smiling. You, just you; it’s enough to make me speechless. Enough to make me stop and stare. You’ve bewitched me and yet you are the cure.” 

Logan was no good with emotions, even less so with translating them well into the words. Roman made it seem so easy. But Logan didn’t need to match Roman’s talent beat for beat. 

Logan pressed a quick peck to Roman’s lips before resting his forehead against Roman’s. “I love you,” he whispered because he didn’t say those words a lot--perhaps not often enough--but he meant them every time he said it. 

“I love you too.” The words sounded sweet from Roman, ringing orange and pink like a sunset in Logan’s mind. 

Logan’s hand met and grasped Roman’s. “Shall we?” he asked, leaning back towards the field. 

Roman smiled--and he says I make him speechless, Logan thought--and squeezed his hand, bringing it up to his lips, sealing the night with one final kiss. 

“Let’s.”