#I haven’t written in a looooong time lol

[toohottohoot]

Quick prompt!

Villain shifted, and embraced Hero. But it wasn’t a hug, was it? It was too empty, too loose, too wrong to be called something so nice as a hug. “I’m sorry for your loss,” Villain cooed, and Hero tried not to punch villain in their face then and there.

[harrytheehottie]

LOOKING BACK (a snapshot of moments in harry’s pov)

Harry woke up from a nightmare. Or maybe it wasn’t a nightmare, just a really vivid dream. Whatever it was. He was now up in the middle of the night. The private plane was still above the Atlantic Ocean. Harry tapped on the screen on the seat in front of him. The map of the plane's journey, only three and a half hours left until he’s back home. He couldn’t wait.

The last few months, honestly years of his life have felt out of his control. He spent a year working on an album that he was only able to promote for three months before the entire world shut down and he was unable to leave Los Angeles for months although it felt like years after day 14 of living in the same house as his friends. He loved them but he was going crazy. So, he did what he always does in moments of crazy, he called up his friends Tom and Tyler, booked the studio in Malibu for a month and got all his emotions out for his next album.

And then. His life went a little like this.

Album. Movie. Relationship. Grammy. Another Movie. Tour. Album. More Tours. More Tours. Another Tour. Breakup. More Tours. Final Round? Yes. Done.

And now, he was three and a half hours from the one place he wanted to be most.

With you.

Harry has always thought the ‘you’ll find love where you least expect it’ was a cliche. He was always set up somehow or just happened to be in an environment where a relationship may naturally occur for most. He was single for the first time in a long time and didn’t want anything serious. His focus was finishing up the tour - the only date in his mind was July 22, 2023. The last time he would be on stage for at least a full year.

And then, one late night when he was in bed somewhere in Asia he found himself tapping through Instagram stories. He was on a strict schedule and wasn’t one to party during tour - unless it was a very special occasion. And he was letting himself have a few more of those doing his days off. But tonight, he was in bed with some music documentary in the background as he tapped through Instagram.

A picture of his old classmates' new child. A selfie. A picture of the sunset on the beach. A repost about the ‘Sunday Scaries’. And then a video of one of his friends from back home in London at a party of some sort. Something was telling him to linger on these next few slides. He recognized some faces. London was a fairly small city and when you’ve lived there for a little over a decade - it gets smaller and smaller. He hasn’t seen you around. He replayed the same 15 second video over and over again. He was mesmerized by the way your bright smile and shy laugh cut through the video even though you weren’t the center of attention. Your presence is what got him to go back to the story over and over again.

He thought about messaging the mutual friend. His thumb hovering over the ‘send a message’ button at the bottom of the screen. Would it be too full on? Too desperate? What would you think? It’s the tricky part about being himself. He doesn’t want to come off too full on and confident. Maybe he thinks he should try to sleep on it. But something keeps making him go back to that story, over and over and over again. So, he does the second best thing. He sends a text to the friend who posted the story - asking them to hangout when he’s back home and introduce you to him.

&&

When Harry first met you, he swore it felt straight out of a movie. He was a romantic. He always has been that way. His therapist thinks it comes from growing up solely around women and watching his parents separate. You long for the things you didn’t have or something like that. But he knows that this, whatever he is feeling is different. His friend did him a favor and instead of just inviting solely you to hangout, he had a game night at his house. Harry was nervous the entire day, unable to figure out what to wear, how to style his hair, if he should arrive on time or a little late. He was working himself up so much he almost had to call his older sister, Gemma to help him get ready but decided not to. He didn’t want to involve anyone just yet. So, he put on an outfit he’s worn dozens of times before. A blue button down and some black trousers, ran his hands through his hair a few times and headed out the door.

The minute he made it to his friend's apartment. He swore he heard your voice. The laugh that was replaying from that same fifteen second clip. He felt his desire to be near you grow stronger throughout the night. It was almost embarrassing. The way he was so desperate for your attention. Every smile and laugh you shared felt like another success under his belt. He really liked you and needed you to know that. So, when you finally sat next to him during a game of charades, Harry decided to do something. You were both engaged in the game happening right in front of you. Everyone was. Which gave Harry an opportune time to lay back on the couch and move his right hand from his own leg to yours. He had his hand on your thigh right above the knee. He could almost feel his body tensing up and getting red as seconds went by without a reaction from you.

He felt like he was holding his breath in. Until, you also began to slowly lean back on the couch. Smiling at Harry the same way he knew he was looking at you. A shy laugh between the two of you and you stayed like that through the majority of the night. The game night was useless because he got what he initially came for.

And damn did he feel very lucky.

&&

Your first date started off not well. Harry planned to take you to one of his favorite restaurants which ended up being closed for maintenance. He was scrambling for another location and settled on a picnic in the park. You talked for hours about everything. Where you’ve from, what brought you to London, your favorite things to do. And Harry was intently listening to every detail asking questions he never did before. He really wanted this to work out. The feeling of that pull towards you growing the more you spoke.

By date number four, he was already thinking of asking you to be his girlfriend. You were walking back to the car after a nice meal at your favorite hole in the way Chinese restaurant. To some it would be too soon, honestly, to himself a few months ago it would feel too soon. But right now, on this walk back to the car, after sharing endless amounts of dumplings and feeling like your conversation was effortless, he knew he wanted to bottle this feeling up and experience it every single day for as long as you’d allow him.

So, he did something that the two of you laugh about now.

You were a couple feet from the car when Harry stopped dead in his tracks. And as soon as you realized he wasn’t still walking beside you and you turned around to see what he was up to. He was about to kneel down on one knee.

“What are you doing?” You asked immediately, laughing at the situation he put you in. He didn't know it at the time but there was a tiny part of you that thought this was something he always did.

“I know this is crazy.” Harry began to speak, “and we’ve only been seeing each other for a couple of months…”

“Are you going to propose to me because I’ve not run away after date number two?” Harry loved how much shit you gave him. “But seriously you need to stand up before people think you’re being serious.”

“Okay okay,” he slowly got up, “I was going to say that… you can tell me if it’s too soon or too early but if I could’ve asked you this back when we first met I would’ve…”

You had a puzzled look on your face. He knows the face now, you pull it when you’re unsure, hesitant.

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

[soundsof71]

for the album thing: born in the usa :)

I could write a book about any of Bruce’s records from Born To Run to Born In The USA. I did in fact write my grad school thesis using Nebraska as the hook: ”Vehicles of Grace: Automobile Imagery and Salvation in the works of Bruce Springsteen and Flannery O’Connor” LOL which is one million percent true. 

In fact, I bought Nebraska on my first day of class in grad school (a whole story by itself), and BITUSA came out as I was finishing my coursework two years later. It’s hard to overstate how hard this one hit, but my reaction was kind of complicated, so I’ll tell ya all about it.

the first song from this album I heard: “Dancing In The Dark”, which came out as a single before the album. Followed immediately by “Pink Cadillac”, its b-side. We played the SHIT out of that song in particular, far more than the A side, and were dumbfounded that it wasn’t on the album. 

do I own the album?: Obvs, but there’s a story. Of course. My girlfriend and I bought it on vinyl the day it came out in June (we weren’t married yet, but we’d merged our record collections the previous year LOL), then for my birthday in August, she bought me a CD player for like $800 (they were expensive as FUCK when they first came out -- and $800 was even more of a fuckton of money back in those days, especially for a couple of grad students), with one CD, Born In The USA. That one CD was more than reason enough to spend the dough on a player.

I still have that CD, along with the ticket for show where we saw Bruce on our honeymoon in England, at St. James Park in Newcastle, in June 1985. He’d just gotten married too (the first time), which is a whole ‘nother story too. Oh, and I still have the sweatshirt from that show! I'll post a picture of all this some time.

my favorite song: Wellll....here’s where it gets kinda complicated. Bruce had a notoriously hard time picking songs for the record. He’d recorded something like 50 songs for the album, and once he cut the list to 30 or so, he kept asking people he trusted to pick THEIR favorite running order. (Dave Marsh talked about this in his book Glory Days: Bruce Springsteen in the 1980s, and I haven’t heard it much discussed since then.) It’s hard to argue with the finished results, but you know what? I kinda do, still, all these years later. LOL 

My favorite song OF the album, no question, is “Shut Out The Light”. (Check my tag for this song to hear some more about it.) It was first released as the b-side to the 7 inch single of “Born In The USA” (remarkably, the third single from the record), and wouldn’t show up on CD until 1998 on the Tracks anthology. Tracks was 4 CDs in all (should probably have been 6 discs, and COULD have been 10), but I bought the whole thing for THIS.

My favorite song ON the album: “Downbound Train.”

my least favorite song: “Darlington County”. 

a song I didn’t like at first, but now do: “Dancing In The Dark”. I’m not alone in this. Miami Steve famously HATED the song at first, and only came to appreciate it after years of playing it live. I still remember never more eagerly anticipating an album in my life, and never being more upset by the advance single. I was devastated.

Here’s why. Born to Run came out when I was 15. “Gotta get out while we’re young!” The romance of escape, with the last two songs, still grandly romantic, hinting at its costs. 

Darkness came out when I was 17. Narrator: “They did not escape.” LOL Ghosts, bitterness, compulsion, cursed by God. His estranged wife’s eyes “filed with hate for just being born”, while “Tonight I’ll be on that hill ‘cause I can’t stop.” 

The closest thing to hope: a whispered “Tonight my baby and me are gonna ride to the sea / and wash these sins from our hands.” I was a senior in high school and the dream was already dead. Awesome. LOL

The River came out when I was 20. The only hope is domesticity. Too bad that it’s suffocating and you’ll fuck it up. LOL Want to wash the sins from your hands? Sorry, the river is dry. “Is a dream a lie if it don’t come true / Or is it something worse./ that sends me down to the river?” Yikes!

The shows for this album were astounding. The album was soooo much darker than it first appeared, and the catharsis in the performance was rewarding, sure, but almost unbearable. You were left broken and crawling by the end of the night. In a good way. LOL 

Nebraska came out when I was 22. Murder, mental illness, ghosts, more murder, compulsion, and as a treat, a little more murder. LOL 

The one song I couldn’t stand was “Reason To Believe”, because I didn’t believe there was one, and I didn’t believe he did either. But boy did I love the album as a whole. Like I said, my grad school thesis started here, because I had too much to say about Nebraska and the sweep of Bruce’s literary roots and spiritual impulses NOT to write about it. 

(Not shockingly in retrospect, and a blessing for us all that he went through with it and is still at it, but Bruce’s therapy started here too.)

So from 1975 to 1984, things got darker and darker and darker. It was beautiful. LOL And hey, this was MY LIFE we’re talking about, too! From 15 to 24, I was listening to Born To Run, Darkness, The River, and Nebraska practically on a loop, and the more hopeful stuff was becoming less and less resonant. 

Sure, there was Rosalita and Thunder Road and Badlands, plenty of dancing and pumping fists, but I was dwelling in darkness, and living for it. On my best days, I was wounded, not even dead LOL but I barely listened to Born to Run by the end of this span. It was mostly Darkness and Nebraska. 

I couldn’t wait to hear what was coming after the highest body count in recorded history on that album. LOL I knew it wouldn’t be acoustic again, but man, he was cutting closer and closer to the bone each time out. How much farther could he possibly go?

And it was....Dancing In The Dark? What the actual FUCK? Practically fucking disco or something? WHA....? I loved dance music, especially in the 80s, but I didn’t need it from Bruce. I had that from other people. Oh well, at least the b-side was cool, so maybe the album won’t bite. LOL BUT THEN PINK CADILLAC WASN’T ON THE ALBUM. FUCK.

The album didn't bite, of course, but it took a looooong time to get over this huge dual disappointment of a chirpy disco single by an artist I barely recognized, and whom I now felt I could no longer trust to manage his own creative mission.  

My wife wrapped her head around it first (as is usually the case LOL). She dug it as the closest Bruce had yet come to putting his actual self in a song. The narrator is a writer, anyway, unlike every other song he’d ever written about jobs he never held for a single second (an observation that would form the bedrock of Springsteen on Broadway 40 years later).  

Now, I totally dig it. If you’re naughty enough, I might even post my ukulele cover of Dancing In The Dark. LOL

a song I used to like, but now don’t: None. The songs I loved, which is most of ‘em honestly, I still do. Everything about this album has gotten better with time for me, and nothing about it has gotten less so.

my favorite lyric: 

From “Shut Out The Light”: Oh mama mama mama come quick I've got the shakes and I'm gonna be sick Throw your arms around me in the cold dark night Hey now mama don't shut out the light 

From “Downbound Train” The room was dark. Our bed was empty Then I heard that long whistle whine And I dropped to my knees, hung my head, and cried

Bruce was gonna try to give me a happier record, but I was having none of it. LOL 

For the record, “Downbound Train” is my wife’s favorite track on the record by FAR, at least partly because it sounds like a band version of a song that could have followed Nebraska. I prefer Shut Out The Light because I heard the story of my own mental illness in it for the first time, but yeah, Downbound Train is amazing.

I only saw it live once at the time (in Newcastle, June 4, ‘85), but it really comes to live onstage -- true for all of Bruce of course, but this album more than any other imo.

overall rating out of 10: Then: 8. Now: 9.2.  The shows were unbelievably good (we saw three shows in three different countries on that tour) and it sold a buttload, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling that after the run of Darkness - The River - Nebraska, that this was a missed opportunity at best. 

Time and distance heals all LOL and I now love it. Not more than the four before it, but more than anything since. A masterpiece, by any standard.

[bard-llama]

WiP List

This is gonna be looooong (like, REALLY long), so I’mma go ahead and give you a cut here. But if you’re interested in what i’m working on, take a look!

Order purely based on the order my tabs are in. I’m only counting WiPs that actually have more than a paragraph written, because if I didn’t, this list would be even longer. Also, pls don’t judge me but what I name my WiPs 😂

Post-Coital Smoke

Kinda what it sounds like tbh. I just wanted Iorveth getting high and admiring Roche’s body and then Roche decided to be a tease. At some point, I assume there will be sex.

Angst: Sex object Roche

Iorveth’s POV of realizing that Roche hurts himself whenever he flirts at Iorveth. Premise is that Roche has been groomed (intentionally or not) by Foltest to be his. So when he feels attraction towards Iorveth, he needs to be punished. And obviously Iorveth helps him learn that no, that’s not okay and idk recovery???

Midwinter Feast

This idea was 100% spawned by me trying to write holiday fics, but Foltest hosts a Midwinter Feast where they close the city for 12 days, leaving Roche to get along with the Nonhuman/Scoia’tael(ish) delegation during that time. Also, Foltest might be using the feast as a delaying tactic to resupply his army. I legit have no idea where this is going, I just thought the idea of Roche and Iorveth stuck at a feast for 12 days was funny.

Solstice Feast aka To Birth a Verdant Future

This was actually an xmas gift for @lutes-and-dandelions, but I havent finished it yet 😓 But the premise is similar to the former in that it’s another solstice feast. But it’s set post-W3 with Emhyr as Emperor throwing a party in the new conquered capital of Vizima. Roche broods a lot about Foltest’s memory and how he hates Emhyr and decides to distract himself by hanging out with Iorveth and suggesting they follow an old elven tradition. And that’s all I’ll say. XD

Next Year (Solstice Feast sequel)

Literally set the next year. This time they merge their lives by merging their people’s traditions.

Lily Preserved in Amber

Okay, haven’t gotten very far in this, but I decided it was an elven rite of passage to go searching through the forest for a sign of your future. And Iorveth finds a piece of amber with a lily preserved inside. I haven’t decided if it purely means Roche or if it means his whole family with Roche and Boussy and Anais and all. So far, he hasn’t even found the amber yet lmao. But he did just discover music!

Character taking control of the other and Character B just letting go and enjoying themselves

Under the subheading “Porn Snips”, so uh, yeah. Starts with Roche and Iorveth fighting to decide who gets to top, involves Roche getting choked, and Iorveth ripping Roche’s pants off. Oh, also, they’re currently at a fancy party hiding somewhere in the garden lmao

Based on @moonlights-ordinance‘s art

Moonlight’s working on an adorable piece where Roche leans his forehead against Iorveth’s back between his shoulderblades. I decided to make it post-W3 with both of them working as paper pushers/administrators under Emhyr’s Temeria. And Nilfgaard does not believe in chairs with backs (or, really, Emhyr wanted to see how long Roche’s pride would make him suffer. It’s a long time). The idea is to show development over time as they slowly get more comfortable with touch and start using each other as backrests. And then the sweet scene Moonlight is drawing.

Eliza for @useless-empty-brain aka Can’t We All Just Get Oolong?

Next is Iorveth’s POV, but I legit cannot figure out where to start. But we’re gonna see some of his thoughts (like how Eliza volunteered him to stay in Vizima for an unspecified period of time and he said yes even though he can’t and now has to commute regularly because he doesn’t want to miss tea with Roche but also doesn’t want Roche’s spies to catch on lmao) and his curiosity about Roche and Foltest and what Roche’s mission is (which I... totally know.)

Roche’s Scars

@moonlights-ordinance sent me a great pic of a mod for Roche where he had some pretty vicious scarring/mutilation. So of course I decided I needed to tell the story of each one. But really, it’s a story about the stages of acceptance with scars. Both Iorveth and Roche start out hiding theirs, but eventually come to reveal them comfortably in public.

Vernon Roche of the Scoia’tael aka The Value of a Man

Does my title give it away? Oops? So, this is a found family fic where Roche is captured by the Scoia’tael and the elves and dwarves slowly come to see him as - well, I was gonna say human, but as a person, I guess. And start feeling really, really guilty, especially when some not great things happen to Roche. 

Oh also, Foltest is a giant dick and uh, SPOILERS he does not try to get Roche back. Which leads to a whole subplot that will end with a found family for EVERYONE, because they all deserve to be happy dammit.

All of that was just one document lmao. I have 24 documents, some of which have quite a few WiPs in them. 😱

Kiss Prompts

24. Deep kisses where they have their hands tangled in each other’s hair to pull them closer. AKA How to Fluster an Elf

When I got the idea for How to Fluster an Elf, I decided it was gonna fill the prompt dammit. And then it really, really expanded on me.

33. An unexpected kiss that shocks the one receiving it.

Roche dreams occasionally that Iorveth visits him and watches over him and sometimes speaks, but he can’t understand Elder Speech, so he assumes it’s all gibberish.

Then he finds out it’s not and suddenly he’s not so certain it’s a dream

16. One person pouting, only to have it removed by a kiss from the other person.

Okay, I literally just need to buckle down and write some good kissing. This is set in (Im)Perfect Strangers and Iorveth is pouting about them leaving the gardens, so Roche makes it up to him.

25. Wet kisses after finding refuge from the rain.

This one won’t actually be published with the kisses ‘cause it’s porn and the rest are T-rated lol. Buuuut Roche and Iorveth are trying to have a secret liaison in the forest when the rain starts. Featuring nature magic, tentacles, and Iorveth getting filled.

Scenes from Another World (aka AU premise)

Old Men in Vergen

Set during Witcher 3, but with an established relationship. Roche comes to visit Iorveth in Vergen to ask for advice on leading an insurgency. Iorveth just wants to feed Roche while he can now that he’s not the one starving in the woods.

Language Aphasia/Deal with the Devil

I wanted to write Gaunter! So I decided that Gaunter is in a mood for some mischief (he calls it being generous) and comes upon a traveling Vernon Roche who wishes that he could be understand Iorveth. Then Iorveth’s Scoia’tael find a passed out Roche in the woods and bring him to Iorveth for judgement. Only somehow, Roche only understands Elder Speech now. He can’t understand Common at all. The Scoia’tael find this very offensive and Iorveth is mostly freaked out that someone who can do THAT was wandering around his forest.

Bunk Beds: The Portrait of Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon

Based on a silly comic, Ciri convinces Iorveth and Roche to try to help her destroy the portrait. Geralt gets pissed and sends them to Bunk Bed Exile. Shenanigans ensue and somehow they start to get along.

Iorveth’s Scoia’tael Giving Him Shit For His Taste in Men aka The Lovestruck Fox

Right now, working on a piece from the POV of a new Scoia’tael recruit who is discovering that Iorveth’s Scoia’tael roast the fuck out of him over his crush on Roche. 

Speaking of, anyone have suggestions on prime roast material? I am not this creative.

Let’s Torture Roche!

No, really. This one is pretty dark. And told in kind of a different style than my usual, because I felt like it. So, premise is that Iorveth and Roche were a thing in the past, but then Roche was recalled to Foltest’s side and he went. So Iorveth is understandably pretty hurt and pissed (this was decided for a prompt of someone breaking down as soon as they’re behind closed doors). Buuut what he doesn’t know is that Roche is not with Foltest of his own volition. Hostages, blackmail, and torture are all involved and Foltest is a pretty horrible guy. But of course we need a happy ending, so eventually, Iorveth will rescue Roche and they get to recover together.

Life Debt aka Iorveth is an Asshole

The concept for this was that Roche saved Iorveth’s life and now that they were no longer enemies (set during Witcher 3), his honor demands that he follow Roche around until he can repay the favor. Featuring Iorveth being a trolling asshole, correcting the new Temerian Loyalist’s fighting abilities, and Roche being very, very tired. 

In application, it’s mostly angst so far, ‘cause I had to set up HOW Roche saved Iorveth’s life. And then I decided to really hurt Iorveth. But tbh I will probably skip ahead after establishing this stuff, because I just want shenanigans.

King and Country

I’ve got several WiPs for this one, including the Stripes’ recruitment, their decision to change sides, the Stripes being double agents, and of course, Iorveth and Roche’s developing relationship. But hey, I’ve skipped ahead to writing their wedding already, so... you know it ends happily ever after?

Friday Fight Night for Jan 29 (which I did not make oops)

So, this actually turned into a long piece that’s gonna be part of my Chronic Pain series. Basically, King Foltest is treating with the leaders of the Scoia’tael in Temeria and Iorveth is one of them. Unfortunately, he’s having a REALLY BAD pain day, but he’s also determined to be there to represent his people. Roche helps him see sense. Possibly forcefully.

Exhaustion Prompts

“If we’re both in this state, we both really screwed up somewhere huh?”

Iorveth and Roche are trapped in a dream and I got a little stuck creating the creature that trapped them there. But pretty sure Saskia is gonna interrupt their flirting by saving them.

“You were almost dead from pushing it too far!”

In which Roche has a heart attack from too much coffee. Yeah. He’s okay, though! But PT is about to blow a gasket and coffee will very much be disallowed.

Found Family Prompts

Taking Out the Trash for @useless-empty-brain

Literally a story about taking out the trash lmao. We’re gonna see if I can make this intersting.

Touch Starved for @mochii-girl

Honestly, haven’t gotten much done on this yet, but I’m thinking puppy pile cuddles in Corvo Bianco

Coffeeshop AU aka Brewing Romance and Dissent

Ooof I’ve got a lot of bits and pieces of this written, but nothing quite finished, except for the moment when things change from “we flirt as I order coffee” to “I make you special drinks and invite you to come visit me after hours”. Writing a canon coffeeshop au when I know shit all about coffee is HARD.

Curse Breaking

Omg this is one of the first WiPs I started for Iorveth/Roche, no joke. STILL WORKING ON IT! The premise is that Roche finds a feverish and dying Iorveth in an empty Scoia’tael camp, saves him with the power of True Love’s Kiss The Power of Strong Emotions, Like That Which You Might Have For Your Enemy. Then they team up to go save Iorveth’s Scoia’tael from a big bad mage and Roche invites Triss along for the ride, which totally doesn’t make Iorveth jealous. I kinda stalled out at the part where they reach the mage’s hideout and see the results of the mages failed experiments. On Iorveth’s people. It’s gonna hurt. A lot. But afterwards, there might be makeouts. And some sort of implication that they’re all down to do this (minus the horrible, traumatic parts) again.

Roche POV bloodplay

Roche’s POV starting from before his first encounter with Iorveth. Then he has a weirdly sexually arousing encounter with the elf, and tbh, that’s as far as I got. But Iorveth draws blood from Roche’s neck, presses his thumb to it, and then licks it off his thumb. Next, Iorveth was gonna be the one getting Uncomfortably Aroused, but I haven’t gotten that far. No idea where this is going overall.

Iorveth Investigates Roche

This kinda isn’t a real WiP in that idk if I’ll ever finish it. I mostly started it to do some worldbuilding about what public information there would be about Roche. 

Voyeurism AKA Eye on You

Yeah, I don’t have much for the next chapter yet, tbh. So premise is that Iorveth accidentally ends up watching Roche get off at the brothel and finds it really, really hot. Hot enough to get curious and go back for more. Next one is going to involve thigh fucking and Iorveth might possibly get pegged by Daph??? idk

Fake Relationship

Poor @lutes-and-dandelions has been waiting forever for this one and I can’t even find a place to end the scene and post what I have so far. Premise is that Iorveth and Roche are both investigating their missing men and the trail takes them to the Murivel Resort for Couples. So they go undercover. Featuring Roche’s POV of being doubtful, Iorveth using the excuse to flirt outrageously, strip gwent, and a magic amulet that hids Iorveth’s scar and that Roche hates.

Competitive Makeouts AKA The Chase

This was kissing practice and it turned into a casefic! Which is awesome because I love casefics even though I haven’t published any yet. So in this one, as Iorveth and Roche sneak off to makeout, they also end up investigating a conspiracy in the Temerian military. 

Iorveth/Roche(/Kayran) + Roche/Foltest aka Every Kiss Begins with Kayran

In which Roche accidentally walks in on Iorveth’s monthly fuck date with the Kayran and gets invited to join in. Then, somehow,  it starts to turn into a relationship. With an elf and a tentacle monster. And yet, somehow, this relationship is healthier than the one with Foltest. The contrast opens Roche’s eyes.

Pining and Poignards

In which Iorveth stabs Roche with his favorite knife and wants it back and is also maybe pining a lil bit. Meanwhile Roche is rather pissed, but also curious and begins to teach himself Elder Speech to try to read the inscription on Iorveth’s knife. I stalled out in the scene where Iorveth accidentally watches Roche masturbate in the bath.

Iorveth tittyfucking Roche

Look, it’s what it says on the tin. Roche’s POV of Iorveth’s fascination with his chest and how it makes him feel and then there is sex.

Dirty Gremlin Man

Iorveth gets off on Roche being a sweaty, stinky human. Roche pins Iorveth in a fight and Iorveth gets very distracted watching a drop of sweat trail down Roche’s face. So distracted, in fact, that he doesn’t think twice before stretching out his neck and licking it. Then, of course, he remembers where he is. Featuring a very confused Roche, a smidge of jealousy, and Iorveth stealing Roche’s sweaty clothing to do unspeakable things to it. And somehow they get together.

Want me to sit in your lap?

Geralt LEGIT says this to Roche like 5 mins into the Witcher 2 and it’s GREAT. So of course, I had to write a scene where he actually got to. This is set post Witcher 2 while Geralt, Triss, Roche, and Ves are headed back to Temeria. Triss offers Geralt a little stress relief - which involves warming Roche’s cock and watching Triss and Ves get to know one another.

Red is the Rose

So, Chapter 4 is set post-Witcher 2 and Iorveth is obsessing over the fact that the Rose of Remembrance still has not wilted. He wonders what might be possible, so when he hears a rumor that a certain Temerian Commander was taken captive by Dethmold...

Dethmold most definitely dies. But unfortunately, that doesn’t save Roche from the curses he cast. So they go looking for Geralt to find out how to fix it.

This has only been 9 of my documents, y’all. I think I have a problem.

De-Aged Fic aka The language of friendship is not words but meanings

Ugh, I lost my momentum on this one, which sucks, ‘cause the next chapter is so close to done. Iorveth just needs to do a little freaking out first. But then they will both be back to adults and have to DEAL with the fact that they made good friends and would kinda like that again. I think this fic is gonna be purely friendship for them, but they’re gonna get there.

Glory Hole

A fic for the @sugar-and-spice-witcher-bingo where Roche hears a rumor that some Scoia’tael go to this brothel on the outskirts of town and hey, he may as well check it out, right? By going undercover and working the glory hole, of course. He never ACTUALLY expected Iorveth would come, but his legendary mouth was enticing enough to draw the Scoia’tael commander out.

Snuggling

Thirteen “accidentally” handcuffs Iorveth and Roche together when they capture Iorveth. This leads to them lying on the cot in the Stripes’ holding cell, spooning. There is banter and tickling and escapes not attempted and also maybe some sex with Inexperience Iorveth (i say maybe because I already started the sex, but idk if it will fit in). 

Petals and Stripes

A weed is but an unloved flower

Okay, the Stripes are going to attempt to woo Iorveth during a battle. Also, there is a stabbing. And then a kidnapping. And then, miracle of miracles, someone actually tries talking!

One person's weed is another person's wildflower

Ves’s POV! She cleans up the mess her idiots make and terrifies the life out of one elven suitor, but first she’s gotta deal with her own conflicted feelings about her Boss, the guy she relies on to show her the shades of grey in the world, loving the elf she’s supposed to kill. 

After that, I’ve got 2 more fics planned in this ‘verse. One is gonna be a fluffy and/or sexy date after Iorveth and Roche have gotten together. The other is a Scoia’tael side story, featuring lots of gossip about the humans sending their Commander love letters.

Love Shack

The Better Part of Valor

Ugh, I’m stuck on the sex again. Roche is having a really shitty day, so he goes to the cabin and signals Iorveth that he wants a round. Iorveth offers gentle (for them) sex and praise. And at the end, there’s a very significant scene where Iorveth removes his bandana. Roche buries his fingers in Iorveth’s hair, but doesn’t actually see his face, as he’s laying on his stomach with Iorveth on top of him.

Medicine

The morning after! Roche wakes up to find Iorveth in the bath, facing away from him, and notices a new scar. Iorveth has to deal with actually revealing his scars in daylight and they discuss the significant differences in elven and human medicine. Hint: I turned my own medical procedures into elven medicine, so it’s pretty fucking good.

PWP Ovi

Set ambiguously late, maybe after Thou Art More Lovely and More Temperate. Iorveth and Roche explore what Roche can take. We start with overstimulation, go into consensual somnophilia, come inflation, breeding kink, and oviposition. Because elves reproduce by laying eggs, which is not at all the case purely because I started this WiP ages ago and was horny.

The Picture Says It All

There’s going to be 5 more pictures that Rinn draws for Iorveth. Next is Roche hard at work, hunched over a desk. Then we’re getting some shirtless Roche, for “research”, of course. Then Roche cuddling with PT and the rest of the team, about which Iorveth is not at all jealous. Then a face study of Roche during a fight and uh, Iorveth is uncomfortably turned on. And finally, a drawing of their cabin with a silhouette in the window. She knows.

Roche & Rinn: The Haunting of Barrack 8B

Oh man, I really want to finish the next chapter, because I already have the one after that done. But first, we get introduced to Adda! This ‘verse is going to feature Adda the White a lot more than any of my others have done so far and I’m very excited. Also, Silas continues to be terrified of the ghost and the ghost and Adda become girlfriends buddies.

Roche builds Iorveth a home

Set late in the ‘verse, after Roche knows his feelings, but they haven’t said them yet (not out loud, anyway). Iorveth takes a trip to go meet Saskia do things off screen and Roche ends up turning to his old hobby, carpentry, to keep himself from pining too obviously. So obviously he ends up builing Iorveth a solarium. And a pillow nest. And a scaffold so that flowers that blossom in the moonlight cover the glass and give them privacy.

I got stuck here because Rinn needs to give Roche a hint to get him to build the pillow nest, but I hadn’t developed Rinn and Roche’s relationship yet, so had to go back and do that. But eventually Iorveth returns and they have wonderful I’m-not-saying-it-but-i-love-you sex in the new pillow nest.

Foltest (WiP): Long Live the King

This is actually the last fic in the ‘verse, so I don’t want to give too much away. But actually, I haven’t figured out what the next chapter is, BUT I have the chapter after that started and it is GOOD, just you wait!! I’m very excited.

Don’t Cry For Me, Temeria

This ‘verse alone, I have 14 WiPs and a dozen more unwritten ideas.

(Im)Perfect Strangers

I am frustratingly stuck on this chapter. Theoreatically, we are going to have a check in on how the mountain and the rest of our cast is doing and then Roche launches his Wooing TM plan (aka dinner, gift, and dancing).

Between Two Fools

Yeah, Roche and Iorveth have very different understandings of what their gifts represent. There is some soft happiness and then a swift rug pulled out from under Iorveth’s feet, I’m afraid. BUT we are almost to the part where the two idiots sit down and actually talk properly.

Unlucky Number Thirteen

Not only do I have more of Thirteen’s story planned, but I have ideas for ALL the Stripes to have stories. We’ll see how that goes. But for now, Thirteen starts spying for Roche. A lot of still-nebulous stuff happens, including Thirteen’s first time, for which he asks Roche to help. Additionally, once we reach the (Im)Perfect Strangers timeline, Thirteen has a special story all his own. It involves learning to read and a secret I shall not yet reveal.

Silas

Like I said, all the Stripes are hopefully getting stories. But Silas’s is coming along nicely. He starts a new life as “Silas”, as a man, and joins the army. Boot camp is rough and awful and he’s not very good at any of it, but one day, Roche comes looking for a recruit. He needs a codebreaker to decipher Thirteen’s scouting reports (another one for pictures). So Silas joins the Stripes, but he’s still terrified that they’ll fnd out and think he’s been lying to them. Fortunately, they’ll be putting his fears to rest.

Stripes Sex aka Earning Your Stripes: The First Time

PT’s POV! The Stripes (pre-Silas) are all still getting comfortable with each other as a team. But Thirteen has known Roche the longest and in a specific capacity. So one evening when he needs to get out of his head, Thirteen asks Roche to dom him. PT is confused and scandalized and then jealous, but he gets to join in soon too. Meanwhile, Finch and Ves have fun with their bratty arsonist and Fenn is loving it.

break (v /brāk/): to destroy someone's resistance

This is very long and entirely build up to porn. And then lots of porn. A question during a random conversation leads Roche to make Iorveth ask him to take Iorveth utterly apart in a consensual non-consent fantasy set when they were still enemies in the forest.

Bath House

This was supposed to be a simple PWP where Roche talks dirty to Iorveth under his breath while the two of them are at the bathhouse with Boussy (who LOVES baths and brought them to the fancy bath house), Anais, and Thirteen (who HATE baths and react to water much like a cat). They kinda took over the story and there has been no dirty talk yet oops.

Iorveth POV: Tutti

Iorveth begins to reclaim his love for music and lets himself improvise and compose again. And he ends up writing a song that is the story of his and Roche’s romance.

Daggers, Dumplings, and Dresses

The Elihal/Hattori side story! Though we haven’t actually met Hattori yet. So far, Elihal is expounding on his past and his relationship with Iorveth (he used to make all of Iorveth’s fancy gowns for concerts). Elihal and Hattori won’t play a HUGE role in (Im)Perfect Strangers, but they will be appearing!

Ves and Ciaran aka The First Rule of Fight Club

Ves is stuck walking a very long way back to Vergen with the memory of Ciaran’s skin against her teeth. And even though elves lie like breathing, she can’t help thinking about what he said about Roche not being worth her loyalty. Slowly, she begins to work some things out.

Sex with Saskia/Dragonfucking

Yeah, it’s what it sounds like. Iorveth tells Roche that Saskia agreed to a threesome and where to meet, but he neglected to mention the rather large dragon that was currently rimming his ass. Roche gets distracted from his confusion by the hotness and watches Iorveth get fucked by a dragon (with 2 dicks to fit 2 holes, of course).

Come Inflation + Piss Play

Um. Yeah, it’s a PWP where Roche asks Triss for a potion that will make him come a lot. And then Iorveth wants more. No idea where it’s going, tbh.

Stripes vs Scoia’tael: Water Balloon Fight

Literally a water balloon fight. For morale.

Baby Mama

Uh, the title is a bit telling here oops. But let’s just say Iorveth and Roche go on vacation to the cabin on top of the mountain again when Iorveth is hit with the sudden extreme urge to breed. Roche is down, but at some point, they do actually need to talk.

King Roche aka fics where Roche is in charge and hates it. Some are more in line with this than others.

Post W3 Becoming Terrorists Together

Ah yes, the murder husbands fic. Literally, Roche gets stuck leading Temeria under Emhyr’s orders and he’s good at it, but he HATES it. Enter Iorveth, who both points out security flaws, joins Roche for a surprisingly unawkward bath, and proposes that they go hunting down war criminals on their own time. How can Roche say no?

Pre-W2 Ambassadorial AU

Different first meeting AU! In this one, Iorveth is sent as the elven ambassador to Temeria and it’s about as much fun as one might expect. Triss and Roche, the other outcasts amongst Temerian court, decide to befriend him. Well, try to anyway. idk where this is going, but it’s been fun. Also, Iorveth wears a fancy braid over his eye, because I said so. Also, I might be planning an OT3 porn scene at some point, because it turns out, elves are VERY sensitive to magic XD

Leap of Faith

Okay, yeah, this has nothing to do with King Roche, but it’s the doc I was working in when I got the idea. In this one, a mage captures Iorveth for Foltest and starts torturing him. Roche, without really thinking about it, decides the mage goes too far, so he kills them. Leaving him with an elven prisoner and a castle full of people who will consider him a traitor for that. They escape the city, but now Iorveth has gotta convince Roche that no, the King really won’t forget that whole murder and prisoner escape thing. 

The whole point of this fic was for me to write them jumping off a cliff lmao. When am I gonna get to that? Probably like last or second to last chapter, tbh. Which should be... after the next one? No, I lied, it’s next chapter! I need to get on that!

An ill-favour’d thing, sir, but mine own aka Possessive Sex

Piss Fic

Um. Yeah. Roche is really horny when Iorveth gets home and is on him immediately, which is great, but Iorveth has gotta piss. Which becomes less urgent as Roche is determined to have his face fucks, but after he comes all over Roche’s face, it’s VERY urgent and Roche is a fucking brat and won’t move out of the way. So obviously the response to this is to piss on Roche’s crotch - which Roche is apparently more than okay with.

Cum Dumpster Roche

Yeah, this one doesn’t have much yet, I literally just wanted Roche getting railed and claimed and L O V I N G it. 

Possessiveness

Iorveth spends a lot of time thinking about his enemy, his nemesis. He’s researched Roche extensively, spent hours thinking up tactics and strategies to outwit his nemesis. He literally knows what Roche named his stupid weapons, but he’s never actually met Roche.

But he’s dreamt about it. The Roche in reality doesn’t look like the assumptions he made in his dreams, but who cares about looks? Because Roche is his, and certainly not some dh’oine king’s.

Tentacles + Breeding

Gods, this one is SO CLOSE to being done dammit, I just gotta finish it!! But it’s a fun one. Iorveth and Roche are fighting, when Iorveth suddenly starts fighting plants, which are fighting back. Then the plants notice Roche and suddenly he’s tied up with vines and his clothes are getting torn off and uh, he’s not supposed to find this hot, is he? But he really kinda does. And then Iorveth goes and claims him and tries to protect him from a nearly-extinct non-sentient plant that sensed a warm spot to lay its eggs until someone else could come along and fertilize them. Iorveth is delighted to be that person.

Dream: Pleasure Slave

Yeah, Roche really likes getting claimed in these. In this one, he has a favorite dream setting where Iorveth rules some grand elven kingdom and Roche’s only role is to bring him pleasure. Not to deal with politics or nobles or policy, but just to make Iorveth feel good. So far, this features cock warming, come inflation, a leather cock cage (so to speak), prostate milking, and a very nice silver chalice that Iorveth expects Roche to fill before they’re done.

Roche wears a collar

This was gonna be a simple lil thing based on me creating Roche in heroforge and giving him a lil hidden collar. But then Iorveth decided to get really sappy and had to design and create the perfect collar for his enemy. And then, much to his surprise, he gets the opportunity to PUT his collar on Roche. Which is great, except the sight distracts him so much that Roche manages to escape.

But the next time they meet, Roche is still wearing that collar, hidden under his chaperon and armor. Iorveth has feelings about that.

Standalone

Crones fic aka And Ghosts Did Shriek and Shrill

So this is the angsty fic that started from a crack premise. Er, one of them. I seem to do that a lot. But in this one, Roche goes to the Ladies of the Woods and asks for his men back. The Ladies agree, in exchange for 6 lifetimes of service. But no creature can reverse death. Which leads to the Stripes coming back to “life” as ghosts - only Roche is the only one who can see them. Ves can’t (not at first). 

Believe it or not, the whole idea behind this was the Stripes roasting Roche as he tries to flirt (terribly) with Iorveth. But uh... somehow it turned pretty dark. Like, it’ll have a happy ending for sure, but it’s gonna be a lot about processing trauma and grief and building families and also curing a plague, because that’s the first assignment from the Ladies.

Stripes fics

Cuddles with the Commander

This is intended to be a sequel to The Pride of Temeria, but I kinda got stuck figuring out exactly how Roche should react. Tbh, I don’t have much of this written yet, but the goal is for Roche to approve cuddles with everyone lmao.

Fire Breating

Okay, this one started as crack purely because I love fire, but it’s actually been really fun. So, Iorveth and Roche are established and Iorveth has been invited to a family night with the Stripes, which is kinda a lil awkward. So they decide to showcase some of their talents - which includes Roche singing musicals and PT breathing fire.

Iorveth is horrified that humans have harnessed this skill.

Iorveth’s missing eye

This is really short and idk if I’ll continue it, but the idea was for Roche to really wonder what was up with the bandana over half of Iorveth’s face was about. And then, of course, to find out.

Iorveth Gangbang

Why is this under Stripes fics, you might ask? Well, I have great news for you. Guess who the gang is?

In which Iorveth and Roche are in an established relationship and Iorveth gets tied up in the middle of the Stripes’ camp while Roche orders his men to take him apart. Iorveth very much enjoys himself, and then when the Stripes are tapped out, Roche shows ‘em how it’s done.

Kink Bingo fics aka that event that I totally failed, but hey, prompts are prompts.

Age Kink

In this fic, Iorveth and Roche both end up captured by unknown forces and end up imprisoned together. I think the Stripes and Scoia’tael are probably working together to find them and save them, but in the meantime, Iorveth and Roche decide to get to know each other a bit better. Featuring muscle spasms, blow jobs, and pain kink.

Eskel/Lambert (okay, a little out of place here, but eh, it’s in the doc and I am still working on it)

Started for a prompt on tumblr, Eskel and Lambert end up fighting and, trying to keep the peace, Eskel casts axii on Lambert. Which leads to Lambert confessing that he bit Eskel because it’s the only way he could get his mouth on him. This leads to some dodged confessions, some frottage, and some snarky banter, because of course it does. 

Tempt Not a Desperate Man aka the Fuck or Die series that started with Devour What’s Truly Yours

Fisting

The next part of the series, where Roche struggles with the fact that he’s been high key horny ever since the encounter in the woods with Iorveth and nothing is satisfying him. Iorveth, on the other hand, is jealous and annoyed that Roche keeps going to the whorehouse.

Then Roche decides to make a potentially suicidal move and enters the forest to try to find the clearing from last time. And, as you might guess from my heading, fisting will be happening. 

Iorveth POV: The Chaperon

Okay, I don’t actually have much of this written, but it’s really cute so - Roche keeps using his chaperon as a cum rag, so Iorveth knits and/or sews him a new one.

“Human Bootlicker”

PWP where Iorveth jokingly suggestions Roche should surrender on his knees - and then Roche does. And asks Iorveth to take his prize. Featuring Roche coming all over Iorveth’s boots from getting his face fucked, then leaning down and licking up the mess while Iorveth watches and then comes over his face.

One Accidental Proposal and Five Attempts At Accepting

So one of the themes of this ‘verse is gonna be the Elven Baths where the Roses of Remembrance grow. As in, they decide to make the elven baths a place they meet up. This is the first time Iorveth takes Roche there, and Roche does not know what significance the roses have. But he DOES know that Iorveth blushes cutely when he tucks a rose behind Iorveth’s ear, so...

Iorveth would like to accept, only Roche doesn’t know WHAT he’s trying to accept.

The Legend

So in the game, there is a legend around the statue of elven lovers above the elven baths. “Legend has it the lover’s sighs are enchanted within these very stones, though only those in love can hear them.” 

Iorveth overhears his Scoia’tael gossiping about the legend and comes to an abrupt realization that Roche and him were the ones they were hearing. Oops?

Standalone Fics

Letters

This is kind of a bittersweet WiP that I mostly wrote in one go and then went to sleep and kinda lost the will for it. BUT the premise is that post-Witcher 3 Roche is in charge of Temeria and his brooding is interrupted when he receives a letter sealed with a forget me not pressed into wax. Iorveth continues to send letters describing his life as a “civilian” in Nilfgaard and how much he hates it and Roche relates a little bit too much. Then Iorveth decides to run away and live on the streets as a musician and he might inspire Roche to start learning the cello and presumably at some point, they meet.

Identity Porn

Iorveth and Roche have a meet cute in Flotsam’s tavern while the elf is listening in for local gossip and Roche is passing through on his way to meet with the other northern kings to get support in fighting against the new emerging threat of the Scoia’tael. Neither knows who the other is, but that doesn’t stop them from starting a relationship where they meet every time Roche passes through Flotsam. But their house of cards can only last so long, and at some point, they will meet as enemies. Who knows what happens then? idk, not me.

Gwent pinup calendar aka Cards Out for Your Country

Hahaha, so I started this series in response to some WONDERFUL art of Roche with his Tits Out For Temeria. And obviously we need more of that, so I created a list of 24 characters who are asked to pose for some pinup art, all in the name of Gwent. So far, I’ve only finished Dandelion’s pose/the introduction, but I do plan to do as many of them as I physically can.

Gwent Game in Corvo Bianco

Wow, I didn’t even remember this WiP, so uh... clearly I haven’t worked on it in a while. But it’s Iorveth’s POV of how surprisingly comfortable he is in Corvo Bianco and Iorveth and Geralt get drunk and play gwent.

Zoltan/Jaskier/Priscilla

A giftfic for Wibbly that involves Zoltan being sappy about his bards and then Priscilla dominates them. Featuring all my headcanons about dwarven genitalia (two holes, one with a retractible dick).

Dijkstra fics

Noticing Roche’s Fucked Up Relationship

Anyone else randomly finding themselves shipping Dijkstra/Roche? No? Ah well. For this one Dijkstra observes Roche and sees a few too many reminders of himself with Vizimir, except Foltest is no Vizimir, and Roche clearly hasn’t learned to set up boundaries. Dijkstra feels weirdly compelled to help him figure that out before Foltest destroys him.

Developing Respect Fic

Also known as “let’s torture Roche 1.0!” This fic switches between the present, where Roche has woken up in a cell somewhere unknown and it brings back far too many memories for him to be entirely sure of what is happening when. In the past, he was captured by Redania while on a mission for Foltest, long before he was anyone notable. Dijkstra comes to visit, curious about this prisoner who refuses to break, to even tell them his name or confirm his country (but he has a Temerian tramp stamp, so they know lmao). So Dijkstra decides that this is not a man who will be broken through torture and decides to try conversation instead. The idea is to show them slowly gaining respect for each other, but like, obviously Roche is still a prisoner. Eventually, he’s returned to Temeria in a prisoner exchange, but meanwhile, in the present, Roche is all alone, with not even guards around and no way to free himself.

and that’s all!! I am... legitimately scared to count, tbh. This post is so fucking long, the number cannot be good for my heart. But, that said, please come talk to me about any ideas you find interesting!! Or anything you have questions about! 

And if you made it this far down the list... wow. Thank you, you rock.

[inktrailing]

I stole this from @the-kaedageist because it looked fun.

(Also me: “I’ll do this meme quickly...” ... *loses track of time*)

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

78 to my greatest surprise. I guess the only favor 2020 did for me was in writing.

2) What’s you total AO3 word count?

355,868. Holy...

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

10. Critical Role, CWDC, Men in Black (movies), Supernatural, Doctor Who, PotC. Spattering of some other stuff.

4) What are your top five fics by Kudos?

Unconventional, Men in Black, Jay/Kay, 1211 kudos... somehow

Fish Tales, Men in Black, Jay/Kay, 336 kudos

meet us where the night ends, Critical Role, Essek/Caleb, 298 kudos

I see death cresting over the hill, Critical Role, Essek/Caleb, 276 kudos

message, Critical Role, Essek/Caleb, 273 kudos

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I AM REALLY BAD ABOUT THIS. It’s literally on my AO3 profile that I’m bad about it. I try every now and then but I so often just get flustered and then don’t end up responding. Oftentimes I’m at work and just flailing during the rest of my shift and yeah /)_(\ Words Are Hard, says the writer.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

OH THERE’S A COUPLE. I would say Caught in the Wires (MIB, Jay/Kay); and you know my soul (CRc2, Essek/Caleb) probably are the two worst for bad end future fics. follow me into the golden wild (DW, Rose & the Moment) is my favorite of my bad end fics though lol. I fucking love that fic hahaha, and it’s one of my least read stories XD

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I don’t really. Not fic wise. A lot of my thought processing goes through basically using an RP format with myself (because I like icons, okay) so sometimes I’ll take wild concepts and play out scenarios with a bunch of characters and sometimes I’ll get shit out of it that I can actually use but other times I’ll have fun things that will not translate well to fic.

My fav of those was a Pokemon AU that y’know basically dragged a bunch of characters in and eventually they had to deal with a Problem like ya do while still ending up stranded. I enjoyed throwing Dean/Lucifer at that because Dean just ended up “ghost hunting” aka freeing/helping/catching ghosts and ending up with 70+ and Lucifer really only traveling around with a Zoroark and still hating humanity but helping mistreated and scapegoated pokemon.

I just really like Dean and his ghost army lmfao.

An actual crossover fic I have (and maybe one day could finish) was Arrow/The Dresden Files only because Paul Blackthorne except it uses book canon instead of TV canon because of Winter Court Bullshit so like whatever, I do what I want some days I guess \o_O/

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don’t... think so? I sometimes get minor disagreements on characterization but I typically write for myself and am pretty set in my ways so it’s like okay I accept your opinion but it’s not going to change anything.

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I cannot write smut to save my life.

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

If I have I definitely haven’t noticed.

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

stood too close to the flames (LoT, Mick/Len) was translated.

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No.

13) What’s you all-time favorite ship?

I ship so many things at the drop of a hat and so frequently go back to old ships to find new things to read even if it’s been a looooong time. I would say Jay/Kay since I’ve shipped and written them for the greatest length of time without it fading.

I do genuinely enjoy writing Dean/Lucifer though so go rarepairs I guess.

14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I fucking love I’ll Stop the Whole World (DW, Doctor/Master, 47k words) as I’ve pulled it up again after idk months to skim through but I suppose I learned a lot from writing lost in the lapse again and going backwards to any of my longer WIPs just hurts a bit? I want to figure it out because there’s so much I adore in it but there’s a lot of work to be done and having two monitors helps now but... I don’t have the energy to tear it apart and sew it back together.

15) What are your writing strength?

god idk

I’d like to say I’ve gotten better at I guess... balance? Juggling dialogue and action and scenery. I forced myself to work on scenery descriptions awhile back and I think it paid off?

I learned to take good notes, especially if it’s something with multiple plot threads that I need to keep track of. That’s what has made some of my older WIPs such a bitch because I didn’t do that and I’m like ????? Hey? Past Me? WHAT?!?! And retroactively trying to build a timeline is REALLY DIFFICULT ACTUALLY.

I do also think I keep my narrative parallels pretty tight. I’m sure a lot get missed because people aren’t staring at the same story that I am for months combing things over, but it delights me okay ;)

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

Finishing shit?! Well, I’ve gotten better at that over the course of the last year. Critical Role reaction fics helped A TON with that. Just spitting things out immediately after an episode.

I am a fucking perfectionist though. Like I’ll canon divergence all I want but mentally I need the basis of canon to weave into my writing even if it’s just for a single line. I like willfully breaking canon not ignorantly.

This means I either never get things done because I need to rewatch or I too meticulously obsess over something.

While I think I’m good with writing scenery I’m SUPER BAD at character descriptions?? I’m trying to?? Work on it?? But that’s one thing I’ve finally just been like okay I know I’m bad at this I just need to accept it and go on because if I get hung up on it then again, nothing’s gonna get posted.

I’ve learned that I vehemently hate the words “still” and “probably” because I white noise them even when doing intensive editing and I use them so damn much and now that I realize going back to read old things hurts my soul.

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Look I grew up primarily on writing Yu-Gi-Oh! fic. I had my Time with poor use of Japanese in fic. While I don’t have any fandoms now that I write for that it would be relevant... I can’t do it anymore. However, reading it doesn’t bother me, and it generally doesn’t jar me out of anything. Like it feels normal reading it in MDZS fics for one thing.

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I want to say some super wonky ~new cards~ Cardcaptor Sakura fic. But I think the first fandom I published for on FFN was likely YGO. Anything early than that I would have blacked out of my memory ahahaha.

19) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

lost in the lapse again took up my life for MONTHS and was really my pride and joy. It was the longest thing I’ve ever written and edited to my liking. I’m so so happy with how it came out and I’m shocked honestly that it has 118 kudos now because I really expected it to get maybe half that, tops. But it was definitely one of those I’m writing this for me, this encompasses what I want, and if others enjoy it that would be really nice!

Otherwise I think I’d say I see death cresting over the hill because it has so many elements I just enjoy rereading. I think it’s my favorite of my Critical Role fics too.

[alwaysupatnight]

13, 14, and 17!

13: Are there scenes that you cut already? Okay so. I’m gonna go with my most recent WIP which is the sex fails fic prompted to me by @yossariandawn. I haven’t really cut anything... mostly the scenes have been rearranged and worked differently.

As for Ghost... again I haven’t really cut anything. lol Mostly stuff just gets reworked or moved. But I don’t know what I’m doing with that fic most of the time. haha I hope I figure it out. :P

14: Tell us about an upcoming scene in your WIP, that you’re excited about. So for the sex fails fic, I’m most excited about the ending!! haha I figured out what I want to do with it last night and I’ve already written a bit of it out. But actually, I’m kinda cannibalizing another idea I had a looooong time ago for a sethkate oneshot I wanted to write... I DON’T WANNA GIVE ANYTHING AWAY BECAUSE IT’S FOR THE ENDING. But it’s gonna have a lot of fluffy feels. :D I CAN’T WAIT TO WRITE IT!!

For Ghost... In the next chapter I’m excited to write a scene between Kate and Scott actually. And well. There’s also a scene involving Seth and a female bartender that I think will be fun once I figure out how to write it... haha y’all are gonna hate me. >:)

17: Post the last line you wrote in your WIP Nothing about the sex fails fic is coherent yet and it’s a total fucking mess and it’s mostly dialogue and notes right now while I’m organizing my thoughts, but okay. Here’s a teeny tiny sneak peek at the sex fails fic:

“How about you make it up to me with some breakfast?”

He smiles. “Sure.”

And here’s the last bit I wrote of culebra Seth:

“Rough night?” the woman—Brianna, he reads on the name tag pinned to her graphic t-shirt—asks before pouring him another drink.

Seth brings the glass up to his mouth and snorts. He swallows down the alcohol in one, wincing at the familiar burn.

Ask Me: WIP Writing Asks

[det395]

fic breakdown, March 2020

okay, this might be weird or just a huge humblebrag and Ill own that, but I rlly like hearing ppl talk about their fics n I've been proud of how I've pushed outside of my writing comfort zone in the last half of march. I've definitely been one of those people looking for a distraction during this time and writing fic was that for me, so I wanted to ramble about it!

id love to see other people do this about any of their fics!

Jigsaw Falling into Place (3.4k), 03/19/20 

so I fell in love with my same-sex best friend in highschool, what a cliche. and ill relate to dan right now, it was love but it wasn’t happy love. I've been thinking about basing a fic on the experience since literally 2017 but it always felt a bit hard. then, suddenly it just came out of me! and after all this time, it was still cathartic. despite the changes I made to fit dnp, it’s freakily autobiographical lol. the title is a Radiohead song which always reminded me of her, just that feeling of missing out on someone and not being brave enough to stop them as they’re leaving. i don't write many angsty fics, so i’m really proud of the sense of dread that I think is instilled into this writing

Dreams Tonight (1.1k), 03/20/20

a timestamp from antisocialites watch a wilting flower! maybe it’s not the best, but that fic is my pride and joy. most popular and also longest thing I've ever written @ 70k, and writing it was a beautiful experience, nothing has ever flowed out of me quite like this one and I love how i handled the complicated relationships. i always wanted to fill in that time between the last 2 chapters but it was hard to capture the giddy feelings, so I added some wine and I think this is really cute. in hindsight, I do wish I put in more dog action, though. 

it’s sometimes hard for me to write cheesy things, when I spiral about following stereotypes about fanfiction, something that has been a big source of shame for me before, but honestly, i love it. the title is from the song which has the lyric ‘antisocialites watch a wilting flower’, from the album I listened to obsessively as I wrote this. very nostalgic now. definitely a time where i jump through hoops to connect my favourite songs to a story sgdhf

Love that I give (1.6k), 03/26/20

I also sometimes feel shame around writing smut, and it often makes me question my sexuality and spiral a bit. I'm trying to get past that because i think it’s super fun. this took me a looooong time to edit this fic to something i liked, but i think it was worth it! like i said, there’s worse things in the world than posting mediocre smut lmao. i like that i managed to place in a more emotional trope into the background of the shameless smut without making it angsty! based on DHL by Frank Ocean just because i began listening to it on repeat lol. yes all of my titles are just songs

Make Me Feel: part 3 (5.7k), 03/31/20

i began this fic in January of 2019 lmao. i started it when i was in a pretty confusing poly/open relationship, and now i am single, but i still feel like my perspective has grown so much and shaped the ending in the best way. i feel guilty for having such a long break in a WIP, but im so glad i got to write the ending now. i honestly don't even remember what i planned the ending to be in the beginning, but i like where it went. i only just posted so i haven’t gotten feedback so i hope everything i wanted to portray about love and communication and feelings shines through. im glad that i discussed both a sexy side and an emotional side to polyamory, i hope it shows the dimensions to poly relationship and neither follows tropes nor intentionally refuses them. I'm also proud that i got to write some more ~steamy things~ (esp one scene in the 3rd chapter which i love) and think about my relationship to sex and whatnot. title by Janelle monae, obvs lol.

here's the breakdown for the last half of march, when i was quarantined (date --> title --> starting word count --> ending word count --> word count/day/fic) (orange being WIP, green being posted, and purple being school essays I've handed in) courtesy of @jestbee’s wordcount tracker

I wrote 18297 words in total this month which is the first time I've reached (and surpassed) my monthly writing goal this year. on average, I wrote over 1000 words a day for the last 16 days, ranging from 93-2099 words/day

I was hoping to write a cathartic quarantined together fic this month too but I began to have a lot of doubts about it and I restarted it so maybe sometime soon it’ll be released lol

[fencer-x]

Hello! I’ve been looking for some good books to read and was wondering if you had any recommendations? I seem to just wander around the bookstore not knowing where to start.

I confess I’ve been reading nothing but fics on fics on fics (Drarry exclusively lol) for a good year now, so I haven’t touched original works in ages, though I have several of the latest installments of my favorite series waiting until I run out of good Drarry fic... (please...god...free me from this hell........)

I’ve made several recommendations for excellent M/M original works (you can always check out my reccs tag for any recommendations as well, though it includes original novels as well as manga and fic). I pretty much only read M/M fantasy (with the very VERY occasional M/M scifi or supernatural book thrown in), so I hope that’s what you’re looking for XD

Here’s a “””””””brief””””””” recap of series I particularly enjoy and go back to reread often, along with details on who might like these books and why. They’re all available via Amazon (most as Kindle reads, but some as paperbacks; some are also available from other sources as well in other formats if you prefer, for example, epub) and at reasonable prices (all but one series are under $10 per book, some under $5).

It is entirely possible you’ve read all of these, since I’ve gushed about them many a time before, and if that’s the case, I apologize I can’t rec you anything new! But maybe it’s been a while if you’ve read these before and it’s time for a reread!

The Lord of the White Hell series, by Ginn Hale - [GOODREADS BLURB: "Kiram Kir-Zaki may be considered a mechanist prodigy among his own people, but when he becomes the first Haldiim ever admitted to the prestigious Sagrada Academy, he is thrown into a world where power, superstition and swordplay outweigh even the most scholarly of achievements. But when the intimidation from his Cadeleonian classmates turns bloody, Kiram unexpectedly finds himself befriended by Javier Tornesal, the leader of a group of cardsharps, duelists and lotharios who call themselves Hellions. However Javier is a dangerous friend to have. Wielder of the White Hell and sole heir of a dukedom, he is surrounded by rumors of forbidden seductions, murder and damnation. His enemies are many and any one of his secrets could not only end his life but Kiram’s as well."] 

Read this if you like... magic and science working together, religion-borne racism and the difficulties of interracial as well as interreligious relationships, snarky aristocrats and a good mystery. And read the second book in the series definitely if you liked Yokozawa Takafumi no Baai or Sore Nari ni Shinken nan desu (I've found I really like stories where the rejected third-party from the main series gets his own happy ending, and Book 2 of this series is one such, building an entire new couple with the midway-through-the-story return of Book 1 couple so you get the best of both worlds.)

The Magpie Lord series by K.J.Charles - [GOODREADS BLURB: "Exiled to China for twenty years, Lucien Vaudrey never planned to return to England. But with the mysterious deaths of his father and brother, it seems the new Lord Crane has inherited an earldom. He’s also inherited his family’s enemies. He needs magical assistance, fast. He doesn’t expect it to turn up angry. Magician Stephen Day has good reason to hate Crane’s family. Unfortunately, it’s his job to deal with supernatural threats. Besides, the earl is unlike any aristocrat he’s ever met, with the tattoos, the attitude… and the way Crane seems determined to get him into bed. That’s definitely unusual. Soon Stephen is falling hard for the worst possible man, at the worst possible time. But Crane’s dangerous appeal isn’t the only thing rendering Stephen powerless. Evil pervades the house, a web of plots is closing round Crane, and if Stephen can’t find a way through it—they’re both going to die."] 

Read this if you like...magic and 19th century UK settings and snarky aristocrats who guard their hearts fiercely. The dynamic is fantastic, and the writing itself is gorgeous.

Whyborn & Griffin series, by Jordan Hawk - [GOODREADS BLURB: (Summary of Book 1) “Love is dangerous. Ever since the tragic death of the friend he adored, Percival Endicott Whyborne has ruthlessly suppressed any desire for another man. Instead, he spends his days studying dead languages at the museum where he works. So when handsome ex-Pinkerton Griffin Flaherty approaches him to translate a mysterious book, Whyborne wants to finish the job and get rid of the detective as quickly as possible. Griffin left the Pinkertons after the death of his partner. Now in business for himself, he must investigate the murder of a wealthy young man. His only clue: an encrypted book that once belonged to the victim. As the investigation draws them closer, Griffin’s rakish charm threatens to shatter Whyborne’s iron control. But when they uncover evidence of a powerful cult determined to rule the world, Whyborne must choose: to remain safely alone, or to risk everything for the man he loves.”] 

Read if you like... magic and the supernatural and 19th century US settings and Eldritch monsters and mystery and intrigue and adventure and era-appropriate treatment of homosexual relationships but with happy endings (and also couples of all types).

The Nightrunner series, by Lynn Flewelling - [GOODREADS BLURB: "When young Alec of Kerry is taken prisoner for a crime he didn’t commit, he is certain that his life is at an end. But one thing he never expected was his cellmate. Spy, rogue, thief, and noble, Seregil of Rhiminee is many things--none of them predictable. And when he offers to take on Alec as his apprentice, things may never be the same for either of them. Soon Alec is traveling roads he never knew existed, toward a war he never suspected was brewing. Before long he and Seregil are embroiled in a sinister plot that runs deeper than either can imagine, and that may cost them far more than their lives if they fail. But fortune is as unpredictable as Alec’s new mentor, and this time there just might be…Luck in the Shadows."] 

Read this if you like... magic, spies, fantastic female characters, adventure, and intrigue. Read also if you love looooong series, as it's complete at 7 books!

Scarlet and the White Wolf series, by Kirby Crow - [GOODREADS BLURB: "Scarlet of Lysia is an honest pedlar, a young merchant traveling the wild, undefended roads to support his aging parents. Liall, called the Wolf of Omara, is the handsome, world-weary chieftain of a tribe of bandits blocking a mountain road that Scarlet needs to cross. When Liall jokingly demands a carnal toll for the privilege, Scarlet refuses and an inventive battle of wills ensues, with disastrous results. Scarlet is convinced that Liall is a worthless, immoral rogue, but when the hostile countryside explodes into violence and Liall unexpectedly fights to save the lives of Scarlet's family, Scarlet is forced to admit that the Wolf is not the worst ally he could have, but what price will proud Scarlet ultimately have to pay for Liall's friendship?"] 

Read this if you like... weird twists on old fairy tales with amazing world-building, provided you're willing to put up with a little bit of a slog until the couple really gets on the same page.

Captive Prince, by C.S.Pacat - [GOODREADS BLURB: "Damen is a warrior hero to his people, and the rightful heir to the throne of Akielos, but when his half brother seizes power, Damen is captured, stripped of his identity, and sent to serve the prince of an enemy nation as a pleasure slave. Beautiful, manipulative and deadly, his new master Prince Laurent epitomizes the worst of the court at Vere. But in the lethal political web of the Veretian court, nothing is as it seems, and when Damen finds himself caught up in a play for the throne, he must work together with Laurent to survive and save his country. For Damen, there is just one rule: never, ever reveal his true identity. Because the one man Damen needs is the one man who has more reason to hate him than anyone else..."] 

Read this if you like... phenomenal skill with the written word (I mean REALLY TOP NOTCH), fantastic characters with real evolution in relationships, amazingly intricate political intrigue (guaranteed to keep you guessing the whole way), enemies-to-friends-to-"I think if I gave you my heart, you would treat it tenderly"-to-...well, I won't spoil things 8D Please note the 'slavery' aspect that is heavily featured in Book 1. There is NO RAPE between the main characters, but there are forced sexual scenes between Damen and another minor character (n.b. minor as in not major, not minor as in a kid), and well, Laurent just isn't a very kind 'master', nor does he pretend to be. This is not your typical 'omg the slave falls in love with the master and vice versa!!' dreck, but do be aware that the first book deals intimately with those themes as Damen must play his part.

Wytch Kings series, by Jaye McKenna - [GOODREADS BLURB: (Summary of Book 1) "Prince Garrik is the Heir Presumptive of Altan, next in line to be crowned Wytch King. There’s only one problem: in order for Garrik to be crowned, he must possess Wytch power of his own, and thus far, whatever power Garrik might possess has shown no sign of awakening. As things stand, it is Garrik’s younger brother, Jaire — a dreamer completely unsuited to wear the crown — who will take the throne after their father. Concerned about the future of his kingdom, the Wytch King demands that Garrik’s power be forcibly awakened. Hoping to protect his brother from the burden of rule, Garrik allows the attempt — with disastrous results. Now, Garrik must learn to control the fiery dragon that rages within him before he destroys everything he loves. Wytch Master Ilya has been alone for years. Learning to control the icy beast slumbering within him has already cost him his family and his lover, and Ilya will never open himself up to that kind of pain again. Summoned to Altan to avert disaster if he can, Ilya has no intention of allowing anyone to thaw the ice in his heart. When he meets Prince Garrik, sparks fly, and Ilya finds himself fighting feelings he thought he'd buried, long ago. Can Garrik’s fire melt Ilya’s icy heart? Or will Ilya be forced to use his ice to quench the flames that burn within Garrik once and for all?"] 

Read if you like... DRAGON SHIFTERS. There's really not much more I can say to encourage you to read this series (there are five so far!) other than to say HERE THERE BE DRAGONS, AND LOTS OF THEM, AND HOT GUYS WHO TRANSFORM INTO THEM. The plots are interwoven, with side characters from previous books showing up as MCs in subsequent ones, so you get to see major characters fleshed out, even if not right away.

Mermen of Ea series, by Shira Anthony - [GOODREADS BLURB: (Summary of Book 1) "Taren Laxley has never known anything but life as a slave. When a lusty pirate kidnaps him and holds him prisoner on his ship, Taren embraces the chance to realize his dream of a seagoing life. Not only does the pirate captain offer him freedom in exchange for three years of labor and sexual servitude, but the pleasures Taren finds when he joins the captain and first mate in bed far surpass his greatest fantasies. Then, during a storm, Taren dives overboard to save another sailor and is lost at sea. He’s rescued by Ian Dunaidh, the enigmatic and seemingly ageless captain of a rival ship, the Phantom, and Taren feels an overwhelming attraction to Ian that Ian appears to share. Soon Taren learns a secret that will change his life forever: Ian and his people are Ea, shape-shifting merfolk… and Taren is one of them too. Bound to each other by a fierce passion neither can explain or deny, Taren and Ian are soon embroiled in a war and forced to fight for a future—not only for themselves but for all their kind."] 

Read if you like... MERMEN SEX. Again, not much more I can say to encourage you to read this XD There's mermen having sex in mer form, there's mermen having sex in human form, there's just lots of mermen and rather a lot of sex too. But there's also interesting plot! Though lbr if you're going to read this, it's for the mermen XD

[that-sokovian-bastard]

please add me to the bruce list!

sure! I’m warning you though I haven’t written for him in a looooong time lol

[writsgrimmyblog]

WIP Folder Meme

My darling friend @gracerene09 tagged me to do this which I’m answering from here instead of my other blog for ease because I’m going through my unanswered meme tags this morning. Thank you, lovely!

The Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous.

I’ve got so many fucking WIPs I had to put this under a cut. HOW FUN. I love listing out my half-completed projects so I can see how little progress I have made with any of them.

Fest WIPs

HD Owlpost 2018 #1

HD Owlpost 2018 #2

HD Erised 2018 

Next Gen Fest 2018 

Sirius Black Fest 2018 

Secret Snarry Swap 2018 

Tomlinshaw Exchange 2018 

Pretty self-explanatory. These are all fests I am writing for that post between now and the end of this year that I haven’t submitted my fics for yet. Some of which may be overdue :/

Harry Potter General WIPs

Drarry - Confessions

Drarry - Sanctify

Drarry - First Time

Drapery

Jeddy - 7 Minutes in Heaven 

Jeddy - First Kiss

Snarry - Voice Kink

Snarry - LGBT Politics

Snarry - Why the Caged Bird Sings

Wolfstar - American Road Trip

The first two Drarry fics are the second and third parts to Bedroom Hymns. 

The ‘first time’ Drarry is pretty self-explanatory.

The Drapery (Snape/Harry/Draco) is a project I’m planning to work on for 2019 which is non-fest related and hopefully a collab with an artist. 

The Jeddy and the first Snarry are pretty much what they say on the tin. 

The second Snarry is a long project I’ve been working on which brings LGBT politics into the wizarding world and explores themes of homophobia/internalised homophobia through the lens of a cross-generational relationship, i.e. how ones experience might differ based on the time they were born.

Why the Caged Bird Sings is a veela Snape fic I wrote ages ago (where it’s his voice that holds the veela allure as opposed to his looks, kind of like a siren thing) that I am considering re-working and putting up on AO3. 

The Wolfstar road trip fic is what I was originally working on for Wolfstar Big Bang, about Sirius and Remus on a road trip in 1979, discovering America’s LGBT spaces, coming of age, coming out and so on. I sadly didn’t finish it but it’s not abandoned.

Radio One RPF / One Direction

50 Reasons - Because Niall Can’t Keep a Secret

50 Reasons - Because Cricket is Boring

50 Reasons - Because He’s In A Rut (sequel to Because He’s In Heat)

50 Reasons - Because Louis Interrupts Bake Off

50 Reasons - Because Louis Doesn’t Know How to Play the Trumpet

Tomlinshaw - Hook-Up App 

Tomlinshaw - Champagne Supernova 

Tomlinshaw - Tonight You’re Perfect

Tomlinshaw - God’s Own Country

Tomlinshaw - The Hogwarts Series

Thirteen - Stylinshaw Doctor Who AU

Gryles - Sugar Daddy

Gryles - Kink Exploration

Stylinshaw - Medicine 

SO MANY WIPS. God, I need to finish something. 

The 50 Reasons ones are from my Tomlinshaw 50 Reasons to Have Sex series which currently only has three reasons, ha ha. Although I have more prompts than this, these are the ones that are actually WIPs that have some significant progress. Mission for 2019 is to get these done, even though there’s no huge rush as each fic within the series is a standalone.

The Hook-Up App fic is the one where Nick and Louis start talking via a hook-up app and things progress from there. It’s nearly finished and I’m excited about posting that. 

Champagne Supernova is a non-famous LA AU where Louis is rich, bored and missing home, and Nick is on his holidays. They meet in a record store and argue over who gets to buy the last copy of Oasis’s What’s the Story. The only solution is for Nick to come back to Louis’s to listen to it. WHAT ON EARTH COULD HAPPEN NEXT? It’s really anyone’s guess ;-)

Tonight You’re Perfect is an angsty, Nick is scared of commitment kind of thing. I wanted the focus of this to be Nick’s angsting rather than Louis’s.

God’s Own Country is a Tomlinshaw loosely inspired by the film. 

The Hogwarts Series is the follow up to Little Lion Man. So much to explore in this next installment! I’m really excited about getting into this next year.

Thirteen. MY DOCTOR WHO AU. With Nick as the thirteenth doctor, Louis as the companion and Harry as a Captain Jack sort of figure. I picked that up again recently, but it’s going to be looooong so I have no idea when it will get finished and I don’t want to start posting another WIP until the majority of it is written so I can post chapters consistently instead of with large swathes of time between them, as it makes me really anxious. I now have @shiftylinguini and @candybarrnerd cheering me on with it though and have started my Doctor Who rewatch so hopefully that will help! 

I think the others are pretty self-explanatory, LOL. I basically want to write a loooooong, super kinky Gryles. It’s in progress ;-)

Miscellaneous 

Festive 500s Fills

Destiel

My document with the fills I’m working on for my Festive 500s a fic a day throughout December, and a longer, tropey Destiel I’ve been poking around at after trying my hand at them for the first time this year with Baby Love.

Tagging: @shiftylinguini, @candybarrnerd, @silveredsound, @nightwideopen, @disgruntledkittenface, @lqtraintracks, @bixgirl1 and @magicalrocketships if you care to do this and haven’t done so already.

[jimlingss]

Will there be any smut in the final chapter of the deli diaries? 😶😶

Honestly, I still haven’t decided. I haven’t written the last chapter yet either lol but I’m leaning towards probably not, just because #1 - have you seen my horrible smut writing skills? #2 - I kind of want to keep the innocent/pure tone I got going in the story #3 - let’s be honest here. those two are gonna take a looooong time before they ever have sex hahahhaa I’m guessing by the 6th month mark, there would be like heavy makeouts and touching OVER clothes, 7th month mark would be heavy petting, 9th month mark would be anything CLOSE to oral and they’d finally bang it out by a year after their first date hahahaha HAVE YOU SEEN JIMIN?! HE BARELY SURVIVED AFTER ONE KISS AND GETTING A DATE, ALRIGHT? LET THE KID BREATHE FOR A SEC HAHAH

[troglobite]

met twice today w one of my superiors/bosses/whatever who i actually like (i like 2/3 of them, and unfortunately they’re the two who have no bearing on my contract or hours, etc.)

and anyway it was just nice to talk to him again after a LOOOOONG time of not being able/allowed to join in on staff meetings, etc. 

but anyway by far the most important or interesting thing that stuck out to me was like--

okay, so he does these “written observations” of our work. it just means like he chooses one of our previous appointments where we provide written feedback, he goes over it (previously it was with us, but now i think he’s just gonna. write up something about it? in response? and send it to us?), and then like. that’s it. sort of a performance review, but way lower stakes. 

i only ever had one meeting w him about that while i was working there as a student and in person. haven’t had one since. 

and the second mtg i had w him today was bc i asked to talk, and part of it was abt that (for myself and some other tutors) 

AND ANYWAY

he asked if i would do an observation for/of him

and i was like ?!?!!? whoa. okay. yeah. cool. thank you. 

bc like he trusts me and clearly thinks highly of me which like. anyway i’m moving on now. lol

but the part that got to me was he was explaining that shit’s been Rough the last few months & he feels like his tutoring isn’t up to par lately. and so he looks at the schedule and sees emptiness and is like “fuck. i’m doing something wrong. oh no.”

and so i just had a similar moment checking my schedule for tomorrow

i’d previously had 2 appts w one of my regulars scheduled for tomorrow, but she canceled. i had an appt w her today & after seeing those appts for tomorrow canceled, i was like FUCK. i fucked up! my feedback was terrible! i did something wrong!

of course in my instance i looked ahead and saw that actually she’d scheduled more appointments for later this week and also next week. so actually she canceled because she was like “lol no fucking way i’m getting my next draft done in time”

so there’s that relief.

but i’ve 100000% worried that i pissed off a student, or said something very wrong, or worried abt cancelations and empty slots. 

so it’s. comforting in that “it’s not just you” sort of way. that he/my superior also feels that way. 

(which is also funny bc we had trouble scheduling our second mtg today bc his schedule got filled up with student appts lol)

so anyway i just had that moment of looking at the schedule and thinking FUCK! OH NO! and realized he does that too and i was like. ah. yes. okay.

but also the other part of it is that it just goes to show why i like him and respect him and feel like i can actually talk to him honestly about things at work. 

like he cares. this guy has a phd iirc, has taught grammar and shit for YEARS, specializes in helping ELLs, and is just like. so experienced and knowledgeable and is also just not a huge prescriptive dick about it. 

so for him to worry that he’s underperforming and disappointing students and it’s being reflected in some empty days on his schedule--it’s like. oh. you’re both a decent person and also this kind of insecurity and fear seems par for the course when you actually care about the work you do and how it affects people.

also he gave me the applause react in zoom bc i knew what an appositive phrase was. lol so that was fun. 

[heyhosam]

I look like all you need

A/N: ok, so… woah, hello? It’s me, here I am after a looooong break. I’m really nervous to post this because I haven’t written anything for months and idk I feel like I’m back at square one, when I started writing and had no clue to what I was doing…So I request for constructive criticism if you find mistakes. I’m trying to get into writing again, because I’ve missed it so much, specially interacting with you guys, so hopefully this story will be the first one of more to come. I’m aware of the requests I have to work on, I haven’t forgotten about you guys, I promise I’m working on them so my next releases will be those requested stories.

About this story; I’ve been following for a while a youtuber that has been documenting her transitioning progress and I found it so inspiring that I wanted to write about it. Transgender ppl —regardless of if they are transitioning or not— go through such hardships and they are always belittled or ignored, mostly dehumanized. They have my utmost respect and I’m really proud of all of them for battling with their inner demons on daily basis, and fighting against a society that most of the time don’t think they are ppl deserving of respect and human rights.

I tried to make this story with the utmost care and love in the world, is not my intention to offend anyone but if there is anything that is offensive to you or that you consider I’m explaining wrong tell me and I will change it or simply delete the story. Hopefully you all will love reading it as much as I loved creating it.

I found an interesting article/video talking about MTF surgery, take a look if you aren’t grossed out with this kind of things (the video is an animated simulation, there is no blood nor anything explicit)

AO3

I know my A/N are always super long lol I’m sorry.This said, ENJOY!

Jungkook first sees her at the café near campus, that one in which they serve the cheapest, but largest cups of caffeine that have helped him more than once survive finals week.

He’s waiting for his turn, while scrolling down his phone lazily as the lady in front of him takes forever to decide what to order, when he hears a kid yell from somewhere in the shop; it’s not like Jungkook’s really disturbed by it, but the hollering is loud enough to distract him from his previous tedious task and turn his head towards the source of the noise and then— then the world stops as his eyes find her, his heart skips a beat.

She’s so beautiful. She looks so pretty just sitting down on her own, head tilted down to focus on the book on her hands. Shy rays of sunshine glow around her from the nearest window, her dark brown hair sitting on her shoulders gently, some curly strands tucked behind her ear probably to stop them from falling to her face so she can read in peace. Round and rosy cheeks, big glasses sitting at the tip of her cute button nose, plump and glossy lips; although she doesn’t look like the really thin type, she looks petite with the oversized beige sweater she’s wearing.

The urge to simply go there and hug her is so strong and overwhelming that Jungkook forgets how to breath properly for a second.

“Uhm— excuse me?”

Jungkook snaps back to reality, turning his head to the barista looking curiously at him and blushes, noticing it was him now holding back the line.

“Oh, yes— sorry.” he orders his usual coffee with extra vanilla cream and when he’s about to hand the bills he stops, mind going back to the cute -beautiful, gorgeous, perfect- girl sitting alone at the back of the café with, maybe, and empty cup of coffee.

Would it be too weird if he bought her a cup of coffee? Probably, his mind unhelpfully supplies. But she is so pretty, the prettiest he’s ever seen, and the helpless romantic in him can’t fathom the thought of walking out the cafe without giving it a chance, without at least trying to make her smile and see the world brighten up a little bit.

“Do you know what was her order?” he asks shyly, pointing discreetly at the girl. The barista looks at her with big owlish eyes full of curiosity, then back at Jungkook and the little smirk that forms on his lips has Jungkook immediately regretting he had asked.

“Yes, she is a regular,” he says amused, finger already tapping on the screen, “Do you want to order another one for her?”

Jungkook doesn’t find his voice to respond, he simply nods with a blush on his cheeks and then hands the bills.

It takes him another ten minutes to find the courage to approach her, period of time in which he tries his best to ignore the barista amusedly staring at him. He is Jeon Jungkook, for fucks’ sake— he has no troubles when it comes to flirting, to get a girl battling her eyelashes at him in less than five minutes. It’s really frustrating how he seems to be unable to do something as simple as approach her with a casual ‘hey’. He has done it before, too many times he’s lost count. But here again, he has never come across such a pretty girl.

When he finally nears her table he has forgotten what he had planned to say, and instead of saying something that will sound cool and interesting he chokes out a pathetic hello.

He tries to stay composed as she looks up from her book -which Jungkook recognises to be one of his favourite mangas- and blinks confusedly, but really cutely, at him.

“Hello.” she says, voice gentle but hesitant. Jungkook can see she has tensed up and nervousness pumps through his veins, now realising how weird it must be from her point of view a complete stranger has bought her a drink and approached her table.

“Uh— sorry, I just—“ he stutters out, feeling like a complete idiot by standing there with a cup of coffee on each hand and just owlishly blinking at her. “I thought— well, I thought that maybe you would like another coffee?”

She stares silently at him, and Jungkook cringes just thinking of what must be going through her head right now as she studies him. He must look like a weirdo, a total creep. Yikes.

“Ok, let me explain,” he says before she can answer, “I just saw you and I thought you were pretty and— I don’t know, guess I just wanted an excuse to talk to you. I’m sorry if I’m disturbing you I can just go away as if nothing happened. I’m really sorry.”

He’s about to turn around and run out the cafeteria like the loser he is when she stops him with a soft ‘wait’ dropping from her very pretty lips.

“You didn’t bother me,” she mumbles before licking her lips, “just took me by surprise because this kind of situations aren’t something common for me.”

“But you are so pretty.” Jungkook says before he can stop himself and he cringes again. He has to stop creeping her out if he really wants a chance to get to know her.

“Thank you,” she says shyly, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear, and Jungkook almost coos out loud at how cute she is.

“Uhm- do you mind if I sit with you?” he says with a hopeful lilt, maybe a bit too desperate if the way she looks up curiously at him is anything to go by.

She studies him, most likely hesitant to let a stranger sit with her; honestly, Jungkook can’t blame her for being wary of him.

“Okay.” she finally concedes, pushing her glasses up her nose with two fingers. Seriously, Jungkook needs to chill, because that simple motion had his heart stuttering inside his chest.

He sits, awkwardly clearing his throat while handing her the drink, finding really hard to maintain eye contact with her. “I asked the barista what was your drink.”

“Ah, thank you.” she says, briefly glancing back to where said barista rests at the counter at the other end of the café. “You really didn’t have to go through all that trouble to buy me a drink.”

“It’s fine, I really wanted to.”

They stay in silence for a minute, shy glances and awkward atmosphere before Jungkook realises he hasn’t introduced himself yet.

“I’m Jungkook, by the way.”

“Yeah, I know.” she says with a soft smile while stirring her coffee, Jungkook wonders if he put the perfect amount of sugar on it or not. She seems the type to like sweet stuff, but maybe Jungkook got it all wrong.“You are quite famous around campus, being part of the football team.”

“Oh, am I?” he laughs nervously while scratching at the back of his neck. Given any other situation, reached this point he would show off about his body or his achievements; he knows girls usually like the athletic type with muscles at all the right places, but somehow the fact that she knows about him makes him giddy with nerves. Because even if he’s popular in a good way, unpleasant rumours always arise and he doesn’t know what must have reached her ears.

“I’m not that much into sports, but I’ve heard a lot about you,” she says, corner of her lips turned up slightly and that makes Jungkook relax a bit, maybe she hasn’t heard anything bad.

“You could come see one of our games, someday,” says Jungkook with a shrug, trying to sound as casual as possible while hiding the hopeful sparkle on his eyes.  That makes her chuckle, which has Jungkook visibly perking up, proud of himself for finally making her smile.

“I will think about that,” she says and then takes a gulp of her coffee, frowning slightly just after. And it’s just this easy to have Jungkook deflating on his seat.

“What, is it not good? Too much sugar?” he asks panicked, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. Damn, he knew he should have added just one spoonful.

“No, no!” she says quickly, shaking her hand a bit flustered and if Jungkook weren’t sad because he had managed to fuck up her drink he would be dying at her cuteness. “it’s just— it’s a bit…cold.”

If Jungkook thought of dying of embarrassment before, now he just wishes he could just jump off the planet and let the aliens dismember his body.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry—“ he blabbers out, flustered and cheeks flushed red, “I — Fuck, I’m a mess, I’m really sorry. It’s just that it took me a while to finally approach you—“

“It’s okay.” she laughs, truly laughs, with genuine mirth on her eyes and Jungkook can’t do anything but stare dumbly at her, heart fluttering.

“I can order a new one.” he says, already standing up but she stops him, assures him it’s fine and to prover her point she sips on it again, this time a larger gulp.

She finally introduces herself a minute later —Park Jimin, 24 years old. Psychology major on her last year; Jungkook saves the data on his head—, shyly laughing for forgetting to do so and Jungkook is already really infatuated with all her antics: the way she scrunches her nose slightly while pushing her glasses back up, how her hand covers her mouth while laughing at one of his dumb jokes, or how she tucks her hair away so delicately behind her ears.

Jimin is so pretty, inside and out, a bubbly personality once she finally opens up to him, visibly perking up when he points out the manga on top of the table, or when he mentions he’s into hero movies as well.

And it’s with another number saved on his phone and the promise to text each other that Jungkook gets back to his apartment, dumb smile included.

Jimin chuckles softly at the latest dumb meme Jungkook has sent, muffling the sound the best she can with one hand on her mouth. Still, Taehyung catches on it and throws a pen that hits her straight on her forehead.

“What was that for?” she grumbles with a pout, rubbing at the damaged zone.

“You’ve been glued to your phone for the past hour,” says Taehyung making grabby hands for her to hand his pen back. “We are supposed to be studying, remember?”

“Since when are you so into studying.” she says and throws the offending object back at him, grinning when it hits him on the face as well.

“Yoonji will beat my ass if I fail another test.” he says rubbing at his cheek with a fat pout, if it’s because it hurt or because he doesn’t want to suffer the wrath of his girlfriend, Jimin doesn’t know. “Who are you texting with, anyways? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so focused on your phone before.”

“Just… a friend,” she says with a shrug, staring down at her books to feign nonchalance. But Jimin sometimes forgets Taehyung knows everything about her, too much time spent together has that, so he is quick to catch on the slight change of her voice when she muttered the last word.

“Just a friend, my ass,” he says, a bit too loudly for a quiet environment such as a library, a couple of students from a near spot turn their heads to them.

She presses a finger to her lips to shush him before staring down to her books again. She feels her phone vibrate on her lap and she has to fight with herself to not check the new messages right then.

“Who is it? An admirer?” Taehyung asks again, leaning forward as if he could pry on her phone by simply stretching his neck. “Is someone wooing my Jiminnie?

“No one,” she lies, again, curling on herself flustered and embarrassed at the fact that she has been caught red handed. Taehyung is relentless, won’t stop asking questions until he has what he wants.

Jimin doesn’t want to be questioned about it, because she really doesn’t know what to say, being honest. They have been texting for the past month, getting to know more about each other between dumb jokes and stupid memes. Jungkook is a real dork, sometimes has her laughing so much her stomach hurts, but he is also sweet and caring, listens to her with no complains whenever she lets the walls down and rambles. And then, there are those moments in which Jungkook flirts, and Jimin does so as well, giggling to herself with red cheeks. And it��s equals parts sweet end exciting and scary; scary, because she doesn’t know if it will last or if this, whatever it is, will lead to anything at all.

Jimin just knows that she likes him. A lot. Maybe too much.

“Your blush tells me you are being courted indeed,” says Taehyung, lips stretched in a thin line, making his cheeks bundle up. Yoonji would coo at him, pinch his cheeks. Jimin just feels like slapping her best friend in the face. With a chair.

“He’s just someone I met.” she says, finally giving up. She knows Taehyung will get the information out of her sooner or later. They really have no secrets for each other.

“Met where, when?” questions Taehyung, now with a frown deeper than the ocean. She knows he’s wary of any boy trying to flirt with her. Honestly, after all she’s been through, so is she. “You didn’t tell me about it.”

“Honestly, I didn’t think he would stay around for this long,” she says, lowering her voice when someone from across the room shushes them, “He approached me at the café we usually go to, bought me a drink and we chatted for a little bit, been texting since then.”

Taehyung hums, eyes squinted at her, just staring for what feels like an eternity. Jimin squirms a bit uncomfortable on her chair, the vibration of her phone reminding her she hasn’t replied to him yet.

“You like him.” sates Taehyung. Jimin would like to deny it, she has the ‘no’ at the tip of her tongue, but her cheeks betray her, displaying a flustered red that speaks louder for her.

“Maybe.” she admits “But he will grow tired of me with time, like every other boy that has tried something.” she adds with a shrug, trying to not show how the thought of Jungkook dropping her breaks her heart.

Jimin hears Taehyung sigh and when she stares up at him, he’s looking sympathetically at her. They have been through this kind of situation before: a cute boy trying something on Jimin and when he sees that her shell is a bit too hard to crack he leaves. The first time really hurt, because she liked him a lot. The others stung as well, but she just pretended to not be affected by it.

But Jungkook is another story. He’s persistent, seems really interested in her even when she was being evasive when they started texting. She hates the fact that her hopes are going up with Jungkook, because the fear of such a sweet boy leaving her once he knows her secret haunts her.

“Just try to not get too attached to him, just in case.” says Taehyung after a while as he rolls around his pastel purple pen with his fingers, the same colour of his hair this month. “And if by any chance he hurts you, I’ll beat his ass.”

Jimin cracks a smile, heart swelling with fondness towards her friend. “You know you can’t hurt a fly.” she teases despite loving this protective side of him.

“Maybe, but Yoonji is not so sweet.”

At that Jimin agrees.

Jungkook stares at his phone for the hundredth time, sighing frustrated when only two minutes passed since the last time he checked.

He’s early by half an hour, and it just proves his greediness and lack of self-control when it comes to Jimin. He has never arrived early to a date, but he had started pacing around the apartment, asking his roommate for clothing advice so many times that Yugyemon ended up kicking him out, fed up with his anxious ass.

So yes, Jungkook is early and nervous but dressed with an outfit that will, hopefully, make Jimin weak on the knees: his favourite black and very tight jeans, a stripped shirt and a bomber jacket. Killer look; the perfect combination of bad boy with a sweet side.

In the end it’s Jungkook who chokes on his spit at the sight of her, recurring situation that he will have to work hard on if he doesn’t want to keep embarrassing himself in front of her. She looks stunning with a  denim skirt and a black sweater tucked in. It’s so simple but she pulls it off as if it were brand clothes displayed by a model.

“Hi.” she says shyly, tucking her hair behind her ear, curly for the night. Jungkook notices a faint blush on her cheeks, maybe because of the chilly air or maybe because she has caught on Jungkook’s blatant stare- he couldn’t help it, her thighs are thick and on full display and he is a simple man. Regardless of the reason, she looks beautiful.

“Hey,” he says awestruck, being unable to hold back his smile, “you look so pretty.”

She giggles, ducking her head down in embarrassment with a mumbled ’thank you’ that has Jungkook smiling wider. That blush was indeed his doing. She’s so cute.

It’s awkward at first, but Jungkook manages to break through his nervousness and starts being his dumb self, cracking jokes here and there, and has Jimin relaxing in no time. The fact that Jimin seemed to be nervous about this encounter has his hopes going up. They hadn’t specified it was a date, Jungkook somehow managed to convince Jimin into meeting him to watch a football game on TV with the pretence of giving her knowledge about it for when she goes to watch one of the uni’s team. She had agreed so easily that Jungkook was left stunned blinking down at his screen like an idiot until Yugyeom hit the back of his head.

So, even if he wants it to be a date, he knows it’s not officially a date. He has to keep his cool.

“I’m sorry if I’m boring you,”  says Jungkook, hiding his insecurity behind his a smile. He has been blabbering for the past hour and she has done nothing but listen attentively, nodding and smiling, asked very few questions that got Jungkook giving a full essay about football strategies. “I get carried away whenever sports are involved.”

“No, it’s fine,” she assures him before gulping down the last remains of her beer in one gulp. Jungkook had been pleasantly surprised when she asked for a beer and greasy snacks to accompany it. Maybe because he’s used at going out with the kind of girls that enjoy more a salad than a good greasy meal and put disgusted faces when he almost swallows a bunch of fries in one go. The girls he’s dated so far go for the composed and pretty image, trying their best to impress him with the finesse and elegance they think he will like, when the only thing Jungkook wants is for them to be natural and enjoy themselves. There is nothing more attractive to him than a pretty girl enjoying her food, drinking beer with no care and giving zero fucks if her lipstick is none existent by now. He’s a simple man.

“It’s cute to see you so hyped about this.” she adds with a smile, and Jungkook’s brain short-circuits, he can only laugh like a hyena for lack of anything else to say at her words. Cute, she thinks I’m cute.

“Hopefully I haven’t ruined football and you will like go see me play, someday,” he says, changing a bit their conversation so he has time to calm down his fluttering heart. Besides, he wants to show off, prove how good he is at something he loves, impress her when he scores points for his team and the whole stadium chants his name. He want her to stare proudly at him.

She smiles before pushing her glasses up her nose, an habit, a lovely habit that Jungkook has grown so fond of within the last hours,“Of course not, I would love to go see you play.”

The way she says it has Jungkook perking up. She sounds genuine, like she really wants to go and cheer for him.

“Is it a promise?” he extends his hand to her, pinky up and expectant. He knows he looks childish by doing this, but fuck if he cares. He would love to see her cheer for him, and his brain forms in his head Jimin wearing his jacket with his name on it while screaming his name so the whole stadium would know she’s there for him. Fuck, so beautiful.

She seems surprised by his acts, lets out cute giggle and extends her hand to him, immediately curling her pinky around Jungkook’s.

“It’s a promise.”

And this is the moment Jungkook thinks death could take him right there and right now and he would not care because her hand is so small, not to mention the size of her finger compared to his own, her skin soft at the touch; it’s only their pinkies touching, but Jungkook feels like they were meant for each other, that their hands were created to hold each other. Fuck, he’s so whipped already.

“I like you.” he blurts out and when he notices what he’s said he releases her hand as if he got struck by an electric shock, cheeks blushing deep red and ears burning with embarrassment. “Shit— I mean, that I like you would want to come— to watch me play. Shit, I…”

He just stops talking, there is no save; mom if you can hear me, just know that I love you.

He has fucked up by randomly confessing, they have been talking just for a month. Heck, this isn’t even an official date. His dumb ass couldn’t even wait after their first date. All the happiness he felt seconds ago vanishes into the void.

“I— I like you too.” she says softly, head ducked down, fingers tugging at the hem of her black sweater. He stares at her dumbly, watches as her eyes waver to the side and bites her bottom lip.

“You… do?” he asks bewildered. He was hopeful, that’s for sure, but seeing her act distant towards him more than once sine they met always made him hesitant. The rational part of his brain always said that she was the kind of sweet girl that would keep talking to him just to be nice, polite, but wasn’t really interested in him in the end. Becuase Jungkook is aware he’s kind of the dumb and muscly type that girls like Jimin —smart, beautiful— wouldn’t want as a boyfriend.

She inhales deeply, holds it for two seconds and releases slowly. She looks nervous, almost afraid. That has Jungkook curious and worried.

“I do,” she says, now staring at him with determination in her eyes, as if she is forcing herself to say it out loud. “I do like you a lot, you are so funny and sweet. I feel comfortable when we talk, like I can be myself without worrying too much, which is a big issue with me…”

“You can relax around me,” he says, cupping her hands with both of his in a sprout of braveness. “I care a lot about you, just want to make you happy.”

She smiles, a genuine and beautiful smile that has his own lips mirroring hers. She seems to relax, interlaces loosely their fingers together and Jungkook feels she has allowed him to walk through the first door of the walls surrounding her heart.

They leave long after the football game had ended, too engrossed in talking about whatever came to mind they forgot they were supposed to return home for the night.

Jungkook being the gentleman that he is, walks her home, a students residence not that far from his own shared apartment, fingers interlaced and walking pretty close to each other.

“I enjoyed tonight so much,” she says when they reach her building. She has been smiling the entire walk back home, making Jungkook all soft on the inside.

“I’m glad to hear that.” Jungkook notices their hands are still closed around each other’s, as if none of them wants to let go just yet. She feels so warm, so perfect.

They stare at each other for what feels so long until she breaks eye contact, releasing and embarrassed giggle and squeezing his hand. He instinctively pulls her closer and before he can regret even thinking about it he leans forward and pecks her cheek.

The moment is so sweet, so soft, he knows if Yugyeom were here he would tease him to no end for being so whipped for a girl he has just met. But it’s Jimin. Tender, bubbly, sweet Jimin. She pulls out a side of him he didn’t know he had, and he loves it. He just enjoys being with her so much he wants it to never end.

While he’s distracted admiring her, she cups the back of his head and drops a kiss on his lips. It’s short, but enough to leave Jungkook thinking he had conquered the world. If he feels like this with just a peck he’s not sure he is going to survive a full make-out session.

“Text me when you get home,” she says, a lovely shade of red covering her cheeks, probably the same that covers Jungkook’s own right now.

“I can’t believe you are dumping me,” says Taehyung fake-crying while resting his head on Yoonji’s shoulder. She just pats his head with one hand while taking a sip of her coffee, giving no shits her boyfriend is asking for attention. Everyone knows Yoonji only functions if she has had her daily dose of caffeine.

“My goodness, you are so dramatic,” says Jimin rolling her eyes. “I wish I could dump your sorry ass that easily.”

“See? she wants me gone Yoon-yoon.” he says poking at her side. Yoonji gives Jimin a long unblinking stare, that would scare everyone else but that Jimin is pretty much used to, before uttering the first words of the morning.

“Aren’t you happy your Jiminnie is finally dating someone decent?” she asks, raising an eyebrow at him. Jimin can see the fondness on her stare and hope she and Jungkook look that cute together. “Look at her, she’s all rosy cheeks and gross giggles whenever Jungkook is brought up.”

“Someone decent?” says Taehyung outraged, lifting his head to stare at her, as if her girlfriend had just bretrayed him, “We don’t know him.”

“Isn’t what this whole meeting thing today is about?,” mumbles Jimin around the rim of her coffee cup, ignoring Yoonji’s previous statement and the amused quirk of her lips. Taehyung, though, is so caught up on his personal drama that ignores it all and keeps talking.

“He could be playing her, feigning to be sweet and charming just to get into her pants.”

“You should judge that after meeting him.” says Yoonji before Jimin can open his mouth to defend her boyfriend. Yes, boyfriend because they have been dating for two beautiful and amazing months and Jimin is ready to fight for him. “You can’t judge a book by its cover. Just like when we met, remember?”

Jimin does remember. Remembers Taehyung seeing Yoonji at the library for the first time and falling in love with her at first sight. Remembers watching surprised, but worried, as her best friend stood up, walked with confidence to the petite girl with dark hair, dark clothes and big earphones on her ears —obviously not wanting to be disturbed— and offered her his back of gummy bears. He remembers his expectant face when she stared at him, then at the gummy bears before grabbing a bunch and uttering a thanks. Jimin remembers thinking how weird they looked together, Taehyung with his bright clothes and bleached blond hair; Yoonji with a complete dark look contrasting beautifully with her pale skin. At first glance they look so different, but they gave each other a chance to get to know each other, to find out what they already had in common and what things to discover together.

They had been quite the talk around campus at first, everyone judging them by their looks, but they made it work and three years later they are still that couple grossly in love.

“I hate it when you are right,” mumbles Taehyung and Yoonji laughs, tugging softly at his earlobe with her fingers. “Still, I will glare at him until I find him deserving of your heart.”

“Please don’t embarrass me,” pleads Jimin with a long sigh, already regretting agreeing to this meeting. Jimin had been prolonging it with excuses whenever Taehyung or Yoonji said to want to meet the guy that had Jimin’s eyes sparkling like diamonds under the moonlight (Taehyung’s words, not hers), but it had been Jungkook suggesting it what actually had Jimin agreeing.

“You are always talking about them,” had said Jungkook one afternoon they had been cuddling on Jungkook’s apartment, “If they are your best friends I want to meet them.”

And maybe Jimin was too whipped to say no.

“I don’t want you to get hurt,” says Taehyung, staring seriously at her. Jimin sighs again before offering a soft smile to her best friend.

“I know Taetae,” she says reaching for his hand. Taehyung immediately interlaces their fingers. “But I… I trust him.”

“But he doesn’t know, right?” asks Yoonji, also serious now that the mood has changed drastically. When Jimin shakes her head no as response, she adds, “Will you tell him? You know you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“I know…I really want to tell him.” says Jimin and tries not to cry when Taehyung squeezes her hand, anxiety always comes strong when this topic is brought up. “Honestly, I’m not afraid of who I used to be. It was a battle against myself that I’m proud of surviving, but I know not everyone is accepting and that is what scares me. I know he wouldn’t hurt me intentionally, but as I said it’s a part of who I am today that I want him to know about, I don’t want to hide anything from myself to him.”

When Jimin looks up at them she finds them smiling. Yoonji reaches forward with her hand, resting it above where Taehyung’s and hers are still held tightly.

“We are so proud of you Jiminnie.” she says, fondness on her eyes. They must be quite the scene, Jimin thinks; a girl with clothes dark like the night and dark eyeliner smudged around her eyes, another one with an Iron Man tee and glasses almost bigger than her face, and a boy with a bright yellow shirt and purple hair holding each other’s hands and staring with eyes glassy from unshed tears. A bunch of idiots, it’s what they look like, but this is why she loves them so much.

When Jungkook finally arrives Jimin stands up immediately, almost running to throw herself at him. He catches her easily, arms circling around her waist to press her closer and drop a soft kiss on her forehead.

“Hello, gorgeous.” he says, smiling down at her. She grins, unable to hold it back while staring at those beautiful brown eyes that always seem to have a sparkle on them. So captivating. “Have you been waiting for long? We have a game coming up and coach decided to prolong practice.”

“It’s fine,” she says, taking him by the hand to where Taehyung and Yoonji are waiting, “I would wait forever for you.” she says cheekily, knowing how these kind of words always make Jungkook blush. Right on cue, the tip of his ears turn red, and she can’t help but laugh at his cuteness.

The introduction is less awkward than Jimin expected, and much to her surprise Taehyung is actually civil with Jungkook. Maybe Yoonji gave him a talk while she was gone. Jimin should buy her another coffee in gratitude. It’s Jungkook, though, who buys another round of coffee for everyone in compensation for making them all wait.

“So, Jungkook,” starts Taehyung, stirring slowly his coffee, eyebrow held high and lips pursed. He’s trying to be menacing, but he just looks like an idiot, if you ask Jimin. “What are your plans for the future? career, dream job, children?”

Jimin sighs. Here it comes.

“I’m planning on becoming a personal trainer.” Jungkook says with that boyish smile of his that has Jimin’s heart dong backflips all the time. “I’ve always loved sports, and I want to make it my job. I actually play football for the uni’s team—“

“Yes, I’m aware of that.” interrupts Taehyung, rather rudely in Jimin’s opinion. Yoonji must think the same because she gives him a nudge to his ribs that he profusely ignores in order to keep talking. “You must be really popular between girls and boys alike, you sure you wanna settle down with Jiminnie?”

Jimin quicks Taehyung’s shin, huffing victorious when he yelps loudly. Jungkook seems taken by surprise by that outcome if his stiff posture is anything to go by.

“Sorry, he’s being a dick.” Jimin says glaring at Taehyung, who just sticks out his tongue at her.

“No it’s— It’s fine I understand his concern.” says Jungkook, giving side glances to Taehyung. “I do like her a lot.” he adds, now obviously directed at Taehyung. “She’s the first girl I feel like I want to settle down with.”

That has Jimin flushing, hands instinctively lifting to cover her cheeks. Jungkook never fails to make her heart go crazy. She hears him chuckle, and his hand squeezes gently her thigh, reassuring. She stares at him, and they find themselves tangled in a sweet and lovely staring contest.

“Just so you know,” says Taehyung, popping their bubble of happiness, “Yoonji used to be a part of a gang back in high school-“

“That’s a lie,” denies Yoonji with a snort, obviously amused by her boyfriend’s antics.

“She still could easily kick you in the balls if she wanted to.”

“But I don’t want to.” mumbles Yoonji at the same that Jimin snaps “Could you stop threatening my boyfriend, thank you?”

Jimin knows Taehyung is just being protective but he’s the crossing the line. Jungkook is a sweet kid, only if Taehyung tried to get to know him he would know.

“You are being a dick, honey.” says Yoonji softly, patting his thigh. Taehyung huffs, eyebrows furrowed. Jimin can tell he’s annoyed, not because he’s being scolded, but because he knows he’s acting like a child.

“Sorry, Jungkook.”  he says after a couple of seconds of awkward silence, eyes glaring at the table. Jungkook tries to shrug it off, but Taehyung keeps talking, “Jimin has dealt with a lot of shit and I know it’s not my place to say if you are or not good enough for her. I just want her to be happy.” He says the last part looking at Jimin, genuine apology implicit on his eyes. Jimin can’t be mad at him, not when he’s such a precious child.

“I’m trying my best to make her happy,” says Jungkook softly. Jimin is glad he’s not scared, she should buy him tons of banana milk later for not running away after this. “I don’t know what exactly happened that made her so hesitant towards new people, or relationships in general—“ Jimin frowns at that, she didn’t know Jungkook had noticed, “— but I like her and if she is willing to open up to me, I will gladly accept her with everything she has to offer.”

“Whatever it is?” challenges Taehyung, and Jimin finds herself anticipating Jungkook’s answer as well.

“Yes.”

“Unless she has killed someone,” says Yoonji with the corner of her lips curled up in that way that makes her look mischievous like a kitten, “I would advise you to run away, then.”

That’s enough to ease a bit the mood and direct the conversation towards more trivial topics.  Jungkook holds her hand during the rest of the afternoon, even afterward when Yoonji and Taehyung leave and Jimin and Jungkook roam around the streets in an impromptu date, neither of them wanting to leave too soon.

Jungkook listens as their coach plans some strategies last minute, furiously drawing on the tiny board with aggressive strokes.

They are on the last five minutes of the game and they need to score to win, since it’s a tie in the scoreboard. The pressure is high.

He feels a bead of swear sneak down his face from his forehead to his chin and he frowns. His shoulder hurts a bit from one rough tackle but he plays an important role in the team, he can’t sit on the bench and do nothing when they need more than ever to play united as a team.

When the coach gives them the cue to go back to the field, Jungkook turns his head around, finding with ease Jimin on the bleachers, smiling widely at him, hand waving energetically upon noticing him staring. He would hate it so much to loose this match; he can’t lose the first one Jimin has come to see.

Jungkook pats his mates on the shoulders as he situates himself at the right spot. He inhales, stares back at the scoreboard and then exhales, the referee signals for the game to start.

The longest five minutes Jungkook has ever played, but none the less the most gratifying ones as his team manages to score the points that grant their victory. The whole stadium roars, chanting the team’s name and Jungkook smiles, laughs whole-heartedly as adrenaline pumps through his veins.

He got his win, the first win Jimin was able to witness with her own pretty eyes.

“Congrats, big boy.” Says Taehyung, patting his shoulder with a crooked smile. Jungkook’s smile widens, thanking him with enthusiasm. He’s so happy Taenhyung seems to be trying to accept him, less aggressive with his words every time they meet.

“You were amazing,” adds Yoongi with a soft smile, leaning a bit forward so Jungkook can hear her over the music. “I know nothing about football but I know you were so cool out there.”

Jungkook can’t erase the smile off his face; there’s nothing sweeter than victory. Except for the kiss Jimin rewarded him with when they met after the match. She was shaking from excitement, smiling and saying over and over again how amazing he is. Jungkook couldn’t resist to lift her up and kiss her senseless, both of them ignoring Taehyung’s loud gags of disgust.

The celebratory party is wild, as always. Just an hour in and everyone is drunk, dancing like wild animals. Even Taehyung and Yoonji seem to be having fun despite their clearly hesitance at coming by when Jungkook invited them over.

Jungkook hasn’t left Jimin’s side the whole time, his arm securely around her waist and his nose buried on her neck as they dance.  He leaves a kiss just under her ear, making her shiver, soft gasp escaping her.

“You look gorgeous tonight.” says Jungkook gravelly on her ear before nibbling at it. Her hand comes up to  cup his neck to subtly press him closer, the other one squeezes his bicep. “Did you dress up for me?”

Jungkook does not usually talk like this, that bravado came from the two beers he’s had so far, and he must thank them for encouraging him, because the shudder that shakes Jimin’s body against his is rewarding.

“I always dress nice,” Says Jimin playfully with a pout. Jungkook can’t deny that, specially not when she is actually looking like a goddess right now in all her black glory, tight choker around her neck included; he kisses her for lack of any better answer.

“I’m glad you could make it,” says Jungkook, embracing her tightly. Maybe he is a bit too drunk, too touchy, brain-to-mouth filter starts malfunctioning, “I love you came to see me play, you know? I wanted to impress you because you are perfect and I want to be perfect for you.”

Jimin giggles as he cups his face with both hands, thumb caressing his bottom lip. Her skin is delicate and warm and her body fits amazingly against his own. Jungkook is so whipped, but he regrets nothing.

“You are a cutie when you are drunk,”

“You are the cutie,” says Jungkook a bit too loudly, maybe a bit too passionate. Jimin doesn’t seem to understand how cute she is, and that’s frutrating. “You have no idea how many times I go all mushy inside because of you.”

Jimin snorts, obviously failing at keeping her laugh. Jungkook pouts despite the beauty of that view. She’s not taking him seriously.

Jimin kisses the pout away, her arms tight around his neck as she holds herself up on her tippy-toes. Jungkook lifts her, enamoured by the way she squeaks in surprise.

“I like you so fucking much.” he mumbles, nudging her nose with his. She kisses him again, open mouthed and wet. They make out just like that, with Jungkook holding her up with his arms under her ass. That cute and round ass that has been giving him nightmares.

They somehow end up cornered somewhere, Jungkook trapping her with his body against a wall, one hand holding her head in place, the other cupping her ass. He groans when her hand rests on his navel, mischievously travels down to stop at his belt. He jerks his hips forwards instinctively to seek for more; it’s been a while since he’s done this and he would love to have another hand that it’s not his touching his dick tonight.

“Wait.” she whispers, her hand now on his chest to make light pressure. Jungkook bites her neck  a bit too roughly and she moans as response. “Jung—Jungkook…”

“Hmm?” he jerks his hips forward again, now leaving a soft trail of kisses on her neck. She smells so good, of strawberry if his drunk mind is not wrong; so sweet, just like her.

“Stop.” She pushes him again, with a bit of more force now and Jungkook goes rigid, startled at her loud command.

“Did I do something wrong?” he asks now terrified because she’s not looking at him, her hand curled on his chest the only sign that Jimin still wants him to keep him close.

“No,” she says, still looking down. Jungkook has to lean a bit forward in order to hear her over the loud music. “I just— I don’t feel like we should do this.”

“Oh, yeah—“ he does a quick glance-over through the room. No one is staring at them but he knows Jimin isn’t one to go to parties frequently, publicly making out like this must be too much for her. “Should be go to my apartment?”

He doesn’t want to sound pushy, nor fake her feel like she has to do anything with him tonight. He would be lying if he said he wouldn’t like to have celebratory sex tonight but it’s Jimin, not a random hook-up to relieve stress.

“I— I mean, I don’t feel like—“

“Oh shit, ok— it’s fine.” he reassures quickly. He’s a moron, he has clearly upset her. “I’m sorry, I— fuck, I think I drank too much and got carried away—“

“It’s not that…” she says, finally looking up at him. Her eyes are so pretty, he can clearly seem them tonight because of her choice to use contact lenses. The dim lights of the room make her eyes look mysterious, specially with the dark make-up she has on her eyelids. She’s stunning. “I liked it but— I’m not ready for that yet.”

Jungkook nods, leans completely away from her but she stops him with firm grip on his tee and tugs him forward until they are pressed against each other again; Jungkook breaths a bit relieved she isn’t repulsed at him for jumping on her like that, but still feels disgusted at himself for forcing her.

“You didn’t do anything I didn’t like,” she says softly against his lips, as if she could hear his trail of thoughts. “I’m not mad, nor upset, ok?”

He nods again, now more relaxed by her words, “I really didn’t want to force you into anything.”

“You didn’t.” she kisses him again, a slow and tender kiss that makes Jungkook sigh contently.

Jungkook stays moody for solid five minutes after that, still feeling like crap, but she quickly eases him by bringing another round of beers and dancing silly until he laughs and joins. Jungkook, even in his drunken state, can’t deny the stars aligned that day they met, because there isn’t any scientific study to explain how he got so lucky to have someone like Jimin as his girlfriend.

Jimin moans as Jungkook bites and tugs at her bottom lip softly. Jungkook is such a god damn good kisser, and in moments like these is when Jimin feels a bit out of place because of her lack of experience, but he doesn’t seem to mind. He kisses her passionately, as if having her lips on his is the best thing in the world.

She feels his hand caress her bare thigh, the tips of his fingers tickling their way up until they are close enough to the bottom of her skirt to sneak underneath, she shivers. It’s all too much and not enough at the same time.

She tugs at his hair softly when the bite on her neck turns into the start of a hickey as he sucks. Jungkook has a thing for marking her up, it seems; it’s not the first time she goes back home with a hickey on her neck.

The tension is notorious, Jimin is aware. They have been dating for almost five months now and the farthest they have gone in terms of intimacy is heavy make-out sessions and some hickeys here and there. Jungkook understood when Jimin told him he wanted to wait a bit, he was reassuring and comforting when she told him she didn’t feel comfortable with nudity, that she had insecurities.

“It’s fine,” he had said, pecking her on the lips sweetly, “I will wait forever if needed.”

Jimin, not for the first time since they met, wondered how she got so lucky.

She jumps startled when one of Jungkook’s fingers scrape the hem of her panties. Her body jerks so aggressively that she knees him on his ribs without intending to.

“Oh fuck!” she panics as Jungkook lifts himself up, face contorted in pain as one hand rubs his side, “Shit— Jungkook, I’m so sorry—“

“It’s fine,” he croaks out. Despite the obvious pain inflicted, there’s a smile on face, tries to laugh it off. “you know I’m pure muscle, I will survive.”

Jimin groans frustrated, dragging her hands down her face while mumbling more apologies. She hates herself; she was so eager to tell him, to be open about a part of herself she was actually proud of. But now, the words won’t come out and she’s all jumpy and panicked whenever he touches her; she has been dragging this moment for days. Jimin doesn’t know why she feels it’s so important to tell him before they get physical but she knows she won’t feel comfortable in taking their relationship to the next level until she explains everything to him.

It’s not the fact of being transgender that scares her, but his reaction. She’s coming to terms with her body, finally loving it as it is now. What she’s afraid of is Jungkook not wanting her anymore, that the desire that she has seen on his eyes sometimes when he looks at her will disappear once he’s told the truth; fears he could stop finding her atractive.

“Hey, it’s not big deal, you didn’t hurt me,” says Jungkook, voice soft as he pries her hands away off her face. “Are you crying?” he says, voice going high with panic when he sees her teary eyes.

“No,” she says, but it’s hard to sound convincing when she sniffles right after. When she looks at him, though, can’t help but chuckle at his panicked face. “Sorry, I just— Did I really not hurt you?”

“Yes, yes. I’m fine.” he assures quickly, leaning down to kiss her cheek and then her lips, “You could intentionally kick me in the balls and I would thank you and ask for more.”

Jimin laughs, a full-body laugh that has her squeaking embarrassingly loud. Gosh, he’s such a dork; how did she get so lucky?

“Come here you idiot,” she says while cupping his face to force him down for a sweet kiss. They kiss softly for a while, Jugnkook’s hands resting on her waist without moving, the rest of his body hovering over her without resting on her compltely. He probably sensed her discomfort.

“Are you ok, though?” he asks after a while, dropping butterfly kisses along her neck, then up to her jaw to end up on her lips once again. “I’m sorry if I pushed it too much, didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“It’s fine, you were ok. But we need to talk.” she blurts out too serious all of a sudden. Poor Jungkook leans away, eyebrows furrowed. He looks like he’s just seen a ghost.

“Ok?” he says and then sits up completely, allowing her to do the same.

“It’s something I’ve wanted to tell you for a while,” she starts with,  trying to buy some time to prepare what to say. She’s nervous, anxious, and the knot that forms on her throat won’t let her breath properly but she’s determined to tell him; no backing away. “It’s about…why we haven’t had sex yet.”

Jungkook nods, eyes big like an owl, posture stiff; he’s wriggling his fingers a lot, nervous probably, and Jimin wants to reach out and ease him, so she does. Fuck it, she thinks, maybe he won’t let me touch him again after this.

“You did nothing bad, yeah?” she says when he squeezes her hands, and he seems to relax a bit. Jimin feels bad for making him feel like he did something wrong. “It’s not you, it’s me… I have some insecurities about my body I’m working on.” she doesn’t know where to start from; Jimin feels as nervous as when she told her parents. “You see, even since I was a kid I never felt…happy, felt out of place about everything, specially with my body. Got even worse once I hit puberty and everything started changing. When I was fifteen I realised that the reason I felt so out of place was because I wasn’t in a body fit for me.”

She looks up to Jungkook, who seems more confused than before but says nothing regardless of the million questions that must be flying around his head. She’s happy he’s willing to listen despite how weird everything sounds.

“I was a girl trapped in a boy’s body,” she says, choking through her words, giving her all to not crumble and cry; she has done enough crying for a lifetime, she’s happy and proud of where she stands now, of who she is. “I’m a transgender girl.”

He blinks, opens his mouth as if to say something but no words come out, then blinks again as he wanders his eyes around the room. Jungkook is processing the information, Jimin reminds herself not to panic because he hasn’t let go of her hands yet. That’s a good sign.

“So—“ his voice wavers a bit, then turns his head slowly to her. Jimin breaths a bit relieved when she doesn’t recognise disgust on his face. “You were born a boy?”

“Yes,” she says slowly, patiently. “I started my transition when I was seventeen.”

They stay silent for what feels forever. Jungkook seems to be out of his body, his mind going miles a minute; she can see him thinking, processing this new information.

“So the reason you didn’t want to have sex yet is because you still— uhm, you still have…” He trails off, pointing to her crotch with his eyes.

“Would you mind if I still had penis?” she finds herself asking a bit defensive. This is the real question; his answer is what can change everything. She has read blogs online about other people’s stories, some good, others not so much. This is a crucial point, now is when others would say she is a monster, not natural, that she’s not a real girl.

Jungkook releases soundless laugh, his eyes get a bit teary and so does Jimin’s at the sight.

“No,” he mumbles, one tear rolling down as his lips form a sweet smile. “I would give no shits because I like you so much and I don’t fucking care if you have a penis or whatever.” he adds before licking his lips and inhaling sharply, he looks out of words. He turns his body completely to face her, squeezing her hands, eyes full of determination, no hesitance, no disgust. “I can adapt ok? We can work on this together. I haven’t touched a dick that isn’t mine but I can do it—  I can do this for you—“

Jimin can’t let him finish, she throws herself on him, her arms squeezing him into a hard hug as she kisses him passionately. Jungkook makes her sit on his lap, patting her back softly when she breaks down crying and buries her face on his neck, rocking her back and forth with soft ‘it’s fine’ and ‘don’t cry’.

“I don’t have dick,” she says after a while. Jungkook leans away to try to look at her but she is stubborn to hide right now. She’s overwhelmed, her face must be all red and snotty; not a sight she wants him to see.

“You don’t?” he asks hesitant, sounding so confused that Jimn can’t help but laugh.

“I had surgery two years ago,” she explains blinking away her tears. She allows him to lift her chin up and stares at those pretty brown eyes she’s so enamoured with. “I haven’t been with anyone since I got it done, that’s why I’m a bit nervous about us.”

“So that’s why you have been hesitating.” he concludes, visibly relaxing. “I honestly started thinking you weren’t attracted to me or whatever.” he laughs nervously before leaning for a short kiss.

“You are hot as hell,” she mumbles a bit shyly, red colouring her cheeks, “No way I wouldn’t want to be with you…it’s the other way around, actually.”

“No fucking way.” he says quickly with a fervent shake of his head, “You are beautiful Jimin— fuck, I wanted to be with you the moment I saw you all those months ago. Trust me, I’m more than attracted to you. I just told you— I would have sex with you even if you still had dick.”

She chuckles and rests her head on his shoulder as he accommodates her on his lap, arms sneaking around her waist to keep her close. “Thank you.”

“No, thank you for telling me,” he says against her hair before dropping a kiss, “I can imagine it must have been hard for you. You are really brave, and so strong— I might like you even more now.”

Jimin sits up to stare at him, smiling, overjoyed at those words. Jungkook is such a sweet kid with a heart bigger than the entire universe.

“I like you even more now, too.” she whispers, cupping gently his cheek. He leans into it, enjoying her touch. Jimin might be a little bit in love too.

She spends the night. The first time since they started dating. She’s nervous and shaking but she still stays, because there is no other place she would want to be right now than with him.

Jungkook lends her one of his tees and basketball shorts, but she disregards the pants —because they are too big, first of all, and because if she wants this to work she has to start feeling comfortable around him.

Jimin laughs when Jungkook’s jaw drops at the sight of her bare legs. He tries to hide his embarrassment behind an awkward cough, getting into bed without sparing her another glance.

Jimin smiles to herself and pushes her glasses up her nose; this was a nice boost to her ego.

“Hold me?” she pouts at him once they are both under the blankets. She presses her back against him, biting her lip when she hears him choke.

“OK,” he breathes out. His hand hovers over her body, hesitant, as if this is his first time touching her, “Fuck, I feel like a teen having his first boner.”

She laughs, turning her head around to look at him, “Are you having a boner?” she teases, not knowing where that bravado came from. She is not sure she wants to face a boner right now.

“If you keep pressing that cute ass against my dick, I will.” he says while securing his arm around her waist.

She giggles, relieved the room is dark enough so Jungkook won’t see her blush. Jimin wriggles around until both are comfortable, feeling her face heat up more as she feels his dick press gently against the curve of her ass; He’s half hard, but it’s enough to feel he’s quite the size. Oh, boy.

Jimin feels like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders. Jungkook’s lack of rejection obviously easing her discomfort to the point of feeling brave enough to be in some level of undress around him. She knows she wants him, but maybe it’s too soon to try to resolve this sexual tension between them.

“We don’t have to do anything.” he whispers, warm breath hitting her nape. She shivers slightly, and his arm squeezes her in response, “I’m content with just holding you like this.”

“Me too.”

Jimin interlaces their fingers and brings their hands to her chest, finally relaxing as she closes her eyes.

Jungkook is right. This is nice, just holding each other like this feels like perfection. They have plenty of time to do much more.

[igglemouse]

Replies!

@108sims - @mysimsloveaffair - @quiddity-jones - @simbollocks - @theplumboblife

Thanks for the support and lovely comments ^_^

108sims

replied to your post

“Weekly Update...”

I enjoy Carnage, and The Academy, and your legacy. I completely understand how you feel though. I enjoy the things you write, and whatever you decide to do, I'll be there!

Thank you! I hope to bring both of these stories back soon! Any kind of support is very much welcomed especially yours!

mysimsloveaffair

replied to your post

“Weekly Update...”

Wow...I could have written this! I've been feeling the same way about my vampire story (Dark Form). It's been over two weeks and I have no desire to even open up the save. Sometimes I guess we have to force ourselves to keep moving forward. It's tough at times, but if you don't give up...I won't either! By the way, like the others have said...I enjoy your stories and your families too. I don't get a chance to read them everyday, but I look forward to my catch up days

I guess we all feel this way at some point in time! It can be hard to finish stories, especially if you like have high expectations of them I guess. I guess it’s just a bump in the road that we have to move past though! Thank you! Also, I know you binge on them! I tend to do that a lot with other simblrs too and I always hope they don’t take it personal.

quiddity-jones

replied to your photoset

“Thursday   I’ve decided to wear my disguise when Aurelia stopped by....”

going to be a looooong phase. XD

Very very very long...although there is a cure!

simbollocks

replied to your post

“Weekly Update...”

I relate yo feeling like your writing isn't good enough. I've been going through that, and is also a rreason I haven't started on the Castle story. We are our own worst enemies. But, I always love everything you post and you are one of the top few on my list of follow forevers! You're stuck with me! But, take your time and do at your own pace. I've had to learn to do that now that I'm back and it's keeping me from vanishing again like usual lol

T_T Thank you! Your simblr has always been great and your writing, pictures, storytelling, all of it! I’m glad to be stuck with you but I suspect it’s only because of the naughty posts!

marquis-de-bechdel

replied to your post

“Weekly Update...”

Iggle, I know exactly what you mean about the followers thing, I've kind of stagnated too! I really enjoy your stories, but the most important thing, I think, is that you enjoy it! Which hopefully you do. ❤

I do enjoy it and followers like you have made it easier to push through things like this! You are one of my followers that’s always been there, even when you didn’t have a simblr! I appreciate that so much and the kind words here!

Thank you all for sticking by me!

[princesstuttu]

all of the fanfiction questions for that ask meme????

OKAY HERE WE GO 

41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading: All five of these are absolutely fantastic WIPs that I CANNOT WAIT to be finished!! 10/10 recommend 

The Sun Within Me (Naruto) 

Of Harrowed Hearts (Naruto) 

Ragnarok (Naruto) 

Swallows on the Beam (FMAB) 

After All the Misery (FMAB) 

42. List and link to 5 fanfiction authors who are amazing:

the_musical_alchemist  Her survivor fic had me laughing until I cried it was GOLD. Anyone who writes Lan Fan that beautifully badass has my heart forever and ever. I want Carlos the Dolphin to be my best friend lets just leave it at that. 

weialala In Good Company was like nothing I’ve ever read for Sasunaru and a fantastic character analysis of Sasuke. I’m super excited for Ragnarok to wrap up this series but at the same time I’ll be super sad for it to end 

InkuisitivSkins I haven’t read all of Dylan’s works but holy shit she can world build like nobody’s business. Anyone who can get me on board for a rare pair has my immediate respect because it means not only are they a dedicated fan but an incredible writer. Honestly everything in the Northern Theatre Universe is just such a wild ride so much fun. 

princess_j3ss JESS IS LIKE THE KINDEST PERSON EVER AND DAMN CAN SHE WRITE. I live for drabbles and Jess writes them beautifully. You get a full story in a thousand words or so and honestly you really need to be a master of your craft to pull that off. 

capthawkeye Not only is Mar a fantastic writer but she lets me CONSTANTLY bounce ideas off of her which is like the best thing a writer could ask for. She inspired me to write my first chapter fic, which is going to be posted as a part of Lingfan week, and I honestly cant thank her enough for helping me get that idea out of my brain and on to paper. 

43. Is there anyone in your fandom who really inspires you?: Honestly anyone who creates content inspires me, especially in the FMA fanbase. Everyone I’ve talked to here is so kind and so passionate. Whether its creating art, fanfiction, edits or even music, everyone here is so freaking talented it blows my mind! Also everyones welcomed me in with open arms even though Im super late to the game.

44. What ship do you feel needs more attention?: Lingfan and Greedlingfan deserve all the love in the world. WHICH IS WHY I CANT WAIT FOR LINGFAN WEEK IM SO EXCITED 

45. What is your all time favourite fanfic?: Oh man this is tough…I have a couple from a looooong time ago that I’m not even sure are on the internet anymore. Honestly if I have to pick one (and I hate that I have to narrow it down to one) right now its probably Of Harrowed Hearts right now. The worldbuilding is just so fantastic and its everything I wanted the canon universe of naruto to be but wasn’t. Its so so good I can’t recommend it enough. 

46. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why?: Lol I only have one up on my AO3 right now because I only really started writting fanfiction like two months ago! So I guess by default I have to recommend These Hands of Mine . I’m super excited though because Lingfan week is like two weeks away and I wrote for that so stay tuned for more of my rambling!! 

47. Archive Of Our Own, Fanfiction.net or Tumblr - where do you prefer to post and why?: Like I said I only have one fic written but its on my A03. I posted a link to it to share on tumblr though and I’ll be doing the same thing with the rest of my writing!

48. Do you leave reviews when you read fanfiction? Why/Why not?: If I really love a piece I will ALWAYS leave kudos and reviews. Writers need feedback and honestly hits arent enough to tell them if their work is good or not. Besides, its the simplest thing in the world to be like “hey I like what you wrote’ and I guarantee it will make the writers day. 

49. Do you care if people comment/reblog your writing? Why/why not?: Honestly if you reblog or like my writing I’ll cry tears of joy. As someone who is just getting into writing fanfiction after reading it for years I love feedback because I want to get better at my craft and give back to my fandom. And honestly, liking and reblogging and leaving comments lets me know that not only is my work being seen, its being enjoyed, which warms my heart to no end. I’m gonna shamelessly self-promote and say you can find all my writing on tumblr here

50. How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?: I stumbled upon fanfiction at the tender age of 13 looking at fan content for Zutara. Thank you internet for showing me fanfiction and porn at the same time. Two birds with one stone am I right folks? 

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!: I love people who write and I honestly think fanfic writers, for all their faults, are some of the most passionate and lovely people out there because all the content they create is driven by passion. They are doing what they do because of an interest which is important to them. They want to give back to their community and I have so much respect for that. Y’all rock. 

Ask Me Questions!! 

[jilliancares]

hi jillian! what shows or book series got you so invested and attached to everything? like... the plot, the universe and most especially the characters. i would love some recommendations. thanks a lot!

wow turns out i have a lot to recommend, so they’re under the read more!

so harry potter definitely, if you haven’t already experienced that haha! (for the post-hp experience i recommend reading drarry fanfiction because there’s so many and they’re so great you don’t understand)

the mortal instruments by cassandra clare, and everything else she’s written. i swear cassie is a fucking,,, literary genius. she keep producing books in this universe and if it were any other author it would be excessive but with cassie it’s just like HALLELUJAH! if you do read her books, i recommend you read them ALL and in the order they were published. there’s a main series and then a prequel series AND  sequel series, plus some other books she wrote on the side that are centered around certain characters and she even has other series’ planned. it’s honestly so fucking cool im so invested in these characters and this universe - these books make me laugh out loud all the fucking time it’s amazing and you should definitely read them all

recently i’ve read sarah j mass’ two series, which are the throne of glass series and a court of thorns and roses series. they’re both super intricate and supernatural and the main character in both is this BAD ASS GIRL and it’s awesome because you don’t see that tooooo often. watch out though bc there’s smut in these books so if you’re like reading them in school you might suddenly be like AHH ?? SEX???

percy jackson! it’s so great and i need to reread it soon - i think i’ve read it maybe 4-5 times? idk man. it’s so great though i miss these characters so much. the story lines are so cool and the characters are hilarious and lovable oh man oh man.

now i haven’t read this in a looooong time but the eragon series? i actually can’t really remember all that much about it but i remember thinking it was the coolest thing of all time. it’s this universe where there’s dragons and riders except this tyrant ruler has like, exterminated all the dragon/riders i think? except eragon finds this egg and he GETS A DRAGON and her names saphira and the first time i read the book i called her saphire?? and when i realized it wasn’t saphire i was like what the fuck. there’s also elves and dwarves and magic and oh man i wanna reread this now fuck

tv:

game of thrones! idk if you’ve seen this but it’s fucking crazy and epic and JUST WOW MAN. you should watch it i can’t even like, describe what it’s about it’s just fucking huge and great. okay. okay.

anime:

i’m about to finish full metal alchemist: brotherhood and it’s so cool man. it’s this universe where there’s this thing called alchemy, and basically people can study to become alchemists and control certain aspects - the main characters control metal. the main characters are ed and al (i’m about to spoil like, what’s revealed in maybe the second episode? but i felt p confused when i first watched and it’s a minor spoiler so) who tried to use alchemy to bring their mother back to life and had to pay with it for their bodies - al lost his entire body and his soul is now in a suit of armor, and ed lost his arm and leg. they work for the government but they’re really just trying to get their bodies back. this show goes SO DEEP though bc that’s just the plot at the beginning and SO MUCH MORE unravels from all this it’s crazy!! i think it took me like 5 episodes to truly get into it, mainly bc i was p confused at first, but it’s honestly so cool i love it

death note. i’m still just blown from this it was crazy and awesome and just WOW. i’m sure you’ve heard of it, but light gets a book called the death note and when you write someone’s name in it they’ll die. light is convinced that he will become god, and the police realize that somethings up so they get the best detective out their into the case, ‘L’. it’s SO CRAZY AND COOL AND GOOD if you haven’t watched it before, do

i haven’t watched this one yet but im about to watch voltron bc everyone’s telling me to but i can’t actually vouch for it with my own opinion yet or tell you what it’s about lol

haikyuu!!!!!! this was so great and sweet and awesome and i never expected myself to like a sports anime but it was honestly the fucking best? THE BEST. just watch it dude i fucking *clenches fist* love it

finally ouran high school host club. it’s honestly ridiculous and stupid and hilarious but i fucking love it it’s great okay. it’s like this boarding school for rich kids except this poor girl got in but she looks like a boy bc she don’t care about gender identity but ANYWAY she breaks this ‘host club’s vase and they’re like ‘you’ll pay for that by joining the club’. so basically it’s all these boys who court girls for fun and then this girls now in it and it’s funny and great ok

that’s all i can think of right now!!