#I haven't been in fandom drama like EVER

[dreamingofimpalas]

I absoluely love the fact that somehow I'm now supposedly a spy

A spy (you heard me read it correctly)

For something I wasn't even initially a part of until someone opened their mouth and made me a part of it

Like you have no idea how funny that is to me 😂

A portion of the Loki fandom officially lost it and I'm all here for it but

[chiimeramanticore]

[nutmeggery]

I need Neil Gaiman to know that Good Omens 2 made me feel emotions I haven't felt in nearly a decade.

When I heard there was going to be a Good Omens 2 I was looking forward to it, of course. I just wasn't expecting it do anything super special to my emotions. I was sure I'd enjoy it, though. I really enjoyed s1.

But, for the last few years, I watched shows and afterwards basically thought well, that was fun, and I quickly moved on and didn't think much about them. There was only about 3 shows in the last 5 years that had made me feel truly emotional and stayed on my mind to the point where I felt like I needed to engage in fandom for a while. (Good Omens 1 was one of them.)

I wasn't spoiled by the leak. I never even knew there was a leak. So I had no idea what was coming in s2. And oh boy...

See, I'd watched Our Flag Means Death, a show where you don't expect the lead characters to kiss, because, well, that never happens in these types of shows, right? And this is important because when they did kiss, it felt like a door that had been locked with just about all the high security locks in the world had suddenly, inexplicably, been opened. Something switched inside me. It took me months to understand what it was, but when I thought about Good Omens before s2 came out, I realized what it was.

I would never truly enjoy a bromance they're-only-queer/in love-by-your-own-interpreation story ever again. Stories where nothing is confirmed, just subtext that anyone who doesn't want to see it can easily deny and mock those who wish it was more.

While it was clear that Crowley and Aziraphale cared a lot about each other in s1, and were probably in love, it was still just a fun ship for fans to play with in fanfiction and fanart. Do they love each other? Oh sure. In what way? Well, that's up to interpretation. Ok, cool. But it's not quite Our Flag Means Death, is it?

Then I watched Good Omens 2. And from episode 1 I saw my favourite Angel and Demon duo love each other. And I was having the best time. I hadn't had such a good time watching a show in a long while. It was not only right up my alley, it was an alley I wasn't even aware was my alley until I saw it. I enjoyed seeing the old characters, the new characters. Oh, I was wonderful.

It was clear to me that, of course Crowley and Aziraphale love each other, are IN love with each other, showing it in their own way. And I wasn't expecting it to be THIS obvious.

And then when the kiss happened, I couldn't believe it. I covered my mouth with both hands and gasped and sat up straight in my seat. I had never expected it--the heartbreak it added to the already heartbreaking scene--it rewired something inside me.

It was like my emotions had been locked up in a stall like a horse for so, so long, and now the gate had been opened, the stable door kicked down, and the horse was running out onto the large pasture into the daylight, bucking and kicking up grass. Oh my god, I have to take a few minutes to process that entire 6 hour marathon of emotions.

And by a few minutes I meant a few days.

More than a few, actually.

I didn't need a kiss to understand how much they loved each other, but I did need the kiss to understand how intense and heartbreaking their separation is for them after everything.

But more than that, the kiss broke a barrier. They really did it, I thought. They really dared.

Aziraphale and Crowley aren't human males, no, but they're played by male actors. And that is significant. That makes the kiss significant. In the world we currently live in.

Weeks later, I'm still obsessed with the show, re-watching s1 and 2, reading the book again, listening to the audio drama. And I'm on tumblr, seeing people's posts and art to somehow sate my hunger for a s3 that doesn't exist (yet).

And I'm having a wonderful time.

[flamingpudding]

Fictober23 Prompt: 17 - "I never said it would be easy."

Fandom: DPxDC

Rating: T

Warnings: -

A/N: I saw a post with a comment that Dan chronological wise is ten years old according to a wiki, I haven't seen it myself but I decided to run with it for this anyway.

It was supposed to be a normal morning but that got quickly interrupted by a long drawn out shout of 'Bruce' and a white and black blur suddenly flying though their ceiling right at Bruce. Two out of four present bat-kids instantly sprang up from their chairs into defense positions and with drawn weapons. The other two only arched an eyebrow before turning their attention back to their breakfast with a suppressed laugh, they had seen that black and white blur often enough during their times as Robin.

Damian glared at his older brothers as he stood with drawn throwing knives while Tim after a second of realization sighed, righten his chair from the ground and sat only slightly embarrassed at how Dick and Jason laughed.

Hovering above their breakfast table with his hands on Bruce's shoulder was now Phantom also known as Danny Nightingale, looking completely frazzled. The source of the yell as well as white and black blur from seconds ago.

"Bruce! I need your help! Please! I can't ask Jazz because she is busy and I sure as hell won't ask Trenchcoat. I don't think Supes can handle them and you're like the only one else I could think of to ask! Bruce, please!"

None of the bat kids really knew how long exactly Bruce had known Phantom. The man had only recently admitted to personally knowing the Ghost Hero when Nightwing had caught Phantom collapsing onto Batman and de-transforming and Batman handling it like that hadn't been the first time. They only knew that he had been an unofficial member of Justice League Dark and was the one that helped Jason with his Pit Madness as well as came to visit every now and then as Danny. What they had learned additionally from Alfred was that Phantom was the adopted son of Alfred's old friend and that when Bruce had been younger, he often came to visit or to hang out with them to escape his own family drama.

The bat-kids had figured out that way that Bruce and Danny were probably something akin to childhood friends that both also worked in the hero buisness.

Either way no one was in danger and so they watched on with curiosity as to what Phantom wanted. So far the Ghost Hero was still rambling on and on about something he couldn't entrust to anyone other than Bruce, while their father was leisurely taking a sip from his coffee completely pokerfaced like he was used to the other man rambling at him like that.

"Danny." Bruce finally cut in as the other was about to restart his entire plea for help. "World ending or personal."

The white haired man blinked as he finally floated to the side and let his reformed feet touch the ground. "Both? Sort of?"

Bruce grunted, the universal sigh for the other man to elaborate and the children payed attention interested on what was going on.

"I have a diplomatic meeting with the Tempest Dimension. One of their Demon Lords discovered that interdimensional travel is actually possible by having created a portal when he tried to teleport somewhere in their Dimension. I can't take Dani and Dan with me for this, the last time I allowed them to accompany me they nearly caused a dimensional war. Clockwork doesn't want to watch them, Jazz is to busy trying her newest psychological tortur- I mean therapy on Joker and I can't make the fruitloop watch them since both Dan and Dani swore they would wreck havoc if I leave them with him during football season."

Bruce arched an eyebrow and Danny pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yea I know, but last time Trenchcoat watched them he nearly sold his soul again to never ever babysit them again. And Clark is too nice to watch them, they will use it against him."

Bruce hummed. "How old are they now?"

"Five and ten body wise since the assimilation process with their bodies finished a couple years ago. They should start normal aging soon."

The bat-kids exchanged confused, disturbed and partially horrified looks at what the two men were talking about. There were so many questions they had. They were wondering if they could make Bruce talk about his childhood and get some information about Phantom that way. Tim had attempted researching him once and barely found anything besides some disturbing information about a haunted tourist town called Amity Park that was Phantom's territory.

"Bruce! Please! They have a dragon with a human body in that dimension! I just know that Dan or Dani will attempt to fight him!" Suddenly an idea popped in Dicks head and exchanged a glance with his siblings, checking if they had similar thoughts.

"We could watch them!" Dick then piped up, this was their chance to find out more about Phantom and his relationship with their dad.

Wide green eyes blinked at Dick and for a moment he felt like he had made a grave mistake, especially as he noticed Jason was sneaking away now like he decided he did not want to be part of any of this. Which is fair but come on, this was their chance.

"Are you sure?" Phantom questioned him carefully, side eyeing Bruce who was still calmly sipping his coffee and gave phantom a slight nod.

"You said five and ten, right? How bad can it be watching kids their age! They can even hang out with me and Dami!"

"Do not involve me-" Damian's complaint was shushed by Tim stuffing a pancake in the others mouth, earning him a death glare from their youngest but it was good to know that at least one of them was on his side with this plan.

This time Danny exchanged a full on look with their father, it appeared like they were silently talking. Something Dick doesn't really remember Bruce doing with anyone in the way he saw it right now.

"Well if you say so…" Phantom slowly agreed before reaching with his hand into a green portal pulling out a heavy looking bag. "This is the medicine box. If either of them look the slightest bit melty use the syringes in here. That's ecto-dejecto and basically ghost medicine for them. Though for emergencies there is a portal amulet that leads right to Frostbite."

The bat-kids looked stunned at what Danny was holding up before putting it back into the medical box and pulling out a silver green thermos front he bag. "If Dan misbehaves in any way or form use this to put him in time out. Just point the open Thermos in his direction and press the button down here. Pressing the button again will release him, but if he misbehaves to the point of having to use the thermos you can leave him in there until I pick them up again."

They knew that Phantom wasn't completely human but was that normal parenting? Hadn't they seen him use that thermos on enemies of the JLD before? And he was using it to discipline his kids?

"They know better than to overshadow anyone to get their will but in case one of them does, these bracelets should keep you safe from it. Otherwise call Bruce, he is one of the four and a half adults they listen to too."

"Is all of that really necessary? I am just babysitting them right?" Dick asked, still a bit stunned as Phantom handed him the bag.

"Yes. I never said it would be easy." The man only answered before opening another portal and sticking his head through for a brief moment.

A little girl of five hopped out of it a second later looking like a perfect copy of Danny Nightingale's human form, though what was more shocking was the hulk of a man with flaming hair coming through the portal growling and snarling at them as the grown man stood behind the girl with crossed arms. From the corner of his eyes Dick saw Phantom pinching the bridge of his nose. Before he floated over to the tall man and quite frankly pinched and pulled on that man's ear.

"Dan. Human-form now."

The man continued to growl and snarl for a moment with blazing red eyes before two white circles formed around his middle. A transformation they had seen a couple of times before from Phantom after Bruce had admitted to knowing him personally and introduced him as Danny.

Instead of the hulking beast of a man there was now a ten years old boy that looked surprisingly similar to Damian just lighter skinned and blue eyed. The boy still growled at them with his arms crossed while the little girl giggled. Damian was looking at the two with narrowed eyes before he turned his stare on Bruce.

"This is Dani and Dan." Danny introduced the two kids and Dick heard Tim mutter something about unoriginality when it came to naming. But before anyone else could comment on anything or even greet the kids an eyeball appeared out of thin air. The ghost hero and his kids looked at it for a moment before the man sighed dismissing it with a wave of his hand.

"I have to go now! Dani, Dan behave and play nice. If anything goes wrong Bruce has my emergency summoning pendant!" A second later Phantom disappeared through the portal the kids had come in, the little girl, Dani, gleefully shouting a quick "Bye mom!" Before the portal closed.

There was a moment of silence before Damian decided to break it. "Father, I believe there is something you have failed to inform us about."

"And that would be?"

"The existence of blood related siblings you have sired with Phantom."

[kentopedia]

Can you drop some long series recs (any fandom!)?! I haven't had any come across my dash >.< Would love to read some!

omg of course!! I HAVE SO SO MANY RECS! a lot of the ones i've seen recently are ongoing, but i hope you give them a go & keep watching for updates <3 i have read quite a variety, so hopefully there's something for you tehe. some of them i haven't read yet, but have been on my list bc i enjoy their other works :) so i recommend them to since i know the writers are amazing!!

to have and to hold by @fedyenkas (chuuya, ongoing) - i just started this one today & it's so so amazing so far !! chuuyas characterization in it is sooo yummy. i haven't read a hybrid series before, so it's super unique to see how that fits into the bsd universe.

noble blood by @forest-hashira (satoru & suguru, ongoing) - i haven't read this one yet, but both of fallon's entries for my collab were incredible, so i can only imagine this is too! plus, the premise is SO insane, it's about dragon riders, and there's an entire sheet with all lore that they've created !! i can see how much love and care was put into this one, so i can't wait to check it out !!

oh, baby! by @tetsuskei (kuroo, ongoing) - i have yet to read the first part (everyone throw tomatoes at me) but risu posted some parts on her old blog & i read it there! it's so so sweet!! i looove all her writing, and dad!kuroo is just the cutest thing EVER.

waterloo by @fyorina (dazai, ongoing) - i haven't read this one yet either but i am SO SO incredibly excited to get to it. this one is going to be long, so it might be what you're looking for !! the first two parts are out already, and there's a posting schedule if you want to know when they're coming out :)

bulletproof love by @staryukis (gojo, ongoing) - i've really enjoyed this one so far and logan's writing is so captivating <3 it feels just like missing scenes from in between the canon jjk storyline. logan also has a mini zombie apocalypse series i've been excited to read after reading the other series !! it's dying (for your love).

regrets by @/kingkonoha (levi, complete) is so good !! i still need to finish it, but the concept is super cool & the reader is the antagonist so it's a really interesting spin on levi's actions in the canon universe.

tidal temptations by @fyodorloveclub (fyodor, ongoing) - i have also yet to read this one (cries myself to sleep my tbr is never ending), but everything flora writes is incredible, so i have no doubt this one is too. it's a merman fyodor fic, which is such a cool concept i'm so excited to see where it goes !!!

hell within reach by @/ddarker-dreams (chrollo, complete) - omg. ok i read this one like 2 years ago LOL, but it's finished and its about 80k long, and it's so good <3 i used to be an insane chrollo girlie & this is one of my favorite fics about him.

lover's delight by @lovelyluc (diluc, ongoing) - i don't even play genshin or know anything about it HSHFSDFH but this one is so sweet <3 you can really see how much awea loves diluc in this series, which is my favorite thing about reading fics, and it has so many of my favorite tropes !!

geheinisse by @honeybleed (jean & reiner, ongoing) - only the first part of this is out but it's SO INCREDIBLE. there's so much drama already, and nara does such a great job of setting the scene while getting you hooked immediately. nara also has a two part reiner fic (the first part is decades) that's completed and over 10k words that i'll never forget! her characterization of reiner is so yummy.

if it wasn't for him (would you have me) by @gojoath (yuuta, ongoing) - cella's the ceo of yandere yuuta, so if you're into him, i can't think of anyone else to recommend !!! cella wrote another yuuta series that i think is completed, so there are lots of amazing things to read on her blog <3

@osaemu has a streamer!gojo series that are all in the same universe & connect! they're so funny & everything sabs writes is amazing, so i encourage you to check out her work if you haven't

the lakehouse by @tetzoro (kuroo, ongoing) - rahhh i'm the worst bc i still haven't read this but aims is one of my favorite writers on here, so trust me it's amazing. this was written for october, so if you're missing autumn rn def read this one! aims also has another kuroo series coming soon <3

i know i left some people out, so if you're ever in need of any other recs, pls lmk tehe. and if you're a mootie of mine but have a series i didn't include, send it my way <3 but hopefully all these amazing ones will get you started!

[zykamiliah]

hey! i haven't seen mha in a looong time and i've never payed attention to bakudeku (mostly because i'm not the biggest fan of bully romance), but i'd love to see your take/interpretation/analysis on it? i've been a really big fan of your svsss metas and so i just thought, "hey, you know what, i'm curious to see zykamiliah's take on a ship i've never been interested in from an anime that i haven't seen in years! maybe i'll see something?"

not too sure if you already made a post explaining it (so sorry if you did!), but i've seen enough of the sudden rise of bakudeku reblogs on my feed from your account to ignite my curiosity lol

i just really enjoy hearing about ships because they're an amazing opportunity to explore dynamics and perspectives i've never given much thought/thought about before (coming from a rare pair lover... oh gyx/lbg, my sweet...) so i'd love to see bakudeku, a ship i don't quite understand (yet!) in a more understanding, different, and interesting light! and in complete honesty i trust your judgement with insightful character and ship analysis stuff, so... yeah!

heeey jade! sorry for the wait, i've been busy with work and irl stuff :DDD but i'm here now!

where to even begin lol... well, it's important to note that the relationship between midoriya izuku, the protagonist, and bakugo katsuki, the deuteragonist, is one of the main narrative lines of the manga, at the very core of the story. katsuki is izuku's narrative foil, their character developments are intrinsically connected (specially katsuki's!), and the same can be said about the themes of heroism, of what makes a hero, who can be a hero, what type of hero society needs, or if it needs them at all, etc., questions that also tie to the evolution of their relationship.

so from the start i was sold on this dynamic because i really like relationships that are at the center of a story!! i also like relationships with a complicated history with lots of drama and ups and downs, and i like that each character has their own things going on in their lives even if they are connected and one of the most important persons in each other's lives. big big bonus guaranteed to get my full attention if they are obsessed with each other lol

the thing is, deku and bakugo are in a bad place when the story kicks in. bakugo isn't an active bully, in the sense that he doesn't constantly seek deku out to hurt him, but he IS horribly mean and hostile, and that's because for years he's felt threatened by deku (and deku's heroic qualities), and wants to push him away, because he also feels that deku is looking down on him. the story doesn't shy away from showing and acknowledging that bakugo's behavior is atrocious and needs to change, and it works towards it consistently: he eventually atones, apologizes, and changes. on the other side of the coin, deku has always been paying attention to bakugo and, despite how the latter treated him, would chase him, observe him to the point he has bakugo's moves memorized, takes inspiration from his fighting style and even imitates him to give himself courage to do something specially daring and when he wants to "win" more than "save"; bakugo is his image of victory, ever since they were kids.

i scrolled through my bkdk meta tag, since it's been yeeeeears since i was involved in the fandom, lol, and found this post that tackles the bullying issue specifically and makes some very good points, if you wanted to read it! :D

the manga eventually addresses the problems in their relationship in "Deku vs Kacchan 2" (chapters 117-119), at the time bakugo is feeling turmoils for the part he played in All Might's end. to the question of "why does deku chase and care about bakugo if bakugo is so mean to him?" ch 119 has deku answer that himself:

this fight is the turning point for their relationship, and for the rest of the manga their individual and dual development is mostly upwards. reading bnha is worth it, if anything, just for the beauty of bakugo katsuki's development.

another big aspect that got me hooked in their relationship from the very first anime episode (and first opening) is that they are

✨Childhood Friends✨

(strap in this is gonna get loooooooooong)

Childhood friends (Osananajimi) is kind of a huge trope in manga/anime, often as a romantic interest. According to some sources i quickly consulted in the internet, and some of the manga/anime I've watched, in Japanese culture osananajimi is considered one of the purest bond formed between people, with a level of closeness equal to that between blood relatives; formed at such an early age, at a time when societal restrictions didn't apply yet, the relationship is genuine because they still didn’t need or know how to hide their true feelings from each other. As the childhood friends grew up together, this is considered a special connection, somewhat different to those formed after societal norms and perceptions take precedence. Or, as makeste put it:

here we have two very young children who are introduced to each other at an age when they’re still young enough to have absolutely no secrets. they’re young enough to have not yet learned to be shy or self-conscious, or to downplay their enthusiasm so as not to let others know they care. kids that young don’t hide anything. they don’t lie or deceive. they don’t have agendas, and they assume that others don’t either. it is, in short, a very pure type of relationship in the sense that it’s honest and uncomplicated, that it is exactly what it appears to be at face value. their personalities are fully out there with no attempt at reining anything in. Katsuki witnesses the full force of Izuku’s boundless hero-worshipping energy and enthusiasm. Izuku witnesses the full extent of Katsuki’s relentless confidence and Peter Pan cockiness. both boys see each other for who they are in their entirety, and accept each other. this is a fundamental bond. there is trust built between the two of them at a critical, formative age. it’s a relationship formed so early on that it’s likely that neither of them can actually recall a time before they met the other. they are and have always been a constant in each other’s lives. they’re a lot like siblings in terms of that kind of closeness and complete understanding of the other, both the good and the bad. in fact I’d say that Izuku’s use of “Kacchan” (and Katsuki’s automatic acceptance of it) isn’t that different from a younger brother’s use of “Niisan” for his older brother. it’s very revealing of the type of relationship they have. and that includes the typical sibling squabbles as well. it’s very much a relationship that’s taken for granted; there’s no filter, no effort to hold back, no attempt at trying to tone down their behavior around one another. there is whining and bragging and squabbling and name-calling and tears, just as much as there is cooperation and respect and trust. because at the end of the day, the assumption is that the relationship will endure no matter what, so they can go at each other as hard as they can and it doesn’t matter. the other one’s presence is just a given. that’s the kind of relationship that this term “childhood friends” really encapsulates, I think.

The sudden change of their statuses when the quirks start to manifest is a major factor that placed them on opposite sides of the social hierarchy, and conditioned the way society and their peers would treat them. But despite this and the misunderstandings that happen between them and the falling apart of their relationship, the subconscious understanding between them remains intact through the years. They always flashback to their earlier memories. They probably didn't interact much in elementary or middle school, and even if they did, they interactions were already tainted by their social status and Bakugo’s hostility. They don't share their innermost feelings with anyone but each other. Like when Deku gets angry or determined to win and to surpass him, or when Bakugo screams and cries out his emotional turmoil at Deku. According to Japanese social rules those are selfish things to do. This relates to the concepts of honne and tatemae.

Japanese society is more regimented than one might believe just from watching anime. By middle school age, and even to some degree in primary school, children are expected to interact with their peers in a relatively professional way. This is especially true of relationships between students of opposite sexes. Such requirements aren't held for family or close friends, but for everyone else one is expected to be polite and not share their true feelings or say things too directly. This concept of dividing people into an in-group and an out-group (内外, uchi-soto) is somewhat hard for non-Japanese people to understand, but is central to interactions between people in Japanese culture. In fact, you can find plenty of examples of this and of the related concepts of honne and tatemae in anime if you look, but if you aren't looking for them specifically it's easy to miss. (source)

So, for example, you shouldn't show your true feelings/thoughts to other people, even more if they aren’t socially acceptable, because that may disturb the peace in the community. But because Deku and Kacchan are osananajimi that have known each other their whole life, that doesn't apply to them. By stating from the very beginning that Kacchan was Deku's childhood friend, Hori put them in a close relationship with each other with a level of intimacy, trust and a subconscious understanding not like any other. Kacchan is, in fact, closer to him than All Might himself.

Like, Deku has been calling Bakugo by his childhood nickname, Kacchan ("Ka[tsu]" from Katsuki + "-chan", which is usually used to address children or females in an affectionate way), even past the age he was excepted it to drop it. When they were 4 years old, the other kids called him "Kacchan" too, but growing up it would be seen as childish or disrespectful so they start to call him "Katsuki" or "Bakugo". This puts a level of distance between him and his peers that, regardless of what happened between them, didn't extend to Deku and Katsuki. And it had to cross Deku's mind at some point ( "Should I start calling him Katsuki/Bakugo too?") but he didn't or simply couldn't. Despite everything, he wasn't willing to put even more distance between himself and Bakugo. He deliberately refused to put formal distance between them, and more importantly, Bakugo just LET THAT BE.

___

Like, this was a great set up from the beginning for me. I knew there was a story there from the first episodes, and then "Deku vs Kacchan 1" happened, showing their childhood flashbacks and the misunderstandings that would persist until DvK2, and i was really into that lol They relationship was one of the main reasons I followed the manga.

i mean LOOK at THIS!

how i could NOT ship it i mean come on

Even their color schemes complement each other, and their costumes have the same/similar colors. they are are complementary opposites that share the same core: to become a hero, their admiration of All Might. Each of them has a quality the other lacks and needs to work on to become the heroes: heroes that win and save, as All Might put it. Selflessness and Selfishness: to help and save others, in one side, and to care for one's personal victory, in the other. Bakugo was obsessed with victory and glory, and Deku was willing to do anything to save others, to the point of self-destruction. These isolated qualities didn't made them good heroes, but combined, as the two learn them from each other, by the end of the story they really become two of the greatest heroes.

This connects with their rivalry, which is richer than any other in the manga because of the many layers to their relationship: they are obsessed with each other, want to compete with each other (for the rest of their lives!!!) and don't want the other to fall behind, specially after their misunderstandings are resolved. They also don't want to be left behind by the other. Because they love each other too much! Whether people interpret it as platonic or romantic or whatever in between (secret third they are like like four different types of greek love categories combined), they are each other's More Important Person outside of family members. Hell, Kacchan getting hurt is basically Deku's berserk button: he punches All Might in the face to save Katsuki during the end of term exam; he goes crazy protective and possessive when Katsuki gets kidnapped by the League of villains(Mr. Compress even calls him out lmao)

he goes crazy when Katsuki is hurt in front of him

and when he thought katsuki had died...

i mean. look at this romantic shit.

_

lol and i feel like i'm leaving many other stuff behind, like Bakugo's apology, and all the little moments after DvK, and all the times in the last arc where Bakugo was thinking about Izuku constantly, and the finale where Katsuki cried because Deku had given up OFA and was going to be quirkless again, and the fact that he was at the heart of the mecha suit years-long project because he wanted Izuku's dream, their dreams, to come true. but tbh I only read them the one time and need to reread the whole manga again to refresh my knowledge. and i already shipped them before all this haha.

they are amazing characters in a really well done shonen manga they have a beautiful story 🧡💚

[olderthannetfic]

I accidentally killed my own desire to write, and I need some advice. To be really blunt about it, what's the point of writing? When I would spend lots of time laboring over making a good story with a plot and characters who were in-character and connecting all the dots narratively so payoffs were satisfying, my reward was dead silence and virtually no clicks. I posted some mindless smut to my side account one day and got more hits in a day than most of my other works combined got in a year. I know, I know. "Write for ~*~yourself~*~" is the common response. It's the "be yourself!" of writing. It's supposed to be a magical phrase that'll make everything okay. But... I don't like knowing that something I spend months working on won't be read by anyone while something I write in a car while bored got thousands of clicks. I don't like making something I'm proud of and then no one ever looks at it. That's not fun for me. It's not fulfilling.

For a solid decade, I've tried to ignore how the level of interactivity in fandom is falling. Fewer comments. Fewer kudos. No comments in the bookmarks. You put your tumblr and Discord in the AN and get a handful of asks and one person who adds you, talks to you twice and then ghosts you. Most of the comments are "well, actuallys", made even more annoying by them being wrong as opposed to actually correcting an error. I avoid fandom drama, wank, and infighting. I don't engage with things I know will make me unhappy. I try to be happy over in my own little corner. I comment on every single work I read. I want people to enjoy fandom. I used to.

Some dumb smut I wrote in 40 minutes gets five times the hits of the writing I'm most proud of, and it gets it in just under three months. I am not a great smut writer. I haven't stumbled onto an incredible talent I had that makes it so the issue is that I'm so amazing my smut brings all the boys to the yard. People just don't like what I write and put effort into. It's very likely that despite 20 years of writing fic, I suck at writing. And people enjoy my writing most when they don't have to put up with anything substantial and can just skip to the sex.

So for the last eight months, when I write, I just sort of give up. Close the Word doc without saving. No one will read this. No one cares about this. There is no fan eagerly awaiting every update like I await updates from my favorite authors. There's not even someone saying, "update soon!" Close the Word doc. Delete old WIPs. There's no point. I do not tell stories worth reading. I used to. In the FFN days people genuinely enjoyed my work. I'd never have had an opportunity to do the 'I won't update until I get 3 reviews' thing because getting that many on a chapter was usually something I'd do overnight. Post before bed. Wake up. Read the reviews before school. I peaked in high school, I guess.

And now I'm just sort of lost. I still have lots of ideas. Ideas for fics fall into my head all the time. That's never been a problem. What I don't have is any motivation to write them. What's the point of writing? If no one else is reading, I guess the point would be so I could go back and read my own story and have fun with it. Write for myself. But I can review the story and have fun with it in my head without writing it down. It's substantially faster and more importantly, isn't incredibly depressing.

So, at the risk of definitely being calld the second-coming of True Art Anon or a troll or validation-seeking or haha mentally ill haha... what's the point of writing?

--

Okay, so write porn in a car while you're bored.

Look, you can whine all you want about my response, but what you've written here is blatantly about depression.

Lots of people in fandom are still interacting. And no, it isn't just on fics that are objectively written to some pro fiction standard or whatever. Teenagers still breathlessly review poorly spelled cracky masterpieces about this year's big anime and so forth.

Yes, there may be reasons why you in particular are in a slump when it comes to fandom friendships or "plz update" comments. We can talk about that. But this ask is all gloom about fandom in general. That's not realism: that's you having a problem.

--

As for why a person should write: because the actual hours you spend doing the writing are fun.

If they aren't pleasurable in some way, find another hobby.

--

But if you want an answer to the age old "Why did my 5 minute fic get 1000000x more asspats", I've seen meta about this for literally decades.

The most likely reason is that the fic we write quickly and without much thought often feels fresher and more fun. The things we labor over endlessly can feel overworked. Even in cases where they don't, they're often heavier subject matter or more niche subject matter. On top of all that, we just care more, so even a high level of feedback doesn't really feel like enough for the effort and care we put in.

--

Do you really need me to tell you why you don't feel the same as in high school when things were fresh and new?

Go read up on combatting burnout or dealing with post-college anxiety or managing stress in a dead-end job in your 30s or finding meaning in your 40s or whatever is going on.

Everyone goes through fallow periods in fandom and in life.

Feeling reinvigorated has to do with internal factors and some general life circumstance stuff. It doesn't have that much to do with number of kudos. That's just the surface trigger for a mood that was already there.

[fuckyeahbioware]

A Final(?) mod post

Hi everyone,

Two friends and I (Annakie) started this blog way back in 2011. They moved on from Tumblr a year or two after, but I never did.

Except for about a half-year-long hiatus around 2017, this blog has been reblogging the best stuff I could find related to all Bioware games (and occasionally sequels to those games made by Obsidian) ever since.

For the last year or so it's been coasting, the queue was down to once a day and I haven't been adding much in.

About a week ago, the queue ran out. I didn't notice because I've been without power and haven't been on tumblr, but now I'm back, but I'm sorry to say, the blog is not.

I haven't had the time or passion to go searching out content anymore.

So, if there's anyone out there who would like a moderation role in this blog, would agree to keep the content quality high and the blog generally impersonal, let me know. By impersonal I mean not promoting your own work above others, making sure characters/games that are not your faves get an equal amount of coverage, not participating in fandom drama on this blog, not making posts with any financial interest, etc.

Otherwise, the blog will be going dormant for the time being. Someday, maybe with the release of DA4 / ME5 I'll bring it back around. But maybe not.

Thanks to all the content creators that have made this blog what it's been for the last 13 or so years, and everyone else for following and reblogging. Keelah se'lai!

[hg-aneh]

You don’t have to answer this but I hope you read it. I just now saw that you wanted to settle things privately and I feel like a dick because

Well. I hope you’re doing alright and that you have lots of warm blankets and all your favorite drinks of choice nearby. ♥️ I was upset on your part. Lots of good vibes to you.

Hey, don't feel bad about it, I know your intentions were definitely not bad with this, and I'm very appreciative of the gesture regardless of how I wanted to handle things personally

What has been bothering me however is the way people are reacting about this being brought up to Neil

I know it can be mortifying to the fandom at large, but sometimes, some people on the internet won't stop or listen to reason unless some higher authority tells them to do so (which, in this case, it would be Neil), and the people who come to those higher authorities are only trying to make things right, it's all!

Also, he's got over a thousand asks on his inbox and he decided to pick this question to answer by his own volition

No one was pressuring him to do so and he's not going to leave the platform or close his askbox because someone gets a bit too personal with him, he's said before that he just deletes asks that make him uncomfortable, which wasn't the case here so that should tell people enough about it in my opinion (you are completely allowed to disagree)

I've also seen people considering this whole thing just "drama"-?

Listen, I know those people are not me and that theyre not in the position I'm currently at, and by God I hope they never EVER will be

But look. I haven't told anyone (besides 2 friends who watched everything unfold very closely and have helped me with receipt-safekeeping) all the details about this situation, nor have I gone out of my way to talk about it fully with anyone or allow myself to process this whole thing completely, but I assure you, it is not just drama

The way the buildup of all of this messed with me almost made me k-ll myself about a month ago

I can see why people would think it's just something silly since they don't have all the details (and I'm not planning on revealing them unless something big comes up), but please, to those people, think of that for a second, think of everything I haven't talked about. Just. Keep that in mind before you call this drama

I'd really appreciate that

[inchidentally]

I just love everything and every little detail about the Landoscar dynamic. It's so captivating. The pt. 2 video of the mid season celebration just showed another layer.

Oscar is the typical mischievous introvert who teases the unhinged extrovert to do the crazy things for him, for his own amusement. And Lando will just cave because I don't think he can say no to Oscar, even if he wanted.

no fr anon the fact that Lando likes being able to wheedle and fuss and complain around the people he loves but is otherwise extremely shy around new people and finds it difficult to navigate new places without friends or his team around to help… while Oscar is overall quiet and lowkey but can get extremely mischievous and actually prefers to navigate new experiences and places all on his own… Lando thrives on consistency and feeling comfortable… Oscar is super flexible and happy to make sure other people are comfortable… Lando is extroverted in that he thrives on being around people but introverted in how he'll only relax and let loose around people/places he knows and trusts (having multiple sets of friends groups for different activities etc, keeping tons of friends for over 10 years) Oscar is extroverted in that he rarely if ever seems daunted by wherever he finds himself and never 'performs' or loses his self-confidence but introverted in how he'll prefer a one-on-one chat in a club over being in the middle of the action and needs a certain amount of time and space all to himself… the way their little 'games' are Lando whining and misbehaving to get Oscar to do what he wants and Oscar's is to get a twinkle in his eye and bribe or connive to get Lando to misbehave with him…

and bc I think maybe the air temperature in fandom about Hungary has reduced enough, Oscar fully knowing that Lando - like any driver!! - will have to be pushed and forced over team orders no matter what the circumstances (Oscar is quieter about it but no less reluctant) AND that Lando will require space and time to come down off the emotions after the race because that's always when it's most difficult for him (and the media know this ie them creating the Lando/Max drama). Lando literally saying he remembered what Oscar's "done for him in the past" and all the times Oscar's been so happy for him after team orders and like my god for ppl who know Lando !! his reactions to the media immediately after that race were the purest proof of his respect for Oscar and their partnership by him overcoming that initial tidal wave of personal disappointment and anger. Oscar moving to stand close to Lando at Lando's plinth and Lando reaching that hand out to him and them sharing that baffled smile between each other bc it's just A Lot but the one thing they know is that none of this situation is something to take out on each other. (and oh !! the poetry of brocedes between them !! the contrast of a different generation and intimacy being mistaken for understanding - compared to landoscar choosing understanding over immediate intimacy) but Oscar didn't push any further into Lando or ask for anything else and Lando fought to give that smile every time Oscar looked at him and like !!!! they gave each other things and then gave each other space !!! and chose to see out flight delays in a little group and then playing a board game in an even smaller group! and so many ppl haven't fully appreciated that they've always done this before I think bc it was sort of expected by Oscar's position in the team for him to obey team orders, even when it really hurt. and definitely bc a lot of folks see Oscar's calm demeanor and think he isn't burning up over giving up a lead or losing out on a podium in exactly the same amount every driver does. but as Lando keeps reminding even his own fans, he knows what Oscar's done for him <3

and the cameras and media back at MTC clearly had Lando thrown back into that feeling of quicksand over every single thing he said and how he said it and he'll have fully witnessed how his own friends and family and hardcore fans will have felt and how often can he reiterate something before someone decides to accuse him of just delivering a PR line and uuggghhhhhgg. but then !! Oscar breezes in full of mischief and smiles and standing tall and proud !! and Lando can giggle and step back and breathe a little from the weight of The Narrative bc the more Oscar keeps refusing to let it settle over them the less interest others will take! if Oscar won't be drawn into anything about the team orders or Lando then The Narrative will slowly lose all it's color and interest and Lando can breathe and disappear into the break. bc for all that he has experience on Oscar, he does not have experience of this situation at all!! and Oscar bearing them up through it with that same unflappable calm while Lando writhes and grapples with it inside himself is just <3<3

and it all boils down to what's compelled all of us into their dynamic so deeply despite them not baiting with fake gay or bromances or publicizing a friendship in a way that usually gets us invested. they talk and they communicate and they allow space to learn each other and to react and behave instinctively. on the one hand they already have a shared wavelength that's gotten noticed by pretty much everyone and we get glimpses of how they hone in on talking about things with just each other kind of forgetting that cameras or other people are around. but on the other hand they still watch each other talking and reacting SUPER closely at times and keep fumbling around the concept of their rivalry and their partnership in this conflicted and clearly kind of anxious way. they'll have certain people in their lives pushing for them to say to hell with being friendly with the other guy - then they'll have Andrea and the team negotiating life at the front and keeping both cars there - and then the fact that when all that pressure is lifted, they have a genuine fondness and gentle affection for each other that would make them easy friends in any other circumstances.

and that's why it makes all the more sense why they choose to not broadcast to fans when they spend downtime together or give us their relationship in any kind of packaging. they're not hiding it but they're not letting us into a share of that space. as a few of Lando's friends/colleagues showed that weekend, a lot of unnecessary mess gets created when people can't separate work from private life feelings. and it's why Oscar has wisely asked everyone in his own private life circle to limit their opinions and commentary - Nicole's podcast ep was about Oscar as a person and only a bit about him as a driver. just like how Lando and Oscar don't hide anything about their dynamic or their partnership at all - even down to saying how they need to do more sports together - but they're not going to consider fans or PR at all when it comes to developing that dynamic and partnership. private but not hidden or secret.

so it's ended up as this rare experience of watching them both openly get to know each other, negotiate the honestly dizzy fast experience of going from a backmarker team to both being top 4 in the WDC in under 2 years together - and in a car that is identical between the two of them and that they've both developed with open communication between both garages. in being so open and honest about all of those experiences, their personalities have revealed themselves gradually to each other and honestly to fans as well.

which is why everyone who thought Hungary would be followed by a massive dry spell or just angsty/fix it fic was way off - nobody's into landoscar bc they're another perfect bromance where all we want is sunshine and positivity - and they're honestly not even yaoi fodder. they're so gd compelling for authors especially bc they're in so many ways equally softly rounded and hard edged and their dynamic is so effortlessly sweet in some ways and so intriguingly complex in others. Oscar only talks about Lily the same way he talks about Lando (when it comes to non-racing stuff). Lando reveals a more vulnerable, quieter side with Oscar that you don't really see in him with other drivers and even a lot of his mates. but then they're both identical in their determination and focus and desire to win that would be like drift compatible but in this case they're also each other's opponents.

they don't spend as much social time together as they have with other teammates, but they have a level of understanding each other and improving each other they've never had before. they don't go clubbing regularly but they finish each other's sentences. etc etc etc.

they get thrown into one of the most dramatic racing/team orders scenarios at a point in the season when it's even more dramatic, but they remain steadfastly resistant to the divide being pushed by fans and the media with a maturity that I hope more people give them credit for considering how young they are ????

and again, I don't expect them to be able to have such smooth sailing as time goes on and McLaren are eventually dealing with two number one drivers. but !!! their maturity and understanding of each other will also only increase so !!! they're just very very very exciting to watch and talk about and write fic about !!

[portlandwithyou]

A Digital Fangirl's Journey into the Analog World

It started with a search, three words typed into the eBay search bar. Due South zine.

I began my fandom journey online when high-speed internet was slowly rolling out in the United States. I've never known a time in fandom when a million search results weren't at the tips of my fingers, and yet I've been nostalgic for a more physical relationship with fandom. Thankfully, the @ds30below fest announcement had a week devoted to history. The perfect excuse to dive into zines for the first time.

Due Frisky #2 is a digest-sized, soft-cover zine held together with staples. This baby fits perfectly in your hand for reading anywhere. The photo doesn't do it justice, but the cover is a pretty pinky-red color.

Inside, there is a table of contents, an editor's note, the stories, and, at the back, a short advertisement for more zines from the same press. Included at the end of each full-length story is a black-and-white photograph from the show that is connected to the story's content. This is an F/V zine from January of 1997, although nowhere do they address or even mention Ray K. Perhaps issue one dealt with that?

As for the content itself, there are four stories and one poetry cycle. I'd especially like to highlight the first story, "Perfection" by Khylara, which deals with Ray V's Catholicism in such a beautiful way that I was practically jumping with joy as I read. Unfortunately, my searches have not turned up this fic anywhere online to share! It's such a shame, too; it's so thoughtful.

Speaking of which, although I can find some of the authors online, I haven't found any of the particular fics from the zine available. Mireille, who people may know from their other F/V works, has the first part of a multiple-part series in this zine. Now, the editors warn you of this in the editor's notes, but I had forgotten by the time I got to this story, and frankly, I am climbing the walls wondering what happens next!

I found reading this zine extremely satisfying. It was wonderful to have some fanfic to curl up with during a spring storm while being beholden to a supercomputer in my hand.

I also loved reading stories that were contemporary to the show's actual airing. I found the language to be just ever slightly more formal than fanfic nowadays, but in a way that was not distracting or detracting.

Another thing, as the title might imply, all of the stories feature sex and sexuality as a topic. Obviously, given my track record, that doesn't bother me. But I could see where that would turn some off from reading. There's drama, fluff, and plenty of other emotions throughout the pieces, but at the end of the day, they will be having sex.

Overall, this was a fantastic zine for a beginner. Every piece was wonderful, and I anticipate reading it again many times.

[epickiya722]

Of course, Izuku can't have his moment without some people having an issue about it.

Not surprised, anything involving Izuku Midoriya someone is going to hate and has been for almost 10 years now.

Here's the thing that honestly has pissed me off about the fandom. And you know what, I know some of you are going to think I'm a bitch about this, but at this point? I don't care. I'm now at a limit that has been pushed.

When it comes to Izuku Midoriya, some of you seem to forget that he is an individual. This is still HIS story he's telling.

Look, I got my ships, but damn it. Sometimes, I want these characters to still be perceived as their own characters.

Katsuki showing up this chapter was enough for me. Yes, he is a big part of Izuku's story, but... I feel like it would not be right for him to be more included in AFO and Shigaraki's ultimate defeat.

Last time I checked, Katsuki was only a temporary OFA user... FROM A MOVIE. His journey didn't completely evolve around One For All. Izuku's did.

When Katsuki was having his awesome moments fighting AFO when he was a kid and a baby (AFO), I ain't seen no one going "Oh, Izuku should be by his side, BakuDeku" or anything like that. No, y'all was cheering Katsuki on and seemed satisfied that Izuku served as support.

That's all this fandom ever does is see as Izuku as support for Katsuki, just he always has to have his story evolve around Katsuki and nothing else.

He's the main character, but with some of you? He's not allowed to have his own moments to shine. He's not allowed to think about anything else but Katsuki. He's not allowed to put down the villain he was meant to face unless Katsuki is there to take the shine away.

Be honest, that's how you feel, isn't it?

Like, damn, Katsuki already won the last how many popularity polls!! When are y'all going to rest and let Izuku Midoriya be front row and center in his own damn story?!

I don't hate Katsuki, but I'm starting to dislike a lot of his fans.

Same for Shoto.

Look, Shoto also being more involved like how some of y'all wanted for this chapter would make no fucking sense to me. His fight was always meant to be against Dabi. His story involved his family. Izuku wasn't there fighting Dabi, so why in the hell should Shoto share some of the big moment when Izuku takes out ShigAFO?

How would that be fair for Izuku?

Some of you didn't even like Izuku being involved with the family drama and later he wasn't for the big fight because the Todoroki Family Drama wasn't for him.

As with Katsuki, Shoto is still a supporting character. He's a big one, but oh my gosh!!

I literally just woke up and the bull I'm already seeing is ridiculous, it is.

Sometimes, I feel like some of you who think they know the story haven't been paying attention at all. Some of you, I feel have that "this character should have been the main character" mentality so when Izuku does MC things, you go into some frenzy over it. Some of you, I feel should take off the damn shipping goggles and for once realize that these characters are still individuals and percieve them as such. Horikoshi, if you read this... don't make any ship canon. The fandom can settle for fics.

Ten years... for ten years... as much as some of you demean Katsuki for his actions, you act just as he did towards Izuku. Treat Izuku like some damn punching bag. You don't even have to like the story, I don't give a damn.

He gets moments to shine, it's a problem. "No, this character should be---" Just stop!

I'm not saying Horikoshi's writing is perfect. I'm not saying you have to like Izuku. I'm not even saying I'm an expert on BNHA because I'm still learning the story, too.

But what I am saying is, and it's going to sound bitchy, is that y'all are so blinded and muddled by your criticism and shipping that you're quick to make judgments. You're quick to rush and not sit back and really try to understand what's going on and your hatred or indifference towards Izuku is just doing a disservice to not just the story, but to yourselves. The way some of you think will ruin the experience for you and some of you sound like jerks, for real.

Like, every character is important to BNHA in some way, yes. But what about Izuku Midoriya? Doesn't his importance matter, too?

Or is he just some character for you to hate on or some character you only value for shipping purposes?

Feel how you about this chapter (even though it was just leaks and not the officially out chapter, let alone THE WHOLE DAMN STORY!! BNHA AIN'T FINISHED YET!!), I don't care.

But oh my gosh... do better, just do better.

It isn't just this fandom. It's all fandoms. There's this trend now of "criticizing" the main characters or saying "they're not really the MC" or how their value as a character for shipping purposes.

This can apply to any character, but right now I'm focusing on main characters.

When it comes to main characters, you should understand them most of all to understand the story and a lot of you or at least the loud minority have failed drastically.

[animezinglife]

On the Shipping Drama

There’s not a need or reason to act like Elain and Azriel aren’t attracted to each other (or that they haven’t been up until our current point of the story). They, up until this point and as far as we know, have been or are. That is canon.

Elain and Lucien being mates is also canon. Lucien’s looks of longing and the suggestion that their bond is already powerful is canon. Elain is avoiding him right now. That’s canon.

Neither side is being dishonest about these facts.

I don’t understand this “us vs. them” mentality. I don’t understand the accusatory, condescending tones. There is no reason to downplay one side of this in personal favor of the other.

I am, quite obviously, of the belief that Elain and Lucien will end up together in the long run. It's my interpretation that she will truly begin to bloom with him in her life, and he will open a world to her bigger than she ever imagined. She will realize how much she’s capable of and that she can still appreciate and enjoy life’s simplicities. I fully believe even outside my own bias that favors both Lucien and Elain, she will fall in love with him on her own once she stops running from this idea she doesn’t have control in the situation.

She has a choice.

She could reject him, but she won’t.

At the same time, I'm very comfortable acknowledging that it's canon and natural (even expected) that she and Azriel have at least some interest in each other. We don't need to downplay the flirting or classic damsel/savior, dark/light/beautiful opposites romantic imagery in their scenes--it's there, and intentionally so.

So are the seeds that have been planted to take Elain and Lucien on a much bigger journey (than where they both currently are) together. We haven't gotten Elain's POV yet, but I have no trouble at all as a full-fledged Elucien preferrer stating that I don't think she feels anything romantically for him yet at all.

I think she feels the bond and doesn't know what to make of it.

I suspect it's extremely overwhelming and intense to her.

I have no doubt at all she finds him attractive--all of Prythian does, but she doesn't know Lucien yet. She will.

Both sides are right and, to be blunt, the fighting and drama is juvenile and ridiculous. SJM--regardless of how you feel about her writing--is pouring an ungodly amount of hours into these books, and she's juggling multiple series. The last thing any of us want (hopefully) is for the silliness to wear her down or kill her motivation. It can still reach her even if she wisely avoids social media.

We're all here because we enjoy these books. The vast majority of us on both "sides" love Elain and want what we think is best for her. We simply see that playing out and her finding her own strength differently; reaching her fullest potential differently.

We can't complain about the drama or fighting in a fandom and then directly contribute to it by pointing fingers just because we don't want to hear what the other side is saying.

"But the other side started it!"

It doesn't matter. The result is the same.

Let's not insult each other's or our own intelligence and simply love the characters and enjoy the story.

All it takes is for each of us to make our own choice to do so.

[sd1d-enthusiast]

So Polin fam, I'm that user from the polin sub who tried to give spoilery context to the sensationalized sun article leaks about Colin, and no I did not do it to start drama or whatever, I've been waiting for a Romancing Mister Bridgerton adaption for more than a decade and Colin is one of my favorite regency male characters, so to see people just taking two out of context scenes from a gossip rag and using that to lambast his character is super frustrating. I expected people to calm down once they knew the context, not go on tirades that the season is ruined or Colin doesn't deserve Pen or they want NPC plot device Debling to snatch her instead, and it's so bizarre.

After thinking about it though, I think I understand why people reacted like they did. A good portion of this fandom does NOT give a crap about Colin as a character in his own right and only sees him as a prop for Penelope's happiness. That's why every polin video will be littered with "Oh, I want him to GROVEL if he ever wants to DESERVE penelope." As if he committed some horrific crime, as if he isn't the only one person who has EVER seen Penelope for who she was, who has sought her out when she was hiding in the corners and shadows, who noticed her and confided in her and tried to step in and protect her and her family. Sure, he's had his foot in the mouth moments, and sure he isn't perfect. But NEITHER IS PENELOPE. And that's the whole damn point!

They're both still so young and haven't even found out who THEY really are yet, in large part they are both sort of drifting and trying to do what society expects of them. It's no coincidence that their true thoughts have really only been spoken to each other! Because they're meant to take on that journey together, they're meant to be partners who grow and make each other better, and that takes TIME and it's never 100% perfect, because they are imperfect complex characters. Which makes them interesting!

I just wanted to clear it up and vent this out bc I'm even seeing people on tumblr screenshot my comments or make out what I said to be something it's not. Seriously, we are about to get an amazing season. I wish people would stop overreacting. I already know once the season comes out everyone whose been shitting on Colin nonstop because of 2 tiny as hell scenes will pretend like they loved him all along lmao.

[k-s-morgan]

TGSTLTH related

Ok so I decided to do it here cuz I don't know will AO3 allow me to write essay hahahahah 😂😂😂

I don't even know how to start this. I've been reading fics for 13 years straight, like I don't remember the period of my life where I didn't read them cuz I always have some ship active and I'm crazy BL fan. Only a small number of them can make me crazy to the point I don't wanna sleep, eat, skipping my obligations, killing the pain and your sebaciel did everything. I haven't felt like this reading fic..,maybe ever? This is totally another level of me being fascinated by some writer.

I adore sebaciel, I'm in fandom since 2016 but the biggest problem I had with their fics is that - either people go too much OOC with them orr they rush up the things between them, going quickly with sex and feelings. It bothered me so much so I was crawling for good SC fics as crazy!!

After some break with SC, I came back to ao3 and saw your long fic. I started reading it but I dropped it after 3 chapters, I got bored cuz I thought you are gonna just re-type manga and do classic thing which another people do. Quickly, I got disappointed with another one and idk how but I decided to give your fic one more chance and dear lord......that was one of the best thing I have ever read. Maybe even the best.

Like, how smart are you? What's your IQ? Your manage to explain me some things about Kuro plot which I haven't udnerstand by myself. And the way you write Sebaciel relationship. That's everything I have ever wanted. Everything. They have normal conversation and that's it, that's all I need cuz there is everything. I feel electric every time when they talk, fight, do things together, goood the little touches svbjhsdjvbvbvbvbvbsdjvhbdf. I was tense whole fic. I read it for like 10 days, abandon everything until I finished it and now I feel sad ahahhaahha. But you are really something special, cuz I always used to say that manga itself is the best fiction cuz Yana knows the best how to create good Sebaciel energy. You, next to Yana, did the best job. You kept them as they are, never broke the character, and that's what I am most grateful. Slow burn, with drama and angst, love and attention, all misunderstanding, you put all necessary spices for 5 star meal. My fav part is when Ciel told Sebastian to add slamming doors to his most dramatic moments of his life ahahahahahahhaha 😂😂 I laughed like crazy, they are so precious♥ And I really wanted kiss to happen when Ciel lied Sebastian about another demon, that was sooo svbjhsvjhjhvbdf. But okay, you know the best, I trust you fully with this♥

The fact that they are ready to kill each other before they have normal conversation about their feeling is my fetish. I am in love with toxic things. Ciel ready to throw all game just to prove Sebastian that his value is not only his soul, right after he told himself for 1000 times he needs to stay on distance..... I LOVE ITTTT!!! I also need to say that you find PERFECT balance for good plot and romance. Your games and their cases...I just don't know, deep bow for you queen🔥💯After all, you didn't retype drama ahahaha but you manage to keep it canon without changing anything but still adding your spices so it's not ordinary Kuro plot we see every day....

I just have one question. From time to time, I was like a Bard ahahhaha, so sick of their games and my head hurting me, but on a good way. I am clear about Ciel but what about Sebastian and his disgust for Ciel's nicer, soft, emotional side? I know Ciel doesn't have it a lot, but would Sebastian still be grossed out about it as he was at the beginning of a contract or not? Keeping in mind that he is more and more obsessed with a boy?

So, that's all. I don't know how to use Patreon/PayPal, but for you I'll try cuz I only have credit card and that's all I know ahhahaha, I like to keep money in my hands😂 I'm sad about the situation in your country and all under - war countries. It's not bringing any good for anyone, specially for civilians. I hope you are okay and I wish you alll the best, the good karma must hit you really quickly cuz you made one person really, really happy here♥

Looking forward how will you finish this story, have a nice day❤

PS - this is the longest comment for fic I have ever left ahhaha, it's crazy how you got me sooo hyped up bjcvsdghvbds.

Hi! Ooh, thank you so much for your amazing, wonderful essay! I can't tell you how happy it made me! I think the electricity was already started being cut off when I got it, so I could see I have some really lengthy ask, but it wouldn't load. It was the torture of the most delicious kind :D

Like you, I've been reading fics for ages now, and the moments where I find some fantastic story that won't let me sleep or work or even blink are always the happiest and the brightest spots I remember. So it's extremely flattering to know that my story has become something similar to other people.

I love writing about smart characters, but most of them are definitely smarter than me! The benefit is that since I'm writing, I can think and plan everything in advance. In real life, I only wish I were as quick-witted and inventive. Alas, the best ideas and arguments come to me when they are no longer needed.

I love slow burns, and I love characters who abhor the idea of expressing their feelings, so Ciel and Sebastian have the most perfect dynamic in my eyes. I feel like I could spend the eternity just enjoying their Gothic world with their games, arguments, plots, and so on. Them antagonizing each other only to instantly team up against the common enemy is my most favorite thing in the world.

As for your question, right now, Sebastian would be thrilled if Ciel were to show a softer and more vulnerable side - at least in relation to him. Well, a part of him would feel the automatic need to mock him for it anyway, some habits don't die easily, but Sebastian's feelings have evolved a lot, plus Ciel is cold more often than he is not. So Sebastian treasures every word of praise, every hint of appreciation and need because they are so rare - he's come to crave them, and he has memorized all known cases of them by heart.

And no worries about supporting me! I really appreciate you taking your time to leave such a fantastic review, it made my day!

[persnickettes]

War of Faith fics!

So @stultiloquentia told me to link my fic here on Tumblr! In truth I've been remiss about sharing my complete War of Faith obsession here, but I am so, so obsessed. This show isn't even stealth m/m romance, as far as I'm concerned, it's just a straightforward BL about these two and their intense smoldering obsession with each other, masquerading as political idealism, but no one here is fooled, I mean look at them look at them

like if you haven't watched show yet you're sleeping on not only one of THE best c-dramas in recent memory, with stellar acting and edge-f-your-seat action and layered writing and intricate direction and absolutely gorgeous production design, but one of the most satisfying queer subtexts of any show ever.

um. which is to say i have been trying very hard to make this fandom happen by way of writing fics in a variety of shapes and sizes, and i haven't linked any of them here yet but if anyone would like to read them, here they are!

All fics are Shen Tunan/Wei Ruolai.

Out of his system. 1,269 words. Just a short scene and a quick bit of shenlai suit kink because i couldn't take their blazing UST anymore. Written after episode 8, which was 5 eps before the show actually gave us canonical shenlai suit kink?!?! This show, I swear. I swear!!!!

Wedding night. 3,385 words. Written after episode 16 and the epic staircase wedding ceremony. Just taking things to the obvious next level.

Ask a Manager: My boss is showing blatant favoritism to my coworker. This is just a silly meme I wrote based on the actual AAM blog before Congyun's longsuffering got kinda sad actually.

of a feather. 5,657 words. Kind of a pre-canon AU that posits spy!handler Shen Tunan, meeting a teen Wei Ruolai. Cue mutual obsession. I was so obsessed with this headcanon, I had to write it.

鵬程萬里. 1,130 words. A sort of stream-of-consciousness ramble from Ruolai's pov on becoming half of an intense soulmate bond, look i didn't say any of this was restrained.

Okay and here finally is an actual fic fic, except not because it started out as just a series of 5+1 sketches and then became a fic in the second half despite my best efforts.

So I guess when I say I've been "writing fic" for this pairing I just mean I've been frantically coughing up loosely formed ideas hoping something sticks and might inspire other people to watch this show and join me in this pit because holy christ this pairing is off the chain— hot, sexy, mutually obsessed, so fucking smart and competent and obsessed with each other's briliance, so completely capable of trading who doms who in the relationship while equally capable of forming a lifetime lifestyle dom/sub partnership, 100% society elite power couple while also rough-and-ready rivals having intense soulmate bond sex in-between trying to fuck each other over for social justice, just an OTP for the ages.

sigh. just. shenlai everyone. SHENLAI.