#I honestly am about to fall asleep no grammar check is needed when you have god on you side

[starrycassi]

Hate, love, guilt, mothers. Aren't they all synonyms?

You can find part one of this au here, and two here. Also a quick explanation on who's Gloria here. Mild nsfw mention at the end. Like, super mild.

The grounds of the Goldenloin mansion are always breathtaking, it doesn't matter how many times Ballister's been here as a guest, as an intruder, as a knight, as a lover. The gardens are fantastic, and the structure makes him feel so, so tiny.

Standing here, looking at the dining table made for dozens and dozens of people, Ballister can't help but feel out of place. The maid that guided them here is mimicking their pose, right next to them, and Ballister signals to Ambrosius, tugging on his sleeve. There's no need for her to be here, too. She should be free to leave.

Ambrosius gets the memo and dismisses the poor girl, who leaves quietly and quickly. Ballister's skin itches.

In front of them rests a wonderful feast, colorful and appealing, even if some plates are covered with golden silverware, to protect the food from loosing it's flavor, or whatever. He can't help but wonder how many street kids are hungry right now — can't help but remember what it's like, to be alone and lost and begging for a crumb of bread, a sip of water, a simple plate of food and be denied and-

The echo of someone's steps brings him back to the present, and he stares at the woman as she walks in. Captain Gloria limps as she arrives, her golden hair down in a braid that reaches her lower back. She gleams at them, despite the clear pain that every step delivers to her system. Her eyes aren't quite focused.

Ambrosius suddenly goes still, fixing his posture.

The two of them just accept the silence, live in it, for the next couple of seconds. Gloria finally gets to the table and sits down slowly, hissing when she finally does so, reeking of alcohol and a splendid perfume. She's at the head of the chairs, and Ambrosius rounds up the table to sit right next to her. Ballister tries to follow him.

“Don't” orders the woman, her hand suddenly reaching out to grip Ballister's wrist. She tugs on him, making take a seat, too, at her left. Ambrosius stares at him with a questioning look, and he stares back with an even more questioning look. It's his mom that's acting weird, he should know what's going on.

They don't have to figure it out, though, because she explains it soon enough.

“You are not here as Ambrosius's guest, today. You're a suitor. Act accordingly or get out”

Her voice, cold and demanding, takes both of the boys by surprise. Gloria's and Ballister's relationship has never been a specially warm one, but all in all, he's always seen her as a stressed out woman who doesn't really care about anything but her work and her son. Everytime they've been together she's drunk, hurt, on duty, or in a weird combination of those options. She's never been openly hostile or mean to him, so he's left in unexplored grounds when her blue eyes are suddenly fixed on his face, pinning him to his seat and making his head spin with with dread and doubts.

“Mom, there's no need to-”

Ambrosius tries, he really tries, to reason with her. Gloria, who's whole body moves weirdly and limply, suddenly hits the table with her fist closed, and Ambrosius straightens up in his seat, body reacting before his mind does so, instincts ingrained on him urging him to obey and comply to orders, even the unspoken ones.

Ballister knows the look on Gloria's eyes — he's seen it before, only, not on her face — she's not only intoxicated, not merely wounded. She's full of regret, of fury, of pure and unfiltered anger. As soon as that knowledge hits him, he's filled with a strange sense of security, of comfort. She's mad and she's irrational, but he knows the reason of those feelings. She's merely a mother defending her child, a knight defending her loved ones.

Ballister is trying to do the same, and it's refreshing to see his own feelings of confusion and hatred mirrored into Gloria's face. He knows what her anger means, because his blood burns with the same heat, the same intensity.

“I'm sorry, Captain Gloria” he says, slowly and clearly. The nerves he felt all the way here disappear, leaving only his determination, his devotion. Gloria isn't against him. She's against anything that might hurt jer son, and that's a feeling Ballister not only understands, but shares, “It was awfully inadequate of me to act that way. I beg your forgiveness”

She smiles, woobly and unsteadily, at him. She's pleased with his words, clearly. He tries to remember the hours and hours of ranting that Ambrosius blessed his ears with every so often, complaining about stupid protocol lessons that his mother made him take.

“Very well” she nods at him, and he imitates the gesture. He quickly nods at Ambrosius, too, to try and reassure him. This will be okay. It has to.

Ambrosius's shoulders relax just the slightest bit at that, but he smiles, and talks again,

“I'm incredibly hungry, Mum. Why don't we eat before we discuss this, yeah?”

It's always surprising to Ballister, really, how adaptable Ambrosius is. One minute, he's a big dramatic performer for the Queen. The next, he's merely a child with a pleading voice, asking— no, begging, for some peaceful seconds with his mom.

“Yes, the food. Let's eat and talk business, shall we? That's not really an appropriate thing to do, I suppose, but I can make an exception, seeing as how you've had the guts to ask for my son's hand in marriage, cadet”

She claps, and servants lift the coverings. Some of their faces are recognizable to Ballister. Did they live in the same orphanage? Were they friends, and his mind has forgotten?

This is whst he hates about the Goldenloin mansion. This is what he hates about every single noble event ever. He simply resings himself to his fate, a rejected freak to the nobles and a traitor to the commoners. He tries to keep his eyes on the table, tries not to to think about how some of the people working for Ambrosius, serving him, probably have never even tried the kind of feast he's about to have.

Ballister's never been a religious person, but he prays for forgiveness, even if it's merely for a second. He prays for forgiveness, even if it's undeserved.

The steak in front of him suddenly loses its appeal. The nerves are back, just like that. He hates himself for that, for being so brave a second and then a complete coward in the other.

They simply eat, for some moments. Gloria sips her glass of red wine every so often, and both of the boys chew methodically on their steaks. Food is fuel, Ballister tries to remind himself, tasting guilt and shame in every bite, feeling as if he's chewing his own heart; food is fuel, and he needs fuel for this conversation.

That doesn't make the bitterness of the whole situation go away.

“You said you have a plan” accuses Gloria, after washing down a bit of her salad with wine, “but I'm yet to hear anything about it”

Ballister's first instinct is to roll his eyes, tell her that it's her who's been acting all weird and cranky, but he knows better than to go against an older knight, even if she's drunk and injured. She's also his mother-in-law, and he refuses to feed into the stereotype of in laws not getting along.

“The food just distracted us, mom, that's all. It's really good”

Gloria's face softens a bit, and she offers her son a quick sound of agreement.

“Still. I need to know what you two rascals are up to, don't I?”

As if she didn't just violently smash the table, she laughs a bit at her joke, muttering something about teenagers under her breath.

They do their best to explain themselves without setting her off again, Ambrosius providing Ballister with facial expressions that let him know when to shut up and when to keep going. At the end of it, their food is almost gone, Ballister's guilt is almost forgotten, and Gloria looks almost convinced.

"And what do you win, cadet?"

She looks feral, like a lion ready to chew down on it's prey. Ballister refuses to lose against her, not today.

"I get to see my boyfriend be happy. What else could I possibly want?"

Some of the servants seem too moved by his answer to hide their coos, but he doesn't dare look their way, too scared to find out that perhaps that truly are the kids that grew up on his same street, with his same dreams. He keeps his eyes fixed on Gloria's, blue and brown crashing and figthing.

"Sounds like bullshit to me. No one would do all that just for someone else's happiness or whatever"

She shakes her head in disagreement, and Ballister wants to scream at her, tell her that she doesn't know shit about them, that he would walk barefoot into a burning building if it meant saving Ambrosius. He doesn't.

"I don't need anything else" he says, instead, "I only want to make sure that my boyfriend has a choice and-"

"Okay, say you win" interrupts Gloria, looking bemused with him. He hates the way she stares him down like a mere child, "and the interviewer; because this will be televised, that's a no brainer, asks what do you want. What are you going to tell the kingdom?"

He doesn't even hesitate, before answering:

"I would ask for just enough money to pay back my debth with the house of Elpis and the Goldenloin house. Then, for Ambrosius's political allies to be a matter only he can have the final say on. Not you, or me, or anyone else"

She looks at him some more, as if trying to be intimidating. He doesn't budge.

"That is an honest answer" she finally says, nodding, "That's more believable. That, I can accept. I think"

She makes a show of considering things, tapping her index finger to her chin. They keep quiet, waiting for her verdict.

“It's a decent attempt” she concedes, after some seconds of humming to herself. "It's even a good idea"

They both sigh, relieved. She clicks her tongue, and shakes her head, again, like some sort of wet dog, and they feel not so relieved, now.

“But you two are openly... close to one another, right? Everyone knows. Can't do anything if you win and people question us, can we? About your little, well, romance, and all that”

Gloria never really acknowledges the fact that her son is dating Ballister, even if he did come out and confess the secret to her half a year ago, cracking under the pressure of a specially though new years party. It gives Ambrosius some sort of dumb hope, that perhaps his mom might actually start taking his own free will into account and validating his love for Ballister. Even if she always says that that's something she already does.

“We're still trying to figure out what to do with that, Mum”

She laughs some more, making him feel stupid. Ballister looks as confused as he feels when she merely giggles at their faces, gulping down the rest of her drink. A servant refills it immediately.

“You kids are so slow, nowadays” she flaps her hand, rolling her eyes, “a mere fight will be enough. In a public space, obviously. Be nasty about it. My friends and I used to do it when we wanted to get a rise out of our parents. Neat trick”

And, with that piece of advice, she keeps on drinking.

.

Ambrosius excuses them both out of the table when they're done, leaving Captain Gloria to drunkenly mumble nonsense to herself.

The halls of the mansion are spacious and lonely, so they're able to walk together, holding hands, without a care in the world. Ambrosius has grown up here, was raised here. He knows and trusts the staff to keep a couple of secrets.

“She seems… a bit agitated” Ballister says, softly. Gloria has been a sore spot for their conversations ever since the start of their friendship, and they mostly try to avoid talking about her. But if feels wrong, to be in her house and pretend she doesn't exist.

“She's got a dislocated hip” Ambrosius answers, voice impregnated with pity, “Must hurt a lot. She was distracted with this whole thing and a thief managed to hit her real hard…”

He stares at the floor, but they keep on walking to Ambrosius's bedroom. After lunch, Gloria has practically demanded for them to stay until dinner, arguing that they have already lost most of the day, anyways. Neither one of them dared go against her word.

“I'm happy she's mad. At least I'm not the only one worried about your ass”

“I can assure you, Ballister, your thoughts about my ass are really, really different from her thoughts about it. At least I hope so”

Hip bumping his boyfriend for being an idiot, Ballister blushes a bit. Ambrosius does have a nice body.

“Don't be weird about this, Amber. We're literally talking about you mom”

“No, you are talking about her. I'm talking about people's thoughts on my ass. That's a whole different conversation”

“Not a specially interesting one, I'm sure. Much like your very flat ass”

Ambrosius gasps, offended, just as they reach the doors of his bedroom. He makes a show of dramatically slamming the door, just to open it back again mere seconds later, sticking out his tongue at Ballister before allowing him to come in.

“Keep this treatment up, and I'm actually marrying Todd” he threatens, and Ballister half heartedly pushes him.

“Okay, your ass is not flat. Just… sort of concave. Happy?”

“Not so much. But, alas, I'm not really dating a poet, am I? My heart has chosen you, even with your horrible mistreatments towards my figure”

They laugh at the stupidity of the situation, as if guilt isn't eating Ballister alive, as if Ambrosius isn't worried to death for his mom, as if the world isn't collapsing and burning around them.

They take of their shoes, and get into bed, cuddling with each other almost immediately, used to it after years and years of practice. Ballister rests his cheek on Ambrosius's chest, and they hold hands, tangling their legs. This is incredibly inappropriate to do on Ambrosius's house, with his mom meter away, but everything around them feels so wrong right now that this is the closest they can get to normal.

The events of the last few hours settle in. Panic comes back, alongside with every other emotion that they have been trying to run away from. It's scary, to admit that perhaps they could fail. They could be wrong. Ambrosius understands why his mom seems to be in denial all of the time; it's easier to pretend that something is not happening than to deal with the fact that it is.

The room is quiet. They're just teens.

“I'm nervous”

“Me, too. I'm terrified”

“Yeah. Me, too”

And it's just them, their fears and their breaths, for a second. There's nothing else but them. But reality is always there, waiting, and it comes with paperwork and legalities and many, many other things. It's them against the world, even if they would really, really like to just make peace with everyone and sleep until winter.

To avoid silence — because it comes with too many questions, too many memories, too many reminders — Ballister decides to keep on with their plan, furthering it, and asks, “So, now, we fake fight?”

“I think it's the best choice we have, right? Mom said so”

Ambrosius, always eager to follow Gloria's word, seems to perk up. Ballister feels slightly annoyed, but at least his boyfriend looks a little less like a kicked kitten.

“And what are we figthing about, uh?”

This is scary, too. Yeah, a fake figth. That's something they should be able to manage. But there's some issues, here and there, and perhaps they're just waiting for a chance to come out. This could be that chance. And there's no way they're going to actually live apart from each other, but they have to, right? So it's believable.

“What about something stupid? Like, I don't know, jazz?”

“Ambrosius, you know very well how I feel about-”

To stop his boyfriend from going on yet another campaign of hate against freestyle jazz, Ambrosius gives him a quick kiss on the hair, successfully making him shut up.

“Kay, not jazz. What, then?”

“Let's fight about this. I'll be jealous, you'll scream at me for being jealous, and we'll break up. Call me a selfish insecure asshole, or something”

Ambrosius immediately pants like a wounded animal, frowning. He makes Ballister get up slightly, to make sure he can see his eyes. They're full of love. Pure, solid, love.

“I don't ever want to hurt you, Bal”

Ballister chokes on air, because this isn't fair. Ambrosius is so pretty, resting on the mattress, looking up at him. No one else but him should ever get to see him like this. Specially not some imbecile who thinks figthing for him is enough to get married.

“It's just going to be a play-pretend situation, Amber. I don't wanna hurt you, either, but it's going to be just a couple of days. Then, we're back to normal”

Ambrosius ponders on it, pouting. But he finally nods, agreeing.

“Fine. We're hating each other from now on”

.

The next time Ballister wakes up, they're back at the Institute, half naked, fused together like a pretzel. Perhaps they got a bit too sentimental when they came back, and perhaps they stole a couple of sips from Gloria's wine reserve. A make out session had been the start of their so called hate, and Gloreth, did they suck at this.

“Ambrosius. Ambrosius, wake up. Ambrosius, fucking move”

With a bit more of force than needed, he shakes his boyfriend, trying to get him to open up his eyes. Ambrosius attempts to do so and also get up, miscalculating, and falling face first to the floor.

Shit.

Hurrying up to help him, Ballister trips, too. The wine is still in their systems, apparently, and it makes them laugh like idiots as soon as their gazes cross.

“Shit. We're supposed to be figthing, Amber”

“I'm pretty sure last night counts as a form of combat. Sword figths, one may call it”

“Shut the fuck up, honestly. Just, for once, shut up”

“Only if you kiss me, babe"

Okay, maybe they aren't suited for a divorce yet. Ballister got up, grunting, and Ambrosius followed suit, if only because the floor is way too cold to be laying on it with nothing but a boxer and shorts on. He smiled at the wall when he managed to stand up on his own two feet, still dizzy.

“What now, Bal?”

Ballister struggled to put his shirt back on, trying to remember where the fuck his shoes where. It was early, still. If he hurried up, he could sneak out without anyone seeing him.

“Dont ask me. This whole thing was your plan. Think, Ambrosius; for the first time in your life, think”

Ambrosius threw the nearest object at his ungrateful boyfriend, and rolled his eyes when the comb impacted against the desk. Turns out his aim gets affected by alcohol. Who could've thought?

“What was that for?!” Hisses Ballister, barely managing to get done with his clothes. Ambrosius's loopy smile only grew bigger at the sight, and he looked so much like his mom, for a second. Just a second.

“We're figthing, love. I think this is how figths are supposed to go, right?”

And he threw a hair cream bottle, that impacted on the wall.

Ballister opened up the door, just in time for the notebook Ambrosius threw to go flying through it. Some cadets were already out, curious about the noise. Ambrosius, drunk and ad impulsive as his mother, grinned with pleasure. Yes, a public fight, indeed.

“And get out!” he screamed, remembering the way his mother looked at him yesterday, feeling the tears burning on the very corners of his eyes, hating her stare and wishing she looked at him more often “I don't want to talk to you ever again, you hear me?!”

A pillow was thrown. Ballister fought down the urge to burst out laughing. This felt so much like a cheap soap opera.

“It's not my fault you're a coward!” He screamed back, wine helping him come up with the words, “Go and die for all I care, Golden Boy! Hang yourself from a fucking tower, I don't give a shit!”

More and more people came in to witness the situation. Had he been sober, Ballister probably would've stopped. He wasn't, though.

“You're so jealous!” Screeched Ambrosius, like he meant it, “You're just jealous of my suitors being way better than you, you prick!”

Ballister kneeled down, picked up the fallen pillow, and threw it right back at it's owner. Ambrosius barely contained his cackles.

“I'll enter the fucking tournament just so I can disown you, Ambrosius! You don't deserve all that money!”

They were losing the plot a bit, but it didn't really matter. A figth is a figth, no matter the reasons.

“Do whatever you want, Ballister! You're never winning, never !”

Next, a sweater came in, balled up, flying. This one actually hit Ballister on the eye, and he had to take a step back, surprised. Ouch.

“We'll see about that, you idiot!”

With a final heated stare, Ballister turned around, bitting down his tongue to dissimulate the giggles.

.

As soon as he got into his room and locked his door, Ballister opened up his cellphone, already missing his boyfriend's arms. He found a couple of drunken voicemails Ambrosius had already sent his way, and a couple of pictures that matched the vibe of their last night.

Smiling, he got into his own bed, hiding under the sheets. Perhaps intense figths weren't such a bad idea for their relationship, after all.

[goldenempyrean]

hi! can u do the long day scenario, with reader as a and wanda as b? extra fluff pls!!

Snuggles And Soup

Heyyyy! This is kinda shorter then I would've liked but I wanted to get this out so I can catch up on all my req's I still need to do :))

Note: this hasnt really been grammar checked so apologies for any mistakes :p

Summary: Wanda comes home to a silent house and a sick girlfriend.

Wordcount:873

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The house was silent when Wanda unlocked the door and stepped inside. How strange. There hadn't been a time where Wanda had seen the house this quiet when you were home. Usually the sound of you cooking, watching TV or just the radio would provide some sort of background noise but there was nothing. 

“Y/N?” Wanda called out curiously, hanging up her coat on the rack. 

No response. Maybe you had headphones on? That could explain it, Wanda thought to herself and she peeked her round to look into the kitchen. Jeez! Wanda stared at the messy kitchen in awe, you weren't one to ever leave a mess. Where were you? Wandering into the living room it was there where Wanda got her answer. 

Her face morphed into a small sympathetic smile as she saw you curled up on the sofa huddled underneath your weighted blanket. It was also as she got closer her smile faded as she noticed a small pile of crumped tissues on the floor next to the sofa accompanied by an empty bottle of Dayquil laying sideways on the ground. 

“Oh sweetie...” She sighed, kneeling down next to your sleeping form. It was there where she could properly assess your condition. Your closed eyes had small tired bags beneath them and your forehead was prickled with small beads of sweat fuelled by your fever flushed cheeks. She carefully raised a hand and pressed the back of her palm to your forehead then gently moved her hand down to carefully cup your cheek, you made a sleepy noise as you felt the coolness of her hand. Wanda shushed you gently but her brows furrowed at the heat coming from you.  

“What am I going to do with you.” She spoke quietly running her hand through your hair. She stood up and tiptoed to the kitchen and grabbed the small trash can. She placed it next to you and deposited your already used tissues within in, not caring about your germs. Now, all she had to do was sort out that kitchen... 

It was about an hour later before you began to stir. You tiredly rubbed at your eyes as you slowly opened them.  

“Hey sleepyhead.” Wanda cooed, looking up from her book which she’d been silently reading from the opposite sofa, “You get some good sleep?” 

“I thought the medicine was non-drowsy…” You admitted quietly with a sniffle, “When did you get- Heh-H’iischiew! - home? 

“Bless you! It was a little after 6, just a couple of hours ago.” She answered, levitating a box of tissues into your lap, “What time did you fall asleep?” 

You shrugged. Honestly you couldn’t even remember laying down. You’d woken up that morning feeling kinda rough but not terrible, it was only after you’d spent the whole day cleaning and doing chores when you exhaustion set it. It was as if everything had hit you all at once and now... Well now you just felt like utter crap. 

You groaned and pushed yourself up, your limbs and blanket dragging behind you as you trudged over to the sofa where Wanda was sat. She tapped her knees, letting you curl up on her, resting your head against her chest. 

“You know, I could’ve just come over to you.” She chuckled, slowly running her fingers down your arm. Your stomach made a small grumble betraying your efforts at hiding your hunger, “You eaten anything today sweetie?” 

The way your eyes moved to the floor was all the answer she needed. “We can't have that sweetheart.” Wanda asserted gently, reaching down to grab her phone, “You fancy ordering something in?” 

“Jino’s?” You had a small sparkle in your eyes. Jino’s was yours and Wanda’s all-time favourite takeout place. They offered so many different options and somehow managed to ensure the quality of everything was amazing. 

“Sure.” She smiled, pressing a soft kiss to your temple as she dialled the number. 

“Hello? Hi, I’d like to place an order for takeout-” You felt a prick in your nose and within a monent you had to stifle your sneeze, making your whole body shake as your tried to make zero noise. You still hadn't quite relieved your itch but it seemed you were able to hold it back, for now. Wanda mouthed a silent ‘bless you’ before continuing, “One chicken noodle soup, soft noodles and a portion of Chicken Paprikash. Yep, that’s it. Thank you.” Wanda finished up the order before turning back to you. 

You were still pawing at your nose, desperate to relieve yourself of the annoying tickle. Wanda saw your struggle and booped your nose with her finger, and that seemed to do the trick. 

You quickly turned and buried your twitching nose into your blanket, “Hih’tschiew!... Hh..H’iishiew!... Heh... Hep’tsshiew!” You groaned as you lifted your head and replaced it back against Wanda.   

“Goodness honey, bless you!” Wanda’s gentle hand moved down to tuck the strand of hair which had fallen Infront of your face back behind your ear. “Let's just cuddle until our food gets here, then maybe we can watch a movie before getting you into bed.” 

You smiled, feeling grateful for every moment that led you to this situation.  

“Sounds good to me.” 

[blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk]

Do you perhaps have any more headcanons pertaining to the reader and wolfram raising sieglinde?

of course!!

a couple of these touch on posts I’ve made about the concept, but there’s some other stuff mixed in too hehehe

I LOVE THEIR LITTLE FAMILY SO MUCH <3

Because she can’t walk unassisted and prefers not to use her ‘spider walker’ at night, Wolfram checks on Sieglinde periodically throughout the evening after she falls asleep. Like most children, (particularly traumatized children like her), she may occasionally have nightmares. If she does, one of two things will happen. Either Wolfram will lie down in her bed with her and you, after waking up to find him gone, will come join them… or he’ll carry her into your bed, simply stating, “Our little girl had a bad dream,” and she’ll cuddle up there with you both for the night. Either way it always makes her feel safe and loved.

Given how, er… slow Wolfram can be in preparing meals, especially in the morning, another pair of hands helping Sieglinde get ready ― get dressed, wash her face, etc. ― is appreciated. She loves it when you help her pick out clothing, mainly because you and Wolfram let her wear whatever she likes as long as she’s dressed presentably. She can even wear trousers if she wants to! Plus, you always know what looks good on her. And the time you spend doing her hair before breakfast is wonderful for bonding.

The two of you try quite hard to homeschool her, but it’s not easy to get her interested in anything which isn’t science. Or sometimes math. Thankfully, she’s good at English and grammar because of you, and she’s somewhat okay with history. She just dreads doing assignments where she can’t choose the topic. Analyzing books and mulling over fractions bore her to tears. It’s up to you to make the things she doesn’t enjoy fun for her, so she gets all the education and enrichment she needs. Of course, Wolfram tries to help where he can; he’s learned a few tricks by now!

Family outings?? Well, sort of. You go on outings to talk to the Queen, and to maybe do some business with Ciel. Oh, and Sieglinde has rather made friends with Lizzie, so she stops over there quite a bit as well. Sometimes she uses her spider walker, sometimes you or Wolfram will carry her around. The biggest problem with outings like this is that she gets self-conscious around most people, because, honestly, most people see her as ‘that weird little German girl with mechanical spider legs’. Of course, you and Wolfram have none of anyone who tries to bully or intimidate her. Not only that, there’s no question you indulge her by taking her into sweets shops and letting her just act like a child!

You’re all living in Ciel’s townhouse, so… sometimes Agni and Soma babysit. She adores them, and this way you and Wolfram can have a breather. Despite the fact that you love her very much, both of you could use a break now and again. Even better, usually you return to find Soma snoring on the couch while Sieglinde is perched on his back, fiddling with a light bulb and trying to do… something… with it… and Agni is trying to gently convince her that it’s time for bed. They try their best, but, ah… you and Wolfram will take back over now.

Are your parents/siblings still alive and you’re on good terms with them? Congratulations, Sieglinde now has grandparents and/or aunts/uncles!! And, well, also Wolfram has… new parents and siblings. Because of course they absolutely love him. If his parents were ever in his life at all, he doesn’t remember them, and the closest he had to siblings were brothers-in-arms who he wasn’t that bonded with; he’s awkward about it, but he enjoys having parental and sibling figures of his own given that he lacked them growing up. And for Sieglinde to have more family, people who can call her their granddaughter or niece? It’s just wonderful.

One day, Sieglinde will walk up to you and say, “I’ve decided I am ready for a little sister. When will you and Wolfram have a baby?” And you better hope you’re not drinking anything when it happens, because that’s an immediate choking-on-your-beverage moment. She’s just so blunt about it ― give her a baby sister! How many business days will that request take to be processed???

[arinbelle]

Nesta + Cassian One-Shot

Note: This was written before ACOSF so...bear with me I suppose? Like yeah, Nesta is a witch who does blood magic and yes they live in Illyria. Nesta will never not be a witch for me, even in post-ACOSF fics. Like I will never not try to sneak in witchy elements because...come on! Witch Nesta!!!!

But anyways, this fic was in my drafts since...November? Of last year? Too long, way too long, and honestly it just needs to go. It was also not supposed to be this long but I went a little overboard and so it is what it is. I also just read the best most heartbreaking Nesta fic ever so I did not edit this, I am simply too shattered. So I’m letting this one-shot out into the wild without Grammar Check- apologies in advance. Let me know what you think! I haven’t written in so long and I love to hear feedback.

Summary: Nesta gets worried when Cassian is late to return home from a mission. She decides to do a locating spell and it doesn’t go according to plan. 

~*~

Promises- 7.2k words

The first day she ignored it. That niggling feeling of unease that had wormed its way into the pit of her stomach and wouldn’t leave her be. She learned to suppress her attention away from it that entire day. And when she couldn’t fall asleep because it wasn’t going away, she knocked back two fingers of whiskey and resolutely made up her mind to let it go. 

Sleep came, albeit fitfully, but it did come.

The second day was more difficult. No one was around to distract her. Emerie was busy with work that she refused to let Nesta help with. Perhaps her friend thought Nesta was absolutely idiotic and could not scent the Morrigan lurking upstairs in Emerie’s bedroom. The healers weren’t busy at all either, mostly because all the males that could have been injured were with Cassian, who was not here.

He wasn’t here.

He wasn’t here and it was killing her. He had said the trip should take a week at most. Going to the different camps and royal families high in the Illyrian mountains. Trying to rally support and tentative alliances should another conflict emerge.

Well it had been a week. And now it had been more.

The following night, nothing helped to keep the nightmares away. Not a glass of wine with dinner at an empty table. It reminded her too much of Cassian’s food and how much she missed it. Not a ridiculous smutty novel with horrible banter between the two characters. It made her crave the heated flirting with Cassian instead. She awoke screaming to a myriad of images painfully branded into her mind.

Cassian beheaded. Cassian’s wings torn to shreds. Cassian with a dagger to the chest. Cassian being hanged. Cassian being tortured. Cassian being drowned. Cassian screaming for her. 

Cassian never coming home.

By the third day she had had it.

Enough of this. 

Something was wrong. That was the only explanation as to why he was three days late to returning home. She had to figure out a way to at least check up on him, if not bring him back to her right this second. She could ask Rhys. He would probably know or at least be able to find out. But Nesta didn’t want Rhys to be aware of how worried she was. Even if she did, it took a lot of energy out of Nesta to bring herself to willingly interact with her sister’s husband. 

So she went to the next person she could count on to find out about Cassian.

Herself.

Cassian had warned her to be careful when doing blood magic. That it was volatile magic on the best of days and crippling on the worst. That even though he knew she had come very far in her control of her powers, there were some aspects to witchcraft that even she should not delve into. Too bad Nesta didn’t make it a habit to listen to Cassian.

The Grimoire was cracked in its spine, the binding was falling apart, and yet, Nesta adored it. It had been found by her and Cassian when they had visited an abandoned Illyrian village on the northernmost border. The village had reminded her of the one Cassian had been born in- but this one did not have the darkness of pain and brutality gouged into its essence. It was abandoned but there was something lovely about the remaining thrum of magic left there. She had found the book in a crumbling hut, waiting for Cassian while he had scouted the area in response to reports of creeping ancient beasts terrorizing the neighboring inhabited camp.

The first step in the spell was blood. Self-explanatory if you asked Nesta. 

But no one actually did ask Nesta, too afraid of what nefarious spells she could cast her way, which Nesta found highly amusing. She really didn’t know why the Illyrians were so high strung about witches. She was an over glorified cook on most days- following the recipes of potions and chanting her incantations alongside it. Of course she knew it was a rare art and not something just anyone could do. And Nesta could do all nasty sorts of damage if she really wanted to, especially with the vicious possibilities she had read about in the Grimoire. 

She hadn’t found a victim yet that had bothered her just enough to go after them with her spells. Well, she had a list of potential victims, but apparently irritating her wasn’t actually a crime. But there was always tomorrow. Cassian didn’t find that particular joke as funny as she did.

After she gathered about a half a cup of the crimson liquid, sloppily bandaging her forearm, she began following the diagrams drawn on the yellowing pages that she was to copy. The finished product was a mess of symbols of another world and letters of the old Illyrian language. She had Cassian and Emerie to thank for her new ability to speak both the dialects. Cassian knew the old tongue because he had been a little older than her, when it had still been spoken, and about a century old when it began to lose prominence. Emerie taught her the common dialect that had formed through centuries of mixing with the Common Tongue as well as southern influences from traders and foreign warriors that came to train with the legions. 

The Grimoire utilized the one Cassian had taught her, and as her lips began to move in her intonations, she was reminded of how his lips had formed the syllables when she was first learning. How he had spoken them to her for hours and she still wasn’t grasping them. So he had tried a different method- of speaking them into her skin directly. His lips had danced over the blades of her shoulders, the hollow of her throat, saying deliciously sinful things into her crevices and curves, tongue flicking out every few inches to keep her aware that this was still a lesson- and that playing for real could come later if she was a good student. Nesta had learned her alphabet fairly quickly after that. 

She finished with a flourish of her wrists and sat back down, kneeling on the hardwood floor, waiting for the spell to deliver its promise.

Nothing. 

A minute crept by. Then two. Then three. Still nothing. 

Her legs were starting to go numb. How much longer should she wait? Nesta frowned and spared a glance at the opened page beside her. Had she done something incorrectly? It didn’t happen very often. Actually never. Nesta didn’t mess up her spells. It was an inane thing to hold bragging rights over but damn it, she really just was that good.

So why-

Pain lanced through her, as if a whip covered in fire and poison had been slashed at her insides. She fell over, clutching her stomach in agony, mouth open in a silent scream. She could not move. She could not scream. Nesta thought she could feel her blood boiling in her veins, bursting through the vessels and hemorrhaging as the spell’s foul counterpart began to work on draining her of life.

The Cauldron...

Gods, even the Cauldron hadn’t hurt her to this degree when she’d been shoved under the murky, black waters. 

This is it. This is how it ends. Stupid, stupid, stupid. You just couldn’t leave well enough alone could you? You’re going to die and Cassian is going to return completely fine and unharmed to a corpse in his house. 

Nausea found her in the despair of pain and soon she was hurling up the contents of her stomach into the symbols that were now just a bloody mess. A mess because tears were beginning to blur her vision and all she could make out was a red glow around the edges of her vision. It was not the red of Cassian’s siphons and the metallic tang of her blood in the air did not calm her as Cassian’s siphons always promised to do.

She passed in and out of consciousness for...hours? Days? She didn’t know. Time stopped existing amongst the torment occurring in her body. And when she finally came to without passing back out from the pain or dehydration for a solid half hour, Nesta made the decision to try and move. It was difficult at first. Her joints were stiff from the inactivity and spasms she had just committed, and as she stood on wobbly legs, the scent of the vomit threatened to knock her back out. It was stupid to do it, risky even, but she waved a hand and some small recess of power that was left cleared away the mess on the ground and off of her clothes. The scent was still there though- of her sick, of the dark magic, of her blood. But she would deal with that later.

She was only satisfied after cleaning out her mouth twice with the spearmint paste that burned her tongue and gums further. When she sank into the scalding water of the bath she had prepared for herself, she let out a soft sigh of relief, and her muscles slowly loosened their tension.

Nesta saw the night sky from the bathroom window and briefly wondered what time it was. Hell, she didn’t even know what day it was anymore. 

As Nesta finished rinsing her hair with one of Cassian's soap and as his scent surrounded her, she thought she could cry. Wood and spice and forest. She desperately wished she had gone out and restocked her own toiletries now. She'd run out a few weeks ago and simply raided Cassian’s supply. He hadn't said anything but she noticed the predatory gleam in his eyes when she came out smelling like him.

Territorial fae males and their nonsense.

Not that she was any better. If it were another time she would use it to keep him close, as if his arms were completely wrapped around her and his scent enveloped her whole being. But Cassian was not here and her attempts to locate him had been fruitless. Suddenly her mind was flooded with images from her nightmares of Cassian hurt, and Nesta was about to scream aloud when she heard it.

A door opening. Boots scuffing the floor before being kicked off and hitting the wall. Weapons noisily clattering to the ground in that damned spot she always told him not to put them.

He moved slowly through the hallway, slower than usual, and she could feel how tired he was within herself. That ragged bone deep exhaustion. Nesta silently cursed to herself for not properly cleaning up. The mess of her spell with the blood and her sick was gone but the scent would persist. The feeling of the old magic would not have gone by now and Cassian was about to walk right into the room.

She heard it. The slight trip in his gait as he came to a halt in their sitting room and she suddenly felt panic deep in her gut. His panic, not hers. His breathing faltered for a few seconds and then she heard the slam of his feet as he ran through the house and up the stairs, calling her name.

"Nesta!," he shouted just as he threw open the bathroom door.

He took her in, eyes frantically roaming over her submerged form, his chest rising and falling rapidly. She could hear his hammering heartbeat.

Whole.

Sound.

Alive.

She almost began sobbing right then and there. He was safe and he was home. And she had just gone through the most horrific backfire a spell had ever done to her. It was all too much suddenly and she had to tense every muscle in her body to keep the tears at bay.

"What happened?," he demanded. "I smelled blood and...your Grimoire it...what were you doing Nesta?"

She didn't trust herself to answer without breaking down completely so she sunk lower into the bathwater and closed her eyes.

He didn't move for a minute, but then when she still didn't answer, he began undressing with a heavy sigh. She heard the rasp of leathers moving off of his skin and then even more smaller daggers and the like falling to the ground from whatever pockets he had hidden them in. She tried to keep her eyes closed, she really did. But it couldn’t be helped. Her eyes followed his naked form walk into the standing washroom, taking in that muscled back, the tucked in wings, and the swirling tattoos that glistened on his sweat soaked skin that almost sparkled as the spray of water hit him. She really should have looked away. If he caught her staring he'd demand answers again. But Cassian was Nesta's weakness and she seldom could resist him.

It took every ounce of steel in her to get out of the bathwater and leave the bathing room before he was done with his shower, rather than throw open the door and join him. Really, she should have been rewarded for such fine exhibition of self control.

He found her combing through her wet hair in his bedroom. Now hers too she supposed. He did not approach her though. Didn't even look at her. He plopped straight onto the bed and threw a hand over his eyes, feigning what she knew to be ignorance.

She scowled at him. The audacity. Didn't he know how worried sick she'd been?

Literally sick actually.

Her slightly shaking hands continued brushing her hair long past when it was done, until it began frizzing. She scowled again then at the reflection staring back. 

Damn him.

Damn him for being late and damn him for coming back at the worst time ever. And screw him for leaving her alone in the first place and making her worry so much.

But she shouldn’t think like that. She needed to sleep now.

Her eyes had faint violet smudges under them, forming a light bruise that screamed of desperation. How easy would it be for Cassian to know she hadn’t slept even once properly through the night since he’d been gone? He’d likely know right away considering it was Cassian and it was about Nesta. 

Her skin had taken on a wan color and Nesta knew she looked sick. Possibly on the verge of collapsing again. Debating with her pride took a few minutes but it was then decided that if she passed out on the floor and cracked her head open, it would be more embarrassing than fainting on the bed. She quickly got up and scurried over to the bed, keeping to the far side and careful not to be too close to him.

Never mind that she craved the warmth of his solid arms around her. Never mind that she desperately needed to feel his heartbeat should she lay her head down on his chest. She didn't move any closer no matter how much she may have desired it.

Nesta had wanted Cassian for herself from the moment she’d seen him. And she had him now. One night wouldn’t kill her. 

It wasn’t as if they were particularly happy with the other anyways.

There was a heavy silence between them and she hated it. Usually for Nesta, who could only tolerate so much noise until it began irritating her, and Cassian who always needed to be talking and joking, they worked surprisingly well when they sat in calm silence together. But this was not that light hearted peace they shared together. No this was thick and creating a tangled, thorny barrier between them. Because Cassian knew Nesta was lying. And Nesta knew Cassian could tell. And neither would ever own up to it first.

So she lay silently beside him, feigning sleep. Cassian did the same on his side, although she could have sworn he turned his head slightly towards her every few minutes.

Nesta fell asleep listening to his methodical breathing, curled into her side and facing away from him. When she woke again, sometime in early morning where it was still dark out, he had moved in his sleep and a leg was thrown over her thigh. She could have moved it off of her, probably waking him up. He wouldn't object either. He never forced himself into her personal space anymore, even though they were now more at peace with each other.

But Nesta decided she didn't feel like pushing him away anymore, and that he had a right to know what she was up to if he asked again. If she'd ended up dead he definitely would have found out anyways. And for now, she wanted to enjoy his presence without the fight that was no doubt going to happen. So she carefully tucked closer into his side and put her head into the crook of his neck, trying her best not to wake-

"Mmm...Nesta?"

Damn. Did nothing want to go her way today?

She whispered back a yes, feeling strange about being too loud when the world outside seemed to have gone utterly still. In thrall at what would become of them perhaps, the minute she told him the truth. 

He didn't open his eyes, just wrapped a strong arm around her waist and tugged her closer, her legs completely tangling with his.

"Are we fighting again?,” the question came out as a sigh from him.

She had to laugh. "I wasn't aware we had begun the first time."

He opened his eyes at that. And scowled.

She sighed, "No we aren't fighting."

Cassian pulled back for a moment to take her in, and she missed the warmth he had been providing. She was about to ask him to come back, to hell with her pride, but he did it himself. Curled all of her into him, pressing them close in all the right ways that, if they weren’t in this fight that wasn’t really a fight, she wouldn’t have hesitated to take off all their clothes and join herself to him.

“Will you tell me what happened today?” His words were calm and much too polite for her liking. She did not like Cassian calm and patient with her. It made her feel like a nuisance. Like a fragile woman that needed to be treated like fine china, or else she would shatter completely. Did he not remember all the times when he met her bark for bite, shouts for hisses? When he had raised his voice just as loud as hers, louder even, until she was reduced to a mess of tears that he had no idea how to undo? 

No he did. He remembered, and ever since, he made it a point to be anything but the gruff Commander with her. And if it weren’t so damn sweet, she’d yell at him for that too- for the special treatment she never asked for, but had always silently cried for.

Nesta shook her head though, unable to form the words that would be her undoing.

Cassian dragged a finger lightly over her cheekbone and she lifted her eyes just a fraction towards his own. It was not a heated kiss when he pressed his lips to her own. Something could lead to more which is what they were prone to do more often than not. Which was also why it’s innocent nature didn’t last for very long.

Soon enough it became more demanding and she gave herself wholly to it while she still could. And right on cue, Cassian pulled away first after a few minutes.

She knew this game. She knew how it was played considering she’d been the first of the two to even initiate it. 

That time, months ago, he’d asked her if she would prefer a traditional Illyrian dish for dinner, or if she wanted him to prepare something else. He’d never, not once in all the time she’d been forced to live with him in Illyria, asked her what she liked to eat. Sure, he made food she liked, but it was never asked about beforehand. She just enjoyed his cooking. The dishes she preferred the most, somehow distinguished by him by how much she finished and if she took seconds, always returned whenever he had the time or was in a particularly good mood. 

Which, for Cassian, was almost all the time.

So when he’d asked her to decide the dinner for both of them, Nesta had known something was off. The mention about a non-Illyrian meal had tipped her off enough to know that they weren’t eating alone. But when asked outright, Cassian had lied to her face. She’d known he’d lied, she just hadn’t been able to glean the details out from him.

Not right away at least. And so, she’d played the one thing Cassian couldn’t resist and would always fall prey to.

Her.

Before they’d become what they were now, Nesta had fucked Cassian more times than she was ready to admit. While they never spoke of it head on in the very beginning of the arrangement, that wasn’t to say that she never took advantage of it. 

Like that time he lied about the dinner. Sensing that she wasn’t going to win without resorting to other methods, she’d walked over to where he’d been mixing something over the stove, grabbed his collar, and pulled. Kissing Cassian with every bit of steel and fire in her being, it had been rough and never ending. Smooth and yet so tumultuous. 

However, while she’d begun their little skirmish, Cassian had quickly gone into the running for victor and was headed for a solid win. Until Nesta had pulled away and asked what he was hiding from her. It didn’t work right away. Hazel eyes had narrowed accusingly at her and he’d stepped away from her, averting his gaze from the very sheer, very low-cut gown she’d just happened to find in her closet.

She hadn’t felt a shred of remorse after the fourth or maybe fifth time she’d captured his lips with her own that night, shamelessly pressing against him until finally, finally she’d had him admit that Feyre and Rhys were coming for dinner. 

Nesta had forgone the anger and instead decided to drag this game out a little while longer. Just as she’d wanted, Rhys and Feyre had ended up uninvited by Cassian, who’d hastily scrawled out a note to be magicked over to Rhys to not show up. All while Nesta had slowly ridden him and herself to release.

Not the fairest way to play, she’d admit that much, but it hadn’t failed her yet. Ever since then, perhaps wrong as it was, she’d used sex more often than not to get out of whatever she wasn’t keen on when Cassian presented them to her.

The issue had arisen when Cassian learned to use her own ways against her, just as he was doing now.

“What. Did. You. Do?,” he asked, dropping kisses down the column of her throat with each word.

Nesta murmured, "Nothing,” and desperately tried to mean the bitter lie that sat on her tongue.

But Cassian had been alive far longer than Nesta, and he learned well even if he didn’t learn right away. It didn’t take much more coaxing from him as the bastard used her own methods against her. She’d never admit that it was a mere minutes with his head between her legs that had Nesta admitting her transgressions that day and ones from months before, if only he’d please just let her come.

He did. Twice actually, but when Cassian’s lips left her skin, she felt the tremor in the air.

Cassian wasn’t pleased. 

Because Cassian didn’t ask for much when it came to Nesta. He didn’t ask for anything at all, if she really thought about it. He’d asked her to train when she’d first arrived to Illyria with him. She’d refused that nonsense without hesitation. No way in hell was she going to get into a ring in front of males who would sneer and leer at her until she left from either embarrassment or fear. Even if Cassian swore he’d be there the entire time. And when she in turn had asked to be trained only a few weeks later, he hadn’t lorded her initial refusal over her.

One time he’d asked her to stop throwing her “smutty fucking books” all around the house and to just put them in one place. Nesta had turned her nose up at his crass language and ignored the request. So within the day, Cassian had built her a bookshelf spanning an entire wall. She thought herself to have been a lovely assistant that day, as she’d only stared at the straining muscles through his tunic for the first two chapters of her book. A peck on the lips alongside a lovely threat to burn her books if she ever misplaced them again made sure Nesta did indeed listen to the request he’d made.

But that was Cassian. He accommodated her wishes more often than not and definitely more often than necessary. Some sort of overprotective instinct she was sure that came from watching female after female be abused and mistreated by the males around him. So he overcompensated when it came to Nesta. In return, he only asked her to be careful when it came to her powers.

His exact words were more like, “don’t burn my house down with that potion,” but she’d understood the message all the same.

More than that, he’d warned her away from blood magic a long time ago. Had even insinuated that this might be the one thing he’d never let her get away with because it really just was that dangerous. 

Nesta of course, witch in both power and mind, had gone ahead and done it anyways. He didn’t know why she’d done it though, all he knew was the “what”. And all Nesta knew was that she’d never known hazel could glow so eerily bright when their owner was as livid as Cassian looked.

She reached for his shirt, her own clothes having been discarded somewhere on the floor, never breaking his gaze save for when she pulled the material that scented of Cassian and peace over her head.

Cassian eyed the movement with wicked intent, the predatory stillness everywhere else in his body as taut as a pulled bowstring. She knew if he chose to fire, that particular volley of words may very well end her.

She hated his anger, hated it more so on herself than anything else. Because anger wasn’t new to Nesta just as accommodation and ease wasn’t new to Cassian. She was used to being angry with herself. Being so fed up with the creature that looked back at her from the mirror, infuriatingly refusing to better and aching to try harder all while still not making progress. That anger, that burning, seething rage was all she could manage sometimes with herself.

Cassian was never a source of that unbending wrath though. Not anymore. They’d already savaged each other to more than unacceptable boundaries. They’d cursed and screamed, ravaged and broken down until finally tears had flown freely on both sides. It had changed everything between them then, and ever since, Cassian simply did not lose his composure with Nesta. 

He’d seen her basest self, her true self, long before she’d joined this world of his. And that had terrified her from the beginning. Now she wondered if anyone was even capable of saving her from Cassian’s anger.

Because he wouldn’t yell or scream and he would never, ever put his hands on her. He wasn’t Tomas. Wasn’t any of the many shitty males she’d come across in her still young life. No, instead, Cassian would go silent most likely. He would keep his distance until he was better cooled off and only then would he seek her out to speak. Except, Nesta didn’t want distance. Not today. Not after she’d nearly died in her living room in a circle of her own blood and vomit. She didn’t think she could handle being away from Cassian any longer now, and definitely not after she hadn’t seen him for so long. 

Cassian shifted off the bed and the move was so fluid, so graceful, Nesta almost forgot that she didn’t want this to go where it was undoubtedly headed.

“Don’t leave me.”

It was the first words blurted out of her mouth before pride could have tamped it down and self-preservation could have chided her on not being so vulnerable. They certainly hadn’t been the ones she meant to say or wanted him to know.

I missed you. I was scared I’d never see you again. I thought you were hurt and I was desperate. I’m sorry I lied. Don’t go. Not after I haven’t seen you in so long. 

I wouldn’t be able to bear it.

Those were all the things she had wanted to say, but hadn’t. Instead, she’d all but begged for him to stay with her, not even considering that he had no interest in being around her anymore.

Cassian stared at her for what felt like eternity, and Nesta’s skin began to grow hot and too far stretched out under his cool gaze. Until he moved out of the room and closed the door behind him.

She’d never known disappointment would smell like the fading scent of embers and snow, and yet here it was. If only she had-

The door to the bedroom opened again and Cassian ambled in, too large for life and even this room and certainly too much for the book in his arms. She could haul its weight with two arms and labored breath. Illyrian training or not, it was heavy. And cumbersome. But Cassian lifted it with ease before propping it onto the nightstand beside her, his winged form hulking over her seated one with causal ease. 

“Show me which one you did.”

It wasn’t a goodbye. Not yet. He wasn’t leaving the room to sleep in the spare one down the hall. Which Nesta surmised to be okay enough for now. Not good, because she could still see an edge of hesitance in his face. Like a coiled spring ready to start admonishing her if she showed him something too dangerous in the pages of the witch book. So no, not good. But okay at the very least.

Nesta wordlessly found and pointed to the spell, the yellowing page under her finger almost glaring in warning at her to lie again.

 Cassian looked over the spell, his quick, weary eyes scanning over it with trepidation. Nesta made sure to look everywhere but him

She expected a furrowed brow and a winded explanation on what she had done. On the line she’d crossed, delving into dark magic that often had no way to return from.

Cassian instead shut the book and sat down beside her.

“Tracking?”

Nesta nodded curtly, still avoiding his eyes.

“What for? There’s nothing you’ve lost and certainly nothing important enough to get hurt like that for.”

You’re important enough for me to die for.

She didn’t tell him that either. Nesta chose instead to remain quiet until he dropped the subject. Likely impossible for Cassian to do but...

“Why?,” Cassian demanded abruptly after the silence stretched on for too long. “I already told you about blood magic. We had a deal Nes. You didn’t want to train your powers with anyone else. We agreed that if you went about it on your own you’d heed the boundaries.”

Shackles more like.

I don’t need your protection, she’d almost hissed at him. She was more than capable of looking out for herself. Had done so for far longer than she’d known him.

But Cassian hadn’t said it with malice. He hadn’t even said it with judgement. It was only worry creasing the space between his brows that she wanted to smooth out with her thumb. Maybe her lips.

“Was it bad?” 

Nesta nodded mutely, not wanting to explain the details of just how horrendously bad it had been. 

Horrifying. It had been terror inducing and she didn’t tell him that she’d never mess with the blood arts ever again. She’d learned her lesson.

A little softer then. “Are you hurt?”

Yes. So much. Everything’s aching.

“No.”

Cassian glared. “Did you always lie like this? I thought you used to be better.”

Nesta couldn’t hold in the scoff even if she wanted to. He was right. But he was also Cassian so it didn’t really matter just how accomplished a liar she may have been. He’d see right through her either way.

“Why do you care?,” she asked him abruptly. He wanted to question her choices? Choices she’d made for him and his safety. Well she could be infuriating too.

“Nesta I care because I thought you were dead. What the hell am I supposed to do if you get yourself killed doing some stupid-”

“Stupid!,” she screeched, outrage pouring into her unexpectedly. She pushed at his chest and off the bed. He was fast though, she’d give him that, not wasting a moment to catch up to her and haul her back by the wrist.

She hissed, contempt taking over every feeling of worry and longing she’d had towards him not moments ago. “Let go of me.”

���No,” he smirked, tightening his grip on her and pulling her close enough until they were chest to chest. “I think I’d rather know why you were doing something blatantly wrong after I specifically told you-”

“Oh fuck you, Cassian.” She tried to slam her hand against his chest to push off, but the bat was strong. “You don’t command me. I’m not one of your soldiers so think twice before you start giving me orders like one of them.”

“You promised,” he growled, and the sound shouldn’t have upset her as much as it did. Because underneath the anger, she saw the hurt lining his eyes.

He was right. She had promised him. When she’d first showed him the Grimoire’s spells and everything she wanted to try, Cassian had been hesitant. He’d tried to get her to work with someone else on her powers instead of alone and with a book they really didn’t know much about. Someone else being a petite, vicious female of the Night Court with whom Nesta had no interest in reconciling with just to learn some magic tricks. It had taken a far too drawn out conversation between them, with Cassian having Nesta promise not to delve into the darker side of witchcraft. At least not until she’d mastered the basics- which she hadn’t yet.

That meant no blood magic, no necromancy, and to Nesta’s complete disappointment, no hexing. She’d found a particularly cruel spell the same week she’d gotten the Grimoire and had wanted to test it out. Curiosity or perhaps vindictiveness fueled her, but she’d wanted to see how well the males who terrorized girls for fun would get on when they started growing blisters in sensitive regions on their body. But Cassian had said no and she’d agreed. In return, he wouldn’t bother her about how far her gifts were coming along or get anyone in his family involved with teaching her.

Nesta preferred that. 

To move at her own pace and progress steadily but surely with time and practice. Eventually, one fateful day, she’d surprised Cassian with his weapons cleaned, and polished for use before he’d gone out for training. All with her magic and all on her own. He’d kissed her ardently in thanks before bounding out the door. A child with shiny new toys for the day to play with. 

It hadn’t escaped Nesta’s notice that he’d kissed her outside of sleeping together and had toed an unspoken boundary about just how close they were. She also found, to her surprise, she didn’t mind it one bit.

But that didn’t matter in the current moment, because how dare he question her? When she’d done everything for him?

“Let me go,” she repeated. Snarled more like, but he wasn’t getting the message clear enough. The grip on her wrist didn’t hurt- Cassian would never do that. But it was irritating her, so it would have to go. Maybe she could twist out of the hold like he’d taught her to do last week. Tense her core, rear back and twist-

“I’ll let you go if you tell me what you did it for.” 

The question lapsed her out of her plans at getting away, but it didn’t matter. She wasn’t going to give him anything to go on, even if he screamed his throat raw in asking her.

“Nesta,” he ground out, teeth gnashing in frustration. A twisted part of her was glad she wasn’t the only one experiencing a tenfold increase in her anger.

“If you tell me, I’ll forget about it. Just tell me why you did that stupid fucking spell and I’ll-”

Nesta’s spine went ramrod straight as her temper frayed. The sheer arrogance that he had sometimes.

Nesta snapped back this time. “That “stupid fucking spell” was for me. Because I was worried. Because you promised too. You said you’d be back within the week. And I, like an idiot, waited and believed you.” Cassian’s hold on her had loosened and Nesta shoved him away, panting at the exertion.

“You didn’t come back after a week. You didn’t even come back the day after. I waited a whole three days, going out of my mind, thinking you were dead. You were worried when you came home because you smelled a little blood? Thought I was dead? Good. Then you’ll know an inkling of how I felt these past three days without you.”

Cassian’s eyes widened in some emotion she couldn’t place. Perhaps surprise, perhaps shame, but she didn’t care either way. Not when she was too unbound now to stop.

“I thought maybe you were dead. Maybe you were being tortured. I thought your wings may have been ripped out or maybe you were so injured you couldn’t travel. I thought of every scenario possible and then I decided to do what I thought was best for your safety. Do not preach to me about my decisions and my promises. You promised you’d come back to me, and you failed to follow through. We are both guilty.”

She was a mess now. Tears that she hadn’t allowed to fall for far too many days. Everything that had happened not even hours ago suddenly coming to a head. It was miserable and aching as the sobs kept coming and wouldn’t stop. A floodgate let open that had been dammed close for far too long.

Somewhere in between her choking sobs and complete calm, Cassian had gathered her up and taken them both back to the bed. She didn’t remember it, nor whatever he’d said and done to get her to stop crying and shaking so horribly. But eventually, Nesta did stop crying. She stopped shaking too, and found that encased in Cassian’s arms, his wings cocooning her close to him, she could finally breathe.

“I didn’t know...,” Cassian started to say, but stopped himself. “It wasn’t-”

A sigh escaped him and tickled her forehead as it caressed her in apology. 

“I tried to send out messages but we were in a hostile area so I couldn’t risk it.  I figured you would be fine and just check on me another way. I’m sorry.” The apology was followed by a brush of his lips on her forehead, her cheeks, her lips. She accepted them greedily, never wanting them to stop.

“What other way would I have checked?,” she asked perplexed. She wasn’t trying to accuse him, but damn the bat, how the hell else was she going to do to find him.

Cassian shifted uncomfortably underneath her, his wings twitching around her.

“Cassian?,” she prompted lightly. 

“You could have...I mean, well, you could...the bond.”

Shit, there it was. That thing she never wanted to address. And now she’d all but welcomed the conversation into happening.

It must have been stupidity on her part for even allowing it to go further. But Nesta didn’t like how cautious Cassian looked around her. As if expecting her to lash out and run just like she wanted to do. So instead she asked him how- how she could do it- strangely excited to hear the answer.

“I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like a string I guess. You can think of it that way at least. So you need to reach-”

“How do you know this?,” she interrupted him, already knowing the answer.

Cassian’s eyes breaking her stare was enough of a reply. She’d felt it in Velaris, when he’d pulled on the bond during her late nights in taverns, or when she’d been with a male in her bed. He’d been checking up on her for so long. Checking to make sure she was still alive and safe. Healthy was out of the question with the wretch she’d become, but still...

He was the only one who’d bothered to see at all, even if it was discreet and she had ignored him each time.

“I tried when I was on the mission too but I think we were too far away for it to work,” he explained carefully.

Nesta thought about it for a moment. “So distance affects it. What about now?”

“What about now?,” Cassian looked confused for a moment before understanding took over. 

“Yes,” he finally said. “It will work if you try it right now.”

If Nesta had been told almost a year ago, that she would be the one to start exploring the bond between her and Cassian on her own, she would have reeled in shock and anger. Would have been mortified by it. But now, looking at Cassian, seeing the trust and vulnerability there, Nesta knew it was okay.

This was safe. Cassian was and would always be safe for her.

it didn’t take long for her to find that small part of her in her chest that beat to a different rhythm altogether. A piece that sang every time she held Cassian’s hand. A piece that trumpeted during the endings of a grand symphony each time they joined and held each other close.

The mating bond was a song. Its tether binding them together was like the string of a harp that she only needed to pluck once to see what lay at the other end. 

Nesta breathed in once. Twice. And pulled.

Cassian gasped slightly, leaning forward until their foreheads touched. It was instinct that had Nesta’s hands moving to rest on his heart, where the end of the tether she’d pulled on seemed to end.

“Do you feel me?,” she whispered.

“I do.”

Nesta took a steady breath before asking her next question.

“Is that okay?,” she asked, fearful of what he might say. What he might grant or revoke with her heart that she’d just placed so preciously into his hands

But there was nothing to fret over. Not as Cassian smiled and reassured her fears away. 

“More than okay sweetheart. It’s perfect.”

Yes. She would have to agree.

Perfect was the only thing she saw at the other end of their mating bond.

Tag List: @bookstantrash @duskandstarlight  @greerlunna @queenestarcheron @queenofbloodshed @cassianscool @sjm-things @perseusannabeth  @courtofjurdan @vasudharaghavan @sayosdreams @moe8  @arielle-reads @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @nahthanks @oversizedbats @swankii-art-teacher @inardour @rowaelinismyotp @starryblueskies7 @nestaarcher0n @vidalinav @nessiantrashh

[mxvladdy]

I can't stress enough 'wows' in tve way you write along with the fact that it's you first few posts (i think? Pls correct me) can you do luci mammon and satan with a reader who takes naps bc of overthinking? They just tug their sleeves and shot them a tired look, while looking down shying away. Also, have a nice day and take the time to be yourself!

Aw thanks fam! I am fairly new to posting my works, I tried twice before this with two different writing blogs but I deleted them both bc I felt discouraged. I’m older now and I feel a lot better about my writing, so third time the charm and all that lol! I’m so glad you like my writing! I know I need some work on grammar and expanding my vocabulary.  

This was a super cute prompt ;.; I hope I did it justice!

Lucifer

He is a mix of jealous and pissed. He wishes he could fall asleep so easily when he gets inundated with too many things at once. But also- just don’t do that? Where were your manners?

He starts noticing your little peculiarity in class. Specifically that you tend to nod off in advance alchemy and rune scripting. You were being so studious, jotting down notes, ask great questions. Next thing he knows you're out like a light.

He is shocked for a moment before he will wake you up. Your wide doe-eyed frown does nothing to him. JK his hearts clench at your wounded look.

He makes the other brothers report to him about your behavior and odd sleep habit. Were you ill? Was this just something humans did? Devils, was Belphie rubbing off on you?

They all say the same thing. One moment you are working hard or talking to them about a topic you are passionate about, and the next you are yawning hard enough to pop your jaw and shyly asking to lay down.

Well-he can’t have that.

If you are going to fall asleep around anyone it’s going to be him.

He sets up remedial lessons with you after dinner to make up for the work slept through. You sit by him at his long ornate desk while he tutors you on what you missed.

You weren't having any problems,  you even finished a few pages. He is proud and then-

“I can almost hear those gears slowing my dear.” Lucifer interrupts himself mid-explanation of Zosimos of Panopolis and Maria the Prophetess's theories of alchemy in human medicine.

You jerk awake and turn to him blinking owlishly. "Yeah, I just need to lay down." You admit.

Lucifer eyes you critically. This was sudden, were you ill? You had been fine moments ago, bright-eyed and enthusiastic. He cups your face, turning it from side to side. "So suddenly? We haven't even discussed the properties of mercury yet." You hum letting your eyes droop. He was always so warm.

"Hour nap break? Please?" His stern gaze softens at how your nose scrunches up cutely as you yawn.

“Very well.” He relents letting you slick over to his couch. You flop over face first with a grunt of satisfaction. You toss and turn for a while, moving his pillows around unsatisfied.

“Luci-” You call in defeat. He ignores you at first. If you wanted to nap fine, he would get some work done in the meantime. “Luci~” You say again. You could see his brow twitching. “Lu-”

“My dear,” He shoots you a withering look. “You are treading a thin line. If you have the energy to call for me you have the energy to study.” You say nothing at his brisk tone, instead of opening your arms to him to join you. “You tempt me.” He purrs hiding his smile behind his paperwork.

“Learned from the best.” Lucifer shakes his head laughing at your smug reply. He glances over you to his grandfather clock. Hmmm-perhaps he could spare a few minutes. He rises elegantly discarding his tie and waistcoat to his abandoned chair. Running a hand through his hair he snorts at your little whistle.

“Move.” He commands. You shake your head patting your belly. “I will crush you.” He laughs but lays over you regardless.

“Good-you’re warm.” You say muffled in his shirt. Wrapping your arms around his middle you drift off. Lucifer holds you close, running a still gloved hand up and down your side. Perhaps he should bring out some more complex topics next time. If this was the outcome-

Mammon

He noticed you get drowsy before in class. Your cute little head jerks as you nod off, hands rubbing at your face as you fight to stay awake before giving in to the need to sleep. It was adorable- not that he was watching you because of that! He was just doing his job of looking out for you

Ye-that was all.

Honestly, he thought you were just like him. He never cared for the books being forced on him in class. Boring useless crap in his opinion. He much rather sleep through a lecture on stats too.

Now books on photography? That's where it's at. He has a legitimate passion for it.

He likes being behind the camera just as much as he likes being in front of it. Though he doesn't snap photos often.

He doesn't need more beratement from his brothers than he already gets. Sides, he just feels like they would look down at this like everything else he does.

He'll share his hobby with you though. You at least seem interested in it. He'll show you his collection of vintage to high-tech cameras and talk your ear off about the makes, models, and features.

You nod along and ask questions from time to time, smiling along with Mammon while he prattles on about color theory next to you on the floor.

He was just getting to Auguste Lumiére when he feels a gentle bump on his shoulder.

"O-oi!" Mammon starts, shaking his shoulder to rouse you. You look up at him, blinking the sleep from your eyes. "Was...was I that boring?" He deflates a little, all previous excitement gone in a flash. You had seemed so interested...

"What? Oh, no. No Mammon I'm sorry. It's really all fascinating," You grab for his sleeve so he couldn't run away. "It was just a lot of information all at once. I just got a bit overwhelmed."

"So you fall asleep?" He raises a brow not believing you for a second. Who falls asleep when something is interesting? He'll admit he's fallen asleep while listening to Levi talk about a new anime or Asmo with a make-up release.  But that's because it had been boring. "Is that like a human thing?"

You shrug snuggling closer. "I don't know- but it's a me thing. Give me five? I'd love to hear you talk more about your collection, promise."

Mammon glows scarlet at your words. "Of course you do!" He puffs out his chest excitedly. “I got great taste.” You nod into his shirt before drifting off again. He tilts his head slightly to look at you chuckling internally when your breathing and heartbeat slow down. Damn, out in seconds. Well, better get comfortable.

Uncrossing his long legs he picks up the camera he had been showing you. The old Polaroid lens reflects his face back at him. He remembered the day Land had debuted this marvel of engineering. He just had had to get his hands on one. It was useless now, he had much better quality cameras than this old thing, but he remembered you reminiscing about your human friends and their portable camera. Would you take some pictures with him too? He would take one now, but the sound of the flash would definitely wake you up.

He fiddles with it for a few more minutes, opening and closing the film canister and checking for any parts that needed fixing as he waits. You stir at his side a few minutes later with a little mew of satisfaction. Mammon hears your joints creak and pop as you stretch. "Morning." He says sarcastically, earning himself a light punch to his shoulder. "Ready to continue?"

You nod eagerly, perky and aware. At least for the moment.

Satan

He didn't really notice at first the pattern of your behavior.

You would come over for book club. Which was really just him reading his current novel and you picking something at random to gain a little random knowledge.

You would find a comfortable position on his bed, curl up nice and small and read. Then after a bit yawn and start to snooze.

He first thought it was the atmosphere of his room. It was quiet, warm, and the sound of flickering candles and the rustle of paper sometimes caused him to doze too.

But when it starts happening outside of class he notices.

Hmmm….this is new.

He looks it up in his human anatomy books and finds nothing.

He's not particularly worried about you per se. You always bounce back quickly after a quick snooze.

Then you start dozing when he is talking… >:(

Like his brother/dad he is a little miffed at first but then your behavior reminds him a cat and he loves you 10x harder now

Satan stops in his pacing of the back gardens. His book of poetry hanging limply in his hand. He had been reciting some of the most fascinating lines of work from Lord Byron's later works and wanted a human's perspective. He had thought you were interested. You never complained before when he asked you out here. Perhaps you were just being polite all those times before. Anything to soothe wrath. He snaps his book shut sharply, take some perverse satisfaction in the way you start out of your light sleep at the noise.

"Why'd you stop?" You ask wiping at your face.

"No point talking to someone that doesn't wish to listen." He snaps tersely.

"Oh-Satan, no I was listening. It...it just got to be so much so fast." You flush. “You had some great points going, I just needed a minute.” He watches your eyes grow heavy again, and it dawns on him.

"Do you just sleep when overwhelmed?" He asks incredulously. In all his years with humans, this was new. You shrug making grabby hands for him to move closer. He scoffs but moves into your space. You grab at the hem of his shirt and pull him down to sit next to you. He goes willingly getting comfortable by your side. You eye his lap longingly, hands clutching around his coat sleeve. “Fine-” He rolls his eyes. “Come here you odd thing.” You smile in triumph and crawl into his lap. Once settled you nuzzle into his warm chest.

“Wake me up in ten? I want to hear more about your conversations with Byron.”

“I’ll hold you to it.” He kisses the top of your forehead, opening his book to read again with one hand. You hum at his soft kiss, returning it sleepily with one of your own before passing out again. Ten minutes go by in an instant and Satan looks down at your peaceful face. He smiles to himself, perhaps he’ll let you sleep for a little while longer. You’d need it for his next point.  

[guessimjoiningthespidermanfandom]

Roses of Melrose

Peter Parker x bisexual!reader 

Peter Parker x fem!reader

Peter Parker x black!reader 

Peter Parker x villain!reader 

Warnings: Language, murder, death, mentions of gangs, gun violence, mercenaries, physical abuse, verbal abuse, parental neglect, drug use, underage drinking, mentions of knives, brief mentions of sex, blood, piercings. 

Word Count:  8.4k

Songs: Ultralight beam-Kanye, I love Kanye- Kanye, Good Kid-Kendrick Lamar, Sing about me I’m dying of thirst- Kendrick Lamar, Violent Crimes- Kanye, Apparently- J.Cole, Black Wave- K.Flay, Pretty Little Birds- SZA, Wouldn’t it be Nice- The Beach Boys. 

“  It was the way I fought back. It was my first ‘fuck you’ to everyone to everything. It was my best friend. It was my first love. So to you I’m just another girl with another basic rose tattoo but to me. To me? It’s the way I remember it’s the way I keep my friend with me. It’s the way I’d make sure I couldn’t forget the unforgettable”

A/N: Sorry it took so long to finish this school and home got in the way. Sorry If the grammar is off there was only one proof read. Hopefully you enjoy it. Sorry that there’s less Peter in this one. It’s more character building. 

Series Masterlist   Previous Part    Next Part 

I had my suspicions about Peter being Spiderman, I mean it was kinda obvious he’s always leaving decathlon meetings according to MJ. They both have the same annoying ass optimism. No one is just that sure of anything. Like ever. Thanks to Liz I’d finally know. 

I entered the house having to maneuver past a couple of people standing in the hall past the front door. This party was tame compared to others I’d been to. Flash was DJ-ing he’s so annoying. Liz was cool though she was nice. 

I found MJ standing in the kitchen opening a pack of bread holding a jar of peanut butter. When I walked over and said 

“Only you would come to a party to just eat bread.”

She only replied with a short “Whatever loser,” 

“Hey, Peter Parker. Where’s your friend Spiderman?” Flash announced on the mic.

“Lemme guess with your imaginary girlfriend?”

Peter just stood there stunned 

“That’s not Spiderman that’s just Ned in a red shirt,” Okay that one would’ve been kinda funny if he didn’t add that annoying horn sound.  

“Shut the fuck up!” I said before smiling at Peter and walking off. I didn't do it for him, necessarily Flash was just annoying. Like I’ve never understood how someone with the grandpa name Eugene could talk so much shit. 

 I was making small talk with some random senior boy when I heard a high pitched squeal and excused myself to the bathroom. The sound only got louder and louder and louder. It was so painful it felt like Athena should’ve split my forehead and climbed her way out. My vision blurring together made me not able to grab onto anything as I lost balance. I wasn't going to cry, 

I wasn't. I couldn’t crying’s pathetic I wasn't going to cry. I could push through the pain. I’ve done it before, that's what I always do. Just when it got so intense I was sure I was gonna pass out it stopped. I did not pass out however I did throw up into the toilet. I looked in the mirror after washing my face off and for a second I could’ve sworn my eyes were glowing. Great now I’m going into a psychotic break why would my eyes be glowing. 

I just need some fresh air. Yeah that’s all. I sat there for a while letting my mind wander until I heard MJ’s voice from behind me. 

“So this is where you were? I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” She said as she sat down next to me. When I didn’t respond she turned facing me waving her hands my face 

“You good?” 

I looked up from picking at the grass. 

“I’m just tired MJ,” I mean I have every right to be tired there’s a whole fucking gang war going down where I live. Which makes no fucking sense why are people fighting over streets that no one actually owns. The weapons Vulture is selling make me good money, but they’re getting way too close to where my friends lived. I was snapped out of diving into all my problems by a purple cloud in the distance. Hearing the distant squeal slash siren hybrid. I felt my eyes widen. 

“What was that?” MJ asked. 

Fucking Vulture 

ARE YOU KIDDING ME. I told him to stay out of my neighborhood and he came to my friends. 

“I don’t know,” I said “Let’s just go back inside,”

As we were walking back to the backdoors I took one glance behind me, and there he was Spiderman heading towards the cloud

“Hey,” I called out walking closer to Ned, “Ned!”

He turned around 

“Who me?” He pointed to himself. 

“I mean I don’t see any other Neds around were,” I joked

“Oh, it’s you just usually don’t talk to me,” He pointed out. 

“Yeah sorry about that,” I said “Actually where’s Peter? I can’t seem to find him,” 

“Oh he uh,” he scratched the back of his neck “He had to go,” 

“Aw, how unfortunate,” I patted his shoulder “Well enjoy the party I have to go too,” So Ned knew Peter was Spiderman. 

“Can I get a ride?” I asked MJ to which she just said 

“You don’t have to ask,”

 “Just drop me off at the corner store by my house,”

It never felt awkward around MJ. Normally I had to be on high alert around everyone, but it’s never like that with her. This isn't an “honor” many people have but she’s one of the few I feel comfortable falling asleep around. I knew being in the car would make me feel sick so I drifted off. 

Shutting the door to the car we said our goodbyes and I headed into the gas station when Mr. William greeted me. I felt a warm feeling in my body. It was nice but short lived and replaced by an emptiness that humans like to call nostalgia. I missed feeling “home” I still lived here. I don’t know why It seems like I don't. I guess it was the fact I’d been giving more attention to Queens and Thorn lately. I know it’s not the projects anymore which I am immensely grateful for but it’s the same neighborhood. According to Briana, one of the like 3 friends I managed to keep I “never come around anymore” or “I’m too good for them”. 

I made my way to the bathroom and located the tile I kept my burner phone in. I used to keep it in a shoe box at home until my sister started going through the phase where she feels the need to borrow all my clothes. Stomping on the edge of the tile it flipped up and I grabbed the phone and shoved it in the pocket of my hoodie. 

Getting a soda and some gummy worms before I left. I started to walk back to my apartment complex. I went up to sit on the roof of the building just eating my gummies looking. That was something I did a lot just look. When I was younger I couldn’t stand being alone in my own head, but the older I got the more I began to understand why old people would just sit out on their porch doing nothing but looking. 

When I checked my phone it was 12:47 and I decided it was time to go back in. First I sent out a message on the burner phone to what I hope to God was the right number. 

I headed back down to my room and spent the whole night tossing and turning. When I put on a podcast I slept much easier. I found that the environment I grew up in bred me to not be able to sleep probably without some sort of noise even if it’s just arguing. 

I woke up with my phone on my face and my bonnet halfway across the continent. I checked my phone fully expecting to be late but by some blessing I had at least two hours to get ready before I had to leave. The house was quiet like eerily quiet no TV on or anything. I went to wake up the drama queen, middle child, Aaliyah. When I say drama queen I mean both acting and just straight up being dramatic. And then there’s Sapphire who’s the physical embodiment of a Gemini. I flicked on the lights, revealing toys scattered all over Sapphire‘s side of the room. The only response I got was from Aaliyah who simply whined and pulled her blanket over her head. I picked up a pair of rolled up socks and tossed them at her to which she loudly exclaimed 

“Ow!” 

See what I mean by dramatic but thankfully for me, she woke up Sapphire meaning I didn’t have to step on sharp plastic trying to navigate her side. Not that I could judge her though I can’t remember the last time I had the motivation to clean my room. 

I was fully expecting my dad to be passed out on the couch when I walked into the living room but he wasn’t. He wasn’t in his room either. This was nothing out of the ordinary though, he’d probably be back tonight or tomorrow.

One of the perks of my dad being gone was I could use the bathroom in his room to shower and take as long as I want. Another perk of dad not being here is I can take his car today instead of my skateboard. My sisters don't go to a local school but it’s still way closer to our home then Midtown so they don’t have to go so far away. I,on the other hand, have to skate to the bus stop, get on the metro then get on a subway and skate the rest of the way to school. 

“Y’all wanna get something to eat?” I asked my sisters once we were in the car. 

“Wendys!” Sapphire interjected from the backseat 

“No one wants to eat Wendys,” Aaliyah turned around from the passenger to face her. “Get McDonald’s” she demanded, turning back to face me. 

“Oh so you don’t want Wendys but you can eat the plastic from McDonald's,” Sapphire asked accusingly. 

“Wendy's tastes like shit,” 

“You taste like shit,” 

“That doesn’t even make any sense!”

I just giggled at the fact this is what they decided to argue about. 

“I’m just gonna get somethin’ from Mr. Washington, Since it’s the closest thing to us” was all I said before turning the radio up. 

I pulled into the parking lot. Looking at the buildings that look like they should be dead. With their bulletproof windows with anti robbery bars. It’s honestly depressing if you think about it for too long. But these places are nothing but living and bustling no matter what. Like the roses in the cracks of the sidewalk. I left the keys in the ignition once my sister confirmed they weren’t coming inside. 

“Hey Y/N,” Mr.Washington’s son said from the kitchen. I believe he’s 18 now?

“Hey,” I nodded my head at him walking towards his father to order. 

“Hey, Y/N how are you doing?”

“I’m good how are you?” 

“I’m good thanks for asking, you know you look more and more like your mom everyday,” he pointed out and I just smiled. “She was a great kid,” 

“Yeah…” I trailed off. 

“So the usual?” he asked and I nodded. 

I don’t know how but he remembered everyone’s usual orders and knows everyone’s names. 

Quick rule of thumb the best food comes in brown paper bags.

Once I was back in the car I had to make the conscious effort not to speed. MJ never goes anywhere when I drive because I “drive like I have nothing to live for” which personally I just think she’s dramatic. 

Honestly my sisters are so lucky they go to a local school. I mean yeah the education at Midtown is better than the local highschool, but it’s not like I even belong there. So basically I commute almost 40 minutes everyday to a school I’m not smart enough to go to.  

By the time lunch came around I had a terrible headache the smell of my food made me vomit. And no I’m not being dramatic I really had to stop by the bathroom and throw up. 

Now I didn’t really feel like walking all the way over to sit at my usual table so I just sat with the school stoners. Yes cliques are real and if this were a movie I’d be one of those clique surfers. Pretty much everyone is a clique surfer if we’re being honest. 

I don’t know why they get such a bad wrap stoners have got to be some of the nicest people I’ve ever met. Like this one girl Jessica she gave me one of my first tattoos for free in freshman year when I met her. Since she noticed that I looked stressed, she offered to let me hit her cart. I didn’t even have to ask her 

Oh my god I’ll marry you were my exact thoughts at that moment. That I’d apparently voiced out loud because she responded with. 

“I’m down. When’s the wedding?” 

Her and two guys who were sitting at the table with us made their way to the boys bathroom with me. 

 After about 3 hits I could feel the life returning to my body as if the rain finally stopped crashing down and the rainbow entered the sky. I could've sworn I heard God say “I’ll never flood the earth again” 

“Do you think I’d look good with a nostril piercing?” I asked while examining my nose in the mirror. 

“Are you kidding me? You’d look hot as fuck,” Jessica added in. 

“You should pierce her nose, J” the guy who was standing closest to the door said. Zach I think. 

“Yeah I could do that, do you want me to?” She asked. 

I pondered it for a second before the boy who already looked off of cloud nine Tyler I believe his name was interjected with 

“She’s really good at it, she did my girlfriends,” 

You know what? Fuck it 

“Why the hell not,” I said

“Alright,” she said after clapping her hands and walking over to her backpack on the floor. She pulled out a lighter and an earring. She lit the earring to disinfect and I hopped up on the sink and she moved towards the right side of my body. Just as she was asking me where exactly I wanted it we all jumped at the sound of the door creaking open. 

Low and behold Peter Parker of all people walked in. 

“Uh I was just gonna...yeah,” He stammered out still standing by the door. He was still just staring at me. Now I’m not sure if it was because I was a girl in the boys bathroom, if I looked high, or if it was the fact I was about to pierce my nose in a dirty school bathroom but he was starting to make me feel awkward. 

“Can I help you?” I asked. 

“Oh,” he said as a blush raised up his cheeks “I’m just gonna,” he pointed to one of the stalls before scurrying into it. 

Jessica simply chuckled and called him cute.

By the time he came back out to wash his hands the earring was already pushed into my nostril with a slight pinch. Jessica told me that I’d have to clean the piercing everyday for a couple weeks, which is something I could manage. I hopped down the sink and asked 

“Do I look okay?” Referring to my eyes

“Yeah and me?” Jessica asked

“Yeah you’re good,” I reassured her. That was the last thing she needed to hear before her and the other two guys left the bathroom. 

As Peter was washing his hands I turned back around to look at my nose in the mirror. It was still a little red with irritation. It was also slightly sore to the touch. I was shaken out of my thoughts by Peter’s voice. 

“Did that hurt?” He asked. 

He was so adorable. 

“This?” I pointed to my nose and he nodded. 

“No not really,” I said grabbing my bag off the floor. 

“Well this very short convo has been a blast but I gotta go,” 

Okay so, I hadn’t been to the class in like forever because of the sheer fear of what would happen cause I skipped it so much. However, my fear of having to confront Olivia is stronger and she was coming towards me so, I ran in through the door. Ugh I’m such a pussy. I saw her walk out of my view. I was gonna turn back out and leave but ,unfortunately I had already locked eyes with the teacher. Looking around at all the students staring at me I just looked back at the teacher. 

“Y/N! So nice of you to finally join us,” Ms Warren just had to announce. I simply choose to give a curt nod before she said 

“We’re doing a partnered assignment, you can sit by Peter,” She said while pointing near the back of the classroom.  

I made my way to the back of the class and slumped into the seat. 

“Hey,” I said putting my legs on the empty desk in front of me. 

“Hey, didn’t know you were in this class,” Peter pointed out. 

“I mean I don’t think I’ve been here since the second week of school? Yeah I’m not sure. So from the beginning of sophomore year to now would be like maybe 1…2...3. No 2, yeah 2.” I went on before realizing I was rambling “Sorry I’m talking too much I’m like tiniest bit faded right now, and okay let me shut up,” 

“No, no you’re fine. I like hearing you talk” 

“I’ll be right back,” I whispered before raising my hand. 

“Yes Y/N?” Ms Warren asked. 

“Can I go to the bathroom?” 

She sighed “Uh, Yes I guess that’s fine just don’t take to long,” 

I grabbed the pass and started down the hallway. I was never planning to go to the bathroom. In all honesty I was going to the freshmans’ lunch cause I’d gotten hungry. I was in the line to get snacks when I felt a buzz in my pocket. I knew it was the burner phone so I got my chips and went outside to the area of the school with no cameras. Looking around to make sure no one was looking. I opened the text. Which read 

this T?- B 

yes, do you still have it?- T I responded 

I do- B 

ok meet at usual X and Place- T 

ok- B

I’d confirmed my brother could pick up my sisters from daycare. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about them at home when I was doing what I needed to do. 

I was trying to keep a low profile. I don't need anyone to claim they saw Thorn tonight. Since I’ve been on the radar of the police more often lately. No one would be looking in an abandoned train cart anyways. I‘d be fine. I just went with a black hoodie and a bandana to cover my face. 

But of course Black Cat was in her suit because when was she ever not. 

“You sure this is it?” I asked 

“Yes I’m sure,” she said and placed the flash drive in my hand. I stuffed it in the pocket of my hoodie. 

“Don’t forget what we talked about,” she said pointedly. 

“Yeah, yeah I’ve got you,” 

Great now I have to get into the government protected flash drive and clear her name. Just as I was about to turn to leave. The sound of someone sliding open the doors to one of the carts. 

“Were you followed?” she whispered

“No of course not,” I rolled my eyes 

I only had one weapon on me but I knew that Black Cat could handle whoever it was. Although just because she could do this on her own doesn’t mean I was gonna help. I had one expandable baton. Waiting for whoever was here to come in. I got my baton knocked out of my hand. 

The fight that broke out wasn’t really a fight if you could even call it that, it was just like 3 guys trying to get the flash drive and us knocking them out. I did however get my fair share of bruises but that’s only because I was thrown into the wall once. I did have a pretty deep gash on my forehead but I should be able to cover it with a headband.  

I almost gave myself a heart attack when I checked my sisters’ room because I forgot they were at our brothers house. My dad also still wasn’t home so I was just sitting home alone on the living room floor watching ‘Nick at Night’ with a caked up bloody forehead eating cold leftover spaghetti. 

I knew my dad had come home because I heard the keys turning in the door but I was too tired to move. 

I should’ve moved. 

By the way the door was slammed shut I could tell he was in a bad mood. And what’d he do when he was in a bad mood? Take it out on me. 

I don’t remember what happened. I just know he said I looked like a whore and I probably got heated and blacked out, but I do know I was in immense pain and my nose was bleeding and the police were on their way. 

Only two things could come from my dad calling the police: I get sent back to the Psych ward or I get arrested. I wasn’t about to stick around to find out which one was going down. 

I grabbed my skateboard and took off. Technically he did kick me out so he couldn’t say I ran away. 

I can’t exactly recall how I remember where he lived seeing as I hadn’t been there since his girlfriend died. 

I was going to knock but I knew he never actually opens the door. I went around to the back and started banging on the window and I’m sure looking at this from an outsider's view it must’ve looked like I was breaking in. Which I’m not sure that I wasn’t. I could see his shadow. 

“Open the fucking door, Wade!” I yelled from the door I could see his light was on. 

He sleepily strutted down to the door and slid it open. 

“What do you- Oh my god you look terrible,” He stated. 

“Oh really? Thanks, I didn’t notice,” I spat back pushing past him. 

I popped down on the couch. 

“I need somewhere to stay for a minute” I said once I was settled in. 

He moved over to me and grabbed my face but I pushed his hands away. 

“I’m fine,” I lied “Can I stay here though?” 

“Did you really think I’d ever say no?”

He examined my face again 

“Did your dad do this?” He asked. 

He took my silence for the answer that it was. 

“Do you want me to kill him?” He asked as what I thought was supposed to be a joke but I was scared to answer yes cause I knew there was a chance he actually would.

He was never very fond of my dad from the moment he’d met my mom. Wade was always trying to keep my mom away from him.

If only she’d listened. 

“Yes, I was joking and go clean your face before you get infected” 

Oh well I guess I voiced that thought out loud. 

I promise I was just looking for the first-aid kit but who was I to say no to a 6 ounce bottle of Hennessy. It was almost as if it’s eyes bore into my soul calling after me because it knew I was too weak to resist. 

The sweet burning sensation of it going down my throat was relieving and fun at first until I realized I was turning into my dad. Then it wasn’t so appealing anymore it was just depressing. 

The last thing on earth that I’d want would be anything like him. It was pathetic. 

It was pathetic how I had to throw up because apparently I couldn’t handle my alcohol.

It was pathetic how I couldn’t even bring myself to stand in the shower. 

It was pathetic how I couldn��t even hide the fact I was drunk. 

It was pathetic how I broke down crying in front of Wade. 

It was pathetic how he had to lull me to sleep by stroking my hair. 

It was pathetic because I knew he wasn’t mad.

It was pathetic because it wasn’t anger it was pathetic because it was pity. 

Pity. I hated pity with my entire chest. She always seemed to just hold you down underneath the water knowing you couldn’t breath but the feeling around you made you believe you were floating. It’s like the feeling of drowning in the open sea but it isn’t painful but still you know you’re gonna die but you can’t help but look at how beautiful everything around you is. All the fish, the seaweed, the sunlight shining through the water. But still you’re drowning and you know you’re gonna die so how beautiful can it really be?

Pity. That’s what I saw in the hallways so I knew I must’ve looked terrible because no one bothered to say anything negative about me. Everytime anyone looked at me it was like they knew. They knew. They knew that I had a shitty life and a fucked up family. Of course they didn’t but I couldn’t help the nagging feeling that everyone knew. 

Everyone was looking at me with a glint of pity in their eyes because I knew I looked like I was going to pass out at any moment now, I had bruises everywhere, I had no makeup to cover them up, possibly had a broken rib, and the gash on my forehead was probably still visible under the sweatband.  

Literally everyone looked like they felt bad for me. Except Flash. I never thought I’d say this but, thank God for Flash. The only sense of normalcy I’d experienced all day, was him calling me a witch then acting like it was the funniest thing ever and walking off after I told him to go fuck himself. One thing about Flash is he’s unoriginal. He'll find one “good” joke and use it for the rest of his life. The fact I could put out a lit match in my mouth spread around through a tiktok at some point, and he’s been calling me a witch ever since. I’m assuming the fact I had a pretty gothic style freshman year probably played a part in it too. Major small dick energy right there. 

I was on the verge of passing out and all I really wanted was to go out and get high with my old friends but I can never get what I want. Can I? The universe must really fucking hate me.

I just went to the nurses office and slept all throughout lunch but when I woke it was like I was even more tired than before. 

I wonder if this is what zombies feel like. I couldn’t tell if it was getting bad again or if I was just getting sick because the lines were blurred between a depressive episode and a cold or the flu. However my eyes were watery and my nose was stuffed so hopefully it was the latter. 

The odds had finally aligned in my favor and the class I’d skipped like all year teacher was out. We had my favorite sub who was really just the ISS teacher. Normally I would’ve sat by him and caught him up on all the chisme I had but I felt terrible. So I just leaned on the closest person to me instinctively. Once my brain caught up to my body and I realized. I was laying on Peter's shoulder. I shot it and immediately apologized. 

“Oh no, you’re fine I don’t mind,” he said. 

Well okay then. I think I slept at least 10 minutes in every single class today. Which is good I’d need it cause I forgot I promised my brother I’d babysit today. 

After I sent Wade a text that I probably wouldn’t be back in his house for a while. I went to my brother's house. Sometimes I’m jealous of him for getting to escape our dad and live in an actual nice area.  He literally has a house. Like he has his own property, no landlords or anything.  Pros of him having a different mom I guess. However he needs to stop having kids. Like yes I love my niece and my nephews however they can be the biggest pain in the ass. 

“I get off at like 11, so make sure they don’t break anything or die thanks, and you know where everything’s at, so,” He said, giving me a hug before walking towards the door but right before he opened it he turned around with a smile on his face. 

“Oh and don’t get my kids high,” 

I rolled my eyes trying to keep the edges of my mouth from turning into a smile. I lost that battle. 

“Yeah, yeah whatever asshole,” I flipped him off. 

I went into the room where the youngest child was sleeping. Taylon, he was about 1 I believe. At least I wouldn’t have to worry about him for a while. I made it back to the front room where the two trouble makers Kaitlyn and Jason. Kaitlyns the oldest at 4 years old and Jason at 2. Although I don’t think Kaitlyn has ever gotten in trouble like ever because she’s a huge daddy’s girl. 

I had like 36 missing assignments for Physics and about 4 things of homework one test to study for, a partnered project to work on, still had to go two decathlon practice 3 days a week, and a flashdrive to get past the firewall of. God could I use some adderall right now. 

By distracting the kids in the room with me with the Cocomelon channel. 

I’d put my headphones on and nodded along to my music and actually got two homework assignments done in a relatively short time before the screaming started. I went to get Taylon who’d woken up because he peed. I changed his diaper but he was still crying. 

I truly did not have time for this. I fed him and everything. Thank God the Cocomelon was still distracting the other kids. Whoever made that channel needs a raise. I could not get him to stop crying for more than 5 minutes. I found if I held him he’d stop but I didn’t have the time to just sit around holding him. 

I gave him my phone and let him play with that which shut him up. 

Then Kaitlyn decided to come and pester me about food. I made peanut butter jelly sandwiches, but they decided they didn’t want them after I’d already made them. So here I was making spaghetti with a toddler on my hip and doing homework at the same time. 

I’d actually gotten used to all this multi tasking that’s when I heard a knock at the door. 

I put the spoon back in the pot and closed my textbook heading over to the door. 

I open the door to Peter standing there. 

“Uh Hello?” I asked more than said. 

“Uh, yeah hi, we were supposed to work on the project?” 

“Oh shi-” I almost said then remembered I was holding a kid. “Sorry I forgot,” If we're being completely honest I don’t remember anything from school that day nor do I remember telling him to come here but I wasn’t gonna send him away. 

“Well you can come in” I announced stepping towards the side of the door. 

“Sorry about the chaos” I gestured to everything. ”You can go sit on the couch, I’ll be right over” 

He did just that and sat his backpack on his lap. 

“Jason, Kaitlyn bebé ven a buscar tu comida” 

( Jason Kaitlyn baby come get your food) 

They made their way over still attached to the tablet. 

“I thought your dad said no tablet at the table?” I said. I wasn’t really going to take it away, I was just teasing. 

“I thought you were fun tía,” Jason shot back. 

“I am fun!” I said fake hurt and they both giggled. 

I slid the plates across the table towards them. “Here eat,” 

“¿Es tu novio de ahí?” Kaitlyn asked looking over at Peter. 

(Is that your boyfriend over there?)

“No he’s not, but can you watch your brother for me for a little bit?” 

She nodded. I shifted Taylon off my hip and slipped him into his high chair and gave him a bag of chips. 

Plopping down next to Peter I clapped my hands.

“Okay sorry about the wait, so what do we need to do?” 

After explaining the project to me we’d gotten half of it done and Taylon was napping again and everyone else was quiet and watching TV. We probably could’ve finished the whole thing if we hadn’t gone on so many tangents. Peter was actually good at explaining things. 

We talked about literally everything from favorite flavors of starburst to life goals and shit. I don't know what I want in life actually. It’d be cool to go to college but it’s expensive and no one else in my family has been. 

When it got late Peter announced that he had to go. 

“Alright let me walk you out,” I pushed up off the couch.

“You’re really smart, I know you don’t think that but you are,” he said almost out of nowhere once we were out the door. I could feel my face heat up. This is a moment I was thankful for my melanin allowing me not to blush. 

“Thank you, you’re not so bad yourself, Parker,” 

“So we're doing this same time tomorrow right?” 

“Yes, that’s the plan,” 

For the past week I’d convinced my brother to let my babysit everyday so I could still hang out with Peter. I never thought that we of all people could be friends. Before this he was so like “Peter” just way too much. Once you get to know him he’s not that bad. We’d finished the project and I still hadn’t done any of my other work but by the power of adderall I’d gotten into the flashdrive. I was too scared to check anything in it, but I did erase Black Cats name from the police station records. 

It’d been at least three more days and I hadn’t done any work. I hadn’t talked to Peter or MJ or anyone else either. The one other human I’ve had contact with is Wade. Even with me living at his house it was still minimal. I hadn’t gotten much sleep because adderall keeps you up at all hours of the day but I don’t think I could survive without it. 

I knew I had to be walking. I was walking because I had to. I mean I was walking and I had no intention of stopping. I was getting major deja vu. This exact place felt so familiar.

Oh- that’s why.

I was in the projects where I used to live. I was off in Bronxchester off of 156th St. Ann’s Avenue. I hate this place so much.

I hated it.

I hated it. 

I hated it. 

Having to live in a rat infested one bedroom apartment sleeping cramped up on top of my siblings was literally the worst time of my life. The shitty school University Heights where half the girls were pregnant. Not to mention my dad was on a fucking rage rampage all the time cause he couldnt get a job as a felon. 

I was still walking though. I knew I was going somewhere. Not sure where until I’d gotten near the Hartz chicken on the end of the street. That’s where I was going. I knew I was meeting up with my friend. How could I forget that? I was about to cross the street until someone in a grey van rolled down their window sticking out a gun.

I knew she was gonna get shot. There was nothing I could do to stop it. Yet still I was screaming at least I was trying to. I couldn’t find my voice. 

By the time I could it was too late.

I’d seen her. The bullets piercing her skin would be something seared into my brain forever. And as fast as the car came it was gone. 

Then I was running. I was running to get to her because I could still help her. I had to.

She was bleeding and there was too much blood. It was everywhere. I remember my brother told me if someone is ever bleeding out you need to stop the blood. 

I could barely see because my tears were clouding my vision. I was pushing down on her stomach screaming for someone to call 9-1-1. Just to help. 

“You’re gonna be okay,” I remember saying it over and over again I don’t know if I was trying to convince myself or her.. 

The police got here right after I’d watched her eyes gloss over just because that’s how it works in Melrose. Yes she was gone but she was only the first of many. The police had never done anything for me before so why would they start now. 

They had to pry me off her. They couldn't, I had to help, I had to… I had to help. She didn’t like to be alone. Yeah sure she’d done bad things but she didn't deserve this. She was just a kid. I was just a kid. They took her phone while I was screaming not to touch her.

 They asked for my parents' information. I didn’t want to tell them, I didn’t want my dad. I don’t wanna see him. I just wanted my friend back. They loaded her into the back of the ambulance. I

 knew they were driving away. I was running and screaming. I could feel people staring. I knew they were looking at me. I knew they knew. I didn’t care, I had to run. I had to get her. A pair of hands grabbed me from behind and I started thrashing. 

I couldn’t, I can’t, I had to help, I had to help her. I was still screaming and my throat was sore. Her blood was everywhere, it was all over me and I couldn’t I couldn’t help her. I couldn’t help myself. I was scared. 

“Hey,” I felt myself being shook from behind. “Hey!” 

I turned around to Wade’s familiar face. 

“I’m sorry for waking you, I know it’s dangerous or something like that but you were just screaming and I got worried,” 

Wasn’t supposed to wake me?

“I was,” my voice was small I sounded 5 I felt 5 “I was sleeping walking?” 

“Yeah you were”  he confirmed, leading me to one of the stools by his kitchen island. 

He sat me down, walked off and got me a glass of water. I didn’t realize how bad I was shaking until I tried to bring the cup to my lips. 

He brought a towel to the side of my arm dabbing at it. The blood dripped from the side of my wrist all the way down to my elbow. 

“What’d you cut yourself on?” He asked and I shrugged my shoulders. 

“You know they never even said her name?” I said after we sat in silence for a moment. 

“What?” 

“Rose you know my friend,” 

“Oh…” he said as the realization of who I was talking about settled in. 

“Yeah her, they never said her name no one said it around me because they felt I was gonna break, they all just looked at me like I was made out of glass, I don’t even know how people knew I was there. But I was- I was just so angry, ”  

I waited to see if he was going to say anything but he didn’t. He was just going to listen, no jokes to lighten the mood just listening. 

“Even on the news. To everyone outside of St Ann’s she was just a ‘14 year old girl caught up in gang violence fatally shot’ they used a terrible picture of her too. It made my blood boil that, that was all she got, Then I realized that’s just how it was for us and the only way I was making it out the hood was if it was 6 feet under,” 

My mom used to say that’s what they did for black people, used a picture of them looking ‘hood’ some people call it a thugshot. They use a picture that makes them look mean and aggressive. She was neither of those things she was the nicest person I ever knew. She just got caught up in the gang mess because it was the only family she had.  

“I’ve never talked about this before, but I feel like everyone just forgot about her like it’s only been 2 years and I’ve never heard anyone say her name. At least not around me” I ran my finger on the tattoo of a rose. “This was the first tattoo I’d ever gotten I did it myself so it’s kinda shitty but I feel like it keeps her memory alive, because if no one else was gonna do it and If wasn’t gonna then who would you know?” I trailed off for a second. Then noticed he was in the Deadpool suit just without the mask. 

“Where are you going?” I asked. 

“Now I think you know me well enough to know I’m not telling you that,” He smiled and I smiled back weakly. 

“You’ll be okay though?” He asked. 

“Now I think you know me well enough to know I’ll be okay,” I turned his own words against him. 

I glanced back down at the tattoo and I remember looking over the tattoo on my finger for you it means merely nothing. Just another girl getting another basic tattoo. For me it means everything. It was the way I fought back. It was my first ‘fuck you’ to everyone to everything. It was my best friend. It was my first love. So to you I’m just another girl with another basic rose tattoo but to me. To me? It’s the way I remember it’s the way I keep my friend with me. It’s the way I’d make sure I couldn’t forget the unforgettable. Roses are delicate and fragile but they’ll hurt you when you try to pick them. So even the most beautiful of flowers would defend itself if it came to it. To you my rose tattoo is just a flower. However, to me Rose was the most beautiful human this world had ever seen.

Art had to be my favorite subject. Solely for the reason I’ve never had a non chill art teacher, but today it was Physics which is usually my least favorite class. 

Only because the class made me feel like my day was turning around. 

MJ was standing next to me when I opened by locker and loudly exclaimed 

“Yes!” 

“What?” She turned to me “What is it?” 

“Sorry for scaring you, it's nothing. I just found some candy” I held up the Push Pop “See?” 

“Oh if you don’t show up to practice today they’re kicking you off the decathlon team, and make sure you get to class on time though,” 

“Of course when have I ever been late,” 

She gave me a look that had “really?” written all over it. 

“Okay don’t answer that question but I’m going, now you need to get to class you have a test to take,” 

I’d taken the test already because I had Harrison’s class on A day, but MJ wasn’t the type to cheat. She was smart enough and didn’t need my help.

She was very smart but she wasn’t smart enough to know the Push Pop wasn’t really a push pop at all. 

It was a cart that I thought I’d lost. It was just hidden in an empty Push Pop. Nightmares made me stressed and I know the perfect way to relieve stress. I know many actually such as (good) sex, running, fighting, throwing knives at shit, and weed. Luckily for me this is the last one. 

So here I was sitting in the back of the class by the farthest window away from Peter with a “Push Pop” in my mouth and my head down on the desk. I never really paid attention in class but today we were just watching some documentary so I didn’t have to. 

One of the students office workers came in and gave a note to the teacher and I figured it was about the new student I heard some of the students talking about here and there. I didn’t think anything of it until. 

Briana walked in behind Principal Morita. Briana was my best friend from elementary through middle school and the first half of freshman year before I switched schools. She acted... I didn’t wanna say ghetto but you could definitely tell she was from Melrose if you were from there. I can’t blame her with her dad being a leader to the local set and all. 

The teacher told her to introduce herself to the class and she kept it short and sweet. Then she was told to find a seat. I waved her over and she sat next to me. 

“I thought you’d forgotten about me,” She said. 

I laughed 

“As if, you’re the most extra person I know,” I said, taking another hit. 

“First of all fuck you second of all give me a hit,” I smiled handing the “Push Pop” over to her.

”Don’t you dare get caught.” 

She stuck her head under the table lightly blowing out her mouth then inhaling before the vapours could go too far out. 

“So where you been at? Haven’t heard from you in a minute,” 

“Been busy with school shit, but I’ve been around,” I responded taking the “Push Pop” from her again. 

“How’s your dad?” She asked. I just gave her an incredulous look and went.

“How’s your dad,” 

“Same old same old,” 

We spent the rest of the class with her catching me up on the people from our crew and reminiscing. Also might be good to mention we finished half the cart. So I was bugging. We both were. I would not have remembered to go to the decathlon meeting if it weren’t for MJ reminding me again. I didn’t really care for the team. I was just an alternative and I was only doing it so I could pass Mr. Harrington’s class because of the  extra credit. 

Thank God Peter wasn't at the meeting. I hadn’t talken to him since we turned in our project last week. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to talk to him per se. I could just feel myself getting closer to him and I didn't have time for more friends. Because everyone I end up loving leaves me. The more people you let into your life the more people you give the chance to leave. Seeing as I was ‘Thorn’ I probably shouldn’t get close to Spiderman anyway. 

Flash was talking about Briana. He didn't say her name directly but I knew he was talking about her. Since he was talking about the new girl. He talked shit about everyone, so I don’t know why this made me as angry as it did. It just rubbed me the wrong way but it did. Seeing as I naturally gave zero fucks and had no impulse control. I definitely had way less control over myself when high. So before I knew it I’d punched him in the nose. 

“Y/N!” Liz and MJ yelled simultaneously. 

“What the fuck?” Flash screamed, holding his face. 

“Fuck you! Fuck you! Fucking daddy’s money ass bitch,” I pointed in my face. 

“Y/N enough, go to the office,” Mr. Harrington said. 

I could hear Flash calling me crazy as I walked out the room. Which put a smile on my face. The weird thing about principals is that the more you get in trouble the more they like you and the less harsh your punishments. I only got a week of detention which wasn’t too bad but that stupid “so you got dentention” video of Captain America was gonna get extremely annoying. 

I was right it’d only been two days and every time I heard it I wanted to rip my head off. By the third day Peter and MJ had both joined me. 

MJ didn’t even actually have detention she never did; she just liked to “draw people in despair” or whatever it was that she said. Today she was drawing Peter. It was surprising to see him here.  I was scrolling through tiktok. I was going to say something to him but what would I even say?

I grew some balls and I’d said hi. It was just small talk but we still spoke nonetheless. The week was going by so fucking fast. Tomorrow’s the day we’re going to Washington. I did have to spend a lot of my saved money though. I’d spoken to my sisters and they said dad was sober now and he wanted me to come home. Which I’m not sure if I believe. I mean I know he’s sober. I talked to him too but how long would that last. How many times has this happened before? I don’t have time to worry about him. 

It seemed like I had only blinked and now I was on the bus to D.C. Now for the next couple of days I gotta stay in a hotel room. Nothing out of the ordinary for me, except now I get to stay with MJ and Bri. I don’t know how I managed to convince Mr. Harrington to let her come. 

Peter had almost missed the bus but showed up last minute. Liz was drilling people and MJ was sitting near her participating so I had the seat to myself. Bri was behind me on facetime with her boyfriend who just happened to be my ex. None of it was awkward though since we only dated for like a week and decided we were better off as friends. If we were being honest I was so tired. I felt like shit. Listening to sad music when sad is a set routine of mine so I was listening to Violent Crimes and staring out the window before I knew it I had drifted off to sleep. 

Taglist:

@tomdiddlyumptious

[kerikaaria]

If I Never Met You: Chapter 22

(??? X Reader) Idol!AU, Manager!Reader

Genre: (PG13) Fluff

WC: 3.1k

Warnings: None

Series Masterlist

Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 | Chapter 23

Despite obviously having to take planes to get to South Korea, I still felt really nervous as we boarded. Nervous, but also very excited. While I knew it was for work and it would be unlikely to have much time for leisure, I’d never been to Japan so I couldn’t wait to see it.

I slowly made my way through the narrow aisle of the plane until I found my seat, pleased to find Hobi already sitting at the window next to my spot. I slid in next to him, and he beamed a smile at me.

“Oh, I get to sit next to you, noona?” he asked while I made myself as comfortable as I could.

“Looks like it,” I replied with a small smile. We weren’t sure of our seat arrangements prior to this since that wasn’t handled by me and Sejin.

Not too long after, Namjoon stopped in the aisle, double checking the numbers above the seats and the one on his ticket before deciding he found the right place and sliding into the aisle seat next to me.

He got himself situated and comfortable before looking over and flashing his dimpled smile in our direction. “You excited?”

Both of us nodded, but Hobi’s was definitely a lot more enthusiastic than mine. I honestly was, but right now I was a little more preoccupied with getting past the take off.

I decided to put on my earbuds and listen to some music to help distract my thoughts until then. I didn’t know what it was about the initial process of the plane leaving the ground and lifting into the air that made me uncomfortable, but I couldn’t do much about it. Last time I had to fly I was alone and had no idea what to expect since it was my first time, so that made it infinitely worse. Maybe this time, it’d be a bit better since I am surrounded by people I’m comfortable with.

I zoned out and didn’t pay attention to any conversations going on around me until the announcement regarding flight safety came on. I turned off my phone and focused on my hands clasped together tightly in my lap, getting more and more nervous the closer we got to the inevitable. I had a feeling my recent increase in anxiety was definitely not helping me out on this.

When it seemed like the safety lecture was almost done, I felt Hoseok tap on my shoulder. I managed to look at him before he whispered, “Are you okay?”

I nodded quickly, but he wasn’t convinced. I probably wouldn’t have been either–I was sure my whole posture was just screaming discomfort. Hobi placed a hand on top of mine, and the steadiness of his touch made me realize that I had actually been shaking. He gently coerced my hands apart to take one in his own, lacing his fingers in between mine.

Joon must have noticed at this point as well, mimicking his friend’s actions only a moment later. “It’s okay, noona. It’ll all be fine.”

“You don’t like flying?” Hoseok asked.

“When we’re in the air, I’m okay,” I said. “I just can’t stand the take off. I don’t know why, but it freaks me out.”

“We’re here with you,” Namjoon said. “No need to be worried.” The plane was now making its way to the runway where it would eventually leave the ground.

“Just focus on us, noona,” Hobi said. “We’ll keep talking to you through it, okay?” He looked toward Namjoon who nodded in response.

“Yeah, just close your eyes and focus on our voices,” Namjoon added. “Don’t pay attention to what’s going on around you. We’ll let you know when we’re in the clouds.”

I nodded slowly, laying my head back onto the seat and closing my eyes as Joon suggested. I gently squeezed both of their hands in mine as a silent thank you for their support.

They stayed true to their word, whispering comforting words as the engines roared louder and the plane picked up speed before leaving the ground. My heart was still racing, but with the two of them supporting me it was so much more bearable than when I did this alone. And once the plane was in the clouds and the feeling of its speed and incline leveled out, Hoseok told me it was safe to open my eyes.

I slowly pried my eyes open and loosened my hold on their hands. Hobi let go, but Joon still kept his gentle grip on the hand he was holding. I turned to him and saw him studying my face very carefully.

“Are you okay now?” he asked.

I smiled softly and squeezed his hand before releasing it. “Yeah, I’m good now. Thank you for helping me, Joonie and Hobi.”

“Of course, noona,” Hobi said, placing a hand on my shoulder.

“It should be a couple of hours before we land,” Joonie said. “Are you going to be okay until then?”

“Yeah, I’m okay with everything else. It’s only the takeoff that I don’t like,” I managed to get out before yawning and turned my phone back on. “But I am feeling really tired. I think I’ll take a nap while I can.”

I heard Joon chuckle while I closed my eyes and rested my head back against the seat.

“Alright. See you in a few hours then, noona,” Hoseok said.

It didn’t take me long at all to fall asleep, feeling the comfort from my friends around me and listening to the calming playlist I had set up on my phone.

I slept surprisingly soundly for being in an unfamiliar place. When my eyes did open, I realized I had ended up resting my head on Joon’s shoulder. He must have also fallen asleep, since his head was laying on top of mine and I heard him quietly snoring. I smiled to myself as I looked at the time on my phone. If we were still on schedule, we should be landing very soon.

I noticed notifications from our group chat, so I opened that up to see what the boys could have possibly decided to text each other about, rather than actually talk in person. I was presented with a picture. Of course, Jimin had apparently turned around and seen me and Joonie asleep and decided to take a picture.

Jimin: Look at them! So cute! 🥰

Taetae: Awww. 💗💗💗 I hope I sit next to noona coming back so she can sleep on my shoulder too!

Hobi: She’s now snuggled with two members while sleeping. Who will be next?

Jin: I bet on Yoongi.

Jimin: That’d be so sweet! 😊

Yoongi: No.

Kookie: I feel like Taehyung hyung is going to make it his mission for him to be next.

Taetae: Yes! It better be me next!

Me: I’ll make it my own mission to make sure it doesn’t happen ever again with any of you.

Taetae: Awwwww but noona that’s not fair! 😔

Yoongi: Taehyung, go hug your pillow.

Jin: Good morning (Y/n). 😊

Jin was also sitting in front of us, and he turned around to wave. I gently waved back, being careful not to move too much as to not disturb Joon’s sleep. “Did you sleep well on your little pillow there?” he asked.

“Actually yes, I did,” I responded quietly. “You should get yourself one of these.”

“You’re still the comfiest pillow,” Jin said with a wink.

“Hyung, can you not flirt with noona in public?” Jungkook whined next to him, making him laugh.

It seemed as though it became too noisy for Joon to stay asleep, when he abruptly lifted his head off of mine and slowly opened his eyes.

I sat up straight and said, “Good morning, Joonie. We’re probably landing soon.”

He nodded while yawning and took a look at his phone. Just a moment later, I got a new notification from the group chat.

Joonie: Seriously Jimin?

Our first two days in Japan were pretty busy, going around for various promotions to try to help spread their popularity in the country. It seemed to be going pretty well, but generally it wasn’t much different from what we would do back home. It was a bit weird for me not being able to understand much of the language, though. I only learned very basic words and phrases, and felt relatively lost when people were speaking around me. It was a feeling I was certainly not used to.

“If we’re going to be coming here often, I’m going to need to really study the language,” I said to no one in particular during the car ride back to the hotel.

“I’m sure you’ll learn it in no time, seeing how quickly you learned Korean,” Jimin encouraged.

“I don’t know, Japanese seems harder to me,” I said.

“I don’t think it would be,” Joon said. “The sentence structure for Japanese is pretty similar to Korean, and it’s mostly just a matter of memorizing general grammar rules and vocabulary, which you’ve already done once before.”

“You can say that for pretty much any language,” I retorted.

“You’re obviously good with languages,” Taehyung added. “I’m sure you could do it within a couple years, just like before.” He flashed me that adorable boxy smile of his.

“Until then just rely on me, noona,” Joon said. “I’m not really fluent, but I have a good handle on it.”

We arrived at the hotel, and I only spent enough time in my room to change my clothes before leaving again. We didn’t have anything else to do for the day, but it wasn’t very late yet so I wanted to take the opportunity to spend some time exploring a bit.

While waiting for the elevator, someone came up behind me and placed their hand on top of my head. I quickly spun around, startled, only to find Namjoon smiling down at me.

“Don’t scare me like that!” I said, letting out a bit of a laugh.

He chuckled at my reaction. “Where are you headed, noona?”

“I wanted to do some exploring,” I said. “I’ve never been to Japan, so I wanted to take a look around while I had the time.”

“I was just about to do the same,” Joon said. “Why don’t we go together?”

“Sounds good. That’s way better than wandering around alone.”

Namjoon nodded in agreement as the elevator doors opened and we made our way outside.

“Any idea where you wanted to go?” Joon asked me.

“Not really, I was just going to randomly wander around,” I shrugged.

“Mind me taking the lead then?” he asked.

“I’ve been told how you have no sense of direction, you sure that’s a good idea?” I teased.

“Hey, I’m not that bad.” We started walking in the direction Joon seemed to want to go. “I planned a route I wanted to take beforehand, so I’m prepared.”

“Alright. I guess it’ll be up to me to find our way back if we get lost.” I playfully smirked at him.

He narrowed his eyes at me. “I could just go back to my room if you really want me to.”

“No!” I grabbed onto his arm to keep him from walking away.

He heartily laughed. “I’m just kidding, noona. I wouldn’t leave you alone.”

I took in a deep breath before laughing along with him to hide the anxiousness I felt. I was genuinely scared for a moment that I joked too much and made him annoyed with me. Of course it was just a joke. You’re overreacting, stop that, I reprimanded myself.

We walked together for a little while, mostly just taking in the buildings and scenery around us. I found it so interesting how each city had its own character, despite being comprised of basically the same things. Any large city like this I had been to – New York, Seoul, and now Tokyo – had buildings everywhere. Skyscrapers and smaller ones, the occasional bit of purposely placed nature, traffic constantly clogging the streets, and masses of people weaving their way to their individual destinations.

But despite all those similarities, each city was uniquely different. It was definitely in large part due to the variances in culture–different styles of architecture both historical and modern–but that just made it all the more fascinating. I never thought I could get used to being surrounded by such condensed city, but I’d really come to appreciate the beauty in it over time.

After walking around for a little while, something caught Namjoon’s eye and he paused, staring at a particular building.

“What’s up, Joonie?” I asked.

“Do you want to go to a Japanese bakery?” he asked, turning to me and smiling. He knew how much I loved pastries and baked goods.

My eyes instantly lit up. “Yes!”

He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the bakery he spotted. “Let’s go then.”

As soon as we entered the building, my eyes darted around the display of different pastries. I heard the worker greeting us in Japanese and Joonie responding back, but was too preoccupied with looking over all the delicious-looking sweets to pay any attention.

Namjoon appeared next to me and chuckled at my excitement. “See anything you like, noona?”

“They all look so good!” I responded, lingering on a particularly cute pastry that was in the shape of a popular cartoon character. “Some of these look so cute I want to buy them, but don’t know if I could bring myself to eat them at the same time.”

“Yeah, they are pretty cute,” Namjoon said, now surveying the treats himself. We both took a moment to contemplate our choices before he said, “I think I know what I want to try. Have you decided yet?”

I realized there was a pastry that had my favorite fruit flavor and decided I had to go with that. “Yeah, I think I want this one.”

“Alright then,” Namjoon started walking towards the register and I noticed he was planning on paying.

“Wait,” I said, grabbing his arm to still him. “I got it, Joon.”

“You don’t always need to buy things for us, noona,” he said, smiling gently. “We can treat you sometimes, too.”

“But I want to buy some for everyone,” I said.

“Oh yeah, that’s a good idea.” He finished approaching the register and pulled out his wallet. “I’m still paying though.”

He didn’t let me protest again, speaking in Japanese to the cashier and pointing to various treats in the case to tell her our order.

We walked out of there with a few bags’ worth of deserts, plenty to make the others happy. Namjoon led us back to the hotel, surprisingly easily without any wrong turns.

“I’ll have to tell them how you didn’t get us lost,” I said while we were in the elevator. “I’m sure they’ll be surprised, if the stories they’ve told me are any indicator about their faith in your navigation skills.”

Joon just shook his head and chuckled, and we exited the elevator when it reached our floor. “Where should we all meet to eat this?”

“Why don’t we go to your room?” I asked. “Who are you sharing with again?”

“Yoongi hyung,” he answered. “We can go set this stuff down and then gather the others.”

“Sounds good,” I said before Namjoon took out his keycard to open his door. The lights were out in the room, so I assumed Yoongi already went to sleep. “Or maybe not?” I whispered. “I don’t want to disturb him if he’s already asleep.”

“I’m not sleeping,” Yoongi said from the bed, although he sounded very groggy.

Joon turned on the lights as I set the bags I carried on the closest surface. I saw Yoongi laying on his side on the further bed, facing away from us.

“You don’t need to get up if you don’t want to Yoongi,” I said. He grumbled a response, before curling in towards himself. “Are you okay?” I asked.

“I’m fine,” he managed to say, but his words were obviously strained.

I shared a concerned look with Joon, both of us seeming to agree that something was wrong.

“Hyung, you definitely don’t sound fine,” Joonie said, moving to sit on the bed next to Yoongi. Once he did and got a good look at the older boy, he looked back to me, his eyes widened.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, quickly making my way over.

“He looks really sick,” Joon responded.

I walked to the other side of the bed to see, and what I saw made me immediately concerned. Yoongi was sweating and gripping onto his stomach with his hand. It seemed like his stomach was hurting, seeing that along with his eyes tightly squeezed shut. I placed the back of my hand to his forehead to gauge his temperature, and he definitely had a fever.

“Yoongi, when did this start?” I asked.

“A bit earlier,” he croaked out. “But it wasn’t bad earlier, it just hurt a little bit.”

“On a scale of one to ten, how bad is it?” Joon asked.

He let out a slow breath, seeming to think. “Maybe a seven?”

“Okay, we’re going to the hospital,” I said.

“No, noona,” Yoongi said. “I will be fine, I just need to rest.”

“Yoongi, you have a fever and a terrible stomach ache,” I insisted. “Something is wrong. And I’m not letting you suffer like this.” I placed a hand on his shoulder, which got him to open his eyes. “Do you think you can get up and walk down to the van with me?”

He slowly nodded and started to straighten himself up.

“Joon, can you come with me?” I asked. “I need someone to help with directions to the hospital and I don’t want to take Sejin and leave everyone else without a manager if they need someone.”

He nodded in agreement as I placed one of Yoongi’s arms over my shoulders and got him to stand up. But with me being shorter, I probably wasn’t that much help in supporting him.

“I got him,” Joon said, taking his other side.

We made our way to the garage where the van was parked as quickly as Yoongi could walk, while I called Sejin to tell him what was going on and that I’d keep him updated.

Joon helped his hyung into the car, buckling him in before sliding into the passenger seat.

I looked back at Yoongi before starting the car. “You’ll be okay, Yoongi. Just hang in there.”

Series Masterlist

Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 | Chapter 23

Tags: @calling-dips-on-j-hope​ @misohime​ @netflix-batman-sleep​ @smallbaby-cat​ @leitholdwithlove​ @ramyagovindraj​ @leesalts​ @rjsmochii​

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[artificialqueens]

Duality, Chapter 3 (Crygi) - Metaluna

Chapter summary: *Stefon from Saturday Night Live voice* this chapter has everything, awkward morning afters, time jumps, anniversary sex, and fluff

A/N: I am SO sorry that I keep forgetting to submit to here, especially if you only read fics on here, but as a reminder all of my fics on ao3 (this has two more chapters oops)

When Crystal woke up, there was a quilt delicately draped over her body. The events of the previous night were foggy. As she thought about it further, she wasn’t sure if she was remembering correctly. Crystal remembered going home with Gigi, and remembered having sex. Amazing sex. But, halfway through, she could have sworn that Gigi bit her leg, and upon thinking even further, could have sworn Gigi said she was a vampire.

Impossible.

Crystal sat up and looked around. It was still dark outside, meaning she could probably step away, unnoticed, and could try her best to forget about the fact she may or may not have slept with a fucking vampire. She carefully put her dress on, looking at the torn-up thong on the ground, with a sigh. It was her favorite. Crystal realized Gigi was nowhere to be found, but the door was shut, and she could see the light coming from underneath.

Crystal knew her plans of sneaking out without Gigi noticing were slim, but she tried to formulate a game plan. She looked out the window, but then remembered they were on the third floor. For a second, Crystal tried to determine how injured she would get if she jumped out of a third story window.

There was no other way than to just walk through the front door. It was a one-night stand, what did Gigi expect?

She slowly opened the door, and saw that Gigi was sitting on the couch, petting a cat, watching a movie. Crystal knew it was stupid, but she tried her best to sneak behind Gigi, who appeared to be engrossed in the movie

Gigi turned her head as Crystal swore silently. “You’re awake.”

“Uh-huh. I was just leaving…”

“Why?” Gigi asked, genuinely curious.

“You’re joking, right?” Gigi raised an eyebrow. “You don’t have a lot of one-night stands, do you?”

Gigi shook her head.

“Well, generally, one doesn’t stay and chat afterwards. In fact, ideally, the person who the apartment doesn’t belong to can wake up before the other person, and can leave, never to be seen again.”

“What do you remember about last night?” Gigi asked.

“I remember you tearing my thong off of me. I remember that the sex was incredible . But, I remember something weird… But I probably just had a dream or something.”

“What do you supposedly remember?”

“You had… fangs… You asked for me to consent, like, a lot, which is great. Consent is key. Anyway, you said you were… a vampire. Which, like, isn’t possible. Vampires aren’t real.”

“They’re not?”

To Crystal’s surprise, after Gigi smiled as two fangs slid down from where her canines were.

“What the fuck?” Crystal whispered.

“If you’d like, I can make you forget about everything. This past night, my vampirism, me as a whole…”

Crystal bit her lip as she weighed the pros and cons. The pros included she’d forget about vampires existing. The cons were that she’d forget quite possibly the best sex she’d ever had, and that she’d forget about vampires existing.

“No…” Crystal trailed off.

“Are you certain?”

Crystal shook her head. “But uh, I think I’m going to leave to process this.”

“That’s understandable.”

“Do you uh, want my number? Honestly that was great sex. I’m down to fuck again.”

Gigi smirked. “I’m glad to know that it was good. I’ve unfortunately been in about a twenty-year dry spell.”

Crystal was taken aback. “When I process this can we maybe talk? About… things? If you want? Or you can just fuck me again… If you want.”

“Are you serious?” Gigi asked incredulously. “You’re asking me to fuck you again when you passed out once you came last night?”

Crystal flushed. “You’re right. Do you want my number or not?”

“I wouldn’t be opposed,” Gigi said, petting the cat next to her as she handed Crystal her phone.

As Crystal handed back her phone, Gigi stifled a laugh. “Your name is not Crystal Methyd.”

Once again, Crystal flushed. “My parents hate me… Anyway. This was… something. Call me. If you want. Or don’t. I’m sure you’re busy… With whatever it is you do.”

“Servicing dead bodies?” Gigi smirked, repeating Crystal’s comment from the previous night.

“Yeah. That. Okay, bye.”

Gigi didn’t know how a human was going to react when told they just had sex with a vampire. She thought she was going to have to glamour the girl, thinking that she would be traumatized. To Gigi’s surprise, Crystal not only was calm about the entire situation, but also seemed intrigued. Again, proving Crystal was not like other humans.

Akasha meowed as she rubbed her head against Gigi’s hand.

“I know, Akasha. For the first time in nearly a century, I’m at a loss.”

In an attempt to get her mind off of Crystal and the events of the night, Gigi decided to watch The Lost Boys . She began thinking more about Crystal, not realizing that the movie had ended.

Shutting the TV off, she looked at her phone. It was still on the contacts screen. Crystal wrote her name as Crystal Methyd with the blood drop emoji after it. She decided to text her so Crystal could save her number, at least that’s what she told herself, even though she didn’t fully believe it.

Hello. This is Gigi. I just figured you would want to have my number, too.

Checking the time, it was only five in the morning, meaning Crystal was probably asleep. Considering Gigi drank enough blood to nearly kill Crystal, she more than likely would need to sleep it off.

To Gigi’s surprise, Crystal texted back ten minutes later.

oh hi! it’s good to hear from you! tbh i thought you were gonna ghost me

Gigi wasn’t sure why Crystal didn’t capitalize anything in her sentences. Why wouldn’t anyone use proper grammar? It’s not like it was hard.

Are you feeling okay? You should probably get some sleep. If I’m being honest, I took a little bit more blood than I intended. Heat of the moment.

omg i cant believe a hot vampire almost killed me purely from being too horny. anyway yea i just happened to wake up for a sec and saw the notif

I… honestly don’t know how to respond to that, because you are 100 percent correct. Which I hate.

lmaoo usually i take at LEAST two days to text a girl, and at minimum three to ask her out. but, do you wanna meet up later?  

Gigi was genuinely shocked at Crystal’s confidence.

That sounds wonderful, I had nothing planned today.

how about the park? what time is good for you? also wont you like burst into flames or something if it’s daytime?

…I don’t sleep. Also, you can’t believe every myth about vampires you hear in popular culture. I don’t particularly enjoy the sun, but I’ll be fine.

omg, good to know.  so, i feel really tired which now i know is because your horny vampire ass lost control. can i text you when i wake up?  

Gigi rolled her eyes.

I’m choosing to ignore the middle part of that sentence. Yes, text me when you feel up to it.

Part of Crystal didn’t want to text Gigi once she woke up. When she thought about the fact that she had sex with a really fucking hot vampire, she couldn’t believe it. It sounded insane. Another part of Crystal wanted to text her back asking her to Men in Black her so that she couldn’t remember the night. The last part of Crystal wanted to text Gigi back, talk to her, and hook up again. The sex was incredible, and she felt selfish for falling asleep before she could fuck her back. It was only fair for them to hook up at least one more time.  

She wasn’t going to do it. She was going to just try to forget the one-night stand and go on with her life. Crystal had work to do for the museum, especially if she was going to impress her boss, Sasha, enough for a promotion. Becoming the creative director of the Chicago Museum of Visual Arts was more important than sex could ever be.

Just as she decided she wasn’t going to meet up with Gigi, she overheard her roommates argue about dishes. It wasn’t arguing, it was more of a screaming match. Crystal rolled over in bed and used her pillow to muffle the sound, which didn’t work.

She sighed as she picked up her phone.

hey! just woke up, i feel like i have the world’s worst hangover. anyway, do you wanna meet up in like an hour?

Gigi texted back quickly. Crystal was always impressed with the perfect grammar and capitalization Gigi used. Who had the time for that? Definitely not Crystal.

Yes, that’s the after-effect of having been fed on, unfortunately. I hope that it was worth it, though. I’ll see you in an hour.

Usually, Crystal was an extremely confident person. She had to be in order to move up at the museum as quickly as she did. But, while she was getting ready to meet with Gigi, she felt like crawling into a hole. Everything in her closet was suddenly ugly, and every way she did her makeup looked bad.

Eventually, Crystal gave up and wore minimal makeup and a flannel.

The park was walking distance from her apartment. Since it was September, the city was cooling down, not enough to be freezing, but enough to need a jacket. Crystal thanked herself for wearing a flannel.

Because she lived so close to the park, she got there before Gigi did. She almost sat on a bench directly in the sun to warm up, but then remembered Gigi saying that she didn’t like the sun, so she decided on a bench under a large tree.

Crystal checked her phone. It was noon. Where was Gigi?

Just as she started to feel discouraged, her phone vibrated.

Hello, sorry. My cat decided to vomit on my rug, so I had to take care of it. Be there soon.

Gigi made good, and showed up to the park ten minutes later. She found Crystal, and sat down on the bench next to her.

“Is your cat okay?” Crystal asked.

“Yes, she’s fine.”

“Good.”

There was an awkward pause.

Gigi began running her fingers up and down the necklace she was wearing. “I’m sure you have a lot of questions.”

“I don’t really know where to start,” Crystal said.

“Nothing is off-limits, if it gets too bad I’ll just glamour you, and we can start over.” Gigi waved her hand in front of Crystal’s face.

Crystal didn’t say anything.

“I’m kidding.”

“Oh.” Crystal could appreciate a dry sense of humor, but damn. “Okay, first question. Do you do that with all the people you… eat?”

“Well, to start, I don’t eat people, I feed from them. Secondly, no. You’re the first.”

Crystal felt an odd sense of pride. “Really? Why?”

“Honestly, I have no idea,” Gigi admitted. “I don’t know what came over me. Usually, I bring people back to the funeral home, feed off of them, kill them, and dispose of the evidence.”

Crystal was shocked by how freely she was talking about murder. “Oh! That’s another question. Why do you work at a funeral home? Like, why work at all? Don’t vampires just brood about their existence, or something?”

“It may not seem like it, but brooding for nearly a century gets old after a point. Back in the eighties, I decided I was too bored brooding, and a funeral home just seemed like a good fit. Having the blood from the bodies is a plus, too.”

“Wait. How old are you?” Crystal asked.

“I was born in 1905.”

Crystal was shocked. “I know I like older women, but goddamn.”

“Thanks,” Gigi said dryly. “If it makes a difference, I was twenty-two when I transformed.”

“Well if you look at it like that, I’m older than you. By four years. Random one, but can you read minds?”

“I can’t personally, but it’s possible, yes.”

“Wait, what?”

“Vampires can form a psychic bond between themselves and a human, but it’s not very common. I don’t personally know any vampires who have done it. We tend to not get that close to humans, myself included,” Gigi said looking away from Crystal.

“Next question. What was so different about me? Like, you say you don’t get close to humans, but here we are, in the middle of this park, talking about how you’re…” Crystal realized she raised her voice a little too loudly causing a woman who was walking her dog to look at them.

“A funeral director?” Gigi said, trying to recover. “I’ve tried racking my brain around everything that happened, and I have no idea why I took you back to my apartment, and I don’t know why I let everything else… unfold.”

“Oh,” Crystal said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Not that I regret it, not by any means.”

“You did say you lost control in the heat of the moment. Let’s just say that I’m so intoxicatingly attractive, you had no choice but to be engrossed by me.”

Gigi rolled her eyes. “Sure. Let’s go with that.”

“Can you turn into a bat?”

Gigi sighed and rested her head in her hands. There was something special about this girl.

One year later

Crystal rubbed her hands together as she blew in them in an attempt to create heat. It was late, past midnight, but it was she and Gigi’s favorite time to walk in the park. It was almost always empty, which they appreciated.

“It’s so cold,” Crystal complained. “You’re lucky you can’t get cold.”

Gigi rubbed her own hands together and rubbed Crystal’s upper arms.

“Stop! You aren’t helping. You’re always cold, and you’re making it worse.” Crystal led the two of them to a bench.

“This is the bench where I told you everything,” Gigi mused.

Crystal rested her head on her girlfriend and smiled. “I can’t believe it’s been a year.”

“Happy anniversary, darling,” Gigi said kissing Crystal’s forehead.

“Happy anniversary, baby.”

Since there wasn’t an official date that Gigi and Crystal started calling each other girlfriends, they decided to go with the date Crystal learned everything.

“You were just complaining about how cold I was, and now you’re pressed up against my body.”

Crystal held her hand up as she shut her eyes. “Shh, don’t ruin the moment, babe.”

Gigi rolled her eyes as she held Crystal’s hand. “I never in my undead life thought that I would be in love with a human.”

“Not trying to be gay, but I’m so proud of how far you’ve come this past year.”

“How so?”

“Well, the second time that we hung out you went on a tangent about how you hated basically ever human you’ve ever met but me. Oh, and in general, you’re just a lot nicer to humans that aren’t me. Like, remember that time we went to the mall and that lady cut you off and you looked like you were going to kill everyone in the mall? Like, fangs out and everything?”

Gigi rubbed the smooth pendant of her necklace. “I don’t recall what you’re talking about.”

“Liar. You’re playing with your necklace. I know you, baby.”

Pursing her lips, Gigi tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “You do.”

“Crystal! Fuck! ” Gigi moaned as she reached climax, her hips rocking as she sat on her rightful throne, Crystal’s face. As Crystal skillfully flicked her tongue over Gigi’s clit, it took everything in her power to not crush her girlfriend’s face with her thighs.

Coming down from her climax, Gigi  adjusted herself so that she was straddling Crystal.

“Do you want to go for round six?” Gigi’s tone was innocent, but her smile was sinful.

Crystal shook her head. “I want to be able to walk tomorrow.”

“Fair enough,” Gigi said as she laid her head on the pillow next to Crystal. “I love you, darling. Happy anniversary.”

“Happy anniversary,” Crystal said tenderly kissing her girlfriend.

Gigi bit her finger and drew blood as she rubbed it over Crystal’s neck where she’d fed from which caused the puncture marks to disappear as if they’d never been there. “I know you like having the marks on your thighs.”

“They’re like souvenirs!” Crystal said happily tracing one of the marks on her left thigh.

“You are so strange.”

“You love me.”

“You’re right,” Gigi said, kissing her girlfriend.

Crystal yawned. “How much blood did you take tonight?”

Gigi looked away, licking her finger.

“Baby!” Crystal whined.

“You certainly weren’t complaining when my head was between your legs, darling. Especially during round three.”

Crystal yawned again, nestling into Gigi’s arms. “True. I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Gigi usually only waited for Crystal to fall asleep before she went into the living room. But, Crystal looked so peaceful so she stayed a little longer, just taking in the sight of her beautiful love. Eventually, she carefully crept out of the bed and kissed Crystal’s forehead. Ensuring the blankets were on just as Crystal liked, Gigi quietly shut the door.

It’s not that Gigi particularly liked watching TV and movies as much as she did, but she had nothing better to pass the time. Scrolling through Netflix, she settled on The Haunting of Hill House.

Silently critiquing inconsistencies in the funeral home in the show, she heard Crystal open the bedroom door.

“Darling? Could you not sleep?”

Crystal didn’t reply, but instead ran into the bathroom and shut the door. Gigi heard Crystal turn the bathroom fan on. Try she may, Crystal couldn’t silence the sound of her vomiting from her girlfriend’s heightened hearing.

Gigi knocked on the bathroom door lightly. “Crystal?”

No response.

“Crystal, are you okay?”

Crystal only groaned in response.

“Can I come in?”

No response.

“I’m coming in.”

Gigi had seen a lot of things in her life that should have made her sad that didn’t. Seeing her love laying on the bathroom floor resting her head against the toilet seat was extremely upsetting. Crystal groaned again, which caused Gigi to kneel down by her.

Stroking Crystal’s hair, Gigi said, “What do you need me to do?”

Crystal groaned again before looking at Gigi. “Heidi was out sick with the flu the other day, and I’m just remembering now that we shared a sandwich.”

“Oh, darling, that’s probably why you’re so exhausted.”

“I’m sorry I blamed you,” Crystal mumbled.

“Shh, it’s okay.” Gigi effortlessly picked Crystal up and carried her to bed.

“My hero,” Crystal said, swooning dramatically.

“Do you need anything?”

“Water.”

Rarely did Gigi use her vampire speed. Most of the time, it wasn’t necessary, especially recently. But, this was necessary. She returned before Crystal could blink.

“That’s new,” Crystal said as she graciously took the glass.

“I don’t do that often. It’s not needed.”

“Getting your girlfriend water was a circumstance of needing to become The Flash?”

“Yes,” Gigi said as she got into bed with Crystal and covered them with the blankets.

Crystal sat the glass on the nightstand as she fell asleep in her girlfriend’s loving embrace.

It took Crystal barely ten minutes to fall back asleep. It was six in the morning, and Gigi knew she wasn’t going into work. She had a sick girlfriend to take care of.

Gigi scrolled through her contacts until she found Jackie’s number.

Jackie answered the phone instantly. “Gigi? Is everything okay? Do you need me to come in early?”

“Everything’s okay, no not unless you want to. But that’s not why I’m calling. I’m calling because I have a very sick girlfriend who I need to tend to. I’m not going to be coming in today. Do you think you can handle yourself?”

“As long as there’s no one that needs any reconstruction work.”

It was enduring to Gigi that Jackie referred to the bodies as people.

Gigi sighed. “Okay, if that happens, call me and I’ll come in.”

“Tell Crystal I say feel better soon!”

“Of course.”

Now that work was taken care of, Gigi had to go to the grocery store. Before she and Crystal started dating, Gigi hadn’t stepped foot in a grocery store in nearly a century. In the past year, she’d become well-versed on where everything was kept. After picking up all the ingredients she needed, she returned home, hoping she still knew how to be a good little housewife-to-be.

Before becoming a vampire, Gigi already had an incredible memory. Vampirism only heightened it, meaning Gigi could remember almost every recipe that her mother taught her how to make. Even though Crystal didn’t cook often, she still had a nice collection of pots and pans.

Gigi was so engrossed in cooking, she didn’t realize Crystal had migrated from the bed to the couch.

“Babe, what are you doing?” Crystal asked as she sat up on the couch.

“You need to eat.”

“It’s only eight, and the last thing I want to do is eat.”

“It’ll take some time for the soup to cook.”

Crystal raised an eyebrow. “Baby, I love you, but you haven’t cooked anything in like ninety years, and now you’re making me soup from scratch?”

Gigi sat on the arm of the couch as she stroked her girlfriend’s hair. “I think that you’re forgetting I was in training to be a housewife.”

“God, I can only imagine how adorable you must have looked in a poofy dress and apron,” Crystal said before she fell into a coughing fit, somehow still managing to laugh.

“You’ve called me many different names this past year, but I think ‘adorable’ is a first.”

“Honestly, I’d pay a lot of dollars to see what you looked like as a human.”

Suddenly, Gigi got an idea. “Hold that thought.”

Gigi went into the bedroom and laid on her stomach. Using her phone’s flashlight, she first saw her and Crystal’s box of sex toys, but deeper under the bed was a much smaller box. Stretching as far she could, Gigi reached the box.

Before leaving the bedroom, Gigi made sure to take one thing out of the box before returning to Crystal.

“You said you wanted to see what I looked like as a human?”

Crystal nodded. “I’d literally pay to see it.”

“Well, pay up, love.” Gigi handed Crystal three framed photos from when she was a human.

“How did you get these?”

“A few months after I was turned, I snuck into my parent’s home in the middle of the night.”

Crystal gasped and put her hand over her mouth. They were definitely her girlfriend. Her facial expression mirrored when she had to interact with humans she found annoying. Gigi’s eyes were what were the most unmistakable part of  the photo. Even though they were in black and white, somehow Gigi’s eyes still had the sparkle that Crystal adored. Despite the photos being in black and white, it was still easy to see that Gigi was wearing light colors, something that didn’t normally happen.

The first photo was Gigi and a girl who looked just like her.

“Is that Nora?” Crystal asked. It had taken Gigi quite some time before she talked about her human life, but one night, Gigi and Crystal spent the entire night up until the early morning talking about her human life.

Gigi nodded.

“She’s beautiful.”

The next photo was a family photo. Crystal smiled as she saw that Gigi looked just like her mother. “You all look like each other.”

“That’s what everyone always told us.”

The final photo made Crystal gasp audibly. “Holy shit.”

Crystal wasn’t entirely sure if she was seeing what she thought she saw. The man in the photo with Gigi, who she presumed was her fiance, was a face she’d seen in her middle school history books.

“What?”

“You were engaged to James Rossini?” Crystal asked incredulously.

Gigi nodded.

“Did you know he was one of Chicago’s biggest mobsters back then?”

Gigi shook her head. “He and his father were always very secretive about what they did for a living. Nora ended up marrying his cousin. He mainly kept the books and didn’t kill anyone, which is why you’ve never heard of him.”

“God, I can just see you as a fancy schmancy mob wife, babe. In a huge mansion surrounded by nice things,” Crystal said.

“Well, now I buy myself nice things,” Gigi said looking around their apartment.

Crystal couldn’t stop staring at the photos. It was as though she saw a side of her girlfriend that she never thought she would ever get to see.

Crystal managed to doze off again, but was woken up by the sound of the oven timer. She peeked over the couch and saw Gigi was smiling at the photos before she got up to check on the soup boiling on the stove.

Every so often, there were moments where Crystal could see her girlfriend’s vulnerability. They were extremely rare, but when they happened, it was as though she was looking at a different person. Gigi’s coldness towards most people was an act that Crystal could see right through, even if Gigi wasn’t aware of it.

“Are you hungry, darling?”

“A little,” Crystal said sitting up on the couch.

Gigi brought over a bowl and the ginger ale that Crystal swore could cure cancer.

“I used to make this all the time when my family members were sick. I’m sure it’s not nearly as good as it was when I used to make it regularly.” Gigi took the seat on the couch next to Crystal.

Crystal blew on the soup on her spoon to cool it down. She was nervous, since she had absolutely no idea what to expect. Gigi watched in anticipation as Crystal had her first bite.

“Oh my God, babe, it’s so good.”

Gigi’s face lit up. “Really?”

Crystal nodded. After finishing the bowl and setting it on the questionably assembled coffee table, she kissed Gigi. “I’m glad you can’t get sick.”

“Me, too.”

“I love you, my good little trophy wife.”

Gigi rolled her eyes. “I am not.”

“Wife” was a word that Gigi never thought of when she looked at Crystal. Anytime it would come up on accident, the subject would be changed.

“You’re pretty good at taking care of the living, too,” Crystal mused. “Who would have thought?”

“Not me.”

In that moment, Gigi swore her life was perfect. If only it would last forever.

[spitefulinamillionways]

one shot idea: maybe how the family would react to beej having something like a panic attack or a nightmare? honestly i just love fics where they help him when he’s vulnerable (also if you ever want to post some art i would love to see it!)

awh, now i’m thinking about how juno would react to beej’s panic attacks..

•

Betelgeuse woke up in a cold sweat. He frantically looked around his small room, the old storage closet, before taking a deep breath and getting out of bed, throwing the blanket on the ground. He rushed into the kitchen and snatched a cup out of the cupboard, though many followed and landed on the floor, smashing everywhere.

“Shit!” He hissed, quickly trying to pick up all the shards of glass, cutting himself accidentally in the process. He wiped his hand on his shirt before being stopped by the light being turned on and a quiet, tired voice speaking up from the other side of the kitchen.

“Beej? What are you doing so late at night?” Lydia mumbled, rubbing her eyes.

“Oh, uh, I-” He was interrupted by Lydia shushing him, “I just..wanted to get a drink of water.” He whispered, looking back down at the glass, picking up the last few shards and throwing them away.

“Ghosts don’t need to drink water though...” She leaned against the door, half asleep. The door to the kitchen was opened again, causing Lydia to fall over and catch herself.

“What’s going on in here?” Barbara and Adam rushed through the door, both looking equally as concerned as the other.

“I just..wanted a drink..” Betelgeuse sat on the counter and filled a half-smashed cup with water, then drank it slowly. He was about to throw it into the sink, but even he realised how dumb of an idea that was. He put the cup down next to him and looked back up at the three, getting a proper look at them and sighed in relief. Thank god they were actually okay..

“Okay, but why did you smash so many cups?” Barbara asked, crossing her arms.

“I was in a hurry.” He mumbled, dangling his feet at the end of the counter and picking his fingernails.

Lydia sat next to him on the counter, looking at the cup. How the hell did he drink out of this?

“What hurry? It’s not like anybody was stopping you.” Lydia put the cup down and looked straight at Betelgeuse.

Betelgeuse stared right back at Lydia, which made her roll her eyes and turn to the Maitlands, shrugging. The two sighed and walked over to him.

“You can tell us if anything happened.” Adam reassured, holding Betelgeuse’s arm. After a couple moments of silence, he finally said something.

“Well, I- Okay..so, you all would never leave me, would you?” Betelgeuse began, “Like..you know what I mean. Abandon me or just..I don’t fucking know..” He seemed a lot quieter than usual and couldn’t even keep eye contact with any of them. Another silence fell upon the room.

“Beej..why would we ever do that? At this point, it’s like a kid asking their parents if they’d ever put them up for adoption or...I don’t know, a person asking the person they’re dating if they’d ever just break up with them for no reason!” Lydia explained, putting her hand on the demon’s back, who’s hair was now a deep purple. The Maitlands nodded and looked at eachother, feeling almost pity for the poor thing.

“Uh, yeah, you’re right, I’ll go back to bed now.” Betelgeuse quickly got up and began speed-walking out the door, before being grabbed by his shirt and pulled back.

“We aren’t done yet. We still don’t know what happened.” Barbara sat him down on the chair, to which he promptly stood back up. Barbara pushed him back down on the chair, with more force this time. Betelgeuse sat there fairly awkwardly, resting his head on his hand.

“What is this, a police interrogation?” He asked with a gruff and mumbly tone. Lydia stood up, took a flashlight and shone it in his face.

“No. It’s actually a kidnapping. Tell us all you know about what happened.” She shone the flashlight straight in his eyes, Betelgeuse not even flinching a bit.

“Yeah. We’re not letting you go!” Adam laughed and took another chair for himself.

“Ooh, kinky.” Betelgeuse looked at Adam, who just rolled his eyes, still smiling.

“Whatever you say, bucko.” Adam replied, to Betelgeuse’s surprise.

Barbara raised her eyebrows at Betelgeuse before taking the flashlight and shone it straight in his eyes. She noticed he didn’t seem to care so she gave up and gave it back to Lydia. She tried to think of reasons why Betelgeuse would be acting out all of a sudden. I mean, now he seemed like his usual self but before that. His ‘quiet and nervous-ish’ side, which he apparently had.

“Seriously, though, what happened?” She asked, leaning on the chair Adam was sitting on, “Why did you ask that?”

“It doesn’t matter. You guys should go back to bed.” Betelgeuse looked away again, raising his shoulders slightly, “I’ll go too...”

Why did this demon have to be so stubborn? Was he that protective of his pride that he couldn’t even talk about his feelings? Well, getting into the specifics, that is.

“Did you have a nightmare?” Adam finally asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I- Adam, I’m not scared of anything. Why would I have nightmares?” Betelgeuse looked disappointed, like how a mother would look at a child when their report card turns out to be shit. The ‘I-thought-you-were-better-than-this’ look.

“You sure do seem to be terrified of being abandoned.” Lydia muttered, playing with the flashlight.

“Well, maybe I am, maybe I’m not.” He shrugged, smirking. The smirk slowly went down once he realised how obvious it was that, yes, he was terrified of being abandoned, “Maybe I am..”

“Well, what was your nightmare about? Did we abandon you or something?” Barbara asked, standing closer to Betelgeuse now.

“Look, I- Do we have to talk about this now?!” He raised his voice slightly, thank god/satan Charles was a heavy sleeper. He sat in silence for a little bit, everyone else around him talking, or at least trying to. The longer he thought about what had happened, the worse it got. He went from lightly picking at his nails to fully biting them and from feeling fairly uncomfortable to tears welling up in his eyes.

“It’s just that I-” He mumbled, his voice breaking, which only pissed him off more. He usually only cried to other people when something big was happening. Not now. It was just a dream. It wasn’t real. Nothing like that would ever happen. Never.

“Beej?- Are you okay?” Lydia looked slightly concerned at the state of him. Betelgeuse looked up at her, his face red and hands shaking. He tried talking but nothing came out. The three quickly tried calming him as frantically as they could. But he couldn’t hear. He didn’t hear. All he heard was her. Her shouts and screams, hurting the people he loved and cared for all because of a dumb mistake he made. It was his fault. It was always his fault. Any fuckup she made or even anyone made, it was always him. He was always trailed back to it somehow, in some way. He was probably a fuckup in itself, it’s not like she ever cared of what he thought about or had to say. She deserved to die. She’s never coming back.

His thoughts were interrupted all of a sudden.

“Betelgeuse, we’d never leave you! None of us would, we promise. You’re part of the family now. We can’t just...leave you.” Lydia explained, tilting her head slightly.

Betelgeuse looked at her as if he didn’t believe a word she’d said, but accepted it anyway. It’s what he’d like to believe, too. He quickly stood up and hugged Lydia, something the two hadn’t done in a while. It lasted for over a minute, the Maitlands slowly joining in too.

“Thank you, guys...I just think-” Betelgeuse was interrupted, yet again, by Lydia.

“Nope! Don’t wanna hear it! Anything negative you have to say right now, just- No!” She held everyone tighter, smiling.

Betelgeuse laughed and let go of them, though slightly hesitating to do so. He sat back down and wiped his face, sighing shakily. The room was silent for a while, as if to process what had just went on.

“Really though. Thank you. It sounds cheesy because it is and I hate saying this kind of shit as you hate hearing it but I just..I don’t know. Forget it.” His talking slowly turned to mumbling and rambling. He wasn’t good at showing he cared for someone, “I..really don’t deserve you all.”

•

healdjksjf sorry if this isn’t good!! i’m writing this late at night because i completely forgot to check my inbox until now at like 2am like a dumbass,,,

if i made any grammar mistakes or the writing is just bad i’ll probably re read and rewrite some of it in the morning when i can, so if i did make any mistakes just wait a bit and they’ll be fixed soon!!!

i actually really had a lot of fun writing this! it was kinda difficult to keep beej in character throughout the whole thing, but in the end i think i did at least a little decently, right? i don’t know. you be the judge

thank you so much for always sending me asks when i make posts about it, i really appreciate it!

[k-popscenxrios]

Didn’t Ask For This Part 15 (Roommate!JK x OC)

A/N: I am so tired, so sorry if there are a lot of grammar mistakes. I’m falling asleep while making this post! ^^; This is not the final part for those who might think that after reading. This would be such a lame way to end the story. I’ve got plans for (at least) two parts after this one!

Summary: “I didn’t know you hated me so much,” he spoke as he grabbed my wrist and once again turned me around to face him, “and quite honestly, I don’t think I’ve done anything horrible enough for you to hate me to the degree that you do.” “You say that like the hate isn’t mutual,” I remarked as he shook his head. There was a bitter smile on his face as he took a deep breath, “I think you are quite honestly one of the worst human beings I’ve had to come in contact with.”

5k words | drama/angst ✞ | fluff ♡ | mature themes ✗

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | Finale

⇨ Masterlist ⇦

*Third Person POV*

The drive to the apartment was pure torture as Jungkook tried multiple times to get a hold of Ari yet again. She didn’t pick up any of his calls as he sighed and shook his head. He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to calm his shaking hands. How the hell could he handle this stressful conversation knowing that RaeAri is mad at him?

He took a deep breath and tried to call her yet again, but she was adamant about not answering him. He felt nothing short of terrified of having this conversation with Taehyung. He always assumed that if he were present for the reveal of their relationship, RaeAri would also be there.

Nothing could prepare him to go into this alone.

As he pulled into the parking lot, his blood began to run cold. He sent several apology texts to Ari while he was still sitting in his car, trying to do anything he could to avoid having to go inside.

It wasn’t long before Jungkook finally made his way into the building and up the stairs, taking his time with each step. Every stair he climbed, the more deafening his thoughts were. Why was he having to go into this alone? Why was the universe this cruel to him?

The door finally came into sight as Jungkook felt his heart drop to his feet. What was he even supposed to say? He doesn’t know what Taehyung knows and doesn’t know. For all he knows, Soomin may have just simply said that something is going on between Jungkook and RaeAri that they aren’t telling him.

Jungkook tried to talk himself into going up the last little bit of stairs to walk into the apartment, but he just… couldn’t. He had unknowingly rooted his feet to the floor. With a nervous swallow and a death grip on the handrail, Jungkook forced himself up the stairs.

Maybe he was being really dramatic about this, but he couldn’t help it. Everything was riding on this line; his friendship, his relationship, his housing… He didn’t know where he would even go if Taehyung kicked him out…

And not to mention that RaeAri is mad at him, and that thought refuses to leave his mind.

He finally stood face to face with the door as his shaking hand reached out to unlock it. There was no going back now.

He slowly opened the door, slightly jumping when his eyes met with Taehyung’s furious ones. So he had to know more than Jungkook hoped he would. With the death glare Taehyung’s giving him, there was no doubt that he knew a little too much.

Jungkook let the door close behind him as Taehyung stood up from his seat on the couch. The living room was deafeningly silent since the TV was off, and the air was filled with tension. Jungkook still didn’t know what he should say, but Taehyung seemed to be waiting for Jungkook to speak.

“Wh-What do you know?” he found himself cringing as the words left his mouth. That was not the right thing to say. Taehyung’s angry eyes flared up even more as he charged toward his friend, readying a punch. Jungkook braced for the contact, but when it collided with his face, it still hurt like crazy.

He winced, trying to hold all his words in. This conversation was very important, and he couldn’t snap at Taehyung for anything. He couldn’t afford to make his friend any angrier.

“You slept with my sister, you bastard,” Taehyung’s voice was filled with pure rage as Jungkook felt his stomach drop for the nth time today. Did Soomin only tell him about them sleeping together? She didn’t mention the fact that he’s hopelessly in love with her?

“T-Taehyung, you don’t know the full story,” Jungkook tried to defend, but Taehyung wasn’t really up for listening.

“What more is there to hear? You told me ten million times that nothing was going to happen. You told me that you wouldn’t make any moves on her. Tell me, is she only in love with you because you two slept together? Did you put her under some spell like you did Soomin?” Taehyung readied another punch as Jungkook found himself cowering, still not having recovered from the first punch to the cheekbone.

The contact hit his stomach this time as Jungkook gritted his teeth, trying to bare the pain the best he could. He took several seconds to get his breath back as Taehyung just stood and watched his doubled over form.

Once Jungkook was able to properly breathe again, he spoke the only words that he thought might help his situation.

“I’m in love with Ari.”

His voice was incredibly weak from being punched as hard as he was, but the emotion was still there. It wasn’t a half hearted confession; it was a raw and honest one. His voice broke from the mix of emotions he was feeling as he finally gave in to his overwhelming emotions. His hard and cool exterior was officially shattered as he dropped to the floor and let all his tears fall.

He didn’t cry often. The only times he’s cried in recent memory were either when he was drunk or when he went to his cousin’s funeral three years ago. He had stuck to his harsh and unbreakable exterior for so long that he had almost forgotten what it was like to cry.

Meeting RaeAri was quick to change him. She cried over him all the time, and every time he saw it, he felt like crying, himself. He’d only allowed her to see him cry a few times, but he was done playing tough. He wasn’t fooling anyone with it at this point.

RaeAri has made him remember that he’s more than a cold-hearted, arrogant asshole. He does have a heart, and it’s a very fragile one, at that. He never thought he’d be broken so easily by someone, but he would never take any of it back.

“How fucking pathetic,” Taehyung spat, “Don’t lie like that just to keep me from beating your ass.”

Jungkook looked up at his friend as he felt their closeness fading. They had been friends for so long, and just the thought of losing him made Jungkook lose it.

It didn’t take long for Taehyung to notice that Jungkook wasn’t just crying, he was sobbing on the floor beneath him. He struggled to keep a harsh expression on his face, but seeing his best friend drowning in tears was getting to him.

He’d never seen Jungkook look so broken…

“I am so h-helplessly in love with Ari,” Jungkook repeated through his sobs, hiding his face in his arm as he took several breaths to try and calm his pathetic sobbing. He looked like a complete mess, and Taehyung was finally able to see reason through his rage.

“That just doesn’t make any sense, Jeon,” Taehyung shook his head, but Jungkook’s mood didn’t shift. He watched Jungkook’s shaking hand as he took his phone out of his pocket, checking to see if he’d gotten anything from RaeAri.

Nothing.

His throat closed up as he dropped his phone to the floor and tried to wipe away his never ending tears, “She’s so mad at me that she won’t talk to me. I screwed everything up, and I can’t take anything back to fix it.”

Taehyung swallowed and found himself lowering to the ground in front of Jungkook. He took a deep breath as he felt emotions trying to get a hold of him. He’d only seen Jungkook cry a handful of times, and he knew to not take this lightly.

This situation was so much deeper than Taehyung realized.

“Kook,” Taehyung spoke softly as Jungkook took a deep, unsteady breath, “Why is she so mad at you?”

It took Jungkook several seconds to calm down to form coherent words, “I told Soomin too much, but she was pissing me off… I was trying to tell her that I fell for RaeAri, but she laughed it off. She started insulting her and was laughing at the prospect of me loving her.”

Taehyung stayed quiet as Jungkook wiped his tears, relieved to see that his tears were lessening. Seeing Jungkook so pitiful was not a sight that Taehyung wanted to get used to.

“I angrily confessed that I slept with RaeAri because I love her, and once the words came out of my mouth, Soomin still didn’t believe me. She tried to text you to confirm what I said, but… I told her that we hadn’t gotten around to telling you. I gave her all the ammo she needed to ruin us, and Ari is super upset with me over it.”

Taehyung stayed silent as Jungkook swallowed, running both hands through his hair and slightly pulling at the roots, “When I drove to see Ari at work to apologize for hurting her with the whole Soomin situation, she told me that she was ready to tell you about us. I was unsure, but she told me that she thought you would be happy for us once you got used to seeing us together… She was finally ready to tell you and I just had to fuck everything up for her.”

Jungkook could tell that Taehyung’s anger wasn’t completely gone, but his eyes were mostly soft. He seemed to be taking all the information very well…

“I-I got a call from you and came straight over without saying anything to Ari about it. She ended up calling me, and I finally had the balls to tell her that I spilled everything to Soomin. I don’t even know how to begin apologizing to her…” Jungkook got a little choked up as he tried to get out his next words.

“I’m literally the worst, but I would do anything to be a better person if it meant Ari stayed by my side. I love her so damn much, Taehyung. I really… really do.”

Taehyung took a deep breath as he felt a chill run throughout his own body. He felt Jungkook’s sincerity in his words, and his guilt started to increase very quickly when he looked at the swelling on Jungkook’s cheek. He swallowed and stood up, holding his hand out to his friend.

“Let’s get some ice on that, man,” Taehyung spoke softly, “And don’t worry. I…”

Taehyung stopped as Jungkook’s hand grabbed onto Taehyung’s.

“I’m sure she won’t stay upset at you for long.”

::

My shift dragged on all day long as I felt myself wanting to pull my hair out. I had ranted to Jimin and Chaeyoung about everything all night, and they mostly stayed quiet while listening. Chaeyoung was obviously very upset over the whole ordeal, even going as far to call both Soomin and Jungkook ‘perfect for each other’.

I know that she didn’t mean it completely, but I couldn’t help but get sick over that thought. Just thinking about the two of them dating made me feel horrible. I might be mad at him, especially since I hadn’t heard from Taehyung all night about the situation, but I hated picturing me without him by my side.

I took several bathroom trips that night to try and calm down my slight panic attacks over how things were going with Jungkook and Taehyung. For all I knew, Jungkook was packing to move out already. I sure as hell wasn’t ready for that.

“If you haven’t heard from them, then maybe everything is okay,” Chaeyoung proposed as the three of us walked out to our cars.

“Especially since you haven’t gotten anymore apology texts from Jungkook. Things seem like they’re all okay,” Jimin nodded as I took a deep breath and wrapped my arms around myself.

“I hope to God that you’re both right.” I nodded, unlocking my car once we got close enough, “I’m getting out of here. Sorry to leave so quickly.”

“Get outta here, Ari,” Chaeyoung laughed and waved me off, “Text me to tell me how it goes! Otherwise I’ll worry for you until I work with you again!”

I smiled and let a soft laugh out despite all the dread in my stomach, “Alright. I’ll keep you updated.”

We all parted ways as I finally stepped into my car, resting my forehead on the steering wheel and closing my eyes. I wasn’t ready to go home… I was dying to call Jungkook, but I was still really pissed at him for this. It’s all his fault that any of this drama happened today…

I didn’t even know if I was going to stay mad at him when I get home, but judging from how much I miss him, I’ll probably forgive him the second our eyes meet again.

That man has me wrapped around his finger.

…

I took a deep breath as I walked up to the door of the apartment. The hallway was deafeningly silent as I swallowed, pulling my hair out of its increasingly uncomfortable ponytail. I sighed in relief at the feeling of my hair falling lose, only to come back to the reality of the stress in front of me.

Without another moment's hesitation, I pushed my key into the lock of the door, unlocking it as quietly as possible.

There was no way that they weren’t waiting for me to come home since they knew what time I got off today, but I tried to be discrete anyway.

I pushed the door open slowly, and as I expected, Jungkook was sitting on the couch. The confusing part was that Taehyung was nowhere to be seen. I felt confusion fill my features as Jungkook’s eyes were quick to lock onto mine. He stood up and started walking over to me as I let the door shut behind me. I looked to the dining table, and Taehyung wasn’t there, either.

“Ari,” Jungkook whispered as I looked back over at him. The softness in his voice melted my heart as I stood right in front of him. I noticed some swelling in his face as I looked at his cheek. He had a little bit of a black eye, but most of the swelling was on his right cheekbone.

So Taehyung was definitely here at one point…

“I’m so damn sorry,” Jungkook spoke again, his voice still soft and somber. I felt my heart breaking as I sighed and quickly gave in to him. Why’d he have to look so pitiful? He’s never looked so broken in the time I’ve known him. I don’t think he even looked this sad when Jennie broke up with him in high school, but then again, I hardly knew him back then.

“It’s okay, Jungkook,” I nodded calmly as Jungkook sighed and leaned his forehead against mine. I felt my breath being knocked out of me as I looked up at him, seeing his eyes close as he leaned into me. His arms slowly trailed around my waist as I moved my hands to his shoulders.

I was about to open my mouth to ask about Taehyung, but my voice stopped in my throat as I saw a tear fall from Jungkook’s eyes. Panic immediately filled me as I started over analyzing things. Was he saying goodbye to me? Was Taehyung kicking him out?

Was it over between us?

I reached up and wiped his tears as my own started building up. I felt my hands start to shake from anxiety of the unknown, and Jungkook’s tears were making me even more paranoid.

“What’s wrong? It’s okay, I forgive you Jungkook. You have nothing to c-cry for,” I tried to stay calm, but I wasn’t doing a very good job. I couldn’t let go of him. Just the thought of never seeing him again terrified me.

It was scary enough to know that the summer was eventually going to end, but to think that it might end with me never seeing Jungkook again…? I felt nauseous over it.

“I-I just… I wanted everything to go well with Taehyung… I wanted the two of us to tell him together…” he spoke, keeping his eyes closed as he squeezed me to him.

“W-Well, where is Taehyung?” I asked, finally having the courage to ask the question that I wanted to ask the second I walked in.

Jungkook stayed silent as I felt my worries grow more and more. Why wasn’t he answering me?! It was killing me!

“I love you, Jungkook,” I whispered, trying to get him to open his eyes. I placed his face in my hands, careful to not irritate the bruise on his cheek, “Please, tell me where Taehyung is. If there’s anything that I need to fix, I’ll fix it, okay? I’ll fix it, so please stop crying, Kookie…”

He took a deep breath at my words, finally opening his eyes to look at me. I moved my hands to his shoulders as I violently grabbed at the material. He swallowed and his eyes left mine to trail down the hallway. I let my eyes follow his as I spotted a very familiar figure in the hall.

“Taehyung’s here.”

Jungkook allowed me to pull away from him as I stood still, looking in the eyes of my brother. He looked very calm, but also very worried. I took a deep breath and walked down the hallway towards him. He moved in my direction as well, stopping right in front of me.

“Tae,” I furrowed my eyebrows, slowly hating the look he was giving me. It made me nervous and feel so pitiful standing next to him. He was keeping me on edge with his silence as I took a deep breath to keep calm.

“I-I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you, myself. I really wanted to be the one to tell you…” I started off my apology as I noticed the smallest, slightest smile appear on his face. I swallowed, trying not to get any hopes up about how this was going to go.

“I… you have no idea how badly I wish this didn’t happen between the two of you,” Taehyung spoke honestly, but I didn’t flinch. In a way, I didn’t completely disagree with him. Life would have been so much less complicated if I had fallen for Hoseok. He could have given me the relationship that I thought I always wanted.

But that didn’t happen, and I wouldn’t change it for all the money in the world. I love the unpredictability of Jungkook and his actions. I love his stupid snarky comments that he obviously doesn’t mean, and I love the way he riles me up. I love how in the span of just a couple weeks, I was able to take some closed off jerk like Jungkook and open him up. I was able to look deep inside who he really is. I love him, and I don’t want to picture my life with anyone else.

I wanted Taehyung to understand just how hard I’ve fallen for Jungkook. Not asshole Jungkook, but real and raw Jungkook.

“But,” Taehyung’s voice cut off my thoughts as I put my focus back on him, “I’ve never seen you look so… happy, Ari… disregarding today, of course. Even if I wanted to, I could never rip you two apart.”

I felt my eyes widen as my brain slowly processed the true weight of his words. He was going to accept this? He’s not going to force Jungkook out of my life?

“I don’t know how I’m going to handle this relationship, honestly. If you two could keep the lovey dovey PDA out of my sight for a while, I would really appreciate-”

He cut himself off as I jumped on him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and hugging him tight against me. I felt tears of relief falling into the material of his shirt as he wrapped his arms around me to return the hug.

“I love you, Tae,” I laughed through the tears as he buried his nose in my hair.

“I love you, too, Ari.”

The silence was comfortable as I just stayed in Taehyung’s arms for a little while longer. I never imagined that Taehyung would accept the two of us so quickly. I thought we’d have to go through weeks of an angry Taehyung who tried to avoid us at all costs. I assumed that he would attempt splitting the two of us apart before we grew even more attached to each other.

Taehyung had always been very critical of who he let be around me. He didn’t like any of my male friends in high school, and he made sure that I knew, as well as all my male friends. They didn’t dare come too close to me after being threatened by someone like Taehyung. He was usually a laid back big brother, but he didn’t just sit back and let me date whoever I wanted.

I used to resent him for cock-blocking me for so long. He could be such a terrible brother to me, and I used to swear that I was going to hate him for the rest of our lives over the smallest things.

But the brother I was holding to me was a more relaxed version of his high school self. He’s grown to trust me, and it made me feel like I was finally doing something right in his eyes. His fast acceptance also made me become increasingly curious about what happened when I was at work. Taehyung was obviously furious enough to give Jungkook a harsh punch to the face…

The two of us pulled away as I looked up at my older brother with a soft smile. I wiped my tears away and swallowed, a giggle nearly coming out of my mouth from my next words.

“Wanna play Wii Sports?”

I could sense the confusion from both Taehyung and Jungkook as I spun around to get the Wii ready for us to play. The two guys just stood next to each other and watched me as I looked over at the two of them. I bit back a smile as I turned the TV on, walking over to the couch.

“Wii Sports?” Taehyung sounded so confused as I just smiled and nodded.

“I’m sick of how depressing this room feels. Let’s do something to try and take our minds off of it.”

Jungkook snickered at my justification as he grabbed a controller without another thought, “Alright. I’d love a good distraction.”

Taehyung just continue to watch us carefully as I grabbed the third controller and held it out to him. He looked at it for a couple seconds before a sigh left his mouth and a smile appeared on his face.

“Fine, you got me,” he grabbed the controller as I took a deep breath and looked between the two men. Taehyung was already focused on starting a game of tennis as Jungkook lightly protested, saying that it wouldn’t be fun to play tennis with three people.

“What do you mean it won’t be fun? I’m going to play both and front and back positions and I’m still going to beat you and Ari’s team.”

I watched Jungkook as he rolled his eyes as I felt my heart swell. I could still see his puffy redness from the tears he had just been crying, but his mood had already brightened significantly. I knew that not all of our problems were solved in this situation, but it was nice to know that despite everything, we could all still be comfortable around each other.

“Bring it on, Tae,” I spoke as he glanced my way with a soft smile. I looked away from him and back at the TV as we started the game of tennis. Needless to say, Taehyung won very easily against the two of us.

“I call bullshit,” Jungkook mumbled, sour about losing against a man playing two characters against two real people. How did he manage to blow them out of the water?

“I’m not a tennis pro for no reason,” Taehyung winked to his miffed friend as I bit my lip. If moments like this were what I had to look forward to in the future, everything was going to be okay. Even if they’ll be gone after the summer ends, another summer will come next year. I doubt that Jungkook would refuse to stay with me over the summer again.

“You know,” I spoke out loud in the middle of our bowling match. Taehyung was trying to keep up with Jungkook and I, but he didn’t truly have a chance to win. “I want to go bowling again with everyone. Bowling in real life is fun despite how horribly I suck.”

Both guys laughed as Jungkook nodded. Taehyung turned to me and slightly bounced the couch with excitement. “Sounds like a plan to me.”

I smiled and nodded, pulling my phone out to pull up my calendar. Taehyung zoned out for a minute as it was his turn to bowl. Ouch, he got a spilt that’s nearly impossible to redeem.

I paused from looking at my calendar as my eyes locked onto Jungkook’s. I hadn’t looked his direction too much since earlier when he had broken down and cried. I felt relief wash over me with his smile comforting me from afar. I loved that man too much for my own good…

“I’ll be right back, Taehyung spoke after finishing his frame off, only having hit one of the split pins. I didn’t ask where he was running off to, and Jungkook didn’t, either.

The second he left the room, Jungkook hopped from the smaller couch to sit next to me on the bigger couch. He was sitting where Taehyung was only seconds ago, and I felt myself moving closer to him.

“How’d you do it?” I asked him as he raised his eyebrows. I ran my fingers through his hair to relax him as he sighed and leaned into my touch. He turned his body towards mine, softly guiding me to sit in his lap.

I felt my face heat up at the foreign feeling. I’d never sat in Jungkook’s lap before, but feeling how close we were made me quickly realize how much I loved this feeling.

“I just told him about how much I love you,” Jungkook spoke softly, his breath brushing against my lips. I felt a shiver run through my body as he opened his eyes, staring deep into mine. “Eventually, he realized just how badly I need you in my life.”

I felt my heartbeat increase at his words, and I buried my other hand in his hair. I leaned forward to kiss him, surprised when he pulled back before our lips met. He was quick to lean in to my ear and give it some light kisses.

“You know, we never got to finish what we started at work,” he mumbled as my cheeks heated up, radiating heat from them because of how hot they were.

“Well it’s going to have to wait until Taehyung’s not home,” I spoke as Jungkook growled impatiently.

“The roof is still open for business,” he spoke as he pulled away from my ear to look into my eyes. This man looked like he was ready to devour me in one bite.

I was about to protest, but Jungkook’s lips stopped mine from forming any words. I quickly leaned into the kiss as it quickly turned into a hot and heavy kiss. His tongue waste no time infiltrating my mouth as I lowly mumbled into his mouth. He moved my legs to straddle him as I lightly gasped, feeling his arousal against me. He bit his lip and rolled his hips into mine as I leaned my forehead against his.

“God, why are you so irresistible?” I slightly glare, but it’s half hearted. “You’re too horny for your own good. No wonder you used to sleep around with girls all the time. You can’t keep your dick in your pants.”

Jungkook glared and grinded against me again as I found myself moaning into his ear.

“You wanna know where I want my dick to be?” he asked as I felt my face turn a permanent shade of red. He grabbed my chin and moved my face to be in front of his. His eyes were already undressing me as I let out a slight laugh. I moved against him as his face twisted in a way I wanted to see for the rest of my life.

“Just kiss me before Taehyung comes back, Kook.”

His hot mouth engulfed mine as he moved his hands to grab my ass and grind me against him. I sighed against his lips before going back in for another passionate kiss. His scent was swallowing me whole as I gave my every sense to focus on him. I memorized every touch, every kiss, and every moan as I pulled at Jungkook’s dark locks.

“I love you,” I moaned into his ear as his breathing became unsteady. His hands were under my shirt and cupping my breast over my bra when I said it, and his darkened eyes were quick to soften.

“I love you, too,” he snickered before slipping his hand behind my back. I felt my eyes widen as he started to attempt unhooking my bra. I opened my mouth to scold him when Jungkook and I both jumped at the sound of a door opening. We quickly scrambled away from each other as I threw Jungkook a blanket to hide his very obvious erection.

“You two didn’t bowl without me?” Taehyung asked as he walked into the room with a raised eyebrow. I tried to not look as embarrassed as I felt, but Taehyung was too intuitive for our own good. He studied me carefully before his face twisted in disgust.

“I was gone for less than five minutes! You guys are gross,” he scrunched his nose up as I just let a soft smile appear on my face.

I could definitely get used to life being like this.

::

A/N: I hope that this chapter wasn’t disappointing! For some reason I’m not as proud of it as I am other parts? Thanks for reading! I’m off to bed now! ^^;

⇨ Masterlist ⇦

[joonyverse]

The President - Baekhyun (EXO) (Part 6)

A/N: Hello! I’m back again with the 6th part of the series! Honestly, I had fun writing this part, and I hope you could enjoy this part as well? This part included a little disturbing scene (stated in warning) and I hope you guys don’t mind? ;-; anyway just like always! i hope you enjoy this part as well!

IM PREVIOUSLY SUPREXOMACIST

Summary: Being the youngest Minister is not easy, especially when it seems like the whole world is trying to go against you. Proving yourself is proven to be a difficult thing. But things had to get even more tangled when dark pasts are coming out, and truths are being unveiled

Genre: Drama, romance, fluff, angst

Warning: Age-gap (10 years), some curses, a little disturbing scene (Stalker & kidnap kind), bad english, grammar error, unedited

notes: yln = your last name, yfn = your full name

masterlist

Byun Baekhyun x Female Readers

If you’re uncomfortable with age-gap relationship, please just scroll through it

You can feel sweat trickling down your body, almost showering you with it. You can feel yourself thrashing around, and yet, you don’t see your body moving around. The illusion before you and the sensation you’re feeling is two different worlds. The illusion shows you walking, dangerously slow. And yet, you can feel your body thrashing around. Bewilderment and horror is the only emotion you can feel, the only sensation there. And yet, you somehow know you have a dangerously calm appearance. “Let me go” you whispered weakly. Somehow the energy is way too drained in you. “Please, let me go” you said, a little bit louder. You didn’t even know who you’re begging to. All you know was just you wanted to go.

Suddenly, someone appeared behind you. You can feel their tall figure towering over. And yet you can’t even move to check who was it. Whoever that is, you can feel it was a man.

“Scarlet Reapers” a deep voice said. “Don’t forget that”

“Your allegiance”

And just like that, you jolt up awake. Breaths heavy. You can’t help but pants. Eyes wide open. And just like you thought, you were drenched in sweat. Your flight or fight response were triggered. Paranoia was coming over you. You can’t help but look around. Your horror became more terrifying after you realized it wasn’t your room. You were in a bed yet it’s not yours.

“Let me out!” you screamed. You screamed for help, as loud as you can with all of the energy inside you. ‘Was it all not a dream? Was it real?’ you thought inside your head.

The door to the room was opened harshly. And came Baekhyun into your line of vision. Panic was visible in his face, concern was there too. His eyes frantically search for yours as he ran to you and sat on the bed beside you, engulfing you into a hug.

It’s a rare occasion. Where seeing Baekhyun makes you breathe in relief. The familiar face gives you a sense of comfort. A comfort that somehow felt way too familiar for you, and yet, you can’t pinpoint it. Weakly, you hug him back.

“It’s okay, I’m here, it’s all okay” he said in a gentle voice as he caresses your back, and tightening the hug.

“It was bad” you said. You can’t help but open up to him. You never trust anyone with your emotion, and yet, you have a feeling you can trust Baekhyun with it.

Baekhyun who had his face snug in your shoulder finally looked up and search for yours as he made you look him into his eyes. His eyes full of concern and yet comfort, it somehow feels like… home?

“Was it?” he whispered, loud enough for you to hear.

You can’t help but got lost in his eyes. You never realized how beautiful his eyes were. But now that they were staring right into you, you can’t help but stare. But then you realized he asked a question, and you gave him a weak nod.

He put a trail of hair behind your ear, wiping the sweats on your forehead with the sleeve of his shirt. “It’s okay, I’m here” he said as he comfort you.

“What happened?” you asked. “Where am I?” you added.

“Do you remember anything that happened before you passed out?” he asked.

You squint your eyes, a habit of yours when you tried to remember something. You remember something about reading Scarlet Reaper, when suddenly a wave of memories come to you, and yet you can’t remember it due to the overwhelming amount of it.

“I got overwhelmed by memories” you said, your voice quiet.

“Did you remember any of it?” Baekhyun asked carefully.

You shook your head. “No, it was too overwhelming, and seems like, my brain can’t handle it” you said a little solemnly. You now know that those memories are somehow a part in your life, an important one, and yet you can’t remember it, and it upsets you.

“It’s okay, take your time y/n” Baekhyun said comfortingly, as he caressed your back. He kissed your temple before he hugged you again. “It’s okay”

“Baekhyun, I know all of them are important memories that had happened in my life” you said. “And I know that somehow, you’re part of it” you added.

Hearing that, Baekhyun froze. And you can feel him tensing in your arms. “I’m not stupid, all of the comforts, and you, it’s all feel too familiar, and whatever it is, I’ll try my best to remember again, I know deep inside, that whoever you are, you were, or are an important person in my life” you said.

“So please, help me on remembering Baekhyun” you pleaded.

Baekhyun closed his eyes as he tightened the hug. It’s like he didn’t want to let you go. He closed his eyes, taking the very of you in, making sure that you’re very much real. “Of course I will, I will y/n” he said.

And there you were, in his kitchen. A warm milk in front of you. Baekhyun teased you of your childlike taste, for drinking warm milk for self comfort, but you knew he meant no harm. Which by the way, earned a scowl from you.

He told you that after you passed out, he needs to bring you to his place for safety measure, to not make anything suspicious. And he added that they had to act drunk, so people who weren’t in the team thought that you had too many. And you can’t help but shrieked, won’t it be scandalous if he brought you to his place instead of yours. He said that if you woke up in nightmares, which you did he was afraid that he won’t be there, and him staying at your place will just be more scandalous since you live in an apartment building not a house like his where it’s more private. And you understood what he meant.

You told him about your nightmares. The one that just happened and the one that happened when you were in the hospital. He nodded at that. He confirmed that it was real, he carefully confirm that not wanting to scare you off. It was scary and yet, Baekhyun’s presence comfort you, and truth be told, you were more scared of that rather than the fact you were once went through some horrible tragedy. The thought of being dependent on someone for comfort scared you. But you didn’t tell him about that of course.

As soon as you were home. It feels strange. Usually the comfort of your home is the only thing that keeps you grounded. But now with the new information you just earned, being home and alone makes you a little bit paranoid. And you don’t like that one bit. The thought of being dependent is just a big no to you.

“You get this” you said to yourself. Trying to comfort yourself. “It was the nightmare, and a little bit of past trauma, that’s just it, nothing will harm you here, it’s your home!” you rambled.

And yet, it feels like something will jump at you at the slightest chance they got. And the thought of it makes you shiver. You closed your eyes tightly. Frustration comes over you. “Whoever is in this house, an unwanted guest, please just come out wherever you are” you screamed. You were thankful to have the top floor penthouse all to yourself or else, a neighbor complain would be made.

Slowly you opened your eyes. Nothing happened. And yet you still have that lingering feeling. You wanted to take a shower and yet the thought of being naked and vulnerable just doesn’t feel right.

You sighed. You took your phone out and dialed a number.

“Mina,”

“Sign me up to martial arts class first thing in the morning”

You just really can’t sleep. All of the new information, the uneasiness, the feeling of not being in control, it’s all so overwhelming to you. You’ve change position in your bed several times, yet nothing change. Call it paranoia or anything, but the horror of being not in control of your body just like in your dream always flash right before your eyes every time you close them. It feels like as soon as you let yourself fall into the dreamland, you’ll woke up having only your conscience yet not the physic.

Your hands are itching to call the very person that you know could bring some comfort or a little bit of peace into you, and yet, you don’t want to. One, because your ego is too big and you don’t want to seem like a kid just waking up from nightmare except that maybe your nightmares were real, and two, he might be asleep and you know how tiring it could get when you are leading a country.

And yet, your action betrayed your heart. You found yourself reaching for the phone on your bedside table. Dialing the very number you knew you’re gonna regret in the morning. But you can’t help it. You were exhausted. From the moment you got back from the hospital, you haven’t had the chance to have proper rest. Your body is begging you to give it some rest. You can only sighed at that.

As soon as the other line pick up, the immediate you feel the regret.

“Hello?” Baekhyun said from the other line. Sleepiness was laced in his voice. You felt so bad. Knowing Baekhyun, he probably going to tease you about it non stop. Just because he was sweet that time, doesn’t mean he won’t tease you and make a fool out of you when he got the chance using your very weakness.

“y/n?” Baekhyun called again, waking you up from your trance. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“Uhm yes! I’m alright! It was accidental, I’m so sorry to woke you up, have a good night sir-“

“Is it about the nightmare?” he cut you off.

You fell silent. You can’t lie, you can’t bring yourself to. But here you are, blatantly lying. “Nope, absolutely no!” you said a little bit too enthusiastically than you’d like to. You mentally slapped your forehead. You knew very well Baekhyun could see through your lies. He was too observant as a person and you don’t think you like that.

“Okay, maybe it is because of that, but you know what? It’s childish, and it’s all in the past, and I know very well I’m pretty safe now, and-“

“Hey, it’s okay to be scared of it, it was a traumatic and scary event, I couldn’t blame you, I’d be shitting my pants if I were you” he said.

You chuckled. Of course he would. “You know what Baekhyun? Just go back to sleep, and I’ll go to sleep too” you said. For some reason, you had a smile on your face and you can’t erase it.

You then heard Baekhyun chuckled from the other line. You swore his chuckle sounds… adorable in your ears, but don’t tell anyone about that. “Good night, Lover” he said in a teasing tone.

You rolled your eyes. “Ugh, whatever sir” you said before hang up the call.

You sighed. You felt a little better and yet unsettled. You can’t help but fall into a deep thought. You remember screaming for the person who helped you to help your dad and yet, you can’t even remember your dad’s face. As long as you live, you only know that you live with your mother as her biggest disappointment, she said, and your dad left both of you since you were a child to marry another person. Clearly, that wasn’t the case.

You open your laptop. Deciding that the internet might answer your question. You didn’t know when was the incident happened, so obviously you can’t search for the date. So you search about bus incident, bus bombing, any incident that involved fire and bus. Not knowing the time, you got too lost into your research.

It’s been hours. Your eyes are burning, you were more than sure you had bags under your eyes, and your eyes were bloodshot red. You can feel another yawn come upon you. There were unsurprisingly so many bus incidents that involved fire. And searching for them one by one is exhausting.

Until an article took your interest. It was posted on a blog owned by someone with username called SheWhoDoJustice

“Terrorist Attack? Or A Psycho on the Loose?”

The article talked about several bus incidents, complete with photos from several scanned newspaper as it was from a long time ago. It was a pretty lengthy article, talking as detailed as possible, theories were made from concluding from the news the media reported and you think based on the owner’s own research.

A picture of a damaged bus though caught your attention. A pic that somehow rings a bell in you. And you had a feeling that the bus in the picture is the bus that was in your dream. On the bus was written “19104” on it. You thought it was probably the bus’ number.

You wrote down the details of the bus, the place where it occurred, and everything you need to dive deep into it, and then you bookmarked the site before you finally shut down your laptop.

Immediately, you dialed a number.

“Mina, I called in sick today”

You put on the simplest outfit. Outfits that doesn’t really caught anyone’s attention, so nothing flashy. Your watch on your wrist. A plain grey jacket hoodie with a white t-shirt inside it, a black colored cap, a black adidas legging, a pair of black nike air force one, and a small black backpack, enough to brought all of the things you need such as a bottle of water, some notes and pens, your wallet, phone, a power-bank, sunglasses, and some girls thing. You put on a light makeup and put your hair up. And then, you’re ready to go.

Not wanting to attract anyone’s attention, you wore the cap on. Because somewhere deep down inside, you knew if you didn’t wear one, some people would recognize you, and the thought of being on the internet could only cause shiver upon you remembering the last time you become a hot topic.

Calling in sick means you didn’t have neither Mina nor your chauffeur with you, not that you want to. Because for whatever mission you were on, you want to, or, you need to be alone. And thankfully, you went through the securities that was assigned to you just fine. And that makes you think that you really should tell them once you’ve done your thing.

You took the bus to the place you wrote down from the article. You chose the second row seat from the back near the window. As the bus took off, you enjoy the scenery that went before your eyes. It’s been so long since you can freely enjoy a scenery, something that you remind yourself you should do once it’s all over.

It took you around 2 hours bus ride to reach the destination. you gave the driver the money before you got off from the bus. Judging from the area, you discovered it was a rather countryside rather than a city.

You breathed in the fresh air. You realized that the fresh air came from how green the area was and the lack of motor transportation. The air was so fresh and it reminds you of some memory back when you were child and yet you can’t pinpoint what that is. But you paid it no mind, just wanting to enjoy the scenery for the time being.

You walked alongside the street, enjoying the fresh air and scenery for a short while. Before you finally remember why you came here again. Being here reminding you that you really need to take a vacation after you’re done.

Getting back on the mission, you start to ask around. Asking people, here and there about the town and the incident itself. Yet strangely, everyone seems to avoid the topic or avoid you when you brought up about it. You thought, perhaps they lost a a family member in the incident. So you tried to be as friendly as possible, in hope to gain their trust and make them let you in into the secret that this town held.

Back at the very capital of the country, where exactly is at your apartment. A panic Mina was seen pacing back and forth. Roughly opened the doors to every room of your apartment, screaming your name. The look of distressed was apparent in her eyes. She keep blinking the tears away, not wanting to break down now.

Her shaking hands reach down towards the phone in her pocket. Slowly bringing the device into her line of vision and dialing a number.

“S-sir?” she said into the phone, as her voice cracked.

“Miss y/l/n is not in her apartment”

Mina’s steps were quick as she walked into the president’s office. Her distressed could be felt by anyone who walk passed her. Her walk was unstable, contrast to her usually composed self. She opened the door to the office, revealing a seemingly distressed Baekhyun but she can’t really decipher it. Even if he was stressed, he definitely handling it better.

“Mina, you better have a good explanation to this” Baekhyun said, his voice dangerously low and intimidating. Different than his usual voice that oozing out his authority and dominant side.

“Sir, I really don’t. She called in sick, and I knew it was so different of her to called in sick because the y/n that I know is one stubborn ass that even in her deathbed, she would still chose work over her life” Mina explained. “So I came to her apartment, knowing something was weird, I saw her securities are all in place as it should be, and yet, she was nowhere to be seen in her apartment, I search all over the place, every nook of it, every gap, and she was… nowhere” she continued, feeling a little bit breathless.

Baekhyun fell into a deep thought. His phone continuously ringing yours and yet no answers. Every time it sent him to voicemail, he called again, and again. “Y/n… where could you be?” he mutters to himself.

Unbeknown to you, you were strolling around the area. Haven’t find out much. The thought of giving up seems so tempting, but you’ve come so far to giving up now. 2 hours long of bus ride was a pretty long ride, and it’s too early to give up.

And yet, for someone who seems so observant and quick witted, you didn’t caught the man in black outfits that continue to follow you through the dark.

After realizing where you could’ve been gone to, Baekhyun immediately ask his chauffeur and whoever he needs to do whatever they need to do to get reach of you. And yet at the same time, he didn’t want to alert the people of what’s going on. Knowing the panic it could create, and all of the questions that would come out afterwards, and every consequence. It was difficult, but it had to be done, and he put his everything to make it happened.

Because he knows. He know you could be in danger if he didn’t go to you immediately. He knows exactly the inevitable danger you could be facing on.

He only hopes they didn’t get hold of you yet. And he hopes, you were only gone to some fucking mall for all he cared, anything, but the place he thinks you were at.

A tap on shoulder caught you off guard. You immediately turn towards whoever tapped your back. Your eyes wide opened. The fear that somehow managed to put aside when you arrived, now making its come back in a very overwhelming way.

You couldn’t see the man’s eyes. He was covered in all black. He stands tall, towering over you, making you feel even smaller than you already had. He didn’t say anything. But if your intuition right, this man is just standing still looking at you. And if that doesn’t even make you feel creeped out more than you already are.

“Anything I can help you with?” you asked. Your voice was unstable, and you tried your best to hide the flaw in your voice, not wanting to let the man before you to detect the fear in you. But you knew you failed anyway. And yet the man stayed silent.

And suddenly, abruptly, he moved violently and covered your mouth with his glove covered hand, muffling your scream, his other arm was tightly wrapped around your smaller figure. He lifted you up, causing you to kicking the air, moving as many as you could, trying to let go of the man’s grasp. You keep screaming despite knowing no one will hear you anyway. The part of the area you were in was coincidentally quiet and almost empty. You gave up, letting your fate be chosen by the man.

“Y/n!” A voice shouted right at you. Your eyes shot open. You saw Baekhyun running right towards at you. Seeing him makes the fight in you come again. You thrashed around and screaming. You can feel the man tensing up. His composed composure was failing. You thrashed even harder, and you bite the man’s palm that covered your mouth. He let out a loud groan before he dropped you and run away.

Baekhyun immediately comes to your aid. He took you into his arms. Eyes frantically searching for yours. Look of relief, concern, fear, all were painted in his face.

“Y/n, are you okay? are you hurt anywhere?” he asked, eyes looking you up and down, searching for any wounds or bruises. But it all seems like a blur to you. All you can focus on is his very presence. Weakly, you put your arms around his neck. Pulling him in into an embrace. Your head comfortably snuggled into his shoulder, breathing him in. You can smell the cotton fragrance on him.

Baekhyun froze for a moment, feeling you embracing him. But he relaxed immediately, hugging you back tightly, and warmly. He closed his eyes, enjoying your presence just like you were with him He breathes in relief, knowing he was just in time. Thinking about the possibilities that could happened had he was a slight second late, makes him hug you even tighter than he already is, almost suffocating you in the process. And yet you enjoyed it. You enjoyed his warm embrace, knowing very well he keeps you grounded. He kissed your temple before he put his chin on top of your head as you snuggled into him.

“Let’s go home, yeah?”

[wiggly-blue-shite]

Chapter 4 The Bell Doesn’t Dismiss You (Tedgens)

The bell rings, meaning I'm late to first period. Shit. I knew I didn't have the time for breakfast. Yet here I am late for English. Well it's technically not my fault. There's train tracks that go through my route to school. I can't help when the trains come.

I run to the English building. I sprint up the stairs and into the classroom.

The whole class is staring at me, which is great. Just great. Charlotte smiles at me. I wave a little back at here.

"Nice of you to join us." Mr. V chuckles. Thank god he's a chill teacher.

"Sorry I got caught behind a train."

"No need for excuses. Take your seat." I go to my seat behind Charlotte. "We're doing quiet reading right now."

I rummage through my bag for my reading book. It's really good! It's about spies during the Cold War. It follows this guy named Curt who accidentally killed his friend. And I left it at home. Shit.

Well good thing the bookshelf is right behind me. I reach back and grab whichever book is closest. And that book is Hamlet. To read or not to read that is the question.

I should check up on Charlotte now that she's sitting right in front of me. I pull out a blank sheet of paper and write down "Hey how you holding up? :)". All the while pretending to read. I pass the note forward.

I can see her scribbling something down. I have to keep my eyes on the book though. Mr. V might be chill but I was already late, he'll be a disappointed if he knew I was also passing notes.

Charlotte passes the more back. "Better we can talk about it after class if you want." I put the note into my pocket and stare down at the book. I'm not smart enough to understand a word of this.

"Ok class. For the rest of the period we're going to be doing this grammar worksheet."

Well I don't have to "read" anymore! I slip the book back into the shelf.

The bell rings and I should head off to physics, but I have a few seconds to talk to Charlotte.

"So what happened?" I ask while putting my books in my bag.

"He cheated on me." Charlotte's voice chokes up slightly.

Again I wanted to add but that would hurt her. Talking bad about Sam hurts her as well. It's a minefield.

"I'm sorry Char." I can just offer a shoulder to cry on. She doesn't want or need my opinion.

"It's whatever." She wipes a tear from her face, "if I talk about more I will cry."

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want too. Just know I'm here." I put my hand on her shoulder and smile. She smiles sadly back.

"We can talk about it later." She walks away.

I need to get to class. I head down to my next class.

I don't really enjoy science but it's mostly just math so it's whatever. Bill's in this class so that's cool.

"Hey biiiill wassup!" I slap bill on the back and he recoils.

"Are you drunk?" He phrased it like it's an actual serious question. Bill is such a dork. He's the only one of us who doesn't drink.

"Yeah man I'm shwasted." I do my fake drunk voice. I'd like to see if he actually believes me.

"Dude What the fuck!" He actually does. I can't help but laugh my laugh off.

"I'm kidding. Wow who do you think I am?" Does he really think I'd get drunk before school.  Like I'm not smart but I'm not stupid.

"Ted take you seat." Mrs. Hughes coughs that bitchy way teachers do when they want to get your attention.

I sit down. Bill sits across the room from me so I can't talk to him. Today is especially boring. I have to fight off the urge to fall asleep.

I zone out.

The bell rings and Bill walks up to my desk.

"Whatcha thinkin about?"

I grab my things and head out the classroom with Bill.

"Nothing." I honestly don't remember.

"Sure. Not thinking about how Charlotte is back on the market." Bill wiggles his eyebrows.

"On the market for what 30 hours? Real classy bill." I pat his shoulder. He looks uncomfortable with himself. He's such a good person, it's hilarious. "I'm not interested in her."

I care about her yes. I used to have a crush on her, yes. I know now that she will never give up Sam. I have gotten over her. I don't want to get into drama.

"Yeah totally not interested." Bill tries to imitate me. Jesus Christ.

Paul jogs up to us. He looks a little hungover but he'll be fine.

"Hey guys!" He doesn't sound hungover, so that's good. He's his normal half assed preppy self.

We start walking in the general direction of our next classes. Bill asks some questions about the party to paul. He know I don't give a shit about those parties.

Oh what's that I spy? Emma and Henry! I didn't see Emma last night. I do know she was at the party because of her story.

"Hey Emma." Based off the time in Paul's voice, I'm guessing he more than just saw her last night. Those two are probably going to have a gross domestic conversation. So I redirect my attention to Henry.

Wow I didn't really get a good glimpse of his outfit. The ripped jeans and bright read makeup was not a look I was expecting from our little valedictorian. He looks good though. The red really brings out his lips. He looks really good.

"Your outfits rad." I wish I could pull off shit like that.

"Oh T-thanks!" He stutters a little. There's the brainiac I kind of know! "Hey Bill I didn't see you at the party last night."

Oh wow I forgot Bill was there for a second! Ha weird.

"Oh yeah I had to babysit my little sister." Of course he was babysitting. He makes bank off of babysitting too. It's ridiculous!

"You didn't miss much." I shrug, "just like every other Sam party this year."

It really is like all of them, crowded, loud, and terrible. I don't know why everyone insists they're great. Maybe cause of all the booze.

"Didn't you chug something. I seem to recall a crowd around you chanting chug."

I had nearly forgotten. That was interesting. Well none of them will ever find out how much that was watered down. Seriously I'm not stupid, I'm not going to chug a giant thing of pure alcohol. I watered that shit down.

"Jesus Christ ted." Bill's disappointed in me. He's known me all these years and still expects me to be a responsible person.

"You know the water polo team, they're relentless." It's always good to be on good terms with the other sports teams. The water polo captain is running for ASB president next year, so that's a good connection to have.

The bell rings. Henry walks off in the opposite direction of the rest of us. I catch one last glimpse of his outfit. Had he always been that tall?

[zlucchesi-blog]

Alphabet Narrative

A: This is a perfect place to start, not just because it is the beginning of the alphabet, but because the word that represents this letter is really where I began to read consistently. The letter “A” for me stands for “ARP” or “Accelerated Reading Program.” If you don’t know, this is a program for middle schoolers that requires them to read books and take tests and the harder the book is, the more points you get for each test. I was the champ at this. If you know me, you know that I am a very competitive guy. So competing for prizes against all my other classmates for ARP points was right up by alley. I won first place every year from the 5th to 8th grade. I loved reading at that time because I had a reason to read. Honestly, I do not know if it was not for ARP if I would have even opened a book during those years.

B: The letter “B” for me stands for bad habits. I have many bad habits in my life but this one is a big one. This bad habit is not just for literacy but for my whole life, but for this paper I will be talking about it just for literacy. My bad habit is procrastination. I just never want to sit down and read a book, write a paper, or read an online article that we may have a quiz on. That stuff just does not interest me to this day. I put it off until the very last minute. Sometimes, I just do not do it all together. If we are going to have a test or quiz over it, then I will do it either the night before or sometimes the morning of. If it is just an assignment though and no grade will come from it, I just will not do it. Procrastination is a bad habit for me, but maybe with the right teacher or guide, I can one day have interest and fix it.

C: College writing. It seems like a scary thing to me. Maybe, I just do not know what to expect or what I am getting myself into. High school writing was difficult for me at times, I can not imagine if college writing can be much harder than that. I have never been a good writer. My words do not string together well, I am not very good with grammar, and my ideas seem to drift. I hope college writing is not too bad. But if it is, I have plenty of experience with tough writing times from my past four years.

D: Deadlines always just seem to get me. I always fail to remember when they usually are. I will check my laptop at least four times before I fall asleep to make sure I turned everything I was supposed to in. Yet, I will always seem to forget one thing. I hate deadlines. They make me panic, nervous, and overall just super tense. I have gotten much better at making them. I use to be horrible. Deadlines are needed though to make sure people are held accountable for things. I just wish deadlines did not apply to me.

E: Essays are not my favorite in general, but this one instance was just awful. I call this my enormous english essay. I was assigned this in the 12th grade and it was a 10 page paper that we had a month to write. It was the worst. To top it off, we had to have a topic assigned to us by our teacher rather than pick our own. I can easily say that this was the hardest assignment I have ever had to attempt to do in my life. It really put a damper on the whole senior year.

F: Forgetfulness; This is a huge thing for me. This does not mean that I forget when stuff is due or deadlines to meet (even though I do). This means that when I am writing a paper I lose my train of thought so easily. I will have a great idea in my head and be ready to put it on paper and then it's just gone. I have no idea why this happens or what causes it to but it really does not help my already mediocre writing ability. I have a great memory with names, places, people, and memories so I really can't wrap my head around how this is different. I am not a fan of writing so maybe this is it just not liking me back.

G: One of the worst things that comes with reading in my opinion is getting books. First, buying books can get expensive. That stuff adds up quick and I wish I did but I do not have all the money in the world. Secondly, it is a hassle to do it. You either have to figure out and go through websites to purchase them or if it has to be hard copies, you have to drive and go to busy stores to do it. Overall it is just not a fun thing to have to do. The worst part is that I have had to do it for the past  9 years and it is definitely not for me.

H: Huck Finn; This was one of the best books I have read in my life but also one of the hardest books I have had to read. I read it in the 7th grade, which is a little young in my opinion to read that kind of book and understand it fully. I loved the book though, it had a great storyline and played out very well. I want to read it again now that I have some more years under my belt because I think I would appreciate it more. Twain is a great author but the only hard part was understanding the english in the novel. It was hard sometimes to grasp it but I made it through. Maybe I will put in the time again soon to learn some more about Huck and Jim.

I: In my head; I can never finish my papers like I want to. This is a big thing for me. I am always overthinking, and trying to fix these little things that I find in my writing that do not really matter. These makes me take longer and spend more time on my papers than I need or want too. I wish I could just sit down and knock out a paper in 30 minutes like some people can, but it just does not work like that for me. Something in my head just makes me think about simple stuff way to much. I just need to sit alone in my room, put my phone away, turn the tv off, and try and put my mind on what I am writing.

J: Joel McGraw. “The most known name to come out of Christian Brothers.” That name probably does not mean anything to the average person but it means a whole lot to me. This was my first highschool english teacher. He was the absolute best. He is a great man and a very good english teacher. I learned much from that dude its crazy. I hate english and it is usually not one of my best courses but he made it simple for the whole class. “Get out your notebooks,” he would say. We had to accomplish a 5 question quiz everyday and then would get straight to our daily work. I can still remember everyday walking in class and him saying “Lucchesi, good morning son.” I enjoyed each class very much which is not typical for me in english. I can honestly say that Joel McGraw changed the way I saw english.

K: Reading books just is not for me. I hate it. When I tell you that I would kill to be able to never read a book again in my life, it is the truth. I just do not see the point in reading. I guess you can say that it is to learn, or expand your vocabulary, or even to gain more knowledge. I just think you can do all those things not just by reading books. Books take a long time to read, sometimes you have to purchase them, and I do not have the patience to sit down and read. Overall I am just not a fan of books. Take it as you will, but to never read again would be right down my alley.

L: I have had many memories through the years about books and reading. I have already talked about some in my past passages. This may be my favorite of them all though just because of who and what it has to deal with. I would always keep this Memphis Tiger, blue, lamp on in my room when I was about ages 5 til 9. I would keep the light on past my bedtime and lay under the covers and read books all night, or at least attempt too. My mom would come in most nights, not even say a word, and just turn the lamp off. Night after night this would occur. I mean she can’t really get mad at me, I was doing something educational. That lamp brings back those memories of those long nights and I can look back and smile.

M: Magic Tree House; These were my favorite books when I was a little kid. I would stay up all night reading these books, read them during school, and go to the library to read them all the time as well. My mom would always take me up to the library right by my house and sit up there for hours while I read those books. I could knock out 2 or 3 in one sitting if I wanted too. All I remember from the books now is that it was some kids that would always go back in time and go on adventures with each other. I loved those books. If I had not read those books when I was little, I don’t know if I would have gotten into reading as much as I did.

N: Motivation is always something that is needed for me, especially when it came to reading and writing. This is not something new. I have never been able to sit down and just write and write. Usually the motivation that I have to do stuff like that is when they are due soon. That makes me rush and sit down and do what I have to do in order to make the grade. It is not the best way to go about things but it gets the job done. To this day I still have found not even one thing to make me want to write when I do not have to. I wish it was different but until then I guess I will just keep pushing the issue.

O- “Open Blanks.” I always need a lot of time to write. Like I said before, I always take a lot of time when I have a paper because my thoughts do not come out how I want. I always will type a little bit and then have a ton of open space and blanks where I do not know where to put stuff down. I hate this quality I have. It is like I have thoughts and want to express them in my paper and the next thing I know, I can not remember what I want to say. Eventually, I will figure something to write in these blanks, but it is never as good as I want it to be or starts out to be.

P: Poor writing has always been one of my strong suits. By strong suits, I mean I have always been a bad writer. I always get my work done when it is due but the writing sometimes is not always the best it should be. It is usually not very good when I am in a rush and pushing myself to make a deadline. Sometimes my writing is good though. If it is a topic that I am interested in and want to take the time to do something like that, then I will put effort into it. I really do need to change this way I go about writing though so that I can better myself.

Q: Quiet times; I need my peace and quiet for sure. Whether it is for writing or reading, or just when I am in a mood and having a bad day. Some days I just need to go in my room, lock the door, turn the lights off, and just lay there. Sometimes I am thinking about something and sometimes I am just laying there clueless. I love it though. If I am stressed over homework or need some time to get away from the world, I will do this. I have done it more times over papers that I have needed to write but I am too stressed to do so. The outcome is always the same though. Once I get my time in my room and my peace and quiet, I am sure to be better in the way I go about getting done what needs to get done.

R: Clifford the Big Red Dog was a staple in my childhood life. My mom started me out reading those books at a pretty young age. I loved them. Those were the first children's books I think that I read on my very own. My mom would sit with me in my room before I went to bed and just watch me. She would watch me read and read and I remember just looking up and seeing her smile so big at me. I loved those nights. I would beg her when it was time for bed to let me read one of those books. She would always say yes. I can honestly say Clifford the Dog made the childhood nights much better being able to read it with my mom.

S: Like I said before taking my time is a big thing for me in writing, but saving my progress is right up there with it. I have said how I can not focus for such long periods of time and just sit at a desk and write or type out a paper with ease. I have to do it in little intervals throughout a whole week or something. I am constantly having to save my drafts, take long breaks, and then I will eventually get back to writing. I do feel like the way I go about this does affect my writing in a better way. It gives me more time to think about what I want to say rather than just putting down random stuff on paper. Without saving my progress in my writing my thoughts and words would be all over the place.

T: Authors come and go with me. I would like some and want to just keep on reading their work all the time or I will have somewhere I just can not stand to read. One of them without a doubt is Mark Twain. Mark Twain is at the bottom of my list of authors to read. I just do not understand the way he writes in his novels. The language and vocabulary just do not sink right in my head when I am trying to read them. I have read two books by Twain and while they are good books because of the storylines, I can never appreciate them as much because of the way I read how Twain writes. Twain is one of the best authors of all time on many people's lists, but you will not find him very high on mine.

U: Ugly; Reading and Writing seemed to fit this adjective perfectly in my eyes. Something that just does not appeal to my eyes well and shows off no beauty whatsoever. Maybe I am biased but I just do not see the beauty that other people see in this literacy items. I have no fun doing them, they do not make me happy, and I would much rather do many other things than do them. This is what ugly usually means to me. I apologize to the people that do think literature and all that has so much beauty and awe. But this is my paper, I can write what I want, and say what I want to say. So I am going to say, yes, literature is ugly to me.

V: Visits to the library were always taken with my mom. They were fun do not get me wrong, but I would have rather gone to the playground or something. I guess because she reads so much that she thought maybe I would get into it. Wrong. Usually it would end up with her yelling at me for running around or messing around in the library and us leaving mad at each other. Books just were not my thing. I did not like being quiet and have to whisper somewhere. I was not like that. I liked running around and having fun and being loud. So the whole library scene and atmosphere was not my thing.

W: Wonder; Why do people read and write. I get it makes you smarter and you increase your knowledge and all that but I just do not get it. It seems like a waste of time to me. To sit in a room, open a book, read it for hours, and then that is it. You could be doing something so much more productive than that. Like working, helping someone else, or making yourself a better person. But instead you are wasting your time. All that comes from sitting in that room and reading that book is satisfaction. You get to figure out what happens at the end of the book and to judge whether you like that or not. Nothing else comes from reading a book by yourself. I just do not get it.

X: Big Red X’s; Throughout middle school and high school this was all that I seemed to see on my papers. They stood out so much to me. It was just telling me how I messed up, failed, was not good enough. But like I say time and time again throughout this narrative, reading and writing is just not my thing. These grades were just given so the teachers had their satisfaction of thinking that they had done their jobs. Which in reality, they had not done their job. Their job is to better each student in ways that relate to each one individually. These big red x’s on everyone’s papers just told us all that we failed. It was not the way to teach.

Y: Yes; Finally I was given a positive thing in my career of writing. My sophomore year I won an essay contest for my spanish essay that I had written. Each person in my honors spanish 3 class had to write an essay and submit it. Each essay would then go to an office in the country somewhere and be read by the judges. I was given a bronze prize for my essay and I was very happy about it. Spanish had always been very easy to me and I had a better understanding of it than most students but I never would have thought I would win an essay for it. I was just content and proud of myself that I had finally accomplished something good in the field of literature.

Z: Zachary Joseph Lucchesi; This is me. This is my narrative; I get that some of the stuff I said you will not agree with. Well good because I like to stir things up every now and then. But in all seriousness, I am just not a big literature guy. I do it when I have to and I barely make an effort while doing so. I liked this project though. My teacher did a good job by making us do this. It does feel kind of nice to put my thoughts on paper sometimes. Maybe one day I will never have to write a single paper again. One can only dream though. This is where it ends though. So hopefully this is 100 words but I will just add a few more to make sure, (I love english class very much and I hope this gets me to 100 words). See ya later.

[wolfpawn]

When Ghosts Come For Us

Chapter 35

NOTE This is based on the movie Crimson Peak, so if any of the subject matter in that was uncomfortable for you, you will find this similar. I will *NOT* be describing incest in this, it will only be implied, same as the movie.

As I have stated already, my laptop is broken at present so please excuse grammar mistakes and the lack of GIFs and pics.

Also, I do not own any image or gif used in this story.

HERE is the link to Chapter 1 on Ao3

Rating - Mature

Charlotte waited for Thomas to come into their room. She waited for the most of the afternoon, hoping he would cut the working day short so to find out if she and the baby were alright, as well as find out if he had a son or daughter. She had a time that she found herself falling into a light sleep, her body wanting rest to assist recovery after the birth, but for the majority of it, she waited. When darkness fell, she knew Thomas would have to come in, with no manner to continue working the mines at night, he did not stay out after dark, but there was no sign of him.

Come the time she usually found herself going to sleep normally, he still had not arrived to their room. She felt herself become concerned that something had happened him at the mines and gingerly attempted to get out of her bed to go see whether he had returned to the house for the evening at all. Blake, who had abandoned his own comfortable bed for the carpet under the cradle, watched her curiously. Slowly, she made her way to the doorway and sighed, scoffing to herself that birthing a child was less painful than she recalled her father's actions being. She opened the door and looked into the hallway, finding it empty. Looking to Lucille's room, she knew she would be due another injection. Worried for her little boy, she made her way to the room to check on her psychotic sister-in-law. Looking in, she noted the straps were still done fast and there was a blissful look on Lucille's face. She took the other woman's hand and pulled up her sleeve to see the red mark of a tourniquet and a fresh injection site on the inside of her arm, signifying that she had recently received a new dose. Considering Thomas was the only other to know such information in the house, she knew it had to have been him to perform the procedure. Frowning slightly, Charlotte put the sleeve down again.

“Lady Sharpe?” Charlotte turned to see Margaret looking at her with a tray in her arms. “I...Should you be out of bed, your Ladyship?”

“I doubt it. I just wanted to check on Lucille.” She smiled.

“Sir Sharpe was here not twenty minutes ago, should I get him?”

Charlotte brows furrowed more. “Where is he?”

“His workshop, your Ladyship.”

“No, do not bother him, if he is there at this hour, there is reason for it, leave him be.” She made her way to the door. “Is this for him?” She indicated to the tray of hot tea and food.

“Yes, Ma'am.”

Charlotte analysed the contents of the tray, knowing that such ensured that Thomas would not be coming to bed any time in the near future. Disheartened, she gave a slight smile. “Well, best to take it up to him then.” She encouraged.  

“Of course, your Ladyship.” Margaret curtsied and rushed about her business.

Disheartened by Thomas's lack of interest in checking on herself and the baby but relieved nothing occured in the mines, Charlotte made her way back to the bedroom. Blake sat alert and with a keen eye on the door next to cradle on her entering. She gave a sad smile. “I would wager you would like to meet your new master.” She stated as she made her way to the crib, looking at her beautiful son within, who was beginning to stir for his next meal. She took him out and cradled him to her, moving in a manner to show him to Blake who was incredibly curious as to the contents of the blankets being shown to him. He sniffed ardently at her arms until the baby gave a small cry, then he pulled back slightly and his head cocked to the side. Charlotte could not help the smile she had for his reaction, she ensured her son was safely cradled against her with one arm before rubbing Blake with her other hand.

“What in the…?” Charlotte winced as she looked around at Mrs Phillips. “Get into that bed, this instant.” She ushered Charlotte to the bed, taking the baby from her to allow her get in comfortably. “Duckie, you need to rest to recover.”

“Honestly, Mrs Phillips, I feel fine.” She assured, but the housekeeper was not willing to listen.

Mrs Phillips prattled on for a time as she helped Charlotte deal with the baby. When he fell asleep again, she placed him in the cradle and said her goodnight's, making a comment regarding Thomas and the baby's name before she left.

Charlotte waited, but Thomas did not return to their bedroom that night, even when it was three am and she woke to her still unnamed son's cries, there was no sign of her husband.  

*

The next day yielded the same results. Thomas did not come to the room at any stage of the day much to Charlotte's shock and upset.

At one stage she heard the sound of his shoes walking through the corridor and even cease moving for a moment before continuing to the stairwell. She bit her lips together and said nothing, merely looking at the cradle and her beautiful son within.

She became upset at him not having a name, so she thought of some herself. She had hoped Thomas would involve himself in the process, but with him refusing to even consider joining them, she was forced to think of some. The first, of course, was Thomas Jr, he was after all, the image of him father, so in that respect, it made sense. Also, she felt it would assist Thomas in wanting to spend time with with his son, and make the improved name of the Sharpe's stronger.

Then she began to think of others. She loved James, but that was not an option. She also liked William, but that was unacceptable also. She could not think of other names for a while. He did not look like a Matthew, and John did not seem apt either. George was more common these days, as was Henry but they did not seem to suit him. She could not decide. Michael was one she liked, but was not very common. Edward was not an option, because of her brother. She simply could not decide.

*

The sun was beginning to set on the third day after the baby's birth and again, as with the other days, Thomas did not grace the bedroom to check in his wife and child. In that time, Charlotte's heartache turned to anger. She made her way to her art room and looked out the window of it to the mines as she had done numerous times before. She could see Thomas, speaking with Carson, the foreman, he face was one of calm and almost jovial manner. The anger turned to rage.

Charlotte walked to the chest and opened it with the key around her neck. From it, she took a few pieces of paper of deeds and a sum of money before locking it again. After that, she changed from her bed clothes and into warm autumnal attire, then looked at her son. He remained unnamed and it's clear his father did not care enough to change that, so she would name him, when she had chance to. She dressed him warmly and took some extra blankets and other items he would require, placing him in his cradle before taking the items in a suitcase to the elevator.

“I...Duckie?” Mrs Phillips walked out of Lucille's room, where she and Margaret has been cleaning the other woman. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes, perfectly so.” Charlotte retorted. “Margaret, get Mr Parsons to ready the carriage.” She instructed.

Margaret looked at her employer for a moment before looking at Mrs Phillips who ventured to ask what they were both thinking. “The carriage, is someone going somewhere?”

“Yes, I am, so chop to it, I will not ask again.” She ordered, walking back into her room.

Margaret looked at the housekeeper worriedly, not sure what to do. “I think you had best do as you were requested, Maggie. I fear we are seeing a side to Lady Charlotte that is not often seen and dare I say it but she does not appear to be one to be trifled with.” Margaret looked to the bedroom door before rushing off to do as instructed. Mrs Phillips braved following Charlotte. “Lady Sharpe?” Her eyes widened when she realised the baby was readied also. “Lady Sharpe, I must advise against this. You and the child are supposed to be resting.”

“I cannot rest here. I cannot expect my son to do so either. I am bringing him away from this vile place.” She snapped. “Blake.” She did not need to call the dog, he was loyally at her side, ready to go wherever she and his new charge went. “I will suffer no more of this.”

“More of what, Ma'am?” But Mrs Phillips did not receive a reply. Charlotte walked past her and to the elevator, closing the door as best she could with her son in one arm, but soon enough, the elevator moved. Blake did not use it, but rushed down the stairs instead.

When she got to the lower floor, she was met by a baffled Mr Parsons. “Put that in the carriage.” She ordered.

For a moment, Mr Parsons thought himself to be hearing and seeing things. Charlotte Sharpe was a perpetually sweet and kind woman, not prone to fits of rudeness or temper, but at that moment, it felt like he was spoken to by a far different woman. Had he not seen her mouth move as she gave the order, he would have sworn it to be a different women that spoke. “Yes, Ma'am.” He bowed and did as ordered. After he did that, he opened the carriage door for her. “Where to, your Ladyship?”

“South. I will say when to rest.” She ordered. “Blake.” The dog jumped into the carriage.

“What of Sir Sharpe?” Charlotte turned to face Mrs Phillips. “What will we say to explain this?”

“I doubt explanation to be required, I doubt he will even notice, but should he, merely apologise on my behalf for taking his room from him these past few nights. Tell him I have rectified the issue and hope he rests easy tonight.” She stated before getting into the carriage and settling herself with her son in her arms. As Mr Parsons went to close the door, she stopped him. “Thank you, Anna, for everything. I cannot express my gratitude to you for all you have done for me.” She smiled before sitting back and giving the nod to Mr Parsons to close it.

The man and housekeeper looked worriedly between themselves at the words and actions of their employer before Mr Parsons mounted the front of the carriage and ordered the horses forward.

Thomas watched the carriage leave the house and make its way down the pathway with notable pace. At first, he thought it odd for Mrs Phillips or the new maid to leave so early in the evening, it was only starting to darken and considering the good weather if the evening, he could not understand why they would choose to bring the heavier two horse closed top carriage to the one horse trap carriage, but then he looked to the house and frowned. There the two women stood, looking worried. He rushed over to them. “Who was in the carriage?” He asked.

Margaret looked to Mrs Phillips who was uncertain as to how to answer him. “Lady Charlotte, Sir.”

Thomas's eyes widened. “Why? What has happened? Is she ill?”

“No, Sir.”

“Then what is happening?”

Mrs Phillips looked at him with uncertainty. “Lady Sharpe has left Allerdale Hall, with the child and Blake, Sir Sharpe, and I do not think she means to return.”

Thomas could not fully comprehend what was being said. “W...what?”

“She told me to tell you that you can sleep in your bed again, that she apologises for taking it from you these past few days and that she has rectified such with immediate effect.”

Thomas felt as though he had been stabbed in the stomach.

Tags-

@ilovekingt @lokiloveheart @lokilover9 @texmexdarling @sigridlaufeyson @whovianwookie86-captainxev @wolfsmom1

[veterveter]

Hey hey, it's gay bike anon again! I'm more than honoured to get my own tag!!! I definitely would like to keep talking to you <3 And only love for you too <3

I'll gladly wait for your response to my ask (or asks??? we'll see one day ehehehe)! I feel you, when people cite some of my text messages from a few months (or more) ago I'm often like "nope, nah-ah, that's not me, you're wrong". Same for older essays, I often can't believe I wrote those. And even with things I wrote late at night a few weeks ago, sometimes I'm like "I wrote that? That monstrosity??? Okay, I need more sleep before writing". (My capacity of writing in correct English grammar usually goes to sleep before I do, same goes for varied word choice). But sometimes I'll see this project I've worked on YEARS ago and exactly recognize the pieces I wrote? Since the ask would be fairly recent, I suppose I would recognise my writing style and word choice and since I didn't wrote it whilst sleep deprived (I hope??) I'm setting my chances of recognising it pretty high. But we'll see one day, the mystery will marinate for a while... [I am rereading this in the daytime, and this is EXACTLY what I meant, at night I make the weirdest word choices?? I’m definitely not changing it though because I might find it kinda funny]

I snorted so hard about the way you talked about your almost-name, I'm giggling here like crazy. Apparently my name means something alike 'dedicated to God', but my parents aren't really believers, so gotta love that. The meaning of my sibling's name is 'summer', but I'm the one born in the summer, whilst my sibling is born in autumn, oops. Guess my parents never checked one of those sites/ books where you can find the meaning of a name hahaha.

I love how my ask was so weird and chaotic that you sent a screenshot to a friend. I LOVE that she had no idea what was going on. Then again, I watched the semis (obviously hahaha) but I had no idea what was going on either... But honestly it was peak Dutch culture, water and bicycles, I would just add an ode to 'hagelslag' and voila, the entirety of Dutch culture summed up... [Also: if you don't know: 'hagelslag' is just sprinkles which we eat on bread, yes, on bread, we do not not only eat sprinkles as on cake or on donuts, like in any other country, no, we put it on bread. It's actually a really popular sandwich topping here. My ultimate favourites are the chocolate ones, but you also have them in several fruity flavours (like forest fruit) and anise flavour.] Thank you, perfect chaotic energy is an ultimate goal I strive towards *bows like I'm Victorian royalty or something*

You're absolutely right, it went EXACTLY like that. Specifically, I would be studying for my exams, explaining topics to myself like I always do, so I'd tell myself "The six possible origins of economies of scope are indivisibility, specialisation, marketing, research and development, GUESS WHAT.. SUBWAY DRIVER GANDÍA... ehhh... what was I doing again??" OR: "one of the most detailed and most used models of responsive regulation is Brathwaite's piramid. His enforcement piramid visually shows, nope not important, SUBWAY DRIVER GANDÍAAAAAA" And I'd laugh, continue explaining theories and calculations to myself until my focus started lessening again and my thoughts would wander off again. I am VERY glad I'm not the only one who thinks about it from time to time, and I'm glad you're not suing me for any mental harm yet.

Yess, those pictures I saw from Promising Young Woman look so beautiful and aesthetic!! I'll probably watch it somewhere after the 16th, because I'll most likely have finished my last exams by then. I'll tell you what I thought about it! Thank you SO SO SO much for all the luck wishes!!!! I had an exam last Friday and I absolutely rewarded myself, because it went better than I expected and I passed an earlier exam and a paper too! I didn't buy myself a tricorne (yet), but I did buy funko pops (my inner economist said it was 100% rational because it was a really good deal hahaha). I still have two exams to go, so I could always buy a tricorne for finishing either of those, OR. EVEN BETTER. I'll ask my parents (or my grandparents) for one for my birthday. I mean, that would be hilarious. They'd be so confused. They've never seen S3 and S4 of LCDP so they'll have no idea, even if I tried to explain it. It would be so incredibly funny (and really really weird for them), I am laughing like crazy just at the thought of it.

I've never been in Finland before, but those temperatures do not sound legal indeed. I have no knowledge of Finnish law, but maybe article 3 of the European Convention on Human Rights, the prohibition of torture, would work? If I was the judge I’d 100% agree, so we should all sue the weather sksksks. I'm glad to have brought you rain though (and that I apparently possess the power to do so - magic weather controlling pirate seems like a nice enough job to me)!!! I hope the temperature has become at least somewhat lower. You're right, climate change should just... stop... right away. The weather is pretty weird here, right now: one day it will be super sunny and (at least) around 27 degrees and almost melting away, and the other day it will be raining and I'll be wearing my warmest sweater. Like, why the extremes??

I love that I am able to make you lose your coherent thoughts (that's probably why we have one brain energy about Underwater, because I, too, have the ability to make myself lose my coherent thoughts). I'm glad for your faith in my impersonation of Martín. I even started Duolingo Spanish again, and now know the phrase, "Yo bebo leche" (I drink milk) which obviously would be very important to him. Now I'll just need an Argentinian accent to go with it. Leaning menacingly on a cane would be GREAT, I love the idea. I'll open job applications for a Denver. Maybe my cat could help me, she, much like Denver, is super loud and she is super aggressive towards other cats, so there is potential there. And guiding dogs and even tiny guiding horses exist, why not a guiding cat?

I always assumed I would follow a more... you know… legal... career path, maybe even literally a career in law. But, my accounting professor also showed us how to manipulate financial statements ("so you can notice when people are doing this", uh-huh sure, sure that’s why) and another professor of mine also said that a criminal career sometimes could be the more rational, rewarding choice over a legally acceptable career. So, I suppose I should not be surprised by this sudden change of career plans. I should have seen this coming. And what better way to be able to avoid the laws than by knowing exactly what they are and how far you can go. And if that plan doesn’t work out, the books of law I have (they’re combined in two huge hardcover bundles) are really heavy and you could probably harm someone with them if you hit hard enough… Well, I suppose you can even leave “hard” away, just by hitting someone softly with those books you can bring serious harm to them… Ah, and like that one professor would say: in this scenario it would be a rational choice to become a pirate instead of a privateer. Oh dear, not Arturito :/ Mutiny would seem like a good option, I’ll take over the ship and become Palermo the Pirate. Sounds much and much better than “Arturo the Pirate”, since that isn’t an alliteration, sooo mutiny is reasonable even for that reason. And then there’s the fact that it’s Arturo, I mean, that says enough.

YOU LOVE UNDERWATER TOO????!!!! I completely forgot that you posted that! It seems we do indeed already have one shared braincell energy my friend <3

Last week has been pretty good (except for having to make a test at 9:30, what a godless time, I’m usually barely awake by then ehehehe), I think I aced the test I had, got back some good grades and finally got my first Covid vaccination (and only shortly slight dizziness as a side effect, so that's pretty great). And thanks so much!!! For now I’m safe from Gandía, but somewhere in mid-July I’ll have to take an exam on campus, so I’ll might be able to bring out my inner Palermo then.

How was your week? If the weather is still unkind to you (well, also if the weather *is* kind to you), treat yourself to your favourite ice cream and a break every now and then <3 Do you already have holidays or hasn’t your academical year ended yet?

You’re also right - this is conversation and we’re friends now <3 And I absolutely do like cookies! I would say my favourites are american cookies (though stroopwafels are reaally good as well) but honestly there are only a few kinds of cookies that I don’t love that much. And anything with chocolate in it is GREAT. I do also love apples and bananas, though grapes (which I just had) are even better! What’s your favourite kind of cookie?

Also, I know I have been giving you so many prompts already, but I saw this one in that list you reblogged and it gave me so much Berlermo energy: you live in an apartment with your best friend. the two of you always fall asleep in each other's arms, but one day, your friend isn't there. they've fallen in love with someone else. it's your other best friend, who recently moved in with you. and that's when you realize, that those nights you spent together, weren't so platonic after all. I would love it if you’d write it, but if you decide not to that’s absolutely fine too, no worries <3

By the way, I was going to post this quite a bit earlier, but my laptop (unlike me) decided yesterday night, when I was finishing writing this, that it was time to sleep, so I had to quickly dump this whole rant in Google Docs (it’s almost two and a half pages what the heck) and I was busy all day so I only was able to upload it just now. I swear I can ractually espond faster than after a week :) Have a lovely evening, much love from the gay bike country <3

Heeeeeeey you are back!!! How happy am I to see my favouritest gay bike anon return to my inbox!!! 💕 [Author's note: You can tell I started this reply right away because you've sent me three or four asks since this one and one can tell you are indeed back hahaha]

Yeeeeeees this is how one makes friends!! You know, I was just thinking the other night of how "gay bike anon" shortens to GBA, like the Game Boy Advance, you know. Make of that what you will, but it pleases me to know that you can also have a cute nickname for your cute nickname. Nicknameception.

Yes, exactly that, "I did not write that, and if I did in fact write that.. No I did not." Also, "the mystery will marinate"??? That's an amazing word choice and some day I will absolutely use it for something, just you wait. I think it just goes to show that you should write everything while tired, haha.

Haha I love that naming convention for you. It may make very little sense, but....... but. Also, happy birthday for whenever it is, presumably in the nearby past or future!! Lots of love!! You're the summer child while your sibling is... a summer child, but like, different.

Since you appreciated my almost-name story, I'll reward you with the rest of it: so my name is Tuuli, which is Finnish for "wind". My mum originally wanted to name me Pilvi, which means "cloud". And then she was like oh no this child is not at all serene and cloud-like??? and thus, a new me. I'm glad she had second thoughts, although I wonder if having such an ill-fittingly chill name would've done anything to alter my personality? Nomen est omen and all. There's some kind of an alternate universe where all of that played out, but I'm glad it's not this one.

Yeah either you watched the semis and have no idea, or you didn't watch them and have no idea. There is no way to get what was going on there, I'm certain they themselves also didn't get it. I had no idea about hagelslag but thjipgnhefjpihjo that's amazing, I love that for you!!!! There was absolutely no reason to go there but you as a country just... did that. Amazing. Please have some and report to me so I can live through you. And also, you are absolutely legit Victorian royalty [or something] *bows in return*. Also, I do love how you say "I watched the semis (obviously)." Imagine if you didn't and this entire time I was tragically misinterpreting the nature and intentions of your ask and you were just rolling with it because you've no idea what I'm on about but are also too polite to tell me that. Khhhhhhh

Your brain has priorities!!!! And they're honestly beautiful. Well done, brain. Subway driver Gandíaaaaaaaaaa~~~ My brain is filled with Berlermo quotes that come @ me at random times during the day and leave me just a tad shell-shocked, remembering how it all went down. I'm eating my morning yoghurt and my brain goes yo te propuse fundir oro juntos, and I'm just there like :)))))) Real nice, brain.

Have you had the opportunity to see Promising Young Woman yet? Hhhhh it's so pretty, every time I work on this reply [it's a lot of times, okay, I'm very diligent about this, I stare at this ask and craft snazzy replies in my head all the time, that's why I'm so slow in... actually replying] I'm reminded of that. I'm not a very visual person but the colours and the framing... that was really nice.

I am somewhat glad you've not been to Finland yet, you must hit me up when you come visit, I'll take you for coffee!!! It's actually cooler now (bless!!!!!!!!!!!), the last... four days have been reasonable 14-20 degrees, after four consequtive weeks of 25+. Kkhhhh thinking back to it makes me feel a little ill, but now beret weather is back. I own a lot of berets, dear gay bike anon. I'm going to my university city for the weekend and I'm already wondering which beret(s) I should bring with me. This is an important decision with potential long-lasting consequences. I don't know if you've played any of Telltale's games (The Wolf Among Us and the first two seasons of The Walking Dead are the best ones, fight me), but when you make a decision and the game goes "This character will remember that." and you instantly go oh no what have I done??? That's how I feel about choosing the perfect beret for my city outing. But yes, weather extremes are just the worst. We've been having the longest drought I've ever seen here (it's still not properly rained, for the record, on Tuesday it rained for an hour or so) while in other places there's awful flooding. That's awful.

Ahhh I'm so happy you're continuing your Spanish-learning!! I took a beginner's course at uni in the spring semester, I'm going to take the next one when uni resumes in September. And yes, I'm studying it for LCDP. I mean I love languages in general, but I never had a particular need to study Spanish, until this year I suddenly did. I'm also Duolingo-ing it! Very slowly and steadily. Also, I adore the idea of your cat being your Denver. What's your cat's name??? What do they look like?? Tell me everything, you can't just leave it at my cat, you simply must allow me to meet them. Also, you know why guide cats aren't a thing? Because cats are the worst. I love cats, but you can't just teach them to do useful things. They'll do them if they want to. As I type this, my cat is trying to catch flies at my feet. Her name is Muusa.

I studied accounting for my undergrad!! So I can join you in [[[preventing]]] tax fraud and [[[recognising]]] tampering with financial statements. We can make a totally legitimate business out of it. No but truly, I'm certain we were taught some of those things with the expectation that our future employers would expect it of us. Capitalism is so fun :)))))) And you shouldn't be surprised, academia is but a stepping stone to crime, honestly. Any dark academia book will tell you this. You start out learning Latin and wearing turtlenecks, you end up with murder. That's just how academia works. And you seem to have already chosen your weapon... you're well on your way. :) Palermo the Pirate sounds great!!! I support your mutiny. I don't think I said, but this is my favourite word of the English language. Mutiny. Mutiny????? It doesn't sound very serious. It sounds cute, actually. I love it.

I'm so happy to hear you got your covid vaccine!!!! I had mine a month ago or so - I typed you a reply to the subway Gandía thing on the train ride back, actually. I was really stressed about getting it on my right arm, because I'm left-handed, and last time I got a vaccination (like a decade ago) they insisted on giving it on my left arm and I was sad :( But this time!! I got it on my chosen arm and was very pleased. So anyway, that was a segue. I'm glad you got your covid shot and were side effect -free!!!

My week has been good, thank you!! I went to my uni city for my niece's birthday on Monday, and as said I'm going back on Friday (tomorrow). So this time in between has felt like exactly that, time in between. I started reading Call Me By Your Name. I had my Korean class last night. Now I'm hanging out with my cat (she has stopped chasing flies and climbed to my lap) and talking to you. My holidays started already in May! And uni resumes in the beginning of September, but I'm a tutor for new students so I need to show up three weeks earlier for the orientation weeks. Yes, we do three weeks of orientation (read: three weeks of drinking). It's a bit insane.

Now I need to ask you again how your week has been, since I'm so slow. How has your week been?? Are you free from your exams?? When does your uni resume?

Stroopwafels are so good ahhh I'll have to buy them when and or if I see them. Possibly when I'm in central Europe but haha I can hope to be lucky and see them at a store with imported stuff, you know. My favourite cookies??? Omg maybe these ones - they have this truffle filling, and they're fun to eat (this is important in cookies, you see):

And of course they're Fazer. Because Finnish people have only one setting, apparently. Or maybe that's just me. But all cookies are great, honestly. I like making American cookies, that's always a fun pastime (and you get to have cookie dough, that's like half the fun). I've actually not made them for a lifetime??? Maybe I should, soon. I'll keep you updated. Also, brookies. I love making brookies, they're great.

I really really appreciate being given prompts, I hope you know that!! Thank you!! Consider me pocketing this prompt and maybe eventually some day theoretically getting back to you about it!! You're right - it has Berlermo energy. Insofar as either of them actually have other friends. :)

Thank you for this kind message, dear gay bike anon <3 I'd apologise for my slowness in replying but I think I'd rather you just assume that I'll get back to you, and thank you for your patience <3 Your kind and funny and chaotic asks always brighten my day. I hope you'll have a great rest of the week and just... all the nice and fun and good things and great vibes in life. All the best, dear gay bike anon <3 Take care!! And greetings from Muusa as well - she just yawned and I presume that means "greetings".

[inevitably-johnlocked]

I started this intending for it to just be a few paragraphs, but I got a little carried away. A little thank you gift for the amazing blog and everything you do! (Sorry if it’s bad, this is my first time writing a fic.) ●●~~~~●●~~~~~●●~~~~~●●~~~ 11:00 am

John is still asleep. The doctor with a daughter that has a secret boyfriend said that he should wake up soon. I’ve been waiting in a stupid uncomfortable chair that sits next to John’s bed. No, it’s not John’s bed, John’s bed is at home with Mrs Hudson in 221b, where he should be.

If only he weren’t so sentimental and stupid (and brave).

John decided that it would be fun to get thrown out of a second story window. Okay, maybe he didn’t think it would be fun but he still should have just let me handle it without trying to save me (again).

Cake man visited yesterday, swinging that stupid umbrella around. I told him to piss off. John would approve. Lestrade said something about coming to visit today but I don’t know, I was watching John at the time (I have more important things to worry about, Lestrade).

Today a not-completely-revolting nurse brought me tea. It was exactly how I liked it (bloody Mycroft).

I am hoping that maybe John will wake up today. If he doesn’t I am going to put a jar of eyeballs next to his bed.

I wish he would stop being so sentimental, then we wou – oh my god, John moved he’s waking up he can come home he’s ok.

Ok so maybe he just twitched but I need him to be okay he can’t not be okay.

I can’t live without him not being okay.

“John.”

A pause.

“John can you hear me?”

John eyes fluttered open (very slowly).

“Sherlylerly?”

“Um yes John it’s Sherlock. Are you okay?)

"Sheeeerlock? Who’s Sherlock??)

"It’s me John, do you want me to call a doctor?”

“Hey, I’m a doctor. Who are you?”

“It’s Sherlock, John.”

John was not trying to sit up while looking at me all wide-eyed.

“I don’t know a Sherlock.”

“I disagree.”

Okay what is going on? The doctors said he should perfectly fine… why doesn’t he remember me?

“John, you do know me right?”

John seemed to be deep in thought for a moment and got that cute little crinkle between his eyebrows that I see whenever I leave an experiment out.

“I don’t think I know a Sherlock, why? Why am I in a hospital?”

“You got into an accident trying to save your best friend.”

“I have a best friend??????”

I guess he’s still a little loopy on the drugs they gave him. But it’s also quite possible he has amnesia (which should be temporary).

“Yes, John.”

“Wow.”

“You should try to get some sleep, okay? Maybe when you wake up we can have a conversation you’ll remember.”

“What! No, I just woke up!”

“Too bad so sad, as the Americans would say.”

“Can’t make me.”

I put one hand on his back and one hand in his hand because I knew that contact helps him fall asleep. He used to have nightmares a lot and woke up screaming and I learned that that tended to help.

“It’s okay we can talk more once you’re better rested.”

Slowly he fell asleep and I went back the cursed hospital chair to wait some more.

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

7:00 pm

Lestrade, Donovan, and Anderson have stopped in to check up on John and I. I have no idea why Sally and Phillip are here, but whatever. Lestrade was saying something about a dinner at the yard when I saw John move out of the corner of my eye. He’s awake and I need to help him, but what if he doesn’t remember me again?

“John?”

“Sherrrlock?”

I was at the side of his bed at this point at took his hand again.

“Where am I?”

“The hospital.”

John suddenly got frantic and sat up a little to quick.

“Wow, hey there what’s wrong?”

“Mark. Where’s Mark. Is he okay?”

Lestrade (who I forgot was there) looked at me in confusion. I ignored him and focused back onto John to try and figure out who this Mark was.

“John, it’s Sherlock. There’s no Mark here, ok? Do you feel alright?”

He looked at his shoulder like he was expecting something to be here and then looked confused.

“Are the rest of the Team okay? Did they make it out?”

John looked up at me with so much desperation and hope in his eyes at hurt.

“Yes everyone’s okay, everyone’s alright. How about you go back to sleep okay? Maybe you’ll feel better?”

John looked up at me with confusion for a minute but then nodded and loosened his grip on my sleeve. One I was sure he was asleep I turned to Lestrade.

"I need John’s file. I need to see if there was any Marks with him in the war, or while he was being decommissioned.”

Sally looked at me confused and asked me why because she couldn’t see the simple solution. Sometimes, their stupidity is actually just too much for me to handle.

“Because obviously he knew a Mark during his time in Afghanistan, judging by the way his posture straightened and the first thing he did was check for signs of danger. It could also be from when he was decommissioned because he looked at his shoulder like he was expecting something to be there, so him being shot is a fresh memory. Honestly, that was simple.”

Lestrade nodded in understanding and ushered the two imbeciles out. I sat down in the stupid hospital chair and waited for Lestrade to come back with news or for John to wake up. I wonder who this Mark was. Whoever he was he certainly was important, John seemed really scared for him.

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I’ve found a Mark in John’s file -gl

And? -sh

Don’t you want to come down to see? -gl

I’m not leaving him. -sh

Ok, well John served with Mark during his last tour of Afghanistan before he was decommissioned. While they were on the field the last day Mark got shot and John ran out in open fire the save him. When he was shot the bullet went through his shoulder and killed Mark. His base got ambushed and the rest of his regiment died but the terrorists left him for dead. He was taken back to a hospital and treated but the wound got infected and he flatlined twice. -gl

Thank you

Of course

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The next day 9:00 am

“Sherlock?”

I looked up from the frightfully dull magazine I was reading to see John more awake than he was before.

“Ahh, finally decided to join the present, have we?”

“What happened Sherlock?”

“You decided it would be a nice idea to try and take down the guy I was fighting, which I could have handled completely fine by myself by the way, and got yourself thrown through a window. You landed relatively fine except for a nasty concussion and bad bruise or two.”

“Oh yeah, I think I remember that. But, as I recall, you were out dying and that guy was a foot taller than you.”

“Details.”

John smiles that proud smile at me and I couldn’t help but feel happy. He was finally awake and could come back home where he belongs.

“So, you woke up before this…”

John looked at me in confusion, obviously not remembering.

“You said something about a Mark and your regiment. John, are you okay?”

John started fiddling with the hospital sheets and was obviously deep in thought.

“How much did I say?”

“You just asked if they were safe.”

“And I’m assuming that you’ve already looked into my file?”

I looked down, not knowing how to respond.

“I’m so sorry John. I didn’t know I didn’t think-”

“It’s ok Sherlock, calm down it’s over now, there’s nothing to be sorry for.”

“But I didn’t know you went through do much, I could’ve done more! I could’ve-”

“It’s ok Sherlock just breathe, ok? Breathe with me.”

I hadn’t relised my breathing had quickened until John grabbed my hand and pulled me closer.

“It’s okay now because I’ve got you. You saved me in so many ways, Sherlock, you have nothing to be sorry for. You did more for me than I could ever do for you.”

“But John-”

“No, no buts. pull that chair over here and sit with me. You can tell me about what I missed, okay?”

I nodded and John started asking me questions and I started talking. Eventually we were both talking and laughing at Phillip’s complete and utter incompetence.

I don’t know how ever lived without John Watson, but I know now that I will never, ever lose him.

(Submitted by highfunctioning-soiciopath)

Oh Gosh, Lovely thank you so much for this!!! AHH I LOVE IT!! It’s so sweet! I hope you don’t mind I’ve gone and fixed spelling and punctuation (I’m SO SORRY, grammar is my kink and I can’t stop myself D:) but I’ve kept it the same! <3 This is your first ficlet? GREAT WORK!! I am honoured to be gifted something so beautiful!! :D