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#I just can't even begin to express how much I absolutely do not want someone giving me a drug that's going to make me drowsy and incoherent
thethingything · 4 months
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finally processing that we're probably gonna have to have these teeth removed with either sedation or general anaesthetic and unfortunately I have a phobia of both of these to the point where just thinking about it gives us panic attacks and I genuinely don't know what to do because I absolutely want to avoid this at all costs but we also might not have any other option
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#there is no amount of comfort or reassurance that can make me feel okay being sedated#like it's not even that I'm scared of side effects or risks or anything#I just can't even begin to express how much I absolutely do not want someone giving me a drug that's going to make me drowsy and incoherent#and also not remember anything afterwards#the premise of a stranger giving me a drug that's going to fuck up my ability to process anything or remember any of what happened#feels so incredibly violating and awful#like yes it's a medical context. yes I know it's so they can do the treatment. yes I know I'm supposed to trust them or whatever#but our brain doesn't process it like that. it's a stranger drugging you. that's terrifying regardless of the context#and given how much medical trauma we have and how awful some medical professionals have been to us#it happening in a medical context actually makes me feel worse#once again I'm not even necessarily scared of anything bad happening#even if you could absolutely guarantee that nothing bad would happen I would not be okay with it in the slightest#it's specifically the idea of my consciousness not being under my control#I take co-codamol for pain and that can make me drowsy and incoherent and fuck up my memory#but that's me choosing when to take it and how much to take and being able to stay away from people if I feel like I need to#and being able to make notes about what I've done and stuff like that#and there's a huge difference between that and being in a clinic having a procedure where you can't just get up and leave#and someone else is administering the meds and choosing the dosage and you're not the one in control of this situation#this makes me sound like a control freak and yeah I probably am#but that's kind of what haappens when you've had your bodily autonomy violated so many times by so many people
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wordsinhaled · 1 year
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thinking about how much crowley and aziraphale have been getting slammed for their poor communication and on the one hand... absolutely, i agree 100%. they have so much work to do in that department, they are always missing each other when it comes to seeing what they each want from the other and expressing it clearly. but on the other hand... like... encompassing six thousand years into a conversation? six thousand years of knowing each other. six thousand years of gravitating toward one another
like... the bit that really gets me, in crowley's confession, is - "...and we've spent our existence pretending that we aren't. i mean, the last few years, not really" - this implication that like... at least on crowley's part... since they saved the world together he's allowed himself to be more open in how he feels about aziraphale. that in his mind he's already long since chosen Their Side, they've chosen their side in their behavior towards each other, and they've talked about... our car, our shop, but even before that...
we see in the minisodes, the way they already act. they're a pair that shows rather than tells all the time and it's so abundantly clear that everyone around them can see it, is constantly asking about it, assuming it, reading it on them like they're an open book - with everyone but each other.
but like how do you put into clumsy human words how much love you feel for someone who stood next to you while you created the stars? who helped you create them? how do you say openly how you feel to the one person who understands you and your nature better than anyone else, who indulges your every whim because they want to see you happy while everyone else says you were built wrong, you're too indulgent, you're too soft but you're perfect for him, specifically, because you stood at the beginning of the universe together?
like how are they supposed to talk about that? especially when it's so forbidden to talk about that?
there are so few words that truly feel like they properly encompass what love truly and genuinely means? what loving someone TRULY means? how it's giving up your onliness and entrusting yourself into the hands of another, now you're not just you, now you're you but the world is brighter and sharper and more beautiful because of another? how we're all stuck on a spinning rock in the middle of space in the middle of the universe in the middle of the galaxy in the middle of eternity just little grains of sand and then there's another little grain of sand in the scheme of things, but it's the most important one ever created because of how happy it makes you?
but multiply that by six thousand years
so like of course you fucking cry and you stare at each other with tears in your eyes like you're absolutely ESSENTIAL to one another. but like how do you make it work in words when you don't know if there are even words for the prospect of existing without one another? and you have this absolutely incandescent and fragile thing between you that everyone understands to exist, you understand it to exist too, and sometimes it is scary as fuck to admit that you need someone. it is terrifying and uncomfortable and vulnerable and we're just people who live maybe 100 years on this earth? a blink of an eye compared to six thousand years of shared existence?
like...? truthfully i don't think i could talk about it easily either because oh my god that's fucking terrifying. that six thousand years of your comfortable and beloved shared existence could go up in smoke with one misplaced word. like no fucking WONDER he can't get the words out. and no fucking wonder, it's easier to couch things in terms like group and team and everything when you're on the verge of falling apart into a million pieces because the other half of your soul wants to leave you behind. it's easier to say come with me, work with me, be my second in command, than to admit he's first in your heart and mind every second of every day since you saw him bringing light at the beginning of the universe???
just... you know? they need a fucking break. they need a vacation. they need a cottage in the south fucking downs
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he never imagined he'd show anyone this side of himself. but when it's you, he can't help but show you everything.
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a/n: starting the side character writing off with a bang! this is part two of the first sign of affection.
content: what do the side characters do when they want to show you they appreciate you?
warnings: once again, if physical touch isn't your thing, neither is this post. also, solomon is a sad boi.
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diavolo; he falls asleep around you.
the future king of devildom takes everything in stride. from RAD problems to royal affairs, diavolo has it all covered. but sometimes, even the ruler himself finds himself on the panicked side. he begins to seek you out when he finds himself standing on anxiety's edge; your presence relaxes him to the point where he can't fight off the tiredness that clings. as the papers get signed, diavolo's eyes start to droop, and he doesn't notice the way you shift yourself closer to catch him. he falls asleep on your shoulder before he knows it, and you allow him to rest as long as he needs.
later, when he stirs and lifts his head to look at you, you quickly coax it back to where it was, sending his heart racing. "go back to sleep, you need it."
"... thank you." diavolo relishes in the way your hand combs through his hair, taking a moment to breathe a sigh of relief.
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barbatos; he fiddles with your hands.
as diavolo's right hand man, barbatos barely ever has a second to spare. so when he extends you an invite to come and have a tea tasting session with him, you absolutely cannot decline. throughout the day, he hands you flavours upon flavours of tea, each time never failing to ask if you'd like to take some of the leaves back home for yourself. the two of you eventually sit in a comfortable silence, fingertips brushing when you reach for the tea pot at the same time. without a word, barbatos slips his gloves off and reaches for your hands, beginning to idly play with your fingers.
your eyes widen in surprise, but you allow him to continue. "you... you okay?"
barbatos doesn't take his eyes away from your hands. "please, indulge me for just a moment," he says softly, placing his palm on top of yours.
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simeon; he plays with your hair.
simeon is often a man of few words. after all, he can never get his d.d.d. to work when he wants to call or even text you. so instead, he goes the old-fashioned way and comes knocking on your door instead. his heart skips a beat when you usher him in, and time flies by without much effort. the two of you sit pressed into each other's sides, and simeon takes his chance when he notices how your head bobs up and down sleepily. his hand reaches up and begins to tenderly card his hand through your hair, chuckling at the wobbly grin you began making.
"that feels nice," you murmur, settling even further into his side.
simeon lightly nuzzles his face on the top of your head in return. "i'm glad."
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solomon; he cries in front of you.
for someone to have lived as long as solomon, emotions begin to blend together. he's long forgotten where the line between sadness and anger lies, and it shows when the sorcerer smiles at a situation that calls for a frown. you recall the story he told you long ago, remembering the way his expression wavered as he recounted his memories. you stand by his side now in silence; his voice falters as he tries to say anything to you. in response, you turn his face towards you, telling him to do what he has never done in front of anyone.
you bring him closer, wrapping your arms around him. "stop holding back. you're safe with me."
"safe with you," solomon whispers back. the dam breaks, and in your presence, solomon allows tears to fall for the first time in centuries.
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a/n: i love cat, if you couldn't tell.
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I'm processing a lot of emotions tonight and I keep being drawn back to Good Omens--not just because it's the new hyperfixation or because it's so good. That's what I thought it was, at first.
But this year--hell, the last 3 or 4 months especially, I finally started taking steps to accepting and being myself. I'm rapidly approaching middle age and I'm only just now beginning to feel like I'm allowed to be me. I came out to the people in my household, a few select friends, and a few select family members--most of whom were wholly supportive. I started testosterone injections. I stopped trying to be someone I'm not. I stopped hiding who I am and who I love.
What does this have to do with Good Omens? Nothing. But also... Everything.
So much queer representation is in characters vastly younger than me--and that's good! I want queer kids to feel safe and loved and accepted in ways I never did. They deserve better than we had. And it gives me hope for their futures. I bawled like a baby when I watched The Owl House with my son and he was totally unphazed by the queerness. It's just how people are to him.
But when something like Good Omens comes along and not only grabs every opportunity to show average, everyday old(er) queer representation... It just. I've never felt more seen. More accepted. More hope for all our futures. And season 2 just knocked that out of the fucking park. And the nonbinary, genderfluid, and genderqueer rep? My God.
And it's not subtext, it's not it's own separate plotline where they're fighting for acceptance or dealing with hateful bigotry... It's just... Accepted. It's normal. No one questions it. No one even comments on it.
It's people of any age (even millions of years old) being unapologetically themselves and loving who they love openly and fully (with one notable uncommunicative group of two ineffable idiots, but they'll get there).
I just.
I can't express how grateful I am to see older queer rep at this time in my life. It's been a rough year, and I expect it'll get rougher before it gets better. But I've never been happier in my own skin, and it means the absolute world to see my literary and media heroes like Neil Gaiman, David Tennant, and Michael Sheen (and Terry Pratchett and everyone who worked on Good Omens, honestly) making this beautiful, messy, adorable, excruciating, wonderful, heartbreaking, ethereal, down-to-earth tale.
There aren't enough words in all the languages of the world to express how I'm feeling. "Thank you" just feels... Insufficient.
I just hope they know how much it means to people like me, especially after a lifetime of buried subtext and overt queerbaiting and media ridicule and general lack of acceptance, to experience this story with them.
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bubblegyu00 · 7 months
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riize as boyfriends !
riize x femidol!reader
a/n: currently in my rum pum pum pah talk saxy era 😋
———————・✦
• shotaro
boyfriend shotaro and idol shotaro are basically two different people. the members have mentioned that shotaro is a bit stern and serious during practice. but all of the frustration leaves his body once he sees his girlfriend stopping by after practice. goes from leader osaki shotaro to clingy baby taro in a millisecond.
is such a happy pill to you, but when you go without seeing him for more than 24 hours, then you suddenly become sad and depressed.
his favorite pass time is to talk about you, and he has proven that many..... many times. the members always get annoyed when the room is silent he and suddenly groans " man, i really miss my girlfriend ". but the poor boy can't help that you're always on his mind 😕
he definitely loves to annoy you, but only because he knows that you won't get angry at him. he thinks that you don't get angry at him because you basically let him do anything he wants ( which is true ), but it's really because even though taro likes to tease,, he never crosses the line.
if you would ever be at an awards show together, he wouldn't even try to hide your relationship — meaning the boy is quite literally gushing over how good you look. pokes you in the side and giggles quietly to himself as he watches you stiffen and try not to flinch.
" shotaro! what was that?! we were live! "
" it was so funny! "
———————・✦
• eunseok
boyfriend eunseok may seem nonchalant and tsundere ( yes i used that word, what're you gonna do about it 😛 ), he actually cares about you so much.
is on the verge of tears when he's cleaning a wound for you ( it's literally a paper cut ). will help you do everything for the rest of the day like you just got out of the ER or something.
makes you laugh all the time because he just wants to see you smile. his life goal is to protect you at all costs, and treat you like an absolute princess.
loves loves lovessss when you play with his hair or scratch his back. he can put up the tough guy act all he wants, but the minute you offer to rub or scratch his back he'll lay right on your lap and won't get up for another hour.
and even though he isn't as expressive, he gives you compliments like no other. he praises every little thing you do, and compliments you on every single piece of clothing you wear.
" you look so good baby "
" i'm literally wearing pajama pants and a tank top seok..? "
" i stand by my earlier statement "
( are my daddy issues showing yet? )
———————・✦
• sungchan
boyfriend sungchan is so cute i want to throw a rock at him. alright that made sense in my head.
he's so so so in love with you i don't think he could possibly put it in words. he probably wants to throw a rock at you too.
like you could literally glance at him for one millisecond, and that's a kiss in his book. he still gets giddy over the little things like holding hands and hugging and it's just so endearing 🙁
sometimes he forgets how handsome he is, and only remembers when he gets a scolding because he didn't know a girl was hitting on him.
no but seriously sometimes the fact that he is so insanely attractive leaves his brain. and the amount of girls that mindlessly flirt with him — even though his girlfriend is right there — double the amount when he's at the gym.
so he dosent leave for the gym until he gets sprayed with a bunch of your perfume, has a picture of you two in his phone case, a scrunchie on his wrist, and a pink bow around his arm. ( the last one is just cus... why wouldn't you try to tie a bow around sungchan's arm?? )
" maybe i should buy you a shirt with a picture of me on it "
" or i could just act like i'm gay when girls come up to me "
" oh my gosh yes! "
———————・✦
• wonbin
boyfriend wonbin is the beginning of the sassy man apocalypse. i say this from the heart wonbin 🤍
no but it's really a good thing because you needed someone who would overdress everywhere with you 😋. he still has never overdressed you ofc, he knows his limits 😼
most people thought you guys were just this big glamorous couple who slept glamorously, went on big glamorous dates, and just breathed in glamorous air.
this, however, is a big lie. most of the time you had dates at home, in bed, eating takeout, and watching horror movies.
although wonbin is very very very very hot in every way, most of the time you just saw him as a guy who was born to be a cutie patootie, but was forced to act like the mysterious hot guy.
wonbin only let's you see the soft side of him because he can really open up to you, and you understand him so well.
if wonbin is ever having a bad day and won't open up to anyone, the members call you immediately since they know that you'd be able to calm him down in five minutes tops.
" go away "
" binnie, baby it's me. you can open the door "
———————・✦
• seunghan
boyfriend seunghan most definitely was best friend seunghan before you "accidentally" made out one night
your love language is annoying each other and pissing one another off <3
you two are most definitely the couple everyone brings over to have a good time. the both of you together is quite literally is the best combo you could put together for having fun.
seunghan will annoy you, but make it up with the dozens of gifts he gives you for no reason. you showed him something online? he bought it. you thought something was cute at the mall? he's already whipping his credit card out.
he's not necessarily clingy, but will be touching you most of the time just to make sure you don't disappear. whenever you're at a party, or in public, he'll have an arm around your waist just for reassurance. he does in fact think you'll get kidnapped if you're not in his line of vision.
boyfriend seunghan most definitely calls you the most out of pocket nicknames just for fun. he thinks it's gold comedy.
" i'm home cucumber! "
or
" how was your day tissue? "
———————・✦
• sohee
boyfriend sohee makes me want to go into a cuteness aggression not gonna lie to you. the biggest simp out of the seven.
has you as his lockscreen and homescreen, has your photo card in his phone case, your birthday is his phone password, and his password for all of his accounts is the day he asked you out. ( he's a bit obsessed ngl )
sohee is usually very smiley, but he never ever smiles as wide as when he's with you. you're the only one who gets to see his fully pearly white smile
is still really shy around you, but it's so endearing. like if you say "i love you" he'll say it back but his neck, ears, and face will be a shade of red. or if you kiss him it'll still take him a minute to calm down because he has the reddest face ever right now.
like shotaro, sohee talks about you too much too. but honestly he only does it sometimes to make them mad or annoyed, but sometimes he really does just to talk about his perfect girlfriend.
will make sure you NEVER eat alone. he just thinks it's so sad that his girlfriend would eat alone when she could be eating with him.
" have you already eaten? "
" yes "
" aw, i wanted you to eat with me "
" oh, i haven't eaten yet, what do you want? "
" but you just- "
———————・✦
• anton
boyfriend anton makes me want to skip around my room and sing " look at the grass, the dirt! just like i dreamed they'd be! "
he gets really shy when you compliment him, but will compliment you on every single thing you say or do. like he'll literally say you look perfect when you're in sweatpants, and it makes you wanna do cartwheels and swoon over him.
he will so lose it every time you dress up at all. like he's literally drooling with goo goo eyes and he will NOT leave your side.
he feels so small next to you even though he's literally a whole shaq o'neal 2.0. he still can't believe how he pulled a bad bitch like you.
his love language is physical touch, but he is too shy to make the first move. for example, when you're sitting on the couch, about to watch a movie, he'll keep his hands to himself even though he wants to lay on your chest and have you play with his hair so badly.
people figure out your dating because when he's on live he'll bring you up every chance he gets. like every time he reads a comment, he somehow finds every single one to have something to do with you.
" anton what's your tmi? "
" um, my tmi for today is that i watched y/n's performance at mcountdown in person today and oh my god- "
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yandere-avatar · 1 year
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I'm Not Jealous... Well, Maybe a Little
Summary: How do they act when jealous? [Damn, 3 posts in one day? Wow. Popped this out in like 20 mins.] Characters: Katara, Sokka, Aang, Suki, Azula and Zuko
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Katara
She doesn't take jealousy well
She'll pretend she's not jealous and bury these feelings
But they'll end up bubbling inside her and it'll come up in a fit of rage
When your back is turned, she'll attack the person that was flirting with you
You'll be none the wiser to what she did
She'll smile at you and you'll probably be confused
The person won't even see Katara coming or even know what she did
She watches in fury though, while the person hits on you
It definitely irritates her more that you don't realize they're flirting with you
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Sokka
He's like his sister, by burying his feelings deep inside
He'll probably know his feelings are bad, but he loves you and it feels so right
He might challenge them to a fight, just out of nowhere
You'll be confused, but the person won't take Sokka seriously
Sokka would make an absolute fool of himself, as long as it meant he had your attention back
He needs your confirmation that you still love him
He'd take your pity over your distaste any day
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Aang
He's the most passive about his jealousy
He's very extroverted and will join the conversation, turning the vibe off [at least hopefully]
If they don't, he will get a little angry
He'll control the conversation and the flirter can't do anything about it, because Aang is so likeable
He makes sure the hint is thrown out there, that they need to leave you alone
If they don't? Well, let's just say their house blew down, so now they don't have time to hit on you
You'll feel bad, but Aang will come up with an excuse on why you and the gang need to leave
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Suki
Ugh, she gets so huffy
She is very forward though and will enter the conversation
If the person tries to push her out, she will get aggressive
She's very straightforward and will confront them, even if you're there
You think they're just being friendly and the flirter will use that to their advantage
"You're just being paranoid, I was just telling them about the town"
Suki will glare, knowing it's bull, but she quickly realized she was cornered
She awkwardly smiled and turn towards you, "The gang needs our help, we should go now"
You won't think about it much and wave goodbye to the flirter
As you both walk away, Suki will turn around, smirking while waving bye to the person
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Azula
Oh, you screwed up bad
When she gets jealous, she gets violent [Though she gets violent a lot]
But, she doesn't know how to healthily express her emotions, or really just express them at all, so she acts out
She hates this feeling because she's used to be confident and adored
She hates when you even waste a second of your time on someone that isn't her
She deserves all your attention, why are you wasting a second on them?
She's mad at them for talking to you, but she's also mad at you for encouraging them
You'll have to calm her down, or she's killing everyone
Her fits of rage cause a lot of casualties
She then blames you for everyone that got hurt
"Well, if you hadn't been flirting with them, this never would of happened"
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Zuko
Him and sister have anger in common
He wants to burn them into the ground
Make them suffer for making him watch
He's very annoyed, but doesn't know how to express his jealousy
He won't act out like a child, but he was glare and fire emits from his fist
Anyone can tell he's angry
He'll walk up to you both and glare at the person, before wrapping an arm around you and forcing a smile
"What are you guys talking about?"
You weren't really into the conversation, so you'll say nothing, but Zuko takes it as you not wanting him to know
Did you hate him? Wait, were you talking about him? Why won't you tell him?
God the anxiety eats him alive
He then begins regretting approaching you both. But you just grab him, before pretending to hear your name and pull Zuko along, saying something like "I think I heard Sokka call us. Let's go"
He'll apologize, but you'll laugh, and lightly punch his shoulder, "I didn't want to talk to them. They were so cocky. I'm so glad you saved me. My hero"
You kiss his cheek and he blushes a dark red and you'll continue to walk as he freezes
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moirindeclermont · 2 months
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5+ things I love about the Mirror Scene
also know as horny edition, reprise, again I decline every responsability if "feelings" arise during the reading of this thread. I'll be tempted of discussing the scene frame by frame, but I shall restrain myself to the most important points maybe
1) Words. This is not just about the speech at the beginning of the scene but also throughout the entire piece. I'm a writer, ofc I love when people use words well. Pleas don't make me say how many times I though about Mr Colin "I love dirty talking" Bridgerton (a couple of people actually knows) because it could become uncomfortable very quick.
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2) Consent. Consent. Consent. I'll repeat every time because it's the sexiest thing I've seen. What do you mean it ruins the mood? Your partner is checking in with you and it builds trust connection and intimacy. It's not apart from the act. It's a fundamental part of the act.
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3) Boobs. I'm sorry to report that, even as a fellow member of the perfect breasts club, I'm absolutely not immune. Not even one bit. I'm not even sorry I'm not immune. Thank you, Nicola, your service was wildly appreciated. (But seriously, did I buy a more revealing dress because I was a bit more confident of my own because of this bit? Yes! So, jokes aside thank you Nicola for your service)
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4) Guidance. Gentle Dom Colin is my favorite Colin and I will never be able to hear the word "lie down" without thinking of him. But also, the tenderness displayed, the softness, the attention to the partner's needs, it's all part of a pattern of Colin being the most attentive partner.
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5) "You are so beautiful", I'm not going to lie, I'm still walking 5 feet taller because of that. It healed something in me. It doesn't magically cure all the self issues problems, but it hit me the first time and it hit me again everytime. And if it was healing for you as much as it was for me, let me give you a hug. You are so beautiful!
(I can't believe I can't find the gif, if someone knows where to find it, please tell me, i'll edit the post)
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6) "Not there. Not yet." Colin Bridgerton, Master of Edging. I see you Sir. I approve you wanted to wait for round 2 for that. But don't hide you did say that because you would finish in 0.1 second if she would arrive that. Still, even just for the cutest expression on Pen's face, it was worth it.
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7) "Is there more?", Pen I want to hug you (respectfully and dressed, of course). His nod. Her blinding smile. Lord (don't) forgive me, I do not care about sinning when it never looked and felt better.
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Gif by @polinsated
8) All the moments where you can see the lust and the pleasure in Pen's eyes. I will never shut up about it. They send me always into the stratosphere because it feels real. I don't know they do it, but it just feel real.
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9) "Can we do it again?" What can I tell you? It's always the quiet one (I should know, I'm also a quiet one 😏) I'm not sure Colin realize what he did awake but he will become aware soon. I'm sure he doesn't mind.
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(it's not my gif, stupid Tumblr, it's from @polinsated )
10) Let's be honest. All the above are real, but what really sell this scene is trust, connection and intimacy. It's not an easy thing to communicate but somehow they do it perfectly. And the nudity is functional to this goal. It adds another layer.
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I love this scene but the me I was some years ago might have hated it because it is a mirror indeed for me. The me I am now is grateful that this scene exist. Because it's kind of the goal, to have that trust, intimacy and connection. So maybe it's a sign from the Universe. Maybe it's a sign of things to come. I certainly do hope so.
Maybe one day I might be able to talk about this scene without tearing up, but today is not that day.
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genericpuff · 3 months
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Are there any things you like about LO? Or is it all shit to you. Personally, I think it could be a great storyline with the right execution, but a lot of the stuff and plot is unnecessary (I.e. Hades being thousands of years older than Kore and making characters fall in love with people they are racist/classist towards 😨😨)
Oh there are LOADS of things that I liked and still enjoy about LO despite all the shit I've thrown at it. I love love LOVE a lot of the older art-
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Like, damn, that shit is so charming! I swear I had that Tower 4 panel as my phone background for like, 2 years LOL
Rachel had a really strong understanding of shape language, composition, color theory, and expressive linework in a way that was really appealing and unique at the time, but along the way it was just lost, undoubtedly due to her taking more of a backseat in the character art process and leaving it to her assistants.
That said, there's a lot of... not so charming, too.
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I think, on the one hand, there's a lot to appreciate in the old art that shouldn't be rejected as we criticize this series. At the end of the day, as much as we riff on it, many of us did love this series at one point in time, so we shouldn't cringe at what it used to make us feel or pretend like we were ever above it when we were very much lost in it for ages before it went down the tubes.
But there is a lot to be said about the effects of rose-colored glasses, and how LO was never perfect. The reality is that much of Rachel's work is exemplified by the odd beautiful thing that sticks in our memories, but when we actually go back to relive those memories, we find they're all strung together by some not so beautiful stuff that makes us go 'wait what???'
Case in point, with LO we remember beautiful compositions like this:
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But then within those same episodes we get:
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And it's like oh. Yikes.
Aside from the art, there was also the SA plot as well as the Act of Wrath. The SA plot felt really special to me at the time because I was someone who was once in Persephone's shoes, being pressured into sex that I wasn't ready for but wasn't capable of saying no to. I can appreciate what Rachel was trying to do with that plot, but over time it became clear that she wasn't committed to seeing that plotline through and so I kind of just dropped my expectations for it entirely.
That said, it wasn't the SA plotline that set me off. I had good faith in that one still that it would be addressed eventually. It was the Act of Wrath plotline that did me in. The premise of it was totally my cup of tea in the way of "quirky character has a dark evil backstory!" which is shit that I absolutely LOVE, but then when the "twist" happened that Eris was the one to give her wrath, that was literally when I had my almost "canon event" moment of realizing "wait... I don't think Rachel knows what she's doing." And then it was just all downhill from there. The S2 finale sealed my fate LOL
All that said, as much as my brain is often defaulting to "ew! gross! bad!!!" in all honesty I do still appreciate what LO meant to be back when I still enjoyed it. It meant enough to me that I just couldn't let it the fuck go when it started to go downhill, so much so that I started making my own version of it! And that's something that sets it apart so much more from other comics I really don't like anymore (or comics I never liked to begin with) like Down to Earth, The Kiss Bet, Let's Play, etc. where I really can't even be bothered to think about them let alone talk about them to the extent I do about LO. I may be full of beans when it comes to LO, but I'd still rather be talking about it and all its failings and what it used to mean to me than about any of those other works. I loved it enough to still want it in my life and that's what Rekindled has accomplished for me.
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istoleyoursk1n · 8 months
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Hi can you do halsin Gale and Astarion with a very explicit and flirty paladin s/o who looks super stoic and serious please?
Like they’re there standing stoic and menacing and then whispers in their ear the dirtiest pick up line ever?
Like I think they’d have a funny reaction!
Feel free to refuse ofc! Thanks anyways!
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How would Halsin, Gale, and Astarion react to a paladin who looks stoic/strict only for them to be an explicit and flirty?
(Damn, reminds me of my PaladinLMAO)
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: ̗̀➛ ASTARION
“Oh, darling, and just when I thought you were as dense as a brick wall. I never could have guessed that beneath all that was a cheeky little flirt. All that dirt coming out of such a filthy mouth, you ought to have someone clean it out for you, my sweet.”
He was the one being the flirty ass at first, hitting on you in every teasing way he could think of with the hopes that perhaps someday he’d get a reaction out of you for his own amusement.
You never seemed to comment on his “advances” at first, you remained as stern as usual with little but a side glance to offer.
Probably got personally offended each time his usual charms failed but he was persistent. More so because he wanted to prove that he could truly seduce even the most stoic of hearts.
He made it his personal mission to make you crack, but along the way, he may or may not have fallen for you. Regardless, the realization absolutely horrified him.
Perhaps he just has the worst luck ever or you finally started to begin your master plan of turning the tables against him but nevertheless, he wasn't prepared at all for what you had in store for him.
He was already taking quite the liking to you, so the moment you began whispering such depraved yet smooth words into his ear, he was shocked and speechless for the first time in years.
His mind was practically breaking apart as you laid out every filthy thing you had in mind. He truly couldn't tell if this was utterly fucked or if he was somehow into it.
You would be the sole reason a tint of color finally appears in his otherwise undead skin. The tint being a bright shade of red of course.
He goes from being startled, angry, confused, flustered and then eventually hitting you right back with a little pick up line of his own once he’s finally calmed down.
Now both of you end up teasing and flirting with each other as sneakily as possible, both of you trying to outdo the other in terms of who could fluster whom the most.
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: ̗̀➛ GALE
“I…oh gods, love, you truly don't understand the things you do to this heart of mine. Of all the weaknesses I could have possibly gotten, you are one I’d welcome with open arms. I have stood proud amongst a Goddess but for you? I’d fall to my knees.”
He was slightly intimated by you at first by how stoic you appeared to be. You seemed like a person who’d prioritize business and work above all else, repelling anyone with nothing more than a glare.
He wasn't even sure how to approach you, he was already admiring you from afar but he feared that you would have never felt the same. Not when it felt as if your heart was locked within walls of stone.
He tried to shoot his shot once or twice, but they were always met with a few words of acknowledgment or even worse, a mere nod.
As much as he wished to simply move on from his utter fixation on you, he can't help but pine. You’re something he's grown to truly desire in ways he could hardly express.
However, one way or another, every little attraction he’s felt for you thus far is revealed by him. Completely exposing just how smitten he truly is by you and perhaps that single moment of true vulnerability is what finally made you snap.
Pull him close and abruptly whisper every depraved fantasy and dirty pickup line you've thought of just for him and he’d die. I mean, melting right then and there into a puddle of shame.
For a man who talks too much, he suddenly becomes oddly quiet, his eyes wide with a certain gleam of helplessness that makes him look all the more exposed to you.
For once in his life he’s stuttering his words, barely even able to hang onto a sentence without having to take a moment to breathe or silently whimper out in a mix of embarrassment, confusion, and frustration.
Dropping one of your pickup lines would be just enough to have this man in a chokehold. Truly. It’s one of the only ways to actually silence him.
He’s not one for pickup lines but he’d try his damn best to voice out his admiration for you similar to how a poet would describe their one and only muse. Through each sweet whisper, you dare utter, he falls deeper and deeper in love with you.
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: ̗̀➛ HALSIN
“My heart, I beg of you. Each word, each whisper, even the soft tingle of your breath against my skin- you are a walking temptation that I so longingly wish to taste. My blood runs wild when you are near and I fear what I may do to you if you if you continue on.”
He was hardly bothered by the fact that you seemed a tad bit uptight. He has met far too many people similar to you and he’s learned better than to judge someone based on appearances alone.
Doesn't change the fact that he was in fact attracted to you.
The thing is, he respects you too much to ever make a move. At least, not for a while. Most conversations you’d have with Halsin were of the friendly sort at first, prioritizing the mission at hand before anything else.
However, in truth, the way his eyes practically brightened and his breath ever so subtly quivered when you approached was something you could have slowly picked up on.
He eventually slides very discrete hints about his attraction toward you, simply testing the waters to see if you would reciprocate. However, he truly never expected you to actually take the bait.
Before he could even properly make a move on you, you were already whispering every one of your sweetly depraved desires into his ear, catching him completely off guard.
He knew that there must have been more beneath your hardened exterior but he would have never suspected this. But is he complaining? Absolutely not.
But do be careful when and where you decide to whisper such things to him because you may or may not be seconds away from being utterly ravished by one bear of a man against the nearest surface.
Do so in public spaces where it's safe to tease him, giving you the freedom to watch as his breath heaves and his voice breaks just by the smoothened words coming out of your dirty mouth.
Nevertheless, he’s absolutely obsessed with your little flirty remarks, said remarks being enough to fluster him instantaneously. All the lovers he had taken in his life and yet he had never met one who could madden him as much as you do.
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Text
In awtwb, we see Simon take his cues from Baz – he doesn't know how to be in a loving relationship (outside of friendship) and doesn't know how to express romantic love or sexual attraction.
We see Simon slowly learn from Baz, picking up what Baz puts down (making progress in bed when he switches his focus to "pleasing Baz") or identifying the things Baz does for or to him that he likes, and trying to do them for Baz. "I like the way Baz constantly checks on my well-being, you think that could be annoying, but it makes me so happy I wish I always had this..." after reading Baz being Simon's rock, the shoulder Simon leans on for a whole book... we see Simon doing the same thing for Baz in SFC. We see Simon start to use pet names for Baz after Baz has been using them with Simon since they got together, so we can infer that Simon likes when Baz calls him love and darling (and he would, since he insistence on being called Simon and not Snow comes from wanting to feel closer for Baz, since he was used to associating Snow with their distance)... but it doesn't end there. Or rather, it didn't start there...
On their very first meeting, Baz holds back while Simon can't resist the incredible pull he feels towards him. Much can be said about their meeting, about how much it says about the characters and the way they act about their feelings for the other, once they become aware of what those feelings actually are, but I don't want to get sidetracked here. Simon is someone who refuses to process (and so isn't used to analyzing himself or his feelings, or knowing what he wants outside of the very obvious – that being "I want a family, stability, to belong"), who needs something to guide his actions at all times... and so would be used to react to what he thinks other people are putting down. It's a survival instinct.
I think Simon has always been taking his cues from Baz.
When Simon first meets Baz, it's a moment characterized by an irresistible pull, an unbearable pain that can only be soothed by touching Baz. That's how loving Baz feels like for Simon. That's how attraction feels. It's painful to not be able to touch Baz (he will pick fights not just for his attention, but because is the only way he knows how to touch him... note how quickly Simon escalates in his touches in less than 24 hours once the truce begins). And Baz reaction to Simon in that first meeting? He's feeling the same things too, and yet, he restrains himself. While such control can awake certain admiration, his restraint in the face of such intense feelings can also feel like a rejection. Why else wait to hold Simon's hand? Maybe he just doesn't want to touch him at all, maybe he sees Simon as beneath him – which is something Simon could feel and internalize on a subconscious level, even before Baz starts acting in ways that Simon feels like it’s saying that more blatantly (which is part molded behavior and part of a wall – when Simon is like "Baz is the most arrogant person I know" I think Baz was very much exaggerating that shit around Simon, but that's another post)
This sets the tone for their future interactions. I'll never stop saying this because I'm not a bitch easily fooled by unreliable narrators with unprocessed homosexual thirst: Simon has always been following Baz around. It's just the intensity with which he follows him that varies. In one way or another, he always found him interesting and mysterious and enthralling... I also always say Simon is the obvious one between the two of them – he doesn't know, but his behavior betrays him (when Agatha and Penny both figure out in hindsight that Simon's behavior towards Baz has been gay behavior for years... it's them mostly looking back at Simon's behavior, they didn't know Baz like that back then). Baz is way better at hiding himself, and the defenses he employs are thorny. His walls have barbed wires at the top. When Baz looks unimpressed by Simon, but his behavior makes Simon think he's absolutely despised? Simon lashes out – Baz is a(n incredibly fit) creep only capable of making 2 or 3 expressions >:c (yeah, I picture Simon making that face, like he's pouting... because he is! Mr. "I know you're alive because I have been observing your soul" doesn't truly believe this shit). When Baz looks unimpressed by Simon, but his behavior makes Simon think Baz loves and wants him? A turn on, actually. Baz’s resting bitch face makes Simon want to climb him like a tree and suck his face. The difference is in what Simon is picking up from Baz (even if other things also come into play)... that has always been the case, I think. He's not free of impulses (he's full of them, actually) but a lot of his behavior centers on what he thinks (or assumes) (whenever he assumes we have problems) he's getting from Baz.
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thethingything · 7 months
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we have a dentist appointment tomorrow and on the plus side we're not really anxious about the appointment itself because the dentist was so nice last time and actually took our medical trauma into account.
unfortunately though we do have to have anaesthetic which makes us feel like shit for at least the rest of the day, and no matter how considerate the dentist is, having a medical professional touch us at all does still trigger certain trauma and then I end up having a bunch of panic attacks at some point within the next few days and it's a really shit time. I really don't wanna have to deal with that and the concept of it is making me nauseous
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#<- kinda#medical trauma#(this turned into a long rant about medical trauma and consent so here's your warning for that if you read the tags)#I didn't like medical professionals touching me anyway but ever since the stuff last April when we went to the hospital#it's been a way bigger issue and I end up being an absolute wreck for a while because of it#I cannot begin to express how much I do not want a medical professional touching me at all but especially not in my mouth#and any other situation where someone shoves their fingers in your mouth when you don't want them to would be considered really violating#but because it's for medical reasons and we have to put up with it if we actually want treatment nobody around us seems to see it like that#same goes for various other medical procedures where it's like if a stranger touched me like that when I really didn't want them to#in any other situation that would be assault but because it's a medical setting I'm expected to just be okay with it???#idk I probably haven't explained any of this right but I just don't like that people treat medical stuff as a special scenario#that's exempt from causing the same distress as any other scenario where someone touches you when you don't want them to#even though our brain is processing them the same way and we can't magically make that not happen#I know technically with medical procedures you (usually?) consent#but it's like... the choice is either consent to it or have your health keep getting worse#and once again in any other situation if your choices were to either consent or experience physical harm#that wouldn't really be considered consent and would be really distressing#I'm literally only consenting out of fear of what happens if I don't which... technically isn't consent but what choice do I have#idk this stuff is probably an issue specifically because of our trauma#but even still I would like to be taken seriously when I say I feel violated after medical procedures
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yazthebookish · 7 months
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This might be a bit long but the Gwynriel Reddit thread inspired me to let my thoughts flow about Gwyn and Azriel.
P.s. this will include some HOFAS spoilers.
I've said this before but SJM choosing to end Azriel's chapter with Gwyn is a choice. It's the beginnings and the endings of a chapter that authors tend to put a lot of thought into—so her ending the chapter which felt like her nudging readers' to Gwyn's direction is intentional.
Gwyn was not just a random addition, given their interactions throughout ACOSF their scene in the bonus chapter didn't feel out of place (even if readers' didn't expect to see her in it).
People try to invalidate the bonus chapter as much as they can but HOFAS had proved once again that they are important and canon (though I do think SJM and her publisher need to include these in the main books because they are crucial).
"You depend so much on a bonus chapter that a lot of readers don't have access to"
True but that doesn't mean the next book can't fill in the blanks because Azriel and Gwyn were already interacting in ACOSF, so having that romantic development in the next book (and the possible reveal that they're mates) + ON PAGE will still make it up for the readers that never read the bonus chapter. Like, CC4 will definitely bring up the fact that Ruhn and Lidia got married (despite it happening in a bonus).
I always considered the bonus chapter as a teaser for what will happen in the next book, Sarah confirmed she sprinkled little crumbs and I quote "I want to hear all your theories after you read the book and his [Azriel's] bonus scene, the crumbs have all been scattered, little bread crumbs everywhere" and it will keep readers guessing until the next book is out. So you won't know for sure how relevant or significant the bonus chapter is and the crumbs she scattered until you read the next book.
With that being said, Gwyn's cameo in the bonus chapter didn't come without some interesting clues: Azriel's shadows didn't warn him she was around, they were curious about her and she smiled at them, they danced and sang around her, Azriel revealed he sings because she asked, she thanked him with a smile and he felt settled even his shadows calmed.
We never saw his shadows react to anyone the way they did with Gwyn. They seem drawn to her, they danced, they sang, and while there are many theories about it but I absolutely do think if the shadows would be drawn to someone it would be Azriel's mate.
"Azriel and Gwyn had no romantic development and he didn't think about kissing her and all that"
But did every SJM couple start that way? No. And someone expressing the desire to kiss and hook up with someone is not always an indication of endgame (I can count multiple couples who kissed but weren't endgame).
The crumbs we had of them in ACOSF sets the groundwork for a romantic relationship to build in the next book—because who doesn't want to read about them both falling in love on page?
And yes, Sarah is capable of writing a love story from scratch in a single book (e.g., Tower of Dawn). Another example is how ACOMAF started with Feyre being in love with Tamlin and halfway through she started to really fall in love with Rhys.
The whole Azriel/Elain/Lucien triangle is messy as it is, so I don't think SJM would turn it into a square by inserting Gwyn. SJM could've chose not to give Gwyn and Azriel any ties in any way whether it was him rescuing her, him training the Valkyries, and again, including her in his own bonus chapter (hell even her boss:guardian Clotho made an appearance).
But she did and based on her pattern with her male love interests in particular, she doesn't really insert a new female or have females fight over the male love interest. I don't ever see Elain and Gwyn fight over Az, each might have an issue with Az on their own but do I see them argue with each other over Azriel? Absolutely not.
And if you look at the sequence of the scenes in his chapter, it gives a better idea of how it was planned:
1. Starts with Azriel reflecting on his loneliness while everyone left.
2. Elain shows up and they interact, Azriel gives her the necklace and they almost kiss.
3. Rhysand interferes and Az stops the kiss and tells Elain it was a mistake.
4. Az and Rhys argue and ends with Rhys ordering him to stay away from Elain and dismissing him.
5. Az leaves to the House of Wind wanting to work off the frustration but finds that Gwyn already occupied the training ring.
6. Gwyn and Az interact and he leaves the scene feeling settled down and his shadows calmed.
7. He wakes up, goes to the River House and finds Elain's necklace, he pockets it with the intention of returning it to the shop after the snowball fight.
8. Instead of the shop, he goes to the library to ask Clotho to give the gift to Gwyn and refuses to leave with it.
9. Going back and forth, Clotho eventually agrees and said she will tell Gwyn a friend gave it to her and she thanks Az for the joy it will bring to Gwyn.
10. Az leaves but the mention of Gwyn's joy sparked something in him that it brought a slight smile to his face, he buried the image in his chest where it glows quietly.
Both interactions with Elain and Rhys ended with him feeling miserable, but both interactions with Gwyn and Clotho ended with him feeling lighter and better—and to me that shows me how intentional SJM was with creating these parallels (including the shadows skittered back vs the shadows danced and sang).
Instead of Gwyn and Clotho we could've had Mor or Nesta or Amren, but SJM chose Gwyn and Clotho. Like, it could've ended after Rhys's argument but again, it's a writer's choice.
That's why no matter how many times I reread ACOSF my mind doesn't change much because SJM is not that subtle.
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ivyyisbored22 · 1 month
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𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐝𝐞—𝘑𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘪𝘯 𝘹 (𝘧𝘦𝘮) 𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳
An academic rivals, Stray Kids one shot
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Synopsis: You and Jeongin have been academic rivals since the beginning of law school and almost every professor knows that you two are the fiercest competitors in the program. Things get worse (or heated should we say?) when your professor pairs you with Jeongin for a final project...
Warnings: SMUT🔞 (with a plot). Mature content. Semi-public sex, fingering, oral (f. receiving). Minors do not interact!!!
Note: There's not as much smut in this one compared to my previous one shots. I'm exploring my writing style but I must say I really enjoyed writing this one ^^
If this isn't your thing, you're more than welcome to skip it. Reblogs, likes, comments and feedbacks are always appreciated.
ɪ'ᴠᴇ ᴘʀᴏᴏꜰ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ɪᴛ ᴀ ᴍɪʟʟɪᴏɴ ᴛɪᴍᴇꜱ ʙᴜᴛ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴘᴏᴛ ᴀ ᴍɪꜱᴛᴀᴋᴇ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴡʜᴇʀᴇ, ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ʟᴇᴛ ᴍᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡ.
Word count: 3.2k
𝑬𝑵𝑱𝑶𝒀!
. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁
"NO!" The two of you shouted in unison at your professor.
The professor looked at you and then Jeongin unimpressed, for the first time, he was taken aback by the unprofessional behavior from both of you.
"It is important for lawyers to learn how to collaborate. When you have your own firms, you can think about competition. But now if you want to graduate, you must do this project together."
You exchanged a glare with Jeongin, his jaw clenched as tightly as yours. The room felt thick with the tension neither of you could seem to shake.
"Can't you pair me with someone else sir?" You begged your professor.
The last thing you wanted before graduating in a few months was your head on a platter thanks to the unwantedly attractive man standing next you. You were sure God was in a very good mood when creating him.
You joined the best university of Law with high hopes of having a wonderful Uni life, but the UNIVERSE had other plans for you.
Instead of breezing through your courses, you found yourself locked in a constant battle with Jeongin, your academic nemesis. Every class, every debate, every exam, it was always about outdoing each other.
Now you have to work with him. Oh dear heaven. And has your heart always raced so fast when seeing a man with dimples?
The professor shook his head. "My decision is final. If I don't get your report by the deadline, expect that you won't be wearing your graduation cap."
Was the last he said before he gestured the two of you out of the classroom. Jeongin scoffed audibly, having to pair up with you is his worst nightmare.
He hated that he had to share the spotlight with you. He hated your relentless drive and your sharp mind that often matched his own.
But most of all, he absolutely hated that he found you cute. It was infuriating how your determination and fiery spirit only made you more attractive to him.
As you walked down the hall together, with a huge gap in between, of course. The silence was heavy and deafening. You stole a glance at Jeongin and caught him looking at you, his expression unreadable, almost annoyed.
He quickly looked away, clearing his throat.
"5pm. Library. Don't be late" His voice was low and controlled, he didnt bother waiting for a reply and walked away down the hall.
And you stood there watching him walk away, muttering to yourself, "F.M.L"
***
"You clearly don't have this point right, what is it even supposed to mean?" You asked, frustration palpable in your voice.
For two hours, you and Jeongin had been arguing over the points in the project, refusing to come to a mutual understanding. The tensed murmur of your voices earned quite a few disapproving glances from other students who were at the library.
Jeongin rolled his eyes, running a hand through his hair. He was this close to taping your mouth shut with the scotch tape that was inside your pencil case.
"I do have it right. You're just not seeing the bigger picture."
"Fine, explain it to me then." You taunted.
Taking a deep breath, he leaned in closer, pointing at the document. "Here, the case precedent supports our argument, but you need to connect it to the current legislation. It's all about drawing the parallels."
Your eyes flickered with understanding, finally getting his point but you felt kind of embarrassed for not seeing it in the first place.
"Oh" You said, trying to sound neutral but mostly hiding your embarrassed voice.
"Yes, oh," Jeongin smirked, it only annoyed you more but for some reason your pulse quickened like a cheetah's sprint when you caught a glance of his deep dimple.
Get yourself together. He's your rival.
"Anyways..." you muttered, trying to refocus.
For the next hour, the two of you finally settled into a proper argument for your project and began brainstorming ideas. Despite the initial tension, you both fell into a rhythm, challenging and pushing each other in a way that brought out your best work.
Suddenly, when you reached the laptop opened on the table, Jeongin's hand softly brushed over yours. The touch was electric, sending a shiver down your spine. You pulled back quickly, your face flushing.
"Sorry," you mumbled, not meeting his eyes. Jeongin's gaze lingered on you for a moment longer before he cleared his throat.
"No problem."
The moment passed, but the charged atmosphere remained. Every time your eyes met, it was as if the air around you crackled with unspoken words.
"I'm going to um, find a book on this topic," You said slowly getting up. If you remained next to him for another minute, your heart would burst out of your ribcage.
"We have the internet for that," Jeongin raised a suspicious brow, looking at you narrowing his eyes. "Why not just look it up online?"
"Well, the library might have some unique sources," you replied, trying to sound casual as you collected your things. Besides, it’s a good excuse to get out of here for a bit.
Jeongin's eyes followed you, the intensity of his stare making your skin tingle. "Sure," he said, his voice laced with something you couldn’t quite place—was it disappointment or something else?
You could feel his gaze lingering on you even after you turned away, as you walked towards the far end of library, to the secluded section just for Law & Crime.
Even after you walked away, you could almost hear the tension humming between you.
Searching for a book in the dimly lit aisles, you tried to steady your breathing. But every small noise, every rustle of paper seemed amplified, and you couldn’t shake the feeling that Jeongin was somehow still very close.
As you were tracing your fingers the thick spines of the books, you honestly weren't browsing for any answers. You just wanted to get away from Jeongin. A long shadow fell over you, keeping you locked in place.
A hand grabbed the top shelf, you instantly recognised that watch and that ring on the index finger. You stood there without turning around but that strong minty cologne englufed you.
"Found the answers you needed?"
His voice didn't have to sound that deep. His voice didn't have to make your pulse race again. His voice absolutely did not have to make you want to press your mouth on his to shut him up.
You turned your head to the side, trying to keep your thoughts straight. "I'm still," you swallowed. "Finding it."
"For forty minutes?"
Forty minutes passed?! You were so lost in thought, you completely lost track of time. Finally you turned around facing Jeongin, the look on his face was hot enough to start a fire.
His eyes were dark and intense, his expression a mix of frustration and something else you couldn't quite place.
"Jeongin," you started, but he cut you off stepping closer, making your back press against the shelf, there was only a sliver of space between the two of you.
"Do you think I'm stupid?" he asked, his voice a low rumble. "You were hiding."
You opened your mouth to protest, but the words died on your lips as his gaze pinned you in place. The air between you crackled with tension, every inch of space shrinking.
"I wasn't hiding," you finally managed, though your voice was barely a whisper, "I just needed a break"
Jeongin took a step back, crossing his arms, "From what? Me?"
You swallowed hard, your heart pounding in your chest. "Maybe."
Jeongin's eyes searched yours, and for a moment, the rivalry seemed to fade, leaving only the raw intensity of the moment. His hand fell onto your waist pulling you into him, his body pressing on yours.
Your heart began to pound again at the feeling of his touch, your hands fell on his chest, wanting to push him away but somehow your heart couldn't find a way to do so.
"You're lying," he murmured, his breath warm against your skin, "You can't stand being away from me any more than I can stand being away from you"
He turned his head and before you could respond, his lips crashed onto yours, silencing any protest. It was fierce and demanding, a release of all the tension that had been building between you and him.
Four years of frustration, competion and unspoken feelings crashing down right here.
Your eyes widened but you found yourself kissing him back just as fervently, your hands going up from his shirt, tangling in his hair as you pressed closer to his body.
Every touch, every movement of his tongue was electric, your bodies moving in perfect sync, the world around you faded away, leaving only the heat and intensity of the moment.
Teeth against teeth and Jeongin's tongue pushing against yours demanding dominance, nothing seemed to exist other than you and him. He tasted like chocolate and caramel, sweet and rich and goodness, him.
When you finally broke apart, both of you were breathing heavily, Jeongin's eyes were dark with desire, his hand still resting on your waist.
"This doesn't change anything," You whispered though your voice lacked conviction. Jeongin smirked, his thumb brushing against your hip.
"No Darling," He said brushing a strand of hair behind your ear.
"This changes everything." As he pulled you back in for another kiss.
You melted into his mouth, couldn't help but agree no matter how much you hated it. The lines between rivalry and desire had blurred beyond recognition. You could simply drown into him, wetness began pooling between your legs.
Holy fucking shit this man is an incredible kisser.
It was slower, more deliberate, each movement sending shivers down your spine. You moulded into him, forgetting about the project, the library, everything except the feel of his lips on yours and the way his hand held the side of your head with a possessive intensity.
Jeongin's hand went up your skirt, grazing your thigh, the feel of his palm on your skin made you softly moan into his mouth, he eagerly responded with a moan of his own.
He pulled back, catching for a breath before he said, "Tell me to stop before it's too late"
Jeongin's fingers squeezed your thigh making you inhale a long breath, your hands instantly pressed on his shoulders. His fingers went more upwards and stroked the thin fabric covering your wet crotch.
He couldn't suppress a chuckle as he tilted his head to the side, "Last chance darling" He leaned in closer, "Yes. Or No?"
"No," You whispered when you felt his fingers stroke your wetness again. You were gonna hate yourself later, but right now you were so aroused, no other thought made sense in your brain.
"Don't stop" You said as softly as possible and before your words fully left your mouth, Jeongin's lips collided with yours.
Every single thought vanished out of his head as he twisted the lace band of your panties and pulled it down in one strike and the next second a finger went through your wet folds.
You moaned a bit more loudly into his mouth before pulling back as you jerked when another finger entered you.
"So wet for me," He kissed the corner of your lips as his fingers worked in and out of your dripping cunt.
"Can't ignore me that easily can ya?" A sly smirk played in the corner of his lips, the way his fingers worked in you couldn't bring words out of your mouth.
"I hate you," You managed to say through a moany, whispering voice, your fingers pressing on his arms.
"You hate me, but your pussy is begging me for more," Jeongin's voice was deep and almost like growl, it made the tiny hairs in the back of your neck stand up.
There was no slowness in his pace of pumping his fingers inside of you, he went in and out and circled your clit, your back arched against the shelf.
A whimper escaped your lips, Jeongin traced his finger on your lower lip before saying, "This is a library okay?"
You had little time to fully process what he said, Jeongin pulled his fingers out of you and sank onto his knees, spreading your thighs and yanking your skirt up, he dived his face up in your wet heat.
Your hand immediately slapped close over your mouth to prevent the loud moan that threatened to escape, the sensation of Jeongin's tongue on your pussy sent sizzles rush through your body.
Jeongin felt like this was the best thing he ever laid his mouth on. The taste of your sweet pussy was so addicting, he wanted to drown in it and the scent of your arousal drove his senses out of him.
You've had your fair share of men over the years and so has Jeongin with other women, but the two of your felt like this was the ultimate answer, the missing piece of your competitive puzzle.
Jeongin's tongue expertedly licked your pussy, your hand gripped his hair, needing something to hold onto. He slowly grazed his teeth over your tender clit, you shook around him in a soft cry, the sound sent a jolt straight to his cock.
"Jeongin..." You whimpered softy, blood rushing into his brain as he heard his name in that sweetest voice.
"You taste divine darling" Jeongin gave a languorous lick, "I can simply live by eating you out"
Your head fell back at his words and at his tongue that dived inside your dripping cunt, feasting on your arousal.
Jeongin looked up at you, you were covering your mouth silencing your moans while glistening tears were leaking down from the corners of your closed eyes. He thought it was the hottest thing he ever witnessed.
He took the chance to push two of his fingers again, stretching your folds as he gave so much attention to your swollen pearl. He continued in an intense pace, sucking, licking and finger fucking, your arousal dripped down his hands and your thighs.
He lapped it all up, feeling nearly intoxicated by the way you taste.
His cock twitched and was harder than a rock, aching and begging to break free from his pants. But he ignored it even though the pain felt excruciating, he focused solely on your pussy.
Jeongin was animalistic, his mouth and fingers ruthlessly working on you to the point you could see stars erupt behind your eyes. You had never experienced something this pleasuring, it was euphoric.
He groaned into your wet heat when he felt your knees buckle, another lazily, long and languid lick was what undid you, your orgasm flooded his mouth.
You came shuddering, panting heavily. You let go of Jeongin's hair when you felt a soft tissue on your skin, Jeongin wiped and kissed your thighs and fixed your clothes.
As he got up on his feet, his hand was holding you fiercely since you were wobbling because your legs lost balance. If just his tongue and hands made your legs go numb, his cock could do beyond.
"I, oh my God—" Realization began crashing into your head like a current wave. Your academic rival just had you in the library, your cheeks flushed crimson, so pink someone could compare it to blooming roses.
Jeongin pushed his tongue in the inside of his cheek, it's impossible to resist his charm.
The Universe was in your side thankfully today, no one had walked into you— yet, but the what if thoughts couldn't stop playing in your head.
What if a professor or someone had walked in you and him? The two of you pushed your luck as far as it could have gone tonight.
Jeongin pressed onto you again, so close you could feel his bulge on you. It was so hard for him to ignore since his cock was that hard.
He literally wants to fill you right here but the smell of sex soaking the air wouldn't take a genius passing by to put two and two together.
"Still hate me?" he asked so casually, almost as if nothing had happened, as if what you both just did in the fucking library was the most normal thing in the world.
You looked away, unable to answer his question. It was impossible to hate him. You hated yourself if anything because you couldn’t hate him the way you wanted. And after the way he just made you feel right now? Hate wasn't even close to what you felt.
Every time you found a reason to, when he answered questions before you in class or got one percent of a grade above you, his infectious smile and irresistible body would dissolve your resolve.
That dimpled grin of his had a way of sneaking past your defenses, making it harder and harder to convince yourself that he was just your rival.
"I don’t hate you," You admitted quietly, your voice barely above a whisper. The words hung between you, heavy with the truth you’d been avoiding.
Jeongin’s expression softened, the usual smirk fading into something more serious, more vulnerable. "Good," he said, leaning in and pecking your lips.
"Because I never hated you either."
You met his gaze, your heart pounding in your chest as the reality of his words sunk in. All this time, the rivalry, the arguments, the competition—none of it had been about hatred.
It was something else entirely, something you both had been too stubborn to acknowledge until now.
Jeongin reached out, his hand gently cupping your cheek. "This... whatever this is between us, it’s complicated," he said, his thumb brushing softly against your skin. "But I don’t regret it."
You leaned into his touch, closing your eyes for a moment as you let yourself savor the warmth of his hand.
"Neither do I," You whispered. When you opened your eyes, you found Jeongin looking at you with a mixture of longing and determination.
"We’re still rivals," he said, his voice firm but laced with a hint of playfulness. "But that doesn’t mean we can’t have... this." His hand went down and squeezed your ass.
"This?" You echoed, your lips curving into a small smile. "You mean sneaking around in libraries and trying to pretend we don’t want to rip each other’s clothes off?"
Jeongin chuckled, his thumb tracing your lower lip as he bit his. "Something like that. But maybe we can do more than just sneak around."
Your smile widened, the tension between you shifting into something lighter, something full of promise. "I think I can live with that."
His eyes darkened with desire as he leaned in, his lips brushing against yours in a soft, lingering kiss that made your knees weak.
"Then it’s settled," he murmured against your lips. "Tomorrow, after we finish this project, we’ll figure out the rest."
You nodded, too breathless to say anything more. As he pulled away, you felt a sense of anticipation bubbling up inside you, mingled with the thrill of what lay ahead.
The two of you made your way back to the table and packed your belongings, calling it a night and exiting the library. Once you made it to the parking lot, Jeongin's eyes fell on yours, making your heart skip a beat.
"Goodnight, Jeongin," you said softly, stepping back.
"Goodnight," he replied, his eyes lingering on you for a moment longer before he finally turned to leave to his car.
As you watched him walk away, you couldn’t help but smile to yourself.
Things were definitely going to be different from now on. You might still be rivals in the classroom, but outside of it, the possibilities were endless—and you were more than ready to explore every single one.
The lines between rivalry and desire blurred beyond recognition and now there was no turning back.
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Enjoyed this one shot? Consider checking Ribbon and/or Blaze ...or my masterlist for more. Requests? Check 𝚁𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚜 (& 𝚁𝚞𝚕𝚎𝚜)
Leave your comments ;)
Thank you for reading!
xx,Ivyy
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bitterchocoo · 10 months
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Alice in Wonderland
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"Once upon a time...."
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The first Alice walked through the land of Teyvat. Bravely with a sword in her hand, she sliced everything and anything that dared crossed her, leaving chaos in her red bloody path. She was feared and respected by all.
The people will remember her wrath, her cruel smile, her self-centered attitude, and most importantly the sword on her hand.
Who could ever forget someone like that? Someone who sparks fear on others? The very mention of her name brought the high and mighty shaking on their knees. Everyone would always try their absolute best to stay on her good side or else... her sword would be the last thing you'll see. They would praise her, give her offerings and gifts, the lengths of what they would do to stay on her good side...
Through her might and unyielding wrath, she traveled far through her journey. But soon... her wrong doings came right back at her..
She stray too far and lost her way. Giving in to all her sins. Much like the gruesome path that she forged with her hands. Still....
Her life remains a mystery till this very day.
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The second Alice was a tame and tender gentleman.
He helped those in need, he never lost his temper, he never talked bad about others, he's incredibly patient; a kind soul.
Such an enormous contrast with the first Alice.
The people would remember his kindness, his merciful acts, his pacifist route. In return for his deeds they would give him something in return despite how the man seemed uncertain of the gifts, claiming that "there's no need for such things."
What a kind soul... he can't even take a gift without feeling conflicted and guilty...
But of course.... you can't be kind to all.... sometimes kindness and mercy isn't the option...
Madness took ahold of him, shoot him dead to the ground. Blood stained the roses to a bright and somber red. Once loved and enjoyed by all, the man was left for dead
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The third Alice was a lovely girl.
Beautiful, the girl was born into a life so grand. She charmed all the people to her beck and call. How could they resist such a charming young lady? Her smile is as bright as the sun, and her beauty rivals those of a goddess.
Through her charms she created a kingdom, an empire that would rise above them all! This Alice was then crowned turned into a Queen. Ruling all the people there... she lost herself in a crazy dream..
Previously a carefree girl, suddenly has the weight of a whole kingdom on her shoulders.. she must have gone insane by the sudden shift in power and responsibilities. Suddenly she's been made all aware of the things that didn't crossed her mind since the beginning. So afraid of death, the girl was mindless and warped.
The people would remember her beauty and charm.
Once a gorgeous ruler, now she's just an ugly corpse.
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"So... what do you think?"
"...."
"What's with the silence, Alice?"
The man studied the other's expression before letting out a chuckle as he understood what he's thinking at that very moment. It was rather obvious. "Maybe I should start the next one~?"
"The fourth Alice was a pair of siblings who are twins. Straying into Teyvat—" "Shut up."
The man stopped as he glanced back at the man who stopped him with his story. "Oh? You don't want your story to be told? Your name echoes in their tales and songs?"
"You're telling a story of the past... this is not the past.. I—we—"
"Oh ho ho! Don't get ahead of yourself there, Alice~ You've fallen into this wonderland called Teyvat for how long now? 500 years? And now you're saying that? Don't make me laugh!"
"You two are staying here."
"Until we the Heavenly Principle say so."
"Until I say so."
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M. Reader as the Creator
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"Now... how will your story end, Alice~?"
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charlesslut16 · 1 year
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Hii I wanted to request an oscar x reader. Like where they have a fight about something stupid and the reader decides to sleep on the couch but the reader cant sleep without him. Thx
-lagom-
summary : lagom: not too much, not to little, just right. That's was what you had with Oscar...
PAIRING : oscar piastri x reader
WARNINGS : none?
note : i chnaged it a bit but i hope you still like it. Love you!
masterlist 
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You didn't normally argue with Oscar, you mostly had the same thoughts on a thing as you did. But when you did fight, it was normally over absolutely nothing. 
Oscar had been gone for several weeks, and you had just had enough already. You wanted a boyfriend who sees you almost every day. Oscar was traveling country after county for the races.
"I'll be back before you know it, Y/N" you had tears in your eyes.
"I can't do it, Oscar! I can't do it anymore! You never have time for me anymore! You're always away! Do you not care about me anymore? I will keep floating around like a ghost. It's totally fine, let's pretend I just don't exist. You come back for like 2 days, and then you're gone again! I want someone to be with me as much as possible! I want someone to hug!" 
You stopped yelling for a minute and looked at Oscar's expression. You ran out of the room balling your eyes out, realizing you weren't meant to say that. Furthermore, you ran into the bathroom and slammed the door shut. 
You sat on the toilet seat and sulked into your hands. You couldn't help but cry loudly. Not on purpose, obviously. But minutes later you walked out of the bathroom into your guest, room.
As it had been already late, you decided to sleep there. You didn't want to go back to him and apologize, even tho you knew that the words you used were harsh.
You made everything ready for bed and laid on it. Not only that, but you tried to go to sleep, but the argument was stuck in your head. And you couldn't sleep that well without Oscar.
When Oscar was with you, he held you, or you held him. Cuddled until you both fell into a deep slumber. Even when he wasn't with you, he called you, so you could fall asleep while you were facetiming.
But now that the season was getting stressful, Oscar didn't have time for you anymore. He rarely called or texted you. You knew that he was busy, but it still made you upset.
You understood, you always did.
At the beginning of your relationship, you knew what you were getting into, but now it was very hard for you. You wanted a boyfriend that you saw every or every two days. But with Oscar that couldn't be the case.
You were lying in the guest bed and couldn't sleep. You had turned and moved to other positions, but nothing had worked. Oscar was what you needed. His comfort.
But then Oscar knocked on the door and walked in.
"Y/N, can we please talk about this? We need to talk". 
You looked up at him and slightly nodded. He sat on the bed and looked at you with guilt and worry.
"I know I'm traveling a lot. I'm sorry babe. But If you leave me, I won't have anything to love, cuddle and look forward to when I'm coming close to the end of the season. I know this is hard, and I'm sorry I try to fly you out as much as I can, and you know that"
"I'm so sorry, Oscar. It wasn't supposed to come out like that, I mean, it's how I feel but the way I said it wasn't really all that good. I feel horrible, and I do appreciate everything you do for me. I love you, Oscar" 
"I love you too, baby. But, can you please come back to bed. I can't sleep without you, and as I see you can't either." 
You nodded at him and stepped on the floor. He took your hand in his and walked with you to your shared bedroom, so you could cuddle and talk about what else was on your mind.
But one thing was clear. Neither of you could sleep without the other one for very long. You were each other's safe place.
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yooils · 2 years
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RUIN MY PLANS ! sae itoshi x manager! reader. fluff.
☆彡– really, he should have known better than to let someone in so easily– now you've ruined his plans and stained your muddy footprints all over his heart.
part two is out now!
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even in the beginning, it was always just sae and soccer.
(wrong. there was also rin– who used to idolized him as one would a celebrity, and his supportive parents– who sent him snacks and supportive notes when he was abroad.)
nevertheless, there really was no one in the small world of sae itoshi; hidden beneath the bitter guise of frigid thunder and even icier storms– until you first came in as his own brand new manager, (slightly naive) smile differing strikingly from his indifferent countenance.
you've unsolicitedly trampled all over his once-tranquil paradise over the years, sae thinks, because now he can't imagine a future without you– it makes his skin crawl and it feels sickening. how mediocre of him.
and just as sae starts to slowly accept the unfamiliar whirlwind of emotions in his life after denying his feelings for so long, his fragile world collapses again.
"i'm going to resign soon."
oh.
sae's heart sinks to his stomach. he feels like his whole world is falling apart– just like in the movies– and he's infuriated. resentment always came easily to sae, after all; but the fact that it's you makes his stomach churn.
(you, who unexpectedly won a place in his life with your lukewarm anecdotes, stupid laughter and reckless work habits. really, he should have known better than to let someone in so easily– now you've ruined his plans and stained your muddy footprints all over his heart.)
the soft music thrumming through the speakers of an expensive restaurant fuels his rage even more, and you're still sitting there nonchalantly– calm and composed, expression showing no signs of discomfort nor awkwardness.
and it really pisses him off.
he's treated you so well over the years too; trying to be on his best behaviour on his interviews with the press (read: not walking off); listening half-heartedly to your ramblings on how to increase his popularity (though he couldn't care less); and even going so far as to mind his language sometimes.
upon further reflection, maybe he really was the jerk here.
but in contrast to his internal turmoil, sae's demeanour remains tepid save for the slight furrow of his eyebrows. "huh? what's wrong with you?"
it comes out a lot harsher than intended.
you've known sae long enough to read his minuscule body language, and that the slight wince at his own words mean that he's a little apologetic– not that his ego would have ever allowed him to admit it. (if anything, it makes you realise that you've stayed in this job too long for your liking.)
–it's absolutely unhealthy to be around him for so long, you affirm to yourself. that's why you're resigning after six gruelling years.
the way you shift in your chair almost makes him worry.
"it's nothing big, i just want to start a normal life." you respond, albeit tentatively. "maybe cut off travelling around for a bit, have a less stressful job, get a partner–"
he scoffs at that. (it's not due to jealousy, definitely.) "you could do that even while being a manager; it's just a little busier than a normal life. plus, it's not too stressful, is it?"
you work more than 17 hours on busy days– even answering his spur of the moment midnight calls. as much as an eye candy as sae is, you don't think your heart can handle him much longer despite how unaffected you look.
(little did you know, he would've long cut back on the immense workload if you had so much as mentioned it– he would have gone beyond limits to keep you by his side, because you're the only constant in his world of football. and he likes that.)
"i suppose so– i guess settling back into Japan might make dating a lot easier, as well as stop my parent's nagging." you sigh. "they're constantly pestering me on when i'll get married."
sae's had his share of flings in europe before– so he has no idea why his heart races so fast at the mere thought of a reckless idea.
"so date me."
you choke. his face stays stoic, utterly contradicting to the way he swallows thickly– he really is a mess. now he's ruined every single healthy relationship he's ever had in his life.
and never in your life did you think you would get to hear sae itoshi ask you out, even if it was just for his own benefit. "it won't hinder with your work, and it'll be easy to convince your parents, won't it?"
you hate how persuasive he is.
(that night, you end up making a decision that might just cost you more than your sappy feelings.)
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1.8.23
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