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#I just dont want those expectations of those people to RULE me
mantabanter · 2 years
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I know most people don’t REALLY care about the lack of content from me (I post when I post and yall seem just fine with that) but I thought I would mention why I haven’t made anything in... eons.
I had a realization with my own art, that I found it messy and quick and... stagnant. And not only all that, but it felt so completely narrow minded as well. It felt like, well, there were only so many things I could draw and so many ways to draw them, and I had to get them out quick OR ELSE-
It was for social media. I was only thinking about social media and whether my art was postable. I was no longer making beautiful things that I loved. I was making things that I thought maybe the internet would like, things that I probably Should make rather than things I actually wanted to.
So I took some time and had a long think and thought: well, what DO I actually want to make? And it’s still something I’m a bit stuck on. I don’t think I have the skills or the ability to make the things I do want to make. Which is disappointing, but also kind of exhilirating. I get to learn and try something new. But also. I probably have to be kind of shit at it first too. Which is NOT GREAT for my ego ;w; but. Thats how it goes. There are a thousand things I want to make, art, AUs, fandom stuff, non-fandom stuff, but I’m kind of realizing I don’t have the time and the skills for everything. Which is sad because. As someone who is terrible at prioritizing, I don’t know what to focus on or spend my time doing! And theres still that little voice in my head that wants to make something that people will like, that people will see, that will get me my fake internet points and make me feel like I have meaning in my life.
And well. I just don’t know. I think I have to go in the opposite direction of all my instincts. I want to make something that will NOT be popular, something NOT related to fandom, something that can be BAD and it’s FINE but something I’ll CARE about. I want to find satisfaction within my art, something that will last with me, not something that will disappear from my mind once it is done gaining traction online. You know?
And I’m not entirely sure what ticks those boxes yet. But I want to get back into trying.
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windydrawallday · 7 months
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Long-PSA-short of sorts that's more a vent: I was always aware my behavior and way of expressing myself online can surprise many people, especially if they are not used to someone who uses the writing medium as a playful form to tell emotions in a very descriptive way as I do. I'm quite affectionate with words, yes. And I always beg people I hang with personally to let me know if some of that bothers them, curtly of course. So far there have been few instances of individuals confusing those signals with ulterior means, things I assure you there's nothing more than me being friendly and supportive.
Imagine idk an excited dog seeing its owner haha
Until the past week, I found myself being tackled by something that made me almost knock everything aside because it made me realize that probably I'm a walking trigger/squick inducer with even the way I wield words like "love" and "friendship".
Almost...
I'm pretty tolerant of whatever way people conduct themselves in this life, the only moment I flinch is when an individual assumes from my default behavior and presentation that I want to impose my way of life... And nopes.
This is simply how and who I am. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't search for conflict but for understanding. My language for expressing marvel and reflections is like this, never to make the other feel awkward or attacked.
So, it upset me knowing that by wielding this forever welcoming and lovable disposition, I can be something to fear and even despite... to some people.
But, you know? That means that my "love" and "friendship" lifestyle are not made for you, no reason to come back to me and point at it. Just keep walking if you have only rage and rejection to give as a reply to my point of view. Because by wielding rage and rejection, what you only do is burn bridges. To create conflict and assume imaginary antagonistic scenarios where there's nothing of that at all.
You can't create the world you wish to live in by burning bridges.
It took me a lot too to forge who I am right now. I even keep learning and chiseling through traumas and mistakes—kindness and patience taught me more than rage and rejection. And "love" and "friendship" are the bricks I chose to build those bridges. I know everyone else uses different concepts but in the end, we all build bridges. By creating bridges and inviting others to do the same, I expand not only my world, but the other's too!
Isn't that better than demanding to be this or that through a black/white flag of rage and rejection? I think so. And I understand perfectly we sometimes need to be blunt when marking our boundaries. Still, never justifies treating the other bad.
And if some of you find "fake" or distasteful the way I wear this flag of "love" and "friendship" I'm sorry: this place will never be safe for you then. The exit door is always open. Go ahead.
I hope you find your place and flags out there too, but don't forget that to do that you need to build bridges. If you don't want to call it "friendship" call it "glue" or whatever makes you comfortable, but don't kick people like me who fought with claws and teeth to reclaim those words and feelings.
Fight your fight by being a good example, not a bad experience that makes someone never want to deal with something like this again in their life.
"Any color you like, (in the end) they're all blue."
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gingerbreadmonsters · 7 months
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6k in and my head is about to explode. STILL not allowed to say what i want :(
#this fic is going to get negative notes i can already tell lmao#the scope of appeal is so stupidly narrow#but That Does Not Matter#i have to believe that#its for ME#its what i want to see and its what makes me happy#i will never put this in a real post because i would be immediately dragged into the square and burned for hypocrisy#but i think its worth saying#this is rasmr specific i dont know about any other fandoms so dont take this as a universal rule#if you go into your favourite tag variant (e.g. 'redacted [x character name]' or 'redacted [genre]')#and sort by 'top' rather than 'latest'#i would like you to scroll down until you find fic#by which i specifically mean PROSE - not bulletpoints or hcs or matchups or those sorts of things#(this is not to say that those things aren't good or worthy of respect - they ARE - but that's not what i'm talking about here)#i would like you to just think about how long it takes you to find a fic in there#because surprise! it's almost certainly longer than you would hope or indeed expect#now........ i wonder why that is?#i don't mean to sound egotistical or selfish or self-aggrandising through all this#but.... you know. fic writers - during their one life on this earth - put in an AWFUL lot of their real time and energy and love into this#into writing things for other people who they will never know or meet to enjoy for FREE on the internet#i don't think you can be surprised that it's a bit disheartening to do all that and then be met with basically silence#it's like cooking for people yk?#some fics are more complex/longer/time-intensive than others - in the way that making a five-course meal is more work than making a sandwic#but if someone made that food for you - whether it was a cookie or an entire christmas dinner - you'd still say thank you...... right?#you wouldn't just take it from them and leave the room - then eat it in total silence where they can't see - and then not say anything...?#if you liked it - or even if you didn't! - wouldn't you still say thank you? wouldn't you tell them that it was nice and you enjoyed it?#that you liked the ingredients they chose or the way they cooked it or the toppings they chose to put on it?#for the sake of everyone whose ever cooked you a meal i hope you would#because i'll tell you something for free - you will be scrolling on that tag for an uncomfortably long time. why is that?#because reblogs/comments/kudos/likes are to fic writers what 'thank you' is to a cook
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transgaysex · 2 years
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amount of people ive had a hand in getting kicked out of a college gay club: 2
#wind howls#um. its not a goal of mine its just surprising that its happened twice#the first time was half for racism accusations and half for transphobia ? and also bc the girl didnt believe women were oppressed anymore ?#which is worrisome considering she was also in the feminism club. but not my business i guess that was like 3 years ? 2 years ago#but anyway remember last week when i was upset out of my mind and liveblogging racism live from gay club.#i talked to an admin and after they talked abt it with the other admins the person is likely getting the boot + theyre bringing in-#the schools social workers to make the rules against racism more strict (or at least enforce those better)#in the first case i wasnt the only one who witnessed it (a big argument happened in the messenger group and then miss girl decided-#she wanted to be transphobic towards me specifically so she got her ass kicked out after i talked 2 the admins) but this time around like#i wasnt the only one there ? but i guess im the only one who reported it or smthn idk. either way i dont go around telling admins-#'hey man kick this person out. heres all the shit they did and i want them out' i just tell them what happened and leave it in their hands#i guess im not used still in people actually taking me seriously and the other party actually like. gettinf a serious consequence#im always expecting them to just get a slap on the wrist. anyway#i hope this makes white people in the gay club more afraid of what theyre gonna say next when it comes to race !#because im sick of them getting too comfortable ! you wanna act racist ? do that outside and stay there. anyway#this was just an update on that whole thing. leaving it to rest noe
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poppy-metal · 3 months
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had a thought of fwb patrick calling you to let you know he fucked someone else (he is SO good at communication if he cares about preserving a relationship) and being like “i kept calling them your name but they didn’t feel like you :/ ”
crying because you're probably the one who said you should see different people - scared of getting attached to patrick and inevitably getting your heart broken - but you know you can't resist him either, not when he speaks to you in that voice and looks at you with those eyes like he's already thinking about being balls deep inside you and is just letting you have your little moment till it happens, so yeah. walls are put up. you'll let him bounce you on his cock in the back of his van, but you wont be exclusive with him.
it kinda backfires on you because you're the one who finds it hard to actually fuck other people, so insistent that you wanted to - and yet whenever you're with another man it just feels wrong when he puts his hands on you. you purposely refuse to think about patricks side of things. you're not special. thats why you made the fucking rule. you knew that from the start.
so when patrick calls you drunk and he starts to tell you about this girl he was just fucking - you're ready to hang up - ready to try and brush it off and pretend it doesn't hurt, you dont care, its what you expected, this is why the rules were in place anyway, dont fucking cry - but then his voice reaches through you through the receiver, all scratchy and rough when he tells you - "s'not the same, though."
and you furrow your brows. curious enough to not hang up just yet. still sick at the knowledge he was with someone else, maybe this is self punishment - hearing the gritty details will detach yourself from him further. which is what you need. "what wasn't the same? pussies pussy, isn't it."
patrick makes a sound on the other end of the line. one of obvious disagreement. "no." he says, seems to collect himself to say something more - you hear faint background sounds. something metallic. his keys maybe? the creak of his mattress. he just got home probably. is getting into bed. "there's pussy and there's your pussy."
you find yourself also getting into your own bed. settling against your pillows. you try not to react to that, press the phone closer to your ear. "uh huh," you say, going for sarcastic. you want him to elaborate.
and because patricks a fucking talker, he does exactly that. "you've totally fucking ruined me for other women. i mean, unless someone is cool with me being balls deep and saying another womans name. that woman is you, by the way. fucking mood killer."
you hear the switch of a lighter being flicked on. you can imagine him lounging back in his bed after a night out - he's probably just in his boxers - maybe even naked - lazily pulling drags from a cigarette as he talkes to you. phone balanced between his cheek and shoulder.
"do you want me to feel bad for you?" you tell him, and there's perhaps a smile in your voice. perhaps. "poor patrick."
"you should." he tells you, voice scratchy like how it is right after he took a hit. you hear the exhale as he lets the smoke out. patrick looks unfairly good with a cigarette. even though he should quit. you wonder if hes holding it between his fingers or if its trapped between his lips as he fiddles with something else. "considering its your fault. your pussy gave me whiskey dick for other girls."
you try not to let that mean anything. fail. you bite your bottom lip.
"so you were thinking of me?" you hate the note of hope in your voice. god, you're pathetic. you feel the power of the situation slipping from you.
the bed creaks again from his side as he readjusts. picturing him isn't helping. half dressed or nude. half dressed or nude. how unkempt is his hair right now? you wish he was in front of you. "i was going down on her," he starts and you frown.
"ugh-"
"shut up. i was going down on her and she was making these sounds right? and i just kept thinking-" he says your name. over and over again. "- and 'her pussy feels better than this'. had to fuckin. close my eyes and imagine that shit - that last time i fucked you? when you sank down on my shit and just - fucking bounced on it - d'you remember that? no one fucks my dick like you do. shits insane. anyway, i was thinking about that - and i guess i said your name or something - she's slapping the shit out of me out of nowhere. kicked me out." he lets out a long suffering sigh. "this is a fucking problem."
you roll over onto your stomach. kick your feet in the air behind you. "oh, its a problem, huh?" you pout out your bottom lip. "poor patrick. so pussy whipped he cant slut himself out. im crying for you."
"oh, fuck off." he grunts. "like you dont think about me when you're getting pounded by some pencil dicked bitch."
"and how do you know their dick sizes? maybe im getting 'pounded' by monster cock every weekend."
"nah." is patricks simple reply.
you glare even though he cant see you. "the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
"it means." patrick says, deliberately. "that if you were taking cock from anyone with a big dick your cunt wouldn't be as tight as it is."
you swallow. vulgarity from patricks lips shouldn't sound as good as it does.
"vaginas dont work like that, stupid."
"baby." he says it condescendingly. a gush of wet soaks your pussy. fuck. his voice. he shouldn't be allowed to call you that. new rule. that you'll impose later. "you're as tight as a virgin down there. I'm not saying you'd be loose, but - i definitely wouldn't have to pin you down." if you're slipping your hand under yourself to touch yourself, no you're not. "- and fucking bully my cock into you."
you tremble a little. "you have an unnaturally big cock its -" you swallow "- its not any indication of the men i sleep with."
"sure." he tells you. he doesn't believe you. fucking smug asshole. "so you're saying you dont think of me?"
you lie, "that's what im saying."
its quiet on the other side of the line. your hand comes out of your panties, you look down at your phone but he hasn't hung up.
"huh." he says eventually.
"what?" you sit up.
"it's just interesting."
"what about it is interesting?"
"nothing." he replies. his tone is unreadable. you cant tell if hes amused or pissed or just doesn't care. you wish you could see his face. when he's irritated, his jaw works back and forth. when he's entertained, his lips are quirked. you wonder what his hands are doing too. if he's fidgeting with his fingers to show anxiety, or if his knee is bouncing with contempt. "i wanted to tell you I'll be out of town for a few weeks."
you blink. this is - startling. sudden. whiplash. you open and close your mouth like a fish.
weeks. plural. the longest you've gone without seeing patrick is three weeks. and that's when you're both busy. anxiety enters your chest. a fissure of it.
"oh?" you try to sound casual. "how long?"
"dont know." he exhales through the receiver. "its just some tennis shit. I'll be in florida for a month."
"oh."
he says your name again.
"yeah?" your mind is drifting. a strange feeling. like you already miss him when he's not even gone yet. a month without patrick zweig... without his hands and his face and his lips and body on yours -
"I'm gonna miss you." he says. he sounds deeply sincere. like, intensely so. your heart thumps in your chest, a wild thing. you feel like suddenly, your response is very important. you lick your lips. the urge to tell him you'll miss him too on the tip of your tongue -
you say - "you'll miss my pussy, you mean."
silence for a beat.
then he huffs a laugh. "yeah. yeah, i will." he doesn't sound amused though. "gonna pass the fuck out, i think. night."
"nigh-" you start but the line clicks.
he hung up.
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opal-owl-flight · 9 days
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I didnt expect to see Octavio in the Grandfest...and neither did 3, for that matter.
In my interp of the lore, Inkadia is aware of who he is. 3 and the platoon have been fighting for years with the Inkadian powers that be to recognize Octaria as a legitimate nation, for it to be held in equal regard.
That day finally came on the Grandfest. Or at least, the beginnings of it, anyway.
More on the two's convo below!
"Hm! |...Sir Octavio! Im...surprised to see you here.|"
"What. You think Octaria doesnt deserve to celebrate the biggest event in the continent alongside you squits?"
"|No! No! Im...|" they chuckle, a smile breaking across ther face. "|...glad to see that you made it!
But I dont remember arranging a pass for you...|"
"Aah. Well. Your old man pulled some strings. That, and the Inkadian and Splatlandian powers that be invited me themself."
Now 3s surprised. "|...Really?|"
"Mhm. I brought the dome-dwellers up here with me. Look around! Didnt you notice them in your matches?"
Are they dreaming?
They never noticed them at all. It wasnt even like there was much of a difference. For months there have been an increase of migrators and visitors. Allowed to turf. Allowed to stay. Allowed to...
Live in the sunshine.
They stagger, which made the Octarian king hold out a tentacle to steady them. "You alright, bucko?"
3 nods. "|A-a little overwhelmed, thats all.
All those patrols. All those deserters I helped to assimilate. All that struggle they had to go through to escape Octaria-
And now, its just...so...|"
"Easy?"
3 nods again, silently.
"Mmmm. I'll admit though, not everyone is keen on just letting people explore. Not everyone was keen on coming up here for this festival, either.
...too much, has happened for them to trust Inkadia again."
3 hangs their head low. He held their chin and made them look up again.
"...But you. You and your platoon of hooligans. Youve been changing that. You are Inkadians that went the extra mile in understanding us. Listening to us, respecting our decisions. Allowing us to rule our nation as we wished.
It means...a lot. More than you know.
To the point where even those who dont trust Inkadia are at least respecting it from a distance now."
The conversation is cut short by a couple of young Inkfish kids.
"Oaah...its the Octarian king!"
"Hes REAL!!!"
"Of course Im real, squirts! Who'dya think leads all the Octarians?"
"Yeah!!" squeaks another kid, who waddles closer. "Our king is so nice! He brought us up here to play!!"
"Woaah, really?"
"Mhm." He grunts. "Everyone deserves the sunshine."
The kids eyes all shine. Theyve had ex-Octarian friends who spoke much kinder words about the king. It was easy for them to accept the fact that hes just there, grinding wasabi peacefully. Talking to the Inkfish who wants merch. Having generally gruff but...daresay, gentle vibes.
Octavio grunts out a chuckle. "Are you enjoying the surface, little one?"
"VERY!! I made new friends!! The sun feels so warm, ah!! The music! The music!! Oh, so wonderful!!!"
3 smiles again...
"Oooh... wait, I can finally ask!!" squeaks one of the kids. "Mister king, sir! Did you really fight someone called Agent 3???"
3s smile becomes a nervous one. Octavio picks that up immediately.
"Why yes. Little hooligan, that one. Ack! Gave me a headache like nothing else!"
"Did they convince you? To be good now?"
"Mh. Its a little more complicated than that, kiddoes. But I..." he sighs. "...I guess, they did."
"Wooow!!"
"So cool...I wish I could meet them!!"
"Well..."
Octavio sees, from the corner of his eye, 3 making the subtlest movement of shaking their head.
"Its said...that theyre one of the top players in the leagues. If you look hard enough, youll find em."
The Octarian kid looks straight at 3, knowingly. The two other kids notice -- and look at the golden badge they hung around their neck.
"Oh! Oh! Youre a top player, right?"
"Do you think youve met them?"
Octavio is doing EVERYTHING he can to not laugh.
"|...Im not sure. Im not exactly sure what to look for.|"
"Ill help your search, all of you." Octavio grunts again. "What exactly to look for."
3 looks at him, eyebrow raised.
"Theyre ruthless on the field. Whether it be a real fight, or in the leagues. They think on their feet, move faster than most eyes can register.
But underneath that cold efficiency...
Is one of the gentlest, most understanding squids I know."
3s expression changed from nervous to...comfort? Theyre not sure what it is, but its warm.
"Watch for a player who goes out of their way to be nice to kids and beginners. One who's a good sport in the cutthroat top leagues. One who's willing to share their battle tech to anyone, something that most top players keep under wraps.
One who's motivated to help you become the best version of yourself.
No matter how long it takes."
Octavio sees 3s shoulders relax a bit. He smiles.
"Yeah, I may have fought them a lot, back in the day. But now, Id really rather think of them as a friend."
The kids start bickering about which player it could be. The Octarian kid already knew. Shes seen them before, after all. She points at them now.
"Hehee! Maybe you should try looking in a mirror, miss. That sounds a lot like you!"
The other kids stop bickering and take a closer look.
"Huh?? Them? Hmmm...now that you say it-"
"Shes right!!! Its right in front of us!! FOR3VRFRSH! Agent 3!!!"
Octavio grinds one of his wasabi sticks a little harsher on the table to get their attention. "Kids, kids! Remember what the legend says!"
That confirms it!! They shush each other, but are still sqealing quietly. They look up at 3 again, the new info putting the top player in a different light. They threw a glance at Octavio before squatting down to their level.
"Yes," they rasp. "Me and the king...were more friends now...than enemies. Time...passes. People...change.
Remember that, okay?"
"Yes miss! We'll remember!!"
They wink. "Good...now...Stay Forever Fresh!"
Octavio looks on, leaning slightly to whisper to the floating squid jerky next to him.
"You did good with this one, Cuttlefish."
He says nothing, like during this whole conversation. One thought was in his head.
He didnt do that. That...was all 3. They were better than he ever was. He only wished...
He didnt push them as hard as he did.
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HOO BOY THATS A DOOZY OF A READ. I didnt PLAN for the beginnings of the acceptance of Octaria to come this early but Nintendo gave me material!! A lot of this is still semi-rough so forgive me if the pacing is whack. I just had to make and write something!!
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Keith dating hcs please!! and im so glad that their is people still doing voltron! i love that show so so much and I feel like the fandom is dying so quickly😭
hiii!!
ofc i can do keith dating headcanons lovely! im so glad you like voltron too, its taken over my life once again and its sad coming back to the fandom with just a little of us left but i want to continue posting/writing about voltron to keep it alive on tumblr with some other talented creators!!
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✦KEITH KOGANE DATING HCS✦
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✦before confessing his feelings to you, he had to ask lance for some help
✦it took a lot of contemplating and hyping up but he finally got there!
✦keith would struggle a little at the beginning of the relationship since he's worried you'll leave him for someone better. he would spend nights just staring at his ceiling and thinking how much better off you would be with someone else.
✦though overtime those thoughts would fade away but not completely.
✦he would try to flirt with you, but he'd become very flustered and awkward but you thought it was very adorable by the effort he'd put into it!
✦he is very against PDA (aka public display of affection)!!
✦if you break it, expect a very grumpy, pouty and flustered keith.
✦keith is VERY clingy in your relationship, he’ll just want to constantly be near you especially in social situations.
✦keith gets jealous, he just does. he's scared people are gonna steal you from him.
✦once while on a mission with him, this alien took it upon themself to start flirting with you (because who wouldn't😍), keith caught up on this and let me tell you, he was mad.
✦he completely broke the 'no PDA' rule. he wrapped you around in his arm and said "excuse me, but she's taken" with a deadpanned face. man was not having it.
✦i feel like his galra side would make him very territorial, which includes things that belong to him and his personal space.
✦your his and he's yours.
✦surprisingly the only thing that he let pass from his 'no PDA' rule is hand holding, ONLY if he knows that no one else notices (especially Lance or Pidge, they just love to tease him).
✦but they know, they're just snickering quietly to themselves, but shiro keeps them quiet for keith's sake(space dad!!)
✦okay if you guys sleep together, keith demands morning kisses. its the first thing he needs wants. when he wakes up don't be surprised to be showered in kisses!
✦this man does NOT care about morning breath, he just loves you so much!!
✦though, if you sleep in your own beds let say, he'll just brush his teeth (as will you🫵)
✦i feel like keith's hugs will be super comforting and long, especially if he's feeling a little sleepy (and he may just hug you around the other paladins if he is really tired)
✦(yk sometime you just got to break the rule, he just can't resist hugging you. it just makes him feel so warm and comforted.)
✦we all know that keith loves you to bits but he does get embarrassed about what the others will think when they see him so lovey dovey and intimate.
✦he needs to keep the tough guy act okay, its a full-time job (its really not)
✦but just keep reminding him to be himself ☻!!
OKAY WE'VE MADE IT TO CUDDLING!!!!
✦(im sorry i just love cuddles💗 ahhhh)
✦this man would sell his soul for a cuddle from you. IN PRIVATE sadly.
✦he loves little snuggles before drifting off to sleep after an exhausting day.
✦he loves when you pepper kisses all over his face, neck, collarbone and shoulders
✦he also loves when you play or run your fingers through his hair, he finds it so soothing.
✦also don't deny any of his affection! IT WILL SEND THIS DUDE INTO SEVERE POUTY-NESS.
✦he just loves you so so so much!! so it will break his heart (not literally).
✦your the definition of the sun to his moon.♥︎
(i dont think i used that correctly ☹︎ but trust the thought process)
✦you always have to remind him that if he dies, you die too. in hope to make him less reckless on missions (he's still reckless).
✦also before he leaves for a mission he always gives you a sweet little kiss at the forehead/temple and definitely expect a kiss when he gets back!!
☾ ⋆・゚:⋆・゚
✦in the end he loves you dearly and would do anything for you ☻♥︎
★。\|/。★
-love,
. marra✧˖*°࿐
★。/|\。★
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redr0sewrites · 5 months
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ATSV Characters with a Goth S/o
heeeeeyyyyyy guys 😇 *slowly sliding the 100+ REQUESTS in my inbox to the side to make room for a new special interest*
🥀Cw: none, mostly fluff!!!
🥀Pairing(s): Hobie x reader, Miles x reader, Miguel x reader, Spot x reader
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Hobie
he would LOVE any type of alternative partner tbh- he just LOOOVESSS that ur goth and will support you 100%
people who go against societies expectations/standards and don't fit in with the norm intrigue him, and your style is probably what piqued his interest in the first place
y'all definitely wear matching fits sorry i don't make the rules- hobie just can't pass up the opportunity to match w you!!! whenever you go to meetings within the spider society he always brings you along, regardless of whether or not you're a spiderperson and hobie loves showing off you and your style
MAJOR "THATS MY PARTNER‼️" VIBES
look me in the eyes and tell me hobia would not absolutely rock some funky eyeliner LIKEEEEE- he def lets you practice on him and will do your makeup for you too!!!
hobie loves thrifting with you, there is no way he isn't a major thrifter and you both definitely DIY a lot of your clothes
HE MAKES YOU GUYS MATCHING PUNK BATTLE VESTS FOR YOUR ANNIVERSARY, AND MAKES SURE THAT IT MATCHES UR AESTHETIC AS WELL!!
hobie absolutely has BLESSED music taste, but while he usually listens to rock, punk, dad rock, or post-punk type of music, i def see him enjoying more gothic/new wave music- especially if u introduce it to him!!!
i see him enjoying bauhaus, sisters or mercy, scary bitches, etc- he'll also give YOU a lot of music recommendations and help to expand ur taste!
hobie would also accompany you to any protests or conventions that you wanted to attend, and would act as your scary dog privileges
YOU TWO DEFINITELY GO TO CONCERTS TOGETHER OMG. I TOTALLY SEE THAT AS A SPONTANEOUS DATE THAT YOU TWO ENJOY A LOT
honestly hobie is a lovely partner to have if you are goth, and he's not only supportive but VERY enthusiastic about your fashion and lifestyle!
Miles
hes such a sweetheart!!! he definitely supports you if you're goth and asks a LOOOT of questions lmao
miles draws you and your fashion a lot, and will def design makeup or eyeliner ideas for you too!!! while ik this is more associated with punk, i also see miles drawing you a few custom patches and stuff like that
your kind of like his muse in a way, and miles just really enjoys sketching you, especially since you have such a unique aesthetic and such cool outfits
HE HAS DEFINITELY GRAFFITIED U SOMEWHERE‼️
he loves watching you get ready and do your makeup. seeing you do perfect eyeliner wings and heavy makeup in general lowkey relaxes him, and he just loves admiring you
im sorry but miles knows absolutely nothing about goth music or culture, ur gonna have to introduce him to a lot of the songs/bands!!!
while i don't think he's huge on the music at first, i think it would grow on him over time. its definitely the type of thing that he loves because YOU love it, and he sees how mu much you enjoy it so he starts listening to it as well so he can talk to you about it
i think his favorite band would be the cure, and his fav songs would either be boys dont cry or the walk (both by the cure- idk why thats so specific but they just kinda fit his vibe yk?)
miles likes holding hands a lot, and he loves when you wear rings or gloves or something along those lines because it just reminds him so much of you! your hands just feel different compared to other peoples and he just loves how unique you are
if you have a lot of piercings, miles would definitely ask about them or buy you specific jewelry for piercings!!!!
overall, very very cute and supportive about your style!!! (he lowkey gives bi wife energy, and iyk what in talking ab then ily mwah)
Miguel
he's pretty indifferent to your style at first, i don't see him as the type to judge much based on appearances. its your personality that really throws him for a loop, and a part of him admires your dedication to making yourself look how you want to look and truly living to be your best self, regardless of what others think
if you think miles knows nothing about being goth then be prepared for miguel bc he knows NOTHINGGGG- no music, no history, no political views, zero, zilch, nada, goose egg
if he cares about you i do see him being intrigued about your style, and once you two are officially dating is when he'll show more interest in your personal fashion sense
he strikes me as the type to like, NEVER listen to music, so he literally only listens to the music you like!!! he does find himself occasionally humming the tune of some strawberry switchblade song or casually listening to a siouxsie and the banshees song while he works, and over time you influence him a LOT with your music taste. he definitely associates any and all goth music with YOU, and that's probably why he starts enjoying it.
he's a "hand on you at all times" type of guy, and while he is rarely touchy with others, miguel is definitely keeping you close. your fashion makes that convenient for him, and he loves pulling you into a kiss by grabbing onto your belt loop or something of the sort
miguel loves how you look with and without makeup on and isn't afraid to tell you that, however, he really likes it if you incorporate his colors or color scheme into your makeup one day. he'll never admit it, but you keep catching him admiring you with the smallest smirk on his face every few seconds
if anyone ever gave u shit for what you wear and how you dress, especially someone in the spider society, you'd practically have to restrain miguel from drop kicking them across nueva york- he doesn't want anyone to be rude to you , and while he knows you can stand up for yourself, he just gets protective at times
Spot
goth? whats that???
he's lowkey such a nerd, and spends too much time being science-y and planning on how to beat spiderman to actually get caught up on fashion
spot doesn't know how he pulled you tbh, but he appreciates you nonetheless!!! he thinks you and your aesthetic are something to be admired, and will unabashedly tell EVERYONE he knows about you
he will shoplift any clothing or jewelry that you want, and he'll even take you to other dimensions where there are better alternative clothes as well
spot doesn't really have a face to do makeup on, but he'll offer to do yours for you! surprisingly enough he's pretty good at it, though he does work pretty slowly
spot loves fiddling with your accessories, whenever he's standing near you he's always reaching out to touch you in some way shape or form. he loves playing with any chains or necklaces you wear, and will help adjust them so that they lay correctly
he helps you get ready in the morning!!!!! if ur the type of goth to wear corsets, he makes lacing them up SO easy and will gladly do it for you
i personally hc that spot HATES seeing himself in mirrors/pictures, it reminds him sm of what he used to look like, but he LOVES taking photos of you and your style!! whenever you are wearing a cute outfit or have funky makeup on, spot adores just taking photos of you
if you ever did a makeup look inspired by him and his spots he would probably CRY :(
URGRHHRHHRRR I LOVE ATSV SMMMMMMM!!!! this post will DEFINITELY have a pt2 w more characters!!!!! i swear tho atsv literally pulled me out of the most horrendous burnout ever i FELT the artblock and writing block lift off of my body as i watched it. IM SO INVESTED I MADE A SPIDERSONA...
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thatdeadaquarius · 2 years
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SAGAU / Isekai Genshin:
You can still use your characters! ... as in possessing them 👻
(all art by me down below, hope its decent lol - did it for u guys and myself i mean what )
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Edit 9/7/23: 1,500+ NOTES??? BRO WHAT!! THABK YOU <3
Edit 12/24/23 + 4/5/24:
My dumbass forgot to put this here .-.
Anywya this is a full length fanfic now ;)
PART 1 (you're here!) / Part 2
So.
You got sucked into a video game. 
Crazy, but it happens ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯
yknow how it issss
...you very quickly discover that unfortunately video game rules still apply...
which wouldn't normally be an issue! like, needing to use the bathroom in the middle of a fight? Nope! minor cuts and bruises like papercuts, only actual enemies or fall damage counting? hell yeah that'd be great (theoretically no chronic pains if you got that?? hmmmm unsure)
see the issue comes when you realize, you as a player, don't have a "character" that's all your own
there's aether/lumine yeah.. but bc the game's real now, they're their own people, and you didn't wake up to find yourself as a blonde twin...
the closest you can describe your form as is .. like a seelie?
or like the way ghosts look in game?
but a lot more "starry"
like your specterlike, but you look like you got filled up with stars and the milky way, maybe a reference of you being from another universe/world? (aether/lumine/dainsleif/khaenriah star symbol reference secret thEORY-)
but yah.
you also got just, white eyes.
like, not iris, not pupil. like your pupil and iris got erased
you gotta admit, at least you look really aesthetic now.
(u also got a little cape and hood on at all times, and you cant take it off to see your starrified hair >:/ ,very Blue Diamond-esque, look up Steven Universe, Blue Diamond if you dont know who im talking about)
so needless to say, as soon as you sort of glitched your way into existence you were HYPE
i mean ur ACTUALLY IN TEYVAT WITH THE BOYSSSS
...then you realize your a spooky-no-character-to-pilot-around-thus-no-character-model-body-for-you thingy
and that you cant touch stuff!! >:(
like wth!!!
thats just downright unfair.
so, you figure if you got no body to be.... you gotta find a new "character" to pilot >:)
...
I choose you, yellow fungi!
...
....
you're in the fucking woods (Sumeru somewhere obv, u knew that the moment you opened ur eyes),
what'd you expect?? an archon??
..wait a minute. can you possess an archon-
these kinda thoughts plague your first few days of irl genshin impact playing
a rishabold tiger? yep.
a sumpter beast? kinda slow and heavy feeling but yeah.
...you also try a ruin machine LOL
by far, the fungi and ruin machines are the best to possess, mostly because you can remain upright with those
(tho u did find some type of flying monkey that wasnt in game, but its like,, a real world and jungle now so that makes sense there'd be more complexity + stuff)
you do eventually think you should try and possess a person at this point... but ur kinda nervous 👉👈
its ur first time doin this okay nobody explained the basics to you youve been winging for a week now!
will your mind be replaced with theirs? it hasn't been so far with the creatures/bots
and as far as you can tell, they kinda just-
forget what happened or "wake up" after you possess them
(the tiger you were for a day looked confused as hell when it realized that there was a new pile of fruit next to it when it "woke up", it was your way of saying thank you to the animals of the jungle, u left them little piles of food you collected running around as them)
so THEORHETICALLY-
you should be good to go and possess a random poor eremite
... you figure you want to possess something human-like eventually even if you get a puppet body like wanderer/raiden so...
here goes nothing...
so it's been 2 weeks since you've been forcefully yanked into teyvat, and by the second week, you were trying to possess eremites
which! worked out!
mostly..!
you kinda convinced the entirety of two eremite camps that a certain part one of sumeru's forests is hella haunted bc ppl keep "blacking out" and doing things they don't remember doing, yknow... like possesssion LMAO
they kinda ran off to escape you but, hey!
experiment #2: people possession, success!!
now you were kinda convinced of this when you realized no matter the angle the animals and machines of sumeru didnt react to you getting super close to them (you dont have to touch something to posses it, just look at it really, but you wanted to test limits, so you walked up to sumpter beasts and fungi and ruin machines)
but no one can see you.
you don't have a "character" most of the time, you can float and glide around the ground like scaramouche lol
you cant touch stuff bc of this, you cant smell stuff (u saw the eremites campfires & couldnt smell the smoke until you were them)
you cant eat stuff w/o a body, so.. it makes sense that the eremites and passing merchants, cant see you when you float around, trying to reorient yourself after 2 weeks of experimenting
:( ur only a lil sad about it... but mostly not bc lol u got possession powers so trade off u guess
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the first time you see a vision-bearer you literally scream
LMAO
ur so lucky u cant be seen or heard
bc Collei would have def screamed back lol
needless to say u stalk the forest ranger- ALL DAY.
Collei goes on patrol around the woods? you go on a patrol.
collei goes to visit other forest rangers? you "visit" other forest rangers at base (lol u def possess a guy who was asleep on a bench nearby & wake up to go talk to Collei "in-person", poor guy was so worried he sleep walked/talked so hard he went to see Tighnari an hour later lmao)
welp, you decide this is your life now, follow Collei everywhere, talk one-sided to Collei until you can possess a forest ranger w/o it being suspicious (dont wanna turn the poor rangers into the terrified eremites from a week or two ago...)
then, after you get the courage and erase the paranoia that tighnari can just... somehow hear your ghostly bullshit-
u do the same to Tighnari (then Cyno when he visits! no u didnt squeal, so what, nobody can hear you- )
Tighnari begins to get suspicious about 3 weeks into this routine.
he's been starting to collect and start a file on all the rangers or nearby villagers that've started randomly "blacking out/sleep walking" in the evenings usually
(u possess as close to nighttime as u can so it seems like sleepwalking)
So when Cyno comes back from a mission gone wrong,
having nearly been decapitated by a rogue flying ruin machine, only to black out and come to standing calmly 10 feet further than he remembered being 1 minute ago...
Tighnari's suspicions are confirmed, and he launches into researching this phenomenon.
his first thought is something like the aranara, but that doesn't account for the effect this thing is having on people
after all, what little forest spirit is strong enough to-
-control humans??
Tighnari begins to get the sense he's in over his head after he finds himself pushed into going into Sumeru City in order to collect more library books or ask around if the blackouts have spread to the city people
he answer is negative, on both accounts.
and he spends about one half of the day walking around, and the other reading up all he can on mythical creatures or ailments
Tighnari gives up for the day, and as he makes his way back to Ghandarvaville, he almost gets ambushed by some particularly nasty muggers
...and then he wakes up 20 feet away, his denro vision thrumming with power, full of worry and fondness for himself??, (just like Cyno said he felt happen to him..)
...Tighnari decides he needs reinforcements.
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YOU GUYS-
UR LOCAL ZODIAC SIGN OBSESSED W/GENSHIN HIT A CHARACTER LIMIT ON A POST FINALLY. 😦
??? THIS WOULDVE BEEN LONGER BUT I BARELY GOT SPACE FOR THIS- I- EVEN THE QIQI POST DIDNT HIT LIMIT-
uh cya ig!!
Safe travels lmao,
💀♒️
♡the beloveds♡
@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist @revonie / @hat-on-a-cat / @takottai / @sickly-falling (?) / @iruiji
(Sorry about the late tag! I forgot to update my taglist before i posted this 💀 my bad guys)
Also if the people who got put there who i couldnt find a blog for see this, idk what went wrong ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ - maybe check and see if ur setting for "being able to be searched/looked up" is turned on?? Idk man
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sxorpiomooon · 30 days
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RAHU
paid readings
tip me
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Rāhu (राहु) is the name of an Asura (demon) whose head was cut off by Viṣṇu. When the gods produced the Amṛta by churning the ocean, he disguised himself as a god and drank some of it. But he was detected by the gods and produced before Viṣṇu who cut off his head. Sūrya and Soma (the sun and moon), when noticed him drinking it and realised what was going on immediately told Nārāyaṇa (Viṣṇu), who instantly cut off Rāhu’s head with his discus. As the head contained Amṛta it became immortal and came to represent the ascending nodes of the moon’s orbit. The body of Rāhu, according to the Puranic notion, was called Ketu, and represented the descending nodes. Rāhu is defined according to texts in dealing with śilpa (arts and crafts), known as śilpaśāstras. Rahu is spoken of as the chief of those who have possesing personality. In Buddhism, rahu is defined as a dark monster / planet who is responsible for the phases of the moon by swallowing it. Rahu is supposed to be a mighty and naughty child of maya(illusion) and thus has a lot of dualities attached to its illusory nature.All sorts of poisonous chemicals like fertilizespesticides, and disinfectants are also ruled by rahu. Wherever it sits in your chart it manifests itself exactly like that. Anything that can fool you is rahu whether it's photography or video games. The karma that you are going to create in this life in the future is rahu. The thing that everyone needs to understand about rahu and ketu is that they are both outcast planet they dont act in a certain expected way. They surprise you. Anything that is material and a short cut is rahu. Rahu always wants fame and attention. Rahu is addiction since its obsessed with things bc he has no stomach to see if it has enough. Rahu is always trying to show you the different realm whether its good or bad. Anything that shades out and protects you from the sun is rahu. Wherever rahu aspects it gives something foreign. Anything that explodes.
Rahu in our generation and day to day life
The Internet for me is the biggest rahu example in our daily life now think of something that tends to happen a lot with the internet, illusion whether it's of beauty filters or people lying and then getting caught lying. On the internet we get influenced so easily that also while knowing that things might not exactly be how they are shown. Every once in a while we see random people blowing up on the internet out of nowhere. One of the biggest examples is that the internet is often used to spread lies and misinformation regarding things which is what rahu is. The influencers or the people that get popular are unconventional in some way whether it's regarding their way of living or them just dropping out of college and choosing to take a career path(living as an influencer) that is not something that is usually done by the people in the society. Good and strong rahu placements are also seen in famous and successful politicians and businessmen and they are ALL clever people most of the time spreading lies(politicians). We also see cats being very popular or all of a sudden being loved by the internet and cats are rahu as well. We also see people that make good edits or take good photographs blowing up on the internet as this is also ruled by rahu especially when it's foreign places as that's ALSO rahu. In india, if you guys are familiar with the ancient history "baniyas" aka businessmen or traders were naturally seen by the society as people that were "unconventional" or "non traditional" because they were starting something that was unconventional to the society that's also rahu. People breaking traffic rules is also rahu. This generation is ruled by rahu, we break rules, lie, break the traditional norms, drink and smoke etc.
I hope this post helps in your understanding of what rahu is as it's a very interesting planet alongside saturn.
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jasmineeeeeeeeesblog · 4 months
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I don’t know if anybody reads these anymore 😭 but this is a Klaus imagine. I’m also on Wattpad I’ve written one shots about Jeremiah fisher and Klaus on there. My name is unknown_writ_er if you wanna check it out. I have a few stories I won’t post on here cause they’re fluff but you can check them out if you’d like. Also I’m open to request so just send me them! Also I can write fluff on here but I don’t see a lot of it.
CONTROL
‼️SMUT‼️
Summary: Klaus was busy and you were bored so you thought you’d dance with someone? A dance never hurt anyone…
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I spent the whole night sitting down at the party. The whole thing was just for him to make plans and talk to people. I haven't seen Klaus the whole night. Everyone was just dancing and having fun. Klaus invited me as his plus one. He always does that because he always needed me by his side as his last hybird. We weren't dating or anything special. He gets mad though when I talk to other people especially boys because I can get 'attached' to them and spill all his secrets but I honestly didn't care too much about this rule because I honestly liked Klaus. I seen the good out of him through all the bad but at times like this I do get bored.
Damon Salvatore. He walked up to me with his fit and tall figure, Black hair, and blue eyes staring at me. He walked up to me and asked to dance.  Dancing wouldn't hurt anybody. I wouldn't catch feelings for Damon he's an ass and he's in-love with Elena. He's probably just tryna to use me to get closer to Klaus but I didn't care I was so bored. I grab his hand and get up a slows song turns on. We dance he his hands on my waist I had my hands on his shoulders and he was smirking at me. I would be lying if I said Damon wasn't hot but I just wasn't attracted to him like that.   He kisses my hand then sends me off to go to my next dance partner is was this random guy. I've never seen before. He was just a random new guy.
Then Klaus came and compelled the dude to go away. Then started dancing with me. "Now what did I say Y/N" he says. "It was just a dance" I say rolling my eyes. He grips on my hips harshly. "You still disobeyed me." He says. "It was only once just get over yourself" I say as I walk away. He grabs my hand "go get in the car I will deal with you in a second don't disobey that order" he says sarcastically. I decide to ignore him. I go to the kitchen and get a glass of wine. I then hear Klaus say his goodbyes then leave. I knew he'd be in here in a matter of seconds as he realizes I'm not out in the car. As I expected Klaus was in there in the matter of seconds he grabbed my arm and ran back to the car he threw me in the back seat.
He closed the sliding window that connects the drivers to the passenger. He got in. "Why do you not listen to anything I say" he yells. "Because I was bored and I just wanted to dance I'm not inlove with Damon." I yell back. I've never yelled at him the shock look on his face turned to anger. He pinned me against the seat "DONT ever yell at me again Y/N and I'll make you regret it." He says. "And do exactly what I'm your last hybird you won't kill me since you can't make anymore" I say. "There's things worse than death, love" he says. "But I don't think I'd ever be capable to do those things to you" he mumbles. My hearing going in and out for his low tone. "What did you say." I said. "Nothing" he says. "You know whatever I'm walking home" I say as I get out. "Fine walk home dont be surprised if I don't let you in" he says.
It was cold but it obviously didn't matter I was a vampire. I walked home instead of using my vamp speed because I didn't wanna see Klaus and he probably didn't wanna see me now. I soon get home after 2 hours it was like 11 by time I got home. I sigh as I knock on the door. It was locked of course it was. I just yell "Fine I'll just go to the Salvatore's boarding house" I say as I start to walk away. Before I got to the stairs of the porch I heard the door open and someone grab my arm, slam the door, and pin me against it. It was Klaus with messy hair, eyes bags, his sweatpants hanging low so that can I see his v-line, and his shirt off. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want him right now.
His hands were on the side of my head his body wasn't that close but his face was. I smirked. "Why don't u want me at the Salvatore house so bad" I said. "I already told you" he says. "That can't be the reason you let me in the house after you told me you wouldn't." I say. "You know I could protect myself but you just like to have control over me" I say. He Just stares at me without saying anything. I didn't think I was right so the shock on my face when he didn't disagree or deny it. " oh so that's what it is. You like how you know you could do anything to me at the snap of your finger." I say smirking. I put my hand on his torso. Tracing his abs. His face still staring straight but I could still tell by his eyes I was affecting him. I rubbed my hand further down to dick. He let out a gasp and I could see him get hard. He backed up from me and then kept walking back and forth.
"Y/N stop messing with me" he says staring at me. "Who says I messing with you" I say smirking. "You better lose that attitude you know you're defenseless against me" he says. "Yeah I think you like that. You can control everything I do. You like that I have to listen to you" I say getting closer to him and I push him on the back of the couch and climb on top of him. "I barely touched you and you got hard" I say smirking. He flips us over "you just had a whole thing how I'm in control and now you want to try and be. Not happening love" he says as he holds my wrist in one hand and tears my dress with the other one. He sits up with his legs on either side of my hips and kissy sits admiring me. My arms were still pinned. I managed to get out of it as he wasn't holding that long and I flipped us over. He was just smirking at me amused. I started leaving hickeys down his neck and torso.
(IK that vampires heal quick but just imagine hickeys stay‼️)
As I got to the waistband of his sweatpants. I pulled them down along with his boxers. His dick hit his stomach. I bring my hand to it and start stroking it. He threw his head back. I bring his tip to my mouth and start licking it. I started taking him in my mouth. I took us much as I could then stroked the rest. I kept bobbing my head and Klaus soon grabbed my hair pushing me down more and more. He then pulled me off. I could tell he was about to finish. "Y/n you drive me crazy" he says breathlessly while flipping us back over. He started kissing my neck leaving hickeys all down me. "Now I'm about to fuck you better than anybody can especially Damon." He says as he kisses down to my breasts and unclips my bra. And starts sucking on my nipple. One of his hands slide up to my neck. The other slides down to my panties and slides his hand in. I let out a gasp as he rubbed my clit.
He inserted 2 fingers in me while rubbing my clit. I was moaning. He moved his mouth to my other nipple. When he found my G-spot I screamed his name. He looked up at me and smirked. Then kept going at a fast pace there. He then stopped attacking my breast then kissed me. He took my moaning to slip his tongue in my mouth. "Klaus I'm about-" I was cut off by a moan as he went faster then I finished all over his fingers. He pulled them out then licked the juices off his fingers. He then slid my panties off. Then aligned himself against my entrance. "Is this okay" he whispered in my ear. My breath hitched feeling him so close to my core. "Yes Klaus" I said breathlessly. He slowly pushed into me.   He leaned onto my shoulder then slowly starts going in out.
"Faster" I said with a moan. He starts going faster hitting my g-spot. I was scratching his back. He started leaving hickeys on my neck. As he kept going faster he started rubbing my clit as I finished all over his dick. I was sensitive now. He kept going and my legs were shaking. I was squeezing against him he looked like he was about to come undone. He went at a faster pace and I finished for a third time all over his dick then he finished deep inside me then rode out both our highs. He planted a kiss on my forehead then he left I thought he was just gonna leave me here. Was I just a random fuck? He came back with a blanket, a tshirt, and towel. He had put some boxers on. He cleaned me up then threw the tshirt on me then threw the blanket over me then got next to me wrapped his hand around my waist and laid his head on my neck and we fell asleep.
———————
This is more soft version but I could make another story kinda like this and make it rougher if y’all liked.
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drdemonprince · 5 months
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Any chance you'd expand on the hank hill trans guy post? (Sorry, best indicator I could come up with.) The concept interests me as I decidedly know my maleness, yet don't feel impeded by for the most part, any male gendered norms/boxes. I am fairly masculine, though I rarely use those kinds terms to describe myself. I have found I often do stray outside of what society pushed for me when I transitioned, yet I again do not feel it has taken from my right to maleness whatsoever. I am just me, who happens to be male. I have had friends try and suggest I am NB adjacent but I do not feel this way whatsoever. I feel more people are outliers to gender expectation than we care to admit and it's disappointing the way cis-people deny that. Hope this wasn't too long winded, I value your writing and perspective, and wanted to hear more of your thoughts on this.
Yeah, well so many things all get conflated by gender labels, and it's all so personal, you know? Masculinity does not have to mean maleness, and a person's gender identity might be a reflection of some innate quality they experience themselves as having, or a general summary of their tendencies, or their desired presentation, or their sense of affinity with other people, or an interpersonal tool, or something they just go along with because it was given to them by society, or any other number of things.
I think my recent substack piece on detransition goes into this pretty well, and I have an upcoming piece of what @pastimperfection calls "bilateral dysphoria" that comes out next week that delves into it too.
I think I mostly saw taking on a male identity as a means to an end more than any kind of innate reflection of who I was, though I did feel an affinity with effeminate men for a lot of reasons. I think I also discounted how much I have in common with my fellow nonbinary people of all stripes, because that identity became so strongly associated with being an annoying type of queer person that everybody else just wrote off as ultimately being their assigned gender at birth anyway no matter how much they protested. it doesn't help that 'nonbinary' is a catchall term for literally thousands if not millions of very distinct experiences and desires.
transitioning gave me control over how i was perceived, finally, but hormones are a throttle that only go in one very specific direction, and you don't really have all that much control over which changes kick in at which times and what people will make of you once you do start registering to them as some identity other than what you were first saddled with. it's an incredible gift to be able to toggle that throttle. but it's limited, not because medical transition isn't incredible and needed for so many, but because there is no escaping the goddamned binary cissexist logic that influences everything about how people treat you, how you navigate institutions, who finds you desirable and what they want out of you, and so much else.
if you're able to cast a lot of the external societal bullshit aside and feel strong in your maleness, maybe you're stronger than me or maybe our orientation to these things is just different, i don't know. i was never all that sensitive to feedback that i was doing the whole being-a-woman-thing all that wrong. i reveled in violating those rules to an extent. succeeding at being a woman despite my best attempts was what felt super dysphoric. and now i guess im succeeding at being a man, insofar as im always read as one, and it feels just as uncomfortable and objectifying and false. i thought that with manhood i could probably just grit my teeth and deal with it, but i'm finding that i can't.
ive always been very open that for me, gender is a thing I Do, and i guess to those who know me well it wouldnt be surprising to hear that i have gotten tired of Doing Being a Man and dont feel like playing that particular gendered game anymore. I tend to get bored of things! and find the flaws in things. and find my comfort in being fault-finding and contrarian and not being a joiner. and thats okay. i learned a lot along the way. not having to try any more is a huge relief. i can just do whatever. and know actively that people will more often than not be wrong in what they make of me.
maybe it was natural feeling for you to decidely 'know' your maleness without a care for masculine standards because that is the right identity for you! and maybe i only feel secure in the "not knowing" realm and in letting go of what people think of me or finding any kind of tidy categorization for it because that's the right spot for me. for now. until i find a new interesting way to be unhappy and striving for more and different again. :) that's just part of being alive, for me.
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dididi11 · 2 months
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I dont plan to get back into HH, but here are some things that have triggered me and that ik sure alot of people can agree on:
1. I feel like Charlie's idea of redemption can be seen through alot of perspectives. HOWEVER- what she specifically wants is to redeem EVERY soul. Now there's a reason to why hell exists, it's made for people who have done terrible things in their life, which is why they get banished to Hell in the first place. We may not know when a soul is actually pure enough to get redeemed- BUT we do know what you would have to be to end up in Hell. Murderers, RÆpists, Cannibals, Paedophiles- just all of those in the horrible category most definitely DON'T deserve a second chance. And even if they somehow did get redeemed, how would the victims in Heaven feel? Heaven is the place where they're supposed to feel safe- So how the hell do you expect to put them in the same place together without any conflicts? If you truly want to get the right people into Heaven, then you should background check every single Sinner throughly.
2. Adam- We all love love him and hate him, but there is one person to blame for when it comes to his Character: Vivziepop. I feel like she used the "Annoying Villain who doesn't care about anything that the protagonist has to say and is just downright badly written" trope way to often. He could've had so much potential to be a good written Character that would actually explain to Charlie why sinners just can't be redeemed. It just felt unnecessary to only let him be a douchebag, sing his song (which was banger don't get me wrong-) and shorten their time by 6 months for the next extermination to cause Charlie another COMPLETELY unnecessary problem. And all that for NO reason, "Yeah, but that's because he's a douch-" And that's exactly my point, why waste your time and effort on a basic ahh character if he's going to be a just an ordinary douche anyway? The first Season would've been so much more interesting if we actually had a logical explanation to why others are against of Charlie's idea. But no, instead all we get is "ahahaha, Sinners are stupid. They deserve Hell." Also why the Hell did Adam shorten the time for the extermination by 6 months?? It felt so unnecessary, They probably felt like the first Season would've been boring without any Action- and I'm pretty sure they could've made a different Scene that was also Epic without it not making sense.
2. ADAM AGAIN- I don't want this to be just about Adam, but since he is dead (BY FUCKING NIFFTY I HATE HER) and maybe wont come back- since we don't know if he'll get respawned..what kind of punishment will Lucifer specifically receive? To clarify things, Lucifer had disobeyed the rules of Heaven and Hell, he helped his daughter and her friends kill off half of the exorcists and even threatened them to retreat. And the worst part of all of this is that he would've killed Adam if Charlie hadn't stopped him. Even though Adam was killed by NIFFTY, I'm pretty sure the blame would be put on Lucifer instead of some Sinner. So what will happen if they try to communicate with Heaven again? They literally killed the first human of mankind created by God himself. Honestly at that point it would be a pretty huge deal and Charlie's redemption idea wouldn't even be looked into.
2. Emily and Charlie- I hate how none of the Characters genuinely understand the ACTUAL purpose of the extermination. It's to prevent Hell from gaining to much power, that's why they need to make sure to kill off half of the population. It was never about the redemption of Sinners, so Charlie shouldn't even think about canceling off the extermination. I also get why Emily is mad at Sera for lying to her, but the fact that she immediately joined Charlie's side without even thinking trough the entire thing is just downright dumb.
3. I feel like there's more to talk about, I just don't know what.
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dallasgallant · 12 days
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Time period post: “Greasy” girls
This one was actually requested of me, and I’m happy that these are useful enough to a few of you that I get requests, lol. I’m going to be focused on the kind of girls within the East side, those associated/date greasers etc. I hope that aligns with what you were hoping for anon.
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The “girl gang” isn’t entirely a myth but is not complete reality either. Full on grease/biker gangs of women weren’t a very common thing— love the Pink Ladies to death but they’re more the acceptation than the rule. Isn’t to say they’re wasn’t clubs or instances of a girl or two joining a guys gang.
Now, to my memory Pony describes Greasy girls as wearing a lot of makeup and comfortable cursing a lot. Interestingly in the mid 60s both a “no makeup” makeup look and extremely bold makeup were becoming popular. And I mean popular as moms going to a grocery store would have a blue lid, cat eye liner (popular with a older crowd/early 60s as it’s a holdover from 50s etc) but I’d figure girls in the neighborhood would still go bold in order to differentiate themselves. Same goes for the hair— go big or go home (where as guys grease they’d tease)
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Fashion wise, like greasers a lot of the time it’s just the clothing of their profession/regular working class. By the mid 60s the whole “leather jacket gang” biker image was beginning to fade and it was more hot rod Greasers (choose your path kid Bike or car lol). So picture work uniforms, the occasional pants/shorts look Jeans and shirts were also used! Jeans were just rolled up a tad,
Now I dont think they’d go full on mod- both as it’s an expensive fashion to my understanding and taking into account its Tulsa Oklahoma. However, I can see East Side girls taking to the scandalous mini skirt.
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I’d also keep in mind that they’d still get into trouble, just in different ways than the guys (depending on who they are. Some may be a regular girl.) Truancy, dress code, talking back etc. loud, brash, speak their mind. Get angry — won’t follow social strain and expectation more common on women in middle/upper class circles.
Greaser girls also aren’t a 24/7 mean sass machine just like the guys aren’t. These are the “cousinly” girls Pony is more comfortable around!
They also come from low economic status, potentially rocky home life and all the same issues that plague the guys of the East side. They’d just handle it differently, if you want to get really gendered for a minute they don’t have the luxury to take out their problems using their fists.
It’s really frustrating to try and research because a lot of images will be a Halloween costume, 2012 tumblr rockabilly resurgence and whatever people have now dubbed “Americana” (which is the most modern type of outfits I’ve ever seen don’t even get me started)
Then looking into potential jobs etc I just get womens rights papers which— great fine but I’m looking specifically at the women who were working - not fighting to work etc
Also strangely looking up the 60s working class brings up mainly British articles? As if there’s not one in America???
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perenial · 1 year
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gene im so glad you said this cause I haven't seen anyone else comparing it to the book as source material for like character and tone but i am So sure that if terry was alive the season would not be like this but i fear good omens fans dont realise how big a factor the lack of terry's influence is?? or like they forget that good omens was never just neilman???
ok before i go any further: i rly don't want to detract from anyone's enjoyment of the season and everything im going to say comes from a place of love for a) the original novel (& season 1 to a certain extent bc it got me back into it lol) and b) tv as a medium so like peace and love on planet let people enjoy things etc etc
but
like u said, terry's influence on the book was enormous – what makes gomens gomens is the balance of his genuine warmth and precise understanding of humanity tempered with neilman's sardonic voice and general like.....savvy approach to storytelling? i guess u could call it? anyway what rly helps the book is that it took them years to write it, passing ideas back and forth and rewriting each other's work until their voices blended seamlessly and a well structured capital-s Story was created. when i praise the book for being self-contained i think a huge part of that comes from the circumstances in which it emerged: two authors with complementary styles writing in a v particular time period where they had both the space to play with their ideas and the constraints of the novel as a storytelling format from which to craft something extremely specific.
adaptations are a tricky business and a tv version of gomens produced literal decades after the book was always going to have some unique challenges, but i don't think that's a bad thing bc the challenges could prove to be creative opportunities to take both the established audience and those new to the story by surprise. my biggest hot take here is that i don't think translating a story into a different medium means it has to follow the original narrative exactly, bc each medium has its own ways of communicating information and these structures, rules and traditions in turn inform what that story is. what matters more than following a story beat-by-beat is capturing what that story is about at its core, what themes and messages and ideas it works through and how.
all this is to say i never expected tv gomens to be a perfect reproduction of the book and if it had it been, it probably would have been worse off for it. that being said, there are parts of the book – like u said, its tone and character – that needed to have some fidelity in order to pull it off, and for the most part s1 did that bc it was still working predominantly within the bounds of the novel & its core ideas. while i did have some issues w how neilman & amazon adapted some details and characterisations, i generally rly liked s1 – it reminded me of why i loved the book and it was just generally fun to watch.
s2 was. not that fun to watch
a few positives before i go ham w the critiques:
the hair & makeup + costumes were fantastic (although i feel like s1 was slightly better re: makeup?)
the sound design & score made some of the more awkward scenes bearable and thats no mean feat imo
david & michael gave incredible performances w what they were given – michael especially managed to salvage aziraphale enough that his complete 180 didnt feel completely tonally dissonant (more on this later)
the detail of the sets is NUTS and i genuinely want to see more of hell bc of how intricate and fun the props look
i actually like gabriel/beelzebub!! their getting together montage worked for me, although they could have spent sliiiightly more time establishing what it is they like abt each other so much + why gabriel wanted to stop armageddon 2.0 so suddenly
the opening scene, although not on par w the novel's & s1's, was visually gorgeous and thematically resonant (although neilman owes me royalties for ripping it off from this shitty fic i wrote back when raphael!crowley was all the rage lol)
now w THAT being said:
like i said yesterday, the pacing was fucking awful. flashbacks are hard to work w at the best of times and the way they were used in this season felt so needless, especially the 40s one in ep 4 that takes up like 90% of the episode. in both flashbacks + present day there were scenes that dragged for no real reason, dialogue that looped back around on itself to stretch out the runtime, and weirdly enough places where there should have been character & plot work where there just,, wasn't any?? for example, maggie & nina's night locked in the café – some parts of the dialogue in later episodes made out that they'd had some rly deep conversation abt how they feel about each other or even that they'd had an affair, but that isn't clear from those scenes in the café. i'm not saying we had to see that conversation in its entirety but that there needed to be more connective details – either in dialogue or direction – that gave that part of the story coherence.
(there were pacing issues w the editing too but i don't want to jump down the editor's throats on this one bc im more focused on writing & direction issues)
the second major problem that i mentioned in my tags yesterday is the protagonist shift, which is an issue that started in s1. aziraphale & crowley are side characters in book gomens – significant ones, yeah, but still somewhat peripheral to adam (& anathema who counts as a deuteragonist imo). this works incredibly well w who they are as characters: they're Just Some Guys who happen to be involved in this epic biblical-level bureaucratic nightmare and importantly, they don't want to be in the spotlight. the arrangement was created so that they could explore what it meant to be themselves away from the Big Narrative; literally any time they get involved in larger affairs is bc the plot is alive and caught them unionising on company time. the last fucking chapter is adam (& god) being like haha u guys are alright keep it sleezy and letting them go. like. hello. neil u let them go.
but then!! tv gomens s1 does something interesting at the end w the body swapping addition that i dont totally hate – it gives aziraphale & crowley the extra bit of character work that brings them slightly more adjacent to their book selves. see i kinda view tv a/c as the younger, less settled versions of book a/c; they're still caught up in the immediacy of being key players and haven't fully realised that earth is their home. i haven't watched s1 in a while but one scene i remember rly clearly is crowley throwing all those astronomy texts in the air and angsting abt when he was an angel; i remember it bc his anguish in that scene feels a lot newer and rawer than book crowley's feelings about falling. when tv a/c do their bodyswap, it gives them the chance to land a blow against heaven/hell in a way that solidifies their allegiance to earth in a way that more closely resembles what book a/c have been abt the entire time (still adjacent, though. not parallel).
the reason why this works is that it does one final pivot to orient aziraphale and crowley as almost-main characters in a manner that makes sense in relation to a) their book selves and b) the position the tv show has placed them in. a combination of factors made tv a/c feel a lot less mature than their book counterparts but at the end of s1 they're sort of facing the same direction the book ended in, albeit through their own flashy late 2010s means.
when s2 was announced i was.......apprehensive bc to me, that felt like a satisfactory ending. i get the impression that amazon saw how wildly successful the adaptation was and was like oh shit we could make way more money out of this and neilman, having all those undead darlings that he and terry killed in the process of whittling the book into a workable novel, jumped at the chance to resurrect all those half-realised ideas. but not only were those ideas probably discarded for a reason, they've either been laying in wait for years unworked or they're new inventions, which means they weren't molded in the way that the book had been. like i said before, book gomens underwent years of rewrites and creative collaboration, and i think that process was what made it so good; s2 didn't have that. even if some of terry's ideas made it into s2, his influence is still missing bc he and neilman weren't in dialogue the same way they were in the book (and in some ways s1 bc i know terry was involved in the process of adapting gomens to screen before his death).
i don't think it's a case of newer fans forgetting terry so much as it is the context of terry's involvement being so removed from the current circumstances that certain aspects & discourses (i.e. is the s2 finale queerbaiting (no), does binge watching change the viewership experience (yes), etc etc) about the show overshadow other discussions that would usually be taking place. and before anyone says it's a case of neilman forgetting terry, i definitely don't think it's that either bc thats. yknow. wildly disrespectful. but also there are larger systems and structures at play than one writer no matter how much beef i have w him and his decisions, bc ultimately he's just one guy (a powerful and wealthy guy, but just a guy) and there's a wider cultural shift happening rn towards rehashing old stories without understanding what made them successful in the first place, and that same culture just doesn't allow for much, if any, constructive discourse analysis
so yeah
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the-s1lly-corner · 9 months
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TADC cast comforting the reader!
i know i said i have a character limit (and technically ive already broken it for the creepypasta version of this post and similar posts in this category) buuuuuut admins personal writing gets to twist the rules a little bit/j/lh and also i dont want to make multiple posts for this prompt soooooooooo writing this while im waiting to make my silly money on a roblox tycoon yall know how it is :3 uuuuuuh might have more typos than usual simply because that wave of sleepiness is hitting but also i wanna finish my tycoon so NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT
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CAINE:
i think he might try too hard in trying to get you to feel better. likely overwhelms you but he doesnt have ill intent (though that doesnt change much, youre still overwhelmed) so you might have to be firm in having him reel things back to a level that works for you. i think he would ask you whats wrong, as well as get anything he thinks he would help you feel better (drinks, blankets... hell before you can process anything hes probably got you buried in loads of things)... hes got the spirit but his intensity is... well intense.. torn between him being a decent listener because on one hand i can see him being hooked on every word you say and talking over you in an attempt to find a solution right then and there.... 6/10 i love caine but i get overwhelmed/overstimulated easily
POMNI:
does not know what to do when someone around her it upset, much less crying... i think she would put on this really weird... awkward... forced smile to try to lessen the tension in the air (failing at it, mind you) and try to pat your back... asks if you want to talk about it... a really good listener, actually. a better listener than a comforter, her solutions are so-so, they're what you expect from someone who doesnt want to accidentally overstep but nonetheless still cares about how you feel. at least you can count on her being totally no judgement, too... lets you talk to her for as long as you need, giving a nod and affirmation that she is in fact listening 8/10
RAGATHA:
very similar to pomni in regards to being a great listener, but i think ragatha would also be a great comforter as well as solution giver! lets you come into her room, gives you one of her nicer blankets to curl under while she lets you unload onto her. if someone is being mean to you or something is frustrating you, ragatha offers to give you a hand to find a solution to make things easier for you. offers to confront the person for you, though she does vaguely urge for you to build yourself up to try to speak up for yourself in the future. of course, if you ever need anyone ragatha is going to be there for you but she would also love to see you stand up for yourself. builds you up, probably gives peps talks! 8.5/10
JAX:
more often than not its going to look like hes disinterested or flat out not listening... which if it were just about anyone else that might really be the case.. buuuuuut what if you were one of his friends, or perhaps a partner? i think he would at least throw in a yeah.. which i think for how i typically write jax means something. one of those "if he didnt actually care he wouldnt be responding at all" and yeah sure its the bare minimum... i think every now and then he might just say screw it and throw his act out the window start shit talking... usually if theres someone to shit talk, you know if someone has made you upset or something... i think he would make them a target for his pranks... usually tries to play everything off as something light or unimportant but as long as its you, he is listening and he is going to at least make an attempt to do something about it... just dont bring it up 4/10 because personally it would make me feel worse shrugs
KINGER:
well i dont know how dad/energy having people can be comforting because my dad is emotionally distant/lh but i think he would let you come into his pillow fort... or if you dont want to be in a space so small he would let you come into his room, or he might take you out on a walk around the grounds. i think he would be more of a listener than anything else, nodding and humming to let you know hes listening. when theres pauses in your speaking he tries to offer some advice which can be pretty hit or miss. i think he would give you a hug, if you asked for one... if you want a distraction he will launch into a ramble about insects and other things! trails off to ask how youre doing every now and then, usually makes him lose his spot in the previous conversation thus starting a new one... will talk for hours 7/10 but im biased for kinger
ZOOBLE:
distant but not in the way jax is, zooble just has trouble expressing some of their emotions. jax just doesnt like showing any care or vulnerability. but zooble might let you stay in their room if youre crying or otherwise outwardly distressed. might let you sink down into one of their bean bag chairs... kind of just opens up a vent session with asking if you want to talk shit, or to just get angry. i think they can deal with someone being angry and irritated than a crying person because at least then they can apply their own irritation for it and put themselves in the other persons shoes. really you two just bounce and build each other in this scenario, kind of just letting off steam that should have been released far sooner... i dont know about you guys but its refreshing 8/10
GANGLE:
might get upset with you if youre really upset.. or maybe upset for you? i think she might be able to feel a lot for those she cares about deeply, so while it might look like shes trying to hijack the moment for herself, shes just crying FOR you.. lets you use her art supplies to make vents or to simply scribble. another big listener, i think she would try to give advice but... given that gangle herself has no spine (figuratively and literally) i think its... not the best advice... like the kind of stuff you try to affirm to yourself to get through a hard day, usually those affirmations.... dont work...but hey theres an effort! i mean at least she makes sure you feel heard and listened to, which is at least a little better than jax soooooo 5.5/10
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