#but i also believe that art is an event that happens when someone looks at something and finds meaning

[mantabanter]

I know most people don’t REALLY care about the lack of content from me (I post when I post and yall seem just fine with that) but I thought I would mention why I haven’t made anything in... eons.

I had a realization with my own art, that I found it messy and quick and... stagnant. And not only all that, but it felt so completely narrow minded as well. It felt like, well, there were only so many things I could draw and so many ways to draw them, and I had to get them out quick OR ELSE-

It was for social media. I was only thinking about social media and whether my art was postable. I was no longer making beautiful things that I loved. I was making things that I thought maybe the internet would like, things that I probably Should make rather than things I actually wanted to.

So I took some time and had a long think and thought: well, what DO I actually want to make? And it’s still something I’m a bit stuck on. I don’t think I have the skills or the ability to make the things I do want to make. Which is disappointing, but also kind of exhilirating. I get to learn and try something new. But also. I probably have to be kind of shit at it first too. Which is NOT GREAT for my ego ;w; but. Thats how it goes. There are a thousand things I want to make, art, AUs, fandom stuff, non-fandom stuff, but I’m kind of realizing I don’t have the time and the skills for everything. Which is sad because. As someone who is terrible at prioritizing, I don’t know what to focus on or spend my time doing! And theres still that little voice in my head that wants to make something that people will like, that people will see, that will get me my fake internet points and make me feel like I have meaning in my life.

And well. I just don’t know. I think I have to go in the opposite direction of all my instincts. I want to make something that will NOT be popular, something NOT related to fandom, something that can be BAD and it’s FINE but something I’ll CARE about. I want to find satisfaction within my art, something that will last with me, not something that will disappear from my mind once it is done gaining traction online. You know?

And I’m not entirely sure what ticks those boxes yet. But I want to get back into trying.

[drchucktingle]

THE TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION HAVE ISSUED AN APOLOGY AND A RE-INVITATION. HERE IS MY STATEMENT

hello buckaroos. the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION have issued a formal statement and apology which you can read at the attached link.

while i find the language used to discuss what was done a little unsatisfying, i would like to start by saying i appreciate anyone taking steps to prove love is real and make things right. the genuine feeling of ‘realizing you have made a mistake and hurt someone else’ is a terrible one, and i have so much empathy for this group as they reckon with their choices causing harm. i appreciate their apology.

i also think more good than bad has come from this situation. i am so thankful this happened to me (someone with a large social media presence) and not a smaller buckaroo author without the means to stand up for themselves. i think the next time someone comes to the TXLA with an accommodation need, they will hopefully be taken more seriously

lets trot down to business about specifics now. the TXLA has re-invited chuck to the original panel and even offered to take a moment at the top of the panel to talk about what happened. this is very kind of them and i will say THANK YOU. 

unfortunately i will also have to decline.

the fact that it took this much effort, social media backlash, and discussion to let me simply EXIST PHYSICALLY in a way that is authentic to myself is not a good sign. if this organization immediately questions an authors chosen presentation in this manner, i cannot imagine what my other accommodations would be met with.

sometimes i am at an event and i very quickly need extra space to breathe. sometimes i am at an event and i need special guides to help me along from place to place. these are not ‘big asks’ and every other conference has gladly provided them, but if the TXLA had this kind of initial reaction to my physical appearance, i cannot imagine them readily helping with my other needs without ‘proof’.

this is clearly not a safe place to trot for those who require additional accommodations. regardless of any apology, their ACTIONS have shown that people who appear unusual or unique are not welcome at this event on a subconscious level. i believe the TXLA have some serious inner work to do beyond this apology, and i believe this inner work will involve actions more than words.

but even more importantly i would like to make this very important point: IT DOES NOT MATTER IF MY MASK IS A DISABILITY AID OR NOT. i appreciate the way this discussion has allowed us to trot out some deep talks on autism and proved love in this way, but i think there is a much more important point at hand.

regardless of WHAT someone looks like, it is not the job of an event or conference to pick apart WHY. physical presentation can be a part of someones neurodivergence, or gender, or sexuality, but i can also just exist as a nebulous undefined part of their inner self. it can be a piece they are not ready to openly discuss yet. the guests at TXLA are authors (aka ARTISTS) and the idea that a conference dedicated to an ART is going to deny people with unique and unusual presentations for ANY reason is absurd. since when are we applying a ‘dress code’ to our artists?

without knowing it, i personally believe there is an element of the ‘good queer, bad queer’ phenomenon going on here. there is a push to say ‘LOOK we accept these marginalized groups and cultures’ but behind the scenes that means ‘we accept these marginalized groups and cultures who are quiet and speak in turn and wear the metaphorical suit and tie’. it is easy to show diversity when you only take on the voices that arent too ‘strange’.

to prove my point i ask you this: do you think orville peck would have FOR ONE SECOND been asked to perform at the texas library association event without his mask?

so with that i say ‘very sincerely, thank you, but i will have to decline the re-invitation. maybe next year’

[byeoltoyuki]

Try

↳ Pairing: Seungmin x reader

❧ Genre: rivals to lovers / romance / smut

❧ Words: +4k

❧ Warnings: unprotected sex, oral (f)

❧Summary : Years ago, he used to be your enemy.

No. Enemy was too strong to describe what Kim Seungmin was to you. Your rival was a better term. He was everything you weren’t; friendly, funny and effortlessly brilliant. You loathed him for that. And yet, when you meet him again years later, you just can’t deny that there’s something else between you too.

❧ A/N : Honestly, this one comes out of nowhere. I just needed to write so here it comes ♥ Reblogs and comments are always appreciated ♥

***

‘Trust your guts’.

It was your motto in life. A simple rule. And you abided by this rule half of your short lived life. But not tonight and you regretted it. Deeply.

The annual gathering with people from your college was an event your closest friends adored just so they could show some idiots that they had succeeded in life. You? You avoided it. An event you hated with all your heart. You always found excuses not to go. Your life depended on it.

Okay. Not really. Not your life at least. But definitely your ego.

You hated half of the people who attended the event. Back in college, they were so quick to judge, to talk behind your back and yet they expected you to be nice to them. To them, you were just a cold, nerdy girl with no friends. Someone they could easily mock. They hated your attitude. They hated your looks. But they also hated how easily you beat them every single time.

They were wrong.

Yes, you were a little nerdy back then, but you weren’t a cold person, just shy. And you had friends. Not many, but you didn’t need many to feel good. To be happy. Those you had, stuck by your side and they also happened to be the reason you had finally agreed to come to the gathering. You just couldn’t say no to Hyunjin and Yeji, not when those two formed an alliance against you. You had no chance against them.

You sighed to yourself. Would it be rude to grab your purse and leave? One nasty look from Hyunjin, as if he could read your mind, and you gulped nervously. Apparently it was. You slumped further into your chair and tried to keep up with the conversation. Same boring conversation. ‘Where do you currently work?’ ‘Are you soon getting married?’ ‘I’ve bought a house!’ Why did it have to be a competition? Couldn't they just enjoy a nice gathering and the meal?

“Hyunjin, I heard you’re flying to Paris for the fashion week.” Seoah were almost drooling as she spoke to Hyunjin. You cringed. She couldn’t make it even more obvious that she wasn’t just admiring him. No, she had something else on mind. Too bad, Hyunjin was a taken man even if she didn’t know that.

He smiled into his drink. “Yes, tomorrow.” He put his glass back on the table and glanced smugly at a silently fuming Juwon who always hated Hyunjin’s popularity. “I was actually supposed to leave today, but I couldn’t miss our annual gathering! It’s good to see you guys.”

What a liar. You had to bite your lips not to laugh at his words.

Juwon cleared his throat and averted his attention on you. Hell no. “You look different.” For once, it didn’t sound like an insult but you were still weary of him. No nice words coming out of his mouth could make you forget what kind of asshole he was. And you had a hard time to believe that he had actually changed.

“Do I?” You did look different from the past. You used not to care about your looks. Who cared how you looked as long as you had good grades? You certainly didn’t. Neither did your friends. But it changed. Ever since you started working at your art gallery, you understood the importance of how others perceived you. You learnt to do your makeup right. You took care of your long hair. And you changed your whole wardrobe. You got classier. And maybe tonight you put an extra effort to look good. Not that you needed to impress anyone, but you did it anyway.

“It suits you!” Another woman commented, genuinely excited. You couldn’t remember her name but you thanked her with a smile.

Yeji eyed you from the other side of the big table, thumbs up, her eyes telling you silently ‘told you so’. You ignored her. Just because you could.

“I wonder with what kind of man you ended.” Juwon was too curious for his own good.

“Oh come on.” Seoah laughed as if the idea of you dating was ridiculous. “I bet she’s still single.”

How typical of her to assume. Not that she was wrong, but her comment still pissed you. Did she think you were still the same woman as back in college? Just because right at this moment, you were indeed single, didn’t mean you refused dating. You did and got tired of it. Every relationship you had, always started nice, romantic even, but always ended the same way: you breaking up with the guy. They were nice men who truly cared for you but there was just something missing.

However, before you could share a piece of your mind with Seoah, you were interrupted.

“Sorry guys, I’m late!”

That voice.

That stupidly, annoying voice. Your whole body reacted; you shuddered, unable to breath, unable to think properly.

Kim Seungmin.

Here came a man you wished you could avoid for the rest of your life. You knew, your hatred for him was irrational. Compare to others, he had never done anything to you. Seungmin never mocked you, never made any bad comments. But he was your rival. No matter how hard you worked, no matter how many hours you spent in the library, studying, he still beat you every single time. It drove you crazy. But what made everything tenths time worse was the fact that Seungmin quickly caught on your little game and it amused him. You hated him for that too.

“You’re right on time!” Juwon pushed a chair for him. “We’ve been discussing Y/N’s love life!” His gaze slid to you and smirked. “Or lack of it.” Yep. Still an asshole, you were right.

Seungmin quirked a brow at Juwon’s words. You felt his eyes on you. On your face, on your neck, on your arms. Your skin burned under his gaze but you refused to acknowledge his presence for the sake of your sanity.

Maybe a tiny part of you expected Seungmin to comment Juwon’s words, maybe even laugh at it. But he did none of that. Instead you felt him only closer to you which made your unease grow with every passing seconds.

“Do you mind if we switch places?” Seungmin asked the girl beside you, taking the two of you completely off guard.

You opened your mouth, a protest on the tip of your tongue but the girl beside you was faster. She hurried to leave her spot. Seungmin flashed her a pretty smile and sat right next to you. Despite you wanting to avoid him, now that he sat so close to you, your arm brushing his, there was no escape. Now that you were staring right into his pretty, annoying, eyes, you knew: you were fucked.

“As for what you said Juwon. Lack of love life?” Seungmin repeated his words. He moved a little closer to you and before you could push him away, he wrapped an arm around your shoulders, bringing you against him. “How come you didn’t tell them about us, babe?”

Loud gasps followed by whispers.

What.

What the actual fuck?!

If from outside you looked perfectly composed, at least to those who didn’t know you well enough, inside you were completely freaking out. His words made no sense. His body, his warmth that should have repelled you, felt actually nice.

Kim Seungmin was trying to help you. You heard him. You understood what he was saying but you didn’t understand why. You weren’t friends, not even close and you hadn’t seen each other for so long. I’ll deal with you later.

Something was wrong with you too because instead of pushing him away, you leant into him and accepted his help. “Because they wouldn’t have believed me. Should I remind you that we used to hate each other?” You reminded him and playfully poked his side.

Seungmin leaned closer, his lips so close to yours – you gulped but didn’t avert your eyes from his face. How annoyingly pretty he looked with his eyes shining brightly with mischief. Fine, he was helping you but he was clearly having fun too.

“Wrong.” He said and kissed the corner of your lips.

Gasps again.

Your heart skipped a beat. The corner of your lips tingled and you found yourself wishing his lips had stayed longer. What the actual fuck, Y/N. This whole night was a terrible idea and you kept making bad decisions. Getting drunk and hoping to forget everything seemed like a good idea right now.

“I never hated you.” He added and pulled back to face the others as if he hadn’t just dropped a bomb at them. And at you. “What’s up?”

And just like that they started talking again. But you heard none of that. All you could hear was the sound of your roaring heart. All you could feel was the lingering feeling of his lips. All you could think about was Seungmin and this thing going on between the two of you tonight. ‘I never hated you.’ Fine. Maybe he never did but you weren’t on best terms either. You wanted to take him outside and talk to him. Was it his attempt at messing with you? Or was he really just being genuinely nice?

You noticed Hyunjin and Yeji staring at you, questions in their eyes. You didn’t blame them. They had to know none of it was real, they were your best friends. You wouldn’t have hidden something as big as dating Kim Seungmin from them.

“And you Yeji?” Seungmin’s voice brought you back from your reverie. “I heard your new song, it’s really nice.” You wanted to concentrate on what he was saying since he was talking about your friend. You couldn’t. Not when he put his hand on your thigh. Not when he made it look so natural. Not when, despite it happening under the table, it attracted attention on the two of you again.

It should feel wrong. In fact, you should be appalled by his boldness. You didn’t. It felt awfully nice. And right. Instead of pushing him away, you simply watch him talking. You didn’t want to admire his face but it was hard not to. Even if you weren’t fond of him, you weren’t blind. Kim Seungmin was handsome. Pretty eyes, pretty nose and even prettier mouth. Without realizing it, you licked your lips, wondering how it would feel against yours. Or at any other part of your body.

Oh my god. Did they put something in my drink? There’s no way I’m thinking about him. But you were.

Seungmin squeezed your thigh, the palm of his hand feeling suddenly too hot against your skin. He forgot all about his friends and leant closer. “If you keep staring at me like that we might have a problem.” He warned you.

Your breath caught in your throat and you couldn’t ignore how your face flushed. “When did you get so bold?” You whispered in return.

Seungmin smiled in response. A smile so beautiful, so bright, you wanted to keep it for yourself.

“Growing up does that to a person.” He whispered, his lips brushed your ear. “And also, you look really pretty tonight.”

You couldn’t stop the blush from spreading all over your face even if you tried.

Kim Seungmin was a menace. But a very beautiful and annoying one.

“Okay, that’s enough.” One of the guy groaned. “Get a room. Some of us are sadly single and you two are just disgusting.”

Seungmin laughed heartily and unfortunately for you pulled away from you. A tiny part of you was relieved for the space, but another part of you almost whined at the loss of his warmth. Yeah, there was something wrong with you.

****

Somehow you managed to survive through the whole meal without a fight, without people trying to mess with you. In fact, you even managed to laugh a few times and it wasn’t just because of your friends’ jokes. And maybe it had everything to do with Seungmin.

“Should I drive you home?” Hyunjin whispered to your ear, making sure that nobody heard you.

It was the plan. You came with them and you were supposed to leave with them. You glanced at Seungmin and you couldn’t believe yourself: you were hesitating. You could leave with your friends but then you wouldn’t be able to talk to him and have a chance to thank him for his help.

Seungmin was faster to react. “I’ll take her home. Right babe?” He grabbed your jacket from your chair and waited for you.

Hyunjin rolled his eyes at his words, tempted to pull you back against him. You patted his back. “I should go with Seungmin.”

Hyunjin cocked a brow, surprised with your answer. You gave him a small smile and promised to text him and Yeji later.

Seungmin waited for you. Your body moved on its own accord. When you were close enough, Seungmin helped you to put your jacket on. You were thankful he couldn’t see your flushed face.

“There. All good.” He told you. “Are you ready?”

You were not.

***

You didn’t want the drive to your place to be awkward but it was. You didn’t know how to start the conversation with him. You knew nothing about this Kim Seungmin or how to deal with him.

“Thank you for tonight.” You said awkwardly without looking at him.

From the corner of your eyes you saw him glance at you. You expected him to make a comment, to make it easier for you but he didn’t. He returned his attention to the road. Damn him.

You sighed and slumped further into your seat. “I still don’t understand why you helped me.” This time, you looked at him.

Seungmin shrugged. “They were being dicks for no good reason.”

True, they were but it wasn’t anything new. Seungmin never stood up for you before so why now? “You didn’t need to pretend though.” He could have said anything but no, he chose to play your fake boyfriend instead.

Seungmin parked the car by the entrance of your building and then fully faced you. His eyes sparked with delight and something else. “I admit; it wasn’t my plan. But then, I had one look at you and couldn’t help myself.”

You huffed and crossed your arms over your chest. “So you were messing with me.”

“Maybe a little.”

So damn infuriating. You hurried to unbuckle your seatbelt and opened the door.

“I wasn’t joking you know.” Seungmin stopped you with his words, realizing that if he wanted for you to talk to him, he needed to be genuine. “I never hated you.” He sighed and ruffled his hair in frustration. “I loved how competitive you were. When I realized how clever you were, it pushed me to work harder, to make sure I stayed on the top. And maybe to annoy you a little too. I remember how you used to scrunch your nose whether you saw I got a better grade than you. So adorable.” He smiled at the memory.

Seungmin left you speechless. Why was he making it sound like he was actually fond of you? And why the hell did his words melted you on the spot? You needed to hurry up; grab your purse and leave this car before you did something unthinkable. But as you stepped outside of his car, your body froze, refusing to leave. I’m losing my mind, that’s it.

“Give me your phone.” You turned back and outstretched your hand. It was a bad idea. Terrible idea. But then again, it was just another one to add to the list of bad ideas. Who cared?

Seungmin didn’t hesitate. Not even for a second as if he had been waiting for this moment for ages. You refused to delve on the matter as you quickly saved your number in his phone. “Call me when you want.”

‘And maybe soon.’ But you didn’t say it.

***

You barely made it inside your flat – your phone rang with an unknown number. You stared at your phone, your heart skipping a beat. You didn’t want to think it could be Seungmin. But were you hoping? Maybe.

“Hi.” You instantly recognized his gentle voice.

You couldn’t help it. You chuckled at his eagerness. “You know, usually people wait few days to call back.”

“Open your door.”

Your eyes widened in shock. Too taken aback, you did as he asked without thinking. And here he was. “Did you follow me?!”

Seungmin smiled sheepishly and put his phone back in his pocket. “Sorry. I-“

Was he nervous? “What are you doing, Seungmin?”

Seungmin took a deep breath and took a step inside your flat. The right thing to do would be to tell him to leave. It was too soon and you weren’t in the right mind. You did none of that.

“I’m desperate.” He admitted.

Your breath hitched in your throat as he got closer to you. You knew that if you let him get too close to you, something could happen. And you didn’t completely dislike the idea. Seungmin halted right before you. His eyes blazed with so much intensity, you gulped nervously.

Gently, Seungmin took your hand and pulled it toward him to press against his chest. You jolted, surprised to feel his heartbeat. Wild. Strong. And his hand so warm. “I was a coward in college and missed my chance. I can’t do it a second time, Y/N. I can’t let you slip between my fingers again.”

Your eyes darted back and forth between your hand against his chest and his eyes. “Are you confessing, Seungmin?”

“What if I am?” He dared you, his grip on your hand tightened. Maybe a little part of him was actually scared of rejection. But he held strong.

You could pull away from him and forget his words.

You could, but you didn’t.

His words stirred something inside you. It made you curious. What if instead of looking for a guy that was nice, you went for the guy who loved to compete with you? A guy who, without you even realizing it, pushed you to be the best version of yourself? You had nothing to lose. So you did something completely out of your character. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pressed your body against his, feeling all of him against you. His body strong and firm against you.

“I’d say you need to show me just how much you like me.”

Seungmin growled at your words and instead of answering you, he claimed your mouth. So eager. So desperate. There was nothing sweet about this kiss and you didn’t mind. Seungmin poured years of frustration and need into the kiss. Poured all his feelings, his longing and you gladly took it all.

You moved through the room without breaking the kiss until your thighs met the edge of your table. You didn’t think twice as you sat on top of it, spreading your legs for him to settle against you. You felt it then, how hard he was, how much he wanted you. You would be lying if you said you weren’t wet and excited for what he could do to you.

Seungmin broke the kiss and pressed his forehead against yours. “Are you sure?”

You thought it was sweet that he still tried to control himself. That he still wanted to make sure you were comfortable with him touching you. If only he knew how bad you needed him right now. “Hundred per cent sure.” You confirmed and pecked his nose.

“Well then,” Seungmin’s lips moved from your cheek to the corner of your mouth, to your jaw. “I think I want a dessert.” He kissed your shoulder and gently slid the straps of your dress exposing your aching breasts. “So beautiful.” He licked his way from one breast to another – he took one of your breasts in his mouth, playing with you, teasing you.

You moaned softly, your hand nestled in his hair, you pushed his head against your chest. You were right, his mouth felt perfect against your skin and you thought it would be so easy to get addicted. “Touch me.” You begged, the throbbing between your legs getting too much.

“I’m touching you.” He teased, knowing damn well where you needed him the most.

“Seungmin.” You groaned and tug at his hair.

He groaned and bit playfully on your nipple. “Be nice.” With that he hiked your dress higher. He grabbed your panties and tore them off you.

You gasped loudly. “Did you just tear my panties?!”

He chuckled. “Sorry.” He was definitely not sorry judging by his smirk. You took note to make him pay later for it.

Seungmin spread your legs wider and licked his lips at your exposed pussy glistening with your wetness. “Look at that. Already so wet and I barely touched you.” He teased your sweet pussy by dragging a finger from your clit to your entrance, loving how you shivered at this simple touch.

“Seungmin, please.” You begged shamelessly and pushed your hips, needing to feel more.

“Do you want that?” He pushed his fingers deep inside you. So easily. In and out. Slower at first and then faster, watching as you threw your head back, your lips parted. Your soft moans filled the room and it was the sweetest melody to his ears.

Slowly, Seungmin dropped to his knees. Your dizzy mind barely registered what he was doing – he gently scraped his teeth over your clit. He knew exactly what he was doing. The moment he wrapped his lips around your clit, you lost it.  A loud moan escaped your lips. He feasted on you eagerly; his mouth, his fingers, he was slowly driving you crazy and you could only beg for more.

“Oh my god, Seungmin.” You mewled and ground against his face.

He was good. Too good. His mouth was divine. He worked his magic so well, you could feel your orgasm so close you could taste it.

“I’m so close. Please.”

Seungmin hummed against your pussy. “Come then.”

And you did. Your whole body trembled as your orgasm washed over you. But he didn’t stop. Seungmin kept sucking on your clit, enjoying how you writhed and tried to pull him away from you, too sensitive from your orgasm.

Seungmin straightened up and slowly pulled out his fingers from your pussy. He watched you, smiling lazily as he brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked on them.

“Shit.” You clenched around nothing at the sight. He shouldn’t be allowed to look so sinful.

You grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him into another bruising kiss, tasting yourself on his lips. “I need you inside me right now.”

“So bossy.” He chuckled, “What if I want to play more with you?”

You considered it for a moment. You wouldn’t mind him playing with you. But right now, you wanted him buried deep inside you. You wanted him to fuck you so hard you wouldn’t remember why in the hell you considered him as your enemy for so long. Wanted him to fuck you so hard you wouldn’t remember your name.

You reached between your bodies and started working on his belt and then his zipper. “You’ll have plenty of opportunities to play with me later.”

Seungmin arched a brow, amused with your confession. “Will I?”

“Hell yeah.” You grabbed his cock. He was hard and angry and dripping pre-cum. You salivated at the sight. Kim Seungmin was perfect and you were dying to find out how hard he could ruin you. “Please, wreck me?” You asked as nicely as you could manage.

Seungmin shook his head, laughing fondly. “How can I say no to you?”

Seungmin drove into you. One deep thrust that made you grab his arms, holding for your dear life.

“Fuck.” You moaned and tried to compose yourself. He felt perfect, stretching you, filling you just like you needed.

Seungmin dragged his cock slowly at first, letting you time to adjust and maybe also trying to compose himself. Despite all his talk about playing, he couldn’t deny how badly he wanted to lose control and drive you mad. “You were made for me, Y/N.” He grunted, his control slipping little by little. “Fuck.”

“Don’t hold back, please.” Who cared if he ruined you? Who cared if you couldn’t walk tomorrow? You didn’t.

And he didn’t. Seungmin slammed back into you. His thrusts hard. Deep. Reaching all the right spots. Making you cry out his name. Making you whimper. “You are so fucking perfect.” He hissed as you clenched around him.

“Please, please, please.” You didn’t know what you begged for anymore. Was for him to go harder? To go deeper? To slow down? You couldn’t tell. Your mind was overwhelmed. Your body was burning.

Seungmin kept a brutal rhythm, his thrusts vicious, his grip on your body strong, fingers digging into your skin. It would leave marks and you could only wish for more. Let the world see that someone made you feel so good. Let the world see that you belonged to him.

His hand reached between your bodies and rubbed your clit. There was no escape. You came in a loud cry, wildly, explosively, your body shaking. Seungmin fucked you through your orgasm, his thrusts getting sloppier, his grunts louder, seeking his own release.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and claimed his mouth, swallowing his groan as he came deep inside you, trembling against you.

Seungmin rested his head in the crook of your head, panting. For a moment, you didn’t talk and savored just the moment and the press of your sweaty bodies. It felt nice. It felt good. Perfect.

With your orgasm came clarity. “Why haven’t we done it sooner?” You laughed.

Seungmin bit on your collarbone in response. “Because we had other priorities in college.”

That you did. “What a shame.” You sighed dramatically. “Guess we have some serious catch up to do, don’t you think?”

[writingoddess1125]

A Fluffy little Buggy X Fem-Reader

This popped in my head randomly. Enjoy!

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Theater Brat 🎭

(Y/N) hadn't been on the ship long, Acting as a Quartermaster of sorts, Especially with Nami having abandoned them. She hadn't been apart of the group long, being the freshest face besides Sanji in this whole ordeal. She hadn't exactly been the biggest Fan of Nami, especially after she had betrayed them for Arlong- however she believed in second chances and that people were the way they are due to past events- not that they just so happen to be bad. That and she trusted Luffy- What was more to say?

After a rather long day of helping with the ship and doing inventory (Y/N) set to relax a little- choosing to play a record and draw for a while. Deciding to do a peice of their favorite theater play they had recently seen before setting off with the Strawhats- as she set off to ink her work a loud knock shook her from her peace and the door opened revealing a very irritated Zoro with a bag in his hand.

"(Y/N)! It's your turn to take it-" Zoro grumbled, Tossing the bag onto the desk, ignoring the grunt of pain from the severed Pirate head inside. "Ow! You Broccoli headed bastard!" Buggy yelled from inside the bag, Zoro glaring at the bag before grumbling about some sort of nap or something and marching off. (Y/N) sighed at this, Opening the bag and carefully setting Buggy's head upright. "Ohh~ I get the pretty girl tonight! Watch out Zoro the amount of noise we are gonna make may keep you up all night!" Buggy cackled, (Y/N) simply shaking her head at this and turning back to her drawing. Buggy clearly not liking to be ignored in such a regard.

"Ugh- That damn bag smells! Has no one heard of deodorant? It's like a bunch of teenagers running a ship-" He said sarcastically, his eyes landing on the girl infront of his drawing away. Trying to take a peak at whatever was being drawn.

"Ugh- Did I get the weird one of the group? Not even gonna entertain me? The least you can do is shimmy your ti-"

"I was just finishing up the lines on this is all, Calm down" She said carefully, her words not even laced with a hint of venom as she blew on the ink to dry. Ignoring c

The clear sexual joke he was trying to deliver.

"What are ya drawing? A wanted poster for the tangerine girl?" He questioned and gave a crookeded grin, assuming Nami was a sensitive topic for them. However frown when he didn't get a reaction.

"No a drawing from one of my favorite musicals. I try to do a drawing of each one I see" She admitted, holding up the paper for him to take a peak at and huffed in genuine surprise at seeing someone on THIS ship actually take some form of interest in the performing arts.

"Huh- Never expected anyone here to be into performing arts. You should draw one of my shows next! One of the best you've ever seen!" He bragged, Grinning as he started to talk about his favorites acts in his shows. From his innocent juggling tricks to the gruesome of having a marine try to tightrope over a raging fire. (Y/N) raised a brow at his boasting and patted his head, more out of habit then anything else which surprised Buggy.

"Well if I ever see a show of yours we're people aren't being tortured to death I'll draw it for you. Deal?" Buggy grinned widely at this and nodded excitedly.

"So what- you're a theater kid or something?- not many people know about shows like this"

"Oh yeah. I'm a total theater brat- My mother was a performer and my father was a musician" (Y/N) said with a chuckle. Thinking back to those days, The anxiety that hung in the air before a show, the live music that filled the air and the heartwarming stories that everyone watched.

"Is that the only type of brat you are?~" Buggy teased with a wink, (Y/N) gave his a mock disgusted look and poked his forehead.

"Pervert- Like you're one to talk. I can smell a fellow theater kid from a mile away- Also the grease paint doesn't help"

"Hey! While my shows are top notch I wouldn't compare them to some low brow theater"

"Oh? So you don't watch any plays" She questioned, a knowing smile on her lips as she met his now narrowed gaze. "No..." He muttered, his own tone of voice starting to betray him.

"Damn- well I could have sworn that I heard a certain barrel singing a song from that really sweet Romcom Play Gaizu & Douruzu (Guys and Dolls)-" She said with a bright smile- Buggy's face turning pale and staring at her with a mixture of embrassment and mild anger.

"...Now you are just being cruel-" He deadpanned and (Y/N) couldn't help but let out a cackle.

"That one is an exception!" He shouted making them laugh harder, He puffed his cheeks in a pout. (Y/n) Wiping the tears from her eyes and poking his puffed our cheek.

"Awww, I didn't mean to make you upset Mr. Scary clown- It's a good play!" She protested as he gave her a Mock glare. He stared at her for a second as she straightened herself out, Buggy staring at them for a hard moment.

"Hey W-" Buggy voice was cut off as the intercom system sounded through the ship. "Food is Ready" Sanji voice rang out as (Y/N) got up with a skip in her step. "I'll be right back!" She called out leaving Buggy by himself- He didn't voice it but he had enjoyed (Y/N) company.

When she returned (Y/N) holding a large bowl of seafood risotto. Buggy felt his mouth watering at the sight and his face twisted up- Expecting him to just have to watch them eat like all the other Strawhats. However he was pleasantly surprised when you held out a spoonful to him. His eyes widened at this and he greedily took the bite, Moaning as he savored the taste. (Y/N) taking her own bite with the same spoon before offering him another. He stares at them for a moment-

"..Why are you being nice to me?"

Buggy asked as he accepted at the bite of food. Watching them as they ate a bite of their own and thought for a moment.

"Well I don't see why I need to be mean to you?" She said softly, Making Buggy stare at them a bit confused.

"I'm ... Me? I mean I hurt your friends, Im a Pirate of a rivaling pirate crew! You should hate me?" He said softly, he felt a small peg to his ego but he couldn't help it.

"I guess...but I wasn't there to see all of what you did. I always try to think people deserve a chance even if others think against it. After all, we are a different kind of Pirate-" She said softly, Feeding him another bite of the risotto. His eyes locked onto her, He didn't remeber the last time someone treated him with this level of kindness?... actually thinking he could be something better or giving him the benefit of the doubt.

"Huh- Quite the sappy one" He joked, making (Y/N) also chuckle a bit and shrug once more.

"Well what can I say- Us theater brats gotta stick together"

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Representation

Oh, so NOW child abuse is bad. Could have fooled me last episode!

Let's get into the twenty-fifth episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fifth season: Representation

We start off with an English news report recapping the ending of “Revolution”, stating that Ms. Bustier is going to run for mayor, conveniently ignoring her attempted coup in “Collusion”. We also see that Gabriel and Tomoe are still uncomfortably focused on making Adrien and Kagami appear to be a couple in public, much to their dismay. While Kagami is visited by Argos (who once again sneaks up on her, like he usually does), Adrien realizes he can transform into his space form and see Marinette whenever he wants and transforms into Cat Noir, planning to reveal his identity to Marinette. Hey, did he even tell Ladybug about his sudden departure? Because it didn't go well the last time he left Paris without telling her (New York Special).

We then cut to Marinette right after the events of “Revolution”, going to the end of the year dance... even though when we saw Adrien and Kagami in London, the sun was still setting, and France's time zone is only about an hour later, meaning Adrien and Kagami must have flown there at ludicrous speed.

Meanwile, Argos and Kagami somehow got from London to Paris offscreen, and watch Marinette from afar, with Kagami revealing she knows she's Ladybug. They decide to tell Marinette that Felix knows who Monarch is in order to ensure his downfall. Nah, I'm just kidding. Here's the real reason they're coming to Marinette for help.

Kagami: My mother and Gabriel Agreste will never allow us to love each other freely. Only Ladybug can help us.

Yep, rather than prioritize the fact that Gabriel is endangering the citizens of Paris on a daily basis, Kagami is seriously more concerned about her relationship with her boyfriend being tampered with. This is like saying Lex Luthor is evil because he cheats on his taxes. Argos transforms back into Felix, and... oh, for the love of God... he disguises himself as Adrien in order to get closer to Marinette. You can't keep portraying Felix as this master of disguise if he only has ONE disguise!

Marinette sees “Adrien” and assumes he came back from London from her, assuming her boyfriend is much more active that the writers actually believe he is, so she tries to follow him while avoiding the guests at the party. Meanwhile, Gabriel and Tomoe learn their children are gone, so he goes to talk with Nathalie and—why the hell is she like that?

Seriously, this has never been established as something that happens when someone uses the broken Peacock Miraculous. Why didn't this happen to Emilie? She looks pretty healthy in her little coffin, and I doubt Gabriel is an embalmer.

Anyway, after Nathalie once again reminds us that she hates Gabriel, but not enough to call the cops on him, Gabriel transforms into Monarch and immediately detransforms back in order to akumatize himself into Nightormentor.

Nightormentor is a pretty average recolor of the Collector's design, which kind of makes sense, considering that Gabriel himself intended the Akuma for himself. The star pattern is okay, but there's not much I can really say. As for his powers, he's just another Sandboy, being able to force people to hallucinate their worse nightmares, only instead of a pillow, his weapon is a staff created from a pen containing the Akuma, with the Horse Miraculous' Voyage to boot. Why he didn't just give himself the same powers he gave Truth when he's trying to find Adrien is anyone's guess.

Cat Noir arrives at the Eiffel Tower to talk with Marinette, just as Nightormentor appears. The two fight, and after a few civilians get caught in the crossfire, Nightormentor escapes through Voyage. As Cat Noir heads to the Dupain-Cheng bakery at the advising of Max, Alya and Nino decide that the totally not useless Resistance should get involved.

While Marinette gives chase, Felix leads her into the school's art classroom, where he transforms into Argos and creates a Sentimonster using Kagami's ring. Felix and Kagami use the Sentimonster's power to do... uh... whatever the hell this is.

Yeah, this is basically a flashback, but the animators probably blew their budget needed for the new models on Ms. Bustier's baby bump, so we're getting this instead, thanks to the Sentimonster Argos created. There are several scenes of Cat Noir and Nightormentor interspersed, but like what I did with Marinette's flashback in “Derision”, I'll give you the summary before I talk about my problems with this.

When Adrien's mother and aunt, Emilie and Amelie, were born, Emilie (who was born seven seconds early) was trusted with the family heirlooms, the two rings we first saw all the way back in “Felix”. Even though this meant she would inherit the family name, Emilie didn't really like doing... whatever the Graham de Vanily family wanted her to do, but Amelie did. Eventually, while studying abroad, Emilie met Gabriel, and the two fell in love. Before marrying Gabriel, Emilie gave up her role as the sole inheritor of the Graham de Vanily family's vague legacy, while Amelie married a man named Colt to please her parents. Both couples wanted children, but it's heavily implied that Emilie and Amelie were infertile, so their wishes weren't able to come true. Emilie finally managed to get a bun in the oven thanks to the Peacock Miraculous, but this made Colt jealous that he couldn't have a child. Out of the goodness of her heart, Emilie asked Gabriel to give the Peacock Miraculous to Colt, in exchange for letting the Gorilla guard Adrien in the future. Using his own jealousy as a source of power, Colt got Amelie pregnant, though at the cost of his health. Colt figured this was the price he had to pay for using “sorcery”, and used this as an excuse to treat Felix like a monster and ordered him around using the ring containing his Amok. Felix himself was unaware that he wasn't human until Colt accidentally broke the ring (which wasn't one of the two wedding rings used to control Adrien and was an entirely different ring containing Felix's Amok), which he stole as soon as Colt died. This is meant to explain why Felix decided to steal back the Peacock Miraculous, in order to save his life. Felix later met Kagami, and the two explain that they need “Someone like Ladybug” to help them.

Now if your only information about this episode is through my summary, it seems simple enough. For everyone else who actually saw this sequence in the episode itself, I'm guessing your thoughts were about the same as mine.

Let's go over every problem I have with this scene, starting with...

#1: The Way Kagami and Felix Explain This

Let me just ask something: Why can't Felix just talk to Marinette about what he knows since he now knows she's Ladybug instead of telling her everything through this weird play? You can still tell Marinette all of this without your two-man show. In fact, why did Felix have to wait until he knew Marinette was Ladybug instead of just talking to her the next time he saw her? Yeah, you could argue it's easier this way, but like I've been saying since Season 4, Felix has had no excuse to wait this long to tell Ladybug about the fact that he knows who her greatest enemy is.

And why the hell is it presented this way? Why does Felix have to recontextualize the story of his family's history in the form of a play? Why turn it into a stereotypical fairy tale that leaves out the names of all the important people, like Emilie, Amelie, Colt (whose name I only learned through the transcript of this episode), and Gabriel? If it was like a hidden message Felix and Kagami wanted to convey to Marinette, that would make sense, but why do they have to be so cryptic when they're only putting this show on for one person? You could easily avoid a good chunk of the questions this raises if this was a show Felix and Kagami put on for the public that Marinette was able to learn the information from. Yeah, it still wouldn't explain why Felix can't just tell Marinette about who Gabriel really is, but at least it's something.

The way it all happens kind of reminds me of this scene from this old Halloween special I saw a lot as a kid, Scary Godmother: Halloween Spooktacular. In that scene, some of the kids act out a scene of this little girl's parents entrusting her with a flashlight to explain why she carries it around, in order to scare off any monsters she runs into, using the graveyard they were in as a makeshift set. This scene works a lot more because it's done in more of a tongue-in-cheek way, with some of the kids breaking character to boost their own egos (for example, the kid playing the mom comments about how responsible she is), and how one kid in particular gradually gets fed up with the whole thing. The scene does its job at delivering exposition in a way that isn't meant to be taken too seriously, and it's clear this is being done by some kids goofing around in-universe.

With this episode, it's clear that the writers want the audience to take this whole backstory seriously in spite of how absurd it all is. Seriously look at this.

We are seriously expected to take this backstory seriously when it looks like some theater major's midterm project. The animators want it to look artsy and unique for the sake of making it look artsy and unique. Why does it look like a play these two put together themselves if they're supposedly using a Sentimonster's power to do it? If the unnamed Sentimonster's powers is how Marinette is seeing all this, why can't it actually be seen as a flashback? Was it always intended to be a handmade play that was changed to the product of a Sentimonster at the last minute?

I get that the animators probably wanted kids to pick up on the visuals of the play, but even then, it makes it hard to really stomach the serious themes this backstory brings up, like infertility and child abuse, with the way they're presented. Not only do Felix and Kagami all play the characters using these white jumpsuits and masks, they also do all the voices, meaning that the only “dialogue” we hear from Colt is delivered by Kagami putting on a deeper voice. Let me repeat that: the only times we hear Colt, the abusive parent and all around garbage human being, talk, it's done by a teenage girl trying to make her voice sound deeper.

But hey, maybe the goofy voice will be overshadowed by the nuanced depiction of child abuse, right? Right?

#2: The Portrayal of Colt and the Double Standards Regarding His Treatment of Felix

I have never seen a single show struggle this much to convey a lesson as simple as “Child abuse is bad”.

When it comes to the parents in this show, terrible parents like Gabriel, Audrey, and Tomoe are almost never held accountable for the way they treated their children. If the writers aren't claiming they really love their children deep down, they're either downplaying how cruel they are at best or playing their behavior for laughs at worst. But here we are, the penultimate episode of the fifth season, and we finally have a parent who is unambiguously treated as a terrible human being with no redeeming qualities... and I still have problems with this.

This flashback really goes out of its way to let the audience that Colt was a real piece of scum in life. He only wanted a child out of jealousy, used his Amok to force Felix to do whatever he wanted, was heavily implied to have physically beat him at times, and blamed him for his poor health on his deathbed when he was the one who wanted to use the Peacock in the first place. Now that I think about it, why did Colt even use the Peacock to create Felix instead of Emelie? Was the episode so determined to paint Colt as a bastard that he wanted to be the one to create Felix himself?

The point I'm trying to make is that the show doesn't really explain why Colt was like this. Why was he such an angry man who treated his only child like crap? I don't know, because all the show's telling me is that he was just a dick. He honestly feels more like a caricature than anything else. He's only as terrible of a person he is in order to make the audience sympathize with Felix. I'm not saying that what Felix went through was okay, but it has the same energy as scenes of Gabriel talking to Emilie's body. It's mostly there to make the audience sympathize with an antagonistic character in spite of all the things they've done.

What's really weird is that even though the whole point of this play is so Felix can tell Marinette Gabriel is Monarch, so what does Colt have to do with this? I'm not saying he's not worth mentioning, but it makes no sense for Felix to tell Marinette about his abusive father before he tells her about Gabriel. It feels more like Felix wants to find a way to excuse his actions before telling Marinette about Gabriel being Monarch. And remember when “Derision” made a big deal about Chloe's terrible parents not excusing her actions? Funny how that conveniently doesn't apply to Felix in this episode.

In fact, let's talk about the elephant in the room: The fact that this episode aired right after “Revolution”, an episode that literally said a character living under an abusive and controlling parent was a fitting punishment for her. HOW THE HELL IS THIS ANY DIFFERENT FROM THAT? If anything, this episode really shows the double standards this show has about child abuse, how the only way your situation can be taken seriously is if you're a “good victim”. Chloe's a “bad victim”, so she doesn't get any sympathy when her mother outright says she's going to take control of her life, yet when Colt actually takes control of Felix's life, we're supposed to sympathize with him now. Why am I supposed to feel bad for Felix now when you just told me I shouldn't feel bad for someone in a similar situation last episode?

In fact, one theory I have about this backstory is that it was intended to kill two birds with one stone, no pun intended. I believe that this episode wasn't just written to give us more insight into who Felix is as a character, but also to show the audience what “real” child abuse is like. As far as the show is concerned with Gabriel, Audrey, and Tomoe? They're not actually abusive parents, Colt is, so you should condemn his actions, and not those three. It's blatant double standards, which is nothing new for this show.

#3: The Way Amelie Just... Lets This All Happen

In my “Derision” review, I discussed how strange it was that so many people in Marinette's life did nothing to help her against Chloe, and the same thing applies here with Amelie.

This episode never really explains where Amelie was when Colt was abusing Felix, much less if she was even aware of it. At least with Marinette's parents, they didn't know because most of Marinette's suffering was at school. Amelie lives with Felix and Colt, so what's her excuse? She seriously didn't overhear Colt yelling at Felix or notice the orders Colt gave Felix? Was she just that ignorant to her child's suffering? Remember, this is supposed to be Felix's good parent.

In fact, does Amelie even know Felix is a Sentimonster? Yeah, “Emotion” established that Amelie knows Felix is Argos, but this episode doesn't really make it clear if she knows Felix is a Sentimonster or not. If it was clear Amelie knew nothing about what Felix really was, it would arguably make things easier to stomach, as she wouldn't know the power Colt had over him.

Instead, even though she's Felix's mother, the show doesn't really explain what she actually did when Colt was making Felix's life a living hell, especially since the flashback says that Amelie was forced to marry Colt, so you can't even say she was blinded by love here. Hell, I'm not even sure if Amelie knew the cause of Colt's untimely passing.

#4:This Doesn’t Really Do Much to Explain Felix’s Actions

Now before you say I'm being insensitive, let me make one thing clear: My issue isn't with the fact that this was done to get the audience to sympathize with Felix. The problem I have is that the backstory doesn't do enough to explain why Felix did the things he did.

Okay, Felix wants the Peacock Miraculous. Understandable, he doesn't want to die, so he has to do morally questionable things to preserve his life like betraying the only person capable of stopping the man who can kill him. What's less understandable is his plan to get the Peacock Miraculous from Gabriel. You'll notice that the backstory didn't mention Felix's first appearance, where he only stole the rings belonging to Amelie's family, and he didn't even think to look for the Peacock. Instead, it cuts from Felix realizing he's a Sentimonster to him striking a deal with Gabriel, not even mentioning that he gave Gabriel back one of the rings as part of the deal, which still makes no sense.

If Felix's goal from the start was to get the Peacock Miraculous, why did he bother stealing all of Marinette's Miraculous as a bargaining chip for the deal instead of the family ring? In fact, why did Felix even steal the ring and wait an entire season to trade it back to Gabriel for the Peacock a season later? And for someone who claims to care about Adrien, he really didn't see anything wrong with giving Gabriel one of the two rings capable of overriding his free will.

As a matter of fact, why the hell is Felix even so hostile towards Adrien? Why did he go out of his way to smear his reputation in his debut episode if all he wanted to do was make a bargain with Hawkmoth? In “Risk”, he mocked Adrien for how he talked, while Adrien himself was aware of how he made him look bad in front of his friends, and that's not even getting into how he made himself look like Adrien as part of his plan to betray Ladybug, which would have screwed him even more if Adrien wasn't already Cat Noir. For someone who claims he wants to protect him from Gabriel, Felix really doesn't care about his cousin all that much.

In fact, why does Felix even hate Gabriel at all? The show hinted that the two had a history, yet during the backstory, which I need to remind you, was told from Felix's perspective on the events, has a surprisingly generous portrayal of Gabriel. Did Felix know Gabriel was Hawkmoth/Shadowmoth/Monarch during his first appearance? Does Felix blame Gabriel for how Colt treated him growing up? Does Felix hate Gabriel for how he treats Adrien? Did Gabriel intend to get Colt sick in the first place? Seriously, what is Felix's deal with Gabriel?!

How does a flashback organized by Felix himself do nothing to really explain why he did the things he did?

#5: The Fact That There Are STILL Several Unanswered Questions Here

For something meant to fill the audience in on several important topics, there are still so many questions about the history of the Agreste and Graham de Vanily families.

Other than the vague backstory about them being rich, we still know nothing about Emilie and Amelie other than them being rich and possibly infertile. We don't know if Amelie ever loved Colt, if she knew he was abusing Felix, or if she even knew if he used the Peacock to play god.

On a related note, why did Emilie and Gabriel decide to use the Peacock Miraculous to create a son instead of adopting? Scratch that, why did she specifically create a Sentimonster to give birth to like a normal baby? Was there some kind of Macbeth-esque guideline that Emilie had to give birth to a child in order for said child to get the inheritance? Did she use the ring to control Adrien like Gabriel does now? Seriously, this is the character the show's conflict is all based around, and we still know nothing about her other than the fact that she was nice.

This flashback just makes no sense, and is such a stupid and confusing way to deliver exposition.

Anyway, during all this, Cat Noir and Nightormentor are fighting, and for the third time this season, Cat Noir attempts to Cataclysm him someone, even when he had Nightormentor pinned down. Nightormentor breaks free and hits Cat Noir with his magic dust, causing him to hallucinate... Cat Blanc?

Yeah, the script calls this form “Anticat”, but given how it looks like a reused Cat Blanc model coupled with the petrified people of Paris, this is clearly meant to bring Cat Blanc to mind. The problem is that NEITHER CAT NOIR OR NIGHTORMENTOR KNOW ABOUT THAT. Why would you remind audiences about an Akuma that technically never existed?

Better yet, is this what Cat Noir trying to his Cataclysm on people this past season (Destruction, Jubilation, Derision) has been building up to? The fear that he'll lose control? You could have fooled me, as he never really showed that much remorse for almost hurting people other than Monarch. Yeah, you could argue that because Nightormentor based his hallucinations off his victims' worst fears, but again, this fear had little to no buildup this season because Cat Noir never felt any guilt for Cataclysming Monarch after “Destruction”, and whenever tried to use his Cataclysm on other people, Cat Noir never really realized the weight of his actions. If you want to make a character arc about Cat Noir worrying about hurting people with his powers, go more into the guilt he feels for hurting Monarch and using that guilt to affect his actions. Don't just use some “Cat Blanc” nostalgia bait to convince the audience that there's been a character arc.

Nightormentor takes advantage of Cat Noir's emotional state to get his Miraculous, only for the Resistance to save Cat Noir by... throwing stuff at him. And this is how they defeat him. While Nino, Alya, Ivan, and Zoe distract Nightormentor, Kim and Max help Cat Noir focus, Cat Noir Cataclysms Nightormentor's baton.

Zoe traps the Akuma in a jar, Cat Noir doesn't take it, he heads off to detransform and confess to Marinette, only for the hallucination to still affect him since Ladybug didn't use Miraculous Ladybug to fix the damage, and even though he knows it's just a hallucination, he still uses it as a reason to not reveal his identity to Marinette, even after Ladybug de-evilizes the Akuma herself.

The episode ends with Gabriel and Tomoe locking Adrien and Kagami in these white rooms while under heavy surveillance to ensure they won't escape, vowing to start “Operation: Perfect Alliance”. Because these two like using the word “perfect” more than they like subjecting their children to what one of my anons referred to as “white torture”.

Because that's a good way to keep your children under control: psychological torment.

Other than the stuff with Felix and Kagami, this episode was pretty dull.

There's just not much I can really say here. The plot was barebones, all Marinette did was listen to Felix and Kagami's story so the writers didn't have to involve any of them in the main conflict, and even Cat Noir confronting his akumatized father doesn't have a lot of weight to it because towards the end, it focuses more on Adrien's nightmare instead of his relationship with his father.

This episode is nothing more than a prologue for the final battle. It's only here to establish Adrien and Kagami's presence in London, Marinette learning Gabriel is Monarch, and even more setup for Gabriel and Tomoe's final plan. And trust me, the buildup will be far from worth it.

THE BIGGEST IDIOT OF THE EPISODE IS... FELIX

It's amazing. The only time this season Felix goes out of his way to actually help Ladybug, and he still screws it up. He abducted Kagami from her hotel in London without thinking of Tomoe hunting him down again when that was the entire plot of “Pretension”, only decided to tell Marinette he knows who Monarch is because he's getting in the way of his relationship with his girlfriend, did so in an unnecessarily convoluted way, and even though he made a big deal about not wanting to use Sentimonsters in his last appearance, he still used one to tell Marinette his life story instead of just saying “My uncle is Monarch”.

And if you think Felix will get a chance to truly redeem himself in the finale, think again, bucko. Other than a brief cameo, this is the last thing he'll do this season. Aren't you glad the writers made this character prominent for seven episodes over three seasons and did nothing else with him?

[weirdmorefics]

benedict with a younger sister who he catches at one of the parties he goes to talking to a man who has less than innocent intentions with her and she’s oblivious and just thought it would be a fun place to drink bcs that’s what she’d heard when was out at the park earlier that day

A/N- Sorry for it taking a while I really am starting to believe in the fanfiction curse. I also made up the seedy guy who had unhonorable intentions in this story just an FYI.

Readers Pronouns- She/Her

TW- Sexism

Word Count- 1,653

Summary- Benedict goes to a local gathering of artists and happens to find his darling younger sister enjoying the company of some of Benedict's unsavory friends.

Unhonorable Intentions

I am a rake. I take no shame in this fact. I am allowed to be a free spirit it is my birthright as the second-born son. No obligations no responsibility. I would loathe to be in Anthony's shoes. Though Y/n seems to have made it her mission for me to walk in his shoes tonight. What is she even doing in a place like this? Last I knew she preferred literature over the arts. Yet she hangs on a man's arm as he explains his next work. in progress that he is sure will be his Magnus opus. I glare at them hopefully sister notices my gaze burning into her side so I can continue my night as if nothing happened. However, when I glare at them I realize who the man she is talking to is and now I know there is no way I can continue my night. Unfortunately said man felt my gaze instead of Y/n and smiled and pulled her forcefully along with him.

"Bridgerton! It's grand to see you! We've missed you at the club!" Alexander shakes my hand roughly and I return it with an insincere smile. "Saw you eyeing my new muse, I regret to inform you I don't share." God, I want to gag as I know what he does with his so-called muses. Y/n smiles at being called his muse she does love it when I draw her but this man does not have honorable intentions. He and I have very different definitions of what a muse is. My idea of a muse is someone who inspires you to create, Alexander's idea of a muse is a woman to sleep with and then abandon.

I straighten back to assert my taller posture over the man, "And I regret to inform you your so-called muse is my darling baby sister." I look down at her with demanding eyes, "I do say it is time we get back to Mother. Isn't Y/n?"

She looks taken aback by my tone, "What do you mean? I just got here."

Alexanders' grin increases tenfold, "A Bridgeton! Benedict I had no idea you were hiding such a beauty to yourself! If I was her brother I'd never let her out of the house either." This man is truly revolting the artist community here is unfortunately very small and I have to find a way to remain civil.

Y/n smiles, "So you know Alexander? That's too bad really I was hoping to learn some different art techniques from him to impart to you! I had no idea you knew such a famous artist!"

I grit my teeth, "Famous now Alexander are we?"

This flusters him for a moment but he recovers quickly, "Aren't all artists famous in a different sort of way?"

I want to laugh at such an absurd response… sadly Y/n is far too naive for her own good.

"I agree wholeheartedly! Benedict is the most famous artist in our family! I'm quite jealous of his talent I must admit! It makes sense he would be at such a regal event filled with so much talent. To be truthful I overheard this soiree would have fabulous drinks on this morning's promenade and couldn't resist," she gushes over my talents and breaks my heart for not being more present in my siblings' lives.

Anthony just seemed to have it all handled, Daphne was married off, Eloise could certainly hold her own ground, Francessa was so busy with her studies, and Mother had Gregory and Hycanith under control. Even though Y/n is Eloise's twin she couldn't be any more different she believes the best in everyone and is too quick to forgive in my opinion and Alexander is taking advantage of that and I will not let that stand.

I smile down at Y/n, "Y/n you downplay your own talents no need to associate with a man whose talents consist of preying on women through false pretenses."

Her eyes widen to the size of quarters, "Benedict you can not make such outrageous claims!"

I pretend to not know exactly what she is talking about, "You mean your talents? Your poetry talent is outrageous and that's not a claim it's just a fact."

She blushes at the compliment but for some asinine reason still wants to defend Alexander. Though it seemed her brain could not keep up with the unusual compliment from me and the unflattering words I spoke about Alexander she just stuttered unintelligible anger, shock, and joy all marking her face. Alexander on the other hand was just fuming red.

"First you insult me Bridgerton then you demean poetry as a genre by encouraging a woman to write it." he snarls.

I have never seen Y/n turn so quickly and before anyone in the room knows what's happening a resounding slap is heard over all the chatter and everyone turns to the noise. Alexander's eye is twitching and a red welt in the shape of my sister's hand is forming on his face. He glares at her with murderous eyes but she holds her head high I have never seen her this determined and it makes me wonder what else I missed while she was growing up and I was galavanting around with men like Alexander.

She points an angry finger at him like Mother would when she would scold us, "Gentleman like yourself actually I wouldn't even call men like you gentleman but that's beside the point. Men like you say women are too emotional to do anything but care for the home. Poetry is all about emotion it's supposed to make you feel something like the art you make, or apparently don't make from what I just learned from Benedict's side comment. I would also like to remind you who is in charge of our country or rather what sex they are?"

All eyes are on us and Alexander looks like he might strangle Y/n with his two hands if the vein bulging out of his forehead is any indicator.

"Oh and by the way when I complimented your line work on your latest piece I was lying it was shit but you know how men can be so emotional I didn't want to hurt your feelings," she fake pouted. This is definitely not the young sister I once knew she may still be naive but she has now learned to use her talent with words as a knife.

Alexander's arm shoots to roughly grab her but I am quick to block, "I'm Alexander but we must be going. It was so nice talking to you as always. I would definitely take my dear sister's words under advisement to spend more time working on your line art." I then pull him very closely into my body and if anyone hadn't seen the previous incident they would have thought it was just two chaps hugging. I whisper, "Less time with lines of ladies and coke you might find yourself able to make straight lines. And if I ever hear you laid a hand on my sister I will kill you myself." I roughly release him and he scrambles backwards ungracefully as all eyes on him.

I link arms with Y/n, "Come on we must really be going now."

Once we make it outside away from prying eyes she quickly bursts into sobs, "Gods what have I done! I was just so angry he'd judge me just based on my sex. God, what if Lady Whistledown writes about me!" She starts pacing with her hands on her forehead and this is the Y/n I am all too familiar with, " Oh God what if Mama reads it! What if I ruin the Bridgerton name? Anthony will never forgive me!"

I clap and quickly gain her attention back, "You certainly won't be the first Bridgerton featured in Lady Whistledown and I am certain you will not be the last."

"Not helping!' She shouts back.

"No one will be mad you stood your ground… in fact, I am quite proud of you."

Her eyes study me, "Are you serious? I just slapped your friend in a soiree full of your peers."

"Anthony was more of an acquaintance," I add.

She rolls her eyes, "That is not the point!"

I sigh, "Yes, I am proud. You defended your honor and didn't need my help to do so. Though I am sure any of your brothers would be there in a heartbeat to defend it including me."

She smiles, "You're proud of me."

"I am not saying it again," I state.

she starts to repeat you're proud of me in a sing-songy voice.

"My pride in you is diminishing and my worry is growing. I think I will be around more often seems like Anthony isn't keeping a watchful enough eye on you if he let you go to a seedy event like this."

She tilts her head, "But you were at the event?"

"Exactly I only attend seedy events, though it appears now I must reform. Think of me has your second Anthony," maybe having responsibilities won't be so bad if I get to see Y/n chew out more men like Alexander.

She groans, "I don't want another Anthony how will I ever do anything fun."

"That's the point Y/n," I smile.

She groans, "I hope Lady Whistledown writes you into the story and makes you sound dreadful."

"As long as she writes how daring and smart my younger sister is we will be on good terms," I smile as she groans again at her failed attempt to get under my skin.

"Thank you, I guess," she responds.

I may be late in helping my siblings but at least they all still have some more growing to do and I plan to be there for all of it.

[bouquetface]

SAGITTARIUS RISING:

Planets in first house. Placement & aspects towards chart ruler will all change the accuracy of this description. Lmk if your experience with or as a sag risings.

Appearance

Some believe due to Pluto’s influence from 1995 to 2008, sag rising individuals born during this time are likely to appear scorpio-like. In my experience, these individuals still clearly separate from scorpio risings.

A sag rising is a mutable fire sign. They are likely to often change their style. Make impulsive and/or “wild” choices in life and appearance. For example:

🔥 Sag risings tend to gravitate towards tattoos. Due to their fiery nature, they may get impulsive tattoos. Not as likely to be into the style of one BIG piece of artwork tattoo. More smaller, doodle-like tattoos.

🔥 You know how some people plan out their tatts for months & think about a deeper meaning for the art? Sag rising may have a few of those but they’ll also just get what they want just because they fucking want it. A friend pulls out a tattoo gun at a party, yeah they’re probably down. They don’t need months to think about should i or should i not.

🔥 My sag rising friend once said before getting their tatt, “I don’t need to wait until someone dies, I’m just going to get this because I love Fight Club”. The tatt was loosely inspired by the film.

🔥 Sag risings may gravitate towards hair dye. Unlike other signs, sag rising are more likely to go for unnatural hair colours (blue, green, purple, pink, etc). Due to their mutable nature, they may like changing up their hair colour &/or style more often than most.

This is my experience with GEN Z sag risings. Sag risings born before 1995, are almost nothing like this. They do like to change up their look but not in such bold and permanent ways.

For ex: If they dye their hair, it’s a natural colour (brown, black, blonde, red). More likely to get highlights than full on bleach their hair.

When they get a tattoo, they often get it in a common area of the body. Keep it easy to hide. Less likely to undergo a big, bold, permanent &/or transformative physical change. If they do, they generally keep it hidden.

For ex: I know a sag rising born before ‘95, they have a cosmetic surgery done. However, they keep this a secret. They desire both the big, bold look & the natural look.

An old school sag is more likely to express that abundant nature of their ruler Jupiter through hair. Men and women may have very long hair. Yet, they may wake up one day and randomly decide to buzz it.

Personality

Keep in mind this will be influenced by the ENTIRE chart.

Generally, these individuals are prone to feel FOMO. They love experiences. Better to regret having done it than regret not having done anything is more their motto. They can be the most entertaining people.

They can develop fun, humorous and charming personality. It’s likely for a sag rising to have friends in various places across the world. They make friends every where they go.

Sometimes, they can be identified through their communication style. Their jokes and language can be vulgar at times. They may swear a lot without realizing it. This is strongly affected by their mercury placement though.

This extroverted nature could be affected by other placements. In my experience, when these individuals aren’t extroverted & popular, they deeply desire to be welcomed.

The sag rising purpose is to wander and gather as much as information possible. Explore various places, ideals, people and philosophies.

They are likely to philosophize their lives. Questioning what is the meaning of this event? Why did that happen?

Generally, they are open minded & optimistic. However, if a sag rising feels they’ve come to a good conclusion from their experiences, they can come off as arrogant & close minded.

They can preach their philosophy - this can be perceived as talking too much & being argumentative. An extreme version of this is a cult leader. A more common version is someone who is passionate and wishes to share their knowledge.

[yanderes-galore]

Short/one shot of Jinx from Arcane "adopting" (read: kidnapping) a new "sister" to make everything better and replace liar-abandoner-Vi(can be after the final events of the last season 1 episode or before, up to you). Platonic, female (or Jinx just doesn't care, they're still her "sister" now), darling is an adult as according to the rules- 🧪

Sure! Writing some Delusional Jinx could be cool. I just hope I get her right as she is a very deep character. Takes place in no specific part of the series, could be during or after season 1.

Sisters

Yandere! Platonic! Jinx Short

Pairing: Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Kidnapping, Murder, Violence, Delusional behavior, Manipulation, Darling has a mentioned sibling, Stalking, Parasocial relationship mention, Forced companionship/family dynamic, Possible OOC Jinx at times.

It just takes one spark.

It takes one little spark before a fire starts and grows out of control.

Jinx saw familiarity in you. By chance she saw you on one of her "outings". She witnessed your caring nature in action... a display of love towards someone you cared for.

You were someone completely random. Someone who happened to also have a sibling... a sight echoing the past she yearned to forget. Despite the pain watching you caused... she kept her gaze on you whenever she could.

You were never far from your sibling. It looked like you were similar ages. Jinx felt... envious of your care.

When she sees you, she thinks of Vi. The thought makes her grit her teeth. Yet at the same time... she feels you're different.

She sees you never abandon your sibling as she watches you. She admits she shouldn't be watching, there's nothing special here. But Jinx wishes so deeply to have a piece of that love.

Watching you becomes a past time. She feels happier when you are away from that sibling of yours. It gives her delusions time to fester.

When she watches you alone she imagines you as her sister. She fantasizes of the care you give and the love you show. All a feeling she lost long ago.

Jinx even gets braver and follows you home. When you reside in your home she watches from the windows. All the while she sees you as a new sister, one that can help her, one better than Vi.

When she sees your sibling greet and hug you rage brews in her. She feels her fingers cut into her palms as she watches you and them be happy. She wants that.

Jinx develops a parasocial relationship with you. She believes you're meant to be her sister. She thinks you'll love her like you do your sibling.

Meanwhile all you see is the shape of a young woman in the darkness. You just see glimpses out of the corner of your eye of blue hair late at night. Then by your window you swear you see intense purple eyes.

To you, Jinx is just something... someone you see out of the corner of your eye.

Up until she decides to let herself in and become part of your life.

---

Graffiti art lines the walls in blinding pinks and blues. It's the first thing that meets your eyes in the dimly lit room. Other than that, most of your body feels heavy.

As you regain consciousness you slowly learn more about your situation. Ropes tie you to a chair, restricting your movement. You try to cry out... only for a cloth gag to prevent any noise.

You try to figure out where you are but the location is too unfamiliar. Various things hang from the wall and inventions line a table. It looks like a hideout.

But for who?

"Good to see your awake! Waiting for you was getting boring." A chipper voice rings from the shadows. You feel your body go rigid when a silhouette comes into view. A young woman with long blue braids stares at you with purple eyes.

She gives you a smile before kneeling beside you. Something about her seems familiar but you can't quite tell. Something about those swirling purple eyes unnerves you when she looks at you.

Like they've haunted you for awhile now.

"I was hoping my new sister would be more excited, but I guess it's because we've never met!" The woman sighs, nearly leaning on you. She never takes her eyes off you. She just stares lovingly... like she's been waiting for this.

Sister...?

"Don't scream." Her words are a command as she moves the wet cloth away from your mouth. You cough a few times, your mouth feeling strange and dry. You then see the woman toss the cloth away haphazardly.

"Where am I!? Who are you...?" You find yourself asking in search of some sort of answer. The woman giggles to herself, laying her head in your lap.

"Well... you can call me Jinx. In terms of where you are... you're in your new home!" The woman, Jinx, explains as she makes herself comfortable halfway on your lap.

"Why'd you call me sister...?" You ask cautiously. Jinx's gaze darkens for a moment and she gets off you to pace about the room.

"Because that's what we are! Sisters... we're sisters, aren't we? Ones that never abandon each other... or call each other useless...."

Jinx's tone shifts, lost in thought before shaking herself out of it. You're still confused on what she means. You've never met her before.

"I've never met you... I'm only a sister to one person and that's-"

"Not anymore." Her words are brief and quick. Those same haunting purple eyes glare at you before softening. She then bursts into another fir of giggles. "No, no... they're gone! Just like Vi! It's just us, two sisters... happy with each other!"

You feel anxiety squeeze your gut at her words. Not anymore... she-?

"What did you do!?" You quickly ask, Jinx swapping back to her darker gaze.

"Replaced them I guess." Jinx hums as you choke back a sob. "You don't need them just like I don't need Vi. With you... things will be okay. You'll love me just like them... won't you?"

Jinx stalks closer, her words dangerous. Her gaze stares at you like an apex predator. You say nothing... and she wraps herself around you.

"I'd do anything to be your sister..." Jinx whispers, her grip tightening. "I'd kill for you... anything just to feel your warmth and earn your praise."

"You killed them...?" Your voice is barely a whisper and tears fall from your face. Jinx softly wipes them away before nuzzling her face into your shoulder.

"We were meant to be sisters." Jinx simply continues, not answering your question fully. "I just know you won't betray or abandon me. I won't let that happen."

Jinx giggles again, looking up at you. She strangely acts like a child towards you, smiling like a young kid. She acts like she hasn't killed someone close to you.

"Ever since I first saw you I knew you'd be perfect. I knew you'd be better than... her." Jinx hisses the last bit before sighing. "You'll love me... eventually."

She then jumps off you before swinging herself behind you. You feel her grip your chin before forcing you to look at her. A disturbing grin sears into your memory... accompanied by swirling purple eyes of adoration.

"We've got all the time we could ever need to get to know each other..." Jinx hums before kneeling beside the chair again.

"I just know you'll be different than that liar... won't you, sister?"

💙

[ouidamforeman]

R.e. discussions abt the new Good Omens season being polarizing on whether it’s good or bad writing, I think just saying it’s bad writing is weird and dismissive of what actual problems someone would have with it, and is just dismissing what it’s trying to do because it wasn’t to your taste. I think it more or less succeeded in doing what it wanted to do, which is an entirely different metric of judgment than whether or not you LIKED the effect of what it was doing. Regardless of what issues I personally have with it, I still think overall it effectively did what it set out to.

The thing is, it reads less like a traditional season of television and more like half of a novel. It’s weird. It’s directionless and meandering not because it’s poor storytelling but because I genuinely think it’s doing those things on purpose for other reasons. This is a single chunk of a larger story and I believe the overall purpose of season 2 isn’t to like, actually have a big plot or complete character arcs? If I look at it solely from where it is and what it’s presenting to me and let go of my preconceptions and expectations it appears that this season is just trying to put a few plot set pieces in place for the continuing story, and to nestle those plot pieces in a nonlinear narrative solely focused not on character Development but on character exploration and revelation. I feel like that’s why the actual moving plot this season was a very basic mystery, because it isn’t really the point? The actual story events are just backdrop for revelatory character vignettes, and I think that if this piece of storytelling was part of a novel that included whatever season 3/the actual story conclusion is going to be then people wouldn’t have nearly as many criticisms about the writing as they do when it’s presented as a season of tv. That’s also why it reads so fanfiction-y imo. My honest opinion is that s2’s biggest flaw that isn’t something incredibly subjective is that it’s let down by the fact that it got trapped in needing to present itself as a television season with all the baggage that medium has and not something more unconventional that would be kinder to its weird beginning-of-a-novel-ish meandering. Is this something a season of tv SHOULD do? I don’t know. Is this a fucking weird piece of television story wise? Yeah. Is it now officially a different story from the original novel? Absolutely. Does it have flaws, maybe even flaws that amplify the issues already present in season 1? Yeah. Does it accomplish what it sets out to do though? More or less yeah, I genuinely think so. Now if any of that translates into “badness” for you that’s fine. I think it was an immense risk to do this kind of thing for a tv season and it’s not going to click for everyone. But that’s fine. This is a bizarre and novel-y piece of tv media that’s just sort of doing its own thing, and whether you think that’s bad or not is secondary to how interesting that is I think. I just wish the criticism was more engaging with it instead of judging it, because I think what’s happening here is both much more simple and much more complex than most people are implying with their critiques. It’s much more interesting to meet it where it is imho, even though I do strongly wish it didn’t have to be released in this technically incomplete form.

TLDR I think ppl pointing at this season and calling it bad writing are partially not actually engaging with it on its level and partly confusing objective badness with personal taste. Regardless of whether you LIKED what it tried to do or not it was at least trying to do something, something that it mostly succeeded at, and that’s all i can really comfortably judge a piece of art on

[black-lake]

astro observations 9

hey folks, I found new stuff to talk about. this is more of an outer planets and generations obs 🚀

——

✮⌁ when uranus conjunct pluto happened during 1964, we saw a lot of rebellious music, fashion and other forms of expression, the beatles, bowie's debut album, twiggy, bob dylan.. etc. It was an important decade for many changes and revolutions. It's why so many people are still influenced by the art, music and appeal of that era. Even though it was a relatively short period, the intense need for freedom was loudly expressed that decade. I think with pluto in aquarius we may see similar events, but on a larger scale and with a far more lasting impact. 

✮⌁ neptune will move into aries in 2025, and boy when I tell you I can't wait, I terribly mean it. I think neptune in pisces wasn’t doing it for me, I had creative expectations for it but it was all about spirituality and faith practices on the internet and an unhealthy addiction to it. this was right after neptune in aquarius which we all know made the internet an addiction in itself. 

✮⌁ It had its positive impact, being open-minded about different beliefs, exploring our intuition and faith and other abstract topics. but we've already seen the negative impact. It's mainly the spirituality addiction on the internet that has became almost inescapable, replacing reality, practices performed and consumed by really young individuals which could distort their view on the world at an older age. living in an illusion and assumption of everything and everyone, believing everything you hear blindly, because of your or someone else's false sense of intuition will make the world more closed-off and less likely to evolve. it can create a reversed effect, inducing fear of real life interactions, closed-mindedness and seclusion.

✮⌁ with neptune in aries, we will come out of our shells and live in the real world, we will explore the world with a new set of eyes and a fresh sense of passion and childlike wonder. We're less likely to listen to our fears and other people's assumptions and bs. It's a new astrological cycle. Our collective hopes, dreams, fantasies and passions are reborn. Now especially when uranus moves into gemini, the same year, people will be more encouraged to become social and intimate, more fun talks and activities, I hope 🥹 this will also help fuel the inventive ideas pluto in aquarius brings with it.

✮⌁ y'all there's more to astrology than just money, success and fame. you can explore the world with that tool, thousands of things to talk about. there're topics that aren't given as much attention here. if you have something interesting and new you posted or you wanna talk about and are shy plssss just share it in the comments I'm all for ittt I wanna see it. 

✮⌁ last time pluto was in aquarius 1778-1798, there was an industrial revolution going on, the peak of "the age of enlightenment", the french revolution, and many other political revolutions. the battery, hot-air balloon and parachute were some of the things invented. uranus was discovered in 1781. fun fact, the airplane was invented when pluto was retrograde in gemini in 1903, which makes sense since it rules over flying and air travel, also uranus was in sagittarius which rules travel as well, so interestingly enough there was a uranus-pluto opposition.

✮⌁ when uranus moves into gemini (ruling air travel) and with pluto being in aquarius, we literally may see spaceship inventions or spacecrafts and rockets that will launch to space. we may even be able to travel to a certain planet or at least find something new about it. we may find creatures or living things in space. air travel may look different, hydrogen-powered planes, cleaner and eco-friendly energy sources. at the very least we may hear of new scientists, and keep up with them.

✮⌁ any outer planet in libra, is a timeline I'd like to skip if I ever lived in, which I won't thankfully. It's by far the least sign that has potential to bring evolution and advancement to a generation, excluding aspects, it just ain’t doing much. Idk what it is, but maybe people are less likely to do anything considered immoral or unaccepted, they're more likely to do things like pleasing the generation's expectations and opinions. It brings a sense of connectivity, an understanding of comprise to connect and relate to our environment, and a focus on relationship matters, which of course is a building brick to bigger changes like all the transits are. but for me, not an exciting time, ig it's why I'm born in neptune and uranus in aquarius gen 💀

✮⌁ many of us have parents that have uranus or pluto in libra, and tbf, they likely were closed minded, people pleasing or even racist at times. but our pluto sag ass knew how to deal with it. how many of y'all gen z's gave your mommy a lecture on lgbt+ rights and the people with other cultures and backgrounds? 🖐🏼 also butting heads over someone wearing something on the streets, I'm like "THEY CAN DO whatever they want, let them live" 

✮⌁ speaking of pluto in sagittarius, I'm a little underwhelmed. dgmw we made so many changes and paved the way for future generations, but moreso, perspective wise. I didn't see many tangible changes from this gen compared to pluto in scorpio, which was wild in terms of sexual expression, experiments, conspiracies, institutional corruption, societal and medical change. pluto in sag was kinda mild, we allowed everyone's voice to be heard, explored other cultures and lifestyles, probably have friends from all around the world, we're willing to learn and are open to all sources of knowledge, we're truth tellers and we won't shut up. I guess our mission was too easy for us.

✮⌁ pluto in sag gen probably have challenging experiences relating to higher education, college years may have been dark and even traumatic for many esp if you also have it conjunct chiron 🏴‍☠️ even our sense of belief in ourselves and optimism is wounded, we put on a happy front because we see a better future for the world at large, but not for us, like we're some type of teachers or gurus raising a child.

✮⌁ if you have pluto conjunct chiron, you may feel dismissed or misplaced. things can hurt deeply with this. this also may indicate some family karma that needs to be resolved. your ancestors may have done shady stuff that cost them a lot. you are here to change that and find the light that future generations will thank you for. you got the resources to do so since conjunction is the most beneficial of all. you got a lot of healing and transformative powers. since it's in sag, it may be about clearing up nasty beliefs and perceptions of people and the world, even harmful actions and disrespect towards different individuals. you're the truth-seeker that refuses to take on outdated traditions and beliefs.

✮⌁ pluto in capricorn gen understand the value of monetary resources because they experienced a restriction of it at some point in their lives. there's this feeling of restriction coming from societal rules or memories of such repressive time, which they may feel the need to go against and prove themselves by working and gaining more power. they know how to survive in times of chaos and make the most out of what they have. they may have goals of creating some type of legacy for themselves and future generations. also maybe capricorn ruling the skeletal system is why caps give the 💀🩻🪦🏴‍☠️ impression, sry I keep making jokes about y'all, but ya dgaf 🫶🏼

[insidemyrottenbrain]

Years later - TSH

Henry Marchbanks Winter x GN!Reader

Word count: 1666

TW: religious imagery

Out of guilt and dread you end up leaving Vermont and building a new life. Just as you thought you escaped your past, you once again find yourself in its grasp.

The past haunts me. It has been years—so many I cannot begin to count, and if I’m being completely honest, I was not counting to begin with. Everything I have done was to escape that wretched part of my life in which my naivety and perhaps self-consuming passion, managed to control me. I wanted—want—to forget it all. 

The first time I stepped foot into what would soon come to be one of the few select places in my nightmares was very awe-inducing. The university was large, larger than I’d imagined. The stone walls had arched indents that made it look as if it belonged in one of the novels I read as a teenager and that my family wholeheartedly despised. The hallways were a contorted maze of watchful ancient statues following every movement with their eyes, priceless antiques donated by rich parents and students with more money in their pockets than I could ever dream of having. A multitude of departments found their home in that twisted place, such as theater, arts, modern literature, architecture, history, music, philosophy, and more. I believe you can imagine my excitement when faced with the exact kind of university I dreamed of studying at, especially when I had little to no hope of ever getting anywhere close to it, much less belonging.

One thing, as you know, led to another, and I ended up as one of the infamous Greek pupils. I’m quite sure everyone thought we were some kind of cult, which, if you think about it, isn’t entirely wrong.

The first few years were everything I had ever hoped for. I felt that I had found my place and, most certainly, my kind. We used to do everything together. Being with them was the only time I truly felt alive. It doesn’t matter whether we went to the comforting country house engulfed in trees safely from the outside world, had delicious dinners debating the most obscure topics, or simply studied in the library, sleep-deprived and on immense amounts of caffeine, I always felt as if I was doing something more than just existing.

Where did it all go wrong? I wouldn’t be able to tell you. I do not want to categorize Richard’s arrival as the initiator factor, for it was not his fault. Nor is it correct to say that the Bacchanal was the beginning of it all. It wouldn’t be Henry’s doing either, at least not the start of it. I have speculated on this over the years, and I have come to only one conclusion that seems right. My theory as to what the answer is and my attempt to pinpoint the exact place on the timeline are not as precise as I hoped they would be. It was not a single event that gave birth to our ruin, but rather multiple little moments, that are rather large in the big scheme. I also like to believe that Julian had as much of a role in all of this as the rest of us. Perhaps, even a considerably more sizeable one.

Everything that happened—I wish to leave behind. However, I recently came to realise, that, to my misery, it incorporated and formed my very being. My views, my ideas, my tastes, and my activities are all, to a certain extent, if not fully influenced and ruled over by it. I am my past.

My great, futile attempts to escape the life I once had, led me to London, a perfect setting for someone who wished to hide. A bustling place, where I had the chance to not be me, but a mere shadow lurking throughout the crowded streets, observing every passerby, while trying to guess their life stories, deepest desires, and strongest fears. I was no one, and I adored it. However, my presence became known among museum guides and librarians for its consistency. I have also earned a reputation among university students for being one of the few odd professors. This is probably due to the fact that I am very selective with my pupils, and I teach a couple that are quite brilliant in my office. I often have open discussions with them, for I consider it helps them engage with the topic better and understand the meaning and philosophy behind it in such a way that encourages them to analyze, observe, and critique. One such day, we were talking about the loss of self, Plato’s four divine madnesses:

‘Death is the mother of beauty,’ said Felix, one of my students.

I nodded in approval as I propped myself up on the desk.

‘And what is beauty?’ 

‘Terror,’ a voice answered from my office’s door.

My life up until this moment, along with all my darkest memories and the series of events that led me to where I am today, flash before my eyes, and it feels as if the universe has stopped specifically to play along with his sadistic trick. My jaw clenches involuntarily, my eyes threaten to betray my emotions, and I have to remind myself I’m not the same brainless kid chasing empty promises and impossible dreams, fully convinced that every existing land, no matter how vast it may be, is my playground and that fate will bend according to my petulant will. I have to get out of my head, the silence is stretching. My students, probably confused, are expecting some kind of sign from my disordered self. He is waiting for a reaction. The past has finally caught up to me. After all my futile attempts, it still managed to intrude on my present’s doorway. 

I take a deep breath. I look at my students, curiosity mixed with confusion clear in their expressions. I don’t need to look at him to know who he is.

‘I apologize,’ I start hoping that they cannot hear the tremble in my voice as accentuated as I seem to do, ‘class is dismissed.’

I need not say more before my students start gathering their belongings in complete silence so as to not further disturb the room completely filled with palpable animosity and perhaps something more vivid, cursed to lurk in the depths of our minds. I reach blindly toward my pack of cigarettes, lying somewhere on my desk between books and coffee-stained papers. Lucky Strikes, yet another sign of his hold on me. I light my cigarette, breathing in the curls of smoke spiraling down my throat. The sound of his leather shoes clicking against the wooden floorboards reverberates through my beating heart. I am well aware that even now, after years of attempting to escape from the rosary He entangled around my neck, I am still His most loyal devotee, respecting vigilantly every silent command. Deep and numbing smoke inside my lungs, like a relaxant, washes me with warm Indian summer waves of calmness.

He is fixating me with his cold blue eyes, watching for any sign of defiance. Over the years I’ve spent in his presence, I’ve learned to recognize his transitive facial expressions, his secretive ways, and his small habits, whether it is the way he holds a page between his fingers before turning it or his tendency to dive into long monologues about whatever interests him at that moment. It is a distinct ability that has grown its roots along my blood vessels, twisted and intertwined beyond differentiation. Understanding each other used to be our way of showing our affection. It is something so sacred that I cannot bring myself to weaponize against him and betray the bond we once had. You’d think that after so much time I’d be able to break free from the shackles His divinity holds me in and convert to a different faith. But He is nestled so deeply in me, that I cannot help but like the burns and the imprints upon my skin.

Henry Marchbanks Winter looks the same. But he now has a new pair of glasses and slight crow’s feet, along with faint smile lines framing his lips. He’s wearing one of his dark English suits, which have always fit him incredibly well. And if the wrinkles weren’t enough, the few grey hairs peeking from underneath the familiar dark colour of his hair are a brutal reminder of how much of him I missed. A cruel admonitum of the years that have passed and of all the times I wasn’t next to him, not by chance but by choice. It takes all I have in me to not fall to my knees, confess my sin, and beg for forgiveness. As if all the years I’ve been away from him turned into mere days I find myself falling back to my old habits and once again bowing down to his silent command.

Amor dominus terribilis est.

The cigarette burns, forgotten between my fingers, as I get wasted on his scent, for once, unbothered by the consequences.

‘I’ve finally found you, dilectus.’ Beloved.

‘I suppose you have.’ I cannot help but stare at him, hypnotized by the storm in his eyes.

‘I have been searching for you since the day you left.’ He reaches a gentle, steady hand to brush my cheek ‘London of all places-’

As much as I wish to let him hold me again I find myself interrupting him. ‘You have no business here.’ I walk to the open window and take my second drag from the almost fully burned cigarette.

He sighs, frustration slipping through the cracks of his perfection.

‘Like it or not,’ he emanates divine turmoil as he emphasizes every word  ‘you are my business.’

‘After so long we can’t be anything but strangers.’

‘You are wrong.’ He states immediately as I finish the sentence. ‘You cannot act as if you have forgotten everything we’ve been through.’ His hand once again finds its way to my face and caresses it with smooth, slow motions. This time I let him. ‘One more chance is all I ask for.’ He whispered.

‘One more chance.’ I agree, defeated.

[eunnieboo]

IYHM ask replies!!

also, a current snapshot of my mind:

💛 burrito-puppy asked:

Love to see the progress and art you made along the years! Can’t wait for the release 💕💕💕

thank you so much! 💞💞💞 i can't believe it's less than a week away... i can count the number of days left on one hand! AHHHH

💛 Anonymous asked:

Listen. The way that I too am freaking out! Gah. So excited. Can't wait.

THANK YOU!! every day i wake up and i lose my mind LMAO... the only time i'm calm is when i'm distracted, so i can forget it's actually happening haha!

💛 mickiee-art asked:

Where have you been my entire life?? I love your work so much! So excited for your graphic novel release! 💕🫶🏼

thank you so much omg!! i'm so glad! 🥺💖

💛 tabsters asked:

YOO DUDE ONE OF THE PROTAGONISTS OF YOUR SAPPHIC GRAPHIC NOVEL IS VIETNAMESE??? I'M VIETNAMESE AND BISEXUAL AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME HSAKSHKAHSKAHSKAHSAKJ

AHHHHH i'm so thrilled to hear that!!! i live for these messages HFDSKDJHSK HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY

💛 Anonymous asked:

I just found your art today and after scrolling through your stuff I went and pre-ordered your book. I'm so excited!!

oh you are too kind!! ;_; thank you so much <3

💛 nimona-antifa asked:

WAITTT THE BLACK HAIRED CHARACTER IN IF YOU'LL HAVE ME IS A BUTCH LESBIAN? I THOUGHT IT WAS A DUDE OMG THEY'RE BOTH SO PRETTYYYYY FBFBDGD I'M GAY 💗💗💗 I seriously love your art its always so wholesome

HAHA OMG I LOVE THIS 😂 thank you!!! BUTCH LESBIANS FOREVER AND ALWAYS 💕💕

💛 albedosleftb0otych33k asked:

I don't know how but I only just found out about your graphic novel and OML! I WILL BUY IT THE SECOND IT COMES OUT! Anyways, I love your art and just wanted to tell you ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

omg thank you so much!! you are the sweetest! ( *´ω`*)♡

💛 jeweljupiter asked:

I just wanted to say seeing your art of Momo and PG makes me feel seen and heard I love the poc representation I’m a plus size dark skin nerdy black girl and seeing more women who look like me finding love gives me hope and makes me happy

when i tell you this means everything to me... it means everything to me. thank you forever T_T ❤️

-

i've been so focused on IYHM for the past couple months... now that the pub date is so close, i'm full of giddy anticipation and terrible dread. so thank you everyone for the love and well wishes! it's really getting me through it.

also, i wasn't sure how to announce this so i wanted to mention it while i'm here: Waterstones now has a special sprayed edge edition of IYHM! i got my copy a little while back and it's really gorgeous. if you like paperbacks i think the color is a lovely touch!

and as another reminder, i'll be having an in-person launch event next tuesday with Brick & Mortar Books in Redmond, WA! truthfully i'm torn between my desire to interact with people and my embarrassment at being seen in public, so please feel free to spare yourselves lmao 😭 i wasn't sure i'd do an event at all but i decided to try at least once before deciding if it's for me. so we'll see how it goes!

whew. the 17th is coming up so fast but i still have so many little tasks to do. the last time i talked about my busy schedule on here, someone sent me a message that said "you deserve a spa day," and i think about it all the time. maybe someday, anon. maybe someday...

[beesmygod]

when the cursed princess club does it it's good because it suits the story perfectly, at any point any of the people working on it could google what a possum looks like and improve their portrayal of them, but the way they are drawn right now is already perfect, why "fix" that? I love when the characters do actions and you see the little sound effect of the character doing it, it works so well in there. Also you can see the art has been evolving through time For me I think when that kind of things don't work at all in that type of webcomics is in the a) licensed ones, b) the ones that you know could try to do better and do nothing

one of my favorite panels in CPC is an establishing shot of a hospital that the club is doing volunteer work at (god, long story). you know its a hospital because there's a big red cross outside on the building BREAKING THE GENEVA CONVENTION!!!! god i think i need to actually go find it. the first time i read it i just flew past it because i was invested in the story.

someone actually pointed this panel out and thats when i really looked at it

no windows. no doors. set on a patch of vertical gradient. first of all, this is hysterical. i love this. second, this is the perfect amount of effort required to convey information to a willing audience. i didnt even fucking notice this was taking place in jigsaw's torture hospital while reading it. the art has, at all points, been the bare minimum required to tell a good story. this scene did not require lavish realism or detail because it's a cartoon universe where silly things happen in service of a good joke. i have never been confused about where an event is taking place because the information i need is successfully conveyed to me through the most recognizable icons and things. red cross and building. got it.

i think the sincerity of the work also shines through. this is hard to describe, but there is a large contingent of comics in genres that they believe will make them money either because webtoons the company trends toward financially rewarding it or the perception that those audiences are more willing to spend money to create never-ending streams of emotionally empty sludge. their lack of investment in anything other than clout/$ results in a vapid, hollow shell of a comic with an attractive exterior. but a quick glance through the work exposes the author's lack of investment in their own creation.

the willingness of cpc to draw things fucked up and weird sometimes is charming. its actually taking some risks in going against the aesthetic grain of the sea of webtoons comprised of mostly the same few pre-generated assets. its not like cpc DOESNT use assets, but the light touch and geocities ass fire in the fire place just endears me to it more.

its just Right.

[unknownhomosapien]

Wanna add some more context to reverse!au for better understanding

(Added more sickness to his face cus I still like trickstarbrave's art teehee)

Basically all canon events till "foul murder" is...canon. It wasn't his will to become a god, but Nerevar's mind got corrupted in some ways because of heart of lorkhan, so he ready to use god powers to reach his goals. His ways to deal with tribunal are much more sinister, so he as well as madman.

Somehow even Almsivi thinks that it was Dagoth Ur who has got awakened (very tough awakening though). Nerevar using this legend as profit. Everyone seems to believe that Nerevarine prophecy is true, even ashlanders. Wonder how he deceived them.

If Dagoth Ur using the magic to fight, Mora Ind using his strength. Don't be fooled by his exhausting look, this man is able to cut a massive rock with trueflame in the first try as well as crush your head with one hand.

He is using the magic, still. Prostetics looks advanced, but has bad mobility, plus constant pain, so, he learnt how to levitate and use it effectively in the attacks. Also, Nerevar somehow developed resistance to magic, and its not easy to beat him only with the spells.

His god voice echoes, but can change depending on mood. Main difference that in moments of anger it echoing in higher tone, almost cutting the ears.

Mora Ind has his own followers, despite having sixth house as source to threaten people. He is not fully controlling them though. Despite being blind and using raw magic, Nerevar is able to "see" through eyes on his hands, and through his followers. This is part of the deal: they're serve him with no hesitation, him is protecting them from corprus (except sixth house sleepers), saving their will, but has right to take control whenever he wants. And he has much more influence on dissident priests. But only few loyal knows who is truly sitting in the red mountain.

Godryn is quite weak, despite being tall, so he is highly counting on his charisma, magic abilities and alchemy skills. He is suffering from rosacea, migraines and epilepsy, thought last one comes from migraines and happens in the moments of high stress, and has uncontrollable and incurable magic origin. Blessing and a curse in the same time.

This man loves to be good looking and morning routines are his best friends. Only when being alone, he allows himself to look sloppy.

He is not a Nerevarine. How do you think he'll become one if Nerevar is alive? But Godryn surely gonna doubt tribunal much and make his own investigation because of curiosity. Will meet Almsivi eventually.

Anarenen gonna have main part in his story and will become some kind of love interest before meeting Nerevar? Anyways, they both slay queens in boring Ald'ruhn with dumbass Redoran around.

He gonna be suspicious and paranoid in the first chapters. Godryn is not a reckless one, and tryin to make decisions with thinking twice.

Godryn is 24 years old and born in 3E 403. He is an adult, but very unexpirience in live, so, there are gonna be some dumb choices. Recognising himself as Voryn will help in some ways, but dunmer is not gonna BE Voryn. He doesnt wanna be "someone" except himself. He tired of that.

[that-ari-blogger]

Iconic (Defying Gravity)

If you look up "iconic Broadway songs", you get lists upon lists of musical numbers, but there are a few constants. Beside One Day More from Les Misérables, Don't Cry For Me Argentina from Evita, and Seasons Of Love from Rent, you will usually find Defying Gravity, from Wicked.

If you think about it, this is actually rather weird, right? The aforementioned songs are about preparing for death, dying, and looking back on life, respectively. Defying Gravity is about a witch deciding to fly. A story that is objectively fantastical (it depicts magic and flying monkeys in a place that definitely does not exist) stands next to stories of real-world history and events, and nobody bats an eyelid because... well... because it's just that good.

This is like a corgi winning a race fair and square against a ton of cheetahs.

I think it's worth examining just what Defying Gravity does to stand beside giants, and what story it is telling.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD: (Wicked)

Defying Gravity is a battle cry.

When you examine a piece of media, the first thing you need to understand is what it is that that piece of media is trying to achieve. For example, if you examine a commercial for toothpaste through the same lens as a commercial film, that commercial will fall short. Similarly, if you examine a song that is trying to get stuck in your head through a classical, technical lens, things get funky.

You can, of course, apply those different lenses if you want. That's the fun thing about art, there are few rules. But even then, you need to understand the purpose of the text.

Defying Gravity is a battle cry.

It is a song that calls to arms its listeners. It says to Oz that things will get better, if Elphaba has to tear down the world to make it so. And it tells the audience to get excited, because someone has just started shaking things up.

The song is a turning point in the musical. It is the end of act one, and it sets the trajectory of the second half of the story. It defines how the characters will behave going forwards. But also...

Defying Gravity is a breakup song.

I don't think the two are disconnected at all. Wicked is about reality and dreams colliding, and it follows the seeking of freedom. The twist is that for freedom, you have to give up your safety, and Glinda isn't prepared to do that, but Elphaba is.

This is a piece by @abd-illustrates (Youtube, Deviantart). Although I believe it's technically about No Good Deed, I feel it's relevant here and a spectacular feat of artistic merit that I had to put it in.

Wicked has been accused of queer bating by fans, and while I see that angle, I don't quite agree. I think that the romantic relationship between Glinda and Elphaba does happen, but the fact that it doesn't work is key to the story. They are doomed lovers, and this song is that breaking point.

What is more valuable to our protagonists? Autonomy or stability? Both characters pick different options, and that incompatibility tears them apart.

"Elphaba, why couldn't you have stayed calm for once? Instead of flying off the handle!

I hope you're happy

I hope you're happy now

I hope you're happy how

you've hurt your cause forever

I hope you think you're clever"

Glinda's perspective here is clear, she believes in the system she is a part of. She sees its flaws, but because they work for her, she sees them as strengths. And this is understandable, the system has only benefited her, so she is blind to its faults.

But understandable is not the same as agreeable, and I am inclined to follow Elphaba's logic here. The system is unjust, and directly in opposition to her goal of fairness and equality. She wants to make the world a better place, and now that the system's lies are revealed to her, she needs to take things in a different direction.

"I hope you're proud how you would grovel in submission

To feed your own ambition"

So, the sides are established, and this song serves as a battle of ideas. Both characters want their friend to join them, and its notable how they go about doing that.

Glinda falls on aspiration and references a previous song to get her point across.

"You can still be with the wizard

What you've worked and waited for

You can have all you ever wanted"

I feel the need to point out that Glinda wasn't present when Elphaba sang The Wizard and I, and yet she matches the tune and meaning almost perfectly. Elphaba hasn't merely told Glinda her dream, she has shared her dream with her, and confided in her that incredibly vulnerable side of herself.

Elphaba acted so differently in The Wizard and I than in the rest of the story, she was less guarded, and more childish with that naive hope that she holds onto throughout the entirety of the show. That hope just becomes less naive and more relentless.

Elphaba has shared that naivety and hope and whimsicality with Glinda, and it's that relationship that Glinda is calling on now. Remember us, remember our dream.

However, for all Glinda's canniness and understanding of the world, she doesn't understand people, and she doesn't understand Elphaba.

Elphaba wanted to meet the wizard for a reason. She had a motive behind her dream that superseded the specifics of how it would play out.

"But I don't want it

No, I can't want it anymore"

Notice the vernacular that Elphaba uses. She can't want to be with the wizard. In her mind, doing the right thing isn't a choice. To Elphaba, good is a force that has pushed her to where she is right now, and forced her to sing this song.

Essentially, Elphaba is a paragon hero and is actively unmaking the grey morality of the setting. Often in media, "realism" is shorthand for everyone being either selfish or misunderstood. It's a pessimistic worldview of life that I don't entirely agree with.

That does happen in real life, don't get me wrong. The vast majority of the world is made up of people who are capable of actions that are good, bad, or neither.

But there are people out there who are truly cruel and evil, trust me, I've met some of them. But I've also met their opposite, people who are kind and compassionate and do what they think is right because to them, there isn't another option.

Elphaba is that second type of person, and the musical has got its audience to take this for granted at this point. But it's worth remembering that this character is the Wicked Witch of the West, the cartoon bad guy of an iconic work of literature. The musical hasn't made her more morally nuanced; it has made the world more nuanced, and that has reframed this character entirely.

The song even reminds the audience of this fact through the ensemble, just to make the juxtaposition more obvious.

"Look at her! She's wicked, get her.

No one mourns the wicked! So we've got to bring her

Down"

This is actually foreshadowing for a later song.

Back to this part, the backing of the song has spent the majority of its run time playing elaborate movements, but for Galinda and Elphaba's talk about dreams, it simplifies. Galinda gets a bare trickle of that floaty harmony, but Elphaba gets next to nothing for her line. Mostly.

This, combined with the slowing down effect brought on by the fermata (the symbol that looks like an eye), gives the conversation an intimate tone. The two have just each other to hear, and nothing to get in the way. It also frames Elphaba's line as reassurance. There is a storm coming and she is telling her girlfriend that things are going to work out ok in the end.

However, the big chords come back in on the "anymore" and lead into the key change that covers the rest of the song. This is a metaphor for the change that is happening in Elphaba's mind. As she makes her decision on how to proceed, and recognises that things are now different, the slow build up to this song's finale is finally got underway.

The rest of this song is just a build up to a final crash of sound. It rises in a few beats with the choruses, as Elphaba tests her wings, so to speak. And the song gains momentum slowly as more instruments are added.

If you thought I wasn't going to at least reference Glee's multiple performances of this song and how in that series, Defying Gravity is explicitly synonymous with queerness and pride, welcome to the blog. I make analysis posts, maybe stick around if you like this kind of thing.

"Too late for second guessing,

too late to go back to sleep"

There are two separate ideas being intertwined here. First up is the reiteration of Elphaba's inability to stop. Once again, she is doing the right thing because someone has to do it, and soon it will be too late. But the duality of this phase links that idea with the revelation about Oz. She can't go back to sleep, she can't go back to ignorance. Now that she knows what she knows, she has to act.

"Too long I've been afraid of

Losing love I guess I've lost.

Well, if that's love, it comes at much too high a cost."

This isn't particularly complex storytelling, but it's effective none the less. Elphaba is saying her realisations out loud to keep the audience up to speed. In this instance, she has been chasing acceptance, and now understands that she was never going to get it from Oz, and that what she would have to do to obtain a facade of understanding is not worth it.

The fact that my analysis of that phrase is just saying it again but slightly differently is a pretty good example of how effective the storytelling in the line is.

"I'd sooner buy defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity

And you can't pull me down"

The first chorus of this song is remarkably understated. It doesn't have the confidence of latter verses, and I will discuss why I think that is in a moment. The orchestra pulls back to a few instruments, and the drum plays a light rhythm on one of its... ok I my musical knowledge is a bit limited here. The bit of the drum that goes "tss tss tss", you know the one.

This gives it a light feeling that adds to the unsteady feeling of the chorus as Elphaba tests the waters and learns to fly. But she needs guidance, and support, and who does she turn to for that?

"Glinda, come with me."

This is the first time Elphaba has been thinking on the spot. Usually, she thinks everything through before she says it, but now she is running entirely on a single train of thought. I cannot stress enough how this thought process is literally: "love, kiss goodbye, Glinda". Historians will say they were close friends.

A leitmotif is a recurring musical phrase that represents a certain theme. For example, earlier in the musical, Galinda's "you deserve each other" musical phrase was repeated to show false relationships and false promises, and was also used in The Wizard and I to foreshadow the false promise of the Wizard and his gifts.

The Unlimited Leitmotif is used exclusively to symbolise Elphaba and Glinda's relationship. You can read that as platonic if you want, but there are some context clues that I would argue suggest otherwise. For example, it's called the "Unlimited" leitmotif for a reason.

As I have kept harping on about, the most valuable thing a person can achieve in this musical is freedom. This is a song about defying the laws of physics themselves. And the thing that Elphaba is offering Glinda here, the thing that is so defining for their relationship that it is literally the shorthand for it, is complete and total freedom.

Together, the two are unlimited.

The second chorus is sung together. Glinda gives Elphaba the strength of spirit to continue and is quite literally the reason she can fly in the first place.

But Glinda doesn't want that. She wants to feel in control of herself more than autonomy, and that's why the relationship falls apart. The two are doomed lovers, and it's not because one of them lies or cheats or any of that soap opera nonsense, but because they want different things out of life.

"Well, are you coming?"

"I hope you're happy

Now that you're choosing this"

"You, too

I hope it brings you bliss"

All in all, I think this breakup goes remarkably well. The two realise that their lives are taking each of them in a direction that the other cannot follow, and so they offer their goodbyes peacefully and get ready for the finale of this act.

Glinda even gives Elphaba a cloak to protect her from the elements as a final goodbye gift. Which, if you are keeping track, means that both the hat and the cloak, the Wicked Witch's most iconic visual elements besides her skin, were gifts from a very close friend.

I don't need to explain why the final chorus of this song is so good, do I? The music is phenomenal, the vocal performance is unrivaled, and it outright says half of the points I have been trying to make in this post.

I do think that the sheer skill on display here is important for the theming as well. Yes, the high note symbolises the flight and escape, yes it's synonymous with rising above petty grievances, and yes the rising is literally a reverse Deus Ex Machina. But it's also just the actress who plays Elphaba showing off and having a blast. There are no limits on her vocal performance, she doesn't have to rein in anything, and she can instead belt out a number as loud and powerfully as she wants because nobody is stopping her.

"As someone told me lately,

Everyone deserves a chance to fly"

This is a reference to something that the Wizard said to Elphaba, but when he said it, he was completely talking out of his arse. The Wizard, and a significant portion of Oz as a whole, parade around saying nebulously benevolent things, but they don't actually mean it. The Wizard has created a nation based around surveillance and oppression, there is no way that he believes in everyone getting a fair go.

The important thing to understand is that the Wizard's worldview is wrong. Everyone does deserve fairness. So his lie to appease Elphaba was in fact true. Elphaba's role in this is making that lie into a reality, by giving the people someone who will say things honestly and try to actually make the world a better place.

Finally, however, as the lights prepare to shut off and Elphaba rises into the distance. Glinda stands beneath her, looking up. She is now just another face in the crowd, but her sentiment stands in stark contrast to the rest of Oz.

Simultaneously, Glinda says goodbye, and wishes Elphaba good luck on the road ahead.

"I hope you're happy."

Final Thoughts

It needs to be understood that part of why Defying Gravity stands beside historical giants like Don't Cry For Me Argentina is the fact that it is fantastical.

Wicked is a musical about the relentlessness of hope. It is set in a world where anything is possible, and it brings that to life. Through the application of some truly impressive stagecraft, the actress who plays Elphaba genuinely flies for all to see.

This is a story that takes the impossible and makes it possible, and this is the song which cemented that theme in the minds of anyone who watched it. This song fully deserves its place as my second favourite in this musical.

That's right, my favourite is yet to come, and I'm enjoying watching y'all guess at what it is in the replies.

Next week, I will be looking at Thank Goodness and how it sets up the plot of the second act. So, stick around if that interests you.

Previous - Next

[maleyanderecafe]

Close to Obsession (Visual Novel)

Created by: Unknown Hermit

Genre: Horror

I'll be doing some recommendations for the #72 Hour Murderboy Mayhem since they do have quite a lot of yanderes (and some from creators you may know!) This one is made by @you-and-him who of course is working on the You and Him game and I do like the yandere's design in this one, (plus, pink haired male yandere, which is fairly rare). This one is fairly short as a demo, but hopefully it will be expanded on in the future.

The story starts out with the MC talking to a police officer about a sudden murder that happened in front of them. Clearly still affected by the situation, they start to recount it. While having a Hinder date with someone, they watched as a man came in and killed them. The MC is freaking out while the man seems satisfied with his work, he reveals that the two had actually dated once before from Hinder, though the MC doesn't remember it. The man gives the MC a piece of paper before leaving, leading to them calling the police. The officer offers to drive the MC home after this traumatizing event, remembering the note that they got, stating that they should meet up next Saturday, signed Max.

We then get a more in depth look at how Max thinks. We see that Max was inspired by the MC, and believed that killing the man is viewed as art in his eyes. He believed he needed something bold so that the MC would remember them, holding out a ring that he will presumable give to the MC in the future.

I will say that Hermit always does a good job in putting the MC in the most impactful situations at the start, which really lets you get into the meat of the action. In this game, we start out with the aftermath of the MC experiencing murder something that really traumatizes them. It is always cool to see a more realistic reaction to murder, and I think it would be neat if this carries throughout the entire game, where the MC kind of has PTSD from this moment, as it's something that they are clearly very shaken over. I'm curious if the MC will decide to go to meet Max, or if perhaps there's a branching timeline for something like that.

I always find it fun when creators have multiple yandere vns because they get to explore different types of yanderes with each one and we can see how they differ. Compared to Adam, Max is a lot more lucid about his obsession with the MC, even very blatantly going out of his way to kill their date in front of them just so that they will remember him. It's also cool to see more of the muse kinds of yanderes since the way that they view love and their definition of love is often different than how other types of yanderes view love. From more reluctant yandere to a more abrasive one, that's always fun! I have no idea how he was able to get away with simply murdering someone and running, like was there no other evidence besides leaving a witness? I guess only time will tell. I do think Max's design is pretty fun though with his side bun pony tail to his collar, he feels more like someone who would probably like animals. I'm wondering if that will be part of his characters, or if the collar is actually referring to more...kinkier parts of his personality.

Overall, a cool first shot of what the game is going to be like. From the time writing this, it doesn't really seem like Hermit has a full idea of what the game will be like, but I'm excited to see what direction they end up heading in as they continue to work on the game.