#and i want something with more meaning | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mantabanter · 2 years

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I know most people don’t REALLY care about the lack of content from me (I post when I post and yall seem just fine with that) but I thought I would mention why I haven’t made anything in... eons.

I had a realization with my own art, that I found it messy and quick and... stagnant. And not only all that, but it felt so completely narrow minded as well. It felt like, well, there were only so many things I could draw and so many ways to draw them, and I had to get them out quick OR ELSE-

It was for social media. I was only thinking about social media and whether my art was postable. I was no longer making beautiful things that I loved. I was making things that I thought maybe the internet would like, things that I probably Should make rather than things I actually wanted to.

So I took some time and had a long think and thought: well, what DO I actually want to make? And it’s still something I’m a bit stuck on. I don’t think I have the skills or the ability to make the things I do want to make. Which is disappointing, but also kind of exhilirating. I get to learn and try something new. But also. I probably have to be kind of shit at it first too. Which is NOT GREAT for my ego ;w; but. Thats how it goes. There are a thousand things I want to make, art, AUs, fandom stuff, non-fandom stuff, but I’m kind of realizing I don’t have the time and the skills for everything. Which is sad because. As someone who is terrible at prioritizing, I don’t know what to focus on or spend my time doing! And theres still that little voice in my head that wants to make something that people will like, that people will see, that will get me my fake internet points and make me feel like I have meaning in my life.

And well. I just don’t know. I think I have to go in the opposite direction of all my instincts. I want to make something that will NOT be popular, something NOT related to fandom, something that can be BAD and it’s FINE but something I’ll CARE about. I want to find satisfaction within my art, something that will last with me, not something that will disappear from my mind once it is done gaining traction online. You know?

And I’m not entirely sure what ticks those boxes yet. But I want to get back into trying.

#I know the things I do want to do #I want to tell stories #I want to make people feel things #and i want to have something with real thought behind it #a lot of my art is kinda mindless actually #and i want something with more meaning #Yeah #I suppose I'm just searching for meaning again #I want to be mindful with my life again #And that includes art #Its so important to take a break from autopilot mode and just really ask the big questions of what youre doing and where youre going and #whats important to you #I dont want to make art I can't share #I have that art tucked away in my notebook #but i also believe that art is an event that happens when someone looks at something and finds meaning #i dont want to exist in my own little bubble #i want to explore and i DO want to show people #I just dont want those expectations of those people to RULE me #anyway #random thoughts #i know it seems that im kind of not making sense #like #idk its tough #basically #its not one side or the other its a balance and i dont know how to find that yet #and i just dont know what makes me happy anymore #so im searching for my own inspiration and trying to get in touch with my own creativity #which is HARDER THAN YOUD THINK

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mynnthia · 4 months

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was talking with a friend about how some of dunmeshi fаndom misunderstands kabru's initial feelings towards laios.

to sum up kabru's situation via a self-contained modernized metaphor:

kabru is like a guy who lost his entire family in a highly traumatic car accident. years later he joins a discord server and takes note of laios, another server member who seems interesting, so they start chatting. then laios reveals his special interest and favorite movie of all time is David Cronenberg's Crash (1996), and invites kabru to go watch a demolition derby with him

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #kabru #kabru already added laios as a discord friend. everyone else in the server can see laios excitedly asking kabru to go with him #what would You even Do in this situation. how would YOU feel?#basically: kabru isnt a laios-hater! hes just in shock bc Thats His Trauma. the key part is kabru still says yes #bc he wants to get to know laios. to understand why laios would be so fascinated by something horrific to him #and ALSO bc even while in shock kabru can still tell laios has unique expertise + knowledge that Could be used for Good #even if kabru doesnt fully trust laios yet (bc kabru just started talking to the guy 2 hours ago. they barely know each other)#kabru also understands that getting to know ppl (esp laios) means having to get to know their passions. even if it triggers his trauma here #but thats too much to fit in this metaphor/analogy. this is NOT an AU! its not supposed to cover everything abt kabru or laios' character!#its a self-contained metaphor written Specifically to be more easily relatable+thus easy to understand for general ppl online #(ie. assumed discord users. hence why i said (a non-specific) 'discord server' and not something specific like 'car repair subreddit')#its for ppl who mightve not fully grasped kabru's character+intentions and think hes being mean/'chaotic'/murderous.#to place ppl in kabru's shoes in an emotionally similar situation thats more possible/grounded in irl experiences and contexts.#and also for the movie punchline #mynn.txt #dm text #crossposting my tweets onto here since my friends suggested so

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mythicalcoolkid · 2 months

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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side

#m/cc #mine #I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges #and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like #a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with #there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example #or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone #*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have #I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side #for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others #for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me #and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public #and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist #that's why there's so much awareness happening for it #but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people

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favoure · 10 months

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"do the opposite of what people tell you to do"

#desert duo #grian #goodtimeswithscar #secret life #mcyt #trafficblr #favourarts #ok to tag as ship #so i posted this to twitter first right #and the amount of people i have in my replies saying that they'll kill themselves is honestly Very funny #anyways im back :))#i missed drawing these two GOD #okay life update in the tags for this piece is: something about finals season just makes you want to draw more #<- has been saying this for 4 days straight now #YAAAAAAYYYY i got another desert duo sketch cooking fellas and this one is a Bit more self indulgent if yk what i mean hehe #<- SEE U IN THE SIDEBLOG

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lucabyte · 2 months

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On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.

Bonus:

#a homestuck walks into an antechamber and asks #hey is anybody going to make this dynamic wholly deterministic and thus dubiously consensual by its very nature #ANYWAY bigger ramble below. scroll down like usual #isat spoilers #isat #isat fanart #isat siffrin #isat loop #sifloop #THATS RIGHT WE'RE STILL SHIP TAGGING IT BABYYYY #in stars and time #in stars and time fanart #lucabyteart #RAMBLE START: anyway i think loop is wrong here. they have it backwards. as-- in my opinion--#the main reason they could be called back into existence postcanon is because *their* wish for help is still not complete #they still need help. siffrin still needs help. neither of them will ever stop needing help.#they will thus uphold the wish until the end of siffrin's natural lifespan.#that said. what does it mean that loop can be so wholly forced to abide by siffrin's wants?#(assuming the dagger cutscene posession is them being forced to uphold the 'help siffrin' wish via harsh universe logic)#[as opposed to something capricious and cruel the change god did. which feels out of character for the change god to me?]#much like how the island wish and duplicate objects are neutered by simply sliding off people's brains...#is loop subtly ushered toward their wish? obviously it's not a full override (see: the bossfight). but is there any interference?#and if so. so what? does it matter? if they don't notice? is it even real if they don't notice?#and even if they do notice. the universe leads we follow. how much do either of them value their free will in a belief system like that?#the whole game is dedicated to siffrin habitually NOT excersizing his free will. doing things the same Every Time.#Loop ESPECIALLY does this. predetermined predetermined predetermined even in the FACE OF CHANGE. REFUSING. ANY CHOICE.#Maybe they'd even be comforted by having a universe-ordained purpose even if it is subservient. even if its to Him.#(though. i can't see siffrin enjoying the idea that someone is subservient TO them... then all their suffering is his fault...)#loop got into this mess via WANTING too much. no more free will. can't be trusted with it. take it away from them.#but yeah. gets my greasy detective pony hands all over this. and everyone please do remember i like to make characters Outright Wrong A Lot

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 10 months

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The musical episode.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #jin guangyao #nie mingjue #Remember jin guangyao: If you do any treachery you will face the wrath of five horses.#When are the horses going to come into play? You'll see.#s2.ep8 had beautiful music... I listened to it on loop while drawing!#Good music to chill out to before you fly into a rage.#This episode really cements how JGY's mind works - It is a matter of long-term outcomes at the sake of nearly everything else.#Morals do not matter to him if the outcome is more favourable.#and at the center of it all - he has learned that the only person he can truly trust is himself.#In turn - the only person his actions benefit are himself.#He will do anything and everything it takes to reach a position of power - not just for the power. But because it means safety.#Because it was something he was denied and the idea of not having control in his life again is unforgivable.#'Happiness' isn't a goal. We are looking at someone still stuck at the bottom of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.#Everything and everyone is a piece in a game. Bonds and friendships are assets. People are dispensable.#He wants to climb for the sake of climbing. He wants praise and recognition because he feels it is deserved. It's all so hollow.#We could go deeper into his psyche on this.#But these are also tags under a comic in which 'evil penis music' is the punchline.

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tzarrz · 4 months

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i listen to fog lake too much

#falls through the ceiling with a mighty crash hello #it's been what...8 months?#I was too busy w uni and being mentally ill #thank u everyone so much for the tags on all prev posts.. i re-read them oaccasionally 💗#they make me v happy thank u for giving me a moment of ur time #that means so much #anyway! vashwood!!#i hate them so much #i want to eat them #i want to ugly cry #i want an ideal world where they could've had something for a little bit #im eating drywall and pacing around the room in a cold sweat #so trimax-atypical overt intimacy it is #more coming...in maybe another year #It's a big project!#to me. yeah #my dream is to be put in a terrarium for a while #if only u knew how many wips I have w vashwood..#maybe i'll get tired and pile them into one post all unfinished and no less ok for it yk #whatever u r doing doesn't need to be perfect to make someone happy #didn't u experience a positive little zap from my imperfect colored doodle rn?#what a speedrun of a drawing that was #(<spent 10h on it. that's the minimum for anything ever)#hope today is treating you well! so long stranger!#vashwood #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trimax #trigun #tzarrz

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floweroflaurelin · 11 months

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BigB is making me lose my mind.

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My buddy @salemoleander made a post going over all the weird stuff with BigB’s unusual Secret and it got my mind racing. The red icon... The isolating, grindy, antisocial task... The strange phrasing… Makes you think 👀

(Even if it turns out to be nothing I WILL be headcanoning lore about it hehehe)

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redysetdare · 5 months

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enough stories about how someone learns to truely be happy through love. i want a story where someone is desperately seeking out love thinking it's the only way to be happy only for them to learn by the end that happiness is what they make of it and they don't need love at all to make it.

#aro #aromantic #ace #asexual #aroace #loveless aro #loveless #non-partnering #nonpartnering #non partnering #nonamorous #aplatonic #enough of amatonormative tropes in media!!! enough 'you're miserable without love' stories!!!#less “you're too focused on ambitions to make you happy that you dont let yourself fall in love”#more “you're too focused on finding love to make you happy that you wont let yourself live”#more “there is so much more to life than love and so much more that can bring your happiness if you just let yourself experience it.”#maybe I should write this story #and when i say love i mean all love. not just romantic love.#which is why i tagged aplatonic too #while i mostly see this trope in terms of romantic love i think there's something to be said about #telling stories where people are perfectly content alone too #it doesn't have to be sad or pathetic to not have friends by choice. they dont have to be a miserable person to not have friends #i think we need more variety in stories where it shows people just content in their lack of love or relationships in all shapes #not everyone wants a family not everyone wants friends not everyone wants a partner not everyone wants love #some of us are content without. that should be explored without the need to fix it.

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ciderjacks · 3 months

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despite Laios low self esteem making him think that if he’d been eaten, Chilchuck and Marcille wouldn’t have helped Falin,

theres a small part of me that thinks the reason Chilchuck stayed with the party and went back in the dungeon in the first place was because he didn’t want to leave Laios alone. That Laios was moreso the reason he stayed.

#dungeon meshi #chilaios #OK SORRY. THE DEMONS. I REALLY DID NOT WANT TO LIKE THIS PAIRING. I DIDNT. BUT. HHH. FHFHJFJV. I FEEL CRAZY. LET ME EXPLAIN.#Pre canon it seems Laios is the person Chilchuck is really the closest to #He gets along with Namari and they are probably way better as buddies than he and Laios but #He and Laios seem *closer*#If that makes sense #Laios calls him his first name enough and without any issue or hesitation from Chilchuck #That I sort of inagine its not like. A misunderstanding. Laios is on a first name basis with him for a reason.#He also worries probably more than anyone about Laios #And his biggest criticism of him is that hes “reckless”#he’s comfortable around Laios in a very specific way and so is Laios around him #and in the series he shows many times that he’ll risk his life to protect Laios #Like staying with him to confront the elves because he was worried Laios would say something stupid #Hes the first one to run up to him when Falin punches him #I mean I think he was also going back for Falin like its not like I think he doesn’t care about her or anything #He clearly does #But I don’t know if he’d have gone back if Laios hadn’t #And if Laios had been eaten I think he wouldn’t have even had to be convinced by Falin #I also think Marcille would’ve gone back for him but probably more bc Falin was going back #Like sort of a reversed thing #AGAIN not that I don’t think she cared about Laios at the beginning either #But she before the story she was mostly Falin’s friend who knew Laios through Falin #She only really got to know him when Falin got eaten and they had to do a team building exercise #Though now I sort of want to see an actually reversed scenario #Bc we also know that Chilchuck is sort of uncomfortable around Falin (said in relationship chart)#So I would love to see them be forced into a team building exercise to find a person they both love the way Laios and Marcille were

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gatoiberico · 1 year

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the depths

print

#totk #botw #loz #link #zelda #elgatoiberico #finally done this shenanigan of a scene #I wanted to try doing something a bit more ambitious #also punchy #or rather action...y #I've also been feeling kinda lost with my art and what I wanna do with it so this was basically a “try it out and see” piece #what I ended up seeing is that link is so small #I mean sure he's small but he's small x 2 here #sorry link all the glory goes to the bokoblin getting slapped #on a completely #ok nearly completely #different side note did anyone else take a while to figure out how to fight armoured bokoblins??#bc I needed a moment to understand and it really did take me a Moment and then some

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hinamie · 2 months

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色彩 [Shikisai]

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #itafushi #fushiita #yuji itadori #megumi fushiguro #fanart #jjk fanart #megumi #yuuji #finally...some not angst.....#im worried out of my mind fr these two right abt now but we cope we cope :)#i woke up early n rushed to render this bc im leaving 2 catsit today n wont b able to spend every waking hour drawing like i have been #almost uploaded it without rendering megumi's ear and frgetting the sukuna scars so im sure ill find something i missed once i hit post smh #this pose fought me also >:( sighs why when i try to do not angst they do not want to cooperate . do they prefer being hurt #anyway !!!#i dont think any1 Listens when ppl put song links in the caption but if anyone is curious ! colours/shikisai galileo galilei #SO themcore im unwell i say that a lot but i mean it every time #speaking of colours i Love how these turned out but they ended up being a lot more cohesive than i intended GKHSDFK #wanted to have yuuji in warm and megumi in cold but that appears to have blended everywhere but their uniforms Oops #sighs these 2 and their sun/moon imagery r my cause of death. i die thinking abt it #resisted the urge 2 have a lmhs caption but let it b known. i amn Thinking it.#anyway i say ill b away from my drawing tablet but i fully plan 2 uber home one of the days so i can draw #i cant b slacking now the itfs reunion is nigh and i feel nauseous abt it i need to channel the nervous energy #have sketches.......just in case....but we dont Talk abt just in case >:(#itfs nation hold strong <3

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bishicat · 23 days

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You believe me like a god I'll destroy you like I am

:-).

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a-dope-fiend · 1 month

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It irritates me alot when people say that making medic more compassionate is ''missing the point of his character'' when he is literally shown to be in the comics.... did you miss the part where he showed concern for both sniper and miss pauling's well being in comic 5 and 6.

His actions are a combination of genuine attachment + clinical interest and these things do not cancel out one another. He is always pushing boundaries and going against the grain and i think this is what led to him losing his license in the first place. He felt stifled by the rules imposed on him.

He is shown to be extremely passionate so it makes sense that he would use his endless fascination with medicine as a way to show his affection. He loves his friends so he will find a way to make them borderline indestructible. Malpractice is his love language.

#it makes me really angry how adamant some people are against exploring his sweeter side beyond just ''heehoo evil doctor''#idk how to tell you that giving a character a wider range of complexities and oftentimes contradicting traits #does not equal 'woobification'. him being friendly social and cheerful and fascinated with the world around him (which he canonically is)#is not the same thing as writing him as a helpless softboy. those two things do not correlate #i saw this take a while ago that made me really mad #basically they claimed medic didn't even bother to check on sniper because of his 'ego' and 'callousness'#except he literally did! he was visibly worried when sniper wanted to get back in the fight!#it's so abundantly clear that medic just misses social cues and doesn't always react accordingly #i mean they also had some other takes on him that made me incredibly uncomfortable and just didn't make sense to me #plus his quote unquote evilness is a joke it's not. something that is meant to be taken seriously #he's more comparable to a saturday morning cartoon villain except he is a protagonist #the way he approaches medicine to me is very similiar to #a child playing potions if that makes sense. he is throwing shit together to see what sticks #and having fun with it #i might rewrite this later to be more coherent because i have alot of thoughts on him that are jumbled together #and there is so much to say abt him #also i find it so funny how inconsistent he is. he tells them they all hallucinated before brain death #yet he personally went to hell multiple times. why did he do that #tf2 #medic #tf2 medic #medic tf2 #team fortress 2

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welcometogrouchland · 8 months

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ANOTHER SKETCH DUMP! Featuring more of me playing with lineless art. Batman reborn era trio (dick, damian and steph) I miss you...when will you return from war. Also featuring Steph designs bc I've seen ppl dissatisfied w/ her current look, some good mom Talia, and Jason Todd poetry club. Duke is confused not that Jason would start a poetry club but that he'd have such mid poetry opinions. (ID in Alt)

#dc comics #batfamily #damian wayne #stephanie brown #dick grayson #talia al ghul #duke thomas #cassandra cain #mine #woo new art tag. please god let me keep this up all year #uhh anyway yeah! still a big backlog of sketches but i got burnt out which means i had time to collect some #i feel like my art looks. extremely different w/o lines compared to with? idk i worry that's it weird/off-putting #but hey at the end of the day I'm hardly worrying about my brand integrity on tumblr dot com #duke and cass being at poetry club is based on them canonically being into poetry and for a good while duke and jason got along well #Steph is there for both jason and cass' emotional support (unfortunately there's a design flaw. she can't do both simultaneously)#(which is fine bc cass is fleeing the scene at the idea of having to casually hang out with jason)#(they're the exact amount of similar and more importantly different that it's like putting two firecrackers together. bad)#i really like the steph mask designs... it'd be fun to do something with them but idk what y'know?#I'm just like. if we're assuming that her mask has to be different from both babs and cass then this is what I've got as alternatives #i mostly wanted to practice character interaction with the talia and damian one... and also i love them #looking at james gunns batman movie proposal. you keep your hands OFF HER MR GUNN #please if shes evil in a movie they're never gonna let her be good in the comics again 😭#dc when you inevitably cave and do your next big reboot let the ppl finally have the son of the demon origin (w/ tweaks of course)#idk it's canon in my heart. heartcanon if you will <3 #anyway yeah uhhhhhh enjoy?

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 8 months

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Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 1: Dread on Arrival

(Part 2)

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #lan wangji #jiang fengmian #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #Yungmeng Jiang Training Arc AU #MDZS AU #The AU name for this idea is something I am 100% willing to change if someone has a better one.#There will be at least 2-3 more comics so *please*. Ideas and feedback welcome.#The core idea behind this AU is that LWJ goes to study with the Yunmeng Jiang sect instead of JC and WWX going to Cloud Recess #But why? Well I imagine Lan Xichen set it up to give LWJ a challenge (more social than skill based) and LWJ rose to it (begrudgingly)#Sort of a 'You've mastered so many Lan techniques but Other Sects have styles that are worth learning.' set up.#Lan Qiren agrees mostly on the basis that...well it's LWJ. Yunmeng Jiang is unruly but LWJ is beyond that riff-raff. He'll rise above it.#This is the story of a boy who thrives on routine and rules spending time in a place that is his apparent antithesis.#Also it is so warm there. He is used to it being cold and what do you MEAN just take off some of my layers?#I just want to see him struggle and flail in many situations. And get him in Jiang Purple. Is that so wrong of me?#(Soaking wet JC is part of my 'JC was born to swim; forced to hold a sword' agenda. Do not remove him from the water)#((Politeness notes: JFM would *not* call LWJ 'lan wangji' nor would LWJ be vocally impolite to a sect leader.))

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