#I just had some pizza but it was meh :(

[moonstruckme]

omg i'm SO obsessed with roommate james like you don't understanddddd 😭💗 i've been loving the shy reader fics so far i'm so excited to see more of them!! i don't know if this would make sense w/ shy reader so honestly just write it however you want but i would loooove to see something w/ roommate james where he has friends over but is always like talking about her and checking on her and everything and his friends are just teasing him about it hahaha i think it would be so fun!! anyway tysm and i hope you have a good day!!!

Hi sweetheart! I had this scene already written but I did implement a couple of the things you requested, hope you like it <3

cw: alcohol

part 1 │ part 2 │ part 3 │ part 4 │part 5 │ part 6 │ part 7 │ part 8 │ part 9 │ part 10 │ part 11 │ part 12 │ part 13

roommate!James x shy!reader ♡ 1.3k words

Somehow, you’ve wound up basically in James’ armpit. 

“Falsehoods!” James is laughing, nearly shouting, but you get the sense one needs to yell a bit to communicate in this friend group. Everyone except Lily and Remus, that is, for whom the others seem to quiet reflexively every time they start to speak. “Lies and falsehoods! If I recall, I wasn’t the one who left a pot in the sink for so long it grew mold.” 

“It wasn’t my pot!” Sirius defends himself, propping himself up on Remus' shoulder to make his point. He’s somehow managed to recline on the arm of your couch, his boyfriend’s arm wrapped cautiously around his waist to keep him from slipping off. “You cooked pasta in it and then forgot!” 

“Y/n,” says Lily, sitting across her girlfriend’s lap, “blink twice if you need help.” 

Mary laughs, hooking her hands under Lily’s knees to pull her closer and then intertwining their fingers. This is another thing you’ve noticed about James’ friends: they have a tendency to pile. Not even necessarily with their respective significant others and seemingly regardless of the seating available; last time you came home Sirius was half across James’ lap and Lily and Remus were sitting together on the rug as if the rest of the couch wasn’t empty. 

You laugh too, self-consciousness making you slip further down James’ side when the others look your way. So, it’s possible you have some idea of how you came to be basically in his armpit. 

James grins down at you. “Don’t listen to them,” he stage-whispers. “We both know what a good roommate I can be, under the right management.” 

Your answering smile comes far too easily. You like seeing James like this. You don’t think he’s ever not himself, but as soon as Sirius got here it’s like he dialed up to eleven. And he obviously loves his friends, entertaining them, making them laugh. You can see why, too. They’re an easy bunch to talk to. 

It probably helps that James has been practically tipping ciders down your throat (he hasn’t; he’s offered them to you, and you’ve gulped them down like the nervous freak you are), but you’re actually having a good time. You felt a bit indebted after he’d bought you a pizza last week and you’d still chickened out of coming downstairs, but now you’re glad you’re here. 

Your body feels loose and liquidy, and your shoulder is just starting to hurt from the position you’re in (which makes you wonder how long James’ ribs have been hurting from your shoulder digging into them) when he looks down at you again. He seems amused. 

“You comfy down there?” he asks. 

“Meh.” It’s an honest answer. 

“Here.” He brings his arm to your shoulder, propping you up and then scooching closer to you on the couch. Now you’re not in his armpit so much as under his arm, which drops from where it’s draped across the back of the couch to squeeze your shoulder reassuringly. “Better?” 

“Yeah.” Even the social lubricant of alcohol can’t keep the nervous edge from your voice. “Thanks.” 

“Course, love.” He gives your shoulder another little squeeze, beaming as he focuses back on the conversation. 

Your chest hurts, a gratifying ache. 

You manage to down another cider before his friends start saying their goodbyes, Sirius and Remus each whipping out a cigarette as soon as they’re outside while Lily and Mary fake cough and James heckles them lovingly from the doorway. 

When he shuts the door he’s still smiling, so obviously content you can’t help but feel a crush of affection for him. 

“Thanks for inviting me,” you say, grabbing a rag to clean up where Mary had accidentally spilled a bit of her drink. 

“Of course, I told you you’re always—what are you doing?” 

He sounds so affronted you actually think you’ve done something wrong. You look up from where you’re mopping up the spill, confused. 

“I’m cleaning everything from tonight,” he says, still looking outraged. 

You smile in relief when you realize it’s feigned. “Don’t be stupid. I was participating tonight, too.”

“You make it sound like you were an accomplice to some crime.” James sits down beside you and steals the rag from your hand, cleaning up the rest of the spill himself. “You’re off the hook, you were practically coerced.” 

“I was,” you agree, standing and gathering the dishes from the coffee table instead, “but it was fun in the end. I’m a little bit glad you coerced me.” 

You can hear James’ smile in his voice. “I’ll be sure to do it more often. First, I’m gonna coerce you into hanging out with us again on Friday, and then—“ He turns around, eyes narrowing as he spots the couple of glasses you’re carrying “—stop picking up my mess! Fuck, I can’t keep up with you, you’re like a machine.” 

A giggle fizzes out of you. James stands and holds his hands out for them, but you take a couple of steps back. “Why can’t I help? Anyway, you’re just as clean as I am.” 

“Because, it was my idea,” he laughs, pursuing you. “And I’m only clean because you’re clean.” He backs you up against the stairs, wrestling the glasses away from you with frustrating ease. “If I thought you didn’t care, this whole place would look like the inside of my room.” 

You give an odd bark of laughter, leaning on the banister to look at him. He looks ridiculously smug, both glasses held in one big hand. “Oh my god, you’re so nice. It’s pathological.” 

“Wow.” Some of the smugness falls away as James grins at you. “That’s a real one.” 

“What?” 

“Your smile,” he says. You still don’t get how he can do this eye contact thing, looking at you so openly while he seems so sincere. Your own gaze flees downward, warmth rushing to your cheeks. “I don’t get to see it a lot, out in the open like that. It’s really lovely.” 

He reaches for you, doing this weird chin-pinching thing that shouldn’t be half as endearing as it is. You roll your eyes, but your mouth seems stuck. You don’t know how to respond. 

James doesn’t seem to notice, taking the glasses with him into the kitchen. You grab a few more off the table and follow him. He’s turned the light above the sink on, but the rest of the kitchen is dim. His long sleeves are pushed up to his elbows as he makes soapy water in the sink. 

As you come in, he turns around to take the glasses from you, the light from above casting a glowy halo of his thick brown hair. He’s so beautiful it makes your stomach hurt. You’re suddenly worried you might be just inebriated enough to do something stupid. 

James narrows his eyes at you teasingly as he snatches the glasses away. “Enough of that,” he scolds. 

“Are you sure you don’t want any more help?” you ask. 

He rolls his eyes. You’re pretty sure he didn’t do that so much before he started hanging out with you. On him, it somehow manages to look fond. “Positive,” he says. “Go stop being useful.” 

You catch yourself biting the inside of your lip. “Okay. Then I think I’m gonna head up for the night.” 

“Yeah?” James looks over, and you wonder for a second if something in your voice has given you away. He looks confused, a bit worried, but then that melds into a soft sweetness. He gives you a smile. “Okay. Sweet dreams.” 

“You too,” you say, doing your best to smile in response before you round the corner to the stairs. 

Your brain feels fuzzy. You’re not sure if that’s from alcohol or fatigue or something else entirely, but it feels good to put on your pajamas, clean your face in front of the mirror. The covers on your bed are soft and heavy. You can hear the kitchen sink running downstairs as you slip beneath them, James finally starting to rinse the dishes before he turns in for the night, too. 

You think of his boisterous laugh, the weight of his arm around your shoulders, his thumb pressing into your chin. 

When you close your eyelids, you half expect to find a faint outline of his smile impressed upon the insides.

[cherriesformatt]

vlog day || matt sturniolo

matt x fem!reader

summary: you said yes to being in the vlog while spending time with ur best friends and your boyfriend.

warnings: none

word count: 1,1k

a/n: have a good day ily

🍒

“Are you filming already?” I asked sitting at the table and putting stuff in my purse.

I was cleaning it because I couldn’t find my favorite lipstick anywhere.

“Yes, you said it’s okay if we film the vlog with you right?” Nick asked me and I nodded.

“Yes, yes look guys!” I looked at the camera and brought a gift bag closer to me.

“So I said few days back that I wasn’t feeling that good lately like you know mentally because I had a lot of work and stress. I came in here this morning and this was on the table with my name on it” I showed the bag.

“Look what Chris and Nick got me” I laughed showing the camera the coffee cup with triplets photos on it.

“We know you love coffee so… you know you can look every morning at people who brings you joy in your life” Nick laughed behind the camera.

“Yes and you know what’s the funniest part? They only put one photo of Matt” I said and stood up when I saw Chris coming up with the new Dr Pepper.

“It’s finally here people let’s try it” he said.

“He is constantly talking about it let’s just get over it” I whispered to the camera.

“I found your lipstick honey… oh your filming already?” Matt came from his room.

“Aww Matt you’re not beating lover boy allegations ever again” Chris laughed at him but Matt only rolled his eyes and gave me the lipstick.

“Thank you Matt” I smiled and wanted to peck his lips but I didn’t.

I didn’t want to push that I was already in the vlog. But I was exited and I said yes because us four actually didn’t spent time together for a long time now. So I was excited for some fun with my boyfriend and his brothers.

“Ladies first….”Chris gave me the can.

“Okay because if I die it’s on you…” I say and I took a sip.

It wasn’t bad but also it wasn’t my favorite.

“Meh… it’s okay but I think you and Nick will like it” I gave it back to Chris.

He made his brothers try and they had a talk about it while I went to put my converse on.

When we got into the car I sat in the back with Nick so Chris could be in front of the camera.

“So we don’t know where we’re going yet” Chris said to the camera and we all looked at it surprised it’s on.

“What? I thought we can decide on camera…” he said.

“Let’s go to Melrose I want Happy Ice” Nick said and I clapped my hands.

“Yes! Happy Ice and pizza I’m in” I said and buckled my sit belt.

We were driving with Chris talking all the time and Matt crying about every dog we pass.

“When you explain something is impossible to know what you’re talking about… it’s like I spy game with 5 years old” I told Chris.

“Well I wanted to edge on…”He started.

“Oh you want us to edge you a little? Okay…”Matt said and I gasped.

“Matthew….”I hit his arm playfully.

“Don’t even start y/n” he said and looked at me in the mirror and I winked at him.

“Anyways… how much longer? I need to peepee” I said looking at maps.

“Oh my god you’re worst than Chris sometimes babe” Matt said.

I looked at him and laughed.

“What?” I asked.

“Guys.. that’s what y/n always does. 20 minutes before we left she said she needs to pee but instead going to the bathroom she did like 100 other things and she forgot to go and its like that every time we go out” Matt said.

“Woow sir what is this? Telling each other icks or what?” Nick asked looking at us.

“I would say about her hair in the bathroom everywhere” Matt added.

“Fair enough… I would say about your hair in the sink after you shave and we would be even” I laughed.

“And I would say your underwear under my couch when you guys forget you don’t live alone” Nick said and I covered my mouth with my hand.

“Shut up it was once” I said.

“Nah like three times” Chris said and I covered my whole face with my hands.

“We not putting this in the video and stop making her uncomfortable” Matt laughed.

“We were uncomfortable!” Nick yelled.

“Okay done with my sex life let’s talk about the weather or about how ugly is this persons outfit” I said when we stopped on red.

“Omg but look they are so cute having photo shoot together” Nick said and I smiled.

“Awww look how he’s holding her stuff for her” I said.

When we got to the pizza place I ordered for us and looked at the boys filming in the corner.

“Matt please don’t do that it actually sends shivers down my spine “I told him looking at him opening the water bottle with his teeth.

“Here I need to go to the bathroom” I gave him order numer and went into the toilet.

We ate in the car talking shit about people and than we got to the happy ice and I was holding the camera.

“Guys if he won’t take cherry for me I’m going to break up with him. I told him he needs to guess what I want” I whispered to the camera.

“Here I bought cherry flavored for you?” He came up to me with the desert and I smiled.

“Ah still need that anniversary gift then” I said to the camera when Matt took it from me and looked at me confused but I only smiled at him.

We walked around while we ate and then we came back to the car. While we were driving I saw a very handsome guy and me an Nick made a funny face in the same time looking after him.

“This guy was so hot!!” Nick yelled and I gave him high 5.

“ I knew you’re going to say that!” Chris said.

“y/n I’m not talking to you anymore” Matt said and I made a sad face.

“You love me Matty he was like 4 you are a 10” I said and he smiled.

“So technically you think I’m a 10?” Chris asked.

“Well yes but then you open your mouth” I said and everyone laughed.

When we came home I took my shoes off and sat down on the couch when boys finished up the video.

“Okay we’re done… that was fun thanks for coming with us and filming” nick said and he sat down next to me.

“I had fun too! I hope everyone is not going to kill me for being in the video” I said.

“They’re going to love you” he said and I smiled.

“Movie night?” Matt asked from the kitchen.

“Movie night!” I said happily.

He smiled and me and I hugged a pillow close to me. I was so relaxed after spending day with them. Nick was right. They were my favorite humans in the whole world.

[seattlesellie]

Can you write an ellie fic where she's getting off to photos of reader and moaning readers name and reader walks in on her

million times yes <3 ☁️🤍🐚🌫️

warnings: mdni!, masturbation, ellie’s a little bit of a weirdo, ellie gets caught.

Oops ♡

For you, being Ellie’s roommate was... hard. Unwashed dishes, the occasional sight of her boxer briefs messily laying around on the living room floor (“They fell from the laundry basket” she told), old crumpled yellow papers on the fuzzy carpet, an unwashed ashtray and a shit-ton of disorganized cards and pins adorning every single corner of the apartment.

But for for Ellie, oh, for Ellie it was even harder.

She always had a soft spot for things she’d never get. Your empty shampoo bottles never bothered her, neither did your habit of constantly forgetting to blow out the vanilla scented candles you lit once in a while, even after she told you they could be a fire hazard every. single. time.

What bothered Ellie, weren’t your complains, and neither were the repeating sounds and buzzes of your alarm clock followed by exactly eight hits on the snooze button (she counts, the walls are pretty thin).

What bothered Ellie, is that you didn’t give a single fuck about her. Or at least, that’s what she had convinced herself of.

When you’d lounge pretty on the couch, nestled within a cozy woolen blanket, your fingers tirelessly swiping and swiping and swiping through every single dating app known to man, she’d watch you intently, and stare.

It wasn’t because she was judging you, god knows she had a tinder phase herself (Amanda was her last straw. she said Ellie talked about her roommate “too much”, that she “needed to figure that shit out”, and then added a huff and a sigh followed by a “fucking lesbians, man”)

It was because she didn’t fucking get it. Could you not see what’s right in front of you? you didn't seem to... grasp the obvious. Don’t get it wrong, Ellie was not overconfident, and neither was she cocky. She just… noticed. She was observant by nature, and she knew, she was convinced shed never heard you laugh the way you do with her, with anybody else in the world. When your best friends were over for a girls night— even then, she would hear muted laughter and the occasional screech (barely audible over the backdrop of "The Smiths" blaring through her headphones) but never, ever, did that breathy, real, borderline on wheezing sound escape your mouth when you were with them. It was idly saved for her.

She’d take her earphones out— because perhaps she’d missed it, maybe she was delusional, maybe you did laugh like that— and then, plug them back in when she was met with silence or the gentle symphony of peaceful snores, and return to the solace of her music. She’d hollow in deep slumber, and have incredibly bizarre dreams of her pretty roommate roaming and floating around the apartment only in her underwear— and for some reason, a horn on her head. Dreams were fucking weird, man.

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆

“The Truman Show” played on tv. Jim Carey just made a funny face, and Ellie shoved another slice of greasy, brooklyn pizza in her mouth. She chewed, loudly (you sighed) and wiped her lips on her shoulder.

“I’d literally lose it if I found out my life was a tv show” you remarked, your eyes shifting from the remaining pizza to the flickering television screen.

“Meh” Ellie shrugged.

“I’d lose it if it was a video game though. Imagine if like— someone controlled every single movement you made… scary, man”

She huffed, and threw the pizza crust on the table. It fell on the floor. These fucking ants would come again, you knew they would! you gave her a stern look.

“Sorry” she softly sighed, and bent down to pick the crust off the pavement. Her boxers poked through her sweats, you looked across the room, and then you looked again. God.

“Plug you on their PS5, and go… ham and stuff” you giggled.

“Wild shit…” she shrugged. “Wild shit”

Jim Carey’s character just met the deepest corner of its own little world.

Ellie’s eyes were glued to the screen, even though she’d seen that flick about a million times.

You scrolled through your phone mindlessly. You know she hated when you did that while watching something with her— but you did it anyways. Something about the way her eyebrows scrunched together when she peaked at the screen through the corner of her eye always made your heart flutter. She pouted, and you tried to hide the way your lips curled upwards into a small smile.

“Should I post this on insta?” you questioned, handing ellie your phone. She took it in her hands, and the brightness was so high her eyes twinkled.

She bit her bottom lip, and then her top one.

“You’re like… half naked in that” she huffed. She wasn’t wrong, the bikini was so so tiny and the salt water covering your body, making it practically glisten in the sun, didn’t help the sensual undertones of said picture.

“I know” you stated.

She looked at you, and then looked at the screen again. Don’t look too long, she thought to herself. She handed the phone back to you, and stared at the television. Great, she just missed the best part!

“Is that a no?” you quipped.

“That’s a… who are you posting that for?” she tried asking casually, and mask her jealousy with curiosity.

There must be someone. there just must. Perhaps it’s for that girl you talked to on Bumble… shit, maybe its for that blonde from work or the one with the long braids that waved to you for too long who Ellie had made her arch enemy. Or maybe it was for that fucking ex girl—

“Why would you think I’m posting it… for someone?”

Ellie sighed, and rolled her eyes.

“Cause you look good in it.”

She gulped, and moved a hair strand from her face. it itched, all of a sudden.

“Or like— you look naked or something.”

You rolled your eyes back, and yawned.

“Is that a no?” you questioned.

“No what?” she snickered.

“Is that a no i shouldn’t post?” you removed a microscopic piece of lint that landed on her hoodie, it made her shiver.

She let out a shaky breath, and toyed with the string that hung loose from her black nike socks.

“Why are you askin’ if you’re gonna post it anyways?”

You smirked. For some reason you couldn’t quite put your finger on, sometimes, conversations with her weren’t exactly easy.

“Who said i’ll post? I asked you because I needed your advice”

“Sure” she stated, and slid off the couch.

“Post it” she crossed her arms.

You nodded. post!

You already had one like. Oh, it’s that blonde girl from work. fire emoji, winky face emoji, red heart emoji. Nice!

“M’going to bed” she groaned, and shoved a tiny mushroom in her mouth.

“Ugh. gooey”

You looked up from your phone, and shut it off with a click.

“But you’ll miss the best part!” you pouted.

“Tired” she shrugged. Her face scrunched together. how is she so fucking adorable.

“M’kay… night!”

Ellie dragged her body across the dim lit living-room, and almost slipped on one of her socks.

“Mmmmight” she mumbled.

“Say it nicely!” you yelled across the room, it echoed.

“Good nightttt”

The door slammed shut. Ellie sat down on the bed, and stared at the wall. She cracked her knuckles, one by one, and threw her head back on the mattress, wrapped up by green flannel sheets. Her head landed on the pillow with a soft thud, and she took a long, deep breath. She wasn’t even tired, why did she lie?

That image just took over her brain again. She had only glimpsed it briefly, not truly absorbing its details, before reluctantly handing the device back to you. If she stared any longer— her cheeks would burn a bright pink.

The screen of her Android glowed in the darkness, so she grabbed it. Always on silent mode.

A message from Joel; “Got Maria to iron some of your clothes. remember Janet from across the street? She passed away last week, LOL (lots of love).”

Ellie scratched her eyes, chuckled, and took a screenshot. no fucking way.

A message from Dina; “can u send me some lives on candy crush?”

Followed by another one;

“send them right now or die”

So she scrolled some more.

Instagram; “dinawoodward, jessethekinggglol, courtneycameron and others liked this post!”

She tapped, and thats when her eyes popped out of her head. she suddenly felt parched. She looked around the room— that water-bottle she kept from two weeks ago after a trip to the local bodega must be around there somewhere.

It was not, so there you stood, almost half-naked, a playful smile gracing your lips, the sun-kissed sand partially covering your stomach, and the gentle touch of saltwater caressing your chest. A pair of brown sunglasses adorned your face, with the serene sea standing still in the background.

Ellie blinked once. And then once more, and then she zoomed in.

Her face twitched, and her breath hitched inside her throat. It felt as though her breath had been captured and confined, held hostage within her, struggling to find its release.

She double tapped, and began typing;

“If I could, I’d fuck the shit out of you”

She stared at her keyboard, and breathed deeply. What would happen if she, actually pressed send. Would you come barging inside her room and throw something at her? the green colored vase, maybe? or would you delete her comment, pretend it never happened and move on? perhaps you’d think she was just fucking around, and scold her for typing something like that where everyone could see. “You’re such a creep, el!” she could almost hear you say it. And she could almost feel the way your palm would slam right into her shoulder and nudge it her the side. It made her ears feel warm.

She zoomed in on your tits. Ellie’s face flushed a pretty, dusty pink.

Then, she zoomed in on your stomach, and her nipples perked up inside her hoodie. They grazed the material softly, and she let out a shaky breath.

When she zoomed in on your smile, she smirked at the screen. it made her feel warm and fuzzy and happy and she hated every minute of it. “Never gonna get it” echoed in her ears, a reminder of the "truth" tugged at her heart.

When she zoomed in on your covered cunt, she nearly went cross eyed. She could almost see the outline of your lips— or was she tripping?

Her cunt clenched around absolute nothingness inside her boxers. Was she… getting fucking wet over this?

She gulped, as waves of guilt washed over her. and then, she zoomed in on your tits again, and she felt so turned on she couldn’t even remember what the word guilt even meant.

She heard the echo of your giggle reverberating through the corridor, filling the space with a sound that made her stomach turn. the rhythm of your footsteps grew louder, gradually approaching your room situated just across from hers.

Perhaps you chuckled at something amusing one of your fucking bumble buddies had to say. She lightly bumped her forehead against the screen of her phone, her lips pressed together, forming a thin line.

Your door slammed shut, and a tune began.

“you’re so gorgeous… i cant say anything to your face, cause look at your face…”

How fucking ironic.

“Shut up alexa!” you groaned at the device, causing ellie to stifle a giggle, before she felt the pool flow down her boxers.

The apartment descended into a profound silence, save for the sound of Ellie’s labored breaths echoing in the stillness. she leaned in closer, scrutinizing the image on the screen, alternating between zooming in and zooming out, and crosser her legs together.

When the imagination of your bare tits popped up in her mind, your nipple poking through as you held them together on the screen, it ached inside of her.

Would it really be so wrong if she…?

There was no real harm in it, she thought. It was either this, or close her eyes and rub one off in the darkness, and even then— she had a nagging intuition that you would somehow find your way into her thoughts.

Woudl it really make her that much of a fucking pervert?

Ellie groaned, and brought her knees up to her stomach. Her phone was still in her hand, and that picture teased, and teased, and teased till she couldn’t handle it anymore.

Fuck it. if she did this, she was going to do it right. And she needed to see it close up— and not through her cracked fucking screen she wasn’t bothered fixing for two whole weeks now.

She opened the screen of her laptop, and when she sat on the black leather rolling chair, It felt fucking uncomfortable down there. It was sleek, and she could feel her cunt slide off on the fabric of her boxers.

“Fuuuuck me” she hissed under her breath.

www.instagram.com

Right click.

Your profile, right click. Her hand held a tremor.

You were the focal point, the star of the show, illuminating her old, black HP laptop. The screen, adorned with a thin layer of dust, caught her attention. She leaned in and blew gently, causing the particles to disperse and float away.

She swallowed hard, her throat constricting as she continued to gaze intently. Taking a deep breath, she attempted to steady herself, but the inhalation felt jagged and uneven.

She brought a veiny hand to graze the fabric of her grey colored sweats, just above her clothed cunt, and she felt so fucking relieved.

And it still wouldn’t stop fucking pulsing.

she stared at the bikini, and rubbed her finger up and down slowly, cupped her cunt forcefully, slapped it and whimpered.

“Goddamn” she huffed.

She began tracing big, deliberate circles, her touch slow and steady, causing the fabric of her boxers to cling to her wet cunt.

She had to take them off.

Swiftly, she inserted her thumbs into the edges of her boxers, right at the level of her hipbones, and pulled them down in one fluid motion. The fabric gathered messily around her ankles. She felt so fucking nasty.

Ellie spread her legs, and gasped as the cool air hit her most sensitive place. She waited for a minute, mouth agape, teasing her cunt before she touched it. She swore she could cum with just squeezing in and out while staring at your face.

However, she could not tease herself anymore when those thoughts began forming clearer and clearer.

She brought a long finger and caressed her slit slowly from her hole to her puffy little clit. "Oh fuck yes" she hissed.

It started with thinking about your tits. Her mind wandered, and her hole leaked into the leather chair, forming a small droplet to lay down on it. She breathed heavily.

The thought of you, taking off that bikini top in front of her went through her mind. Slow, deliberate process of undoing its strings, so so agonizingly slow. When they spilled out, ellie let out a high pitched moan.

“Touch them, Ellie” you whispered in her ear.

“Please touch me…” you whined.

She gasped, took two fingers, her middle and her ring, and formed tiny, slow circles on her wet clit. Ellie spread her legs wide, and placed them on the table.

It looked absolutely obscene.

In reality, Ellie was touching herself to a picture on a slightly dusty old screen. In her imagination, you stood pretty begging her for more. Your fucking whines did it for her, and she didn’t even know what they sounded like for real.

You circled your nipples, pinched them and spat a glob of saliva, letting it streamline down your tits, teasing ellie so bad she was already panting. They glistened, and ellie latched on to them, sucking and spitting and whimpering groaning.

“So good Ellie...” you moaned, holding the back of her hand and pushing her deeper.

“I want you so fucking bad”

“Holy fucking shit” she hissed, and slapped her clit. one slap! two slaps! she was desperate.

“Fuuuck yes” she whimpered, and plunged a finger inside her aching hole. It sucked her completely in, clenching around her fingers. She gasped, and slid off the chair.

She was staring at your fucking cunt with her eyes half shut. she swore she could see those fucking lips.

Now, Ellie’s mind took a turn. You laid pretty on her bed, chest heaving up and down, legs spread completely open with a pink vibrator buzzing on your clit.

“Ellie!” you moaned.

“Fuck me... please please please"

She plunged a second finger, and bucked her hips inwards and backwards. She whimpered, and a shaky breath followed by the sound of your name escaped her quivering lips.

“Need you in my pussy… p—pretty please”

She swore she could hear you say it.

Ellie pounced on her bed and savored you whole. she bit your clit, sucked on it and got her entire face wet with your juices.

“God yes” she groaned, wet, squelching sounds filling the room. She pumped them in and out, and in and out again, whilst the other hand was circling itself fast on her needy, pulsating clit. Every few seconds, she’d slap it again, open wider and wider, bucking and riding them so hard she could almost see a supernova right in front of her.

The dull ache in her pussy grew bigger and bigger.

“You need me? fucking whore” she whispered under her breath.

Thin, shiny, sticky drool flowed from the corner of her mouth, it landed on the top of her hoodie.

“Yes Ellie… please Ellie need you in my pussy” She pumped them profusely, feeling your walls take her in like she needed to. When she pumped them inside of herself— That’s what she liked to imagine. It was you, who took her in. They were your walls, your wet cunt begging and screaming for more.

She felt it coming in the pits of her stomach. It grew bigger and bigger, like a wave, or a volcano, threatening to erupt and make her cream all over her chair.

“Ellie yesyesyesyes!” you moaned.

She circled faster and faster, her perky tits bouncing up and down with every movement of her hips. The chair squeaked, but she couldn't be bother to take it slow.

“Ellie?” your voice echoed through the corridor.

“Yeah baby s— say my fucking name, fuck” she hissed, her eyes completely shut.

“Ellie?”

God, it felt so fucking real. Almost there. She bit her lip, and it drew blood.

The door collided with the wall, hitting it with a loud thud.

“Ellie?”

“N— fuNgh”

She almost screamed so loud the gods could hear. she shut her laptop off before even pulling her fingers out.

She was going to fucking faint.

Her face flushed a deep shade of crimson, intense embarrassment radiating from her form, hands trembling uncontrollably, and the expression on her face was one of sheer horror— wide eyed.

She got caught.

"What..." you uttered, your voice trailing off as you stood frozen in place, your mouth agape. Your knees threatened to give way beneath you.

You shut the door.

Ellie, her chest heaving, struggled to catch her breath.

“Oh my—“

“God”

[hereforhalstead]

CPD Gala

*GIF NOT MINE, full credit to the owner*

Requested?: Nope! Wanted to get something posted now I'm back :)

• Warnings: N/A

• Summary: Jay reminds you of the annual CPD gala but knows it's not your idea of fun

Words: 1,321

• A/N : I’m not gonna apologise again for being gone as god knows how many of these I post with that intro but I’m hoping to be back in the swing of things as I have a tonne of requests to get through and I don’t want anyone thinking their request is being ignored as I promise it isn’t!

Meh I don’t love it as I defo need to get back into the comforts of my writing (its gone so downhill lmao) but here we are..

Hope you enjoy🥰

****

Jay knew you weren’t the biggest fan of social occasions, so when you happily agreed to attend the annual CPD gala he had invited you along to, he was beyond surprised.

“I mean, I’ll ask her but don’t get your hopes up” he had joked with Kim a few days prior, following endless begging from her after finding out Hailey wouldn’t be there and wanting a familiar female face there.

“Tell her I’ll by her drinks all night” she quickly exclaims as Jay chuckles, eyes still firmly on the road as they drive back to the district.

“You do realise it’s a free bar?”

“Oh” she huffs, “more reason for her not to say no then” she happily shrugs, sinking back into her seat with a look of confidence.

As much as Jay could go on for hours about how he knew you better than anyone, least of all Kim who you had only met on a few occasions it was like talking to a brick wall sometimes and he didn’t have the patience.

You and Jay were homebodies and this suited you perfectly, he would come home after long shifts and you would still more than likely be sat in the same spot he left you at that morning. Countless half empty mugs filled with coffee that was now ice cold, papers scattered all over the table and floor with your eyes pinned firmly on the screen in front of you.

He would convince you to call it a night, you’d either order in food or you’d wander into the kitchen together to whip up dinner whilst he told you about his day. Depends on what you had, you’d either quickly tidy up the table as best you could or you both just slumped on the sofa with the pizza box balanced on your laps as you watched some trash TV.

You would always fall asleep before Jay, he would get too into the show you had put on and then couldn’t finish until he had got to the end whereas you probably wasn’t paying too much attention in the first place so would easily doze off to only be awoken with a light kiss to your head when Jay has turned the TV off.

It worked like clockwork, some may say boring but it just worked for you and you couldn’t picture it any other way. You were each others comfort, the feeling of home.

***

Jay had bought up the idea of going with him to the gala the previous year but you had only been dating for a few months and hasn’t told many people so you decided against it in mutual agreement.

The truth was it hadn’t left you mind since that exact day he casually asked you over dinner last year

“would be fun you know? “ he raised his eyebrows as he took a sip from his drink “having you on my arm all nice and dressed up” he teased

No Jay, it wouldn’t be fun.

Social outings weren’t your thing, you had a close family and the relationship you had with Jay and that was more than enough. An evening spent in Molly’s was something you had to build yourself up to, let alone a huge party with tonnes of people you had never met before.

Every week the thought would re-enter your mind on whether or not he would ask again this year, secretly hoping he would’ve forgot or they had a case on which meant they couldn’t go. You knew it was in August as Kim had mentioned it one night at Molly’s so as the month got closer, the more it played on your mind.

You even forced yourself one weekend to go dress shopping for the occasion to try and get yourself in the right mindset of being there to support Jay, after all you were beyond honoured he would want you by his side but sometimes the voice in your head would have a way of getting through.

“You know the CPD gala is this weekend?” Jay broke the silence, still chewing on his pizza as he flicked through the channels.

Shit

“I know it’s not your thing so I’m thinking of just third wheeling Kim and Adam, do you think they’ll mind?” he joked but you could tell there was something in his voice that had a twinge of disappointment.

“I’ll come with you”

Before you could register your voice to your brain, the words came out of your mouth.

“Baby, you do-“ he began but you were quick to cut him off in reassurance, placing a finger onto his lips as you smiled

“It doesn’t matter, you want me to be there so I’ll be there”

You placed a light kiss to his lips, the confusion plastered across his face but the light behind his eyes showing through in a gleam.

“Just promise me you will think about it first, don’t do this for me. You know I’d rather stay at home with you anyway but there isn’t many of us going to Voight wants us to make our presence known bla bla bla”

“I’ve already bought a dress” you lied, knowing it would be the thing to distract him

The chewing on his mouthful slowed, scanning your face with a slight narrow to his eyes as he tilted his head “what does it look like?”

“It’s just a little black dress, that alright with you?” you suggested, playful tone as he pouted his lips and nodded with a sign of approval “how comes I haven’t seen this dress?”

You lifted the pizza box from his lap whilst you began to tidy, scanning down to see him lift his hips to get more comfortable, slinging one arm to rest on the top of his head whilst the other clutched at the bottle of beer.

The gaze that was piercing into your back felt like it could burn a hole, the extra swing in your hips and swish of your ponytail was giving you the confidence you needed.

Placing the pizza box down on the side you turned to see Jay towering over you, one arm resting against the door frame with the other resting low in his sweatpant pocket.

“Seriously, let me see this dress”

You tried to keep your composure, acting like you couldn’t see the smile he was trying to hide despite the corners of his lips already turning up with his every word.

His eyes were pinned to you as you picked off a piece off fluff from his tshirt, following each move as you let your hand rest onto his chest.

Gazing up at him, innocence in your eyes as you could feel his heart pounding beneath your touch amongst the silence.

“You’re not allowed to see it until the Gala”

He huffed, rolling his eyes whilst running a hand across his forehead in stress

“but the guy in the store said I looked like a million bucks”

His eyes widened, smirk spreading across his lips as you felt his hand drop to your hip as he cleared his throat “did he now?”

You nodded, feeling his grip tighten as he let out a huff in laughter which you knew he didn’t mean in amusement.

Before you could think of what to come back with, his arm was slung over your waist, picking you up like you were a piece of paper and tossing you onto his shoulder. Marching towards the bedroom, not letting the fists you were prodding into his back stopping him.

“Jay?! What are you doing!” you exclaimed, being laid on the bed as he pinned his arms either side of your head to stop you from getting away from him. Dark glint in his eyes as he roamed about your body, taking in every inch as he admired.

“I think you need to show me this dress baby”

***

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[lizzaneia-elizalde]

Honestly if you could , how would you rate your yandere cooking for Darling (notably the yandere set 2). Like who would be at the tier having the most divine cooking , very talented to mediocre but still try hard for their darling to being banned from entering the kitchen forever cause of fire hazard from frying an egg?? (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

Also do you mind if i become 🐧 anon??

Yandere men and their cooking

I'll be answering this and my last ask, then i'll go write my last 3 yanderes, then opening inbox again! I'm still sick unfortunately, so it'll take some time.

YAN! DELINQUENT: 8/10

Liam is a good cook! He definitely prepares the meanest lunch meals out there. Househusband material, he literally has to feed himself by living through his wage and the money his parents give him, so he might as well enjoy! So rest assured he will feed you homely foods that you'll enjoy.

Fav food to cook: pepper beef on rice (quick, efficient, and tastes good!)

YAN! BULLY: 2/10

Eh.. Uno is pampered a lot. What he can probably only make is a scrambled egg, and that's on accident cuz he broke the yolk and mixed it to say "it's intentional". So, unfortunately, you have to cook, or a personal chef. Nothing in between. Unless you're okay with eggs everyday, every time to eat.

Fav food to cook: eggs. (That's the only thing he can cook)

YAN! NSFW ASMRTIST: 9.5/10

Rose definitely cooks the best stuff out there. He's been living by himself for a long, long time so he had time to read cook books, and he definitely watches Hell's Kitchen in his free time. So, expect food for the gods when he cooks for you.

Fav food to cook: Low and slow stew and soups. Meaty, hearty, and pairs well with rice (Full of love, affection, and time.)

YAN! ISEKAI'ED ADVENTURER: 5/10

Aeron is basic when it comes to cooking. He basically only cooks to make sure it's edible, non poisonous, and fulfilling. If he had a choice really, he would just do eat fruits and veggies raw. And when he does cook for you, unfortunately it's not anything remarkable. JUST LIE THOUGH AND SAY IT TASTES GOOD.

Fav food to cook: none... (It's a hassle)

YAN! PLAYER: 10/10

Surprised? He's blessed by the gods. How can this man be awful at cooking? Sure, he would prefer to not cook anything at all, but Amor would be extremely good at it despite not really cooking much because of his blessings. He would be really happy to cook for you though. Anything you want will be miraculously made close to perfection if it's not perfect already.

Fav food to cook: Any of your favorite foods gourmet style (he loves to spoil you while boasting about his... Ill-gotten skills)

YAN! PARASITE:6/10

Acheron knew how to follow instructions, so food is above average at most. As long as the recipe was good, and reviews are nice, then you know you are in good hands. Acheron will cook you food from your favorite cookbooks, so please, don't be shy and send him a link, or gift him a book. He'll be more than happy to cook for you.

Fav food to cook: The simple recipe ones (less chance of messing up the flavor)

YAN! EMPEROR: 0/10

"No. I will not do something like cook."

YAN! COLLEGE STUDENT:8.5/10

Alpheus is a great cook actually, but he never really enjoyed it. He usually does the cooking when Ignatius comes to his home to hang out or teach him how to adapt socially. But, he'll be happy cooking for you.

Fav food to cook: squid ink pasta, and margarita pizza (sharing food for when you or Ignatius eat with him)

YAN! DEEP SEA CREATURE: 0/10

"What is... Cooking?"

YAN! HUNTER: 7/10

Orion is one of those grill dads. Most of the time it's seafood too. But you can guarantee that it will be the most delicious grilled seafood you'll eat. Other meats? Meh... It's more or less okay. His specialty lies by the sea. He will not be opposed in cooking land or sky meat though, just say the word.

Fav food to cook: grilled oysters with cheese or caviar, and lobster with butter baste (best tasting food with low effort)

YAN! KING: 0/10

"A king doesn't cook."

YAN! GOD: 4/10

Well, Liviticus can't cook unless it's very simple like rice and eggs, or like... Ramen. Basically only 1-3 stepped cooking. Cuz essentially, with him being a god, he can just summon the food from thin air. So like, he's your automatic food dispenser. If you want to teach him though, then he would love to.

Fav food to cook: Ramen (Technically not cooking)

YAN! PROSECUTOR: 9/10

Yuta, of course, knows how to cook and he cooks well. Surprisingly, he's into baking. And that's his mastery. He just doesn't have time to cook or bake at all due to being a prosecutor. But if you ask him to, then he will gladly bake or cook for you.

Fav food to make: macarons (time consuming, delicate, and needs his full attention that can distract him from his job and reality)

-----------------------------

So ranking from basically perfect to definitely not

PLAYER>ASMRTIST>PROSECUTOR>COLLEGE STUDENT>DELINQUENT>HUNTER>PARASITE>ISEKAI'ED ADVENTURER>GOD>BULLY>EMPEROR=DEEP SEA CREATURE=KING

[thatlovinfeelin]

He Don't Like The Lights |Bradley Rooster Bradshaw Actor AU| Two

“Here’s another beer.”

“Can I ask you something?” Bradley questioned. 

“Sure, don’t see why not.”

“Why are you working here?” He questioned.

You laughed and took a step towards him, “This seemed as good a place as any. The pay isn’t horrible when you factor in the tips I usually make. It’s not as bad as it seems.”

“But if you could go anywhere else, where would you go?” He asked, seeming serious. 

You merely shrugged, “A city. Like a big city. Somewhere new, I’ve only ever been in Virginia.”

He nodded and took a swig of beer, “The rest of the country isn’t as impressive as you’d think. But I understand wanting to be somewhere other than here.”

“‘Well, you can say that. You’ve been everywhere,” You laughed, “All over the world.” 

He nodded, and shoveled another forkful of mac into his mouth. He let out a moan, which caused your cheeks to turn pink. You liked that sound, and truthfully you wanted to hear more of it. It made you wonder what other sounds he could make. 

“This shit is amazing,” He groaned, “I think this beats what my mom used to make for me.” 

“Well now, let’s not diss a mama’s cooking,” You joked, “Just holler if you need anything okay? I’ll leave you to enjoy your meal.”

“Hey wait!” He called, reaching for your arm, “I have a….favor to ask you.”

“Okayy….”

“This is going to sound strange, but I get the feeling that you aren’t a total psycho,” He stated, “I was supposed to bring my girlfriend home to meet my parents. But I broke up with her, and I haven’t told them yet. Could I convince you to join me?”

“I’m sorry, you want me to pretend to be your girlfriend and meet your parents?” You questioned. 

“Yeah, pretty much. I know it sounds crazy.”

“Crazy? Try insane! I could be anyone, I’m literally just some random waitress and you want me to come home with you and play house?”

“You could say no.”

“And yet, I don’t want to say no,” You shrugged.

“So you’ll do it?” He smirked, like he knew he was getting his way. 

“Meh, why not,” You shrugged, “I’ve been looking for ways to spice up my life a little. Playing girlfriend to a world famous actor seems like a good way to do it.”

He let out a laugh and snagged a pen from your apron, “Here’s my number, try to resist giving it to everyone? Why don’t you shoot me a text so I have yours too.”” 

“Oh don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.”

The following day, you were running around your bathroom trying to get ready. Celeste was on the couch in the living room, pigging out on three day old pizza while watching old reruns of Nashville. She looked like a slob, like she often did when you had days off together, but you couldn’t not when Bradley was coming to get you. 

“Hey so I need you not to freak out,” You told Celeste as you fluffed your hair again. 

“What’s going on?”

“So that single table from last night?” She nodded as you chewed on your lip, “That was sort of Bradley Bradshaw, and he’s on his way here now to pick me up for a….date.”

Celeste sputtered, “Sounded like you said a date.”

“I did.”

“You’re lying. This is some cruel joke.” 

“I wish I was C.” 

The knock on your door caused you to panic slightly. You turned around and looked in the mirror again, deciding your lipstick was the wrong color. Panicking even more, you turned around and ran back into your bathroom, yelling at Celeste as you did. 

“Can you get that? Please?” 

You could hear Celeste sigh and get up from the couch before unlocking the door. You wished Bradley would’ve waited outside like you originally told him to. You didn’t want him to see your shit apartment, but he insisted on coming up to the door and getting you. 

You heard the second she opened the door and realized who was on the other side. Because the door slammed shut followed by a scream. 

“HOLY FUCK!” She yelled, “HOOOLLLY SHIT!”

You ran out of the bathroom again, sliding in a fresh pair of earrings, “Open the damned door, C!” You hiss at her. 

“That’s Bradley fucking BRADSHAW!” She hissed back, “I just slammed the door in Bradley Bradshaw’s face. Oh my god. Holy fucking shit. He’s outside.”

“Yes, which is why we need to open the door!” You groaned, pushing past her, “Hey, I’m sorry about her,” You said, swinging the door back open. 

“No harm done,” He laughed, “I take it that was Celeste?” 

You sigh and nod, “Yeah that was her.”

“Oh my god he knows my name,” Celeste seemed to be hyperventilating behind you. 

“Is she okay?” He asked you, pointing to C. 

You shook your head, “No, she won’t recover from this one, I’m afraid.” 

“Anything I can do?”

“Just get me out of here,” You laughed, “She’ll come to again once we leave.”

He laughed and held out his hand for you. You took it and smiled at him, feeling a zap of energy as you did so. You needed to keep your head on straight, this was just a one time deal. You were going to help him out with his parents and he’d go back to LA and forget all about this. You would get the ability to say you met Bradley Bradshaw, maybe get a picture or two with him and it would be something to tell the kids one day. 

He walked you out to his rental car, which was more nondescript than you expected. You thought he would be driving something like a Porsche or a Corvette but instead he was driving a slightly beat up pickup truck, which looked like it was going to be retired from the fleet soon enough. 

But he seemed to be at home in the car. He knew his way around it, didn’t seem to miss a beat as he started driving down the road. His parents lived in Virginia Beach, not far from the base. Bradley said that’s where they lived from the time he was born, aside from a few short years in California. Which was where Bradley fell in love with acting. 

You learned a lot about him during that short drive. Like he was giving you a crash course, so you could keep up and act like you were madly in love with him. You gave him details about your life too, how you’d grown up in Norfolk, the daughter of shipyard workers. How you went to college but haven’t used your degree. You were an only child, but always had animals growing up, including a bunny. Bradley laughed at that. He could somehow imagine you as a little girl snuggling with a bunny. 

“My mom is a little much,” He warned as he pulled in the driveway of a quaint little house, “Dad is chill, you’ll probably love them.”

“How much is a little much?” You questioned. 

“She’s just protective, and energetic,” he explained, “You’ll survive though. I’m sure you’ve dealt with worse at the bar.” 

He helps you out of the car, and walks you to the door with his hand on the small of your back. It feels like how a relationship should be. You felt nervous as you walked up to the door. He winked at you before knocking. It took all of two seconds before the door swung open to reveal a small woman with graying blonde hair.

“Bradley!” She cheered, grabbing him and hugging him tightly, “And you must be the girlfriend we know nothing about.” 

“Um.”

“Ignore her,” An older man said, stepping into view, “She’s in mom mode.” 

“This is Y/N,” Bradley said, wrapping his arms around you. 

“I’m Carole, this is Nick but everyone calls him Goose,” The woman stated, kissing the man’s cheek. 

“I take it that’s from your days in the Navy?” You questioned. 

“Ah, so he did tell you a few things,” Goose laughed, “We used to call Bradley here, Rooster when he was a kid. His hair would always stick up like a rooster’s tail.”

“Aww, Rooster, that’s cute,” You coo, hugging Bradley a little tighter. 

You couldn’t tell if it was too much or not. You’d never fake dated anyone before, but you figured laying it on thick couldn’t hurt. Bradley just smiled and kissed the top of your head.You had to be playing the part right, because he squeezed your side affectionately. Which made Mrs.Bradshaw smile as she ushered you both into the house. 

She started talking about how she cooked Bradley’s favorite for dinner, and she hoped you were hungry because she made extra, as always. She made a joke about how much Bradley could eat when he actually let himself and wasn’t on a diet for some sort of movie. Adding that you had to know all about that. 

You laughed and told her that you took him to your favorite restaurant on the boardwalk and got him hooked on Pulled Pork Mac N Cheese. She just said that sounded like her boy. 

Meanwhile, Mr. Bradshaw and Bradley seemed to be doing their own sort of catching up. They clapped each other on the shoulder and disappeared into the side room, leaving you alone with Carole. You swallowed thickly and tried your best to keep up. But you felt like you were in over your head. You knew next to nothing about Bradley, save for what you read on the internet and what he told you on the way here and last night over text. But even still you knew nothing that a real girlfriend would know. 

It made you panic slightly. Because you felt like she would find out. Like she would see right through you in a heartbeat. Like it was only a matter of time. 

“Rude of him to leave you alone like that,” She shook her head, “I thought I raised him better than that. But whenever he sees his dad…well we almost lost Goose when Bradley was younger. The two of them have a bond I could never understand. So it’s always special when they’re able to spend time together.” 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know that,” You’re stunned with the way she said it so casually. 

“Brad doesn’t like to talk about it. Goose was in a training accident, it was a real scare for all of us.”

“Well I’m glad he’s okay.”

“So am I, I don’t know what I would do without him,” Carole sighed, leaning against the kitchen counter, “So do you want to tell me where he found you? Because honey, you seem very sweet, but I know you aren’t dating my son.”

Well….you were fucked.

[canirove]

Friends, lovers… and an orange | Chapter 15

Author's note: Big things happening in this week's chapters 👀

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

“I don’t know if I’m going to be able to make it back to the villa, Mase. I ate so much…”

“I told you we should have taken the Vespa.”

“Yeah… Anyway, thank you for this.”

“You’re very welcome” he smiled before kissing her hand, that once again, was tangled with his. 

It was the day before Adele’s birthday, and since her parents had decided to throw a little party, Mason had planned to take her into town to eat together just the two of them one last time. And they had gone to one of their favourite places, the pizzeria they had loved so much all those years ago.

“Can we have some gelato?”

“Addie, are you still hungry?” Mason laughed.

“They say it is digestive, remember? And I need something to help me with it, look at my belly. It's as if I'm like 5 or 6 months pregnant.”

“What?” he chuckled.

“Look” she said, letting go of his hand and touching her stomach the same way pregnant women do. 

“Adele!” Mason laughed. 

“Do I look pregnant or not?”

“You look beautiful.”

“And pregnant” she repeated, trying to ignore how her cheeks were getting warm. “How should we call him?”

“What?”

“My food baby. He is yours, you were the one who took me to the pizzeria.”

“I mean… Since the baby was made at Gialunca’s pizzeria…”

“Gianluca. I like it. Say hello to your pizza son, Gianluca” Adele laughed.

“Hello” Mason smiled, caressing her belly as if there actually was a baby in there. When their eyes met, his hand still on her stomach, they found themselves smiling like two idiots. And then, a horrible sound was heard.

"Holy shit, Addie" Mason laughed. "I felt my hand vibrating!"

"I told you I needed something to help with my digestion. That sound isn't a good sign."

"Smelly Addie?" he smirked.

"That happened once!"

"That I know of…"

"Meh meh meh" she replied, rolling her eyes. "As if you didn't do it."

"I do, but mine smell like roses" he grinned.

"Ha!" 

"They do."

"Then next time you should bottle one and save it for your next perfume."

"Maybe I should. Good idea, Addie" Mason said before both of them bursted out laughing.

“Anyway, gelato?” Adele asked.

“Gelato” Mason smiled. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Elizabeth, you need to relax."

"How do you want me to relax when they've been lying to our faces for months?"

"Those photos may have been taken out of context."

"Toni, have you seen the same photos I have? You can't take that out of context!"

"It can happen. Or have you forgotten that you yourself went through something like this before your wedding?"

"This is different" Elizabeth said.

"How?"

"In my case it was just a bad angle on a red carpet. They were..."

"They are coming. Please behave" Toni said.

"I'll try" Elizabeth replied, taking a deep breath.

"Good morning, mum" Mason smiled, walking into the kitchen.

"Good morn..."

"Adele, are you pregnant?" her mum asked, not allowing her to finish her sentence.

"What?" her and Mason said at the same time.

"Are you pregnant, yes or no? It's a simple question."

"Of course not! Why are you asking me that, mum?" 

"Because of this" Elizabeth said, showing her her phone.

"What the fuck! Did your agency tell you about this? Did you know?" Adele asked Mason.

"I did not" he hissed, reading the headline. Mount-Turlington baby on their way! The couple was caught sharing some cute moments around the small baby bump while in Italy, where they are celebrating Adele's birthday with their families. 

"Anything else you would like to add?" Elizabeth asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I'm not pregnant, mum. We had been having lunch and I was joking about eating too much and having a food baby, nothing else!"

"Is that true, Mason?" Toni asked him.

"It is, mum. Adele and I haven't... You know" he said, his cheeks turning a dark shade of pink.

"They are telling the truth, Elizabeth. Look at his face."

"Are you dating?" she asked.

"You know we aren't, mum. We are just faking it so the paparazzis would leave us alone" Adele said.

"I'm not so sure of that anymore, tho. Because every time you share something online, I have more and more doubts about you telling us the truth."

"What?"

"She's right, you know?" Toni said. "The more we see you together, the more we all doubt about what you guys tell us. You do look like a couple, and not just online."

"I can't believe this" Adele laughed. "Yes, we are closer than before. But we are not dating, or sleeping together or having a baby. Tell them, Mase."

"We aren't" he whispered, his eyes fixed on the floor.

"See? Look at him! You are lying!" Elizabeth said, pointing at Mason. "Why can't you trust me, Adele? I thought we could tell everything to each other!"

"And we can!"

"Then stop lying and tell us the truth!"

"I already have!"

"No, you have not! You and Mason are together but don't want to admit it for whatever the reason!"

"Elizabeth..." Toni said, trying to calm her down.

"We are not dating!" Adele said.

"Liar!"

"Urgh!"

"Adele! Adele, where are you going?" Elizabeth yelled.

"Somewhere as away from you as I can!" she yelled back, leaving the kitchen.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Is this seat taken?"

"Mase" Adele said, wiping away a tear. "How did you find me?"

"I guess I know you too well" he chuckled, sitting down next to her. "How are you?"

"Angry, sad, hurt, and having the worst birthday ever. How did those paps find us?"

"I don't know. I texted my agency and they swore they didn't call them."

"And do you believe them?"

"I actually do, yes."

"Then how…"

"They believe someone may have recognized where we are through one of the photos we've shared, and tipped the press."

"And they had to find us yesterday when we were being silly" Adele sighed.

"And now you and your mum are angry with each other, and it's all my fault" Mason said.

"What?"

"It's all my fault, Addie. I should have said something else, but I..."

"My mum not believing us isn't your fault, Mason. It's hers. All those articles have gotten into her head."

"But I should have been more convincing."

"You were convincing."

"I wasn't, Addie. Anyone could tell I was lying. My mum noticed too."

"But you weren't lying, Mase. We aren't dating."

"We aren't, but..."

"But?"

"Remember what happened here, under this same tree, when we were sixteen?" 

"I came here to cry after an argument with my mum. Kind of like today" Adele chuckled. "You found me and we..."

"We kissed" Mason said. "You took it as a joke, as something I did to cheer you up. But it was different for me. That kiss is something I've been wanting to repeat many times since that day."

"You... You've wanted to kiss me?"

"Yes. I've wanted to kiss you, and hug you, and touch you and do all the things people in love do. Because I love you, Adele."

"You..."

"That's why your mum thinks we are lying. Because I can't hide my feelings for you anymore."

"I… you..." she mumbled.

"It's ok, don't worry. Since that first kiss I've known that you only see me as a friend, that you don't feel the same for me. And even though with everything that has been happening lately I've been getting my hopes up, thinking that maybe your feelings were changing, today you made it very clear that I was just fooling myself."

"Mase... Mase, look at me."

"I don't want you to see me like this."

"Look at me" Adele repeated, gently caressing his cheek until he moved his face to look at her. "You weren't fooling yourself" she said before kissing him.

The moment their lips touched, it was as if they had traveled back in time. As if they were again those two teenagers sitting under that same orange tree, Mason kissing her to make her feel better. Though this time, she was the one kissing him to make him feel better, to let him know that her feelings for him had changed, that she felt the same he did. 

And this time, their kiss wasn't an awkward or clumsy one. This time both of them knew what they were doing, and they wanted more of it. 

Without noticing it, Adele had moved and was now straddling him, Mason's hands moving up and down her thighs while they kept kissing as if they needed the other to breathe. 

"Addie" Mason gasped when she started to kiss his neck, his hands grabbing her butt and pulling her closer towards him. "Fuck, Addie" he grunted when she moved her hips against him before kissing him again.

Now they were doing it with even more passion, Mason's hands on her hips, helping her move them against him.

"Mase" she heard herself moaning, that sound making them both stop to catch their breaths. 

"Addie, what are we doing?" he asked, resting his forehead on hers.

"I'm not sure" she replied. "But I know I don't want to stop."

"Neither do I" Mason said, meeting her eyes.

"Should we go inside?"

"Your room or mine?" he chuckled.

"Yours is closer" she smiled, caressing his cheek one last time before getting up and running to his room. 

Once there, they were kissing again, and it didn't take them too long until they were just in their underwear, Adele pushing Mason against the bed and moving to be on top of him. 

"Addie..." he moaned when she started to move her hips against him once again, kissing him everywhere. 

"That feels good, doesn't it?" she said against his neck, the feeling making him gasp.

"So good. But it would feel even better if I was inside you.”

"Did you bring protection?"

"Always. It's in my bag in the bathroom."

"Good boy" she smirked before leaving the bed. "We already have enough with one fake baby."

[piracytheorist]

Spy x Family Code: White thoughts!

Alright, time to write down my thoughts about the film! I liked it a lot, and for this anime only it was a HUGE satisfactory dose after not having had anything new since December 🥲 there were a few parts that I found meh, and I will mention them here too, but overall I got a very positive view of it!

Related to this, my mom was in the next room where I was sitting watching the film, and when I finished and passed by to get some water, she asked me what film I watched that made me laugh so much. So I think that speaks for itself 😂

Anyway, on to the film!

Having seen the trailer where Twilight rips off the disguise of a woman with long, curly blonde hair, as soon as I saw her here I was like is that her? But then that guy appeared and I recognized his voice and, dare I say I was confused XD

Damn, isn't that past their rating? XD

And then the music started! STRIX theme with a new twist for the film!

I think by this point we've already shrugged away Twilight's ability to make disguises. It gets even crazier near the end, so it should be of no surprise that he just disguised himself as that woman. Lucky she happened to wear a choker, too, good cover for his Adam's apple.

The way they showed the woman wrapped in a blanket underneath the desk, though 😳 that's the kind of visual you'd use to show a character died. What am I supposed to infer from this, guys?!

Then we cut to Yor!

There's a review on letterboxd saying how easy the film is to watch and follow for someone who hasn't watched the original, and I'm happy to hear that because as someone who already knows these characters and their dynamics, it didn't feel like it dragged on too much on that.

Yor, ever being the sweetheart, will call a guy a traitorous scumbag yes but she will be kind as ever when she kills him 🥰

The way she dodged the bullets! Queen! And also a set up to later show her dodge all the ammunition thrown from the shooters and Type F!

This. Was. Amazing. I actually gasped out loud. The animators understood the assignment, 10/10.

Right after that, we see Loid reach his door, and for the first time we see him go to use keys. A few other times I remember anyone opening the door they just... opened it. You'd think an apartment where a spy and an assassin live would have better security! XD

I love how they kinda showed it like Yor was going to attack Loid, and then Loid just turned and went like "Oh hey beautiful wife, welcome home! :D" It must have looked funny for anyone who hasn't seen the anime/manga before XD

Yor wants to cook! Everybody hide!

That... is a horror of an omelet. Yor's cooking is always for the "congrats lil buddy that’s the worst anyone’s ever done it" meme. She does try, though, bless her heart.

Anya evades the horror. And Loid wants to make... peanut butter pizza???? Is that even a thing??? WITH MEAT ON TOP???

What does it say about this film that this isn't the weirdest thing to happen in it

TITLE CARD WITH THE THEME ENDING AND THE ORCHESTRA GOING WILD <3333

Damian, shut the fuck up

... I mean, with a mother like that... I'll give this to him XD

Did Anya call him an asshole? Serves him right, tbh XD

Knowing that the story can't veer a lot far from the anime/manga canon, I already knew Anya wouldn't earn a Stella in that competition. But it was a good set-up for the rest of the film to move on from.

Twilight read Henderson's lips through a window and through the latter's thick moustache, and lip reading is already hard to do accurately, if not nearly impossible. Boy's nuts. But I think it only prepared us for a fucking falcon to fly above him and throw him the message from WISE. Show-offs XD

A rare view of Berlint!

DAAAAMN the higher animation budget is really doing those characters such good favour 🥰

Bro actually read a book by flipping through it. Get outta town.

The idea of having another guy take over Operation Strix from Twilight feels a little shallow. It's already a very delicate and long-term operation, it feels that it wouldn't make sense to replace their best agent with just a dude just because said dude has connections.

Twilight meets with Nightfall outside, and Yor sees them across all those streets (I mean, she is an assassin with a deadly aim) and... she doesn't recognize Nightfall? Is this supposed to take place before Nightfall visits the Forger household?

I mean, at the current time in the anime, Yor is supposed to be over her fear of getting replaced, but I get why they retreated back a little, so they could explain the later scene of Loid taking her hand and reminding her of his vows.

Very conveniently, Yor's coworkers are chatting about cheating men, and Yor, being inexperienced with relationships, immediately believes everything, her suspicions even taking root with what she just saw.

Back home, Twilight thinks about how, since he's dismissed from Operation Strix, he'll have to move out, and the camera shows their happy family picture 🥺 he's not ready to admit his feelings to himself but the narrative is.

Making the dessert that's the favourite of the judge and in particular the one he grew up with feels kinda cheating, no? XD

Come on, Loid. A child filling her bag with toys does not deserve that murder glare 😂

That train looked a little too modern for the supposed 60s/70s aesthetic. I know Germany has some top trains (as does Japan) but like, still XD it's very different from the train we see on the very first episode when Twilight boards one for Berlint.

Lovely visuals, though!

I wonder if there's any system as to how Bond's powers work. He has the vision of Anya finding the suitcase and opening it... but that's creating a sort of paradox because without the vision coming to him and without Anya seeing it, it wouldn't have been made true. I mean, I get why it was put there, but still.

Again, the story needed a little backtracking in order for Yor's doubts to make sense. I'm not sure how much they contributed to the whole story, but at least there it was funny. The small awkward laugh she throws at the end before she exits their booth to go look for Anya was hilarious XD

Gremlin Anya is best Anya <3

LMAO at least she enjoyed the chocolate XD

The following part was intense! I found myself saying "Run Anya run!" even though I knew from trailers that they'd eventually catch her anyway.

So the microfilm hides intelligence about a research lab in Westalis. Hmm.

I think it was at this point I noticed that they had Anya react to people's thoughts way too little. I get that it can get repetitive but with her curiosity she would have tried to look for more information through the guys' thoughts.

"Chocolate thieves" is actually perfect to describe those two. They were conveniently - and hilariously - incompetent.

But it did get intense. It's always like that when a bad guy threatens to hurt, let alone kill, a child.

I love how Yor asked Anya to close her eyes while she was beating up the guys but then told her she can open them when they were down and fully expected her to believe her lie that they just passed out XD

Also, her snowman jgvllublftlulbj

Chekhov's military airplane! I didn't expect it would actually work by the end, though XD

I love the music in the restaurant. Poor Bond being left alone outside where it's snowing, though 🥲 at least they brought him food!

Yor notices that it's rare for Loid to wear turtlenecks, and that's actually true. Too bad, though, they fit him so nicely :)

I actually laughed out loud at the guys jumping on Yuri to stop him. They were prepared. They knew who they were dealing with XD

"Rubble and Bonds"... the chef is very wholesome but he literally named his restaurant after his trauma and like... dude. Therapy exists. And then he starts laying out his trauma thick while Twilight is sitting there like yup this doesn't affect me at all

I don't think he was prepared for that when he asked about the restaurant's name. I was kinda disappointed they showed the exact same footage of him as a kid from the first episode. I think they could have afforded making a few seconds of new footage of the same imagery. But maybe that's just my anime-only ass who has been waiting for a certain manga arc to be animated for nearly two years now 😶

Snidel appears! And he has the absolute nerve to just... steal the meremere plate from someone else's table. Perfect way to make us hate him.

And... I'm sorry. I have to say it. When Snidel challenges Loid to a game and the camera focuses on Loid... that zoom-in and fade to black was SO CRINGEY. Sorry XD

The music there was nice, though. I think I notice a tiny bit of James Bond music influence.

Fucking Snidel shifting the goalposts with the amounts of sugar. That's not being detailed, that's not explaining the rules of the game properly. They really wanted us to hate the guy.

Twilight looks really stricken by the fact that he lost. And we know it's not because of despair - since he immediately says they can have meremere the next day - and it's not because his pride was hurt... so you can't take it out of my mind that it was because he was disgusted by how a grown-ass man practically stole a piece of cake from a little child, and Twilight was unable to stop him.

But then XD Loid has the absolute gall to ask a chef for his recipe, and then reprimand Anya for calling him stingy. Like mah dude it was already a far-fetched request to have the guy give you the recipe XD

Twilight being totally not suspicious and bolting through the market to buy all the ingredients. Cause that's what normal people do.

The way Twilight tries to cheer Yor up and he only manages to make her feel worse never disappoints XD

Right, I forgot this film was released in December in Japan. It feels weird for it to have a winter-y, almost Christmas-y feeling while I have my A/C on XD

I like how Twilight actually cared enough to expose the guy at the shooting gallery, and advise him to run an honest business. You'd think this would be low on his priorities... but having a child will expand your sensitivities. It feels similar to how he encouraged Carroll Campbell into playing tennis more fairly and to depend on his own strengths.

And then he wonders why a little child has fun on a train ride XD

I... am not sure how I feel about Yor's outburst there. It feels directly inspired by the Disastrous Date, if not a copy of it, and I'm not sure it helps Yor's character develop in any way. I mean, again, I get that the film can't allow the characters to develop a lot since it can't veer from canon, but still, it felt a little forced just to give Yor more screentime and to have a very subtle twiyor tease.

Anya finding out about divorce through Becky's soap-opera filter, though XD

They feel too confident leaving Anya all alone (even if she's with Bond) in a strange town. I know they can keep an eye on her from the ferris wheel cabin, but still.

Now that's a character development moment you can have without veering from canon: having Yor feel guilty for allowing Anya to notice her dark mood, and then feeling happy that Anya pushed her and Loid to having a moment together to talk things out.

Also, beautiful visuals!

Twilight, best™ spy™ of Westalis™, being unable to read the room whenever his wife is involved.

MAH DUDE. THERE'S ONE THING TO DESCRIBE WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND THAT'S BEING TOO DIRECT

That's a phrase you don't wanna hear from your little kid, especially when you're fake married XD

Handler: Go and help Twilight. Nightfall: Yes ma'am! Handler: Not you. Nightfall: SENPAI WILL NOTICE ME SENPAI WILL NOTICE ME Handler: jfc

It was really sweet seeing Anya and Bond play, and then Yor joining in. That makes it more plausible that the film is set earlier on in the story, since it looks like Yor isn't used to playing with Anya.

No, really, what did that woman who was at Franky's kiosk want to ask him when she would come by with her friend??? 😳

One day the way Twilight abuses Franky's services will come bite him in the ass, I'm calling it now.

Yet another scene where character/relationship dynamic can happen without veering from canon: Loid comes back to the hotel and says he'll go out again, Anya says she wants to come too, and Loid tells her she has to stay in the hotel. Anya goes back to the bedroom dejected, but Yor reminds him it's a family trip and they're supposed to spend this time together, connecting that to her memories of Yuri being happy whenever he spent time with her.

And I think that speaks to another level of distance Twilight has kept from his emotions; he denies himself that he loves his family, but that also leads him to forget that his family won't like missing out on quality time with him.

I especially noticed his surprised reaction at Yor saying that being away from loved ones can make one feel lonely. I don't think Twilight has allowed himself to grasp just how lonely he's felt all these years, it was just the norm for him to have no-one. He's forgotten what it's like to have loved ones and to miss them when you don't get to spend enough time with them, and he's also forgotten that for most people, this is how everyday life is like. We love people, we like spending time with them, we miss them when we haven't seen them in a while. A master of disguises he may be, but this role forces him to face the thing he understands the least: human relationships.

And so, he realizes that Anya's motivation here wasn't petulance or restlessness. It was her need to have fun with him. He considered it easier to sneak around to find the liqueur if they weren't with him, but he failed to consider that casting them aside would actually impact them. Give yourself some credit, dude 🥺

Nightfall: I will surprise Twilight with my effectiveness!

Twilight when he sees her unexpectedly:

I did love however how he looked so sternly at her when they were outside. Like lady, first, bad timing, second, this is why Handler didn't want you to be the one to help Twilight XD

Once again, Bond's power works in a form of paradox. He saw the shop where the liqueur was, and Anya went there because she saw it. If she hadn't seen it, she wouldn't have gone, and Bond wouldn't have had the vision.

I love how the military guys get a rough sketch of Anya and go like "Nah no-one can actually look like this" XD

Anya must have swiped some dalcs as she ran off. That liqueur wasn't gonna be cheap!

Poor Bond!

Endo has surrounded Anya with two physically exceptional parents and a big strong dog to protect her, so it's hard to make a case of her getting kidnapped believable. Realistically, I think Bond would have fought harder to keep her safe, but to achieve the kidnapping the bad guys would have had to get more violent with him. That would make for a sadder scene and also take away from the humor of those guys' incompetence, so the most violence against an animal they could resort to was a conveniently falling beer can.

And thus, the "Anya Has to Poop" side plot starts! With the amount of fear she went through in those scenes, I'm surprised she didn't just... accidentally let go 😶

I just realized when Loid was checking the plane's radio they were also refuelling it. Again, kind of a surprise the whole system worked XD They were a little too chill about the fact that Anya was with the military, though? Maybe I got the wrong vibe off of their acting, lol.

The way that Yor decides at the last moment to join Loid and just... runs and jumps into a plane that's right on takeoff. Madwoman. I love her.

Meanwhile, at least Nightfall is funny XD

They really went on and made an entire sequence in a different animation style for a poop joke. Respect where it's due 👏

Someone: So how did you save world peace this time? Anya: I refused to take a shit.

The incompetent duo have a bedpan that's shaped like a duck and, funny thing... in Greek the word for "bedpan" can also be called, colloquially, with the same word that we use for "duck". So. There's that random connection I found funny XD

Twilight tries to ask for permission to land on the airship and they immediately turn their guns on him and damn, that must be terrifying.

And damn, again, that's a huge risk he took just to get Anya back. My man was prepared to do anything. And he walked out of the plane crashing into the airship without a single scratch like GET OUT OF HERE. I wanted my whump and I only got a single drip of blood near the end 😞 when will I have my whump.

And then Yor just... ran on the top of the airship, fully exposed to the freezing weather of not only outside but also a few hundred (thousand?) feet off the ground. My girl runs on hot steam. AND THEN SHE ALSO FUCKING TOOK HER COAT OFF.

Meanwhile, Anya finally finds a private moment to take a shit. And that marks the end of the wackiest plotline in this movie XD

Okay now, look. I can maybe imagine Twilight quickly making up a mask of Snidel's face from earlier in the day (though he wasn't shown to have any time to do that), and he somehow had it ready when the time came for their duel. But making a mask of that random military guy? Yeah, my suspension of disbelief is stronger for that than for freaking time travel XD

Yor also has her moment of going like "Excuse me, may I ask a question" and immediately getting guns aimed at her.

Damn. What the actual fuck is Type F even. At first I thought it was a full-on robot, but apparently it's a modified human? The fuck. Also. Just how many fucking bullets does he have???!

For real, though, Snidel isn't fucking around. He not only is fine with murdering a kid in cold blood, he also finds it entertaining to make her terrified as well. Like, even that guy from the Doggy Crisis arc said "Nothing personal, kid," when Keith commanded him to kill her.

And then Twilight overhears the incompetent dudes mention Anya... and mighty spy Twilight's emotions get the best of him and he beats up those guys for no other reason than getting back at them? More likely than you think.

Fuck, that scared me. That bullet was literally millimeters from piercing his brain. Cool visual, though, with his real hair popping from beneath the mask.

Anya worrying about her papa :(

Okay, I don't care about the logistics. This was fucking awesome.

AND THEN THIS???

10/10. They understood the assignment.

AND THEN THE OTHER THING???

QUEEN SHIT.

No, but really, their fight was going in circles because Type F has a shit ton of bullets and Yor has great stamina and ability to dodge bullets. She can't win with her strength, so she has to use her brain and her environment. AND SHE SLAYS 👏👏👏

My dude why are you still surprised 😭😭 what did you expect your kidnapped daughter to do once she saw you came to her rescue 😭 HUG YOUR DAUGHTER BACK I BEG 😭

Nah, I know he can't yet, this guy's got the emotional type of constipation. He'll get there.

So we'll never know what he thought about her sneaking out to get him the liqueur, and why that made her smile, eh? Okay 🥲

I love how Yor and Loid just both buy each other's lies. Oh yeah I just decided to jump on your plane while you were taking off, no biggie! Yeah this military ship was totally run by chocolate thieves! And also, I was flying part-time as a student :D

(I also love how high his voice went there. It's full-on "nice sweet Dr. Forger" voice XD)

And then :)

My crops are watered :)

With the action part over, I gotta say that they handled it all of it awesomely! I felt that the whole film was a little slow at first, but I didn't really mind. The climax was great, I got my whump, I got my fake family working together with all of them pretending that oh it was just chocolate thieves and not an actual threat of war breaking out.

My question is... didn't Anya just gulp the chocolate down?

... how did the microfilm get stuck in her teeth?

... you know what, never mind XD

Aw, Twilight got Handler a bottle of wine! And she actually looked thankful for it!

... was she the one who went in disguise to trap Depple into cheating on his wife??

*squealing*

Yor offering to help with the dessert and everyone going "Naaaaah you don't have to 😁"

Damian, shut the fuck up.

It is funny, however, how Anya can say one (1) thing and unintentionally leave him a blubbering mess. Girl is not even trying for that, lmao.

And then, another trip! Buddy who has the time and money--

Oh, wait. Yeah they're going on vacation on WISE budget lmao XD

It's kinda funny to see this with me having the Cruise arc as the "last" I saw of them, as an anime only, cause it was "trip to the ocean!" then "trip to the north!" and now it's "trip to the beach!"

Aw!

Meanwhile, after the credits...

Hang in there buddy. Your time will come to get Twilight back XD

Overall, definitely recommended, it did have its weak parts and its parts that you had to happily kick your logic out the window, but it was great fun, with awesome action, character depth, and even angsty parts that I adored. This will keep my anime-only ass satisfied for a little while, hopefully we also get news about Season 3 soon!

[jseobsky]

That spot will be mine.

Pairing ! bf!Seeun x gn!Reader Synopsis ! Seeun was tired of you having photocards of every idol but him on your phone, now that he was debuting he made it his mission to get you his own photocard. However, when you finally open the album, you don't pull him. Genre ! So fluff I can't, romance Warnings ! swearing, kissing, not proof-read, my humour- Wc ! 1.3k a/n ! Totally not based bcs today I finally bought the album and got Junmin while I was manifesting Seeun- HOWEVER JUNMIN LOOKED SAUR CUTE ON THE PHOTOCARD I CAN'T

Main masterlist !

After knowing my boyfriend was finally going to debut I had one thing in mind and one thing only: Collect his group’s photocards. Until now, I haven’t really collected any photocards even while having around 20 albums myself. I just kinda kept them in their album boxes and the usual one photocard that I kept in the back of my phone case. Seeun wasn’t thrilled about this, he took my photocard choices very seriously, telling me I should keep them in a safer manner or that I could not by any means in the entire world take my Enhypen’s Niki photocard everywhere I went. 

While he was still a trainee it seemed like he also had one goal in mind: Gain my phone case photocard spot. He tried to gift me Polaroids that he took and make me save them on my phone case. At first, I did have them on my phone, but after seeing an idea on Pinterest I couldn’t help myself; All the Polaroids went on the now giant pictures wall. He then started to hate Pinterest. Sure he said all those things jokingly, he knew how much I loved kpop and how much that wall of pictures meant to me. He loved seeing me happy, but he did hate when I got his first album. 

Seeun kept telling me how I could not, by any means, buy his album. Talking about how he was going to gift it to me. “You’re going to curse it.” He said. “You always cry about how you never get your biases unless I’m the one who gifted you the album. I’m not taking any chances.” It was hell waiting for it. I had been waiting for years until his debut, and now I had to wait even more until I could get the physical album? Unbelievable. Seeing all those unboxing videos, and all these people having more than one photocard inclusion while I, who wasn’t able to even pre-order because of Seeun, will only have one. I learned to get over it quickly, patience is a virtue… Fuck that. I don’t wanna wait anymore. It’s been years, decades, maybe even centuries since the album came out. I want that album. I need that album. 

What’s worse is that I didn’t realize with Seeun’s debut that he’ll be even busier. Maybe what I actually needed was Seeun, not his album. 

I’m lying around my living room. A kdrama playing on the tv, and the window is open while I feel really cold. Look, someone is lazy, okay? And the kdrama is so interesting as well… An open box of snacks next to me that I slowly reach out to, not taking my eyes off the tv. The scene was so intense that it was able to make me ignore the little click of the door until I hear someone shouting. “IT’S HERE!” I slowly turn my head around with my eyes wide open. Who the fuck? A wild Seeun appears. Like literally, ignore the bad pokemon reference, Seeun comes in running with a bag in his right hand and his phone in his left hand, which he’s waving. He has the biggest grin on his face while looking at me. I smiled too. Pausing the show while standing up, running towards Seeun going for a hug. Which I never received. Seeun moved to the window and closed it. “It’s really cold outside, you shouldn’t have your window opened, it’s literally about to rain.” He said. I tilt my head and shrug my shoulders while still smiling. “Meh that’s not important, come here” I ran towards him again, only for him to move to the couch, moving some items to the floor before placing a pizza-shaped box on the table. I glare at him. “Look I got it!! Aren’t you excited?!” Seeun says with, again, a really big smile. I try to contain a smile and jokingly I roll my eyes, turn around, and act petty. “I would be more excited if my boyfriend, who I haven’t seen since February, would hug me.” I try to look at him for a bit, and seeing that he now has a smirk on his face I turn my head around again. “Oh really?” He said teasingly. I turn around with a blank face. “No.” We stay looking at each other for some seconds before I start smiling again. I run to the side of the sofa he is sitting on and I jump on top of him. “I’ve missed you so much,” I say while hugging him tightly. He moves my head from being buried in his neck to being in front of him. His expression mirrors mines, a big, BIG smile, and eyes with adoration filled in them. He squishes my face. “I missed you too, so much” Seeun turns his face to look at the box on the table behind me. He sits me on his lap as he sits up, leans forward with a hand on my back to not make me fall, and grabs the box off the table. 

“I got you this,” He says, “hope you like it” I shake my hands and grab the box out of his hands. “I’m just saying, with my luck you’ll get my photocard so enjoy. I did one on this version with that pose you showed me. I’m manifesting specifically that one for you.” Seeun looks at me proudly. I nod fast and start to rip off the plastic that wraps the album. Seeun laughs softly at my poor attempt to rip the plastic off. “Look,” I start saying, “these things are made by the devil himself, don’t laugh at my poor persona because I can’t open the album” I stop my attempt while glaring at him. “Also, I’ve seen you trying to open albums before, and you aren’t a god at opening albums yourself” Finally being able to open the album I grab the most important part of the album. The cd. I’m joking, I grab the inclusions knowing that the part that Seeun mostly wanted to see. I rip one side of the envelope the inclusions were in and slowly turn my head to look at my boyfriend. Fuck, he has his face way too close. Seeun got closer in anticipation of the grand reveal. He nods encouraging. 

I pull out the postcard first, and I smile. “Look I got the baby!” I laugh, Seeun smiles a bit too. “Could’ve been better but I guess a Yechan postcard isn’t the worse,” He says, “now the most important thing, please” I nod. Seeun gets even closer and places his head on my shoulder. I pull the single photo card, which is turned around. I start talking. “You know, just remember it’s okay if I don’t pull your photocard because at the end of the day I-” “Just look at it” Seeun whines. I turn the photocard around.

I feel Seeun drop his whole weight into the sofa’s back, letting out a sigh. Here we go. “I just don’t get it. Why Minjae, why him? Like. If it was… Okay no. I wouldn’t have been happy with anyone. But still!! Why him??” Seeun fake cried. “I mean,” I start talking. “You’re right, you do always pull my biases” Seeun stopped his actions and looked at me with a dead face. He then went to push me off. “Okay no, no, no, wait, no, I’m sorry, I’m joking! You’re my only one!” I laugh, and he stops trying to push me off and goes back to pouting. I lay fully on top of him. I start kissing his face. “I. Promise. You. Are. My. Bias.” He smiles. “Also, I bought an album the other day and I pulled you” I showed him the back of my phone, where a big smiling Seeun was looking back at him. He dropped his mouth and looked at me. “I couldn’t contain myself I’m sorry-” Seeun kissed me. 

[yelenasdiary]

New Friend Request

Pairing: Gamer! Kate Bishop x Reader

Summary: After posting on a subreddit looking for people to play a new game with, you received a new friend request.  

| Comfort? | 0.8K | No Warnings | 

AC: Here is something a little different to my usual works! I hope you enjoy this, I found it pretty fun to write!

It was Friday night, you had a weekend off from work and had planned to sit down with plenty of snacks and binge play a new video game you just treated yourself too. The only downside was that all your friends that you played video games with were either busy this weekend or had no interest in playing the new game you'd been waiting so long to play.

With a sigh and nerves kicking around in your stomach you decide to post on a subreddit asking if anybody else would like somebody to play with over the weekend. It wasn't something you'd done before but you liked playing games with friends more than playing solo.

Hours had past and your phone was left dry, not a single notification from anybody reacting to your post. Another sigh left your body as you tossed your phone to the side and decided to turn your PS4 off.

*DING*

(LuckyArrow has sent a friend request)

The notification stared at you deeply as the feeling of excitement and relief soon filled you. You punched in your passcode and quickly accepted the strangers friend request.

LuckyArrow: Hey! are you still looking for somebody to play Dying Light 2 with? I saw your post on reddit! ☺️

yourusername: Hey, I am! I just thought the game and none of my friends want to play it with me 😩

LuckyArrow: agh! that sucks! I have a friend, Yelena, she doesn't play video games much and refuses to play with me! If you want, I'd love to play it with you. Have you played the first one?

yourusername: That would be great! Thanks! I'm assuming your user is LuckyArrow on PSN aswell? I have played the first, have you? Oh! btw, I'm Y/n!

LuckyArrow: Sure is! You have a cute name! I'm Kate, are you from New York?

yourusername: Oh wow! 😅 Don't take this the wrong way but I wasn't expecting you to be a girl! I actually just moved to NYC! Are you also from here?

LuckyArrow: You'd be surprised how many of us female gamers are out here ☺️ Where did you move from? if you don't mind me asking

yourusername: Just a small town that was hella boring! hence why I got into video games haha!

LuckyArrows: I hope you don't mind, I had a look at some of the game you play! You have good taste, how far are you into the story of Dying Light?

yourusername: Thanks! & not very far, I don't really like playing games solo most of the time. I've completed the first couple of missions though so I'm able to play co-op.

LuckyArrows: Awesome! Well, I have plenty of time tonight if you'd like to play now? If not, just let me know when you're free and we'll work something out ☺️

yourusername: Actually, I'm free all weekend so now would be great! Do you wanna play on my save or we can start one on your game? Whatever works ☺️

LuckyArrow: I've already completed it, let's just do a save on your game! Send me an invite x

LuckyArrow: Sorry about the x!!!! I'm just used to sending it to friends 😅😅

yourusername: Don't stress! it's okay ☺️ I'll send you an invite rn!

Friday night soon faded into the early hours of Saturday morning, plenty of laughs and jokes were made between you and your new friend, Kate. You learnt a lot about her, you felt comfortable with her even though she technically is still a stranger online, you both planned to meet for pizza for lunch.

Who knew that a simple post online would lead to you making a new friend.

2 months later

LuckyArrow: Hey! you free this weekend? sorry I couldn't play last weekend, I had a mission...I missed you though! 💜

yourusername: Hey!! Don't stress it, you get to actually kick some bad guys butts! it's pretty cool! I am free this weekend, I took work off, I need a break anyways. I missed you too, did your mission go well?

LuckyArrow: Meh, it was a pain (literally) but one less menace on the streets to deal with now! 💪🏼, I actually wanted to ask if you'd like to come over...I can order pizza and we can play video games or something, whatever you like! 😅

yourusername: Of course! it'll be so fun! Are you okay though? you seem a little off? x

LuckyArrow: I'm Fine ☺️ wanna come over Friday?

yourusername: Lock it in! Friday, date night haha!

LuckyArrow: Haha...😅

yourusername: Are you sure you're okay?

LuckyArrow: I'm not good this...but, I'm not asking you to just come over as a friend..😅

yourusername: Kate, are you asking me out on a date?

LuckyArrow: I am...we don't have to do something so causal, in fact I'd like to take you out on a real date but I don't want to scare you off or make things awkward between us..

yourusername: Oh thank god! Honeslty, I'm so glad you asked because I've really wanted to ask you out but I also didn't want to ruin anything

LuckyArrow: Well now that makes me feel a lot better! How about I pick you up at 6pm on Friday?

yourusername: it's a date! x

Taglist: @red1culous | @bentleywolf29 | @kiwiana145  | @lissaaaa145 | @high--power | @parkerdaramitzzzz | @mmmmokdok |  @wackymcstupid | @kiwiana145  | @valiantmugcowboyscissors | @shin-conan-kun | @nattyolw | @ripofflizzie | @goofy-goonie | @makegoodchoices | @musicinourlips | @apollo2907 | @marvelfan98 | @wandaroman0ff | @dumb-fawkin-bitch | @lovelyy-moonlight | @santana1437 | @fluffyblanketgecko | @inluvwithfictionalwomen | @jaymieflorissssssss | @tita001 | @youralphawolf72 | @natashamaximoff69 | @a-dorkier-book-keeper | @hehehehannahthings | @blue-serendipityy | @secrettoallofyou | @romantic-slaps-on-the-asss | @marvel-fan-2021 | @mmmmokdok | @riveramorylunar | @ripofflizzie | @scarsw1fe | @toldthatdevil | @itsmv3 | @katiemay-025 | 

[xaviers-student-union]

Xavier Student paper: Issue #1

Beloved Xaviers professor returns from Alaskan Sabbatical.

As of this Wednesday, Professor Summers [A.K.A Cylcops] has returned from Alaska where he took his impromptu sabbatical. We'd like to ask that everyone welcome him back, and treat him kindly! Professor summers does a lot of work to keep us all safe and healthy afterall.

And a big round of applause to the other staff members for keeping everything in order until his return! Well done! We didn't know you had it in you!

Extraterrestrial Cultural Exchange Club holding an event

Next weekend, the ECEC will be hosting an event in their club room; which is the larger meeting room off of the library. This event will be about educating on and sharing the culture of several alien cultures that have made contact with earth.

Featuring three food stalls, a few crafts stalls and even some rare alien artefacts that were legally acquired. They have assured us these products were all acquired legally. So. We'll see.

Strange man seen sneaking into the institute- oh wait never-mind it's just Magneto. [Again]

The XSU have recieved multiple reports, and photographic evidence of Magneto sneaking his way into the institute in order to play chess with our very own professor Charles Francis Xavier.

While this in itself is a harmless act, we'd like to remind everyone that Magneto is in fact a terrorist! And thus, to compensate Professor X should buy us all ice cream! At least. That's what I think

Study groups meeting again

With the school year starting back up in full swing, our study groups are once again meeting. If you're interested in signing up for a particular group, then the student lounge should have the listed times and clubroom to go to.

Please make sure that you attend the right room at the right time. Unlike Deanne who spent 3 hours in the Economics study group, before she realised it wasn't Biology. Lmao.

Rumours of a pizza party spread

According to Semi-reliable sources, everyone's favourite ...unofficial? Official? Counselor Nod and everyone's favourite Alien postman Pyxis are going to be throwing a pizza party for us!

I hope this isn't just a rumour because omg I want Pizza. I've had nothing but soup and tea for like. A week. Oh wait. I guess the newspaper shouldn't be...a stream of thought.

Meh. That's a problem for future molly.

[ @totally-not-a-mutant , @pyxis-deliveryservices ]

Weekly Recap:

Monday: Aranza was seen talking with villian Sabertooth. And giving him an origami frog. Unsure on if this is a friendship in the making...or if she's just nice to everyone.

Tuesday: I don't remember I was asleep

Wednesday: Campuses resident [homeless???] Vigilante found...three cats. [ @reapers-graveyard ]

Thursday: I forgot : (

Friday: Molly was officially cleared from bedrest, and will be resuming activity as the president of the XSU

Crossword:

Author: Molly

[etherealyoungk]

bf!seventeen scenarios

seungcheol: seungcheol knowing a bit shy and aren't really the one to initiate skinship. so when you do, it's because you're in a meh mood and you're just feeling real really down, tired and shitty. he's surprised by the way you instantly hook your arm around him as you sit on the couch next to him, leaning all your weight against him as you nuzzle your face in his shoulder and ask him what he's doing. he'll not say anything because he doesn't want you to get self-conscious about it (and he secretly loves it) he will gently ask you about your day because he knows you do this when you've had a bad or tiring day. you wouldn't really say anything at first, just an "it was okay i guess. kinda tiring", and he'll nod slowly. he would slowly put his arm around you and pull you closer and when you gladly snuggle closer into him, he'll smile softly to himself because he loves how you trust him like this.

tw: mentions of food

mingyu: you're sitting in bed as you sulk and you're just craving all the carbs - pizza, chips, fries, ice cream but you didn't wanna give into all your cravings. it wasn't until dinnertime that you were really starting to crave a grilled cheese sandwich. so you wander into the kitchen and get out all the needed ingridents, only to open the firdge and find that you've run out of cheese. and you close the door in a huff. just then the beeps of the door play and mingyu enters and walks into the house to see you tearing up. "baby whats wrong", he's asking, running to you. you shake your head, embrassed to tell him that all your tears were because of a slice of cheese. "nothing", you choke out as he wipes the tear that rolls down your cheek. "it's stupid", you say. "it's not stupid and i know you're on your period love so tell me. are you in pain?", he asks. "no. im okay...i just wanted a grilled cheese sandwich but there was no cheese", you finally tell him softly. he corners of his slips lift at this information as he pecks your cheek. "i'll go get some right now and make you the best grilled cheese ever hm", he says.

"really?". "of course love. anything else you want?", you shake your head saying no but mingyu knows you all to well. he'll get some chips/snacks and ice cream for you too. when you see the extra goodies, you're so happy, opening the bag of chips as mingyu has you seated on the counter beside you as he makes you your sandwich. you thank him before finally eating, content. mingyu would just be full and happy from seeing you eating so well.

hoshi: you had the habit of saying 'i love you' to your parents or close friends before you ended the call and it was something that came naturally to you. but when one day you say i love you to hoshi on the video call, he freezes, wondering if he heard right. you don't even realize you've said those three little words to him until he asks you to repeat what you said. "huh? i said i love..you...oh", you say realization hitting you. "you love me?", he asks after a beat of silence. "of course i..love you", you say, stumbling upon those three words again. "i love you hoshi", you say again, confidently, but inside you're screaming and kicking your feet in the air and you roll around your bed. but the line is silent and you look up to see hoshi breaking out in the goofiest grin. "i love you too" he says and you can hear the adoration in his voice when he says it, as he smiles back at you, making your heart swell. after that day, he would always say i love you before ending the call &lt;3

seungkwan: you saw this paper flower bouquet video and now you were determined to make one. you found some origami paper and followed the video, brows furrowed in concentration as you made each flower for the bouquet, taking your time because you didn't want to mess up. when seungkwan comes home that night, you're all smiley and grinning and he's like "okay what happened". "what nothing happened babe", you say. "then why are so smiley tonight hm", he asks as he steps closer. you move your hands from which you were hiding behind you and present him with the paper bouquet. "i made this for you", you say as you watch his reaction. he looks at it carefully before a smile forms on his face. "that's so cute", he says, taking the bouquet from your hands and moving forward to peck your cheek . he'll keep that paper bouquet close to him all the time.

[fandom-junk-drawer]

The Witcher Headcanon (Modern Au) - Error 404 Brain Not Found: Bonus Scene - Part 15

It started with Jaskier laughing at Yennefer sneezing her mouth full of salad on the kitchen table while he was in the middle of eating. A few bits of his ham and cheese sandwich tumbled out of his mouth, landing in his glass of tea. "F**khh--!"

"Ha!" Yennefer laughed, "That's what you get!"

Jaskier opened his mouth and showed Yennefer the rest of his chewed up sandwich just to be childish. It fell into his glass.

"Godsd*mmit!" He snarled vehemently as Yennefer cackled.

Geralt took the glass, stirred the mess with the straw, then handed it back to Jaskier and said, "I dare you to drink it!"

Jaskier hesitated for a second. He'd eaten worse. H*ll, he'd licked a gas station toilet seat once! This was nothing! It was just tea and some wet bread. He drank the soggy mess.

"Meh," he said with a shrug. "Kind of bland, actually."

Geralt took the glass and sniffed the little bit of sludge left at the bottom, then drank it. "I'd give it a 2 out of 10."

Jaskier took the glass back and poured in a little milk, added a handful of crumbled up crisps, a spoonful of mustard, and a splash of orange juice.

And unspoken contest had just begun. Yennefer watched mutely as Jaskier drank half the concoction, then passed the other half to Geralt. They both made faces and gave their opinions on the taste.

"That tastes like a f**ked up Dreamsicle!" Jaskier announced, making a face. Geralt gagging slightly on the crisp mush, nodded his agreement.

The glass was rinsed out, and this time, a soda was poured into it. Geralt added a handful of M&Ms, a piece of leftover fried fish from last night's dinner, mayonnaise, and a scoop of pineapple pieces into the blender. This was then poured into the glass of soda.

Geralt and Jaskier each drank some.

"EEaaaUUGGGHHHH!"

"HhhUURRRGhhh!"

"You're both morons!" Yennefer said, laughing at the faces they were making as they tried to get the taste out of their mouths.

The next 'drink' consisted of spaghetti, grape juice, Lucky Charms, soy sauce, and a Snickers bar. The drink was divided and then consumed. It was chunky, and Geralt was having a little trouble getting it down. He took a breath, and sucked it down in one go.

Jaskier was trying to drink his portion as fast as he could, trying not to think too much about the chunky bits. Yennefer was holding her breath when he gagged and she saw his cheeks puff up before he swallowed heavily with a shudder.

"That tasted horrid!" He said weakly.

"It wasn't that bad," Geralt claimed.

"Bullsh*t, I saw you gag, too! And you cheated! You did that guzzling trick, so of course you didn't really taste it!"

Uh-oh, they were arguing. Yennefer hoped that maybe this whole stupid game was going to end. Unfortunately no, it was not over yet. Her boys were dumber than she'd given them credit for.

"Okay," Geralt said, "Let's just blend them up really well, and drink them with straws."

"How about we each make one and split them?"

"Hm. Good idea!"

Jaskier's creation included broccoli, bacon grease, lemon juice, half a slice of supreme pizza, peanut butter crackers, half a bottle of A** Reaper Hot Sauce, and some crumbled up chocolate cake.

Geralt's mixture contained milk, raw eggs, some kind of powdered fruit-flavored drink mix, mustard, breakfast sausage, and two sardines.

"You're going to get sick!" Yennefer warned as she watched Geralt spoon a heaping mound of chili paste into the blender.

Geralt would probably just get a mild stomach ache, but Jaskier with his acid reflux? Oh, he was going to be hurting.

"Hm!" Geralt grunted dismissively

She tried one more time to be the voice of reason as the two morons divided the Horror Cocktails between them.

"Jaskier, babe, you probably shouldn't drink that. It's going aggravate your acid reflux. Remember what happened with the Firecracker shrimp--!"

"Hush, witch, this is man business!"

"Fine, give yourselves the sh*ts, "

"Where are you going?"

"To the back yard to dig the hole I'm going to bury your stupid a** in."

Jaskier stuck his tongue out at her while simultaneously giving her the finger as she left.

"Mine first!" Jaskier said, pouring half the slurry he'd made into two glasses. He added a straw to each, then pushed one glass over to Geralt. They clinked their glasses together, and seconds later, Geralt and Jaskier were sucking down the liquefied horror.

Their exclamations of revulsion could be heard all the way to Yennefer's bedroom. They were quickly followed by the sounds of two men who were convinced their tongues were on fire.

I'm living with dumba**es. Yennefer thought to herself as she listened to them drink the sludge Geralt had made, then curse and blow and pant and make gargling noises as they chugged milk to kill the burn.

She could picture it so clearly. Jaskier and Geralt dancing around the kitchen, swearing and panting. They would be huffing long breaths in through their mouths to cool the burning sensation. Their lips would be on fire.

Geralt had heard somewhere that hair absorbed the oils that caused the burning, so they would both be rubbing handfuls of Geralt's hair on their mouths and tongues.

The noises died down after a few minutes, and Yennefer went back to her book. Her peace was disrupted about an hour later by the sounds of two jacka**es experiencing stomach issues. Geralt was in the upstairs bathroom, and Jaskier was in the downstairs, both of them sh*tting what felt like liquid fire.

When the smell began seeping out into the rest of the house, Yennefer opened a few windows and shoved some towels into the gaps under the bathroom doors. She felt only a tiny bit bad about trapping her boys in there with the horrible stench, but hey, natural consequences.

Geralt was confused and mortified as he sat on the toilet in an expanding miasma that was making him gag. He was a Witcher, and he wasn't supposed to have problems like this! F**k, he could eat roadkill, or eat out of the garbage and be fine! Witchers were made to survive on anything, they weren't supposed to get the sh*ts from a little mixed up food! His bowels cramped painfully...

Jaskier was shaking on the downstairs toilet. His stomach and his a**hole were aflame. Oh gods, this was worse than the Firecracker Shrimp incident! The heartburn, the acid in the back of his throat, the fire in his guts... This was Hell. He was in Hell. There was no other place he could be. It was pain and misery, and was that brimstone he smelled? Phew! That was rancid! Oh, sh*t, he was drooling...

Geralt: *unintelligeble cursing*

Jaskier: *barfing and sh*tting simultaneously*

Geralt: *terrifying explosive noises*

Jaskier: My a**hole's on fire!

Yennefer did the only thing she could think of to help in the situation. She cranked the volume of the stereo up, and played "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash.

Howls of outrage and distressed digestive noises rang out from the bathrooms.

[joeseventies]

RTC characters as quotes my friends and i have said

Mischa: "Go get your ears hear-ed."

Constance: "Today I got out of my mom's car and I fell and I said 'weeee' before I fell."  

Penny: "And they sit in the windowsill and just stay completely still and they stare."

Ricky: "How giant… is the Uno."

Noel: "Meh." Ocean: "Meh? What does that mean?" Noel: "Its like shrugging, but with my voice."

Penny: "If I had a nickel for everytime I swallowed a nickel, I'd have exactly one nickel."

Ricky: "Everytime a phone rings, nitrogen gets its wings."

Mischa: "Too fast for the eye movement."

Constance: "I think that's legit the flavor." Ocean: "Flavor? Do you EAT your handsanitizer?" Penny: "I do."

Constance: "Dont threaten me about my socks! You almost gave me a heart attack!"

Ricky: "Careful there J.D." Mischa: "Who's that?" Ricky: "You dont know who J.D. is?" Mischa: "Isn't he from Warrior Cats?"

Noel: "You have the IQ of soft toast."

Penny: "I'm not a criminal, I'm just a drug dealer."

Mischa: "If I'm an idiot, then you're a ghost."

Constance: "You're not stinky."

Noel: "He’s like a very Italian pepperoni pizza. But british."

Ricky: "I'm shoving my gay up my pants."

Mischa: "Everybody gangsta till they tongue starts feeling weird."

Ricky: "Imma great mafia talk. Meow shmeow."

Penny: "3 people voted. God is dead."

Ricky: "Homosexual bad grr"

Noel: "I am not fucking watching Glee."

Ricky: "Remember: When fire strikes… Gay out and slay out!"

Noel: "They're still gnomes, I don't care if they're gay."

Ricky: "Happy Birthday, here's my AIDS."

Constance: "Chocolate MILF? I like women."

Ocean: "What's under my eyes? That's right. Abstinence."

Mischa: "I will only shake my ass for the POPE!!"

Ricky: "Run me over with your car, oh baby."

Ocean: "Give me your paper, you infertile gold digger."

Noel: "You're the one staring at my donut like a pedophile staring at a playground."

Penny: "Its not vandalism if it's fun."

Mischa: "Do you wanna check out my ass? For one second?"

Constance: "Straight people can be kinky too."

Ocean: "I'm literally a lobster. Lobsters don't have airpods."

Ricky: "Another day, another slay."

Mischa: "Don’t pull up on me. I'll pull up on your mouth."

Penny: "I know where your heart is."

Ocean: "You want my life to be miserable because you won't give me a penny?"

Penny: "I can feel every fiber in your body."

Noel: "Do as I say, not as I say."

Penny: "Does your fish want to paint? Woop woop woop."

Ricky: "Do you guys like my ring? Just kidding it's a pink monkey."

Mischa: getting choked "That was good form."

Ocean: "Let me put my hand in your pocket and show you I'm not gay."

Penny: "I always make people look away. Whether it be with my face or my actions."

Constance: "Little donuts on my math paper make me anxious."

Penny: "I've been craving water since 2nd grade."

Ocean: "Turn on your brains. Turn on your ears. Cause it sounds like they're not on."

Penny: "So health or religion?" Ricky: "Communism."

Mischa: "They word in such a way that words should not or should word."

Mischa: “Wait Stuart Little is Shakespeare?”

Noel: "You know how much I'd kill myself??!??!"

Penny: "Yep that's some high quality cocaine."

Noel: "Youre pissing me off." Ocean: "You're pissing me on."

Ocean: "You're gonna end up on an episode of forensic files."

[only-by-the-stars]

TotK is so frustrating because there are genuinely several things I would love to incorporate into fics (mostly items, but also some NPCs and a handful of concepts and little areas), but Unfortunately the Plot. if it was just mediocre, that'd be one thing, but it's so disconnected from BOTW and so disjointed from itself that I'm at a loss for how I'd even begin to salvage it without doing something else that barely resembles it. at that point I might as well come up with my own plot, you know?

what I'm gonna end up doing is just... taking all those little scraps and working them into various AUs. like the Adventure Time one, for instance. that one's the most ripe, I think, for a lot of this.

hmm. gonna make a list, I think, under a cut.

first of all, let's not lie to ourselves: 'secret passageway under the castle that contains long-concealed/sealed Horrors' is a banger of a concept. unfortunately. unfortunately this was not executed as well as it could've been. I would love to do something neat with this sometime. I think it would fit especially well in the AT AU as stated. perhaps even with a take on those nuclear warnings.

Penn was a genuinely entertaining new NPC and I enjoyed the Lucky Clover Gazette chain of sidequests for the most part. like, could've done without the stuff setting up Zelda as being omni-talented and so super special (it really flattens her character, you know? such amateurish writing), but the concept of investigating rumors for a newspaper was fun. also the All-Clucking Cucco one was hilarious.

the Stable Trotters were so charming! I really liked this sidequest chain too.

the Stormwind Ark was actually kinda cool too, gave me Skies of Arcadia vibes. I wonder if I could do anything with it...

I want to stress, before I go any further, that if you've read or are planning to read my fic Song of a Champion... Yunobo using the Boulder Breaker and Riju using scimitars are things I had planned before the trailer revealing this was a thing in TotK. it is yet another entertaining instance of me predicting/guessing things correctly. xD

if I ever do anything with a version of the Depths, they're gonna have more, well, depth. they should've had settlements, or at least the ruins of them, or... something, you know? love the concept, meh on the execution. :/

same with the sky islands. and the explanation for the Great Sky Island in that one sidequest there was... really not satisfying, sadly. deffo something I could toy with and improve on.

Hyrulean pizza. 'nuff said. I applaud wholeheartedly the decision to give us cheese and tomatoes and let us make one of the greatest culinary creations known to mankind.

I'm iffy on the mushroom fashion/additions to Hateno, but I like the idea of Cece opening a shop in Hateno and selling some of those new outfits I like. I especially liked the sets based on the three dragons, this would be a neat way to get them on Link in that SoaC follow-up I wanna do. especially because Mipha NEEDS to see him in the slutty ones

if I ever do a version of the episode Wizards Only, Fools for the AT AU, the Depths outfit would make a neat disguise to get Link in.

obviously I plan to have AT Link lose his arm. obviously.

the wells and caves were pretty fun. though I do wish there'd been something genuinely creepy at the bottom of at least one well...

the Desert Rift is something that I would love to put into the desert area in the AT AU, it has tons of potential. I definitely have Ideas.

I really want to have Mipha and Link go to the salt spa in Lurelin as a couples' thing. it's a small thing, but I think it'd be cute.

I do actually enjoy weapon fusion and I think those magic rods/staves in particular would be a neat addition to some AUs.

almost every enemy was a great addition to the roster (I say almost because THOSE ARE NOT PROPER GIBDOS I AM STILL MAD ABOUT THIS). hopefully the next game will have even more things to fight (I especially want ReDeads and ACTUAL Poes back).

speaking of Poes, I just. sigh. so many interesting things that could've been done there, that just... weren't. at bare minimum, if they were adamant about making them a form of currency, it would've been more fun to bring back the Poe Collector than have those statues. I want to work him into the AT AU (and I have ideas that kinda meld how Poes worked in past games with this one, I just need to sit and nail them down).

back on foodstuffs, I liked all the new ingredients. I already worked golden apples into Under a Strange Moon, and I'd love to find uses for the elemental fruits somewhere too. stambulbs and sundelions are neat too, as are the new pumpkin, the oil, and the mushroom and fish that make you glow.

on the less edible side, puffshrooms and especially muddle buds were a LOT of fun to play with.

on the "dubiously edible" side (because you can turn these into elixirs but not straight up FOOD), I really like the design of the deep fireflies. the sticky frogs and lizards were also really handy!

brightbloom seeds/flowers could be neat to use too...

that's all I can think of for now, but I'm sure I'm forgetting something

[howl-fantasies]

Hey! It’s me again, after a while; I was wondering )if your requests were open) if I could request a oneshot about (Gotham) Edward Nygma alongside any other Gotham charecter, who have a very pristine and classy significant other who they work alongside, and one day said S/O is sat in their apartment (or place of residence) with their hair in rollers, with a face mask on, eating some sort of fast food watching, some reality TV show like ‘Say yes to the dress’ and is acting very different to their usual somewhat glamorous self.

I thought of this a while ago as I have recently been able to relax as my uni work load has been put on hold for the summer holidays! Woo Hoo! Anyway, I appreciate your work and Ishiguro do not wish to complete this request that is absolutely fine.

- Elsie x

Hello there dearie!

Oh my lord, I absolutely love the concept! Gotham's men NEED to learn nobody never wake up with a full makeup on and don't turn on themselves like the Sims when they jump out of bed to look perfect. I had so much fun imagining our guys having a mental breakdown seeing their S/O "off" mode.

So, here it is :

GOTHAM VILLAIN WALKING ON THEIR S/O WHEN THEY ARE ON THEIR "OFF" MODE

EDWARD NYGMA / THE RIDDLER

Edward was having a "meh" day. One of those during which nothing seems to surprise / interest him. It happens, you know, him being a genius and all, he sometimes finds himself being bored. But you, his stunning, witty, classy partner would know how to make his day better, he knows it.

Unsuspecting, he used the spare key you gave him a month ago and walked inside of your apartment, ready to see his day brightened by the simple view of your impeccable self. How lucky of a man he was.

"Dear?" He would call when you weren't here to greet him like you usually did. He sent you a text before coming, he was certain.

He heard the noise of your TV, pretty loud, so it was why you didn't answer. Was it also why you didn't read his text? Strange, he pictured you more like the kind of person to be lost in a book or something. But that was ok, he also had his times when he needed to put the thing on, to hear the news about him, for instance. Though, the high pitched female voices started to make him doubt you were watching Gotham News.

Nevermind, he followed the voices to your living room and brutally stopped when he saw the back of your head. What was the bright pink fluffy thing in your hair?! He had to open his mouth when he hear you. "Are you kidding me, look at you Meredith?! You look like a freaking pièce montée with that!" Did you hurt your mouth or something, you sounded like something was stuck inside of it (not something under 18 here, everybody keep calm please!)

"My love?" He asked.

"Oh fuckity Shitty Fuck!" You screamed, making one hell of a jump. Now on your feet, you were facing him, absolutely horrified.

You decided you needed to let your "on" mode cool down a bit today and since no robbery nor abduction were on your calendar, you wanted a little "off" time mode only for you.

Off time, meaning here: putting a bluish moisturising mask on your face, putting your favorite pink rabbit ears headband, your fluffy pajamas and slippers. You ordered a pizza earlier with soda and finally decided to watch your favorite trashy tv show. And here you were. Gawking like an idiot in front of your boyfriend, who looked like he was considering calling a priest to exorcise you or something.

"Ok, Ed. Please don't panic." You said, making an appeasing gesture with your hands.

"Don't panic?! Don't p-... Dear, what happened?! Did you encountered Jerome and he forced you in a weird disguise? Or am I hallucinating?!" He squeaked suddenly reaching for his wrist to check his own pulse.

Ok, he was totally panicking... "Ed..." You called again with a sigh, feeling your hand brush against your dry mask on your forehead. "Dear, it's not an attack or a prank or anything. I'm just taking a little time for myself, like... pampering, see what i'm talking about?."

Hearing your resigned voice and the little bit of annoyance in it, he stopped his frantic health check. Ok Eddie, time to think like a grown man.

Please make some space for Mister Riddler in his inner mental theater. Y/N is a human being, pretty much like him. A beautiful human being with a sumptuous as-... *Sorry Ed had to mentally punch him to keep him on track.* Ahem, like he was thinking before being brutally interrupted, Y/N is a human. Like him they have morning hair, don't always wear makeup nor impeccable clothes, and they must have to work hard to keep their skin so smooth and beautiful and...

"Ed?!" Now you are the one looking for his pulse. When you caught his gaze, you find this little light, you know, the one meaning someone FINALLY had put two and two together DUH.

"Y/N, I got it." He said, putting his hands on your shoulders and taking a long inspiration. "Of course i did. I'm a genius. Pampering, taking a self-care day, feel comfy and all..." But he suddenly turned you around to face the TV, "I got everything, except this! I mean, what the hell is this?!" He had to point the tv with his index for good measure.

He never watched "say yes to the dress." Of course he hasn't. Poor dude was too busy cracking puzzles and riddles. He's pretty confused here. You will have to explain how in hell this trashy thing is helping you feel relaxed.

Or don't, after all, it could be a pretty good opportunity to explain your lover you both have your hobbies and have to respect it ;).

Would totally be ok with you taking care of his skin and his nails. And the man would be super proud of it let me tell you. If someone messed with his fresh manucure, he would immediately turn to you / call you and apologize. "I'm afraid, we'll have to plan another self-care session my dear. Sooner than expected". (Relationship goal here!)

--

OSWALD COBBLEPOT / THE PENGUIN

Oswald being Oswald, he would HAVE to walk on you on one of his worst days.

His mood was terrible and he seriously was in need of a good hug, a good vent and probably his mother “special bad days” tea. 

Since you moved in with him a few weeks ago, his first words to poor Olga when he went through the main doors were “WHERE IS Y/N?!” of course he had to yell even if the woman was not even a meter from him, taking his coat, hat and umbrella with a calm we all have to acknowledge. The maid will simply point in direction of the living room, keeping her smirk well hidden. Poor boy is up for a good and well deserved shock in here. 

Oswald would limp in a rush to you, grumbling like an old man all along, and couldn’t wait to have you listen about his terrible day and the bunch of idiots he had to deal with. 

“What the hell happened?!” He heard you scream in outrage when he was a few steps away from your position. He felt a smile growing on his face. Of course you would be concerned about his distress, you were like this with him, a worrywart, but his worrywart and he was the same with you. 

“Thank you! Someone at least is able to read the mood in a room”, he had to say, glaring at Olga who, again, shrugged and get away to dust the stairs. She wasn’t going to miss the show. No way. 

“No seriously, what happened to you poor thing, what did they do to you?”, Y/N cooed from the couch. 

Finally, Cobblepot emerged from the hallway, his mouth ready to answer them when all the air he took to do so was sucked out of him. “M-My dear?” He called. 

Y/N tensed on the sofa. Oh dear hell. Oh no. 

No excuse was good enough to explain your current state: slumped on the couch, a tiger face mask, bright yellow and blue unicorns air clips and the worse? Fluffy pajamas with a penguin and a polar bear walking hand in hand on the snow, with the sentence “Take it slow in the snow” sewn under them. No. Nope. Nu-uh. You were doomed. 

 Y/N smiled awkwardly and made a stupid little wave with their hand. “Oswald...Dear...Well...Hello?” 

His deafening silence was maybe worse than his higher screeches. When he finally opened his mouth, they were covered by the sound of the tv. “Oh my god, yes! Yes it’s the one!” 

His eyes followed the female voice and took a long look at the screen. “Is it “say yes to the dress?” He suddenly asked. 

You were dumbfounded a second, frowning your brows but finally answered a low “yes?” 

He would stay silent and resume his walking until letting himself fall ungracefully next to you and start to watch. 

“Oswald? Are you ok?” 

He nodded once, his eyes still on the screen. “Mother used to watch it with me and we would talk about my day.” 

Oh. Oh! Ok, Y/N can definitely make it their ritual. “Want to do it dear? I have another face mask and was about to ask Olga for another tea. How does it sound? 

Sounds perfect. Cobblepot will 100% adopt this ritual and talk about his terrible day while you apply some cucumber on his tired eyes. He knows how to do perfect manucure (mommy boy, remember?) and would help his S/O with their nails, hair, skin... everything. 

Their self care is as important as taking Gotham’s throne. Anybody interrupting them would be dead. And “Say yes to the dress” will stay, giving the two the perfect opportunity to bond even more about fashion. Oswald is also a very talented tailor after all, so he knows what he’s talking about. Enjoy!  

-- 

VICTOR ZSASZ

Since when didn’t he stalk you? A day or two? He was letting his guard down. What if you suddenly decided to run away, change city, were shot by a lunatic... and here it goes, his brain started to panic. He was pretty busy lately, thanks to Jim, Harvey, and every idiotic cop in the city suddenly realizing their job was in fact to arrest criminals, not taking their money and looking the other way. Aah...Good old days...

Anyway, nothing now was about to stop him to go to his S/O. Even if you gave him a key, (please don’t) he would prefer to pick the locks of your door, you know...for the thrill and everything. And, I mean, I you’re lucky enough to have survived Zsasz, it probably means you have some strong sense of self preservation and weren’t foolish enough to give the sadist your keys. 

When your door finally opened, he went inside of your flat like a shadow, grinning like a madman about the idea of giving you the scare of your dear life. God knows he loved to make you jump and see the rush of adrenaline in your body. 

Your TV was on, he could tell, the sound of a few people resonating inside of your flat like they were with you in your living room. 

Another sound made him stop for a second: someone drinking the end of a soda or a milkshake. Super loud at that. Who would have known the perfect little Y/N, always sipping their beverage like a posh aristocrat was enjoying a cheap one like any commoner on earth. How funny. 

You wouldn’t even realize he was next to the couch. Not until you heard him giggle stupidly making you scream bloody murder and throwing your now empty milkshake at his head. 

Being the troll he is, Victor would dodge it without even giving you a glance and lazily point at the screen saying something stupid like: “the previous one looked better uh?” 

Don’t strangle him on spot. Or do it, not sure here what he may enjoy the most... 

When your heart would finally stops its marathon, you would be able to take a better look at the picture: him, standing next to the couch arm, his left forearm on the top of the furniture, his right hand on his hip and his legs crossed, taking a good look at you, his S/O.

Currently rolled like a burrito in a fluffy purple plaid with only your head, hands and socks visibles. Are these little pizzas on your socks and headband by the way? And are you really wearing a panda face mask? 

You were ready to punch these questions back deep inside of his throat as soon as he will ask them and make him gulp his stupid smirk. Though, you weren’t ready for his gaze to shift from your eyes and face to your table and the “is it pepperoni?” He stupidly asked, pointing at the pizza your were eating earlier like an hungry wolf. You hoped he didn't see it...

Breathe, in and out. It’s the key.

"You really are full of surprises, love." He teased, too happy to see your obvious discomfort.

Option A) giving him the middle finger. Proceed with caution though, he's really good at shooting fingers.

Option B) Scream ugly profanities at his dumb face. Good to vent, but he wouldn't give a f. Just enjoy it more and more.

Option C) slouch back on the couch and throw him the pizza's menu. "you pay for the next and the milkshakes." And wait for his lazy ass to seat next to you, because he will. Oh. And if you feel confident enough, don't hesitate to slap a ridiculous face mask on his already ridiculous face. Yes he doesn't give a shit about looking like an idiot but you wouldn't be the only idiot in the room anymore. 👍

--

A/N - I hope you liked it, have a beautiful day dearie 🥰💐