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#I just have fun talking about international laws so actually thank you for giving me the chance to write this essay realistically-
kyouka-supremacy · 1 year
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Okay so so terribly sorry for being an insufferable person but. if you comment one of my posts with “[Sigma is] innocent on the basis of the casino being exempt from international laws” I'm literally obliged to correct you, I'm sorry, I physically can't ignore it, it's literally the object of study of my life. Saying that no international laws apply here is just factually incorrect! Twice at that!
First: it's absurd to suppose the sky casino has its own state jurisdiction on the basis that in no word you can consider the sky casino a state. According to the Montevideo Convention of 1933, art. 1:
The state as a person of international law should possess the following qualifications: a) a permanent population; b) a defined territory; c) government; and d) capacity to enter into relations with the other states.
Sky casino fails to fulfill any of these criteria, and thus cannot be considered a state with its own jurisdiction. I don't think there's any need for me to elaborate on why the sky casino lacks a permanent population (its “population” consists of transitory customers), or a government (there's barely anything that can be considered legislature or executive and definitely no judiciary), or the capacity to enter into relations with the other states (we don't have any reason to assume it does). Finally, the sky casino platform cannot be considered a territory on the same basis that artificial islands aren't considered islands: for that we can refer to the United Nations Convention on the Law of the Sea, art. 60, par. 8:
Artificial islands, installations and structures do not possess the status of islands. They have no territorial sea of their own, and their presence does not affect the delimitation of the territorial sea, the exclusive economic zone or the continental shelf.
Please also refer to the case of Sovereign Recognition of the Principality of Sealand, where the Principality's characteristic of being a World War Two anti-aircraft platform located within Britain's territorial waters makes it the perfect analogous case to compare to the sky casino; the platform's sovereignty isn't formally recognized by any country.
Concerning which jurisdiction the sky casino actually falls under, first of all we can refer to the Convention on International Civil Aviation, art. 1:
The contracting States recognize that every State has complete and exclusive sovereignty over the airspace above its territory.
So the sky casino's jurisdiction is the one of the state underneath it (most likely Japan).
In case the sky casino lies above high seas (all the sea spaces out of any country's jurisdiction), by the shared analogy between legal regime of sea spaces and airspaces, we can again refer to the United Nations Convention on the Law of the Sea, art. 92, par. 1:
Ships shall sail under the flag of one State only and, [...] shall be subject to its exclusive jurisdiction on the high seas.
So it'd be the jurisdiction of the country the sky casino is associated to, for example the one it was built in.
Second: no person, no matter their country or lack or thereof, no matter the jurisdiction they were subject to at the moment of the crime, is extent from international laws. Individuals are considered by the international law doctrine having international legal personality (together with other personalities, such as nations and international organizations) on the exact basis that, besides benefiting from international rights, they also have obligations in front of the international law, and those duties are exactly the duty to not commit international crimes (International Military Tribunal of Nuremberg, 1946 Judgment: “International law imposes duties and liabilities upon individuals as well as upon States”; “Crimes against international law are committed by men, not by abstract entities, and only by punishing individuals who commit such crimes can the provision of international law be enforced”).
Everyone is subject to international laws no matter the jurisdiction; it's just that no one realizes it because to actually commit international crimes means you have to screw up real bad (i.e. : commit crimes of genocide, crimes against humanity, war crimes). Everyone being subject to international laws with no exceptions is. a huge thing. It means people will be held accountable even when their country decides not to process them. It permits‚ for example‚ the International Criminal Court to issue a warrant of arrest for the current president of Russia, despite we can take a guess that he'd never be processed by his country.
In conclusion: you can't say Sigma is extent from international laws, because no jurisdiction or person is extent from international laws. If anything, what you can do is argue he never committed any international crime, although that'd be hard on its own to sustain; the UN General Assembly condemned terrorism in its resolution 49/60, 1994:
Criminal acts intended or calculated to provoke a state of terror in the general public, a group of persons or particular persons for political purposes are in any circumstance unjustifiable, whatever the considerations of a political, philosophical, ideological, racial, ethnic, religious or any other nature that may be invoked to justify them
not to mention he likely would have to answer for counterfeit coin too.
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stateswscarlet · 1 year
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Hi Scarlet! I saw your twt bio said no dms so I thought I would share my successes here that I got from your threads and content!
Bit of a background: I hovered over from the a+p girlies after affirming for 9-10 months for all my desires, using everything they taught and even putting full faith into thoughts and science manifesting. I would affirm almost nonstop (during work, school, even as I was eating/talking to others) for the entire time and I eventually got super frustrated! Not a single manifestation came in or even the slightest movement, maybe a butterfly and a car here and there (looking back at it its because I accepted seeing them internally and didn’t contradict that state, it wasn’t even the affirming). In March-ish I found your account on my timeline and previously I would ignore any states related information because I thought states were the same as dominant thoughts, but something about your thread at the time caught my attention which led me down a rabbit hole (positively!) of consuming your threads. I realized a lot of it actually made sense and explained why I didn’t see success so far.
Anyways so after a few weeks of learning about states I decided to stop overconsuming and stick to your account and edward art ONLY for all my manifestation needs. It was a little hard breaking free from the affirming mindset but I decided to focus on embodying how it would feel if I no longer had to worry about my thoughts and allowed that to wash over me. I used your “embody being the solution” thread SO SO much and I realized I was able to quickly solve all my internal issues using that because anytime I felt stuck, I just had to assume the feeling of being unstuck and what the ideal situation would be! I also fell in love with fulfilling my imagination and although I did care about experiencing it in the 3D, it was more like me not even thinking of it reflecting because its a LAW. I remember you saying you don’t even have to think about stuff reflecting because it does so anyways and my only role is to naturally give it to myself. So here is a list of some of my *bigger* manifestations that came in within a month-ish of me APPLYING states of being after I learned about it:
SP and I got back together after 8 months no contact and 11 months separation
My top choice graduate school which rejected me months ago actually reaching out to me offering me a spot saying the rejection was a “system error”
Free coachella tickets all expense paid in a luxury hotel that sponsored not only me but my boyfriend and 3 friends
My favorite makeup brand randomly sending me a HUGE package of makeup that I never ordered or asked for (I wanted more makeup from this brand)
My dad receiving a random check to clear his entire credit card debt of around a decade
A better job for my boyfriend that pays him double of his last one and has flexible hours that he didn’t need to apply for or interview and hes been loving it!
Free first class plane tickets to Bali this summer! I had already booked normal ones months before but last week I got an email saying my party had randomly been selected for a free upgrade. This happened like a day or so after I for fun assumed the state of someone who has a live of luxury.
I have other smaller successes but these are some of my main ones!I really want to thank you scarlet you have honestly changed my life and I can’t believe it truly was that easy all along! Thank you for your amazing threads, please continue dropping more (I literally have your notifs on haha)
AWW YAYYYYYAYAYS IM SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT!! You’re absolutely amazing🫶🏼
I dont even use this platform but just thought I would share this ❤️
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mthollowell-writes · 10 months
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Writer Q&A Tag Game
Thanks again to @digital-chance for the tag! You can find their original post here!
1)What motivates you to write?
My own ego (I kid...sorta).
I love creating worlds and giving life to the various voices inside my head. I love teasing out ideas and constructing (too) intricate plots and scenarios. Writing is my escape from the daily grind (for good and bad) and my main outlet for expression. I honestly wouldn't be me without my writing.
2) A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)
I'll share something from a short story currently on ice until I get around to editing it. It's tentatively called "Cosmic Self-Serve"
Unfathomable eldritch horrors weren’t on my Tuesday night bingo card but it takes all types to keep a gas station in the black. I took another pack of gum from the rack and popped a stick in my mouth, praying for brain freeze. Cool mint took over my senses and I felt like a person again. Gary won’t be happy with my lack of respect for “stock integrity” but that’s why our corporate gods gave us shrink. Also Gary’s an asshole so screw Gary.
3) Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?
I'm going to have to give this to September from my Festival Project WIP. He's such a mess of a character despite his best efforts to keep it together. He has a pretty lengthy backstory for "reasons that drift a smidge into spoiler territory." On the surface, he's calm and collected and can weather any storm with clear head, but that comes from a long history of battling demons (both real and internal). He currently puts these talents towards being the Editor in Chief at his newspaper office.
4) What process of writing do you enjoy the most?
The initial brainstorming and outlining stage. I love plotting out stories free from the expectation of making the words sound pretty. I do still enjoy making the words pretty but sometimes I stall getting too caught up in that.
5) What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)
The dialogue, though I will be the first to admit that I can get carried away with it. I also credit myself as a very meticulous plotter, in the actual plot and with character backstories. I've been told that my shorter stories tend to subvert expectation and go in unexpected places (but this too has its pitfalls as my earlier writing has been labelled as confusing by certain peers in writing workshops).
Even when I'm trying to stroke my ego, I keep offering caveats.
6) What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?
Honestly, how supportive everyone is! We're always trying to build each other up and the discussions I see on my feed where people excitedly talk about their stories and OCs remind me why writing is so much fun. And the games, of course. My god, these games! I love them!
7) A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)
I recently took the plunge and bought Scrivener and I'm liking it so far. It's a bit of a learning curve with all the features you can play with, but I love how you can organize stories and bookmark things within each text section for referencing. Best of all, (and as far as I'm aware) you only have to pay once for it (unlike some other subscription based programs). With that being said, I do love Microsoft Word for smaller projects and its backup feature.
I also use a timer on my computer (I have Windows so there's a clock app that you can adjust). On days that I'm really struggling to motivate myself, dividing my time into smaller increments can get me through the slog.
8) A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)
Egad, what a broad question! I have to think about that for a second...
There's a unique Protestant-inspired church branch within Hollow Grove that's known as the Edelhaus Coalition Church. It's also uniquely American, whose foundation is the old Puritan work ethic that emphasizes hard work as a core tenet that guarantees a path to heaven.
Where it diverges is its belief in The Founder and the concept of The Faithful. The Faithful are the true believers that have gained immense favor with God through their hard work and aptitude. As evidence of his favor, he gives The Faithful powers over nature. The Founder (who many believe was the original historical founder of the town, Goodwin Hollow) was the first Faithful and every Festival of Shadows, the evidence of his will is seen in the resurrection of the recently deceased every festival year. This holiday is celebrated by all in the Edelhaus Coalition church for this reason. It's also why many acolytes within the church opt for natural burial for a chance to walk the earth again.
There's more to it but in the spirit of brevity, that's all I'll say for now.
9) What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?
I'll say it again, write what you love. There's no point in writing something you don't.
I also want to emphasize the importance of breaks. Sometimes if the words aren't flowing (or there's just so much going in your life), never feel ashamed of putting the pen down and coming back to a story later. The time away can offer fresh perspective. It can divert your attention to something else that you're equally passionate about. I sometimes like to procrastinate on one story with another. If I can't write at all, sometimes reading or watching something can inspire you.
10) Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters
I'm truly inspired by reading the snippets of stories from @digital-chance (that's two mentions now!) @rmgrey-author @palebdot @tabswrites @writingbyricochet and @fatexweaver. I appreciate the support and interactions I've had with @vintagecivet @macabremoons @friendlyshaped @aestatismors @leisoree @words-after-midnight @axl-ul @nai-nty-8 and @nonsenseramble. Seriously, you all rock and I appreciate all of you!
I'm going to go ahead and gently tag all these beautiful folks listed above as well as some newer mutuals who I hope to get to know more @girlfromthecrypt @elhuei @isherwoodj @poemsbymo @robin-writes-a-lot and anyone who would like to participate!
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grimvestige · 7 months
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B) What inspired you to create them? (Tiarnan) ; C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story? (Draper) ; What memory do they revisit the most often? (Wrath!Caedrinn) :3
Triple threat!!! :O
What inspired you to create them? (Tiarnan)
Tiarnan is actually an AU of an NPC I really love RPing from my own D&D setting, The Folly of Helios! (That NPC is just called 'The Owl'!) I ended up playing Tiarnan after talking over a few character ideas with the GM for Hadreon and deciding he would fit the best.
As far as how I changed him for the setting I basically went "What if his wife wasn't dead lol" (and also changed wife to spouse bc we need more big strong nonbinary sword wielders), and from there it was lots of putting puzzle pieces together with things I liked about Hadreon! He's an enchantment wizard because it's a great specialist school mechanically and I wanted to engage with the ethical conundrum of enchantment magic + diplomacy. He ended up a rebel sidhe because I liked Leon a bunch and just wanted my character to be friends with him, and his aspect ended up getting picked based around the choice of specialty magic school & profession!
Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story? (Draper)
A lot actually! I really love Draper now, but I very much was frustrated with her at one point because the party didn't end up relying on her for the two things she was good at: healing & poisoning stuff. Plus, anything else she was okay at, there was already somebody who specialized in it.
BUT by the end of the campaign, she ended up basically brute forcing her way in lmao - she got a level in magus so she could actually hit things herself, not to mention that it was her adoptive family that played key roles in helping the party.
She's the sort of character who's a completely unwilling adventurer but is unfortunately good at it and gets roped into things because of that, which is fun to play!
What memory do they revisit the most often? (Wrath!Caedrinn)
OOOO I GET TO TALK ABOUT MY KNIGHT COMMANDER! It's fun to talk about his internal feelings since there aren't a lot of methods to explore that in-game!
The memory that Caedrinn revisits most is confronting his own reflection in the mirror and the Aeons. He feels really conflicted about having these powers thrust upon him - on one hand, they give him the ability to undo horrific curses and rituals with the snap of his fingers. On the other, they urge him to force people to repent for understandable crimes like stealing supplies because they weren't getting enough.
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Being calloused and lawful isn't in his nature, but the path set out before him demands it - both in terms of mythic power and in leading the fifth crusade. After some recent happenings involving companion quests (To not spoil things and to keep it brief, Regill's first quest, and a part of Sosiel's that involves interrogating a Hellknight), he's having a bit of an existential crisis. Is he the carefree drunken wanderer turned hero? Or is he becoming the heartless authority he despises?
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(Bonus art of Caedrinn's reflection I wasn't sure I was gonna post but since it's relevant here ya go!)
Thank you for the asks!!! these were very fun to think about!!
If you want to throw more OC asks at me here ya go!
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nocek · 1 year
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There's actually a deleted scene of Okoye trying to go rescue Shuri in her borders' tribe armor, and being stopped and confronted by Ayo and the Doras
Also the midnight angels in the comics are the most skilled Doras, her using the armor to defeat Attuma who has superhuman strength doesn't disminish her as warrior.
Hope they release that deleted tho.
Damn... sorry for such a late reply but it also grow up to quite a long rant. I'm sorry. I have too many feels about this movie
...
That deleted scene sounds interesting and I'd love to see it for more Ayo or just for the costumes because this movie, just as previous one, has glorious costumes.
It answers the question why she didn't go on a quest to save the princess. Problem is that this question only arises because she doesn't go on that quest because her plot thread has been cut.
I know it's a circular argument but hear me out.
That scene would be a logical explanation. A very realistic one too. It's a very real life thing to fuck something up and not be able or allowed to fix it. And it sucks and is very frustrating.
And that's why we invented storytelling with it tropes and all (ok I'm simplifying since it's after all a superhero movie but....). In stories satisfying plot will have an actual resolution. That's why the bomb is always disarmed in the last second and so on.
So if this scene was actually in the movie my angry rant will be at least 3 paragraphs longer and I'm glad creators realized that it's better to cut their loses, cut this plot thread cleanly instead of adding a tease that leads to nothing and would be even more frustrating.
Because here we would have glorious potential. Suddenly the Lawful Neutral character is being cut from the external lawful codex she was following. She would have to make a hard choice and switch to her internal moral compass and move towards Lawful Good alignment. (not my fav thing as there is so few really interesting lawful neutral characters but I'll take it gladly)
We would have a buildup, a big breath before a leap of faith just to have it suddenly stopped by external factor. Typical bait and switch which is very unsatisfying. It doesn't necessary need to be bad story writing tho. But it would require some additional scenes with Okoye dealing with her being stopped and this movie just didn't have time for that.
So in a way thank you for telling me about this deleted scene. I actually feel better knowing it all was mercifully cut cleanly instead :D
Damn, that got a bit ranty again. Sorry! So just a quick thing about Midnight Angel armors.
Comics are great and everything is better established there. Problem is we are talking about a movie where comic reading audience rounds up to like statistical error :S even people that will learn bit more from youtube comic fun fact videos are comparatively small to general casual audience. Besides we should evaluate the movie by it's own merits as a separate and complete project.
And in the movie it's more like Shuri side project of iron man but better because it's Shuri's. Probably they wanted to add bonding moment with Riri of you make armors, I make armors, armor sis hell yeah! But they didn't have time for that also. With presenting Iron Heart armor movie doesn't have time to give audience info about Midnight Angels besides that maybe it will be mass produced?
Instead of showing us (or just even telling, I'll take telling at this point) it being given to the best Dora Milaje as an act of honor and recognition of their skills is given to Okoye because she had to have something to do to appear in final battle and to Aneka which we don't know anything about besides she likes knives above a spear, is a bit quirky and is Ayo's wife (blink and you miss it, classic shitty Disney "Representation-first-ever-again"). Nothing about her above average skills :(
And even this had potential that this movie didn't have time for. Disgraced general and a free spirited soldier she previously scoffed at? Aneka being very open and enthusiastic towards new technologies while Okoye being traditionalist. So. Much. Potential.
And I'm not even mad and I'm not shitting on this movie because I hate it. Quite the contrary. I liked it I see all the potential and all the heart that was put into it and I'm just dam frustrated that the "Marvel formula" works so hard against it with it's shitty gray cgi grand battle at the end that just takes away the runtime from things that are actually interesting :(
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that1fangirrl · 4 months
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Angel-Chapter 1
Training class started how it normally did. Coach Corsi was rambling on about some new technique. Today being, ‘how to drop from any surface and immediately be ready for a battle’. Most students would venture off into pairs, practicing said technique. Unfortunately for students like Jenevieve, whose powers were deemed “useless” in a fight, they were signing their lives away to a new career builder that Dr.Moira thinks will help make mutants seem more “humane to the public eye”. “So, what are you thinking about trying this year Jeni? I heard there’s some openings at that new Morgue down in Manhattan. That's science-y enough for you, right?” Jubilee, one of Jenevieve’s closest friends, asks while opening her bento box and offering up a carrot. “I mean it is, but who wants to spend their entire summer staring into the sweet eyes of death all day? Besides, Charles says I've passed my limit in the science field. Something about wanting me to “branch out and see what else tickles my fancy”. It’s stupid.” She quietly rolls her eyes. “What does that even mean “branching out”? I try new things! He makes me sound like some loser ass turtle.” “You do have a tendency of hiding inside yourself Jeni. You can’t exactly be mad at him for that. It’s his job to look after us as mutants y'know~GASP~ Maybe you could work with me and Ororo at this cute little cafe in Hell’s Kitchen. It’s called “Silk Joy Cafe.” I’ve heard some pretty good reviews and it sounds like a bunch of fun?! Plus, You’ll be with people you know down there.” Jenevieve almost felt bad at how big Jubilee’s eyes had gotten. She wasn’t into the whole “touching people’s food and listening to their depressing lives as they swallowed down their oat milk soy bean lattes with an extra shot of bee pollen”. Having powers that give you a birds eye view into people and random objects’ lives can do that to ya. Although, living an hour away from New Salem and her parents did sound like an absolute dream. Jenevieve propped up her elbow. “ It sounds great, Jubes! Not the bakery part, but maybe I can find a place to intern down there. We can get a nice place close by and I’ll even get free snacks and coffee from you guys. It’s perfect!” Jenevieve gets up and starts making her way to Dr. Moira’s office. “Hey Doc- Oh Hi Professor X! I didn’t know you guys would be in here together.” “Actually Jenevieve, we were just talking about you. You still haven’t picked a place to intern at yet. I was starting to worry. But according to Jubilee, It seems you girls are thinking of traveling to Hell's Kitchen. That sounds quite fun!” Charles starts. “Um, yeah. She was saying there’s a bakery down there that she and Ororo are gonna work at. Do you by any chance know if there’s any available jobs in the area?” “Of course he was listening to our conversation” She says to herself knowing Charles can’t read her mind.  “Actually, I was one step ahead of you. There’s a couple of Law Firms down there and I think that would be a perfect place for you.” Jenevieve looks on timidly. “Law… Firms? That doesn’t exactly sound like something I’d be into sir. Um with all do respect, of course. And wouldn’t I have to interact with mean asshole liars all day? That definitely doesn’t sound like somewhere I’d fit in nor want to be.” “I understand your concerns, but I think this would actually be a perfect opportunity for you, dear. A way of getting out of your comfortable little molecular shell that you cage off into. Maybe it’s time you try something new. Most of them aren't that bad anyway. We’ll find you a nice one like always.” Moira butts in trying to make her feel more comfortable. “Well… I guess I could give it a try. I can’t promise that I’ll love it, but it is something different I guess.” “Then it’s settled! We’ll email you all the information you’ll need and I’ll get you girls a nice place in Manhattan. How does that sound, Jenevieve ?” Charles claps his hands together. “ It sounds great. Uh, thanks… again.” She breathlessly laughs, walking out feeling as defeated as ever.
Author's Note: sooo, I wrote this back in like August, so if there are any mistakes, sorry. The formatting might be weird too cause I write everything in google docs first, but it should be fine. Feedback is always encouraged. Just don't be rude, y'know. Enjoy<3
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house-of-crows · 2 years
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So actually fuck the internalized bullshit Im going to talk about this- 
Before I went on T, and after I had the thyroid diagnosis... I was nearly passing. I was a fucking 135lb hardbody twink with generous tits but they obeyed the law of Binder when necessary. 24-27 I was JUST FUCKING FINE THANK YOU. 
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And then I managed to get up North and get on T and change my name and gender and y’know what happened? My weight BALLOONED. IMMEDIATELY. I’m still struggling to get under 200 lbs and I now have TRIPLE D TITS and an ass that won’t fit into a single pair of the shorts I used to wear to the leather club. My Harnesses that I worked my ASS OFF FOR do not fit. My collar, that I bought from the INCOMPARABLY SKILLED Vad Farkas that arrived on a friday 13th in the middle of a glorious summer DOES NOT FUCKING FIT ANYMORE. 
And y’know what friends? I’m allowed to be pissed about that. I’m allowed to be SO FUCKING ANGRY that I wasted some three damn years on a medication that no one figured out I was allergic to until I changed my injection site. The actual real dose in the real medication is doing JACK ALL and this whole debacle has taught me something. 
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I kinda like my tits actually. I wish they weren’t the first thing people noticed when they looked at me, but hey they’re there and they’re fun to play with. I DO NOT FUCKING WANT chest hair. I do not want the insane amount of body hair that has cropped up so now I’m going to have to do something about it. I am shaving my damn face every day because I can’t stand the feeling of the peach-fuzz-turning-beardy under my jaw. 
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I don’t necessarily think I am UGLY, but I am now and probably always will be stuck in a half-way point because there’s really nothing that can fix this outside of more prominent and expensive interventions. Like the fact that I now have a double-palm size balding patch on my head that will not grow back in for the life of me, and I have tried EVERYTHING. I’m allowed to be pissed about that too. My hair wasn’t exactly a PRIDEFUL thing, but I sure did enjoy dying it weird colors. I like having it tugged sometimes... but that’ll never happen again. 
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It’s not a damn sin to tell kids to be sure they want to transition before they start. It’s not a sin to tell them IN DETAIL the changes that will happen to their bodies. It is not a sin to tell them that they should get a fucking therapist before making permanent changes to their bodies that can fuck you up in unexpected ways. It’s definitely not a sin to tell them that they should make real damn sure what they want before they jump in, because starting and getting changes you’re not prepared for can CAUSE MORE DYSPHORIA THAN IT HELPS. 
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Now I’m glad for the opportunity I had. I’m glad that I had a social worker and therapist who tried to prepare me. I still think adults should be able to do whatever the fuck they want to their bodies, as long as they’re prepared to live with the consequences. But it’s no lie to say that I feel Some Kinda Way about people under 18 doing more than hormone blockers to gain some time to think. That’s why the damn hormone blockers fucking exist in the first place, to give them TIME. 
Keeping minors off hormone blockers who think they might be some flavor of trans is bigoted and wrong. It prevents the exact kinda situation I’m in now, in doesn’t fucking cause it. Listen to people when they tell you who they are... and make sure they have the option of informed consent before they start something majorly life changing. That’s all.
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gguksgalaxy · 4 years
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Stranded | JJK | E2L
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Jungkook’s offer to help you study for your exam is unwelcome. His entire presence is unwelcome. You don’t want help from the guy who passes all his classes without even trying. It’s annoying — he is annoying. From the way he grins whenever he catches you staring at him, to the way his eyes shine whenever he smiles at you. Oh, and let’s not forget the way his tattoos shift when he stretches or the way his jawline sharpens when he’s focused. Nope, you definitely can’t stand him.
›› AU: Enemies to lovers, fuck/badboy!Jungkook ›› Genre: Fluff / Smut / Angst ›› Rating: NC-17 (explicit sexual content, 18+) ›› Pairing: JJK x Reader ›› Word Count: 13k ›› Jungkook Snuggle Drabbles. Warnings Include: A lot of swearing, heavy themes of miscommunication and strong judgements, Jungkook sleeps around a lot, university related stress, brief mention of past underage drinking, emotional and romantic angst, argument, the desecration of a mug.  Sexual content: Protected sex, blowjob, cunnilingus, face sitting/riding.
A/N: This one's for you @fallinforkoo I hope that you like it!! This is not something I would usually write but the idea popped up when seeing the request so here she is! A little cliché but I hope it's original enough. Let me know what you guys think!
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“As your best friend,” Taehyung says sheepishly over the phone, “I really need you to do me a favour.”
You groan, leaning your head over the edge of the bed. “I don’t like where this is going.”
He hums. He doesn’t even laugh. There’s just a brief silence before he asks you the impossible. “I need you to invite Jungkook for the get-together on Friday.”
“Absolutely fucking not,” you spit. “Taehyung, my best friend, the platonic love of my life. I will do anything for you. Literally anything. I would suck your toes if you asked me, but I won’t do that.”
Now he laughs, loud and deep. It only makes you sulk more. Inviting Jeon Jungkook into your humble abode? To have him walk around with that smug—and delectably gorgeous—grin on his face as he finds something to make fun of? Not over your dead body. Not in a million years.
“Please, do it for me.”
You vigorously shake your head. “I don’t see how I would be doing you a favour by inviting him. You don’t even like him!”
“I mean...I really don’t mind him. But I like Jimin, a lot, and I feel bad for excluding his friend all the time, it’s starting to get weird. Can’t you just invite him over? I promise you won’t have to talk to him.”
Oh, but you do. Because Jungkook always manages to weasel under your skin and get you worked up to a point where you just have to say something. It’s not your fault that he’s such an ass. He just rubs you all the wrong ways. “I am in a constant state of wanting to rip his head off. I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
Jungkook is just so...You really cannot stand him. First of all, he doesn’t study. All he does is party and sleep around with random girls. Yet, he still somehow manages to be at the top of the class. Secondly, he’s a dick. He has no respect for both his elders and you. Any chance he gets he will make fun of you or blatantly insult you. And lastly, he looks too good and he knows it. Walking around campus just basking in the attention from all the girls, and guys, who want him despite his reputation.
Taehyung snorts. “If I were you, I would be more worried that you’re in a constant state of wanting to suck his dick.”
“I’d rather snap his dick in half.” Sometimes you wonder why you’re friends with Taehyung. After all, he’s the one who told Jimin to bring along his friend. Now, you’re regularly exposed to Jeon Jungkook’s incessant flirting with anything that breathes, constant whining about just about everything, and complete lack of personal space. Taehyung had been certain that if you got to know Jungkook outside of class, it would make you more amicable towards each other. However, it’s only made it worse.
“You know, sometimes people lie about something so often that they start to feel like it’s the truth.”
You roll your eyes, sitting up on the bed. It’s noon already. You really should be studying for your Psychology of Law exam. Also known as the course from hell. As a law student, you really can’t make sense of the material. All the mumbling about internal thought processes and stressors has your mind logging off. You’re chapters behind. You don’t even know where to start. Because unlike a certain someone, you actually have to study. Even with all-nighters, thorough summaries, and flashcards, you’ve still managed to fail quite a few classes. The future of your law degree literally balances on this one class. If you fail, you lose your scholarship.
“Are you still with me?”  Taehyung asks.
“Yeah, I’m just considering defenestrating myself. Anything better than studying for psych.”
“Even inviting Jungkook?”
“Anything but that.”  It’s not like Taehyung is completely wrong. Jungkook looks like a model when he actually decides to groom himself instead of showing up to class in sweats and uncombed hair. You’re way too aware that he works out five days a week. Or that he’s got tats lining his arm, intricate designs that—No. You’re not falling down this hole today.
Taehyung’s typing something up, probably studying for his own exams. “I will let you study then. Just please, invite him over. I will forever be in your debt. Be the better person.”
The sweet lining to Taehyung’s plea actually manages to work for once. He’s your best friend, after all. He would probably do the same thing for you. It’s just not that fun to be around Jungkook when part of you—as much as you may deny it—feels some type of way about him.
“I will consider it.”
“That’s not a no.”
“Don’t make me change it back to a no, Kim.”
He chuckles. “Someday, you will thank me. That day being the one when you finally come to terms with your feelings.”
“Bye, Taehyung,” you grumble, ending the call and throwing the phone down on the duvet.
So yes, maybe you do have a thing for Jungkook. Doesn’t make him any less annoying. If anything, it makes him even more insufferable. Why did you have to develop a weird crush on a guy you can’t even stand? The world doesn’t have to be cruel like that. But here you are. Not that it matters. Jungkook would sleep with just about any girl but you. Which says more about them.
Reluctantly, you get up and grab your books from your desk. Studying is easier in the living room, away from distractions.
Your peace doesn’t last long. Not even halfway through your first coffee, your doorbell rings.
Groaning, you get up and prepare your best ‘no I don’t want to buy whatever you’re selling’ face. Upon unlocking the door, that face falters.
“What the hell are you doing here?” you spit out the moment you see Jungkook’s big doe eyes. He’s standing on your doorstep like he’s supposed to be here. With his backpack nonchalantly slung over one shoulder.
He looks past you, into your apartment. “Oh, you started studying for psych?”
Your living room is a mess. “Well, I was trying to start, but I’ve been rudely interrupted by someone who has no invitation to be here.”
He rolls his eyes. “I’m here to make sure that you don’t fail another class and have to drop out.” Like he owns the place, he pushes past you and waltzes inside. He drops his backpack and readjusts his baseball cap, showing off his forehead and chocolate brown hair. It’s really starting to get long.
“I don’t need your help.” There’s no way he’s here just to help you study. And even if he was, he’s just going to distract you. You’re not friends. He must have some ulterior motive for being here. Jeon Jungkook doesn’t study, let alone help people study. Not to your knowledge at least. “I can manage just fine on my own.”
He grabs his laptop from his bag. “What part of ‘having to drop out if you fail another class’ did you not understand?” He puts the device down and gets comfortable on your couch. As if he’s done it before.
You cross your arms over your chest. “Who told you about that?”
He shrugs. “Jimin mentioned it, he must have it from Taehyung. Does it really matter?”
“Yes, it matters,” you sneer. “I didn’t ask you to be here. I don’t want you to be here. There’s no way I’m going to get anything done with you around. Get the fuck out.” You point a finger at the door, waiting for him to leave. “Do you not hear me?”
“Oh, I heard you. I’m just waiting for you to get over yourself and realise that you actually need my help.”
“I don’t.”
“Can you tell me the difference between compliance and suggestion in the context of a police hearing?” he questions, leaning back and propping his clunky boot-clad feet onto the table.
You press your lips together in a thin line, thinking about a possible answer.
He grins. “Any idea what the Reid Technique is and why it is or isn’t ethical?”
“No,” you grumble.
“You know what the pros and cons are of an Oslo style eyewitness lineup?”
You shake your head, dropping your arms in defeat. He’s got you. You don’t know anything. Maybe you do need his help. As long as he tries to be nice, you can give him the benefit of the doubt. Another year of your degree is definitely worth it.
Jungkook pats the spot on the couch beside him. “Let’s get started, we’ve got a lot of ground to cover if we want to get you a good grade.”
And so you get to work. Jungkook makes himself a little too comfortable in your home. Aside from pulling out his flashcards, multiple summaries and annotated materials, he actually slips into the kitchen to make tea. He raids your pantry for snacks and pulls out your blanket from under the table.
“What?” He says, mouth stuffed with gummy bears while he unfolds the blanket. “I’m sorry, but your apartment is really fucking cold. Since you’re dressed as if you’re going to the North Pole, I assumed the radiator must be broken.”
“It has been almost a week now. My landlord is being an ass about it. Also, I’m wearing normal clothes that normal people wear when it’s cold outside. Unlike you, with your short-sleeves and thin coat.”
“It’s October.”
“It’s nine degrees outside. You’re insane.”
“No,” he says, sitting back down with the blanket around his shoulders. “I’m just hot.”
A reluctant smile pulls at your lips. Why must you betray yourself?
He leans in close, inspecting your face. “I can’t believe I lived to see the day. You actually smiled at one of my jokes.”
If he’s good at one thing, it’s definitely proving that he’s an annoying shit. “I’m laughing at how pathetic you are.”
“At least I’m not the one who tried to hide her smile.”
“And I’m not the one who forced his way into this apartment. I’d watch out, some people might start to think you actually like being around me.” You turn back towards his laptop, scrolling through the document to the next topic. Police hearings.
Jungkook puts his hand down behind you so he can get closer—too close—and look over your shoulder. “Maybe,” he whispers, “I do like spending time with you.”
You whip your head around so fast you nearly knock heads with him. He doesn’t move. Both your noses basically touching. At this proximity you can see all the fine details in his skin. The flecks of lighter brown in his eyes that really do shine. The moles on his nose, the scar on his cheek.
“Nah.” He pulls away. “I’m just messing with you. I still don’t like you.”
What on earth did you do to make him come over here? If he dislikes you so much, he shouldn’t have bothered. You’re not a charity case. “If you’d just let me fail, you wouldn’t have to put up with me again.”
He tuts. “Where’s the fun in that? I’d honestly miss your bad comebacks and petty remarks.”
“Excuse me, my comebacks are not bad?”
“They’re mediocre at best, ma’am,” he laughs, grin showing the fullness of his cheeks that make him look deceptively cute.
You shiver at the thought. He’s a lot of things, but he’s not cute. Yes, he’s probably a good guy deep down, but he’s not cute. Jeon Jungkook is and always will be an annoying, self-entitled, arrogant brat. Nothing is going to change your mind. Not even the way your heart beats faster from just having him so close.
“Don’t ‘ma’am’ me,” you bite.
“I’m not even going to give you any points for that. You didn’t even try!” He makes an exasperated gesture as he grabs another handful of gummies.
‘Childish’ should be added to the list. “Are you here to help me study or not?”
Jungkook nods, sitting cross-legged. “Just so I get to bother you for another year.”
The two of you get back to work. He takes you through a very detailed and too dramatic explanation of the Reid technique. You find yourself captivated by how passionate he seems. He sure does know a lot about the subject.
Jungkook turns out to be a very active talker. He makes very detailed descriptions and uses his hands to explain things. It’s easy to understand him, but it’s way harder to memorise it. As the material gets more complicated, he gets more serious and you start to lose track. His frown deepens, dimple-like creases appearing in his cheek that make him look sharper and older. You can’t help but stare.
He’s so handsome. The tattoos that circle around his left arm shift as he speaks. The same way that his earrings dangle as he moves. You get caught up in him, the way he talks, the passion that rolls off him in waves.
“Are you gawking at me?”  He says, stopping his movements mid-air.
Cheeks flushed, you try to come up with a smart reply. “I was thinking whether your head has always looked this big.”
His lips pull into a straight line. “I’m here trying to do my best to explain to you what the difference is between an Oslo confrontation and a sequential lineup, and you’re worried about the size of my fucking head?”
“I mean, it’s awfully big, no?”  You poke his forehead.
He grabs your wrist in return, pulling your body towards him. “Can you at least try to appreciate my effort?”
“I’m listening!”
Wetting his lips, he arches an eyebrow. “Explain the difference to me.”
Well, you weren’t listening that intently. “Uh, a sequential lineup has a lower chance of causing false positives.”
“That’s the last sentence I said, you can do better.” He lets go of you so you can lean back. For a second, he actually seems pissed off. Maybe you should try, he’s doing his best after all. It’s just hard when he’s here looking this good.
“Oslo confrontations feature the suspects in a lineup at the same time, whereas a sequential lineup shows them one by one.” That’s all you got.
“Well,” he says, throwing you a gummy from the bag. “You got one point out of five.”
Treat halfway to your mouth, you stop. “One?!”
He nods. “And I’m being generous with you. First of all, you cannot call them suspects, they’re candidates or possible suspects. There’s usually only one suspect and the rest are actors who look like the suspect. You also missed the part where, during the sequential lineup, the witness doesn’t get to see all the suspects. Once they pick the one they think is the perpetrator, they will not get to see the additional candidates.”  Why does this sound so hot when he says it?
God, you’re going insane. “Well, I’ll try to remember that and the seven-hundred other things you said. All the blabbering you do makes it really hard.”  It comes out harsher than you intended. From the way Jungkook stays silent, you know it must’ve hit home.
He gets up, making your heart sink. “I think it’s time for a break. You’re getting frustrated. Do you want to order pizza?”
“I don’t recall asking you to stay over for dinner.”
Jungkook takes a long, deep breath, closing his eyes. You can feel the anger build up. “Listen, I’m here to help you. The least you can do is fucking appreciate it. Be stubborn all you want, but you need this. You want a shot at this degree. I’m here, because as much as I can’t stand you, I won’t enjoy watching you get kicked off the entire program because you’re struggling with the material.”  There’s a heavy pause. You let his words sink in. The level of concern is surprising. It’s sweet. “So do you want to order pizza or not? Because I’m starving.”
You nod. “Pizza sounds good.”
The tension ebs away after that. Jungkook goes into the kitchen and comes back with a mug filled with milk, of all things. You bite your tongue.
“I want pineapple on my pizza,” he says.
Pausing, you raise your eyebrows. “You cannot be serious.”
“Depends. How much do you hate pineapple?” His shit eating grin returned like it was never gone. It gives him away.
Narrowing your eyes at him, you speak; “So, double pineapple for you?”
Suddenly, his face falters. “Whoa, you can’t actually do that to me.”
“You’re the one who said he likes pineapple!”
“It was a joke. No person in their right mind would put fruit on their pizza.”  He sits next to you, taking another sip of his milk. “I’m really not picky though, but the one with the jalapenos is good. Or the chili chicken.”  Jungkook scoots closer so he can scroll through the menu on your phone, hand brushing against yours.
This way, you get a clear view of the rose tattoo on his hand. It’s beautiful, detailed but still in a traditional style. It suits him, as do his other tattoos. Though this one has always stood out to you.
“I’m just going to get pepperoni,” you say after a while.
Jungkook sighs, then turns his head to whisper in your ear; “Boring.”
Startled, you shove him so hard he falls onto his back. “Don’t be such a child. I’m not going to make you eat it.”
When he sits back up, his shirt rises and reveals the edge of a narrow, toned waist. You look away, focusing on actually ordering the pizza. Jungkook really doesn’t have to be so casually attractive. He’s not even trying and you can’t keep your eyes off him, noticing something new every minute. A good reason to not spend any more time with him after this.
“Gimme.” He plucks your phone out of your hands so he can order his own pizza. With the utmost concentration, he scrolls and types in some things. No doubt using your pre-set credit card to pay for it. “Wait,” he says, sitting up straight. “Whoa, you’re friends with Yoongi? As in Min Yoongi? The guy who won this year’s mock court?”
Gasping, you dart over to grab the phone from him. “Don’t go through my messages!” With one hand on your chest, he manages to keep the device out of your reach. “Jungkook!”
His eyes move over the screen, reading your messages with the third year law student. “Why didn’t you just ask him for help, huh? He seems to like you, and that’s something. I don’t think Yoongi likes anybody.”
You try harder to grab your phone from his hands. It must look insane, your body bent over his, him trying to find ways to hold you off and keep the phone out of your reach. Somehow, you end up squashed between his—way too strong—thighs.
“Jungkook give me my phone back!” you whine.
Something on the screen makes him raise his eyebrows. “Are you two like—you know? Cuz I’ve heard some stuff and—”  
You shake your head, getting uneasy with the fact that he’s really reading your personal messages. “I don’t like Yoongi like that.”
Jungkook lifts his leg, using his knee to push you back. He’s got way too much strength in his body. “Okay, but I’m not sure that he knows that. He’s not a nice guy, you should steer clear of him.”
“Oh, and you would know how? It’s not like you’re such a gentleman.” Again, you try to jump for your phone, but he stops you in time by grabbing your wrist.
Face serious, he holds your gaze. “I’m not kidding. We run in the same circles. He’s a total asshole, you don’t want to get involved with him. You can do better.”
That sure is a way to silence you. You frown, settling back into your seat as Jungkook keeps scrolling through the chat. “I’m not into him, but he’s been texting me for a while. I was in his group for mock court.” Finally, you get your phone back, but your stomach feels uneasy looking at it. Perhaps Yoongi’s messages are a bit forward.
“I don’t know Yoongi well enough to be able to say for sure, but I know enough to tell you that he doesn’t talk to girls like you because he wants to be friends,” Jungkook says with a hand lingering on your thigh.
Way to make you feel good about yourself, Jeon. “What does that mean, girls like me?”
His face changes, eyes wide.
“What are you trying to say?” you press.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, he leans forward onto his knees. “All I’m saying is that you don’t deserve to get played by some asshole who’s just trying to get into your pants.”
“Oh.” Is he being for real? He’s looking out for you? This is not how this is supposed to go. Jungkook shouldn’t be nice to you. He shouldn’t be helping you, or care about your wellbeing. He’s a dick and the two of you squabble and yell at each other. Yet, your chest warms at his words. Even if you weren’t looking to get together with Yoongi, it’s good to know he might have alternative motives. “Thank you.”
All he does is nod, before he grabs his laptop to resume where you guys left off. The awkwardness slowly dissipates as he takes you through the entire lineup thing again, just so you’ve got it down. After that you move onto the remaining subjects.
Today sure is strange. You never expected things to be so comfortable with Jungkook. Despite his exasperating personality and your on and off bickering, his presence is pleasant. It doesn’t take long for you to sink into the couch, drinking your third large cup of coffee.
Completely focussed on his monologue, you ask questions very sparingly, enraptured by him. You knew he was smart, he passes his classes with grades of 80% or higher for a reason. However, it’s different to see it in action.
Pizza arrives a little late, much to Jungkook’s dismay. Turns out he’s quite cranky when he gets hungry. He devours his pizza way faster than you can get through half of yours, and he’s quick to inch towards a slice from your box. You smack his hand away, reminding him of how he slandered you for your topping choice. He can have your leftovers from yesterday
“You call this pasta?” he questions in a disgusted tone, crouched down by the fridge
“Take it or starve. Your choice.”
He gets up, nose scrunched. “I’d rather starve, thanks. What exactly do you excel at? Since it’s not school, wit, or cooking.”
“Aim,” you spit, flicking a piece of pepperoni at him. It hits him straight in the cheek and you burst out into a fit of laughter. He stares at you in utter disbelief, removing the greasy piece of meat from his face. Tongue pressed to his cheek, he fights off his own smile—or an insult.
Eventually, he sits back down and goes over the remaining material while you eat. The end comes faster than you expected, his eyes darting to the clock.
“It’s getting late, I should probably go home.”
“What?” You pout. “How can you leave me to my own devices like this?!”
“Because I did what I could. I took you through all the material, now it’s up to you to try and memorise it. I’ve sent you my summaries and I’ll leave my flashcards here.” He grabs his things, meticulously stuffing them back into his backpack. With a heavy heart, you hand him his cap that had fallen to the floor.
Jungkook pushes his hair back, putting his cap on. He looks as nonchalant as he did when he came in. Backpack slung over one shoulder, hand shoved into his pocket. “Good luck. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”
“Yeah, I guess,” you mumble. “Thanks.”
“I’m glad my presence was enjoyed.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself, I only endured you because I want to pass.” Part of that is true. Though, he wasn’t as bad to hang out with as you had originally assumed. Maybe it’s because his friends aren’t around to show off to. Or because he genuinely wanted to help. Which is still weird. “Good luck to you too.”
He waves you goodbye, opening up the door, only to be met with a gust of wind. The sound of rain enters your apartment. Water plummets from the sky by the bucket.
“Shit,” Jungkook peers outside, hesitating in the doorway. “If I don’t show up tomorrow morning, please assume that I have drowned.”
You would’ve laughed at the idea of him getting soaking wet any other day. He came here to help you study and now he has to walk home through the rain. No doubt he’s going to catch a cold dressed the way he is. Maybe you should listen to Taehyung and be the better person for once.
Getting up, you pull him back inside by the string of his backpack. “You can’t go out when it’s like that, you’ll get sick.”
He turns with a smile. “As much as I would like to see you squirm a little longer, I need to study too.”
“You study?”
“How else do you think I get good grades? Eat books for breakfast?”
You shrug. “We can study together tonight?”
Stepping closer, Jungkook forces you back inside. Almost nose to nose. Your heart skips a beat when his breath fans over your face. “Is this just a lame excuse from you to spend more time with me?”
“No. But I can only imagine the tragedy that will befall me if you catch a cold because you were out here helping me study.” You poke a finger into his chest. A grave mistake, it’s way firmer than you’d thought. “If I let you stay over, you no longer owe me one.”
“I’m sorry, but it really sounds like you just want me to stay.” Jungkook inches closer, backing you against the couch.
You open your mouth to say something when your phone rings. Looking over to where it lies on the couch, you see Taehyung’s name displayed. He can wait. You glance back up at Jungkook, who’s nearly chest to chest with you, and also has his eyes locked on the phone.
Then, he grins.
You act fast, snatching the phone from the couch and declining the call before he even gets a chance to touch it. Taehyung really doesn’t need to know that Jungkook is here.
Jungkook himself, however, picks up on this. He chuckles lightly, arching his eyebrow. “Are you trying to hide the fact that I’m here?’”
“I wouldn’t say I was trying to hide it, but I really don’t need my friends to think I’m hanging out with you.”
Jungkook drops his bag in the chair again, curious glint in his eyes. “And why is that?”
“Because,” you start, crossing your arms over your chest. “I don’t want to be associated with the likes of you.”
“What am I now? A villain?”
“No, you’re a stuck up fuckboy who does nothing but party and sleep with random girls and yet somehow still manages to pass all his classes. You’re annoying, egotistical, insufferable, pushy, invasive and disrespectful.”  You let out a deep breath. Yeah, maybe Jungkook’s been nice to you today, but he hasn’t changed.
He rolls his eyes. “Well then. I’ll have you know that you are nothing more than an average, boring girl struggling to get by. You’re opinionated, crass, entitled, standoffish, a bad listener, impossibly stubborn and a bit of an airhead.”  The words leave him as if they mean nothing. “It’s not like I’d want to be associated with the likes of you either. But here I am, stranded because of the storm. So you, my dear, are stuck with me tonight. You did offer for me to stay over, after all.”
“Whatever,” you breathe, “let’s just try to study.”
The two of you return to your previous position on the couch, but now, he faces you. With the flashcards in hand, Jungkook reaches into his bag and pulls out a container filled with Maltesers.
The rules are simple. You take turns asking each other questions. If you get it right, you get a chocolate, you get it wrong the person who asked the question gets a chocolate. Easy enough, right? Now that you feel a bit more steady with the material, you should be able to answer some questions correctly. Even if it’s just to rob Jungkook of the satisfaction of eating the entire thing on his own.
Two questions in and the bickering starts. Jungkook’s whining because he’s cold and you can’t turn up the radiator. But since he was the one to leave the door open, it’s his fault that it’s so cold in here to begin with. You’ve long hogged the blanket for yourself and you don’t intend on sharing it. It’s the only barrier that’s keeping you from touching his feet.
“Please,” he pouts. “I’m so cold, you can’t let me freeze to death in this fucking igloo.”
You pull the blanket closer. “No. It’s mine.”
He whines. “Come on, it’s big enough for both of us. It’ll be warmer if we share.”
“No.”
“You do realise I could just take it from you by force.”
“You would not.”
He sits up straighter, putting a hand on the edge of the fabric. “I’m giving you the option now. Either you share, or I’m pulling it from your cold, grabby hands. If you’re just afraid to snuggle with me, you can just say so.”
In order to not admit defeat, you give up half of the blanket so he can shove his legs under it. He extends his legs way past his side of the couch, his feet touching your lower back. You have no choice but to fold one of your legs over his, the other extended by his side. Indeed, it’s warmer this way.
“Now, where were we?” He flips to his next card. “Ah, yes. Weapon focus effect.”
That one you remember clearly. “It’s when a witness’ attention was so focused on the weapon present at the incident that they fail to remember any significant details about the perpetrator. It’s an involuntary process that often leads to inaccurate descriptions of the attackers.” You definitely got that one, no doubt. It’s easy.
Jungkook throws you a chocolate. “Good job, you’re doing well. It seems you listened to what I had to say after all.”
“I mean,” you say, popping the chocolate into your mouth. “I didn’t have that much of a choice but to listen, now did I?”
“You were visually undressing me the entire time. I had assumed your mind was busy with...other things.” He’s doing it on purpose, trying to get some type of reaction from you. Instead, you just bite your lip, not knowing what to say. “Oh, was I right? Tell me, what were you thinking about.”
You let out a sound, throwing a pillow at him. “I wasn’t thinking anything. And I wasn’t undressing you.”
“No, you were thinking of how big my head was, right? Would it,” he pauses, lifting up the blanket to peer underneath, “fit between your thighs?”
“What is wrong with you!” You scream, hands covering your face that quickly turns red.
He laughs in return. “You’re so easily flustered. I’d almost call it cute.”
Peering through your fingers, you frown. “Almost?”
“Yeah, almost. Not quite, because you’re still you.”
In a surge of confidence, you sit up straight and grab the stack of cards again. Not looking at him as you speak. “How about, instead of imagining what I taste like, you tell me what a flashbulb memory is.”
Inches away from choking on his spit, Jungkook doesn’t manage to come up with a smart retort. He just answers your questions with pursed lips and distant eyes. It’s correct though, so you get to throw him a chocolate. Which of course, he catches with his mouth. Show off.
It goes on for another while, storm raging outside. With the winds turned, you can now clearly hear the pattering against your window. You can’t imagine what Jungkook would’ve done had he been walking through this storm. It’s only getting worse.
Time ticks by fast. Soon, Jungkook is left with one last flashcard in his hands. And you are determined to get that last chocolate. He smirks to himself, probably aware that you don’t know the answer to this. But if anything, you are determined to prove him wrong.
“Tell me,” he trails, “what is the difference between compliance and suggestibility?”
You know this. He’s explained it three times. So you’re confident in your next words. “Compliance is when a witness giving a testimony willingly accepts a suggestion but is aware that the suggestion is wrong. Suggestibility is when they believe that the suggestion is right and thus take it for the truth. Both are problematic, but suggestibility is harder to expose.”
Jungkook tuts. “You got them switched around.”
“Huh?! That can’t be right!”
“Sure is, the last chocolate is mine.”
You snatch the bag away before he can grab it. “I don’t think so. Let me see that card.”
“Are you accusing me of lying?”
“For chocolate? I sure am. Let me see.”  You crawl over to his side, squishing yourself between him and the couch. “Jungkook,” you whine when he covers the card with his hand, “let me see. My grade depends on this.”
He chuckles at you. “It does not. I’m confident that you will pass regardless.”
You try to pry the card out of his hand, but it’s no use. The grip he has on the thing is too strong. He manages to hold you down without even breaking a sweat. It’s a few beats before you can realise that you’re now entirely pressed up against him. You can feel the muscles in his thighs shift, the soft skin of his arm against yours
“Let me have the chocolate and I will show you,” he whispers.
Flushed, you stop struggling. “Whatever, I know I’m right.”
Jungkook then reveals the card to you, showing you that you indeed, were right. “I’m glad you’re finally confident in your abilities. That’s the key to passing a test.”
Has he really been testing you this entire time? That’s sure one way to do the trick. Without replying, you sink into his side. Silently enjoying his warmth. It’s comfortable to sit like this, now that it’s night and the apartment continues to get colder. You don’t mind, really. Inhaling slightly, you catch a whiff of his fresh floral scent. It’s mixed with a sharp edge that suits him well.
As Jungkook grabs the stack of cards you got wrong to revise them, you don’t move. The two of you just get comfortable like that. It’s easier to see the cards the way anyhow. You can just look at them together. Plus, you’re starting to feel a little sleepy and don’t want to move. He seems equally as content, just reciting the questions and explaining why you got them wrong.
“Okay so,” you say, pointing at something on the card. “It’s not so much an issue on the witness’ side as it is on the police’s?”
Jungkook nods, looking at you. “They’re the ones leading the witness. It’s not the witness’ fault that they take on their opinion.”
You hum, meeting his gaze. He doesn’t falter, almost as if he’s searching your eyes. “Something wrong?”you ask, voice hushed, goosebumps appearing on the back of your neck. There’s a mole right below his bottom lip which is plump and looks soft. His top lip is more defined, making for a cute pout. The more you look, the more you notice all his moles. On his nostril, his cheek, his ear.
“No,” he answers eventually. Voice strained. “I think you have a pimple growing between your brows.”
“Get lost!” You shove your elbow into his side, pulling a pained groan from him. “You’re so stupid.”
For a moment he’s quiet, just rubbing his side and shifting so he can get more comfortable. One of his legs falls off the couch, the other still between yours. “You really hate me, huh?”
At any other given moment, you would’ve replied with yes. But now, it’s laden. Is he asking you that seriously? It’s one thing to tell Taehyung you can’t stand him, or to yell it in his face when he’s being a brat, but you can’t literally say it to him like this. Why, you don’t really know. The expectant look makes your stomach tighten.
“Why are you saying it like that?”
He shrugs. “No reason in particular. Just because,” he gestures at your bodies, “it doesn’t seem like you mind being around me that much. If anything I’d say that,” he stops, leaning in close to your ear. You can feel the barely-there graze of his lips. “You like being around me.”
You bite your tongue, looking up to find his eyes darker than before. Cocking his head to the side, he awaits your answer. You’re not willing to give him the satisfaction. There’s no need to stroke his already big ego any more. Yes, this is more pleasant than you’d expected. Yes, he’s nice to be around. But... “You’re still a pain in the ass. Sorry.” With that, you had expected him to look away, but he doesn’t. His eyes flicker down to your lips, and back up to your eyes.
“So are you,” he teases, lips stretching into a lopsided grin.
Within a heartbeat, your lips are touching. Jungkook groans. You gasp, pulling him closer. Closed eyes, your heart beats a million miles an hour, revelling in the feeling of his mouth against yours. How soft his lips are. The trailing of his fingertips up your neck so he can crane your head back.
He comes to life, parting with a brief look into your eyes and a deep breath. Then, diving in full force. Jungkook kisses you like he’s been waiting to—like he’s hungry for it. You can barely believe that it’s happening, still trying to register that he’s actually kissing you. That it feels this good.
Your entire body kicks into gear when he bites at your bottom lip. Shifting your body to face his, you wrap a hand around the back of his neck. Returning his fervor, your mouths part and tongues meet in a desperate clash. Jungkook lets out a deep, guttural sound that makes you shiver. He’s skilled, tongue swiping over yours in a way that you can barely keep up with. Deliciously hot, just edging on sloppy. There’s no room for pauses, no time for thoughts.
Gaining purchase against the armrest, you swing a leg over his to sit in his lap. Jungkook’s leaning back still, pawing at your waist now that he’s got full access. You take full advantage of the position, crashing into him and devouring him. Biting at his lips, sucking his tongue into your mouth. The feeling is nearly euphoric paired with the rough, firm touches of his hands all over your body.
He touches anything he can find. Gripping onto your thighs and ass, slipping under your tank top and sweater to graze the skin on your back. Sparks erupt everywhere.
Mid-kiss, he sits up. Twisting so he can firmly plant both his feet on the found. It’s the angle he needs to pull you right against him. Your hips make contact and you moan. He’s not quite hard but he’s certainly getting there and the thought makes your head spin.
“Fuck,” you gasp, breaking away for air while he grids his hips up into yours. “Jungkook—”
“No talking,” he mouths against your jawline. “More kissing,” his voice is so  raspy that it’s barely recognisable. Almost a growl.
You push his cap off. Grabbing his face with both hands and kissing him firmly. Angling his head back the same way he had done to you. Kissing him is way better than you could’ve ever imagined. He’s rougher, stronger, harder against your body. You need more.
Slipping your hands under his shoulder, you lift it. Tracing the hard lines of his chest, feeling how he jumps under your touch. It empowers you, makes you bolder. Your fingers reach a pert nipple, brushing over it only to hear him moan in the back of his throat. God, he keeps on getting better and better. Sensitive it seems, as you roll the bud between your fingers. His hips buck up into yours. Fully hard at this point, he must start to get uncomfortable in those jeans.
Jungkook’s resolve with kissing you slows, needing air. He breaks away with a smirk, cheeks flushed and panting. Holding your gaze steady, he pulls his shirt over his head in one smooth motion. Revealing planes of unmarred skin and tattoos you had yet to discover.
You take no shame in staring, reaching out to trace the dream catcher on his shoulder. Moving along the lines of thread and feathers that reach his elbow.
“Like what you see?” he whispers, pushing you closer with a hand on your lower back just so he can kiss your neck. You shiver, legs spreading. Leaning your head back to give him enough room to mark you up. The thought alone makes you whimper. “What’s that?” he mumbles, licking a hot stripe up your throat.
Fingers digging into his shoulders, you grind down onto him. He moans in response. “Stop being so smug.”
Jungkook throws his head back, looking at you through his lashes as you gyrate your hips more firmly. His body on full display. “I don’t know, it seems like you’re into it.”
“For fucks sake, shut up and kiss me.”
He listens, capturing your mouth with his. Everything moves fast after that. Between tongues and mouths clashing, Jungkook rids you of your sweater. He kisses down your neck and throat, leaving marks and enjoying the way that you quiver for him. You’re soaking through your leggings at this point. Jungkook’s doing no better.
When he pulls away, you take the opportunity to kiss down his neck, collarbones and chest. To get off his lap and kneel between his legs. His eyes widen as you do so. A hand immediately comes up to push your hair aside, tipping your chin upwards. When he traces his thumb over your mouth, you part your lips and swirl your tongue around the digit and bite down, making him hiss.
Spreading his legs to accomodate you, he relaxes against the cushions. Just like little pricks on the edge of your consciousness, you feel the nerves. You question your skills when you undo his jeans and pull them down his legs. Yet, the hazy look in his eyes tells you that he’s going to like this no matter what. He all but arches into you when you palm him through his underwear. Rock hard and leaking through the fabric, you don’t want to wait any longer to finally get your mouth on him. To hear him moan for you.
So you reach past his waistband, foregoing any teasing and pull the fabric down. His cock slaps up against his stomach, making him hiss again. The sight is gorgeous. Jungkook with his head thrown back, hair a mess, chest heaving and flushed even though you’ve barely touched him. It’s satisfying to know you did that to him.
You sit down on your knees, holding him in one hand and go slow. Mouthing at him first, giving him just a taste of what’s to come. He doesn’t hold back for you, reddened lips parting with all the noises he lets out. When you take the tip into your mouth, he jolts—groans and reaches to anchor himself on your shoulder. You have one hand on his thigh, the other around the base. That way, you steady yourself when you sink down on him.
“Don’t—Fuck, keep going.” A gentle hand winds into your hair, guiding you further onto his cock. You’re not usually one to do this but, seeing him feel this good spurs you on. It makes you want to take all of him. You don’t stop when he hits the back of your throat, gag reflex kicking in. He moans at the feeling, so you try to swallow. “Shit, fuck, don’t do that. Your mouth,” he pants, “so good.”
Feeling his grip loosen, you pull up, taking a deep breath when you let him out of your mouth. Spit dribbles from your mouth to the head, tears sting at the corners of your eyes. You look up, giving him the full vision, and you don’t look away when you sink down again.
You’re so wet. Core aching but unable to find any sort of relief. You end up trying to grind your hips without any payoff. Meanwhile, you start a steady rhythm. Hollowing out your cheeks and using your tongue on the underside. It works. You have him moaning out your name in seconds. His hand tightens in your hair again, not to force you, but spurring you on to take him a little deeper each time. Right until your nose hits his stomach. You hold there, to let him feel the flex of your throat one more time. Just so he remembers it. Then you take your rhythm back up, a little faster, a little tighter. Your jaw starts to hurt, but it’s worth it. To feel his thighs start to tremble and his stomach clench. How he tightens his hold on your hair, moans pitching every time you pass your tongue right under the head.
Your lungs are burning, but you can’t help but feel addicted to him. Sucking him harder and feeling him near that edge. You dig your nails into his thigh, breathing in through your nose. Jungkook’s hip start moving just a little, enough to startle you.
“‘M close,” he moans. “Fuck, can I—in your mouth. Shit.” He runs a hand through his hair, browns furrowed deep. When he opens his eyes you shiver. His lids are heavy, pupils blown and cheeks red. Just like his lips—he sinks his teeth into his bottom one when you resume.
He takes it as a yes, unable to stop his hips from pushing up. You let him take control, holding yourself still, hands on his thighs. Jungkook’s breathing picks up, moans mixing into one drawn out sound. You meet his eyes, mouth stuffed with his cock. That’s all he needed. He twitches and cums into your mouth. The taste is bitter and harsh on your tongue. You close your eyes, focused on the feeling of his body trembling. You’re the one who did that to him.
When he lets you go and you pull off him, he gives you a fuck-out yet expectant look. A cocky arch of his eyebrow when he sees your bulged cheeks. Waiting for you to swallow.
Instead, you reach for his mug that sits on the edge of the table and spit into it. Flinching at the leftover taste.
Jungkook nudges you with his knee. “Why are you like this?”
You set his cup down and reach for your own, take a big gulp of now-cold coffee. “I’m not swallowing your jizz.” The thought of doing that alone makes you want to puke.
“Don’t call it that.”
Rolling your eyes, you stand up on wobbly legs. “I just had it in my mouth, so I can call it whatever I want.”
Jungkook mimics your eyeroll. “Fine.” He pats your thigh. “Pants off.”
“What?”
He lies down on the couch. Surely he doesn’t expect you to ride him after you just fucked up your throat for him? What an ass. “You heard me, naked now. Chop chop.” He motions for you to hurry up and you just give him a blank stare. “Ugh, come here.”  Jungkook sits up just slightly again and pulls you closer by your waistband. He gives you a brief look. “Unless you don’t wanna get naked?”
You chuckle, pushing at his hands to get him to slide your leggings off. A hand slips between your thighs to touch you. Rubbing you through the fabric, your knees nearly buckle. He’s nonchalant about it, lying back, eyes focused between your legs. Yet, he’s too accurate, easily finding his target.
“Jungkook,” you whine, grabbing onto the back of the couch.
He smirks. “Let’s take these off too.” The snap of your panties to your hip pulls you back. You shove them down, taken aback by the feeling of a hand grabbing your thigh. You’re about to question him, when he scoots further back on the couch and lifts your leg past his body. “Have a seat.”
Mind absolutely blank, you let him guide you to sit over his face. You’re dripping and he can see it—feel it probably from the way you just grazed his chest. A small moan leaving your lips when he reaches up to kiss your stomach.
“Don’t be shy,” he chuckles. “I’ve got you.”
You shift forward, holding onto the back of the couch. His hands come up to your thighs, pulling you even higher so he can slot his mouth onto your core. You can’t help but moan.
Noisy. Jungkook is so noisy. He sucks your lips into his mouth, teethes at them until you’re shaking. You struggle to hold your hips still, the need to grind into him too strong. And he does nothing to stop you. No, he urges you on. Looking up at you with those big eyes and nodding against you. Jungkook opens his mouth, tongue darting out to tease at your clit just briefly. Then, the reigns are all yours.
He holds you by the hips so you can hesitantly start moving. You shiver. It feels so good; the wet warmth of his mouth against your core. He follows you, hands pawing at your thighs, hips, and ass. With eyes closed, Jungkook eats you out like he’s been dying to do it. There’s no teasing, no playing—he’s straight to the point. You move over his tongue as he sucks on your cunt, nibbling and flicking whenever he gets the chance. Anything else is irrelevant. The sight of his head blissed out between your thighs is all you can focus on.
The pleasure spikes, shooting up your spine and filling you with warmth. It’s embarrassing how fast he gets you on the edge. How good he is. The way he occasionally stops you to take that bundle of nerves between his lips and suck on it until you’re screaming—it’s mind blowing. Your entire body is on fire, sweat drips down your back. His name falls from your lips in cries that echo throughout the room. Louder than the storm raging against the window.
“Jungkook, I’m—” you pant, unable to finish your sentence with the moans that he pulls from you. Incapable of thinking from the second he swirls his tongue around your entrance and presses inside. You halt all your movements. Nails dug deeply into the couch, you reach for his hair with your other hand. He moans when you grip it tightly, his own fingers tightening around your hips. “Don’t stop.”
He alternates between fucking his tongue into you and sucking on your clit. The intensity is almost too much. The irregularity keeps you on your toes and has you nearly teetering over the edge. You just need to—Jungkook reaches behind you and plunges two fingers into your sopping core. The sensation of being filled along with his tongue flicking over you has your eyes rolling back. Everything goes white.
You double over on the couch, unable to keep yourself up and smothering him in the process. Trembling in his hold, he helps you slowly ride out your high. Short, gentle movements against his mouth. The rocking of your hips is as involuntary as the way your body keeps shaking when he lets you go. Breath high in your throat, you chuckle.
“Good god.” You fall down when he slips out from underneath you.
As you twist towards him, Jungkook wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, crawling over you. All your limbs still feel like jelly, your mind swimming. “Yeah, that good?”
You hum, eyes closing. Wanting to lie down, you turn on your back, hearing a sharp thud.
“Shit,” Jungkook gasps. He’s grasping his chin with a laugh.
A few seconds pass before you feel the soreness in your knee. “Ugh, I’m so sorry,” you whine, reaching up to touch him. But he has other plans. Jungkook surges down smiling, pressing your mouths together for the first time in what feels like hours. The stickiness on his face doesn’t go unnoticed. The reminder that he just ate you out, that he’s the one who made you cum that hard. You moan when you taste yourself on his tongue.
He kisses you deeply, smiling against your mouth. You finally get rid of your tank top, now fully naked. He mouths over your chest, twisting your nipples, spreading your legs so that he can fit between them. Pressing himself against you, hard and waiting. “Can you go again?” he asks, pulling away and searching your eyes.
You still feel floaty, but the sensation of his hard cock pressing against your thigh has you quivering. “Yeah.”  You’re aching to feel him inside, so you tilt your hips up towards him. Spreading your legs wider and inviting him.
“Wait,” you blurt, eyes flying open and pressing a hand against his chest. He stops with his hand around his dick, just about ready to slide home. “Condom.”
Jungkook curses, looking around the room. He locates his jeans that lie in a pile with his shirt and boxers. The fact that he’s actually got a condom in there is uncanny.
“You’ve got to be kidding me?”  You joke.
He shrugs. “I wore these jeans while going out last night.”
“You’re disgusting!” You slap his arm lightly, but he just chuckles in return. He knows just as well as you do that you’re waiting for him to fuck you. The clenching of your core attests to that.
No time is wasted, Jungkook puts the condom on and lines himself up. “You good?”  
You nod. “Just go slow.”
The slight oversensitivity just makes it feel even better. He stretches you out so perfectly. You feel every inch, every stutter of his hips as he goes deeper. Way deeper than you’d expected. Until his hips meet yours and he curses, burying his face into your neck.
“You feel good,” he mumbles, kissing your skin.
“You too.” Trailing your fingers up his back, you wait for your body to adjust to him. To feel yourself relax and pull for more. That tell-tale need for movement, friction. Jungkook holds steady, hips barely moving. “Go,” you say when your stomach clenches. “Move. Fuck me like you mean it.”
Jungkook growls, grasping onto the couch. Pulling out and slamming back in full force. You slide up the cushions, so fast you grasp onto him for support. Fingernails digging into his back, legs wrapping around his waist, you keen at the pleasure. Each thrust is better than the last. Harder, more precise.
Your back arches off the couch, mouth agape. Pleasure is constant, like your body is vibrating with it. Jungkook mouths at your neck, sucking, biting—teeth playfully tugging at your ear just to whisper something dirty that you can barely comprehend. Your mind can’t make sense of anything but his dick pumping inside of you. His hips slapping against yours and his mouth against your skin.
Until he kisses you. His mouth messily connecting with yours, movements slowing. With a hand on your ass, he hikes you up the couch, angling your body so that he can press your legs to your chest. Just like that, he picks up. Starting off slow, still kissing you, tongue laving over yours almost sweetly. You shiver, the slow drag of his cock as delicious as the harsh assault. He changes angles, just a hair, but it’s enough for him to graze that part inside of you that makes you see stars.
Throwing your head back, you moan. Fingers sliding through the sweat on his back, up to tangle into his hair, gripping tight. He groans. Head falling onto your shoulder, hips stuttering against yours.
“You like that?” you whisper into his ear, tongue darting out to flick at a pierced lobe.
He nods, teeth sinking into your shoulder as you pull hard. Hips picking up, chasing the pleasure.
Hearing him moan like that. So unabashed and loud, only adds to your pleasure. Toes curling, you close your eyes and let your head fall back. Hips meeting him thrust for thrust, helping him reach even deeper inside of you. To hit that spot every single time. Jungkook has perfected that balance between smooth and hard. Never slamming rough enough to jolt you, yet firm enough to make you capable of sounds you were unaware of. Rhythmic, never stopping or slowing. So constant you can’t do anything but fall into motion with him.
Bodies syncing up. Hands finding places to touch.  Nipples, lips, thighs, waists, hair. He is holding you spread open for him, your thighs starting to ache. But it’s worth it, because soon, you feel the pleasure spike.
Your stomach tightens, tingling at the base of your spine. “Jungkook,” you moan.
He answers by looking up, lips bitten red and parted.
“Can you,” you can’t finish the sentence, moaning and closing your eyes. Tapping his hand on your thigh is enough though. He releases you, instead pulling your legs around his waist. Closer like this, his chest slides over yours. It gives you just enough space to reach between your bodies and touch yourself.
He looks down at the sensation, cursing at the sight of your fingers playing with your clit while his cock slides in and out of you. The angle doesn’t let you do the same, but you can hear the slick slide clearly. You can feel it dripping down your ass.
The added pleasure is enough to put you on the edge, fast. “I’m gonna—Jungkook!” you yelp when he leans down and sucks a nipple into his mouth. “Fuck.” One hand between your bodies, the other holding his hair.
In seconds, your high hits you. Hard. Your entire body locks up, so much that Jungkook lets out a strangled moan. Fluttering around him he joins you in your peak. Thrusts stilling, pressed deep inside of you. He spills into the condom as you rut your hips, still coming down.
Spent bodies collapse onto the couch, Jungkook refusing to pull out immediately. He’s basking in the feeling of your aftershock, walls still clenching ever so slightly. You can’t blame him. It feels good. Having him inside of you as he lies down, pulling your hips against his, kissing you. His mouth is tender, laving over yours without much hurry. A hand combing through your hair, softly humming, smiling.
He finally pulls out, leaving you feeling empty and slightly sore. Grunting, he ties the condom and makes a show of throwing it into the same mug you used earlier. It makes him grin.
“I’m throwing that mug out.”
“You really don’t have to.”
“Oh, I really do. It’s been tainted beyond remedy. I’m not drinking from that, ever again.”
Jungkook presses his nose against your temple, still grinning like a fool. “You’re so weird.”
You snort. “Says the guy who just three-point shot a condom into a mug full of cum.”
No reply follows, only comfortable silence. Jungkook and you just lie like that for a while. Bodies coming down, breaths evening out, enjoying each other. Slightly sticky with sweat, you let him grab the blanket and throw it over you. Your heart swells.
Could it be possible that you’re not the only one who feels something more? Deep down, you’ve always known he’s not just an asshole. You’ve just never seen that side of him before today. All this time you’ve tried to ignore it. To not let yourself fall for that trap. A guy like him isn’t supposed to be good. Yet, maybe you were wrong about him. And maybe, he feels the same way about you.
Taehyung isn’t gonna let you hear the end of this, but you can’t help but wonder if there is an opportunity for more between you and Jungkook?
“You know,” he says after a while, “We should definitely do this again.”
Your heart shatters. That’s it. Reality crashing down on you. Of course Jungkook doesn’t feel anything for you. He’s just out for sex and you should’ve known.
You scramble up from the couch. Jungkook sputters out something you can’t quite catch, trying to grab a hold of you. “Don’t touch me,” you spit. “I can’t believe you.” Grabbing your panties and pulling them on alongside your sweater, you put distance between the two of you. “Is that what I am to you? Just another cunt to fuck?”
Jungkook’s hastily putting on his boxers, standing up, eyes wide. He opens his mouth, but you don’t care to listen.
“That’s why you were really here, right? To get into my pants. That’s why you had the condom on you.” It’s all falling together now. How could you have been so stupid? “All the fucking whining about Yoongi, but you’re no better than him.”
“Stop,” he rushes, shaking his head. “Listen to me—“
“Don’t!” you call when he reaches for you, grabbing you by the wrists and forcing you to look at him. You try to wriggle away, but he’s holding you steady.
“Listen,” he tries again. “I—“
You shove at his chest. “Let me go, Jungkook. Fucking let me go.”
He obeys, arms falling limply beside his body. Expression going soft when he sees you’re crying. “Please hear me out.”
“No, Jungkook. You don’t get it. I have feelings for you. Real, non-sexual feelings. I don’t just want to be another girl on your checklist.” There it is. Out with the truth. Your breaths come out short and ragged. Harshly wiping your tears, you grab your leggings off the floor. Jungkook just stares at you. “I was stupid to fall for this act.” It’s true. He doesn’t date. Sex. That’s it. You should’ve known, you should’ve protected yourself. Should’ve never let him weasel his way into your heart.
Jungkook deflates, head falling, hair shielding his eyes. “I’m sorry that you think of me this way.”
What a pretentious prick. “Forget it Jungkook, I’m not buying it.” You look outside, rain still pouring down the window. “You know where everything is. I want you out before sunrise.” You turn your back on him and storm into your bedroom, slamming the door closed.
The contents of your cabinet click, something falling to the floor. Your tears only get worse. Feeling the cold of your room wrap around your worn out body. To feel the remnants of him still cling to your skin. The marks, the soreness, and the scent. God, you’re so dumb. You want to call Taehyung, to hear his voice and have him comfort you. But it’s two in the morning and his sleep schedule is shaky enough as it is.
So you just opt for a shower, stripping and getting under the hot spray to wash away whatever you can. You douse yourself in your favourite clementine scented body wash. But it does nothing to clean the fresh tears. Nothing can. The realisation that your feelings for Jungkook had gone way past crush hurts. You let your guard down and he drove a knife into your back.
Sleep, you think. You need sleep. You need to rid yourself of these thoughts and feelings. Wake up tomorrow and just pretend like this never happened. Even if you know it’ll be evident. You can pretend.
You dry off and brush your teeth. Three times to be precise. Ending up in bed wrapped in your favourite teddy sweater, warm and cosy. Your chest still aches with tears that no longer fall. Heart heavy. Like you miss him close to you.
There’s not much you can do but close your eyes and will your mind to shut off. You don’t want to think about him anymore.
The creaking of your door opening startles you right as you’re drifting off. He better be joking. You refuse to move, holding tightly onto the blanket, hoping that he’s just checking in on you and will leave. You hear the door click closed, and then the bed dips.
You hold your breath. Jungkook doesn’t speak. He lifts the covers so he can scoot under them and pull you against his chest. It’s not a tight hold, but it’s there. A strong arm draped over your waist, legs grazing yours as you pretend to be asleep. The feather-light gaze of his lips against your neck makes fresh tears appear in your eyes.
“Jungkook,” you croak.
He shushes you. “I know you’re upset with me. I just don’t want you to be alone when you’re feeling like this. We can talk in the morning—if you want. For now, just get some rest.”
It’s true. You shouldn’t be alone, crying yourself to sleep. Even if he’s the one that caused it. You just don’t want to let yourself trust the gesture. He’s probably trying to make you feel less angry. Even if it doesn’t work, it’s appreciated, ill intent or not. Having someone here is calming, letting you fall into an unruly slumber.
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The next morning, you wake up in his embrace. Closer, back pressed to his chest. His nose nuzzles into your hair. It’s so nice. Warm. Soothing. He’s a good cuddler.
Then, your entire body stiffens. The previous night coming back to you in flashes. Your bodies entwined on the couch, moans bouncing off the wall. You swallow tightly, lifting his arm.
“Hey,” Jungkook whispers. He must’ve already been awake, reaching for your hand and giving it a small squeeze. “Should I go?”
Yes. “No,” you mumble. You need answers. To make the story whole before you force him out of your life for good.
“Do you want to—”
“Why do you always act like such a dick around me?”
Jungkook takes a deep breath. “Because you won’t give me the time of day otherwise.”
You still, practically holding your breath so that you can hear every word.
“Every time I’m nice to you, you pretend like I don’t exist. When I push your buttons,” he sighs, “that’s when I get your attention.”
Attention? He wants your attention? Your mind’s running circles, afraid to turn around and see the look in his eyes and get swayed. Feel remorse for the pain you hear lined in his voice. That you can feel in the trembling of his hand encasing yours.
“Can you at least say something?” he asks.
“I don’t know what you want me to say.”
He sits up, the mattress shifting and your eyes closing tightly.  “Sit up, please.”  Grabbing your arm, Jungkook gets you to reluctantly sit up and face him. Though you won’t look at him, eyes on your knees that nearly touch his. You notice that he’s still in his boxers, but he’s at least wearing a shirt. He doesn’t force you to look at him when he starts speaking again. “I want to be honest with you.” He toys with the edge of your sheets. “But if you’re not going to listen to the whole story it’s not worth telling you.”
Your heart hammers. Tears threaten to fall. Taking a deep breath gives away your nerves. You want to tell him he can’t ask that of you. That he doesn’t deserve that. But if there’s even a slight chance of a misunderstanding—something your heart hopes for—you have to hear him out. Even if it’ll hurt. “Okay.”
“Thank you,” he mumbles. He’s nervous too. Breath shaky like his body, nearly curled in on himself. You never thought you’d see him this vulnerable. “Honestly, when I first met you, I was intrigued by you because I couldn’t have you. You just held up your nose every time I as much as looked your way. It made me want to know more about you. And the moment I did, it was over for me. I realised that you’re not just opinionated, crass, and entitled. You’re smart, a hard worker, and you’re such a good friend.”
You finally dare to look up. To see the desperate look in his eyes as he pauses. Shocked.
“I admire you,” he whispers.
“What?” you blurt. “You’re the one with the straight A’s, not me.”
He shakes his head in defeat, biting his lip and looking away. “The only reason I’m getting straight A’s is because I’ve taken these classes before. I’m not like you, I don’t work hard. I should be studying like you.”
You frown. “What do you mean, you’ve done them before? Do you already have a law degree?”
Jungkook avoids your eyes. “When I got out of high school at the age of seventeen, I got into a big university with a scholarship. The full ride. But I was stupid,” he croaks. “I wanted to fully enjoy the college ride. So I studied just enough to get by and dedicated the rest of my time to partying.” He says it like he’s disgusted with himself. Muscles in his neck tightening as he swallows impending tears. “I got arrested for underage drinking and lost the entire scholarship. Everything I had worked so hard for, down the drain.”
The words leave him pained, the regret for his past decisions clear in his eyes. Yet, he’s still here, studying this degree you know most students can’t afford. You have a scholarship too.
“So yeah,” he breathes. “I wish I had a little more discipline like you. I admire that you’re able to put school first. As much as I pretend to hate you just to get your attention, I like being around you. You’re a positive influence on people, including me.”
“So it’s my fault? For judging you?”
Jungkook’s eyes widen. “No, not at all. As I said, I was being an ass on purpose because I was curious about you. But when I got to know you,” he cocks his head to the side, “feelings happened. I just couldn't find a way to show you the better sides of myself. Which is partially why I showed up yesterday.”
“Huh,” you frown. So he did have ulterior motives? “How does that change anything? You still showed up here to sleep with me.” He’s talking in circles. You feel remorse for him, but you tell yourself to stay strong. His past doesn’t excuse his actions.
“I really wasn’t planning on sleeping with you. I wouldn’t do that to you. There just was no other way to get you to spend time alone with me. I wanted to show you a better side of me, hoping that you’d realise I’m not all bad and maybe would give me a chance.” A chance to what? “I like you,” he adds when you don’t respond, “a lot.”
What? He can’t be serious. After everything that happened.
“But I also care about you. I like being around you—bickering included. I genuinely wanted to help. I know how hard it is to start again, I didn’t want to see you go through that.”
You go silent. Trying to think over his words and not see the bad. To believe that he means it. He did help you after all. He studied with you for hours, never insinuating anything sexual. He was nice, comforting and believed in you. You never asked for any of that. And after all, you kissed him too. You could’ve stopped it. If he had just wanted sex, he wouldn’t be here.
But he is. “Jungkook, I’m so sorry,” you say, grabbing his hand.
“I’m the one who’s sorry. For making you feel used. I should’ve just been honest with you.” Jungkook laces your fingers together. “I know it was a dick move on my side to sleep with you. I shouldn’t have said what I said.”
“I played as much of a part in it as you did. So let’s just—how about we call it even. Bury the hatchet?” You cock your head to the side, rubbing your thumb over the back of his hand. It won’t be easy, you’ll need to do a lot of thinking, but your heart wants to forgive him. To see more of his gentler side.
He nods, lifting up your hand and pressing his lips against your knuckles. “Sounds good to me.”
The two of you get up after that, even if it’s a little awkward. It’s weird to not be bickering with him. You’re surprised that he actually cleaned the living room last night. There’s not a trace of him left aside from his clothes that are carefully folded on the table. Even that mug is gone.
“What do you want to eat?” you ask, reaching to the top shelve for another mug.
Jungkook comes closer. “Just coffee is okay for now.”
You turn, almost bumping into his chest, blushing heavily. Now that he knows you have feelings for him, he’s enjoying himself just a little too much. Smiling at you while you’re making coffee and some cereal for yourself. You eat in silence, browsing through your phone.
It’s when you get up to clean, that Jungkook speaks again.
“Hey,” he says, grabbing you back by the waist.
“Hi?” You turn around in his grip.
“You know,” he starts, hand coming up to brush your hair behind your ear. “As much as I regret what I said yesterday, I did mean it.”
“What?” You chuckle lightly. “You want to do that again?”
He nods, and you catch a faint redness dusting his cheeks. “I do, a lot of times, if you want.”
You laugh, twisting away from him to put the dishes in the sink. “If that is your way of you asking me to be your girlfriend, Jungkook, then I must say you’re not quite hitting the right angle. Seeing what happened yesterday.” He can’t seriously be thinking you just want him for sex after all that. You start cleaning, even if it’s just to avoid having to look at him and admit that you’re shy. Thinking about what happened last night—the good parts.
Sighing, he turns off the tap that you had just turned on.
“Hey!” You turn it back on, only to have him shut it off again. “What do you want?”
“I’m not saying that I want you to be my girlfriend. I don’t think I’m ready for that just yet.” He leans in, brushing his nose against yours, searching your eyes like he’d done the night before. Like he’s waiting for permission.
You couldn’t resist him even if you tried. So you kiss him, just briefly. “Then what are you ready for, big boy?”
He laughs. “For starters, I would love to take you out for dinner after the exam that’s in,” he looks up at the clock, “six hours.”
You groan, throwing your head back. “Don’t remind me.” It’s probably a wiser decision to take some time to think. See how you feel about this, but dinner won’t hurt. “I will still need some time to think about,” you gesture between you two, “whatever this is.”
“Oh,” his face falls. “Yeah, I get that. I just thought that—since you said you have feelings for me too.” Jungkook pouts. He fucking juts out his bottom lip and you haven’t seen anything more endearing in your entire life. Your heart does a weird little flip, and you know that you’re a goner. Even more so than you had been before last night.
Now you know that he is good. That he is worthy of a chance. So why not give it? Why would you sit around and let your mind think all sorts of negative things about him if you can give him the chance to prove to you that he’s a great guy. As he said, it’s just a date. Not a label. Yet.
When he turns away, you pull him back by his hand, slamming your lips to his. He grunts, both hands coming up to thread through your hair. The kiss isn’t deep. It isn’t anything like the way you kissed last night. It sweeps you off your feet, so tender and warm. When he pulls away, you’re out of breath and you can see the adoration in his eyes. You hope he can see it in yours.
Then, he pinches your butt.
You push at his chest. “Thanks for reminding me that you’re still an annoying brat.”
He chuckles, giving you a peck on the lips. “But you like me that way.”
“Sadly,” you grumble, winding your arms around his neck. “I do.”
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Thanks to: @/fallinforkoo @knjkitten​ @yoongs-jeontae​ @wintaejk​ @guksweet​ @rynofpentacles​ @mikroparadise​ @jeonggukkiepabo​ @softlyjiminie​ Requested by: @/fallinforkoo + @hornyjailbonk​ + 3x Anonymous Taglist: @jiminskth​ @teresaisla​​ @yeontanie21​​ @tessanator97​​ @ladyartemesia​ @dayjeons​​ @djasheyash99​​ @the-rise-of-bangtan-boyz​​ @bbangtanlove95​ @zeharilisharaban​ @jungkooksgoodgirl​​ @topanga27​​ @pjmochii​​ @iwanttohitmyself​​ @veryuniquenamegoeshere​​ @bel-abysse​​ @jiminsreads​​ @jungkookspromise​​
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© GguksGalaxy 2020 This is a work of fiction and is in no way meant to give an accurate representation of the idols included. Please do not steal, copy, redistribute or take uncredited inspiration from my work. 
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atlafan · 3 years
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Juvenile and Family Law, is it something that a kid dreams of practicing? No, not really. Is that where the big bucks are if you’re not interested in taxes and wills? Yes, it is. College is expensive, and so is law school; gotta pay it off somehow. It takes a while to build your clientele, a lot of it is word of mouth. You work your way up, and slowly but surely, build a good reputation for yourself. And if you’re lucky, you’ll make partner.
Harry Styles is good at his job, and is on the brink of making partner at his firm. Gallagher, Hilson & Associates Family Law is a great place to work. Isaiah Gallagher and Maria Hilson are two incredible lawyers, and the other associates Harry works with aren’t too bad either. He doesn’t always love working nearly sixty hours a week, and some of the cases he handles have caused him to see the bottom of one too many bottles, but other than that, he’s happy.
Family Law means working all kinds of cases. Custody, spousal support, paternity, and divorce. All of those cases are messy, rarely are they clean cut. Harry happens to specialize in divorce, which in turn can lead to all of the other things listed above. What’s worse is that a lot of his clients will often flirt with him, so he’s started to wear a fake wedding band to ward off any and all inappropriate behavior. It doesn’t happen every time, but it was often enough that he decided to find a way to just avoid the unwanted attention.
Due to how many hours he works a week, Harry’s social life is a little lackluster. By the time he gets home work, all he wants to do is kick his shoes off, plop down on the couch with some greasy Chinese food, and catch up on some television. He lives in a nice enough building in the city. His apartment has one bedroom, and one and half baths. On Friday nights, he’ll go out with some of the other associates for a drink, so he gets a bitof social time in. He’s not lonely, he actually quite enjoys the quiet and solitude. He’s got a cat, Gerry, short for Geraldine that he takes care of. He has what he needs, and he’s perfectly content.
Whenever he dates, people always want to talk about his work. The last thing Harry wants to talk about after a long day at work, is more work. So, he sticks to meaningless hookups, and his own hand, when he needs that type of release.
He doesn’t have too much to complain about. He’s thirty, and massively successful. Some of his friends still live at home while working retail jobs, not that he’s judging. He was twenty-six when he moved out, and he’s grateful his parents let him stay rent free so he could save up for his own place. He doesn’t like to compare himself to others, but it makes him feel good to know he’s all set. He works hard, yes, but it’s all worth it.
//
With how quiet his personal life is, it’s hard to imagine Harry being a shark in the courtroom, but he is. He’s a master in the art of persuasion and rhetoric. Having been a communication major in his undergrad career, and all. He knows how to read a room, and how to read people. The jury is just an audience waiting to watch a live performance. His theater minor also comes in handy here. Being a lawyer is an act, a role he plays. He knows how to play the part when it’s in a large courtroom, or when it’s just a small meeting in a conference room to divide up assets. It’s not always easy, but he makes it look that way. Harry typically wins most of his cases, and when it’s something small, he’s usually able to get his client the majority of what they asked for. Every customer leaves happy.
These skills can’t all be taught and learned. Some people are born with natural talent, skills they learn to hone in on and perfect. It’s a craft that Harry has worked on for years. Again, he’s only thirty, but because he has such precision and talent, it makes him the hot commodity. The office is constantly getting calls for him. It’s why they want him to become the next partner. Having his name on the plaque as you enter would surely put people at ease. Isaiah and Maria saw potential in Harry from the beginning, and they feel lucky that he’s one of their associates.
There other very qualified associates as well, like Niall – who specializes in custody cases – he’s well on his way up. There’s Candice – who specializes in prenuptial agreements – she got into the lawyer game a little later in life, but she’s as sharp as a whip, and shouldn’t be underestimated. And lastly, there’s Byron – who specializes in paternity cases – he thinks he’s going to be the next partner because he’s a bit full of himself.
Harry and Niall are the closest in age, so they hang out more often. They both really like baseball, and will go to a game or two during the season. Candice is the surrogate mother figure. She has no children of her own, she’s the fun aunt to her nieces and nephews, but she feels oddly maternal towards Harry and Niall. The boys often call her “Ma”, instead of her actual name, and she loves it. She looks out for them, and there when they need someone to listen. She’s fifty-seven, and enjoys baking in her free time. She often brings the boys homemade muffins on Monday mornings, and they adore her for it.
Byron…well…Byron is a forty-year-old womanizer who totally clashes with Harry. Does Harry have one-night stands? Yes. Does he ever lie to his partners? No. Byron enjoys playing the game in all facets, and Harry never takes part in it. Needless to say, Harry hates when he has to partner with him on a case, and avoids it when he can.
Isaiah and Maria each have their own executive assistant, or para: Michele and Kyla. They’re both in their late twenties, and rocking it. Harry only interacts with them over email. He, Candice, Niall, and Byron all share the same administrator: Ronnie. Ronnie is twenty-six, friendly, and organized. She doesn’t have time to help everyone on their briefs, but that’s what interns are for, and there’s an abundance of them circling throughout the office.
Harry has a nice office. Plenty of natural light from the windows, he has a desk riser so he can stand up periodically, and he even has his own mini fridge. (He’s often paranoid about people taking his Bubbly, so he just brought in his own fridge.) He’s got a decent enough view of the city; he likes it best at night when the twinkling lights come through. It reminds him of how lucky he is to be where he is in life. He knows he’s more fortunate than others, so he tries to be grateful. He gives back when he’s able, donate to different scholarship funds and whatnot.
Harry is a good man.
//
On a particularly cloudy morning, Ronnie lets Harry know his 10AM consult has arrived. He didn’t know much about his new potential client, but he was always willing to hear someone out. He stands up from his desk, and waits for the woman to enter.
In walks a young woman wearing an expensive, red pantsuit, black heels, and a dark red lipstick. She gives a soft smile to Ronnie before she closes the door. Harry walks over to her, extending his hand.
“Hi, I’m Harry.”
“Mira.” She shakes his hand.
“Please, have a seat.” He gestures to the two seats on the other side of his desk and they both sit. “What brings you to my office today?”
“I heard you’re a pretty good divorce lawyer, and I need a divorce.”
“Is your spouse aware that you’re seeking counsel?”
“No.” She shakes her head and swallows. “I…I’d be putting myself in danger if he knew I wanted to leave him.”
“What kind of danger? If he’s physically abusive, then you need to- “
“He doesn’t put his hands on me like that. It’s…I don’t love him, and I never have. I was essentially…I was sold to him; it was an arranged marriage. I thought maybe I could learn to like him, to love him, but it’s been three years, and I can’t stand him. I need legal help.”
“What do you mean you were sold to him? Were you a child bride? Were you sex trafficked?”
“No.” She chews on her bottom lip. “He made a deal with my father. Thomas got me in exchange for…something. I can’t get into what exactly with you just yet.”
“Does he think you’re happy?”
“Yes.” She nods. “Well, for the most part. I do my thing, and he does his. His job keeps him pretty busy, and I often pretend to be asleep when he gets home. He doesn’t satisfy my needs, so to speak, and I’ve given up on trying. I want to be freed from him.” She pulls out a packet of paper from her purse, and gives it to Harry. “That’s a copy of the contract he and my father signed when they made the deal. I’m not great with legal jargon. I thought maybe if you decide to take me on you could look that over and tell me if there’s any way, I can get out of this.”
“Are you over eighteen?”
“Yes, well over.”
“And were you over eighteen when you were married?”
“Yes.”
“Then how could your father barter you?”
“Where I come from…it can just be like that. The goods we get in exchange for my hand outweighed my happiness.”
“I’m so sorry.” Harry frowns. “My services aren’t exactly cheap.”
“I wouldn’t expect them to be. I can pay top dollar, if that’s what you require. I have money of my own.”
“Alright.” Harry sets the packet of papers onto his desk. “I’ll take a look at that soon, and give you a call.”
“Does that mean you’re taking me on?”
“I hate to see such a nice person be so unhappy.” Harry frowns. “I got into this business to help people, so I’ll help you, Mira.”
“Oh, thank you so much.” She smiles. “There are going to be some things in that contract that may shock you, so please don’t hesitate to call me directly with your questions.” She takes out a business card from her purse. “There’s all of my contact information. If anyone other than myself contacts you regarding all of this, don’t say a word.”
“Don’t worry, I’m good at keeping things confidential.”
“I heard you’re a very trustworthy attorney.” She nods, and stands to her feet. Harry does the same. “Thank you for taking the time to listen.” She extends her hand, and he takes it to shake.
“Of course, it’s what I’m here for.” He smiles and opens the door. He watches her leave, maybe for a little too long.
[DARK SIDED, COMING TO PATREON ON SATURDAY, OCTOBER 2ND @ 8AM EST] [Ask]
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winterscaptain · 3 years
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advocate.
Aaron Hotchner x Gender Neutral Reader a joyful future fic
a/n: the very first part of ajf! the beginning of our story! oh my goodness! this got a little long, but there was a lot i wanted to pack in here. thank you all for your patience as i worked through this <3 i’ve got some fun graphics in here for you - open them for best quality!
words: 8.45k warnings: language, alcohol use, canon-typical descriptions of injury and violence, mention of suicide
summary: “our ambition should be to rule ourselves, the true kingdom for each one of us; and true progress is to know more, and be more, and to do more.” - oscar wilde. au!july-september 2007
masterlist | a joyful future masterlist | ajf faq | requests closed!
“Director Shepard?” 
You approach her, feeling very young, with a question and a smile. 
She turns, smiling at you softly. “Yes?”
Her lecture was immaculate - she covered a broad swath of topics - being the first female director of NCIS, her history in international relations and liaison work with British and Israeli intelligence - all of which paved a bit of a roadmap for success in federal law enforcement. 
You introduce yourself and shake her hand. “I’ve gotta tell you it was a challenge to choose between agencies in my applications, I admire your work both as an agent and director of NCIS and I was wondering…” 
You lose your nerve a bit, but steel yourself again and ask. 
“... Would you be willing to meet with me and talk about your career trajectory a little more?”
There’s a light in her eyes as she studies you with a kind of supreme benevolence and gentleness. “I would.” 
+++
“Alright,” she says, setting her napkin in her lap. “What do you want to know?” 
You laugh a little, “Is everything a good place to start?”
She laughs, and you’re immediately drawn to her warmth. There’s a kind of fire in her, and it doesn’t just come from her hair. “Not at all. Though I’ll give you some unsolicited advice now, to save some time. Find someone you can follow, someone you can learn from.”
She goes on to tell you about her mentor, still on the Major Case Response Team under her purview at NCIS. Though she’s his boss now, she tells you that she still goes to him for advice, for friendship. 
“Trusting the people you work with always comes first. It’s not always possible, but when you can manage it. It makes everything better. Always protect them where you can, and don’t ignore the politics”
You do everything except take notes as she tells more stories, how she’s switched from “probie” to Agent to diplomat to Director, before she turns back to you. 
“Do you know which unit you’re interested in, yet?” 
You shake your head. “Not yet. I’m hoping I’ll have a better idea when the Quantico unit chiefs start coming in to lecture. I’m hoping one of them will catch my interest.”
“Great idea. When one of them does, give me a call. I think any unit could benefit from someone like you.”
+++
Agents Hotchner, Morgan, and Gideon have your attention the moment they step into the room. They’re confident, with a sharp kind of intelligence you admire. 
The world of the BAU is fascinating. Serial killers, sex criminals, the very worst of depraved humanity is their everyday. While it sounds somewhat horrifying, it compels you. 
Agent Hotchner especially catches your attention. He’s confident in a kind of serious, bladed way. Clearly intelligent, he commands the attention of everyone in the room and effortlessly wields his authority among curious students and his fellow agents. 
You’d think Agent Gideon would be the obvious leader, what with all his years of experience and seniority, but even with his grasp of a field he shaped, he doesn’t hold a candle to Hotchner. 
With your half-hour-old knowledge, you put together a quick profile of the remaining figure. 
Agent Morgan, while strong and clearly an alpha male, brings a skepticism with him. It hangs in the air around him and seems to apply to both of his colleagues. There’s something about Agent Gideon that makes him uneasy, distrustful. He tends to shift his weight away from him when they get too close to each other. 
He’s not overt about his skepticism regarding Agent Hotchner, but you get the idea there’s more under the surface you couldn’t possibly know just by studying his behavior in a lecture hall. 
This is fun. 
You hide your smile in your notebook, jotting down a couple of notes as Agent Gideon continues his “brief overview of profile-driven serial killer arrests.” 
+++. 
“Director Shepard’s office.”
“Hi Cynthia,” you greet her secretary. “Is Director Shepard in?”
She connects you, and you ask about the BAU. 
“Is Jason Gideon still the unit chief over there?” She asks. You can already hear her typing and you’re more than a little concerned about her tenacity in this moment. 
“No, ma’am, it’s Agent Hotchner, now.”
“Perfect.”
+++
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+++
You’re called into SSA Radner’s office the following Monday to “discuss some changes to your academy courses.” 
That doesn’t sound good. 
SSA Radner, an imposing and intimidating woman, is the SSAIC in charge of your NAT class - the person in charge of your collective fates. 
No pressure. 
She opens the door when you knock, gesturing to the chair on the other side of her desk. “Please, have a seat.” 
You chuckle nervously. “Thanks, Agent Radner.” You note her little smile as she sits at her desk, and chance a question. “Have I done something, I dunno, wrong? We don’t seem to find much good news in the SAIC’s office at my rank.” 
That pulls a laugh from her. “I wouldn't worry too much. I have a proposition for you. It’s...unusual, but not unheard of.” 
Your brow crumples a little and she exhales. 
“It might actually be better if - yeah. Hold on.” She clicks her intercom and her assistant chirps from the other side. 
“Yes ma’am?”
“Please send them in. I’d like to do a joint briefing.” 
Joint briefing? What is this, the third invasion of Iraq?
The door opens behind you and you whip around, finding Agent Hotchner and IOS Section Chief Erin Strauss. 
What the fuck? 
Either you’ve done something terrible or insane and you’re not sure which. 
Chief Strauss addresses you first, shaking your hand. You introduce yourself for good measure but have a feeling she already knows who you are. 
“It’s come to our attention that you have ambitious interests and are taking exceptional steps to make the most of your education and training at the academy. Is this a fair assessment?” 
“Yes, ma’am.” 
Agent Hotchner steps forward, sort of looming over you with something that isn’t quite a stern look. You take his hand when he offers, introducing yourself and ignoring the jolt of energy that shoots up your arm at his touch. 
His handshake is firm, his hands dry and warm. He looks different up close, younger, maybe. There’s the barest touch of grey at his temples, the beginnings of lines around his mouth and eyes. 
Not what I expected.
What did you expect? 
How old could he be? Thirty-five, maybe? 
Shut up. 
He’s handsome. 
Shut up!
His face relaxes a little bit before he speaks. “Director Shepard, a close professional colleague, has been a staunch advocate for you and your talents. She approached me about taking you on, giving you case hours in lieu of some coursework.” 
“You’d have some catching up to do, as it’s already three weeks into your twenty, and we’d transfer you into the profiling classes,” Agent Radner adds. “But with your diligence, I doubt you’ll have trouble with the added workload.” 
“No, ma’am. That should be fine. But,” you look between the three of them, “what does ‘case hours in lieu of some coursework’ mean, exactly?” 
“You’d be on assignment with the BAU until you received your formal assignment following successful completion of the academy, with the possibility of assignment with the BAU as a full-fledged agent.” Chief Strauss rattles off the information as if it’s the thousandth time she’s said it. 
It might be. 
You can’t even fathom how much effort and time must have gone into this decision. The realization leaves you speechless. 
She prompts you again. “Does that sound like an opportunity in which you’d be interested?”
“Oh, yes, ma’am.” You feel a little stupid, but you’re rewarded with a proud smile from Agent Radner. 
You could also swear you saw a twitch of Agent Hotchner’s lips, but he doesn’t seem to be a man who smiles much. 
+++
“So this’ll be your desk,” Agent Jennifer-but-my-friends-call-me-JJ Jareau says, pointing to one of the many desks in the bullpen. 
You set your bag down with a little smile, feeling more than a little overwhelmed. 
Agent Morgan pats your shoulder as he passes your desk. “You’ll do just fine, kid. Ready for a case briefing in ten?” 
“Sure.”
His blinding smile eats up his whole face and you like him already. He’s different than you thought he’d be, but you still don’t think your preliminary profile was too far off.
Agent Gideon, still holed up in his office, has yet to acknowledge you. 
Your eyes keep wandering to the open blinds, behind which Agent Hotchner and a woman you understand to be his wife have a quiet, apparently heated argument on either side of his desk. Except for the tight set of her mouth and the angry glint in her eye, she seems lovely. 
Derek follows your gaze. “Wasn’t always like that.” 
You look at him, a little furrow in your brow. 
Should he be telling me this?
“She’s not always here either, but their son, Jack, has been sick, so it’s been… tense.” Derek shakes his head. “You wouldn’t catch me married in this job, not once.” 
That pulls a laugh from you. 
Emily, sitting at the desk beside you, turns in her chair. “Remind me to drink to that later.” 
Derek snorts and picks up a couple of files, headed up to the round table room. 
+++
Your first case briefing is, well...brief. The case seems fairly straightforward and you run through relevant vocabulary while JJ outlines the case details. 
Preferential offender, keeps his victims for no more than three days, victims found in public places. 
He wants them found, and fast. 
Need-based, maybe? What are his priors? 
You’re all dismissed with a brisk, “Wheels up in thirty.” 
You pack your things a little slower than probably called for. Hotch disappears into his office again, closing the door behind him. When you pass the window, his wife is tucked under his chin. 
Hotch’s eyes flicker to yours and you quickly train your gaze on the floor, hustling down the stairs. 
+++
You land next to each other when you board the plane. You do your best to avoid taking anyone's assigned seat. 
With a team of this size, you can only assume they have such things.
And they do. 
Gideon, Spencer, Morgan, and Prentiss take a seat at the table while JJ perches on the arm of the couch. 
Hotch settles at the informal “head” of the table, leaning on the chairs across the aisle. You take a seat in one of the chairs in the row next to him, trying to stay out of the way. 
“C’mere, kid,” Derek says, beckoning you forward. “You’re on this team.” 
You shuffle forward in your seat, leaning forward with your elbows on your knees and case file open in your hands. “I’m ready.” 
JJ smiles at you, and you almost feel comfortable. 
+++
You end up alone with Hotch in the precinct conference room after you land, unboxing files and sorting them for Spencer. Until you know enough to make yourself useful, you’ve made it your mission to handle the tedious and the clerical. 
Hotch pauses every once in a while as if he wants to say something. You continue on your way. When he’s ready, he’ll stop you. 
“I’m sorry about earlier. My wife, Haley, she -” 
You look up, waving him off with a little smile. “It’s okay, Hotch. It’s none of my business.” 
He looks at you for a minute, studying your face with a bit of a squint. “You mean that.” 
It’s not a question. 
You’re confused. 
“Of course.” A nervous laugh leaves you. “I mean, you’re welcome to tell me if you want, but it’s nothing I need to speculate or gossip about or, God forbid, profile.” 
The shock and relief war on his face until it settles back into something that looks like his usual severity, but a little softer. He doesn't say anything else, but you have the sneaking suspicion you passed a test neither one of you prepared for. 
Spencer and Emily return from their trip to the medical examiner’s office. 
“Who organized these?” Spencer asks, pointing at the neat piles you made. 
“Me.” You look up from another box you’re working on. “Would it be helpful if they’re sorted another way? I went chronologically and then by number and type of offenses, with preferential offenders that match the M.O. on top, when possible.” 
Emily, Hotch, and Spencer freeze, staring at you like you grew another head in front of them. 
You’re suddenly and violently self-conscious. “What?”
Spencer snaps out of it first, shaking his head and picking up a stack. “Nothing that’s just...um…”
“Exactly right,” Emily supplies. She glances at Hotch before looking back at you. “Thanks.” 
“No problem.” 
Hotch is the last to break, but the curious little glances he keeps throwing your way always linger a little too long. 
To your credit, you ignore them. 
+++
“So, how are you liking it so far?” Derek slides into the driver’s seat and rolls out of the parking lot. 
You’re headed to another witness’s house under direct orders to observe and as a few (carefully directed) questions. Derek insisted on bringing you himself while the others keep busy with something else. 
“I’m liking it,” you reply. 
He laughs. “Coulda fooled me.” 
You screw up your face and look over at him. “What do you mean?” 
“Well,” he says through a laugh, “when you’re not making yourself ridiculously useful, you look terrified.” 
“I am terrified.” 
“Nothin’ to be scared of as long as you keep asking questions,” he says. 
It’s almost like he doesn’t know how ridiculous he sounds. 
“You’re joking, right?” You turn to face him, shifting in your seat. “Agent Morgan -” 
He cuts you off. You’re pretty sure that’s just how he is - he interrupts the other members of the team frequently and fearlessly. “- Derek. Or Morgan.” 
“Fine. Morgan, you have to know that your team is legendary. I don’t even know why -”
“- Don’t say it.” He flags his hand before putting it back on the wheel. “You’re here for a reason, and none of us are going to let you fall so hard you can’t pick yourself up, okay?” He glances over, meeting your eyes. “We’ve got your back.” 
You quirk a smile. “Thanks.” 
“And,” he adds, “Hotch seems to like you alright. That’s half the battle.” 
“What’s the other half?” 
He snorts. “Gideon. And local law enforcement.” 
+++
You settle in a little easier after that. JJ’s your next target as you help her make some calls to the D.A.’s office. 
You hang up and take a breath, slumping back in your chair. It’s been a long day already and it’s not even lunchtime. 
“Hanging in there?” JJ asks, smiling at you over her files. 
You nod. “Yeah. Just a… different kind of energy than the academy, I think.” 
“I felt that way when I got here, too. Gideon was unit chief back then and Spence had just started, too.” She huffs a laugh. “It was a little easier when there were more newbies, but then…” Her face clouds over and she shakes her head. 
“Then...what?” 
She looks up at you and her mouth twists. “Boston.” 
+++
“Hey, Derek?” 
“Yeah?” He keeps his eyes on the road, but he can hear the trepidation in your voice. 
The dark interior of the car feels safe in the early hours of the morning, headed back to the hotel. “You said I could ask you anything, right?” 
His eyebrows pinch. “Shoot.”
“What happened in Boston?” 
Derek takes a breath and lets it out in a whoosh. “I wasn’t there. I was supposed to be there.” 
You wait on him, watching him watch the road. 
“Unsub holed himself up in a massive warehouse. Gideon called in all the support he could - A Team, B Team, SWAT, the whole nine. I was visiting my mom in Chicago for her birthday like I do every year.” 
He stops at a red light, and you take a moment to look past him into the adjacent SUV, where Emily and Hotch’s profiles rest in a statuesque silhouette, backlit by the streetlamp. 
“It was a trap from the start. Everyone pushed in on Gideon’s order and the whole thing just…” He tosses his hand up and it lands with a smack on the leather steering wheel. “It just went up. Boom. Six BAU agents in our unit, dead, just like that. Had to rebuild from scratch.” 
You shiver, though the car is warm. “I’m so sorry, Derek.” 
He shrugs. “Gideon took six months off, Hotch took over. Gideon came back, Hotch stayed up front.” He smiles a little. “Haley wasn’t happy, but that’s the job.” 
Why does it always come back to Haley? To Hotch? 
Because he’s the unit chief. 
I know but…
Don’t read into it. 
You decide to push, just because it’s Derek, because he seems to know, because you feel safe with him, because it might be a mistake. “Is that what you meant?”
“Hm?” His head turns just a little toward you, his brow furrowed. 
“You told me on my first day ‘It wasn’t always like this.’ Is that what you meant?”
“No sane man would take on the unit chief position with a wife and baby on the way.” He shrugs and with a secret little smile says, “But nobody ever accused Hotch of being sane.” 
+++
Aaron sits in front of his computer, the end of his pen tapping on the glossy wood of his desk. 
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Does he have feedback? He’s not sure. 
Even with your limited knowledge, you’ve managed to optimize most of the administrative bullshit and political nonsense that clogs most local investigations. You bounce between acting as his shadow and JJ’s, making friends and soothing hurts when toes inevitably get stepped on. 
You’ve immediately adapted to his style of criticism and correction, using Derek and Spencer as guide-rails when you’re not sure where you’re going. 
There’s nothing to complain about. 
But then again…
Feedback isn’t just about the negative. 
If he’s honest with himself, he knows he won’t shower you in the glowing praise you deserve. Gideon never did for him or anyone that came after. 
It’s not in their nature, or his. 
He starts to type. 
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Glancing out his office window, his eyes find you hunched over your desk, poring over one of Spencer’s notebooks, a pinch in your brow as deep as the Grand Canyon. 
You work hard, impossibly hard. You throw everything you have at your work in the field while managing your courses and keeping up with your classmates. 
That in mind, he drafts an email to Jenny. 
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With a sigh, he sends it.
He’s still thinking of what you said on the last case, the genuine truth of it, and how many times he has done his best to preempt the gossip that plagues this office, no matter who it’s about. 
This unit, as much of a family as it may be, constantly wraps itself in the business of everyone else. To know you couldn’t give less of a shit about his marriage when the rest of the team (save Gideon) probably has money on when Haley calls it quits is, admittedly, refreshing. 
+++
After being in the field, classes take on a new kind of banality. You’re keeping up well enough, but watching Gideon and Derek quarrel over the details of a profile beats diving into the techniques - you guessed it - Gideon developed from cases past. 
Hotch and Garcia were gracious enough to CC you on emails while you were grounded at the academy, but it wasn’t the same. 
It was hard not to feel left behind, like the last kid chosen for dodgeball in PE class, watching the rest of the unit leave the office. You hung back in the bullpen as long as you could find something to do this morning, making it to class at the very last minute. 
Even after lectures, your classmates want nothing more than your attention. You’re suddenly consulting on three different practicals and never have a lunch to yourself.
Most afternoons, you sneak into the bullpen just for some peace and quiet. 
You hear your last name and look up, finding Erin Strauss approaching you. You stand. “Ma’am.”
“What are you working on?”
You look down at your desk, finding practical and theoretical exam notes shuffled around next to mock consults and other nonsense Hotch dropped on his way to the jet earlier in the week. “Course work, mostly. It’s nice to… get away every once in a while.”
Erin nods with a little smile. “I’d imagine you’ve been pretty popular lately.”
You shrug, a little facetious. “You could say that.”
She pays your shoulder in a surprisingly maternal gesture, before wishing you luck and leaving you to your work. 
At this point, you can’t even imagine just being an FBI agent. 
+++
You’ve just closed your burning, tired eyes when your phone rings. 
You answer, your last name a grumble into the mic. 
“It’s Hotch.”
You sit up straight in bed, immediately awake. “Sorry, sir, I -“
“I should apologize. I don’t mean to interrupt your studying or wake you but I think I could use your opinion on this profile.”
You frown in the dark, flipping your desk lamp on. “My help, sir?”
“Yeah.”  He heaves a sigh and you can almost see the fingers pressed to the bridge of his nose. “I’ve been looking at it too long.”
“Maybe Derek, can -“
“No. You. Here, listen -“
He rattles off the details of the case and you snatch your notebook and pen off the desk, jotting things down as Hotch continues through the case. 
“Have you identified and contacted local individuals who fit the victimology, taken steps to protect them? He’s a preferential offender with a predictable cooling-off period, right?” 
For some reason, this isn’t half as exhausting as the practical exam practice you’d been working on for the last five hours. You may or may not have written those exact questions about fifteen times, but it’s far less exhausting when directed at Hotch. 
“Yeah. Two high-risk victims are in protective custody and JJ’s been in touch since this morning.”
You go through a few more basic questions, getting your feet under you, before asking the one you’re really after. 
“Sir, why did you call me?”
“I needed another set of eyes.”
You huff a laugh. “No, I gathered that, but why did you call me? I’m in the middle of learning about something you’ve been doing for…” You search for a number, but your brain is fried. 
“Too long,” he supplies. 
“Sure. But my point stands.”
“That it does.” Something creaks in the background and you imagine he’s leaned back in his chair. 
“Did I help?” You’re happy he can’t see your dubious, if not entirely doubtful, expression. 
He’s happy you can’t see the little fond smile on his face. “Yes, actually. You did.”
+++
“Wheels up in thirty.” 
You all stand from the table and start your routines. Emily and Spencer make a beeline for the coffee machine while JJ jets back to her office for contact sheets and files and all manner of coordinating materials. 
Derek’s routine is simple enough - he already has his coffee and his go bag, so he’s answering a few emails before wheels up. 
You never really know what to do during this liminal space, so you stick to classwork. 
Much to your surprise, you’ve shot ahead in your classes on the shoulders of Derek and Spencer. They’ve been monumentally helpful with the history and application of profiling techniques (though much of Derek’s advice has been ‘just watch Gideon,’ you’re not sure how to watch a process that takes place entirely inside the man’s head). 
You ride with Hotch to the airstrip, looking out the window most of the way. It’s only a five minute drive, but the tree-lined roads around Quantico are always lovely this time of the morning. 
As always, you do your best to stay out of the way on the plane, taking up residence on Hotch’s right with your notebook and case file. 
You offer some thoughts here and there, not pushing too much or saying enough to make an ass of yourself. 
When Hotch calls break, the rest of the team scatters to their respective corners. 
Gideon turns to you, gesturing with one finger. “Hey, ah…” 
Spencer chirps your last name from across the cabin and you shoot him a grateful smile. 
“Good job in the briefing, today.” 
And with that, he disappears to the far side of the cabin, leaving you and Hotch alone by the table. 
“Wow,” you say with a little smile. “I didn’t know he was aware of my existence.” 
Hotch doesn’t say anything, but his lips twitch. 
Success. 
+++
“Welcome back, kiddo!” Derek offers you fist and you bump your knuckles against his on your way back to your desk. “How’d those exams go?”
You huff, playing at defeat. “Oh, you know.” 
“Don’t worry about it. There’s always next time.” 
Hotch, returning from a meeting with Strauss, hardly looks up from the file in his hand when he says, “Well done on your exams. SSA Radner threatened to hang your marksmanship targets on her wall.” 
You hide a smile. “Thanks, Hotch.” 
“Not fair!” Spencer says, tossing another Tums in his mouth. “I never passed those.” 
“Then how on earth do you have that, Reid?” You point at his six-shooter, still clipped to his hip. 
“Wait wait wait,” JJ says, dropping her files and crossing her arms. “You haven’t heard that story?” 
Your eyes flicker from Derek, to JJ, to Spencer, and back. “...No.”
JJ settles in, regaling you with a wild tale of an L.D.S.K. - 
“You remember what that stands for, right?” Derek points at you and you have a feeling this is about to become some kind of pop quiz. 
“Yeah. Long Distance Serial Killer.” 
“Good. Famous unsubs include…?” 
You sit back in your chair with a little smirk on your face. “D.C. Snipers Muhammad and Malvo, active October 2002, seventeen victims total. Apprehended by agents from the FBI Baltimore field office -” 
Derek holds up a finger. “And?”
“- and the BAU and the Maryland State Police.” 
“Good.” 
JJ waits for Derek to nod at her and she continues what you imagine to be a rather embellished version of a story in which Hotch and Reid save the day.
“...And then Hotch just starts kicking the shit out of Spencer -” 
Hotch’s office door shuts and he sails down the stairs with one of those little secret smiles. “This one ends with Reid stealing my sidearm and shooting the unsub in the head.” He taps right between his eyebrows in the barest of pauses on his way out of the bullpen. “Dead center.” 
Derek and JJ groan, both whining about how he ruined the punchline before devolving into a fit of giggles. You can almost see the smirk on his face as he pushes through the glass door and turns the corner. 
You join in the mirth, ruffling Reid’s hair. He smiles widely at you. 
Maybe you could just get used to this place.   
+++
The second round of classes on top of added case hours (you’re traveling with the unit more often than not) nearly brings you to the brink. 
On the plane back to Quantico, you realize you can’t remember the last time you actually had a full night of sleep. 
The rest of the unit is out cold, curled into themselves or stretched out under blankets, save for Hotch and Gideon. 
Gideon’s writing in that wretched notebook again, entirely focused on his work under the weak reading light. 
Aaron sits beside you on the other side of the cabin, looking over a few files before returning home. You watch him check his watch, sigh, shrug, and pull out his phone. To your surprise, he doesn’t move to give himself space as he calls his wife. 
“Hey, honey, it’s me… Yeah, we’re on the plane. Should be back within the next hour and a half... “ 
He sighs and tightly closes his eyes. “Haley, please… Yes, I know Jack’s already asleep… Are you implying I didn’t do my damnedest to - Then what’s your point?...” 
His voice never once rises above a low murmur. It’s impressive.
“I’ll be home as soon as I can… No, I won’t pass ‘Go’ or collect two-hundred dollars or step foot into my office… Yes. Plane. Tarmac. Car. Home… Yeah… Love you too.” 
He snaps his phone shut and leans back, tipping his head against the headrest.  
You stay quiet, continuing your review of S.S.A. Bailey’s course on, ironically, conflict de-escalation. 
Hotch takes a talking breath and you look over at him, keeping a kind of soft understanding on your face - really, shooting for anything that isn’t curiosity. 
“I appreciate your…” He looks for a word. “Discretion.” 
You laugh a little down your nose. “How many times do I have to tell you it’s none of my business?”
“How many times do I have to imply that a phrase like that isn’t in the vocabulary of this team, usually?” He shifts a little, and you notice his thumb, running along his forefinger like he’s searching for bone. 
“Is it really that bad?”
Hotch raises his eyebrows, and you relent. 
“Fine.” You drop your voice. “Do you want to know what I’ve seen?”
He shrugs. “An outside perspective might be nice.” 
You keep your eyes on your book as you speak, keeping your volume low and your tone as neutral as you can. 
“I’ve seen how Emily worries about fitting in - I can’t help but relate. This team is a family and it’s… hard to break through that sort-of-wall to the outside world.” 
The prickly feeling of his eyes on you isn’t altogether unpleasant, but you still haven’t grown used to it. 
“Derek and Spencer are worried about Gideon and,” you glance at him briefly, “so are you. Everyone seems to want to know why, but I don't think that’s always useful.” 
Hotch hums once, maybe in agreement - you’re not too sure. 
You are sure, though, that this was a test. 
“How’d I do, Counselor?”
It’s never too early to invoke the J.D. hanging in a frame behind his desk. It was the first thing you noticed and suddenly, a lot more made sense. 
You’re rewarded with a small smile. “Not bad. Though you did forget to drop in the little bit about my marriage.” 
“I didn’t forget,” you assure him.
“No?” 
“No. I figure if you have something to say, you seem like the kind of person who’d just say it. At least,” you shrug, “that’s my impression.” 
He’s quiet for a minute before he squints and looks over your shoulder at your reading. His brown eyes track down the page before returning to yours. He’s close to you, but you’re not uncomfortable. 
Hotch is...safe. Somehow. 
“There’s a reason you’re the exception. Not sure what it is yet,” he says. “But there’s a reason.” 
“What?” 
He leans back, a cryptic little smile on his face, and says nothing else for the rest of the flight.
+++
“Hotch, are you sure it’s not a trick question?” 
“The questions aren’t designed to trick you,” comes a voice from the doorway. To your surprise, it’s Gideon. “They’re designed to stretch and reveal your instincts. No right answer.” 
The corners of his mouth turn down while his eyebrows rise in that kind of halfway-encouraging look he sometimes gets. “Just go with your gut.” 
He disappears and you turn back to Hotch, scribbling away in a file. 
“He’s right.” 
Your brain feels less and less bound to your body as the days pass. “Am I nuts, or is that the most words he’s strung together since I got here, combined?” 
What you now know to be a smile twitches at Hotch’s mouth. “You’re not nuts.” 
You sigh and turn your attention back to your mock exam, twiddling your pencil between your fingers. “I’m sorry to keep bugging you with homework - it feels like cheating.” 
He pulls his phone from his pocket. “Resourcefulness is not cheating. If it was, I’d have to go back and get my J.D. out of a Cracker Jack box.” 
You muffle a laugh.
He checks his watch. “I have a check-in with the budget office in five minutes. You’re welcome to stay right where you are, but it’ll be boring and I plan to do a lot of pacing.” 
You hold your hands up in surrender and settle in. 
Friday afternoons in the office feel a lot like Saturdays in the office - which is to say, nothing happens at all. The rest of the team is catching up on paperwork while Gideon walks laps with his little notebook. 
Not three minutes into his conversation, Hotch stands and begins to pace, as promised. 
"No, we can't cut the technology budget... Because if the BAU gets called to a remote region, we need to have immediate access to satellite phones and our technical analyst… Yes… Send the budget to the Director, and I'm certain it'll come back approved without changes… The arrest and prosecution rate of this unit is -” 
His desk phone rings and he gestures for you to pick it up. 
“Agent Hotchner’s office,” you say with more than a little trepidation. You’re definitely not qualified to answer the unit chief’s phone. 
“Goddamn it, Aaron why can’t you -” She pauses. “Wait. Sorry. Who is this?” 
You introduce yourself. “I’m currently on-assignment with the unit. It’s… unconventional.” 
“Hm. Why are you answering Aaron’s phone?” Her tone isn’t accusatory - it’s more curious than that. You’d imagine this doesn’t happen all that often. He’s either at his desk, or he’s not at his desk. 
She calls him Aaron. 
You’re not sure why that surprises you. They’re married, and he has a first name. 
Taking a look across the room, you watch Hotch’s profile as he continues to defend the budget he submitted. 
Aaron. 
You make an attempt to see the man behind the suit, the man who goes home to his wife and son when he can. 
“I’m using his office to study for my academy exams. I’ll see if I can reach Agent Hotchner for you. Just a second.”
She snorts something that could be a laugh if it wasn’t so sharp. “Thanks.” 
Hotch looks over and squints at you, mouthing, Who is it? 
You put her on hold and answer in a stage whisper. “It’s your wife.”
Hotch freezes for just a second - it almost looks like he’s rebooting. 
He blinks three times in rapid succession before he pulls the phone away from his mouth. “Tell her I’m in a meeting. I’ll call her back.” You move to reach for the phone but he holds up a finger and you freeze. “Wait two minutes.”
You follow instructions, taking the time to answer a few more mock exam questions. You try not to think too hard about his avoidance. This doesn’t seem like a particularly pressing phone call - Hotch is in budget meetings all the time. 
None of your business. 
After about a minute and a half, you pick up the phone again. 
Before you can say anything, she’s already back on her mini-rampage. About twenty seconds in, she pauses. 
“I’m so sorry. I’m still not talking to my husband, am I?”
De-escalate. Disarm. Establish rapport. 
You can do this. 
You channel Derek, using a softer tone designed to distract. Maybe you’ll sneak some humor in there, if you can manage it. 
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Hotchner, he’s not available.” 
With a defeated sigh, she asks, flatly, “Where is he?” 
Humor. Play off her disappointment. 
“I assume he’s in a meeting or something - he likes to think he’s very important - but I can’t find him.” 
To your surprise, she laughs a little. 
You check with Hotch across the room. He rolls his eyes at you but continues his bickering. 
Success. 
“Can you just… I don’t know… Tell him I called, or something?” 
You try not to think too hard about the defeat in her tone. “I promise I’ll badger him to call you back as soon as he’s back at his desk, ma’am.”
“Wow.” She sounds impressed, and you’re not sure why. You’re not left in suspense for long. She continues - 
“You’re a way better liar than JJ. Also - please don’t call me ma’am. Makes me feel old. Haley’s just fine.” 
“Of course.” 
“You know what…” She asks for your cell number and you give it to her, throwing a glance at Hotch for good measure. He’s still pacing. 
He presses his fingers to the bridge of his nose, but can’t say anything to you before he’s forced to respond to the poor budget clerk who drew the short straw. “No we can’t start sharing hotel rooms…”
Haley interrupts your momentary space-out. “Thanks, again. If he doesn’t have a chance to call me back, can you let him know I’m going to my sister’s for the weekend? With Jack?” 
“Sure.”
That’s another question I’m not going to ask. 
You hang up the phone and get back to your exam, trying not to feel comforted by the lull of familiarity in the room. 
+++
For some reason, you keep finding yourself alone in police precincts in the middle of nowhere with Hotch sitting across the table from you. 
“Hey,” he says. 
You look up. 
“Haley, she…” He heaves a sigh and trails off for a minute, frowning at a spot above your head. “I don’t know why I’m asking, what I’m asking.” 
You keep your eyes on him. “Shoot.” 
He takes another breath. “I don’t know how to make her happy anymore.” 
This is above my pay grade. 
“Everything I do seems to irritate her - trying, not trying, just surviving. I don’t know.” He shakes his head at your somewhat bewildered expression. “Sorry, I -” 
“No, no, Hotch. It’s fine.” You search for his eyes. “What can I do?” 
He shakes his head. “Any advice?” 
Any advice? Definitely above my pay grade. 
You also feel for him - he wouldn’t be asking if he wasn’t desperate. 
Besides that, it almost makes sense he’s asking you rather than anyone else on the team. They’ve all known him too long, have been too close to see his struggles clearly. They need to see him as an authority, separate from petty squabbles. 
Separate from the things that make him human. 
He needs to be a superhero for this team, and then go home and be a superhero for his family. Both parts of his life exist with a wall between them - Agent Hotchner can’t be a husband and a father in the field, and Mr. Haley Hotchner can’t be an agent at home. 
It must be lonely. 
Everyone else knows about and ignores that necessary separation. He trusts them as his colleagues, people he can rely on professionally, but perhaps not personally. 
Well, all except Emily. 
You get the feeling that he doesn’t completely trust Emily yet, but you’re not sure why. That’s another thing to figure out about the walking enigma sitting across from you. 
“Well… I’ve never been married, I don’t have kids, but I think…” You search for words. 
It’s none of my business, is what you want to say. 
Instead, you offer, “Why don’t you just ask her?” 
His brow crumples. “What?”
“Ask her. You don’t know how to, I dunno, do it right on your own, it sounds like. But you’re a team, right? Just ask her.” 
You duck down to your work, getting the feeling he’d rather not be observed as he processes. There’s a part of you that wonders whether his preference for privacy masks his fear. 
Another part of you already knows the answer. 
+++
Derek and Emily walk back into the precinct, spotting the pair of you right where they left you. 
Hotch still watches you with a soft, curious frown on his face, like there’s a puzzle there he can’t quite solve. You diligently work away, sticking flags and post-its on cold cases for the board. 
“What’s with that?” 
Emily looks up from her phone. “What’s with what?”
Derek nudges his chin toward the conference room. “That.”
Emily’s brow pinches a little. “They seem to be getting along well.” Her mouth twists. “I didn’t think he’d warm up so easily. He didn’t with me.” 
“He gets like that. He’s getting better, though, ever since you called him out.” 
She snorts. “You’re kidding. I didn’t think he actually listened - I barely meant it.” 
“No, you didn’t.” Derek raises his eyebrows and searches for her eyes. “And he heard you.” 
Emily shifts her attention back to you, her posture softening. “Oh.” 
“C’mon,” Derek says, tapping her upper back with a good deal of affection. “Let’s regroup and see what we’ve got.”
+++
Aaron sits up in bed, the harsh light from the hotel table lamp illuminating the ugly wallpaper and the case files on the equally ugly bedspread. 
His fingers hover restlessly over the keys as he drafts his email, warring with himself. 
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Does he want you on the team? Permanently? He’s already shown too much of his hand, revealed too much of himself, grew too comfortable too quickly. 
He’s not sure what it is about you that forced his guard down. 
You’re not the first person he’s asked about Haley, though he must admit that Gideon was next to no help. Spencer’s offered him unsolicited statistics about marital strife on three separate occasions in the past three months. 
Aaron presses his fingers to the bridge of his nose and squeezes his eyes shut. 
I live in a circus. 
He opens his eyes and reads over the email again. 
Fuck it. 
His cursor hovers over Send for just a moment before he clicks. The little whooshing sound seals his fate. 
+++
You land in Arizona and Gideon’s already on edge. There’s already another crime scene by the time you get off the plane
“This one’s going to be bad, isn’t it?” 
Derek sighs. “You’ve got good instincts. Stay close.” 
You elect yourself Derek’s shadow at the crime scene, taking notes for him while he circles and observes the body. 
Leaning close to him, you ask, “Isn’t the body positioning a sign of remorse?” 
He looks over at you with a little smile. “Yeah. Good work.” He looks across the street to Hotch, speaking with the detective. “Do yourself a favor and note that to Hotch. Make sure Gideon hears you.” 
+++
This time, you’re alone with Emily in the conference room, helping her pin and organize the board. 
“Hey,” she says, something like hesitation in her voice. 
You turn. “Yeah?” 
“Did Strauss ever…” She trails off and looks over her shoulder as Hotch, Gideon, and Derek come back in from the Arizona heat. They’re on their way to the conference room. 
“Did she ever what?” 
Emily shakes her head and forces a smile, waving you off. “Nevermind.” 
You’re not sure you get the confused look of your face before your colleagues walk through the door. 
+++
“Where are they?” Hotch watches the monitor, his eyes flickering, searching for Derek and Emily. 
You’re frozen, watching over his shoulder as the woman stabs the unsub, and then herself. Without knowing why, your mind wanders to that question Emily almost asked you the day before. 
This isn’t good. 
+++
The plane ride home is quiet, tense. 
You sit next to Hotch again. There’s not much you can do, but you shoot a text to Haley. 
5:42pm We’re flying back. Should be wheels down in Quantico in about four hours. 
She texts back after a minute. 
5:43pm Thanks. 
There’s something off - you don’t like the look of that period, but you try not to read into it too much. You’re all feeling a little unsettled after that case. 
Your eyes wander across the cabin. 
JJ’s bottom lip is firmly planted between her teeth as she stares out the window. 
Spencer’s sitting across from Gideon with a huge book in his lap, but he’s looking at Gideon more than he’s reading. 
Gideon, for once, doesn’t have his journal in his hand. He, like JJ, stares out the window, his mouth pinched. 
Emily’s eyes are restless, her breathing somewhat irregular. She’s picking at her nails. 
“Emily.” 
She looks up at you, and you tap the back of your hand with a finger. She looks down, finding her thumb and index finger close to bleeding. 
“Thanks.” She looks away from you again. 
If you didn’t know better, you’d think the view out the window was the most captivating sight in history. 
You know better. It’s just clouds. 
Your phone buzzes in your hand. Jenny. 
5:58pm How’s it going? 
You huff a little laugh down your nose. 
5:58pm Rough day. 
Hotch breaks his gaze from the window. “What’s up?” 
“Just Jenny. She’s checking in.” 
He shakes his head and you can hear the sarcasm in his tone. “Good day for it.” 
6:01pm If you’re up to it, I’ll be in my office late if you want to swing by and talk about it. 6:02pm I also have booze. 
You look up to find Hotch reading over your shoulder. He backs off. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to -” 
“No, it’s fine.” 
“You should go, if she’s offering.” 
You snort. “Should I be job-searching already?” 
“I wouldn’t worry about that,” he says with a little smile. “Jenny’s seen a lot. She’s a good resource.” 
+++
The Navy yard is quiet as you drive across the campus. The NCIS building isn’t hard to find, but it’s still unfamiliar territory. 
When you park and get cleared for access and up the elevator, most of the lights are off on the Major Case Response floor. There are still agents present, working under the warm light of their desk lamps. 
A team of four takes up the middle of the bullpen, but they barely look up as you pass them and climb the stairs. 
Cynthia isn’t at her desk - gone for the night - and Jenny’s office door is open. She also has her overhead lights turned off, giving her office a cozy, lived-in feel. 
“Hey, you,” she says, looking up with a little smile. “Just got the scuttlebutt on that Arizona case. Definitely not ideal, I hear.”
You shake your head, collapsing into a chair on the other side of her desk. “Not ideal is a good way to put it.” 
She stands and crosses the office, pouring two small glasses of some amber liquid you know is gonna burn like hell. 
You take what she offers and hold in both of your hands, not really interested in drinking it, and follow her to the couch. 
“What happened?” 
You heave a breath. “Got the call - three murders already. Clearly a preferential offender. All the women were students, brunette, similar features. We already had another crime scene by the time we landed. We used the profile, got the guy.” 
Jenny’s brow pinches. “Then?” 
“Copycat. Even came with a note exonerating the suspect we had in custody. We had to let him go without a lead on the second suspect.” 
She sighs and takes a sip of her bourbon. “Been there.” 
“We were surveilling him, waiting for him to do something stupid - we knew he would. The copycat confronted him… She was suicidal. Stabbed him, then herself. We were too late.” 
“Oh, my God.” 
You level her with an exhausted look. “Yeah.” 
“How’s your team?” 
“Tired, mostly.” You offer a humorless laugh. “Maybe in a more existential way than a physical way, not that any of us have slept…” 
The two of you chat into the early hours of the morning. She’s had more than one day like this, in more than one country. 
“It’s days like this that make you question whether you’ve chosen the right line of work.” She looks over at a picture of herself in front of the Eiffel Tower, resting on her bookshelf. “But the good days…”
“They make it worth it, don’t they?” 
The corner of her mouth tips up in a smile. “Yeah. They do.” 
+++
You find a text from Haley when you get back into the car, not realizing you left it in the center console cup holder. 
10:38pm Thanks for getting him home safe. Get some sleep.
+++
When you come in the next morning almost embarrassingly late, Gideon’s office is still dark. 
You’re not even really sure you should be here in the first place, what with the major fuckup hanging over everyone’s heads. The last thing you want to do is go home to your room, back to those four tiny walls and textbooks, even after everything. The bullpen, this team, has become your safety net. 
They should all be here, but there’s only one absence striking you as particularly odd. “Where’s Gideon?” 
Spencer shrugs, spinning half-circles in his desk chair. He looks despondent, staring at the carpet. You don’t see Emily or Derek, but you assume they’re somewhere. 
Weird. 
You set your things down and head up the stairs, knocking twice on Hotch’s door. 
“Yeah?” He looks up and sees you, relaxing a little. 
You take a little breath. “Should I be here today?” 
“Do you want to be here today?” There’s something behind his voice you can’t quite place. It almost sounds like insecurity, like he’s worried he’s scared you off. 
Far from it. 
“I do, sir. I want to be here.” You think of Jenny, and hope he can hear more than you can say. “It’s worth it.” 
You think maybe you’re figuring him out a little more. He smiles more often than you’d think, but you have to know what it looks like. This look - the softening of his eyes and the corners of his mouth, the slight crease at the corners of his eye, the threat of a dimple - is just as big a smile for him as Morgan’s human-sunshine smile. 
“Then stick around. I’ll have you work on some mock consults with Reid and Prentiss - you’ll be doing a lot of those in the next few months until you’re ready to take them on by yourself.” 
“I’ll go pick them up from JJ. They’re in her office, right?” 
He nods and you turn to leave, but you’re stopped by the sound of your name before you can get through the door. “Yeah?”
“You’ve performed remarkably well, no matter what happens after this.” 
The side of your mouth twists. “Thank you, sir.”
+++
tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @hurricanejjareau @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse​ @criminalsmarts @genevievedarcygranger​ @ssaic-jareau @davidrossi-ismydad​ @angelsbabey​ @hotchsflower @hotchslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid​ @captain-christopher-pike​ @dwellingsofrosie @pan-pride-12 @sunshine-em​ @word-scribbless​ @jdougl-love​ @dreila03​ @forgottenword​ @aaronhotchnerr​ @ssa-morgan​ @sana-li​ @tegggeeee​ @abschaffer2​ @ssacandice-ray​ @ellyhotchner​ @lotties-journey-abroad​ @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25​ @mooneylupinblack​ @ssareidbby​ @bwbatta​ @roses-and-grasses​ @capricorngf​ @missdowntonabbey​ @averyhotchner​ @mandylove1000​ @qvid-pro-qvo @jeor​ @spencers-hoodrat​ @popped-weasels​ @evee87​ @nuvoleincielo​ @this-broken-band-girl​ @reidtomestyles​ @hotch-meeeeeuppppp​ @winqhster​ @the-falling-in-the-danger​ @iconicc​ @mangoberry43​ @andreasworlsboring101​ @kerrswriting​ @mac99martin​ @itsalwaysb33nyou​ @baumarvel​ @messyhairday-me​ @ssworldofsw​  @deagibs​ @crazyshannonigans​ @moonshinerbynight​ @jhiddles03​ @teamhappyme​ @mendesmelodies​ @starsandasteroids​ @unicorn-bitch​ @ambicaos​ @bispences​
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the-modernmary · 3 years
Text
you’ll always know me || aaron hotchner x reader
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Summary: "I would have stayed... If you asked me to.
After your high school graduation, you left without saying goodbye to Aaron Hotchner, your best friend, and nobody had heard from you since. Years later, you're back in DC, and catching up with Aaron brings more than you could have possibly hoped for.
Warnings: mentions of weed
A/N: I really wanted some soft Hotch content in my life after all the angst in my best habit, and this is about as soft as I can get. Inspired by Taylor Swift's "dorothea". Honestly, I was listening to evermore, blacked out for about three hours, and this is what came from that. There is no other explanation for this. It's written differently than my usual style, but I hope y'all like it still!
read on ao3 || masterlist
~~~~~~~
“What’s got you in such a rush?”
  Rossi eyes Aaron carefully as the latter circles around his office, double and triple-checking that he didn’t forget anything. The last thing he wants is to have to come back to the office and cut his day short.
  Aaron shoves a few case files in his briefcase. “An old friend from high school is in town and I’m meeting up with her.”
  Rossi perks up at the word ‘her’ and he leans against the door frame. Aaron notices this, too, because he shakes his head quickly. “It’s not like that. We both got sent to boarding school for being problem children and we became quick friends. I haven’t talked to her since graduation. She just packed up her stuff and left the very next day.”
“You sound bitter,” Rossi points out.
  “Not at all,” he lies, trying to forget the hurt of running to your dorm for your weekly breakfast together, only to be met with an empty room and a singular polaroid. “I knew she hated it there and her goal was to travel and see as many places as she could. Honestly, I’m surprised she’s back stateside at all. Last I heard, she was doing some art apprenticeship in Italy, but that was years ago.”
  “You sound like you have a long evening ahead of you, so I’ll get out of your hair. And have some fun tonight, Aaron. You deserve it,” Rossi adds on as an afterthought. 
  The corners of Aaron's mouth lift slightly. “I will. Try not to let the building burn down while I’m gone. Reid is back on his physics magic kick, and I think I heard something about a lighter.”
  Rossi gives Aaron a two-finger, half-hearted salute in acknowledgment, which is all it takes for Aaron to shut his office door and head towards the elevator. Knowing that you’re just outside, he has to make a conscious effort to slow his pace from an excited jog to just an anxious speed walk. The elevator ride is slow, seemingly stopping at every single floor on the way down, which gives his mind ample time to wander and think back to graduation day.
  “There you are!” Aaron shouts from across the football field as he runs up to you, shoving through bustling groups of families trying to take pictures. He has so many stoles and cords and leis around his neck that you can barely see the suit he’s wearing underneath his gown. It’s a stark contrast to you, with only a singular chord for academic achievement, although a 3.2 wasn’t much of an achievement in the eyes of most people at boarding school.
  “Here I am!” you laugh, throwing your arms around him in a hug and breathing in the smell of his cologne.
  “Where’re your parents? Didn’t they come?”
  “Of course they didn’t. They’re not ones for celebrating something as trivial as high school graduation, not when it’s just expected of me.” You roll your eyes. “What about you? I thought you and Haley were going to do the whole ‘meet the family’ thing today?”
  Aaron is oblivious to the bitterness in your voice, although that’s nothing new. “We are, but I just wanted to give these to you.” It’s then that you notice the bouquet of flowers in his hand, although it’s now being pressed into your arms. “As a congrats. And a thank you for being there for me this whole time. You’re my best friend.”
  You try to ignore the ache in your chest at his words. “Thank you, Aaron. I… I didn’t get you anything, I’m sorry.”
  “Don’t be,” he waves it off. “If you want to get me something, breakfast is your treat tomorrow.”
  “Okay, deal,” you agree, the smile coming back to your face. Selfishly, you don’t want him to go back to Haley or his family just yet. You want him to stay there with you so you don’t feel so lonely in the crowd of happy graduates. “God, I can’t believe you’re staying in D.C. for college. We always talked about getting out, seeing the world and never coming back.”
  Aaron shrugs, and you watch as he brushes away a piece of his hair that falls into his face. “I’m hoping that going to GW for undergrad will make it easier to get into law school there.”
  “And Haley Brooks is still here for another year,” you point out, half accusatory.
  “Yeah, that, too.” Aaron chuckles uncomfortably before quickly switching the conversation. “What about you? Have you decided what you’re going to do?”
  “There’s an art school in Glasgow I’m thinking of going to. But, you know… George Washington also has an art program. It’s pretty nice, too. I’m still deciding.” You trail off, looking straight into Aaron’s eyes, giving him every chance in the world to make the decision for you.
  Aaron hesitates, fighting an internal battle. “Go to Glasgow!” he says, fake enthusiasm in his voice, but your disappointment blocks out anything but his actual words. “Then I’ll have an excuse to visit Scotland.”
  “Yeah, that’s what I was leaning towards, too,” you lie. “Aaron, I—”
  You’re cut off by a voice calling his name. You both turn around to see Haley Brooks waving him over, her other hand holding 7-year-old Sean’s hand. She looks like spring personified, her blonde hair in bouncy curls and her pink sundress swishing around her long, slender legs. Her smile is so big that it could have parted storm clouds, and you want nothing more than to hate her with every single fiber of your being.
  But then you see Aaron, returning her megawatt smile with his own, one you rarely ever saw, and how can you hate somebody who makes him so happy?
  “I have to go, I’m sorry,” he says, although there’s not even a hint of regret in his voice. “But I’ll see you for one last Sunday breakfast tomorrow?”
  “I’ll see you then,” you lied.
  How Aaron could have missed the signs of your unhappiness, he’ll never know. At that time, all he knew was that you left without ever saying goodbye, leaving behind only a polaroid of the two of you from your weekend trip to Virginia Beach, both of you drunk and laughing with your arms wrapped around each other. He still has it, buried in his nightstand somewhere, but he hasn’t had the courage to look at it for a few years now.
  As Aaron steps out of the FBI building, he recognizes you instantly, even though it’s only the back of your head, and it causes his breath to catch in his throat. He calls your name and watches as you turn around, your hair whipping around you, and the fact that you still have that same mischievous glint in your eyes is enough to make him feel like he’s sixteen again and nervously skipping class with you holding his hand and pulling him towards the school gates.
  “Aaron!” You jog up to him and throw your arms around him in a hug, which he happily reciprocates. You press a quick kiss to his cheek before pulling away, and Aaron’s entire face burns.
  You keep your hands on his biceps, holding him at arm’s length, as you study him. He looks almost exactly the same as he did all those years ago, with soft hair and the slightest bit of stubble, but he looks less carefree. He seems more mature, like life had aged him 100 years. Still, as cute as high school Aaron was, it had nothing on how good he looks now. “Look at you, Mr. FBI, all suit and corporate-looking! I never thought I’d see the day.”
  “Yeah, I guess I’ve changed quite a bit,” he admits, and the sight of his dimples makes you want to melt right there into the sidewalk. “It’s really good to see you again. I’ve missed you.”
  “Oh, I’m sure you barely thought about me,” you joke, but hurt flashes through your eyes.
  Aaron wants to argue, to tell you that he thinks about you all the time, but decides against it. He doesn’t want to spend the precious few hours he has with you bringing up old issues. “Are you hungry? Because there’s this diner a few blocks down with giant milkshakes.”
  “Why are we still standing here, then? All you had to say was milkshakes, they’re my favorite.”
  “I know. I remember,” he says, and that all-too-familiar pang in your heart comes back like it had never left. “Come on, we can walk and cut through a park.”
  The two of you start your walk in comfortable silence, listening to the bustling city around you. Every once in a while, your hands would bump into his, and you were doing everything you could to ignore it.
  “So did you ever go to that art school?” he asks suddenly, looking over at you.
  You nod, a soft smile forming on your face. “I did. You were right, I loved Scotland.”
  “Where did you go after that? Nobody heard from you.”
  Your eyes sparkle as memories of your life the past few years flash through your mind. “Everywhere. Literally. I took a bunch of odd jobs and spent my time traveling,” you admitted. “I taught English in Vietnam for a year, worked on a cruise ship that went around South America, was an au pair for a French ambassador, went on research expeditions… Even dated a pilot for all of six months. Anything I could do that would let me see the world.” You laugh to yourself, shaking your head fondly. “I really put that private boarding school tuition to good use, huh? My parents were pissed.”
  “It sounds like you were living the life you dreamed of,” Aaron says softly, looking down at you.
  “It was,” you agree, your voice a little sad.
  “So then why are you back here in DC?”
  You shrug, your hands clasped behind your back, and you step down on a particularly crunchy leaf. “I’m just passing through. I’ve been going around the US and looking for a place to settle down. Finally. Figured I might as well put that art degree to good use. Maybe I’ll open a gallery or something.”
  Aaron nods slowly as the chill of autumn runs through his bones. It’s nice, though, in a weird way. He’s always preferred the fall over spring. “Where have you looked so far?”
  “Lots of places. San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Atlanta, San Antonio, Miami… I’m heading up to New York next. Nothing’s felt right so far. But enough about me, how are you? I heard you married Haley Brooks.”
  That same bitterness you felt in high school when you talked about Haley comes back with a vengeance. It’s unfair, and you know that. How was Aaron supposed to know that you were practically in love with him in high school if you never told him? Even now, you’re sure that he hasn’t put together the pieces.
  You watch as his gaze falls slightly. “I did. She died a few years ago.”
  “I’m sorry,” you whisper, and you reach out to give his hand a small squeeze.
  “We got divorced a little while before it happened,” he explains, unsure why it’s so important to him that you know that. “I blamed myself for it for a long time. But I’ve, uh… I’ve made peace with it now.”
  You give him a comforting smile, fully aware of the fact that you’re still holding his hand. “Aaron Hotchner, making peace with something in his life? I never thought I’d see the day.”
  Aaron chuckles and bumps his shoulder to yours. “I’ve been known to do it a few times. But only a few. Haley and I have a son, though. His name is Jack. He’s 8 now.”
  You shake your head in disbelief, and your cheeks hurt from smiling so much. “And you’re a father? Wow, you really have changed.”
  “Is that a bad thing?” he asks, and you shake your head wordlessly.
  “I like every version of Aaron Hotchner,” you promise. “Besides, change is a good thing. Especially since this city hasn’t changed a bit.”
  Aaron looks around, eyebrows furrowed, like he’s seeing DC for the very first time. “It’s actually changed quite a bit. But it’s subtle. Only people who have been here as long as I have would even notice it, probably.”
  The words cut through you both as a painful reminder of your abrupt departure from DC, and the silence settles over the two of you like a thick fog. This conversation was going to have to happen no matter what, you knew that going into this meeting with Aaron, but you didn’t expect it to happen so soon.
  “I would have stayed,” you whisper, your voice barely audible. “If you asked me to.”
  Aaron shakes his head as his Adam’s apple bobs. “I thought about it. But I couldn’t do that to you. I knew you wanted to see the world, and you said it yourself. This city had nothing left to offer you.”
  You pause, rubbing your thumb over your fingertips with your freehand. “It had you,” you reply, and Aaron feels like he was just stabbed in the heart. “That would have been enough.” Seeing Aaron’s dejected face, you quickly keep talking. “But I get it, don’t worry. You were head over heels for Haley Brooks. Everybody knew you two were meant to be together.””
  “What does that have to do with you leaving?” he asks, more accusatory than he intended.
  “Everything.”
  Aaron breathes out your name, unsure of what to say until he settles on: “I’m sorry.”
  You wave him off, forcing a laugh. “Don’t be. I was 17 years old with a crush. We do stupid things, like want to stay at home for a boy. I’m glad I left. Besides, Haley Brooks was clearly the love of your life, and far be it from me to try and break up the golden couple.”
  The two of you stop in front of the diner and you drop Aaron’s hand, much to his disappointment, although you’re still close enough to him to see your reflection in his brown eyes. “I didn’t know you felt like that about me,” he says.
  “Which is surprising, because everybody else definitely knew. But you’ve always been a little clueless when it comes to stuff like that,” you tease, flashing him a toothy smile. “But it’s in the past. So come on, I want to hear about this FBI stuff and drink a milkshake so big it makes my stomach hurt.”
  Twenty minutes later, you and Aaron find yourselves smushed together in a corner booth covered in cheap vinyl, splitting a chocolate milkshake and laughing as you stroll down memory lane. 
  “You know, I ran into Stephen yesterday! A little coffee shop not too far from here,” you tell Aaron.
  Aaron almost drops the fry he was about to eat. “Do you mean Stoner Stephen? What is he doing back here?”
  You take a sip of the milkshake, and Aaron’s gaze is intense as you wrap your lips around the straw. When you pull back, he’s still staring at the soft pink your lipstick leaves behind. “Apparently, he’s lived here for years. Also, did you know he’s crazy smart? Like… graduated 4th in our class, went to Brown undergrad and Columbia graduate, smart.”
  Aaron’s eyes go wide in disbelief. “And this is the same guy who, completely sober, tried putting his mattress in the pool so that he didn’t have to sleep in his own dorm?”
  “The very same one. He’s like a lobbyist now or something for some activist group.”
  “Wow, I did not expect that. Do you remember when he got so high that he thought his joint was going to catch the dorms on fire?” Aaron asks, the words barely discernible through his laughter. “So he warned campus police that the whole school was going to burn down.”
  “Yes!” you giggle, your head thrown back in laughter. “They thought it was an arson threat and they had to evacuate the whole school. I was taking an English final during that.”
  Aaron’s shoulder pressing against yours makes a shiver run down your spine. You idly wonder how much closer he can get to you if he really tried.
  As if reading your mind, Aaron turns towards you a little more so that your knees are touching and you can feel his breath on the side of your neck. “We went to the beach that weekend,” he says quietly, unwilling to break eye contact with you. “Drank cheap beer. You got stung by a jellyfish. I had to carry you back to the car.”
  No, no. You were not about to fall for Aaron Hotchner’s charm again that easily. Not again. It took you too long to get over him the first time. Still, you were leaning closer to Aaron, and Aaron was leaning in towards you, and your noses brushed as you tilt your head to the side ever so slightly and—
  And his phone rings. Aaron’s eyes flickered to your lips one last time before pulling away, giving you an apologetic look.
  “Hotchner,” he answers, and you pull your coat tighter around yourself as realization sinks into you. You feel like you’re 17 again, desperately waiting for Aaron to ask you to prom, only to hide in your dorm for days on end when he asked Haley Brooks.
  When Aaron hangs up, he immediately reaches into his pocket to pull out his wallet, setting enough cash on the table to cover the tab and tip. “That was work. We have to fly out to Arizona. I’m sorry.”
  You nod understandingly. “Gotta catch the bad guys. When do you leave?”
  It’s silent for a few torturous moments before he finally answers. “An hour, at most. We brief at the office and then get on the plane.”
  “Wow,” you breathe. “You weren’t kidding when you said that you live out of your suitcase. Can I walk back with you, at least?”
  Aaron smiles, a small smile that makes you wonder how often he actually smiles now. It used to be a lot, but from what he’s told you, it seems like he’s had a rough go of it the last couple of years, and has a lot less to smile about. It makes you sad because when you were traveling the world, his smile was the one thing you missed the most.
  “I’d really like that.”
  The two of you make small talk on the way back, swapping stories about Jack and your various adventures around the globe. The autumn air is crisp with leaves falling all around you. At one point, there was a big gust of wind, and leaves and pine needles got blown onto the two of you, and you took your sweet time running your fingers through his hair, bushing it all off him. 
  When you get to the entrance of the FBI building, neither one of you says anything. You just stand there, both unwilling to say goodbye. You turn to face each other, just as close as you were in the diner booth.
  “Oh, you have a…” Aaron delicately reaches his hand to your hair. His fingers in your hair make your stomach do flips, and you’re almost positive he can hear your racing heartbeat. His eyes stay trained on yours the entire time, never blinking. “Pine needle,” he whispers, holding the offending object between his fingers.
  “Thanks,” you breathe, and you’re not sure if it’s the autumn chill or his hand reaching to cup your cheek that sends goosebumps throughout your body.
  As if he were magnetic, you rise onto your toes, bringing yourself closer to him, and you press your lips against his. Aaron deepens the kiss and runs his thumb across your cheekbone. His other hand wraps itself around your waist. The kiss is slow and sensual and better than anything you could have dreamed of — and you dream of Aaron kissing you more often than you’d like to admit.
  All too soon, the two of you pull away from each other, both wearing matching smiles.
  “I should probably… get in there… before my team sends out a search party,” Aaron says reluctantly, pointing towards the entrance. 
  You give his hand a soft squeeze. “Go save lives. I’ll probably be around for a few more days before heading up to New York. If you’re back by then.”
  Aaron purses his lips, deep in thought. “You’re definitely settling down somewhere? Done with seeing the world?”
  “That’s the plan.”
  “Have you… Do you think…” Aaron takes a grounding breath, trying to gather the words he was too afraid to ask back at graduation. “Have you ever considered settling down here? There’s a pretty big art community here.”
  You shrug, ignoring excitement building in your chest. “I think my work is a little too experimental for the people of the capitol.”
  “You’d be surprised,” he chuckles.
  You bring your lower lip between your teeth, chewing nervously at it. “I don’t know… I left for a reason. I just don’t know what DC has to offer me anymore.”
  Aaron spreads his arms out at his side, palms facing you in an uncharacteristic display of vulnerability. “There’s me,” he offers, and, when your eyes go wide, he adds, “And Stoner Stephen, if I’m not enough.”
  A laugh bursts out of you uncontrollably, which seems to put both you and Aaron at ease. “That makes it a very tempting offer,” you tease.
  “And I have a coworker who flips houses. He’ll be able to tell you where to get the best deal on an apartment,” Aaron presses as if you need any more convincing. As if your mind isn’t already made up.
  “First, I need to know that there’s more than one good place to get milkshakes,” you point out, shoving your hands in your coat pockets. “You’ll have to show me around when you get back.”
  Aaron’s lips quirk up in a hopeful smile. “It’s a date.”
  He makes his way towards the entrance of the Hoover Building, but you call out his name, stopping him once more. “We’ll also need a new Sunday breakfast place. Since our old one is closed down.”
  Now, his smile is one of pure joy, and his eyes are sparkling in a way you haven’t seen in years. “I know just the place. As long as you don’t up and leave without telling me again.”
  “Never again,” you promise, and for once, the idea of staying doesn’t terrify you.
  “Then we’ll get breakfast together as soon as I get back.”
  You smile at him, already missing the feeling of his lips on yours. “I’ll see you then.”
370 notes · View notes
sigillaria-svt · 3 years
Text
Notes from the Moon (University AU)
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Pairing: Moon Junhui x Reader
Word Count: 5,637
Warning: None
Genres: fluff,  secret admirer, bestfriend!Minghao, female reader
Synopsis:
Throughout his college life, Junhui has been contented with admiring from afar. It didn’t matter to him that she wasn’t aware, or that nothing was between them except a friendly acquaintance. However, Minghao knew deep inside that Junhui wanted to start moving forward, and thus he provided the starting ground for a series of secret notes that would end up becoming the seed to building Junhui’s confidence.
Junhui wasn't entirely sure when it all started. On his first day in college, he barely knew anyone except Minghao who he went to high school with. He couldn't remember the names of his classmates after they introduced themselves. However, there was one person that made a strong impression on him. Although he didn’t remember her name at first, he was drawn to the way that her eyes seemed to glow with curiosity.
 Because of his bad eyesight, he always wanted to sit in the front along with Minghao, albeit at the far right corner of the room so that he can get away with dozing off just in case it was going to be a long class session. Somehow, with the same mindset, she sat at the front too. At first, it meant nothing to Junhui other than an interesting classmate.
 That is, until he started paying more attention to her, and less attention on the lesson.
 She wasn’t the type that attracted looks at first glance. She was a normal person with a strong sense of passion, but somehow, Junhui didn’t quite know how to act around her. Eventually, he just decided to look from afar, where he knew he didn't have to deal with overthinking what to say and do. It's not like he didn't try to before, either. On some days, he tried to approach her to ask about an assignment or to borrow a pen, but it ended up as small talk that fizzed away after a few sentences.
 Doesn't help that her eyes tended to be fixated on the whiteboard, and not much else.
 In a way, Junhui was thankful that she was always set on the lessons and assignments. He could look at her all day and she wouldn't notice a thing. For a time he was satisfied with just this—just admiring her every day without her knowing anything. It’s not like she was going anywhere. No one else ever showed romantic interest in her either, which gave Junhui all the more reason to continue staying as he was.
 However, feelings can’t always be completely contained, especially if they’ve been growing slowly over a series of months.
 It was a beautiful warm day in June, so Junhui and Minghao took the opportunity to be in the library for most of it. The library had large windows that spanned the entire wall, giving a view of the greenery outside the building. The temperature inside was just right, making it a favorite spot for students who wanted to study in comfort and quietude.
 She was sitting a few tables away, a pair of earphones filling her time with piano music as she prepared to take notes for the test the next day. Junhui sat with Minghao, who was studying seriously while Jun was looking up from his notes once every few minutes.
 "If you keep on looking at her like that, might as well stop studying and look at her for three hours." Minghao said, eyes still fixated on his notes below him.
 "What? I’m not doing that, I'm studying!" Junhui said defensively, careful to make sure that his voice doesn’t go above the appropriate level for libraries.
 "Then what are you looking at?"
 "This book, of course." Junhui responded while indicating the book in his hands.
 Minghao looked over at the page Junhui was on, "Uhuh, and what does it say about the Law of the Minimum?"
 "Hmm, something about a function..."
 Minghao looked at him, "Jun... it's been two years. Are you really just going to stay as an admirer from afar?"
 "I know, I know. I'm just not sure how to approach her. I mean, I know what I want to say and do, but I'm just afraid that I'll mess it up." Junhui scratched the back of his hand. “You know what I mean right?”
 Minghao sighed and put his hand on Junhui's shoulder. "So do you want to make a move or not?"
 Jun raised his eyes and looked around, scared that someone else might overhear them. "Huh?"
 "Come on, I know you do. The silent admirer thing has been fun and all, but you’ve really been getting more restless these past few days, especially when she’s around.”
 "No, I mean yes. I mean...”
 Minghao groaned in slight exasperation, "She's smart, so I'll teach you something that will make sure that she won't stop thinking about you."
 He pulled out a pouch from his bag and took out a stack of green sticky notes. He laid it in front of Junhui along with a pen. Junhui looked at him with confusion, but Minghao simply raised his eyebrows and motioned for him to take it.
 "If you're too shy to talk to her, then you can just write instead." Minghao said.
 Junhui started to panic internally. "But what if she finds out that it's me?"
 "If she finds out, she finds out." Minghao said with a shrug, as if it were no big deal. He tapped on the stacks of sticky notes. "It's not like she memorizes everyone's handwriting. To be honest, you don't write much either, so she isn't going to know."
 Junhui took the pen in his hands and thought hard. He wanted to write something that wouldn’t make it seem like it's him, but something that would pique her curiosity enough for her to keep the note.
 He started writing. I like your shirt. He bit his lip as he finished writing. He looked up at Minghao who looks at Jun as if he just committed a crime.
"Seriously? I like your shirt?"
 Minghao took out the note and crumpled it. "Make it something nicer. Don't think too hard and try again."
 "But..."
 "Did I stutter? Don't think too hard."
 Jun was about to whine, but stopped. He thought about the first thing that he's ever wanted to said to her, but couldn't. He knew that it was somewhere at the back of his head, he just had to put it into words. He thinks about the way that she seems to put all her focus into whatever it is she was doing, about the way she lost track of time working on a project, and in the way that she was excited to answer any question that you threw at her.
 He didn’t understand why simple things about her made him so flustered. The simple existence of a person shouldn’t be making you lose sleep thinking about what things made her happy. Junhui pursed his lips and wrote a simple sentence on the piece of paper.
 Your passion is beautiful.
 He looked at it for a moment, wondering if it would be enough. No, it had to be enough. This was the starting point of everything, not the end. It shouldn’t matter if he messed up now.
 Minghao looked over and smiled at him. "See? I knew you had it in you."
 Just as Jun had finished writing, she took off her earphones and stood up. She headed over to the bathroom with her phone in hand, leaving her textbooks and notes scattered on the table.
 When she's out of sight, Minghao nudges Junhui. Junhui looks at his friend with wide eyes, broken out of his focus on his newly written note.
"Go on and put it on her table while she's not there!" Minghao whispers.
 "What, we're doing this now?" Junhui whispers back.
 "When are you supposed to do it? When we graduate? Go ahead and do it!" 
 Minghao pushed him enough just to get him off his seat. Jun clumsily walked to her table, looking to see if her friends are around. Once Jun saw that it was clear, he quickly stuck the note on one of her open pages and walked back to his table red as a tomato. Jun falls to his seat and covers his face in embarrassment.
 "Was that so bad?" Minghao asked.
 "I can't believe I'm actually doing this." A mess of red blushes covered Jun's face, up to his ears.
 Just then, she got back from the restroom and sat on her chair as she put her earphones back on. She picks up her pen to continue writing, until she noticed the green note that was left on her notebook.
 Minghao pulled Jun's hands away from his face. "Wait, look, she's reading it."
 She took out one earphone and picked up the not, a smile forming over her face as she read the sentence. She looked around to see who might have left it, and Junhui quickly looked back down at his book, pretending not to notice. However, he did take a small peak up from the corner of the book enough to see her tuck the note in one of her notebooks. Minghao gave Junhui a proud smile, but says nothing else.
 For the rest of the afternoon, Junhui watched as the girl he's been liking for the past two years smile widely as she wrote notes and highlighted sentences on her textbook.
 Now, he didn’t have to keep on thinking about what made her happy. Here was there actually doing it by his own efforts.
 Now that he was finally able to say what he always wanted to, it left a soft and fuzzy feeling in his chest. The fact that she kept his note and didn't throw it away makes him even happier.
 He thought about the idea of her ever liking him back. It seemed like a childish thing to think about, but it was the first time he ever put serious thought into things like this. He realized that he has no idea how to even go about finding out, at least not the first time. It's fine if he doesn't find out right away, anyway. He's just happy that he's finally taken the first giant step forward.
 Eventually, she packed up her things and made her way to leave the library. Meanwhile, Jun's eyes followed her around until she's out of sight.
 "I think it's time to go." He says, standing up from his chair.
 Minghao looks up from his book, nodding back to him. "Yeah, me too. So, what do you think? Happy?"
 Junhui says nothing else, opting to give his best friend the biggest smile instead. Minghao didn’t need any words either, he understood Junhui just by the look on his face. So long as his friend was happy, he was more than willing to help him build up his confidence.
 This was just the start of the many notes that Junhui would leave on her books or on her desk whenever she wasn't looking. For all those years that he wasn't able to say anything, he was finally able to put it into words and send it over to her. Every day, Jun would end up excited to write another new note that he would try to sneak in without anyone else noticing. At times, he wrote whatever just came into mind, at times earning a weird look from Minghao because of how cheesy it sounded.
 You look amazing even when you think you don't. If you weren’t aware, now you are.
 I don’t know why, but you look very attractive when you’re focused.
 You've done well, don't forget to rest well and eat well. Congratulations on getting the highest score.
 I hope you don’t mind me admiring you in secret.
 You looked sad yesterday, I hope you’re doing alright. I found out myself that watching puppy videos online cheered me up, you should try it too.
 I like the way that you laugh, it’s very joyful and carefree. I hope you stay happy and healthy all the time.
 On other days, he ended up writing something without much thought. It didn’t bother him—he wanted her to know his thoughts, even those that seem random and out of nowhere.
 The moon was beautiful last night, did you see it?
  I noticed that you really like the color yellow. It’s nice and bright, I like it too.
 I think the chicken came before the egg, but my friend has been bugging me that the egg came first. I wouldn’t know, really, I’m not a bird.
 Are you curious about who I am?
 As much as possible, Jun would try to stay around to check for her reaction. To Jun's satisfaction, it would always leave a smile on her face. That smile was all he needed to continue his hopes of starting something between them. It's not like he could just go up to her and say "Hey, do you have a moment? I’m actually that guy that keeps sending over green sticky notes."
 As much as Jun enjoyed sending notes over, the girl had been starting to grow all the more curious about who this secret person was. It happened one early morning when Jun had arrived at the classroom to stick his note on her desk where she always sat for their first class. However, instead of seeing an empty white desk, he saw a yellow sticky note right where he usually stuck his notes on. 
 Similar to his own notes, she wrote a message:
 Who are you?
 She had also written her name and class on it. Now that she had asked, he wasn't going to reply with just his name, he wasn't ready for that just yet. To be honest, he was just delaying the process, but that was fine by him. What could he say?
 Not wanting to make it too obvious, he wrote down a riddle instead. She's smart enough to get good marks on their tests, so Jun was sure she would figure this out in no time. However, he wanted to make it vague enough to just reveal a bit. Jun took out the pen in his pocket and wrote:
 You can find me at night if you look up in the right direction.
 He took off her note and placed it carefully into his notebook before replacing it with his own green note. He quickly walked out of the room, heart beating fast. He didn't expect her to respond in that way, but he was happy that she was getting interested.
 Just as he had predicted, he saw her at the classroom later that morning. There were a group of students gathered at the front of the room, but she still managed to catch his eye. However, this morning was louder than usual, with her friends surrounding her in excitement.
 "They left a riddle?!" One of her friends said, leaning in to read the note. "As if he, or she, wasn't already mysterious enough."
 "What does it say?" The one who had asked the question for everyone else now asks her.
 "It says you can find me at night if you look up in the right direction."
 One of her friends crossed his arms. "Probably one of those night owls that spend their time in those 24/7 cafes until morning. Explains why they always seem to give you notes early in the morning when no one's around."
 Jun gave a small chuckle as he listened in from one corner of the room. The only reason why he was able to put in those notes early is that he lives in the dorm right across from their campus. He just went in before anyone else arrived at the room and returned to the dorm to go back to sleep. Junhui continued to listen in as the group tried to unravel the riddle.
 "So, what's the answer?" One of the guys asked.
 Before she could respond, someone else answered for her. "Don't you think it has something to do with the sky?"
 Shee points upward as if the answer is right there. "Either way, we have the first-period class in 10 minutes, so we better hurry and solve this." The first one said, turning around.
 After a few moments of trying to think of the possible answers, the first person spoke again. "Hey, why don't we just... Call him out on it? I mean, if he's been leaving all of these notes on your desk, then he probably knows where you sit all the time. He's got to be a classmate."
 Junhui's heart started to race. He knew that if they just try hard enough, they're bound to figure out that it's him, especially since her group of friends is quite large. All they really need is just the time to check the handwriting and ask around. Someone must have seen him at least once or twice with the pad of green sticky notes.
 "Yeah, but where's the fun in that?" She said with a laugh, to Jun's relief. "I want to try and figure out who they are based on their hints."
 "You're just making this harder for yourself, you know?"
 "I mean, if they wanted me to know who they were right away, then they would have just approached me right then and there." She tucked in the sticky note in her notebook, which was now filled with all of Jun's other secret notes. "Let's try to figure it out more after class."
 As the topic is changed, Jun felt relieved. He wouldn't have been able to concentrate in class with everyone trying to figure out the riddle right beside him.
 However, Jun was feeling a bit braver today than usual. In one of their classes, they were free to work on their task however they wanted so long as everyone stayed inside the classroom. Jun and Minghao managed to find a spot in the classroom next to where the girl was sitting. She was typing something on her laptop, but her notebook was right beside her with some of the green papers peeking out.
 Minghao decided to join in on the plan. "Hey, I heard about the commotion before class. Have you really been exchanging notes with this mystery person?"
 "Yeah, why?" The girl said without looking up from the laptop.
 "How does it feel?" He said, leaning towards her.
 "How does what feel?"
 “Ahh, come on, I know you know what I’m talking about.” Minghao crossed his arms. "How does it feel to get notes from someone you don't know?"
 "It's nothing special." She said, not sounding enticed at all by his question.
 Junhui's heart drops for a bit, and Minghao tries not to give him a look.
 "If someone I barely knew was leaving me notes, it would definitely mean something." He said, trying to take a different route. “It’s exciting, isn’t it?”
 The corners of her mouth go up, trying to suppress a smile.
 "See?" Minghao said, half at her and half at Junhui. Her face started to turn red and she turned around to face away from Minghao.
 Her shoulders started to shake as she tried not to laugh. "Would you go away already?" She laughs, turning off her laptop and standing up. "It's nothing special, I just find it kind of cute that this person, whoever they are, is so clueless about how I feel."
 Minghao and Junhui exchange looks. She's definitely not confessing anything to them.
 "Ahhh, come on. How long have you had those notes from him?"
 "A while now." She answers, picking up her bag and laptop. She grabs her things and walks past the two of them, turning her head to look at them.
 "So what's the deal then?" 
 "We’ll see once I figure it out." She said finally, giving one last glance at the two boys. She briskly walked to the front of the room, passing her flash drive to the professor before she headed out of the room.
 Junhui finally released the breath that he never realized that he was holding. He leaned back in his chair as the professor reminded them that they have 20 more minutes to pass their outputs.
 "She likes you." Minghao said quietly.
 "Shut up." Jun said, but he can't help but smile.
 Just like that, Jun had been dropping small hints about himself. It made him really excited to see that she was also enjoying it. Her friends became just as invested as she was, but she always made sure that they wouldn't try to do a stakeout to figure out who the mystery writer was. On the other hand, Minghao had been working with Junhui to make it even more exciting. The idea came to him one night while they were hanging out at Junhui's dorm.
 "What about we attach a QR code and make it into a kind of treasure hunt?" Minghao said as he takes a bite of his chicken salad.
 "A QR code to what?"
 "To a music playlist." Minghao opened up the Spotify app on his phone. “They’ll enjoy trying to figure out each song. I’m pretty sure she isn’t the type to just listen casually to songs without understanding what the lyrics mean.”
 "Wait, isn't she going to know that I made it?"
 "Not if we make a new account to make it all anonymous." Minghao replied. "So, do you want to try it out and see their reaction tomorrow?"
 Junhui thought it through, kind of shy at the idea of making a playlist for someone. However, he went along with it. He tried his best not to include songs that would immediately give him away. With Minghao's help, he eventually printed out the QR code and stuck it on the sticky note. Junhui took out his pen and wrote above the code:
 It looks like you're really trying hard to figure out who I am. Check this out.
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Then he got really nervous and turned the notepad over. Minghao gave him a look, but Junhui only rolled over on his bed, flustered at the idea. Junhui paused for a moment with his face buried in the pillows. "Okay, alright, I'll do it. I can do it."
 "Good." Hao hit him on the leg before getting up to clean his plate.
 The next day, the reactions were just as Minghao expected them to be. One of her friends immediately took out their phone to scan the code, ecstatic to find themselves at a Spotify playlist.
 At this point, they still didn't know who the secret admirer was, but one of them was starting to think it was Junhui. Although they never saw him put the notes on himself, Junhui always seemed to be around the area whenever she got the notes.
 However, they were never really able to find enough evidence that it was Jun, so it was all left as a theory on their side.
 Although the notes were there every single day for the past month, Jun suddenly stopped sending them. This wasn't because he was losing the mood for it, but because he wanted them to actually start figuring out who he was. He was happy that she had been getting curious, but he wanted to start going beyond just leaving notes on her table every morning. He wanted to go up to her and talk without getting shy, to hold her hand instead of imagining it. He didn’t expect that his feelings would grow like that.
 That's why he needed time. Time for them to actually talk to each other and not be simple classmates anymore.
 For the next two weeks, the notes just stopped, and they were left with only the Spotify Playlist as a hint for who the secret admirer was.
 They talked about it in class, some thought it might be a fellow student, while others thought it was too vague and might be someone outside of school. Fearing that she forgot about it, Jun left one final note for her to unravel.
 Junhui stood in the dim room early in the morning, pen and sticky note pad in hand. He leaned on the desk and writes his final message.
 Do you know who I am now?
 Jun paused for a moment, before adding the first hint he'd ever sent her.
 You can find me at night if you look up in the right direction.
 It was perfect for the occasion. There was going to be a full moon tonight with cloudless skies. She'd surely be able to find the moon. His last name isn’t necessarily the most common one out there. She should be able to figure that the moon was meant to point to him, Moon Junhui.
 And so, he left the notes for her. Jun quickly returned to his dorm. He was too nervous to go back to sleep and ended up playing games on his phone in an attempt to pass the time.
 However, when he went into class that morning, there seemed to be no fuss. The note was nowhere to be found and she was studying on her desk like she normally would.
 Anxiously, he glanced around, but there's nothing out of the ordinary. His heart began to race. Did she find his clue? Did she realize who he is? He'd have no way of finding out. The rest of the day felt like walking through the mud as Junhui tried to hold himself back from outright approaching the girl and declaring himself to be the secret writer all along.
 He was too nervous that he wouldn't know how to explain himself if she really did figure out who he was. At the same time, he wanted to finally take the next step forward, still slightly scared of how she might actually react.
 Just as he was about to lose all hope, the full moon finally appeared in the sky. Jun was on his way back to the dorm when he received a call from an unregistered number. "Hello?"
 "Did you run out of sticky notes? Is this why you haven't been sending me notes for the past few weeks?
 Jun stood frozen in the middle of the sidewalk. It was her. She finally figured it out. He opened his mouth to speak, but he didn't know what to say without stuttering.
 Jun stood there for a good ten seconds before the girl spoke up again, "Hello? Is this Junhui? Did I get the right number?" She started to hum some song on the other end, not hearing the silence from his end.
 "Uh, yeah...erm..." Jun managed to spit out. "How did you find out?"
 "Having 'moon' as the title of your playlist wasn't exactly the most mysterious thing, you know?" She said with a bright tone. “How I figured it out is a long story, so let’s just say that you sound a lot like the notes you were putting up.”
"So you've known for quite a while now?"
 "Yeah, I just didn't want to do anything yet before... checking out a few things." She pauses for a moment. "Are you free right now?"
 "Uh... yeah I am." Junhui managed to spit out, a bit more steadily than before now that he’s gotten himself together.
 "Good, because we need to talk. Don't be so scared, It's not bad news." She laughs at the other end. "Meet me at the department lobby in ten?"
 Jun gave her a small yes and dropped the call. With shaky hands, he quickly dialed Minghao and told him all about it.
 "Well, isn't that good? You're finally getting to where you want." His friend said nonchalantly.
 "That's the point! I didn't know it was suddenly going to happen like this!" Junhui paced back and forth. "I'm going to be a stuttering mess, I didn't prepare for this! Well I mean, I wanted this, but it’s just…AH!!"
 "Look, you're going to be fine. You're just nervous, that's all."
 "...Can't you come with me?"
 "Huh? Jun, I'm just going to be an awkward third wheel. You need to go to her yourself. I'm going to hang up, good luck."
 "Wait, no, Hao--" Before Jun could continue, his friend ended the call, leaving him alone in his nervousness.
 He had to go do this himself. If he didn't, he'd always regret it. Junhui gave himself a few slaps on the face before turning around to head back into their building.
 The lobby was found right at the entrance of their building. It had a small indoor garden with a few benches and tables. Jun fidgeted with his phone as he stepped in, looking for the familiar figure that he had been watching over all this time.
 When Junhui found her, he held his breath.
 This is it. This is finally it.
 She turned her head to look at him, smiling at him. She was sitting on one of the benches, her notebook filled with Junhui's notes on her lap.
 She stood up and walked towards him. "Hi."
 "H-hello." Jun says nervously, taking a small step back. "So you finally found out, huh?"
 "Well it wasn't that hard to figure out. It wasn't until I started noticing that you've been staring at me a lot during our classes that I was definitely sure that it was you."
 "I do?" He knew that he absolutely was, but he wasn’t aware that it was actually that obvious to her.
 "Yeah, you do. But I didn't mind it, if that's what you're wondering." She answers as if it was the most normal thing in the world to say. "One question though, why?"
 "Why what?"
 "Why do you like me? As far as I know, I'm not really the kind of girl that gets all the guys riled up. Being a study freak doesn’t really scream girlfriend material, you know? As far as I’m concerned, I even hear that people get intimidated by me for reasons I can’t really pinpoint.”
 "I... Eh..."
 "Don't worry about it, I'm not mad."
 A small laugh escaped from Junhui's mouth. "No, I don't think you would be."
 The girl looked at him patiently as Junhui takes a few moments to compose his thoughts. "Well, you're smart and outspoken, but I don't think that's something I should be intimidated about. I actually think it's pretty incredible that you stand up for what you believe is right. I don't know if you see it or not, but you become different when you concentrate on your work, well I mean, in a good way, of course."
 "You really think so?" She asked in disbelief, as if she didn't have a kind word for herself.
 "Yeah, I really think so." He nods, being completely sincere.
 The girl tilted her head a bit as if considering his compliments. Then, she returned her attention to her notebook.
 "You know, these notes really meant a lot to me." She said with a small voice. "I've been having a difficult time these past few months, but I didn't really tell anyone about it. Just when I was really getting sick of everything, your notes suddenly popped up into my daily life. For that, thank you so much."
 "You're welcome." Junhui pressed his lips together. "Do you mind if I ask you a question in return?"
 "Go ahead."
 "What do you think about me?" The question was out of his mouth before he could stop it. He immediately clamped his lips and cheeks shut, waiting for her answer.
 She laughed. "Don't be so nervous." She told him. "Well to be honest with you, I'm not yet sure. It's really the first time someone liked me in this way. I tried to think about it to settle my feelings, but I always get caught up doing something else in the middle of it. If anything... I guess you make me happy in a way?"
 "I make you happy?" He could barely believe she said that.
 "Yeah, that's it. You can make me really happy, or at least that's what I think you're capable of doing."
 "That's, that's great!" Junhui felt like he was floating.
 "I'm glad that it made sense to you." She grinned. "I don't know if I'd call it love just yet. Would you give me time to think it through?"
 "Uh, of course." He nodded. "I'd hate for you to make a hasty decision just because I reached out to you."
 "Alright. Thank you, Junhui."
 The both of them stood there in silence for a few seconds. Just ecstatic to know how they felt about each other. After all the initial anxiety and sneaking around, everything finally felt that it was worth it. Sure, he didn't know if she would ever reciprocate his feelings in the same way, but now that the cat's out of the bag, he felt that there really was something waiting for them at the end of the road. 
 Junhui can't help but smile like a kid.
 "Why are you looking at me like that?" The girl asked.
 "I'm just in shock. That's all." He smiles.
 She gives a small chuckle and looks away. "Your personality is very adorable, are you aware? If not, now you are."
 "Huh? What? Oh! No. Well, I mean I know, but I'm just surprised someone told me." He laughed nervously. Junhui cleared his throat. "So, do you want to grab some dinner with me? I know all the good Chinese restaurants around campus."
 The girl smiled. "I'd love to."
 That was the start of it all. At first, Junhui regretted not telling her earlier, but now he understands that it was just the perfect time for it. He was happy enough to have her by his side, slowly figuring out the complex intricacies of her personality one small piece at a time. It was a joy to know her, and an even greater joy to fall in love with her. It didn't matter that they were taking slow steps, what mattered to him is that they find peace in the pace that the other was on.
 This was more than enough for him.
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fy-2pm · 3 years
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[Interview] 2PM's Taecyeon 1st Look Magazine
In "Vincenzo", going back and forth as the foolish intern lawyer and the cold-blooded sociopath, Ok Taecyeon has added tension. Another side of him begins.
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Q: It has been approximately one year since your last acting piece and you're back with the drama <VINCENZO>. Did you watch the first episode?
T: Of course, I really enjoyed watching it. Actually, I don't know much about the part without my appearance until I watched it on TV. So, it's like something new to me. Watching the first episode, I realized I am in a project that's much bigger than I thought.
Q: What's your reaction?
T: Overall, it was fun. However, there were many scenes with the comical elements came out stronger than I thought. As this is the work from scriptwriter, Park Jae-Beom, I expected some comical elements to some extent but most of them, I didn't even think about it.
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Q: Like you said, scriptwriter Park Jae-Beom is someone who will address the social issues in a comical way. What's it like to work with him?
T: While I was reading the script, I thought the writer has something he wanted to say. He wanted to bring out social criticism through his piece of work. Actually, the black comedy genre needs to be more comical so that it won't be too heavily weighted. It's not easy. The scriptwriter managed to solve this without placing too much weight on this. Personally, I am very impress.
Q: At the drama press conference, Director Kim Hee Won told us that she worked very hard on each character to the extent that it took her 6 months to do casting. Why do you think Ok Taecyeon became Jang Jun Woo?
T: I think the biggest reason is my good health. From Director Kim's perspective, bright and healthy image matches with Junwoo's character. She said I should be able to explore and express this character well.
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Q: Actually, I thought Jang Junwoo would be very different to the Ok Taecyeon that we know for a long time.
T: When I first received the script, I thought, "Should I be doing this?" because Jang Junwoo and I have a lot in common. The very first scene for Junwoo is riding an electric scooter, which made me feel if someone is hiding a camera to film my real life. I like to ride it all the time (laugh). However, as the story unfolds, it is more than just Junwoo's foolish out look. I'm going to show a different side of me, so I am paying a lot of attention in my acting.
Q: With a different side, what would that be?
T: I think Jang Junwoo is someone with many sides and shadings. It's character that goes back and forth between cold and hot bath. I keep thinking, "Can I express it like this?" I am thinking into each and single details. Personally, I have never acted like this before, so I'm expressing it in various different ways under the directions from the director. Viewers will be able to see this, I wonder how they will accept it.
Q: Personally, I think your "Tikitaka" with senior lawyer played by Jeon Yeo Bin was impressive. I'm looking forward to see the chemistry between you two. (T/N: "Tikitaka" means "the situation whereby someone does something and the other supports with efficient responses")
T: Actually I tried to get to know each other better. She's an actress who receives well and so, we are in sync when say our script lines.
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Q: Jang Junwoo is an intern who just took his first step into the society. What was Ok Taecyeon like when he first started? Let's talk about the old days.
T: When I first started working... It was already 15 years ago (laugh). Back then, to me, everything was fun. The very first time I earned my own money was when I did some modelling. At that time, I didn't have a manager, so I took the bus with heavy stage makeup. I also went to practice just like that. However, everything was really fun. At that time, my parents were in the US and I came back to Korea alone. One of the fun things is to tell them each and everything I did for work.
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Q: <VINCENZO> will be meeting global viewers via Netflix. Will the global viewers be able to relate to the story?
T: For sure, I don't think there's anything you can relate to it. This is because it is a black comedy where they are pointing out the current problems in Korean society. However, if you look at it at a wider scope, the definition of a dark hero is the same in any society. Viewers with their conventional thoughts and curiosity will have questions as to why things are not resolved by the law. I think this is where <VINCENZO> will attract the global viewers.
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Q: You have been an actor for more than 10 years. When was the first time, you are convinced about this?
T: I think it was at the time when I was filming the drama <WONDERFUL DAYS>. One day after shooting a scene, the writer praised me for doing well. While I was filming, I thought, "Am I doing it okay?". I didn't know I would get a good compliment. After the filming, I was able to feel the relief of my nervousness, which I have never felt before. For the first time, I thought, "Is this the charm of acting?"
Q: When you first dream of becoming an actor to now, is there any difference?
T: Well, I think we should use the expression "When I first started" rather than "When I first dreamed" about it. I think I really started not knowing what was really going on. With the thought that I am working with nice people, every time I go to work, I will think about how I can contribute to make it interesting and fun in the filming. I thought about how I can express more. I think it's about time for me to think about how to make my characters look new.
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Q: Actually, there is no right or wrong answer for acting. Sometimes, there are different opinions but what kind of choices do you have to make?
T: Personally, I will analyze the characters and prepare a lot of things. Sometimes, I will approach the director. Times like that, I will follow the director's instructions. Of course, there are also times when I have my own thoughts. However, no matter how I act, it doesn't mean much if it gets edited out later. I came across an actor who doesn't look at his acting at all on the monitor. If he sees his own acting, he would be forcing his acting without realizing it. So when he the director says it's okay, he is okay with it, too. After hearing that, I thought that was right too.
Q: What attracts you when you look at a piece of work?
T: Personally, I think how the story flows is important. Next is, what can I show with this character? I will look into it.
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Q: What's the joy living as an actor?
T: While you get to play different characters every time, you can also break down people's prejudice. I think this is the part with the most fun. So I think it's important to take on new challenges with something new. I am always thinking how to keep people's attentions and to what extend people can take when I do something outrageous.
Q: If so, what does actor Ok Taecyeon want to show with his acting?
T: Honestly, instead of showing a completely different side of me, I am trying to focus on what I already have and I'll increase all aspects little by little. I was watching my acting to look for the character's flow and what the character is missing all at once. I'm trying to do that (laugh).
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Q: By the way, at the end of last year, 2PM announced their group comeback at a live. How's the preparation going?
T: We're preparing but I'm not sure if we can make a comeback this year (laugh). We are planning but there are situations overlapping so we need to organize that.
Q: Since 2016, it's been 5 years since your last group album. Personally, anything you want to show us?
T: As all our members are composing songs, we all have different ideas. Like what music to use as our title song? We cannot make a start unless we find our direction. Actually, once the title song is decided, it will progress from then on, but members haven't come to a decision yet. Recently, our first round of gathering failed (laugh).
Q: Define Ok Taecyeon in a few words. What words are appropriate?
T: A lot of people said the words "healthy" or "vitamin C" (laugh). Personally, I like all of them. However, if I put them all together, I hope I can become the "Happy Virus." Doesn't matter where I go, I want to give happiness to many people. As a singer who is acting, if you watch me act and you can feel the comfort and happiness from my heart that would be great.
Q: I think you have achieved this. Everyone in the site here today is happy. Thanks to Taecyeon.
T: Really? Then, that's all. What. Hahaha...
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Trans @JLML718
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writethelifeyouwant · 3 years
Text
Dive Bar, Ch 8/?
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Pairing: Dean x Sam (eventually, he he he) | Sam x OMC (Chase) brief 
Rating: 18+
Prompt/Summary: After a one night stand with a random college chick turns into a threesome that also featured his little brother, Dean- well, frankly, he panics. What’s even worse than gay panicking? Gay incest panicking. Luckily, Sam winds up being a little more cool about the whole thing than Dean ever would have imagined.
WC: 3,631
Tags: Awful flirting (but I’m not sorry), gay panic, angst, Dean having graphic naughty thoughts, male masturbation, blow job, rimming, anal sex, cock ring (? kinda) 
Warnings: thoughts about to brother/brother incest
Beta:  @negans-lucille-tblr, actual angel 😇
Divider: @firefly-graphics ❤️
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Sam looked up at the sound of slow clapping, expecting it to be Dean returning with their refills just in time to see Sam pot the last ball. But he couldn’t see Dean, and it took him a moment to identify the clapper as the guy with dark blonde hair strolling towards him with a look of contemplation on his slim face.
“That was pretty impressive,” the guy nodded at the pool table, and Sam straightened up a little, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck.
“Uh, thanks,” Sam shrugged, the game he’d felt so proud of - and wanted to rub in Dean’s face a moment ago - now making him feel self conscious. He hadn’t meant to draw any kind of attention to himself. That was normally Dean’s forte.
“Where’d you learn how to do that?”
“My um, my brother taught me.” Sam clutched the pool cue between his hands, eyes darting around and landing on Dean at the bar. His breath eased a little once he knew where he was. The new guy’s eyes followed Sam’s and found him watching Dean at the bar.
“That guy’s your brother?”
“Yeah,” Sam nodded cautiously.
“Well, that is a relief,” he laughed fully, openly.
Sam was taken aback. “Why?”
“Because if he was your boyfriend I was probably gonna get beat up for hitting on you.” He smiled warmly, his eyes twinkling, but still a little shy.
Sam blinked, dumbfounded. He didn’t know why he hadn’t been expecting it. He’d had a suspicion that this place was an LGBT haunt based on the number of same-sex couples he’d noticed dotted around, but that hadn’t led him to the conclusion that he’d maybe have an opportunity he hadn’t had since Dean had picked him up from Stanford. Sam glanced nervously back to Dean at the bar, watching him knock back a shot of something, not paying attention to his little brother. But why did Sam even care if Dean saw him talking to this guy? He breathed out sharply when he realised that he didn’t have to hide this from Dean - he’d come out to him last month. He didn’t have to be worried about what Dean thought if he saw him talking to - what was this guy’s name?
“I’m Sam,” Sam offered his hand, and the man took it, shaking it firmly. Sam noticed how smooth the guy’s hands were.
“Chase,” he smiled wider still, like he couldn’t believe Sam was actually having a conversation with him.
“So are you, uh, here with anyone?” Sam wasn’t used to making small talk anymore. The only people he talked to were Dean or law enforcement - or witnesses to supernatural phenomena.
“A few friends,” Chase nodded behind him, but not with enough direction for Sam to actually tell which table of people he might have been talking about.
“Do you, um,” Sam let out a sharp, amused exhale, not really believing he was actually doing this. “D’ya want to have a drink?”
Chase smiled brightly. “Yeah, I’d love that,” he nodded, and the pair started towards the bar. “Then maybe you’ll be so kind as to show me just how you play that game over there?”
Sam grinned, this guy was pulling out a classic, but it was a good one.
“You want me to teach you how to play pool?” he smirked and moved closer behind Chase, bracing his hands on the bar on either side of him, and ducked down to speak against his ear. “I should warn you, I’m a pretty hands on teacher.” Sam felt Chase grin, even though he couldn’t see his face.
“I think I’m counting on it. I might need a lot of hand holding,” Chase laughed at his own joke, probably realising how lame it was, but Sam thought it was cute.
While Chase ordered drinks, Sam glanced over his shoulder across the bar and caught Dean looking right at them. Sam blushed under his brother’s intense gaze, a little embarrassed that Dean had been watching him come onto this guy so strongly. But how was that different to any time Sam had to watch Dean flirt his way through every available pair of boobs in these joints? He decided it wasn’t; he didn’t have anything to be ashamed of. Sam gave Chase a once over from behind, eyes lingering on his ass. Yeah, definitely not ashamed of this, Sam resolved. He flicked his eyes back up to meet Dean’s again and gave him a bold wink.
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Dean’s face was blank, but his gaze wavered between shock and dread. He’d never seen Sam flirt so blatantly with anyone before. He’d never seen Sam flirt with a guy before either, but he guessed he should have expected that to happen eventually. It hadn’t really hit him before now what Sam being bi really meant. It wasn’t just that he was happy to have a threesome that involved two guys instead of two girls, it meant that sometimes he would want to sleep with guys, just because.
The pride Dean usually felt when Sam successfully picked up a chick wasn’t making an appearance right now, though. This was different. Dean reluctantly realised that the difference here was jealousy. He looked at the guy Sam was pressed up against and took in the spiky hair, the henley pulled across decently toned muscles, the black leather cord he wore as a necklace. He was about Dean’s height judging where he stood against Sam. Angry voices inside him shouted at Dean to break it up, stop Sammy from doing this, protect him, though from what, the voices didn’t care to elaborate. Hopeful voices inside tried to soothe his anger. Telling him that maybe Sam wasn’t with him now, but the guy he was with looked just a little like Dean… maybe… and what if that meant that Sam was drawn to him for that reason?
Dean shut down that internal dialogue with a grimace, and ordered another shot. He wasn’t gonna stay here and watch Sam hit on some guy without getting drunk.
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Sam and Chase were two drinks in and back by the pool table, and Sam was having more fun than he could remember having in a long time. Watching Chase bend over the table, ass pressing tight against his jeans, and knowing that he was doing it so Sam could look… it was exhilarating. Even the vague prickling on the back of his neck every time Dean looked over at them gravely didn’t spoil Sam’s mood. He knew his brother was just being an overprotective ass.
Chase shot him a coy smile over his shoulder, still bent over trying to corral all the balls into their frame. Sam grinned back freely, eyes glinting with want that he knew Chase could see.
“You gonna show me how to hold this stick?”
“I’m gonna show you so much more than that,” Sam promised. He pressed against him and threaded his arms through the smaller man’s, slotting their hips and their hands together. “You want to hold it firmly, but not too tight. Just give it a little squeeze.”
Chase burst out laughing, shaking Sam off his body. Sam stood back, confused and a little offended at the reaction. Chase’s eyes glinted under the fluorescent light hanging above them.
“I’m sorry man,” he stifled another laugh and tried again. “Sorry, I just, I couldn’t not think about the innuendo there.” Sam smirked and moved back to Chase, bending him back over and leaning into him heavily.
“That was sorta the point man,” Sam breathed in his ear. “Now, put your hands back on that long piece of wood and do as you’re told.”
Sam realised then that he had been repressing this part of himself for far too long. Or at least his dick thought so, because it was paying quite a bit more attention than it usually did in public.
He was never shy about wanting to be the one in control in the bedroom, but with girls, he never really knew how they would take it. He always worried about hurting them if he was being too rough. With guys it felt a little different, he felt a little freer, like he didn’t have to be scared of throwing them around as much. And he’d had enough to drink that his filter wasn’t inclined to hold him back anymore. The shiver that had run through Chase at Sam’s words only solidified Sam’s resolve to take this guy home and absolutely wreck him.
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Dean thought he was gonna be sick. Most people would think that was down to the amount of alcohol he’d just downed in such a short span of time - switching to tequila had either been a very good or a very bad decision on Dean’s part - but in actuality, he was still on the good side of drunk. The thing churning his stomach and pulling him apart from the inside was what he was watching his baby brother do to that twink pressed against the pool table across the bar.
Jesus, they were in public and Sam was practically dry humping the dude. At least respectable people would go to a club and hide behind dancing as an excuse. But there was his brother, his little kid brother, practically fucking some stranger right in the middle of the room. What the fuck does he think he’s doing?
Dean had never seen Sam so blatantly sexual before. Well no - that was a lie - he had seen him that way once, when he’d been pounding into Dany so hard he shook the bed, and looked right at Dean when he’d broken down inside her, staring right into his eyes as he came undone. But the way Sam was looking at him had Dean believing that, maybe, Sam wasn't thinking about Dany at all.
Dean wanted to pretend that he was only offended by the sight before him because it was indecent - not cool, bro - but if the guy below Sam had been him, he wouldn’t have given two fucks how decent they looked, so long as Sam showed everyone watching that it was them who belonged together. That Sam belonged to him, inside him. His.
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Chase was a horrible pool player. But that might have more to do with the fact that Sam was grinding a semi against his ass every time he helped him line up a shot. Poor guy had to be at least a little distracted. After two games of utter domination from Sam, he took pity on his playmate and graciously bought him a drink to mellow the loss.
Locking eyes over the wet edged shot glasses, Sam tipped his back and swallowed, long and deep. Sam watched as Chase’s eyes traced his throat and down into the v-neck of the t-shirt he’d revealed when he unbuttoned his flannel during the second game. His eyes settled there for a moment, and Sam wondered how long he would linger there before he caught himself. His breathing quickened slightly - bringing his chest up and down with it, and Chase continued to stare. The attention only aroused Sam more. But it was over when Chase blinked harshly, and brought his eyes back to Sam’s, looking a little startled.
“What?” he said stupidly, fingers slipping on his glass, still full and hanging in front of his lips.
“Do you want to get out of here?” Sam enunciated, a knowing smirk back on his lips.
“Yeah,” Chase nodded and downed his own drink, licking his lips to catch the drop of alcohol that had spilled over. Sam’s eyes locked on his tongue and followed it back inside Chase’s mouth. Their lips met briefly, Sam pulling back almost immediately to check he hadn’t misjudged things - to check he was actually about to follow through on going home with this guy.
Chase’s face was hot, colour staining his already sun-kissed skin, eyes wide like he was staring into the sun. Sam jerked his chin towards the door, brows raised, and Chase nodded and leant in close so Sam could hear him better. “I’m just gonna grab my things, meet you outside?”
“Yeah,” Sam nodded and squeezed Chase’s arm in reassurance. “I’m just going to let my brother know where I’m headed.” Sam jerked his head to where he had clocked Dean hunched in a booth nursing a hefty glass of whiskey.
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“Hey,” Sam slid into the seat across from Dean, slapping a rhythm against the table as he sat down.
“Someone’s chipper,” Dean grunted sourly, taking a swig of his drink.
“Someone’s bummed out.”
Sam’s sass tugged at the corner’s of Dean’s lips. but he didn’t let it get an actual smile out of him.
“Sorry the girls here weren’t exactly ‘your scene’,” Sam did look a little apologetic, but he couldn’t wipe the smug excitement off his stupid face.
“Yeah, well,” Dean grunted again, and knocked back more of the burning liquid, “about time you got laid, was beginning to think you’d accidentally pulled it off from jerking too much.”
“Ew, dude, gross,” Sam grimaced. “How would you know how much I jerk off, anyways?”
“We live in each other’s asses, Sam,” Dean excused, not caring to mention the fact that he knows Sam’s jerked off in the shower every night since he’d picked him up from Stanford, and he’s spent the last month joining in from the other side of the door. Choking down the jealousy and shame that came with it, Dean pushed Sam out of the booth with his foot. “Now go on and fuck your little boy toy, he’s over there waiting for you.”
Sure enough, when Sam checked over his shoulder, he saw Chase waiting anxiously by the door.
“You gonna be alright, man? You got a motel key?”
“Fuck off,” Dean grumbled, and watched sullenly as Sam made his way through the crowds of people to the door, slipping out behind his company for the evening. Dean knocked back the rest of his glass and stood, stretching the stiffness out of his joints. He didn’t want to stay here, but he didn’t have anywhere else to go besides the motel room. Remembering they had passed a convenience store on their walk here, Dean figured drinking alone was less embarrassing if he was actually alone while he was doing it, and made up his mind.
-
Arriving back at their room with a bottle of Jack he’d already cracked into, Dean crashed onto his bed and stared at the ceiling. What the hell was he doing? Sitting in the dark, drinking himself to sleep because his baby brother went home with someone else. Pathetic. Pining over Sam had become Dean’s new favourite pastime without him even realising it, and most certainly without his permission.
Dropping his hand over the side of his bed and groping for his duffle, Dean managed to dig his hand into the side pocket hiding the bracelets that he’d pushed out of sight nearly two months ago. Curling his fingers around the smooth-worn wooden beads, he dragged them out, clutching them hard until he felt his nails cutting into his palm.
More Jack; these relics in his hand from a time when he used to be a good big brother, one Sam could actually admire and love, and Dean decided he was done. If he was gonna add this to the list of everything else that was fucked up in his life, then he was gonna goddamn lean into it. He knew Sam had noticed that he wasn’t wearing them anymore, and the thought that Sam might think Dean was mad at him, or didn’t love him with literally everything he had was unacceptable now.
He dropped the beads on the comforter and the bottle on the nightstand, and rose to pull off his jeans. If Sam was getting off tonight there was no reason he shouldn't. But at the thought of Sam, Dean couldn’t stop himself thinking about the guy he’d gone home with, who he’d had bent over the pool table in front of the whole damn bar. It was too easy to picture what Sam was doing to him now. Dean settled back against the lumpy pillows and squeezed himself over his boxers, letting himself sink into the images flashing through his mind.
Sam pressing that bastard up against the door. Sam threading his fingers through the short, dark blonde hair and pulling - the very thought draws a gasp from Dean, wishing it was him Sam was doing those things to, pressing those kisses to, scraping his teeth against and leaving marks on.
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Inside Chase’s apartment, Sam didn’t waste any time. He had him pressed against the door with his wrists pinned over his head in a heartbeat. His kiss started teasing and light. He nipped at Chase’s lips, and the tip of his tongue that had tried in vain to connect to Sam’s. He dragged his teeth across the five o’clock shadow that dusted Chase’s jaw and down, locking on the hollow up his throat and pulling a heavy sign from his partner.
Sam kissed his way back to Chase’s lips and devoured him this time. Their tongues slid together but there was no fight for dominance, no illusion as to how this night was going. Sam was in charge, and that was just where they both wanted him.
Lurching backwards, Sam pulled Chase along with him, and they stumbled blindly around the entryway and managed to fall through the door to the bedroom - Chase’s doing. Sam’s jacket and shoes were discarded on the floor, Chase’s henley tossed onto the scattered laundry piled at the bottom of his bed. The sight made Sam smirk, one more confirmation that he went home with a guy tonight.
Sam sat on the bed and dragged Chase on top of him, grabbing his neck and forcing their mouths back together. At a loud groan from Chase, Sam opened his eyes and stared into the blue-grass eyes he remembered admiring in the bar, but in this dim light they looked darker, greener, and suddenly, Sam wasn’t looking at Chase anymore.
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Dean tried to picture something, anything, other than Sam but he couldn’t. He saw Sam rolling himself on top of that guy and dragging himself down - would they be on the couch, or a bed? - down to the fly on his irritatingly well-fitted jeans and popping the button open with a grin. He saw him pulling the denim down and off, saw him mouthing hungrily over the cotton-covered bulge he found himself faced with, tonguing along the head and leaving a dark stain behind.
Dean groaned and pulled himself free from his boxers, needing it faster, tighter, meaner.
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Sam swallowed Chase down eagerly. He didn’t even have the patience to pull his boxers all the way off, and he twisted the fabric in his hands, pulled it tight. It had been so long since he’d had a cock in his mouth he nearly gagged himself in his excitement to suck down every last inch. Chase whimpered above him, lost in the heat of Sam’s throat. Sam could tell he was trying so hard not to lose it already, so he eased up a little. He didn’t want to see Chase cum until he had his cock inside him.
Granting Chase a brief moment of reprieve, Sam slid further down until his tongue was thrusting in and out of his ass. Chase tried to squirm away but Sam held him down, bracing his arm across the slim hips to keep his prey in place. Chase managed to fish the lube and a condom out of his nightstand and throw them vaguely in Sam’s direction without Sam needing to stop his tongue’s assault. Sam knew he was rushing, but by the time he pushed inside of Chase’s not-prepped-enough hole neither of them cared.
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Dean could feel it, hovering out of reach. He wanted it so badly but he couldn’t get there, and the frustration was starting to outweigh the desperation. The volume of alcohol couldn’t have been helping things either, but logic wasn’t what Dean was interested in right now. He needed something else, something more. Grasping in his mind for the images of Sam to come back, Dean’s fingers clawed against the bedspread, tugging on his cock relentlessly. Then his fingers nudged something - Sam’s bracelets.
Without thinking too hard, Dean clutched them in his fist, bringing both hands to wrap around himself and pressing the small, cool beads against his heated flesh. He still wanted more, needed something to cut through this haze of want and really make him feel. He wrapped the worn strings around the base of his dick, cinching tightly, and squeezing a whimper of pain through his lips. But that pain was just the spark he needed.
The urgency he’d been chasing before came rushing back, and visions of Sam above him, touching him, choking him, calling him a desperate, pathetic little cockslut, beat against the inside of his eyelids, and he was cumming harder than he could ever remember. He felt a white heat burning through every artery, vein, capillary in his goddamn body, and it brought him to an edge he never knew existed. It was agonising, and perfect.
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Sam fucked his hips into Chase’s faster and faster. Their teeth met more often than their tongues as they kissed frantically, both reaching the ends of their tethers. Chase grabbed himself and pulled, beating himself faster and faster until he spilled into the sweat pooling between their bodies, groaning Sam’s name. Sam thrust harder and harder and froze, crammed so deep inside he barely fit, and then he was cumming; spilling his seed into Chase, and spilling Dean’s name from his lips.
*
Tags: Tag: @vulgar-library @jackandthesoulmates @negans-lucille-tblr @fandomfic-galore @petitgateau911 @whoreforackles @schaefchenherde​ @hawkerz12​ @dylansbabygirl24​ @mineshinamary​ @popsensationnicole23​ @spn-problems​ @donthateme454​ @doyouknowsamw​ @peridottea91​ @delightfulbakeryaliendeputy​ @fictionallemons​ @natastic​ @Marvelfansworld @half-closeted-bi-girl​ @j-ai-adore-dean​ @kiss-my-peachy-arse​ @tftumblin​ @alice101macwil​ @disneysloot​ @caitlinvd​ @crashlyrose​ @miufel​ @itsthedoctah10​ @leftlokiofpuppy​ @devilsbbyy​ @akshi8278​ @deandreamernp​@lyarr24​ @lovealways-j​ @kickingitwithkirk​ @delightfullykrispypeach​ 
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lumilasi · 2 years
Note
I'm kind of curious what that alternate idea for an ongoing story is?
Ah, in regards to my table flip post I presume! Well it's bit of a long explanation (and I'll have to talk about the fic it could've been for. No major spoilers though!)
So the idea was for Shadowed Pages, where the starting situation would've been massively different to what it is right now, to the point of adjusting AFO's story and character more from canon than what the fic currently does/will do. Basically it would've been more FS Hisashi-ish.
(To put it short, his relationship with his brother wouldn't have been abusive, just dysfunctional due to poor communication skills. This is kind of how I have approached all the versions of AFO that are more protagonists in a fic than the antagonist like in canon. Canon AFO is great for his role as a villain in the official story, but doesn't work as a protagonist for fic AU's in my eyes lmao)
This past dynamic would've changed how I approached AFO and Tomura's relationship massively, let me explain;
The current situation for SP is this:
Tomura was picked up by AFO like in canon, only at this time they were already working with the MLA. AFO again tried to possess Tomura eventually, but unknowingly to him, when he placed his quirk into the boy, he also put something else there unknowingly; something that protected Tomura throughout the years from his worse influence and eventually helped him to stop the possession and kill his mentor. The teen shaped ghost that follows him around. (what he is exactly will get explained later in the fic)
Tomura lives with Kurogiri now, hiding in plain sight in an old library his Sensei secretly owned, with a fragment of AFO living within him as that teen ghost. The evil one is still there too however, as well as....something else.
Something that is eventually very vital for the endgame of the story, and explains a lot of things about why AFO is the way he is in this particular AU, why Izuku exists, and why AFO self-sabotaged himself to begin with when it came to his plan with Tenko.
Now, let's get to the actual point of your question lmao, sorry it took so long, I just felt I need to give some context first;
In this alternate take, AFO would've actually quit his villain bullshit, either during Nana's tenure, or after the first fight with Toshinori (without turning into a potatohead, maybe just some scarring) because he was so tired of it all (again, goes back to his core nature and backstory being different from canon in this AU idea; he's not a narcissistic opportunist, but someone who let his power get into his head, and became self destructive and dangerous due to guilt) and just lives like a normal person, hiding from any heroes and law enforcement in general. He probably wouldn't work any normal jobs or anything, he'd be a recluse so mostly just use his quirk to get what's needed. (While cashier AFO is a funny idea, I find it too crackish, and my second-hand embarrassment is too strong to write cracky stuff like that lmao)
He does find little Tenko on the street again after what happens with his family and picks him up, but instead of being a manipulative abusive asshole, he just ends up being a proper dad as he should've been. To the point that when some other villains end up kidnapping Tenko alongside some other kids, he actually comes out of hiding and shows he's alive to All Might (and maybe Nana if she's alive) just to basically kick them out of the way to save his boy lmao
As for the DFO angle, IDK how I'd do it in this version; it'd be pretty fun though, especially if Toshinori would be Inko's friend, and he'd be curious to meet this new person/single dad she's met and is very fond of, but for some reason he's never present or able to greet him...? (Cue afo/Hisashi internally freaking out when he finds out All Might is Inko's friend. No he does NOT want to meet him, no thank you) Don't even get me started on when he finds out Inko is pregnant, that's even worse; the kid could inherit a massively corrupting quirk like his, or be quirkless, or just be in danger because of the ties with him..... (cue internal mumbling like Izuku, just not spoken out loud as he's better at hiding it) Also he'd probs end up sort of parenting all of Tenko's friends too, who Tenko would naturally attract as he's a LOV magnet hehe. (probs some would be alongside the kidnapped kids I mentioned earlier)
He would also suffer from memory loss somewhat, tho not as much as what FS Hisashi had at the start, and it'd last longer. Basically he'd have forgotten the thing I mentioned earlier in the description for SP; why he did the things he did. Either because of the mental mess and trauma from the past decades, or the fight with either Nana or All Might damaging his brain. He'd eventually connect the dots again and it would lead to the same/similar endgame I have planned for SP currently.
So yeah. I'm still mad at myself for not thinking of this sooner. Sure, the current setting for SP is fine, but I really like this idea, and feel like I can't use it because I don't have any ideas for an alternate ending that'd differ enough from what SP has planned :T
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gumnut-logic · 3 years
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Callisto (Part Seven - Investigation)
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Prologue 1. Incident - Bit 1 | Bit 2 2. Fallout - Bit 1 | Bit 2 | Bit 3 3. Voyage - Bit 1 | Bit 2 | Bit 3 4. Arrival - Bit 1 | Bit 2 5. Orientation 6. Rescue Site 7. Investigation
Here we are again with the next three thousand odd words of this fic.
Many thanks as always to @vegetacide​ @tsarinatorment​ @scribbles97​ @janetm74​ and my wonderful science officer @onereyofstarlight​ (who spent yet more time tackling my odd questions in the last week :D). You guys are amazing and I can’t thank you enough for all your amazing readthroughs and support.
You guys totally spoilt me last week so I hope this week delivers some entertainment. ::hugs you all so much:: Thank you so much for your amazing support.
Warnings: minor whump, far too much indulgence in scenery on my part because I’m having too much fun.
I hope you enjoy this.
-o-o-o-
Alan was sent back with Gordon and one of the dragonflies, while Virgil and Scott scouted back along the tunnel for a high enough point that either a molepod or Thunderbird Three could drill down deep enough to give them easy access for Thunderbird Four.
They found it in one of the larger caverns about a kilometre back from the Crystal Cave as they had come to call it.
Having seen so much crystal in one spot, Virgil now found himself spotting more and more of it along the tunnels. On first glance he had assumed most of the sparkles in the walls were patches of ice – there was certainly enough of the stuff around to cater to the concept. But on closer examination, there were crystals of all sizes and colours dotted along their return path.
In the dry cavern there were even more. Not anywhere near as many as in the crystal cave, but enough that Virgil pulled over, climbed out and collected a couple of specimens for later examination. John definitely wanted in on that analysis. He was still hunting for the source of the interference and was at this point reaching for every straw he could grab.
But first they had lives to save.
The roof of the Dry Cavern, as it was dubbed for convenience’s sake, had a number of large crystalline formations and there was a plea from the Base’s scientific staff to avoid as much damage as possible.
As if Virgil needed that reminder. He wasn’t one for blatant destruction of anything, but in this case as he planted the homing beacon for Three, he realised they were going to lose at least one beautiful structure in the process. So, it was with some sadness, he flipped the dragonfly and attached it to the rock ceiling of Dry Cavern and attempted to uproot a crystal tree as tall and as wide as himself to take back to the base.
With the application of a laser cutter, it came away surprisingly easily and with minimal damage. The dragonfly’s two front claws held it as delicately as they could. Carefully flipping the pod back upright, Virgil lowered it down to land and clambered out to secure the crystal.
Halfway out of the pod his vision doubled and he slipped.
Callisto’s gravity was almost nothing in comparison to Earth’s but the laws of physics still held strong and without atmospheric density to slow him down in any way, his momentum threw him at the rocky floor with enough force to cause him to bounce with a painful squawk. Previously obtained bruises complained and his head throbbed enough to turn his stomach over.
He ended up on the ground, on his side, doing his best not to puke all over the inside of his helmet, his only thought being how bad things would be if he failed.
“Virgil!” Scott was suddenly beside him, hand on his arm and the ever so familiar worry in his eyes.
Virgil swallowed and attempted to keep his stomach under control while his head screamed at him.
God.
But as before, it dissipated suddenly and Virgil was left panting and wondering what the hell was going on.
What the hell had the T- Drive done to him?
“Talk to me, Virgil. What happened?”
“Was dizzy for a second. Sorry.” He waved Scott’s hand away and sat up slowly. Everything stayed stable and sane.
God, he was tired. “I’m good. Just need some rack time.”
Scott glared at him. “I’ve seen you tired. You’ve never fallen off a pod before.”
“It’s the gravity, or the lack of it. It’s throwing me off.” He pushed himself to his feet.
But he knew what was coming next.
“I’m flying. Get in the back.”
“Scott-“
“Now.”
Virgil growled at him. “I’m going to secure the crystals first. We need to get these back to base in one piece.” And he did, Scott at his elbow the entire time. The man knew how to hover.
Once that was complete, Scott marched him to the backseat and made sure he climbed in safely…like he was a little kid or something.
Damnit.
But the moment he let himself relax, his whole body made it very clear that rest was a good thing. Scott’s flying skills kept the dragonfly consistently level and despite himself, Virgil dozed in and out a good percentage of the way back to base.
Despite the headache.
Of course, all of it resulted in a blowout with both Scott and his father.
“I’m fine!”
“You fell!”
“I slipped. It happens you know. I’ve rested. I’m fine. Now can we get moving? I need to be out there to assist with Four.”
Scott opened his mouth to no doubt confine him to the base with their father and Uncle Lee.
“Virgil, you will undergo an examination by the Base medics before you do anything.” Dad’s voice held that strength of command that Scott had so inherited.
He opened his mouth to rebut.
“Now, Virgil, or I will send Lee out in your stead. You don’t mess around out here. You know that.”
Virgil flicked his glance to the engineer his father had relied on for years, who had actually worked with International Rescue early on.
Goddamnit!
“Fine! But there is nothing wrong with me.”
“Then prove it.” Scott was glaring at him, blue eyes on fire and standing strong beside their father.
Well, at least they were working together, even if it was a combined front against him.
Three had already left, so they had to rely on a Base medic. Fortunately, she agreed with Virgil. Tension headache, the voyage out there and lack of sleep was all they could come up with and since he had snoozed in the pod and his skill set was seriously needed, Scott grudgingly gave him clearance.
Virgil so did not have time for this.
-o-o-o-
Alan slipped into Three’s pilot seat with a sigh. There was something about his ‘bird that was just comforting. Familiarity, probably, but also the knowledge that he had the power to get home under his very fingertips. Pods were great and all, but Alan preferred the power of ion engines and the strength of his ‘bird’s hull.
Gordon in the co-pilot’s seat wasn’t the norm, however.
“Okay, let’s get this ‘bird off the ground.”
Alan glared at him, but poked his comms. “Callisto Base, requesting departure for local foray as filed.”
“Thunderbird Three, you have clearance. Safe journey.”
Journey? He wouldn’t call it a journey. More a nick out the back door to grab takeout, if anything.
Great, now he was hungry for pizza and the nearest pizza joint was a bazillion miles away.
So gonna have a pizza night when they got home.
“FAB, Callisto Base.”
The airlock doors above began their ponderous opening sequence like something directly out of an old sci-fi flick. All that was missing was the cinematic music.
Firing Three’s engines was like breathing again after being stifled for a long time. She lifted, rising slowly into the airlock, her length proof that everything the Base owned was smaller. He only had a handful of metres to play with at either end and he was pretty sure he was scorching their inner door.
Nonetheless, they waited and the outer doors slid open revealing Jupiter once again in all her glory.
Alan eased her out slowly making sure she was fully in the clear before tilting her towards the north and, with a twitch of a thruster, throwing her across the jagged landscape.
The moon surface was craters on craters on craters. The Asgard formation rippled outwards in all directions creating rings of hills, stark greys and silvers against the deep of the black sky. Burr Crater was a splash of bright reflected sunlight glaring enough for the filters on the windows to react and protect their eyesight.
Alan brought up the holoprojection showing exactly where Virgil wanted him to drill.
Another flick of a wrist and Three pivoted on her nose, extended her arms, and settled gently onto the surface of the moon.
“Thunderbird One, Thunderbird Three is in position.”
Comms crackled and Alan frowned.
“That doesn’t sound good.”
State the obvious, Gordon. “Thunderbird One, do you read?”
“We hear you, Thunderbird Three. Dragonfly Pod Two en route to rendezvous.” Scott’s voice cut out and Virgil’s took over. “Gordon, deploy Thunderbird Four. Crane her to the surface. Alan we will need to assemble a large gauge molepod complete with vacuum extraction, as we discussed. We’re about fifteen minutes out.”
“FAB, Dragonfly Two.” The line cut out and Alan turned to his co-pilot. “Okay, Gords, your turn.”
His brother’s face split into a grin. “See you in the sky.”
Alan groaned. “Never gonna hear the end of this, am I?”
“Nope, no time soon. Thunderbird Four is going to fly. No more being dragged around by her sisters. Gonna get her some VTOL.”
Alan clambered out of his seat and half floated, half fell to the back of the cabin. Partial gravity was always odd. “Hoverjets, Gords.”
“Tomayto, tomato, squirt. My ‘bird is gonna fly.”
“In micro-gravity.”
“I’m taking what I can get.”
Alan rolled his eyes. Insufferable.
What followed was Three craning out Four through the cargo bay doors and gently lowering her to the icy surface of the moon.
This time, instead of sleds, Brains had attached hoverjets to the body of Gordon’s submarine. Personally, Alan thought she looked like she had a really bad case of acne, her usually smooth lines interrupted by pustules that spat blue ‘fire’.
Gordon apparently couldn’t stop grinning.
Of course, that all changed once Scott and Virgil arrived on scene. Virgil was unusually curt and Scott was hovering just enough to alert Alan that something wasn’t right.
A quick check with John revealed that Virgil wasn’t feeling well and that Scott wanted him off the mission, but Virgil refused.
That just set Alan off. It was always worrisome when an older brother wasn’t right, and considering all his brothers were older, it happened far more often than Alan liked.
So it was with worried eyes that Alan watched Virgil and Scott deploy the molepod.
The plan was for Three to dig down as far as she could - which was a decent distance, if Alan could say so himself, and then lower the extra-large molepod into the hole so Virgil could complete the tunnel to break through into the cave network below.
They were far enough away from the Crystal Cave, as it was now called, to hopefully leave it unaffected by all these excavations.
Gordon was to follow them in Hoversub Number Four - apparently his fish brother was still working on the new name - navigate to the Cave and revert to Four’s original purpose of being a submarine.
Three’s drill was an oddity for a space craft, but an oddity that had saved Alan’s bacon so many times.
The thought immediately prompted hunger pangs. Bacon.
Maybe he should shove a snack down his throat.
“Alan, start drilling.” Virgil’s sharp voice on comms snapped him out of it.
If Three deployed her drill rather abruptly at that, Alan felt he wasn’t to blame.
Fortunately, she performed with her usual ease and brilliance, creating a massive hole in the side of the moon and a cloud of debris to match, rock and ice thrown up in glittering haze.
God, space was beautiful sometimes.
Once Three had gone as deep as she could, Alan shifted her to one side and acted as a crane to lower Virgil and Scott in the molepod down into the newly created tunnel.
A suspended moment and the billowing dust resumed.
“Hey, Gords, is Virgil okay?” He couldn’t help it. He was worried.
“He’s okay, Allie. Just some leftovers from the ride out here.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Don’t mention it. I don’t want to think about it.”
“Sorry.” It was raining glitter in slow motion.
“How you didn’t notice, I have no idea.”
Gordon was in Four and Alan in Three, but Alan shrugged anyway. “Dunno?” But he was distracted by the holographic image of his two eldest brothers gnawing through rock far below. Almost there. Thank goodness, Three’s grapple was almost at its full extent.
“Thunderbird Three, get ready to reel us in.” Scott’s voice was tight.
Far below the mole broke through into the cavern and began to fall in the ponderous gravity. Alan yanked a lever and pulled the cable tight, catching the pod in a pendulous dangle. “Gotcha.”
“Hold it, Thunderbird Three.” Virgil’s voice was even tighter than Scott’s and Alan wondered if the pod swinging was messing with him. A moment. “Okay, retract slightly.”
Alan did so and the pendulum slowed and eventually his brother gave the go ahead to fully haul them out of that hole.
-o-o-o-
Virgil was beginning to wonder if there was something seriously wrong with him. Digging the hole had been simple, but the moment they burst through into the cavern, his stomach tried to invert itself. It had taken everything he had to keep his insides on the inside.
But then it disappeared again! Leaving the goddamned headache that just refused to go away and was currently pounding through his head to the tune of his heartbeat.
Maybe Scott was right. Maybe there was something seriously wrong.
But he had a job to do.
Thunderbird Four was literally bouncing on the spot by the time the Mole resurfaced dangling from Three’s grapple. Virgil had piloted the pod simply because it was his speciality. Scott had accompanied him because he was worried, but he let him drive.
Such was not the case with the Dragonfly. Virgil was clearly demoted via a pair of determined eyes and exiled to the backseat.
Fine.
It gave him a chance to examine the sensor readings of the rock they had burrowed through on the way down. It was a thoroughly fascinating combination of ice and minerals, silicon in particular.
Thunderbird Four lifted smoothly off the glistening moon surface and with a very unprofessional ‘Yahoo’ slid into the entrance of their new tunnel and disappeared.
Scott was only a second behind.
Four bounced like a rubber ball off the walls, darting around the corners so nimble, Scott had to ask their fish brother to damn well slow down.
Which was just as well, because before they knew it, both Four and the Dragonfly emerged into the cavern, Four in ponderous freefall until the hoverjets could catch on the floor.
“That was awesome! Can I keep the jets, Virg? Please?” An Olympic gold medal, a WASP career and vast experience as an IR operative, and Gordon was still a kid at the candy store begging for his favourite lolly.
“Not important right now, Thunderbird Four.” Commander Tracy’s tone was sharp.
“Just asking!” But below them the bright yellow submarine had obviously latched onto the comms beacon and was moving towards the tunnel leading to the Crystal Cave.
Scott followed as closely as practical and it wasn’t long before both Four and the Dragonfly were sitting on the beach staring at the lake.
Scott and Virgil climbed out of the pod, its lights streaking twin beams across the water and lighting up the crystal walls and glass lake. Gordon hovered at the edge.
“You okay, Thunderbird Four?” Virgil was frowning.
“Pretty fine and dandy, if I may say so myself. Gonna go hover myself out into the depths I think.” His tone while flippant, was distracted. “Scans are reading a hell of a lot of that quartz and I’d rather not test Four’s hull unless I absolutely have to.” There was a grunt. “As it is, that water isn’t just water. I’m going to be cleaning my girl for week after this. It’s mineral soup.”
“Is it a concern? Did you want to abort?” Scott was predictably concerned.
“No, no. She can handle it. I may just need to rope a bro or two into maintenance.” There was a snort that no doubt would be accompanying a grin.
Virg was tired and there were people needing rescue. “Move your ass, Gordon.”
That earned him another worried set of blue eyes. But Virgil was over it and just needed to get this job done.
“FAB, Thunderbird Two.” Four started moving forward, her jets rippling the glass of the water.
Gordon hovered a fair distance out into the middle of the lake before gradually shutting down the hoverjets, letting the sub dip below the surface.
A single breath and she was gone, only circles on circles of steadily spreading ripples remained.
It was damned eerie.
Scott looked like he wanted to climb into the water after their brother.
“Wow, guys, it is amazing down here.” Typical Gordon.
Virgil would have loved to rub his temples.
“Sending visuals to Five. Johnny, you receiving?”
“Affirmative, Thunderbird Four, though I am encountering some interference. Eos, can you clear that up?”
“Guys, I’m getting some temperature variances down here.”
Scott shifted where he stood, his space suit flexing over taught muscles. “Clarify, Thunderbird Four.”
“It’s getting hotter. Not by much, but a definite increase in temperature as I go deeper.” A thoughtful mutter. “This is deeper than it appears, Scott. Readings are fluctuating. What was a hundred metres is now closer to six hundred. Damn, there’s another temperature spike!”
“Thunderbird Four, interference is increasing.” John’s voice crackled as if for emphasis. “We can’t clear it.”
Scott flicked on his wrist display, the two lifesigns pulsing under the icon of Thunderbird Four. “Do you see anything, Gordon? Any sign of what we are facing?”
Gordon muttered something that was drenched in static. “Crystal…temp..ture…rising…” The signal ended in a hiss of static that hurt Virgil’s ears.
Scott’s voice was decision sharp. “Thunderbird Four, abort mission. Return to shore.”
“Sc-“ But the signal cut out completely.
Shit!
The rock under Virgil’s feet trembled. What the-?
Ripples vibrated across the lake.
“Gordon, do you read?!”
“Thunderbird One!” John’s voice had an edge of alarm. “Registering seismic movement in your vicinity!”
“Gordon!”
“Guys! Get out of there! Now!”
“Gordon!”
Virgil grabbed Scott as a shadow grew out of the darkness and into the twin beams of light.
Oh, hell!
“Scott! Move!”
The lake had swelled into a wave, a crest rushing at the shore they were standing on.
Virgil grabbed his brother, turned and ran for the pod.
His fingertips brushed cahelium as the wave hit. Virgil was lifted off his feet, Scott was torn from his grip and he was tumbling.
A sharp pain.
And…
Nothing.
-o-o-o-
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