#I just keep rediscovering old songs through them

[youchangedmedestiel]

Here's an example about how Destiel altered my hearing like it did with my vision of the world:

I listened to the song "True Colors" this morning on my way to work.

It's a song that I know from when I took singing classes 12 years ago, I learned the lyrics to sing them, and it's also a song that I rediscovered while watching Glee.

But. BUT. Now it's a Destiel song to me. And there's no going back from that.

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 03/10/2023

Piranha Plantsom

Season 6 Featured on: SiIvaGunner's Highest Quality Rips: Volume DQ

Ripped by Myeauxyoozi

Just last month, when covering Super Mario 64 Submarine Ending, I first discussed just how ridiculously good SiIvaGunner's ripping team has gotten at using Super Mario 64's instrumentation for rips. Hell, its far from the only rip of its kind I've covered here on the blog - Earth, Wind & Bombs, Harder To Breathe 64, slideless, Blessing the Dire, Dire Rains - and today's rip likely won't be the last of its ilk either. One could argue I feature these rips a bit *too* frequently, but...can you blame me? Super Mario 64 music is both essential to SiIvaGunner's legacy, and just exceptionally fun-sounding in its own right no matter what its arranged to. It feels like the clearest comfort-zone type of game to rip from, where almost anything you do with it is bound to sound somewhat authentic.

But I was aware I couldn't just feature any old Super Mario 64 arrangement once more on the blog - I had to find something to truly make this one stick. And what's something else I've harped on about on the blog almost as much as Mario? That's right - rips with "escalating" jokes, ones that keep building on themselves to surprise and delight for a rip's entire runtime. Such is best exemplified with Story of Undertale, one of the channel's best ever rips which arranges the entirety of Lady Gaga's bad romance whilst going through a majority of Undertale's soundtrack - in chronological order of appearance.

You put these two golden aspects together, and you end up with Piranha Plantsom - a full arrangement of Lil Tecca's Ransom in the styles of close to a dozen different songs from the Super Mario 64 soundtrack. While its unfortunately yet another song I primarily know from meme edits, its sparkling percussion sound always reminded me of that of a music box - the same kind of sound used in Piranha Plant's Lullaby in Super Mario 64. Its pretty likely this is what inspired Myeauxyoozi to make the rip to begin with, and the music box sound from the rip's first segment sticks around for many of the others - its a binding thread that keeps the rip cohesive, in a sense. As it moves between all sorts of different tracks from the game, both intense, low-key and zany, that one soothing little music box rhythm keeps them all unified - despite just being three notes, its what sticks with you after every listen.

Its something I discussed already in Plains of Des-passing-to, but I am genuinely so happy to be rediscovering my love for some of these music tracks upon getting to hear them in different contexts. I was never really one who paid much mind to Ransom when I'd hear it in various meme edits - the same way I never cared much for Despacito - but my overexposure to the tracks has undeniably made me somewhat attached to them, which SiIva's rippers so expertly prey on. Piranha Plantsom is more than simply a fantastic arrangement - its a loveletter to the entirety of Super Mario 64, a celebration of a great source track, and a display of Myeauxyoozi's seemingly endless pool of talent.

[anxious-little-faicye]

The FNAF Movie (no spoilers)

So, I just got back from watching the so awaited Five Nights at Freddy's movie, and boy oh boy... I can't even put into words how emotional I am. It was such a wild, crazy, amazing thing to actually be sitting down on a cinema and watch a movie I waited for- what, 8 years? I remember being a child and first learning about the game through ✨youtube✨ (as most of us did let's be honest), and I'm not exaggerating when I say that changed my life forever. I got into gaming and social media because of it, I made some of my best friends because of it (shout out to the gang I used to rp FNAF with on elementary school), I discovered my interests and passions that shaped who I was and who I am, and it all started out because of a silly horror game about haunted animatronics.

And today? Today it wasn't me that went to see that movie. It was the lonely, shy 9 year old girl that got bullied at school because she liked "weird boy stuff" and hanged out with boys because they understood her. It was the 10 year old girl that saw FNAF 3 and 4 come out and discovered she loved to uncover the lore of the franchise and watched about a million theory videos. It was the 11 year old girl that watched lived as two youtubers played Sister Location the day it came out. It was the 15 year old teenager that rediscovered her love for the franchise and found Matpat's channel and started to make her own theories. It was that 16 year old teen that read the first trilogy of FNAF books and from then on took it upon herself to know every single detail about the story, plus finding out about our beloved King Of Five Nights At Freddy's™ and watched his FNAF playlist top to bottom.

It was them.

So I went there- with my crappy Vanny mask I made in 3 days, with the Freddy pushy I've had since I was 11, with my dad' stolen purple shirt, and honestly? I had the time of my life. I was at the edge of my seat the whole movie, screaming and hitting (lovingly /j) my friends every time a very specific detail came out, giggling and kicking my feet once You Know Who appeared or when something that matched the lore perfectly happened. And once me and my friends came out, we were all still yelling and singing our lungs out to FNAF songs. It was more that I could've hoped for.

I won't go into much detail on this post, because I wanna keep it as much spoiler-free as I can, but I'm just gonna say this... This movie was a hug from Scott Cawthon to all fans of the franchise, especially those that have been here from the very beginning. It was his gift. His way of saying 'thank you'. Sure, some plot points were absolute bonkers, and to be fair it lacked a bit of the Spooky Factor and more gore. But overall... I FREAKING LOVED EVERY MOMENT OF IT. I felt the same excitement that when I first discovered the games and started to get into the lore. You can tell that a lot of heart and soul was put into this, and that it wasn't made for a quick cash grab.

Was it worth the wait? Well, that depends on how you wanna see it. Keep in mind that this is planned to be a trilogy, so it has to have some loose plot points in order to set the ground for a second movie- let alone leave stuff out from the games and books. Is wasn't groundbreaking, and no, it doesn't include every single detail about the story. But it was a perfect introduction to the universe, and I think that's all it's set up to be. But I personally thought it was SO worth it and, let's be real, we've waited 8 fucking years for this! Even if it turned out to be a piece of crap (which it isn't), I would still be excited.

Anyway, yeah, was the movie perfect? No. Was a bit weird and confusing at some points? Yes. But it was made for the fans, for those of us that FNAF played a huge role in our lives as kids, and for those of us who just discovered the franchise not so long ago. It was made with love- for the games, for the creator, and for all of us. The fans that have built an amazing community that still stands strong today, a community filled with incredibly talented people like artists, singers, animators, youtubers, theory crafters (you're doing God's Work jsdhsj), cosplayers, editors, writers, the list just goes on and on. It was made with all of us in mind. So as broken and confusing as it might be, is beautiful. What represents is beautiful. And hey, it wouldn't be FNAF if it weren't broken and confusing am I right fellas?

*cries in Theorist*

So I guess my final thoughts are just... Thank you.

Thank you Scott Cawthon for all those years of scares and joy you have given me, thank you for making the game that would shape my life forever, thank you for loving your fans as much as you do, and thank you for not giving up on this movie despite all the things that happened along the way. You might have fucked up big time on some things, but I would be lying to myself if I said I don't appreciate you. Thank you for the best moments of my life.

And thank YOU, Five Nights at Freddy's community for everything you have done these years. If the franchise is what it is today is because it always had an amazing and creative fanbase backing it up and making sure it never died, no matter what sticks and stones came our way. I am so proud to be a part of this, and I hope we'll still be together many years to come.

And thank me, for making it alive and in one piece to the FNAF movie. Damn it took a lot of pain to get here, but I did it... I survived this long. And I can survive even longer.

I hope you can stay alive 5 more nights for this :)

[jessource]

LYRIC SENTENCE STARTERS:  PEACH PRC.    — from the ep manic dream pixie.

KINDA FAMOUS.

“coffee black. receipts told me you like that.” “so i was thinking spring, silver wedding rings.” “and i've picked out all our baby names.” “ok, now obsessed.” “your name on my chest.” “you're kinda famous.” “don't wanna be friends.” “you're not a phase.” “i know you don't know me yet.” “my obsession.” “know you will. better, more than yourself.” “cctv, smile and wave.” “so take me up backstage.” “i know all the names of every song you played.” “one day you'll write about us too.” “i can be your muse when we say 'i do'.” “you're gonna love me if you know me.” “you're gonna love me soon enough.” “i'm your biggest fan.”

PERFECT FOR YOU.

“baby, i'm perfect for you.” “can we go outside for a walk?” “(name) told me you guys were hitting it off.” “she kissed me in the bathroom.” "oh, she said it's just for attention or making her jealous.” “you guessed it.” “i'm not a good friend but she doesn't know that.” “she's gonna hate me, but i want you so bad.” “i want you so bad.” “kiss me, i'm not scared.” “if she's gone, i swear.” “i'm done tryna play it fair.” “i don't care.” “touch me.” “i'm alone now.” “are you on your own?” “she might want you but i do too.” “if you only knew.” “you were in boots and a cowboy hat.” “(name) said you knew my music.” “next week you're playing for (name).” “now i can't betray her.” “even though the gods are crazy.” “even though the stars are blind.” “if you show me real love.” “i'm in your sweater.” “don't wanna upset her.” “but i can do what she can do so much better.”

F U GOODBYE.

“i know it's been a while since you've seen me.” “i heard you're doing well now with your comedy.” “i reminisce nostalgic bits of 90s hits.” “do you miss it, have you thought of it since?” “so if you still think of me i'd love to meet for coffee.” “if i could just see your face.” “i'd look into your eyes and say i hate your jokes and don't think you're funny. “i hope you choke.” “know that you were the worst 45 seconds i had in my life.” “i hope your conscience haunts you at night.” “fuck you and goodbye.” “a couple therapists are now familiar.” “and by the way, i caught up with your ex.” “we shared regrets and most of them were sex.” “so if you miss the old days i'd love to meet face to face.” “i'd sit down at your table and scream if i was able.” “i hate your jokes and don't think you're funny.” “thanks to you gentle hands still resemble demands.” “loving lips on my mouth feel like currency now.” “thanks to you i fear kind.” “now i can't spend the night.”

LOVED YOU BEFORE.

“i bet we were a couple bugs just slithering in the mud.” “happily in love doing bug stuff.” “i think i met you in a store in 1944.” “i probably wrote you letters while you went off to the war.” “nd we could've been two birds, now wouldn't that be so absurd.” “or maybe just lost lovers that keep getting rediscovered.” “think i loved you before back when we were dinosaurs.” “i wanna stay in love in this life and the next one.” “i think we've already met somewhere, another planet.” “i loved you before.” “i loved you in this life and the next one.” “maybe you left me on a trip, two pirates on a ship.” “counting all the gold as the boat tipped.” “could we have been there drinking wine in medieval times?” “laughing in a castle with our glasses intertwined.” “two complementary colours.” “the winter, the spring and summer.” “forever just lost lovers that keep getting rediscovered.” “if i'm the sun, then you're the moon.” “in this life and the nights too.” “if it's over soon then come back through.” “just to say, say i love you.”

FAVOURITE PERSON.

“i try not to compare a teenage love.” “i know that isn't far or close enough.” “but why can't i just shut up?” “i'm always going on about you when I'm drunk.” “and i see your name in every number plate.” "i tried to erase your face but you're there everyday.” “you're my favourite person.” “i have created a version that hurts less.” “i had to tell myself you're toxic.” “better off cause you're the problem.” “really i just couldn't take it being hated by my favourite person.” “my favourite person.” “picture vows at a stand in something blue.” “i try to fall but i can't cause they're not you.” “i hate that i'll never stop.” “we're not still home growing up.” “and i hear your tropes in all my stupid jokes.” “i'm starting to lose all hope of ever letting go.” “and if the world was ending i know i'd be spending my last day pretending we were fine.” “when we both grow old with families of our own.” “well we always go back in my mind.” “i tried to erase your face but you're there anyway.”

DEAR INNER CHILD.

“someone kissed my closing eyelids and i made it mean more that it did. “someone put a plate down a little too loud. “now I still flinch whenever i hear the sound. “i learned my mama was just trying her best. “and not that i owe her forgiveness but i'm sorry to that girl in a dress. “if you wanna wear pink, i'll wear it for you. “if you wanna dance, then i'll strap up my shoes. “if you wanna sing, then consider it sung. “i'm sorry that you had to grow up this young. “forget that love is earned 'cause it's always deserved. “i know you had to work just to show them your worth. “remember that a plate is nothing but a plate. “even if it breaks we can throw it away. “i learned that i was only trying my best. “i think i owe her a deep breath. “she was the strongest little girl in a dress. “i'll wear it for you. “i'll strap up my shoes. “you were the strongest little fighter that carried me here. “i know that you're tired from surviving in fear. “so lay down, close your eyes. “cause now i got us for the rest of our life. “if i wanna wear pink i'll wear it for me. “if i wanna dance then i'll lift up on my feet. “i just wanna sing at the top of my lungs. “thanks for being there growing up so young.

[idkanametoputhere]

I tired, sleepy and working on a request so instead have a list of songs I'd play to freak out the twst characters or get them to leave me alone

note that all of this is meant as a joke and I listen to most of the artists/songs mentioned

masterlist<3

I feel like riddle would freak out by anything remotely sexual or anything too loud so I'd blast "HOT DEMON BITCHES NEAR YOU" by CORPSE(or anything by insane clown posse now that i think ab it)

for trey it's hard but I think just something a kid would listen to, like smth his little siblings listen to that he has grown sick of, so something like that fortnite song that goes number one victory royal, yeah fortnite we bouta get down" or however it goes

cater, for him I'd just put something related to all those bottled up feelings he has and he'll be gone faster than you can say "mentally ill". anywhore, I'd just play smth like idk "pity party" by melanie martinez or just any song that talks about loneliness or moving

Ace is very easy. anything slow or sappy. smth like "paris" from the chainsmokers or (surprisingly and embarassingly) "someday" from the disney chanel zombies movie, but like the second time they sing it which is slow and shit

for deuce its the creativity song from DHMIS, no more explanation given

for leona it's something that would keep him from sleeping do smth like "freaks" by timmy trumpet

ruggie is cardi b's "up", solely for the "broke boys don't deserve no pussy" line. man's would be offended

jackkkk is a difficult-ish one but I think he wouldn't like "everywhere I go" by Hollywood undead

for azul it's anything by ashnikko, nicki minaj, scene queen, corpse, cardi b, doja cat, need I explain?

for floyd we need something that would bore him, so I'd play Christmas carols but like the boooooooooring ones

jade is difficult, jade is very difficult. but I think he wouldn't like anything like nightcore or sped up ig. like he wouldn't like any of the high pitches. if nightmare doesn't work it's the Alvin and the chipmunks version of "bad romance"

for kalim we need something sad...anything by Conan gray

jamil on the other hand uhhhh I have a feeling deep in my heart that he wouldn't like songs from musicals, Hamilton specifically, so I'd play "the Reynolds pamphlet"

vil is easy, "mr boombastic" by idk who OR "mrs potato head" by melanie martinez

rook is a trick question, he won't leave, please help he has been staring at me through my tablet-

epel-> any old gacha life songs-

idia uhhh any comedic song from Wilbur soot ORRRRR that "heyyy brother, there's an endless world to rediscover" song cause ✨️trauma✨️

for ortho it's anything with cursing, idia has programmed him to leave

malleus would need something like "washing machine heart" by mitski or any song that has the meaning hidden. his two braincells cannot cooperate to figure it out

you can't get rid of lilia with music, physically impossible

sebek: idk man smth about anarchy or overthrowing the royals or smth like that

silver: is asleep

grimm: hello kitty theme song

Crowley: ANYTHING by Eminem, ANYTHING

crewel: anything slightly off tune so anything by the front bottoms

trein: "3 musketeers" by uhhhh idk

sam: idk man I'm tired and out of ideas

MUUUUUUUM MID IS SHITPOSTING AGAIN

[plenilune]

was tagged by @sandovers to do this meme; when u get this u have to put 5 songs 🎵 u actually listen to, publicly. then, send this to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool) ✨ LIKE JACQUI I am baffled by the wording of the meme -- are you trying to suss out Musik Sekrits and not the cool stuff everyone says they listen to all the time? alas, I am always happy to prove I'm the living fulfillment of the old don't-hand-the-trans-folk-the-aux-under-any-circumstances stereotype. anyway here's five songs I've been listening to a lot lately, some new to me, some old.

"So Pale It Shone In The Night" - The Stranger. this is from his album Watching Dead Empires in Decay which I see as a sort of urban mirror to the unsettling rural soundscapes of prior album Bleaklow. you may also know the Stranger from his work as the Caretaker, where he plays a lot with memory and sense of place. I've been cycling around on a lot of half-formed thoughts about dying empires (huh, wonder why) and industry towns after the industry's left and cities and memory lately and this track sounds like -- waking up, or trying to fall asleep, in a thin-walled apartment in a massive apartment block, and the sounds of furnaces, of neighbours moving about, doing dishes, putting the kettle on, radio static, the traffic and the trains outside, all these sounds blur together, the sounds of life, but weary and a little melancholy. anyway I'm obsessed with this entire album but this vivid and tactile little soundscape is one of my chief delights at the moment.

"Are You Going to Leave Me?" - Isobel Campbell. old favourite song from an old favourite album, this arrangement of a traditional ballad that's zigzagged back and forth from the UK to Appalachia for centuries builds layer upon layer, verse after verse, in a way that's incredibly driving and haunting.

"gec 2 Ü" - 100 gecs. feels like every six months a different 100 gecs song I hadn't paid individual attention to before completely takes over my psyche and I listen to it on repeat for hours. love the way this plays with melodramatic glittery early 2000s style ballad format, like Angels and Airwaves crossed with a 90s chanteuse, similar to "xXXi_wud_nvrstøp_ÜXXx" but less eerie, warping and toying with the sound, just detached enough to be a little arch and playful, and then breaks into one of the most wrenchingly sincere and tender refrains I've ever heard. "you're sitting all alone / and you call me on the phone / and you say, I need love / can you get to me now?" I get shivers and my chest aches. yeah. that's what it's like.

"Walk Like A Motherfucker" - Ghost Funk Orchestra. I listen to this a lot on the walk to work, even though it is about being a sleazy con man who is maybe beginning to weary of the grift, and all I do is sell groceries for Jeff Be-- WAIT A MINUTE. anyway, Ghost Funk Orchestra is one of my favourite recent discoveries -- for one, they actually deliver on the vibes promise inherent in the name, and I've been burned by so many bands with cool names promising a specific weird and chewy atmosphere they don't bother to actually create. absolutely great spectral, jammable funk. also while the band is not local, their record label is run out of an old favourite record shop in Loveland, Ohio, whose catalogue Corey and I have been plumbing excitedly since we found out about them last month.

"Myth" - Julie Feeney. I rediscovered this album I used to listen to a lot in 2011 last year when I was going through my old last.fm stats (YEAH BABY) trying to find a couple of obscure lost favourites. it is! so infectious! anyway this song came up on shuffle recently and reminded me about Julie Feeney once again and now I keep returning to it. this feels like watching a creek bubble up, wildly playful and inventive, skipping stones, spinning dizzily, whispering secrets.

[transgender-er]

Gonna give y'all the outline of the dream I had last night before I forget it

While staying with her, a kid rediscovers a locked room in their aunt's house that she says belonged to their cousin. She doesn't remember why the room was locked away, so she just ignores it whenever she passes by the door.

The cousin hasn't lived ived with her for nearly 25 years, but somehow there's a still-functional, still-on TV in the room, with several various old gaming consoles hooked up to it.

The room is connected to another, smaller room where the aunt says that the cousin used to keep what she calls a "zoo" of animals

The smaller room is full of smashed cages. When the protagonist looks in, they notice a dog lickiny something wet on the ground. A small horde of kittens, two adult cats, the adult dog, and a puppy appear from the mess and follow them out into the larger room.

They have no idea how the animals are in the room alive, but they are.

While looking at the games and the consoles, the aunt comments that she doesn't remember buying some of the games for the son.

This is brushed off as him having bought the games himself.

The protagonist is delighted with the room and asks the aunt if they can invite some friends over to play some of the games with.

She says yes, and leaves the room to go watch some old sitcoms, clearly bored with the room. The kid decides to try one of the games that the aunt didn't recognize, eventually choosing an old platformer.

They insert the game into one of the consoles, and after passing the start screen, choosing a character, and choosing a level, they're tucked into the game. We see them fail at the level a couple of times, but the respawn after dying. After they beat the level, they exit the game and are returned to their body.

The kid is absolutely delighted , and they're way more excited to show the friends than they were before.

The animals from the room are very affectionate toward the kid after they beat the game.

We get to the game night, and while flipping through games in a case, one of them finds a game labeled "DON'T PLAY" in red sharpie.

Being dumb kids, the group decide to play the game anyways. They make it through a couple levels before they're sucked into the game. The first level woth them as a part of it seems to be a maze set in a sewer. This one goes by without a hitch, and the level repeats a few times.

The next level, they're deposited in a void, with a set of stairs leading down below them. The stairs light up as a short song snippet plays. One of the friends tries to just descend the stairs normally, but he is killed and respawns.

The rest of them deduce that it has to be a puzzle where they have to recreate the pattern the stairs lit up in. They make it to the end if the staircase and are faced with a hallway where the same thing happens, then another staircase, another hallway, a staircase, a hallway, etc. (In a montage of successes and failures)

After completing this level, they barely get a glimpse of the next before they're suddenly kicked back into their own bodies by the game being removed from the console, seemingly by nobody.

The next level was an otherworldly, red wasteland, covered in fungus and rot.

The game night ends with promises to meet up again the next week.

Strage things start to happen after the game was played, however. Some of the kittens go missing, and one of the mother cats falls ill. Then, the kid finds a small patch of red fungus in the corner behind the dresser the TV was sat on top of.

One day, as the kid opens the door to the room, they find a red vine covering part of the doorway. The room beyond is a dump, like it had been ransacked. Whole trying to clean up the mess, the kid finds the missing kittens, but they've been fused together into something grotesque. As they watch, the sick mother cat joins them in the gooey lump that was her children. Then, the dog joins.

In a panic, the kid tries to save the rest of the kittens and the puppy from this horrifying fate by carrying them out of the room and bolting the door behind them as the third adult animals grafts itself to the rest.

There's writing on the door now, in the same red sharpie as the game: "YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE PLAYED"

and then I woke up.

[hier--soir]

☆★ jessie's masterlist★☆

hi welcome :)

my blog is 18 + minors do not interact. warnings/tags included on each individual work. do not copy or translate my writing.

follow @hier--soirupdates if you'd like to be notified when i share my writing

ELLIE WILLIAMS | THE LAST OF US

★ sun don't set: life in the little house is calm - quiet. days pass in a blur of fruit and sunshine and companionship. slow mornings, afternoons, and evenings. ellie is slowly rediscovering her love for music, and on that journey, she writes a song about you.

JOHN PRICE | CALL OF DUTY

★ heart to heart: john takes you away for the weekend, and nestled in a cottage on the countryside, you show him just how much you've been missing him.

SIMON “GHOST” RILEY | CALL OF DUTY

★big: he’s big and he knows it.

JOEL MILLER | THE LAST OF US

★ a lover's pinch [series]: a one-night stand with a charming texan turns into something much more thrilling when you discover he is your new college professor. joel miller is entirely off limits. but now that you’ve had a taste, will you be able to keep your hands to yourselves?

★ take your medicine: your medication makes it difficult to orgasm so joel (and your vibrator) help make it happen

★ ripe: a night out with old friends helps you and joel realise what’s been missing in your relationship.

★ fwb!joel [series]: two friends decide to blow off a little steam together. slowly but surely, it turns into more.

★ night breeze: joel comes home to find you sleeping in his bed, wearing his clothes.

★ fake it: does joel know you well enough to know when you're faking it?

★ back to texas: joel goes back to his house in texas

�� sleepy: joel is out like a light, but you can only think of one thing that will help you fall asleep

★ be good: joel was never really the submissive type. until he met you, and realised he'd do whatever you asked of him

★ tender is the night [for a broken heart]: a birthday dinner gets interrupted by a drunk ex, who still can't say the words you need to hear.

★ under the night [series]: peaceful settlement life in jackson is vastly different to how you once lived; traversing the united states, fighting to survive, and constantly looking over your shoulder. when you find solace and connection in joel miller and your guard lowers, will it become clear that jackson isn't as safe as it once seemed?

ABBY ANDERSON | THE LAST OF US PART II

★ high strung: abby has seemed distracted in your sessions as of late. when you discover why, you help to ease some of her tension.

★ one last time: when the woman you love comes crawling back in the middle of the night, can you convince her to stay?

FRANCISCO MORALES | TRIPLE FRONTIER

★ vis-à-vis: your bedroom window offers a direct view into your cute neighbour's apartment. as time goes by, you two start looking for each other through the glass. shy glances become desperate, needy glimpses into each other's lives until one day, you finally make contact.

DIN DJARIN | THE MANDALORIAN

★ raising cain [series]: over fifteen months and three different cities, two lonely souls keep finding their way back to one another. leading fragile lives of solitude, of violence, both Cain and Din Djarin can't help but be drawn to the familiarity in the other's embrace; the feeling of another person truly knowing them, in a world where not many can. as their lives begin to unravel, the two are faced with a choice between trusting, or having it all end in bloodshed.

[andybondurant]

New Post has been published on Andy Bondurant

New Post has been published on https://andybondurant.com/2023/04/11/meditation-renew-your-mind/

Meditation: Renew Your Mind.

In 1994, The Lion King was released in movie theaters. It was an instant hit, grossing nearly $250 million at the box office alone (to date, it’s made over $1.6 billion!), making it the second most successful movie release of all time and the most successful animated movie of all time. Those records have been eclipsed, but The Lion King is still the best-selling home movie of all time. 

I was one of those people who contributed to its success through my ticket purchase.

I remember sitting in the theater, at about 20 years old, in awe of the storytelling – through animation, song, and voice acting. It was more than just a kid’s movie. It was an epic for all ages.

Rafiki lifts Simba up in The Lion King

Specifically, I remember my feelings from the opening scene (mirrored by the closing scene). It opens with the sun rising over the savannah and pans across the various animals awaking to a new day. It moves to birds, then giraffes, elephants and more migrating to Pride Rock where they where sits the Lion King, Mufasa.  He is greeted by his close advisor, Zazu, and then the old priest, Rafiki, who immediately goes to the prince, lion cub, Simba. This is when it gets really good.

At this point in the scene, the music is quieted, but it begins to swell again as Rafiki takes Simba from his mother’s paws. He turns and slowly walks to the top of Pride Rock. When he arrives, Rafiki triumphantly lifts Simba to the air. The animals react with pride – the elephants blow their trunks, the monkeys jump up and down screaming their approval, the zebras stamp the ground. Then they all bow to the future king of the savannah.

I saw God in a movie theater

The scene was grand – especially watching it on a massive movie screen (one of the largest in Kansas City at that time). As I watched the animals bow to Simba who was lifted before them, I was reminded of Jesus’ triumphant entry into Jerusalem. As Jesus entered into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, the people shouted and sang to greet him. They greeted him as the long-awaited king. The Pharisees confronted Jesus, and commanded him to tell the people to stop. Jesus response is simple:

“I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.”  ‭‭

Luke‬ ‭19‬:‭40‬ ‭NIV‬‬

In a movie theater, I experienced God. I saw a version of Jesus’ promise — creation crying out to praise it’s King. A movie, having nothing to do with ‘Christianity’ pointed me to God.

The ancients would call this experience ‘contemplation.’ In other words, I saw God in the world around me – specifically in culture. In a movie made by people of all beliefs and faiths (most not aligned with my faith), God embedded himself, and God allowed me to see him in it. 

A Renewed Mind: How to see God.

Recently, I’ve rediscovered a key to hearing God through contemplation in my own life. Like most things in the spiritual world, the principle is simple but not easy to put into practice. 

The first couple of verses of Romans 12 is well known to followers of Jesus:

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” 

Romans‬ ‭12‬:‭1‬-‭2‬ ‭NIV

I highlighted that middle sentence, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind,” because I’ve found it to the key to seeing God more clearly in the world around me.

Your mind WILL be conformed to something.

Here is the amazing truth about that statement, it’s just as true today as it was 2,000 years ago. The world around me is attempting to conform me to its shape. More than ever, media in all its different forms (print, television, internet, social platforms) is turning us into its disciples. We are spending hours daily on social media alone – the average is 2.5 hours daily for a working-age adult (another study suggested it is as high as 3.5 hours daily).

How do I battle the natural conformity my spirit and soul want to make to the world’s standards? First, I reduce the time I am using media. Simple…not easy, but you can do it. Access the tools you have on your phone, tablet. Read more books. Take up hobbies.

Second, begin the process of renewing your mind. Over the last several years, I’ve been building habits to renew my mind – reading Scripture, journaling, praying, meditating. If you are a follower of Jesus, these concepts may not be new to you, but are you actively walking them out? In honesty, I was not walking many of these practices out. I would read my bible, but I didn’t allow it to transform me.

Again, they are simple ideas, but not always easy to walk out regularly.

Let me dive deep into the discipline of meditation which I’ve just begun daily practicing this year. Meditation is an act of renewing my mind. It teaches me to quiet my own thoughts, and to put all of my focus on God, his Word and how it impacts my life. If you are interested in learning more about what I share below, I encourage you to read Resilient by John Eldredge. I’ve taken his thoughts and found a practice that works for me.

How to Biblically Meditate

Historically, meditation is a discipline practiced by followers of Jesus, but meditation was used by God’s faithful long before Jesus. Psalm 1 is a foundation for the entire book. It imparts wisdom similar to what we find in the book of Proverbs. A vital part to this foundation is meditation:

“Blessed is the one  who does not walk in step with the wicked  or stand in the way that sinners take  or sit in the company of mockers,  but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,  and who meditates on his law day and night.  That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,  which yields its fruit in season  and whose leaf does not wither—  whatever they do prospers.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭1‬:‭1‬-‭3‬ ‭NIV‬‬

In recent church history, a fear of meditation has arisen. The fear has come from the popularity of eastern meditation which teaches to empty the mind of all conscious thought. The Psalmist makes clear it’s not just knowing the truth of God which develops and strengthens us. We become strong and capable followers of Jesus by meditating on God’s truth too.

The practice outlined below will teach to to actively fill your mind with God’s truth and meditate on it. Here are the steps I take in my discipline of meditation:

1. Pair Meditation with Scripture + Journaling

Let me begin by encouraging you to pair this practice with reading the Bible. As I just showed, a key to Biblical meditation is not emptying yourself of thoughts, but focusing on the things of God. To do this, you must have something of God to think about. A part of my meditation process is focusing on the things I’ve just read during my daily Bible reading. 

I’ve shared this in my post How to Understand the Bible, but part of my Bible reading process is to journal the things that “jump off the page” at me. When I write these things down, it’s easier for me to recall them as I meditate. 

So journaling helps me to recall what I’ve just read, but journaling after mediation can be helpful too. It’s very possible God will begin to show you new pictures, thoughts or ideas about what you’ve read and meditated on. Write these things down, so you can recall them in the days and years to come.

2. Set a timer, but give yourself grace.

I’ve learned lots of lessons about this process, but the first thing I’ve learned is meditation is hard. Quieting all of the things that roll through your mind is not easy — work demands, family commitments, bills to be paid all want to invade your thoughts. A timer helps you work toward a goal.

This is a habit you are creating, so begin small. Start with just a couple of minutes. I was brave (maybe too brave?), and started with ten minutes. However, I haven’t progressed beyond that in the several months I’ve been regular meditating. Many days, I fail at a solid ten minutes.

So have a goal each day, but be easy on yourself. Some days the time will fly by, and other days it will be a real challenge. If you fail, give yourself grace. Meditation is a spiritual muscle you are building, and to begin it most likely is atrophied and weak. Just like with a physical workout, the true win is showing up again the next day.

3. Quiet Your Body: posture yourself to receive.

I meditate in the place I read, journal and pray – my kitchen table. It’s a physically comfortable place for me, and I can hear the nature not far from me in my backyard. I begin by closing my eyes, so I am not distracted by any of my surroundings. I also put my arms on the armrests of the chair palms open and up.

There is spiritual significance to the physical action of opening your hands to God. First, opening my hands is a sign of surrender. In mediation, I want to surrender all of my own thoughts and feelings to what God wants to show me. Second, I want to release anything I am holding onto – emotionally, mentally, even physically. I don’t want to enter into my time of mediation holding onto things that will keep me from hearing God.

My posture physically shows I belong to God.

4. Meditation: Quiet Your Mind.

All meditation share this common denominator – pushing out unwanted thoughts from your mind. The difference with biblical meditation is you are choosing to think on the Bible (as opposed to emptying yourself of all conscious thought). Paul in multiple places talks about the inward spiritual war we wage against both the enemy of our soul and our own sin nature. 

In 2 Corinthians 10, Paul writes about this spiritual warfare of the mind like this (emphasis mine):

“The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 

2 Corinthians‬ ‭10‬:‭4‬-‭5‬ ‭NIV‬‬

As you meditate, push out all those thoughts of your to-do list, social media posts and bills to pay that come flooding into your mind. This is what it means by taking them captive. You push those thoughts out, so you think only on the things of God. There will be a time and place for those (important and unimportant) things, but now is not the time.

5. I choose You. 

I begin my meditation by making these three statements:

God, I choose you.

Jesus, I choose you.

Holy Spirit, I choose you.

This is a slow, step-by-step process. I start with God, and I mentally walk through all it means for me to choose God. I choose him over my goals and dreams: it means I lay down my own honor and glory. Meditation means creating mental pictures of what it is you are thinking. So see myself bowing down to God.

Then I turn my thoughts to choosing Jesus. I see him at the right hand of the Father — that is his place, not mine. I tell Jesus I choose to abide or be in him. Jesus tells us in John 15 he is a vine and we are the branches, and we are to be in him. So I picture myself as a branch connected to the vine of Jesus. I tell Jesus I am willing to be pruned (a scary thought if I am honest). 

I finish by choosing the Holy Spirt. It’s important to note we worship the trinity, and the Holy Spirit is often forgotten. However, it is the Holy Spirit who truly allows me to renew mind (remember, this is the final outcome). As this process is a lot of mental images, I see myself stepping into a pool of water — the Spirit. I ask Him to fill me, and I see my body being filled with Him beginning with my feet (as I’m standing in the pool) and working its way to the top of my head. I ask the Holy Spirit to anoint my eyes, ears, mouth, heart, hands and feet.

6. Word of the Year

That portion I just described typically takes about half of my time (4-6 minutes), so when I finish I turn my attention in different directions. One place I go is my 2023 Word of the Year: PEACE. 

At the end of 2022, I kept reading Jesus’ promise to his followers:

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” ‬‬

‭‭John‬ ‭14‬:‭27‬ ‭NIV

It has become my focus for my year, so many times I meditate on peace in all it’s different aspects. I again, see myself stepping into a pool of peace. It is a promise from Jesus, so it is available for me to step into at any point. I then picture myself walking into the world as God’s agent of peace.

7. End Meditation with Scripture

At this point, I still have a few minutes left on my timer (yes, I check…ten minutes is a long time!). So I will begin to think about different bible passages I’ve read that day. Again, journaling makes this easier for me to recall. For instance, just today I read, highlighted and journaled this verse from 2 Timothy:

“But you must remain faithful to the things you have been taught. You know they are true, for you know you can trust those who taught you.” ‬‬

2 Timothy‬ ‭3‬:‭14‬ ‭NLT

I meditated on being a person who is trustworthy. I prayed and meditated about my children having people in their lives they can trust with the things they are taught. Again, this is an act of developing mental pictures, so I saw people I’ve trusted over the years with God’s Word in my life.

Meditation: Renewed to See God

That is my practice of meditating. Some days it flies by, but many days I check my watch multiple times. Other days I can’t make it through all ten minutes. However, as I build this discipline in my life, I’ve found the promise of Psalm 1:3 being fulfilled. 

I am seeing fruit. My roots are growing deeper and wider in the soil of God. I find myself having less dry or desert seasons. Most noticeable are the daily sin struggles I couldn’t seem to overcome becoming less pronounced. I am finding wins in those areas of my life.

In short, my mind is being renewed. My soul is transformed by the Spirit of God by intentionally focusing on the things of God for just a few minutes each day. As my mind is renewed, my spirit is transformed, I hear God through contemplation. I see God in the world around me.

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

A yoga retreat on Wuhu Island

There’s something about Wuhu Island that makes you feel energized, like you can take on the world by storm. I’m by far not an athletic person but there’s something about the environment here that makes me want to get up and get a good workout in. I’d say the calming scenery contributes to that as it’s the perfect place to go hiking, biking, gliding, jogging - you name it.

It’s been a couple years since I last visited and if I recall, the island hasn’t changed too much, which is a good thing. By luck, us campers managed to reserve a bunch of seats for the yoga retreat, which is no easy feat as those fill up quickly. That’s part of the reason why we haven’t been back in so long - I mean, Wuhu is a popular vacation spot for good reason.

Along with us campers, Arabeth and Elaina also managed to snag a reservation for themselves. I haven’t hung out with them in forever so it was nice to run into them on the plane. It’s been nice catching up with them while running around the island.

I’m glad that Elaina and her family’s in good spirits. She says a part of her still kinda finds it hard to believe that her mother’s gone but at least she went peacefully. The last time I saw Qing was at her final public performance at Briar Woodwinds a few years ago and that was an amazing experience. Since then she enjoyed a quiet retirement. Then a couple months ago her health took a turn for the worse and she passed away with her family by her side after a brief hospital stay.

After hearing of Qing’s passing, I’ve been on a binge listening to her music. It’s amazing to look back on her life in terms of her music and family. She’s lived a good life and in the end, that’s what matters the most. I may not be able to leave behind a legacy like Qing, but I hope to live a fulfilled life with little regrets.

A couple weeks ago, Elaina and Chris released one last song from Qing, her swan song. Earlier this year Chris and the boys were helping Qing go through some old stuff when they came across a demo tape from about twenty years ago. One of the tracks was a song written by Qing’s friend that was somehow shelved or forgotten until it was rediscovered. With next year marking 60 years since Qing began her recording career, it seemed like a good idea to surprise fans with one last song.

Taking Flight indeed is a swan song, and a very fitting one at that. The lyrics sound so bittersweet, they’re the words of someone who knows the end is near and wants to reassure their loved ones that everything’s gonna be all right. When the song came out I had been listening to it on a loop because for some reason the message just hit me.

No matter how far and wide we fly, we always leave a part of ourselves behind - memories, stories, music, sorrows - and those are what carry us through time. With that in mind, no one can truly be forgotten. I’d like to think that I could leave something behind, even if only for those who truly knew me, because it would mean at least I made an impact on someone.

Elaina admits that some days are better than others, as expected when going through a loss, but she’s doing well. The fact that her mom wasn’t in any pain and was able to say goodbye to her family is more than enough. That’s good to hear and I’m sure that makes things a lot easier for her and Chris.

As for the rest of the family, they’re doing fine too. David still vlogs on a semi-regular basis while also working freelance so I can still keep up with the occasional Allegri family antics. Even though they are aunt and nephew, they have this chaotic sibling vibe that’s interesting to see. As for Chris, aside from being a literal dad to David, he does sometimes kinda serve as a second parent figure to Elaina despite their small age gap. Though Chris often comes across as the most serious Allegri, they’re all a bit chaotic in their own way and that’s part of their charm.

David’s brothers, Danny and Jeremy have been doing their own thing, which Elaina finds kinda hard getting used to since she’s used to seeing the twins together. They started drifting apart when Jeremy decided to go to Oxford and from the looks of it, he’s probably gonna stay after graduating next year. She kinda suspected that after his first semester, something that Chris won’t admit that he isn’t too happy about but is happy for his son nonetheless. As for Danny, he dropped out of community college after one year so he’s been working odd jobs since then. Chris was fine with him taking one year off but now it’s way past that he’s insisting that Danny either go back to school or find a more stable job. Elaina’s been trying to help but that’s been easier said than done.

Angie has taken after Elaina and Qing in terms of her love for music and being a ray of sunshine. Elaina showed me clips of various performances from school plays, concerts, and recitals and Angie really does steal the show. She’s already looking into places like Starling and Julliard so that’s amazing! Elaina said that she sees a lot of her mother in Angie, even more so now that she’s gone. Being the youngest, and the closest to her grandma, Angie was hit a lot harder by her death, but she too is carrying on. There’s no doubt that musical talent runs in the family.

Arabeth’s doing fine as well, busy as usual with dance and helping Lawton with the younger kids. It took a bit of time for Lawton to get back into the swing of things considering how unpredictable the schedule of a pilot can be, but he’s adjusting well and the older kids help out whenever they can. I remember how Lawton was considering going back to work on a part time basis now that Saige, the youngest, is in school, but had his doubts for various reasons. Luckily he has Chris, who went through a similar transition, to guide him on what difficulties to expect and how to avoid running yourself into the ground.

I can’t imagine working a job where you have to travel half the time while raising a family as a single parent, so Chris and Lawton have my respect. As much as I enjoy traveling, I don’t think I’d want to be on the go most of the time, especially if I’m the one responsible for making sure a bunch of people get to their intended destination in time.

Lawton’s eldest, Mallory and Skylar are in college - Mallory commutes from home while Skylar is abroad. Erisy is starting to look into colleges, particularly athletic scholarships as some universities have been taking an interest in her. Rockwell and Saige have taken after their aunt as they enjoy dancing.

Arabeth had admitted that she was hesitant about her brother going back to work, but now that the kids are older and have busy schedules, it doesn’t really make sense for Lawton to just sit at home. Saige, as expected, had a bit of a hard time to adjusting when her dad’s not home at first but now she’s used to it, and it’s not like Lawton’s gone for long - a couple days at the most, so it’s not a big deal. As for whether he’ll take on international flights again, that’s still up for debate, at least for another couple years, but according to Arabeth he’s completely fine with just domestic flights. Chris, on the other hand, has fully transitioned into full time earlier this year, and Elaina says his hours thankfully aren’t too crazy.

Yoga at the park has been a lot of fun! I think the chill atmosphere contributes to that as there’s no pressure to get it right the first time. The instructors are super helpful and they let everyone do things at their own pace, which I’m happy about. I know it’s good to have some sort of exercise routine but honestly I can’t be bothered. However if I were ever to try doing something like a daily workout I feel like yoga would be the way to go.

Even though I’m not a morning person, I’d say the 7am classes have been worth the hassle. Doing yoga early in the morning has awakened my mind and body, so I feel great afterwards. In fact, being on the island in general has made me feel more energized and well rested than usual, so I feel like I get a lot more accomplished in a day. Like I said, there’s a reason why Wuhu’s a popular sports resort, especially for those who aren’t really into athletics.

The lack of pressure to be good at something really is freeing. I’m no perfectionist but I am the kind of person who tends to steer away from something if I feel like I’m not good enough and people are gonna judge me for that. Aside from not being too interested in sports, I also lack athletic ability, and being aware of that while having that being pointed out to you as a flaw that must be fixed is a good way of shutting someone down.

Over the years I’ve learned not to judge myself based on skills, something that a lot of people are in the process of unlearning. Sure it’s nice to learn something and be good at it, but you shouldn’t get too wrapped up about it. You may not be good at something but you still enjoy it nonetheless. Shouldn’t that count for something if it makes you happy? It’s not easy but it really is a lot freeing to let go and not be tied down by what you think is expected of you.

After yoga, Daisy Jane, Arabeth, Elaina, and I just do whatever strikes our fancy. Today happened to be running around a giant obstacle course. Out of the four, I came out last, though I wasn’t too far behind Daisy Jane. I’d like to think all my years of hiking has helped me out as there was quite a bit of climbing involved. Also, the point of the obstacle course is to see how creative you can be rather than speed and agility, so that made it more fun.

(Now I’m starting to get ideas for our next big camp event…Knowing Isabelle, building a giant obstacle course at the campsite isn’t impossible.)

Other fun activities we did were wind gliding, mountain biking, kickboxing, diving, water skiing, and tennis. Again, I wasn’t very good at most of these but it was an enjoyable experience. There’s just so much to do on Wuhu Island that it can get a bit overwhelming, so we try not to take on too much. So it’s one big activity and the rest is mostly chill.

Like last time, I think my biking is my favorite activity on the island. There’s so much to see and it always changes depending on what activities are going on at the moment. I wasn’t one of those kids who rode their bike around the neighborhood - I just wasn’t good at riding a bike in general - so to pick up biking as an adult feels different. Somehow biking as an adult is more enjoyable - probably because as a kid I was kinda pressured to get into it because it was a kid thing. Again not the best at it, but at least I can go at my own pace and not feel self conscious about it.

We’re about halfway through the yoga class now and I’m already starting to miss Wuhu. Tomorrow after class we’re gonna go bowling and then attend a dance class. The weather’s also gonna be a lot warmer so we’re gonna head to the beach too.

[sinnabonka]

Prompt: Sam figuring out that Cas has feelings for Dean and vice versa!

(I might have got carried away with this one)

There’s no eureka moment, the understanding doesn’t fall from the sky. It starts like a little song playing on the back of Sam’s head, quiet, unobtrusive, that gets louder and louder every day, up to the point he can’t ignore it anymore.

First, there are looks, few words ringing not quite right. There is the accidental brushing of sleeves and knuckles. There’s healing with the usually not required touch. There’s a hug, when Castiel comes back from the dead once again, that lasts just a moment longer to be casual. Then there’s “It’s Cas”, as if it explains everything, and there’s “He’s coming with us” and finally there’s “Cas is family”, which ends the argument.

There are movie nights with one bowl of popcorn for two of them and half voice midnight conversations with beer, loud laughs at breakfasts and some more looks. 

All the “Are you coming?” are met with “Of course”, but Dean just keeps asking. He doesn’t have to, he knows it, Cas knows it, Sam knows it, too, but he still does it every time.

Dean stares, when Cas seems to be too deep in the book to notice. Castiel stares back, when Dean throws himself at the burger after the long and exhausting hunt. Sam smiles, when the angel blushes and averts his eyes being caught.

It’s not his goddamn business, so he doesn’t get any farther then a knowing smile and an occasional joke, but he knows. Sam has no idea when it has changed, when the tectonic plates in his brother’s mind shifted and initiated the imminent collapse of the walls he’s been raising within himself for so long. They go down crushing, eventually freeing him. 

Dean feels lighter, he looks lighter, the green in his eyes starts to shine with renewed vigour. He smiles more often, and his smiles are not bitter and they don’t stay only on his lips anymore. His whole face lights up and his eyes get framed with tiny wrinkles, them being the only implication of the years that have passed. That’s a good look on him. 

One night Dean shoves himself on the couch right between Sam and Cas, as if there was no perfectly good armchair next to the TV. In the old days, they’d be fighting over such a perfect spot for the movie night, but now? After some fidgeting and wriggling, Dean finally settles in, takes the bowl of popcorn from the table and puts it down onto his knees.

“A’right.” Dean nudges Cas with his elbow. “Ready for a little hike through Middle-earth?”

Dean’s face is ridiculous, he can’t bring himself to stop smiling. Cas, on other hand, looks at the still image on the screen with a confused frown. 

“I thought it was supposed to be a movie night,” he glances at Dean.

Sam chuckles. Cas might have lost his alien tilt of head along with his grace, gained some normal habits, started to wear hoodies and t-shirts, rediscovered his love for PB&J, even caught a cold once, but he still was not fully human. 

“No, that’s not...I…oh, come on.” Dean bursts with laughter, as if it was the funniest thing ever happened in the bunker. Cas eyes soften, they always do when he hears Dean laughing, especially, when he is the reason for that. “Middle-Earth? Shire? We’ve talked about it, man, c’mon.” 

Cas nods, lips puckered, eyes fixed on Dean’s hand now resting on top of his thigh. Dean does not notice, or acts like doesn't, stuffing his face with popcorn using his other hand. Neither is bothered by the touch, so why should Sam be? 

The movie is so goddamn long, and for the most part Dean keeps narrating everything that’s happening on screen. He explains what Cas doesn’t get, he points out some important details, he talks and he talks and he talks. And Castiel listens, silent, content, eyes bright and shiny in the dim lights. He looks like a kid seeing a Christmas tree for the first time in his life. Cas looks at Dean, and he doesn’t see a man in his forties with silver already touching his temples, he sees a miracle. Sam looks away, finding the scene too sacred for him to witness.

Cas straightens up his legs at some point, which have started to fall asleep with not much going on for the last two hours. It has it’s downhill, meaning Dean taking away his hand. The deep shadow of disappointment lays across Cas’ face, as his thigh starts to cool off. He sighs. Right away, with a little smile, Dean, eyes on TV through the whole action, casually throws his hand against the back of the couch. It just happens to be around Cas’ shoulders, too.

Sam smiles softly at the imagery. The way Cas instantly cozies closer to Dean’s side and grabs a handful of popcorn to munch on, makes his heart skip a beat. He might have suspected it for a long time, he might have even known it deep inside, but seeing it with his own two eyes... 

It hits differently.

Sam gets his stuff, yawns theatrically, making sure Dean notices the gesture and doesn’t think his hand around Cas’ shoulders has anything to do with him leaving, and heads out.

“Night, Sammy,” Dean rasps behind his back. 

“Good night, you two.” 

Sam glances at them, before shutting the door. Cas is slowly drifting off, head resting atop Dean’s shoulder, and Dean, with one of his softest smiles on, is gently stroking Cas’ side. He might be still looking at the screen, but his mind is definitely not in Shire anymore. There’s something in his eyes Sam has never seen before.

He catches Sam looking, but instead of interrupting the mindless movement of his hand, he just pulls Cas closer. Instead of getting embarrassed and looking away, he gives Sam one of those expressions screaming “I know, right? How lucky am I?”

Sam chuckles and nods. Yes, you are.

The door shuts with a quiet thud, leaving Sam alone in the darkness of the corridor. He stays there for a moment, just listening to the rambling of TV and a single little squeak of the couch, probably just Dean leaning back, so Cas could snooze while still in his arms. 

Sam walks back to his room thinking that life is not as bad.

Good things do happen. And sometimes to Winchesters, too.

[electricbarnes]

time is not on our side 

steve rogers x reader 

summary: ever since steve went against the sokovia accords, he’s been on the run. but he still takes time to see you, even if it’s only for a night. 

↳ songs i listened to for inspiration

wc: 2.8k | warnings: pretty fluffy i would say, but its got a little angst, implied smut 

note: it’s missing steve hrs

Nat: Don’t be gone too long.

Steve reads the text on the small screen of his flip phone, but he doesn’t bother to reply back. He shoves the phone back into his pocket as he turns into a dark alleyway. He glances behind him, making sure no one is watching him. The streets are fairly empty considering the late hour.

Steve carefully climbs his way up one of the fire escapes. The creaking of the old metal echoes through the empty alley. He goes up to the third floor and slides open an unlocked window. Steve ducks inside the dark apartment that’s only dimly lit by the street lights outside. His eyes do a quick scan of the room, looking for any possible dangers.  

He closes the window and flips the latch, making sure it’s locked this time. Just as he turns around, the hallway light turns on, revealing your silhouette. You clearly just woke up, judging by the flyaways of your hair and the old tee shirt you usually wear to bed. You squint your eyes into the darkness and they widen at the sight of the man standing in your living room.

“Steve?”

A gasp escapes your lips and you practically throw yourself on him, but Steve easily catches you. Your arms wrap around his neck while his automatically circles around your waist, pulling you in close. He ignores the pain from the bruise on his ribs, focusing on the feeling of having you in his arms again instead. The tension leaves his body as he melts into your embrace. His senses filled with the familiar sweet scent of your lotion.

Your soft clean skin contrasts the dirt and grime that covers him and his tattered suit. Though, you don’t seem to mind. He knows he should’ve cleaned up before he got here, but his time is limited and he wanted as much time with you as possible.

You pull back from him after a moment to get a good look at his face. Steve sees your smile morph into a frown and your eyebrows scrunch together. Your hand goes to his forehead, fingers carefully tracing the cut above his eyebrow. He forgot about the small injury.

Though he hates seeing you upset, Steve can’t help the small smile that appears on his face. He leans in, placing a kiss between your furrowed brows. He whispers an “I’m okay,” to ease your worries. It seems to work because your adoring smile returns.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” you say quietly, as if this were a dream that would end at any moment. It makes him wonder if you have dreams about him like he has of you. He knows all too well that feeling of disappointment when he wakes up alone, wishing the dream had lasted a little longer.

“I’m here,” he affirms, squeezing your hips as a confirmation that this was real. He seals it with a kiss that you immediately fall into. Your hand combs through his, now longer, hair as the kiss deepens. Before it could go any further, you pull away from him. Steve chases your lips for one more kiss, earning a giggle from you. He’s missed that adorable laugh of yours.

Your hand brushes over his beard. He had forgotten about that too. His look has changed a lot since the last time he’s seen you. Being a wanted criminal meant that he could skip the shaving in order to hide his face more. He’s far from the golden boy image that he was before.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” you say, as you take his hand into yours and lead him to the bathroom.

Steve sits patiently while you clean the cut on his face. You’re standing in between his legs and his hands rest on the curve of your hips, just wanting to keep you close. He watches your concentrated expression, thinking it’s cute. He loves how much you care for even the smallest of cuts. He’s pretty sure if he got a papercut, you’d treat it the same.

“It’ll be healed by tomorrow, you know?” he tells you.

“I know,” you say as you toss away the cotton you were using to clean his cut. You shrug, placing both of your hands on his shoulders, “I just wanna take care of you.”

Steve’s heart warms at your words. He looks up at you in disbelief. How did he get so lucky to have you? Even after months apart with radio silence, you still welcome him with open arms. You still care for him. He worries about the day when you’ll get tired of the distance. When it’ll become too much and you’ll give up on this barely there relationship. He knows it isn’t fair to you and you deserve far more than he can give. And yet... you’re still here.

Your hands move up to his cheeks, pulling him in for a quick kiss before leaving his side to turn on the shower.

“Alright, you take a shower and I’ll get you some clothes,” you tell him.

“Care to join me?” Steve asks with a smirk. He walks over to you, his hands wandering to the band of your sleep shorts.

You match his smile but shake your head, “Nuh uh, I don’t think you need any distractions.” You remove his hands from your waist and step back from him, “Now take off your suit.”

“Sweetheart, you can’t just say that and leave me by myself,” he groans, throwing his head back.

“I think you’ll be fine,” you say with a laugh and he can’t help but laugh too. Though he’s slightly disappointed in your rejection, he knows it's probably for the best.  

Once he’s out of his suit, you take his gear from him and leave to give him some privacy. Steve steps into the shower and involuntarily lets out a sigh of relief as the hot water instantly relaxes his muscles. He hasn’t had a good shower in far too long. The grueling weeks of underground missions and uncomfortable nights in the quinjet washes off of him. For a moment, Steve wonders if this is how it could always be. Feeling at peace, not having to be so guarded all the time. Just being here with you in your home makes him forget about the dark life he’s been leading for nearly a year now. Here, he feels like he can finally catch his breath.

Though he wants to stay longer under the hot water, he washes up quickly because he doesn’t want to waste anymore time without you. He gets dressed in the white tee shirt and grey sweats you left for him on the counter. Thankfully, you always keep spare clothes for him.

Just as Steve walks out of the bathroom, you walk into the room holding two mugs.

“I made some tea,” you say, handing him a blue mug with his iconic shield printed on the side. It made him chuckle. He secretly loved how you would keep these little reminders of him.

“And I cleaned your suit as best as I could. The star’s a little loose though,” you tell him.  

“Dont worry about it,” Steve takes the mug and pulls you in with his free hand, giving you a kiss on your forehead. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

Soon enough, half filled cups of tea are forgotten on the nightstand. Clothing thrown around the room without care. Steve couldn’t help himself after craving your touch for so long. He’s sure you’ve felt the same, your breathy “please” told him so. Though he didn’t give in so quick, never missing a chance to tease you. Steve took his time rediscovering your taste. Remembering all the ways he drew out those little gasps. He’s dreamt about the way you wrap around him, but that could never compare to the real thing. He missed the way your body felt pressed against his. He missed the sounds of your moans in his ear and the sweet relief that comes after you both meet your ends.

For the rest of the night, the two of you laid in bed, legs twisted together and comfortably wrapped up in each other’s arms. Despite the late hour, you stayed up just talking.

Steve asked about what you have been up to since he’s been gone. You told him about how it’s been at work and the times you’d meet up with your friends over the weekend. You told him about the week you spent with your parents, wishing he could’ve been there. And you talked about the shows you’ve been watching, promising that you’d watch it with him one day.

Your lives were so different now. He wishes he could go back to the days when things weren’t so difficult. He wants that normalcy again, or at least what was normal for an Avenger. He thought he gave up on the idea of wanting a domestic life, forfeited to being a hero instead. But things have changed. Ever since he’s met you, you’ve unknowingly changed his mind.

Maybe it’s the time apart that’s making these moments with you that much more valuable, but it’s all he wants now. It always seems like a fleeting dream. This kind of domestic life isn’t in the cards for him. But the nights he gets to have with you give him hope that it could be possible. He knows he could never completely give up his heroic lifestyle. People need him and he is never one to turn a blind eye. He just hopes that one day he can find a compromise.

Maybe someday he can show up at your office and steal you away for lunch. Or he can join you on those nights out with your friends and get to know them. He would finally meet your family, saving you from them trying to set you up on a date. He’d finally introduce you to the team, the people he considers family. Bucky already knows about you. Steve couldn’t hide someone so important from his best friend. He's pretty sure that Sam and Natasha know where he runs off to every now and then. They even subtly remind him of how risky it is to sneak away. But after the fighting for so long, being with you is just what he needs, even if only for a night.

You were curious, of course, of what Steve has been up to in the time he was gone and where in the world he’s been. Steve avoided any details of the missions he’s gone on. He didn’t want to make you worry, though he’s sure you do anyways. He only tells you the good parts.

“Bucky has goats now,” he says with a smile, recalling the sight of Bucky helping the Wakandans on their farms.

“Really?” you raise your head from his chest, a look of surprise on your features.

“Yeah,” he says with a breathy laugh. “One of them even tried to eat Sam’s pants.”

“Oh my god,” both of your laughters break the quiet of the room.

There’s a lull in the conversation, but it’s a comfortable silence. Steve just enjoys the comforting weight of your body on top of his as he soothingly rubs his hand up and down your arm. For a second, he thinks you’ve fallen asleep but you turn your head to look up at him. He can see how sleepy you are, eyelids half closed. You stare for a moment with a small content smile. Your hand reaches for his face, delicate fingers stroking his beard.

“I like this,” you mutter.

“Yeah?”

“Mhmmm,” you affirm. “Didn’t think you could get any sexier but wow” your eyes widen, emphasizing the last part.

Steve throws his head back, laughing at your comment. You giggle along with him, tucking yourself back closer into his side.

“Guess I’ll keep it then,” he muses.

Silence takes over again. Your fingers draw random shapes across his chest, careful of the bruise on his side. Gradually, your movements get slower until your hand rests above his heart.  

“You should get some sleep sweetheart,” Steve says, kissing the top of your head. He knows he should probably sleep too, but he doesn’t want to. He just wants to enjoy having you in his arms while he can.

“Noooooo,” you let out an adorable whine.  

Steve turns to his side, both of you now face to face. Looking into your eyes, he knows this is exactly where he wants to be. His hand tucks a stray hair behind your ear, thumb caressing your face.

“Wanna stay up with you,” you say, the sleepiness evident in your voice.

Steve glances towards the window, noticing the subtle change of the sky. The dark night beginning to fade away to early morning blues.

His throat feels dry when he looks back at you and says “I have to go soon.”

The pout on your face returns and he wishes he could take it back. You let out a sigh.

“What if you just stayed, right here in this bed and we just never leave?” you asked with a teasing smile.

Steve smirks at the thought, “very tempting.”

“Or,” you begin to suggest, “what if I just went with you?”

He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t given it a thought. He knows how much you want to see the world, but it shouldn’t be because you’re following a fugitive. He’s thought about asking the king for another favor, letting just one more person stay in Wakanda, so he can safely visit you more often. But you had your friends and family. He couldn’t be selfish and take you away from your life here. Above all else, he wanted to keep you safe. It was the reason for keeping your relationship a secret in the first place. He didn’t want you being associated with him in fear that you’d be used against him. He’s glad he kept you a secret, especially now that he became a part of the nation’s most wanted.

“I can’t ask that of you,” he says regretfully.

You look at him with sincerity, “I’d go anywhere with you, Steve.”

“I know,” he sighs, “but it’s too dangerous.”

You look at him sadly, before shying away from his stare. “I know.”

“Hey,” he coos softly. His finger bringing up your chin, getting you to look back at him. “Things will get better for us, I promise.”

You nod subtly, and he hopes you believe his words.

“I wish you didn’t have to leave,” you say, voice breaking toward the end. He can see the emotions swimming in your eyes.

“I wish I didn’t either.”

He leans in to meet your lips, hoping it’ll alleviate the pain in your heart. It damn near breaks him seeing you like this. He hates the torment he’s putting you through, but he was too selfish to actually let you go. He needed the hope you gave him. He needed you.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, wiping away a stray tear.

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for,” he reassures you. “Being away from you is hard for me too. Trust me sweetheart, there’s no place I’d rather be than here with you.”

“I know,” you say with a sad smile.

“I love you,” he states firmly, needing you to know that he means it more than anything.

“I love you too,” you respond with a small smile.

He bumps his nose against yours, before giving you another chaste kiss.

The morning light starts to fill the bedroom, signaling his time was almost up. He looks back at you, “Go to sleep, doll.”

You don’t protest this time. Instead, you pull yourself closer, tucking yourself into his embrace. He lays back, swallowing down the sudden emotion he feels. His hand comfortingly strokes down your back, lulling you to sleep. Steve waits for your breathing to even out, making sure you were sleeping before reluctantly leaving your grip.

He quietly gets dressed in his now clean suit that was left hanging on your desk chair. He’s in no rush to leave, taking his time putting his gear back on. He looks over at you and sees you clutching your pillow in place of him. Part of him wonders what the consequences would be if he just stayed.

As he pulls on his suit, Steve notices the off-white star slightly bent off the center of his chest. He rips the whole thing off and walks over to your desk, finding a sticky note and a pen. He writes a reminder of his love for you and a promise that he’ll come back soon. He leaves the note and star on your nightstand for you to find when you wake up.

Just before he leaves, he goes to you and leans down to place a lingering kiss on your forehead, careful not to wake you up. 

He leaves your apartment the same way he came in. The air is much colder. He can hear sounds of the early risers and the birds chirping as he makes his way back down the fire escape. Steve glances one last time at your apartment window. He regretfully leaves the comfort and safety of home, back to his reality of life in the shadows.

thank you for reading! hope you liked it 🤍 as always, reblogs and feedback are much appreciated !!

[groovesnjams]

“Higher” by Sun-EL Musician ft. Simmy

DV:

It’s been a few years now that I’ve been trying to find other artists in Sun-El Musician’s lane, unsuccessfully. Of course I have theories: the United States remains very poorly connected to culture, music included, if it’s coming from anywhere outside North America and Western Europe (add Latin America, Japan and South Korea if you’re part of those groups or seeking them out, though for the mainstream media they still mostly exist to be rediscovered as trends every few years.) The internet is designed to connect a world that defines “world” very narrowly; as Silicon Valley builds dividing walls around sections of it ever more aggressively, it feels important to acknowledge that the promise of global connectivity was never fully achieved, that it has always been constrained by infrastructure and greed and worse.

This is all just to say that when I try to find amapiano that sounds like Sun-El Musician, I’m partially moving in the dark: chasing glimpses of light that turn out to be shards of broken glass in a rabbit hole, turning up music that’s either much more intense (if often great in its own right) or much more laid-back (and seems to come from some kind of muzak-type service.) I’m blind to what I’m missing, and yet as far as I can tell there’s no one else in this particular lane. Which is, essentially, amapiano plus toplines - and plus some spectacular singers. Because without Simmy, "Higher” could almost be elevator music; it’s certainly gentle enough. But because of Simmy (and also when working with others: Azana, Nobuhle, and Sino Msolo come to mind) Sun-El Musician is structuring his version of amapiano like pop songs, building them as if they have verses and choruses, lending them a sense of purpose and sometimes even narrative that I haven’t been able to find elsewhere. Here, Simmy grants each repetition of the lyric warmth and weight, conjuring depth from the simple concept. “Higher” may not approach 2020′s spectacular “Ngihamba Nawe”, but it still goes places. And it still sounds gorgeous. Who else is following it? Hopefully I’ll figure that part out eventually.

MG:

I, too, spend a lot of my time on the internet searching for something I don’t know enough about and looking for it in places where it can’t quite be found. It’s not amapiano but it may as well be for all the hidden passageways and off ramps to nowhere. When this happens -- the frustration, I mean -- my first thought is always “Oh, it’s just like promised, the ease of search results at my fingertips has made me intellectually lazy and now I can’t think this problem through.” That’s flat out wrong, though. Finding the highly specific things that you (maybe you alone) are looking for has always been an enormous challenge and the stuff life is made of. The internet was supposed to lower the barrier to knowledge, but in practice that was never the case as Google went from kind of unusable to mailbox ad flier quite quickly without ever having a period of being even so useful as a book’s index. All that said, it’s still so much easier to find anything at all than it was when I was a high school freshman with no internet (home or school) and a TV allowance of 30 minutes a day. I have old diary entries about buying Dylan bootlegs at Tower Records in 1998 and in 2015 Columbia Records purged his earliest recordings from copyright and I listened to hours of him just tuning his guitar in a coffee shop without ever getting out of bed. The internet: not what I want it to be, ever, but still nothing I’d willingly give up, ever.

Believe it or not, this does tie into “Higher” because I think that kind of satisfied acceptance is at the heart of this song. Simmy and Sun-El Musician are a union of purpose and feeling, one that’s rarely this harmonious. Without ever revving up, much less soaring, “Higher” posits that things just keep getting better. There’s a mountain of songs that share this theme, but they all involve big chord changes, major keys, and a certain loudness. Not so here where Simmy is quiet, contemplative, and certain and Sun-El Musician offers a lightweight but substantial production. When you’re 25 and at a boozy midday brunch with your friends and you loudly announce that you’re on your way up, you are aligned with all the pop music before you that conceals effort with excess. “Higher” sounds like the real feeling, content and optimistic.

[pear-pies]

Placebo in Rock & Folk magazine - April 2003

Words by Jerome Soligny, photos by Carole Epinette

Wonky translation under the cut:

These three did it all. Shot with the QOTSAs and posed with Indo. They survived "Velvet Goldmine" and the Top Bab. They come back after the ordeal of the fourth album. Danger interview: “Jerome, what if you came out?” They ask our charming reporter.

"We do not regret anything"

Everything begins again with "Bulletproof Cupid", a punky instrument that pulls everything off. Then "English Summer Rein", mechanico-depressive spinning punctuated by twisted keyboards, and "Sleeping With Ghosts", the lament which advances while blistering during cooking, confirm the tone. Against all expectations, because you never know how will age the groups that the previous album installed at the Top, Placebo took over. And stuffed it in an iron glove. Further on, "The Bitter End" tumbles through yapping guitars which would stick to the hatches the thickest of the sailors. Be careful, Placebo is on the way out of being one. At the end of the record, Brian Molko, Stefan Olsdal and Steve Hewitt do not even run out of steam. The cows. They drop a "Centerfolds" which frolic like a cynical top under a shower of saving doubts. What augur still other perspectives.

The fourth album: a horror for all who have faced it. Often a stupid trap. Returning from the Gothic directly inherited from the glam of pageantry and from these hasty and harmful certainties which congest the face and the veins, Placebo publishes its first real great disc. Oh, not the marvel of wonders, not the album from the third millennium, but something very strong, compact, tenacious in listening, which proves that the future is indeed there, in front, where the light is most blinding. Calfeucée in their Parisian hotel (the Costes, of course), our three lads do not make the blow of the revelation, of the luminous questioning. Simply, they now think with their heads, a good plan most often Likewise, reality no longer frightens them, and it is probably she who is hiding behind this "Sleeping With Ghosts" which relates the sorrows only for the better. melt into hopes At the moment when rock brings us back to life and when we just want to ask them everything, the Placebo have decided to say everything. Not even in a hurry, they settle down on the couch, ready to talk like never before. Despite new batteries embedded in the carcass, the Panasonic barely a Brian Molko: Hey Jerome, you came to talk to us this time when you had not come to the previous album ...

Rock & Folk: Uh yes but I was there for the first two, that says a lot, right?

Brian Molko: Certainly, I also believe that over time, we finally appreciate the true nature of the problem: we were mainly criticized for the sound of the previous album, which I can understand but, paradoxically, it is the one that brought us to the Top.

R&F: Legitimately, we have the right to expect a lot from the people we love: while "Black Market Music" sounded a bit like a sequel, this new record is all about a renaissance.

Brian Molko: Actually, we were finally able to live a little. After having existed in a small bubble for a very long time, we forced ourselves to take an eight-month break. The album-tour rhythm put us on the sidelines: we no longer had normal contact with anything. We were losing ourselves. We have fully lived the old cliché which claims that we spend the first years of our life writing a first record and six months on the second. It turned out to be very true. We had to get back to the situation of the first album, see friends, go shopping, look at the buildings in our city.

R&F: So the freshness would come from there ...

Brian Molko: Yes, and it was essential spiritually, emotionally and physically.

Steve Hewitt: We had to be in tune with reality again.

Brian Molko: In fact, we find ourselves in a bit of the same state of mind as when we released "Without You I'm Nothing", although "Sleeping With Ghosts" is a lot less gloomy. The heroin has since stopped leaking. In fact, I feel like I've pulled myself out of what I consider my second teenage years, between twenty and thirty. I conquered the self-destruction, exorcised some demons, understood what had happened to me. I held on to what I had learned. As a human being, I am now able to continue living, to try to answer the big questions posed by existence.

R&F: Maybe that's why the melodies are needed this time. It took me four records to get a favorite Placebo track.

The whole group in chorus: Which one?

R&F: "Protect Me From What I Want", of course ...

Brian Molko: The most paradoxical is that this song dates from the end of the "Black Market Music" sessions. I was not married at the time, but I was trying to get out of a particularly vicious divorce.just started. Then we wait for the lyrics, which don't arrive, it's rather intriguing. We especially wanted to avoid the big Rican producer side, we needed someone who shakes us up a bit. Jim could do that because he comes from dance and his pedigree is impressive. We have all his records at home, Bjôrk, Massive Attack, Sneaker Pimps and especially DJ Shadow. It is believed that guitar rock can only evolve by incorporating new genres, this is the only way to remain a modern rock band. At home, we practically only listen to hip hop.

R&F: Still, he didn't betray you.

Brian Molko: No because he actually brought out our rock side, which I'm particularly proud of. In fact, because we always wanted to control everything, it was not easy to be forced, to do certain things backwards, to walk on the head. But in truth, that's what we wanted: yes, there was some tension in the studio but we all took advantage of it. The challenge is necessary and it is also valid for the public. We opened up and rediscovered ourselves.

Stefan Olsdal (emerging from his chair): We found ourselves in front of the mirror, at the foot of the wall: someone had to kick our ass.

Brian Molko: Jim was like, "Why are you doing this?" We would answer him: "Because we always do it like that!" He would say: "All the more reason not to do it."

Stefan Olsdal: On the first day, he messed up all the demos, changed the tones, the tempos ...

R&F: Like Brian Eno ...

Steve Hewitt: Yeah, but with a lot more compassion. Eno is a bit (silence) ... We don't really like being told our actions, but at the same time, we are still young, still absorbing. Jim knew how to preserve us while making a modern sound.

R&F: Modern and rock'n'roll at the same time, a characteristic which does not necessarily apply to all the young groups in The which recycle the past gently but are convinced to have found the virus of the AIDS.

Steve Hewitt: Placebo doesn't belong to any current, has nothing to do with fashion.

R&F: You always pose as outsiders.

Brian Molko: It's the only way to survive.

Steve Hewitt: These bands, like The Strokes, play the nostalgia card.

Stefan Olsdal: And what happens next? I would not like to be in their place.

Brian Molko: If you want good New York pop, you better listen to Blondie.

R&F: In 2003, 11 seems that you have abandoned all the androgynous paraphernalia, sexual ambiguity, glam references ...

Brian Molko: I think today everyone knows what there is to know. Our sexual inclinations haven't changed, and we still wear makeup. It is just more expensive and better applied. We are ourselves, in our music and in private. I went through my travelo period (in French in the interview - Editor's note), and I understood that being androgynous was not wearing skirts. It is a way of being on the spiritual plane. It is not an image but a state of mind.

Steve Hewitt: It's like being punk, it's an attitude.

Brian Molko: At the same time, I don't regret any of my eccentricities. I grew up in the spotlight and it all kind of makes me smile.

Stefan Olsdal: People still talk to us about certain outfits or positions, as if it still shocks them.

R&F: Yes, and particularly in France, a particularly homophobic country which bumps heartily on gay artists.

Brian Molko: And you, coincidentally, you still hang out with.

Stefan Olsdal: Jérôme, it's coming out time (laughs) ...

Brian Molko: All that has to change, that all of France becomes gay (laughs)!

R&F: "Protect Me From What I Want" precisely, here is a title heavy with meaning. What was the idea behind this song?

Brian Molko: For me, it's a study of the pathological need people have to copulate, the search for meaning in copulation. As if bachelors or monogamists were aliens. As if we were only one when we were two. The song is about the fact that one relationship has destroyed me but I can't help but look for another ... why do I keep coming back to this?

R&F: Wow, we're bathing in philosophy here!

Brian Molko: Yes and it's the same elsewhere in the record: in "Plasticine", I insist on the fact that you have to be yourself above all while asking myself all these questions. Why do we have to do a lot of forbidden things, bad or harmful?

R&F: It's therapy in public.

Brian Molko: At least I find some balance in it. These are not songs about compassion or self-pity. They came out like this because it was vital for me. I am in this privileged situation where I can express myself and the world hears me. Otherwise, I would be really frustrated and I would have suffered a lot more in the last fifteen years.

R&F: Music saved your life.

Brian Molko: Sure.

Steve Hewitt: Everyone: I think we can say that. Without Placebo, we would not be not even alive.

Brian Molko: Spitting it all out is not necessarily the right solution. There are things with which to live. In fact, I've always been afraid to go see a psychiatrist ...

R&F: Yet, listening to you speak earlier, you could have the feeling that Jim Abiss acted a bit like a shrink with you.

Brian Molko: That's right. You could say that.

R&F: At a time when Bush and Blair want to play World War III, what attitude do you adopt? What do you think of these Englishmen who left for Iraq to constitute a human shield?

Brian Molko: Let's say we stand together. We participated in the March for Peace on February 14th with Damon Albarn and 3D from Massive Attack. We were also surprised that so few groups mobilized, which increased our desire to participate tenfold.

R&F: Do you consider that it is the role of the artist to give voice in such circumstances?

Steve Hewitt: Yes, in the sense that we can help with general motivation.

Brian Molko: I'm very interested in seeing if Blair is going to let Bush bomb Iraq with the British present on the soil of the country. If he ever allows that, the consequences will be dire.

R&F: It will only be one more religious war, in the name of oil and money ...

Brian Molko: It seems absurd that we can still fight for that. And curiously, nobody speaks more, or almost, of Bin Laden. Wouldn't it all come from him, by chance, as a huge consequence of September 11? On the other hand, we have such a feeling that Bush wants to finish the job that daddy started. Its image is so bad that it needs at least one war to restore its image.

Steve Hewitt: And reinvigorate its dying economy.

R&F: The method is lamentable, deceitful. Like those employed by the recording industry which claims to be doing well by selling pop in damaged boxes to ignoramuses.

Brian Molko: The ability of this job to ingest people, bribe them and then spit them out is impressive. This is what happened here at Canal +.R&F: Business is the beast.

Brian Molko: All these pre-made artists are young and naff ...

Steve Hewitt: They'll all end up in a labor camp for ex-pop stars.

R&F: Warhol was talking about fifteen minute glory, we're brutally passed to fifteen seconds.

Brian Molko: We should have called them Karaoke idols from the start.

Steve Hewitt: And it only works because of the TV ...

R&F: Who washes the poor, helpless brains.

Steve Hewitt: You can tell how much people want to think less

R&F: And spend less. For many, music should be free: one in five thirteen-year-olds doesn't know that a disc doesn't have to be a computer-burnt puck. Some are flabbergasted when they see a cover for the first time.

Stefan Olsdal: And those who don't buy records put pressure on those who have them to pass them on at all costs, just long enough to copy them.

R&F: Exactly.

Brian Molko: That's why we blame Robbie Williams so much. Scooping 80 million pounds off EMI and then declaring that pirating music is a fantastic thing just makes him want to stick a chunk in his face.

R&F .: And then piracy is not a matter of environment. It's not a suburban thing. There are rich kids who find it normal to burn 80 CDs during their weekend and sometimes sell them to their friends ...

Brian Molko: What do these people believe? That we are there, the face in the stream with a syringe stuck in the arm singing "La Vie En Rose"? And who will pay for our children's school? Not them, anyway. Our mentality is quite different: we always want to buy records from people we love, from our friends. Personally, we are partly out of the woods, but it will be particularly difficult for new groups to make a living from music in five or ten years.

R&F: Come on, we're not going to leave each other on this, a little humor won't hurt anyone. If you were to be banned from any of these three things, which would you choose: making music, making money or making love?

Steve Hewitt (almost tit for tat): I would stop making money, without hesitation. It's because I love music and sex too much. And then, well, you have to choose.

Brian Molko (completely overwhelmed): Oh damn, that's not true. What a dilemma!

R&F: No Brian, that doesn't count, make an effort (laughs).

Brian Molko: Ah, I don't know. And then if. I would stop making money and get on well with someone super rich.

R&F: Or you would be pimp ...

Brian Molko: Yes, that's it. Good plan.

Stefan Olsdal: Stop making love does not mean to stop loving ...

Brian Molko (preparing his shot): And we can always masturbate (general laughter).

Stefan Olsdal: OK then, I would stop making love.

R&F: Okay, it will be written in black and white for all eternity.

Brian Molko: Will we live long enough to regret it? This is the real question.

*COLLECTED BY JEROME SOLIGNY

[Inset, Trash Palace]

Already present on the first album by Trash Palace which he had adorned with his presence one unhealthy recovery of "I Love You, Me No More "in duet with Asia Argento, Brian Molko is coming to re-stack. This time he cosigns directly "The Metric System " with Dimitri Trash Palace Tikovoi, an electro saw boosted to bleeps fundamentals available in two remix and its clip on an enhanced single recently published at Discograph. The result is particularly (d) amazing and sounds good logical, like of Placebo cyber.Placebo in  Rock & Folk magazine - April 2003

[tiptapricot]

bestie help... i can't sleep because i'm being plagued with visions of old gay people (bnt)... ik you've mentioned a few things about them in middle age in another hc post but i would bw delighted to hear any more thoughts if you had some 💖

Ohhh I can try!! I’m placing middle aged BnT post FtM since that’s an area I haven’t explored as much

Life after saving all of time and space is… strange. In a lot of ways it’s not that different, and in others it reaaaally is

One one hand, Bill and Ted still live in the same houses, they still go over to jam with each other every day, they still have their kids and their wives, but on the other, there’s stories of them and their family all over news sites and social media, Wyld Stallyns has rocketed back to worldwide success, and they both have this creeping feeling that maybe their marriage issues weren’t meant to be fixed at all….

Being in the cosmic nexus of a destiny-achieving, existence-saving event with your best friend kind of changes your perspective on a lot of stuff

The paparazzi mellow out after a year or so, but they still have people coming up to ask for autographs and to give thank yous, and news stories are still running mundane updates on them at the end of reports, and all the stores they’re regulars at give them discounted drinks, and it’s strange

The world as a whole has had a shift, too, a good one

Reports after the fact described the event as time and space being twisted and punctured and stretched like putty or rubber, and though most things ended up back to normal, there were still after effects, fingerprints and bumps left in the wake of a near disaster

For a few weeks after The Song That United The World was played, the whole planet was thrumming with leftover energy. It was the most creative humanity had ever been. Artists, singers, painters, writers, sculptors, architects, actors, mathematicians, everyone was spurred on by a bone deep inspiration, and the world created

People became kinder to each other too, gentler and more open and caring, sensors found that the global temperature had miraculously dropped to safe levels, nature started growing back at a faster more vivacious rate, and a scientist discovered that Wyld Stallyns’ music contained an inherent connection to the cosmic vortex, and as a result, made a perfect and sustainable source of green energy when played

So much happened, and yet Bill and Ted… stayed Bill and Ted

They don’t have the same weight and hopelessness as before, they have a stable music career and their kids have been helping produce all the songs they came up with in the Great Creativity Boom, and they don’t feel any different, but that’s the thing

The story that they would unite the world always seemed so distant, and then it became reality in the course of a few days. Even a year after the fact, it’s still a lot to take in

That and… the fact that Bill and Ted can’t stop looking at each other differently

They keep having moments, while hanging out in the garage, where they’ll just find themselves staring at each other, hip to hip on the couch, and there’s something different there than there was before. Or maybe they just didn’t notice it until now

Bill talks to Jo about it, and Ted does the same with Liz. They’re hesitant, because after working to hard to stay together, wouldn’t it make that pointless if they ended things now?

It’s a lot of late night talks, a lot of hugs and snuggling

Jo and Bill have talked about similar stuff before, about Bill’s long standing feelings for Ted, and about Jo’s attraction to women, but they still thought staying in a relationship would be best. But now that Bill’s been seeing how Ted looks at him, he realizes maybe it’s not after all

It’s all new for Ted though, and it’s kind of difficult for him to wrap his head around. Liz sits on the back porch with him and they share drinks and watch the stars and just… talk. Realizing you’re in love is a big thing after all

The divorces are easier than any of them expect, and it’s like a weight is removed from their shoulders afterwards, a new sense of freedom

They decide to have Jo move in with Liz and Ted with Bill, a similar set up to what they did in their early 20s, and start moving their things over

In a lot of ways it does feel the same as moving out after graduation, only this time, when Ted brings his last box of stuff in, when it’s just him and Bill standing in the entryway sweaty and smiling, he takes a step forward, and takes Bill’s face in his hands, and traces a thumb over his cheek as Bill smiles and closes his eyes, and leans in to kiss him

It’s not a movie moment, nothing dramatic and huge, and yet it is the sweetest kiss Ted “Theodore” Logan has ever had

It’s easy to go back to living with each other again, they work together just as well as they always have, only now there’s a new kind of domesticity seeping into the cracks of their life

Casual touches, slow dances in the kitchen and living room, the sleepy weight of the other person’s body against theirs in bed

Bill asks about marriage one night, when it’s just them, when only Ted will feel his breath and the way he shifts to be closer to his chest, and Ted says, “Yeah… I’d like that.”

They don’t invite too many people. They keep it close family and friends. Missy takes Bill suit shopping and Liz helps Ted pick out a dress, and Billie and Thea perform a fantastic song at the reception

The next day they wake up to the news that three thought to be extinct species have been rediscovered

Bill likes to kiss Ted’s wedding ring, and Ted uses the word husband like he’ll never get another chance, and they are so damn happy

Sometimes it can still be rough. They still have sleepless nights where their heads are full of thoughts of other timelines and flashing visions of distant galaxies and the infinite tangle of time, but they have each other when that happens

They can talk about what they see, about the changes. Bill can squeeze Ted’s hand and snuggle into his neck, and they don’t have to think about prison yards or their own cosmic importance

Through it all, with each other they are allowed to be Bill and Ted, nothing else, and that’s the greatest destiny either of them could ask for

Headcanons masterpost

[monotonous-minutia]

Brief history of Les contes d’Hoffmann edits (the short short version) + Summaries!

Kudos to anyone who gets through all of this, but I recommend at least reading the first part if you plan on watching this opera next week for Operablr Pride Month. It will help you find/choose a version to watch!

For the differences in the summaries to make sense, we need a little background info.

The very very very short version of why there are so many edits:

Offenbach died before he could finish the score. Most of the prologue, Olympia, and Antonia acts were done; the Giulietta act and the Epilogue were not, which is why those are the parts that vary the most across the different edits. Additionally, much of the material that varies belongs to Nicklausse/the Muse. The reason for this is that the mezzo in this role cancelled last minute, and the replacement didn’t have time to learn the entire role before the performance, so the Muse monologues, Violin Aria, and much of Nicklausse’s dialogue were cut; the ending monologue was replaced with spoken speech. Since the premiere—which is another story for another time—several conductors, directors, and music scholars have attempted to reconstruct the opera based on Offenbach’s drafts and notes, and in some cases their personal preferences. Additional shoutout to good old Guiraud, who finished a lot of the orchestration that Offenbach didn’t get to, which is some of the only stuff to survive most edits.

Also, I should say: apparently in addition to there being no definitive edition of this opera, there’s no definitive history either. I swear every book/article I read about it says something different so this is the best I could do. So if there are any inaccuracies, apologies in advance.

Now there are a lot of people that have tinkered with this opera, but there are a few main ones that compiled what are dubbed “critical editions,” because they did a bunch of research and a lot of people end up using edits based on what they did.

In chronological order, those critical edits are:

Choudens: The shortest version, and one most people are familiar with.

Oeser (1): Longer with a lot of missing material added, also fairly well-known.

Oeser (2): Even longer with a ton of new stuff added! (My personal fave but pretty rare)

Kaye/Keck: Uses some of the material rediscovered by Oeser, but also adds a ton of other stuff, particularly in the Giulietta act, as well as re-orchestrating significant portions. Not many of these either.

and apparently there’s another one called “OG Offenbach” or something like that but as far as I can tell there haven’t been any recordings of it or much about what it looks like, but from what I gather it’s fairly similar to that last one, with some adjustments based on yet more new-old material discovered.

And, of course, every single production I’ve ever seen/heard puts its own spin on things! So while most have the general formats as seen below, literally no two are exactly alike.

A bit more detail on the versions:

Choudens

This is one of the first people to edit the material after it was butchered for the world premiere. It’s the short version of the opera with the most material missing, though to be fair he did improve upon what it had been before. His is (unfortunately) the edit most people are familiar with:

Prologue: Chorus of Spirits of wine and beer. Lindorf monologues about stealing Stella from Hoffmann. Students party in the tavern and ask Hoffmann to tell a stoy; he sings the famous "Ballad of Klein-Zach." When taunted by Lindorf about his love life, Hoffmann decides to tell everyone the tales of his Three Great Loves. Act I: Olympia. Hoffmann is in love with the “daughter” of Spalanzani, his science professor, unaware that she is a robot. Coppélius sells Hoffmann magic glasses that make him believe Olympia is a real human, despite Nicklausse's insistence that she is a mechanical doll. Olympia is presented to the guests at her coming-out party; they marvel over her. Hoffmann serenades her and dances with her, but Coppélius arrives to take her apart, and Hoffmann realizes he’s been in love with a robot the whole time. Act II: Giulietta. Choudens put the Giluietta act second instead of Antonia. At a party, Nicklausse and Giulietta sing the famous Barcarolle; Hoffmann counters with an aria about how love is futile. Nicklausse tries to warn Hoffmann to be careful of Giulietta's lover, Schlémil, but Hoffmann of course does not listen. Dapertutto arrives and makes a deal with Giulietta to trick Hoffmann. Giulietta seduces Hoffmann and steals his reflection. When Hoffmann realizes his reflection is gone, we get the famous Septet (the only thing I’m grateful to Choudens for). Afterwards, Hoffmann kills Schlémil  to get the key to Giulietta’s room, but Giulietta leaves with Pitichinaccio instead. Act III: Antonia. The singer Antonia is sick and it’s her singing that is killing her. Hoffmann, who’s been looking for her for months after Antonia and her father moved specifically so he couldn’t find them, has finally found her. They promise to run away and get married, but before they can, Dr. Miracle forces Antonia to sing until she literally dies. Epilogue: Hoffmann has finished his stories. Nicklausse makes the connection that all three ladies are actually metaphors for the real-life Stella. Hoffmann yells at him. Stella walks in on a drunk Hoffmann who mistakes her for his lovers; she leaves in a huff with Lindorf. Nicklausse reveals his identity as the Muse (in spoken dialogue) and asks for Hoffmann’s devotion. Hoffmann gets a reprise of his Giulietta act aria, but this time committing himself to the Muse and his art.

Oeser (1)

This one, which is also very common, isn’t Oeser’s *actual* edit but combines his with the Choudens one, so it has a lot more material than the previous one, but not as much as the longer Oeser version.

Prologue: Very similar to Choudens except we get the Muse��s opening monologue explaining their motivations (winning Hoffmann and saving him from Stella) before the rest of the action. Act I: Olympia. Pretty much the same but sometimes Nicklausse gets a different aria. Act II: Antonia (which here comes before Giulietta). Almost exactly the same as Choudens’, but Nicklausse gets to sing a lovely aria about love and art which is really a love song for Hoffmann. Act III: Giulietta. Pretty much the same, except it’s the third act instead of the second act. Epilogue: Starts pretty much the same, until the Hoffmann/Stella confrontation which is now put to music. Then we get a reprise of Klein-Zach followed by the drinking chorus, after which the Muse reappears. The opera ends with the Muse’s closing monologue and chorus about how Hoffmann’s suffering will make him a greater artist.

Oeser (2)

Pretty similar to the short Oeser version described above. The most dramatic changes are really just in the Giulietta act, though there’s some extra material in Olympia too (that one waltzy duet I’m always gushing about) and sometimes more sung material for the Muse in the epilogue as well. Oeser’s longer Giluietta act: Has the same basic plot points, except instead of going right from Dapertutto making the deal with Giulietta to Giulietta seducing Hoffmann, we get a gambling scene where Giulietta serenades the guests as they play cards, during which each of the characters gets a little moment. Then Giulietta leaves and Hoffmann follows her, and she sings sadly about her dismal situation which leads into her seduction of Hoffmann, and the rest of the act ends pretty much the same, except sometimes there’s no Septet.

Now, on to possibly the wildest of them all:

Kaye/Kecke

This one is rare; there’s only a few recordings that even attempt it, and very few get it to the letter of what these two scholars compiled. Once again, most of the changes are in the Giulietta act and Epilogue; the only real changes in the previous acts are in the orchestration of some parts. Kaye Giulietta Act: Starts pretty much the same, with the Barcarolle and Hoffmann’s derisive aria, and Dapertutto making the deal with Giulietta. We get a gambling scene here too, but it’s not as long or dramatic and Giulietta gets a different aria. Hoffmann kills Schlémil for the same reasons, but it happens before Giulietta steals his reflection; essentially she’s bribing him before she pretends to fall in love with him. Hoffmann gets in trouble for killing Schlémil, and in a fit of rage tries to kill Giulietta, but kills Pitichinaccio instead. Kaye Epilogue: It starts with a chorus for the students kinda trying to talk Hoffmann down from his crazy stories. We get the same Nicklausse-Hoffmann confrontation, and the one with Stella, and a reprise of Klein-Zach, but in addition to the drinking chorus repeating we get a kind of ominous reprise of the “Glou! Glou!” chorus from the prologue, after which the Muse enters and we get the same ending monologue but it’s got some extra pieces.

So the short short version ended up pretty long huh? Anyway, I hope it's helpful!

If you want more detailed summaries to follow along with when you watch the opera, see below!

More detailed summaries!

Choudens

Choudens is one of the the first critical edits of the opera and, despite the fact that it’s been discredited multiple times, is still inexplicably used a lot and is what a lot of people think of when they think of this opera.

Prologue We open in Luther's Tavern. A chorus of the Spirits of Wine and Beer sing out. The Councilor Lindorf comes in and bribes Andrès, a tavern employee, into giving him a letter from Stella, an actress, that’s addressed to Hoffmann. Lindorf reads the letter, in which Stella has included the key to her room and invites Hoffmann to join her after her performance that evening. Lindorf keeps the letter and key for himself. A group of students arrive in the tavern and sing a rousing drinking chorus. After a bit they notice Hoffmann isn’t there yet and demand to know where he is. Luther, the tavern's owner, tells them Hoffmann is on his way, along with his friend Nicklausse. The pair enter and take a seat. Hoffmann is melancholy and brooding, which prompts the students to ask him for a jovial song to lighten the mood. Hoffmann then sings the famous “Ballad of Klein-Zach.” But in the middle of the song, he gets distracted by memories of Stella. The students bring him back to reality and he finishes the song, but the talk of love brings it up as a topic of conversation. Hoffmann declares “The devil take me if I were ever to fall in love!” At this point Lindorf makes his presence known, sneering at Hoffmann. The two of them then get into a battle of words, during which Hoffmann inadvertently admits that he is, in fact, in love with someone. Curious, the students ask him for the story of his love. Hoffmann declares that he has had not one but three mistresses: an artist, a young girl, and a courtesan. He then begins to tell his tales. Act I: Olympia. Hoffmann goes to visit his science professor, Spalanzani, to declare his devotion to science. Spalanzani commends him, then leaves to prepare for his “daughter” Olympia’s coming-out party. Hoffmann admits his love for Olympia and gazes at her through a window. Nicklausse arrives and gently teases him about his love, singing a song about a mechanical doll and bird. Hoffmann brushes him off. Coppélius, an eccentric saleman, enters and displays his various wares, including a variety of contraptions but primarily eyes. He manages to get Hoffmann interested in a pair of magical glasses, which Hoffmann then purchases and wears for the remainder of the act. Spalanzani returns and gets into an argument with Coppélius about Olympia; Coppélius wants a share since she has his eyes. Spalanzani decides to pay Coppélius with a check that he mentions in an aside he knows will bounce. Coppélius tells Spalanzani that he should get Hoffmann to marry Olympia as a joke. Spalanzani agrees, and Coppélius leaves. Cochenille, Spalazani's assistant, announces the arrival of the guests. A chorus of people arrive, admiring Spalanzani’s skills as a host. Spalanzani introduces Olympia to the guests, who marvel over her perfection. Olympia sings a charming songs about birds and love. Hoffmann's new glasses make him see Olympia as a real person rather than the robot she actually is, and he is captivated. After Olympia’s song, the guests leave to go to dinner, but Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to stay behind with Olympia. Hoffmann professes his love for Olympia, who responds only with “Yes” when Hoffmann touches her shoulder (he doesn’t know he’s actually triggering a button that makes her say that word). When he goes to embrace her, Olympia runs off. Nicklausse returns, telling Hoffmann to be wary, because everything is not as it seems; Hoffmann brushes him off yet again. They leave to join the other guests. Coppélius enters, furious with Spalanzani for giving him a faulty check. He swears revenge and runs off. The guests return for dancing. Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to dance with Olympia. During the dance, Olympia goes haywire and rushes offstage, pursued by Cochenille. In the process, Hoffmann’s glasses are broken. Cochenille rushes back onstage, crying out that Coppélius has Olympia; Spalanzani rushes to her aid, only to find Coppélius with the robot in pieces. They return holding parts of the broken doll, and Hoffmann, his magical glasses now broken, finally sees Olympia for what she truly is and is

humiliated. Act II: Giulietta (Choudens is the only edit that has Giulietta second instead of third) Venice. The courtesan Giulietta is having a party of sorts. She and Nicklausse sing the famous Barcarolle. Afterwards Hoffmann mocks them with a song of his own condemning love and romance. Schlémil, who is in love with Giulietta, enters and makes it clear he is suspicious of Hoffmann when Giulietta introduces him. Giulietta then leads her guests out to play cards. Hoffmann is about to follow when Nicklausse takes him aside, warning him against Giulietta and asking him to leave. Hoffmann says there’s no way he could fall for someone like Giulietta, and if he does, may the devil take him! (He really needs to stop saying that.) After Hoffmann and Nicklausse leave to play cards with the others, the Captain Dapertutto comes in, announcing he plans to thwart Hoffmann with the help of Giulietta. He attracts the courtesan with a diamond (and a deceptively pretty aria) and tells her she needs to steal Hoffmann’s reflection for him. Giulietta agrees to do so in exchange for the diamond. Hoffmann returns and Dapertutto leaves. Giulietta seduces Hoffmann, who serenades her with a fairly famous aria that gets reprised later for a different reason (keep an eye out for that). Knowing she has him on the hook, Giulietta demands his fidelity—and his reflection. Helpless against her charms, Hoffmann agrees to both. Schlémil, Dapertutto, and Nicklausse return. Giulietta tells Hoffmann that Schlémil has the key to her room, and if Hoffmann can retrieve it, she’ll meet him there later. Dapertutto taunts Hoffmann, who looks in a mirror to find that his reflection is gone. Nicklausse begs him to leave but Hoffmann refuses, still clinging to the hope that Giulietta actually loves him. However she only mocks him, and he despairs, starting everyone off in the famous Septet (or "Sextet and Chorus"). Giulietta leads everyone back to the party, except Schlémil, who challenges Hoffmann to a duel. Hoffmann kills Schlémil and takes the key. He rushes to find Giulietta, only to see her riding off in a gondola with her real lover Piticchinaccio, both of whom are laughing at his expense. Nicklausse tells Hoffmann the police are coming to look for Schlémil’s murderer, and finally drags him away. Act III: Antonia Crespel’s house. Antonia laments the death of her mother and her separation from her lover, Hoffmann. Her father, Crespel, enters and reminds her not to sing, lest she die from it like her mother did. Antonia promises him she won’t sing anymore and leaves sadly. Crespel asks his servant Frantz to watch the door and make sure no one comes in. Frantz, who is partially deaf, only half-understands him. Crespel expresses frustration at this and leaves. Frantz remarks in a fun little number that if only he had some talents—like singing or dancing—maybe his boss would appreciate him more. Hoffmann enters with Nicklausse; they have been travelling for weeks looking for Antonia after she moved away without a word. Hoffmann asks Frantz to find Antonia for him. When the servant leaves to do so, Hoffmann begins to sing a song that he and Antonia wrote. Antonia hears him and rushes to meet him; Nicklausse exits quietly. Hoffmann and Antonia rejoice over their reunion and pledge to get married. Hoffmann expresses concern over Antonia’s insistence to sing despite her ill health. Antonia convinces him to sing their song together, which they do. Afterwards Antonia becomes tired. Before Hoffmann can react, they hear Crespel coming. Antonia flees, but Hoffmann remains, hiding so he can eavesdrop on Crespel. Frantz returns and tells Crespel that Dr. Miracle is here, having misunderstood Crespel’s command to not let anyone in. Dr. Miracle enters, asking to see Antonia. Crespel refuses and tells him to leave, saying that his faulty medicine is what killed Antonia's mother. Dr. Miracle, however, remains, and pantomimes an interaction with Antonia where he checks her pulse and orders her to sing. Offstage, Antonia responds with a scale. Dr. Miracle tells Crespel that

Antonia is dangerously ill, and gives him

two vials of medicine that he says will cure her. Crespel refuses them, calling the doctor a murderer and chasing him out. Hoffmann comes out of hiding, stunned by this encounter. Antonia returns and asks Hoffmann what her father said, thinking that he and Hoffmann had been talking this entire time. Hoffmann, disturbed by what he’s seen and heard, makes Antonia promise not to sing. She agrees, but when Hoffmann leaves (promising to return for her later) she laments that Hoffmann is now on her father’s side about her singing. Dr. Miracle returns as a disembodied voice, taunting Antonia. Why should she give up singing just because her father and Hoffmann tell her to? Doesn’t she want to be a great singer like her mother? When Antonia rebuffs him, Dr. Miracle calls on the spirit of Antonia’s dead mother, who leads Antonia in a frantic refrain. Antonia, exhausted by the singing, collapses. Crespel rushes in to see his daughter dying on the floor. She tells him she sees her mother, then sings a part of her and Hoffmann’s song, before dying in her father’s arms. Hoffmann rushes in just in time to see Dr. Miracle pronounce Antonia dead. Epilogue Back at the tavern, Hoffmann finishes his tales. Offstage, cheers and applause are heard for Stella as her performance comes to an end. Nicklausse announces a revelation—all of Hoffmann’s lovers in his stories are just manifestations of his real love for a single woman, Stella. Furious, Hoffmann shouts Nicklausse down, then deliriously leads a reprise of the drinking chorus. Stella enters looking for Hoffmann, only to find him dead drunk. He mistakes her for his three fictional loves, then rejects her. Offended, Stella leaves with Lindorf. The students all leave and Hoffmann is alone with Nicklausse, who reveals himself to be the Muse of Poetry. The Muse declares her devotion to Hoffmann and asks for his in return. Hoffmann, hearing this, repeats his song from the Giulietta act, this time declaring his love for the Muse and promising to return to his art.

Oeser (1)

The short Oeser version is the other Most Commonly Seen edit (I think it’s about a tie). It's similar to the Choudens edit in many ways, with some significant additions, which are in blue below: Prologue We open in Luther's Tavern. A chorus of the Spirits of Wine and Beer sing out. The Muse emerges from a barrel, declaring her love for Hoffmann and determination to rid him of Stella, the “siren” who has stolen his attention (and affection). She tells the audience that she will disguise herself as Nicklausse, Hoffmann’s friend, in order to try one last time to win him tonight. The Councilor Lindorf comes in and bribes Andrès, a tavern employee, into giving him a letter from Stella, an actress, that’s addressed to Hoffmann. Lindorf reads the letter, in which Stella has included the key to her room and invites Hoffmann to join her after her performance that evening. Lindorf keeps the letter and key for himself. A group of students arrive in the tavern and sing a rousing drinking chorus. After a bit they notice Hoffmann isn’t there yet and demand to know where he is. Luther, the tavern's owner, tells them Hoffmann is on his way, along with Nicklausse. The pair enter and take a seat. Hoffmann is melancholy and brooding, which prompts the students to ask him for a jovial song to lighten the mood. Hoffmann then sings the famous “Ballad of Klein-Zach.” But in the middle of the song, he gets distracted by memories of Stella. The students bring him back to reality and he finishes the sing, but the talk of love brings it up as a topic of conversation. Hoffmann declares “The devil take me if I were ever to fall in love!” At this point Lindorf makes his presence known, sneering at Hoffmann. The two of them then get into a battle of words, during which Hoffmann inadvertently admits that he is, in fact, in love with someone. Curious, the students ask him for the story of his love. Hoffmann declares that he has had not one but three mistresses: an artist, a young girl, and a courtesan. He then begins to tell his tales. Act I: Olympia Hoffmann goes to visit his science professor, Spalanzani, to declare his devotion to science. Spalanzani commends him, then leaves to prepare for his “daughter” Olympia’s coming-out party. Hoffmann admits his love for Olympia and gazes at her through a window. Nicklausse arrives and gently teases him about his love, singing a song about a mechanical doll and bird (sometimes it’s changed to a more mocking song specifically referencing Olympia). Hoffmann brushes him off. Coppélius, an eccentric salesman, enters and attempts to sell Hoffmann and Nicklausse a variety or contraptions; Hoffmann and Nicklausse bicker over whether or not to engage with the salesman. Coppélius manages to get Hoffmann interested in a pair of magical glasses, which Hoffmann then purchases and wears for the remainder of the act. Spalanzani returns and gets into an argument with Coppélius about Olympia; Coppélius wants a share since she has his eyes. Spalanzani decides to pay Coppélius with a check that he mentions in an aside he knows will bounce. Coppélius tells Spalanzani that he should get Hoffmann to marry Olympia as a joke. Spalanzani agrees, and Coppélius leaves. Cochenille, Spalanzani's assistant, announces the arrival of the guests. A chorus of people arrive, admiring Spalanzani’s skills as a host. Spalanzani introduces Olympia to the guests, who marvel over her perfection. Olympia sings a charming songs about birds and love. Hoffmann's new glasses make him see Olympia as a real person rather than the robot she actually is, and he is captivated. After Olympia’s song, the guests leave to go to dinner, but Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to stay behind with Olympia. Hoffmann professes his love for Olympia, who responds only with “Yes” when Hoffmann touches her shoulder (he doesn’t know he’s actually triggering a button that makes her say that word). When he goes to embrace her, Olympia runs off. Nicklausse returns, telling Hoffmann to be wary, because everything is not as it seems; Hoffmann brushes him off yet again. They leave to

join the other guests. Coppélius enters, furious with Spalanzani for giving him a faulty check. He swears revenge and runs off. The guests return for dancing. Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to dance with Olympia. During the dance, Olympia goes haywire and rushes offstage, pursued by Cochenille. In the process, Hoffmann’s glasses are broken. Cochenille rushes back onstage, crying out that Coppélius has Olympia; Spalanzani rushes to her aid, only to find Coppélius with the robot in pieces. They return holding parts of the broken doll, and Hoffmann, his magical glasses now broken, finally sees Olympia for who she truly is and is humiliated. Act II: Antonia (When Oeser made his edit, he rearranged the acts to their original order, placing Antonia before Giulietta.) Crespel’s house. Antonia laments the death of her mother and her separation from her lover, Hoffmann. Her father, Crespel, enters and reminds her not to sing, lest she die from it like her mother did. Antonia promises him she won’t sing anymore and leaves sadly. Crespel asks his servant Frantz to watch the door and make sure no one comes in. Frantz, who is partially deaf, only half-understands him. Crespel expresses frustration at this and leaves. Frantz remarks in a fun little number that if only he had some talents—like singing or dancing—maybe his boss would appreciate him more. Hoffmann enters with Nicklausse; they have been travelling for weeks looking for Antonia after she moved away without a word. Hoffmann asks Frantz to go find Antonia for him. While Hoffmann expresses his joy over being reunited with Antonia, Nicklausse tries to temper his excitement with a reality check, which Hoffmann brushes off (he does this a lot). Nicklausse then sings a lovely song about the power of art and love (which is really a love song for Hoffmann), but once again Hoffmann ignores him. Hoffmann begins to sing a song that he and Antonia wrote. Antonia hears him and rushes to meet him; Nicklausse exits quietly. Hoffmann and Antonia rejoice over their reunion and pledge to get married. Hoffmann expresses concern over Antonia’s insistence to sing despite her ill health. Antonia convinces him to sing their song together, which they do. Afterwards Antonia becomes tired. Before Hoffmann can react, they hear Crespel coming. Antonia flees, but Hoffmann remains, hiding so he can eavesdrop on Crespel. Frantz returns and tells Crespel that Dr. Miracle is here, having misunderstood Crespel’s command to not let anyone in. Dr. Miracle enters, asking to see Antonia. Crespel refuses and tells him to leave, saying that his faulty medicine is what killed Antonia's mother. Dr. Miracle, however, remains, and pantomimes an interaction with Antonia where he checks her pulse and orders her to sing. Offstage, Antonia responds with a scale. Dr. Miracle tells Crespel that Antonia is dangerously ill, and gives him two vials of medicine that he says will cure her. Crespel refuses them, calling the doctor a murderer and chasing him out. Hoffmann comes out of hiding, stunned by this encounter. Antonia returns and asks Hoffmann what her father said, thinking that he and Hoffmann had been talking this entire time. Hoffmann, disturbed by what he’s seen and heard, makes Antonia promise not to sing. She agrees, but when Hoffmann leaves (promising to return for her later) she laments that Hoffmann is now on her father’s side about her singing. Dr. Miracle returns as a disembodied voice, taunting Antonia. Why should she give up singing just because her father and Hoffmann tell her to? Doesn’t she want to be a great singer like her mother? When Antonia rebuffs him, Dr. Miracle calls on the spirit of Antonia’s dead mother, who leads Antonia in a frantic refrain. Antonia, exhausted by the singing, collapses. Crespel rushes in to see his daughter dying on the floor. She tells him she sees her mother, then sings a part of her and Hoffmann’s song, before dying in her father’s arms. Hoffmann rushes in just in time to see Dr. Miracle pronounce Antonia dead. Act III: Giulietta Venice. The courtesan Giulietta is having a

party of sorts. She and Nicklausse sing the famous Barcarolle. Afterwards Hoffmann mocks them with a song of his own condemning love and romance. Schlémil, who is in love with Giulietta, enters and makes it clear he is suspicious of Hoffmann when Giulietta introduces him. Giulietta then leads her guests out to play cards. Hoffmann is about to follow when Nicklausse takes him aside, warning him against Giulietta and asking him to leave. Hoffmann says there’s no way he could fall for someone like Giulietta, and if he does, may the devil take him! (He really needs to stop saying that.) After Hoffmann and Nicklausse leave to play cards with the others, the Captain Dapertutto comes in, announcing he plans to thwart Hoffmann with the help of Giulietta. He attracts the courtesan with a diamond (and a deceptively pretty aria) and tells her she needs to steal Hoffmann’s reflection for him. Giulietta agrees to do so in exchange for the diamond. Hoffmann returns and Dapertutto leaves. Giulietta seduces Hoffmann, who serenades her with a fairly famous aria. Knowing she has him on the hook, Giulietta demands his fidelity—and his reflection. Helpless against her charms, Hoffmann agrees to both. Schlémil, Dapertutto, and Nicklausse return. Giulietta tells Hoffmann that Schlémil has the key to her room, and if Hoffmann can retrieve it, she’ll meet him there later. Dapertutto taunts Hoffmann, who looks in a mirror to find that his reflection is gone. Nicklausse begs him to leave but Hoffmann refuses, still clinging to the hope that Giulietta actually loves him. However she only mocks him, and he despairs, starting everyone off in the famous Septet (or Sextet and Chorus). Giulietta leads everyone back to the party, except Schlémil, who challenges Hoffmann to a duel. Hoffmann kills Schlémil and takes the key. He rushes to find Giulietta, only to see her riding off in a gondola with her real lover Piticchinaccio, both of whom are laughing at his expense. Nicklausse tells Hoffmann the police are coming to look for Schlémil’s murderer, and finally drags him away. Epilogue Back at the tavern, Hoffmann finishes his tales. Offstage, cheers and applause are heard for Stella as her performance comes to an end. Nicklausse announces a revelation—all of Hoffmann’s lovers in his stories are just manifestations of his real love for a single woman, Stella. Furious, Hoffmann shouts Nicklausse down, then deliriously leads a reprise of the drinking chorus. Stella enters looking for Hoffmann. Nicklausse exits, telling Hoffmann it’s time for him to choose. Hoffmann drunkenly mistakes Stella for his three fictional loves, then rejects her. Offended, Stella leaves with Lindorf. Hoffmann begins to sing his Klein-Zach song before falling in despair. The students exit the tavern, singing their song once again and leaving Hoffmann alone. Nicklausse returns and reveals his identity as the Muse, serenading Hoffmann with a comforting refrain: love makes a man great, but tears make him greater still—his suffering is not in vain, but will make him an even greater artist.

Oeser (2)

The long Oeser version (my personal favorite) follows the short one fairly closely; most of the major revisions are in the Giulietta act. This one is pretty rare—I’ve only found one video (which is a terrible production unfortunately) and one audio recording (which is the greatest audio recording of this opera that currently exists). New material in green text:

Prologue We open in Luther's Tavern. A chorus of the Spirits of Wine and Beer sing out. The Muse emerges from a barrel, declaring her love for Hoffmann and determination to rid him of Stella, the “siren” who has stolen his attention (and affection). She tells the audience that she will disguise herself as Nicklausse, Hoffmann’s friend, in order to try one last time to win him tonight. The Councilor Lindorf comes in and bribes Andrès, a tavern employee, into giving him a letter from Stella, an actress, that’s addressed to Hoffmann. Lindorf reads the letter, in which Stella has included the key to her room and invites Hoffmann to join her after her performance that evening. Lindorf keeps the letter and key for himself. A group of students arrive in the tavern and sing a rousing drinking chorus. After a bit they notice Hoffmann isn’t there yet and demand to know where he is. Luther, the tavern's owner, tells them Hoffmann is on his way, along with Nicklausse. The pair enter and take a seat. Hoffmann is melancholy and brooding, which prompts the students to ask him for a jovial song to lighten the mood. Hoffmann then sings the famous “Ballad of Klein-Zach.” But in the middle of the song, he gets distracted by memories of Stella. The students bring him back to reality and he finishes the sing, but the talk of love brings it up as a topic of conversation. Hoffmann declares “The devil take me if I were ever to fall in love!” At this point Lindorf makes his presence known, sneering at Hoffmann. The two of them then get into a battle of words, during which Hoffmann inadvertently admits that he is, in fact, in love with someone. Curious, the students ask him for the story of his love. Hoffmann declares that he has had not one but three mistresses: an artist, a young girl, and a courtesan. He then begins to tell his tales. Act I: Olympia Hoffmann goes to visit his science professor, Spalanzani, to declare his devotion to science. Spalanzani commends him, then leaves to prepare for his “daughter” Olympia’s coming-out party. Hoffmann admits his love for Olympia and gazes at her through a window. Nicklausse arrives and gently teases him about his love, singing a song about a mechanical doll and bird (sometimes it’s changed to a more mocking song specifically referencing Olympia). Hoffmann brushes him off. Coppélius, an eccentric salesman, enters and attempts to sell Hoffmann and Nicklausse a variety or contraptions; Hoffmann and Nicklausse bicker over whether or not to engage with the salesman. Coppélius manages to get Hoffmann interested in a pair of magical glasses, which Hoffmann then purchases and wears for the remainder of the act. Spalanzani returns and gets into an argument with Coppélius about Olympia; Coppélius wants a share since she has his eyes. Spalanzani decides to pay Coppélius with a check that he mentions in an aside he knows will bounce. Coppélius tells Spalanzani that he should get Hoffmann to marry Olympia as a joke. Spalanzani agrees, and Coppélius leaves. Cochenille, Spalanzani's assistant, announces the arrival of the guests. A chorus of people arrive, admiring Spalanzani’s skills as a host. Spalanzani introduces Olympia to the guests, who marvel over her perfection. Olympia sings a charming songs about birds and love. Hoffmann's new glasses make him see Olympia as a real person rather than the robot she actually is, and he is captivated. After Olympia’s song, the guests leave to go to dinner, but Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to stay behind with Olympia. Hoffmann professes his love for Olympia, who responds only with “Yes” when Hoffmann touches her shoulder (he doesn’t know he’s actually triggering a button that makes her say that word). When he goes to embrace her, Olympia runs off. Nicklausse returns, telling Hoffmann to be wary, because everything is not as it seems; Hoffmann brushes him off yet again. Then we get my beloved little waltzy duet where Nicklausse invites Hoffmann back to the party and Hoffmann denounces cynics who disbelieve the power of love. They leave to join the other guests. Coppélius

enters, furious with Spalanzani for giving him a faulty check. He swears revenge and runs off. The guests return for dancing. Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to dance with Olympia. During the dance, Olympia goes haywire and rushes offstage, pursued by Cochenille. In the process, Hoffmann’s glasses are broken. Cochenille rushes back onstage, crying out that Coppélius has Olympia; Spalanzani rushes to her aid, only to find Coppélius with the robot in pieces. They return holding parts of the broken doll, and Hoffmann, his magical glasses now broken, finally sees Olympia for who she truly is and is humiliated. Act II: Antonia Crespel’s house. Antonia laments the death of her mother and her separation from her lover, Hoffmann. Her father, Crespel, enters and reminds her not to sing, lest she die from it like her mother did. Antonia promises him she won’t sing anymore and leaves sadly. Crespel asks his servant Frantz to watch the door and make sure no one comes in. Frantz, who is partially deaf, only half-understands him. Crespel expresses frustration at this and leaves. Frantz remarks in a fun little number that if only he had some talents—like singing or dancing—maybe his boss would appreciate him more. Hoffmann enters with Nicklausse; they have been travelling for weeks looking for Antonia after she moved away without a word. Hoffmann asks Frantz to go find Antonia for him. While Hoffmann expresses his joy over being reunited with Antonia, Nicklausse tries to temper his excitement with a reality check, which Hoffmann brushes off (he does this a lot). Nicklausse then sings a lovely song about the power of art and love (which is really a love song for Hoffmann), but once again Hoffmann ignores him. Hoffmann begins to sing a song that he and Antonia wrote. Antonia hears him and rushes to meet him; Nicklausse exits quietly. Hoffmann and Antonia rejoice over their reunion and pledge to get married. Hoffmann expresses concern over Antonia’s insistence to sing despite her ill health. Antonia convinces him to sing their song together, which they do. Afterwards Antonia becomes tired. Before Hoffmann can react, they hear Crespel coming. Antonia flees, but Hoffmann remains, hiding so he can eavesdrop on Crespel. Frantz returns and tells Crespel that Dr. Miracle is here, having misunderstood Crespel’s command to not let anyone in. Dr. Miracle enters, asking to see Antonia. Crespel refuses and tells him to leave, saying that his faulty medicine is what killed Antonia's mother. Dr. Miracle, however, remains, and pantomimes an interaction with Antonia where he checks her pulse and orders her to sing. Offstage, Antonia responds with a scale. Dr. Miracle tells Crespel that Antonia is dangerously ill, and gives him two vials of medicine that he says will cure her. Crespel refuses them, calling the doctor a murderer and chasing him out. Hoffmann comes out of hiding, stunned by this encounter. Antonia returns and asks Hoffmann what her father said, thinking that he and Hoffmann had been talking this entire time. Hoffmann, disturbed by what he’s seen and heard, makes Antonia promise not to sing. She agrees, but when Hoffmann leaves (promising to return for her later) she laments that Hoffmann is now on her father’s side about her singing. Dr. Miracle returns as a disembodied voice, taunting Antonia. Why should she give up singing just because her father and Hoffmann tell her to? Doesn’t she want to be a great singer like her mother? When Antonia rebuffs him, Dr. Miracle calls on the spirit of Antonia’s dead mother, who leads Antonia in a frantic refrain. Antonia, exhausted by the singing, collapses. Crespel rushes in to see his daughter dying on the floor. She tells him she sees her mother, then sings a part of her and Hoffmann’s song, before dying in her father’s arms. Hoffmann rushes in just in time to see Dr. Miracle pronounce Antonia dead. Act III: Giulietta Venice. The courtesan Giulietta is having a party of sorts. She and Nicklausse sing the famous Barcarolle. Afterwards Hoffmann mocks them with a song of his own condemning love and romance.

Schlémil, who is in love with Giulietta, enters and makes it clear he is suspicious of Hoffmann when Giulietta introduces him. Giulietta then leads her guests out to play cards. Hoffmann is about to follow when Nicklausse takes him aside, warning him against Giulietta and asking him to leave. Hoffmann says there’s no way he could fall for someone like Giulietta, and if he does, may the devil take him! (He really needs to stop saying that.) As if summoned, the Captain Dapertutto arrives and introduces himself, ominously revealing that he knows who Hoffmann is as well, and in general just acts creepy. Hoffmann and Nicklausse warily leave him behind and go to join the others playing cards. Once they’re gone, Dapertutto announces his plans to thwart Hoffmann with the help of Giulietta. He sings a diablical aria and attracts the courtesan with a diamond, and tells her she needs to steal Hoffmann’s reflection for him. Giulietta agrees to do so in exchange for the diamond. She and Dapertutto join the card players. Hoffmann is losing miserably, much to Nicklausse’s chagrin. Giulietta serenades the guests with a song about love, not-so-subtly aimed at Hoffmann. We get a pretty epic chorus as the game goes on. [Sometimes we also get and aria from Schlémil about having lost his shadow.] Giulietta leaves and Hoffmann follows her, giving Nicklausse his cards and asking him to finish the game for him. Nicklausse protests and tries to follow Hoffmann, but Dapertutto holds him back. Hoffmann joins Giulietta in her room. Giulietta despairs over her feeling of being trapped and suffering. Nicklausse comes in and tells Hoffmann to get ready to leave and that he’s coming back for him. He leaves, and Giulietta tells Hoffmann he should as well, but he refuses to leave her. Giulietta tells him to steal the key from Schlémil that he uses to lock her up at night, saying if he does so, she will devote herself to him. Hoffmann agrees to do so and sings his aria. Knowing she has him on the hook, Giulietta demands his fidelity—and his reflection. Helpless against her charms, Hoffmann agrees to both. Schlémil, Dapertutto, and Nicklausse return. Dapertutto taunts Hoffmann, who looks in a mirror to find that his reflection is gone. Nicklausse begs him to leave but Hoffmann refuses, still clinging to the hope that Giulietta actually loves him. However she only mocks him, and he despairs, starting everyone off in the famous Septet (or Sextet and Chorus) [sometimes the Septet is left out in longer Oeser edits]. Giulietta leads everyone back to the party, except Schlémil, who challenges Hoffmann to a duel. Hoffmann kills Schlémil and takes the key. He rushes to find Giulietta, only to see her riding off in a gondola with her real lover, Piticchinaccio, both of whom are laughing at his expense. Nicklausse tells Hoffmann the police are coming to look for Schlémil’s murderer, and finally drags him away. Epilogue Back at the tavern, Hoffmann finishes his tales. Offstage, cheers and applause are heard for Stella as her performance comes to an end. Nicklausse announces a revelation—all of Hoffmann’s lovers in his stories are just manifestations of his real love for a single woman, Stella. Furious, Hoffmann shouts Nicklausse down, then deliriously leads a reprise of the drinking chorus. Stella enters looking for Hoffmann. Nicklausse exits, telling Hoffmann it’s time for him to choose. Hoffmann drunkenly mistakes Stella for his three fictional loves, then rejects her. Offended, Stella leaves with Lindorf. Hoffmann begins to sing his Klein-Zach song before falling in despair. The students exit the tavern, singing their song once again and leaving Hoffmann alone. Nicklausse returns and reveals his identity as the Muse. She declares her love and devotion for Hoffmann and asks for his in return. She calls upon the Spirits of Wine and Beer, who she says have aided her in her efforts; they repeat their chorus and disperse. The Muse serenades Hoffmann with a comforting refrain: love makes a man great, but tears make him greater still—his suffering is not in vain, but

will make him an even greater

artist.

Kaye/Kecke

the Kaye/Kecke version is the most recent critical edition and hailed by many as the most definitive (aside from that “OG Offenbach” one I can’t find anything about). There are actually very few “true” Kaye productions out there, but a few that attempt it. A lot of the changes are just in the orchestration and, in the spoken-dialogue version, a lot of dialogue; the vast majority of the plot and action stay the same. The big differences are in the Giulietta act. Again, I’ll use some new-color text (orange) to indicate differences between this and previous editions.

Prologue We open in Luther's Tavern. A chorus of the Spirits of Wine and Beer sing out. The Muse emerges from a barrel, declaring her love for Hoffmann and determination to rid him of Stella, the “siren” who has stolen his attention (and affection). She tells the audience that she will disguise herself as Nicklausse, Hoffmann’s friend, in order to try one last time to win him tonight. The Councilor Lindorf comes in and bribes Andrès, a tavern employee, into giving him a letter from Stella, an actress, that’s addressed to Hoffmann. Lindorf reads the letter, in which Stella has included the key to her room and invites Hoffmann to join her after her performance that evening. Lindorf keeps the letter and key for himself. A group of students arrive in the tavern and sing a rousing drinking chorus. After a bit they notice Hoffmann isn’t there yet and demand to know where he is. Luther, the tavern's owner tells them Hoffmann is on his way, along with Nicklausse. The pair enter and take a seat. Hoffmann is melancholy and brooding, which prompts the students to ask him for a jovial song to lighten the mood. Hoffmann then sings the famous “Ballad of Klein-Zach.” But in the middle of the song, he gets distracted by memories of Stella. The students bring him back to reality and he finishes the sing, but the talk of love brings it up as a topic of conversation. Hoffmann declares “The devil take me if I were ever to fall in love!” At this point Lindorf makes his presence known, sneering at Hoffmann. The two of them then get into a battle of words, during which Hoffmann inadvertently admits that he is, in fact, in love with someone. Curious, the students ask him for the story of his love. Hoffmann declares that he has had not one but three mistresses: an artist, a young girl, and a courtesan. He then begins to tell his tales. Act I: Olympia Hoffmann goes to visit his science professor, Spalanzani, to declare his devotion to science. Spalanzani commends him, then leaves to prepare for his “daughter” Olympia’s coming-out party. Hoffmann admits his love for Olympia and gazes at her through a window. Nicklausse arrives and gently teases him about his love, singing a song about a mechanical doll and bird (sometimes it’s changed to a more mocking song specifically referencing Olympia). (also he sometimes mockingly serenades Olympia before his other aria.) Hoffmann brushes him off. Coppélius, an eccentric salesman, enters and attempts to sell Hoffmann and Nicklausse a variety or contraptions; Hoffmann and Nicklausse bicker over whether or not to engage with the salesman. Coppélius manages to get Hoffmann interested in a pair of magical glasses, which Hoffmann then purchases and wears for the remainder of the act. Spalanzani returns and gets into an argument with Coppélius about Olympia; Coppélius wants a share since she has his eyes. Spalanzani decides to pay Coppélius with a check that he mentions in an aside he knows will bounce. Coppélius tells Spalanzani that he should get Hoffmann to marry Olympia as a joke. Spalanzani agrees, and Coppélius leaves. Cochenille, Spalanzani's assistant, announces the arrival of the guests. A chorus of people arrive, admiring Spalanzani’s skills as a host. Spalanzani introduces Olympia to the guests, who marvel over her perfection. Olympia sings a charming songs about birds and love. Hoffmann's new glasses make him see Olympia as a real person rather than the robot she actually is, and he is captivated. After Olympia’s song, the guests leave to go to dinner, but Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to stay behind with Olympia. Hoffmann professes his love for Olympia, who responds only with “Yes” when Hoffmann touches her shoulder (he doesn’t know he’s actually triggering a button that makes her say that word). When he goes to embrace her, Olympia runs off. Nicklausse returns, telling Hoffmann to be wary, because everything is not as it seems; Hoffmann brushes him off yet again. Then we get my beloved little waltzy duet where Nicklausse invites Hoffmann back to the party and Hoffmann denounces cynics who disbelieve

the power of love. They leave to join the other guests. Coppélius enters, furious with Spalanzani for giving him a faulty check. He swears revenge and runs off. The guests return for dancing. Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to dance with Olympia. During the dance, Olympia goes haywire and rushes offstage, pursued by Cochenille. In the process, Hoffmann’s glasses are broken. Cochenille rushes back onstage, crying out that Coppélius has Olympia; Spalanzani rushes to her aid, only to find Coppélius with the robot in pieces. They return holding parts of the broken doll, and Hoffmann, his magical glasses now broken, finally sees Olympia for who she truly is and is humiliated. Act II: Antonia Crespel’s house. Antonia laments the death of her mother and her separation from her lover, Hoffmann. Her father, Crespel, enters and reminds her not to sing, lest she die from it like her mother did. Antonia promises him she won’t sing anymore and leaves sadly. Crespel asks his servant Frantz to watch the door and make sure no one comes in. Frantz, who is partially deaf, only half-understands him. Crespel expresses frustration at this and leaves. Frantz remarks in a fun little number that if only he had some talents—like singing or dancing—maybe his boss would appreciate him more. Hoffmann enters with Nicklausse; they have been travelling for weeks looking for Antonia after she moved away without a word. Hoffmann asks Frantz to go find Antonia for him. While Hoffmann expresses his joy over being reunited with Antonia, Nicklausse tries to temper his excitement with a reality check, which Hoffmann brushes off (he does this a lot). Nicklausse then sings a lovely song about the power of art and love (which is really a love song for Hoffmann), but once again Hoffmann ignores him. Hoffmann begins to sing a song that he and Antonia wrote. Antonia hears him and rushes to meet him; Nicklausse exits quietly. Hoffmann and Antonia rejoice over their reunion and pledge to get married. Hoffmann expresses concern over Antonia’s insistence to sing despite her ill health. Antonia convinces him to sing their song together, which they do. Afterwards Antonia becomes tired. Before Hoffmann can react, they hear Crespel coming. Antonia flees, but Hoffmann remains, hiding so he can eavesdrop on Crespel. Frantz returns and tells Crespel that Dr. Miracle is here, having misunderstood Crespel’s command to not let anyone in. Dr. Miracle enters, asking to see Antonia. Crespel refuses and tells him to leave, saying that his faulty medicine is what killed Antonia's mother. Dr. Miracle, however, remains, and pantomimes an interaction with Antonia where he checks her pulse and orders her to sing. Offstage, Antonia responds with a scale. Dr. Miracle tells Crespel that Antonia is dangerously ill, and gives him two vials of medicine that he says will cure her. Crespel refuses them, calling the doctor a murderer and chasing him out. Hoffmann comes out of hiding, stunned by this encounter. Antonia returns and asks Hoffmann what her father said, thinking that he and Hoffmann had been talking this entire time. Hoffmann, disturbed by what he’s seen and heard, makes Antonia promise not to sing. She agrees, but when Hoffmann leaves (promising to return for her later) she laments that Hoffmann is now on her father’s side about her singing. Dr. Miracle returns as a disembodied voice, taunting Antonia. Why should she give up singing just because her father and Hoffmann tell her to? Doesn’t she want to be a great singer like her mother? When Antonia rebuffs him, Dr. Miracle calls on the spirit of Antonia’s dead mother, who leads Antonia in a frantic refrain. Antonia, exhausted by the singing, collapses. Crespel rushes in to see his daughter dying on the floor. She tells him she sees her mother, then sings a part of her and Hoffmann’s song, before dying in her father’s arms. Hoffmann rushes in just in time to see Dr. Miracle pronounce Antonia dead. Act III: Giulietta Venice. The courtesan Giulietta is having a party of sorts. She and Nicklausse sing the famous Barcarolle. Afterwards

Hoffmann mocks them with a song of his own condemning love and romance. Schlémil, who is in love with Giulietta, enters and makes it clear he is suspicious of Hoffmann when Giulietta introduces him. Giulietta then leads her guests out to play cards. Hoffmann is about to follow when Nicklausse takes him aside, warning him against Giulietta and asking him to leave. Hoffmann says there’s no way he could fall for someone like Giulietta, and if he does, may the devil take him! (He really needs to stop saying that.) As if summoned, the Captain Dapertutto arrives and introduces himself, ominously revealing that he knows who Hoffmann is as well, and in general just acts creepy. Hoffmann and Nicklausse warily leave him behind and go to join the others playing cards. Once they’re gone, Dapertutto announces his plans to thwart Hoffmann with the help of Giulietta. He sings a diabolical aria and attracts the courtesan with a diamond, and tells her she needs to steal Hoffmann’s reflection for him. Giulietta agrees to do so in exchange for the diamond. (Here’s where the plot deviates, and the Oeser parts from earlier don’t appear at all.) The guests return looking for Giulietta, who sings a song for them as they play cards. Hoffmann gets distracted by Giulietta and gives Nicklausse his cards. Giulietta seduces Hoffmann and convinces him to duel Schlémil to get the key to her bedroom. Hoffmann does and kills Schlémil. Nicklausse finds Hoffmann and, learning about the duel, begs Hoffmann to leave with him. Hoffmann refuses, wanting to see Giulietta. Nicklausse leaves to find a means of transportation. Giulietta returns and continues to seduce Hoffmann, who falls for her completely. She asks for his reflection as a keepsake; he’s helpless to resist her. Dapertutto returns; Giulietta relinquishes Hoffmann to him. Nicklausse returns as well, in time to find Hoffmann has lost his reflection. Once again he begs Hoffmann to leave, but Hoffmann refuses, still insistent that Giulietta loves him. The chorus returns, mocking Hoffmann for being duped. The police arrive to arrest Schlémil’s killer. Furious, Hoffmann attempts to stab Giulietta, but misses and kills Pitichinaccio, who is revealed to be her real lover. Giulietta despairs over his body, and Nicklausse finally manages to drag Hoffmann away. (There is no Septet in Kaye edits.) Epilogue Back at the tavern, the students sing a disbelieving chorus as Hoffmann finishes his tales, telling him to come back to reality. Offstage, cheers and applause are heard for Stella as her performance comes to an end. Nicklausse announces a revelation—all of Hoffmann’s lovers in his stories are just manifestations of his real love for a single woman, Stella. Furious, Hoffmann shouts Nicklausse down. He then encourages everyone (including himself) to get blackout drunk. The chorus of the Spirits of Wine and Beer from the prologue returns, creepily overlapping with the students’ drinking chorus. Stella enters looking for Hoffmann. Hoffmann drunkenly mistakes Stella for his three fictional loves, then rejects her. Offended, Stella leaves with Lindorf. Hoffmann begins to sing his Klein-Zach song, mockingly dedicating it to Lindorf, before falling in despair. The students exit the tavern, singing their song once again and leaving Hoffmann alone. (Sometimes Stella gets an aria here, basically telling Hoffmann “you don’t know what you’re missing by rejecting me.”) Nicklausse returns and reveals his identity as the Muse. She declares her love and devotion for Hoffmann and asks for his in return. The Muse serenades Hoffmann with a comforting refrain: love makes a man great, but tears make him greater still—his suffering is not in vain, but will make him an even greater artist. (Sometimes the final chorus is extended, with comments from the other characters announcing that the future is his.)

And there you have it!

As mentioned before, there are a ton of variations on all of these. Choudens edits and short Oeser edits are often very similar, but even they will have random chunks cut here and there, sometimes move things around, and of course it’s always a toss-up which aria Niclausse is going to get in Act I and if he’ll get the Violin Aria.

If you got to the end of this, kudos. Seriously. I could barely make it through, and I elected to write the thing.