#I just think he can’t actually do psychology like he says in 25 (as is proved) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yikimiki · 1 year

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I feel like requesting for some CEO erwin who traps reader?

The how, the when, iss all on you

Took me a while to think about the concept of “trapping” here — so I basically went in every possible direction known to man

⚠️ warnings: toxic/dark content!!, vague smut, erwin is very narcissistic and sadistic, CEO!Erwin x MedStudent!Reader, 20 year age gap (25 and 45), manipulation, abusive relationship (emotional, psychological, financial), mentions of pregnancy and baby trapping

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Erwin’s victory started with a small suggestion — something so bland and unimportant that you didn’t even pay attention to it, but now you deeply wish you could take back. “Why don’t you spend some time away from school? Take less classes. You can stay with me, darling, live a little.”

It was spoken over a glass of wine, in between silly giggles and stupid jokes, lost in the warmth of the candle lights and the dinner in front of you. You and Erwin had been going strong for some time then, almost seven months together, and you had no reason to suspect ill will. So you said yes.

The change was actually very kind to your mental health and, even if you were a semester away from graduating, you decided to step back. Erwin asked you to move in with him, into his beautiful penthouse facing the bay, and you accepted. He suggested that you take the entire rest of the year of to travel with him, and you did. And, when you come back, your education has practically vanished from the forefront of your mind.

You have the intention of coming back to med school, and you tell him so thousands of time — which Erwin politely agrees with. But, at the same time, it is like he always has this great new opportunity for you that stands in the way. “Why don’t we move? You can decorate however you want, darling, I’ll just pay,” or maybe, “Don’t you think going out with your friends has been a little draining? Why don’t we stay together more often, just the two of us?”

To make things worse, Erwin works all the time. He leaves you alone in this humongous, empty, pseudo-modernist house that you can’t stand, doing things you can’t stand — all day long, every day. You clean, you get everything in order, you watch stupid TV shows and you put some pre cooked meal in the oven a little before he comes come. You hate being a housewife, you miss your freedom, your intellectual pursuits in medicine. And, most of all, you miss doing something else.

“I think I’m going back to school,” you say one night over dinner. “I already submitted my information. Just waiting for them to get back to me.”

Erwin places his knife down. And, just like that, it’s like your previous years together never existed.

“To do what, get more debt? Like I’m not paying enough?” He asks — cold, calculated. The room feels like it’s tilting a little. “Do you know how much I spend on you? How much I spent on this house, on everything you bought, and now you want me to just accept another load of cash just… out of my wallet?”

“I’m… I’m not asking you to pay for anything,” it’s all you can say.

He sneers. “Oh, you never ask. But I always do.” Erwin leans back again the chair. “Besides, it’s not like you have the money anyways. So let’s not kid ourselves here — you know I work hard, extra fucking hard, to make you happy. So what is it? Am I not making you happy?”

You blink, not recognizing the man before you anymore. “You make me happy, Erwin. But I need more than this. I miss my life, my friends…”

“Oh, so I’m not enough, is that it?” He gives you this wicked smile that has your stomach clenching. Erwin sighs, disappointed, and gets up from the table. “Let’s do it like this: I’ll leave you alone tonight so you can think about what is it that you want—“

“Wait, no that’s not…”

“—And, tomorrow, when I come back, we can talk better about it,” he finishes. “If you want to go to med school, we can figure it out.”

The night passes in a blur of tears and cries, confused thoughts coming and going in your head. All you can think is that you were raised better than this — better than to lower your expectations for someone else, better than to let someone else dictate your future. But, at the same time, you’re so hurt. Erwin has been your everything for so long now that you don’t even know what you’ll do without him. You don’t have a job, you’re away from family and friends, and you wouldn’t even know where to start he were to kick you out. He is everything you have.

So, next morning, when he shows up with a bouquet at your door, you forgive him. And you swallow your pride and tell him you can wait another year or so to get on your feet.

Erwin seems blissful, and even creates a job at his company for you to make your own money… which he pockets, to take better care of it — because “you don’t know how to invest”. He loves seeing you around every day at work, and you like it too, but you can’t help to feel a little claustrophobic at the way your life has turned into a pendulum between your house and your work. And Erwin. Erwin is always there.

You get tired of suggesting dates with him. Erwin has turned every single comment of yours into an episode of self flagellation — he isn’t good enough, you don’t love him, there’s someone else, you don’t want to be with him. And so you retreat, afraid of more conflict, and let things accumulate.

Erwin’s victory concludes one autumn night, before you even realize there was a game being played. He kisses you like the world is about to end, worships your body like a temple and, at the last minute, suggests that you change just one last thing for him: “what do you think about not taking the pill anymore?”

You hesitate this time, but accept superficially. You keep taking it until it’s over, and you realize that there isn’t a way for you to buy more of it without Erwin realizing it — it’s his card, and he doesn’t give you any extra money. He takes you to and from work. There’s no free time.

So you pray that it won’t happen. For three months after your pause your period doesn’t come, then it resumes, thin and painful, then strong. Erwin fills you up with cum every night, more often than before, because there’s a mission now, there’s a plan in his mind. And you are afraid to say anything else, afraid to sadden him or make him mad, because you feel like without him, you’re nothing. Without him, you don’t even know how you are.

“It’s positive? Why didn’t you tell me?” Erwin walks into the living room one day, test in hand. You had thrown it in the trash earlier.

You force a smile, but there are tears in your eyes. “I wanted to make a surprise,” you lie. “Are you happy?”

Erwin smiles. “The happiest I’ve ever been.”

#Erwin smut #Erwin angst #erwin x y/n #Erwin x you #Erwin x reader #attack on titan smut #snk smut

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ryuichirou · 1 year

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I just want to say: the darker AUs you have on your blog are just *chefs kiss*. The prison AU has so many venues for underhanded dealings, manipulation and just prime psychological warfare. Heartslabyul's dynamics as wardens is just? asking for trouble and I am all for it. I guess my question would be: How would the prisoners take advantage of their wardens' weaknesses? Seeing as some are more rule-bound (Riddle, Trey) in a sense, you could also consider them the most predictable. Meanwhile other wardens may underestimate the prisoners (Ace because he's arrogant, Deuce because he's a little naive) and that could lead to other problems. Although lowkey, Cater kind of seems like the guy who is actually a double-agent working for the prisoners... I mean that signature spell is literally the perfect alibi... any more info on him? I apologize for going on and on but I am just so genuinely intrigued by your prison AU. I would kill for any more details about it, it is just seriously so good.

This reply is written by Katsu <3

Thank you very much for liking darker stuff and this AU in particular! The character writing is so great in TW that putting them in literally any setting and thinking about how their relationship would slightly transform because of that while trying to remain as close to the original as possible is just a treat. And since we all know they are villains... it’s going to be exactly like you said – dealings, manipulation, smuggling, warfare and whatnot.

Half-way though this reply turned into an instruction, for some reason?.. I’m sorry lol I spent too much time writing all of this.

Your take on the Heartslabyul boys is pretty much on point, so I’d probably describe their weaknesses in a similar manner.

Riddle is extremely predictable because he follows the prison rules to a T. You can abuse his regime and his routines; his patrol routes follow a very distinct pattern, so if you find any of his blind spots, it’s basically a golden mine for smuggling. Even if Riddle’s aware of that, but sometimes he can’t change what he’s doing atm because it interferes with some of his Queen of Hearts rules, so he’s bound to obey them no matter what despite the fact that he’s not a student anymore and despite the fact that someone breaks prison rules right in front of him. I think prisoners would learn quite a large number of Queen of Hearts rules to use for their advantage. It sometimes can be something simple, for instance, like abusing the rule 153 - the only tea you may drink in the evenings is herbal tea. They can freely put something like sleeping pills in it because they know that Riddle is definitely going to drink this tea and not anything else in the evening. Or rule 25, which lets you know that his shift is going to end sooner than usual that day, not to mention he’s going to drag a bunch of other wardens with him to help out with a tea party.

Trey, on the other hand, isn’t as strict, so he’s less convenient for the prisoners, esp in comparison. However, he doesn’t lack common sense unlike Riddle, who is rather eccentric, so his “normal guy” attitude also leads to him being rather predictable, just like you said. Nothing special comes to mind for me except for the usual ways to trick people, but Trey isn’t exactly the most trusting guy, so he might actually see through you. Prisoners can sometimes abuse his poor eyesight, though.

Ace really is arrogant, he’s the one you can easily manipulate if he has some respect for you, and if you seem cool to him, then despite being a prisoner you definitely have some (respect). It’s the same as Floyd described, basically, where Ace does dumb shit thinking it’s part of a master plan, and that he won’t get caught for it, so he follows your lead. He’s also very short-tempered, and this, with his provoking manner of speech, leads to him being one of the “weakest” wardens in prison. One of the most troublesome and funny...

Deuce is somewhat the same, he gets angry quickly and is ready to fight anyone who disses people he likes or respects (he’s less likely to jump someone if they offend him personally). He’s naive and will believe you if you say you want to change, but only because of his own experience,and only after he gets to know better. He’s not exactly trustful and is well aware about different types of delinquents and their behaviour patterns, although his knowledge about really creepy and dangerous dudes is worse. He also won’t believe you the second time after you betray his trust. He also runs fast, that’s his strong point.

Cater... I honestly don’t know or remember much about Cater, he’s one of the neglected boys by us (sorry, Cater), but I think your idea of him being a double agent seems perfect for him, as well as his unique magic that’ll make him one of the most knowledgeable people in the prison in terms of rumors + will always provide him with perfect alibi. He’s profitable, so I think prisoners will try to maintain nice relationships with him. He seems like one of the smugglers, who would bring stuff to prison for trade. Kay-kun is here to deliver your cigarettes!~ and stuff.

Jack’s weaknesses are related to him being a pup – anything extremely stinky (hi, beanfest), loud, or distracting and abusing his sharp senses is a nice go-to for disturbing with his work. If he’s transformed into a wolf, anything that helps you to drag out the situation would also be beneficial – I’m pretty sure that after transforming back he’d be too tired to do anything. Since his nose is very powerful, to erase tracks and your own smell from objects it’s better to use stuff that’s extremely chemical and/or includes bleach or even worse stuff. Now it sounds like I’m writing a tutorial...

Kalim is a walking weakness disaster. The only thing that’s on his side is his luck and his positive attitude. He’s a nightmare for his colleagues, even though he’s pretty hard-working and listens to every order without complaint... I’m sorry. He’s so easy to abuse, even if he learns his mistakes and tries not to repeat them. I wouldn’t even call him stupid, he isn’t, it’s just everything else about him.

Rook doesn’t have any weaknesses, although maybe he might get distracted by Vil’s beauty or some other stalking activity – you never know where he is, which can be both a pro and a con. Plus, Rook doesn’t take his job very seriously, he’s more here to have fun and discover something beautiful by being among the lowest scum of the earth, or something like that, so he might neglect his duties from time to time.

Vil’s weakest spot is his face, so doing anything to destroy it or disturb his beauty, despite this being a dick move, is a nice way to get rid of him. Also gross and dirty stuff might stall him, so he’ll spend at least some time to overcome his disgust, but that depends more on his mental state. If he’s confident, which he often is, it just won’t do you any good. It’s still possible to overpower him, but that’s for very strong prisoners.

Epel is on the same line with Ace and Deuce – quick-tempered and fast to punch you in the face, so he’s easy to manipulate as well. He’s not as scheming as Ace and not as nice as Deuce, so he’s probably the dumbest warden there is (sorry, Epel...). He also tries to look cool, so if you stroke his ego in the correct way or prove that you’re super cool and worthy of his respect, he’ll be your minion. He’s good at lying in people’s faces, though, which can also be used if he’s on a prisoner’s side.

Idia is a scared kitten who’s very weak physically, so he won’t put up any fight – you can bully him into lots of stuff with threats and violence, even if he’s going to complain about it along the way. He gives up easily if he sees that chances to win aren’t on his side, and that’s definitely going to be the case with most of the prisoners, unless he can use his technician skill somehow. He’s hard to spot, but if he falls into prisoner’s hands, his go-to is to get out of situation with the least amount of losses from his side. Wow, he’s so useless he’s with the Ace-Deuce-Epel team.

Ortho is a little bit naive, but his super strength, super hearing, super eyesight and literally all of his other settings and his gear compensate this weakness. I’d recommend avoiding him as much as Rook, he’s too OP. His basic weakness would be water and humid stuff, but I’m pretty sure Idia has this covered by giving him magic shields and air dryers or something.

Sebek – very aggressive and stupid. If you offend him or anything that he respects, he’ll probably try to murder you and not think about anything else. On the downside, he’s very strong and has sharp senses, so after teasing him it’s important to get out of his reach. He seems silly, but I wouldn’t count on it too much without getting his emotions involved in the process, he’s attentive and analytical.

Silver is also somewhat naive and goes with the flow. He’s gullible, so if your acting is mid or higher level, it’s very easy to trick him into believing you, even if you say something dumb like “zombie breakout, run” while going with your escape plan. And, of course, his narcolepsy, which makes him one of the favourite wardens for prisoners.

This sounds more like a character analysis post than me trying to name their weaknesses, but I hope it works! Once again, thank you very much for you kind words and this wonderful ask ❤️

#replies #our aus #prison warden au

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angel-inrealtime · 2 years

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November F1c Prompts Day 25

Day 25 - Tactile (Sharp)

A/N: hefty TWs for this chapter including - parental death (offscreen, discussed), resulting trauma, bad family relationships, mental health issues (think CPTSD/adjacent), mild (??) toxicity in relationships as a result of the above (I am not a good judge lmao).

Let me know if there's anything specific you think I should tag, happy to do so.

A/N 2: Despite all that ^ I feel like this is more comfort than hurt. It's still a nice little sunshine universe - just a passing (or already passed) storm.

Sometimes you feel like you’re made of sharp sides and spikes. And that’s fine – great, actually - when that’s what you need. It helped you get through the hard things (even though it was other hard things that made you so...prickly, in the first place).

The problem is…it’s difficult to know how not to be sharp. How to turn it off when you don’t want to be.

(When you don’t need to be)

You look at Daniel and you desperately don’t want to cut him on all of your sharp edges – privately think you’d rather die than hurt him; on purpose, by accident, or otherwise. You can’t say it like that, of course. That would seem insane.

The first time a therapist said to you “you’re very self-aware” you wanted to scream ‘yes, that’s the problem’. You came armed with bulleted lists, traumas laid out neat on journal pages and organised by connection.

(You don’t mention that you have a psychology degree, because that would mean explaining why you turned down a first class honours position when it all got too close to home, as if that somehow hadn’t been the point all along and you’d just avoided thinking about it until you couldn’t anymore, and then…well, turning it into a commodity via organisational psychology and human resources had just been a pivot, or whatever buzzword is most fitting)

You remember the lists though, of all the things that made you sharp, all the spindly lines between cause and effect and outcome but it’s like Daniel set off a pebble sized snowball at the top of a very large hill and it grows and grows until it’s a boulder and it seems unstoppable.

“You really are obsessed with the moon hey?”

He’s delighted by it if anything, but what almost slips out is the clumsiest self-deprecation in the urge to turn it into a bit. What you almost say is ‘yeah, me and Sylvia Plath really grabbed the mummy issues with both hands on that one’. He won’t get it, which means you’ll have to explain, (which means you’ll have to examine it), when all you can muster is disjointed bits of verse;

The moon is no door. It is a face in its own right, White as a knuckle and terribly upset.

The moon is my mother. She is not sweet like Mary.

I have fallen a long way.

The moon sees nothing of this. She is bald and wild.

“You didn’t tell me. About your dad.”

He’s so handsome, sitting across the table at dinner, which is new. If you eat together, it’s usually with friends; your time alone is usually confined to a hotel room (maybe one of your apartments or his place in LA if it’s not a race weekend). But it’s just the two of you in the Montreal dive-bar, a couple of share plates and wine you can feel staining your mouth red on the dark wood between you. It’s all candles in artfully grubby mason jars and dim, filament light-globes which send shadows across his sharp jaw and high cheekbones (bring out the gold flecks in his honey brown eyes and when you’re honest with yourself you could spend an eternity trying to find them all and you’d be content for that to be your life’s work).

It falls out of his mouth softly, like an accident, but also the loudest thing you’ve ever heard.

You pick up your wine and take a huge mouthful to steel yourself before you meet those eyes (he looks sad). “I don’t…really talk about it. Him.”

(‘you’re not special’ the panicked, hysterical part of you wants to scream. ‘I don’t talk about it with anyone’)

“Would you…” He pauses, still looking at you softly. “I mean, you don’t have to, obviously, but…if you want to.” There’s a little aborted movement in his long fingers, but not so stilted that he doesn’t brush the back of your hand with them. “The offer’s there. I know…or…it seems like it was a long time ago? So if you don’t that’s cool. But…”

He’s tying himself in knots trying to give you something that’s so at odds to the rest of your relationship – easy, flirty, no strings – that the smile on your mouth when you muster it feels like it doesn’t quite fit.

“I’m all good, Daniel. Thank you, though. I appreciate it. You’re a good friend.” Reassure, express gratitude, make it genuine, compliment.

So why, when you meet his eyes again, does he look so crestfallen?

“I don’t want to fuck this up.”

It’s that he just stares at you, once you finally force the words out past the barbed-wire lump in your throat that’s been sitting there for…well. You don’t even know. It probably pre-dates him. “What, Daniel, what are you looking at?”

It almost sounds like you’re begging him to tell you. You hate it.

“I don’t wanna fuck it up either, that’s…” He looks at you like you’re fascinating, or something.

It’s grating.

“I’m not a fucking…puzzle, to solve, Daniel. Like, I get it, I’m several circles deep in the ‘fucked up parent issues, don’t stick your dick in crazy’ scale, but I-”

His expression changes immediately, full mouth twisted in a frown that still looks foreign on his face. “I never said that. Don’t put words in my mouth. I wouldn’t say that.”

You can tell from the careful way he sits, how his fingers twist together, that he wants to reach out for you. Touch is how he orients himself in the world, but he’s trying to give you the space you asked for (it takes everything in you not to give in, to stay standing near the picture window, because you could give him what he needs to feel safer and you’re withholding it for what feel like selfish reasons).

The lump isn’t made of barbed wire anymore, it’s acid spilling out of your eyes and onto your cheeks.

“You can think it though, it’s okay to just…get out now.”

His fingers are so twisted around each other that his knuckles are white, and he looks heartbroken when you chance a blurry glance down at where he’s sitting on the coffee table. “Is that what you want?” He asks quietly.

“Danny, I…”

“Is that what you want?” He asks again, with a steadier voice and a crackle of defiance in his eyes that you weren’t expecting. “I’m asking you what you want. Not fucking…” He breathes harshly through his nose, and his voice is quieter when he starts again. “Not what you think you deserve, or what you feel like you haven’t earned or whatever…bullshit the shitty parts of your head are telling you. But what you want.”

“You.” It comes out no louder than a whisper. “I want…”

He can’t seem to bear it any longer, opens his arms from where he’s still sitting and looks at you like he’s cracked wide open and exposed. “C’mere. Please, love, I…” He swallows loud enough that you hear it. “You’ve got me. You’ve already got me.”

Maybe you don’t need the space anymore, maybe it’s enough to wrap your arms around his head and let his arms be like a vice around your waist, and to see him look up at you so raw and so fucking sincere.

“I’m scared.”

“That’s okay. You can be scared. It doesn’t mean it’s a bad idea, just because it’s scary.”

It sounds so fucking simple when he says it but… “What if I can’t…”

“Babe.”

“No, please can you just…listen?” You sniff hugely and try to keep the rise and fall of your chest steady. Wind your fingers into the curls of his hair just in case it’s the last time you get to. “There is a not insignificant part of me that’s fucking…terrified, of ever making a kid feel the way I did. Or do. Or whatever. I need…” You shut your eyes and let the drying tears stick your eyelashes together, so you don’t have to see his face as it happens (‘if it happens’ the traitorous, hopeful part of you contributes). “If you want to…if this is serious then I need you to know that’s my one card on the table. I will do my best, to keep working through it and…communicating, and stuff, even though that’s hard and scary but…I can’t promise that bit. And it’s only fair that like…you know that, at least.”

Daniel is quiet for what feels like an age, and then one of his hands finds the soft skin of your lower back under your jumper. “That’s okay, babe. It’s okay. That’s not a thing to rush, anyway.”

“But you…”

“You’ve got me.” He says again. “I want us. And if what ‘us’ looks like is just…the coolest fucking aunt and uncle in the world then…” He shrugs, you can feel it under your hands. “That’s fine by me.” His fingers press into your skin until you blink open your eyes and look at him. “But we can just…check in, about things. As often as we need to. It’s okay.” He repeats, presses a soft kiss to your chest.

“I’m sorry.”

“Ah! Ah Ah Ah!” His arms go tight like a vice around you and there’s warning in his eyes around the joking tone of voice. “No. No apologising. Unnecessary.”

“But-”

“For fuck sakes babe.” He stands up so suddenly it’s embarrassingly easy for him to tilt you over his shoulder so you’re hanging there, secured with an arm around your legs and a hand very firmly on the denim covering your ass. “Clearly I need to employ alternative methods, here.”

“Fucking put me down, you cunt.” The kick of your legs is half-hearted – he isn’t letting you go until he’s throwing you down on the bed with an exaggerated shrug like he’s a professional wrestler rather than a race car driver. You know how this bit goes.

“The mouth on you!” Somehow he manages to stay deadpan to deliver the sentence, but he devolves into giggles immediately after.

Unscathed, against all odds.

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justsomerandomfanfic · 2 years

Text

100 Prompts List

Random Dialogue Prompts For Requests:

Requests are open

🥰 = Fluff 😢 = Angst 🤕 = Hurt/Comfort 😜 = Random

______________

1. “But this is the only thing that’s made the last three years bearable.” 🤕

2. “What do you mean, he’s escaped?” 😜

3. “So, you’ve been living in denial all these years?” 😢

4. “I miss moments like this more than anything.” 😢

5. “Go and live with her then! See if I care!” 😢

6. “Quick! Go hide behind the sofa!” 😜

7. “You must be mad to show up here.” 😢

8. “No! I am tired of doing what you say!” 😢

9. “Darling, it’s beautiful, thank you!” 🥰

10. “What a thing to say – and on my birthday of all days!” 😢

11. “Could you be happy here with me?”🤕

12. “You’ve only heard his point of view. You never asked mine.” 😢

13. “You’ve taken her back!? Are you serious!?” 😢

14. “For some reason, I’m attracted to you.” 🥰

15. “I’ve been checking you out all night.” 🥰

16. “We can’t invite them over. Mother hates them.” 😜

17. “Give me one good reason why I should wear a dress.” 😜

18. “I don’t think I could live alone again.” 😢

19. “You were supposed to be watching him!” 😢

20. “You did a bad thing for a good reason.”

21. “What aren’t you telling me?” 🤕

22. “Don’t go. Please.” 🤕

23. “Did I mention this is life or death?” 😜

24. “Where is your sense of adventure?” 😜

25. “Why are you looking at me like that?” 🥰

26. “I feel safe with you.” 🥰

27. “Wait. Did you hear that… There’s something in the walls.” 😜

28. “It’s nothing. It’s just a bruise.” 🤕

29. “You were talking in your sleep.” 🤕

30. “See? I’m not just a pretty face.” 😢

31. “You don’t have to walk me home.” 🥰

32. “I’ve got you back, okay?” 🥰

33. “You’re not human, are you?” 😜

34. “Jealous!? I am not jealous!” 😢

35. “Stop trying to hide your emotions from me.” 🤕

36. “You’re kind of a mystery to me.” 🥰

37. “Have you always been this hot?” 🥰

38. “Kiss me… Kiss me as if it were our last.” 🥰

39. “Have a drink with me. Promise I’m not a creep.” 😜

40. “This is… Literally illegal. You’re describing something illegal.” 😜

41. “Surprised to run into you here… And of all places, my mother’s funeral.” 😢

42. “Can we put aside our differences for a second?” 😢

43. “Let’s go somewhere. Just you and I.” 🥰

44. “Everything is always about you.” 😢

45. “I don’t always need you to fix everything. I just need you to listen.” 😢

46. “Do you remember when we first met?” 🥰

47. “Let me do this, for you.” 🤕

48. You see this!? This is real life!“ 😢

49. “Why are you laughing? This is a very serious situation.” 😜

50. “Why do you hate me?” 😢

51. “We never should’ve kissed - that was our first mistake.” 🤕

52. “Don’t you see? I did this all for you!” 😢

53. “Why should I trust you?” 😢

54. “Can you look at me, please?” 🤕

55. “Why can’t we just get along?” 🤕

56. “Snap out of it!” 😢

57. “Are you kidding me!? We’re not ‘fine!’” 😢

58. “Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But, emotionally? Imagine the toll.” 😜

59. “So, apparently, the ‘bad vibes’ I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological stress.” 😜

61. “With great power comes great need to take a nap. So don’t wake me up.” 😜

62. “You seem familiar. Have I threatened you before?” 😜

63. “She doesn’t understand you like I do.” 😢

64. “Please! Stop it! All of you!” 😢

65. “If you leave me now, you lose everything.” 😢

66. “It’s not every day I fall for a pretty person like you.” 🥰

67. “How long have you been there?” 🤕

68. “Well? What happened? Tell me all the details!” 😜

69. “Don’t die on me!” 😢

70. “I’m in love. And I’m scared.” 😢

71. “I always keep my promises.” 🥰

72. “Let me go.” 😢

73. “Are you serious? You’re bleeding out!” “So? I’m hungry.” 😜

74. “Will you get off me, my whole body’s numb.” “No, I’m very comfortable.” 😜

75. “You are single-handedly the reason I have anxiety.” 😜

76. “Stop being so dramatic.” 😜

77. “I can almost hear you pouting.” 😜

78. “I watched you walk into the room and my heart went ‘Boom!’” 🥰

79. “Home is wherever you are with me.” 🥰

80. “No, I don’t hate you.” 🤕

81. “I dare you.” 😜

82. “Let it go! Let it go! Can’t hold it back anymore!” “Oh, god, not again.” 😜

83. “Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?” “It’s a gun.” “Oh sh-” 😜

84. “Just because you wear black, doesn’t mean that you’re the reincarnation of Wednesday Addams.” “Imma gonna ignore you while I dance dance dance with my hands hands hands.” 😜

85. “Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?” “I want a divorce.” 😜

86. “I love you.” “I love me too.” 😜

87. “Wanna dance to the Kahoot Theme song while we wait for our pizza?” “Sure.” 😜

88. “Hydrate or diedrate.” 😜

89. “It’s a beautiful night, and we’re looking for something fun to do! Hey, baby! I think I wanna marry you.” “No.” 😜

90. “Why is your ID picture a pumpkin?” “Because you can cut me open, take out my guts, and put me out on your porch for three months.” “Uh… Huh?” 😜

91. “Why did you just lick my ice cream?” “Uh, cause I was hungry?” “I don’t even know you.” 😜

92. “Wanna play hide-and-seek?” “What are you? Five?” “… Yes.” 😜

93. “Want me to shower you in love and affection?” “The only shower I want is one with nice hot water, and you are one-hundred feet away from me.” 😜

94. “We’re just friends.” “But that can change, right?” 😜

95. “Now that’s a booty.” “Stop looking in the mirror, you weirdo.” 😜

96. “Uh, why do you have a room full of dolls?” “They’re not dolls. They’re my family.” 😜

97. “I’m not doing it. You keep killing me.” “Well, it’s not my fault you suck at Minecraft.” 😜

98. “I think I need therapy.” “Why go to therapy when you can have friendapy!” “That’s it! I’m moving out!” 😜

99. “I can’t find my glasses.” “Good. They made you look like a nerd.” 😜

100. “Do you think there’s another dimension or alternate reality where we are fictional characters and someone out there is reading about us being their one true love?” “Ah, no.” “Yeah, me neither.” 😜

#fanfics #fandom #fanfiction #fanfic #request #requests #requests open #requests are open #reqs open #prompts #dialogue #dialogue prompt #prompts dialogue

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ruminate88 · 1 month

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Digestive problems after emotional abuse:

I was completely in the dark about my digestive health…… When I was texting my ex Andrew, there was times he would ignore me for days or hours, but then always come back and act like everything was fine and so if I was out in public with family and Andrew was upsetting me, I would go to the bathroom to text him and find myself just in there forever, trying to find the right words to say to him, to express my feelings and try to make him understand me, but I know now he was NEVER going to understand me because he didn’t really care about me. He was just using me for my nudes..

And family would make comments to me like “Why do you take so long in the bathroom?” 😳😓😣 and of course I didn’t want to talk about Andrew to family because I knew they would want to see pictures of him and talk to him and meet him and I had already tried to meet Andrew’s family but he said he wasn’t ready yet. He said he wanted to “get to know me more, but he promised me he was going to introduce me to his mom and dad” and I was waiting so patiently……

so in using the bathroom during those times to text Andrew, I can’t really say I remember if my digestive health was doing good or not because my whole focus was on keeping peace with Andrew, keeping it a happy relationship and not pushing him away. Not upsetting him and making him ignore me again cuz every time he came back to me, I was more on eggshells wanting so bad to keep him!!!! because when he was actually spending time with me, I was so happy and I didn’t want the happiness to end, but it always did!!! 😔💔

Also, I don’t like to talk about Jake much because it’s just too much, but Jake for YEARS was very critical of me most of the time always showing up after a break up pretending to be my “friend” who cares so much about me but yet he was consistently putting me down and I didn’t know why he was bullying me so much. So of course that kept me in survival mode. I just didn’t understand it back then.

Not until I’ve blocked Andrew AND Jake, got married to a guy nice and then Covid happened, then my eyes opened to the fact that I had been losing hair and that it’s like my gut just gave way. I started to have so much burning in my esophagus and no one knew why…… I randomly lost over 25 pounds within two weeks!! I tried to seek out a doctor, but it was during Covid and so it was hard to see a doctor in person and I started trying different medicines and of course I couldn’t eat so I lost even more weight!!! (I wasn’t a big person to start with)

After I learned about emotional abuse and learned about “flight or fight mode”, “survival mode” and then what happens when you get out of that and start to relax. Your body basically stops tightening so much and can make your gut relax but also give way. (I can’t explain it, I’m not a health expert so don’t just take my advice only. This is what what I’ve experienced.) anyway, I then began to treat myself a little differently now that I know that it’s most likely digestive issues.

i’ve started taking various vitamins, including magnesium citrate. I’m taking it in a powder form where you pour it into water and drink it, and that has helped a lot, and I was taking a probiotic digestive gummy, which I didn’t realize how much it was helping until I stopped taking it and now suddenly I’m having digestive issues again… coincidence much? For the most part, I’ve been able to eat whatever I want, but within reason, and there is certain foods, I’ve stayed away from as they are very hard to digest.

I’ve seen videos of testimonials where women say they got “sick” after or during emotional abuse but when they go to the doctor, the doctor can not find anything wrong with them … so that also makes me question IF a doctor would even find anything wrong with me or is this truly psychological? You know the body, soul and mind is all one. So your body reacts to your mindset. I’ve tried to think positively towards my body. Tried to free my mind to let myself think that I’m OK and that nothing is wrong with me but whenever I have “flareups” which is rare because I have kept my gut health under control, but the flareups are painful when they happen. It’s just so upsetting and I can’t eat. I’m sluggish too.

my only advice for right now, is to not give up. Hope to keep going on your healing journey keep growing and learning, releasing the trauma, forgiving the past and yourself learning to trust yourself again, which is a really hard one for me and having self-control in your diet. If you know, certain foods are only going to hurt your stomach, then as much as you want to eat them, maybe you shouldn’t. but this is just me. I’m not a doctor so I can’t really tell you what to do. Every person is different.

also I seen a video the other day where somebody said they rubbed some kind of magnesium oil on their feet before they went to bed and that it really helped their digestive a lot. I haven’t looked it up yet, but I am curious as to if that’ll be better than the powder form, I’m taking currently.

Praying too is sometimes hard cuz you carry so much shame and weight from the past and you feel disconnected from self and God but praying over your stomach and laying your hand on the parts of you where you believe the trauma is stored. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 I’m not crazy and you’re not crazy. Your stomach hurts and people have accused me of purposely losing weight. Idk if they think I’m trying to be “vain” or what but it’s no so 🥺🥺🥺 I didn’t ask to be a skeleton, it just happened….

#healing journal #my story #unpacking #emotional abuse #personal #personal story #vent #healing journey

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96thdayofrage · 3 years

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What is Critical Race Theory?

Basically, Critical Race Theory is a way of using race as a lens through which one can critically examine social structures. While initially used to study law, like most critical theory, it emerged as a lens through which one could understand and change politics, economics and society as a whole. Richard Delgado and Jean Stefancic’s book, Critical Race Theory: An Introduction, describes the movement as: “a collection of activists and scholars engaged in studying and transforming the relationship among race, racism, and power.”

Kimberlé Crenshaw, one of the founding members of the movement, says Critical Race Theory is more than just a collective group. She calls it: “a practice—a way of seeing how the fiction of race has been transformed into concrete racial inequities.”

It’s much more complex than that, which is why there’s an entire book about it.

Can you put it in layman’s terms?

Sure.

Former economics professor (he prefers the term “wypipologist”) Michael Harriot, who used Critical Race Theory to teach “Race as an Economic Construct,” explained it this way:

Race is just some shit white people made up.

Nearly all biologists, geneticists and social scientists agree that there is no biological, genetic or scientific foundation for race. But, just because we recognize the lack of a scientific basis for race doesn’t mean that it is not real. Most societies are organized around agreed-upon principles and values that smart people call “social constructs.” It’s why Queen Elizabeth gets to live in a castle and why gold is more valuable than iron pyrite. Constitutions, laws, political parties, and even the value of currency are all real and they’re shit people made up.

To effectively understand anything we have to understand its history and what necessitated its existence. Becoming a lawyer requires learning about legal theory and “Constitutional Law.” A complete understanding of economics include the laws of supply and demand, why certain metals are considered “precious,” or why paper money has value. But we can’t do that without critically interrogating who made these constructs and who benefitted from them.

One can’t understand the political, economic and social structure of America without understanding the Constitution. And it is impossible to understand the Constitution without acknowledging that it was devised by 39 white men, 25 of whom were slave owners. Therefore, any reasonable understanding of America begins with the critical examination of the impact of race and slavery on the political, economic and social structure of this country.

That’s what Critical Race Theory does.

How does CRT do that?

It begins with the acknowledgment that the American society’s foundational structure serves the needs of the dominant society. Because this structure benefits the members of the dominant society, they are resistant to eradicating or changing it, and this resistance makes this structural inequality.

Critical Race Theory also insists that a neutral, “color-blind” policy is not the way to eliminate America’s racial caste system. And, unlike many other social theories, CRT is an activist movement, which means it doesn’t just seek to understand racial hierarchies, it also seeks to eliminate them.

How would CRT eliminate that? By blaming white people?

This is the crazy part. It’s not about blaming anyone.

Instead of the idiotic concept of colorblindness, CRT says that a comprehensive understanding of any aspect of American society requires an appreciation of the complex and intricate consequences of systemic inequality. And, according to CRT, this approach should inform policy decisions, legislation and every other element in society.

Take something as simple as college admission, for instance. People who “don’t see color” insist that we should only use neutral, merit-based metrics such as SAT scores and grades. However, Critical Race Theory acknowledges that SAT scores are influenced by socioeconomic status, access to resources and school quality. It suggests that colleges can’t accurately judge a student’s ability to succeed unless they consider the effects of the racial wealth gap, redlining, and race-based school inequality. Without this kind of holistic approach, admissions assessments will always favor white people.

CRT doesn’t just say this is racist, it explains why these kinds of race-neutral assessments are bad at assessing things.

What’s wrong with that?

Remember all that stuff I said the “material needs of the dominant society?” Well, “dominant society” means “white people.” And when I talked about “racial hierarchies,” that meant “racism.” So, according to Critical Race Theory, not only is racism an ordinary social construct that benefits white people, but it is so ordinary that white people can easily pretend it doesn’t exist. Furthermore, white people who refuse to acknowledge and dismantle this unremarkable, racist status quo are complicit in racism because, again, they are the beneficiaries of racism.

But, because white people believe racism means screaming the n-word or burning crosses on lawns, the idea that someone can be racist by doing absolutely nothing is very triggering. Let’s use our previous example of the college admissions system.

White people’s kids are more likely to get into college using a racist admissions system. But the system has been around so long that it has become ordinary. So ordinary, in fact, that we actually think SAT scores mean shit. And white people uphold the racist college admissions system—not because they don’t want Black kids to go to college—because they don’t want to change admission policies that benefit white kids.

Is that why they hate Critical Race Theory?

Nah. They don’t know what it is.

Whenever words “white people” or “racism” are even whispered, Caucasian Americans lose their ability to hear anything else. If America is indeed the greatest country in the world, then any criticism of their beloved nation is considered a personal attack—especially if the criticism comes from someone who is not white.

They are fine with moving toward a “more perfect union” or the charge to “make America great again.” But an entire field of Black scholarship based on the idea that their sweet land of liberty is inherently racist is too much for them to handle.

However, if someone is complicit in upholding a racist policy—for whatever reason—then they are complicit in racism. And if an entire country’s resistance to change—for whatever reason —creates more racism, then “racist” is the only way to accurately describe that society.

If they don’t know what it is, then how can they criticize it?

Have you met white people?

When has not knowing stuff ever stopped them from criticizing anything? They still think Colin Kaepernick was protesting the anthem, the military and the flag. They believe Black Lives Matter means white lives don’t. There aren’t any relevant criticisms other than they don’t like the word “racism” and “white people” anywhere near each other.

People like Ron DeSantis and Tom Cotton call it “cultural Marxism,” which is a historical dog whistle thrown at the civil rights movement, the Black Power movement and even the anti-lynching movement after World War I. They also criticize CRT’s basic use of personal narratives, insisting that a real academic analysis can’t be based on individually subjective stories.

Why wouldn’t that be a valid criticism?

Well, aren’t most social constructs centered in narrative structures? In law school, they refer to these individual stories as “legal precedent.” In psychology, examining a personal story is called “psychoanalysis.” In history, they call it...well, history. Narratives are the basis for every religious, political or social institution.

I wish there was a better example of an institution or document built around a singular narrative. It would change the entire constitution of this argument—but sadly, I can’t do it.

Jesus Christ, I wish I could think of one! That would be biblical!

Why do they say Critical Race Theory is not what Martin Luther King Jr. would have wanted?

You mean the Martin Luther King Jr. who conservatives also called divisive, race-baiting, anti-American and Marxist? The one whose work CRT is partially built upon? The King whose words the founders of Critical Race Theory warned would be “co-opted by rampant, in-your-face conservatism?” The MLK whose “content of their character” white people love to quote?

Martin Luther King Jr. literally encapsulated CRT by saying:

In their relations with Negroes, white people discovered that they had rejected the very center of their own ethical professions. They could not face the triumph of their lesser instincts and simultaneously have peace within. And so, to gain it, they rationalized—insisting that the unfortunate Negro, being less than human, deserved and even enjoyed second class status.

They argued that his inferior social, economic and political position was good for him. He was incapable of advancing beyond a fixed position and would therefore be happier if encouraged not to attempt the impossible. He is subjugated by a superior people with an advanced way of life. The “master race” will be able to civilize him to a limited degree, if only he will be true to his inferior nature and stay in his place.

White men soon came to forget that the Southern social culture and all its institutions had been organized to perpetuate this rationalization. They observed a caste system and quickly were conditioned to believe that its social results, which they had created, actually reflected the Negro’s innate and true nature.

That guy?

I have no idea.

Will white people ever accept Critical Race Theory?

Yes, one day I hope that Critical Race Theory will be totally disproven.

Wait...why?

Well, history cannot be erased. Truth can never become fiction. But there is a way for white people to disprove this notion.

Derrick Bell, who is considered to be the father of Critical Race Theory, notes that the people who benefit from racism have little incentive to eradicate it. Or, as Martin Luther King Jr. said: “We must also realize that privileged groups never give up their privileges voluntarily.”

So, if white people stopped being racist, then the whole thing falls apart!

From your lips to God’s ears.

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vivithefolle · 4 years

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I just wanna ask, and don’t get mad at me cause I’m genuinely curious, how do you stan Ron? Like, I like him, but he is definitely misogynistic (slut shaming Ginny, treating hermione like she owes him something and being mad that she kissed someone years before, always objectifying Fleur, and acting like girls who aren’t pretty aren’t worth much). Like, by DH I feel like he definitely has mostly grown out of it, but still 6/7 books he’s kinda unbearable IMO

how do you stan Ron?

Like this:

OH MY GOD HAVE YOU SEEN. HAVE YOU SEEN HIM DID YOU SEE MY BABY OH MY GOD. WHEN HARRY’S ARM HAD GONE KABLOOIE BECAUSE OF LOCKHART AND HE. RON. HE WAS. HELPING HIM GET DRESSED???? OH MY GOD BABY???? HHHHNNNNGGGG. AND. AND. AND ALSO WHEN HE. OMG. WHEN HE WAS PUTTING FOOD ON HIS FRIENDS’ PLATES LIKE. MOM FRIEND ALERT MOM FRIEND ALERT MOM FRIEND ALERT. AND THE WAY HE’S ALWAYS BLUSHING AND BEING EMBARRASSED AT THE SLIGHTEST PRAISE BUT ALSO HE’S SO DESPERATELY SEEKING IT BUT HE KNOWS HE CAN’T TAKE IT AND EEK EEK EEK THAT’S SO CUTE SOMEONE HOLD ME IT’S ADORABLE RONALD WEASLEY YOU ARE SO GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME IT’S ILLEGAL TO BE THIS CUTE!!!!

Ok and then.

he is definitely misogynistic

No. And here’s why.

slut shaming Ginny

Yes, that was wrong. And guess what, that’s also something he probably - scratch that, definitely - picked up from his mother. And also his brothers, recall how Fred and George too don’t like to see Ginny go around with boys. There’s also something to recall: Ron was there when Ginny was taken into the Chamber of Secrets and learned later that it was because she had trusted an older guy. You seriously wouldn’t be paranoid about who your sister dates after that? It was wrong. Yeah. And he more than learned his lesson when Ginny clapped back by virgin-shaming him and basically told him that he was childish because he hadn’t have a relationship yet. So would that make Ginny sexist too? Or is it just for Ron?

treating hermione like she owes him something

..................... uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh... when? When the fuck did anything like that happen?

He made a prat of himself at the Yule Ball, that much is obvious. But he didn’t tell her anything like “you should be with me” or didn’t insinuate anything of the sort. He was a jealous bitch but kept attacking Krum, not Hermione.

If you mean in sixth year when he treated her with “icy, sneering indifference” for the course of two weeks, yeah that was bad but that’s not “treating her like she owes him something”, the fuck?

being mad that she kissed someone years before

Yeah. I know. And that was bad, ooooh you got me to admit Ron did bad stuff, that’s what you want to see, right? And I reckon he was also mad that she hid it from him, and that he had to learn it from his sister of all people. We see Ron handles what he considers betrayals terribly. I have some meta discussing the possibility that he has a form of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria.

always objectifying Fleur

Um... no, he doesn’t. He makes a stupid comment about her once in GOF then stops. Let’s also fucking remember that Fleur is a Veela, she literally makes guys stare at her as part of her powers!! I’m not blaming her because she’s literally born that way, but you can’t blame someone who is under magical compulsion either.

acting like girls who aren’t pretty aren’t worth much

So tell me why he was friends with Hermione then?

Because Hermione wasn’t Emma Watson the super hawt sexy model goddess. Hermione was Mrs Generic. Until this once at the Yule Ball when she got the pretty princess perfect Mary Sue makeover but then stopped because she had to remain ~relatable uwu~.

Again. Ron made stupid sexist comments. But it’s actively shown that he doesn’t follow up on them. If he did indeed live by the motto “girls who aren’t pretty aren’t worth much”, explain to me why he wasn’t simping and drooling all over Padma Patil who is explicitly stated to be one of the prettiest girls at school when she was his date? Why exactly did he ignore her and was a miserable twat the whole evening instead of basking in the joy of having snagging a girl that was “worth it”? Well surprise, it’s because HE ACTUALLY ISN’T LIKE THAT AND WHAT HE SAYS IS MAYBE SHIT HIS “COOL OLDER BROTHERS” SAY AND HE THINKS THAT BY EXTENSION IT WOULD MAKE HIM COOL TO REPEAT IT. MIMETISM, THAT'S BASIC FUCKING HUMAN PSYCHOLOGY FOR FUCKING TODDLERS MY FUCKING GOD.

Like, by DH I feel like he definitely has mostly grown out of it,

............

...................................

...............................................................

so. so why. so why wouldn’t you. use that. as a reason. to stan him.

like.

fuck all the “hurr durr ron weasley the boy who made it out of the friendzone!!!!” bullshit, let’s start going with “Ron Weasley, the Boy who became a Man, and not one of those 'uugghh im such an alpha male’ ones but one that’s got the balls to say ‘hey love, I’ve got an idea, what if you kept doing that job you love and feel passionate about while I support you and do the majority of the childcare while also working a smaller job on the side so we’re never short on money’“

Why you people gotta be “yeah I like Ron BUTT” when you know full-well this fucking awful fandom will rake him over hot coals over the slightest mistake he does - worse, will actively go out of their way to interpret his positive moments in the most negative way possible??? Fuck off with that bullshit. Ron dared to say bad stuff omygah big deal, he was forgiven for it all and you’re just all cowards looking to feel “pure” by telling yourself “oh yeah but he was problematic once uwu”. FUCK. THAT. NOISE.

but still 6/7 books he’s kinda unbearable IMO

And IMO he’s not, funny how that works

So.

I guess it’s impossible to stan Ron because he was problematic uwu.

Ok.

Then I hereby decree that it’s impossible to stan Hermione Granger because:

“I’ll bet you wish you hadn’t given up Divination now, don’t you, Hermione?” asked Parvati, smirking. [...] “Not really,” said Hermione indifferently, who was reading the Daily Prophet. “I’ve never really liked horses.” She turned a page of the newspaper, scanning its columns. “He’s not a horse, he’s a centaur!” said Lavender, sounding shocked. “A gorgeous centaur . . .” sighed Parvati. “Either way, he’s still got four legs,” said Hermione coolly. “Any-way, I thought you two were all upset that Trelawney had gone?” - Order of the Phoenix, ch 27

wow casual use of a racial slur yay!!! A+

And it’s also forbidden to stan Harry Potter either since:

It was raining hard now, and she was nowhere to be seen. He simply did not understand what had happened; half an hour ago they had been getting along fine. “Women!” he muttered angrily, sloshing down the rain-washed street with his hands in his pockets. “What did she want to talk about Cedric for anyway? Why does she always want to drag up a subject that makes her act like a human hosepipe?” - Order of the Phoenix, ch 25

and

“Harry! There you are, thank goodness! Hi, Luna!” “What’s happened to you?” asked Harry, for Hermione looked distinctly disheveled, rather as though she had just fought her way out of a thicket of Devil’s Snare. “Oh, I’ve just escaped — I mean, I’ve just left Cormac,” she said. “Under the mistletoe,” she added in explanation, as Harry continued to look questioningly at her. “Serves you right for coming with him,” he told her severely. “I thought he’d annoy Ron most,” said Hermione dispassionately. “I debated for a while about Zacharias Smith, but I thought, on the whole —” “You considered Smith?” said Harry, revoked. - Half-Blood Prince

Victim-blaming! Nice Harry, nice. Always classy.

Ok, Ginny stanning is already cancelled because she virgin-shamed Ron, right, so who’s left, who’s left... ah yeah:

“There you go,” said Fred proudly. “Best range of love potions you’ll find anywhere.” - Half-Blood Prince

Selling date rape drugs proudly ouh là là. Bye Fred.

"Do they work?” she asked. “Certainly they work, for up to twenty-four hours at a time depending on the weight of the boy in question...” “...and the attractiveness of the girl,” said George, reappearing suddenly at their side. “But we’re not selling them to our sister,” he added, becoming suddenly stern, “not when she’s already got about five boys on the go from what we’ve...” “Whatever you’ve heard from Ron is a big fat lie,” said Ginny calmly, leaning forward to take a small pink pot off the shelf.

Assuming that only girls use love potions, and only on boys. Men never rape in JKR’s world, only women do, you heard it from George Weasley here folks, I’m just passing on the message. Ah and I hope you’re also starting the Fred And George Hate Club given how he’s also slut-shaming Ginny.

“What’s this?” “Guaranteed ten-second pimple vanisher,” said Fred. “Excellent on everything from boils to blackheads, but don’t change the subject. Are you or are you not currently going out with a boy called Dean Thomas?” “Yes, I am,” said Ginny. “And last time I looked, he was definitely one boy, not five. What are those?” She was pointing at a number of round balls of fluff in shades of pink and purple, all rolling around the bottom of a cage and emitting high-pitched squeaks. “Pygmy Puffs,” said George. “Miniature puffskeins, we can’t breed them fast enough. So what about Michael Corner?” “I dumped him, he was a bad loser,” said Ginny, putting a finger through the bars of the cage and watching the Pygmy Puffs crowd around it. “They’re really cute!” “They’re fairly cuddly, yes,” conceded Fred. “But you’re moving through boyfriends a bit fast, aren’t you?” Ginny turned to look at him, her hands on her hips. There was such a Mrs. Weasley-ish glare on her face that Harry was surprised Fred didn’t recoil. “It’s none of your business. And I’ll thank you” she added angrily to Ron, who had just appeared at George’s elbow, laden with merchandise, “not to tell tales about me to these two!”

Ah, good on you for defending yourself, Ginny, but remember, Ginny stanning is prohibited because she’s been problematic in the past and is gonna be problematic in the future and that’s baaaaaaad. Careful kids, don’t get ideas. It’s problematic to like people who’ve done problematic things.

So I guess nobody can like anything or anyone now. Sorry guys. Liking things is evil, what if the thing you liked had, OR USED TO HAVE, *gasp* flaws, can’t take that risk, ohmygah.

#vivi answers #ask #ron weasley #ron weasley defense squad #ron weasley defence squad #hp fandumb #hp fandom #harry potter #harry potter series #fred weasley #george weasley #fred and george #ginny weasley #hermione granger #problematic content

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glowinggator · 3 years

Text

Domestic Headcanons

Summary: Final set of domestic headcanons, this time with our favorite pyro.

Relationship: Malicious Mickey/Reader (Established Relationship)

Content Warnings: None!

Word Count: 1095

Leonard’s Here // Danny’s Here

He looks at his life of crime a little differently from Danny & Leonard. Unlike them, this isn’t a job to him. It’s not something that comes at a cost. This is something he does for fun, and that's it. He could be a multimillionaire tomorrow and he’d still be doing the same exact thing that he does now. It was never about the money to him. He lives for the thrill of the chase, and he revels in the destruction he causes. There’s nothing that can compare to the smell of charred ash drifting down from a burning burning, the screams floating through the streets and the sounds of sirens echoing off of what few buildings remain. The fire that dances through the street is art, and does the experience of the living being not revolve around art? He doesn’t do it for the money, and he doesn’t want to exit this life. Hell, he’d die if he did. This life has embraced him and whispered secrets to him that only he understands, and it makes him feel seen in a way he’s never felt before. He doesn’t want to settle down, and he’ll do this shit till the day he dies. You’re a huge component of his life, and he’s never gonna do anything to harm you or push you away, but you have to understand that the life he leads is one that he leads out of joy, not necessity. You’re just as important as the joy he derives from the life he walks, but he can’t do an ultimatum.

However, it is nice to have a place to come back to at the end of the day. Because quite frankly, it is nice to have a home that’s your own. He loves the thrill of the hunt, but part of him really loves being by your side - for once in his life at peace with the world.

He wants to bake very badly, but he isn’t all too good at it. He’s never been one to measure things out, you know? He likes to bake with you, though! He’s a really fun baking partner, provided you don’t let him measure shit out. His favorite thing to make with you is lemon bars. He’s a citrus kind of guy.

Always comes home from the grocery store with a bunch of lifted stuff like wax melts, or candles. Food too, but he actually buys at least 25% of it. King.

Super maximalist, if only because he likes to take pretty much anything that catches his eye. However, he has a super good eye for art. You guys have a lot of gorgeous paintings in your home.

In fact, he has a really good eye for color! He’s not great at interior design, but his color sense is really good. He’s no Jean-Louis Deniot of course, but he’s great at arranging colors to make things look gorgeous and create the mood that he wants. You tell him he could have been an artist in a past life, and it never fails to fluster him.

Genuinely such a baby when it comes to psychological horror movies. Like, he loves slashers, but stuff like Oculus or Ringu? He’s absolutely gonna watch them with you because he loves the adrenaline rush, but he’s gonna have either you or your hands in a death grip the entire time.

King of button mashing on game night. Can you blame him? He doesn’t have any fucking thumbs. That won’t stop Leonard from throttling him someday.

He likes to have ambient noise on while he sleeps, although sleeping next to you has helped out with that. He gets really freaked out if he has to sleep in silence. Something about it just doesn’t feel right to him.

3AM 7/11 runs are so common between you two, it’s wild. Half the time you two will be on the way there and you’ll realize he fucking forgot his cloaking amulet at home. Much to his chagrin, you always turn back to get it. As funny as it would be to walk into a 7/11 with a literal eel, you don’t think the poor minimum wage cashier would find it as funny. Or maybe they would. You don’t know that. Either way, he totally tosses snacks over the isles for you to catch them, and tries to fill up the xl soda cups with slushies.

He takes super hot showers, so godspeed on getting a warm shower if he gets in there first.

Huge fan of ordering mystery boxes! He really likes getting snack crates and stuff, and it’s always fun rifling through them and trying everything with him.

He likes having a show that only the two of you watch together. It’s one of those really small domestic things that just make him feel loved, you know? Something about having something unique that only the two of you share is… special to him.

Totally pokes fun at you if you like watching, and I quote, “nerdy shit.” He’s still gonna watch it with you, though. It’s cute too, because he remembers what you’re interested in. Watch a documentary about Chernobyl last night? Hey babe, here’s a video on SL-1. Learning about particle physics? Hey, here’s a video on the Anatoli Bugorski Incident. He listens, he really does.

(Also this man literally has a Miku nendroid in the closet he has no fucking room to talk about nerdy shit wtf <3)

Literally sucks at cooking, so either you’re cooking or you’re gonna be ordering out a lot. He’s a bit picky, but not so much that it’s difficult to order. He likes islamic and indian food a lot!

He paces around the house a lot, provided it isn’t a time where he can go outside. Like Danny, he’ll also give you a kiss if he just so happens to slither by. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say he was going by you on purpose. (He is. You know he is. He knows that you know.)

He totally tries to get you to sing along when he plays music in the home. He totally busts out all the dumb dance moves and his Excellent singing voice to try and coax you into being silly with him.

English is actually his second language! Every now and then he’ll forget a word or two in English, and he’ll gesture to try and get his point across. After a little while of dating him, you’ve started picking up on words that he forgets most often.

#rottmnt malicious mickey #rottmnt malicious mickey x reader #rottmnt mud dogs x reader #mud dogs x reader #rottmnt x reader #rottmnt imagine

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whack-a-moron · 2 years

Note

Have you genuinely ever met a person diagnosed with NPD? Or an autistic person/neurodivergent person? Because I’m 100% wholeheartedly curious on if you’re satirical or not, I genuinely can’t tell as an autistic person. My boyfriend has NPD, and has had extensive therapy and reflects on his actions and is a healthy, loving partner. I’m more unempathetic than him, learned empathy is just as good as inherent empathy. Not everyone with NPD is abusive, and calling it narcissistic abuse is harmful because we don’t refer to any other personality disorders with abuse labels. These are people who developed a personality disorder due to childhood trauma who need help, and while their actions cannot be excused, they can be explained. It’s also harmful to use slurs towards neurodivergent individuals, and doesn’t help get your point across. You seem very hurt by something, especially with how aggressive your responses are. I hope you at least learn to not throw the r-word around, I’m sure it hurt more than just me who read it. I hope less people tell you to kill yourself, that’s not okay in any situation.

You seem to be coming at me in good faith so I'll answer you in good faith.

"Have you genuinely ever met a person diagnosed with NPD?"

Yes. More than once.

"Or an autistic person/neurodivergent person?"

Also yes. Also more than once. Also very, very close friends to some.

"My boyfriend has NPD, and has had extensive therapy and reflects on his actions and is a healthy, loving partner."

Good for him then (genuine). He would be an exception, not the rule. Regardless, some individuals who NPD who have learned better and worked on themselves exist, they are just - very, very obviously - the statistical minority.

They are also not the idiots swarming my inbox or notifications telling me to kill myself because I said something they don’t like, despite how much they want to preach otherwise and swear from the rooftops they’re “better now”.

The data is extremely clear that most narcissistic people don't change and don't benefit from therapy because they don't want to. Some will claim to change of course or put on a performance that they're changed and things will be better going forward - its something known in psychology as Future Faking. A professional who actually knows what they’re doing and has experience with NPD/narcissistic individuals will know this, and will often catch it, but there are a lot who aren’t qualified and even the ones who are are sometimes fooled.

I'm also going to go out on a limb and assume that your boyfriend was diagnosed at a younger age and got treatment at a younger age (younger than 25, 30 at the latest).

If so, and I'm guessing that's the case, there's a reason for that. A person's psychological functioning is a lot more fluid and adaptive below a certain age, easier to "re-wire" your brain essentially. A person can be diagnosed with a personality disorder and get treatment to where they basically no longer have that disorder or enact its symptoms (or can catch themselves in them) if its caught and treated early enough. It takes time and hard work but its doable - provided the person in question wants the treatment. People who are older? Like 30+? Well, good luck. Its not impossible but its far harder and more unlikely because of how brain pathing works on a physical level.

Also something that is less discussed is that there are some disorders that mimic NPD/narcissism but aren't.

C-PTSD (Complex PTSD) is one of those disorders that can look like narcissism/NPD but actually isn't, and the difference is really, really hard to spot for a lot of people. There are more people than you'd think who are misdiagnosed as "narcissistic" who actually have C-PTSD because the disorder is still ill understood and undergoing study as a relatively new "category" of mental health.

I'm not anyone's doctor so I can't say for sure either way, but I'm willing to bet that at least more than a few of the people going around claiming to have NPD from trauma but "don't fit the stigma" are being improperly diagnosed (if they were even diagnosed by a doctor at all lol There are a LOOOOOT of people who want to self-diagnose on this site to be "quirky") and actually have C-PTSD.

"Not everyone with NPD is abusive"

A lot of them are. Hence why exploitation/harm of other people is literally in the diagnostic criteria.

"calling it narcissistic abuse is harmful because we don’t refer to any other personality disorders with abuse labels."

And there are several reasons for that.

The most obvious being that NPD, as well as Antisocial Personality Disorder/psychopathy, are the only disorders specifically characterized as "having no or little respect towards other people or remorse for hurting them".

Narcissistic personalities have a blown up perception of themselves and an excessive desire for attention and admiration. Individuals with this disorder have a false sense of entitlement and little respect for other people's feelings. They are oversensitive to criticism and often blame others for their failures. Prone to outbursts of anger and irritability, the narcissistic personality tends to be manipulative in interspersonal relationships.

Individuals with antisocial/psychopathic personality disorder are known to be manipulative, irresponsible, and have a history of legal difficulties. They show little respect for the rights of others and feel no remorse for their actions. They also leave a trail of unfulfilled promises and broken hearts.

When people pull the “You don’t call it ADHD abuse!” or “You don’t call it OCD abuse!”, that is an absolutely retarded argument because “exploiting and abusing other people without remorse” isn’t literally in the required diagnostic material for having those disorders in the first place.

Its also because of how language works, which is a discussion I’ve already had on this blog. “Alcohol abuse” for instance implies and is understood that a person is consuming too much alcohol. “ADHD abuse” doesn’t work because of what I’ve already said but because with how language works it would imply the person with ADHD is being abused, not that they are the abuser. Its clunky and unclear.

Its a simple matter that “narcissistic abuse” complies with English structure without needing to be clarified into “abuse by a narcissistic person” or “abuse by a person with narcissism” to be understood.

“These are people who developed a personality disorder due to childhood trauma who need help,”

False, actually.

Not all narcissists were abused and treated horribly. Not all narcissists or types of narcissism are the same, and they don’t behave/present the same. There are types of narcissism that develop in normal settings, without abuse or trauma present. These just usually tend to be the low-grade types of narcissists who are more annoying rather than the big scary ones who do things like beat the shit out of you or kill your dog.

It also assumes that everyone who is abused will develop a personality disorder, when that’s clearly not the case. Its like when people go around claiming someone is only a criminal because they’re poor, despite the vast majority of poor people aren’t criminals and don’t commit crimes. There is a biological component at play.

I don’t disagree they need help. But again, the data is pretty damn clear most won’t seek it and most who do won’t benefit from it because they’re put into therapy by a 3rd party because of the damage they’ve done to other people (be it family, friends, court order, etc) rather than by their own willingness to want to change.

Self-awareness also isn’t always a good thing with narcissists, because more often than not it implies they know their actions hurt and they just don’t care, which is the common theme.

“and while their actions cannot be excused, they can be explained.”

Cool. Explain away. I’m still not going to stop calling people out for abuse.

If you’re an asshole, you deserve to be called an asshole.

“It’s also harmful to use slurs towards neurodivergent individuals”

Lol. Except I don’t. I just use it for screechy internet idiots who could have actively chosen any other path in life such as using the block button or ignoring opinions they don’t like but instead decided the sane, logical, and well-adjusted response is to tell people they don’t agree with to die.

I’ve known lots of neurodivergent friends. They all know better. All of them are quite frankly blatantly insulted by the “but I’m neurodivergent!” excuse instead of owning their harmful behavior.

“I’m neurodivergent!” isn’t an excuse to be an intolerable cunt and at that point you’re a retard by choice and I’ll call you as such. Retard isn’t a thing you’re born with in my corner of the world, its a thing you actively choose to be because you can’t be bothered with self-accountability. Ironically, that’s a pretty prominent narcissistic trait.

“You seem very hurt by something, especially with how aggressive your responses are.“

Nah, I just have opinions some people hate and I match energy for energy because why not.

Come at me as a screechy internet asshole, I have no reason to be polite to you. Abusive dickheads don’t deserve respect.

#narcissism #narcissistic abuse #npd #narcissistic personality disorder #antisocial personality disorder

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elizabeethan · 3 years

Text

Watch The Sunlight Fade: 3 / 18

Emma Swan finds out that her boyfriend has been hiding something from her: he’s in a gang and trying to get out. Reluctantly, she decides to support him, sticking it out with him until they have enough money to flee to Florida. All she has to do is wait and ignore that feeling in her gut that something is seriously wrong. With the help of a kind and handsome stranger, she just might make it out alive.

Or, alternate summary: I’m horrible at summaries, please just read it.

Something of a cross between a What Still Remains AU and a Sons of Anarchy AU.

A/N: You may have noticed a chapter count! It’s subject to change, but I’ve outlined the whole story and have written halfway through chapter 12, so we’re getting there, friends. Reminder to check warnings and tags and message me if you have questions. There will be depictions of violence, domestic violence, very very brief discussions of non-con (kind of) and psychological abuse throughout this story.

Rated M

Get added to my tag list

Read the Rest

Read my Other Stuff

Read on Ao3

~~~~

The door to his apartment slams behind her as she stumbles in, the alcohol in her veins obviously taking over as he helps to steady her. “Easy,” he warns, hand on her waist as he guides her towards the guest room.

“You’re not gonna let me stay in bed with you, big guy?” she slurs, giving him a flirty smile.

“No, love,” he answers softly. “You need rest.”

With a giggle, she answers, “I get paid to have sex with people. Shouldn’t you be flattered that I’m soliciting you?”

“Tink,” he laughs, “I am very flattered. But you need to go to bed.”

“I can still give you a good time even though I’m drunk, you know,” she promises, letting her fingers dance along the lapels of his jacket.

“I know that, love. I just think… perhaps it’s time to… bring this arrangement to a close.”

She pouts, her bottom lip popping out and her brows furrowing. “Something I said?” she asks.

With a slight shake to his head, he smiles shyly down at her and brushes a wayward strand of her honey locks out of her eye. “No, but perhaps we can finish this tomorrow morning when you’re sober?”

Tink shrugs, letting her heavy kids fall closed and turning around to stumble down the hall. “It’s okay,” she says as she finds the doorknob. “I know it’s that blonde girl.”

“Liv…” he starts, although he isn’t sure where he’s going as he begins to speak. It’s not the blonde girl, not really. Although he felt a connection to her from the moment he saw her, he also knows that his and Tink’s fling is just that: a fling. It can’t last, and while he likes her well enough, he thinks it unfair to continue on with something to which he isn’t fully dedicated. “It’s not you.”

She snorts and nods her head lazily, letting it flop a bit too freely on her neck. “It’s not you, it’s me. I get it.”

“Hey,” he tries again, giving her a soft smile as he tucks away the same defiant strand of her hair. “I’ll always be here for you, you know that. I’ll always have love for you.”

“Yeah,” she smiles with a soft blush, her lids looking heavier and heavier with each passing moment. “I love you, too, bud. It was probably a bad idea to sleep with your best friend anyway.”

“I’m not sleeping with Robin,” he deadpans, knowing with certainty that it’ll draw a hearty laugh from her. She pushes against his shoulder with more force that she was likely expecting and turns around to open the door to his guest room.

“You dolt.” Once she’s in the room, just as she’s about to shut the door behind her, she spins quickly to face him once more. “By the way, you’re a total idiot if you go after her.”

“Bloody hell, not you too,” he complains as he scratches behind his ear.

“She belongs to Cassidy and you know it. You know what’ll happen if you pursue her.”

“Aye, that’s why I have no intention of doing so. Now, go to bed, Olivia.”

“Ooh,” she fakes a shudder, “full name; I must've been naughty.”

“Aye, you were. Goodnight, love.”

“Night, KJ.”

He listens to her giggle as she stumbles through the room, one she’s stayed in countless times before. She’s right; they probably never should’ve started their affair in the first place. Sleeping with your best friend is bound to end badly. But they understand each other, each of them here with hardly a choice on whether they stay or go. It isn’t as if they’re being held against their will, but the implication is that they’ll seriously regret it if they try to leave, one way or another. They simply both took comfort in knowing that someone else felt as they did.

He’s about to go to bed himself, ready to rid himself of the guilt that came along with the events of the day, but he pauses as he walks by his front door just in time to hear a resounding thud coming from across the hall. He panics and swings his own door open when he hears the terrified cry in response. He heard something earlier today that sounded exactly like that terrified cry.

Rushing over to Neal’s apartment, he places his hand on the knob and presses his ear to the door. He doesn’t want to burst in with haste since he has no idea what he actually heard, and the door must be locked anyway. But he can’t help but recall the image of her pressed to the door looking horrified, two knives on either side of her throat. He can’t get the look in her eyes out of his head.

There aren’t anymore sounds resonating from the apartment, silence falling over him as he attempts to listen out for signs of trouble. After a moment, all he hears are soft, painful sobs coming from the other side of the door.

~~~~

It’s surprisingly even more terrifying to be in the shop during the day than it was at night. At least when she was here last night, the shadows kept the frightening details of the space hidden, but now that the sun is up and streaming through the small basement windows, she’s able to see too much.

She can see the aged and worn paint on the walls, giving her an automatic and infallible feeling of unease. She can see the decorative weapons proudly displayed on every inch of every wall. She can see the rugged violence on each of the men’s faces so clearly in the sunlight. Being here terrifies her.

“Morning, Miss Swan,” Peter greets as Neal leads her into the large meeting room. He’s already sitting at the table waiting for them, Gold at his right and two empty seats to his left. There are several other members at the table as well, and she can’t help but notice how bright Killian’s eyes look in the sun streaming through the windows. “Welcome to your first real family meeting.”

The others around the table laugh, everyone but Jones seeming to find his joke about her near death experience to be funny. “Aren’t you going to say hello?” Neal asks in her ear, his voice low and his teeth clearly clenched.

She clears her throat and gives Peter the fakest smile she can muster. “Good morning.”

“That’s a good lass,” he praises, setting free a flock of anxious butterflies in her stomach. “Come sit. We saved you a seat by Neal.”

They sit side by side, and it’s becoming easier and easier to question his ranking within the group of men at the table. She finds it impossible to see him as a simple lackey when his name is carved into the table in intricate lettering in front of his chair, directly to the left of Peter's seat at the head.

There are talks of their plans, and she gathers some information easily while they seem to go to great lengths to keep other things hidden from her based on the threatening glances Peter doles out from time to time. There’s a trip coming up, and it’s automatically assumed that Neal will be going with Peter and Gold will be staying behind, as if this arrangement was made and agreed upon a lifetime ago. Once the other attendees are determined, Peter turns to face her and gives her a smile.

“Now, a job for you, my dear. Neal tells us you have a talent in finding people.”

“She can find anyone,” Neal says proudly, referring to her short stint as a bail bondsperson back when she lived in Boston. When she had met Neal after he witnessed her taking down a skip, he took her under his wing and told her she didn’t have to live such a dangerous lifestyle anymore. “Well, almost anyone.”

Her stomach flips at his hint; at his willingness to bring up one of the most painful memories she has. She’s great at finding people, but in 25 years, she still hasn’t been able to find her parents.

Pan hums. “We can look past a few failed attempts. What we need from you now, Emma, is your skillset to find a certain someone who deserted our cause.”

She gulps. “You want me to hunt down someone who doesn’t agree with you?”

“No love,” he laughs, and Neal’s grip on her hand tightens just a notch. “I want you to find someone who has valuable information and won’t hesitate to hand it over to a rival.” Emma bites her lip in thought, concern likely colored across her face. She hadn’t considered the existence of a rival gang before this moment, and she becomes frightened to think of there being more than one set of men like them. The thought that another gang is out there and considers themselves rivals to The Lost Boys means she’s potentially putting herself in even more danger by becoming associated with them. What will another gang do to the girlfriend of one of their rival’s members, especially a member whom she suspects is higher up in the rankings than he’s letting on?

“It’s not lost on me that you’re feeling uncomfortable here, Emma. The tension between you and Neal is perfectly palpable. But I’d implore you to let go of your fears; no one here will harm you. We’re here to protect you. By simply being associated with Neal, you have the protection of everyone in this club. And I’m sure it makes perfect sense that we would expect something of you in return for our unquestioning devotion to your safety.”

Although something about his words makes her suspicious, she suddenly feels a sense of strength at his claim that she’s a part of the group now. It’s as if he’s telling her that her thoughts and opinions matter, so she makes a bold choice and speaks up. “Can I clarify something?” she asks.

“Of course.”

“What are you protecting me from, exactly?”

Peter smirks and shakes his head, giving Neal a look that she can’t quite read. “I suppose Neal hasn’t informed you of how dangerous a place this world can be for a woman like you, Miss Swan. Your love for Neal makes you a target, as does Neal’s love for you. By falling for him, you’ve also fallen into our world. And because we’re so devoted to what you have to offer, we will protect you from everyone who may want to hurt Neal.”

“Just because I can find people pretty easily?” she asks doubtfully. His explanation isn’t making any sense to her. She can’t rectify in her head how loving Neal can equate to requiring constant protection, especially based on his claim that he’s going to be leaving soon.

“No, Emma,” he laughs condescendingly, as if he were talking to a child who couldn’t handle the truth. She wonders if he’s right. “Worry not; all will make sense to you as time goes by. For now, let's get started with your first assignment. Hook, show the lady to her office.”

~~~~

“Most sites are blocked here,” he explains as he powers up the old desktop, groaning softly as he stands again. “You’ll likely run into trouble if you try to find him on Facebook or anything.”

“Why?” she asks, and although she immediately regrets opening her mouth, the look he gives her feels more amused than anything.

“Why?”

“Um… why are they blocked?”

He breathes out a laugh, shaking his head and looking away from her once he notices that the computer has booted up. “To keep you out of trouble, I suppose.”

She bites her bottom lip, squeezing her fists until she feels the sting of her nails digging into her palm. She isn’t sure that, in the last day since she’s come here, she’s been kept out of trouble at all. She’s been in trouble-- in danger-- since she heard those bikes pulling up behind her and Neal.

“Right,” she says softly, sarcastically, and again, she kicks herself for opening her mouth. She wonders what would have happened to her by now if she was with anyone but Jones in this moment.

“Love,” he starts, his voice soft and tender, and she almost wonders if he intends to step close to her. Perhaps he means to comfort her. “I’m--” he clears his throat, “If you need anything…”

Their eyes meet, and it’s like the first time again. His azure stare bores into her in a way that makes her shudder, but not out of fear this time. She feels seen, understood, and while it’s only been a day since her traumatic greeting from the club, it feels like a lifetime since she’s felt a sense of safety. It feels comforting to meet his gaze, and she suddenly lets her breathing steady and her heart rate settle. “Thank you,” she whispers genuinely. She isn’t sure how she could relay it to him if she does need something, but the way he looks at her tells her that he’ll know.

For the first time since she’s been here, her safety appears to be a priority to someone. Relief washes over her and she lets it, despite knowing that it will dissipate the moment he walks out the door.

~~~~

“How’s it goin’ in here, my little worker bee?”

She looks up from the computer she’s been staring at, met by Neal leaning against the door jamb with his arms crossed. The dinosaur she’s working on is hardly functioning, most sites she’s tried blocked and inaccessible and the speed at which it loads each page almost painful. After almost a week of working on the assignment they’ve given her, she’s found almost nothing.

“Hi,” she mumbles, turning back to the screen. All they had given her was a name and a last known location, and she’s struggling to find more.

“Doing alright?”

“I can’t find much,” she says.

“You’ll find him; you’re smart. I wonder if that’s genetic,” he says with a laugh and a smirk in her direction. She isn’t sure what he means or how to respond, so she simply smiles somewhat awkwardly and moves on. She refuses to let herself wonder if this is another dig at her for being parentless.

“It just feels impossible. This guy, Graham… are you sure he even exists?” she jokes.

He laughs, but it’s forced and she doesn't detect a genuine smile. “Are you doubting Peter?”

Emma looks up at him, meeting his eyes with confusion colored in her own. “No,” she starts, although she isn’t sure if she’s being truthful in her answer. “It’s just…”

Neal shoves away from the door and slinks closer to her, bending at his knees and squatting until his eyes meet her level. “Ems,” he starts, his hand landing on hers and applying what she thinks is meant to be a comforting amount of pressure. “Don’t start.”

“What…?”

He groans and leans away from her. “It's not a damn secret that you aren’t happy to be here. I need you to be better about that.”

She lets her jaw hang open for a bit longer than she means to, shock taking over her as he confirms what she’s been suspecting since the meeting she attended. “Neal,” she starts, “you’re the one who said you want to get out. You said we could leave after a few weeks.”

“And?”

“Uh… and… it’s been a week and you don’t seem like you’re… I mean… it seems like you're happy here.”

“So what?”

“What do you-- so what? You said we were leaving and now it’s like they're your family!”

Neal stands quickly, spinning from her in exasperation as he thrusts his hands into his hair. “You’re being so-- stop judging me! What do you even have to complain about?! They’re being nothing but nice to you. You have a home now, I feed you, I love you, we protect you… I don’t get what your damn problem is!”

“The knives, Neal!” she shouts, unable to hold back the emotional response to his nonsensical claims. “You threw knives at my head!”

There's a loud smack against the desk she sits at, and she’s brought back to the reality of her experience and out of the false sense of control that she let herself believe she had. She has to force herself to move on from the thought that she and Neal are able to have a conversation. When she looks down to where his hand met the surface, she sees his gun held beneath his palm. She pales.

“It’s time to move on,” he hisses quietly, his voice taking over the silence of the room. It’s another threat. Another convenient way to show her that he has power over her. That he can take everything away from her, even her life, in a second if she gives him a reason to. “You weren’t in danger, baby,” he says, his voice more soothing this time, drawing from her that feeling again. The feeling that she’s overreacting. “I had it under control, remember?” he asks, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

She sighs heavily at the feeling of his lips tracing along her jaw until he reaches her neck. “You did?” she asks weakly. With his sudden change in demeanor, his obvious desire not to make her feel unsafe anymore, she feels something shift between them.

“Of course I did; don’t be stupid. You know I did.”

It feels good, she lets herself realize. As her eyes slip closed and a soft breath escapes her lips, she makes herself relax into his touch. With her sense of sight cut off, she feels herself giving in to his touch in favor of feeling some sense of relaxation after a week of hypervigilance. His rough stubble scratches at her skin, something she normally doesn’t like, but right now, she doesn’t think she minds too much. With her eyes shut, the rest of the world closed off from her mind, she thinks she could appreciate some stubble.

She feels the smooth leather of his sleeve under her fingertips and she likes it. Sure, she’s always thought the leather jackets were sexy, but here and now, something about him in it becomes more appealing. But when his hand creeps up her waist, his touch a bit too rough, too domineering, she flinches.

“Shh,” he hisses softly, attempting to soothe her. “It’s alright.”

At the sound of his voice, something snaps within her and she stiffens. It sounds wrong, she realizes. “Wait,” she murmurs as his hand creeps under her shirt.

He breathes out a disbelieving laugh. “Seriously?”

“I just,” she starts, nervous as he pushes away. “We’re… I mean, we’re here.” She gestures around the room, hopeful that her discomfort at the thought of sleeping with him in this office where anyone could walk in is clear.

“Right. So when we get home, you’ll be more than willing?” he asks doubtfully, rolling his eyes.

“Neal,” she begs softly, unsure of where she went wrong. She’s unsure of how she could have messed this up when she was the one to express her own discomfort. “Please.”

“Please,” he mimics, his voice rising in pitch. “I’ll see you in a week.”

With that, confusing words exchanged between them, he’s out of the room, the door slamming shut behind him.

@courtorderedcake @kmomof4 @stahlop @klynn-stormz @laschatzi @emelizabeth88 @lfh1226-linda @kday426 @elisethewritingbeast @timeless-love-story @captain-emmajones @gingerpolyglot @ebcaver @ilovemesomekillianjones @teamhook @superchocovian @itsfabianadocarmo @tiganasummertree @gingerchangeling @jrob64 @onceratheart18 @xhookswenchx @winterbaby89 @swampmedusa @ultraluckycatnd @dancingnancyy @love-with-you-i-have-everything @shireness-says @snowbellewells @hollyethecurious @ouatpost @daxx04 @the-darkdragonfly @donteattheappleshook @therooksshiningknight @eeteeaytay @xsajx @itsfridaysomewhere @alexa-fangirl-forever @jonesfandomfanatic @wefoundloveunderthelight @qualitycoffeethings @rapunzelsghosts @spaceconveyor @badcats-andmice @batana54 @sailtoafarawayland @deckerstarblanche @zaharadessert @xarandomdreamx @pirateprincessofpizza

#Watch the Sunlight fade #Sunlight ff #captain swan fanfic #captain swan angst #cs ff #gang au #captain swan au #modern au #angst with a happy ending #tw: domestic violence

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goodwriterwithbadhabits · 3 years

Text

Love Letters

I have no idea how this turned out, I opened a word doc, blacked out and ended up with this.

Master List

~~ “I would write you poems until my hands worked no more. Would play you music until my fingers bled. Shakespeare himself would have to rise from his tomb to stop me writing you sonnets. No words will ever convey the love which spills from my heart, but I will try to do so every day.” Johnny reads the letter loud, a smile on his face as he looks over at you. You’re certain your face conveys the sheer horror you’re feeling, and judging from the laughter that bubbles from him, it does. You’re frozen in the doorway of your own dorm room, staring at the man lounging in your desk chair, the man who’d just found your second best kept secret. “So, how much does it cost to get one of these letters?”

“What are you doing?” His eyebrow hikes up at your question, and he gestures to the stacks of envelopes and the typewriter sitting on your desk.

“You’re the one writing all the love notes around campus right? What if I want to send one to someone?” You blink at him a few times, still in shock, but step into the room properly and shut the door.

“How’d you find out about this? Who told you?” You question, dropping your backpack on the floor and crossing your arms over your chest. He mimics your pose, though still in your chair.

“Who said anyone told me?” He challenges, “I figured it out.”

“Bullshit. I’ve been doing this for almost two years and no one’s been the wiser. The only people that know are my customers, so who told you?” He’s silent for a moment, not pretending not to size you up. You can feel your heartbeat in your chest, and part of you wants to celebrate having your crush alone in your dorm room, but the other part of you remembers he’s here for a love letter, not you.

“Are you going to stop writing for them if I tell you?”

“Maybe, or maybe I’ll just revoke their long term customer pricing. Who was it?”

“Yuta.” Your eyes roll automatically at the name, you should have known it was him.

“Of course it was. Did he refer you, or did he just tell you?” Johnny shrugs, clearly loving how annoyed you’re getting.

“Maybe both. You haven’t answered my question.”

“One time letters to someone are 25, self letters are 35. If you’re wanting a long term contract it depends on the frequency of the letters, contents and subject.” You finally relent, trying not to let the disappointment cloud your voice.

“What’s the most expensive contract you have?” You motion for him to get out of your chair, which he shockingly does, so you can grab your clientele binder and find your contract sheets. He flops down on your bed while you work, watching you flick through the almost shockingly thick binder.

“Someone pays me 75 dollars every other month to write three page long letters to send to his girlfriend overseas.” You tell him, pulling out a contract, “This contract is legal, by the way, I had a friend of mine in law school draft it. I only write the letters, I don’t deliver them and I am not responsible for the reaction of the recipient. You can’t get me in legal trouble if things backfire, nor can you demand a refund. You cannot ask for personal information about other clients, and no I won’t tell you if you’re giving a letter to someone who is already receiving letters. Any questions?” You finally look up from your contract, locking eyes with the boy sitting on your bed.

“Would you handwrite a letter for me, or is it typewriter only?”

“I try not to handwrite letters, just in case someone might recognize my handwriting.” He smiles again, and you have to look away, trying not to blush. God, how did you get so unlucky? When you had started writing these letters, it was because of your crush on Johnny. Your roommate freshman year had found a letter you’d never planned to send and asked if you would write one for her to give to the girl she liked. From there, your little business blossomed, and now you had upwards of 30 clients, all paying you to write about Johnny without knowing.

“Do I have to tell you who my letter is for?”

“Nope, all you have to tell me is whether you know them personally or not, and if there’s something about them you want me to talk about.” You drop your binder on the desk, turning to face him once more. “I’ll also need your contact info, phone number or email preferably. I take cash, venmo, and cashapp, you have to pay before your first letter, and if you make it a long term thing, then you pay upon receiving the letter.” He nods, his lower lip sticking out slightly.

“OKay, lets do one letter for now, and depending on their reaction, we’ll see about sending more.”

“No problem, just fill this out for me, and we’ll get started.” You pass him the contract and a clipboard to write on. “For the first letter, I always have my clients tell me about the person they’re wanting me to write about, that way if you meet face to face, the letters still sound like you.”

“What’s your major again?”

“Psychology, with an English Lit minor.”

“Makes sense.” The two of you are quiet for a moment while he fills out the form, and you take the chance to package some letters, ironically, one was for Yuta, who was definitely getting a scolding when he came to pick it up. “Alright here.” You don’t look at him, only extend your hand for him to place it in. You can feel him watching you as you finish up your work, marking who still has to pay for your work. “So, have you ever written a letter for someone, like from you?”

“Yes and no.” You weren’t sure why you even answered.

“What do you mean?” You sigh, putting your papers away so you can move the typewriter front and center.

“Every letter I write is about the person I like, that’s how it started.” You explain, “Yeah, it sounds like I’m writing about someone else, but it’s always about him.”

“Ever had to write one for him?” You can tell he’s actually interested in this, but you shake your head, not wanting to talk about it more.

“Don’t worry about my love life, Johnny, lets work on yours.” You grab a notebook, spinning to face him, ready to take notes. “Tell me about your person.”

If you told me you were Eros, I would believe you. From the moment I saw you, the arrow of love had pierced my heart and rendered it useless to all others. Were you a god, I would be your most devoted priest. My lips would sing your prayers and praises until there was no oxygen left at your altars. Your mind rivals that of Shakespeare and Einstein, and I wish on every star that one day I may be privy to your innermost thoughts. Your eyes hold the universe, and your hands: my heart. You fill my dreams, and soothe my nightmares. Had I an ounce more courage, I would say these words to your face, but in truth, no words could accurately depict the love I have for you. It bubbles from my heart, courses through my veins and clouds my mind. I would give you the world, the moon and all the stars in the sky if you only asked, but now I can only give you this letter and hope you will not think ill of me. Yours ever, Johnny

“Here, all done.” Johnny barely has the chance to knock on your door the following day before you’re shoving the lilac envelope in his hands. “It’s not super long, but it’s pretty expressive, if you want more just let me know, I hope they like it.” You don’t give him the chance to reply, instead just shut the door and try not to start crying instantly. Every word you had said was true, and he was about to give it to some rando. You wanted to cancel every other letter people had asked for, so tired of writing about a love you couldn’t have. A knock on your door makes you huff, just wanting to lay down for a while. “What?” You demand, swinging the door open to find Johnny still standing there. He holds the envelope out to you, his other hand deep in his pocket.

“Here.”

“Do you not like it? I can rewrite it.” You offer, hesitating to take it. No one had ever hated what you’d written, to say it was a bit of an ego crusher was an understatement.

“No. No it’s amazing, its everything I wanted to say. You did an amazing job.” He extends his hand again, not looking you in the eye. “But its for you.”

“What?”

“When I learned it was you-” He huffs, “Look, I’ve had a thing for you since English 101. You’ve always been super smart and gorgeous, but I’ve been too scared to say anything cause you were always writing these sweet things, and I figured they’re for someone else, so I didn’t want to pressure you into something. But I might not get accepted into my Masters and I didn’t want to leave without saying-”

“Johnny.” He stops speaking the second you say his name, his eyes snapping up to yours. Your face is warm, and you can feel your eyes watering.

“What’s wrong?”

“You.” The bewilderment on his face is almost funny.

“Me?”

“Yes you. Every single letter I’ve ever written has been about you. Even this one. I wrote you a love letter only to have it be for me.” You can’t help but laugh at the irony of it all.

“Wait, really?” He’s laughing a little as well.

“Yes you idiot. I’ve been so scared Yuta had told you, I was even gonna go cry once you left.” You admit, wiping at the tears that were falling.

“Oh no, don’t cry.” He pulls you close to his chest, his head resting on yours. “Let me take you for lunch. Then maybe you can tell me some of those sweet things you’re always writing about me.” You both laugh at this, pulling away from him.

“Don’t think I’m going to let this ruin my business, Johnny Suh, I’ve still got to pay for my coffee habits.”

“Only if I get to read the letters first.”

“Deal.”

“And I get to see your client list.”

“Not a chance.”

#johnny suh imagines #johnny suh imagine #johnny suh #johnny nct #nct johnny #nct imagine #nct imagines

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pub-lius · 3 years

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A Debunking and, in my Humble Opinion, Superior Version of Weird History’s “Hardcore Facts About Alexander Hamilton”

I haven’t updated my blog in quite some time, and that is due to my schedule being primarily dominated by school. So, I decided my first step into posting semi-regularly once more shall be a more casual, more fun endeavor.

If you have not heard of the Weird History youtube channel, good for you. It is yet another social media platform that misconstrues history to appeal to the public’s enjoyment of extremes and strangeness. I saw The Historical Fashion Queens make a video responding to their highly misinformed documentary on corsetry on Miss Abby Cox’s youtube channel, which I highly recommend. This intrigued me, and I decided to find a video I could dissect off my expertise, at first only for fun in my own time. This resulted in the production in a very long bullet list in the notes app of my phone. So here is my informal destruction of this godforsaken video.

Disclaimer: I am not at all excusing any of the awful things Alexander Hamilton did during his lifetime. I am absolutely the last person who would even come near to claiming that many of the things he did were justifiable in the slightest. Although, he might be the only historical figure which I have a very strong interest in the life of, as he was incredibly complex, and the part of me with a love of psychology finds him absolutely fascinating. There is also something to be said about the way we consider moral standards of historical figures. We are quite lucky to believe in the time that we do, and not all of our standards can apply to historical figures. This does not mean they should not be held accountable. I find that a way to criticize people while also praising them where it is due is by judging them based upon their intentions. In my opinion, Hamilton’s intentions were not to harm anyone in most situations, so I don’t think he was a terrible person, nor do I think he was a particularly good one. Then again, I don’t think either of those things about a mass majority of people, so let us proceed without further delay. (Note: I will also be referring to the collective Weird History channel as the Narrator to avoid any mental gymnastics, and all of my knowledge is coming from my memory of Hamilton’s writing and some biographies.)

Automatically, the video starts with mention of the musical, but that just reminds me that many use Ron Chernow’s biography of Hamilton as a basis of their statements about him without utilizing much critical thinking, so I am slightly nervous.

The Narrator then refers to Hammy Ham man as “...one of America’s most undervalued founding fathers...” Now, it is debatable whether or not Mr. Hamilton is undervalued per se, but when it comes to the founding fathers, they are usually undervalued or overvalued. At this point, Hamilton is both.

I shall not subscribe, thank you for the offer though, Mr. Narrator.

Now for the first fact: “Historians don’t know when Hamilton was born.” Yes, this is correct, but I don’t believe this should be labeled as “hardcore”, but perhaps that is just me. One early document indicates that Hamilton was born in 1755, while all later ones point to 1757 as his year of birth. We know Hamilton was not always a completely honest man, so it is possible that he lied.

Also, they show an image of a baby, and I do not know if this is actually Hamilton, but they use a lot of strange imagery, which I found humorous.

“A self-made man born out of wedlock.” Now, this fact could indeed be “hardcore”, if this was not colonial America we are discussing. Hamilton actually wasn’t really special in this regard. Yes, his rise to fame was impressive considering his circumstances, but this wasn’t unheard of.

The Narrator then says that Hamilton’s mother, Rachel Faucette, was “estranged from her husband.” This caused me some confusion as it is a vast understatement. Her ex-husband was absolutely awful to her.

Additionally, they claim that James Hamilton left his family behind for some reason that I did not write in my notes, but the most likely reason that he actually left was because of his awesome debt. James Hamilton also had a history of ambitious pursuits for money, so it would not be extreme to claim that he moved to another island to attempt to make a fortune in some trading endeavor.

They also cease to mention the Stevens family, who housed young Alexander while he was working for Beekman and Cruger, and had a great influence on him, but I digress.

“A college dropout who joined the Revolution.” Once again, this isn’t special. Many rowdy young Whigs left behind their careers and educations for pursuit of military fame in the Continental Army. They also do not mention anything of Hamilton’s expansive military career, which aside from being indicative of primitive research, but would produce more “hardcore facts.”

Although, they do discuss his application to Princeton college, which is interesting enough I suppose, although everyone who has heard the first two songs of the musical knows this story. His proposal for an “accelerated course of study” was likely inspired by Aaron Burr, as claimed by Chernow and Miranda, or James Madison, as supported by evidence provided by author Noah Feldman in his novel, The Three Lives of James Madison, which is an excellent read. Young Madison, having already completed a course, decided to do so again, but compacting a usually three year course into a shorter period of time. He hardly slept during this period, which was stressful upon his health, making Princeton more disinclined to allow a similar course to be taken.

The Narrator then claims that Hamilton “formed his own militia of 25 men.” Technically, yes? But not exactly. Hamilton joined a paramilitary group called the Hearts of Oak, and they drilled in Trinity Churchyard. This became ironic later. He then became a captain in the New York Artillery Company, and enlisted his own men, which was at one time around thirty or so, if my memory serves me correctly.

“Founded a bank that existed for over two centuries.” Ah, yes, a very hardcore fact indeed. Yes, Hamilton did establish the Bank of America, but Robert Morris was the one who inspired him to do so. Though, I do think the financial plan is a product of his own genius, but I will get into that much later.

I got an ad. :(

The Narrator also says that the misfortunes done to the New York shipping industry by the Articles of Confederation were the most prominent, if not sole, motivation for Hamilton to concoct his financial plan. He first recognized the need for a sound financial plan when he was in the army. You know, when he was watching men die of inadequate supplies because the government couldn’t tax the states.

This video, like Chernow’s biography and Miranda’s musical, claims that Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr were friends when, in actuality, they weren’t really. Yes, they knew each other, and they didn’t hate each other until the end of Hamilton’s life, but they really didn’t think about each other much before the Election of 1800.

“Hamilton authored over half of the Federalist Papers.” Indeed, he did! I enjoy this fact. It isn’t very “hardcore” but it is very impressive. The Federalist Papers were arguably Hamilton’s greatest accomplishment, as he organized the entire thing and, as previously stated, authored much of them. I very much enjoy the Federalist Papers, as they give some insight as to Hamilton’s political and philosophical theories, as well as how he thought of the world. It makes for an interesting read if you have something you’re looking for.

Now, this may be a hot take, but Madison’s essays are by far more effective, as they were better organized. Hamilton and I share a common flaw, and that is the lack of brevity.

“Involved in America’s first sex scandal.” Yes, we all know. I’ll get into the Reynold’s affair later because it’s its own beast to conquer. Basically what you need to understand information I shall provide later in this post is that James Reynolds extorted money from Hamilton, and if Hamilton failed to pay, Reynolds would expose the affair Hamilton was having with his wife, Maria. Hamilton paid, but when Reynolds was arrested for something else, he exposed Hamilton anyway.

“He worked with Aaron Burr to defend a man.” Once again, this isn’t very surprising. They were both capable lawyers in the same area, so it was basically inevitable. Though there was this one instance where Hamilton and Burr were working on a case together and Hamilton, being himself, insisted upon having the last word. Well, Burr was tired of him, and I can’t say I blame him, so he made every possible argument in his finishing speech, leaving Hamilton with virtually nothing.

The Narrator also mentions Hamilton’s opposition to slavery, but he didn’t really outwardly oppose it as much as you would think listening to the musical or reading Chernow’s biography. Far from being the “fervent abolitionist” Chernow and Miranda glorify, Hamilton didn’t really do much for the enslaved. He helped John Laurens in his Black Plan and joined the Manumission Society, but other than that, he never made any attempt to progress the abolition of slavery. He also “purchased” slaves for his in-laws, and some argue that he “owned” some himself, but there is no contemporary evidence to support this that I have seen. The enslaved and servants that were in his household likely belonged to his wife.

“Founded a newspaper that still exists.” Ok.

“Died by duel.” I swear, this fact is by far the most unnecessary. They mention the duel so many times that it is already redundant. I completely skipped over this part, and the video ended, so I was thoroughly underwhelmed.

Well, seeing as this post is already longer than my attention span, I shall save you the pains of having to read any more in just one post. I shall make a follow-up to this where I give my own facts, which I believe are far more hardcore than “he founded a newspaper.” I hope you have enjoyed and this isn’t too terribly boring. I hope to get back to posting soon.

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justsomerandomfanfic · 1 year

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My Prompt List: 2023

For those who can't find it :)

Random Dialogue Prompts For Requests:

Requests are open

🥰 = Fluff 😢 = Angst 🤕 = Hurt/Comfort 😜 = Random

______________

1. “But this is the only thing that’s made the last three years bearable.” 🤕

2. “What do you mean, he’s escaped?” 😜

3. “So, you’ve been living in denial all these years?” 😢

4. “I miss moments like this more than anything.” 😢

5. “Go and live with her then! See if I care!” 😢

6. “Quick! Go hide behind the sofa!” 😜

7. “You must be mad to show up here.” 😢

8. “No! I am tired of doing what you say!” 😢

9. “Darling, it’s beautiful, thank you!” 🥰

10. “What a thing to say – and on my birthday of all days!” 😢

11. “Could you be happy here with me?”🤕

12. “You’ve only heard his point of view. You never asked mine.” 😢

13. “You’ve taken her back!? Are you serious!?” 😢

14. “For some reason, I’m attracted to you.” 🥰

15. “I’ve been checking you out all night.” 🥰

16. “We can’t invite them over. Mother hates them.” 😜

17. “Give me one good reason why I should wear a dress.” 😜

18. “I don’t think I could live alone again.” 😢

19. “You were supposed to be watching him!” 😢

20. “You did a bad thing for a good reason.”

21. “What aren’t you telling me?” 🤕

22. “Don’t go. Please.” 🤕

23. “Did I mention this is life or death?” 😜

24. “Where is your sense of adventure?” 😜

25. “Why are you looking at me like that?” 🥰

26. “I feel safe with you.” 🥰

27. “Wait. Did you hear that… There’s something in the walls.” 😜

28. “It’s nothing. It’s just a bruise.” 🤕

29. “You were talking in your sleep.” 🤕

30. “See? I’m not just a pretty face.” 😢

31. “You don’t have to walk me home.” 🥰

32. “I’ve got you back, okay?” 🥰

33. “You’re not human, are you?” 😜

34. “Jealous!? I am not jealous!” 😢

35. “Stop trying to hide your emotions from me.” 🤕

36. “You’re kind of a mystery to me.” 🥰

37. “Have you always been this hot?” 🥰

38. “Kiss me… Kiss me as if it were our last.” 🥰

39. “Have a drink with me. Promise I’m not a creep.” 😜

40. “This is… Literally illegal. You’re describing something illegal.” 😜

41. “Surprised to run into you here… And of all places, my mother’s funeral.” 😢

42. “Can we put aside our differences for a second?” 😢

43. “Let’s go somewhere. Just you and I.” 🥰

44. “Everything is always about you.” 😢

45. “I don’t always need you to fix everything. I just need you to listen.” 😢

46. “Do you remember when we first met?” 🥰

47. “Let me do this, for you.” 🤕

48. You see this!? This is real life!“ 😢

49. “Why are you laughing? This is a very serious situation.” 😜

50. “Why do you hate me?” 😢

51. “We never should’ve kissed - that was our first mistake.” 🤕

52. “Don’t you see? I did this all for you!” 😢

53. “Why should I trust you?” 😢

54. “Can you look at me, please?” 🤕

55. “Why can’t we just get along?” 🤕

56. “Snap out of it!” 😢

57. “Are you kidding me!? We’re not ‘fine!’” 😢

58. “Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But, emotionally? Imagine the toll.” 😜

59. “So, apparently, the ‘bad vibes’ I’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological stress.” 😜

61. “With great power comes great need to take a nap. So don’t wake me up.” 😜

62. “You seem familiar. Have I threatened you before?” 😜

63. “She doesn’t understand you like I do.” 😢

64. “Please! Stop it! All of you!” 😢

65. “If you leave me now, you lose everything.” 😢

66. “It’s not every day I fall for a pretty person like you.” 🥰

67. “How long have you been there?” 🤕

68. “Well? What happened? Tell me all the details!” 😜

69. “Don’t die on me!” 😢

70. “I’m in love. And I’m scared.” 😢

71. “I always keep my promises.” 🥰

72. “Let me go.” 😢

73. “Are you serious? You’re bleeding out!” “So? I’m hungry.” 😜

74. “Will you get off me, my whole body’s numb.” “No, I’m very comfortable.” 😜

75. “You are single-handedly the reason I have anxiety.” 😜

76. “Stop being so dramatic.” 😜

77. “I can almost hear you pouting.” 😜

78. “I watched you walk into the room and my heart went ‘Boom!’” 🥰

79. “Home is wherever you are with me.” 🥰

80. “No, I don’t hate you.” 🤕

81. “I dare you.” 😜

82. “Let it go! Let it go! Can’t hold it back anymore!” “Oh, god, not again.” 😜

83. “Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?” “It’s a gun.” “Oh sh-” 😜

84. “Just because you wear black, doesn’t mean that you’re the reincarnation of Wednesday Addams.” “Imma gonna ignore you while I dance dance dance with my hands hands hands.” 😜

85. “Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?” “I want a divorce.” 😜

86. “I love you.” “I love me too.” 😜

87. “Wanna dance to the Kahoot Theme song while we wait for our pizza?” “Sure.” 😜

88. “Hydrate or diedrate.” 😜

89. “It’s a beautiful night, and we’re looking for something fun to do! Hey, baby! I think I wanna marry you.” “No.” 😜

90. “Why is your ID picture a pumpkin?” “Because you can cut me open, take out my guts, and put me out on your porch for three months.” “Uh… Huh?” 😜

91. “Why did you just lick my ice cream?” “Uh, cause I was hungry?” “I don’t even know you.” 😜

92. “Wanna play hide-and-seek?” “What are you? Five?” “… Yes.” 😜

93. “Want me to shower you in love and affection?” “The only shower I want is one with nice hot water, and you are one-hundred feet away from me.” 😜

94. “We’re just friends.” “But that can change, right?” 😜

95. “Now that’s a booty.” “Stop looking in the mirror, you weirdo.” 😜

96. “Uh, why do you have a room full of dolls?” “They’re not dolls. They’re my family.” 😜

97. “I’m not doing it. You keep killing me.” “Well, it’s not my fault you suck at Minecraft.” 😜

98. “I think I need therapy.” “Why go to therapy when you can have friendapy!” “That’s it! I’m moving out!” 😜

99. “I can’t find my glasses.” “Good. They made you look like a nerd.” 😜

#prompts #dialogue ideas #dialogue prompt #dialogue inspiration #dialogue

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joshjacksons · 3 years

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Joshua Jackson interview with Refinery29

Against my better judgement, and at the risk of losing any semblance of journalistic objectivity, I start my conversation with Joshua Jackson by effusively telling him what a dream come true it is to be talking to him. See, like many millennial women who grew up watching the late ‘90s and early 2000s teen drama Dawson’s Creek, Jackson’s Pacey Witter means a lot to me. Pacey is one of the rare fictional teen boys of my youth whose adolescent charisma, romantic appeal, and general boyfriend aptitude hold up all these years later (unlike The O.C’s Seth Cohen or Gossip Girl’s Chuck Bass) and that is due in large part to the wit, vulnerability, and care Jackson brought to the character.

It’s the same intention he’s afforded all of his famous roles — Peter Bishop in Fringe, Cole Lockhart in The Affair, and even as a 14-year-old in his first acting gig as sweet-faced heartthrob Charlie Conway in The Mighty Ducks. Now, Jackson, 43, has matured into a solid supporting actor (with memorable turns in Little Fires Everywhere and When They See Us) and as a leading man who can draw you into a story with just his voice (Jackson’s latest project is narrating the psychological thriller and Canadian Audible original, Oracle, one of the over 12,000 titles available today on Audible.ca’s the Plus Catalogue) or find humanity in the most sinister men (he’s currently playing a sociopath with a god complex in Dr. Death). His magnetic pull is as evident as it was when he was the guy you rooted for in a show named after another guy’s creek. Jackson has never seemed to mind the fact that so many people still bring up Pacey decades later, and that’s part of why as an adult, he’s one of the few childhood crushes I still have on a pedestal. I tell him just a tiny slice of this, and Jackson graciously sits up straighter and promises to bring his A-game to our Zoom exchange. Jackson is in what appears to be an office, flanked by mess, like a true work-from-home Dad. He and his wife, fellow actor Jodie Turner-Smith, welcomed a daughter in the early days of the pandemic in 2020, and he tells me that fatherhood and marriage are the best decisions he has ever made. Jackson and Turner-Smith are a rare Hollywood couple who choose to let us in on their love, but not obnoxiously — just through flirty Instagram comments and cheeky tweets. Their pairing is part of Jackson’s enduring appeal. It’s nice to think that Pacey Witter grew up to be a doting dad and adoring husband, even if his wife’s name is Jodie, not Joey.

Jackson is an animated conversationalist, leaning into the camera to emphasize his points — especially when the topic of diversity comes up. White celebs don’t get asked about racism in Hollywood the way their counterparts of colour do, and when they do, they’re usually hesitant at best, and unequipped at worst, to tackle these conversations. Jackson is neither. He’s open, willing, and eager to discuss systemic inequality in the industry he’s grown up in. It’s the bare minimum a straight white man in Hollywood can do, and Jackson seems to know this. When he ventures briefly into trying to explain to me, a Black woman, the perils of being Black, female, and online, he catches himself and jokes that of course, I don’t need him to tell me the racism that happens in the comment section of his wife’s Instagram. The self-deprecating delivery is one I’m familiar with from watching Jackson onscreen for most of my life, and seeing it in person (virtually) renders me almost unable to form sentences. Jackson’s charm is disarming, but his relaxed Canadian energy is so relatable, I manage to maintain my professionalism long enough to get through our conversation. Refinery29: Your voice has been in my head for a few days because I've been listening to Canadian Audible Original, Oracle. What drew you to this project and especially the medium of audio storytelling?

Joshua Jackson: The book itself is such a page turner. I also love the idea of those old radio plays. It's like a hybrid between the beauty of reading a book on the page where your imagination does all of it. We craft a little bit of the world, but because this is a noir thriller married with this metaphysical world, there's a lot of dark and creepy places that your imagination gets to fill in for yourself.

I'm noticing a trend in some of the roles you've been taking on lately, with this and Dr. Death, these stories are very dark and creepy. But so many people still think of you as Pacey Witter, or as Charlie Conway, the prototypical good guys of our youth. Are you deliberately trying to kill Pacey and Charlie?

JJ: I'm not trying to kill anybody — except on screen [laughs]. It's funny, I didn't really think of these two things as companion pieces, but I won't deny that there may be something subconscious in this anxiety, stress-filled year that we've all just had. That may be what I was trying to work out was some of that stress, because that's the beauty of my job. Instead of therapy, I just get someone to pay me to say somebody else's words. So, yeah, that could be a thing [but] the thought process that went into them both was very different. Even though this is a dark story, [lead character, police psychic] Nate Russo is still the hero. [Dr. Death’s] Christopher Duntsch very much is not at all. I can't pretend to know my own mind well enough to be able to tell you exactly how [these two roles] happened, but it happened.

That might be something that you should work through with an actual therapist. JJ: Exactly. Yeah, maybe real therapy is on the docket for me [laughs].

So I was listening to Oracle and you're doing these various creepy voices — I’m sorry the word “creepy” keeps coming up.

JJ: Are you trying to tell me something? You know what? I wanted to skip straight to the creepy old man phase of my career. So, it sounds like I'm doing a good job.

You're doing amazing, sweetie [laughs]. So, I was thinking you must be really good at bedtime stories with your daughter doing all these voices. Or is she still too young for that?

JJ: No! She's all the way into books. Story time is my favourite part of the day because it gives me the opportunity to have that time with her just one-on-one. Her favorite book right now is a book called Bedtime Bonnet. Every night I bring out three books, and she gets to pick one. The other two shift a little bit, but Bedtime Bonnet is every single night.

I love that. Since you're married to a Black woman, you know a thing or two about bonnets. JJ: Yeah, well I'm getting my bonnet education. And I'm getting my silk sheet education. I'm behind the curve, but I'm figuring it out [laughs].

You said in an interview recently that you are now at the age where the best roles for men are. And I wonder if you can expand on that and whether you think of the fact that the same cannot be said for the majority of women actors in their 40s?

JJ: What's great about the age that I'm at now as a man is that, generally speaking, the characters — even if they're not the central character of this show — are well fleshed out. They're being written from a personal perspective, usually from a writer who has enough lived experience and wants to tell the story of a whole character. Whereas when you're younger — and obviously I was very lucky with some of the characters that I was able to play – you're the son or the boyfriend, or you're a very two-dimensional character. It's gotten better, but still a lot like you're either the precocious child or you're the brooding one. I will say that while I would agree with you to a certain point for women, I think that this is probably the best era to be a not 25-year-old-woman in certainly the entirety of my career. And it is also the best time to be a Black woman inside of the industry. There's still more opportunity for a 40-year-old white man than there is for a 40-year-old white woman, but it is better now than it has ever been. The roles that women are able to inhabit and occupy and the opportunities that are out there have multiplied. If I started my career in playing two-dimensional roles to get the three-dimensional roles, most women started their career in three-dimensional roles and end up at “wife” or “mom.” And that's just not the case anymore. There's just a lot of broadly diverse stories being told that centre women. So you're right, but in the last five years, six years I would say, there has really been a pretty significant shift.

And I think that shift is happening because who's behind the camera is also changing. JJ: Right? Who holds the purse strings. That's big. Who gets to green light the show to begin with? You have to have a variety of different faces inside of that room. And then, who's behind the camera. What is the actual perspective that we're telling the story from? The male gaze thing is very real. Dr. Death had three female directors. The central character of Dr. Death is an outrageously toxic male figure. Who knows more about toxic male BS than women? Particularly women who are in a predominantly male work environment. So these directors had a very specific take and came at it with a clarity that potentially a man wouldn't see, because we have blind spots about ourselves. We're in a space where there's a recognition that we've told a very narrow band of what's available in stories. There's so many stories to be told and it's okay for us to broaden out from another white cop.

I hope that momentum continues. Okay, I have to tell you something: I’m a little obsessed with your wife, Jodie Turner-Smith. JJ: Me too. As you should be! I love how loudly and publicly you both love on each other. But I need you to set the scene for me. When you are leaving flirty Instagram comments, and she's tweeting thirsty things about you, are you in the same room? Do you know that the other one is tweeting? What's happening?

JJ: We're rarely in the same room [writing] the thirsty comments because that usually just gets said to each other. But, look, if either of us misses a comment, you better believe at night, there's a, "Hey, did you see what I wrote?" One, she's very easy to love out loud and two, she's phenomenal. And I have to say, the love and support that is coming my direction has been a revelation in my life. I've said this often, and it just is the truth: If you ever needed to test whether or not you had chosen the right partner in life, just have a baby at the beginning of a pandemic and then spend a year and a half together. And then you know. And then you absolutely know. I didn't get married until fairly late in the game. I didn't have a baby till very late in the game and they're the two best choices I've ever made in my life.

I'm just going to embarrass you now by reading one of Jodie's thirsty comments to you. She tweeted, “Objectifying my husband on the internet is my kink. I thought you guys knew this by now,” with a gif that said "No shame." JJ: [laughs] That sounds about right.

She's not the only one though. There's this whole thirst for Joshua Jackson corner of the internet. And it feels like there's been a bit of a heartthrob resurgence for you now at your big age. How do you feel about that?

JJ: I hadn't really put too much thought into it, but I am happy that my wife is thirsty for me. What about the rest of us? JJ: That's great for y'all, but it's most important that my wife is thirsty for me. Good answer. You're good at this husband thing. You recently revealed that Jodie proposed to you. Then it became this big story, and people were so surprised by it. How did you feel about the response? JJ: Thank you for giving me the opportunity to give context to this story. So I accidentally threw my wife under the bus because that story was told quickly and it didn't give the full context and holy Jesus, the internet is racist and misogynist. So yes, we were in Nicaragua on a beautiful moonlit night, it could not possibly have been more romantic. And yes, my wife did propose to me and yes, I did say yes, but what I didn't say in that interview was there was a caveat, which is that I'm still old school enough that I said, "This is a yes, but you have to give me the opportunity [to do it too]." She has a biological father and a stepdad, who's the man who raised her. [I said], ‘You have to give me the opportunity to ask both of those men for your hand in marriage.’ And then, ‘I would like the opportunity to re-propose those to you and do it the old fashioned way down on bended knee.’ So, that's actually how the story ended up.

So, there were two proposals. I do feel like that is important context. JJ: Yes, two proposals. And also for anybody who is freaked out by a woman claiming her own space, shut the fuck up. Good God, you cannot believe the things people were leaving my wife on Instagram. She did it. I said ‘yes.’ We're happy. That's it. That's all you need to know. That has been a real education for me as a white man, truly. The way people get in her comments and the ignorance and ugliness that comes her way is truly shocking. And it has been a necessary, but an unpleasant education in just the way people relate to Black bodies in general, but Black female bodies in specific. It is not okay. We have a long way to go. Jodie is such an inspiration because it seems like she handles it in stride. She handles it all with humour and with grace. JJ: She does. And look, I think it's like a golden cage, the concept of the strong Black woman. I would wish for my wife that she would not have to rise above with such amazing strength and grace, above the ugliness that people throw at her on a day to day. I am impressed with her that she does it, but I would wish that that would not be the armour that she has to put on every morning to just navigate being alive. That's a word. That's a word, Joshua Jackson.

The 13-year-old in me needs to ask this. We are in the era of reboots. If they touched Dawson's Creek — which is a masterpiece that should not be touched — but if they did, what would you want it to look like? JJ: I think it should look a lot like it looked the first time. To me, what was great about that story was it was set in a not cool place. It wasn't New York, it wasn't LA, it wasn't London. It wasn't like these were kids who were on the cutting edge of culture, but they were kids just dealing with each other and they were also very smart and capable of expressing themselves. It's something that I loved at that age performing it. And I think that is the reason it has lived on. We have these very reductive ideas of what you're capable of at 16, 17, 18. And my experience of myself at that point was not as a two-dimensional jock or nerd or pretty girl. You are living potentially an even more full life at that point because everything's just so heightened. [Dawson’s Creek] never talked down to the people that it was portraying. That's one of the things that I loved about it as a book nerd growing up. The vocabulary of Dawson's Creek was always above my level and that was refreshing. To go back to the “diversity” conversation, you can't really make a show with six white leads anymore and that’s a good thing. But I also don't know how I feel about taking a thing, rebooting it, and just throwing Black characters in there.

JJ: I hear that. And there's certain contexts in which it doesn't work unless you're making it a thing about race, right? If you watch Bridgerton, obviously you're living inside of a fantasy world, and so you're bringing Black characters into this traditionally white space and what would historically be a white space. And now you are able to have a conversation about myth-making and inclusion and who gets to say what and who gets to act how. So that's interesting, but I don’t think you’re just throwing in a Black character if you changed Joey to a Black woman [or] Pacey to a Black man. What you're doing is you're enriching the character. Let's say one of those characters is white and one of those characters is Black. Now, there's a whole rich conversation to be had between these two kids, the political times that we live in, the cultural flow that is going through all of us right now. I think that makes a better story. All these conversations around comic books in particular like, "Well, that's a white character." It's like, Man, shut up. What are you talking about? It is a comic book character! Joey and Pacey don't have to be white. Dawson and Jen don't have to be white. And this is what we were talking about a little bit earlier. We get better the broader our perspective is, both as humans, but also in the entertainment industry. So if you went back to a story like [Dawson’s Creek], what was important in that show was class not race, which I think is true for a lot of small Northeastern towns. They are very white. But if you brought race into that as well, you don't diminish the amount of the stories that you can tell. You enrich the tapestry of that show. So I think that would be a great idea.

Make Pacey Witter a Black man in 2021 is what I just heard from you. JJ: Hashtag ‘Make Pacey Witter A Black Man’. There we go!

#joshua jackson #refinery29 #interviews #jodie turner smith #dawson's creek

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