#I just want to nuzzle his face and hug him and aaaaAAAA!!!

[themeeplord]

We Meet Again ⋆°✩

Fanart of @naffeclipse‘s In Deep Dreams Between the Waves.

[herehavesomeheadcanons]

Guys I finally got to see the new episode. It's finally happened. SIGMA HAS BEEN ANIMATED!!!!!! AAAAAAAA MY BELOVED BABY BOY IS FINALLY HERE!!!!

So, in honor of his anime debut, I present:

Sigma Being Needy for Affection~

🤍🎰 Let's be real here, this poor man is incredibly touch-starved. He was first found by human traffickers, passed around like a bad flu, and almost murdered several times by the people who wanted to use him for his ability. Not a fun life.

🤍🎰 It should come as no surprise that he almost starts crying the first time you hug him. This is the first gentle touch he's ever had. Literally. Within seconds he's addicted.

🤍🎰 Cuddle him. please. And stroke his hair. He'll be so happy. This poor, sweet man works so hard all the time. Just let him relax and unwind.

🤍🎰 Poor Sigma has so much work to do every day that when he can finally take time off, he's beyond needy. He'll cling to you like a desperate puppy. It's impossible for you to say no to his pleading voice and adorable face!

🤍🎰 He isn't very subtle with showing you how needy he is. He'll walk up and hug you from behind, nuzzling into your shoulder. He'll also grab your hand and press it against his cheek. If you're sitting down, he'll sit next to you and practically climb into your lap (even if you're a lot smaller than him!).

🤍🎰 If he could, he would cuddle you for HOURS on end. It doesn't matter if you're watching TV, talking, napping, or just enjoying each other's presence. He just wants to be held, or to hold you. Either works, so long as you're as close to him as physically possible.

🤍🎰 Tell him how wonderful he is and how much you love him. He will melt.

🤍🎰 Force him to take time off from his work sometimes. Heaven knows he needs a break, but he always pushes himself way past his limits. Literally drag him away if you have to.

🤍🎰 Make him a nice dinner (if you can, otherwise just procure nice food somehow). Afterwards, just smother him in affection. Snuggle him on the couch or bed and kiss every inch of his face. Stroke his hair and rub his back. Make that boy feel loved and cared for!

🤍🎰 He's going to fall asleep in your arms. All the time. He's so tired, and being cuddled up against you makes him feel so relaxed. I don't see why you would complain, he's simply adorable!

🤍🎰 Please just give him the love and affection he deserves, he's such a wonderful man. He needs to be loved on.

[lorelexi]

Some bnha boys brushing your hair (Ft. Todoroki, Bakugou, Shinsou, Mirio, Amajiki, and Iida, separately)

Read the Haikyuu ver. here!!

Warnings: none! Very fluffy

These are really self indulgent so they aren't too inclusive for hair type as I have 2B/2C hair,,, so I apologize in advance 😔

A/N: Some my hero boys brushing your hair. Personally I think this is a really sweet act of intimacy and I think I would cry if anyone ever brushed my hair for me

---

Todoroki

• sweet, sweet boy

• first he has you sit down in front of him, in between his legs and gets to work

• he is so gentle, it makes my heart melt 

• starts at the ends like you taught him and just carefully works his way up, getting out all the tangles and knots without hurting you

• probs whispers really cute things to you while he’s working

• you’re grateful that he can't see your embarrassed expression

• examples include “your hair is so pretty my love, I think it suits you so well”

“Thank you for letting me be close to you like this, I love you.”

• can you hear me squealing?😭😭😭

• when he’s done he kinda just nuzzles his face in your hair and wraps his arms around you from behind🥺💙

• you thank him and he just kisses your temple and tells you that he’s glad to anytime 

• AAAAAAAA

Bakugou

• *shivers*

• even though he’s usually very rough around the edges, obviously he doesn’t want to hurt you so he tries so so hard to be gentle

• he’s gonna have his little slip ups occasionally where he tugs on a knot a little too hard but for the most part he does good

• I like to think that y'all probably do this at the end of a stressful day because it’s a way that you can both wind down and still be with each other and not having to worry about too much talking when you’re both tired

• I think Bakugou uses this as a sort of stress relief as well; he can just sit there and just focus on doing one thing, one brush stroke at a time

•  you make a small noise if he tugs too hard and he mumbles an “i'm sorry” every time and presses a kiss to the area where your jaw meets your ear to make up for it 😖🧡

•  similar to todoroki, when he’s with his job he rests his chin on your shoulder and reaches his arms around you and takes a hold of your hands gently so you can play with his fingers🥺

• he’s not verbal about it but you know that he likes it, so you do it as a lil thank you for his brushing your hair for you 

• i love boys so much what the fuck is up w that

Shinsou

• toshi. toshiiiiiiiiii 😭😭

• i alr know this one is gonna get me in my feels dude

• honestly I feel like he’d shower with you too if that’s something you would feel comfy with

• nothing nasty, just pure, relaxing time that you guys can spend together

• he’ll wash your hair for you!!!

• he’ll even follow your hair routine

• anyways back to the subject at hand,,, my bad

• another gentle boy who wants to make sure you're happy and comfy the whole time,, maybe might give ur scalp a lil massage too???if you want 

• Im telling you guys, it’s like he was made for this or something, he just is able to put you at such ease and it is so comforting and warm💜🥰

• when he’s all done he most DEFINITELY uses a hand to sweep all of your hair to one side, exposing your neck where he places the absolute sweetest kiss 😳

• AAAAAFJBGBGB

• you smile at him with soft eyes and turn to give your good boy a proper kiss for his hard work

• you also return the favor because you know Toshi really loves it when you brush/play with his hair too

• however he’ll lay with his head on your lap so that he can admire you from where he is 

• grr yall are SO CUTE!!!!

• sorry,, sorry,,,, I got so carried away with this one I just rlly love him yk

Mirio

• why are all of these boys literally so sweet!!!!

• ok ok mirio is definitely the one who makes it like a whole event

• he’ll brush your hair (really softly mind you) and then when he’s done he’ll massage your shoulders and neck lightly and he’ll press kisses to your skin occasionally and it’s so warm and delightful

• you might let out a content sigh here and there and he’ll be like “does that feel nice doll?”😭

• when he’s all done he’ll probably do something cute like bring you a nice warm drink and give you a nice big kiss on your forehead 🥺

• “there you are sunshine”

• lots of hugs and cuddles afterward because I just KNOW this man is so good for cuddles

Amajiki

•my soft baby boy 😭

• when you ask him if he can brush your hair for you he's so sweet about it 

• "you want me to brush you hair? If you're sure, then of course, angel"

• he just wants to make sure you're comfy 🥺

• he's probably the most gentle out of all of them

• Softly just combing through, stroke after stroke, working out knots as smooth as he can

• puts his hand behind the brush whenever he gets tangles so that he can take the pressure off your scalp and not hurt you 😭💜

• if he ends up tugging too hard he'll just softly go "sorry baby" 😭😭😭😭😭😭

• when he's done you take his hands and press kisses to them and thank him and he swears his heart is gonna leap out of his chest

• he's so glad to help you in any way possible, baby boy 🥺

Iida

• Iida gives me some really soft vibes actually,,like I think his presence would be pretty comforting actually🥺

• prolly makes tea (or whatever your drink of preference is) for you both before you sit down

• if this is the first time he's brushing your hair for you, he listens very intently when you explain to him what you would like him to do

• asks you questions to make sure he’s doing everything right hehe

• “I just want to make sure I’m doing everything the best way that I can sweetheart.”

• you appreciate his dedication

• Ok ok I read this fluff headcanon by @katsukari that Iida likes to read with you and I think that that is SO perfect

• he sits behind you softly combing through your hair while you read a book out loud

• sits there with the softest smile listening to your voice 😭

• after he’s all done, he’ll kiss the top of your head before taking you into his arms for a big hug AAAA

• this mans would give such nice hugs, I mean come on, have u seen his beefy arms

[jennyluvsgoshiki]

goshiki cuddle hcs i beg,,,

a/n: your wish is my command!!!! i loved writing this and i hope you like it!! stay safe and drink lots of water!

goshiki tsutomu cuddle headcanons (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ𓇼

- aaaaaaaa (;0;) he's so soft when he cuddles~

- kinda shy to initiate it so he just kinda walks over to you and opens his arms.

- that's his signal that he wants dem cuddles(≧▽≦)

- when you go in for that hug-signal, you put your legs on his waist as he carries you to bed/couch/anywhere comfy.

- he likes to lie on your chest a lot and that's often he position he falls asleep the fastest.

- he also likes to the honeymoon cuddle, where he can nuzzle in your neck and just hide in there.

- if he feels like being a tease he'll bite your cheek, resulting in you slapping his arm.

- LOVES when you play with his hair or massage him. immediately dozes off.

- let's not talk about how much he loves to lay his head on your lap while you do skin care on him. man is in heaven.

- claims he's a big spoon....but...

- i think we all know that's not the truth.

- ''can i be the big spoon for tonight?''

- ''NOOOOOOO!!~''

- ''...''

- ''ok, maybe.''

- he ended up loving it and has been the little spoon more often.

- he kisses you so much, during cuddle sessions, it's just wow-

- he's just an affectionate lad, that's all.

- there's also instances where he hold your hand while cuddling.

- if you fall asleep first, tsutomu's gallery is now FILLED with photos of your weird facial expressions. but there's cute ones as well!

- you want revenge, when he first falls asleep, you draw on his face and take bunch of photos and send it in multiple group chats you're in ( ᐖ )

~ the end ~

[rottenrodentruby]

And now... Pinky Suavo headcanons because I can~ <333

While purple is his favorite color, he also loves red and pink.

Valentines Day is his favorite holiday

Likes the lovecore aesthetic

Wears both cologne and perfume (mostly the ones with a rosey fragrance)

Would definitely wear makeup (I can see him using eyeliner and purple eyeshadow for his lavish looks)

Suavo sleeps with a pair of purple satin silk pajamas on with a matching eyemask. The top is long sleeved and buttoned loosely with black frills at the end of the sleeves. The bottoms are shorts also with black frills.

Suavo wears his usual purple robe loosely because oooo seggsy aaaAAAAAAAAAA-

Loves to read angsty romance novels. And ones that are steamy don’t @ me-

Bisexual chad like all Pinkies

Theater kid (totally did not steal that headcanon from Sil-)

A very dapper gentleman who respects women. Take it or leave it.

Strawberry is his favorite ice cream flavor

LOVES alcoholic beverages. Mostly likes champagne, fancy liquor, wine (especially Rosé), vodka, cocktails and even alcohols that are considered “girly”.

Suavo likes to decorate things with roses despite Brain’s allergies.

Wears nail polish 💅

Is a good singer and would definitely do karaoke, love songs, and sing you serenades.

Suavo is a big ol’ softie for someone he loves inside and out and is very good at making the first mood and flirting.

Can dance very well. Not only do I imagine him being a disco man, I can also see him doing ballet and stuff like that.

Suavo purrs when he’s being fluffy with you and it’s the most soothing thing to listen to. You’re practically play dough.

Certified fashion icon he will rock any outfit he wears

His fur is silky smooth and soft~. It even smells good with whatever cologne/perfume he’s wearing.

A top. That is all. /j

Loves doing photo ops for magazine covers, albums, etc. he especially does pinups too~.

Bathes with bubble bath and rose petals in his water and candlelight because yes

Suavo would enjoy listening to smooth jazz to relax, even when he’s spending time with you.

Despite being skinny AF, he also has a little bit of muscle too! He can look like a twig and you can still grate cheese on his abs-

I just imagine Suavo doing tango with you

Likes to have latte and a croissant in the morning because French

Suavo will not tolerate anyone not pronouncing croissant as “kwason”

Not only can he sing he can rap 😎

I imagine that Pinky Suavo is an expert in therapeutic massage

Flexible AF

A very sassy boy

Okay, now I’ve recently seen people complaining that Pinky Suavo does not have his verbal tics and doesn’t show any neurodivergent qualities. My ADHD having ass begs to differ. Pinky is still neurodiverse even when he’s Suavo! So here’s why, along with some neurodiverse headcanons sprinkled in.

“Yeeeees~!” is his main verbal stim/tic.

He slicks his hair and ears back as a stim.

Dance, fashion, and music are his hyperfixations.

Suavo twirls his mustache like it’s a fun little fidget toy! <3

He’s hyper empathetic, especially towards someone he loves like you <3

Definitely would be the type of man to imagine badass andsexy music videos of himself to some music.

I can just imagine Suavo having texture issues when it comes to certain articles of clothing

Mumbles incoherent French to himself when he’s feeling overstimulated

Would definitely dance and/or sing as a stim

Wrist flicks as a stim

Still says narf, zort, poit, etc. but doesn’t do it in public very often because he fears he’ll be frowned upon for doing so.

Pinky Suavo does masking because he fears that nobody would like to see a celebrity being openly neurodiverse when that isn’t true.

Off topic but it pissed me off when the fangirls became disgusted by Pinky Suavo being neurodivergent and rejecting him. It shows how hurtful ableism can be, especially when it comes to media and the entertainment industry.

Suavo’s facial expressions would sometimes stay as one expression like some ND people have. Like his bedroom eye look for example.

Has no need to mask when he’s around you because he knows you love and support him

Now it’s time for some self indulgent simpy fluff headcanons so don’t throttle me I just love him a lot

Pinky Suavo loves it when you sit on his lap (he’s very comfy)

Pinky Suavo loves soft silky textures, even ones like your smooth warm skin. He loves to kiss it when he’s all cuddly and fluffy with you.

He will wrap his tail around your waist like it’s a belt of love

His body is so warm and snuggly and it’s perfect for cuddling

Suavo’s heartbeat is super soothing and it makes it fun for you to listen to

Suavo loves to give you neck kisses

Affectionate and passionate towards you at the same time

Playing with his mustache makes him a blushy and flustered mess

Loves to carry you and just hold you in his arms~

You and Suavo will discuss hyperfixations together with no end and no problems

Suavo loves to play with your hair. He’ll also style it all up, make it pretty and decorate it with rose hair clips (or better yet, flower crowns).

Pinky Suavo will not hesitate on pampering you. You’re like a little Barbie doll and he loves you a lot.

You would also flirt with him too. His charisma has rubbed off on you. And whenever you do flirt with him, he becomes all gushy and lovey doveyyy~.

To tease you, he says “narf” in a prolonged purring tone. Your legs become jelly and your skin is shrouded with goosebumps each time you hear it.

H A N D H O L D I N G

Calls you fluffy pet names like mon amour, mon cheri, rose blossom, baby, deary, darling, etc.

You would also give him pet names too. He LOVES that.

Cuddles and hugs you like a koala when you and him sleep together. He wants to be as close and snug to you as possible.

He will become H Y S T E R I C A L if anything bad happens to you, even when it’s a minor injury, like a paper cut.

If you’re ever having a bad day, Pinky Suavo will make the effort to comfort you until you’re feeling better again. Whether it be cuddling in a blanket and exchanging nuzzles and kisses, or a slow dance session alone with him in his bedroom.

Tummy is soft pillow,,,, S O M F T

Pinky Suavo wants to make every date with you impressive as possible when he really doesn’t have to. All that matters is that you love him and spending time with him. And him hearing you tell him that makes him so happy that he hugs you and kisses your face all over and AAAAAAAA-

cw // suggestive ................................................................................................................... Makeout sessions with Suavo are *chef’s kiss* c'est magnifique

Duets with Suavooooooooooo

He would definitely be the kind of man to feed you snacks on dates

Now I just imagine you and Suavo becoming so affectionate for each other you happy stim together~

Okay I think that’s all the headcanons I have! If there’s any more you would like me to add here, leave a reply under this post! Thanks and I hope you love this!

[skullvins]

will you gush about vintage to this random anon message?

YES HI I WILL

where to even START I LOVE HIM I love him so mcuhtgy fjwkejtjtktn I love him

This is gonna get incoherent I'm sorry

He's just so cute and squishy I wanna give him a huggnsksejrk I hold him....... In my srmssmekfjdkekelfnmg im queer

I went on this walk with a friend today and nature and shit and I just wanna go exploring with vin!!! I wanna find new places with him!!!! I want him to take my hand and drag me somewhere....... Have this doodle I did ksbfkdnd

he's just so GOOD he's so CUTE aaaaaaaa I could hold him for hours...... I'm so in love with this squid my QPP SQUID......

I just enebrjfhshhrrhheheeheheheh giggles incoherently and cuddles my plushie and thinks about him and gives my vintage plushie a tiny little kis

I wanna pick him up and smile at him like an idiot and have him roll his eyes and smile back and then I give him lots of love and affection and he complains because I'm flustering him and he has stuff to and I'm just like tough shit I'm holding you now and he's like guess I'll accept my fate and then I cuddle him even MORE

can i just pick him up? Can I just carry him round while I chat with Avi and the S4? Can I pick him up for funsies and have someone just ask me a question and I just answer while holding him? and then when they leave just turn to him and smile and maybe rub cheeks with him or nuzzle into his hair or give him a tiny little kis on his head?

can we just chill..... chat or watch something or play games....... drink tea or hot chocolate........... eat stupid amounts of snacks........ tuck ourselves under blankets....... Can I hit him on the head with a pillow and then chase him round the house with it...... can I just tackle him into a hug and pick him up and lift him up and hug him so tight because I just adore him????

can we banter oh my god can we banter???? can we go out and do something together and just drag each other the whole time???? can I lean on him annoyingly, knowing he secretly enjoys the affection? can he drag me round by the bottom of my t-shirt and purposefully say things in a way that means I take a little longer to get what he's saying, so he has a moment to be smug about it? he's so cute when he's acting smug. I love him so much

he's so blunt sometimes and it's adorable. Vintage does not hold back when he says shit he says it and he means it. I wanna deal with something dumb or annoying and for vin to just be like 'well that guy's an idiot'. Amazing I love him. He does not give a shit and yet he gives All the shits. I care him so much

Oh I just wanna shower this squid in affection. He's gonna be so loved and cared for you have no idea. I wanna just hold his hand every now and then or just poke him to get his attention and I wanna have our own little language when we're in public and we can just poke each other and pull faces and know what the other means and confuse all the alloromantics. Just wanna be unmistakably aro and queer with this squid he's one of the best things in my life rn I adore him with my whole entire heart

[the-karma-cafe]

Curiosity Killed the Cat | Satan

a/n: sdkfj this goes faster than i wanted it to but oh wellllll

I rapped on Satan’s door lightly, tilting my head towards it to listen for a response. It was silent. His nose was likely buried in the pages of one of his countless books. I cracked a smile at the thought. “Satan?” I prompted, just loud enough for someone inside to hear. No response. A small frown marred my features. “…I’m coming in.” I warned, waiting a beat before pushing open the door.

It was empty. Disappointment twinged in my gut. Guess he’s not back yet. I shrugged, picking my way through his room. My gaze trailed across the titles, each more interesting than the last. I yearned to touch them but Satan had warned me that some books in his room were cursed.

At the end of the shelf, however, was a title I simply couldn’t ignore. My eyes sparkled. “No way…” I muttered, reaching forward to touch the book.

And, as you probably predicted, I was cursed.

I felt my body shrink and contort. I bit my lip, trying to keep calm. Satan’s going to kill me. Everything in his room grew ten times my size as I glanced around fearfully. I tried to cross my fingers but… it didn’t work?

I looked down at my hands and shrieked, hearing a loud meow come out instead. Paws??? I stumbled over to the mirror on all fours, my eyes wide.

My reflection stared back at me with mirrored horror, but not how I pictured it in my mind’s eye. “Wh-Why am I a cat?” I whispered, cringing at the mewls that came out instead.

This was bad. Really, really bad! I groaned, internally cursing myself for my curiosity. Curiosity killed the cat or… curiosity turned me into a cat? I shook my head. I had to fix this before Satan arrived.

“Oh my, hello there.” A smooth voice came from behind me. I whirled around to see Satan staring down at me fondly, a small smile teasing his lips. “How did you get in here?” Speak of the devil.

My eyes widened and I meowed helplessly. How do I let him know it’s me?? I wanted to rip my hair out.

He nodded understandingly. “Of course, I should’ve guessed.” My heart leaped for joy. He knew it was me? He leaned back to check the hallway and closed the door behind him. “No one needs to know you’re here. Be a dear and keep quiet, will you?” He asked, walking over and scooping me up easily.

I beeped indignantly and he chuckled, petting my head. “Don’t worry, I won’t let anything happen to you, kitten.”

I felt myself blush and went to cover my face before remembering he couldn’t see that. This is nice but how do I ask how long this thing’ll last?? Satan nuzzled my cheek with his sweetly and I almost died. AAAAAAAA YOU’RE GONNA KILL ME THIS IS TOO CUTE. He’s so comfy… how do I convince him to give me hugs in human form?

I gulped. Assuming I can change back.

He kissed my forehead and I melted further, accidentally purring. He chuckled. “Aww, aren’t you adorable?” He frowned. Was he just pretending to understand me?? Cruel fate. He really thinks I’m just some random cat, huh? “Though I am a bit worried…”

I meowed inquisitively.

He smiled down at me. “I’m worried about my…” his eyebrows furrowed for a second. “human. I told them to meet me in my room and they’re very late.” He pulled me closer, nuzzling me again. “They’re never late. Should I be worried?”

My heart warmed. He was worried about me? I didn’t think Satan even liked me all that much. I licked his ear. He laughed “Hey, that tickles!” He jerked away from me, smiling widely. I wish he smiled more, he’s so cute.

“Oh!” He blinked, placing his other hand on his chest lightly. “I bet you’re hungry, aren’t you?” He smiled. “Maybe Beel held up MC in the kitchen.” He reasoned and headed for the door with me tucked into his chest before stopping.

“Oh…” he glanced down at me sadly. “I can’t let anyone see you. You’ll have to stay here, I’m afraid.” He set me down on his bed gently and held a finger to his lips. “Be quiet, okay?” He winked conspiratorially.

He left, leaving me in his room.

I guess I’ll just have to wait this one out. I rested my chin on my paws, looking around curiously. Everything was so different from this angle. I inhaled deeply, Satan’s scent reaching my nose. I sighed, resting my eyes. It smelled so nice here, like old books and earthy tea. His bed was comfy…

“I’m back.” Satan’s somber voice startled me awake. A look of concern marred his features. “Oh no, did I wake you baby?” I could get used to the pet names. I meowed at him.

He nodded and dipped onto the bed in front of me. His hand scratched behind my ear gently. “I brought you food!” He held out a can of cat food and I held in my vomit at the smell.

Satan smiled encouragingly, waving it under my nose more in an attempt to entice me. “Come now, I’m sure you’re hungry.”

I meowed at him and backed away, hopping onto his pillow and settling down there. He sighed, placing the can on a shelf. “Not hungry?”

He bit his lip, laying down on the pillow next to me. I crawled onto his chest, looking into his eyes. So pretty… I leaned forward and touched his nose with mine. He smiled. “Aw, I can’t stay sad around you, can I?”

He sighed, petting my head. “I didn’t find MC in the kitchen. Beel doesn’t know where they are, either. I’m really worried, they would’ve at least contacted me at this point.”

I meowed softly and he nodded. “I know, it’s none of my business what they spend their time doing. They don’t owe me anything.” His face fell. “Why can’t I get that through my head?”

My heart ached for him. He looked so sad that I hadn’t contacted him. I didn’t know I meant this much to him. As much as I hate being a cat… this has been enlightening. He blushed, covering his face with his arm. “I was going to ask them to take a walk with me tonight. They’re a sucker for moonlight…” his lips spread into a sweet smile. “I barely look at the moon on those walks.”

My eyes widened. And here I thought I was just tagging along… am I really so unobservant? I mewled, nuzzling his cheek with mine. Satan moved his arm away from his face, staring down at me through lidded eyes. I fought my blush again, though it didn’t matter. He yawned. “Maybe we’ll see them in the morning. I’ll introduce you. I think you’d like them.” He gently plucked me off of his chest and placed me on the bed as he got up. “Can’t sleep in this.”

His hands reached for the back of his shirt, pulling it over his head. I watched shamelessly, taking him in. No! Bad MC, avert your eyes! I blinked and buried my head into the blankets.

I felt the bed dip as he returned, pulling the blankets up to get in. He grinned at my huddled mass under the blanket. “Come here.” He cooed and I snuggled up into his side.

We dozed off shortly thereafter.

~

“M-MC???” A startled voice choked out, waking me up.

I yawned and moved to stretch but was forcefully pushed down on to the bed. “Oof!” I blinked away the sleep to see a bright red Satan on top of me, pinning down my arms.

He looked away from me. “Wh-What are you doing in my bed and wh…” he shook his head. “Why are you naked??”

I frowned, looking down at myself. Sure enough, the blanket was the only thing covering me. “Oh.” I smiled up at him. “I touched one of your cursed books and turned into a cat.”

His eyes widened in horror, “Then…” the realization sunk in. He bit his lip. “How much do you remember?”

I grinned impishly. “All of it.”

His blush darkened, if possible. “I was afraid of that. I apologize, hearing everything I said must’ve been surreal. I should’ve noticed you weren’t an actual cat-“

I cut him off, grabbing a fistful of his shirt and yanking him down, capturing his lips with my own. I felt his muscles tense for a beat, then relax as his lips began to move against mine. I weaved my fingers into his hair and he sighed into my mouth happily.

Satan broke away from me and I frowned at the loss, staring up at him in confusion. His sweet smile from last night returned full-force. “That was definitely best-case scenario.”

I giggled. “All because you talk to cats.”

Pink dusted across his cheeks. “You have a lot of nerve, human.” He stared down at me adoringly. I smiled and he cleared his throat. “It’s embarrassing when you stare at me like that…”

“Aw, well if you’d prefer my eyes to be closed~” I teased, pushing him and myself up from the bed. His eyes widened and he jumped to cover me with the blankets. I rolled my eyes and pressed into him, pulling his face down to kiss him again. He hummed approvingly, his hands finding my waist. I shivered at the contact. His hands were warm, much warmer than the rest of his cold room. Satan grazed his teeth across my lip, flicking his tongue out a bit. I responded with fervor, pushing to get closer to him and his warmth.

A low growl crept up his throat. “You’re not close enough.” He whispered against my lips. His hands travelled down my sides to my legs, hoisting them up and around his waist. I gasped in surprise and he practically purred. “Better.” He mumbled.

~

Lucifer frowned, watching Satan and I walk into the dining room together. He cleared his throat. “MC, you didn’t show up to dinner last night.”

“Meow.” I smiled, taking a seat at the table. Satan choked on air behind me.

a/n: uh think of a title for the book that cursed you in the notes jdfs. gotta be pretty intriguing for you to ignore satan’s warnings

[mister-lady]

Here's a gush pass! Please gush to your heart's content!

AAAAAA ANON ILY

*clears throat* welcome to my 5000 page on why I love Remus. If you somehow read all of this, then you're a maniac but i still lov u dammit. Be aware that most of this is going to be incoherent blabbering fkvvkfmmdcmmf

Ok so 👉👈 where do I start? I just love himm and I was in denial about it for ages till the point where my brain actually started to make me think I sorta disliked him haha. And I just really like the way I ended up realizing I liked him a lot because I was thinking about how I felt differently for him than I did to my other platonic f/os and my brain just snapped and went "how do you feel if you hold his hand and kiss him?" And I felt my face heat up a bunch and I realized I had feelings for him and I proceeded to lose my mind over it on tumblr bmgmfnfngmfmmd

He's just very chaotic and certainly the first f/o I've had like him but I completely love it cause I get so many new things to imagine?? Like how if we were at a grocery store normally my f/os would be decent and have a normal store interaction but not with Remus! Remus would be halfway across the store probably eating something and feeding several other rats because he's just a ball of chaos and I love him for itt. And I feel like people don't talk about his mourning mourningstar enough????? Like he has a literal mourning star and are we just gonna over look it???

Not to mention I feel like he's the equivalent to a puppy dog dmvmgmdmd. He needs to be kept on a leash at all times, he digs around in dirt in trash, gets into completely chaos if you take your eye off of him for one second, wants to just be coated in attention and will nuzzle up to you if you don't, and will just blindly follow your orders whether they want too or not. And I just have a complete giggle fit over him X3 whenever I rewatch his video or watch a comp of him I just laugh so dang much and I just wanna hug himmm. He's so silly and dramatic and I cherish him so dang muCHHH!!! I like the thought that he's touch starved so if you give him some small affection like a high five or hugging him he melts and will just completely cling to you and mmmmm I'd spoil him in so much affectionnnnn!!!!!! And I feel like he would just sometimes come out of no where or out of the blue he would tackle hug me and I get so soft and warm at the thought of him cuddling me and just hearing him whisper sweet things to me aaaaAAAA 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺❤❤❤❤💕💕💕💕💕😭😭😭 I wanna hold him so badly and talking about it just makes my urges stronger Q//Q

I feel like you could ask him to murder someone or you would make a joke about commiting arson on a place and he would immediately to do without hesitation until he realized you were joking gkvkgmfmfmfme

Oh gosh getting this all out has me so soft and fluffy feeling rnnn aaaaa anon ilysm thank you for this, this felt amaizng to get out

[ephemeral-afterlight]

Day 29: Numb

(Don’t lose yourself.)

Whumptober 2019 Day 29: Numb

Word Count: 4980

Relationships: DLAMP (romantic), Creativitwins (NOT remrom), Intrulogical (platonic)

Warnings: Rape aftermath/memories of noncon/talk of phantom sensations/memories from the event, panic attacks/hyperventilation/crying/emotional breakdowns, remus-typical vulgar/disturbing language (mild), mention of animal mating habits, vomiting (non-graphic/not described in detail), self-deprecation, cursing

A/N: Y'ALL I'm YELLING?? I THOUGHT THIS WAS GONNA BE SHORT AND IT TURNED INTO 5K AAAAAAAA;;;;;;;;; OKAY so someone mentioned wanting to know what happened after logan woke up after the events of day 21: laced drink. and. this happened!! i hope y'all enjoy this not-as-little-as-i-expected sequel in 5+1 style! it's fluffier than i thought it'd be :3c

1

It’s a lot to come to terms with when Logan wakes up.

He’s never been one for sentiment, never really has had romanticized dreams or wants relating to that type of thing. Sex and romance have never been a very prominent part of his personality, never been something he thinks about very often. Between his studies and college, he has much more important things to worry about than who copulates with whom. 

But for some reason, when he finally opens his eyes and rises from his slumber, Logan bursts into tears.

He doesn’t know why. He can barely remember what happened last night, can barely remember anything outside of a vague sense of pain. There are shadows on his skin, phantom whispers of fingers pulling his thighs apart, and it feels so real that Logan gags in fear. It doesn’t help that he’s also nauseous from the drug and the alcohol he consumed last night, so his shooting up from the covers and running into the en suite bathroom to empty the meager contents of his stomach into the toilet isn’t really much of a surprise.

Logan wants to stop crying. He doesn’t want to be breaking down like this, tears dripping hot from his face onto his comforter. He just wants to go back to sleep and wake up and have everything be fine, but of course he can’t even have that. This is all pathetic anyway, because there’s no reason for him to be so upset. He doesn’t really care about sex or relationships, has never dreamt of romance, so… so why is he crying quietly into his blanket as if he’s mourning the loss of something important?

His “first time” shouldn’t mean anything to him. It doesn’t matter that it was with a stranger, because he doesn’t care about sex, and he doesn’t have anyone to share his first time with anyway. There’s no logical reason to be crying, no rationale that would make this acceptable in any way. He’s here curled up in the fetal position, pathetically shedding tears into his pillow, and he’s in this much pain over a night he doesn’t even really remember. What an idiot.

“Hey, Pocket Protector, you up? I tho--” Roman’s voice comes from the door, bursts through Logan’s bubble of misery with the typical full tone echoing in his bedroom. He cuts himself off when he sees Logan shaking, clutching his pillow so tightly his knuckles are white. Little sobs spill out from behind the dark blue fabric, trickle out into the air like music notes and melodies carried by the wind, and Roman’s heart drops into his stomach. “Oh, shit.”

Roman immediately rushes over to launch himself onto the bed, placing himself strategically so that he ends up sliding into place right beside Logan’s head. Said Logan peeks up at Roman with a mixture of sadness, regret, and fear shining in his wet eyes, and the way he shrinks into himself breaks Roman’s heart. He lifts his hand up to run his hand through Logan’s hair, frowns even more when Logan nuzzles into the affectionate gesture desperately. “Logan, amorcito, what’s wrong?”

The term of endearment is more comforting to Logan that he expects, and given Roman’s low speech and gentle handling, it’s no wonder Logan feels a warmth blossoming in his chest. He doesn’t know what it means, doesn’t know how to pinpoint it, but he does know that when he looks at Roman, he sees a light from within. It shines so brightly, like rays of sunlight spilling over his face, and Logan finds himself craving more of it.

“I feel-- think there’s something wrong with me,” Logan whispers, shame building uncertainly in his throat, and Roman’s brows pull together. His concern is like a balm, eases the burn of the man’s fingers on Logan’s skin, and it’s almost addictive. His boisterous roommate doesn’t hesitate to pull Logan into his arms, doesn’t notice the way he flinches at the touch. He isn’t scared of Roman, of course he isn’t, but he’s of remarkably similar stature to his assailant.

“You are perfect just the way you are, dearheart. I… I love you. A lot. And I’m not saying that you have to return it, or that you even have to say anything, I just… you are loved. I care about you so much, and I vow to do my best to protect you from the dangers of the world,” Roman rambles, a dramatic speech to punctuate Logan’s sniffles. He doesn’t want to move, doesn’t want to get up out of his bed. But reaching up to give Roman a soft, appreciative kiss on the cheek is easier than he’d ever expect.

-

2

Honestly, Logan should’ve expected it’d come eventually. Despite his breakdown the first day, the day after it happened, he hasn’t actually had another. Closing his heart in an icy cage feels like second nature, as if he’s flipped a switch to turn off his feelings so that he doesn’t have to confront them. He knows it’s unhealthy. He knows it’s not a proper coping mechanism, that it’ll only cause him problems. But he can’t do it, can’t face the pain and the residual fear and the debilitating anxiety whenever someone touches him without warning.

It wasn’t Patton’s fault that it changed so quickly, of course not, because he didn’t know. He couldn’t have known, because Logan still refuses to tell them what happened that night. Ethan, ever the gentleman, courteously left that part of the story out, said that what happened wasn’t his place to tell. Logan can’t even begin to describe how much he appreciates that, because he’s still coming to terms with the events of the night. He doesn’t need other people fretting over him before he’s ready for them to know, especially when he himself doesn’t really understand the turmoil in his mind either.

But that same silence has caused a lack of proper communication between the five of them, a gap in the knowledge of what to do and what not to do. Logan can’t exactly ask them to not touch him without letting him know first, without asking beforehand, because it’ll just bring up questions. Things asked that are too personal, queries he won’t know how to answer, information he doesn’t truly understand himself. So he just has to wait, and process, and hope that one day, he’ll stop feeling tears prick at his eyes when he hears yelling, that he’ll stay calm when someone brushes against his side by accident.

Of course it’s a hug that ruins his plans.

Patton means well, Logan knows that. He knows that it is meant to be a gesture of solidarity, the type of tactile affection his roommate gives so freely. It’s supposed to help, supposed to make him happy, supposed to be like a remedy to his unexplainably downtrodden mood that’s been going on nonstop for the past week. But as soon as Patton comes up from behind, loops his arms around Logan’s waist as he’s trying to make himself a sandwich, it’s all wrong. It feels too constricting, too much like a cage, a prison cell. Patton’s hands squeeze tightly around his midriff, hold and pressurize and pin him down, and they’re going to go lower and lower and slip between his legs and--

Logan doesn’t even get to apologize for shoving Patton into the refrigerator before tears are dripping down his cheeks and panicked hyperventilation cuts through the silence of the apartment’s kitchen.

And Patton looks much less hurt than he does confused, and worried, and almost as panicked as Logan is, and he calls for someone to help when trying to talk to him through his sobs doesn’t work. Remus is gone, and Virgil just stands at the doorway and twists his hoodie strings in his fingers nervously, but Roman is there, strong and ready to help. With both his and Patton’s help, soft hushed voices in the morning air to soothe and lull his sorrow away, Logan’s fear tapers off.

He feels bad. He tells them so, apologizes over and over to Patton for hurting him. He says he’s so sorry for pushing him off, for scaring him, and Patton just looks bewildered. “Lo-Lo, I was the one who scared you. There’s no need to apologize, that’s what I should be doing! It isn’t okay to sneak up on someone like that, it’s not your fault that you had an understandable reaction to it, honey. I’m sorry. I love you.”

And this time, just this time, Logan gets to initiate the hug, has much more control, and he feels like he can finally breathe again.

-

3

“Hey, Logan? You think walrus meat would be good in a stew?” Remus asks one day, spinning crazily in Logan’s desk chair as the owner of the chair himself quietly reads a book in his armchair. It’s a lazy day, dreary and gloomy as a storm rages outside, and Logan loves it. He adores having an excuse to hole up inside his room, to be with himself and his book and… well, Remus too, apparently.

“Maybe. I wouldn’t advise trying it, though. Regular beef is perfectly adequate and is much easier to obtain,” Logan replies monotonously, inflection lost when he’s too lost in his novel to care. Social interaction takes effort, too much to sound more normal to the ones he communicates with, and when he’s multitasking like this he can’t concentrate long enough to even bother to try. He doesn’t want to fake animation and liveliness, wants his care to be real. His friends deserve that.

“Yeah, guess you’re right. Hey, did’ja know that lions can fuck a hundred times a day? They have sex over and over and over and over and over and--” Remus says, but his nasally voice slowly bleeds away. It’s drowned out by the rushing of blood like white water rapids through Logan’s ears, lingering on facts that don’t even really have anything to do with him. It only happened once. It was weeks ago. He barely remembers it. But for some reason, even the mention send his thoughts into a frantic, dizzy spiral, and it’s all back. The pain, the fear, the touches that made him feel like nothing more than dirt on the ground.

Nausea coils in his stomach, and Logan throws up in his bedside trashcan because of his irrational fears a second time.

“Woah, shit, you okay? Did’ja eat somethin’ rotten? Somethin’ gross? Are you sick?” Remus asks, high and quick, and to his credit, he sounds more concerned that Logan expects even with his words. He hands Logan some toilet paper to wipe his mouth with even as he drones on about how long it takes for food to go bad, and although his method is unorthodox, Logan still is grateful that he’s trying. He flushes the toilet and stands on shaky knees, gratefully leans on Remus’ extended elbow until he’s able to sit on the edge of his bed. The silence between them extends for quite a while, a surprisingly long time for Remus to go without talking, but then he speaks up, much quieter than he was before.

“I do love y’a, y’know. Like another brother! You’re my friend, help me to not do too much stupid shit. You’re a party-pooper, but you’re probably the only one keepin’ me outta jail. So thanks!” And, well. Remus may be reckless, and vulgar, and completely irrational, but he’s a pretty good friend too.

-

4

What Logan wore to the bar that night was one of his favourite outfits.

“Was” being the operative word in the statement, because now, he can’t even stand to look at that pair of fishnets without tears blurring his vision and the air getting trapped in his chest. The cross-stitched pattern is a net, a vice made to capture him, and the giant gap where threads are frayed around the edges is a noose waiting to strangle him. Every time he looks at that pair of jeans it’s as if his heart has been waterboarded, drowning in regret and terror and hatred, and it’s suffocating.

So he got rid of it. Threw them out, never to be seen again. It’s not a permanent solution to his figuratively fractured heart, but it makes it just a little bit easier to breathe.

Virgil watched him that day, when he tossed the clothing into the garbage can outside their apartment, watched his contempted eyes scan the streets and alleys around him with a vigilance that’s all too familiar. He doesn’t know what’s going on with Logan, what caused him to have such a drastic shift in his personality, but he can make educated guesses. That day, he came back with a cut on his eyebrow and a raw, bleeding lip, so Virgil has the feeling that maybe he got attacked. It’s not unheard of for people far too drunk to safely interact with others to have short tempers, and if Logan exhibited his usual curt retorts, he may have pissed them off enough to beat him up.

Of course that’s only speculation, but something happened, and they all know it, but they just don’t know what. It’s driving Virgil crazy, and he knows it’s severely bugging Roman too. Even Patton is overcome with worry, but he managed to convince the two to let Logan come to them when he’s ready. Virgil knows that’s the right thing to do, that he’d want the same thing if it were him in Logan’s position, but it doesn’t mean he has to enjoy it.

And it’s times like now when Virgil wants desperately to break that rule, to interrogate Logan until the truth is finally out, but that’s awful and would only hurt Logan. He just doesn’t know what to do anymore, not with the way he comes downstairs in the middle of the night to retrieve a glass of water for his parched throat and instead finds Logan curled as small as possible in the corner. His knees are drawn up to his chest, and he’s managed to compact himself enough to fit between the end counter and a shelf. Tears come in rivers over his cheekbones, and his hands shake, and his breathing is choppy and shallow.

“Lo. Logan, listen to me, you need to breathe. You’re having a panic attack, but it’s gonna be okay, I promise. Just follow my breathing. count to five when you breathe in, hold it for five seconds, and then breathe out for five seconds. Nice and easy,” Virgil murmurs, quiet reassurances in the dead of night. Logan tries his best despite the mortification he feels at being caught, but then again, Virgil knows what panic attacks are like better than anyone. He wouldn’t judge him or laugh at him for this. He wouldn’t. Right? “There you go. You’re doing great. Just keep breathing.”

It takes a couple more minutes to come down from the anxious cloud Logan is suspended on, and once he does, he immediately is ashamed of himself. Virgil could have been sleeping this whole time (and he needs it) and yet he’s sitting here, helping Logan with his selfish dramatics. He doesn’t know what to do, how to make it up to him, so he just apologizes, sad and angry at himself. His upset causes Virgil to shake his head as he rubs comforting, soothing circles into the back of Logan’s hand with his thumb. “Don’t worry about it, dude. Panic attacks suck, I get it. I’d much rather you come to us for help instead of brave it alone, though.”

“Thank you,” Logan whispers hoarsely, eyes wide and wet and clear and Virgil just gives him a small smile. He raises his hand up slowly, asks him if it’s okay to touch, and it almost feels like his heart stutters in its pace. He’s touched, so incredibly touched, and he’s also almost endeared. Permission is granted easily, and Virgil tucks a lock of hair behind Logan’s ear, and then he pulls him into the lightest hug Logan’s ever experienced.

“No problem. I-- I… I love you, Logan. Sorry I haven’t said it before.”

The idea of hugs is seriously starting to grow on Logan.

-

5

Truth or dare really is a stupid game.

“Logan, truth or dare?” Roman asks, bouncing up and down from where he sits cross-legged on the floor. The six of them are all arranged in a circle, playing a game of Truth or Dare to commemorate Ethan’s first sleepover (coined at Patton’s insistence) in their apartment. They’ve all been steadily growing closer with him, going on outings or texting in a group chat far into the early hours of the morning. Although the circumstances in which they met aren’t ideal, Logan easily finds himself glad and thankful for his presence. He’s so similar to Logan in a lot of ways; although he does enjoy engaging in chaotic activities with Remus and belting out show-tunes with Roman, he also likes the quiet, to read and debate philosophy, which has left the two of them at a mutual understanding of one another more than once.

The other five have been drinking all evening, and are currently at various levels of intoxication. Logan opted out, which earned him an understanding look from Ethan, of whom completely skipped over him while handing out the initial first round of beers. Roman is by far the drunkest, although he isn’t completely inebriated. Remus has drunk the most, but he doesn’t really exhibit any obvious signs of intoxication, so it’s difficult to tell. Virgil has also drunk a lot, and as a result has taken the charge along with Roman on most of the dares. Patton surprisingly agreed to drink as well, and he’s been swaying on tipsy for a while now. Ethan hasn’t drunk much, but he’s definitely much more loose and carefree than before they started.

Virgil pops a handful of chips into his mouth and chases it down with some more beer as Remus takes a swig of whatever he has in his water bottle. Logan’s pretty sure it’s vinegar, but he doesn’t really feel the need to bring this fact up. Logan wants to just answer truth and get his turn over with so he can return to his novel, but they are here to have fun, and Logan would hate to ruin that.

“Dare, I suppose,” Logan sighs as he tilts his head, watches the other players’ eyes light up in various levels of conspicuousness. He’s chosen truth every single time his turn came around and answered the questions succinctly, leaving no room for confusion. He’s aware that his presence and participation are what one would consider boring, but he’s far more interested in the novel by his side than the game. He’s perfectly content to just watch their antics from the sidelines, exasperated but amused and fond, but they had insisted on him joining the game too.

“Hmm… we keep giving each other boring dares, let’s make this more fun! Logan, I dare you to… hmm… oh,” Roman vocalizes as he’s struck with an idea, sly eyes and a smirk sliding onto his face. The others lean in, intrigued, and Logan doesn’t really know what to expect. He’s never played Truth or Dare before now, hasn’t experienced a dare, so he isn’t exactly sure what a typical dare entails. “I dare you to kiss Ethan!”

Oh.

Logan doesn’t really know how to react to that. His brain is much more alert now than before, on guard despite there being no real danger around him. There’s no danger, it’s safe, it’s okay. The words of self-comfort are ones he’s uttered to himself night after night of being afraid of sleeping alone in the dark, where it’s all too easy for his vision to flash and put him right back in that man’s house, underneath his sweaty body, feeling his fingers pressing into--

“Logan? Sorry, was that too much? You don’t have to,” Roman says, confused even as he laughs and takes another drink from his plastic cup. Patton reaches over and slowly pries the cup away to replace it with a water bottle, and although Roman whines about it, he complies in the end. Virgil just continues to munch on the chips and watch them all, not even flinching when Remus drapes his arms and head over one of Virgil’s shoulders.

“A dare is a dare. I have to do it,” Logan says, clear and strong even though inside, he’s shaking. Although it is a reply to Roman, it’s also a reassurance for himself, a way to build up confidence so that he can actually do this. It’s not as if he doesn’t want to, because he does, it’s just that the thought of potentially losing control and getting hurt scares him. He feels almost guilty, because Ethan would never, ever hurt him or do something he’s uncomfortable with, but it doesn’t change the fact that the thought still nags at the back of his mind anyway.

“Nice! Go Logan!” Remus cheers, and Virgil and Roman laugh along. Patton just grins at all of them, happy and endeared as he breaks off a piece of a chocolate bar to let it melt sweet on his tongue. He hooks his arm around Roman’s neck and gives him a peck on the cheek, eyes bright and loving when Roman turns to catch his lips with his own anyway. Virgil just smiles and shakes his head even as Remus yells something about cooties right beside his ear.

“Logan, don’t, you-- you don’t know if you can handle this. You don’t have to,” Ethan stresses quietly amidst the energy, worried eyes boring into Logan’s own. And Logan knows. He knows that it still hurts, that he could freak out any second, that he could hear whispers in his ears any second. He doesn’t care. He can’t live his life constantly afraid of intimacy. He needs to take control, take it back, and be able to conquer the demons residing in the darkest corners of his head. So instead, he just sets down his book, places his hand on Ethan’s shoulder, and draws him closer.

Playful taunts and jeers come out of the others when the two stop inches away from one another, intense eye contact serving as the only thing keeping either of them from advancing. Logan breathes slowly and deeply, lets a small smirk play in his expression. Ethan’s breath catches in his throat when he manages to break the eye contact, lets his gaze flick down to Logan’s lips before licking his own, and then--

And then. They’re kissing. They’re actually kissing, and Logan isn’t even that afraid anymore! Sure, he isn’t completely off guard, but his own want surprises him when his hand slides from the base of Ethan’s neck to tangle his fingers in soft, lightly curled locks. Ethan responds just as eagerly, allows three fingers to rest on Logan’s jaw as a guide, and the feeling causes Logan to shiver from where he sits on his knees. It feels nice, warm, comforting. Despite the tiny bit of heat coiling low in Logan’s abdomen that he knows he won’t act on, it all feels somewhat tame, just an easy slide of lips against lips as the two figure each other out. Pulling away feels like it happens far too soon, but the others are teasing them with “getting a room” (apart from Remus, who lefts the room to go find more snacks), so it’s probably best to hold off, at least for now. Ethan releases out a shaky breath, and a bright smile makes its way onto his face, and Logan is instantly smitten. Is this…

“I love you,” Ethan breathes, sure and truthful and hopeful, and Logan can pinpoint the exact moment his brain figuratively catches up to his mouth and embarrassment spreads like roses across his cheeks. The others cheer happily, saying things like “Finally!” and “Took him long enough.” and it makes Logan wonder just how long Ethan has wanted this, how long they’ve known and he himself has been in the dark.

“I-- I love you guys, too. Fuck,” Ethan stutters out, curses his own unsure confession, and he’s stunned when looks of pure delight spread across the others’ faces. Roman looks absolutely overjoyed, and Patton is giddy with happiness, and Virgil is quiet even as a bright smile graces his typically downturned expression. Logan is aware of the acute feeling in his chest, the way the breath seems to get stuck in his lungs in a different way than that of when he’s afraid or in a panic. This feels warmer, more definite, and it only increases when Ethan smiles shyly as both Roman and Patton tackle him in a hug.

-

+1

It’s interesting how quickly movie nights have become a regular occurrence among their five-man household.

With the addition of Ethan into their home, into their FamILY (as Patton says), things have become a bit different in terms of everyday life. They still wake up every morning for breakfast, still deal with Virgil’s grumbling and Remus’ energy and Roman’s singing and Patton’s laughter and Logan’s exasperation. They still play board games every Friday, still help each other with homework, still curl up in whoever’s bed is closest to leech the warmth from one another. But now, they have Ethan there, to sweep into the kitchen and pour Virgil and Logan coffee, to stir the food in the pan that Patton inevitably will forget about, to make sure the twins don’t fight over serving portions. Now he absolutely demolishes all of them at Clue, assists with whatever schoolwork he can, brushes his teeth right alongside them as they prepare for bed.

It’s strange to consider these new developments, this new relationship, and Logan finds that he’s more entranced with the idea of it than he previously assumed. The quiet, trusting comfort they’ve found within one another is something that Logan doesn’t quite understand, and he doesn’t think he ever really will. It’s beyond words, beyond explanations, and that alone would normally completely turn Logan off to it. He operates best when he can rationalize things, describe and explain and make sense of things that happen in the world around him, but this… there’s something different. There’s something about him that frustrated him to his core and yet he can’t let go, refuses to give it up. He loves them too much for that.

And it’s that thought, that stray thought that floats into his head as the others lounge in various places around the living room that sends what feels like an electric shock coursing through his veins. He loves them. He’s in love with them, so deeply that it makes his heart ache. He loves how Virgil is perched on the arm of the couch, how Patton giggles at every joke in the movie, how Roman sings along with the soundtrack, how Ethan snuggles into Logan’s side as he rants about character flaws in the downtime between action scenes. He loves them all, loves them for who they are.

Logan also loves them for being so patient with him. He loves that when he feels like he can’t escape from the memories, Patton will take him aside to bake cupcakes and distract him from his mind rebelling against itself. He loves that when it becomes too hard to stay focused on the present, when his breathing becomes like painful bullets in his lungs, Virgil will count with him, hold his hands until he doesn’t feel so lightheaded anymore. He loves that when he just can’t stop shaking, needs to know that he’s safe, Roman will enclose him with a protective embrace and rock him until the trembling stops. He loves that when he can feel the phantom sensation of the man’s touch on his legs, when he can feel wispy fingers dipping between his thighs, Ethan will cocoon him in blankets and read a story to him to stave off the terror and the nightmares. And although Logan loves Remus in a different way than he does the others, he still loves how Remus is always happy to rant and ramble about anything and everything at once when Logan can only hear the man’s voice playing in a loop through his thoughts.

He loves them. His boyfriends, and one of his best friends, he feels like he’s bursting at the seams with how much love has welled up in his chest. He wants to let them know, wants to tell them. He wants them to understand how he feels, that he adores them unconditionally. So he does.

“I love you guys,” Logan says, soft and important when the volume is turned down on the television, and four heads whip around to stare at him in shock as the credits roll in the background. Logan feels a bit awkward under their scrutiny, doesn’t really know how to jump-start their movement and cognizance again, so he just gives a tiny, genuine smile. 

Apparently, that’s plenty enough to achieve the effect he wanted, but Logan doesn’t expect for three bodies to immediately hurl themselves at him in a massive group hug. Ethan simply turns and places his face in the crook of Logan’s neck, laughs silently as Patton starts crying and Roman goes off on a long, dramatic spiel declaring his love and Virgil just buries his face in Logan’s arm. And Logan flinches, of course he flinches, because the sudden touch startles him. But he’s not scared. He doesn’t feel afraid, doesn’t feel unsafe, and a gentle, shining warmth glows within him. And he gets it now. He understands what that warmth is. It’s pure, unadulterated love, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

[harperonni]

“They’re wrong about you”

Ended up rambling abit more with this one on Oscar and Leonor’s relationship but aaaaaaaa this was fun to write!

Special thanks to @31revvit for suggesting this one lill drabble 21 - “They’re wrong about you.” Oscar x Leonor Canon-ish universe, after death.

The silence weigh thick and heavy in the air. The kitchen was hardly ever this quiet, especially in the evenings, often bustling with activity and conversation, but tonight was an exception. Oscar’s expression was solemn, a frown creasing his brows as he stared down at the table. He was slumped down in a chair, tilted slightly away from the table as Leonor stood in front of him between his outstretched legs, gently preening left over dirt and debris from his hair, beginning to flatten it back down. Oscar’s glasses were set down on the table and were folded as best they could be given their now broken state. They had slipped into the Rivera household just as the sky had turned dark and had silently stumbled into the kitchen, Leonor steadying him from stumbling over the phantom pain in one of his legs which he had awkwardly twisted after being pushed sharply. 

To Oscar, this was just one of the rare incidents that occurred after De La Cruz’s outing as a fraud and a murderer. A part of him, deep down, knew Leonor would have been involved in one of these incidents at some point. They were courting, after all. She loved evening walks with her hand tucked against his arm, often finding their way down routes Oscar wasn’t used to. “I never really explored a lot when I was alive.” She had told him the first time they’d wandered through a park, and she sneaked her hand into his and led him off the path into an area with a small pond, sheltered from view by hanging trees and high bushes, “You wouldn't mind if we looked around a little, would you?” He couldn’t say no as she blinked up at him, smile hopeful and her fingers gently squeezing against his. It was maybe a week later when that one Día de Muertos came up, and they were settling into each other’s presence more. Leonor never saw the sunrise spectacular, nor it’s screening. She had been visiting her living family, her hermanos, hermana and parents. She’d only heard bits and pieces of the story, and was somewhat eager to know what had actually happened. He told her what he knew, as they had walked along a balcony which ran along just above the dark waters pooling beneath the land of the dead. She had been predictably horrified at the new of De La Cruz. “What a horrid man…” She had mumbled. He held her hand nodding in agreement, brushing over how there were still people who were outraged that Miguel and the Rivera family had dragged the man's name through the dirt. He didn’t want to make that man the centre of their date, and was more than happy to change the subject to the whereabouts of Leonor’s alebrije. But even then a part of him knew it would come up again. It was something they would have to deal with if it reared its head. Leonor had met his family at this point.Imelda had just begun guided her through crafting shoes this morning and Oscar felt his chest burst with fondness over Leonor’s passionate determination. “Once i’m good-” She had said as they were getting ready to walk together after dinner, reaching up and adjusting his hat “-I’ll make you a nice pair of shoes.” He had laughed, pushing her bangs so the marking on her forehead was showing. “I’m sure you will, mi amor.” It had been on the walk he had been roughly shoved over, and Leonor stood between him and the drunk who sneered at her. He remembered seeing Leonor stood defensively in front of his form on the ground as he man growled choice words at them both. The words had grazed over Oscar, honestly. Something about De La Cruz, the Rivera familia- He had heard it before. The man sneered something about the family as a whole that had really gripped at Oscar and made Leonor tense. Oscar was nearly on his feet at the man’s words, but Leonor’s boot was in her hand and sent the man’s skull flying across the street with a loud thwack. He watched the man scramble, scooping up his skull as he flung another insult at them and fled.

Leonor had quickly spun about to help him Oscar and brush dust off his back, gently pulling him about and checking for injures, asked if he was hurt. She picked up his glasses, which had been flung off his skull when he hit the ground and winced at the bend metal rim. He had gently taken them from her, forcing a small smile onto his face. He stumbled a little as they walked and she instantly swooped in to hold him up. As far as they could tell everyone was in bed. Both were lost for conversation as Leonor had gently set him down into a chair at the kitchen table and had begun her worrisome fussing. He glanced up at her as she still focused her attention on his hair. It was hard to tell what she was thinking, her skull and expression blurred by the distance and lack of eye sight. There were things he wanted to say, but he hardly even had enough strength or motivation to playfully jab at his partner’s fussing, let alone ease any worry tumbling around in her mind. His fingers pulled at the edges of his apron in small flicks. He thought back to the man’s skull being sent flying by Leonor’s boot and fought to not grin too widely. “Ah…” He began, and Leonor’s fussing slowed as she listened. “Imelda’s lesson on shoes must have really rubbed off on you.” He chuckled as the scene played again in his head. “Did you see his face? He had no idea what hit him.” Leonor made a small noise akin to a hum as her fingers brushed down his hair again. Oscar’s mouth twitched into a small smile and he reached forward, hands settling on Leonor’s hips and pulling her in closer to him. Leonor paused, fingers hovering above his head, as she allowed herself to be pulled closer. Oscar wrapped his arms tight around her waist and held on, pressing his forehead just below her rib cage. Leonor sighed, and gently combed her fingers down the back of his hair, brushing the top of his spine briefly. “It’s…” Leonor began, voice breaking a little from the lack of use, “It’s ridiculous, really.” “Hm?” Oscar hummed, uncertain. “That they would… It’s not your fault. It’s his.” Oscar paused, a little thrown off at the tone Leonor’s voice dipped into near the end. He squeezed her a little and she huffed. She curled over him a little more, her arms resting on his shoulder in a small hug. “I’m fine, really.” Oscar insisted, nuzzling his head a bit more against her. “This really doesn’t happen that often… It’s a rare occurrence, honestly...” “That doesn’t make it okay.” Leonor muttered, agitated. Oscar sighed, shrugging. “I know. But… What can we really do other than report it and move on?” Leonor was quiet, her fingers gently drumming against his ribs. She pulled away and Oscar sat up to avoid toppling forward into her skirts. She placed her hands against his cheek bones and lifted his chin so he was looking toward her. He wished he could see her expression more clearly. “They’re wrong about your family, and everything else… They’re wrong about us…” Her voice trailed off a little and she lent a little closer to him. “They’re wrong about you…” She mumbled softly. Her thumb brushed against the markings of his cheek. “You know that, right?” Oscar nodded, leaning into her touch and smiling. “I know, I know…” He leaned forward to press his forehead against hers. “I… Appreciate you being here like this, though… Gracias.” He could see Leonor’s expression scrunch into a gently smile. It was warm, loving. It was her and he was at loss to describe how she eased him in that moment. She leaned forward, kissing him chastely.