#I’m weak to monsters.. That goes for sea monsters too c’:

[themeeplord]

We Meet Again ⋆°✩

Fanart of @naffeclipse‘s In Deep Dreams Between the Waves.

[seyenna]

Philza and/or Techno and/or Ranboo fic recs

just some of my fav dsmp fics, mainly phil, techno or ranboo bc i’m biased but also a bunch of sbi and others

this one goes out mainly to zablr discord my beloved

pls tell me if the links don’t work

all of these are on ao3

rating\status(complete/ongoing)\warnings\word count\misc tags

ichor flows free amongst the iron by summer_rising

T\o\violence\13k\series\gods AU

Summary:

A gods and goddesses AU of the Dream SMP, dramatized for all our benefits.

First work:

  "Two gods meeting on a mountaintop overlooking the stormy sea? Very classy, Dream, I appreciate your taste."

  Dream didn't turn to look at him, but the faint shake of his shoulders let Techno know he had heard.

  "Scar's healing up nicely, I see," Techno mumbled with a light nod of his head.

  "Mhm. Cut nice and clean. Not that I expected any less from you, of course."

   ~~

   The god of power and the god of luck meet on a mountaintop to discuss Luck's standing in the ongoing political disaster.

We're Only Young by ImperialKatwala

G\o\-\66k\series\Dream & Technoblade

It's easy to forget amid the chaos and bloodshed how similar - and how young - Dream and Technoblade really are.

And when the sun comes up, you'll find a brand new god. by SkyboxZoo

M\o\violence\19k\gods AU

Summary:

The wounds from the fight had healed nigh instantly, but the golden blood still soaked Techno’s shirt. His cloak had gotten torn off and his hair had fallen out of its pony-tail. Ichor pooled in his boots. The man left a trail of golden, bloody footprints in his wake.

old gods (new gods) by WriterWinged

T\o\-\9k\series\gods AU

Summary of first work:

Survival, Blood, Madness. Philza, Technoblade, Wilbur Soot. Three gods who have never cared for mortal life, who play with them when they want to, who kill their toys just as easily. How, then, did a mortal end up in their hands?

This House Is A Fucking Nightmare by SilverWing15

T\c\-\17k\series\sbi

Summary:

AU Where Phil isn't quite as willing to stand by while his sons drop like flies

Summary of third part (my fav):

Does lingering too long in the shadow of a god make you a god? The voices in his head seem to think so.

His brothers know he's older than them but they don't know how much

OR: Technoblade doesn't think his brothers realize how different they are from ordinary men. After all, ordinary men may fight the gods, but they don't win.

It's been a long day. by BecausePlot

G\c\-\3k\Philza & Ranboo

Summary:

Sides are bad: he knows that much. He’s seen it tear people apart time and time again, so when he decided to separate himself from Tubbo and keep his distance, he knew he was in the right.

Well. He thought he was in the right, at the time. Sitting all by himself on the steps to the Prime Path, he’s not so sure anymore.

Yes, the sides might have torn the others apart, might have made them so weak that they have no choice but to fold under Dream’s hand, but at least they aren’t lonely.

So are sides bad?

‘I don’t know.’

~*~

Or, Ranboo looks out at the ruins of L'Manburg, feeling more lost and lonely than he ever has.

But, as he soon finds, he's not as alone as he thinks.

the voices in my head, they say a lot of things by rosyasteria

-\c\violence\1k\Technoblade-centric

Summary:

Some days the voices didn’t listen. They didn’t let up. They screamed instead of whispered, relentless, assaulting his ears until they bled.

tell them i was the warmest place you knew and you turned me cold by rosyasteria

-\c\-\2k\Techonblade-centric

Summary:        

Technoblade cared. But in the end it just fucked him over.

For the majority of his life, Techno felt like less of a companion, less of a family member, and more like a weapon to be wielded. 'The Blade' they called him; never 'friend'.

It Leaves Little Time for Anything Else by mirandible

M\c\-\1k\part of series\Dream & Technoblade

Summary:

   A young man aims for the top, but fate has other plans for him. So does Technoblade, apparently.

   (Or: answering the question of “Why does Techno hide his scars if they’re supposed to be some sort of trophy? Why keep your point of pride a secret?”)

the best requiem is a bar of silence (and I'll sing it, even if I must hold back my tears) by jello12451

T\o\-\10k\Philza & Technoblade

Summary:

   He can’t help the noise of celebration that escapes him. Techno- this means that Techno’s free, and he got his horse back, and everything is alright-

  Tubbo, filled with rage at Phil’s cheers, turns and impulsively shoots an arrow.

   He doesn’t expect to hit his target.

---

  Alternatively: What if Phil didn't have a bucket of water when Tubbo shot him?

Change fate by being aggressively kind by sircantus

T\o\-\13k\sbi, Philza-centric

Summary:

   “You do understand that you’re caring for the thing meant to bring destruction and chaos to our world, right?” The woman asks, Phil looking behind him fondly as Techno grabs at the ends of his wings.

   “He’s just a child.” Phil answers distractedly, humming as his wings get gently yanked at.

   “He’s the first of three to destroy life as we know it! Shouldn’t we, well, get rid of him?!”

   “Oh, no.” Phil raises his eyes with a sharp glare. “Believe me, I have my own way of preventing the apocalypse.”

   ---

   Or, Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy are basically chaotic forces of nature, destined from birth to end the world and bring destruction. Most who hear of the tale of them are trying their best to track them down, and to end the monsters while they’re still young, still just children.

   Phil has a different plan.

   (In which Phil raises the minecraft equivalents of the anti-christ with love and support, so much so to the point where the world ending is really just a funny thought, and Phil has three kids who casually have powers that are bit more extreme than anything else in the world)

I promised you that everything would be fine by findingkairos

G\c\-\6k\Technoblade-centric

Summary:

   manifestation: (n.)

1.     an event, action, or object that clearly shows or embodies something abstract or theoretical;

2.     a version or incarnation of something or someone;

3.     an appearance of a ghost or spirit;

4.     the Blood God.

When he's young and still alone, still establishing his reputation as the immortal warrior, Technoblade makes up an imaginary friend.

Years later, the blood god is very real and very much a god: one that is prepared to do anything for their first and only friend.

the inner mechanism of a black box by Bee_4

T\c\violence, self-harm\Technoblade-centric

Summary:

   Technoblade lets himself get imprisoned for Philza’s sake. He doesn’t plan on being there long. Unfortunately, he’s underestimated Pandora’s Vault.

   There are things that will make even the Blade fall apart in due time, as it turns out.

carry all my sins by BananasofThorns

T\c\-\4k\Ranboo-centric

Summary:

Ranboo swallows. “All my armor and weapons and stuff are missing. Fundy and I were gonna go looking for them after the festival, I think.”

“I see.” Tubbo smiles again, but this time it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Well, I’m sure it’ll be fine, it’s just a festival. We could probably find someone to lend you a sword or an axe or something.”

He starts towards the stage, waving at people when they call his name, and Ranboo follows. The original panic has dulled to a cold buzz in his chest, but apprehension still wraps itself around his body like chains. He doesn’t like being without his armor and tools; he feels too exposed, and if something happens, he’ll be helpless.

“Ranboo?” Tubbo calls, glancing back.

Ranboo shakes his head and hurries to catch up. “Yeah, it’ll be fine,” he repeats. “Everything’s gonna be fine."

Tubbo grins. “That’s the spirit.”

Rule 5: be loyal. L'manberg doesn't do well with supposed traitors. Ranboo deals with the consequences.

Sojourn by Lacy_Star

T\o\-\13k\Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

“Well…” Ranboo started slowly, “You see, uh… I kinda… don’t have a house anymore, obviously. Um… Phil found me in—“ He paused, cutting himself off and squinting at the floorboards— very discreet, “Phil… found me. And… um… He said I could stay by you guys. Like, um, by the dog house he wants to build?” He paused, then began to ramble, “But, uh, if you don’t want me here, I understand— and I’m sorry for coming in your house when you weren’t here, I swear I didn’t touch anything— it was just cold outside and—“

Techno just stared at him. And how, how was this the second time this had happened to him? How was this the second time he returned home after battle to discover an injured teenage boy waiting for him, seeking assistance with nowhere to go? And how badly had that ended last time, in nothing but betrayal and insults?

---

AKA: Phil drags a half-enderman home after Doomsday, and Techno decides that they can keep it. For now.

can an axe count as rent? by aboutfivebees

T\c\-\4k\Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

Ranboo’s struggling to settle into his new life on the Arctic Anarchist Commune, but at least he’s got bread.

or the struggles of an enderman hybrid to come up with a housewarming gift to give to his friends, who are just trying to adopt him

The Caged Bird Sings of Freedom by StarPrince_Punk

T\o\-\25k\Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

The Blade's stance was still tense, his body prepared to fight at a moment’s notice if need be. “What’s your name?” Phil asked “My… name?” The Blade asked. “Yeah. Your name isn’t actually The Blade, right? That’s like a stage name?” Phil tried to keep his tone light. “What’s your real name?” The Blade hesitated. “No one… No one’s called me by my name in a long time.” ------- When Phil comes across Ranboo in his panic room after L'Manberg's destruction, it reminds him of when he first met Technoblade. And just like when he met Techno, Phil's first instinct is that he has to help this kid. While living together, Techno and Ranboo learn that they're much more similar than they had previously thought, and Phil learns that it's not too late for him to be a better dad.

This already feels like more of a home by H3118ENDER

T\o\violence, death\18k\Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

As the ashes of L'Manberg settle the conflict continues to come to life setting the stage for a new wave of blood shed. Stuck slam in the middle of past and present friends Ranboo is coming to learn that even without nations to their names feelings and feuds don't die but people, people do.

A Shadow of a Shadow by unappetizingegg

T\c\-\4k\ Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

There were a few beats of silence, and then- “What are your plans, now? Do you need a place to stay?”

That caught him off guard. Surely he’d heard incorrectly. Phil was offering him a home, right after he’d orchestrated the destruction of his past one? It didn’t make any sense, none of it did. Why would Phil say that?

Then he remembered, he remembered Techno stopping him in the fight. He remembered being handed his book, the question in Techno’s gaze. He swore, in that moment, Technoblade, the Technoblade, had been worried about him. He remembered that he had been told to leave, to run, to get away and preserve himself. He had spared him, he remembered that Techno had spared him.

Techno had helped him. Phil had tried to protect him, to get him away from the danger.

They were there for him.

 ---

alternatively:

Ranboo is alone. But he really isn't.

Meritocracy by oddsbodkins

G\o\-\18k\Dream & Technoblade, sbi, medieval AU

Summary:

Dream is more successful than he'd ever imagined - but there's one thing that's been bothering him. Technoblade, his biggest rival, the Acolyte of the Blood God and King of the Arena, went missing last spring, just before Dream got the chance to duel him. Without that one achievement to pave his way, all the following victories have felt cheap.

So, Dream hired some goons to dig Technoblade up and pester him into coming back to the Capitol, for one last showdown. Easy enough, right?

Interlude I: "Promises to Keep" by Ozzyyy

T\c\-\1k\part of a series\Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

These woods are lovely, dark, and deep But I have promises to keep

And miles to go before I sleep And miles to go before I sleep.

--

Techno has a plan. It's crazy. It's insane, it's actually just batshit bonkers. But if chaos cannot be enjoyed together, then what's it worth, yeah? There's a certain beauty in watching the world burn from the center of the flames. Phil intends to be there.

I Don't Want To Start A Fight (wouldn't you rather start a riot?) by KryOnBlock

T\c\violence, death\15k\Technoblade & Philza & Ranboo

Summary:

An universal ping rang out from behind him, the third and final he knew, and Phil sobbed, clutching the body tighter.

Techno didn’t move.

It always has been Technoblade and Philza, Philza and Technoblade. Take on half, and you shall never go back.

Sheltered by Lulatic

G\c\-\6k\Ranboo & Technoblade

Summary:

It was cold outside. But Techno never heard Ranboo complain.

That was the best excuse he could muster to keep him out.

Antarctic Princes 'verse by BirchWrites

T\o\-\15k\series\sbi

Summary:

Loosely-connected one shots set in an AU where the Antarctic Empire and the Dream SMP are in the same world. Ordered chronologically, but each fic can be read as a standalone thing

Summary of first part:

Oh shit. Forget arrested; Dream’s going to have to tell Wilbur that he watched Tommy get stabbed for being terminally stupid.

May we cross paths again by QueenLunaFreed

G\c\-\1k\Dream & Technoblade

Summary:

“Even if tomorrow it’s just us versus the entire server, Dream, I’m telling you right now - I have confidence.”

---

Dream couldn’t comprehend the pacing contradiction in front of him, the weakness he could clearly see, but would never comment on. Because this man has been defying Dream's expectations since they first met, because despite them not being friends and having no reason to trust each other, Dream knew that Technoblade is the only person who he’d trust to do this right. To destroy L'Manberg alongside him yet again, this time for real.

leave me your starlight by findingkairos

T\o\-\18k\Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

For you the world, Phil.

Once upon a time, Philza Minecraft is the only person who does not shy away from the bloody teen that regularly turns the tide of war.

This cements a friendship that will last wars, empires, worlds, and lifetimes.

 ---

(Featuring: Back to Back Badasses, healthy relationships, accidental deification, intentional world domination, and Phil's past coming back to haunt his best friend.)

[sharkselfies]

The Minds Behind The Terror Podcast Transcript - Episode 2

Here is a transcript for episode 2 of The Minds Behind The Terror! In this episode, showrunners Dave Kajganich and Soo Hugh are joined by author Dan Simmons and actor Adam Nagaitis, who plays Cornelius Hickey. They cover episodes 4-6  of the show, getting into Hickey’s psychology and Adam’s incredible acting, Dan’s feelings about never revealing the monster too soon, Adam getting locked in a conference room with the Tuunbaq prop for twenty minutes, and the spectacle that is Carnivale.

The Minds Behind The Terror Podcast - Episode 2

[The Terror opening theme music plays]

Soo Hugh: Welcome to The Minds Behind The Terror Podcast. I’m Soo Hugh, executive producer and showrunner of this labor of love, here with my partner in crime Dave Kajganich, executive producer and showrunner.

Dave Kajganich: Hello. 

SH: Today we welcome The Terror author Dan Simmons, and actor Adam Nagaitis who plays Cornelius Hickey in the TV series. Dan is calling in from Colorado, and Adam you’re here from London.

Adam Nagaitis: I am! Hi! 

DK: Adam and Dan, I don’t know that you have been introduced to one another, so welcome both we’re happy to have you! 

AN: Thank you! It’s lovely to be here. 

Dan Simmons: Thank you. I have to start with just a fanboy meltdown here, I don’t do this, I don’t praise actors that much even when I’ve met them, but I need to use a word that as a novelist and as a mature, American human being I don’t use because the younger generations have appropriated it, it’s the only adjective that they use in their whole vocabulary, but Adam, your performance as Cornelius Hickey was brilliant. It was awesome. 

AN: Thank you so much, Dan, and obviously the feeling is beyond mutual. There is no Cornelius Hickey without you, so, um, really overwhelming to hear someone like you say that, so thank you so much.

SH: This is so touching.

DS: And I’ll confess something else to Adam, the first time I watched it, I thought your character was a good guy because he jumped down in that grave to put the lid back on.

[laughter] 

DS: It was on my second viewing I thought, “Wait, he stole the boy’s ring! Bastard!” 

SH: So this is the second podcast of this series, if you haven’t heard the first one, episode 1, we recommend highly that you go back and listen to those, that first episode will cover episodes 1.01-1.03. Today we’ll talk about episodes 1.04-1.06, and if you have not seen those episodes please, please don’t break our hearts and listen to this podcast! Watch the show first! We’ll have many spoilers that we’ll be discussing. 

SH: So now since you guys have finally met one another, Dan and Hickey--Dan and Adam.

[laughter]

SH: Should we talk about, Dan, just how you first originally structured Hickey in the novel, and we know that you loved Hickey, but your experience watching the show in terms of seeing the changes that we have made and what we’ve kept from the book, how that affected you. 

DS: Mostly the changes that you guys and Adam did for the character of Hickey I think, uh, I don’t wanna praise too much, but they’re marvelous. They showed me a succession of, um, not villains but a complex, sometimes wicked character in a way that I don’t think I got to in the book. My character was like--a bit too much like Iago in Othello, you know, he tended to be motiveless malevolence, or malignancy, which is the way you describe Iago. And there are many Iagos in the world, but the way that Adam created Hickey out of the soft clay of my introduction was marvelous to me. I could just see all the wheels turning in Hickey’s head, all the ways he’s looking for an edge, so I took it to maybe point C or D, you guys took it through Y. 

DK: The last thing that we’ve seen Hickey do is that he has gone through the lower decks of Terror and has shat on a bed...

[laughter]

DK: ...and has found a resignation letter from Crozier that no one is meant to see, because Crozier is now in command of the expedition. We have laid out a different kind of ascension, if you will, or architecture for Hickey’s arc in the show from the book, and I wonder, Adam, if you could speak a little bit to having read, I think, part of the novel and been told to stop reading by me and Soo because we didn’t want you to be confused. How did you receive these episodes, and how did you plan to sort of make the--cover the distance between those two points in Hickey’s arc, which it’s a lot of distance to cover.

AN: There are pieces of the novel that stayed with me and unfortunately I could not get out of my head as much as I would try, ‘cause they were very potent aspects of Hickey, were always useful, but it’s as you said, Dan, it was just that the switch, I’m just backtracking ‘cause there’ll be a reason, but the switch from, the clarification for me, or the justification of his motivations was all really I had to find. A new soul, a new motor. And that motor sort of begins--perhaps changes gear, in episode 4, when Hickey is--I don’t wanna say betrayed? But you know, for the first time he’s proactive about a decision he makes when he goes and grabs Lady Silence.

[show audio]

Crozier: There’ll be no violence towards this woman without charges brought and well proved. Who is responsible for this?

Hickey: I am, sir. 

AN: He’s pushing the boundaries of what his courage is allowing him to do at that point, and he knows that this is dangerous. But it’s also completely necessary and he can’t help himself. And I think he’s fairly sure of a reward. But what ends up happening, he considers himself constantly self-aware, like an incredibly high introspective IQ, that if he’s achieved anything in his life, it’s that he is completely honest with himself at all times. He has these conversations in the mirror all day, every day, just to make sure that he’s sharp, that nobody will call him out on any sort of fracture that they can see within him. He sees his weaknesses, he accepts--that’s a soulful narcissist, I suppose, as a way of describing him, but one thing that has escaped him he realizes is that his desperate need to be accepted, to be loved, to be seen, and be patted, and to be, um, to have that authority figure, whatever you wanna call it, allowing you the rite of passage.

[show audio]

Hickey: Captain Crozier, there’s something I wanna say, but I hardly dare speak the words.

Fitzjames: Oh, speak the words, Mr. Hickey. 

Hickey: Well, of all I know in this world--and of this world… I tell you. That… I do not believe it is an animal we battle.

AN: And he realizes when he gets lashed, this day of sort of revelation, where he understands every time he gets hit, you know, he--I took a lot of the lashing I took through the way that Hickey’s described in the book, that his life has been this low level horror story, and pain is something that is incredibly interesting to him. It’s not something to be avoided, it’s something to be embraced. 

[show audio]

[sound of the lashing, Hickey gasping in pain]

SH: Adam, if we had to break down the whipping scene, ‘cause I mean your performance in that moment, I mean, it’s so extraordinary, the amount of what you were able to pull out physically as well as just emotionally in your face in that scene. Will you walk us through, what did you internally--‘cause in all you were saying about Hickey being with one foot planted in practice but also at the same time being the self-aware philosopher, but in that moment of the lashing, some different, higher kind of understanding must have been in place, ‘cause pain is at work there. Was your process different in that scene? 

AN: You must forgive me as well for goin’ on, ‘cause when I talk about Hickey I get lost 

[Crosstalk, Soo reassuringly saying “No!”]

AN: and I go forever, but I remember it sort of breaking it down, preparing it was breaking it down into how you are perceived when you enter that realm of torture or judgement or whatever it is, and he always is gonna make sure that he didn’t lose the experience in stupid, human things like shame, or, you know, consideration of embarrassment, he never walks in--it’s almost as if there’s never anybody else in the room, he doesn’t care to cloud it. And that was the very first point, was to get in and go, “What does it mean to be punished as a boy?” I was thinking, “You know, that’s it, what does that mean? I wonder what they’re gonna do to me?” When he realizes that and these people around him, that--I don’t know, it’s kind of--I suppose it was such a strange collaboration of sensations, because at the one point, you know, I’m in this, as an actor I’m naked in this scene with all these people, and being punished as a boy should have taken Hickey down, you know, the shame should have overwhelmed him, and it should have been this sort of embarrassing situation, and instead it became empowering. He wasn’t afraid of crying and screaming, and again, it’s not--if it’s practical, and it helps, it’s no big deal. It’s just pain. And everybody else would be in pain, and it doesn’t matter. Even if, you know, if people perceive him as weak, he’ll find a way to get ‘em. It doesn’t matter. 

[show audio]

Crozier: Again.

[whip cracking, ship creaking, muffled groan from Hickey] 

SH: And something we haven’t talked about much yet in these podcasts is this theme of hubris and the hierarchy and the patriarchy, and Dan you explore it fully in your book. In terms of figuring out, you know, where our characters come from, and their foundations and backbones, they come from a very distinct historical period that really thought that their empire was the crowning achievement of human civilization, right? And that the royal navy is this prime embodiment of that conquest. They were gonna go out into the world, find that sea route to China, and the world will be theirs. In both the book and our show, that kind of thinking is what drives them into the heart of peril, right? And what was always interesting about the Hickey character, in some ways, was he questioned--in some ways he’s very--too modern for his times, in some way, in that he questioned that hierarchy, that patriarchy. 

And that’s something that I think Dave and I can both sympathize with as well. The character was so interesting to write for because Hickey was in some ways an easy embodiment of our voice today. And then when you--when we watch your performance, what was great about your performance was it was never slippery, ‘cause it’s really easy to play Hickey as slippery. I always felt that your performance was always located in something very very direct. People can play characters like Hickey where you don’t--they never wanna commit to anything because he’s supposed to be nebulous, or too ambiguous. That was never the situation. When you had that smile on your face, when Irving is saying, you know, “climbing exercises!” we know you’re not playing Irving, which is great, and I think that’s such a success of your portrayal of Hickey, is it never feels slippery. 

DK: Well an awful lot of people came in to audition for this part, and what we found was a lot of people, most people--in fact, everyone but you, Adam--played Hickey as a kind of pre-built villain, and when we saw your first tape come in and you were open-handed, and you were smiling your way through the same monologue that everyone else had put fangs on, we knew that you were our Hickey, because that kind of charisma, and that kind of confidence, and that kind of hubris, in a way, is what were going to be the magic ingredients, I think, it’s what we sort of loved about the opportunity for the show to take the Hickey from Dan’s book and sort of turn it in a different unexpected way so that readers who hadn’t read the book wouldn’t know right off the bat whether they were meant to sympathize with Hickey or be wary of him or both, and I think that’s a great achievement of the performance is you sort of feel you’re on both rails the whole time, and I think that’s kind of an amazing achievement.

AN: That’s how you wrote it! I mean that was exactly--I think that you saw what you wrote, the real strength of that character was in his understanding of himself and his understanding of the hierarchy and how this world functions, you know? He’s studied it, gave him an intelligence, that’s the way I saw it when I read it.

DS: But it’s pretty amazing to think that by this point in the show, you have stolen a dead boy’s ring, you have shit on your ex-boyfriend’s bed, you have murdered our favorite doctor--

[laughter]

I mean there’s a lot, you’ve done a lot of things to turn the audience against you, but I don’t think that’s how an audience will feel! 

AN: All completely justified.

[laughter]

SH: You’re acquitted. 

[laughter]

SH: Can I steer the conversation just slightly in a different direction, ‘cause Dan, you made our lives very difficult in one way, so you have these two incredible set pieces in your book

[Crosstalk, Dave saying “yes.”]

SH: and they happen to fall chronologically so close to each other that production wise we had to film them one episode apart.

[Dave laughing, and he laughs a few more times in the background throughout the following]

SH: So in 1.05 we have the huge Blanky mast Tuunbaq fight sequence, and then in 1.06 we have Carnivale. They are along with something that comes at the end of our show, they are--those two scenes--those two sequences are, you know, some of our biggest biggest, just, action set pieces. They’re just extraordinary spectacles. But Dave and I, you know, we grew many grey hairs in this process because they’re so fantastic in the book, they’re fan favorites in the book, we knew that we had to--we knew we were gonna be pillaged based on whether or not we succeeded in those scenes. So seeing the mast sequence and seeing Carnivale, what did you think? DS: I know the difficulty in putting two set pieces like that close to each other, I mean, the chase with Blanky was pretty dynamic, and even more so from the book to your show, it was very dynamic.

[show audio]

[Tuunbaq fight scene! tense music, Blanky yelling, Tuunbaq roaring]

Hodgson: Fire!

[cannon fires, the shot hits the Tuunbaq and it growls, Blanky falls and screams, the mast creaks]

DS: And I love the character of Blanky, all the way through to, you know, his ending. He’s wonderful. 

SH: Speaking of the mast sequence, what we were discussing prior, this is the first time we actually get to see the Tuunbaq. We’re curious how both of you--you know, ‘cause Dave and I, we’ve been very careful about how we utilize and deploy the Tuunbaq in our show, and making sure also that narratively in the story-wise it didn’t feel like, “Oh, we need to ramp up this episode, we’ll throw the Tuunbaq in,” that we were very more deliberate about when we put the Tuunbaq in our show, and making sure that it didn’t, like Dave was saying, didn’t fit the monster of the week. But I mean Adam, you have a very particular relationship with the Tuunbaq that starts to become revealed in episode 4, could you just walk through how you were thinking about it? 

AN: The way that I started to think about the Tuunbaq was as a character, that was the best way for me to think about it, as another, you know, another member of the narrative in general, and it’s a person--it, of all the people, there are only, including the Tuunbaq, there are two that I respect: Crozier, who I see as something of maybe a soul mate, would be a way of describing it; and the Tuunbaq, who I see as a person who is, he or she is, true to themselves and unafraid, and undeterred, and pure in their resolve, you know, and their execution, and so it’s almost admiration and mutual respect, and that when that Tuunbaq looks at me, and I look back, that I see myself. And I see what I might become, you know, and I have--and Hickey sees himself as having elements that the Tuunbaq doesn’t have, you know, the idea of, Hickey so rarely sees people that he acknowledges, that, in his mind, deserve or warrant his acknowledgement, and when he first meets eyes with the Tuunbaq, that’s what he goes through.

[show audio]

[wind whirling, footsteps, Tuunbaq growling]

DK: Dan I was always curious to ask you about the Tuunbaq in terms of your creation of that creature. I mean in our research we found elements of different sort of spirits from Inuit mythology that seem like the Tuunbaq is kind of an amalgam of, can you walk us through sort of how you hit on that idea and what parts of it are from Inuit mythology that you can remember and what parts of it are your own invention, or just how that creature came to be, it’s such an interesting, fascinating creation?

DS: That’s a good question, I’ll answer it, but first I wanted to add an unharmonious, non-praising comment, which is when I was watching the series on my little computer screen and I got to the Tuunbaq chasing Blanky up the rigging and so forth, I paused the show, walked out in my front yard, aimed west, and shouted, “Don’t show the fuckin’ Tuunbaq!”

[laughter]

DS: “Not yet!” I’m sure you heard that. 

SH: Did you think we showed it too much in that sequence? 

DS: I did when I saw the sequence. When I’d seen the show front to back, one and a half times now, I think it’s fine. Dave, you remember, when we first talked about things, that was--I was stressing that left, right, and center, which is--I was basing it on a favorite movie of mine, which nobody else has as a favorite movie, but it’s the 1951 version of The Thing. Howard Hawks directed it even though he gave the credit to his DP, but he directed it, and it got so every time a door opened, every head, every person turned to look. And the monster turned out to be James Arness in a silly suit. But the tension was tremendous, and I think you guys build up very nicely, you know, everybody’s ready, looking over his shoulder, there’s that scene where somebody does, and the wiser man says “It’s only the ice, Georgie, it’s only the ice,” but of course it’s not.

[show audio]

[Neptune the dog barking]

Strong: He’s been goin’ on like that since the wind died. 

Hartnell: Take your wigs off. 

[rustling, wind whistling, Neptune continues barking]

Hartnell: Don’t you hear that?

DK: It was a fine line to walk, because on the one hand, you know, I don’t know if anyone would have made the show if it didn’t have, you know, quote unquote “a monster” in it. So we were trying to be very intelligent on how we deployed the Tuunbaq in the show, and wanted to make sure that when we did it didn’t feel like it was meant to spice something up, that it felt sort of earned, in some way, and you were confident that the less we showed of the Tuunbaq the better. But that isn’t--it’s not the easiest sell if you don’t happen to agree with this point of view, and you know, luckily we were sort of able to have our cake and eat it too, in a way, but still, even when episodes one, two, and three aired, we were reading reviews and people’s comments online saying, “Is there a creature in this show or isn’t there?”

DS: Or what, yeah. 

DK: Some people really want that settled, and so we tried to do it both ways, we tried to show just enough to make sure that it felt like we weren’t being coy about it, but not so much that we exhausted what’s interesting about it.

SH: And also the fear--there is a danger, if you put it off, ‘cause, Dan, Dave and I agree with you that you wanna hold off the reveal of the monster as long as possible because it’s just gonna be more satisfying that way, but there’s a tipping point to that as well, of course, you know, right? ‘Cause if you delay it too long then the expectations are almost too great. And when you delay the monster for so long the level of perfection that the audience is gonna expect is never--we were never gonna please them. So at some point, by finding that right balance point of “we show them enough that they know we’re not playing coy with them.” 

DK: We also had a storytelling reason, a really good one, to make sure we did show it up front in the first third of the season, which is, you know, by the time you reach episode six you realize there’s something wrong with the Tuunbaq, that it is getting sick, or it is going off somehow, I mean, when Lady Silence finally decides that she’s going to offer her tongue to it in hopes that it will accept her as a Shaman and that she can contain this sort of mythological disaster that’s happening, and it rejects her, and it shows up to that scene looking a little woozy, and you know, there’s obviously a cause to be concerned about it.

[show audio]

[eerie music, Tuunbaq growling and snuffling]

DK: That wouldn’t have landed if we hadn’t seen, in some form, the Tuunbaq in all of its majestic glory. You know, we think of the Tuunbaq as quite presidential, in terms of its comportment, you know, that it is a pure expression of this mythology, it is the keeper of equilibrium, it is neither a hero nor a villain. But by the time we get to episode six, we should be feeling a little bit panicked about what this creature is becoming. It seems to be falling apart in front of us in the same way that the men are.

SH: Our Tuunbaq exists. We don’t play that game of “it’s a figment of our characters’ imagination.” That is one route we could have gone, we did not wanna do that. 

DK: Adam, I don’t know if you remember, when we finally got the scale model head of the Tuunbaq to Hungary, and we had it in a conference room, I think, and I grabbed you from set and I didn’t tell you where you were going, and I took you to a door and I pushed you through it and closed it behind you, and in that room was the Tuunbaq, and you were the first person in the cast to see it. Do you remember what that experience was like? 

[laughter]

AN: That was terrifying! 

[laughter]

AN: I do remember, I remember that day very very well. It was just a head on a stick, wasn’t it? 

DK: A big head, but yeah.

SH: Enormous. 

DK: It was just the head--

AN: A great big head on a stick! And I knew the importance of it, so I sort of closed my eyes and opened them. I remember thinking, it was the eyes, the human eyes, that convinced me that it was a unique, thinking machine. It was a unique creature that had--that was worthy of respect, that was kind of the thing that I remember thinking about it. And of course it was terrifying. But yeah, I remember the teeth, the human teeth. It was so brilliant, it was so brilliantly conceived. I remember it was head height, and I just stood in front of it for a while.

DK: I remember it was twenty minutes before I opened the door!

AN: You opened it for a long time! I was like, uh, is it gonna move? It was great. It was really scary.

DK: So Dan, walk us through where it came from. I mean, this is a creation from, almost from scratch, I think, from you. 

DS: Well first I built the Tuunbaq out of what I think is a good monster and would be a good monster in the Arctic. And after constructing it, I went just tearing through Inuit mythology and stories and oral tales for quite a while before I found the right creature. He was called Tuunbaq in the mythology, but it could’ve been Sedna, Sedna was a great sea monster. They have so many wonderful beings. But you guys summed it up in dialogue…

[show audio]

[man speaking Inuktitut, another man translating] 

Translator: From the Shamans… the thing that eats on two legs and four… a thing made of muscles… and spells. 

James Clark Ross: I don’t understand. Is he describing a man? 

Translator: Sorry, Sir James. I don’t know what the hell he’s describing. 

DS: That was the best summary of the Tuunbaq that I’ve heard. I’m gonna steal it from you if I ever do readings on this book again.

DK: Oh good.

[show audio]

[men cheering]

Fitzjames: There it is. We’ve not heard that sound in far too long.

DS: I especially enjoyed Carnivale. I like it that you didn’t follow my lead and turn the Carnivale on the ice into the scene from The Masque of the Red Death. I had a sailor who’d actually read that story in Boston in my novel, so he’s the one who set up the Carnivale with all the rooms from the Edgar Allan Poe story, and yours, the idea of celebrating, going home essentially, when the sun rose, that made a lot more sense to me. 

DK: Well do you know the reason we went in that direction, I think in the writer’s room when we were discovering all the different sort of signs and symptoms of things like scurvy, nostalgia was considered a primary symptom of scurvy, and one way you could diagnose it. And we thought, well, if these men were going to throw a party and all bets were off in terms of what the theme of that party would be, we wanted to embrace the likelihood that a lot of those men who were in early stages of scurvy at that point might have leaned too heavily on nostalgia. And that gave us a kind of a surprising new sort of code to sort of explore in Carnivale. 

[show audio]

Fitzjames: Come on, boys! 

[cheering]

Fitzjames: Now, let’s get our hair good and powdered before that damn sun finds us again.

[more cheering]

DK: The idea that Dr. Stanley, who has a child back in England, and, you know, has a clear sense of what the kind of illness that’s on the table being discussed could do to the men, and he hears the news of the beginning of episode six that they’re probably running out of food and, you know, the episode, that episode six is called “A Mercy” for a reason, that really Stanley thinks he’s doing a great favor to all of the men by killing them. And it just was--I’m curious, when you watched that reveal in particular, that the Carnivale disaster was not going to come from the Tuunbaq but was going to come from somebody who was a kind of Cassandra in a way, like understood what was coming, in a way that lot of the men didn’t understand, whether that rang true emotionally to you in terms of how you would position these characters at that point in the novel.

DS: In the novel, you don’t have to compress time like that. The things can almost coexist and still work. So I had a little more freedom to do the Carnivale. But when you showed the malignant motives of the various people behind it, the doctor and so forth, the burgeoning insanity made sense.

[show audio]

[distorted music, liquid pouring, yelling]

Crozier: Hold him, hold him!! 

[flames crackling, more yelling]

DK: Hickey’s arc between episode four and episode six, you sense someone who’s coming into a power, but doesn’t exactly know yet how he wants to use it, and is scanning other people and other relationships to try to find out where will the advantage come from. And I think what’s great about the final shot we have of Hickey in six, that is Hickey just before someone tells him, probably, that they’re going to be walking out.

AN: By the time we reach episode six, he’s well on the way to formulating in the material world, in our physical world, to formulating his sort of group. What’s going on inside him, what’s going on in his--maybe even subconsciously, or even very very very quietly consciously, is a furthering of his understanding that this universe is for him. These happenings are for him. They have his name all over them, his real--and since the beginning of his life he’s been checking the dials, trying to tune into the right radio station where there’s a clear voice of the numinous, or the supernatural, or the universe, or God, or whatever you wanna call it. He’s hoping for the clear voice that says his name. 

DS: I have a question for Dave and Soo, which you looked at the muster of the crew as I did, you know, I had to decide who was what in a fictional term, you have about 127 interesting stories if you want to pursue them, but were you aware early on that there was gonna be one messiah developing in the story? 

SH: I don’t know if we looked at it in terms of a messiah figure.

DS: Ah, but Hickey does. 

DK: In these episodes, I think he doesn’t quite yet know what he’s going to become, except he knows he doesn’t have to be subservient anymore to other people’s versions of what he could become. I think he’s not quite sure where he is. He knows he’s just moved from one ladder to another ladder, he’s no longer on sort of the hierarchical ladder of the ships, he’s on a bigger ladder and he’s climbing, and he doesn’t quite yet know what heights that will reach, but it’s fascinating to see Hickey unleashed in these episodes, but not yet know what he’s going to put his power toward. 

[audio from the show]

[the music from the end of episode six during the brief moment of sunrise plays]

SH: 1.04-1.06 takes place from the last sunrise of the year, and then the end of 1.06 is the sunrise of the year, so in terms of just that lovely visual metaphor, it’s also our dark nights, where we have polar nights. Did you guys, watching the episodes, did you guys feel that darkness? You know, Dave and I were so curious whether or not people understood what it feels like to live in perpetual darkness for months, and whether or not our audience was gonna get that. How did that come through for you? DS: The darkness, it was a hard thing, I think, to do in a series like this, it’s pressures, like the men in the ship not only have the pressure of the ice groaning and moaning and growling and pushing at the ship, they have the pressure of the months of darkness. And I think you did it well, I don’t know if it was a reviewer or a friend who said the show is all about--in the ship it’s all about claustrophobia, outside the ship it’s all agoraphobia, fear of open spaces. 

SH: Oh that’s wonderful! 

DK: Absolutely. We talked a lot about that in the writers’ room, about how there was--we didn’t know which was worse, you know, and characters would have different opinions about that. Is it better to be sort of sealed up in almost a coffin-like environment, or is it better to be exposed with no way to protect yourself? I don’t know what I would choose. 

[The Terror opening theme music plays]

SH: So that is episodes 1.04-1.06, Dave and I are here with Dan and Adam, and it’s been such a pleasure you guys, thank you for joining us, and next time we’ll be covering episodes 1.07 and 1.08. Dan and Adam, both of you will be back as well. 

DK: Wonderful. 

DS: Great. 

SH: Thank you! 

[preview snippet from the next episode plays]

AN: In complete honesty, it never occurred to me that any of those things were cruel or despicable!

[laughter]

[misterewrites]

Intro Casey 101 (Mirror’s Edge)

Hello everyone, E hoping you are all doing good! Here it is! The next chapter of the side project that's now my second major one. Because I have a problem and cannot be stopped! Haha stay safe, wash your hands, wear your masks, keep yourself, your loved ones and each other safe, get the vaccine if you can and remember to take care of yourselves.

Feel free to share this with your friends, leave me comments, feedback, reblogs. every bit makes me happy and helps! Have a great week and stay safe! E is out!

If you want an easier time to read it or to read it from the beginning you can follow the link below. Tumblr hates links and will probably shadow block my tags but you know what? Tumblr hates me in general so oh well

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30599756/chapters/78163523

Summary:  Casey is the head of the local Neighborhood Watch (and by head, he means only employee) Whenever not helping his best friend take down corrupted, evil jerkbutts, he spends his time running, maintaining and helping the magical/supernatural residents of Willow's Brook. Life is never static but Casey sometimes wishes it was a little less hectic. Just because he can handle it doesn't mean he wants to.

-----

Willow Rook was a peaceful neighborhood suburb located on the outskirts of Newton Haven, just within the city’s boundaries. Rows of mismatched houses and apartments spread out across the maddening maze that was suburbia. Fernspeaker Drift park was nestled in the heart of the neighborhood, its magical and mundane flora bringing a peaceful harmonic nature to the urban sprawl of man. The towering skyscrapers of downtown could be seen far into the distance, a reminder to the residents the city was never too far away.

The sounds of children screaming and shouting is what awoke Casey. He let out an unhappy groan as he rose from the hard wooden desk he accidentally fell asleep on. He rubbed his aching jaw, trying to loosen it from the rough night he had.

“Fuck” He yawned groggily “I really need to have a pillow here or something.”

He ran his hand through his normally wavy dark brown hair as his sea green eyes glanced about his “office”.

Office was much too generous a word for what he worked out of: It was tiny bungalow with barely enough room for a desk and chair, a case file drawer and the tv that sat ontop of it. Casey mentally prepared himself as he pulled open the curtains and allowed natural light to hit his face.

“Ugggggggh” Casey shielded his eyes from the harsh gleam of the morning “Why must the sun punish me?”

Casey stretched the crick in his neck while keeping an eye on the outside world: The neighborhood was particularly lively today with people out and about. The elderly elf Mr. Thistlebush was complaining about something or another to his dwarfish neighbor Mrs. Boulderfist who politely nodded and humored the old elf. Evan Starsunder, a muscular orc with dark green skin, tipped his mail cap tiredly to everyone he passed as he made his way into his cozy abode for a well earned rest. The newly married halfing (similiar but legally distinct from hobbits) couple Mr. and Mrs. Tealeaf took a stroll across the grassy field where Casey’s office stood, hand in hand and very much the picturesque ideal of young love.

Casey opened the window to let everyone know he was open for business.

“Good morning Mister Remington!” Mr. Tealeaf waved with a smile.

“How are you doing this morning?” Mrs. Tealeaf asked, half curious and half cheerfully.

“Great!” Casey lied, trying to stifle a yawn “Just great. Keeping on eye on the neighborhood, same as usual.”

“Keep up the good work!”

“We appreciate everything you do for all of us!”

“You’re welcome!” he gave a halfhearted wave after the retreating couple.

He sighed, mindlessly fiddling with the engagement ring on his finger.

“I should take it off” Casey spoke to no one in particular “She probably isn’t wearing hers anymore. I shouldn’t give people the wrong idea. I should just take it off and that’ll be it. That’ll be it. Yep. One slip and….yeah.”

His voice trailed off as he was unable to finish the thought.

“CASE!” A voice shouted.

Casey leaned out and squinted, trying to see through the glare of the sunlight to find the person who demanded his attention.

“CASE!” The voice called out again, the blurry far off figure slowly shifting into a more recognizable shape.

Casey rolled his eyes “What is it Kay? I’m working!”

Kasey Remington or, as most people called her, Kay was Casey’s twin sister. Nearly identical face with the same wavy dark brown hair and sea green eyes except Kay had gotten their mother’s button nose out of the deal. Growing up, the twins often questioned why their parents had named them Casey with a C and Kasey with the K but the only response they ever gave was it was funny.

Well not to the twins but they were used to it by now.

Kasey, in her mommy cardigan and white blouse, flagged down her brother to come outside.

“Yeah I’m good up here.” Casey smiled from his slightly elevated position.

“You’re tall for like 5 minutes and you’re already being unbearable about it.” Kasey huffed, shooting her twin a stink eye.

Casey chuckled “Mad with power. Classic story troupes.”

“Cliche you mean.” Kasey laughed “Sorry to bother you but….did you sleep in your office again?”

Casey rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly as he realized he was still wearing his purple tank top and black basketball shorts from the other day.

“Umm well you see….”

“Is your office still a mess?”

Casey glanced at the half crumpled burger wrappers and scattered papers that littered every inch of desk.

“Pfft, no.”

“That’s a yes” Kasey replied with a knowing smirk “Case….”

Casey fiercely pointed at his twin “Don’t.”

“Case, you can’t keep…”

“Yes I can. Watch me.”

Kasey rolled her eyes “I have better things to do.”

Casey scrunched up his face with false hurt “Better than hanging out with your brother? Alright I see how it is. See if I get you anything for Christmas.”

“No! Not my possible Christmas presents!” Kasey fell to her knees dramatically “You monster! How could you do to this to me?”

“Like this.” Casey spoke with a grin, closing the window without another word.

And made his way out of the building a moment later. He offered a hand to his sister and the twins burst out with laughter as Casey helped Kasey to her feet.

“So what’s up Kay?” Casey asked with genuine interest “Where’s Chester?”

Kasey scratched her chin thoughtfully “He’s...got...a….little league game today.”

“Wooooow took you a full five seconds to remember what your kid’s up today.” Casey snickered “Finally stop signing him up for everything?”

“Ha flipping ha.” Kasey shook her head mockingly “It’s not my fault he wants to do any and everything. Besides it’s not the worst thing in the world to enable my son’s interests. I just wish he slowed down a bit.”

“True. Did you thank him for the house he made for me?”

“Yes and he said you’re welcome. Still got it?”

Casey scoffed as he pulled out his necklace: The simple shape of home clasped carefully onto his chain.

“As a cleric of the hearth nothing is more important than a family’s love.”

“Except” Kasey murmured softly “Maybe your fiancée?”

“Nope!” Casey threw his hands in the air and turned away from his sister “Not having this conversation. Byeeeee.”

“Case! Casey you’re acting like a child!”

“Would a child do this? Hey Seth!”

A gawky human teenager with dark black clothing and every skull accessory imaginable flinched uncomfortably at the sudden attention.

Casey nodded his head in confirmation “Yeah you! Curfew’s 2:30 A.M. The Hallow spell won’t work during the witching hour so I want you back here before 3. Got it?”

Seth gave a low mumble and wandered off as quickly as his legs could take him.

“Casey.” Kasey laced her voice with a firmness only a mother could muster.

“Whaaaaaat?” Casey whirled around irritated “Look I made my choice and she made hers and that’s it.”

Kasey raised an eyebrow “You two have been in love with each other since we were kids.”

“Don’t you…!”

“Case, why don’t you ask her again?”

Casey said nothing, opting to gesture to his office to answer his question. Written in bright white letters across the walls of the building were the words “Neighborhood Watch.”

Kasey rubbed her arm guiltily “Case…”

“You gonna take over?” Casey questioned, his voice soft but controlled “You gonna take over for mom? Cuz she retired and unless there’s someone running the watch, all of this...”

He motions to the families walking, playing, living their lives together in harmony. A magical community at peace.

“All this goes away. We’re going to have to move everyone into other magical neighborhoods and under their Neighborhood Watches. And that’s not fair to them.”

Kasey let out a sad sigh “It’s not fair to you.”

“I’m fine” Casey lied “I’m okay I promise. It’s for the best.”

Kasey shook her head “You can lie to yourself but you can’t lie to me. See you for dinner?”

Casey hugged his twin tightly, pouring as much love as he could into the gesture.

“Of course. I’ll bring fries.”

Kasey made a face, playfully pushing him away “Would you bring something else, please?”

“Fine, mashed potatoes.”

“Ugh. Bye Case.”

“Bye Kay!”

Kasey eyed the engagement ring for a moment before taking her leave.

Casey ran his hands through his hair, wondering how much worse today could get.

He turned to make his way back to his office when he spotted a familiar face nearby.

His heart began to thunder loudly in his ears, the phantom sensation of lips pressed against his own ran chills down his spine while his cheeks flushed a bright red. His legs felt weak and butterflies filled his stomach as he took in the sight of Jaime casually walking down the street.

Jaime looked as beautiful as ever: Her long dark red hair was tied into a single braid that hung over her shoulder and shimmered in the soft glow of the morning. Her light brown eyes gleamed with a thoughtfully gaze as she looked at her phone. She was wearing his dark purple hoodie with dark blue jeans and sneakers. Her glasses were cutely askew and Casey felt the overwhelming urge to run over and fix them for her.

The engagement ring on his finger felt impossibly heavy yet light all at once.

He should talk to her. That was okay, right? To talk to someone he’s in love with and desperately wanted to be with. Did she want to talk to him? They left on decent terms. Well maybe. Hopefully. God what if she was mad at him? Or worse, hated him? She could never hate him that was silly. But perhaps she wasn’t ready to speak to him.

He knew he wasn’t ready.

Casey turned to Jaime’s direction then pulled away. He pivoted on his feet to face her again before glancing downwards towards the grass. His hands fidgeted uneasily as a shout threatened to spill out of his mouth.

Casey returned quickly to his office and shut close the window. Resisting the urge to stare at Jaime, he opted instead to reach for a crumpled piece of paper. He smoothed it out and began mindlessly scrawling upon its surface, drawing nothing in particular.

It was comical how automatic Casey’s responses became while he worked in this building: Upon hearing the knock at his door, he rose to his feet and opened it without a second thought.

Casey’s heart leapt to his throat at the sight of Jaime standing at the base of the steps from the bungalow. She smiled shyly, pushing up her glasses further up on the bridge of nose before giving a friendly wave. Her other hand was tucked deeply in the hoodie’s pocket.

“Hey sweetie” Jaime paused, pursing her lips for a moment “Case. How are you Case? Doing good Case? Can I stop now?”

Casey let out a genuine laugh “Hey swe….Jaime. You can stop. I’m good. I’m good. Good.”

He caught sight of his engagement ring gleaming in the sunlight. He quickly shoved it inside his pocket.

“That’s good. That’s good.” Jaime nodded “I’m glad to hear that.”

Casey caught her wandering glance across the office and quickly shifted his weight to block the view.

“So how’s the new job?” He crossed his arms in an clumsy fashion “Everything okay at the Grimoire?”

Jaime dug at the grass with her shoe “It’s good. Chaotic as usual but hey what do you expect for a magical library, right?”

The two chuckled together and locked eyes for a moment. As one they broke off their gaze, their cheeks slowly turning a pinkish hue.

Casey recovered first “How’s your brother? We talk but ever since last month he hasn’t recruited me to topple any corrupt bosses lately. I’m getting bored.”

“You sure you bored?” Jaime rolled her eyes “There’s no way the Neighborhood Watch is getting that soft.” “Haha I wish.”

An awkward silence fell over the couple as the realization of what subject they landed on washed over them.

“Finn’s good. Busy but good.” Jaime spoke with a fragile softness in her voice “You know my bro, always trying to save the world.”

“Right...”

Casey couldn’t help but noticed Jaime’s body language: She tucked both of her hands into the pockets, her frame shrunk like she was mentally kicking herself as she gawkily fidgeted back and forth.

“Hey.”

Jaime glanced upwards towards Casey, her light brown eyes shining brightly in the sun’s glow.

Casey could feel his heart ache with love and longing as he spoke simply “Don’t worry about it beautiful.”

Jaime said nothing. Instead, she closed the distance between them, gently cupping his cheek in her hand.

“Take care of yourself sweetie. Please. For me?”

Casey could feel his ache worsen but he just nodded, murmuring softly “For you.”

Jaime’s smile was sad but lovely. She pulled away slowly, allowing her fingers to linger for a moment.

“Bye for now Casey.”

“Bye Jaime.”

She left without another word and Casey felt exhaustion rush into every fiber of his body. He closed the door reluctantly and took a seat. He stared unhappily at the drawing of Jaime he hadn’t realized he’d be sketching.

“Fucking hell.”

He slumped deeper into his chair, feeling much too drained to face the rest of the day.

-----

“Shit, shit, shit” Seth muttered to himself as he raced through the night. The normally inviting, homely suburb was cold and distant: The shadows moved in eerie unnatural ways and once or twice Seth could soft pattering of paws follow closely behind. The modest homes and apartments were silent, basked in the darkness as they towered over him in silence.

“Just a cat” He mumbled to himself, glancing at his phone and wincing at the 3:30 AM it showed in a white font.

Seth entered Willow Rook proper and paled at the lack of comfort he normally felt in the air. Casey had warned him the Hallow spell, a powerful ward of holy magic that protected the neighborhood and hid it away from the world, would not work between 3 and 4 AM. Seth assumed he was merely attempting to scare him to return early. It never occurred to him that Casey was telling the truth.

Seth fumed silently “It’s fine. I’m late, it’s fine nothing followed me here and it’s fine.”

A chill ran down his spine as something rustled nearby. He whirled around in time to see something lunge straight for his chest.

He was ashamed how quickly he flinched, closing his eyes shut while raise his hands in a poor attempt to defend himself. He made quick prayer to whatever deity who happened to be on duty at the moment.

Something thudded against his chest. It didn’t stay long, instead quickly making its way up his shirt and tucked itself comfortably on his shoulder. It wasn’t too heavy but it was big whatever it was. Seth was surprised how warm and fluffy it was and swore it was purring in his ear.

He cracked open his eyes and found himself staring at an orange tabby cat: it was a fat cat with stripes of white and orange running down its body. Its dark green eyes stared curiously at him. If he didn’t know better, he would’ve thought it was asking him a question.

“Hey buddy” Seth breathed a sigh of relief, scratching the cat’s chin “What are you doing out here? Scaring the shit out of me?”

The cat pawed at his face rather roughly and with enough force to actually make him turn his head.

Seth felt the blood drain as he saw something approach in the shifting shadows: A monstrous thing, thin and skeletal. Its skin was a dark shade, almost as black as the darkness it blended in with. It crawled forward slowly on all fours, thick talons digging up and cutting through the pavement with ease. A bloody wrap covered its eyes and two thick, elongated fangs protruded from its lower jaw. The rest of its face was smooth and featureless.

The words died in Seth’s throat. The best he could do was a pathetic croaking noise he was grateful no one could hear in the dead night.

The creature tilted its head as if listening for any sign of its prey.

Seth couldn’t move, the fear gripping him tightly in its thrall. His breathing hitched and he could feel his body shake beyond his control as the creature inched closer and closer.

The cat leapt off his shoulder, silently landing onto the grass and bolting into the night.

Seth’s stomach churned and twisted anxiously as the creature stared in his direction, a growling rumble escaping its mouth. It let loose a maddening shriek, one that shook Seth’s very bones. It stood on its hind legs and grew to an inhuman height. Its mouth lowered, stretching impossibly wide as it leapt forward.

Seth felt cold and empty as the sight of the monster filled his sight. The fight ebbed out of him and left only an overwhelming sense of dread and finality.

This is how it ended.

It was an odd sensation to feel at the end: the warmth and glow of the sun at his back. Perhaps some higher being was taking mercy on him in his last moments on this plane of existence.

Wait, no the warmth was getting brighter and hotter. An unbearably stuffy and blazing with an intensity of a summer day that grew each passing moment.

Seth groaned, wincing in pain as a sudden flash of light zoomed past with incredible speed. It burned brightly, dispelling the silhouetted shadows with a burning flame despite it being no bigger than a baseball.

The creature reared back and thrashed about, too caught off guard by the sudden glow to realize it was coming straight for it. The orb collided with the creature’s chest and sunk deeply into its chest. The creature howled and buckled in pain, bending and twisting at unnatural angles.

The light faded and the orb with it but Seth could see the fist sized hole it had burned through the chest of the creature.

The creature weakly swayed, seemingly weakened by whatever hit it.

“Not in my neighborhood you punkass bitch.”

Seth weakly turned to find Casey standing there, the fat orange tabby at his feet. The head of the Neighborhood Watch finally changed his clothes: He wore a purple jacket with a black shirt that read “Neighborhood Watch” in faded white lettering. His gray sweats were wrinkled and his feet were adorned with two different sneakers. Outstretched in his hand like he had taken a swing at something was a glowing metal baseball bat that pulsed with radiant power.

“Casey, I…” Seth mumbled out but Casey motioned with his head.

“Go home kid. This ain’t the minor leagues.”

Seth was ashamed to say he ran, frantically and as fast as his sore legs could take him. Whatever just attacked him was out of his weight class.

Luckily Casey was in a league of his own.

The creature clicked its tongue unhappily as it moved uneasily on its hind legs. It bent and twisted its neck in a way that would’ve broken it if the creature had been human.

Casey rolled his eyes as he gripped the bat tightly in his hand “Drama queen much, aren’t you?

The creature said nothing. Instead it threw itself forward full force towards the cleric.

“Here we go.” Casey murmured tiredly as he drew his bat back.

The creature took a swipe at him but Casey already moved out of the way, dodging to the side and allowing the creature sail past him. It twisted its head around only to get a face full of metal: Casey’s swing caught the creature in the cheek and sent it reeling backwards.

The creature shrieked in pain as smoke curled off its face, the cheek swollen and charred an ashy black. It didn’t hesitate to attack once more: It stood up and tried to crush Casey under its full weight.

Casey just shoved the bat directly into the hole he made earlier.

The creature hissed and retreated away from the holy infused weapon. More smoke bellowed from the now enlarged hole.

Casey raised his bat threateningly “Go back to wherever the hell you came from or I will beat you out of existence you flipping abomination.”

If the creature understood the threat, it made no indication. Instead it doubled down on its poor choices.

It sat back on the balls of its feet, tensing its legs in preparation for a mighty leap.

Between helping the inhabitants of the neighborhood with their requests, talking to Jaime and frankly being awoken to a fucking demon attack at 3 am, Casey was just done with all yesterday and evidently today.

Casey’s hand glowed with a dazzling radiant light as he spokes the words of faith. Magic formed and condensed into a single ball of pure sun in his palm.

The creature sprinted forward, tearing up the grass underneath its feet while it desperately made one final dash towards the cleric.

Casey lobbed the ball high in the air and fell into a batter’s stance.

The orb hung in the air for a moment like a blazing sun then fell back to earth.

The creature leapt, talons aimed for Casey’s neck.

Casey let out a mighty swing. There was a loud crack as the bat made contact with the orb. The ball of light sped off and shoved itself down the creature’s throat. The bat follow through connected with the head of the creature and knocked it cleaned off.

The ball gleamed bright in the beast��s stomach before exploding outward like a supernova. The creature flaked away into blacken ash, head and all.

The gleam of light vanished and Casey found himself under the cover of night once more.

He wiped at his eyes tiredly as his phone beeped. He glanced at it to see it was now 4 in the morning.

There was a soft hum as the Hallow reactivated: the air shimmered with an unseen power and grew warm with comfort.

The ashes vanished without warning, the unholy remains cleansed by the sanctity of the neighborhood.

The cat drew closer to Casey, its eyes peering at him thoughtfully.

“Hey Julius” Casey greeted the cat politely “Long night?”

Orange Julius meowed in response.

“Thanks for keeping an eye on him. I knew he’d stay out late but hopefully he understands why we have a rather generous curfew.”

Orange Julius nodded.

“That’s been like what? The third demonic hell beast/ abomination this month. That’s a lot for a month.”

Orange Julius meowed in agreement.

Casey pursed his lips thoughtfully “Hey, did you see Finn?”

The cat tilted his head quizzically.

“I mean all this time you. He. Well you aren’t around whenever he comes by” Casey scratched his neck sheepish “You are his dad’s cat. You sure Fernspeaker wouldn’t want you to be with him?”

The cat paused for a moment before shaking his head.

“It’s not because Jaime’s folks adopted him after…..well that happened, is it?”

The cat pawed the grass below him.

“Right.” Casey nodded in understanding “Neighborhood’s your responsibility. I get that.”

Orange Julius meowed then vanished into the darkness.

Casey glanced at the statue of Fernspeaker that stood tall in the center of park. It had been erected the same time the park was named after him, both shortly after his and his wife’s death 22 years ago.

Fernspeaker Drift, Finnrick’s biological father, was once a powerful druid, deeply in tune with nature and a firm believer in helping others. This neighborhood was his passion project. The Neighborhood Watch was formed after his passing.

The Neighborhood Watch was created because of his passing. Nobody wanted a repeat of what happened all those years ago.

Finnrick told him it was okay for Casey to not to take the job but it felt like such a disrespect to let this whole place dissolve and scatter its residents.

Casey sighed and wandered back to his office. Office hours were closed but the Neighborhood Watch’s job was never done.

[chaseatinydream]

pirate king (82) || atz

The sea is blue.

You stand along the beach where the land meets the sea, warm water lapping over your feet as you look out over the horizon. The beach is completely empty except for you and the sound of waves crashing against the shore.

You don’t know how long you spend standing there, but you watch as the sun slowly sinks behind the horizon, the sea enveloping and swallowing it whole. You watch as the sky fades from blue to to black, stars rippling over the surface of the water like jewels spread over the waters. You don’t move a muscle, time hung in the balance, until there’s the sound of approaching footsteps behind you.

“You’re here.”

Your voice is a disembodied whisper, raspy and lilting like the push and pull of the tide.

“You’ve not called for me for millennia.”  He sounds melancholy, and you turn to look at him. His bright green eyes stare back at you, luminescent in the darkness of the beach. “Yet now, you have... why?”

“Why do we not have names?”

His eyes widen slightly at your words, but he quickly schools his face back into a neutral expression. “We do not need them, since there is nothing like us in this world.”

“Humans are all so strange, different from each other, and yet they have names. They call for each other with them.” You murmur quietly, bending down to touch a hand to the waves. The water comes up to meet you, drawn to you, swirling and rushing out once more. Your heartbeat. “They are so insignificant, their lifespans so short, they end so easily and yet...”

He remains silent.

“And yet... today, one of them asked for my name. I was merely repeating the cycle of karma, saving his life when I had taken away others, and when he awoke... He asked for my name. He wanted to call for me.”

The man pauses for a moment. “A land child could stand in your presence?” He speaks quietly, and you nod. That fact had been equally surprising to you as well, but you had no explanation for it.

“I gave him my blessings.”

At that, time seems to stop. The man takes you by the hand, clutching tightly. “You, who have never looked at the humans from the dawn of man until now, blessed a human?”

You don’t relent.

“I promised to tell him a name he could speak.” You say, resolute. “I cannot let him die before then.”

In the back of your mind, a boy with a smiling face and a bleeding eye surfaces. He’d grabbed your hand, and promised that he would find you again even if it took the rest of his life. You had given him a rope with three knots that had been left ashore with him, blessing it with your power, your side of the promise that would tie your souls together for eternity.

The man sighs and releases your hand. “Humans are beautiful and fleeting, but they have immortal souls that we do not.” He raises a hand to cup your cheek with his palm. “We are as infinite as the sand along the beaches, as alive as the waters of the seas. We are the laws of nature, and the survival instinct that all of life has ingrained into their souls. We are as eternal as the heart of the mountains, and yet... when this earth fades away, so will we. That is why we do not have a soul, because we form no bonds with the things of this world.”

You waver for a moment, but resolve yourself. “I will find a way. There are laws holding the fabric of this world together more ancient than humankind itself.”

The man gives you a sad smile, his hand falling back down to his side. “There have been legends written in the human world.” He murmurs quietly. “Of mermaids who have given up their immortal lives for legs to live among the humans. Many of their stories ended in tragedy, even for the humans they loved.”

“I’m nothing like the humans.” You speak, voice darkening. “They cannot be compared to us in the least, Eorthe.”

His smile is sad.

“That might turn out to be your downfall, Saer.”

He melts away, his final breath lingering in the wind that caresses your hair and cheek. You continue standing at the beach in silence, and the tide rises, higher, higher and higher.

You look down at the rippling surface of the sea, and a pair of frighteningly blue eyes stare back - they are not of this world.

“I will not allow myself to end like this.”

A pair of watery hands rise up from the depths and the water turns black as the night. You try to pull yourself out of its grasp, thrashing and fighting with all of your might, but its hold on you does not yield.

You’re dragged down, down... deep underneath the waves.

It’s completely dark. You can’t see a thing.

You’re suffocating.

“Humans are fleeting.”

“They have no value.”

“They come and go.”

“They are nothing compared to what you are.”

“Humans can never accept something like you.”

You struggle to breathe. No, you’re human. You’ve always been human in their eyes.

“You are Choi Chin Hae, you are and have always been since the day I gave you that name.”

Monster.

You could never be a human.

No-

You awake with a gasp, cold sweat pouring down the back of your neck. You’re cold, too cold, and all your limbs feel weak, as if you can’t stop trembling. What had happened, all you remember is watching that crew mate that you’d been working so hard to save get shot, and then the almost unnatural, all consuming fury-

The sheets are soaked through with your sweat, even though every part of your body feels oddly cold and clammy. You’re in your bed on board the Treasure, and clambering to your knees, you press your face against the pothole to see where exactly you are.

It’s night outside, and the seas are too reminiscent of your dreams to feel comfortable. You can still see those blue eyes staring back at you with all of their terrifying intent, and immediately start to shiver again.

San, where’s your master?

The infirmary is empty except for you. Trembling, you try to ease yourself out of bed on trembling legs - and almost crash to your knees when pain lances up them like a white hot branding iron. Gritting your teeth, you force yourself to your feet and continue to walk forward, ascending the stairs to the main deck one at the time.

The lanterns burn quietly on the empty deck, everyone else must be housed in below. From what you can see around you, you’re in an empty bay circled by miles and miles of mountains. How did you escape? Where are the Royal Navy?

Stumbling forward again, you turn to the captain’s cabin, where the light is still lit. Slowly, you make your way towards it, trying your best not to fall over from the sheer pain you’re feeling. Quiet voices drift out on the cool night air as you approach.

“... so how long can we hold out?” It’s Yeosang’s quiet voice.

“A couple of weeks or so, if we ration everything out carefully.” Seonghwa replies. “But food goes bad, and well... unprecedented things may occur.”

“The Royal Navy is waiting just outside the bay for us.” Yunho says, voice tight. “An entire armada of them... they’ll lose their advantage if they come into such shallow waters and risk beaching with their massive ships, but we can’t stay here forever. We’re at an impasse.”

“I know that, Yunho.” It’s Hongjoong. He sounds exhausted, weary and your heart pinches. “Enough about this for now. San, how is Chin Hae?”

“She’s still unconscious when I last left her.” San’s voice is subdued, grim. “A few times while treating her... her heart stopped.”

Your heart drops into your stomach at his words. What?

“But she didn’t die, right?” Wooyoung asks urgently, panic edging into his voice. San lets out a sigh, one that you’ve never heard from him before. “No. But she should have. Her heart stopped for several turns of the water clock, Wooyoung, several. It shouldn’t be humanely possible at all.”

“None of us know what’s happening, not even Chin Hae herself.” Jongho wonders aloud. His words are tense. “From the way she looked at that enemy captain, it was like she wanted to destroy him completely.”

“You should have taken the shot, Wooyoung.” Mingi says sharply, and you hear the dragging of the chair across the floor.

“He was holding her! I couldn’t risk misfiring!” Wooyoung’s protest cracks at the end. “Besides, it all turned out fine in the end, didn’t it? She’s just... crazy strong. It worked out in our benefit, that’s all.” He sounds like he’s trying to convince himself.

“She almost tried to kill you at first too, Wooyoung.” Jongho’s voice is raised, and you stop dead in your tracks. You did what now? “At that moment, her eyes... they didn’t look human.”

You stumble at his words, as if punched in the gut.

You could never be human.

The sound of you falling to your knees outside seems to have alerted them, because there’s a sudden scraping of chairs and the door flies open. “Who is it-” Wooyoung’s eyes meet yours, and his face instantly turns white. “C-Chin Hae, are you alright-”

“I want to be alone for a little while.” Your words come out curt, more composed that you thought you could ever achieve in a situation like this. You push his hand away, and haul yourself to your feet, shaking.

“Chin Hae-” San’s voice sounds like it’s filled with tears. “Chin Hae, you shouldn’t be standing in this state. I’ll-”

“Leave me alone!” You finally cry out, clutching yourself close to your body. San’s outstretched hand freezes, and you turn away from them, unwilling to let them see your own tears. “Before I really hurt one of you... before I do something I regret... please.”

Turning around, you run as far as your feet will allow, anywhere, just away from them. White noise rings in your ears and you can’t hear their cries, agony strikes at your feet like hot irons but you can’t feel them against the wooden deck of the ship. You’re shaking like a leaf, arms wrapped around yourself to hold yourself together.

You find yourself huddled against the bow of the ship, at the forecastle deck what seems like a few hours later, sitting on the bulwarks, both your feet dangling over the waters. It’s a precarious position, but you feel better like this when you can’t see the ship, only the sea before you, stretching out as far as your eye can see.

You look down at your remaining hand, closing it around thin air.

Human or monster? Clay or flesh? Alive... or something else?

The Royal Navy has almost gotten their hands on you. And you can feel danger lurking in the air, in the direction of the sea. There’s nowhere left to run.

A storm on the horizon.

You don’t want to die. You can’t allow yourself to die after you’ve come this far. If you die...

“You can’t die...” A sweet, haunting voice floats along the night’s air, light as sea foam, coiling around your neck and sinking deep into your very bones. Starting in surprise, you look frantically from side to side, but see no one. “There’s no need to search for me. I am you.”

With a soft cry of terror, you glance down beneath you into the waves, and there you see her, stunningly blue eyes as bewitching as a siren’s voice. You recognise her now, she bears striking resemblance to the mural you’d seen at the sea witch’s lair. Her voice is soft, enchanting, but her eyes are terrifying dark, bottomless depths that seem to drag you down, down, beneath the surface...

“I am not you.” You hiss, wrapping your arms around yourself again. Your reflection only smiles, that sickeningly terrifying smile that seems to chill you to the very bone. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“If you were a human, I would have erased you in a heartbeat for your insolence.” Her voice is gentle. “But I will not hurt you. Hurting you would be hurting me, after all. That is why I cannot let you fade from this world.”

“You can stop me from dying?” Your attention instantly perks up. “How? Tell me.”

“We cannot die.” Her voice turns dark. “But should that filthy man get his hands on you... he will rob the heart of the sea from you. And you and I will both cease to exist.”

You freeze, completely still. She’s talking about the commander of the Royal Navy, Hongjoong’s father? “What’s the heart of the sea? Why does he want it?”

Her blue eyes shine eerily in the light of the half moon. “You are the heart of the sea, the very thing that the oceans is made of. The very life that thrives and teems in its depths... the push and pull of the tide is your own heartbeat.”

You stare down at yourself in shock, hand to your chest. “The heartbeat of the seas...?” You can’t comprehend what she’s saying. You’re an animated clay golem turned human, not whatever she’s calling you. “I’m getting off track. How do I not die?”

“The death of your body is inevitable.” Her words still you in your tracks. “That is why you must return to the seas right now... before that man captures you and it is too late.”

“What? No!” You cry out in disbelief, shocked. “I’m staying with this crew even if I die! They’re my family!”

Her gaze is merciless.

“Humans? As your family?” Her laugh is cold. “You will never be one of them... haven’t you learned?”

Jongho’s words come back to you, a painful knife in your heart. You had almost tried to kill Wooyoung. Who knew if you would do that again in the future, and succeed?

“Humans are nothing more than fleeting existences upon this earth, before their souls leave forever.” You can’t seem to stop trembling at her words. “There is no point risking so much when their days are so numbered. They will not be able to win against the foe that awaits them.”

Your voice comes out more as a snarl. “I would die to protect them.”

“Ooooh, how sweet.” Her voice is mocking. “Do you know what it means for you to die?”

Your one good hand tightens around the bulwarks. She has to be lying, she’s just trying to manipulate you, it can’t be true.

“You have no soul, so if the heart of the sea were to be robbed from you, you would cease to exist. All traces of your existence would be wiped from this earth like a blank slate. None of your so called family would be able to remember you, much less your existence nor sacrifice.”

She has to be lying, she’s lying, she’s lying-

And yet you can feel it in you that she isn’t. You know that she cannot lie. You don’t know how you know.

That scares you.

“You’re running out of time, love.” Her voice is so soothing, yet so chilling. “The last vestiges of the promise you made with that human captain is holding that husk of a body together. Destroy it and return to the seas before you’re captured. It is the only way.”

“Shut up.” Your breaths are coming out in panicked gasps now, your heart thundering in your chest. “Don’t talk nonsense. I promised him that I would stay alive. There’s no way I’m going to break it willingly.”

You can’t breathe.

“These foolish human emotions... you’ll be freed from them the moment you return to the sea. It does not feel, it does not ache, it does not desire.” The words are like a lullaby lulling you into a deep sleep. “I will save us, if you are so unwilling.”

All of sudden, you feel a weight in your remaining hand, and when you look down, you’re horrified to see a long, silver dagger in your hand. When you try to let go, your fingers are unwilling to obey, only gripping it tighter.

A voice, like a siren’s song, fills your ears, wiping everything from your mind. The last thing you hear is a single instruction.

Kill the human captain, and return to whence you came.

[the-pen-and-the-stethoscope]

So while Six of Crows has been on my to read list for a while now when I saw that Shadow and Bone was coming to Netflix and realized they were all part of the same little universe I was like *rolls up sleeves* K guess it’s time to read five books in one month to prepare for this new series drop. (special shout out to @darklesmylove​ because it’s mostly your blog posts that convinced me I had to read this series...I give you this as a gift...) 

And now I present to you (in the order which I read them) the events in the Shadow and Bone/Six of Crows books that made me go ABSOLUTELY FERAL (wow there’s a lot more of these than I thought there were). 

- “The problem with wanting,” he whispered, his mouth trailing along my jaw until it hovered over my lips, “is that it makes us weak.” (unfortunately the last time I was seduced by the Darkling - NEVER AGAIN BAD SIR! But this was fucking hot) 

- THE. FIGHT. OVER. THE. STAG. (Just...Alina not killing it, the Darkling is here, now he’s going to kill it. NOW ALINA IS IN FRONT OF THE STAG SAVING IT. NOW SHE WANTS MAL TO SACRIFICE HER. NOW THE COLLAR IS AROUND HER NECK AND NOW SHE’S UNDER HIS POWER AHHHHH) Bonus: “Shhhh. Quiet now, or I will let Ivan kill him. Slowly.” 

- When Alina figures out the dream and TAKES THE POWER BACK!!! (yaaaaasss queen!)

- When the Darkling finds Alina and Mal in Cofton and that whole fight scene and her getting bit and then I had to WAIT UNTIL THE REST OF THE BOOKS CAME IN THE MAIL

- “From what I know of the Ice Court, whoever stole my DeKappel is exactly who I need for this job.” “Then you’d be better off hiring him. Or her.” “Indeed. But I’ll have to settle for you.” (I’m 50 pages in and in love with Kaz Bekker, someone help me) 

- “Not just yet, Inej.” The rasp of stone on stone. Her eyes flew open. Kaz. (ugh my cold cold heart is awake and beats only for them!) 

- Because I’ve been looking for an excuse to talk to you for two days. (literally like......)

- When Jordie and Kaz get tricked. (I mean all of Kaz’s back story but that was...ugh..........)

- It was because she was listening so closely that she knew the exact moment when Kaz Brekker, Dirtyhands, the bastard of the Barrel and the deadliest boy in Ketterdam, fainted. 

- When Nina runs into the guards and the alarm goes off and I realize that I’m an idiot and OBVIOUSLY THINGS WERE GOING TO GO WRONG. 

- WHEN INEJ TOUCHES KAZ’S FACE. His eyes were nearly black, the pupils dilated. She could see it took every last bit of his terrible will for him to remain still beneath her touch. And yet, he did not pull away. She knew it was the best he could offer. It was not enough. 

- He slammed his fist against the window. “Do not speak my name.” Then he smiled, a smile as cold and unforgiving as the northern sea. “Welcome to the Ice Court, Nina Zenik. Now our debt is paid.” (like FUCK MATTHIAS GOT ME TOO. WHAT A GOOD ACT!)

- I have been made to protect you. Only in death will I be kept from this oath. It was the vow of the druskelle to Fjerda. And now it was Matthias’ promise to her. (OMGGGGGG) 

- “This is going to sting a bit,” said the druskelle holding the whip. His voice was rasping, familiar. His hands were gloved. “But if we live, you’ll thank me later.” His hood slid off, and Kaz Brekker looked back at them. 

- The sun was out for once, and Inej had turned her face to it. Her eyes were shut, her oil-black lashes fanned over her cheeks. The harbor wind had lifted her dark hair, and for a moment Kaz was a boy again, sure that there was magic in this world. (YEAH OKAY. AND THIS IS HIS LAST THOUGHT BEFORE DROWNING.) 

- WHEN THEY STEAL THE TANK. THE TANK. AND THEN DRIVE IT THROUGH THE FUCKING TOWN. 

- Nina on parem. 

- “I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.” (SCREEAAAAMS. BANGS HAND AGAINST BOOK. DIES.) 

- “Kaz knew the instant he made his mistake...in that moment of threat, when he should have thought only of the fight, he looked at Inej.” (asdlfkasgkjasglk;sdfjl) 

- I’m going to get my money, Kaz vowed. And I’m going to get my girl. (YEAH BITCH!) 

- When Alina first sees the Darkling while they are traveling the fold (I froze, I read it like four times, I couldn’t believe what was happening)

- When Mal suggests they go to that stupid party and then Alina actually agrees (I literally was like...well something bad is going to happen and I hate it here) 

- When the Darkling shows up after Alina and Mal kiss. “Another otkazat’sya, Alina?” the Darkling mocked. (sdflkajd) 

- “I can’t decide if you’re an idiot, or an idiot.” (ugh Nikolai, marry me) 

- two pages later: “You’re a spectacular actor,” I said drily. “Do you think so?” he asked. Then he leaned in and whispered, “I’m doing ‘humble’ right now.” (FUCK ME)

- “I want to kiss you,” Nikolai said. “But I won’t. Not until you’re thinking of me instead of trying to forget him.” (Am I the only one who found this cute??? Why did Alina get upset??? Do I have Nikolai-colored goggles on??? Maybe...) 

- When the Darkling came to Alina in her sleep and then PRETENDED TO BE MAL SO HE COULD HAVE HIS WAY WITH HER?!?!?!?!?! (ahhhhhhhhhh) “I missed you too, Alina.” That voice. Cool and smooth as glass. (AHHHHH)

- Nikolai stood up, his chair scraping loudly against the parquet floor. “When did you lift the blockades? How long have the roads been open?” (LSDAKLFSDLFDKASLDKLSKLKLL) 

- “Not bad looking?” said another voice. “He’s damnably handsome.” Luchenko scowled. “Since when - “ “Brave in battle, smart as a whip.” Now the voice seemed to be coming from above us. Luchenko craned his neck, peering into the trees. “An excellent dancer,” said the voice. “Oh, and an even better shot.” (And then I damn near died.) 

- There’s a whole three pages (that I will not re-type here) after they arrive at the Spinning Wheel of Nikolai just being *chef’s kiss* flawless. Some great lines include: “Everyone needs a hobby.” “I thought yours was preening.” “Two hobbies.” “Should I be offended that he doesn’t want to dine with us? I set an excellent table, and I rarely drool.” “What a filthy mind you have. I was referring to puzzles and the perusal of edifying texts.” “Last chance to run.” 

- “Alina, I’ll be back to fetch you for dinner, but should you grow restless, do feel free to run screaming from the room or take a dagger to her. Whatever seems most fitting at the time.” (asldjkasl;dkfs;lkd NIKOLAI) 

- Okay gunna skip ahead - you can assume any time Nikolai said anything I screamed. 

- Nikolia’s second proposal (THE EMERALD!!! JUST HOW HE PUTS IT ON TOP OF THE WALL) 

- Nikolai’s third proposal. Nikolai’s skin was warm, his grip gentle. I’d wondered if I would ever feel something so simple again or if the power in me would just keep jumping and crackling. (THIS is why he is perfect for her - no jolt of electricity, just warmth and comfort!!!) 

- SERGEI!!!!

- When Nikolai gets fucking taken over by a nichevo’ya (I HATE EVERYONE)

- When Baghra sacrifices herself 

- When we finally FINALLY find out what makes Mal so special (I mean....his tracking was OTHERWORLDLY I can’t believe people weren’t more fucking freaked out by him) 

- “The Darkling marched on Keramzin.” (Literally screamed: “MY HEART HURTS.” I was crying. I nearly threw the book down. “BUT THE CHILDREN!” I say with my fists in the air. I am become a blade.) 

- Nikolai visiting Alina while he is the monster and trying to make himself better (ahhhhh tears!!! THE EMERALD!!!) The words died on my lips. Nikolai turned my palm over and slid the ring onto my finger. (FUUUUCK. PAAAAIN.) 

- When Nikolai comes back and FIGHTS FOR THEM IN THE FOLD!!!! HE MAY BE A MONSTER BUT HE IS NOT THE DARKLING’S MONSTER, BITCH!! 

- “Please,” I sobbed. “Bring him back to me.” (lkadsflkj this was actually devastating even though I’m not a huge Mal fan)

- “We need more light,” he said. A choked laugh escaped me. I held up my hands, pleading with the light and with any Saint who had ever lived. it was no good. (UGHHHH. MORE PAIN.) 

- Tamar sobbed. Toyla swore. And there it was again: the thready, miraculous sound of Mal drawing breath. (and also the first time I breathed for an entire chapter!) 

- “Alina,” he said and kissed the scar on my palm, “I remember everything.” (Literally the last like twenty pages of this book I just gave up and was like actually Mal is adorable and I need to protect him at all costs.) 

- “Really I just wanted to look at the words.” (ughhhhh) 

- Once a man arrived with a fleet of toy boats that the children launched on the creek in a miniature regatta. The teachers noted that the stranger was young and handsome, with golden hair and hazel eyes, but most definitely off. He stayed late to dinner and never once removed his gloves. (NIKOLAI SIGHTING IN THE EPILOGUE MY HEART GOES ON)

- When Van Eck thinks Kaz is coming to get Inej and then he tells Inej and then she is WILLING HIM to not show up and then it is revealed he wasn’t there all along (BOOM BITCH THAT’S HOW KAZ BREKKER FUCKING WORKS.)

- “Those were my mother’s favorite flower.” 

- “Why the net, Kaz?” I couldn’t bear to watch you fall. (POETRY OKAY?)

- Jesper and Wylan going to see Wylan’s mother and just fucking everything about that chapter. 

- When Inej almost FALLS INTO THE FUCKING SILO AND IT’S THE END OF THE GD CHAPTER 

- “Pick up the pace,” Kaz said, eyeing his watch. “If I spill a single drop of this, it will burn straight through the floor onto my father’s dinner guests.” “Take your time.” 

- “We’ll fight our way out together,” Inej whispered. Nina glanced from Inej to Kaz and saw they both wore the same expression. Nina new that look. It came after the shipwreck, when the tide moved against you and the sky had gone dar. It was the first sight of land, the hope of shelter and even salvation that might await you on a distant shore. (AHHHHHH) 

- Wylan’s first thought was that this boy had the most perfectly shaped lips he’d ever seen. His second was that his father had sent someone new to kill him. (Wylan you are so adorable it’s adorable) 

- Inej was moving before she thought of it. She couldn’t just watch him die, she wouldn’t. They had him down now, heavy boots kicking and stomping at his body. her knives were in her hands. She’d kill them all. She’d pile the bodies to the rafters for the stadwatch to find. But in that moment, through the wide slats in the banister landing, she saw his eyes were open. His gaze found hers. He’d known she was there all along. Of course he had. He always kew how to find her. He age the barest shake of his bloodied head. (THESE TWO!!)

- “My leg! My leg!” “I recommend a cane,” Kaz said. (cackling) 

- When Sturmhond (aka Nikolai ***swoons***) showed up in Crooked Kingdom. (What actually happened: me reading a description of a “fox-like” man with Genya and Zoya and screaming and saying to myself “OMG WHEN I TURN THE PAGE IT WILL CONFIRM THAT NIKOLAI IS IN THE BUILDING I CAN’T” (did I mention I’m in love with him??? already??? k))

- When Jesper and Wylan FINALLY kiss FOR REAL (this was a big chapter for me) This was the kiss he’d been waiting for. It was a gunshot. It was prairie fire. it was the spin of Makker’s Wheel. Jesper felt the pounding of his heart - or was it Wylan’s? - like a stampede in his chest, and the only thought in his head was a happy, startled, Oh. 

- CHAPTER 33 - just everything, everything about the reveals in this chapter. The money being funneled to the Shu, not being able to trace even the RANSOM NOTE back to Kaz. WYLAN SHOWING UP!!!! “ARE YOU SURE THEY WERE PEKKA’S MEN?” !!!!!!!!

- “Do something,” Matthias growled at Kaz. “This is about to turn ugly.” Kaz’s face was as impassive as always. “Do you think so?” (bahahahahaha) 

- Nina’s just complete glee over the chaos she creates!!! “She was the Queen of Mourning, and in its depths, she would never drown.” 

- Jesper using his fucking power!!!!!! 

- She stared up at him. He was going to miss that look of surprise. (HE’S GOING TO LET HER GO. HE KNOWS HE IS GOING TO LET HER GO.)

- KAZ’S PLAN BECOMING CLEAR IN IT’S BRILLIANCE AS EACH CHAPTER GOES BY. 

- Inej frowned. “I thought you and Nina chose four outbreak sites on the Staves.” Kaz straightened his cuffs. “I also had her stop at the Menagerie.” She smiled then, her eyes red, her cheeks scattered with some kind of dust. It was a smile he thought he might die to earn again. (AHHHHHHHHHHHHH) 

- “A sedative,” said the medik. “Is that safe for a pregnant woman?” “For me.” (This is just FLAWLESS in its depiction of people who don’t do OB care regularly.)

- Matthias saw the anger there, the rage. He knew it well. But he was still surprised when he heard the shot. (NOOOOOOOO!!!) 

- “Has she at least done it before?” said Kaz. “For this purpose?” asked Sturmhond. “I’ve seen her do it twice. It worked splendidly. Once.” (NIKOLAI I BEG YOU!) 

- When Matthias DIES?!??! (I’M SORRY WHO LET THIS HAPPEN??)

- “You will meet him again in the next life,” said Inej. “But only if you suffer this now.” 

- Wylan getting all of his father’s money because KAZ HAS BEEN PLANNING THIS ALL ALONG??!

- Jesper leaned in and said, quietly enough that no one else could hear, “I can read to him.” (alksdflk;jasfl;jkd that was hot) 

- “Well hopefully the medik will be here to fix my ribs soon,” he said as he headed back into the parlor. “Yeah?” “Yes,” said Wylan, glancing briefly over his shoulder, his cheeks now red as cherries. “I’d like to make a down payment.” (OMG WYLAN?!?!?! IN FRONT OF MY SALAD?!?! IS THIS ALLOWED?!?!)

- At some point, Jesper realized Kaz was gone. “Not one for goodbyes, is he?” he muttered. “He doesn’t say goodbye,” Inej said. She kept her eyes on the lights of the canal. Somewhere in the garden, a night bird began to sing. “He just lets go.” (TEARS.)

- She felt his knuckles slide against hers. Then his hand was in her hand, his palm was pressed against her own. A tremor moved through him. Slowly, he let their fingers entwine. (I gasped so loud i literally woke my cat up from a deep sleep.)

- “Wait,” he said. The burn of his voice was rougher than usual. “Is my tie straight?” Inej laughed, her hood falling back from her hair. “That’s the laugh,” he murmured. (THAT’S THE LAUGH. THAT’S THE LAUGH. AHHHHH) 

Okay done. Gunna go stare at the ceiling until tomorrow night/whenever I finally get King of Scars and Rule of Wolves in the mail (BECAUSE YOU KNOW MY SORRY ASS IS DYING AT THE THOUGHT OF TWO BOOKS ALL ABOUT NIKOLAI) 

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

Baby You Were My Picket Fence [Chapter 7: Let It Be]

You are a first grade teacher in sunny Los Angeles, California. Ben Hardy is the father of your most challenging student. Things quickly get complicated in this unconventional love story.  

Song inspiration: Miss Missing You by Fall Out Boy.

Chapter warnings: Language, ANGST.

Link to chapter list (and all my writing) HERE

A/N: Thank you all so much for the love this fic has received! I hope you continue to enjoy it...the highs and the lows. :) I also wanted to give you a heads up that I am currently in school and that the next year will be pretty intense, so there may be times when I don’t update as frequently as I’d like to. But I will never go on an official hiatus or not finish a series, and you are always welcome to drop me a note asking how the next update is going. Happy reading!

Taglist: @blushingwueen​ @queen-turtle-boiii @everybodyplaythegame @onceuponadetectivedemigod @luvborhap @sincereleygmg @stormtrprinstilettos @loveandbeloved29 @ohtheseboysilove @jennyggggrrr @vanitysfairr @bramblesforbreakfast @radiob-l-a-hblah @xox-talia-xox @killer-queen-xo @caborhapch @kimmietea @asquiresofftime @hardzzellos @sleepretreat @ramibaby @jonesyaddiction @ixchel-9275 @omgitsearly @lovepizza-cake11 @deacy-dearest @shishterfackisback @mrbenhardys @deaky-with-a-c @whitetrashdarling @stephanie-everlasting @brianprobablywill @dancingstan @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @abigfatmess @hufflepuff-khaleesi @sara-1705 @thigh-your-mother-down @chlobo6 @danamaleksworld @painkiller80 @teenwolflover28 @jazzman-19 @lucyplaysguitarandcellobitch Please let me know if I forgot anyone!!

You slam the door behind you and sink to the kitchen floor. Your hands are trembling, your chest heaving, your vision blurring as tears ripple across your eyes. You don’t remember what you said to her, to the siren, to the sublime woman you’re still struggling to comprehend is Ben’s fiancée; something insipid and vague, something brief. You don’t remember leaving Trader Joe’s or driving home. Your shopping cart is still full and unattended in the produce section, waiting powerlessly to be retrieved, ice cream slowly melting and dripping through sagging paperboard containers.

“He’s getting married,” you gasp almost inaudibly between ragged breaths. You glance up at the refrigerator. The magnets still spell those two innocent little words: I’m sorry.

You rip your potted artificial calla lily off the counter and hurl it at the refrigerator; magnets and ceramic shards fly in every direction like shrapnel.

“He’s getting fucking married!” you scream to your empty house.

You bury your face in your hands and sob with maddening helplessness. You fell for it. Some outlandishly-too-good-to-be-true British movie star dropped out of the sky and you were stupid enough to believe he loved you, that someone like him ever could. You fell for it like a mammoth into tarpits, roped in viscous darkness and with nowhere to go but down.  

And then you hear a jarringly cheery ringtone. You clutch for your purse and tear out your iPhone. The name on the screen is Ben Hardy. 

“No fucking way,” you hiss, and decline the call. It occurs to you—gnaws away at you—that just enough time has passed for them to have finished shopping, picked up Eli from Ben’s mother’s apartment, arrived home; just enough time for Ben to have slickly dismissed himself, disappeared to his Lexus or some other shadowy corner somewhere, a dim clandestine place to deal with dirty secrets. And that’s exactly what I am: the unhallowed mistress, an unspoken ghost in the haunted crevices of a marriage, a black stain on a white dress.

Your phone, face-down on the countertop, rings every two to three minutes like clockwork. You wipe your eyes with the back of your hands and try to collect yourself: stagger to your feet, pour a glass of the Patrón tequila—straight, no ice—that you keep on the top shelf, drop a vinyl on the record player. Take It Easy by The Eagles floats through the thick, stifling air. You glare at the green calla lily that lays limply on the kitchen floor, its petals bent precariously yet still intact.

“Die, bitch,” you whisper bitterly. But of course, it doesn’t die; the calla lily is fake, just like your relationship with Ben, just like all the things he said to you. It’s a lie. It’s eternal. You snatch the lily off the floor and toss it into the trashcan.

There’s a sound outside—the humming of an engine, the rustling of footsteps—and then frantic banging so forceful your door quivers on its hinges. “Y/N!” Ben shouts from outside, still rapping on the white-painted wood. “It’s me, it’s Ben, let me in.”

“Never in your life,” you hurl back, furious at how hoarse your voice sounds: like someone who’s been crying, like someone pathetic and wounded and weak. You feel like a fox caught with its leg in a steel trap, the flesh split down to the bone and glistening with ruby gore, the hunter looming voyeuristically with his hands on his waist and a rifle slung over one broad shoulder.

“Please, please let me in, just let me explain—”

“Fuck off!”

“You deserve an explanation,” Ben says, more measured now. “Let me give you that.”

That knocks some of the rage out of you, replacing it with curiosity, unsurety, temptation. You don’t know what you deserve, but you do crave an explanation. And part of me still wants to see him.

“Five minutes, that’s all I’m asking for.” His words are patient, suppliant. The Eagles record spins as the moments tick by.

At last, you cross the kitchen and open the door. Ben slips inside as you step away until your back hits the refrigerator. You remember the last time you were in this room together; it hangs between you like spiderwebs, invisible but ensnaring, interlaced threads just waiting to be walked into.

“Hi,” he says softly, almost whispers. Then his gaze flicks around the kitchen, to the magnets and ceramic debris littering the floor, to the tequila, to the record player, to you. And you almost feel sorry for Ben, almost; because his once-clear eyes—malachite or emerald or peridot or jade, you think impulsively—are red and swollen, his shoulders wilted, his expression shell-shocked. He looks like hell. But you probably do too. “Babe...I...” He comes towards you.

“Don’t touch me.”

He backs away immediately, raising his hands in surrender. The silence is heavy and ominous.

Finally, you ask: “Who is she?”

Ben sighs, rubbing his chin distractedly with one thumb. “Her name is Santina Nicolosi.”

Your eyes close like drawn curtains. “Of course it is.” You know that name, you’ve taught Nicolosi kids before. The Nicolosis are a vast family with old roots in Hollywood, producers and actors and directors, ostentatiously wealthy, omnipotent. The kind of people Ben should be associating with. The kind of women he should be marrying. “Is she a model?”

“An actress.”

“Jesus christ,” you moan. And then, before you can stop yourself: “Why, Ben?”

“It’s hard to explain, it’s complicated, it’s...” He gestures vaguely with his hands, his beautiful hands. Hands that will never touch me again. “We haven’t...we...we were really young when we had Eli, and it hasn’t been easy, it’s been off and on, and we disagree on virtually everything...but I...” He wrenches it out. “I’m an adult, I have to take responsibility, I have to try to make it work. For Eli.”

You scoff. “Yeah, I’m sure living with gorgeous Santina Nicolosi and her barrels of money and inexhaustible industry influence is a real goddamn curse.”

Ben says nothing.

You swallow, your voice cracking. “So this is what you do, you find someone brainless and naïve and ordinary to screw around with, and then when you’re bored of that you go home to your actress-slash-heiress fiancée—”

“I’ve never done this before.”

“You fucking liar,” you seethe.

Incredibly, he laughs, a quick caustic sound. “I didn’t lie to you.”

“I get that ‘not in the picture’ could be open to some interpretation but there is no alternate universe in which it means engaged to.”

“I didn’t lie to you about the rest of it.”

You shake your head in fury, in persistent waves of shock. “I can’t believe this, I really can’t believe this, and I...oh god, I...I still have to see you, because I teach your son...” You’re sobbing again, you’re falling to pieces, you’re fracturing like thin ice under reckless feet.

Ben tries to reach for you. “Please don’t—”

“Don’t touch me, you, you...” There’s no word for what he is, there’s nothing malevolent enough.

He points at you as his voice leaps louder, more wrathful. “Don’t you say it, don’t you dare call me a demon!”

“You are!” you scream at him. “You are a fucking demon, you are a monster, you are the worst thing that ever happened to me!”

Now Ben has nothing to offer in reply. He shifts his weight from foot to foot, frowns at the floor, chews on his lower lip in that absentminded, nervous way that he does. “I’m so sorry,” he says simply.

“Thanks, I’m whole again,” you fling like a dagger.

He flinches, and again you’re struck by his palpable distress, his vulnerability. But that didn’t stop him from cheating, lying, making me love him, cracking my ribs open so he could rip my fucking heart out. “I...”

“Get out,” you snap.

“I’m sorry, I really am. I won’t make this any harder for you than it is already. I won’t bother you again.”

“Perfect,” you whisper, your lips trembling. He needs to leave, he needs to leave NOW, I can’t let him see me crumble again.

Ben opens the door. “I hope—”

“Just get out!”

He nods in resignation, steps outside, disappears into the fading afternoon sunlight. And you’re alone in so many more ways than one.

You bite back tears as you pace through the kitchen, struggling to compose yourself, desperate to forget. Then your eyes catch on the artificial calla lily in the trashcan. It’s pointless to throw it away, you realize. There’s no end to it; even if it’s collected with the refuse, even when goes to the landfill. It won’t decompose, it won’t disappear. If anything, it’ll just end up choking a dolphin or sea turtle to death. You fish it out and lay it on the counter.

“I don’t want to let you go,” you say to the green calla lily, to nobody at all.

I have to heal from this. I have to get over Ben Hardy. I have to move on.

But you’ve already forgotten what your life looks like without him.

~~~~~~~~~~

It’s Saturday. You shuffle out of your bedroom with a blanket draped over your shoulders like armor, your eyes sore and aching, your thoughts a fog. You’ve slept for approximately ninety total minutes. You scowl at the couch.

“Stupid debaucherous sex-couch of shame,” you mutter. That’s supposed to be funny, but it doesn’t feel that way; it feels sad and pitiful and raw. You plop down in your lounge chair instead, pulling your knees to your chest, flipping through the channels until you find a special about the Cretaceous Period on HBO.

After an hour, your phone rings. It’s Joe Mazzello. You’ve saved him in your contacts as Zappy Zap Dino Boi. Tipsy Y/N is an interesting character. “Hello?”

“Hey, Sweet Caroline!” His voice is bright, bubbly, effervescent.

“Ahh. You remembered that.”

“I wasn’t nearly as turnt as you were. We still on for baseball?”

Are we? You don’t want reminders of Ben, you don’t want any links to his world; you want to forget he exists entirely. But you like Joe—or, at least, you had at The Edison—and you can’t help but notice that he’s already lightening your spirits, evaporating gloom like rain off pavement. “Yeah, totally.”

“Is tomorrow afternoon gucci?”

Oh my god, he’s one of those people who says gucci. “You are definitely not as cool as drunk-me thought you were.”

Joe cackles through the phone. “Is it okay if I bring a friend?”

“Ben?” you ask reflexively.

“No, not him. Ben’s got work in London. Why?” His interest is piqued. Oh no.

“No reason. That’s fine with me. Your friend is gucci.”

Joe chuckles again. “Text me your deets and I’ll pick you up.”

“Sounds like a plan, dinosaur kid.”

“Also: the friend is not Jeff Goldblum. Don’t get too excited. Don’t show up with whipped cream and lingerie.”

You laugh, your first laugh in nearly twenty-four hours, a loud genuine laugh that starts deep in your belly. “I’m devastated.”

“See you soon, amica.”

“Bye, Joe.” You hang up and stare at the ceiling. This is fine. This is sensible. This is only going to lead to good things.

Right?

~~~~~~~~~~

“Strrrrrike seven!” Joe announces cheerfully. He’s wearing shorts and a red baseball jacket that he says is from a film he wrote and directed called Undrafted. It’s an even eighty degrees outside and breezy; the strands of dark hair that jut out from under Joe’s cap are fluttering in the wind. The sky is clear, unmarred cerulean. You had been anxious before Joe’s Subaru rolled into your driveway, steeping in your dusky house and your own misery, second-guessing the point of friendship, of love, of everything; yet the moment you slid into Joe’s backseat all of that vanished. You adore this eccentric little man, you had realized with relief, even when there’s no alcohol involved.

“This is so sad,” you say, twirling the bat in your hands. “This is absolutely pathetic. I am an embarrassment to America.”

“Maybe Joe’s pitching is the problem,” Gwilym suggests helpfully from where he’s crouching over home plate.

“Uhhhh, rude, Gwilym!” Joe shouts.

You glance back at Gwil. “That’s very kind of you, but I’m pretty sure it’s me.”

Gwil stands, the ball still snug in his mitt, and pulls off his catcher’s mask. “Joe,” he calls, “take it down a few notches. Toss it underhand. Nice and easy.”

“Fine.” Joe snatches the baseball out of the air when Gwil lobs it to him.

You turn back to Gwil, shielding your face from the sun with one hand. “Is this getting too painful to watch?”

He smiles benignly, reassuringly, but his eyes are nervous. They’re an intense royal blue, you note; like the ocean, like the sky. Like Eli’s, like Santina’s. That’s a thought you push away with both hands. “No, no, not at all. You aren’t far from the mark, actually. You’re just swinging a second too soon. But if Joe slows down and you figure out a rhythm, get your comfort level up...you’ll be batting three-hundred in no time.”

You chuckle, bouncing the bat against your sneakers. “I highly doubt that, Mr. Lee. But we’ll do it your way. They don’t have baseball in the U.K., do they?”

“Cricket and football, mostly.”

“Who do you root for?”

He grins, more brashly now. “The Welsh.”

“Hey,” Joe yells. “Is the pep talk over yet? Are you ready for me? I’m aging out here. I suddenly love rice pudding and can’t figure out how cellphones work.”

“Don’t rush her!” Gwil replaces his catcher’s mask.

“You’re Welsh, aren’t you, Gwil?” you ask.

“I am, happily so.”

“I just taught my kids what Wales was last week! It took a solid fifteen minutes to get past the large marine mammal connotation. They voted that Scotland was cooler.”

“Freaking tiny American savages!”

“Hey!!” Joe waves his arms theatrically. “I exist!”

“Go ahead,” you accede, taking position and raising the bat over your shoulder. Gwil squats just behind home plate again.

“You have more time than you think you do,” he says softly. Joe pitches the ball underhand, and it floats slowly through the air as your gaze tracks it. “Not yet,” Gwil whispers to you. “Not yet, not yet, not yet...NOW!”

You swing, your eyes pinched shut, bracing for the weightless whistle of open air. Instead, there’s the jolt of an impact, a cracking sound...and Gwil’s ecstatic cheer.

“Holy shit!” Joe cries, his eyes following the ball across the field. “You hit something! You actually hit a ball!”

“Yes!” Gwil throws off his mask and pumps his fist in the air. “I told you, I told you that you could do it!”

“I did it!” You spin around and—spontaneously, without thinking at all—you leap onto your tiptoes and toss your arms around Gwil’s neck. “You saved me! I’m a proper American now!” And for one fleeting moment, there’s no Ben Hardy anywhere in your mind, there are no trapdoors of agony like cold pockets in a lake, frigid paralyzing blackholes just itching to drag you down. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

“Of course,” Gwil says uneasily, his arms hesitantly circling around you. You back away as Joe comes jogging over, clasping the conquered baseball.

“Not bad, Carolina Panther! Should we celebrate? In-N-Out Burger?”

“Carolina...Panther...?” Gwil echoes.

“It’s a Sweet Caroline joke. Joe’s mocking me. Per usual.”

“You really weren’t that bad a singer,” Joe teases with a grin. “Obviously I enjoyed meeting you. Where did you say you knew Ben from...?” He’s trying to act casual, but you can tell he’s been waiting for an opportunity to ask that question. And you’re trying too: trying not to cringe at the sound of Ben’s name, trying not to let on that it rips you in two.

“I actually teach his son Eli, he’s in my first grade class.”

“Aww, how precious!” Joe gushes. “And...you and Ben...are you, uh...like, a thing...?”

Not since I found out about his fucking fiancée. “No, definitely not a thing. Just friends. I actually don’t even know if you’d call us friends, maybe just acquaintances.” Maybe just mortal enemies. You narrow your eyes at Joe. “You know he’s getting married, right?”  

“Is that still happening?” Gwil asks Joe.

“Yeahhhh,” Joe sighs dramatically. “Santina.” He pronounces each syllable of her name distinctly, like it’s a newly discovered breed of insect or a rare element on the Periodic Table.

“What’s wrong with Santina?” You’re channeling all your effort into seeming indifferent.

Joe rolls his eyes, tossing the baseball between his hands. “What isn’t wrong with Santina.”

Gwil snorts in agreement, slapping his catcher’s mitt against his thigh to chase the dust away.

“So...” Joe prompts. “In-N-Out Burger? What do you say, Sweet Caroline? I’ll buy, but only on the condition that you get me back when you’re in the MLB one day.”

“I will gladly accept those terms.”

You all pile into Joe’s Subaru, and Gwil isn’t riding shotgun this time; instead, he climbs into the back with you. The In-N-Out Burger is packed, so you eat in the car with the air conditioning blasting and the radio blaring A Night At The Opera. And somehow you find yourself laughing hysterically as Joe tries to sing Bohemian Rhapsody with his mouth full of cheeseburgers, as Gwil spills a chocolate shake all over his expensive plaid golf pants, as you share your animal fries with Gwil and he shoves two under his lips like walrus tusks; somehow, you find yourself barely thinking of the suffocating grief that’s been hovering over you at all.

But when you inevitably have to go home—when your kitchen door clicks shut and you’re left alone with your randomly-arrayed fridge magnets and your piercing memories and your undying green calla lily—suddenly it feels like there’s nothing in the world worth thinking about but Ben.

~~~~~~~~~~

Usually you have to wait until lunch or special to check your phone, but today the kids have an assembly about preventing forest fires. Only in Los Angeles.

While Sasha keeps a watchful eye on your class, you sneak away to catch up on grading. As you pluck your favorite red pen out of your teacher bag with your left hand, you tap your iPhone screen with your right. It’s 11:05 in the morning. You have seven new texts, all from Gwil.

9:21 a.m.: Good morning, love!

9:44 a.m.: Wow wow wow that was meant for someone else, please disregard.

9:51 a.m.: Okay I lied, that was meant for you, I am just hilariously bad at asking people on dates.

9:54 a.m.: ...Will you go on a date??

9:55 a.m.: With me, clearly.

10:11 a.m.: Bleeding christ I am the worst, please ignore me if you have any taste whatsoever.

10:35 a.m.: Brb swimming back to Britain in disgrace.

At first, you’re too stunned to do anything but blink senselessly at the phone: Gwil likes you? Do you like Gwil? Gwil is sweet, of course, he’s handsome and charming and successful and everything a lover should be. But Ben is immutable; he’s the stars, he’s the sawtoothed ocean floor, he’s the blood cells splitting in your bone marrow. There are parts of you that won’t ever be free of him.

Ben isn’t here. Maybe he wasn’t ever really here. And he is never coming back.

You text to Gwil: Let’s do this.

[krizaland]

Do you think in your Zimvoid story that our zim has a random picture of his s/o in his pak and is looking at it a lot. Like he is under the impression he might not ever see his s/o again. (the sad talk from all the other zims arent helping either.)

How delightfully angsty Anon! You just made me cry gave me inspiration for a chapter 2!

Bring some tissues and strap in! We’re going on another feels trip! I apologize for any sadness this chapter may bring you!

Be warned: There’s spoilers for the Invader Zim comics ahead!

First Chapter

Protip: If you listen to a funny song (like a meme song such as: All Star or even circus music) while reading angst then it helps halt the tears. 

Meanwhile, your Zim had just climbed the ranks in the arena.

“Congratulations, 2170, you’re the new 2165. You can look forward to your new assignment, Mold Scraper” 500 sighed as he changed the number on your Zim’s collar.

“What?! No! Is that better than sewage unclogger?” Your Zim huffed.

“Very slightly”

“Unacceptable! I demand something better!” You Zim snapped as he pointed to the sky.

“Well if you really want to participate in more fights..” 500 pulled out his book of Zim opponents and flipped through the pages.

“As many as it takes! It’ll be a cakewalk! No Zim walks cakes better than I! You hear?!” You Zim declared as he shook his fist at the sky.

“Just point me in the way of the mes I need to destroy!” Your Zim’s voice dripped with venom as a sinister grin spread across his face.

“Alright, let me chose your next opponent. Just wait here for a bit.” 500 groaned as he gestured to an empty seat in the waiting area.

Your Zim promptly took his seat and let out a sigh. While he would never admit it, he was starting to get tired.

“Why am I even doing this? Everyone knows that I’m the superior Zim! And what’s with all of this talk of ‘things’. This Zim needs no pathetic ‘thing’! These battles are a waste of my time!” Your Zim thought to himself.

Suddenly his mind reminded him of something you once said to him when he was feeling down:

“Sometimes, we have to do things we don’t want to do. Does it suck? Yeah. But can you do it? Absolutely. Zim, you’re the best at everything you do! Go out there and show them who’s boss!”

Your Zim chuckled as he straightened up a bit. He opened his PAK and a small gadget popped out and displayed a hologram of you.

It wasn’t just any hologram of you. It was his personal favorite hologram of you.

In the hologram, you were wearing your fanciest formal attire for the Skool dance. You looked so lovely that evening. Your Zim let out a dreamy sigh as he remembered that night:

“Thanks for coming with me, Zim.” You smiled as you held Zim’s hand.

“It’s of no trouble, Sweet Y/N! I’d like learn more about these human ‘dances’” Your Zim explained as he followed you inside the Skool.

You gently lead your Zim to the lunchroom. The lunchroom was poorly decorated in half assed streamers and poorly edited posters that read: “Danse”.  The smell of mold and expired milk still lingered in the air but your Zim didn’t care.

All he could focus on was the feeling of your hand intertwined with his.

“Seriously, Y/N?! I can’t believe you brought that alien monster to the dance! He probably wants to plant a bomb or something!”

Dib’s whining woke your Zim from his thoughts.

“Dib, he’s not a monster. Zim and I are just here to dance and have a good time.” You huffed as you shot Dib a glare.

“Yeah! So go wallow in your lonely existence somewhere else, Dib-Stink!” Your Zim added.

“Zim! Don’t stoop to his level!” You scolded as you shot your Zim a glare.

“I don’t get it! What do you even see in him?! He’s an alien! An evil monster that wants to destroy mankind! How can you stand there and call him your boyfriend?!” Dib ranted as he gestured to Zim.

“Dib, there’s more to Zim than you think. He’s not evil and has given up on destroying the Earth like a year ago.” You huffed.

“Do you honestly believe he’s changed?! How gullible can you be?! Why don’t you -”

“I’m not going to argue with you, Dib! Leave us alone!” You interjected.

“Gah! Why do you love him?! There’s so many better people out there! You could do so much better!” Dib insisted.

“C’mon, Zim let’s go find somewhere else to dance.” You growled as you gently lead your Zim away from Dib.

Your Zim let you lead him away from Dib but stuck his worm like tongue at him while you weren’t looking.

“You should be dancing with me…” Dib trailed off as he hung his head in defeat.

“You’d think after you apologized said you’ve changed that Dib would leave you be.” You grumbled as you sat down at one of the open lunch tables.

“Oh let’s not let the Dib monkey rain all over our perfect dance!” Zim mused as he sat beside you.

“Heh. I guess you’re right, about that.” You giggled.

“Attention, students! It’s time for the obligatory slow dance! Find yourself a partner or suffer in your bone crushing loneliness!” The DJ announced.

“Slow Dance? Are they going to bring out a time warper and slow down the flow of time?!” Your Zim squealed as his eyes lit up.

“I wish! But no. A slow dance is where they play a really mushy love song and you’re supposed to dance all slow to it.” You chuckled.

“Oh. I liked the time warp idea better.” Your Zim pouted.

“Yeah, me too. Wanna slow dance anyway?” You offered as you got up.

“Sure, why not?” Your Zim chirped as he joined you.

You gently took your Zim’s hand and lead him to the dance floor.

Upon observing how the other students were dancing, Your Zim activated his spider legs and gently put his hands around your waist.

You giggled as put your hands on his shoulders.

Your Zim was very nervous but the soft look in your eyes put him at ease.

Soon the music began and all your Zim could focus on was you.  

Your Zim followed your gentle movements. His hips swayed with yours and let the music take the reigns.

“Wise men say, Only fools rush in.  

But I can’t help falling in love with you.”

You mouthed the words as you gazed into Zim’s eyes.

“Shall I stay? Would it be a sin? Oh if I can’t help

Falling in love with you.”

There may have not been a time warper nearby but time still felt like it was slowing down none the less.

“Like a river flows, slowly to the sea. Darling so it goes

Some things are meant to be”

Suddenly the other students seemed to melt away. It soon it felt as if you and your Zim were the only ones in the room.

“Take my hand, take my whole life too. Oh for I can’t help,

Falling in love with you”

Your Zim gazed deeply into your E/C eyes. They looked as if they twinkled with stardust.

“Like a river flows, slowly to the sea, darling so it goes,

Somethings are meant to be”

Your Zim never thought he’d ever feel anything like affection in his life. He used to think affection was for the weak but all of that changed once he met you.

“Oh take my hand, take my whole life too. Oh for I can’t help

Falling in love with you”

Your Zim never expected a human to be on his list of the most beautiful things he’d ever seen but there you were.

Your Zim had travelled throughout the universe and had seen his fair share of beautiful things but you? You surpassed every single one of those things. It so was more than just your physical appearance as well.

You were strong, intelligent, and most importantly,

You were open minded.

You never judged nor made fun of him. You always gave him the respect he so rightfully deserved! You were the only one who understood his incredible genius! You were perfect in every way.

“Oh for I can’t help

Falling in love with you” You and your Zim’s voices melted together as you gently pressed you’re foreheads together.

The moment the song ended, your Zim’s instincts kicked in.

Without a second thought, he removed his hands from around your waist.

He cupped your face and pulled you into a passionate kiss.

It wasn’t just any kiss, however. It was a first kiss. For the both of you.

Your eyes were wide for a moment before slowly closing as you let your Zim explore every inch of your mouth.

Your tongue playfully wrestled with his as he let out a few muffled chirps and purrs.

“Hey! Excuse me!”

The sound 500’s tired voice brought your Zim back to reality.

“Huh? Gah!” Your Zim yelped as he realized he was kissing your hologram.

“You should probably put that away. You’re never gonna see them again.” 500 sighed as he gestured to your hologram.

“Nonsense! Of course I’ll see my sweet Y/N again!” Your Zim insisted as he shut off the hologram.

“That’s what every Zim says” 500 groaned as a few tears begun to trickle down his cheeks.

“And your point is?”

“My point is that you’re stuck here forever. No Zim has ever successfully left the Zimvoid. You might as well forget that your Y/N, heck, any Y/N even existed. Trust me, keeping those memories around just makes things worse than they already are.” 500 explained as a few more tears streamed down his face.

“No! You lie! YOU LIE!” Your Zim screeched as a few tears of his own begun to form in his eyes.

“That’s what every Zim says.” 500 shook his head as he dried his tears.

“I will leave this filthy planet! I will leave this planet and see my sweet Y/N again IF ITS THE LAST THING I DO!!” Your Zim roared as a few tears dripped down his cheeks.

“Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I’ve heard it all before. Here. I’ve found your next opponent. Come with me please.” 500 groaned as he lead your Zim back to the arena.

“Very well! GIVE ME YOUR WORST!”

Next

[cyrelia-j]

[ficlet] #21: Knowledge (Jack/Julian)

Another 30 Days of Jack which was going to be more Julian and Jack making out and then this angsty shit happened -_-

All of these are under the tag “30 days of jack”

Series note: These start out Jack/Sarina moving to Jack/Julian (as you can see lol). I’ll just tack on here as a note that Jack is ace. These aren’t always being posted in chronological order. For now the timeline is as follows: 1, 2, 12, 11, 15, 16, 7, 4, 8, 13, 3, 19, 5, 14, 10, 18, 20, bonus #c, 21, 9, 6, bonus #a, bonus #b, 17

To refresh- this takes place after Jack decides to stay on DS9 after he’s settled in a bit- continuing the burgeoning relationship between him and Julian

Warnings: Angst and mentions of past child abuse

Jack meets Julian one morning in the holosuites, on a Vulcan hiking trail. The program was a gift from the Bolian who owned the junk shop (full of artifacts and books, god the books!). The Bolian said it was a worthless thing- the higher gravity of the program making it unusable for most of his customers- and he was more interested in bubblegum anyway which was fine by Jack because they made a good trade of chewing gum for cinnamon sticks and the program. Jack loves the program. The mountain passes are unforgiving, the terrain hot, stifling, but it’s Perfect to him. The gravity is a challenge and there are mornings where he feels he could run forever or just… lay back exhausted and look up at the red sky from the shade of one of the cliff faces.

He… wanted to share this with Julian. Not just the landscape at, not just the quiet, but a world where they could be everything they were meant to be without restriction. He asked Julian why he never thought about Vulcan if he was so determined to drown in a sea unnoticed as any other wave. But there was just a look from Julian, a Serious face soon broken with a curve of his lips asking if Jack could really see him on Vulcan and… and Jack had laughed because it was so absurd! Jack had laughed maybe harder than he ever had at anything every picture of Julian trying to Adapt, the images coming one after another until he was on his knees trying to breathe he was laughing so hard and it… it was so Good that he still smiled thinking about it.

“I still don’t understand why you like this so much. Maybe I’ve been on the station too long but it’s just so hot. You’d be better off bringing Garak here. He’d probably love you for it.”

“He doesn’t like me.”

“He doesn’t like many people. He just doesn’t respect them enough to be honest about it.” Jack pauses at that. Oh. That’s different then, he decides, looking out over the valley ahead of them. He isn’t quite sure how to… how to put into words. He never is- never his own words anyway. “The holy time is quiet as a Nun. Breathless with adoration, the broad sink is sinking down in its tranquility.”

“William Wordsworth. You’ll ah… go easy on me, won’t you?”

Jack looks at him long, measured, knowing it’s a joke, knowing it’s just one of those things people say, and he hates “one of those things” because they can’t be argued and arguing jokes and throway statements without meaning is part of what makes him Crazy but-

“I’m just kidding, Jack,” Julian says softly and he… doesn’t look annoyed or irritated so… so Jack takes stock of his Tone before answering too sharply, trying, trying always trying and sometimes he thinks it was easier when he wasn’t.

“I know that,” he says sure it’s still too terse but-

“But?” Julian asks and Jack doesn’t know why he couldn’t be this tolerable months ago. Jack likes this. Maybe he should’ve kissed him sooner? Maybe he should’ve… tried harder that first night.

Jack looks down, absently playing with the zipper - hardly any better than biting his finger - as he considers so many things, considers the mind deserting the body it has used fly away, fly away, staring hard at the clothes he wore today. He’s wearing black leggings, running shoes, and a sleeveless zip up thing that leaves him so exposed, so vulnerable, such a miserable awful thing if it were anyone there but Julian, he realizes. He breathes, the air making it easier as he looks at Julian and looks at the steep trail ahead of them.

“I never never want to be less than what I am ever!” He yells not meaning to yell but it burbled out of the tulgey wood before he could call it back snicker snack and- “I don’t understand how how you can be less can stifle, can live like this and I will not go easy on you just because you… because you… chose to be weak!”

His head swims, spins, heart racing and he hasn’t started running yet except… except he is running, running so fast, as fast as only he can run, the hot wind whipping past his face as his arms pump, as the blood moves through his legs his muscles stressed, stretched, alive and not stuffed away in a little box to watch the undless stars that he’ll never see.

“Catch me!” He yells turning his head, seeing Julian falling further and further back. “If you think you can, if you think you’ll ever reach the moon wavering in the water, if you ever think you’ll be able to catch it the way you are you’re wrong wrong!”

Head tucked he runs faster, starting to feel that stretch of muscles, that limit that tells him if he goes farther pushes harder he can break it if he just does a little more, yells louder, looks closer, sleeps less, thinks, thinks-

“You think I chose this?! You think I like living like this?!” He hears Julian’s voice behind him, their steps thundering, and he’s a tiger beetle tearing across the rocky red landscape so fast that even his enhanced sight blurs, his feet tracking by memory as he runs harder and harder towards the top.

“Of course you like it! You have everything, everything I ever wanted!” Jack’s muscles are starting to scream at him and he screams back just as loudly that he doesn’t get tired and he doesn’t feel pain and if he just keeps going he’ll-

“Did you ever think that I might want what you have?! To not have to hide?! To not have to lie to everyone?! To wonder when they’ll finally find out, to wonder when they’ll all hate me?!” Closer, coming closer which shouldn’t be possible but Julian has those legs but Julian isn’t Jack, and Julian cannot cannot do what Jack does!

“Lie to them not me! Everyone everyone loves you!” Jack sees the trail cutting through rocks but sees the rocks themselves tall intimidating sentries of the mountain and he launches himself, feeling the impact combined with his speed when he leaps, kicking off the first up high, just enough momentum to grab the ledge swinging up.

“They don’t even know me! They love a lie, they love a fake!” Jack’s eyes are wide as he turns back, pulling, the joints strained, seeing Julian… following him which shouldn’t be Possible because Julian said that he couldn’t do what Jack could do and- “They love what they want to see, my father loved his perfect son as long as he behaved. As long as he smiled, performed, as long as my father smiled I was good and he didn’t hurt me, does that sounds familiar?!” There’s a tear as Jack jumps again, he knows it, distal tricep rupture which happened when he was thirteen and climbing up up was the only way to get away from… Julian’s following him and he doesn’t know why but he has to Get Away but he has to Stop because Julian is… Julian is

“Why are you crying?!””I didn’t pay for you to be a failure””I didn’t pay for you to be weak” “Stop wasting my time with Nonsense””Stop playing stupid””Be Silent Be Still Be Have Be Better!”

Jack stops, dropping back down to the ledge, holding his hand out, his right arm hanging at his side.

“Jack, you’re-” He takes Julian’s hand, pulling him up easily, fighting the urge to step back against the rock.

“It is true, we shall be monsters, cut off from all the world; but on that account we should be more attached to one another.” Jack says, raising both arms, hugging Julian to him tightly.

“Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley,” Julian answers to his shoulder, hugging him back just as fiercely.

“Why do you… why do you do that hm? Are you making fun of me? Do you think that I don’t know where it comes from hmhm?” He feels Julian shake his head, feeling Julian breathing into his shoulder, the both of them trying to turn shuddered respirations to steady breaths.

“It’s not that I… I guess I just want to remind you that I understand… and that I’m a mutant too.”

[welcomethefears]

The Captain’s Bride - Steve Rogers x Reader - Chapter 1

Oh no, I made another fanfic. This one is based on the Princess Bride and stars Steve as Westly, with the reader as Buttercup. I hope all of you enjoy this, you can find the story here and here

Chapter 1 (This is it) || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 || Chapter 7  || Chapter 8

Cassie sat in her room, playing Mario Kart as she coughed quietly to herself. Her brown hair was a tangled mess and she felt utterly miserable as if she was drowning in her own snot. She paused the game quickly, trying to clasp a tissue on her wooden bedside table. She sneezed harshly into it, blowing her nose afterward. Her head felt heavy, and she sighed, her nose and dry from her use of tissues. Maggie stood at the door to her daughter’s room, leaning on the frame with on hand on her hip. She shook her head as she watched the young girl, hating seeing her sick. Maggie walked in, sitting on the edge of Cassie’s bed. She laid a hand on the girl’s head, feeling the heat from it she frowned.

“Hi Honey…” She trailed off, watching her daughter carefully with soft eyes.

“Hi Mum,” She replied meekly, reaching for yet another tissue and blowing her nose. Maggie’s frown deepened, her eyes glazing with worry.

“You feeling any better than last night?” Maggie asked, stroking Cassie’s hair out of her face.

“A little bit I guess,” Cassie trailed off, coughing lightly. She reached for the Thomas the Tank Engine drink bottle on her bedside table and took a sip from it.

“Well, guess what?” Maggie asked, a small smile painting itself across her face.

“What?” Cassie asked, excitement sparkling in her eyes. Cassie had always loved surprises, and she could almost feel her sickness evaporate from her sinuses.

“Your dad is here,” Maggie smiled lightly as she saw Cassie’s face light up even more. Cassie threw her arms in the air, cheering the best she could in her condition.

“Yay! DAD’S HERE!” Cassie cheered, coughing from her outburst.

“He’ll be looking after you today while I’m at work,” Maggie informed the child, who nodded in response.

“Peanut!” A voice exclaimed before the figure even entered the room, causing Cassie to squeal in utter delight. Scott soon rushed into the room, Maggie standing from the bed and watching the two interact together. Scott ran to Cassie’s bed and embraced her in a hug, giving her cheek a sloppy kiss, drawing a giggle from the girl’s scratchy throat. Scott grinned down at his daughter, placing his backpack on the floor beside his daughter's bed.

“I had better get to work, thanks for doing this Scott,” Maggie announced, giving her daughter a kiss on the forehead and leaving the room. The father and daughter waited until they heard the front door close and a car driving away, and two giggling in each other’s faces once they were sure Maggie was gone.

“So, what first? Eat all the ice-cream in the house? Watch some violent movies?” Scott teased, tickling his daughter's side. Cassie was practically screaming from joy until she pushed her father off to sneeze into a tissue again. Scott sat back on the bed, watching his daughter.

“Maybe nothing too crazy then,” He murmured, looking a little disappointed to not be participating in childish activities. Cassie blew her nose rather hard and groaned after she did so.

“How about you read me a story! I really like the ones you get for me,” Cassie suggested, Scott clicking his fingers as the words left her mouth.

“That reminds me, I have a present for you,” He smiled as he hastily unzipped his backpack, pulling out a parcel wrapped in gold paper, “Go on, open it.”

Cassie grinned toothily up at her father, tearing the paper apart. She slowed down however once she got a look at what was inside.

“A book, without pictures?” She questioned, raising an eyebrow at her father.

“Not just any book. This is the exact book my father read to me when I younger, and his old man read it to him. I grew up on this thing,” He replied, carefully taking the book from her hand and running his thumb over the cover.

“Today, I’m gonna read it to you,” Scott grinned as he said this, feeling proud of himself.

“Does it have any action in it?” Cassie questioned, thinking anything from her father’s childhood wouldn’t be interesting for her.

“Are you kidding me? Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escape, true love, miracles. This book has the whole shebang!” He exclaimed, causing Cassie to giggle at his excitement.

“Doesn’t sound terrible. I’ll try and stay awake!” Cassie joked as her father scoffed.

“Thanks for the reassurance. Look to help make it better, we’ll use characters that I know, and that you probably know too. Alright, The Princess Bride, S. Morgan Stern, Chapter 1…” Scott trailed off as he begun the story.

~*~

“(Y/N) was raised on a small farm in the country of Florin. Her favourite past times were horse riding and tormenting the weak farm boy that worked there. His name was Steve, but she never gave him the privilege of being called by his first name. Isn’t that a wonderful beginning,” Scott questioned.

“Yeah, she seems really nice,” Cassie said sarcastically.

“Nothing gave (Y/N) as much pleasure as ordering Steve around,” Scott explained. You came running around the corner, your (H/L) (H/C) hair flying behind you as you found Steve. He was quite skinny, with a tuft of fair blonde hair covering his head. He had hardly any muscle about him, but he was the hardest worker on the farm, even more so than your father.

“Farmboy, varnish my horse’s saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning,” You instructed, leaning on the wooden pole near where he stood. He took in her form, a slight smile coming to his lips as he looked over you even though you were dressed in plain brown clothing. He marveled at how beautiful you were, even with peasant clothing on.

“As you wish,” He promised, already pulling the varnish from its spot. He sent you a small smile, causing you to scowl in return, throwing your head around and stalking off.

“‘As you wish’ was all he ever said to her,” Scott explained. You walked up to Steve, holding two empty water pails in your hands, huffing at the effort it took.

“Farm boy, fill these with water,” You paused, thinking your words over before you quietly added, “Please?” Steve walked up to you, carefully taking the water pails from your hand. His fingers brushed against the soft skin of your (s/c) hand, and he heard you draw in a harsh breath. He blushed in response to this, taking the water pails away from you.

“As you wish,” He smiled, his eyes staring at you softly, causing your face to flush a deep red.

“That day, she was amazed to discover that when Steve was saying, ‘As you wish’ what he meant to say was ‘I love you’. And even more amazing, was the day she realized she truly loved him back,” Scott narrated.

You entered the kitchen of your house, spotting Steve pouring himself some tea.

“Farm boy, fetch me that pitcher,” You instructed, your (E/C) meeting Steve’s blue ones. He pulled it from the top self, walking over to you so the only thing between the two of you was the pitcher. He leaned towards your ear, his hot breath blowing onto your neck.

“As you wish,” He whispered softly, before pulling away, his eyes meeting yours. Your breath hitched as your gaze trailed down to his lips. You felt his gaze on your lips as well, so you both leaned in, no longer denying the chemistry between you.

~*~

“WAIT, WAIT STOP!” Cassie yelled, Scott looking up from the book and over at his daughter.

“Are you playing a joke on me, you told me there was action. But it's a soppy kissy book,” She complained, rolling her eyes at her father.

“Just wait,” Scott chastised.

“When does it get good?” Cassie moaned, letting her arms harshly slam onto her quilt.

“Don’t get your knickers in a knot, let me read,” Scott instructed.

~*~

“Steve was a poor man and had no money for marriage. He did get an offer however from a program, promising him fortune if only he traveled across the seas. So, Steve packed his few belongings and left. It was a very emotional time for (Y/N),” Scott narrated. The sun was rising as you stood outside the farmhouse with Steve, embracing him in your arms as your foreheads touched, as you were nearly the same height. He gave you a loving kiss, tangling his hands in your hair before he pulled away from the kiss. He held you tightly in his arms, your hands bawling into fists in his shirt.

“I’m afraid I’ll never see you again,” You whimpered, fat tears rolling down your cheeks. Steve wiped them away with his thumb, humming lightly at your remark.

“Of course, you will,” He whispered.

“But what if something goes wrong, what if something happens to you?” You questioned, panic rising in your chest.

“Hear this now, I will always come for you,” Steve assured, pulling you further into his chest.

“But how can you be sure?” You asked once again, hoping to quell the worry swirling in your mind.

“This is true love. You think this happens every day?” He questioned, before leaning down and capturing your lips once again. He held you there, your lips dancing in sync as you tasted the salty tears that escaped your eyes. He pulled away, both of you panting quietly. He kissed your forehead lightly, pulling away from your embrace and walking towards the horizon. You felt empty as he did this, watching as he left. Before he went completely out of sight, however, you saw him blow you a kiss. And so, you returned it, tears spilling down your cheeks at a rapid, unstoppable pace, staining them.

“Steve didn’t reach his destination. His ship was attacked by Hydra and their leader the Red Skull, who never left captives alive. When (Y/N) got news that Steve was murdered-” Scott’s narration was cut off by his daughter’s exclamation.

“Murdered by Hydra, that’s a good start!” She cheered, Scott sending her a glare, unhappy with her reaction to Steve’s death.

“She went into her room and shut the door, and for days she neither slept nor ate,” Scott narrated.

You sat in your room, staring at the wall. Your eyes were raw and puffy from your constant crying.

“I will never love again,” You croaked, tears spilling down your face. You did not sob, however, having no energy nor voice to do this any more than you already had.

[chojin-cu-chulain]

Captain Starmaster 3010

**Content warning, and Trigger warning for suicide: Even though it is depicted as a fictional event even within the confines of the story, a character commits suicide. This isn’t to glorify it, but to show an in universe shocking twist in the fictional game, and because the character was experiencing an existential crisis. I apologize to any survivors, or loved ones of people who have committed suicide who might get offended**

The following is taken from a now deleted blog called “Games Addiction” run by a user calling themselves “OldHerbz” or Herbz for short that mostly specialized in the review of obscure video games from the 8 bit, and 16 bit eras occasionally going to into other types of games.

March 15, 2015: Yo Yo everybody it’s your boy Herbz here, and welcome to another installment of Games Addiction were I find old games no one’s heard about, and see if they’re Class 5 classics for Class 1 crud.

So today I was at the local flea market like always scoping out for new games when I saw a counter run by some old guy I had never seen before.

The counter had a bunch of games I had seen before like sports games, shooters, Zelda 2, etc but there was this one Sega Genesis cartridge that caught my eye.

It didn’t have a sticker on it just a piece of white tape with the words “Starmaster” written on it.

I thought it sound like a spaceship shooter like Raiden or R Type, so I asked the man running the counter, and he said it was $5 so I poneyed up the cash and bought it.

So, let’s see how this game plays shall we?

So, we got the usual stuff like “Licensed by Sega of America”, and some logos from a company called Cytek or something that I never heard of before, but the copyright stuff says 1990.

Now there’s a shot of the Earth in outer space, and some white text crawling up.

The text says “Earth: the year 2010. War, and pollution have taken their toll on the Earth, and it cannot continue to support human life.”

We see what looks like a futuristic city with some flashing explosions, Then the screen goes white, and when it clears the city is in ruins

There’s a clip of some scientists working in a lab which pans to show this giant spaceship that looks like some giant tower poking out of a flying saucer

“The surviving governments of the world have decided to put aside their differences just once to come together to combine their collective intellect to create a space colony called the Eden”

there are some guards in futuristic military clothes leading a crowd of faceless people into ramp that leads into the ship.

“The Eden will take a small 10, 000,000-person population into space in the hopes that someday when the effects of man’s ravaging of the planet undo themselves man can return to his home.”

It goes back to Earth in space only now it looks all weird, and alien, and post-apocalyptic, and all that stuff

“The year is now 3010, Scientists on the Eden have determined that the Earth is once again fit for human inhabitation but there is one problem:

In the intervening millennium Earth has been overrun with dangerous, and carnivorous life forms.”

We see a bunch of weird looking monsters the most normal looking ones I can think of look like some humanoid mammal monsters with claws, and slanted eyes but even then they have horns coming out of their elbows, their arms are held out like a mantis’s, and their walking like their sitting down.

The weirder ones look like flying blobs or lizards with what look like moaning human faces, or they look like something out of an old episode of Star Trek.

Then one of these monsters looks directly at the player, and slashes at the screen leaving these white claw marks

“The only hope for humanity is to send down the Eden’s greatest, and bravest soldier Captain Starmaster down to Earth to eliminate the predatory mutants so mankind can reclaim the Earth.”

We see some guy step out of the darkness, and he looks like something out of VR Troopers or Ropcop with this white or silver armor, a black visor, and all sorts of glowing lights on him.

All the while there’s this bad ass sounding super heroic music playing.

“Captain Starmaster is equipped with the most powerful, and deadly weapons in human history as well as various tools which can help him explore any terrain no matter how treacherous”

Now there’s a POW show that looks life your typical red screen with techno crap all over including a target.

Next, we see Captain Starmaster firing some futuristic machine gun that shoots lasers.

We then see the various monsters from earlier being hit and blown up by the lasers in the most PG rated way humanly possible.

Then it shows Captain Starmaster, and the title screen shows up in these futuristic silver letters that say “Captain Starmaster 3010”

There’s a thing that says, “Start Game”, and another that says “Menu”

I go down to “Menu” first, and hit start, and it shows the usual stuff like Passwords, Dificulty, Music all that Jazz.

Anyway, on to the actual game itself I go up, and hit start game

The first level seems to rocky mountain level.

A green text box with a red orb of light next to it shows up.

The text box reads “Captain Starmaster this is Eden do you read us?’

Then the red orb is replaced with a picture of Captain Starmaster’s face.

He says “I read you. My goodness it’s worse than we thought”.

The Red orb replies “Starmaster we need you to clear out all the mutants in this area. We are sending you a Sonic Wave Gun, and some Climbing Claws to help you with your mission.”

Starmaster than says “Understood Eden commencing mission”

The red orb replies with “Good Luck Captain you are only hope”

The game itself seems to be some Metroid knock off.

I don’t think Sega had too many of those except for Slime World but they did have a lot of Mario, and Zelda clones.

The controls are pretty simple you use the D Pad to move around, A jumps, B fires your weapon which is the laser machine gun from the cutscene Start pauses, and C brings up a menu where you equip weapons, and gear which is blank for now.

I move around the level there’s all sorts of weird flying turtle monsters with Xenomorph looking teeth, and rocks that look like they’re part of the background but then when you get too close, they turn out to be some centipede looking creatures.

Eventually I get to some futuristic white pods I can go into.

When I do Starmaster glows green, and a text box says, “You now have Climbing Claws”, and “You now have Sonic Wave Gun”.

When I go to the cliffs, I can now climb up them, and when I switch to the Sonic Wave gun Starmaster’s gun now shoots this yellow wave at enemies that can shatter certain rocks so I can move forward.

After what seems like forever I finally get to the boss.

It looks like some weird mix of a gorilla, and a mole on top but the bottom looks like an earth worm or a snake.

It attacks by shooting its own wave attack, and then launching a couple of rocks that attack the player in some circular motion.

It takes me forever but eventually I find out you supposed to hit the monster’s eyes until some green jewel like orb shows up on its stomach, and fire at it.

Eventually I win, and the monster explodes in typical 16-bit fire effects.

That’s all for now but tommorow I’ll get to the other levels.

I’ll try to be as brief as I can with the next few levels.

So now we have a forest level.

The trees are a mix of the kind you’d see in a forest in California, the kind you’d find in the jungle.

Some of them have seeds that look like angry faces with sharp teeth, and move around with spider leg like roots, and attack by waving their branches around like whips.

Some of the monsters look like a cross between a wild cat, and some bug like a termite or a wasp.

I’m supposed to get a weapon called “Homing Sniper”, and an item called “Wood Saw”

The homing Sniper ends up being some blue laser that locks on to enemies in an L shape, and the wood saw clears trees you can’t get past.

The boss is weird I don’t know if it’s one creature or two.

The top part looks like some yellow, and black insect with dragon fly like wings, spider eyes, and a grasshopper like body while the bottom looks like some tumble weed with a billion purple eyes, and these giant white, and red flowers that shoot lasers.

I find out the weak spot is the wings, and the tumble weed part, and move on.

Next is an ice level with these creatures that look giant balls of fur with teeth and tentacles, and giant sea urchins that look like they’re made of ice.

I get these boots that let you walk on ice without slipping, and a flame thrower for melting blocks.

The boss is some weird lizard creature that looks like a brontosaurus with a turtle shell, and a t rex head that breaths freezing mist, and shoots lasers out it’s eyes that I have to shoot the neck of when it’s not attacking.

Next is volcano level where I get a heat shield, and an ice beam.

Some of the monsters here are weird looking like these green blobs that turn into humanoid shapes, and some hoping stick insects that fire spread shots.

The boss reminds me of Gudis from Ultraman towards the future only skinnier, and purple.

It attacks with these blue energy rings, and this green gas.

I’m supposed to use the freeze ray to freeze the gas into a platform that I can use to climb and use my other weapons to attack the exposed brain which is the weak spot.

Now it’s a water level there’s all these weird monsters that look like a cross between a crab or a lobster, and some coral.

Another looks like some squid or octopus, but its tentacles are electric eels

I’m supposed to get an item that allows Starmaster to move through the water without sinking, and an “Electro Gun” that fires electricity in a weird trident formation.

I get to the boss, and it’s some cross between a shark, a whale, a manta ray, and a bunch of other sea animals.

The weirdest thing is that sometimes it points itself up, and the bottom which is now the front looks like some deformed mermaid or something.

I’m supposed to hit this angle like tail it has when it goes to the mermaid stage.

After that I get another cutscene where the red orb of light says “Captain Starmaster we believe we have found your last target enter the ruins, and eliminate the mutant menace once and for all”

Starmaster replies “Affirmative Eden I will not fail”.

The next level is a sewer level they bring back some of the monster from previous levels and include some of the monsters from the opening cutscene.

It also seems like a final exam level because I’m supposed to use all the weapons, and items I collected so far.

I also have to get one last time that lets Starmaster go through radiation clouds without getting hurt, and this thing called “The Super Laser” that’s this big laser that takes up a third of the screen.

Not only that but I have to fight the bosses again.

Then I get another section and it looks like the surface of the ruined city from the opening cut scene.

I fight all the various monsters until eventually I get to the final boss.

I’m trying to think of a good way to describe it other than it’s like a PG rated version of something you’d see in John Carpenter’s The Thing.

It’s got four legs, and four arms, it has insect wings, and bird wings.

The legs look like a mix of reptile, and mammal.

I think has fins, and gills, and it has some weird mollusk like head with a billion eyes, and some melting looking human face for a stomach.

It’s not surprisingly the hardest boss in the game since you have to use every weapon in the game to hurt it.

It swipes at you with its arms that your supposed to freeze into platforms to climb and shoot the head.

Then it fires lasers and breaths fire, and you’re supposed to use the electro gun, and homing sniper on the head.

Next it spits acid, and you’re supposed to use the Sonic Wave gun to disorient it while you use the flame thrower on its acid sacs.

Finally, it fires a wave attack from the melting face while you use the super laser to finish it off.

At last we get one final cutscene.

Captain Starmaster then walks through the ruins of the destroyed city and enters a building.

He walks up to a computer, and a spike comes out of his arm like in Robocop and he enters it into a port.

Some binary code flashes on the monitor, and then we see an image of a man in a recording.

Some text appears on the screen.

“They abandoned us. They thought no one else was left on this planet but we were”.

The man continues “Please if you can hear us there are still people trapped on Earth. Pleas rescue us”.

The recording continues “It’s no use we’re stuck here our best bet is to try to survive, and repair what’s left of the Earth”.

Then the recording shows the man only now his teeth looked like fangs, and his eyes were all yellow.

The man said “It’s too late. Our scienitsts say because of all the lingering chemicals, and radiation those of us left behind are starting to mutate.”

He adds “At first it will be physical but at some point, our minds will revert back to knowing only how to kill or be killed. Oh god why us.

Then finally it just shows one of the monsters from the game, and the text now says “Meat. I must have meat”. Then it shows him roaring, and it plays the sound file for the monsters roaring.

Starmaster then asks, “Did you see that Eden?”

Then the red orb of light appears and replies “unfortunately yes captain”.

Then it flashes back to the Eden leaving Earth.

Then it shows a still image of people on the Eden as the text says “At first when humanity left Earth in the Eden everything was peaceful, and everyone was happy”

Then it shows the people looking frightened.

The text says “But it didn’t last the survivors realized they weren’t enough resources to survive a permanent existence in Eden”

Then it shows Eden’s computers, and the inhabitants looking at the Eden’s robotic workers.

The text now says, “Faced with a difficult decision the survivors made the hardest choice they could make”.

It then shows the people in tubes next to computers with glowing lights, and then cut to the lights on the eyes of the Eden’s robots lighting up

The text continues “The inhabitants of Eden downloaded their brains into the ship’s computers, and then uploaded them into robotic bodies.”

It then cut back to Starmaster in the building saying “So that’s it. It was all for nothing”.

Then it shows Starmaster taking off his helmet to reveal a Terminator like robot skull.

Next Starmaster reaches into his own chest plate pulls out a device that looks like a cross between a mechanical heart, and a miniature nuclear reactor, and crushes.

Then his red eyes go dead.

Next, we see the Eden land, and its robotic inhabitants walk out.

We see the robots doing experiments on the mutants.

The text says “Unfortunately the inhabitants of Eden were unable to return the mutants to human form but they after continuous experimentations were able to restore the inhabitants’ sentience.

Then it shows the robots growing mutants in tube, and then showed them going back into the mind transference machines.

Then it shows the mutants in the tubes waking up, and it showed the robots, and mutants living in harmony.

Then the text says “And so the sad tale of Captain Starmaster came to a happy end. Humanity maybe extinct but life will find a way to continue who knows for sure if this is truly the fate that awaits us but if we continue on our current path it might”.

Then it shows the Earth in space again with the letters Game Over The End.

Well that’s Captain Starmaster.

The graphics are great for the time.

The gameplay is awesome.

I wonder why they never released it publicly other than obviously the big twist would have been seen as a bit too intense for young kids.

Not to mention I can’t help that a lot of players would have thought the twist would seem like a fuck you ism to them.

Still considering that environmentalism was a big deal back then, and this was just before the USSR ended, I can see why they felt the need to make a point on what the aftermath of war and pollution.

That is why I’m declaring Captain Starmaster a class 5 addicting game.

This is OldHerbz saying stay addicted.

[earl-of-221b]

驱魔录

Qu Mo Lu － Part 2 of Translations, 2016 chapters, chapters 15-19

Treacherous Sea.

Chapter 15

Follow bubbles right to left.

(Lanterns blinking on boats out at sea.)

Girl: “Grandad, the rain’s gotten heavier again. Are we still able out to sea tomorrow?”

Grandad: “No, no going out on these waves. A typhoon is coming. Let’s clear up and go.”

Girl: “Grandad, on that rock ledge — I think there’s someone there.”

Stranger, standing on rock: “This water splashing upon my body, I feel none of it. But then why is it that it feels so familiar?”

Girl and Grandad: “Young man, don’t do it, don’t do anything stupid! Hey, you, hurry and get down, it’s so dangerous!”

—

Girl: “Hahah, so you weren’t trying to end your life, phew. Sorry for the misunderstanding.”

Grandad: “Judging on your smooth skin and unmarked body, you must be from of a family with money. A young master, right?” *Cough, cough.*

“Yingzi, go find some clean clothes for him to change into.”

(Yingzi is the name of the girl.)

(As the stranger changes into new clothes, he shows a glimpse of his intricately tattooed back. A lotus flower is in the middle.)

—

Chapter 16

(A cult-like gathering. Note: keep in mind that any magical/religious terms used in this comic has no relation to christianity. The word ‘priestess’ here is used to denote someone who has contact with the sea gods.)

Priestess: “In this unwell world the gods are angry; us mortals are suffering! I have received word from Tongling Sea-God, his highness, just now. If we want peace and mercy there is only one way, there is no other choice. You should discuss about it amongst yourselves.”

Civilian: “Priestess, even the sky has forsaken us this year. This time the typhoon will stop us from being able to go out to see for many days!”

Head Fisherman: “Are you saying we have to sacrifice again? It’s not as if we have limitless fifteen-to-sixteen years old girls in this village.”

Multiple Civilians: “Yeah, Old Head.”

“But Head, You — your Yingzi, isn’t she at that age now? If you can’t we’ll…”

“Yeah, yeah…”

(The Head Fisherman is the grandad of Yingzi.)

Head Fisherman, middle bubble: “No! Yingzi’s parents are all gone. In this family, I’ve only got this one niece left.”

Multiple Different Civilians: “Head Fisherman, you can’t be so selfish like that! This is for the sake of our entire village.”

“Yes, it’s a great responsibility.”

“You have to do it for the lives of everybody. It’s for the best.”

—

(In the house.)

Yingzi: “Achoo!”

Stranger: “Ying…”

(At fish.) “Oh.”

Yingzi: “Ok la. You don’t have to stare at me like that, with that silly look. Last fish on the plate, you eat it.”

(Bowl and chopsticks fall and break.)

(Yingzi holds out her hand to the stranger as she’s taken away.)

—

Stranger: “I’ve never understood. Being a mere puppet to be used like me, what’s the point of living at all?”

“Maybe the meaning of my life is to do battle and kill enemies. But then what’s the meaning of fighting?”

“I remember now. The meaning of having to fight is to protect the people that I want to protect.”

“It was like that in the past…it will be like that in the future.”

(Yingzi is tied as a human sacrifice to a post.)

Stranger: “Yingzi…”

“Don’t be afraid. I will protect you. Just like before — like the people of Chen Tang Guan.”

(Chen Tang Guan is the ‘stranger’s’ hometown, a great city. The golden bracelet he wears on his wrist enlarges into the Universe Ring 乾坤圈.)

—

Chapter 17

This chapter is left to right.

Priestess: “Are you…you’re really the Marshal of the Central Alter, great god…”

“Th…Third Prince, Nezha.”

(Nezha breaks the bonds, freeing Yingzi.)

Civilians: “The Great God has descended! Help us!”

“Great God, please save us!”

(Nezha looks down on them with disdain.)

Civilians: “AH….”

“Save me please!”

Yingzi: “No…no.”

Yingzi, clutching onto Nezha: “Help them. I’m begging you, please help them!”

“They were forced to do this.”

Nezha: “You mortal humans’ weakness and smallness is not an excuse to do evil.”

“No…”

(He summons the Fire-tipped Spear 火尖槍)

“Humans are just like this…”

“Gods. Humans. Demons. They all have their own code and ways to follow. If you do something wrong, then you have to pay the price.”

“Demons are so…”

(Nezha takes down the sea monster with his spear in a flash of gold.)

“And Gods and deities are so…”

(Nezha’s silhouette.)

“Now that I’ve shown my true form, I’ve got nowhere left to hide.”

(Gold lightning crashes from heaven.)

“Anyhow, I’ve committed many sins. Doesn’t matter if I add one more to the lot.”

(The golden pagoda, recognisable as Nezha’s father’s prison. It is used especially to subdue Nezha. The pagoda falls to imprison him.)

“At least I could protect those that I felt like protecting.”

(Nezha, holding hands with Yingzi.)

“At least I truly lived my life as my own for once…”

“The fish you cooked was really delicious…if there was…”

“...a next time…”

“.……”

End.

Author Notes: Third Prince’s story was supposed to end here. But then everybody seemed to be so glum~~~~

Translator Notes: I heavily suspect that because the author gave Sun Wukong that awesome big billowy red cape (like the movie) he couldn’t give Nezha his Red Armillary Sash 浑天绫 because it’ll look too similar hahahahahahahahhahaa!

—

(More Translator notes, can skip: The story of Nezha is pretty well known and readers would be able to guess his identity from the hints given in the first chapters.

(An important part of Nezha mythology is the ‘Havoc in the Eastern Sea.’ The people of Chan Tang Guan begged the Eastern Dragon King for rain and depending on the version, the King either snatches children to eat or the people put out human sacrifices, etc. After one of Nezha’s friends were taken, he goes to upheave the sea kingdom and cause trouble for the King. Nezha gets into a fight with the King’s third son. Nezha is, like, 7 years old when he murders the King’s third son, prompting a huge siege over Chen Tang Guan by the King and his dragon brothers in revenge. They create devastating tsunamis, typhoons and floods.)

(Nezha’s father Li Jing thinks that Nezha has shamed the family and doomed Chen Tang Guan. To save his people, and in the ultimate show of filial piety, young Nezha takes his father’s sword and commits suicide. Li Jing burns down Nezha’s temple that was created after his death, saying that he’d been nothing but trouble for the family.)

(Nezha is then bought back to life by his teacher, Taiyi Zhenren, from the roots and essence of a lotus flower. He becomes a deity after rebirth, becoming the ‘Third Lotus Prince.’ Li Jing and Nezha then have a terrible relationship and have many fights. Because Nezha was more powerful than Li Jin, the gods give him a magical golden pagoda than can grow and shrink — created to subdue Nezha.)

(Nezha is always depicted as a young child with two hair buns, but in this comic he looks much older. The images of Nezha in the rain on the sea, as well as the tattoos of the lotus on his back, evoke his past.)

—

Chapter 18

(The title page shows Nezha’s Universe Ring and a lotus.)

(People are praying in a temple.)

(Yingzi has been praying to/for Nezha.) (Read left to right, up down.)

“Excuse me, Madam.”

Young Jiang Liu’er: “Please, Madam, stop just a for a moment.”

Yingzi: “What’s the matter, Young Master?”

Young Jiang Liu’er: “Forgive my forwardness…”

Yingzi: “This…”

Young Jiang Liu’er: “The bracelet you wear on your wrist, may I ask where it comes from?”

“Madam, please don’t misunderstand. It’s just that your bracelet is much like something that an old friend of mine has. It reminded me of them, so I asked.…”

Yingzi: “Young Master. This bracelet is also my good friend’s. Once he comes back, I’ll like to return it to him…”

Young Jiang Liu’er: “No matter. It was this monk that misjudged. Sorry for the trouble. Sanzai (‘there is good’).”

“Farewell.”

(Young Jiang Liu’er’s eyes glow fiery gold.)

Young Jiang Liu’er: “Looks like our dear friend is the same person ay…”

“Just that this one parting ended up being five hundred years…”

—

Chapter 19

(Sun Wukong in armour with his feather crown, perched on a rock looking up at Heaven’s gate.)

(Clear skies and boats peacefully out at sea.)

Head fisherman/ Grandad: “Yingzi, recently you’ve been running to that temple non-stop…”

“The bloke is a heavenly deity, are you still thinking he’s going to come back?”

Yingzi: “Alright, Grandad, stop talking about it…”

(Yingzi looks out, seagulls fluttering away above, seeing something.)

Yingzi: “Is that…”

Yingzi, after something descended onto her boat lightning fast: “Why is it…you, Young…Young Monk?”

Sun Wukong, in the form of young Jiang Liu’er: “Madam, we meet again.”

“This one here is that old friend of mine I was talking about. But right now I have some errands to run. I’ve got to leave some trouble in your hands…”

Yingzi: “Ah…okay…”

—

(Eyes open.)

Yingzi: “You’re awake.”

Nezha: “Yingzi…”

“How could this…”

Yingzi: “Don’t move. I’ll tell you, it all went like this….”

(She tells him what happened.)

Nezha: “…A monk…”

Yingzi: “Before he left he told me to give you this…”

(She holds out the pagoda, the only thing that can imprison Nezha.)

“He said he was borrowing it from someone. And that ‘you can give it back when you feel like giving it back.’”

Nezha: “….”

Yingzi: “That friend of yours — is he a really strong god…? How did you guys meet?”

Nezha: “He…is very powerful. But he’s not really a god or deity. Us two fought a match back in the day, five hundred years ago.”

In Heaven -

Li Jing, Nezha’s Father: “Oh Jade Emperor! That demon monkey stole my seven-jewelled pagoda!”

“And…and beat me up in the process, you must—”

Jade Emperor: “What! That demon monkey came up here?! Where is he now?”

Li Jing: “After he hurt me…he…he just left.”

Jade Emperor: “Oh, so it’s like that…Then that’s good. That’s good.”

End.

Author notes: So I drew a sequel. Got to put some stress on Sir Li Jing and the Emperor la.

Translator notes, can skip: (Tbh I can’t read what the extra bit is, sorry. It’s congratulating someone on something.) Five hundred years ago when Sun Wukong was wrecking havoc in heaven, Nezha was a marshal sent down with the army to apprehend him. In the book, Nezha fought Sun Wukong one-on-one and lost.

In the 1999 journey to the west tv show and 05 lotus lantern they added an incredible addition where Nezha and Sun Wukong fight but they bond over each other’s skills and their mutual making-fun of the Eastern Dragon King, whom they both dislike. Sun Wukong invites Nezha back to his mountain to enjoy a hearty meal and they stop mid-fight to do just that. Then Nezha waves goodbye and runs back to Li Jing and the army at the end of the day after the hang-out, looking fake-disheveled, pretending to have suffered a defeat. They tell no one of this and no one ever knows. (I really really like this addition hehehee.)

[alkaria]

Nero’s SU S3 Rewrite

Hello! I got bored and procrastinated this yesterday. I was watching a few AMVs and it struck me how S3, narratively, is worse than S2. If you consider the S1 structure, with the Birthday arc as the mid-season finale, Malachite/the Cluster as the hype for the second half of the season, it should really be filler in the middle and then all the high-impact eps at the end. So I rejigged it a little. Details under the cut since it’s quite long (I got carried away)

Okay, so this assumes most of the S3 first half proceeds as normal, aside from Barn Mates (4), where Steven actually calls Lapis out on being a dick to Peridot, and Lapis explains that she’d really prefer to be alone to deal with her conflicts – but that she’ll put up with Peridot if she’s allowed to do it at her own pace. This is just to try and make the Peridot/Lapis relationship evolution more natural.

Greg the Babysitter (16) gets moved before Monster Reunion (14) and Alone at Sea to keep plot-based episodes all in the latter half of the season and keep the Jasper arc more intact.

Alone at Sea (15): Jasper and Lapis’ conversation goes differently entirely. Jasper doesn’t plead. She instead challenges Lapis, and when Steven tries to intervene, she traps him in a bubble.

J: “You could have beaten me fair and square, Lazuli. But you fused with me. You tricked me. Why?” L: “I spent five thousand years trapped by the Crystal Gems, and then you go and lock me up again! For once, I wanted to be the one in control.” Jasper accepts Lapis’ arguments but turns away. She reaches the edge of the boat. J:  “You’ll regret this. We could have been something, Lapis. This is your last chance. Fuse with me. Be Malachite again and destroy Rose Quartz. You’ll go back to Homeworld a hero.” L: “That’s not Rose any more, Jasper. I won’t hurt Steven. I’m – I can be happy here. I will be.” Jasper pops the bubble and Steven falls to the floor. J:  “You picked your side. Her side. No more chances.” Jasper glares at Steven before jumping back into the ocean. The ship does not sink. The idea with Alone at Sea was to give us a bit more understanding and development of Lapis through her discussing with Jasper why she tricked her - and goes some way to remove the weird metaphors/interpretation of Jasper wanting to be Malachite again, because whatever the intention, I don’t think the Malachite as Bad Relationship thing worked well.

This puts Alone at Sea right before Jasper’s next appearance in Gem Hunt (17). This is unchanged.

Crack the Whip (18): Amethyst is poofed and Stevonnie briefly holds their own against Jasper, but after the Quartz monster is poofed and Amethyst reforms, Jasper does a spin-dash, knocking Stevonnie off-balance and causing them to unfuse.

Steven crawls over to Connie. Both are in pain. S: “Connie, are you alright?” C: “I’m – I’m fine.” J:  “Even your fusions are defective, Rose! This is it.” Jasper charges for Steven and Connie – and is blocked by Garnet and Pearl, because future vision is a thing. J:  “You’re so weak that you can’t even fight your own battles, Rose? Hah!” Jasper does an anime laugh. “I have my own army now, and it’s coming for you. Jaspers always get what we want.” What Crack the Whip does here is still maintains the catalyst for Amethyst’s self-worth arc, but normalises Stevonnie’s power level relative to Pearl and Garnet - instead, Amethyst sees that Stevonnie, Garnet and Pearl don’t need her at all. Steven vs Amethyst (19): This proceeds much the same, but Pearl and Garnet arrive earlier and break up the fight, having picked up on Steven and Amethyst’s feelings. Since the fight is destructive and doesn’t actually accomplish much, it’s better for it to give way to a conversation that actually helps progress both Amethyst and Steven’s self-worth arcs. We cut to the ‘I’m not Rose Quartz’ pretty fast here too, since most of the focus is on Amethyst. P: “Amethyst, I had no idea you were feeling this way. I’m sorry we haven’t been there for you.” A: “Rose said there was nothing wrong with me, but there is. I can’t beat Jasper.” G:  “You aren’t supposed to be like Jasper, Amethyst. You’re supposed to be you. You have your own strengths and weaknesses that are different to Jasper’s. If you try to fight like her, you’ll never win, because her fighting style utilises her strengths rather than yours.” A: “My strengths?” P:  “You’re smaller and faster than her. Your whip lets you use terrain to your advantage rather than hers. Here, let me show you.” Pearl smiles and begins to demonstrate technique to Amethyst, who actually looks enthusiastic about training for once.

Bismuth (20/21): Most of Bismuth proceeds as normal, but it’s still oddly standalone compared to the on-going Jasper arc - it does need some of this, but Jasper is mentioned as part of the conversations early on about Homeworld still being after the CG’s, and when Bismuth gives the gems their weapon upgrades and trains them. Having the Steven-Bismuth confrontation without any input from the other gems robs this episode of a lot of potential emotion, especially from Garnet and Pearl, as comrades of Rose and Bismuth who had no idea what actually happened. For that reason, Steven bubbles himself and Bismuth and transports them back to the Temple fairly early into the fight. Bismuth is stunned by the Bubble Room.

B:  “Look at this! Look at all these gems! I could have saved them Rose, but you stopped me!” Bismuth attacks, but is blocked by Garnet, because future vision is again a thing. G: “Bismuth. That isn’t Rose. It’s Steven. And we couldn’t save any of these gems – the power of the Diamonds was unsurpassable. None of these gems can even hold a stable form anymore.” B: “I could have tried! What happened to you? You used to love fighting! You were Rose’s general! Her eyes and ears! We could have taken the fight to the Diamonds – why are you such a coward now?!” Bismuth turns her anger on Garnet, attacking several times. Garnet deflects her fairly easily. G: “I’ve spent five thousand years clearing up the wreckage of the Rebellion. I’ve spent five thousand years having to put my comrades in bubbles, wondering if we’d ever find them all, trying to be strong for Amethyst and Pearl and Rose and now Steven. I don’t want to fight anymore, Bismuth! I want to rest! I want to enjoy the freedom we have, because I don’t know when it’s going to be taken away.” B: “I thought you were my friend, Garnet. Why are you turning your back on the Rebellion, on the Crystal Gems – on me?” G: “Because sometimes, I have to put myself – first!” Garnet punches Bismuth into the wall. Amethyst and Pearl run in due to the sounds of combat. B: “Pearl, you have to talk some sense into Garnet. She can’t give up on the Rebellion - the Diamonds are out there, we can do something.” P: “Bismuth... We can’t. We have no way of getting to Homeworld, and even if we did - we lost. The Diamonds won, even after we...” Pearl trails off as Bismuth roars in anger, brandishing the Breaking Point at Garnet - until it is caught by Amethyst’s whip and thrown into the room’s lava pool. Bismuth ends up impaled on Rose’s sword, having run into it in her attempt to attack Garnet. Bismuth chuckles and begins to cry. B: “You’re all just the same. Rose bubbled me and hid me away when I could have saved everyone - and none of you even care!” G: “Bismuth... I’m sorry, but it’s too late now. There was nothing we could do. And there’s nothing we can do now. S: “Bismuth, I wish this hadn’t happened to you.” B: “Thanks, Steven.” Bismuth smiles weakly, and then poofs.

This is the first long rewrite, really, and I hope it shows. I tried to add some more character to Garnet and explain who she is and who she’s become since the Rebellion, while actually having all the gems present to add to the emotional impact of them all discovering this about Bismuth at once. Amethyst’s role in combat hopefully helps show her growing confidence in herself since the last few episodes, helping keep her arc moving. Pearl makes a hint towards Pink Diamond for the dedicated fans.

At this point, we hit the lead-up to the end of the season, and I tear it all to pieces. Beta and Earthlings remain, but Back to the Moon and Bubbled are moved to instead be the high-impact start to Season 4 (because wtf was Kindergarten Kid) and replaced by an entirely new two-parter that is an actual season finale that caps off the Jasper arc in a more climactic way - Armies and Unbubbled.

Beta (22): This tries to unpack some more of the events of Bismuth from Steven and Amethyst’s perspectives. The last few minutes (everything after they arrive at the Beta Kindergarten) is moved into Earthlings, allowing time for more focus on the Barn - and more development.

A: “I don’t know. I’m gonna miss Bismuth. She didn’t mind that I was short.” S: “I don’t mind that you’re short.” J: “Yeah, but Jasper does. I won’t feel okay until I beat Jasper. It’s like I have to prove myself.” Steven and Amethyst arrive at the Barn to find Lapis (aided by water constructs) in a high-stakes duel with Peridot (in her robot). A: “Hey, they’re fighting too!” S: “Oh no...” Despite the fight, Lapis and Peridot look to be enjoying themselves. They both stop when they see their guests. L: “Steven!” P: “Amethyst!” A: “Wow, you two must hate each other. That was intense.” Amethyst gushes. L: “Uh... No. We were just letting off steam.” P: “Amethyst, come look at what I’ve done to my robot. I even integrated Steven’s ‘Tablet’ into the data-processing system!” A: “Uh, okay, P-Dot..” S: “So, you and Peridot seem to be getting along well...” L: “Uh, yeah... Today.” S: “Is something wrong? Do you need more space?” L: “No, no. Nothing’s wrong with Peridot.” Lapis sighs. “Sometimes I have a good day and sometimes I have a bad day. Watching Camp Pining Hearts helps. Let me show you the TV!” Lapis flies Steven up to the truck, only for Peridot to climb up and grab Steven. P: “It’s my turn with Steven, Lazuli! I want to show him my Meepmorps. You can have Amethyst.” L: “Uh.” A: “’Sup.” Peridot takes Steven into the main room of the barn, where most of her one-gem metal band is attached to the wall. P: “I’ve been practising my metal powers. My robot works so much better now - it’s like having the manoeuvrability of my limb enhancers back! Well, almost. Those were leagues ahead of it. But sometimes it feels closer, which is nice. Anyway, let me demonstrate!” Peridot pulls all the instruments down at once. S: “Wow, that’s really powerful.” P: “Thanks!” L: “I’m not sure that’s how these things work, Peridot.” Lapis picks up a tambourine and shakes it. A: “Look, this is some great trash and all, but I want to get back to training. Jasper could re-appear any day now!” Lapis freezes. P: “Uh, Amethyst, Lapis doesn’t really like it when you mention-” L: “No, it’s fine Peridot. Today... Is a good day.” Lapis gives a forced smile. S: “Sorry, Lapis. It’s just, Jasper keeps giving us trouble. When she spoke to you on the ship, it was just the start.” L: “I’m sorry, Steven. Jasper would never have caused you trouble if it wasn’t for me. I’ve been so selfish.” Amethyst wanders over to Lapis. A: “Hey, what matters is you’re here and you’re trying to be better, like the rest of us. Sorry for bringing it up.” Lapis smiles in response - a small smile, but genuine. S: “We should get back. We still don’t know where Jasper is or what she’s planning - we don’t even know any of her weaknesses.” P: “Well, if you wanted to learn about Jasper why didn’t you ask? Her Kindergarten’s just a warp away, and I’m a certified Kindergartener!” From here, the episode proceeds as normal and ends as Peridot, Steven and Amethyst arrive at the Beta Kindergarten.

What this episode tries to do is tie the Bismuth subplot into Amethyst and Steven’s perception of themselves and Jasper. Also, it adds some much-needed Lapis development instead of just meepmorps - it shows she’s adjusting to Earth, and she and Peridot do get along, but it’s not a constant uphill journey. Also, Lapis and Amethyst have a conversation!

Earthlings (23): The part of Beta set in the Kindergarten takes place here. Because of the training and the progress over the arc, Amethyst lasts longer against Jasper than she did in Crack the Whip. To better reflect Jasper’s power level, Smoky fuses but only manages to draw even with Jasper.

SQ: “Why won’t you leave us alone?” J: “Leave you alone? After everything you did to me? To my planet? To my diamond? I’ve been fighting since I broke out of the Earth’s crust and because of Rose Quartz, no one’s ever thought I was good enough! I’ll prove I’m good enough. I’ll bring you all back to Homeworld myself and go down in history, just as soon as my escort gets here. I’ve had enough of these skirmishes, Rose. It’s time for me to end this.” Jasper does a spin dash and materialises behind Smoky, using the same techniques as Rose Quartz in The Answer to defuse Smoky. As Jasper advances on Amethyst and Steven, Peridot uses her metal powers to pull down the injector, separating them. Realising that they can’t beat her, the three Crystal Gems retreat. J: “You’re on borrowed time, Rose! My army is almost ready!”

This ties in some of Jasper’s discussion from the episode, but also adds in more of her motivations. The Amethyst arc is mostly satisfied by the fact that Amethyst performs better relative to Smoky, while Peridot’s metal powers are more developed and less of a joke (Peridot makes enough jokes). There’s a hint towards the Rubies, as Jasper doesn’t know about Hit the Diamond. Instead of ending the Jasper arc here, this builds up her and her army of monsters as more of a threat, leading into...

Armies (24):

Peridot, Amethyst and Steven arrive back at the Temple to find Connie and Pearl about to go for training.

S: “Pearl!” Pl: “Ah, Steven, you’re just in time! We’re going to be working on team attacks today-” Pd: “There’s no time for that! Jasper’s going to attack with her Beta Kindergarten monster army!” Pl: “Jasper - monster army - beta kin - GARNET!” Pearl splutters. Garnet walks inside, already aware.  G: “We don’t have much time. Going to the Beta Kindergarten means that Jasper knows we’ll attack her if she waits. Her plans have been set in motion. Peridot, I need you to fetch Lapis and your robot. Pearl, Amethyst, I need you to go and make defences. We need to keep the monsters on the beach.”

Everyone agrees without complaint. Peridot warps out, while Pearl begins creating barricades from sand and Amethyst from trash.

C: “Garnet, is she really going to attack?” G: “She has no other option now. If she waits, we’ll attack her only safe location. And Jasper has no other reason for collecting these monsters than to attack us. But she can’t control more than a few monsters for very long. They’re going to run rampant, and if they get past the beach-” C: “Beach City!” G: “Exactly. Connie, I need you and Lion to go into the city. Make sure everyone stays inside. You’re a Crystal Gem now. Are you ready to help?” C: “I won’t let you down.” Garnet hugs Connie.  G: “I know. Remember to call if you’re in trouble.” Connie climbs aboard Lion and leaves. Lapis warps into the temple.

L: “Steven, what’s going on?” S: “Lapis, we need your help. Jasper’s going to attack us.” L: “Steven, I don’t even want to think about Jasper, let alone fight her.” S: “I know. But she’s not going to go away. She’s always going to be here and she’s going to keep coming after us until we do something. We have to put up a fight if we want to be free. We can’t change the past, but - maybe we can be happy, in the future. We need you, Lapis.” Lapis looks conflicted. L: “Fine. But first I want an apology.” Lapis looks at Garnet. “You kept me imprisoned - in a Pearl’s head! - for years. You still haven’t even spoken to me since you tried to take me away from Steven!” G: “I... I was scared.” Garnet removes her visor. “I was scared of what letting you out would mean for us, for Steven, for me. We had no idea what you would do. But it doesn’t excuse what we did. I’m sorry, Lapis. We all are.” L: “Thank you.”

Pearl and Amethyst run in. Pl: “Garnet, the ocean!” A: “She’s coming!” Everyone runs outside. The beach looks markedly different, with most of it blocked off by walls of sand (and trash). Peridot stands, robot-ready, as Jasper emerges from the ocean, alone. J: “This is it, Rose. Your army versus mine.” A: “What army? You’re outnumbered.” J: “You know, runt, you’re right.” Jasper slowly approaches the group. “I realised when we fought on the beach that I couldn’t get enough of these gems to beat you. But then I realised where I could find a lot of them.” G: “No!”

Jasper spin-dashes up the wall and bounces off, soaring past the others and straight into the Temple. G: “She’s going after the bubbled gems!” Pl: “The monsters! They’re here!” G: “Pearl, you’re in charge - take care of these monsters! Steven, with me!”

As the other gems take battle positions, Steven and Garnet run back into the house. Jasper has smashed straight through the screen door and into the Burning Room. As Garnet and Steven arrive, Jasper pops the first bubble. J: “Oops.”

The episode ends here. What Armies tries to do is actually ramp up the tension of the Jasper arc, rather than ending it and shoving in two unrelated episodes to be the finale. Instead of the tension being a Homeworld invasion, Jasper’s army is actually being a threat - not just to the CGs but to Beach City, adding tension because we’re worried about the human population too. Plus, with Jasper breaking into the Bubble Room, it risks undoing most of the progress the Crystal Gems have made in clearing up the monster population, adding new stakes and making the old monster subplot relevant as well.

Unbubbled (25/26): The episode opens in the Burning Room, where we left off. Jasper dashes from bubble to bubble, popping them all, while Steven and Garnet are overrun by the swarms of newly-freed monsters. 

We cut to the outside of the Temple. Opal is firing arrows from the Lighthouse and yelling commands at Lapis and Peridot, who are holding the line against the monsters coming from the ocean. Connie, on Lion, is chasing monsters up and down the Boardwalk. Lars and Sadie are barricaded in the Big Donut, trying to prevent a gem mutant from knocking the door down. We return to the temple’s entrance to see almost every monster from past episodes swarming out (Centipeetle is absent, of course). Jasper follows.

J: “Here’s my army, Rose! So kind of you to keep it in one place for me.” Lapis turns and throws a tidal wave at Jasper, but she weathers it and runs off. Back in the Burning Room, Steven and Garnet are alone, holding the final unpopped bubble - Bismuth’s. S: “Are you sure we can trust her?” G: “Yes. There’s too much at stake - Beach City is in danger. Bismuth always protected the weak.” Steven pops the bubble, and Bismuth reforms. She looks around. B: “What - Garnet, Steven - Where are the bubbles?” Garnet hands Bismuth an axe. G: “There’s no time. We’re under attack and we need your help.” Bismuth looks from Steven to Garnet and nods. B: “Lead the way.”

The three emerge onto the beach, where Lapis, Peridot and Opal have rounded up most of the ocean monsters - but the temple monsters have spread out across town. Together, they groups move to the Boardwalk, rendezvousing with Connie and Lion and freeing the Pizza and Fryman families. Opal defuses and Pearl runs to hug Connie.

P: “You’ve done so well, Connie! I couldn’t have asked for more.” C: “Aw, shukriyaa.” B: “I’ve never seen a human fight with a sword so well. It’s like Rose’s sword was made for you.” Bismuth is awed by Connie. This is followed by a quick montage of the gang freeing Lars and Sadie, Mr Smiley, and other townies who you all know and love. 

Eventually, we arrive at the water tower. Jasper, along with her army, is attacking it, trying to cause it to fall. A: “Hey!” Pl: “The humans need that tower for their sustenance! Unhand it!” Jasper turns to look at them. She is angrier than earlier, and her cool facade seems to be slipping. J: “I’m going to destroy this settlement like you ruined my colony, Rose. Like you destroyed my Kindergarten!”

Jasper charges at Steven, and he forms his shield, resisting her. The monsters set upon the other gems, distracting them, until Connie whistles loudly. Lion roars, and following him come the charging townies, roaring and armed with various brooms and pitchforks. The Cool Kids are in the front. With the townie backup, the monsters are now outnumbered, and the Gems are able to turn their focus back to Jasper.

Jasper summons her helmet and charges at Steven, but he knocks her back with his shield into Peridot’s robot. She fires rockets, throwing Jasper back into Amethyst, who entangles her with her whip and tosses her to Pearl, who fires a lazer from her spear, stunning Jasper and causing her to spin-dash wildly, only to be thrown by Garnet into Bismuth, who headbutts her, setting her on course with Lapis, who forms an ice ramp which throws Jasper into the air until she lands in front of Connie, who pokes her with the butt of Rose’s sword.

It is quite clear that Jasper is beaten, but she struggles to her feet anyway. S: “Why can’t you accept that I’m not Rose? Why won’t you leave us alone?” J: “Me? You started this - you rebelled and lied to gems, told them they could be whatever they wanted! I’m the best of the best and I’m a laughing stock on Homeworld because of you! Everyone thinks I’m defective too. I’ll show them - I’ll show them your gem shards!” Jasper dashes at Steven, but he leaps over with his floating powers. S: “I’m sorry for what happened to you Jasper, but what the Diamonds are doing is wrong! Turning this place into a colony would have killed everything on this planet! Humans deserve to choose - gems deserve to choose - but the diamonds shatter anyone who disagrees!” “You - hypocrite! How dare you say that after you shattered your diamond - my diamond - Pink Diamond!”

Everything seems to slow down. Steven stops. Pearl and Garnet both look horrified. S: “Rose - she - Mom wouldn’t do that, right? Pearl? Garnet? Why won’t you look at me? She didn’t shatter her, right?!” B: “Rose shattered Pink Diamond... and we still lost? The Diamonds are that powerful?”

Jasper looks confused as everyone else. J: “You... You aren’t Rose... She never told you?” Jasper falls to the floor, her form beginning to corrupt as the truth sinks in. J: “It’s too late.. I’m not going to go back... With her shards... They were right... I’m... a failure. Worthless. Everything on this planet is worthless.” A: “It doesn’t have to be that way, Jasper. You don’t have to listen to them. I’m happy here. I’m not a perfect quartz, but there’s still good things here. You can be happy too, you can-” J: “LIAR!” Jasper slashes at Amethyst, but misses. She begins to laugh. J: “I see how Rose did it now... She waited until you had nothing left... Because when you feel worthless, you’ll accept anyone... who makes you feel like less of a failure.” Jasper corrupts fully, and roars at the Gems. As the perfect quartz, she is much larger than the other corrupted quartzes - but she is nevertheless crushed as the water tower falls on her. She poofs. A: “C’mere, sis.” Amethyst bubbles Jasper.

Steven turns to face Pearl and Garnet. The townspeople are in the back, jubilant. Mayor Dewey’s van is on fire and he is desperately trying to throw water from the water tower onto it. The fire lends some epic lighting. S: “What else about my mom haven’t you told me?”

The episode ends on this. Hopefully, this episode adds enough tension to the battle - Beach City is actually at stake, rather than the Gems themselves - and it hopefully adds a lot to Jasper’s character. The Pink Diamond reveal is not split into two episodes but is kept here, in order to add more impact for Steven and to fully illustrate Jasper’s motivation as the gem who brought this army to avenge her Diamond - and failed, because the foe she sought was never there in teh first place, adding more reason for her corruption to happen naturally (no weird forced fusiion thanks).

Hopefully, this episode also adds development to Bismuth’s conceptualisation of the Diamonds and her desire to overthrow them. Garnet gets to show off some leadership, there’s a nice group fight scene which shows how the Crystal Gems have grown, and the role of the Townies helps make them relevant and show the growing ties between Gems and Humans. This also leaves S4 to develop the new ties between Lapis/Peridot and Beach city further, develop Bismuth now that she’s not in a bubble forever, and provides some of the impetus for Steven to hopefully stop imitating his mother and be his own gem-human. Also, Connie says something in Hindi to Pearl, who she’s starting to see as more of a mother figure (it’s intended to be an informal thanks - if there’s something better I can put in, let me know, but this is just something I found from 2 minutes of googling - because it’s that easy).

One thing I’ve thought that would be interesting for Season 4 would be to see some format changes - and this episode would feature the first, as we leave Steven’s perspective at the start of the episode, for a more epic feel. It’d be interesting if we saw the Crystal Gems split up because of these revelations after the Rubies 2-parter - Pearl/Garnet at the Temple, Connie and Steven travelling and training with Bismuth and Greg, and Amethyst staying with Peridot and Lapis at the Barn. The PD revelations were big, and I really feel like they should have had more of an immediate impact on the plot. S4′s filler could have easily been based around Steven sleeping over at every family’s house in Beach city since he wants time away from Garnet and Pearl. But that’s a story for another post I suppose...

Please give feedback - this became way longer than I expected but it’s really helped me express what I found narratively dissatisfying about how Season 3 was handled. Hopefully this was a good read and inspires some other people :)