#I just. I’ve been thinking about apotheosis man

[zeb-z]

Thinking about how Apotheosis starts by showing a world that’s already grim - dark fantasy with wealth inequality and bored or absent gods - and it only gets worse, following a band of god slayers who start more like villains than anything. A world without sun, without justice. But still the core of its message is that there is still hope, even if you have to make it and care for it yourself. That there cannot be joy or love without the contrast of misery and loss, and that even a world slighted by the gods has worth because of the people that inhabit it. It’s dark with people and gods alike who hurt others for no reason other than to serve their own purpose, or worse just out of boredom - but there’s people who help others, too, for no other reason than for the act of kindness itself. No thought behind it, simply compassion. It feels doomed from start to finish, yet somehow we still get a happy ending - a world that’s lost everything only has everything to gain, and because there is great suffering this means the brighter times are that much more meaningful. It’s like in Lord of the Rings - there will be hope and love in spite of it all, and it’s the small things that end up making the biggest difference. It’s very “there’s still good in this world, Mr. Frodo - and it’s worth fighting for”

[warnerswilsons]

Assigning the YDKJ hosts my favorite Starkid musicals.

Starting off, I’m assigning Nate The Trail to Oregon. I feel like many of the hosts have the same energy as the Father, but Nate just sticks out to me, probably partly due to being the original host. I can see him liking the opening number especially, and I think the fact that the audience gets to choose the characters’ names like in the original game definitely played into why I chose this show. (Also I kind of want to make an au now-. That sure would be fun)

The show I assigned to Buzz was also pretty easy to decide on. I feel like he’d be a fan of Twisted. Based on his reputation, and how he was treated during The Ride, I think he’d connect with that version of Ja’far. On top of that, I think he’d really like the title number of the show, as well as the many references throughout it overall.

Cookie’s getting The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals. The musical alien hivemind that keeps expanding in the show does seem like it would be familiar to him. Like, this one is less so about favorite musicals, and more about experiences, and Binjpipe’s role in Full Stream reminded me of the Apotheosis when thinking about this. So, I guess that would make Cookie fill Paul’s role?

Schmitty’s getting Holy Musical B@man. It’s been a few years since I watched the proshot, but from what I remember of the plot, and after rereading the synopsis, it feels very fitting. Batman’s quest to find a friend on top of the clever jokes and portrayals of the villains and various supporting characters also played into this decision. Also, revisiting the plot made me think of Schmitty and Cookie filling Batman and Superman’s dynamic in the show, but that’s for another time.

Guy’s was probably the hardest for me to choose. I’ve been going back and forth between Starship and Nerdy Prudes Must Die, but I think I’m going to go with the former. I just think he’d like the plot and the characters, and the songs are just a lot of fun to listen to. I don’t have much else to say, because like Holy Musical B@man, it has been a while since I’ve listened to the Starship soundtrack.

And I guess that’s it! I enjoy making posts like this, so maybe there will be more to come!

[rifleseye]

The Nova Cronan Courtroom is as empty as it usually is. Most governors don't take their jobs very seriously unless it's to help themselves. At least, that's what Perceptor's been able to gather. He watches as each governor files out, some sooner than others, and he sighs to himself. Originally, he was going to try and use this time to try and push for more infrastructure funds. 

There are those in the Praetorian Heights, of which he is sworn to care for, that suffer. He is not so naive that he misses the wealth distribution discrepancies. People are starving.

He hears a group of governors discussing going to some recent upscale energon depot and burns at the thought.

He sighs to himself and collects his things, holding his dataslate under his arm as he cleans his area. Just a little less work for whoever has to clean up after them. He scans the crowd, trying to spot The Judge.

It should be able to help. The Judge would be able to take his plight to the Senator.

Ah! There it is. Perceptor cuts through the crowd, trying to get The Judge’s attention, “Judge! Ah- excuse me, sorry- Judge!”

The Judge looks up and cringes to itself,  but makes no move to leave as he approaches.

Once he’s finally within range, he exvents a sigh of relief, “Thank Adaptus. I have an inquiry for you. Or, a request, really.”

Perceptor holds out the datapad he held beneath his arm for The Judge to take. It takes it and flicks through it at speeds he could only dream of.

“Don’t you think you could be using your time better?” The Judge says as it holds out his datapad.

“This is important! My proposal would allow for Energon allowances for the—”

“We are well aware of what was in your proposal. Must We say it explicitly? Your request is denied.”

“But-”

“Our patrons won’t spend that kind of money on those who do not contribute progress to Our great polity. If they were truly worth something then they would be among Our hard working middle class.”

“All due respect, our middle class is on the brink of collapse. If we distributed—”

The Judge shoots Perceptor a glare, and suddenly he finds he cannot finish his sentence. The room grows tense, the air thick with an unspoken anger.

Perceptor takes the slate and holds it to his chest, looking down, thoroughly chastised.

“We hope you consider the privilege you have been given, Governor Perceptor,” the way it says Governor sounds like a knife, “how on Cybertron you managed is still beyond Us…”

“Yes, Judge. Apologies. I will take my leave now.”

He doesn’t have to look back to know It’s watching him.

———————————————————

Perceptor worries his lip as he peruses Dynamo’s gallery. “I have a new commission for you.”

Dynamo looks up, a weary grin at his lips, “Shall we discuss details in my office?”

“Yes, please,” he glances back, staring at the open glass paneling, at the people walking by. He sees the false light post that’s been following him. Do they really think him so dull? And to spy so blatantly… 

They walk into Dynamo’s office together, and Perceptor stares at the painted wall.

“So. What did you have in mind?”

“I have been considering the word Apotheosis, recently.” Code. [I’ve been considering the rebellion.]

“Deification? I would think a man of science like you wouldn’t be thinking of such things.” [I thought you made it thoroughly clear you wouldn’t deal in this.]

“They recently took down a statue of Adaptus. I was considering the historical significance of such an act.” [Something’s come up. I was thinking about what I can do.]

“Is that what you want, then?” [You’re really in?]

“Oh yes. I believe it would add some… what was the word my colleagues recently used? Character to my rather drab life.” [I am all in. What do you need of me?]

“We’ll talk about your patronage check next week once I’ve figured out the logistics.” [We’ll talk in a week about funding for my group.]

“Good, I do hope you make it as beautiful as these other paintings.” [Make it count, and make it hurt.]

[magpigment]

hello! welcome!

hi hello! my name is dandy, he/him, and this is my art blog!

i mostly post fanart with some occasional oc art, and i’m hella hyperfixated on just roll with it stuff right now so that’s mostly what i’ve been and i’ll be posting.

i also occasionally post funny text posts/analysis for different things!

my main tags are:

for my drawings - #my art

for posts or art that have blood- #blood cw

for bright colors or eye strain - #bright colors cw

my talking/theory/ramble posts - #dandy talks

my reblogs for others art/ posts - #dandy reblogs

my reblogs for my art - #reblog because why not

my live-blogging tag: #dandy blogg

my writing tag: #dandy writes

my music recommendation tag: #dandy music

my ao3 is magfigment, and while i don’t post often i’ve been trying to update my fics on there more lately and am writing some new stuff, so check it out if you want!

also! i have a spotify account also called magpigment where i have character playlists! mostly just JRWI right now, but i’ll add more eventually!

link: https://open.spotify.com/user/31yrfnpxmc25whl5ndpimytvnjzy

requests will always be open unless i say otherwise, so if you want me to draw something for a fandom that i’ve posted art for before just send me an ask with a character and i’ll do my best!

things i am ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS welcome to talk about: pretty much anything about the band mother mother, any of charlie slimecicles characters he’s played, any of martyn inthelittlewoods characters he’s played, psychological horror games/series/the entire genre as a whole, legend of zelda (minus botw and totk cuz i have not played them and probably never will), just roll with it: riptide, blood in the bayou, apotheosis, prime defenders and any of their one shots/mini campaigns, and others i’ll add later as i think of more!!

(and when i say feel welcome to talk about these things i mean PLEASE talk about these things, and if you ever need or want recommendations for any of those i’m the man to ask lmao!)

[atty-goldstein]

Hatchetfield and Mythology

I’ve been drawn back to mythology and its tropes lately so here’s some analysis to the best of my ability.

Webby most likely falls into the mythological archetype of the Mother Goddess. She’s a provider and is responsible for keeping the world in order. As with some great goddesses, she’s able to bring about destruction (requiring the deaths of those with a touch of the gift) in order to protect Hatchetfield from dark forces (her brothers’ servants). In a way, it’s quite reminiscent of the usual theme of death as a means of bringing about rebirth. It may even be why things in the Witchwood grow differently and exponentially.

It’s pretty obvious that the LiBs are of the Lords of Destruction archetype. Such gods are also linked to wealth and greed, and are not known to let go of souls easily. Except perhaps Wiggly, who seems to have let Nibbly have Linda in one timeline. And I suppose Pokey, Blinky, and Tinky aren’t so open to granting wealth.

I'm probably the only one who sees it this way but, I believe that the brother Webby said was the trickiest, was Tinky. I feel like Tinky is what fits the description of a trickster god, besides being a Lord of Destruction archetype. He appears to fit David Leeming’s description of a trickster god. Tinky is “wise and foolish,” possibly promiscuous, seems to be amoral, acts outrageously, and is in animal form as most tricksters are. He’s also “profoundly inventive” and “creative by nature.” I say this because he’s literally called the Bastard of Time and Space and the Weaver of Impossibilities. It takes quite an amount of smarts, cleverness, and creativity to manipulate time the way he does. Sometimes a trickster can be seen as a helper of humanity and come to think of it, if Ted played his cards right, he would’ve gotten that dream timeline where Jenny lived, and Miss Holloway uses spells related to Tinky in order to help others.

The song “The Witch in the Web” is oral tradition. In ancient times, songs were how myths and stories were passed on through generations. Webby passing down this song to Hannah is not unlike how the Greeks would say they were inspired by the Muses to tell the stories of heroes and history, it’s not unlike how Biblical authors would say they were inspired by the Holy Spirit to write books.

Now that I read up on it again, Witch in the Web and Yellow Jacket do fit Joseph Campbell’s “Hero’s Journey” for Hannah. (what makes it even more interesting is that one of the stages in the journey is literally called “apotheosis”) So apparently, Hannah’s got a monomyth going on.

Paul surprisingly lacks a good amount of stages in the Hero’s Journey, but that’s alright. I think he fits the Greek mythology standard of being a hero instead. He’s not blessed with exceptional skills, he doesn’t have much motivation, he’s kinda an asshole. But his being average and hatred of musicals is highlighted as the trait which is exactly what is needed to fight back the apotheosis. And sure, he fails, but he did his best, and that’s why it becomes a story worth telling, or singing, as is the case for the Infected.

In addition to that, the opening song itself is very reminiscent to how Greek epics would start with “Sing, O Muse, the story of...” Even the lines in the first stanza are a reflection of the significance of oral tradition in human culture. Hence, Paul’s story is intended to also become oral tradition even though what’s left of earth isn’t human.

Moving on, a good amount of stuff from the Hatchetfield stories are common to other world mythologies:

The Hatchetfield Ape-Man doesn’t just reference Bigfoot, because there are a lot of versions of large humanoid apes around the world. (i.e. the Himalayan Yeti, the Indonesian Orang Pendek, the Cambodian Tek Tek)

Willabella Muckwab is the Witch/Old Hag trope. Bonus points for the fact that she resided in Nightmare Time when hags usually did refer to “magical old women who are responsible for giving people bad dreams”

Trees are also often used to contain the cosmos in mythology, such as the Norse Yggdrasil and the Hindu Aswatha/Bodhi tree. They are also used to reflect personal transformation, like in the Daphne myth and the Vietnamese myth of Tun, Lung, and Tao. Both of these aspects of mythological trees are applicable to the Witchwood treeple. The Hatchetmen's ritual of turning them into the trees, to form Webby's protective net, which Hannah says represents the world, satisfies all that.

On the topic of trees, Yggdrasil had a squirrel that travels from the eagle and hawk on top, down to the dragon at the bottom, to deliver insults between them. So is that what Peanuts, the sentient pocket squirrel, is like? And would the eagle be McNamara, making Wiley the dragon?

There are various items that serve as artifacts, the Bastard’s Box as an evil artifact, Hannah’s ukelele as a magical weapon, the dagger in the Black Book as an ancient weapon, and I am still convinced that the Hatchet-Men’s hatchets are special artifacts as well.

True love also carries great power in Hatchetfield, as McNamara says. Though it is leaning more towards familial love. Lex and Hannah and Bill and Alice are the best examples of this because both pairs manage to defeat two LiBs. As for romantic love, I’d say Holloduke surpasses Paulkins in that Miss Holloway does keep finding Duke and Duke keeps remembering her in his heart even if the Deal wipes his memories away. Every time, Miss Holloway knows and feels that Duke loves her because that’s something even the gods cannot mess with. Whereas Paulkins needs more to get to that level.

Bringing Webby back up again, spider ladies are also quite common throughout mythology, such as Arachne. But an interesting one is the Japanese Jorogumo who is a ghost woman who shapeshifts into a spider and has the ability to manipulate dreams. Much like how Webby can manipulate what visions can get to Hannah.

That’s all I’ve got for now, but I’ll try to make another post if I’m to add on to this.

[limeinaltime]

I talk about Amberose for a bit and why I want to smash a metal chair over his head

A lot of The Apotheosis of Mari Erebos is experimental/a learning experience for me as a writer. It’s the first big project I’ve dedicated myself to making, and I’m doing it while in college and not in the best environment when it comes to creativity. It’s also planned to be a long-term project as well and might stretch beyond my remaining college years by a bit, but my attempts to shorten the story I want to tell have just left me feeling unsatisfied and feeling like I’m doing a disservice to myself. This is a story I want to tell, as fucked up of a story as it is and it gets even darker going forward as more elements are added. A lot of the lore grounded in canon will be off at first because keeping track of Homestuck’s immense lore is like trying to hold onto a giant, slippery worm, which is why all the edits come into play.

As you all have probably seen, I’ve been jumping back and forth between chapters, adding extra plot points and elements to tighten up characterization and add consistency that allows TAOME to better connect to Homestuck canon, but I feel like there’s something I’m still not getting, and no matter how much I edit, it’ll probably never be satisfied.

And it pertains to the bastard god himself.

I don’t condone any of the things Amberose does or believes in in this fic. I think people like him can eat shit and die for all I care. But I think in a way, my morality has blown that aspect of his character out of proportion when I write him, and yet I feel like in a way, that was what I kind of wanted to do. He’s not meant to be subtle most of the time, I don’t have the braincells to cook up clever shit like that, but that would also make him more effective of a character to me, because it would fit really well with TAOME’s other themes and character arcs. I said on my Twitter that he’s basically a fusion of Belos from The Owl House and Makima from Chainsaw Man (with some added Bill Cipher because I remember my roots), but in order to do good on that, I have to make him a lot more subtle, yet also keep that dramatic flair for forceful brutality and violation that makes him so sickening.

There’s a lot about Amberose and his crimes that I really want to share already, but I want it to hit and I want it to hit hard, so he might go through some remastering before we get there.

[pesterloglog]

Dave Strider, Gamzee Makara

Candy, page 13

DAVE: uh

DAVE: hey

DAVE: bro

DAVE: are you there?

DAVE: bro

DAVE: hey

DAVE: dude are you like gone i have something i really need to talk to you ab–

GAMZEE: HoNk.

DAVE: jesus FUCK

GAMZEE: HeY wHaTs ShAkInG mY mAn :O)

DAVE: gamzee what the FUCK

DAVE: god i think i shit my pants

GAMZEE: i’M sOrRy To HeAr ThAt My FiNe BrOtHeR.

DAVE: gamzee what the fuck are you doing here

DAVE: did you follow me here

GAMZEE: No MaN. i’Ve BeEn WaItInG fOr YoU. hOnK.

DAVE: oh thats so much better

DAVE: why the fuck are you doing that

GAMZEE: bEcAuSe I’m HeRe To BrInG yOu ThE gOoD nEwS.

DAVE: the news of what???

GAMZEE: ThE nEwS oF mE, mY mOtHeRfUcKeR.

GAMZEE: i’M hErE tO hElP yOu GeT aLl Up AnD rEdEeMeD fRoM yOuR wIcKeD sInS.

GAMZEE: PuT yOu On A rEaL aRc To SaLvAtIoN, hOnK.

DAVE: oh my fucking god what fucking sins

DAVE: wheres dirk

GAMZEE: tHeRe’S nO nEeD tO wOrRy AbOuT hIm. :o)

GAMZEE: YoU’rE gOnNa GeT wHaT’s BeSt FoR yOu. He ToLd Me ThAt, AnD i’M gOnNa MaKe SuRe HiS wIsH mAkEs LiKe A mOtHeRfUcKiNg MiRaClE aNd GeTs TrUe.

GAMZEE: hOnK!

DAVE: did i just walk into a horror movie

DAVE: did my bro get fucking axe murdered by a clown

DAVE: jesus christ

DAVE: dont tell me his body is down in the basement right now

GAMZEE: YoU dOn’T gOt AnY nEeD tO gO aNd CoNcErN yOuRsElF wItH hIs MoRtAl FlEsH bOdY oUt HeRe In ThIs CaNdYcAnE wHiRlPoOl BeYoNd ThE iNfInItE bLaCk WiNk Of ThE wIcKeD sInGuLaRiTy, My NiNjA.

GAMZEE: a SaCk Of MeAt AnD bOnEs In OnE lIfE oR tHe NeXt Is OnLy A mEaNs To ThE fInAl ToTaLiTy ThAt WiLl DaMn AnD rAiSe Us AlL iN bRiLlIaNt ApOtHeOsIs.

GAMZEE: In ThE oNe TrUe LiFe We AlL fLoW fRoM tHe OnE tRuE pEn,

GAMZEE: aNd EvErY hEaD rOlLs DoWn ThE pAtH tO tHe OnE tRuE hAnD.

DAVE: what the fuck did any of that mean are you drunk

DAVE: n/m i dont give a shit

DAVE: out of my way pagliacci

[gamma-writes]

Apotheosis

A oneshot about a human in the wrong place at the wrong time accidentally dying and becoming God(?)

CW for unreality, mentions of guns and shooting, mentions of a bomb

At 12:01 AM CST on January 1 of 2010, an entity of immense power came down from the cosmos and landed on the planet Earth. In the years of careful global trust-building exercises and education on human custom that followed, the being that came to be known as ECE pledged to help humanity solve its many, MANY issues and save the planet and all life on it.

I heard about her success all the time on the news. "Big Company Busted by Brazen Being!" flashing in fancy font in your face, ads begging to be clicked. Titles like "Oil Monopoly Toppled After Attempted Murder on ECE" were ladled atop respected news websites in stoic Arial or Times New Roman. I've even seen a few Alex Jones remixes on YouTube of the man vocoded while ranting about her being a spawn of the devil come to eat babies and destroy the world. He says that about pretty much everyone though, I think. ECE is a nice person. Nice lady? Alien? No one's really sure. Some call her the 'apotheosis of mankind'. Other people think she's God or Satan. A few even think she's a top-secret government super-soldier project, like Dr. Manhattan if he was a lot less buff and a lot more cosmic horror-y. Honestly, I never cared about what she was. She knocked out harmful companies contributing to climate change and corruption, and that's all a zoomer like me could ask for. Of course, it helped that the US government was pretty cooperative. They tried to destroy her a few times when she first showed up, but once it was clear that she was very much not killable and she also literally just wanted to help, they let her do her thing. Instead of sending in the military to launch missiles at her while she worked, they got the police to clear the area so no one gets hurt. Even if they didn't, ECE was always, and I mean ALWAYS, careful to keep her fights contained. One time Bezos and Musk teamed up to build a giant remote controlled robot to capture her and launched it right out of an Amazon warehouse with all the employees still inside. She kept her lasers and crazy energy powers in check and got all the workers out safely, then took down the two CEOs and their Transformers knockoff with barely any damage to the area. To this day, not a single person has died from one of her fights. The worst injuries are scraped knees and stubbed toes from people running away.

Ever heard of liminal spaces? Backrooms and all that. Spaces that are devoid of life, empty in a soul wrenching yet alluring way. I've always wanted to visit a liminal space. I don't really know why, probably something to do with the human psyche evolving to be weird or whatever. A few days ago I found a flyer for abandoned warehouse tours at the port downtown from where I lived. Obviously I was totally excited and I absolutely HAD to go. I was at my dad's house that week and he works all the time anyway so I planned to just hop on a bus by myself. I sort of hinted that I would be gone for a few hours doing something when he got home that night, he brushed it off and told me he was glad I was getting out of the house. I couldn't shake the fear he would say no if I told him the truth. I never can, actually. But he gave me all the approval I needed to plead innocent if I got caught, so I RSVPed online and pushed down my excitement so he wouldn't ask questions. It was scheduled for a Thursday afternoon right after school. Stuff had been getting weird over that last week, talk of an outbreak in China reaching the US had me washing my hands more than usual. All the students were either panicking or ignoring it. I figured it would be fine and put it out of my mind long enough to enjoy my trip. The bus ride was fine, I got lost looking for the tour guide but ended up finding them anyway. We visited a couple warehouses and I took a few pictures to remember the day. Of course I didn't know that I would have more than photos to remember that day by the end of it. I'm not clairvoyant, of course I wouldn't have known. The pictures weren't even that good probably. Not like anyone will ever see them now.

The thing is, no one really knows where ECE is until they make a public appearance. They could be literally anywhere in the world at any time. They've even been reported to hang out in the planet's orbit every so often. With all that ground to cover, the odds that a super-powered alien-lady-person-thing would be busting a ring of lead deforestation organizers operating out of an abandoned warehouse in the port of Los Angeles at the exact time an abandoned warehouse tour was passing through is pretty low. I'm not amazing at math, but it's at least a million to one. Maybe even a trillion to one! I guess I was pretty unlucky that day though. Probably because of that one time in third grade when Mackenzie Young pickle jinxed me for saying the word 'pencil' at the same time as her. Cursed for life, she told me. I didn't believe her. If I had, it probably wouldn't have made a difference anyway. The shiitake mushrooms hit the fan and before I knew it the tour group was scattering like cockroaches as bullets ricocheted off the rusting metal walls. A bolt of lightning shot out and vaporized a falling beam before it could crush anyone, and that was when I saw her.

God, demon, savior, destroyer, none of it could ever describe ECE. Hovering an inch off the floor with her palms spewing electricity, a pair of otherworldly purple irises darting systematically back and forth from innocent to attacker, body dark beyond light, a curtain of thin mass draped around her head like a straight-haired bob. She was perfection and chaos incarnate.

She was shooting literal ACTUAL lasers like ACTUAL LASERS from her fingers. Oh, and all the people were screaming and running away and stuff of course. Life or death situation and all that.

I got sort of mixed up in the crowd. There wasn't a lot of people and I wasn't very distinctive nor was I a good runner, so a minute or two after the fighting started I was just sorta left behind. There were some crates conveniently me-sized, so I sat down behind them and waited.

I knew I shouldn't have stayed, but I thought I could hide. I wanted to know what happened when all the humans left the scene, I wanted to see her in action. It was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, of COURSE I wasn't going to pass it up. If I'd known the people she was after had a bomb, I probably wouldn't have stuck around. Or maybe I would have. Who knows? She had to get rid of the thing though. Can't have half a nuke detonating in the middle of a populated area. So she did a cool powerful thing to make it disappear.

As the arcs of plasma began to crawl up the metal catwalk and strip apart the atoms of the crates I was hiding behind, I knew staying had been a mistake. I knew I was going to die. I didn't feel it when a volt blasted through my only cover and hit me in the leg. She did though, I think. She's connected to those energy bits she shoots out. She felt it as soon as her energy hit my nervous system. Everything sort of... slowed down. Maybe it was because I was dying, maybe it was the sudden influx of extra nerve-power to my brain, maybe it was all a hallucination. Who knows. But my body was disintegrating from the bottom up and all I could do was sit there as it went. I had a pretty clear view of her since everything in front of me had already been vaporized. There was all these arcs of plasma striking out everywhere, it was the coolest thing I'd ever seen up close. And there she was at the center of it all, charging up and floating a few feet off the ground. Like I said, everything was all slow-mo, so by the time the arc was up to my torso she had turned her head enough for me to clock her expression. She was totally shocked, I could tell. Definitely angry that some idiot human had decided to be dumb and stick around where a battle was happening. Probably concerned because she knew I was about to die. I don't blame her, like, at all. It was my own curiosity that got me into that situation. I'd chosen to hide instead of run. There was no way she would've known I was there in time. So in the split second I had as the bottom of my ribcage went up in smoke before I was totally gone, in an attempt to convey that I had no hard feelings towards her, I was okay with dying, I knew what I was getting myself into and that I had made a mistake, and really just trying to be cool about the whole situation, I managed to give her a single gesture.

A shrug and an awkward, mildly alarmed smirk. And then, poof. Gone. I didn't even get to see her face after that.

And now I'm just... Atoms With a bunch of energy pinging around between them in what could be a consciousness. Maybe even a sign of life. Maybe even a person. Or maybe just dust doing its best to prove Descartes was right. "Cogito ergo sum" I think therefore I am.

I am.

I am.

I am... here. Alive. Maybe. Probably. Inside something. Someone? A not-quite person. Bigger on the inside, smaller on the outside, it has... a face? Eyes? Something that transmits... information? Energy? Emotion? I can't really tell. I've been just sort of... drifting, I guess is the right word for it. Zapping around in this big empty space that could be space, like actual literal outer space, or maybe its something else. Something more. Less?

It's confusing.

This is confusing.

I'm confused.

But I'm thinking. I'm able to think like this. Words without words without sound without skull without mind. Without skin without bone without eyes. Maybe I'm atoms. Maybe I'm the pulses between the atoms. Maybe I'm nothing at all. Maybe I'm just dust.

Thinking dust. Dust that is. Really annoying electrified dust with a bunch of sounds recorded in it. Isn't that what humans are? Electrified dust with sounds? Is... is that just what life is? Is that all it ever was? Just dust? Does that mean I'm alive? I am, aren't I. I'm alive. I am. I am. I'm stuck in a place that could be space and I'm dust and I'm alive and I am. I a-

ripped from the womb i am bombarded with particles and light

"There you are. So you are the one that has been jumping around in my head."

it's cold

something is pinching me whatever i am it is holding me pulling me from where

cold

too cold

"You must be that teen from the warehouse. I do not know what made you stay there. I am sorry you are dead, but you have to leave now. You cannot stay."

not listening

not dead

alive alive cold too cold i must pull back there is a string of me back to where i will pull myself back to where

"What are you doing? Stop that, did you not hear me? You have to go. There is not room for you in my head."

pull pull pullpullpullpull

"Hey! Stop that! No! I said no! Do you hear me? No!!"

back inside

"NO!!!"

running around in the warm it is quiet and something is piercing me trying to get me out

"Get out get OUT GET OUT!!"

no

i am alive in here i am dust i am living thinking annoying dust i am alive in here you can't make me go

"I do not care!! There is no room, stop!! You are changing me, I cannot... I can't... I can't get... out... please..."

i am Expanding into space everywhere is full of Me

bigger on the inside space is full of Me

living, thinking, annoying Me who thought it was a good idea to stay where I could get hurt because life was not enough for me to simply stay where it was safe I had to have more I had to go where I should not go and now I am

Eyes

The world is the size of my eyes They are purple and black and white and they see

Hands Claws? Sharp bits, pointy, but fleshy. Skin is dark. Not melanin dark, dark that has no light, satin soft trailing through atoms like spider silk.

I am atoms Suddenly I am not atoms Suddenly I am not Me Suddenly I am not Suddenly I am And Then

"Oh. That's what you meant."

I feel pretty dumb now. Obviously being pure conscious energy bouncing around inside a being made of energy is going to result in a merging of the two. I mean, it makes sense to me now but like, a few minutes ago? Nah. I never took physics, too much math for my taste.

Woah. Woah woah woah woah. This thing knows a lot. A LOT a lot. Like, WAY too much. I'm transitioning still but it's going faster, it's like the last bit of sand pouring down through the funnel of an hourglass.

I made her scared. She was scared when she killed me, and then when I tried to get back into her mind she was scared 'cause she knew she would be lost in me. Now we're lost in each other. We're... the same? Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Maybe.

Oh there's more

WOW there's more there's still more LOTS more

It's the universe the WHOOOOLE universe like everything beginning to end all over time and space and she's seen it And now I've seen it. I know the answer to every question anyone could ever ask about anything. I saw the first humans the last dinosaurs the first land creature the last ocean the first cell the last dying star ever to shine and

hey why am i bleeding I'm bleeding??? Oh my god????

"Hlep"

"bleh blrbrlsbrb"

That piece doesn't go there I think uh oh oh boy hang on hang on I can do this

There!

"There!"

I can talk.

"Yep, I can talk."

I can think and talk at the same time.

"I can think and talk at the same time. Why am I repeating myself?"

Because there's someone in the room with you.

oh

hello

"Hello."

They scream.

As of 9:11 AM PST on November 13 of 2020, the body called ECE has been stolen and possessed by a seventeen-year-old highschool student with ADHD and a knack for getting into trouble. In the thirty seconds it took for her to completely overtake the body of ECE, a decade of careful humanitarian efforts to save the planet and all life on it collapsed like a poorly built sand castle in water.

[thehallstara]

Blaseball Fic Recs

I really wasn't planning on doing one of these but then I realized that I had pretty much done half the work already when hen was looking for some so might as well!! I tried to keep this to one per person and also have a wide selection of teams.

Black Hole Oral History Project by waltztangocache - Genuinely there are so many things by hen I wanted to pick (like so much left to recover which you need to read) but this one is just such an excellent use of form that I had to rec it. Pedro Davids conducts interviews in the black hole and it's EXCELLENT.

A face for radio by Impernia - such a fun and fascinating exploration of when the sim broke during the last short circuit and teams were playing double games.

voices on the other line by papouleaf - human socks maybe irm and mx chicago have a conversation and I think about it far too much.

it could be better by oxicleanmoron - simple and sweet, Brock helps bertie with recarcinizing and also I cry.

life's a beach and then you die by h4wkguy - this fic is criminally underrated. Vela Meadows helps Paula Reddick out of the Hellmouth and man does it hurt!

here, beneath my lungs by babytriumphant - again, robbie is one of those people where there are SO MANY fics i could recommend (tatbt is a goddamn classic), and to be frank once you finish this you should check out the rest of the chicago, in brief series because i genuinely could have pulled any one of them for this, but this is one i go back to a lot.

ORPHEUS by nix/moonofpluto/geometea - gd knows i love a good twine and man is this a GOOD ONE. son jenson is coming for your heart along with her own and you will be stunned.

The Crabitat Language, Attunement, Understanding, and Unity, Standard by cylite is one continuous conversation flowing over 24 seasons and it’s such an interesting exploration of different relationships amongst the crabs.

F. All of the Above and albatross by queeneevee - okay i know i said i was sticking to one per person but i truly couldn’t decide between these two by cola for different reasons. F. is one of the smartest and coolest blaseball fics i’ve ever read and albatross shattered me into a million pieces and then rebuilt me back up in 1212 words and you should read them both.

Apotheosis by Silvereye - deification and mytholigization of dead players is something i think about a lot in blaseball and few fics i’ve read explore it more succinctly than this one about Landry.

the valor i have won by marquis - okay, yes i know i keep saying this, but damn blink is another person where i genuinely could have picked SO many fics of theirs for this (cough go read roots) but when it came down to it i had to go with this one. i’ve read it like. at least three times and it’s been like a shot through the heart for each and every one. it’s the story of don mitchell in the seasons leading up to his vaulting and it’s devastating in all the right ways.

the downswing by waveridden - y’all know what i’m about to say– there’s so many fics i could have chosen but ultimately a year on i still love this fic so much and it still informs how i think about blooddrain to this day. SUCH an excellent fic if you can handle the gore.

Letters at the End of the World by athenadykes - pretty much what the title implies. heartbreaking, devastating, perfection.

all in, palms out, by Flavortext - man listen i think about this fic, okay? what a wonderful piece about how knight triumphant’s relationships have changed and shifted leading up to blaseball and it just really gets me.

that which you cannot kill by Lenasai - a twine fic that makes excellent use of the form and made me care about the wyatts, which is no small feat.

The Graveyard Shift. by theclowne - pedro davids being the one unalted go crab left is a fact that kills me and man does this fic ever hammer that fact home in a way that is simultaneously hopeful and devastating.

you are sundae by porcupine (jetset) - man oh man this fic. it’s about all three sundaes (roscoe of the wings, vess of the worms, and tamsie of the pre-history crabs) and it is fascinating and devastating and just stunningly good writing.

Flames To Sun To Shadows by Awesome_Sauce432 - have you ever wanted to learn about the wondrousness that is kaj statter jr? this is THE fic for you. 20k of just genuine fun and delight and incredible character study. 

eloise butterworth breaks the world by cyndakip - sc03 makes another appearance!! again, just a truly intriguing exploration of the bugs that happened that circuit with some delightful characterization to wrap it up.

drift by baliset - okay first i feel like i need to give an honorary shoutout to lucky people because that fic made sob, but continuing the theme of exploration of bugs, this is all about shaquille torres dying during the grand unslam and how that might have gone and man it is just so good.

the many lives of zack sanders by dasyuridae - okay yes this is unfinished and yes i am biased because dasy is my very good friend but you should read it regardless because this is THE zack fic for me i adore her so greatly.

last but not least there’s this quiz by barry. not a fic in the traditional sense but one of my favourite pieces of blaseball fanwork period you have to give it a shot

[volot]

headcanon: empathy, sympathy, pity.

or: how volo views the world through his own fishbowl lens, and how his empathy has twisted itself into something that doesn’t look like it normally should.

remember how i wanted to talk about volo’s fucked up empathy? let’s jump into that.

when it comes to a character who wishes to end the world, there’s a common debate on whether or not these kinds of characters practice empathy. in the thickets of fandom spaces, i’ve seen either side argued; a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’, and like all things on this blog, i’m inclined to think it’s a little more... complicated than that?

to start, i’ll say this: i don’t personally believe volo is a heartless person. but i also don’t believe volo is a bleeding heart, either. 

volo is, after all, just a man. a man who has endured alluded to trauma, both generational and connected to his heritage / culture, and presumably very heartbreaking and painful situations based on what he says. he has seen history and its bloody, ugly bones, he has likely seen others suffer as he has if not worse, and has witnessed and been through enough to believe that change is not possible, but a full reset of everything is. there is no coming back, there is no change they can reach, they must start anew, and by someone who knows it best, under a god who will account for all the suffering in the world. 

but he is also a man with a complex. he is someone who has deluded himself into believing he is grandiosely special, someone who is chosen and destined to meet with god, someone who is far greater than any other due to his destiny and the blood in his veins, that he is above many things for these reasons. he puts himself in the position of someone who is no man, but is someone meant for so much more, a being on par with divinity, who will reach apotheosis and bring forth a better world of his own plan. he views himself as the closest thing to god, a savior, and one who will become god and control creation at his fingertips. he has decided this. fate has decided this.

so, that begs the question: how does he feel with all this in mind? what does this do to his perspective?

there’s one word i’ve used consistently in writing him and i’ve always used it for a pretty good reason.

to put it simply: volo pities.

to be more precise: volo has a repeated behavior in-game where he looks and acts like he’s either very distant or purposefully separating himself from things ( people, places, affiliations, so on, outside of his roots ), and/or believing he is above it somehow. the way volo’s pity works is ironically similar to the god he chases and condemns: the best way to describe it, i think, is comparing it to that of a god looking down upon something that is small and pitiful, reserved and not personally involved, but they can recognize that this is, indeed, something very sad, he can acknowledge the tragedy of it, of what a shame it is that they must have gone through or endured these things.

i’ve talked plenty of times about how volo suffers from extreme tunnel vision, focusing heavily on his own grief and using others as means of justification of his own resolution to the problem. a good post that glazes over it is this one, where i still stand by the fact that while empathetic, volo’s empathy is very selfish and self-serving. your grief, suffering, and hardship are fuel to his ever-burning fire; he will remember and carry it with him up to god’s altar when he asks why, but he doesn’t care for if you want the world reset or not: your agony is clear to him, a bargaining piece, a shard to fix in his new world. this quote of his puts it best:

"You see, ever since I was young, whenever I met with something painful or heartbreaking... I couldn't help but wonder why life was so unfair. Why I was cursed to live through such things. Of course, I imagine we all go through something like that. “

i’ve bolded an important line here, because volo talks primarily of his own grief, first and foremost. he rattles on about his own hardships, the wounds still aching; he’s focused on it first, then tacks on that he imagines ‘we all go through something like that.’ this can be read as sort of a dismissive afterthought, as though he’s saying ‘yeah others probably feel this way, too.’ but i believe this is him setting up sympathies, evoking a sense of familiarity, and equally accounting for the fact that he has seen people suffer just as he has. he knows it isn’t just him, even if he’s centered on his own orbit; there are others in this world who have gone through similar hardships, and they are one of the many footnotes as to why this world must be reset. it is resounding for him, i think. hammering the point in. to himself, to the player; that if there are others, then the world must be reset, that they would want this too; this forces the player to think: do we all go through something like that? are there others who feel this way, too? do we, as the player, feel this way as well? 

that’s not to say volo is cruel about it. hardly so. if you were to bare your heart to him, then he will fall into his savior complex easily. become the shoulder you need, become the hands you need to hold you upright when the world feels as though it will shatter beneath you, the arms you can allow yourself to crumble into. he will comfort you, he will console you with soft words that sound sympathetic, gentle touches if you want them - validate your hurt your anger, your upset, your grief. he will sympathize,  he will let you vent it out, he will dry your tears, he will become whatever pillar of strength and hope you require. for as much as he blathers, he’s good at it; the listening, the consoling. the whispering of promises for a better world, with the ambition to back it up if he has tried to instill this into you. someone who understands, who is hearing you, who is listening to you, who is seeing your grief and says ‘i’m sorry that this happened to you.’ ( this too is manipulative in a way, but what isn’t about him? )

 ...but does he relate to you? does his heart bleed for you? no, not exactly. i believe he can recognize the grief, the tragedy, he can recognize your sadness and he can pity with all he has; he feels bad for you, for your situation. his expression may turn somber, or he may scowl at the heavens. but this is less to do with you, on a level that is intimate and personal, and more struggle in his faith, a sisyphean feeling in regards to arceus; he wonders, how can a god with a heart do this? how can a god that is claimed to be compassionate and good and true able to allow these tragedies to roll by? he may feel anger at your situation, but it is all anger that is directed at god. he feels, intensely as he tends to, but not to the point of being blinded by it. there is a line he must draw. distance he must retain.

something i’ve meant to talk about in my future headcanon explaining how he manipulates is that he can recognize when someone has suffered just like he has. he can find these threads of similarity, but he does not outright relate to you: instead, he acknowledges it and uses it to his own advantage but again, remains distant and detached. this will get its own post, but hey, it’s still worth noting. 

he cannot put himself in your shoes - in the same way he avoids getting attached to people in general, because this world is going to end sooner than later - and walk through your steps because it is beneath him to do so, but he can carry you over the ledges and the rifts and the mountains. he struggles to relate to you, on a non-superficial level, but most important is that he cannot bleed himself dry for you, because a god without blood will be too weak to lift the new world up. so instead, he looks down upon you.

“but lucian,” you say. “if he pities people, what about how carelessly he talks about how everyone will die when the world is reset?” and to it i say to you: i think it’s still a little complicated!

with that quote, this one:

"Of course, if I create a brand-new world, then the Hisui region that we currently exist in will be undone and returned to nothing. You, everyone you know, and all the Pokémon living here will vanish in an instant, as if you'd never been."

i’ve seen this argued in favor of him having no empathy, and while i respect that analysis, i don’t personally view it as the case. i think here, he displays a few things:

1.) he has already decided on this goal a long, long time ago. while not spoiling my written headcanon on his motivations, it is worth noting that he is also curious about the power arceus holds, and i’m sure he is of the belief that if there was someone he wished to bring over, why would he be unable to? he is delusional and on a power high, and thoroughly convinced this is possible.

2.) even if that weren’t possible, then this will not stop him. he has already been dead-set on what the outcome is, and there is nothing good without a little sacrifice. it is sad that people will lose their lives in this world if he recreates it, yes; tragic, definitely, these are things he can absolutely recognize. but he must do what he has to, and this is not something that will make him hesitate or reconsider. what must be done, must be done. their lives are already so filled with suffering and doomed: it is best to end them early before misery sets, and give them a brand new shot in the new world. the ends justify the means.

3.) he is likely saying this to also provoke the player, while not being dishonest about it: because he demands that they must fight beneath god’s eye, because that is what he wants. he wants to bid a show for arceus, to prove that he is the one that should be rightfully chosen, and then get rid of you, so that someone like you doesn’t dare oppose him.

in the end... your grief is something he considers pitiful; people are pitiful souls and pokemon are pitiful beasts, and he will drink your sorrows from the well to fill his ambitions whole. 

[seasurfacefullofclouds1]

“I know, culturally, it’s interesting, but I’m just a bit tired of [the conspiracy theory that Tomlinson and Styles are in a secret relationship],” [Tomlinson] says. […] Was it annoying that a show had taken something fairly niche and given it new mainstream life? “Again, I get the cultural intention behind that. But I think …” He trails off, trying to work out what he wants to say. “It just felt a little bit … No, I’m not going to lie, I was pissed off. It annoyed me that a big company would get behind it.”

- Louis Tomlinson on loss and love: ‘The dark side I’ve been through gives me strength’ The Guardian, 25 September 2019 (Emine Saner)

•

His bandmates also benefited from the pop star boot camp. The proof is in the relatively seamless solo transitions of at least three of its members — Payne, Malik and Horan in addition to Styles — each of whom has landed hit singles on charts in the U.K., the U.S. and beyond.

- This Charming Man: Why We’re Wild About Harry Styles Variety, 2 December 2020 (Shirley Halperin)

•

Yet for all of Styles’ gracious comments and good-natured quips to the crowd, the best one-liner of the evening belonged to my companion, my 15-year-old niece.

From our seats, it was difficult to see what was inside Harry-as-Dorothy’s basket. “What do you think he’s got in there?,” I asked.

“Louis Tomlinson,” she replied instantly.

- Harry Styles Dresses Up as Dorothy for ‘Wizard of Oz’-Themed ‘Harryween’ Show on Halloween Eve: Concert Review Variety 31 October 2021 (Jem Aswad)

Jem Aswad was on the panel of Variety’s Hitmaker of the Year selection. His casual cruelty and contempt toward Louis in his apotheosis review of Harry’s concert makes much more sense in this context.

Memo to Mr. Aswad: don’t bait Larries and call them crazy at the same time.

Last thing about this article: Harry queerbaited and larrybaited last night, yet Olivia Wilde was there and Harry sang his Grammy-winning pussy song to women of every age. Today a major industry mouthpiece, Variety, made fun of Larries as conspiracy-believing 15-year-old girls, and mocked Louis Tomlinson’s career which touches Harry’s only by hiding in his little tote.

These people really know how to play with other people’s lives, even people who have suffered enough and have done nothing to offend them. Power corrupts. Somewhere there’s an aged portrait of Harry Styles.

[blackswaneuroparedux]

Anonymous asked: I loved your fantastic account of the battle of Waterloo and how each nation came to define the rest of the century for all the European countries in different ways. However what are your thoughts about the battle itself? Did Wellington win it or did Napoleon lose it? What were the turning points that you think determined the fate of the battle?

Thank you for reading and liking my previous post on Waterloo. I did heavily lean into studying ancient classical warfare when I was studying Classics but I only got into Napoleonic warfare because of a father who was (and still remains) big Napoleonic warfare military enthusiast. Through his keen eyes as a former serving military man, I also looked at the battle as a soldier might as well putting on my academic critical thinking cap. It’s a popular parlour game not just in Sandhurst but also in the officers’ mess (where those regiments actually fought at Waterloo) and around dinner tables - in my experience anyway.

I’ve always seen such speculative and counterfactual questions as an amusing diversion. I’ve never seriously looked at the detail until I came to France and unexpectedly interacted with Napoleonic scholars as well as soldiers (the cultured and historically well read ones at least) that forced me to think more about it. I’ve always been of the ‘if the Prussians hadn’t arrived in time to save Wellington’ school; and this was always enough to get me by in any conversation.

But my vanity was stung by interacting with one of my downstairs neighbours, a high decorated retired army general, with whom I played a weekly game of chess over a glass of wine during the Covid lockdown in Paris. He didn’t spare me as he knew so much detail about the battle. But a typical failing of French thinking is to pontificate around generalities rather than specific reasons. So for him it came down to pooh-poohing the generalship of Wellington (the rain saved him) and lauding the emperor (he had haemorrhoids and thus a bad day at the office). So rain and haemorrhoids were the decisive factors in determining the outcome of the battle of Waterloo.

It was clear I had to raise my game. So I’ve been reading more when I could.

I had recently finished reading a wonderful book ‘The Longest Afternoon: The 400 Men Who Decided the Battle of Waterloo’ by the Cambridge historian Brendan Simms. The book came out in 2015 but it’s been lying on my shelf for these past few years until I actually took this slim book to read on my one of my business trips.  

The idea behind this short book is so superbly useful. It places to one side the huge, cinematic panorama of history and instead concentrates on one particular farmhouse, on one particular day: 18 June 1815. History is vivified, lifts itself off the page and into the mind, when a historian of Brendan Simm’s immense stature zooms in on the details - and here the details are compelling.

For the course of one day, 400 soldiers, wet, cold, in some cases hungover, who had bivouacked for the night in an abandoned farmhouse at La Haye Sainte, near a crucially strategic crossroads, found themselves staring down the massed barrels of Napoleon’s vanguard – and held them off.  On June 18, 1815, Wellington established his position and sent one battalion and part of a second to the farmhouse under the command of Major Baring. Napoléon’s initial attack was a direct assault that surrounded the house and came near to breaking Wellington’s line; but it held, and the legendary charge of two British heavy cavalry brigades drove back the French.

This is a detailed account of the defence of La Haye Sainte, a walled stone farmhouse forward of Wellington’s centre. Its defenders were the King’s German Legion, which (despite the British army’s penchant for oddball names) was genuinely German. Britain harboured many German expatriates who detested Napoléon, a number augmented in 1803 when he occupied Hanover and disbanded its army. That very year two ambitious officers recruited the first members of the King’s German Legion, which grew into a corps of some 14,000 men and served with distinction at Copenhagen, Walcheren and in Spain before its apotheosis at Waterloo.

Ordered to capture the farmhouse, Marshal Michel Ney - commanding Napoléon’s left wing - obeyed but became preoccupied with his famously unsuccessful cavalry attack. Reminded of the order two hours later, he dispatched infantry that reached the house and set it on fire. The men inside controlled the blaze and continued to fight until Ney took personal charge of a furious assault that succeeded only when the defenders ran out of ammunition and withdrew, having held out for six hours. Had they not defended it so stoutly and if the farm had fallen any sooner then Napoleon would have been able to get at Wellington’s troops before his Prussian reinforcements arrived, and in all likelihood Waterloo would have been a French victory instead; it would now be the name of a train station in Paris rather than London.

I doubt there is a definitive answer to this question which is why certain people love arguing about it because it’s so open ended in terms of cause and effect. You can pick on any episodic event and hail that as the decisive turning point. It’s one reason why we are so fortunate to have so many well researched history books on the battle of Waterloo to replenish the issues for a newer generation to argue with past generations.

If I were to go beyond the ‘if the Prussians hadn’t arrived to save Wellington’ line then I would point to ten decisive turning points which in themselves might not have changed the outcome but taken together certainly influenced the final outcome of one of the most important and iconic battles in history.

Napoleon gives Marshal Davout a desk job

6 June 1815 – All commanders need a good chief of staff to ensure that their intentions are translated into clear orders. Unfortunately for Napoleon – as what is arguably one of the most decisive battles in European history loomed – his trusted chief of staff, Marshal Berthier, was no longer available. Berthier had sworn an oath of loyalty to Louis XVIII – and then fallen to his death from a window – so the job was given to Marshal Soult.

Soult was an experienced field commander but he was certainly no Berthier. Napoleon’s two main field commanders were also far from ideal. Emmanuel Grouchy had little experience of independent command. Michel Ney’s heroic command of the French rear-guard during the retreat from Moscow led Napoleon to dub him “the bravest of the brave”, but by 1815 he was clearly burnt out.

Worse still, when on 6 June Napoleon ordered his generals to assemble with their troops on the Belgian border he chose to leave behind Louis-Nicolas Davout, his ‘Iron Marshal’, as minister of war. The emperor needed someone loyal to oversee affairs at home but the decision not to take with him the ablest general at his disposal would deprive him of the one commander who might have made a difference.

Constant Rebecque ignores orders

15 June – In June 1815 Napoleon assembled 120,000 men on the Belgian border. Opposing him were 115,000 Prussians under  Field Marshal Blücher and an allied force of about 93,000 men under Wellington. Faced with such odds, Napoleon’s best chance of victory was to get his army between his two enemies and defeat one before turning on the other. On 15 June his army crossed the frontier at Charleroi and headed straight for the gap between the two allied armies.

Wellington was taken completely by surprise: “Napoleon has humbugged me” he said. Uncertain what Napoleon’s intentions were, he ordered his army to concentrate around Nivelles, over 12 miles away from the Prussian position at Ligny. This would have left the two allied armies dangerously separated but fortunately for Wellington, a staff officer in the Dutch army, Baron Constant Rebecque, understood what was actually needed. He disregarded Wellington’s order and instead sent a force to occupy the key crossroads of Quatre Bras, much nearer to the Prussians.

D’Erlon misses the show

16 June – Two battles were fought on 16 June. While Marshal Ney took on Wellington’s army as it hurriedly tried to concentrate around Quatre Bras, Napoleon led the main French force against the Prussians at Ligny. Blücher’s inexperienced Prussians were given a severe mauling but despite this they managed to fall back in relatively good order.

This was partly due to a disastrous mix-up on the part of the French. Confusion over orders saw General D’Erlon’s corps instructed to leave Ney’s army at Quatre Bras and join the fighting at Ligny only to be recalled as soon as they got there. The result was that 16,000 Frenchmen who could have intervened decisively actually took part in neither battle.

Blücher stays in touch

17 June – Wellington succeeded in beating back Ney at Quatre Bras but Blücher’s defeat left the British general with a large French army on his eastern flank. He was forced to fall back northwards towards Brussels. The Prussians were retreating as well. Normally a retreating army tries to withdraw along its lines of communication (ie the route back to its base). Had the Prussians done this they would have headed eastwards. The two allied armies would then have been even further apart and Wellington would have been overwhelmed. But instead of doing that, the Prussians retreated northwards towards Wavre. It was to be a crucial move. The two allied armies stayed in contact and on 17 June Wellington was able to fall back to the ridge at Mont St Jean, and prepare to make a stand there until Blücher’s Prussians could come to his aid.

The weather takes a hand

17 June – The night before the battle was marked by a thunderstorm of biblical proportions. Rain lashed down, turning roads into quagmires and trampled fields into seas of mud.

It was a night of tremendous rain and cloudbursts. Wellington said that even in the monsoons in India, he’d never known rain like it. To wake up cold and damp, wet and terrified, then you have this slaughter in a very small space. By evening there were over 200,000 men struggling to kill each other within four square miles.

Private Wheeler of the 51st Regiment later wrote: “The ground was too wet to lie down… the water ran in streams from the cuffs of our Jackets… We had one consolation, we knew that the enemy were in the same plight.” Wheeler was right of course – the rain would inconvenience all three armies, not least the Prussians as they struggled along narrow country lanes to link up with Wellington.

It’s often said that Napoleon delayed starting the battle in order to allow the ground to dry out but the chief cause of the delay was probably the need to allow his units, many of whom had bivouacked some distance away, to take up their allotted places. Napoleon enjoyed a considerable advantage in artillery at Waterloo but this was lessened by the fact that the mud made it difficult to move his guns around and that cannonballs, normally designed to bounce along until they hit something, or someone, often disappeared harmlessly into the soggy ground. Macdonnell closes the gates

11:30am, 18 June – On 18 June the two armies prepared to do battle. Most of Wellington’s troops were sheltered from enemy fire on the reverse slope of the Mont St Jean ridge. The position was protected by three important outposts: a group of farms to the left, the farm of La Haye Sainte in front and the farmhouse of Hougoumont to the right.

At about 11.30am the French launched their first attack – an assault on Hougoumont. This soon developed into a battle within a battle as the French threw in ever more men in a bid to capture the vital chateau. They nearly succeeded: led by a giant officer nicknamed ‘the Smasher’, a group of French soldiers worked their way round to the rear of the chateau, forced open its north gate and burst inside.

James Macdonnell, the garrison commander, acted quickly. He gathered a group of men and they heaved the gate shut again. The French inside the chateau were then hunted down and killed. Only a young drummer boy was spared. Hougoumont was to remain in allied hands all day and Wellington later commented that the entire result of the battle depended on the closing of those gates.

Ney loses his head after his cavalry founders

1.30pm – The infantry of D’Erlon’s corps finally saw action as they attacked the left wing of Wellington’s army. As they reached the crest of the ridge they were met by the infantry of Sir Thomas Picton’s division. Picton, a foul-mouthed Welshman who rode into battle in a civilian coat and round-brimmed hat, was shot dead but his men stopped the French, who were then driven back by Wellington’s cavalry.

The next major French attack was very different. Ney unleashed his cavalry in a mass frontal attack, and thousands of Napoleon’s famous cuirassiers – big men in steel breastplates riding big horses – thundered up the hill. But Wellington’s infantry stayed calm. Forming squares, they presented in all directions a hedge of bayonets that no horse could be made to charge.

Ney needed to call the cavalry off or support them with infantry but he lost his head and threw more horsemen into the fray. When he abandoned these fruitless attacks, Wellington’s line was still unbroken, two hours had been wasted, and the Prussians were arriving in force.

The Prussians arrive

4.30pm – Blücher had promised to come to Wellington’s aid, and kept his word. Napoleon had detached nearly a third of his army under Grouchy to prevent the Prussians joining up with Wellington but Grouchy failed to do this and, by mid-afternoon, the first Prussian units were in action on the battlefield.

At about 4.30pm they launched their first attack upon the key village of Plancenoit near the rear of Napoleon’s main position. This savage battle would rage for over three hours. Faced with this, Napoleon was forced to send many of his remaining reserves to shore up his position – leaving him with precious few troops to exploit any success his troops might enjoy against Wellington.

Napoleon says no, and von Zeithen turns back

6.30pm – At about 6.30pm the French captured La Haye Sainte. Posting artillery and skirmishers around the farm, they unleashed a storm of shot, shell and musketry into Wellington’s exposed centre. The regiments there suffered horrendous casualties, but Wellington’s line held – just.

Ney asked for reinforcements to press home his advantage but Napoleon refused. Instead he sent troops to recapture Plancenoit which had just fallen to the Prussians. Von Zeiten’s Prussian I Corps arrived on the scene. These much-needed reinforcements were set to join Wellington when a Prussian aide de camp rode up with an order from Blücher instructing them to head south and support his troops at Plancenoit. Von Zeiten obeyed. Realising that Von Zeiten’s troops were desperately needed on the ridge, Baron von Müffling, Wellington’s Prussian liaison officer, galloped after Von Zeiten and pleaded with him to ignore this new order and stick to the original plan. The Prussian general turned back and took his place on Wellington’s left, enabling the duke to shift troops over to reinforce his crumbling centre. The crisis had passed.

Napoleon’s last roll of the dice ends in panic

7.30pm – With Plancenoit back in French hands the stage was set for the final act in the drama. At about 7.30pm Napoleon unleashed his elite imperial guard in a last desperate bid for victory. But it was too late – they were hopelessly outnumbered and Wellington was ready for them. His own troops had been sheltering from the French fire by lying down but when the two large columns of French guardsmen reached the crest of the ridge Wellington ordered his own guards to stand up. One British guardsman describes the scene: “Whether it was (our) sudden appearance so near to them, or the tremendously heavy fire we threw into them but La Garde, who had never previously failed in an attack, suddenly stopped.”

Meanwhile Sir John Colborne of the 52nd Light Infantry wheeled his regiment round to attack the flank of the first French column while General Chasse ordered his Dutch and Belgian troops forward against the other. Soon both French columns had withered away under the deadly fire. Their defeat led to widespread panic in the French army: amid cries of “La Garde recule” (“the Guard is retreating”) it dissolved into a disorderly retreat mercilessly harried by the Prussians. “The nearest-run thing you ever saw in your life,” as Wellington described the battle, was over.

This isn’t an exhaustive list but it will do.

Waterloo was a watershed moment for Europe, and indeed the world. The end of the Napoleonic Wars heralded a peace in Europe which was not broken until the outbreak of World War One in 1914. In the century following the Battle of Waterloo an increased respect developed for the figure of the soldier. True the Battle became mythologised in the nineteenth century and is now embedded in our cultural memory as one of the great British success stories.

We still celebrate Waterloo because it was a great British victory - even if we had a little bit of help from the Prussians. It embodied the British bulldog spirit and marked the moment we finally overcame Napoleon and his empire after a decade of being at war.

The ramifications from Waterloo and the Napoleonic Wars are still felt today in contemporary European politics. I think because of this the battle continues to fascinate and to court intense discussion and disagreement.

No doubt my French neighbour the retired army general and I will continue to stubbornly argue our differing viewpoints until the wine bottle empties. But we both agree that we would enjoy having dinner with Napoleon and talk about his military campaigns. I admire Napoleon a little more having read more and for living in France. He’d be a very amusing and stimulating companion.

In many ways, he was also an enlightened and intelligent ruler. His Code Napoleon is an extremely enlightened law code. At the same time this is a man who had a very, very low threshold for boredom. I think he was addicted to war.

General Robert E. Lee, at Fredericksburg said, “It is well that war is so dreadful, otherwise we would grow too fond of it.”

Napoleon would never have agreed with that. War was his drug. There’s no evidence that Wellington enjoyed war. He said after Waterloo, and I believe him, “I pray to God that I have fought my last battle.” He spent much of the battle saying to the men, “If you survive, if you just stand there and repel the French, I’ll guarantee you a generation of peace.” He thought the point of war was peace. And he sure gave not just Britain but also an entire European continent some respite from the spilling of blood on a battlefield.

Thanks for your question.

[romanianwilkinson]

EVEN MORE DISCORD SERVER SENTENCE STARTERS

A collection of quotes from my Discord server with friends. Feel free to change pronouns/wording as desired. CONTENT WARNING(S) FOR: Suggestive, crude, violence, gore, absolutely cursed. [ PART 1 ] [ PART 2 ]

“ Murder is therapeutic! ”

“ IT’S CALLED BEING AWESOME AND FUCKING POWERFUL AND I’M DOING IT. ”

“ I've given them an 8ft tall juice box. ” “ It's full of bone juice! ” “ NOT THAT KIND OF BONE JUICE!! ”

“ I KNOW BUT [NAME]’S FAT ASS IS MAKING ME ACT FUNNY. ”

“ [NAME]... You burp like dads sneeze. ”

“ Catboy twink shortage. ”

“ I'M NOT LETTING THE GOVERNMENT TAKE AWAY MY CATGIRLS! ”

“ Has the government already taken catboys? ”

“ Why does it always come back to the catpeople here? ”

“ The government outlaws catboys and confiscates the catgirls. ”

“ It's always either cat people, tearing down the government, or tiddies. ”

“ [NAME], that’s cannibalism, you can’t do that. ”

“ You can’t eat gods without toebeans. ”

“ HELL YEAH, SHE’S CONFIRMED FOR NOT JESUS! ”

“ You're telling me, that someone's been holding out retractable titties on us?! ”

“ WHY DO YOU WANT TO BANG BUTCH HARTMAN?! ”

“ Do the drums, but sexy. ”

“ She is attractive because she is the Devil. This is what we have learned from Catholicism. ”

“ WHAT ELSE ARE TIRES, OTHER THAN CAR BEANS!!!!!! ”

“ She is a Snacc, so you hold her securely like one. ”

“ Holy cake, call that communion bread. ”

“ It's a skeleton, I don't think it has a gender. ”

“ You’re straight, you’re not majestic. ”

“ INDEED. I HAVE HOOVES. ”

“ How to Give Your Enemies Trauma 101. ”

“ Quiet, we’re approaching the therapist paddock. ”

“ Jesus has breached containment. ”

“ I really am cursed with knowledge of forbidden snacks. ”

“ Hey pog, are ya champ? ”

“ You ever look at a sheep? There's something messed up about sheep. ”

“ I can’t be convinced the art of charcuterie boards is not something inherently fae in nature. ”

“ THEY MUST FUSE FOR THE ULTIMATE CHICKEN TENDIE. ”

“ We shall absorb the folly of man, grow and expand those snacks until they become a really big tendie. ”

“ GOD I FORGOT HOW PLANTS SMELL PLEASE BURY ME IN THE DIRT I AM LIVING!!!!!!!!!! ”

“ Size of a cow, the speed of a cheetah. ”

“ NEWS OUTLETS NEED TO STOP ASKING UNINVITED PEOPLE TO COME TO MY HOUSE. ”

“ This is what plays in my head when I'm Head Empty No Thoughts. ”

“ ... Okay. Exception made, but only specifically for roasting those overrated turkeys. ”

“ THIS IS IT. THIS IS THE DAY I'VE AWAITED FOR. ”

“ THE APOTHEOSIS IS UPON US! ”

“ The wives that stay together commit war crimes together. ”

“ They tell time, they tell temperature, isn’t there anything a cat can’t tell you! ”

“ THE SHRIMP ARE FIGHTINGGGG. ”

“ Today is the day he officially babied for the first time. ”

“ I HAVE COME TO PROTECT MY WIFE. ”

“ Oops I've accidentally created a murderer. ”

“ You're all dying??? Can't relate. ”

“ Sometimes all you need to make a friend, is to devour their corpse. ”

“ I mean I was talking about her big mommy milkers, but I also wanted to leave my words up to interpretation. ”

“ If your coven gathering doesn't include some dick jokes, what's the actual point? ”

“ I’m legally not allowed to kill, or have anyone die for me. ”

“ YOU CANNOT CLEAVER YOUR WAY OUT OF DOUBLE STANDARDS! ”

“ Get back here!!! We've got a BURGEONING FRIENDSHIP now, so that means you also get the aggressive self care spiel! ”

“ To no one's surprise, it was indeed, more gay shit. ”

“ [NAME] absolutely could become Sonic the Hedgehog if he had the means, and thus must never be allowed to do so. ”

“ THE WRITERS HAD A LITTLE TOO MUCH FUN WITH THIS SEASON - GIVE ME A BREAK. ”

“ I want to get into a gunfight on top of an elephant. ”

“ You know you want to get into an elephant-based gunfight! ”

“ If only [NAME] had the attention span to assist in scientific exploits instead of just like. Punching people. ”

“ Which god is the one punching my death member's club card? I wanna make sure I get that free sundae after 7 punches. ”

“ EVERYONE WILL APPRECIATE THE WALL BC ITS A GOOD DAMN WALL. ”

“ PLEASE GIVE US THE REVERSE MONSTERFUCKING WE ALL DESIRE. ”

“ Okay, I know you're right, let me have my dignity. ”

“ She can have a little licky. A little taste. As a treat. ”

“ I MEAN THERE WAS TONGUE. JUST NOT. IN THE WAY YOU'D THINK. ”

“ When will I get devoted worshippers? ”

“ I mean, they COULD, but then we wouldn't have Delicious Fanfiction Tropes. ”

“ Which level is Dante Alighieri in? I wanna punch him in the schnozz. ”

“ Gender? Never met 'em. ”

“ Wasabioli wasabioli give me the formuoli. ”

“ Don't ‘de-flesh’ my bones. ”

“ Would it be better if I fleshed your bones then? ” “ Yes. Give me more of that good bone flesh. ”

“ I inject you with more of the bone juice. ”

“ WHY ARE THE GODZILLA PEOPLE STALKING ME? ”

“ BECOME ONE WITH THE WORMS. ”

“ Oh, I'm a self-made sauce type. ”

“ Stop using chairs in unstable ways! ”

“ I’m travel size for convenience, and that convenience is crimes. ”

“ The mountains are proud and dependable, unlike us airsick lowlanders. ”

“ THE MOUNTAINS ARE GASLIGHTING YOU. ”

“ WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS YUNS? ”

“ Ny’all is the one true contraction. ”

“ Y'all are both cursed to me. I've never heard nor read these words in my life. ”

“ Not the false prophets again. ”

“ The thigh is blessed. ”

“ I've seen him at practice, and I can assure you he has an ass. ”

“ I will put anything and everything I want onto my pizza as I please, including you. ”

“ Bone apple tea. ”

“ I progressed the regress. ”

“ Cult of the new moon gender! ”

“ I wish to be a unit of measurement. ”

“ Wh... How many hands does [NAME] HAVE?? ”

“ Which has absolutely nothing to do with Mothman. ”

“ That’s right: the robot wife was me all along! ”

[littlesparklight]

Ok so I found this after searching up the simple question “was Helen prettier than Ganymede?” Since I was genuinely wondering what google would answer me with and I stumbled upon this 12th century poem: https://www.greek-love.com/poetry/the-debate-of-ganymede-and-helen

And honestly, it’s kind of surreal how I’ve never heard any mention of this old poem when I read on either Ganymede or Helen. I was wondering what your takeaway or reaction to this may be lmao. Also if you have an answer to the question I had I’d love to hear your thoughts

I mean, I'd honestly rather talk about "who is prettier" than that poem which is both misogynistic and homophobic (setting aside the real-life age bracket involved, it IS arguing against any m/m attraction and sex in general).

For the original question... yes, and no.

I don't think you can compare when they're not both women or not both men. The point should probably be that whatever you're into, you won't be able to deny that they're BOTH at the very least aesthetically the most beautiful things born.

Like, on the one hand Ganymede gets taken to Olympus and given his position purely on the grace of his beauty; to make this clearer, there are no ways to tell that the earliest version of Ganymede's abduction had anything to do with sexual attraction. In fact, it's ALL the gods who agree/act in concert to kidnap Ganymede and basically present him to Zeus as a "here, he deserves a spot up here". I think Ganymede has both been described as the most beautiful mortal born and the most beautiful [mortal] man born, depending on translation/text, so I guess that gives him a leg up.

On the other hand it's kind of hard to say if Helen would get apotheosis (as she sometimes does) for who she is - that is, daughter of Zeus - or on the grace of how she looks like, so the situations aren't exactly comparable. Not all of the demigod children of Zeus who gain apotheosis have to do it via proving themselves - Helen's brother/s don't. Of course you could easily say Helen gets apotheosis as much for who she is as because of her beauty, as it's proof positive of her "worthiness".

I'd probably default to "they're equally so, just in slightly different ways". Put them next to each other and no one's going to get anything done, basically.

[crystalelemental]

Common Grid Analysis - Siebold, Bruno, and Grant

Common grids are out, and it's all male this time!  I...I guess that's fair.  Another time then, Winona.  But hey, we got two Kalos, so the dream of multiple Hoenn at once isn't dead.

Let's start with Siebold, as the EX recipient.  He comes in with X Sp Atk, and a trainer move that heals a bit and gives guaranteed crit next, but absolutely zero move damage potential, so that seems like a sync nuker setup to me.  He got Double Down 5 and Brain Sync 5 for sync damage.  He got Raging Rain for moves which is garbage because his moves have like 50 base power.  Water Pulse got Aggravation which is okay, and Aura Sphere got MGR9 which is funny. He got super preparation on his trainer move, but only 4 so 50/50, and it's...fine? I don't care much about it, I think Super Preparation 4 is often not worth it because you burn turns fishing for it or just didn't get it at all.  So uh...yeah, he's...he's not very good.  Cool.  I guess.  2/3 on the EX choice being kinda bad.

Bruno! The muscle man who I've decided should've been on the Palentine's event because he also likes sweets and is a muscle man who also could’ve been designated Johto.  He comes in pretty good, with Crit Strike 2 as a natural passive, and the ability to self-buff crit and attack, as well as special defense. Also Cross Chop is respectable damage despite being inaccurate, and is guaranteed crit at +3 crit buff.  He got Amped Up 2, which increases speed by 2 when he lands a crit; fantastic for team support.  Another Crit Strike 2, very nice. Pinpoint Entry is very nice, makes his attacks much more consistent.  Another useless Super Prep.  Double Down 5 for sync, and Smart Cookie on Cross Chop.  That's not bad.  And to my absolute fucking amazement, he gets Crit Strike 2, Amped Up 2, Pinpoint Entry, Trainer Move MPR, AND Smart Cookie...in one grid.  He doesn't lose anything.   Very impressive, very efficient.

Grant comes in with fuckall.  X Sp Def, and an accuracy buff that slightly charges move gauge, good job buddy.  Let's start with what's nice: Trip Up 6 on Rock Tomb means a 70% chance for a double drop to speed.   Cakewalk is a great multiplier with that in effect.  First Aid 4...exists.  He gets healing and faster move gauge in hail, or stats can't be lowered in sandstorm, which are...okay.  Double Down 2 and Weather Sync 5 are other multipliers, with Weather Surge for basic move damage but don't it's not good.  He can get Cakewalk, Trip Up, and Weather Sync 5 in one grid, alongside both sync powerup nodes, but he didn't get the EX so he'll be like okay but not great.  Going for weather does mean his team comps are a bit iffy, but he does play particularly well with Ingo and Palentine Bea, though if going with Bea, you need someone buffing his crit and that's a big job.  He's got some okay tools, but nothing too interesting.

So yeah, I dunno.  Bruno's the clear winner, can't say I'm upset about it. But this batch feels much less interesting and much less hype than last month's, where we got Gardenia with some fascinating tech, and Cheryl's apotheosis as a common support.  Even the first month had more interesting options going on, like Candice with the huge sync nuke, or Sophocles getting a cool sync nuke that feels way more aligned than Grant's.  It's a fine but kinda forgettable month of common upgrades.

Still no Caitlin, Fantina, or Kris EX...

[patrocles]

It's rare that fan theories hit every point and get it 100%. I think there's gonna be something that's unexpected in the main theory circles. If you had to write a huge event in TWOW or the last book, akin to the red wedding, something that will affect every character and shock the readers and go against the main theories, what would you write?

man i really just have NO idea??? maybe it’s because i’ve got 10 years of asoiaf theory brain rot but i really can’t think of anything else after eurons apotheosis or the new long night that would be on par with something like the red wedding (in terms of like singular events)

but like its HARD because euron’s blood ritual apocalypse is gonna be extremely intense and scary and the coming of the Others has been in the works for 5 books so it’s not going to be wholly unexpected as the red wedding. or like, as culturally truamatic?? what really makes the RW so impactful is that it affected everyone and continues to have so much lasting affect.

i think the only thing that can be comparible in terms of lasting impact would be if cersei does burn down the sept of baelor. cus the fall out of the tyrells being killed as well as it being a terrorist attack on the faith of the seven… yeah the ramifications of that wont be so easily swept under the rug. it could absolutely push the country back into civil war which would time up perfectly with aegon already in the neighborhood and dang about to make an appearance shortly.

but again i dont think it would be totally unexpected since all signs are currently pointing to cersei losing her fucking mind and doing something drastic like burning down half of KL.

in terms of something totally gratitious and personally self gratifying that i personally want to happen??? a giant frey massacre !! i think theres a bunch of weddings that are supposed to happen so i would like them to all end Very Badly :)