#I know how it’s gonna go but idc I’ll keep loving him anyway | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

whyse7vn · 1 year

Text

I AM NOT UR GF -

[ ot7 x reader ]

SEOKJIN -

y/n: i’ll kill you

jin: i’m into that

y/n: ur going to hell

jin: i’ll take you with me

y/n: i’m going to heaven i’m an angel

jin: my angel

y/n: gross

jin: only for you

y/n: we are not together

jin: ???

sorry i can’t read

y/n: clearly

jin: take ur clothes off

y/n: ???

jin: sorry autocorrect

y/n: why did you tell the boys we are dating?

jin: i did?

lmao yeah i did

sorry i could never lie to the loml like that

y/n: what?

jin: ur on my will

y/n: happy one day to us 🥂❤️

jin: i like being used

y/n: yk what i’m having second thoughts

jin: as long as it’s you using me

y/n: uncomfortable rn

jin: i’ll make you comfortable

y/n: ur the cause

jin: ur my cause ❤️

y/n: what does that even mean??

jin: kiss me

y/n: leave me alone i’m tired

jin: i’ll build you a bed

y/n: what

jin: i cook

y/n: ur like 62

jin: age is a construct

y/n: ur gonna get arrested with a mindset like that

jin: would go to jail 10x over for you

y/n: out of context this looks insane

jin: you make me insane

and keep me sane ❤️

y/n: what

are you drunk?

jin: a bit

y/n: yikes

jin: my hips work

y/n: i would hope so?

jin: use me

y/n: you need to be put down immediately

JIMIN -

y/n: ummmmm?????

jimin: ummmmm?????

y/n: i am not ur gf

jimin: ummmmm?????

y/n: why are you telling people i’m ur gf

jimin: ummmmm?????

y/n: ummmmm?????

jimin: i thought it was time to tell people

y/n: tell people lies???

jimin: we are always together anyways i am doing us a favour tbh

y/n: “am” so ur still actively telling people that we are together?

jimin: ur so smart this is why i love you 😘

y/n: so were you in love with me when you flirted with the waitress right in front of me when we went out YESTERDAY?

jimin: why were you jealous?? 😏

y/n: ur actually insane like clinically insane

jimin: it was a moment of weakness babe 🥺

y/n: moment of weakness??

you have like 20 of those a day

jimin: omg i’m just a natural flirt yk i can’t help it 😞

y/n: i think the word ur looking for is whore?

jimin: I AM NOT A WHORE

y/n: yeah ok

jimin: unless you want me to be a whore then i’m the biggest whore you know honestly and truly!!!!!!

y/n: ur gross

jimin: ofc i’ll marry you!

y/n: ???

jimin: wow i’m so emotional rn

i love you i’m so excited for our future

i know some people may say we’re moving to fast but idc the truth is that i’m so in love with you i can hardly breathe!!!

y/n: get actual help.

HOSEOK -

hobi: we

y/n: no

hobi: us

y/n: no

hobi: hands held

y/n: no

hobi: mouth 2 mouth

y/n: still no

hobi: i told my parents about us

y/n: ur mother is gonna beat ur ass for lying

hobi: i told the boys about us

y/n: we are not together

hobi: the company is next

y/n: you won’t live to see another day if you do

hobi: i hope our kids have ur eyes

y/n: i can report you for harassment you know?

hobi: my pretty gf

i love you ^^

y/n: blushed for a second

that’s all you’ll ever get out of me

hobi: ur soosososososo cute

σ(≧ε≦σ) ♡

i’m gonna eat you

y/n: this isn’t right

hobi: this is the rightest thing ever

y/n: go outside or something

hobi: come with me

y/n: there is no hope for the kids these days 😞

JUNGKOOK -

y/n: DO YOU KNOW HOW EMBARRASSING IT IS TO BE FLIRTING WITH THE KIM MINGYU AND FOR HIM TO BE LIKE “ARE YOU NOT DATING JK?”

jk: i’m going to kill myself

y/n: ARE YOU SICK IN THE HEAD IM GOING TO FIND YOU AND KILL YOU

jk: i’m already dead

y/n: GOOD

jk: i can’t believe you talk to other men

oh my god i cjant breathe rn iMmm loosing vision hhe lp mmme…

y/n: IM SO FUCKING EMBARRASSED WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU OH MY GODODJD

jk: so like did you did you tell him we’re together or…

y/n: NO U SICKX SICK FUCK

I TOLD HIM NO IM NOT WITH FUCKING JUNGKOOK ARE YOU OUT OF UR MIND

jk: wow

in all caps like that?? a bit harsh

y/n: FUCK YOU

jk: pls stop shouting yk im a sensitive soul

y/n: WHY DID YOU TELL HIM WE ARE TOGETHER????????

jk: i didn’t tell him directly omg?

i messaged him

y/n: WTF IS UR PROBLEM????

jk: WAIT DID YOU JUST SAY YOU WERE FLIRTING WITH MINGYU?????????????????????

WHAT THE FUCKCKCKDK

y/n: i hate you

i’ve never wanted to push someone out of a building so bad until i met you

jk: that’s kinda cute

you think of me??

i love you too

y/n: you have 3 days to live

jk: as long as i’m with you nothing can take me out

y/n: shut the fuck up

yk know whose taking me out tho?

mingyu 🥰

jk: what

y/n: ?

jk: i have dispatch on the phone rn

y/n: tell them

being mingyu’s gf publicly? a dream come true tbh 😍

jk: when ur new bf is kicked out his group becomes broke and is living on the streets i’m sure ur dream will be alive and well

y/n: oh it will

with my baby through thick and thin 🤞🏽

jk: i’m going to kill myself

y/n: idc!

jk: i love you

TAEHYUNG -

y/n: stop telling people we are dating i will block you

tae: did you know i need u girl was about you

y/n: didn’t even know you then

tae: i’ve always known you

y/n: creepy as hell

tae: to some

y/n: to all

tae: why don’t you want me

y/n: ur not mark lee

tae: i’m kim taehyung

y/n: exactly

tae: you could get jumped for saying stuff like that these days

y/n: oh well

it was worth it

tae: i wish you knew

i wish you knew i wanted you

y/n: i know

and you got the lyrics completely wrong

tae: my lyrics may be wrong but my feelings for you aren’t

y/n: are you not with jennie?

tae: stfu?

y/n: loser

tae: she’s not my type

you are 😘

y/n: wishing i was jennie hours 😞🙏🏽

tae: you’ll will literally never be happy without me

y/n: that’s so crazy cuz i’m like over the moon rn

tae: that’s because i’m messaging you

y/n: pretty sure it’s because i’m not with you but whatever helps you sleep at night

tae: you help me sleep at night

y/n: tough

tae: :(

YOONGI -

y/n: i’m ur girlfriend now?

yoongi: what?

y/n: you’re telling people i’m your girlfriend?

yoongi: might be true might be false

y/n: kinda crazy

yoongi: do you not want to me my girlfriend?

y/n: no?

yoongi: 😢

y/n: cry me a river

yoongi: i will

then i’ll drown myself in it

y/n: dramatic much?

yoongi: i just got my heart broken can you have someone sympathy

y/n: L

yoongi: maybe like kiss me on the lips or something and i’ll be better idk tho

y/n: is min yoongi being open and honest with me rn???

times have changed i must say

yoongi: having a gf does that to a man

y/n: really?

yoongi: yep being in love is crazy

y/n: love? so it’s pretty serious between you two then?

yoongi: yeah i’m gonna marry her

y/n: wowwww how long have you guys been together then?

yoongi: 3 years in my head but i only started telling people 3 days ago

y/n: you are not right in the head

yoongi: love is crazy

y/n: i think it’s just you fr

yoongi: 🥲

NAMJOON -

y/n: DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

namjoon: hi

y/n: shut ur mouth

namjoon: 🤐

y/n: we are NOT together

together

do you understand?

namjoon: 🚫❌⁉️

y/n: well start understanding

namjoon: 🙅🏻‍♂️🚫

y/n: i’m sick and tired of you

namjoon: 🙎🏽‍♀️➡️👨‍⚕️🏥

y/n: bye

namjoon: 🥺

y/n: what is with ur obsession with me???

are you that bitchless omg??

namjoon: logically speaking

y/n: you have never spoke a logical word in your life

namjoon: okay nvm

y/n: namjoon you are down ridiculously bad at first it was cute i WAS blushing and giggling now i’m just concerned

namjoon: date me

y/n: that is NOT how you ask a girl out

namjoon: help me out here

y/n: i will not help you in the slightest

namjoon: that’s just mean

y/n: ur a freak

namjoon: am not

y/n: you so are

namjoon: go on a date with me

y/n: where is the the question mark?? are you asking me or telling me??

namjoon: ur being ridiculous

go on a date with me?

there

y/n: hehehehehhehehehe

okay!!!

namjoon: FR??

y/n: no lol

namjoon: that was so mean

y/n: :p

namjoon: dating me would probably mean free food for life

y/n: probably or definitely?

namjoon: *definitely

y/n: wait i’m kinda in love with you

namjoon: lol me 2 let’s makeout rn

y/n: i lied

namjoon: ur annoying

y/n: mwah

namjoon: did you just kiss me?

are you deeply attracted to me or something?

kinda cringe kinda hot i want you

y/n: didn’t know 2:25 am were your disgustingly desperate hours

namjoon: it’s not my fault it’s 2:25 in the morning and all i can think about is you

should i write i song about you?

would you be my gf then?

y/n: pls don’t

namjoon: it’s too late

y/n: if i go on a date with you will you shut the hell up and go to sleep

namjoon: YES

YESZYSS YES YES YES YES YESH

YESSYESYSYSYYDYD

yes

i might lol

y/n: see you tomorrow

namjoon: gn

y/n: gn

namjoon: gf 🤭

we hit 200 since when omg?? anyways feeling like i should do a “i’m not ur bf” ver but idk yet thoughts? u might get it next year or never but it’s the fact that i thought about writing it that counts!!

526 notes · View notes

pwacifistxo · 9 months

Text

౨ৎ⋆˚｡⋆— “Oᕼ GOᗪ, ᑕᗩᑎ YOᑌ ᗰᗩKE ᗰY ᕼEᗩᖇT ᔕTOᑭ?” 𖦹. ⊹ ࣪ ˖ — “Hιƚ ɱҽ ɯιƚԋ ყσυɾ ƙιʅʅ ʂԋσƚ ႦαႦყ!” ✮ — Bonten!Sanzu Haruchiyo → Tokyo revengers f!reader. ❦.

༘⋆ Headcannons and imagines.

⋆ just some drabbles

tw: NSFW, a little dark, squirting, oral receiving and giving, faceriding mentioned, swearing, toxic relationship mentioned. Very out of pocket things.

✧ — SFW

The Sanzu Haruchiyo as your boyfriend huh? Shit then you in for a ride. He’s so unhinged it’s scary.

To start of, he’s definitely not the best boyfriend and honestly he could’ve never imagined getting with you in the first place. This man has priorities. Such as doing drugs and acting like a wild dog. He is toxic asf.

He needs to be put on a leash idc. Sometimes you’ve got to put ur man in his place when he acts up and gets all moody and mean. Watch your mouth though.

If you’re a shy person or introverted. You’re gonna struggle a lot in this relationship, he’s loud and rude and doesn’t have any shame for it.

He is not the same as how he was in Toman where he was calm and quiet, he will humiliate you, tease you every chance he gets.

You do some embarrassing shit? Expect him to bring it up another 3 weeks later after you begged him not to mention it. Then he’ll probably say something like “awh dont cry love, y’know I’ll make up for it.”

He doesn’t lie when he says that, he will make up for it just in his own sanzu way. (fucking is the solution.)

he can be draining at times, he will randomly abandon you completely and then come back on an average day. (Usually when your in a better mood)

Don’t break his trust ever, like ever. It already took him ages to warm up to you so he’s gambling on that.

Or you’ll just end up dead and he will too. (actually it depends)

However Sanzu is very loyal, like so loyal he would not even think about cheating a day in his life as every Tr fan knows so that’s a very good and important trait of his. <3

He’s overprotective, the thing that I mentioned before about him humiliating you? Yeah only he can do that dont be surprised if he whips out the katana when any other person does no matter who it is male or female.

He spoils you. If you look at something with interest, sanzu will go through hell and back to get that for you. He’s rich anyways, so why not use it on his girl? (the bold writing is his thoughts)

He adores your gifts too, no matter what it is it could be a plushie or any childish thing and he will squeal, giggle like a high school girl and run off with it.

He keeps it with him forever and ever. Imagine giving him a small flower you got of the ground. A year later you found out he kept that flower until it rotted and disintegrated.

He loves loves loves!!! PDA i mean, what’s the big deal on having your hands all over your girl? Yeah he just loves you and touching you.

Sanzu likes kissing your lips, jaw and neck and your mouth corners. (he usually kisses you there when you kiss his scars; please kiss his scars)

Surprisingly though he prefers holding hands over hugging. Don’t get me wrong he loves hugging you aswell but he thinks it’s more logical to hold your hand since it’s useful in a lot of situations.

Earlier i was speaking of children. He hates children and screams or barks at them in the streets for the fun of it and also chases them. That’s why you’ve got to put him on a leash and walk him like a dog.

He would choose bonten over you any day. His life is dedicated to the criminal organisation and he’d probably give you a dirty look if you ever tried to suggest him leaving because it’s too “dangerous”

“you knew exactly what you were getting into when you met me, darlin’” — infamous words from Sanzu himself.

Unless you’ve been there for him since day 1 then it’s a different story, including if he would die for you. lol either way you can’t leave him if you try, your stuck together like glue literally.

Sanzu would never force drugs onto you, he’s fully aware of the dangers as an addict and he isn’t fucking stupid. In fact he would distance you from it.

He can be really clingy, Sanzu will cling onto your arm and trail behind you wherever you’re going like a lost puppy.

Or for example imagine watching a movie or your sitting down somewhere together/in a bonten meeting. Then you get up planning to leave he instantly gets up when you do and murmurs. “where you goin? Leavin me?” You’re probably just going to the bathroom aswell. Then when you sit back down, he sits back down too. It’s a cute habit of his. <3

He can cook, he makes stuff for you when he feels like it. Usually it’s when he’s higher than the clouds and denies it.

✧ — NSFW

Sanzu nsfw? This guy is freaky as fuck dont expect some wild shit to come up on here once again. TW

Oral, receiving or giving he doesn’t mind but he likes giving you pleasure just a little bit more cause he gets high of seeing you loose control like that. “shit— say my name like that.. please, please.. fuck ur so beautiful”

He gets down on you regularly especially if you’re stressed, he’ll let you release that stuff anytime anywhere.

Imagine: His half-lidded eyes flickered up to your figure watching your expression as he slowly trailed circles with his tongue on your puffy clit. Before diving straight lapping at your juices and bringing your pussy lips in between his teeth when you squirmed he was already laughing, amused at your reaction. ‪‪”let it out, fucking scream until you lose your voice.” ❤︎‬

Once he does get his face in between your legs, he’s going wild with it. Spitting, slapping, biting whatever this man can come up with will happen.

Imagine: “such a greedy girl, wanting more than she can handle huh?” He giggled like a crazed person his eyes widening in the process. Without further ado he pulled back spitting straight at your aching core watching as his own saliva trailed down in between your slit, his pupils following like a kitten chasing after a teaser toy. ‪‪❤︎‬

Sanzu torments you a lot. Sometimes he just wants to see you in pain, he loves that look on your face overwhelmed by sexual frustration as his fingers raise up and slaps ur throbbing pussy over and over again until you came.

Imagine: Smack! His slender digits landed on your aching core when you didn’t speak making you whine and arch your back. “cum then, all over my fingers don’t hold back, love.” Smack! “fuck—“ smack! “Haru!“ smack! “Try again doll!” Smack! Smack! Smack! ‪‪❤︎‬

When you give him head? Shit he swore he was on the moon at this point. His hand gripping your hair as he threw his head back, beads of sweat trailing down his forehead and moaned shamelessly forcing your mouth to take more of him, more!

Sanzu is really vocal, he just doesn’t care in general. If he feels good he wants you to know in every humanly way possible.

He can be a bit mean with it though. Every day isn’t the same he will switch up from time to time. Sanzu is just a really unexpected person.

Imagine: His tinted lips curled into a sadistic smile while you draw kitten licks just on the tip of his dick, he move your head forward slowly observing as your tongue curved around him. You seemed to be enjoying this hm— that can’t happen. He shoved his thick cock deeper into your mouth without warning, watching as you gagged your eyes watering and saliva trailing down your mouth. ❤︎‬

He loves stuffing you up with his digits whenever possible, he likes it because he can practically do it anywhere. Under a table, in his car while driving with one hand, in any meetings if you ever decide to visit. 1 finger, then 2 then three, shit he might just shove his whole hand in there (fisting). Semi-public sex is something he doesn’t mind doing

imagine: Sanzu eyed you as he was slumped back on the chair slouching a bit, scoffing each time rindou mentioned another ‘traitor’ in the gang during the meeting. He was so wearied of the same shit happening all the time. The only thing he could focus on was his two fingers that were buried deep in your soaking pussy, feeling your gummy walls tighten around him. He curled them slightly noticing you wriggle his piercing dull-blue eyes staring at you with that same smug expression before leaning closer his breath tickling the sensitive spot beneath ur ear. “your a fuckin’ waterfall sweetheart, go on then. Fuck yourself on my fingers.. hm?” ❤︎‬

Sanzu is such a hater, to put it simple he does not like seeing you happy sometimes and just wants to ruin it. Especially during sex. Everything could be normal, he’s fucking you until you’re dizzy, pampering your body with light kisses. He’ll then take advantage of you in that state, pulling a knife out of his waistband of his pants and drives the blunt edge onto your body.

Dont be suprised if he switches the knifes placing and cuts a long streak on your arm and his own, the stinging pain puts him in a frenzy. Watching as the blood oozes out of your delicate skin and trails downwards, he smudges it away after a while of him being put into a trance at the sight, before smearing it all over your face and digging his nails harshly into your cheekbones leaving red nasty marks. He’ll even poke the pointy bit dangerously close to your inner thigh.

When he gets like this it can be a little fucking terrifying because he is a sadist, like I said this is bonten Sanzu we are talking about.

Most of the time he’ll ask for you consent though, if you ever let him hurt you he would. He loves you so much it actually makes him want to rip you apart sometimes. You can tell by the way he stares at you, even when your sleeping peacefully.

Sanzu is a professional dirty talker, some of the shit he says are so wild that you randomly thing about it in the middle of the night and wonder how you let that slide.

Definitely into cockwarming, the idea of having his dick tucked away in your tight walls. He gets soso hard just at the thought. However he cannot last forever, Sanzu will end up thrusting upwards causing lewd sounds to escape those pretty lips of yours.

He loves every single position, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, having you bent over, missionary (while having your legs on his shoulders) and face down, ass up, as long as your satisfied and he’s satisfied it doesn’t matter.

He might just make you ride him when he’s already fucked you out. Without helping of course, if you do manage to keep up dont expect a praise either. “Ah— you actually did it? Too bad nono praise from me.” and then he kisses you and clings to you the whole day

This man is so unserious during sex, not like making a joke every second but he’ll just laugh at you and bully you on occasions. However it’s really rare for him to be serious throughout the entire thing but when it does happen it does not disappoint.

Whenever he comes back from a long day of bonten, he might spread ur legs apart and fuck u with his black glock pointed at the very middle of your head, no safety to be found. He gaslights you into believing that if you keep moving around he’ll pull the trigger and let your body decay by itself. Then the crybaby tears come, he loves that.

If you do too him because he’s a switch. Please cause this man pain, he’s a masochist as well and if the pain comes for you then he’s down for it. He’ll give you full permission.

Sanzu adores making you squirt, for some reason he gets excited when you do. His face lighting up as he feels the liquid spray over his face. Will proceed to overstimulate you after.

Face-riding is his shit, having your dripping clit on his face? He is devouring it like a starved animal. He would suffocate himself. “mmm— going to drown me huh?” He mumbled in between slurps, his voice muffled

Aftercare is chill, he actually loves you even though he’s a sick fuck. He’ll cook with you, bathe with you but that’s only usually. Sanzu normally would either fall asleep like a baby with one arm slinging over your waist or you guys would just chill and vibe. He gives you a lotta love too.

꒰ა❤︎໒꒱ — ˗ˋˏ sanzu is genuinely so beautiful. ˎˊ˗

༘⋆ be nice tumblr and don’t delete this. Happy new years!!<3

#sanzu #sanzu haruchiyo #tokyo rev x reader #anime #bonten #reader #tokyo revengers #y/n

70 notes · View notes

callsign-rogueone · 4 months

Note

My lovely sweet pie, ( the nicknames 💀😵‍💫 ) how are you doing?

I haven't really slept lately and my minds in overdrive, so that means Bren is also in my mind in overdrive hehe. Any sorrengail really, as I've noticed lately. ( I have issues)

If you have anything for it yet would you mind giving a sneak peak about Bren and duchess with Lilith sorrengail, I can't help but be so curious im sorry. ( If you have nothing or don't want to, it's fine. I know that I ask a lot of sneak peaks and I don't want to pressure you)

Also I know you've been working on it for a while, but I'm excited to see what you have in store for Aaric! I don't remember him popping up "all that often" in iron flame but I only re read what stuck to me. the only thing I remember was Lilith seeing him at the end and saying "you're father's been looking for you" and him saying he's a rider and she just responds with "idc" hehe. Its one of the few things that stood out to me of him. Well expect the kind of heist and Xaden showed no empathy that he killed his brother, (as he should have otherwise I wouldn't have my Garrick ) I don't care necessarily either but yk xadens bluntbess 😅 anyway I'm very curious, I wouldn't have an idea for a story to come up with him but I know your gonna make it amazing.

Well another short ask that ended in a long rant, sorry 💀❤️

hi my love 🥰 I’m good but tired. moving sucks (and it’s not even me moving lmao, it’s my relatives)

Aaric and Sunny are rotting my brain right now (and Sawyer and Peach. and Dain and Love. more of all three of those should be happening soon!) and we might get some of Aaric’s brother at some point in the gf chapters hehe

some Aaric and Sunny (it was so hard to find bits that don’t spoil anything…)

No, he decides, this is better. This feels right, seeing you in the slick black of the rider’s quadrant instead of yards of stiff brocade, being able to hear you laugh and sing and joke like this rather than sitting quietly for the rest of your days like an ornamental vase.

His back hitting the floor snaps him out of his daydream, and knocks the breath from his lungs.

and I’ve already spoiled this part for you guys a while ago so here’s more of that:

You yank your arm away, clearly done with the conversation. “Don’t worry that precious head of yours, my prince,” you condescend. “I’ll keep your secret. Consider it payment for helping me. We’re square now, so you can go about your life and I’ll go about mine.”

Duchess and Lilith — we’re going off-script with this one lol. + it’s gonna be a while, since I want to post all the “end of Iron Flame” gf chapters around the same time and intertwine them a bit. again very difficult to find lines that weren’t spoilers 😅

You lower your head to your mother-in-law in respect, one arm still around Brennan, who has stiffened at the sight of her. “Thank you,” you say quietly.

#liz.txt #answered #aura 🧡#sneak peeks

10 notes · View notes

evereverest2 · 19 days

Text

this post is directed at @sentientgolfball and golfball only bc it was too long to put in a text

if that doesn’t deter u just know ur about to be super confused unless ur golfball

IDC IF U DONT VIBE TO HURT BY JOHNNY CASH IM TELLING YOU ITS ABEL AND HERES WHY:

1) johnny cash is a cowboy and so is abel it’s perfect that’s it

2) ok im gonna break down each fucking lyric

“I hurt myself today / To see if I still feel / I focus on the pain / The only thing that's real”

ok these are just the first lyrics but let me paint u a picture. imagine those centuries between anson and abel broke up and got back together, those tumultuous ~500 years. abel’s father is more than dead, he probably doesn’t have many friends, and even if he does he lives in orc town and orcs have a short lifespan. abel is immortal and he is lonely.

“The needle tears a hole / The old familiar sting / Try to kill it all away / But I remember everything”

dw the lyrics will get stronger but for now imagine instead of this “hurt” cash is putting on himself it’s abel “relapsing” by killing somebody. imagine he grows weak and just desires one comfort in his island of loneliness

“What have I become? / My sweetest friend / Everyone I know goes away / In the end”

what has he become in this period of lonelieness? a shell of that adventuring cowboy who saved the world with his bf, his bf, the god of love, who taught him what love meant. but he went away, and everyone died except him. in the end, everyone leaves.

“And you could have it all / My empire of dirt / I will let you down / I will make you hurt”

abel has nothing, just himself. his empire of dirt refers to having nothing truly valuable. i think i can see abel saying “i will make you hurt” as an admission of his weakness to his vampire half, that anyone he befriend will not only die anyway, but runs the risk of being killed by him if he gets too weak.

“I wear this crown of thorns / Upon my liar's chair / Full of broken thoughts / I cannot repair”

now i imagine that this isn’t HIS crown of thorns, but anson’s. imagine it’s something he once owned, a relic. these next few stanzas i like to imagine abel wandering an abandoned church of Anmori, looking at the idolatrine. his liar’s chair is anson’s, bc anson promised to be with him forever.

“Beneath the stains of time / The feelings disappear / You are someone else / I'm still right here”

oh my god bro. come on. YOU ARE SOMEONE ELSE, I AM STILL RIGHT HERE. anson is a GOD, doing his best for his people, and abel has no where else to go. god.

then there’s the chorus again and then

“If I could start again / A million miles away / I would keep myself / I would find a way”

i’ll let u interpret this one. what would abel do differently if he could?

ugh them bro them do yoU EVER THINK ABOUT THEM?? HOW ANGSTY THEY ARE??? BEFORE THEY MAKE EACH OTHER HAPPY AGAIN????

#Spotify

5 notes · View notes

redactedwriting · 28 days

Note

first time with aws question mark?

-🦝

hehehe. hiii. yeah <3

i’m going to be so for real when i say this. aws had real sex the first time during entertainment. walk with me.

yes he had relationships that had sex involved before ent, and maybe he even did some of the fucking, but it was just that-fucking. and maybe it was just because they wanted him to. i rly like the idea of him doing handjobs and oral and stuff but not penetrative until ent and idk why. it’s just making sense to me.

anyway. i rly write fandom era. but we needed lore

you and aws are together and you’ve told him about your virginity and he’s like yeah cool that’s fine idc. which is really nice because most dudes in la will either make a kink of it or make fun of you! and that’s not your cup of tea! aws is one of the first who doesn’t act weird with it!

one day you’re at his place, hanging out before a cute date night with dinner and a movie in his apartment <3 it evolves from cute kissing cuddling to moving to the bedroom, and him laying you out on his bigass bed. hes sitting on your thighs, hands up playing with your hair.

“we don’t have to do anything if-“

“no. want it…want you to fuck me…?”

it knocks the breath out of him but he’s smiling so fondly, nodding, leaning down to kiss you.

“yeah. yeah, okay, i can fuck you. how do you…want me to? i don’t wanna be too much too fast, and i know you’ve never…”

“slow, i think. i’ll tell you. i trust you, quit worrying so much <3”

he shoves you on your back again, playfully, and you hit the mattress with a gasp and a gentle thud. you’d take your shirt off, and he’s in the middle of getting stuck in his hoodie but when it’s off and he sees you topless under him, ough. god he would kiss you silly, slip you tongue and trace his fingers over your body. you guys have done handjobs before but not oral or sex sex, so when he starts kissing down your neck to your chest, you’d gasp pretty and breathless, get a hand in his hair with him holding your wrist.

“tell me what you like…” he’d say, low, his mouth occupied.

“i don’t know…show me…”

and he’d let out a hard breath, suck a hickey to your collarbone.

“you’re gonna fucking kill me if you keep talking like that,” and then “i promise im not making your virginity a kink. you’re just. hot. ignore me, i’m busy,” and he’d go back to making out with your chest :)

mmmmmaybe. maybe he’d slip your pants off and get his mouth on you. he’d pause and look at you, “can i? i wanna taste you so bad,” and when you’d say yes, he’d go down on you. it’s the wildest thing you’ve ever felt, the warmth, the wetness…how he’s groaning at your flavor and licking at you like he’s starved. like he loves you.

and then he’s slipping you fingers, two at once, right off the bat. hes still using his mouth, soothing the intrusion, and you’d notice his fingers are wet and you never heard him reach for lube, let alone get it on his fingers.

but the way he crooks them and sucks on you at the same time sends you out of your mind and rocketing into your body, fluttering around his fingers with a whimper and a tug to his hair. he’d give you another and fuck you with them for a while before he pulls out and replaces them with his dick.

ough he’d make such a pretty blissed out face, pushing in and settling. youre holding his hands and your eyes are squeezed shut, whole body tense until he kisses you again and tells you “breathe, baby”

#ak/yn #first time #fics

3 notes · View notes

imjustabeanie · 7 months

Note

hiii i’m cheri 🏹 from dreamcrush this is gonna be so fun. can i get a matchup for genshin & hsr ?

20, they/he, nonbinary bi (ok with being matched with a guy or a girl), chaotic / true neutral, istj.

appearance: uh like 5’5-5’6, bleached white hair about shoulder length. pale with freckles in summer. i usually wear comfy clothes and dark / more masculine colors (black gray blue green). idc if my partner is taller or shorter than me.

my sense of self is pretty unstable but i’ll try to do my best here. im often praised for my charisma by my friends and my ability to make people like me. i’m really not great at talking to people though it causes me more anxiety than it’s worth usually. but i’m not really the type to get anxious and shrink away from things im moreso the type to make myself bigger to compensate. i’m good at getting along with people but at the same time i don’t really Like people a lot and tend to keep to myself more than anything. i can seem rude or standoffish but i’m just pretty blunt and straightforward about things. i have a tendency to seem more aggressive than i actually intend to be.

i’m not great at opening up about things unless it’s the people i’m closest to, like if i’m dating somebody. i don’t talk to friends about my problems a lot. i’m pretty logical and good at problem solving so a lot of people come to me for advice. i’m two years into studying for a psychology degree. i’m not super ambitious i don’t think and mostly just go with the flow and work to take care of the people i’m closest to.

i’d consider myself a “fixer” type so usually i go for characters or even people irl that struggle with different things, usually feel unloved to some capacity, because i want to show them love and care that they probably haven’t had before and make things better for them. i care about the people i love more than absolutely anything.

usually i go for girls that are cute and kind of anxious because i like taking care of people and making them feel safe. for guys i either like sweet “boy nextdoor” types or guys who are like . really messed in the head that i can take care of and be that special someone to them.

i hope this is ok i’ve never done this before !!!! you can message me if you had other questions or if i messed up on anything @heartsona

Your Genshin match is....Furina!

First of all, she's your type. She's nervous, she's cute, she's unstable and she needs help. When she falls she falls hard and does her best to make herself look worthy. That's why someone like you, who'd reassure her and show her real love would be so fitting.

Furina isn't easy to read. Just like you she doesn't open up easily. There's a high chance you'll open up before her! She likes how logical you are as you help her keep her head on her shoulders. She knows she can count on you and it makes her feel so happy to finally have a rock to rely on during her hardships. When you finally talk about your own problems she'd be so happy as it's a big step for you. She may not give the best solutions but she's the best support you could ask for.

Your couple is a rather cute one. Here you have one that's as cool as a cucumber and then the short one that's basically a ticking bomb with many layers. Seems dysfunctional but it actually works very well. Furina likes exploring Fontaine with you and doing all the things she couldn't do while she was an archon. You two are gonna have a lot of fun and just as she'd learn to heal you'll learn to love.

Your HSR match is....Blade!

The embodiment of honey I'm back from the psych ward. You really like your degree don't you? Do you like math? They also have a lot of problems...Anyways back to the main topic I choose Blade because he is your type. But also a real challenge cuz he wants to stay messed up.

Blade is difficult as he doesn't really strive to better himself. You'd have to leggit fistfight him for it. But once he finds someone he wants to settle with he'd calm down and accept to get some help. You'd be the only person he'll confide in so I hope you're ready.

Despite all of this, Blade does his best to be a loving boyfriend. He'd express it through actions like remembering your favorite things and being your personal bodyguard. He's always here to listen but he's not that good at comforting. It's a rather new situation for it and he feels guilty that you got a cursed being like him....yeah I hope you're a good fixer.

#matchups #match ups #genshin impact #honkai star rail

1 note · View note

punkscowardschampions · 1 year

Text

Grace, Nancy, Teddy & Gia Pt.1

Nancy: Safe travels, my lovely

Nancy: I totally understand why you didn’t want to stay until tonight, even though I’m gutted to see you go, obvs 🤍🤍🤍

Grace: ☁️🛫🤞🏽🤍🙏🏽🤍🛬☁️

Grace: you’re THE BEST for understanding TYSM & I’m SO sorry AGAIN!!

Nancy: No, don’t be silly, it’s happened to us all at one point or another

Nancy: And I looked at his socials, he didn’t post anything about you, so, that’s a positive

Grace: oh GOD why is it ALWAYS me though??! 😭😭

Grace: girl, I told you, he’s an 😇

Grace: 💔💔💔 FML

Nancy: I don’t even UNDERSTAND how you got quite that drunk… like, you were REALLY hammered

Nancy: You must’ve had more than you remember, it doesn’t make ANY sense otherwise

Grace: idk idk 💀 what I DO remember is so so bad it’ll literally haunt me forever 😳😬

Nancy: If he’s such a 😇

Nancy: like… why did we end up here? I’m trying to understand your thought process

Grace: it’s COS he is, I know that doesn’t make sense…

Nancy: Because you didn’t feel good enough

Grace: 👌🏽 maybe it makes total sense, cos yeah

Nancy: Babe 🥺😭😭

Nancy: but you only ended up acting like 1000% worse than you actually are because of that 💭

Grace: 😭😭😭😭

Grace: I spiralled, I’m SUCH an idiot

Nancy: Look, he probably ended up as drunk as you when he went to the club after, he won’t remember [whatever embarrassing detail either she told you last night when wasted or Teddy did in that lil debrief]

Grace: 🤞🏽🤍🙏🏽🤍 cos I’ll wanna die if he remembers that or [something else you clearly did as bad or worse] BUT I can’t get my hopes up, like, I’m literally NOT good enough for him, last night proved it

Grace: I freaked out but I was right, still

Nancy: I bet he’s been on hundreds of worse dates, it’ll barely register

Nancy: You’re just insecure and traumatized, that doesn’t make you a bad person, AT ALL

Grace: me too I’ve been on 1000000s & here I am 😱👻 ILY for trying to make it better but you can’t

Nancy: You should get a bloody mary on the plane, you’ve earnt it

Grace: 💡👏🏽

Grace: ☕️ isn’t gonna be strong enough & it’s 🤴🏼 triggering now anyway

Nancy: If he actually managed to cure you of your caffeine addiction, you’d have to send him a thank you note

Grace: 😂 he’d really be asking himself wtf is wrong with me then

Nancy: Aren’t manners very 😇? 😏

Grace: you’re asking the wrong girl, babes

Grace: I’m no 😇 if only 🥺😭😭 & me sending a 💌 would have the poor boy thinking I’m 12 now I’ve drank like it in front of him

Nancy: He should have taken better care of you, I said it before and I’ll say it again 🤷‍♀️

Grace: it isn’t his fault, he thought I ate CARBS 👌🏽👌🏽 it’s mine I tricked him

Nancy: 🤔🤔🤔

Nancy: Okay but who orders for someone in this day and age, that was weird, it isn’t the 50s

Grace: he was being romantic

Nancy: Oh God, you really like him, don’t you?

Grace: I’m just saying, I ruined it, he didn’t do anything wrong

Nancy: But do you like him, like actually?

Grace: it doesn’t matter, we’ll NEVER see each other again, I can’t & he won’t wanna 🙈🙉🙊

Nancy: Say he did, though

Grace: ofc I like him I’m not brain damaged

Nancy: As someone you’d like to see properly

Grace: in this, like, pure fantasyland we’re 💬 in rn, duh, but in reality there’s no way

Nancy: Stranger things have happened

Grace: mhmm & all the weird things that happen to me are BAD so

Nancy: 😔 Well, it’s over now, honey

Grace: thank god, I just wanna go home

Nancy: 💔

Grace: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean like yours isn’t

Grace: you know that isn’t my 💭💭

Nancy: No, it’s fine

Nancy: I just wish I had somewhere I could run back to too, that’s all, that’s not on you

Grace: I should’ve stayed, none of this is on you 😔

Grace: I’m the actual WORST & you can hate me if you wanna

Nancy: You have school tomorrow anyway, you should focus on that, getting your grades to get out

Grace: idc about school I’m not getting the grades & they’ll lowkey have to keep me there forever or give up 🙄🙄🙄

Grace: you’re where my focus is 🤍

Nancy: 🥺 You’ll make me cry

Nancy: I’m just so sorry that it didn’t go better for you, I feel like it’s my fault for saying you should get changed or something 😟😟

Grace: no no no DON’T EVEN!! you did EVERYTHING right too!!

Grace: you told me not to 🤮 & I didn’t listen

Nancy: I just wish I could protect you from feeling like that, it really breaks my heart

Grace: 😭😭😭😭

Grace: I put you in an impossible situation, I literally shouldn’t have told you, idk what I was thinking

Nancy: you can tell me anything, I always want that

Grace: it isn’t fair it’s TOO MUCH & all I’ve done is made you feel 💔 too

Grace: I’m so SO sorry

Nancy: Shh, it’s all okay, that’s what I’m here for, we get each other

Grace: I PROMISE it was a 1 time thing & I’m not gonna do it again EVER 🤞🏽🤍🤞🏽🤍

Nancy: 🤝🤍🤝

Nancy: Because you don’t even NEED to do it

Grace: I didn’t know what else to do but it’s okay cos I’m not gonna be there again, it’s over like you said

Nancy: You just can’t be with someone if they’re going to make you feel like that, even without knowing themselves

Grace: I’ll just have to die alone, at least I still have you & you’re not mad at me 🙏🏽🤍🙌🏽

Nancy: Girl, we’ll be together, because same

Grace: is THAT why you got a dog??

Nancy: That sounded filthy, Grace! 😲😂

Grace: UM 😂😂 I was just saying you missed the memo lonely old ladies usually get cats 😂

Grace: or dogs they can fit in their laps anyway 😂

Nancy: Wellllllll the person I know with the most cats is your mama and she ain’t ever been lonely so 😶

Nancy: It’s good to have one like Rex, living alone, he can protect me

Grace: 👌🏽👌🏽 no need to rub it in &/or bring her up rn ty

Nancy: We’re all jealous, sis

Grace: don’t I know it… me most of all

Nancy: Truly men are only good for one thing and she is so right for that

Nancy: I give up on them for anything BUT, I swear 🤞🤦‍♀️

Grace: wow, okay, cool then I JUST give up

Nancy: Nun vibes 👰‍♀️✝️

Grace: or lesbian vibes, but no, I still CAN’T

Grace: that would be WORSE

Nancy: You are SUCH a bigot, OMG 🤪

Grace: 🏳️‍🌈 excuse you I’m an amazing ally 🏳️‍🌈

Nancy: 😂😂😂😂

Grace: whatever, how am I the freak, again, cos I don’t want the 1 thing men are good for?? it’s so rude

Nancy: You really would be better off if you liked girls, a man is never going to give you the emotional support you need, I swear

Nancy: Life is such a sick joke, honestly 🙃

Grace: I’d have to kms or date the UGLIEST girls ever

Grace: neither are the mood

Nancy: 🏆👸 is so real

Grace: UGH, this much baggage is EXHAUSTING

Nancy: and you 😴 for a thousand years, snoring SO LOUDLY

Grace: MEAN!!

Nancy: my ears were bleeding keeping you safe, hoe 😘

Grace: IOU for not letting me die I GUESS though it doesn’t feel like a HUGE favour rn ngl

Nancy: It’s okay, you’re allowed to be ungrateful rn

Grace: when are things gonna get better?? I wish I was gay then it’s, like, guaranteed they HAVE TO

Nancy: When you get to train, be qualified, at least then you’ll have your business to build up and focus on… works for my parents

Grace: cos they also have each other

Nancy: I think my mum would still be happy, without any of us, tbh

Grace: mine too

Nancy: Why did they bother, honestly? 🤷‍♀️😕

Grace: I can’t deal with how they can take for granted something I really badly want

Nancy: 💔 I know

Nancy: I’ll not do it, in solidarity

Grace: 🥺😭😭

Grace: I’d NEVER stop you though! you take SUCH good care of me, any kid would be the LUCKIEST ever

Nancy: No baby would be as cool as you anyway, even if it was remotely possible for me and the way my life is shaping up, no way

Grace: Rex is the lucky one for rn 💖👑💖

Nancy: True 😍😍😍

Nancy: My parents don’t need any more grandkids yet, I am NOT trying to compete with him on this 😷

Grace: Yeah I DON’T wanna talk about it either

Nancy: I can’t believe they made it to now though, she must have got rid of some, right?

Nancy: Like, she’s nearly 25, how long have they been together? There’s no way

Grace: STOP ⛔️⛔️

Nancy: I’ve got feelings about it too, babe

Nancy: She was like, my best friend since birth before they did… THAT

Grace: it’ll forever be too much to unpack, I just CAN’T

Nancy: There’s going to be a baby explosion in your family soon though, you need to prepare yourself mentally

Grace: …

Grace: I’ll NEVER be mentally strong enough 😣😣

Nancy: It’s the reality though, AWFUL as it is

Grace: I know 😭

Nancy: Jan and Ava claimed to be more sensible but look at the pair of them

Nancy: Ugh, it stresses me OUT 😥

Grace: I’ve totally changed my mind, I wish I wasn’t going home now

Nancy: Don’t they all, like, live with you, basically

Nancy: I couldn’t STAND to watch Ava and James all loved up with his kids like they’re theirs all the time like that

Grace: I’m counting down the days til I can leave, obviously

Nancy: Yeah, I bet

Nancy: like he’s nice to look at but if that’s never coming your way it’s entirely depressing

Grace: UGH

Nancy: I should’ve locked it down with James whilst I had the chance, he is too intent on ruining my sister’s life with his mistakes now

Grace: but then instead he’d be ruining yours

Nancy: She’s my little sister, I’d do anything for her

Grace: 🥺 I know, but you’re like my big sister, I can’t let you 🥺

Nancy: 💞💞💞💞💞

Nancy: I just wish I could make her see it for what it is, that’s all

Grace: me too, I’ve tried talking to her loads of times even though she treats me like I’m stupid whenever I do

Nancy: They’ve got way too much pride, they can’t see we’re trying to help but

Nancy: at least we try, however unappreciated

Grace: I wish you were my sister, I hate the ones I’ve got, they don’t try AT ALL

Nancy: I’m more than that, it’s special 🤍🔒🤍

Grace: I should be allowed to live with you, it’s not like anyone cares if I go to school or not when I’m back there OR what else I do

Nancy: The way your school works is SO confusing though, if you were here you could already be in your last year of your beauty course instead of them forcing you to do like sixth form schooly vibes

Grace: IKR?!

Nancy: Like, you DON’T want to go to Uni and be that girl… such a waste of time 💀💀

Grace: & when I don’t pass which DUH I’m NOT gonna, hello??! they’ll try & make me redo the year, they do it ALL the time 💀💀

Nancy: Oh babes, not you being like 20 still in your uniform, you cannot, that’s TOO much

Grace: 😷😷😷

Grace: I’ll have to walk out with no exams 👋🏽😘 idc cos I don’t need to look back when I leave ❤️💂🦁🌹🤍☔️🤍🫖🎡💷💙

Nancy: We cannot wait 🥳🥳🥳🥺🥰🥰

Nancy: we being me and Rex, obvs

Grace: not you & whoever you hit up last night while I was being unhinged in [whatever the restaurant is called] ??

Nancy: Lord no, no daddy for you yet, sorry 😌

Grace: I’m the opposite of mad about it 🥳🥳🥳🥺🥰🥰

Nancy: I would call you out but as you plan to be forever single too, it’s all good 😘

Grace: sorry not sorry!! I need you 🤍🔒🤍

Nancy: Forever and ever, girl

Grace: I miss you already & always

Grace: this is gonna be the LONGEST week of my life 🙄🥱

Nancy: I don’t even know HOW I’m going to fill my weekdays, for real 😩

Nancy: Gonna have to hit up this 🔗 even though idc about him

Grace: with dog walks ?? 😂😂😂 jk I know you would NEVER 😂

Nancy: 😆 My 🍑 would thank me but nah

Grace: ❌🐶💩🚫

Nancy: ABSOLUTELY NOT

Grace: … can I ask you for a favour that’s maybe almost as bad?

Nancy: … Go on

Grace: can you keep checking in on Teddy for a sec?? cos I had to unfollow obvs & I wanna make sure he’s not, like, swearing off all girls & planning to die alone too… I’d feel worse than I already do atm 💔💔

Nancy: Of course, we have plenty of mutual friends anyway, I will undoubtedly see or hear of his whereabouts

Grace: thanks, it’s cringe to ask but, like, I have now so ✌🏽

Nancy: It’s cool, he’s not going to find out you did

Grace: yeah true 🙌🏽

Nancy: You don’t want a report back, do you?

Nancy: Like I’ll just make sure he’s cool but I won’t blow you up over it

Grace: I’ll be calm, it’s none of my business anyway

Grace: as long as he’s okay & over it

Nancy: 👌

Grace: IOU again 🤍

Nancy: [Me like, should probably come at this boy and cackle so you don’t lose your composure here hun]

Grace: [go for it gal]

Nancy: I was THIS close to losing it

Teddy: Dare I ask why?

Nancy: [just send him a screenshot of this poor gal earnestly wanting to check you aren’t heartbroken]

Nancy: See?

Teddy: That I did an incredible job on her? Yes but I already knew it 💔🧸💐 Poor me

Nancy: God, you make me sick 😏

Nancy: I thought she was joking, in a rare display of self-awareness

Teddy: I’d love to make you sick, choose your preferred method & get back to me

Nancy: Haven’t you got a noose to fill?

Nancy: The devastation being as real as it is

Teddy: Okay, auto erotic asphyxiation it is 👀

Nancy: 🙄😘

Nancy: With the mood she’s in, my death will look like a suicide pact

Teddy: She’s gone, get in the mood I’m in

Nancy: You’re being so subtle, however will I guess what mood that is?

Teddy: & you’re being hilarious, of course I miss you

Nancy: I miss you more

Nancy: having to listen to her holier-than-thou version of you just made me want to talk to the real you

Teddy: Invite me over & you can do more than talk

Nancy: Do you have to be invited in 🧛‍♂️

Teddy: No, but it’ll upset Rex if I barge in, he’s protective of you

Nancy: He is 🥺

Nancy: you’ll have to be nice, if you come for a visit

Teddy: It’ll be different when I have a 🔑 but for now I’ll behave well & let him be the man of the house

Nancy: It’d be mean of you to put him in his place today, he doesn’t know he isn’t meant to be top dog yet, poor baby

Teddy: I’ve missed him too so I’ll be 😇 daddy & not 😈

Nancy: 🤏 triggering for me but I’ll let it slide, you can’t help how boring she’d like you to be

Teddy: It won’t be boring for either of us when you relay everything she said about me

Nancy: We talked about A LOT of stuff, there’s definite potential for progress

Teddy: Good

Teddy: & has your new bed arrived yet?

Nancy: Luckily after she got to the airport

Nancy: she’s already confused about the sudden appearance of the dog

Teddy: You live alone, you need him

Nancy: Yes but you know, I can’t fit it in a handbag and I’ve not made him his own social media profiles… so why did I bother ???

Teddy: 🙄 hers are full of cats, she’s hardly the authority on dogs

Nancy: She has no taste, sorry to say

Nancy: She definitely thinks he’s scary but is not gonna say that to my face

Teddy: I’m aware, darling, the disgusting clothes she tried to pick out on her own before I stepped in spoke for themselves

Teddy: but she’s correct about one thing, she should be scared of him

Nancy: You have pretty good taste in clothes, if my memory serves

Teddy: Nothing is going to look anything but awful on her body regardless but I like that you’ve noticed

Nancy: Yeah, well, I kept the lingerie on for ages

Teddy: I still owe you an outfit too, I haven’t forgotten

Nancy: How is your head this morning?

Teddy: Fantastic, if you’d like me to make us our reservation at [the restaurant he took Grace too so they can recreate it] for tonight, I will

Nancy: I suppose we’ll have to eat at some point, true

Teddy: I’ll bring home for Rex what I ordered for her, I couldn’t possibly suggest you eat it

Nancy: You wanted to make me sick, not give me a lifelong disorder, yeah?

Teddy: I want to make you happy, baby

Nancy: You’re helping

Nancy: how comfy this bed is is high up the list too

Teddy: Are you going to show me?

Nancy: [send him a pic on this enormous bed like omg]

Nancy: You could fit so many 🐶 in this thing

Teddy: I’ll make you 🤰 sick & we’ll see how many babies we can fit in there

Nancy: I am really in the mood to get pregnant after promising her I would never so

Nancy: good thing our moods are matching

Teddy: Because you’re breaking a promise to her I’ll make one to give you twins that aren’t mutants like your brothers, for yours & your parents’ sake

Nancy: You’re SO giving

Nancy: I’ll make sure they’re boys, for your sake

Teddy: Thank you, it would mean A LOT to me

Nancy: Anything for you seems like a risky precedent to set but I’m not scared

Teddy: I couldn’t be any prouder of you for overcoming your fear of me

Nancy: You’re even cuter than Rex, just don’t say anything

Teddy: I’m only in the mood to say your name

Nancy: let me hear it

Teddy: [SUCH a shameless voice note, me like sir you live at home, thank god you do have a rich person gaff and are probably as far away from your parents as poss]

Nancy: 🥴 Oh

Nancy: the fact you can do that as loud as you want now

Teddy: I’m determined all your neighbours are going to hate me LONG before I move in

Nancy: They’ll be begging me to throw another party instead 😁

Teddy: They’ll have to wait until I’ve finished begging you for what I want

Nancy: Baby

Teddy: It’s quite a list, they’ll probably be rather impatient, I’m sorry

Nancy: I’m not

Teddy: Me either, not at all

Nancy: I can’t leave you needy

Teddy: What kind of mother would you be if that’s the precedent?

Nancy: The only mother of your children you want

Teddy: Yes

Nancy: I’m really glad you get to give me everything you have, it’d be wrong to hold back, wrong for us

Teddy: Our moods definitely are matching

Nancy: I couldn’t have got her out the door fast enough

Teddy: You know I’d have to trick you if you didn’t want what I want & I’d feel bad about it

Nancy: Sorry I’m as fucked up as you

Nancy: we can trick everyone else, whenever we want to use them

Teddy: I’m not, I love that you’re as fucked up as I am

Nancy: It makes me want to be with you always, how high I feel thinking about the things I can admit to liking to you

Teddy: You can tell me anything, I’m not afraid of that as a set precedent either

Nancy: I want to feel you getting hard under me when I tell you everything she said

Teddy: Okay, I’ll try & think about something else for a while so it’s how I have to become again instead of just the state I’m already in

Nancy: It’d be so hypocritical of me to expect that, but you’ll get more turned on, twitchy, trying to fuck me, it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen

Teddy: I am a new level of turned on since we started doing this

Nancy: it’s unreal, you are

Teddy: You are, it’s unbelievable I haven’t fucked you yet, the amount I’ve thought about it & the amount I’ve cum for you

Nancy: I want to feel like I’m full to the brim, like genuinely can’t move for it, that’s the only thing that would be appropriate

Teddy: You will, I woke up feeling like that

Nancy: 🤤 you should’ve woken up in my mouth, I’m so sorry

Teddy: It isn’t your fault you had to wake up to her big mouth, I’m sorry, you deserve so much better

Nancy: Her crying is foreplay, that’s as good as she will be for us

Teddy: Please tell me you recorded it 🙏

Nancy: Do I love you?

Teddy: Desperately

Nancy: and I as desperately wanted to touch myself whilst she was, so, yes, it was necessary

Teddy: I as desperately need to marry you right now

Nancy: the answer is yes

Teddy: You’re fucking perfect

Nancy: Boys are always too nice and I hate them for it so much

Nancy: you’re the most special, my dream boy

Teddy: Tell me about it, most girls are pathetic, it makes my stomach turn over in the opposite to a fun way

Nancy: I’ve spent so damn long being unsatisfied by everything and everyone, no matter the combination or how long I kept it all going

Teddy: I know, so was I

Nancy: We were with the same people, on the same things, it barely touching the sides

Teddy: I was beginning to feel as devastated by it all for real as Grace thinks she is

Nancy: Tell me about it, it’s exhausting, staying on their level when I want to go so much further

Teddy: & then you get reckless, do things you wouldn’t & shouldn’t otherwise

Teddy: I stayed with [the girl from the very beginning she asked him about] too long

Nancy: She’d turn you normal, I’ve watched it happen so many times

Teddy: I felt it starting to happen

Nancy: You were born for this, to be depraved

Teddy: You can’t decide you want something besides this, we’ll never find anything else like it again

Nancy: I just want more, no boundaries

Teddy: I don’t have any, my father paid a fortune every term to prevent me from being expelled from school

Nancy: As he should, how much of this is his fault

Teddy: I insist upon the majority of the credit, naturally

Nancy: You’re the one I want, not either of your siblings, so it must be true

Teddy: Nurture, or lack of, can only be blamed to an extent

Teddy: DNA the same

Nancy: Our kids don’t stand a chance

Teddy: They stand every chance of being just like us, which is why anyone reproduces in the first place

Teddy: at least your ego, unlike your brother’s, is worthy of being gifted that, because you’re incredible

Nancy: No, you

Nancy: I don’t know how I’m meant to act around all your mini-mes 😍

Teddy: However you like, they owe you everything, they wouldn’t even exist if not for you

Nancy: They’ll be the most spoilt, there’s no way to resist

Teddy: No, you will

Nancy: 🥰

Nancy: Nothing is changing this, touching what this is

Teddy: I’d seriously go insane

Nancy: Not in a fun way

Teddy: When I thought this was over

Nancy: I could feel the spiral coming, the amount of shit I’d have to do to try and replace what this has given me already

Teddy: It’s irreplaceable, I wouldn’t be able to try, I’d have to give up & become like them

Nancy: I won’t let it happen

Teddy: We can’t

Nancy: I’m done watching everyone get taken over

Nancy: you don’t deserve that slow death

Teddy: I’m going to watch you get everything you’ve ever wanted, nothing else

Nancy: This is going to be the best week of your life, you have no idea

Teddy: I have lots of ideas

Nancy: that is what I like about you

Teddy: But yeah, it is going to be the best week of my life, no doubt

Nancy: So far, anyway

Nancy: I don’t plan on stopping

Teddy: & I absolutely don’t intend to stop you

Nancy: At least you can seem suitably subdued on your socials but still have things you can post, keep her 👀 off you

Teddy: Hers are going to be too funny

Nancy: Are we going to be genuine with how we’re struggling this week or act like we’re living our best life? 🤔😂

Teddy: Genuine isn’t something she can do, clearly

Nancy: yeah but what if you’re stalking her socials because you’re SO into her?!

Teddy: Of course

Nancy: The weird confidence with a total lack of self-esteem in general is so weird

Teddy: It would be sufficiently jarring to frighten off other boys with a different motive

Nancy: That is what she does best, yeah

Teddy: I’d offer her some tips if it weren’t entirely counterproductive & a secret how much they like me

Nancy: It’s safe to say you do not have the same type, if she was honest with what she wants and not what she wants to look like she wants

Nancy: should actually go to church to find herself a man but there we go

Teddy: She’d rather live a lie & she’s about to

Nancy: She’s so welcome 🥰

Teddy: 🧚🏼‍♂️

Nancy: You’ll really wanna ease up on the fairy stuff though, she is basically homophobic

Teddy: I can’t wait to introduce her to the family, she’ll fit right in

Nancy: Gross

Teddy: Her mother will sleep with anything with a pulse, a paid therapist isn’t necessary to recognise the correlation

Nancy: She would choose to ignore how the multiple baby daddies are the issue there 🙄

Teddy: She’d have her own by now, she obviously doesn’t see it as an issue

Nancy: It unavoidably is, kinda shocked she didn’t go that hard into her trauma once she was hammered but well done, sis 💁‍♀️👏

Nancy: She just wants to be normal, despite the fact her complete lack of defining or unique features is what makes her so easy to overlook

Teddy: She’s given me a ridiculously easy task at least, be a bore & a romantic cliche

Nancy: 🥱🥱🥱🥱

Nancy: Thank God I’ve given you other chances to impress me

Teddy: I would’ve found & taken the opportunity if you were for some reason yet to be impressed

Nancy: I usually am but

Nancy: I want you to change that so you better

Teddy: Is that my eagerly awaited invitation?

Nancy: Are you really not on the way already?

Teddy: Perhaps, or perhaps not

Nancy: I’m not getting out the good paper to write you one, come on

Teddy: There’s the dyslexic privilege I’m ready to exploit

Nancy: Focus on exploiting me, thanks

Teddy: Focus & you’ll be aware I’m on my way

Nancy: I’m very focused, I have no other plans today

Teddy: I’m very pleased to hear it

Nancy: This bed is too nice to get out of

Teddy: It should be, we worked hard to make it nice with all those decisions

Nancy: I hope you like it, enough to stay

Teddy: I like you enough to stay

Nancy: You make me feel

Nancy: it’s like weak and dumb but in a good way, somehow?

Teddy: Well, I did insist I’d treat you better than your father & that’s what they do in the negative, so I’m on the right track

Nancy: I hadn’t forgotten, sort of seared into my brain, that one 😳

Teddy: I hated when you said you weren’t going to hold me to anything I’d said

Nancy: Yeah, I know, it was mean

Teddy: You’re not allowed to forget, it’s too important & we both know how in your face Grace & I are going to be

Nancy: Alright, I’ll hold myself to it

Teddy: I love you, remember I said it to you first

Nancy: and you’ve told me, any motive you could have

Teddy: I’ll repeat it every chance I have

Nancy: I’ll try not to be cunty to you, remember why we’re doing this

Nancy: at some point, I’ll have to turn into your biggest fan anyway

Teddy: Fighting just means making up, I’ll try & remind myself

Nancy: I don’t do jealousy, this would be a stupid reason to start

Teddy: You being jealous of anyone is laughable, over her it couldn’t be more ridiculous

Nancy: You can call me dumb about this, I’ll not fight you

Teddy: It means you care, I don’t want to fight about that

Nancy: I know you like it, you’re soft

Teddy: I most certainly am not

Teddy: [photographic evidence nobody asked for, soz as per to whoever is driving him rn]

Nancy: Oh, OKAY

Nancy: I’ve never been happier to be proven wrong 🥺🥺🥺

Teddy: Did you pick me because you think I’m soft?

Nancy: I didn’t know you were

Teddy: I’m curious what it means, aside from a blatant 🧚🏼‍♂️ slur, possibly?

Nancy: Yeah, I’m cyberbullying you right now 😉

Nancy: I’m not sure exactly what I mean… just that you’re more invested than I thought you’d be, maybe? You want more than what I assumed you would

Teddy: You expected me to be more calculating, callous, I understand why

Nancy: Just more predictable even

Nancy: All I offered you at the start was the chance to use her and a share of a decent stash, remember

Teddy: I haven’t forgotten you owe me A LOT of K, predictable as that may be

Nancy: 😏 we’ll find somewhere not entirely predictable to take it

Teddy: One thing you should’ve already had a fixed idea of about me is I’ll always be willing to go deeper down the rabbit hole, Alice

Teddy: the moment a better offer comes along, that’s what I want, regardless of how far away from the starting point it is

Nancy: I didn’t imagine you’d say no to a chance of hooking up

Nancy: but more like you’re ticking off a who’s who, not this

Teddy: Nobody, aside from your sister, has ever said no to hooking up, it’s not what I said yes to, I didn’t imagine that part would even be much fun

Nancy: That’s a little rude

Teddy: I’ve never been happier to be proved wrong either, darling

Nancy: You haven’t yet, no pressure or anything

Teddy: But I have, it’s been the most fun so far

Nancy: But if it’s shit now I’ll have to pretend I never said any of this and kick you out

Teddy: Oh please, I’d refuse to go anywhere until it was good

Teddy: Who do you think I am?

Nancy: You’re the one that’s put it in my head

Nancy: You’ll have to take the spare room and start paying rent

Teddy: I’m used to being disappointed, I’ve been open about that, it isn’t a personal attack worthy of charging me rent

Nancy: 👌 roomie

Teddy: Okay, fine, I’ll add it to our roleplays

Nancy: but I know what you mean

Nancy: and can guess why you wanted to do it in the first place

Teddy: We’ve talked through our motives pretty extensively by now, but if you feel like there’s something you’re still doing guesswork on, you can ask me

Nancy: The lack of a challenge she presents is more than made up in the one I do, it’s simple enough

Teddy: If you were a challenge

Nancy: Really?

Teddy: Come on, it hasn’t exactly taken us long to get here

Nancy: Wow

Teddy: There’s no reason to be offended

Nancy: I’m not, just disappointed, so what’s new

Teddy: There’s less reason to be disappointed

Nancy: I��m not about to play into your hand, so you have every reason to be disappointed, actually

Teddy: It isn’t a game, you know that

Nancy: but it is, and that’s why you said yes

Teddy: It was when I agreed to do this, it’s not anymore

Nancy: Alright

Teddy: What are you upset about?

Nancy: I’m not upset, you just reminded me what we’re actually doing here

Teddy: Nancy, this is silly

Nancy: You only feel it now because you reckoned you were about to achieve your goal

Teddy: No, I don’t feel it because that isn’t what my goal is

Nancy: We have no reason to trust each other, that’s stupid

Teddy: Are you seriously going to do this again?

Nancy: Obviously

Teddy: You do trust me

Nancy: That would be stupid

Teddy: You’re being stupid not to when the entire reason we’re here this fast is because we’re so well suited

Nancy: and not just how easy it was because you’re so great, right?

Teddy: How many times can I tell you I’m not playing you?

Nancy: That’s what you say when you’re trying, you slipped up, sorry

Teddy: You want me to slip up because, you said it yourself, you feel under pressure

Nancy: If it was real, of course I would, that’s intentional too

Teddy: Call it off because you’re scared, it’s nonsense to go for this angle & turn me into someone I am not

Nancy: Be who you want, Teddy

Teddy: If who you want to be is crazy I can’t talk to you

Nancy: We don’t need to talk, it’s not useful to either of us right now

Teddy: When you’ve seen sense you know where I am or am likely to be

Nancy: I’ll avoid where I imagine you’re more likely to be if you do the same for me

Teddy: I don’t promise to

Nancy: Why would you bother

Teddy: It isn’t beneficial for either of us for me to give you your own way when you’re this wrong about why you want it

Nancy: all I want now is to party and there are so many places I can achieve that, even if I have to walk out of any you might be in

Teddy: I won’t be there, I have no interest in piling disappointment upon disappointment, it’s all boring, I told you

Nancy: I know what it is, it’s what I have

Teddy: No, we have each other if you just stop

Nancy: How, you made that impossible

Teddy: Nothing is impossible, even while you’re having an insane identity crisis about this, I know who we both are

Nancy: Don’t be so bloody patronising

Teddy: Don’t behave like your clueless cousin

Nancy: Shut up, she has no backbone, she wouldn’t say any of this

Teddy: It’s the same act of sabotage with an identical end result

Nancy: If you think I’m going to sit around and cry about you like that, dream on

Teddy: I’m painfully aware of what you’re going to do & it’s as tragic

Nancy: I don’t call you tragic for being a slut

Teddy: Because I’m not going to fuck someone else instead of you in order to fake I’m still in control when I’m really losing it

Nancy: I just have no interest in fucking you now, as shocking as that might be to you

Teddy: It doesn’t shock me at all your new plan is to lie to yourself & to me

Nancy: Jesus

Teddy: Have a blast being deluded with most of the city about one thing or another, I hope you get the chemical help you need to do so

Nancy: You’re delusional if you think anything about this is attractive

Teddy: I’m not on a mission to attract you, you’re the one who thinks I am, or was

Nancy: Just another day for you, obviously

Teddy: Believe what you want, Nance

Nancy: You’re shit at this

Teddy: Because I’ve never done it before, a fact you’d know if you dared to accept this is actually different

Nancy: Every time I try, you just remind me how it ain’t

Teddy: Maybe you’re right, because whenever you doubt my motives & question me constantly, I have to ask myself why I’m trying to change anything about the way my life is

Nancy: Nothing about this is easy, chat all you want about me wasting my time and being delusional like it’s not what you’re going to go back to

Teddy: But that’s where you’re wrong, it would be easy for me to stay with you

Teddy: I don’t want to go back, I want to go fucking forwards, together

Nancy: I don’t know what’s forward, what’s there

Teddy: Yes you do, but you don’t want it, you don’t trust me enough to let yourself

Nancy: I don’t, and I don’t trust myself

Nancy: I should already be there by now

Teddy: Then that’s it, we can stick to the Grace plan or not, whatever you like, take some time to think about if that’s something you still want

Nancy: Don’t talk to me like this is a meeting

Teddy: It more or less is

Nancy: You can fuck off then

Teddy: Okay

Nancy: Not okay, prick

Teddy: [just leave that there for now hun like the petty bitch you are fucking off despite the fact she wants to keep having a go]

Nancy: [we really fucked you over genetically for having a temper hun, keep your mouth closed though, just unfollow him dramatically everywhere you can for the petty spike of feelings that will give you at least]

Teddy: [obvs you gotta unfollow her too & most importantly you gotta interact with whatever Grace is posting even if it’s just a like or a story view or something because duh, hard same on being cruel and dramatic]

Nancy: [when Grace would definitely tell you so you’re just here seething]

Teddy: [soz not soz, well soz to Grace but you know, oh lads you do amuse me]

Nancy: Can you actually stop, thanks

Teddy: I’m having my own fun, you can’t stop me

Nancy: You said take some time so let me

Teddy: I’m likewise not preventing you from doing that

Nancy: You obviously are because what is that if not going ahead with the Grace plan

Teddy: For all she knows my finger slipped, it commits you to nothing because it can just as easily mean nothing

Nancy: I’m the one who has to discuss what it does or doesn’t mean with her, so no, cut the crap

Teddy: 🥱

Nancy: Teddy, I’m serious because I’m not in the mood to humour her about this

Teddy: I’m done, you don’t need to cry about it

Nancy: You know the damage is already done, that’s why you did it, thanks SO much

Teddy: You’re SO welcome

Nancy: You’re making the decision easier to make

Teddy: Oh good, after all, it is what a gentleman would do & I’m about to forgo the role, have to do what I can while I can

Nancy: You’re as free to continue wooing her as I am to tell her why you started

Teddy: If I was interested in doing so for its own sake, I wouldn’t need your permission, you’re correct

Nancy: You’re that transparent, don’t worry

Teddy: Yes I am & yet here we are

Nancy: You really had to make her talk to me though? Think of something better

Teddy: Why would I? It’s the ideal punishment

Nancy: Because I could call it all off for real if she doesn’t shut the fuck up

Teddy: I don’t care if you do, it’s you who’ll lose out

Nancy: Bullshit

Teddy: I’m not invested in Grace or in any of the rest of your family, I am in you & as you’ve pointed out, I’m wasting my time

Teddy: there’s a multitude of other things I can use to do that too

Nancy: And none of them are as fun, clearly

Teddy: Well, I’m hardly having fun with you either, so as I’ve said, who cares?

Nancy: Because I can’t wreck my family on my own and you can’t yours

Teddy: I’ll find a way which doesn’t involve you or needing anyone’s help, I’ll have plenty of time, nothing but, in fact

Nancy: Right, of course you will

Teddy: There’s no need to pretend my family will be that difficult to ruin, they’re halfway to having done it themselves

Nancy: And how long have they been like that, centuries?

Teddy: Darling, I’m not as old as you, it isn’t as pressing

Nancy: Your choice

Teddy: Yeah

Nancy: Good luck, sorry if she runs to your inbox to shout, or, you’re welcome? Whatever

Teddy: 😘

Nancy: 👋

Teddy: [that went well, go and cause a family argument IRL or something to try and feel something, I’m sure they’ll be thrilled]

Nancy: [we’ve probably likewise snapped at Grace without fully doing a tell-all and now need to have a party and piss off the neighbours again with our behaviour, thanks gal lol]

Teddy: [me like don’t you turn up at that party, boy]

Nancy: [she says don’t you do it honey]

Teddy: [like, he’s very much not above it, especially because his dog is there but it’s probably a bigger fuck you to act like you’re ignoring her entirely unless you’re gonna show purely to take said dog but then what sir, you live at home, you can’t]

Nancy: [that really makes it not the move you think it is, like where are you taking that dog, boy, yes this flat is entirely funded by our parents but at least they aren’t here lol]

Teddy: [mhmm, exactly so don’t, flop]

Gia: Why did you choose today to be a colossal nightmare?

Teddy: Why not today?

Gia: Because it is the only day I can guarantee any time spent with my family

Teddy: Noted, every day of your life is a colossal nightmare, but that’s hardly something I’m to blame for

Gia: You are to blame for Seb not wanting to do this every week now

Teddy: Please, shortening his name like that isn’t going to magically make him look or act your age, but it WILL make me gag 🤢

Gia: And here was me hoping University might make you mature slightly…

Teddy: Hasn’t ‘girls mature faster than boys’ been your entire reason to live since before I was born?

Gia: I’ve never acted the way you do, even if I’d wanted to, I’d have never gotten away with it

Teddy: 💔 I’d suggest you try it but it’s rather too late now, unless you intend to take behaving as I would as far as forsaking your husband

Gia: As I said, I have literally no desire to throw a tantrum like that

Gia: Why are you?

Teddy: Why are you acting as if you suddenly care?

Gia: Assumedly, that’s what you were after, attention

Teddy: Incorrect, but it’s always the goal to make everyone suffer as I must

Gia: Precisely

Gia: If you didn’t want the parents to have to have hushed conversations about you, you would do as the rest of us do and keep it to yourself

Teddy: Well, if they won’t have full volume conversations about each other & address the real issues

Gia: Is that why you’re sad, mummy and daddy are fighting again?

Teddy: No, but I am cheered by your slight attempt at humour

Gia: If mocking you can be considered a joke, I suppose

Gia: Could you not find an excuse to absent yourself if you were going to be in such a mood though, it isn’t as if James attends, you don’t have to

Teddy: It’s extremely laughable you think you have any grounds to mock me, yes

Teddy: & that you would dare to comment on my mood given your spouse’s inability to do anything with his face but 😒

Gia: He’s only like that around you, actually

Gia: and who could blame him?

Teddy: I’m doing him a favour, his brats are going to be my age soon, it’s best he practises because he can’t exactly leave the supportive parenting to you

Gia: I’m not your mother, I don’t need to handhold you through your hangover/heartbreak to prove that I’m a capable parent

Teddy: You’re nobody’s mother, Gia & LONG may that continue to be the case, truly 🙏

Gia: If I had such news, I would have cut through your nonsense with it

Teddy: Such a pity he’s incapable of delivering it for you, in any sense

Gia: Do you have to be so disgusting?

Teddy: You married him, that’s disgusting

Gia: No one asked your opinion, how you feel about him is irrelevant

Teddy: & yet here you are defending yourself against my opinion, it’s obviously relevant to you if you feel the need

Gia: You defend your partner, that’s pretty standard

Teddy: When he’s so frail, of course

Gia: So instead of finding yourself a job, you’re spending your time working on your stand-up, are you?

Teddy: Oh I’m sorry, do you have news of our father going bankrupt? I would’ve given you the floor

Gia: Exactly, I was doing work experience with the firm and had my own part-time job during Uni

Teddy: But you still never got the attention you were after, did you? 🥺

Gia: I don’t want attention, I want, and have, a career

Gia: What do you want, Teddy?

Teddy: Currently, I would like you to stop boring me to tears

Gia: For God’s sake, grow up

Teddy: Like you have? No thanks

Gia: Do you want to be a joke, like James?

Teddy: You’re a joke too, don’t exempt yourself

Gia: Except I work hard for what I have, don’t sponge off of mum and dad and I also don’t embarrass them, at every opportunity I have, so, no, I’m not

Teddy: You married into what you have & mother is mortified

Gia: She is not

Teddy: She is

Gia: You’re just saying that

Teddy: She says it, drunk words are the truest, G

Gia: Perhaps she ought to lay off the liquor then

Teddy: Perhaps if she’d married better herself she would

Gia: I fail to see how she could, and this is such a tired, irrelevant fantasy of yours anyway, they’re fine

Teddy: I’m not going to open up about my newer fantasies, especially not to you

Gia: I will never, ever ask you to

Teddy: Go away, you’re making me more upset

Gia: What on earth is wrong with you? You’re behaving more strangely than usual

Teddy: You literally just said you’d never, ever ask

Gia: As a rule, don’t bring your girl trouble to the table if you wouldn’t actually bring the girl

Teddy: I would, but she’d reject the invitation

Gia: 💔

Teddy: Thank you for your incredible contribution

Gia: You’re not serious, you aren’t serious about anything

Gia: you’ll be fine in the morning

Teddy: It would serve you right if I was dead in the morning, but I’m not pathetic, at least

Gia: You are SO dramatic

Teddy: I have intense feelings about her, you’re dismissive about anything which doesn’t involve your husband’s life insurance

1 note · View note

kreide-was-taken · 2 years

Text

just feeling like shit today, rant/vent below

i do feel a little better now but like, i still need to lay this on the ground and tell people

idc if anyone reads this or not, i just want to say it out loud

i’m not as confident and positive as people think i am. i have extremely low self esteem, and have been self deprecating for as long as i can remember. yes, that means my entire life.

i’m almost 27 years old, its been a struggle every single day of my life. i do try, i do. but when people make it sound easy with words like “you should try doing this or that, it might work” its not going to be easy for me.

take drawing for example. do you know how many canvases and ideas i’ve scrapped because it just looks ‘wrong’? do you know that as someone who aims to be consistent, how difficult it is for me to do so? do you know, that the reason i’ve stopped drawing for more than a decade is because i had depression, and i just wanted everything to end because i was just so so tired? that i was tired of being played, being clowned, being lied to by people i thought i could trust?

alot of people i’ve met assume that i’m great at this. news flash; I’M NOT. i struggle so much daily that its not even amusing to me anymore. being told to 'suck it up’ and 'people have it worse’ its not helpful in anyway. i’m trying. get it through your head and stop assuming i’m naturally gifted in this bullshit.

i’ve recently tried to relearn drawing from scratch. its not much, it looks terrible, but for once in my life i actually am proud of the pieces i’ve put out nowadays, even if they look bad to other people.

and how does my headspace cope with this? having me see and compare the amount of attention other people have been getting vs how much i got. this is just. its just not great on me. i had to mute and hide art channels because its making me want to look and slap me in the face with it. i almost left discord servers because of this.

i know there’s gonna be people coming to me and saying “you know you can talk to me! my DMs are open”. again, its not easy being in my shoes. i have major trust issues. i’ve only told one person about how i really feel. i only have one real close friend who will listen and never judge me for how i am. i know you guys mean well, but its not easy. not at all.

its why i’m so attached to John Ward as a character. we’re both lonely characters in this world we’re fighting against. we both have issues, alot of it. i’ve not been diagnosed for years (and counting) and i don’t think i’ll ever figure it out. i just relate to him so easily that he brings me comfort. a mere fictional character, it almost makes me laugh at how ironic this is.

to the people who read this and reached the end; don’t take pity on me. we have our problems, yes. but this is just a battle that i’ll never win at any point in life. the only thing i can do is to keep trying, even if i’m losing. i’m not gonna stop doing what i love. just know that its been alot of difficult days to get to this point.

#long txt #vent post #i'm sorry but today is just. really bad.

0 notes

jungwnies · 2 years

Text

↬ prompt ;; how nct is with public display of affection (pda) ↬ part one ;; ◦ taeil ◦ johnny ◦ taeyong ◦ yuta ◦ kun ◦ doyoung ◦ ten ◦ jaehyun ◦ jeno

↬ part two ;; here ↬ part three ;; here

↬ warning ;; teeth rotting fluff & slightly suggestive content (not really though) ↬ requested ;; yes!! ↬ author's note ;; this is a series with the other groups on my masterlist found: here. i will be starting from oldest to youngest with the NCT version, so please be patient with me as this might develop into three parts since there's a whopping 23 members ☃︎

↬ please remember to like, comment, & reblog as the love is always appreciated ↬ also keep in mind that these are simply MY opinions! enjoy :)

⊱ taeil

○ moon taeil? he does not care an ounce ○ he will kiss you in public, hug you, he will show affection to you whenever wherever ○ BUT ○ taeil prefers privacy, just cause he will show you off to the public and press doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy alone time ○ this man LOVES being alone with you because he just feels safer, but he also feels safe knowing that everyone surrounding you guys knows you two are in love... ○ taeil doesn't get jealous ○ even if he DOES get a little jealous it doesn't bother him at all because he's confident in your relationship ○ nothing really bothers taeil because he trusts you 110% ○ like i said, pda for taeil? he doesn't care ○ but on the contrary, he prefers the alone time, private intimacy, all that jazz ○ taeil is a lover boy in the public eye and alone idc what anyone else has to say

⊱ johnny

○ like taeil, he doesn't care ○ tbh i feel like everyone in this age range is not gonna care but idk yet ○ johnny WANTS to show you off but his fan base is gonna go crazy (e.g. chloe kim) ○ management def. tells johnny to lay low because they don't want fans attacking you two ○ johnny wants to kiss you though, and hug you, and all that rotten fluffy shit ○ johnny gets jealous and he is NOT afraid to show it ○ he doesn't SAY it but his actions??? ○ boy starts feeling up on you, whispering in your ear, kissing your neck, IN PUBLIC ○ johnny suh? he's unstoppable when he sees another guy looking at what is HIS ○ anyways LOL ○ johnny is also a lover, but i feel like his love is just a strong mix of lust and passion because he thinks with his heart and dick ○ his ego is just huge too so he wants everyone to know what belongs to him

⊱ taeyong

○ again, HE DOES NOT CAREEE ○ especially since mister man is the leader ○ tbh everyone assumed one day he was gonna pop out with some red velvet member but then you guys got leaked ○ let's say those were some scandalous leaked pictures ○ taeyong def. makes out with you in public, hugs you, kisses your neck, this mf looks like he wants to get into your pants in front of dispatch istg... 😭 ○ tyong definitely got in trouble with management a few times because HE'S SUPERRR TOUCHY IN PUBLIC ○ tyong doesn't even get jealous because he knows what he does to you ○ he gets a lil cray cray in the bedroom though sometimes saying shit like, "i'll fuck you better than anyone other guy who lays their eyes on you" HDSKCVDUJ ○ okay let me stop... ○ taeyong is super loving and cute sometimes but he's also super stubborn and dominant because he just wants the best for y'all ○ he loves being alone with you ○ BUTTT he will not change how he treats you based on if there are cameras around or not :')

⊱ yuta

○ kinda cares, but also kinda doesn't ○ unlike the previous three.. he isn't super touchy in public ○ he prefers to keep a low profile in front of dispatch but when y'all are having a private dinner or something ○ yea, he's all up on you ○ he doesn't do too much in front of the cameras, but if there's no cameras he will kiss you, make out with you, etc... ○ there can be hella people and no cameras and he'll still do it ○ like johnny, he doesn't want fans to go crazy and potentially hurt you so he tries not to be too sexual in public or lusty ○ yuta gets jealous, for sure ○ but he's pretty calm about it, but in the bedroom like tyong? ○ this mf GOES CRAZYYY ○ he brings it up before seggsy time, but then during seggsy time he's bringing it up while making you scream his name out ○ ANYWAYS LMFAO... pda for yuta is a yes and no kinda of situation, just depends on whose around

⊱ kun

○ kun cares ○ kun prefers privacy, he doesn't do much in front of the cameras ○ he's a little more mature and likes to keep it it lowkey with you in front of a lot of people ○ he will hold your hand and stuff but he won't kiss you, or make out with you, or anything of that sort ○ kun doesn't get jealous either but if he's feeling sus of someone nearby he will tell you ○ prob will whisper it to you so no one else hears ○ like i said, he prefers privacy so he's more loving and affectionate in private DO NOT WORRY ○ kun loves you and he's sure to show it, but in public he just doesn't like the cameras ○ or the people to be honest ○ he doesn't like people staring at him, he doesn't like cameras catching him ○ he thinks it weird that people care so much so he just wants to keep you ○ ALL TO HIMSELF

⊱ doyoung

○ mixed feelings about this one ○ i think doyoung cares but like, doesn't care at the same time, idkkk ○ he will give you small kisses here and there, but he's also just always holding your hand ○ he gets a little nervy in front of cameras, or when he's surrounded by a lot of people especially when they're tryna get pics of the two of you ○ so he doesn't really involve himself in pda for the sake of, he's gonna get flustered.. ○ you can bet that his gonna do his little uncomfortable smile, when people are capturing the small kisses he shares with you ○ doyoung gets jealous, but like some of the others, he doesn't show it ○ he doesn't even bring it up ○ sometimes if it's really bothering him he'll tell you, or he starts subconsciously holding your hand a little tighter ○ because he's kinda iffy about pda sometimes he's more comfortable with it than other times ○ he 100% prefers just privacy with you and being alone with you because he knows that no one is judging him ○ and he knows that he doesn't have to worry about some crazy ass fans getting mad because he has a s/o

⊱ ten

○ mf does not fucking care ○ at all, literally does not give a shit ○ he WILL show you off, don't even get me started fr ○ he doesn't care about the people around, the cameras, literally NOTHINGGG ○ he doesn't even care if the people around him are uncomfortable tbh 😭 ○ sometimes he gets flustered and gets a little shy, but still he is unstoppable ○ if he gets jealous he just says it, and tells you that he's jealous ○ sometimes he's a bit reluctant to tell you but most of the time you can probably just tell because his whole ENERGY shifts ○ dont get me wrong, ten loves being private with you, and he's way more prurient with you ○ in public he's a little more extroverted and he's kinda just a ball of energy who doesn't care what's going on around him ○ in private, he's a bit more passionate, sensual, the vibe just shifts completely when you guys are in private ○ he might not care, but he cherishes the privacy with you

⊱ jaehyun

○ he prefers privacy 100% ○ he's a little more clam in front of the cameras, not really a big ball of energy as some people ○ he will hold your hand, kiss you, he'll do it all with you in front of cameras and stuff, but mainly just hand holding ○ here and there dispatch catches y'all kissing in front of some coffee shop because mans cannot live without his iced coffee ○ but he just prefers doing all the lovey, affection shit behind scenes ○ his energy shifts in front of cameras, lowkey gets a little boring in front of cameras because they never catch anything of him LMFAO ○ but when he's off camera, just around you or the members his energy is something else, he's a little more wild ○ he'll do PDA with you in front of staff or the members, but never really IN public ○ he doesn't get jealous either, like he knows his worth and knows that no one can compare to him as he should... ○ so he doesn't worry or care if someone is looking at you but if they look a little to hard and long he kinda pulls you away, he doesn't even realize he does that though ○ jae is a simple guy, he just wants to cherish you and worship you in private ○ so def privacy >>> pda

462 notes · View notes

patt-writes-stuff · 3 years

Text

Beach Days with The Genshin Characters!

Wc: 1.7k+

Type: Headcanons

CW: umm nothing except mentions of alcohol and maybe people being creeps? (None of the chars or you tho it’s very brief)

A/N: HI IM BACK FROM THE DEAD! These were supposed to be a lot shorter but I got too excited. If you by any chance wanna see some for your fav character lmk! I know it says request are closed in my bio but since it’s just hcs it’s a lot less (and I really enjoyed writing these so ajdhdhdk)

🔥Diluc:

This man cannot swim. Tell me otherwise, I dare you.

Kaeya tried to jokingly push him off a lil diving cliff area when they were kids.

He almost drowned. Kaeya was in a lot of trouble.

So, good luck getting this man to actually get in the water. The most he’ll do is sit on the shore where it’s very shallow.

He usually prefers to just stay under an umbrella on the sand and keep an eye on you.

Calls you every two hours in advance and helps you reapply sunscreen.

He’s very pale so I feel like he burns pretty easily, meaning he needs to reapply super frequently otherwise he will become a tomato. He brings like three bottles of the good shit. Tch, rich boy.

If you ask him to build a sandcastle, he will pretend to be annoyed but do it anyways. Ends up finding it kind of enjoyable.

He has the maids prepare a nice picnic basket for the two of you!! It’s got all your favorite foods plus grape juice cuz y’know.

If any creepy peeps approach you, don’t worry. He brought his vision and his claymore.

Of course, he won’t have to resort to such violent lengths. Everyone in Mondstadt knows who Diluc is and they probably know you’re his s/o, so they’re usually smart enough to mind their own business.

If they don’t, don’t worry. Diluc’s glare is more than enough to scare them away.

All in all I definitely recommend a beach day with him! I’ll give it a solid 8/10 (-2 for not wearing floaties and getting in the water with you or letting you teach him how to swim.

🖌Albedo:

You guys definitely 100% take Klee out with you on a beach day.

You guys bring snacks, beach toys like buckets and shovels for optimal sandcastle building, a picnic blanket, etc.

Jean definitely packs a lot more stuff for you guys to take with you than you actually need.

It’s only cuz she’s worried for Klee and is nervous about not being able to go with you guys though! It’s very sweet really.

Klee tries to bomb the fish and cause havoc at the beach 😭

I think Albedo is a good swimmer and gets in with you and Klee so that he can help her (which is very cute omfg)

He’s set total workaholic, as we know, so it took a lot of convincing to get him to put down his experiments and accompany you to the beach (however, he’s particularly weak to yours and klee’s puppy dog eyes so he caved eventually)

Though, looking at you and Klee happily building sandcastles and decorating them with pretty seashells of all shapes and colors, he can’t really find it in himself to complain.

He, of course, takes this opportunity to take out his sketchbook and draw the waves, seagulls, you… Of course he won’t let you see the sketch book no sir. He’s a bit embarrassed to be honest, but an artist such as himself recognizes beauty when he sees it so he simply had to draw you. (God I love him so much)

If a creepy person approaches you,- well don’t worry. The sight of a small arsonist child blowing up fish is enough to scare them away 🥰

At the end of the day, all three of you are all ticketed out. Albedo has to carry Klee back to Mondstadt because the poor baby fell asleep the moment you started drying her hair with the beach towel. You’re, of course, carrying back Dodoco and your bags. (You also manage to sneak a peak at Albedo’s sketchbook and find some very pretty drawings of you and Klee with your sandcastle)

At the end of the day, you guys tuck Klee in and read her a bedtime story (she woke up and insisted). Afterwards Albedo takes you back home and thanks you for coming with you and Klee (which you ofc say wasn’t a problem because how could you not???)

All in all? I’ll give it a solid 10/10. You’ve got tasty food, fun times, your boyfriend and his cute kid adoptive sister (yes I am very biased idc)

🦋Xiao:

I think it would take a lot of convincing to get Xiao to go out on a beach date with you.

He’ll probably see it as a distraction getting in the way of his slaying of monsters and demons.

However, he also worships the grounds you walk on (hehe, simp XD), so I don’t think it’ll take that much convincing on your part (especially because it’s is self appointed duty to keep you safe so if you insist on going with or without him, he supposes he’ll have to go)

Is definitely a bit tense at first. He doesn’t know how to let loose and chill so while you’re sun tanning on a beach chair he’s like 🧍‍♂️ahdgshjsjd

Eventually calms down a bit though! You get him to relax and eat some almond tofu you brought along with you. It definitely gets him to perk up.

I don’t think he would mind getting into the water but I do think he’d rather walk along the shore and collect pretty seashells and sea glass.

He later gives the ones he deems pretties to you (he hands them over to you with a blush on his face and pretends it’s not a big deal and he definitely gets all pouty and grouchy when you coo at how adorable he is)

As for creeps, Xiao is both intimidating and well known in Liyue. No one is brave enough (or, let’s be honest, dumb enough) to approach you with any bad intentions.

Sure, Xiao has sworn never to harm a human/citizen of Liyue but that doesn’t mean he can’t scare the absolute shit out of them.

I think Xiao would definitely enjoy a beach day 🥺🥺. He’d find it very relaxing to go out with you and just hear the sound of waves and feel the sand under his feet.

He’d definitely hint at wanting to do it again later. Of course, he won’t tell you. No, that’s a foolish mortal activity and he has much better things to do.

Wait no, don't turn around, yes he will go with you next month.

All in all, I give Xiao a 9/10. It’s a very relaxing day (which he deserves 😤). And you get to see a whole new side of him.

💎Ningguang:

OK SO ORIGINALLY I WASN'T GONNA WRITE ONE FOR HER (at least not in this post) BUT THEN I THOUGHT OF LADY NINGGUANG TAKING YOU TO A WHOLE ASS PRIVATE BEACH

She knows you don’t care about how exclusive the beach you go to is (in fact, the fact that you don’t care about where you are or what you do is one of the things that make her fall more and more madly in love with you) but you deserve the best so she’s gonna go all out.

She’s a busy lady so days like this where the two of you get to go somewhere and be together are few and far between.

She knows it’s hard to be in a relationship with someone who is busy 24/7, so she appreciates how you remain by her side despite all hardships. (Y’all are a whole ass power couple istg)

The two of you spend your day relaxing. Sun bathing, drinking piña coladas, maybe taking a dip in the ocean. It’s all very pleasant!

Ningguang doesn’t quite feel like the type of person who would sit in the sand and make sandcastle, however you’re more than welcome to make some yourself. She finds it endearing <3

If you insist on her helping, she’ll eventually comply. She loves you too much to say no. I feel like she’ll either be terrible at it or like a total architect.

Sand is technically like tiny rocks right? So maybe she can use her vision to help her? If that’s the case, she’s making a replica of the Jade chamber out of sand.

If any creepy person comes up to you don’t worry. Ningguang will buy the whole beach and then use her right of admission as owner to permanently ban them from the beach you’re at.

The only downside to a day at the beach with Ningguang might be that there’s a big chance she’ll be called to tend urgent matters, seeing as she is the Tianquan of the Liyue Qixing and all.

If that does happen, she’ll be sure to make it up to you somehow, whether it be rescheduling or taking care of the matter as soon as possible so that the two of you can get back to your day of relaxation and fun.

All in all?? Lady Ningguang will treat you like total royalty and the two of you will have an amazing time! I give her an 11/10 (she would literally buy a whole beach for you to be comfortable I mean c’mon)

🍃Venti:

BEACH DAYS WITH HIM ARE SO FUN!!

Swimming? Yeah, he’d love to! Sunbathing? Sure! He’ll ever conjure up a light breeze for the two of you. Sandcastle building? WELL OF COURSE WHY DO YOU THING HE BROUGHT ALL THESE BUCKETS AND SHOVELS?

No but seriously, he might be the best person out of everyone here to go to the beach with. He’s fun, free spirited, and he’s a traveling bard who’s been alive long enough to know where all the best beaches in Teyvat are. (He also knows a guy- er, well, dragon I suppose- who is willing to fly them to any place).

He’ll play some soft tunes while you doze under the sun.

HE PICKS PRETTY SHELLS AND GIFTS THEM TO YOU!!!

He will bring booze. I’m pretty sure this is a necessity. If you’re a little upset about it, he’ll probably “eheh~” his way out of it. That slick bastard.

If you really insist on him not drinking, he won’t consume much alcohol.

If some creepy person approaches you and tries to ruin you your day of beach time fun, all of their stuff will suddenly be blown away, causing them to scramble back to their spot and (almost embarrassingly) flail around trying to catch everything. What a shame…

At the end of the day, he’d be a little sad to leave. Definitely makes plans about tbe two of you going back soon.

I gotta give him a 10/10 he’s just so fun omg.

599 notes · View notes

woahsehun · 3 years

Text

♡ boyfriend mark ♡

just what I think mark might be like as a boyfriend

•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.••*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´

warnings: light swearing, mentions of religion??? idk if that needs to be a warning but I don’t wanna see ANY clowning of mark in the comments I will literally send jaehyun to hit you with a broom

disclaimer: obviously I don’t know mark lmao this is just for fun and if you disagree feel free to politely disagree elsewhere ♡ but I mean comment if you want idc just pls don’t be mean to me I’ll cry

I also tried to keep it gender neutral but I am new to writing these types of scenarios and stuff so if you notice anything that I should change feel free to let me know :)

now back to our regularly scheduled programming

•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.••*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´

okay I literally wrote this whole thing and then it disappeared in my drafts so •_•

sigh

anyways mark would be a really good boyfriend obviously (other than him being super busy)

the best friend type of boyfriend

this man would write songs about you and for you ALL.THE.TIME.

his notes app is basically reminders, bible quotes, poems, and unfinished lyrics about you

would also call you dude a lot

in a natural gender neutral kinda way (unless you expressed discomfort)

I shall provide an example scenario:

mark @ you: “dudeeeee look at this video I found”

johnny, later that day: “wait do you call your partner dude?”

mark: “…o_o yeah… why…?”

johnny: “haha, oh, no reason, just wondering”

mark would then proceed to try out different nicknames or pet names for you. it would probably feel weird at first, but if you both found you liked one then I think it would stick

would still call you dude sometimes tho

another thing - he would really love if you hung out with him and the boys. I think it would reassure him if you were comfortable around his friends and it would also show him that they like and trust you, which I think would be a big thing for him

on a more serious note - after hanging out with everyone, for example, when it’s later and more relaxing and y’all are alone would be a vital time to talk about deeper things

not necessarily anything super serious I mean the conversations would still be natural

idk why I’m nervous (maybe nctzens scare me, maybe not 👁👁) so I’m gonna say whatever I want - I think mark would really appreciate if he could talk to you about his faith and beliefs

I mean we kinda know how much his faith means to him and how it intertwines with his work so I think it’s safe to say this would affect his relationships as well

however, I also think he would love to hear about what your beliefs are whether you’re part of an organized religion or not because it’s a part of you, and that’s what he loves so

even if you disagreed he would still like listening to you and would respect your views (and would expect the same in return 😐 that’s right I’m watching you)

idk he seems like a good listener to me

back on a lighter note I wanna talk about a responsibility you have

you know those jokes he tells sometimes and the members (especially the dreamies) just go 👀? 👀? 👀?

MF YOU BETTER LAUGH

if you laugh at those idc if you’ve been dating for only one month he WILL fall in love with you end of story

next topic

mark plays guitar so expect that I’m sure it would be lovely

like if you’re together on a rainy day and can’t go out, aka bored, be ready for some guitar and lyrical freestyling

the type to play mad libs with you so you guys can turn it into a song and will probably try and convince you to perform it with him for the members

anyways y’all would best besties in love and that’s that :)

edit: SIKE, I’m back with more

I’ve been in my mark feels so I we might as well experience this together

he absolutely will not hesitate to rap battle you with no mercy

well, maybe he’d have a little mercy bc you’re just too cute, but he’d probably still win

idk what his love language is but I feel like he would appreciate words of affirmation in some way

he works so hard all the time so I think it would be special to him if you acknowledge that and praise him or tell him you’re proud of him

it’s just a clear and firm way to reassure him and for him to know that he’s doing something right

might be a little shy or cringe about outward affection in front of other people but hear me out with this scenario:

you wake up early/earlier than mark and just can’t help but get up to get some water/coffee/whatever you drink in the morning

so you’re in the kitchen maybe some other boys are meandering around doing their own things too

then, in all his sleepy glory, mark emerges from the warmth of his room. glasses on, his hair sticking out all different directions, and his hoody on slightly crooked

you get up out of your seat as he makes his way towards you

greeting him with a ‘good morning’ you run ur hands through his hair unintentionally smoothing it down in the process

now this man I’m betting is absolutely not paying attention, like he has just regained consciousness over here okay

so his response is kinda just a, “mmmhmhmmmm warmth”, as his body kinda just leans into yours

just remember to catch him bc if u don’t he’ll probably be on the floor lmaooo

I just think sometimes he gets too a point where he’s so tired that he almost forgets to care about being teased and stuff like that

like his hearing blocks out everyone else and in these moments all he sees, and all he wants to see, is you

…

I got real soft just then so I think I’m gonna go lay in a hole now thanks byeee ✌️

•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.••*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´

♡ welp that’s all I have for now so thanks to anyone who read this, and I hope everyone has a great day/night! ♡

(✿◕ ‿◕ฺ)ノ``` bye bye ```

214 notes · View notes

opluffys · 4 years

Text

Reverse Captain- Killer x Reader x Eustass Kid

okay okay this is like the last old story from my archive account that i’m posting here *maybe? lmao idk* :,). i’m head over heels in love with killer so i got like ten wips for him lololo. lowkey don’t like how this one turned out, but it’s a couple of months old so idc anymore hehe. anyway i hope you guys enjoy! oh, also sorry if the spacing looks weird, i was too lazy to go through the whole thing and edit it...

-smut/nsfw-

You felt deliciously full and sore, the quick sliding of your captain's cock against your tight walls nearly made you lose consciousness.

"Fuck... Kid..!" You yelled, feeling his girth stretch you.

He grunted behind you and continued to thrust into you wildly, almost as wild as that red hair of his, which was now stuck to his forehead.

Your breasts were flush against the table of his office, rocking back and forth, creating a wanted friction that fueled your desire.

It was no surprise that Kid was rough in bed, just one look at the man and pretty sure anyone could tell. But you just weren't ready for it all, the way his cock just hit every spot inside of you so perfectly... When he leaned down to nip your ear and leave harsh markings on your neck, you felt like you couldn't keep up with him.

You broke the eye contact you had with countless papers and unfinished works in progress on Kid's desk, and looked fervently for your sword. You took that damn thing with you everywhere you went, you would risk your own life for that sword.

When you finally made eye contact with that beautiful blue casing, your face illuminated, you quickly grabbed it, using the hilt of the sword to press against Kid's chest.

"What the fuck..." He started angry, then stumbling backwards onto a stray chair in the middle of the room that fell victim to you and Kid.

"I think you need to slow down a bit, Captain." You said, your voice like sweet honey as you sauntered over to where he was sat, straddling his thighs.

"So you used Sea Stone to tell me that?!" He snapped, about to get up before you pressed the hilt against him once again.

"Ah ah. Feisty are we? I think it's my turn to take charge for the night, don't you, my Captain?" You asked, raising your hips to line yourself up right against his shaft, teasing the redding head with your slick entrance.

"Damn woman..." He growled, trying to get up again, but you were barely faster than him, trailing the hilt of the sword all over his body, making him groan tiredly.

"I would fucking end you if you weren't such a good doctor." He grumbled, still attempting to take charge every few minutes, evidently failing.

"That's all I am? Your doctor?" You responded, faking a disappointment tone. You still continued to rub your folds teasingly over the painfully hard head of your captain.

He raised his hand and you raised your sword, he almost chuckled, instead sending a smirk your way.

"Relax, princess. If I still wanted to actually take charge, you would've been screaming my name over my desk years ago. I guess I'll let you dominate this one time, but next time," He leaned into your ear, nipping it and taking the sensitive cartilage into his mouth. "You're gonna be wishing that you had done it my way." He finished.

You gulped nervously, the tone of his voice nearly made you want to bend yourself back over that desk, forgetting the thoughts of ever wanting to dominate your captain ever again.

Kid let out booming laughter at your reaction, about to come up with a snarky retort, but he was soon silenced by a grunt of pleasure as you finally decided to lower yourself onto his hardened arousal.

"Oh, fuck... So tight..." He whispered, biting his lip as he tried to silence his sounds.

You shuddered noticeably as he filled you to the brim, no, even further than that. He never let you ride him before, because 'You're too slow.' as he said. But as of now, being slow worked in your favour, making the red haired captain begin to lose his cool, grunts and groans of frustration leaving his full painted lips.

"Oh! Oh Captain!! Yes!!" You yelled, feeling his strong arms just tightly wrapped against you and feeling his warm pants fanning across your equally warm face just did something for you.

"Keep talking like that... I won't fulfil my end of the deal." He panted, hands attached to your plush hips, grinding against him thoughtfully.

"That'd be a shame, Captain... Because next time, I'm up for whatever you wanna do. And I mean anything, Kid." You said, sultrily pulling him in and out of you, your wet insides protesting him pulling out every time.

That seemed to shut him up for a while.

"So I've been thinking." You started, bottoming out on his lap, hissing in pleasure after feeling so full. "Your first mate, Killer... He doesn't like me much?" You asked, warming his cock, leaning your forehead against his pectorals.

"I know how Killer ticks. He doesn't hate you or anything, just no reason to make conversation with you. Why do you ask?" Kid replied, unconsciously bucking his hips upwards once in a while, earning you to pull your sword out and poke him with it a couple of times.

"No reason. I just think he's kinda sexy. What's under that mask leaves my imagination running wild, ya know." You said playfully, using your agile hands to tweak and pinch every inch of his built torso.

"What are you really getting at, (First Name)." He said, tone now completely serious, and even though he was stilled inside of you, length twitching and just dying to ravage your insides, the captain's voice never faltered, remaining serious.

"Okay, maybe I daydream of being pinned under your first mate, childhood friend, whatever. But hey, I admit it that he's really, really hot. Okay, happy now, Eustass?" You groaned, hitting your head against his chest in embarrassment, ready for him to scream at you for wanting to have sex with his best friend.

"Okay."

"Yes, I deserve whatever punishment you think is fit- wait, what?" You paused, thinking that you didn't hear him properly.

"I was your first, but by no means were you mine. So if you wanna fuck another dude, at least do it when I'm gone, or some shit." He grunted, rolling his eyes when he saw your surprised expression.

"Fuck, Kid. Please bend me over and fuck me as hard as you want." You whimpered, feeling so pleased at his response.

"With pleasure, princess." He replied, sending a wicked grin your way, harsh hands attached to your sides.

You stood at the edge of the ship, waving goodbye to your captain, who stood alongside Heat and Wire, going into the next island that you all had drifted to.

The two of you decided to hatch up a not too great plan of leaving you and Killer alone on the ship, which was 'I leave with Heat and Wire to the next island, because I'm captain, I do whatever the fuck I want.' which, had actually worked out well.

He sent a shit eating smile your way, then turned around to take his leave, the two other men following their captain.

Killer stood by your side silently, he was never one for being chatty, you knew that much. You took a few looks at the man, his plain black shirt hugging his muscles so tight, that scar on his arm made you tighten your legs, feeling an undeniable warmth flood your senses. You continued your not so subtle stares, the way his blonde mane fell down his broad shoulders and framed his body looked phenomenal, and the only thing you couldn't see was that damn face of his. You stared at the dozen holes on the striped mask, almost like trying to see through it.

"Is something the matter?" He asked, sounding more like a statement than a question. You stiffened, looking upwards towards the blonde, feeling so small in his presence.

You didn't get to be in bed with Eustass Kid for feeling small, though.

"No, Killer." You said, dragging his name out from your tongue, walking closer to his stature. You leaned against his strong chest, a gentle hand laying on his rippling muscles.

"But I think that you have something the matter with me." You said, taking your hand off of him, giving him a sly smile.

"You must've imagined it." He replied coolly, walking away to his quarters, not even giving you a chance to further your attempt at a conversation.

You clicked your tongue and walked past Kid's lackeys, who were all staring at your ass while you passed by, going to wandering into the kitchen.

You turned your head to look at them, smiling at how painfully obvious they were being while gawking at you. If only Killer sent a single gaze your way like these men here, it'd make your job of seduction a lot easier.

You took a seat in the kitchen, a stray chair in front of the stove. You picked at your nails, desperately waiting for someone to scream for your help, claiming they've been injured and needed your help. Though it was a bit bad to wait for someone to become injured, it was your role to assist them.

You didn't know when, but you leaned your head over onto your hand and started to doze off for a while, only jolting awake when you heard the sound of running water from behind you.

"Finally awake?"

You turned to where the voice came from, swallowing hard when you saw that mess of blonde hair.

"There's a plate in front of you, if you're hungry." He said, continuing to wash dishes. Yes, of course you were hungry, but not for food.

You hummed softly, getting up to smooth your skirt and walk over to Killer, offering your hand to help. "Maybe later. How about some assistance?" You asked, settling next to him to dry the wet plates. He shrugged lightly, his blonde tendrils swaying along his strong shoulders. Oh, how you wanted to just grab onto those shoulders while he thrusted into you wildly, grunting and groaning in your ear how you took him so well-

"Here."

You snapped out of your daydreams and took the plate from him, drying it off and placing it onto the shelf.

The two of you sustained a steady rhythm of washing and drying for a while, until you accidentally had dropped a glass cup, seeming to smash into a million pieces upon impact.

"Shit." You mumbled, crouching down to pick up the glass with your bare hands, of course, a bad idea, but you weren't weak, you could take a few cuts as long as you cleaned the mess.

Killer stood silently behind you, admiring the view of you bent down, even though he really shouldn't be. He pulled you up by the arms, surprising you, nearly dropping the glass shards.

You looked at his mask with a perplexed look on your face, dropping the bits of glass into the trash bin, dusting your hands off.

Killer started walking over to you, and you, being confused of what he needed, continued to back up, until your back hit the wall.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to drop it or anything. Besides, I cleaned it up. We all good?" You asked, looking up at him.

"Why do you do this, (First Name)." He asked, grabbing your chin in his calloused hand, forcing your wandering eyes to peer into the mask.

"Do what?" You replied, resting your hand atop his sculpted arm, his muscle twitching at your touch.

"Make me want to pin you against the wall and fuck your brains out." He said, not moving his hand from your skin.

You froze in place, it seemed your job was easier than you had thought. "So do it, Killer." You smiled, tracing your hands over his strong torso.

"I can't." He answered, moving away from you, back to the sink to dry the rest of the dishes. You frowned, your painted lips then creating a flat line as you stood in thought.

"You can. I'm the captain's girl, right?" You said, walking behind him, trailing your nails through the material of the black shirt, feeling his muscles tense under you. "And you're captain when he's gone." You said, standing on your tippy toes to nip at his strong neck, leaving a barely visible mark behind.

You were sure you didn't even blink before you were over the counter, Killer's arm against your back, preventing you to move. A smile spread across your features, sighing contently as you felt his other hand squeeze and pinch along your clothed body.

"Mm, Killer..." You whimpered softly, grinding against his crotch. His breath hitched, but he easily retaliated, a loud hiss of pleasure leaving your lips as you felt a stinging sensation on your ass.

"I guess you're just like captain. Always wanting to take charge." You sighed, feeling the cool air hit your dripping cunt, accommodating the size of Killer's digits. "I guess so." He said, his gaze on how you took his three fingers.

You moaned loudly, biting your lip while shifting your weight from foot to foot, unable to take the torture any longer. "I didn't come here for your fingers." You grumbled, closing your eyes as he curled his fingers deep inside of you.

"Yeah, but this is probably the only time I'm going to be able to enjoy you. Gotta take it nice," He stopped, pulling his fingers out to circle your clit. "And slow." He finished. You were sure he was smirking underneath that mask.

"It doesn't have to be." You whimpered, backing your hips against him again, feeling his bulge rub against you. You heard him take a sharp inhale, contemplating whether to continue the teasing, or to just give in.

"Please." You begged, placing your forehead against the hard table.

And he had his answer.

The sound of a fumbling belt buckle behind you put a smile on your face. "Finally." You mumbled, feeling his tip press against your entrance. You bit your lip from letting out a scream as he suddenly filled you, a shaky sigh leaving Killer's lips.

"Ah... Fuck, Killer!" You panted, your hands grabbing the counter harshly. His tan arm lifted from you, now squeezing your hips tightly, pulling you back against him, relishing in your warmth.

"Killer... Fuck... You stretch me so good!" You yelled, moaning when you felt him fill you over and over again. "You're awfully quiet back there, am I not what you expected?" You said, a fake tone of sadness lacing your voice.

"Unlike you or Kid, I'm not so vocal." He responded, trying not to show the strain on his voice, even when you were wrapped so tightly against him, your pussy dragging him in deeper and deeper with every thrust. "You're even better than I thought, (First Name)." Killer said, pushing himself into you deeper than what you thought possible.

"Isn't this position boring? Why don't you pin me against the wall and fuck my brains out like you proposed? You can even have me do the work and ride you, or even-" You were cut off when your mouth was filled with Killer's long fingers, taking your tongue between them. "You know, you make a good point. I can't see the faces you're making." He said, pulling out of you slowly.

"Why don't we go somewhere more, private." He said, his deep voice making your legs shake. You nodded fervently, pulling your panties up and adjusting your skirt. You tried to take a step forward, but your wobbly knees betrayed you, nearly making you fall down until Killer took your hand, pulling you up gently. "We weren't even going for that long." He said, making sure that you could stand before letting you go. "You're big, what do you expect?" You mumbled, rolling your eyes.

When you were stable, you tried taking another step under Killer's gaze. Again, you failed and your hands flew to his extended arm. He sighed audibly and lifted you up, carrying you like a bride. "What a gentleman." You giggled, your hand wrapping around his neck softly. He didn't reply as he started walking back to his room, obviously attracting stares along the way.

"Killer..." You whimpered, feeling his cock push against your womb, making you see stars. Your back was against the cool wall, seeming to steal the warmth that radiated off of you. "You're tight even when you and the captain go at it everyday..." He grunted, his hips snapping against yours. You would've laughed if you weren't pinned against the wall getting fucked. "Yeah, sorry about that... I know I can get a little, ya know..." You said timidly, a warmth settling on your cheeks after getting called out for being so loud.

"I've always wondered what your lips feel like." You sighed, feeling him stretch you so good. "Not today, (First Name)." He said, biting his lip softly, trying not to let out too much noise, even though you couldn't even hear him. "Come on, Killer. All I've wanted to see was your face the second I joined the crew, and that was years ago, that says something." You said, trying to sound angry, but that was seemingly impossible with a huge cock inside of you.

Killer seemed to stand still in thought, wondering if he could actually show you his face. He didn't hold any negative feelings toward you, but he wasn't sure if he trusted you enough. "And if I do..?" He asked, not moving any longer, his cock deep inside of you. "If you do, then I most definitely think that we would enjoy ourselves much more." You replied, hands squeezing his strong shoulders tightly. He made a sound of disapproval as he pulled out of you again, walking away from you. You barely stood, only with help of a chair next to you were you able to stand.

A confused face took over your gentle features, pondering if you had said or did something wrong. "Damn it, how the fuck did I mess this up so badly..?" You sighed, starting to gather your clothes slowly, silently wishing Killer was here to help you out. It was the least he could do if he didn't want you anymore.

"(First Name), do me a favour." You heard him, he was out of view, for some reason. You hummed, signalling that you heard him. "Close your eyes, just for a little while." He said, his voice coming closer to where you stood. You complied, used to taking orders, especially on a ship where Eustass Kid was captain.

You felt a rougher hand tangle with your soft one, leading you somewhere. You trusted Killer, but you had no clue what he was going to do.

You were stopped for a moment, then brought down onto muscled thighs, your hand still tightly wrapped with Killer's. It took you a moment to realise that you were straddling his thighs, your cheeks adapting a sudden warmth at the intimate pose you two held.

You felt warm lips against yours, your abdomen knotted tightly at the feeling. His tongue softly pushed against your own, his lips tangling within your own in a fierce dance, the two of you seemingly unable to get enough of each other.

Your hand still laced with Killer's, you squeezed it harder unconsciously, feeling your lungs start to burn after not inhaling enough oxygen. Your open hand wandered lower, tracing Killer's strong abs and his beautiful V-line, finally finding his rock hard length, your hand softly pumping it when he released your lips with a groan.

"Fuck, (First Name)... Just like that..." He whispered, his pants warming your face. His breath smelled of a cool mint, opposing your captains fierce cinnamon scent.

Your eyes were still shut, though you were dying to take a small peek, you were sure he was just as beautiful as the rest of his body.

You continued your ministrations while Killer ravaged your soft lips, his lipstick mixing with yours. Any time while the two of you locked lips, you felt his cock twitch in your hands, obviously wanting to be back inside of your warmth. You subtly raised your hips, lining his cock up with your entrance. Just as you started to lower yourself, Killer thrusted his hips forward, sheathing himself inside of you quickly. You yelled against his lips, separating the two of you.

He would've laughed if he didn't dislike doing so. "You know I can see what you're doing, right?" He asked, his harsh tone of voice seeming to disappear.

"S-Shut your damn mouth..." You whispered, closing your eyes tighter than they already were. You opened your mouth to speak once again, but you were silenced by a pair of lips against yours once again. It was as if he couldn't get enough of you, each kiss was like air to him, his lungs burning like a fire until your cool lips met with his scorching ones. It was weird how you were the one who wanted to kiss him so bad, but he was the one who kept initiating it.

He pulled back from you, leaving your lips slightly agape and stinging, a sensation that was welcomed by you. "You can open your eyes now." He sighed, worried about how you'd react.

Your (eye colour) eyes strained open, the light making it hard to fully open them on command. You squinted, then little by little opened them fully, eyes resting on Killer's tanned chest, your mouth wanting to leave markings on the skin. You just realised that your hand still laid on top of Killer's gently, you muttered a quick apology and looked up at him, your eyes meeting his.

Your mouth hung open slightly, seeing his blonde hair fall into his face perfectly, his long eyelashes tickling his strong cheekbones, his full lips swollen after meeting your own countless times.

"So handsome..." You mumbled, seemingly forgetting that he was still inside of you. You noticed his cheeks get warmer, as you sent him a small smile.

"Thank you."

He looked at you, confusion written all over his pretty features. "For?" He asked, his now free hand caressing your hips, tracing small shapes with his tall fingers.

"For trusting me... I know we never talk, but I trust you as much as Captain." You sighed, your forehead against his chest. "And well, obviously the other two." You laughed, referring to Heat and Wire.

He didn't know what to say, but he began to feel slightly bad. "Why did you never talk to me, anyway? When I first joined you used to at least make small talk with me, but then it stopped." You said, looking up at him with an undeniable sadness in your eyes. He sighed, averting his stare. "I knew something like this were to happen if I continued to talk to you. When you and Kid became a thing, I had to back off, respect that you were his, or the temptations would overcome me someday." He said, returning his gaze to you.

You hummed, satisfied with the answer. "At least you don't hate me." You said, raising your hips to be able to kiss him again, lips against his own with fierce intent.

"Please fuck me, Killer." You whimpered, unable to take just his stationary cock inside of you any longer. He didn't respond back to you, but began to assist you in moving on top of him, your arms resting against his shoulders as you started to bounce on him, his cock going inside and out with such a lewd sound.

Killer's hands gripped your hips tightly, lifting you onto him easier than if you were doing it alone. "Fuck..." He groaned, feeling your fleshy walls tighten around him, warmth over flooding his entire being.

You felt him push against the spot that nearly induced you into a deep unwanted sleep, letting out a loud moan, unable to form words to tell him to keep hitting that spot.

He knew what angle to go out now, abusing your wet walls with every snap of his hips. He moved his hand lower to circle your clit slowly, hearing you give a wanton whisper of his name fuelled his need to make you finish around him.

You felt your leg twitch as you felt your inevitable release creep up on you. Your moans and whimpers grew to a higher pitch, with a raise of your hips, Killer met your lips against his once again, you never growing tired of the feeling. One more deep thrust inside of you, and you couldn't take it, accidentally screaming into Killer's open lips, you separated from his mouth and whimpered again as you came around him, your arousal dripping down onto his erection and onto the both of your thighs.

He continued to lazily drill into you, filling you to the brim until he was satisfied. He bit his lip as you tightened onto him harshly, almost like not wanting to let go. You moaned his name, feeling sensitive with every move.

"So fucking good." He whispered to himself, getting lost in your soft insides. He too felt release coming sooner than he thought. You were just so good around him, smaller than him and still able to take him better than initially thought.

A few more thrusts and he pulled out, grunting softly as he came on your stomach, thick white ropes of his sticky seed on your naked body.

He got up to bring you a towel, finally feeling the after effects on him, collapsing onto the bed beside you gently. You smiled, your lipstick was slightly smeared and your hair was tousled messily. You cleaned yourself up and laid next to him, locking lips again softly, feeling him being so gentle with you made you feel like you could take him again right then and there.

His eyes were on yours after you backed up from the kiss, a smile on your face as you closed your eyes.

"I could get used to this."

#one piece x reader #one piece #one piece smut #eustass kid #killer #one piece killer #eustass kid x reader #killer x reader #fanfic #smut

358 notes · View notes