#I know some media has situations like multiple endings where no one ending is considered the “canon” one where this can get messy

[sciencegeniusgirlshowdown]

Can we submit Genderfluid Science Geniuses?

I'd say my stance is that, if a character wouldn't mind being referred to as a girl at least part of the time, they're definitely permitted! Speaking from the perspective of a nonbinary person (though not specifically a genderfluid person) I know I wouldn't be the most comfortable if I myself was submitted to an explicitly gendered poll like this, but I know that that take won't be the same for everyone! So if a character is generally comfortable with being lumped in with women then I wouldn't have an issue with it at all! If their preference when it comes to how they're acknowledged is vague, I may open up a preliminary asking for voters familiar with them their thoughts on whether it'd be respectful to the character for them to be included.

I will add that, with the current number of unique submissions already nearing the 128 limit with the submission period still having a ways to go, there's a chance that they may be one of the characters that doesn't make the cut in the end. If they don't, please know that it's not because of any phobic sentiments on mod's part! While I'd love to include every character sent to me, at the end of the day some will be facing the chopping block. If I do decide to run another SGGShowdown bracket sometime after this one ends, I'm like, 99% sure that I'll make it so characters that were solely rejected from the first bracket due to being at capacity would take up the first however many slots of the second bracket.

With all that being said, I'd definitely submit them if you think they wouldn't mind being a part of something like this! I'm worried it may sound like I'm already planning on rejecting them, but I promise that's not the case! I haven't decided exactly how I'll be picking which valid submissions get to be in the limited number of slots and which don't yet, so I just wanted to get that little disclaimer out of the way!

[angelyuji]

yandere bruce wayne headcanons

yandere bruce wayne x gn!reader

warnings: yandere behavior, gross guy bruce wayne, kidnapping, stalking, power imbalance, rich guy uses his rich guy money to manipulate reader, creepy guy being a creepy guy lol (lmk for anything i might've missed i am half-asleep)

im thinking ill write some actual fanfics for him soon, idk what TO write tho...

STALKKKERRRR STALEKER SJALKER STALKER!!!

he is a creature of the night so u KNOW he’s watching you from a rooftop next to ur apartment

think of the scene in the batman when he’s watching Selina undress and stuff yeah hes a peeper (hes so fine i love bruce)

my man doesn’t have any superpowers BUT hes literally the freaking batman, he has cameras all over gotham so i promise he has eyes on you at all times

he’ll watch over you and make sure ur not gonna get mugged by some loser with a gun or get caught up in a joker/ivy/freeze/whomever scheme

like hes stalking you

he knows everything abt u too with WE and the Batcomputer (lol) he’ll have all ur personal info on file, ur twitter acc, your Instagram, any social media, literally everything on a separate file that is locked behind multiple passwords and eye scans (especially if we’re looking at bruce with kids like he knows they’d open the file and snoop)

if we’re looking at pattinson!batman/early years, he’s probably gonna write abt u in his diary journal (hes just a silly little guy)

he’ll try to give you a job at wayne enterprises to keep an eye on you as bruce (obvi becuz he cant be batman 24/7) (job depends on your experience and degree) (he’ll want u as a personal assistant or something but depending on your area of expertise… you’re probably not gonna accept lol)

if u do accept for a position as assistant/secretary, he’ll have your desk 3 ft away, he’ll be calling u into his office just to talk, basically like sort of training u to be his wife (get coffee, make lunch/get lunch, invite u to be his plus one for galas) all that jazz, he’ll flirt with u but ur gonna be like “oh that’s just brucie wayne being brucie wayne, but once u get comfortable in ur role, he’ll start making moves like hand on the lower back, pressing against u in any situation possible, he’ll never seem creepy (yet) but it’ll make u slightly uncomfortable considering he’s ur boss.

i can think of 2 possibilities that could occur

1. creepiest boss ever. he’ll order u how to dress to be his assistant/how to dress at galas (skimpy dresses, short skirts, tight pants, tight fitting dress shirts that exposes everything, shit like that), he’ll LEER at u like bruce will purposely drop stuff and make u pick it up so he can watch u bend over. like the worst. you’ll get tired of this behavior and quit and bruce will get angry and kidnap u

2. still creepy but not as bad. more like extravagant gifts, vacations, parties. he’ll still flirt and try to have as much physical contact with u as possible but he knows where to draw the line. you wouldn’t quit cuz yk great pay, okay boss. but like his feelings would get too much to contain and he’ll kidnap u in the end anyway

if i had to diagnose the batmans i care abt id sayyyy 1 is Affleck, 2 is bale, and Pattinson is a mix of both. comic batman has so many different writers and each run has a different personality for him saur depends on the writer lmao

u wouldn’t be able to date cuz of yk…….. WE rules………… but he’ll get tired of that taboo/secret relationship bs pretty quickly and just kidnap u

if u don’t accept a position as an assistant/secretary, he gets it but more than likely, his feelings for u will intensify and he’ll end up taking you to keep at wayne manor

before getting into when ur stuck at wayne manor, lets break down bruce’s thoughts abt u

he has put u on a PEDESTAL

ur amazing, beautiful, gorgeous, u. can. do. no. wrong.

in his mind, ur the light to his darkness

alfred totally enables him and if we’re talking dilf bruce, the kids learn from him so they just assume this is what love is, kidnapping and manipulation

you’d adjust to life at wayne manor (not quickly but yk mf is RICH, ur gonna be treated so well once u understand that u cant leave)

bruce wouldn’t torture u but he’d pavlov u for sure

you would only be given comfort and relief when ur around him/good to him

if ur not good, then he’d probably keep u locked up in the batcave or in any of the many empty rooms at the manor

bruce wayne is the most powerful and influential person, ANDD has THE most powerful people on the planet as his best friends… you’re stuck with him babes

[purpleangelsele]

When Season 5 of stranger things comes out, I can guess how loud certain toxic shippers will get. Because they feel like the show hinges on the basis of queer representation and how it would be such good rep for childhood bestfriends who become lovers and they’re both gay. No sign of bi or pan here just full out gay representation.

And that’s okay to wish for that sort of representation in the media you consume. Especially in a huge show like stranger things. However, considering the genre of the show-good gay rep is not really focused on amongst everything else that happens. There’s multiple storylines that involve themes of children growing up too fast, found family, would die for the ones you love, family dynamics, being a nerd or a freak, afraid of coming out, a positive reaction to a coming out, death, gore, guilt, depression, suicidal tendencies, trauma…you see where I’m going with this.

It’s not the duffer brothers responsibility to also formulate a very hidden gay storyline that only shows one of them having feelings. The show would explicitly show romance between two people like how Robin is shown through dialogue and actions how she feels towards Vickie.

There was also some tension because she doesn’t think Vickie was anything but straight. We saw Vickie being kissed by her boyfriend but the show also pans to the way she reacts to Robin being there.

It reminds me of season 2 when Steve kissed Nancy in front of Jonathan who left like Robin which then left Nancy/Vickie staring after them with a sort of guilt. They were captured in the show explicitly so the audience doesn’t need to form such complex theories on how Jonathan and Robin felt in those situations, they both thought it was unrequited love but the camera panning back to Nancy/Vickie’s face suggests otherwise.

I thought that was good storytelling and ties in with how the show treats romance. They don’t shy away from seemingly unrequited love to actually mutually requited love. It’s clearly shown so the audience can easily make those assumptions.

Now back to the main point. The toxic shippers of a certain ship will most likely label this show as terrible gay rep when season 5 airs. They would have theorized every single frame, lighting, clothing choices, dialogue, “parallels”, and how season 5 would go. Though, all of this will not bode well for them. I’m only saying this specifically about toxic shippers!! They are the ones that will start raging on season 5 for not giving Will a happy ending which means being in a relationship with his bestfriend, (who by the way is in a very committed relationship with the protagonist) forget his mental health and his hopes for the future, forget his sister, don’t even mention the possibility of him being the closeted gay who has an unrequited love.

I know seeing unrequited love can become stale at some point but I feel like it’s good to see how normal it is. Most people can relate to that feeling of not having your feelings returned and that fucking hurts. But it does not dictate your happiness, someone not liking you back doesn’t mean you can not move on. It will hurt like hell but it is achievable with time. Being friends can still be achieved when the other person understands and does not make things incredibly awkward. I’m saying this because knowing the show, Will is not going to be with the one he loves and that will hurt of course, but considering there’s a timeskip…I think he will be happy because his life does not center around this one person. He has other friends, interests, family, hopes and dreams. And maybe he won’t get into a relationship until way later, that’s perfectly fine and should be normalized. His mental health should be the first priority as well, considering all of what he went through in the show.

I know so many will call it queer baiting but Robin and Vickie aren’t. They are actually being built up and Vickie is possibly pan or bi representation. Robin is a legit lesbian and she can actually be herself around Steve who in my opinion is her queer-platonic soulmate. There is good rep in this show but I wouldn’t count on the gay storylines to be 100% fleshed out considering there isn’t enough time for that.

But I’m sure there’s other shows if you look hard enough, that has the actual gay representation that you want. There’s so many shows that center only on the love between two guys or two girls. You just have to find them.

Stranger things might disappoint with that unrequited love storyline but life is just like that, most times things don’t go the way you want, romances are not smooth sailing, your heart will get broken. In my opinion, that aspect is realistically shown in the show. And I know that not all shippers will think this, I’m only saying this to the loud, jobless, chronically online ones.

Honestly, I hope you take away atleast something valuable from this post. I’m not that articulate in my thoughts because my mind goes faster than my fingers. I just wanted to share this and hopefully some people connect to what I said.

-Sel💜💜

[josephthropp]

Breaking the social media hiatus to say how disheartening the whole chuggaaconroy situation. Not for his sake, because fuck him, but for the people he abused that had to face abuse from people who formed a paradoxical relationship with chuggaaconroy to the extent that they will excuse literally anything he does. I can't even feel that sympathetic with them because I was in a similar situation of liking his content as a kid who liked seeing another autistic creator talk about my interests, but that didn't develop into me forming a one-sided relationship where I assumed I knew things about him. I understood he carefully manufactured a specific personality for presenting via social media, as all creators do. As such, it wasn't impossible for to think he did the awful things he did because I knew I didn't actually know him. People are continuing to act like he's not responsible for what he did, though, even after multiple different people come out with evidence about what's he's been doing over the course of over a decade, and with women and girls as young as 15. That's only the people we know about, too. The worst factor to me is that those stories were corroborated by several people after the initial remarks of Lady Emily, who spoke up because she saw that the way people were idolizing him was the reason he was able to get away with what he was doing for so long. People acted like he was so positive and wholesome, and therefore let him get away with things that were the opposite. It's doubly awful that people then accused her of trying to take him down specifically because of his autism, trying to make this some sort of anti-ableist crusade when she is also autistic, and therefore fully aware that his autism was not an excuse for his behavior. Still, even as her stories have been corroborated by, again, MULTIPLE people, there are still those who continue to act like that fact isn't relevant. They'll cop to the fact that he abused those other people, but then still dismiss and dehumanize Lady Emily. That's really ironic considering that, in masaeanela's recount of her experience, she mentioned not speaking up about the issues prior because she didn't want to rock the boat and put herself at the mercy of chuggaaconroy's fans attacking her. It's sad how understandable that assumption ended up being. Even when you come out about an experience you faced at the hands of a popular YouTuber, one corroborated by multiple other women, you can still be called a liar, a bitch, a sadist, and so much worse. We all know why, too. The fact that an autistic trans woman is getting so much more scrutiny than other women who have spoken up about this is honestly very painful to see as someone who is trans, autistic, and who has experienced this same abuse.

Please understand what your favorite YouTubers are; strangers. You do not know them, and they do not know you. You are only ever seeing a carefully maintained facade they chose to present to an audience via scripts and editing. If you can't hold them accountable for the bad things they did, how can you expect other people to hold everyday nobodies accountable too

[lunamond]

I want to preface this with the disclaimer that I really like Rheanyra. This is not meant as a way to bash her character or minimise the way she, as a woman in Westeros, has been harmed and discriminated against.

However, I have a lot of trouble with how Rheanyra, especially in relation to Alicent, has been discussed in the fandom, for that purpose I will analyse young Rheanyra and focus on her personal flaws (sth that I consider essential to good characterisation).

There is a big trend for audiences to latch onto a favourite character and perceive the entire story through that lens. Everything that benefits this singular character is good everything that inconveniences them is bad. (This is of course is not an issue exclusive to hotd)

As side note: I don’t think this is necessary a problematic way to engage with media, as long as you're capable of recognising that other people will engage differently nor prescribe moral value to real life people based on who they chose to root for.

However, once you start analysing the show critically this method starts becoming very flawed. Alicent as a character especially suffers a lot in these interpretations.

(This does also go in the other direction as well, with people twisting the story in way to bash Rheanyra in favour of Alicent)

It is baffling to me at times, looking at the distorted way some people engage with young Alicent and Rheanyra, and this weird need to portray Alicent as villanous or scheming from the very beginning.

(While I personally love Alicent as character young and grown-up, I'm aware that she, especially as an adult, doesn’t appeal to everybody, which is why I focus for this on young Alicent)

So, let's actually look at the first 3 Episodes and analyse Alicent and Rheanyra's relationship.

Episode 1: Alicent and Rheanyra are totally in love best friends. Rheanyra is the more impulsive one who doesn't always like the duties that come with her status as princess, while Alicent is the more anxious one who cares a lot about her and Rheanyra's responsibilities.

This is ultimately the last time Alicent and Rheanyra were on good terms, without anything standing between them. So both their perception of each other will always be coloured by this prior relationship and the intimate understanding they had of each other when they were still 14 years old.

Episode 2: Alicent has been ordered to keep her inappropriate meetings with the king a secret, Rheanyra is starting to feel the pressure of being the heir. At the end, the betrothal is announced, which ultimately leads to the break up of their prior relationship.

Episode 3: Their relationship has been in shambles for almost 3 years at this point. (Aegon's 2nd name day + 9 months pregnancy + whatever length of time passed between Ep2, the wedding and the start of the pregnancy)

Alicent repeatedly makes overtures to Rheanyra in an attempt to repair their relationship, which Rheanyra continuously shots down (sth that presumably has happened multiple times over the last years).

It also bears mention that even in moments when Rheanyra is not present Alicent still defends Rheanyra's claim to the throne. She does this both in private, as well as publicly.

This is one of those situations that perfectly demonstrate Rheanyra's character flaws.

While this is a very difficult situation to navigate from Rheanyra's position, her former girlfriend, who has now become her stepmother has given birth to a son who puts her own position into question.

She also is slowly growing up and becoming increasingly aware of the reality of what the expected role of a young noble women means in her society.

This is a lot of stress for a teenage girl to deal with, and you know what, I get it.

As a teenager, I personally have been quite unpleasant to be around in much less stressful situations.

However, as far as her treatment of Alicent goes, this is where a lot of my sympathy ends, because no matter what your personal opinion on adult Alicent and her actions might be, THIS Alicent has done none of these.

Alicent is a childbride, who has been martially raped, and put through teenage pregnancy (twice at this point!).

By cutting her off for this, Rheanyra is essentially punishing the victim of her father’s crime.

It is pretty clear that she redirects the hurt and betrayal she feels onto Alicent, because ultimately in the context that both of them grew up Alicent is the easier party to blame.

Rheanyra is definitely not on great terms with Viserys either, however she is still willing to engage with him.

So, yes, Rheanyra is isolated and feels lonely. She tells Viserys that:

"Nobody is here for me"

But she is actually wrong.

Alicent is there for her.

Alicent repeatedly tries to connect with her. She supports Rheanyra, she does so when they are with lady Redwyne, she pushes back against Otto's attempts to push Aegon as heir, she talks with Viserys ensuring that Rheanyra will have the free choice for her future consort.

It is especially ironic, when this last act becomes part of the reason Rheanyra and Viserys reconcile at the end of the episode, while Alicent remains estranged.

It is also quite interesting, how Rheanyra refers to Aegon as Alicent Hightower's son, essentially distancing herself from both of them. Further illustrating the way in which she is completely unwilling to engage with either of them.

Despite this little bit of agency afforded to Rheanyra, she is still expected to take a husband and bear children. This is of course, especially traumatic for her considering her mother's fate.

However, every single girl born to a noble family in Westeros lives under these same unfair conditions, including Alicent.

Rheanyra and Alicent actually do have quite a lot of parallels, both being young girls who feel alone and isolated at court, both their mothers dead and both having complicated relationships with their fathers.

And while it is not enough to free her from these restraints this misogynistic society placed on her, Rheanyra occupies a very privileged position.

She is royalty, a literal princess who has the distinct advantage of being named heir to the throne and future ruler of the the 7 kingdoms.

(Viserys did do a pisspoor job of actually preparing and supporting her for this role, though)

The most glaring embodiment of Rheanyra's privilege however is Syrax.

She has a literal flying weapon of mass destruction at her beck and call.

A privilege no other non-Targaryen noble women has. (Except for Laena)

So, yes, Rheanyra is still subject to misogyny, but Syrax provides her with a certain level of security no one else can claim, because if it is ever necessary she will always be able to relie on a show of force via dragon (which we see demonstrated in ep2).

All of this reveals the inherent tragedy that is at the core of the narrative.

Alicent and Rheanyra are both condemned to the same fate. They both are forced into marriage/s and the role of motherhood, they are robbed of their girlhood, lost their mothers and were subject to their father's whims, and ultimately in history both will be relegated to the role of mother and wife to much more important men.

Rheanyra struggled and fought against unequal traditions to hold the highest position of power anybody (men or woman) could hold, but still she falls victim to the patriarchy.

Alicent who does her duty, plays by the system and rises to the highest position acceptable for a woman to hold, being the mother to a male heir, will still ultimately be torn down by the patriarchy.

This is the only fate any woman can expect in the patriachical system that exists in Westeros, no matter how pious or rebellious she was.

But the most tragic part in all of this is the fact that, despite their shared plight Rheanyra and Alicent's relationship had to be sacrificed for the sake of this senseless struggle instead of allowing them the comfort of each other.

[dc-polls]

DC Comics "They Would Not Fucking Say That!" Poll Tournament

Tournament & Submission Rules

Hello and welcome to our very first tournament! By popular demand, the theme of this competition is "They would not fucking say that!"

This means we are looking for dialog or an action from official DC source material that is painfully, woefully, egregiously out of character (ooc). Let's call this the "Incident". You will need to describe the incident, provide the in-universe context for it, and make a case for why this is ooc.

How and when can I submit?

Enter by filling out this Google form: Click Here

Submissions open as soon as this post goes live, which is Saturday August 12.

Submissions close Wednesday August 23, at 11:00pm EDT (same time zone as New York).

What kind of incident can I submit?

You may submit any single exchange of dialog or single action that occurred in official DC media by a DC character. It must be specific and concise, and not a general overarching way that a character or storyline is handled. You will have a whole "go off" type of section to explain, so save the context and arguments for that. The incident itself should be fairly specific!

Dialog doesn't have to be one single sentence, but do your best to keep it to only the ooc part and be as brief as possible.

Even though the theme of this tournament has "say" in it, we are allowing actions, decisions, etc. Again, keep it to only the ooc portion.

Can I submit more than one incident?

Yes! Just keep in mind to submit only the most heinous of ooc situations.

Note: Multiple entries for the same incident won't affect its standings. But I will do my best to combine the info so that each submitter's voice is heard.

Is this limited to print comics?

No, any DC property is allowed, but keep in mind that you should be clear when making your case if the incident was ooc for that particular incarnation of the character, or if it's relative to comics canon.

You will have to specify what medium or universe they are from. Examples include Arrowverse, DCAU, Webtoon, Post-Flashpoint comics, etc.

How is the bracket handled?

It is very likely we'll have a preliminary round to help with seeding. This would be an opportunity to let the community weigh in on adherence to the theme and interpretation of the incident.

If there is not a preliminary due to low number of entries, and if the submitted incidents seem about evenly weighted, we will go with random seeding.

The tournament will be single elimination. If we somehow get an exorbitant number of submissions, we may do a multi-armed bracket with round robin for the finalists. More detail will be provided here if this happens.

At the moment there is not a set schedule, and pacing will depend on number of entries. So your best bet on catching the next wave of polls is to follow this blog.

Polls will run for seven days each so that there's plenty of time to vote, share and discuss in the reblogs.

Voters should only consider how much of a character assassination the incident is. This means your love or hate for a writer, story or character should not be the deciding factor for your vote.

Can I send in propaganda for an incident once polls are live?

If you want to bolster the argument for an incident being ooc, put it in a reblog! This way it stays with the poll and everyone knows where to look for some extra info.

It is not recommended to send asks with propaganda, as these end up getting buried.

Is there a tag for this tournament?

Yes! All polls for this tournament will be tagged with #dc-polls-twnfst

What if I have more questions?

Chances are if you have a question, others may be wondering the same thing, so don't hesitate to send an ask! If something in this post needs clarification let me know and I will edit it.

With how tumblr works, if you'd like to ask something privately you will have to do so off of anon. Be sure to request a direct response so I don't post your ask.

[fictionfixations]

jaehee best route presentation

this is just me jokingly dunking on mysme's other routes and pointing out the weird and wacky shit that happened in comparison to jaehee's significantly more tame route (because i love her route. we stan jaehee in this household.)

meant to make a presentation cause a bunch of friends were getting together to make some dumb af presentations but im procrastinating

anyway ive never played deep story or another story mode. and the only routes ive actually played are jaehee's and yoosung's. i cant be bothered to do anyone else's (the notifs get so annoying. im the type of person who sometimes spends whole days in a row desiring me time and being all alone. so guess what when you give me a game thats basically like a messenger in which you have to actually interact by then? its like. actually socializing! which no. it hit my social limit and i just stopped trying after multiple bad endings trying to actually get to zens lol)

since im not gonna be showing off my presentation (because ah.. socialization.. and two, now im kind of scared i might trigger someone..?)

so. here.

MAJOR MYSTIC MESSENGER SPOILERS

its a gif..

[ Content warning: Swears, possibly triggering content, uh. Mention of bombs, death (faked su//cide), possible implied in//est thoughts (he doesn’t harbor those thoughts I don’t think, but it can still be the impression he gives off), ..mention of s*x maybe?, kidnapping, held captive, weird shit that’s meant to be kinky but actually comes off as really creepy, INACCURATE PORTRAYAL OF PEOPLE WITH MENTAL ILLNESSES, cringe, false reporting / negative media, captivity, yandere ending sob??, and ill add more if i can think of more - and torture. I wont go indepth but ill mention it. …beastiality? Just remembered headbang. I dont think its said but ppl kinda see the implications of it i think. ..ive never played his route so i have no clue | is cucking a trigger??? I dont..>>>????? / sexual implications probably  | mentions of S/A. It doesnt happen but a character falsely accuses another to ruin their reputation, toxic relationships ]

thats it lmfao

what i was going to continue with:

jumin. so. you know that bad ending where you're basically kept in his house and he puts trackers in your shoes so you can only walk as far as like the kitchen away from him and doing so alerts him and shit?? and its played off as being some kinky shit i think but like hello? (also i think. it was either him or saeran, but we fuck in the basement he has trauma in??)

(i mean theres also the thing with his cat. the 'i'll treat you like my pet' or something like that line?? i dont remember. or zen having a dream that elizabeth his cat was running away so he locked her up even worse so then when he opened the door she ran??)

707 is the most story-depth i think, the one ppl consider canon. in which. crazy shit probably happens there with the obligatory kidnapping and bomb threat. i honestly cant remember i didnt even go to his page to check . altohugh i think theres an ending where saerans is like 'give me a hug'. 707 does. then saeran kills him. which. oof…. poor guy. or its revealed who their dad is and basically bad things happen i think?

saeran/ray/unknown. inaccurate depiction of mental disorders or something like that (not meant to offend with wording, but i can never remember the names of shit). it was like.. we first get to know ray whose the nicer one. and then there's saeran whose an absolute asshole. there was something like 'if you dont listen something bad will happen' (which is apparently something his mom said to him or something like that?) very sucky situation

V. cucking??? IDFK wtf

V's CELL?

DRUGGed. from. RAY's. TORTURE. okay. okay.

(someone explain to me whats going on in that ending where we're cucking, im so confused)

ah...

so. yknow. jaehee's route is significantly more tame. and relaxing. and stress relieving imo.

the end

[chibishortdeath]

Alright I’ve thought about it a bit, let’s rant about just how horrifying the curse Simon was afflicted with would be! Consider this like a part one of sorts for Simon’s Quest analysis stuff cause I could talk about this one game for hours on end—

I’m gonna put a cut here because warning ⚠️ descriptions of decay, gorey stuff, disease, and some pretty bad mental effects. Stay safe guys, don’t read further if you can’t handle those topics!

I’ve seen multiple different descriptions of it from different media and manuals, but, just from this little line alone, this is already a pretty awful fate for the guy. High emphasis on the word decay. That in itself can imply a lot of different things, sometimes all at once. And keep in mind too, he’s had this over the course of 7 years. Simon is probably already an absolute wreck from this wayyyyy before the game even starts.

First of all, getting hit on the back is a bad spot for any kind of infection or spreading disease (closest irl counterpart). That’s awfully close to a lot of vital things you don’t want something spreading to including the spine, lungs, heart, etc etc. Especially for deeper cuts because we’re talking Dracula level injury here, not like a paper cut or something. Hell, too deep of a hit on the back might cause some nerve damage, not to the extent of paralysis in his case, but general chronic pain from a wound that won’t heal properly is uhhh… not great. :( I’ve also seen some media say that the curse causes wounds to not heal, bleeding, the American manual even mentions it effecting the soul, awful stuff. I generally like to think “Bloody Tears” is referring to Simon tbh.

Another thing, with afflictions that cause decay generally the smaller appendages start getting hit hard with it first. It’s the same way for a lot of other conditions; fingers, toes, earlobes, anything protruding like that because the body considers them lowest priority in a survival situation like that and it wouldn’t kill you to lose them. Necrosis especially has things start turning ruddy colors, blacken, and start forming holes in the layers of skin (@ @ ;). Obviously this alone is excruciating. Poor dude has to walk for days on end like that…

And slowly deteriorating could also imply some form of wasting. Fats usually go first, then muscle, which is also very not good when you’ve gotta beat the clock to survive. Scary thing is that the brain is like 60% fats and not immune to any of this whoops—

Something I don’t really see anyone consider very often when talking about the curse (not that I’ve seen many people talk about this 💀) is how absolutely mentally fucked up Simon would be from it. Just the terror of knowing you’re slowly rotting to death would be enough to drive most people into some kind of despair or panic, but seeing and feeling all the gruesome details of it is even worse. Being in constant pain and stress isn’t good for anyone, especially someone who is already weakened from illness. But the sheer mental deterioration this guy would be having from the decay itself oh my god (0_o ). Looking up widespread brain shrinkage like that and uh some of the early signs are already stuff like seizures and extreme headaches. Add the fact that he doesn’t really sleep much for upwards of 7 days and it’d be an absolute miracle if this guy wasn’t hallucinating and/or completely hysterical by this point among other things. I mean, no wonder so much of this game is running around lost and confused, not only are people lying to his face, Simon is probably just barely keeping his shit together the whole time.

So just imagine for a second all of these things combined. No wonder people were terrified of him, he probably genuinely looked like a corpse. Eeeee yikes yikes ouch, poor guy :’’’’’(.

Anyway, Konami where is my horror focused Simon’s Quest remake you cowards—

[headingalaxys-spicy]

Hello there! May I have Germany, England, and France with S/O who can be intimidating like Jade West (when Angered, they can be really violent and sadistic) but deep down they are actually caring and kind). They are being tough is actually a facade to protect themselves from as*holes.

Reader is going to be a nation in this, since I feel it makes the most sense for the scenario given.

Edits Made: 12 Dec 2022 spotted redundancies.

Also I’ve never watched Victorious so I’m sorry if the character traits you’re looking for may be off or absent. I really tried for a badass who takes shit from no one but has a heart of gold. But, I did read a Wikipedia page and watched one video to help me out with writing this. So yeah, enjoy lol.

TW: it’s a slight gore and blood is mentioned and there is cursing.

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

Arthur is a global superpower and that means he has had to become a gentleman who

can play rough when you have other opponents, pee-ons, and pawns all the while putting on a show of chivalry.

Originally you were a pawn of his that he intended on using during the midst of rising tensions between you and America on the brink of another proxy-war that would drag you and a few other smaller nations into their conflict.

You’re a medium sized nation with a major hand in the diamond business. Your nation is world famous for some of its creations such as designing and providing the crowning jewels for the Royal family for a few centuries. Along with the other royalty, dignitaries, diplomats, and celebrities. You really knew how to dazzle the upper echelons of society. Which is why to England you were a pawn considering you filled in orders for a lot of America’s top 1%. Which meant people in power would be angry if suddenly the main supplier of 60% of all the world's finest gems was annexed by the U.K. a ruthless negotiator that always managed to steal the finest trade deals for his own benefit.

Your other fortes involved innovative energy technology. Which is a growing industry worldwide and makes you and your nation much more of a valued commodity. That America and England WILL fight over to dominate you. Which is why England used his influence: social media campaigns boasting about the great diplomatic relations he has with you. It gets to a point where he is broadcasting almost daily about the special relationship that he has with you to a point where America notices and tries to pay back in kind.

“(Country name) has been invited to the Senate and Congress to discuss some legislation ….” England overheard America’s boss blather on and on about connecting ties and possibly working on some projects in the future. He sat in his study and gritted his teeth and he turned the television off and threw the remote to the other side of the room.

“Bloody bastard. He really needs to learn when not to mess around with other people’s things.” He reached for his phone and he didn't want to let you slip away. Two rings pierced his eardrum before you answered on the other end.

“Y/N it’s Arthur, I wanted to inquire about….” For some reason he hesitates to speak out the words that he actually wants to say. You break the train of thought he had going where it was trying to speed for honesty and stop at the heart of the situation.

“The bullshit show that America is putting on? I’m not amused and I’m going to be ignoring him. Because that’s what I know what's on your mind.” Ice filled your vocal cords. You didn’t need multiple superpowers meddling in your domestic affairs trying to dominate.

“How did you-” Trying to get coal back in to fire up the engines once again. But he moved too slow to deter you from continuing.

“The two of you are aggressive superpowers. Of course. Anyways I’m busy. I have a four eyed moron to keep at bay and prevent him from dragging me to his country for ‘negotiations’ and ‘offerings’. And just so you know now: I don’t want yours either.” Without another word you promptly hang up the phone not really giving Arthur a chance to even state his concerns. You knew he would be a pain in your side too if you didn’t distance yourself.

Arthur swallows his pride. He was actually going to be vulnerable in order to get what he wanted this time.

“Bloody hell.”

After two weeks of sleepless nights on England's end on how he can vocalize his feelings without having to use his power. Which he is accustomed to doing and it came naturally for him. That was a tactic he knew worked well. However he knew that would get him shot and leave your home with a few broken bones. At 3am on a Friday he decided to write it out, pick up some doves, and take a small private jet to (Country Name).

When he arrived in your land and laid down his heart and put up his hands when he was greeted by you with a pistol along with your guards.

“You’ve got 10 seconds to explain yourself when I explicitly told you I wanted nothing to do with you.” Your index finger is itching to pull the trigger to send a resounding message that you don’t fuck with (country name) and come out unscathed.

“Y/N please, love , listen. This isn’t about some petty proxy war between America and I…”

Your eyebrow raises with your finger lightly tugging down on the trigger.

“I love you actually.”

🇫🇷 France 🇫🇷

As an international fashion icon France was never really on your radar. You regarded him as nothing more than an acquaintance that was flashy. He sometimes wanted to be ‘friends’ with and/or mentor you as a fellow flourishing country. You simply brushed him off in the past and shot him a dirty look whenever he approached you. You were not amused by his antics.

However, France does not surrender when it comes to romance and he was determined to not let you become an exception to that. He didn’t. But it did mean that he’s been slapped, tripped down the stairs, nearly getting caught in the crosshairs of your flame thrower, and on Halloween you nearly decapitated him before he got a little too fresh with you.

“Your determination is really beginning to annoy me. Do you have a death wish of sorts? Because I’d be happy to oblige with your immediate execution.” You were currently wielding a battle ax that was polished and sharpened. It’s cool metal being graced by the bright sun rays piercing Francis’ precious baby blues.

‘Damn she really is ruthless.’

“Y/N listen. I know that… you have this whole stubborn facade going on for you but, I’m not trying to harm you or play with you, toy with your feelings or any of that….” His voice trails off into the frigid air that surrounds you. He drew in slow concentrated breaths and was trying not to choke on his words. That was a difficult task when your icy gaze pelted him with icicles. Your sustained silence allowed him to continue with a quaking voice. You were interested in what pathetic pleas he’ll hit you with.

“I just want to be nothing but good to you. Admire you. And have you in my arms each day when the sun fades.”

Stars, roses, and hearts were the only things you could concentrate on as it was the only things that filled your vision as you concentrated on the French man that was pouring his heart out to you. Thornless scarlet roses sprouted from his hands and a soft golden glow came from his heart. God was on Francis’ side this time. Time seemed to be frozen as a gold arrow was given to him with a sharp heart tip.

*God appears out of the deep blue hues of the sky with an elegant angelic bow that looks as if it was made from pure white feathers.*

“Take this my child. You’ll need to get through the thorny barricade that is her way of guarding her heart.”

Francis wipes a few tears from his eyes as he looks at you and your guards frozen in place. You looked like a terrifying goddess that he’d be a devoted follower of.

“Thanks, God.” He stands to his feet with pure determination and readies himself with the bow and arrow aimed directly at your heart. He sucks in a sharp breath and holds it to steady his aim. The twang of the arrow launching itself from the bow filled his eardrums. As it did so the bow poofed into a flurry of pearly iridescent feathers that swirled around him.

When Francis looked in your direction again your eyes had a far softer expression than the vicious scowl that you were wearing before. A light smile graced your lips instead as your eyes made contact with those azure irises.

‘Ah that smile of hers. I feel so many butterflies everytime.’

“I’m sorry Francis. What were we trying to discuss? I’ve lost my train of thought.”

Your life together is relatively peaceful for being nations. Ever since France started dating you he has been less inclined to fight Britain. Not just in wars, but even politically. He doesn’t even bother to try and clap back when Britain begins spouting nonsense about him on Social Media. He ignores it all because his moon was all that he needed.

However if anyone dare to be a dickhead to Francis, they’re in for a real bad time.

If France ever comes home to you and passively talks about someone being a bigot, or threatens him oh …. I’d be praying to God.

“I’m sorry that happened to you honey. How can I make it better?” As you place a kiss on his forehead after you swept some of his luscious locks from his face.

“Nothing my love. I just hate their behavior, that's all. No need to break some nation's neck, or castrate, or any of the mischievous things you do.” A massive cocky smirk spreads wide and long on the Frenchman's face as he pulls you closer to him by grabbing your waist as he looks up at you. A deliciously vexatious grin is on your face as he sees the fire alight in your eyes. Someone goin die tonight.

“Okay.” Confirming you heard him but you weren’t going to listen. There was hell to pay.

You’re extremely protective of Francis. You burn those with callous words with aerosol and flames. To those who lay their hands on him in a brutal way, you end their bloodline. If it’s a nation that wants to be in a war you join in with him and become his sole support.

🇩🇪 Germany 🇩🇪

As Germany was sitting on the bench press his attention wandered over to you lifting weights. You were doing weighted squats. You were fully immersed in the moment and you made your muscles work in unison. You concentrated on making sure your moments were precise so that you would have well defined muscles. You enjoyed the heat of battle on occasion but you did also love your peace and the ability to work on other more productive things than war.

Ludwig’ s mind meandered to how he actually managed to convince you to not continue with your plans to torment him and force him to reincarnate painfully.

“I’ve told you a dozen times: DON’T. CROSS. ONTO. MY. BORDERS. I’m classified as a reclusive nation for A REASON. And I’m stunned that out of all the nations YOU don’t get that.” You were barring your fangs and your voice was raised. You hated this man for invading (country name). You thought he of all people would have enough common sense not to bug you. I mean rules and regulations are his thing. But here he is in the forest caught in a bear trap that was hidden well.

“Ja. Ja. I know zhat. Ho-” You lean down over him making sure that your face aligned up with his. It was intimidating to the German and he wondered why in hell he decided to follow his bashful heart and didn’t follow his grounded mind.

“Then if you do…..WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE?” Ludwig flenched. He wasn’t used to being dominated by another nation. What made it worse is that his emotions were trying to figure out why sparks had hit his heart, his stomach felt airy, and his neither region felt stiff and was expanding. His brain wasn’t really able to come up with a plan that was feasible.

‘So this is what it feels like to be the unter Hund. I might have some apologizing to Italy to do once I reincarnate.’

“I… just.. Verdammit. …. Look I….” Ludwig was tripping over his words as he did his best to evade your piercing gaze that made all of the side effects of his emotions worse. He began to squirm a little and you stabbed your spear in the middle of his abdomen. You took pleasure in his pained grunt he let out.

‘Oh so he’s used to or has been trained to tolerate intense pain. Interesting. I wonder how much farther I can push this. However, Germany can’t be that stupid. Can he?’

Sucking in a sharp breath so he could force out his words.

“Okay…” Ludwig coughs up a little blood. “I deserved that. I should have at the very least sent jou a notice. But, I didn't, I'm sorry.” You didn’t respond, you simply stood over him expectantly. More coaxing with pain was no longer necessary. Crimson continued to spill from his mouth in massive gobs. “I ….” Trying to maintain himself from passing out. However that wasn’t an option. His vision became unfocused. Your pristine face no longer had a scowl but one of concern. Ludwig promptly passes out.

You let out a long sigh that filled the forest air. “Dammit. I have to help him revive or the international community will label me as the bad guy.” You grab your phone and send a mass message to your top surgeons and health care team. You knew you were going to have to kiss up to Germany if you didn’t want other bigger nations to condemn you and possibly invade (country name).

Germany came to a sterile hospital room that only he, two nurses, and Y/N were there, waiting for him to become conscious again. He avoids looking at Y/N for fear she may just get angry with him again.

You swallow your pride and disgust and finally break the constricting silence that was suffocating.

“So, you were saying? About why you were here.” Your leg was crossed over the other with arms crossed. It was like you were a teenager that had to admit that they were wrong and the realization of it was a difficult pill to swallow. Your eyes glazed over his muscular form and you noticed all of the minor injuries: cuts, bruises, and a broken left arm. But your facial expression was still stony and stoic.

“Oh ja, right uhhhhhh…..” His brain and heart still couldn’t get it together.

Ludwig’s cherry red cheeks gave away his motives that weren't hard for Y/N to pick up on.

Y/N rolls her eyes with mild amusement at the dangerous stunt he pulled.

“Look, let's just get you back to your country and agree that you won’t tell others.”

“On one condition leibling.”

Germany uses his persuasion to get you to consider letting him stay so that the two of you could get to know each other and maybe have a decent working relationship. You hesitate and Germany is persistent and eventually he convinces you to be in a relationship with him. Tying your nations relations together.

As a couple the two of you enjoy having routines together. You exercise together, train, and have weekly Wednesday and Saturday movie nights. You never expected that you could get along with a stoic work-o-holic like Ludwig but you found that he did have appeal attributes.

Alright I tried with this one lol. I’m sorry if it wasn’t what you were looking for.

[alltheselights]

Do you mind sharing some of your theories? I'm interested, but that's fine if you want to keep them to yourself!

I hope you have a great day.

I got a few asks about this, but I’m going to respond to them all at once here instead of just repeating myself several times.

Let the record show that some of this lump of text is theories, most of which are not fully formed and none of which likely can fully explain all of what’s happening, and some of it is just me asking questions that I think show that Louis’ situation is still not normal in any capacity. There’s so much that we don’t know, so this is all I’ve got for you.

One possibility, which is what I leaned toward about a year ago when this “I’m totally a father who sees Freddie, see look, I went to LA and took a photo with him, see look, he came to Doncaster for Christmas” stuff began, is that he’s fully embracing babygate so he can establish himself within the fandom and to the general public as a good, active father because then people will be sympathetic when it ends and may lean more toward sympathy than toward laughing about how stupid he was to not get a paternity test. Now the problem with this theory is that the general public doesn’t really care that Louis is a father and I feel like in the fandom, among those who believe Louis is a father, they already think he’s a good one. You’ll find many solo Louies who think he’s a dad talking about what a good, cute dad he is - you even see it today in the replies to Simon Jones’ tweet, which features the clip of him mentioning Freddie in the LadBible video.

Though, to be fair, if there’s anything the last week has shown us, it’s that Louis and his team still don’t really understand the fandom, regardless of how strong our connection with him may be and how much he loves us. So does he know that many of his fans think he’s a good, present father and that they ignore much of what doesn’t add up and have convinced themselves he must have spent much more time in LA than we think over the past six years? Do they know that these fans don’t need to be convinced? They might not.

I also saw one person saying how they think the possibilities are either that 1) he’s decided to never end it, or 2) he’s decided that he can’t end it without coming out. So I tried to think about these theories as possibilities.

I still don’t really think number 1 is true. If Louis was fully committed to babygate, I think we’d see him in LA much more, I think we’d see him out and about with the kid much more, I think he’d publicly have a house in LA still (or again), I think he’d be writing songs about fatherhood, I think we’d see his family visiting Freddie (which they NEVER do), I think we’d see him in Docaster much more, and I think we’d see more way more photos of them on his sisters’ social media at the very least rather than the same few photos from 2016 or this past Christmas where Freddie looked incredibly uncomfortable.

Yes, Louis has brought up the kid unprompted to fans and interviewers alike. Yes, Louis now has “stories” (very vague, very generic stories - every kid likes mac & cheese and even I could tell you that Freddie enjoys surfing considering he goes with his family to Hawaii to surf multiple times per year - but they’re stories nevertheless). Yes, he’s been seen with the kid more. Yes, the kid came to Doncaster once (for only the second time in seven years).

But compared to a normal, active father? I mean....come on. Louis’ family posts publicly about all their vacations and yet nobody’s gone to LA to visit their only nephew (prior to Lottie giving birth) since 2016. Freddie visited the UK twice in six years despite having a wealthy father who could have him visit all the time - and who would easily be able to convince a judge to allow that, considering there is no reason to think his custody would be limited. Louis’ supposed long-term girlfriend has never once been pictured with the child and didn’t even sit near him at a concert that they both attended. Louis has never written him a song or taken a vacation with him. Louis talks about him frequently in interviews and allows his sisters to post him to social media about once a month and seems to have no issue with the Jungwirths posting him publicly and making his location clear despite saying publicly that he wanted privacy for the child. Louis has never once fought for a custody arrangement for the child.

If Louis was all in, I believe most of these things would not be the case.

So then there’s option number 2 that blogger speculated about - that Louis and his team might believe that they can’t end babygate without him coming out. I think this is an interesting theory and one that might be partially true, at the very least. Does Louis want to come out? I think that five years ago, he did. Do I think that now? I’m not sure. I don’t see many indications that he does and I actually think that Louis enjoys keeping his private life private. (Please note: I do not think Louis is ashamed or embarrassed by his sexuality and that is absolutely not why I think there’s a possibility - and again, this is just a possibility, not something I feel certain about - he doesn’t want to come out.) If he doesn’t want to come out, I do think he could still end it, but I think the speculation would be overwhelming - even if Louis is no Kardashian.

While it’s been a long time since babygate was a major news story, I think it reached enough ears and I think Larrie conspiracies are infamous enough throughout social media spaces (especially Twitter) that it would be a very big deal if babygate ended. I think even people who never cared would start caring because let’s be real - a celebrity finding out his kid isn’t his kid after seven years when a significant group of fans have theorized about you being gay, in a relationship with Harry Styles, and not actually a father - I think people would be talking about that. Not necessarily long-term, but I think it would make a rather large bang on the Internet these days, and even more so because I think it’s tied to Harry for a lot of people and he’s a very hot topic and very famous.

However, if Louis not wanting to come out and them fearing that babygate would inevitably lead to that, or at least to heavy sexuality speculation, is a concern, they could just maintain the status quo of before without actually ending it. I don’t see why they would have to fully lean into it like this.

Related to that theory, another thing I considered is that they could be concerned that ending it would cause the public and especially fans would direct their attention on Sony, who many fans feel is responsible for babygate and for the oppression of artists like Louis and even Harry (who I personally don’t believe is being oppressed by Sony currently). I don’t know much about contracts, but there’s always a possibility that Louis agreed to not speak negatively about his experiences with Sony for a period of time (I know he’s alluded to his label not doing shit, but he’s never been direct about it). There’s also the possibility that even if he didn’t, he and his team could wonder if ending babygate might motivate Sony to redirect their focus to blackballing Louis in the industry (because yes, I absolutely believe they did that and that Louis is still dealing with the consequences to this day). Perhaps they believed they needed to choose between Louis’ career and ending the stunt.

Still, even with this theory, it still begs the question of why Louis is now playing such an active role when the status quo was working. Is it some mix of these theories, where Louis is trying to establish himself as a good father because he feels like he needs to continue this long-term for the sake of his career, and maybe he thinks as Freddie gets older, the status quo was insufficient? Are they worried that if they ended it tomorrow, the Jungwirths could say something or do something to suggest that Louis has not been a present father, and so they are trying to counteract that in advance? Is it something else?

Another possibility that I’ve considered - it seems like Elounor might be over, or if it’s not fully over, it seems like Eleanor is no longer interested in playing along. I think that block was intentional and suggests some bad blood. If Louis doesn’t want to come out or feels that he can’t come out at the moment and they want to keep up the straight facade, but can’t use Eleanor to do it, perhaps that’s why he’s chosen to lean hard into playing the father role instead.

Also, let me add that I think that Simon Jones’ continued presence is very suspicious. Louis’ personal life is always the focus when he’s involved. Eleanor, his personal losses, and Freddie, Freddie, Freddie. Metro, Telegraph, The Sun, and others that he has connections to in the UK are always focused almost entirely on his personal life with little regard for his music. The LadBible video is also an example - Simon Jones even tweeted the clip of the Freddie part on Twitter even though it was a two second moment of the video and far from being the best or most interesting part. Simon Jones is objectively bad at his job and only works in the UK, which is almost useless for an artist like Louis, who has a massive fanbase around the world. So why is Louis still with him? Why is it that every time he’s involved, it becomes the personal life show, which is something that Louis doesn’t seem to enjoy? It makes you wonder why Louis talks repeatedly about how fans have been the only ones to support him over the years and bring him success and has slowly dropped everyone from the One Direction days and his early solo career - Modest, Syco, Epic, Sony, Russell, etc - yet Simon Jones, useless as ever, still lingers. 

So as you can see, this is a jumble of different theories and questions. I have no idea what the answer is - maybe one of my theories is partially accurate, maybe none of them are at all - but I’ll repeat something I said in an ask earlier.

Babygate and Elounor have never done a single thing for Louis. They haven’t made him more famous, they haven’t made him more successful, they haven’t made him more liked by his own fans, and if anything, they’ve actually hurt his career and turned fans against him over the course of years. I’ve even seen solo Louies who believe he’s a father show frustration today over the fact that they are once again focusing on using a child to promote his music instead of like, you know, actual performances and music-focused promo. There are ways to stay closeted without pissing off your fanbase. So if it doesn’t make any logical sense for him to continue pretending just because he wants to, you have to assume that there’s some other reason that we’re not aware of. All we can do is speculate, but you just can’t convince me that Louis woke up one day a year ago and decided he wants to pretend to be a dad now. There has to be something more at play here even if we don’t know what it is.

[atthebell-moved]

heya op from the karlnapity number 1 post, i want to hear the theories you have as to why it got so popular it would sound interesting!

oh wow did not expect anyone to actually want to hear about this. thanks for asking!

so first thing, in terms of numbers on this: when i initially looked at this, i guessed at popular poly ships and figured out from this that karnapity was big; this time, i used @/toastystats' analysis from may 2021 to figure out big poly ships and then cross referenced their current numbers with karlnapity's-- they're ahead by at least 1000 works from the (presumed) next biggest poly ship, Bucky/Steve/Tony from the MCU.

This is super impressive! DSMP on AO3 has been one of the fastest growing fandoms in the last couple of years (toasty has stats about that as well, as does @/ao3-anonymous who does weekly fandom growth stats) and has absolutely exploded in terms of amount of works, though it's a bit hard to quantify due to only receiving its own fandom tag recently. Still, competing with the MCU, BTS, & BNHA, to name a few fandoms, is impressive as it's still such a new fandom compared to how long they've been around and been able to gather works.

In regard to why I think Karlnapity is popular, and to compare it to other popular poly ships, I think there's a few factors. In no particular order:

#1 - This one's easy. DSMP is hugely popular right now, and Karlnapity is one of a few significant canon ships in the world of the server. Other big ships (DNF, tntduo, beeduo, etc.) have less canonical status or are in some way fraught with RPF issues.

#2 - The ship is M/M/M. If you look at the stats I link above from toasty, M/M/M by far dominates poly ships, with F/M/M a ways behind. As you probably know, ships involving women tend to be far less popular, and vice versa.

#3 - This is where we get into my actual juicy analysis. The biggest reason I think Karlnapity is huge is it's canonical status, which is BY FAR what distinguishes it from other poly ships.

Below is a list of the biggest poly ships, as of May 2021 (again, from toasty, linked above). Obviously Karlnapity has shot up in terms of stats, but this provides us with a solid basis for other poly ships.

Most of the other popular poly ships are non-canonical ships, with the basis of the ship being people want ot3s and there's three central characters in these pieces of media (Bucky/Steve/Tony, Castiel/Dean/Sam, Poe/Finn/Rey, Hermione/Harry/Ron). For BTS, it's a similar situation but instead of three main characters the band has 7 members.

The two ships that are canonical/semi-canonical (depending on your interpretation of things like word of god and possible retconning) are Karlnapity and Hardison/Parker/Eliot. I'll start with the latter; feel free to skip this paragraph if you don't want to read through me talking about Leverage.

If you're not a Leverage fan, you probably are not familiar with this OT3 and may be confused about its popularity considering it is a MUCH smaller fandom than the other ones (only ~9k total fics). Hardison/Parker/Eliot is also the #1 ship in the Leverage fandom tag, whereas the rest of these are generally quite a bit further down in the ship tags. The reason for this is that the relationship dynamic on the show is very intimate, I would say a majority of leverage fans ship the ot3 without question, AND the creators have on multiple occasions encouraged and endorsed the ship. Additionally, they have made the ship canonical (in a sense) by stating that the finale of the original show was meant to end with the three of them in a relationship, so they hold a semi-canonical, word of god status in that sense. However, for much of the show, only Hardison and Parker are explicitly dating and it is my understanding that in the recent revival that is still the case (haven't watched it yet, planning to soon). Still, it is far more canonical than most of the other ships on this list, which is why it's so high up despite being a smaller fandom, and this feeds into why I think Karlnapity is so popular.

Okay! Back to Karlnapity!

Karlnapity is the only ship on this list that has full, in-canon support for it being a romantic, polyamorous ship. That is, as you probably know, incredible rare in fandoms of this size. The three of them are romantically & phsyically affectionate (when they were together) and explicitly involved, which cannot be said for any other ship on the list above.

All this to say, the biggest reasons Karlnapity is so popular are that the fandom is hugely popular right now, the ship involves men, and the relationship is canon.

[bitchesgetriches]

Sailor Mercury: Soldier of Knowledge and Student Loans

Real Identity: Mizuno Ami (Amy)

Estimated Net Worth at Age 30: -$217,000.00

Key Assets: Medical degree, technology patents

Key Liabilities: Milk of human kindness

Bet you’re shocked to see Sailor Mercury here, at the very bottom of the list. It’s a stunning ranking for the hands-down smartest Senshi with the most marketable skills.

But if you think about it for even a second, it makes total sense. Ami’s goal is to become a doctor. That right there is a quarter mil in student loans. There are plenty of people who go on to practice medicine and make up this incredible debt with incredible earning potential. But Ami is just not the private practice type! She would totally work at a low-income community medical center, or join Doctors Without Borders.

All while living in Tokyo, one of the most expensive cities on the planet. And with social anxiety like hers, does anyone think Ami’s down to split expenses with any roommate other than Luna?

SAILOR MERCURY IS BROKE.

Search your heart. You know that I am right.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whEn5VD-wK0

Sailor Venus: Soldier of Love and Lifestyle Creep

Real Identity: Aino Minako (Mina)

Estimated Net Worth at Age 30: -$23,000.00

Key Assets: Dual citizenship, charm

Key Liabilities: Expansive definition of “self care”

Her dream is to be an idol. More like “be idle,” amirite?

The Japanese idol industry molds a single person into a model/singer/actor/social media influencer. A glut of eager young girls makes competition fierce, and their shelf-life is incredibly short. They’re not considered serious actors or musicians, so even if V succeeded, her future is uncertain.

Like so many hopeful models, Minako would end up spending a small fortune on clothes, makeup, styling, treatments, and transportation just to get noticed and find work. She’d pay it back eventually by getting a job in PR, but she’ll always be the type to live just outside her means.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukbmHzDFB7A

Sailor Moon: Soldier of Justice and Overdraft Fees

Real Identity: Tsukino Usagi (Serena)

Estimated Net Worth at Age 30: -$40.00

Key Assets: Future queen of Earth

Key Liabilities: Inability to count, married to serial rose waster

There’s no nice way to say it. Usagi may be a pretty soldier who fights in the name of the moon, but she is also dumb as a pile of poorly-folded towels. There are numerous instances of observational Usagi-humor centered around the fact that she can barely read or write in her native language.

On the one hand, I want to give Usagi a pass. She’s a messianic figure who’s saved the world multiple times. But she is such a stone-cold dumbass I cannot imagine a financial future that doesn’t involve extensive petty debts.

Usagi is more of a homebody, so I don’t picture her spending as carelessly as Minako. But her flighty personality would constantly lead to overdraft fees, late fines, and short-lived associations with MLMs. Thankfully, Tuxedo Mask is loaded. I’m sure he’ll bail her out of any physically or financially dangerous situation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcYNoSRZCBg

Sailors Uranus & Neptune: Soldiers of the Skies, Deep Waters, and Shady Lesbian Cabals

Real Identities: Tenoh Haruka (Amara) & Kaiou Michiru (Michelle)

Estimated Net Worth at Age 30: $0.00, or rather n/a

Key Assets: Fast cars, musical talent, “patrons”

Key Liabilities: Systemic campaign of attempted becousining, trying to raise this baby right

Haruka and Michiru don’t have any money, but they also don’t need any money. They seem to exist in some kind of roving pocket dimension where money has no meaning.

These two would walk into a coffee shop, order something extremely sophisticated, and then look at the barista like she was gauche for ringing them up. And it would work. Cashier-girl would be too busy stammering and blushing to stop them from strolling out again.

Haruka and Michiru walk into da clerb and—oops, all the straight women are now gay, and all the gay women have switched from liking butch/femme to femme/butch. It’s a lawsuit waiting to happen.

There’s a vague answer to the source of their inexhaustible old money. “We have patrons,” Haruka says. No one, inside or outside of the continuity, knows what the fuck this means. But it does remind me to thank our Patreon supporters! Soldiers of Good Taste and Philanthropy, every single one of you!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JA7KBGoC_8

Sailor Saturn: Soldier of Death and Lost Wages

Real Identity: Tomoe Hotaru (Hotaru)

Estimated Net Worth at Age 30: $630.00

Key Assets: Partially cybernetic, destroyer of worlds, a demon lives in her soul

Key Liabilities: Seizures, spontaneous age changes, a demon lives in her soul

Due to circumstances with which I’m sure we’re all very familiar, Sailor Saturn would actually only be eighteen years old at age thirty, as she was reborn as an infant at age twelve. And high school kids ain’t known for their amazing wealth.

That said, she’s pretty circumspect. I bet she saves that thruple-mom allowance.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GAE14PnFNU

Sailor Jupiter: Soldier of Thunder and Etsy

Real Identity: Kino Makoto (Lita)

Estimated Net Worth at Age 30: $210,000.00

Key Assets: Dead parents, entrepreneurship

Key Liabilities: none

Makoto’s parents died in a plane crash. Given how rare such deaths are, I’m assuming she got a healthy settlement out of it. She’s super into classically girly stuff like gardening, baking, interior decoration, and handicrafts. Her dream is to open her own small business, along the lines of a bakery or flower shop. So, Etsy.

Honestly, Mako-chan’s living that coveted FIRE lifestyle. She’s monetizing her hobbies because she loves them, not because she needs to. She has plenty of cushion to fall back on. GOOD FOR YOU, JUPZ!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1L86EpboH8A

Sailor Mars: Soldier of Fire and Misandry

Real Identity: Hino Rei (Raye)

Estimated Net Worth at Age 30: $800,000.00

Key Assets: Great education, precognition, hates men

Key Liabilities: none

Fun fact: Rei’s estranged father is a powerful politician. I feel like Rei sending hate-vibes to someone for thirty years would be enough for them to just fall down and die, so I’m assuming she’s inherited a small fortune by this point.

This girl is a real dragon. I cannot picture her struggling with money. But if she ever did, her ability to see into the future means there’s an endless supply of easy yen to make down at the racetrack. This girl is set for life, yo.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CqP8t1lC2p4

Sailor Chibimoon: Soldier of Spoiled Brats

Real Identity: Usagi Small Lady Serenity Tsukino, or just Chibiusa (Rini)

Estimated Net Worth at Age 30: $1,900,000,000.00

Key Assets: Parents are the King and Queen of Earth

Key Liabilities: Is everybody’s least favorite, has verrrry complicated ideas about fatherhood, can’t get an ID because no one at the DMV believes her actual given name is Small Lady

I know, I know, I knocked Usagi for being a cheap queen. But Usagi eventually becomes the ageless and all-powerful Neo Queen Serenity, and runs the whole damn Earth for a thousand years from her seat in Crystal Tokyo. I am sure that sometime in that timeframe, she figured out how to buy herself some stocks.

That makes Chibiusa the only child of the Queen and King of the Earth. Hell yes she’s richer than sin! Kinda explains her consistently atrocious attitude.

Do not try to tell me that there isn’t some kind of ATM inside of Luna-P.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8n3OTifgCVA

Sailor Pluto: Soldier of Space-Time and House Hacking

Real Identity: Meioh Setsuna (Trista)

Estimated Net Worth at Age 30: $∞

Key Assets: No expenses of any kind, exists in infinity, very stable job

Key Liabilities: Key real estate recently demoted to non-planetary status

Sailor Pluto is the keeper of the Gate of Time and Space. She does not eat. She does not sleep. And she sure as fuck don’t pay no goddamn rent!

Consider the financial ramifications of living in infinity, with the ability to travel freely to any point in known history and back again. She’s not allowed to leave her post, but it doesn’t matter because she can also exist in multiple places and times all at once. She is also not allowed to travel through time herself, upon pain of death. But it turns out that pain of death isn’t that much pain when you can infinitely reincarnate.

I’m considering this the ultimate house hack. Buy a house, rent it out, phase in and out of the forth dimension, and boom: you’re a quadrillionaire!

Don’t argue with me. Puu-chan is loaded on a cosmic and indefinable level.

[unofficialadamtaurus]

i was wondering your thoughts on jaune as a character tbh. today i was thinking about atla and where it succeeded versus where rwby failed (especially because miles luna himself has compared rwby to atla multiple times).

one thing i disliked about rwby is that all four of the girls are super important in some way. ruby has silver eyes, weiss is the SDC heiress (richest company in the world), blake is WF leader’s daughter (also from a wealthy family), yang’s mom is a maiden. none of them are normal.

in atla, we have aang (the avatar), katara (who’s the last southern tribe waterbender… kinda?), toph (rich family daughter), zuko (firelord’s son) and sokka… who is completely normal. i like how they have a normal guy in atla which makes him relatable to the viewer.

the problem is in rwby, this normal guy is jaune. who ends up sticking along in the plot and being forced by the writers to be in situations which get him hate from the fndm. miles said jaune is partially inspired by sokka (dorky funny strategist type) but at the same time it means jnpr has to be part of the rwby adventures for jaune to be around. which makes people dislike jaune even more.

i kinda rambled but i was wondering yours thoughts on him? where did he fail where sokka succeeded and so on in your opinion?

He's fine on the surface but out of place if you look deeper.

This is more of a collection of scattered thoughts than anything, but to go at it:

I don't mind that everyone in team RWBY is special in some way. Is there something lost by not having a more "relatable" non-special character? Sure, but the girls are all from different enough backgrounds that you can get good worldbuilding and character interaction anyway...if you were a competent writer who cared about that kind of thing.

One thing about ATLA: I think Sokka is occasionally mislabeled as the "normal" guy when used as a basis of comparison with characters in other media. Sokka is the son of the Southern Water Tribe chieftain who gets Yue to fall in love with him almost immediately. The former comes up when he plans the raid on the Day of Black Sun. He's got prodigious talent with his boomerang, club, and sword - not exactly "normal," just not a bender like most of the main cast. The equivalent of a non-bender in RWBY to me is someone who doesn't have aura (or doesn't have it in levels high enough to be considered "combat ready").

The writers may have been inspired by Sokka but they missed how being a non-bender is not a non-starter in ATLA's combat whereas being auraless in RWBY very much is a non-starter.

So Jaune doesn't work on that level as a Sokka analogue, but he also just doesn't work as a character on his own! As many others before me have pointed out, it makes no sense that Jaune idolized his warrior lineage but was completely clueless when it came to aura in-universe. How did he fake his transcripts? Why did he wait until he was 17 or whatever to pursue huntsman-ing?

(Side note: Sokka's misogyny is called out explicitly in the narrative and he changes for the better. Jaune's bend towards toxic masculinity brought on by his own insecurities - exacerbated by Cardin - is never addressed. Like Weiss's racism, it's just set aside in a completely unsatisfactory lack of an arc.)

Jaune getting as much focus as he does has been talked to death. Suffice to say I agree that he gets too much. At first it was because the writers didn't know how to dump all the exposition on us and clumsily used Jaune to do it, then it was because...I guess Jaune deserved an arc more than the main characters? It got better in V7 but that goddamn scene in V8 brought that all crashing back down. There's a fundamental inability to use Jaune to boost the main girls' stories; he fails as a deuteragonist.

Don't even get me started on how Jaune's "strategies" suck. After V3, the show cannot write combat strategy to save its life. Like so many other character traits in this show, we're told Jaune has this talent but don't see it ourselves. we could...steal an airship?

He's a 5/10 character for me. Thoroughly okay but capable of getting worse if you stop to think - like some white bread that might actually be moldy if you squint.

[delusion-of-negation]

I wonder if you consider Dorohedoro to be a harmful DID representation/implementation. I love the manga wholeheartedly, but I sometimes wonder about some of its aspects. There are some questionable moments with trans and gay characters, but I rarely see people addressing DID part (maybe because, despite the character exhibiting the symptoms, it's never called as "multiple personalities" or anything, and it's a result of a magic spell in the end).

I haven't seen Dorohedoro specifically, but most DID rep is bad if you're looking for genuine rep- ie not a magic spell, accurate, and a decent character/s. Legion fucked up his DID to the point of being totally incoherent whether there even were multiple of him (but part of the "goal" of the show is to be incoherent on where the line between anyone's superpower and their illness is, which was done well enough in the first season but the show got worse as it went on), and honestly the last season or so sucked. there was that game/anime about a guy with DID that was decent enough I guess, too weird to really get a solid grasp on whether I'd call it good rep but a fine viewing experience - he had blue hair and there was a dog or something, and it's not any of the guys that keep popping up when I google, and the name was normally written as an acronym with, I think, four letters? anyway, Yu-Gi-Oh had one of the best DID characters in Malik/Yami no Malik (the latter is the result of severe childhood trauma, not an ancient egyptian spirit in the rod, despite what some people seem to keep saying) in terms of accuracy, but he's also an evil alter and is sent to hell and all that, so not what a lot of people want from rep. Split is Split, I don't need to elaborate on why that's awful. Moon Knight is a slog for the first few episodes - I was genuinely and repeatedly so close to just turning it off for good, because it started with so many cheesy horror tropes, the old ambiguity in "is it magic? is it illness? spoooooky" done badly, and episode one was painful, both in terms of general quality as a show and in terms of quality of representation - but then they finally hit you with a great episode that explores his childhood memories, how the alters formed, how they work, and it has a few close calls with inaccuracy that actually make it feel more real (ie he's a person, not a walking talking dsm page, and people tend to vary a little with how illnesses present), but it comes far too late in the series for me to say Moon Knight is fantastic rep, because it had already done so much wrong before it changed gears and became good at it. I used to run a blog where I'd rate DID rep, I'd watch a show and rate how accurate it was, how good the character was, how the illness was used (eg was it just there to be spooky, or was it integrated well into the characters and their arc), how good the show in general was, etc, but I didn't have the energy to keep watching entire shows just to write a short essay on them, let alone reading the mangas and having to keep going back to see if changes rectified the prior issues or not (you know how sometimes a twist makes something that seemed bad at first actually interesting? I like to double check that I'm not overlooking those kinds of situations). but that means I do have memories of reviewing quite a few pieces of media with DID or DID-ish characters, and honestly I haven't found any perfect rep.

[indiaalphawhiskey]

Hello India,

I am a frequent reader of your blog and I have found interesting your answers to some recent asks about Harry and his relationship with the industry. I think we share the same perspective, to start with that he is not a victim and that he is a mature worker with more experience in his professional field than most of us had when we were his age.

There is an area that always confuses me from this angle and I would like to know your opinion if you wish to share it: When it comes to the stunts, how do we perceive Harry. During all these years we have witnessed he wasn't "happy" with none of them; of course, there are different "levels", I can tell how the actual is giving us the most upsetting looks in him. Also, is not the same as being an 18-year-old pushed into it as being a young adult that has evaluated his options and for many different reasons (and implications that I am not going to list but we all can consider) is now involved in one.

I try to make sense of it, stunt-couples are commonly seen for promo and other reasons too, we can recognize many "public" ones out there now and they don't concern me in a sense of "they are having a hard time" while at it. I have read how fans openly say how they "would be upset if Holivia showed a friendly bond" or how they celebrate perceiving this distance because, in the end, it is another confirmation of how fake this is. I don't know how to feel about this, I am here looking at his body language despite the situation they are in, and I only get these horrible vibes.

All these public appearances are brief. On one hand, I think he can anticipate them, get ready, they are planned, he is an actor, he knows, he is aware of it; and on the other hand, why does he have to even pretend? maybe he really doesn't want to fake it, maybe this is his way of showing his discomfort towards it or the industry, or as those fans said, to let us know this is not his thing. Bottom line, should I be worried? what is your take on it?

Thank you and sorry for the long ask

Hi, darling!

Wow, okay, lots of interesting conversations in my inbox today. Let me preface this by saying that I’m not (and never have been) in the habit of telling people how to feel. The fandom, and larries, are not a monolith (I think Twitter has proved that extensively) and I think we have to be very aware that there is no right/wrong way to perceive or emotionally react to the narratives we’re being fed. We’re human, we’re going to feel things — unique, rational, irrational things. We can’t help it. We hold onto thoughts that comfort us, and are triggered by thoughts that make us sad or uncomfortable. What’s important is that, whether happy or sad, we each self-soothe in a way that doesn’t hurt ourselves or others, and when it gets to the point where it might, we know when to walk away.

So, in line with that, I’m not here to tell you how you should feel, but I’ll tell you how I feel about stunts, and anything that fits you can take, and anything that doesn’t you can leave behind. 🙂

Harry is 28 years old and has been in this industry for 12 years. It’s naive to think he plays no active part in arranging, negotiating, or participating in stunts — this is his life. More than anything, I would think that that was one of the big negotiating points of his solo contracts: that he would have some level of control over these things. You can see the shift in control in subtle things, like the way he very rarely confirms a stunt relationship (I can only recall the Zack Lowe interview) and how, for as much as he can help it, his stunts are kept off of social media which at least somehow limits the use of it as online fodder (something that can’t be said for other stars, like Camilla and Shawn).

But like I mentioned before, multiple things can be true at the same time, and one truth that I think is important to get comfortable with is that there’s a lot we’ll never know. We’ll never really know just how much leverage and negotiating power Harry has over these narratives or how his stunts are selected. We’ll never know what freedoms and priorities he deems important enough that he’s willing to exchange participation for. We’ll never really know how he feels about his closet in relation to his career. We’ll never really really really know how he feels about his stunt partners (although we can read body language and actively compare that to people we know he chooses to spend time with, we have to admit: we don’t actually know and we’re always looking at things with personal bias attached.)

Personally, I think that Harry is a good person, and that he’s kind and professional, and whatever common ground he can find with O for example, comes from the place of wanting to act appropriately and professionally (I’ve personally worked with a handful of truly awful people, and I have put on a fake smile and treated them like a person just like every adult has had to do, because while I can’t control how awful people are, I can control how I am perceived in a professional environment.)

Alongside Harry being a people pleaser (he just admitted to it yesterday) he’s also smart, and smart people (who have experience in this industry and know how much personal reputation matters) will not be petty enough to burn bridges when there is no need. That said, even the best actors are human and have their limits. I think Harry is very aware of the difference between fans who will accept what they’re told on the surface, and those that will dig deeper (see: his quote about the doors as clues), and that’s why I think he doesn’t try too hard to sell his stunts because he knows the people who believe it believe it, lackluster participation or not, and those who want to see beyond it will already know what he looks like when he’s truly happy and comfortable.

TL;DR — there’s a lot we’ll never know about how Harry feels about stunting and the extent of his “freedom” within these constraints. He acts appropriately and professionally around a person who is essentially a colleague, but as we know, Harry’s natural charm can easily be misconstrued. I think if you take a moment to really think about why you might worry, you’ll find the answer isn’t actually rooted in how he does or does not participate in the stunt but rather in the honest discomfort that you’ll never be 💯 certain of anything (and I mean literally anything), and that’s not a great feeling (nor is the constant gaslighting by the people around us easy to swallow), but that’s reality. Trust your gut. There’s a reason you looked into Larry and became a Larrie, and it wasn’t because of a visual narrative or the pics-and-quotes-or-it-didn't-happen "stone cold facts" print media was selling you. 😉

[thebibliosphere]

So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!

I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.

I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.

I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.

There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.

Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)

So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.

When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After. 

But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.

And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)

There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.

I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.

Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.

(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)

And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.

“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”

Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.

Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.

Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting. 

To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom. 

Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man. 

Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms... 

If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.

This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful. 

----

*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.

** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.

*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual.