#I know where all totally different people than we were 6 or 7 years ago and it wouldn’t make sense to reconnect but I miss them

[devils-little-sista]

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[yumeka-sxf]

My thoughts on Spy x Family: EYES ONLY Guidebook (English ver) - part 1

I finished reading through my copy of the English version of the SxF manga guidebook "EYES ONLY." There's tons of fantastic information about the series, but I wanted to share my thoughts/commentary on parts that were the most interesting to me. Since there's so much content to cover, I'll be dividing it into a few different posts. Also, rather than go in the order of the book's sections, I decided to group the content based on topic. This first post will cover Endo's comments about the characters individually, as well as information about Garden.

Endo's Q&As and comments about the characters

Loid:

I like that Endo provides a reason for why Loid wears a WISE logo pin as it's something more than one fan of the series has questioned! And I totally agree with Lin about his "lack of distinctive features." Compared to so many other anime characters, especially shonen main characters, Loid's design is so plain, particularly in his hair and clothes. At least in his spy outfit he has a gun to make him a little flashier, but when he's in his casual clothes, he literally just looks like "some guy," haha. But that also makes sense for his character.

I love how Endo gave specific numbers for comparing Loid and Yor's strength (Yor: 10, Loid: 6-7)

Anya:

I did notice what Endo is talking about how Anya's design changed over time. But that can be said for all the characters really, and it's definitely not uncommon for manga-ka's styles to evolve as they get a better feel for their characters and world.

He mentions the classical language thing that was also brought up in chapter 42. Definitely makes me think that will somehow tie into her backstory.

Speaking of Anya's backstory, there was this little excerpt about the researchers at the lab. So one thing we can say for sure about her past is that she was not treated well there at all (which has been hinted at in the series).

Endo also discussed the origin of Anya's pink hair (namely, there really isn't any origin, lol).

Yor:

Interesting that he spent the most time designing Yor, and also about the origin of her stilettoes. And his apology to the cosplayers for that bonus feature about Yor's hair, haha.

I had to chuckle when he said they can't measure her strength because she keeps breaking the instruments! Also the fact that she hasn't learned how to make a single successful meal since the stew…Endo is such a savage sometimes, lol. But keep in mind that this book was originally published over a year ago, and obviously we know from recent chapters that her cooking is improving. I also like that he mentions that she has left witnesses to her work, like in Extra Mission 2. I wonder if that will be a bigger plot point somewhere down the line.

Like Anya having pink hair, Endo expresses some regret about making Yor an assassin (but his laugh makes it clear he's not terribly hung up about it!)

Bond:

I know some people are bothered by the fact that Yor is Bond's least favorite. But I think Bond's (initial) dislike for her originated from the chapter where he assumes he would have died from her cooking. Also the fact that Anya put the idea in his head that she would "murder" him if he did something she didn't like, like shun her food (which is obviously heavily exaggerated). But again, this book was published over a year ago, and the most recent chapter revealed that he definitely doesn't dislike her even if she's not his favorite. It's perfectly normal for pets to have family members they prefer over others for whatever reason.

Franky:

I love that Franky does charity work. I hope we'll see that in a future chapter.

Fiona:

It's interesting that he ranks Fiona's combat ability so low, especially when you consider what she did to Wheeler in the recent arc. But to me, that wasn't so much a display of combat prowess as it was totally raw, uninhibited willpower.

Yuri:

I love his blunt answer about whether Yuri has other interests besides Yor. Also intriguing that he mentions Nightfall when discussing Yuri's combat ability…maybe those two will meet eventually?

Information about Garden

Since Garden is still such a mysterious entity in the SxF universe, I tried to gather everything about them that the book mentions.

It's interesting that Yor sees Shopkeeper as her mentor since he taught her survival skills in her youth. The book also raises the question about how Yor found Garden in the first place…maybe something Endo will expand on in the future?

So the information Franky gives us about Garden is exaggerated? Gah, that just makes them even more mysterious!

The above was a cool bit of trivia...so it seems like the secret police might know more about Garden than WISE. Perhaps Yuri will find out about Yor's real identity before Twilight?

Continue to Part 2 ->

[corvidcrossbow]

~•♡•~ Total Eclipse Of The Heart

➳ Summary: You take Daryl to watch the 2017 solar eclipse (Daryl x GN!Reader)

➳ Setting: Southern Virginia, August 21st, 2017 (in the 6 year timeskip in season 9)

➳ Word count: 1.6k

➳ C/W: Nothing

➳ A/N: Simple thing cuz I hated Leah watching something as special as the eclipse w/ Daryl in the show cuz I DO NOT LIKE her ass so I rewrote it cuz I believe there's few things more bonding than watching an eclipse with someone. Whippin out the dad music reference on this one. (I am working on reqs! I just have training for my job which my boss very reassuringly dubbed “bootcamp” and health shit is beating my ass I need to call like 3 specialty clinics again um 🗿)

“Ya ever gon’ tell me where we goin'?”

“Nope. Almost there,” You replied, a cheeky grin on your face as you swiveled your head back to glance at Daryl who sat behind you on his motorcycle. You'd dragged him out of his guilt-ridden solitude in the forest and demanded he get on, saying you needed to show him something and would not be taking ‘nah’ for an answer. You'd been driving southwest for nearly two hours now, headed towards something specific.

Daryl had little sense of the date, having spent nearly the last 3 ½ years out in the woods, wrapped up in his search for Rick. You stayed with him from time to time, Carol checking in as well, but he was too stubborn to go home with either of you no matter how many times you urged it. Even if he knew the day, you weren't sure he'd even know why it was special.

You, however, had been tracking the calendar and lunar cycles, and kept one specific date and pattern in your mind for the last 7 years; August 21st, 2017. You remembered ages ago, reading on science forums and listening to programs on the television, that today, the paths of the moon and the sun would perfectly align and grace a total solar eclipse across the entirety of the United States.

Your lives were such shit in so many ways: flesh eating, rotting corpses snarling after you at every second, run in after run in with malicious and corrupt people and groups, the lack of food, water, shelter and security, so many people gone – and that didn't include everything from before the dead reawoke. And with Daryl unadmittably depressed after the bridge, you would've done anything to show him there were other things in life to focus on. To live for.

So you left Alexandria early in the morning, found Daryl's camp, and forced him to join you. At first he'd thought something godawful had once again disturbed the communities, so bad you couldn’t tell him. But when you started driving the opposite direction, he grew confused and repeatedly asked what was going on, yet you never gave him an answer. Still, he trusted it was important – trusted you – and let you lead him.

❥-》》—————➣

You pulled off the side of the road, powering down the engine and putting up the kickstand, sliding off and stepping to walk into the forest. You'd gone further down into Virginia, knowing that was closer to totality. It wouldn't be complete, but the distance made a difference. “Alright, c'mon.”

Daryl grabbed your wrist, tugging you back and catching your attention, his eyebrows narrowed. “Really? Tha hell's s’all this? Ya haul me'ah hundred miles away tah walk in tha damn forest?”

“Ya spend all your time in a forest anyway, Dixon.” His expression hardered a little, and you sighed. “Please just follow me. I promise you, it's worth it.”

He looked over the features of your face, judging the sentiment they conveyed, and after a moment let you go. You were already here, no point in going back now. As you spun back around, he begrudgingly trailed after you.

You scanned the environment as you went, stopping near an opening in the canopy of trees that gave view to the sky. You could tell by the slanting of shadows and the slightly abnormal shape of light above you that the process had already begun, all that was left was to observe. So you set your bag down and sat, motioning for Daryl to as well.

“Thi'sa picnic or sum?” He questioned, grunting a little as he unsurely slung his belongings off his shoulder to the ground and did the same, settling beside you.

“Could be, I do have some food.” He didn't seem amused. “But no, not a picnic. You know what the day is? Any idea why it's meaningful?”

“Ts'summer, kno’ tha’. M'ah supposed tah kno’?”

“Maybe, I don't expect you to. Here.” You twisted and opened your bag, reaching for a welding mask you'd brought along and passed it to him. “Look at the sun.”

The archer eyed the facial shield, then you, but listened and held it to his face before shifting his gaze up. He squinted, taking sight of the arc carving that ate into the historically circular form of the burning celestial body. And you explained; “It's August 21st… 2017.”

He had to think for a bit. “Tha eclipse?” He lowered the mask and peered back at you. Memories lodged deep in the layers of his mind sparked; learning about eclipses way back in highschool and hearing his teacher mention it, then the annular one in ‘94 and seeing pictures plastered all over the news where they discussed the future.

“Yeah, thought we should see it. It'll look better down here, not perfect, but still… and the lens on that is dark enough it shouldn't hurt our eyes,” You answered, taking your own look before laying back and using your bag as a pillow. It wasn't particularly comfortable, but that's roughly the last thing you cared about right now.

He couldn't help but just stare for a minute, studying how nonchalant you were about everything. How you'd so easily removed him from his rut when so many other attempts had failed, even with his cluelessness around your intentions – like some larger force took hold and finally willed him to break his destructive routine.

Daryl sprawled out next to you on the forest floor, trading the welding shield back and forth over the course of the next half hour, as well as a piece of paper to see the casted geometry. You both watched as more and more of the sun was etched away, taking mental images each time and comparing the new form to the old. It was mostly quiet, lost in similar awe but varying thoughts. You inched closer every time it was his turn, assuming he noticed but didn't point it out.

“Y'know… total solar eclipses are meant to be when the deities and energies fuse, just as the paths do. A window for opportunities and transformation… time for change,” You commented, recalling all people said about the symbolism of such an event. He gave an ‘Mm’, just so you knew he'd heard you, but paid more attention to the progression in the ethers.

The world around you began to rapidly darken, a sliver of orange glow visible in the makeshift glasses. Knowing it was close, you slid your left palm into his right, weaving fingers together, and he returned the hold, still remaining absorbed in the view.

The moon crossed over the sun – at least as best it would from your vantage point; golden rays illuminating around solid black. As Daryl's eyes locked on the sky, taking it all in, yours locked on him, choosing to watch him over a potentially once in a lifetime occurrence. He lowered the mask to briefly see it fully, now reaching for the sheet.

He looked at peace, maybe for the first time in his life: the constant storm of thoughts that persistently clouded his mind finally parting, even if for just a small moment. You witnessed the glitter of genuine emotion return to his blue's, something you'd feared was so long abandoned it may have been forgotten. Rich browns of his wavy hair glowed iridescent auburns when shimmers of sunlight peeked through the leaves, perfectly complementing everything about his being.

You knew you each needed that change.

“I love you.”

He took a second, making sure the sound of your voice was real and not crafted by his own imagination. His head turned, somewhat staggered to find your eyes already meeting his. It was impossible to rip away, your visions warping together as you seemed to merge, entranced by the little crescents that reflected on each other's irises. His free hand ditched the paper and reached over as he partly rolled to his side.

“For a long time.”

In fluid movements, Daryl's calloused fingers smoothed across the delicate skin on your cheek, leaning in and bringing you to him in a longing kiss. You didn't entirely expect it, although you didn't expect anything in particular at all, too unsure of how he'd react. But you pushed back against him, deepening the kiss and paying no thought to anything beside how it felt to finally overlap with him – till he broke away.

“I love ya too,” He mused, accent thickening in the confession. When you opened your mouth to continue, he shut you up with another peck and angled your face straight above. “Watch. M'not bein’ tha reason ya miss this.”

Words could wait, but the eclipse would not. So you obliged, cuddling closer to him and squeezing his hand as birds and insects sung in a concerned ensemble triggered by the daylight's disappearance.

The tranquility was eerie, a sensation mostly left in the rubble of society and replaced by prevalent chaos. You wondered if the feeling was shared elsewhere; at home with everyone in Alexandria, with survivors across the entire rest of the country. Maybe those who didn't know thought the holy spirit was returning to rescue your raptured souls. Did the walkers pause to look too? Everything so out of the ordinary it caught their attention?

But none of that mattered to you, because you had it here. And you basked in it with the one person you'd always hoped you would've.

©corvidcrossbow 2024. I do not give permission for my works to be copied, modified or adapted to other platforms. My work may be translated only if asked and with proof of given consent.

[tasty-littl-snack]

Trying to understand the logic of people saying they’re done with Watcher and Ryan and Shane but will turn around and watch Buzzfeed Unsolved which has *checks notes* Ryan and Shane.

Yeah tbh. I think I can kinda understand it, it's like you're listening to earlier albums of your fave music artist, because they changed the genre with their latest album and you don't vibe with their new songs or watch a tv show's earlier seasons because the later one's totally destroyed the characters you liked. (Happened to me, like some things seriously had only two seasons and I'm ignoring the five next ones and two movies or whatever.)

So in that aspect I can kinda get it. Bfu started 8 years ago, that's a whole almost decade, and sometimes you don't really think of the quality of the content (because I will once again die on the hill that waverly gf ep is much better than waverly bfu I'm still confused how a show this badly made took off in the yt algo back in the day), but what it made you feel like, or where you were in life when you first watched/got into it. There's a kind of nostalgia attached to it and I imagine all of those fans who are like "I hate ghost files but I loooove bfu it's my comfort show", don't really care that it's Ryan and Shane it's the familiarity of watching it over and over for years and it being more memeable and quotable because those lines got repeated and memed to death over the years.

For example I don't really find myself coming back to the earliest eps of bfu if I had to rewatch them. I much prefer Ryan's normal voice to his theory one, and that's because seasons 6 and 7 are when Watcher was a thing, and their interpersonal relationship changed to a more "I like it here, we are friends". In the earlier seasons they aren't that close, Shane is more closed off and assholeish towards Ryan, and well Ryan is younger and thus more kind of playing a cool dude. I feel like he got to be more himself as the years went on and I like that.

That's also the odd thing about being a fan of real people as there is an interesting dichotomy to it. Like on one hand I respect them for what they do their comedy/craft/ability to express their creativity. On the other there's the respect for them as individuals, acknowledging that at the end of the day they are like. Just some guys making stuff. And people grow and change. You're not the same person you were at 25 when you are 34, you are not the same person you were at 30 and 38, but since you got immortalized at 25 and 30 and continue to make content for years people expect you to be always like that. A character that doesn't change, or changes according to a logic of a story. But real life is so much stranger and more interesting than that! There's no logic to your actions, you make mistakes and grow from them. At the time of making a decision you have no idea if it's a good or bad one or how it will go, and if you think you do I don't think you had serious choices to make in your life yet. But I think people expect of them to be those characters who don't change or grow. I assume those people have no respect for Ryan and Shane as real human beings, because they have some imagined version of them how they are presented in those episodes they watched over and over. So to them it doesn't matter that bfu has Ryan and Shane, because those are seen as different characters, not the "evil greedy capitalists who made their own company", but your friends that you know the best because you can quote their lines as you watch them in the background. And additionally there's the nostalgia of watching your beloved show that makes you feel younger because life was simpler back then. You didn't have your worries of adult life because you were in college/high school, and bfu reminds them of that. The fact that it's not giving watcher any money is only better for the haters bc it's like pirating. You still enjoy your favorite part of your blorbos, and don't feed "the big evil watcher" so kinda best of both worlds.

Some people also can't admit that the content didn't change that much, they just lost interest/grew out of it (and it's fine, interests change that's normal), but that's not on them, that's surely on Ryan and Shane for changing and evolving in their craft.

Baffling to me tbh because if I was a fan of them I'd wish them well not for their downfall and contribute to lower views by giving it to a big corporation (which isn't watcher). But that's just me.

Sorry this got deep I just am so tired of people saying bfu is better. It's really not you just miss the person you were when you watched it for the first time. That's the case with every 'comfort' show. It's why it brings you comfort. Real people behind it don't really matter.

[aniron48]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you for the tag, @anyawen! These were so much fun!

Answers under the cut, and tagging @sweetbabyangels, @mr-iskender, @stinastar, @aprettyspy and @thestalwartheart, in case you haven't done this already and it's of interest!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 30! That number seems astonishing to me now, considering I started writing fic in earnest like a year-and-a-half ago. 😁

2. What’s your total A03 word count? 138,358

3. What fandoms do you write for? James Bond, Glass Onion/Knives Out, and I just wrote my first fic for The Old Guard fandom, which has pulled me in by the lapels and refused to let me go. And the very first fic I ever wrote was for Stardew Valley.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? 1. A Good Man (Benoit Blanc/Phillip) 2. rain (00q) 3. open line (00q) 4. The More Loving One (00q) 5. Must Love Cats (00q)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Ok yes I definitely do and I love to *and also* I'm so sorry, I'm 288 days (yes I just checked) behind in responding to comments, because this year has been...something else. So, taking the opportunity to say that a) all of your comments are incredible bright spots for me, and b) I am working my way steadily through and enjoying your comments all over again as I re-read and respond to them.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? WELP (eyes my pile o' fics warily). If we go based off the fics with "Major Character Death" as a warning, for a certain value of angst, it's a tie between offering and and the wind at their backs. But both of these fics deal with grief, and the complicated emotions that result from the persistence of love even after the object of that love is gone, and there's some hope in that, too, I think.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? lmao most of the rest of them other than the two in number 6? 😂 this is a hard one to answer, so I'll list my RomCom-iest fics for now (Must Love Cats for 00q and in a space that they belong for The Old Guard). Special shout-out to 'tis the damn season, though, because the happiness at the end of this fic feels like some of the hardest fought, to me, and some of the tenderest I've written, I think.

8. Do you get hate on fics? No--I've gotten a few less than diplomatic comments, and a couple people making unflattering notes in bookmarks that I don't think they meant for me to see, but nothing terrible.

9. Do you write smut? ::offers you rain and for the age of the earth, and after as if I am a sommelier presenting you with some very fine wine:: "this one has notes of--" you know what I'm just going to stop there.

10. Do you write crossovers? I haven't yet!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? No, thank goodness (knocks on wood).

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not yet! #goals

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Use. Your. Words., which was a collaborative poem for 007 fest 2023. 😁

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship? I spent about five minutes hemming and hawing about this but you know what, it's impossible to pick. 😂

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Like Anyawen, I have aspirations of finishing all the ones hanging out in my Scrivener app...someday. Probably the one I have the most doubts about is a 5 + 1 fic where Bond tries out different activities post retirement. I still love the idea and some of the vision I had for this one, but it lives almost entirely in my head, still.

16. What are your writing strengths? I think maybe I have a good ear for language, both in terms of the rhythm of sentences and paragraphs, and for conveying a character's voice or accent. But it's hard to assess your own strengths, sometimes, so that's just my best guess!

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I'm actively working on trying to be better at descriptions, especially in giving details about setting or background. I realized I give these things short shrift, sometimes, and want to change that!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I'll do it with languages I'm fluent in (and have done it with Spanish, since I'm a native speaker).

19. First fandom you wrote for? Stardew Valley, in What Dreams May Come.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written? Omg, another one that is almost impossible to answer! I think I have to go with all the flags we've hung. This is one of my least popular fics--it's a rarepair, the love depicted in it is complicated (though no less real), and it deals with light topics like, you know, structural racism in the United States. As one does. But it's a fic that's incredible close to my heart, for many reasons, and I remain so proud of this one.

Phew! If you have read all of this you deserve a cupcake. 💜

xoxo, Ani

[thetruearchmagos]

15 OC Questions!

Thank you kindly @theprissythumbelina for the Tag!

You mentioned my MCs, but I wouldn't say I have any considering how I do the whole writing thing. So, for the sake of actually having something to talk about, I'll go with Gustav J. Schmidt, specifically in his post-Wars iteration.

1. Are you named after anyone? No, no, I don't believe so. 2. When was the last time you cried? Last week, and I'm not afraid to say it. We'd just wrapped a memorial, you see, and that night I suppose it all washed over me, as strong as ever. It was, nice, and at least I had Higgs with me... 3. Do you have kids? Oh, no, none at all! But, well, I've always... that is to say, we're not old crows yet, if you get my meaning! 4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Too often, and yet at the same time not enough. 5. What’s the first thing you notice about people? How they dress, followed by how they walk. 6. What’s your eye color? Blue like clear skies, and as sharp as they were a decade ago. 7. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings, any time. Never quite understood the appeal of horror, once you've seen enough of the real stuff cheap gore is soft stuff. 8. Any special talents? I'll have you know I played for the Army team at the Services Billiards Tourney for three years straight when I was a Captain at GSI, and we won the whole run! Oh, those were the days... 9. Where were you born? Well, that is for me to know, and for you, not to. 10. What are your hobbies? Well, these days I've finally found the time to polish off some old writing I left unfinished back at GSI- the General Staff Institute, that is. It's work, but the sort I for the passion of it more than anything else. 11. Have you any pets? Never could stand animals, myself. We had Ol' Sarge Scalie back in Shatihab, the Corps mascot, but I left him in the care of the veterinary folks as much as possible. Cute creature for a desert lizard, but acidic bile never had a place in my tent. 12. What sports do you play/have played? My old Colonel put me on the Battalion rugby team for a game, and that accounts for the sum total of my sporting career. Damn near broke my back that day... 13. How tall are you? Oh, last I checked I was fifteen short of two metres, which isn't much less than when I commissioned. The difference being that I was considered lanky at 19, and now decidedly less so. 14. Favorite subject in school? Oh, I adored history! Majored in it at Northrop, and whenever I was out of field work I tried to get sent somewhere academic to get more of it. Military history, for the most part, though I suppose that comes with the uniform. 15. Dream job? Well, unless another war breaks out and my services find themselves in need, I'm hoping to keep where I am now. A permanent residency at GSI would be nice, or perhaps the new Combined Services Staff Institute they're opening. I've every confidence that our new officership will prove themselves to be every bit our superiors, and I'd like to help make that happen.

I, myself, will be Tagging @hessdalen-globe (For you nagging!) @athenswrites @thatndginger @avrablake @coffeexafterxmidnight and anyone who'd like to take part!

[foxsoulcourt]

15 questions

(or the time I almost pasted a comment intended for Hunting, @roseforthethorns + Only_1_Truth's recent spicy 🌶🌶🌶 JB/Q/AT werewolf au instead of the questions to answer 👀😂)

Ty @bishybarnaby + @macontheweb for asking me to play! 💜

1. Are you named after anyone? Kind of. My mama's best friend's name was Laurie + she like the sound of it so she came up w/something similar. (Grateful my dad ix-nayed the Two Grandmother's Name idea because Patience Josephine is a l o t for one small human to shoulder.)

2. When was the last time you cried? Two nights ago during a rewatch of Madam Secretary s05 e16 The New Normal about climate change-related migrations. Before that got weepy while listening to a friend explain the complicated surgery + recovery protocol she's navigating.

3. Do you have kids? Yep, two 24 y.o. born 5 minutes apart. Very different in almost every way, currently living in two different states. Each are DeLiGhTfuL humans which makes being family a lot of fun. ~ Interestingly, this almost wasn't my story. I'm deeply grateful neither of my parents pushed marriage or kids onto my ideas for the future. I grew up knowing neither choice is for everyone, nor an indicator of a rich, full life, and well into my twenties I was utterly convinced neither were for me. ~ As life unfolded I did a shit-ton of therapy, decided to stick around this place + then later on met my person. We're well-matched in many great ways, so when things shifted inside both of us, our two came into the world. We intentionally raised + launched them aligned with our quirky values + interests which turned out to be a trickier design challenge than I anticipated. Worthy though! But, ummm, I'm STILL kinda tired, so if you choose to do the kid thing, please get more sleep than I did while you do it. Your future self will be grateful. Plus if you have ovaries, menopause is a w a y easier journey if you've been getting enough sleep beforehand. #adrenal fatigue is real

4. Do you use sarcasm? Occasionally I hint at it, but no. It makes me emotionally + physically squirm.

5. What is the first thing you notice about people? Hmmmm, intuitively I pick up how emotionally safe they are, both within themselves + how they're likely to interact with others. Next I notice what draws their eyes. Then I get curious about what they choose to wear + why. Sometimes it's the exact opposite sequence.

6. What is your eye color? Green

7. Scary movies or happy endings? Ha! Happy endings!!! CanNOT watch anything remotely scary.

8. Any special talents? After years + years of wondering WTAF, I realised I'm the human equivalent of a portable sanctuary. Not always (that would be aNnOyiNg for all involved!), but often there's something about how I listen + interact w/people that makes them feel safe enough to share something about themselves, an insight, or chitchat about A Real Thing. It happens literally a n y w h e r e. Yesterday it was w/a guy in the grocery store check out line.

9. Where were you born? Within a mile of a small beach in a formerly sleepy southern Californian town, USA; moved to the PNW when I was 12. West coast gal all the way.

10. What are your hobbies? Chopping vegetables while listening to old school jazz, reading, dinking around in the garden, going for walks to look at other people's gardens, evolving as a human being, making Mr FSC laugh so his eyes crinkle. Vague itch to pick up some sort of fabric art activities in 2023.

11. Do you have any pets? After the heart-break of nursing first one + then a second older man cat to the other side (see below), I've become an avid backyard bird watcher. This includes staring out the window at LoTs of little brown birds + talking to the neighbourhood crows.

12. What sports do you play/have you played? All my life I've been physically active, almost always outside the bounds of defined sports. In high school I swam + played on the badminton team and both were a total gas, but that was because we were a team of weirdos doing something fun together. Swimming, bike riding, hiking, sailing, skiing, dancing, walking - all of it - is for the joy of feeling my body in motion. I am so f*%ing grateful to my parents for leading by example in this way which, thankfully, I seem to have passed onto both of our kids.

13. How tall are you? 5′6" / 167 cm

14. Favorite subject in school? All of them. Seriously. I loved learning about the natural world which opened up into all.of.the.sciences. Loved learning mathematics even when it was moderately hard; stopped when it got really hard. Adored reading + writing, and then writing about what I read. Liked art + cooking + sewing (which was still taught at the time). Took Spanish + then went to Latin America to speak it. Enjoyed learning how to speak persuasively, up in front of other people. Reading this over I started laughing because it makes sense of my Uni experience! Spent a few years on a journey through most of these topics before I narrowed it down to History of Science. Which still covers almost all of them PLUS included the study of people + institutions! Grad school was focused on leadership development + how to navigate organisational change, which meant picking up organisational psychology to add into the mix.

15. Dream job? Having had s e v e r a l already + being in the 3rd act of life w/the need to make a bit more money, this is a f a s c i n a t i n g, topical + tender question. I've loved what I've done: waited tables; collaboratively created a customer service + accounting dept within a successful dot com start up within a major retailer; lay minister with teens in a queer positive church; parent; organisational change consultant. B u T, I've also experienced mental + physical exhaustion 3x. The last episode has been particularly challenging to recover from, so the question at hand is how to be moderate. I hear it's possible + have seen others achieve this goal. Recently started back up w/therapy to figure why it's been challenging for me thus far. Dream of dreams? Consultant designing + facilitating important conversations w/in organisations navigating changes in leadership styles between The Old Way + what's evolving. I'm pretty skilled at inter-generational dynamics which is a deal these days. Goal is to get paid handsomely enough for doing it part time. Stretch goal? Flesh out some scribbled notes pinned on the bulletin board >> write a couple of small square books about organisational change + Generation Flux + sTuFf.

Who else wants to play? If you're interested, @fuzzballsheltiepants, @pomponiaia, @christinefromsherwood, @anyawen, @merceyca, @leahlisabeth, @youreyestheyglow. I'm guessing any one of you will do this in 50% fewer words. 😉 Carrying forward bishy's caveat: this one is long and also personal, so feel free to nope out if you'd rather not!

Here are sweet Oscar + Mr Bingley, may they continue to rest in peace while nourishing the garden.

[suelaruewalks]

Day 6: Marina to Monterey

Total distance: 12 miles (The watch konked out at 10, but I kept going)

Total trip distance: 76 miles in 6 days!

Today was my last day of trekking and my last day of posting. Thank you all for walking with me this week. After a less than satisfying vacation on my own many years ago, I was a little uneasy about this trip. Could I walk the miles? Would I get sick of myself?

I could not have asked for a better week. The weather was beautiful, even when not sunny. The people were friendly. And walking helped to quiet my mind while focusing my attention. Ted often says, “Be where your feet are.” I was here all week with one foot in front of the other with the people (and Izzy) I love in my heart. My training prepared me better than I could have imagined, and I walked farther than I thought I could.

It was another 12 miles today, but with about half on the path, I made it with enough energy to see the Monterey aquarium. Several years ago, I spent one night here for work, but no time to see the town or the aquarium. I always said I would make it back, and I finally did.

This trip was my 50th birthday present to myself, but it was a gift that I owe much thanks to others for as well.

Thank you to Marie Henley of Slow Adventure. Without her, there is no Walk the Bay trip. Her knowledge, coordination and warm spirit made this a once in a lifetime journey. She stood ready to scoop me up if needed and waited patiently while I trudged those last miles to Moss Landing. She also gave me extra cookies, which we know is important.

Thank you to California for being a welcoming, wonderful and stunning host.

Thank you to all of you who have encouraged me and reached out this week. When I was tired or felt that pesky blister, I knew that you were cheering me on. A special thanks to my bff who cheered me on from a million different beaches on a bay 3000 miles away.

Thank you to Chris and Kurt for always being on my team 365/24/7. You have walked with me through so much this year, and I know how lucky I am.

Thank you to my husband and biggest cheerleader, Ted. His confidence in me never wavered, and while he was not here physically today, his beautiful flowers with a note of congratulations were waiting for me at the hotel. The last steps of this trip tomorrow to him at the airport will mark the end of this fantastic journey.

Thanks for walking with me this week! xo Sue

[taestefully-in-luv]

Always You | JJK (Six)

Summary: you and Jungkook have been best friends since freshmen year of college, there’s a lot of unsaid feelings and tension but neither make a move. what happens when his friend Taehyung (also your crush) needs a fake girlfriend?

Pairing: Jungkook x Female reader, slight Taehyung x Reader

Genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, slight slow burn, roommate au, college au, SMUT (starting ch2), fluff, angst (in later chapters) slight crack, lots of drama

Word Count: 18.3k

Warnings: Swearing, alcohol consumption, sexual tension (!!!), mention of drugs, mention of threesomes, mention of erection, grinding in sleep, car sex, riding, heated make out, hickeys, light hair pulling, light spanking

Notes: Not entirely sure how I feel about this chapter to be honest but here it is regardless! I hope you guys enjoy it:) ALSO those teaser pics from today!!! Anyway feel free to send an ask if you want to be added to the taglist or just want to chat about the story:)

Taglist: @mooniyooni @thisartemisnevermisses @giadalin @kookiebunny097 @cosmosjk @moonchild1 @just-jeon @anpanman-sonyeondan @starlight-night0 @yessii-i @apollukee @mikasaredscarf1 @kaye-rosales @bunnyjeonjk @dyriddle @seagulljk @hass-mich-los @peachy-skz0325 @wonusbitch @not-your-lion @flowersgirl02 @justinetingball @fiantomartell

© taestefully-in-luv

Previous---Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The week drags on slowly and horribly, Monday you had a raging migraine that just wouldn’t go away. Tuesday you were late for your job and were scolded for it. Wednesday you spilled your black coffee all over your white blouse. And today, Thursday, you started your period. This week could not get any worse. Oh wait, yes it can—you just remembered you promised Jungkook you would attend his get together.

You hope things won’t be awkward with Nick…Jungkook has assured you that things are cool and Nick isn’t mad about what happened.

Jungkook 5:15pm

Hey :) so, I was thinking you could bring that 16% wine we always drink?

Jungkook 5:50pm

It starts at 7 but you can come earlier if you want

Jungkook 6:00pm

Or you don’t have to,..it was just a suggestion.

Y/N 6:02pm

I’ll be there at 7.

Jungkook 6:02pm

Ok cool :) I can’t wait to hang out.

You click your phone off, groaning into your pillow. Your cramps are fucking killer and you want to die. You look to your nightstand to see your water and pain killers, you reach for them and swallow them down. Hopefully this helps.

You decide to start getting ready, you settle on some jeans and your favorite striped sweater. Like, who are you trying to impress?

You hear your phone buzzing from your bed and you hurry to answer it.

“Hello?”

“I’m outside whore.”

“Kay be out in a sec.”

You hang up your phone, stuffing it in your back pocket. You gather your things and do one last look in the mirror—casual but cute.

“Holly! They’re here!”

You two rush down to the parking lot where Jimin is parked, Trina and Holly sit in the backseat while you occupy the passenger seat.

“You ready?” Jimin smirks.

~~~~~~

Before you know it, Jimin is knocking on Jungkook and Nick’s front door.

“By the way, I still can’t believe you didn’t who nick was…”

“I never come over here! Jungkook usually comes to mine…” Jimin answers in pout.

The door swings open and there stands Nick, in all his hot glory.

“Hey Nick…” you say, avoiding eye contact but Nick is chipper as can be as he nods at you and everyone else.

“Hey Jungkook! y/n is here!” he calls behind him.

“I mean, we’re here too but go off I guess.” Jimin’s mutters from beside you.

The four of you walk into the apartment, Jungkook still nowhere to be seen.

The small place is filled with maybe 5 other people, you are quick to nod at everyone in greeting. You catch Jungkook leaving his bedroom with Vanessa following closely behind him, you can’t help but roll your eyes. Jungkook finds you staring at him and he grins, walking closer to you and your friends.

“y/n!” he goes in for a quick, unexpected hug.

“Hi.”

“Jimin!” he hugs Jimin too, “and Hey Tr—”

“Go fuck yourself.”

“Yup, nice to see you too Trina.” Jungkook smiles anyway, “And you must be Holly?” he extends his hand out for her to shake. She takes it while smiling awkwardly.

“I’m glad you guys came!” Jungkook scratches the back of his head, “This is uh, this is Vanessa.” He introduces the girl standing beside him.

Vanessa is pretty…really pretty actually. She has short black hair, it looks soft and sleek. She is taller than you, her height almost rivaling Jungkook’s. But she is still smaller than him.

“Hi everyone.” She says flatly.

She doesn’t look interested in meeting any of you, or interested in any of the people here. She grabs her phone from her bag and starts scrolling through it as Jimin introduces everyone.

“And this is y/n.” he finally finishes, gesturing towards you.

At this, Vanessa looks up from her phone to eye you up and down, “Right.” Is all she says, then her eyes are back on her screen.

Wow, quite the charmer. You look at Jungkook whose eyes are already on you, and he chuckles nervously.

“Well, did you bring that wine?” he asks you.

You pull it from the bag you are holding and hand it to him, “Here…” his hand goes to reach it and his fingers brush against yours and you shudder.

“Umm, I’ll pour us all a glass.” He takes the bottle, faces Vanessa and heads toward the kitchen while Vanessa follows him. You watch as they disappear into the other room and you release a breath.

“That’s the bitch he’s fucking?” Trina asks bluntly, one eyebrow raised in question. “She didn’t even look at us!”

“Let’s be nice,” Holly says.

“Fucking fine.” Trina rolls her eyes. Hard.

You can’t help but agree though, Vanessa seems…you don’t know, but why would Jungkook like her? She seems rude, and uninterested in literally everything.

“You’re never going to get over her like this, you know?” Vanessa continues to look at her screen as she speaks to Jungkook. “You’re just hurting yourself.” Her eyes dart towards her glass being poured, “I don’t even like this wine, I told you I wanted the other one.”

“It’s y/n’s favorite.” He exhales deeply as he pours more glasses.

“Oh right, so is this how it’s going to be?” Vanessa clicks her phone off and slides it in her purse, “Now that she’s back in your life everything is going to be about her?”

“No, Vanessa…” he looks up from the bottle, “We’re still…” he gestures between their bodies.

“Right.” She says, tapping her fingers against the counter, “Totally.”

“So what game shall we play?” Jungkook sits down between you and Vanessa, his body vibrating in excitement. (How you and Vanessa ended up sitting next to each other in the first place? You don’t know. But thankfully Jungkook saves the day.)

“How bout never have I ever!” Jimin winks at everyone, “It’s always a good way to get to know new people.”

“Fine.” Trina says with a smirk

“Yeah, I’m down!” Nick says, high fiving his same bro who believes in aliens.

Various ‘yes’s are heard around the room and you nod your head too.

“If you’ve done it, you drink, that’s the rule.” Jimin states “I’ll go first. Never have I ever done coke.”

A few people you aren’t well acquainted with groan and take a sip of their drinks, Jimin looks at you as he passes his turn.

“Uh,” you look up at the ceiling, “Never have I ever had a threesome.”

You notice every single one of your friends taking a drink, Jungkook included. Well, you shouldn’t be surprised. Damn, even Holly? Are you just lame?

Jungkook goes next, “Never have I ever ate ass!” Jimin raises his glass and he take a gulp.

Everyone’s laughing and having a good time, the game continues on for several rounds, everyone drinking at different times but everyone collectively getting drunker.

The turn is back on you…”Never have I ever cheated on a college exam.”

“Fucking liar!” Jungkook snickers beside you, “You copied like half my answers in bio!”

“Oh true.” You say nonchalantly, “Never mind. Jungkook your turn.”

Jungkook thinks for a few moments, “Never have I ever not made a girl come.” He smirks.

“Okay ladies man, we get it, fucking whore.” Jimin sticks his tongue out.

Next is Vanessa’s turn, she tilts her head side to side thinking on what she wants to say.

“Never have I ever had sex with my best friend.” She says, her voice smooth and silky.

You choke on your spit when you process her words, your head snaps to Jungkook’s. He’s already looking at you, debating if he should drink—especially in front of all your friends.

He watches in horror as you begin to raise the glass to your lips, your eyes never leaving his. He raises his own glass to his mouth and takes a sip as you do the same and the room goes quiet.

Jimin watches the two of you, his eyes widening in shock as he puts two and two together.

“Wait wait wait.” Trina speaks up, “Did you two…?” she looks between you two before her eyes settle on you, “When?”

“Yeah, when?” Jimin asks quietly, sounding betrayed.

“Can we not do this right now?” you plead.

Jungkook is nodding his head in agreeance, “Yeah guys….this is a bit…” he glances over at Vanessa who is quietly sipping her wine, she blinks at Jungkook a few times before taking another sip.

“So you two have fucked!” Nick says, totally oblivious. Fucking Nick.

“It was a really long time ago, it meant nothing…” you save while striking a chord in Jungkook, he clenches his jaw. “Well, it meant nothing for only some of us,” he grits out. You feel a pang in your chest. What does he mean by that?

“Okay, would if we all take a moment to relax…” Holly intervenes. She stands up, taking her glass and Trina’s glass to the kitchen.

“It’s getting late anyway.” You stand too, you look at Trina and Jimin with apologetic eyes and nod towards the door, “Let’s get going.”

“Wait y/n,” Jungkook stands up as well, grabbing on to your arm. “Can we talk for a moment?” he motions towards the balcony. “Please.”

You roll your eyes but go along with it, you follow him out the back on to the balcony. It’s a small space, forcing you to stand somewhat close to Jungkook.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that last thing…” he begins, “You were just trying to save the conversation….right?”

“Right.” You agree. You fold your arms over your chest, you want this day to be over with.

“Other than this last bit…I had a lot of fun…you know…everyone hanging out. It was nice,” Jungkook shakes his head a bit, his hair falling all over his face, covering his big doe eyes. You can’t help but reach up and tuck some wild strands away so you could see him properly.

He freezes when you do that.

“Oh sorry…habit.”

“No no its okay, I was just surprised is all.” He smiles, and you feel your heart glow.

“Vanessa seems…” you don’t know why you bring her up right now but you do.

“Nice.”

Jungkook bites down on his bottom lip, looking at you with serious eyes,

“You don’t like her.”

He chuckles lightly, “I still know when you’re lying.”

“Sorry,” you laugh into your palm, “She just doesn’t seem all that interested in anyone.”

“Including me?”

“Kind of…sorry.” You look up at him, “It’s none of my business.”

“Well, you’re my friend so I value your opinion.”

“Okay then…I just can’t seem to find what you might like about her…” Your honest nature isn’t something Jungkook isn’t use to, but he still feels defensive.

“Well, you don’t know her.”

“Do you?”

He opens his mouth to answer but falls short of a response. He stuffs his hands into his front pockets of his jeans and lets out a small groan.

“Can we go one day without fighting?” he whispers.

“Sorry.” You offer a half ass apology. “Jimin and the rest are probably waiting for me so—”

“Wait…” he grabs your wrist and pulls you closer to him, “Can I hug you? Since I have to ask now.”

“If I say no?”

“Then I will probably cry myself to sleep.”

“Well, we can’t have that can we?”

“So that’s a yes?”

You look up into Jungkook’s endearing eyes and nod your head yes, he doesn’t waste another second before he’s wrapping his arms around you and engulfing you in a sweet embrace. He smells like his laundry detergent and his natural scent, the combo making you dizzy—as usual. You finally return the hug, your own arms circling around his waist. You feel him inhale you and you can’t help but do the same…you missed this. You missed his touch—his warmth. You missed him.

“I missed you too.”

Oh, did you say that out loud?

“Yes you did.” He chuckles into your neck. his hot breath hitting your skin making you shudder.

“I missed you so much.” He whispers into your hair, his words almost getting lost in your locks.

“Then why did you replace me so quickly?” you whisper into his chest, you feel his heart beat faster than before.

“I don’t like her, Jungkook.” You admit.

“Please just give her a chance…for me, please.” He exhales into your neck before nuzzling further.

“Do you like her?” you brace yourself for the answer, you grip on to his shirt, bunching up the material in your hands.

“Yes.” He tightens his hold on you, “but, it’s complicated.”

You pull back from him, “Wait…you really do like her? Oh…” you drop your arms from his body.

“y/n…This is hard for me. She’s the only thing distracting me from…” he gulps, “Things.”

You take a step back, confused.

“Things?” you scoff, “What aren’t you telling me Jungkook?”

“Don’t worry about it.” He whispers, his hands still rest on your waist. He pulls you closer again, “I’m working on it.” He looks into your eyes and you can’t help but stare at his lips as he licks them.

“How hard are you working on it?” you wrap your hands around his middle again, stepping closer to him.

“I don’t…know…” he breathes out erratically. His eye becoming half lidded as he stares down at you, “I….dont …know….” He repeats in a daze.

Your hands travel up his back until your grabbing on to his hair, using this to tilt his head down gently.

“You’ll tell me eventually, won’t you?” you angle your head upwards, he slowly begins to lean down, his eyes shutting as he leans in closer and closer. You part your lips slightly waiting in anticipation for his lips to find yours.

“You’re so fucking unfair…” You feel Jungkook’s whisper hit your lips as he begins closing the distance.

Then the door fucking opens, you and Jungkook jumping apart at the sudden intrusion.

“y/n are you ready?” Jimin looks between you two, he eyes you suspiciously before looking at you expectantly.

“Right, yeah.” You look at Jungkook who is as red as a fucking cherry. He scratches his head with one hand and uses to the other to usher you inside. Were you and Jungkook about to…? Holy shit. What has gotten into you?

Before you go inside you turn around to face him, “Maybe we can talk about this later?”

“Uh, maybe.” Jungkook looks at the floor as you speak to him, he sways from one foot to another. “See you later y/n.”

~~~~

“Fucking spill it.” Trina spits out once you four are in the car. She aggressively puts on her seatbelt as Jimin turns on the car but refuses to drive anywhere until you talk.

“Can this wait til we’re home?” you whine, putting on your own seatbelt.

“I agree with y/n, Trina. Let’s wait…” Holly’s troubled smile begs Jimin to drive you all home back to your place.

Jimin is silent as he puts the car in reverse and begins driving. Just complete silence coming from him, which is more worrisome than him yelling at you.

The drive is mostly quiet, you can tell Trina is really forcing herself to keep it down while Holly has a death grip on her thigh. You want to laugh at their dynamic but you don’t think anyone is in the mood to laugh right now.

Once home, you drag out one of the chairs at the breakfast table and plop down, taking a seat. Your three friends follow your lead, each taking a seat at the table.

“Guys…do we really have to do this…?” you fold your hands out in front of you on top of the table.

“If it’s really that hard to talk about, no. But I would like it if we did…” Trina tries to say calmly.

You chew on your lips—your usual bad habit as you think. Do you tell them everything? About that night? Your true intentions? It’s silent for a while until Jimin quietly clears his throat.

“Neither of you told me…my best friends…” he stares down at the table top.

“When?” he whispers.

You stare at Jimin, who sits across from you and you feel your heart break just a bit. He looks and sounds so betrayed.

“Freshmen year. New Year’s Eve party.” You finally say.

Trina’s eyes expand, realization hitting her.

“Wait wait wait.” She throws her hands up, “New Year’s Eve party? The night you were going to….?”

You only nod your head yes, feeling fucking embarrassed.

“Going to what?” Jimin asks.

“Nothing!” You and Trina say at the same time.

“Really guys?” Jimin looks down at his hands, a frown taking over his face. “Is that how we’re going to be?”

You do feel bad but are you ready for Jimin to know? One look at his sad face and you guess the answer is yes.

“That night I was going to…” you begin, the memory of that night coming back to you.

Tonight is the night. It’s New Year’s Eve and you’re going to do it. Maybe it’s this glass of wine that’s giving you courage—liquid courage—but you feel like tonight is a good as any.

Jungkook promised you no girls tonight…that tonight is between two best friends with no interruptions. And you believe him, of course. In the months you have known Jungkook he has always kept his word to you.

You lean back in your rolling chair, bringing the glass of wine to your lips and you take a generous sip…yes, tonight you are going to do it. You are going to confess to Jungkook.

“What’s got you so nervous tonight?” Trina asks as she applies her dark lipstick to her thick lips. Trina and you are getting ready in your dorm for the long awaited New Year’s Eve party and she can tell something is weird about you. You keep rubbing your sweaty hands down your black skirt, you keep patting your sweaty forehead dry with one of your t shirts, you keep looking in the mirror and taking much needed deep breaths. You are obvious. So fucking obvious.

“I could be wrong but it looks like you’re worried about a dead body you’re trying to hide…” Trina’s hand stops mid lipstick application as she glances at you, “bitch, you know I will help you.”

You can’t help but laugh, easing some of the nerves.

“No, nothing like that…” you know Trina knows. She’s had her assumptions but she never lets the subject linger…she basically is a bad bitch who minds her business…unlike someone you know—Jimin. Who ALWAYS has some shit to say about you and Jungkook, he on the other hand is a messy bitch who does NOT mind his business.

“It’s about…” you struggle to complete your sentence as you gulp down more wine.

“You don’t have to say…I know. Just know that no matter what, I am on your side.” Trina goes back to applying another layer of lipstick, “Especially if you have to hide a body.”

“Sometimes I wonder about you.” You say flatly.

Trina only laughs that loud ass laugh you love so much. “You wonder about me?” she winks.

It’s your turn to apply your own lipstick to your lips, a nice soothing red when you receive a text from Jimin that he and Jungkook are on their way to the party.

“I hope Stephanie is going to be there tonight…” Trina mumbles underneath her breath, “if not, this outfit is a complete waste” You giggle as you continue to apply your lipstick. You check your phone again to see another text that they’re there,

“Shit, we gotta get going!” You drop your lipstick in your bag and a few other essentials.

Trina raises a brow at you, “Are you trying to rush me?” she looks amused. “You can’t rush perfection.” she threads her fingers through her bouncy hair, “Lucky for you, I am done! And also, always perfect.”

“Yes yes miss perfect, we get it. Let’s go!”

The party is without a doubt: booming. The amount of decorations and alcohol and people is impressive. This is surely about to be a party worth remembering—and you hope you do. You decide to only sip a few beers—wanting to stay at least a little bit sober when you confess and you hope Jungkook isn’t completely shit faced either. Speaking of, where is he? Your eyes scan the crowd, you see Jimin surrounded by a group of people, laughing his head off. You see Trina grinding on some girl…maybe Stephanie? And you see Jungkook on the other side of the living room, sipping on his drink while some girl talks to him. But his eyes are on you. You crack an awkward smile and he turns to face the girl that is trying so hard to talk to him. He says a few words to her and is quickly leaving her side, he is now walking towards you. You can’t help but feel nervous as he approaches you…tonight’s the night, you keep reminding yourself.

You never not liked Jungkook…If you weren’t so shy maybe you would have slept with him the first night you met him… but instead you became friends and that was without a doubt the best thing that could of happened for you two. But in the back of your mind you always wanted more. Something always tugged at your hands, begging you and pulling you in the direction of more with Jungkook. But he seems fine with the friendship…so much so that you thought that maybe pursuing him would be best if you pushed it to the side.

Unfortunately for you, you just couldn’t take it anymore. Your feelings so overwhelming that you got pushed the edge. You’re about to fall off the Jungkook cliff so you decide instead of falling against your will, you will control the situation—parachute and all, you are ready the fall. You’re going to confess.

“What’s with your face?” Jungkook finally stands in front of you, his hands pushed into the front pocket of his jeans.

You take a moment to take in Jungkook’s appearance…his tight jeans, his black combat boots and a white t shirt, with his coat draped over his left arm. He looks good. Really good. You crumble at the sight.

“Who’s the girl?” you catch yourself asking. It isn’t odd for you to pry into his life like this so the words don’t taste weird leaving your mouth…but, only you know you’re only asking because the tinge of jealousy you feel.

“Dunno.” He shrugs his shoulders, “I think I have a class with her.”

“Oh nice.” You also shrug, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. “Shall we dance?” you nod your head towards the center of the living room where bodies shamelessly dry hump other bodies. You think you’ve seen Jimin grind on at least 10 different people tonight.

“Sure.” He smiles, his arm extends out for you to lead the way.

Somehow you went from sipping on a couple beers to taking shots with none other than your best friend. The two of you go from the living rooms dance floor to the kitchen for hours. The world becomes friendlier and a little blurrier but it’s nothing you can’t handle. You remind yourself to slow down, because you want to at least remember telling Jungkook your feelings for him and you want to remember his response. But wait—would if he rejects you? The thought lingers in your mind, so what do you do? You take another shot.

The air that surrounds the dance floor is different than the rest of the house…its hot, sweaty and downright dangerous. You and Jungkook find yourself dancing along with Trina and Jimin at some point, the 4 of you spinning around, jumping and hugging one another. Laughter filling the air, everything is perfect.

You feel Jungkook’s tatted fingers grip your waist as you dance on him, his fingers never find themselves going lower. And you wish they did.

“Guys! Guys!” You hear Jimin’s voice from a distance, but quickly growing closer.

Jimin stands next to the two of you as you guys are in your own world, the alcohol running through your veins, the music thumping loudly in your ears, Jungkook’s hands holding on to you tightly. Your bodies move together to the beat of the music, Jungkook’s head innocently falling into the crook of your neck. You innocently grinding your ass into his crotch.

All very innocent.

“Wow, just fuck already.” Jimin rolls his eyes playfully, “GUYS!”

“What?!” you and Jungkook yell back in unison, not having liked being interrupted.

An evil smirk makes its way on Jimin’s face, “Upstairs. Let’s go! Truth or dare, come on!”

Truth or dare? What are you guys, 12? You giggle into your hand, nodding your head approvingly. It should be fun. You follow Jimin’s lead up the stairs, you turn around to see Jungkook right after you. You reach for his hand, you two interlocking fingers as you stumble up the stairs trying to keep each other stable. The two of you giggle for no apparent reason as you make your way up, making Jimin roll his eyes again.

You’re about to enter the room when Jungkook stops just outside the door.

“Wait…Jimin?” Jungkook nibbles on his lips, “Can I talk to you for a sec?”

You and Jimin share a concerned look before you announce your departure.

“I’ll see you guys inside.” You smile, letting go of Jungkook’s hand.

“What’s up man?”

“Dare me to kiss y/n.” Jungkook states confidently. Jimin tilts his head in confusion then amusement.

“Why don’t you just kiss her without my help, hm?” Jimin teases, ruffling the younger ones hair. “But sure, why not?”

“Thanks, I owe you.”

“Oh you sure do.” Jimin winks, “Now come on.”

You’re sitting in a circle in the room with about 8 other people, some you’ve barely talked to, others you would consider friends. Jungkook and Jimin walk into the room and you notice Jungkook’s face is a soft pink…probably from the alcohol. Jungkook finds a spot on the floor next to you and he smiles gently in your direction, giving you the heads up that everything is okay. You just nod your head and smile back. The room is loud with chatter and laughter until Jimin stands up and clanks a wine glass with a spoon—ever the dramatic.

“Okay guys, we all know why we are here—truth or dare time!” He sits down in his spot, crossing his legs in front of him, “First, let’s start with Trina.”

“Of course.” Trina says flatly.

“Truth or dare?” Jimin smirks.

“Dare, obviously” she looks around the room, winking at several people.

“Okay,” Jimin pretends to think for a few moments, like he doesn’t already know what he’s going to say. “Dare you to flash your tits to everyone.”

“Oh? Is that all?” Trina quickly lifts her shirt up, revealing her bare breasts to the room. You and Jungkook cackle as you watch the scene unfold.

“Okay Hobi…” Trina nods towards to the bright smiling boy, “Truth or dare?”

“Dare!” he grins with all his teeth, no doubt excited “Okay, I dare you to take 3 shots in a row.”

The truths and dares continue on like this for quite a while. You being lame chose truth at first and had to admit when the last time you masturbated—which was 10 minutes before Trina arrived to your dorm. Jungkook had to spank some guys ass and Jimin had to make out with like, 3 different people. Which he wasn’t complaining. All was well…until it was Jimin’s turn again.

“Okay, Jungkook. Truth or dare?” Jimin smiles knowingly with an evil glint in his eye.

“Dare.” Jungkook says with a cocky smile.

“I dare you to kiss y/n.”

You immediately choke on your drink as you process his words. Jungkook? Kiss YOU? In front of everyone?

Everyone in the room starts whooping and hollering at the idea, but you shake your hands in front of you in denial.

“No, no. We can’t do that!” you slur, your eyes squeezing shut. This isn’t how things are supposed to happen! You need to confess first!

You miss the way Jungkook’s face falls as he looks between you and Jimin. Jimin looks at Jungkook with pity and mouths a ‘sorry’.

“Yeah, no way in hell am I kissing her.” Okay, maybe he didn’t have to sound so harsh. But he feels a bit rejected at the moment and needs to be on your same page.

“Uh, yeah.” You feel a pang in your chest. Oh. Jungkook doesn’t want to kiss you, not even as a dare.

“That’s literally the last thing I want to do!” You hear him cackle from beside you, “Someone else can do the honors!” he continues to bark loudly, laughter filling the room.

Jimin frowns, looking at Jungkook with knowing eyes as he clasps his hands together. “Fine. Kiss Amber instead.”

“That I can do.” Jungkook smirks, looking across the room to a blushing Amber.

Things are starting to feel like they are crumbling…you shouldn’t even confess anymore, right? Jungkook will clearly reject you. The thought makes you want to cry like a stupid ass baby.

“I’m gonna get something more to drink.” You say to no one in particular as you stand to your feet. Jimin watches you leave the room with sad eyes, then his eyes go to Jungkook who looks panicked.

You open the door and go to close it behind you when you feel it being pushed open again. Jungkook.

You ignore him the whole way down the stairs but he continues to silently follow you.

The party is still going hard when you make your way downstairs again, you weave through the crowd to get to the kitchen to fetch yourself another beer.

“y/n! Wait up!” you hear Jungkook call from behind you but you decide to ignore him.

You find the cooler of beers and grab yourself one, the chilling beer freezing against your fingertips. You crack it open and begin chugging it back, enjoying the carbonation that sizzled down your throat.

“Slow down Lightning McQueen.” Jungkook chuckles next to you.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” you don’t mean to snap, but you do. You feel tired, just tired.

“What’s with you?” he quirks a brow, looking adorable while doing so.

“What are you doing here?” you snap again, “Shouldn’t you be like, making out with Selena or whatever her name is.”

Jungkook tilts his head to the side, his doe eyes big and bright, “Selena? Oh! You mean Amber? Nah, I saw you leaving so I came with you.” He smiles, “I told you no girls tonight. I am spending new year with you.”

You blink at him in surprise, but you shouldn’t be surprised. Jungkook always keeps his word to you.

It makes the world crumble a little more, he said no girls. And you guess that includes you. Tonight was supposed to be the night, but you got your answers. Jungkook doesn’t feel the same.

“Want to go outside?” he asks, head nodding towards the back door.

“It’s cold, Jungkook!”

“I’ll keep you warm.” He winks then transitions into a soft smile, “Promise.”

You feel your heart begin to race but you order yourself to calm down…you aren’t confessing tonight, and that’s final.

The two of you walk outside, it was pretty damn cold, your skirt and crop top barely doing enough to keep you warm.

“Here.” Jungkook is shrugging off his jacket and handing it you.

“Thanks” you shiver, slipping on the warm, fuzzy coat. “Will you be fine?” you question.

“Only if you come snuggle with me.”

“Do these lines work on most girls?”

“Usually all of them.” He smirks, rubbing his hands together for warmth.

You giggle and move closer to him, wrapping your arms around his middle. Even though it’s like 20 degrees outside, Jungkook is unbelievably warm. You have to remain normal, like your heart isn’t breaking with every word or soft touch he offers you.

Jungkook pulls his phone out to check the time, huffing when he sees there’s still a few more minutes until midnight

“So how many girls did you have to reject tonight?” You ask with a snicker. Jungkook raises a brow in question, “Like, ‘oohh Jungkook please be my new year’s kiss??’ ya know, shit like that.” You mock. It’s not like you actually want to know the answer but you can’t help but be curious.

“Oh that? No girls lining up tonight.”

“Why’s that? You shut em all down early?”

Jungkook sways back and forth, your body clinging on to his, “I think they all see me with you tonight and are laying off.”

You scoff at his words, “Right, because I have stopped them before.” You roll your eyes.

“Ha, you never know.” Jungkook takes another look at his phone, “Oh less than a minute.” He says with the shrug of his broad shoulders.

“Wanna be my kiss Jeon?” the words slip out of your mouth almost killing you in the process. You can’t believe you just asked that! You literally just decided you’re giving up so why the hell would you offer him your lips

“Just kidding, you would rather have someone else kiss me, right?” you huff, saving yourself but god, what you wouldn’t give to feel his lips on yours just one time. For him to be yours…just one time.

Jungkook chokes on his spit as he tries to swallow down your words, “W-What?”

“Nothing.”

Jungkook obviously heard you loud and clear. Did you actually want to be kissed by him, he thinks.

5

4

3

2

1

Cheers of your classmates erupt besides you and you cannot help but smile at everyone’s happiness. You see many of them sharing hugs and kisses and you feel a pang of jealousy but you are mostly feeling joy.

“It’s nice right? Every—”

You didn’t get to finish what you were saying before Jungkook’s chapped lips are on yours. His mouth is warm and inviting but you don’t make yourself at home. Instead, you stand absolutely still as Jungkook innocently moves his lips over yours. Before you can really react, Jungkook is pulling away: absolutely horrified.

“y/n…I shouldn’t have done that…I’m sorry,” Jungkook is quick to stutter out.

You are frozen. You wish you could blame something…anything, wish you could blame the flurries that floated down to the earths ground, wish you could blame the below freezing weather and your short mini skirt, wish you could blame anything for why you are standing absolutely frozen.

You wish you could move, but the universe just won’t allow it.

“Oh my god, y/n…I really am sorry…fuck…” Jungkook’s wide eyes are focused on his feet as he threads his fingers through his thick, black hair. “Fuck, I’m sorry. Please forget about th—”

And your lips are back on his again. Jungkook’s lips may be a bit chapped but they are as soft and fluffy as you have once imagined. With your lips back on his, you take charge. You quickly move them over his, he hums in satisfaction. Your fingers find themselves in his dark locks, pushing up into his soft hair as his hand moves to cup your jaw.

You gasp when you feel his teeth nibble at your bottom lip, and moan into his mouth when you feel him jerk his hips into yours.

“Let’s go to your place.” You heavily breathe out, your fingers dragging down the side of his face.

Jungkook disconnects himself from you, stepping back a good foot, inspecting your face,

“You sure?” he asks.

“I’m sure.”

Because he may not feel the same, and he may not be yours but maybe just for one night he can be.

“Wait, you were…” Jimin’s eyebrows rise to the top of his forehead, “you were going to confess to Jungkook…?”

“Yeah…I know this might be shocking to hear—”

Jimin bursts out into laughter, his hand goes over to cover his mouth as he mutters out apologies.

“Shocking?! You think this is shocking to hear?!” he continues to chuckle, “But wow…on New Year’s eve…oh my god…” Realization hits Jimin. “Oh my god…you both are so unbelievably stupid. Oh my god.”

You share a look of confusion with Trina and Holly as Jimin continues to connects dots in his head.

“Please promise me one of these days you will actually sit down with Jungkook and have an honest conversation with him…because this is just cruel and hilarious to listen to. Your timing…wow. So fucking stupid, you idiots.”

“Okay, you don’t have to be so harsh Jimin.” Holly says sweetly, her awkward smile easing everyone.

“What do you mean?” you finally ask.

“Do you still like him…even now? I mean, I know the answer honestly but go ahead.” Jimin gestures his hand for you to answer him.

“I…”

“She doesn’t need to answer that.” Trina cuts in, “No matter what, we’re on her side. Right?”

“Oh honey,” Jimin tilts his head towards Trina, “There are no sides for me. They’re both my friends and they’re both idiots.”

You can’t help but laugh at Jimin’s words. Because he knows better than anyone how true that is, so you’ll believe him.

“But really y/n…if you didn’t tell me or Trina…did you tell anyone?”

You begin chewing on your lips again,

“I don’t even talk about it with Jungkook.”

“Why?” Holly decides to pry.

“We…after we slept together…I could tell Jungkook was freaking out. He kind of tried brushing off the whole situation and I…I just had sex with the guy I had feelings for. So I put a little bit of space between us—”

“Wait, this is when you guys weren’t really hanging out for a couple months?!”

“It was only a month.” You deadpan. “But yeah…”

“I was wondering what the fuck was going on…Jungkook wouldn’t tell me anything.”

Guilt begins making a new home with you as you sit here. You wonder if you made a poor choice back then.

“Then we agreed to never talk about it to save our friendship.” You finish.

Jimin gives you a blank stare, his eyes probably going dry from lack of blinking.

“To…save your…y/n please, I am literally begging you. Talk to him. Fucking tell him the truth…” Jimin begs, he finally screws his eyes shut and shakes his head, “I can’t help you any more than that.”

~~~~~~

It’s Monday morning and you woke up with a raging headache and a snotty nose. You better not be getting sick, you think to yourself. You have a full shift ahead of you!

You slowly put on your work uniform and apply some light makeup for the day. Did you always lack color in your face or are you actually getting sick? Fuckity fuck, you think.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Jade asks from beside you, you notice she dyed her hair black instead of the light brown she was previously sporting.

“Nice hair.” You go to compliment.

“Nice try but don’t change the subject.” She pats you on the back, “Me and the guys can take care of customers, you just bake, okay?”

“Kay.”

“You know who is so beautiful even when she’s sick?” Adam butts in, “Hazel.” He answers for you both with a dopey smile.

“Now’s not the time, loser.” Jade bobs her head around, “Where’s Lenny?”

“Probably eating fucking cookies.” You say with a grin.

“Wow, guys. I’ve been here the whole time and I am not eating cookies.” Lenny says from behind Jade. “But speaking of, don’t throw away the rejects I am taking them home.”

“Quick everyone,” Jade says flatly, “act surprised.”

The sound of the bell going off catches your attention, you notice a head full of sandy hair and you groan. It’s him. You feel like all the energy is being drained from your body, now is not the time for Mister Oatmeal Raisin.

“I’ll take care of him, don’t worry!” Lenny gives you a wide smile but you raise your hand up to stop him.

“It’s okay, he’s my usual. He’s going to ask for me anyway.”

You make it the front of the store to the register and give Mister Oatmeal Raisin a weak smile.

“Are we going to be a brat today?” he greets you warmly. You scoff and try smiling again but fall a bit short.

“Hey everything okay, y/n?”

“I’m fine Mister Oatmeal Raisin.”

“You don’t look…” he lets the words die on his tongue, not wanting to actually offend you.

“The usual?” you ask, already pushing the buttons on the screen for his order.

“Yeah.” He gives you a small smile and you smile back. You aren’t use to being so nice with him, usually you two have a lot more fun, shit, you really must not be feeling well.

You must turn around too quickly because you become very dizzy, your body wobbling and shaking from the sudden chill you feel. You hurry to lean against the counter, your hand going up to feel your throbbing forehead.

“Hey you good?” Mister Oatmeal Raisin peeks over.

“Fine, I—” you try to take a few steps but wobble too much that you almost fall. The world turning dark as your vision goes blurry but before you can hit the ground you feel yourself fall into two arms.

“Woah woah, y/n? y/n?” you hear your name from a distance, but the world is so dark and so cold that you can hardly focus on it.

“I got you.” You hear the same voice again.

You slowly open your eyes to see your most faithful customers face mere inches from your own as he holds your body up.

“You okay?”

You steady yourself and slowly get out of his hold and nod your head.

“Yeah, thanks Mister Oatmeal Raisin.” You weakly smile, saluting towards him.

“Min Yoongi.”

You can’t help but blush at your situation,

“Yoo…Yoongi.” You repeat back, your face returning some of its color. Mostly just shades of red.

“Yeah.” He smiles a real smile, you notice how cute and gummy it is and it makes you feel nice. Min Yoongi, huh?

~~~~~

It’s a lazy Tuesday afternoon, the sun creating a blanket of warmth outside while being accompanied by a fresh breeze. You want to enjoy the day…you really do but…

“Just let me die a miserable death.” You sniffle into your sleeve. It’s the 2nd day of the flu and you are well, like you said, miserable.

“You need to take the rest of your meds babe,” Jimin’s hand is full of various pills, he tries handing them to you but you deny him.

“No, I’m gonna overdose.”

“You’re not gonna fucking overdose you dramatic ass bitch.” Jimin rolls his eyes, setting the medicine down on your nightstand next to a full glass of water.

“Listen, I have to go to work but maybe call Trina to come take care of you? I know Holly is at school for the day—”

“Trina is home visiting her parents…” you sound disgusting as you speak, your voice all gross and nasaly.

“Oh. Maybe you could call—”

“No. Anyone but him,” you cut in, waving your hands in front of your face.

Anyone but Jungkook, you don’t need him to take care of you…you guys are hardly starting to become friends again and its only in group settings. So him taking care of you one on one sounds…intimate.

“No offense babe, but you literally don’t have any other friends.”

“I can take care of my—” you’re cut off by a string of sneezes, one after the fucking other. “Fuck, I am dying.” You shiver.

Jimin places his hand over your forehead, getting a feel for your temperature.

“Shit…I’m going to call him.”

“Noooo Jimin….” You lay back on your bed, your head beginning it’s pounding again. “Don’t need him…” you lazily grab the NyQuil bottle from your nightstand, “Only need this.” You smile while taking a few gulps.

“Jesus, what is wrong with you?”

Jimin takes out his phone and taps away on his screen, you assume he is sending a million texts to Jungkook begging him to come babysit you, that or he is texting Trina what a stubborn, whiny bitch you are to which she probably just replies with “True.”

“Wanna watch Howl’s Moving Castle.” You slur in your drowsy state, all the meds and NyQuil kicking in.

“Jungkook will be here in 30. Have him put it on for you when he gets here…I really gotta go…”

“Jungkook?” you try to open your eyes as you speak but they threaten to close every few seconds.

“Yeah. He will take care of you y/n.”

You wrap yourself further into your duvet, but the shivers don’t let up. You’re shaking from how freaking cold you are. Yet you are sweating like the disgusting human being you are.

Jimin eyes you over once more, his eyes full of pity as he closes your bedroom door and whispers a ‘see you later’ under his breath.

“y/n?” You hear his voice in the distance, like he’s a mile from you at least. His voice is fuzzy and far away. And you want it closer.

“y/n???” your body is being shaken awake, gently though. Like, he doesn’t want to hurt you.

“Hey…you need to take your medicine…” you begin to slowly open your eyes, the world is blurry and the sound of his angelic voice echoes. Jungkook.

“No…” you manage to breathe out.

“y/n you know I will force these pills down your throat.”

“mmmmm, leave me alone.” You lazily turn your body over to face the window. Your body shivering as you nuzzle further into the duvet.

“Not happening,” He walks to the other side of the bed and sits on the edge, just staring down at you. “Please take your meds, for me?”

“Mm mm”” you shake your head, your hair sticking to your forehead as more sweat builds up.

Jungkook looks at you with a soft smile, his hand reaching out to feel your forehead. His eyes widen as he feels how much you are burning up.

“Fuck…you’re hot.”

You crack open your eyes to look at Jungkook, “Thanks, you’re hot too.” You wink. Like a fucking sleaze. Your drowsy state feeling intoxicating as you lay here in your bed.

Jungkook chuckles to himself before turning serious again, “If you take some fever reducer I will do whatever you want today.”

You let his words marinate as you lay here, lifeless. “Anything?” you say, peering up at him.

His soft smile grows as his fingers find their way in your messy, sweaty hair.

“Anything.”

“Go buy me chicken noodle soup.” You whisper. “The kind you use to always buy me.”

Jungkook’s brows climb up his forehead as he looks at you amused.

“You think I came empty handed? Like, I didn’t already bring it?” he smirks, standing to his feet. “I’ll go warm it up, and you promise you will take your meds?”

“Pinky promise.” You weakly lift up your hand to bring your pinky to his and he gladly accepts it.

Of course Jungkook brought the soup. He’s Jungkook and you’re y/n. He is always taking care of you and you want to melt. Well, with how high this fever is you actually might.

“Hey Jungkook?” you struggle to turn over to face the bedroom door, “Thanks for coming.” Your dopey smile doing things to his heart. He looks at you with a soft, almost sad smile before he’s making his way to the kitchen.

Jungkook doesn’t want to admit how fast he rushed here to your place, but it was fucking fast. All Jimin sent was a simple “y/n’s sick.” text and he was already calling the deli where he got the soup from, placing a quick order for 2 and gathering his stuff to make his way over.

He is used to being in charge of you when you’re sick because you are stubborn as hell and he actually has the patience. But he has barely talked to you since the night of the get together, aka the night he became weak and almost kissed you—and if it weren’t for Jimin, he is sure he would have.

Jungkook stands at the stove as he heats up a portion of the chicken soup, he stares off into space as the surface begins to bubble. He exhales deeply, taking the pot off the stove and pouring the contents into a bowl for you. The soup is hot, but you probably need the heat to help ease the congestion.

Jungkook walks back into your room, the bowl in his hands with a towel wrapped around it. You wish you could smell the soup but you’re so blocked up that you don’t even notice it.

“Here, try to sit up.” He sets the bowl down on your nightstand. He goes to help you sit up from your spot in bed, his strong arms pulling you up and you gasp when you’re finally upright. Fuck. You become so lightheaded and dizzy that you hold on to his forearm for support and he lets you. He gives you a moment to adjust to your new position before he’s reaching for the soup.

“It’s hot, so be careful.” He warns softly.

He waits for you to grab the bowl but you just continue to stare at him with tired eyes.

“Wow, do I have to do everything?” he jokes, “Even feed you?”

You nod your head slowly in approval, “Yes, feed me.”

“Such a brat. You’re definitely taking all your meds after this, okay?”

“Sure.”

Jungkook sets the bowl on the edge of the bed, holding it with one hand carefully and his other hand scoops up the broth with a spoon. He brings the spoon to your mouth and nudges it between your lips.

“Open.” He demands.

Your half lidded eyes stare up at his large ones, your chest slightly heaving from trying to breathe. You never break contact as you part your lips for him, letting him pour the spoons contents down your throat.

“Good girl.” He whispers, setting the spoon back down in the bowl. “Taste good?”

You swallow the liquid and open your mouth to speak ,”Can’t taste anything…” you murmur.

Jungkook smiles down at you, “That’s a shame because,” he takes a mouthful of soup in his mouth, “It’s fucking delicious.”

“Hey! You’ll get sick!”

“I never get sick from you, remember?”

You lay your head back on your headboard, closing your eyes as the NyQuil begins to make its second attempt with you.

“So sleepy but so cold.”

“You need to eat more baby.” Jungkook gathers vegetables and a piece of chicken this time in the spoon, he brings the spoon to your lips and you open wide for him, eating what he feeds you gratefully.

This goes on for several minutes until you can’t stomach anymore food, you slide back down into your sheets, feeling miserable all over again.

“Hey, time for yours meds.” Jungkook says sternly, he shakes the pill bottle to remind you of your deal.

“Fine,” you reply weakly, you try to sit back up enough to swallow down some pills and water.

Once you gulp it down, Jungkook stares at you with a satisfied smile.

“Cold?” he asks.

“Freezing.”

You feel the bed dip beside you and before you can react you feel two strong, warm arms engulf you in a hug.

“Jungkook, what are you doing?” you slur into his chest, sleep trying its hardest to take you away.

“Just rest, y/n.” he hugs you tighter. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

Jungkook feels his heart crack when you doubt his promises now, he feels himself sink into depression as he recalls what he did to you.

The past 3 months have been crazy and weird without you. He’s missed you every day. The first few weeks he spent it in isolation. He felt like he was lost and lonely and like he didn’t deserve anyone’s love or affection. Then he decided in order for him to move on he needs to put some serious distance between the two of you…hence, why he moved out.

He knows it was sudden and fucked up but he had to…Or else he would be stuck in his lonely unrequited love forever.

Your last night with him before he disappeared he even got his hopes up…that maybe you could feel the same, but he had to be realistic. You were in such a weird state, you just needed comfort. And he hates that he was second choice.

He thought on this for a couple months, his mind overflowing with thoughts and cruel ideas. He was beginning to spiral until he met…Vanessa.

Vanessa was just looking to get laid, just like him. They met through tinder, hooking up after matching the first night. But the sex was so good they both agreed to do it again.

One night, they got so shit faced they both ended up venting about the one who makes life better yet harder. For her, it was her ex of 4 years and for him, it was you.

They confided in one another, feeling free telling someone their deepest romantic desires and they just clicked. Forming a solid friendship while also fucking.

Jungkook is grateful for Vanessa because for the first time in 3 years he connected with someone who isn’t you. Vanessa is a smart, sexy girl. And Jungkook isn’t blind to see that, so they made a deal. They would use each other to get over the ones they really love. And he thinks it could of almost worked until he saw you at that party. You were wearing the same black mini skirt that he fucked you in for the first (and only) time. You looked better than he’s ever seen you.

Somehow this made Jungkook feel even more depressed. So you are better off without him, he thinks.

Jungkook is lost in his thoughts when he feels you stir…you briefly open your eyes and tilt your head to look up at him, you blink lazily with a dopey smile.

“love you.” You yawn out, closing your eyes once again, drifting back off into dream world.

Jungkook’s heart stops. Your words ringing in his ears as he tries to stay calm.

He knows you mean it platonically but he still can’t help what it does to his weak heart. He is crazy for you, even with everything that’s happened he still loves you. You and you only. It’s always you.

Jungkook plays with your hair and chuckles lightly as he hears you struggling to breathe properly due to your nose being plugged up. How can he continue to see Vanessa when he has you? Jungkook’s smile drops all together when he realizes that would put him back at square 1.

It’s almost midnight when you wake, your body feels stiff from how much shivering you endured. You try to get up when you realize Jungkook’s body is wrapped strongly around your own, his light snores filling up the room.

You look at him carefully, his hair falling into his eyes as he moans lightly every time he moves around slightly. He’s so cute, you think. You’ve always thought Jungkook was cute but right now there’s something so endearing about him it makes you want to peck his lips softly.

Wait, what? You want to what? That’s not allowed!

The next morning comes quickly, you lay awake in Jungkook’s arms wondering if it’s okay to stay like this all day. You admittingly feel much better compared to yesterday, breathing is much easier and your head isn’t throbbing. You feel a fondness swell in your chest as you stare at Jungkook’s soft, sleeping face and it makes you feel weird all of the sudden.

You’ve always felt this way about Jungkook, right? Wait, what way? What are you saying? Or at least, trying to say? You know though, you know what you are trying to say…it’s the same thing you’ve been trying to say since freshmen year. But saying it out loud is just different.

Confusion on how to feel clouds your mind as you stare at him, his breaths are light and airy and you feel so warm and safe in his embrace. He slightly shifts, his hips bumping into yours, lightly grinding into you. Your eyes widen as you feel his hard member bumping into your thigh and it’s not like you haven’t felt it before while the two of you slept but still, it surprises you each time.

Feeling his length twitching on your thigh is creating trouble for you, you hate that such a small act is getting you all hot. You try to scoot away but he only pulls you closer on instinct. He brings you so close that his warm breath fans over your right cheek and you want to force yourself to sleep more so you aren’t hyper aware of his dick.

“Jungkook…” you mumble, trying to free yourself from his grasp but you fail miserably.

His arms are circled around your hips and he digs his fingers into your exposed flesh from how your shirt is riding up.

“Baby…” he groans out, his hips grinding into your thigh again. His eyes are screwed shut, like he is still stuck in his dreams.

You lay here frozen, he’s called you baby a million times but this is different. He’s only ever called you baby in that tone when you two…you slam your eyes shut, trying to rid yourself of the memories.

“Jungkook, time to wake up.” You wiggle in his arms but your thigh only rubs on his dick more. He releases quiet whimpers against your ear, his lips parting in pleasure.

“Mmm…” he pants out, his hips thrusts against your thigh again.

Jungkook…dreaming?

Was it bad luck to interrupt someone’s dream? Or is this just an excuse to have him rutting against you?

“Jungkook…” your voice comes out shaky as you turn your body to face him, he groans in his sleep once more.

You’re afraid he’s going to say it. Her name. Vanessa. That’s the last thing you would want to hear…it would probably ruin your whole day so you need to wake him up.

“Jungkook….” You sound more breathy than intended. You need him to wake up so you can stop thinking about his length rubbing up on you. You flush as you feel your panties start to dampen, this cannot be happening. Why did Jungkook have to have this sort of reaction out of you?

“Mmm…” Jungkook whines quietly as he ruts himself harder onto you. His cock up against your lower belly, you start to imagine him without his black sweats on, you start to imagine him without his shirt. You hesitate to reach your hand against his hard chest, you breathe out heavily as you begin to drag your fingers down until you reach just the top of his waistband. Your eyes follow your fingers until you spot his hard erection through his sweats and you breathe erratically.

“What are you doing?” Jungkook’s husky voice interrupts your horny daze. Your eyes expand in size as you realize your position. Your eyes trail up his chest until you meet his gaze, his pupils blown out.

“Where do your hands think they’re going?”

“No—nowhere.” You stare up at him, gulping. You can’t do this with him, you are finally getting your friendship back but what is with all this tension?

Jungkook releases his hold on you, moving to his back. His arms fold underneath his head as he stares up at the ceiling.

“What were you—were you dreaming about?” your hand innocently finds its way back on his chest, resting over his beating heart.

“Uh…” Jungkook turns 3 shades of red, “I don’t remember.” His blush deepens.

“I feel like you’re lying.”

“Why would I ever lie to you?” Jungkook chuckles.

Your eyes trail down his body and you see his length still struggling with a probably painful erection.

“You have a problem?” you gesture towards his crotch.

Jungkook exhales a heavy breath, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. “Jesus Christ, y/n.”

“what?” you feign innocence.

“Do you really have to point out everything?”

“Only things that are super obvious.”

“Fuck.”

“You can go take care of it in the bathroom?” you kindly offer, causing him to scoff.

“I’m good.”

“I guess Vanessa usually takes care of these things, huh?”

“Seriously?”

Jungkook groans out, frustration written all over his face. He hates the mention of Vanessa especially when he was just dreaming about you. He feels wrong. They aren’t officially in a relationship but somehow it feels like cheating.

“Can we not talk about her?” Jungkook doesn’t want to be reminded of the shitty situations he’s in.

“What do you want to talk about?”

“Are you feeling better?” he asks softly, he moves his body to lay on his side to face you.

“Much.” You smile, “Thanks again.”

“Ready for some more chicken soup?”

A few hours pass, you figured Jungkook would have left by now but he sits on your couch next to you while the two of you watch some new anime. He laughs every now and then at the ridiculous characters and you feel warm inside. It almost feels like how things were before, when he still lived with you.

“Yeah, it does.” He says, still facing the screen.

“Huh?”

“You said it feels like we still live together.” He points out.

Shit, you said that out loud.

Jungkook bows his head, “I am…sorry that I moved out.”

“Move back in.”

“You know I can’t do that…plus, you have Holly now.” Jungkook sits back against the sofa, “Can’t just kick her out.” He snickers.

“Just move in my room with me.” You say half joking. But also, you know, half serious.

“Ha ha y/n.”

“What? You don’t like sleeping with me?” you tease. “Speaking of…you can stay as long as you want…”

“I…I have plans tonight, actually.” Jungkook stiffens in his spot. He pulls his phone out from his pocket, “actually, I should get going soon.” He regrets saying.

“Oh, okay.”

~~~~~

It’s almost 7pm and Jungkook looks himself over in the mirror. He’s got tight, ripped jeans and a dark blue shirt tucked in, his hair is wavy against his forehead. He knows he looks good but he can’t find himself to be happy about it.

He has a date with Vanessa tonight…

Vanessa 7:04pm

Hey babe, I’m ready when you are<3

Jungkook 7:05pm

Okay, I am on my way :)

The ride over to Vanessa’s place takes about 20 minutes, he uses this time to listen to the radio and think. He asked Vanessa earlier this week on a date for both of their days off.

When he arrives to her apartment, he sends her a text that he’s here.

Vanessa walks out wearing a cute, yellow sundress. Her hair freshly trimmed and sporting bangs.

“Hi handsome.” She says as she steps inside Jungkook’s car. She leans over to place a kiss on Jungkook’s lips and as she begins to pull away he pulls her back in, his lips chasing hers for a more heated kiss.

“Hi.” He finally says, out of breath.

“What was that for?” she smirks, her skinny fingers digging into her purse to pull out her phone.

“Let me guess,” she begins scrolling through it mindlessly, “You’re desperate to get y/n out of your head?” She stops scrolling to glance his way, “Need me?”

“It’s not like that…” Jungkook groans.

“Oh? Isn’t it though?” her coy smile spreads across her face. “But you need me to forget, right?” she tilts her head to the side, “That’s what we’re here for, Jungkook. We use each other.”

Jungkook drags a hand down his face, “But we are trying aren’t we? To make this work?” he sounds and looks tired, that Vanessa almost feels bad.

“We can make it work later, right now you need me.” She crawls on to Jungkook’s lap, she hikes up her dress around her waist and swivels her hips over his crotch, “Don’t you?”

“Vanessa…” he chokes out. Men are so weak, she thinks.

Her hands go to unbutton his jeans and pull out his half hard cock, she gently strokes it over and over until he is fully hard in her hand.

“Fuck,” he exhales deeply, the feeling of her tiny cold hand doing incredible things to his dick.

Vanessa slides her panties to the side and rubs his dick against her wet folds, covering his dick with her juices until she lines it up with her entrance. She releases a smooth breath as she begins to sink down on his hard cock, Jungkook gasps out of the warm feeling her tight cunt provides.

“You need me, don’t you?” her voice is smooth as silk. “But you won’t ever love me.” Vanessa rises from his cock and slams back down, repeating the motion over and over until Jungkook is panting out sweet words that mean nothing.

“You wish it was her, don’t you?” her sinister smile growing on her face, “Wish this perfect pussy was y/n’s.”

At the mention of you, Jungkook loses all composure while his dick throbs, begging for release.

“Fuck...” he whines out, his eyes screwing shut in pleasure, “y/n.”

“That’s right….” Vanessa’s wicked grin takes up her whole face now, “Fuck me like I am her.”

Jungkook shamelessly moans out your name over and over, his hips meeting hers in desperate thrusts. His eyes remain closed as he fucks into Vanessa’s cunt, only wishing and imagining it was you.

“Fuuuuck” he groans out, his fingers finding Vanessa’s clit and he rubs tight, focused circles.

Vanessa whines out, loving the feeling of his cock, his fingers and the mention of your name. it was all fucked up and nothing turned her on more.

She quickly comes undone as Jungkook continues to thrust from below, his precision becoming sloppy.

“y/n…” he grunts out with one final thrust as he comes inside Vanessa.

He keeps his eyes shut as he comes down from his high, the feeling insane.

Vanessa smirks down at him, slipping his softening cock out of her. She crawls back over to the passenger side of the car and buckles her seatbelt.

“Ready for our date.” She smiles, she digs through her purse to fetch her phone and it tapping away on it.

“Fuck…” Jungkook finally opens his eyes, realizing what the fuck he’s just done. “Vanessa…”

“It’s okay.” She says nonchalantly. “I was into it.”

“How?”

“Because I think of him every time you’ve made me come.” She peeks over her phone, her eyes shining. “So we’re even.”

~~~~~

“She lives!” You hear Adam sing as you walk into the bakery.

You look and feel much better! Totally revived from the fucking dead. You smile at your coworker and do a twirl and a curtsey just for show.

“I live!” you copy while smiling as you continue to do a few more curtseys.

Jade and Lenny walk out from the back and applaud you, you laugh at their action.

“Your oatmeal raisin guy has been in every day since you’ve been out to see if you’re okay.” Lenny brings up with a knowing smile, “Or should I call him your hero? Your savior?” he grins, stuffing his face with a sugar cookie.

“Oh shush, let’s just call him…” you begin to blush, “Yoongi.”

“Yoongi, huh?” Jade playfully elbows Adam’s side, “We’re calling him ‘Yoongi’ now!” she and Adam laugh, their teasing going straight to your head.

Yoongi is your usual customer—yes. But he’s also your…what did Lenny say? Your hero? Your savior? You cringe just thinking about it! But you cannot help but grin.

The work day goes on, you have your usual easy customers, your usual stubborn customers but no sign of Yoongi yet. He usually comes on what you are assuming is his lunch break, he must work nearby but it’s already almost closing time and he hasn’t made an appearance…not that you were looking forward to it or anything…it’s just you want to say thank you, you know, for catching you when you almost fucking fainted. A simple thank you!

You’re chillin in the back, swiping through your phone when the bell goes off at the front. Jade is the first to head towards the counter when after a moment or two she’s calling out your name. He must be here, you think. You smooth out your apron and look at your reflection from your phone screen—wait, why does it even matter? You begin walking towards the front to see Yoongi standing there with a worried expression on his face but once he sees you he smiles softly.

“You’re here.” He says.

You raise a hand, “Yup, I’m here.” You laugh, “Listen, I wanted to—”

“Are you feeling better?” he looks between you and Jade and she nods her head and walks back to the back.

“Much.”

Yoongi sighs in relief, then smirks at you.

“Then I’ll have my usual.”

You stare at him before your smile is growing on your face, you can’t believe the nerve of this guy. You like it though, you have to admit.

“Sure…Yoongi.”

Yoongi looks pleasantly surprised as he nods his head in satisfaction. You walk to the back and get him his two cookies, you bring them to him as he takes the bag from you, you put it in his order on the screen.

“Also…” you say, looking up from the screen “I really want to say thanks.”

“For?” Yoongi stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jacket.

“For helping me that day…I wanted to like, uh…”

“Wanted to like, uh…what?”

“I was wondering if I could treat you to like an ice cream or something…” you sway side to side, feeling a bit awkward.

“Are you asking me out?” Yoongi blurts out and you feel flustered as fuck, all the heat rushing to your cheeks.

“W-What? N-No—”

“Because if you are,” Yoongi takes one hand out of his pocket with his phone in his grasp, “Then I would say yes.” He slides his phone over the counter. “Number.”

You must be red as a cherry, or a tomato, or like a fire truck or whatever the fuck else is super red. You look at him and gasp, your hand coming to your mouth and you can’t help but lightly chuckle.

“Fine, I’ll give you my number…but this is just a thank you outing.” You wink, taking the phone and putting your number in.

“Sure, whatever you want to tell yourself darling.” Yoongi takes his phone from you and puts it back into his jacket pocket.

“I’m free this weekend.” He sways back and forth on his heels and he laughs a bit before saying ‘Ah’ and taking out $4 and hands it to you.

“For the cookies.”

“You’re not going to inspect them?” you put the money in the register.

“I’m deciding to trust you today.”

You smile again, a real smile. Yoongi smiles back and he’s about to say something when the chime of the bell goes off and a woman and her kids make their way inside the store.

“I’ll text you.” He says before he’s turning around and heading out the door.

~~~~~

“A DATE?!” Trina and Holly yell in unison. You just told them about ice cream with Yoongi and their excitement is very evident.

“It’s not a date guys. God, how many times do I have to tell you?” you whine into the cookie you’re eating.

“It’s a thank you outing!”

“Thank you outing my ass.” Jimin frowns, “Why are you going on a date? What about Jungkook?”

You scoff, “What about him? We’re just friends, Jimin.” You defend.

“If you just come clean about every—”

“No. What good would that do?” you bite on your bottom lip, “So I can feel the lovely pain of getting rejected? He literally has a girlfriend.”

“Yeah, don’t even get me started on that shit.” Jimin complains, he takes one of the cookies from the box on the middle of the table and starts nibbling on the treat.

“But who even is this Min Yoongi guy? Is he cute?”

“Super…” you admit through a soft breath.

What? He is. He may have started out as your annoying customer but you kind of always thought he was cute.

“It’s just ice cream, you know?”

“Is it just ice cream though?” Holly intervenes, stuffing her own face with a cookie, totally ignoring the new fad diet she’s on.

“Yeah, this sounds like a good opportunity y/n.” Trina grins.

“A good opportunity?”

Jimin looks at Trina incredulously, “A good opportunity? Really Trina? Just say you hate Jungkook and move on.”

“Okay, I hate Jungkook.” She states without a problem and you frown…you don’t want her to hate him. Yeah, he hurt you but he’s…he’s not a bad guy.

“Stop guys…” you finally say, putting your half eaten cookie down. You…this isn’t a date! This isn’t a date! This isn’t a date! But…would if it is?

“Aren’t you ready to move on y/n?” Trina looks at you seriously, her hard expression almost scaring you.

“I—”

“She doesn’t have to answer that,” Jimin cuts in, “Because whatever she decides we’re on her side…right, Trina?” Jimin gives Trina a cold stare, a bite in his voice.

“Okay guys, yes let’s all just support y/n…” Holly tries saving the tension in the room.

You…tried this before already. You tried using someone to distract yourself from Jungkook, you don’t plan on using innocent Yoongi to do that again.

“It’s just a thank you outing…” you mumble, the words hard to understand by your friends. “Just saying thank you…” you bow your head, feeling sad all of the sudden.

This won’t be a repeat, will it? Taehyung number 2? You don’t think Yoongi has any ulterior motives, no not that. But do you?

“Yeah. It’s not a date.”

Jimin clasps his hands together, “Then it’s settled! Let’s change the subject.” He looks between you and Trina and Holly.

“Agreed.” Trina and Holly say at the same time, you only nod your head.

~~~~

It’s a nice Saturday evening, the breeze blows through you just right making you feel so alive. The sun is setting, giving the sky a gorgeous orange glow and you fall in love with the sight.

“How many more pictures are you going to take of the sky?” Yoongi chuckles, he walks close beside you making sure you don’t run into to like, any poles as you distractedly take photos of the beautiful sky.

“One more, one more!” you snap one last photo on your phone and slide it in your back pocket, “I have a collection of sky pictures!” you say with pride.

“I believe you.” He takes out his own phone and captures a picture of the sky too. “So we can look at the same sky.” He mumbles somewhat timidly.

You tilt your head and smile at him. You two met outside the bakery this evening so you could walk to the ice cream shop just a block away, he walks on the side next to the street while you occupy the spot walking next to all the shops.

“You know I work right around here but never been to this ice cream place you mention before.”

“Really? Where do you work?”

“The record store.”

“Ah, really? I’ve never been in.” you slow down to admire the plants outside the floral shop.

“You should come by, I think the owner would be cool with it.” He smirks.

You observe his sly smile and you wonder…

“If you say some shit like ‘It’s because I’m the owner’….” You begin, you see his sly smile grow even wider. “Oh my god, you are!”

Yoongi laughs out loud, nodding his head.

“It’s a pretty small store, but all mine.” He smiles fondly thinking over his store. “I’m serious, come check it out sometime. I mean, you like music right?”

“Am I a human being? Of course I like music!”

You both laugh while approaching the shop. Once inside, you notice how busy it is and you become afraid you two won’t find a spot to sit.

“Here, tell me what you want and I’ll go order while you find us a spot to sit, hm?” Yoongi offers, as if reading your mind.

“Oh. Okay, yeah. Sounds good.”

After circling the place for several minutes you notice a couple that was sitting at a table by the window leave so you rush to occupy the spot. You grab a napkin and wipe down the table before sitting down, you pull out your phone and scroll through social media while waiting for Yoongi to come with your ice creams.

After waiting for quite some time, Yoongi finally shows up with two ice cream cones of different flavors.

“Here.” He gives you a small smile while handing you your cone as he takes a seat across from you.

“Long line.” He gestures towards the line and smiles again.

You really like his smile, he looks genuinely happy when he does.

“You know, you kind of intimidated me at first…” you admit softly, your own smiling joining the club.

“But you seem quite soft.” You laugh, licking your ice cream.

“I get that a lot…” Yoongi groans, he looks down at the table before looking back up at you,

“I’m just kind of shy at first.”

“Shy my ass!” you lick more of your treat, “You weren’t shy complaining about the cookies I choose for you!”

Yoongi blushes at this, his laughter timid.

“The cookies you choose are fine.” He finally says, “Just had a lot of fun messing with you.” He looks up and smirks. “So,” Yoongi begins licking his ice cream again, “What do you do? Or is the bakery it?”

You internally groan. You hate this question. You have a marketing degree yet you work selling cookies.

“Uh, for now, yeah.”

“Why just for now?”

“I have a degree in marketing but…”

“Oh? Your passion lies in marketing then?” he continues to kitten lick his ice cream.

You don’t mean to scoff, but you do. You fucking do.

“Ha, passion.” You chuckle bitterly, “I hate that word.”

Yoongi raises his brows in curiosity, “Why’s that?”

“I don’t think I…” you struggle to find your words, the topic making you antsy.

“You don’t think you have a passion? Is that it?” Yoongi hits bulls fucking eye. You sigh out, finishing up your ice cream and take a bite of your cone.

“I know, that seems impossible right? Everyone has—”

“It’s okay.” He states plainly, finishing up his own ice cream. “Having a passion…a dream…you don’t have to have something like that to live a good life. Even just surviving the day is the dream.” He looks into your eyes and he shows that gummy smile you are learning to enjoy so much.

His words…you don’t really realize the impact they are leaving on you, his beautiful and wise words are exactly what you need to hear.

Yoongi continues,

“I thought I had big dreams but in the end my dream was small, it was simple. I just want to live happily. Maybe it’s the same for you, I don’t know though. I’m only now getting to know you.” His shy tone makes you feel weak.

“No, no. I think you’re right.” You admit between soft breaths. “I only pursued marketing because I knew I could find a job in the field not because I like it…I am failing miserably in interviews. All my friends are going on doing what they love and I’m just…here.”

Yoongi looks amused for a second before his soft smile returns,

“Isn’t being here enough?” he asks.

Is it? You think to yourself, is it really?

“Are you happy y/n?”

Woah, that’s a loaded question. You chew on your lips instinctively, deciding how you should answer this—if you should answer this.

“Life is a bit complicated right now.” You laugh awkwardly.

Yoongi laughs too, he nods his head in understanding.

“Even with complications, you can still find moments where you’re happy, right?”

You feel yourself becoming drawn to Yoongi’s wise and understanding nature, his words creating a warmth in you. You feel like you’re actually making a friend.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“You just gotta find the small things in life to be grateful for and eventually each small moment will add up and create big moments of happiness for you.” Yoongi smiles then stands to his feet and heads towards the trashcan to throw your trash away. While he’s gone for the few seconds he’s away, you sit back in your chair and think.

What’s complicated in your life right now? Well, you can’t find a fucking job to save your life, you’re afraid you wasted four years of college on the wrong degree—but what’s the right degree? You and Jungkook are the definition of the word ‘complicated’ and you’re afraid you’ll be stuck in unrequited love forever. But you have good friends, you like your coworkers and your job for the most part, you live in a good apartment, your parents call you regularly, you found a lady bug on a flower this morning, the list goes on!

Yoongi sits back down and folds his hands in front of him, he looks up at you with expectant eyes.

“Well?”

“Well, what?”

“Tell me more about you.”

You’re about to say something when realization hits you,

“How much were the ice creams?! They’re my treat, remember?” you quickly unzip your purse and pull out your wallet, fully ready to hand him some cash when he’s shaking his hands in front of him, denying you.

“No no, it’s okay, really.” Yoongi ushers you to put your wallet away, his smile brightens and you find yourself slumping in your chair in defeat.

“Fine.” You huff out dramatically.

“You can pay next time.” He looks down at his hands as he smiles to himself.

“Oh? There’s a next time?”

“Yeah, hanging out with you is fun y/n. I don’t want to just see you when I buy cookies...coming to see you is getting expensive.” He laughs into his shoulder.

“I just think you really have a cookie addiction.”

“Something like that.” He looks into your eyes for a moment before tearing them away to look back down at his hands. “Do you have any siblings?”

“Nope. But I have a lot of cousins, so it almost feels like I didn’t grow up lonely.”

“Your parents didn’t want to have any more kids?” Yoongi pries further.

“Actually, they weren’t supposed to have kids at all. I was there miracle baby, as they call it.” You laugh into your hands, “It feels ridiculous saying that out loud myself.” You laugh some more.

“Miracle baby, huh?” Yoongi teases. “Are your parents still together?”

“Hm? Oh yeah, they are.”

You parents are in a great, functioning relationship so why is it so hard for you to get into one?! “Are yours?”

“Nah, divorced.” Yoongi says with no bitter tone in his voice.

“Oh. I’m so—”

“Nah, it was for the best. Nothing dramatic happened they just weren’t meant to be.” He smiles at you and you nod your head.

You’re about to speak up again when you feel someone’s hand grip your shoulder and your name being called out. You know this voice. No, it can’t be. Jungkook.

“y/n?” He looks at you with confused eyes as he looks between you and Yoongi.

Jungkook is standing here next to your fucking table with his fucking girlfriend who is not his girlfriend, fucking Vanessa. She looks at you with a bored expression and tilts her head to the side.

“Hey.” He smiles at you but then looks at Yoongi again, “Uh, hey man. I’m Jungkook.”

Yoongi watches as you sit here with your mouth wide open, but he’s quick to shake his head and look up at Jungkook and introduce himself.

“Yoongi.”

Vanessa doesn’t waste her time in greeting anyone, she just taps her skinny little fingers on the table and whines into Jungkook’s ear about hurrying up.

“You guys wanna sit with us? There’s like no other tables.” You cannot believe your own ears as you offer that to them. Vanessa visibly frowns and rolls her to the side as Jungkook reacts just the opposite.

“Really?” his bunny grin taking over his whole face. You nod your head and gesture for him to go order his ice cream. He takes Vanessa’s hand and they head towards the line.

“Sorry for inviting them…I didn’t think.” You admit softly to Yoongi but he doesn’t seem mad. Not at all.

“A close friend of yours, I’m assuming?”

“Very.” You place some loose strands of hair behind your ear, you awkwardly laugh and begin pulling at the ends of your hairs. A nervous tick of yours, for sure.

“I see.” Yoongi smiles that fucking smile, like everything is okay. But is it? You don’t want to be in the same fucking room as Vanessa. But you’re giving her a chance for Jungkook’s sake.

“We aren’t really going to sit with them are we?” Vanessa’s smooth voice fills Jungkook’s ears as they wait in line.

“Why not? Plus she’s right, there’s like, no other tables.” Jungkook tries to reason.

“Why not? You cannot be ser—” she tilts her head, blinking at him, “Oh? You are? Also, you’re not worried about who this guy is? My Jungkookie isn’t feeling jealous is he?”

“Vanessa stop. It’s probably a friend from work or something.” He says nonchalantly.

“Maybe it’s a date.” Her silky voice annoying him.

“If it was a date why would she invite us?” he tries to reason again.

Vanessa tilts her head again and puts a finger to her lip, “Maybe she wants a foursome?”

“Stop.” Jungkook warns.

“I’m just trying to help you.”

You move to the other side of the table and sit next to Yoongi, you two bumping shoulders and you feel like a third grader with how giddy the action is making you.

“We’re here!” Jungkook announces excitedly. He lets Vanessa sit first and then he’s pulling out his own chair to sit in, right across from you.

“So Yoongi, how do you know our y/n?” Jungkook grins with all his teeth.

“I—”

“He’s a customer at work—”

“Yeah, I like to go to her bakery.”

Jungkook raises a brow, “Yeah the treats are good I guess.”

“Well, I don’t just go for the cookies.” Yoongi says, looking in your direction.

“Oh?” Jungkook sets his cup of ice cream down, “Oh.” He says again once realization hits him.

Vanessa glances up from her phone and smiles a smile that is void of all emotion at you and Yoongi, she sets the phone down and claps her hands softly a few times.

“So this is a date.”

“No—”

“Yes.”

You snap your head towards Yoongi with a shocked eyes. Did he just say this is a date? Then he’s smiling at you with apologetic eyes.

“I mean, I would like it to be.”

Your head immediately faces forward to see Jungkook’s reaction. He looks as shocked and confused as you, you begin shaking your head.

“Uh…um…” you say, your eyes still on Jungkook. He looks between you and Yoongi then he frowns. Fucking frowns!

“We can discuss that later.” You finally say, laughing awkwardly. Jungkook turns towards Vanessa and glares at her, fucking glares.

“What?” She mouths innocently, going back to her phone.

“Anyway,” you try to break the awkward tension, “I think me and Yoongi are going to head out actually.”

“We just sat down?” Jungkook looks at you with his big, stupid doe eyes and you almost want to stay but you know what’s for the best.

“I’ll walk you back to the store?” Yoongi asks from beside you.

You nod your head in agreeance, standing to your feet while Yoongi follows. Jungkook stands up too, not ready for you to leave.

“I’ll see you later?” Jungkook asks with pleading eyes.

You hesitate for a moment but end up nodding your head in approval.

“Uh, bye Vanessa.” You force out, your voice a little loud as you bid your farewells to her.

Vanessa continues tapping on her phone but uses one hand to wave you off.

This fucking bitch. What does Jungkook see in her? You just don’t see the appeal? Yeah, she’s gorgeous. But is that all I takes for Jungkook?

“Yeah, okay.” You roll your eyes and Jungkook looks at you sympathetically. He will scold Vanessa later.

You and Yoongi take it slow walking back to the bakery. You two walking idly, and stopping by other shops just for the fun of it.

“About what I said earlier…I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” Yoongi is messing with a scarf on the mannequin inside this little boutique.

“You didn’t. I was just…surprised is all.”

“Is Jungkook like, your ex-boyfriend or something?” Yoongi doesn’t waste any time apparently. “Because you guys seem to have some history.” How can he tell you have history?!

“Sorry, I’m just a really observant person.” He chuckles.

“Um, no but we were best friends but some things happened and…” you hesitate to continue, “And…”

“It’s okay. Life has complications remember? But there’s still happy moments. So, tell me what’s not complicated about you two?”

“I love him.” you blurt out. “Wait, wait. I mean. Fuck. I mean—”

“That’s normal. He was your best friend, right?”

You sigh out in relief, your deep exhale heard throughout the whole shop.

“Exactly.”

“Are you still best friends?”

“That’s the complicated part.” You breathe out, “But does he still mean the most to me? Yeah.”

“I see.” Yoongi takes the scarf and wraps it around your neck, “I had someone like that too.” He smiles. “But I was in love with them.”

You choke on your spit, what is Yoongi…is he…does he know?

“Oh.” You decide to laugh, “But that’s not the case with me and Jungkook.”

“Never said it was.” He inspects the scarf around your neck, “You should get this,” he motions towards the scarf, “It looks good on you.”

“It’s summer time!” you laugh, “But thanks.” Your phone starts buzzing, you pull it from your back pocket to get a look at it.

Jungkook 7:42pm

Hey

Jungkook 7:42pm

Wanna come over later? Nick isn’t home

Jungkook 7:42pm

I know you said no solo hang outs but I thought I would give it a shot

Does this mean he’s ending his night early with Vanessa? If so, you may throw the whole rule away about no solo hang outs. You just cannot stand her. You don’t want to say you hate her but you do hate her attitude and honestly, overall personality.

You look over to Yoongi who is messing with the material of some cardigan, and you almost feel bad if you decide to ditch him. But your night was ending anyway, right?

y/n 7:45pm

hmm, sure. I’ll be over at 9, does that work?

Jungkook 7:45pm

Yes.

You slide your phone back into your pocket and head towards Yoongi and his new cardigan that you are assuming he is buying consider how smitten he looks with it.

“It’s nice, right?” he says holding up the piece of clothing.

“Try it on!”

“Don’t forget to come by the record store sometime y/n, since you’re a human being who loves music.” Yoongi chuckles, he leans forward and you share a cute yet awkward hug.

“Bye Yoongi. I’ll def be by.”

You unlock your car and step inside, sitting down. Yoongi shuts the car door for you and smiles and waves you goodbye as he starts heading towards his own car.

Tonight was nice, weird, then nice again. You definitely won’t use Yoongi to distract yourself from Jungkook but you definitely feel like you made a friend. He gave you some words of wisdom and comfort, that you really needed to hear. You feel like Yoongi could become someone important in your life.

~~~~~

Jungkook 9:14pm

When will you be here?

y/n 9:15pm

be there in 15.

Jungkook steps out of the shower, his towel hanging dangerously low around his hips as he takes a look in his fogged up mirror.

“You can do this.” He tells himself, his teeth catching his bottom lip.

He can hang out with you like things are back to normal. He can hang out with you like you guys are still just best fucking friends. But he hasn’t seen you since you were sick, since you had your hand in a dangerous place. Since he dreamed of you while in bed with you.

He can be normal. Like he didn’t fuck Vanessa and moan out your name the entire time. He groans and cringes just remembering that. Vanessa assured him it was fine but that just makes him feel worse. He feels guilt ridden while she remains coy and sickingly sweet.

Apparently, Jungkook got lucky. But will it be this way with every girl he’s with from now on? That’s unacceptable.

Soft knocking can be heard from the front door and a chime from his phone goes off. You must be here, he thinks.

He doesn’t have time to dress so he decided to say fuck it and open the door this way, it’s not like you haven’t seen this view before…you lived together.

He approaches the door, taking a long, deep breath before he’s swinging it open and letting you in.

You’re wearing leggings and one of his t shirts, his chest tightens at the sight. Jungkook quickly apologizes for not being dressed and you nod your head slowly, taking in his more than half naked appearance.

You flush at the sight, his towel doing barely anything to cover the outline of his length, and shit, the towel is short on him…his monstrous thighs flexing underneath. Your mouth waters as you shamelessly eye him up and down.

“Yeah…” you choke out, “Probably should get dressed…”

You make yourself comfortable on the sofa in the living room, some random movie is on TV and you mindlessly watch.

“Sorry about that” Jungkook laughs. He walks to the sofa, sitting beside you but with enough space. “You got here sooner than I thought.”

“Well, I live pretty close.” You point out, your face angled towards him. “So what’s up?” “Nothing, I just wanted to see you.” Jungkook eyes light up, “Oh! I have wine!”

You nod approvingly, “Now we’re talkin’ baby.”

Jungkook rushes to the kitchen to find two wine glasses and fills them to the brim, he walks back to the sofa and hands you a glass.

“I know you said no one on one hang outs but thanks for coming.”

“I’ll make an exception this time” you wink, bringing the glass to your lips. You nod at one another as each of you take a generous gulp.

“Aaahhh, alcohol.” You say in unison. Then you look at one another and burst into a giggle.

“How were your plans?” you pry. You set the glass down between your thighs as you move your body to face him, giving him your full attention.

“Uh…” Jungkook doesn’t know what to say.

“It’s just…” the words die on his tongue. He sends them to the graveyard as he sits back on the sofa and shuts his pretty mouth.

“You guys didn’t have fun?” you pry further. You want to know, for some reason you want to know what him and Vanessa were up to.

“Did you guys like, hang out after the ice cream place?”

“Not really…we…kind of hung out but it was quick.” He says, rubbing the back of his neck.

“A quickie, huh?” you joke, but you wonder if that’s what it really was.

“y/n.” he warns, his hands go to massage his exposed thighs, his shorts doing little to cover all his muscles.

“I’d kill myself for a quickie, it’s been so long.” You decide to be honest, you’re trying to be like normal friends again.

Jungkook’s brows crease as he looks at you, “Don’t say stuff like that.”

“Right, sorry.” You pat his shoulder, “But really, it’s been forever.” You say again.

“Um, when was the last—”

“Taehyung.”

Jungkook’s frown deepens, “When’s the last time you spoke to him?”

“Maybe a week ago? He sends me texts occasionally.”

“You talk to him?!” Jungkook howls out, his hands gripping his shorts.

“It’s more like he talks to me.” You chuckle. “What about you? When is the last time you talked to him?”

“Umm…”

“What?”

“About a day after you told me everything.” Jungkook’s eyes slide to the side, a look of guilt plastered on his face.

“You went and talked to him after?” the shock is evident in your voice.

“Something like that…” Jungkook scratches the top of his head, deciding if he should tell you the truth. He decides to be honest.

“I went over there to kick his ass.”

“Jungkook!” you blink at him repeatedly, until you’re snorting. “And how did that go?”

“Gave him a black eye.”

“And you?”

“Got a busted lip from it.” He admits, even though you can tell he didn’t want to say that last part.

“Fighting is never the answer.”

“He deserved it, y/n.”

“And did you deserve the busted lip?”

“Yeah.”

You weren’t expecting him to agree with that so quickly, you were just joking around. You realize Jungkook is probably still trying to forgive himself, like he once told you.

“Well, everything’s okay now right?”

“Is it y/n?” he doesn’t look at you. He only stares straight ahead.

“Jung—”

“I am still so sorry…” Jungkook exhales deeply, his hand finds its way to yours.

You tangle your fingers through his, until they’re interlocked.

“I know, Jungkook.”

“I’m trying so hard to…” Jungkook faces you, his frown making you wince. “…make this right.”

“I know, Jungkook.”

“I’m trying to…” he chokes on his words, his breathing becoming slightly unsteady, “…work this out.”

“Jungkook—”

“I’m trying.”

His palm in your hand becomes so sweaty and you almost want to detangle so you can wipe your hand on your yoga pants. But you keep holding on to his hand, his guilt very apparent to you right now.

You scoot closer to him until your knees are touching, you place yours and Jungkook’s hands in your lap.

“And we’re making it work, we’re taking it slow.”

“It almost feels like our friendship has started over y/n.” Jungkook’s voice cracks, “Like, I don’t remember how to be like we use to be…”

“I told you Jungkook, things probably wouldn’t be the same.” You squeeze his hand in yours, “But that’s okay. We…”

Jungkook looks at you with his doe eyes and you want to melt. You want to melt into a puddle on the floor.

“It may not be the same but could it be better this time around?” Jungkook asks with pleading eyes.

“I hope so baby.” Your other hand reaches forward and caresses Jungkook’s cheek and he leans into your touch, he breathes out, his breaths hitting your palm and you feel yourself getting hotter.

“You rarely call me baby.” Jungkook whispers. “Only time you really did is when we—”

“When we what, Jungkook?” you challenge, your hard stare making him shiver.

“I don’t have to say it.” He says. “Look, wanna get fucking wasted?”

You look at him for a few moments, just staring into his eyes before you crack a smile.

“I dare you to chug your entire glass of wine.” You point at the wine glass with your chin.

“Only if you chug yours.” Jungkook winks.

“Wow, aren’t we some classy bitches?” you joke.

You both clink your glasses together and begin chugging the wine back, the bitter flavor making you wanna puke but you handle it just fine.

“Phew, that was something” you say, trying not to throw up. “wow I am not young anymore, or what?”

“Yup, you’re an old lady. I chugged it like a champ.” Jungkook grins, setting his glass on the table in front of the couch.

“If we aren’t tipsy within the next 5 minutes I am punching someone.”

“I’m starting to wish Nick was home now, I don’t want to fall victim to your fists of fury.”

After several more glasses of wine has been drank, you find yourself snuggling close to Jungkook on the sofa.

“I thought you said no affection.” Jungkook slurs out, teasing you.

“Oh? Should I move away?”

Jungkook pulls you by the arm, making your body fall forward into his side. Closer and closer.

“Never.” Jungkook lays his head on top of yours. “Wanna go lay in bed? More comfortable.”

“Yes yes, sleep over.” You cheer drunkenly. Jungkook stands up and helps you to your feet as well. You fall forward into his arms and he has to half carry you to his room.

Jungkook has the same blue comforter on his bed and it brings you back to a million memories. You wonder how many times Vanessa has been tangled up in this blanket? You don’t even want to ask Jungkook if the sheets are clean…you don’t want to think about him with her.

“Come lay with me.” You slur out as you slip between the sheets. “I want to cuddle.”

“Coming, just gonna grab some water for us.”

“Kay” you respond lazily.

You look around Jungkook’s room, it looks exactly as his last room in the apartment you two shared. Somehow that makes you happy, like not much has changed.

“Okay, drink this.” Jungkook is nudging a glass of water between your lips but you refuse.

“Mm mm.” you shake your head.

“Be a good girl for me.” Jungkook says in a low voice, you blink up at him, opening your mouth to drink the water.

“Good.”

He sets the water down on the nightstand and sinks into bed with you, leaving the lamp on so there’s a nice, warm glow lighting up the room. You immediately snuggle close, your head nuzzling his chest.

“So…was that a date tonight?” Jungkook finds the drunken balls to ask you, finally.

“No.” you answer honestly. “But it could turn out that way.”

You don’t know why you say that. Maybe in hopes to make Jungkook jealous? But why would he be jealous?

“How so?”

“He’s a nice guy.”

“Pshh, I’ll be the judge of that.”

“He is, Jungkook.”

“So you give any nice guy a chance?” Jungkook slurs out. “I can be nice…” he says, barely above a whisper.

“Tell me 3 nice things then.” Your hand lays rest over his stomach, you rub circles on it and he sighs out.

“You’re…” Jungkook bites down on his bottom lip as he thinks, “Really beautiful.” He turns to lay on his side to face you. “Really smart.” His breaths are mingling with your own. “And really funny.”

“What generic answers.” You laugh. “But I’ll take them” you look up into his eyes, they’re dark and beautiful. “Should I compliment you too?” you ask, your drunk mind giving you confidence.

“Yes please.”

“You’re really, like really fun to be with.” Your fingers brush some of his hair out of his eyes, “You make me laugh a lot. And I think you’re really sexy.” You chuckle.

“Sexy?” he slurs out, licking his lips over and over as he watches you nod your head.

“Yeah.” Your hand goes back to his stomach, your fingers go under his shirt, brushing your fingers over his sensitive skin and he releases a long breath as he slowly closes his eyes.

“y/n…” Jungkook whines out quietly, his erratic breaths not going unnoticed by you.

“You like being touched by me?” you whisper.

“Yes.”

You know you are both too drunk right now but you cannot help but continue.

Your fingers dip lower, caressing his lower belly, your touch so light he almost doesn’t feel it. But he does feel it. He feels it.

That same hand crawls up his chest and goes behind his head, gripping a handful of hair and slightly tugging his locks, Jungkook whimpers at the feeling.

Jungkook’s hips rut forward and you feel yourself getting hotter. Jungkook has his eyes screwed shut when you tug his hair again, this time pulling his head back to expose his throat.

Your other hand reaches up and with your pointer finger you drag it from his lips down his throat until you reach his collar bones then you slowly, very slowy drag that same finger down his chest and his toned stomach.

Jungkook tries to steady his breathing but he can’t. Your own breathing not much better. You decide to retreat both hands back to your sides when Jungkook’s eyes shoot open.

He looks down at you, his eyes dark and dreamy.

“You think you can just tease me like that?” Jungkook’s voice is the lowest you’ve heard it. “Huh, y/n?”

Your name slips past his lips in a low, seductive tone and you can’t help but squeeze your thighs together. You’re drunk, you keep reminding yourself. You should stop this. But—

“What are you going to do about it Jeon?”

Jungkook glares at you before he’s smirking, his hands circle around your waist and he pulls you into his body, your chest flush against his. You feel his hard length against your stomach and you swear right then and there you become undeniably wet.

Jungkook just stares at you, stares into your eyes, stares at your lips until he’s breathing so erratically. Your harsh breaths hit his skin and he leans forward until his forehead is touching yours. Your lips so close yet so far.

“We’re drunk.” He slurs out, but there is amusement in his voice.

“Drunk people do things they’re not supposed to all the time.” You tease.

Jungkook’s go from your waist to your hips real quick, he pulls them closer to his crotch. You feel how hard he is at your center and you want to moan out right then and there. The clothed contact feels so fucking good.

“Jung—”

Jungkook desperately brings you in close, his lips connecting with yours. His mouth is warm and moving against yours messily and aggressively. You pause the kiss to moan but then dive right back in. He ruts his hips forward, you feel how desperate he is and you find yourself grinding your hips into his. The pleasure on a whole other level, his clothed cock rubbing against you so deliciously.

His tongue finds its way into your mouth, he plays with your tongue, tangling them together. You continue to moan out, your hands exploring the front of his body until you hand finds its way back into his hair. You know he loves to have his hair pulled, you do. You tug it gently at first, he disconnects his mouth from yours to groan out. Then you’re pulling it a little harder and he’s rutting against you faster. He guides your head to expose your neck to him and he begins sucking bruises, leaving his pretty art work behind.

“y/n.” your name gets dragged out between his teeth and you swear you become even wetter. You yank his head forward until his lips are on yours again, you kiss him over and over until he’s begging to be touched.

But you don’t touch him, no. You just continue to kiss him, like your life depends on it. Your lips move from his mouth to his neck, you suck on his skin as he whimpers out.

Jungkook’s hands grab a hold of your ass, grinding you closer into his crotch and you moan at the feeling. You never knew this much action with clothes on could feel so fucking good.

“Love this ass.” He massages your cheeks and gives them a light spank. You whisper his name over and over, your lips attacking his neck again. You two move desperately against one another, he finds your lips again and kisses you wet and sloppy and you couldn’t be more turned on.

And next thing you know the sun is making its way through his blinds and it’s morning. You’re dead asleep in Jungkook’s arms. The boy snoozing away as well. You two completely oblivious to last night’s adventures.

You begin to open your eyes, taking in your surroundings. That’s right, you’re in Jungkook’s room. You look all around the room until your eyes land on him. You smile softly until you see it. A purple bruise blooming on his neck…several in fact. And last night’s events hit you like a fucking train.

You quickly sit up in bed, panic filling your body when Jungkook begins to stir in his sleep, your action waking him up. He opens his own eyes and sees you staring down at him.

He notices his own evidence of his attack on your neck and goes pale. Then he says the words you’ve been thinking.

“Oh fuck.”

[feelingofcontent]

DNP Rewatch: Answering Questions I Would Usually Avoid

Date video was published: 01/26/2021 (X)

DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 435

The first true ‘AmazingPhil’ video of 2021. We were not prepared for Phil to start the year with this. Phil asked for questions on Instagram the week before.

0:02 - love that he’s wearing the moon jumper from VPMO 2 and starting with the fireworks effect

0:19 - “put my hand into the uncomfortable jar” a Phil-idiom for sure

0:29 - he really did push towards more openness with his first-half-of-2021 content

0:36 - and the wine with the little eyebrow raise as he says it! the start of this video really was a different Phil

0:50 - Phil is like...’people don’t know I’m gay?! everyone must know I’m gay!’ I love it and the “surprise!” bit 😂

1:03 - “I like....men.” totally definitely what he was thinking there...

1:14 - Phil really is funny in this video

1:25 - I’m surprised that he both didn’t seem to know, and was surprised by it...though the baking video isn’t what I would have guessed, especially because I thought January ad revenue was usually lower

1:44 - or you know, cause it got a ton of views for reasons

1:55 - king of comedy with the screenshot when he says “fashion” there 😂

1:58 - also appreciate the insight into how that works

2:07 - he really addressed this one early in the video...and his answer to it is definitely a point he wanted to get across to his audience at the start of the year

2:28 - yay boundary-setting! and the ice cream shop line is just iconic now. I love Phil

2:51 - excellent use of the “boing” sound effect

3:07 - seriously SO funny in this one

3:14 - the all-caps “BYE” at the end kills me 😂

3:34 - he is definitely better unscripted

3:47 - I mean, that one is particularly bad. but I wonder if part of that is the control factor...most photos of himself that get published, he gets to pick out himself

4:10 - show us pictures of those looks, Phil!! I want a better picture of their last Star Wars premiere looks so much

4:21 - John shout-out! and Charlie! those were good mentions. 

4:31 - feel like he also could have mentioned PJ or Bryony, but they didn’t seem to be who he was thinking of...I wonder who he was that he didn’t want to be grouped with. not sure Dan really counted as an “OG YouTuber,” but Phil is grouping Dan with himself! (and also begins an unprecedented streak of Dan mentions and/or appearances in Phil’s videos in early 2021)

4:35 - ...and I wonder how much of a nugget of truth was in that statement

5:02 - he had never talked about this on YouTube before...this is awful 🙁

5:33 - and the fear and anxiety he had after that must have been horrible to deal with. maybe no wonder he didn’t want to leave his house with Dan when he came to visit

6:10 - this is the perfect way to explain that feeling. also the opposite as well...my bi self realizing that the women I “admired” when I was younger was more than just admiration...

6:25 - terrifying; love sarcastic Phil

6:39 - him admitting this and then explaining his reasoning for it...lol. I do not think I want to know what kind of secret accounts Dan has, on the other hand

6:52 - I actually can’t believe he touched this question

6:56 - and answered it, but mostly used it for a good message/advice to his audience

7:20 - word choice regret 😳

7:39 - he definitely did a nervous run of his hand through his quiff at some point during that answer

8:06 - “I love you all. Let me into heaven, guys. I’ll be fun; I’ll bring a board game” is somehow the most Phil answer

8:15 - the contrast of ‘not going to talk about my current dating life’ a few questions ago and then this... ‘did you see my video with Dan? did you know I bought a house with Dan?’ and that is DNP in 2021...no direct statements, but just living life together and making it obvious in every other way

8:48 - I’m really glad Phil’s at that point with his channel where he just has fun and doesn’t have to worry about the numbers

9:04 - “watch this one twice” more king of comedy

9:30 - 😂 and then he had to google about that...

9:51 - really a lot of “ass reveal” talk between this and the Dan magazine shoot conversation in the last video

10:06 - and an f-bomb in his first video of the year. Phil in 2021, huh?

10:17 - he can throw Dan under the bus all he wants...though he’s sharing the blame

10:25 - HOW did they think that was a good idea?! 

10:44 - they actually did remember lemon juice, but they did a lot of other things questionably

10:48 - can’t have us thinking it still wasn’t funny and fun to film though! of course they still had fun

10:54 - you truly can see the panic in Phil’s eyes in that video

11:03 - what even is this last question/ending

11:28 - “Danny” again

I love this video a lot. It makes me laugh and appreciate Phil. And has a more open, personal Phil, while still keeping the boundaries he’s comfortable with.

Sidenote: shortly before this video is when I created this blog, so now I have a reference for my thoughts and other thoughts I liked and reblogged at the time as well. Such as Phil using these kind of prompts/videos to get a particular point across.

[solarwonux]

Payment Due! || Jeon Wonwoo (7/7)

Epilogue 6 Months Together 

Pairing: Camboy!Wonwoo x f!reader || sex worker au!

w.c: 15.1k (I’m literally sorry lmao)

Genre: 18+ smut, fluff, angst

Warnings: fluff, reader is petty at some point. Mentions of period, smut (not my best scene tbh, it’s not the point of the scene so wtvr lolol) exhibitionism, dom wonwoo, spanking, riding, mentions of multiple orgasms, daddy kink. I edited this as best as I could.  

Synopsis: HYBE U one of the top highly prestigious universities in the country. A shithole, a total money making scam that liked to sucked the life out of its students. Not being able to meet the funds to pay for your tuition your best friend lets you in a little secret. A way he’s been keeping afloat for years now, easy money. The problem is you want in.

Note: thank you all so much for following me throughout this crazy journey. This is the longest series I have ever written. So it means the world to me that you guys have followed it. I’m not the best at answering comments or ask but BELIEVE me I READ everything and I screenshot them and save them in my favorites folder lolol. 

Without further ado, here’s the epilogue. Enjoy and please let me know your thoughts. xx Ending ment will be uploaded tomorrow. Thank you sooooooooooooooooooooo much from the bottom of my heart. xxxxxx

m. list || prev

End of Month 1 - Post Graduation.

“How do I look?”

Maya sat on your couch, leaning forward on her knees with her chin placed in the palm of her hands; bored.

It had been roughly four hours since she arrived at your apartment with three shopping bags full of snacks, for your highly anticipated Studio Ghibli movie marathon. And here she was, four hours later doing anything but that. Watching you change into a bunch of different outfits for your first date with Wonwoo that was still two days away.

She sighs and leans back, crossing her arms; annoyed. “The same as all the other times you asked me. Good, sexy, drop-dead gorgeous, and all the synonyms that are in the thesaurus for the world beautiful. Now can we get to the marathon?”

You groan, running your fingers through your hair and turn to look at yourself in the full-length mirror you brought out from the guest bedroom. The flowy black casual mini dress was simple with a ruched top bodice, and a plunging neckline. It was beautiful, you had bought it on a whim a little more than a year ago, without any plans on wearing it. Promising yourself that one day you will.

Now that the day had arrived, you weren’t so sure. Slightly regretting buying it in the first place. “Are you sure, it’s not too simple or casual right?”

“Where is he taking you?” Maya says standing up and walking to your kitchen. She rummages through the plastic bags she brought earlier. Delightfully hums when she finds the sour gummy worms, a full pack of just the pink and blue ones. Her favorite.

You let out an exasperated sigh, “That’s the thing he hasn’t told me.” You grumble, walking over and taking the bag from her, grabbing four gummy worms. “He says it’s a surprise, like how am I supposed to know what to wear if he doesn’t tell me where we are going. I don’t know if it’s casual or fancy or business casual or just plain out a nude event.” You rant, stuffing all four gummy worms into your mouth at once. Cringing when the sourness overpowers your tastebuds.

“I hate surprises!”

Maya laughs, taking the bag of sour worms from your hand and pops one into her mouth. Satisfied. “If it’s a nude event I don’t think what you end up wearing matters. You won’t be wearing it for long anyway.” She jokes, making you groan in annoyance.

You loved your friends, dearly. But sometimes they were the least helpful people you had the pleasure in knowing. Before Maya had arrived today you were in a three-way facetime call with Minghao, and Jeonghan. None of them offering any helpful advice.

“You're thinking about this too much,” Maya says, putting her arms around your waist hugging you tightly. “You and Wonwoo have known each other for years. He’s seen you through every phase of your life, good or bad. No matter what you wear, even if you show up in a cardboard box he will still look at you like you brought down the moon.” She whispers resting her head on your shoulder. “You’ll be fine.”

You sigh, hugging her back. “I know but this is different.” You pout, “He went on that Archaeology trip right after graduation. So, I haven’t seen him in person for over a month. What if his perception of me has become a little funny cause he’s only seen dirt, bones, fossils, artifacts, and me through a phone screen.” You exclaim dramatically.

Maya lifts her head and gives you an incredulous look. “Please, say that sentence again and realize how stupid you just sounded.” She unravels her arms from her waist and hurls herself up onto your kitchen counter. “You’re being paranoid again. I promise you everything is going to be fine.” She grabs the bag of gummy worms and fishes out one before offering it to you.  

Pouting, you bite only the blue side, making her shake her head, putting the remaining side - the red side - into her mouth, chewing slowly. “I like the red one, the one you tried on earlier with the strappy back. It’s not too fancy but also not too casual.” She states, rather proudly. “And I know he won’t be able to keep his hand off you the second he sees you.” She winks, making you roll your eyes.

“Just cause you and Soonyoung are always at it like rabbits, doesn’t mean everyone is.” You scoff, walking out of the kitchen. You weren’t going to lie. The thought of having sex with Wonwoo again, instead of face time sex - which didn’t feel nearly as good as the real stuff - was exciting. But you didn’t want that to be the whole focus of the night.

You missed him so much. His eyes, which shined brighter than the stars in the night sky. His nose, which ran courses along your neck whenever the two of you cuddled and would scrunch up cutely when you kissed it or when he was heavily concentrated on something. His lips; that felt like two crushed velvet pillows when connected with your own. His voice; that danced over forensic anthropology terms he only knew the definition of. His laugh, which sounded like your favorite song; giving off the same excitement as hearing it on the radio for the first time.

You missed his arms, his jokes, his pouts, his presence so much that for the first week he was away. Every night whenever the two of you got on Facetime you would cry. It would make him laugh so cutely, with a bit of concern and longing lingering in between hiccups. And that only made you cry even harder. Since then he counted down the days. Sending you little reminders every morning - well morning for him he was literally on the other side of the world - of how much longer he had left on his trip.

It was hard, no matter how much easier it got as the closing days of his trip came faster than expected. Time Zones were a bitch and whenever it was morning for you, it was the night for him. Facetiming was limited because no matter what the two of you couldn’t figure out the best time to call. And whenever you did, it was the odd chance that the two of you had a day off.

Even now, when he was just two floors below you and had been back for almost a week; you still hadn’t seen each other. His body was trying to get used to abrupt time changes once again. In addition, he was adding the finishing touches to his report. Hoping to get the internship at the forensic anthropology lab downtown that he had been eyeing for years now. The only other contact - besides the random phone calls during the day, the flirty texts, or the flowers he had delivered to your doorstep every day of this week - was the document, home to his thirty-page lab report that he shared with you. In which, you would run to open whenever he begged you to edit the newly added part of the day.

So yeah, sex would be amazing. Lord knows the two of you would need it after the post-graduation stress and being away from each other for so long. But in truth, you just wanted to be with him more than anything in the world.

“We don’t have sex that much,” Maya yells after you.

“Every time I call you, the two of you are always in the middle of it so what am I supposed to think?” You yell back, grabbing the red dress Maya had raved about and placing it on top of your bed, spreading it out carefully.

“You just have a talent for calling at the wrong time.” She says, her voice getting closer and before you know it she was hopping over the mountain of clothes that occupied the better half of your bedroom floor. “Soonyoung thinks it’s funny, he always bets before we start when you’re about to call.”

You scrunch up your face. “I did not need to know that part of your sex life.”

“Says the one who masterbated on camera three times.” She jokes, picking up a ball of rolled-up socks and throwing it in your direction, missing you completely. “I’m still mad at Soonyoung.” she crosses her arms in front of her, looking around your room, avoiding your eyes completely.

You felt for her. It wasn’t every day that you find out that your kind of boyfriend - her words exactly - has seen your best friend naked on camera. Soonyoung confessed to her rather than keeping it a secret two days after they started seeing one another. The shock of seeing you at the diner that night and recognizing you had sent him over the edge, the guilt eating him alive. So he confessed to Maya and also apologized to you, even though he had nothing to be sorry for. His kind heart had taken over and he did so anyway.  

It took Maya at least three days to wrap her head around it, a part of her wanted to condemn you and Wonwoo for what you did. But the other half of her knew that it had to have been for a good reason. It was the awkwardest conversation you and Maya had ever had. Wonwoo only contributed mildly because his connection was shitty and made it impossible to hear, but the three of you managed to work through it. Though, sometimes you could see the lingering fracture of an almost heartbreak. The slight comparison that comes when you realize that your kind of boyfriend has seen other people naked.

You wished you could take everything back.

“You know he likes you right? And I mean like really really really likes you, Maya.” You kneel in front of her and grab her hands. “I’ve never seen someone look at someone else like he looks at you.” You whisper, making her lookup. “And for what it’s worth if I could take it back I would.”

“You don’t have to, I know you would never do something to intentionally hurt me. It’s just that I almost wish I didn’t know.” She sighs, bringing your locked hands up and resting her chin on top of them. “But I’m glad I do know, cause I know I can trust him.”

You nod and hug her tightly, “I love you a lot.” You mumble, squeezing her tight. She groans, trying her hardest to push you away as she replies with breathy, I love you too. It causes a laugh to erupt out of your lungs and quickly you pull away, watching as she dramatically gasps for air with her hand over her heart.

“Want to start our movie marathon now?” You stand up, extending your arms for her to take.

“Duh! It’s the only thing I’ve looked forward to all day today.”

Beginning of Month 2 - First Date

The clock hanging by the entrance of your apartment doesn’t work, but that doesn’t stop you from taking a peek at it every few seconds while you anxiously pace around in circles in your living room.

It’s D-Day. The day of your first official first date Wonwoo. The pre-date jitters have been relentless since you woke up at four in the morning. Yes, you couldn’t sleep. Nor could you eat, and messing up your eyeliner three times while getting ready earlier was the last straw. The nervous tears didn’t stop for an hour, your face puffing up more than it already was.

Nothing was going right.

At least that’s what you had thought three hours ago before the mini pep talk you gave yourself in front of your mirror after your third bath of the day. Your water bill wasn’t a top priority.

After that comforting alone time, everything that followed went smoothly with no bumps in the road. You even managed to sneak in a full hour nap before doing your make-up. Face still puffy but it wasn’t anything ice-cold water couldn’t fix. Everything was fine. Until the waiting portion of the night came.

He wasn’t late, nor was he early. Knowing him he would be knocking at your door in the next five minutes. Making him a whole two minutes early, but that didn’t stop your nerves from eating away at you.

It was complete torture.

You sighed, taking another lap around your couch, chewing on your bottom lip, thanking the makeup gods for creating lip stains. The last thing you wanted was to open your door with red lipstick all over your teeth. Wonwoo would never let you live it down.

Almost as if on cue, the light knock on your door sounded, making you jump. Quickly you made your way across the living room, slowing down your steps the closer you got to your front door. You took one last look in the mirror you kept next to your door for situations like this one. Once you were sure everything was in place, including your hair, make-up, lipstick, and pushed up your boobs you opened the door to reveal a very nervous-looking Wonwoo holding a bouquet of lilacs.

First Love.

“Hey,” He says, taking a step forward and extending his hand even further, “I didn’t know which flowers to get so I got the ones that are your favorite color.” He finishes, voice shaking, only slightly at the end of his sentence.

In awe. You have to fight yourself from bursting into tears as you take them from his hand. “I love them, they're beautiful.” You whisper, stepping aside to let them in. “I’ll put these in water and then I’ll put on my shoes and we can go.” You walk into the kitchen, grabbing the first vase you spot in your overhead cupboard.

Wonwoo watches you, awkwardly standing in the spot separating the kitchen and the living room. He’s been in your apartment so many times, yet for some reason he feels completely awkward. Like he’s out of place. Though, he blames the pre-date jitters that kept him up all night for that. For God’s sake, he’s literally crashed on your couch before, used your shower with you - platonically at first - and his entire precious gaming setup is still sitting pretty in your guest bedroom. Untouched.

He belongs here. And his overthinking brain isn’t going to convince him otherwise.

“I’m ready.” You announce, clutching your purse to the front of your body, your feet in high tops, somehow coinciding with the casual white flowy dress. Last-minute you had panicked and changed out of the dress Maya had chosen because you felt too overdressed. You made the right call because Wonwoo was wearing, converse that coincidentally matched your own, light-washed jeans, with a black t-shirt neatly tucked in, his biceps bulging out of its sleeves. Leaving you to wonder if it was due to all the digging he had to do for an entire month or his frequent visits to the gym with the guys. Likely, a mixture of both.

“You look beautiful.” He smiles, closing the distance between the two of you and hugs you tightly. Squeezing the air out of you, making you gasp. “I missed you so much, baby.” He whispers, placing a gentle kiss against the crown of your head.

You melt in his touch and hug him back,  “I missed you too.” You whisper, burying your head in the crook of his neck, breathing in his heavenly smell. Adding another thing to the list of things you missed about Wonwoo while he was away. A list you will keep to secrecy in fear of inflating his ego or worse putting a hold on his dreams to stop your list from growing.

“We should go. I made reservations.” He pulls away after a long two minutes. You pout at the way he selfishly takes his warmth with him. Then you register what he just said and your eyes grow wide with panic, making him chuckle. He brings his hand up, brushing his thumb underneath your eyelid, picking up a fallen eyelash. “Relax, it’s nothing fancy and you look great.” He extends his thumb, and like second nature you place it above his. Wordlessly the two of you close your eyes, make a wish before opening them again. The two of you smile.

Old habits die hard or grow into something more.

You can’t help but feel like you’ve ruined everything as Wonwoo is driving you back home. You weren’t even halfway to the place when you felt it. The family jabs in your ovaries and the gush of liquid between your legs.

You blame wearing the white dress instead of the red one.

Though now you understood why you had been overly emotional the past day and why you had woken up with three tiny zits adorning your chin. It was not due to stress.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper for the thirtieth time since Wonwoo made the u-turn after you embarrassingly admitted to him that your period had just decided to make its grand entrance.

The ground wasn’t opening up to swallow you whole.

Wonwoo looks at you briefly and smiles. “It’s okay, we can move our date location to your apartment or mine.” He says, placing a comforting hand over your lap. “Do you have everything you need back home?” He turns into the tiny parking lot of a convenience store and brings his car to a stop.

You hum, scrunching up your chin, thinking. “Pads, I have enough tampons but I can’t sleep with them, oh, and popcorn, and if they have those Nutella sticks, those too.” You nod. Your attention everywhere but his eyes. It’s already embarrassing, that you’ve stained your dress, but also his car seat!

Honestly, you weren’t going to let yourself live this down. On your deathbed, instead of remembering all the good things in your life, you’ll be remembering this instead. The day you ruined your first date with Wonwoo because you forgot to check your period app, even though deep down you knew it was early. Two days to be exact.

“Alright, anything else?” He unbuckles his seatbelt, watching you closely. He’s never once seen you blush, but with the way your ears are fired up even in the dim light of his car. He knows that you’re embarrassed and beating yourself up inside. It makes his chest contract in pain. 

“Baby,” He whispers, his hand coming underneath your chin so you can look at him. “It’s okay, I promise.” He says as reassuringly as possible before gently pecking your lips. “Do you need anything else?”

You nod, your face morphing into slight pain as you feel the strong pull in your ovaries. “Some painkillers would be nice too.”

Wonwoo smiles, pecking your lips again. “I’ll be right back, try to do those breathing exercises people do when they’re in labor.” He opens the door and gets out.

“I’m on my period not having a baby.” You exclaim as he laughs.

He leans down, his face appearing again, “I feel like I read somewhere that it’s kind of the same thing.” He shrugs, blowing you a kiss. “I’ll be back, I love you.” He says, and shuts the door softly, but forceful enough for it to click shut.

Truly, you blame wearing the white dress instead of the red for this.

“Do you want to move again?” Wonwoo whispers as you let out another painful sigh. The two painkillers you had taken on the way home, did nothing to subside your cramps. Neither did the hot pack Wonwoo placed on your lower stomach an hour ago or the lower back massage he was giving you now as the two of you cuddled.

After your pit stop. Wonwoo sped through the streets trying to get you home as fast as possible. Slightly terrified that he’d get a ticket for speeding...again. Thankfully, when your apartment building came into view, Wonwoo laughed at the sigh of relief you let out. Which was only masked with horror when you realized you’d have to step out of the car, in order to get to your apartment.

Wonwoo saw your distress and handed you the spare hoodie he kept in his back seat. You literally burst into tears when he insisted on tying it around your waist. His hand was pressed on your lower back as he slowly led you into the building and towards the elevator. Completely ignoring front desk Kyle and Apartment 203 Kyle who were quarreling about a new release.

If things were different, you and Wonwoo would’ve bet a month’s worth of laundry on which of the two Kyle’s would give up first by now. But you were in pain and mortified and your bed was calling your name.

“No it’s okay, I’m comfortable like this.” You mumble, laying your head on his chest. His fingers dig into your lower back delicately with precision as if he were playing the piano. Creating a tiny symphony against your skin.

He hums, sits up a little, and kisses your temple. “Try and get some sleep, I’ll stay over so if you wake up in the middle night just wake me okay?” He says while laying down. He takes a hold of your thigh and drapes it over his hip. The shifting movement makes you sigh, but this time in relief.

“I’m sorry I ruined our date?” You pout, closing your eyes. The cramps were finally dying down and you felt the evident wave of relaxation finally crash over your body, breaking.

Wonwoo chuckles, moving your hair out of your face. He had even helped you in removing your makeup. It only made your heart grow for him even more. “You didn’t ruin anything, this is the best first date I’ve ever had.” He says, voice full of sincerity and it makes the tears well up in your eyes.

You didn’t know where he was planning on taking you in the first place, but you didn’t care to find out. You didn’t need an extravagant date. An expensive dinner date at a five-star restaurant or a romantic picnic underneath the moonlight. All you needed was this. To know that the person you had given your heart to cared. He had already gone above and beyond, taking care of you and not condemning you for something that you literally had no control of.

Wonwoo made you feel loved and more. And that was all you could ever ask for.

This too had been the best first date or date in general that you had ever been on.

Month 3 - Heaven’s Cloud Grand Opening

“Babe we need to go,” Wonwoo, irritated, yells as he walks through the hallway leading up to your room. His hands stuffed into the pocket of his navy blue slacks. He told you to be ready by six and it’s almost six and you’re still not ready.

Wonwoo strived to be on time. Always.

“I know, I’m almost done. I promise.” You answer, checking your lipstick in your dresser mirror. Wonwoo enters the room, stops dead in his tracks when he finally sees what you’re wearing. A black long sleeve mini dress, with an open back. He all but loses it.

“Do I look okay?” You turn to face him, red lips slightly parted as you open your arms wide, giving him an awkward twirl. You acknowledge that your outfit won’t be complete until you put on your shoes, but you were prolonging the use of heels as long as you could. Even if the ones you had chosen were your most comfortable pair. “Woo, I should change right?” You sigh, wiggling your toes through your fuzzy carpet.

Wonwoo doesn’t answer, instead stands there with his mouth dry, pupils dilated, sweat pooling inside the palm of his hands. Truthfully, he hasn’t heard a thing you’ve said since he walked in. His punctuality leaves out the window while he fights against that little voice in the back of his head that’s telling him to forget about Joshua’s grand opening and stay with you tonight, underneath your sheets.

Damn, he’s royally fucked.

“Umm, Wonwoo are you alright?” You wave your hand in front of his face, the sleeves of your dress pulled down revealing your sticky bra. And even that has the blood rushing down to his cock. Picturing the way your nipples stretch out while he slowly peels it away from your body.

God, he needs to get a hold of himself.

“Yeah, just…” He pauses, swallowing thickly, his hands itching to reach out and grab you. “We’re almost late, we should get going.” He says, coughing at the end of his sentence, turning around, and walking out of your room.

You scoff in disbelief at his aloofness. Fine, you conclude, pulling up the sleeves of your dress, and crossing  your arms in front of you. You turn to your mirror, running your tongue over your teeth, before clicking it.

You didn’t need to know Wonwoo’s approval to know you looked hot as fuck.

“This is Jungkook, he’s the one that painted the mural.”

Joshua patted the younger man on the back before pointing to the painted wall behind him. It’s a beautiful, intricate rococo-style mural, with of course a modern twist. It made you stop dead in your tracks when you walked in. Your jaw falling wide, almost reaching the ground. You were so distracted, overwhelmed by such beauty that you didn’t feel Wonwoo bump into you from behind. Probably hyper-focused on his phone rather than where he was going.

His fault for not complimenting you in the first place. In your head, you had convinced yourself that this was his karma.

“It’s absolutely beautiful, oh my god, I swear the air left my lungs when I first saw it.” You complimented, shaking his extended hand. Wonwoo was next to you, hand on your lower back, drawing small circles to remind you that he was still there. But just like he ignored you. You ignored him.

“Wow, thanks, that means a lot to me. Truthfully if it wasn’t for the fact that we were in a bit of a time crunch I would’ve painted over it like five times.” He says, sheepishly, retreating his hand and scratching the back of his neck.

Joshua rolls his eyes, patting Jungkook’s back once again, “And I fired him every time he threatened to repaint it.” He jokes, taking a sip of champagne from his flute, ears perking up when he hears his name being called for the thousandth time. Nodding, a gentle goodbye before walking towards Jeonghan who was balancing two trays of champagne flutes in both of his hands, clearly struggling.

It was early in the night, but you could tell that the grand opening of his restaurant - Heaven’s Cloud, co-owned by the three boyfriends - was off to a great start. You were so proud of them for finally going through something they had in the works for years. They even gave you the exclusive PowerPoint presentation one night, explaining their vision. Seeing it finally come to life brought tears to your eyes. Tears that you quickly pushed away because you didn’t want Wonwoo to see you cry. You were still a bit upset with him.

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t. I’ve never seen such a beautiful painting from a local artist before.” You pause, laughing lightly, shaking your head. “I take it back Minghao’s paintings are beautiful too, I officially have two hung up in my apartment. Maybe I can convince you to paint one for me too.”

Jungkook smiles widely, nodding his head. “I would love that. You’d officially be the second commission I ever do.” He states proudly, holding two fingers in front of him. You take a step forward, Wonwoo’s hand falling away from your back down to his side. You can’t see him, but you can feel his burning gaze on you. A bit annoyed that you’re paying more attention to the young artist and not him. Your lovely, sweet boyfriend, who gets so stunned by your beauty that he forgets how to function.

“It’s an honor, can I get your number?” You tilt your head, extending your phone out to him, unlocked. A sweet picture of you and Wonwoo from last month, sharing a kiss underneath the cherry blossoms, adorning your phone screen. If only he was still the same man who told you he loved you every time his eyes caught a falling flower petal.

Sigh.

Jungkook blushes, taking your phone from your hands and he quickly types in his number before handing it back to you. “I texted myself, sorry.” He says, and not even a minute later his phone chimes, a wide smile appearing across his face.

“Can you tell me more about the painting?” You go to stand next to him, placing your hand on top of his shoulder. Smirking when you hear the low groan escape Wonwoo’s lips.

You weren’t trying to make him jealous. In fact, your flirting mode had been inactivated throughout the entire interaction between you and Jungkook. You were genuinely curious about the painting. It had evoked such a strong emotion from you that you wanted to know more about it.

And maybe you were being a bit petty towards Wonwoo, but could anyone blame you? You looked hot as fuck and he had completely disregarded that.

“Um, yeah, I’d love to.” Jungkook rushes out, awkwardly shifting his gaze between you and Wonwoo. He could feel the tension between the two of you. Knew the two of you were together, that much he had gathered by not just your phone’s wallpaper, but also the way the two of you danced around one another effortlessly, even if you were in some kind of fight.

He felt like painting it.

“Awesome, can we take a closer look.” You nod your head towards the mural, crossing your arms in front of you. Feeling a bit self-conscious as Wonwoo’s gaze burned brightly through the skin of your back. It took everything in you to not take the few steps back that you had taken forward and hug him tight. Kiss his cheek and tell him that you loved him more than love itself.

The petty side of your brain thought otherwise. You weren’t going to flirt with Jungkook, he was cute. Had the appeal of a bad boy with a sweet side due to the intricate tattoo designs he had covering his arms. But you weren’t interested in him one bit. Your heart belongs entirely to the man, fuming with jealousy behind you.

So you were just going to make it look like you were flirting. The distance would give off the illusion.

“Sure, after you beautiful.”

Wonwoo continued to ignore you the entire night. Only, lingering around you following you like a shadow wherever you and Jungkook went. Listening to you and the young artist talk animatedly about art and museums and things he had no knowledge about. Things he never once knew you were interested in.

The Baroque Period was one of your favorite eras when it came to art, with the Art Nouveau period coming in on a close second. He learned about your fascination with Bernini’s Apollo and Daphne marble sculpture. Listened to you talk passionately about how one man was able to not only get the details of the human body right. But the anguish on Daphne’s face made you feel for her. And how amazed you were that he managed to make the leaves on her fingers thin and sheer enough to allow light to go through.

Each time you opened your mouth Wonwoo looked at you so lovingly. He was attentive without meaning to be and made mental notes on all the pieces that you mentioned. Promising himself that he would look them up as soon as he could and read all about them. They had to be out of this world to get your eyes to sparkle like they were stars in the night sky.

The downside of it all is that each time you opened your mouth, he saw Jungkook’s fall from grace. His utter demise. A part of him felt for the young artist. Wonwoo knew what it was like to love someone that would never be yours. The other part of him, the more vindictive side, stood by you proudly, sending warning glares to the tattooed boy whenever his gaze lingered on yours for a little longer than it was supposed to.

Wonwoo’s pride didn’t falter for a second. On the car ride home, after many cocktail finger foods, group pictures, and teary-eyed speeches. Wonwoo didn’t break. His jaw clenched, gripping the steering wheel.

The air was tense. It was overwhelming but it didn’t feel like something you couldn’t handle. Even now as he walked in and out of your bedroom, slowly getting ready for bed. The unspoken agreement that he would be staying the night, dancing between the two of you while you waited for him underneath your covers in your pink heart-patterned pajamas.

Daring one another to see which one would break first.

In the end, it was you. Missing the sound of his voice a little too much than normal. “I’m mad at you.” You voice, making him stop to look at you as he walked back into your room, wearing the other matching set to your pajamas. He places his folded clothes on top of your dresser, lifting his brow up clearly confused. As far as he knew, the only one that should be mad for the way you had acted tonight was him. And he wasn’t, just sad, but not upset.

“You didn’t tell me I looked beautiful tonight. Not when I asked you before leaving, or any time during the night.” You confess, sitting up, running your finger along the tiny flowers painted onto your duvet.

Wonwoo stutters, forgetting all the feelings he had coursing through him, running to your side of the bed, stubbing his toe with the foot of your bed in the process. You jump, reaching your arms to him as he falls back onto your mattress, moaning in pain, holding onto his foot. He brushes you off, the throbbing pain could wait, right now he needs to make his idiot actions right. So, he sits up, cringing, and grabs both of your hands, bringing them up to his lips and kissing each of your knuckles gently.

“My love, you looked radiant today. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you when you asked but I was at a loss for words, honestly, my brain turned into mush when I saw you.” He scoots himself closer, both of his legs on either side of your body trapping you in. “You have no idea how much I wanted to skip the grand opening and just stay here, with you, underneath your covers for the rest of the night.” He nods, circling both of his arms around your waist, bringing you closer. “And every time I saw you laughing with that guy-

“Jungkook.”

“That guy,” He reiterates, making you roll your eyes. “I wanted to take you to the nearest bathroom and Christian the hell out of it.” He says, his hands dancing around your back.

You pout, burying your face into his chest. “I’m sorry for not saying anything sooner, I know you didn’t like watching me and Jungkook all night.” Sighing, you wrap your arms around his waist hugging him tightly.

Wonwoo smiles, kissing the top of your head. “It’s okay, I liked watching you talk. It also made me realize how you felt whenever I talked about bones and stuff. Cause I didn’t understand shit but I didn’t care. I was seeing a different side of you and I loved it.” He pauses, “Even though I wish it was directed towards me.”

You gasp inaudibly and lift your head up. “All you have to do is ask Woo, I have two semesters of art history downloaded in here-” You point to your head, “Permanently.”

He laughs airly, but it’s cut short by the need to give you another kiss. So he does, short, sweet but with purpose. “Every time I learn something new about you I fall more in love.” He whispers, head tilted, eyes filled with so much adoration that you want to cry. “Last week was your weird obsession with the Twilight series.”

You groan, throwing your head back. “It’s not weird or an obsession, it literally shaped my entire childhood and adolescence.” You state matter of factly.

“I mean I have to agree, that last one was crazy. I definitely didn’t expect that plot twist.”

“I told you it was life-changing.” You poke his cheek.

“I don’t know about life-changing, but definitely mind-fucking.”

“Whatever.” You grumble, lowering your head and hiding your smile from him. The satisfaction you felt when you managed to sit him down for a Twilight marathon was award-winning. Even more so how into it he got during the biggest plot twist of your entire life. His whines of protest, claiming he was going to sue Stephanie Meyer or whoever directed the movie for emotional distress.

“I’m still sorry Wonwoo.”

“It’s okay I am sorry too.” He smiles, laying you down on your back and hovering above you. “Now I may not be an artist like Jinhyung-”

“Jungkook.” You correct, causing him to roll his eyes.

“Yeah who cares.” He leans down, stopping just above your lips, “I may not be an artist like him but I can paint the most beautiful mosaic on your body tonight.”

You smile, giggling, “How long did it take you to come with that one?”

“The entire car ride home.” He stops, sticking his tongue out, licking his lips before leaning in closer. His lips brushing against yours, “Did it work?”

“Most definitely.”

Month 4: Internship and Blues

Congratulations!

Wonwoo couldn’t believe his eyes as he read over the congratulatory email for the thousandth time. Suddenly all those late nights he spent researching, writing, erasing sentences he could not make sense of, didn’t seem too bad because everything had aligned so perfectly he was going to scream out of joy.

Quickly, he exited the mail app and went straight to your contact name. He couldn’t wait to tell you. Couldn’t wait to hear that tiny squeal that always escaped your mouth whenever your body couldn’t handle so much excitement. His smile was so wide until he pressed his phone to his ear and heard the first ring.

Should he tell you? Would you be happy for him? Or will your happiness be masked with a little tang of disappointment?

You were struggling to find a job again.

Last week you had left your job at the tutoring center and Minghao’s bookstore wasn’t paying enough. Joshua had offered you a waitressing job at Heaven’s Cloud. But after one day, wrong orders, broken plates, and a furious Seungcheol. Everyone came to the agreement that waitressing was not a profession for you.

Even though you had managed to pick up a few freelance writing projects, they weren’t enough to feed your soul. He witnessed how defeated you looked whenever you sent out your resume and writing samples to publishing companies. Even the small ones and start-up ones. Each one came back with a letter of rejection. It hurt him to see you so depleted. So hurt. That he didn’t even feel like celebrating anymore. More so because the internship Wonwoo had been feigning for was all the way in the heart of the city. Which meant he had to move.

With a sigh, he brought his phone down and hung up before you got the chance to answer. He would tell you, but he needed some time to process the turmoil of emotions he had coursing through him. Thankfully, upon request by Minghao the two of you had started meditating. Nothing too serious, just ten minutes a day whenever he could. And surely he needed to feel that calm state of mind now in order to break the news.

Though he knew you wouldn’t be anything less but proud for him. He still didn’t want to bring you down more than what you already were. It was a very thin line that he was walking on. One that asked him to be in a calm state before crossing it.

So, he opened the videos Minghao sent him and sat in his car, palms facing the sky. The smooth voice and gentle frequencies, enveloping his body, relaxing him. He knew by the time he opened his eyes again he would be ready to tell you.

The blank word document was almost haunting. It was possibly one of the worst feelings you could ever encounter in your life. You had gotten word from one of your freelance writing positions that an editor spot had opened up in one of the publishing firms you had been eyeing for months now. Always too intimidated to actually send in your resume and writing samples. Though now the clock was ticking fast, counting down the seconds. You only truly had enough funds to pay for two more months worth of rent. That is if you skipped out on basic human needs, like food, laundry, and electricity.

Without paying for those you’d have two months’ worth of rent left if you stayed paying for those things you had probably half a months’ worth of rent. So, after pacing tirelessly around your living room and making your award-winning pros and cons lists. You caved and decided to reach out to Universe Factory Publishing & Co, with your heart on your sleeve knowing you had nothing left to lose.

The only problem came after reading all your old writing samples. Understanding why you had been rejected from all the other places you had applied to, because in nicer words than you had originally thought; they all sucked. But your blank document staring back at you sucked even more. No matter how hard you tried, nothing seemed to come out of your brain. Your mind had gone blank and it was frustrating.

“Hey, I’m here!” Wonwoo exclaims while toeing off his shoes at the front door. You had been swimming so deep in your head that you didn’t hear the familiar beep of your front door. The familiar sound made your ears perk up and in an instant to the point that you were standing in front of your door waiting to greet him.

Not this time. Even before he walked in he could sense your distress as he typed in the code to your front door. A slight frown across his face when he found you slumped over your coffee table, head resting on top of your laptop keyboard looking at the door. A faraway glimmer hiding deep behind your eyes.

“Uh, oh, I know this look. What’s wrong?” He smiles, making his way to you and sitting down next to you, placing the colorful bouquet of roses he had picked up on his way home on top of your coffee table. “Can’t write?” He says, snaking his arm over your shoulder, reeling you in.

You nod, “My brain has stopped working.” You whisper, scrunching your face in distaste before sitting up. Your sights catch the bouquet, laying in front of you unattended. A total of nine roses. Your heart swells up with ease.

Eternal Love

You weren’t sure if Wonwoo knew that you knew that he did this intentionally. He had taken a Plant Taxonomy course one year during his undergraduate. And of course, you had written most of his papers, so you knew, that every time he gave you flowers it was like he was reassuring you and his love for you. Nine roses meant eternal love, the red ones obviously meant love, the pink ones, gratitude, the yellow ones, friendship, and the white ones, purity. An entire love story in the form of a bouquet.

Your love story in the form of a bouquet.

Ignorance is bliss, though, so you acted like you didn’t know. Keeping his secret a little longer until he decided to share it with you.

“They’re beautiful. Can I go put them in water now.” You beam, reaching past him, grabbing the bouquet and clutching it to your chest. Wonwoo chuckles, your switches his mood, though a little annoying sometimes he could never live without.

“Is your brain still broken?” He raises a brow, digging his thumb into the back of your neck, making you moan in relief.

“Yes, but only when it comes to writing. As soon as I sit down my brain just goes blank.” You pout, head lolling to the side as you feel the tension disappear underneath his thumb. “I’ve been sitting here for hours, I didn’t even hear my phone ring when you called earlier.” You stop, remembering you mentally told yourself to call back but never did. Curiosity sparks within you and you turn to face him completely. “Why did you call?”

“It’s not important, we gotta fix that broken brain of yours.” He jokes, poking your forehead.

You huff, placing the flowers down next to your laptop and crossing your arms in front of you, “You’re going to have a hard time fixing it because now I want to know why you called. It’s weird for you to call at two in the afternoon. You’re usually with Maya talking about bones.”

Wonwoo shakes his head, putting both his arms around you. “We don’t just talk about bones.” He kisses the tip of your nose cheekily, “And she ditched me for Soonyoung, so I just did half of the lab Professor Kim assigned his students.”

You gasp, hand over mouth. “She’s going to be pissed.”

“We took this TA summer job together. She can’t just ditch me because she wants to have sex.” He states, annoyed. You smile while he scrunches his face up, pushing his glasses up. A habit of his so endearing that you will never get tired of.

“Don’t blame them, they're in love.” You swat your hand over his chest.

Wonwoo rolls his eyes, “So are we but I still follow through with my commitments.”

“Seems like the two of you need couple’s counseling.” You laugh.

“Ha Ha.” He exclaims sarcastically, “Keep talking like that, and I won’t help you fix your brain.” He flicks your forehead gently, making you wince dramatically. “Pipe down my little drama queen, that’s part of your treatment.”

“I don’t like it.” You pout, rubbing your forehead. “Tell me why you called first,” You pause, bringing both of your hands, clasping them in front of you. “Please, please please please please please ple-”

Wonwoo kisses you, short and fast, cutting you off. He pulls away, smiling widely. A flash of genuine excitement runs past his eyes, exciting you in the process. Sometimes it was scary how the two of you could share emotions. You figured it had to do with the whole in-love thing.  

“I got the internship, Genius Labs emailed me today. I officially start next month after I send in my paperwork.” He rushes out, whispering the last part as he eyes you tentatively. Still unsure of what your reaction would be.

Though he shouldn’t be as surprised as he is when that familiar squeal flies out of your mouth and your lips are on him. The kiss is not forceful, but it isn’t the smoothest one you’ve ever given him. Your teeth are clanking against his lips as a joyful giggle escapes you.

Wonwoo sighs out in relief.

Even though he knew this would be your reaction. He feels better witnessing it firsthand.

“Babe, that’s amazing!” You visibly shake, hugging him tightly. “I’m so proud of you.” You laugh and the sound of it makes him swell up with bliss. “See, I told you could do it, bro.”

Wonwoo pushes you away. “Stop calling me bro, it’s weird we kiss, and hug and-” He looks around before leaning in, breathe fanning your ear, “And we fuck.”

“I’m saying it endearingly, it’s the same way as you calling me baby or sexy.”

“I’m not going to get into how wrong you are, but whatever.” He shrugs, looking away. The worry he worked so hard to push away, comes back and quickly he redirects his attention to your balcony window.

You furrow your brows, placing your hand underneath his chin, guiding him to face you. “What’s wrong, we should be celebrating. Why do you look so sad?” You give him a kiss on his cheek, resting your forehead against his.

“It’s downtown, three hours away. I’m going to have to move.” He says sadly, fidgeting with the ends of your hair resting on your back. “To a new place, a new city, and away from all of our friends.” He pauses, “Away from you.”

“Woo,” You sigh, rubbing your thumb over his cheek, “It’s okay, you’ve been working for this for months now. Yeah, we’ll be three hours away but that’s three hours and not a plane ride away. We can make it work.” You nod, pulling him in for a hug, guiding his head to rest awkwardly against your chest.

“And if I get the editor position at Universe Factory Publishing & Co, then we can move in together.” You offer, your chest blooming with hope. God, you really needed this job. Not because you’d be three hours away from Wonwoo, but it was the position you really wanted. At a company, you admired.

It was your dream job. And though, sometimes dream jobs were altered. It didn’t stop you from really wanting it.

“Wait,” He picks up your head. “You’re doing it, you’re finally doing it?” He says excitedly, tightening his hold on you. For months, every time a rejection email or letter came in the mail. He would be there telling you to stop wasting your time and talent on companies that couldn’t see your worth. And for some reason, he had an inkling that your dream company would, so after a small crying session with your face in his arms. He’d repeat to you, the same thought you had and that was to apply.

He was beyond happy that you finally decided to do so. He knew you’d cave one day, and he was happy that it was today.

Two celebrations in one.

“I am, I have nothing else to lose, so I thought why not?” You shrug, “I’ve faced enough rejection letters that if I get rejected from this place it won’t hurt as much.” You say sadly, leaning forward, letting your head fall on top of his chest. Needing his comfort again, now more than ever.

“You won’t, they’ll take you in without hesitation.” He says reassuringly, smoothing his hands down your back.

“They will if my brain stays broken and I can’t write.” You groan, annoyed with yourself.

“Well, you’re putting too much pressure on yourself. Relax and you’ll see that as soon as you do you’ll be a writing machine again.” He finishes, kissing the top of your head lovingly. Smiling, gently when he sees you visibly relax.

“Can you help me?” You look up at him. “I’m thinking too much but at the same time I’m not thinking at all.”

“Yes, we do have two celebrations to get started in. I’m thinking we rewatch the Twilight series, make cookies and then decorate them with the leftover icing tubes we used for Minghao’s birthday cake last month.” He offers, putting a pensive hand over his chin before snapping his fingers in front of him. “And you’re not allowed to look at your laptop or phone once.”

“Bu-”

“Ah-Ah,” He cuts you off, placing his finger in front of your lips, shushing you. “No but’s, tonight we relax, you can even put those gunky face masks on me.” He smiles, closing the distance and kissing your lips lightly, “Go get our matching pajamas, the ones with the cats on them.” He taps your hip twice, signaling for you to get up. “I’ll put the flowers in water and get the ingredients for the cookies ready.”

You huff, standing up, silently protesting, which makes Wonwoo laugh loudly. “I created a monster.” You cross your arms in front of you, “Don’t forget to take out all the pots and pans I have inside the oven before you preheat it.” You scold.

Last time he forgot, it had your place smelling like burnt metal for a day. Thankfully nothing had caught on fire, despite the fire alarm going off. But it was not an experience you wanted to re-live. The look of utter disappointment the firefighters had when they came out carrying one of your pots as proof after the entire building had been evacuated, was one you never wanted to witness ever again.

“Oh, thanks for reminding me, babe.” He clicks his tongue, standing up, holding the bouquet of roses in front of him. Cheekily smiling as he did a recount of the flowers. Nine in total.

Eternal love for you and you only.

You nod, rounding the table, and walk to the hallway leading up to the rooms. Before disappearing, Wonwoo calls out your name, making you stop to turn and face him. “Yes, love.”

“Peaches, I’m proud of you.”

Month 5: Moving in Together

“I can’t believe you’re leaving us.” Jeonghan grumbles, setting down his beer on top of your coffee table. The only surviving piece of furniture or item that has not been packed up inside a moving truck or a cardboard box.

It was bittersweet, the decision to not take it with you had been harder than you expected. Somehow you had gotten attached to the old thing that Wonwoo found for you at a garage sale almost four years ago, but you did. In your defense it held a lot of memories, etched into the aging wood. From the sweat rings that your drinks left behind before you started using coasters. To the little pen marks you had accidentally made when thinking. Each one held a significant story, to you, to the previous owners and whoever will get the table after you.

“I’m moving three hours away, you guys can come visit me or I can come visit you guys.” You roll your eyes, running the tape roll over the slit of the box you had finished packing. This one held kitchenware. You had spent too much money on them to not take them with you. “Wonwoo’s literally been doing that for the last three weeks.”

“Yeah, but I don’t like him as much as I like you.” Jeonghan shrugs, crossing his arms in front of him. “I’m going to miss you so much.” He whispers, putting his feet up on your coffee table. The last time it will ever receive such malicious treatment. In a way it made your heart drop.

Why the hell were you so attached to a coffee table? One that had been fading from years of overuse. It had a few initials of the previous owners carved into one of the legs. An innocent ‘J’ t ‘M’ equals ‘N’ with a wobbly heart encasing the sweet eternal promise.  

The night you noticed it Wonwoo was with you. Together you concluded that the J stood for James the M for Mei and the N for Naomi, obviously the product of their eternal love. It was a story the two of you made up on the spot instead of watching the Digimon reruns they had on that day. Neither of you cared much for it but it was better than anything the tv was offering.

Now the little family the two of you had created would soon be out of your life and you weren’t sure how to feel about it. For all you knew they didn’t exist, but it was Wonwoo’s house warming gift to you and you suppose that’s why you were having such a hard time parting with it.

But Wonwoo had gone ahead and bought a new coffee table when he moved at the end of last month. And truthfully you didn’t have to take much with you, except for everything you had. In all honesty, you had not wanted to visit Wonwoo once while he was away, you already knew what the apartment looked like because you had picked out with him. A gruesome week of apartment hunting you wanted to forget. Either way he had taken literally nothing with him, sold all his furniture in a garage sale. Except of course his gaming setup and was sleeping on a blow up mattress for a little over four weeks.

He claimed he didn’t need to take anything with him if you were going to end up joining him anyway, so you could take your stuff to him. He liked it much better than his anyway. Which then you would remind him that you were still in the interview process with Universe Factory Publishing & Co and that you weren’t sure if they would even accept you in the end. Only to have him shut you down, telling you that you had the position in the bag.

And you did. They had sent you your congratulatory email last week, during your nightly facetime call with Wonwoo. Both of you ended up crying with pure joy and immediately you were making plans to finally move out to your new home with him.

It was a day away, you still had so much to pack. The movers had already taken your big pieces of furniture and a lot more boxes. The only thing you had left was your suitcase of clothes that didn’t make it onto the truck and four boxes of miscellaneous items. One of those being your kitchenware. Forgetting them or giving them away was not an option.

You cut the last of the tape, securing the enclosure and place down the  roll on top of the box before  making your way to Jeonghan. All of your friends had come over to help you pack. Each of them bursting into tears, as they left to continue about their day. Except for Maya who had done a week's worth of crying to you alone. Even though she and Soonyoung were taking a gap year together to volunteer at animal sanctuaries around the world. She still was going to miss you more than anything in the world.

They were more dramatic than you.

“Hannie, nothing’s going to change. You guys are all still my family.” You sit down next to him on the floor. Groaning as you hope your too expensive and too uncomfortable couch was going to make it to Wonwoo safe and sound. “I think parting from you guys forever will literally be impossible, you’re Baby Bean’s Godfather.”

Jeonghan sits up, eyes wide. “Wait, you're pregnant?” He asks, confused, excited and a little scared. It makes you laugh loudly, head thrown back as the panic starts to rush through him. “This is serious, stop fucking with me are you pregnant?” And you laugh even harder, to the point your abs start to hurt.

He groans, placing both of his hands on your shoulders shaking you. “Tell me you’re joking, it’s too soon, does Wonwoo know? Does your mom know? Fuck I have to tell Shua and Cheol and they’re one hundred precent going to beat Wonwoo up.”

You place your hand over your stomach and take a few deep breaths, loud bows of laughter turning into giggles. “No I’m not pregnant, Wonwoo adopted  a cat to keep Lilac company while we’re gone to work.” You bite your lip to keep yourself from laughing, “Her name is Baby Bean, because she’s so little and has a bean shaped birthmark on her forehead.”

Jeonghan scoffs, pushing you away making you fall back onto your carpeted floor. “Fuck you, I literally saw my life flash before my eyes.” He stands up, taking his empty beer bottle with him. “Find someone else to drive you three hours away tomorrow.” He grumbles, walking over to the bag of trash and chucking the bottle inside. “I swear, I saw myself babysitting and let me tell you it was hell.” He points out, hands on his hips like a mother scolding their child.

“Trust me Hannie, Wonwoo and I won’t get pregnant for another three years.” You smile, pulling your knees up to your chest. “Not only do we use protection all the time but he also pulls out when he doesn’t. Also I have my implant that lasts me up to three years. So you're good, buttercup.” You wink, sending him a pair of finger guns, making him roll his eyes.

“Good, do me a favor then.” He sighs, walking over and sitting down next to you. “Get another after three years, I can’t handle a kid yet.”

“You’re so annoying, you aren’t going to be the father.”

“I don’t care, kids scare me,” He whines, “And if the kid is yours and Wonwoo’s then he’s going to be a monster.” He pouts, kicking his feet in front of him.

“Fine, I’m revoking your Godfather title, I will start sending out applications tomorrow.” You shrug.

Quickly, he sits up and places both of his hands on top of your cheeks, squishing them together. A panicked look on his face. “Now come on I didn’t say I didn’t want to be it’s Godfather, I’m just saying they’re scary.”

“Yeah, we’ll see about that.” You blow out a raspberry making him cringe.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“We’ll see.” You wink, cheekily. A secret you’ve kept from him threatening to spill it. But it wasn’t yours to tell and if Joshua had confided in you then you were going to keep it until he was the one to tell his boyfriends. Yet, you couldn’t wait.

“I’m exhausted.” You pout, throwing yourself on top of your couch in your new apartment.

A full day of unloading furniture and unpacking was weighing heavily on your body and you were ready to call it a night. Wonwoo laughs, from the front door. He was saying his final goodbye and thank you’s to Jeonghan and Minghao. Who had stayed after driving you over to help.

It took a few hugs, bribing them with free food to get them to stay past five though. And it was now midnight. Their bodies, coated with equal amounts of exhaustion as your own. It didn’t help that it was nearing midnight and they still had a three hour drive left. You felt bad, even tried to convince them to stay the night, but they refused. Rejecting all your offers, with a cocky we’re leaving princess from Jeonghan and a knowing wink towards Wonwoo from Minghao.

You swear, their heads lived in the gutter.

Wonwoo laughs at something Jeonghan says before shutting the door. He shakes his head and walks back to you, hands stuffed deep in the pocket of his old ripped jeans. “First night in our first home together.” He smiles and stands in front of you, extending his arms out for you to take. “Let’s go break in our new bed.” He says, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

“It’s not new, it's literally my old one.” You bite back, grabbing onto his hands, letting him pull you up. Once you’re upright he wraps his arms around your waist, pecking your lips.

“The frame isn’t new, but the mattress is. I literally unpacked it today with Minghao and it was a bitch to carry.” He groans, bringing his hand up to the back of his shoulders, rubbing at his sore muscles.

“You just want me to give you a massage so it can lead to us having sex.” You roll your eyes and poke his nose gently. He huffs in defeat, letting his arm fall down to his side. A light cherry colored blush appears on the apple of his cheeks. You smirk.

Caught, red handed.

You pull away from his arms, side step him and start making your way to your new bedroom. “Don’t stand there, I didn’t say no.” You say, bringing your shirt up to reveal your black lace bralette. “But first you need to give me a massage to earn yours.” You finish, turning around and throwing your shirt at him.

Wonwoo stutters, smiling big as he jumps. Literally jumps over the coffee table full of stuff that still hasn't found their place. “My love, I don’t care. I plan on loving you all night long, only minimal breaks allowed.” He tuts, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind. His lips find the nape of your neck, leaving open mouthed kisses all over it as he guides you to your room.

“I love the idea.” You move your neck to the side, to give him more room. He hums, running his tongue over your sweet spot and you have to fight the moan that forms in the back of your throat from coming out. “But I want to finish unpacking tomorrow.”

“It can wait, the world won’t end.” He mumbles against your skin, biting down gently when he reaches the skin around your collarbone. Grinning happily when the beautiful sound he had been trying to coax out of you escapes you.

“We can fuck in every room as we unpack tomorrow.” You deadpan, making him stop his movements. He disconnects his lips from your skin and stands up straight. He grabs a hold of your shoulders and turns you around to meet the smugness painted all over your face. He licks his lips, lets his hands travel down your back until they reach your ass, squeezing it tightly. Pulling you in so his growing cock was pressed up against you.

“I like your idea better. I’ll only love you for half the night and then we can pick it up again tomorrow.” He nods, walking you a few steps back before reaching the door to your bedroom. “I’m dying to fuck you against our balcony window, want everyone to see how good you are for me.” He pushes the door open, making it hit the wall. You send a scold his way, the lecture dying at the tip of your tongue when he kisses you hard.

It’s short, but it leaves you breathless when he pulls away. Similar to all the other kisses the two of you share. You begin to think that that was never going to go away no matter how old the two of you get. The spark between the two of you had been dormant that the possibility of it ever going out was nonexistent.

“Are you going to be a good girl and let me do that?” He tilts his head, swiping his tongue over his lower lips, his thumb caressing your cheek, keeping you in place. You moan.

“Yes sir, please fuck me.”

Month 6: Last Cam Show Ever

“Are you sure?” Wonwoo bites his lip, his cock straining in his slacks as he types in the familiar website he had retired from nearly seven months ago.

Pledisboys.com

“Mhm, one last show and we leave it behind.” You whisper, wrapping your arms around his neck, leaning forward, lips above the shell of his ear. “And I think we deserve to have at least one sex tape, can we save it after we’re done?” You poke out your tongue, licking the back of his ear, humming when you feel his breath get caught in the back of his throat.

“No, but we can just make a better one later, just for us.” He nods, clicking around the website. Ignoring all the spam messages he was getting from his avid viewers, wondering where he was or begging him to return. It was expected. He did disappear without a word after the incident with you. And he did think about trying again after the two of you had resolved everything but guilt would seep in whenever he thought about going live again. Despite what you had shown on screen he knew how comfortable you had felt. So, he decided against it and logged out of the account forever.

Forever, that was his plan. Until earlier today after eating you out for the fifth time. One orgasm for each day of the week he hadn’t been able to give you one due to his busy schedule. In your post orgasm daze you had a mischievous glint behind your eyes. A look Wonwoo had quickly come to realize was the product of either one of your awesome ideas or one of your worst ideas.

At first he wasn’t sure. Every worst possible case quickly resurfaced as he pictured himself pressing the red live button again. But there is one thing Wonwoo could never say no to and that was your mouth around his dick, and well pretty much everything you did; sexual or not. So, he caved. Set the same ground rules as before, with the exception of number five.

5. Catching feeling’s = big no, everything =  platonic.

Nothing between you and Wonwoo was platonic. Possibly ever.

The two of you got ready. You in one of his old shirts. Minus your panties - you hadn’t been wearing those since you walked in through the front door earlier after running a few errands; and Wonwoo in nothing but the slacks he had worn to work earlier.

“Do you have everything you need?” He chews on his bottom lip. Nervous and scared beyond belief.

Reminding him of how he felt before his first cam show ever. Finally understanding how you had felt before yours. 

“Yup.” You pop the ‘p’ rounding the side of his desk chair and sitting right in his lap, legs crossed with your arms around his neck. “I thought about getting the vibrator we use sometimes but simple is better and I just want to touch myself for you.” You smile, pecking his lips so sweetly. The action doesn’t match the lewd words you had just said. 

“Okay, let’s get this show on the road then.” He winks, leaning forward, checking to see if the camera was positioned properly, so nothing above your lips was in frame. He checked it at least five times already, but a sixth time wouldn’t hurt.

His paranoia was really getting the best of him tonight. But in his defense this wasn’t how he planned his night to play out. So, he had every right to feel paranoid, especially when he wasn’t sure what reaction the two of you were going to encounter tonight. 

With a sigh, he hums satisfied and sits back. His arm wrapped around you so tightly, fingers digging into the fabric of his shirt as he hovers the mouse above the red button of doom. He can feel how excited you are, literally vibrating against his lap. He has half a mind to try to convince you otherwise, to think about it a little bit more. Even though he knew that you wouldn’t have suggested it in the first place if you hadn’t thought about it thoroughly. He trusts you and your decisions, aware that this was probably something you needed to do. Something he needed to do in order to fully close that chapter that he had kept open for far too long. 

He clicks ‘go live.’

“Welcome to Woo’s game room, I hope you’re all ready to play with me and my angel one last time tonight.” He smiles, his thumb rubbing circles over your bare thigh, reassuring you. “I suppose you guys know what to do. We’ve only been gone for seven months. But just in case you all forgot the rule. I’ll repeat myself, we won’t start until we reach our donation goal.” He shifts, spreading his legs, sending you a wink in the process.

Fuck.

gyuishard: OH!! OH, OH,.,.I LITERALLY DROPPED EVERYTHING AS SOON AS I GOT THE NOTIFCIATION!@111! gyuishard donated 300 coins Gam3boivern18: I MISSED YOU GUYS SO MUCH, MY LIFE WAS MEANINGLESS WITHOUT YOU! Gam3boivern18 donated 100 coins Dom.han: wtf I’ve been calling you, it's a 911 EMERGENCY!!!!! Cherrycheol69: ^^^ no it’s not, stop pouting and help me out with dinner. Notdino: WAIT YOU GUYS KNOW EACH OTHER’S THAT’S NOT FUCKING FAIR >:| Princejisoo: ^^^ deal with it. NOW CAN MY BOYFRIENDS PLS GET OFF SO WE CAN FINISH DINNER, MAYA AND SOOYOUNG ARE GOING TO BE HERE IN TWENTY!!!! Cherrycheol69: yes baby! Have fun guys, love you! <3 Cherrycheol69 donated 100 coins Dom.han: fine :( I love you guys be careful <3 Dom.han donated 200 coins The8: our friends are weird! wtf

“I agree,” You laugh, reading over the comments, shaking your head at their antics. Jeonghan was probably calling you to complain about how new waitress they just hired was more incompetent than you when it came to waitressing. You giggle at the thought of it, making Wonwoo’s grip your waist a bit tighter than before.

He hadn’t said anything since his first statement, chewing on his bottom lip as the donation number got closer to the goal. It was rising up fast. Faster than you had ever seen it go up. But you figured it had to do with Wonwoo’s return. The site's Golden Boy. The one who had the top stream every week for the past three years. His sudden disappearance had caused utter turmoil, disturbed the peace if you will.

He was worried.

“We can stop if you want?” You whisper, placing both palms of your hands against his cheeks. “We don’t need this to make each other feel good.” You smile, nodding your head before placing a soft kiss against his lips.

He grins, “I know, our sex life is already amazing.” He mumbles against you, swiping his tongue over your bottom lip, “But I want to do this one last time to finally end it all.” He says, reassuring himself more than you.

You make a noise of acknowledgement, “Then let’s start.” You kiss him again, this time with more intention, catching him off guard at first. Not expecting you to make the first move. Not that you ever did but every time the two of you had gone live together. A whole two times, he was usually the one making the first move, not you. It excites him even further.

He moves his lips slowly but with force, and you can still taste the remnants of your five other orgasms against them, tangy and a little bit unpleasant. To Wonwoo it tasted exactly like candy, he could never get enough of you. Somedays all he needed was to be in between your legs, making you come for him to be satisfied.

He pulls away, running his tongue over your lips a few times before sitting back. Change of plans, he wants to fuck you. “Straddle my lap.” He says tapping your hip a few times. “Want you to ride me.” You give him an odd look as he starts to unbutton his slacks, regretting not taking them off earlier. But he had been so immersed in your body and your pleasure that he had forgotten how truly horny he was. Only now to be reminded of it, while millions of people were watching.

He was going to miss that feeling. The swell in his chest when people told him how hot he looked with his hand wrapped around his cock. How hard he would orgasm whenever someone praised him. He wasn’t going to miss it.

But he didn’t need that anymore, nor did he need the money. His life was finally looking up, working at his dream job, living in a beautiful apartment that overlooked the city and you to come home too. Also, recently the two of you had started exploring each other’s kinks a bit more and it was the best added bonus of being with you.

“But I thought we we-” You get cut off with a gasp as Wonwoo’s hand comes down against your thigh, slapping you hard. It sends a rush of heat down in between your legs. You can hear the chat pings come in faster, your senses double crossing you as you quickly stand up.

Wonwoo pulls down his slacks, along with his underwear, his cock standing long and hard against his abdomen. It stops just above his belly button where the silver ball of his piercing used to reside. He had taken it out two months after graduation, resulting in you mourning the loss of it in silence.

You were still mourning.

“Come on my love, you came five times today.” He extends his hand out splayed out, displaying all five of his fingers. “It’s time for my reward.” He smirks, wrapping his arms around your waist and reeling you, lifting your shirt up in the process to reveal your bare ass to the camera.

“Woo I’m not th-”

You’re cut off by another slap. It lands firmly against your ass, making you gasp. His eyes are furrowed, testing you. “That’s not my name, my love.”  

“Sorry, daddy.” You swallow.

sexcaliber: holyshit did she just call him daddy. sexcaliber donated 200 coins Gam3boivern18: shit, I didn’t know I had a daddy kink until now my dick just twitched. gyuishard: same but I literally came gyuishard donated 400 coins gyuishard: take all my money I don’t care, pls say it again.

“Come on my love, everyone wants to see how good daddy fucks you.” He smirks, wrapping his hand around his cock, spreading the pre cum around his angry head. He looked so pretty. Good enough to eat and you have to bite your lip to keep yourself from begging him to fuck your mouth.

It would be to much of a risk, fuck.

You nod, straddling his lap the best you could, aligning yourself up with him. His gaming chair wasn’t the ideal place. And even though it wasn’t your first time riding him while he sat on it. The first month of you living together, the two of you had practically fucked in every room on every surface level whenever you could. Often times you would secretly ride him while he gamed with Seungcheol and Jungkook. But though, you weren’t a stranger to the act itself, it still wasn’t your favorite and by far the most uncomfortable place to have sex in.

Still you start to sink down slowly, both of you moaning simultaneously. You were so wet from all the orgasms he had pulled out of you earlier that he slipped right in. “You’re still so wet baby.” He breathes, bottoming out instantly.. He brings your shirt over your head and throws it to the side. “Let them see how fucking wet you are for me.” He growls, placing both of his hands on top of your ass cheeks and spreading them for the camera.

“You make me wet daddy.” You whisper, clenching around him, moaning when his cock twitches inside of you. He hums, giving both of your cheeks a slap before wrapping his arms around your waist, using your body to position himself better, so that you feel the head of his cock poking your g-spot.

You’re in heaven.

“That’s right, want to tell them how many orgasms you already had today?” He hums, rolling his hips, testing the waters to see if he can move yet.

“Five,” You pant, licking your lips, eyes locked on his “Daddy made me cum five times.” You whimper, digging your nails into his shoulder blades, resting your forehead against his. “I want more.” You say, closing your eyes in delight. His hips canting up, hitting your g-spot whenever he could. Sending blissful waves of pleasure through you. If you weren’t so sensitive you would’ve been able to hold out a bit longer, but you were already starting to feel the pressure build itself up in the pit of your stomach.

“My angel is always greedy for my cock.” He grunts, closing his hand around your throat gently, while the other tries its best to guide you down onto his cock. He wishes he could save the stream to then watch it over and over and over until he’s run out of cum. But that just makes the idea of making a sex tape with you even more appealing.  

“Kiss me baby.” He moans, guiding your face to his lips. He doesn’t waste any time. Kisses you with so much hunger, swallowing your cute little whines of pleasure, while he fucks into you. In all honesty he could care less about his own pleasure, seeing you come undone around him was euphoric. You always got so much tighter through your orgasm, your pussy sucking him in, refusing to let him go.

It was impossible to pull out sometimes. Actually, it was impossible to pull out all the time. He basked in your heat. Loved the feeling of your soft velvety walls around him. It was everything to him. You were everything to him.

“Close,” You gasp, bucking your own hips, meeting him halfway. Wonwoo’s hands run down your back so your chest is against his. You bury your face into the crock of his neck as he plants his feet down on the ground, using it has leverage to fuck into you hard and fast.

“Oh, fuck, baby cum around my cock, daddy needs to pull out.” He pants, nails digging into your back. By now you're panting, trying to catch your breath as your orgasm threatens to break through. It’s all too much, too overwhelming and you feel it rip through your body like a tsunami wave, making your toes curl, gushing down your legs, pushing Wonwoo’s cock out from the impact. Your chest bows off his, arching your back riding out your orgasm, lifting your hips up, moaning loudly for him.

He watches you, cursing, taking a hold of his cock, tugging on it hard, rubbing it over wet pussy lips fast, chasing his own orgasm. You grab a hold of his bicep, grinding yourself on him, “Daddy’s going to cum, you want that?” He moans, tugging harder on his cock.

“Mhmm, on my pussy please.” You hum, grabbing a hold of it, pressing it against your wet lips moving your hips fast, twitching at the overstimulation. He chuckles, giving himself one last tug before spilling himself on you. Hot ropes of cum, covering your stomach and pussy it makes his mouth water,

“So pretty, want to show the camera?” He mumbles, against your cheek. You whine, holding him close, shaking your head.

“Only for you.” You whisper, hiding your face in his neck.

He chuckles. “Alright let me turn the stream off so I can clean you up.” He kisses the crown of your head leaning forward, taking a hold of his mouse.

BOOtang16: holy shit, that’s the best thing I’ve ever witnessed Not.Dino donated 100 coins sexcaliber: fuck, I’m- Gam3boivern18: I’m nEVER GOING TO BE THE SAME AFTER THIS gyuishard: pls adopt me, I want to join<3 gyuishard donated 200 coins Sextigerhosh56: YO WTF DID I JUST WITNESS I THOUGHT I WAS COMING OVER FOR DINNER Sextigerhosh56: ITS MAYA BTW, CHEOL, SHUA AND HANNIE WERE WATCHING THIS ON THE BIG SCREEN LIKE IT WAS PRIME TIME TV WHEN WE ARRIVED Sextigerhosh56: THEY’RE STILL COOKING Sextigerhosh56: wtf WONWOO A DADDY KINK Cherrycheol69: HEY! COME HELP SET THE TABLE Sextigerhosh56: g2g dad’s yelling again :( Babes call me when you can. Dom.han: call ME first though. Gam3boivern18: I have no idea what’s going on in the chat tonight but I’m not complaining. I’m not only getting good jerking content but a sitcom too. Gam3boivern18 donated 300 coins

Wonwoo shakes his head. As much as he was going to miss streaming, and all of his loyal viewers. He was finally ready to move on. “I hope you guys enjoyed that. This account will be gone by tomorrow. I’m grateful for how supportive you’ve all been these past three years, but I’m ready for the next chapter of my life and with my beautiful girlfriend, who I think has fallen asleep on me.” He smiles, your loving eyes hidden behind your eyelids.

“Thank you for coming to Woo’s game room and playing with me one last time.”

He moves the mouse over the red button and ends the steam, instantly the red dot stops blinking. He sighs, throwing himself back in his chair. For the first time in three years he feels genuinely happy and he wouldn’t trade that feeling for anything else in the world.

“Stay laying down.”

You let out a whine, sending him a glare. “I’m thirsty, I want water.”

“Then I’ll go get it for you.” He retaliates, taking his arm away from your body, planting a loud kiss against your cheek, making you huff in annoyance. “I’ll be back, don't get up, you need to regain your energy.” He scolds, getting up.

“I do have my energy. It came back after we took a nap.” You sigh, pulling the sheets up to your neck. Aftercare Wonwoo was one of your favorite Wonwoo’s. He made sure he had everything you needed, water, kisses, pancakes, boba...love. You name it, he would give it to you. Go out of his way to reassure you that with him you’d always be safe and cared for.

Today, he had run you a warm bath, with those bath bombs he absolutely despised. They always left the bathtub stained and filled with glitter. It had clogged the drain last week and the two of you had gotten into a small argument about you overusing your bath privileges. The shower was nice and spacious. It even had that waterfall shower head you had spent two days obsessing over when you had first seen it during the open house. So, he couldn’t quite understand why you chose to take baths instead of showers. Whatever the reason was, the two of you had come down to a compromise.

Baths, once a week on Wednesdays = together.  

Today though, he was overriding that rule. He knew he had over exerted your body, so he drew you a nice warm bath, with non scented candles, a bath bomb and even added the stress relieving bath salt that smelled like green tea and eucalyptus.

“You need more energy.” He sticks his tongue out at you playfully, “You officially start your new job on Monday.” He points out before walking out of the room, naked.

Ever since you moved in together, the two of you had started learning more things about each other. Like how Wonwoo either lived naked or covered from head to toe. There was no in between. The first time you had witnessed it was on a Tuesday after he got out of work. The second he had walked through the front door he was taking off his clothes, draping them over the couch. Without a word he sat next to you, cuddled you naked while you tried to make sense of what you had just witnessed.

He was laughing about it for days.

It was crazy how far the two of you had come. From sitting next to each other in Ms.Sunshine's kindergarten class, and sharing your sixty four pack of crayons with him. Him breaking the shitty sharpener on the back of the box was the best thing he could have ever done.

Who knows what would’ve happened if he hadn’t accidentally gotten the purple crayon stuck. The two of you would’ve probably never become inseparable. Surely would’ve never done live porn together or fallen in love.

A small analogy for a story that either of you still had trouble understanding.

All that you knew was that it was one whole big cliche. The usuals ones you would hear about in those cheesy coming of age 80’s movies. But you wouldn’t have it any other way. You were happy. So happy that you could burst into tears and laughter. Wonwoo was your everything and you were his.

The two of you belonged together or not at all.

Humming, Wonwoo walks back in with a glass of cold water and the Mango sherbet he sneakily bought at the grocery store on Monday. “You okay, you look like someone stuck a push pin into your big toe.” He says, handing you the glass of water.

You grab it, “That’s the weirdest analogy I’ve ever heard.” You say before taking a drink of your water. He sits down on his side of the bed, scooting closer to you. “I was just thinking.” You nod, reaching over to your bedside table, placing the glass on top of the coaster.

He hands you a spoon and opens the lid of the mango sherbet, half of it already gone. You knew he had been sneaking in bites every chance you got. “About what?” He tilts his, licking his spoon first before digging it into the sorbet. “If it’s about work, don’t worry I know you’ll do amazing. Blow them out of the water with your amazing editing skills.” He winks.

You roll your eyes, Monday was two days away and Wonwoo had already begun his famous pep talks.

You were insanely lucky to have him.

“It’s not that, I wasn’t going to start worrying about that until Sunday night right before bed.” You joke, digging your spoon into the sugary mango sweetness. “I was just thinking about how much I love you.”

Wonwoo nods, taking the spoon out of his mouth and swallowing. “That’s crazy cause I never stop.”

You shake your head, letting go of the spoon, wincing as it clanks to the side of the plastic carton. “You’re so annoying.” You say, getting up on your knees and hugging him. “But I love you so much that I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Wonwoo chuckles, placing the container to the side, hugging you back. “That’s great cause you will never be without me.” He turns his face, kissing your temple and then your cheek. “Unfortunately if you don’t know this by now. If that ring on your pretty little finger doesn’t remind you every day. I will.” He pulls away, placing both of his hands on top of your cheeks, rubbing his thumbs underneath your eyelids. “I am never going to go anywhere.”

“I love you Wonwoo.”

“I love you too, my little mango sherbet.” He says rubbing his nose against yours.

You roll your eyes, “I’m taking it back.”

“Too bad, the rules say you can’t.”

[samwpmarleau]

tyler lockwood

2. When I think I truly started to like them (or dislike them, if you’ve sent me a character I don’t like)

I watched TVD initially when it was first airing forever ago, but IIRC I started liking him around the time the show meant us to — when we watched him learn about the werewolf thing. And that was that 🥰

3. A song that reminds me of them

Honestly, the show hit it on the mark when they chose Matthew West’s “Family Tree.” At least, until they ruined it for no reason at all. I also like “I Will Survive,” by Stephanie Bentley.

4. How many people I ship them with

Other than Caroline, I like the idea of Bonnie. They both deserved better, and I think they could’ve been good together, especially once he lost his hybrid status and became mortal again so he wouldn’t have to outlive her.

5. My favorite ship of them

Caroline 😭 Though the person she became later on was totally unworthy of him. You know and share my thoughts on this lmao

6. My least favorite ship of them

I’ll say Liv simply because the first time around I stopped watching mid-season 4 and on rewatch I couldn’t get past mid-season 5 so I didn’t really see them together. Or Vicki because he was very shitty to her.

7. A quote of them that you remember

He has a lot of good ones! One in particular I remember and like is shortly before he goes through his first transformation where he says he’s scared. The narrative had presented him sympathetically before that, but I think that really showed he was no longer a douchebag jock, but rather a 16-year-old kid facing a truly horrifying experience. For him to not only admit he was scared, but admit it to Caroline then break down was so sad.

12. Sexuality hc!

Oh gosh, idk. Haven’t really thought about it, honestly, and could see it going a few different ways. I’ll go bi (with a preference for women), because those scenes with Jeremy in early season 2 had vibes 👀 Definitely open to other interpretations, though!

13. Your favorite friendship they have

No one was really his friend :((( Matt at least cared when he died, though, so Matt.

14/15. Best/worst storyline they had

His werewolf one was the best, by far. Worst was DEATH.

21/22. When do you think they were at their happiest/lowest?

Happiest was probably the summer between the season 2 finale and through 3x01. He was so light and his relationship with Caroline was in my opinion at its closest and most wholesome. His lowest moment ... do I have to say it? Early-mid season 5.

23. Future headcanon

I DON’T CARE HOW, BUT SOMEHOW HE GETS RESURRECTED. And then proceeds to live his best life and Caroline comes back with an adequate apology and they live happily ever after.

26. When do you think they were being “themselves” the most?

His softest moments. That softness really is at the core of his character: He has such a big heart and — as he says himself — he doesn’t want to be the guy he was at the beginning of the series, the guy his father shaped him into. He shines in season 2 and beyond when he can unashamedly be a mama’s boy, sweet and lovey with Caroline, and (for better or worse) do anything for the people he cares about.

28. The most unnecessary thing they ever did?

This was the show’s fault, not the character’s, but I hated that he was made to leave so many times. That said, the first time he left I’d say was the most unnecessary because unlike later when his absences were caused by Klaus, this one was his decision. I can understand why he did it, and I’m glad he was able to learn the ropes with people who knew first-hand what he was going through, but I felt there was a better, less isolating way to go about it.

29. How do you think they would be as a parent? (And if they are a parent, how do you think they would be if they weren’t?)

HE WOULD BE SO GOOD. Between the natural kindness he has in him I mentioned from #26, he also would want to be absolutely nothing like his own father. I’m sure he would be insecure af about it, but he would be great and it’s a travesty he’ll never get to experience it.

———

send me a character and some numbers! [x]

[superhero--imagines]

Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here! / Part 5 Here! / Part 6 Here! / Part 7 Here! / Part 8 Here! / Part 9 Here! / Part 10 Here! / Part 11 Here! / Part 12 Here! / Part 13 Here! / Part 14 Here!

Donate to Higher Ground HERE!

* “Everyone in school thought you were dead.”

* Jessica says bluntly as you walk down the pink streamer filled hallway

* you offer her a fake yawn and a smile.

* “My dad came by for a surprise visit.” She looks confused before her expression smooths

* “Oh your real dad, not Carlisle”

* Carlisle contacted his counterpart, Eleazer to tell him you were running away with a man 300 years your senior

* So of course Eleazer came running -after he probably had a spat with Carmen about who would handle this situation better- to Forks on the first flight he found

* Only to burst through the door to see you and Emmett playing kingdom hearts in the living room

* “Oh, I see the rumors have been vastly exaggerated.”

* Cue -figuratively- sweating Carlisle who takes a sip from his mug

* Since he was already here you figured you would take a few days off from school and show him around

* “Is there anything in particular you might want to see?”

* Edward and Carlisle are looking pretty smug thinking that they’ve already shown you everything of note in the area.

* “I’ve always wanted to see the space needle in Seattle.”

* They both falter when they hear that. All the things they’ve shown you are things humans wouldn’t be able to see, hidden meadows, waterfalls, underwater caverns

* They never thought to show you human landmarks. Eleazer nods a growing smile on his face

* “Seattle has a lot of museums that I’ve wanted to visit as well”

* Carlisle let’s out a sigh of relief, none of his kids would be caught dead at a museum outside of a field trip

* To their dismay and Eleazer’s delight your eyes sparkle

* “Can we go to the pop culture museum and the arboretum too?”

* You don’t even pack, Eleazer tells you you can just buy whatever you need when you get there. You do take a duffel bag full of blood bags though

* And then you’re gone, you leave care instructions for your animals with Edward and you and Eleazer drive off towards Seattle in the rented Mercedes he got at the airport

* “Is it just me... or do they look happier with Eleazer than they are with us.” Edward’s only talking to himself, but Carlisle hears and the oncoming doting parent verbal and mental sputter makes him regret saying anything at all

* “it’s okay Carlisle, I’m sure they’re happy here with us too.”

* You guys stay at a pretty upscale hotel downtown, in the penthouse

* “Are you here on a trip with your boyfriend?” The receptionist asks, and Eleazar straight up starts laughing

* “This is my dad.” You say with a straight face and you can tell the receptionist wants to die

* “I-I’m so sorry, we usually get couples this time of year.” Right, it’s almost Valentine’s Day. Makes sense.

* Still there’s something super gross about people thinking you’re romantically linked to Eleazer

* The penthouse is very nice. There’s an infinity pool on your balcony, and three different bedrooms.

* The trip is really fun, you have a -pretend- meal at the revolving restraint at the needle, and spend the rest of the week museum hopping

* “She feels so familiar....” you mumble to yourself as you gaze at a portrait of a woman with long dark hair

* “That’s Carmen” Eleazer tells you

* “What?!?”

* “She was popular with artists even before she turned, it’s always been a hobby of hers to model” You’re just glad it’s not a nude portrait

* You take super cheesy pictures at the natural history museum, and even better pics at the pop culture museum

* On one of your last nights in the city Eleazer took you to a laundromat

* “I know we’ve been running out of clothes, but I’m sure the hotel has a laundry service”

* Eleazer just grins, talking to the attendant, who takes him to a hidden door.

* Well this isn’t sketchy at all

* Eleazer takes your hand in his as he leads you down a long narrow hallway. When you teach the end there’s a pretty nice bar and what appears to be a jazz club

* “It’s a speakeasy, I thought it might be a little fun for our last day”

* Being beautiful has its perks because the waiter doesn’t even card you, just brings you your dink

* “So...Garrett huh?” You groan, and Eleazer smiles

* You knew this was coming

* “Don’t worry, I’m not like Carlisle, if you like someone I like them too.”

* Well at least he isn’t acting like a total freak about the whole thing

* “I am surprised someone like Garrett is more your flavor though” you raise an eyebrow.

* “In comparison to who?” Eleazer gives you a funny look

* “Edward of course”

* You almost spit out your drink

* “Oh, is this one of those situations where the three of you are a couple together?”

* You start coughing and the waiter brings you a glass of water

* “We’re not together!”

* “Well of course you and Garrett aren’t together yet-“

* “Edward and I aren’t dating.”

* Eleazer just looks at you like you told him you’re pregnant

* “That can’t be right” he mumbles and you sigh

* “Why would you think we were dating?” The jazz singer belts out a high note and Eleazer patiently waits for her to be done so he can talk again

* “Well you went with them to Forks, and when you came to visit last year with him we all just figured it had happened naturally”

* Besides, Eleazer see’s the way he looks at you.

* Like you’re the epitome of your gender, like there’s never been anyone like you and there never will be again

* “We all? The entire coven thinks that?” Your fingers thread through your hair.

* What does Tanya think about that? She must be feeling pretty smug what with that talk she gave you all those years ago about how you would eventually date Edward

* Edward probably knows and just doesn’t even care, the criminal probably thinks it’s funny

* Eleazar watches you have a breakdown, taking a small sip of his brandy. It looks like you haven’t realized the way you look at Edward yet

* You look at him like you don’t have a single doubt. You trust him unconditionally, you know exactly who he is and where he will be.

* You look at him like he’s home

* “This is so embarrassing” you mumble and Eleazer smiles

* He guesses it’s not time yet for you to realize your feelings. Maybe it’s for the best, he’s not as bad as Carlisle, but the thought of giving you away at your wedding makes his heart ache.

* “The best cure for embarrassment is alcohol, drink up.” He grins when you clink your glass against his before gulping down the contents of your drink.

* Who knows, maybe in a few years someone completely different will show up and sweep you off your feet.

* You do talk about something really important with Eleazer though

* “Eleazer when do you think Aro will send for me?”

* Eleazer stops mid motion, his glass halted halfway between the table and his mouth

* “If I’m being honest, I don’t think he will for many years” Eleazer has an awkward expression on his face. “I think he’s afraid of you”

* You sputter

* The great and powerful Aro?! Alive for 1000’s of years. AFRAID OF YOU?!?

* “Oh don’t look at me like that, try and think about it from his perspective.”

* Your power is on par with Janes, but unlike her over the decade you’ve been a vampire your power has only gotten stronger. Your body’s natural despair and your desire to be human feed off of each other, compounding on each other to make your power that much more potent

* The only difference is that now you’ve learned to hide it, keeping your emotions in check so others aren’t hurt

* There isn’t a person alive that stands a chance against you at your full potential. You’re the strongest known vampire

* “Chelsea can’t bind you to coven with her loyalty like she does the others,” Eleazer takes a sip of his drink. “his only choice is to let you come back on your own volition, otherwise he risks a war.”

* A war he wouldn’t win, on your own it was dicey, all of them against just you could go either way

* But you weren’t alone anymore, now you have Tanya, Kate, Irina, Carmen, Eleazer

* And Edward. You know without a second thought Edward would follow you into hell if you asked.

* “Saving any discovery of remarkable talent”

* A discovery like Bella

* You’re not 100% certain, but you’re pretty sure your powers don’t work on Bella, the same way Edward, Jane and Alec’s powers won’t work on her

* And if she can really spread her shield to others-

* You’re f*cked

* “but the chances of that are slim to none.” Eleazer reassures you

* You give him a reassuring smile

* “Salud” you raise you glass and he smiles

* “Salud” he grins as your glass clinks

* You weren’t expecting the week to go by so fast, or to be having as much fun as you did.

* You were pretty sad when the end of the week rolled around and Eleazer dropped you off home

* “He’ll be back before you know it” Edward says, his arm over your shoulders, giving your arm a comforting squeeze

* “Yeah I know, it still feels bad though”

* Edward doesn’t say anything, he just holds you a little closer

* You’re thankful to the Cullen’s for taking you in and giving you an opportunity you might not have had otherwise

* But they’re not your coven, they’re not really your family

* And so now you’re here, walking in a bright pink and red construction paper covered hallway next to Jessica who’s talking about Valentine’s Day

* Ah right, today’s Valentine’s Day

* “Do you think maybe...Mike bought me a carnation?” She asks twirling a strand of hair around her finger

* “I’m sure he did”

* You’re actually sure he bought one for Bella, but you’re hoping the courtesy extends to the whole friend group

* You bought all your friends valentines, and that includes the Cullen’s and everyone on the cheer team

* The money wasn’t the worst part, they were only a dollar each, the worst part was having to write notes for all of them, it wouldn’t have been so bad if the girl at the table wasn’t giving you a dirty look as you pretended to struggle through writing 30 cards

* “How much do you want to bet Bella gets the most flowers out of all of us?”

* You would bet the entire contents of your bank account, but you’re pretty sure Jess can’t match your bet

* “Well, she’s something new to look at, and boys are dumb”

* Jessica blows a strand of hair out of her face. You know she’s probably a bit bitter since she’s started to notice Mike is interested in Bella and not her

* But you kind of get it

* Bella’s cute, but she’s no Cindy Crawford. And to add...she’s really shy, not exactly someone with a charismatic personality.

* The attention she’s garnered will fade in due time, Edward had told you as much

* “It’s the same thing as when we moved to town, most of these kids have gone to school together since childhood, so when someone new gets here it’s all they can think about. They don’t really like her, they just like the idea of her. The illusion of a choice”

* It made you a little sad to be honest, even worse was that Bella didn’t seem to enjoy the attention. She seemed uncomfortable every time a boy flirted with her

* “I almost feel bad for her, I get the feeling she’s not really into any of these guys that are chasing her” Jessica says, so you’re not the only one that’s noticed

* You’re a little surprised that when the student comes by with carnations you get two entire bouquets worth

* And then they come back the next period and give you another bouquet

* “Oooo someone’s popular!” Angela teases and you shrug. Most of these are from Alice and Rosalie, they each bought you three each

* You got a whopping 12 from Conner which feels a bit surprising

* You knew he was going after it, but you didn’t think he would bother to actually put any effort into his attraction outside of flirting with you

* You’ve got one from everyone in your friend group, a handful from others on the cheer team, Emmett and Jasper both bought you one

* The only person who didn’t get you one was Edward

* You wonder if he got Bella one? The thought seems unlikely since they were basically at each others throat the last time they were together

* So imagine your surprise when you walk into the hall to see Bella and Edward talking

* You’re gone for a week and it’s like they’re suddenly insta-friends

* In fact, Bella’s actually blushing, a carnation twirling between her fingers

* A light red carnation

* So he did buy carnations after all, just not for you

* And Edward...his eyes are sparkling as he looks down at her. A lopsided grin curling onto his face

* Oh, there’s that smile

* He says something to her and she pouts, slapping him lightly with the carnation

* They’re getting along just fine without your matchmaking efforts

* So you were the problem

* You should be happy, relieved even-

* But all you can feel is the sharp twist in the bottom of your stomach

* “Hey (Y/N/N), I see you got my flowers”

* You turn around to see Conner who’s looking at your half zipped bag, 3 bouquets of flowers popping out of the top

* “Oh, yeah thanks they’re beautiful.”

* “I’m glad you got them, I noticed you weren’t at school and for a second I was worried you wouldn’t be here today too.”

* He really is cute. He’s got chocolate brown hair and clear blue eyes, a splatter of freckles across the bridge of his nose. He plays tennis or baseball or some other irrelevant sport.

* He’s popular with the girls too, he dated Lauren a few times, and Jessica admitted she had a crush on him freshman year.

* “Are you feeling better now?” He asks, he looks genuinely concerned and it takes you back a bit

* “Yeah, my dad came for a surprise visit so we went to Seattle”

* “Oh that’s cool, what did you guys do?”

* You’re a little surprised that Conner O’Malley, f*ckboy extraordinaire, is Trying to engage you in an honest conversation

* “We just did all the tourist stuff, space needle, museums, food, the usual.”

* Conner smiles at you, hands fidgeting together

* “That’s cool, did you um-did you read the note with the bouquet?

* You didn’t notice there was a note, you swing you backpack around, picking out his bright red bouquet with ease.

* You hadn’t paid attention to the note attached than reading the name on the front to see who they were from.

* “Will you be my valentine” you read the note out loud, feeling confused. What does that mean

* He fidgets in front of you, from here you can see his ears are bright red

* “So would you want to go out sometime?”

* He’s asking you out? On a proper date????

* “We could go watch a movie, or um I know you like to ride those bikes in Port A-“ you do like to ride those bikes in port a

* You watch the his human boy fumble over himself. There’s no future with this boy, one day he’ll grow old and want things you won’t be able to give him.

* “I have a ton of homework to catch up on-“

* “Oh, yeah no, I get that”

* But maybe... maybe it’s okay just to pretend and let yourself be entertained by the experience

* “Would you want to come with me to the library? I’m totally lost on Trig”

* You know it’s not the most romantic place, but that’s part of the reason you suggested it. You want to give him an out

* He looks a little surprised but recovers quickly.

* “I’ll meet you after school then, we can drive to the library together”

* You don’t bother telling Edward, you just look to the spot where he’s with Bella, he must have heard

* His eyes meet yours, his mouth pinches into a slight smile and he gives you a nod before turning back to Bella

* What so just because he’s got a new friend you’re invisible now?

* Stupid Edward. Not like you care, you just wanted him to know he’d have to ride home with the others

* Maybe his new best friend Bella can give him a ride home

* “So you’re going out with Conner tonight huh?” Mike asks when you take your seat in biology

* Edward doesn’t so much as spare you a glance

* “He’s just helping me catch up on school work.” You shrug, pulling out your biology homework

* “I bet he’ll help you catch up on-“

* “You’re going out with Conner?” Bella interrupts, you’re grateful for it but at the same time: those doe eyes and innocent face irritate you

* “He’s just helping me catch up on homework I missed”

* “Couldn’t Edward hell you do that?”

* You try to not look at Edward

* But what the f*ck?!?

* Last week the two of them couldn’t even sit in a car together for a short ten minute drive, and now all of a sudden she’s asking why you’re NOT spending time with Edward?

* It’s so... irritating

* You feel a tap on your arm, and turn to look at Edward

* “Control yourself”

* Oh great so the one time he decides to acknowledge your presence is to tell you to control your powers because he’s worried about his little human girlfriend getting the whiplash?!?

* Seriously, f*ck off Edward

* “Mr. Barnes I have to go to the nurse.”

* You don’t even wait to hear his answer, you just grab your bag and walk out

* You keep walking, practically fuming until you get to the parking lot

* Well you can’t leave, you already told Conner you’re going with him to the library after school

* Not to add it’s going to look real weird if you don’t go the nurses office eventually after storming off like that

* But you don’t want to go there yet

* Queue you discretely crouching under a window, lightly tapping the glass

* “Rosalie, Rosalie can you hear me?” You whisper

* Rosalie head turns to the window, her eyebrows threaded together, you poke your head just slightly above the ledge and give her a small smile and a wave

* Well at least it’s always interesting with you around

* “What are you doing?” Rosalie asks when she meets you under the school staircase

* You give her a nervous smile before collapsing onto the floor

* She gives you a knowing look before sitting beside you

* “So what did king Brood do now?”

* Queue the Edward rant

* “I leave for one week and all of a sudden he’s besties with some human, when just last week he told me not to get to close to her”

* “That’s Edward for you, king of the brood and hypocrisy.” Rosalie leans her head back against the wall

* “You know he didn’t even get me a carnation?”

* Rosalie rolls her eyes

* “That sounds like him, if it helps he didn’t buy me a carnation either, he just doesn’t think things like this are important”

* “He bought Bella one.”

* Rosalie sputters at that, so you retell her all about the flirting you had to watch

* “What color was the carnation?” Rosalie asks, and your eyebrows thread together

* Why is that important right now?

* “Um I don’t know, not quite pink, not quite red, something in between.”

* Rosalie’s expression smooths

* So that’s his game

* “Don’t worry about it too much as long as it’s not a deep red it doesn’t mean love”

* Now it’s your turn to sputter

* “W-what why would I be worried? Edward can do whatever he wants, even if it is with some human”

* Rosalie gives you a knowing look, and you avert your eyes

* If Rosalie were cruel she might ask why you’re sitting out here with her instead of in class, if you don’t care about what Edward does

* But Rosalie isn’t cruel, at least not to you

* She pats your shoulder, and you sigh

* “Come on let’s go to the nurse so you can pretend you have cramps or something” you nod

* “Besides don’t you have a date with the hottest human boy at our school?” You groan and a teasing smile curls onto her lips

* “Not you too.”

* The date is over hyped for sure, it’s mostly you and Conner sitting at the end of a small table asking each other questions about the trig homework

* “So...are you supposed to use the radical formula for this one?”

* “I think so..do you remember the formula?” Conner scratches his head

* “Um I remember there was a story about a mixed up guy going to a party that’s supposed to help”

* Basically it’s more like you’re helping Conner with home work than him helping you Totally underwhelming

* “Sorry, I bet there are better ways to spend your Valentine’s Day” Conner scoffs

* “Are you kidding? I’m spending it with the hottest person at Forks HS, as far as I’m concerned this is a win” he grins and you smile back

* Well, it wasn’t completely a waste

* You roll around back home around 11:30, everyone’s gone, on with their own Valentine’s Day plans.

* You’re not surprised to see Edward’s not in his room either He’s probably out watching Bella or doing god knows what

* You know this is the way it supposed to be, it’s the best thing for you too, you know even with Bella in the mix Edward would never betray you

* Once she’s on your side you don’t have to worry about the Volturi. But still, there a twist in your stomach You don’t like this new Edward, even if it is who he really is.

* You want your Edward back

* You sigh as you walk down the hall and into your room Stopping in the doorway when you flick on the lights

* There on your desk is a bouquet of roses

* You have half a mind to think they’re from Eleazer or Garrett or something

* So imagine when you pull off the card to see Edward’s name attached

* “Glad to have you home, happy Valentine’s Day” - Edward

* You toy with the card, a small smile curling onto your lips

* Maybe he’s still your Edward

* Your Edward just more anti-social

Tags:  @moonlights27 @thebluetint @the100thtwilight @awesomebooklover17 @oneofthepotterheads @smileygirl08 @imdoingathingmom @iconicgguk @yrawn @alyciaswhore @little-horror-show @wicked-watering-can @lazydreamers @ xxxmuxxx @ideas-for-you-to-adopt​​ @poisoinedhope @maryleigh8796​ @moose-squirrel-asstiel​ @hotmessgoodness @jaimewho @corabmarie @what-am-i-doing10​

[hydroponicjj]

No Body, No Crime [2]

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Female!Peterkin!Reader

Word Count: 3k+

Warnings: Mentions of Drugs/Alcohol, Swearing, etc

Summary: Rafe is finding himself having trouble trusting Y/N, even after what she did for him.

A/N: Hello! This is the second chapter of No Body, No Crime. Please enjoy and, let me know if you’d like to be on the taglist! <3

「 ₊˚.༄ 」

The entire drive over to Topper's made you extremely nervous. Your stomach felt as if it was in a knot that couldn't be undone.

It only got worse when you began to recognize the scenery of Figure 8.

It was unusual of you to be so anxious.

Usually, you’re hyper-focused. You don’t have time to worry about all the possible things that could go wrong but, Rafe made you feel different.

Typically, the two of you would only interact in passing. Oftentimes in the kitchen at his house when you needed him to help you reach something on the top shelf.

Now, you’re about to see each other in a brand new light. Going from strangers to...

Honestly, you didn’t really know how to classify this blossoming relationship, considering it hasn’t started yet.

Turning a corner into a neighborhood, you recognized Topper's mansion almost immediately.

It was the second house on the right with pillars and a baby blue door. There were tiny American flags pitched in the yard with small lights showcasing their entrance.

There were so many cars parked on the street and in the driveway that it was nearly impossible for you to get close without clipping a vehicle.

Finding a good spot near the sidewalk, you emerged from your car, making sure to check that it was locked (a habit you learned from your mother).

Drawing closer to the front door, you spotted Rafe.

He was sitting ominously in a rocking chair on the porch, looking out into the yard.

"Hey." You called out. He broke from his intense gaze and glanced at you.

"Shit, I totally forgot that you were coming." He pinched the bridge of his nose, turning his head.

"Well, I'm here so.." You trailed off, taking a seat next to him.

Instantly, Rafe began to draw away from you. You noticed but refrained from commenting on it, not knowing what his problem was.

It wasn't long after that the tension started to fill the air. You’re usually the one keeping your distance from him, not vice versa.

“Are-Are you going to say anything?” You asked, nervously.

You had no idea what made his energy shift from the last time you spoke to him but, this wasn’t the same Rafe that you saw that afternoon.

“What do you want me to say?” He replied sharply, glancing over in your direction.

You were taken aback by him, “Rafe. You asked me to meet you here. I have no idea what the hell is going on. So, I just— I wanna know what’s happening.”

He froze, inhaling deeply. It was clear that he was searching for the right words to say that would get his message across.

“Y/N, I don’t trust you. You might be Sarah’s best friend but, you’re also the sheriffs' daughter.” His voice was cold and distant.

He genuinely viewed you as some kind of threat. Less than 7 hours ago, he was more than willing to rope you into whatever he had going on, and now, you’re just a burden to him.

You scoffed, “You seemed pretty happy to get your drugs back this afternoon. Was I the sheriffs' daughter then?”

“I stole from my mom, Rafe. That’s not something you just do for fun. Especially when you have a lot to lose on your end, okay. So, if I rat you out, I’m going down too.”

Guilt instantly flashed behind his blue eyes. It was evident as his features began to soften and he lowered his eyebrows.

He began to speak but, you cut him off, “Listen, Rafe, I don’t expect us to go out and get matching tattoos anytime soon but, we have to learn to trust each other, or else this thing isn’t going to work.”

He chuckled lightly, flashing you a crooked smile, “Yeah.” Rafe replied simply.

The loud booming of music coming from inside filled the silence.

“Didn’t you graduate high school yesterday?” Rafe asked, quirking his head to the side.

“Yeah... I-I did.” You replied, still surprised.

You weren’t valedictorian like your mother planned but, you were pretty damn close. Still, it wasn’t enough to satisfy Susan Peterkin so, you spent the entirety of graduation sulking.

You didn’t even get a chance to enjoy your High School graduation.

A sour taste formed in your mouth as your throat began to get tighter by the second.

Rafe noticed your sudden discomfort, “Well, you’re at a party. Why don’t you go inside and have fun? Celebrate the milestone.”

“You should celebrate too. I mean- finishing your first year of college.” You acknowledged, awkwardly trying to shift the conversation toward him.

“I took a gap year. Too many things to do and not enough time.” He shrugged.

You were so entranced by the way Rafe spoke. He wasn’t like you, who felt the need to give the deepest, most profound explanation for everything.

He was simple.

You liked simple.

Standing up, you extended your hand in his direction, “Come on,” you paused, grabbing him by the wrist, “We’re going inside.”

“No no no,” he protested, “I already told my friends I was leaving so,” Rafe resisted your grasp, staying firmly in his seat.

“I think we can handle Topper and Kelce.” You scoffed, giving him a playful look.

Rafe knit his eyebrows together, contemplating. It had already been an extremely long night. But, he was having a hard time pulling out the response from his chest.

"Shitttt," He drew out, "What the hell. It'd be nice to see you pull the stick out of your ass and relax."

Eyes lighting up and a smile tugging on your lips, you yanked on his wrist again. This time, he rose from the rocking chair, peering down at you, "Don't make me regret this, Peterkin."

"How could you possibly regret anything when you're with me?" You sent him a sly wink.

Twisting the front-door handle, you entered the Thorton household.

Your senses were instantly triggered. Your ears struggled to determine which was louder, the music or screaming of teenagers. Your eyes reacted to the fluorescent light projected on the ceiling.

The scent was absolutely putrid. Sweaty bodies and alcohol were not a good mixture, not under any circumstances.

"Ugh," Covering your nose with your right hand, you peered back at Rafe. He seemed completely fine.

This was normal for him.

Watching as he maneuvered around this situation with such ease inspired you.

Rafe was a complete mystery to you. Although with every interaction, he became less of a riddle, it was still a challenge trying to figure him out.

Abruptly, someone from behind you yelled, tearing you from your trance, "I said that you'd be back!"

Turning around, you saw Kelce and Topper making their way towards the two of you.

"Yeah, yeah," Rafe responded, playfully, drifting closer to his two friends.

A mere seconds later, Topper noticed you standing at a feeble 1 and a half feet shorter than Rafe.

"Holy shit," He gasped, "A-Are my eyes deceiving me, or is Y/N Peterkin at a party?"

This caught Kelce's attention and, he certainly couldn't resist making a sly comment, "How's your mom? Is she still 6 feet up the Pogues ass or....?"

Scoffing, you began to walk away but, something caught your shoulder.

"Listen, she's a bitch but, not as nearly as much as you think." Rafe defended.

You couldn't help but laugh, “Thanks.”

Yes, it was a shitty, backhanded compliment. But, it was coming from Rafe Cameron so, that's the best you're gonna get.

"Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it," Commented Kelce, turning his head to look around at the scenery.

“Rafe,” Topper paused, “Are you trying to get even more fucked up tonight?”

Glancing at Rafe, you noticed how tired he looked. Drooping eyes and hunched shoulders gave away how he was feeling.

“No, he has other priorities on his mind.” You chimed in.

“Ohhhhhhhh.” Kelce raised his eyebrows.

Wiggling two fingers between the two of you, “Are you guys....? You know?”

“Shut the fuck up, Kelce. You’re a goddamned idiot.” Rafe rolled his eyes, pushing his friend lightly.

“Relax. I’m not gonna swoop in on your girl. Just curious who you’re fucking this week.”

Glancing up at Rafe, he appeared extremely fed up with the current conversation.

“Come on, man,” Topper said, pulling Kelce by the shoulder, “Let’s leave these two alone. I’m sure they’ve got loads of shit to catch up on.”

The two walked out of the entryway, side by side, and floated right back into the epicenter of the party.

“Why do you do that?” You questioned, almost instantly.

Looking in your direction, he responded, “What are you talking about?”

Sighing, you began, “You willingly hang out with Dumb and Dumber,”

“You could be surrounded by people that are on the same intellectual level as you. Yet, you surround yourself with people like those 2 that are only interested in being so high that they can’t remember their name.”

Rafe shook his head, “It doesn’t matter.”

There he goes again. Being simple. Summing up everything he has to say in a mere 3 words.

"He deserves better than that." You thought but didn't say.

In your head, you could see Rafe walking away from the conversation and, you wanted him as close as possible (because you're not used to parties.... no other reason.... of course).

"This is stressing me out," You commented jokingly, running your hands through your hair.

If you weren't so hyperaware of your surroundings, you would've missed the way that Rafe was glancing at you.

He looked as if he was trying to decipher what was going on in your head.

“Come on.” He nodded his head in the direction of the living room (aka where 90% of the party-goers were).

You grinned slightly, “I was deprived of partying my entire 4 years of High School. I don’t think I should start now.”

You turned around and sat on the love seat in the Thornton entryway.

“You dragged me back in here so, the least you could do is sway your hips to some shitty music.”

“Maybe.” You smirked, teasing him.

“Alright, I’ll find Topper and Kelce. I’m sure they’ve got something interesting for me.” Rafe began to exit the room.

“Fine,” you rose from your seat immediately, catching his attention.

You shook your head in disapproval, “So manipulative.”

A smug look was plastered on Rafe’s face, “Yeah, well.... it worked.”

He shrugged and sent you a smirk.

「 ₊˚.༄ 」

You had never felt so free in your entire life.

It was surprising that such a wild atmosphere made you feel a sense of comfort and enjoyment, rather than fear and anxiety.

Maybe it was the fact that you clung to Rafe for the majority of the time.

He was such a social hotspot.

People of all ages and demographics were speaking to him. He kept the conversations brief and, it was clear that he wasn't very interested.

Nevertheless, he was dragged into a game of beer pong, and (with the help of Topper and Kelce) he agreed to play BUT, only if you did.

At first, you were hesitant, having no idea how to play but, there was something inside of you that hated the thought of saying no to Rafe.

You indulged him and decided to play, with the exception that you didn't drink, considering that you had to drive back home to the Cut.

It took a few tries for you to actually get the hang of things but, Rafe helped a lot.

He would often adjust your form, wrapping his arm around your waist and tugging you in another direction.

It made you nervous yet excited having him in such close proximity to you, whispering in your ear which direction to throw the ball.

Ultimately, the two of you ended up winning against Topper and Kelce (who were pissed that they lost to such an inexperienced player).

That was the beginning of the fun.

After that, you didn't feel the need to cling to Rafe as tight as you had been before.

You went off and had conversations with people that didn't go to your High School, which also meant they had no clue who your mother was.

You used to be extremely familiar with Figure 8 and you often found yourself missing it from time to time.

It was very nice to be able to surround yourself with people that weren't foaming at the mouth to run and tell your mother everything they saw.

It wasn't until you began to dance, swaying your hips to the beat that Rafe found you again.

"Y/N, I--I need a ride home." He began, speaking in a low but rushed tone.

"What?!" You yelled, not being able to hear him over the music.

You took a glance at him and, he looked horrible.

His eyes were extremely red and he reeked of alcohol and plenty of other illegal substances.

Not only that but, Rafe seemed extremely jittery. Almost as if something bad was going to happen if he didn't leave immediately.

Seeing the stress of the situation, you gripped Rafe by the arm and tugged him out of the hectic scene and into the nearest quiet room.

Finding a bathroom right before the kitchen, the two of you entered.

You sat him on the edge of the tub, crouching in front of him.

"Rafe," You paused, clutching the sides of his face, "Look at me. What's going on?"

Opening his eyes, he began to speak, "Please, just, please. Take me home." He buried his head into your shoulder.

You were stunned by his actions, having no idea what drug he took that made him act like that.

But, now was not the time to question Rafe, he needed your help and after all the progress the two of you made that evening, you weren't going to leave him behind.

"O-okay, okay. Yes, I'll take you home."

You stood up, continuing to hold his arm, afraid that he'd fall back into the tub.

"Rafe, can you stand? Can you walk?" You asked.

He nodded then rose, towering over you.

"Here," You directed him towards the sink, "Splash some cold water onto your face, okay?"

He did as you told him, gathering a scoop of water in his palms and splattered it onto his face.

After, he seemed slightly more coherent but, not nearly enough.

The two of you emerged from the bathroom. You were still clung to his arm, leading him in the direction of the exit.

Once, you left the inside of the house, you were bombarded with cars from all angles.

It then hit you that you had to park on the street.

As you led Rafe down the infinitely long driveway, you cursed in your head, upset at the universe for making you work against gravity in order to keep him from face-planting.

Finally, making it to your car, you reached in your pocket and unlocked it.

Opening the door to the passenger's side, you plopped Rafe in the seat and buckled him in.

You ran around the front of the car, trying to get back to Rafe as soon as possible.

"Rafe, do you have everything? Your phone, wallet, keys?"

"Mhm." He replied, setting his head on the back of the seat.

With that, you took one last glance at Rafe and put the car in drive.

「 ₊˚.༄ 」

Pulling into the driveway, you noticed that the Cameron household was quiet.

The only light coming from inside was the glare of the TV from Wheezie's room.

"Rafe, we're here." You said, shaking him. He had fallen asleep seconds after you started driving.

He didn't waste any time getting out of the car. Unbuckling his seatbelt and opening the door, he headed in the direction of the garage.

As he approached, it opened.

"I know they're rich but, damn, motion detected garage?" You commented, continuing to watch, making sure Rafe made it inside safely.

It wasn't until you started saw him stop that you noticed a figure standing in front of him.

It was Ward Cameron.

"Shit."

You knew Ward was going to give Rafe crap for staying out late, partying so, the least you could do was try and cover for him.

Emerging from your car, you walked towards the garage.

"Rafe, I need you to do it, okay? I don't want Sarah getting involved-" You caught the end of what Ward was saying before he stopped.

"Y/N!" He greeted, a smile on his face.

"Hey, Mr.Cameron." You waved awkwardly, sending a forced smile.

"Thank you so much for bringing this one home," He grabbed Rafe by the shoulder, pulling him into a side hug.

"No problem! I just needed his help with some things. The least I could do was take him home." You replied.

"Yeah, yeah," Ward nodded his head, looking back at the door.

"Listen, Y/N, thanks for putting in a good word with your mom. We really appreciate it."

"I'm sorry?" You knit your eyebrows in confusion.

"I got a call from the station today saying the charges against Rafe had been dropped. All of us are so thrilled that we can resume a normal life and move past this." He placed a hand on his chest.

You had no idea what he was talking about. Your mom wasn't home yet. There was no way she could've seen the drugs had been taken from her safe yet.

But, you had to play it cool, not wanting Ward to ask any questions "Sure, sure." you answered.

"Okay, welp," He paused, "Have a nice night, Y/N. Come by tomorrow and see us." Ward finished, hurridly.

With that, he turned around swiftly and went back inside his house, through the garage door.

That entire interaction was odd. You had never seen Ward act so tense.

Also, you couldn't help but wonder what was so urgent that Sarah couldn't do?

It had been less than 24 hours and, you're already wrapped up in things you couldn't begin to comprehend.

"I need to sleep."

Walking back to your car, you entered the driver's seat.

Putting the car in reverse, you exited the Cameron house and began your journey back to the Cut.

TAGLIST *strikethrough it won’t let me tag*: @oopsiedoopsie23 @a-bolanos @cocobutterqween @gabiatthedisco @athenastarkey @halsmultibitch @water13 @avaspringtime @niamhvivo @haterpenny @nerdypartytrashpsychic @casually-kook @mynameberose @malfoylaufeysonweasley

[morimakesfanart]

Sindria's Prophet #17

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16]

[AO3]

*In this house we stan string theory and multiple dimension theory *Also, this chapter gets a little preachy, and delves more into my interpretation of the series so to make up for it I made a lot of art.

~POV Sinbad~ "If you're willing to talk about the future, does that mean you are finally ready to explain about those calamities you mentioned in Balbadd?" When Ja'far cut in he was in a rush; he didn't want to miss this chance. Sinbad had underestimated Ja'far's concerns; he had been too preoccupied with the Prophet. All the same, "I don't know if this is the time for that conversation. This is Mori's first meal with everyone after all." Wait. He knew that look. Ja'far wasn't actually asking to have that conversation now. He was pressuring Mori so she would have to agree to tell them soon. "I'm fine. I made a promise and I intend to keep it. As long as everyone else is willing to talk seriously for a few mins, I don't see the problem." Mori was wearing the same stern expression she had the morning of the coup in Balbadd. When Ja'far had cut in with his request he could have tried to sound a little nicer but it didn't warrant the cold response Mori gave in return. There had been rising tensions between Ja'far and Mori since Balbadd, but both seemed to get along most of the time. "Wait really? You're agreeing this easily?" Ja'far's shock also spoke for the King. She obviously didn't want to talk about the Calamities even when she promised to tell them, so why now? "A promise is a promise." Mori almost felt like a completely different person compared to the coy way she was teasing them all just moments ago. "Besides, this will just continue to be a point of contention until I explain."

--- King Sinbad was finally eating with his Generals and Prophet, but this was nothing like he had planned. Mori sat straight with both hands on the table interlocked. "The 1st of the 2 calamities occurs in about 2 years. As you know, there's a few countries that currently have rising tensions." Which countries? The Kou and Riem were prime contenders since they were already Empires causing trouble for other countries. There was also Magnostadt which has been becoming increasingly hostile to other nations, and seemed to be encroaching on the Kingdom of Actia. "In 2 years, 3 of them are going to go to war. A massive amount of black Rukh will be released, and the same type of magic used to make the Dark Djinns will be used to make a humanoid monster the size of a mountain." Of course, Al Thamen would be involved. "The amount of black Rukh it will have will make it a Medium for opening a black spot and letting Ill Ilah connect to the world which is Al Thamen's ultimate goal. Once Ill Ilah connects it will destroy all of the white Rukh in the world -bringing death." It sounded just like what Falon had described as her plan all those years ago. The same thing that happened in Parthevia a decade ago is going to happen again in only 2 years? "The Medium is destroyed before that can happen thanks to all of the current Metal Vessel users and assimilated Household Members coming together to destroy it. The world is saved but in the process one of the Magi will have to commit one of the ultimate taboos of this world. That taboo is what will eventually lead to the 2nd Calamity. If King Sinbad and the Metal Vessel users of the Seven Seas Alliance, which were the last to arrive, can show up sooner then that taboo and the 2nd Calamity might be something that can be fully avoided especially since I already know the Medium's weakness." It was clear that Mori knew more. Sinbad would have to talk to her about it later; he wasn't sure how much he wanted to talk about this tonight -they were supposed to be celebrating and getting to know each other light heartedly. However, there was one question he couldn't hold back from asking. "What is this taboo?” Mori sighed like she had expected that question. She looked to the ceiling. "Honestly, I didn't want to think it was a taboo when I first learned it, but after seeing what happens I get it now." She looked back at them. "I hope you can accept me not telling what it is. I don't want to even try to explain the 2nd Calamity because I'm not sure how without explaining the taboo. You see, the taboo involves information, so if I explain it to you I will be committing the taboo myself. I can only hope that the world isn't endangered because I know it." The air in the room felt thick. All of the Generals were waiting for his decision. Sinbad tried to read the Prophet's expression. It was serious, and determined; it seemed like fear and remorse were hiding right under the surface. What information could be dangerous on its own? "Alright," he agreed. "We don't want to take any unnecessary risks. However, if we are unable to prevent the taboo from being committed you will explain the 2nd Calamity." Mori attempted a half-hearted smile. "I was already planning to do that." She glanced around at the Generals. "Are there any other questions?" Sharrkan grumbled. "This is all really complicated stuff." "Yeah. Pretty scary, huh?" Pisti agreed. Drakon and Hinahoho were sharing a look while thinking.

"You still haven't told us where this is going to happen." Ja'far decided he would ask the next question. "Are you withholding that information on purpose?" Mori's expression was blank. "I'll tell you the countries involved after King Sinbad returns from the Kou Empire. I don't want to influence how the negotiation goes by giving him too much information he wouldn't normally have. I'm doing this for Balbadd..." Mori withholding vital information was the entire cause of Ja'far's distrust of her. "You took too long to tell us what was going to happen back in Balbadd, remember? If we know what their next target is then we can stop it before it ever happens." "The 1st Calamity has nothing to do with Al Thamen." "What?” that question was asked by all except the Prophet. Mori explained, "That country has refused contact with them and been building towards this for the past 10 years all on its own. All of the Black Rukh that has been accumulated there is like a trap waiting to be set off. The people currently in charge are not people who would be willing to accept change, or to listen to the arguments of the people here." That definitely narrowed it down. Riem was already having meetings with them, and it was only a matter of time before they formed an alliance. They already had the peace treaty with the Kou, and King Sinbad was about to go negotiate with them for Balbadd. That only left Magnostadt as the center of the conflict -the country they knew had increasing disparity between it's upper and lower classes. Mori was staring at him. He wasn't the one she was actually hiding this from. Since it didn't seem to be an avoidable Fate, she was preventing Yam from learning the Fate of her home country for as long as possible. Mori was trying to be considerate. "How is that possible?” "If they aren't behind it then how could such a thing happen??” Mori gave a sad smile. "It would be so much easier if all of the bad things in this world really were all caused by that organization. I had wrongly thought that was how this world works in the heat of the moment back in Balbadd, but I know better. I've read this world's Fate after all. Even in this world it is a mistake to hold onto the hope of total altruism too strongly." It almost felt like she was calling them all naïve with that last statement. She looked down at her hands. "Sentience, experience and free will make us all imperfect. All people are shaped by their past and everyone has a vice. There will always be people who think they are above everyone else, people who think they are right because of their feelings, people who think that they deserve something just because they want it or that they can do something because it is available to them," she looked back up and made direct eye contact with her King, "people that think that their luck or privilege is a sign that they were chosen by Fate, that they are the only one who can do something because they are special and that that means they are righteous and their failings mere stepping stones when in reality they are all normal people just like the rest of us." ///She knows nothing about being a Singularity. There's no greater proof of being chosen by Fate!/// Since the Fall of First Sindria, Sinbad had been hearing a voice periodically. It was like stray thoughts -many were opinions he didn't really have. The fact that the voice felt the same as him in this made a pit form in his stomach.

Mori gestured at him and continued. "Even his Majesty being a 'Singularity' is only something rare. You aren't the first, and you won't be the last. You know I can read the waves of Fate as well, so it's obviously not the type of thing that you or Al Thamen makes it out to be. There is no 'chosen one.' No one is immune to human fault or failing. 'Fate' is the history of how all of our decisions affect each other.” It was like she was reading his thoughts. There were other Singularities? Mori could also read the waves but- The waves in the room were over flowing. This was greater than when Mori changed things in Balbadd. They were far off topic now, but this was more important. ///She doesn't understand anything. I've read Fate!/// Those stray thoughts hated Mori and how she was changing things since the beginning even though when Sinbad read the waves around her he liked the direction they were going. Her waves wouldn't stop him from reaching his dream. If that voice was this against what she was doing then he had to know more. "Mori, please tell me, what makes you so sure? You say you've read Fate; how can you say there isn't a grand plan? Can you really deny that the Rukh guide us?" Would they have to agree to disagree? Was this something he could afford for the Prophet of his own country to not see his way? She watched him and the Generals as she thought. "There is a 'plan,' but it isn't absolute. I read more than one 'Fate' for this reality. If Fate was already fully decided then in Balbadd Judar would have defeated all of you instead of being crushed by Ugo, and Cassim would have married Princess Kougyoku instead of dying, but that didn't happen, now did it? When I read Fate, I read how it was changed from it's original design by the people of this world. And as I've already said, I couldn't be here if everything was already decided.” ((these are things that are said to be in the og draft of Magi, but got changed when actually making the scenes)) They had been changing Fate's course before Mori arrived? Was that even possible? Mori wasn't the type to lie out right over something like this. Between her demeanor and the waves, he could tell she wasn't lying. He had to know where this new path was leading and asked an obvious question. "Isn't it just as likely that those 'changes' were supposed to happen?" Mori scowled at that. "Anything is true somewhere. There are infinite realities where any Fate is true. Every moment infinitely more form to account for every possibility -every decision, and unexpected change, even an asteroid coming and destroying the planet. If you can imagine it, it is reality somewhere." Sinbad had read Fate in the waves, of course he knew about there being other possibilities. Were there really other realities where he had followed one of the other paths? Mori didn't wait for him to comment. "There's no way to know which destiny or Fate we are following until it's already happened. Being able to read the waves has helped me narrow it down to 2 or so of the Fates that I read for this reality, but it can't account for everything. Since I can't read my own Fate I can't know how my presence will affect things." Mori continued, "When I read this reality's Fate, I learned how it functions on a fundamental level. Everything is made up of Rukh and is dictated by the Rukh and magoi. The Great Flow of the Rukh 'guides' the living but it is also affected by the wants and desires of the living. It sees all those wishes and creates opportunities for people to realize those dreams based on how many want that dream to become real. But it's still up to the living how they react. The Great Flow creates opportunities and makes suggestions, but it can't make your decisions for you. And" Mori paused while looking for the right words, "and the more magoi directed at a certain wish the more likely the Great Flow will try to help." Mori waited for them to absorb the meaning of her words. That meaning made Sinbad nervous. If she wasn't lying... Drakon broke the silence. "That would mean that someone with

a lot of magoi would have a greater affect on the Great Flow." "It does." Mori confirmed. Was that really how the Great Flow of the Rukh worked? How Fate worked? Mori stayed silent again, reading them as much as they were reading her. The waves were still high. Yam was the next to comment. "I know the amount of magoi a person has defines how strong of a magician they can become, but it sounds like those born with a lot of magoi also have an amazing privilege when it comes to the Great Flow." "Exactly." Mori agreed. "The people that Fate seems to favor aren't chosen by Fate or particularly special. They are born lucky just like those born rich." She paused. "All Dudgeon Capturers have an above average amount of magoi. A Djinn won't select a King that doesn't even have enough magoi to use their power. The more Djinns a person has, the more magoi they need to have. King Sinbad, you were born with a rare ability, and the equivalent magoi of a large city or small county -even before all that Rukh merged with you in Parthevia. If you didn't, there would be no reasons for the Djinns to cut you off from trying to capture more Dungeons." "What?" Sinbad's question slipped out of him in an airy gasp. He knew he had more magoi than average, but this would make him no different from those that grew up as royalty thinking that they were inherently better than their poor subjects. He wasn't sure if he could believe her, but the waves of Fate had never lied to him. The Prophet's waves were overwhelming the space, encouraging him to believe her. It was obvious how this information would change things. King Sinbad had more than the waves, he also had a sharp intuition. There was something hidden in her words. Some truth about his future that she hadn't told them yet. Even if he had been intentionally given these privileges by Fate, Mori had already stated that his decisions were his own. When Mori had said there were people that conflated their privilege with a righteous roll given by Fate it definitely included him. But if he wasn't chosen by Fate, if they had been changing Fate all along, then what was what happened in Parthevia or Riem? Mori's voice pulled him out of his thoughts. "Not being chosen by Fate and everyone having free will is a good thing if you ask me. It means when someone chooses to do right by others it is because they chose to, not because someone is forcing or directing them. I like to think that everyone thinks they are doing the right thing, and only act out against others because of strong emotions and ignorance. The cure for most negative emotions is a stable environment ((including medication for those who need it)) and the cure for ignorance is education. These are things that Sindria and the Seven Seas Alliance are able to provide. "All of you are using your privileges and talents to help people, and to bring peace to the world. Regardless of whatever mistakes you made in the past, this country and the current state of the world are a direct result of your choices. These choices you've all made are even more admirable because you made them on your own. Isn't that why so many have sided with Sindria already? It's also one of the main reasons I chose to become Sindria's Prophet in the first place. With your help, we can greatly reduce the disparity of this world and raise the quality of life for everyone." Her smile was soft and confident. Mori's waves overtook his own.

The King had a thought that shook him, but it was Hinahoho that asked it, "You didn't just tell us some of the taboo information, did you?" "What? No." Mori was shocked by that question. "His Majesty and others would have figured this out all on their own in about 5 years -not to mention those that already know it." He could try to deny it, return to the path he was on, but he would know deep down that she was right. And apparently, he would figure this out in the future anyway. There was no reason to hold himself back then. He could see that now -there was no going back. This was one of the changes he had felt in her waves from when he first met Mori. ///How can she say such foolishness?? This woman must die before she ruins everything!!/// A chuckle slipped out of Sinbad. That voice really did hate his Beautiful Prophet. His waves were changing. He was changing. But he still had the same dream: to create a world without war or poverty. Mori's goal was to remove disparity. Even their goals worked well together. Why had he been so sure that being a Singularity made him some special chosen one? When had that started? It was members of Al Thamen that had told him that. They were the enemy yet he still believed their manipulation so completely. Sinbad knew why deep down. If he was chosen by Fate then his actions would be righteous and the awful things he experienced were stepping stones. Like a child learning to take responsibility and step out of the shadow of their parents, in this too he would have to take ownership for his place in the world. He would be thinking about this a lot in the coming days. All of this information was invaluable. Why did Mori choose to follow him if she knew all this? There was no way she didn't know how he viewed himself and the world before this conversation or the mistakes he had made. Was it thanks to opportunities that the Great Flow gave him that he was able to seduce her to his side? No. Mori already knew what was going to happen. She knew the future more clearly than what the waves could show. She knew him and his methods as well. She knew that the Kou Fleet had been on it's way. That meant Mori would have been deciding where she wanted to go and weighing her options from the beginning. Mori made her decision, gave him a slow drip feed of what she was capable of, and made sure each request he had of her was given a price. She wasn't just withholding her help due to a lack of trust; she was leading him to make the best possible offer. She knew that he would try to bring her to his side if he knew her value. He had played into her hands not the other way around. Why didn't this realization upset him? This new information wasn't going to stop him from achieving his dream. In fact, now that he had a better idea of how the Great Flow worked he could consciously use it to his advantage. He got what he wanted and it was mutual -not simply Fate. They both wanted this. This was making him excited. The smile on her face was one he recognized. He had worn it when he was young whenever he had convinced others to his side. Mori was cut from the same cloth. She had agreed to have this conversation not just because of Ja'far's insistence; she was after the opportunity to clear up his misunderstanding about Fate. ((plz ignore that I forgot to draw my freckles in most of the shots and am too lazy to fix it.))

[theotherhufflepuff]

Simon Snow Trilogy Tarot Cards...

Ok so, a little while ago I saw this frankly stunning artwork by @vkelleyart and I started thinking about the Major Arcana archetypes and how characters from my favourite book series could fit into them.

So I made this list. It took a lot of thought and I’m still not 100% sure on some of them but I have explained my thought process for each card.

I don’t know how much crossover there is in the Venn diagram of “Simon Snow fans” and “tarot readers” but I’d love to hear your opinions and/or alternative suggestions (be respectful though, obviously). I’ve left “visual prompts” for most of the cards explaining what they looked like in my imagination and if anyone wants to draw any of these (or their own alternative version!) please tag me; it would make my day! I can’t draw for toffee so I am 1000% never gonna try to illustrate any of them myself.

List under the cut because it is loooong.

Spoilers ahead for the whole series!

0 The Fool - Shepard - Shepard just follows magickal creatures around and says “yes” to everything... he is the pure embodiment of the Fool archetype to me; care-free, innocent... prepared for everything and yet totally clueless. Visual prompt: Shepard about to (attempt to) step into the fog as he follows a fairy into the forest.

1 The Magician - Penelope - “Penelope Bunce is a fierce magician, I don’t mind saying” Baz, at least once in each book. Penny never worries about not having the power or words available to do whatever she wants; she is comfortable in her power and it is always there, ready to be wielded however she sees fit. Visual prompt: Penny wearing her Stevie Nicks cape, standing by a chalkboard in the classic “Magician” pose, ring clearly held aloft.

2 The High Priestess - Dr Mitali Bunce - Dr Bunce is possibly a more formidable magician than her daughter. Highly intelligent, straightforward and, let’s be honest, judgemental. But she does have all the answers. Visual prompt: Dr Bunce carrying around her laptop, phone sandwiched between her ear and her shoulder.

3 The Empress - Lucy Salisbury - Lucy exudes the nurturing, Earth Mother vibes that are central to the Empress archetype. She saw the best in everyone and all she wanted was to love Davy and live with him in their cottage with her chickens and their child. Visual prompt: Lucy, barefoot and pregnant, feeding the chickens outside of their cottage.

4 The Emperor - Lamb - This is one of the ones I’m not totally sure about. I went through a few different ideas but ultimately settled on Lamb as the “Vampire King of Las Vegas”. He is an imposing figure, ruling his city with an iron fist; if you are in his favour, Vegas is your playground, but cross him and you will suffer the consequences. Visual prompt: Lamb sits on an antique chair in his opulent suite at the Katherine, the lights of night time Vegas visible through the window behind him.

5 The Hierophant - The Mage - Again, this one took some thought and I’m sure some people will disagree with this interpretation... I’m not completely sold on it myself. The Mage was all about reforming the old traditions of the World of Mages and he amassed a following by doing so. But he turned out to be somewhat of a false prophet; abusing his power to oppress those he deemed “the enemy”. Visual prompt: The Mage in his Robin Hood costume, sitting at his desk at the top of the Weeping Tower, surrounded by his piles of banned books.

6 The Lovers - Simon and Baz - Obviously. As stated at the top of this post, I love @vkelleyart’s version of this card, but there are a lot of scenes across the series that could be used to illustrate this archetype. I personally always love to see the original “and then he kisses me” scene.

7 The Chariot - Fiona Pitch - I struggled with this one a bit and I don’t really think that this is the ideal version. But the image of Fiona, rolling up to Blackfriars bridge in her vintage sports car to rescue Baz from the Numpties really stuck with me so that’s what I went with, for lack of a better idea.

8 Strength - Ebb - Ebb is often dismissed and underestimated by other magicians but she is wicked powerful. But more than that, the Strength card is about inner strength, self control and the wisdom to know when to fight, and when to rest. Ebb is highly intuitive about the people - and goats - around her and is always careful not to talk about her twin brother, only conceding that she knows of his presence once a year and never giving in to the temptation to talk directly to him. Ebb saw the war coming and knew that she could probably end it all by herself with the power she had; but she also knew that she didn’t want that and she had the strength to say no, to eschew the expectations the rest of the World of Mages placed upon her and live quietly, instead. Visual prompt: Ebb in the hills behind the school with the goats, she wears a flower crown that the Dryad made her.

9 The Hermit - Agatha - the Hermit eschews the outside world in order to take an inner journey of self discovery, knowing that this is the only way to find real answers and achieve real growth. Agatha, jaded by the World of Mages, took herself off to California, leaving her wand at home. She didn’t know what she wanted but she knew it wasn’t magic. Visual prompt: Agatha sits on the beach at twilight by a small campfire, Lucy the Cavalier King Charles Spaniel by her side.

10 The Wheel of Fortune - The Crucible - The Crucible’s decisions, like the Wheel’s, are unpredictable and inevitable. Once it’s happened, you’re stuck with the consequences - sometimes bad (being stuck with a toff vampire who hates you) and sometimes good (getting the best room in Mummers house).

11 Justice - Natasha Grimm-Pitch - Natasha needed justice to find peace; her whole story is about justice. She was swift to act when the vampires attacked Watford, dispatching them without hesitation. When she came through the veil to find Baz and ask him to bring her murderer to justice, she knew that would also provide some closure for him, too, both for her death, and for his. Visual prompt: Natasha Grimm-Pitch appearing from beyond the veil, looking for Baz and finding Simon.

12 The Hanged One - Nicodemus - The Hanged One is about feeling stuck, but also about finding peace where you are when there’s nothing you can do about it. Nicodemus chose to cross over for eternal life, but he was stricken from the book; his (considerable) magic effectively taken from him and his fangs removed. He was stuck in between - not a full vampire, not a magician; he exists on the fringes of both communities. He got himself there and then he had to figure out how to get by, carve out a place for himself in order to survive. Visual prompt: Nicodemus sits in the tree in the garden of his mother’s house in South London, waiting for Ebb to come and sit on the empty bench beneath him.

13 Death - [scene on the Great Lawn] - Ok, so.. this might need some explaining. My immediate thought for this card was that it should be the Humdrum but Death is all about clearing out the old junk in your life that doesn’t serve you in order to make space for the new. And the Humdrum isn’t making space for anything. So I was thinking about times that has happened in the story and I thought about how the death of the Mage made room for real progress and an end to the war with the old families. Visual prompt: Penny and Baz (literally) run into a fleeing Agatha on the Great Lawn; the Weeping Tower looms in the background, the Mage and Simon visible through the blown-out stained glass windows.

14 Temperance - Simon and the Humdrum - Temperance is, as you might expect, about balance and harmony. Simon used so much magic at once that he couldn’t control it and it tore holes in the magickal atmosphere. Simon had to fill the Simon-shaped hole to restore equalibrium and stop the magickal firmament from collapsing altogether. Visual prompt: Simon kneeling in the Weeping Tower, pouring his magic into the Humdrum as he fades away.

15 The Devil - Smith Smith-Richards - The Devil is about feeling trapped by temptations in your life, often because we’re afraid of what we would do with the freedom we’d have if we let them go. Which got me thinking about Smith-Richards (that name never gets any less ridiculous) and all the magicians who were taken in by the temptation of “fixing” their magic. But it was a false promise and those magicians who narrowly escaped taking Smith-Richards’ spell were all freed from the idea of their magic being “broken” in the first place. Visual prompt: Smith-Richards (looking like the guy who would be cast to play Simon in the Netflix series) standing on a stage in the packed-out White Chapel, rapt audience hanging on his every word.

16 The Tower - The Humdrum - Originally I wanted to use the Weeping Tower for this card because the imagery is on point but the meaning doesn’t match. The Tower is about absolute destruction, the crumbling of something you thought core to your being. The Humdrum steals magic and renders magicians homeless because of it. The Tower is about having to start again from the ground up - just as the Grimms did when all the magic was drained from Hampshire. Visual prompt: The Humdrum, wearing Simon’s face, stands in the grounds of Pitch Manor, laughing. (I have always thought of the holes looking like a burn in a piece of paper - sort of glowing and smouldering at the edges as it eats away the atmosphere. I know the holes can’t actually be seen - the Normals would freak out - but that is imagery I would use here)

17 The Star - Lady Ruth’s candles - The Star is about hope and healing after the devastation of the Tower. Lady Ruth’s candles were a symbol of hope that kept her going when she thought she had lost her children. They provided comfort and, at the end when it became clear the Lucy was gone, the healing of knowing that her child had finally found his way home to his family. Visual prompt: Lady Ruth’s candles in front of a window, a bright star can be seen through the window.

18 The Moon - Agatha and Simon - So, the Moon is all about examining blurred lines between illusion and reality - nothing looks totally clear in the moonlight. It reminded me of how Simon never really seemed to have a clear view of his feelings for Agatha and what their relationship was. When he properly examined his feelings, he found that he didn’t love Agatha and was going through the motions because he thought it was what other people expected of him. Agatha was doing the same. It also brought to mind Simon, going out of his mind worrying about Baz when he was missing - as well as basically every other thought Simon ever has about Baz before Christmas Eve 2015 - and somehow mistaking it for hating him?? Simon is not stupid but sometimes he’s real dumb. Visual prompt: Agatha and Simon meet on the ramparts, both looking for Baz, and break up.

19 The Sun - Simon - This card is all about innocence, optimism and joy. Nothing about this series personifies this more than Simon flying above Shepard’s truck in America, feeling free and hopeful about the future for the first time in over a year. Visual prompt: Shepard’s truck drives through the vast empty desert, the sun beating down. Simon flies above the truck, joy on his face.

20 Judgement - Niamh and Agatha - Ok, this one was hard to figure out and this is maybe not the right solution, but I was very stuck. Judgement is about self improvement through self reflection. As a small twist on that theme; Niamh and Agatha challenge each other’s view of themselves and their interactions with the world around them. Visual prompt: Agatha and Niamh, sweating to death in Niamh’s “shitty Ford Fiesta” (I’m very salty about that line; my Ford Fiesta is lovely and it has aircon). Niamh is frowning, obviously.

21 The World - Simon, Baz, Penny and Shepard - The World is about completeness, the ending of a story, fulfilment and belonging. At the end of AWTWB, Simon has finally found his biological family, he is starting to accept that his boyfriend and his found family love him for who he is, magic or no, and he can finally start to imagine a future for himself. Baz has learned new information about his vampirism, Penny has found new confidence and Shepard is finally fully accepted into the group. Visual prompt: Baz, Penny and Shepard sit on Simon’s sofa (possibly still pink from Baz’s spell, possibly he spelled it navy blue again) Simon sits on the floor. They’re all eating leftover sandwiches and cake from Lady Ruth’s.