#erased every bit of our found family and completely started us over for no reason

[devils-little-sista]

.

[joshslater]

Dionysus

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I was very hesitant when he picked me up at the nightclub. I could feel the disappointment and outright hostility from all the women and a lot of the men as the God walked up to me, started to make out, and then asked if I was up for some fun. That's what you get away with when no one ever says "no" I thought. With his incredibly handsome face, black hair, and athletic build that was probably not a word he was used to hearing. It would be impossible for him to know I was into guys, and coming on so strong could land you in hot water or rather knocked cold on the floor. Turns out he could know, and there was more to him than just utter handsomeness and unparalleled confidence. Way more.

It was back at his place he asked me if I could look like someone else, who would I pick? That's a game I've played many times before, so I instantly knew to answer Marco Albieri, the soccer player. He raised an eyebrow, took a step from me, and asked me why. "I don't know what it is about soccer players, but something about the game makes their bodies stunningly handsome. And Marco is just a step above the rest." He smiled a bright smile, made a dramatic gesture, and I was Marco. Looked exactly like him at least. It took me a moment to even realize what had just happened, but I could see myself in the full-length mirror. Or I couldn't, I should say. I saw Marco Albieri in full Paris Saint-Germain F.C. game kit. Mesmerized I took a step closer to the mirror, and Marco on the other side of the glass stepped closer as well. I looked just like him, my wettest, wankiest dream. I'd come so many times to exactly this fantasy. There was even a sheen of post-game sweat making all the skin glistening in his hallway designer lights.

He approached me from behind, still handsome but now by a much narrower margin. "You ready to fuck?" I didn't even answer but just turned around and kissed him. He wasn't shy in grouping me back. What followed was the longest fuck fest I've ever been part of. We went from room to room. It was like this body had limitless stamina, though it was the body of Marco after all, but an insatiable horny lust as well. Perhaps he had that too. It wasn't until early morning I fell asleep next to him, exhausted.

It was almost noon when I woke up, disoriented by everything. It was like it wasn't until now the craziness and impossibility of last night hit me. I could see Marco Albieri in the mirror at the other side of the bedroom, without shirt, and the most unkempt hair I had ever seen him with. I knew for a fact the secret hairstyling trick was body fluids. I suddenly felt very uneasy and exposed. Vulnerable even. I was here on vacation. How could I leave if I didn't look like my passport? How could I leave this building looking like Marco? There would be fans stopping me instantly. What the fuck am I thinking about? I'm erased from the world. No one I know, no one in my family would recognize me. Could I convince them I'm me and not a millionaire soccer player? Perhaps. But my life would be so complicated.

That's when he lazily strolled into the bedroom, completely naked showing off his chiseled body, one mug in each hand.

"You did this! How the fuck did you do this? You can't leave me like this!" "Morning!"

He handed me one of the mugs. On reflex I took a large sip of coffee only to discover it was red wine. It took me by surprise and I almost sprayed his white sheets with red mist of wine, but instead got some down my lungs and started to cough.

"Is this really the best you can think of?" he said. At first I had no idea what he meant. Then, still coughing, I realized it was my body again. The one I used to fly here, check into the hotel, and go out to nightclubs with.

"I... It's awfully inconvenient if I tried to leave with a different body." "That's it? That's the only reason?"

I felt stupid and unsure what to say. I liked my body, so why was it so hard to defend it? He took a large sip from his coffee mug of wine and climbed into bed next to me, but standing on his knees looking down on me.

"When's your flight back?" "Eh, in... On Sunday." "Plenty of time to let loose. How about going to the beach like this?"

This time I noticed the shift. The bed sagged down a bit under the extra load and I didn't even have to look in the mirror to see the freakish muscles. Two huge chest muscles peeked into my field of vision, and moving my arm I could see it was thicker than what my legs used to be.

I felt light-headed as we walked down to the beach. Probably the wine. He was subtle and classy, black Nike sneakers, black boardshorts, and a white T-shirt. I was anything but subtle. Probably twice his mass, annoying flip flops that flipped and flopped every step, white compression shorts that looked blindingly bright against my deep tan, a purple thong that peeked up over the rim of the shorts by the hips, visible because the neon yellow tank top was cropped above the belly button to show off the abs. The stringer waved for every step as my obscene pecs push out the yellow fabric like a hanging flag. It touched my body in surprisingly few places. Top of the traps and the nipples more or less.

After spending a few hours getting everyone passing by on the beach to turn their heads to observe the freak show he asked me to play floatation device for him. We went out in the water and did our best to have sex just outside where the waves broke. I think anyone who paid close attention could tell what we did, but no one could be really sure. He didn't appear to care.

"I made you something," he whispered. "What?" "A surfer," he said and begun walking towards the beach. As I wiped my long hair out of my face I understood he changed me again. No more shaved head, no more enormous meat slab. I still had a six-pack, I was still 6'-something, and my skin was deeply tanned, but that's about where the similarities ended. "Why?" I asked as I lied down on the beach towel next to his. "First dive bar opens soon, and I thought this would play better to the crowd." I was feeling woozy. "We want to play to the crowd?" He reached over and squeezed the pec closest to him. "Well, make them jealous at least."

There was something nagging at the edge of my thoughts. Some question I felt I needed to ask. I just couldn't quite put it into coherent thought.

"Did you drug me?" He made a high-pitched "Mmmm" sound. "Just a bit. To fit with the rest. Just go with it."

I shut my eyes, relaxed, and let his hand stroke me. I don't know how long we lied like that. Not too long, because the sun hadn't moved that much, but I sure did dozed off.

"Come on!" he said, like it was asking me to hurry up for the third time. A bit confused I got up from the beach towel. I wore a pair of eye-popping turquoise board shorts with black pattern and trim. Neon turquoise, if such a color was a thing. I knew it had a real trade name, but somehow it kept slipping my mind. They had a good fit, not loose, not tight, but rode low on my lithe body. Fuzzy pubes peeked out over the waistband, like a little forest edge where the treasure trail from the belly button ended. I looked around for a shirt or something to put on, but there was nothing except for a pair of flip-flops. These didn't look as cheap and fit much better than the previous pair though.

"Is that it?" I asked incredulously. "What more do you need?" he said, and looked at me like he wanted me for dinner. "Come!"

The bar wasn't far away and already busy when we arrived. He almost danced in, basically dragging me in, holding my hand. I was woozy from whatever I was drugged with, but in a way that made everything look amazing to me. In any direction I looked I was delighted by what I saw, no matter how mundane. The bar was not even half full and everyone looked as relaxed as you would expect from a bar half a block from the beach, though no one else was bare-chested. The decor was a random mix of styles, as expected by a dive bar. Tables for two or four were lined up in front of the bar at the back of the room. From a backroom somewhere behind it pumped music. I looked at my watch to see if it was already dance time, but I was only wearing a red nylon cord as a bracelet.

"You must be thirsty after a day in the sun," he said and handed me an Aperol Spritz. I could have sworn he hadn't left me for the bar, but then I didn't really trust my senses. We took a table for four and sat next to each other, facing the rest of the room. "So, tell me about your day," he continued, as if he hadn't been there for all of it.

For whatever reason I found it hard to figure out where to start, like it was all jumbled together despite nothing of consequence had happened. I began to describe how I had woken up in bed and how he surprised me with breakfast. How I had mistaken the red wine for coffee. I could feel his hand moving down my abs and into my board shorts. As he pulled out my erect cock from the shorts my immediate thought was of surprise. I hadn't realized I was hard. I continued to talk about how we went to the beach, while he was jerking me off with one hand under the table. It then hit me that I had no idea what my dick looked like, if it was big or small. I had never seen it. He had transformed me somehow into this surfer. How could I have forgotten something so monumental.

At that point I shot my load under the table. Four or five large pumps. I was suddenly aware again that there were people around us, and looking around tried to figure out if any of them could see I had my dick out. At the same time I was still feeling high or whatever it was. "I'll get a refill," he said, stood up and headed for the bar. I decided to put my dick back into the shorts.

"Hey, dude. Is he like your boyfriend?" someone standing next to me asked. How long had he been there? He was handsome, not quite as tall as I was now, but more muscled. The tight billabong shirt didn't hide much. "Him? No. We just..." I was trying to think of a good word. I wasn't sure what he was, or what was happening at all really. "Wanna check out the dance floor?" "Yeah... Yeah, I would."

I followed him towards the bar, and away to the side into the dance room. It was far from packed, but we were not alone at least. Immediately I regretted following him there, even before he started moving to the music. Once he did I knew I would look silly. I started to mimic his moves best I could. He smiled a crooked smile, though not an unkind one, when he saw what I was doing. He leaned forward and barely audible over the music asked "Are you up for a second round?"

"What do you mean?" I asked back. "I saw what that other dude did to you. I live nearby, if you want to try something that isn't over in minutes."

In the door opening I see him standing with two large drinks in his hands. He looks emotionless, which in itself was a scary contrast to how he looked before. He then drinks one of the drinks in one go, then immediately empties the other one as well. No sooner has he turned away with two empty glasses when I feel a desperate need to take a piss. He's fucking with me.

"Don't go anywhere," I say and dash towards to men's room.

It's empty. I go to the lone urinal and yank my dick out of the white thong. I'm confused, but happy I got there in time to relieve myself. Why am I wearing only a white thong to a bar? As the piss is streaming for longer than I can ever recall I look down my bare smooth legs and find a pair of eye-catching red hightops. When I'm finally done I have a look at myself in the mirror. Cute, young Latino boy with a red baseball cap on his unkempt hair, and a grey shirt. The shirt in a way makes the thong stand out even more and look intentionally inappropriate. Perfect!

I return to the dance floor and find the guy waiting. "There you are. Let's go!" he says, almost demanding. He doesn't say anything on the way to his apartment two blocks away. I keep looking his way, and it feels like my dick is growing bigger every time I look at those muscled arms. His pace is brisk without being conspicuous, he clearly wants us to get to his place as quickly as possible without being seen. In through an unlocked entrance, up two flights of stairs, and in through his apartment door.

As soon as he whisked me in and closed the door behind us he grabs me, shoves me into the wall next to us, and forcefully kisses me on my mouth. "You fucking whore! I'm so fucking horny you better know what you're doing."

He snores loudly again. I had tried to ignore it to spend a few more hours in the bed, but it's getting pointless to try to sleep any more. I carefully get up and get dressed. No need for a shower, now that everything dried. I make a final check I got everything with me that I brought in. There is that nagging feeling that I'm missing something. Well, whatever it was it can't be important. Quietly I exit his apartment and make my way out of the building. I feel restless being so quiet and calm, like it is unnatural for me to be that way. I basically explode in emotions as I exit the building and literally dance down the last few steps.

I try to think what to do next. My mind is like a spinning punch bowl of thoughts and I'm only able to fish out simple verbs. Party! Drink! Dance! Fuck! The sun is barely up, but perhaps I can find some nightclub still open.

[razorblade180]

Interdimensional Moms: Bonus

Part 4 here<-

After many tears and tissue boxes, all members of team RWBY had finally stopped crying. Blake was the best off with her eyes a little red while Ruby was the complete opposite. The girl’s face was still rather red and her eyes were puffy. She hadn’t even completely stopped sniffling yet; much like tear marked partner. Yang on the other hand rested her head on the table. She had cried hard enough to giver herself a minor headache. She was completely drained.

Yang:Ugh, this blows! I thought this was gonna be a fun learning experience.

Blake:We definitely learned. It just so happens we had to poke at some.... extremely sensitive topics.

Weiss:I’m all for looking inward and self reflection but I’ve had my fill.

Ruby:Same. Should’ve kept the summary light.

Yang:No, I’m glad you got that off your chest. We just need a way to lighten the mood.

Blake:.....I kicked Weiss’s butt in a tournament.

RWY:......What?

Blake:During the time spent training for Salem, another tournament was held between the schools. It had team matches and singles. I kicked Weiss’s butt in my fourth round. It was a good day.

Weiss:How is that lightening mood!?

Blake:Listen, it was a big deal! I never thought I was gonna win the whole tournament but I really wanted to beat you. I love you but your head gets a little big when you’re on a roll for too long; plus I just really didn’t want to lose. I always felt a bit of rivalry between us.

Yang:Hehe, is that you’re way of saying “It would look bad to lose to a Schnee?”

Blake:Well it would!

Ruby:Hehehe.

Yang:Wait, does that mean we went back to school?

Blake:Yeah. It was pretty comforting. There was definitely a lot left to learn.

Yang:Weird. School kinda faded into the background.

Ruby:I went back to school. We all did actually. It was fast tracked by roughly a year but it was fun. We all got to pose in caps and gowns.

Weiss:Damn! I should’ve went back just for that. Unfortunately I was busy making rent and learning how to properly preheat a oven.

Yang:It’s like two buttons.

Weiss:Gas stove, and six years out of date.

Yang:Awww, you had to learn the hard way. I’m surprised and thankful you never left the gas on.

Weiss:There’s an alarm for that. Also I’m not irresponsible! Anyways, I mentioned similar tournaments earlier. I didn’t participate much but enough old videos of me in them were enough for to really light a fire under my kids. For awhile I was a bit concerned that they were just following a trend but they really love it. They used to always go around playing like knights when they were tiny.

Ruby:Carmine was a little different. She definitely always tried doing things I could but nothing got the girl jumping like seeing Yang’s horses or new ballet shoes. There wasn’t a morning when I didn’t hear a vase fall over or seeing her spin like a top. Carmine still hums some old routines when she isn’t paying attention.

Yang:Not too many memories of Yujin when she was pint size. But I do remember that wild child always loved using my bandannas for everything! Napkins, capes, ropes; anything but an actual bandanna. I used to get a bit upset with the napkin one but she’d always look at me with her big eyes and crazy hair. I never stayed mad.

Weiss:Softie.

Yang:She was like a pudgy puff ball! Fat cheeks and wholesome smiles. Ah! So adorable!

Weiss:I used to always have at least one of my kids on my hip when I was out and about. I think the media has a magazine amount of pictures of me at the park kissing my babies. Summer liked tummy rubs. She’d never go to sleep without one. Some nights I’d sing too but start to doze off so Jaune would have to take over.

Yang:*smiles* Speaking of Jaune.....

Ruby:No.

Yang:You don’t even know what I was-

Ruby:Were you about to suggest we compare our Jaune’s in the bedroom?

Yang:*red*......Well not just the bedroom! What’s the harm!? I just wanna know if he’s consistent across the board. No need to get detailed.

Weiss:You really never change no matter the world.

Yang:Can’t change greatness. It shows in any form!

Blake:He’s pretty compliant and accommodating. The benefits of being his first when I had prior knowledge I suppose.

Ruby:Don’t answer!

Blake:Why not? I’m comfortable with it.

Yang:Don’t listen to those two Blake. They’re just a bit more embarrassed since Jaune has literally been their one and only.

Blake:Huh, I never thought about it like that. Jaune would’ve been the first person you two opened up to on such a level; especially Weiss.

Yang:That’s still hilarious. All the protesting and somehow you found yourself stripping for the guy.

Weiss:Shut up! I already know! It was....I.... *blushing* emotions ran really high.

Ruby:An entire mental rollercoaster of thoughts and firsts happening all at once. Anxiety was high.

Yang:Heh, so you could say that Jaune Arc-

RW:Got through our walls. Hardy har har.

Yang:Shit, I am the same in every universe. Well I don’t have any reservations about it! *grinning* He makes me feel special every time!

Blake:Bottom.

Yang:I’m ignoring you.🎶

Ruby:Hehe, sounds about right. He...might make me feel a bit special as well.

Blake:Switch.

Ruby:How can you just guess off of that!?

Blake:It’s a gift.

Weiss:......

Blake:*smiling*

Weiss:Leave me alone.

Blake:I don’t know what has you embarrassed. You told us you’ve slept with everyone here except Ruby! I knew you were repressed but geez.

Weiss:For your information it wasn’t my idea! It was yours!

Blake:Not surprising. Let’s switch the topic. How is this other child of mine? Can’t picture me having a daughter.

Weiss:Veronica is very sensitive. Even if she tries to act like she isn’t. One time when she was tiny, a soccer ball hit her straight in the face and she sprung up saying “I’m fine!” Then you took her behind the bleachers to patch her up; tears all on her face. It both breaks my heart and very adorable to see her act fine while her ears are folded back.

Ruby:Your other son Kovu was a bit of cry baby. Partly my fault. Carmine kept beating him up and making fun of him.

Blake:What!?

Yang:Ha! Wait, that’s my kid too. How the heck!? Are you telling me you raised the rowdy child and I got the baby?

Ruby:Yang you’re a baby. I’m like twice as rowdy compared to you. A nevermore got worked day one at school.

Weiss:She has a point. You cry the most out of any of us.

Yang:Wha- that not- how....shut up! *pouts* I’m not that touchy.

Ruby:Kovu is a sweetie and not a cry baby. Carmine is just a little mean when she tries to care about others. She beat him up in an attempt to make Kovu give up dreaming about being a huntsman. That way he wouldn’t be in such a dangerous job. Reasonable logic but you know, a little over the top. Almost broke his arm. Boy did I chew her out. All it did was make him want to try harder.

Yang:Fantastic. I shouldn’t expect less from my own blood. I bet Yujin would like him. Which reminds me, anybody have kids in relationships?

RWB:We’re working on it.

The three women paused briefly before laughing at their meddling. Yang could only admire and fear her friends.

Yang:Should I be scared for your children?

Blake:Lucas needs someone to break up the routine in his life. I’m not saying he has to date her, but it would put a smile on my face.

Ruby:Carmine takes after me, not really thinking about stuff like relationships much. However, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t at all. Carmine tries her best to not act like she’s a teenaged girl with teenage wishes. But everyone sees right through it. I’m fine with her not being in one but I would like if she acknowledged that it’s okay to just....ugh, be normal! Why can nobody have normal knees in my life!?

Weiss:Nick likes Valerie who tries to deny she likes him by liking Summer, who doesn’t like her; while Veronica crushes on Nick who obviously has conflicting feelings.

RBY.....

Yang:Why is it always complicated with you?

Weiss:How is this my fau- okay it is a little bit.

Blake:Where do you stand?

Weiss:I think Valerie would be lovely for him.

Yang:What’s wrong with my baby girl!?

Blake:Yeah!?

Weiss:One, not yours. Two, have you met who I’m married to? Can’t really say he’s wasting his efforts. Though I wouldn’t be upset with Veronica. I think those two might be good for each other.

Blake:Any other bombshells people got?

Ruby:......

Ruby:Ilia is happily married.*sips coffee*

Blake:Oh that’s wonderful! I’m glad she found a loving wi-

Ruby:*smirks* To Sun.

Blake:....*stands up* I need, champagne!

A bottle of champagne poofs into existence with several glasses. Blake immediately pours everyone a glass before raising hers into the sky.

Blake:Ruby Rose, today you’ve erased guilt upon my conscious. I’m happy there’s one world where it seems all of my good exes get over me.

Ruby:Are the Ilia and Sun where you’re from miserable like Yang!?

Blake:No, but they kinda fumble in actually going for relationships. It just always makes me feel a little bad.

Yang:You can technically count two worlds. I’m fine, Ilia is dating a pretty secretary, and your one evil ex is now raising a morally good family.

Blake:You’re right! This calls for a double toast! To alternate universes! *puts glass down*

Weiss:Haha, aren’t you gonna drink it!?

Blake:No I’m still recovering; but how could I pass up the opportunity!? Man I wish I could attend that wedding! I don’t know if I’d be a bridesmaid or the best man!

Yang:You’re just gonna steal Neptune’s thunder like that?

Blake:Hey, Sun and I have taken bullets for each other and stab wounds. I think I deserve to be a little greedy and say I ride or die for that man just a little harder than Neptune.

Ruby:Geeeeeez Blake! Haha, I didn’t even tell you about the baby.

Blake:*visble excitement* Excuse me!?

RWY:*raises glass* Cheers.

Blake:CHEERS! What’s he like!?

xxxxx

Aero:AAAACHOOOO!

Carmine:Eugh! Cover your mouth! I don’t need to get sick.

Aero:Damn! What happened to uh I don’t know, “bless you!?”

Carmine:*pulls out tissues* Happy?

Aero:Where...why are those in you book bag?

Carmine:It’s flu season.

Aero:....I can’t tell if you’re the coolest person around or just a second mother.

Carmine:I can be both. My mom is arguably both but don’t tell her that. It’ll make her month and she’ll hug me too tight.

Aero:Bitch, you love hugs. Stop being difficult.

Carmine:Mmmm nah.

Aero:I feel bad for your mom.

Carmine:I feel bad for yours.

Aero:Hop off. You’re so childish.

Carmine:And yet you love me.

Aero:*red* In your dreams!

Carmine:It would make your day if I dreamed about you,wouldn’t it?

Aero:I hope you dream of spiders.

Carmine:We do not joke about that! *grabs him* Aero I will beat you up if I dream of them tonight! That’s just mean!

Aero:Stop crying ya baby. I could’ve said they were- ow!

Sun:*hitting him* Shut up and just kiss something! We’re trying to watch a game.

Aero and Carmine:We don’t like each other!

Jaune:With all do respect, that’s a lie. But please by all means Aero, continue not touching my daughter if you know what’s best for you. I don’t wanna have to fight you and your parents right afterwards.

Sun:Ilia would kill you.

Jaune:Yeah! That’s why I don’t want the fight! Much like Ruby, she’s short and terrifying. Her size holds the rage.

Ilia:*peeks in* Who’s talking shit?

JASC:Nobody, we love you!

Ilia:.....Got my eyes on you four. *holds Garnet up* and this one; the most well behaved in this bunch even with no nap.

Garnet:*fussy grumbling* I’m a ball of rage!

Ilia:You wanna nap?

Garnet:Yes!!!

Ilia:See, behaved. *walks away* don’t make me come back out here.

Carmine:....So do you like me because your mother is also imposing?

Aero:This is it, my evil origin story. It begins today.

xxxxx

Ruby:I admire his patience.

[ethrenisnotthehero]

@hogwartsmystory is a predator (final)

If you haven’t read the other parts of this callout, I encourage you to start here. As in both previous posts, the normal tags are not included in order to allow this to reach as many people as possible. Potential triggers are listed below, and the main content is hidden to keep sensitive individuals from being unintentionally exposed.

TW: Pedophilia, Abuse, Gaslighting, Sexual Assault, Self Harm, Suicide, NSFW Topics, Faked Illness, Faked Mental Illness, Faked Death, Victim Blaming

Originally, I intended to craft this final part to you, the reader, as an emotional appeal. To be wholly honest, there’s only so much evidence that can be utilized without either forcing Jill to relive unnecessary trauma or exposing deeply intimate or personal parts of her life. Until now, everything I’ve told you and everything I’ve shown you is what was enough to convince me when Jill first reached out to me. If you, the reader, don’t believe the factual information that’s been presented so far, then I don’t think that you will. If you, the reader, believe Jill and her story, then no further evidence is going to magically make her story more true.

However, I don’t have to. Instead, I can let the friends-- the family--that Ren created on his website speak for themselves, and show you with their own testimony just the kind of person he was. Jill wasn’t the only person that Ren hurt. Jill wasn’t even the only person Ren preyed on as a sexual predator. Many people on staff, and many people outside of it, knew Ren and grew to have what they thought was a close relationship with him. People regarded him as someone to look up to, to find comfort in, to aspire after, to lean on; people thought of him as a friend and a hero in his community.

On April 12, 2021, at 9:57 AM Greenwhich Mean Time, the current administrators of Advanced Scribes issued a statement addressing Ren’s actions and his faked death. An additional announcement was made the following day. While the announcements themselves and the replies (including moderator statements) are publicly available, I have saved a print-to-PDF versions on Google for you to browse at your leisure. 

I intentionally waited until the initial panic and outrage died out a little to let the most important statements come to light. Included in the PDF are sentiments that I personally thought were the most important sentiments; edits have been made and pages have been deleted, so you can see the current state of the conversations by visiting them directly. You can find the first discussion at https://advanced-scribes.com/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=42100#p1454263 and the second discussion at https://advanced-scribes.com/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=42107#p1454361.

Before you continue reading, please look over the statements and replies. The words of former staff former friends say more than I can ever hope to about Ren and the kind of reality that he stood for. Additionally, Jill herself has added to the conversation (username Rakuen), so you can read a bit from her perspective by looking into these announcements. After you’ve taken a look, continue below and I will sum up my final thoughts on this predator and his legacy.

Advanced Scribes • Our Statement (PDF)

Advanced Scribes • Change (PDF)

The Act of Grooming, Part 3: Entrapment

One of the reasons that predators get away with their crimes for so long is because they trap their victims. When they gain access to and successfully lure in their prey, they then engage in entrapment behavior to separate victims from other people and build reliance. The reason why kids are so prone to predation is because of how vulnerable they are. Young people just want to belong. They just want to have community, security, and affection. When they can’t get those things in their lives, they seek it out and take it where they can get it even when the situation is obviously bad. Kids can’t be held accountable for being smart because they’re kids. Jill was vulnerable. She wanted belonging and support. She fell into Ren’s lures, and he trapped her. He used his affection as a tool to solicit sexual favors and pictures from her, but never shared his face with her. She was always chasing his love, and all the while he was simultaneously preying on other individuals in the community. For God’s sake, this man had a selfie thread where underage girls would send pictures of themselves publicly on the site for him to look at, and he even intentionally disabled the website’s COPPA features.

Before Jill, there was Buttercup. Buttercup was also an admin, and she was also 13 when she met Ren. While Ren was a minor during he and Buttercup’s relationship, his behavior with her was just as predatory and Buttercup attempted to warn Jill via PM before she ended her relationship with him.

The picture he sent Buttercup wasn’t even him.

The entire time that Ren was convincing Jill that Buttercup was evil, and jealous, and a spiteful, hateful person, he was manipulating her the same way he was manipulating Jill. Ren is a predator who knows what he’s doing; he always has. He draws in his victims and makes everyone hate them so that he’s the only person they have. He makes them so desperate for his approval that they let him screw them over time and time again, and for what? Just to see his face. Think about what you read. He didn’t just do this to Jill and Buttercup. He did this to every person he cheated with or got close enough to get a grip on. Even if he didn’t sexually exploit someone, he emotionally did. An entire community of people suffered through this over and over and over again. Read the statements again. If you only read the live version, read the PDF. 

I also want you to bear in mind that everyone on staff was equally a victim as they were an enabler. It doesn’t erase their responsibility, but their roles in this story or more nuanced than “moderator bad, burn the witch!” Some of Ren’s supporters were as young or younger than Jill when they met him. The two people most notorious for standing at his side right now were both “rewarded” with a relationship with him in the fallout of his faked death.  

At some point, this man looked at his behavior and not only decided that he didn’t need to take responsibility, but that his victims daring to try and claim some kind of ownership over their own story was a personal affront to him. 

Ren is a monster of his own creation. He chose to be that monster again, and again, and again.

What makes his enablers equally to blame is when they became adults and made a conscious choice to ignore what was happening, which brings us to the next topic.

Finally... How Old Was Jill?

Despite everything I’ve said and shared so far, I still get this question in my inbox.

How old was Jill? Did she lie about her age? Is she free of guilt because she was a kid? Did he know how old she was? Was she legal in her country?

I gave you all everything I had. There were some things I just couldn’t confirm because there was no proof either way. However, all of that changed when the announcements were released. I now know exactly how old Jill was when they began dating, exactly how old she was when people knew about their relationship, and even that Ren was public with all of this information. I also know that staff knew everything, and chose to do nothing.

As you can see in the screenshots above of Buttercup’s message, it was sent on Jun 17, 2015. At that time, Jill was 14 years old. By Buttercup’s estimation, they had been dating for around a few months, which is how I was able to discern the previous exact age of 14 years old at the time they began dating.

However, Ren himself refutes that fact in a Valentine’s post for Jill. As pointed out in the “Our Statement” thread, the post that user amnesia. references includes very sexual and disgustingly graphic descriptions of Ren’s activity with her. It also says this:

As per the timestamp of this particular post (as seen below), Jill was 16 at the time. Ren, a man claiming to be twenty-five years old at the time, was proud to admit that he had been with Jill since she was 13.

You can view the full PDF of this post to see what else he said here, but please be warned that his descriptions are NSFW and absolutely disgusting. 

Warm Fuzzies Post (PDF)

No adult should talk about a kid like that. In the statements, several staff members admit that they knew that the two were dating when she was 16, and that it grossed them out. But none of them did anything. To amnesia.’s credit, they claim they tried to pursue legal action but found no viable routes. 

From the discussions and statements, we can discern five things:

1. Jill was 13 when she started dating Ren. 2. She did not lie about her age. 3. Ren did not lie about her age. 4. Ren knew how old she was. 5. Staff knew how old she was.

Jill’s feelings and her opinions on staff and their behavior are separate from my own. She does not share my beliefs here, and I need to make it very clear that what I’m saying next is entirely my own opinion.

To everyone who was staff at that time: shame on you. It’s one thing to be a victim yourself and to not understand how or when to stand up for what’s right, especially when you’re young; it’s another to become an adult and to have let something like this permeate your legacy and your community for all this time. From what I understand, none of you are completely innocent in this. Ren wasn’t secret, he was loud and proud and he didn’t give a shit what anyone thought. Everyone who was an adult then and is an adult now shares some responsibility for that. Those of you who mean your apologies, thank you, but those of you who are using this event as a stepping stone to make that website into your own personal playground know who you are. Stop. There’s an entire generation of kids between AS and CS who have lost years of their childhoods to this shit and the only right thing at this point would be to turn the site over to the police so that Ren can answer for his crimes the right way.

To everyone else: protect the people around you. People like Ren don’t think about how other people think or feel. They don’t care who gets hurt or who they trample under their feet. Look around at your community, and ask yourself if those who interact with you know that you are safe. Inevitably, someone is going to get hurt. Are you the kind of person that they can come to when it happens, or are you the kind of person who will turn your head away? 

Be the person that everyone knows they can come to, because, eventually, someone’s going to need you.

[kissme-hs]

Tainted love: 3

Here it is!! I’m so sorry it took me so long to update it but let me know what you think! Hope you enjoy it.

~Ria

Pairing: Fem! Reader x Chris Evans

Warnings: None.

*_*_*_*_*_*

Hatred is far from the feeling you felt. You were disgusted. Utterly disgusted with the man you put your trust and faith and your heart into who did nothing but took it for granted and it all into little crumbs of pain. All this time you blamed yourself for HIS actions that he not only did while being in his complete sense but knowing how wrong it is-continued doing it. The image you had of Chris in your mind now vanished, the man you once thought deserved to be prayed now made your stomach churn because of how shameful he turned out to be.

After sending him the text you thought, oh you thought that he would realize what he lost, that he would feel a little bit at least of regret in the back of his head but you were so wrong. It not only made you feel worthless but made you realize instead how your love meant nothing to him, how all those years you spent in each other’s arm vowing to each other to be in love until the end of time was nothing but a lie to him. Where to you it meant your entire life.

One doesn’t stay with a person for three years not to just fuck and say I love you’s for fun. With the years the feelings grow strong and at some point, you start fantasizing marrying that person, having kids with the person, grow old with the person. But when one decides to go and cheat, putting all the years of love in ignorance and throwing it all in the pit of darkness not only everything changes but the dreams once knitted by the eyes of the one who remained faithful in love, who was the true lover gets struck by the lightening of reality. And once the dreams crashes, it becomes nearly impossible to dream again because the dreamer starts seeing the real world.

Fuck dreams.

Became your to go motto ever since you knocked on his door.

The heavy teal door opened after a few knocks as you held your breath getting yourself ready to face the man who ripped your heart apart. But instead you were met by a pair of green eyes, gorgeous eyes. She stood there in his hoodie and a pair of short showing her perfect toned legs. Her dirty blonde hair and fuller plumps would made any man lose his girl and go crawling to her. She was an absolute piece of art.

“Chris we have someone here for you” She yelled leaning back a bit so the man could hear her. She gave you a side smile as a gesture of kindness. She was aware she was a homewrecker, she knew how much Chris loved you and she also knew being a good friend she should’ve stopped him when things became a routine between them two but she couldn’t say no to him. Chris would make any women go crawling to him too. She was equally shameful for what she has done not as close to how Chris was feeling but still. So when Chris asked her to come over explaining her what happen which she knew would some day she didn’t hesitate coming over comforting him.

“i-im Samantha” she replied stepping aside letting you step inside of your his house. The smell of familiar cologne and candles hit your nostrils making you tear up from the past good memories. Gi ving her a tiniest sad smile and a nod, you stepped inside of the house. Turning your gaze up to the sound of approaching footsteps you saw the man, and oh sweet jesus you thought you’d hate him but how could you when the feeling of love was always greater than hatred. But the pain crept up when you saw Samantha walking to him and rubbing his side comforting him, though she was guilty, she still at some point enjoyed the attention Chris gave her.

Though she might have a portion of kindness in her heart she was known for breaking homes. She was used to getting in pants of men who were committed. It made her feel special; it made her feel like gold that everyone loved chasing. Especially in this case, knowing what a prize Chris’s girlfriend, you were she was over the moon. She loved how Chris was willing to give up a beautiful woman with a proper job and who had her life sorted for someone who was nothing compared to you.

“Y/n” he breathed out ignoring the woman rubbing his arm. His eyes getting wet seeing your face after days. Jeez only if he could kiss you and tell you how much he missed you and loved you.

“I-im sorry, I’m so sorry” He said walking to you as you raised your hand telling him to stop, which he understood nodding his head and taking a step back. He felt the ache in his heart.

“He really is sorry, he told me everything after you texted him so I came running” Samantha uttered rubbing Chris’s back. It did nothing to you but made your blood boil as you closed your eyes and took a deep breath not wanting to say something which could hurt her feelings. Opening your mouth telling her to leave you heard Chris say that instead.

“Can I ask you to leave please?” He asked her taking a deep breath trying not to yell either.

“I-“

“Get out, get off my property” you spat. You and Chris jointly brought this house so you wouldn’t feel a burden on him being the independent woman you were. Feeling like she was shamed in front of two successful people, Samantha gathered her stuff and left within the next coming minute. Though you were a softie, there was no doubt you has a powerful side too.

“I’m sorry baby, I am so sorry. Please give me a second chance.”

“Why Chris? Why did you cheat on me? Was my love was not enough for you to sleeping with her. Tell me Chris did you not feel a little bit of shame fucking on OUR bed? Tell me why did you have to go and do that making me look like a fool? Why did you waste my time? WHY DID YOU FAKED THE LOVE if you wanted to cheat?” You finally let it out. You were crying at this not giving a fuck. He deserved to see how broken he left you. You were not going to act like everything was fine, like you didn’t care when you felt dead inside.

“No. No baby. Never for once I ever faked my love for you.” He cried cupping your cheeks-you finally let him touch you because you wanted to feel his warmth on your cold skin. His own eyes crying as you sobbed yourself.

“I-I don’t know why I did that. I don’t know why I decided to chase a rock when I had the most precious diamond. She is nothing compared to you. Nothing. I love you so much” He whispered resting his forehead against yours. You knew deep down he meant what he said. You felt the words hitting your body making your knees go week but it was for the best. The separation. So pushing him back slightly you gathered your broken pieces up.

“I just came to tell you that I am moving to California. I will always cherish the good memories you gave me” you gave him a broken smile wiping your tears with the back of your hand.

“No please give me one more chance” Chris pleaded grabbing your hands. His defeated eyes begged yours to give in, to see that he wasn’t lying anymore. That he was truly sorry for what he has done but being the strong headed woman you are, you shook your head and wiped his tears with your hand before cupping his cheek.

“It’s for the best. I still love you, but it’s not the same Chris. Let me let you go”

That was an year ago. An year ago you left the man standing on his porch as you turned your back on his forever, making your way to the new life that waited ahead of you in Los Angeles. The city of angels. The city that gave you a chance to put your words into songs, let your shattered voice sing it in a melody helping you reach out to him without reaching out to him.

And today you stood in front of over 100 amazing successful celebrities who warmly welcomed you in the family of Hollywood and decided to join you for your album launch party. You didn’t hesitate writing down your deepest condolences you had for yourself and singing it out. Every word people heard in the songs came from the bottom of your heart. Came within the true feeling of getting lost and found again.

Getting into the industry wasn’t hard for you. You were already a known person working for Hollywood and it not only being the reason how you met Chris it also gave you an opportunity  to let your talent out. All those months you spent working hard to get acceptance by one of the music producers was the time when Chris was fucking Samantha. Only if he stayed the night you begged him to, he would’ve known it all.

Your album was dedicated to Chris. No one knew expect you. No one could know anyways.

Stepping down the mini platform where you expressed you gratitude to the audience you made your way to where the bar was set up to drink in the emotions that were bubbling up your throat from all the love you received to the pain that still ached in every nerve in your body. It was impossible to erase the memory of him fucking Samantha from your head. You were proud to you say you tried. Tried every way of escaping his face haunting your dreams every night. The feelings choking you down. The pain eating you alive. But you couldn’t.

“What you said there was beautiful.” You heard the deep voice of the man who you left standing on the door of Boston an year ago. Turning your body around, mentally preparing yourself for the wave of mixed emotions to hit you like a truck you faced his adorningly beautiful face. His beard looked fuller and his hair fluffier. He looked the same but his eyes looked dead, just like they were when you left.

“Thank you.” You gave him a broken smile.

“Can we talk? Please?” He asked you with eyes full of hope and you nodded letting him guide you out to the balcony that had the perfect view of the city. He deserved some time with you after an year of you completely blocking him out. He deserved to know that the words coming out of your mouth in the song were written about him.

“It about you, you know. The album” You said walking over to the railing looking at the illuminous city.

“I figured, I never knew you were working on something so big.” He stood beside you.

“You would have if you stayed”

“Listen, I’m not going to waste any more time. Im here to beg you back in life, I am sorry for what I have done but please give me a chance. That one year spent without you was my living hell. Everyday I prayed for you to come back but you never did and there’s no question why. I am a horrible man but I promise if you let me prove it that I am so much better than I was I wont let you down. I will love you even more than I ever have” he said with a soft voice guilt dripping with every word he spoke making you turn around to face him. His eyes glistening with tears and his hands holding each other in front of his chest.

Man was literally begging you.

“Hey you are not a horrible man.” You whispered walking to him as you put his hands down and held his one cheek in your hand. He instantly nuzzled his nose feeling your skin after days of being away from you. His knees were giving away and so was his heart.

“We all make mistakes but learning from them and moving on is important. I forgave you the minute I stepped away from our relationship. You’re nothing but still the most precious man I ever had” you said. Your own eyes picking the tears.

“then give me a chance” he spoke kissing your palm staring down In your eyes making your belly turn in knots.

“I cant. I have moved on Chris” You said breaking his heart. He breathed out biting his lower lip as he looked on. He never felt so defeated and helpless. But this is what he deserved for throwing away the best he ever had. For not respecting the beautiful relationship and woman he was meant to guard. He opened his mouth but the lump in his throat got in the way. He could just break down.

“Then let me be your friend. I just want to be in your life. Make up for what I’ve missed. Please don’t say no.” He trembled in fear you would reject him but instead you nod your head and pull him in a hug knowing he would break if you didn’t. Still knowing him like the back of your head you gave in his request hoping you could contain the emotions.

It is said, two who once fell in love can never be friends. Once in love, always in love.

So you stood there holding him, closed your eyes letting the man calm his cries. Falling back in the chakra of tainted love.

-

Tags

@captainchrisstan

@evansphnx12

@adriannajackson

[ppangjae]

made to fall in love | nine

SERIES MASTERLIST

prev | nine | next

SUMMARY. Seoul’s finest 30 under 30. The country’s youngest billionaire. 2019′s richest bachelor. But of all the women he could go after, he goes after… her?

GENRE. fluff and angst | ceo!jaehyun | nerd!reader | enemies to lovers!au | long lost friend!au

WORD COUNT. 2k+ words

warnings. tooth-rotting fluff, swearing, and tons of bickering!

author’s note. we just reached 1000 followers today! thank you so much for 1000! i hope you enjoy this update! happy reading!

NINE. lovestruck • i don’t know what to do whenever i look at you

Two months later…

“I’m sure you’re all aware that the year-end party is near, which is why I called you all here for a meeting.”

You feel a light kick to the ankle from underneath the table. You quirk an eyebrow, your eyes darting across the room to meet Johnny’s gaze. He wiggles his eyebrows at you and a scoff threatens to escape your lips. Standing at the front of the meeting room is Jaehyun, who’s holding a quick presentation about the company’s year-end celebration.

“For the new interns and employees, our year-end celebration is just a formal gathering where we celebrate this year’s achievements and to look forward to the new year ahead of us.” Jaehyun explains as he switches to the PowerPoint slide of the venue. “It’s planned to happen in three weeks, specifically on the twenty-eight of December. I’m sure you all have families to celebrate New Year’s with, and thus, we were strict on having the celebration before that.”

You’ve heard of the year-end celebrations. Long time employees say that the celebration screams money and luxury. The sponsors of the celebration are endless, from Dior to Chanel. It’s all because of the CEO himself, Jeong Jaehyun. But other long time employees say that Jaehyun only sticks around at the celebration until his speech. Right after his speech, Jaehyun is nowhere to be found. They always assume that he’s back in the comfort of his office, working his ass off.

It makes you feel bad for him.

But at the same time, you don’t feel bad. Not a single bit.

“The dress code is formal, as usual.” He explains. “But the theme colour is red and black, just to make things more pleasing to the eye.”

“Red?” You mutter underneath your breath.

Jaehyun turns to glance at you. “Did you say something, Y/N?”

You look up, meeting his gaze. You shake your head. “I didn’t say anything, sir.”

He tilts his head in confusion. “I must be hearing things.”

Johnny lets out a cough. “Clearly.”

“Anyways, that’s pretty much it for this meeting.” Jaehyun finishes off. “Thank you all for coming. It’s getting pretty late. Actually, on your way out, please make sure you note that you were asked to stay overtime because of me. I don’t want human resources coming for my ass.”

The employees erupt into giggles and whispers. You’re beginning to pack your things. Johnny is too busy sending a text on his phone. Jaehyun clears his throat. “You may leave now.”

As they’re all scurrying to leave the room, you hear your name being called when you’re slowly getting up from your seat. You glance at Jaehyun, who’s turning off his laptop. “Yes, sir?”

“I’ll bring the car to the front. You can just wait for me there.”

You raise an eyebrow. “But I’m taking the bus—”

“Y/N, I’ve been driving you home for two months now. Driving you home today isn’t any different from driving you home last night.” He cuts you off.

“Actually, there is one difference.” 

He looks at you. “And now what would that be?”

“It’s been two months since we last saw Jia and heard of her. I’m sure she’s already minding her own business. I think it’s safe to say that I’m ready to be on my own now. I don’t think I’m at risk.” You explain, throwing your bag over your shoulder. “Even the press and paparazzi are tired of chasing her down. I think I’ll be okay with taking the bus from now on.”

“How are you so sure that you’ll be safe?” He questions.

“I am a strong, independent woman. I can take care of myself—”

“Have you eaten dinner yet?”

You point at him. “Now that, I haven’t. Besides, I can grab dinner on my way home—”

“Or you can grab dinner with me.” He shrugs his shoulders. “I’ll drive you home too.”

“I don’t want to bother you—”

“You don’t want to join me for dinner? You don’t want another free ride home?” He frowns. “You must hate me or something, don’t you—”

“I don’t hate you—”

“Then grab dinner with me. It won’t hurt. Besides, if you hate me so much, we don’t even have to talk while having dinner together.” He reassures you. “In fact, we can sit at different tables. But I’ll still pay for your meal.”

“Since you’re so persistent on letting me grab dinner with you, then fine.” You let out a defeated sigh. “I’ll wait for you at the front of the building, sir.”

You surely hate him.

He pulls up at a five-star restaurant that claims to have the most expensive menu in the city. It was your suggestion. But as he gets out of the car, he’s slowly starting to regret trying to impress you. You hop out of the car with a smug grin spread across your lips. 

“You must be really hungry, huh?” He mutters underneath his breath.

“I’m starving.” You grin, making your way into the restaurant.

Just as Jaehyun is following you into the restaurant, there’s something that catches his eye. He glances at you to make sure you didn’t notice the sign put up in front of the restaurant. 

“For how many?”

Jaehyun clears his throat. “For two, please.”

As the waitress is bringing the two of you to your seats, you can’t help but break out into a wide smile. You love pushing Jaehyun’s buttons. He was so persistent in taking you out for dinner just to give you a ride home. Since he said so, you decided that going to a five-star restaurant is the best bet. You can’t seem to erase the look of disbelief on Jaehyun’s face the moment you both arrived.

As you’re both looking through the menu, Jaehyun can tell that you’re probably looking for the most expensive dish on the menu. He feels himself start to sweat. 

“What can I get for the lovely couple?”

You almost choke on air. “Sorry, we’re not—”

“I’ll have the lamb steak,” Jaehyun cuts you off. “Could I also get two glasses of red wine for the both of us?”

“One lamb steak and two glasses of red wine,” the waitress says as she jots down the order.

Jaehyun nods his head at you. “What are you getting?”

You snap out of it and close the menu. “I’ll have what he’s having as well.”

The waitress is staring at the both of you with an amused look while grabbing both of your menus. Jaehyun folds his arms, picking up his glass of water to take a quick sip. You clear your throat, looking out the window to distract yourself.

“Is there a reason why you hate me so much?”

You scoff. “I don’t hate you—”

“You sure do.”

“I don’t—”

“You do.” He looks at you seriously. “You’re a bad liar.”

“In my defense, you’re a bad liar too.” You shrug your shoulders. “Or should I say, a bad actor.”

“Look—”

“But it’s fine. We can play pretend for as long as you want.” You cut him off. “Since you’re pretending as if you don’t know me, then I’ll do the same. This shouldn’t be a one-way thing, don’t you think so?”

He avoids your gaze. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

You smile. It doesn’t reach your ears. “Clearly.”

A couple of minutes later, the waitress arrives with your food. Jaehyun can’t help but watch you eat. You weren’t lying when you said you were starving. You’re practically inhaling the food. He finds himself smiling. 

“Stop staring at me.”

“I’m not staring—”

You look at him. “You are. Stop staring. It’s making me uncomfortable. I want to eat in peace.”

He smirks. “And you said that you were going to grab dinner on your way home.”

“And so?” You raise an eyebrow. “It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity to be eating at a five-star restaurant with the CEO of Jung Architects. It’s not an opportunity you should pass up.”

“Do you feel like you achieved something out of this?” He asks.

You nod your head. “Yes.”

“And what would that be?”

“A free dinner.” You shrug your shoulders. “Oh! A free ride home, too.”

“Would you like me to remind you how you were completely against the idea of having dinner with me and allowing me to drive you home?” He tests you.

You grab your glass of wine to take a small sip. You bite your lip. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about, sir. I suddenly don’t remember anything.”

“Well, I hope you’re ready for my revenge.”

You look at him questioningly. “Revenge?”

“Sir, what are you doing?”

At the end of your dinner, Jaehyun gets up from his seat to bend down on one knee. He’s pulling out a fake diamond ring from his pocket and extending it out to you. You’re looking at him bewilderedly, trying to pull him back onto his feet.

“Y/N, I know we’ve been together for six years. Those six years have been the happiest years of my life and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.” He has a shit-eating grin spread across his lips. “Will you marry me, Y/N?”

The couples and families sitting near you are getting all of it on their phones. You can’t help but feel embarrassed. Is this the revenge he was talking about? 

“Sir, we aren’t dating. What are you doing?”

He lets out a fake cough. “Just say yes.”

“What? Why would I do that? What are you doing?” You hiss.

“I forgot my wallet at the office and I saw a sign outside saying that newly-engaged couples get their dinner for free.” He says in one breath. 

“What? I didn’t catch a single word you just said.” 

“Just say yes.”

You look around to see the waitress walking to your table with the bill in her hands. Your eyes slightly widen and you cover your fake gasp with your hands. The waitress stops in her tracks when she sees Jaehyun proposing to you. 

“Yes!” You exclaim. “I’ll marry you!”

The waitress finally reaches your table when Jaehyun pulls you into a hug. You’re patting his back a bit too aggressively. You lean into his ear to whisper. “I’m going to kill you for this, sir.”

“Congratulations to the newly-engaged couple!” The waitress exclaims and everyone seated around you starts clapping. The waitress turns to Jaehyun when you both pull away from your hug. “Luckily for you, we have a promotion going on where newly-engaged couples have their dinner on us. I don’t think you’ll need the bill, sir. Your dinner is free.”

“Oh!” Jaehyun smiles. “That’s perfect! Thank you so much!”

“Congratulations.”

You’re too embarrassed to utter a word. As you and Jaehyun are leaving the restaurant, he stretches out his arms and lets out a sigh. You look at him with a death glare. He feels intimidated by your stare.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You owe me an explanation.”

He lets out a nervous laugh. “I don’t think I do. Hey, do you want to go grab some ice cream before I drive you home?”

You fold your arms. “I thought you left your wallet in your office—”

You stop mid-sentence when he pulls out his wallet from his pocket. He’s waving it in your face before bursting out into laughter. “My wallet? What kind of CEO would leave his wallet in his office? What do you take me for, Y/N?”

Is he really the CEO of Jung Architects?

BREAKING NEWS: Jeong Jaehyun of Jung Architects recently seen proposing to what sources say, a woman he’s dated for six years, at a five-star restaurant

“When’s their year-end party, again?”

Jia shoves a handful of chips into her mouth. “The twenty-eighth of December.”

“I think that’s enough time for everything to pull through perfectly as planned.” Wooyoung says before letting out a scoff. “And since when did he have the time to date?”

Jia shrugs her shoulders. “I wouldn’t have been surprised if the press suddenly revealed that he was married this entire time.”

“Are you disappointed that the woman’s not you?”

Jia sighs.

“Just a little.”

author’s note. i hope you liked this update! we’re almost reaching the second interlude! jkfhsdkjfhdsf

tag list (if you want to be a part of the list, please send me an ask!):

@riverdale-kpop @cupofjae @jae-canikeepyou @crystxlkpop @befikel @justineasian @frankenstein852 @mymonbebecarat127heart @hoshitaro @ilymarkchan @hyluvjk @fantasircle @yourchasingsunsetslove @jae-bam @starryhyun​ @kriselynne @jaeismytamtation​ @etaerealboy​ @irrelevxntstxr @johnnyseosabs​ @jaeveil​ @doublepeace @jaehyunie77 @nshitae​ @ijustwantsummilk @crtznstuff @linnnnduhhhnctlove @airloe @princessaecha @jimjamjaemin @linansey @eileencacai @loviejaehyun @leesalts

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About Loki (Season One)

(Sorry this is later than it should have been. I may or may not be experiencing burnout from reviewing every episode of the gayest show Disney has ever produced)

Salutations, random people on the internet. I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

Do you want to know what's fun about the Marvel Cinematic Universe? It is now officially at the point where the writers can do whatever the hell they want.

A TV series about two Avengers getting stuck in a series of sitcoms as one of them explores their personal grief? Sure.

Another series as a guy with metal bird wings fights the inner racism of his nation to take the mantel of representing the idea of what that nation should be? Why not?

A forgettable movie about a superspy and her much more mildly entertaining pretend family working together to kill the Godfather? F**king go for it (Let that be a taste for my Black Widow review in October)!

There is no limit to what you can get with these movies and shows anymore, and I personally consider that a good thing. It allows this franchise to lean further into creative insanity, thus embracing its comic roots in the process. Take Loki, for example. It is a series about an alternate version of one of Marvel's best villains bouncing around the timeline with Owen Wilson to prevent the end of the universe. It sounds like just the right amount of wackiness that it should be too good to fail.

But that's today's question: Did it fail? To find out my own answer to that, we're gonna have to dive deep into spoilers. So be wary as you continue reading.

With that said, let's review, shall we?

WHAT I LIKED

Loki Himself: Let's get this out of the way: This isn't the same Loki we've seen grow within five movies. The Loki in this series, while similar in many ways, is still his very own character. He goes through his own redemption and developments that fleshes out Loki, all through ways that, if I'm being honest with you, is done much better in six-hour-long episodes than in past films. Loki's story was already entertaining, but he didn't really grow that much aside from being this chaotic neutral character instead of this wickedly evil supervillain. Through his series, we get to see a gradual change in his personality, witnessing him understand his true nature and "glorious purpose," to the point where he's already this completely different person after one season. Large in part because of the position he's forced into.

Some fans might say that the series is less about Loki and more about the TVA. And while I can unquestionably see their point, I still believe that the TVA is the perfect way for Loki to grow. He's a character all about causing chaos and controlling others, so forcing him to work for an organization that takes that away allows Loki time to really do some introspection. Because if his tricks don't work, and his deceptions can't fool others, then who is he? Well, through this series, we see who he truly is: A character who is alone and is intended to be nothing more than a villain whose only truly selfless act got him killed in the end. Even if he wants to better himself, he can't because that "goes against the sacred timeline." Loki is a person who is destined to fail, and he gets to see it all with his own eyes by looking at what his life was meant to be and by observing what it could have been. It's all tragic and yet another example of these shows proving how they allow underdeveloped characters in the MCU a better chance to shine. Because if Loki can give even more depth to a character who's already compelling as is, then that is a feat worth admiration.

The Score: Let's give our gratitude toward Natalie Holt, who f**king killed it with this series score. Every piece she made is nothing short of glorious. Sylvie's and the TVA's themes particularly stand out, as they perfectly capture who/what they're representing. Such as how Sylvie's is big and boisterous where the TVA's sound eerie and almost unnatural. Holt also finds genius ways to implement other scores into the series, from using familiar tracks from the Thor movies to even rescoring "Ride of the Valkyries" in a way that makes a scene even more epic than it already could have been. The MCU isn't best known for its musical scores, partly because they aim to be suitable rather than memorable. But every now and again, something as spectacular as the Loki soundtrack sprinkles through the cracks of mediocrity. Making fans all the more grateful because of it.

There’s a lot of Talking: To some, this will be considered a complaint. Most fans of the MCU come for the action, comedy, and insanely lovable characters. Not so much for the dialogue and exposition. That being said, I consider all of the talking to be one of Loki's best features. All the background information about the TVA added with the character's backstories fascinates me, making me enthusiastic about learning more. Not everyone else will be as interested in lore and world-building as others, but just because something doesn't grab you, in particular, doesn't mean it isn't appealing at all. Case in point: There's a reason why the Five Nights at Freddy's franchise has lasted as long as it has, and it's not entirely because of how "scary" it is.

There's also the fact that most of the dialogue in Loki is highly engaging. I'll admit, some scenes do drag a bit. However, every line is delivered so well that I'm more likely to hang on to every word when characters simply have honest conversations with each other. And if I can be entertained by Loki talking with Morbius about jetskis, then I know a show is doing at least something right.

It’s Funny: This shouldn't be a surprise. The MCU is well-known for its quippy humor in the direct acknowledgment that it doesn't take itself too seriously. With that said, it is clear which movies and shows are intended to be taken seriously, while others are meant to be comedies. Loki tries to be a bit of both. There are some heavy scenes that impact the characters, and probably even some fans, due to how well-acted and professionally written they can be. However, this is also a series about a Norse god traveling through time to deal with alternate versions of himself, with one of them being an alligator. I'd personally consider it a crime against storytelling to not make it funny. Thankfully, the writers aren't idiots and know to make the series fun with a few flawlessly timed and delivered jokes that never really take away from the few good grim moments that actually work.

It Kept Me Surprised: About everything I appreciate about Loki, the fact that I could never really tell what direction it was going is what I consider its absolute best feature. Every time I think I knew what was going to happen, there was always this one big twist that heavily subverted any and every one of my expectations. Such as how each time I thought I knew who the big bad was in this series, it turns out that there was an even worse threat built up in the background. The best part is that these twists aren't meant for shock value. It's always supposed to drive the story forward, and on a rewatch, you can always tell how the seeds have been planted for making each surprise work. It's good that it kept fans guessing, as being predictable and expected would probably be the worst path to take when making a series about Loki, a character who's all about trickery and deception. So bonus points for being in line with the character.

The TVA: You can complain all you want about how the show is more about the TVA than it is Loki, but you can't deny how the organization in question is a solid addition to the MCU. Initially, it was entertaining to see Loki of all characters be taken aback by how the whole process works. And it was worth a chuckle seeing Infinity Stones, the most powerful objects in the universe, get treated as paperweights. However, as the season continues and we learn about the TVA, the writers show that their intention is to try and write a message about freedom vs. control. We've seen this before in movies like Captain America: The Winter Soldier or Captain America: Civil War, but with those films, it always felt like the writers were leaning more towards one answer instead of making it obscure over which decision is correct. This is why I enjoy the fact that Loki went on saying that there really is no right answer for this scenario. If the TVA doesn't prune variants, it could result in utter chaos and destruction that no one from any timeline can prepare themselves for. But when they do prune variants along with their timelines, it takes away all free will, forcing people to be someone they probably don't even want to be. It's a situation where there really is no middle ground. Even if you bring up how people could erase timelines more destructive than others, that still takes away free will on top of how there's no unbiased way of deciding which timelines are better or worse. And the series found a brilliant way to explain this moral: The season starts by showing how the TVA is necessary, to later point out how there are flaws and evil secrets within it, and ends things with the revelation that there are consequences without the TVA keeping the timeline in check. It's an epic showcase of fantastic ideas met with exquisite execution that I can't help but give my seal of approval to.

Miss Minutes: Not much to say. This was just a cute character, and I love that Tara Strong, one of the most popular voice actors, basically plays a role in the MCU now.

Justifying Avengers: Endgame: Smartest. Decision. This series. Made. Bar none.

Because when you establish that the main plot is about a character getting arrested for f**king over the timeline, you're immediately going to get people questioning, "Why do the Avengers get off scot-free?" So by quickly explaining how their time-traveling antics were supposed to happen, it negates every one of those complaints...or most of them. There are probably still a-holes who are poking holes in that logic, but they're not the ones writing this review, so f**k them.

Mobius: I didn't really expect Owen Wilson to do that good of a job in Loki. Primarily due to how the Cars franchise discredits him as a professional actor for...forever. With that said, Owen Wilson's Mobius might just be one of the most entertaining characters in the series. Yes, even more so than Loki himself. Mobius acts as the perfect straight man to Loki's antics, what with being so familiar with the supposed god of mischief through past variations of him. Because of that, it's always a blast seeing these two bounce off one another through Loki trying to trick a Loki expert, and said expert even deceiving Loki at times. Also, on his own, Mobius is still pretty fun. He has this sort of witty energy that's often present in Phil Coulson (Love that character too, BTW), but thanks to Owen Wilson's quirks in his acting, there's a lot more energy to Mobius than one would find in Coulson. As well as a tad bit of tragedy because of Mobius being a variant and having no clue what his life used to be. It's a lot to unpack and is impressively written, added to how it's Owen Wilson who helps make the character work as well as he did. Cars may not have done much for his career, but Loki sure as hell showed his strengths.

Ravonna Renslayer: Probably the least entertaining character, but definitely one of the most intriguing. At least to me.

Ravonna is a character who is so steadfast in her believes that she refuses to accept that she may be wrong. Without the proper writing, someone like Ravonna could tick off (ha) certain people. Personally, I believe that Ravonna is written well enough where even though I disagree with her belief, I can understand where she's coming from. She's done so much for the TVA, bringing an end to so many variants and timelines that she can't accept that it was all for nothing. In short, Ravonna represents the control side of the freedom vs. control theme that the writers are pushing. Her presence is necessary while still being an appealing character instead of a plot device. Again, at least to me.

Hunter B-15: I have no strong feelings one way or another towards B-15's personality, but I will admit that I love the expectation-subversion done with her. She has this air of someone who's like, "I'm this by-the-books badass cop, and I will only warm up to this cocky rookie after several instances of them proving themselves." That's...technically not B-15. She's the first to see Loki isn't that bad, but only because B-15 is the first in the main cast to learn the hidden vile present in the TVA. It makes her change in point of view more believable than how writers usually work a character like hers, on top of adding a new type of engaging motivation for why she fights. I may not particularly enjoy her personality, but I do love her contributions.

Loki Watching What His Life Could Have Been: This was a brilliant decision by the writers. It's basically having Loki speedrun his own character development through witnessing what he could have gone through and seeing the person he's meant to be, providing a decent explanation for why he decides to work for the TVA. And on the plus side, Tom Hiddleston did a fantastic job at portraying the right emotions the character would have through a moment like this. Such as grief, tearful mirth, and borderline shock and horror. It's a scene that no other character could go through, as no one but Loki needed a wake-up call for who he truly is. This series might heavily focus on the TVA, but scenes like this prove just who's the star of the show.

Loki Causing Mischief in Pompeii: I just really love this scene. It's so chaotic and hilarious, all heavily carried by the fact that you can tell that Tom Hiddleston is having the time of his damn life being this character. What more can I say about it.

Sylvie: The first of many surprises this season offered, and boy was she a great one.

Despite being an alternate version of Loki, I do appreciate that Sylvie's her own character and not just "Loki, but with boobs." She still has the charm and charisma, but she also comes across as more hardened and intelligent when compared to the mischievous prick we've grown to love. A large part of that is due to her backstory, which might just be the most tragic one these movies and shows have ever made. Sylvie got taken away when she was a little girl, losing everything she knew and loved, and it was all for something that the people who arrested her don't even remember. How sad is that? The fact that her life got permanently screwed over, leaving zero impact on the people responsible for it. As badass as it is to hear her say she grew up at the ends of a thousand worlds (that's an album title if I ever heard one), it really is depressing to know what she went through. It also makes her the perfect candidate to represent the freedom side of the freedom vs. control argument. Because she's absolutely going to want to fight to put an end to the people who decide how the lives of trillions should be. Those same people took everything from Sylvie, and if I were in her position, I'd probably do the same thing. Of course, we all know the consequences that come from this, and people might criticize Sylvie the same way they complain about Thor and Star Lord for screwing over the universe in Avengers: Infinity War. But here's the thing: Sylvie's goals are driven by vengeance, which can blind people from any other alternatives. Meaning her killing He Who Remains is less of a story flaw and more of a character flaw. It may be a bad decision, but that's for Season Two Sylvie to figure out. For now, I'll just appreciate the well-written and highly compelling character we got this season and eagerly wait as we see what happens next with her.

The Oneshot in Episode Three: Not as epic as the hallway scene in Daredevil, but I do find it impressive that it tries to combine real effects, fighting, and CGI in a way where it's all convincing enough.

Lady Sif Kicking Loki in the D**k: This is a scene that makes me realize why I love this series. At first, I laugh at Loki being stuck in a time loop where Lady Sif kicks him in the d**k over and over again. But a few scenes later, this setup actually works as a character moment that explains why Loki does the things he does.

This series crafted phenomenal character development through Loki getting kicked in the d**k by the most underrated badass of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It's a perfect balance of comedy and drama that not every story can nail, yet Loki seemed like it did with very little effort.

Classic Loki: This variant shows the true tragedy of being Loki. The only way to survive is to live in isolation, far away from everything and everyone he loves, only to end up having his one good deed result in his death anyways. Classic Loki is definitive proof that no matter what face they have, Lokis never gets happy endings. They're destined to lose, but at least this version knows that if you're going out, you're going out big. And at least he got to go out with a mischievous laugh.

(Plus, the fact that he's wearing Loki's first costume from the comics is a pretty cute callback).

Alligator Loki: Alligator Loki is surprisingly adorable, and if you know me, you know that I can't resist cute s**t. It's not in my nature.

Loki on Loki Violence: If you thought Loki going ham in Pompeii was chaotic, that was nothing to this scene. Because watching these Lokis backstab one another, to full-on murdering each other, is a moment that is best described as pure, unadulterated chaos. And I. Loved. Every. Second of it.

The Opening Logo for the Season Finale: I'm still not that big of a fan of the opening fanfare playing for each episode, but I will admit that it was a cool feature to play vocal clips of famous quotes when the corresponding character appears. It's a great way of showing the chaos of how the "sacred timeline" works without having it to be explained further.

The Citadel: I adore the set design of the Citadel. So much history and backstory shine through the state of every room the characters walk into. You get a perfect picture of what exactly happened, but seeing how ninety percent of the place is in shambles, it's pretty evident that not everything turned out peachy keen. And as a personal note, my favorite aspect of the Citadel is the yellow cracks in the walls. It looks as though reality itself is cracking apart, which is pretty fitting when considering where the Citadel actually is.

He Who Remains: This man. I. Love. This man.

I love this man for two reasons.

A. He's a ton of fun. Credit to that goes to the performance delivered by Jonathon Majors. Not only is it apparent that Majors is having a blast, but he does a great job at conveying how He Who Remains is a strategic individual but is still very much off his rocker. These villains are always my favorite due to how much of a blast it is seeing someone with high intelligence just embracing their own insanity. If you ask me, personalities are always essential for villains. Because even when they have the generic plot to rule everything around them, you're at least going to remember who they are for how entertaining they were. Thankfully He Who Remains has that entertainment value, as it makes me really excited for his eventual return, whether it'd be strictly through Loki Season Two or perhaps future movies.

And B. He Who Remains is a fantastic foil for Loki. He Who Remains is everything Loki wishes he could have been, causing so much death, destruction, and chaos to the multiverse. The important factor is that he does it all through order and control. The one thing Loki despises, and He Who Remains uses it to his advantage. I feel like that's what makes him the perfect antagonist to Loki, thanks to him winning the game by not playing it. I would love it if He Who Remains makes further appearances in future movies and shows, especially given how he's hinted to be Kane the Conqueror, but if he's only the main antagonist in Loki, I'm still all for it. He was a great character in his short time on screen, and I can't wait to see what happens next with him.

WHAT I DISLIKED

Revealing that Loki was D.B. Cooper: A cute scene, but it's really unnecessary. It adds nothing to the plot, and I feel like if it was cut out entirely, it wouldn't have been the end of the world...Yeah. That's it.

That's my one and only complaint about this season.

Maybe some scenes drag a bit, and I guess Episode Three is kind of the weakest, but there's not really anything that this series does poorly that warrants an in-depth complaint.

Nope.

Nothing at all...

…

...

...I'm not touching that "controversy" of Loki falling for Sylvie instead of Mobius. That's a situation where there are no winners.

Only losers.

Exclusively losers.

Other than that, this season was amazing!

IN CONCLUSION

I'd give the first season of Loki a well-earned A, with a 9.5 through my usual MCU ranking system. It turns out, it really is the best type of wackiness that was just too good to fail. The characters are fun and likable, the comedy and drama worked excellently, and the expansive world-building made me really intrigued with the more we learned. It's hard to say if Season Two will keep this momentum, but that's for the future to figure out. For now, let's just sit back and enjoy the chaos.

(Now, if you don't excuse me, I have to figure out how to review Marvel's What If...)

[writerpeach]

High Tension

IZ*ONE Miyawaki Sakura x Male Reader

5686 words

categories: smut, oral, semi-public sex, detective! kkura

18+

Note: This is a prequel to Detective Eunbi’s interrogation chapter

Read on AFF

Read on AO3

There wasn’t coffee strong enough to get you through this investigation.    

Over a week had passed since this case started. The body of a man in his mid-forties was found washed up on shore, all signs pointed to the mafia being behind it. It made things both more suddenly complicated and dangerous.

The long workday felt like a complete waste, interrogation after interrogation going nowhere. An important suspect lost after the good cop/bad cop routine went sour with no choice but to let him go without a reason to keep him contained. 

Another witness interview was canceled after they got spooked, either threatened or bought off, or both. Calling it a bad day would be an understatement. 

Frustration was at an all-time high. Evidence was insultingly lacking at this point, whoever put this hit out knew what they were doing and knew how to cover up their tracks. 

You rubbed your temple, trying to erase the pounding headache and doing anything for a sanity check.

A soft voice spoke up and broke up your irritation. 

“Let’s look over the evidence again.”

The voice of your partner, a young Japanese woman, Miyawaki Sakura. She graduated a year early and top of her class, quickly climbing the career ladder and earning the rank of detective in half the time. 

“We don’t have any evidence, that’s the problem,” you said with clear defeat in your voice.

“Then we’ll look at what we have and go from there,” she said, always keeping a calm mind.

You were lucky to have her as a partner. She filled any cracks of your armor, relying more on logic when you relied more on raw emotions. 

The small room that served as your base of operations grew stuffy. Papers were thrown messily all over the table, while the whiteboard was a fractured mess of potential suspects, forming a poorly told story of events that had no rhyme or reason. 

“We have to find out who did this. For respect for the victim and his family," you said as you looked again and again through scarce files and dossiers. Sakura smiled reassuringly across the table.

“It’s okay, we’ll figure this out. We’ll find new leads if we have to, somebody has to know who did this.” 

Sakura always knew what to say when things looked bleak. 

“I wish I shared your confidence. I’ve seen too many unanswered murders lately.” 

“I know it’s tough to be positive right now with what little we have, but we have to persevere. People are counting on us. We can't give up that easily.” 

Sakura’s soothing voice helped put you at ease, as did the radiating smile that always seemed to be on her lips even during the toughest of times. 

“Let's start at the top. Hirai Hitoshi, age 46. Found washed up on shore at approximately 4:30 am. Cause of death was a bullet point-blank to the head. No witnesses so far.” Sakura said, reading over the notes. 

“Yakuza members don’t kill randomly, he was sticking his nose in places they didn’t want it in,” Sakura continued. 

“Hitoshi-san was a prosecutor that remained undefeated for almost a decade until his untimely death.” 

“Very convenient. There’s a trial coming up in a week, three men from the Godo clan are being charged,” you said. 

“So we have the why, now we just need the who," Sakura said, gears turning in her head.

“Which brings us back to where we started. The Godo clan runs several families deep. It could be any clan who orchestrated the hit,” you said, sighing loudly.

You stood up out of your chair and paced around the room, stopping at the whiteboard and the measly evidence that was pinned there.

“We have nothing. “ you said, hanging your head in defeat.

Sakura joined you at the whiteboard. “We’ll find something. Tomorrow is a new day, maybe we’ll get lucky.” 

“Let’s hope so.” 

“Criminals always slip up, they can’t cover up everything. There has to be a clue somewhere, maybe a witness who isn’t scared to speak up,” she said as her determination grew.

“Sounds too good to be true.” 

“Maybe, maybe not. Detective Kwon is coming from the big city to interrogate one of our potential suspects. Word is nobody ever comes away from her without talking. I’ve heard her methods are very unconventional,” Sakura said. 

“Unconventional? How so?”

“Don’t know the details. I just know she’s very good at her job.” 

“I wish I could be,” you said as you took a deep breath, exhaling loudly. Sakura caressed your shoulder gently. 

“You don’t need to wish, you are good. You’re just overworked. We both are.”

“That’s an understatement. Paid vacation seems so far away.”

Sakura squeezed your arm. 

“You’re so tense,” she said, feeling how tight your muscles were.

“Yeah, well this case is driving me insane, “ you said as you stared at the whiteboard, wanting to flip the whole thing upside down. 

“When’s the last time you had a massage?” 

“A massage? Never,” you replied, cocking an eyebrow.

 “You should try it out. I get one every few weeks, it really helps put me at ease. Plus, work covers all the expenses.” 

“Strangers touching me was never my thing.”

“I felt the same way at first, but I got used to it. You’ll feel wonderful after.” 

“I appreciate the offer, but I’ll have to pass.”

“So stubborn still I see,” she laughed.

“It’s who I am.” 

You rubbed your eyes and took a peek at the clock above the whiteboard. It was well past midnight. 

“You need a clear head. You can’t be a good detective if you can’t see straight.” 

“I’ll make sure to pick up a six-pack on the way home then.” 

“That’s not what I meant,” she frowned. “You need to find a way to relieve all this tension in a healthy way,” she said, putting herself in between yourself and the whiteboard, lips grinning widely.

“Are you going to give me a massage, Miss Miyawaki?” you teased. 

“No, I’m not trained for that,” she shyly said. “But I do know how to make you relax."

Her gaze turned deadly as she tilted her head to the side. 

“We’re at work-” Sakura interrupted you by placing a finger on your lips. 

“You can’t use that as an excuse. There’s not a single person still here except forensics, and they’re on the next floor up.” 

“Sakura…”

“You have a girlfriend? A wife?” 

“Negative. I don’t have time for that.” 

“That’s perfect then,” she said. Eyes forward, you met hers, seeing every perfect feature of her pretty face lit up. 

You were very, very, attracted to Sakura. With a body like hers and an equally gorgeous face, how could you not be? But you chose not to act on your desires, instead banking on your professionalism to keep you above water. But when faced with the proposal that you think Sakura was about to give you...

“How long have we known each other?”  Sakura asked, her small hands fiddling and playing with your tie, loosening it up.

“Two years, three months.” 

“Then don’t you think it’s about time we go to know each other, a little... better?” 

Her gaze didn’t weaken as she stepped even closer, growing more confident by the second. It’d be a lie to say you weren’t a bit intimidated at this point. 

“There’s that late-night burger shop that’s open late, I’m sure that’d be a fine place to-” 

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about.” 

“Then feel free to tell me what you are then,” you said with a smug expression.

“You should know I’ve been a detective long enough to know when someone is playing dumb.”

“I would never do such a thing,” you playfully said.

“I just think it’s in our best interest if we got to know each other a lot more intimately.” 

“I’d have to agree with that,” you said, a mischievous look now draped on your features. 

Two years of built-up sexual tension came to a close as Sakura’s lips crashed against your own, her hands cupping your face as you wrapped your arms around her small waist. Her taste was delectable, her cherry lips soft and warm. 

Your heart raced as you finished your first kiss, followed by another as her small frame leaned against your body. 

“I’ve never had the chance to tell you how good you always smell,” Sakura said as you pulled her in closer, fully wrapping your arms around her petite body. 

Your lips never left the warmth of each other, not ready to disengage as your lips merged together, bodies pressing together even tighter. Your attention was on the taste of Sakura, her lips doing their job in distracting you as you felt her hand slip down your pants, your body twitching in response. 

With the kiss momentarily broken, Sakura whispered in your ear. “I said I was going to help you relax...and I meant it.” She softly pumped you up and down until you were fully erect, feeling satisfied as she began undressing you. Your tie was gone in no time as she unbuttoned every button with ease, exposing your bare chest as she stripped it off your body. 

Sakura eyed your half-naked body like a delicious meal before giving your chest a quick peck, tossing her heels underneath the table and dropping to her knees, a sinful smile plastered on her lips. 

She stared at the bulge in your pants now the center of attention for several seconds as her hands quickly yanked your pants and boxers off, gasping quietly at your freed cock. There was an obvious hunger in her eyes as she wrapped her slim fingers around it, stroking it up and down slowly as you leaked over her fingers. 

“Guess you needed this badly?” she asked with a grin, licking up and down your length and swirling around your swollen head, causing more pre-cum to dribble out of your dripping slit and catching it all with her tongue as you let out a light groan.

“It’s been a while since I’ve done this, so I hope my oral skills will be up to par,” Sakura nervously said. 

“Nonsense, there’s nothing you aren’t good at.” 

Sakura’s expression became determined, and she wanted to prove herself. Her pretty mouth planted a kiss on your shaft before she swallowed up your tip, silky-soft lips making contact and wrapping around the first couple inches and sucking gently, hollowing her cheeks as you instinctively moan.

The pleasure sent shivers up and down your spine even as she barely took you into her mouth. Her lips felt incredible, so soft and warm and tightly pressed around your shaft. Sakura looked so pretty on her knees as she pleased you and began bobbing her head up and down, applying more pressure and using her tongue alongside her lips, flicking against the underside of your shaft to give even more pleasure.

“You’re definitely still good at that,” you said, interrupting your groans and moans. Sakura looked into your eyes and increased her pace in response, her warm mouth moving forward and giving a loud slurp of your shaft that would drive any recipient of such an intense blowjob absolutely wild.

The lust in Sakura’s beautiful round eyes was obvious as she sucked you off, enjoying it almost as much as you were. She didn’t keep either of her hands idle, one caressing your thigh while the other kept pumping your hard shaft. 

Sakura kept her sultry gaze on you as she kept you inside her wet mouth, her lips sealed tight as they did the majority of the work. Little by little, she swallowed even more of you up, leaving a wet trail of warm saliva glazing your shaft as she took you halfway inside without any trouble. 

With each bob of her head, she edged closer towards the end of your shaft before she withdrew to your tip, her gifted mouth sliding back and forth with ease as if she had done it hundreds of times before.

You took several deep breaths while Sakura worked her magic between your legs, still awestruck by what was happening to you. Her lips went deeper, much deeper, almost to the base of your cock. She gagged a bit with every attempt but didn’t stop, not wanting to disappoint both herself and you, she wasn’t a quitter.

Once Sakura had mostly relaxed her throat and tamed her gag reflex she went wild, using her ability to deepthroat your shaft effortlessly and giving you the full amount of pleasure. 

“Oh fuck, that feels so fucking good.” 

Sakura used her deadly eyes to acknowledge you as she used long strokes from tip to base, slurping on your cock loudly and bobbing her head at a faster pace, using a free hand to fondle and massage your full balls as her own arousal levels spiking at your moans. 

You helped her out - not that she needed it, but you needed an outlet for the sharp pleasure running every fiber of your body and ran a hand through the soft strands of her dark blue hair, guiding her movements. When your tip struck the back of her throat she tightened around your shaft, causing an involuntary series of loud, throaty moans escaping in response. 

She gave it her all, going wild and sucking your cock with a fierceness and speed you had never felt before, resting herself at your base and staring up until she couldn’t take it anymore. Her lips left your shaft and pulled herself off as she furiously stroked your cock, and you were thankful to have a much-needed break. 

“Not bad, huh?” she said, with a strong sense of confidence. 

“Gonna be still feeling that in the morning, it was that good,” you said, feeling a bit lightheaded. “Let me return the favor.” 

Sakura didn’t give any protest and smiled as she stood upright, finding yourself still reeling from the pleasure she had given. She did her part, pulling her white top over her head and showing off her breasts encased in a blue lace bra. They weren’t the biggest, but they matched her body type, nice and perky and plentiful enough to grab a handful of. 

You let aggression take over for a moment and lifted Sakura on the table, laying her down on top of piles of papers and files everywhere. She welcomed the change in mood as you pulled her bra down, exposing her perky pale tits and feasting on them with your eyes.

Like a fire had been lit inside, your lips embraced again, this time with additional tongue, forgoing passionate kisses for sloppy wet kisses which were immediately returned. You kissed down her neck, planting several kisses on her sensitive skin before moving down to her collarbone, and finally reaching her chest. 

Not wasting a second you dove into her breasts and sucked on Sakura’s pretty pink nipples, earning several soft moans, and keeping your hands full as much as possible, sucking harshly and loudly, wet noises matching the volume of her cute whiny moans.

“That feels really good,” she said, her eyes even more filled with lust and desire. 

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted you?” you asked, and continued to lather up her sensitive nipples, suckling on them without any restraint as if you were intoxicated by the sounds Sakura let out.

She shook her head. 

“Since we started working together. I never forget those tight short skirts you always wear. But I kept all my thoughts drowned in my head.”

“Such a professional,” she teased. “But now you have me, so do with me what you want.” 

What a perfect invitation. As if to demonstrate, you placed a hand on her back and picked her up, spinning her body around as her palms went flat on the table. Planting a few kisses on her lower back, you squeezed her ass through her skirt before harshly yanking it down, exposing her delicious backside. Sakura’s ass was perfect, plump and round and the matching blue thong that nestled in between her cheeks was the only thing standing in your way.

You squeezed her warm flesh again wantonly, thoroughly enjoying her body and kneading it for several seconds, the softness of her cheeks brought nothing but joy to your senses. Keeping things going, you brought your mouth to her cheeks and planted your lips on each one, scraping your teeth gently against her skin and nibbling on them just a bit as Sakura gasped. 

“You must like my ass,” she said.

“I love all of you, but especially your ass.” 

“I’ll make a mental note to wear less underwear around you then,” she said, giving a cute smirk. 

Just the thought aroused you even more, and you gave her core a few licks through the delicate thin fabric of her thong, feeling a dampness there already.

“So wet.” 

“I have you to blame for that.” 

A few more licks up and down her pussy through her underwear made Sakura tremble as she moved her hips back towards your mouth. Before you could give her any more momentum you pulled away and flipped her body back over, her thighs planted firmly on the edge of the table as you took in the sight of such a delightful tight body. 

“I never got to tell you what a sexy fucking body you have.”

“Well now you did,” Sakura smiled. You peppered her tight tummy in several places with kisses before kneeling to the ground and grabbed the waistband of her thong. She lifted her legs up to help and you peeled it off her body, spreading her legs wide and enjoying the view. 

“Beautiful.” 

Sakura blushed. The same word could describe both her delicious looking pussy, and everything about Sakura. Her pink pussy lips glistened already, and you couldn’t wait to have a taste. 

You weren’t going to dive right in though, preferring to warm her up even though she was plenty wet. Lips firmly making contact on her soft creamy thighs, you kissed and licked them numerous times, hearing needy moans escaping as you ate them up, debating whether to leave marks on her pristine pale skin. 

Sakura whined. “You won’t tease me will you?” You responded with more kisses on her thighs before looking up.

“Only if you want me to.” 

“I-I don’t. Not now.” 

“Then I won’t,” you replied, giving a long lick up and down her wet slit and tasting her for the first time, proudly earning a cute whimper. 

“So delicious.” 

Running your tongue through Sakura's wet folds, you licked them clean as you explored her pussy. Keeping her legs spread wide open, you watched the contorted pleasure on her face as you dove in and devoured her pussy, sweet juices coating your tongue as every lick made Sakura melt. 

"Y-you're so good at that," she moaned, hips squirming and writhing, trying to grind herself against your tongue. 

You kept one hand on her tight stomach as you ate her out, her encouraging moans being music to your ears. Dragging your tongue up and down her folds you found her sensitive clit and flicked against it, earning even louder moans, this time more high-pitched. 

With your lips sealed against her clit, you turned her into a squirming mess, endlessly turned on by seeing a side of Sakura you never had before. Loud erotic moans continued by the second as she let herself go, juices leaking more and more into your mouth and you lapped up all of her nectar. 

Her taste was unforgettable and you could have eaten her pussy out for hours given the chance. Slow flicks against her clit turned into a merciless speed, feeling her body trembling as she was unable to keep herself stationary as her splayed out limbs moved on their own, chasing that desirable bliss as her hands formed tight fists. 

“Fuck, I'm so close, don’t stop, please don’t fucking stop."

You gave her the extra pleasure she needed, slurping away on her clit and adding extra pressure, honing in and helping her climax. Her moaning went frantic as you kept your lips surrounding her swollen nub, watching the bliss on her face as her movements became uncontrollable.

"I-I'm gonna cum!" she moaned, and not long after you felt her juices gushing into your mouth. Her back arched violently, hips bucking wildly and toes curling as you kept your face in between her thighs. She desperately grabbed your hair and kept you buried against her center as she rode out her explosive orgasm, drenching your lips and chin and feeling absolutely breathless. 

Sakura came beautifully for what felt like several minutes, slowly coming down from her high, chest heaving and gasping for air. Once her senses recovered her glazed over eyes looked into yours, showing approval and deep satisfaction. 

"It's been a while since I came that hard," she said, still struggling to catch her breath and her eyes looking delirious. 

“You’re just saying that.” 

Sakura shook her head. “I’m not. I swear I saw stars for a sec, that’s how good you were.” 

You didn’t know how to respond, but Sakura did. “Let’s not waste time. Fuck me now?” she said, half asking, half commanding.

You rose quickly and obeyed, lining yourself up and finding the right angle as you nudged your shaft against her wet opening. You didn’t enter yet, running your tip between her silky pink lips, feeling the slick collecting against your hard flesh. 

“You said you wouldn’t tease,” she whined, a hint of desperation in her voice.

“I did...but I still need to have a little fun with you.” 

She pouted as you felt more heat around your shaft, running yourself through her wetness. You aimed your cock carefully pushed forward against her hole, parting her wet pussy lips enough to penetrate her tight walls. You both gasped. 

Sakura was insanely tight. Most girls you’d been in were tight, but not like this, she had a vice-like grip on your cock. Her wetness was equal to how tight she was, and before even moving you just rested inside her and savored the sensations around your shaft. 

You watched for any discomfort as you pushed deeper inside Sakura, feeling even more tightness as she was filled halfway before withdrawing and earning another whine. 

Not giving her a chance to complain again you entered her again, slowly moving inch by inch until you had filled her to the hilt, resting every bit of your cock inside Sakura and keeping an eye on how she reacted to you. 

Her expression showed she was more than ready, and with the wetness you felt surrounding your cock she certainly felt ready, you cursed yourself for taking this long to do this. 

“You okay?” you asked. 

“I’m fine. Fuck me,” she demanded. You were quick to give in to her whims, using your hips as you moved in and out slowly, feeling your shaft being smothered with how wet and tight she felt, not to mention the incredible warmth that flooded everywhere and overwhelmed your senses. 

With your hands grabbing her slim her waist you pumped inside her at a gentle pace, wanting to feel every bit of her tight pussy and every sensation that smothered your cock. 

“Fuck, you’re so big. We never should have waited this long.” 

“We shouldn’t have. You’re so fucking tight, Sakura.” 

“I am, right? Fuck me, you feel so good inside already.” 

Her words and moans were the best encouragement, keeping steady hands on her waist as you upped the pace, thrusting more of you inside as your shaft became wetter. 

“That’s it, fuck me harder,” she demanded. Her hot flesh wrapped so tightly around your shaft as you moved in and out of Sakura, you felt like you were in another world. Her body was so tight and perfect, slim in all the right places with beautiful pale skin everywhere.

With every single thrust, you filled her tight hole up, your cock fitting so perfectly inside her as you stretched her out wide, feeling those slick walls forming around your cock and keeping you inside her where you belonged. 

It wasn’t enough to just fuck Sakura, you needed to experience all of her as you lifted her legs straight up into the air and let her ankles rest on your shoulder, never stopping the motion of your thrusts for a second. 

As you hugged her perfect legs Sakura felt much tighter, letting her satisfaction be known as you gave deeper and harder thrusts, her warm wet flesh feeling so damn good to plunge all of your cock into. It helped that she had gotten even wetter, her slick juices helping out with lubrication to allow smooth penetration as you slid in and out of her. 

“You’re so deep. I love it. Keep stretching me out.” 

You quickened the pace even more to Sakura’s delight, her eyes filled with pleasure and lust as you fucked her hard enough to make the table shake. Thankfully, her frame was small enough that you didn’t think it was a problem, but you decided to move the action elsewhere just in case. 

With a few more deep thrusts you scooped her off the table, withdrawing and carefully pulling her body off and licking her several times before rotating her body so her back was towards you. Nearly ripping her bra open, you yanked it off her body, leaving the two of you fully nude as piles of clothes strayed everywhere both on the floor and the table in front. 

“I rarely see you this aggressive. I like this side of you,” Sakura said, showing a smirk that didn’t last long as you bent her tight petite body over, her palms resting on the grey table. She looked back silently, eyes giving off what she needed. 

“I’m warmed up enough, go all in,” she demanded. 

Such an undeniable request would not go unanswered as you pushed her down even flatter, her back arching as you ran your hands all over her warm smooth skin. You didn’t let her stay empty for long, sliding back inside her with one long stroke to the hilt, allowing her tight walls to squeeze around you as began another rhythm as you began fucking her from behind. 

“Fuck...right there,” she said as you hit her spot with ease, spending little time with build up as you worked back up to your steady pace. With both hands grabbing her hips, she kept her back arched as you began to slam your hips against her ass, flesh jiggling every time you plunged in deep. The room became hotter as your bodies warmed up, sweat misting over the skin of both parties. 

“That’s so good, you fuck me so well.” 

Sakura looked back ever often as you thrusted harshly inside her pussy, letting you know she was enjoying everything you were doing to her. She reached behind her and found one of your wrists, guiding it to her breasts, and you got the message as you cupped and squeezed them both, hips moving wildly and uncontrollably.

The harder you fucked Sakura the wetter she felt, keeping your hands full of her perky tits as you played with her nipples, teasing and bringing out all the sensitivity in them as you kept yourself moving in and out as deep as possible in her.

You wanted to up the ante, not satisfied with such a simple position and grabbed both of Sakura’s slender arms and brought them behind her, pulling her body back up until she was mostly upright. Still keeping the motion going during the change of position, you hooked her arms and brought her body up against your chest as you took away her control.

With her ability to grab anything taken away you went wild, pounding into her tight hole as fast and hard as you could, pistoning into her hot pussy with every bit of energy and force as she screamed in delight. 

Sakura’s cries of pleasure went on and on as you hit all the right spots, your sweaty bodies smacking against each other, as harsh sounds of flesh slapping against flesh filled the room. You were taking all of your stress and tension out on fucking Sakura, and she was more than happy to absorb it all, every thrust powerful and strong and without warning, she came again. 

She drowned your cock in her slick juices, messily leaking everywhere and you tried to keep her upright as her legs turned to jelly as you fucked her through her powerful orgasm, only slowing down your pace when she had ridden it all out. 

Sakura could barely stand, her legs still shaking rendered useless as you helped her over to the table and she braced herself against it.

“You okay?”

She hesitated for a moment before answering. 

“Never been better,” she said in between tired breaths and laid down on the table in a familiar position, flat on her back. 

“As much as I want to ride you I don’t think this table will hold us both.” 

“There’s always the floor,” you teased. 

“Nothing’s sexier than a girl with rug burn,” she said mockingly. 

“Table it is then.”

And just like before she spread herself out, this time her completely nude body ripe for the taking, legs spread wide and arms over her head. 

“Besides, I like seeing your face when you fuck me.”

With smiles exchanged you didn’t waste time, sliding back inside her, her wetness being even more abundant now. 

“You’re drenched. You always get this wet?” 

She nodded her head. “When somebody makes me cum as hard as you did, yes. I get even messier when there’s a bed involved,” she said with a devilish smile. “Now come on, it’s your turn.” 

Trying to process her words, you resumed thrusting full speed, knowing that the finish line was just in reach. Gripping her soft warm thighs, you kept the rhythm up, every thrust deep as possible as Sakura grabbed both sides of the desk, desperate for anything to hold on to. 

Words didn’t mean much for either of you at this point in time, communication only existed in moans and obscenities. You made every thrust count as her perky breasts bounced as best as they could, driving your cock deep inside her pretty pussy and never wanted to leave her wet warmth. 

Sakura let her eyes close temporarily as the pleasure took hold over both of you, letting you savor the use of her body as your hips pistoned like a machine. The wet sound of her tight hole being drilled was the only thing you could focus on, you couldn’t hold on much longer. 

“Sakura…” you gasped out, unable to say much more than her name on your lips. Her eyes opened, sparkling wide. 

“Just cum inside me.” 

She didn’t need to say anything else. Her thighs still in your hands, you pumped yourself inside her for as long as you could without slowing down, both of you eagerly awaiting your climax.

The air in the room became lighter, everything else was a blur as you buried your cock inside Sakura’s pussy. Her gaze striking and anticipating your release, you hit your limits and let go of everything before erupting. Groaning loudly and throbbing inside her, you shot your thick cum deep inside Sakura, filling her up deep with your warmth to the brim, emptying everything you had saved up until her walls were a sticky mess. 

You kept moving inside her until you couldn’t as Sakura milked every drop out of your shaft, resting inside her as your orgasm ran wild over your body. Sakura had watched every second of your explosive climax and loved every moment. 

“It feels so good. Fuck, it’s so thick and warm,” Sakura said with an enthusiastic grin. 

You kept yourself inside her a while longer, not wanting to escape her warmth but also wanted to see the mess you had left inside her. You slowly withdrew your cock an inch at a time, and immediately your creamy load began leaking out of her splayed lips and dripping down her flushed thighs. 

“I should clean that off,” she volunteered. Too tired to respond, you watched as she gingerly moved off the table and knelt, gathering what was left on your depleted shaft, licking clean the combination of both of your fluids and satisfied with it all. 

“How’s that for some tension relief?” Sakura asked, giving an exhausted smile.

“I...really needed that. Thanks.” 

“You did, but no need to thank me. What good of a partner would I be if I didn’t help you out?” 

“Couldn’t ask for a better partner.” 

Sakura scrambled around the room retrieving her clothes and took a seat back on the table. She looked beautiful in the light, her hair out of place, sweat glistening all over her body, you didn’t want the sensual image to be broken.

“Not yet. I like seeing you naked.”

She smiled shyly in response. “Do you now? It was your first time seeing me like this. With any luck, it won’t be the last.” 

“You have more plans for me, Miss Miyawaki?”

“Of course. Not done with you just yet. Might turn this into a weekly thing.” 

“Let’s make it twice a week.” 

“Don’t get greedy on me,” she laughed. “But I could live with that.” 

“Sounds perfect. They have showers upstairs you know.”

“Wanting to go again so soon?” 

“I’m just getting started.” 

“In that case, let’s skip the shower and you can spend the night at my place.” 

“Think you can handle me all night?” you asked teasingly.

“Oh, I think it’s me you’ll have trouble with. You always did run out of stamina before I did,” she fired back playfully. “You can pick up a spare shirt in the morning, there’s a convenience store two blocks from here.” 

“What are we waiting for then?” 

[fontofmercy-archived2]

TROS spat in the face of every single abused child who was looking to this fairytale for hope. The sequel trilogy wasn’t about a farm boy looking for adventure or even an abused child falling to villainy, it was about three abused children from the different class systems all rising out of trauma and dysfunction. This was our fairytale, our story, and JJ Abrams perverted it into abuse apologist propaganda in a pathetically desperate attempt to appease the most hateful groups of fans who never understood or appreciated the story to begin with (which is why the story had to be butchered in order to appease them).

1.) Rey

Rey’s parents selling her for profit into slavery was portrayed as a good, loving thing. Child trafficking was literally portrayed as excusable, and even loving, in this children’s film. Just let that sink in for a second.

What is the message there? If your parents did something horrible that caused you years of trauma and torment, you should just not lose faith in them because they may have had a good reason (even if you have no evidence of that). Maybe a space wizard who has been dead for decades forced them to traffic you. This scene makes me want to vomit. This is how a children’s fairytale portrayed parents who sell their children into trafficking:

There is no excuse for this. Rey’s parentage was solved. Her identity crisis was over. This wasn’t needed except to force this abuse apologist message. Oh, and of course to feed the sexist fanboys a bit of eugenics to make them stop whining about how a woman could possibly be important and powerful.

TLJ was about Rey discovering her identity and letting go of her unhealthy, irrational dependency on parents who she never knew, who sold her to an abuser and left her to half-starve alone in a desert. TROS decided to give her a new identity crisis out of literally nowhere just so they could erase all that “You are not your parents, even if your parents don’t love you and/or aren’t special, you are still special and still deserving of love. You can find belonging ahead of you.” stuff with dynastic “Actually, your blood family does entirely define your identity and you should always assume they’re right even when all evidence points otherwise, just ignore your own trauma and blame it on a dead space wizard.”

The whole Rey Palpatine thing left a very bad taste in my mouth. Not just because it’s fucking stupid and something Reddit would write, but because Rey was horrible in TROS. She acted like she was possessed by Palpatine, she stabbed Ben (who she cares for and always had compassion for) to kill while he was distracted. She suddenly acted like she didn’t care about anyone around her. She just overall acted unrecognizable from the warm, loving, empathetic woman we saw in TFA and TLJ. The message here is clearly that because she has this “bad blood”, Rey can’t have an identity for herself. The only thing that saves her is taking on the identity of the good guys, she never finds her own. All the traits she’s had up until now don’t matter, who she actually is doesn’t matter. All that matters is what man’s blood runs through her veins. All Rey is is someone’s granddaughter, because if she wasn’t, then she’d really be nobody.

And thus, JJ Abrams decided that “Anyone can be special, even nobodies. Your worth is not defined by your class or your background.” was a stupid message and instead it should be pure eugenic “You’re only special if you have important people blood/name. Your identity is entirely your (male) family, not your own. No silly woman could have power of her own!”

Rey taking on the name of Skywalker is an utterly shallow attempt to fix the fact that they took every bit of Rey’s real identity from her, took half her soul (Ben is her dyad, two that are one), and then left her alone on a desert planet as if to say that her “true self” is the abused child she once was and that she can’t actually escape that. The moral of this fairytale was “You don’t need friends or love, as long as you have a glow stick (material possessions) and a super duper special name that makes you important (which you weren’t before, you were nobody).”

Not to mention that Rey basically named herself after Luke, no one else she knew actually used that name. And Luke didn’t do anything to deserve that, he rejected her at every single opportunity and only did the bare minimum to help her after being berated into it. Han was her surrogate father and the first person to offer her a life outside of Jakku. Leia was her loving mentor and pseudo-mother. Ben was the love of her life who has always been there for her when she needed someone to confide it, someone to see her true self and tell her she wasn’t alone. Luke was nothing but some cranky old guy who made her feel awful about herself and never accepted her (not to mention telling her she was inherently dangerous and also trying to murder her soulmate when he was a child which the real Rey was furious about).

2.) Finn

Finn’s character has not been given much in terms of development. For the most part, he’s been reduced to “Rey’s friend” and then “Finn’s friend”, with a little moment in there where he got to be with Rose and have his own identity but TROS of course decided to reward racist bullies and cut out Rose instead of giving the rest of the fans a satisfying story.

In TROS though, the one thing that Finn actually did that was heroic by himself, his character defining moment of turning from The First Order, was credited to the force and described like it wasn’t a choice at all. Which brings up a lot of questions and, as Han would say, “That’s not how the force works!”. It was so entirely unneeded to take that from Finn, but they gave up all of Rose’s potential screentime to do it.

There’s also the moment when Poe, our alleged hero, so hilariously (i.e callously) compares himself being a criminal to Rey being a scavenger and Finn being a stormtrooper. Completely ignoring the fact that they had no choice in that, as if their trauma doesn’t matter at all. It’s a small moment, but it was very insensitive and highlights how much the writers Did Not Care or even understand their main characters’ experiences.

3.) Ben

I don’t even know where to start with Ben Solo. His ending was the one that broke me as a person, I had so many hysterical sobbing fits over it that my loved ones were actually getting tired of it and it genuinely put me in a really bad place with my depression that I’m only just not getting out of.

Ben Solo’s story in TFA and TLJ was abuse victim’s epic, it was the story of a boy who was tortured and groomed from the time he was in his mother’s womb. A man who never knew a life without abuse. Ben Solo was described as a pure beam of light in his mother’s womb who was ensnared and tainted by a predatory force bigger and stronger than himself that he could not escape.

The feeling of being tainted and corrupted is common in abuse victims, and the fact that TROS told every single abused child out there “Yes, you really are tainted and corrupted. You do deserve to die before experiencing more than a moment of happiness and safety.” is something that I’ve yet to get over. It still infuriates me, it still breaks my heart. Ben’s entire arc up until this point has been about how he is still worthy of love.

And no, this isn’t me woobifying; it’s in the text of the films and the canon novels that Ben worked for his redemption, that he earned it. Ben fought Snoke from the time he was a child, but Ben was only a child and Snoke was too powerful, too relentless in his cruelty for him to withstand. The one and only person in the entire galaxy who had the training and the knowledge to protect Ben was his uncle, who chose to try to murder him in his sleep instead of protecting him. Ben was left with nowhere to turn except to his abuser. And even then, we see him struggle every single day to try and force himself to be this evil person that he never was. Ben was light itself who was convinced he was darkness through abuse and manipulation.

Then, when Ben found the first person who he could feel and connect with through the force, even though Snoke and Luke had abused and betrayed him - Ben still took the chance to reach out to Rey and be vulnerable with her. While interrogating an enemy, he took off his mask and revealed himself (something we only see him to for his father and when Snoke forces him to maliciously). In the middle of a war, under the thumb of the monster who has tortured him since forever, Ben was able hold Rey’s hand and tell her she wasn’t alone. He was still able to be kind. And because of that kindness, that connection, Ben found the courage to finally destroy his abuser and free himself.

Ben freed himself, and he did it out of compassion for and a need to protect Rey, not out of wrath or vengeance. If Ben were truly a creature of wrath, he would have killed Snoke before, but it was only when he had to see and hear and feel his soulmate be tortured by his own abuser that he found that courage. And yes, he did take Snoke’s place at first because that was the only way he knew how to protect himself. In his experience, people without power get hurt and that’s it. But even then, Ben was able to muster yet more strength to shed the armor that was Kylo Ren and stand with Rey unarmored against the very thing that has abused and tortured him since before he was born.

That took so much bravery and love and selflessness for Ben to stand there as himself, ready to fight his abuse and trauma head-on as Ben Solo. For him to admit he was hurt for the first time in the series. For him to crawl up a cliff with a badly broken leg out of love. For him to willingly give his very life force out of pure love. All of these things are incredible for Ben to have been able to do after all he had been through, these are more than deserving of reward. But TROS punished Ben for doing everything right, they proved that abusers always win in the end. Ben was going to survive until the last few edits. Everything we see was literally leading up to him surviving. This was Ben’s redemption, this was supposed to be him fighting for his new beginning and taking his first steps into the happiness and safety he earned, and should have had as a child, not a pointless struggle before succumbing to death:

But TROS told us, told traumatized and neurodivergent children who saw themselves in Ben, that it wasn’t good enough. That love isn’t good enough. That doing the right thing deserves to be punished. That children tainted by violence and abuse and darkness don’t deserve love and healing even when they earn redemption, even when they do everything in their power to do the right thing and be brave. The hopelessness of that is what broke me as a person. That is not what Star Wars is about. Star Wars is about redemption and love and hope; TROS was about cruelty covered up with a thin sheet of materialism and confused, poor storytelling.

[lunap95]

Chapters: 2/7 Fandom: Super Sons (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Jonathan Kent/Damian Wayne, Jonathan Samuel Kent/Damian Wayne Characters: Damian Wayne, Jonathan Samuel Kent, Maya Ducard, Collin Wilkes, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Stephanie Brown, Duke Thomas, Cassandra Cain, Alfred Pennyworth, Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent, Lois Lane, Kon-El | Conner Kent, Kara Zor-El Additional Tags: Roommates, Domestic Fluff, adopting a pet, High School, Jealousy, Running Away, Partners in Crime, Fake/Pretend Relationship, getting caught, Heartbeats, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Masquerade, Family Vacation, Marriage Proposal, JonDami Week 2021 Summary:

Hey hey hey!  I'm here pushing my "Jon is a horny teenager" agenda with the next @jondami-week!

Chapter 2: High School | truth or dare | jealous

You can also read it under the cut

When the bell finally rang, Damian left a heavy sigh, stretching his limbs after the nap his last class had been. Not too far, Maya teased him when the first thing he did was pulling his phone out. He ignored her comments and the knowing look Collin was throwing at him in order to open the first conversation lined on the chat thread.

Hey, alien freak, what time do you finish your practice?

Hey, angry gremlin

Coach wants us to practice our strategy for the next match, but probably around 5.

Fine, I will wait for you at the bleachers.

What? No! I will search for you after practice.

Don’t come!

Damian frowned at the message. Usually, after Jon finished playing around with the absurd football team, they would meet on the bleachers where Damian had probably spent the last hour sketching and then they would go to the helicopter waiting for them on the field. Depending on the day, they would either crash at the Kent flat in Metropolis, train on the Wayne mansion or go to the Fortress of Attitude to work on a case. So Damian did not understand why suddenly Jon did not want him to wait for him.

“Do you think he knows?” he asked Maya later while they were waiting on the bleacher, because Damian was not exactly good at following orders. Not too far, Jon and the rest of the team were running around, his blue eyes staring at Damian from the distance.

“About your crush on him?” questioned Collin with a smirk. “Dude, don’t worry, Jon isn’t exactly the brightest guy around, he probably thinks is super normal your best friend has a whole notebook full of sketches of you.”

“I wasn’t asking you,” a wrapped sketch of Superboy hit Collin on the head.

“Wilkes have a point, you aren’t exactly subtle,” shrugged Maya. “But no, probably he didn’t want you to get close to the football team.”

Her words kept floating on his head even after they left and Damian found himself staring at the white paper wondering why Jon would be against him befriending the members of this team. Almost as if summoned by thought, he saw Jon approaching him with one of his teammates next to him. Strangely enough, the kid seemed to be saying something to Jon with a smile that the half-kryptonian was not returning. He almost looked mad. Weird.

“Woah, look at the time, we need to leave superfast, don’t we, D?” Jon said when they reached Damian.

“Not really,” he answered. “Pennyworth had to take Richard to Bludhaven so we have to wait a bit for him.”

“Great!” suddenly intervened the other kid. “Hi, I’m David, one of Jon’s teammates.”

“Yes, I clearly see that,” he raised an eyebrow at Jon who only shrugged.

“Well, let me tell you is an absolute pleasure to meet you, Damian,” to his surprise, David took his hand to place a gentle kiss on it while throwing a wink in his direction.

It took all his willpower to not cringe at the action, but watching how Jon was frowning in a clear bad mood he tried to behave. After all, this David boy must be a good friend for Jon if he wanted to introduce him to Damian. Was this the reason Jon did not want him to come today? Because he was scared Damian was going to be rude with this kid? That could not do, he was going to show Jon that he could be perfectly polite.

-----

Their routine changed a little bit from there. David ate lunch with them and always joined them on the bleachers after practice. He had to admit the kid was not that bad if it were not for the constant innuendos he had to suffer in his presence (Anyone told you your eyes shine like emeralds; They say painters need to know a lot of anatomy so I’ll be here if you want to practice; The tone of your skin is made of dreams baby, wet dreams). And the worst is that Damian could not tell him to please throw acid on his face if he ever dared to repeat those sentences in his presence, because David was Jon’s friend, and he was trying to be supportive.

Which was one of the reasons why he said yes to that stupid party and why he was suddenly in a circle playing truth or dare with David and the rest of the football team. Jon was there too, but he seemed to be in other of his weird bad moods. He had been having a lot lately and Damian did not know why.

“So, Dami,” he was this close to throwing his drink on David if he ever repeated that stupid nickname. “Truth or dare?”

“Your dares are dull as a doorknob so I will choose truth,” he was also expecting this game to finish soon so he could talk to Jon.

“Do you like someone?”

The whole room seemed to quiet at the question and suddenly Damian felt a thousand eyes on him. He could lie but having Jon in the room meant he would probably notice and ask him later.

“Yes.”

“From this team?”

“I believe the rules of this game forced me to answer only one question,” the other players started to complain and even Collin shouted at him to answer. “Fine, yes, it is from the team.”

His reply seemed to be enough for the next player to continue with the game, but it also made Jon frown harder and leave the room. Damian excused himself in order to follow him, but the boy must have used a bit of his super speed and he lost track of him in the sea of people. So he tried looking outside thinking that maybe the young kryptonian wanted a quick flight but to his surprise, David was following him.

“Do you need something?” he questioned when it was obvious that David was there for him as there was no one around them.

“Actually, yes,” he smiled approaching him. “And I think you know what it is.”

Before Damian could tell he had no idea what he was talking about, David crashed his lips against his, pushing him against the outside wall of the house. It took him a few minutes to finally react to what was happening, but before he could push David away a sudden current hit him sending him over the bushes.

“What the-?” questioned the boy confused for what had happened.

“Don’t you dare to touch a single hair from his head!” Jon was practically hissing at David, his heat vision almost visible.

“Cut the crap, dude!” David got up. “Damian said he liked me, why don’t you let us make out in peace and go sulk about it somewhere else?”

“I have never in my life stated such a thing,” interrupted Damian completely scandalized.

“Yes you did, on the game just a few minutes ago.”

“That was not you, you absolute brainless idiot! I can barely stand you!” he exploded. “The only reason I was doing it was because you were Jon’s friend.”

“He is not my friend!” Jon shouted then. “He had been pestering me about introducing you for months, that’s why I didn’t want you anywhere close to the team!”

“Then why didn’t you say it sooner?”

“Because you seemed to actually like it and I was scared if I said something you would know I was jealous!”

“Why the absolute hell would you be jealous of someone like him?”

“Because I like you!”

“Well, I like you too!”

“Fine!”

“Good!”

“Perf- wait, when did David leave?”

They turned to see that the spot where David was just a few minutes ago was now empty. After having clear he had no chance with Damian he must have decided to leave them to his argument. The interruption made them realise what they have just said and they stared at each other for a second, before Jon erased the distance between them and pushed Damian against the wall in a heated kiss. The smaller boy melted at the gesture and let his hands run through his waist.

“You cannot,” Jon kissed him on the neck. “imagine how much,” he sucked making Damian moan. “I’ve wanted,” he let his tongue lick the spot his lips had touched just mere seconds ago. “to do this.”

“Did you really thought I liked him?” mocked Damian tangling his fingers on his hair.

“And I hated every minute,” Jon kissed him again, resting his head on his front. “I want you all for myself, D.”

“You dumb corn cob,” he kissed his nose. “You always had me.”

[peppersonironi]

For @duketectivecomics‘s Duke Week Day Six: All in the Batfamily

Summary: Duke gets woken up at night and is roped into a strange initiation ceremony into the bats. Despite initial chaos, Duke finds that he is actually enjoying himself, and that maybe being a part of this family isn’t such a scary thing. Throwing a glitter bomb at Batman is definitely scary though.

“Are you ready?”

Duke opened his eyes, to find Dick Grayson hovering a few inches away from his face. “Gah!” Duke let out, scrambling backwards on his bed till he hit the headboard. “What are you doing?”

“Poor reflexives,” Duke looked past Dick to find Damian frowning at him, “And he should have known we were present before waking.”

“Settle down, kid,” This time Jason spoke, “Not everyone is as freaky as you.”

Duke blinked the sleep away from his eyes, and surveyed the scene before him. Dick was still by his bed, grinning. Damian and Jason stood behind, along with Cass, Tim,  and Stephanie. Wow, when was the last time he’d ever seen all these guys together in the same room without killing each other? Duke had a worrisome feeling that he was the reason for this strange behavior.

“Um,” Duke asked, “What’s going on? It's 2 am.”

“We’re welcoming you to the family!” Dick’s grin grew impossibly wider.

“But I’ve been here four months?”

Tim shook his head. “But you haven’t had a proper welcome, yet. We had to wait till everyone was here, and Steph insisted she be a part.

“Heck yeah!” The blonde teen said, “I’m a part of this family, whether you like it or not! Bruce even gave me an allowance!”

“You tricked him into giving you his credit card,” Jason replied dryly.

“Like you haven’t done that before.”

“I don’t bother tricking him.”

Duke looked back and forth at the exchange, trying to wrap his mind around what was happening.

“That doesn't answer my question.”

Damian sighed. “In order to truly be a Wayne, you must go through the initiation period.” “That's not ominous at all.”

“Tour,” Cass said, “You learn things. Not bad, fun.”

Duke nodded. “Thank you, Cass.” He was still confused, but at least she was trying.

“If you would get dressed, we have much ground to cover.” Damian sniffed, but even Duke could tell the kid was excited.

Dick backed away from the bed. “We'll be right back, Duke, get ready!”

*****

Five minutes later, Duke found himself hastily dressed and standing in the entrance hall of Wayne manor. His siblings were arrayed in a semi-circle before him, all of them in weird red robes. They had managed to set up tiki torches at intervals around the room, adding to the atmosphere of doom.

“We are gathered here today to celebrate the bonding between two families. That of the Thomas' and that of the Waynes.” Duke blinked at Tim. “Why are you making it sound like we're getting married?”

“Shh!”

“In this great ceremony, We accept you, Duke Thomas, into our fold. After this day henceforth, you will be one with the bats.” Tim took a deep breath and continued reading from the scarily large book in his hands. “The bonding day is set in three parts. The first, a display of power. You shall be shown our places, and our things, so that you are made privy to the goings on in the lives of Gotham's most secretive family. Next, You shall be given tasks by each member of the clan – excepting Bruce – that you must complete. Fail even one, and be warned.” Tim stared Duke down. “You have been warned. The final and most dangerous stage of all …” Tim stopped reading, and every single one of the gathered Waynes began to stomp their right foot. This went on for several seconds. “Is … Cake. Do you accept the challenge, Duke of the Narrows?”

Duke sighed. He didn't quite like the sound of this, but he might as well. “Sure.”

Jason whooped, and even Damian cracked a smile.

“Well,” Steph said, “let's get on with it!”

* * * * *

“And it was in this room that Dick broke his first chandelier.”

Duke paused, staring at Jason who had taken over as tour guide after Tim started foaming at the mouth. “First?”

The now recovered Tim grinned. “Yup! He's broken twenty three and a half in his fifteen year stay at the manor.”

Duke nodded. “Alrighty then.”

“Over here are some pictures of Bruce's great-great-great-great-great-great-great something aunts. If you look closely, you'll see the outline of mustaches. Bruce made us erase them.” Stephanie bounced by, pointing out exactly which paintings she had decimated.

The tour had been going on for almost an hour now, and Duke would be lying if he said he wasn't having fun. Sure, he had seen most of the stuff here, but the stories that went along with them were amazing. It was sweet to know which room Dick insisted they have a family movie in, back when it was only him, Bruce, and Alfred. It was hilarious to find out that the strange purple splotch on the love seat in one of the east wing's drawing rooms was from the time Damian insisted on trying slushies. Or the many tails that arose from the kitchen. From Bruce attempting to cook (He'd always wondered why Alfred had banned him) to the time Jason sleep walked himself into making beignets.

Cass had insisted they tour the air vents (He didn't know you could get into them, let alone that they could fit people, and wasn't quite sure what to do with the information) and trying to get Jason squished in was a highlight of the night. Cass also showed Duke the best hiding places in the manor, in case he ever needed to hide during a prank war. Or Bruce.

Stephanie knew the places with the thinnest walls, and also other tricks for listening in on conversations. She said she'd never had to use the information, but Duke wasn't convinced.

Dick explained the pros and cons of each chandelier in the manor, along with a very detailed instruction pamphlet on getting yourself onto one. Duke promised himself he'd never try.

Tim knew all the best wifi spots in each wing. Somehow, the wifi wasn't the exact same in every part of the house.

Jason knew the best sniper perches, and how to get there. Also, the coziest spots in the library, primed and ready for any avid bookworm. (Duke was actually excited for the second. He really did enjoy reading, but usually stuck to his room)

Damian was very solemn as he brought Duke to random places around the house that were apparently Alfred's (The cat's) and Titus' favorite hang outs. “In case you need a friend who is not as fallible as humans.”

The tour ended on the roof, each sibling taking to their claimed section. Duke was permitted to choose his own, and did so. He ended up picking a quiet outlook on the forrest, over the west wing.

Duke was given a few minutes of peace, not noticing till a little ways in that he was alone. Huh, he thought, this is kind of nice.

“Alright, Narrows,” Duke turned to find everyone staring at him, “You ready for the fun part?”

* * * * *

“Now lift up your left foot two inches … got it!”

Unfortunately, the first challenge that was given to Duke by Dick, had him breaking his earlier promise to himself. For you see, Duke Thomas now found himself wrapped in the crystal and gold of Wayne Manors largest chandelier.

“Are you sure this is safe?” Duke asked for the seventh time.

“Perfectly!” Dick replied, but the snickers and filming phones of his siblings made Duke question the acrobat's words.

Duke shifted on the chandelier and heard a soft cracking noise. He froze, terror rushing through his entire body.

“That was just me!”

Duke looked to down to find Stephanie pulling a couple twigs from her hair, and snapping them in two. She had a manic grin on her face. Oh, she knew exactly what she had done.

“Just don't do it again!”

“Don't worry, Duke,” Dick called, “You're almost done! You just need to chill for a bit longer. I'm gonna toss up this candy bar, and you need to eat it. Just try not to look like Superman when he sees kryptonite. If you don't catch it, you fail.”

Duke took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Okay, I'm r-”

The candy bar was flung up a second before Duke expected it, causing him to fumble and reach out a bit to far to grab it. The chandelier swung dangerously, and Duke let out a scream. A moment later, however, the swinging calmed down, and Duke paused long enough to register the roaring laughter coming from bellow him.

“Stop!” Duke said, “This isn't funny!”

“Yeah, it kinda is.” Tim was the first to speak, after having to lean heavily on Steph. “You forget, Duke, that each and every one of us had to go through this. It's great to see someone else panic. One of the few pros to Bruce's adoption addiction.”

Duke glowered. “Just stop laughing.”

“Chill, Duchess,” Jason grinned up at him. “Just eat the candy and you can come down.”

Duke sighed and unwrapped the kit-kat that had given him the worst fright of his life – and that included everything he saw on patrol. He gingerly broke it in two, put on a gruesome grin, and took a bite.

Everyone cheered, and Duke's grin became slightly more genuine. “You have completed the first task,” Tim said in a solemn voice. “Let us move on.”

Everyone filed out of the room, and Duke started to panic. “Hey wait! How do I get down!”

* * * * *

“I don't know if I can do this.” Duke sat in the batchair, Alfred having moved graciously to allow Duke to complete his task.

“It's simple Narrows,” Jason said, “Just press the button and ask the question. Simple.”

“But does it have to be … that?”

Jason looked very serious as he answered, “yes.”

Duke sighed. “Here goes nothing.” he reached forward and press the unmute button. “Hey, B?”

Batman's growl came through the speakers. “What are you doing awake, Signal? It's the middle of the night.”

“But you're awake.”

“I'm part of the night patrol. You're not. So what are you doing awake?”

“I need to ask you a question.”

Bruce sighed. “Go ahead.”

Duke sighed and looked back at his sibling who were all grinning maniacally. He turned back to the computer. “Does Santa exist?”

Bruce let out the most long suffering sigh Duke had heard that week. “One of your siblings better not have put you up to this.”

Duke looked at Jason, who was frantically shaking his head. “No, B. It's just, the freaking devil is real, right? And the greek gods, and a whole bunch of other stuff? So why not santa?”

Bruce sighed. “Good night, Signal,” and he logged off.

“Not our best,” Jason said, shaking his head, “next time we should ask how babies are made.”

“NEXT TIME?!?!?!!?”

* * * * *

“You can get it down in one gulp if you try hard enough!”

Duke looked over skeptically at Tim, who was making Duke drink a special blend of espresso, five hour energies, and Monster.

“You just need some ambition!”

Duke gulped. “Ambition to die?”

Tim sighed. “Just do it. If you don't, you'll fail the challenge, and you DON'T want to find out what happens then.” His point was emphasized by every single one of the bats unleashing their personal batglares upon him.

Duke grimaced, grabbed the venti Starbucks's cup, and gulped it down. He swayed for a moment. “I'm never sleeping again.”

Tim grinned, “Nope!”

* * * * *

Damian's task was relatively simple. His pets had to approve of him. They'd already gotten Alfred's, Titus', and Bat-cow's approval, and they were outside trying to find Jerry the turkey.

“Got him!” Stephanie called from bushes, and a loud squawking ensued. She walked over, carrying the bird and placing in front of Duke.

Everyone stood still for a moment, then Damian spoke. “He approves.”

Duke grinned. “Great, what's the next challenge?”

Damian smirked, and Duke's stomach dropped. The eleven year old turned around and whistled sharply. Large wing beats sounded from far off and a huge shape appeared on the horizon. As it approached, Duke could make out what appeared to be a large, fuzzy dragon. The animal landed right in front of Duke, and Damian continued.

“Thomas, meet Goliath.” the tiny terror turned to the beast. “Goliath, decide his fate.”

* * * * *

“So, what do you have for me, Cass?” Duke asked warily. He knew Cass was the nice one, but he wouldn't put it past her to choose something … questionable.

Cassandra smiled sweetly, leaned forward, and whispered in Duke's ear, “hug Jason.”

Duke sighed. That wasn't too bad. He turned around and faced Jason head on. “So, what did she sa-”

Jason was cut off by Duke launching forward and wrapping his arms around Jason's huge chest.

The young man sighed. And wrapped his arms around Duke. “Eh,” he said when he saw the looks he was getting, “Duchess isn't too bad.”

Dick grinned. “Does that mean I get a hug?”

Both Duke and Jason tensed. “On the count of three,” Jason whispered, “We run.”

Dick grinned and opened his arms.

“One.”

He took a step forward.

“Two.”

Dick smiled. “Come on, guys!”

“THREE!! RUN!!!”

* * * * *

“Now pour delicately, Master Duke,” Alfred said as he instructed Duke on how to properly have tea. Everyone had insisted on going to Alfred before Stephanie's challenge, which had Duke worried slightly, but he honestly enjoyed having tea.

“Don't forget to have good posture,” The butler continued. Duke frowned slightly. Maybe this would be longer than he thought.

* * * * *

“Now a tad more glitter. You can never have enough!”

Duke followed the instructions, finishing up the glitter bomb which Stephanie had taught him how to make. He wasn't sure what it was going to be used for, but he knew it wasn't gonna be good.

“Great job, Duke!” Stephanie grinned, then turned to Dick. “How much longer till Bruce gets back from patrol?”

Ah. Yeah, this definitely wasn't going to be good.

“Five minutes,” Dick replied, “Everyone in position!”

And so Duke found himself dragged into the Batcave, glitter bomb behind his back, and a hastily memorized instruction to throw and run in his mind. Five minutes later, the batmobile rolled into the cave. Bruce jumped and and came over to Duke.

“What are you still doing up?”

“Bruce, would you ever disown me?”

Bruce frowned and pulled off the cowl. “No, Duke. Of course not.”

Duke nodded. “Would you ever break your no-kill rule just for me?”

Bruce smiled and shook his head. “Never.”

“Okay, most important question,” Duke paused and took a deep breath, “Would you ever blame me for something that isn't my fault?”

“Not if I can help it, I promise you that.”

Duke took another deep breath and nodded. “Alright.” He then in one swift movement pulled out the glitter bomb from behind his back, and threw it at the Dark Knight of Gotham. The Caped Crusader. The Batman.

Duke turned and bolted, leaving a stunned Bruce Wayne in his wake. Once he was in the stairwell, he turned in time to see Bruce completely covered in purple glitter. He looked down at himself, then up to the heavens.

“STEPHANIE!!!” He yelled.

* * * * *

“That was legendary, Narrows!”

Duke grinned back at Jason. Sure, lobbing a glitter bomb at the guy who was currently giving you a home (not to mention said guy was  THE BATMAN) had been one of the worst experiences of his life, but even he had to admit it was funny.

“Seriously, Duke,” Tim replied, “I don't think I could have done that.”

“And the dialogue leading up to it!” Dick grinned as he sat next to Duke on the couch.

“It was worthy of cake,” Damian replied, a smile on his face.

“Speaking of cake!” Stephanie announced as she strolled into the room, a large cake in hand. On the top read 'one of us'. She set it down on the coffee table in front the sofa.

Cassandra grinned as she handed Duke the cake knife. “One of us,” she said, and the chant was soon picked up.

“One of us! One of us! Once of Us!”

Duke grinned as he sliced through the cake. Everyone cheered.

“So how do you feel, Duke? Got the crazies yet?” Stephanie asked as she collapsed on the sofa.

Duke grinned. “Not yet.”

Jason laughed. “Give it some time, kiddo.”

Duke settles back and took a bite of his cake – blue velvet – and pressed play on the movie. Everyone settled down, eating cake and enjoying The Incredibles.

* * * *

A few hours later when Duke was the only awake, Bruce quietly walked into the room.

“How'd initiation go?”

Duke sighed contentedly. “Good.”

Bruce smiled. “Get some sleep. You did well tonight.”

Duke didn't bother trying to figure out the implications of that sentence, opting instead to settle back into the cuddle pile. Cass, tucked under his arm, Damian on his lap, Dick wrapped around his other side, Stephanie atop Jason, and Jason and Tim woven into the chaos of limbs. It was warm and strangely comfortable.

Duke sighed, smiling. It's nice, he thought, belonging.

[missramu]

Johnny Joestar headcanons, part 2

Hello, I am back! This time I've came with more headcanons for my sweet boy, and, since I didn't want to add them to the original post –even though I added a lot of them all through the entire post, you'd like to check for changes!– I decided to make a part 2! So, hold your reins cowboys, and here we go!

✰ Since Johnny has blond hair, fair skin and blue eyes and his father clearly doesn't, it's fair to guess that he inherited his appearance from his mom. Nicholas has darker hair, but it's still a mix of his mother's blond hair and his father's.

✰When he was born, his mother was really proud of him, and always cherised her beloved baby son –without neglecting Nick–. But his father was different. In social gatherings, after Anne introduced her youngest, an annoyed George would interrupt her to add “Yes, that is Jonathan; but here is our first born Nicholas, isn’t he a great little man?”. Poor Nick was still a child hiding behind his father, but he obeyed and greeted everyone properly, only to hide again right after he was done with the greetings. Nick was indeed closer to their father, thing that George also favored by treating him so nicely; but soon after the eldest sibling found out how his father treated his baby brother, he started to grow apart from him, even if it hurt him deeply to "lose" George.

✰ Growing out as a shy boy from a wealthy family that also happened to travel a lot made him a kid with little to no friends. He never spent much time in the same place, and, since he was shy, he usually didn’t have the courage to approach other kids; and they wouldn’t approach him from coming from the Joestar family –and if they did, they were pushed by their parents in order to het something from him, usually money–. Johnny has always felt lonely for that, since everyone who approached left after they got what they wanted, or they could no longer get a benefit from being "close" to the Joe Kid.

✰ Johnny used to have restless nights very frequently, as nightmares always woke him up in the middle of the night. He would wake up crying and shouting, breathing heavily as he tried his hardest to calm down. In his nightmares, he usually sees his brother’s death or painful scenarios that trigger him.

✰ He hates feeling vulnerable, because he's been hurt for showing his feelings. The youngest Joestar believes that life will definetly beat him if he tries to do good, to soften, or even fall in love. Little by little, he’s working to erase that belief of his mind, reminding himself that he's worthy.

✰ As I wrote in the last post, Johnny has scars and is ashamed of them. Whenever he gets intimate with someone, he will always abstain from getting fully naked. He claims that keeping as many clothes on as possible is “making his partner a favor”, as they won’t see his scars if his back and legs are covered. He will try to mantain his clothes on even if he’s alone and it’s a hot day, because they also represent things Johnny despises: failure, his fall from the top, and all the loneliness and weakness from his time on the hospital.

✰ After gettin used to each other, now Slow Dancer gets really happy whenever Johnny is around. As soon as she notices his scent, she will whinny in anticipation, as if she was greeting him. This makes Johnny feel utterly happy, as her happy mood makes him happy too –and reminds him that, at least, she is happy to have him–. Johnny also talks to her, having full conversations; and sometimes it looks like Slow Dancer understands, as she replies back with neighs, nickers and snorts.

✰As said, Johnny is not verbal with his feelings, and is touch-starved. When hugged, he would make a “pretend” fuss; but his annoyed facade wears off when he, slowly, starts hugging back, sinking into the warmth with his head placed on the other’s shoulder or intertwinning his fingers into their hair.

✰Johnny is kind of an overthinker. Most of his insecurities and concerns come from him rummaging every bad thing that happened to him –to ultimately make him believe that they’re his fault–.

✰He’s sensitive. He’s always been, but he’s been trying to hide that trait deep inside of him for quite a long time. Johnny succeeded on keeping his mask on for quite a time –because as soon as he was alone he would speak out his mind and heart to himself, in order to calm down–, but now he’s unable to hide his emotions for too long. Whether it is anger, happiness or sadness, they always end up showing. He can’t help it; he tries to seem strong and cold; but his heart and true personality avoid him from faking his true self.

✰Even though Johnny doesn’t race anymore, he will accept a little race between friends. Since no one is able to beat him and Slow Dancer, Johnny likes to exaggerate it a bit, and as soon as he "wins" he will start mimicking the sounds of crowds cheering and the sports commentator notes, such as “Johnny Joestar keeps undefeated!" "The Joe Kid strikes back, ain't no race he can’t win!”. After that, he giggles to himslef, remembering the good old times as a famous jockey.

✰If he has to go through breaking up with a partner, he would probably say to them that he understands it; that he gets it if they leave him for someone else. Blame his low self-esteem for that.

✰No one is allowed to touch his wheelchair. That's for two reasons: he feels ofended when someone asks him if he needs help, since he perceives it as if they are assuming he's defenceless and weak –something completely wrong–; and because he doesn’t want to bother anyone. It may take a while, but once he has get to truly know you, he will end up admitting that, although he is not weak, he may need help sometimes; and will allow you to touch his wheelchair and push him around.

✰ There’s something that makes him annoyed enough to immediately furrow his brows, and that is when people crouch down to talk to him when he’s in the wheelchair. He tolerates people bending over to hear him better; but literally crouching before him makes him feel as if they are belittling him.

[purplerose244]

Peacefully

Here for this year’s Ninjago Secret Santa! Man I love this event, thank you a lot @coco-jaguar for organizing it once again! ❤ Hi @davisisacommonname, I’m your secret santa! Here’s you gift, I hope you like it! 😊😊

Merry Christmas and happy festivitites!! 💕💕

Summary: It’s a day like others, just without the usual mayhem shaking the entire city. A time to think of less stressful possibilities.

“So, what did we learn today?”

“That dares are stupid?” As they got back inside the monastery, finally escaping the chilling winter air, Nya raised a gigantic eyebrow at the green ninja. At which the mighty leader seemed to shrink the littlest bit. “… that dares involving the master of lighting putting lights on the tree using spinjitzu, resorting in him entangling himself into the wires and making every single bulb explode by electrification, are stupid?”

“There you go.” The master of water sighed loudly. “I don’t even know why I’m surprised it happened.” Despite the nonchalance of this blondie, the brand-new lights that they had been forced to buy and how she was probably the only one irritated about it – especially since Kai had been laughing hysterically for ten minutes straight afterwards –, she smiled.

Lloyd mimicked her, probably sensing he was not in mortal danger anymore, taking off scarf and hat. His golden locks puffed up as soon as the headpiece was off.

“Does the fact that I lost against Cole count as enough punishment?”

“Mhm?”

“I bet with him it was going to be Kai the first to cause an incident, he was supposed to be the one to take the bet. Now I’m in debt of one week of chores.” Another eyebrow was raised, less furious, more judging. “What? I’m trying to catch up, apparently the guys used to bet on everything when they first formed the team, from who was going to be the green ninja, to who was going to be the first to find out the identity of Samurai X! Like, I’m that prophesied green savior, and I knew about your little escapades.” Nya couldn’t help the little smirk. Ironically, the green ninja did turn out to be the first to discover the truth. “I could’ve won two times already, I wanna keep up now.”

They stepped into the kitchen, hearing faraway sounds. The others were most likely elsewhere putting up less expendable decorations. Nya was already looking towards the stove, thinking of nothing other than hot chocolate. Knowing Lloyd, they were on the same page.

“Okay, that’s uselessly prideful and kind of adorable, but this better not turn into a gambling addiction little one.”

“Nya, my father was the king of the Underworld. Is there really a worse evil than that?”

She couldn’t argue back.

Lost in thoughts about something warm to melt her frozen bones, she almost jumped when the sudden scribble came to her ears, and one extremely peaceful whistling that they were all too accustomed to at this point. In the living room right next, sitting on the sofa with the television uncharacteristically switched off, was Cole. Eyes on a random notebook he had on his knees, a pencil in the air, wearing that ridiculous sweater Jay found at the mall with muscled arms drawn over the sleeves – such a miracle of an ugly sweater.

He looked extremely taken by his activity, munching the end of the pencil every once in a while. Seeing their official lifter so calm and captured by whatever mindless activity had forced him to sit down was curious. It did happen before, but lately it got rarer. It was always a nice view.

Nya looked at the green ninja, who pointed at the kitchen with his thumb, right where the mugs where. She nodded, and went to take place next to the master of earth.

Who jumped right away, giving her a look.

“What the…? You’re back already? I didn’t hear you get in.”

“Wow, you don’t say!” From the kitchen the blonde’s voice erupted. “It’s almost like we’re ninja or something, unbelievable!” It followed accurate noises made by mouth, and if they knew him – and after years they absolutely did – then the little brat was probably mimicking an explosion coming out of his head – he was hanging around Jay a little too much.

Nya giggled, while the master of earth rolled his eyes with a little grin.

“Nice to hear you’re all in a good mood after our little blackout. You got the lights?”

“All done. Sorry about the scare, but it looked like you were in your own world.” She tilted her head, looking around. The living room was getting more festive, but it missed at least half the holly. “Didn’t you guys finish while we were gone?”

“We were going to, then something came up and we can’t really continue until Zane comes back to the shop… Kai accidentally set the tree on fire while you two were gone.” Her loud facepalm spoke louder than any of them. “I think Wu is still giving him an earful as he did with Jay as we speak … and before you ask Lloyd, Jay made a mess before Kai. So I still won the bet.”

“Aww, for once that I actually need Hot Shot to cause a mess!” The green ninja came out of the kitchen, the kettle starting to heat up into the kitchen, pout clearly in sight. For being their brave leader and the strongest ninja of all, he was still kind of a kid – although in all honesty, weren’t they all? “Anyway, what got you so into it that you forgot how to hear?” He walked until he was behind the couch, leaning over the master of earth’s shoulder and smiling. “Hey, that’s pretty cool! I didn’t know you could draw!” His surprised tone came out sincerely, especially since it felt like forever since they had found each other in this weird family. Finding new details was always a shock.

Nya scooted closer as well, smiling at the familiar shading of the chicken drawn onto the paper, with the real one sleeping over a pillow in front of the tv.

“You still have a nice touch. I haven’t seen you do it ever since it was just the four of you in action, and this little evil brat was in some random snake prison.” Lloyd mouthed an ‘oohhh’ of understand as why he didn’t remember. “To be more specific, I’m pretty sure it was back when instead of listening to my research about the Serpentine, you guys have tried to poison me with perfume.” Good thing no villain knew about her little Achilles hill.

Cole snorted, pressing his eraser on the corner of the paper.

“You were telling complicated stuff to that airhead that is your brother, to the guy that was lookin at your in awe while trying his hardest to ask you out, and to a nindroid. A robot. You can’t really blame us.”

“What’s your excuse then?” The master of earth raised his piece.

“I’m pretty freaking good at this.” Nya snorted. Again, no arguments here. “You know… I’ve been thinking about those times. And it’s not like it was easier, but I guess we didn’t really know how much things could become complicated and return back then.” Cole looked over the drawing, shrugging. “But I’m in vein of taking something back from there, exactly because we don’t know when we could get called into action again. It’s little, but it’s still mine… I felt silly like that this morning.” He grinned of that introverted nature that, despite years, was still a part of him.

And it was okay. It was great even. Nya gave him a shoulder.

“Hey, it’s not silly, it’s good.”

“Yeah! All of us should do something other than fighting.” Lloyd chimed in, dropping next to Cole on the other side, smiling. “Like for example, even though it’s been a pretty shady part of my life, I kinda miss PE back at Darkley’s. Moving just for the sake of moving. We should play sometimes, not because of training, it could be fun… or Nya could annihilate us, whichever comes first.”

“I’m not that competit-” The master of water blinked twice, shaken by the quickest flashback of her life. “… no wait scratch that, I totally am.”

Cole snickered, tapping the notebook with his pencil.

“Besides having as a golden rule to never put the blacksmith brothers against each other-” It could be the time Ninjago actually managed to get completely destroyed for good. “I would be down for that, why not? No sparring or anything, just a friendly match of whatever. I didn’t even get to do that as a kid, dad would always say that I could risk putting muscles where a dancer didn’t need them…” He flexed one arm, the massive hill pulling up the drawing onto the sleeve. He grinned with satisfaction. “How about football? I’ve always wanted to try football!” Oh for whatever reason other than having the strength to tackle a mountain?

“Absolutely!” Lloyd nodded eagerly. “Let’s do it! Oh, and soccer too, Brad and I used to try that a lot when we were kids!” He seemed to absolutely glow and the perspective, and it was kinda sad that such a simple reality represented an actual opportunity for him.

Before Nya could get lost into more self-deprecating depressive thoughts, and the fact that not even one of them had a normal childhood except maybe for Jay – and considering the still not so clear Cliff Gordon erased reality affair that was still up to discussion –, there was a loud whistle coming from the kitchen. The green ninja immediately sprouted into action, sprinting towards the sound. As soon as Cole decided to put down his drawing, seeing as the chicken had woken up to go bother someone – bet on Kai –, the blondie came back with three steaming mugs, giving to them all.

The master of water held up hers – a blue one with a storm cloud on it saying ‘Too tide to talk’ –, smiling at the distinct bitter scent of black cocoa. They knew each other tastes way too well.

“Sounds good to me. I also fancy basketball, so I’m down for that.”

“Nice! Mm, but how about other hobbies? Nya?” Cole took his time to take a generous sip from his mug that was literally dripping because of the amount of marshmallow – covering slightly the orange surface with ‘I’m a grounded person, like my coffee’ written on it –, while the gray ninja frowned a little. “Anything you would like to regain? You never really stopped with engineering so I’m guessing that’s out of the way.”

“Yeah, but,” She hummed, tracing the warm cup with her fingers. “That wasn’t a hobby or something I liked to do, not at first at least. It was just like Samurai X, a way to show you guys I could do what you did, even better. It grew on me, but it’s kinda work too, I’m proud of it but nowhere near as passionate as Jay or Cyrus Borg could be.” It was all about her tendency of holding onto the things she excelled at after all, the one obstacle that had almost cost her the true potential of her element. Despite her steps forward, putting a difference between liking to be good at something and liking it was still a little complicated. Then again… “… maybe painting?”

Cole grinned in surprise, Lloyd raised his head from his cup showing an impressive chocolate mustache – along with that black mug saying ‘It’s morning so you green and bear it’… and yes those mugs were all Jay’s presents.

“Whoa, where did that come from?”

“Yeah no offence, but you never stroke me as the artistic type.”

“None taken, it’s not exactly something that I feel it belongs to me, but maybe that’s why I used to like it. Because it was so far I didn’t have to think too much about it.” Nya smiled, taking another sip. “Remember the second Steep of Wisdom Wu opened in the middle of Ninjago City? To attract more customers I decided to work on a mural, right on the side. I don’t even know why, I just bought paint, brushes and a suit and started.”

“Oohh, I remember the one!” Lloyd snapped his fingers, the marshmallow in his cocoa shaking in the movement. “It was the one with the big majestic Wu serving the customer, I thought he hired an artist for it! That was cool!”

“You’re not saying it just because you’re my little brother, right?”

“Oh no, if it was ugly I would make a manifest all about it exactly because I’m your little brother. Brotherly code, smack talk every time it’s possible.” And then he fist bumped with his earthly brother nearby, wearing that same stupid grin. “But seriously, you were good at it. We finally have some free time to our hands, maybe it could be a good time for a new work. We still need the mural of that Day of the Departed where Cole turned back human after all, since those monks decided they had ‘lost the harmony of the inspiration’.” No one had been happy with leaving that important adventure behind – too bad they were in a monastery, a place of peace.

Cole hummed mindlessly, munching a marshmallow.

“Tell you what, how about we buy drawing and painting materials together for Christmas shopping?” He chugged down his drink, releasing a very satisfied sigh before leaning his back softly over the couch. “It’s usually Zane or Pix, we could take over for once and no, don’t give me that look water lily, it’s not for buying an extra cake and yes, do give me that look greenie, if you come along we’re so escaping and get to the sweet shop.” And there it came, another fist bump.

She had signed up for this.

She had signed up for this the moment she had let herself being overtaken by a bunch of skeletons, a past hit on her pride that to this day made her want to take a bone and break it in halves every time she thought about it – sports were going to be massacres, she was kinda looking forwards to it.

“I’m bringing leashes for you two vampires with sweet teeth, but it’s not a bad idea. And I like the mall in this period, it could even bring some inspiration as to what to paint.”

“How did you decide the first time?”

“I just thought of a simple design to get more clients.” Nya finished her drink, giving her eyes to a very curious looking blonde, thinking that it had been so long. It had always been so long, every single time she reevoked a part of her life, even though she was still so young. It was that eventful. “I worked on that project all day… but after it melted under the sun, it got ruined because of the wind and a lightning decided to strike it right in the middle, I just splashed it with all the colors I had and spinjitzued the heck out of it.”

“… rage, the mark of an artist.” Lloyd snickered, then he froze, suddenly beaming at the two. “Hey, why don’t you two work on something together? Cole makes the drawing and you paint it, it could be like a Christmas gift or something!”

Nya popped her mouth opened. How did they never think of that? How did they never while they had been battling villain after villain after villain after- Oh, there was the answer.

She turned to the master of earth, who looked just as engaged with the idea, if not more.

“Heck yeah, let’s do it! I can sketch a few ideas!”

“I do have colors I never got to try last time…”

“And I know mom got a few old frames that didn’t get accepted by the museum, I’m sure we can find a good one for this.” Lloyd grinned, scratching his cheek. “It’s almost weird putting up a plan for something other than defeating evilness…”

“Maybe, doesn’t make it any less good.” Cole winked at the two of them, looking inspired. And it was so good to see her brothers so high-spirited, and being happy with them. “… aha, I got one!” The master of earth hurried to the notebook, scrabbling quickly while the green ninja leaned his chin over his shoulder to see better, and the master of water did the same with her elbow on the other side. There was no other noise besides the pencil moving, and the suddenly more vivid voice of the rest of their family not too far away.

Peace was an abstract concept, it was in her life at least. But at least this moment, this situation, this instant, for Nya this was hers. And she wanted to make the most of it.

“… is that Jay getting entangled into the Christmas lights while doing spinjitzu?”

“Yeah? Is that the ‘should I punch you now or later for stupidity’ frown?”

“Nah, it’s the ‘what shade of color better depict bad life decisions’ frown.”

[maraudersandlily20]

Repetition of History

James sat around with his friends, discussing their most recent missions. James and Sirius had been off to locate a Death Eater hideout, while Remus and Peter and Fabian were sent out to do ministry detailing. They were waiting for Frank and Gideon to return to report the settling of different wizarding families that had been affected by the fights. It was busy work, they felt like they hadn’t slept in days. But they were all buzzing, feeling the highs of their different victories. It was their typical lighthearted behavior.

Sirius was retelling a rather dangerous moment that had played out to the boys and they all laughed or cheered for him as he recounted facing the death eater. Lily stood in the doorway, arms folded, quietly watching the boys and their rambunctious natures clearly at play. James looked almost wild with excitement. 

“You know, boys, in a way I’m glad we’re all in this together. Those pricks don’t stand a chance against the likes of us!” he declared, laughing. “There’s nothing they can do to stop us! We’ll get this war out of the way in no time.”

It was words spoken by someone who had yet to really experience the hardships of war, or loss, or pain. They were pompous, arrogant words, laughing in the face of fear. And they were completely idiotic. 

When Gideon and Frank returned and the boys left the flat, James wandered into the kitchen to find Lily, furiously washing dishes. “Love?” He called, watching her stiff movements in curiosity. 

“Yes?”

“Are you alright? You look like you’re about to break that plate in half.”

She suddenly set the dishes back into the sink and braced herself on the counter, taking deep breaths in and out. When she seemed to get her bearings, she turned back to James with fire in her eyes. His look of confusion colored his face. 

“Do you think that this is a joke?” She said, her voice cold.

“What?”

“These battles. These missions. This war. Is it all some kind of big joke to you? A fanciful time to play hero with your mates?”

“What, Lily what are you-”

“Do you have any idea what is actually happening James? Do you understand how… how important what we are doing actually is?”

“Yes, Lils, I do. That’s why I’m going out on missions and risking my life. Because I know how serious this is.”

She growled in anger and fisted her hands. “I don’t think you do!” She yelled, her voice getting higher in pitch. 

“Lily,” James said, trying to soothe his fiance, “what’s going on?”

After a tense moment of silence, she grabbed her jacket from its hook and tossed James his as well. “Put that on. I have something I need to show you.”

He had barely obeyed her order before she grabbed onto his hand, and he felt the sudden gut flinging feeling that only came with apparation. When the moment was over and they had arrived at whatever location Lily wanted to show him, he felt the chill in the air. 

It was late September and the fall was coming in quickly and with a vengeance. You could feel it when you breathed. James took a moment to orient himself as Lily stepped away from him. They were standing between two large buildings, red bricks stacked on top of each other, the top layer looked a tad cleaner than the lower ones. He could see they were standing on a makeshift street, similar buildings lining up side by side. He stared up at them in wonder, confused as to their purpose and their sinister feeling.

He turned and found that Lily had walked away from him and was standing beside a small tower that held a compass arrow on top. It stood, like a bearer of death, in the clearing between buildings. The sun was going down, casting the entire place in a golden light, but it didn’t seem kind or warm. He went to stand beside Lily, hoping she would explain to him what was going on.

“I asked Minerva, once, what wizarding school was like before Hogwarts. Eleven years is a long time to go without a proper education. She said that some families sent their children to muggle primary school. Others, like your family, that had money, were able to send their children to group tutoring, like a pre-Hogwarts.” James nodded, confirming this. He had been sent to tutors before Hogwarts, a perk of his parent’s wealth. Lily pushed on. “I asked what was taught to these students throughout this time. She said it varied from teacher to teacher, but it was heavily focused on controlling young magic, as well as the history of the wizarding world in Britain and greater Europe. And I asked her,” she turned to look at him, “if muggle history was ever taught. She said that no tutor she had ever met taught much muggle history, unless they were passionate about it.” 

She walked toward the tower, her palm resting on the bricks. “My mother would never stand for that. She didn’t much like public school, so she and my dad would read us history books. They wanted us to know what the world was like, what was good and what was bad, and how to tell the difference. They took us here when I was fifteen.” She turned to look at him with a tightlipped smile. “I was heavily immersed in magic and saw no real reason to continue my muggle studies. But my mother said that I would continue to learn about all aspects of the world, wizard or no.” 

Her eyes scanned around the buildings, as if seeing memories in her mind that James could only imagine. Like there was a world right in front of her that he was not able to see. “Standing here, it’s almost like I can hear them.”

“Hear who?”

She looked at him sadly, and simply said, “The dead.” Her voice was unsettling. He shifted at her words, pulling his jacket tighter around himself. “This was what is known as Roll-Call square. The prisoners would be pulled together into this square every morning, having their names called off one at a time, wondering if that day was going to be the day they would die. Their captors would make examples of a few of them, having mass hangings of those suspected of escape attempts. Hundreds of people were killed every day.” She started walking, as if taking James on a tour of this place of death.

They walked past another building on their left, and the building on their right had what looked like large chimneys sticking from the roof. With a sinking feeling, he began to have an inkling as to where they were. Lily turned right past the chimney building and James could see a large imposing fence, made of barbwire. It was something out of a nightmare.

“Is this…” He started, not sure if he wanted to know the answer. 

“It’s called Auschwitz.” She stated calmly, her hands burrowing into her jacket pockets. They headed toward the fence as Lily continued talking. “My parents brought Petunia and I here as teenagers because they wanted us to understand how terrible human beings could be. I think, in their minds, you didn’t understand the world unless you knew about Nazis.”

“We did learn a bit about this,” James murmured, trying to keep his tone low. “I guess I just had never really understood the weight of it all until I was, well, here.”

They walked a bit in silence, taking in the buildings that surrounded them and the fence they approached. There was a huge feeling of history in the air, as if this place had never really moved on from the terrible years it had experienced. It was as if someone had gathered all of the bad memories, the bad feelings, anything associated with death, and wore it like a cloak. It was suffocating. When they reached the long stretch of wire, Lily reached out her hand and enclosed it in her grasp. 

“So many people died here. It’s estimated that over 1 million people were killed within the confines of this fence. Hangings, shootings, gas chambers, starvation, dehydration, illness. Some people were even experimented on. It never ended.” Without looking at his face, she reached down and grabbed James’ hand, pulling him to the fence. He followed her actions and grabbed hold of the wire beside her, as if it were a talisman into another world. 

“When people got off of the train, they had no idea what was waiting for them.” He felt as if he could see the scene she laid out for him. People hurried into the camp, trying to keep hold of each other, and failing. “They had been sent away from their homes and upon arrival were stripped of all of their belongings and clothing. Then, they were shaved and branded, like animals. It was like losing their dignity one moment after the other.” There was an emotion on Lily’s face, like she was seeing the same scene, a movie that neither of them wanted to watch, and it hurt him to see her like that. “Families were separated, many of whom were never able to reunite again.” She looked up into his eyes. “If ever I were allowed to forget about history, erase something completely from the world, it would be this. I can’t imagine being part of a race that undertook the killing of so many people simply because of who they were, what they believed, how they were born. They had no judge, no jury, no verdict. They were sentenced to death the moment they were born.”

James took a moment, listening to his fiance speak, to look at the world around him. He could hear them, then. The voices. The screams, the soft singing, the moaning, swirling around him like the fall leaves. It was haunting. He was beginning to understand and feel the gravity of this world that Lily had brought him to. 

“I never really understood what it meant to kill people needlessly until I came here. So much of muggle history is ignored by the wizarding world because it is seen as lesser or not as important, and it isn’t right. Their history is our history.” Lily said. “Museums and memorials are all fine and dandy, but they only tell stories. This place holds lives. Experiences. Torment. Regret. Hatred. Love. It’s so much more than words on a page. It’s like a piece of the world, stuck in time, replaying the same horrible movie over and over again, until human beings don’t need to see it anymore.” 

And James could feel it. He felt the pain and sorrow that seemed to seep out of the dirt. 

“Why did you bring me here, Lily?”

She turned and grabbed his other hand. “Because I need you to understand, even just for a moment, what this war is going to mean. To all of us. To everyone. It’s not a game, or exciting missions, it’s not something to sit around and joke about. It’s going to be earth shattering. Voldemort is doing to the wizarding world what the Nazis did to the Jewish world, the Polish world, the Austrian world. He is going to take every opportunity he can to steal the chances of millions of innocent people. MY people. Mudbloods.” She had tears in her eyes as she explained her reasoning, her emotions bubbling to the surface. 

“Pureblood families will never understand the chains that come with being muggleborn. We face oppression for something that we have no choice over. People are killing us because of how we come into the world. That is what this war is about. No about being a hero, not about bravery or courage. It’s about people believing that some are better, more elite, more important than others. It’s not a war for the sake of fighting, it’s a war on the existence of people who are different. 

“So if you’re going to fight in this war, you need to understand what you’re fighting for. It’s going to be for muggles, who have no idea what is going on. It’s going to be for mudbloods, who had no choice in their heritage. It’s for people who cannot stand and fight for themselves. That’s why we’re fighting, James.”

She grabbed on to both sides of his face, as if to emphasize her point. “I love you. I love how brave and kind you are, how willing you are to risk your life for people. I’ve always admired that quality in you.” He tried to hold his tears in at her confession, wondering how he could ever convey his sorrow or his fear about what was happening. He was terrified. And Lily knew that. But she didn’t care. She needed him to be brave. “And I am asking you to stay that brave. Because these missions aren’t always going to end in a comfortable circle, full of jokes and laughter. People are going to die. People we know and love are going to die. It’s going to happen.

“I’m fighting in this war because I cannot let what happened here happen to anyone else ever again. I’m fighting because I want our children to grow up in a world where they won’t be judged by the purity of their blood. By ideals that separate good people from each other. I can’t, James. I will bend over backwards if it means giving anyone who has ever felt like me the chance to feel accepted and normal and loved, despite their parentage. If my legacy is dying for people like the ones who lost their lives here, then I will die proudly.”

He gave a sad laugh and pulled her in, wrapping his arms around her. She sighed into his embrace. Her hand rubbed gentle, soothing circles against his back and she tried to compose herself once more. 

“The world doesn’t need anymore of this hate, James. It doesn’t need another Auschwitz. It needs freedom, light, understanding, love. It needs you. Because you are all of those things.” He was crying in earnest and was glad that her head was buried against his chest. “It’s our responsibility to fix the world now, because no one else will. I can’t let this happen to anyone, ever again.”

“It won’t Lils. This will never happen again. I promise.”

And they stood together, arms wrapped around each other, beside the wire fence in Auschwitz, hoping that they would see a better world then the one they had been given. And the fall air, holding the memory of millions of people who had lost their lives, settled around them. The echo of screams on the wind faded slowly into nothing. 

((This felt very fitting, considering the political climate of the world as of now. If you believe in something, you fight for it. We are the ones who have to remember, we’re the ones that are responsible for fighting. I wish it wasn’t that way, but here we are. So stand up, be honest, and make sure the world we are creating for our children won’t ever look like the one our parents have given to us))

[nautilusopus]

Why do you hate the remake? The ending?

AMONG MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY MANY OTHER THINGS

AHEM:

the ending

the way everyone’s character is botched

this goes triple for poor cloud and tifa because they literally aren’t allowed to have either meaningful character interactions or character development because they CAN’T because this is the first five hours of the game stretched into 40 hours so we can’t get into nibelheim yet because we have to “save” it

the fact that this is the first five hours stretched into 40 hours and thus is largely padding

the handling of sector 7, where we go from watching actual people we care about die to seeing literally zero people die at all and also we evacuated the slums so it’s cool

especially egregious considering the game made us do so many stupid sidequests in the (way too clean and sunny) slums to get attached to these npcs only to kill literally zero of them

they still kill barret though so they don’t have to have him fight jenova with everyone else because he’s not a REAL character, let’s get him out of the serious moments. except they can’t kill barret so he’s back immediately due to time bullshit, great

on a related note, the complete and utter lack of any real stakes

the way aeris has fucking future knowledge

the way the vii universe, due to the addition of Fate, now has the judas problem. if the planet can literally fucking control fate why didn’t it just keep jenova from landing? why didn’t it keep shinra from becoming a thing? the only answer is that jenova and shinra are intended to do the things they do and thus are actually under the planet’s control and are not accountable for their actions

the fact that this is sephiroth’s motivation now or something, instead of the actual personality he used to have where he acted as a foil to cloud with his inability to accept unpleasant truths about himself and instead creating a grand narrative for himself where he has not been victimised by unfair and unglamorous circumstances and responded to this by making bad choices

the fact that fate is now a concept in this game at all and how completely and utterly fucking insulting that is and how much of a disservice it is to everything the original stood for on a fundamental level. a game that was literally about how there is no inherent meaning in some grand scheme, and that on a cosmic scale we are insignificant and the planet doesn’t give two shits if we live or die, so therefore we must create our own meaning, small and irrelevant to vast forces like the inevitability of pain and death as they are, and that the meaning we create with other small and insignificant human beings is nonetheless something with value, and that in fact it is harmful to try and pretend there is some vast cosmic significance to your actions and that there doesn’t have to be because your life having value to you is enough, especially in the face of something as absurd as the inevitability of death and pain, now has fucking fate in it. actually, cloud DOES matter on a vast cosmic scale! everyone’s deaths do! and in fact those deaths are unnatural and you’re going to prevent them! hooray!

this is yet another narrative, following in the footsteps of harry potter and the new star wars trilogy, that pretends to be about a nobody going on to defy odds anyway only to turn around and say actually lol no they were special the whole time.

cloud’s handling in general even outside of that. aforementioned lack of development aside, he’s simultaneously way too chilly and way too casual with everyone, with the most meaningful interactions he gets to have being shallow fucking flirting with tifa and him walking around making put upon faces with aeris

the fandom thirst over literal sex traffickers

the fact that this was marketed as a remake when it is AT BEST a series reboot that relies on you having played the og to understand what the fuck is going on half the time

* the utter lack of reading comprehension among the fans that still somehow think they’re going to get other “iconic og moments” remade. did you fuckers miss the ending somehow? about how we’re doing none of that actually? about how they’re going to Defy Fate? you aren’t getting those moments. period. the entire fucking game and ending is literally about that. about how we’re going to Prevent All The Bad Things

the fact that the above was done because they clearly started out trying to actually remake the gam, realised they bit off more than they could chew, and then went LOL NO PROMISES at the last minute with some kingdom hearts bullshit that would let them wiggle out of any long term plot commitments at any time (and also shoehorn zack in because of fucking course he’s here too)

pacing pacing pacing. aside from the atrocious padding problems, you’ve also got sephiroth showing up and mugging the camera every three minutes, because he has to, because this is the first five hours of the game so they need to cram him in there anyway regardless of what it does to the story or no one will buy their stupid game. also they drop the “cloud was never in soldier lol” WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too fucking early, jesus christ. good to know any kind of subtlety is just out the fucking window entirely now

what they did to poor sephiroth, easily the worst handled character in this whole mess. sephiroth sweetie i’m so sorry holy shit

whatever the fuck they were doing with cait sith

taking a big old fucking dump on any themes and meaning the original had in general which i won’t get into too much because it would take forever but you can read more about that here

how they handled shinra and avalanche, or rather how they didn’t handle it and made everything as black and white as possible

jessie’s thirst is extremely annoying and i’m over it

the fact that the fanbase keeps trying to simultaneously go “no it’s only the first chapter of course there’s no explanations” in response to pacing criticisms while also trying to go “no no they had to make it feel like a full game” in response to massive fucking story changes that only served to bloat the pacing

because they can’t bring up nibelheim yet, in this forty hour game (but still have time to go Zack Is Alive Now Also There Is Fate) tifa has no motivation or personality or connection to cloud and barret to speak of. also where the fuck is her anger, holy shit. she regrets joining avalanche? she isn’t

the fact that the fanbase is not only fine with all these changes, changes which again are being made directly in the name of profit to the detriment of good storytelling, but also are even pushing this as the “intended, fleshed out” version of the story they always wanted to tell but couldn’t

bad soundtrack, fight me

midgar and especially the slums look boring

the turks are good now uwu

no Trail of Blood sequence. again, pacing issues. this was meant to be your introduction to sephiroth to set the tone and establish how dangerous he was and how he was the REAL bad guy, but because we’ve seen him every three seconds at this point the whole sequence got cut and it was one of the best sequences there was

the fact that the interviews repeatedly indicate to me that they don’t seem to understand that not every goddamn irrelevant detail needs an explanation (a problem they seem to have carried over from crisis core so that’s great) but that they don’t seem to care about things that DO need explanations and that zero genuine thought was put into the worldbuilding

the way barret’s treated as a joke by the narrative when he’s literally fucking correct

the obsession with Realism (TM) to the point where it creates more tone problems than it solves at times (cloud can fucking fly in cutscenes but can’t hop over a two foot fence)

LET CLOUD BE A DOOFUS YOU COWARDS

about the only character that made it out with their personality intact was aeris and even she’s gone and had her motivations scuttled so it doesn’t matter, yaaaaaaaaay

i can’t fucking believe the remake has made me AVOID fics with jessie biggs and wedge in them. before it was a marker of quality. look what you’ve done.

cloud has an apartment now instead of living with avalanche in the basement. this is also done in the name of Realism but also kind of sucks away the charm imo and makes it that much harder to buy any of these assholes as found family

the timeline of all of this no longer taking place over like three weeks is once again a result of pacing issues. i’m sure this won’t bite us in the ass at all.

god remember when we thought roche was gonna be the worst addition? simpler times

also roche

and yeah the whole ass ending, complete with homage to the ending of ffvii period with the weird doctor who brain tunnel that makes no fucking sense to be here and is only gonna confuse people who don’t know this is supposed to be a callback, and even if it was why is it here, you can’t just fucking copy/paste Famous Moments with none of the emotional beats or writing to back them up or lead into them, context MATTERS did you fuckers learn nothing from the travesty of hollow writing that was ffxv and especially prompto?

the fact that people are looking at this fucking travesty and just assuming the og is like this too and not bothering to play it either because they loved the remake (for some reason???) or because they hated it and now wouldn’t play the og if their life depended on it, which breaks my heart most of all. “the original is still there!!!” is a meaningless overture if people refuse to engage critically with it on any level at all, which as we’ve outlined is absolutely what is happening. this is what people meant when we said the remake would erase the og, and on multiple levels, whether it’s people assuming the og was always meant to be like this, or seeing no reason to play it, or once again failing to recognise what the remake very loudly screams in your face it’s doing and assuming that of course we’re getting a vii remake with all those moments we care about, this is what has been happening.

i can’t even fucking imagine what the northern crater scene is gonna look like now, IF we get one at all. and that’s a big fucking if

i know i’ve missed a lot of them but i hope this helps

[n1ghtcrwler]

This gets long

I found myself thinking about the churches I’ve left behind in my life. What prompted it was a concern that too many of them were over some sort of strife between myself and the pastor, but in retrospect that was a way less common occurrence than I expected it to be (in fact, of churches where I was a member, it only happened twice; there are reasons I expected that number to be higher, but the fact remains that it was not). But in the process I found myself contemplating a lot more about the church I grew up in, and my involvement in the later days of our time there, which I don’t tend to talk about much because it rarely seems worthwhile. I don’t know for certain if I’ve ever told the story here, or to any of you that I’ve talked to outside of tumblr. But I can’t shake the thought of it now, so I thought I’d jot it down.

I grew up in what was officially a nondenominational church, but in practice was decidedly Pentecostal. It was called New Life Covenant Church, which in retrospect is weird because they didn’t hold to covenant theology, but whatever. We were at that church during the Brownsville Revival and the Toronto Blessing, and there was a great deal of interest in us getting in on a piece of that action. We were also there when the “Left Behind” series began coming out, and were absolutely convinced that it was a gospel-truth rendition of what was surely coming any day now. I first started running the sound system there when I was nine, and we had a flag ministry (basically a flagline for worship) that I had joined and, if I may be so bold, kind of excelled at. The church campus had originally been a Christian campground, and our original sanctuary was the mess hall, but by the time I was nearing my teens we had raised funding and built a massive geodesic dome as the new sanctuary and relegated the former mess hall to Children’s Church.

You know. To get a sense of what the place was like.

The church was still being pastored by the planting pastor for a significant amount of my time there, and once he left in disgrace over something that isn’t relevant here, the associate pastor stepped into the lead pastor role. My dad was an elder by then, and sang on the worship team, so he and I would frequently arrive early on Sunday mornings to be present for worship practice, he on the stage and me in the booth. One Sunday morning, shortly after Hugh took over the pastorate, as we were walking into the nearly empty sanctuary, something caught my eye and I stopped to look up.

I saw the dome open up, just completely fold down so I could see the whole sky and many of the trees above and around us. There was fire, raining like water, and slowly filling the room. In the distance, in every direction, I saw a battle raging. Angels were engaged with various forces of darkness, apparently keeping them at bay. I took the whole thing in, and when I understood what it was, it was gone.

So I went to Hugh and told him I’d seen something. When he asked what it was, I told him in as much detail as I could recall at the time about the vision, and then he asked if I knew what it meant. I told him that I did, that a massive blessing was waiting to be poured out on our church, to overflowing, and through us to the community around us. But, I warned, there was great opposition to it, and we had a responsibility to avoid temptation to turn aside from the gospel and needed to stay true in the days of testing that were coming.

Well, of course he loved that, and that morning it was mentioned in the sermon and I soon found myself getting praised for being wise beyond my years and clearly a prophet. This was bolstered by a poem I’d written about missions that the church really seized on and my relative youth in the work I was doing around the church. It was kind of a big deal, or at least I was led to believe everyone thought it was a big deal. I didn’t really know what to do with that, though, so I kept running sound and doing my thing.

But I was already starting to question some of what I was being taught there. As part of the agreement that allowed my cub scout den to use a building owned by a local Presbyterian church, I had attended a handful of services in uniform as an usher, and noticed that their version of Christianity was radically different from the version practiced at New Life. It was so different, in fact, that I had already determined that either one of us was decidedly not Christian, or the list of essentials for what defined Christianity was much shorter than I was being told. I had been baptized probably a half dozen times because I didn’t fully understand that it only needed to be done once, and I was beginning to wonder why they let me keep doing it if I was so clearly unaware of what was going on. And I’d been baptized in the Spirit, which basically meant I stood in the church library with elders praying over me until I started speaking in tongues, but I knew full well I’d just started making random noises to appease them because I was getting hungry. And then there was the time I fell asleep on the floor in the back of the church during a revival night that was running a bit long for me, and when I woke and found people celebrating my being ‘slain in the Spirit’ I realized they couldn’t tell the difference between what was supposed to be a powerfully holy moment and a snoozing child.

I must not have snored back then, I guess.

But over the course of the next couple years things got weird. Chasing the dream of a revival like the ones north and south of us, the services were beginning to focus more and more on music and spontaneous messages and less on the Bible. It reached a point where we didn’t have a single sermon for months at a time, and when we did there was a solid chance it wouldn’t even reference scripture. One famously odd sermon had Hugh preaching from an anonymous blog post he’d found online that seemed prophetically relevant to our body, only to later learn his own wife had written it and she wasn’t sure how she felt about it being read in front of the whole church since it was, in fact, something of a vent post about some people in our church.

People who were very concerned about the declining role of scripture at the church started to quietly leave. We stuck around far longer than we should have, specifically because my dad was an elder and, as such, he felt it was his responsibility to stay on and fight to bring the church back on course. There was a short-lived stint where he had convinced Hugh to let him preach a sermon every Sunday just to make sure there would be one, but it was scheduled for the hour before church officially started for the day.

I knew friends were leaving, and I knew things were getting strange, but Dad wasn’t really explaining the problems he knew about to us. I knew Hugh had challenged the church that anyone who was leaving should come to the mic and tell the church why, and I knew no one had done so. But most of it was something I would learn later, after we left. But before that happened, I had another vision.

One morning, while Dad and I were arriving early again, something caught my eye and I stopped and looked up and saw the dome open as before. But this time there was no fire raining down, and the room was bone dry. Outside, the sky was just dark, with no traces of the angels or the battle that had been raging before. And when I knew what it meant, it was gone, and I went and found Hugh. I told him I’d seen something, and he was positively giddy. “Yes!” I could clearly tell he was thinking, “here it is!” So I told him what I saw. He looked at me confused for a moment, then asked what it meant.

“We did it wrong,” I said, “we squandered our chance and the blessing isn’t coming. This place is and will be spiritually dead.” I was no more than 14 at this point, and as his countenance changed he reminded me of that. He demanded to know what made me think I knew anything about it, anyway, when I was just some arrogant little kid. He stormed off and I stood there a moment, considering what he’d said. Then I went to someone else on the tech crew and told them I was no longer going to be mixing sound and they needed to find someone else. I walked out of the sanctuary, wiped my shoes clean on the carpet, and walked off into a stairway above the mess hall where I sat the rest of that morning reading Isaiah and praying and singing a couple songs by myself.

I didn’t go back. I had to go to the physical church every week with my family, but I would turn aside while they entered the sanctuary and I would go sit in the stairway, or wander the grounds, or sometimes sit in the car. I never saw another service there, until the day my dad told me we were going for our last Sunday and he really, really wanted all of us together when he took Hugh up on the offer to explain our decision. So I went in that day, and as soon as we entered Dad went to the mic and delivered a 40-minute sermon on where the church had gone awry and why we were leaving, and then we all left and never returned.

I’m told the church got down to about six people in the end. As I heard it, Hugh stepped down after admitting to an affair with a younger man, and when his associate pastor took over he either couldn’t or wouldn’t change course, and eventually the church was completely dead and disincorporated. The grounds and everything in the buildings was donated to a local church planting team, and every semblance of New Life Covenant Church was erased.

But what happened the other night, when I first started thinking about these events again, is that I was drawn to a certain detail in the story. See, I hadn’t ever thought back to what the content of those encounters actually was. I hadn’t though about them at all, really, let alone enough to analyze them, but suddenly I really wanted to do that. And I noticed for the first time that the point of that whole thing had been about the way the church was handling the gospel and relating it to mission, and how they were so focused on some other objective that they were sacrificing scripture to get some other thing they really wanted.

And then an assortment of times where I have confronted people, individually or in groups, about the way they handled the gospel and were trying to use it for some alternate purpose, culminating in the fights I’ve been having with people for the last five years about unquestioned and cultic Evangelical support of Trump. And I realized, for the first time, that I got this message once when I was a kid, and have never stopped saying that same thing ever since, often to the exact same people who are still in my life that I first met at New Life Covenant. And I thought, “man, no wonder they’re sick of me.”

But yeah. So now that’s just kinda stuck on my mind, and it keeps just sitting there like I should know or think something specific about it, but I don’t know what. And I don’t know why I felt the need to write about it, but I did, and now you’ve read the whole thing, so thanks for your patience, I guess.