#I love forever as much as the next guy but he will not be happy to learn that he held kids hostage and all the other parents did was
๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ โ> ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐
๐๐๐๐๐ 6๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ โ> ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐!
๐๐๐ง๐ซ๐ โ> ๐
๐ฅ๐ฎ๐๐, ๐๐ซ๐๐๐ค, ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐๐จ๐ซ๐ญ
๐๐๐ข๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐ โ> ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐๐ญ๐จ๐ง๐ข๐!๐ญ๐ฑ๐ญ (๐จ๐ญ5) ๐ฑ ๐!๐ซ๐๐๐๐๐ซ
โ> ๐๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ข๐ญ'๐ฌ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ค๐ ๐๐๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐จ๐ง๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ ๐ข๐ซ๐ฅ ๐ข๐ง ๐ ๐๐จ๐ฒ ๐ ๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฉ.
โ๊ทโ อ อ โเพเฝฒโเญจเญงโเพเฝฒโ อ อ โ๊ทโ
I'm running off of hopes and dreams dudes
๐๐๐จ๐ง๐ฃ๐ฎ๐ง
Older brother vibes
Definitely takes care of everyone but especially you
Yeonjun makes sure you're eating at least 2 meals a day even with a busy schedule
Very protective over you because you're the only girl and he knows you get awfully a lot of hate because of it
But he tries his best to make sure you know that you deserve to be apart of the team as much as the rest of them do
He pushes you to work harder, but because he wants you to be the best version of yourself
He's def clingy to you, but in an annoying way almost
Loves ruffling n messing your hair up, pinching your cheekies, sends you flying kisses across the room bc he thinks your reaction is funny n cute
He teased you a lot too but knows how to not cross the line
And if he does he'll be so regretful and apologetic like he'll do anything until you forgive him he feels SO bad ๐ญ๐๐ป
Likes it when you cling to his arm, hug him or depend on him in general; especially if you prefer or like to be more independent
(or too stubborn to ask for help lolol)
Bro is all smiles n gladly helps you or takes care of you
Forehead kisses
Complains n whines when you try n kiss his forehead or cheek back in return or as a thank you but he doesn't mind it, finds it endearing, actually
Let's you rest ur head on his shoulder while sitting next to each other if he notices you're really tired or so ur neck won't get stiff
You guys are close and have a special bond
Definitely knows when to comfort you and when you're starting to have a hard time, and vise versa
Loves messing with you though like, pushing your buttons a little bit cause he thinks ur reactions are cute
๐๐จ๐จ๐๐ข๐ง
I think he's also hard on you but only because he wants to prove that you can do just as much as the boys can do
Tries and make sure you don't feel like out
Because he knows that it might be difficult for you being in an all boys group and feeling left out since you're the only girl
But none the less he wouldn't want it any other way
He's fought hard to get you with them and so did you having to constantly prove yourself; youll always have too
He js couldn't be prouder of you tbh
Always comes to defend you
soobin feels safe with you and he knows he can tell you if he's struggling or if something is bothering him
youre the main reason he stopped doubting himself when he was new to being a leader
and he's forever grateful for you
When walking up stairs he takes his coat or blaze off and holds it up from being you to cover you up and protect you
Hates seeing you sad or upset so definitely tries to do anything to cheer you up or keep you happy !!
You prob bake sum with him sometimes in your guy's free time just for fun and bonding
๐๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ ๐ฒ๐ฎ
Your BSF cuh
Like y'all are always together almost
Most of the time if you wanna find one or the other yall are found together doin sum
The schedules together are much more fun with beomgyu although I have a feeling the staff aren't the most thrilled ๐๐๐ป
He's so annoying
But it's also kind of endearing you can't help but not be TOO mad at him ๐
Y'all are prob the most comfortable with each other and you've seen him cry the most and vise versa
Idk y'all just feel the safest w e/o and understand one another really well
You guys truly have a special bond / friendship
The most chaotic and funniest duo amongst all the members
Like, being paired up for challenges is hell for everyone else bc of how chaotic you two bitches are LMAO
They sometimes will BEG to switch but just for shits and giggles the staff refuse to change the pairing bc it's funny n entertaining
He's def the one to act so brother like towards you
Like, he'll always come up to you and start punching you or sum but not enough to touch you just really close, but he's never actually touched you or hurt you
Idk dude it's js a brother thing apparently
Y'all are so sibling coded lol
Rather you're older or younger, I think he'll still act like either an annoying little brother who admires his older sister or the annoying yet very caring (a little protective?) older brother with his little sister
Eats food with you all the time
There's been far too many times where he's made you starve and wait while he got his food js so y'all could eat together
Sorry pooks you gotta wait to eat, get used to it
It's also js y'all's love language, especially bg's
Def partners n crime, y'all need each other to fight crime !! ( Y'all share one brain cell while together trust you need to be together to function and be smarter, kinda)
For sure tag team yeonjun just to annoy him and get a good laugh at it lol y'all are unstoppable!!
๐๐๐๐ก๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ง
You're prob a little older then him
He admires you, a lot
He thinks the things you do are cute and he js adores you
He's such a Sweetheart to you๐ญ
He's very understanding and relies on you a little more then it might seem
Likes it when you give him affection the most out of all the boys
He has a little soft spot for you
Gives you cute little pecks and kisses on your cheek sometimes because he just adores you๐ฅบ๐ญ
Will defend your name in public and correct you in private
๐๐ฎ๐๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ค๐๐ข
Also admires you a lot
Like he really looks up to you even if you're younger or older
If he sees you face a fear of yours he'll be so proud of you but also it'll help him have strength as well
Y'all are always doing pranks or up to some kind of mischief together
Y'all spoil each other
Although you probably buy food for him most of the time while he'll buy you food on special occasions
Y'all are gumz
Always touchy and clinging
Seen back hugging each other a lottttt
Very playful with each other too, just cute banter
You guys are also seen giving each other belly rubs a lot especially after a meal like maybe bts to do episode you'll just see Kai n you rubbing each other's bellys in the background hiding in a corner
Moas think it's the cutest but so do the members, they love teasing sometimes, "aigoo, what will we do with these two cute gumz?" Yeonjun says fondly lol
You n him learn kep1er dances together and other gg it's so fun w him
Soobin joins you guys sometimes as well
Y'all support and comfort each other when needed though
Always have an eye out for you and always tries to cheer you up when you need it most, even if it's acting a fool or embarrassing himself lol.
Bonus
They were all definitely forced into learning the whole choreography of magnetic by illit because you begged them, they couldn't say no to you LMAO๐ญ
A/N I've had this is my drafts for far tooooo long and I figured to js post this to get sum out cause I have zero motivation.
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I'm forever black-eyed, a product of a broken home
summary: boxer!lip gallagher headcanons and foundation building <3
title from: "Black-Eyed" by Placebo
word count: 1.4k
content warnings: I mean, like boxing is an aggressive sport so, she gets dirty at the end so MDNI!!!, choking kink mention, cumplay mentioned
side note: was originally soft and world building and doing research for boxing but,,,,, olive politely ruined all those thoughts
just some simple thoughts to begin! to test the waters!
-a middleweight boxer, just to begin. on a good week he could qualify for light heavyweight but he's properly enrolled in the middeweight division
-which just, is no commentary on JAW, however doing some looking into and looking for the general weight of a healthy 5'7" man puts him somewhere in the middleweight/barely light heavyweight division. but if we consider the Gallagher household income and diet they probably have, Lip is 100% in the middleweight division
-Lip is most well known for his jabs and uppercuts, his style is very agressive
-he's also known for taking a heavy beating in just about every fight he has.
-carl was big into Rambo, constantly playing First Blood when he could. so he naturally tried to see if any of Stallone's movies where similar. Lip was somehow enamored with Rocky when they borrowed it from the library.
-Carl didn't love Rocky like at all lmao, he wanted more fighting in there. Debbie loved Rocky and Adrian's relationship, she thinks they're adorable and romantic.
-This idea hinges on Lip being more aggressive in high school, getting into a lot more fights. This might be due to bullying or just being an overall aggressive kid with little dog syndrome
-At a certain point he's threatened with juvie and or foster care or he can put his anger into something more productive. Lip chose the latter.
-Kevin suggests boxing and even offers to help teach him if he wanted
-he does that thing that boys do where he thinks he can do it all by himself because he watched a movie about it a few times (he's seen every Rocky movie he can get his hands on)
-however jumping right into boxing is much harder than he thought it would be (surprise!) (dummy /affectionate)
-Lip is out of shape, has smokers lungs, and just,,,,, does not know how to throw a proper punch lmao
-so the first day at the gym he's dying
-soooo he goes to Kevin with his tail between his legs and begs him to teach him how to box
-now Kevin is FIT like
-like FIT.
-and Kevin is more than happy to help train Lip
-so through out high-school he spends his free time at the gym after he's done his homework and the work of kids who have paid him
-he gets fit, builds some muscle, adopts a slightly healthier diet
-once he's in college he gets a slightly less regimented schedule due to being out of the house
-he gets a little out of shape, doesn't do as many workouts and sparing matches as he should
-so when he drops out of college he goes back starts getting back into shape to actually start fighting!!
-sigh not to bring back Patsy's reader but like you probably work at Patsy's or maybe the Alibi Room??? some where he and his family frequent a lot!
-and he's just kind of like,,,, a little punk who wants your attention so bad lowkey cause like
-you mind your business! nice, respectful, keeps to themselves
-what he doesn't know is you're so drawn to him cause you've been watching the muscled guy dote on his baby brother and his sister and his other brother
-but also he's a punkass!!
-so you eventually entertain him and go on dates with him and he's
-yeah he's cocky about his stats but he's also just so sweet
-he starts doing fights for money a little before you guys start dating
-uses half his fighting earnings for his family, the other half he's got his own squirrel fund going
-when you guys are dating, he uses that other half to spoil you <3
-this next one is from Maggie's brain but I love it
-watching him during training, when he doesn't really need to wear his gloves, and seeing him send people flat to the ground is,,,,
-mind boggling, as his partner
-because you know that those hands are soft and loving
-just that morning, he was holding your face softly and memorizing each detail he could get his fingers on
-the night before, his hands were firm but soft on your thighs
-so seeing him knock grown men flat is mind boggling anddddd I mean you can guess right?
-turns you on a little bit that's what I'm getting at
-whenever olive comes in it becomes a whore house ๐ (SO AFFECTIONATE I LOVE YOU OLIVE AND YOUR DIRTY MIND THANK YOU THANK YOU)
-olive thinks boxer lip has a choking kink and she would be correct
-which feeds into her bicep kink whatever whatever we love her
-fucking him in the locker room after good fight and he's not super busted up (you guys seen what Rocky looks like? busted eyelids and shit) (not lip, he's gonna have a bruise and a little cut be he's okay <3)
-he's very sweaty and very pent up and running off the adrenaline of the fight and winning
-also wearing his boxing shorts around!! just comfy clothes
-but we was talking about him fucking you in his robe which is very KVE of him *I've not seen Iron Claw I'm just saying what I've seen from the girlies
-I just think he kind of loves seeing Gallagher painted across your shoulders (or even your ass if he's got it on his shorts)
-but also he would have like a fun stage name guys what do we think his stage name would be
-like The Italian Stallion fucks like Rocky Balboa ate with that
-but he could also just be Lip
-Lip ๐ฅฐ in the blue corner <3
-whereas ๐ฅตThe Italian Stallion๐ฅต in the red corner?
-idk help guys
-anyways boxer lip has some CRAZY stamina
-like
-like CRAZY stamina
-you think you're ready to conk out after two rounds? yeah well Lips not so
-but he's soso sweet about it
-I'm back I've done some research and my idea works, walk with me
-this man is horny, we all know that like
-like he's HORNY
-anyways he goes like
-like crazy
-he's got one of your legs up over his shoulder, the other pressed up against his side where it's wrapped around his middle
-he has already made you come twice and your thirds on the way
-the squelching as he fucks you is pornographic, and he fucking loves it
-you simply cannot think, he's kept you teetering on the edge of overstimulation but all you can focus on is the feeling of him fucking into you, his shoulder flexing under your leg
-and he's being soso sweet cooing in your ear, telling you how good you feel, how he's going to fill you up so nice and you just need to go one more round with him after cause he wants to make sure you remember him before he fights later
-your third orgasm is what draws out Lip's first orgasm
-he's really gentle about how he rolls his hips into you, you can feel the mixture of both your release slipping out of you
-he's pressing soft, soft kisses to your face, telling you how good you are and how you feel just sooo good
-you can feel his cock twitch inside of you and the slow beginnings of him getting hard again
-and he's just being so
-"Come on baby, just need one more from ya" "Gonna let me fill you one more time?" "gotta make sure it sticks baby" "Wanna make sure you remember me when I'm up in the ring"
-and who are you to deny his soft pleas
-HELP WAIT GUYS GUYS
-so like after he reaches his second orgasm inside of you and he pulls out, he cannot stop looking at where the mix of you release slips out of you
-and he's hard again this punk
-but, you're just so sleepy and so floaty
-so Lip gets himself off above you, fucking himself into his hand using both of your guys cum as a lubricant
-anyways blah blah, he paints your tummy in his cum, it reaches just under your chest and this feeds into the marking thing he's got
-someone stop this man he's tooooo horny
-anyways he cleans you up (collects the cum he can and slips it into you, pushing it softly into you with his fingers, trying to keep the rest of your release from slipping out even more)
-but as you're drifting off, he makes sure to clean you up, dress you back in some cozy sleep clothes
-boxer lip the beloved
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OOH YEAH BABY ITS THE SURGERY EPISODE BABY!!! ME AND THE HOMIES NEED SOME NEW FACES FOR OUR NEW PLAN, AND WHO BETTER TO GET THE JOB DONE THAN THE TWO MOST EVIL PEOPLE WE'VE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF HAVING OUR LIVES VIOLATED BY? I MEAN IT WOULD BE FUNNY. IT WOULD BE FUNNY.
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Listen, all Iโm going to say is that if my best friend of 17+ years held a gun to any child, much less my own, I would be in jail for first degree
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happy life, happy wife | hugh jackman
an: โyou attract what you fearโ GUYS IM SO SCARED OF A 55 YEAR OLD AUSTRALIAN ๐ญ definitely thinking about making marvel actress!reader x hugh an actual seriesโฆ i have ideas
marvel actress!reader
Deadpool & Wolverine Press tour - Hot Ones
Hugh felt like he was going to die. Each wing was getting hotter and hotter, but immediately when he heard his wifeโs name he forgot all about the spice.
โHugh, your wife is part of the Avengers, how does it feel having your wife be part of such a huge franchise? Have you two talked about a potential team up with the X-men and the Avengers?โ Sean asked.
โMy wife . . . Oh god, I think Iโm crying-โ
โI canโt tell if youโre legitimately dying or completely in love with your wife.โ Ryan told Hugh.
โWait . . I am completely in love with my wife and I would legitimately die for her.โ Hugh gasped as he rearranged Ryanโs words.
โIs that in the contract she made you sign when you married her? โI vow to die for youโ. My contract said I had to give all my money to my kids and wife.โ Ryan said.
โNo, sheโs amazing, um, if I start talking about her I think I might go on for hours,โ he laughed. โOur kids do want to see their parents fighting the bad guys together. We would love to team up, maybe it could happen.โ Hugh smiled.
โThe entire movie would be them making out and her beating the shit out of you. Iโd pay to see that.โ Ryan added.
โขโขโข
Comic Con 2024
Like RDJ, your last Marvel movie had been Avengers: Endgame. After being in ten mcu films, it was time to say goodbye to your character.
But that was in 2019.
At this years comic con, you were back. The cast of Deadpool & Wolverine had taken the stage and showed their appreciation for the fans. After their panel, it was time to announce Marvelโs upcoming projects. Kevin Feige announced the Fantastic Four, Thunderbolts, Captain America 4, and finally the new Avengers movies, which everyone was extremely excited about.
After showing the title card for the upcoming Avengers film, Kevin turned to the audience.
โSomething people have been asking, as of late, is who the heck is going to direct these two movies?โ The audience clapped.
From the side of the stage, you were nervous. What if the fans didnโt like the idea of you directing the next two Avengers films? Your worrying caused Hugh to come to your rescue.
โHey, they loved you as an Avenger, they will love you even more.โ Hugh kissed your forehead. โIf anyone says anything about this decision, they have me to deal with.โ
You laughed at his words. โI really love you so much.โ
โLove you too, bub.โ Hugh was about to kiss you when Ryan cut in.
โI really love us too. I convinced half of the people here that weโre a throuple.โ He said in the most serious tone ever.
Kevin announced you as the director. Your doubt of the fans not liking the announcement was proven wrong when you walked the stairs to the stage and stood next to Kevin. They cheered when they saw you were back.
As you said a few words, thanking Marvel, Kevin and the fans, you were being recorded by Hugh, who was being recorded by Ryan.
โThatโs my wife!โ Hugh cheered from backstage, holding his phone in his hand.
โSheโs Marvel Jesus now, holy shit!โ
โขโขโข
WIRED autocomplete interview
โIs Hugh Jackman married?โ
โYes, to me, Y/n, probably to half the population,โ Ryan answered. โHeโs Australiaโs biggest slut.โ
โAll the times, I proposed.โ Hugh laughed. โBut yes, I am married and I love my wife very much. Sheโs stuck with me forever.โ He lifted his hand to show off the wedding band.
โFunny, because she texted me right now. Her and Blake are in the courthouse getting married. So Deadpool three was actually made so our wives could divorce us and marry each other.โ
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You knooooowwww... >.>
The only difference, technically, between a school in the Zone? And on Earth? Is the American government won't recognize your Zone diploma...
Not accredited. But like..... I'm JUST SAYING? If you didn't try to pass your school off as some Big Ivy League type? Pulled the "oh yeah, you'd never have heard of it, it's local." And the COMPUTERS say it's legit?
How many people will dig deeper?
If you legitimately have the knowledge, you legitimately have the knowledge. Not YOUR fault you left out the whole "extra-dimensional" part. It makes folk nervous! And nervous folks get stabby.
So like? If you were ALREADY planning to "Move" as you euphemistically put it? Talked it over with your VERY concerned folks and friends? Who do NOT like the look of the steady but concerning rise of Anti-Ghost Powers That Be? Who finally put their foot down and reminded you that you are a TEENAGER and it's NOT your responsibility to fix the world?
Well...
Fuck those guys, I guess. You'll miss the old house, but Team "Taking our ball and going literally anywhere else" makes some good points. Why ARE you putting up with this?
And honestly, you've never SEEN your dad have so much fun. Him and the Reality Realtor just sorta... Vibe. Himbo to Himbo communications. Smatters of advanced physics. Fudge. It's great.
They move the portal. Collapse the old one in a way that makes it impossible to recover or recreate. You... kinda don't want to ask. They had that "mad scientist glint" in their eyes.
And while everyone's checking out brochures to different realities? You? Head off to the nearest College. It's the Zone, so technically you could go to any of endless billions. But you'd like your education some time this century.
Cue! Danny Fenton! Entering?
Academia's wet dream. A sprawling CITY of a college. Where the classes are on EVERYTHING and the price is FREE. People have Obsessions okay?? They NEED to teach. Debate and discuss! Study! Right papers and read them! It's been going on a while! And what happens when you find a subject that's NOT covered?
YOU COVER IT!
It's like if New York was a College. Good fucking luck find the dorms. Sleep on the floor like the rest of us, you casual.
Danny was Not Prepared โข.
He loves it though.
Classes on aeronautics next making the perfect sandwich, shoved next to historical basketry, stacked above alien slam poetry. But only on Tuesdays! Ever shifting. Breaking his Fenton Born Adhd in to a fine PASTE to be smeared upon bread. Happy mental stimulation chemicals go Brrrrrrrr
If it wasn't wildly inappropriate, he would LICK IT to claim it as his then wrap around it and gaurd like a territorial cat. He thought he HATED school! Turns out he just hated high-school. College though? College, or at least ZONE College, is fuckin AWESOME.
He's sit in SO MANY random classes just cause.
Picked up and dropped them at a whim. When they no longer sparked joy. He's been a flighty bitch and for once? No one CARES. No one says "you HAVE to commit and stick with this FOREVER once you choose this" and? It just? It's so FREEING! He's learned so MUCH!
He's probably gonna come back!
Which? Is how a deeply, DEEPLY weird aerospace engineer from supposedly bumfuck NOWHERE, end up working at Wayne Industries. He's.... a lil crazy behind the eyes. Ha ha... CONCERNING โข!
Dude sleeps on the lab floor. Has weirdly spotty knowledge. Can be an unprecedented genius one second and not know who the current president is the next. Doesn't know what DAY it is. Forgets to eat. Tried to make a fusion reactor out of the break room toaster before Sandra from accounting distracted him with pictures of her cat.
It's like he wanders through life blissfully unaware that he is both terrifying and about three seconds from killing them all. Then FUCKING TRIPS because he forgot to tie his shoelaces again.
Who hired this man?
WHY!?
I mean, we KNOW why. Probably to put him on a watch list. But? He's like a terrifying murder puppy! Built like a tank! That's stoned out of its mind half the time. And have you HEARD his college stories? That CAN'T be legal. Was this guy raised in a cult!? Aaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!????
@hdgnj @legitimatesatanspawn @babbling-babull @dcxdpdabbles @hypewinter
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could you please do lando and a stem girl who goes to uni but has a private life please
they don't know about us | ln4 smau
pairing: lando norris x private fem computer science major!reader
a/n: this took me forever but hope u still like :) also, if you've got requests could u add if you want it to be smau or fic pls <3
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[ caption 1: ๐โ๏ธ ] [ caption 2: miami ๐ ]
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[ caption 1: shoutout to the inventor of coffee i owe u big time๐ ] [ caption 2: uhm i was just going to rest my eyes for 2 minutes?? good morning i guess๐ ]
f1gossip
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f1gossip Y/N L/N, current girlfriend of Lando Norris, has been photographed arriving at the paddock for today's Miami GP.
Y/N's presence comes as a bit of a surprise, considering she was absent during practice and qualifying sessions, and rarely attends races. Speculation about a potential breakup has been rampant, but her appearance suggests that there might not be trouble in paradise after all... ๐
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username she always looks so classy and put-together, i'm obsessed <33
username no bc am i the only who has no problem with her only attending a few races a year? some ppl don't have time to jet off across the globe 24/7 like
username it's the fact that they literally travelled to miami together and she still didn't go to quali or practice๐ the other wags do it, why can't she?
username i just know lando had to beg her to come smh
username why are y'all so rude omg?? some ppl are introverts...
username when you're in the public eye, you don't get to be "introverted"๐
username that's an insane take wtf?
username GUYS i think she's a uni student cause peep lando's story a few days ago๐ง that explains why she's never at gps
username so? i'm a senior and i went to the aus gp this year
username okay... do you want a cookie ?
username if a wag is at all races she's fame-hungry, and if she doesn't she's unsupportive like make up y'all's minds pls ๐
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[ caption: YOU DID IT!!! HE DID IT!!! MY BABY IS AN F1 WINNER OMFGGG๐ฅน๐ฅณ๐ you deserved this so so much, i'm sooo proud of you โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ ]
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landonorris Memories for life โค๏ธ
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username aw the 5th pic๐ฅน
username do you think number six is y/n??๐
username 100%
username ๐งก๐งก๐งก๐งก๐งก
username LANDO NOW WINS IKTRRRRRโผ๏ธ๐คฉ
username ofc y/n couldn't even be bothered to comment... and the most unsupportive wag award goes to y/n l/n!! congrats hun x
username y'all are weird YOU DON'T KNOW THESE PPL!! username it's the 'be kind' in ur bio for me miss gurl ๐คก
username best day ever ๐คง
lewishamilton ๐๐๐
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riabish sooo happy!!!
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username not ria being more of a gf then y/n oop
username thanks for being such a good friend to lando, we love you๐
username next goal: beome world champion ๐๐
username yessirrrr
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[ caption 1: back to reality ๐ ] [ caption 2: jkjk it's not that bad, i don't cry nearly as much as i did in first year ๐โโ๏ธโ๏ธ ]
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harvard
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harvard Final projects, theses, dissertations, and more! Check out what these soon-to-be graduates explored in some of their last assignements on campus.
Y/N's thesis navigated the intricate relationship between privacy and secure multi-party computation, enhancing data analysis while safeguarding sensitive information.
2. Steve's environmental science project examined urban development's impact on local biodiversity, providing insights for sustainable urban planning.
3. Nya's dentistry research poster explored new methods to improve dental implant success, promising better patient outcomes and oral healthcare.
โ
We are celebrating the extraordinary members of the Class of #Harvard24 ๐
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username Awesome!
username Very good! Congrats to all these students!!๐ช
username wait am i tripping or is this y/n as in lando's gf y/n???๐ณ btw my biggest dream is to go to harvard in '26 !!!! ๐
username ๐๐
username streets are saying y/n goes to harvard so i had to come check and omg??๐ฉ
username no bc wag AND harvard girly?? just looked at myself and sighed fr...
username now i feel bad for talking shit๐ซค
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[ caption 1: pulling an all-nighterrrr ๐ ] [ caption 2: nevermind, lando just made me promise to get some sleep :( ]
A few months later...
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[ caption 1: couldn't ask for better shoulders to cry on srsly ๐โโ๏ธ WE DID IT MY LOVESSS ๐โค๏ธโค๏ธ ] [ caption 2: this us? ๐ (corny, i know...) ]
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username a win for women iktr ๐
username wow i'm so happy for her omg ๐ซถ๐ซถ (jealous too but mostly happy loolol)
username LMAO are we the same person?
carlossainz55 ๐๐๐
username now she has no excuse anymore
username if lando's completely happy with it all, why the hell are u upset? ๐คก
username 2024 really gave us lando's first ever win and now this?? we love to see it ๐
yourusername โค๏ธโค๏ธ
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username we love you y/n <333
username i hope you'll be able to attend more races from now on!! i love seeing you in the paddock ๐
username the way i still haven't fully processed the fact that harvard gave her a shoutout goddamn๐คฏ
usernmae not you calling that a shoutout bye๐๐
username AAHHHH YAYY CONGRATS Y/N YOU'RE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE ๐ค๐ค๐ค๐ค
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please please please i need you to write something for my man Aegon I love how you write for him๐ญ
โณโกbefore fire takes it all
Aegon II Targaryen x fem!reader
-summary:normally Aegon would ignore Helaena and her strange behavior but,since his wife Y/n got pregnant,he canโt help but think about the words his sister said the moment he announced the news.
-warnings:set in season 1,pre blood and cheese and luke death,teen pregnancy(both Aegon and reader are sixteen),talk about child death,Aegon being paranoid and keeping secrets,Helaena predictions,classic asoiaf warnings,reader can be of whatever house you want.
-thank you so much for the request and let me know what you guys think,send you all my love๐ฉท
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It hurts.
Love,Aegon thinks.
Love hurts.
His heart bursts,his heart explodes,his heart climbs down his throat and assaults his temples, squeezing and compressing them until his eyes darken,until it scars the tormented irises and pupils.
Loving too much is fatal.Or not?
Isn't that so?
Live well,live badly.Does he lives at all?
โI don't knowโ,his conscience responds.
Aegon would like to know,but he doesnโt know.He doesnโt even think he knows what the right way to live is anymore,heโs terrified that he doesnโt know what it means to live anymore.
How can he live?How?
How can he pretend that everything is alright?That everything,in the future,is going to be alright?
Normally Aegon wouldnโt think about these sort of things,he used to live day by day dictated by his own selfish desires.But since he had got married two years ago,something in him changed completely.He started to understand what it meant to love and live for someone else,to wake up every morning early to just watch her sleep so soundly next to him,to stay sober at every hour so that he could remember her kind words,her sweet face and calm voice.Wanting to be a different version,a better one,of himself only because she showed him that he deserved happiness and love like everyone else and in return he only wanted to give her the best he could.
But golden necklaces,earrings,beautiful flowers and the most expensive dresses could not fill the hole that was slowly opening under their feet,a hidden tragedy ready to swallow them whole and to break their hearts and souls forever.
Aegon wasnโt one to listen to his family,he longed for his mother love and his father attention,he despised his older half sister,made fun of his younger brothers and mostly ignored his other sister.Only this time,something happened,something made him look in Helaena direction for the first time and his ears had caught every single word that she had whispered to herself.
His wife,Lady Y/n,the most beautiful and kind woman,a innocent young girl with a heart too big for her body,was pregnant.It was true,what they said about expecting women,she was glowing like the most precious diamond and her happiness about becoming a mother,the mother of the lover of her life child,couldnโt be contained by her shiny eyes and big smile.
ยซThe Maester said that signs suggest is going to be a boy.ยปAegon had announced one day at the breakfast table.
His mother had smiled kindly and Aemond had nodded giving his shoulder a warm squeeze.It was still too early in the pregnancy to understand whether is was going to be boy or a girl,but still Aegon had hoped that the Maester was right.Having a son was a dream that he never dared to imagine or to say out loud until then,the living proof that he was going to be better than his father ever was for him.
Helaena was sitting next to him,quietly playing with a wooden butterfly,all lost in the secret gardens of her mind when she muttered something: ยซA son for a son.ยปwithout even understanding her own words.
As their mother and brother were talking,Aegon turned slightly toward her.Usually he wouldnโt pay attention to his sister and her strange behavior,he was disgusted by all of those insects that she so lovingly brought everywhere like some pet on a leash and he was so relieved when his father had betrothed him to Y/n instead that her.He wouldnโt even lister or look over her if in the past,her silent words of warning werenโt revealed to be the sour truth.Aemond had lost an eye just like she had said.Maybe if back then he had listened to her,he would have helped his brother and nothing would have happened.
ยซWhat does it mean?ยปAegon had whispered to her confused.
Helaena wasnโt looking at him,her fingers gracefully tracing the toyยซThey only want the boy,not the girl.ยปshe said as if she didnโt heard him,nodding to herself.
Aegon left the spoon that he was holding,a sensation of nausea was crawling up his stomach,his heart beating fasterยซThe boy?My boy?Who wants him?ยปhe asked.
His sister stayed quiet,every second felt like an agony for him.His mind became of stone and a part of his was laughing for the fact that he was actually really listening to her,to her crazy words and empty head.But still,something,maybe his father instinct that was already part of him,told him that what she was saying was another dark truth.
A boy and a girl,she had said.He was going to have both,twins.He couldnโt even imagine it,praying that they would take after their mother soft and gentle spirit but also his fierce nature.Y/n would have been delighted to know that they were about to have twice of the love,but what would she said if she knew that someone wanted their son?
ยซThe rats.ยปHelaena answered then,her eyes bore holes in his as she turned to look at her older brother,shiny lilac flowers watered in fear and condolences.
It had been months since that conversation and Aegon couldnโt stop to think about it.Every night,as he watched Y/n sleep next to him while he so gently caressed her belly where two new lives were growing,he could still feel his sister horrified stare on him and her heavy words in his ears.
Y/n is talking to Aegon,while they were lying under the covers of their bed.Her head is on his chest,her hair smelled of flowers and peaches,her voice sleepy and always so tender as his hand was staying on her swollen stomach.She's talking to him about her day and he can't listen to her,he can't even see her behind his pale eyelashes that lower,behind his tired eyelids that are threatening to close tightly.
With the fingers of his free hand he massage them,the nail of his index finger finds a tear that was hidden there,at the corner of the right eye,and uprooting it,let it be dried out by air.
Aegon was exhausted.He had difficulty to sleep when every sound made him jump,every shadow in the corner gave him a heart attack.
He would like to stop thinking,he would like to find a way to turn off his mind,to blow up the candle that kept his brain from sleeping and this crazy thought makes him understand that he had become even more incredibly pathetic than he already was.
Aegon was terrorized.If he already ignored Helaena,now he was avoiding her like the plague in fear that she could say something else,or worse,talk about her thoughts to Y/n.
Y/n,his beautiful and sweet wife,already had so much to think about.Being eight months pregnant was taking a toll on her,even though she never stopped smiling,he could see that she was tired and that her body couldnโt bare it anymore.He couldnโt let her worry about something that his weird sister said to him,not when the Maester said that she needed peace,calmness and affection.And even if he hadnโt said that,how could Aegon tell her what was keeping him awake at night?
He set more and more knights to follow his wife around to make sure that nothing happened to her and his children,the Maester came to check on her at least once a day and when he wasnโt with her,his mother would keep her company in the solarium.He had personally hired people to hunt the rats of the Red Keep.Aegon so often dreamed of being just like the armors that Ser Arryk wears,cold, motionless,empty,that he has come to believe that it would be beautiful,it would be fulfilling,to be something without emotions and rest in a corner without light.
Aegon had still to meet his son,both of his children,after he had dreamed of him,of them,for so long.And yet already someone wanted to take his baby away from him.
The flashes of the veins on his forehead tingle and he clash,he crush himself,against an imaginary expanse of water that slaps his brain,crushes his lungs with long ivory tusks,disfigures his face.
Aegon was blocked.
He was stuck in some claustrophobic scribbled box,in a rusty bubble of his faulty soul,and he was afraid see beyond.But he could see the future,the one that Helaena had tried to warn him about.
He could see beyond and,the certainty is disconcerting,he clearly see that the worst nightmare of any human being,what wakes up men in the middle of the night and scares children with simple shadows,is the awareness of being chased:no one can ever escape from themselves,no one has ever escaped from destiny.
Not even him,especially him.
Because Aegon knew already,tasting it on the tip of his tongue,that what will happen is was going to be his fault.Certainly not because of Y/n.
ยซAm I boring you?ยปY/n voice was tired but still sweetยซForgive me,my days are monotonous,predictable and highly boring.ยปshe huffed,caressing his hand above her stomach.
Ever since she had started showing,her husband treated her like the finest and most delicate porcelain.All she could do during the day was read in their chambers,walk through the gardens and pray with the Queen.Not exactly a vivacious life,especially since Ser Arryk followed her every move.
She yawns,she apologizes,and Aegon finally slam the lumpy eyelashes and look at her.
Y/n is smiling,innocent,carrying his children and then his body moves by itself,he act instinctively, and get her closer to him.
A hand behind her nape,a strong and fast grip, almost stuttered,and Aegon feel her words on the palate,he eat them between his lips moving on her open mouth.He kiss her badly,and he hurt himself,he will hurt both of them,he kiss her following the dull rhythm of his ears,he kiss her and he pass the noise of his thoughts to her.
Aegon feels a hole in the center of his throat,a knot of cries,and this makes him sway and covers his eyes with torn red lightning here and there,it breaks his mind.Yet he keep kissing her.He have to kiss her.
Kissing Y/n scratches his soul,kissing her stirs up his fears and reminds him,in the pause of one of her breath,the so natural way in which pleasure and pain mix,get tangled,whenever pieces of skin graze and play with the tongues and crests of a fire.Fingertips caressing purple flames,white sheets reduced to blackened shreds,a plate of ice lying on the jigular.
Kissing Y/n now is like taking a sip of salt.Filling her mouth,having her under his palms,feeling the boiling heat of her cheeks against his nose and against his upper lip.
Y/n forces Aegon to give her every good part of himself,even those he thought were lost by now,and she does it with twisting tongues or with an annoying clash of teeth.All it takes is a simple touch and heโs willing to give her the world.She makes him wanting to be a better person and he so scared to fail her,that he wouldnโt be able to protect her and the most precious things that they created together.
ยซAegon.ยปshe whispered on his lips,eyes fluttered closed.
ยซI love you.ยปhe said without thinkingยซI love you and our children.And I didn't think I could ever love,not this way.ยปhe confessed,his voice trembling as his mouth was on hers again.
ยซI love you too.Are you alright sweetheart?ยปY/n asked placing a hand on his warm cheek,she could read him like a open book but sometimes even her couldnโt understand him completely.
Aegon wished he could tell her all about what was going on in his mind.To share with her his deepest fears,to let her hold him and tell him that everything is going to be alright and that they will be safe and together for all of their lives.
But when she starts kissing him in a different way,like a helpless girl who would let herself do anything from him,when she starts kissing him with a teenage heat,a heat so in love and so lost, then he would like to do something else.
He would like to yell all the terrible words that Helaena told him,he would like to tug on her and burst her stupid and crazy soap bubbles in front of her eyes and he would like to do it just to remind her who he really was.To remind his sweet Y/n that so willingly loved,accepted and cherished him,that believed that with him nothing could touch her,that he was still a dragon and dragons are known to burn people.
Aegon doesnโt answer her,he just lets his forehead on hers with his eyes closed.
ยซYou donโt have to worry.ยปY/n murmured against his skinยซYou are not like your father and our children already know that,they love you just like I do.ยปshe promised him,their hands interlaced on her belly.
He had voiced his concerns about fatherhood the moment she told him that she was with child,his child.Children now.And she had spent countless nights reassuring him that he was going to be a good father,a better one,unlike his.That he was going to be there for them,but now he knows that he canโt escape his own fate.His father shadow will forever be there to remind him that they are just the same:bound to fail their families.
โStop it,please.Stop holding my heart so tight in your hands,that's enough.โAegon thought.
It was in moments like these that Aegon remembered that Y/n was just a girl,a frightened sixteen years old who lives every second with her chest open,her heart too visible to anyone,too exposed.The feelings,the emotions,painted between her bright eyes and lips,make her an easy target,a sacrificial lamb,a too good person who can easily be stabbed in the back.
Her goodness and naivety makes her vulnerable and Aegon knows it,Gods,he knows it.
Because Y/n is not,in the slightest,capable of defending herself,she is not even able to understand the reality of the universe,she does not come to terms with the subtle and treacherous truths.She does not accept the existence of evil in the world,she does not accept the possibility that often what is considered good and right,is not really good,is not really right.
So how could Aegon get her away from the black that drips from his nails,scars,thoughts?Y/n thinks she knows how dark his soul is,she thinks she's got it,but he know she doesnโt.
It will never be like this.
ยซAegon.ยปshe calls for him again as soon as she realizes that his mind is wandering too far.
Y/n throws his name on his skin and he swallow the panic that warms his esophagus,which runs through his every rib,as he block her head in his hands,almost in a trap.
Aegon push her to lie on the mattress,make her collapse between the pillows almost as if he had beaten her in a duel,and he hovers on top of her relaxed body,carefully holding her stomach.
Y/n doesn't tremble.
Heโs are literally assaulting her and she lets him do it,she agrees,she welcomes him between her legs,in her heart,in her mouth that moves a little away from his and then falls on his eyelids that are still closed.
Aegon wish he could tear his eyes out,blind himself with huge metal spikes.He doesnโt let anyone get so close to him,heโd never done it and now more than before he wished didnโt do it.Because now they would see it,they already saw it.It was evident,under the lights and everyone eyes that his legacy was about to be born and die all in once.
Even the rats will see it.If someone dared to direct their steps towards Aegon,if someone dared even raise their head towards him,they would see his pupils and find Y/n and their children in there.
At the center of all his thoughts,of all his hopes:the end of an entire life that has bent over itself in the hope of scraping together some more time and living it with them.
So what's wrong?What binds his eyelashes in a white spider web?Could Helaena be right or he was being paranoid again?She was right about the fact that Y/n was carrying twins,the Maester had confirmed it months ago,but could she be right about the rest?
Then he felt it,against his warm palm and his heart skip a beat.A little kick,yet strong and determined to be felt.
ยซLooks like someone woke up.ยปY/n giggled,looking down at her body.
ยซI didnโt mean to wake them.Iโm sorry.ยปis all that Aegon can whisper and he doesnโt even know what heโs really apologizing for.
Y/n listens to him and suddenly recognizes something in the tone of his voice.She relaxes her limbs under him even more,completely wipes away any trace of tension as if someone had just cut the thin threads that moved her body,and she sulks as she touches his lilac eyes that he still deny her,stubbornly.
ยซWhy are you so sad?What happened?ยปshe said,concern covering all her beautiful face.
Itโs not what happened,but what could happen.
Aegon forced a smile on his lipsยซA bad dream.That's all.ยปhe lies,shaking his head.
Thats what he prayed every night,that it was all a nightmare and that he would wake up soon.
Y/n rubs her fingertips on his eyelashes and he feel her lips lying against his cheekbone.Sheโs smiling.
ยซDon't worry.I just found the last sleep crumbs that were hiding from you and threw them away. They were the ones who held back the bad dream and now they are gone.ยปshe explained to him,peppering sweet kisses on his face.
Aegon eyelids rise on their own and he clash with the flickering image of his wife looking at him and bringing to his face her index finger on which one of his eyelashes is placed,almost a crescent moon caught in the air and hovering towards the earth.
ยซDo you want to make a wish?My mother always told me to do it,but I have to admit that almost none of my wishes ever came true in this way. Maybe I was asking for impossible things,out of my reach.Same thing with the shooting stars.Do you want to try anyway?ยปY/n was rumbling,now he remembered why she was friends with his sister.
Aegon leverage his elbows,without getting too far away from her and look at her strangelyยซWhat?ยปhe asked confused.
His cheeks mottled red and it seems to him that the way she bites her lips is yet another punch against his anesthetized emotions.
ยซForgive me,it's such a stupid thing.Please forget it.ยปand while she is saying it she moves her nail in the act of throwing away his wish that has taken on the common form of a pale eyelash.
Y/n gesture makes the eyelash roll down and it swirls over itself and chases the earth,chases its tail,forms several open circles into which he stick his dream,his nightmare,his hidden thought.
The eyelash is lost on the red carpet and Aegon don't see it anymore.
He look for Y/n gaze again as she pushes him back into kissing her.She asks him,clumsily,to let go of those silly words of hers.The words of a girl that was still too young and forced by her father to grow up too fast,a girl hat was still a child herself with all of her fantasies and fairytales.A child that will raise children soon.
Because Y/n was better than Aegon,she is,even if she doesn't know it,and she showed it to him so many times that he has now lost count of the occasions when he felt at fault.Occasions when he realized he don't deserve her.
Aegon prefer to ignore this reality of the facts,he prefer to put his lips on her collarbone and bite slowly,resume and rummaging through her fertile body,one hand in her hair and the other under her nightgown,and grab as much as much as she offers him.
And Y/n offers Aegon everything,always.
ยซNo wish was ever fulfilled?No one?ยปthe question comes out of his teeth before he can control it,it pours out as his mouth moves over her belly that he suddenly feel quiver.
She is laughing.All three of them are,he realizes as he start tracing with his fingers his children imaginary features on the skin of her stomach.
ยซMaybe two of them.ยปY/n says,referring to the lives she created inside of herยซBut I found out that my wishes only come true when I look at myself in a puddle.ยปshe laughs again with her mouth open and then moves her head into a pillow.
His fingertips tingle on contact with her skin and his stomach closes into a knot the moment he notice how the intimacy that his movements has turned into familiarity.Because that is what they were going to be soon,a family.
ยซWhen did you looked at yourself into a puddle?ยปAegon suddenly asked,giggling a bit when another kick met his hand.
Y/n hand found its way into his messy silver locksยซThe day that my father had accompanied me here for our betrothal.ยปshe tells him,a warm feeling in her chest at the memory.
ยซIt was raining.ยปhe said,he remembered perfectly the first time he saw her.
He remembered her father fussing all over her wet hair,trying to adjust her dress and to make her look presentable.But she was still the most beautiful and vulnerable creature that Aegon had aver seen.A little wet bird in a golden cage.
She noddedยซBefore entering the Keep i took a deep breath and,as I stared at my reflection into a puddle at my feet,I secretly wished that the husband i was going to have would love him as much as I love looking at the star.ยปshe smiled lovingly down at him.
It came true.Aegon felt his heart exploding in his chest,he loved his wife more than anything in the world.It was so easy for him to love her,how could he not?The thought that she had to wish for something like that,for something that for him was like breathing made his eyes flutter with little tears.
Aegon moved an arm and he already knew that he will hold her hand,remaining palm to palm,as he already know that her fingers will chase his,that they will squeeze,gasps.Wrists banging against wrists,veins in contact.
The time of a whole life that slips away.
ยซI have never made a wish.ยปhe confessed then.
He just took,he just wanted.
Oh Aegon,what a stupid mistake.
He stole the dreams of his future child,he had plundered entire experiences of the past,and yet he could have simply asked.With courtesy,with kindness.With a little humility.
What a stupid mistake.
ยซYou must have had a really bad dream.ยปY/n whispers in her voice broken by his caresses,and then leans and puts her forehead against his as he rise to look at herยซBut itโs never too late,you can still have your wish.ยปshe reassured him.
No he couldnโt and maybe they should stop talking,stop wasting time.They both should just exchange their saliva and shut up.Pant,moan obscenely and stop everything else.Eliminate among them the layers of soul,the remnants of some childish hopes,and join like empty bags.
It would be better this way,Aegon recognize this too,just below the surface,just below the peel of his chest,at least admit with himself that it would be better that way.He should stop discovering her hips with words,with confessions,with Helaena confusing words,with half-truths:it's too risky.
He should just close himself and unite with her only the bodies,discover the consistency of the painless choices and stay there stationary,inside an empty and deep gap in which the arms and legs move frantically without ever finding anything to hold on to.
This was his life once,before her.
Aegon had endless possibilities of oblivion,between the broken lines of the light palms,he had everything a young,spoiled prince could ask for.
The simplicity of superficial human relationships flowed through the buttonholes of his fingers and he continued to be unhappy,stubbornly perpetuated his pursuit of unhappiness,but he didn't know it,and therefore he really wasn't.
Or maybe yes?Maybe a part of him knew that?Is that why his chest is burning now?Because now he was finally happy for the first time and he didnโt wanted it to end?
Because now Aegon has Y/n and he managed to create something pure and innocent and beautiful with her,giving them all of the good qualities he didnโt knew he possessed.
Y/n seems to listen to his every secret and fear,to feel his breathing change and become noisier,deeper.She place a hand on his abdomen, slowly,she traces with her fingertips first his palm and then also his wrist,then also the blue vein,and repeat his name,repeat his name,repeat his name again.
Aegon enchant himself in front of the movement of her mouth and listen to the ticking of her heart that stretches until it pulls a painful fist on his gums.
Heโs an adult now,a husband and a father.He should behave as such and leave the butterflies to the kids and remember that him,in his stomach and belly,only have the worms of rotten apples.
This happens to those who never make a wish. Didn't he know that?
ยซI would kill for our family,even innocent people if this means keep the three of you safe.ยปAegon suddenly said,voicing his thoughts out loudยซWould you still love me after that?ยปthe question is sour in his mouth.
Y/n opens her eyelids to the sound of his question,frantically slams her eyelashes,those eyelashes,and swallows with difficulty.The cheeks are even redder and the ears are also red,the eyes are shiny.Atoms of soul and innocence:they agglomerated together and formed her,a little girl composed of glass and cobwebs,bubbles and feathers.
The bravest Lady he had ever met.
ยซOf course I will love you.My heart is your for eternity.ยปshe replies and doesn't hesitate for a momentยซAnd I would do the same for us.ยปshe added with a whisper.
Her love for him is equivalent to a black hole in which he could immerse himself and observe a boundless horizon of stars broken and stuck in an icy ground.
She loves him.
And she knows that Aegon loves her too.But right now he can't even answer her,to tell her that heโs sorry,that heโs scared,that he reciprocate her feelings with the same intensity or that maybe he reciprocate them in an even more desperate way than her,crazier.He wish he could tell her that he wished they had more time,that he wasnโt who he is,that he wished that they were born in a different place and had different lives to share forever.
Y/n face is beautiful,her forehead is smooth,no flickering lines to scar her tranquility,and the skin near her eyes is crumpled from the day they got married and started to live a life together.It's the restrained cries,the sleepless nights,the quarrels,the misunderstandings,the voracious kisses left on them like square pieces.
Y/n looks at him,her eyes are still shiny,and with her fingertips and palms she clings to his camisole.
Sh clings to him and Aegon doesnโt feel any weight,he doesnโt feel any pain,no discomfort.Then at least one thing shines certain and bright in his mind:she has become the very consistency of his body.She has entered his limbs,without him noticing,and she is so close to him,beyond the blood and the breaths,that her hand is now an extension of his,her chest is his,her back is his,her lips are his.
And they would be able to see it,all perfectly together in the faces of their children.
And it is not a mere matter of possession,just an arranged marriage to unite two houses,this is not the truth and it will never be.It is something ancestral,like being destined to meet her,being destined to belong to it,being destined to live there,despite time and space.
Aegon and Y/n were sitting on the opposite ends of a timeline,at two distant points in human life, so far away that they saw each other like blurred halos,and they wanted so much to find the other,they have desired it so much,so much,that they have decided to tilt the axes of existence,to hang on to them,and to reunite with an interweaving of hands.
They had bent their faces,touched their souls by ticking of nails,and nothing was the same again.What a stupid mistake they made,something that their innocent son will pay one day.
Aegon felt like he was on fire,his whole body was trembling and his heart ached in his chestยซY/nโฆIโฆI-ยปbut what could he tell her?
He could push her away from him,go ahead and just do it,but on his bones he will still find her shape and her footprints.If he looked for her,looked for her in him,he would find that she was everywhere.
ยซY/n,IโmโฆIโm really sorr-ยปhe tried to choke out what he could.
ยซDo you know what I wanted when I first looked inside a puddle?ยปY/n didnโt let him finish,instead she kept stroking his face lovingly to help him calm down.
Aegon doesnโt move and she puts her index finger against his right temple,light.He knew that,from where she was from,it usually rained during the end of the summer and that she loved playing outside with her siblings and mother.She was the one that taught Y/n to look inside poodles and to dance in the rain,something that she would teach her future children too.
ยซI wished I could see myself.I wanted it intensely,I really wanted it with all my strength,as I never wanted anything in life.ยปY/n started to explain him.
All of her life was planned for her,from the moment she came to the world,by her father that only saw his daughter as piece of chess to move on the board in order to gain power.She didnโt even knew who she was if not Lady Y/n,a proper and polite young girl ready to marry in the royal house.But now she knew who she was,what she liked to eat,to read,what to do in her free time and it was all thanks to Aegon that had shown her how to be selfish for the first time and to live for herself.
ยซAnd I see myself now,I can see myself,but I'm not happy.Because I have a new wish,much more important:that you can see yourself in the same way I see you,the way our children already see you.Then yes,i would be happy.We would both be happy.ยปshe told him,sincerely with a little smile on her beautiful face.
Y/n had plundered his last feelings,which were nothing more than bread crumbs left attached to the eaten crusts.If the world fell,the sun fell,all the snow,the hail,the rain and the lightning fell,even the rainbow.He will make fire pour from the sky,he will spill blood just to keep his family alive and safe besides him.
Aegon doesnโt say anything,he moves forward on top of her and kisses her one again.He has a wish now:time.The only thing he wanted was time,more time to see his children grow up and become beautiful people,time to spend with them and to teach them how the world works,to help them and hold their hands,to protect them when they were scared and to remains them that he will love them forever.More time with Y/n,to love and cherish her,to grow old with her,to make her smile and laugh at the most inappropriate times,to caress her sweet face at night as he watches her sleep.He just wanted more time,he deserved it.
ยซHow about,the next time that rains,we go outside,just us.ยปAegon murmurs on her lipsยซI have a wish to make.ยปhe continued with a small smile.
And he prayed the gods,whoever could listen to him,that it would become true the moment Y/n giggled and nodded her head.He hoped but hope can do nothing against an already written destiny and then he will be ready to go to war.
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Last Name Dilemma
Yknow, this is purely for myself, happy me hating my last name. This is a yandere thing btw and please note that I am an artist, not a writer :,) so sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes
I had this amazing idea. If you don't really like your last name and get sucked into the world of twisted wonderland, why not just get a new one? It's very easy when you have suitors vying for your attention at every corner of the school! ๐คญ
It all started in the cafeteria...
Of course they were overjoyed you thought their last names were cool, did this mean you indirectly wanted to marry them? Well the game is on, and they for sure will win.
Much to their displeasure though, rumors speads fast at NRC, with everyone else quickly getting to know about your lastname dilemma. They are not backing down, wanting to burn the world down just to achieve their happy ending with you.
Ace
Of course you would want to marry him! He is your first friend in this wretched school after all! (Deuce would like to differ on that statement but yeah)
Ace may not be the richest, smartest or most beautiful, but he is your best friend, (hopefully) your first choise and (will make sure to be) your first love! Guy is serious. He will also pull all sorts of dirty tricks against everyone else, you're his bestie to marry no one else's!
Deuce
Ah poor little Deuce. Guy choked on his food when he first heard you talk about how cool their last names sounded. You think his last name is cool? Does that mean that you like him too? You wanna date him, marry him? Be his forever?? He is feeding into his own delusions and your words are only making it worse.
As soon as he has finished lunch he will excuse himself and make a call to his mom and tell her the wonderful news on how you and him will definitely get married! (He just gotta get you a sweet, sweet ring that you deserve)
Cater
Cater being quick on the trends, he was even quicker on the rumors about you having no last name (and definelty needing one). He has such a cute last name, it would fit so well with you! <3
He is already dreaming up the perfect magicam wedding, to show off how the oh so wonderful you chose him, and no one else. He also dreams of the private moments after, how you'll hold him as he sobs his heart out, so happy you chose him. He hopes these silly daydreams will soon become reality, cos he can't wait much longer..
He also definelty overloads you with his clones, giving you so much love you don't need to turn to anyone else for that :)
Trey
When Trey heard the rumors he sighed, feeling bad for how overwhelmed you probably are with everyone else's proposals. Well, come to him whenever you feel like it's too much, he will always make sure to lktsen to your problems (he loves the domestic feel to just having late night chats with you in the heartlbuyl kitchen as he prepares another batch of sweets for the next unbirthday party).
He will make sure that his own proposal of marriage is short and sweet, and he is sure it will win you over, who wouldn't want his sweets all day every day? He will make sure to feed and love you for the rest of eternity if you chose him <3
Riddle
Riddle is messy, he wants you as his spouse and he kinda wants it NOW, since he feels like he deserves it. You're the perfect match to him, the king of hearts to his queen od hearts...
He will show off how good of a husband he would be to you, how he will take care of you with a stable job, how he will help you with all homework and make sure you get special treatment on unbirthday parties. If he sees anyone trying to propose why they should be yours and not him, well, you know his unique magic...
Jack
Wolves mate for life. Jack wants to mate for life. Who does he want as his mate? You. You have changed his life, and he does not want to lose you, please. He is territorial, liking how your name would sound with his last name, now he just gotta make it happen..
Ruggie
Ruggie feels desperate when he hears the rumors. Why would you chose him, when you have literal celebrities, prince's and high standing people vying for you? Then he remembers, he owes you. It's usually the other way around yes, bur he owes you somehow.
With this he cooks up the amazing plan of giving you his last name as a thanks for that one time. He also gotta introduce you to his family, he knows granny bucchi is gonna peer pressure you into accepting marriage with him...
Leona
Leona will not lose you. He has lost so much coming second to everyone he knows. He will NOT lose you to anyone here, he will fight dirty and kill for you if there's a chance he gets with you. He has the money to hire help to get rid of people too, and that same money can sway you into chosing him, since that deadbeat crow ain't giving you a liveable sum to live on.
He makes sure to capture you for naps whenever he can, making sure to leave his scent on you, enough so most people can smell how he has been on you.
Floyd
Eeh? Shrimps wants a good last name?? Well with his you could scare oh so many away, leading to an easy life for you! It also leads to a fun life with you and him, and there will never be a dull moment in his life with you by his side!
Just don't take his last name with his brother yeah? Get with him instead.
Jade
Oya? The prefect wants a last name? A husband too perhaps? Jade's smile widens as he plans out how to trap you into a wonderful marriage with him. Perhaps some of his new mushrooms in his terrariums will make you tired enough to get you to sign a marriage contract with him?
Just don't marry his brother instead of him, he don't really know how he would handle that..
Azul
Azul feels himself become of sp happy whenhe heard the rumors. Finally! You will have him corner you as soon as he can, sweet smile on his face as he offers you a golden contract of his. He crafted it meticulously, making sure everything in it would be perfect for the both of you.
He tries to butter you up so badly, please he just wants you to himself, is that too much to ask for?
Jamil
Jamil has to hold back to use snake whisper, but he has it in case you chose the wrong option (not him). He wants you, he does that to lose you to anyone, ESPECIALLY KALIM. He probably uses snake whisper against others, to sabotage, to do anything. He just can't lose you...
He definelty shows off his cooking and cleaning skills, showing how he can be the perfect househusband for you. Look how good you could have it with him...
Kalim
Kalim is manipulative about this. He mat not be aware of it, bur he sure is. He wants you as his (spouce) bestie, and he will get that. Guy has never gotten a no, and he will not get one now (he hope atleast).
Let him plan you a grandiose wedding! With food, clothes, venue, parades and so much more worth millions and millions of thaumarks. He will space no expense for you!
Epel
Why is epel so roughened up? Why he fought for your hand of course! Isn't it manly to show off that you can easily fend gรถr your love? He also loves loves LOVES the attention you give him as you fix him up.
He feels so proud of the fights he won, wearing the scars like proud medals, so please take care of them before they get infected- he will only let you do it-
Maybe he will get into more fights if he can get your heavenly touch as a reward..
Rook
Rook stalks you on the daily, so of course he got to work as soon as the words left your mouth. He will hunt you down, get your heart and love and live happily every after :)
He 100% gets violent as well, bur of course you won't see that side of him! He wouldn't want to scare you..
Vil
Vil is certain you will chose him. He is the fairest of them all (niege don't count he is ugly), that is what you deserve. He will take care of you, especially your appearance. You've sent how he is with epel, now get ready for double that...
He dolls you up, makes you the best version of yourself so he can show you off on his socials,to mush it into that dumb nieges face that THE vil had you and niege doesn't. He is the fairest of them all with you of course..
Of course, he is the only queen worthy enought for your love and affection, so please just marry him already, he wants a Photoshoot together with you...
Idia (plus Ortho being STRICTLY PLATONIC)
I'm sorry but have you read his ssr story? Guy doxxes over nothing lol. He will breach your security if you tell him no, he has lost so much already, can't he have you please? You're the only thing he wants...
He will 100% use Ortho against you, backing you into a corner together with the robot. Ortho wants to make his brother happy, and he would be the happiest together with you. Ortho would also be so so so happy if you were his bif sibling too!
Theyve lost so much, they just want a happy family, together with you.. (ORTHO ONLY WANTS YOU AS A SIBLING NO WEIRD SHI AGAINST ORTHO PLEASE)
Sebek
Sebek has to run to lilia for guidance. Why has this human out this wonderful spell on him, why does he feel so lightweight? Why is his face so red? Why does he want to reject you for the rest od your days, more than he wants to protect malleus?
He wants to marry you. To have a wonderful marriage between human hand half fae, almost liek his parents... he will protect you at all costs. Please do love his loudmouth ass back..
Silver
Silver has no last name as well, so in his mind you both are already matching. He is too sleepy to actually do anything other than fall asleep with you.
Lilia
Lilia would snicker at the rumors. Ah, how he feels young again, silly what love can do to someone... he would love to help his son's with this, but sadly he wants this just as much if not more...
Malleus
Malleus does not want to lose his friend. His first and only real friend. He has tried to court you for so long, and now that you've dropped a hint that you wanted him (by saying you wanted a cool last name) he starts the royal courting traditions.
He follows all the traditions, step by step, being very careful to be correct and sparing no expense. He makes sure you see the future home of yours (the castle), his humongous hoard and his greatest treasure, gao gao dragon..
.. holy hell this was so much longer than what I expected. Well, who would you go for? Do tell :,)
Also, would yall want more long form content like this or way more short form? My asks got deleted so don't really have any to draw smhhh </3 so do send shi in please <3
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TAKING WHATโS NOT YOURS!
ART X TASHI X PATRICK X F!READER
part 1 part 2
this one is exposition and build up for the smut eventually! enjoy my princesses
tashi duncan stole from you.
in many ways, many times. the first was when she thrashed you in your very first college tennis tournament. you would always remember the sound she made, that war cry. it was like she had decapitated you or something. she stole victory from you that day.
then she did it again, and again, and again. every single time she played you, she beat you. you could annihilate everyone but her, crushed them all to dust. but she was the one person that would not be decimated. you didnโt speak off the court, didnโt look at each other twice in the halls of stanford. but she had this look on her face. this smug, knowing look. here to lose again? it said. and you werenโt some average joe shmoe tennis girl. you were really good. people that had no reason to bolster your ego had told you that, so you knew it to be true. you were fucking brilliant, and she had no right to look at you like you were dirt. you gave her a tough match, but still she looked at you like she knew she was going to win.
when asked about her, all you could say was โi hate that smug bitch.โ
what she said about you you didnโt know, and not for lack of trying. you didnโt know if she even spoke of you at all. the thought made you angrier than when she beat you. once, when at the same party, she waved at you.โhi,โ she said, and gave you that same i-just-beat-you look. she was taller than you, and craned her neck unnecessarily far to look at you. where did that stupid bitch get off?
she was this towering roadblock, the one thing stopping you from entering the upper echelons of tennis royalty. you had the fucking talent, you had put in the fucking time, you were so fucking good. but you werenโt stanfords sweetheart. you just werenโt. everyone knew you were good, but you werenโt the best.
from the matches you had watched, which was nearly all of them, you were the only person she played that gave her a run for her money. she didnโt sweat the way she did when she played you, the points were never so neck and neck. she should be threatened by you, and yet she looked at you like any other silly college floozy that was the best in her high school. tennis was your life, as much as it was hers. she stole your dignity in that way.
the next time she stole from you was patrick zweig. a sort of boyfriend, an in-between, getting there boyfriend. he couldโve been yours. you couldโve been happy together. but tashi duncan couldnโt have that.
you heard whispers about a night in a hotel room, a threesome, a twosome with a watcher, two guys jacking off on tashi duncan. they could deny, deny, deny, but whatever did or didnโt happen meant patrick zweig never returned your calls anymore. you could still recount the exact tonality and pacing of his answering machine message.
it was fine. itโs whatever. he wasnโt a forever boyfriend anyway.
but once a girl has sex with someone, she expects some degree of loyalty, some sort of goodbye. it wasnโt about him, he was cute, a good-not-great fuck, and never claimed to be serious about you. he didnโt matter. it was the fact she had him. together or not, she had him. he belonged to her. even after they broke up, everyone knew he never liked any of his other many girlfriends like he loved her. they used to walk around hand in hand, kiss, and it made you brim with jealousy. not because you gave any kind of fuck about him as a person, but because she got him instead of you. it was her. all her. she had stolen one more thing.
as time passed, your hatred burned just as bright. you practiced day in day out, hoping that somehow she could see you now, somehow she would know you were her equal.
then you met a boy. art donaldson.
you had known he was involved with her. the hotel threesome stories spared no details of the parties involved, despite factual discrepancies in other areas. but you figured, while she was dating his best friend, you were safe from the curse of tashi duncan. you allowed yourself to fall in love, softly, timidly. having met in american literature, you fostered a little spark. a love, barely the size of a candles flame, flickered in your chest. maybe, you had prayed. maybe him. maybe he was yours. you kissed at new years for the first time, and days later he met your parents. it was new, fresh, but it was love. you loved him.
and then she stole from you for the final time. in one foul swoop, she took everything from you.
it was the final of the college tournament. the two stanford angels playing each other for the victory. the court was red and packed, newly redone. you both wore white. whoever won this was guaranteed a shot at the open in the summer, and that was all you needed. you were so fucking ready. no one was better than you. no one. you had trained so hard, art could attest to it, hell, the entire school could attest to it. ask anyone who saw you around that time, they wouldโve seen a scowl on your face and a racket on your back. those who had the pleasure of watching you play wouldโve say it: you were fucking good.
thatโs why it crushed you. across from her, at match point, advantage duncan, you watched as her knee moved independent from her leg. in between grunting and pelting, there was a crack, and tashi duncan was no more. a hush fell over the crowd as she cried, fell to the ground clutching her knee. you heard that. but you didnโt hear the ear splitting scream that came from your own mouth, couldnโt feel your body sprint, jump the net to crouch by her side. beads of perspiration rolled down her face, scrunched in agony. she bared her teeth like a cornered animal, and looked up at you through her squeezed eyes. her knee looked awful, so you stared at the rest of her. without thought you placed a hand on the top of her head. to comfort her you think.
it was so quiet. the only sound was her crying, her laboured breath stilling your heart to a lifeless thud.
โitโs ok,โ you said,โyouโre going to be ok, tashi.โ
you remembered feeling an inexplicable sadness, a grief that you had never known before. you wanted to get rid of her pain, any and all of it. none of it came from you, you didnโt want her to have it. but that was so quickly forgotten. because as you moved to touch her shoulder with your shaking hand, it was eclipsed by another. a larger hand, the hand of a man. a pale hand. a hand you had touched before, even kissed. the hand of your man.
your eyes met, each with equal fear, horror and sadness. it was then that you knew that the curse of tashi duncan wouldnโt rest until you died. she would steal and steal and steal, even beyond the grave. he looked caught, because he was. he was caught. once you loved tashi you never stopped. he had raced into the court because she had fallen at a game he attended to watch you play, had touched her shoulder with the hand that had held you. he was not yours, as much as you needed him to be. his eyes twinkled with regret, but told you everything you needed to know.
your hand drew away with a flick, like it had given you an electric shock. you rose from tashis tortured body. his hand slipped to where yours had rested. this was all somehow not her fault, while being her fault entirely. you hated her so much it made your heart bleed. you didnโt want anything to do with her anymore. no whisper of her name, no nothing. from this moment on she was dead to you.
you didnโt bother looking over your shoulder to see if art was watching you leave. he wasnโt. the umpire boomed something through a mega phone, something like wait. but you were going home.
in the hall you bumped shoulders with patrick zweig. he was rushing to find her. he looked at you once to apologise hurriedly, twice to utter your name in recognition, and a third time to look at your back and wonder why you were so down. tashi was out. you won by default.
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so american โข max verstappen
pairing: max verstappen x singer!reader
warnings: none; just some silly shit, some swearing, google translate dutch, max's home race is belgium and not the netherlands for timeline related reasons
summary: y/n is teasing way too many things at onceโฆ..can the fans keep up?ย
author's note: this is NOT an original concept i am aware of this. but this hasnโt left my brain in days. iโve got a very specific vision so let me cook. i know i haven't posted on here in over a year but i've returned an f1 fan. enjoy!
yourname added to their story!ย
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yourname: i think i'm in love with montreal. sorry iโve been so off the grid but i am Loving Life so hard. so much inspo in my life rn. will talk soon i promise. love u all bunches ๐ซถ๐ผ๐ท
ynsbestfriend: hey queen you have done it again!
-> yourname: ugh i love you so bad
user1: UM BAE WHOS THAT IN THE LAST SLIDE?
-> yourname: beats me!ย
-> user1: i do not trust you.ย
lilymhe: hiiiii pretty girl
-> yourname: stop im blushinggggg
user2: i fear sheโs in her lover girl eraย
-> user3: girl help im so fucking scared right now whatโs happening
user4: so does any of this have to do with your story from yesterday??????
*liked by yourname.*
maxverstappen1 added to their story!ย
yourname added to their story!ย
liked by honeymoon, danielricciardo, and 3,572,679 others
yourname: life's been a beach lately. clearly i've been loathing my time in spain ://///
user5: IS THAT MAX
-> user6: no bc it HAS to be
heidiberger_: Loved spending the week with you! ๐ค
-> yourname: same!!!!!! let's do it again sometime ๐ฅฐ
-> user6: NOT DANNY RIC'S GF COMMENTING?????? AND LILY MUNI HE ON HER LAST POST???????
user6: no bc even if her and max were dating and she's been traveling with him why have we not seen her in the paddock
-> user7: to throw us off our rhythm????
-> user8: what if they debut at his home race in spa ijbol
liked by landonorris, taylorswift, and 4,683,892 others.
tagged: maxverstappen1, redbullracing, and ynsbestfriend
yourname: hahaha felt like dropping 2 things at once on u guys LOLLLLLLLL. thank u to redbullracing, spagrandprix, and the city of spa for letting me and my friends crash the race the other week to film the โso americanโ music video, and to maxie for winning in ur home country. it was so fucking special to be there supporting u. i love u baby!
ps. another thank u to max for thinking i'm the funniest person in the world and making fun of my americanness for as long as i've known him (which is quite a while).
enjoy this tune guys. it's urs forever and i hope u love it as much as i love the person it's about ๐ซถ๐ผ ๐ง๐ช ๐ณ๐ฑ TU DU DU DU!!!!!
user9: OH NMY GOD I FUCKING KNEW I SAW U IN THE GARAGE
ynsbestfriend: thanks for letting me third wheel mommy
-> yourname: no one else i'd rather drag along!!!
danielricciardo: Welcome to the family! Song's a banger although I can't believe it's actually about Max of all people ๐คข GROSS!!
-> yourname: jealousy is a disease danny.
user10: i actually cannot fathom this this is so me core
alexandramalsaintmleux: I am so glad to know you! Your happiness is everything ๐ฉท
liked by sabrinacarpenter, carlossainz55, and 4,783,522 others.ย
tagged: yourname and ynsfriend
maxverstappen1: Spent a week away in New England with my talented, gorgeous girl. Loved getting away and experiencing America through her eyes! Consider me an honorary American now! Also, stream โSo Americanโ wherever you choose. It's about me ๐ย
yourname: does this mean i can stop hiding in the garage now???
landonorris: Happy for you mate! Love the song as well yourname ๐ค
-> yourname: awe thank u lando ๐ฅบ i got more to show u when i see u next!!!!!!
redbullracing: โค๏ธ๐
user11: MAX IS IN HIS LOVER BOY ERA
danielricciardo: How many more times can you say American?
liked by charles_leclerc, chappellroan, and 3,694,849 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourname: nothing like celebrating the best 2 weeks of my life than showing my boy around ye olde stomping grounds #soamerican
liamlawson30: This is so American of him
-> yourname: like he fits in so well!
lydianight: u'll have him in the american flag board shorts in no time
-> yourname: baby steps :///
user11: she really is in her lover girl era ๐ฅบ
clairo: did you take him to the chipotle that is also a historic landmark downtown??
-> yourname: dude of COURSE i did. he said it was "interesting"
yourname added to their story!ย
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X-Men HCs
A/N: my hyperfixations are not very hyperfixating rn. literally theyโre changing so fast. But take some nice little relationship headcanons, and the next Chapter of Wintersโ Servants is coming soon!!
Characters included: Logan (Wolverine), Scott (Cyclops), Kurt (NightCrawler), Jean
Warnings: potential OOC, nothing else really. kept it nice and light.
Logan (Wolverine):
Logan would absolutely, if you use them, stretch out your new hairbands for you. If you express that you dislike using them unless stretched, heโll offer to wear them on his wrists for a day or two till theyโre stretched to your liking. It could be the most girly hair ties and heโll proudly wear three on each wrist. When asked, heโll happily tell them โJust stretchin โem for my woman/man/partnerโ
Scary dog privileges? Scary dog privileges. He adores making you feel safe enough to wear the most skin revealing or feminine clothing. You want to wear something revealing/very feminine but tell him you're scared? Heโll instantly assure you and tell you to wear anything you want. If someone says something, he wonโt hesitate to shut them up before you even hear.
Thereโs going to be a point in your relationship that youโll realize he absolutely doesnโt care about any of the gross stuff you do. Burp, Fart, donโt shave? He really doesnโt care in the least bit. Definitely the boyfriend that will go, unphased, into the bathroom while you're on the toilet and brush his teeth or shower without a care in the world. If you are comfortable that is, and he secretly preens when he realizes that you're comfy enough to do that stuff around him lol.
I wholeheartedly believe that when he realizes he wants you to be his forever partner, heโll gift you his dog tags. His past is very personal to him, because he could never remember it for a good part of it. His dog tags are only second to him getting down on one knee.ย
Speaking of getting down on one knee, sorry for all the people who want it to be a surprise, but he wonโt make a big deal and will tell you about his plans beforehand. No surprise engagement, and no public one. Not because he doesnโt care, but because he wants to make sure youโre ready and want it too. He doesnโt put much on marriage because it doesnโt change much, and doesn't want you to feel pressured to say yes because there are people there. Heโll love you the same married or not, but he does note how pretty you look with the ring he bought you on your finger.
I personally believe he would be more likely to get in a committed relationship with another mutant. I just think a lot of the X-Men would want to be able to relate to their partner and have their partner relate to them, and Logan is going to live a long life soโฆI can't truly see him with a normal person.ย
If you are apart of the X-Men, while he wonโt baby you or anything, he finds himself keeping an eye on you the most. There have been a fair amount of times that you find yourself having a Logan shield on the field, and even more often if you are susceptible to projectiles.ย
Dates are a norm at this point, Fridays are always the day he takes you out. Itโs usually the same place, but he thinks itโs nice.ย
Flowers are also a norm, if you mention you like them.ย
He doesnโt do much on Valentineโs day because he already does all the normal valentineโs day stuff it weekly or bi-weekly. Does get cheat food so you guys can eat it and watch stupid rom com movies though.ย
Scott (Cyclops):
First and Foremost Scott is such a golden retriever. Anything you want, he obtains quickly and with 0 thoughts of you getting him something in return. He just wants to see his partner happy and healthy, with a smile on their face as often as possible.
He is very big on PDA, likes to hold your hand, or slip an arm around your waist, put his hand in the back pocket of your jeans, etc. Overall he just likes touching you, and just because you're in public doesnโt mean anything.
Adding on to his liking of PDA, I feel like heโs possessive. Like in the one X-Men movie, when Logan goes into the past and stops bad shit from happening and goes to touch Jean and he blocks him? Yeah he does that with you but with everyone. He likes people knowing your his and whatโs better than you two being attached at the hip in public?
He likes when you wear his things as well, not so much for people knowing youโre his like mentioned above but just because you're adorable in it. Want his sweatshirt? Heโs giving it to you even though it's negative 5 out. His cologne? Just take the whole bottle, even though itโs brand new. Heโll get another one!!
When heโs on missions and away, he gives you so many shirts and even a pair of sweats. Sprays the stuffed animals he got you with his cologne, same with your pillows. He will expect the same if itโs you going away for a long time. Or youโll come back to him sleeping on your side of the bed where it smells the most like you, his face stuffed in one of your pillows that has one of your shirts on it.ย
He is very vocal about being your boyfriend, and you being his partner. Everyone in the world knows, yet no one asked. Heโll gush about you to whoever will listen, the rest of the team is so done but they do admit his devotion to you is adorable.
All the ladies and gents and nonbinary pals who want an over the top surprise proposal, this is your man. Itโs super romantic, he pays for your nails if you wear them, getting your hair done, and a new outfit. And you canโt even tell itโs because he wants to propose because he does this all the time. Then he takes you to your fav restaurant and pops the question.
Make no mistake though, he has to be 100% sure that you want him to propose to do so. Heโs so attuned to you and your likings he gets your dream ring without having to ask everyone close to you first. Which also assures him no one can spoil the surprise.
He is one of the few ones who probably doesnโt care if you're a mutant or not, because his love is 100% blind. He would probably want a mutant partner, but once he falls he falls hard.
He also wonโt baby you if youโre in the X-Men, but if he happens to laser them first? Not his fault.
Kurt (NightCrawler):
He is a very shy partner at first. But once he falls for you, and you make it obvious you have fallen for him it all goes out the window. He is a completely different person around you, confident and flirty. He is just so in love.ย
Teases you almost constantly, heโs a teaser with everyone but he loves to see you blush and squirm from his words.ย
Loves if you run your fingers through his fur, and almost emits a low purr when you do. If you brush it for him, especially if he doesnโt ask you but you WANT to, he swears he is going to marry you one day.ย
He takes you places you told him you wanted to go to when you guys were in the talking stage. Paris? Done, letโs get some baguettes for back home! The Bahamas? Pack a bathing suit, and make sure to bring the detangling brush.
He loves non sexual acts of intimacy, like taking baths together!! Your fingers feel like heaven on his scalp when you massage the shampoo and conditioner in his hair. He also loves touching your body, heโs always careful with the fact he has claws but he would never dream of hurting you.
Big on cuddling and all that stuff in private, but I feel like he would want to keep it behind closed doors. Not because he doesnโt love you, but because he wouldnโt be able to keep his hands on you otherwise.ย
Long missions with him are never a problem, heโll just teleport to you wherever you may be and spend time with you before heading back.ย
Heโs your call bird, and the gossip you two are able to share with one another? It is divine. He seems to know everything, and you know the most obvious stuff but he always makes you feel like Sherlock Holmes when you tell him things he already heard and was going to tell you about. Which is why he always makes you spill the tea first lol.
For marriage and proposing, I can see him accidentally proposing on a mission. Tensions are high, and heโs worried that one of you wonโt make it home to the other. The thought alone makes him dread the upcoming battle, but he grabs your hand and looks into your eyes and states with all the conviction in the world โWeโll get married after this.โ
You brush it off, after you both survive the battle, that he didnโt mean it. He just wanted you to know how much he loved you. But oh how wrong you are when you walk into a room with all your close friends and family, Kurt in the middle down on one knee and asking you to marry him. Your face was priceless, and lucky for him everyone took pictures.ย
He definitely carries around a photo with you wherever he goes, and when he prays he takes it out and not only asks that God protect him, but you as well because there is no life beyond you. Even if youโre not religious heโll still do it, just for the peace of mind.ย
Jean:
Sheโs the black cat of the relationship for sure. I mean, she has a lot of issues but she always makes you her first priority.ย
She keeps tabs on you constantly. Whatโs your mood, why? Sheโll talk to you in your mind when youโre anxious to calm you, and let you know that sheโs there with you. Sheโs probably an anxious personsโ best friend. You donโt even have to talk, she knows what you mean and changes accordingly.ย
She is big on communication for sure. If you do something that bothers or hurts her feelings she will sit you down and talk to you about it. And she has this certain way of doing that doesnโt make you feel guilty. Sheโs just letting you know what she does and doesnโt like and wonโt tell anyone else. These things are very private to her. And she expects you to do the same, and her feelings are never hurt by it.ย
Jeanโs type of love is selfless. She would put herself in danger tenfold just to keep you safe. Mutant or not, she would be the one to baby you if youโre a part of the X-Men as well. Thereโs always a kind of bubble around you, that not many but you notice. Hence, people think youโre indestructible because youโre the only one who came back uninjured for the fourth time.ย
She wants to be independent, but also loves when you do stuff for her. She will never ask, but her heart warms so much when she sees you did something for her because you wanted too and not because she asked.ย
She plans your dream proposal. She is almost a roommate in your own mind, she knows what you like and donโt like.ย
Small extra blurb: imagine giving telepathic hints that you want a proposal. She thinks โWhy are they broadcasting their ring si-ooooh. I see.โ
She is so gentle with you, almost afraid that youโll break and itโll be all her fault. The way her hands gently caress you or how she holds your hand is so incredibly gentle.
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๐๐๐ใปh.h.
โ volleyball superstar and your personal hell hwang hyunjin proposes a trade-off you can't refuse: his matchmaking services for a passing anthropology grade. the plan is foolproof in theory; in practice, it is something else entirely.
wordsใป15.2k
pairingใปvolleyball player!hyunjin x tutor!reader (gn)
genresใปcollege!au, sports!au, fake enemies to friends to lovers, fluff, humor, hurt/comfort, slice of life, mutual pining, slow burn. two polar opposites sharing one soul. a seungjin fic if u squint. loosely inspired by the manga/anime haikyuu!!
warningsใปmentions of anxiety, fear of failure, heartbreak, loneliness, and self-image. course language and callous banter (as always) ft. suggestive flirting and one kms joke. some of the referenced players and coaches are real; this fic is not.
playlistใปcollision by stray kidsใปvalue by adoใปwaiting for us by stray kidsใปeternity by bang chanใปdreaming by smallpoolsใปfly high!! by burnout syndromes
a/nใปwriting this felt like returning to my roots tbh. i love volleyball and i love sports aus and i love, love hwang hyunjin. thank u to my sahar for bringing this fic to life with me, as always; i can no longer write for him without also writing for you. i hope u guys enjoy reading this as much as i adored writing it. happy late birthday, our jinnie, our hyunjin, our forever ace; you are so unbelievably loved โก
โNot a word out of you,โ you say, tossing your backpack onto the floor of the lecture hall with a heavy-handed flick. โIโm serious.โ
Hyunjin glances up at you with a frown. โWhen did people stop saying good morning?โ
Your lack of an immediate comeback tells him the situation is dire. He observes you for a moment, his mouth falling open, hanging still, then curving into a slow, serpentine smile.
โLook at me.โ
โNo.โ
โLook at me.โ
โNo.โ
โPlease, angel.โ
โNo! Leave me alone.โ
Hyunjin slumps back into his seat, thinking hard. The solution occurs to him with a poke of his tongue into his cheek. โCoffee on me for a week.โ
At this, your hands stop rummaging in your bag. You cock your head, your interest piqued. Got you.ย
When you finally humor him and turn around, youโre flinching like youโre in pain, eyes closed and breath held and all. He giggles and leans in for a closer look. Tendrils of your body spray reach him from here, floral and light like a tropical coastline. He couldโve counted your eyelashes if he wasnโt so flummoxed by the state of your forehead.
โWhat the hell did you do?โ
โTried to cut my own bangs,โ you sigh. โIt didnโt go very well and now I look like Rock Lee.โ
Hyunjin lets out a forceful laugh. โYouโve seen Naruto?โ
You open your eyes. Only then does Hyunjin remember how little distance he left between your faces, when heโs staring straight into them and all the strange, starry speckles they hold.
The air between you curdles like sour milk.
Things are awkward between you often, heโs realized recently. Whatโs more, he didnโt think he was capable of being awkward with anyone anymore until he met you. It was your ill-fated seat that he chose to sit next to on the first day of ANTH 111, your ill-fated lap onto which he chose to spill his Americano, and the rest was history (or, in this case, anthropology). His tongue ends up in sailorโs knots with every smart-aleck comment and pitiful laugh youโve given him since. Maybe thereโs more to it, maybe there isnโtโHyunjin doesnโt think about it much. He doesnโt like thinking in general.
You pull away from each other in unison. You clear your throat, glancing elsewhere.ย
โOf course Iโve seen Naruto,โ you quip, and everything is normal again. โWhy do you seem surprised?โ
โBecause youโre so scholarly.โ
โI am not scholarly.โ
He raises an eyebrow. โYou go to a park to play chess with old people on weekends.โ
โI need to get my steps in somehow.โ
โYou didnโt know what Urban Dictionary was until I told you to look upโโ
โGod, I learned so much about you that day."
โYour favorite social media platform is Quizlet,โ he bursts, exasperated. โQuizlet.โ
โIt is not.โ An introspective pause. โOr is it?โ
โI wouldnโt be surprised.โ Hyunjin throws his feet up on the chair below him, jabs in your direction with a bandaged finger. โThere is no way you enjoy watching 2D men beat each other up in your free time. I donโt buy it.โ
โHonestly, I thought youโd have more to say about my current appearance than my hobbies.โ
He does, though. Matter of fact, heโs been curating a list since this conversation started: Vector from Despicable Me, Dora the Explorerโs hot older sibling, Spock. You face-planted into a lawnmower. You mistook a paper shredder for a hat. It goes on.
But then his head turns. Your eyes meet again. Heโs reminded that itโs hard to sustain an inner monologue and look at you at the same time, Vector resemblance and all.
He reaches up, nudges a lock of your hair over a centimeter or so, and gives the patch of forehead a gentle flick.
โWatermelon,โ he mumbles with a sickening smile.
You divert your attention to your lecture notes with a disappointed click of your tongue. โYouโre getting soft.โ
He spends the entire lecture daydreaming about tropical coastlines.
โI only get coffee from that one place on the east side of campus, by the way,โ you say as youโre strolling out the building together, โand I get it a very specific way. Can you handle it?โ
โYour faith gets me out of bed in the morning,โ Hyunjin deadpans. โIโll handle it, love. Text me your order.โ
All of a sudden, you position your hands close to your stomach, the lapels of your jacket casting them in shadow. Your fingers begin to move in a sequence that heโd recognize anywhere.
โBody flicker jutsu,โ you whisper, and then youโre scurrying off without another wordโbut you do glance back at him to gauge his response. Your smile is purely effulgent, your laugh but a faint sigh against the main quadโs busy thrum.
Hyunjin gapes at your retreating figure for so long that phosphenes start prancing around his field of view. Then he heads to the gym. His heart is pounding against his ribs like a battering ram.
โHwang, I need you in my office.โ
Hyunjin stops lacing up his shoes to see Coach Bang standing on the courtโs sideline with a grim air about him. He glances at his captain, confused.
โDonโt look at me,โ Minho says mid-stretch. โGodspeed.โ
โThanks, cap.โ Useless.
Head volleyball coach Christopher Bangโs workspace reminds Hyunjin of a morgue. Itโs all fluorescent lights and spotless white walls, the only decorative fixture a picture of his siblings, parents, and dog in front of the Sydney Opera House, framed and facing him atop his desk. Hyunjin once snuck the thing into the bathroom, an innocent plot to satiate his curiosity, and promptly discovered the manโs propensity for violence. Heโs packing beneath those dry-cleaned polos, by the way.
Hyunjin closes the door and takes a seat. Bang taps a knuckle against the tempered glass of his monitor. โYou can read, right?โ
โYes, coach,โ he sighs. Everyoneโs expectations for him are subterranean.
From: Park Jinyoung ยซ
[email protected]ยป
To: Bang โChristopherโ Chan ยซ
[email protected]ยป
Subject: Not good
See email from Hwangโs antopology professor below . He submitted the complete script of the Trolls movie instead of his mid term paper and now heโs failing the class . Not good . Sort out ASAP
JP
Sent from my iPad
Bang snatches up his mouse and scrolls, his ears turning scarlet. โWrong email.โ
โYep.โ
From: Kim Kyeyoung ยซ
[email protected]ยป
To: Park Jinyoung ยซ
[email protected]ยป
Subject: Regarding Hwang Hyunjin
To Director of Athletics Park,
I am writing to inform you that, as of yesterday, Mr. Hwang Hyunjin has a D- (64.9%) in ANTH 111: Cultural Anthropology, due to his submission of the complete script of a kidsโ movie instead of his midterm paper.
It is disappointing to see Mr. Hwang trivialize and ridicule my class to such a degree. Please see to it that he reorganizes his priorities lest his Student-Athlete Participation Agreement do so for him.
Regards,
Kim Kyeyoung
Professor of Anthropology
โThatโs bullshit!โ
โWeโre in agreement there.โ Bang folds his arms over his chest, throws his foot over his knee. โDo you know what your Student-Athlete Participation Agreement says?โ
โDoes anyone?โ Hyunjin scoffs. Bang whips out a form and brings it to eye level, the thing covered from top to bottom in microscopic Times New Roman. โNo way you just had that.โ
โI had it delivered ten minutes ago,โ Bang confesses, then clears his throat and begins to recite. โAll student-athletes must complete the academic term with a C or higher in all courses, should they wish to continue their participation in athletics thereafter.โ
Hyunjin stiffens. โWhat the fuck? Iโve never heardโโ
โIf any Department of Athletics personnel,โ Bang continues, raising his voice, โhave reason to believe that a student-athlete will not be able to satisfy this requirement, they are encouraged to utilize resources such as academic advising or peer tutoring in guiding said student-athlete back onto the correct path.โ
He shoves the piece of paper across his desk. โRead that name aloud for me.โ
Hyunjin stares at the signature at the bottom of the page, scrawled so carelessly that most of it deviates away from its designated line. There is a rare hollowness in his chest that he recognizes as anxiety. With it comes a glimpse of a life without volleyball, the question of what little of him would remain.
โHwang Hyunjin,โ he says under his breath.
The office goes silent. Bang tucks the form back into his drawer. It closes with a gentle click.
Then comes the yelling.
โThe Trolls movie? Trolls?! Are you fucking with me, Hwang?โ
โIt was a cultural reset! The pinnacle of modern media! Howโs that for anthropology?โ
โBAD!โ Bang explodes, gesturing to the email emphatically. โVERY, VERY BAD!โ
Hyunjin slumps over, dejected.
โYouโve never had trouble with school before.โ He leans over his desk imposingly. โWhat the hell happened this semester? What changed?โ
Nothing is the first answer that comes to mind, but Hyunjinโs pulse spikes like a lie detector. Upon the inside of his eyes replays a scene of a certain someone with watermelon bangs doing teleportation jutsu at him from a few yards away, wearing a smile made of some kind of space dust that astronomists havenโt discovered yet.
He grits his teeth, annoyed. This is what happens when he thinks.
โBeats me,โ he fibs. โTypical junior year stress, maybe.โ
โDoes any of it have to do with Piazza?โย
Hyunjin shudders.
It just might, actually.
Modesty has no place in the career heโs had: high school national champion turned ace hitter in both the South Korean U21 roster and regular rotation for Seoul National University, the best collegiate volleyball team in the country. His name has lived at the top of ranking lists and the center of gold medals since he turned old enough to qualify for them; the press believes him the instigant of South Koreaโs imminent volleyball revolution. Itโs a mouthful, he knows.
It was never a question that he would go professional; the question was who he should talk to and where he would go.
At the start of the school year, Bang, acting in place of the agent he was advised to find and never bothered to, gave him a list of people to reach out to. On the very top was none other than Roberto Piazza, the chairman and head coach of Allianz Milano, one of the most eminent club teams in the worldโand current home to Hyunjinโs personal idol, outside hitter Ishikawa Yuki.
Hyunjin thought his poor coach had finally succumbed to his old age. The thought of stepping onto the same court as Ishikawa felt sacrilegious, let alone donning the red, white, and navy blue of Allianz Milano with him. But Bang slapped him on the back of the neck and reminded him that going professional was equal parts preparation and opportunity; he was never going to know the answers to questions he didnโt ask. Hyunjin was coerced to fire off an introductory email despite his reservations.
Piazza replied within the week.
For the last five months, Hyunjin has been fighting with tooth and nail to manage his expectations. He scrolls past the teamโs social media posts like they burn his eyes. He replies to Piazzaโs emails right before working out with Changbin under the assumption that whatever the shredded libero does to him will eviscerate his brain. If his world is made of dreams, this is the one at its very core, imbued with destructive potential the second it became attainable.
But thatโs the last five months. The last five weeks have been you kicking him in the shin because heโs laughing (or trying to make you laugh) and the professor is staring; you listening to him rant and rave about volleyball when he knows you couldnโt care less about the sport; you relaying the contents of your class readings like hot gossip, your eyes wild and hands flying around because you canโt contain your excitement. You, you, you.
He cards a hand through his air, regaining focus. โYou know how I feel about Piazza.โ
โExpect the worst, hope for the best.โ Bangโs chair skids backwards as he stands up. โI think itโs a good approach.โ
Suddenly, he is directly in front of Hyunjin, low enough to meet his eyes. His hands rest upon his shoulders firmly.
โBut hope is hungry, and it will consume you if you let it,โ he says. โDo not let it, Hyunjin. Iโm not asking.โ
Even while being squeezed to a pulp and regarded with the cold intensity of a statue, Hyunjin canโt help but feel anchored, somehow, to the floor of this miserable office. Protected.
Bang lets go of him. โIโm not asking you to find a tutor by the end of the week, either.โ
Hyunjin groans. โYeah, yeah. Iโm on it.โ
A set of bandaged fingers appear in your periphery to place a paper cup onto your laptop. Accompanying the smell of fresh coffee is that of smoky rose, as decidedly douchey as ever.
โI thought you said your order was complicated.โ
You look up from your phone to see Hyunjin plop into the adjacent seat. His long, caramel-colored hair is damp and unstyled in the aftermath of a morning shower, droplets of water pearling on the lapels of a navy blue windbreaker, layered over a white long sleeve. You recognize the outfit by now as game gear.
โWas it not?โ You ask.
โIt was an Americano, love. I walked up to the cashier and placed an order for an Americano.โ
โWell, I wasnโt sure if you could handle that much.โ He flips you off as you squint at the cup. โSomeone wrote their number on the lid, by the way.โ
โWhat? Really?โ
โNo.โ
He shoves you hard enough for your upper body to drape over the opposite armrest; youโre still cackling by the time youโve straightened up again.
โWhy did you get this, anyway?โ Hyunjin grumbles. โI thought you had a sweet tooth.โ
โI do, but you donโt.โ
Only then does the fool understand that you had no intention of charging him in coffee just for a haircut reveal. He takes back the coffee hesitantly.
โThanks,โ he says at last. โNice of you.โ
โI know, right? Hated it,โ you respond, and he almost chokes on his first sip.
You almost choke on nothing when Kim Seungmin materializes in the aisle adjacent. He holds out a hand in Hyunjinโs direction. โYo.โ
Hyunjin dabs it up mid-sip. โI fully forgot you were in this class.โ
โWell, Iโm due for my weekly appearance.โ Seungmin slips into the seat directly below you, glancing at you over his shoulder. โHey, Y/N.โ
โHi,โ you say, somehow managing to stumble over the single syllable the word has. You thank your lucky stars that you fixed your hair yesterday.
You like Kim Seungmin. Not just in the cutesy, crushy way, but in the โI would relinquish all of my rights for youโ way where you spend every waking moment cursing out whatever stroke of misfortune placed Hyunjin in the seat next to you instead of him. Heโs funny, gorgeous, and talentedโa vocal performance major with a student-athlete contractโand you think your infatuation is more than justified. Hyunjin thinks itโs hilarious.
You side-eye your blonde adversary, prepared to see one of three things: a suppressed laugh, a dramatic eye-roll, or a mature kissy face that usually results in the first option. Youโre met with something far more worrisome.
Heโs thinking.
That canโt be good.
Suddenly, his phone screen lights up with a text that temporarily wipes the conspiratorial gleam from his eye. Hyunjin scans it over and groans. โCan this guy do his fucking job?โ
โHe wouldnโt have to if you didnโt quit,โ Seungmin answers. โIโll never forget you, Manager Hwang.โ
โShut up.โ You peer at Hyunjin, silently requesting an explanation. โOur captain is forcing us to help him look for a new team manager. We need one for playoffs because of some stupid U-League ruleโSeung, why do you look morose?โ
โIโm mourning.โ Seungmin does look morose indeed. โHyunjin committed larceny last year and our coach punished him by making him our team manager for the rest of the season. It was so funny.โ
Hyunjin slides down his seat. โIt was the worst experience of my life.โ
Neither man seems inclined to elaborate on the mention of larceny. You choose to digress. โCan I ask why?โ
โHe had to be responsible,โ Seungmin whispers. โFor other people.โ
The top of Hyunjinโs head stops right next to your armrest. You reach over and pat his hair in faux sympathy. โPoor thing.โ
โHardass refused to do it again this year, so now weโre recruiting.โ Seungmin props an elbow upon the back of his chair, looks at you contemplatively. โI donโt suppose you have four hours to spare every day.โ
Hyunjin scoffs from below you. Loudly. โThis one? Team manager?โ
โI can see it.โ
โI can see killing myself, maybe.โ
The next time you reach for him is to hit his forehead. A crisp smack resounds around the barren lecture hall. Hyunjin cusses into his seat cushion.
โSeems like a great candidate to me,โ Seungmin muses, and the warm smile he gives you mirrors onto your face before you can think better of it. God, itโs pretty. You wonder how it would feel pressed against your own.
Hyunjin is now completely out of sight and halfway onto the floor. โI miss when you didnโt come to class, Seungmin.โ
Eighty minutes later, youโve just emerged from the classroom when Seungmin calls out to you. You come to such a sudden halt that Hyunjin almost trips over you, but you barely notice him stumble, utterly enraptured by the hand Seungmin brings to the strands of hair by your ear, the fingers that dust your cheek as they pluck a small piece of lint from out of the tresses.
โSorry.โ He flicks it away with a sheepish smile. โI couldnโt unsee it.โ
You manage to thank him just before your whole body ceases to function. Hyunjin sidesteps the two of you, yawning.
Seungmin excuses himself not too long after you reach the main quad. You also turn to leave, sparing Hyunjin a curt farewell in the process. He hooks his pointer finger around the handle at the top of your backpack and lugs you backwards with infuriating ease.
โI didnโt like that at all,โ you say.
โI donโt care. I have something to tell you.โ
โYou have a kid, donโt you?โ
โWhaโhuh? Who do you think I am?โ
โThe one-night-standโs poster child. The champion of the contraception industry.โ
โYeah, contraception industry. Itโs right there in the name.โ
You canโt argue with that. โWhat do you have to tell me?โ
A shadow of hesitation flits across Hyunjinโs face. Your smile falters. Is it possible that youโre about to have a serious conversation with him for the first time? Maybe you shouldโve saved the secret son bit for another time.
โIโm failing anthro.โ
So much for a serious conversation.ย
โCome again?โ
He repeats the mystifying statement.
โYouโre joking.โ The look on his face says otherwise, though, and your eyebrows disappear into your hair. โYouโre failing anthro?โ
โI just said that, yes.โ
โYouโre failing anthropology?โ
โMhm.โ
โJust so weโre clearโyouโre failing Introduction to Cultural Anthropology?โ
โYes. Iโm glad youโre having fun.โ
This is the best day of your life. โI didnโt even know that was possible.โ
โYeah, well, our professor has no media literacy,โ he mutters.
โWhat?โ
โNothing.โ Hyunjin clears his throat. โAnyways, I was thinkingโโ
โWow! Congratulations. Thatโs a bigโoomfโโ
Hyunjin puts his entire hand over your face. Your mangled noises of protest go unacknowledged.
โI was thinking,โ he continues, pushing your head around like a stick shift, โyou and I can work out some kind of deal.โ
You shove his wrist off you with a revolted groan. โI think I just ate some athletic tape.โ
โHappens. You wanna hear the deal or not?โ
โDoes it involve ingesting more sports equipment?โ
โDo you want it to?โ
โJust tell me the deal, boy.โ
โAlright.โ He takes a deep breath. โIf you help me pass this class, Iโll set you up with Seungmin.โ
Your head performs a triple-axel on your neck. You are unable to respond for what feels like multiple hours. Finally: โIโm gonna need you to elaborate.โ
โOn which part?โ
โAll of them. Everything.โ
Hyunjin sighs, then scans the courtyard. His gaze settles on the student union a little ways off. โAre you hungry?โ
You pick up a sandwich and a smoothie in a state of nervous stupor. One would think itโs the prime minister youโre about to have lunch with and not an imbecilic left-side hitter eating from three different entrees at the same time.
Heโs chosen a table a few yards away from a planter of flowering cherry blossom trees. You feel jealous eyes on the side of your face as you take a seat across from Hyunjin, but they donโt know that his telephone pole legs still bump against yours even with them drawn as close to your body as anatomically possible. Or that heโs drawing up a literal Ponzi scheme on your sandwich wrapper. You wager youโve had better company.
โYou like anthropology. I like listening to you talk about anthropology.โ He traces over the wrapperโs left corner. โAnd I kinda want you to boss me around. That weird?โ
โYes, definitely,โ you mumble around a mouthful of bread. โGo on.โ
โConclusion one: you should be my tutor.โ He taps in place as if applying a finishing touch, then swaps to the opposite side. โYou also like my teammate, but heโs neck-deep in volleyball and music this semester, which makes him hard to get a hold ofโfor most people.โ
โLet me guess. Not for you.โ
โTen points to Ravenclaw.โ His British accent is nightmarish. โSeung and I live in the same building. We get dinner when we go back from practice together. Conclusion two: you should come with us.โ
โTo dinner or to practice?โ
โTo both. Which brings us to my third and final conclusionโโ
He slams a fist onto the center of the wrapper.
โโyou should manage our team.โ
โI knew it!โ You slam the table as well, your smoothie wobbling upon impact. โYouโre trying to swindle me! You canโt pay for my labor with more labor. What do you take me for?โ
โItโs not labor, dumbass! Ask our last manager! He didnโt do shit!โ
โYeah? Who was your last manager?โ
โMe!โ
Oh, right. โBut you hated it!โ
โI hate everything that isnโt playing volleyball. Try again.โ
You fold your arms over your chest. โYou said youโd kill yourself if I managed you.โ
Hyunjin starts balling up your sandwich wrapper. โItโs true. I thought about you and my coach getting along and promptly got a rash. But it makes so much sense: you do whatever you want during practice, tutor me afterwards, and then you and Seung can eyefuck over ramen or something. My coach hops off my dick, you hop on Seungโsโโ
โSTOP!โ A girl drops her receipt not too far away, startled by your outburst. โStop right there. I get it. Stop.โ
โItโs a good plan.โ He slings the paper ball towards the nearest trash can. It drops into the hole without so much as a brush against the rim. โYou know it is.โ
Youโre loath to admit that you do. โWhen did you even come up with all this?โ
He flicks a thumb in the direction of your anthropology class. No fucking wonder heโs failing.
โWhat is this, mock trial?โ
The owner of this voice is the third man youโve seen today donning that navy windbreaker, white long-sleeve combo. He has a face that reminds you of your neighborโs cat from back home, sleek and sharp and only slightly sinister. Thereโs a dash of humor in his expression as he approaches your table like heโs enjoying the company of a court jester.
โSlamming tables like fuckinโ tariff lawyers,โ the cat-man hums, lifting a hand in Hyunjinโs direction. โI could see it from all the way inside.โ
โCaptain!โ Hyunjin crows, dabbing him up without missing a beat. They really do that like breathing. โJust the man I was hoping to see.โ
โReally? I thought youโd be avoiding me like the rest of our homunculus team.โ
โI would never.โ
โYou did. Yesterday. When you saw me and started running in the opposite direction.โ He pauses for emphasis. โAs fast as possible.โ
โWell, that was yesterday. Today is a new day.โ Hyunjin tosses you a proud glance. โAnd today, I bring you a new team manager.โ
You stiffen. โI havenโtโโ
โIs that so!โ When the stranger smiles at you, you feel the same satisfaction you did every time the cat let you scratch her on the chin. โMusic to my ears. Whatโs your name, cutie?โ
You catch Hyunjinโs eye across the table; he nods enthusiastically as if saying go on, then. You briefly picture yourself strangling him with his own athletic tape. You then picture yourself hopping on Seungminโsโ
Rigidly, you throw a hand out to the cat-man, your face aflame.
โY/N,โ you grumble. โIโm looking forward to working with you.โ
He shakes on it heartily. โLikewise. Iโm Minho. Welcome to the team.โ
โYes, welcome to the team,โ Hyunjin parrots, looking positively jolly. You gnash your teeth together so hard your jaw throbs.
Heโs lucky that his proposal holds so much water. Heโs lucky that you donโt plan to strangle him until after you try that eyefucking thing.
You do kick him under the table, though.
The team has five weeks to prepare for the Korean University League, the biggest college-level volleyball tournament in the country. You have five days to learn how the hell athletic tape works. You canโt tell which is the bigger endeavor.
โIโm going to cause him irreversible skeletal damage,โ you tell Changbin.
The teamโs libero is twice as kind as he is talented, a full-time sweetheart working part-time at the universityโs sports medicine clinic. Only your first week on the job and youโve already decided heโs the only person on Earth you would permit to usher you through the gym at 6:45 A.M., a roll of athletic tape pressed to your back like a pistol.
โYou will not,โ Changbin answers. โOne, because this wonโt involve his skeleton, and two, because I wouldnโt ask you to help if it did.โ
โYouโve misunderstood me,โ you return as the two of you stop in front of an examination room. โI want to cause him irreversible skeletal damage.โ
โOh.โ He opens the door with a frown. โOh dear.โ
Inside, Hyunjin is sitting cross-legged on top of a taping table, fitted in a loose gray tee and athletic shorts. He watches in pessimistic silence as you enter the room and beeline straight towards the shelf on the right. You slip a thick binder into your hands and bury your nose inside it without so much as a greeting.
โI am going to get maimed,โ Hyunjin tells Changbin.
โHave some faith, both of you,โ Changbin replies sternly. You find the pages youโre looking for and begin poring over them like youโre cramming for an exam. โYouโll be fine, Jinnie. Y/N studied.โ
โStudied?โ He repeats. โFor this?โ
โIโm pretty sure Quizlets were made.โ
โThree, to be exact," you interject, sticking out your hand. โNow tape me.โ
Hyunjin mouths the words tape me in baffled silence. The latter obliges your request with a smile. โSee? What could go wrong?โ
The answer to that, actually, is a lot. Especially after Changbin gets called away to help stretch out a teammate named Felix who allegedly โsprained his ass,โ leaving Hyunjin to you and your binder.
You detect no smoky rose in the air around him today, just the subtle smells of cedar and cypressโlaundry detergent or shampoo, maybe. Figures he doesnโt wear that insufferable cologne to practice.
โGo easy on me, yeah?โ
While Hyunjinโs tone is teasing, yours is downright somber.
โI canโt promise anything.โ
With that, you turn your palms face-up in a silent request for his hand.
A few strands of hair fall into your face as you lean in for a better look. Itโs the first time youโve seen his fingers untaped; theyโre pretty, long and slender and surprisingly manicured, but also battered in their delicacy, the veins running over the back of his hand and forearm prominent, his bottom knuckles discolored from the healing bruises they bear. His hard work is palpable upon the smooth skin as evidently as if tattooed.
Hyunjin says your name in close proximity. You respond with an absent hum.
โYouโre not nervous, are you?โ
โNo. Maybe a little.โ You let his hand fall free and go to rummage for supplies. โFine, yes. Very.โ
โBut you made Quizlets. Youโre prepared for anything.โ
โThatโs what Iโm saying!โ You realize only after spotting the gentle smile on his face that heโs making fun of you. โI hate you.โ
โActually,โ he hums, โI think you care about me, love. Thatโs why youโre nervous.โ
โNonsenseโI care about disappointing Changbin. Thatโs it.โ
โAnd me. And hopping on Seungminโs dick. All these things donโt have to be mutually exclusive.โ
You try to tackle him. Hyunjin catches your hands a few inches away from his face, fingers closing around your wrists with obnoxious agility.
โHave you lost your mind?โ You whisper-shout, your face on fire. โDonโt bring that up here. Iโll maim you for real.โ
The laugh that explodes out of him throws his entire body backwards, turns his eyes to crescent moons and his mouth into a little rectangle. You hate that you donโt hate when that happens.
โMy bad, my bad. It slipped out. I wonโtโโ
One incremental shift of Hyunjinโs body later, you find that youโre precariously, alarmingly close to one another.
So much so that you notice the mole beneath his left eye for the first time, that you're nearly cross-eyed looking at it. That the tip of your nose actually brushes against his before you pull away with a quiet intake of breath.ย
Things are awkward between you often, youโve realized recently. Youโre both professional yappers, always quick to digress, quick to find a new topic to bicker about before the awkwardness marinates. But hours later youโll look back on the interaction and still remember how the air shifted: like a layer of dust had been blown away and something untouched and unknown was discovered just underneath.
Since youโve met him, Hyunjin has spent more time on your nerves than on your mind. Youโre not exactly losing sleep over such a circumstantial acquaintance; you know that his presence in your life will end the way it began, naturally and anticlimactically and inside the ANTH 111 lecture hall. Still, it doesnโt go unnoticed when your heart and stomach launch into an elaborate gymnastics routine in the wake of something he says or does, just as theyโre doing now.
Hyunjin glances into your right eye a moment, then your left. The mole just below his left eye disappears when he smiles, the expression soft, saccharine, and sincere. How anyone casually looks the way he does is beyond your abilities of comprehension.
โThank you,โ he murmurs.
Your face continues to burn, now perhaps for different reasons. โWhat for?โ
He lets go of your wrist, sweeps the lock of hair that keeps getting in your eyes behind the cuff of your ear.
โCaring about me.โ
Then he flicks your forehead. You recoil with a quiet ow.
โNow stop stalling and tape me, dumbass.โ
โOkay,โ you mutter, rubbing the injury tenderly. โNo need to get violent.โ
It turns out the arduous taping procedure described in the instruction manual is for serious hand injuries. Hyunjin splints his fingers together for support, not rehabilitation, so it takes all of five minutes for him to talk you through his process. You finish taping both of his hands with nineteen minutes to spare. So maybe the Quizlets were overkill.
As youโre walking him down to practice, you take his hand and lift it to eye level, scanning your craftsmanship dubiously. โItโs not too tight, is it?โ
โItโs perfect.โ He swivels the hand around and grabs onto your entire face, the sensation by now eerily familiar. โWant another taste?โ
You shove him down the stairs that remain. Unfortunately, there are only two. โYou are truly grotesque.โ
The gym has come to life since you arrived earlier this morning, now illuminated by shining ceiling lights in addition to the sun spilling through high, narrow windows. Most of the team has yet to step onto the court, still stretching or jogging along the sidelines: Minho and Coach Bang are talking strategy on the bench, the coach taking notes on a handheld whiteboard every now and then; Changbin is leaning over a recumbent Felix below the scoreboard, presumably trying to fix his ass.
The only one already with a ball in hand is Seungmin, setting to himself by the net. Once, twice, thrice straight up in the air, and then he glances in your direction and sends the fourth towards the left side of the court in a buoyant arc.
You only glean bits and pieces of the next few seconds. Hyunjin is at your side one moment, making a break for the net the next. His arms draw backwards in perfect synchrony. Feet hit the floor with laserlike intent. His entire body unravels like a fraying chrysalis as he rises to meet the ball, pounds it over the net and into the ground at an angle so clean that the sound of its landing resounds within your ribcage. It rebounds over the railing of the second floor and barely misses the doorway of the examination room you just emerged from.
Hyunjin drops lightly back onto his feet, following the ballโs tumultuous trajectory with proud eyes. A leftover breeze tosses a strand of hair over the bridge of your nose, and time starts moving again.
โOi, this isnโt your backyard! Go pick that up!โ Their coach booms, though his words lack their usual bitterness after what he just witnessed his ace hitter do.
Hyunjin swivels towards Seungmin first. โCrazy bitch. What the fuck was that?โ
โLower and faster. Further from the net too,โ Seungmin returns. โHowโd it feel?โ
The grin on Hyunjinโs face reminds you of a wildfire, untamed and all-consuming and frightening in its fervor. โLike we just won everything.โ
He tousles your hair as he jogs past you and back up the stairs to fetch the volleyball. Seungmin waves at you with one hand and palms another ball into his other. His face is warm and bare, his slim build flattered by his volleyball gear. Youโve witnessed few people so nice to look at and even fewer things as elegant as his setting form. But you are still thinking about Hyunjinโand you canโt move.
It is debilitating, watching somebody do the very thing they were destined for.
A little less than a week later, Hyunjin is approaching hour three of spewing hot garbage into a Word document when he decides to give up and call you.ย
โHello?โ He immediately starts laughing. โWhere the fuck are you?โ
You poke the top of your head into the shot of your ceiling, gesturing to your headband. โMy face is preoccupied at the moment.โ
โOh, you have to show me. Please.โ
You flip your phone up for no more than half a second. A camera shutter goes off, followed by a shriek so loud that it peaks your mic.
โMotherfucker!โ
He basically sprints to his camera roll. His prize: you with your face slathered in cleanser, hair pinned back by a Miffy headband, looking like the abominable snowman if he liked cute merchandise.
โThank you,โ he says earnestly. โIโll treasure this forever.โ
โYouโll be punished, Hwang.โ
โDonโt threaten me with a good time.โ
You brandish your middle finger at him in response. He props his phone up against his computer screen with a chuckle.ย
โAaanyways, I have a thesis statement to run by you.โ
The first thing you did as Hyunjinโs tutor was help draft an email to Professor Kim, begging her to let him resubmit the two essays he royally botched. She replied with a lengthy quotation from her syllabus, specifically the section that talked about (and prohibited) resubmissions, but ended up making an exception for Hyunjin on account of the โtruly piteous timbreโ of his email. You fell out of your chair laughing when he read you her response.
โYou shouldโve opened with that.โ
โI tried, hello? Someone distracted me!โ
โRead. It. Before I change my mind.โ
You spend a few minutes at most on the thesis itself, advising him to avoid passive voice, answer the prompt, establish a refutable argument, the works. Then he asks you a question about the research topic itself, allusions to the afterlife in Ancient Egyptian artwork, and the tutoring session takes a turn into what feels like a podcast episode.
You talk about the God of Death, Anubis, and his connections to the underworld; the elaborate, lavish funerary rituals intended to ensure the souls of the dead traveled safely; the vibrant murals that flanked their final resting spots as pictorial requests for divine protection. And you talk about them all with such confidence, such eloquence, that itโs as if youโre leading him through a history museum rather than talking to your phone as you do your skincare. He could listen to you for hours. He does, actually.
Around 1 A.M., Hyunjin stops typing mid-sentence when you come into frame for the first time, collapsing into your bed with a sigh of relief. Your eyes are soft and sleepy as they blink at your screen, strands of damp hair clinging to your cheeks. He feels his heart physically shift inside his ribcage when your mouth stretches into a yawn. It is the same sensation as the time you shot him a smile over your shoulder and he couldnโt move for ten minutes.
With that, his attention span has run its course.
โBaby,โ he interrupts gently. โLetโs stop here, okay? You seem tired.โ
You open your mouth as if to protest, only to yawn again.
โI suppose I am. Will you keep working tonight?โ
โI think so. I hit my stride.โ
โText me if you have questions, then. Iโll respond when I wake up.โ
โOkay.โ
โOkay.โ
Your lips curve into the smallest of smiles. It copies onto Hyunjinโs face incurably quickly.ย
โI had my doubts about this tutoring thing, you know.โ
โWhy is that?โ
โWell, you told me this class was the closest thing to daily naptime youโd experienced since preschool.โ
โIt really is.โ
โYou also told me you would rather slam your tongue in a car door than read more than three sentences in one sitting.โ
โI really would.โ
โAnd you once referred to academia as โVirgin Village.โโ
โDidnโt you come up with that?โ
โNo, hello? I live in that village.โ
He grins. โI know. I just wanted to hear you admit it.โ
โFuck you.โ
โAh, donโt threaten me with a goodโโ
โWhat Iโm trying to say is that I didnโt think you would take this seriously, but Iโm happy to be proven wrong.โ
Hyunjin leans back. โWell, turns out I might give a fuck about anthropology after all.โ
โReally?โ
โNo.โ
You pretend to punch him through the screen. Itโs so cute that he forgets to think before he opens his mouth next.
โBut I do give a fuck about you.โ
Thereโs nothing crazy about the statement. Youโre friends, sort of. You manage his team. It would be strange if he didnโt. But the seconds that follow are terrible, a silent prophecy of something disastrous, like a cloud of rubble before an avalanche, the standstill during a starโs final breath. And Hyunjinโs heartbeat is hounding against his ears like a performance of traditional taiko.
He says good night in a haste. The call ends. He stares at the wall of his bedroom in a muddled haze for who knows how long.
Then he opens his texts.
Hyunjin:
We have team bonding tomorrow btw
Hyunjin:
Donโt forget
Y/N:
i forgot.
Y/N:
pick me up at 6:45?
Hyunjin:
๐ซก
He picks you up at 7:53.
You approach his car with your fists balled and your eyebrows knitted together like a mean old curmudgeon and heโs walking too close to your lawn.
โHis fault,โ Hyunjin says before you start yelling.
Minho simpers at you through his open window. โHey, you! So glad you could join us!โ
You fix the man with a judgmental glare as you slide into the backseat. โArenโt you the captain? Why are you this late?โ
โWhoa, okay. I wouldโve scheduled this for earlier if I knew right now was honesty hour.โ
โYou did schedule it for earlier,โ you say. โYou scheduled it for way earlier.โ
โYeah, well, youโre fired.โ
โYou canโt fire me, Minho.โ
โI can too. Tell โem, Hwang.โ
โI want nothing to do with this.โ
When you step through the doors of the arcade, youโre met with a surge of sensory input that you havenโt experienced in years. The air hangs thick with the smells of greasy concessions; everywhere you look are flashing screens and neon signs, stuffed animals and fading posters; clamoring against your ears are the sounds of games being won or lost, of balls being pocketed or launched, and of a horde of fully grown men spectating a match of Dance Dance Revolution so passionately (and loudly) that theyโve scared everyone away from that side of the room. You recognize the current competitors as Changbin and Jeongin.
โIโll go pay,โ Hyunjin says. โHow much time do we want?โ
โInfinity,โ Minho answers. Hyunjin doesnโt move. โTwo hours.โ
He flashes him a thumbs-up. โAnd you?โ
โIโm okay, I think.โ
โNo youโre not,โ the two men answer in perfect unison.
You glance between them warily. โI donโt mind watching, seriously. I donโt even know how most of these games workโโ
โThereโs Tetris,โ Hyunjin cuts in.
You purchase an hour.
One would imagine the point of the evening is to break the SNU menโs volleyball team, not to bond them. Youโve never seen so many strained blood vessels in your life. Nor have you heard of half the insults they spew at each other as the night goes on. Felix has to pay a fee for lodging an air hockey puck in the side of the MarioKart machine. Changbin loses at skee-ball and has to down an XL slushie like itโs a shot. Itโs a scary amount of boyishness expressed in scary ways.
But theyโre happy. Youโve picked up on it when theyโre on the court, noticed the raw elation they emanate just from playing together. Yet, their closeness has never been more evident to you than tonight. The men are either laughing or making someone else laugh, arms draped over each other at all times, equally happy to celebrate victories as theyโre eager to punish losses. It dawns on you at some point that youโre glad to be here with them, grateful to be a part of something so specialโespecially because thereโs Tetris.
โHave you ever considered going pro?โ Hyunjin asks over your shoulder.
You waited until most of the team was distracted to slink off to your beloved machine. Hyunjin tagged along, undoubtedly with the intention of making fun of you, only to be rendered speechless by your mastery. Heโs been watching in a state of stupor, forearms propped against the back of your chair.
You donโt respond for a while, too focused on a precarious patch to even blink, let alone partake in conversation.
โI already did,โ you finally answer.
โSorry, what? You played professional Tetris?โ
โIn middle school. Then I got bored and switched to backgammon.โ You pause. โThen I got bored again and switched to chess.โ
โHow do you look like this with these hobbies?โ
Your run ends a few minutes later with a somber sound effect. You turn around in your seat with an anguished groan. โI think Iโm washed.โ
He looks at you like youโve lost your mind. โYou just set a new record by three hundred thousand points.โ
โItโs a small pond,โ you say, and an idea occurs to you. โDo you wanna try?โ
โI get the feeling I donโt have a choice.โ
โThen youโre smarter than you look.โ
โWell, you lookโโ
His eyes move between your shoes and your face, and then his voice is an inaudible mutter as he sinks into your seat. You think you hear something along the lines of unfair.
โWhat was that?โ
โUgly. I said you look ugly.โ He cracks his knuckles. โNow letโs break some fuckin' blocks.โย
When Hyunjin learns that the pieces can be rotated (so six or seven attempts later), a man walks into the arcade.ย
He has hair the color of dark chocolate, the face of a fairy princeโand heโs with someone. The two of them appear arm in arm, laughing at something he said. He looks at this person the way astronomers do to the sky.
Something shatters inside you like old porcelain.
Your hands loosen around the back of Hyunjinโs chair. You canโt watch. You canโt think. You can only feel a void of disappointment rip open, stretch over you like an elongating shadow.
โSeung!โ Thatโs Jisung, you think. โYou made it!โ
โYo, sorry weโre late.โ Thatโs Seungmin. That is undoubtedly Seungmin. โDinner took longer than I thought.โ
โMin, are you sure Iโm allowed to be here?โ You donโt know who this voice belongs to and youโre not sure you want to. โI feel like Iโm intrudingโโ
โHwang,โ you say suddenly. โI have to go.โ
He turns around, confused. An unattended block falls into a terrible spot on the screen behind him. โAlready?โ
โI forgot I had an important call to make.โ You turn away, training your eyes on the patterned carpet. โSorry. Iโll see you around.โ
You have touched Hyunjinโs hands many times. Heโs asked you to tape his fingers every day since the first; he likes the way you cut off his circulation, says it helps him hit harder. But you never hold his hand so much as you examine it, the act stiff and unfeeling, cordoned within the professional pretense of athletic treatment.ย
Now, Hyunjin catches your hand like a gardener repotting their favorite flower: delicately, careful of leaving its roots intact and petals untouched, but firmly, securely, so the flower continues to stand tall even when itโs been extracted from the soil, not even a speck of dirt slipping through the cracks between their fingers. That is the image you conjure when he slips his between yours, his metal rings cold where his fingertips are warm.
He says your name. There is a pinch of pain in the word, and you know that he knows.
โDo you want to be alone?โ
You have never been asked such a thingโyou have never asked to be asked such a thingโbut, for some reason, the question brings tears to your eyes.ย
โYes, please,โ you whisper, and you pull your hand away.
When you stalk past him, you hear Jisung notice you, call out to you, a note of worry in his question. You also count three pairs of eyes on your back: one concerned, the next confused, and the last you are wholly incapable of meeting.ย
Unknown to you is the fourth pair fixed upon the top of the Tetris machine, where youโve left your phone.
You emerge into the parking lot. The frigid air stills your mind for a fraction of a second, the last moment of mental quietude you will allow yourself that night.
Hyunjinโs right; the team manager doesnโt have to do much.
Coach Bang allows you to come to whichever practices and games you feel like, during which you might at most lug around a ballbag or fill someoneโs waterbottle before holing up somewhere to do your own thing. But you like the people you work for too much to do so little for them, so you attend everythingย your schedule allows.ย
Last week, you could be found helping Minho put up the volleyball nets before practice, your laughter echoing throughout the spacious gym as he complained to you about his biochemistry professorโs distinct โcabbage scent.โ Or running to grab materials for Changbin as he treated his teammatesโ injuries like you were assisting an orthodontist giving someone a root canal. The dinner invitations you extended to Seungmin were always turned down, but his teammates were more than happy to assist you and Hyunjin in your quest to establish the best kimbap joint in the area once and for all. You even had a heart-to-heart with Coach Bang during one of the teamโs water breaks, in which you managed to get half a smile out of the guy; Hyunjin was convinced that was his way of asking you to elope. You spent more time in the gymnasium those ten days than you had your entire college career.
Then came the arcade.
Five days have come and gone. You havenโt attended practice since, but you still see Hyunjin every morning at anthropology. The two of you sit in uncharacteristic silence for most of the lectures. Youโve taken the best notes of your life. He doesnโt mention the previous weekend; he doesnโt mention much of anything.ย
In person, that is.
That Friday afternoon, youโre reading on the terrace of the library when you receive a text. Itโs from Hyunjin, a two-minute voice note. You hesitate for a moment, stick a pencil into the gutter of your textbook to save your place, and slip your earbuds in. You listen to it.
Then you listen to it again.
And again as you wrap up your study session and go home. Again as you cook yourself dinner and load the dishwasher. Again as you shrug on a jacket and pocket your keys, setting off on the familiar trek to the gym.
As for what you plan to do there on a Friday night, long after the team has finished practice, you havenโt the slightest clue. You continue to move regardless, fueled by the feeling that there is where you need to be.
Coach Bang is leaving the building just as youโre approaching it. He halts in his footsteps and raises his eyebrows when he notices you. The man has always been difficult to read, but his face is exceptionally opaque now. Maybe itโs the shadowy landscape; more likely itโs the uneasiness that began to mount within you once you noticed the lights in the gym were still on.
โItโs been a while,โ he greets.
โCoach,โ you return, lowering your head. โI want to apologize forโโ
โSave it,โ he says, not unkindly. โThereโs nothing to apologize for, alright? The team is lucky to have you.โ
You manage a grateful smile. โIโll be back starting next week.โ
โIโm glad to hear it.โ He starts to walk away, stops himself, and glances into the illuminated building. โI would give him some space, by the way.โ
Your uneasiness morphs into anxiety as you watch his broad back retreat into the shadows. You remain outside the gym for a few minutes more, accompanied by the distant melodies of cricket chorales and the muffled squeaking of shoes against laminated hardwood, the harsh sounds of flesh meeting leather.
Briskly, you walk home, rummage around, and return to the gym ten minutes later with your textbook tucked beneath your arm. This time, you unlock and enter the building without a moment of hesitation.ย
Hyunjin is positioned multiple yards behind the service line, rotating a volleyball in his hands. A high toss, two resounding steps, and a collision like the crack of a whip. The previous ball has barely landed in the furthest corner of the court when heโs picking up the next, retreating to the same spot to do it all again. His tank top is the color of charcoal over his sweaty skin, his hair auburn where itโs plastered to his neck. Heโs alone.
You only catch sight of Hyunjinโs face when you descend the stairs. His expression is crystalline, hardened with concentration and fortified by courage, but fragile all at once, rendered delicate by fatigue and fear, spilling from his every seam and splintering off his person like a broken vase. You recognize it as clearly as if you were looking at a picture of yourself from the worst years of your life.
โI was told to give you space,โ you call out, and Hyunjin drops the volleyball heโs holding.
His lips fall apart. Nothing comes out of them. The only sounds to follow are your footsteps as you make your way towards the bleachers, a vertical wall of plastic now that theyโve been retracted for the night. You fold your legs into a criss-cross as you take a seat at their base.
โIs this enough space?โ
More silence. You gesture to the volleyball nervously.
โDonโt make me go further, please. Iโm not ready to die.โ
Finally, this earns you a smile. Itโs not much, but it loosens the nervous coils in your heart, permits your lungs to contract once more, and it remains on his face as he swipes the ball back into his hands. You open your textbook.
The rest of the night elapses in turning pages and soaring volleyballs. You donโt care for minutes or hours; you give him all the time in the world, as he did you.
The only time you glance at the clock on the wall is around midnight, when Hyunjin hobbles to the middle of the court and collapses. Youโre worried at first. Then he rolls onto his back and releases a guttural groan into his hands, and your held breath comes out a laugh. You set down your book and stand up.
Thereโs a lake of perspiration forming around him. You pay it no mind and flop onto the floor, your eyes instantly narrowing beneath the fluorescent lights.ย
โHow do you see under these things?โ
โI donโt,โ he returns. โI complained about it to Coach once.โ
โAnd?โ
โHe made them brighter.โ Sounds about right.
Hyunjin spends the next few minutes catching his breath, his chest rising and falling in your peripheral vision. You sift through your mind for phrases of consolation or gestures of support and come up empty. You wish you had Hyunjinโs way with words.
But you think about the way his smile reached his eyes as he thanked you for caring about him, the tenderness with which he caught your hand at the arcade, the I give a fuck about you he blurted before ending the study call. You think about the voice note. Itโs not that Hyunjin has a way with words; itโs that heโs brave enough to break the silences that you canโt, like he perceives your anxiety for the aftermath, shouldering the responsibility so you wonโt have to.
This cannot be his burden alone.
You inhale. โWhatโs on your mind?โ
Hyunjin doesnโt answer right away. You give up on squinting and close your eyes. The lights are still bright enough to dance around the murky darkness.
โI donโt think I know how to put it into words.โ
You nearly laugh; you know how that feels. โDonโt think, just talk. Iโm here.โ
The same advice you gave yourself seems to work on him as well.
โDo you remember Ishikawa Yuki?โ
His role model.
โHeโs currently playing for a club team in Italy called Allianz Milano.โ He blows out a deep breath. โIโve been talking to their coach, Roberto Piazza, for the last six months.โ
The gears in your head creak in their effort to process the implications of these words. โHoly shit, Hwang.โ
โHe emailed again, this morning. Said he was coming to the tournament later this month, heโs excited to see me play in person, whatever. And it hit me, finally, that this is all real. Like, this is actually happening to me. I spent all of today freaking out and asked Coach to let me stay back after practice. Usually, it wears out my brain if I tire my body, but it only half-worked today. I couldnโt wrap my head around anything. I still canโt.
โI am who I am because of that man, and nowโฆI have a shot at playing with him. I keep asking myself why Iโm notโnot happier. I should be bouncing off the fucking walls, no? If I told my past self that this would be happening to him one day, heโhe wouldโโ
You open your eyes, confused by the sudden silence.
Hyunjin is sitting up next to you, staring intensely into the bleachers. You first notice the tip of his tongue prodding into his cheek, then his shuddering breath. He lifts a hand to his face, pressing against his eyes.
You stop thinking after that.
You sit up with him. When you settle your fingers around his wrist, he allows you to pull his hand back to his side. But he turns away as if trying to hide from you; he squeezes his eyes shut as if that would obstruct your view of his pain.
You reach to cradle his face, bringing him back to you. The cuff of your sleeves wipe at the saltwater on his cheeks, push the hair off his forehead with gentle sweeps. The two of you are close, close enough that your lips would meet the space between his eyes if you so much as lost your balance. His gaze traverses to your face, but you resolve not to meet it. You know you will traipse into uncharted territory the moment you do.
โDonโt fight it.โ You trace over the hill of his cheek. โHealing becomes easier if you let yourself hurt. Trust me, Hyunjin.โ
His first name should feel foreign on your tongue, yet you suspect the syllables have accompanied you all your life.
โYou donโt have to continue if you canโt.โ
โSโokay.โ Hyunjin lifts your hand away from his face, presses a kiss to the base of your palm. โI want to.โ
You feel yourself stumble ungracefully into the uncharted territory from before; does he do the same?
โI used to play volleyball on this expanse of cracked blacktop, behind my primary school. It was pretty brutal on my feetโI blew through so many different pairs of sneakers my mom almost made me quit.โ He smiles at the memory. โBut every time I came close to quitting, Iโd go home and rewatch the same USA vs. Poland match from the 2008 Summer Olympics I asked my dad to record, and Iโd promise myself it would be me on some other kidโs screen someday.
โThat kid would tell everyone whoโd listen about how cool I am. That Iโm a secret superhero. That Iโm living proof humans can fly if they really, really tryโjust like I talked about the volleyball players I grew up watching on my TV.
โThe other day, Coach told me that hope would consume me. I thought it was just some senile drivel at the time, but..I think I get what he means now. I would do anything and everything to make that kid proudโeven if it meant losing myself.โ He lowers his head, auburn strands falling into his eyes. โThatโs whatโs on my mind.โ
Amidst the ensuing pause, a storm approaches. It does not come in the form of rain or snow, sleet or hail, no; it is a gathering of words unsaid and emotions unacknowledged, all emerging from the deepest chambers of your heart in synchrony. The same entities you used to scapegoat for all the times things were awkward between you and Hyunjin when you were the culprit all along. You and your blind cowardice.
The storm tears open the seam of your lips. You do not resist; itโs long overdue.
โEvery time Changbin sees you, he turns into a smitten schoolgirl,โ you say. โHe is physically unable to contain how endearing he finds you. He told me so himself.โ
Hyunjin looks at you with widened eyes. You think you can see your own reflection in them, and you are the spitting image of a lighter dropped into gasoline, unstoppable in your vehemence.
โJeongin comes to you for advice before anyone else,โ you continue, โeven for things related to schoolโwhich I still find hard to believe, Iโm not gonna lie. But you have his best interests in mind, and it shows in everything you do for him. Of course your opinion matters more than anything in the world.
โI know you think he canโt stand you, but you are the reason Coach Bang loves this job, why he loves this sport. Itโs written all over his face every time he calls you something mean, every time he makes you run another lap, every time he looks at you. Youโre like a son to him. Everyone sees it but you.โ
โThen thereโs me.โ You pause to catch your breath. โWhen I think about what my life used to be, I remember a lot of things. I remember loneliness. Insecurity. I remember my books and my backgammon boards and the way I taught myself to disappear inside them so the world would never find me. I remember avoiding mirrors like a vampire because I didnโt like seeing my own reflection. I remember feeling like I had to put on someone elseโs personality every time I left the house because nobody would want to know me for me. All I ever wanted was a place where I could be myself, love myself, without consequence. I have yet to find that place.
โBut I found a person. Someone who wouldnโt know time and place if they kicked his dick into his body. Someone who thinks instant ramen is high in nutritional value because it comes with dried vegetables. Someone who sweats the same amount of rain the Sahara Desert receives yearlyโyour body is not normal, by the way.โ
Hyunjin giggles; it is soft and short, a small, tearful huff into the quiet air that makes you feel like youโre flying.
โDonโt get me wrong,โ you say. โYour sense of humor sucks and your taste in coffee is so boring and you are the one with no media literacy, not Professor Kim. But I love spending time with you. I love who I am when Iโm around you. And none of that has to do with volleyball.โ
The next time you blink, you discover that heโs not the only one with tears in his eyes. How long has that been going on?
โThereโs so much about you to be proud of, Hyunjin.โ You give him a watery smile. โThat kid will be spoiled for choice.โ
When Hyunjin pulls you into his arms, you fall into each other like going to bed after a long day. Your face burrows into the crook of his neck in your embarrassment; he is laughing and crying at the same time when he mumbles something into your shoulder: โI knew you cared about me.โ
You are so happy for the comedic relief you could sob. It helps that you already are.
โHow the fuck are you still sweaty?โ You choke out, and you think you like his cologne after all.
Six days later, Hyunjin opens the door of his apartment.
A fun-sized flurry of black and white barrages into the hallway outside and almost runs headfirst into the figure waiting there. You fall to your knees like youโve just been gravely wounded, emitting an ear-piercing wail to match. All it takes is a few good head scratches for Kkami to stop yipping bloody murder and start whining for attention instead.ย
Upon minute five of watching you and his dog cuddle in the hallway directly outside his home, Hyunjin sighs.
โCan you come inside, please? My RA will think Iโm doing some freaky shit again.โ
You side-eye him as you walk into his apartment, Kkami perched happily in your arms. โWhat, exactly, does freaky shit entail?โ
He smirks as the door falls shut. โYou want me to tell you or show you?โ
You turn to Kkami, disgusted. โYour ownerโs a bit of a pervert, my dear.โ
Kkami licks you on the chin. Hyunjinโs eyes narrow to slits.
โTraitor.โ
Naturally, Hyunjinโs parents chose the eve of his final anthropology examโand the week before the tournament that will determine the trajectory of his careerโto ask him to look after Kkami for a few days. He nearly canceled their plane tickets himself, but his impromptu roommate is currently ransacking your face with kisses on his couch, and he thinks your laugh complements his studio better than any decoration.ย
โDo you want anything to drink?โ He calls from the kitchen area.
You meander over, Kkami (still) perched happily in your arms. โWhat do you have?โย
โAlcohol.โ He opens his fridge far enough so you can peer over his shoulder. โAmericanos.โ
He stops speaking.
โIs that all?โ
โYes. Waitโand apple juice.โ
โYou are about to be a professional athlete.โ
โWhat the Italians donโt know wonโt hurt them. You want apple juice, donโt you? I can see it in your eyes.โ
โMaybe. Can you open it for me? My hands are full.โ
Hyunjin does so with far less reluctance than he feigns. You thank him jubilantly, popping the straw into your mouth.
โLetโs get this over with.โ
At 10:32 P.M., all is calm. You are sitting on the floor, your back against the side of his mattress. Hyunjin is where the universe intended: curled up in bed, both him and his laptop lying on their sides. You have studied eight out of ten units in only two and a half hours, and the night is still young. Kkami is but a fluffy, sleepy Oreo by your waist.
At 10:33 P.M., the Oreo begins to retch.
You startle a foot into the air. Hyunjin is out of bed and on his feet in the blink of an eye, the very image of a dog dad on duty. He grabs three different things off the kitchen counter with one hand and scoops up the long-haired chihuahua with the other, and then heโs kicking open the door.
Seungmin appears out of thin air carrying two heaping bags of groceries. Hyunjin nearly knocks him and a monthโs worth of fresh produce down four flights of stairs.
โHyunโKkami?โ Seungmin swivels. โYo, what the fuck isโโ
Hyunjin is already out the door.
A few minutes later, Hyunjin squats off to the side, pouring fresh water into a portable dog bowl. A little ways away, Kkami is throwing up ebulliently; a set of footsteps approaches.
โWhat is this thing?โ Seungmin squats down next to Hyunjin, picking up the piece of patterned fabric lying on the grass.ย
โKkami gets sad after throwing up,โ he sighs. โHis blanket makes him feel better.โ
Seungmin watches the chihuahua for a few moments, a soft flinch crimping his features. โHe ate too fast again?โ
Hyunjin rakes a hand through his hair. โI donโt get it. Nobodyโs gonna take his food from him.โ
Seungmin laughs. โI didnโt even know he was on campus.โ
โI picked him up last night. My parents are traveling for workโthey say hi, by the way.โ
โI say hi back. I miss your momโs cooking.โ
โMe too,โ Hyunjin says, smiling. โShe would love to cook for you againโsheโs always saying youโre too skinny.โ
โShe really is.โ
A beat passes; it is then that Hyunjin has an epiphany.
Seungmin was the one who put a volleyball in his hands for the first time. Back then, Hyunjin was the lesser troublemaker between the two of themโa concept that neither of them can wrap their heads around to this day. Seungmin suggested they use the clotheslines in Hyunjinโs backyard as a makeshift net, despite Hyunjinโs dissuading; half of Hyunjinโs fatherโs wardrobe caught on fire, Seungmin had a black eye for a week, and nobody knows what happened to that volleyball. The two of them have been attached at the hip ever since.
It is a crazy thing, having your best friend as a teammate; a singular flick of the wrist or a point of his shoe and Seungmin will know exactly Hyunjin wants the ball down to the netโs fraying fibers; Hyunjin will be exactly where Seungmin needs him down to the flecks of paint on the volleyball court. Hyunjin has always been Seungminโs hitterโSeungmin, always Hyunjinโs setter. Nothing will ever change between them so long as that remains the case.
At least, thatโs what Hyunjin used to think.
Learning that Seungmin was in a relationship was as much a wake-up call for Hyunjin as it was for you. At first, he was just fucking pissed; how could Seungmin be so stupid as to turn down someone like you, especially when Hyunjin had shot his mouth off about his wingman services? More importantly, how long had his best friend of eighteen years been in love, and why was he the last to know?ย
Only now, as they wait for his nine-year-old chihuahua to finish barfing, does Hyunjin realize that he canโt remember the last time he and Seungmin talked. Not โtalkedโ as in a brief exchange inside the locker room or the lecture hall, about a new approach he wants to try or what Seungmin got on number four or if he wants a ride to practiceโโtalkedโ as in talked, about Hyunjin, about Seungmin, about the eighteen years they shared, about all the years yet to come.
Hyunjin sees his setter every day; he stopped looking for his friend a long time ago.ย
โYeonwoo, right?โ
He senses surprise in Seungmin without having to look at him. But he also senses a smile, a subtle show that Seungmin recognizes what heโs trying to doโand forgives him.
โYeonwoo,โ Seungmin affirms. โWeโre in the same songwriting intensive this semester.โ
โAlso a singer?โ
He shakes his head. โPiano player. Performed at the Carnegie Hall in the United States at, like, seven years old. I donโt think Iโve ever met someone so talented.โ
โWow, thatโsโhi, old man. You done?โ
Kkami walks over with his head hung low and tail between his legs, and Hyunjin hurries to drape the pup in his favorite blanket, pulling the bowl of water in front of him in tandem. Seungmin runs a hand over the top of Kkamiโs head as he hydrates.
โYouโve suffered,โ he tells him solemnly, and Hyunjin snorts.
โAs I was sayingโthatโs crazy to hear, coming from the most talented person I know. You guys looked so good together.โ
โThanks. Itโs weird. Iโm happy.โ
โYou deserve it. You really do, Kim.โ They exchange smiles, and Hyunjin gives Seungmin a playful nudge. โWhen are you introducing us?โ
โThe arcade wasnโt enough?โ
โDonโt insult me.โ
โWhenever you want, then.โ
โDinner with my mom, dinner with Yeonwoo,โ Hyunjin recounts. โIโm holding you to it.โ
โBet.โ
They shake on it. If Hyunjin wasnโt already reassured by Seungminโs smile, he knows by his clasp around his hand that theyโll be okay.
โWhat about you?โ Seungmin asks. โAre you together yet?โ
Hyunjin knew this was coming. โWhat do you mean?โ
โYou know what I mean.โ Seungmin strings his hands together, letting them dangle in the space between his knees. โSomeone you have questions for that youโre too scared to ask. Someone whoโs lived in your mind since the day you met. Thereโs someone like that, isnโt there?โ
Hyunjin pokes his tongue into his cheek.ย
Ever since that night on the gym floor, Hyunjinโs been having these dreams. By the time his alarm goes off in the morning, every detail of the dream has eluded him, leaving behind only a ghost of emotion, akin to the breeze that grazes your face moments after walking past another person.
But then heโll get out of bed, and walk to that cafรฉ on the east side of campus, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. There, heโll order a vanilla latte with extra sweetener, then turn around to see you standing five feet away, holding an Americano and trying not to laugh. And heโll just know, with everything in him, that you are where his head goes when heโs not keeping watch.
He still addresses you by the pet names you hate. He still finds any excuse to be close to you; he still pesters you like a child with a crush. But now, he calls you his baby like one wishes on a star; his eyes drift to your lips every time youโre within two feet of each other; he makes fun of your likes and dislikes only because heโs happy to know about them at all. Ever since that night on the gym floor.
Itโs impossible for nothing and everything to change at once. Two people teetering on the precipice of something cannot withstand a gust of wind so powerful. Heโs already hanging off the ledge, losing his grip; where are you?
Next to him, Seungmin lets out a soft laugh. โThere is.โ
Hyunjin doesnโt know what to say.
โIt mightโve been me, at some point,โ he hums, returning his hand to scratch the back of Kkamiโs ears. โBut it has always been you, Hyun.โ
Four floors above them and inside Hyunjinโs place, you are pacing between his fridge and his bed, nervously awaiting his and Kkamiโs return.
Something catches your eye, wide and flat and hung on the wall by his bathroom door. You approach it curiously, your lips pulling into a fond smile the moment you realize all thatโs in front of you.
Many of the photographs are of Hyunjin: him in his preteens, dead asleep in bed while dressed head to toe in volleyball gear, braces visible because his mouth is open; an action shot taken at what mustโve been a U21 match, the South Korean flag stitched into the shoulder of his jersey; him with half a birthday cake in front of him and the rest smeared all over his face. There are headlines, too: Underdog team earns districtโs first high school volleyball state title; Hwang Hyunjin proves himself worthy of โace spikerโ label at South Korea V. Croatia U19 match; Coach Bang โChristopherโ Chan leads Seoul National University to second consecutive KUL championship. Thereโs oneโWho is Hwang Hyunjin? Meet the twenty-year-old instigant of South Koreaโs imminent volleyball revolutionโbeside which heโs written the singular word โmouthful.โ You laugh; you agree.
But pinned to the corkboard is also a photograph of Minho, surrounded by stray cats in the alleyway outside a K-BBQ restaurant; his parents cradling Kkami in an apple costume; his high school volleyball team silhouetted against a pretty sunset. Him and Seungmin as kids, covered in grime and scrapes but beaming nonetheless; him and Seungmin at age nineteen, stadium lights on their backs, unadulterated elation on their faces as they charge towards each other, beaming still. Changbin piggybacking Felix through the hallways of the gym, neither of them wearing a shirt; Jisung offering Coach Bang a beer while the latter looks direly unamused (you make a mental note to ask about that one later); what looks like a Rock Lee cosplayer grimacing in the middle of your anthropology classroom.
You rush forward as if decreed by gravitational force. Not too far away is another picture of you, in which you boast a Miffy headband and a face full of foaming cleanser. Then another, your eyes narrowed like that of a sniper taking aim as youโre playing Tetris; you with so many volleyballs piled into your arms that you canโt see your own face; your cheeks squished by a bandaged hand after you lost a bet about pandas (they can swim); you clutching your stomach on the library floor, brought to hysterical tears by Professor Kimโs email. You, you, you.
You bring your pointer finger to this last image, tracing it over the curve of your own cheek. You see a dimple on your face you didnโt know you had. You realize it only comes out for him.
It has always been him.
The front door opens. A man with telephone poles for legs and a long-haired chihuahua in his arms appears behind it. You sense in him that something has changed since you last saw each other. The two of you lock eyes.ย
Itโs not awkward this time.
Multiple yards behind the service line, Hyunjin is rotating a volleyball in his hands. It feels solid and sentient, an extension of himself held in cotton-clad fingers. He knows how this story will end.
He moves his eyes to his best friendโs back. Four fingers flash back at him twice, signaling a high lob set to the left, the very play theyโve practiced tirelessly for the last five weeks. The breath Hyunjin blows out of his cheeks seems to crystallize in the air, almost solid in all its exhilaration.ย
He bends low and throws high. His arms drop behind his body like a spread of feathered wings; his feet fall into place below him like a meteor shower, two consecutive strikes against the earth that fissure its mantle. The lights overhead are bright. His palm pulls taut when it slams into leather. He knows how this story will end.
The volleyball tears towards the ground. It trembles as if scared by all that it holds: the guarantee of a flawless denouement, the catalyst of a radiant future. Hyunjinโs heart is beating hard enough to crack his ribs when he lands back on the ground, when the volleyball lands in the furthest corner of the court. Heโs not scared at all.
He balls his fingers into fists.
โJUST LIKE LAST YEAR, BACK TO BACK ON AN ACEโโ
An arm seizes Hyunjinโs neck; another drags him onto the floor. His head thuds onto the hardwood with a sound he hears over the whole world detonating. His vision fills with the faces of the people he cares for most, some covered in tears and others rivaling the ceiling with their blinding smiles. He canโt feel most of his body; his sweat drips into his mouth. He doesnโt care. He doesnโt care.
โโDEFENDING THEIR TITLE FOR THE THIRD CONSECUTIVE YEARโโ
His eyes find Seungminโs among the fray. Their hands clap together with such force that Hyunjin cusses at the impact. Seungminโs gaze burns into his with a ferocity that Hyunjin plans to take to his grave. His setter. His best friend.
He says something inaudible, but Hyunjin reads the words off his lips, and his eyes fill with tears: we win everything.
โโYOUR NATIONAL CHAMPIONS: SEOUL NATIONAL UNIVERSITY!โ
Hyunjinโs post-game interview is a lawless affair. He is allowed at most half an answer before a new teammate is barreling over with an animalistic screech or a new friend is screaming congratulations from out of frame.
The reporter is visibly agitated by her final question, unpursing her lips to ask: โIs there anyone youโd like to thank?โ
Hyunjin exhales. โYou want the short answer or the longโโ
Changbin seizes him by the head. Hyunjin bursts into a peal of high-pitched laughter as the libero litters kisses all over his face, nearly crumpling to the floor in his attempt to escape.
โLove you,โ he yells before hurrying off.ย
โLove you too, Bin.โ
Hyunjin turns a sheepish smile to the reporter.
โThe short answer,โ she deadpans.
He starts counting off his fingers. He thanks his familyโhis first and last teammates, his eternal anchors. His other family, his actual teammates, the best boys heโs ever known. His coach, who will let him call him Chris someday. His best friend and setter, Kim Seungmin, who set a clothesline on fire once and changed his life forever.
In the distance, a figure emerges from the locker rooms. Thereโs a navy blue SNU banner draped over your shoulders, two overflowing duffel bags in your hands. Jisung and Jeongin run over to take them from you, and the smile you give them is wide and flushed, a remnant of the elation you shared from afar. The three of you start walking out of the gym.
Hyunjin thanks you.
You didnโt ask for the position, he tells the reporter, but some idiot roped you into it, and theyโre all so grateful that you decided to stick around. You know the team better than they know themselvesโitโs hard to believe youโve been with them for five weeks instead of five years.
What are you like? What arenโt you like, is the better question. Youโre caring, smart, strong; you see so much goodness in the people around you, all while unaware that it is your warmth that brings it out of them. Flowers only bloom in the sunโs doting radius, and so did he.
You have the sort of soul that incurs the scorn of the stars. They are the only ones to deserve you, they'd argue; youโre wasting your potential among humans when you belong to the sky, and theyโd be right.
Hyunjin pokes his tongue into his cheek, suddenly annoyed.
โWhy the fuck am I still talking to you?โย
โPardon?โ The reporter returns, but Hyunjin is already vaulting over the bleachers, making a mad dash for the exit. She gives her cameraman an affronted glare. He shrugs.
He explodes onto the concrete, looking around in a frantic haze.ย He finds the blue banner heading toward the team bus and flanked by his teammates with ease.
He calls out to you.
You glance backwards. Your smile is purely effulgent, your laugh but a faint sigh against the areaโs busy thrum. His heart is pounding against his ribs like a battering ram again, but heโs used to this feeling by now. Jeongin and Jisung make themselves scarce.
Youโre beautiful. God, youโre fucking beautiful. That was the first thought to enter his mind when he spilled an iced Americano on your lap all those months ago and you looked at him like he hailed from another planet. And it is the first thought to enter his mind now, when he runs up to you and cradles your face in his hands, his touch infinitely, impossibly gentle, and you look at him like heโs everything that has ever existed, everything that ever will.ย
Tendrils of your body spray reach him from here, floral and light like a tropical coastline. He couldโve counted your eyelashesโif he didnโt have something far better to do.
โTell me now if you donโt want me to do this,โ he whispers.
A stupid smile crosses the face of the smartest person he knows. โMy lips are sealed.โ
Hyunjin kisses you. He kisses you until the banner around your shoulders is wrinkled under his touch, until your hands are tangled in his hair and aching his scalp, until the breaths you take are breaths you share, passed between your mouths like a puff of smoke before theyโre colliding again.
He kisses you until heโs crying, again, until heโs no longer tasting your lips but your grin, and he kisses you only harder when those scornful stars start to dance before him, for you are his, not theirs, and heโs really won everything, now.
โHwang, I need you in my office.โ
Six months later, Hyunjin sees Coach Bang standing a few yards away with a grim air about him. He stops in his footsteps and glances at his captain, confused.
โI know nothing,โ Seungmin says, walking away. โGood luck!โ
โThanks, cap.โ Hyunjin swears heโs had this exact exchange before.
Head volleyball coach Christopher Bangโs workspace still reminds Hyunjin of a morgue. But there are two picture frames on his desk now: one of his family in front of the Sydney Opera House, the other of a band of boys clad in navy blue, draped over one another in exhausted bliss. The latter lends the room a much-needed sense of vitality. Too bad it still houses a rusty cyborg.
Hyunjin closes the door and takes a seat. Bang taps a knuckle against the tempered glass of his monitor. โRead.โ
From: Nicola Daldello ยซ
[email protected]ยป
To: Bang โChristopherโ Chan ยซ
[email protected]ยป
Subject: Re: Allianz Milano V. Pallavolo Perugia practice game
Christopher,
Allow me to apologize for my delayed response as I shared your request with Chairman Piazza.
It is my great pleasure to inform you that we would love for Mr. Hwang Hyunjin to participate in our practice game versus Pallavolo Perugia. The match is scheduled for Monday, October 7th, 5-7 P.M. CET in the Giurati Sports Centre in Milan. Mr. Hwang will be playing for Allianz Milano as an outside hitter alongside Mr. Matey Kaziyski, Mr. Osniel Mergarejo, and Mr. Ishikawa Yuki.
Please let me know of your availability to call regarding Mr. Hwangโs travel logistics. His transportation and lodging costs will be paid for by the club.
Iโm looking forward to speaking with you and welcoming Mr. Hwang to Italy once and for all.
Yours,
Nicola Daldello
Assistant Coach, Allianz Milano
โI told you, some opportunities just present themselves,โ Bang says, turning his monitor back around. โAs for next steps, I need a holistic calendar view of your entire month of October, including social evโHwang, is that foam coming out of your moโNOT ON MY CARPET! HWANG!โ
In a park about a ten minute walk away, a small crowd of elderly people are scattered across a few stone tables, hunched over the fading chess boards painted into the granite surfaces. Mrs. Choi whisks away Mrs. Baekโs king with a triumphant yelp.
โI knew it, I knew it, I knew it! That opening is unbeatable!โ She swivels towards you, shaking a fist threateningly. โYou! Get over here. Your reign is over.โ
You are sitting cross-legged in the shade of a broad magnolia tree, clearing out your storage. You tried to take a picture of a particularly rotund pigeon to send to Hyunjin earlier and couldnโt even do that. It was then you decided you couldn't live like this anymore.
โAs excited as I am to beat you again, Mrs. Choi, I need ten more minutes,โ you call back.ย
She presents you with an unpleasant hand gesture. You turn your attention back to your phone, grinning. Two new notifications sit at the top of your lock screen.
Hyunjin:
Omw now. Sorry had to talk to Chris
Hyunjin:
Same park?
Y/N:
yes
Hyunjin:
Whoโs our opponent today
Y/N:
mrs. choi
Hyunjin:
Not that bitch again
Y/N:
?
Heโll be here in eight minutes.
You return to the task at hand. Youโve already cleared out your apps, your documents, and videos; all thatโs left is the audio files. You conduct a quick mental review. Surely youโll live without your downloaded music and accidental voice memos.
Instead of hitting the โdeleteโ button, you extract a pair of tangled earphones from your jacket pocket.
You go back to your texts with Hyunjin, open the shared attachments tab, and scroll for a long time before you find the voice note he sent you seven months ago.
He finds you a sobbing mess.
โHey, hey, whoa.โ Heโs on his knees in an instant, gathering your hands into his, a world of concern in the brown of his eyes. Your earbuds fall out and clatter onto the cement below. โBaby, whatโs happening? Are you okay?โ
โYes,โ you say in a flustered haste. โYes, Iโm okay. I donโtโI donโt really know whatโs happening.โ
โDid that hag do this to you?โ He asks this question so seriously. โIโll beat up a senior citizen, I donโt give a fuckโโ
โNo!โ You let out an ugly laugh through your tears. โNo, no. Leave Mrs. Choi alone.โ
โThen what is it? Whatโs wrong?โ
Eventually, your vision clears enough for you to look at the man kneeling in front of you. His roots grow out longer every day, his hair by now nearly equal parts gold and black. A spot of sunlight infiltrates the magnolia leaves and lands on his left eye, turning it the hue of melted bronze.
Your fingers drift to the sides of his beautiful face as you lean in close; he smells like a combination of smoky rose and tropical coastlines.
โIโll tell you later,โ you murmur, pressing a kiss to his hairline.ย
He is dissatisfied with this, hooking a pointer finger beneath your chin, guiding your face back to his. He laves the saltwater from your lips, your tongue, and then youโre smiling again, barely able to remember why you cried in the first place.
You rest your foreheads together. โHave I told you that you look like a bumblebee these days?โ
He smiles. โDoes that make you my flower, then?โ
โBecause youโre irresistably drawn to me?โ
โNo, because I wanna put my pollen inโโ
You shove him away. โYou are grotesque.โ
He returns in a flash. โYou love me.โ
You kiss him again. And again. And one more time for good measure, during which you mumble I do against his lips, and then you remember something.
โWhy did Coach hold you back, by the way?โ You pull away, tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. โAre you in trouble again?โ
โNo, no. The opposite, actually.โ
Your brow furrows. โThe opposite? Whatโโ
โIn this lifetime, please,โ Mrs. Choi hollers from the chess tables. You roll your eyes. Hyunjin smiles helplessly.
โDuty calls, my love.โ
โTell me your thing later too?โ
โOf course.โ
You dust yourself off and stand up, making your way to the battleground. But not before you whisper to Hyunjin, โnow watch me beat up a senior citizen.โ
He laughs with his whole body, his eyes the shape of crescent moons, his mouth a little rectangle.
โHypocrite.โ
Hyunjin:
[1 Audio Message]
This is my seventh take and Iโm not recording an eighth. What you get is what you get. I donโt care anymore.
I understand if you donโt wanna talk about what happened at the arcade. I wouldnโt, either. I just wanted to say that you donโt have to do this tutoring thing anymore. I wonโt be able to fulfill my end of our deal, soโฆyeah, it wouldnโt be fair to you. Youโve already done so much for us. For me.
As for team manager, youโll have to talk to Minho and Coach Bang if you wanna quit. Doesnโt sound like a fun conversation, I knowโbut if thatโs what you decide, Iโll have your back. They donโt scare me. Well, they do. But only sometimes.
Youโve beenโฆdistant, this week. Iโve known peace and quiet for the first time since we met, and I fucking hate it. I realized I couldnโt care less if youโre my tutor or my team manager or whateverโI just donโt want you to be a stranger. Maybe thatโs selfish of me to say, but Iโm tired of pretending the idea of losing you doesnโt terrify me. It does. It really fucking does.
Iโm gonna end this here, because I almost just stopped recording on accident and Iโll genuinely commit homicide if I have to do all this again. Sorry that this got so long, andโฆIโm sorry about everything. You deserve better.
Come back to me whenever youโre ready, okay? Iโll be waiting.
๐ (send an ask to be added)ใป@astraystayyhใป@like-a-diamondintheskyใป@fire-08ใป@starsandrqindropsใป@txtxlzใป@laylasbunbunnyใป@strayghibliใป@nuronheใป@seungminsapuppyใป@vivisoniใป@moon0fthenightใป@sweetpickledjinsใป@svintsandghostsใป@nhyunn ใป@ur-boyfiendใป@liknwsใป@hotgorloikawaใป@randomwimpใป@automaticpersonabatpaperใป@aceofvernonsใป@linos-kittenใป@newhope8ใป@weedforthoughtzใป@hyunverse
ยฉ ๐๐จ๐ซ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฑ (est. 090323) ยท liked this work? please consider reblogging, commenting, or sending me an ask to let me know; or, read my other writing here. thanks so much for the support โก
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Meet & Greet... and more? Pt. 1
Pairing: Lando Norris x reader
Requested: Yes, thank you @remmysthings for his request, I loved it so much!!!
Summary: Single mom Y/N takes her son to meet Lando and Oscar and might be going home with more than just memories :)
Words: 2158
Click here for Part 2
Please do not repost, thank you, and leave some feedback :)
Y/N glanced at her watch, her heart racing almost as fast as the cars she was about to see. The Formula 1 paddock was alive with activity as the teams prepped for the big race. Her 4-year-old son, Noah, was practically vibrating with excitement since heโd learned about this special Meet & Greet. The thought of introducing Noah to his racing heroes had kept Y/N going through some tough days and she hoped it would be worth every effort.
Noah had been a fan of racing from a very young age. His room was decorated with posters of race cars and he could name every driver from the top of his head. When Y/N had managed to secure a Meet & Greet with Lando Norris and Oscar Piastri she felt like sheโd won the lottery. She knew this would be a day Noah would remember forever and she was determined to make it as special as possible.
As they approached the designated area, Y/N spotted the two drivers standing together. Lando was chatting animatedly with Oscar, both men looking relaxed in their team gear. Noahโs eyes widened and he tugged on Y/Nโs hand, pulling her forward impatiently.
โMommy, look! Itโs Lando! And Oscar!โ Noah squealed, his face lit up with sheer joy.
Landoโs gaze fell on them first. His eyes softened and a bright, genuine smile spread across his face. โHey there, little guyโ he called out, waving energetically.
Noahโs shyness melted away as he saw his idol waving at him. He tugged Y/Nโs hand again, urging her to hurry. Y/N, feeling a bit nervous, walked over to them with a smile and extended her hand. โHello, Iโm Y/N, and this is Noah. Itโs so nice to meet you both.โ
โItโs great to meet you, Y/N and you too, Noah. Are you excited to see the cars up close?โ Oscar greeted them with a friendly smile and Noahโs face lit up like a Christmas tree. โYes! I love the loud vroom-vroom noises!โ
Lando crouched down to Noahโs level, his eyes twinkling amused. โI think youโre going to love it even more when you see them up close. How about you come see the garage with us?โ
โYes, pleaseโ Noah shouted loudly while jumping up and down.
Lando took the boy's hand and led him towards the garage, Oscar and Y/N following them closely. โSo, Y/N, whatโs your story? How did you end up as Noahโs biggest racing supporter?โ Oscar asked the young woman next to him.
โWell, itโs been just Noah and me for a while now. Heโs always had a fascination with cars and I guess I just got caught up in his enthusiasm. This is a big deal for us, and it means a lot to be here today.โ
Oscar nodded. โI can imagine. Itโs wonderful to see such a strong bond and itโs great that Noah has something heโs so passionate about.โ
As they walked through the paddock, Y/N noticed how Lando effortlessly engaged with Noah. His energy and enthusiasm were infectious. Noah was asking questions about the carโs features and Lando was answering with technical details and playful banter.
โNoahโs a natural. He might be a future racer,โ Lando glanced back at Y/N with a smile. โHeโs pretty great, just like his mom, I bet. You must be pretty good at handling all this excitement.โ
Y/N laughed, feeling a blush creep up her cheeks. โI try my best.โ
Oscar, catching the look Lando was giving Y/N, raised an eyebrow but kept his mouth shut. โAnd what about you, Y/N? Whatโs your favorite part about racing?โ
Y/N hesitated for a moment, not wanting to admit that sheโs not an expert in Formula 1, but eventually decided to be honest. โIโm not as into the technical details as Noah is, but I love seeing him so happy and excited. It makes everything worth it.โ
โI can see that, itโs clear how much you care about him,โ Lando smiled, his eyes softening with understanding.
The young boyโs excitement was visible when the group approached the race engineer area. Noah got more and more hyper, still holding onto Landoโs hand as he followed his idol to a series of high-tech computers and screens. โThis is where we monitor everything during the race,โ the British driver explained to the boy, โitโs like the carโs brain, keeping track of all the data.โ
Y/N was astonished at the amount of screens displaying real-time performance data. โItโs incredible how much technology goes into this. Iโve never seen anything like it up close.โ
Lando smiled, clearly enjoying her fascination with it as well. โIt can be a bit overwhelming at first, but itโs all about making sure everything runs perfectly. Itโs quite a thrill, actually. Do you want to see the car up close now?โ He eventually asked the little boy who was still holding onto him.
Lando and Noah quickly were engrossed in a lively discussion about the car, the boy standing next to the vehicle and the driver kneeling beside him, showing the 4-year-old the various parts of the car and answering his questions.
When Lando noticed Y/N watching from a few feet away, he waved at her with a grin. He couldnโt help but notice how the light seemed to highlight her features, giving her a beautiful glow. Her smile, warm and genuine, made Landoโs heart skip a beat and he admired how her eyes lit up with curiosity at the things she was seeing and love for her little boy.
After a few more minutes of inspecting the car Lando lifted the 4-year-old up to sit in the driverโs seat, and Noahโs eyes widened in awe. โWow! Itโs so cool!โ
Lando grinned, clearly enjoying Noahโs reaction. โYou look like you belong there.โ
Noah beamed up at him, then glanced over at Y/N with a look of pure delight. โMommy, lookโ he shouted in excitement, โIโm in the car!โ
โSo? What do you think about our garage?โ Lando asked Y/N while Noah was pretending to drive and making noises. Oscar sensed how Lando seemed to want a moment with Y/N, so he moved himself next to Noah and explained the different buttons on the steering wheel.ย
โItโs fascinating. I never realized how much goes into managing a car during a race.โ
โWhatโs been the most surprising part for you so far?โ Landoโs gaze lingered on her a moment longer than necessary, but Y/N didnโt seem to notice. She thought about his question for a moment. โI think itโs how much detail and precision is involved. I mean, I knew racing was complex, but seeing it all laid out like this is eye-opening.โ
Lando nodded, clearly pleased with her insight. โItโs amazing, isnโt it? Every little detail matters. Thatโs why we work so hard to get everything just right.โ
The young woman nodded, smiling up to him. He was struck again by how pretty she looked. There was something genuinely captivating about her and he found himself drawn to her.
โNoahโs been asking some really good questions. Heโs got a real passion for this, doesnโt he?โ Lando commented, trying to keep the conversation going while his mind wandered to how lovely Y/N was.
Y/Nโs face softened when she heard his words, happy and proud that somebody other than just his own mother noticed the passion her son had. โHe definitely does. Heโs been fascinated with racing since he could talk, so today his dream came true.โ
Landoโs smile grew warmer as he looked back at Y/N. โItโs wonderful to see that kind of enthusiasm. And I have to say, youโre pretty amazing yourself, Y/N, not just for bringing Noah here, but for supporting his dreams and how youโre handling all of this. It must be hard taking care of him by yourself.โ
As Y/N smiled, touched by his words โThank you, Lando. Thatโs really sweet of you to say,โ her cheeks flushing, โsome days are hard but heโs a great kid.โ
The driver admired her but also felt something deeper. He genuinely enjoyed her company and it was clear that her kindness and beauty, inside and out, had made a lasting impression on him. While she was watching her son still chatting with Oscar Lando once again was fascinated by the young woman next to him. He usually wasnโt the type to be nervous to flirt with girls but with Y/N it was different.ย
He felt himself get nervous but decided to say what he wanted to say anyway. โIโve really enjoyed today, Y/N. How about I give you my number? Maybe I can show you around the track properly sometime or you can text me anytime you want to know more about racing or just chat.โ
Y/N smiled, easing Landoโs nervousness. โIโd like that,โ she nodded, fished her phone out of her pocket and handed it to the driver who had an equally big smile on his face while he put his number into her contacts.
After a few more moments of admiring the car and asking the two drivers a dozen questions, it was time for Noah and Y/N to say goodbye.
โHey, letโs take some pictures to remember today,โ Lando suggested. Everyone eagerly agreed, and they started positioning themselves for a series of fun shots. Oscar and Y/N posed together first while Noah playfully peeped out from behind them.
After a few group photos, Lando had a special request. โOscar, can you take a picture of me with Y/N and Noah? I want to have a shot with just us.โ
Lando quickly lifted Noah up onto his hip. The boy snuggled against him, eyes wide with awe and a beaming grin on his little face. Lando then slung an arm around Y/N, drawing her close and after a few seconds of hesitation Y/N leaned into Landoโs side.
Oscar, who had been watching with a smile, realized that this scene looked like a perfect family photo. The way Lando had Noah securely on his hip and the way his arm was wrapped around Y/N gave the impression of a cute little family enjoying a special day together.ย
The Australian raised his phone and captured the moment and after reviewing the photo and agreeing that it perfectly captured their time together, the group exchanged hugs and well-wishes but Lando had one more surprise for Noah. He handed him a signed McLaren bear with a personal note, and Noah clutched it tightly, his eyes shining with happiness.
โThank you so much, this was the best day ever!โ Noah exclaimed.
โYouโre welcome, buddy, it was great meeting you. Maybe weโll see you at another race again soon,โ he crouched down once more to give the little boy a hug. โNoah, keep being awesome. Iโll be waving at you from the track.โ
As Y/N and Noah left the paddock, Lando and Oscar remained behind. The Brit couldnโt help but smile at how this normal day had turned into something unexpectedly amazing. The two drivers walked toward the team's hospitality area and Oscar smirked at his teammate. โYou seemed to have quite a connection with Y/N today. Not just the way you were with Noah, but with her too.โ
Lando chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. โYeah, sheโs great, isnโt she? It was really nice talking to her. Sheโs got this warmth about her and Noahโs excitement was just infectious.โ
Oscar raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. โSo, youโre saying you might have a bit of a soft spot for her?โ
โMaybe I do,โ Lando shrugged and felt a blush creep onto his face, โsheโs kind, genuine and really down-to-earth. Itโs not everyday you meet someone who can handle all this racing stuff and meet someone famous and still make you feel like youโre talking to a friend.โ
Oscarโs grin widened. โSounds like youโre pretty taken with her. You know, itโs not just about the job. Itโs nice to have those connections outside of racing, especially when you meet someone who makes the whole experience more memorable.โ
โYeah, exactly,โ Lando nodded, his expression thoughtful. โItโs been a while since I felt this way with someone and seeing how happy Noah was today, it just added to everything.โ
Oscar patted Lando on the back. โWell, if youโre interested in getting to know her better, you should definitely make an effort.โ
โI think I will. I hope she texts me, I gave her my number and I really want to see if we can catch up one day.โ Lando couldnโt help but smile, already looking forward to the possibility of hearing from Y/N. The thought of continuing their connection and seeing where it might lead was exciting and he hoped that todayโs encounter would turn into something more...
___________________
Click here for Part 2
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you have curly hair
Pairing: Ot8 Skz ร Gn!reader (individually)
Genre: fluff, reaction
Request: an s/o who has curly/wavy hair and feels insecure about it? Maybe skz got used to seeing them with straight hair and one day they catch them with their natural hair?
Warnings: not proofread
A/n: curly hair girls for the win | fundraiser
Bang Chan
โoh my God, twins?!
โhonestly he loves that you guys have this in common
โhe'll start wearing his curly hair more often
โyou'd both learn how to take care of it together
โ๐ that's so couple goals of you two
โhe'll even try to make some hair styles on you
โat first he would fail so badly but it would be funny at least ๐ญ
โbut in the end he'd get pretty decent in some of them honestly
โso that's a slay
โunderstands when you're not confident about your looks because same
โbut he's so ready to try and reassure you of your beauty
Lee Know
โi think he'd have seen some pictures of you before you straightened your hair
โand he was like "oh it looked pretty as well"
โbut then he sees it in real life
โand he's like
โ"I underestimated it. I underestimated it so badly"
โhe just can't get over the fact that you look GORGEOUS
โhe finds it so fluffy๐ญ
โand i think he'd love it when you just woke up or something and the hair is a bit messy
โbecause it's so?? pretty??
โno matter if you say you hate it, he finds it to be your best look just yet
Changbin
โyou guys are also matching!!
โhe won't ever shut up about this btw
โstarts to wear his wavy hair more often too
โstay are forever grateful to you for that
โabsolutely loves when you make new hairstyles
โeven if you end up failing on styling it, he still hypes you up
โis already on his way to contact the best hairdressers in town just for you
โand to buy whatever you may need to take care of it all
โif you let him play with your hair as well, he could die a happy man
Hyunjin
โhas the most lovestruck gaze ever
โright when he swore you could not get any prettier...
โof course you had to go and prove him wrong
โfinds your natural hair to be the creation of some goddess or something like that, no way that is a human trait
โ overall he's just falling in love even more after seeing the way your curls frame your face
โcompliments just flow so naturally out of his lips and he's like damn
โneedless to say he'll be painting this for weeks to go
Han
โimmediately betrayed because why didn't you tell him you had curly hair any sooner??
โhe could've been getting blessed by such a vision for ages
โand you just didn't let him??
โjokes asides, he can't put his mind on the fact that you look even better (how is that possible fr)
โimmediately on his knees begging you to keep your hair this way more times
โhe'll even learn how to take care of it if you don't want to do it yourself!!
โactually I think he'd find the whole process kinda therapeutic
โso that's a win win right
Felix
โ๐ฎ
โ that's him right now
โin the most adorable way ever
โhe just finds you so cute with it
โit makes you look like an angel
โreally wants to touch your curls but he's so afraid he'd mess them up lmao
โbut he truly loves it
โwon't shut up about this for a hot minute
โwill also take thousands of pictures
โwith you posing or just candids, whatever
โhe just needs to eternalise this moment
Seungmin
โfinds it fluffy PT.2
โidk you just look so... dreamy?
โrenaissance aesthetic you know
โhe loves it
โnext thing you know is that he bought you tones of things to take care of your hair
โshampoo, conditioner, mascara... you tell it
โhe did his research okay
โlowkey doesn't understand how you can be insecure about it because??
โhe loves how you look with the curls
โhe loves your appearance no matter what tbh but your natural hair is just something else
โit really emphasizes the you in you if that makes sense
โwords of affirmation isn't his strongest love language but boy, isn't he ready to compliment you as much as he can
I.N
โhe has a somewhat cocky smile on his face
โlike, you're just so attractive like that
โyou already were, but now you're just ten times more
โand it also fits you so well
โit gives you more aura if you know what I mean
โand if you do those really cute and creative hairstyles he's so !!
โhe finds it amazing
โhas a whole Pinterest board on inspiration for hairstyles because damn, he didn't know he needed you in those before he saw it for the first time
โa lot of accessories as well
โhe'll find a way to match your hair accessories to some of his own acessories
Masterlist | you'll probably like: you have a lot of tattoos
Thank you for reading <3
Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans @dandelions-143 @sleepyleeji
Credits for images 1 2 and 3
Dividers by @isisjupiter
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nobody ever loved me like you do, spencer reid
just a little prompt i couldn't get out of my head. this is majority fluff, it got kind of heavy towards the end, but no smut because i'm a coward, reader is a university student, there's an age gap between reader + spencer, unspecified, but reader is over 22. based off of 'pov' by ariana grande.
this absolutely got long as shit, i don't know how to be normal. (5.6k wrds)
"what's on your mind?" you hadn't realized you'd gone quiet until you feel the dip of the couch. it takes a moment to snap out of the little moment you've dug yourself into, but when you do you're pleasantly surprised to see your boyfriend on the couch next to you. he grabs hold of the book you'd haphazardly discarded, and flips it over. you imagine internally he's tsking at you, he was always reminding you to be careful of the spine of the books you read, but you're happy he doesn't make a move to scold you about it now. instead, he closes it, and places it in his lap, letting his eyes trace all over your pretty face.
"is everything okay?" he prods, and in truth, you were fine. you didn't really know why you'd gotten so lost in your head, it just happened sometimes. domesticity was still fairly new, and despite the fact that your relationship with spencer had gotten to the point where you both were comfortable staying at each other's places for long periods of time, you still kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. spencer was the first guy you'd been with that was older, already established, had a 'big boy job' as you so eloquently labeled it. he had security.
not that you were some lazy, unprepared individual letting your life slip by, but you were still figuring things out. you were in university, and you had big dreams and hopes for your future, it just felt like it was taking forever to get there. to your future. everyone was always telling you not to wish away your youth, but by law you were no longer a child, you hadn't been for a while. your twenties were meant to be for 'figuring things out', finding yourself all over again, or that's what you were always hearing. over time it felt easier said than done.
the point was when you were still uncertain about what you wanted to spend the rest of your life doing, it was hard to feel grown up. especially when you had a boyfriend like spencer who was always doing something to raise the bar for humanity. he was a genius, he worked for one of the most prestigious units in the fbi, he was in the fbi... that in itself was an accomplishment. he had phds, bachelor degrees, and an extensive knowledge of literature in numerous languages and texts. to top it all off, he really was a great boyfriend.
you supposed it was just you feeling a bit insecure. you didn't believe that he expected too much of you, but that didn't stop you from putting unnecessary pressure on yourself. "everything's fine." you promise, and you tack on a warm smile to really sell it. the action triggers an involuntary smile from spencer, and you feel a bit faint, just because he's so pretty. "i was just watching you read." you admit, and it was true, you had gotten a bit lost in how quickly spencer was speeding through his own book. it didn't trigger insecurity, it just left you in awe at how absurdly lucky you were to have bagged spencer.
"yeah?" and he's got this edge to his voice that he usually gets when he's tired, sleepy, content. it was comforting, knowing that he was comfortable being here, like this with you. "are you sure that you're alright?" and he's leaning forward, hand cupping your cheek as he rubs his thumb over your jaw, and you lean into him. "you know you can talk to me about anything." he adds, and he's perceptive. you're certain that part of this has to do with his job, and the other part has a lot to do with the fact that he knows you so well.
"i know." you answer instantly, and you bring your hand up to hold over top his. "trust me, i know. that's why i like you so much." you beam brightly, and you lean in and press a quick kiss to his lips. it's a peck, and it sounds like one with the way that your lips smack together. you note his disappointment when you pull away just as he moved to kiss you a bit more fiercely. you find yourself giggling a bit as he pouts at you, and you lean in to offer him another kiss.
"like?" he asks, and you know he's fishing, but for what you're not sure. his eyes never look as bright as they do when he's sitting across from you. it offers you a bit of an ego boost to know that someone as handsome as your spencer consistently looks so enamored and enraptured with you. "i thought that we were a little past like..." he says, and your nose scrunches up at his big doe-eyed stare. "am i wrong about that?" and he holds his breath.
"no, you're right." you promise, and he relaxes. "we're past that." spencer looks relieved, and you wonder sometimes what's going on in his mind. he doesn't say anything for a while, he just looks at you, his thumb continues to draw soothing circles on your face, and you think you might be convinced to fall asleep if he keeps it up. "i'm sorry." you offer, and spencer's immediately shaking his head at you.
"don't apologize." he presses, and he's peeling his hand away from your face. now it's your turn to be disappointed. "and if you don't feel like we're past the 'i like yous'... that's okay too." and he looks sad now. it's your least favorite expression on him, and you wonder if you've done something wrong. "i don't want you to feel like you're rushing yourself, okay? or like you're forcing yourself to feel anything that you don't." he says, and your eyebrows furrow inward, face contorting.
"i don't feel that way." you deny sternly. spencer's head tips to the side, curls following along, and the urge to run your hands through his hair almost chokes you out. "spencer, i don't feel that way." you reiterate, and you hate that his expression doesn't change. you hate that he looks like he doesn't believe you. "i have too many feelings for you." you admit, and you shake your head. "all of the feelings." you insist, and the problem is that you haven't managed to fully verbalize what that means. spencer's told you that he loves you, often.
you haven't managed to say it back, but not because you don't believe it. it's more so out of worry that once you tell him, things will get too real. you'll grow too comfortable, and by-proximity expose parts of yourself that spencer might not be ready for. things that'll make him run for the hills, and take his sweet i love yous with him. "that's a lot of feelings." spencer replies, and he sighs deep, chest moving with the action. you smile, mostly to ward off the tension.
he doesn't return it, and you suddenly feel anxious. "do you want-" he trails off, and he looks conflicted. "if you wanted to break up..." and your heart sinks. "you would tell me, wouldn't you?" he asks, and you immediately reach out for him, his hands curling into yours as you interlock your fingers. you want to slam your head into a wall, mostly for worrying him in this way. The last thing you'd been thinking about was a breakup, in fact, you'd finally resided yourself to the fact that you were in this relationship as long as spencer wanted you.
"do you think that's what this is about?"
"isn't it?" his quick retort makes you frown, and now you're facing one another with matching pouts. "i just want you to trust me with your feelings... all of them." he explains. "even the ones i might not enjoy the most." he treads lightly, and you find that there's nobody in the world who could matter more to you. "and i'm sorry if i haven't been doing enough to let you know that." and you huff in annoyance, but not with him. never with him. with yourself for overthinking.
"you've got it all wrong." you tell him, and you hope your words sound as definitive as they feel. "a breakup is the farthest thing from my mind." you shuffle a bit on the couch, mostly to invade the space he just took. you don't stop moving until he's back in your orbit, your knees brushing against his leg. "i've never met anyone like you before." and it feels cliche, but you suppose you've earned the right to quote the words, because they're true. "i think as far as expectations for boyfriends go, you managed to smash through them all."
spencer finds himself nervous under the onslaught of kind words. he can't look away from you though, because it's so rare when you let him into your head. despite all his profiling skills, you were still almost completely a mystery. he understood your physical cues, but the emotional ones were still hard to pinpoint. "i think sometimes i still keep waiting for you to realize how amazing you are..." and he has that annoying feeling of giddiness in his stomach. it feels childish, but he adores the rush loving you continues to give him.
"i think i'm a little aware." he says, and you laugh. your hands reach out, and now you're the one holding his face. he thinks it's a comfort thing of yours, the way you like to hold onto him when you're talking. his apprehension towards touch was no match for the way your hands on his face brought him a feeling of comfort like nothing else.
"and you still want to be with me?" you ask, and you don't sound bashful, more confused than anything else. spencer's confusion soon matches your own, his eyebrows furrowing as he recites your words over and over in his head. what sort of question was that? "i just mean that there's so many types of women out there... you work with so many." and your mind drifts to his closeness with the girls he worked with in the fbi. namely jennifer jareau.
you'd only met her a few times, you knew she was married with sons, but you couldn't shake the thought that if she wanted him she could have him. she was older, more confident, disastrously pretty. "i just don't understand why someone like you would want to be with someone like me." you express, and spencer is flabbergasted. he forces you to peel your hands from his face, instead choosing to hold your hands and squeeze them gingerly.
"someone like you?" and he wants you to get it all out, every last bit of it, mostly so that he can correct every incorrect notion about yourself that you expose.
"someone who's immature, naive, inexperienced, uncertain about almost every major decision... you know? someone like me." you divulge, and he winces. "you've got so much going for you, i just don't want you to feel like i'm holding you back." you admit. "so when i saw you reading... i don't know-" you trail off, and spencer's eyes shoot across the room to his own discarded book. "i guess i just remembered how incredible you are, and how severely inadequate i must be in comparison." and your voice gets quieter as you finish.
"you could never hold me back." he states firmly. "and even more than that... i don't think it's actually possible for someone to really hold you back." he admits, and you feel him beginning to start on a tangent, though you don't mind. they were far and few in between these days. "to me it always seemed more like an excuse people use to place blame on someone else for their shortcomings." spencer's let go of your hands, and you watch them as he gestures boisterously. "for everything i'm good at, there's so many areas where i fall short."
you don't think you've ever loved him more.
"and who says phd's and fast reading skills are what make a person better suited or fit for anything?" and he knows that you want to rebuttal, so he continues so you don't get the chance to. "my skills help me with the job that i do... we can agree that's true, right?" he asks, and you nod your head. "right. but, you don't want to have my job, do you?" he asks, and your nose curls up. you thought that what spencer did was admirable, you loved celebrating the victories with him, you knew it was important, but you don't think you had it in you.
"no, i guess not." you disagree.
"and you don't need to be called 'doctor' or hold a gun, or kick down doors, in order to be... a suitable life partner."
"you're not kicking down any doors, spencer." you crack a joke, and you like that he laughs, it's the kind that morphs into a toothy smile.
"maybe not, i just mean that out of the two of us, you're not the one who needs to worry about not being adequate... i don't think there's anything in existence that would make me not want to be with you." and you feel bashful, but know full well that you can't pull your eyes away from him. "you're a lot to lose." he exhales, and you blink. "and you don't need doctorates or much of anything for that to be the case." spencer beams a little bit, "you captivate people without even realizing it sometimes." spencer's hand moves to rest on your thigh.
"you think so?"
"sometimes i try and figure out how i got so lucky, and i hope that i keep doing whatever it takes to make you stay." he admits. "does that make sense?" he asks, and you feel your heart wanting to burst out of your chest.
"it makes a lot of sense." you agree. "and i can guarantee that as long as you want me, you'll have me." you promise.
"and if i want you forever?" he asks, and you smile despite yourself.
"then i guess you're stuck with me forever, doctor reid." and he likes the thought a lot more than he anticipated. he thinks that's why he can't ignore the urge to kiss you. he leans forward, lips overtaking yours like a magnet being pulled towards a kindred force. you almost pounce, finding yourself rooted on top of his lap, fingers finally finding solace in his hair, as his hands scope out your waist and the curve of your hips.
you hum when his lips peel away from yours, landing on your neck as he peppered the space with kisses and small bites. kissing spencer was a surefire way to get you both started down a path of insatiability. it was dangerous, but you supposed with the conversation context in mind, it made perfect sense for this to be the end result. still, it feels like there's more to say, and you suppose that it's why you tighten your hold on his hair just slightly, craning your neck to give him all the access he needs. "spence?" you gasp.
he doesn't verbally acknowledge you, instead his arms loop around you, bringing you closer as he proceeds to leave hickeys in areas that would be much too difficult to hide. "spence..." you try again.
"i'm listening." he promises before he's placing a kiss just behind your ear. it makes you squirm, suddenly feeling lightheaded as his grip on your waist tightens slightly.
"can you tell me again?" you ask, and you don't want to ruin the moment, especially after he just sweetly poured his heart out to you. "tell me how you feel about me..." you instruct a bit more impatiently. spencer's more interested in leaving more marks on your skin, but he also enjoys the vulnerability that comes with expressing himself to you. he pulls away from your neck with one last peck, before his lust-filled gaze is locked on yours. you've taken to raking your nails through his hair, gently dragging against his scalp.
"you still don't know?" he asks, and part of you thinks he's doing this on purpose. it's not until you register the slight upturn of his lips that you recognize that he's teasing you.
"is it so bad that i want to hear it again?" you press, and you're feeling a bit impatient, mostly because you're itching to finally spit the three word phrase out, but you want him to say it first.
"no." he denies, head shaking. "it's not bad at all, and i don't mind telling you, but, can you ask me the right way?" and you feel the shift, the way his fingers finally slip under your shirt. it makes you jump, the way his fingertips trace over the skin of your lower back. "what are you fishing for, pretty girl?" you don't have the courage to stare at him anymore, instead you find your head glued to his chest, eyes squeezed shut, as your arms looped around him.
"i'm not fishing." you deny, and spencer presses a swift kiss to the top of your head. despite the desire to 'get to the good part' that you know you both feel, you still enjoy this part. the clinginess, the way he showered you in attention and affection that you had never believed yourself worthy of. he loved you so openly, so easily. it never felt like a burden, it never felt like something he had to try too hard at. you liked that, you liked that he made falling in love so easy.
"no?" he doesn't sound convinced. "what are you hoping i'll say then? i know you have an idea." he says and his chin is resting on the top of your head as he adjusts you on his lap. the tension still rests in the air, but he's holding you like he's comforting you almost, arms looped around you in an almost-hug that feels warm and comfortable and familiar. it's the kind that you could get lost in, fall asleep in. maybe you will, just as soon as you get through this last little emotional hoop.
"you don't know everything."
"did i say that?" he corrects you lowly, he's not impatient with you, and you wonder how long it took him to garner enough stamina to keep up with your sass.
"no." you deny, and he hums in agreement. you've taken to running your hands up and down his back, palms closing and opening as you try and quiet your anxiety. "i want to hear you say that you love me again." you admit, and it feels like a lump is forming in your throat. "i know that you do." you add a second after. "but sometimes i like to hear it anyway..." you clear your throat. "it makes me feel-" and you trail off, because you haven't really gotten over this hurdle.
spencer's smiling, and you know that he is, because as much as he knows you, you think you know him a little bit too. "how does it make you feel?" he asks, and you shake your head, eliciting an amused sort of exhale. "you can tell me anything." he reminds you, and of course you know that. "or we could move on... if it's too much to say right now." he offers you an out like the gentleman he always has been. "do you want to go back to before?" and you definitely want to kiss him.
maybe do a bit more than kiss.
"yes." you agree, but when it seems like he's about to move, you hold him even tighter to you. "wait, no." you deny, and he's exhaling through his nose. you cringe, because you know that sometimes you can be indecisive, but you think about what he'd told you earlier. you remind yourself that he wanted you, and you calm down. "i want to kiss you again." you start, and he doesn't say anything, because he knows you're not finished. "but i want to finish our conversation first." you huff, and he's surprised, in a pleasant sort of way.
"we can do that." he promises, "what do you want to tell me?"
"i like when you tell me that you love me." you admit, and you think it's good that you're not looking at him. you also like that he's still lightly dragging his fingers along your waist, it makes you shy, but you welcome it. "it's not something that you just tell everyone, so i like that you tell me, even though i haven't said it back." you feel like you're losing your breath as you rush to get it out. "and i like how what you said earlier makes me feel."
"how's that?" and spencer is spencer. he likes to drag things like this out, he likes for you to elaborate, to explain yourself. you suppose he likes to hear you just as much as you like to hear him.
"i don't know how to express it really, but it feels nice. 'cause you always sound like you mean it when you say it." you freeze when his fingers stop their slow journey, but you don't have time to focus on that right now. "not like butterflies, but it's like stabilizing." you shrug your shoulders. "and it's not the sort of thing that feels like it comes with some sort of price. like i don't hear it, and think 'oh he's only saying this because he wants to sleep with me', it doesn't-" you inhale. "it doesn't make me anxious or anything."
spencer's disappointed that his memory mostly works for things he's seen rather than heard, because he wants to relive this conversation for the rest of his life. it's a bit unheard of, especially in his lifetime. he's seen people in love, he's witnessed incredible relationships, but nothing he's seen has ever compared to the way that you manage to make him feel. he's had girlfriends, one-night-stands, experimentations, and things in between that felt like they could be the real thing, eventually. being with you though feels easy.
even when things go wrong, when you're too stubborn to communicate, and he's too tired to fight for you to, it still feels easy. like the struggles that come with your relationship are struggles he's willing to deal with. you're someone he's willing to deal with.
"it makes me want to stay." you offer, and it's scary, mostly because you've got the world's worst habit of running away when things get too real. you packed your bags at the first inconvenience, it was who you were, who you had been before spencer. you didn't stick around to fight for your relationships, you didn't let anyone fight for you either. "like... like even if things go horribly wrong, it'll still be okay as long as you still sound like you mean it when you say i love you."
you don't think you'll cry, but you do think once you're all finished, you'll want to stay wrapped up in him like this.
"i've just never met anyone that makes life make so much sense." and your leg is slightly shaking, and you're burrowing even deeper into his chest, holding him just a bit tighter. "so please... can you tell me again?" you ask, and your hands have taken fistfuls of his shirt, curling just slightly as you try and will your heartbeat to slow.
"you all done?" he asks, and you nod your head, all done with talking for now. "i'm so proud of you." and your confusion is back, as well as your ability to talk.
"what for?" you inquire, and he unloops his arms from around you. you don't want to move, but you know where this is going. still, you decide you'll wait until he asks you.
"can you look at me, please?" he asks quietly, and you're immediately pulling back, hands in your lap as you take in all the emotions resting on your boyfriend's face.
"oh, spence!" and you hope he's not about to cry. you've never been privy to it, but you can imagine what it'll do to you in your emotionally high state. "i know that was a lot, i'm sorry." you apologize despite the fact that you've done nothing wrong, a bad habit.
"please don't ever apologize for something like that." he corrects you gently. "i'm proud, because i can imagine how hard that likely was, but you did it anyway, so thank you for sharing how you're feeling with me." you look away just for a second, the moment feeling too heavy for you to manage. you're looking back at him just a moment after, his stare something you've always been terrible at ignoring and avoiding. "would it be a let down if i told you that i feel the same way about you?" he asks, and you wonder if this phase ever ends.
you don't want to wake up one day and find that your smile no longer reaches your eyes when you look at him, or hear his voice.
"no." you answer quietly. "i like when you agree with me, especially about your feelings for me." and it's a small joke, one you partially mean. "but, you still haven't told me that you love me, yet." you remind him a bit more sternly than you have been.
"i know." he retorts, and he looks a bit smug. you want to say that you hate when he gets like this, but you know you're lying. "i'm waiting to see how long it'll take you to crack." he admits, and your nose curls. he beams at you, and you want to glare, just for the fun of it. "why are you determined not to say it first?" he asks, and you cross your arms over your chest, busted.
"you don't know what's in my head." you instead argue, and his eyes roll, but he still seems amused. "i can say it first if i very well wish." you add, and his eyebrows raise, a challenge. unlucky for you, because you had a problem with being challenged. you would always walk right into his trap like a fool.
"so then say it." he taunts, and you realize pride is one hell of a killer.
"fine, i will." you retort, voice laced in mock-aggravation. "i love you." you deadpan, you say it like it's a bother. "happy now?"
"not with that attitude. can you try again? say it like you mean it?" he presses, and you're weaker in the knees than you initially believed. all your bravado goes right out the window, and you're suddenly anxious again, with no bite to curb your words, you're certain he'll hear every ounce of emotion you feel towards him if you say it again.
"spence." you exclaim, and he's not moved. you think you hate him just a little. "it's not fair, you're being mean." you express, looking down at your lap, and you know that you're only behaving this way because you're overwhelmed.
"i'm not." he promises, and he ducks just a little so that you're looking directly at him again. "i wouldn't be, especially not about this." he adds. "i just want you to say it again for me, can you do that? please?" he asks, and you hate how absurdly handsome he is sitting across from you. he's got this way of looking innocent even when he's baiting you, and he's always got this intensity in his stare that's enough to knock the wind out of you. it's kryptonite, and precisely why you concede.
"spencer, i love you." he groans, quietly, but you hear him all the same. he's kissing you before you can react, and it's easy getting lost in moments like these. he always kisses you like he's trying to swallow you whole, too handsy for his own good. his kisses are desperate, tongue swiping out just slightly, likely to test the waters. you match his ferocity, and let your own tongue drag over his bottom lip before you press a bit more forcibly, hurriedly, desperately.
"i love you." you don't know why you're saying it again, but it's not as hard as the first time. you kiss him again, grumbling when he's quick to lean out of reach. you shoot him a sour glance, and he's not moved.
"hey, i love you too." he echoes you in the most love sick sort of way. it feels precisely as you had described it earlier, and that makes you happier. the fact that the feelings didn't change, didn't disappear all because you'd said the three words back. you hum contentedly, and then your head is back on his chest, listening to the steady thrum of his heartbeat. "does it still sound like i mean it?" he asks, he questions you softly, like he's trying to preserve the moment.
"mhm." you answer quietly, and you strain to kiss his throat once, before your back to resting against him. "did it sound like i meant it?" you mimic his line of questioning, and you're happy when his arms are back around you. he's a lot more respectable this time around, but before long, his hands are finding their chosen place back under your shirt, exploring your waist and hips as you try not to squirm.
"yes." he replies, and you're glad to hear it. "can you say it again?" you suppose in the grand scheme, you do have lots to make up for. he'd probably want you to say it over and over again.
"i love you." it's instantaneous, as is the way spencer's hold on you grows more firm. you hadn't wanted to mention it, the way sitting here like this with him had you itching for more, but it seemed you weren't the only one in that headspace. "spence?" you question, and he's dragging his hand up and down your back, legs starting to bounce just slightly.
"yeah?"
"can we go back to before now?" you ask, and you expect him to be a tease. he could never just give you what you wanted, he always had to drag it out, and make you nervous.
"back to before?" he pries, and he's leading. you huff audibly, and you adjust yourself on his lap, trying to control the way the pit in your stomach seemed to grow warm, heating you up from the inside. "you'll have to be a bit more specific than that, love." he tsks, and you hate him.
"i just-" you frown, hating this part. "i want you." you deadpan. "and you know that, so i don't know why you're being like this." except you do, because it's amusing to spencer to watch you get all flustered and nervous. you don't know why, but it's how he is. you think that one day you'll try your hand at flustering him back, just to see what all the hype is about. "i want you to-" and you're not sure exactly what counts for too blunt with a boyfriend like spencer. "let's f-fuck, okay?" and spencer's got that stupid amused look on his face again.
god, you hate him.
"that wasn't too hard was it?" he questions, and you cut your eyes. you're certain he'll make you pay for the looks, and the smart mouth down the line, but you can't care right now.
"it was excruciating." you correct haughtily. "you should be ashamed of yourself for treating the girl that you love this way." you add, and spencer's got his bottom lip tucked between his teeth as he takes you in. you gulp, shuffling just slightly as you realize precisely the predicament you've gotten yourself into.
"do you want me to make it up to you?" he asks, and he sounds breathier than before, which only serves to make you more of a hot-and-bothered mess.
"i-" you blink owlishly, unsure of his intentions.
"yes or no?" he presses, and you think either way this goes, your done for. "you've just got to say the word."
"yes." head nodding, eyes blown to hell, it's easy enough. "you should. you definitely should." you respond, and then he's kissing you again. he's much more intense this time, stealing all of the air out of your lungs as his nails scratch against your skin, you hands moving to cup his face, you hope to keep him anchored to you this way. when he breaks from the kiss again, you're ready to lay into him, only to squeak when he scoops you up, standing up from the chair.
your legs immediately lock around his hips, and you're panting already, he seemed to have that constant effect. all it took was a little kissing, and you were already a mess. "i love you." he says this like it's a reminder, and you are quick to chase his mouth with your own. you could say you were a bit obsessed with the act.
"i know." you reply, and his eyes roll at you, but he still looks as love sick as you feel.
"good. i'm going to need you to remember that, because when we get to the bed, i'm going to do a lot of things that might make you think the opposite." he says this like a definitive promise, and you gasp. "do you understand?" he asks, and you're shivering, the anticipation already managing to strike you down.
"yeah-yes!" you stutter. "i understand, it's okay." you add. spencer's already got this look of pride residing in his eyes, and you know that you're in for it, silly you for thinking love confessions would be enough to get you out of all the backtalk and clear attitude. "i'm ready!" you insist like the eager girl you are.
"we'll see." he retorts.
god, you love him.
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