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keeponquinning · 1 year

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Yes, Professor — Part One of Three.

Joseph Quinn x Erotica Novelist Fem!Reader. 18+

Word Count — 4.6k

Summary — slightly based on this, but mainly. You're Joseph's secret writer girlfriend who you met amidst the start of his convention tours, things are hot and heavy between you two, though strained for the inconvenience of not living in the same city and not being official. You're forced to spend a week apart but plan to meet up with him back in London on the last day of his Con appearance, and after teasing him for his Professor type choice of outfits, well, you just couldn't resist showing up dressed as your professor's favorite student, now could you? We thought not.

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

Part One — He's in London, you? Are not. In a party for you best friend's boyfriend, you manage to get him in a call, hearing his voice, laughing, conversations wishing to see his face, but you can take what you can get.

Preview —

Warnings — Not too many, nothing really smutty happens this part, maybe some dirty talk. Established relationship, it is a big ol' RPF and my first attempt. If not your thing, that's valid AF, just don't be mean / a dick about it. I am but a drop in this massive ocean called Tumblr, just swim on past and enjoy the waves without me if it bothers, I beg. There's also cursing. 18+ so minors, PLEASE, DNI!

Notes — Oh, this came out sooner than my last one, huh?? Mainly because I decided to split this into three parts instead of one big ol' one shot. I def learned my lesson lmao I had a lot of fun writing this, dialogue and banter are my fave things and there was a lot of that in this. Kinda fell in love with these two and planning on doing an actual multi-chaptered fic with them, how they met, all that jazz, let me know if it's something you'd want. Or not, if I get just one person like "yes, please" I'll do it bc people pleasing tendencies fuel me. I've left Reader pretty vague and ambiguous but we do have her mentioning Joseph's British-ness and obviously not living in the same continent because transatlantic romance is so rom com it hurts, but, feel free to ignore that and implant your own background on her, kinda the point, right?? Alright, hope you like this! Like, Reblog and Comment, they fuel me and make my heart go pitter patter!

Taglist — @lunaapis , @munsons-mayhem28 , @inourtownofhawkins , @hopperscock ( i fucking love this url you have no idea )

"What are you wearing?"

You hear an amused chuckle on the other end of the call, along with a distinct clicking of tongue. "...don't I get a hello first or are you missing me that much?"

A snort comes out your way, totally undignified, but he'd never call you out on it. "I mean, I am, but... Shut up." He's cackling now, that laugh that makes you smile stupidly and you're glad you're on an audio call rather than face time — though you wouldn't mind seeing his stupidly pretty face. "I'm serious, what are you wearing?"

"Why are you asking?" his voice strained, amused, but strained. He must be smiling, his laughter barely dying down.

Taking a deep breath, you explain, "Because I haven't seen you in a week and from the photos I've been seeing of you all day today... I need to prepare myself for when I see you tomorrow."

"I need you to repeat that, not the nonsense about my clothes but the...seeing me tomorrow bit."

Your eyes closed, lips stretching in a smile that, in the crowded room you were in the middle of, you tried to suppress. Teeth biting your lip, eyes cautiously looking around the party you were attending but your mind being on a man across the pond as it were, you let out a soft scoff. "....I need to prepare myself for when I see you tomorrow."

"Damn fucking right you will," his voice low, almost a growl that was...unfortunate, considering your surroundings. But more important, his tone was wistful. You heard the sound of gentle squeak, taking to mean that he sat on his bed, one that you missed very much at the moment. "I can't wait for that, and you will be needing to prepare yourself once we're alone... I fucking miss you."

"Mmm, your voice notes kinda gave that impression, yeah," you chuckled, hearing his as well. "Though I enjoyed hearing them when I wake up. It's lame, but, I do miss hearing your voice first thing in the morning." You hear him take a deep breath, exhaling with a soft hum. "Among other things. Hotel beds are just a bit too cold without you."

"Mhm, feeling the same way with my own bed, darling. Have to remind myself it's just been a week, but, feels a bit longer. Can't wait to have you back, though I know, temporarily."

"I know," this time it was you that sounded wistful. You knew you shouldn't, it was a good reason you'd be away from him. The latest in your book series was out there, digitally and in a week, in physical form. The gap between that and the previous book a bit too wide for your liking, or that of your publisher and readers. It was good that you finally finished it, but in that, included a tour of the book, which meant away from him, your sort of boyfriend. "At least you'll have me for a week, well, between your filming, anyway. Enough time for your friends to get sick of me and then wish I went away to have you to themselves again and for my friends to miss the me that isn't attached to your hip."

"Hah," he scoffed, a sound of a stretch that you could only assume was him laying down on his bed. "My friends are sick of me now, keep complaining about how I miss you. Even have Wes saying if I'm this needy without you, can't imagine how you handle me by your side, so, you've somehow got their sympathy and on your side, I'm the problem now, apparently." You couldn't hold in the laugh that barked its way out of you, and you could hear the offense even from the other line. "Oi. Don't laugh, you knew I was needy from the get go, I made no attempt to hide that."

Recovering from the laugh, you have a nod, though you knew he couldn't see, "Yeah, you are a bit of a clinger." Your smile still lingering, eyes soft, "But... It's...kinda one of your more endearing qualities, so... I'll take it."

"Oh, how gracious of you, accepting that I fucking adore you to the point of being miserable enough without you and getting on my friends fucking nerves"

He always made you laugh, you didn't even know if he intended to, but you could hear him laughing alongside you, so he must have, right? "God, hearing you curse is the best, y'know? You seem like a nice, proper boy, but then you curse and it..." You shake your head, "Makes me miss you more."

You heard him scoff, a wet sound, and you could almost see him licking his lips with a smile. "I know, dead sexy and all that... Hard to resist."

A shrug of your shoulders, more to yourself, of course, "...it kinda is. Makes me wanna do things to you to make you curse more..."

He groaned, which was also a lovely noise on its own. "Don't say things like that when you're not in grabbing distance, it's not fair."

You smiled, almost wickedly, eyes catching sight of your best friend, the only reason you were away from him at the moment. "Yeah, well, at least you're alone on your bed, I'm surrounded by people in my pretty dress, not getting grabbed and kissed by you and..." you trailed off as said best friend stopped in front of you, a pointed brow arched. You cleared your throat, smile still in place, "Which is totally fine, because I'm here to support my best friend and her crazy talented boyfriend on his birthday and album release and I'm totally fine with it."

"Mhm," she let out with a nod, "What I thought. Hi, Joe, can you two say goodbye because said boyfriend is gonna start up in a few minutes and I will not have you two have phone sex while he's performing, thank you."

"Excuse me!"

"You're not excused! You're so not excused — you're not allowed."

"That's just—" you were about to say rude when you very clearly hear the cackling on the other end of your call. "Stop laughing! You're not allowed to laugh right now, that's not fair."

"I'm sorry!" he let out, his voice thin, high, and you could hear an attempt to calm the laughter — but an attempt he did not win as more laughter came rolling out, making your lips twist and wanting to laugh despite yourself. Why did his laugh have to be so infectious sometimes? "I'll stop, I swear..." he continued, making you roll your eyes, looking at the smirking face of your best friend. "....oh, god... Tell Jen I said hello."

You couldn't help but let out a soft laugh, looking over at her, "The painfully British one says hello, because manners maketh the man I'm sure."

Jen cackled as well, shaking her head, "I'll give you two like, ten minutes, tops. You're introducing them, remember?"

"Of course. Ten minutes." A mock salute given, you watch as she turned toward the stage of the intimate venue, just a smaller group of closest friends. Taking a deep breath, directing your attention to your phone, "J o e."

"Oh, no, not Joe. I'm always in trouble when I get Joe instead of your usual Joseph."

"Damn right, that was not cool, I know we're not official, but, you have to have my back. It's the most chivalrous thing to do."

He snickered, "I'm... I'm sorry, I'm sorry! But, well," you heard him release a soft laugh, then heard, "...not to point fingers but you did start the conversation asking me what I was wearing... So was that...not where this was heading...?"

You clicked your tongue off the roof of your mouth very disappointingly, kind of. "No, you perv, I just wanted to know if my sort of boyfriend is going to continue dressing up as a slutty professor so I can figure out how to handle seeing that in person."

"I—" he started, but words cut off with a snicker, and then a proper laugh. "You—Okay. Several things. Don't fucking call me your sort of boyfriend. I am your boyfriend, just.... Well. Secret boyfriend. At least for now—"

"—until your publicist deems me worthy of being known to be dating you."

"No, just... Until we're more established, is all. And I am looking forward to that, taking you to events and such. I'd love to go to the book tour with you, show off how fucking proud I am of you and this book. But... I also don't want to overshadow your accomplishment, the way it's so mad right now. But I am your boyfriend, I know you say it in a joking manner with Jen and our friends, I get it, but... And it's fine to joke about it. Really. But I need you to know it's real for me and I hope it is for you, too. It... It is, isn't it?"

You smiled softly, his words warming your heart more than they should, once again blown away by his sense of sincerity. You never really dated anyone like that before and sometimes, it honestly takes you by surprise. "... Yeah, I know. And I don't mind it, honestly. I'd end things if I did... You're my boyfriend and I'm your girlfriend and...if my joking around hurt you in any way, then I'm sorry, you know I don't mean it. Not with something like this. You...mean a lot to me in a very short amount of time and...it's kind of overwhelming sometimes."

There was a soft sigh, a pleased one, from the other end of the call. "I know. I feel the same. Was never expecting you, or anyone, not like this. And no, you didn't hurt me, not one bit. There's no worry of that. I just needed you to know, I'm in this with you."

Though you certainly didn't need to hear it, there's a lightness from within your chest at his words, a light ease in your breathing and your soft smile grew wide. You didn't need him to confirm what you already knew, but, it was lovely to hear. "Me too. I'm in this, too. Especially if you're going to be sweet like that," you end with a light chuckle, joined by his own. "Not fair on your part. But, I'll let it pass."

"My girlfriend is very gracious like that, I'm so lucky to have her."

"Don't you forget it. Okay. I'm assuming you had more to say?"

"Yes, thank you for that. Was quickly getting side tracked... I just wanted it to be known that I am severely disappointed that phone sex is off the table, that broke my heart since we've been in an almost constant state of phone tag, its ridiculous," you giggled at that, actually giggled which was rare. And he knew it, you could hear his chuckle, and though you couldn't see him, you knew he was pleased with that smug little smirk on his lips. "But, I'll survive that. Also. Slutty professor? I've no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh, come on. You dress like a romantic, slutty professor to these things and you know it."

"I think someone's too far into their own erotica stories and confusing some things, I... Dress as a professional. I have to. My stylist deems it so and I just...do as I'm told."

"...Joseph. What were you wearing today, and don't lie, I've seen the pictures. I just wanna hear you say it."

"You're being absolutely ridiculous, I... My loafers, my favorite ones, trousers, erm... Blue button shirt and... Well, a cardigan..." There was a pause, and you knew he was rethinking it all. "...beige cardigan and.....my dark grey...coat—okay. Maybe... Maybe it was a bit professor-ish. You...might be on to something there..."

"Uh-huh. Dressed like a professor who cares and has long office hours for any of his students to come by to unwind..."

"Stop that," he let out with a laugh. "That should be your next book."

"Oh, who says it won't be? I'll dedicate it to you, for inspiration. I'm assuming you'd be open for me to come to you for...brainstorming? Test out scenes, just, y'know, for the sake of art and authenticity?"

"Morning, noon and night, yes, I'm all yours and your....creativity." He chuckled, softly, there was a lingering silence between the two of you, and then a groan from his end. "Just out of curiosity... Would... I dunno, say...a sweater vest, erm... Like....Oof, a grey one with a dark jacket, that um... Is that slutty professor chic, you think?"

"I fucking knew it."

"Hold on! It was... It was a thought... Are you into the slutty professor look, though?"

"Why do you think I called you in the first place? Yes, of course I'm into it. Do you know what it's like, seeing your pics all over my social media, people sending me pics of you with that cardigan and long coat and just... Do you?"

You could almost hear his smug smile as he let out an even soft chuckle. "I do, actually... You're wearing that burgundy dress aren't you?" Your brows rose, though you didn't say anything, not yet. A soft little hum buzzing into your ear through your phone. "I've been stalking your instagram the past week, so I saw the picture you posted today. It's that burgundy dress I like. The one with the bow at the hip and the... The matching choker with the jewelry that you think is almost tacky but... I like it. Gave me something to look at the other time you wore it, remember that? Was it New Years? Took you to an empty room right before countdown, lifted your skirt and—"

"S t o p, we're not doing that, not now," though you smiled, remembering the moment quite clearly, feeling your skin flush especially as he laughed then. He had such a nice, deep, warm laugh sometimes. "...okay, so, yes, I'm wearing that dress... It's not the same, though, like, aside from that choker you love so much, it's pretty tame in comparison..."

"Mm, not for me. I love that color on you. I love anything on you if it means I can take it off of you. And—a cardigan's tame. A long coat is tame."

"The hell a long coat is tame, that's... Anyway, you wear the slutty professor really well and it's not fair. Especially if you're going to to do tomorrow. After being away from you a week... That's cruel, baby. I won't even be able to touch you until the con's over." You heard him hum, probably thinking the very same. A thought comes, making you chuckle suddenly, "I should retaliate."

"...oh god," he let out, clearly recognizing when a wicked thought comes to mind. "Pray tell, how?"

"Why... Professor..."

"....Oh, fuck."

"Yup. By dressing up as one of your favorite students, of course."

"....jesus fucking christ." You heard a small groan, "God, you would, wouldn't you? I don't know if I could take that. It's been a week, body going in withdrawal without you and the sight of you with knee high socks..."

"Hmm. Telling that the knee high is the first thing you go to. Noted."

He chuckled, "Yes, well... The thought of you in knee highs is rather... I wouldn't take them off. Not the entire time."

Your smile widened, biting your bottom lip. "Yeah? Mmm. Well, good, because I'd definitely wear your favorite colors, just for you, Professor."

"Fuck off," he said softly, though, and when you laughed, you heard him let out a breath. "Shit. I can't shake the image, now. My favorite student, dressed so pretty for me. Looking nice and soft...with uh..." He exhaled, "Burgundy knee highs, snug and soft..."

You kept a careful eye around you, trying so hard to suppress your smile. But the sound of his voice was so...alluring, finding yourself squeezing your thighs a little bit. "Keeping up with the color theme, I see..."

"It is my favorite color at the moment, especially on you."

You hummed, "Okay. Question, knee highs or thigh highs?"

"No," his voice instant, "Gotta be the knee highs. I'd want... I'd want your thighs absolutely bare. For my fingers to run and roam over the skin... And...then, y'know... I wouldn't be able to resist to kiss you there as well. Gentle ones of course, but, being away from you this time...wouldn't be long until I start biting..."

A breathless laugh escapes you, now not even caring if anyone looked or listened in on you. It had been a while since you talked to him in real time, without having to push play, it was too good to cut away from. "For someone that says they can't write for the life of them, you're not doing too bad, Professor. You might give a run for my money if you ever decide to go into the erotica business."

"Mmm, tempting, but no. I'll leave that to you. It'd just be a novel of me fucking you and I'd rather have the real thing. But... Was I good enough to get you wet for me, darling?"

It shouldn't make you blush, you built your whole career in literary dirty talk and seducing your readers with your words... But when Joseph did it, his words and voice always struck you deep. Much deeper than any other partner had, which was slightly scary and mainly thrilling. You felt the heat creeping up your neck, a soft giggle being awarded to him. "....you know you are." You heard a pleased sigh from him, taking in a deep breath as you try to calm yourself. That no, sneaking off wasn't an option, that the growing ache between your legs would have to wait, even if you wouldn't have him talk you through it, guide you toward climax in the only way he could. But. "You got me wet and feeling it now every time I walk around in my pretty burgundy dress in a room filled with people."

"Well... I'm alone in my lonely room with a very bothersome hard on and... Probably feel lonelier still when we say our goodbyes and I'll only have my hand and thoughts of you in your pretty burgundy dress, wet, wishing I can feel just how wet you are."

You let out a breath, closing your eyes a moment. "...and I'd wish it was my hand, my mouth, on that...bothersome hard cock," you heard him groan, making your heart flutter, as well as your cunt. "Like I've been fantasizing this past week."

He took a deep breath, you could hear the exhale produce static on your end, a soft hum. "Same here, love. Suppose we'll be doing the same thing tonight..."

With a dejected sigh, you have an affirming hum, "Our ten minutes are about done. Otherwise I'd sneak to a room somewhere and..." You chuckled, "Tell you in excruciating detail the things I'd do to you to make you curse." His laugh comes out at that, making your smile spread further on your face. "But. I am due on stage to introduce my best friend's boyfriend and his band, so... She'd kill me if I missed that, and then would go and kill you, and no one wants that."

"No, no, we do not. That's fine. More to release when I see you tomorrow. Probably keep you to myself for the rest of the week, fair warning, darling."

"Yes, Professor. I'm very okay with that."

The way he groaned at that made your heart flutter again, as well between your legs. You did miss him, terribly, your fingers and toys did little to satisfy you, not without his warmth, his kiss, the moans you'd swallow and hunger for more. "...keep that up and I won't want you to call me anything else."

"Is it bad I kinda like it? P r o f e s s o r?"

He gave a helpless laugh, "Shit, it is. It's very bad of you. Naughty, even. Wicked. My poor coc—"

"Tomorrow, only until tomorrow. And then I'll make it up to you, in any way you want me to. I'll call you professor if you want me to."

"I knew there was a reason you're my favorite student..." You smiled and you could feel he was smiling too. "Okay. I'm going to give you back to your best friend, again. Thank her for me, for letting me have you to myself for this long."

"I will, she'll expecting nothing less. Think of me?"

He chuckled, and you could picture him shaking his head. "When am I not? Especially right now, left to my own devices... Until I have you to myself again." You heard him take a sharp intake of breath, "Have fun, yeah? I love you."

You felt like a teenager again, at the sound of those three words, said recently, right before you left. A slip of the tongue, but meant with sincerity from you both. "I love you, too. I'll see you... Bye."

"Bye, darling. I can't wait."

There was a heaviness that weighed on you as you ended the call, knowing it had to be you, otherwise you wouldn't end it at all. The warmth of his voice lingered, the image of his face imprinted on your brain, curling your fingers around your phone. A thought hitting you like lightning, going to messages and tapping quickly.

Send me a voice note. I wanna hear you.

He liked it.

Your smile widening as you turned around, dumping your phone into your purse and with your heels, made it toward the small stage where the band were setting up. Hands went to Jen's shoulders, hugging her from behind. "I'm all yours, now. He said thank you for letting him have me for the call."

She scoffed with a roll of her eyes, "Gross, you guys are gross."

"Shut up, we're cute." Jen seeming unconvinced. "Whatever, I'm happy."

Your best friend gave a shrug, "Then that's okay." You pulled away and stood beside her, and she took a breath. "He does seem to make you happy and... I don't hate that. Just the whole...secret relationship thing gives me pause." Crossing her arms, she looked to you, raising her brow. "Be honest.... You really okay with it? Because if you are, I'll back off and be one hundred percent for you guys. Because he is nice and seems crazy about you and I haven't seen you this happy in a while... I just don't want you hurt, y'know? I'm not being a bitch—"

"You're never a bitch—" you interjected, pausing as you two looked at each other, and you smirked. "Okay, well, yeah, you are, but for good reasons. A boss bitch, through and through." You paused a bit, giving a shrug of your shoulders. "I dunno. We talked about it... I kinda get it, he kinda blew up overnight and doing...so many things and I... I can't even imagine. I got booktok and like... Well, this book tour, but, obviously nothing on his level. He seems more concerned about if it came out, he'd overshadow my book and the press for it." Which you did appreciate, you worked hard, but part of the reason you got the book done as fast as you did was his encouragement. Being the first to read your pages, his excitement over the story you crafted holding a huge part. "It would have been nice to dedicate the book to him, but, since we aren't....out, didn't really feel right."

"Mmhm..."

"But. I don't know, at first it was kind of fun, sneaking around, dodging photographers, you know. Secret affair type of thing except not being horrible with spouses to cheat on, that kind of thing? And we were casual at first, seeing other people, until... We weren't and...not casual anymore. I mean, it's kind of still fun but also...not."

Taking a deep breath, she sighed. "And how long until it's not kind of fun for you?"

Looking over at her, you frowned, hating that she had a point. "I don't know. I'm not there yet... And I'm hoping it doesn't come to that because... I'm really fucking happy with him." Raising your brow, you give her a reassuring smile. "I'll be careful. And if I'm not, you can kick my ass about it."

"Deal," she agreed to, seeming a little lighter about the situation. "So, is he still going to dress all Mr. Darcy as a Professor when you see him?"

"I swear, he's a walking Jane Austen leading man, like it's just straight up Professor without him even trying." She laughed, you joining in. "It's gotta be a British thing, it has to." Laughing a bit harder, "I teased him with an idea, though, dressing up like a student."

"Oh? Oh, that'd be perfect. Are you meeting him after that con or...?"

A sly smile comes across your face, then, looking at her with a slight chuckle. "Mmm... Don't laugh, but... I actually planned on surprising him at the con?" Your smile widened as she gasped, looking at you agape. "I bought a photo and autograph with him. I knew there'd be no chance on the day of and I thought it'd be cute, you know? He doesn't know."

"Oh, God, I hate to say it, but that's fucking adorable! And kinda genius." Her eyes widened, "You know, though... I mean... The set up's too perfect, you have to dress all slutty student."

"Hey, slutty is for Halloween, I'd be dressed as his favorite student, with knee highs, he seemed very into that."

If her eyes could widen even further, Jen's would, letting out a bark of a laugh. "Oh my god, knee—no, no," shaking her head. "You are doing this. You are gonna do this. Listen...we're gonna make this happen."

"We don't have time, I'm getting the red eye, remember? And by the time this is over—"

But she was determined, shaking her head, "Nope, look. You're gonna introduce the band, because you are my amazing writer friend and words are your thing. We'll stay for a few songs, and then I'm going to take you shopping, okay? I'm making this happen, I'm gonna make this happen for you."

"I thought he gave you pause and you're gonna work this hard to make a fantasy come true for him?"

She wagged her finger from side to side, "Oh, no, no. Not for him, for you. Look, he seems great and he probably is, and maybe there will be a time where he's like a brother to me, but right now? I believe you when you say he makes you happy and that you're happy with him, I see it, so, I'm doing this for you. Because you are my best friend and that's love, bitch."

"I love you. Like... You'll always be my first love, in a totally platonic kind of way. Only because of the fact that you're annoyingly straight."

Jen sighed, "I know, it's a pain, but, we'll always have each other's backs and our hearts, before anyone else." Her gaze going toward the stage, her musician boyfriend giving her a nod, releasing a soft smile. "We didn't do so bad, though. You're up. Make me proud of my boyfriend, okay?"

"Oh, yeah, how do you want me to go about it? Soft and emotional, very serious or...roast him but from the heart?" You both looked at each other for a moment, the answer quite clear.

"Roast him."

for your consideration....

#words did come hither — writings #joseph quinn — writings #joseph quinn smut #joseph quinn fic #joseph quinn x fem!reader smut #joseph quinn x you #joseph quinn x reader

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oh-shtars · 6 months

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Hey Saph! @wings-of-sapphire/ @signed-sapphire

Stupid tumblr tends to glitch and not let me edit my drafts for some damn reason so sorry for the inconvenience and that it took so long. I have to screenshot your ask and my response down. 😭😭😭

- Interestingly enough, Mag’s main motive is not really to gain more power. (It’s still one of the benefits though, so sure. He’ll take power. Yayyy.) But most of the evil actions he does is out of vengeance. Losing his village took its toll on him. The universe turned its back on him so he feels like he’s justified to take something back for himself.

So now, he finds pleasure in putting others under distress in the same way he used to be.

- So as I said in my previous point, Magnifico loves toying/playing with his victims. Giving them that fake sense of hope and security just to see their look when they realise they’ve been fooled. (But this hypocrite hates being the laughing end of that stick lmaooo)

- He can be superficially charming and manipulative to get what he wants. But it is relatively easy to break down his facade compared to Amaya because of his anger issues.

- He would project his own insecurities/issues towards other people to lower their own self-esteem. An “I’m down, so other people are coming down with me” mentality.

- Just like Star, and being a parallel of Star, Magnifico assumes that people only really like him for what he could offer them. So he could be already suspicious and assuming the worst whenever you ask him for a favour. It’s a contradicting feeling. One, he loves the attention. But on the other hand, he’s so pissy on how ungrateful people are and always expect something from him no matter how much he tries.

(Especially with his belief that his father only valued him as a potential heir and never really saw him as a son. This isn’t true. Oliver is just horrible at communication)

- I imagine Magnifico’s relationship with King Oliver is similar to Shen and his parents from KFP2. How both believed their parents “hated them” for never reaching what was expected of them.

- Magnifico is highly likely to underestimate things and can be impulsive. Amaya usually helps with giving him some second-thoughts and opinions before he could go and do something stupid.

- Mag smiles at the smallest compliments and gets a tiny bashful at certain flirts.

- Magnifico does get symptoms of PTSD from time to time. He can be set off just with the look of uncontrolled fire and he overthinks and gets stressed when things are beyond his control in the kingdom.

(I am just now remembering Aled’s drawing of the Starboys burning the kitchen down. Hmmmmm……)

…….

And tbh, that’s really all I could think of right now. Idk, he makes more sense in my head and I think it will click when I actually start to get into writing his scenes. I’ve made him quite complex that even I couldn’t put it into proper words. 😅

But if you really want to get to know his vibe, I think these songs might help give you an idea. The first one is like, my go-to song when I think of RFTS!Mag’s character though:

………

Also, @signed-sapphire, I read through your TFS!Au and if I understood it correctly, our Magnifico’s are basically:

“I’ve suffered through so much, so I’ll do anything I could to keep our people safe and not let it happen again.”

Vs.

“I’ve suffered through so much, so the ungrateful btches of this kingdom will feel my wrath because I say so-“

Saph.

Look me in the eyes. Are you sure our AUs aren’t made to be this hilarious Swap!version of the other or something? This is getting freaky-

#disney wish #reach for the stars au #rfts au #wish rewrite #wish 2023 #wish au #wish reimagined #wish magnifico #Spotify #au lore #au dump #ask

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anonymouse1312437 · 10 months

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Meet & Greet

~ Explicit! E is not for everyone! 18+ Only!

Minors DNI

This contains fluff and Smut

Please be nice I am just getting back into writing fanfics. I hope you enjoy! ~

Word count: 8,398 words

Random Matthew Lillard Smut/fluff

Today is the day I am going to meet my favorite celebrity. | can't wait to see this grown man. All of his work is impeccable. My favorite is when he played a secret serial killer. Ghostface. Scream is my favorite horror film. Stu Matcher. One of the best Ghostface in the series. He made a great William Afton. Matthew Lillard is by far my favorite male actor. The people in line before me waiting to meet the wonderful person started to quiet down. He must have arrived.

"Hey everyone, I want the ones who are disabled or somehow on the spectrum to make their way to the front of the line"

Matthew himself hollered. I saw a few people shift and move to the front of the line with nervous jitters.

He truly is amazing. What a kind thing to do. I was in two other lines before, and they did not do that. The line moved somewhat quickly but, he tried his best to spend time with each person but, the staff continued to rush him. The closer I got to him I could tell he was getting increasingly frustrated. It was not with his fans but with the convention workers.

"Next in line please.” A blonde angry looking woman said.

I was almost at the front of the line. There were two people in front of me still. I was almost able to get an autograph and picture with him. So very close.

"You know what, I need a break right now. I am getting very upset." I heard him say to a different staff member.

"Alright everyone, Mr. Lillard is going to take a break. He will resume in an hour. sorry for the inconvenience." A parade of fans sighed. some of them got angry and stormed off. I, however, stayed put. The two people in front of me also stepped out of line. Making me the first person for when he returns. I did not want to wait another hour in line again if I could avoid it. I sat on the floor and took out my phone to play on it while I waited. I opened Tumblr and decided to read some of the fanfic others have written about him.

Twenty minutes passed by and as I moved on to the next little story about him, I noticed it was a more explicit writing. I loved reading the smut about him. I managed to get through most of it and had gotten to the words,

"And he growled and moaned into my ear as he thrusted into me harder as he filled me with his cum.” As someone cleared their throat behind me. Great, this is slightly awkward. I locked my phone and set it on my lap.

I looked behind me and followed the tall figure up to the head of the person behind me and my jaw dropped open. It was him. Matthew Lillard. Shit. How long was he standing there? I started to feel my cheeks get warm. I am so embarrassed.

"That looked like an interesting read." He said and smiled down at me. I don't think I can even form words right now.

"I especially liked the ending." He chuckled. I smiled a little. I stood up and put my phone in my back pocket.

"I couldn't be more embarrassed. Hey, my name is y/n." I smiled at him still blushing like a mad person.

"Nice to meet you. Why don't you come sit over here at the table with me." He said.

I followed him over to the table.

"Is this allowed I don't want to get you into any trouble. I also don't want to impose or ruin your break." I said. I really do not want to take up his time to relax or embarrass myself more than I already have.

"Don't worry. It’s fine. I have another forty minutes of free time and if I want to spend it with a friend I will." He said. Damn it! I was able to get my blushing under control finally and now I am blushing again. For being in my twenties my reactions don't act like it.

"So, what is your favorite movie? " He asked.

"Overall? Or something you were in?" I questioned. He gave me a big smile.

"Overall." He kept the same smile on his face.

"Okay I would say my favorite is a rom-com. 50 first dates. I think Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore make the best on screen couple even if the movie over all is incredibly cheesy. Now, my favorite horror movie would be Scream." I said proud of my answer.

"That is a pretty good movie. Now, you don't have to throw the scream movie out there to boost my ego." He laughed a little.

"Oh, I mean it. It's a good movie." I smiled at him. “I am sure you know that though. You happen to be my favorite actor.” I said sheepishly. He blushed a little.

“Now you really are trying to boost my ego, aren’t you? No need to do that. I mean it’s nice but, you don’t have to.” He said with a smile.

“I mean it’s the main reason I came to comic con this year. I was not going to if I did not think it was going to be worth it. Meeting you definitely made it worth it. I bought the tickets so last minute that I didn’t think I would get a chance to buy the photos with you. Sorry. I will try to calm down the super fan thing.” I said, trying to calm down the excitement. He just laughed lightly and tried to hide his blush, but it crept onto his cheeks.

“Mr. Lillard, is this fan bothering you? Also, it’s only about five minutes until the signings and photos start back up.” The blonde angry looking lady said.

“No, they are fine. They are not bothering me. That is quite all right thank you for the five-minute warning.” he said, smiling at her and she walked off. “It’s really all right. It happens by the way. I’m kind of used to it. Eventually the shock of it will wear off. I’m just like you in many ways, I’m sure. Just a different job is all.” He said. I’m sure he is trying to ease my comfort but, that doesn’t help at all.

“I don’t mean to pry but, are you feeling all right? It almost seemed like you were a bit frustrated which kind of sprang on the need for a break.” I said almost mumbling the last part.

“Definitely a little frustrated. I don’t like to be rushed when meeting fans. You all paid a lot to do the autographs and photos and rushing it really is wrong. I don’t like it when the staff pushes people to rush. It’s also how people get hurt and I really don’t want that.” He said. “Time flies though when you have someone nice to talk to. Even if they are fanning over you. Mind if I ask how old you are?” He questioned me.

“I am twenty-five. I guess I'm still technically in my prime but, you know how life goes. I don’t exactly act like it.” I smiled. “Maybe I should get out of your hair. You are going to get busy again. I am feeling a little selfish right now because I definitely got more time than I should have with you.” I smiled.

“Well, wait. You also were in line for everything what did you want me to sign?”

“Oh, I was going to have you sign on my arm if that’s okay?” I don’t want to creep him out but, I want to get it tattooed.

“Are you planning to tattoo it?” He asked. Damn I know I am not the only one to think of it, but I don’t want him to say no. I also don’t want to lie to him either. I nodded my head and he smiled at me again.

“Alright. That’s definitely some pressure then. I cannot mess it up.” He laughed louder. I held out my left arm and he started to look at the other tattoos on it.

“Where did you want it?” He asked.

“Right next to the semi-colon.” I smiled at him. He grabbed my arm and started to sign his name, so it was facing me. Once he finished signing his name, he stepped away from me.

“And your picture?” He said. I pulled my phone out and pulled my camera up.

‘Here let me see if you don’t mind.” He said holding out his hand to grab my phone. I let him have my phone and he started to take photos of us. He took like ten photos of the two of us and handed my phone back. I put my phone into my back pocket to make sure I didn’t lose it.

“It was really nice talking to you today. Thank you for keeping me company. I appreciate it.” He said and pulled me in for a hug. I gave him a hug and pulled away.

Oh, my goodness it was that amazing. Best day ever. I waved goodbye and walked off as I saw a bunch of people start lining up again for autographs and photos.

I spent the next two hours going through the convention and buying some stuff from the vendors. After that I felt pretty tired and I had paid to stay in the hotel across the street. The Hyatt was a pretty nice hotel and subway was next to it but, there was also a bar within walking distance. I started to make my way to the hotel and went to check in at the front desk.

I handed my card over to the receptionist and she verified that it was me and handed over my key card. I went up to my room 304 and opened the door. I stepped inside to the first hotel room I rented by myself. It was beautiful. It had a king bed. A beautiful white plush duvet and fluffy pillows on the bed. A nice flat screen TV on a dresser and lamps that hung off the wall. It was beautiful. I walked over to the bed and plopped down on it. I know my house is only 30 miles away but, this was a great idea. I love a stay cation. I just laid on the bed ignoring the world for twenty minutes before finally taking my phone out of my pocket and opening up the gallery. I started to flip through the pictures from today and after a few minutes got to the ones Matthew took of the two of us. He was so tall. So very handsome. He still looked similar to when he was working on five nights at Freddy’s. The black hair, his salt and pepper beard. The mustache. It was all there. He looked like he was muscular. The hug only confirmed how he has the perfect amount of muscle but wasn’t ridiculous. He didn’t have abs but he doesn’t need them. He is perfect the way he is. Fuck me. I push myself off of the mattress and stand back up. I open my backpack and pull out a couple of outfits. What do I want to wear tonight?

My options are a black skinny Jeans and a crop top. Or shorts and a t-shirt. Both go great with my tennis shoes. I have two extra pairs of socks and some boots in my bag as well. That was fun taking this through the security check. I’ll decide later. I am just going to shower really quick and rinse off and then I’ll get ready to go grab something to eat.

I pull my hair tie off my wrist and put my hair up. I walk into the bathroom and turn the shower on. I made sure to put it on hot water and grabbed the wash rag the hotel provided and the body wash. I got undressed and stepped inside of the shower. I started to wash myself and then I remembered about his autograph on my arm. Shit. Shit. Shit. No. God damn it. No!

I looked next to my semi colon and half of it was already washed off. Fuck me. That really sucks. I meant to not get that part wet and I messed it up. How fucking dumb of me. I finished up the shower with tears rolling down my cheeks. That fucking sucks. I mean I still have the memory of today but, that won’t last forever. The tattoo was going to last forever.

I guess it will be fine. I got put of the shower and dried off. I went back over to the bed and reached for the t-shirt and shorts. I put on a new pair of socks and put my shoes on. I took the hair tie out of my hair and shook it out. My curls came back to life. I hated makeup so I opted to not wear any tonight. I think I look better without it anyway. I grabbed my phone off of the bed and slid it into my back pocket and grabbed my wallet and slid that into my other back pocket. Alright time to go to the bar. I need a drink after washing off the autograph like an idiot.

I made my way out of the hotel and walked a block away to the bar. Once I walked in I heard the music faintly in the background. It was I want to rock and roll all night by kiss. I could karaoke to this song if I was drunk enough. I made my way over to the bar and sat down on a stool. I waited for the bartender to make their way over to me.

“Is this seat taken?” Someone poked me on my right shoulder and gestured to the right of me.

“Not at all.” I said. He was handsome. He was pale and slender. Had blue eyes and dirty blonde hair. He looked like he was around my age.

“My name is Daniel. Can I buy you a drink?” He said.

“Hey I’m y/n and I don’t see why not.” I said with a smile. He gestured to have the bartender come over.

“I would like a vodka soda and she would like-“ He motioned to me.

“I would like a whiskey please.” I said and Daniel looked at me with a smile. The bartender nodded and walked off to make us our drinks.

“Wow a strong drink and not a mixed drink. That’s pretty hot. I’m not going to lie to you.” I smiled at his comment.

“Thank you. I like my drinks strong. Helps get rid of any mistakes I might make or have made.” I said as my drink was handed to me by the bartender. Daniel handed the bartender his card and quickly paid for the drinks.

“Hey do you mind if I sit next to you?” I heard someone say. There is a familiarity to this person’s voice.

“Yeah sure.” I said again refocusing my attention to Daniel.

“You here by yourself tonight?” He asked me. I don’t want to say yes. He seems nice but, I don’t get a great feeling from him.

“No my friend is just in the bathroom. She should be here any moment with her boyfriend and his friend.” I said.

“Oh so like a double date?” He asked.

“Yeah I guess you could say that.

“Oh okay, well I will get out of your hair then. Sorry.” He said. I smiled as he made his way away from me.

I drank the rest of the whiskey and was getting ready to flag the bartender over but the person on my left flagged them down and ordered a bourbon.

"Do you mind topping off this young woman's drink.” He added and pointed to me.

"Oh thank you for doing that I could have done that. " I said and finally looked at who sat next to me. It took a minute for my brain to register that it was Matthew Lillard.

"Decided against getting it tattooed huh?" He said with a slight smile.

"No, believe me I was upset when I realized I forgot that it was there and half of it was gone already. I was going to try and go back to your panel tomorrow to see if you could autograph it again." I said and looked down at my wrist.

"Well here." He grabbed my wrist and pulled a marker out of his pocket and signed next to my semi colon again. He added a small heart next to it and that made me smile big. My cheeks got red as I started to blush.

"I knew that was gonna make you blush!" He laughed and I grabbed my face in an attempt to hide my cheeks.

"Stop it. I never blush and today I just can’t stop. I only ever blush if I think someone is extremely attractive.” I threw that in there to see if he would also blush and it worked. He was blushing and it was really cute to see. I pulled my hands away from my face.

"Now we are even!" I smiled at him. The bartender came back and handed us our drinks. I pulled my wallet out of my back pocket and pulled out my card. I started to hand it to the bartender but Matthew pushed my hand down and offered the bartender his card.

"Absolutely not. Let me pay. Including your drink." I said.

"No way. I don't mind buying. You have managed to make what was going to be a rather frustrating day to a good day. This is my way of thanking you.” He smiled saying every word.

"Well, thank you. Have you eaten dinner yet?" I asked. I really hope he says no. I would like to eat up my time with him,

"I have not. I don't know what's around here outside of the subway next to my hotel." He said and I couldn't hide my blush or smile. "Well that and it's hard to enjoy a night out without people stopping and asking to take a picture with me." He added.

"Well it might be a little forward of me but, if your open to it maybe we could order something and hang out at my hotel." I immediately felt like a creep. "I'm sorry I just thought that it would be private so you wouldn't have to deal with everyone else. I understand how creepy I must sound. I am really sorry.” I said and started to drink my whiskey again.

"I actually would like that. That is if it's still an option." He said downing the rest of his drink. I sat therein shock. He said yes. Did I leave anything embarrassing out? I don't think I did.

“Yeah let's go then. But, I get to pay for dinner." I said and saw him smile. I stood up and put my wallet in my pocket and double checked that my phone was still in my pocket. I made my way out of the bar with him following me. He stepped to the side of me and walked in tandem with me.

"What did you want to eat?" He asked me.

"I am up for anything what would you like to eat?" I asked.

"I could also go for anything. Subway is right there we can go order really quick and take it there.” He offered.

"Sure." I said and walked with him into subway. As we heard the chimes from he door one of the workers looked up from their phone. It was an hour until closing so it makes sense that they are not busy and have been on there phones.

"Hello what can I get started for you today?" The worker asked. He motioned for me to go first.

"I would like a six inch sub on italian herbs and cheese with pepper jack cheese toasted please." I said and she started to make the sandwich and put it in the toaster.

"And for you Sir?" She asked Matthew.

"I will just get the same thing she is getting to make it simple.” he said and she nodded.

"Are you sure? I am about to get a really bland sandwich." I mentioned.

"Yeah it will be fine." He said.

Once the toaster was done I added ham and turkey, mayonnaise and mustard and that was it. She made sure both sandwiches were made the same way and walked us down to the checkout.

"Alright did you want to add chips and a drink to your order today?" she asked.

"Yes two large drinks and two chips." I said and walked over to the chip shelves they have and grabbed some of the cool ranch doritos and looked back at him to see what he wanted and he motioned for the same chips. I turned back around to grab the chips when I heard her ask him if it was going to be cash or card and he responded with card. When I turned around I quickly moved to his side and bumped him out of the way lightly. I pulled out my wallet and grabbed my card and used the tap to pay and put my card away. Matthew sighed and put his card back in his wallet. He grabbed the sandwich bag with our chips and I grabbed the cups.

"What would you like to drink?" I asked him. He looked over his options for a moment.

"A sprite is fine.” He said.

I filled up both of our cups with ice and sprite and we headed out of the store. I walked him to the hotel next door and walked over to the elevator. He followed behind me.

"This is your hotel?" he asked while looking at me.

"yes it is why?” I asked.

"This is also my hotel for the next couple of nights." He said.

"That is pretty cool. At least when you get sick of hanging out with me it won't be a long walk to your hotel." I smiled.

"I am sure I won't get sick of you.” He added.

Well shit. That made me blush again. I hope he doesn't ditch me too soon. If I am Iucky he won't ditch me at all tonight. Once the elevator doors open up on the third floor I walk us over to my door. He grabbed one of the drinks from my hand in order to help me free up my hands to get my key card. I got my wallet out of my back pocket and opened it up and grabbed my key card. I tapped it on the door and it unlocked. I stepped into the room holding the door open for him.

“Wow. It’s nice in your room. I mean it's nice in mine too but, I guess I just expect it to be different some how and it's not." He said. I giggled at his observation and sat on the bed and sat the drink on the end table. I grabbed the remote and turned the TV on. I flipped through the channels on the TV until I found a movie. It was Blended. Another good Adam Sandler movie.

“Is this okay?” I asked him.

“Yeah that’s a good movie. I have seem it many times and it makes me laugh every time.” He said still standing up. I pat the bed next to me as an indication to come sit down and he moved to that side of the bed and set his drink down on that end table. He sat the bag of food next to me and sat on the bed. He bent over and undid his shoes and then moved to lean against the headboard and propped his feet up on the bed. I grabbed the bag and handed him a sandwich. I pulled out my sandwich and opened it up. I took a bite and realized that maybe eating subway was a bad idea. I wrapped the sandwich up and put it on the end table. I took a drink and moved the chips to the end table too. A few minutes into the movie he was rolling his sandwich paper into a ball and threw it towards the garbage. He managed to make it in but, left the chips on the end table. He took a drink of his soda and put it back on the end table. He moved a little closer to the middle of the bed which meant he was closer to me. I took another drink myself and set it back down. I readjusted myself closer to the middle of the bed without trying to touch him.

“Was your day good at least?” He asked me.

“Yeah it was actually pretty good. It’s actually been my first relaxing day in a while.” I said.

“Well that’s good. If this was your relaxing day what is a normal day for you?” He asked looking at me.

“Well I’m a accounting major so I am mainly in the books as a full time job and on my free time I’m an author. I switch between writing romance books and fanfiction if I’m truly bored or need something to get rid of the writers block.” I said and smiled.

“Well your day job sounds a bit boring and hard and if you write for fun in your free time does that mean you have something published? Even if fanfiction is your answer that technically counts.” He said chuckling towards the tail end of that.

“I just published my first book a month ago. I haven’t advertised it the way I should. I am supposed to start advertising it this week during one of my days off. But, I am a bit nervous because I used a lot of real life inspiration behind it. Which means it can go one of two ways with the public. My day job is not boring it’s just not for everyone I suppose. I’m a numbers person. I enjoy doing mathematical stuff all day. It’s actually a bit relaxing for me.” I said.

“Wow, a nerd at heart then. You don’t find that a lot these days.” He said with a big smile on his face.

“I love being a nerd. It’s my favorite. I mean don’t get me wrong if I’m not working or writing, I’m reading or playing games. I prefer board games and card games over video games but, some times I play those too. Or I crochet. Which has become another favorite past time. I’m sorry I babble a lot.” I say now looking towards my hands.

“It’s really okay. It’s nice to hear that you not entirely crazy. You know liking math is something that makes you crazy. Everything else makes you human. Well I mean the fanfiction is questionable. Depends on what you write about.” He laughed a little bit.

“I mean I write it all. I have no shame about writing inappropriate things. My romance book is a dark romance. It’s full of erotic scenes. Which is why fanfiction sometimes helps me get past my writers block.” I add a little more honestly.

“So does that mean you have written about me? Or any of the characters I have played?” He asked and looked at me with a big grin. I couldn’t look at him. A smile crept onto my face and I tried to cover my face quickly but he saw me blush right away.

“You have written about me.” He started to laugh a little harder. “Okay, now was it me or a character or yes like all of the above?” He asked and I felt my cheeks get even more red. “Oh its been all of them. Can I read one? Or even two? Please? I just want to see what your writing style is like.” He said and my jaw dropped and I let my hands fall from my face.

“Oh absolutely not. I may enjoy writing it but, I could never imagine you reading something I wrote. I knew there was always a chance you might see it one day but, having you read it directly next to me? I think I will pass. Absolutely not.” I said laughing through it nervously.

“Maybe you could read it to me then? Skip the parts you don’t want me to know?” He asked again this time batting his eyes.

“That would be the entire thing. No way. I would rather you read them by yourself. I couldn’t read that out loud to you.” I noted.

“Are you shy about what you wrote or is it that filthy?” He smiled a bit at me. “What character of mine do you write the most about?” I know who I have written about more than enough times to tell him but, what does that say about me? Yes Stu might be my favorite but when writing scenes it’s always William afton. Something about the depiction is the best. Do I say it? Do I not? Oh my God. I think I’m going to say it.

“If it’s not you as yourself then I guess it would be William Afton. Stu Matcher may be my favorite but writing wise it’s gotta be William Afton.” He laughed a bit at my response.

“I am already embarrassed as is. You don’t have to laugh too.” I started to laugh myself to try and hide my blush but, it fails. I shrink back into the bed and hide my face with my hands and rest my head on the pillow.

“Don’t be embarrassed everyone has their preference. But what is it about that character? Or me? Like what vibe do you get that you write about? I want to know if it’s accurate to what actually happens with me.” He asked.

“I would say with you if your talking about the dynamic and style I would say your adaptive to your person. What ever they want you want to give them. So if the person your with wants a rough ride you give it to them or if they want soft or a mix that’s what you do. Now William I see him being more of a dominating person. The man that says get on your knees and take it or I’m going to make you take it kind of person. I don’t know I guess that’s what kind of vibe I get.” I say. I stand up and take my wallet and phone out of my back pocket and set it inside the drawer of the end table. I don’t need it right now anyway. I bent down and took off my shoes while I was at it and sat back on the bed next to him. My leg brushing against his leg.

“You are so fucking tall. Your legs alone are a half a foot to a foot longer than mine.” I giggled.

“Or you are just incredibly short. What are you 5’5?” He laughed and started to focus on the TV a bit more.

“I wish I am 5’3 that two inches is much necessary for my height. It would make a difference to have an additional two inches somewhere.” I laughed and quickly realized how that must have sounded.

“Oh god that sounded awful.” I started to laugh a bit too hard at my own wording. He started to crack up and patted my leg when he started to calm down. If only he had hit my thigh a little further up. The skin contact is much wanted.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get physical with you.” He said as he pulled his hand from my leg.

“I didn’t mind one bit.” I said with a little grin on my face.

“Alright missy. Calm down now. If I don’t get to read one then I’m not trying to create one.” He said and I immediately turned red. What did he just say? If he doesn’t get to read one then he isn’t trying to create one? Uhm yes please. I don’t know if he is teasing me but, maybe I can do it back and see how far it goes.

“Oh don’t tempt me like that. I know when to stop being embarrassed and show off my writing when I’m threatened with a good time.” I smiled and looked towards the TV.

“Then let me read one if you think you can do that.” He said and smiled towards the TV. I turned towards the end table and pulled my phone out. I unlocked it and opened up my tumblr and went to my latest fanfic about him and handed him my phone. It was a William Afton based one so this should be interesting. He grabbed my phone and started to read it. He is kind of like me in the sense of how ling it takes to read something. It took a minute before I saw him scrolling down. The ending is more or less the filthy part of it. The choking, gagging, ass smacking and grabbing. The bruising every aspect of it was utter filth. I enjoyed writing it. He started to shift a little as he was reading parts of it and I am trying my best to not stare at him while he reads. I kept trying to focus on the scene on front of me when Drew Barrymores character is putting makeup on the little blonde girl. He cleared his throat next to me so I looked out of the corner of my eye and saw he was towards the bottom already. He shifted again pulling at a pant leg. Almost like a readjustment but I didn’t want to assume. I started to get antsy because I knew he was done with the one at this point but he clicked off of that and started to read a second one. This one I knew was Stu Matchers. That one was a bit darker and more sadistic in nature. That one was bound to be more of a red flag about me if anything. A few more minutes pass before I look over and this time I notice him reading one about himself that I wrote. No character needed or necessary. It was just him. Being a rough person from behind and getting more adventures. He cleared his throat again before handing me back my phone.

“I would say you definitely have a way with words. They are pretty good. I would also say you have the characters nearly spot on with what I think they would like. It’s interesting to know that I can convey it that way without having to I guess show it in that way.” He said again shifting and letting one of his legs off of the best and sitting himself further up.

“Are you okay? You seem a bit restless?” I asked him.

“Yeah I am fine. It’s just those were very detailed.” He said hiding a blush.

“Oh so are you? I mean never mind.” I started to laugh. Uh oh. I did warn him I write that sort of material so this is his own fault. I looked over and his eyes were closed and he looked like he was trying his best to subside this new feeling in the room. I looked back at the TV and thankfully it was at another funny part so I started to laugh and put my hand on his thigh. I have seen this movie plenty of times to know even though it is funny I wouldn’t actually be laughing anymore. I felt the muscle in his thigh tighten and I gave it a light squeeze and just lightly pulled my hand off of his thigh.

Once my hand left his leg he stood up. I pressed my luck to far. I knew it. Shit. He is going to bail. I should have left it as is. We were having a good time.

“Please don’t start this. Don’t actually start this. It’s been awhile for me and I’m an incredibly lonely man in that sense. I am eating up all the attention you are giving me right now and you are half of my age. I have been alone for awhile now. All of my stuff is public so I am sure you know that I am completely alone and this attention. Yeah I’m loving every part of it but, of you start and I lean into it please don’t take it back.” He said looking at me talking with his hands. I saw the veins in his neck tighten a little and he was shifting his weight between his feet almost like he was rocking himself. I stood up and got close to him. I was only an arm distance away from where he was standing and I closed the gap.

“I didn’t mean to start it but, I would really like to continue if you let me. I’m sure as hell not going to want to stop either.” I said reaching out for him. He was in a standard black t-shirt and washed our blue jeans. I started to play with the hem of his shirt while looking at the bottom of it. I wanted to try and take his shirt off of him but, before I could I felt his right hand touch my neck. He added a little force to the back of my neck and pulled me the rest of the way toward him and looked down towards me and forced my head to look up towards him. He closed the gap and leaned down and kissed me. It wasn’t something cheesy. It wasn’t magical it was full of lust and desire. Right in this moment he wanted this as badly as I did.

He let his tongue slowly glide against my bottom lip and I opened my mouth a little more for him. He deepened the kiss a little more and his left hand started to rest on my waist. I felt a little pressure coming from his left hand and realized the was trying to push me backwards towards the bed. I kept my footing and again made an attempt to take his shirt off again. This time I was more successful. He pulled away from me and pulled his shirt over his head. He reached for my shirt and pulled it off of me. He closed the gap between us again and started kissing me again pulling at the button on my shorts. He managed to get the button undone and he attempted to push them down around my hips but I stopped him. I pushed him away from me slightly and pulled my shorts off myself. while I was down there I also took off my socks. In a swift movement I fell down onto my knees and undid his pants and pulled them down to his ankles and he kicked them off along with his socks.

| pulled him closer to me and slowly ran my fingers up his thigh and stopped both my hands when they got to his hips. I moved my right hand to his penis and gripped it at the base.

"You don't have to- " He started to say but. I cut him off by lightly licking the tip of his cock and circling my tongue around the head of his penis. Wrapping my lips around the head once I was done enjoying the moan it pulled from him.

"Fuck me.” He mumbled in a low moan.

That's what is egging me on right now. What an amazing sound. I wonder what sound I will get from him when I do this. I slowly move my head in a back and forth motion and finally thrust my head forward and bury his cock down my throat making me gag a little as I get to the base of his cock. I ran my tongue out past my bottom lip and lick his balls as best as I can. A growl escapes the back of his throat and a moan follows as his hands rush to the back of my head holding it there. He is by no means a small or average sized man. I just buried at least eight to nine inches down my throat.

“Fuck, fuck, okay" He said with a moan following each word. He finally released the grip from my head and reached for my arm and pulled me up towards him. He leaned down and started to kiss me again this time pushing me back into the bed.

"My turn. Crawl up to the middle of the bed.” He said in a hushed tone. I immediately shifted my weight onto my arms and pulled myself to the middle of the bed and watched him follow.

“Hand me a pillow.” He motioned for a pillow beside my head and I gave him one. He crawled between my legs and pulled my waist up and plopped the pillow under it and my ass. He got back off of the bed and laid directly in front of me on his stomach with his head between my legs. I didn’t prepare for this. I had stubble on my vagina. I was not prepared for it to have a conversation with anyone.

“Fuck you look so good.” He said. I thought I was going to swoon harder. Before I could give an honest attempt to try and stop him from dining in on my pussy he dove right in. He glided his tongue up against my labias and wrapped his lips around them biting them lightly. He repeated the motion a couple of times before running his tongue flat against my clit. I threw my head back at the feeling and a deep moan escaped from me. One I have never made before. He continued the three motions before humming against my clit and drawing circles and the alphabet on it. He bit down on my clit which felt so good I reached down and slid my fingers into his hair and held him at that spot to have him do it again.

“Oh fuck. That feels really good." I said. Talking isn’t my strong suit during sex. He hummed against my clit again and I felt his left hand leave my right thigh. He nibbled on my clit again and started to push a finger in from his left hand. Fuck. I can tell how he has barely gotten to his first knuckle. He started licking and massaging my clit more as he got to his second knuckle and another bite when he got to his third knuckle. He thrusted that finger in and out of me until I could no longer feel every detail of his finger and then he added a second and went again. I felt dangerously close to an orgasm already. He started to move the two fingers inside of me in an up and down motion against the softer part of the top of my pussy. It felt like it was on the other side of my clit. That's a new feeling.

"Fuck. Oh fuck." I said panting and moaning between each word. There is a lot of pressure building up against me right now.

"Oh god. Fuck me." I can't stop whats about to happen. It feels like waves are crashing down. I get louder with the moans and I start to fell like I soaked my bed all of a sudden. What the fuck was that?

"Fuck me that was so fucking hot.” Matthew said and crawled up so he was now hovering over me. He leaned down and started to kiss me again.

" Damn it." He said. "I don't think I have a condom." He mentioned.

"I don't have one but, I am clean and l have an IUD as birth control. I am not going to get pregnant. I'm good with this if you are.” I said and he looked at me. I can't read his expression right now.

" If not I can go back to su- " I was in the middle of my sentence when he cut me off by kissing me again. He rested his weight on his left arm and lined himself up with my vagina. He slowly started to thrust into me and the thickness of his cock started to stretch me open.

"Oh fuck." My eyes closed and my head fell further back onto the pillow.

"Fuck you are so tight around me” He moaned out.

I could feel the tip just barely get past the opening. As he thrusted further I could feel the veins on his cock. He kept going slow until I felt his balls against my ass and his head dropped down to my neck. He started to pull his cock out and when the tip felt the breeze from inside the room he thrusted himself inside the deeper and faster. He continued to be rough with me on my back.

"Wait – Please wait." I panted out.

"Can I get into a better position for this Please?" I asked. He crawled off of me and readjusted myself on all fours in front of him. I fucking love doggy style. I felt his hand lightly trace my ass before taking it off. I felt it come back down with force across it and a deep moan came out of me. He positioned himself back into me. Now resting his hands on my hips. He started to thrust forward into me but pulling my hips into him forcing his cock even deeper inside of me. I bit my lip to keep from screaming out.

"Fuck you feel so damn good!" He said between thrusts. He moved his right hand to the small of my back and put his left hand into my hair and pulled me to sit up against him.

“Who am I right now in your mind darling ?" He asked holding me against him.

" You are you. Matthew." I said not really sure what he means.

"Try again" He thrusted harder into me. Moving his left hand from my hair to my throat squeezing it.

"Who are you fucking right now darling? Tell me." He said repeatedly slamming into me. His grip on my throat getting stronger. As he slams back into me his right hand snakes around the front of me and starts massaging my clit. Oh fuck he is hitting that spot again.

"Tell me." He moans into my ear nibbling it.

"William Afton." I say moaning it out. The last scene I wrote on the fanfic. I get it now.

"It got me so hard." He thrusted into me again. The feeling coming back of a wave crashing was just a thrust away.

"Lay on your back. I want to see what you look like when you squirt around my cock."

He pulled out of me and I immediately laid on my back opening my legs for him. He quickly repositioned himself again and thrusted into me and found the right spot, He started thrusting against it hard and fast and within seconds I felt my toes curl. Oh fuck. Oh god. I started to shake a little under him.

"That's it. Squirt all over my cock." He moaned into my ear and bit down on my neck.

"Oh fuck." I felt every gush leave my body.

"Oh fuck yes. I am going to cum." He moaned into my ear his pace picking up. He moaned really loud and I started to feel every drop fill me up. I had a smaller orgasm at the feeling. I grinded a little against him to get the last bit of friction I so desperately wanted.

"Oh god. That was amazing. Thank you." He said and slowly pulled himself out of me hissing as it finally felt the cold air again. I can't believe that just happened. He rolled off of me and onto his back.

I went to sit up but immediately felt sore. Fuck the button half of me hurts.

"Let me help you." He said and got up. He walked into the bathroom and grabbed a new wash cloth and wet it. He brought it back into the room and wiped up the mess he made between my legs.

"Fuck, that was cold." I said and laughed. He smiled and put the ray back in the bathroom but on the floor of the bathtub so it didn't make another mess. He walked back over to the bed and got under the covers next to me.

“Would it upset you if I stayed a little longer?" He asked.

"Not at all. Sleep here if you want. I am sleeping right here. I think you broke me so I am not moving."

"So was that what you expected?" He asked rolling on his side to face me.

"Oh it was a million times better. Best sex I have ever had. I didn't even know I was a squirter." I said and he smiled. He snaked his arm around me and pulled me up so my head was now on a pillow but even better I was cuddled up against his chest.

"Get some sleep. I am going to wake you up to get coffee in the morning and you can hang with me for the day if you want." He said.

“Sounds like its going to be another painful but wonderful day." I gave him a cheeky grin and he smiled back at me.

"Goodnight" He said

"Goodnight see you in the morning handsome." I said and saw him blush again before I fell asleep in his arms.

~Hella Cheesy I know I am Just getting back into fanfic writing give me a break Please.~

#fanfic #smut #william afton #matthew lillard #ghostface #fnaf #female reader #fluff

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wallofweird · 9 months

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Looking for moots :)

So, I recently got addicted to My Chemical Romance, I don't know if it's a phase or permanent (have a feeling it's permanent because it's been a month and sometimes I cry with them but who knows, lol), but I would like to have people to talk about them with. :)

I've listened to most of the songs, but I believe there are songs out there I don't know where or how to find yet? Like, I know the four albums and the 'Conventional Weapons' songs, but sometimes I see people mentioning things I don't know. I just don't know if I'm unfamiliar with them or listened tot hem already, but don't recognize the acronyms and nicknames the fandom uses (like, for a while I didn't know what Conventional Weapons were even though I love them, LOL).

I've also seen multiple interviews and read a little bit about their story (I watched what I believe is a two-hour documentary too), but it's still not that much and there are a lot of things I need to learn... And just commenting about how much I love the songs as well, I would love to have people to chat about it all with. :)

So, if anyone is interested, you can send me you username on X/Twitter, or follow me over there (I follow everyone back). For now I'm @snsidontl0v3y0u (my nickname is Fae), but I think I'll change that username soon, so it's better if y'all send me yours and I'll follow.

For now, I'm not really using Tumblr and I apologize if my blog looks weird and messy, I haven't been here in months except for like 2 rare occasions, lmao... So, I can't make friends here. But I'm regularly on X/Twitter and would love to talk to people over there. :) I've already followed and got followed back by some fans, but they haven't really started any conversations and I don't want to be inconvenient or say something ignorant and sound like a poser, lmao (yes, I worry before stepping into fandoms, it's not y'all, it's me, I just can't help being too paranoid about everything).

And if can you send a DM so I know I can talk to you I'd appreciate, lol. I'd also love if anyone could send me important interviews, articles, threads, videos etc talking about their story as a band and individuals or just iconic performances... I don't know exactly where to look or what's reliable or not yet. :p

I just want to make sure I go to people that do want to spend time chatting and won't bother anyone, lol. I'm in my 20s and I love Demi Lovato and Faouzia as well, just so you know. Anyway, thank you and I hope some of us can bond. :) <3

#my chemical romance #mcr #gerard way #ray toro #frank iero #mikey way #my chem

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firespirited · 4 months

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So, uh, I had a nervous breakdown - emotional meltdown - mental overload and guilt spiral of sorts that culminated in 5 fully blank* days and nights (*I keep a "times, meds, symptoms and activities" notepad). It's over now as far as I can tell as the cause has stopped, I didn't harm myself beyond some self neglect or cause pain to anyone else. I'm ok, picking up the pieces and determined to get treatment.

Not even sure if those are the correct terms and feel kinda uncomfortable using them like I just "spontaneously broke" as opposed to getting broken down by others but no one here is ready to talk about that so Emotional Breakdown™️ will have to do. Now that I've done a bunch of research and self-examination it was more of a PTSD reaction, a prolonged emotional flashback that I didn't know how to stop and with no outside relief or help.

Long post under cut

I was unfortunately mentally lucid and reacting to very real things but in an emotionally disproportionate way... which was actually not very impressive at all since everything but the sobbing and some talking to myself was happening on the inside, in the foetal position in my pitch black room because who knew? Stress in the neck or face sets off the mega migraines 🙃.

Very uncinematic. Barely an inconvenience to my flatmates. I force-fed myself bread, water and whatever meds might cause withdrawal if discontinued, fed Lily her pain meds at around the same time every night. I'm going to get a good grade in not being a danger to anyone or myself 👍👍👍

I began sedating myself as soon as the urges for inside pain to be visible on the outside got strong enough to actually visualize concrete ideas. Nothing with withdrawal potential: a few months worth of anti allergy meds, M eventually called the doctor once I ran out and had to tap in to my sleep meds, 5 days in to the full-blown meltdown.

Why sedation? I happen (lol no, it's actually pretty related to the ptsd) to be an expert on all things suicide and didn't want those thoughts to even get close to started.

My doctor is stellar, she believed me, didn't act like my grief was unwarranted, prescribed more anti-histamines and kindly but firmly told me to stop blaming myself for other people's choices, we just can't control how other people choose to act. The self loathing had started from a seemingly obvious pattern and spiralled way out of any kind of logic. That grounded me a little on Wednesday.

We talked over my options : the local psych ward is the opposite of restful or safe for migraines; the care homes have waiting lists, especially in summer when people drop off the elders to go on holiday but she's going to try and find me a slot if the current home stability breaks again. Not having any extended family or local friends meant no escape and that didn't help mentally either.

I feel like I've had a really bad flu, I feel very fragile. I feel like things have been very unfair but also not safe enough to indulge any anger about it, not here and now so a sort of numbness has settled in... emotional that is, the migraines are stomping my head and also irritating the bowels because why not add insult to injury? 😂

Mum's violent mood swings were over on Thursday morning and on Friday I decided I had to face life, get back in the saddle before fear could kick in and helped sis go to an appointment that she was very nervous about. Just about managed then crashed the rest of the day.

It felt good to be useful 😊💖and I needed the perspective of there being a whole wide world out there, not just the lovely tumblr folks in my phone 🌸💕🌸 who are close but also unreachable.

Moral of the story, if there is a moral to any of this, … ? Repressing your fears and emotional pain for 30 years will turn you into a sobbing blob with little to no control so don't assume you're handling things because, yes technically you are, until your last tether breaks and then you're just a trauma response at full volume.

Oh and flashbacks don't automatically happen visually or in nightmares like in the movies. I already knew that for me, specific memory flashbacks seem to cause a hollow and weak nauseating feeling like when adrenaline is wearing off but now I know emotional flashbacks are more of a paralysing overwhelming series of waves of many strong feelings. One of the more identifiable red flags among the general mess of emotion for future episodes would probably be irrational and very potent guilt/shame.

So uh yeah, sorry I haven't checked in for over a week or done much of anything, I'll try and catch up as soon as I can 🥰

So now it's beyond confirmed : I have PTSD from stuff that ended over a decade ago, stuff from far older too, you think time heals all but it doesn't heal untreated wounds and I'm going to seek treatment no matter what.

It's mortifying to talk about but if I tell you lovely people, well, I can't run from it any more.

I'm also going to need to set boundaries with some very fragile people but not without the help of an expert, I've been caring for sis and her borderline tendencies for over a year this time around and not been allowed to set limits. Mum's crossed a line she can't even see yet. It could be months before that's a subject we can safely approach.

I have a post in my drafts from last November about finding great happiness in a bare room of a few boxes, a mattress and the internet and how I'd be quite content to live that way again: peace really is worth it. It's like a letter to myself that this was coming and reassurance that I've been happy before despite frightening change and financial poverty.

I have duties to my family and they too have been good to me - there's the expectation that therapy will "toughen me up" to better manage but I can tell from just that disastrous first session with mum present, that boundaries will be part of the deal. That's the most frightening and delicate part. I have been eldest daughter, big sis, selfless friend and good kid™️/parenting kid from my very first memories, any change will be perceived as not being me any more (maybe even to myself), it'll also go against deeply ingrained societal and personal habits.

__________

In other news Lily turned 16, she is happy and healthy. She's been with me for 9 years.

I was hoping to train a new therapy dog as she's been retired for a couple of years and even lined up a sweetheart of a rescue called Vanina. That can't happen yet. Or maybe that's something I need. Idk.

I don't expect any major pivot in the doll hobby, watch habits or Patreon/support to friends at this point but it's all in the air.

Looking forward to getting back to normal and also cherishing (in an odd sort of way, maybe that's not the right word) this moment as a "survived it!!" thing but also "WOW you needed help and it's overdue".

Take care of yourselves lovely people. See you soon.

#Saf #Personal #nervous breakdown #Long post #If you saw this coming from a mile off too feel free to say so but add nice emojis or pictures of pets please #ptsd #Hindsight really is 20/20 eh

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hide-in-imagination · 6 days

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4. …And if I bleed, you'll be the last to know... | Cruel Summer

Prev chapter here.

A.N: Hey, everyone. If you don’t follow me on Tumblr or simply don’t know, you might be noticing this is a different chapter 4 than the one I originally posted months ago. The reason for this is that I realized I wasn’t happy with how the first version had turned out, to the point that it was impossible for me to continue the story— Nothing sounded right, everything felt forced. So, I found myself obliged to change it. I’m very sorry for the inconvenience; I hope you know I felt terrible making you wait just for a re-write of a chapter, but it was necessary. The lesson for me? Never go with the first idea that came to mind just because it’ll mean you’ll update faster. Turns out, you’ll only end up frustrated and delaying the updates even more.

Having said that, I hope you enjoy this new path to the story.

Simón Álvarez was in love, and he didn’t know what to do with that information.

If things were simpler, it would be a beautiful thing. He would already be planning his next meet-up with Ámbar, excited to see her again and to bask in the happy feelings that swept over him whenever he was near her.

But things were definitely not simple and they hadn’t been from the very beginning. He knew that what he had with Ámbar wasn’t wise, he knew that he was fanning the flames of feelings that were better left forgotten, but he kept going anyway, kept diving deeper and deeper, and now… now what?

What did he want to do? Did he want to be with Ámbar? Even after everything she’d done?

No, said his brain.

Yes, screamed his heart.

Simón ran his hands through his hair, pacing his room, trying to make some sense of the conflicting feelings.

For starters, when had this happened? When did he fall in love with Ámbar? He knew he liked her— which, again, should’ve been a deterrent for him not to start this ambiguous thing with her, but alas, that did not stop him— liked her a lot, if he was being honest with himself, but he had believed, rather naively, perhaps, that it couldn’t possibly be more than that with how little time they’d managed to spend together before all hell broke loose.

What if the feeling had been there from the beginning? What if it’d been there even before they started this whole truce and it just took him this long to figure it out?

Simón went through all their interactions, trying to pinpoint the moment when he lost his heart. Their conversations back in Buenos Aires, the time they sang together, their first kiss. Could it be possible that it came from back then? It seemed like too soon, but maybe that was why he couldn’t write a single word or conjure a melody after he found out about everything she did, because he had to push Ámbar away, and she took his heart with her.

Or maybe, like all his current problems, it had started on that beach. When he saw again the Ámbar he had feared had been all lies to manipulate him, the one who felt deeply and seemed to be begging for someone to love her. Maybe just learning that not everything had been a lie was all it took. Maybe it was true what people said about absence making the heart grow fonder. And hadn’t he felt, that night, the frantic urge to take all of her pain and absorb it into himself if that meant she wouldn’t have to hurt anymore? What was love if not wanting to put someone before yourself?

Maybe it was the moment he held those guitar strings that really cemented it for him. Maybe that was the first sprout of the seed and then it just kept growing after that, with every kiss, every look, every smile, until it bloomed into the very rose he gave her, until it overflowed and he couldn’t pretend not to see it anymore.

(And roses had thorns— How ironic was that?)

Whatever, he was just stalling for time— It didn’t matter when it started. What mattered was: what he was going to do from now on?

Nothing, he thought immediately. Nothing had to change. In fact, it was better if it didn’t. Nothing good would come out of trying to change things now. It would only mean trouble.

But…

Longing, deep and unbearable, crawled up his insides and wrapped around his heart.

Oh damn it, this was exactly why he should’ve stayed away.

What was he supposed to do? Tell Ámbar? Tell her ‘Hey, I love you, but I don’t want to be with you anyway, so just ignore me’ ? Because he didn’t want to be with her. He didn’t. He couldn’t.

What kind of friend would he be if he dated her after everything she did to his friends? Wouldn’t that be like saying he didn’t give a shit about that?

But Ámbar could be better. I know she can. When she’s with me, she’s—

A fantasy. That was what it was. The truce wasn’t real— All those moments, they were good because they were ignoring all the bad, every action was tempered by a peace treaty. Without it, what was even left of them? Did Ámbar love him? Was it just a pastime for her? Would she just go back to wanting to hurt everyone around her once the truce was over?

Simón wanted to believe she wouldn’t be that cold. Not with him. Not after everything.

Oh, but that would be so much worse, wouldn’t it? If she made him the exception. If she told him she loved him and treated him gently, but she didn’t extend the same courtesy to everyone else. If she continued her rampage of vengeance… Simón would not be able to turn a blind eye to that.

And it would destroy him. It would be like hanging a treat in front of a ravenous dog and forcing him to sit, to just watch, to die of hunger.

Simón would rather she hated him.

He’d rather not do anything at all.

It was the safest move, anyway. To let things run their course. Nothing had to change. The truce was a beautiful fantasy— He could live in it some more time.

But how long would that last? Even if it were just to end it, at some point, they had to talk about it.

This has no future if we don’t talk about it.

This has no future even if we do talk about it.

That night, Simón barely slept at all.

-------------------------

The next time he saw Ámbar, it was by pure coincidence.

After spending the entirety of February 15th hiding in his room, Simón finally felt calm enough to go outside the next day. He went to the mall and bought new bearings for his rollerskates. Then he tested them by skating down the beach.

That was all he did for about an hour or two. The weather was nice and the exercise left a pleasant burn on his lungs and muscles.

He decided to walk back to his house lest he got blisters.

And that was when he saw her.

Ámbar was by the shops near the beach with Emilia, looking at sunglasses, jewelry, or whatnot. She was wearing a black skirt and a light blue top that was nearly white. Simón didn’t need to be near her to know it would bring out her eyes.

His breath caught for a second.

She was so beautiful it was unfair.

Simón swallowed to bring moisture back to his suddenly dry mouth. They’d crossed paths faster than he thought they would. But it was okay. It was okay, it had to happen at some point— Better if it happened sooner. If Ámbar saw him and wanted to meet up later, he just had to act normal, like all their previous encounters. There was no need to do anything different.

Except… What wasnormal again?

Simón raked his brain. How did he used to act around her? How did he used to look at her? He couldn’t remember. His mind was blank.

Maybe if he just let muscle memory do its thing, there wouldn’t be any problems. They’d been doing this for weeks now: meeting in secret, not talking, not making it anything it didn’t have to be— It was simple. He could do it.

Then Ámbar’s head turned in his direction and her eyes met his.

And—

Yeah, no, he couldn’t do this.

Simón’s heart started pounding like it wanted to break out of his chest. Memories of their last encounter flashed through his mind— Her pretty smiles, her sighs, the heavy way she looked at him.

He was pretty sure he’d touched places he shouldn’t have. (He wished he’d done it more.) He could still feel Ámbar’s lips moving fervently against his own, her fingers in his hair, her hands pulling up his t-shirt. He had swallowed every sound from her mouth, and she had sucked on his skin to the point of almost leaving bruises. (He wished she had marked him.)

How was he supposed to act like none of that happened? How was he supposed to act like it didn’t matter to him? How was he supposed to pretend he didn’t want to kiss her every day of his life? Give her flowers every Valentine’s Day? Be the reason for all of her sweet smiles and chuckles?

Shit.

Fuck.

He needed to get out of here. Before he did something stupid like blurt out ‘What are we?’ or say ‘I love you.’

Simón averted his gaze and resumed his walk home. Once he turned a corner, he jogged, and he kept that pace for blocks until he needed to stop to catch his breath.

It was worse than he thought. He thought he could control it. All he had to do was remind himself of all the reasons why it was a bad idea. Remind himself that he did not want to be with Ámbar.

Ha.

What a joke.

Simón got home covered in a layer of sweat and discouragement. He was so stupid. Out of all the people in the world, he had to fall for Ámbar Smith. Hell, did he even love her or just the nicer version she’d put up in front of him to abide by their truce? Was he in love with someone who didn’t exist?

No. When he thought of Ámbar, he didn’t just think of smiles and sweet moments. He thought of her drive, her talent, her passion, her fears. Her sadness, her anger, her strength, her softness. Ámbar was an amalgamation of things, some of them contradicting, and that was the most captivating part of all. She was arrogant, ruthless, and exasperating. She could be warm, supportive, and unsure.

She could be the best thing to ever happen to him. They could be something beautiful. But she kept making the worst choices, time and time again.

Joining the opposite team? Stealing their choreography? Hadn’t she done enough? Was she not content with pushing everyone around her away?

After she tried to tell him she had changed. That she had changed for him. That she wouldn’t make the same mistakes again.

How long did it take her to do something even worse? A week? Less than that?

But then there she was at the beach, and there she was at his birthday, and there she was under the pouring rain, where she didn’t even want to be, but she did it for him.

There she was in every secluded corner of Cancún, tucked between his arms, making them remember her, kissing him in a way he feared had screwed him up forever.

With all of that, he couldn’t help it if his heart clung to a sea of maybes. Yes, Ámbar had made mistakes, yes, she had bad qualities, yes, nothing assured him that she might want to change— but maybe she did. Maybe he wasn’t wrong about her. Maybe she was her best qualities and she simply didn’t know how to let them come out. Maybe she had reflected on her actions and realized she wasn’t just hurting others but hurting herself. Maybe that night at the beach had been enough for her too. Maybe if he just helped her, maybe if he was with her, she could finally be the Ámbar she was always meant to be.

Or he could be completely wrong, and seeing what he wanted to see, and believing what he wanted to believe.

The thought was terrifying.

The thought was possible.

*******************************

“What are you looking at?”

Ámbar snapped her gaze from Simón’s back as he walked along the beach and brought it to Emilia.

“Nothing,” she said, nonchalant, and went back to perusing the different items the little shop had on display. She grabbed some sunglasses and inspected them more closely. “Just the beach. The weather’s nice today.”

Emilia’s gaze was almost a tangible thing on the side of her face.

“Mhm… You know, you’ve been weird lately,” she pointed out. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re in love or something.”

Ámbar’s heart raced.

She didn’t let it show. “Don’t speak nonsense, Emilia.” She left the sunglasses back where they were and looked at the assortment of sun hats instead.

“What would be so wrong with that?” Emilia argued, and Ámbar didn’t need to look at her to know she was smirking in that mischievous way of hers. “There are plenty of hot guys to look at around here. If it’s one of The Sliders you like, I could even help you out. Like a wingwoman. Except, if you’ve got your eyes on Tomás, I have to tell you right now, he’s gay.”

“I figured as much.” She hoped the short answer would be the end of it, but unfortunately, Emilia kept going.

“Who do you like then? Raúl? Matías? Oh, not Adrián— That guy could be our father,” she said, appalled.

“Would you stop it, Emilia?” Ámbar finally turned and glared at her. She did not need the mental image of their coach’s 45-year-old boyfriend and her kissing, thank you very much. “I don’t like anyone, I’m focused on other things right now, I’m not interested.”

“Geez, okay, what a party pooper.” Emilia rolled her eyes lightly and went back to looking at the items in the shop too. “It was just some girl talk, you don’t have to act like I insulted you.”

It was insulting though, to think she’d give any of those guys the time of day when she had Simón. But, of course, she couldn’t say that.

And. She didn’t have him, really. But she did have the second-best thing.

Which reminded her—

“Well, I think I already saw everything they have here. If you’re done too, I’ll text my driver so he can come pick us up.”

Emilia huffed out a laugh. “The perks of being a rich girl. Sure, see if he can pick us up, but if he’s busy, I don’t mind walking. You know, as us commoners do.”

Ámbar rolled her eyes and walked a few steps to the side to pull out her phone.

In truth, she had no intention of texting her driver. She was just going to pretend she did, and then pretend he was unavailable for some Luna-related reason, and then make up some excuse to stay by the beach while Emilia went on her merry way.

Á: Hey, are you still around the beach? I can’t see you

She knew Simón had seen her earlier. She could never get the feeling of their eyes meeting wrong. She figured he had gone off somewhere and was waiting for Emilia to leave— That was what they usually did when either of them found themselves in this situation. The problem was that, because of Emilia talking to her, she didn’t get to see exactly where he went to, so she didn’t know where to go from now.

It was a few minutes before she got a new message.

Simón: I left, sorry, I’m busy today

Oh.

It was the first time they saw each other and didn’t meet up later.

Well, it was bound to happen at some point, she told herself. They had their own lives— They couldn’t always escape them to see each other in secret.

She’d really been wanting to see him though. The last time had been… well, surprising, but she felt like it was the closest they’d been to, like, a real date. She still couldn’t believe he’d brought her a flower— On Valentine’s Day of all days. That had to mean something, right?

Not like she was going to ask him. She wasn’t that stupid. It was better if she just acted normal and followed his lead.

So, albeit a little disappointed, she replied simply.

Á: Okay

“Did he text back?”

Ámbar almost jumped out of her skin before she remembered she was supposed to be talking to her driver.

“Yeah, seems like he’s busy.” She tried not to let the real dejection filter into her voice. She turned to Emilia. “Wanna walk?”

“Sure,” the other girl replied, and together, they began their way down the beach. “You were right before, the weather is nice today.”

--------------------

Simón was avoiding her.

Ámbar didn’t want to believe it at first. He’d told her he was busy, and Simón was not one for lying, so it had to be true, right?

The first few times their eyes met across the distance and he pretended they didn’t, she tried not to read too much into it. Maybe he really hadn’t seen her. Maybe he had to pretend because he couldn’t meet her later, whether because he had something else to do, or he was feeling under the weather, or maybe people around him were starting to get suspicious of his frequent disappearances, so he was lying low.

There were many reasons why this could be happening. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt whenever she felt his gaze on her and turned only for him to avert his eyes quickly. Especially when more days passed, and then more days, and then a whole week had gone by since the last time they’d met, and the situation was still the same.

Ámbar tried, once more, sending him a text, but she only got the same vague response about him having other stuff to do. Except, if she saw him out and about so often, how could he not spare five minutes? Even if he were laying low, it had been a whole week— It should be enough time to disperse suspicion.

So, Ámbar had to accept what was really happening. Simón was avoiding her. She just couldn’t understand why.

The question burned and ached between her ribs, getting worse every time he ignored her. Had she done something wrong? She couldn’t recall anything that could’ve made him want to cut off all contact. Sure, their last meeting had been interrupted very abruptly, but that hadn’t been her fault, and Simón hadn’t looked angry when he left her house— So what could’ve triggered this?

Ámbar tried to remember. She retraced every encounter they’d had the past few weeks, trying to find some detail she didn’t notice, some change in his expression that might have signaled he was getting tired of this, tired of her, but aside from that Valentine’s Day at her house, she couldn’t find anything out of the ordinary.

So, it’s about that then? He regretted it?

That was the last time they saw each other before Simón started getting distant, so the two things had to be connected. Ámbar just couldn’t understand how he went from that to avoiding her. To be honest, she had no idea what went through Simón’s mind that day, but to her, perhaps naively, it had seemed like a change in a good direction. He went out of his way to seek her out and gift her a flower when he had no reason to— And on Valentine’s Day. Sure, he said there was a sale, but he could’ve not made use of it, he could’ve seen her some other day. And then they went up to her room, and he kissed her in a way no one had ever kissed her before. She didn’t think it was crazy to think that meant something. Especially with that look he gave her right before leaving.

Ámbar wasn’t stupid enough to believe he would just ask her to be his girlfriend the next day— It wasn’t like all their conflicts had ceased to exist, and they hadn’t even talked about all that. But she thought they’d talk about it. Eventually. About everything. About what this truce meant for them. About what they’d do once this summer was over. Would this thing between them be over then? What did Simón want? And was there anything she could do to make him consider wanting her?

Well, it seemed like what Simón wanted was nothing at all. The message could not be more clear with all of this avoiding— Except, of course, if he had talked to her to tell her that.

Maybe he realized he had given her the wrong impression and that was why he pulled away. This was just supposed to be a summer thing with no strings and no consequences. Apparently, Simón had come to the conclusion that they had done enough and it was time to end it.

But why didn’t he just tell her that? Did he think it was kinder to cut things off without any explanation? He thought it would hurt her less to let the silence speak for itself instead of telling her directly that he didn’t want any kind of relationship with her?

If that was his plan, it had backfired entirely, because Ámbar just felt used. Used, and discarded, and incredibly angry because—Did he think she was an idiot? What the hell kind of excuse was ‘sorry, I’m busy’?— For a whole week? During vacations? What was he supposed to be busy with? Because, as far as Ámbar could tell, the only thing Simón seemed to do all day was spend every waking moment with Luna.

‘Just busy’, my ass! Ámbar thoughtone Friday, exactly one week and two days after Simón went to her house, as she happened to see Luna and Simón walking down the beach without a care in world, looking very happy while Ámbar had been submerged in an ocean of questions and stress all this time.

She had gone out with some of the Sliders that afternoon to try to keep her mind off of it, but she should’ve known better. The universe seemed set on mocking her because, every time she’d gone out the past few days, whether alone, or with Emilia, or with her teammates, to do anything fun, Simón always showed up at the same place, and he was with Luna 99% of those times. Sure, it wasn’t always just the two of them, he also hung out with the rest of the Roller crew often throughout the summer, and maybe Ámbar had seen him with some other friends she didn’t recognize too a couple of times, but if you put it all on a scale, all the time he’d been spending with Luna was leagues above the time he spent with anyone else. (Except maybe his family, but that didn’t count.)

Anyone who saw them together would assume they were dating, and that stung more than Ámbar wanted to admit.

After all, Simón had been in love with Luna first. And she had recently broken up with Matteo. So, maybe, putting two and two together, Simón was avoiding Ámbar now because he was giving his thing with Luna another chance.

The pure thought of that made Ámbar want to throw up. And she wished it was in disgust, but the feeling inside her felt much more like heartbreak.

Her ego refused to believe it though. No, Simón couldn’t still be hung up on Luna, not with the way he kissed her. It was Ámbar he’d been making out with for weeks now. They were even in bed together (although nothing major happened)— She was certain that no thought of Lunita had even crossed his mind while that was happening.

Although, that could just be lust while Luna holds his heart.

Ámbar felt like breaking something. Or more like yanking out Luna’s hair with her bare hands because, she swore to god, if that girl had decided she wanted Simón after all now of all times—

Nonono, Ámbar had to look at this objectively.

It was Simón’s head she had to crack open.

Because, honestly— How dare he? This whole truce thing had been his idea, and then he had ended it overnight, and now he was walking around with Luna all over Cancún looking all happy-go-lucky for her eyes to see?

Simón didn’t even notice her at first as he came near where she was, since he was too busy laughing at whatever stupid joke his dear Luna had made, of course. But eventually, he saw the volleyball net in the sand, and Ámbar was standing right next to it with the rest of the Sliders, so it only took a moment for his eyes to meet her own.

They only held gazes for a second or two, but there was no way she imagined it. Ámbar was certain she didn’t, just as she was certain his eyes widened a little as if caught, and then flicked away, pretending as if he hadn’t seen her while he kept walking.

Oh, son of a—

That was it. If Simón wanted to do things this way, then so be it. Two could play this game.

Ámbar found just the right moment and turned toward her nearest teammate, Raúl, and wrapped her arms around one of his, sticking up to him.

“Hahah, Raúl, you’re so funny. I’ve laughed so much I’ve grown thirsty now. Would you come buy some milkshakes with me?”

Still hugging his arm, she half-led, half-pulled him in the direction of the shops by the beach, making sure to pass right in front of Simón and Luna.

It certainly didn’t hurt that Raúl was tall, ripped, and very much shirtless. (His face was okay.) And she, of course, looked as fabulous as ever.

Simón was going to regret ever walking away from her.

“Oh, hi, guys, I didn’t see you there,” Ámbar greeted the other two with a wide smile. “How have you been? All good?”

“Um…” It was Luna who spoke, because Simón had grown very quiet from the moment Raúl and Ámbar had shown up. Ámbar could notice his eyes instantly focusing on their linked arms and covertly glancing from one to the other. Good. “All good, Ámbar, thanks. We were just strolling along the beach.”

“Yeah, same with us. Well, Raúl and I are going to play a game of beach volleyball later with some other guys from our team.” She looked up at him for a moment and caressed his arm. “It’s always fun to do some other sport once in a while other than rollerskating. You two are welcome to join us sometime if you want. If you don’t mind losing to us, of course.”

Simón was now straight up looking to the side, not meeting anyone’s gaze. Ámbar thought he looked a little pissed, but not much. Maybe it was just due to the insinuation that they would lose against them, or for having interrupted their little stroll.

Luna had a similar face when she replied.

“Thanks, but we already got plans,” she said flatly. She looked to her side. “Let’s go, Simón.”

Just like that, the two of them walked away, leaving Ámbar and Raúl in front of the shops.

Ámbar stood there in disappointment.

That’s it? He didn’t even say a word to me— Give me some reaction!

What would it take for him to address her again? Would she have to kiss some other guy? Would he even care if she did?

Maybe he really forgot about me.

“Ámbar?”

She snapped out of her thoughts to meet Raúl’s gaze, and then immediately wished she hadn’t, because he was smirking down at her with knowing amusement. “Do you still want that milkshake?”

Ámbar was hit by a wave of embarrassment. Yeah, okay, maybe her move had been too impulsive and obvious— She had a record of not thinking things through sometimes.

She pushed the feeling deep into herself and tried not to show anything. She already felt ridiculous— She wasn’t going to look it too.

“Yeah, sure,” she said simply, as if nothing had happened.

She realized she still had her arms wrapped around Raúl’s and let go quickly, looking at the sun and fanning herself as if that were her reason to get some distance. “God, it’s so hot out here.”

Unfortunately, her attempt at nonchalance failed.

Raúl laughed. “So,” he stood in front of her, smiling, “who was he? Your ex-boyfriend or something?”

This was the last thing Ámbar wanted to talk about, but she had brought this onto herself by pulling Raúl away with her.

She looked away and shrugged with feigned casualness. “No one important, it doesn’t matter.”

Raúl crossed his arms. “Mmm, uh huh, I can see he was no one.”

Ámbar groaned a little and rolled her eyes. “Let’s just go back with the rest.” There was no point in trying to salvage this. “And not a word to any of them about this or you’ll have to deal with me,” she warned him.

“If they didn’t notice already, because you’re a little obvious.”

Ámbar turned and walked back toward the volleyball net. Raúl followed.

“Look, if it helps,” he told her, “I’m pretty sure that guy’s not over whatever happened between you two. Maybe you should talk to him,” he proposed. “Unless that girl he was with is his new girlfriend,” he added. “Although, if you wanted to steal him from her, you totally could. You’re, like, way better than that little squirt.”

Ámbar wanted to scream from how mortifying this was, but as with everything lately, she just took a breath, fortified herself, and carried on. “Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.”

She, unfortunately, kept it too in mind, so whatever team she was in, always lost the volleyball match. She wasn’t bad, otherwise someone would’ve asked her what was wrong with her, but her heart wasn’t really in it— because why would it be? Winning a beach volleyball game wasn’t going to fix her life.

The only one who sent her looks was Raúl, but she ignored them. Having finished three games, she just told everyone she was tired and went back to her house.

There was no sign of Luna when she entered, thank god, nor were Jim and Yam anywhere to be seen. She was in no mood to see any of them and their boisterous happiness.

Her relief turned quickly into annoyance though, because if Luna wasn’t here, it meant she was still out with Simón.

Ámbar went up to the room and closed the door behind her harder than she had to. She was just— so done with this day. With everything.

She took off her shoes and left her purse on top of her desk. She pulled her phone out of her shorts’ pocket and went to leave it on her nightstand— and then she saw it. The white rose. It was still in the vase she’d put it in all those days ago, but wilted now, more brown than white. She should’ve thrown it away days ago. But she knew why she hadn’t.

It was the only thing she had of him.

‘Maybe you should talk to him.’

Ámbar sat on her bed with a scoff. Simón didn’t want to talk to her, he’d made that abundantly clear— Why should she seek him out? How pathetic would that be, after everything? They weren’t even in a relationship. Did he even owe her explanations?

It just hurt because… she thought Simón was different. Sure, guys kissed girls and then ghosted them all the time— But not him. He had her genuinely convinced that he was a sweet guy, a guy who would never go after a girl without feeling something for her, a guy who would never vanish overnight without saying anything.

She thought he cared about her. He didn’t say it, but it was in every gesture, in every kiss— In that damn flower.

What was she supposed to do with all of that? Just forget about it? They would just go on and act like none of this ever happened? Was that Simón’s plan?

Ámbar was supposed to go back to Buenos Aires, and go to the Roller, and see him there, and pretend she didn’t know how he kissed? Pretend she never saw him in the summer, that she never caught a cold for kissing him in the rain, pretend they didn’t make out until their lips bruised and touched each other’s skin, together in her room?

No.

No, Ámbar was not going to do that.

She had no idea what was going through Simón’s mind, but this— this was unfair and she wasn’t going to have it. He wanted to sweep everything under the rug and not have to take responsibility for anything, but Ámbar was not going to let him.

If Simón doesn’t want to see me anymore, he’s going to have to say it to my freaking face.

She did deserve explanations. She was not some toy for him to use and discard once he grew tired of it, no matter how unofficial everything that happened between them was. And who cared if Simón didn’t want to talk to her? Ámbar wanted to talk to him, so he was going to have to do it anyway.

It didn’t take her long to come up with a plan of action. After all, plans were her specialty. So, it was only two days later that Ámbar was sitting in a car outside of Simón’s house, exactly at 6 pm, waiting for him to show up.

She wasn’t right outside, mind you, that would’ve called too much attention, but she had a good view of the entrance and both sides of the street from her position on the opposite sidewalk, so she would definitely see Simón when he came back home.

It was a simple plan, but she’d had to wait for an opportunity to present itself to avoid wasting her time. Said opportunity, ironically, came from Luna. She heard her talking to Mónica that morning about how she was going to hang out with Simón in the afternoon, but when Mónica asked her if he’d be having dinner with them at the mansion, Luna said no, that he’d eat with his family.

That gave her a more defined timeframe, and Ámbar could work with that. She still had no idea how long she’d have to wait exactly, but she knew that if she got there around evening, Simón would have to show up at some point, so that was what she was doing. The chauffeur, too, was paid well enough to keep his mouth shut and wait it out with her. He couldn’t complain— He was basically getting paid for playing games on his phone.

(Ámbar wished she could do the same, wished she could distract herself. Hell, a part of her wanted to just leave and never come back, but she was not going to do that. She was not going to spend the rest of her life wondering what could’ve happened if she’d had this conversation.)

She’d been waiting for almost an hour when finally, at exactly 6:49 pm, Ámbar caught sight of Simón walking up the street. The sun was already setting due to it being winter in this hemisphere, tainting the world shades of orange. It made sense that Simón would return before it got dark. He was always such a goody-goody for everything. Except when it came to her.

Ámbar told the driver he could go, but to stay close for when she needed him for the ride back, and then got out of the car.

Simón’s easy-going stride slowed down to a halt when he caught sight of her. It could’ve even been comical, the face he made when she approached him on the sidewalk, if it weren’t for the circumstances that brought them here.

“Ámbar?” He said slowly, like he couldn’t believe his eyes. He threw a quick look around. “What are you doing here?”

Ámbar stood in front of him and gave him a fake smile. “Hi, Ámbar, what’s up? How are you? Very good, thanks. You?” She didn’t wait for him to answer. “I’m sorry that I had to come all the way to your house like this. Usually, I would’ve given you a heads up but, you see, it’s been kind of hard for me to get in touch with you lately, have you noticed that?”

Simón looked away, seeming uncomfortable.

Ah, so you do know what I’m talking about, good.

Ámbar dropped her sarcastic smile and looked at him seriously.

“If you didn’t want to see me anymore, you could’ve just told me, you know?” She reproached him. “There was no need for you to feed me a hundred excuses, as if I weren’t going to notice how you prefer to do literally anything else except give me the time of day.”

He shook his head slightly. “It’s not that.”

“No?” She asked skeptically. “Then what is it?”

Simón opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it again shortly after. He looked down, making a troubled face that she read as shame, and continued to avoid her gaze as he said nothing.

His silence spoke volumes.

Ámbar scoffed. Well. There went any chance that she might have been wrong about this.

“God.” She brought the heel of her palms to her forehead. “I can’t believe I actually thought you were really busy, or maybe sick, like a freaking idiot, only to find out that, no, that was only an excuse, because you looked perfectly fine walking around with Luna every day. You’re the worst,” she spat.

Simón’s head hung low. Even his shoulders seemed lower, like he was trying to shrink into himself. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”

“What?” She demanded. “Didn’t mean to what? Ignore me? Act as if I were invisible after everything that happened between us? Because no one held you at gunpoint to do that, Simón— You chose the easy way out like a freaking coward.”

That finally made him tick. His face hardened and he stood to full height again, facing her.

“Okay, and what about you, huh?” He volleyed back. “Yes, I was wrong, I admit that, but I didn’t exactly see you moping around, you know? So don’t come insulting me now,” he reproached. “You looked perfectly happy with the Sliders all these days. It didn’t seem like my oh so terrible avoidance affected you at all. In fact— You know what? It’s a good thing that I stayed away from you, because I can’t believe you’re still doing the same old things even after all this time— You’ve learned nothing. Right when I thought you might have changed.” He scoffed and shook his head. “God, I’m so stupid.”

“Excuse me?” Ámbar didn’t think she could feel more indignant, but he was achieving it. “First of all, I can spend my time however I see fit, and you can’t say anything about it when you made it perfectly clear you did not want any of that time,” she pointed out. “And second of all, I’ve done absolutely nothing wrong all summer. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve left all of you alone, I’ve just been minding my own business, so don’t stand here throwing accusations at me when the only minimally bad thing I’ve done has been seeing you.”

“Oh yeah?” He said, outraged. “So you’re going to tell me that parading around with that Slider guy in front of me wasn’t just some move to make me jealous? To show how much you don’t care?”

Ámbar raised her brows.

“Aah, so that’s why you’re whining— You’re jealous.” She tilted her head and showed him her best saccharine smile. “Why, don’t be shy, Simón, you could’ve started with that.”

Simón shook his head. “You are unbelievable. You know what? No. I’m not jealous, because your schemes are transparent— anyone could see them from a mile away. What I am,” he said, “is angry, because I can not believe you enjoy toying with people this way. It’s wrong.”

All of her amusement vanished once she heard him say that.

“You want to talk to me about wrong?” She told him with disbelief. “You want to talk to me about toying with people? You were the one who came up with the idea of the truce and then you started avoiding me overnight without even giving me any explanation— What do you call that, Simón? Do you think that’s right?”

Simón clenched his jaw, put in check by her very rightful complaints. “I didn’t do that on purpose,” he said as a defense. The ‘unlikeyou’ was implicit.

It only incensed Ámbar more.

“Bullshit!” She exclaimed. “What? Your body moved on its own as you walked away from me? Your fingers typed texts blowing me off without you being the wiser? How exactly do you avoid someone by accident, Simón?”

He opened his mouth but she didn’t let him get a word in— Not this time. She didn’t want more pitiful excuses.

“No, I’ll tell you what happened,” she said. “You got bored of me, or got tired of having to hide or whatever, and instead of facing that and saying it to me straight like a man, you decided to ghost me like a coward, because it wasn’t like you cared about me either way, right? Who cares about Ámbar? You probably figured you were better off with Luna, so you ditched me so that you two could ride off into the sunset!”

Simón had the gall to look confused. “What does Luna have to do with any of this?”

Ámbar’s eyes widened. “What does Luna have to do with this?!” He could not be serious! “Simón, please, you spend your every waking hour with her, you look like a tick attached to her all day— Don’t play dumb!”

Simón’s expression changed from confused to something much worse—A smile.

“Aaah, I see now what’s going on. You’re jealous of me and Luna.”

His amusement was Ámbar’s last straw.

She glared at him with all she had. “No, I’m angry!”

She took a step forward and got on his face.

“I’m angry that you couldn’t leave me alone at that damned beach like I told you to a thousand times and you insisted on staying in my life. I’m angry that you kissed me when I had already given up on you. I’m angry that the only thing I did all these weeks was follow your lead and put up with seeing you with Luna 24/7 but, somehow, I’m still the bad guy! I’m angry that you gave me a freaking flower on Valentine’s Day and then proceeded to treat me as if I didn’t exist! I’m angry that all you goody-goodies like to do is fill your mouths with sermons of right and wrong and then end up being crueler than I ever was, because if one of us played with the feelings of the other here, Simón, it was you, not me!”

Simón’s face changed before her eyes. It had been softening the more she spoke, and now he was looking at her with dawning realization, as if he was seeing her for the first time.

Maybe he was, because Ámbar hadn’t been this open about her feelings since that night at the beach. But she was tired of this, and if honesty was what it took for him to understand how much he’d screwed her over, then so be it.

“So don’t come telling me that I’m mean ever again,” she finished. “You don’t have that right.”

She turned around to leave— She could text her driver once she’d turned the corner— but she didn’t get two steps before Simón caught her by the hand, making her look back.

“Ámbar, do you want me to tell you why I avoided you?” He said with a sudden edge of urgency.

Ámbar was too tired after her outburst to continue this fight. “I don’t care anymore, Simón—”

He held her hand tighter when she tried to pull away. “Yes, you do. And even if you don’t, I’ll tell you anyway.”

His gaze was determined now, and something else, something desperate. It could’ve been that he wanted to clear his name, or have the last word, but somehow, Ámbar sensed it wasn’t that, and that it was important.

She turned to fully face him and stood there to listen, even if she didn’t much want to. This was the reason why she’d come here, wasn’t it? To know. This was for her, not for him. So she wouldn’t wonder.

Simón took a breath, and she felt him squeeze her hand once more as if gathering strength from it.

“Ámbar, I’ve been… very scared the last few days, to be honest. When I said I didn’t avoid you on purpose, I meant that I didn’t plan on doing it, I just didn’t know what to do. I had a lot of catastrophic scenarios in my head, and I felt like if I talked to you, at least one of them would come true. I didn’t want to ruin what we had. I was terrified of losing you.”

Ámbar’s brows drew a little together. Simón’s expression was earnest, and his eyes were staring at her in a way that made her heart beat faster, but she didn’t understand—

He pulled their joined hands toward him, holding them against his heart.

“Ámbar, I feel… I feel like I made a mistake last year walking away from you like I did. I thought everything had been a lie and I couldn’t trust you, but now I think I can. I think I’m starting to understand you, and that all those things you did don’t define who you are, I think you’re more, I think you’re good, and I think this truce wasn’t just a fantasy, it could be real, and Ámbar, I really need it to be real because I’m so in love with you that I can’t breathe.”

True to his word, Simón seemed to run out of air right as that last sentence left his mouth, so he just stood heaving with their hands against his chest.

Ámbar felt like he’d sucked the air out of her too.

Her mouth trembled for a second, unable to form words.

“I— What?” Her brows pulled together. “But you—”

Simón winced. “I know—”

“All this time, you’ve been—”

“I know. I’m sorry,” he said quickly, caressing her hand with both of his as if to soothe her. “I really never planned on ignoring you, I just— I didn’t know how you felt about me, and I wasn’t sure if I could be around you without blurting out that I love you. And, look at me, I already did.” He let out a little laugh.

He had to stop saying those words because they were messing with her brain and she needed to think, there was a lot going on here, like, for example—

“What do you mean you didn’t know how I felt?” She pulled her hand out of his grasp. “For what other reason would I be doing all of this with you? Do you think I just go around kissing anyone?” She said, insulted.

“No, of course not, but— I don’t know. We never talked about anything, and kisses don’t necessarily mean feelings— Can you blame me for being uncertain?”

“Yes, actually,” she countered. “Because I had already told you last year how I felt about you.”

Simón’s expression turned into a mix of hesitant and hopeful. “So, you… really meant it then?”

Ámbar’s face went flat.

“Okay, that’s it— You know what? Screw you! Think whatever you want!” She pulled away from him and turned as if to leave.

Simón wrapped his arms around her to stop her. “Nonono, okay, okay, I’m sorry,” he brought her against his chest and held her tenderly, “please, don’t leave.”

“I should,” Ámbar told him with a hard stare, placing her hands on his shoulders. “It’s the least you deserve after avoiding me all these days.”

“But you won’t,” Simón said with a little knowing smile. “Will you.”

Ámbar narrowed her eyes slightly. “Don’t be so sure, I’m still considering it.”

“Mmm, okay,” he said and started laughing.

Ámbar looked at him agape. “Don’t laugh!” She admonished him, and also said it to herself because she was not going to crack— He was on thin ice for good reason.

“I’m just so happy,” he said with the biggest stupid grin on his face.

“Well, I’m still mad at you, just so we’re clear.”

“I know, and I get that. But I also know,” Simón brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear, “that underneath all that, you feel the same as I do,” he gave her a smile, “don’t you?”

His hand stayed on her face, cupping her cheek, as he stared at her with sparkling eyes.

Ámbar almost huffed out a laugh because he called her transparent but it was obvious what he wanted her to do.

“I am not going to say it,” she made it clear. She was owed one act of rebellion and it would be that one.

Simón didn’t seem to have any issues with that.

“Okay,” was his soft answer. He leaned closer to her, stopping just a breath short of her lips to murmur. “Don’t say it then.”

Then he kissed her soundly.

Ámbar couldn’t have resisted him even if she wanted to— And she didn’t. The instant his lips touched hers, she melted into it, throwing her tough act to the wind.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him with a passion.

Simón gave as good as he got. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her so thoroughly she would never be able to doubt his feelings for her again.

Ámbar’s heart squeezed with relief and exhilaration. He loved her. Simón loved her.

He was holding her so tight he was almost lifting her off the ground, like he was trying to make up for lost time.

God, he was such an idiot for making her wait this long, but he was her idiot. Hers, hers, hers.

And in the glow of the last golden rays, Ámbar wasn’t dreaming, or dying, or imagining anything.

She was madly and indescribably happy.

…

-------------------- Not me name-dropping one of my favorite bands, Simple Plan, by accident, and also just because I could.

The chapter is finally ready!! I’m so sorry for making you all wait so long, but hey, I gave Simbar a sunset kiss, so it was kind of a sweet deal, right?

I want to clarify that it’s not that I hated the previous version or that that fight couldn’t have ever happened; it could have. But, I approached it all wrong. I was thinking ‘How do I make them get to this fight?’ instead of having them naturally react to what was going on around them step by step. So, I retraced my footsteps on each stepping stone, and did just that. I hope it feels more organic now. Also, while I was rereading the previous chapters, I noticed that the tone used to be lighter too, so I made the tone lighter as well. This is not Roads That Cross! Hahaha. Sometimes I forget that.

Btw, I wrote most of this while re-watching Once Upon A Time, so if anything sounds too British or too old-fashioned, that’s why 😂

So, is everything resolved now between the happy pair? If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll know that no, it isn’t. But we’ll get there in the next chapter <3

Thank you all so much for reading. See ya!

#simbar #simbar fic #simbar fanfic #soy luna #soy luna fanfiction #My Writing #cruel summer #sorry for the wait!! I hope you like this!!

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