#I made an account last year but I have no clue how it works

[little-paper-ghost-child]

Time to go figure out what artfight is I think I might be too late to join but whatever

[rblooms]

The Love That Slipped Away.

this is part two of my previous story the love we lost.

Description: (Gojo x Reader) It's been a year since Satoru Gojo cheated on you. He thought it wouldn't hurt when you left him. He soon realized that you were the one for him.

Warnings: 18+, Strong language, MINORS DNI!

part 1 linked here

Days have been extremely dull and gray. Satoru has done nothing but work, exorcise curses, go home and rest. It's the same cycle every day. Sure, his oh so beloved Amy was there with him, but it wasn't the same. You would always lighten up a room with a smile, But Amy didn't. Satoru and Amy didn't have anything in common other than their sex life. Ever since you left him, he's been nothing but an empty shell of who he was. You took his heart with him that day.

He thought he would be better off with Amy but he was so very wrong. Amy was nothing but a pretty face with no personality. Satoru's students disliked Amy. They would always ask for you.

"Sensei! Where's Y/n?"

"I wish y/n was here."

"I miss Y/n!"

He has no clue where you are or what you have been up to. You blocked his number and social media accounts. He obviously tried looking you up but was always met disappointment when you were nowhere to be found.

A few months later. It was mid spring when Amy had cheated on him with another man. Satoru was heartbroken shattered even. Amy had left a wound on his heart. He truly did love her. His world was all about her but what is his world now that his left? He was left ruined and alone in the place he once called "home". He sat on his bed lost in thought. Heart now broken in pieces.

"Is this how y/n felt?"

He had finally felt what you felt the day you find out he was unfaithful. It was an awful feeling. It was a stomach-churning feeling. His beautiful blue eyes had opened. He realized what he lost. What he let slip away. He took your love for granted. You were meant for him. You were his person. You saw much more to Satoru other than the strongest and a pretty face. Memories of you and him being happy together flooded his mind. Tears filled his angelic cerulean eyes. He sobbed and sobbed till no more tears fell from his eyes. His porcelain skin was stained with tear streaks. His ocean like eyes were now red and puffy. His snow liked hair was disheveled and ruined.

Was it worth it? He chose a girl with a pretty face. A good fuck. Were his friends and students, right? Did he really just pick a doll face over the most extravagant person who always bighted a room with just their presence alone? Whose voice and smile always made his heart flutter like a bird in cage ready to burst. His warm bed that he once shared with you was now cold and barren. When was the last time he got a proper goodnight sleep?

He would do anything to get you back. no matter how long it takes. He has to see his other person. The person who still has heart.

He walked around the streets of Tokyo. He looked at the Stores and Cafes nearby. The cherry blossoms where in full bloom. Streets were covered in beautiful pink leaves. He eyed the Pastries that people were handing out. The sweet fruity delightful aroma of the pastries filled his nostrils. There was on peculiar scent that caught his attention. It was your scent. That sweet scent you always had. It was as if spring had blossomed all over you. He would never forget that sweet scent you always had.

His eyes widen and he looked to where the scent was. His eyes rapidly scanned over everyone. All he could hear was the sound of his heart beating. His eyes fell on your beautiful smile. There you were. God, you looked so mesmerizing. You were glowing. A sight for sore eyes even. His cerulean eyes were focused on you. The pink petals that flew in the wind complimented you so damn much. He has fallen for you all over again.

He was so happy he has finally seen you after so long. He walked towards you. His heart was pounding like crazy with each step he took.

"Y-Y/n..? is it really you...?" He spoke softly but loud enough to make you look at his direction. His heart skipped a beat. Your beautiful colored eyes stared at his disgustingly beautiful eyes.

"Satoru." You replied with a nonchalant voice. His heart ached with the emptiness in your voice. Your voice used to be sweet like an angel.

"You look good." Satoru complimented you with a soft smile but all it left was a sour taste in your mouth.

"Don't try to sweet talk me" You scoffed at him. Satoru awkwardly smiled.

"It's good to see you again."

"I wish I could say the same" There was a hint of sadness in your voice.

"L-Look I just wanted to-" Satoru was caught off by a voice coming from behind you.

"Sorry sweetie the line was really long." A tall man with long black hair with weird bangs and black circle stud earrings approached you. The unknown man gave you a gentle kiss on your cheek while he wrapped his arms around you. He had a pastry package with him.

"Oh? Satoru what are you doing here?" Satoru got a better look at the man Infront of him. It was his best friend Suguru Geto. They were friends back in high school before they separated ways.

"Suguru? What are YOU doing here?" Satoru was caught completely off guard. Why was his best friend here with his beloved? So many questions swirled in his head.

"I'm here shopping with my lover" Suguru wrapped his muscular arm around your waist pulling you into his side keeping you in a secure grasp. Satoru had jealousy and sadness in his bright blue eyes. Seeing you with another man had his heart aching. Your sweet warm smile wasn't for him anymore. He is no longer the man you wake up to every day. That should've been HIM by your side. Not Suguru.

"You guys know each other?" You asked your boyfriend Suguru turning your face to look at his beautiful face. He was smiling. "We have some history from back in our high school days. Long story short he's my best friend." Suguru gave you a warm smile. "So, who is he to you?" Suguru asked you with sweet smile.

"He's the unfaithful ex-boyfriend I've told you about." You said with a sigh. Satoru's heart twisted with sadness and guilt at the word "unfaithful". He eyes didn't dare to meet your eyes. He knew what he had done. How could he ever get you back? There's no way he would be able to call you his again. The guilt that drowned him was enough to make him puke.

"Oh, so Satoru is the man that crushed your heart all those months ago?" Suguru was looking at Satoru with nothing with disappointment. "I'll admit Satoru. I never expected this from you. How did you let such a sweet person slip through your fingers like sand. Hm well, I guess if it wasn't for your fuck up, I wouldn't have landed such a lovely person."

Suguru looked at his white-haired friend. Satoru looked ruined as he finally faced the music. "I never meant for shit to turn out like this. Fuck! I'm so sorry Y/n. I know an apology isn't going to change the fact I hurt you. I know we can't fix shit between us. I finally realized how much you loved me. You were my everything and still are. You gave me your all. I was pathetic to not treat you the same way. But I've lost you now. Even though I'm not the one who's going to be by your side anymore at least someone will." Tears fell from his Ocean colored eyes falling onto the pale sidewalk. People looked the commotion happening but carried on their day.

You looked at Satoru as he silently began wiping his tears. Suguru's grasp around your waist tightened. Suddenly, the memories you tried so hard to forget came back. The day you ended things with Satoru. The day your heart was shattered to pieces. The one fucking day you saw him and his girlfriend passionately making love. skin on skin. lips on lips. hand in hand. It all came back to you. You watched as the man in front you broke down in tears. His eyes becoming puffy. His blue ironed button up was now wrinkled and stained with tears.

You grabbed Suguru's hand and intertwined it with yours. He let go of the grasp he had you in. You looked at the broken man Infront of you.

"I wanted you and only you. But you wanted something more. And I couldn't give you that. You made your decision when you picked her over me. I gave you my word, my loyalty, my trust. But you didn't give me anything. I always ate dinner alone waiting for your arrival, but you would eat another womans dinner and share a warm meal together. Where was I when you went to her house to fuck? Was I even a priority to you? I was questioning my worth every damn night. The lipstick stains on your neck and clothes never went unnoticed. I begged for your attention for you to look at me again, but you never batted an eye. I was never important to you Satoru. I never was. The nights I slept alone and cold in our shared bed were always the worst nights ever. You only started caring once I left." You looked at him once more before turning around and walking away with your boyfriend hand in hand.

Satoru can only stare with tears running down his face. He was an idiot to come looking for you. He was an idiot losing you in the first place. Your words struck his heart. He looked at you as your walking away from him. He has to live with the guilt of betraying you. He managed to pick himself up and head home. The sky turned gray, and rain started pouring. He hopes the rain will wash away his sorrow. No one will ever replace you again. His love that slipped away. Maybe one day. just maybe you will comeback. Until then he'll wait for you with open arms.

Thanks for reading!!

Bloo Note: Hey guys so sorry for part 2 coming out so late. I was not gonna make "The Love We Lost" a part 2 originally lolol. BUT I did mange making a part two while juggling school. Ending was INSANLEY rushed but hope u guys eat this up (or hate it idc). credit to the people who made the dividers!! taglist: @kawaiivillainess98

[accio-victuuri]

year-end sugar rush round up 🍭

it’s time for the last round up of 2023. we have made it through another year filled with clownery and love for the boys! as per my tradition in posting year end candy recaps, i am releasing early 31st cause i am gonna be busy with nye shows. i hope you enjoy looking through all the happiness the final month gave us. have a great new year’s eve everyone!!!

if you wanna look through the past months or year/s then go to this link. 🔗

i’m adding a little exercise to this post tho and ask you, what are your top 5 cpns of the year? please comment or reblog with your answers!

• The tattoo rumor resurfaces ( new clue? )

• Bowing to the crowd as thank you

• 13 fake rumors - from the vault

• potential wedding photoshoot and “superman can’t fly”

• not really cpn but a media account on tiktok posted a video of xz’s appearance in MBS. they used the tags related to xiao zhan for more views, but they included one that has wang yibo’s name on it. 😂 i know that they might have just chosen an already existing tag with xz and wyb name on it and forgot to edit it. but it’s still a funny incident.

• 12/3 ZSWW Fake Rumor ( pre singapore timeline )

• 12/4 fake story contribution ( wolf mates for life )

• Washing candies only make it sweeter

• An example of bjyx being an open secret ( sort of )

photos were going around of a yibo vcr played in a chanel annual meeting in china. we were all happy to see wyb lookin so good and fresh faced, but what we noticed is his top.

the style of top he was wearing (p1) is very similar to that of GG’s (p2) at the airport when he was flying back to Beijing. it’s probably because the weather is getting colder so they wear this instead of their usual esspensive t-shirts?

the point is it’s kind of like the same-style in a close timeframe from each other. so it seems like their tastes in casual clothes are still very close.

• 12/7/23 Candies ( GQ MOTY + XZS Singapore vlog)

• The GQ MOTY hat was a gift from XZ 🤍 // Part two : I have to say that this has become a favorite one among cpns and has become notorious since so/os from both sides are trying so desperately to wash it. those on xz’s side using rocco’s 227 kadian to dispute everything even if it was their fault they were called out while xz was busy working his ass of shooting LOCH. this is just a reminder that the celebrity is not equal to their fans. whatever drama both sides do to each other, has nothing to do with us and does not reflect the boy’s relationship. 🤍

• Coffee from Singapore CPN ☕️

• All the things that happened Monday Morning of 12/11 which includes the magazine covers, pants, xz going online for a moment etc.

• xiao zhan’s snowman ⛄️

• The fact that WYB was wearing the bone necklace tho hidden during his BAZAAR photoshoot. The ones in focus were of course Chanel, but those who pay attention will see it. A proof of how special it is. Imagine WYB being bare faced and only had stuff that he actually needs, and he decided to keep the necklace on.

• Not exactly CPN but more of a similarity i love to see. cause Shandong Satellite TV decided to air BAH right after SBMS! We love to see their works not only be shown in online platforms, but also in satellite TV stations.

• Candy Throwback : Alexander Mcqueen shoes, Nike off white & WYB’s missing mole

• 12/15 double attack of stock photos from XZS and YBO. The black and white theme! Anytime these two decide to give us some update is a happy day!

• Du Hua describes WYB’s looks as that of a rabbit

• Tencent Video All Star Night CPNs 💛

• 12/19 they both went back to Beijing. ZZ was in Shanghai to film and WYB also filmed CCTV stage. The thing is WYB started filming at 2:00 AM and then he was back at the airport to leave at 10:00 AM. They both arrived to BJ so close to each other. CPN is they tried really hard to be back home & be together that day ♥️

• throwback cpn : wyb prepares xz’s room in hengdian (2021)

• their studios posting so close together for winter solstice! tho wyb’s is a preview for his new single, ybo still greeted people.

• Winter solstice CPNs ( WYB’s song preview and GG’s photoset )

• Clowning about a possible secret message from a 9key code

• “Everything is lovely” similarity from xzs caption and yibo’s new single and more clues like a possible connection to an lrlg post & what looks like a rabbit and character for ox.

• black and yellow similarity!

• 12/26 WYB EP cpn post ( teaser lyrics )

• FAE : Free and Easy sweater

• Same style of editing between XZS and YBO who we all know are dating ☺️☺️☺️

• 12/28 candies

• Marie Claire x Xiao Zhan issue 🍭🍬

• Yibo’s new singles : Bystander & Everything is Lovely

• LRLG 12/30 translation and short commentaries

• LRLG responding to cpf comments

• Wang Wang Xianbei 😂😂😂😂

• Similar clothes and Participating in the same single for a nye song

That’s all for now, See you next year!!!! ❤️💛💚

[amberluvsbugs]

My reaction to the news you just posted:

I saw your 'I lost someone' post a few days ago, and I have no clue what was going through that person's head for them to do that. Neither you, your co-workers, nor anyone in the fandom who may be suffering from illness deserved to be deceived like that.

My heart goes out to you, and I hope you're doing okay now. 💖

(If you're comfortable clarifying this for anyone who didn't see that post and may want to know the full context (no stress if you don't want to ofc), was Ari initially claiming to be dying of cancer or was it something else? Either way, it's still disgusting what they did.)

thank you it really means a lot. ;;;; In case anyone didnt see the post I made a while back, this is the full story for clarification: This all started on April 29th when I received a DM from my co-worker Toby, saying that a Poppy Playtime fan and friend we will call Ari, who he told me was 18 and has come to know for a solid year, was set to be sedated on May 6th due to having an incurable cancer. Because of this, he wanted me to create an illustration for her before she passed which I immediately took up the offer. Now, for clarification, I don't trust what anyone says in the PPT community. I am aware of how immature and dangerous the community can be. But when it's coming from someone I know and trust, I put my trust forward on that person. I don't mess around when it comes to someone nearing their death. So I got in contact with her, made sure she saw the illustration I made for her, and for the past week after work hours, I would talk with her in VCs and chill at every chance I got to make sure she was happy and having a good time. She acted very kind and sweet to me and so many others who would join the VC as they also soon came to know of her upcoming passing as well. On Saturday, May 4th we hosted a podcast for her as a subtle final farewell to the whole server. And on Sunday evening at 5 pm, me and Toby talked with her one last time in a private vc until she had to take her final leave from Discord. At 6 pm, me and Toby stayed on call listening to the Caretaker album fully (as we both had a big fascination for The Caretaker album, Everywhere At The End Of Time) as a sort of timer to let us know when she had passed, as we knew in 6 hours she would be sedated. At 1 am on Monday morning, The album finished. We both cried so hard it gave us headaches. I only got to really know her for a short time, but at that moment, she made such an impact on me and so many others in the PPT server and community. We had made art dedicated to her and I had even laid out a post for her. Everyone was mourning over Ari’s departure and for 4 days me and Toby were a MESS of emotions of grief. That was until I received a message from Toby on Thursday, May 9th, saying he needed to speak to me urgently in call. Toby told me that he had been watching Ari's activity and found something off with it as it had recently gone active a few times. I told him that maybe it was her friend having access to her account in her passing but Toby immediately showed me proof of the activity that's been going on in another server and on her Roblox account that she had. And that's when we needed proof or confirmation. For the past 4 hours, we did our research to find leads on her. We eventually found her school which apparently confirmed that she was 14, NOT 18, and we got in contact with her parents and asked them about Ari to which they were confused about this whole thing and told us that she was here. Which CONFIRMED that she was still ALIVE. We filled in on the parents for what Ari did and she is no longer going to have access to her electronics. We were both devastated at this point and absolutely furious. Everything we did for her, and the community, was all for nothing. She used and fooled us by a means to get attention and to specifically get in contact with Toby and be forward with him as a minor. We dedicated hours and days to her, mourned and cried for her, all for it to be crumbled down into a fake death. We were beyond disappointed, me especially as I don't take kindly to this sort of thing. I don't get mad. In fact, I try to be a kind person to everyone, but the fact someone would take advantage and play death like this to us for attention is disgusting and just wrong. I have moved on from this but please don't make this a big deal. They were 14 and this will not stop me from doing what I love for the PPT community or whatnot. It's just a life lesson I will take to heart and be careful to not put my full trust in someone unless I have clarification that they are indeed going through a death-like situation like this.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for sending "anonymous hate mail" to someone on Tumblr?

The title sounds extremely horrible, i get it, but let me explain. Also this isn't recent what occurred but got brought up which is why I'm asking.

I was 17nb when this started. This woman was 7 years older then me. We met through a charity event me and my brother went to. We became friends as I kept volunteering there. She was shy but charismatic. She asked if my brother was my boyfriend which had made me cringe, but was an interesting start to a conversation.

She became my friend, as stated. She would text me every day. When I turned 18, me and my twin rented a place. I went to this woman's house a few times, but she would come to my place quite a bit. I would hold biweekly dinners at my house and I'd invite my other friends and my siblings (20m who I volunteered with, and well my twin but she lived there).

For 3 years this woman would text me every day. She was the first person I came out to as nb and she actually cut my hair for me and helped me buy androgynous clothes. She constantly talked about love and romance to me. She practiced flirting with me, usually I'd flirt and she would coach me. She almost kissed me once, barely missing my lips. I noticed some of the moves i would do, she would do to my brother during these dinners. Not a big deal to me or my brother. My twin thought it was weird but decided it didn't hurt anyone.

We started fighting a bit over small things. She would misinterpret what I said and would get upset, and then I'd defend myself and try to explain, all while she would cry. She would say something extremely rude and then say I misunderstood what she said. Just small things.

My twin was understandably upset. My brother was frustrated but stated it was between me and this woman.

It came to a head when my brother's girlfriend came to a dinner. She is super sweet and super kind and absolutely shy. This woman would constantly speak over her, cursed st her, and actually physically pushed her out of the way.

That night she called my brother and told my brother she had always had a crush on him and liked him. My brother told her he had a girlfriend and he never liked her like that. I called her and told her off for treating someone like that, and I want to make it clear I had no clue she called my brother until weeks later.

We grew more distant. If j said anything she didn't like, if I tried to tell her how I felt or bring up an argument and try ro resolve it, she would claim I was confronting her and being overemotional and would not text me back for days. I got blocked and unblocked multiple times. I decided I was going to stop being her friend.

now, during all this I had gotten a Tumblr because this woman convinced me. I ended up getting locked out after I had gained over 1000 followers (more then she had). I have suspicions she changed my password when we had hung out, because i had my login saved and it was always logged in and when I had went to get back in, it was logged out and my password didn't work.

It sucked but I didnt get back on. This woman would bring up Tumblr memes and trending things where we volunteered at and I would have no clue. She took this as proof I wasnt on Tumblr anymore....and I wasnt.

Except I remembered her account and decided to search it, because she brought these amazing cookies to where we volunteered (please note, the reason she brought them was because It was a going away party for me as I was no longer volunteering. This was the last time I saw her in person and I never had contact with her after) and told me she had found the recipe on Tumblr. I remembered these cookies when my friend decided to have a bring your own cookie Christmas party months later. I went to the woman's Tumblr to see if I could find the cookie recipe.

Well I found more then I expected. I found her talking shit about me and my siblings. She claimed my brother led her on and had attempted to have a ONS with her. She claims that he would constantly text her and flirt.

She claimed I was a bitch and that I purposely caused her to lose friends (people i had invited to these dinners that I was friends with). She gave us nicknames, so I didnt really care, but I could tell who was who because well it was about me. Everyone is allowed to vent, and I didnt go through every post because it just seemed to me she was using Tumblr as a diary.

But then I saw an ask she answered and I broke out in a cold sweat. Someone asked if my deadname was my nickname she had used. This woman confirmed they were one in the same. I was shook and didn't even understand what I was reading, and clicked the link she had added.

The link was to her writing blog. It was a link to her original story, with the main character as herself. She had written fucking fanfiction about us. I couldn't make this up if i wanted to. She used MY ACTUAL DEADNAME for me, as well as describing me to a tee and including identifying info (such as my tattoos). She used my brother's real name and also my twins. In the story, my twin wasnt my twin but just a sister. There was enough information though that if someone irl who knew us read it they could absolutely say who was who, especially since it used OUR REAL NAMES.

She also wrote blurbs and AUs of this story that was ongoing. There was more then one blurb where my character died. She killed me off. In one story my character was SA'd. It was very creepy to me. She also happened to post in an update to the main story that my brothers character moved. She described where he moved, describing the house the street etc. She didn't name streets but it was the EXACT location my brother moved. I dont know how she knew because my brother NEVER posted it and had moved within the past week of her update.

I did tell my brother and my twin immediately. Both were weirded out and my brother ended up getting a security system because we think she stalked him (he was receiving weird messages at his work and on his car). My twin and I moved and got one as well *we didn't move because of her but because rent was cheaper elsewhere*.

On her writing blog she answered an ask that basically said these were based on real people. She even jokingly said that "they'll know exactly who they are if they read this, they're described perfectly". After that confirmation where she admitted, j sent her a few anonymous messages. I never cursed her out, I never called her names, and I never said she should kys.

In one ask i said if she was writing about real people maybe she should describe them differently as it seemed identifying. In another I told her it seemed unhealthy and she had issues. In the final one I told her to seek help.

But I guess my asks made people wake up and realize. She got multiple messages apparently and then deactivated because of the anon hate.

I didnt mean to start the onslaught but apparently I caused it.

Just recently I went back to where I used to volunteer. I found out that apparently she had gotten online hate and had a decline in mental health. She quit her job and quit volunteering and ended up voluntarily admitted herself to a psych hospital. She is out now, and apparently doing good, but she has stated how she almost died during that time.

I never intended for that to happen and feel bad. My twin says I didnt even send hate and that I couldn't control what other people did.

So aita?

What are these acronyms?

[dhampling]

How do you think astarion would handle a tav who is actually from earth and is going to return home after defeating the Nether brain? Like maybe mystra or some other god brought them to faerun and told them to "fix it" and at first it's all like "great, sure, why not? I can do that" but they meet astarion and he gets attached only to learn that no matter the outcome their days are numbered?

Firstly - thank you so much for this one. It made me a little sad thinking about it and yet it was a weirdly bittersweet sadness? Thank you for your brain. I like it. I think it’d be quite easy to write off Astarion’s response as ‘meh. They’ll be useful while they’re here and OH NO I’VE FALLEN IN LOVE I AM UTTERLY BESOTTED’ and watching the chaos around that. In reality, I reckon there’s a big fat chunk of mirth in how he deals with them.

He’s fascinated by the fact they’re from a different world, but mainly for selfish reasons. I do think there’d be a lot of questions on his part (he’s trying to suss out if it’d be a viable proposition to return with them when they leave Toril in order to escape Cazador’s clutches).

Early on in the journey, when it’s unclear as to their actual destination - and whether the heart of the Absolute will return them anywhere near Baldur’s Gate; whether Cazador can be dealt with is up in the air, and if the party would even be willing to assist him is an entirely different question.

So I think Astarion would be scoping out every avenue of escape, like a rat in a cage; frantic for a way out, which is where the seduction comes in.

The issue is that the typical script doesn’t really work.

Astarion has no relevant contextual clues for this strange being and his charismatic advances often fall flat. As a result the traveller sees straight through him with a stoic detachment that can often come over as unnerving.

He realises he really, genuinely enjoys the traveller’s company. It’s refreshing. No city-prattle, no self-gain. He can almost feel himself beginning to regain some of his edges.

Somewhere at the back of his mind he’s aware his new companion will have to return home someday, but every day alive and free at present is a blessing.

The earthborn grows fond of him, too - despite the fact he talks their ears off frequently - they banter together along the road; spend countless late nights sharing life experiences and pointless musings when their fellow travellers are resting, and inevitably become close.

Towards the middling end of their adventure; after the drow at Moonrise, he realises that Cazador might actually be an attainable kill. He could be free forever. He has a friend willing to help him.

Then he wonders what there actually is left for him along the Sword Coast. Everything and everyone he knew, dead or gone. 

Obviously, he can’t return to earth. It just isn’t an option.

He continues to hope the gods will make an exception though.

The Absolute is eviscerated, and so is Cazador. Along the journey their bond becomes ridiculously solid - love in every sense. He wasn’t aware he was still able to feel things so strongly. He feels safe. Cared for.

He’s free, and as he turns to relish in the victory along the docks his most beloved companion simply isn’t there. 

He begins to burn, hides behind a stack of crates in a dumbfounded stupor until nightfall.

Then, he realises he has to commit them to memory. Writes pages on pages detailing every last little thing he remembers of them; commissions a portrait with the money sat in his account since the day of his death (now having accrued a sizeable interest) based on description alone. Revises it time and time again while their memory is still fresh. A locket pendant he attaches to his belt.

He has a lot of life left to live and he doesn’t intend to forget them. 

Hundreds of years later and they still flit into mind. Careful, compassionate; his liberator. He’ll regale new friends and lovers with tales of this strange creature given by the gods. Likely long gone by now. 

Always there somewhere in his mind.

[tgmsunmontue]

Online & Anonymous 4/16

Hangster. Explicit. Years before they meet in person Bradley and Jake strike up a friends-with-benefits relationship online. And then something more like an actual relationship.

Odd year = Bradley's POV and Even year = Jake's POV

>>Bradley chatting (bold and italics)

>>Jake chatting (italics)

2005/2006 2007 2008

2009 – Bradley

>>Have you heard of Grindr?

>>Why do we need Grindr, we have this…

>>Ha. So you have heard of it!

>>You can use Grindr to pick up outside of this messaging app. I think I’m going to sign up.

>>Also you can send and receive pictures, if you’ve got a good enough phone with a camera.

>>You want to see photos of me?

>>I wouldn’t be averse to seeing some.

>>Would you send me photos of yourself?

>>That would sort of be the point.

                He’s never going to push, and also, the only phone capable is expensive, but god he really does want to see a picture or two of Jas. His imagination is fine, but he’s intensely curious about whether Jas lives up to his imagination. Not that he’s settled on any one image, they haven’t exchanged specifics, other than length and cut/uncut status. They’ve been talking long enough for Bradley to have picked up enough other clues. The way Jas talks, is from Texas and in the military, he’d bet that he was white, but sometimes he imagines darker skin under his fingers when they chat.

>>Do you have a type?

>>Yes and no.

>>That’s a cop out.

>>It’s also the truth.

>>My type is male.

>>I’m not that much older than you.

>>I’m still figuring things out as well.

>>So what have you figured out so far? What do you know you like?

>>A little bit of stubble, but not beards.

>>Muscular arms and thighs.

>>Close to me in height.

>>And confidence. The guys I’ve been with, where it’s been good? Like really good? They’ve been… sure of themselves. Their confidence was justified nine times out of ten.

>>Yeah? I’m going to take that as life advice right there.

>>You do that. Haven’t led you astray yet have I?

…            …            …

                Grindr is different. It feels more risky, with putting photos out there, and having the location enabled. He leaves his face out of the images, matches with guys who do similar, mutually assured discretion and also deniability. While it might feel riskier, it is also so much easier to hook up. As time passes more guys download the app and the number of matches goes up. With all the dick pics he’s sent, he has seen more dick in the last few months than he has in the entire six years prior.

                Sometimes the hookups are mediocre, rarely complete busts, but on the whole it works for him when he’s on leave. He occasionally looks when he’s not on leave, but he reinstalls the app and then deletes it in moments he knows are safe. He doesn’t trust the people around him to respect his privacy and not poke around, despite having a passcode on his phone. He still uses his laptop to chat with Jas through the website, and he realizes they could email each other and send photos that way. He could just get a free email account.

>>So. I bought myself a new phone.

                Bradley reads the message, lets his breath out slowly, licks his lips and feels his entire body prickle with anticipation. This feels like a next step. And it comes just as he was about to suggest they exchange email addresses.

>>Yeah?

>>Any particular reason?

>>You know why.

>>Stop playing dumb.

>>Could have saved the money. Just had a thought that we could email each other.

>>How safe is that?

>>Anyway. I made an account. You want my user name?

>>Is it not 00JASTYX?

>>No. It’s not.

>>That would have been easier.

>>Are you going to tell me?

>>Nope. Think I might make you work for it?

                Bradley laughs, shaking his head.

>>Contrary bastard.

>>You don’t think I’ve already earnt it?

>>Just thought you might like the thrill of the chase.

>>You can’t see me but I’m rolling my eyes.

>>Am I not worth chasing?

>>Kind of feel like I already caught you.

>>Exactly. So now you have to find me. I’ve tried to make it worthwhile.

                Bradley’s mouth goes dry.

>>Really now?

>>Yep.

>>Challenge accepted.

…            …            …

                He can’t spend every moment trawling through Grindr profiles. That way lies many things, including a potential dishonorable discharge if anyone sees him. He doesn’t stop to pay much attention to the photos, instead paying attention to the brief words. He knows how old Jas is and where he’s from and that he’s in the military. So he turns off the location, because he could be anywhere in the world for a start. There are hundreds, if not thousands. A needle in a haystack comes to mind and he knows why the location aspect is so important. He’ll persevere though.

                Early 30s. Nope.

                New York native. Nope.

                Student. Nope.

                Late 20s. Nope.

                Athlete. Nope.

                Fit. Well yes, he’d have to be, but he’s also Canadian. Nope.

                Mid-20s. Southern boy. 6’1”. Good with words, better with my hands. Maybe?

                He looks to the username then and it’s TJASX and he laughs. This has to be him and he looks at the first photo. Bradley stares. If this is Jas, he’s gorgeous. Or at least his body is. He’s known Jas is military for over two years, and hell, he might not be anymore. Although he suspects he is, body like that posing in the photos, face carefully cropped out to just show the hinge of jaw or column of his neck. His dog tags are even visible in one photo. He should tell him to remove that photo, because that photo feels like confirmation that this is definitely him. Bradley doesn’t know whether to admit that he’s also military, that’s safe enough surely.

>>Just as gorgeous as I thought you’d be.

>>Those photos actually of you?

>>Of course. Why would I use someone else’s photos?

>>Because people lie on the internet.

>>Are those photos yours?

>>Yep.

>>You’re hot.

>>So are you.

>>Glad you think so.

>>I’m serious, I was a scrawny kid. Had to bulk up but I’m always a little self-conscious.

>>Well you’re gorgeous.

>>Nothing to be ashamed of.

>>Want to lick you all over.

>>One thing though, you need to take your dog tags off if you’re going to be posting photos.

                He pauses, thinks about what he’s going to type next.

>>I took off mine.

                He sucks in a breath and closes the app, terrified but no idea why. He knows Jas won’t care, but it still feels like he’s exposing himself, baring himself to attention that he has avoided for the last few years. He taps the phone against his forehead, breath coming a little short and he opens it again.

>>Holy shit.

>>Nick?

>>Yeah. Hi.

>>You’re military as well?

>>Seriously?

>>Yep. DADT and all that.

>>Holy shit. That’s a weird coincidence, right?

>>Well, 1 in 10 roughly right? Just lots of people not telling.

>>Thought I could maybe tell you.

>>Thanks for trusting me I guess. That’s… it makes me feel a little less alone.

>>You know what I mean?

>>Fuck. Yeah. Sorry. I know exactly what you mean. I should have told you sooner.

>>Would have been nice. But I get it.

>>It’s not something you go yelling or sharing with anyone.

>>No, not just anyone.

>>I feel weird that I know all of this stuff about you but I don’t know your name.

>>Well. DADT right?

>>Do you want to know my name?

                He’s nervous, because he will share his name with Jas if he wants it, even if he just gives him Brad, that’s good enough.

>>Nah. I think I’m good actually. I think of you as Nick. Maybe if you were a bunch of letters and numbers I might want something more like a name.

>>But Nick works for me. If we ever meet in person, then we can exchange our real names. Also don’t know if I’m ready to give you my name, which I know is probably hilarious to you considering all the tips you had to give me when we first started chatting online.

>>I think of you as Jas. Like Jace, short for Jason or something. So your random letters and numbers is a name for me too.

>>Oh. Huh. That’s cool. Think you’ll find my name funny if we ever meet up.

>>When.

>>What?

>>When we meet up. Not if.

>>Okay. When we meet up. You’ll still find it funny.

>>Wait.

>>Do you always limit yourself to only when you’re on leave?

>>Yeah. Pretty much. For in person that is. Not worth it otherwise.

>>You know my friend that I came out to?

>>Yeah.

>>I think he’s under the impression that you’re my boyfriend or something.

>>Well. I’m something, that’s for sure.

>>Ugh. Bad joke.

>>I meant that I’m at least a friend. That’s something, right?

>>Oh.

>>Yeah. You’re definitely a friend.

>>My hot single gay friend that I jerk off with on the regular.

>>Yep. I’d say the same about you.

>>Yeah, but you have more than just me.

>>Jas, how much time do you think I have to spend online messaging people? You’re pretty much it, and have been for a while.

>>Really?

>>Yeah. I’m going out and hooking up with guys when I’m on leave, and where I feel like it’s not going to implode my career. But I spend more time being deployed and chatting with you.

>>Oh.

>>You okay?

>>Yeah.

>>Did you think I had a whole bunch of guys I was chatting with?

>>Yeah.

>>Did a few years ago. You’re the only one I kept it up with. I enjoy talking with you as well as the sex stuff.

>>You’re the only one I ever talked to.

>>You’re allowed to talk with other guys. And hook up with them.

>>You don’t owe me your fidelity.

>>I am using Grindr to hook up, but it’s a one and done kind of thing.

>>Do you think if we ever meet up it’ll be a one and done?

                Bradley scrubs at his face, doesn’t want to make false promises.

>>I don’t know. We might take one look at one another and hate each other.

>>I don’t know.

>>I want more than hooking up.

>>Yeah.

>>Me too.

2010 - Jake

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

im bored and overheating. jeremy donaldson headcanons BLAST 🫵 (tw poor family dynamics and suicidal themes)

Jeremy was born to an upper-class father and a lower-mid-class mother, and is the eldest of the two Donaldson children. His sister is younger than him by about five or so years

While he had a pretty good relationship with his mother, he couldn’t say the same about his father. In fact, he hated him. He was cruel to just about everyone in the home- his mother especially- and Jeremy was never opposed to butting heads with him

When his father wasn’t being an asshole, he was out on business. As a result, Jeremy would often take charge around the house. This is where he first began cooking- something he is deceptively talented at nowadays

This upbringing was also the first catalyst that got Jeremy into journalism… He couldn’t stand how his father could get away with practically anything at home, and then waltz out in public with an innocent smile and have everyone lick his feet. Even in his younger years he developed a strong moral compass, and an unwavering sense of integrity.

The average person would assume Jeremy’s doing quite well off, being the head anchor of the National Nightly News. He certainly isn’t aching for a pay raise, but he’s solidly middle class. Most of his suits are deceptively affordable, and he saves a lot of money on ties by buying the ugliest ones he can find (he prefers them like that, anyways).

The only part of his taste he considers ‘expensive’ is his food taste. He’s not buying or making gourmet meals, mind you, but he’s quite particular about the things he eats, and accounts for higher quality ingredients in his budget.

(Honestly he probably spends more money making those god damned sandwiches than he does on the majority of the other things he buys himself)

He’s aroace but has no clue what that is, so he doesn’t know that. Every time Jenny tells him about another one of her terrible dates he feels an inexplicable wave of relief how little he cares about getting into the dating scene. He keeps saying he’ll get around to it eventually but he’s lying to himself.

Jeremy- perhaps obviously, considering the events of the Heatwave- doesn’t really have a good grasp on his mental health, or how to properly maintain it, or anything like that. After any of the better endings, he’ll occasionally crack a really terrible joke about the situation because that’s the only way he can express vulnerability. His friends don’t like it when he does this.

(“Are you sure you’re ready to go back on the news again…? I just don’t want a repeat of last time”, “You’re asking if I’m going to shoot myself in the head again? If you get me another interview with Geoff Algebra, I’d probably consider it.”, “☹️☹️☹️👎👎👎👎”)

Jeremy gave Jenny a key to his place once, “Just in case the next [date] does turn out to be a murderer”. It was a joke at the time but considering her awful luck a part of him is legitimately concerned about it.

He hates coffee, but made a habit out of drinking it for work, and just hasn’t stopped since. He prefers tea though. He’s partial to a London fog, himself.

[garciaasfluffypen]

i kissed a girl (and i liked it)

pairing: jennifer jareau x emily prentiss word count: 1.6k warnings: none, pure fluff a/n: another work lost to the google docs! an AU in which emily is a singer and jj is her number one stan

jj had been absolutely enamored by the voice of emily prentiss since she was a teen. she felt like she practically grew up with her, going to every one of her concerts and forcing rosaline to pay her gas money for when she started playing slightly bigger venues in pittsburgh. so it came as a big surprise when her mother bought her meet and greet tickets for the lovestruck teen to meet the one and only emily prentiss as her 18th birthday gift. jj cried for a good hour when she held the tickets in her hand, her dreams finally coming true. 

the day finally came around and she dressed as cute as she could. pulling on her favorite cardigan and some overalls along with her white nikes, she made her way downstairs to find her sister all ready to drive her. they made the short drive into pittsburgh, pulling up to the venue and practically jumping out of the car before rosaline could say goodbye. she found her way inside the main lobby and made sure that she stopped by the merch stand before the line got too long. she always liked getting to venues early so she could get emily’s merch, as well as try to spy on the sound check. it seemed today’s soundcheck had ended, so she sat outside of the doors to the actual stage while scrolling through her phone. she decided to tweet a cute little picture from her stan account while she was waiting, knowing that there was no possible way for emily to see it while she was preparing to perform. after attaching the picture of her waiting at the venue, she scrolled through her timeline for a little bit, updated her mother on everything that had happened so far and even made sure to order her school textbooks before a notification popped up on the top of her screen. 

emily prentiss liked your tweet!

jj had to hide her obvious excitement as she clicked on the notification, barely believing her own two eyes as she read what was on the screen. she hadn’t expected emily to be on twitter before her show, since she would usually- from what jj remembered- take this time to warm up and cuddle with her cat, sergio, who always came on tour with her. before she had time to comprehend everything that was happening, the doors to the stage opened and she stood up, making her way inside to find her seat. she was in the center of the first row, and looked like she was going to be right in front of emily. the concert went by too fast for her liking, but it only meant that she finally got to meet emily. the girl she had been pinning over for five years who had no clue she existed. that was, until now.  

she ended up being last in line, since she was in the front of the venue but honestly she didn’t mind, she was hoping that emily would use this to their advantage, considering she didn’t have a show or anything tomorrow and supposedly was staying in pittsburgh for a couple of days. she was practically shaking with excitement as she got closer, her beauty becoming more and more obvious the closer she got. finally, it was her turn and she had to do her best to mask her obvious excitement about meeting her girl crush. 

“oh my god, you’re emily’s necklace on twitter!” emily exclaimed. “derek sends me your tweets all the time.” 

“i- you know who i am?” 

emily laughed. “of course i do, how could i forget such a pretty face like yours? now come ‘ere, i wanna give you a hug!” 

emily held out her arms and jj walked into them, smiling widely as the scent of sandalwood and cigarettes filled her nose. the brunette held her close, wrapping her arms around her body in a way she didn’t hug her other fans. 

“i can’t believe i’m actually meeting you.” jj managed to get out. “i’ve been following you since you started posting on youtube. i think i’ve been to ten out of your twelve concerts.” 

“i know,” emily chuckled. “i’ve seen you at every single one.” 

jj’s jaw dropped. “no you haven’t. there’s no way.” 

“i do. i look for you at every concert. your smile brightens my night every time i see it.” she bit her lip. “and i may or may not stalk your twitter.” 

“i- oh dear god.” jj felt her cheeks flushing red, her hands going to cover her face in pure embarrassment. “i’m so embarrassed.’ 

“don’t be! your tweets are absolutely hilarious.” emily smiled at her. “in fact, they’re so hilarious i’d like to invite you back to my rv to maybe get to know you more? if that’s okay, of course.” 

“i-” jj’s jaw dropped. “i- i have no words i- i mean yes i- yes.”

emily chuckled again and held out her hand, waiting for jj to take it before the two of them went to the back of the venue, meeting up with her security before they went outside. they climbed into the rv and jj had to stop her jaw from dropping for the third time in the past twenty minutes. the inside of the bus was exactly as she imagined it, with all of emily’s stuff thrown around along with some cat toys for sergio, who was probably hiding somewhere. as if on cue, she felt something furry wrap around her leg and she looked down, smiling as she saw sergio purring as he rubbed against her leg. 

“wow, you’re special- he doesn’t do that to just anyone.” emily smiled. “anyway, welcome to the humble abode.”

“it’s beautiful.” like you, she wanted to add. but she didn’t. “as is sergio.” 

“serg, come ‘ere.” emily picked him up, smiling as he tried to get out of her arms and go to jj.  “he’s usually a little minx but he seems to be doing good tonight.” 

jj smiled as she held out her hand, letting him sniff it. “he’s so calm.”

“he usually runs around and knocks at least three different books off the shelves while i’m performing. let me grab a change of clothes real quick, make yourself at home!”

emily pulled the curtain shut and seconds later sergio ran back out, finding his way right over to jj again as she looked around the bus. pictures of emily performing were plastered all around the place, with other pictures of her and her best friend derek and a couple of her and sergio spread around as well. some hoodies of hers were thrown on the couch, and jj moved them to the side before she sat down, chuckling lightly to herself as sergio made himself comfortable on her lap. she pet him lightly as emily walked back out, a large oversized hoodie hanging over her small frame, a pair of leggings underneath as well. she smiled at jj, sitting down on the couch with her. 

“do you want like water or anything?” 

“oh, i’m fine, thank you though.” jj smiled politely. “you inviting me to hang out is more than enough.”

emily couldn’t help but chuckle. “don’t worry about it. i’ve been meaning to ask you for a while, but this was the first time i mustered up the courage.” 

“really?”

“yeah. i’ve kinda been hoping you’d like me back since concert number three.” a small smile formed on emily’s lips. “i’ve been meaning to cover a song that reminds me of you, but…”

“but what?” jj raised her eyebrow. 

“i didn’t know if you’d get it was about you.” 

“emily, are you saying what i think you’re saying?” jj moved closer, resting her arm on the back of her couch so she could get a better look at emily. “because if you are, i’m thinking the same thing.” 

they looked into each others eyes before emily closed the gap, the taste of cigarettes overtaking jj’s senses as their lips melded together, arms wrapping around the other as they kissed. emily found herself on jj’s lap, smiling as they both broke away for air. 

“you know, if you want to show me that song you could.” 

emily smirked. “even better, i could just play it for you.” 

emily grabbed the keyboard sitting between the couch and the kitchen table, adjusting herself so she was now sitting next to jj, thighs touching. the opening chords played and jj found herself resting her head on emily’s shoulder, smiling to herself as the notes to i kissed a girl by katy perry started flowing through the air. she watched emily’s fingers fly across the keyboard, fingers gently pushing down on each and every key. emily turned to face jj for the next part of the lyrics, smiling widely as she sang.

“boyfriend?” jj cut emily off, her eyes widening. 

“i don’t have a boyfriend, love. i’m gay.” emily smiled. “and i’m gay for you, if you didn’t realize.” 

jj smiled. “i was about to say…” she grabbed emily’s hand, linking it with hers. “i really hope you were gay for me, becuase i am so very gay for you, emily prentiss.” 

“can i kiss you again?”

“always.”

[whats-amata-you]

Man it’s weird being trans. Like yeah I did always know, I did my googling waaaaaaay back in middle school and found the gender vs sex rabbit hole when I was like 11 on ye olde 2004 Wikipedia, I prayed for years for god to let me be some kind of intersex that just looks female so I wouldn’t get boobs or periods, I asked my Texan dad to call me “sir” instead of “ma’am” when I was maybe 7 and he did for a week before he realized I wasn’t going to get sick of it.

But I didn’t always KNOW. I grew up under this weird kind of rock made of autism and whiteness and being middle-class and non-denominational Christian, so I was brought up believing everyone was basically the same, and then there were The Weird Ones, but The Weird Ones were usually fine as long as they weren’t being “in your face” about things. I knew that there were men and there were women and there were intersex people, I knew what was expected of men and what was expected of women. But I didn’t know how the cishets ACTUALLY saw the queers. I didn’t know the consequences of being born in a female body but insisting on being a boy. I didn’t know what my transness would actually cost if I pushed too hard for it.

And no,I didn’t try, because I didn’t know it was an option, obviously. But I’d never seen trans people anywhere before, never heard of them outside that Wikipedia article, never saw them referenced in media (we only got PBS until I was 16 and by then I was disinterested in almost anything outside my hyperfixations). I heard about gay people, and how it was wrong to sleep with someone of the same sex, but it was the lukewarm distaste of casual homophobia that just “doesn’t want to see it.” The biggest cost I actually saw to queer people was just… people not wanting to see them kiss their partner. As an aroace kid, I didn’t understand why that would be a big deal for either side.

I’d only heard of HIV and AIDS in dry, clinical explanations in sex ed. “It’s a sexually transmitted virus so use a condom every time, it also spreads via needles so don’t do drugs. The virus works like this and destroys your immune system so even a cold can kill you. You cannot get it by breathing their air or touching them or using a toilet seat or whatever, it has to be bodily fluids and usually not saliva. It’s incurable and fatal.” In retrospect, I learned WAY more about HIV/AIDS than a lot of kids did back in the late 90s and early 2000s, so that’s a mark in favor of Washington state (or maybe just that particular school district). But I never, not even once, heard queer people of any type and AIDS mentioned in the same sentence. I never heard of “the AIDS crisis” or its impact on the queer community until after I graduated high school and met a queer or two on the internet.

My old mentor Orion would probably have been shocked and appalled. She must have lived through and seen so much that I never knew about up until the last couple years, actively chasing down this elusive thing called “queer history” that I’d never known existed until I created a tumblr account in 2017.

I’m an aroace gay gnc trans masc enby. I could fill an entire book just explaining all the different aspects to my own queerness that I’ve found over the years. Most of it is just stuff I found words for, not things I didn’t already know about myself. And I never, until 2017, had any clue what any of it actually means in the context of society, culture, or politics.

I dunno what to do with that. I’m gonna chew on it for a while longer.

[mikadll]

THA NEWS: It's Been A While, But I Made It: Medical Bills Accountability Update A.K.A. "Finally, An Update For The Donations I Got From You All Last Month"

TL;DR-- Updates have been radio silent because I can't pay using my own debit card, I have no credit card and cannot qualify for one, and the checkbook that came with my account when I first opened it years ago mysteriously disappeared, so I gave my mother the donation funds so she can deposit them in her checking account to write checks for the medical bills on my behalf. Despite this specific set of initial problems, the money you've donated *IS* going to where it is intended to be, and I am eternally grateful.

A slightly longer explanation under the cut:

Turns out that hospitals don't accept debit cards as direct payment for doctor's visit bills, which means I had to entrust all the donation funds to my mother's bank account for two reasons:

1. I do not qualify for a credit card (yet. because I have no stable source of income. You know how it is); and

2. When I first opened my bank account here in the US, my goofy ass lost the checkbook that came with it. Until now I have no clue where I last placed it in my apartment. Very oddly specific predicament but since this is an accountability post I might as well be transparent about this part too.

Hence the need to entrust the money to my mother's checking account-- so she can write the checks on my behalf, with the money you donated. I hope this is clear enough and that no misunderstandings will arise out of it.

The leftover money in my account will be used for miscellaneous financial needs (eg. groceries, dues, fees that I only heard about last minute, etc).

Again, thank you so much for your generosity and I apologize for the radio silence in the last weeks or so. It's been rough-- I'm still looking for a day job while battling my ADHD and working on my remaining due commissions. But I'm glad to say that I am still here thanks to everyone's support :]

[xoxomoonlightxoxo]

P&C | Ch. 2: Hey Flip Flops

➪ Playlist (Spotify) l Series Masterlist

6:30 a.m.

"Mira, Miraya, wake up!" I sigh as my body is awakened by the sound of my alarm clock and Jiah's voice.

"It's time already?" I whine, stretching my body for what seems like an hour. I can barely make out Jiah's words as they're interrupted by her yawns, but I'm pretty sure she said something about breakfast.

We quickly get ready. Check each other out for the 50th time, making sure we both look to die for because that's what boss ladies do, before finally heading out. It rained the night before so the air is extra crisp, which I love. Would rather have this than the 10-month winter season I had to endure back home.

Jiah was right, the knee-high boots definitely pulled the whole look together, we both look like two French girls. Talking about fashion, people in Korea (especially girls) know how to dress well. Everything, and I mean everything, from their hair down to their nails is polished and well put together. Mindblowing, as back home I could be seen wearing the same Harvard sweater for 5 consecutive days, with absolutely no shame or will to change. So, the fact that these boots are now in my possession should in itself cause a commotion, but for now, I'll settle for Jiah's reassurance and cute compliments.

Unfortunately, though, our little date had to pause as it was time to depart to our respective faculty buildings. See, Jiah is a Business major with a minor in accounting, aka money is basically going to follow her 24/7. While I'm majoring in Nursing, by choice mind you! I was going to go into Dietetics before realising that my eating habits are questionable at best, so I spared humanity with this one (you're welcome). But now, if you see me in your local hospital in my cute scrubs just know that I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing so please, just mind your business.

Anywho, we said our goodbyes and wished each other luck. Fast forward to about five minutes, and there I was, standing in front of the building that will probably make me cry, scream, laugh, and all of the above throughout the next 4 years. Nonetheless, I have come this far right? The possibility of everything I worked for going down the drain is the only motivation I need right now to do my best.

--

As I walked out of my last class of the day, the sun was already beginning to set. To be honest, everything went pretty well, I mean as well as it could go on syllabus day. My professors were all pretty chill except for one lady who intimidates the crap out of me for absolutely no reason. She has over 30 years of experience in this field and deals with new cohorts, which means she might be my supervisor. If that's the case I will have to pregame each clinical to not pass out in her presence.

I wanted to grab a quick coffee on my way back to the dorm when I felt my phone buzz.

Jiah: Heyy lovely, how are you? Have you eaten? Jimin invited us to a little get-together with his friends, so I'll pick you up at 7.

Mira: Hey babes, I'm great. How are you, love? Sure, I'll let you know when I'm ready.

Oh my god, my first party. It's no big deal but my body has definitely become more tense. I mean I know literally no one else aside from Jiah. I haven't even met her boyfriend, barely know what he looks like. But, I trust her, so as long as I stick by her everything should be fine, right? I mean what's the worst that can happen?

Caught up in my thoughts, I was abruptly interrupted by a sudden push, a body that slammed past me as I tried to open the front door of the dormitory. Ouch. I didn't have time to check who it was but they also made no effort in checking if I was okay. Looking back all I could see was a tall guy with a black hoodie who seemed to be in a rush. Jeez, people these days are just something else I swear. Whatever, I thought, maybe they were having a rough day. Nonetheless, I straightened up and made my way up to my dorm, trying to forget whatever that was as I had bigger things to think about.

--

Knock Knock Knock

"Miraya, open up, I'm here!" I could hear Jiah's screams from my bedroom as I tried to quickly unlock the door. One hand on the doorknob, the other on my dress strap. And, as the door swung open, Jiah was left in absolute awe.

"Sheesh, miss girl who allowed you to look this good?" she exclaimed, coming in for a tight hug.

"Girl, look at you! Screw your boyfriend and come live with me," we both giggled, knowing dam well that we both looked quite good. I mean go big or go home right?

"I'm almost done, I swear. But please, can you help me with this strap? It unclipped and I almost lost my mind. I don't know why this dress requires 10 people to assemble," I whine a little as Jiah quickly clasps the dress back into its position.

"Hey, what's this? Are you okay?"

"What?" I ask, as she walks us over to my mirror before pointing to a bruise on my forearm.

"Oh, yeah, so silly. This guy bumped into me as I was trying to get into the building today. But, it's no big deal. It doesn't hurt." I assure her, letting out a small chuckle.

"Are you sure? Next time you see him let me know, I'll run straight into him." she urges with pure determination on her face. I can't help but smile, reaching out and going in for a hug. We talk about our day for a little while until finally leaving the dorm.

--

"So, this party? Who else is going to be there?" I quietly ask as we make our way down to the elevators.

"Oh, just, my boyfriend, his friends, and some other people from this dormitory," Jiah explains before pressing the Basement floor.

While my nerves were somewhat calm during our elevator ride, they sure as hell were not once the doors opened and I saw the amount of people just at the entrance. My eyes were wide open as I glanced at Jiah before she looked back with a mischievous yet nervous smile.

"Come on Mira, let's have fun. Let loose!" she exclaimed, pulling my arm towards the entrance. There was no time to answer or to protest so I had no other choice but to follow her into a huge studio room with disco lights and music blasting from each corner. "Small gathering"

"Baby!" Jiah screamed, as her hold on my hand loosened and she ran to a boy in a black cap. Jimin. Well, at least, now I know what he looks like. It was cute watching them reunite. They have definitely missed each other, it was clear from the way their bodies melted into one another and their eyes locked.

"Miraya, come here let me introduce you to everyone," Jiah waved for me to come closer before I could make out the other people in the circle, and that's when my eyes stopped on him. Oh my god, no.

"Oh, hey flip flops!" Tae scrunched his nose before parading his boxy smile, waving at my yet again flushed face. I dare not to look up, hoping that if I can't see them then they won't be able to see me. A girl can dream, I guess. 

"Flip flops?" Jimin and Jiah both ask, letting out a chuckle at the funny nickname.

"Yeah, it was so funny because when we first met I was in the elevator and she ran ..."

"Ok, that's enough, thank you for your input but really, it's not that serious. Umm ... so Jimin, how was your vacation?" I quickly try to change the subject before Tae sends me into another nervous breakdown. Everyone just smiles and looks at Jimin, while Tae teasingly grins at my quick remark.

"Yeah, I mean it was honestly so nice, the boys and I went to Bora Bora. Heaven on Earth! Baby, next time, we should all go," he says, adoring eyes looking down at Jiah who was snuggled into his embrace.

"Oh, by the way, this is Jungkook. We drove all night yesterday from Busan, so excuse his appearance." Jimin smiles, pulling on Jungkook's hoodie to come forward and introduce himself. The poor guy seemed absolutely drained but managed to let out a tiny hello with a nod before stepping back into the shadow. Something about him seemed familiar but I couldn't tell what exactly.

Previous l Next

[accio-victuuri]

Reasons why we think the 26th bday message was from bunny laoshi. 🗒️

I know that a lot of us don’t need “reasons” to even cpn that xz made this letter, but it’s still fun to look at the clues that make the conclusion much stronger. a lot of us just knew once we read it, who the author is. as with all other candies, if you believe it, you do. if you don’t — there is no amount of evidence that will change your mind.

i’m so happy that the bday letter is back, last year was understandable (considering what was going on) so to have it this year made everyone emotional. as usual, it’s a beautiful letter. i am thankful that yibo is loved. that aside from us fans, he has someone close to him, who adores him that much to write something like that for him.

this post is only for the letter, not the bday photo/art. that will be a separate discussion.

A HISTORY,

As with most candies, context is key. We don’t usually react this much without it having some story behind it. There is almost always a pattern. The “birthday” message first popped up for Bobo’s 23rd bday. Then 24 and 26. You could say anyone can make a birthday message — but this is different. It’s way too personal and the way it’s written, to us who pay attention, is very xiao zhan. There were already CPNs for the past 2 years, so we were actually just waiting for the 26th bday letter — and boy did it not disappoint!

• They all start with saying hello to the *age* Yibo. It’s like this person wants to be the first one to greet WYB in his new year of life.

• The way it’s constructed is very similar. It starts with a recap for the year, what WYB has gained from the past and wishes for the future. I have to say that the 2020 letter was the start and then it evolved into what it is today because of the time they spent together. XZ now has more and more things to say.

• The message of growing up slowly is also there. I think XZ really wants this for him, that even if WYB had to “grow up” faster than other people his age, even if he has so many responsibilities — that he still gets to enjoy his youth. 🫶🏼

Even if you let someone else read this letter, and you tell them, “it’s from their s/o”, they will believe you. To those who look at it and think it’s an employee, i don’t even know what to say. You don’t even have to believe that it’s XZ, but it is most definitely WYB’s significant other. Look at UNIQ_OFFICIAL weibo account birthday caption, that’s what employees do.

Now onto the “reasons”. I have listed a couple and I know there might be more out there but here are the ones that made us 😭😭😭😭:

1. My absolute favorite part of the letter:

In the past year, you've gradually learned to relax while working hard and understood how to face the world with a gentler attitude. You've been willing to watch the stars while hurrying forward. You've been willing to enjoy a pouring rain happening one afternoon. You've been willing to quietly see the horizons at the other side of the sea. You've been willing to stop for a beautiful sunset.

A person who knows you will only be the one to write this. The level of understanding XZ has for WYB is just. I can’t. He really loves him. The things he decided to use : stars, pouring rain, sea and sunset is so THEM. He might as well add the moon to have the whole cpf symbol set completed. 😂😂😂

And for comparison, XZ wrote these words in his Oasis for the DC wrap-up:

There are two pictures that I really like, one is the beach outside of the Xiangshan hotel balcony, another is the scenery from the highway in the middle of the Hengdian Xianju forest where we frequently ran. These two different places and different views are both places that comforted me when I was lost and helpless. When I was down, I would sit on the balcony, and the sea breeze, the beach and the moonlight would give me the answer; when I was tired, I could rest on the path in between the forest scenes, and upon opening my eyes I would see the raindrops and the fog that would also give me the answer: in each and every moment, I chose to not complain or be negative, I put my all towards each choice and decision I make;

It’s how freakin descriptive he is. He has a way with words that make you “feel” what he is saying or even see it.

2. This part too, about stopping. Slowing down. It’s the same thing XZ said before. Plus in a couple of XZ’s videos, you will see shots of him admiring the sunset.

Time never pauses, but you seem to know the secret of making the world stop occasionally. You use your calmness and poise to welcome and get in touch with the world. Yibo, sunsets are beautiful, just like every dusk that you missed when you focused on forging forward.

AND THE “Yibo,” OMG. I can hear XZ’s voice in my head saying it. It’s too intimate. I know it’s his name but the way it’s written here — Are we even supposed to read this? It feels too personal 😭😭😭

But my answer is always, WYB wants to show off. He wants us to feel single. I’m in a long term relationship and even I felt single 😂😂😂😂

3. “The small number has changed again” referring to his age. There might be no hidden meaning, but some cpfs interpret this as the person who wrote it is older than him. Because he considers yibo’s age as “smaller” than his. Hello to their 6-year age gap. 👋🏼

4. There is 🎂 emoji in this letter compared to previous years. We think it’s because WYB is at home and they are celebrating together, no need to send a virtual cake. There is also some talk of XZ not being photographed today (8.4) on set. I won’t go to that part of Weibo but the fact that some people are nervous that he is suddenly MIA so close to Yibo’s bday is 👀

5. WYB went online for a bit, we thought he was gonna pull the same stunt he did last year and remove the automatic weibo bday post. He didn’t. What did he look at? The love letter? 🤔

6. Someone asked where was the quote “"stay cool, grow up slowly" on Baidu and the most popular answer is it’s from a book 君生我已老. We know XZ is fond of reading. I found a synopsis, and well, interpret it as you will…..

Excuse the google translate but you get the gist. It’s synopsis is also kind of similar to his drama SUNSHINE WITH ME. The part of age gap. Meeting and falling in love then having to separate, only to meet again. So if I’m to speculate that XZ got it here and liked it, maybe that’s why he chose to film SWM even if he has lots of scripts sent his way.

7. Similar with GG, who does not look at challenges in a negative way. How he regards it as a part of life and something he has to overcome.

Just regard all the adversities as the numerous mountains you have to climb and the endless waves you have to ride.

8. I don’t have to explain it that much. They both have a thing for “living with no regrets.” It’s all over their interviews.

As a young man full of mettle, you have no regrets.

I will stop right here. Again, to a lot of us, Xiao Zhan might as well sign his name at the end of the post and we would be like — Okay, we knew that. LOL.

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY KING YIBO! ♥️👑

[nicnavarrocage]

MS Paint Fan Adventures I'm thinking about and working on

I need to learn how to make an MSPFA account correctly, since any easy way doesn't work. But here goes the list!

Pre-Homestuck Inspired/Custom

My Little Pony is a retelling of the entire G4 MLP series in the style of an MS Paint Adventure, and not the Homestuck kind. I haven't watched the show since the start of this year and I gotta analyze every single scene from "Friendship Is Magic Part 1" to "The Last Problem" in order to get the story just like the show plot. It's currently in progress, but I didn't speed it up nor have I resumed it that much.

Camplife centers around 4 men in a camping site, eventually making way to a whole little town in a forest area. I've already done a few pages of it and have planned future events out of the comic, which I'll get to. It's planned to be half user controlled and half author controlled.

Homestuck Inspired

TGWTGQuest is about every member of the Channel Awesome community (Excluding the controversial ones, but even then they have to be mocked) and a bunch of bullshit adventures they partake in, mostly centered around the Nostalgia Critic. This might be more of a well-made shitpost than a real adventure because Channel Awesome's content really sucks. But hey, I began writing the planned pages for it! (I guess I have no clue how to make an MS Paint Adventure right, skull skull)

Caraku Levhat is about a young oliveblooded detective who resolves a bunch of federal issues and vast errors near and around the city he's in. The titular protagonist will probably have that Darkwing Duck personality if I can actually write that down.

The narration will be entirely built as a 1st person perspective from our main character, meaning everything that's told will be coming out of his own, hard-boiled words.

I can't read Homestuck so I'll just get some research outta the MSPA Wiki to help me be accurate a bit.

Jokes

Imagine a really bad gaming comic in the form of an MS Paint Adventure, minus the MS Paint and plus the Photoshop. Buckleyquest is basically most of the Ctrl+Alt+Del's comics (I have a terrible sense of humor so I can't tell if they're funny or not) that can be controlled through user input or author's choice. It has the same artstyle as the comic, albeit the first few panels, and sometimes, I have the potential to mock Ctrl+Alt+Del and its author in the fan adventure. It's gonna be the stupidest one I've made.

Dooj, simply put, is Homestuck, except a simple command will either change the storyline, change a character, add a character, or fuck everything up completely. And what's the command? DOOJ. Other commands made up as a weird word will also be included, such as MOOK, intended to revert the comic to its original story, and FOOP, which pauses the story automatically, shifting to the MSPA Reader's perspective.

Dooj may also include mockery against Homestuck, mockery against Andrew Hussie and his friends, sometimes shit I hate to write out, and cameos of characters and scenes from other webcomics.

I'm also making a similar project called KATEDREW MITCHUSSIE'S MAGNUM OPUS, which will mock Homestuck: Beyond Canon and will have a similar premise to DOOJ.

I was also planning to make a Jerkcity adventure but that would probably be controversial.

[x-i-l-verify]

20 Questions For Writers

Was tagged by @kuraiarcoiris and decided why not. :V

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

35. I have more on other sites, but since I've made my AO3 account, that's how many I've posted there.

.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

656,547. Give or take a couple thousand.

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3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently? Dream SMP. But I also have an Inscryption WIP and a couple Kpop WIPs that I really should get back to one of these days. orz But I've written for all sorts of fandoms over the years.

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4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

5) Its Suffering Was Real [Inscryption]

This is the one that came as the biggest shock to me when I went and looked at my kudos count in preparation for this write-up. Like, really? People like the fic where I torture the sassy robot trapped in the body of a stoat for 7k words that much??

4) A Shoulder to Lean On [Avatar: The Last Airbender]

WHERE did all these people come from, I have like 6 comments on this thing (not counting my replies)??? I mean, I'm flattered, but ??!!?!

3) Accepting Amelioration [Voltron: Legendary Defender]

I mean, it's a Voltron fic posted back when the fandom was in full swing, it doesn't really surprise me the kudos counter is considerable, though I am still surprised it got that much traction considering the fic is gen and not shippy. Am still proud I made the first daemon AU in the entire fandom, though, if this is my claim to fame, then I'm ok with that. :p

2) Temporary Shelter [Astro / VIXX]

I seriously have no freaking clue how this little self indulgent Kpop crossover fic became so popular, I really don't. I mean, Kpop crossovers are niche at the best of times, and these two groups aren't exactly the most popular Kpop fandoms on AO3 if you know what I mean. It basically started as "wouldn't it be fun if my two favorite Kpop groups were secretly friends all this time? How would I have that happen, tho?" and then snowballed from there. I, uh. I'm glad so many other people like it, ig? 0_0

1) Paved with Pawprints [My Hero Academia]

Of course it's the MHA pet AU fic. Of course. OF COURSE-

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5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Absolutely. It's only fair I reply if someone takes the time to read on my work and actually give me feedback about it, wouldn't you say? Plus, like most authors, I enjoy talking about my own work, so sue me. >:p

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6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't usually do angsty endings; I prefer happy or at least bittersweet ones. I guess by default, it has to be the fic where I slowly killed off America and China from Axis Powers Hetalia for 13k words, while the rest of the cast had already been dead for centuries at that point. So yes, the entire cast of that series was dead by the end of that fic. :))) IN MY DEFENSE, ok, I was actually trying to give them a bittersweet ending by reuniting them with all of their old friends and family by finally letting them rest after so long alone, but it still turned out really sad. TT TT It's basically my only fic where I can't go back and reread it more than once every couple of years, because I still end up a sobbing mess by the end.

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7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Well, I guess that's what you define "happiest" as. The most cathartic? The one with the least amount of trauma and extreme bodily injury incurred by the characters? 🤔 I guess by the latter definition, it would Kaleidoscopic Perceptions, a very fluffy USPH college AU that I actually enjoyed writing a lot despite me not usually enjoying romance or college AUs.

.

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

No, thankfully. I've gotten a couple kinda weird comments, and of course the obligatory "It's been X months since you updated were you aware?????" comments, but no outright negativity.

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9. Do you write smut?

LMAO. Absolutely not.

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10. Do you write crossovers?

Yes! I really love crossovers. I have a few common fallbacks that fit with a lot of fandoms (daemon AUs, Firefly AUs, etc.), but I also enjoy fandom-specific crossovers when I can figure out how to pull them off.

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11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No idea. I hope not!

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12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Just once for this Gravity Falls fic.

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13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yes. It had a few ups and downs, but it was overall a really positive experience, and I think it turned out really well!

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14. What‘s your all-time favorite ship?

idk that I have an ALL TIME favorite ship, especially since I hardly ever ship anything, but Frobin is pretty choice, I gotta say.

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15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Er, none of them, hopefully? I hope that I eventually get to finish all my WIPs at some point, even if it might take me awhile. >.>; But I suppose if I had to pick ONE to abandon, I'd probably pick Written In, my D&D Inscryption crossover AU. I like the IDEA for it, but writing it out is like pulling teeth, and after the first installment where the party gets together, I don't really have a lot of ideas on where to take the plot. :/ Like I have the general overarching idea but no plot structure or anything but small disconnected story beats.

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16. What’s your writing strengths?

I like to think I do a pretty good job with descriptions while not bogging the story down too much with too much detail?

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17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

Uuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh, staying motivated ig. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ if you're asking my weakness about mechanics, though, uh... exposition, I guess? Dialogue in general, sometimes.

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18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

If there is actual information included in the other language, then you better provide a translation. If it's just for flavor, though, have at it.

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19. First fandom you wrote for?

TMNT, specifically the 2003 show. It's never been posted anywhere on the internet and never will. :)

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20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Becoming Real, a Kpop fanfic based on VIXX's Voodoo Doll MV. However, it can easily stand on its own as its own original work. I consider it the most accessible story I've ever written, and it also was just very easy for me to write. Writing is often like pulling teeth for me, but not this story.

Tagging: @breezy-cheezy, @quicktothebatjalopy, @hiding-in-the-vault, @variablememory, @bleue-flora, @theriu

[hillbillyoracle]

So I’m trying Instagram again for the duration of Venus retrograde. 

I felt like I couldn’t really write what I wanted to in social sobriety without seeing if all the research I’ve done over the last year impacted how I use it. 

Right away I unfollowed so many accounts. A lot were people I knew but didn’t interact with much anymore and I wasn’t super interested in trying to rekindle a friendship with them. A lot were also topical accounts that just regularly made me feel pretty bleh. If I scrolled through a few and found myself wanting to comment to argue on a few of their posts - they were gone. Think I cut my following list by over half. 

When you do that, Instagram runs out of content to show you pretty quickly and since I’ve been off of it for the year, it really has no clue what to fill in the gaps with. The advertising especially feels gross so I’m usually done pretty quickly. 

Some thing I’m noticing though - even people I’m mutuals with and interacted with regularly before, I have to go hunting for their posts AND their stories. Like...this is not a good app. So I will probably come up with a list of the main people I want to check in on semi regularly and collect links directly to their profiles to I can see their stuff.

There’s so much friction to use the app for what it is I want to use it for that I don’t feel as in danger of getting sucked in like I used to. But we’ll see if that holds. 

For the purposes of the experiment, I’m looking to see if I can nurture relationships which I’ll measure by seeing if: 

I can get more romantic and platonic dates irl

I have more good 1-on-1 conversations with people in DMs

I have genuine fun playing with the creative confines of it as a platform

For the purposes of the experiment, I’m trying to limit feelings of stress or overwhelm which I’ll measure by seeing how often I: 

Check the app without really intending to (compulsively)

Argue in the comments of a post

Feel like I can’t stop scrolling even though I want to

Notice I’m not limiting time. Historically I have sucked with time limits so I’m not starting with that. That’ll probably be a last ditch effort to make it work if I have to. But hopefully I’ll find a balance without that. 

So we’ll see how this goes. I like that I have a natural stopping point to review how it’s going that isn’t “oh no I’m addicted again”. Crossing my fingers I can figure it out because my friends did not migrate to other means of keeping in touch well.