#I may have misread 10 as 20 <.<

[paperanddice]

Death worms may not have the sheer terror behind them that purple worms carry, but they are somewhat more common due to their smaller size. They don't need the same amount of food and hunting space as the much larger worms, and so multiple can live in a territory that would be stripped bare by a purple, making encountering one a more common possibility. And while they may be less dangerous, that doesn't mean people want to encounter them still. Wielding acid, lightning, and poison as weapons, they are hard to prepare for or counter. Bolts of lightning and a heavy spray of acid kill those who try to stay out of the worm's reach, and those who it catches succumb to its poison if they're not simply ripped apart by its vicious bites. Even its blood is dangerous, corroding metal that comes in contact with it, dulling blades and pitting hammers.

The decapus looks like a ten-armed octopus, except it has a full face with a fanged mouth on its side, rather than a beak at the center of the tentacles the way an octopus or squid does. They can be found mostly deep underground, but have been encountered in tangled forests on the surface. They are clumsy on the ground, but quite agile to climb and swing from elevated surfaces, and use this underground and from trees to spring vicious ambushes. They are actually quite intelligent, though rarely have interest in negotiating with other creatures. In fact, they seem to prefer devouring humanoids over other prey, gnomes in particular. They use their ability to replicate any sound they've heard before and clever illusions to lure prey in before dropping from above in attack, occasionally coordinating with other decapuses or natural hazards to better distract potential meals. Some decapuses will gain a sort of god complex though, and take violent control of whatever creatures they can force to obey them, using their followers to gather food, and eating them if they don't supply enough.

(I still misread the decapus every time I see it. It's supposed to be pronounced like "octopus" except with deca instead of octo, but I always read it like "decapitate")

Inspired by the Pathfinder 1e Bestiary 2. This post came out a week ago on my Patreon. If you want to get access to all my monster conversions early, as well as access to my premade adventures and other material I’m working on, consider backing me there!

Death Worm  Large 5th level troop [beast]  Initiative: +9 Bite +10 vs. AC - 28 damage. Natural Even Hit: The target also takes 10 ongoing poison damage. Miss: 14 damage. R: Lightning Jolt +10 vs. PD (one nearby enemy) - 20 lightning damage. Natural Even Hit: The death worm makes a second lightning jolt attack against a different enemy as a free action. C: Acid Spray +10 vs. PD (1d4+1 nearby enemies in a group) - 18 acid damage. Limited Use: 1/battle. [Special Trigger] Corrosive Blood +10 vs. PD - the target takes a cumulative -1 penalty to damage with the weapon it used to make the attack until the end of the battle. If this penalty reaches -5, the weapon is destroyed. Limited Use: 1/round, as an interrupt action when an enemy makes a melee weapon attack against the death worm and rolls a natural odd hit. Burrow. Resist Acid and Lightning 16+. AC 20 PD 19 MD 14 HP 166

Decapus  3rd level spoiler [aberration]  Initiative: +6 Swarming Tentacles +8 vs. AC - 6 damage. Natural Even Hit: The decapus can grab the target. Bite +8 vs. AC - 6 damage. Quick Use: 1/turn, as a quick action against an enemy the decapus has grabbed. R: Confusion Illusion +8 vs. MD (all nearby enemies) - The target is distracted (save ends). A distracted enemy takes a -1 penalty to AC and all defenses, and if it rolls a natural 1-5 on an attack roll or saving throw it becomes dazed until the end of its next turn. Wall Climber. AC 18 PD 16 MD 15 HP 44

[speakergame]

Speaker, Seer, Silence

(Spotify Playlist)

Track List:

01. California King - Larkin Poe I've got a funny feelin' / Something that I missed or misread / My feet are on the ceiling / Running, but I can't get ahead / I've got a funny feelin' / Honey, is it all in my head?

02. Honey Honey - Larkin Poe Guess you could say we're complicated / But whatcha gonna do / It's not like we could give it up / It's not like we would try

03. On The Road Again - Willie Nelson On the road again / Goin' places that I've never been / Seein' things that I may never see again / And I can't wait to get on the road again

04. The Adventure - Angels & Airwaves I want to have the same last dream again / The one where I wake up and I'm alive / Just as the four walls closed me within / My eyes are opened up with pure sunlight

05. To Be Human - Sia & Labrinth Just 'cause I predicted this / Doesn't make it any easier to live with / And what's the point of knowin' it / If you can't change it? / You can't change, can't change it

06. These Dreams - Heart And the full moon that hangs over / These dreams in the mist

07. Side by Side - Sleeping At Last The mouth is a mirror / We must watch what we say / There is no language for what we've seen / Only the sweetness that bends us to our knees / And all of these fumbling words / To explain what it means

08. After the Storm - Mumford & Sons And now I cling to what I knew / I saw exactly what was true / But oh no more / That's why I hold / That's why I hold with all I have

09. Silence - Delerium ft. Sarah McLachlan In this white wave / I am sinking / In this silence / In this white wave / In this silence / I believe

10. World on Fire - Sarah McLachlan I watch the heavens but I find no calling / Something I can do to change what's comin' / Stay close to me while the sky is falling / I don't wanna be left alone, don't wanna be alone

11. Wild Horses - The Sundays No sweeping exits or offstage lines / Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind / Wild horses couldn't drag me away

12. Carry You - Ruelle & Fleurie You are not alone / I've been here the whole time singing you a song / I will carry you

13. No Plan - Hozier Sit in and watch the sunlight fade / Honey, enjoy, it's gettin' late / There's no plan, there's no hand on the rein / As Mack explained, there will be darkness again

14. I'm Only Me When I'm With You - Taylor Swift And I don't try to hide my tears / My secrets or my deepest fears / Through it all nobody gets me like you do / And you know everything about me / You say that you can't live without me

15. Satellite Call - Sara Bareilles This is so you'll know the sound / Someone who loves you from the ground / Tonight you're not alone at all / This is me sending out my satellite call

16. A Fire On A Hill - Hands Like Houses Learning how to make a name from the words we can't keep in / Learning how to strike a flame, and draw fire from nothing

17. Thousand Eyes - Of Monsters and Men I'll be the calm / I will be quiet / Stripped to the bone, I wait / No, I'll be a stone, I'll be the hunter / A tower that casts a shade / I lie awake and watch it all / It feels like thousand eyes

18. Alligator - Of Monsters and Men I am open and I am restless / Let me feel it out / Let it all come out / Wake me up, I'm fever dreaming

19. Blood Harmony - Larkin Poe God gave mama a singin' voice / Mama passed it down to me / Always with me, near my heart / Beat in rhythm with her melody / More than flesh, more than bone / When you sing I don't sing alone

20. Man in the Mirror (cover) - Boyce Avenue I'm starting with the man in the mirror / I'm asking him to change his ways / And no message could've been any clearer / If they wanna make the world a better place / Take a look at yourself and then make a change

19. Gimme a Minute - PVRIS Just gimme a minute, gimme a minute / Thought I got through it, maybe I didn't / Thought it was over, maybe it isn't / Just gimme a minute, gimme a minute

[goatlingsvent]

I actually joined because of Moonkitti, (aka user moon who wins the monthly referral constest almost every month with fault) if it wasn't for Moonkitti I wouldn't be in this site, or this blog, and probably this goes for like maybe hundreds of players. Honestly at first it was probably bad, but not that it's widdled down to like 10-20 new players per day that's probably much easier to manage.

Even if she was managed to be beaten one month by someone, she's still gonna be the lead for a very long time. And I feel like she's at a point where she doesn't bother reaping the reward and I don't mean this in a way to imply I'm attempting to throw shade. She's been playing for a while now, a LONG a while, she started in 2014, that's like REALLY early in the site's life, she's probably just has better things to do, and yeah fair.

I still watch Moonkitti, and almost religiously so. I've watched literally all her videos at least once, and I'm excited for the day she one-day talks about warrior cat sexism, full blast. And yeah, I've kinda stopped reading the books ages ago, but I still watch her videos. Chances are if you are a warrior cat fan who watches warrior cat videos you happen to know of her even if you largely do not watch her videos.

She has two goatling videos, one in 2014 (8 years ago), and another posted only 3 years ago in 2019. So you can't say she hasn't been directing people to the site only recently, she had made that 2014 video the same year she joined, y'know in 2014, and I'm sure most users currently on the site joined AFTER she did and maybe also because she made a video of it.

I fail to see why anyone would want to be 'lol, I joined before Moonkitti' most of those people, probably aren't playing anymore, and the majority of them that are still playing, are probably staff or former staff who retired from the team on good terms. Also, Moonkitti is a beta user. She's in the hall of Fame and has a beta goat and everything. You honestly cannot get any 'superior' than being a beta member, if you are being THAT guy.

And no, I'm not secretly Moonkitti with an I, I as in I'm not moonkitti, I swear. I actually joined this year and am doing decently with my goals I've made myself. All the last goats I've aimed to get are right now anyways under 100mil, and that may seem like a lot to some, I also have a mothman goat, which can be like 50-90mil on average, and I'm an artist, I should be fine all things considered.

Even if I misread things and people are saying preMoonkitti goatlings was somehow better- my dude that's like what, 2012, 2013 goatlings where goatlings didn't even have the monster masquerade, and wouldn't for like another five years, and not even the diamond dust shop with out yet with it's seasonal exclusive DD ad boxes.

🧨

[bonkposting]

condensed session report

writing this ~30min after the session ended, so mostly jotting things down before i forget.

in summary, i had a great time running The Hole in the Oak for my partner and two other couples. it ended with a bang, which largely covered up all of the messy bits.

anxiously homebrewed bits that need attention: unified saving throws (15 at L1); quantum gear for the first delve; completely barebones ancestry system.

the party composition is interesting! i dunno that i'm a big fan of the eventual work i'll need to support religious PCs, but...

Poppy, Tiefling Cleric

Sister Evelynn, Human Cleric

Beau, Human Magic-User

Isolda, Half-Demon Thief

Belgrim, Dwarvf Fighter

character creation was a pain in the ass, as i'd shifted everyone over to OSE at the last minute to support player preference for classes. we needed to convert stats over from Knave 1e (meaning that everyone's converted stats ranged 10-16 instead of 3-18) but this was fine overall minus some fumbling on my end. inventory ended up semi-random instead of bought, which is turning out fine so far?

getting started was pretty painless, though i wish that i had a better hook ready. still need to clean that up, as it is technically a mashup of two separate hooks that now needs ironing out before the next session. the most experienced player in the group (5e forever DM afaik) immediately went full send on the 20' shaft in A1 and took a single point of damage right out of the gate.

this was actually super helpful in demonstrating how saves, attribute modifiers, and HP works.

the first real problem-solving occurred when the party realized that they needed a way through the grabbing roots in A3. i figured they would slash through, but some tree-hugging RP pushed that back for a while... up until Isolda nearly lost their short bow and torched the vines in response.

the dungeon procedure went really well on the whole, though i did forget to tally the turns as they were happening and may have missed a random encounter roll or two; it's only now that i realize that ten full turns passed instead of, like, eight.

i will say that the rolls have been all bark and no bite so far—there have been zero random encounters thus far and i think the initial "oh shit, i shouldn't waste time!" feeling (from when i explained dungeon turns/encounter rolls at the start) has largely faded away. this is pretty simple to fix, though!

the gonzo stuff is definitely landing—the party was super excited (and freaked out!) by the two hints they bought off of the root faces in A4.

i left things on a cliffhanger after a small misread on the one-way door to A38 lead to the ghostly battle spilling through the door into A36 instead of the players pouncing on them from A36. a super lucky Sleep spell from Beau dropped the ghostly lizard-man (Sleep works on ghosts in my game—sue me!) but left the warrior figment untouched.

i'm letting them end in the middle of the dungeon because A) we ran out of time and B) we ran out of time.

next session: deliver the warrior figment's absolute banger of a line and have the hook sorted out and ready to go.

yay! i had fun!

[hellsbellschime]

not sure if this interpretation is entirely correct but do you think rebekah subconsciously seeks out partners she knows will disappoint her or aren't realistically viable to reinforce her codependency with Klaus. she knows they will inevitably fail on some level, either on their own merit or because the relationship itself puts her at odds with Klaus (marcel being the primary example). Stefan was unstable during that period and I dont think they would have lasted either but I am curious about how long their dynamic would have continued if mikael had not come. It was also one of the few relationships Klaus tolerated for rebekah.

I wish we had delved more into their time in the 20's because I would have liked more insight into what exactly it was about Stefan and his relationship that differed so much that he seems to form a genuine attachment to him. If I'm not misreading he even opened up about his family and being a hybrid which is incredibly significant on its own and because it was at a point in time where mikael was still around.

I think it's a totally fair interpretation! Honestly I think that the writers may have ironically been coming at it from the perspective of Rebekah being a permanent teenage girl, who then sticks out among the crowd because they wrote all of their other teenage characters like adults, maybe with the exception of Jeremy who somehow acted 10 years younger than his sister and all of her friends.

I wish they had delved more into the 20s too, but I think your speculation has legs because for Rebekah, no time passed in between her romance in the 20s and her "reconnection" with Stefan, so in theory she must have been as "in love" with him as she ever was. The amount of time that passed between her being willing to supposedly leave Klaus behind for Stefan and when she outed Stefan for not being on their side was literally days in her perception, and that also means it had only been days since Klaus last betrayed her and stole almost a century of her life, and yet the minute she was suspicious of Stefan she ratted him out to Klaus. She clearly wasn't nearly as in love with Stefan as she claimed and/or what she thinks of as romantic love doesn't hold a candle to her loyalty and love for Klaus.

[torahtantra]

45. Parsha Va'etchannan, "The Plea." Part 3.

Part 2 explained the process and product of the religion called Judaism-a steep, vigorous climb, surveillance of the territory from a male point of view, and then, in the fullness of the light of the lamp of the sun, one must come to glow. And that means you have to be careful as to what goes in your ears...

None of this is a product of religion or faith but of maturity, assuming society and its current generation of parents, teachers and leaders have deigned to hold the line on what it means to be an adolescent. And in this era it means, first and foremost to change the way humanity has, for thousands of years misread, misunderstood and run afoul of the instructions God gave us in the Torah:

Love the Lord Your God

6 These are the commands, decrees and laws the Lord your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, 2 so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the Lord your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. 3 Hear, Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the Lord, the God of your ancestors, promised you.

4 Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.[f] 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

10 When the Lord your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, "Peace, humor, and learning" to give you—a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, 11 houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant—then when you eat and are satisfied, 12 be careful that you do not forget the Lord, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.

13 Fear the Lord your God, serve him only and take your oaths in his name. 14 Do not follow other gods, the gods of the peoples around you; 15 for the Lord your God, who is among you, is a jealous God and his anger will burn against you, and he will destroy you from the face of the land. 16 Do not put the Lord your God to the test as you did at Massah. 17 Be sure to keep the commands of the Lord your God and the stipulations and decrees he has given you. 18 Do what is right and good in the Lord’s sight, so that it may go well with you and you may go in and take over the good land the Lord promised on oath to your ancestors, 19 thrusting out all your enemies before you, as the Lord said.

20 In the future, when your son asks you, “What is the meaning of the stipulations, decrees and laws the Lord our God has commanded you?” 21 tell him: “We were slaves of Pharaoh in Egypt, but the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand. 22 Before our eyes the Lord sent signs and wonders—great and terrible—on Egypt and Pharaoh and his whole household. 23 But he brought us out from there to bring us in and give us the land he promised on oath to our ancestors. 24 The Lord commanded us to obey all these decrees and to fear the Lord our God, so that we might always prosper and be kept alive, as is the case today. 25 And if we are careful to obey all this law before the Lord our God, as he has commanded us, that will be our righteousness.”

Driving Out the Nations

7 When the Lord your God brings you into the land you are entering to possess and drives out before you many nations—the Hittites "who fears", Girgashites "thieves, infertile" , Amorites "talkers", Canaanites "Royals", Perizzites "rural villager", Hivites "tent villagers" and Jebusites "those trodden down", seven nations larger and stronger than you— 2 and when the Lord your God has delivered them over to you and you have defeated them, then you must destroy them totally.[g] Make no treaty with them, and show them no mercy. 3 Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, 4 for they will turn your children away from following me to serve other gods, and the Lord’s anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you. 5 This is what you are to do to them: Break down their altars, smash their sacred stones, cut down their Asherah poles[h] "progression to happiness, that goes straight in!" and burn their idols in the fire. 6 For you are a people holy to the Lord your God. The Lord your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession.

-> There are Seven Nations and Seven Days:

The First Day: Hittites "who fears".

The Second Day: Girgashites "thieves, infertile",

The Third Day: Amorites "talkers", 

The Fourth Day: Canaanites "royals",

The Fifth Day: Perizzites "rural villager", 

The Sixth Day: Hivites "tent villagers" and

The Seventh Day: Jebusites "those trodden down".

None of us who reside here today built any of it. As the most current inhabitants of the earth, we are sustained by cities, sciences, and forms of civilization we inherited from our predecessors. Even still this is not good enough, hence the call to action to trample in the Seventh Day.

7 The Lord did not set his affection on you and choose you because you were more numerous than other peoples, for you were the fewest of all peoples. 8 But it was because the Lord loved you and kept the oath he swore to your ancestors that he brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the land of slavery, from the power of Pharaoh king of Egypt. 9 Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments. 10 But those who hate him he will repay to their face by destruction;  he will not be slow to repay to their face those who hate him.

11 Therefore, take care to follow the commands, decrees and laws I give you today.

Thus ends Parsha Va'etchannan, "the Plea" numbered 45 of 54 contained in the Holy Torah.

[lonelier-version-of-you]

I’m about to watch S15E30 “Only Human”, this is the liveblog post, people probably get the idea by now. 😆

Edit 1: Lol, Malick complaining about a lift test and Nathan saying “you take the stairs every day”, to which Malick replies “it’s the principle of the thing!”. I suppose he’s got a point!

Edit 2: Jac always looks great when she’s wearing black. It’s a colour that really suits her.

Edit 3: Oof, Jac misreading Mo and thinking she (Mo) knows that she (Jac) has slept with Jonny again... leading to her letting it slip to Mo that she’s slept with Jonny again. Yeah, that’s a bit awkward.

Edit 4: Dom really has always been Dom.

Edit 5: Oh, this is the one where Malick treats the serial killer, isn’t it? In later Holby no one would’ve cared, it’s not like they didn’t see the same thing from their own colleagues. 😩

Edit 6: Ric pointing out that Sacha shouldn’t be involved in treating Rachel because she’s his daughter. Again, remember when Holby cared about this? *cough* Ange operating on Dom *cough*

Edit 7: Sacha’s shirt in this episode is yet another one for the list of great Sacha shirts.

Edit 8: This episode is already being really unsubtle about Chantelle’s autism.

Edit 9: Henrik talking to Malick about Malick treating a serial killer is hilarious. Given... well... who the love of Henrik’s life is.

Edit 10: I do kind of hope that this patient “faking” her disability turns out to actually have something wrong with her that hadn’t been picked up on. I’d much prefer that as a storyline. I guess I’ll have to see how the story plays out though.

Edit 11: Hang on, so about Malick’s patient, the DCI said: “She may not have murdered anyone herself, but we know she helped him [her boyfriend] cover it up.” Ahahahaha that makes Henrik talking to Malick about her even funnier - like, sound like anyone we know?!

Also, Malick’s comment about having seen a lot of “women who will do anything to protect their boyfriends”. Oh, Malick, it’s not just women, as your boss will prove in five series’ time.

Edit 12: Oh my goodness, the patient’s serial killer boyfriend committed suicide. Again, sound like anyone we know?!?!

Also, Malick, my beloved.

Edit 13: Oh, Sacha :( Bob Barrett is so good.

Edit 14: The actress playing Amanda, Malick’s patient, is fantastic.

Edit 15: Rachel :((

Edit 16: “Ego is the distance between one’s capabilities and one’s ambitions. There’s no room for it here.” That’s all very well and good, Henrik, but utterly hypocritical - Mr. Clarke the psychiatrist didn’t call you a narcissist for nothing (I know that didn’t happen until several series later). Come on Henrik, up until, like, the beginning of this series you were making your entire identity revolve around how great you thought you were (or wanted to think you were, rather).

Edit 17: Michael sticking up for Malick!

Edit 18: Sacha is breaking my heart. :(

Edit 19: Jimmy Akingbola is excellent, as always.

I can’t help imagining if this patient storyline had happened later, after Gaskell, and Henrik had been the doctor involved instead. It’s interesting to think about how he would’ve reacted. I can imagine him having a yelling “you said nothing, don’t the families deserve answers” breakdown like Malick did, but obviously it would be coming from a place of projection as much as one of moral anger.

Edit 20: The foreshadowing for Jac being pregnant is quite heavy-handed. She’s literally just said she’d never want offspring with Jonny.

Edit 21: These Sacha scenes really are heartbreaking.

Edit 22: Amanda: “You know, it’s not easy to love someone like me, but Thomas did. Even though I didn’t deserve it.” She is a perfect parallel to Henrik.

Edit 23: That Sacha and Rachel scene. :(

Edit 24: So the Darwin patient was just a generic “faking disability” narrative then, it seems. :/

Edit 25: And there we go, Jac’s pregnant.

Edit 26: I was not expecting Malick getting slapped!

[kaleidoscopic-quiddity]

I misread your post, actually, I'm stupid, pretend I don't exist-

Growing up neurodivergent is inherently traumatic in our current society, as it's not made for us. Its not necessarily the neurodivergence that causes a personality disorder, but the trauma from constantly facing ableism and ridicule from neurotypical people. Correlation ≠ Causation

hgfdghg no you're right tho!! i was using 'neurodivergent' in the broadest sense possible to include personality disorders, mental illnesses, developmental disabilities, etc. but if we're talking about neurodivergence in the sense of autism/adhd/related disorders then i totally agree that whilst being neurodivergent defininetly doesnt equal having a personality disorder, the trauma from growing up in a world not accomodated to your neurodivergence could definitely cause one to develop.

the point i was specifically making is that there's this common narrative online, even within PD spaces, that everyone who has a personality disorder suffered some kind of childhood trauma and to put it lightly, that really rustles my fuckin jimmies. it's widely understood by current medical science that most forms of neurodivergence, including personality disorders, are genetic/hereditary to a degree, and whilst not a lot of reasearch has been done on people w/ personality disorders bc society fucking hates us, some estimates suggest that between 10%-20% of people with BPD (to give one example) did not experience any kind of childhood trauma.

this isnt me saying that childhood trauma CANT be a direct cause of a personality disorder, it most certainly can, i'm just fed up with it being treated as if it's the ONLY cause.

along with childhood trauma and genetic predisposition/inheritance, other proposed causes of personality disorders include neurological differences, inadequate socialization in childhood (which can be related to but is not inherently due to abuse/neglect), being raised by or around someone with a PD (again, not inherently abusive/neglectful/traumatic), or even miscategorization of sets of behaviours that we call personality disorders that may potentially actually be developmental disorders/disabilities. 

TL;DR the 'all people with personality disorders are victims' narrative is barely any better than the 'all people with personality disorders are abusers' narrative, we are not a monolith

[miss-ingno]

Got tagged by @elenothar and @buriedbybooks! Thank you both :D sorry it took me so long! Rules: List the LAST lines of the last ten (10) stories you published.  Look to see any patterns you notice yourself, and see if anyone else  notices any. Then tag some friends.

1) Special Occasion (Weilan, M for smut, fluff)

Shen Wei bit back the fond smile threatening to spill out and went about properly distracting Zhao Yunlan from his thoughts. 

2) Can’t Just Wait With Lives At Stake (pre-Weilan, T, Shen Xi lives canon divergence)

After all, it would be a shame to be unable to draw his attention to Zhao Yunlan's mouth. 

3) Taken A Turn (Li Qian & Zhu Hong, G, vampire AU)

The moment those eyes turned away from him, he fled the windowless room, into the dark of the night.

4) No Man Left Behind (bg Weilan, Zhao Yunlan & Ye Zun, T, YOHE canon divergence)

Surely Ye-zun will be up for any prank to be pulled on his brother, truly the only blessing to come from his trip to the past.

5) this is how the war is won (Kunwei, E for smut, a/b/o YOHE au, alpha!Kunlun, omega!Shen Wei, Plot with Porn, WIP)

With a small smile gracing his lips, Shen Wei nodded off.

6) Larger Than Life (Da Qing & Fu You, G)

It was always good to remind his human why he should feed Da Qing more dried fish.

7) Shen Wei, Accidental Lesbian Whisperer (Shen Wei & Cheng Xinyan, Shen Wei & Zhang Ruonan, Shen Wei & Li Qian, T for themes, canon compliant)

She couldn't disappoint him now.

8) Turn Up The Heat (Weilan, Lanzun, pre-Weilanzun, E for smut, modern a/b/o, omega!Ye Zun, alpha!Shen Wei, beta!Zhao Yunlan)

"Together," he echoed, and Zhao Yunlan fell into a dreamless sleep with a smile on his face.

9) In The Middle Of The Night (pre-Weilan, Shen Wei & Li Qian, M for violence, vampire AU, casefic)

From the roof, red eyes watched unblinkingly as the car drove off.

10) Dark Stars, Burning Hearts (Weilan, T, time travel fix-it, ep 20 onward)

And the whole future is ahead of them, problems and promises and all.

Tagging in @itskaysno @ganglylimbs @sorcererinslytherin @shadeofazmeinya @sailorbryant @kahnah23 @sasamelons @fornhaus @crystalinn if you’d like to!

Things I noticed about my endings:

I have a tendency to end with one character thinking about another

red eyes are apparently a Must if it’s vampire au xD

people falling asleep with a smile on their face

generally, I’d say I end on an optimistic note, unless it’s vampire au, in which case the ending is all about building the background plot tension and emphasizing the ~mystique lol

but yeah, definitely a strong tendency towards ending on a relationship note, one way or another. and an outlook towards the future, hinting at what is to come next (and that it’s gonna be Happy; unless, again, vampire au, where it makes sense to ramp up the dun dun DUN vibe)

also you can’t tell WIPs apart from actual endings, which makes sense too -- Lesbian Whisperer is one-shots packaged into one collection by theme, so each story is self-contained. And my goal for tihtwiw was to end on a happy enough note that readers won’t mind the time it takes me to update again (although I didn’t foresee the last chapter fighting me for so long, I knew it was gonna be a hard nut to crack and I was too busy irl to write while posting the first four)

[gottagobuycheese]

I mean it’s great that I can store all these random river facts but like. How do I draw a rock.

[thecreaturecodex]

Xtabay

“Corrupted dryad” © Linda Lithen, accessed at her ArtStation here

[Earlier in this project, I said that the most egregious gap between actual folklore and Pathfinder’s folklore monsters was the delgeth/teelgeet. That was because I forgot about the xtabay. Pathfinder’s version are small flowers that smell sweet and put victims to sleep before eating them. The real version is a Maya succubus figure, one of many seduce and destroy monsters in Latin American folklore. Flowers are involved in the story, but the sweet smell is a direct misreading of the original.]

Xtabay CR 8 CE Undead This skeletal figure appears to be made of bones, vines and branches woven into a humanoid shape. Colorful but stinking flowers grow along its body.

A xtabay is an undead creature formed from the souls of hypocrites, people who were morally reprehensible but who maintained an outward appearance of virtue in order to impress or exploit others. Many of these even manage to deceive themselves, convinced of their righteousness until it came time to account for their deeds before the judges of the dead. Rather than accept damnation, these souls escape back into the Material Plane, animating their bones in combination with the vegetation growing on their graves.

Xtabay are hideous in sight and smell, the flowers growing along their bodies emitting a carrion stink. They can conceal their appearance with illusions, usually appearing as a beautiful woman and disguising their stench with phantasmal perfumes. In this guise, they lure travelers to their death. A xtabay may toy with a victim for some time, as their gaze addles the mind and charms its victims. Most victims do not even realize they are in danger until the xtabay drops its beautiful façade and grasps them in its thorny embrace.

Although most xtabay take the form of lovely women as a habit, they can disguise themselves as any creature. Sexual temptation is a favorite ruse, but they also can appear as a valuable horse, exotic animal or missing child. They have the ability to control plant life, creating spikes and vines that entangle victims while moving through these obstacles with supernatural ease. Most xtabay value their existence, as they do not want to suffer the consequence of their cruelty in life. Thus, they usually flee when outmatched or badly damaged.

Xtabay  CR 8 XP 4,800 CE Medium undead Init +8; Senses darkvision 60 ft., Perception +14 Aura stench (10 ft., Fort DC 19) Defense AC 23, touch 15, flat-footed 17 (+4 Dex, +1 dodge, +7 natural) hp 90 (12d8+36) Fort +7, Ref +8, Will +11; channel resistance +2 DR 10/bludgeoning and magic Defensive Abilities freedom of movement, thorny body Offense Speed 30 ft. Melee 2 claws +13 (1d6+3 plus grab) Special Attacks charming gaze, sneak attack +2d6, thorny embrace Spell-like Abilities CL 12th, concentration +15 Constant—freedom of movement At will—veil (self only, DC 19) 3/day—speak with plants, thorny entanglement (DC 16) 1/day—command plants (DC 17), spike growth (DC 16), wall of thorns Statistics Str 16, Dex 19, Con -, Int 13, Wis 12, Cha 17 Base Atk +9; CMB +12 (+16 grapple); CMD 30 Feats Defensive Combat Training, Dodge, Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Power Attack, Weapon Focus (claw) Skills Bluff +13, Disguise +16, Knowledge (nature) +11, Perception +14, Stealth +17, Survival +11 Languages Common, Sylvan Ecology Environment any forests Organization solitary Treasure standard Special Abilities Charming Gaze (Su) Range—30 ft.; effect charmed (as charm person); duration 1 hour; save Will DC 19. The save DC is Charisma based. This only effects humanoids. Thorny Body (Ex) A creature that strikes a xtabay with a melee weapon, natural weapon, unarmed strike or touch attack must succeed a DC 20 Reflex save or take 1d6+3 points of piercing damage. The save DC is Dexterity based. Thorny Embrace (Ex) A creature grappled by a xtabay takes damage from its thorny body each round (no save).

[magicrowiswritingstuff]

Prompt List 1

Random Dialogue Prompts (mostly from my Book of 5.000 Prompts or ones I wasn’t sure where to sort into)

Pronouns can be changed to I/You/He/She/… just send the right one with your request as well as the category you want it to be written in! Also, I'll add more over time.

1. “No, it’s really not that complicated. He’s a bad person.”

2. “Hey... what’s wrong with your face?”

3. “Dude. It’s three in the morning.”

4. “Um, sorry. That one’s not for sale.”

5. “You’ve got thirty seconds to explain to me what you’re doing here.”

6. "I know this may be hard to believe, but I’m on your side.”

7. “Never heard of that being used as a weapon before.”

8. “Just sit around and cry, then. I don’t have that luxury.”

9. “I’m sorry. I thought you were someone else.”

10. “Of course, we’re (best) friends. No one else would put up with our shenanigans.”

11. “That’s the least of your worries.”

12. “Do you trust me?” / “Yes/No.” (please choose one)

13. “I haven’t tried this on a human yet, but it should work.”

14. “What? I meant it as a compliment.”

15. “Who put this in my coat pocket?”

16. “I can’t do this anymore.”

17. “I know you did your best, but it wasn’t enough.”

18. “Even if I could stop it, I wouldn’t.”

19. “You have got to see this.”

20. “I don’t really think of myself as a thief...”

21. “Are you just going to keep walking by my house or are you going to come in?”

22. “Where are your clothes?”

23. “Well, this contest isn’t going to rig itself.”

24. “I can’t believe I’m telling you this.”

25. “I should have told you this a long time ago.”

26. “I thought we were friends!”

27. “That’s not a good look.”

28. “I love you, but I don’t even think I know who you really are.”

29. “She’s evil, but she does have a point there.”

30. “I didn’t know you could talk.”

31. “Sweetie, what were you thinking?!”

32. “What makes you think it was an accident?”

33. “Sorry. You’re the first person I’ve spoken to in a long time.”

34. “According to this, you owe them eighty thousand dollars.”

35. “I would break his thumbs right now if I could.”

36. “Why are you helping me?”

37. “I told you not to read that.”

38. “Where did you learn how to do that?”

39. “How could you do this to me?”

40. “I thought you had him!”

41. “Humility is not one of my many virtues.”

42. “You don’t have the correct paperwork.”

43. “Careful not to break the – oh.”

44. “I wasn’t going to say anything, but yeah.”

45. “Well, aren’t you the cutest little thing?”

46. “Please don’t use sarcasm. It confuses me.”

47. “After we lost you, things just weren’t the same.”

48. “If you were logical you would’ve killed me already.”

49. “Well, that could have gone better.”

50. “Sometimes I feel like she’s still at my side.”

51. “We’ve been waiting for two hours!”

52. “Your services are no longer required.”

53. “I feel like we’ve met before...”

54. “Yes, it’s a questionable line of work, but I’m good at it.”

55. “Wow! It’s an honor to meet you!”

56. “Let’s face it: you don’t blend in.”

57. “Forgive me if I’m misreading things, but do you want to make out?”

58. “The next time you shoot a guy, don’t do it in front of witnesses!”

59. "Maybe you don’t believe in me, but I definitely believe in you.”

60. “Just get out there and smile and act like everything’s fine.”

61. “Keep your head down!”

62. “I still miss being with you.”

63. “Well, change it back!”

64. “I’m not mad at you for lying. I’m mad at you for being so bad at it.”

65. “Ugh, I still have glitter all over me.”

66. “I know it’s going to hurt to leave -like cutting off your own leg to get out of a trap- but you have to do it.”

67. “I’ve been patient for five minutes!”

68. “I’m not the best, but I’ve got the best timing.”

69. “That’s a discussion for another time.”

70. “Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?”

71. “You know who always wants more money? Rich people.”

72. “You’re the one who left. Not me.”

73. “Of course, I’m scared. I’m not an idiot.”

74. “Did you make that yourself?”

75. “You were in there so long I got worried.”

76. “No, this isn’t the point of no return. That was a few points back.”

77. “It seemed like a good idea at that time.”

78. “I felt so dirty that I just wanted to die.”

79. “That’s going to cost you extra.”

80. “Hang on, this is going to hurt. A lot.”

81. “I don’t know why I waited so long to do this.”

82. “Whatever you do, don’t open your eyes.”

83. “If you don’t tell her, I will.”

84. “Quit whining. The woman won.”

85. “What do you want?”

86. “What do you want?”

87. “Who are you talking to?”

88. “I am the humblest person you are ever likely to meet.”

89. “I’ve kept this baby alive for a full year now and I’m very proud of that.”

90. “This is why I don’t have a lot of friends.”

91. “I should have warned him, but I wanted to see how it would play out.”

92. “I’ve figured out my life’s true purpose.”

93. “My back’s killing me.”

94. “I never, ever want to hear you say that again.”

95. “Could you please not use that tone of voice?”

96. “Don’t tell me to calm down!”

97. “... I wasn’t paying attention.”

98. “You’ve caught me at a really bad time.”

99. “... I’ll take that as a compliment.”

100. “Didn’t your parents ever tell you not to talk to strangers?”

[bluewhale52]

The History of Us - Ch. 16

Synopsis: You have built your career and you have 2 rising hip hop superstars as your besties. Life is pretty good, until one drunken night that derails your life plan. How would you survive?

Pairing: ?? x OC , main characters are mostly Namjoon, Yoongi and Tae, but all 7 are present now

Fic type: social media au + text 

Genre: Strangers to Lovers!AU, fluff, angst.

Rated: R

Warning: swearing, talk about sex and unplanned pregnancy

Disclaimer: photos are not mine, and of course characterization and scenarios of the boys are purely of my imagination

Masterlist  |  Next>>

Ch. 16 - 3some

—

10 March, 20:15

You and Taehyung sit nervously across from Seokjin. He still has not said anything since you broke the news that you are in fact, carrying Kim Seokjin’s baby, and not Kim Taehyung’s. There are probably a million questions that will need to be answered, but Seokjin has not shown any indication that he has processed the jawdropping news. 

“Maybe you should wait in the bedroom,” you whisper to Taehyung. At the raise of his eyebrows, you pat his cheek lovingly. “It’s OK, Tae. It might be easier for him to talk to me alone.”

Your heart aches with the way Taehyung looks at you. A flash of jealousy, possessiveness then understanding, one quickly replaces another. He kisses the top of your head and gently rubs your belly, before excusing himself and heading to your bedroom.  Watching him leave, you immediately blush at the memories of what you did last night and this morning.

You and Taehyung had not talked in a month, since you  told him about the identity of your baby’s father. All the frustration and anger finally boiled over last night at Yoongi’s birthday dinner. Annoyed at Taehyung’s cold demeanour towards you, you openly started flirting with Seokjin all night, which resulted in you and Taehyung shouting at each other across the table. 

When a particular barb Taehyung threw at you finally broke the dam of tears you had been holding back, Namjoon dragged you out of the restaurant and held you as your cried into his chest. Minutes later, however, Taehyung came out to pull you from Namjoon’s arm, flagged a taxi down, and you both ended up going back to your place together. 

The taxi ride was quiet, but once you both entered  your apartment, you were anything but. Lips smacking, skin slapping, pants and moans filled your living room then your bedroom. And it was at your fourth orgasm of the night, when you screamed his name over and over again, that he claimed you as his, and you gladly accepted it.

This morning was no different, instead of talking, the two of you were going at it again, and you both apologised, cried and promised to be honest and to communicate better, all said between orgasms. Spent, a decision was then made that Kim Seokjin needed to know- that the baby growing in your belly is his. Which led you to inviting him to your place for dinner, to break the news.

You turn to the man in front of you, wondering how long more you need to wait before Seokjin is able to say anything at all.

“Seokjin,” you reach out and rub his knee, “are you OK?”

He blinks at your touch, and clears his throat. “Uh, let me just get the facts straight.” 

You nod, silently encouraging him to talk. In the short amount of time you have known him, you realise he has a habit of talking his thoughts out loud.

“So, we met that night, at the Halloween party, then we came here, and you know, and somehow our protection was faulty..” his hands are flapping and you nod at him, “and you’re pregnant.”

“Yes, that’s correct.”

“And i was the one night stand guy whose identity you didn’t know, until the whole partnership thing with Namjoon and Yoongi.” You nod again.

“But you told me last week that Taehyung was the father.”

You shrug your shoulders a little. “Well you caught me off guard, I panicked and just said the first name that came to mind.”

This time it is Seokjin who nods. then he chuckles, “You know I thought you were going to offer me a proposition, like for a threesome.”

You choke on your own saliva at his blunt confession. “Excuse me?”

Seokjin laughs loudly, his shoulders shaking. “Turns out I’m going to be a father.”

You stare at him wondering how his mind could go from ten to 200kph in an instant. “Yeah well, no threesome. I think we have enough spice in our lives as it is now.”

You wait till Seokjin stops laughing, and when he buries his face in his hands, you start to worry. He must be going through a hell of a rollercoaster of emotions right now.

“So... what now?” he finally looks up at you and asks.

“I don’t know, really,” you helplessly answer, “Tae and I agreed to tell you because all eight of us will be working closely. And not only that, you’re becoming friends with Joon and Yoongi too. And then Hoseok and Tae seem to be forming this bond over fashion, I just didn’t want to ruin any of these relationships you guys are building.”

You take a deep breath. “I didn’t want to tell you, but Tae insisted that you need to know,” you confess reluctantly.

“I see.”

Seokjin and you  awkwardly stare at each other. Something seems to hold him back from saying anything, so you continue talking.

“I don’t want your money. I swear, this is not why I told you about the baby. Before Tae was even in the picture, I was ready to have this baby and raise them on my own. My relationship with Tae just happened, and I’m grateful for it.  And he was planning to move in here so he can help, you know he loves children, and I know he’d be an amazing fath- I mean, he’s amazing with kids...”

You stop talking when you see Seokjin tilts his head at your almost referring Tae as the baby’s father. 

“So it’s like a parenting threesome.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “What?”

“You know, two dads, one mom. Is that what’s going on here?”

You sputter, lost for an answer, and Seokjin feels agitated by your lack of response.

“Are you expecting me not to be involved? Do you want me not to be involved?” he asks, voice firmer now.

Your heart is beating faster. “I’m not... it’s up to you Seokjin, I-”

“Jin.” he says firmly, interrupting you. “You’re carrying my baby so call me Jin.”

You swallow, getting nervous now. “Jin,” you repeat his name, “it’s up to you. It’s your choice how much you want to be involved. I’m not expecting anything from y-”

Jin abruptly stands up, startling you. “Well I’m telling you now I’m not expecting to be a third wheel in this, it’s my child!”

He runs his fingers through his head in annoyance. “You can’t just tell me and expect me not to be involved.”

“That’s not what I’m saying,” you speak gently, trying to ease down the tension. “I’m just saying it’s entirely up to you. If you want to be involved, that’s great. If you don’t, that’s fine too. I don’t want you to feel obligated.”

“Because you have that knight in shining armour, right?” he gestures towards your bedroom. You groan inwardly, praying Taehyung is not eavesdropping. You stand up and grab Jin’s arms and direct him back to his seat.

“What do you want then, Jin?” you ask, forcing your voice to stay calm.

“I want to be involved, and I want the baby to call me dad. The baby can call Taehyung whatever you guys want, but the baby will call me dad.”

“OK, that’s absolutely fine.”

“And I will pay for the baby.” He shushes you as you shake your head. “50% of the baby is me, so whatever medical costs of this pregnancy, and when you give birth, and whatever the baby needs later in life, I’m also responsible for it.”

“OK, if that’s what you want.” 

“If you don’t mind, I will start a fund for the baby. For financial security. My parents did it for me, and I want to do it for my child too.” Jin continues, “there’ll be paperwork involved, to ensure the money goes to the child and the child alone.”

You nod, it makes sense. He has money and he wants to ensure his child’s well being. As an expectant mother you feel somewhat relieved, and as a CPA, you know it’s the right arrangement if one can afford it. “OK, that’s a good plan and I’m really grateful for it. But Jin, do you want people to know you’re the father?”

Jin stares at you blankly. You have thought about this question long and hard. You are fine admitting your child is fatherless, or when an answer is needed and you can’t circle around it, you know Taehyung is ready to step in. Your inner circle knows who the real father is, and that’s all that matters.

But if Jin wants to be openly involved with the child, it would be his reputation on the line. He is too much of a public figure now- the whole situation will definitely be seen as a scandal, tainting his name and very likely will cost you your job too.

Jin seems to understand the dilemma. “If your firm finds out...”

“... I’ll probably lose my job.” You finish his train of thought.

“So we’ll be discreet. We’ll just tell those who need to know. Wait, does everyone in Bulletproof know I’m the father?”

“Just the guys, and you know we can trust them completely.” You assure him, and yourself.

Jin nods. “So your job should be safe then. As long as no one from outside finds out. Though you know, most first borns tend to look exactly like their fathers. One day people will put two and two together.”

“Well then,” you chuckle, “let’s hope our child is going to be a boring accountant like me, and not famous like you.”

At that Jin smiles at you, a real genuine smile, and you feel hopeful that this strange arrangement- this parenting threesome as Jin puts it- may just work out. 

Jin and you both whip your head at the sound of Taehyung clearing his throat. You freeze, wondering when Taehyung came out of your bedroom, and how much has he heard? Then you realise you are sitting very close to Jin, and you start to worry if Taehyung misreads it. The fight you had is still fresh in your mind and heart.

“Sorry to disturb you, and to burst your happiness bubble,” Taehyung walks closer to you and Jin, “but you need to see this.”

Taehyung holds out his phone, and Jin and you quickly read what is on the screen. Jin groans, and you grab the phone from Taehyung’s hand, reading the screen over and over again. Taehyung bites his lower lip nervously.

And then you let out a blood curling scream.

“WHAT THE FUCK?”

[ashtheauthor]

this morning, i mopped spoiled milk from my kitchen floor with dirty towels that haven’t been washed in weeks.

the fridge holds schrodinger’s meals from a month ago, maybe two. if the door never opens, i can imagine they sit there, all in a pretty line. if the fridge never opens, i can imagine the strawberries i bought in june still a vibrant red, still sweet and filled with juice that might run down my chin if i bite into it. if the fridge never opens, i never see the strawberries consumed by mold, eaten away into nothing but shriveled brown flesh.

there are a limited number of days that willful ignorance works, it turns out. wounds will fester like the milk that went bad in may, will bubble up with toxic gas, will burst through the confines of the plastic jug, will coat everything inside in its putridness until it leeches out onto the floor. everything it can touch will soak it up and be ruined. the smell will linger no matter how much bleach scented with fake lemon is thrown on top.

i was meant to be in the car by 8:15, but i forgot the medicine that makes me human yesterday morning, last night, and this morning, too. but forgetfulness is just the lie that’s easiest to swallow. i knew. i saw the bottles. i portioned each medication into my daily dose, and i placed it in a plastic sandwich bag so I could shamefully take those 7 pills alone at work after i’ve forced something — anything — into my stomach to cushion the blow.

i didn’t forget the medicine. i couldn’t take it without food. i didn’t forget to eat. the monster in the mirror with her dark circles, blemished skin, and rolls of fat said i wasn’t allowed.

i was allowed, of course, but the monster’s ravenous twin ruined the morning’s meal for me, gorging instead last night on two chocolate bars and a bag of potato chips, the only chips made in west virginia. every bite was taken to fill the void left by not being good enough, for being unable to hold back tears when my boss copied me on an email searching for my replacement.

i looked back at old photos yesterday and cried. i see myself at 13, and i think: this beautiful girl thinks she’s a monster, thinks she deserves what she’s suffered, thinks she won’t live past twenty-three. i ache for her. i hold myself back from clawing at the tapestry the fates have already weaved, from screaming at my phone screen in the dark that this girl is good enough. i see myself at 18, a girl who doesn’t know who she is without her mother telling her. a girl who is moving 5 hours away from home and can breathe for the first time when zero familiar faces pass her on campus. she can be anyone she wants, but still, i sit here and scream. “you’re killing yourself,” i want to say, “you’re killing yourself, and you need to stop because your mom — your best friend — is going to die soon and you can’t go, too.” i see myself at 19, 20, 21, 22. i see a body and mind ravaged. i see a girl going through the motions and trying to survive herself. her mind attacks her, as does her body, and everything she does to fight only hurts her more.

i see myself at 23, sobbing over a homemade cobbler alone. i see relief to make it to the age she never could see herself making it to. i see fear at not knowing what lies beyond the time that was meant to be the end.

i see myself now. “tremendously smart . . . wonderful to work with.” reaching desperately toward the future, fingers outstretched and ready to wrap around whatever opportunity might allow her that close. i see a capable woman. a strong woman. a resilient woman.

but then i see me. the same woman kneeling on an unswept linoleum floor, mopping up milk that exploded because i couldn’t bring myself to take out what has gone bad and throw it away. i take the milk-soiled towels to the washing machine, but i have to step over 4 separate piles of laundry to get there. i want to rid my hands of the smell, but i cannot use the sink. there is another towel and all my makeup in there, so i use the tub instead.

i want to sleep, to drift off in the company of my emotional support cat who misread his assignment and my dog who turned 11 today, who’s been there for me for 10 years, 3 months, and 10 days. but the sheets are in the floor and i’ve been sleeping on my couch for 2 months.

i don’t know when i talked out loud to a friend last. i don’t know when i’ve seen a friend. do i even have them left? did they wait for me while i tried my best to keep my mind together?

i am fine, but i am not okay.

i am lost, but i can’t afford to take the road back to retrace my steps.

this morning, i mopped spoiled milk from my kitchen floor.

[seulgiswhoreee]

request list

SMUT

pick a number and put it in your request along with a random pairing (like incubus!____ x virgin!reader) and a brief plot :)

KINKS 1. pussy slapping 2. breeding kink 3. acarophilia (arousal from scratching) 4. anal 5. barebacking (unprotected sex) 6. begging 7. breathplay 8. bondage 9. breast/nipple torture 10. breast/nipple worship 11. praise kink 12. degradation kink 13. daddy kink 14. cock worship 15. collaring 16. cunnilingus (oral sex basically) 17. dacryphilia (arousal from crying) 18. dirty talk 19. double penetration (one anal, one vaginal) 20. double vaginal penetration (2 dicks or toys penetrating the vagina) 21. face fucking 22. face slapping 23. gerontophilia (being attracted to way older people) 24. alcohol or drug consumption before, after, or during sex 25. intercrural sex (basically fucking in between the thighs) 26. JOI (giving your partner masturbation instructions) 27. katopronophilia (sex in front of a mirror) 28. size kink 29. bulge kink 30. orgasm denial 31. temperature play (ice cubes or hot wax) 32. quirofilia (aroused by long ass fingers and/or big hands) 33. sensory deprivation 34. somnophilia 35. phone sex

ANTI-SMUT (like angst, comedy, fluff)

Pick a number, make a random pairing (i.e husband!____ x reader) and give me a brief plot to request! :)

PROMPTS

"Ma'am, is this your dog?"

“No, it’s really not that complicated. He’s a bad person.”

“Hey… what’s wrong with your face?”

“Ah yes, come in. Close the door behind you.”

“How could you do this to me?”

“Um, sorry. That one’s not for sale.”

“You’ve got thirty seconds to explain to me what you’re doing here.”

“Ain’t nobody ever told you who your real daddy is?”

“I know this may be hard to believe, but I’m on your side.”

“Never heard of that being used as a murder weapon before.”

“Just sit around and cry, then. I don’t have that luxury.”

“I’m sorry. I thought you were someone else.”

“That’s the nice thing about telling the truth. You don’t have nearly as much to keep track of.”

“Of course we’re best friends. No one else would put up with our shenanigans.”

“That’s the least of your worries.”

“You look a lot different from your profile picture.”

“Do you trust me?”

“You found it on the beach? You know, when most people take a walk on the beach, they pick up seashells.”

“Sir. This is for children only.”

“I haven’t tried this on a human yet, but it should be very similar.”

“What? I meant it as a compliment.”

“Who put this in my coat pocket?”

“I can’t do this anymore.”

“You think you’re so good-looking, but deep down, you’re the kind of ugly that PhotoShop can’t fix.”

“I know you did your best, but it just wasn’t enough.”

“Even if I could stop it, I wouldn’t.”

“You have got to see this.”

“Guess who made the evening news?”

“I don’t really think of myself as a thief…”

“Are you just going to keep walking by my house or are you going to come in?”

“We do things a little differently in the 21st century.”

“Please return to your assigned seat.”

“Dude. It’s 3 in the morning.”

“I can’t believe I used to think he was attractive.”

“Actually, you are speaking to the manager.”

“Where are your clothes?”

“Well, this contest isn’t going to rig itself.”

“Hi, I’m calling about your ad?”

“I can’t believe I’m telling you this.”

“I should have told you this a long time ago.”

“I am only telling the truth when I say that you have not behaved completely as a gentleman in this matter.”

“I thought we were friends!”

“That’s not a good look.”

“It’s a genetic trait, but it’s exceptionally rare.”

“I love you, but I don’t even think I know who you really are.”

“She’s evil, but she does have a point there.”

“I didn’t know you could talk.”

“Sweetie, what were you thinking?”

“What makes you think it was an accident?”

“Sorry. You’re the first person I’ve spoken to in ten years.”

“I don’t suppose you’ve got a blowtorch around here?”

“I know you’re here. You may as well show yourself.”

“Get a job!”

“This isn’t going to be a typical best man speech.”

“According to this, you owe them eighty thousand dollars.”

“We thought at first that it was part of the performance.”

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen y’all in church.”

“I would break his thumbs right now if I could.”

“Why are you helping me?”

“That’s the worst reason I’ve ever heard to have a baby.”

“I didn’t even recognize you!”

“Is it worth breaking your vows over?”

“I told you not to read that.”

“Put the turkey down.”

“I didn’t ask to be abducted.”

“That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Where did you learn how to do that?”

“Are you banned from all Taco Bells or just that Taco Bell?”

“I thought you had him!”

“Humility is not one of my many virtues.”

“How can you stand living here?”

“She’s young, fertile, and from a good family. What more do you need to know?”

“Sometimes being a total geek pays off.”

“You don’t have the correct paperwork.”

“Careful not to break the—oh.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything, but yeah.”

“I’d love to help, but I want to keep all of my money in case I want to spend it on other things.”

“Well aren’t you the cutest little thing?”

“Why is that your password?”

“Please don’t use sarcasm. It confuses me.”

“After we lost you, things just weren’t the same.”

“If you were logical you would’ve killed me already.”

“Well, that could’ve gone better.”

“Sometimes I feel like she’s still at my side.”

“We’ve been waiting two hours.”

“Your services are no longer required.”

“I feel like we’ve met before…”

“Does he hit you?”

“Yes, it’s a questionable line of work, but I’m good at it.”

“This used to be a great country, but people like you are destroying it.”

“I’m cured. I swear.”

“My chances of living to a ripe old age are unfortunately excellent.”

“Let’s face it, you don’t exactly blend in.”

“Forgive me if I’m misreading things, but do you want to make out?”

“The next time you shoot a guy, don’t do it on national television.”

[rwmhunt]

Leviticus, chapter 27

1. Smoke.

2. Indeed, at the time, to the roles ascribed, as unto a gender,

Be it so aligned, that you wouldn't find to express by yourself

Such ways as others divined, as otherwise, you might have thought to.

For it is that they wouldn’t look the way you would mean to appear,

Nor would they be pursuant of the actions that you wouldst be undoing of;

But, tis normal to be inspired- so

Then experience revelations, and the found skills that're of being alive;

To acknowledge them and allow for their alterance as unto others irrevocably.

See, Erotion can never go back.

Her auxiliary capacious desire is here ignited and thrust.

It is this passion that both excited the lord,

and hath made of her the compulsive conclusion.

For where the lord hath giv'n unto her

Of a low forrid, owl features, a froward, evilfavouredness–

Yet, hath she a mallum, passive and usable; and of how many shekels?

We shall see.

But the freedom that hath brought me to her

Might moreover be wrought agin us.

Here, you really have to drill down on the mental illness,

As I, my own actress.

3. Come madame,

Come all the rest.

O

Shagahll ahnaaah-

Which translate here as

Escrow, usufruct,

Lo, my

Incarnate ignominy,

In relatively tepid water,

Whimsy, say, jsyk, that

She'd hair like a whip

And pretty good eyes,

And if it be a female,

By such metric

As flux the matrix, yet,

I know not who I am, Erotion,

So know me only by my appetites.

4. Only in death,

At the courts of love,

Doth a woman gain of herself

Judgement as unto crime's advantage.

And still, I mean,

They're shaken still, as unto this day. 

For that they have still not recovered

And I know not that ever they will.

I love you as

Can experience

Nothing through you

O wait, but didn't I just?

That gait, that fate, that lately

Fell to someone else's statement-

Leviticus? That you? I know why

You’ve got to focus on this sort of stuff, 

But I really think, I think really that that is not 

Where the numbers are;

I’m talking to today,

As women

Imagine their bodies

To be their own.

5. To every little girl watching tonight;

Of five years, even unto twenty,

That thy worth shouldst be as a fifth

of thy fathers-

Those men who hath brought you forth,

For as thy be their daughters,

Here to see what I will prove

Unable to do;

In the singular vow-

To shew verily

What you need

Is a system of value judgements,

Set out so, before the lord. In shekels.

And where social shame provideth not enough discipline,

Graft unto it from the rod of cultural capital-

Say, that because the Children are inherently bad,

And aware only of their denial, might they

Be tripped into taking an onus

That isn't rightly theirs, so do good by it,

Or else, bloody-minded,

They hyperchargeth the tendencies that demarkate

My eternal and internal boundaries, or,

Maybe, my babies,

It's time to join the can cult;

To get a new book-

If such be my contribution,

Then such is enough.

6. Non-mathmatical aesthetic identities,

According to the valuation, as clearly uttered-

Though it be of an accident, with a minced oath attachment,

And baked-in with wild conjecture, yet, me thinks, I heard-

Piled high, of thousands, a pressure mountain, ah,

But we have a different scribe here to the last, imho.

So Mose has handed over the keys, though, I don't know

The hand that handled the sword as his, really, either...

For here, calculators are wrought, and to the ready,

But we'll dispatch with them, it is not necessary;

Set that ceaseless bucket down.

7. And the bawling of missives, meant for one, there unto all-

The original context collapsing; grafted deep onto him in death,

Riding out his memory towards a destiny of Her own choosing, who,

By whatever generosity in prior tact the intended might have possessed,

As wouldst prove to be a benison, if brought unto the conflagration, it's lost;

Even, forced out beyond itself, and the function,

Encouraged to carve up the message unto its own ends,

Where the loss of context is pulled out of its context and loved.

8. The imposition of women,

A short for sacrifice of well-being,

As She, ultimately, makes sacrifice of herself for her appetites,

But, de gustibus, in grafting them unto her in death,

So She truly hath lived, there be no defeat-

And riding forth her memory towards a hell of her own choosing,

As to scrutinise the system, adequately substantiates it's requirement-

Thy confirmation, by corroboration with a backward-thinking;

Too poor to be valued, a daylight over static water,

O whimsy,

That a priest should find a way with,

What’s lower than an afterthought?

I don't remember.

9. Is death hell?  Sheol? A well

Avernus, tartarus, hades,

A shale shell,

Too deep to see the stars from?-

Doth your bird speake?

Not as a rule, but as

A narratal tool-

10. Exchanges are not to be made,

Lo. but if they, yet so; then holy be-

I heard she'd words with the chatty rat,

That as earn you side-eye from fellow travellers-

Nae, twas just a flurry of feathers,

Like pigeons who momentarily flummox eachother

Into a figment of a fox, by misreading of the other's,

Otherwise meaningless, sudden motion;

So only as you are;

Never shall thy speake.

11. And should a priest do as he be bid,

And look the gift horse lowly, well,

He hath abused his powers,

And abusers are cowards,

Feared of their just desserts,

Should they try to revert

To a precedent

That's slumpt, inert,

And just is.

12.  To drop the eyes, so take

the focus off the waiting.

One handed,

Straineth, and,

Before I lose my medical status,

Make a mimesis to

The viability-shield

Of barrier nursing.

13. And there was an evening

When she cursed,

Turned white overnight-

Not even only just her hair.

And it ran on for days,

Days as months

That aged like years;

So, acuity straid,

Don't say impaired-

We just hang on.

14. In unspoken dotage,

She ordered a home report unto

My eternal and internal boundaries,

As global eyes be a-watching you;

In real time, you can't go back.

Lo, not like that you can't-

Details fetishized, or forgot,

And writes that she loves Jhwh,

Using an exclamation point to add an extra emphasis.

- I don't think I need to do anything else.

- I don't think I do either.

Alright then.

I'm saved, as while outside,

The world is raging,

As global eyes swell watching you,

The forgotten who fell from the storm;

Here, you really have to have a drill-down on the mental ills.

15. Yet after all the work, the depth,

I do think now only of numbers;

Where are the convolutions

That a life as this requires?

Lo, but my cut please.

16. Out to the field, the trap, she went,

Lifting the flap

From the batter'd tent,

The old vhs player, the old liniments,

Tinctures, unguents, hartshorn, clinked,

One silver shekel, minted anew,

Glinting from a box of screws,

Fungus sprung from a seam in the pattern,

Tins of yam and of sacred beans,

A scientologist's half-filled-in questionnaire,

Some garden tools, a dressing gown,

The buried bones, exhumed again,

The climbing harness, the bathroom rug,

The old kitchen table, stained with blood-

A water-damaged iliad upon it, still,

As everything was- quite sodden.

17. So, by visitation,

To or from Aunt Miriam

That changes were rung

Within the domestic routine,

Being within walking distance

To the Post Office

And from what comes of the tent of meaning.

18. Lo, for she loved her processes

As a kind of glockenspiel

And when arose opportunity,

Tinked it for the rest of us

- That it ran through us all-

A thimble's klang; O Jubilee.

19. If tears are the understanding of grief,

Then differential can be deferential,

- But do not let Miriam be led

Like a baby that is born dead,

As dead things that never were,

With a body that is only half there,

To be wondered of a second childhood-

So here Mose crows, plied to a strain

Unknown in the voice, alone,

- Please Lord, make her well!

And there was no water for the congregation.

20. And went down

Through Joppa

To watch the waves rolling in,

21. And Erotion ascribed unto each,

Meaning,

22. And farther out

Were many waves

That couldn't be

determined,

As everything that

Has already been said.

23. Yet Erotion still tried,

And was always happy

With her answers,

And so was I.

24. Where tiny grains of hail

Should swell into orbiting moons,

And pull at bodies,

And make wider water move,

That might be discerned

And distanced, and rifled for meaning

As mere memorandum.

25. That you may not break the speed limit

Does not mean you may not run,

Whence, from one chair

In her kitchen,

She may not push

The boundary of human thought

Where she may yet

Press of her own;

26. And rising, she taketh a step,

The like which is more of a push from the back

Than a reaching with the front

Of such manner as Dr Molock wouldst

Consider to be good; nevertheless,

She doth so switcheth on the radio

And is met with applause.

27. Theory of relativity ran thus-

Trained to shoot missed rounds at centre-mass,

Against the retroviral doctrine of lache's mutinous strikes;

A high-stress phase, where stakes hit low-calibre bystander.

But when she read, of the self-help book,

That no sense could thus be made,

Where each of the examples

Suffered a circumstance

Different to him,

She deemed.

28. Notwithstanding no devoted thing

Being here redeemed, evangelicals,

The difference between being washed over,

And taking something up from the wash-

And coming back with it, and thence,

holding it to a burthen, is easy to see, 

Only after.

29. Ransom and be gored,

As all masacres, undertaken

To guarantee the peace;

So let the bodies pile high: 

Same customs revolved, same characters.

You can take his horn-torn shirt unto thy sister;

That she was tough as old eggs,

In returning from the engine room;

Unctioned only; as still alive;

The perpetual repair.

30. Finally Miriam,

Over the hill,

Rose out

From the face of family impasse,

Repurposed the old

To adapt to the current;

Rode forth

To the corner,

In  'de Gustibus,-

The Solid Scran Van',

She says she means of herself

A safety net, to be

The wheel in the street,

31. And looketh up to see

God's face in the moon

Or whatever it was

That can't be drawn

And I won't be drawn.

32. As round the tent entrance

of a palace of cloud, plastered in doubloons,

And cannot be kept from my imagination,

And what I perseve is right lively to the world-

Das ding und sich and such and but;

For I'll be the judge of that, and to my bias-

Whatsoever cloys under the great varnisher,

Who layers the crack in the camel's back,

That yet, we all must press low under,

In sweetness and/or in revulsion,

Where we too are fallible, still

The lord must only be cute.

Lo, but i hold no decree

And yet am repulsed

By vitric surfactants.

33. A relationship, broken in three places,

Months after a tremendously successful campaign cycle,

Where I, a simple volunteer, am accused

Of such stuff as I do not do, while the A.B.C.

Confirmeth or annuls the meaning,

With one Boeing E-6B Mercury flying off the East Coast;

With another high over Oregon- lo, practically,

Laws are abstract,

And will not bend

To their being wrong,

When unto him a dybbuk,

And; the series is severed,

The characters gone.

Don't look.

Gives you memories.

34. So be.

- For, it's that we're made

Of an edible stuff, mulled the steer.

-Nae, for I ate my piglets and now

I'm glad of it, said the sow;

Lo.

-All's well.