#I mean it still is but I can't leave these masterpieces in the dark

[heartfullofleeches]

Purple one from that Murder clown gang!

Sketch and i colored it in with cheap color pencils

Clown spotted 🤡👁️ The star dangling off the end of their chain is a fun addition - and totally something they'd have. Pink has to be taking care of their hair for them because there's no way this loser would bother to put in the time to make it look that silky. Thank you for drawing them! ❤️🤡❤️

[tarotwithavi]

Random messages for you from your future lover/future spouse

18+ messages in some piles

How to choose a pile?

Take a deep breath and close your eyes. Kindly ask your spirit guides to show you the right pile for yourself and then open your eyes. Whichever pile catches your attention is the right pile for you.

These pictures belong to their rightful owners.

Masterlist

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Pile 1

"I want to bite your neck and leave my mark there"

"I love the way you walk"

"you look absolutely gorgeous from behind"

"God really took his sweet time creating the masterpiece in front of me"

"I want to worship every part of your body"

"all the lonely nights were worth waiting for you"

"In your arms, I have found my home."

"With you, love is not just a destination but a beautiful journey"

"I will buy you every book you like, but there's a price you must pay"

"In a world of billions, you're the only that makes time stand still"

"The darkness inside me is really to consume you, however I am scared of the consequences"

"If you had any idea about what I want to do to you, you wouldn't be standing here challenging me"

"I want to know everything about you, your likes, dislikes, what makes you happy, what makes you sad, every fucking thing"

"Your whispered desires set my soul on fire"

Pile 2

"You think you can run away from me love?"

"I crave you, I desire you, I want you. In. every. way."

"I love the way you look right now. You don't need to change anything"

"You're flawless. People who find flaws in you are blind"

"tie your hair up. Show me your neck"

"Your presence lights up my darkest night"

"You can literally sell me poison and I will buy that in gallons from you"

"Your acne scars correspond to the craters on the moon. They make you even more beautiful to me"

"You look so f-able in my hoodie"

"You can be my black cat and I can be your golden retriever"

"I will never force my beliefs on you"

"You look magical in that dress"

"I don't want other guys to be close to you, to touch you, I know it's selfish but it's something I can't help but feel. You make you go crazy over you"

"You're like a Siren, alluring me with your voice, enchanting me with your appearance and making me want to do things that are not so pure"

Pile 3

"You are so pure so innocent. I feel like I will taint you with my darkness"

"Some things are better as secrets"

"Do. Not. Provoke Me. You'll not be able to handle it"

"I am not that type of person who dreams of getting married on the first date. But something about makes me feel I should wife you up, like right now.

"I want to see a mini you or/and mini merunning around in our house"

"Do you mind if I ruin your lipstick right now?"

"can you see hearts floating around above my head? No? *Gets heart shaped balloons from God knows where, puts them above their head* Can you see them now?

"With you, even the simplest moments become cherished memories"

"I crave the taste of your lips and the touch of your skin, you are my sweetest addiction"

"With you, time flies by like a shooting star, leaving behind a trail of cherished memories"

"Don't leave me. I have loved you too much to be separated from you.

"You make flowers bloom in my heart just from the thought of you"

Pile 4

"I will work hard for you. I will work hard for us"

"To be honest I will let you step on me"

"Our future is so bright together mama"

"In your arms, time loses its meaning, and all that matters is our love."

"How long do you want me to wait for you? 1 month? 6 months? 1 year? 5 years? A decade? I will wait for you if it means that I can be with you even for a minute"

"I will never judge you for your past. We all make mistakes and it's fine. As long as you don't repeat the same mistake"

"You feel like chopping off your hair? Go ahead, do it. I bet on my left nut you will look good in every hairstyle"

"What makes you think that I wouldn't eat your snacks? Am I not human? Or Do I not have taste buds"

"In the heat of our passion, time fades away, leaving only the intoxicating blend of our souls"

"Your touch ignites a fire within me, and I crave the taste of your lips on mine"

"Baby I am preying on you tonight, hunt you down, eat you alive"

[kyouka-supremacy]

ooh how about Yosano for the ask game?

Yay Yosano!!! I love her so much <33

Favorite thing about them: Her backstory,,, It's just a masterpiece, for me it's really the peak of bsd's writing. “We don't want your skill. We want that kindness of yours” and “You don't need a skill at all. There's real value in your sadness.” ueueueueueueue. In two chapters it made of a relatively flat character a complex and human one, and we love to see that.

Least favorite thing about them: Nothing, she's great??? I can't think of anything.

Favorite line: There's no line that hits me in particular I can think of, but I really like the emotion / delivery of some of them. This one I like tons:

brOTP: Aaaaahhh I love her I want to see her interact with everyone. Older-sister kind of characters are ALWAYS my favourite. I love her dynamics with Ranpo and I like to think they have this sort of sibling complicity of two people who have known each other for a very long time and love each other deeply. I like her relationship with Fukuzawa, I like how explicitly protective he is of her, I'm glad she has someone she can trust who looks after her and makes her feel loved. (Actually, the Yosano / Fukuzawa relationship makes me emotional. Because Yosano was so deeply traumatized and broken and basically dead when he took her under his wing, and she looks so healthy and confident and serene in the canon timeline, it's basically a miracle; and the only way this could have happened is by having someone who deeply loved and cared for her, someone who kindly guided her through every step of rehabilitation. It moves me a little). I really enjoyed her interactions with Atsushi!! And I like to think Yosano and Kyouka would hang out, I feel like Yosano would be happy to sort of return the favour and help back a little girl who was able to slip out of the darkness just in time; I can see them have this kind of inter generational relationship where they go shopping together and chat about girl things.

OTP: I really like kousano!!! I feel like Yosano deserves her spicy pm love affair too ahah. I think it's got lots of potential for both fluff and angst, and I believe it's a cool relationship to explore for both characters!! I wish they'd meet in canon. When I first watched the anime I was low-key into ranposano, and though I don't feel very strongly about them anymore, I think it's a nice ship nonetheless!

nOTP: Nothing. Really I don't dislike ships pffttt.

Random headcanon: Something I don't think I ever brought up but that I firmly believe in is that whereas all the other ada members live at the ada dorms, Yosano, Ranpo and Fukuzawa have their own house where they live together. Fukuzawa took Ranpo to his home when he adopted him, and then Yosano joined them when they took her in because I mean, there was no way that they could leave her alone, right? So they've always lived together, and they are happy together, they never felt the need to change that. That's the real ada found family for me if there ever was one. Really like deconstructing the idea of nuclear family or of the fact that children can't live with their parents as adults while still being independent. Also it just makes sense? And it's heartwarming to think that Fukuzawa, the lone wolf with no friends of relations, now lives in a happy and lively household.

Unpopular opinion: Yosano existing isn't enough to beat the bsd being sexist allegations, I'm so sorry everyone I wish that was the case.

Song i associate with them: Kilmer by Niru Kajitsu, I just wish I didn't (个_个) There's even a beautiful fanart of Yosano in the style of the Kilmer pv here. Also Fräulein=Biblioteca by nyanyannya, just based on vibes alone (the purple butterflies!!), to mention something a little less depressing lol.

Favorite picture of them:

Favourite panel from the manga:

(Took me like. One hour to pick just one. She's always stunning in Harukawa's art style.)

Favourite illustration:

Favourite illustration in the anime art style:

Favourite Mayoi card:

Send me a character?

[morvith]

I stumbled on this post by @velvet4510 : "If Míriel had lived, would Fëanor still have followed the same dark path?"

I voted "no" because so much of Fëanor was shaped by his abandonment issues.

...pause for a moment as I contemplate Fëanor growing up well-adjusted.

But, let us imagine for a moment a perfect word.

A world where Miriel doesn't die after giving birth to Fëanor and Finwë still gets his large family (The other children of Finwë will maintain their original name for clarity’s sake)

So Miriel does not die, but the birth still leaves her fragile. It takes her a long time to recover and decide that she wants to try again, so much that there is a big age difference between Fëanor and Fingolfin

Which, not that unusual among Elves, I bet it's not uncommon for siblings to have about a century between them.

However, when Fingolfin comes along, Fëanor isn't just of age, he is fully established: he has found his craft, maybe he is not a master yet but at the very least he is well on his way to it.

He definitely panics at the idea of his mother being pregnant again, since he remembers his early years when mother was recovering - how weak and wan she looked, how easily she tired. There are arguments about it, but eventually Miriel puts her foot down and points out that this is her decision, she wouldn’t do it if she did not want to or feel up to it, and that's final.

But, perfect word: Miriel's second pregnancy is much, much, much easier than her first one.

Same for the pregnancies that follow. Her difficult first pregnancy becomes something to tease Fëanor about - within the family only, of course, but still. Imagine that.

Fëanor does not go down the same dark path. That  does not mean that there is no dark path, or that it's not somebody else who takes it.

Maybe in this universe Melkor can't get his claws into Fëanor because he simply feels zero resentment for his younger siblings. Why would he?

It's not like his parents do not give him attention and if one of them is busy, he can always count on the other. 

Did he get some jealousy pangs? Yes, sure. He is not perfect. But he probably kept them to himself and thoroughly regretted them once he had his own children and got to see parenting from the other side.

But what about Fingolfin, the second son? The one who grows up in the shadow of his oldest brother?

The one who is still doing all the paperwork because Fëanor is off creating and can't be bothered. The one who is taken for granted, the one who will never be considered for Crown Prince because....well, why would he? He is the second born, after all. 

And he is Not Fëanor.

But perhaps that doesn’t work, either. 

Perhaps in this world, because Fëanor and Fingolfin are similar, they end up being close. Perhaps Fëanor here does appreciate all of Fingolfin's hard work, and since this is Fëanor we are talking about, you know he would not be quiet about it.

Imagine Fëanor taking Maitimo to meet Baby Makalaurë and whispering, "I hope you will grow up to be great friends, like me and your Uncle Nolofinwë."

So Fingolfin is out. What about Finarfin? The third son, the last child, the one overshadowed by both his older brothers? 

What about Findis? Or Irimë?

Maybe it's Fëanor who dies trying to defend his masterpieces. 

Maybe it's Finwë who, mad with grief, stands before the Valar and swears a terrible oath.

(with many thanks to @wings-of-indigo)

[khunvegas]

Have you/could you make a list of your favorite/best bl kisses?

i feel honored that someone asked me this 😩 omg ok. this is gonna be the longest post ever.

here's my list of the best bl kisses with a few of my favorites. in my own personal opinion.

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

●dark blue kiss

i think p'aof went very galaxy brain with the idea of an underwater kiss and for that, he is very valid because it's a very iconic kiss. the show itself could have had some work but then again, it was 2018. everything was wrong back then.

● still 2gether

NOW i talk a lot of shit about this one AND WITH GOOD REASONS. HOWEVER, gosh mantype stole the show for me WITH ONE SINGLE KISS. imagine that. it was groundbreaking FOR ME. too bad we will never gonna see them together again.

● 2 moons 2

this was the only time joong knew how to kiss. no further explanation.

● history 2: crossing the line

even though this whole scene was a dream, it was still a marvelous experience and for someone (me) that was just starting into this bl bs, this one sealed the deal for me.

● history 3: make our days count

this whole scene... you just had to be there. also they had the most happiest ending ever. for sure for sure.

● history 3: trapped

what can i say? taiwan always put their money in those workshops. their plots might be a little outta pocket with the incest and the getting killed because of some salt but i can always trust them to put on a show.

● manner of death

i have no explanations WHY this is a favorite. it's just too good. and it's not only their porn-level kisses, the show itself was a masterpiece. if no one got me, i know maxtul got me. manifesting a show with them again.

●lovely writer

the show itself didn't click with me. too many sound effects and some of the characters were very annoying to me. HOWEVER, the food was very tasteful. let's see it again.

● a tale of thousand stars

i really debated between this one and the final kiss but i had to choose this one because i feel this one is more meaningful. it was a promise that they would see each other again and i'm a sucker for promises. still, p'aof lost some points for giving us one single actual kiss for the very last minute.

● like in the movies

picture this. we are in the middle of a pandemic, unemployed, some places are starting to open back up, thailand is in shambles so they can't release anything. enter the philippines with the vision of starting business with the bl industry and they release this masterpiece. it was such a good show and they had the material for a season 2 but sadly, their time is over. 10/10 tho.

● we best love: no.1 for you

gosh, taiwan. you will always be the best.

this was a very emotional scene and they truly deliver with the kiss and the tears and the bridge. it was all 10/10

● bad buddy

I MEAN, DO I EVEN HAVE TO EXPLAIN??? like damn. now i do have some complaints here and there but this kiss right here??? it was such an experience. like the girlies that watched this while it was airing know how it felt because not a lot of people were prepared for how ep 5 would leave the whole fandom in shambles. the confession plus the kiss PLUS how it ended??? emotional damage 100. incredible.

●enchante

LISTEN!!! YOU BETTER LISTEN!!!! because these bitches, as rookies as they were, DELIVERED. see because even though enchante was a flop in terms of views and gmmtv never giving them an inch of promotion, my kings ate each other on camera and gave me the most toe-curling kiss ever. i don't care if you thought the plot was silly or you want to act funny and say forcebook look related, whatever that means, they did what needed to be done. end of discussion.

●not me

"but offgun had better kisses!!!!111!!!" i don't care about any of that. i came here because babygirl first is a homie hopper and he was going to kiss another man on camera.

the show itself was really good, a little bit draggy towards the end (and there were some Things with some characters that the fans weren't that happy with) but overall, they put on a great performance. HOWEVER, danyok will forever be famous. a tragedy too.

●to my star

GOSH. the originals. the men that weren't afraid of success. see because up until this point, kbls were a flop in terms of kisses (some even in plot) and their first kiss was a flop too BUT THEN this final scene came and robbed me at gunpoint. i was so sure we would never get a proper kiss AND THE BITCHES CAME AND SLAYED ME. not only they gave me a proper meal, it lasted for hours. i was left in shambles. 14569722/10.

●to my star 2

i have to put both scenes because what the fuck. I MEAN, WHAT THE FUCK MAN???

there's absolutely nothing i can say but enjoy??? i guess??? they said "oh, the industry is a flop. let us fix it" AND THEY DID... now the show itself had its ups and downs; a lot of people didn't like how it was made and how the plot was going; it was devastation after devastation and no one could see the light at the end of the tunnel. personally, if they had done the plot a little different, a lot more people would have been happier, including me. but that doesn't take away the fact that they killed it, amazing performance and the kisses speak for itself.

● my secret love

now was this show groundbreaking? no. in reality, it was more of the same stuff we all have seen but the catch with this one is that the acting is good enough and the plot is engaging, and you can actually see that some actions lead to repercussions in the show. however, i do have to talk about these two. they stole the show and they weren't even the main couple and my theory is that because they didn't have enough screentime, they decided to go all out with their scenes and god, what a time. this was just the beginning of this scene btw, there's more to it.

● golden blood

this one goes to show that sometimes you just need vibes, exceptionally good chemistry, some silly characters and a small mukbang. golden blood was a disaster in like everything, so when i tell you i stayed for them, i'm serious. they were the only reason i kept watching. the rest? i don't even remember because i skipped most of it.

● cutie pie

see, decisions were made when they filmed this. the show was very silly itself and there were some plotholes that were ultimately overshadowed by zee's tongue. i honestly don't remember much. i just remember the iconic kisses and how tonnam stole every single scene (and that's how he has his lead role now). also perth. but those workshops came through because all four of them ate this (and each other).

● cutie pie 2 you

before anyone says something about zeenunew, save it. i watched this long ass advertisement just to get nuersyn crumbs. that's it. i don't even remember how many episodes it had but it was so unnecessary. HOWEVER, tutoryim came and gave us the performance of their lives. i have absolutely no complaints with those two. would i ever want a special focused on them? yes, 100%. i also have to add maxnat also had a great performance with the little to no screentime they had. we were living off crumbs, for sure.

● you're my sky

oh, bestie. when i tell you this show made me climb my walls every saturday last year, i'm not kidding. THESE TWO, MY GOD. for the girlies that watched this show, you know what i mean. the tension was OFF THE ROOF. THE WORST PART? open ending. the most toe-curling tension right here just to get a drunken kiss and then NOTHING. the most excruciating 12 weeks.

● don't say no

this show was a wild ride. like, the toxicity surrounding leo and fiat? it was too much and the plot was nonexistent, which it was the point. basically, it was "two best friends in a room, they might kiss" and they did, so what happens next? this is the "next". how they actually act now that they are in a relationship. fiat had a lot of baggage plus being horny. those two fucked like rabbits and NOTHING was left to the imagination. the biggest surprise was smartjames. they had an awful ending but at least we got good food.

●blueming

you know what they say, tms walked so that the other kbls could run and this is a prime example. then again, it's the same director, so there's a standard these shows need to have and damn, i think they exceeded. now, the show was very different from the manhwa but it was still a good show enough that there might be season 2.

● kissable lips

compared to some of this list, this kiss is not even that good. HOWEVER, in the context of kbls, it was really memorable, especially when you have watched the show and the only thing that you can remember is that one of them was a vampire and died but died after having a good fuck... honestly, they had $5 and a dream and they made it work.

●cherry blossom after winter

the dream kisses are always the best ones.

this was a very cute show overall and i think it had the first m|m couple that gets engaged with a ring and everything in a kbl. very iconic, if you ask me. very brave too.

●cupid's last wish

listen, i'm not a fan of the body swapping trope but at least they went original with this one (at least no one died... side eyeing the shipper). and i'm pretty sure the director told earthmix to go wild with this one. pretty sure it was the pent up energy from atots. what a performance. a think there are a few kisses from this show. great food.

and that's it because tumblr only allows 30 pictures per post, so if you want part 2, let me know. i still have some that i can add.

[deathsbestgirl]

quagmire (guess i just do random episodes now)

(thoughts for mikaela)

their whole first scene really is a masterpiece.

he woke her up on a saturday morning !!! expected her to be ready in five minutes, then has the audacity to complain about queequeg. i can't with this man, he's too funny

(mulder hating queequeg is hilarious. because he's a dog person, but the kind that thinks big dogs are real dogs and small dogs are rats. and personally i think scully loves ALL dogs, especially ones others don't like or want)

them looking back at queequeg sitting so nicely in the back seat and he makes THIS face them

he's just a little baby (waiting for someone else to die so he can have his favorite meal again)

but anyway.

scully's whole speech cracks me up every time. mulder is a SUCH a pain, but she doesn't question the case until they're already driving in the car for who knows how long. she loves taking queequeg with her. she loves that pup but she also loves annoying mulder as much as she loves their verbal spars.

"it's not jurisdiction that i'm questioning mulder...what are you leaving out?"

scully KNOWS the x files now, she knows mulder's game. this is a toned down fight club scene cuz they don't flirt like that yet. and literally why is he like this!!! he can never just tell her, he wants her to interrogate him lol

i actually really love this about them. mulder did this right from the pilot, and eventually scully yelled at him for keeping things from her, hindering the investigation by keeping her in the dark. she outright asks for his trust twice (i think?). and he still doesn't fully trust her for a while, but i think scully makes her ethics very clear, and that she has more of an open mind than she seems to. she just still thinks ~science will have the answers (and like...she's not wrong. even when mulder is right, they can't prove it without her science). and the more they get to know each other (and LIKE each other & trust each other) it really does become a game. mulder can see how her mind works, and then when she finally has all the information, scully can call him crazy and all is right with the world.

(scully is the only person who can call him crazy and he genuinely loves it. because he knows — because he learned it's affectionate — it doesn't mean she thinks any of less of him, and that she'll ignore his theories. she's just gonna make him work for it because he has to, to get what he wants. and scully will still be there by his side searching for the truth with him every step of the way.)

just a note: i'm kind of surprised she lets dr. farraday talk to mulder the way he does. although i think she might have some similar feelings, she absolutely thinks the x files are worth it and they've already seen some incredible things science didn't have answers for yet. even if at first it was only about what mulder said to her in the pilot — why does the fbi label the cases "unexplained phenomena" and ignore them? she's seen enough to know the x files are important and they do actually make a difference to the people they (try to) help.

i love this little bit of insight into child dana because what a nerd!! she worships the sea her father sailed on and she believed in mythical creatures and learned about them. even some more obscure ones. and she actually loves entertaining his notions and some friendly ribbing: (i love her she looks so soft here)

AND THIS. i can't help but think about deep throat when the woman in the diner starts telling him about ufos & he buys the picture. sucker. i swear she has the same exact expression on her face: (can't find the exact moment but)

(did ansel manage to get ANY good pictures of mulder & scully? come on dude they're so photogenic and they have the perfect opportunity to take them — and in these outfits!!)

(these kids obsessed with drugs, too funny. i love that they bring them back a few times)

(it's like rush hour yet they didn't even try to actually show that lmao)

REGARDLESS OF WHAT I BELIEVE THERE'S NO EVIDENCE OF WHAT YOU BELIEVE.

mulder, my girl, you HAVE to show her the evidence. well, find the proof lol she won't believe without it and you actually need it!! he's so silly. i love his theories.

(they really don't see what pulls the sheriff into the water?? all of them standing right there, so unserious)

[master-kohga-dating-sim]

Return

I wrote some stuff for Sakiru because i can't stop thinking about him,,, my silly guy i love him

This is for @bugger-loz's dungeon boss AU :3

Word count: 626 Characters: Sakiru, Astor Warnings: Body horror (talk about someone's flesh rotting while they're still alive), talk about someone intentionally causing pain to themself

Click, click, click, click.

There wasn't really any way for Sakiru to describe the noise other than a click. When it started, he would've called it a drip. Each little drop of water hitting the ground, drip drip drip. But as time went on, the sound became less discernible. Somewhere between a drip and a click. Not a pat or tick or plip, it had to have that strong ck sound. As the white noise turned into words, words and letters lost their meaning as they melted to color and faded into the blackness.

Click, click, click, click.

When the drip of the water became nothing, the pain spoke up. All of Sakiru’s ugly organs were safe in their jars, leaving his remaining flesh to scream at him and beg not to be left behind. Of course, he ignored it, and of course, time ignored it. The rancid meat cried and wailed as it slowly died around him, but it left the zonaite and bones in their full purity. Once it was all gone, the pain would subside. Sakiru had no sense of days or weeks; he marked days by points of interest. Pain increasing, pain subsiding, the loss of feeling in his head, his body freeing itself from larger and larger swathes of meat. 

Click, click, click, click.

Sometimes the pain was to Sakiru’s advantage. The dying flesh was his only friend, its screams his only conversation. He found that by moving the zonaite, grinding the meat between the plates if need be, he could create more pain. Rhythmically, he did so between his brief periods of sleep. He made songs from it. At first simple patterns, but eventually he learned to create full orchestrations. Different kinds of pain- burns, stabs, stings, crushes, all in different intensities, the different instruments on the stage. A constant low hum of it, the bass. He made melodies from the movements of his body, masterpieces that would never be heard by a single soul.

Click, click, click, click.

He had no idea how long it had been. Ever since the Demon King had been sealed away and he had fled into the Spirit Temple down below, his world had been darkness; the depths of his mind. His life was the movements of his body, the songs of pain, his being slowly purifying. All up until that one day, when the stone doors scraped and pushed to the sides. Everything stopped, the music went quiet, as Sakiru was bathed in the light that he had forgotten the feeling of.

No more click.

A hylian man was standing there, obscured in black robes. All Sakiru could see was his face. His features were carved, blanketed with uncannily pale skin. Braids of straight, black hair decorated with gold rings hung at the sides of his head. What caught Sakiru’s attention about him was the gold circlet he wore, framing an eye similar to that of his old master.

Sakiru tilted his head. The liquid within the glass rushed by his face, making him realize that the bones were now bare. An apostle? Another disciple of the Demon King? Hadd the seal finally broken, had his master returned?”

The man spoke. His voice was thin, yet smoky. “Are you the alchemist?”

Sakiru rolled his jaw to try and get the movements back. Raw bones clicked and popped against each other. Though his vocal chords were missing, he still found words. It was as if his voice rumbled from the air itself. It was raspy, rusty. “My name is Sakiru, I… I am the Demon King’s alchemist.”

A smile pulled at the corners of the apostle’s thin lips. “Wonderful”, he said, beckoning outwards. “I have someone- many someones, in fact- to introduce you to.”

[crash-and-cure]

Hello my darling, I have a question I could google but would prefer to ask what seems to me to be the fandom’s resident expert…i.e.: what is the definition of a yandere fic? Due to reading some of your own masterpieces labeled such I’ve got a vague notion of it, but as I believe I may be currently writing my first fic to truly deserve the “dark” label, I wanted to ask how you define that.

I love you and admire you and hope you keep on doin’ what you’re doin, you bless us all with your writing

Xoxo Marina 🌹

OMG Marina Hi!

Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement it really means a lot to me!

So as for your question, let me preface this by saying that this definition maybe an incomplete definition

Generally a yandere fic is characterized by a character being obsessively in love with another to the point of being willing to commit violence in order to take or keep the object of their affections. Crimes such as stalking, kidnapping, blackmail (emotional or otherwise), assault, even murder are not off the table for the yandere character if done in an effort to posess the one they want. Often very jealous, and posssessive of their person, they often delude themselves into believing that they are the only person that could properly love or care for the one they love.

Sexual interest is not always necessary in cases like these, and they may be simply seeking emotional fulfillment through this person. I kind of explored that in Burnin' a Hole Where I Lay, where Elvis believes that a sexual relationship is impossible with the reader and staves off of it, but does more or less still have her act as a girlfriend to him emotionally speaking and he lashes out and is in plain denial at first when she reveals she's leaving soon. But once he became aware of her real presentation all bets were off.

And this can come in very different levels, but often times it's less about the yandere's actions, and more about their persons reactions. If the yandere commits murder and their person is Ok with it or never becomes aware of it, it would be more classified as a dark or soft yandere fic, while another fic where the yandere character blackmails them emotionally into a relationship and nothing else, but the reader is horrified at the threats and genuinely fears them, this would be a full yandere fic.

Hope this helps and I'm willing to clear anything up if you need.

Thank you again and can't wait to read what you have in store!

Edit: Can't believe I forgot to add that what seperates a yandere fic from a dark fic is if the character in question commits violence in order to obtain/keep the person they love.

Ex.

If character in question kills someone who has wronged them personally or for other reasons not pertaining to the person they love =not a yandere (i.e, Hannibal)

If character in question kills someone who has wronged the person they love = Yandere but soft (i.e, JD from the Heather's)

If character in question kills someone who even showed a modicum of interest in the person they love = Yandere (i.e, Joe from You)

(Note: Killing in examples above can be replaced with literally any crime, and point remains the same)

[jeju-tangerine]

my top 10 kpop songs of 2023 :-)

after putting much too much thought and time into it, i have finally sorted out and written a list of my favorite kpop releases of 2023 ^_^ this was such a great year for kpop in my opinion, for full albums especially, and i hope 2024 will live up! in creating this, i decided to only include 1 song per artist, so as not to have the whole list be just one group. the songs often stand as representations of the entire albums, though. now here's my list :-)

a very special honorable mention goes to: "WOULD YOU RUN - Original Version" by TRI.BE, "LEFT RIGHT" by XG, "welcome to MY world" by aespa, and "loving me" by fifty-fifty (released in 2022 but i only got into it in 2023, but it's a masterpiece and deserves a shoutout)

NOW!!

10. super shy - new jeans i'll tell you one simple trick to ensure that you never grow to dislike a song from it being overplayed on tiktok: don't use tiktok. "supershy" is THE song of my summer. it's light, it's breezy, it's fun, and its repetiteveness only lends itself to it being so incredibly catchy. despite their questionable background as a group, newjeans and their team keep delivering music that feels like a breath of fresh air in the k-pop landscape, and i'm glad for it.

9. i want that - g-idle g-idle dominated this year with "queencard", which is not on MY personal list of favorites, but i would never deny its impact. however, though "i want that" was less successful, it hit so much harder for me - probably because of its actually enjoyable and catchy english lyrics (especially the verses), the dark undertones of the song, the dark… well, overtones, of the mv, and the masterful combination of the intense beat and the sweet bridge, nailed by miyeon's lovely vocals.

8. bye my neverland - kiss of life the initial soft, sugary, fairytale atmosphere of the song is soon elevated when a distant sound of a bell leads us through the prechorus right into an explosive chorus - not unlike the clock striking midnight and forcing cinderella to leave the ball. the emotional impact of this entry for me lies not really in its musical qualities, but in them being combined with the lyrics. "bye my neverland" is titled perfectly. it's an ode to making hard choices and to refusing to stay in your comfort zone, even if it seems crazy to throw it away - and at the same time, the song acknowledges that doing this is difficult. there's a sense of deep melancholy in it, but also comfort and hope. i guess that's growing up.

7. bouncy (k-hot chilli peppers) - ateez i am not a noise girlie at all, but i could not escape the siren song of ateez this year. "bouncy" goes so damn hard it's kind of ridiculous. every part is a joy to listen to, the members' deliveries are energetic and full of genuine passion - or sometimes nonchalant, when they should be -, and their live performances impressed me immensely. i might have to look more into their discography after this. "bouncy" doesn't need much description - it speaks for itself.

6. but sometimes - boynextdoor this is FUN music. i mean this more for this song than any other on this list: every single line, every sentence is deeply enjoyable and memorable. you know how some songs are nice and have pretty choruses, but when you try to remember what the verses sound like, you somehow just can't recall much? this is the opposite of that. such an incredibly fun song structure - and it's not even especially unusual. still, it's skillfully written in a way that seems to follow the phases one goes through after a breakup (or at least a teenager would). i also adore the choreography, and i'll be paying a lot of attention to boynextdoor from now on. especially jaehyun and his frankly insane charisma on stage.

5. mine - ive ive was my top artist on spotify this year, and for a good reason. in my humble opinion, they DOMINATED 2023. their first full album was absolutely killer, there is not a song on there that i dislike and "i am" is a masterpiece of a title track. however, because this is a deeply subjective list, i decided to go with "mine" as a representation of ive on here. it's my favorite track on the album, it was my 3rd most listened to song of the year as well and i love it so much. it scratches such a specific itch in my brain with its rhythmical tempo and dreamy soundscape. this song just sounds like what love feels like.

4. menow - fromis9 another perfect album of 2023 was in fact fromis' "unlock my heart". it seems like fromis have a fully realized musical identity now, and it's lovely to experience. there are better songs on the album, namely "attitude" (man that goes crazy), but "#menow" is still the heart of it, in my opinion. it feels genuine, fresh but cozy. there is a deep yearning for living life authentically to the song, and authenticity is one of the very main themes of the full album as well. "attitude" is phenomenal, but it lacks that wonderful casual girl-next-door vibe that fromis' body of work has to it, in my opinion. "#menow" captures it so well - while still being extremely fun! that prechorus? come on. other standouts on the album: "bring it on", "what i want", "eye contact".

3. rising - tripleS now here is my number 1 most listened to song of 2023. tripleS have released some super interesting-sounding stuff. i'm a big fan of "new look", and of "girls' capitalism" too, despite the title, but "rising" dominated. that second verse absolutely kills. i also love the first title-drop in the first verse, for some reason. the song is really catchy and fun, the mv looks kind of silly but gets you in the right mood, and i'm especially enamored with the last 2 lines. some songs have weak or underwhelming endings, but this is the opposite of that - i LOVE the very ending. what more do i need to say about tripleS? they were literally so right when they said la la la la.

2. farewell neverland - txt maybe i'm cheesy for it but i cannot resist a good acoustic guitar, especially when it goes as hard as it does in "farewell neverland". such a beautiful, beautiful song. deeply emotional, deeply mournful, DEEPLY atmospheric. AND it was the culmination of a gorgeous EP, which also featured such bangers as "sugar rush ride", "devil by the window" and "tinnitus". i don't know how to express how much i love this song. it's tragic, it's regretful, it's intense but measured. it sounds stunning and it is aging like a fine wine.

underwater - red velvet it's so difficult to pick just one song off a red velvet album. "chill kill" is perfection, everything i could expect from my favorite group and more. they never disappoint - they just keep surprising me with their music's longevity instead. among flawless bsides, "underwater" managed to slightly stand out. from first listen i felt there was something transcendent about the song, so it is here representing red velvet on my list proudly. there are few tracks that embody the 'velvet' of red velvet as completely as this one does. sensual, ethereal, a tiny bit dangerous. "underwater" gets you simultaneously submerged in the deep end and levitating in the air. i won't stand for ignoring "chill kill" the title track, though - it's perfect as well. the more positive-sounding melodies elevate the uncanny mood and really make it a classic red velvet title. and, okay - let me talk about the mv quickly. killer. literally. so creepy, so disturbing, so hopeful, so artfully made. and the vocals on the entire album are stunning, by the way. one other bside standout for me: "nightmare" - it literally has a musical structure which corresponds to the experience of having a nightmare and freaking out and then waking up and realizing it's all okay and it was just a dream. my GOD!!!! i come back to their music all the time, and the reason is simple: noone else does it like red velvet. they are a one of a kind kpop group and i'm so thankful for them.

thanks to anyone who's read this and have a great rest of 2024 guyz ^___^

[skippyv20]

Notes on a rainy day...

Hi Skippy & Friends-Pilgrim checking in on this holiday Monday. ** The new statue in Boston leaves much to be desired. This is supposed to be about an inspiring love story, celebrating a major international award! The joy of the moment is missing IMHO. 10 million invested, when Boston has so many other big bills to pay with a brand new Govenor taking over just this week...on top of all the "immigrants" that arrive in the dark of night, flown or bussed in that will now be automatically given an official MA driver's liscense and freebie$$? NYC is totally overwhelmed too with "immigrants" along with untold small towns being quietly invaded. The public is not encouraged to mention it because we are told these unvetted people are not really illegal...sooo...does that mean the King in the olde fable WAS wearing clothes???

** How refreshing to see the Duke of Wales speak English correctly. His younger brother seems to think it is proper to say over and over, his pronoun first..."me and my wife" showing how poorly educated many Americans are.

** The portrait drawings of ERII are fantastic. It's hard to believe only 5 months have passed-especially for her family carrying on!!! Barely time to catch ones breath with the powerful images of her funeral; joyful celebrations of her last Jubilee AND the ugly war of the Harkles. ** From the story about her fabulous, sweet PJ brooch...perhaps they will make one with fine crystals in silvertone for those of us who can't afford the real deal. Otherwise I will look for something similar, circle with Lily of the Valley and Thistles. A long time ago I was introduced to collectible costume jewelry which was a major industry right here in New England, mainly Providence, RI. From 1930-60's popular brands signed their jewelry lines which became really collectible due to their fine workmanship, high end crystals, plating and priced for the average lady. In the 80's a couple of Italian collectors published a fabulous "coffee table" book featuring some of their best finds. That began an international collector craze which I joyfully joined by accident. I was lucky to find many beautiful "book pieces" still affordable over the years. Anyhoo, this brooch reminded me of those good times hunting at flea markets and antique malls in cities across the country. Every year I wear a favorite Christmas brooch on my coat. Yesterday I decided to keep this up changing them out for fun, even if brooches aren't in fashion. If ERII thought they were a good thing to wear then why not keep up the tradition in our own little way? If you visit a Canadian site called N & N Vintage Costume Jewelry, Masterpiece section, I think you will find lots to study for inspiration! There are many beautiful books now about who the top designers were and their best pieces.

** With so many difficult things happening around us it is mind blowing to try to take it all in. I admire Princess Anne and Sir Tim Lawrence as they quietly handle massive responsibilities supporting the public. Also, the very busy Catherine, Princess of Wales who simply said when asked about Harolds insulting claims, that she was "baffled." Boom! Right there I sensed the Harkles are toast. Yesterday's news. Tempest in a teapot as in, the ship has left the dock and the sun is sinking in the west...LOL At least one can hope...off to my easel to take care of MY mental health.

Thank you, great post❤️

[deeplyuninterested]

Nosey Mutual Questions

Thanks for tagging me along @bvrgundybxtch 😎

You're wandering in the forest and come across a giant, warm stack of pancakes. Is your first instinct to eat them, nap on them, or a secret third thing?

Third thing: I just leave them be and carry on, because it's a forest and I don't know who else might have stumbled upon them (or what they did to them). 😅

You must choose a new pet. The only problem is that the kind you pick is five times the size they normally are. What pet are you picking?

As much fun as having a gigantic elephant would be, I'd have nowhere to keep them. I think I'd go for an ant to avoid all the problems and give that heavy worker some more power! 💪 (or maybe a Tarantula to terrorize people? 🤷‍♂️)

Make a team of your six favorite not fully evolved Pokemon.

Hmm, I'm gonna stick to the earlier gens and pick: Vigoroth for obvious reasons, Grovyle looks good, Vibrava, Drowzee, Onix and Haunter. I think we're good! 🤝

Which three adjectives are most used to describe you?

Cold/distant, smart and funny (the fact that they are used doesn't mean they're true obviously!)

You're a racer in Mario Kart: Double Dash!! Which character are you picking for your racing partner?

I've never played Mario Kart. :/ I'm gonna go ahead and talk about Crash Tag Team Racing: I always liked Doctor N. Gin and for a partner I'd pick Pasadena. (I need to replay this game soon!)

What's a smell that's supposed to smell nice that makes you wish you didn't have a functioning nose?

Coconut, because the first time I got really drunk (back when I was a teenager), the Malibu scent just covered everything else and I still can't smell coconut in any form. 🤢

What's the last thing you purchased that made you feel like a Real Adult?

Some pills for the catching a cold haha 🥶

Pick a single episode from a TV show you love to force your mutuals to watch with you.

Episode 7 from the 2nd Season of "Dark" was a masterpiece, but I doubt people would understand anything, without having watched the previous episodes. 😫🤯😵‍💫

You're now a Fire Emblem character. What gift should someone give you to raise your Support Level?

I've never even head of Fire Emblem. I've played Epic Seven, does that count? 👾

Name of the last playlist you listened to and what was your favorite song from it.

I've recently created some playlists for car trips, based on how fun or sad they are. I guess people could give this song a go. 😈

I'd like to tag @thewell101 , @tim-ee-sis and @drimmms , if they ever feel like doing it 🧐

[genericswordsmaiden]

summer reading/writing/arting tag

Tagged by @inkysqueed (thank you so much, fellow Jumpluff and Oblivion enjoyer!)

1) Describe one creative WIP you plan on working on over the summer.

Of course, even though I have many ideas in mind (a one piece/crossover fic, an oblivion fanfic and a story about an AU me and my friend @zombinafonfrankenstein came up with) I'm going to continue writing Dark! I'm giving it my all because my goal is to publish it and see it on shelves!!! But for now the english version is available on ao3 (it is updated a bit irregularly because of life and other stuff, but some friends said that it's good nonetheless)

A description of it? Magic amnesiac guy and friends travel across the Afterlife to retrieve books and save the universe from some kind of eldritch creature. It sounds like pure crack and in some way it is. It's also brutal.

2) Recommend a book!

Oh, this is a tough one! But if y'all haven't done it yet, go read The Book Thief. That story changed my life, and it made me cry so much. I loved Liesel and Max's friendship, and also Rudy... He was best boy. And Hans deserves the title of best father ever. Oh god I'm crying again, it's been years since I last read it and it's still a fresh wound! A masterpiece.

3) Recommend a fic!

Another tough one, since there's so many fics I'd like to share! I can't name less than five though, because I absolutely adore them and I wish people of the respective fandoms would read them. Sorry.

Honor bound by penwarrior11 (The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion) (this one is part of a series and it is the first fic of it. It follows the story of the game alright, but I love the scenes with Mara and Martin, and also Baurus. A precious little gem.)

Everything by nonman (Half Life: Alyx) (this one began in 2021 and proceeded slowly, as of now I'm waiting for the last chapter but guys, it is great! It gives continuation of the cliffhanger at the end of HL:A and it is written masterfully)

No more dreaming of the dead by @mina-murray-harker (Re-Animator 1985) (I love the style of this one, safe and disturbing and full of movie and music references. I think the Re-Animator fandom would love it to bits just as yours truly does)

Candlelight by @clichejoe (Encanto) (this is still my comfort fic and it is very beautiful, colorful - and the main character is the most lovable oddball researcher ever)

The fear of the ocean by FishingLure (JoJo's bizarre adventure) (this one emotionally scarred me - it's been two years and I still haven't recovered)

4) Recommend music!

Pat Metheny Group's discography. But also Seventeen's discography... No, I have to choose a single song. I must choose a single song or else I'll be here all night! Alright, here we go: Haru No Maboroshi by Superfly. It sounds like a sunset. I used to listen to it when I ended uni lessons late in the afternoon, it gives me a comforting feeling and restores my spirit a bit.

5) Share one piece of advice!

Hmmm, I'd say to never forget yourself. Other people may leave, but yourself is the only one who will never leave you. Some people might see this as insensitive wording, but I truly mean this with all my heart. There's time to be spent in introspection, there's love to be found in ourselves, for ourselves. There's a certain kind of healing that can only occur when you are with yourself. Also, to everyone reading this, regardless of shape color gender and preferences regarding tea - tell people who are dear to you how much you love them and hug them. Spread good stuff, hugs are the best drug - and they're free!!

Tagging @koumeowkami and @stardusteyes and also the other beautiful people I already tagged are totally free to copy this and post their own answers!

[fox-under-the-willow-tree]

Top 15 Books of 2022

Another year has gone by and me, despite stress, work and studies managed to read 51 books this year, finishing the last one exactly on the 31st of December. Here is my Top 15 Recommendations for 2022. Why 15? Because I read more nice books than I expected and I couldn't narrow it down to just 10.

15. Three Body Problem Series - Liu Cixin

Now I know what you're thinking. This sci-fi masterpiece only made it to number 15? But let me explain, the problem is not the book, but me. In the Three Body Problem (book 1) Earth is threatened by a realistic depiction of an alien invasion set in motion by a misanthropic astronomer, which leads to a grand narrative, bigger than I can fit in a single Tumblr post. In book 2, The Dark Forest, Liu Cixin continues the story as humanity prepares itself for the invasion. Book 3, Death's End, which is by many considered the best and in which science fiction and fantasy start to overlap, big questions about the meaning of existence are speculated by the author in a magnificent, incomprehensible ending, which transcends my understanding of the series. The series is excellent, but the reason why I ranked it lower than other novels, is because I simply struggled to understand the many scientific concepts which we being discussed and the elaborate scenes which connected to the next books. For lovers of hard sci-fi, who have a better understanding of physics than me, I'd highly recommend it. I feel I need to properly sit and take notes to fully understand the series and maybe even do research on many topics before I fully capture its brilliance. I might give it another shot in the future.

14. I'm Going to Live - Lale Gul

This is an autobiography written by a Turkish woman who grew up in a conservative Muslim household and her experiences with her surroundings. The novel has been highly controversial in the Netherlands and the author even doubts whether she wants translations to be made, as her life is being threatened sharing her experiences. Because of this, I recommend reading it. It showcases the hardships she went through in an immigrant household, in which she felt she did belong in anywhere. Major respect for her writing such a poignant biography about her struggles.

13. The Secret History - Donna Tart

This has been the dark academia book we've all been recommended by Tiktok and yes, it is amazing, it is dark, it is gothic, it is dramatic. And yet, it did not leave me fully satisfied at the end. I loved the premise, I loved the characters, I loved the idea behind the book and I'd say the book accomplished most of its goals, but there were other moments where it fall flat. The role of their Greek professor, the underdeveloped personality of the protagonist, the long drawn out scenes of them simply sitting and smoking or drinking. Yeah, if Tart had cut down the book to 250 pages, it would've been probably my favorite book of the year, but it dragged on a bit too much. Still, can't deny the talent of the author and her excellent prose.

12. Why Fish Don't Exist - Lulu Miller

Sometimes it's not about whether the book is right, but whether you found it at the right time. If you're in your 20s, struggling with your job or studies, feeling alone and isolated, this book feels like a warm blanket. It's a semi-biography of the biologist David Starr Jordan and the ways in which the author intertwines her own experiences with her fascination for this person. It's a simple read, comforting read, which confronts you with some ugly truths, but ultimately, tries to make you stand stronger in the face of hardship.

11. Crazy Rich Asians - Kevin Kwan

Wanna know what would happen if Sex and the City took place in Singapore, except even more crazy and rich? Then this is the novel for you. A hilarious, dramatic and exciting story about several rich Chinese Singaporean elites and their daily lives, qualms and love lives. Finished it in one go and had several moments where I laughed out loud. Definitely a fun read! (By the way, the movie doesn't do the book enough justice. Read the book!)

10. Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe - Benjamin Alire Saénz

A coming of age story of two Latin-American teenagers who slowly start to develop feelings for each other. It explores themes of queerness and homosexuality in the Latin community. A brilliant depiction of gay love from a talented writer.

9. The Little Prince - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

It's amazing how many metaphors about love, loss, life and the art of never growing up Saint-Exupéry managed to fit into this tiny novel. It even moved me to get a tattoo of the fox and the little prince as a reminder to appreciate those around you and to never grow old and bitter.

8. I'm Glad My Mom Died - Jenette McCurdy

Remember the girl from iCarly? She wrote a bestseller which skyrocketed her as an author. The novel is a autobiography about the life of Jenette McCurdy as she grew up trying to make it in the show business, mostly to please her obsessive and authoritative mother. It discusses self harm, depression, loneliness, alienation, body dysphoria, the need to succeed and much more. In this novel McCurdy showed that she is not only a talented actress, but an even more brilliant author. At the end of the novel, even I have to admit I was glad her mom died.

7. Crying in H Mart - Michelle Zauner

Another biography by a well known artist. This time the singer of the indie band Japanese Breakfast. The story is about Michelle's upbringing as someone who had a Korean mother and an American father. Most of the first half of the story is about the frustrations she had with her mother who didn't understand her and the way they slowly drifted apart. The second half is a deep psychological analysis of herself and the way she dealt with unmet expectations from her mother, her grief over losing her and finding comfort in the Korean dishes they used to eat together at H Mart. A bitter sweet tale about a first and second generation Koreans clashing and the way that shaped Michelle Zauner as a artist, but even more, as a person.

6. The Fault in Our Stars - John Green

I've only seen the movie in 2014 and all I remembered was the song at the end of the credits by Charli XCX, so you can say I'm late to the party by picking this book up in 2022, but damn. I know there's been some severe criticism of this book, but there's one thing the book really excelled at: the romance. I rarely enjoy reading romantic stories, because they tend to be repetitive in tropes and themes and, from what I've heard, this book has its own unrealistic depictions of romance. But... I don't know, but somehow the novel just got under my skin. I loved the dynamics between Hazel and Augustus and cried at the end. It's one of those books you never forget.

5. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley

As someone experiencing alienation and status anxiety in the modern times, I felt it was time to reread this English classic to see if it held up as well as when I read it in my teenage years. And boy, it did not only hold up, but it blew me away. The philosophical discussion about choosing between freedom and a life of conformity is more relevant than ever and my guess is, that it will stay relevant for a long time. After reading it, it kept me thinking about where we're heading in our current society. Are we even free? Or is it good enough to make people think they are? And if we become fully free, is a life as a Savage desirable? Excellent choice to keep you awake at night and ponder the political climate of our times.

4. Girl, Interrupted - Susanna Kaysen

One of the front runners of the 'unhinged woman' trend that we're seeing in modern literature. (Think 'Bunny' by Mona Awad or 'My Year of Rest and Relaxation' by Ottessa Moshfegh.) Except for Susanna, her autobiography isn't a trend; it's a description of the hardships she endured in a mental ward for women during the '60s. It's a book you can finish in a single sitting and which reminds you not so long ago we treated our mentally ill as the clinically insane.

3. Flowers in the Attic - V.C. Andrews

Once again, I'm late to the party. I've seen many posts of girls who secretly read this scandalous novel in middle school, their parents unaware of the insane story V.C. Andrews had crafted. And yes, the story is insane. It's about four children, an older brother and sister and their twin siblings, who lose their father and whose mother decides she will take them to her rich family to demand her part of the inheritance. All sounds well, except that upon arrival the children are all locked up in the attic, until the mother deems the coast to be clear. What follows is a shocking and outrageous story of survival in the attic, in which the older brother and sister start to act like parents to their younger siblings in more ways than one...

2. Circe - Madeline Miller

I've reread this book again and it was my number one favorite book of 2020. And, what can I say? It has witchcraft, feminism, magic, Greek mythology, descriptive colorful prose, revenge, love, regret and drama. A cocktail which seemed to be measured to the millimeter to satisfy my personal thirst for a great literary fiction. It has everything I love and didn't even know I loved. I can't recommend it enough. I've heard Madeline Miller is currently working on her third novel, a story about Hades and Persephone and I'll be the first in line to get it from my local library.

1. My Dark Vanessa - Kate Elizabeth Russell

Boy, what an unexpected way to end 2022. Just as I thought the year was nearing, I found my favorite book mere days before the fireworks would be launched and I literally devoured it. The story is about a 15 year old girl named Vanessa who gets accepted in a prestigious high school and subsequently is groomed by her English teacher. The book references 'Lolita' by Nabokov several times and the intertextuality it conveys is eery to say the least. This book takes Nabokov's work and completely flips it on its head, showing the tragic effects the sexual relationship, which Vanessa desperately romanticizes as a way to justify it (by, for example, drawing parallels between herself and the singer Fiona Apple), has on the life of single individual. The novel jumps back and forth between Vanessa as a teenager and Vanessa as an adult and how one man has the capability to completely take over and destroy the life of lonely, insecure girl. What makes the book even more tragic is that Vanessa denies being abused until the very end, despite the reader obviously seeing how the teacher has changed her future for the worst. It's not for the faint of heart and it's definitely not meant to be seen as a love story. It's a tragic tale of losing yourself in another without the support of anyone to guide you. It's my absolute favorite book of 2022 and it haunts me even days after finishing it.

[vole-mon-amour]

IWTV, 1x06, part 2.

Now you're just torturing yourself, Lestat. :( Get some respect and leave.

When will you stop bullshitting him with this spectacle? He's more than 500 old. Stop it.

They both deserve better but somehow don't see it? Will this misery ever end?

APPLAUDING. POETIC CINEMA!

I still think "There's life in the old lady yet!" is better, but this is a masterpiece of its own kind. Just a little silly conductor hat added, but what a change. <3

Two babies. To think an actual dog was nervous and Sam tried to comfort it, ahh.

I adore him. He's everything. I low key want to grab Sam and never let go. What a performance.

Magnificent. Iconic. Breathtaking.

Perfect in every way.

Crying and listening to the dog licking his fingers. Crying some more. I love him, your honor. Friendship ended with Louis and Claudia completely, friendship started with Lestat.

I don't care about ANYTHING else from now on. Lestat and the doggo. ;_____; Lestat petting the doggo with both hands ;_____; Sam, thank you for your service.

The dog enjoys itself and LIVES after the petting session (it would never if Louis was there), with Lestat being so gentle and loving towards it, "Back in your cage, sweetheart." Sam gives the performance of the century while having the time of his life, his hand shining from the dog's saliva.

The train scene is e v e r y t h i n g. Consider me lost in him, completely.

On another note, did he seriously just threatened Claudia with finding Bruce, telling him where Claudia is, and letting him rape her again? DID HE or is it just my mind? Cause, after all, he did say it was "very poor taste".

You should have, then. This is all very mean and toxic but I can't help but love him and be biased towards him. He sees right through her & still allows her to go with her plan to kill him. And I hate every second of it. I hate the idea of it. I hate even thinking of it.

Everything about him.

an au in which Lestat doesn't let Claudia continue with her plan. an AU in which he's safe and well and never injured and— ;__; i want him to snap her neck and turn her to dust, i am losing it here. her inner monologue and Louis' reaction is straight out of the book, I can give them that. how Louis holds onto Lestat still being alive and trying to convince Claudia to stop, but also not being able to resist to the full extend.

The entire moment when Lestat frowns as Claudia outplays him in chess. "No, that can be." STOP IT. STOP IT. S T O P _ I T, i am going to lose my mind over him getting his throat cut. It's been a while since I felt this sick about a piece of media and let it get to me.

I just want to hug him. Or protect, even. Hello, darkness, my old friend.

Crying. I think it's time for bed for me, too. Sam is... truly something else, playing that outburst. And I hate how Claudia speaks for Louis, tries to convince him, "You want to kill him too. And you'll enjoy doing it." Thinking about the book and how miserable Louis was about the idea of killing him and when Lestat was choking on the poison and his own blood as Claudia was stabbing him. This is nauseating.

"Rashid, are you awake?"

"I can be."

I'm so curious about the nature of their relationship. What lies in the core of it & what they want eventually from it. If Armand has another plan for Louis.

Young Daniel is basically Jeff Goldblum.

The reveal is perfect. This was, for once, a good episode.

P.S.:

Contrary to me crying at a chess scene, at least I've been blessed with a hand and nails. I need an entire gifset with his hands.

[slugbaby]

<rant>

How many more Christmases will I have? Holidays in general? Birthdays, and unfulfilled promises of visits to a haunted house, snuggles with my furbaby, cuddles with my spouse - how many until my body does me in?

Can't have children. Can barely stay alive. Miserable most days I am alive. But have to smile. Have to act like the pain isn't happening. One foot in front of the other. Listen to the rants of others while trying to hear through my own maelstrom. Stay confined in one small box after another. See the world around me in glimpses - behind glass - when time or mood permits.

I thought I'd have better luck job hunting here, but it seems to be more of the same. Thought I'd have better luck making friends, but I'm left feeling ashamed and inadequate instead. Undeserving.

Yeah, I have high pain tolerance, but that doesn't mean I'm not constantly in pain. Yeah, I'm used to feeling disappointed, but I'm also constantly struggling with feeling discouraged when plans fall through and/or become overshadowed by dark clouds.

I wanna enjoy what little of my life that I can while I can. Before I get told I have The C Word or, worse yet, multiple C Words. Before they tell me I'll spend the rest of my days being constantly checked for The C Word. I wanna finish a story. Wanna publish a story. Wanna play games with friends around a table. Wanted to have a family...

At the end of a life, you look back down the road at all the places you stopped to shake the dust from your shoes. You stare down at your bleeding feet and wonder how you got here without dragging yourself, before remembering that you did. Your knees, your legs, your arms and elbows caked in dried blood from where you crawled when no one could help carry you. When you could not carry yourself.

And then you can't help but pause and ponder what it was all for. The emptiness of your useless life hits you hard (bricks from a third story window kinda hard), and you realize you have no answer for that. You didn't help the people you wanted to help. You made no lasting impression upon the world. You left behind no beautiful masterpieces, no souls touched and moved to greatness, no well-remembered deeds in your wake.

You are better off gone. The road you left behind little more than an overgrown path in the woods. It will close up behind you once you stop treading it. No trace that you were ever there before.

I keep gazing at my hands. Flashing back to moments as a kid. Remembering that I have always been unhappy. And stupidly faking my way through life in the hopes that I'll feel it if I act it. Desperate to bring that joy into other people's lives and crushed when they either don't acknowledge it or appreciate it the way I had hoped.

I'm proud of the little Christmas tree. The little rainbow lights shining in this small, dark room. Keep me safe, little tree, in the cold. I'm so scared and so alone. Everyone I knew nearly a thousand miles away from here. But even when we were 20 miles apart, it felt like a void - a chasm that stretched endlessly. I feel like I'm spoken to more now that I'm away than when I lived in the same state.

And it leaves me torn between anger and sorrow.

Rambling. Always rambling.

These words will vanish with my path. One day. Hopefully not soon, but maybe. I'll just keep holding my breath and await the answers by myself. Like my mother did before me. We gave her no choice so it feels only fitting that this be my fate, too. I earned it. I'll carry the burden.

Fuck you, Kerry.

Fuck you for every broken part of my body. Thyroid, gallbladder, ovaries, intestines, kidneys, liver, etc - fuck you. You already took my life from me while you still drew breath. What gives you the right to do so from the bottom of a river?

Fuck you and fuck me, too.

</end rant>

[mesfantomes-marie]

My Favourite TenRose Fics

Fanfiction is brilliant. There, I said it. After years of studying for my PhD in Linguistics and Phililogy, endless nights spent reading Calderón, Diderot and Dostoevsky, I still believe certain fanfiction should be praised and published. It should be remembered.

Quadrophobia by Howlcastle. The Doctor is split in 4 personalities, but not in a creepy James McAvoy kinda way, trust me. I love this, because of our beloved TenRose dynamic. It's well-written and laconic. Novel, Teen (there will be a lot of these in this post, since I'm not a big fan of explicitness in fiction, since it's hard to find something tasteful)

Wolf and the Butterfly by sparrowmarrow. When Rose begins to be plagued by ominous nightmares of the Doctor’s future, a future without her, they realize that something sinister may be lurking behind the exotic stalls of Opifex’s acclaimed market. Oh the Angst! With a happy ending, of course. The characterisation is SO GOOD, darn. Novel, All ages.

Breaking Vows by Molleyn. Ten and Rose accidentaly bump into a parallel version of Rose on parallel Earth at war. Basically, the Doc can't tell them apart and leaves the His Rose there, only to realise his terrible mistake and come back to her 3 months later. Will she ever forgive him? Beautifully written angst with a happy ending. Evil doppelgangers, love confessions and a smidge of well-written smut. Novel, Teen.

Effeuiller La Marguerite Part 2 by whollyuncertain. Angsty and original. Happy ending. Hurt/Comfort. Post ThatDamnedFireplaceEpisode I hate so much it took me 5 months to even CONSIDER reading fixits of. Short Story, Teen

TenToo/Rose

I think it's the best happy ending Rose could've ever gotten. Not gonna lie, it had been difficult and so many fics had dissapointed me in the past. 99% just go in the exact same direction of 10.5 being miserable and as far from 10 as possible. I don't like it. So these fics are the only ones where I feel like Tentoo is actually 'in character'.

Laddie, Lie Near Me by @abadplanwellexecuted. Beautiful. I am a big fan of this author, check out her work. Here, Tentoo is not OOC (what a surprise...) and Rose is not a total byotch to him (another surprise). Short story, Teen.

The Wind By Night by @tripwirealarm. A masterpiece! Told from His perspective, which is honestly refreshing. Angst with a happt ending. Novel, Adult.

AUs

Never been a fan of AU fics before, but I guess falling in love with this particular pairing means you all of a sudden become a fic addict and anything goes. Am I right?

A Place Where We Only Say Goodbye by @weezly14. I cried, but actually it was worth every single tear (cheesy, but heck! that's the way I feel about this masterpiece). So much insight, great character development. Coffeshop AU, novel, part of the Time Loop series, Teen. Did I mention it's slow burn? Gotta love 'em.

nothing happens until something moves by @lauraxxtennant. UniVerse. Professor!Ten / Student!Rose. I had a crush on my German Professor once, it was wonderful. Novel, tastefully Mature.

Sweetheart by @stoprobbersfic. UniVerse. TenRose, Oxford. Read this whilst listening to 'Dark of the Matinee' by Franz Ferdinand with a cuppa on a war mnight in early spring. Romaticize your life a bit. You will not regret it. Novel, part of a Series, tastefully Mature. Warning: mentions of a certain French individual.

A Sun Will Always Sing by @lixabiz. Tutor!Ten / Student!Rose. I guess I'm just a sucker for this particular trope, especially written by someone so talented. What a pleasure. Short story, Teen.

That Home I Find Outside Your Door by Queen of The Castle. Homeless!AU. Last, but definitely not least. This fic just left me speechless. The idea is bloody brilliant, keeps you on your toes 'til the very end. Angst with a happy ending, of course. 2-parter, Teen.

And a bit of a (unofficial) crossover. I love the Harry Potter series and especially the character of Barty Crouch Jr. Tennant in a long leather coat will haunt my dreams forever. So, there's this incredible fic, called Snakes' Nest by elmira777. Summary: When Rose Clifton, a pureblooded witch, had been abducted and forced to marry Barty Crouch Jr, it didn't even cross her mind that this was her chance to save the world. AU, takes place after Goblet of Fire. It's a Work In Progress, which sucks. BUT! And it's a big 'but'. It's so cool! Technically, it's not a HP/Doctor Who crossover, but I just can't help it. Rose here, Rose there. It somehow just works.

And you know what? The best thing about WIPs - you can use your imagination and finish them in your head. Novel, Teen.