#I mean. besides the obvious.
this time, I told myself, this time I'd do it right, I'd actually make a plan for my week off and I’d get a lot of things done, or at least I’d get some of the things done that are either urgent or that I’ve been needing to do for months or even years, and not just come to the end of the week hating myself more for having had all that time and wasted it
reader, you'll never guess what happened next
I mean, I did get some stuff done! Several things, in fact, but I didn't even finish all the urgent things or get to any of the things I've been meaning to do for months/years, and I barely made a dent in the list of stuff I felt like I should have been able to do during an entire week, so now I feel way worse about it than if I hadn't taken the time off to begin with. and in fact instead of trying to get through at least a couple more things on my list today, I spent most of it basically just trying to distract myself from the spiral of self-loathing...which is to say, not doing any of the things I actually needed to be doing, because that would first require me to choose one of them, which would require me to think about all of them and choose others to give up on doing...which of course also means getting to the end of the day with more panic and self-loathing about the things I could have done and didn’t, and feeling like I should stay up late to do something but I can’t fucking choose because it’s too late to do everything now because I fucked it all up again, and choosing one thing means acknowledging I already failed, is that the problem? when I’m still scrambling for a way to make that not be true even though it’s not possible because, you know, the week’s already over?
but, okay, I did some things, it wasn’t enough but I did some things
made some appointments
got my updated covid booster
did a ton of playtesting, proofreading, and bug reporting in the VN I’m helping test (this admittedly took up way more time than I expected)
wrote and mailed like...35 postcards to voters, which would feel like more of an accomplishment if I didn’t have at least 50 more that should go out on Monday
tentatively arranged some pin trades, mailed another one
bought postcard stamps
hung the biggest of my new pin boards so it doesn’t get knocked over again (there’s nothing on it yet, it’s just out of the way now)
took Hazy to get her nails trimmed
bought...some stuff...from some small business...there were sales, okay, don’t judge me
left some comments on some fics
also left a bunch of Etsy reviews
made a super simple custom Lego minifig Loki, although I’m probably still going to change it; also ordered additional Loki minifigs to do so
took some pictures for eBay
which doesn’t look at all bad when you list it like that, except when you consider I could have probably done most of this stuff in a normal week while working, and the list of things I really, really meant to do was not all that long but the things on it were significant, so...I don’t fucking know.
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We all know that Matthew set up the pool scene as a reference to the hanging of Judas (Matthew 27:3-10), inspired by Hannibal's own lecture from the novel and Antipasto.
Then Matthew complicates things by duct taping Hannibal's arms to a broken broom pole, making him look like Jesus. Judas is never depicted in the crucifixion pose (he's normally hanging from a tree branch), so the show is obviously implying that Hannibal is playing a sacrificial/savior role in this episode (at least in the eyes of Jack and Alana).
But then Matthew keeps spreading his arms out in mockery. I don't know why I never put this together before, but he's totally supposed to be the impenitent thief!
Jesus was crucified along with two bandits. The one on his right was penitent and asked for Jesus to remember him in heaven. The one on his left mocked Jesus with the rest of the crowd, saying that if he was really the son of God, he should be able to save himself. Matthew is standing on Hannibal's left in both of those shots, and there's an empty spot to Hannibal's right where the penitent thief would stand if he was present. How fun!
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it's sad it's tragic whatever. it's also extremely funny that eventually rory's plans for fixing any given situation start looking like "What If I Killed Myself At It". and like he's right. this has worked. multiple times.
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cr looking to ditch 5e as fast as possible to use daggerheart is the world's worst kept secret bc since when does the entire cast show up for a one shot dfkgjdk
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hate it more than anything when people are like "[character] doesn't deserve [person/thing] because they are/have [mental disability/symptoms of a mental disability]" like damn at least try to pretend you aren't ableist please and thank you.
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sometimes I forget that elon renamed twitter to "x" and then I remember and lose my mind about it all over again. what is this guy's problem
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I'm writing Tate's dad confrontation and I need to know, if you were to meet him, would y'all have emotional reactions other than:
fuck you old man
fuck you old man, but like, less confrontational and more ameliorating
fuck you old man, extremely hostile, running at him with knives, etc
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why is rhea seehorn so fucking jacked like what the hell is she training for…
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Marceline winning the finals purely bc people hate Vriska lmao
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the rwd season 4 qna inspired me to start thinking about college au headcanons except a lot of these are gonna be really specific to my school and y'all are just gonna have to deal with that <3
Kyana feeds some of the school cats. she would feed all of them if she could
Dani smuggled Plug (the scrawniest black cat you've ever seen) into her dorm room illegally and somehow management hasn't caught her yet (based on a true story) (Kyana visits to see Plug all the time)
Finbar keeps an updated tier list of every canteen in the school with breakdowns of the best stalls/dishes for each
A senior from the school of engineering once said to me 'all the engineering people dress like rats cuz our classrooms don't have aircon' (context: tropics) anyway that's Dani
Kyana would probably be involved in a lot of freshman orientation events from second year onwards. she just likes talking to the new kids and giving them advice like she would be the kind of orientation group leader who'd get messages from her freshies asking about all kinds of random nonsense because she's made sure they know they can always contact her with questions
VR-LA is The Guy you go to for textbook pirating resources
(this is more of a 'wouldn't that be funny' but VR-LA is just Veerle's discord handle)
Docent is the name of VR-LA's old laptop that broke down so he gave it to Cassimere (computer engineering major he met once at a networking event) to fix except Cassimere got everything off the hard drive and then somehow managed to fuck it up Even More so he had to get a new laptop (and named it Emi)
Roy has gotten food poisoning from his dorm meal plan at least once (based on at least one true story)
The heap trio + Mandy would be those friends constantly playing majong in the dorm lounge and if all the majong tables are taken they just play in one of their dorm rooms on a towel to dampen the tile shuffling noises (it was Mandy's idea)
Every morning Dani goes to the drinks stall at her faculty and orders one iced coffee to the point where the stall owner starts preparing an iced coffee whenever they see her approach (based on my true story)
Roy would be one of those people who goes clubbing every other week and every time he tries to drag the rest of the heap trio and Egan almost always goes and Dani would go if she didn't have a good excuse but always begrudgingly. anyway Roy would always be the only one having a good time until Egan gets drunk enough to start having fun
Finbar actually uses the dorm kitchens instead of just buying canteen food and it always makes the hallways smell really good
Vhas also uses the dorm kitchen sometimes but like. one time i walked into the pantry on my floor and someone had left cut sweet potatoes and 2 eggs in an inch of water in a pan on the stove. that's Vhas
Kyana's constantly applying for overseas exchanges and international summer/winter school programmes. the world is large and she wants to see it!
Maxim's the definition of a hall phantom. you know he lives on your dorm floor because you pass him by in the hallways sometimes and literally nowhere else. sometimes you're not convinced that he actually exists
VR-LA and Maxim's friendship stems from them being from wildly different faculties (VR-LA's in STEM, Maxim's doing anthropology so arts/social sciences) but also having lots of weird interests they cant really bug anyone in their home faculties about
Elyse is in student government and every once in a while Finbar receives a series of angry texts about the newest idiocy she's had to put up with
MR-SN and AS-TR start a stargazing club together. other notable members include AS-TR's girlfriend E-DN, MR-SN's friend C-RA (the one who always volunteers to carry the heavy ass telescopes) and MR-SN's friend K-LB who he pestered into coming to fix one of the wonky scopes even though K-LB's actually in electrical engineering but he's the only engineering person MR-SN (an arts student) knows
oh and of course VR-LA joins because he genuinely just likes space (developing a crush on his club chairperson was not on his bingo card)
Kyana and E-DN were MMA sparring buddies at one point which is how she found out about the stargazing and joined immediately
honestly i can probably think of more but this post is fuckin long LMAO
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Kawi is not just shy he has social anxiety disorder (SAD).
A Quick summary of social anxiety: "A person with social anxiety disorder feels symptoms of anxiety or fear in situations where they may be scrutinized, evaluated, or judged by others"
You can see through the drama how he cares about the opinion of others. He builds his whole life over what other people think about him and, in the same way, pushes other people way and keeps a distance.
He also, in many moments, freezes in front of others. For example, when he has to sing as a first-year student in front of his classmates. Besides avoiding places or situations where he feels other people may judge him, which causes him to not have any meaningful connections in the future and regretting all the opportunity he lost. Even the work he ends up at is basically another form of isolation (he does subtitles in his home office and the contact with his boss seems to be mostly through his cellphone).
After a social situation, he tries to over analyse his "performance", looking for flaws in his interactions, blaming himself and regretting the things he said/did. Also, he tends to expect the worst possible consequences from a social interaction or negative experience, believing that any mistakes he makes will turn people against him. Basically, he doesn't allow himself to make mistakes, especially during social interactions. You can see him expressing this a lot in the firsts episodes.
Another thing that shows is that he doesn't feel comfortable eating in front of others, a usual trait in people with social anxiety disorder (observational social fears). It is also pretty common for people with SAD to develop drinking problems. Normally, they have alcohol because it's a way they can be "fun and spontaneous" around other people. However, how he was before, also shows his social anxiety. He was too afraid of drinking and getting loose around other people. That's probably why he never drank. Basically, he went to two different extremes in that matter.
Plus, people that are part of a minority group (in this case queer) are more likely to have social anxiety disorder.
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[Toby knocks on Mikey's door, chirping painfully.]
@toby-the-crow
[Mikey's quick to answer it, opening the door enough for him to stick his head out.]
Toby? What's wrong?
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I wish Nymphia's reaction wasn't so heavily edited after PJ's "you're so pretty to me sister" comment on the show. I wanna kow how she really reacted </3
THIS IS ACTUALLY SUCH A GOOD POINT because it was kinda put together like nymphia brushed it off and it was a silly goofy moment (and gave us the oblivious! nymphia hc that we all know and love so dearly)… but the way jane GIGGLED AFTERWARDS… WHAT DO WE THINK HAD HER SMITTEN IN SUCH A WAY… sooooo many possibilities. can’t wait to write this scene in bty, it’s essentially the whole reason i started writing this fic!!
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one of the things that makes the umineko cast work so well is that they're very tightly written in terms of how they parallel each other but also how they parallel yasu first and foremost and i've always felt like that's an approach sotsugou tried to replicate with the higurashi cast and satoko
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