#I need enby and ace and aro people in my world there are so many false dichotomies where the answer is “neither?” or “both?” or “that's dum

[hottakehoulihan]

Thank you for existing, trans men. Your very existence does so much good in so many ways, and we need you like we need trees and like the world needs the color green.

[olderthannetfic]

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Firstly, the person you're replying to only describe in-person experiences. Secondly, I've been to two universities in the US as a result of getting a scholarship midway through. At one, I was discouraged from attending the queer club on campus by the head of it, as I wasn't queer, I wasn't "really" aroace, I was just "a late bloomer". She informed me that everyone wants romance and sex sometimes. Aro and ace people want it less, she explained, to my face, standing ten feet from me, but they still want it.

No, it's not "only in online spaces". Queer people who use the queer segments of the internet do not only exist in darkened cellars they never emerge from. Teenagers and young adults go to college. It isn't 1998 anymore, pretending the internet and the physical world have zero overlap and what you read online cannot impact or shape your views is ridiculous.

You know how I know this? At my incredibly liberal university, where I live in a gender-inclusive nearly all queer dorm, not only have I heard two separate conversations at floor events about this where it was repeated by other queer students, including ace people, that ace people have sex and ace people do romance, with NO utterance of the word "sometimes", but today? Today, guys, gals and enbies, this Friday, this very fucking Shabbat, I heard it from a professor.

My Social Stratification professor said that asexuality is "a usually treatable condition" and "doesn't mean someone doesn't have sex, just that they have a low sex drive" and when I said some people don't have sex, she said "therapy can help" and topped it off with, "and of course they still masturbate frequently, so they're really not as different as people like to stereotype them as".

I don't. I don't masturbate, it's not fun for me. I don't long to fuck fictional characters or real people. I don't need therapy. I'm not traumatized. I don't have sex. I don't want romance. I don't find reading about it compelling most of the time, either. I don't need therapy for that, because you go to therapy for things that are negatively impacting my life, and actually?

I am aroace in the "wrong" way, a zero-sex, zero-romance, zero-masturbating person, and I'm happy. I like who I am. I like how I am. I have a good life at my dream university, with good friends, a nice room, roommates I like, a mostly walkable part of town, and I'm working on my dream degree to reach my dream career. I'm not huddled in the corner in the fetal position sobbing about the sex I secretly want or on my bed furiously masturbating to anything. I am not lying about my identity, my experiences, my thoughts or my feelings.

This professor is young, roughly 30. That means it's feasible she's been using tumblr for years, as it was popular during her teenage years, or she has been in the company of people who, via tumblr, Instagram, Amino, etc., have this idea of asexuality. And does that idea stay locked inside a computer somewhere? No, because the person who reads them doesn't. The people who read, internalize as truth and believe shitty online takes also exist in the real world. They have physical bodies they take to physical places and they open their mouth and say things, which are then passed onto other people who exist in the offline world.

"The only thing that [they] are seeing is internet wank" NO! The only thing you are seeing is internet wank, but there is not a mass conspiracy of college students across the USA to lie and say we're experiencing things we aren't, which would be the only explanation for so, so many ace people I know online talking in private on Discord servers, tumblr, in YouTube comments and in person having this same shared experience.

I genuinely don't know how people think no one could possibly have the same bad take offline that they do online. Q-Anon exists. January 6th happened. People get radicalized into beliefs much more absurd than this and act on those beliefs constantly and "no you just need to touch grass" is what you arrived at as a conclusion instead of "sometimes people are wrong"?

Though I say this with love, I mean it when I say that you don't just need to touch grass, you need to hug a whole hay bale.

--

[theelfpirate]

I am a straight, cisgender man who happens to love dressing up like Disney princesses from time to time, and even when I was a little boy I always wanted to look pretty in Belle's ballroom dress from "Beauty and the Beast", but people told me I could not, because I was a boy and it was not "natural for a boy to dress like a girl". I was told that liking "girly" things was embarrassing and shameful, and that made me both sad and insecure.

This was in the 90s, in a small, narrow-minded town in the north of Norway and fortunately those times are long gone. But this mindset can still be found far too many places around the world. The whole idea that men who like "girly" clothes, hobbies and aesthetics are "weak" or "weird" is still the default in so called "progressive" areas and this toxicity based on prehistoric gender norms need to be challenged and fought against.

But my struggles with gender norms are nothing compared to those who are transgender, non-binary or identify as something completely different. And as a heterosexual man, I have never felt threatened or in danger because of my sexuality or identity. I am lucky to have felt this privilege.

Too many people throughout history have been, and are still, bullied, harassed, persecuted and murdered for their sexuality or gender identity. They are being shamed and ridiculed, even in the "civilized west" simply for being themselves.

As a straight cisgender man who loves to dress up in fabolous dresses, the only people who have ever harassed me because of this are straight cisgender men.

The LGBTQ+ community, however, have supported me, cheered me on, shown me love and kindness and have made me feel comfortable with being who I am, even when I cannot even begin to comprehend the struggles they have been through.

This speaks volumes about the community, how amazing these people are, no matter how much they have been tormented and persecuted, they still show love, inclusion and kindness.

Their rights should be my rights. It makes me sick to my stomach that my gay, bi, lesbian, aro, ace, genderfluid and transgender brothers, sisters and enbie/unicorn siblings are still nowhere near of feeling the same safety and privileges as I have.

This is why we celebrate pride. Not just for the celebration of this magnificent diversity, but to continue the fight for basic human decency where all and every human being are treated with the same respect and dignity.

No one is free until everyone is free.

LGBTQ+ rights are human rights.

Love, The Elf-Pirate 🏳️‍🌈❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Photo by The Spur Trail

[booksandwords]

Loveless by Alice Oseman

Read time: 5 Days Rating: 4/5

The quote: You know why people pair up into couples? Because being a human is fucking terrifying. But it's a hell of a lot easier if you're not doing it alone. — Ellis

In the interest of full disclose this is an almost automatic 5 star book for me. Any book that features an aro/ace protagonist and treats them with respect and dignity will get 5 five stars, any writing plot or character other flaws be damned. The world needs more aro/ace representation where we aren't the best friend or something to be fixed. But even without my usual aro/ace crusading, this likely would have been a 5. The character are individual, realistic and oh so human, the plot is centred on identity and confusion but is written in a manner that it is readable. And it is oh so relatable for an ace (aro? demi? grey? my romantic orientation is up in the air) who found out well after school what they were. The anger, confusion, sense of overwhelm, and the bizarre sense of mourning due to the loss of what was impressed on you as the normal. One of the best phrases in the book may be "Says who? The Hetronormative rulebook? Fuck that Georgia Fuck that." and you know what amen to that Rooney. The ending is satisfying but still open as is only right for something written for this demographic. This isn't the end of their story it is only the start.

It is worth saying that for those of us who are ace and comfortable with their identity are aware very early on what is going on with Georgia. Georgia is an anxious, touch averse Ace who is trying to force herself to be "normal". With an extended family of almost perfect hetronormative ideal relationships, met early married had kids that have been subconsciously impressed on her as the future and expected of her. Combined with her love of fanfiction it had to be her to the idea that there is the perfect person for everyone. As stated in the intro to this review Georgia is very realistic in her reactions to her newly discovered identity. Confusion, anger, mourning, insecurity. I personally felt all of these and I know others in the community did as well to varying degrees. Georgia does have a conversation with the wonderful Ellis, an ace in her 30s who had to discover her identity and learn her way on her own. Moments leading up that earn this a trigger warning for something that may or may not be alluding to conversion therapy, either way, it is slightly distressing. Ellis is a beautiful woman and a great inclusion. She is a successful woman, making her own way and living her life regardless of what others think.

A moment on the character who for me is the absolute stand out. Sunil is Georgia's College parent, they end up being a something of fairy godace for Georgia. They would hate that term, but it's so fitting for me. Sunil is a homoromantic nonbinary ace with the preferred pronouns they/him (Georgia/ Oseman use him never they), he is the one who introduces the term asexual to Georgia and tells her the potential of it. I really like him, he makes me smile. No one in an Alice Oseman book is two dimensional in their identity (racial, romantic or sexual), Sunil is no exception. He is handled well with the respect of an only slightly older figure, one who is still not entirely set on their feet. And while Georgia is cis white as well as being an enby Sunil is of Indian descent.

The other supporting characters are Rooney, Pip and Jason. Rooney is Georgia's Shakespeare obsessed roommate. They meet on the first day of university and are total opposites. I like their relationship. It's non-traditional but love in a way I want to see more of. Georgia is loyal despite all of Rooney's actions. Pip and Jason are Georgia's best friends. Pip is chaos, Georgia is silent and Jason is clam. They are something of an odd combination but it works well. Jason and his love of Scooby-Doo is both funny and cute. They are all individual and that there is some conflict between them is a good thing.

This is relatable for aces in a similar way to I Was Born For This was relatable for fandom. I would say that if you enjoyed I Was Born For This for its fandom aspects you will enjoy this, even more, fandom specifically fanfic is part of Georgia and her romantic education such as it is. Georgia (, Sunil and Ellis) face misunderstandings about their sexuality. Those phrase aces hear and hate. Sunil's is particularly important they face bigotry from other members of the LBGTQ community, where it is called a made-up sexuality. Georgia gets the 'you'll find the right person', 'have you tried...', 'what about when you are older'. We've all heard them and I could hear the tone. Some of the statements are apologised for others are not, the ones that are are important and say a lot about the importance and development of the character.

A random dump because concise reviews are not possible for Alice Oseman books.

Tommy ending up in the fire is funnier than it should be. I see all kinds of unwarranted metaphors.

Fried Egg is the cutest nickname that would make no sense to anyone but the participating people involved.

Kinsey Scale Test is something hadn't heard of but yeah that is a result a questioning person doesn't want to see.

QUILTBAG is an acronym I had never heard in the LGBTQ community. It's not new, I found it in a 2012 article, where I found this definition it is a good article. "It stands for QU is for queer and questioning, I for intersex, L for Lesbian, T for transgender and transsexual and Two-Spirit, B for bisexual, A for asexual and ally, and G for gay and genderqueer. Even with all those letters, we’ve missed some of the possibilities (such as pansexual and fluid, both of which are identities I’ve heard people claim), but QUILTBAG still offers a rainbow of different ways to identify. It’s also a lot easier to say than LGBTQIA (which is what I started using after I realized how exclusive LGBT and queer were)."

Am I the only one who doesn't know what the Bailey Ball is? They aren't an Australian thing. Well, that and I studied uni by distance.

Rooney and Ellis make some brilliant points about friendship and its importance to aces. The way it is made lesser than romantic relationships in general.

Apparently all the Oseman books are set in a common universe, the easiest evidence of this in Loveless is in the reference to Universe City from Radio Silence.

Roderick the plant as a metaphor was smart. I quite liked it.

This is a really quotable book there are fantastic quotes about love, friendship and maturity.

As an aside. The protagonist brings up her love of fanfic early in the book. There is there are precious little aspec fanfics out there. Mostly one would suspect because sex makes the tv industry go-round (see Shadowhunter and Riverdale for their treatment of originally aroace characters). As Clotpolesonly wrote in reply to me "aspec AUs are practically unicorns, they're so rare in fandom". One fandom that does have fanfics for them is Teen Wolf. Derek Hale can easily be read as an aspec (usually closer to the demi or grey part of the spectrum). So even if you don't know the show have a fic rec Magic and Drag Queens and Lizards, Oh My by clotpolesonly. Also That's When I Knew by Stennerd, this is for the 911 fandom pairing is Buddie, demisexual. There are I know more but not nearly as many as there are for some others.

[encrucijada]

for fae velázquez and marilú: what do they smell like and what animal would they be from the ask meme✨☺️

azzy, respeto tu intento de acortar las preguntas pero reafirmo mi autoridad como la autora respondiéndolas todas de todos modos. here are my two seaside babes 💕

🌹fae velásquez —

what they smell like: something spicy like cinnamon, ocean breeze, sand, is it possible to smell like sun heat??

what their favourite smells in the world are: the ocean, freshly cut grass, cologne

what pyjamas they wear/what they wear to sleep in: if the shirt she wore during the day is comfy enough she will sleep in it and just change her pants. usually to a pair of cotton shorts.

my favourite ship (if applicable) and a cute hc about them: i love fae paired with any of the members of her polycule equally... but for the sake of keeping this short i am going with raf x fae. before fae came to me and told me she was poly he was her original love interest. they are the masters of casual kisses that aren't on the mouth, i'm talking cheeks and forehead and hands. just all the time. raf is a tall person and fae is not, but she will do everything in her power to kiss his forehead if it means bringing him to her level by force.

my favourite friendship (if applicable) and a cute hc about them: fae's only friends are the people in her polycule because no one can deal with her lmao. i'm picking jo x fae. and here's the cute fact about them (not really a hc since it's, well, canon): they move in together shortly after finishing high school, renting this shitty room on the second floor of a shop, and because they barely have any space they have one bed they share. they sleep tangled like kittens. jo wakes up almost everyday with fae's hair on his face.

a song that reminds me of them: fae's theme is rock + roll by eden. "they tell me, i've got something more / and oh, you could be loved / but i don't want the lights to / find me when i'm dark and lost, but never on my own"

what animal i think they would be if they were an animal: i'm thinking magpie because it's a clever bird with a pretty voice that will probably steal your shit

what position they sleep in: on her stomach, wrapped around whatever she has within reach. be it a pillow or a person.

their favourite drink: cookie ice cream milkshakes

a gift i would give them if i could: a pretty pocket knife

🌊marilú —

what they smell like: clothes that didn't dry properly, old book that spent the better part of its life in a closet, the ocean

what their favourite smells in the world are: pine tree, vanilla candles, coffee beans

what pyjamas they wear/what they wear to sleep in: a pair of heavy flannel pants and a fuzzy sweater over a plain cotton shirt

my favourite ship (if applicable) and a cute hc about them: no ships! marilú is aro/ace

my favourite friendship (if applicable) and a cute hc about them: marilú and her boss, mostly because she doesn't have that many friends and i don't think her eldritch companions count. marilú's unnamed boss has the taxing job of making sure this enby he's paying remembers to stay alive. whenever she comes to shore he invites her to lunch and they have a grand time sitting in a restaurant in silence together.

a song that reminds me of them: arsonist's lullabye by hozier. "all you have is your fire / and the place you need to reach / don't you ever tame your demons / but always keep 'em on a leash"

what animal i think they would be if they were an animal: a coyote, pack animal that prefers to be alone when in action

what position they sleep in: doesn't matter because she rolls around so much in bed her sleeping position is "tangled in her bedsheets"

their favourite drink: lemonade and chia water

a gift i would give them if i could: matching woollen gloves, hat and scarf

[thecandlesticksfromlesmis]

Umm so this may be weird for you to recieve.

A few weeks ago I discovered your work. I've been repressing my whole struggle with gender identity for so long and....well it made me think of things.

I watched SFLA first. It was a total coincidence that I stumbled across ATLOU (which was all kinds of lovely by the way) and it took me a bit to realize you were the same person.

Anyway, here's the thing, watching the shift made me acknowledge some things.

I think I might be enby. And aro(or demi, I'm not sure yet)

You playing my favourite character ever, as a trans and ace person gives me a world of joy.

I just felt like its important for you to know that even though you don't know me, and the only interaction we've had is a thank you or two, you have contributed to me accepting my identity.

I hope you know that there are people out there, people you've never met, who are better off after consuming your work.

You're making the world a better place and Enjolras would be proud.

This actually made me tear up, I’m feeling so many things right now. This isn’t a weird ask to receive, in fact, it feels familiar. Not because I’ve gotten it before, but because it feels like a journey I’ve been on too. 

I am so happy for you, and the acceptance you have found within yourself. I know how elusive and scary that acceptance can be, cause it’s the first step--the one that leads to all the others. 

As someone who repressed a lot of things until the age of 21, I know how lovely the relief feels when you finally let yourself say “yes, I am this. And this is good.” It’s an act of love, and the hardest kind too. It’s easy to love others, it’s hard to love yourself. 

I’ve already talked about this before but my connection to Les Mis runs very deep. The stories I’ve written in this fandom, the projects I’ve done, the words I’ve sung since I was five...they’ve been a part of my self discovery too. Just like you. One way or another, the things we love play a part in our creation. 

Thank you for your kind words about my work. I make things because I love how it connects me with people. I care so much about interactions like these. I care so much about you. 

I am always here to help if you ever need to talk. Continue to love yourself! Continue figuring it all out! It’s a process, but with others around to help you and love you, it feels less scary. It feels like magic. 

💖✨🙏🏼 

[arandomuser17]

Thank you for the tag @klavierpanda !

1. Why did you choose your url?

- It was the first thing that came to my mind and I thought it'd be cool. Also, I like the number 17 and I put it in every username.

2. Any side blogs?

- No, I only have this one.

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

- About 2 to 3 months, I don't remember exactly.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

- No.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

- I had discovered that I was ace and I was questioning if I could also be aro and enby, but I didn't know any aro, ace nor trans people irl. So I thought I could meet other LGBTQ+ people and express myself freely on this platform. Now I love it!

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

- I love everything that is related to space: constellations, nebulae and other deep space objects, spaceships and astronauts. So, when I found this pic online, I thought it'd be perfect! Moreover, it's completely gender neutral.

7. Why did you choose your header?

- Again, it's because of my passion for space. It is the picture that was released for the 31st birthday of the Hubble telescope, and it depicts AG Carinae.

8. What's your post with the most notes?

- Since I've never made a post myself, I don't know if I can mention any of them.

9. How many mutuals do you have?

- I think two or three. We've never really chatted, but I'm happy when I see that they reblog my posts or leave notes or tag me (and of course I enjoy doing the same with them)

10. How many followers do you have?

- 6

11. How many people do you follow?

- 124

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

- No, but I've often thought about doing one (lol).

13. How often do you use Tumblr everyday?

- One or two hours a day... But I check it very often.

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

- No, and I hope it never happens. I don't like having fights neither online nor irl. There's way too much hate in the world...

15. How do you feel about 'you need to reblog this' posts?

- I rarely reblog them even if I share what they say (it's because I'm pretty lazy, hahaha).

16. Do you like tag games?

- Yeah!

17. Do you like ask games?

- Yes!

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

- I don't know.

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

- No, I'm greyromantic and I get crushes only rarely and in weird ways. However, I'd like to get to know better a couple of them :)

If you like the game: @saturnicus

[idk-my-aesthetic]

Ask Game

Tagged by: @teetletottle  !!! ty for the tag!! 

Instructions: tag 10 followers you wanna get to know better :)

Name: Blue! or Pluto! i go by both :) 

Gender: pangender nb? i thinks? gender is hard..... i go by any pronouns tho! 

Star sign: capricorn? im born jan 10 2003. tho i’ve been told im not very capricorn like and that im probably like my moon sign but idk enough about astrology to tell.... 

Height: 5′ 5′’ i think?? i don’t pay too much attention to my hight... on a related note even though i’m average hight i have a very lorge build and can lift over 300 lbs,,,,,, my little sisters climb on me like i’m a jungle gym and i just have to be like ‘this is fine’ 

Sexuality: aro/ace spec pan!! which is almost counterintuitive?? it’s like,,,, i only sometimes feel attraction but when i do gender has no effect on it.... 

Hogwarts house: proud Hufflepuff!!! i got a hat + scarf for hannukah! 

potato (my sister) wants y’all to know that she is also a Hufflepuff, and has a Hufflepuff button she loves,  and that our little sister is a Gryffindor. 

Favourite animal: oh g-d don’t make me choose!!! 

i actually ADORE all animals so much!!! even gross ones!!! like bugs are so interesting?? and fish are so pretty!! and snakes are just babies!!! agh i really can’t choose even though those are all such broad groups.... literally you could mention just about any animal to me and i could give you some random facts about them!!! (pls do tbh come into my inbox i will give u facts) 

though i know the most about cats so i guess they are my favorite?? 

Average hours of sleep: hmmmm. ok so i have like Bad adhd insomnia, but!! i’m trying real hard to take care of myself. so if i have school its about 6 hrs?? which isn’t enough but ehhh.... since we’ve been home i’ve been sleeping 8-10 hrs. 

(which if you didn’t know teenagers are supposed to sleep 10-12 bc our brains are still rapidly develping!! pls sleep more if you get the chance y’all take care of urselves ily!! ) 

Current time: 12:25! 

Dogs or cats: like i said before i love all animals, including dogs!! i adore puppies!! but i do prefer cats!! there just such babies and i hyperfix on them enough that i know alot about cat body language. anytime w/ go over someone’s house and they have a cat i befreind it. they’re usually very supprised.... 

i can’t have any pets rn, but when i’m an adult i want like 3 cats!! 

Blankets you sleep with: ok call out time for me.... i sleep w/ like. a comforter, a fluffy blanket, and a weighted blanket. and So Many pillows i don’t actually know how many of them i have. alot of them tend to end up on the floor. most are like random old full soze ones noone else wants, but a bunch are like throw pillows that came w/ my bed spread like 6 years ago XD 

i think it’s an adhd thing but i just like to.... nest ig?? is the best word?? i like pillows ok?? i don’t sleep on my bed like a normal person. 

Dream trip: go back to italy probably! i have alot of family there, so we’ve been a few times to see them. which definatly helps cut down costs lmao, we don’t have to pay for like hotels or anyting and ig it’s an italin thing to fight over who pays for food?? 

Dream job: ok,,,, rn i really wanna get like,,,, super rich so that i can donate alot of money to charity and shit. we’ll see how that works out but im trying

anyway, if we lived in like an actual functional world, i’d probably wanna be a stay at home writer/ parent. and by probably i mean definitely,,,, i’m already kinda doing that and raising my sisters, and i want to adopt alot of kids, so being able to do that would make me really really happy 

When I made my blog: middle school? it’s been a pretty long time actually, and i’ve stuck w/ the same one for the whole time i’ve been here so i don’t rememeber exactly 

Followers: 172! hi y’all!! ily!! 

Why I made a tumblr: i don’t rememeberrrrrr :( but i know why i stay here!! bc i have alot of lovly freinds and theres alot of lovly people here!! 

Reason for my URL: when i first made my acct my username was actually idkkkkkkkkkkk10 (it’s suposed to have 10 ks hope thats the right amount lol) bc i.... literally didn’t know what to make my url. eventually i switched it bc obviously it’s sort of ridiculous, but i wanted to keep the idk theme! so, idk-my-aesthetic! 

on a semi related note, my header is ‘i like hugs’ bc for a while when i wasen’t in a great place it was ‘i need a hug’ but i’ve been doing better for a while, and changing it to something more positive was very meaningful to me 

People I’d love to get to know: if anyone I didn’t tag wants to do this consider this an @ from me!! 

@manic-pixie-nightmare-enby  @feydrian @maeofthedead @non-binarypal7 @trappedinamethaphor @huffiewalkingonsunshine

[periwinkle-sky202]

Your own ocs

tmy favorite female character

Out of ALL my ocs,,, thats so hard. I adore Mary, Isabelle, Chords, Anna, and Ezra a lot tho!!

My favorite male character

*points at the jones twins* can i get more of these little traumatized bitches even tho jasons nb-

Man fuck it in adding this

my favorite enby character

Jason, Artie, Kas, Them. I love these guys. Theyre all wild

My favorite book/season/etc

Im gonna do this as ‘what story i’ve made is my favorite’ and thats probably the old fantasy world i made with my friend!!! It was so much fun to make and develop, i love making stories and worlds with people

My favorite cast member

Haha thats me

My favorite ship

I could write an essay on the ships i adore.  And i will they’ll be under a read more at the bottom,

A character I’d die defending

Uhhh None!! My characters have unlikable qualities and fuck up all the time! My favorite ocs are assholes! I dont feel the need to defend them, some of them are bastards and should be addressed as such

A character I just can’t sympathize with

Im not sure! Not all my characters are sympathetic at all, but I have next to no characters that I like,,,, despise? Besides Gerald whos a shitty abusive dad but thats abt it!! Fuck gerald. I don’t ‘sympathize’ with many of my characters tbh!! I feel bad for them sometimes, but they usually get good endings!

A character I grew to love

I SWEAR JASON HAS THE BIGGEST GLOW UP IN TERMS OF CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AND REWORKING LIKE MY GUY IM SO SORRY YOU WERE ORIGINALLY JUST AN EDGY ‘gonna kill people cause im evil’ BUT ITS OK THEY’RE BETTER NOW.

My anti otp

obv anything goin against my ocs sexualities and also anything just,,,, grody i Despise. its never happened but i amn ready to fight

ALSO

I dont think i can ever forget the time i was talkin to someone(dont remember who) abt Hell Office and the comment was made that jonas and jamison would be cute together and let me tell you that was a one hit ko for a multitude of reasons. The main one being that it made me realize if Hell Office was an actual story with a large enough fandom,,,, some people,,, somewhere,,, would ship them. No Matter What I Would Say they are two white men with a power imbalanced relationship, someone would ship them. the discourse would be Unbridled. My sorrow unlimited. Good thing im bad at focusing long enough to make a popular comic and jonas is in a Healthy Relationship that is on the list below!

Also jamison is aro/ace but that feels less important than the fact hes the worst esp to jonas

ANYWAYS to the ships i like

Jonas/Phoenix

Obvious one! Love these dumbasses. i just think they’re neat and im glad they wound up together. i cant comment much on phoenix’s side of this since they’re not my oc, (Owned by my pal @theartsyskeleton !!)  but its a great thing for Jonas. Jonas is a grumpy jackass who up until now didn’t know what he was going to be up until he met Phoenix. fuck, i didnt either!! but they’re together and i think they’re great together. Phoenix’s kindness works well with Jonas’s. y’know. Grumpiness. and they make each other happy!! its fantastic!!

Maia/Glacius

i wont go completely off on this one but i love them!!!! they’re great parents!! again! cant comment too much from Maia’s side bc she belongs to Willow, but Glacius saw a lady who was genuinely kind and he fell in love so fast, but just didn’t say shit bc he didn’t wanna bother her and he loved being her friend!! This ship is just.. friends to lovers in the sweetest way

Jason/Desmond

THEY GOT THEIR ISSUES BUT,,,, They’re good. or. they try to be good! I like this ship because im biased they’re just. two hurt people trying to hang onto someone they can trust who shows them love. On Jason’s side, they’ve been on their own for so long and has never had anyone see them as anything other than the ‘weird person down the street’ or ‘childish.’ Desmond is someone who 1. Showed romantic interest in them, 2. treated them as a mature equal, and 3. was just,,, the first person they made an emotional connection with in a long long time. On Desmond’s side, he’s spent his whole life trying to look after everyone around him and keep them safe from people like Xiana and Isla, and Jason is one of the first people that have been willing to protect him, and they make him feel safe and heard when he wants to talk/vent about everything hes been through.

Their relationship definitely isn’t perfect, though, and I know this! Jason has convinced themself that Desmond is a perfect person who can’t be wrong, and Desmond still tries to take care of everyone and fix everything around him, including him not wanting to tell Jason things they’re doing wrong and just wanting to help them out of every hard situation they’re in.Their relationship isn’t great!! They’ve decided each other are their only emotional support and want to go through everything with each other so they’re also pretty clingy! But! I still think this relationship is interesting and i like them they just need Work

[dragonmaidvalet]

If you do not believe Asexuals face any form of oppression or that they are not a part of the Queer community...

Then get the fuck off my dashboard! Bye! Unfollowed, unsubscribed, unnecessary content! Didn't need you now nor do I need you in the future! Your vapidity to the fact that people not facing the exact same oppressions you face yet being just as equally mistreated in society is not my fucking problem any longer!

We are in 2019. Almost 2020. The world is changing, it is evolving, and I'm sorry if your shit idiot brain fungus infected meatpie craniums cannot handle this information.

Queer people do not need to fucking validate their queerness to you. They also do not need gate keepers policing how queer you are. We already have problems with actual police killing, raping, and covering up the slaughterings of so many POC Trans people and frankly, you bitches worrying about Ace/Aro peoples troubles and wasting your fucking time trying so hard to exclude them, and bugging your fucking eyeballs out at Agender and Enby people for minding their god damn business and identifying in a way that works out for them is just fucking old at this point.

We don't owe you a fucking telenovella explaining our bullshit. We don't owe you a handy dandy round of pitty olympics to prove who is more queer than another. I'm not saying people who identify as fucking dresser drawers are valid, and frankly its an absurd arguement to bring shit up like that or whatever.

What I am saying is.

Agender, Enby, Asexual, Aromantic, and Queer people don't fucking owe you the time of day or an explanation! They don't! The! End! Its none of your fucking business. The trauma I have had cast upon my body and the horrible things people have said to me to invalidate every part of me as a queer and the ways I connect to that queerness, are none if your fucking business! You are simply asking invasive questions to imploy the same annoying ass rhetoric Terfs use to invalidate trans men and women, and feminists in general, and its ooooold.

Mind your fucking business. Leave Queer people alone. Especially the Ace, Aro, Agender, and Enby people this is intended for. If you supporting these people has a big old IF, BUT, or EXCEPT, then get off my dashboard! Get your cornball ass, crusty dusty ass, no one needs your stanky booty ass, exclusionary booty hole out of here!

Put an egg in your shoe and beat it! I made myself the promise to be much more patient with people I disagree with at the beginning of 2019. You bitches make that shit so hard to do. You make it SO hard to be patient when all you do it go out if your way to cause intercommunity turmoil instead of getting the fuck off Tumblr and going to take care of some real justice. Go work at a community center. Donate your time to a nice charity. Get a fucking job or something, anything other than bothering queer people online who don't need your bullshit.

Oh. And if I didn't say it loud enough the first time.

[themusesthrall]

Sounding out views on LGBTQA+ness in...

Yaa: Mostly treated like a weird fetish. No violence about it, but talk of it outside of LBG communities would definitely be met with amusement and used to squick people. Trans people would be met with “oh like the Yinerny?” because Yaa doesn’t have its own social construct to meet that, negative or positive. In fact, their words for trans people would probably translate to “a Yinerny man” regardless of assigned gender or gender identity. Aces would be the most unfathomable thing to Yaa culture, where life is very much considered to be about power and pleasure--and both are considered inextricably sexual.

Tribes of Yinerny: As implied, they aren’t big on gender, let alone a binary... except when it comes to having sex. Namely, they don’t consider any sexual relations outside of penis-vagina penetration to be “real sex.” Perfectly acceptable, but not sex, just pleasure-seeking. (This includes, but is not limited to, gay sex.) Traditional family units are expected to be comprised of a penis-haver and a vagina-haver, who, without question of gender, are expected to make babies, and they are expected not to have “real sex” outside of that construct. However, “pleasure-seeking” outside of the relationship is not considered taboo. Non-traditional family units and a lack of family unit are socially permitted. Given that, aces and aros wouldn’t find themselves under very much pressure to conform, though they wouldn’t likely be particularly understood.

They don’t concern themselves with gender expression, so much, as role expression. Their identities are hunter, soldier, leader, agriculturalist, merchant, craftsman, cook, oral artist, visual artist, pleasure expert, scholar, subsets of everything listed, and more, though those are the big ones. None of it is considered mutually exclusive, though it would be very much frowned upon to express a role you don’t hold.

The Great Graves: The mass of tiny mountain nations are a bit of an ethnic sliding scale between the Yaa and the Yinerny. If there is an independent mountain attitude that seeps up and inserts itself into either worldview, it probably boils down to “If you deviate from the local norm, we’ll beat you up. But if you can give as good as you get, well, that’s pretty cool, wanna hang out?” And deviants (of any stripe, not just gender or orientation,) that made it “in” would likely thenceforth be defended by whoever had previously come at them.

Kapatak Union: A continent of many countries will have many cultures and views, but with their trade union making travel relatively easy and safe, the cultural cross-pollination has been going on so long I feel I can safely divide this into two subcategories...

Inland and Eastern Kapatak: Kapatak is very big on traditional family values, which to them means SETTLE DOWN AND HAVE AS MANY KIDS AS YOU CAN POSSIBLY FEED AND LOVE THEM ALL YAY. They welcome The Gays with open arms, so long as they’ll follow these simple societal rules... 1, look for a partner to settle down with! 2, that done, adopt as many kiddos as possible! Kapatak assumes this is the reason homosexuality and barrenness exist--nature’s provision for orphans. Bi people will confuse them. (What? Wait. Are you a baby-maker or not? If you can make your own babies, you should, it’s great!) Aces and aros probably won’t will be overlooked, and the sex-repulsed of any stripe will be met with the same horrified pity given to the infertile.

(Views on polyamory, cheating, and open relationships differ too much from country to country to explore here. Some countries/regions hold hetero and homosexual family units to the same standard, some don’t.)

Anyone who does not want to have kids... had better be poor enough to justify it in the eyes of public opinion, or else suffer the >:( of the people. Big yikes.

Trans people and the very concept of non-binaryness would tend to boggle them, but as long as the trans person in question was willing to make or take babies, there would be no ill will. Within the (extensive, mage-filled) scientific community of Kapatak, there is study on intersex biology, and the question has arisen of whether to be trans is in fact to be spiritually intersex.

Western Coastal and Island Kapatak: A lot of the above holds, but ideas and blood from Yaa and Yinerny would have met them in the harbors. And ideas, if not blood, from Juwan.

Mynora: Very... categorical, if not quite binary. Quaternion, actually--cis male, trans male, cis female, and trans female are your social options. They’re fairly egalitarian between the four categories, but enbies are out of luck. Gayness is considered an imbalance of power. Like, the way they see it, cis male-female relations and trans male-female relations are standard. Has to do with the way they see sex and romance as an expression of power from both sides--the meeting of equal and opposite forces. So they would see homosexuality as a, a spiritual mismatch. People in same-sex relationships would be very harried about their love lives, regularly under siege by Concerned Friends and Relatives, but physically safe. Not considered gross, or even wrong per say, but worryingly unbalanced. Anything that went wrong in their lives would be blamed on this unbalance. >_>

Interestingly, this is the only society outside of Juwan that has a word and a social place for aro-aces. The term is “saving themselves for battle,” with the concept being that they must have sexual and romantic energy, and if it’s not being thus expressed sexually and romantically, their spirits must be bottling it for another use. The battle-sworn don’t need to express themselves in battle, per say--but they probably will. (Sex and romance are too intertwined, to them, to consider non-aro aces and non-ace aros, alack. By the same token, casual hookups or cheating = Very Taboo.)

After 200 years of violently oppressive serfdom and borderline genocide under the Kapatak, however, many concepts unique to the Mynore’s culture have been lost or near-lost, however.

Juwan: I know the least about the Juwan, who, like the Kapatak, have a continent of multiple nations. Unlike the Kapatak, they are not as united on many things. But I do know that as a (fantasy) race (morphologically, spiritually, and essentially human), they are the most androgynous people in my world, which makes it feel somewhat ironic to me that many of their cultures seem to hold more strongly to distinct gender roles than most of the other cultures--although they do have a “third gender” role into which trans, gender nonconforming, and intersex people of all varieties are thrown indiscriminately together.

Asexuality is both more common and more recognized, and they are culturally aromantic to the point that romantics would be the ones that required a label. Hetero, homo, and bisexuality don’t have any especial judgement passed upon them, so long as everyone involved keeps inside one of the 3 gender roles. One thing common to all Juwan cultures seems to be the idea that anything worth doing is worth becoming absolutely excellent at, so they direct their sex-judgey energy to the question of “are they a good lay?”

~

There’s a lot more to discover, and probably some things to correct, but that’s what I know about that. Why does my first batch of stories have to be set in the Great Graves and Yaa?? Bleh. It is, for geo-political plot reasons, what it is.

[screechingpulsar]

Hey just wanna let you know that nonbicanary was previously displacecourse and is an exclusionist who has said biphobic and enbyphobic stuff despite being in those two groups. I can DM you proof if you need.

I perused their blog, I see what you mean, I disagree with a lot of their points or think that more nuance should be used when discussing those issues, but also the post i reblogged that had their url in it was a silly meme unrelated to any of these things

If other people don’t want to reblog it because of that, I can respect that, it’s the “scoping out to see if it’s safe to come out to someone” post with the “Gays. Thoughts?” image

personally “discourse”, especially LGBT+ based “discourse” on this site is hellish and exhausting and I want to avoid it whenever possible 

If this made you wonder about my stance on those topics, I’m happy to clarify it for you:

I think ace/aro people experience unique issues that aren’t quite the same as other LGBT+ groups but that shouldn’t exclude them from the community, because our community is FULL of cases like that - sexuality is more than just who you’re attracted to, and ties into gender a lot! Different types of attraction absolutely play a part in that and shouldn’t be left out of the discussion!

I’m also on the ace-spectrum myself and have an aroace friend soooo i aint about to exclude her from the LGBT+ community lol

I know from research projects I’ve done that sexuality used to be defined by action not attraction, so the early definitions of bisexual were someone who has sexual relations with men and women, or regardless of gender - obviously the definition has changed since then

I’m cool with people who IDed as gay or straight switching to bi because their partner came out as some flavour of trans, including nonbinary - as an enby it would mean that they acknowledge and respect my gender for what it is, and not man or woman lite. That being said, if someone said they were attracted to nonbinary people but was disrespectful to them, objectified them, etc. obviously that’s awful - and fetishizing anyone is not a sexual orientation 

maybe there are some people using labels like bi or pan to try and get off scot-free with being transphobic and gross but they’d get shut down by the non-gross people real fast - especially by bi and pan trans folk

I didn’t see any just enbyphobic stuff in my quick perusal, but I know another Hot Topic is whether or not enbies can call themselves gay or lesbian (they can), whether or not they can be both MLM and WLW (yup, multigender and genderfluid people who are bi/pan/etc. exist! I’m one of them), and shit about nonbinary physical transition (like HRT and surgery) - they can do as much or as little as they want, it’s their bodies! Coincidentally, their AGAB and choice vis a vis transition has no impact on the previous points

This has gotten way off-topic (I guess? There’s no real question in your ask, I’m kinda guessing what it is you’re expecting as a response) but fuck it - queer experiences with gender and sexuality are a Big Interest of mine for many, many reasons, and I find it fascinating to see how different people conceptualize it, I really do! 

I also wish people could have these varying ideas and not be world class shitheads to those who disagree with them. 

[queerascat]

i found an old post about a poc ace and went on their blog and they know say they don't identify as ace because aces are bad, basically. and like, i'm literally crying. idk what to do, that just really struck me. someone who wrote about being queer, ace and a poc like me shitting on me and telling me my identity is inherently problematic when it's the reason i can't access mental health atm, which is something i need cause the 'discourse' & the violent abuse i faced on this website for (cont)

(suicide ideation, death threat and conversion tw) including death threats, caused me to fall back into suicidal ideation. and the only therapist available to me suggested conversion therapy (i live in a small central american country, there’s not much knowledge about these things- she thinks if i can be converted to straight, i will no longer suffer from my orientation). this is horrible tbh. i’m sorry to unload but as another poc ace i feel safe around you. i guess what i’m trying to say is that this ‘discourse’, which is just a bunch of people thinking they can gaslight and abuse aces or call the ‘bad’ or ‘cringy’ and don’t want to have any sort of intra community discussion but literally deny us our experiences and be abusive, is harming my mental health. friends i trusted turned out to be acephobic, send me literal death threats. in what kind of WORLD is that fucking ok? idk where im going with this, im sorry. do you know of any ways i can deal with this wave of ace and aro hatred that’s spread this website? i don’t know how to go about it. and now in the spanish speaking online lgbtq+ community, enbyphobes have copied it to exclude enbys for ‘being actually cis’ and are calling us ‘cisnb’ after regs in english calling aces and aros ‘cishet’ so that’s just fucking great :( that’s because the community is only now starting to realize enbys exist. and it’s also learning that about aspecs, so im starting to hear it in spanish too. i just can’t escape it.

i genuinely feel like i’m in no place to be giving any sort of advice on things of this nature– especially right now when i’m just managing to keep my own head above water for various reasons, but…

i’d first like to say that venting has been (and continues to be) a significant part of self-care / coping for me personally and i am beyond flattered that you feel safe enough to vent your feelings to me. no need to apologize, anon. i don’t know if i can be of any help to you, but i hope that the very act of venting in and of itself has been a step in the right direction for coping for you like it often is for me.

i also want to say that i���m very sorry to hear about all of the shit that you’ve been (and continue to be) put through. while i haven’t had your exact experiences, i can very much relate to feeling like you can’t escape “discourse” or otherwise harmful ideology as both it itself and the effects of it pervades other aspects and intersections of your life both on and outside of Tumblr. not to mention how it feels to finally find that rare, illusive something or someone that you share important but seemingly less common intersections with only to discover that that thing or person contributes to the very thing that’s, for lack of a better expression, fucking you up.

…ah, yes. like those old posts by a formerly self-identified ace and queer person of color who now not only advocates against asexuality but who does so in a way that blatantly shits on aces of color by pitching them against other QPOC, among other things. that’s some fucked up shit, ain’t it?

cough. anyway… my personal coping and self-care strategies.

my go-to strategies for coping and self-care certainly don’t work for everyone or in all situations, but with Tumblr and social media-related thing in general i often try to:

remove myself from the source of the distress.

even if only temporarily for a few hours, days, a week– whatever, i do what i can to mentally and / or physically check myself out of whatever it is that’s negatively affecting me and do my best to turn my attention to other things. i go to Starbucks, read a book, clean my apartment, focus on a personal project, catch up on shows, turn off my computer and my phone and finally make myself food– whatever. i focus on things that are actually tangible and perhaps offer some form of self-gratification even if it’s just in the form of tasting good because goddamnit, the time and cost required to get a caramel macchiato is (and quite frankly should be) far more worth it to me than the time and (mental) cost spent giving a damn about someone else’s bullshit. or so i tell myself.

if the source of the distress is outside of the internet, as might be the case with a therapist, i cut that person (or thing) out of my life even if it’s just by silently breaking off communication with them by not returning their calls or not going to their therapy sessions temporarily or indefinitely. as i said above, that person / those people / that thing is not worth the time or (mental) cost required of me by dealing with them.

limit or manage my exposure to the source of the distress when removing myself from it completely isn’t possible.

i feel like this often ends up being more taxing than simply removing myself all together, but blocking / unfollowing immediately upon coming across something or someone that can potentially or does set you off is important. blocking applies to more than just people, blogs or posts but also blacklisting tags, keywords etc using something like Xkit for Tumblr, the native block & mute features on Twitter, etc. if the distress comes in the form of asks, instant messages, etc then i disable those things at least temporarily, especially when blocking an IP fails to get the job done. i also avoid browsing through tags, which can be tough when you actively want to find something to help yourself feel better about yourself / your experiences / etc…

when the source of the distress isn’t online-based, i try to manage / limit my exposure by avoiding the person or thing in question when possible. again, actively avoiding someone or something requires effort on my part and can in and of itself be taxing, so it’s not ideal… but i do what i can.

venting.

while venting is by no means The Solution to anything and comes with its own set of risks / problems when done publicly, venting can be done in so many different ways. it’s a relatively easy form of instantly relief for me regardless of how small that relief may ultimately be. whether it be tweeting, journaling (online or pen & paper), venting on sites specifically made for that purpose, scribbling feelings onto a piece of paper and then immediately ripping that paper to shreds, typing heatedly into a text document and then closing it without saving– whatever, it helps for me to take even a moment out of my day to acknowledge how i feel and speak those feelings into existence beyond just the mess that is my own head at times. even if those feelings only exist in the world for seconds before i delete or physically destroy them because Anxiety And Shit, it still helps.

but perhaps most importantly is to:

focus on the fact that no matter what anyone else says or does, i am The Authority on who i am, how i feel, etc.

i know who i am, but i also know that who i am is not the problem even when others make me feel otherwise. regardless of how i may feel about the things that i face in regards to my sexuality, my gender, my race, etc, i try to keep in mind that those things that i face are a product of the society that i live in and the people who insist on interjecting their own personal bullshit into my life. imho, this is as true of Tumblr “discourse” as it is of life in general.

while it may not be possible to escape society or shitty people all together, there is a lot more to society and life in general than the bullshit that we find ourselves faced with at times. i try my best to look beyond or through “discourse” on Tumblr and see the communities of people both on an off Tumblr who, like me, are against such bullshit. while shitty therapists and shitty people in general may rebrand and rehash the same old tired, hurtful shit that’s been said to others for forever, i try to look past that and focus instead on the fact that a lot of people aren’t like that and have actually learned from the past and and are better for it. i try to focus on a future where i will have access to competent mental health resources and care even though i do not have that now…

…….i’m not sure why i ended up writing this short novel of a post that ultimately amounts to nothing, but yeah. anon, no matter how hard things get, please know that you’re never going at it alone. there are others out there struggling, coping, surviving in spite of the same or similar things, it’s just that if hardly anyone talks about it we end up feeling alone in it, unaware of others’ company…

….which is one reason why despite the potential risks, venting publicly even in the form of anonymous asks can be worth it sometimes and i very much welcome such asks on this blog.

all the best, anon.

[kelsnotchels]

#221 truths

I’ve had a few friends ask me recently, “Why Johnlock? Why this show? Why this fandom?”

The truth is, like many of you, I found my way to the world of Johnlock because I saw it--I believed it before I knew what to call it.

From the very first episode, I felt sure that they were either intentionally or unintentionally showcasing what would be a CLEAR romantic chemistry if we were in a show featuring a hetero pair.

I saw it.

I believed it.

And as more and more episodes played out without articulating it with any real specificity, I began to ship it.

In most areas of my life, I’m a speaker. I teach and perform and act as the talking head for almost every other community I’m in. Johnlock was different. I participated mostly by reading (and liking and reblogging), but I didn’t add to the conversation most of the time.

Honestly, because I was afraid. No of, like, some horrible fate befalling me if two pretend people didn’t get together on a tv show. I was afraid that my reading of the text would be wrong. I was afraid that my gut feeling, my gut instinct, my logical interpretation was somehow askew.

None of us know what is going to happen before the end of BBC Sherlock as we know it, but many of us see this coming episode as a fork in the road. Many of us feel in our bones that if it doesn’t happen here, it might not happen at all. Not that it couldn’t, but the odds seem to diminish past this point in the storytelling convention.

So on what feels like the last few days before the other shoe drops, I wanted to put together a little something for me, and for the fandom that has inspired me so much over the past several years.

These are some truths I learned by being a part of the Johnlock community. (22.1 truths, in fact.)

I’d love to read yours too (even if there aren’t 22 of them)! Tag yours with “#221 truths” so I can find yours. 

<3

++++++++++

1. I am hungry for hope. Believing in something (even something as “small” as johnlock) feels like something bigger when I pare it down to its most basic parts.

Read the rest under the cut.

2. Learning and studying is really FUN.  (When you love what you’re learning and it isn’t for a grade.)

3. Art is something different for every person who experiences it. None of us read every single moment of every scene the same way. This one show is unique to all of us.

4. Wishing for something and having faith in something are two totally different things - I’ve shipped HARD before. Loads of times. But that’s not what this feels like to me. It is not only representative of something intensely important to me personally, but it’s also just something that NOBODY can strip from my list of Things I Know.

5. Cliques are still real, but they’re also totally natural - there are absolutely some tight circles within the johnlock community, and some of those circles are hard to “break into.” But also, that’s really okay. Connections aren’t all equal. Nobody owes you friendship because you like the same things.

6. Queerphobia is prevalent in some really subversive and sneaky ways.

7. We get to choose our family. Who we talk to every day, who we worry about, who we choose to trust. That is family. For many of us, our family isn’t whole unless we include the members who live in our computers.

8. Hard work is a strong producer of self-esteem. Digging into these episodes and doing the analysis makes us feel good. Because making order from chaos is a natural human instinct. That’s why solving puzzles is so satisfying.

9. Some people just want to tear down what you love. (an extension of the trope: People on the Internet can be Mean) - Ignoring trolls or particularly venomous anons is part of tuning out the frequencies that are harmful. We get to choose what we let in.

10. But arguing for what we believe is right is important. Knowing a personal truth is one thing, but standing up for yourself and refusing to be diminished or put down is important too. Discerning which arguments are worth fighting and which will be fruitless is one of the truest signs of maturity I can think of.

11. It can be hard/scary to do what is true for you and step away from what others expect of you. *cough* BE FREE, MY BABIES *cough*

12. The best memes make you laugh AND cry.

13. Being vulnerable to other people, especially people you don’t know, is really hard. But when you’re portraying something that you love, it is so much easier.

14. Communication is so freaking important, and it is so easy to mess up if you’re not being transparent and open and vulnerable. Actually saying the hard thing to the person you love is a roadblock some people never manage to get past. (HI BOYS TALK TO EACH OTHER KTHNKS)

15. Saying you’re untouchable or unfeeling (or a high-functioning sociopath) doesn’t make it true. It hurts to be human. It hurts to open yourself to others. But the good stuff can’t get in without an open heart.

16. Self-care is important. Eat the chips.

17. If you need something, ask for it. I have watched more people reach out to someone in need in the Johnlock community than in any other community I’ve ever been a part of. From actual financial help to social help or even just to soothe loneliness, people want to help. People are here for you.

18. We have to be willing to stand up and fight for representation in the media. There is absolutely no reason why there shouldn’t be more queer rep on our screens. (HI. that means trans rep too. That means ace/aro rep too. That means enby rep too. That means more QUEER REP.). There is no reason for us to settle for less than what cishet programming has shown for decades. If it requires a fight. Fine. We’ll fight. We aren’t afraid.

19. Sometimes you’re one of the popular kids, and sometimes you’re an unknown. It’s really okay.

20. Say what you need to say as soon as you can. We don’t always get second chances.

21. There is so much to be found in second glances, second readings, deeper investigation, third passes. There are hidden gems everywhere, but sometimes we’re not really looking for them until someone opens our eyes. But once you start looking for those secret reasons to smile, you’ll start seeing elephants everywhere.

22. Being a part of something is a gift. Be a part of as much as you can.

and of course,  .1  more:    LOVE

_______

I’ve been SO inspired by so many of you… 

Please consider this my love note:

@quietlyprim @emilociraptor @graceebooks @teapotsubtext @kinklock @huglocked @inevitably-johnlocked @loudest-subtext-in-tv @clueingforlooks @marcelock @theneckstroke @ormondsacker  @1895 @thejohnlockhell @johnlocktm @bbcromance @johnlockedness @johnnlocked @beejohnlocked @waitingforgarridebs @the-7-percent-solution