#I personally am not a fan of snapshots to the future but this was really sweet!

[insaneillusionist]

Here’s my uncut, unedited live reaction to the episode.

“Papa Titan”

WHAT THE SHIT

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING SHIT

WAIT HE HAS FUCKING STATUES OF HIMSELF IN HIS CASTLE?

HOW VAIN IS HE?

WAIT SHIT IS THIS AN AU?

LOOK AT THE WINDOW!

OH ALSO TRAUMA CAUSE SHE NEARLY DIED DOWN THERE

OH MY GOSH SHE CALLS FOR LILITH FIRST! AND THEN HOOTY! HE REALLY IS PART OF THE FAMILY.

SHE’S WEARING HER OLD OUTFIT!

AND SHE DYED HER HAIR BACK!

I HAVE MISSED HER AS AN ANTAGONIST!

ALSO WOW HER BODY LANGUAGE AND TONE CHANGED A LOT! LOVE THIS SUBTLE SHIT!

Love how none of them have lights in their eyes.

(It’s because Luz isn’t there.)

OH SHIT RETURN OF THE DADDY ISSUES!

(I wonder if Luz doesn’t have Eda and King because of magic, because she knows they wouldn’t fight her, or because she thinks she already hurt them.)

OH SHIT VILLAIN!WILLOW

Oh okay good. I thought they were retconning stuff

(Luz reading OOC fanfic)

OH MY GOD LOVE THE HEXSQUAD

ALSO THAT GIANT FUCKING NERD ALREADY SOLVED THE RUBIK’S CUBE

YES! GLOMP HER!

THEY’RE A FAMILY!!!

RAYRAY?

OH SHIT WE’RE GETTING INTO THE PURITAN STUFF!

COLLECTOR IS JUST A BABY BOY!

OKAY LOOK DAMN THE MANIPULATION IS FINE THAT SHIT WOULD WORK ON ME TOO.

ALSO COLLECTOR LOVES TITANS!

AND BELOS THOUGHT KING WAS A DOG LMFAO!

ALSO YES THE I CAN’T SAVE THEM SO I’L PURGE THEM!

FAMILY BONDING OVER TRAUMA TIME!

GROUP THERAPY? NO! CUT PUT THE MIDDLE MAN AND JUST CRY WITH EACH OTHER!

OWLBERT IS ALIVE!

Sad. Collector’s just trying their best, but it isn’t working. I mean l get it, but I hope people instill some morals in him. They must learn right from wrong.

HE BEHEADED HIMSELF LMFAO.

Also, that explains it. He views everyone else as lesser beings, except for King.

LOVE THE SMILE!

RAINE WE WILL GET YOU SOME HOT CHOCOLATE! COME JOIN THE TRAUMA CIRCLE!

Oh hey Collector took King’s words to heart!

Crying “why are you hitting yourself”

God I want a you’re trapped in here with me thing

OH THAT PERSON WAS AMITY!

Also, I retract my previous statement.

RETURN OF HIS THEME SONG!

KING THE HAMSTER!

Poor Collector, getting bullied.

OH MY GOD THEY HAVE A TRAGIC BACKSTORY

COLLECTOR’S JUST A KID.

ALSO LMAO BELOS GET WRECKED YOU AIN’T SLICK CAN’T FUCKING SKATEBOARD YOUR CLOAK WOULD GET CAUGHT IN THE WHEELS ANYWAY.

CRYING. RAINE THE LANDLORD!

BELOS GOT EVICTED!

GOING FROM AN APARTMENT TO A PENTHOUSE SUITE.

BELOS STILL HAS SIBLING TRAITS. FUCKING BIT RAINE.

RAINE BABY IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT

WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT

This looks like Elsa freezing the castle.

AMITY FINALLY INTERACTS WITH LILITH!

THE BIRD HOUSE LMAO

WAIT WHAT? I NEED TO SEE THE CLAWTHORNES TRY DIFFERENT SPORTS NOW!

NO BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!

Aww he remembers Lilith’s name!

THAT’S WHAT YOU GET, TINY NOSE! KARMA FOR EPISODE 4!

Wait did they just stay in the fucking caves?

BELOS YOU ARE DESTROYING AN ECOSYSTEM. MULTIPLE, ACTUALLY.

ANGEL/DRAGON FORM!

Belos you already tried.

WAIT. IF BELOS THINKS THIS PLACE IS PERDITION, HE WAS SENT TO PERDITION HIMSELF. GET FUCKED.

Oh shit he got Pokémon powers.

I’M CRYING THE BABY IS DOING HIS BEST.

I’M SORRY THEIR REACTION IS AN ABSOLUTE MEME.

OH SHIT OH SHIT

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?

SHE HAS TO BE FINE BUT WHAT THE HELL?

YOU CAN SEE THE FUCKING GLYPHS ON THE SHIELD! TITAN MAGIC INDEED!

ALSO OUCH THAT SHOT OF CAMILA! (Gonna have to draw more so I can work on my art skills.)

Speaking of my art skills, WHERE IS HOOTY?

IT’S THE IN-BETWEEN!

When you come up with a perfect response five minutes later (but you’re also dead)

GROM CALLBACK!

Eda’s going to brag about how the literal Titan joined her coven

SO MANY CALLBACKS!

(I need to see the Titan reacting to shit now. Entire spin-off. Let’s do it. Replace the owls and let him react.)

HE’S SUCH AN ABSENT PRESENT FATHER HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO BESIDES WATCH

ALSO EDA JUST SELLS STUFF AND SAYS THAT IT’S TITAN-ENDORSED (or well, endorsed by two Titans.)

BILE DRAIN IS REAL?

HE’S A BABY!

Princess Ivy-core shit right there.

HOLY SHIT I HAVE SO MUCH GENDER ENVY RIGHT NOW!

Eda looks so fucking derpy

OH MY GOD LOOK AT THAT

MAKES ME SO FUCKING EMOTIONAL

THEY’RE A FAMILY AND I LOVE THEM AND I WOULD PROTECT THEM WITH MY LIFE (not that they need protection at this point)

AYO THEY SOLVED THE PROBLEM OF MAKING A CIRCLE BIG ENOUGH TO END BELOS’ REIGN

OKAY THAT IS A SICK BACKGROUND

SO MANY CALLBACKS

Okay that’s so funny

Admit it she’s hot

Also RIP THE ANIMATION BUDGET THIS IS GOLD!

OH SHIT SHE LOVES HERSELF LET’S GO!

IT’S THE THEME SONG!

HE’S STILL A MANIPULATOR!

RETURN OF THE BEARD!

I’M SORRY THIS IS HILARIOUS HOW HE’S HUMAN NOW.

RIP BLONDELOS.

THE FUCKING BOILING RAIN.

GET FUCKED - SINCERELY, THE TITAN

AYO WE SAW HIS NON-FUCKED UP SHOULDER

CATHARSIS!

NO HER HAIR! (Just saying since she wanted to grow it out and she suddenly lost it.)

AWW! THAT’S SO SWEET!

YES THE SPIN HUG!

Odalia just in the corner.

THE KISS THEY KISSED!

DARIUS AND EBERWOLF!

BUMP, WITH HIS MAGNIFICENT HAIR!

VITIMIR TOO?

THE GREEN UNIFORM!

(I bet the pants have pockets and that’s why Steve still wears them)

How did a Collector and Lilith interaction go? (Also is her hood acting as a blindfold?)

More kisses! (Camila looking at the camera trying to keep it private.)

MORE SPIN HUGS!

HOOTY! (Oh damn he has nice eyelashes.)

Oh. The Collector’s leaving. (I don’t think the Archivists will help him grow up, but whatever.)

WHAT NO LUZ I’M SORRY

OH BUT SHE’S FOUND HWR PLACE NOW

(DANA AWARDED LUZ HER FUCKING SCHOLARSHIP?)

YES YES THANK GOD BABY!

KNEW IT!

ALSO AYO VEE!

AWW THEY REALLY DID FIX IT UP!

BRAXAS IS MULTITRACKING!

FLAPJACK GOT A GRAVESTONE!

HUNTER HAS A BLUE JAY NOW?

OKAY LILITH HAS THE DRIP! (AND SHE HAS EARRINGS NOW!)

(Okay I did not expect them to be cool with each other.)

SHE HAS A HARPY FORM!

RAINE WITH SCARS!

ALSO THEY FIGURED OUT HOW TO REMOVE SIGILS!

RAINE HAS A PALISMAN!

WAIT EDA’S A PRINCIPAL?

(Captain Hook drip.)

THEY SWAPPED EARRINGS! (Choosing to believe that’s how they got married.)

AWW!

OH MY GOSH THEY’RE SO CUTE!

(For the record, I did not cry.)

[enchantedgrunge]

💖 Snapshot (Idol!Hyunlix x Reader) 💖

Chapter One - The Beginning - MDNI

Paring: Idol!Lee Felix x Reader x Idol!Hyunjin (Some Hyunlix action)

Word Count: 1.6k (I hope this isn’t too long!) 🫣

Warnings: I don’t think there are many maybe cursing? And some feelings of being too much for people?? Please let me know if I missed anything!

A/N: Hello! This is my first ever written out fan fiction and I hope that it does well and is received well. Also, I am really bad a synopsis or intros so I will not be including one of those for this! If I do end up writing one, I will include it at that point and time! Enjoy! :) Oh, I want to note that Y/N speaks Korean fluently so everything she says to the kids is in Korean! If something is said in English, I will show that by having it bolded and italicized. Also, I refer to the group of them as “the kids” quite often! Let me know in a comment or an ask if you want to be a part of the taglist! Current no smut is present in this but there will be in the future MDNI ONLY. If I cannot find your age on your account, I will most likely block you! Thanks for understanding!

*Y/N POV*

You had been working as a photographer in Seoul, SK for about 2 years. You mostly did freelance photography and some bigger gigs, enough to make a name for yourself. You started to work with a few fashion brands in the past few months but nothing ever stuck or felt right. You were job hunting when you noticed JYPE was looking for a new traveling photographer / videographer for one of their KPOP groups. The name was not disclosed due to privacy reasons and wanting only serious applicants.

“Oi what the hell?” You said as you filled out the application sending over your resume as well as your portfolio. Little did you know, you were already under consideration for the position due to Bang Chan having found your work on Instagram and brought your photos to JYP saying he liked the style and thinks it would fit well for them and their next comeback.

A few days later you received an email from JYPE offering you the position you applied for and inviting you to an in-person interview. You stare at the screen in shock for a few moments unsure if this is really happening. You laugh to yourself and quickly type out a reply and scheduling your interview for the next day at 10am.

The next day comes and to say you were nervous was an understatement. You got dressed in a white sweater with a plaid pair of pants that fit your curves. You added a bag and a pair of sneakers since you do have to walk to the JYPE building.

(Y/N is a bit curvier than this in my head but feel free to picture them differently)

You arrive at the building and are greeted by a receptionist. “Hello, can I help you?” she asked with a soft smile. Her soft features were a welcoming sight. You gave a warm smile back as well, “Hi, yes my name is y/n and I am here for an interview.” The receptionist typed something into her computer and nodded. “Yes ma’am, I will let them know you are here, they will be out momentarily.” You needed and sat down in the lobby looking at your phone occasionally trying to control your breathing and doing a few calming techniques you have learned. A man comes down the hall he has a stern expression but just seems more serious rather than mean. “Hello, Mrs. Y/L/N?” You stand up and smile at the stranger, “Yes hello” you bow politely and then shake the man’s hand. “My name is Yeo-sun, but you can call me Yeo.” He leads you down a long hallway to an interview room.

“So, I am going to get right to the point Y/N, we want you to be a photographer and videographer for the KPOP group Stray Kids, have you heard of them?” Your mouth falls open momentarily before you nod. “Yes, I have they’re one of my favorites.” He nods and smiles, “Good that means you will be up to date on a lot of their information, but we still have some prepared. Basically, just a list of likes and dislikes when it comes to photos as well as video aspects.” You nod and continue to discuss the position, and everything involved, including the fact that you would be living in the same space as the kids. However, you would have your own dorm and bathroom, but you would just share common spaces like a living room and kitchen. This was to make it easier for you to film behind the scenes content as well as help with live streams and any other aspects the guys needed help in. This was also a bit of a PA job which you noticed. You could not turn down this opportunity and it honestly seemed like a fun time; you just hoped the kids were as nice in person as they seemed online.

“Are you ready to start today?” Yeo asked and you nodded. “I left my camera at home but if you have equipment for me to use, I’d be more than happy to start today.” You said as you fiddled with the strap of your bag and Yeo smiled at you kindly. “We have plenty of equipment but once you move here you will be welcome to use your own equipment.” Yeo said before standing from the conference table “follow me.”

Yeo led you out from the room and went down to the dance studio explaining to you this is where the guys should be at this time. You braced yourself giving yourself a small pep talk before you both walk into the studio. The lights are dimmed some, but Yeo turns them up making the 8 men in front of you stop what they are doing.

“Oi Yeo-Hyun why the sudden assault” the aussie leader you know as Bang Chan laughed. “Ah, good to see you too Chan, this is Y/N the new photographer and videographer.” Chan walked up to greet you. “Oh! Glad to see everyone took my advice! Hi Y/N, big fan of your work, I recommended you to the staffing agents” Chan said with a bright smile that was contagious, you found yourself smiling brightly as well. “Oh, you’ve seen my work? That is so kind of you. I am also a fan of your work.” You said with a smile causing the others to laugh and Chan’s ears to go a bit red.

“Hi I’m Han!” The man bounded over and shook your hand smiling brightly. You loved his smile; it was something you admired about him from afar. Each of the guys came up to greet you, you expected a lot of hugs and laughs which you got. However, the one person you expected to be the touchiest barely shook your hand. Lee Felix. “Hello, I’m Felix, you can call me Felix or Yongbok like some of the other members do.” He said simply and did a little bow as he shook your hand. “Hi, I’m Y/N as stated” you giggled softly at his formality, but he shied away and stood back by his members. “I hope you all come to trust me, since I will be with you and living in the same area as you.” You laughed and so did the others as they all sat down to take a breather from dancing. You looked over and grabbed some bottles from the fridge before handing them out to the guys. “Ah! Y/N you didn’t have to do that!” Chan laughed but took the bottle chugging it as they all did. You smiled brightly and just laughed fidgeting with the camera Yeo had given you before he left.

You sat down on the couch as the kids began to practice again. They were practicing for the new comeback, one you had only heard about via twitter. You were smiling and bobbing along to the music that you had not heard before. You hummed quietly and began to move around the practice space taking some behind the scenes photos that the boys could post on bubble or that could be posted as teasers for a practice room video.

*Felix POV*

He couldn’t keep his eyes off you, he was trying but it was hard. He watched as you moved around the studio taking photos and laughing when the other members interacted with you. It was like you had been with them since the beginning laughing and joking around with one another. You were beautiful. God, he was worried about showing affection to you like the other members. He normally didn’t think much about his preference to skinship, but that was before yesterday. He had overheard some other staff speaking about his over affection and how it made them uncomfortable. That was the last thing he ever wanted to do to someone. He knows what it’s liked to be uncomfortable when someone is touching or hugging on you, and it broke his heart that he made someone feel that way. So, he decided would just stay back and watch and be nice but not overly friendly.

*Y/N POV*

You felt accepted and safe with the kids despite being there for maybe 3-4 hours. The kids really made you laugh and feel like you were friends for years, however, something you didn’t expect was the distance Felix was keeping from you. You had always thought he was the most affectionate person, having talked about skinship and being one to show it more than others. He was always seen cuddling, hugging and touching the members and honestly it hurt a bit that he wasn’t that way with you. Did he not like you? Did you make a bad first impression? You tried to be respectful and kind, hopefully it was just new person jitters. Your thoughts began to spiral as you were thinking of all the mistakes you could have made.

“Hey Y/N are you a stay?” You hear Jeongin’s laugh, and it broke you out of your downward spiral of thoughts. You smiled up at him, since you were now sitting on the floor after getting some cool shots of the kids dancing. “Oh yeah I am, I’ve been following you guys since your debut.” You laugh feeling your face heat up a bit as they all look at you a bit shocked. “I uhm, really enjoy all of the work you guys put into keeping stays happy.” Your ears began to heat as Jeongin’s laugh broke your thoughts again. His smile so big his eyes were almost closed. “Oh, that's good!” he said as he sat down on the couch chuckling to himself.

Minho sat up from his position laying on the floor “Who is your bias then?” he asked with a smirk as your cheeks flared again so much you felt the flush going up your neck. “Ah I don’t think I should really talk about that.” You said getting nervous as you played with the setting on the camera again trying to stop blushing. “Ah come on Y/N pleaseeeeeeee tell us?” Han whined throwing you a bit of puppy eyes. You laughed and shook your head looking around and realizing this was going to be a fun job.

･ﾟPrevious [✦] Next [✧] Master List ･ﾟ

🩵🤍💖 Tag-list 💖🤍🩵

@telesvng

@soulphoenix1618

@amara-mars

@pullingateachotherlikemagnets​

[kyogre-blue]

Mostly finished the Wuwa 1.2 festival event, largely in one go.

I have minor nitpicks but tbh I liked it quite a bit? This is kind of annoying angle to take, but I think it's actually better than any of Genshin's festivals (that I actually paid attention to).

I don't passionately love Jinzhou, but I like it well enough. I'm an easy sell on emotional appeals in general, so I like the welfare girl squad, I like Jinzhou's NPCs and the Midnight Rangers, I like Jiyan even though he's boring, and I was quite fine with the other characters too. So seeing everyone happy, having fun, looking forward to the future was very nice. I think the little stall quests were cute enough, the NPC sections were fine and consistent with Wuwa's overall themes, and the Xiangli Yao storyline was like... better that at minimum 95% of Genshin's story quests. The guy actually emoted at the climax!

Overall, it wasn't quite enough to be called amazing, but it was pretty enjoyable. (I still have to finish getting popularity, but I doubt there's much story behind that.)

Small notes:

Leaks are saying that 1.3 will be Black Shores related and then 1.4 will the be last 1.x patch, followed by 2.0. This is starting to look more plausible after this event. There's several mentions about how Jinzhou is now going to be at peace because we stopped the Threnodian's awakening, which has a very "time to move on to the next plot" feeling.

Additionally, we have a few namedrops of the next Sentinel, Hsin. A fox, apparently. They are definitely starting to gear up to move on.

I like that you can interact with the fireworks to set them off. I love being able to press F to interact. There's also a bigger firework on the fortune stick terrace, which looks very nice.

I also love buying stuff in game. I bought all the recipes I could already. But I am disappointed that the firecrackers will disappear after the event period. Let me keep them?? (Also, let me buy a fan?? This is just rude teasing.)

I'm fine with the stall management minigame, but I kind of wish there were a few more. Like a more extensive shooting or gulpuff minigame.

Initially, I was going to say that Taoyuan village has too few decorations compared to Liyue at Lantern Rite, but it fills up as you build the stalls. It's pretty lively by the end.

There are some stalls you need to interact with daily. The fortune sticks give you an actual buff (I got increased echo drop rate today), the riddle and lottery give prizes. You can also get more of the request coupons daily.

It's kind of a hassle that you need funds to run the requests but you also use funds to do the stall upgrades. This means if you rush to do an upgrade right after you get enough funds for it (which makes an exclamation mark appear, btw), you'll end up with not enough funds to run the high tier requests. The requests don't even use the funds, you just need to have them.

The game crashed on the final cinematic, though I think I only missed the group selfie at the end. lmao, honestly

Just on a personal note, I appreciate that Pascar wasn't crazy and that his research meaningfully contributed to the world. I was almost expecting some kind of rugpull that would undercut the moment, but it really was just a good, hopeful thing. Although this is just circumstantial, he also contrasts well with Geshu Lin, who had a surface similarity in his "my goals at any cost" approach to what Pascar is initially presented as.

But dang, Wuwa faces are so pretty. The models really do look so good.

I can't believe I have to wait two more weeks to get this man. CRIMINAL

Does anyone have the welfare girl squad selfie? I missed snapshotting it...

[thebandcampdiaries]

Kuya Clint has recently released a new work: “Highschool Sweethearts”

Kuya Clint is a Filipino artist who’s currently based in New Zealand. He has recently announced a new studio album named “Highschool Sweethearts.” This is a really fantastic introduction to what the artist’s sound is all about, as it swiftly combines R&B elements with Pop appeal and other influences, including modern hip-hop. “Highschool Sweethearts” is a very diverse album, but at the same time, it actually showcases Kuya Clint’s extremely personal touch and ability to explore different styles while maintaining a very stark and dynamic flow. The production quality is consistent as well, as the record combines clarity with punch and variety in equal parts. With its 10 new songs, the album is a perfect snapshot of Clint’s creativity, and his ability to create emotional, yet catchy music that sounds contemporary, yet immediately easy to relate to.

Any fan of artists such as Grentperez, Rico Blanco, Kitchie Nadal, and Drake will immediately connect with Kuya Clint, and “Highschool Sweethearts” is a perfect introduction. It’s not always easy to approach music with such an eclectic mindset, but it seems to be a winning formula for this artist. His skillfulness as a singer, songwriter, and instrumentalist makes him stand out in the music industry, and “Highschool Sweethearts” is an amazing introduction to what his artistry is all about!

Check out “Highschool Sweethearts,” and do not miss out on Kuya Clint’s music.

We also had a chance to ask the artist a few questions: keep reading to learn more!

- What inspired you to create the album "Highschool Sweethearts," and how does it reflect your personal journey or experiences?

My album Highschool Sweethearts is inspired by my long-distance relationship that I have with my girlfriend of 7 years now that started from us being classmates in high school, which where the album name comes from.

You seamlessly blend R&B, Pop, and modern hip-hop in "Highschool Sweethearts." Can you elaborate on how you approached combining these genres and what you hoped to achieve with this fusion?

The blends of the genres came about from my music tastes and preferences. After listening to my favorite artists like Drake, Rex Orange County, and Joji, I took some of their techniques and songwriting processes and added touches to reflect my personality and authenticity, that is exclusive to the music that I make. Kind of like a "standing on the shoulders of giants" sort of thing haha.

Do you have a favorite song on the album? If so, which one is that and why?

It depends on my mood, but my personal favorite right now would be Streets. There's been a lot of songs lately that feature infidelity, casual relationships and hookup culture and this is my attempt to show listeners that being in a healthy, loving relationship is cool too haha.

Can you discuss how you developed your artistic style over time and how it's reflected in the tracks on "Highschool Sweethearts” ?

My artistic style came from the inspirations that the music that I listen to give me. It could come from the lyrics, the instrumental, and even the melodies of how the lyrics were sung. Each track on the album came from different inspirations, hence the different genres in the album.

- With the diverse styles explored in "Highschool Sweethearts," how do you envision your music evolving in the future? 

I hope that I get to condense the diverse styles in my album into a concrete music style that I could say proudly that is my own and authentic. I feel like I'm one step closing in achieving that but there's still ways to go but I am definitely enjoying the process.

- Are there any particular directions or themes you're eager to explore in your upcoming projects?

I'm planning to explore themes in my future songs that are more introspective and reflective in my life experiences, like Mac Miller, Kota the Friend, or Waiian.

Do you have any plans to tour or perform live?

Definitely! I will be performing in open mics and start planning a show to showcase my music sometime next year.

[wordsandmorethanwords]

I’m so afraid sometimes

it feels like all I am is that fear

I am the deer frozen in the headlights

I am the driver barreling on

A snapshot moment of terror

stretched out over millennia

Sometimes

I wonder if I’m ever really not afraid

If I’m just pushing it down

to conceal it from even myself

to pretend like I’m a real person

Something better than what I am

There is so much I do not know

and so much I “know” absolutely

It leaves me spinning

Spinning like the one remaining wheel of a bicycle

after a cartoon crash

The remaining force focused on just that wheel

The difference is inertia

Eventually the wheel of the bike will slow and stop

freed by the natural laws of our world

The wheel of my mind

seems only to turn faster the more it turns

not beholden to any natural law

I can almost hear it clacking along

like a ceiling fan turned up too high

sounding like it’s about to spin out of control

I can hear that high pitched whine

that makes me think

the fan will surely collapse somehow

When I think of my future

the future of my life

it’s always in the context of my actions now

and the way it feels that I will somehow

bring about my own collapse

like that minds eye view of the fan on the floor

I see my future self

rubble covering the star

I could have been

if only I had been better

if only I tried harder

if only, if only

The endless spinning making me nauseous

floating dizzily away from my present

into a future that does not exist

[bmaxwell]

My Soundtrack of Life 2 of 3

Alice in Chains - Would?

This isn’t tied to any specific moment, but this song is a perfect snapshot of my music of that time. I love this song and band. I was a depressed kid in high school (we all are, right?) and Alice in Chains really helped me through some dark times. If I were to make a list of my all-time favorite tunes, this one would be in the top 5.

Nirvana - The Man who Sold the World

I was a Nirvana fan, but never put them on a pedestal the way a lot of the music world did. Still, I remember the day that Kurt Cobain died. I remember driving home from the mall and hearing on the radio that a body had been found at Cobain’s house.

When I got home and turned on MTV, they had confirmed that it was Cobain’s body. They then played Nivana’s rendition of The Man Who Sold the World from their incredible MTV Unplugged set. That song against that news has stuck with me ever since.

Pearl Jam - Off He Goes

The transition from high school to adulthood was rough for me. My best friend throughout most of my life was going off to college at U of M, then to go work for Apple. I had no particular plans. A few months into his college life, he came back to visit. He was my same old friend in some ways, a totally different person in others.

This song made me bawl the first time I heard it, and always reminds me of that time in my life.

Mr Bungle - Violenza Domestica

All through junior high and high school, I was way into music. And that was always, always centered around drums and guitars. Mr Bungle’s Disco Volante is one of the pieces of work that broke me out of that rigid mindset.

I was enamored with Faith No More, and I learned that he was in another band called Mr Bungle. This was before YouTube and Napster, so there was no sampling to be had. I bought Disco Volante from the Harmony House and what the actual FUCK is this? This is not like Faith No More. At all. This is not...is this music? It has musical elements...

Again, I listened to a LOT of music. So I put it on in the background a lot and bits and pieces of it began to stand out to me. What hit the ear as chaos and randomness initially became deeply satisfying with continued listens. Disco Volante taught me that sometime art demands an investment of time and effort from the audience, and that can be incredibly rewarding.

Fiona Apple - Pale September

I stayed with my high school girlfriend for several years after graduation. We loved each other. We got engaged. It’s easy to look back and see that we stayed together for too long, we lost a couple of years just being polite to each other. Eventually she cheated on me, and I took my stuff and moved back in with my parents. For someone who felt anchorless and lost after school, this was devastating to me. I’m living with my parents, working a nametag job, with no plans for the future and no idea about anything and I am going to die terribly, terribly alone.

I also discovered Fiona Apple around this time, and Tidal is absolutely perfect music for wallowing in an introspective hell.

[hargrieve]

hargrieve’s fic recs – march

thank you @ravenclawboys for a bunch of great recs!

this month I am reading ✨ art fic ✨  — the kind of writing that squeezes the breath from you and makes you bawl with the way it quietly, devastatingly reaches inside and tugs. on the other hand, i’ve also read a lot of fic that is lighthearted and sweet and fun. so from now on I’m going to be sorting these by fandom as well as genre! hope it helps you find something new (and wonderful) to read. as usual, ships are all over the place: i think that every single one of these features a diff pairing lmao

FANDOMS: HAIKYUU!!

beautiful long one-shots that made me cry:

hiraeth by @skiecas

kagehina; rated Gen; 30k words; 1/1

karasuno first-years in their third year, a month before their graduation

lots of talking about the present and future; lots of pining but they don’t realize they’re pining

made me kind of sad and reflective to be honest but that’s the mark of a good fic, right

I wish to live in a world by hatsuna

sakuatsu with komori pov; rated T+; 25k words; 1/1

komori’s perspective of sakuatsu relationship from high school to college/v.league. canon and timeskip compliant. hoshiumi cameo!

komori motoya’s perspective on growing up and watching other people fall in love and loneliness and volleyball as a way of living

when I say this fic made me cry, I mean that it made me lie in bed and SOB for ten minutes. holy shit (maybe I projected too hard) completely worth reading, especially if you love komori motoya as much as I do

venus 金星 planet of love series by fatal

kunimi/kageyama; rated M; varying lengths but 28k total; 3 fics, series complete

timeskip kunikage, fwb but they are kind of in love. past sakusa/kunimi in the second part

actually this is a series and they are all published separately. the first one is fairly short and the next two are longer

in which ao3 user fatal ripped out my heart and didn’t give it back. I keep saying this for every fic but I really, really mean it when I say this writing is breathtaking and spectacular and devastating. if you are in the mood for kunikage Angst with capital A, I cannot recommend this enough

it was 3:30 am and I sobbed through this fic in bed. didn’t think it was possible to cry so hard over a metaphor. if you read this and want to talk about it my DMs are open. PLEASE I am desperate to talk to anybody about it oh my god

gorgeous shorter one-shots:

birdcatcher, starcatcher by daedalust

hirugami/hoshiumi; not rated; 3k words; 1/1

soft and tender hiruhoshi, the difficulties they each deal with, and how they help each other through them

gorgeous writing and beautiful bird metaphors

i may be talkin’ out of place by harvestingrice

kita shinsuke/sawamura daichi; rated Gen; 2k words; 1/1

kita and daichi encounter each other in tokyo the night after the inarizaki loss

super underrated fic; def recommend bc it is short and introspective

say tomorrow doesn’t come by rooted

ushijima/sakusa; rated T+; 3k words; 1/1

eight years of snapshots of the yearning in the relationship between sakusa and ushijima

ushijima’s “complete and uncomplicated love”

not a long fic but every single word is there for a purpose. so, so beautiful

lighter fics I enjoyed very much:

fingertip pushups by asynchrony

koganegawa-centric; rated Gen; 2k words; 1/1

koganegawa tries to improve himself and talks to his teammates :)

literally the cutest thing i want to give koganegawa a hug so bad

Come On Home by @prideandpre-judas​

osayama; rated T+; 10k words; 2/2

this is a sequel to this fic, which I recommended last month!

domestic osayama + atsuhina crumbs + krsn first-years

very enjoyable and dynamics impeccable again :)

Hot Girl Shit by Systemic

suna/komori + side sakuatsu; rated Gen; 3k words; 1/1

timeskip texting/social media fic in which suna and komori try to get sakusa and atsumu together

dumbasses who are bad at communication + lots of kaomoji usage that made me smile

No Big Deal by sifuhotman

akagi michinari/ginjima hitoshi; rated T+; 14k words; 1/1

part of subtle inarizaki things series, which I recommended last month

akagi and gin are roommates who boink!

if you follow me on twitter, you know that I am a MASSIVE akagi michinari fan. I am simply spreading akagin agenda over here too on tumblr dot com

other chapter fic & series i’ve recommended before that have been updated:

miserability — tsukkiyama

Unfortunately No (But Actually Yes) — tananoya. they just wrapped this one up and there’s a side one-shot in the series!

my fic (feels weird to boost my own fic whoops)

come on and jump (i dare you) — akagin

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I still have no idea if people actually look at these posts! I know I say this every single month but if I can get even one person to read one of these fics, then it feels like a success :) FIC WRITERS DESERVE SO MUCH RECOGNITION

i’m more active on twitter if you ever want to talk about fic

give me a rec (you can even bump your own fic!)

[aerialflight]

Fic Recs (mostly Naruto cause I read too many good fics in the fandom and now I'm in hell)

[Naruto]

Spirit-Touched by phooykazooi

Once upon a time, the Haruno clan were priests. It was said that they were spirit-touched, and that they walked among the downtrodden and the poor, and did not bow to royalty.

Or, an AU in which Sakura can see spirits.

Part 1 of The Realms Between

(Really, and I mean REALLY fantastic Shikamaru & Sakura friendship! Fantastic, beautiful writing, and such good worldbuilding, god, and the Haruno family is so badass!! Sakura and everything she does makes me want to scream!! Please read!)

Final Evaluation by Do_the_Cool_Whip

Progress evaluations are one-on-one consultation meetings between academy students and their teacher. Their purpose is to inform academy students of their strengths and weaknesses and guide them down their ideal path to becoming a strong shinobi. Upon graduating the academy and passing their jounin-sensei test, new genin return to the academy for one final consultation. (Or: The story of what happens when Umino Iruka uses his final meetings with his students as way to send them off to become the best shinobi they can possibly be.)

(Iruka! Is! The! Best! Teacher! Ever! End of story!!! Great interpretation of all the characters and their capabilities and I am so so excited for the sequel that will undoubtedly come! XD)

Celestial Bodies by Oceanbreeze7

Sasuke looked at the fire, eyes glowing red as the mutated corrupted seal on his throat. "Amaterasu blessed me. I see things. Like you with two normal eyes and the Hokage. And Sakura with a seal on her forehead. And I run Chidori through Naruto's heart. I keep trying to kill him. Over and over. And that knuckleheaded idiot never gives up.”

(Don't you get it? I saw it. The moon will bleed, the nations will die. The world is going to end.)

Part 1 of Celestial Bodies and Anomalies

(I swear, this fic freaking elevated my expectations on Sasuke-centric fics in general holy hell. Also, read the fucking sequel after this cause EVERYTHING GOES NUTS AND THE PLOT GOES OFF AND I'M HERE FOR THIS SHIT. Fucking Uchihas man. Also, you wouldn't think this series is funny, but it is, and it's amazing.)

A step to the left (and right off the cliff) by weavingBlue

Team Seven starts off on a different foot and Sasuke's canonical journey to get stronger goes off the rails a bit. It all works out though. Probably.

(This fic went in a direction I didn't expect and it's GLORIOUS. SO FUNNY, I honestly was dying while I was reading this. Please give this a chance!!)

promises by BombsAreForBabies

It's her first kiss and Naruto's last. She promises him that she will bring Sasuke home. It's his dying wish, after all.

(Naruto bleeds out faster than the kyuubi can heal him.

Sakura learns that being a ninja is more than fancy jutsu and fun.

Sasuke does not know that he just killed his best friend and turned his most loyal comrade into his worst enemy.)

(Listen LISTEN I know this sounds depressing but the relationship developments and slow healing is EVERYTHING and I think it's absolutely worth it to read this. Sakura's characterization is so good and Kakashi makes me want to hug him. A lot.)

Fang Under Fang by Vroomian

"Are we sure he's really an Inuzuka?"

(The answer is no.)

-

Someone reborn as Inuzuka Kiba not only has to deal with bullshit ninja magic, but soulmates being A Thing.

(Really good self-insert fic and its platonic soulmates, not romantic! I am always here for a good Kiba-centric fic and I won't say who the soulmate is. It's unexpected but so, so good! Trust me!)

Haunt The Lonely by Tht0neGal666

(Series where Sakura can see ghosts and the Things she gets up to due to this ability. The fics are short but man, you can already see the shifting differences in Team 7's dynamics, it's great!)

Perception by Ellie_Enchanted

Naruto can sense auras, which throws everything off it's balance. Because really, with someone as open as Naruto running around and peering into the depths of people's souls, something is bound to change. In other words, sometimes all that's needed is a push. Also, Sasuke apparently glows.

(Naruto the empath changing the plot and making it Better and I am loving it!)

Crossfire by DejaVu22

Following the events of Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke never makes it to Orochimaru's hideout. Instead, he is waylaid by a one-eyed man named Tobi, a man possessing a Sharingan, a terrifying dual personality, a penchant for always being late, and a single-minded mission to stop the Akatsuki in their tracks. When Sasuke runs into Naruto again years later, he must ally with his old teammate in order to protect him from the Akatsuki, while keeping him out of the two man war Tobi and Sasuke have started against the dangerous organization.

(I honest to god can't stop cackling when I read this, the Sasuke & Obito dynamic is so freaking chaotic and Sasuke's characterization is the best thing I've ever read. This boi is a mEsS and I'm fucking rooting for him. He cares so much! There's secret identity shenanigans happening on sasuke's end and it's HILARIOUS! This is the duo I never thought I needed but here it is! *cackles insanely*)

-

[Diamond no Ace]

Echo in His Hands by SportRayne (rayningnight)

Ship: Miyuki/Sawamura

What does it mean, when you remember snapshots of your own future?

Is it your future at all, if you change it?

Would you even want to change it?

(Look I am WEAK for BAMF Eijun and time travel fics and Miyuki being a tanuki bastard, okay? Time travel fic where Eijun gets feelings of people he knew before in the future. Really good so far and am so excited over this fic!)

The path we walk by WindsOfTime

Ship: Miyuki/Sawamura

Eijun goggles at the magazine she just shoved into his hands. "W-Wakana!" "I know!" she says, beaming. "That's my soulmate!!" "I know!!" "My soulmate plays baseball!!"

(Became such an instant fave so fast it's unbelievable. I LOVE THESE IDIOTS SO MUCH! Best soulmate fic in this fandom, hands down!)

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[One Piece]

switching places by fireflywitch

Zoro is 21 and wakes up in a desert they already saved, on a ship that they burned two years ago, and standing next to a man who is supposed to be dead. Except, that can’t be right, can it?

Zoro is 19 and wakes up on a ship that’s too big, next to a robot wearing a swimsuit, and he’s supposed to fight something called a Kaido. Also, he’s missing an eye, and no one’s even a little worried about it?

(or)

Time travel is a shitshow, and Zoro didn't sign up for this.

(FUCKING HILARIOUS ZORO IS THE BEST PERSON TO SEND BACK IN TIME CAUSE HE'D BE TERRIBLE YET FANTASTIC AT IT I CAN'T MAN FIEWNOPFEW)

No Time To Crank The Sun by VIKAN

He’s surrounded by strangers, but they’re all trying to convince him otherwise. Or, Zoro faces a mysterious and relentless challenge that he just can’t wrap his head around.

(This ripped my heart open, I cried reading this my god. Please read this, the pain is so worth it and Zoro and his relationship with his crew is so good here. This reminded me why I love the Straw Hats so much!)

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[Fairy Tail]

to learn about a lucy (with a look into the future.) by るる凪 - nagi (arurun)

A watching the future fanfic.

It's currently X781, three years before canon. A group of Fairy Tail mages find themselves in a large building, with no known way out.

They sit down, and they watch the future.

(This is so much more fun than I thought it would be and I'm so happy I found this fic. This fic reignited my old love for this fandom and I hope it does for you too!)

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[Harry Potter]

sunflowers by Marnie27

One day, a young girl sits on the edge of a well. On this day, she falls in. Then the next, she’s not even a ‘she’ anymore. He’s Peter Pettigrew — doomed to die at the hands of his (betrayed) friend’s son.

Peter is selfish, bitter and brash. He’s not some fairy tale hero, he doesn’t care if everyone around him dies, as long as he lives. The marauders are annoying and childish. Survival is his priority, and he can’t afford to face distractions.

This just makes the fact that soulmates are now apparently a thing all the more godawful.

(And then another day years later he falls into an entirely new impossibility, Remus Lupin in tow, right into the third book of Harry Potter. Smack bang on the other Peter Pettigrew’s grave).

It’s confusing and graceless, and entirely something that would happen to him of all people.

(Self-insert fic where a girl reincarnates into Peter Pettigrew! And there are soulmates! And it's angsty and hilarious and Peter is an Asshole (somewhat unintentionally lol). Always a fan of biased pov fics and characters slowly improving themselves and their mental health! Cause dying! Is! Traumatic! *smiley face* Please read!)

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[Crossovers]

he's a killer queen, sunflower, guillotine by hoye

Fandoms: Fullmetal Alchemist, Harry Potter

He has to be the weirdest Hufflepuff Harry’s ever seen. Scratch that, he’s the weirdest Hufflepuff Hogwarts has ever seen.

(One thing everyone could agree on: NEVER call Edward Elric short.)

(This is peak Edward Elric and all the best things about him and I'm just having a Good Time. Friendships! Logical solutions! Marauder screentime! And so much More! *bright grin* It's a fun place here!)

[bluemoonpunch]

I just discovered your website and fell in love with your readings! I love how you give your insights and your approach to the reading. One thing I want to ask is does the group energy reading represent the energy of the group at the time of the reading, or just the energy as the group exists? This is mostly towards the Stray Kids group reading. I'm curious, because as a fan watching them from afar, I think there has been a dynamic shift among them. (1/2)

(2/2)This is not me asking you to do another reading for them though, and I also believe it's not the time yet. They are still in the middle of a shift that is not yet ripened. They are going to join a survival show with big exposure this year too, so they might drastically change as a group after that. On a totally unrelated note though, I let out the ugliest wheeze as you refer to page of wands as the Signature Jungkook' Card.

📕 Referencing:

Stray Kids Group Energy Analysis Part 1 (2018)

Stray Kids Group Energy Analysis Part 2 (2021)

A: Yes, any reading I do should be looked at as more of a "snapshot" of the state of things there at the moment of doing the reading, which is why I always provide the date that the reading was performed as well as when the reading was posted as I can sometimes do bigger readings a week or so in advance. I've done two different group energy readings for Stray Kids and there is a noticeable change between them, but, for example, before the first group reading for them I posted, I had done the reading a couple of times before that and got a lot of negativity which didn't really change that much between those first couple of readings.

It's good to keep in mind that with group energy readings, I look at what the individuals project into the group, which is sometimes a lot different from the general energetic projection of the individuals separate from the group. I then look at how those projections mix together, how they interact with each other, which can vary between conscious level interaction and energetic interaction. Then, after all that, I look at the overall projection, the general ~vibe~ of the group as a whole, how they function as a unit, what they are able to produce physically or energetically through the group projection. It can be quite complex and fluid, but there are many factors to take into consideration, so just because some things seem different doesn't always mean that things have changed in terms of their energetic balance and connection.

Of course, major changes in career or how things are done superficially in relation to their work and routine, as well as any dynamic changes with members leaving or even changes in contracts, can alter the energetic projection of the individuals and change up the overall balance of the group. So, for sure, in the future, I'll probably look into them again if there's a demand for it, but yeah, they do need some time to settle into new things before anything would come up as being different.

XXXX

Q: thank you for the reading!! I'm glad that there has been progress for them personally, that was good to see. I've been getting that vibe from them and it seemed like taehyung's core was no longer split so I'm glad that it actually isn't. I hope that even with the not-so-good energy that they'll be okay. the end of the reading had me feeling kind of 😔 it would make sense if it has something to do with any kind of enlistment. im hoping it's not disbandment. im aware it could happen but it'll still hurt lol i just want them to be happy either way =( but thanks again -Anonymous @ BMP Tumblr

📕 Referencing:

BTS OT7 2021/2022 Outlook Reading

A: Yeah, the reading was a bit of a bummer toward the end, but overall things were relatively balanced for them as individuals on a more personal level. However, I do think we're seeing a lot of that general tension now with how a lot of fans are responding to the new music, specifically their last three releases. I'm sure that's stirring up some debate and conversation behind the scenes both with the group and the company overall. So, it seems like one of those things where work-life can be a bit stressful going forward, but personal work and personal life for them can be relatively smooth and enjoyable, which can be more rewarding in the long run.

XXXX

Q: oh wow, I did not expect ur 2022 outlook to hit me that hard lol, I was hoping for something more positive for BTS but on the other hand they have been doing all this for over a decade so it's natural for it to finally come to close. still feeling emotional tho hahah -Anonymous @ BMP Tumblr

A: Same, honestly. 😥 But yeah, it tends to be a natural progression for a lot of artists that get that big, almost as if their careers grow past them and they just ride the wave the rest of the way. Still, a fascinating thing to watch play out over the years, definitely something to appreciate and be proud of.

XXXX

Q: love love love your dream and georgenotfound reading! I agree dream's reading is especially interesting, and an individual analysis on either of them would be amazing!! -Anonymous @ BMP Tumblr

Q: This might sound crazy but I read your tarot reading on DNF and remembered you mentioning Cecil? I'm watching their geoguessr stream happening live rn and just saw them go past a sign that said Cecil. I thought that was a funny coincidence -Anonymous @ BMP Tumblr

Q: Hi! All of your readings are so well written and I loved your reading you did on Dream and George and I was wondering if you could do a reading on Dream. You mentioned maybe doing one. -@glimmercherr

📕 Referencing:

How do GeorgeNotFound and Dream connect?

A: Yes, most likely I'll be doing an Elemental Alignment reading for Dream at some point and maybe I'll include some stuff about his birth chart as he has some underlying cosmic imprinting that I think is really interesting. And yeah, coincidences like that are my favorite, just the little things that pop up that seem to tie things together in a funny way, lol. I'm sure there's always some underlying meaning to it somehow.

XXXX

Can you do a mini reading on jimin and jungkook? Whether it’s more equal now? Idk maybe because I am a Pisces I have been able to read other people’s vibes (I call them ) better I am no expert but I feel jimin thinks of jungkook as like an individual grown-up but still would always see himself as a protector kinda like powder siblings too? Also because this doesn’t show up consciously Like they always seem like equal and above sand all in behind the scenes too? Can you explain or clarify if I am right? -Anonymous @ BMP Tumblr

A: Yes, things are definitely more equal now. There's a very interesting progression for them that plays out energetically and even as deeply as on a soul level, lining up with their personal development and separation from the Soul Body. Of course, with Jimin being older and having had known Kook for so long, I have no doubt that no matter what, some part of him would always feel protective of Kook, the only difference is that Kook is in a headspace now where he can be protective back, be more of an equal support for Jimin right back. And, I agree, behind the scenes when they're not performing and not "in character," they can definitely display more of that equalizing push and pull, more so reflecting their energetic connection on a conscious and physical level, which tends to show a very strong soul bond that is being supported on both sides.

If you haven't already, I recommend reading these readings in order as they can really display that development between them over the past few years:

Relationship Reading for Park Jimin and Jeon Jungkook P1 (2018)

Relationship Reading for Park Jimin and Jeon Jungkook P2 (2020)

The Internal Alignment of Park Jimin (2020)

How do Jimin and Kook connect? (2021)

[lysmune]

Promises of

      A thousand things that she believes the Demon Prince to be, and a thousand times he proves her wrong.

(Diavolo/F!Reader)

     Promises of a painful, slow death is what she believes he’ll give her, but a radiant smile dispels her fears. With liquid ambrosia for eyes and vermillion-struck hair, she’s never seen someone so intimidating, so contrary.

     “I hope your year in the Devildom is a great one!” the stranger chirps, loud and booming, and friendly.

     “Thank you,” is all she manages.

     Promises of a scornful, prideful visage  is what she believes is his flair, but he bears no ill-will towards the hubris of humanity. A thousand lights splayed below the balcony, a gaze set onto the distant future, graced by the soft glow of hope, he tells her that he wishes for peace, more than anything.

     “Don’t all you demons despise us?” she piques and he laughs deeply, sonorous in the never ending darkness.

     “Maybe, but I,” and he turns to look at her with a gentleness that she’s never thought to find in a hell-spawned man, “I find human souls, flawed as they are, beautiful.”

     Promises of friendship is what she believes would be the farthest thing possible, but when he calls her in invitation to see the black roses blooming in his greenhouse, she finds that maybe, it isn’t the most far-fetched situation.

     “Look!” he exclaims excitedly, pointing towards a small bird, tufted in crimson, its winding onyx tail fluttering as it perches itself on the flower’s stem. “It’s a black-tailed canary. It’s a bird native to the Devildom.”

     “How pretty,” she comments, watching the bird fixate its beady eyes on her before it takes off into flight.

     Lord Diavolo chuckles beside her. “Seeing such lovely things up close really does lift my spirits,” he murmurs in awe, in wonder, underscored by a melancholia she can’t quite fathom.

     In response, she presses her hand on his shoulder, humming in agreement; he simply smiles.

     Promises of gold is what she believes would catch his fancy, but his curiosity lies in the fleeting moments caught in polaroids. From swirling pink blossoms to the grin of an aquarium’s beluga, to the cascading reds of a maple autumn and a white winter’s falling snow; he finds joy in all these.

     “This is my favourite,” he notes fondly and she leans over to look at the object of his attraction. It is the simple snapshot of a summer daybreak, the first light of dawn. “The sun never rises here in the Devildom, so I’ve always been curious about it. Your world’s truly blessed.”

     How the Underworld’s Prince is so much of an optimist, she’d probably never know, but it warms her to see him so full of life.

     When he passes the picture back to her, she shakes her head and, with more than a little uncertainty, presses her fingers against his hand.

     “Keep it,” she insists. “Consider it a gift for the hospitality you’ve shown me.”

     Promises of an uneventful night is a relatively easy feat, she believes, but the seven brothers prove her wrong when she’s crowned the guest of honour. They shower her with neatly wrapped gifts, words of gratitude and a group hug so earnest it moves her to tears.

     They take turns dancing with her tonight, seven brothers gliding through seven different musical pieces. Mammon steps up into a bold, thrilling hustle; Leviathan sways with unusual confidence in a jazzy foxtrot; Satan twirls her into a fittingly passionate tango; Asmodeus sweeps her around in an excelsior schottische; Beelzebub rounds a blustering, grinning quickstep; Belphegor drifts into a draping, dreamy carousel and Lucifer, unsurprisingly, leads her gracefully into a viennese waltz.

     What does surprise her, however, is when the Prince comes up to her, requesting her for a dance. “If you’re not too tired, of course.”

     She smiles and places her hand atop his, letting his fingers curl around hers. “No, it would be my honour,” is all it takes for him to capture her breath in a slow, seamless waltz that lasts a beat longer than it should.

     Promises of a shrinking distance isn’t what she foresaw, but he is insistent in having her company, which she, admittedly, isn’t too bothered about. He greets her jovially when he meets her in front of AkuDonald’s, dressed down in a maroon Oxford shirt and beige khakis, a pair of shades completing his look; she wonders if that’s his way of avoiding attention.

     As they both stand in line, he strikes up polite conversation, questioning her how she’s been, how her classes are going, how she’s finding RAD and the seven brothers, and she is, quite frankly, genuinely surprised by how much she’s come to enjoy the entire affair. He’s about to answer when they hit the front of the line, a tired looking demon snippily asking for their order.

     Like always, she goes for the fried shadow goose AkuBurger, the six-pack AkuGizzards and a blushberry slushie. He takes a little more time deciding, but eventually settles for the Hellfire DoubleAkuBurger and a Blackburn coffee before he insistently pays for their meal. Tipping her head down in thanks, she takes the tray and leads him towards a relatively private corner in the joint where he tucks into his lunch undisturbed.

     “Do you come here often?” he prompts and she shrugs, swallowing her food down.

     “Enough,” she responds. “The food here is generally safe for me to not die from.”

     He chuckles. “Not a fan of Devildom cuisine?”

     “Just not nearly as bold to eat something with ‘Double Poison’ tacked onto it,” she explains. Catching him eyeing her gizzards, she picks one up in between her fingers and offers it to him. “They’re good.”

     Leaning forward, without so much of a warning, he takes it from her hand with his teeth and she stiffens, embarrassed, unsure if he’s being serious or just messing with her, or if he’s just dense.

     “You’re right,” he answers, happily smiling as he licks his lips, “they are.”

     She tries not to think about it too hard, simply nodding in agreement before they pass the rest of the time with small-talk, light banter and the never-ending cringe of dad jokes so terrible she has to laugh at each one. Once they’ve finished and exited the premises, he thanks her for her time today, smiling as he always does.

     “I had a lot of fun,” she gladly admits, to which he hums, pleased.

     “I did, too,” he reciprocates and then, a little less playfully, a little more seriously, “If it’s alright with you, let me walk you home.”

     “You don’t -“

     “I want to,” he assures, insists. “I enjoy your company and I’d like us to spend more time together.”

     She warms at his boldness, more evident today than any other, at the way he tentatively reaches for her hand in consent, in invitation, and she accepts it with a nod. With a smile that crinkles his eyes and a careful hold, he leads her back to the House of Lamentation.

     Promises of constant contact is something she’s sure he isn’t one to keep, especially given his consistently packed schedule, but when she’s back in the Human World, her D.D.D rings most often with his name.

     He fills her days with updates on work, on Lucifer’s increasingly baggy eyes, lamenting at how much less bright the Devildom is without her.

     “You’re being dramatic,” she chuckles as she picks up a carton of eggs. “It’s not that bad.”

     “No, it is,” he implores with a huff. “The brothers miss you, including Lucifer, even if he denies it. Teasing him is no fun anymore,” he protests and she clicks her tongue at him. There’s a pause before a sigh, then, “I’m not being honest here.”

     “No?”

     “No,” he repeats; “I miss spending my time with you, I miss being able to see you, I miss talking to you in person. I miss you; I miss you a lot.”

     She runs her fingers through her hair and oh, fuck, he really shouldn’t spring these things onto her. She’s sure he can hear her heart over the phone when it’s this loud.

     Tightening her grip on the trolley’s handle, she responds with an, “I miss you, too.”

     Promises of staying away are best upheld because they’re the smarter option, the safer option, but when she’s back in the Devildom, she‘s compelled to see him again. Barbatos directs her to his study, knocking on the door before he leaves her by the room just as Lord Diavolo lets her in.

     The wind is knocked right out of her chest when he scoops her into a tight hug and she eases into his arms, burying her face into his chest. He smells faintly of warm spice and agarwood, of a familiarity she’s sorely longed for.

     “I’m glad you’re back,” he whispers, the hint of a tremble in his voice.

     “I am, too.”

     Promises of subtlety is a given, she believes, but he hasn’t much thought for it when he clasps a golden bracelet onto her wrist. It is a simple chain, studded with tiny opals, and much too lavish for someone who’s come here as an exchange student.

     “This is a little excessive, don’t you think?” she asks, raising a brow as she fiddles with the accessory, to which he frowns.

     “Do you not like it?” he inquires and she shakes her head.

     “No, I do,” she assures, and she really does. It’s a beautiful piece of jewellery, it’s just that, “I’m not quite sure if I’m so deserving of such things.”

     At that, he takes her hand, pulling her a little closer. “You are,” he affirms softly, gently lacing his fingers with hers. “Let me be a little selfish.”

     She chuckles. “You’re being selfish by giving me a gift?”

     “No,” he replies as he levels her with a crackling, sparking gaze and her heart skips a beat. “I’m being selfish because I want you to myself.”

     Promises of indulgence are what she believes to be a demon’s domain, but he simply holds her in his arms most nights, content with the simple pleasure of having her there with him, of talking to her, of hearing her say his name without the formalities.

     “You’re not anything like I thought a demon would be,” she muses as he hugs her tighter from behind, letting her head rest on the line of his shoulder.

     He chuckles, pressing his lips to hers sweetly, briefly. “No?”

     “I expected them to be a little more ...” she trails off in search for a word, then, “churlish.”

     “I can be,” he mumbles while he lazily nibbles at her ear, patterns kisses into her jaw and the exposed column of her neck. “I’m just being polite.”

     She hums. “Maybe.”

     “You don’t think so?”

     “No,” she responds with a peck to his cheek, hand coming up to the side of his head, pulling him closer against her. “I think you’re just a touch holy.”

     His skims her skin with tongue and teeth, breaths warm, chuckling as he does. “You’re bold to say that to the Prince of Hell.”

     Promises of a Lord unshaken is what she believes the demons see, but behind all the closed doors, he bares his vulnerability to her against the starless, perpetual nights.

     “Do you want to talk, Diavolo?” she asks. He’s silent for a moment before he offers his hand to her. She takes it and he pulls her to his side, letting his arm drape down to hold her at her waist.

     Overlooking the city sprawled under him, he sighs. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing the right thing,” he confesses under his breath, the uncertainty wavering his voice. “I want peace between all the realms, but do they? Do my people?”

     "You don’t think they want that?”

     “We’re demons. War is within our very nature,” he states simply, pressing her a little closer to him. “A few of us are fallen angels, others human, but most demons were born here, and all of us are vengeful, resentful creatures,” he murmurs; she says nothing. “The fallen angels want nothing to do with the Celestial Realm, the human-turned-demons carry over their hate and the rest of us have just always had a taste for destruction.

     “For most of us, we’ve always felt like the two worlds looked at us with nothing but contempt. When Heaven smites an angel unruly, they’re punished into being a devil; when humans talk about eternal torture, we’re the very picture of it. Demons are a proud folk, we give back the respect we’ve been shown, but when everyone has only ever hated us, what is there to be but bitter? And the cycle keeps going, it has for the last thousands of centuries.”

     “I’m sorry,” is all she can offer and he chuckles.

     “Please, it’s alright,” he assures with a smile, though it’s wearied with the burdens of a leader. “I’m just ... wondering.”

     She isn’t sure what to say to him, if she can even comfort him. She’s no angel, or demon, and even as a human, she’s never been a particular occult; she’s just an exchange student who lacks understanding of the tension’s nuance.

     “Look, hey,” she starts, “I know I’m not the best person to say it, but your people respect you. They might squabble with Heaven or us humans, but they’ve put their trust in you; otherwise, in all honesty, I think they’d have just eaten me and Solomon alive.”

     He cracks a small, tiny smile at that.

     “You needed mutual agreement between all the realms for this exchange program, and you did it. If that tells me anything, it’s that they’re probably tired of all the fighting, too,” she surmises. He laughs, just barely, before he bends down to kiss her forehead, letting it linger.

     When he pulls away, he says, “Thank you, that helped.”

     “Did it?”

     He hums. “A little,” he responds, loosening his grip on her. “I need to be alone for a while, is that okay?”

     “Take all the time,” she answers. Placing a quick kiss onto his cheek, she turns on her heel and walks away. Comforting demon royalty isn’t something she’s good at, and maybe she never will be, but space? Space is something she can give him.

     Promises of ‘unto death do us part’ is tradition, the idea of a romance that spans the fire of life until it’s snuffed out by a swing of the scythe, but she believes that mortality is fickle to him. A being of a thousand years that will live on for a thousand more, and she fills in the mere potential century; a year for him is a decade for her.

     Yet here he is, knotting the string of his life to her in promise. “Make a pact with me,” he declares, bringing her hand up to his lips, kissing her knuckles as though she were royalty.

     Her breath hitches. “Diavolo.”

     “Let me be yours,” the demon pleads, yearns, longs and she’s a little taken aback by the openness of it all.

     “You don’t have to,” she says but he surges, drawing her in.

     “I want to,” he asserts, unyielding, though she’s still unconvinced.

     An act of binding. That’s what it means to be tied down to a contract, and she knows full well what the consequences are, for the both of them, should any of them trespass their terms. With the seven brothers, she did as the situation demanded, but with Diavolo, there’s absolutely nothing that warrants it.

     He seems to sense her unease, because he squeezes her hand, brings her closer. “It’ll be fine,” he assures; “Let me show you what you mean to me.”

     “I know where I stand with you,” she tells him as she raises a hand to cup his cheek.

     “Do you?” he asks in rhetoric, pressing his lips against her pulse, eyes locking onto hers. “You needn’t ask and I’d gladly give a century of my life for you, freely offer you my soul, and even if you love me less, leave me for a human, I’d regret none of it.”

     She swallows his words when he presses his lips to hers, wholly engulfed by the sincerity of it all. Gentle as always, tender as always, and none of the demon she’d thought he’d be, his hand coming up to caress her face. He leaves her lightheaded, breathless, forehead touching hers, the warmth between them near unbearable.

     “I trust you, utterly and entirely; let me show you that I do,” he murmurs and she clasps her hands behind his neck, her lips hovering above his.

     “Nothing I say will change your mind, will it?”

     He chuckles. “I’m afraid not.”

     Promises of sacrifice and loyalty, they aren’t taken lightly by the laws of a contract, but he pledges himself anyway, so readily and so staunchly she almost falters.

     In reverence, he traces the mark - his mark - that runs from her shoulder and coils around her arm, marvelling at the sight of it. “Was it painful?” he asks as he glances to her, worry underscoring his words.

     She shrugs and offers him a smile in hopes it’ll reassure him. “Nothing I couldn’t handle.”

     Leaning in to thumb a kiss to her clavicle, he chuckles low. “Sometimes I forget you’ve made pacts with the seven strongest demons here,” he says and the pride in his voice makes her chest swell.

     “Eight,” she corrects while she cards her fingers through his hair, trailing the curl of his horns, eliciting a quiet, pleased hum from him.

     “Eight,” he repeats in satisfaction before he lifts his head up to meet her and she, emboldened, enraptured, captures his lips in fervour.

     Agarwood and warm spice, she drinks the taste of him, smoky lapsang and carbon ashen. He spills her name into her mouth, once more into the spellbound night when she punctures a soft bite into the juncture of his neck, a hymnic praise that makes her feel nothing less of otherworldly. He almost - almost - whines when she pulls away, chuckling as she does.

     Under her, he’s nothing short of breathtaking, with topazes for eyes and vermillion hair, and dark skin marked by black, steeped in gold. Triangular patterns of red hiss around his throat, the newly formed pact pulsing with magic and she trails her fingers across them, enamoured.

     “You’re beautiful,” she finds herself professing and he lets out a quiet laugh, Adam’s apple bobbing under her touch, the sound reverberating.

     “I’m all yours,” he surrenders and she’s touched, honoured by the sincerity of his proclamation. “I will be until you say I no longer am.”

     “And I, yours,” she promises before she laces her fingers with his and kisses him once more.

[phantomato]

As a Voldemort fan, what do you think about the "Voldemort is my past, present, and future" line? Do you like it? Agree with it? I'd love to know!

So, I don’t normally think about specific lines of dialogue, and I took some time to do so before responding to this. Thanks for your patience!!

Reading within the context of canon

There are a couple of factors I want to keep in mind about this piece of dialogue:

It’s delivered by Diary Horcrux

It’s said as part of a villain monologue/identity reveal

I don’t bring these up to discredit the sentiment. It’s just that, in the realm of the books, we get relatively little direct interaction with either Tom Riddle or Voldemort, don’t we? Most of what we get is mediated through someone else’s memory or is a soul shard operating on its own (diary, locket, Harry mind-meld). Diary is the most coherent horcrux by far, which you can headcanon to be true for any number of reasons. I suppose he’s a useful lens into some part of Voldemort, but I am not sure I view him as a true snapshot of V at 16, more like a mix of V’s ambitions for himself, his mental/emotional state around that time, and whatever it means to be part of a soul stuck in an object for 50 years. And I don’t mean to imply that Diary has been sentient and awake and trapped, necessarily—maybe he’s dormant unless someone interacts with him, idk—but he is clearly disconnected from time, relying on the people who write to him to inform him about current events.

I suppose I’d say that the line sounds like the kind of bluster that an overconfident teenager might say, mixed with the sort of moral certainty that comes from flattening a person into a shade of themself. Adult Voldemort is more clever, and his dialogue, even when campy, has a subtlety to it in that he sounds like he’s saying things to amuse himself. Half of his conversations post-resurrection sound as though he’s not talking to anyone else in the room, and maybe that’s the cauldron-body Second Coming thing messing with his mind, but mostly I think of him as… intelligent and bored. Around someone who kept up with his pace of conversation, he wouldn’t need to be so distracted, because the other person would keep him engaged.

And, well, Diary is demonstrating the early stages of developing that skill, but he’s stuck with the mind of a 16-year-old and never gets to progress to the levels of genius that adult Voldemort reached. He thinks it’s funny (and frustrating) that this stupid child hero needs the whole “I am Lord Voldemort” thing spelled out so clearly, but Harry is… not the cleverest 12-year-old, and really, Diary, your monologue isn’t all it seems to be for all that Harry is amazed by it.

So, onto the sentiment.

Past

Personally, I much prefer a Voldemort who sees an intentional break between his childhood as Tom Riddle and his adulthood as Voldemort. I don‘t mind an acknowledgment that the potential was always there, or for him to believe that Voldemort was inevitable, but I like the agency of Voldemort deciding to live with this identity and deciding that this identity should not have ties back to Tom Riddle, or that he should get to control those ties and when they are invoked. But I’m also comfortable with the idea that he might have taken some time to reach that point, that at 16, beginning to question who he is, he might have been more comfortable erasing anything other than the Voldemort identity, especially as he was forced to perform Tom Riddle every day.

Future

I just like more fluidity to my Voldemort than this unyielding quote provides. What defines him above nearly all else, for me, is his desire to survive—and I will usually settle on the idea that if survival means preserving the identity of Tom Riddle for possible use (as in Made of Clay), then I think Voldemort would consider it as an option. This is all to say that Voldemort might ideally be his future, but… I think he’d consider Tom again if the choice was death as Voldemort or life as Tom.

Present

I’m working on a first-war Voldemort piece right now; the first chapter should go up late this week. I love Voldemort. I think he’s a fantastic character, with his own wonderful challenges both related to but separable from the idea of a middle-aged Tom Riddle. A Voldemort who has chosen to become V, to abandon the birth name and shed connections to people who knew him as such, redefining those relationships as something new, is compelling to me. There’s a particular attempt to sever himself from humanity that I think only exists when he has gone fully into being Lord Voldemort, and how humanity sneaks back into even that identity is a fundamentally interesting question. I don’t think 16-year-old Tom was presently Voldemort, though. I don’t think he truly becomes Voldemort until much later in life, and I’d bet he prefers not to relive the almost… naive joy that his teenage self took in claiming that name, given everything he must go through before he can truly live as it. He wouldn’t want to be that boy again. Mid-40s Voldemort is very happy that teenage Tom’s version of Voldemort is not his present.

[julies-butterflies]

Honestly, your writing reminds me a lot of the buffyverse. Just the perfect balance of humor and sadness and romance and heart that just feels like a vivid window into the world you've created.

God the Body...the best forty minutes of television I may never watch again. I've rewatched Willow and Tara's kiss (because I'll adore them forever), but just...the weight of it. It took me a full month to work up the nerve to watch the episode, to be ready to cry that much.

What you said about not wanting people to suffer, because of your work...It's never once felt like that for me. And I've cried a LOT while reading your work. I'll try to explain it the best I can

Grief can be so isolating, and disorienting. Your world goes topsey-turvey, supports you took for granted go flying into the abyss and suddenly it's a minefield of those glass shards. And no one's grief is identical. No two circumstances are the same. It's not possible for anyone else to know exactly how you feel, because no two hearts break alike.

Sometimes, it's because people just don't understand. Sometime's it's because they no longer want to. But some days, that feeling of aloneness can be crushing.

Then one night, I stumbled upon Let These Shadows Fall Away Like Dust. That one hit me way harder than I was ever expecting. The question of how to grieve the living, the dilemma on when forgiveness is deserved...Alex's anger, his devestation, the rawness of it all....That's my broken glass. Those are concepts I've been struggling for over a year. I'm still picking up pieces every day.

I sobbed, because it was such a relief. To see the feelings that had been scrambled up in my mind just reflected there, on my screen. The reminder I had desperately needed, that I was not alone. That even though my circumstances were different, I was not the only one trying to unravel those messy emotions.

Then again, I also read your deathfic for fun, so maybe I'm not the best judge of this. I tend to like angst. I tend to get a lot of "WHY WOULD YOU MAKE IT THAT SAD" in group chats :D

Please don't feel any pressure to respond to me quickly or anything. I never mind the wait. I'm so sorry for the rough times. Wishing that you and your family gets whatever you need to help ease your storm. Sending love and support as well.

(sorry for all the metaphors. I'm super sleepy and apparently, I resort to purple prose when tired lol)

I know exactly what you mean about Emily. I understand why people don't like her, but I just love to see her written as such a grey character. It's just so much more powerful when the love is so clearly there.

I mean, that's what a tragedy is, really. Love cut short. Grieving a future that could have been everything, if fate had not been cruel. I don't know if you know musical theater, but I like to think about the Barber and His Wife, from Sweeney Todd: the whole tragedy of that show, is that they were happy all together, and then permanently broken. How their paths keep crossing, but they never connect to heal. Never lost, but never found.

And that's the tragedy of Luke and Emily: too stubborn and too late. You find that grey area, the messiness so well, and just bring it all out so wonderfully. You do the same with Bobby/Trevor, ESPECIALLY in the horror and the wild. God, that absolutely devestated me. I'm not a big fan of horror in general, and I haven't explored the genre that much but...if all horror is like yours then DAMN, I might just have to become a fan.

This got super long (lol) so I'll wrap it up now but! THE SIC FIC QUEENS TOGETHER???? When I tell you I lost it.... all too well Bobby and what you've lost reggie in the same story are killing me. I am hooked and incredibly hyped. Loved both updates so far, and cannot wait to see where the story goes!

Oh yeah and I forget: I have to ask, do you have a fan cast of the one, the only, the incredible Keith Richards? (and that goblin is so cute!!! I really want to pet the blood thirsty monster. So badly)

Love, your totally-not-undead-pen-pal, :D

-Vampire Anon

Know musicals? Vampire Anon my beloved, I am a musical theatre bitch. Take a look at my high school graduation cap! (Anastasia is my favorite musical... something about the themes of home, love, and family, the idea of always finding a place in the world even after enduring incredible hardship, that anything is survivable with faith and love in your heart... I'm also a Romanov history bitch, and Christy Altomare is such an incredible talent and human being.) Literally, talk to me about musicals anytime!

And yeah, I definitely see your metaphor... the tragedy of The Barber and his Wife was how close they came to each other throughout the whole show, existing within reach the entire time, after being separated for so long. But it wasn't the same; it never could be. Time and trauma had changed them both into something unrecognizeable, and when they came face-to-face, they could only hurt each other. At a certain point, the ghosts of your past are meant to stay ghosts. Sure, you might want them back more than anything --- but what would it mean? What would you truly be getting back?

Luke's "back", of course, and he comes home to visit his parents multiple times... but they're not the same people he left. They're older, greyer, changed by grief... while he's just the same. A snapshot forever frozen in time, a memory crystalized in amber. You can't hold memories in your hands. You can't pull them close and refuse to let them go. Eventually, they'll slip away... and to Mitch and Emily, a memory is all their son is, now. That's what's so heartrending about the situation we see in the show, especially --- so much love still exists between all of them, but it has no place to go.

Okay, sorry, it's 3am here and I'm rambling too, haha --- mentioning musical theatre was a mistake.

I'm so glad my stories have been able to connect with you, especially 'shadows' --- that one resonated with a lot of people, more than I ever realized it would. It's not the most personal story to me... but definitely one that needed to be told, and the emotion in it... hits home for a lot of people. It means so much to me knowing that story, and Alex's internal struggle, has made people feel less alone.

I think I'm going to have a hard time looking back on that one, though. We were staying at my aunt's house for the weekend where I wrote most of it; I read a few excerpts to her, and she said she liked it. She was always interested in my writing... I kind of wish I'd gotten the chance to share more of it with her.

Like you said. Grief's a funny thing. Disorienting, relentless, and crushing.

Please just remember, though --- whatever you're dealing with, you're not alone. You don't have to cut yourself on those broken pieces... one day, you'll wake up, and realize you feel whole again. It will never feel the same, and the pain will always be there... but healing around it is what makes us stronger. You don't owe anyone your forgiveness; it's okay to grieve when you've lost something, regardless of whether death has taken them from you. Grief doesn't have to be earned, it simply has to be felt.

You'll be stronger for it, in the end. I'm sorry you've been hurting so much.

Anyways! Oh gosh! On to lighter, happier topics! Please tell me...

What are your favorite fics? (Like, my fics, obviously, which fics of mine do you just go gaga over? Please praise me or else my ego will shrivel like a worm on hot pavement.) No, okay, I'm kidding --- what are your top fics for this fandom? Like, what are the ones that really resonate with you, that you could read over and over? The JATP fandom has so many greats, but I'm always drawn back to Some Killer Queen You Are by pearlcaddy (buffyverse meets jatp!! iconic!!), Lantern's Light by thefairhero (literally the SOFTEST reggie), the sky's not empty tonight by firefall (just... devastating and beautiful in a dozen ways), and literally anything by foundfamilyvevo.

How long have you been in the JATP fandom? Who are your favorite characters? What's your favorite JATP song?

And finally, most importantly... what are your favorite musicals?

(also... since u asked... behold keith richards and tremble)

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia! I'm a huge fan of your work and deeply enjoying FFS rn, it really shows the love and care you've put into this world and characters and it's an amazing read 🥰🧡

Idk if you've actually answered this question before or if it's a bit too much? So feel free to skip it. Do you have any advice on how to write a therapist and sessions with them? And to go along with that, a therapist&patient relationship that doesn't feel inauthentic but that's a healthy one?

I've had to visit both psychiatrists and psychologists a couple of times along my life, which has almost always been a positive experience to me, but when I get down to business and want to write a character going to therapy, I fall into a bunch of the psychoanalytic clichés US films have hammered us down with, even if I'm not from an Anglophile country!

Thanks a bunch in advance!! Ilu, have a nice start of the year🧡✨

Hiya anon!

I have a few thoughts about writing therapy sessions so I’m just going to put them down in no particular order.

Firstly, I don’t actually think it’s always a good idea to write therapy in stories, and a lot of the time I avoid writing it even when a character is actively seeing a therapist. This is particularly true in The Wind that Cuts the Night where all we see of Alex and his therapist are snippets, and nothing more than that, because therapy sessions would slow down the pacing, focus and value of the story.

Where possible, characters don’t see therapists, but talk to people in a way that is therapeutic, usually with love interests or members of the ensemble cast (Augus and Fenwrel in The Court of Five Thrones, Jack and Eva in The Golden Age that Never Was, Jack and North in From the Darkness We Rise/Into Shadows We Fall, Cullen and Cassandra, Cullen and Bull in Stuck on the Puzzle). All of those characters need therapy, but writing therapy sessions tends to slow down the pace of a fic pretty dramatically, and even I had misgivings about writing Efnisien’s sessions with Dr Gary at first because I’m acutely aware of the fact that:

1. Therapy sessions can be draggy and boring 2. They often take away important emotional realisations from other characters, ruining potential hurt/comfort and character relationship development moments with your actual cast / love interests 3. Fiction is meant to be fiction, not reality. 4. A lot of therapy sessions are actually not that interesting to sit in or write or observe, which is why writers do often find themselves falling into certain cliches while writing them to make them more interesting. Even I cut out huge chunks of sessions to get to the more interesting parts, lol. 5. You can write a character going to therapy without writing the therapy. You can just choose to have the character remember bits and pieces of the session later as it’s relevant to their life. 6. Therapy is different for everyone, and some readers (myself included) don’t enjoy reading it when the therapy is a kind that doesn’t resonate or feel right.

So you really need to ask yourself why you want to write therapy specifically, because a lot of the time it gets boring or - as you point out - falls into cliched territory. Writing a character going to a doctor a lot in detail for regular injections is boring. Writing them thinking about how they have to do this in brief while their love interest is sympathetic to them getting those injections is more interesting. Writing a character suffering from an illness that they need regular injections for, with their love interest comforting them? Interesting.

Falling Falling Stars is a unique fic in that Efnisien has no one before he meets Arden, except for Dr Gary and Gwyn. If you’re writing an FFS style fic, writing therapy sessions might be appropriate. It might be worth really thinking about the kind of fics you want to write, why you want to write therapy, how that will affect your pacing, etc.

If you’re still dead set on writing therapy sessions, then I have some suggestions re: writing more realistic/healthy therapy and how to find that knowledge yourself, and I don’t really know how to shorthand some of it:

1. Get books on therapy that are designed for the therapist. These are often expensive, but sometimes libraries stock them - and university libraries in particular will often have photocopy abilities (or you can just photograph the pages you need) because these books look at how sessions should be structured. Books with case studies are ideal, since they often show dialogue chains between the client and therapist. Books that obviously deal with the mental illnesses you’re planning on writing about are the most ideal.

2. With a view to this, learn about different therapeutic modalities (for example are you trying to write psychology or psychoanalysis or both? Are you writing social work? Are you writing cognitive behavioural therapy, dialectical behavioural therapy, expressive therapies, narrative therapy, transcendental therapy?) Be aware that different modalities have different session structures and learn what they are. Wikipedia is your friend, but your closest friend will be actually acquiring textbooks on the subject. This is a pretty significant financial barrier at times, I’ve been collecting books like this on psychology since like 1997.

3. Learn about your character’s mental instabilities that require them to go to a therapist and then look up the most recommended forms of therapy for your character’s specific issues. Will they suit your character? Why/why not? Will they have a therapist who realises and switches modality if it doesn’t suit? Or will they be lucky and find someone who helps them straight away?

4. All therapy sessions have a structure to them. And therapy often has a narrative arc through the course of therapy over many sessions. They should generally have the attempt at a beginning (greeting / setting up the problem to be discussed), middle (highlighting the source of conflict or inner conflict) and end (helping the client to focus on less stressful things, possible homework assigned, and potentially talking about future work/sessions). Learn this structure. Even if you’re not writing the whole session, you need to know where in the session you’re writing, beginning/middle/end will be different tonally. Structures will be different per therapeutic modality, and a therapist that knows many different modalities (like Dr Gary) will often be using slightly different structures each time depending on the character’s mood/issue.

5. In a healthy therapist/client relationship there will be the ability to discuss boundaries, grievances and the therapist won’t be revealing much about their personal life at all (unless anecdotally it’s super relevant and even then it will be deliberately vague). This is one of those things that will - in many cases - make for more boring sessions on the page, depending on the ‘client.’ For example, if you’re writing someone seeing a therapist for the first time, it might realistically take months or years before they start showing progress or trust. That’s not interesting (there’s a reason ‘therapy fiction’ isn’t a genre), so of course it’s tempting to shortcut into more dramatic moments.

*

I would say if you’re finding yourself leaning towards more cliched or dramatic forms of writing re: therapy, your writing brain may sense that the entire scene/s may not be suited to the story, and is trying to find a way to make them more interesting to yourself and the reader. If that’s not the case, then a lot more research is needed! It’s time to sink many hours into actually understanding what you’re trying to write. This doesn’t matter as much if you’re writing unrealistic or unhealthy therapy, but it’s 100% necessary when you’re trying to write healthier therapy depictions.***

Also a couple of sessions of experience is a start, but you might want to watch or find a way to watch more therapy sessions, because you’ve missed out on experiencing longer arcs, different modalities etc. (This is where my hands on experience with 19 therapists since 1995 is actually really helpful, lmao - I’ve had close to like 800~ sessions by now, with good and bad therapists; I cannot pretend that hasn’t given me a knowledge base that most people don’t share). You can still learn that stuff via research, MedCircle on Youtube is a good place to start, since it offers 30 minute snapshots on what CBT and DBT sessions will look like etc. and has some great playlists.

Most fics I’ve read don’t do a great job of depicting therapy, but the Babes!verse series by @rynfinity has probably some of the most realistic and still really interesting sessions I’ve read as an ongoing arc. The series is long, because it needs to be re: what it’s dealing with, but it’s great, and I definitely recommend looking at another example of how an author tackles these sorts of scenes. Out of the Mouths of Babes / The March of the Damned are the two intertwined series.

I apologise if this sounds discouraging overall, or daunting, but I just want to stress there’s a reason that I’m often not writing therapy in my writing, as anything more than the occasional scene with a non-therapist, or snapshots that are reflected on and that’s it. Falling Falling Stars is the exception to the rule, and unless you’re writing an exception to the rule as well, it’s really worth reflecting on the first six points I wrote - it’ll save you a fuckton of time and research. And if you go ahead with it, I wish you well! :D

*** Also disclaimer: But I still am writing very indulgent therapy that is not beholden to being either a 100% healthy or 100% realistic depiction. The fact is, real therapy sessions are pretty boring for observers except for maybe ten or twenty minutes in the middle at times.

(ETA: It’s just occurred to me that therapy fiction does exist, esp. in the mass media, but that it is - afaik - all unrealistic, dramatised or unhealthy. But if you want to watch a great show - I highly recommend In Treatment with Gabriel Byrne, just by aware that it is depicting, for the most part, unhealthy dynamics which are more character studies than anything).

[talkfastromance4]

adore you--harry styles

a/n: erm yeah, so this is something I wrote literally a year ago. It’s an open ended ending (I have no idea where I wanted to go with it but assuming by the title...) anywho. First time posting Harry as standalone, I’ve used him as an outside antagonist in other pieces but yeah. Let me know what you think!?

word count: just shy of 2.8k

warnings: slight jealousy? it is an OC but no definitive characteristics are described

**I used my taglist from 5sos but if you don’t want to be tagged for future (maybe?) harry writings, please let me know!

•••

Harry and Selah were writing buddies. He’d found her poetry on Instagram and had been hooked by her words ever since. He’d messaged her asking if she’d like to collaborate sometime and after a day of screeching about the direct message from none other than Harry Styles himself, she responded.

 I’d love to! But I don’t live anywhere near London or LA

 Not a problem. I’ll fly you out. H

 You aren’t serious

 I am 🙂 what do you say?

 And then she was on a plane out to LA to write a song or two with Harry Styles. She was a big ball of chaotic and anxious energy. She was excited but nervous and didn’t know what in the world to expect. She’d been a fan of One Direction when they started.

She’d even seen them perform live and it was so surreal she couldn’t believe she saw them in person. And now she’s actually going to meet 1/5 of one of her favorite boybands. If she’s dreaming she didn’t want to wake up.

Once her bags were claimed she noticed a tall woman with a blond bob and a tailored suit, she was holding up a small sign that read ‘Selah Grace Clark’ with the acronym of ‘TPWK’ underneath. This must be her ride.

“Um, I’m Selah Clark,” she says shyly approaching the woman.

“Oh! Hello! I’m Maeve, Harry’s driver but now yours while you’re here,” Maeve smiles extending her hand.

“Nice to meet you, Maeve,” Selah smiles shaking her hand.

“Is this all your luggage?” Maeve indicates to the three large suitcases next to Selah.

“Yeah . . . is it too much? I’ve never been to LA and I don’t know how long I’m staying for—“

“It’s absolutely fine! Don’t worry! Let’s just get a cart so you don’t have to lug it around to the car.”

 Selah was taken to a hotel and into the nicest room she’s ever been in.

“Harry wanted you to feel comfortable in your own suite, room service accessible and I’ll be back in a few hours to pick you up and meet him.”

“Where will I be meeting him?” Selah tries to keep her voice at a normal pitch.

“At his house. He’s doing some meetings today but insisted on having you for dinner. I’ll be round by six o’clock Miss Clark.”

“Please, call me Selah or Sel, not Miss Clark,” Selah winces at the formality.

“Absolutely Selah. I’ll see you around,” Maeve winks then exits the suite.

Selah takes a look around then squeals running to the bedroom and flops onto the bed. Is this real life?

+++++

 Selah opted for a casual outfit for meeting Harry and her nerves were a terrible bundle the closer she got to his house. What if she’s a blubbering, stuttering mess and he regrets bringing her out here? She’s never met anyone famous before and now she’s meeting (and going to be writing with) one of the most famous singers in the country.

“Here we are,” Maeve announces pulling through the iron gates and into the circle around driveway.

There’s a fountain in the middle of it and unlike her prediction, his house looked very homey and inviting.

“I know you’re nervous, Selah but really, Harry’s just like a regular guy,” Maeve tries to comfort her.

++++++

Selah peruses the photographs adorned on his walls while she waits for him. They’re snapshots of his whole career, faces she recognizes of celebrities and faces she doesn’t. In each one Harry is the enigma, his charisma exudes through the photographs.

“Sorry for keeping you,” a droll voice thick as honey says from behind her.

Selah whips around and her breath is stuck in her throat. Harry Styles is walking towards her wearing tan trousers and a band tee, his hair is styled in the perfect mess. His green eyes are excited and paired with a smile she’s only familiar with in pictures.

“Hello, I’m Harry,” he holds out his ring covered hand. “And you’re Selah Grace Clark.”

“H-hi,” Selah chokes out taking his hand in hers. It’s warm and soft and strong and she can’t breathe. “And just . . . just Selah.”

“Well, ‘just Selah,’” he mocks giving her hand one final shake before releasing. “Would you like to help me with dinner? I hope you like pasta.”

“I . . .” Selah takes a deep breath and exhales her nervousness. “I love pasta.”

++++

One year later, Selah and Harry have become closer than close and she’s become one of his confidante’s and most valued co-writer. She’s been through the thick of things with him and the first time he tried recreational drugs. Her heart still flutters when she remembers what he said to her while he was high.

They were at Mitch’s place working on a song Harry had no name for and only a quarter of the lyrics, when he came and sat down heavily next to her on the couch. His green eyes were dazed but not confused as he focused on her, his long arm falling onto her shoulders.

“Y’know somethin’?” he drags out.

“What?” she humors him with a laugh.

“Your eyes right now are like the ocean with stars in them,” he lifts his left hand to her face. His fingers ghost over her eyelashes then pokes her nose gently. His own brows furrow as he concentrates on her eyes.

She’s stood from the sidelines watching him fall into his despair after what Camille did to him. It made her own heart break but she knew he had to come to terms with it on his own, she knew he could do it and he did.

Little did Harry know that her friendship ran a little deeper, had a little more love in it then she intended it to. How was she supposed to know she’d fall for him?

And now, it’s the day after Christmas and she’s pulling up to his place. He decided to have a little get together for everyone that helped with the album. She opted for a red dress, fish net tights and heeled boots.

When she opened the door his house was already filled with laughter and cheer, Christmas music playing throughout.

“There she is! And looking hotter than ever, damn girl!” Mitch exclaims coming from the kitchen with a small crystal glass that looks like it’s filled with eggnog.

“Oh stop it,” Selah blushes setting her keys on the main table where everybody else’s were.

“C’mere, you,” he grins some more pulling her in for a hug. “C’mon, everyone’s in the living room.”

He keeps his arm around her shoulders leading her into the living room where Harry’s large tree was decorated and standing perfectly in the corner. Everyone you knew were sat around on couches and chairs, even Gemma was kneeling on the floor next to Michal who was sitting on the couch.

“Look who’s arrived!” Mitch shouts.

“Mitch!” she hisses feeling embarrassed as everyone turns their heads in unison to look at her.

“Selah!”

“Sel!”

Gemma is the first to run up and hug you, touching your hair delicately praising how much she likes it.

“Want a drink?” Mitch asks.

“Please. You know what I like?”

“’Course I do,” he shrugs kissing her temple then retreats back into the kitchen.

“You look amazing!” Gemma gushes eying up her dress.

“Thank you, I love your dress,” Selah responds with a smile. She spots Harry behind her, he’s wearing a deep green jumper with faded jeans, his stubble visible even from this distance. He sends a wink her way before continuing his conversation.

Selah tries to ignore the fact he didn’t come say hi but he was talking with someone else and Harry was anything but rude. Selah let Gemma grab her hand leading her to where Michal was. Mitch joined back quickly with her drink and wouldn’t keep his hands off her.

He’s usually pretty lovey dovey with everyone once he’s gotten a little bit to drink but this was a bit more outlandish for him. Selah played along with it and she thought she saw Harry give them a look but someone walked in front of him and he wasn’t looking at her anymore.

Selah is at the food table making a plate of cheese and crackers with some fruit and mini meatballs when she smells an all too familiar cologne and an all too familiar touch on her back.

“Before you dig in, I have something to give you,” Harry says lowly in her ear.

Selah turns her head sharply then gasps when she sees how close Harry’s face is to hers. She gulps then nods. Keeping his eyes strained on her, with one hand he puts her plate down and with the other takes her hand.

He leads her through the kitchen out into the small garden joined to his house. It’s decorated with fairy lights and it smells of fresh pine, which is odd because that doesn’t grow in LA.

“It’s out here?” she scrunches her nose.

“It’s quieter, don’t you think?” he grins back at her then stops her right in the middle of the small area.

“I guess,” she sighs. “I didn’t get you anything, Harry, I’ve been so busy flying home and getting presents for everyone else I just—“

“You don’t have to get me anything, love,” he shakes his head then picks up a pretty flat wrapped gift from a bench. He places it in her hands delicately. “Merry Christmas, Sel.”

“Merry Christmas, Harry,” she smiles then rips into the gift. She gasps, her eyes darting up to Harry when she sees what the thin box consists of. It’s the newest Macbook. “Harry this is—“

“It’s not too much, it’s just enough. You deserve a good writing tool, especially with your book coming along,” his green eyes twinkle.

“I’ll pay you back, I promise!”

“You don’t payback for a gift,” he chortles. “It’s yours. Merry Christmas.”

Selah sets the gift gently down on the bench behind her then throws her arms around Harry’s neck. Her toes rise off the ground as he hugs her back, his arms tight around her waist.

“I love it, thank you so much,” she says into the collar of his sweater.

“You’re welcome.”

They release their hold slowly, his eyes flicker down while hers flicker up. The air between them fills with static, something electric hangs in the air.

“Mistletoe,” he grunts tightening his hands on her waist.

“I don’t—wait what?” she asks puzzled.

“We’re under mistletoe, love,” he hums.

“Oh?” she squeaks. “Who put that there?”

Harry smiles at her petulance reaching his hand up to cup her chin with his thumb, he rubs her chin gently stroking up her cheek.

“I think the man of the house had an agenda.”

“That’s the narcissist in him,” she hums as he leans in closer, a chuckle escaping his lips.

She closes her eyes smelling the cinnamon and eggnog on his breath. Her heart is pounding loudly in her ears as she becomes hyperaware to everything he does. His nose bumps hers then his lips are soon to follow.

There’s a small pause as he waits for her to pull away but Selah is frozen. So Harry continues connecting their lips in the softest kiss she’s ever experienced, his lips mold hers into what he wants and she’s pliant under him. Where he leads she’ll surely follow.

At the touch of his tongue slipping over hers she lets out a quiet moan and kisses him deeper. Her fingers curl into his soft brown locks like many times before when he’d be lying on her lap complaining about a migraine. This is so much better.

Harry gets more excited as the kiss continues, he parts his mouth open welcoming her soft tongue and pushes her against the edge of the doorway to the gazebo garden. Selah grunts at the impact and he mumbles out a ‘sorry’ connecting their lips again. His hands travel lower on her waist until he feels the hem of her dress and the fishnet tights.

He squeezes her thighs hoisting her in the air and her legs wrap around his waist so she doesn’t fall on her butt. A surprised squeak at the sudden movement escapes her lips and Harry smiles at her cuteness.

“I’ve got you, love,” he grins and gives her thighs a squeeze for good measure. Her legs clench around him and Harry desperately wants to take her upstairs to his bedroom and have his way with her until New Year’s Day.

“We’re not under the mistletoe anymore,” she sighs stroking his stubbled cheek and the birthmark.

“You want me to stop kissing you?” he huffs cocking his head to the side. His green eyes seem dark in the lowlight but she knows him well enough that he’s anything but dark.

“No,” she murmurs through a smile.

“All right then,” his eyes dance mirthlessly as he presses his lips to hers again.

Selah’s heart is soaring, her fingers are tingling and her lips are zinging from kissing Harry like this. It’s everything she’s wanted and more. She never wants to stop.

Until they do when there’s a loud pop of champagne from the kitchen and they break apart in shock. Selah knocks her head on the windowpane and squeezes around Harry who grunts at the impact.

“Ow,” she whispers.

“Are you okay?” he asks setting her back on her feet carefully. He cradles her head delicately, the cool of his rings feel nice on her temples as he inspects her.

“Yeah, I’m good,” she nods then giggles at him.

“What’sso funny?” he smirks.

She continues to snicker and rubs at the top of his lip. “My lipstick is all over you, H.”

He rolls his eyes. “Not my color, eh?”

“Not like this,” she snickers trying to rub it off. “You’ll have to use soap.”

“Where’d Harry and Sel run off to?” Mitch shouts.

“Your boyfriend’s gonna be mad if he finds us,” Harry grumbles tucking her hair behind her ears.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He’s been over you all night, hasn’t he?” his dark brows furrow into an angry line.

“It’s nothing, Harry,” Selah rolls her eyes. “You know how he gets when he’s drunk.”

“He wasn’t drunk when you got here,” he shakes his head.

“O . . . kay? What are you saying? You brought me out here to kiss me and stake your claim because some other guy was showing me attention?” Selah pushes him away from her angrily.

“N-no! That’s not what I—“ he closes his eyes and exhales deeply through his nose. It’s his calming mechanism.

“That’s low, Harry, even for you,” she scoffs and tries to sidle past him to leave.

“Selah Grace, listen to me,” he uses her full name grabbing hold of her wrist spinning her around. She smacks into him and tries to push away from him with her small hand on her chest.

“Let me go!”

He grabs her other wrist pinning her fighting arms against her body. He ducks his head so his eyes are level with hers.

“That was a dumb thing of me to say,” he confesses. “You aren’t something to ‘stake a claim’ on, Selah. I just . . .” he closes his eyes then opens them again with a big breath, “I did have this planned. The gift, the mistletoe, it was all a plan to try and kiss you if you’d let me. Hearing him just made me think of how he has been all over you.”

She’s fuming silently, her lips in a scowl and her eyes hard. If he didn’t know she was mad at him he’d tell her she’s adorable as fuck when she’s mad but he’ll tell her that some other time.

“And that bothered you?” she asks quietly.

He licks his lips and nods. He slowly releases her wrists bringing them up to his mouth, he kisses the soft skin inside each wrist. His green eyes pleading her forgiveness.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles on her skin.

“You’re lucky you look like a dork with that lipstick on or I wouldn’t forgive you,” she says icily. He continues to kiss up her wrist and into her palm, his eyes on her.

“And because you fancy me,” he smirks now kissing her fingertips lightly.

“Shut up,” she scoffs rolling her eyes. “Go wash your mouth, Styles.”

“Can you help me?” he grins mischievously.

She leans up kissing him quickly, his lips chase hers as she answers with a simple, ‘nope.’ With a grin she skips behind him and picks up her laptop holding it to her chest.

“Better hurry before my boyfriend sees,” she smirks then leaves him standing there in disbelief.

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[autumnwoodsdreamer]

Photographs (August 2168)

.....

Characters: Balthazar Cavendish, Vinnie Dakota, Savannah (mentioned)

Rating: G

Words: 2302

Genre: Friendship

Summary: On their first day (officially) working together, Cavendish starts to realize there’s more to Dakota than meets the eye...

.....

Balthazar Cavendish had only met Vinnie Dakota twice so far: first when he rudely barged into his student time vehicle and then the next day when fate twisted again and assigned them as partners.

It had been a week since that whole incident and today they were to receive their first (official) assignment. Vinnie suggested they carpool and drive over to the Bureau together; still nursing the bruises from the last time he was relegated to the passenger seat, Balthazar insisted he would drive.

Vinnie lived clear on the other side of the city—a 20 minute drive from Balthazar’s apartment near the east hills (well, 20 minutes by airway, but closer to 30 if traffic forced him to travel by road, as it did today). Although the prospect of a lengthy commute annoyed him, he supposed the distance could be a good thing as it lessened the likelihood of them running into each other outside of work.

As he drove, he found his spirits caught in a strange mix of both burning optimism and ice-cold dread. While he couldn’t deny that saving the day and working with a partner had been extremely exciting, that element of unpredictability still bothered him.

He didn’t like things he couldn’t control; he never had. The high regard he held for order and precision had enabled him to play piano with astounding technical accuracy and to learn and practise law with a keen certainty. When he had first shifted his attention to studying time travel, he was sure his eye for detail and reverence for rules would make him a fine agent; now, in light of recent events, he couldn’t help but wonder if it would be enough...

He reached the address Vinnie had described over the phone and decided it would be best to pack his niggling doubts away in a proverbial box and leave it on a very high shelf for the time being.

He parked on the street, got out the car, straightened his attire, and paused for a moment to take in the scene. This part of town was built well over a century ago and the majority of its inhabitants occupied that odd but plentiful bracket of the lower end of middle class. Vinnie’s apartment building stood in a row of similar, blockish structures, all of which boasted bare bricks and wrought iron fire escapes and stood somewhere between eight and twelve storeys high. Altogether, it seemed a pleasant neighbourhood but Balthazar thought it better suited to struggling artists or the blue-collar crowd rather than a Time Agent.

He found and rang the bell for the apartment listed under Vinnie Dakota. Enough time passed that he considered ringing again when the intercom crackled on and a tired voice greeted him.

“What’s up, chicken butt?”

“I beg your pardon?!”

“Oh, hey!” Vinnie exclaimed. “Mr Banana! How ya doin’?”

“It’s Cavendish,” Balthazar corrected, icily.

“Oh, right. Cavendish, banana—eh, that’s just how my mind works. Sorry. Hang on, I’ll buzz you in.”

“I can just wait out h—” he began but the intercom clicked off and the door unlocked before he could finish. With a resigned sigh, he entered the building.

He took the elevator to the seventh floor, then it was “just down the hall, take the first left, and it’s the third door to your right. Ya can’t miss it.” Well, Vinnie had been right about that: it was the only door covered in stickers.

“My friend went to Hawaii and all he got me was this lousy sticker,” lamented a disproportionate pineapple wearing sunglasses and surfing a wave. Another portrayed the Eiffel Tower with a moustache and a beret bidding “Bon voyage!” A variety of stickers brought greetings from Italy, Tokyo, Cape Town, Sydney, and other capital cities around the world (most with their old names no one used anymore, Balthazar noted). Dotted about the place were depictions of random objects like a ukulele and some kind of car, some were types of food like pizza and kebabs, but he couldn’t miss the fact that most were cartoonish caricatures of extinct creatures he had only seen pictures of in textbooks.

Distracted by the odd collage, Balthazar jumped back when the door opened without warning.

“C’mon in, Stretch,” Vinnie beckoned, bringing his hand up to just barely cover a loud yawn as he stepped aside to allow his guest in. “Make yourself at home; I’ll be with you as soon as I find my jacket.”

Balthazar glanced over his new partner’s attire and pointedly cleared his throat.

Vinnie closed the door behind them and turned around, frowning in confusion when he caught sight of the other man’s disapproving expression. He looked down and only then seemed to register that he was only wearing a faded T-shirt and boxers. “Oh. And my pants. Probably need those, too.”

Balthazar crossed his arms. “You should be dressed by now. This is highly unprofessional.”

“Hey! I am dressed!” Vinnie protested. “Just not for work. And, in the future, if you’re gonna get all high and mighty, the least you could do is warn a guy when you’re gonna be a whole hour early!”

“I am not—!” Balthazar began but cut himself off when he caught sight of an analog clock on a bookshelf. In preparing to travel to the past, he had had to learn to read those: both hands pointing down meant 6:30.

He consulted his own watch and his face went red. “Oh, blast it!” he muttered, hotly, as he started fiddling with the settings. “I forgot I had this infernal contraption set an hour ahead!”

“What? You on daylight savings time or something?”

“Pardon?”

“Daylight sa—never mind. It was a thing over a century ago.”

“I set it an hour ahead last week because of my driving test,” Balthazar explained, trying not to sound too sheepish.

Vinnie raised an eyebrow, his expression suddenly turning as serious as it had been when he saw those kids in danger. “Are you that bad at keeping time?”

He quickly shook his head. “Hardly ever; I just really didn’t want to chance being even the slightest bit late for my final exam.”

“You know there’s such a thing as too early, right?”

“I don’t believe so; no.”

There was a moment wherein he thought Vinnie was going to argue the point, but he just shrugged and waved a dismissive hand. “Like I said: make yourself at home, I’ll just be a few minutes,” he said and peeled away.

Balthazar intended to remain in the one spot; he had finished resetting his watch but still felt like a complete idiot and didn’t want to risk any further gaffes. But his curiosity got the better of him and he soon found himself wandering (well, he did have permission...)

He had to admit he held a few preconceived ideas of what the home of Vinnie Dakota might look like. He’d only met the man briefly, but he seemed rather committed to his reckless, blasé attitude and he could only imagine such a person living in a slovenly, malodorous nest.

That was not the case.

The apartment was small and cramped and cluttered, but it wasn’t dirty. There was a strong, unusual smell hanging in the air; although Balthazar couldn’t identify it, it wasn’t all that unpleasant—actually, it reminded him of those old-fashioned restaurants he used to play piano in.

The bookshelf he noticed earlier caught his eye again; this time, he took note of the colourful array of books stacked and lined on the shelves as well as the diverse collection of trinkets, souvenirs, and gadgets. The objects were displayed with little rhyme or reason regarding their order: snow-globes of all kinds and shapes mingled amongst Chinese fans and Russian nesting dolls and defunct devices such as a camcorder, a dial telephone, and a zoetrope. Balthazar didn’t fail to notice that, although most of those things would be considered antiques, they were all in fairly new condition.

After a few minutes, he took a step back and his attention quickly shifted from the bookshelf to the hundreds of photographs in mismatched frames covering the walls, so much so that one could barely glimpse the bright yellow wallpaper beneath. The quality of the photographs varied from grainy, black and white to slightly washed-out, sepia tone to clear and vibrantly coloured.

Balthazar knew his new partner had been a Time Agent for a while already; it was the Bureau’s policy to pair new recruits with full-fledged agents. But knowing this man had already been on missions throughout time and actually seeing snapshots of that career were two very different things.

Quite a few of the photographs showcased places and buildings in different time periods, positioned side by side to highlight the changes through the years; a number featured archaic machines and devices, and more of those extinct creatures (except this time they were real, not just cartoonish representations); but, most notably, the majority of the photographs were candid shots of people.

After casually examining the photos for a few minutes, Balthazar began to register a few recurrent faces. The most notable subject was a young man with olive skin, dark hair, and a short but lean frame; always wearing tinted shades of some sort, always caught in the middle of a laugh or striking a silly pose—without the wild shock of curls, it took him quite a while to identify him as a younger Vinnie. Often pictured alongside him either mirroring the silly pose or with his hand on his shoulder was a much taller, older man with dark blue hair and weathered skin; if it weren’t for the fact they lacked any physical similarity, Balthazar would’ve assumed the man was Vinnie’s father. Wherever the older man was absent, a young woman with a dark, flawless complexion and glossy, violet hair took his place—there were hardly any instances of her smiling and she didn’t seem to care for Vinnie’s antics at all but she must not have completely disliked him as there was one photo of her curled up and asleep in the backseat of a Time Vehicle with her head resting on his shoulder.

There was only one photograph with all three of them. It seemed to be after a mission of some sort. They all looked dog-tired, covered in bruises and dirt, but they still managed smiles for the camera, holding their heads up even as they leaned on each other for support. The muted colouring of the photograph suggested it had been taken somewhere around the mid-1900’s but Balthazar hadn’t honed his skills enough to pinpoint precisely when. Most of interest was a small note accompanying the photograph in the frame; it was just a scrap of paper, presumably torn from a cheap notebook and not at all remarkable save for the short message scrawled on it:

To Vinnie and Silvia,

Count every moment and make every moment count,

Emit Relevart

The Hot War Mission (1964 / 2164)

“‘Hot War’?” Balthazar read aloud, his face crumpling in confusion. “What the deuce is—?”

“It’s everything the Cold War wasn’t.”

Balthazar gasped and jumped backwards, a hand flying up to clutch his chest. “Kidney pie and chips!” he exclaimed. “Don’t do that!”

A now more appropriately dressed Vinnie gave him a sideways glance. “Well, that’s one way to keep it PG,” he remarked with an utterly infuriating bemused smirk. He let out a soft huff of a laugh and gave a small shake of his head as he returned his gaze to the photograph.

Balthazar opened his mouth, ready to say quite a few things—such as “What does ‘PG’ mean?” and “Don’t sneak up on people!”—but the words stopped in his throat.

Something flashed across Vinnie’s expression, something even the bulky sunglasses with their vibrant tint couldn’t hide; it was only there for the briefest of moments but Balthazar didn’t miss it. He’d seen it before, on the faces of complete strangers who gathered whenever he played an old, slow melody on the piano in the middle of the city square.

He turned his attention back to the picture one last time. He couldn’t quite determine if it was the people or the referenced occasion, but he got the sense this was an important piece of Vinnie. He made it a point to commit the little message to memory—what it would accomplish, well, he wasn’t so sure in that regard, but it felt too significant to miss.

Vinnie cleared his throat; the sound was abrupt but Balthazar was aware of his surroundings enough this time around not to jump again. “So,” he said, his smile and easy demeanour returning in a flash, “seeing as we have a whole hour to kill, how’s about we get some breakfast?”

Balthazar crossed his arms and put on a glare that was only half-strength. “I hope you’re not planning to kidnap me and drag me to the early 2000’s just for omelettes.”

He seemed to consider that for a second before shaking his head. “I can’t think of any good places for omelettes... not in the 2000’s, anyway. Nah, I was just gonna make something.” He whirled around and headed for the kitchen. “You like pancakes?”

“You actually know how to cook?”

Vinnie shrugged. “Eh, I picked up a few things here and there. It comes in handy when you travel to time periods that don’t have auto-preppers.”

“And yet you still felt it necessary to hijack my Time Vehicle and travel back over a century just to get lunch?” Balthazar raised an eyebrow.

Vinnie shot his new partner a lopsided smirk. “You’re not gonna let that one go, are you, Stretch?”

[rpgmgames]

January’s Featured Game: Tales From Toppletown

DEVELOPER(S): Leirin ENGINE: RPGMaker 2003 GENRE: Quest-based RPG, Comedy SUMMARY: As a reclusive critter living in the woods, your roommate Pip one day urges you to head into town and meet new people. But there exists a strange giant lurking in the mountains to the north...could this be a friend, or a looming threat?

Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself! Hello! I'm Leirin - a freelance illustrator looking to get into the fine arts. I love video games very much and this is my first time trying my hand at them. Hopefully there will be more to come!

What is your project about? What inspired you to create your game initially? *Leirin: I really liked the sort of "mental snapshot" aspect of games like Pen Pals, Very Pink Game, etc - and wanted to create something that was short, but warm and personal, too. Illustration can feel difficult to immerse people in, so giving them something directly interactive like a game is very challenging, but so far rewarding.

How long did you work on your project? *Leirin: Work began in late spring of 2018, so almost a year! (With many, many breaks to do other things along the way.)

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *Leirin: I loved the Hamtaro games for the GameBoy and wanted to implement the format of interwoven character quests. The game's map is fairly small and confined, but I hoped it could still feel lively and populated like the areas in those games do. I also love For Frogs the Bell Tolls and it influenced a lot of the overworld graphics.

Have you come across any challenges during development? How have you overcome or worked around them? *Leirin: I use a Mac, so everything has had to be run through Wine - which has its hiccups! Mainly, copying and pasting doesn't seem to work?? So if text needs to be repeated, I have to manually type it all over again. In the future, I might like to look into something more efficient, but even with the hurdles, I'm happy with how things are turning out. The other obstacle is just the fact that I am doing this all by myself, minus my two excellent composers, so it can be easy to feel overwhelmed! Just take breaks, and work on other things too - it'll help keep creative juices fresh for your project.

Did any aspects of your project change over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *Leirin: There were a few points where I wanted to increase the scope of the game - I considered having battles and a more involved story at one point - but I knew that if I turned my first project into something really big, it just wouldn't get finished. So for the most part, it's been about sticking to the original vision of a short, whimsical game.

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *Leirin: The only other people on my project are my two composers - it was initially only Dustin van Wyk, then Twinkle Park joined the project and I am so thrilled with the music they both have written for the game. Indirectly, but I have also asked friends to contribute a few characters/character designs, as I wanted this to feel like a diverse town of people. I really love what they've come up with!

What was the best part of developing the game? *Leirin: Playtesting it. There's something a little unreal about interacting with your own creations, even if they just do everything exactly as you planned. (Well, if you programmed it right!)

Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *Leirin: Yes, I do. It can feel limiting at times but when I play the other terrific things made with 2003, I realize it's still got a lot of potential in it. I'm really looking forward to the new Melon Journey that's coming out, which looks amazing!

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *Leirin: Most relatable--Waffle Boy, who is malnourished and miserable from exclusively eating food from his workplace. As for favorite...she must stay a secret for now!

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *Leirin: There are maybe certain graphical aspects that are a little too plain/pedestrian that I would do more efficiently if I were starting the game now, but I think for a first project it looks pretty ok. What matters most is getting it done.

Do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *Leirin: Everything I create more or less exists nebulously in a shared space I've termed the "Fluorescent Zone". Everyone and everything is connected, but not always directly. I might create additional material for Toppletown after its release if people want it - detailed character profiles, for instance - but otherwise, if the characters resurface, they will probably be in very different roles.

With your current project, what do you look most forward to upon/after release? *Leirin: I just really hope the game puts a smile on people's faces. It's a very simple and concise experience, but knowing that someone downloaded it and spent an enjoyable afternoon with it, or laughed at something in it, is valuable to me. And of course, I do hope people will draw fan art - receiving fan art makes me ecstatic!

Is there something you’re afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *Leirin: Again, some of the complications with creating the game from a Mac do make me worry on the technical side of things. There's also the usual catastrophes like everything getting destroyed in a fire or my laptop getting stolen, but that's the usual faire.

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *Leirin: Don't get too ambitious if you're approaching something new. Simple can still be really good and finishing something gives you the confidence to aim higher next time.

Question from last month's featured dev @torch60: What is the one biggest impression you want to leave on your players when they finish your game? *Leirin: A caring person is always nearer than you think.

We mods would like to thank Leirin for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!

Remember to check out Tales From Toppletown if you haven’t already! See you next month! 

- Mods Gold & Platinum