Restless far from a Wine Dark sea - Day 3 (rewind) hold my hand
Waking up in a PTSD attack is never fun, but Nurse Johns is here to hold his hand
Tw PTSD flashback attack, broken bones, captivity, medical whump, injury, Dead Dove Jewish vampiric whumpee, restraints
RestlessffaWDs' timeline is going off piste for @medwhumpmay
Within the first month of captivity, but not too soon.
masterlist
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Nurse Johns watched as the merman’s nose crinkled as he started to wake up, his tail fins spreading and stretching out to their full colossal size, and his hands relaxing their vice-like grip on the sheets.
Seeing a sea monster wake up was still a novelty, all the staff poised watching the creature wake.
But rather than waking with a bleary blink, the seamonster flinched violently against his bonds, heart rate rocketing as he stared at the therapist sitting next to him with wide unseeing eyes of fear.
“Hey Fogel, it's me, Elias. You're waking up, ok?”
The merman jerked against his restraints again, breath coming in short bursts as he let out an inhuman whine of fear.
“It looks like another PTSD flashback.” Logan, the other anthropologist, spoke through the comms.
“You're ok Fogal, shhhh, no one is hurting you right now, no one is going to hurt you, you are in a bed, covered with a blanket, can you feel the cotton? You're ok shh…” The therapist started crooning soft affirmations to try to bring him out of it. Nurse Johns had seen quite a lot of post-sedation flashbacks, especially being an army nurse. It was always difficult to bring them round. Poor guy.
“He's tearing at his tail wound again.” Johns spoke softly into his comms, not wanting to distract the attention of the scared sea monster.
“See if you can block access to the wounds, prevent damage,” came advice down the comms
Nurse Johns put his hand in the gap.
Fogal’s flailing hand stopped, and his fingers wrapped around the nurse's hand.
Hey, Johns was holding hands with a vampiric seamonster of lore.
Wow.
The grip shifted slightly, and tightened.
And tightened more.
Nurse Johns was abruptly reminded that the sea monster’s grip strength was incredible, and how he would blindly reach for and grab anything, even when asleep.
“He has grabbed my hand and is holding really hard…”
“I will get muscle relaxant…” Dr Orange was beside him and pulling out a tiny bottle.
“Fogel, I really need you to relax, I need you to calm down right now, and let go of what you are holding…” The therapist took on a much harsher tone than normal, trying to use an authoritarian tone to get the dissociated merman to obey.
“Hurry.” Johns gritted out. He could feel the bones in his hand start to strain and he gritted his teeth to keep from screaming, “Doc, hurry.”
The pain was intense.
“Here, here…” Dr Orange was only a moment from injecting the relaxant into the merman’s muscle when a bone in Johns’ hand broke with an audible pop.
He rode out the pain that rose in a wave and tried not to faint on the spot. The grip increased for a moment longer, til finally relaxing, allowing Dr Orange to gently unpeel the sea monster’s fingers from Nurse’s crushed hand.
“Someone help Johns while I sedate Fogal.” Orange commanded.
He managed to stumble into the atrium, before the adrenaline ran out and he fainted into the arms of the other Nurse.
a/n I had wanted to do this since I first saw the prompt, but wanted to establish the characters first.
Shout out to my mam, who waited a whole 30 seconds after breaking her ankle to faint
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Clark grows up on Amity
So! When Clark's shup landed on the Kent Farm, it unfortunately started a bit of a Fire. It was pretty bad, and by the time it was put out most of their Crops had been burned up.
Using their Savings, the money from the remaining Crops, and some goodwill from their neighbors, the Kent's managed to get enough money together to move to a new Town to start over. It also helped that in a new town nobody would question them suddenly having a Baby despite Martha not being Pregnant.
They Move to a small farm on the Edge of Amity Park.
Clark Kent grows up in Amity Park, goes to Casper High, and befriends Danny, Sam, and Tucker as his childhood friends.
When his powers come in, they are the first ones to know. When Danny has his Accident, Clark is there to help him control his new abilities. When Clark has to move away for his new Job in Metropolis, they are all there to wish him good luck and throw him a Going Away Party.
As Superman, Clark is more open to joining a Team since he used to be on Team Phantom.
When Justice League Dark is formed, Superman is a Suprise Member, since he actually had a lot of experience with the Supernatural.
When Kon is born, he turns to his best friends for help and advice on his to deal with the situation. Danny had Ellie in very similar circumstances, so he is more open to the idea of adopting Kon since he has personal experience with Clones made by Madmen.
Thoughts?
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if ur a murderbot nerd now do u have any fun opinions abt it yet?
Oh my goddd you have no idea
I really, really, really like Murderbot because it comes at life with this perspective we don't often see that is very real among people who have already been through traumatic experiences, who developed skills and abilities to suvive that were once useful but no longer have context- that search that traumatized people go through to recalibrate and reorient ourselves in a world where we no longer really need those things to survive.
A bit personal here, but my own issues personally involved a lot of psychological abuse that made it difficult to trust my own perceptions of reality, and as a result I found I was very easy to lie to and manipulate.
To handle this, I became obsessive over writing things down, cataloging details and making notes of things as they happened- I'd carry recording devices and make audio recordings and stay up late at night to transcribe what they'd picked up, read those over and over again to reassure myself of things I wasn't certain about.
While doing this, there were others close to me that I felt responsible for, who I had to protect from others and protect myself from at the same time. Life was about two things: Evidence, and defusing threats
Over time, I learned to trust myself as my memories matched what had been recorded where their narrative didn't, but I never really kicked the habit. Like Murderbot, I had added something to my own programming that reassured me I was safe, that I was in control of myself, that I couldn't be mistaken or crazy or broken or used.
I'm only on book two, but already I see myself in Murderbot again. No spoilers here, but when I left home- left that dangerous context- I didn't need to repeat these patterns to survive anymore, but I still did, because I didn't know anything else anymore. It felt safe, comfortable, knowing knowing that the past couldn't repeat itself, because I'd written that flaw- blind trust in myself- out of my programming and replaced it with something else.
Still, though, I'd become something specially suited to thrive in a very specific environment. Nothing else felt right like followinghigh-risk situations, like witnessing and watching and recording and knowing I had proof of the truth where others might not.
People took notice. I wound up in security by accident, but's an environment that I thrive in due to the same patterns and behaviours I originally developed when I had no other choice. I climbed the ladder pretty quickly, once supervisors caught on that my reports were the most accurate, most objective, most factual, detail-oriented and timely. I keep others and myself safe and prioritize public safety above all else, and I perform well under pressure
Now I'm in a position where I often wonder, do I enjoy this job, or is it just what I'm good at? I have a set of skills now, but do I have the option of choosing not to use them? What would I be, if not this? Could I be anything else?
Can Murderbot be anything else?
It has a set of skills that set it apart, make it different, special. It does what it knows best. But is it free? Does it want to be? What does it want? Does it have to do what it was built to do? What if it didn't?
I know what I'm good for. The idea of deliberately leaving what I'm good for for something uncertain, that I might hate, that I might be useless at- the choice to give up what was so important to me for so long and become deliberately obsolete?
Let go of my entire purpose? The only thing I know, that I fit so well into but don't actually know if I enjoy? Now that I can choose? Now that enjoyment is a luxury I can afford to consider?
Yeah, that resonates.
I like the Murderbot series so far because it feels the way I feel: Like the most significant and formative part of my story, the part where I became what I am, has already happened
And now I have to just. Keep going
Into... what?
It feels absurd. Like a microwave giving up on reheating food and deciding to start a life around abstract dance.
So, uh. Yeah. It's really very wild to see this same philosophical-ish dilemma I've been digging over in the back of my mind and in therapy for the last forever laid out so plainly in a genuinely exciting and enjoyable story like this. I feel much less alone, and I... kind of really need to see how it resolves, I think.
So, uh. Yeah. Read Murderbot, I guess
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so i noticed when playing the epilogue that illithid Tav wants to eat brains, but the specific part of the brain they want to eat depends on the character, so i looked through the parsed dialogue and compiled all of them!
which part of each brain a mindflayer Tav would savor:
Astarion: "Astarion's sweet brain may be less wrinkled than the rest, but you hunger for its teasing cells. His parietal lobe - which controls his sense of touch - will be an aphrodisiac in your maw."
Gale*: "You would save his temporal lobe for last, if you were to eat Gale. Language. Learning. Memory. He must have quite the fine example."
Halsin: "Every time Halsin speaks of balance, your thoughts cannot behave. You only dream of what his cerebellum tastes like, when it sends the signals to his vestibular system to keep him from wobbling."
Jaheira: "Weary Jaheira. Over time, her stresses may have shrunk her hippocampus, making its taste more intense."
Karlach: "You consider Karlach's brain stem - the stalk meant to regulate her body's temperature. Will it come pre-cooked?"
Lae'zel*: "Lae'zel's motor cortex - that which controls her fine movements - will be harshly disciplined. That will make her especially chewy - just how you like a cortex to be."
Minsc: "There are cruel rumours spread, that Minsc may once have suffered injury to his brain. You could set the slander right at last - tell the world every bite was perfect."
Minthara: "With all Minthara's hate, you wonder if her cerebro-spinal fluid will be bitter to sip?"
Shadowheart: "Think of Shadowheart's cerebellum, which controls her dextrous hands. Any ritual caster must have a tightly commanded hindbrain."
Wyll: "Wyll's frontal lobe, which processes his judgement and measured words, would be a delicacy befitting his nobility." (Or "fit for a Grand Duke" if that was his outcome.)
(*You can't eat god-Gale's or astral-projection-Lae'zel's brains.)
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