#I played ‘Never Had a Dream Come True’ at work and it fucking ruined my brain

[blueberryspyder]

Listening to Rusty Quill Gaming holiday episodes has me like

I’ve gotten into some niche shit before, but this? This is a bit much even for me

[inkskinned]

yesterday while feverish i wrote about how boats can moor next to each other like pigeons, cooing with the gentle rap of water against their hull. you once said that that the way i see things - birds in the water, feathers in marina paint - was "childish and naive." you said i'd been misdiagnosed - "it can't all be adhd. you might be just kind of stupid and lazy."

i still do certain things like how you taught me - turn the pillow case inside out before putting it on. drive defensively. hate myself entirely.

the prompt for this poem is "mahler's fifth." i wish it wasn't, but mahler's fifth was our song. it ended up in my book. every person that knows your name has promised me they'll give you one swift rabbit punch, right to the face. dean read the book and showed up on my front porch, drenched in sweat from running the 8 miles at 4 in the morning. he was shaking. pacifist and gentle - he works with children - i'd never seen him furious. a punch isn't going to do it, he said, and then said i'm sorry. i had to come to see if you were okay.

mahler's fifth was mine first, like my girlhood. i like the way each movement piles onto the next movement, each instrument bleeding into the next. i like the horn version the best. before i met you, i danced to it on grass still-wet from sprinklers.

later you would tell me that the way you heard it was somehow better. you understood something in it that i couldn't quite wrap my fingers into. once, on our anniversary, you asked the classical music radio station to play it for us. we missed hearing it because we were fighting. one of the things people get wrong about abuse is that sometimes victims are, like, brutally aware of the stupidity of our situation. what do you mean that you thought i wasn't good enough for you? you? you're just... nothing.

sometimes people can pull the poetry out of your life. i watched my words become clothesline, and then thin out into kite twine. i watched you chew through every good syllable of me. so many good songs and places and moments were ruined. i am glad you didn't like most of my music - less to tie back to you.

but still mahler's fifth. the music swells, and i am 21 and throwing up in a bathroom on my birthday. a woman i will later refer to as lesbian jesus runs a cool hand down my back, her perfect pantsuit starch-pressed. she told me to leave you. she said - and this is true, and not an invention of rhyme or fantasy - i'm you from the future.

i am 22, and i got home from an award ceremony, and i remember you telling me - you act so proud of yourself when you're actually so fucking embarrassing. i took you to disney world. you took my virginity. i gave up visiting spain for a week with my family - i instead choose you, to spend the time just-cuddling. you called it "our fuck week." the music swells. it probably should have been a red flag that for about 3 years - i just gave up on crying. my grandfather died and you said nothing. my uncle died and you ghosted me for 3 weeks. you said i need to protect myself from your ongoing tragedy.

every so often i come back to the memory of one of our last afternoons in person. i had just told you that i wasn't going to law school, despite the free ride - i was going to join a creative writing program. master's in fine arts. i was going to finally do it - i was going to follow my dreams. this blog was already internet-famous. however reluctantly, i would occasionally refer to myself as a poet. i got into umass amherst's writing program for fiction authors. it is one of the the top 5 programs in the country.

wait are you seriously considering actually attending that? dumbfounded, you turned completely towards me in your seat. for the 3rd time in our relationship, you almost crashed the car. you actually want to be a writer?

the first time i went viral, it was for a poem i wrote about you:

he wants to say i love you but keeps it to goodnight because love will take some falling and she's afraid of heights.

every time i see that, i want to throw up. you weren't in love with me, you were in love with the control you had over me. a little truth though: i am afraid of heights. you caught a rabbitgirl and skinned her alive.

mahler's fifth still makes me sick.

give me that back. give me back music. give me back everything i had before you. give me back fearlessness. give me back bravery. give me back a scarless body.

give me back what you took from me.

[ladylooch]

Odds were against us - John Marino

A/N: My submission for @wyattjohnston Winter Fic Exchange 2k24! This is the first time I have participated in a fic exchange and wow has it been really fun for me! Thank you so much, Demi, for being a gracious host and your rockstar organization!

@pcttymcrlecu I hope you love this as much as I enjoyed creating it for you. Also, I am IN LOVE with the song inso for this. I listened to it on repeat the entire time I was working on this. Thank you for sharing 🥰

Song Inspo: Solider by James TW

Word Count: 2.5k

The odds were against you. 

Well, maybe not right away. You did grow up two houses down from each other. 

But once you moved away for college, the world seemed to keep you apart as much as it flirted with the idea that you two could be together. 

Growing up, it was the Masschusettes version of the three musketeers: John, Paul, and you. There was never a Marino brother around without you. Living on the same street had great perks, like a hockey net to shoot at, a ton of legos, and endless nights spent on their backyard play set.

From the beginning, John and you had a connection. Even as his twin brother was supposed to know him the best, you always seemed to be on the same page with your buddy. For years growing up, you and John had been tango-ing with will they, won't they, before he went to Harvard and you went to theUniversity of Pittsburgh. The next three years, every time you were both home, the tango continued. Both dating other people, never wanting to ruin the friendship, finding excuses for why you could never talk about the elephant in the room. 

Then, John left Harvard after his junior year to play for the Pittsburgh Penguins. You were thrilled to show him the city! You took him to your favorite restaurants and introduced him to your college friends. It was you sitting next to his brother and his parents, in a freshly pressed Marino jersey, as he did his solo rookie lap in black and yellow. 

It was you who left Pittsburgh a year later.

While others in your major wanted to be at Google and Microsoft, you wanted to use your computer science degree for good. When the call came for your dream job at the National Renewable Energy Laboratory in Golden, Colorado, you knew you had to decide. You loved John, but he didn’t know, and it was hard to imagine a life where you stayed on the sidelines for potential. So before you decided, you nudged the situation to see what John would say when he was faced with the possibility of losing you.

“I got a job offer!” You exclaimed to him at happy hour. 

“Whoa! Of course you did! You’re so cool.” He puts his chin in his hand, giving you googly, heart eyes in admiration. He is joking, but it puts a silly smile on your face. He sits back up, taking a sip of his beer, waiting expectantly. “So tell me everything. Will you get an office? How close will you work to the arena? And can I come to have lunch with you every day because that is a requirement. We have spent too much time apart.”  Your stomach drops out of your body. You look away, taking in a heavy breath. 

“That is the one downside.” You bite your lip, then continue. “It’s not here.”

“Oh? Is it like out in the boonies or Philly?”

“No. Like Colorado.”

Surprise slaps across John’s face. Then he looks away, trying to gather himself quickly.

“But you just got here and maybe I shouldn’t go...” You trail off. You hold your breath, wanting John to say something. You know this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. But a yearning inside of you begs for John to tell you to stay with him in Pittsburgh. 

“You should go. This is everything you’ve been wanting. You deserve this.” John’s words are everything he should say, but they fucking sting. Tears build in your eyes and you nod. “I’m proud of you.” John finishes with a dainty whisper. He licks his lips, looking away. “Look at us.” He tries for a laugh but it comes out like a cough. “Both of our dreams are coming true.” 

You want to ask him why it feels like your chest is imploding?

But you don’t. 

Instead, you hug your childhood best friend while telling yourself how selfish it would be to confess you’re in love with him before you go

- - - 

Three years later, so much has changed since you hugged John on that bar stool. You have been promoted twice and received national recognition for your work in solar energy. John had rough seasons in Pittsburgh, but has found a new, comfortable place in New Jersey. Paul is with the L.A. Kings in California. You make it a point to meet up with John and Paul when John visits on his West Coast road trips. John and you connect when he is in Colorado. When you’re back home, you make the commute to Jersey and fly home out of Newark. Otherwise, you’re texting daily, sending GIFs and memes and tiktoks back and forth while keeping each other abreast of your busy life. 

You’re closer than ever. More in love with him than ever too. But how would it ever work? 

The repetitive thoughts consume you as you stir the queso you had been making for your taco night at your new home in Golden. It has been a long, competitive process to get this house, but you are so proud of it. A dream home to match the dream job that the dream boy will see tonight. 

A knock sounds on the door. The dream boy waits for you on the other side of the wood.

“Hi!” You squeal when you see John. “Welcome to MY home!”

“Uh, Ma’am, where is the owner of this home? You’re too young and single? It couldn’t be you?” He jokes, then pulls you in for a tight hug. “Thought we could celebrate.” He tilts the bottle of wine at you. It is nothing fancy. In fact, it's Cook’s, the bottle you two had stolen from your parents’ bar to have after prom on the beach.

“Let’s get this expensive gal in a nice lil ice bath.” 

“There is nothing nice about an ice bath. Or that wine.” He snorts, shrugging his coat off. 

“You can put that in the closet right there.” You point to his right. He opens the door, settling his jacket between two of yours. A warmth spreads through your body at his clothes mingling together with yours, gathering each other's scents.

“Don’t dawdle in the doorway, Johnny. Come into my kitchen!” You’re giddy as John's sock covered feet slide across your wood floors to join you in the open, modern space. 

“Gas range?” John oos and aws at all the fixtures you show him. He hypes and gasps at all the right moments. Your cheeks hurt from grinning as you become Vanna White against your refrigerator. 

“Go best friend!” He cheers as you do a little spin and dance for him. You laugh at the end.

“I’m so glad you’re here.” You tell him honestly.

“Me too. Glad we got in early.” He opens his arms for you. The weight of you settles against his chest, creating a bonded connection. John squeezes tight, his chin on the top of your head. He works you both into a sway, enjoying the weight of each other’s arms. This version of John is your favorite. The one who blurs the lines between best friends and lovers. You breathe in the fresh scent of his cologne, then wait, making him be the one to break your embrace. 

“So is there an upstairs?” He wonders. 

“There is! They gave me two whole levels!” 

“What! Scam. It’s all a scam.” 

“Look at my wall of pictures.” You point out as you head up the stairs. There is a whole gallery wall of frames and people, many of which John is in. Paul too. 

“I know these people!” He grins, looking at their decades of memories. “My favorite night.” He points to a picture. It’s the New Year's Eve you were pretty sure you almost kissed. 

“Mmm, it’s up there for sure.” You agree, waiting for him. His eyes trace the memory like he wants to burn it into the membrane of his brain. Then he turns to you, grabbing your hand and leading you up the stairs, becoming the tour guide. 

“So up here we have uh…” He looks around. “An office!” 

“Oh! And a standing desk?! She works on her fitness.” You fill in. 

“We have very different definitions of fitness.”

“I hope so, NHL player.”

“And over here,” He tugs you by your fingers. “We have a guest room. You would never have blue as your color. It is not boring enough. This can’t be your room.”

“Shut up! I love neutrals! They’re in!” You shove at him as he howls with laughter. 

“Paul’s room for when he comes to visit. Your parents and sister too.” You can’t help but notice John doesn’t include himself in that.

“Oh here we go.” He gets to your room, pushing the cracked door open to expose your favorite space in the house. He pauses in the doorway, taking it in.

Two lamps on either side of the bed illuminate the room as the sun sets behind the mountains outside. Your white walls are warmed by their dim light. The bed is made with a plush, white comforter and a light tan blanket draped along the foot of the bed. The walls had been painted the faintest of olive green. Various shades of cream and tan pillows create the look of a bed you want to jump into to mess it all up. A black and white picture of waves sliding onto a Nantucket beach is above the headboard. 

John has gone still and silent. You are nervous as he continues to look around the comfy oasis you have created as your escape from the world. You were meticulous in your quest for homey, comfort items that would dull the sometimes harsh world out there. Does he hate it? 

“What do you think?” You finally ask.

“Honestly?” He murmurs.

“Yes!” You giggle, trying to cross the distance you feel separating you.

“I wish this was our house.” 

You freeze. John keeps looking at the bed, eyes ravenous over the clean bedding like he is seeing something else. 

“I wish this was our bed.” He sighs. “I wish I was the one who got to sleep here with you because this is so clearly your dream house and I wish I was your dream man.” He stands there with his hands in his pockets, still not looking at you. This is when you realize he really doesn’t know. How does he not know?

“You are.” You whisper. 

It’s John’s turn to be still and dumbfounded. 

“You’re my dream man, Johnny.” 

You bite your lip and John rushes towards you. His hands grip your face, tugging you into his lips. Your head falls back, delirious at his mouth finally being on yours. He holds your head up, working his lips to an angle so his tongue can devour your mouth. You never want to breathe again. His tongue and lips on yours are everything you’ve ever wanted. How will you stop? 

Need takes over and you break apart begrudgingly. John rests his forehead on yours, thumbs delicately stroking your cheek bones. 

“I’m in love with you, Johnny.” 

“Good. Cause I am deliriously in love with you. And I’m sick of not telling you that every day.” You grin, inhaling heavily as tears fill your eyes. 

“How are we going to do this?” 

“I don’t know.” John sighs, gripping your face tighter in his fingers, like that will stop the rest of reality from intruding on your moment. 

“I’m scared. We live so far apart. I don’t want to lose you as a friend.”

“We’ll have to be brave, sweetheart.”

Being brave is your second act.

The next 6 months you navigate the journey from friends to lovers while trying to mitigate the 1,700 miles that separate you. A 2 hour time zone difference weighs heavily on your relationship, along with two careers that threaten to ground you before your relationship even has a chance to take off. Then the off-season comes and John decides to train in Colorado with local NHL players at altitude, convinced it will give him that next step in his game. 

The season begins again and your bed is as empty as it was before. You’re miserable. Lonelier than you’ve ever been and it spews mean thoughts in your brain at all hours of the night. John feels the same. You both discuss it openly, but neither of you have solutions for this next roadblock. Something will have to give, you both know it, but neither of you can speak it.

Right before Thanksgiving, your fist feels heavy against his Jersey City apartment door. He isn’t expecting you, but the relieved sigh when he has you in his arms tells you how welcome you are here. He ushers you in, pasting his lips against your skin as you try to set your bag down. 

“What are you doing here?”

“Accepting my job offer.” John bolts up.

“No.”

“Yes.” 

“No, babe. Don’t do this for me.”

“I’m not going to pretend it isn’t because of you. Of course it is. But this is a really good career move for me too. We can have it all.”

“Your house-” 

“-will always just be my house. I’m ready to upgrade to our house.” You lock your hands around his neck, fingers guzzling up every bit of warmth from his skin. “I know what I want to do in my life and it’s to be where you are.” John groans then hugs you into his chest desperately.

In another month, you cut those 1700 miles down to 0. You and John move into your new place together. While you’re unpacking the neutral bedroom decor he makes fun of, John walks in then pops down to one knee. 

“Can’t wait another minute.” He confesses. “I’ve been downstairs trying to talk myself out of doing it and why? For what? Because there isn’t an audience? There isn’t a photographer? Your nails aren’t done? That’s not us. This is us. So, marry me?”  Your bottom lip quivers. A blink sends tear tracks down your face as you nod enthusiastically, telling the man, who is still your dream boy, “YES” you will marry him!

The wedding is a fast plan, you need to do it in the off-season and neither of you care for anything super fancy anyway. It’s a quaint ceremony on a similar Nantucket beach that hangs above your now shared bed. You and John stare in awe as you take turns reciting written vows that may as well be a decades long love letter to each other.

“Let’s keep betting on us, baby.” John finishes. You laugh, nodding vigorously. 

When it’s time to seal the deal, John winds his hand around your waist, then tilts you down, kissing you so fully that you’re dazed when he brings you back up. 

Like it has for thousands of years, a kiss between two lovers seals your fate. 

It’s been decided.

A forever commitment.

One that binds you and John as partners, who keep bending the odds and winning anyway.

[wordstome]

i’m here to encourage you to please elaborate on singledad!könig

also, do any of their kids have any scuffles with each other? how do the parents and children deal with it?

This ask was sent 10 minutes after the dream daddy post went up. Anon, I adore you.

I was going to put single dad König in this same post, but then it started to go on and on, and I want to take my time with the second half of your ask as well, so all my König thoughts will go in a separate post. Thank you for enabling me :3

(also this is the post I lost 3 paragraphs worth of writing on. It was literally all of Price and Ghost's sections, so forgive me if they're not up to par).

Price: With three kids, there are bound to be spats. Brianna taking something of Alice's without asking, Clara ruining one of the older girls' possessions, etc. etc. People see Price with all girls and remark how peaceful his house must be, but Price (and anybody who has a sister) knows that is NOT true. The Price home is chaos interrupted by periods of peace. Luckily, their dad is a literal military captain, so he's able to whip them into shape. All manner of crying, yelling, and shrieking can be silenced with one singular "GIRLS!" from the man himself. Then after that comes the soothing and the stern talking-tos.

Ghost: I think Simon was great with kids pre-Roba, he had Tommy and then his nephew Joseph. But post-Roba and his work in the special forces, he's much more rough around the edges. Like I said in the main post, Caden is a pretty quiet kid, so I can't see him starting or getting into any trouble. But he is still a 10 year old, so I can see him throwing a fit when he's frustrated or uncomfortable. If this happens in public, Simon will pull him aside and talk to him quite sternly, especially if Caden is making a ruckus as an emotional outlet. In private, he gives Caden space to let it all out, and then talks to him afterwards. However, if Caden can articulate what's upsetting him, he's very gentle and understanding. One way or another, I can see Simon getting help with his PTSD, so he uses a lot of techniques that his therapist taught him with Caden.

Soap: I imagine Elodie as about 6-7 years older than Thomas, who is a literal baby, so I can't see that they get into any fights. Mostly Elodie getting cranky about Thomas getting all the attention, at which point Johnny has to reassure his daughter and give her some love as well. When they're older, Elodie is a classic older sister who fucks with her little brother. She's never truly malicious, but there are definitely times when Johnny's standing in front of them sighing and pinching his nose because Elodie's played a nasty prank on her brother. Johnny's a very picks-his-misbehaving-kid-up-like-a-doll-and-gives-them-a-noogie kind of parent. He's never raised his voice at his kids, but instead has an "if what I think is happening is happening, it better not be" tone that instantly strikes fear into his kids' hearts. I can hear it in my head. I know you guys can hear it in your head too. 'Nuff said.

Gaz: It's hard to say what it's like when Kyle's kids fight: I can see Violet being the sort of girl who is quite close with her younger brother, so I can't really imagine a lot of scenarios in which they would fight. But Elliott is a younger brother and Violet is a growing teenage girl, so there have probably been a few times when Violet got mad at Elliott and screamed at him or said something that she regretted. Kyle and Emily will both scold the kids when they step out of line, and they both do their part when it comes to discipline. Kyle in particular is a very "I'm not mad at you, I'm just disappointed" sort of parent. He expects a lot of Violet, but sometimes that pressure can get to her.

König: This man is overwhelmingly soft for his daughter. The calmest, most gentle giant. I think out of all the dads he's most susceptible to spoiling her, which obviously could become a problem. He's incredibly lucky though, because Ava is an angel. She is spoiled, being an only child on her daddy's colonel salary, but she gives more "kind rich girl" vibes than "inconsiderate little brat". I'm going to elaborate more on this in the upcoming König post, but he's got this deep sadness to him because he lost his wife. Ava is a pretty perceptive child, so she doesn't act out unless she's having a really hard time, in which case König is nothing but soothing and reassuring.

Horangi: If Ryujin (Hong-jin's daughter) has beef with you, he's kicking your ass right alongside her. When she was young, she was fully capable of both starting and finishing fights, and Hong-jin was an incorrigible enabler who was more likely to double over laughing than scold his daughter. Her mother usually had to be the disciplinarian. Hong-jin and Ryujin have a complicated relationship, but in adulthood, they're pretty even keel, and have grown even closer since the death of Ryujin's mom.

Keegan: Jason and Cecelia have been through a lot together, so they don't really fight. When they do though, it's nasty, and Keegan serves as more of a go-between than a disciplinarian role. Both of them will seek advice from him, but he understands that they know each other better than he does. Not for lack of trying, of course, but it's inevitable with older adoptions. His role comes from having more life experience, and he's got a kind of impenetrable chill that makes everybody a lot calmer.

[sichore]

I've been rattling around my own version of pre/earlyklok so here's what I've got so far:

Pickles has been chewed up and spat out by the industry after SnB, in ruin after faulty contracts made when he was too young to know what he was getting into. He's also extremely burned by not getting the residuals that he should have when he fucking made SnB what it was, and he's a struggling addict.

I don't know yet what all Magnus' deal is, but he never even made it that far and time is not on his side as far as the industry is concerned. So you've got a has-been and a would-be rock star meeting through the guy who would be Dethklok's first manager who think that hey, they could get something going here.

So you've got two guitarists, and maybe at some local joint, they hear a cover band, and holy shit this kid's got pipes. They approach Nathan and everyone gets drinks and he shares that he's always wanted a band (and deep down he knows that he has to have it), so fuck it, they're gonna make a band. And William's there too, I guess, because he's Nathan's buddy somehow, and they don't wanna waste energy on finding a bassist.

So they've got the start of a good thing but it's not quite there yet. None of the drummers they try have the right sound so finally Pickles is just like "fuck it, I'll do it" because he's had to do Sammy's parts so many times already, and... oh, hey, why the fuck is he bothering with the guitar again? This is where he belongs.

So now they gotta find another guitarist, and finding Skwisgaar is akin to finding a temple to a forgotten god. It's a crime that someone so talented should be regulated to rhythm guitar, but Pickles' last bit of money is fueling this, and Magnus has to have his way, so that's just how it goes.

And turns out Magnus' manager buddy who manages Skwisgaar seems a hell of a lot more competent than their current guy, so they got a new manager now. And it's rough, but it works. For a while.

Pickles runs himself ragged after Magnus is kicked out because it's all on him, this is his last shot and they've gotta make this work. And they give this scrawny kid from Norway a chance and he has Skwisgaar's approval, and then... everything starts to fall together.

Their growing fans become fanatic. People flock to them for work that borders on servitude, and money starts flowing in, and maybe now Pickles can relax a bit. Sure, the drugs may still kill him, but things are better now. He doesn't have to fight and scrape for what's rightfully his. He actually owns Dethklok this time along with the others, and life is... as good as it's gonna get.

And during all this, Nathan grows more confident in seeing his dream come true. No one knows when the shift happens, but he stops playing mediator and starts demanding things go this way and that way. Because it's his band.

And Pickles just lets him take over because sure, it's actually their band, but he's tired, man. He's just so tired of having to do things himself.

The rise of Dethklok happens over the span of 10-12 years, anywhere from 1994 to 2006. Snakes 'N' Barrels only lasted about 4-5 years and Pickles spent a handful of years remaking himself between gigs. Nathan and Murderface graduated high school in the late 80s/early 90s, and Toki is in his late 20s by the time the show starts.

[visionthefox]

Im feeling silly , I was looking over my logs of texts I often write to myself, an idea of what ever I want to do in the future And I found a horror idea based on a dream I had- I still somewhat remember it- I have a fear of getting lost and trapped - because I did get lost some few times in my life~ but for some reason my dream changed to "Im running" to "watch as someone else needs to survive" and I guess was to not get too scared? anyways, all I know I was in a abandoment plex, or shopping mall, I was in the play area MIND YOU this was before FNAF RUIN was even a thing! but I used to watch ppl explore abandoment places at night- soo ok, based on this dream of being lost, and running from something, I created an AU I never once shared to anyone sooo feeling silly! I want to let it out~ in resume! actually short one What if Fazbear got tired of weird stuff happening in the daycare, robots coming in and out, missing tech- a fucking death star? and their animatronics getting too comfortable walking away.. so much so is getting the brand in trouble so one night- FazCo just - reset both Sun and Moon, one night they sleep in the room they have, some humans walk in, since they work there Computer can not harm them, Computer tried to wake Moon but failed the next day, both brothers forgor everything and everyone, but something is off, Sun is not nervious nor shy, far from it, he seems to take a leadship, be harsh, sassy and somewhat mean-Moon in the other hand? he is calm, silent, cold only to human and robots, not kids, he is obedient to Sun only, and will be mean to everyone else. idk what exactly happened, but the plex grew darker, as maybe the aura of the change made everyone freak out, since Moon was literally paying FazCo to let him do anything, yet the company reset him as nothing.. soon chaos happend, and Eclipse , who mind you now has a body of his own -and I have no idea on what arc this happened, I just know he still hated everyone and didnt died- tried to walk in the daycare, only to Find Moon staring at him at the top on the play structure, Eclipse tease Moon but soon see something is not ok. Moon let him walk in, and worst, he just stared at him like a cat set on a prey, is only when Sun walked out from the ball pit he stared at Eclispe , and in a cheerfull yet cold tone said "oh, you are not part of FazCo line.. you are a bootleg? sorry~ we dont allow bootlegs in here! you need to leave!" and before Eclipse can say shit, Moon chease him away, Eclipse doesnt know why- but he ran away, maybe because Moon seems to be in his "kill code mode" but he just runs NOW this is the meat of the AU, Eclipse is forced to survive not getting seen by anyone, not even gregrory because he soon realized, every door is locked with new code only the rest on the glamrooks know, he tried to find the code, but just can not.. this is all I got, in my notes I had that Sun tried to reset Eclipse too thinking he just "needed some repains too" but I think Sun wanting Eclipse gone is more scary~ so yea, idk what to do with this so Im letting this out here- I may flesh out this idea? but I dont think I may actually draw it I just knew I wanted some horror related AU with sams at the time I wrote my dream down, I wanted true horror an scene I rememebr is Eclipse running inside one of the tubes, is all dark, only his eyes glow, and he is freaking out, Moon is cheasing him like a actual robot, no much of his personality showing - Eclipse clips up to the play structure, and finds a way out, not before he hears Sun teasing "please come out! we will make you better! you need to follwo FazCo rules~"

[tieflingthots]

Exandria Unlimited: Calamity starters

A mix of both cast and character quotes. Feel free to change any pronouns to fit!

❝ Fire. ❞

❝ Of course I'm safe. You'd never let anything happen to me. ❞

❝ I think I'm in the wrong class. ❞

❝ Are you weakest at your shoulder or elbow? ❞

❝ Is this a magical effect? ❞

❝ No, this is physics. ❞

❝ It's all on you, smart girl. ❞

❝ What’s goin’ on with this tree? ❞

❝ Can we have some for the homies? ❞

❝ Who is the most proud man here?  ❞

❝ To reach a hand down to somebody, they need to be beneath you! ❞

❝ And I am beneath nobody. ❞

❝ Then you must admit that I was RIGHT! ❞

❝ I feel you are going to be a very good champion for me. ❞

*passes you gummy bears of sorrow*

❝ That was buck nasty dog. ❞

❝ This is why we don’t trust dick! ❞

❝ Amazing. ❞

❝ This your house? ❞

❝ I don't pay attention to people dumber than me. ❞

❝ That is incredibly fair. ❞

❝ You’re leaving me, just like always. ❞

❝ Don’t worry, my wife will be right here to get us. ❞

❝ I just want to sully this whole image you’ve painstakingly made with a bunch of DICKS! ❞

❝ I don’t think I’ve ever heard you be mean. ❞

❝ This is the true betrayal. ❞

❝ People think I’m nice but I just conform to the genre. ❞

❝ Don’t come over here. ❞

❝ Why are you like this? ❞

❝ She was my dearest friend and I love her with all my heart. ❞

❝ It was a beautiful dream. ❞

❝ The age of Arcanum is dead. ❞

❝ If any of them are to be saved, then I know what must be done. ❞

❝ I don’t know how deeply you’ve sacrificed to do what must be done. ❞

❝ There is no god that strides this world that I worship more than I worship your heart. ❞

❝ There is a power beyond the stars that you alone could find. ❞

❝ Bad contract. ❞

❝ I don’t have enough power to help you! ❞

❝ I thought I could do it. ❞

❝ The world will remember me as it’s greatest’s villain. ❞

❝ I have it, baby. ❞

❝ That’s so dumb. ❞

❝ Has it even been a second yet?! ❞

❝ That should have never of happened. ❞

❝ It’s the power of love. ❞

❝ What happened to you? What’s on your face?! ❞

❝ Do not bother with my name. ❞

❝ I asked beyond all the things not to be forgotten. ❞

❝ I brought ruin to the world. ❞

❝ Hope that you are forgotten. ❞

❝ It'd be a pretty crazy show to watch. ❞

❝ I’m so sorry. ❞

❝ What have I done? ❞

❝ I’m gonna hit him…I’m going to punch him real hard. ❞

❝ Don’t look away from me! ❞

❝ I played a part in him. ❞

❝ We don’t have time for self-flagellation. ❞

❝ There’s nothing else but this. ❞

❝ I don’t know how to read anymore. ❞

❝ I hope it was worth the risk. ❞

❝ Help me think good. ❞

❝ You had to be nice. ❞

❝ I’m beginning to have a very bad idea. ❞

❝ That’s the best I’ve got. ❞

❝ It was all for this. ❞

❝ I’ll say something to you that I’ve never said before; Please ignore me and go get to work. ❞

❝ I think I have a duty to report what’s happening. ❞

❝ Aww, fuck you both. ❞

❝ You’re just Donald Ducking it? ❞

❝ We don’t have time– Shut the fuck up! ❞

❝ I am the last dragon of Avalir and you will do as I command. ❞

❝ As you say. As you say. ❞

❝ That’s right that’s the fuck I say! ❞

❝ I forgive you for anything you think you’ve done. I forgive you. ❞

❝ He looks different… ❞

❝ Doom has come. ❞

❝ The Betrayers walk the world. ❞

❝ I didn’t get to say my thing. ❞

❝ At the beginning of time the gods made all the gold there will ever be. There will always be more people. ❞

❝ Gold? Gold means nothing if you do not use it to lift people up. ❞

❝ How hot was he when he said that? ❞

❝ That is some cursed shit. ❞

❝ I can’t take it anymore. ❞

❝ You cannot leave me now. ❞

*moonwalks out*

❝ I don't hate you. ❞

❝ Is this my baby? ❞

❝ Why did he rob the fashion district? ❞

❝ Weak. ❞

❝ Do I kill my best friend? Is that cool? ❞

❝ Put him out of his misery? ❞

❝ It’s been all for this and it. ❞

❝ Are you the woman who doomed the world or the woman who saved it? ❞

❝ What?! What have you done?! ❞

❝ My best. Finally. ❞

❝ Meeting you and being loved by you was a miracle. ❞

❝ I've been able to become anyone I want my whole life, but I just want to be with you. ❞

❝ And for whatever time we have left, I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you ❞

❝ I'm sorry, my lady. I love you, but I love another more. ❞

❝ My child, my heart breaks. But I would rather mine break and yours be kept whole. ❞

❝ Let's shatter her teeth! ❞

[path-illogic]

I constantly constantly see posts about the “rightness” of the three endings in Pathologic and I always see them related back to the characters who push for them. The point is not “Artemy could never destroy the town and ruin everything” the point is that. He could. If none of Daniil’s bound is sick? He could. He could trust in Dankovsky’s solution and make that choice. And the same goes the other way.

The first time I played the bachelors route I fell in love with the town in my exploration of it. Walking through the sick districts killed me because everyone would be crying out in pain and I could technically stop and save them! I could help them! They were all dying and though I couldn’t stop it yet I had morphine on me. I could stop their suffering. Visiting and learning about the polyhedron was a miracle to me and I was so so in love with the entire concept of it. But every step up the polyhedrons stairs had me thinking “oh god, it’s going to take so long to get back to the tow and continue my duties from here.” And when day 12 came around I was presented with a choice. Save the town or save the polyhedron. Artemy was there, promising me that he had a way to cure the town… and I chose his ending. I had never seen the town through his eyes, I was never accepted into the town, but still I felt I HAD to choose it, because I wasn’t able to save so many people before.

If I hadn’t healed artemy’s bound and invited him to the polyhedron I wouldn’t have been able to make that choice. If I was stronger and prioritized prevention over a cure that was, in my eyes, entirely built on trust. I would have chosen Dankovskys solution. But when there exists a miracle panacea, wouldn’t it make sense for the man who studies miracles to take a leap of fate? Wouldn’t a man fighting death choose to stop it, instead of preventing it?

The healers come up with their solutions through their experiences. But their solutions are not necessarily 100% what they agree with. Clara may hate the idea of sacrifice, she’s done it for days and days and it doesn’t get easier. But it’s the only solution she knows will work, so when it’s time, it’s the one she puts forward. Artemy may fucking hate the town! No one remembers him. his fathers death clouds all his good memories of it. and living in a new town where the kids don’t ever have to worry about the sand pest, as it’s been entirely prevented, may be a dream come true! How could he look his bound in the eyes having been the one to destroy their polyhedron? But he did not look into prevention, he’s his fathers son, he brewed a panacea as per instructions, and when he finds he can make enough, he puts that solution forth.

The healers are not their solutions. They are just the only people who could have come to said solutions.

[dentwy]

number 5: undertale yellow

god i fucking love this game. i love undertale, it's one of my favorite games if not my favorite game of all time. this comes as no surprise to anyone that knows me already, but it had to be said. so, while i haven't been actively waiting for undertale yellow, it absolutely was one of those things i remembered to check every couple of years.

to this day i still remember all the undertale alternate universe comics i read and all the comic dubs i watched (which may or may not have had an impact in my entire career choice). the idea of a full on game based on an au has always been an ideal scenario, a dream even; so to see this finally come to fruition is akin to seeing a dream come true. to see these people, some of which have been working on this project since they were 14 years old, is highly inspiring, and the sheer passion and dedication put behind it is nothing short of incredible.

undertale yellow isn't as much of a "what if?" scenario, as it is the undertale prequel we never got, except it’s made by fans. it feels canon, yet it’s not. throughout its entirety you need to remind yourself, "wait, right, this is a fan game" and it's not something many pieces of fan media can accomplish. we know undertale already, know its canon, characters, world, systems. how do we improve this? well, we can expand the world, add new characters, give a spin on the things we know, improve the systems, create more battle scenarios, etc. and etc. that or, you know, play deltarune i suppose.

i adore deltarune, do not misunderstand anything i'm about to say, but in its current state it's completely unclear on what it even is. it's made by toby fox, it shares characters and a lot of similar aspects, but it's not quite a sequel, is it? as of now deltarune feels like a fan au made game. i love this aspect of the game too, not everything needs a sequel to continue, specially when you've already made such an interesting world you can use. which is where tracking steps back and going into a prequel makes the most sense.

in all the years me thinking about undertale and reading up on theories i never actually thought about the timeline of events. 6 humans fell down, now they need a 7th soul. how long ago have these monsters even been trapped in the underground? what are the humans even doing right now? how big is the underground even? it's not that undertale yellow answers these questions, and frankly it doesn’t need to, but it stirs them up in a really interesting way i haven’t thought of before.

you play as clover, the 6th human soul. yellow. already giving a name and motive to the human may seem weird for undertale standards, but i believe it's one of the game's strongest points. you can distance yourself from clover. he's not you. sure, you control the guy, though not all the time. he has his things to say, he moves around on his own and has his own thoughts. he's way less of a vessel than frisk is. while distancing yourself may sound like a negative, the issue at hand is that we know for a fact clover died in some way or another. you can't exactly change the canon, what you can choose is the path you will take for this to happen.

for most undertale fans, going pacifist is the way, as i did for my first run. i certainly remember watching the demo for yellow back in the day, however it's been so long it might as well be a dream i had once. what did forever stick with me was dalv's battle theme, forlorn. at the time, probably my favorite fan song. ironically, dalv ends up being arguably the most irrelevant character in the game, and his song, probably not the best, although still good. i like dalv though. the new ruins definitely have an older feeling to them, they are the one part of the game that's been around the longest and still works well enough as undertale's ruins did. compared to toriel, a nice and warm character that wants you to avoid battle, dalv is the cold and antisocial guy that wants you gone. he's been wronged, he has his hopes but it's hard to stay positive when your worries are always crawling on your back. i kind of wish he had a more active role in the story, but i digress.

snowdin is where things take a turn. we already know snowdin, but we're in new grounds. it's good to know that there's more to the underground than just the 5 places we see in undertale. each area has so much more to explore, of which we (supposedly) don't really get to see in undertale. there's no sans and papyrus here (they probably wouldn't have been around by that time anyway i assume), no grillby's, no librarby. instead, we get martlet, a new royal guard recruit. martlet works well as both the papyrus and sans of this game (more on that later). she's lovable, she's clumsy, but she's determined. i would say she's something of a coward, but she knows she needs to stand up for others when it's necessary. her naiveté works against her in this regard, though, putting her entire trust in anyone and everything, going as far as to help you get back home. still, snowdin is a wonderful place to walk around. the music is beautiful, the slight hue change is a really nice tone and getting to see a different side of the place we already know is generally great to do.

the dunes are a nice change of pace. not sure how going from the snow to a desert works in the underground, but it fits the cowboy hat, so it was a must. the dunes is where the game starts to show its strength. for starters, i absolutely adore the battle theme shifts for every zone, the dunes being my favorite one. it adds so much character to the encounters, along all the creative bullet patterns, character designs and animations. which is perfectly exemplified with the feisty four (the j is silent). they are as pure of a version of toby fox's comedy as you can get. the entire "training" process is the goofiest thing imaginable, they're really likeable (my favorite was moray if you care to know) and go to show that monsters don't want anything more than to be happy. starlo, or north star, is a great character. here we have a clumsy, delusional farmer wanting to play cowboy for everyone to enjoy. he shows off as upbeat and confident, although clouded through his way of treating life as a game. he eventually learns people care about him for who he is, and that he doesn't need to do everything for the rest, showing off another, kinder, side of him. by the way, his fight with the soul being tied by the lasso is genius work.

here is also where ceroba gets introduced, the kitsune that has more to show than it would initially seem. his husband is apparently dead and his daughter in serious condition. you travel with her through steamworks learn about her, her husband and a bit of the conditions of the underground. while i'm gonna be avoiding questioning the idea of corporations in the underground, other robots besides mettaton being designed for different tasks and, specifically, dealing with humans, is great. i don't have a lot to say about steamworks besides the fact the really aggressive vending machine is extremely funny to me.

now ceroba’s backstory is really cool and it brings up something i wanna talk about in detail about the game. ceroba, and chujin (her husband) for that matter, are the monsters in this game that are the most judgemental about humans. while she still comes around and understands that not all humans may be inherently bad, such is your case in the pacifist, it still is her duty to get your soul. monsters aren't that different from humans, that's what undertale has already established. yet, the question we're not asking is: how different are humans from monsters? she's not wrong. clover may be the best human you'll ever meet, but you can't know for sure what will happen in the surface. undertale's pacifist ending seems to imply everyone is happy in the surface, as it is what everyone has been wanting for years. but what if it's not the case? monsters need to find ways to survive. they need to do whatever they can for those they care about. boss monsters do not age, unless they have offspring. how can they make sure their children are safe once they're gone? she comes from a place of desperation. she's done something terrible that can't be fixed, getting your soul is the only way. while it's nice to be positive and hope for the best, you can never be sure. kind of makes me wonder why the monsters even want to leave the underground considering they have everything they need there, but still.

this can be solved in one of two ways, killing ceroba or sparing her. sparing her gives you one of the craziest most satisfying endings i've seen all year. you know, humans can be nice. not everyone lives just to spite monsters, a lot of them may not have even been around back when monsters got sealed. we know for a fact clover will die, there is no way to go back home. instead, he decides to do the ultimate sacrifice, and offers his soul for the monsters to keep until the next and final human falls down. otherwise, the other option is to stop her suffering once for all. hope can't fix your mistakes, right? which gives us a piece of dialogue i really liked:

once that is done, you go up to asgore and get killed by him. at least you go out with respect i suppose.

bringing us back to the start, time to kill everyone. i will always find the no mercy runs really interesting. undertale brought a sense of morbid curiosity that made you reflect on your actions. at the end of it all, it is just a game, but it's a game that means something to you. why are you killing the characters you love? can you really go back to normal after what you've done? deltarune is on completely different levels of fucked, going as far as to gaslight someone else to do the dirty work for you. yellow definitely pulls back on the "shame on you" part of undertale, as we're still talking about clover being the one doing this, not necessarily you. it even goes as far as to have clover be the one that decides on his own a lot of the times. can't argue it doesn't feel bad though, the monsters in yellow are all really nice and friendly. in the eyes of a human, why would one care about the monsters that killed all those poor children? it does definitely turn into something much more sinister however. going around in circles killing as many monsters as you can will always be messed up in undertale, unlike most other rpgs. the music shifting down as you go is always cool, alike the original game. the x showing up on new encounters when there's no one else is a nice extra detail.

martlet shows that she still has hope for even those who seem dangerous. others never stop to consider they "why" after all, right? her escaping away may seem cowardish, but i feel it can be more than that. she does genuinely have hope for you, but she still has a backup plan. she knows she's not strong enough to defeat you, she's a bit of a failure of a royal guard, even self-described as not being good at fighting. although maybe too late, she will make sure her actions are just.

as a side note, someone i haven't mentioned is mo, everyone’s favorite entrepreneur. he's funny, what can you say. there is a shift i found extremely interesting from seeing him in the pacifist route to the no mercy run. initially he seems as a clumsy yet passionate guy trying his damn hardest to get off the streets. it means a lot to him that you support his endeavors. when you're killing everyone though? his character doesn't really change, it's the perspective that does. now you get a guy pretty much willingly giving a serial killer what he needs to continue his rampage. now he's not a passionate rascal, but a scumbag narcissist. just something i found interesting.

in the dunes we also have el bailador which i liked as a character, i only hated how his theme restarts for every attack and it sounds pretty bad. this time, simply ignore his rhythm game! fuck you bitch! it fits works excellently for a no mercy route and i dig it. later, ceroba comes back as a boss, right after shooting down north star before you were even supposed to draw your gun (unless you do wait, which at least makes him die with a little bit more pride). her patterns end up being way more touhou-esque than before, really fun fight, even if tough. the yellow soul shooting as it did in undertale is cool and all, but the dash is a really great addition. even if she's supposed to be the undyne equivalent for this game's route, she ends up working as sans with the pattern order and health depletion similar to his karmic retribution. really nice stuff.

steamworks, again, not a lot to say. the roles reversing between axis and yourself throughout the entire section is sublime. you do the chase now, you are the one attacking while he defends, you are the killer robot. another standout moment was the gardener not leaving to fight. found that curious. i definitely drank the poison just to see what would happen (what did you think would happen?).

at this point in the run, i seemingly fucked up and didn't kill all the robots. whoops! you get a letter from martlet asking you to come talk to her, and there she tells you to come back with her and live peacefully. arguably weird in a genocide run. could clover suddenly be forgiven after all that? i guess martlet's just really nice. either way, this is the neutral ending. the craziest of them all.

right! flowey is here. my best friend. he's always had an undeniable presence in undertale, but having him actively help you out and follow you around (instead of stalking you like in ut) puts him in a different perspective. it's nice to see different sides of flowey, even though he may always be hiding his true intentions, and will probably betray you in the end. just like he's doing here, same as he did with asgore. he's a being of constant suffering, he lives for his own sake and uses others for his benefit, not for many reasons besides him having nothing better to do. in many ways, a reflection of the player.

the new omega flowey fight is indescribable. just go play that yourself, or watch it, i guess. an excellent rendition of your best friend / your worst nightmare that may be a bit corny when we're talking about "creepy undertale fan made songs" but works perfectly in the context of the fight. that motherfucker is just creepy. it gives off the exact same feeling the original omega flowey fight did, and i applaud them for that. the style shifts and back and forth between fight and escape. impeccable.

getting back on track and actually finishing the no mercy route. martlet appears, giving us the hardest fight in the game. by now, there's no going back. you've decided this is how you want things to go down, so she has no other option. she may be late, but she will do all she can. she will be the one doing the final judgement. she’s just fucked up. learning the dash is a must for this boss. the visuals are awesome the music is great and the bullets are really creative. i'm not sure if martlet being unpredictable with the order of her attacks is what makes her seem harder than sans, or the fact i've fought sans so many times its second nature by now makes her seem way harder. she's still up there in terms of difficulty though. being divided in two phases definitely made it more complicated though, as i’m running out of items by the end of the first one and end up with barely anything for the second one. the update adding a healing action helped a lot.

up to this point it could be argued the genocide path may be the most canon of them all. none of the monsters we meet are in undertale. all of these events are never mentioned. they're almost part of completely different worlds at times. yet, we go up against asgore and he gets completely wiped. clover gets the monster boss soul and leaves. maybe not the most impactful of the endings, but why would it be? if the goal was to kill and get out, that's what you got. pointless? not sure, that's what you decided to do.

seeing the last corridor again definitely sends shivers down my spine.

more or less, that's how i experienced undertale yellow. yellow is not the color of justice, it's the color of judgement. flowey mentioned that on his fight and i think it puts this game into words. "justice is determined by the winner" or so they say. it's not justice that ends up determining what you feel is right or wrong, but your own judgement. judgement on your actions and judgement over others.

i don't like saying "this is a love letter to x" but, yeah. undertale means a lot to me and it's no wonder yellow ended up being what it is. it knows what undertale is while following its principles and understanding it fully. i could only wish my projects are as resonant with people as undertale and, in turn, undertale yellow are. please, fans, show your passion for the things you love*. you may end up doing an undertale yellow.

*(just don't be a nintendo fan)

[cardanloveclub]

but imagine rodrick playing some arctic monkeys songs w his band okay! okay!

Arabella

Why the fuck were they so loud? Every single night for the last week my stupid neighbor had his stupid band round. And I had to listen to their stupid music every night. Not as if I tried to it was just so intrusive no matter what volume I'd play my own music in my own room (at least I understand privacy) nothing was able to drown out the sound of the band next door.

They weren't bad, but nowhere near good. I think they had a 28 year old playing with them at one point. Weirdos.

Three of the boys are in my year at school. Another two were in the year above and then there was the old dude. I never openly speak to the ones at my school but it's hard to ignore a certain tall brunette boy. I mean especially since I live next door to him.

We've both lived here since the start and I think I've spoken to him ten times in sixteen years. Good. He's kinda a dick. A good looking dick. But still, a dick.

I let it slip once to my friends when we were drunk and after everything that night THAT was what they remembered. I loved my group but they never let me live it down.

I was just about to give up trying to listen to music when I heard my favourite song. But Spotify wasn't playing it. Those stupid boys were. And what was the loudest. The drums. Great.

From out my window I could see just inside their garage and of course he was looking straight up to my window. Straight up into my eyes. And he fucking winked. FUCKING WINKED. I'd never forget that.

The next day at school I couldn't keep my eyes off him. I'm not stupid, I didn't get caught though. At least not by him. My friend belle did catch me. "I knew it, I fucking knew it. You don't just think he's hot, you like him."

"okay, calm down, I do not want him hearing anything but come to the bathrooms with me, I'll tell you a story."

There was a few girls in the bathrooms, all of them were younger so I wasn't bothered about them spreading things around because I doubt they even knew my name. I told belle what happened and when I told her that he winked at me she nearly screamed. "I'd fall in love, straight away. On. my. knees."

"You can have him if you'd like?"

"Would never dream of ruining my one true pair, make my your maid of honour." I rolled my eyes, laughing. "I'll start dress shopping huh?"

The afternoon went by and my parents were still at work so I had to walk home. Well, half the way. I'd been walking for around 10 minutes when his stupid van slowed down next to me. "Hop in, I'm on my way home now."

"I'm fine."

"I said hop in." I did. Truthfully I wanted to drive with him since I saw that painted van lazily parked outside his house. "You heading straight home?"

"Oh yeah, my parents aren't in so I need to get there so they know where I am you know?"

"I know. You liked our song, played it for you if you didn't guess."

"Oh the wink was enough of a clue, how'd you know then?"

"That it was your favourite? I've got friends of friends...a girl called belle?"

"I'm going to kill her."

"Awh don't do that you'll be no fun in prison, I wouldn't be able to see you." I'm no blusher but I felt like a traffic lights, bright and red.

Thankfully we were outside my house two minutes later so I didn't feel awkward for long. "Hey, don't forget to listen our for us tonight!"

"I wouldn't be able to miss it if I piled bricks on top of myself." I replied smiling. Fuck, why am I smiling, I don't like this. Too sappy. He laughed, getting out of his van, walking towards his front door, turning around, winked and went inside. How did he do it so casually? Two nights in a row now, and I'm sure even five years later that wink would kill me.

As soon as I got upstairs I called belle. "Belle, he told me. You traitor. Belle, I'm weakening. Ten year old, hunger games reading, Katniss Everdeen lover would be disappointed in me Belle, help."

"Okay calm down before you write a letter to Suzanne herself explaining how you like a guy and therefore you're not "badass", what's going on."

"So I was walking home and Rodrick himself drives up to me tells me to get in his van to drop me off home. He told me that's you told him I think he's hot, well not exactly that but it's all your fault I'm a dying woman."

"I did you a favour god knows you never would have told him yourself."

"Good, I wanted to keep it that way."

"You'll thank me in a few years, anyway I was thinking red velvet wedding ca-" I hung up on her and a second later I received a message.

how dare you hang up on me young lady.

shut up, love ya.

talk to him.

never.

ur loss.

My mum came home at six and my dad at half seven, we had pasta for tea, I went upstairs and five minutes later it was playing again. Arabella. But it wasn't the same person singing this time. I looked out my window and the sight practically killed me. Rodrick Heffley. Singing. And again. WINKING. God this was going to be a long week.

Wednesday, 7th April.

The start of everything.

"Y/n. what do you have first?" I was talking to belle when I heard his voice behind me, what's better? what's scarier? His head on my shoulder from behind. Belle smirked at me and I went still. "Um maths...I think."

"Maths sucks, same though. Hey belle, we'll be going now, won't we?" He asked looking at me. Before I could answer I was walking alongside him, looking back to find belle waving at me with a sweet smile. Her friend Charlie next to her now. I saw him ask her "they finally a thing?"

"Dunno, let's see how today goes." she replied.

"So y/n, tonight around five pm, I'll come to your house and I'll ask if you wanna come over to mine, listen to music, watch something, whatever you like, and tell me what you'll say because if it's no then I'll leave right this second, if it's yes then my hand might find its way around your shoulder or into yours. okay?"

"I'd say yeah, let me get a jacket."

"Good, but I'd give you mine."

[maya-matlin]

Out of the degrassi movies (don’t look back, Hollywood, Manhattan) which one do you think is the most ridiculous and why? And how would you rank the plots in each movie?

(I did not include Schools Out cause while a lot of things that happened in the movie pissed me off it was nowhere near as ridiculous or far fetched as the others)

Oh god. This will be fun, because the story lines during those movies were all over the place. It was very clear the writers weren't aiming to do anything remotely realistic and just wanted to have fun.

I'm inclined to say that Don't Look Back, even though it's widely despised, is probably less ridiculous than the other two movies. At least they stayed in Canada? Tristan was trying to run a successful YouTube channel, but I don't think it worked out. For some reason, I can't remember the details of the kidnapping story line, but it's not totally unbelievable that a girl would do something drastic like fake her own kidnapping because her older, abusive boyfriend was manipulating her into thinking it's the only way they could be together. We already know Maya to be someone overly concerned with keeping people safe and that she can't stop herself from getting involved. So that's not totally off to me.

Degrassi Goes Hollywood and Degrassi Takes Manhattan speak for themselves. Multiple characters ran off to either LA or New York and managed to find fame in a short period of time. In defense of Manny and Paige being cast in Jason Mewes' movie, there was at least a previous connection because both worked on the set of the season 4 movie. In Manhattan, Jane just randomly met a guy in a band that was about to take off and ends up performing with them on live TV. Since we're led to believe Holly J got the internship on her own merits rather than Declan pulling the strings, that's kind of hard to believe. Meanwhile, Spinner and Emma drunkenly elope and decide to remain married, declaring themselves in love after less than a week. Ellie's plot was somewhat more grounded. The Crellie stuff was ridiculous, but Ellie was intentionally running from the reality of her father's condition. Not only that, but Craig and Ellie had both been ruined for years by this point. So sadly, it wasn't too shocking to see Craig's cheating ways mixed with Ellie's desperation and codependency come into play once again.

I guess this means my answer is Degrassi Takes Manhattan? Honestly, they're all ridiculous. None of them hold up compared to the regular episodes, but oh well.

Degrassi Goes Hollywood:

1.) Manny (If not for Craig's involvement in Ellie's story line and the heavy emphasis on their non-romance, that one would rank first. I'm not afraid to say that this one places first because Manny is my favorite and I like seeing her dreams come true. Also, Janny got back together. Cassie Steele's voice was at least good enough to justify Manny landing that role even if Manny hadn't been established as a good singer prior to this. I just wish Peter and his stupid fucking band didn't have to be involved. The writers never let her be free of that man)

2.) Ellie (As I said before, this one had a solid basis. After Ellie's family problems were placed on the backburner for four seasons, finally we were given an update. We'd already known Ellie to self harm. Season 7 hinted at Ellie eventually developing a drinking problem. The elements were there for Ellie to have a really compelling story with her spiraling and relapsing to cope with her dad's condition. Unfortunately, the crux of this story line involved Ellie reconnecting with Craig, and I can only overlook that so much)

3.) Paige (This is easily the worst part of the movie. It was hard to understand why Paige was suddenly after fame or why she was even living in LA in the first place. The Paige of seasons 5-7 had different goals in mind. It felt like they wanted to resume the Paige vs Manny feud, only not even that got much screen time. For some reason, the writers really wanted to punish Paige and imply that she and Marco would never be friends again. Also, Perez Hilton showed up during all of this. We need to give the writers so much shit for that. They legitimately gave that creep a paycheck. Unforgivable)

Degrassi Takes Manhattan:

1.) Holly J vs Fiona (Arguably, this was the best plot in any of the movies. It was literally just Fiona and Holly J feuding while attempting to stake a claim on Declan. Holly J got most of the focus, but Fiona's character and the hints of her alcoholism and mental health problems were the most interesting aspect of it. I mean, Declan wasn't worth all that for numerous reasons, but he and Fiona had an extremely codependent sibling relationship. Declan wasn't beyond redemption at this point, so even his role was somewhat sympathetic with his loyalty being divided between his girlfriend and his twin sister)

2.) Spinner/Emma (Like I said before, the fact we were supposed to think their impulsive marriage was a sufficient happy ending with so little build up was unbelievable. But at the same time, the actors gave it their all and made it almost charming if you didn't think too much about it. Spinner and Emma together isn't the problem. It's the way it was done and the fact it was blatantly a rebound for Spinner and Emma being so desperate to figure out her future that she jumped right into a marriage with someone she was barely friends with. Had more time been devoted to their relationship set up or even if they'd simply become a couple, the fact they were endgame wouldn't feel so random and forced)

3.) Jane (Jane's five seconds of fame was ridiculous. I can't even talk about it because there's literally nothing to say. She randomly met a guy who was played by someone more than twice Jane's age (37), and suddenly she's in the band and ready to blow off college to be famous even though Jane was never into anything like that. Then, she finds out Spinner's getting married and stops just short of talking him out of it. Somehow, we're supposed to feel good about her ending. It felt like a series of totally random, bizarre events that have no basis in any sort of logic)

Don't Look Back:

1.) Zoe/Grace (I'm not going to pretend as if I'm not biased. Their story line was literally a lesbian romcom. I loved everything about it. I don't give a fuck that Zoe had three different love interests in one season or that the writers could never keep straight how academically smart she was. All that mattered is that she ended the season with Grace and finally met her match. We saw Grace more vulnerable with Zoe than we had with anyone else up to that point. Zoe finally realized what sort of love she wanted to experience and the kind of partner she needed. Had the writers just fucking let it happen and not been all, "Well, actually, it's problematic to assume that just because you dress vaguely alternative, color your hair, and have piercings, you must be gay. We're just going to ignore the times we implied Grace was into girls because the girl crushing on her BFF's boyfriend trope has never been done before and we need it for our tone deaf plot twist," everything would have been great. I even thought Miles's role in the story line was pretty fun)

2.) Maya/Zig (This isn't Maya's best story line and pales in comparison to all of her other season 14 plots, but it's like Gracevas's story line to me. I got to watch Zig and Maya be adorable together, kissing in every other scene and taking care of kids together after waiting for them to be canon for years. So I took what I could get and just had fun with it. Other than that, Maya's continued anxiety and need to involve herself so that she's never "responsible" for someone else's misery tracks for me. I thought Maya and Gloria coming together towards the end was interesting. And obviously, Zaya's first technical endgame since TNG could have been the end of the show)

3.) Frankie (To be honest, I just didn't care about this story line. Frankie's relationship with Gloria's abusive boyfriend wasn't well developed or given enough depth for me to believe Frankie seriously fell for him that quickly and easily. I know Winston was boring and had literally just kissed one of her best friends, but mostly I blame it on the fact that Frankie has the worst taste in men. I know the writers wanted to get everyone involved in Gloria's disappearance, but I wish anyone else had gotten the spotlight)

4.) Tristan (I don't know if this counts as a plot, but Tristan's constant interruptions take me out of the movie. I know it's supposed to be intentionally overdramatic, but this wasn't the best use of the character. Sometimes I wonder if the writers were trying to make everyone hate him)

[shirogane-oushirou]

8,6,7,5,3, and 9 for whichever f/o you're feeling right now! (for the spicy asks)

i forgot i had that ask game in my queue. screaming crying sobbing. i don't know why this is making me nervous, i'm CONSTANTLY in nsft post tags blabbering on about how i want to give my otter man a brain-melting orgasm to cure him of his Conditions... ;;;

answering these for ren bc he's the one i'm most... in tune with? i COULD answer some spicy asks about some of the others (mars is a good runner-up), but i've never put as much thought into this side of a relationship as i have with ren. SO!!!

whether i ramble on with details nobody needs to know or i just give a-few-words-long answers is up to fate. 🙏🏻 (edit post-writing: ......you wanna guess which option fate went with? 😩 i'm so sorry in advance kjNKJN)

3: Is the sex between you and your f/o usually sensual? Passionate? Animalistic?

more sensual and passionate, if i have to pick among those options.

r!ren's much more passionate from the start, since he isn't forcing himself to play a role and can just be open with his affections. he's the kind of guy to quickly go from a light kiss while we watch something to Full Throttle if he's given the OK kjndfkjn.

doc!ren starts out playful and sensual, and he has more control wrt things like light affection staying light, but as things heat up the mask starts to slip and the passion comes out in him as well.

but, with both rens, we're also very silly. like, he's intentionally being a goof the entire time (see: that one post about an f/o saying "shoot your goo!" when you're about to cum), and if his hands get shaky while he's trying to put on a condom, that isn't gonna ruin the mood... if anything i'd be like, "oh no, he's failing to put the condom on... oooh he's struggling so hard... 💕" and then offer to help with my own shaky hands kjsndkjn. like this is us when something silly happens or we have trouble with something stupid:

5: Do you and your f/o prefer having sex in the dark or with the lights open?

lights on! he wants to be able to see everything... not only in the "i love your body" sense (which is also true), but in the "i want to see every facial reaction so i can figure out what works for you and what doesn't" sense.... whether he's doc!ren or r!ren, he has a mind for study, close examination, and analysis.

and -i- want to see his every reaction bc he's handsome and cute and veeery expressive :3 i wanna see him Fucking Lose It in full hd quality.

6: What was the most embarrassing thing to happen between you and your f/o before, during, and/or after sex?

i can't think of anything in particular that's truly embarrassing tbh. i think there are also things that both of us could feel embarrassed about individually that the other would find endearing, but i don't really count that... :/

idk, it just isn't something i've put much thought into in spite of the fact that something would inevitably happen at some point!

7: Any favourite positions?

nothing too creative! we both enjoy missionary, cowgirl, pretzel dip, and reverse spooning, and he in particular loves giving and receiving oral so face sitting + kneeling at the edge of the bed... really anything that's face-to-face and as close as possible.

and if i'm not up for anything on my end, i'm usually more than happy for us to sit or lie next to each other while i help get him off (often a good chance for some fun power play, teasing, etc) or give him JOI if i'm not up for anything physical at all (ALSO a good chance for power play and teasing lol). he understands that we have VASTLY different "batteries", so even if i'm just sitting next to him while he takes care of things himself, to him that just means we're sitting close and spending time together, yippee~!!

8: Any favourite places (ex. bedroom, kitchen, on a desk, against the wall  etc)?

honestly, if it were up to him, i think he'd be up for just about anywhere, and in my wildest dreams i'd also be up for more creative use of space... but because of my pain and health issues, the best places are the bed and sofa ;;; kissing elsewhere for a bit would be okay, but once things really start to get going we need to get somewhere soft and cushioned lmao.

9: Any kinks and/or fetishes?

OKAYYYY. the Big Question. so. i imagine us, when we start discussing the possibility of sex, sharing our most searched "tags" as a starting point to see what we have in common, figure out if one of us is squicked by one of the other's kinks and need to avoid it, etc. the most relevant kinks are:

femdom (no shit lol, we VERY quickly figure out we're a perfectly matched sub top and dom bottom/service dom)

light bondage (nothing too intense, just a "hands tied to the bedposts, blindfold over the eyes" every now and again kind of deal)

edging (gotta make my boy sooooo desperate~)

body worship (self explanatory)

scent (i can't decide if ren's like... a scent guy or a MY PERSON'S SCENT guy... but he loves to bury his head in my hair and neck, especially if we're doing our ro's-battery-is-empty sessions and he just wants to lean into me.)

sound (to complement his scent Thing i guess ksjdkjn voices are a huge things for me, and i think moaning is super cute, and uh. welp...!! he's good at it!!)

i'm not gonna lie, i think it'd be hot as fuck to fuck doc!ren in gloves and his labcoat KJNJLJNKSJM i have a thing for hands and labcoats so the double whammy would knock me out cold.

aaand i simply enjoy seeing my lovely boyfriend blissed the fuck out ^^ my cocktail of being ace, what i can feel, how often i feel it, etc. is a little fucked, but even when everything is at its lowest possible levels, i'd still get some indescribable Thing out of helping push ren to his limits, watching him completely lose it, and enjoying as he comes down from the high. it'd make me feel good to see him feel good, even if the source of that good feeling is different for both of us. 💕

[mrsfilipchibstelford]

MINE

PART ONE

@vulgar-display-of-escapism @kitty-of-mischief

Here's a Tiggy story. Should there be more parts?

After all his mistakes and the fucked up things he had done in his life, she still decided she loved him. Acted like he was worth it. He knew he wasn't, but he didn't have the heart to tell her that. And now they were getting married.

"Are ya almost ready to ruin this poor girl's life yet?"

Tig turned and glared at his brother in law's teasing smirk and pointed his finger at the Scot.

"Shut the fuck up Chibby."

Chibs just rolled his eyes.

"Hurry up, you're not even dressed and everyone is ready but you. What the hell you been doing all this time?"

Chibs sat down and looked at Tig. He looked scared, something Chibs had never thought he would see....not from Tiggy anyways.

"Please don't tell me you're having second thoughts about this?"

"No. I was just thinking I don't deserve her."

"Neither one of us deserve our old ladies,"

Chibs chuckled. He slapped his brother on his back.

"Get fuckin dressed so we can get you married."

*****

*****

Tig stood at the front of the church-- a place he never thought he'd be in-- alongside Chibs and Happy and Rat and waited. The place was filled with family, mostly hers, and friends, mostly SOA members, mayans and the bastards. It was a weird mix of people but somehow it worked. The church was filled with sunflowers, daisies and fall colors. For a wedding thrown together at the last minute it was put together well. Tig assumed he had his little sister to thank for that. No one planned a event like Hayleigh did. For the 10th time in 5 minutes he asked Chibs if he was sure he had Carmen's wedding ring. The man beside him sighed heavily and showed him the damn ring, again, while Happy smirked and Rat just shook his head. The minister appeared taking his place and the piano started to play the beauty and the beast song "tale as old as time". Everyone turned and watched as the girls started to enter in their pretty burgundy dresses, Hayleigh's slightly different then Brooke and Winsome's. As the music changed Carmen appeared looking gorgeous. She finally got to Tig and the minister began.

"Destiny's a mysterious thing. No matter what you do or where you go you can't avoid it. And no matter how hard you try, you can't force it to happen before it's time. This occasion that we witness and celebrate today is the destiny of two souls. So with that being said, it's time to provide the rings and say your vows."

Carmen took a breathe in and smiled softly.

"I Carmen Leanne take you, Richard Alexander -"

She was cut off as everyone exploded with laughter and comments from the bikers in attendance and the groomsmen.

"Im callin you dick from now on," Rat said, while Chibs was laughing too hard to speak. Happy smirked at Carmen and winked.

"If you dont want to be disappointed tonight, you know where to find me..."

"Damn, and I thought my parents hated me for my name." Kozik muttered. Tig glared at his sister.

"WHY would you tell her my full name?!"

"And miss this opportunity to fuck with you? No thank you." Hayleigh innocently shook her head, which just made Chibs laugh more. His wife's antics never failed to amuse him.

"Also, why wouldnt she already know? I mean she is marrying you. I know Filip's full name."

"Alright children settle down now so we can get back to the vows. Please. "

The minister said as he motioned to the bride. Carmen stifled her giggles and tried again.

"I Carmen, take you Alex-"

she didn't dare say his first name again, as everyone was still smirking and laughing.

"- as my best friend, love of my life and husband. I promise to live with you, laugh with you, to stand by your side through all the good and bad times. I will be faithfully yours and will always love you unconditionally.."

Tig, still glaring at his sister, turned his attention to Carmen and took her hand. He took a deep breath and started.

"Carmen. My angel. You are my miracle, my dream come true and my best friend. You're way too good for someone like me. I know that there are a lot of things I can't give you but everything I can, I will. Being with you is the only thing I never had to question myself about wether or not I made the right decision. You are my always and forever and the best thing I never planned for. I'm so thankful for you every day. I love you. I would die for you and I would kill for you too. I have fallen in love with you over and over again and every time I think I couldn't love you more you somehow prove me wrong. You are my definition of perfect, and I will spend the rest of our forever cherishing every second I get to spend with you."

Chibs nudged him.

"AND....."

"And I promise you treat you as good as my leather and ride you as much as my harley."

They both slid the rings on and then kissed. The minister smiled, relieved at the thought of getting the hell out of there and quickly pronounced them husband and wife. As they kissed, someone yelled that it was time to party

[nochiquinn]

campaign 3 episode 23: you're tearing me APART delilah

liam: dat ass

that's still one of the smoothest ones she's had yet

"keep it up, you might have a career in this yet"

I'm going to try to watch Calamity. I don't have anything against Brennan, I just unfortunately associate his face with smug d20 fans who pop up every time they've decide CR is morally bankrupt again.

what kind of godawful cliffhanger are they going to leave us on for four weeks

marisha what did you do

well-oiled machine

hey. hey chetney. hey chetney whatcha doin.

hey chetney WHATCHA DOIN

CHETNEY

do it DO IT

GRINCH STYLE

JESUS

he's been writing this in his head for weeks.

CHETNEY

"I wouldn't want to see him in a Whole Foods"

"she is not armored. she is a merchant."

"you can't NON-LETHALLY behead someone!"

did you get your clothes

Reverse Kool-Aid Man

DOORS

"just assume if you give it to her you never really wanted it in the first place"

"where was that?"

GIFT

I'm gonna CRY

I'm CRYING

I tormented myself with vax's exit earlier today, why do this to me

"your big moon, your little moon, and whatever comes next" more like put me in the GROUND"

"that's in-character, whoever's etsy page he got that from, it's lovely"

FANTASY PREPPERS

tantrum hole

collapsible guillotine

travis' face for .2 seconds when laura SUGGESTED shopping

8 whole adults

I Love Him

weh

LIAM

how many times is this episode gonna make me cry before break

DON'T LET THEM TAKE YOUR HEART

whisper so hard my stream froze

"what did you do with YOUR makeup kit"

"so you're the captain's best friend?"

nb tief!

swedish nb tief!

"you don't do what we say, we throw you overboard"

"like twenty. so many. they just keep making problems!"

honestly I don't get tommy wiseau from this, they talk too fast

tommy wiseau talks like he's been drunk for 30 years

the henley looks like one of those padded shirts you wear under armor, just bulky and scratchy and blech

"you're scarier than I am, you know that, right?"

Very A Lot

I love them

"hey dad" hey what

is it just Liam Makes Me Cry Day or

dragons

DRAGONS???

SKY EEL

SKY MANTA

what in the treasure planet

"I SHIP IT"

TREASURE PLANET

oh man hands for scale, it BIG

speed of WHAT

WHAT points of piercing

fuckin sky porcupine

I came back to "the cake is a lie", what the fuck

I hate it

everybody looks really good in this lighting

taliesin stop doing that with your arm

demon? demon manta??

"I DON'T LIKE THESE BIRDS"

"because they're POOPHEADS"

WHAT'S GONNA WORK

TEEEEEEEAMWORK

need art of orym doing a pull-up on the ballista

god bless gordi

"I want one!"

FLY

taliesin DID compare her to a summers

(I may or may not be dozing off, idek why orym's overboard)

"everybody alive except laudna?"

laudna: [carves up sky eel] imogen: GROSS :D

"I had a weird dream and was like 'fuck it', that was weird but cool!"

"you did good! you flew!"

listen I know I say this immediately upon meeting every party but I mean this more than I have ever meant it before: CANON POLYAM WHEN

liam

he's milking the creature

"look out, fellow toymakers"

love the mental image of ashton just coming out of the room and being like "…..sure." and keeps going

I've been playing forbidden west so getting specific parts off of creatures is giving me ptsd

"I wanna know your intent" "that implies that she has intent"

laura's face is my face

"it's like trying to birth a cow"

the ROLLS tonight

I love her

don't ruin boba for me matt

matt throwing mental daggers at his description chart

"I had to!" "NO YOU DIDN'T"

"I'm grasping for. eyeballs."

"I feel like you should blame khalil because he's obviously asleep"

"that's not true at all. we start with the toes."

loudna

This Is What Flat Earthers Actually Believe

"who's on top and who's on bottom now" travis

I love laudna so much

delilah want magic rock

aw shit

delilah is why we can't have nice things

oh I was worried that was where her brain would go

this BITCH

"you wanna destroy whitestone because this is how you destroy whitestone"

"I have QUESTIONS"

"I fucked around and I FOUND OUT"

[onnalifestyle02]

We asked women about their orgasms

DO YOU ORGASM EASILY? WHAT ORGASMS DO YOU EXPERIENCE AND DESCRIBE HOW THEY FEEL TO YOU?

Unless you are one of the lucky women who orgasms effortlessly, you might be asking yourself: "Am I the only one who has trouble orgasming?" Sex Toys For Women

Nope, but a lot of women don't discuss it.

We asked women to share how easy or difficult it is to climax and how their orgasms feel.

Here are their answers:

"I can, if I am mentally aroused. If not or not a deep connection then take a little while. What orgasms do you experience and describe how different they feel to you (if you experience more than one type, clitoral, vaginal, cervical, nipple, anal....) I am about 50% clit 50% vaginal."

"I really struggle with orgasm and find it so hard to reach."

"Yes and no. My clit can be too sensitive and touching it sometimes hurts/is very uncomfortable. I know how to touch myself, so I can come in a few minutes. But I've never orgasmed solely thanks to my partner. The best way to orgasm for me is g-spot stimulation + clit stimulation."

"I orgasm frequently and every time I want to, but I wouldn’t call it “easily”. It takes time and I need a very slow, long lead up to orgasm. I usually experience clitoral orgasms, either through touching myself or with my partner’s mouth, and after edging , they can be a super intense full body pleasure release. Screaming, squirting, earth-shattering, and usually multiple. I have also experienced vaginal (way less frequently), but only with my own hand or Onna toy. These are usually less intense and feel a little less pleasurable for me than clitoral orgasms. I have had one nipple orgasm, when I was a teen or in my early 20s…I was masturbating and edging and took a break to rub and roll my nipples. They’re really sensitive and feel so incredible - I usually need nipple stimulation in order to orgasm. When I took a break from rubbing my pussy (so I wouldn’t ruin my orgasm too soon), I played with just my nipples. It felt better and better until I actually fully came just from edging myself to that point and then stopping to touch and rub my nipples. It was a full-blow, full body orgasm, just as if I had still been touching my clit. It felt so fucking good, and I haven’t been able to recreate it yet."

"Clitoral is easy, especially if I am in charge, and vaginal in the right position. Clitoral is like a little mini explosion of energy and vaginal fills up my whole core. I am currently dealing with some loss of sensitivity and the Onna Allure is a dream come true helping me rediscover myself."

"I don’t orgasm easily. I think my body can, and when I masturbate it doesn’t take long. But with someone else there it’s so far nearly impossible for me. (Reason would be trauma). I’m working with myself there to release the tension as I want to experience it with my partner. Mostly I’ve had clitoral orgasms (they feel „sharp“ and are over quick). Lately I’ve been having vaginal orgasms as well, most are still a little shallow (as if my body cannot relax into it) but I’ve had two that were mindblowing. They lasted way longer and I literally lost all other senses for a couple of seconds, so I know my body is capable of that. Working on trauma and tension release to expand my experiences."

"I don't just through penetration, I need to directly stimulate my clit. Which I’m very comfortable taking control of that if they’re not (in whichever position). The deeper (vaginal) orgasms I’ve only really found the past two years, so much better and warmer. And the gspot - similar, soo good."

READ HOW TO HAVE GSPOT ORGASMS HERE

"No, I don't orgasm easily. But when I do, I love vaginal orgasm. They come rolling and I can feel them in my whole body. They leave me exhausted."

"I do think I orgasm quite easily. I don't orgasm from clitoral stimulation solely. But I do experience vaginal, cervical, anal orgasms from penetration (with either a penis or dildo). I've once orgasmed from solely nipple stimulation (this man sucked on my nipples like his life depended on it haha and it was amazing). I do experience orgasms while being stimulated both clitorally and vaginally (using a vibrator on the clit in combination with penetration), but not solely clitoral. I only have a vibrating wand (I don't use vibrating toys internally.) Those orgasms while using a vibrator are very intense though, and I can only have a single one, after that I feel depleted. Vibrators are often just too intense. Clit stimulation with hands or tongue is very very nice, but it doesn't make me come. But every now and then I use the vibe on the clit in combination with an Onna dildo to release stress... Sometimes that feeling of depletion is nice. But using an Onna toy without a vibrator is better. Or, a penis of course. Penetration with a penis or Onna toy either vaginal or anal is actually way better than a vibrator on the clit. Less intense, but so so so much more pleasurable and nourishing and I can keep going and going and going. :-)"

"I can do it! It depends on my mental/emotional connection and stimulation. Clitorial orgasms are usually my go to when time is an issue, and the majority of my self pressure orgasms (although I'd love to have more time to further explore internal orgasms and learning to squirt through self pleasure and onna toys - I have the raven wave and drop) Often these orgasms are achieved by vibrator, or fingers. I love how my whole pussy pulses as I orgasm through clitoral stimulation.

I have internal orgasms as well, my partner makes me cum while he penetrates me. Only in certain positions though. The feeling of internal explosion is sensational. I have only once experienced nipple orgasm, it was erotic and such a slow sensual process. I must try this again!

Anal orgasms happen quite quickly for me, especially during penetrative. It is a different sensation to a vaginal orgasm and while it is so delicious I often feel like my pussy needs some attention as well and I like to orgasm again immediately through clitoral stimulation or I feel as if I am left a little unsatisfied."

 "I do orgasm easily. Clitoral feels very condensed in one area. Vaginal is intense and feels like a whole body experience. Nipple feels like shivers and just yummy, vaginal plus anal play is mind blowing and overwhelming, made me squirt for the first time."

"I never had an orgasm. I grew up in a very religious family so I also don't self-explore (don't know where to start and feels weird) and it's beginning to be a real problem for me. This is also the reason I go from one partner to another, I expect them to make me have an orgasm and feel disappointed when it doesn't happen. I know that It's my responsibility but I just don't know where to start or what to do and my mind just gets frozen around those thoughts when I'm with someone (what is there is something wrong with me, what if it's his fault and I just have to find the right partner, what if it's just something that's never gonna happen for me, etc. )."

"Very easily when it’s clitoral. I experience vaginal orgasms but with help of clitoral stimulation. And it's totally different…like the whole body is involved. I get that with the allure pearl too I don’t think I have experienced any other kind of orgasm. But the more parts of my body are stimulated the better it feels."

"Not at the moment as I’m rediscovering myself outside of a long term relationship. I’ve experienced all those types of orgasms, except nipple perhaps, but mostly clitoral. Vaginal/cervical for me feels deeper, more emotional, while the others are more physical."

"I do now that I'm older and more experienced. i can have these insane clitoral ones being on top and when we continue having sex it gets so much more intense. It's like a minor earthquake and then the big one hits. I had one so hard my entire body shook like i was cold, but wasn't cold at all. I have literally sobbed after and it was so uncontrollable the man didn't know what was happening. I was standing up and this man put his fingers inside of me and I literally squirted everywhere. I have never ever done that. I soaked the entire floor. I just remember it being an instant rush of pleasure and boom, the flood of the century. I was fooling around with this one man and he was giving me such good nipple play that I almost orgasmed. It was so intense and like nothing I've ever felt, or have felt again.  I am pretty sure I've had vaginal orgasms with my toys only. it's like this intense build up then booom your entire body tenses up so hard your sore for a few days haha. I can't be too sure what kind of orgasm but i know that one feels different then the others. when i had an orgasam doing anal i think it came vaginally i didnt know you could have them anally... can you?"

"This is something that I have been working on the past year or two. I would say sometimes. Generally, clitoral orgasm comes easiest, but also have experienced, vaginal, nipple and anal orgasm. Clitoral feels intense but short lived whereas the vaginal seems more full body and long lasting. Nipple orgasm only happened once and it felt different than anything else, not sure how to describe but very pleasurable. Anal orgasm tends to surprise me but is similar to vaginal orgasm and often can feel sensation vaginally as well as anally."

"I didn't use to orgasm easily, I didn't at all in sex actually in my first experiences untill a good time. But now I do almost every time I have sex and it has got easier for me. But mostly only clitoral orgasms. I have experienced vaginal a couple of times but only while getting fingered. And I wanna practice having more of that both alone and with my partner."  

"I orgasm quite easily but I don't experience any other orgasm than clitoral. Although nipple touching gives me incredible pleasure and I enjoy penetration too. Clitoral orgasm feels like a mini explosion specifically located around the clit. It's warm and pretty intense, after the orgasm vaginal muscles contract and pulsate in waves for a while and that is also really pleasurable. Nipple touching sensations... I don't even know how to describe it but it's almost like I can feel it in my teeth. I can become almost immediately aroused from nipple touch. The feeling spreads all over breasts and really intensifies the touching sensations of any other body part. It feels deeper than clitoral pleasure."

"Now I can orgasm quite easily. Funnily enough I thought for like 10 years that I am not even capable of orgasming with a man.  As for how they each feel, I experience different orgasms all the time. Fast clitoral can be kind of just losing some steam and I soon don't even know I had one. If I take longer and better care, maybe stop stimulation before climax a couple times, it can bring me to a whole body experience. It starts in the clitoral area that is really sensitive and somehow releases pressure and becomes pleasurable. But also, I can induce a kind of a wave that goes through the whole body and I think it can be enhanced mentally if you imagine the sense in the clit flowing through the whole body up to your fingers and toes. It takes time and practice but can be pretty amazing.During G-spot and squirting I can almost feel like nothing has happened with the first squirting (I can do it really fast). I learnt it by a mistake when I was only exploring myself in the beginning and since it was not so pleasurable for me and made a mess, I stopped doing it until I found out more from ONNA instagram. Now the longer I practice it in one session, the more pleasurable it becomes. If I combine the G-spot orgasm with clitoral, well that is a complete heaven and I feel like bursting from pleasure. I also have the G-spot orgasm during sex but it does not come with so much squirt, the vaginal area becomes watery but I think it is definitely less then when I actually squirt which I tend to rather stop during sex in bed. I previously thought I can have a vaginal orgasm only with a man, I was very wrong :-D. It is easier with a man and I learnt it with a man but a year ago I had a breakthrough that I can do it solo too :-). As of now, similarly to the G-spot I do not feel it that intensely when it comes the first time. When I first had it with a man, I was not even sure it was an orgasm cause it is really different from clitoral as the main senses are in the vaginal wall and for me it starts to kind of pulsate but I am not sure if it does that every time. Usually the first vaginal orgasm just opens the door to others for me, then it can go into really long ones and again if combined with clitoral when done solo, well I don't think words have been invented for this yet :-D. I still prefer to have it with a man and enjoy the connection to someone else too but it is nice, especially when single, to do what I call a date with myself ;-). I have to be in the mood, also have a lot of time and need to have energy for it. When I am tired, time pressured or not having the place completely for myself, I am not up for it. Nipple or eargasm is fun but I was able to do it usually in the beginning of a relationship and I experience it mainly as a body shivering."

"I don’t. It is hard for me to orgasm clitoral or vaginal solely without stimulation of both. Clitoral feels for me “incomplete”. Vaginal I can’t achieve just from penetration except I am on the edge with arousement. But I love this combination of both clitoral and vaginal orgasms together, it gives me a real relief, especially if I am edging for a long time. Nipple orgasm feels so much feminine, it fills me up with sexual energy for long time. Cervical feels like hitting the special point that moves some energizer inside the whole body. Very beautiful way to connect with a partner. Interesting is that my partner shared how he feels during that time and it is the same feeling, like both bodies fuel up."

READ ABOUT CERVICAL ORGASMS HERE

"Most of my orgasms have been clitoral and I orgasm pretty  easily  during oral sex. Foreplay plays a big part in me orgasming. I've had a squirting  experience with my ex husband, while we were still trying to save our marriage. I felt it was more like an experiment than a connected sexual experience, so I'm looking forward  to experience that again :)"

"If I’m fully aroused and not stuck in my head and feel desired then I do orgasm fairly easily. I experience clitoral which feels like a quick release of tension, vaginal is a bit more warm and lasting, cervical creates a guttural ache in stomach but good feeling, anal is like a deep full relax and just is so vulnerable but just makes it feel so warm and when it’s anal penetration with clitoral it is a full total body release and usually results in squirting and just feels soo good and sends me into the most relaxed fully body state."

"Clitoral seems to come the fastest for me, usually from oral stimulation.  Believe it or not, when he strokes me using his fingers or hands, I orgasm better and faster than if I were to do it myself.  I think I am in too much of a hurry to achieve orgasm, I don’t take the time to explore and enjoy.  He is the first to give me a vaginal orgasm from penetrative sex.  I orgasm very easily from simultaneous stimulation of vaginal and clitoral stimulation.  Throw in some anal play and the orgasm is over the top.  Other play adds to the orgasm, nipple play, anal play but I have yet to experience an orgasm from single stimulation of just my nipples or my ass, but the pleasure it delightful nonetheless.  Cervical orgasm is on my list and he is open to exploring the possibility."

"I have had a clitoral, vaginal and nipple. They all feel differently, Vaginal orgasms are the most intense one, and they feel very looong. Clitoral are more easy to achieve and less intense, but I really enjoy them. Nipple orgasms feel very similar to the clitoral."

"Sometimes. I’ve experienced clitoral, vaginal & nipple orgasms. Clitoral for me is more about the hyper sensitivity of it. Vaginal, my favorite, I love because I actually feel the build up & then the burst and the following pulsing."

"Yes! I know I'm very lucky to be able to orgasm easily and in multiple ways. So far I've experienced clitoral, vaginal, anal, cervical, from nipple play. It used to cause shame for me because I felt easy, but I relish in the ability my body has to feel pure pleasure. Can't say I have a favourite though. They've all been very potent and intimate. what caught me off guard was the first time I came while I was deep throating someone lol."

"I orgasm very easily. Either vaginal or clitoral. I also orgasm when my nipples are stimulated. That takes a little longer and my partner needs patience. My vaginal orgasms are the most intense. It feels like I am about to explode, I can feel how the warmth spreads in my body and it fills me up completely, and my legs (sometimes my whole body) shake afterwards, and I need some time to recover from that. My clitoral orgasms aren’t as intense but still pretty intense though. I was very surprised when I had an orgasm the first time while my nipples were stimulated. I knew that I liked being touched there but didn’t know that I could come from that."

"I don’t orgasm easily with a partner. On the other hand, really easily by myself."

"No that easily. Still aiming to explore other areas (increase vaginal and discover cervical). So far most of my orgasms are clitoral."

"No, not at all. I feel for me it is very hard to have an orgasm, because of my almost daily pain. If I experience an orgasm it is mostly vaginal, and I like it so much (!). My sexual partner knows about my pain, and he does not expect me to have an orgasm, which makes me feel more relaxed. When I don't have a lot of pain, I sometimes have an orgasm, but for me not to have pain and to relax myself is much more important."

"I orgasm easily but only during  masturbation, it's always clitoris orgasm. With a partner for me it's very hard to achieve orgasm even when I feel extreme pleasure."

"I orgasm very easily through clitoris stimulation.Vaginal orgasm feels more internal and deep, not that intense and obvious as clitorial but more like a big wave. I think the anal orgasms I’ve had always occurred with somehow of clitorial stimulation.I almost had one nipple orgasm one time and that’s something I’d like to explore more. Also whole-body orgasms."

"I usually orgasm easily , when I have a deep connection with my partner the orgasms are more powerful and they’re longer, when I self pleasure yes, easy orgasms all the time, but I love the build up , with or without a partner. Clitoral orgasms : they can feel like they’re not spread over my whole body at times, it can feel like only my vulva is climaxing. If I do just clitoral stimulation tantra style with edging , breathing and I concisely focus on the energy I”ll have such a powerful and super long orgasm , so strong it feels like you’re dying and I’m almost fainting from those, they feel like a waterfall of pleasure from head till toe. Vaginal orgasms/cervical orgasms : I’m not sure if I’ve had stronger vaginal orgasms and / or cervical orgasms, in any case those types of orgasms feel like they’re covering my whole body every time, at different levels of intensity. Vaginal orgasms from fingering feel different than vaginal (or maybe cervical) orgasms from penis or toy penetration for me. From fingering I feel a strong short peak followed by a light tingling sensation throughout the entire body, and I feel like the hottest point of the orgasm is at the vaginal opening, but not very deep, it’s a softer orgasm compared to one from penis or toy penetration and doesn’t last as long.  With penis or toy penetration the orgasms feel again like you’re dying , these ones start in the belly though , and you feel like they happen deep into your body, they’re visceral, they’re very strong, they last super long and I feel that sensation of being full combined with waves that have a stronger pressure spreading throughout my entire body You forget what year it is after one of those Anal orgasm : Nope, haven’t had one of those yet."

"I'm a sloooooooow burner. Don't come fast or easy. I mean I still enjoy it and can be fine not coming "deep". 

I can come from clitorial wich feels like a balloon slowly building up in your Venus mountain (or more a balloon of feeling expanding but also engulfing once onsides from the clitoris) and going deep in the body until it burst and it apparently was a warm water balloon and the relaxation release is intense afterwards. And with this all the other muscles "spasms" before and on release. 

Vaginal it just feels like the vagina goes super Saiyan and you unlock invincible mode. Everything feels soooo much and it's kinda mind blown. Until I either squirt a little (no control...yet) or/and it all nums out for a second to explode in "sensation" and then everything is too much for a couple of seconds feeling like eternity. And spasms with every milli movement."

"I find it easy to orgasm and have multiple. I’ve experienced energy orgasms, anal orgasms, breast-gasms, exercise-orgasms, g-spot, cervical and clitoral orgasms. Eye gazing can send me over the edge and sometimes into a crying orgasm. I have an energetic erotic blueprint and have had lots of fun exploring energetic orgasms over the years, their effects are like lighting a candle within me that glows throughout my body. 

The cervical orgasms I’ve had are awe-inspiring, shoot-me-out-into-the-universe experiences that remind me I’m made up of sexual and life force energy in a human body. I feel inspired to create and just Be. 

I mostly experience g-spot/internal orgasms and combine them with clitoral stimulation. They power me with so much sexual energy that I like to edge and expand my pleasure before an orgasm. When I squirt and gush it gives me an emotional release that leaves me feeling lighter, alive and in love with life."

"If I am aroused by my partner, yes. Generally the act and climax is much later than the ideas I begin to fantasize about.  If my partner is doing something outside of bed that is compatible or enhances what turns me on about him, I will be fantasizing. When I am being penetrated I also feel like I am being clitorally stimulated/position myself so I can enjoy penetration and clitoral stimulation or my partner also touches my clit. When I squirt, it does not coincide exactly with the apex of my orgasm, and it feels more like waves of release and I am surprised at the power with which it exits my body. When I masturbate, I tend to only stimulate my clitoris-- I don't get as wet to enjoy penetration when I am flying solo." 

"Didn’t think I did until I stopped using my vibrator and learned to relax. And now I’m very easily orgasmic. I mostly experience clitoral and anal orgasms as I don’t have a vagina or cervix. I get a few different kinds of clitoral ones, my favorites are when my stomach feels like it drops out and I know I’m going to cum and there’s no stopping it. There’s an intense almost I’m about to sneeze sensation in my clit (mostly down the sides) that I love more than orgasm, honestly. I stay here as long as I can and then my body will explode with convulsions. I need a break after these. I also orgasm clitorally where it’s waves of intense pleasure where I squirt at the peak and then instantly go back to almost orgasm and orgasm and squirt again. This is usually when I’m getting eaten. Anal ones are not as intense and I can take back to back to back. They feel deep and ripple through my legs differently than a clitoral. Nipples won’t make me cum but they make me squirt and are essential to my arousal."

"Menopause has been a libido killer in some ways but it’s also given me the chance to explore with sensations and breathing and building up expectation in between. I ejaculate easily if the person knows where to touch me and if his penis gets to that spot. I orgasm via the clitoris which I love and I’ve also had a vaginal orgasm once or twice. I could orgasm from nipple touching but since my breast augmentation that’s not possible anymore."

"Nope. Hate to say that I'm still addicted to my vibrator. Using my Onna wand now to explore internal pleasure, plus I'm learning to use only fingers on my clit but I'm finding it quite challenging to rewire my brain! I've experienced 2 or 3 internal orgasms so I know it's possible."

"I do not orgasm easily.  I do find that the more foreplay there is, the more "ready" I am definitely helps me.  I mostly experience clitoral and anal with a partner, and vaginal/cervical using toys.  I'm still learning what/how I'm capable of, and will continue to do so."

"Never had an orgasm so far :( (Working on it with help from your account though). I think my blockage is that I can’t fully surrender/let go. I am very much in my head and unconsciously afraid of losing control."

"I don’t orgasm easily at all. I get distracted very easily (ADHD) and then have trouble getting back into it. I have only been able to orgasm clitorally and mostly done by myself. Bed partners usually didn’t have enough patience or skills or I lost interest in it. When I was younger and figuring out my body I visualized it as a rose that started to grow and have a bud and the flower bursting open as I had my orgasm. I usually feel it as waves build up. I think I actually like the last two waves of pleasure before I actually orgasm best. The orgasm itself is like an explosion (sometimes a tiny one, sometimes huge). The orgasm doesn’t last that long usually, but my clit does stay sensitive for a while. I haven’t been able to have multiple orgasms yet.

"Clitorally I orgasm quite easily; I did experiment with vibrating toys a lot, liked them when I was younger but after a while found them to be overstimulating and they kill your sensibility. Stopped using them to build up natural sensations. Had never orgasmed vaginally before I got my Onna Allure Pearl (but finally have and I orgasm every single time with it!). Your g spot orgasm guides have been extremely helpful. Extremely curious to find out how my sensations have changed next time I have partnered sex!"

"Clitoral is easy, especially if I am in charge, and vaginal in the right position. Clitoral is like a little mini explosion of energy and vaginal fills up my whole core. I am currently dealing with some loss of sensitivity and the Onna Allure is a dream come true helping me rediscover myself."

"I do orgasm easily, which sometimes was a problem, unfortunately. Nipple orgasms feel edgy and kind of "nervous"; vaginal orgasms are so different! But mostly like high tide, with waves of different heights. Clitoral orgasms are like flames and lightning."

For More Info: Female Ejaculation Guide

[animazingperson]

Waking up is hard. Going to sleep is even harder. When day becomes your night. And night becomes day. My sun is the moon or what get’s through my depression. My moon is the sun so I hide in my room. Till day becomes night once more. I’m sad but I’m trying to be happy. But being happy is hard when no one reaches out and my dreams stay dreams. I dream of a day someone would go out with me and just let me cry. I’m suffering but in silence because now? Now is not my time. It’s ruining the good times of others and making people worried for nothing that I feel like just that. Nothing. I don’t want to die but I want to just cry. My tears flow but they dry faster on my cheeks and cash checks for happiness that is no where to be found. Affirmation that was left at the doors of dismissal. I want someone to be my sun. Because myself I shine bright but candles can only burn so bright. I’m suffering but don’t want to be found. I happy but I only frown because I’m lying to myself. I’m not okay. I need help. Fucking shit man. Mental health awareness when no one checks in? Aware that people suffer this same fate? That many go in silence because we feel worthless. I had a good day. But I want to cry because it was not my day. Can someone spoil me that solemn destiny of being that person? No? Cool. I’d expect that. Dreams staying dreams. Unheard cries for help turn into playing of my emotional state. Unfeeling of what others find happy. I’m not that. I hurt and it sucks. I cry myself to sleep and try to be happy but being happy is hard when sadness is so comforting. Like the sun to my moon it is my solice. The quiet nights the heard nature. At least one of us is heard. I would say god help, but I stopped believing when I noticed dreams stayed dreams. I hate waking up from dreams because they won’t come true. Happiness and adventure full of excitement with peopenbi live. Non existent. Because it never happened. Pain was a crutch I used but I don’t want to go back. I’m fighting the urge but razors are so close. Pinching nails and biting lips never felt more comforting when alone is my “happiness”. My world stopped when I realized, no one will be there for me when I cry myself to sleep. When my world is gone and the one we live in continues how does that feel? Pointless, that it will never mean a thing? It hurts to think that is the ugly. When my world became, “when you grow ups, you have a life of work ahead of you, got a job yet?, and got a girl?” It feels like no one cares about what you feel. Your you feels. Becoming a figure in someone else’s mind of your future. I hate it. I want to say I’m depressed and can’t function and barely motivate myself to progress, but the words become white lies of becoming a teacher. When all I want to be is happy. I hate it here. It’s so ugly. I want to scream but it hurts to make sound because I don’t want to worry anyone. I yell out loud to the mountains only to hear my echoes. A call for help with no response. I feel bad and I don’t like this feeling. It’s suffocating. It’s why I sleep with white noise because I have anxiety that I’ll wake up with someone actually checking in on me being happy. I want that so bad, it makes me sick. I grind my teeth and hold back my tears crying into my pillow thinking about my dreams. I love to much, I care too much, I don’t want to become heartless and stop caring because then what? I’ll become a heartless fucker who spreads hate? I just can’t imagine a world where I live like that. I just want to be better. So heart is on a platter I just hope you don’t break it. —— to end this truth, I want to let you guys know I’m okay. Probably not but I learned to detatch myself from these feelings.This is just a particularly bad day. This is the truth. Spread love. Never let these feelings consume your close friends even strangers. Truth be told I wouldn’t wish these feelings upon my worst enemy. Much love y’all. Check in on your peeps. A little motivation goes a long way constantly when people struggle in silence. Not in fear of stigma, but of self worth.