#I prob would kick you if you asked if just feel really bad but I’d still take care of u after cuz I don’t want you to get hurt

[thxnks4themrms]

Me after kicking the shit out of my friends

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Dancing 'Til the Break of Dawn - Pt 13

<Pt12

(TWST Zombie apocalypse AU where Yuu beast tames just a little too close to the sun)

His heart pounded in his throat. He struggled to swallow around it.

Slowly, Trey lifted his hands in surrender, giving a nervous smile.

Yuu took a long, deep breath. He realized, abruptly, that he had actually stopped breathing for a second there. Thought that that was probably a bad thing. He took another breath, just to get more oxygen in his system, so the black dots dancing in his vision would stop annoying him.

And then he smiled back, dragging the knife away. “Whoops! Sorry! Didn’t mean to do that!”

“You – you didn’t mean to threaten him?” Riddle asked, incredulously.

Yuu lifted his hands in a shrug. “Everyone has moments where they strongly consider murdering someone. It’s just easier when you have a knife on hand. You know how it is.”

“I don’t, actually,” said Riddle.

“That’s the problem,” Yuu said, cheerfully.

“The prob –?! You’re unstable,” Riddle said.

“I mean, I disagree, but who isn’t these days anyway?” Yuu shrugged.

Riddle’s face flushed. “I’m not.”

“You’re living in a simulation of what the world once was. It’s an illusion. And illusions can be shattered. What happens then? That’s literally a textbook example of instability. You like textbooks, right? You should know this!”

Riddle’s grip tightened on his knife.

“Yuu…” Cater said, slowly, a quiet warning.

It was nice that he was trying to help, Yuu supposed. It was unfortunate that the person Cater was trying to advise was him, though.

“You’re not better than us,” Yuu continued to say, smiling. “In fact, you're currently worse than us in pretty much every way. We can all survive on our own, for months, but you? You’d die immediately. How does it feel, knowing all those years of learning what’s ‘polite’ and alllll that pain was worthless, in the end?”

Riddle lunged for him, knife pointed outwards.

So died Riddle’s mental stability, according to his own standards.

Yuu had plenty of time to appreciate the irony, because he had been entirely prepared for this outcome, and dodged the incoming attack with ease.

“You're too easy to provoke,” Yuu commented. “Not a great trait to have during the apocalypse. Things that can be settled peacefully should be. It’s best to play it safe wherever possible.”

The butterfly knife slashed through the air.

“As for your actual fighting prowess. You telegraph your moves too much,” Yuu said, watching the blade flash by his face with a muted kind of boredom. He looped around Riddle, kicking him in the back, watching him stumble. “Don’t even get me started on your form.”

Riddle’s lips pulled back in a snarl.

He whirled around.

Only to find Ace standing over him, a knife pointed directly between his eyes. The momentary surprise was more than enough for Deuce to kick the weapon out of his hand.

The knife skipped across the floor, hitting the wall with a dull thud.

Yuu crouched down, briefly, to pick up the weapon, flipping it closed. He stuffed it into his pocket for safekeeping.

(Free knife! Ace was going to love him.)

“And, of course, your situational awareness could use work,” he finished, crossing his arms over his chest. “Basically, you’re not suited for this world. If I’m able to beat you in a fight, then anyone can. Trey is the only reason you’re still here today. I’d say you should thank him, but it’s partially his fault you’re like this, soooooo...”

Riddle scowled. "So, let's say I'm bad at fighting."

"I just did," Yuu said.

"My talents lie elsewhere. Is that really such a big problem?"

“You would have done great in the corporate world,” Ace said. Then, he shrugged, grinning. “This isn’t that.”

This will probably never be that again.

(Not that Yuu and Ace would say that aloud. Not in front of Deuce, at least.)

Deuce sighed. “What my friends are trying to get at, I think, is that rules are nice -.”

Ace snickered. "I have never in my life tried to convey that rules are 'nice'."

“... and it’s good to have a moral code. But adaptability is important.”

“But – but I –!”

“No one wants to be in the apocalypse,” Deuce said. “But we’re here, now. All you can do is try your best to come out the other side in one piece.”

It was silent as Trey and Riddle took in the new perspective. Considering Yuu had risked a stabbing to explain his point of view, he really hoped that he'd gotten it through their skulls. If that hadn't done it then, frankly, Riddle and Trey could die as victims of their own stupidity. Yuu had done enough to fill his 'good person quota' for the month. He was officially done.

Yuu clapped his hands together. “Anyways!” He said, brightly, as if the argument had never happened. “Do you guys know where the nearest subway entrance is?”

“You’re – you’re just going to say all of that and then leave?” Riddle said, incredulously.

“Yep!” said Ace, popping the ‘P’.

“Aren’t you scared I won’t listen to your advice?” Trey asked.

“Not our problem,” Ace shrugged.

“Besides, Cater’s staying, so even if you do relapse, at least Rosehearts-senpai will have company.”

Cater blinked. “How do you know that?”

“Cater. You had a whole broadcasting station. It's pretty obvious you were dying for some friends,” Deuce said, rolling his eyes.

“And our friend group is already full, so don’t even think about coming with us,” Ace added.

Cater raised an eyebrow. “In the nicest way possible, you three are the most stressful people I’ve ever met. Pass. At least Trey here can bake.”

“At least one of those stressful events was your fault. You shot Yuu,” Ace reminded him.

“Get over it. That was, like, last week.”

“Yeah, honestly, Ace, it’s not like you haven’t tried to kill me, too,” said Yuu. Mostly just for the sake of annoying Ace – it was unlikely that he would ever see Cater again after this, so there were no downsides to pretending he was above holding a grudge.

Trey frowned. “Am I the only person that hasn’t tried to kill you here?”

“Ehhhhhh, Cater wasn’t really aiming at me, so I don't know if he really counts. But, either way, no, Deuce hasn’t tried to murder me. He did try and keep me captive for a while, like you did, but…” Yuu snapped his fingers, turning to look at Riddle. “Oh! Before I forget! Rosehearts-senpai! Cooking oil makes a great accelerant for fire.”

“What’s wrong with you?” Trey asked.

“I be in situations.”

~

“Grim!” Yuu cheered the moment his eyes landed on the zombie, which had been pacing just outside of the apartment complex. He hugged his child to his chest, beaming. “Look at you,” he cooed, scratching him behind the ears. “You’re just as cute as the day I last saw you!”

“It’s been, like, a few hours,” Deuce said.

Yuu sniffed. “Ignore him, baby, he’s just jealous he doesn’t have a super cool zombie cat of his own.”

Ace pulled on his jacket, the tension in his shoulders melting away as he hugged himself. Or maybe he was hugging the knives taped to the inside of the jacket. It didn’t make that much of a difference either way.

“You’re both sick,” Deuce complained.

“You’re our friend! Sick by proxy!” Yuu said, pointing and laughing at the idiot who had allowed himself to be contaminated.

Deuce rolled his eyes, hefting his bat over his shoulder. “I’ve recently learned that you forgive murder attempts. Care to test it out?”

Yuu squeaked. “What, you want to kill me? Then you’d be giving the title of 'least dangerous' to Trey of all people, and I don’t think you want that.”

Grim growled.

Yuu smoothed his bristling fur. “Shhhhh, don’t, you’ll get your teeth dirty if you kill him.”

“Prick,” Deuce complained.

Something occurred to Yuu. He looked at Grim. “Hey, Trey gave us directions and a few recipes, so you can’t kill them.”

Grim sulked in his arms.

Yuu shook his head, something fond tugging at the corners of his lips. He pressed another kiss to the top of the zombie’s head. “It’s just three people. If you’re that desperate for food, you should downsize your army.”

“Yuu, are you a communist?” Ace teased.

“No, I just believe that if you can’t afford to give everyone a livable wage you shouldn’t be in business.”

“... that feels like communism,” said Ace.

Yuu considered this. “Maybe? What is communism?”

It was then that the three teens realized: they had no clue.

“Uhhhhh… bad?” said Deuce.

“It’s that thing Americans hate,” offered Ace.

“I love communism,” Yuu decided.

And, since his plan was to retrace his steps in hopes of finding the convenience store again, and he would therefore be going past his old high school, he might just get the chance to look up his newfound political ideology.

“Everyone ready?” Deuce asked.

Yuu hummed, glancing back towards the apartment complex. No one was in the window.

No one would see, then.

Yuu retrieved Cater’s gun from the bush.

He exchanged smirks with Deuce and Ace.

And then they took off running, laughing evilly to themselves.

~~~~~

Pt14>

[sommerregenjuniluft]

20 asks for fic writers

thank u @plecotusauritus, @kaaaaaaarf, @pinkthekla & @kaleidoscopexsighs for tagging me🥹<3 ily all

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

four but we only talk about three of those😌🤘🏼

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

about 13.8k words (i have no idea where to look this up i typed it into my phone calculator lmao)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

on my ao3 marauders, in the Docs marauders, haikyuu, atla and on Wattp*d🤬 young royals & shera lol (i was like 15 years old ok)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

🤓 my number 1 though is Always Pushing her Luck with a stellar one hundret and ten because yall are some sluts for a good lesbian smut fic

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes!! i love interacting with people on art no matter if it’s theirs or mine<3

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

hmm i think Teeth actually? not really angsty but maybe it kind of makes you go 😬😳 or WAIT maybe my very first jeg microfic thing, the Stag one yknow.. where James is dead😁

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

again, from my ao3 one’s probably Ribs but microfics probably just all the fluffy ones, i’m looking at the cookie baking one here esp, also Walk and Carry

8. Do you get hate on fics?

nope! but i was lowkey concerned for the new non-con fic jdkskd But so far so good hahah

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

why yes i do. mm mostly the unhinged kind in some way hdksks but ig the lesbian wolfstar one is very tender too<3

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

not crossovers per se but we love a good AU of another fandom universe, my marauders Maze Runner Au is very dear to me, we’ll see if she ever sees the light of the day

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge no

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nopesie

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no but! i will have to kick @pinkthekla cass and me in the ass to make it happen someday because the world deserves to see one james potter horny and humbled

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

this changes all the time honestly and they’re all very very close to each other but i’m gonna have to say iwaoi on top because their chemistry is just unmatched and something i hold so close to my heart, they just mean a lot of comfort to me! so thats prob why

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

hm, i mean i’m only 20 i have all the time in the world. but perhaps that one barty in a maids dress smut one shot? not sure i’ll come back to that one again but who knows!

16. What are your writing strengths?

i think i can do a dialogue quite good but it’s hard for me to get into a zone or scenario where it comes to that naturally, but whenever it does happen? i’m super happy and proud of the result (that’s why i like my hitmen jegulus microfic so much)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

probably that i’m not really good at creating a storyline/plot djskks that’s something that does Not come easily to me and probably one of the only reasons i havent really finished any of my big fics or even their first chapters. If i have a plan/ a prompt or something in general i can orientate myself off of it flows super easily (all the microfics and Ant Pile) but coming up with something of my own is very hard and i often feel kinda bad about it too :,))

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

would love to, i have some smol things planned for mira mi amor that i will probably go and bother @appreciatedmoron bea about as well as my two irl bsfs since they’re quite good at spanish but besides that i’d only really trust myself with german since thats my first language

19. First fandom you wrote for?

actually shera i think

20. Favorite fic you've written?

i really love Ant Pile atm but from my published one’s i couldnt really choose actually djsksk i really like the metaphors and visuals i came up with in Ribs though <3

np tagging: @rottin6, @maliceofminds, @strezzlecki aand idk anyone that sees this and hasn’t been tagged yet!! (i see yall liking these i Will bully u in the dms)

[sanchoyo]

aaaa

today on my lunch break I was trying to clean up my old bookmarks on my browser and started getting all nostalgic looking at how much RV stuff I had bookmarked a few years ago. Like …I don’t know if I’d realistically want to live in one at this point (or rather if I COULD even prices and cost of living allowing, given my …anxieties…to put it mildly) but having fantasies abt it got me thru a whole lot of shit in 2019-2020… its still a cute concept even given my . um. apprehensions after thinking abt it more lmao

then for funsies I looked up apartment costs and got real depressed lol. Like I know my job isn’t livable wages (part time and all) but living w parents can be hell sometimes. And the kicker is, the area I’m in is one of the cheaper ones in the country!!! Like it’s NOT a big city!! My mom complained our landlady raised the rent a few years ago and now the rent is ~almost 500$~ for a three bedroom house and I’m like. You are so out of touch (respectfully) if you saw the prices of studio apartments that are like 250 sq ft being 800-1000$ u would faint. (Granted our house sucks and has a ton of problems that are kinda Bad but…LIKE…) when our landlady kicks it I just know her son is gonna match our rent to the standard too and idk how my parentsll deal w that 😭

idk. Just made myself kinda depressed bc I do want to move out. I do wanna be independent. But with this job (that’s already kinda…not steady or dependable on hours or even just firing ppl at random lol) I def could not afford it if I consider vehicle payments and food and stuff. I just. Agh… watching cute living alone vlogs on my lunch break didn’t help either 😥 the longing is real today 💔 I’ll never be a grindset work all the time person and ik I prob can’t do too much without burning out severely, but I really do want to try to up my income thru-out the next year… (and like, ik im not in a BAD position rn, not everyone even CAN live with their parents up to this age and most ppl have to pay their own bills, etc, where im only paying part of that, so maybe I should try being grateful yk. I Try To Be)

& I know roommates are a Thing but that also makes me nervous 4 a lot of reasons too. I just. Want to live alone to see if I can!! I want to decorate my own space and listen to music and not be told when to do things or worry someone will let my cat out!! I want to be able to go places without having to ask permission to use someone’s car or explain where and have time limits!! I’m almost!! 27!! Next year!!! I shouldn’t have to do all that im Tired of it!! And Sad a lil bit. Idk. At least my job is offering overtime this week again so that’s kinda nice…(also the reason I havent been on a lot lol, trying to make Money and feeling a ll drained) I think I’ll get myself a lil treat at the end of the week to make myself feel better and as a reward for being Good and actually Working. Like. A donut or smth… 🧍🏻

[albertasunrise]

Mistakes - Chapter 1

Summary: You’d known it was a bad idea to get involved with Javier Peña. You were just another notch on his bedpost but you were a notch he kept revisiting. You know you should have stopped it, declined his offers to rock your world but you couldn’t and now you had to deal with the consequences. Consequences that you knew he would refuse to accept.

Warnings: Angst, References to sex, Unplanned Pregnancy, Mentions of Abortion

Pairings: Javier Peña x Reader

§

As you stared at those two lines you felt your stomach twist. How was this happening? You’d been careful, always using protection so how was it that you were now looking at a positive pregnancy test. You’d known it was a bad idea to get involved with Javier Peña. You were just another notch on his bedpost but you were a notch he kept revisiting. You know you should have stopped it, declined his offers to rock your world but you couldn’t and now you had to deal with the consequences. Consequences that you knew he would refuse to accept.

‘Fuck.’ You sobbed as you placed the test down and picked up the other, it too telling you the same thing ‘Shit… What am I going to do?’

Were you ready to be a mum?

Should you get rid of it?

No, you’d never be able to do that.

You knew you had to tell him but how? How were you supposed to tell the most desired man at the embassy that your casual relations with him had led to this? A baby

You walked from the bathroom and sank onto the couch, placing the tests on the coffee table as you let your tears flow freely now. You were pulled from your cries by a knock at the door and after wiping your tears and letting out a few shaky breaths you answered, not getting a chance to see who it was but the familiar lips on yours told you. He kissed you with fervour but you can’t return it, you don’t want to and he senses that quickly.

‘What's the matter Cariño? He asked as he kissed down your neck ‘I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you all day.’

‘Don’t Javi.’ You said as you pushed him off of you, avoiding his gaze as you made your way back to the couch.

‘What the hell is up with you?’ He growled, angered by your rejection of his advances.

‘Javier please.’ You sobbed then, throwing your face into your hands.

Javier’s stomach sank, his anger replaced with worry as he sprinted to your side and dropped to his knees in front of you, missing the two sticks of plastic on your coffee table. He grabbed your hands and pulled them from your face, cupping it in his hands as he lifted it so your eyes were level with his.

‘What's going on?’ He asked, brow furrowed in concern ‘Has something happened?’

You could only nod, eyes settling on the tests that sat just behind him. His gaze followed yours and stopped on the offending items, eyes growing wide as he saw what they said and his head quickly whipped back to face you.

‘You’re?’

You nodded, letting out another sob as your hand unconsciously came to rest on your belly.

‘Who’s is it?’ He asked and this made you look up at him in disbelief.

‘Who’s do you think?’

‘Well, I don’t know who else you've been sleeping with.’ He grumbled and you gave him a chilling look before shifting out of his grasp.

‘Fuck you, Javier.’ You spat, shoulders shaking as you walked to your kitchen.

‘What?’

‘I haven’t slept with anyone else Javi.’ You announced, the cogs in his mind whirring ‘I haven’t been with anyone but you. Men don't exactly throw themselves at me.’

‘But we-.’ He paused as he took in the information ‘No this isn’t possible. How?’

‘I don’t fucking know Javi.’ You snapped ‘Condoms aren’t a hundred per cent effective, everyone knows that. I guess one failed.’

‘I…Uh.’ He stuttered, unsure of what to say ‘I’ll speak to Connie.’ He said finally ‘See if we can get you booked in for a termination.’

‘A termination?’

‘Well you’re not seriously considering keeping it are you?’ He inquired, his tone exasperated ‘I mean you’re in no position to raise a kid. We should get rid of it.’

‘Get the fuck out.’

‘Cariño.’

‘OUT!.’

‘Please just think about this. We can’t have a baby together. We fuck casually, I don’t want a relationship and I certainly don’t want a kid. I can’t give you what you want. You’ll be alone in this.’

‘That's fine Javi. I guessed I would be.’ You growled ‘You have no right however to tell me to get rid of it. I’m going to have this baby with or without you. Just know that they’ll never know you. I refuse to let them know a father that told me to get rid of them… Now get the fuck out of my house.’

‘Cariño.’

‘GO!.’

He left and you stood there, seething on the spot. You knew he wasn’t going to react well but you'd never expected him to suggest you terminate it. That had never been an option for you. You sobbed a little at the knowledge you’d be doing this alone, suddenly very aware of how alone you really were and after glancing at the clock and seeing was barely seven you decided to pay Connie a visit.

…

‘You’re what?’ She exclaimed, a little shocked by the news you'd just told her.

‘I was surprised too.’

‘Who’s is it?’

‘Connie…’

‘It’s Javi’s isn't it?’

‘Well, I haven’t been with anyone else since I arrived here a year ago.’ You confirmed and she gasped.

‘You told him?’ She asked

You nodded.

‘How did he take it?’

‘Told me to get rid of it.’

‘He what?’ She yelled and you flinched a little ‘Sorry.’ She apologised.

‘He said he doesn’t want a relationship, which I already knew, and that he doesn’t want kids. Told me it was for the best but it was never an option for me Con. I figured I’d be raising this baby alone. Just never thought he'd tell me to terminate it.’

‘He’s a fucking idiot.’ Piped up Steve, sipping from his beer ‘I can kick the shit out of him if you like.’

‘And what will that achieve?’ You chuckled ‘No, it's fine. This baby will never know him.’ You declared ‘I’ll make sure of it. It’ll never feel unwanted.’

~

Connie managed to get an appointment in the clinic for you to get your first scan and even attended it with you. As you lay were, shivering from the jelly that the doctor had squirted on your stomach it all became very real to you. Placing the prob on your skin, she started to move it around and you fixed your eyes on Connie, nerves starting to get the better of you.

Then you heard it.

‘There we are.’ Said the doctor as she turned the screen ‘See that little shape there?’ You nodded ‘That’s your baby.’ She stated ‘Judging from this I'd say you’re around 9 weeks along. Strong heartbeat. Everything looks good.’

‘Wow.’ Said Connie, her eyes glued to the screen ‘That’s the most wonderful thing I think I’ve ever seen, don’t you think?’

‘Yeah.’ You replied, letting out a choked sob as you watched your baby on the screen.

‘I shall print some pictures for you.’ Said the doctor, smiling at you both ‘Would you like some too?’ She asked Connie and the woman nodded eagerly.

…

‘So that thing there that looks like a cashew… that’s the baby?’ Asks Steve, nose scrunched as he studied the pictures.

‘Yup.’ You replied, grinning at him ‘I’ve grown a cashew.’

Connie giggled at that, refreshing your lemonade as you glanced at the pictures yourself.

‘Still can’t believe that there’s a tiny being growing inside of me.’ You said, a few stray tears slipping down your cheeks ‘I love them so much already and I haven’t even met them properly yet.’

‘It’s going to be so loved.’ Said Connie ‘I’ve already bought a tone of wool to knit it some cute bits.’

‘I didn’t know you knit!’

‘Ahhhh.’ Said Steve, waving the picture at you ‘She’s a woman of mystery my wife!’

~

‘Gah!’ Squealed Connie as you walked out of the changing room ‘Look at that bump!’ She squealed with excitement ‘How have you been hiding that from us?’

Connie had dragged you out to find a dress for the office Christmas Party. You really didn’t want to go, you were four months pregnant and still suffering from sickness a little but Connie had begged you to come shopping with her and that’s when she’d found this dress for you. A pale mint green that suited your complexion perfectly.

‘Baggy t-shirts and loose blouses my friend.’ You replied with a wink ‘What do you think?’ You asked as you gave her a twirl, the sundress accentuating your growing belly ‘Doesn’t just make me look fat does it?’

‘NO!’ She practically screamed ‘You are glowing.’

‘Do we have to go to this party?’ You groaned ‘I can’t drink so it's going to be a bore for me.’

‘I’ll stay sober with you!’ announces Connie, determined to convince you to come.

‘Is Javi going?’

‘Doubt it.’ She replied ‘Not really his scene.’ She paused, pulling her best puppy eyes ‘Please.’

‘Fine.’ You groaned ‘But you have to stay sober.’

‘Promise.’

~

‘You said he wouldn’t be here.’ You snapped at Connie, seething at the sight of Javier drinking at the bar with Steve.

The hall was decorated with traditional Christmas decorations, a large tree at the centre of the far wall twinkled with fairy lights that gave an aura of magic to the room.

‘I said I doubted he’d come.’ She retorted, raising her hands in mock surrender.

‘I need to leave.’

‘No, you’re here now. Come on.’ She begs ‘You don’t have to speak to him.’

You’d managed to avoid him pretty well since announcing to him that you were having his baby and he’d avoided you too. Steve kept you up to date and you knew that he hadn’t asked about you or the baby and that had made it crystal clear for you. You really were in this alone. There had been a small part of you that hoped he'd change his mind, tell you he wanted this. Wanted you but you knew you were fooling yourself. Javier Peña doesn’t settle and he certainly wouldn’t settle for a girl like you.

‘Come on, let's get us a drink.’

‘No alcohol remember.’ You remind her, and she rolled her eyes.

‘Yes, I know.’ She groaned.

You noticed Javier looking at you from the corner of your eye when you approached the bar but you didn’t return his gaze, you kept your eyes fixed on Connie as you flagged down the barman with one hand and cradled your bump with the other. Thumb stroking the fabric that covered your swell.

…

Javier studied you as Steve talked to him about a game he’d caught on the weekend. You looked good. Simple makeup, hair up in a loose bun with few curls framing your face and the sundress you wore suited you perfectly. As his eyes trailed over your body before they settled on your hand, the way it sat on your stomach highlighting your growing bump.

‘She’s showing.’ He said suddenly as his eyes growing wide, stopping Steve dead.

‘What?’ He asked, a little confused at the change of subject.

‘She’s showing.’ He said again and Steve followed his gaze to you, also noting your swollen stomach.

‘Shit yeah, she is.’ He replied, smiling to himself ‘You’ve been a fucking ass to her.’

“What?’ Javier snapped.

‘She’s four months pregnant with your baby and not once have you asked how she is. How the pregnancy’s going. Nothing.’

‘I don’t want it.’

‘Doesn’t fucking matter Javi.’ Steve scolded ‘You are that babies father and you’re doing fuck all to help her. What would your dad think if he knew?’

‘Steve-.’

‘She’s fine by the way. In case you do give a shit.’ He interrupted ‘Con’s been taking really good care of her. Went to her first scan, got her a bunch of books. Been arranging all her appointments for her.’ He took a swig of his whiskey ‘Baby’s doing well too. Cooking nicely.’

‘That’s great’ Javier growled, downing the last of his drink and storming out.

…

You noticed him leave but you didn't care. If anything, you were relieved. The rest of the evening went fairly well after that. He did come back but he avoided you and you did the same. You danced, you laughed and you enjoyed yourself for the first time in that felt like years, your worries melting away. For a night you didn't worry about the future. The fact that you had no family to help you raise the baby or that its father didn't want it. You just focused on your friends, the music and yourself.

~

‘Thank you for arranging this Con.’ You said as you took her hand ‘You’ve been so amazing.’

It had been a month since the Christmas party and you’d not seen Javier since. You were a little surprised that you hadn’t run into him in the hall since your apartments were across from each other but you suspected that wasn't an accident but it didn't bother you. He was going you the space you’d demanded.

‘What are best friends for?’ She replied, smiling at you sweetly.

‘Well, they don’t normally arrange all your antenatal appointments for you.’

‘I work at the clinic.’ She chuckled ‘Easy for me to sort it for you.’ She gave your hand a squeeze ‘You nervous?’

‘A little.’ You confessed ‘Last time I was here they were teeny.’ You continued ‘Now look at me.’ You finished as you motioned to your very visible bump.

‘You’ll be able to learn the sex.’ Connie stated and you looked at her with comically wide eyes ‘You want to know?’

‘More than anything.’ You admitted ‘Been killing me not knowing. Makes getting for it things hard.’ You giggled.

Your name was called and you were led into a familiar room where you laid on the bed and lifted your shirt like before, hissing at the cold of the jelly again. She places the probe on your belly and moved it around, finding the baby quickly this time. You swooned at the sound of their heartbeat, the consistent thump making your own race.

‘Oh my.’ Squealed Connie ‘Look at it.’ She lamented, tears trickling down her cheeks ‘Hi.’ She giggled when its hand came into view.

‘Would you like to know the sex?’ The doctor asked and you nodded, trapping your bottom lip between your teeth as they focused on the screen again ‘Well it looks to me like you’re having a baby girl.’ She said after a few moments, turning the screen so you could see better ‘Congratulations.’

‘A girl?’ You asked, eyes widening and the doctor nodded.

‘Mhmm.’

‘You’re having a girl.’ Connie squealed and you look up at her with tear-filled eyes.

‘I’m having a girl.’ You grinned, laughing as you sobbed with joy.

‘I’ll print lots of pictures again.’ The doctor said, grinning at your reaction.

You practically skipped out of the clinic pictures in hand and Steve waved at you as you clambered into his truck, giggling as Connie shoved the pictures into his hand.

‘Well, now I can tell it’s a baby.’ He said and you rolled your eyes.

‘That's my daughter you’re talking about.’ You declared and he turned to face you and beamed.

~

‘You boys done?’ Asked Connie as she stopped beside the table, noting that Steve had eaten all his food but Javier had barely touched his.

They’d been pouring over paperwork and pictures for hours and coming up empty-handed. Running a hand through his hair, he looked up at his partner’s wife and gave her a weak smile.

‘Um yeah… Thanks, Con.’

‘Nah come on, finish your food.’ Grumbled Steve ‘You’ve not eaten all day.’

‘I guess I just don’t have much of an appetite.’ Stated Javier as he pushed his plate away.

He hadn’t had one since he’d seen you at that Christmas party. Seeing you there glowing, round with his child, had brought out all these feelings in him that he was struggling with. He wasn’t sure what it was he was feeling but he knew that he missed you. Pined for you. That was painfully clear to him.

‘You never do.’ Steve retorted, pulling him from his thoughts ‘You live off of ex and Whiskey. Amazed you’re not thinner.’

‘Fuck off Murphy.’ He growled, grabbing his beer and drinking the last of it before placing it down on the counter in the kitchen ‘Thanks for Din…’ He trailed off as his eyes caught sight of your sonogram pictures, your name and the date above the very clear image of a baby ‘Is this?...’

‘Your baby?’ Snapped Steve and Javier flinched at his change in tone ‘Yup.’

‘She had her 20-week scan yesterday.’ Said Connie softly, watching the way Javier’s eyes softened as he studied the image ‘Here.’ She handed him some more pictures and there was one that caught his attention in particular, a very visible hand above them giving the illusion that they were waving ‘She’s already waving and she’s not even been born yet.’ Connie chuckled as she grabbed his bottle and placed it in the glass bin.

‘She?’ He said suddenly, head whipping up to look at Connie with tears pooling in his eyes ‘It’s a girl?’

‘Yeah.’ She replied, grinning as she nodded excitedly ‘Got so many patterns to do and now I can buy some girly wool. Can’t believe there’s going to be a baby around here soon!’

His hand flew up to his mouth as he let out a sob, eyes returning to the picture that now shook in his grasp as tears splash on its shiny surface. This was a life he’d helped create and it was growing inside of you. He realised how stupid he’d been and he suddenly felt overwhelmed.

‘Hey.’ Said Connie softly as she pulled him into a hug and he sobbed against her shoulder, his body shaking as he cried.

‘I’m going to have a daughter.’ He sobbed ‘And she’ll never know who I am.’

‘You can change that Javier.’ Said Connie, pulling away to look him in the eye ‘You still have a chance to be part of this baby’s life but you need to do something about it.’

‘They’re better off without me.’

‘Seeing these pictures here, how do they make you feel?’ She questioned, glancing at Steve who is watching his partner carefully.

‘I don’t know.’ He answered honestly.

‘When you see her. The baby girl that you helped create. Do you want to know her?’ She asked, hand on his arm rubbing comforting circles.

‘Yes.’ He choked out, eyes drifting up to Connie.

‘Then there is your answer.’ She stated ‘You have a chance to be a part of your daughter’s life but only if you act.’

‘She said I’d never know them.’ He sobbed ‘She swore it.’

‘You had just told her to get an abortion.’ Piped up Steve and Connie threw him an angry look.

‘How about I speak to her. Arrange for the three of us to sit down and talk this all out.’ She suggested and Javier nodded weakly ‘Give me a few days.’

‘Okay.’

~

‘Absolutely not!’ You yelled, angry tears streaming down your cheeks ‘I don’t want to speak to him.’

‘But-.’

‘No buts Con.’ You snarled ‘He wants nothing to do with her and she’ll never know him.’

‘He saw your ultrasound pictures the other night.’ She stated and you looked at her with a confused expression, unsure of where this was going ‘He sobbed when he learned that you’re having a girl. I slipped up when he saw the waving picture. He cried his eyes out. He wants a chance to be a part of her life. You need to give him that chance hun.’ She pleaded ‘Just come round tonight. We’ll talk it out and see what happens.’

‘Why does he suddenly care?’

‘I think the ultrasound made it more real for him.’ She said, shrugging slightly ‘I think him seeing those pictures made him realise he wants this. He just hadn’t known before.’

‘Fine.’ You grumbled ‘But if he steps even a toe out of line, I will make sure he never meets her.’

‘Shit, okay…’ Connie breathed, a little taken aback by your statement ‘See you later.’

~

You sat nervously at Connie’s table, waiting for Javier to arrive. She’d decided that dinner was perhaps not the best way to talk things through, too many ways to get out of not saying anything at all. You rubbed your swollen belly, feeling your stomach twist in knots as you ran through the possible scenarios for how this would go. You weren’t expecting him to confess his love for you and the two of you skip away together, one big happy family. You weren’t sure what you were expecting.

‘That’s him.’ Said Connie as a knock sounded at the door and you felt your heart begin to race.

‘Just breath.’ You said to yourself, glancing up as Connie and Javier appeared through the doorway.

‘Hi.’ He said gingerly, rubbing the back of his neck as he oozed nervousness.

‘Hi.’ You replied, short and curt.

‘Javi why don’t you sit down.’ Said Connie as she pointed to the chair across from you ‘I’ll grab you a beer.’

‘Thanks.’ He replied, giving her a quick nod before taking a seat.

‘How are you?’ He asked in an attempt to break the silence and you rolled your eyes at him.

‘Really?’

‘What?’

'It’s been 5 months and now you want to do small talk?’

‘Carino I-.’

‘I’d appreciated it if you didn’t call me that.’ You growled ‘I’m not your sweetheart.’

‘Here.’ Said Connie as she placed the beer in front of him and he gave her a weak smile.

‘Thanks.’

You all sat there in awkward silence before Connie finally decided that enough was enough. She slammed the sonogram pictures on the table along with some shoes she’d clearly knitted herself. They were tiny and brought tears to your eyes as you studied them. A pale pink with white toes and a large brown wooden button fastened them shut.

‘We all know why we're here.’ She began, sitting back in her chair and crossing her arms ‘You are having a baby together. Javier, you have made some big mistakes in how you dealt with the news but I know that you want to make amends and you want a chance to be involved.’ She paused and he glanced up at her before looking at you with the saddest expression you’d ever seen ‘Hun I understand why you’re upset with him. When you first told me what he’d said I almost stormed down there to castrate him myself.’ That made Javier wince ‘But you need to do what’s best for her.’ She declared as she leaned forward and lifted one of the scans so you could see it more clearly ‘You’re going to be parents in less than four months. Don’t you want to give your baby the best possible start? With both her of parents in her life?’

‘Javi’s married to the job.’ You grumbled and he winced at the fact you were about him as if he wasn't there ‘I don’t want to do this alone. I am terrified, but I can’t be worrying about him letting me and the baby down.’

‘May I speak?’ He pipped up and both you and Connie looked at him, your expression expectant ‘I did fuck up. I freaked out. I came to Columbia to make a difference, I never expected to meet someone that I’d come to care for and I certainly never expected to end up having a baby with said person. I won’t lie. I was sure I didn’t want it. I genuinely thought it would be better off without me but when I saw you at the party, your small bump under that dress I realised how much I missed you and how much I was missing out on.’ He paused, scraping a hand over his tired face ‘When I saw these I felt something I’d never expected to feel. I felt a swell of happiness inside as I looked at my baby and when Connie told me it was a girl… Well.’ He paused again, looking down at the sonogram in his hand ‘I knew that I wanted to be a part of her life. I want it all.’

‘Javier-.’

‘I’m not expecting you to take me back.’ He interrupted and you sat there with your mouth hanging open ‘But I want to be there for you... For you both. If you’ll let me.’

‘I uh-.’ You sit there with a gobsmacked expression plastered over your face.

You’d not expected that.’

‘I want to be there when she comes, hold your hand as you push our baby girl into this world. I want to hold her when she cries, sing her to sleep, albeit badly, and I want to support you. Take some of the load. I didn’t realise how much I wanted this, wanted her until I was faced with the possibility of never being able to have it.’

You sit there in silence. Tears rolling down your cheeks as you and Javier gaze at each other, a small smile tugging at the corner of your mouth as he leant forward and took your hand.

‘I swear to you that she will be my number one priority.’ He stated ‘I will move heaven and Earth for her.’

‘Okay.’ You replied, nodding lightly ‘But I need to know that when it comes down to the wire. She’s the one you choose.’

‘I will.’ He replied, smiling sweetly at you.

The rest of the evening went smoothly after that. You discussed arrangements. Agreed that he could come to your final scan before the baby was born and discussed living together initially afterwards. You’d ended up deciding on his apartment as it had a spare room and was larger although agreed it was a good idea to keep yours in case the arrangement didn’t work. You both hugged Connie goodnight. Thanked her for helping the two of your settle your differences and made your way down to your respective apartments but there was no longer an awkward air hanging over you both. Just quiet acceptance.

‘Thank you for agreeing to talk to me.’ He said sweetly, giving your hand a friendly squeeze as you came to a stop outside your front door.

‘Connie was right.’ You started, squeezing his back ‘We need to do what’s best for her.’

Smiling, he gave you a nod and a peck on the cheek ‘Good night Carino.’ He said softly, his eyes sparkling.

‘Why don’t you come in.’ You said, giving him a small smile ‘It’s still early and it would be good to talk a little more.’

‘Sure.’ He replied, following you in as you opened your door.

‘I haven’t got any alcohol I’m afraid.’ You snickered ‘Made me sad having it and not being able to drink it.’

‘That’s fine.’ He replied, smirking at you.

‘I probably have some coffee in the cupboard or I can make you a herbal tea.’

‘I’m fine.’ He replied as he let out a giggle ‘Don’t fuss.’

‘Right.’ You replied, lowering yourself onto the couch with one hand cradling your bump. ‘I look forward to being able to sit down on the couch again gracefully.’ You grumbled ‘Why they gave me an apartment with such a low one I will never know. Perhaps they knew I was going to get pregnant!.’

‘Perhaps.’ He replied as he sat down across from you and you turned your head to look at him.

‘So.’ You breathed.

‘So.’ He returned.

‘I have been trying to think of names.’ You started, leaning forward to grab the list you’d made and handed it to him.

‘These are all Spanish names?’ He questioned, giving you a bemused look.

‘Well, she’d going to have a little Mexican in her.’ You chuckled ‘Just because I hated you, didn't mean I wanted to deny her heritage.’

‘I deserved that.’ He replied with a wince ‘Well I have an aunt called Regina.’ He started, looking down the list’ She smells like beats and repeats herself all the time.

‘Veto on Regina.’

‘I like Elena and Luna.’ He continued ‘Oh and Rosa.’

‘Spooky.’ You said, catching his attention.

‘What is?’

‘Those are all my favourites.’ You replied with a smile and he beamed back at you.

You sat for a few minutes in comfortable silence, the two of you gazing at each other as you rubbed circles on your belly.

‘Whoah!.’ You said suddenly as you sat upright, eyes widening and you looked down at your belly.

‘What is it?’ He asked, his tone a little panicked.

‘She’s moving.’ You replied, grinning at him ‘Come feel. Shit, that’s weird.’

‘You sure?’ He asked, a little surprised at how ready you were to allow him back in.

‘Yes! Come on before she stops!’

He scooted over towards you, smiling when you grabbed his hand and placed it over your bump. For a few moments there was nothing and then… kick.

‘Whoah!’

‘Freaky right?’ You giggled.

‘Very!’

‘Imagine what it’s like for me. She’s doing it from inside.’ You chuckled and he grinned at you ‘She’s gotta be dancing the tango in there. Jesus!’

‘Hey, little one.’ Said Javi as he lowered his face towards your swollen belly ‘Settle down now. Mummy’s very happy to feel you moving but no need to overdo it.’

You chucked as you watched him talk to her, feeling her settle down inside of you and you rolled your eyes as he looked up at you.

‘Of course, she listened to you.’ You grumbled and Javier just shrugged.

You gazed at each other again, feeling the air between you crackle as he shifted himself so that he was more upright but no further from you. You saw his eyes drop to your lips and your own followed suit, tongue darting out to wet it before letting out a shaky breath in anticipation. As he pressed his lips to yours it was unhurried like it had been in the past. It was soft yet passionate and you felt yourself melting into it but soon it became heated, hands groping and tugging as you both desperately tried to deepen it.

‘I missed you.’ He whispered against your lips before his own started planting kisses down your neck.

‘Fuck.’ You moaned, feeling his actions going straight to your core but then your brain kicked in ‘Javi, Javi… Stop.’

‘What’s wrong?’ He asked as he pulled away, brows furrowed in concern.

‘As much as I’d love to revisit that.’ You started as you placed your hand on his chest ‘We need to take this slow. I can’t just go jumping back into bed with you. I need time to trust you again but if you’re serious about this then I need some proof.’

‘I want this. I want us.’ He urged, kissing you again with fervour.

‘And that's wonderful.’ You replied, pecking his lips ‘But I need a little time to process. Is that okay?’

‘Of course.’ He replied, flashing you a warm smile ‘We’ll take this as slow as you like.’

‘Why don’t we start with you staying over. We can talk a bit more, get to know each other again and then you can make me breakfast in the morning.’ You suggested, with a wink.

‘I think that can be arranged.’ He replied, pressing a tender kiss on your lips.

~

Chapter 2

[the-fourth-knower]

Diary of a lost doe, part 1

A short fic where my character Annabelle writes in diaries

Fresh off losing her parents, Annabelle Flaches must contend with trying to fend for herself and her baby sister Angelica. And with Angelica talking to a mysterious green orb when she thinks Annabelle isn’t watching, things are only at the tip of the iceberg.

This is for me and Aquillis’s “half and half” AU, our ‘main’ AU. not to be confused with Aqui’s pack universe which is her underground re-write.

Due to the length I'm splitting this into two parts. This is part 1, part 2 is here!

Diary Enry 1, Day I dunno.

Okay here it is. First diary entry I guess. Gotta keep it brief, writing instruements are hard.

Been a few months since that day. We’re doing fine. Angie started another garden. Moved to a new spot.

Got some new things for the house. Old car door and a tire. Not sure what I’ll do with the tire gonna use the door as part of wall.

Finished roof this morning. Good thing 2, might rain.

Angie still sleps bad if not next to me. Writing while she’s curled up. Wasn’t for scars on ear and having to sleep in same clothes she’d look like we’re still home.

Gotta sleep now.

Diary Entry 2

Maybe got a job. Illegal probs but $ is $

Angelica talked more today. Good sign? Maybe she relapses back into not talking but progress.

I never thought i’d miss her annoying stupid “hey lets go explore a cave and not tell anyone bout what we’ll do” self. Never thought about losing mum and pa ei

Shit crying. Bye.

Diary entry 3

Diary didn’t get too wet yesterday.Don’t think bout mom and pa it ends badly.

I can’t afford to break down even if Angie’s sleeping

If I break down then Angie will get upset

I won’t put her through it

I won’t

…

Diary entry 54

Had to leave town but am 600 $ richer

Angie’s quiet again. But she didn’t complain bout us leavin

gonna go for a city maybe. more risk but more money and places to live.

Jadetown’s the city. Dunno too much bout it but mum liked it.

Should get there in maybe a cuple weeks or so

Angie’s sound asleep. No kicking or anything so that’s good

Hope the city’s okay. Angie hates crowds.

Need somewhere with not a lot of crowds to live at

…

Diary Entry 63

Been a hot second. Settling in Jadetown’s pretty hard.

Find a quiet spot in the slums. Pretty shitty now, but the two of us can make it work

Angie still isn’t talking, but she kept close to me while we made our way through the crowds. She seemed fine as long as she held my hand

Lost her a couple times, but not for long. She seemed upset bout it.

Sorry Angie.

I’ll do better. I promise.

...

Diary Entry 169 (it’s the morning but fuck it)

The nightmare happened again.

Angelica having her ear scared by those monsters. mum and pa being taken away in exchange for us being set loose

Only it loops around and around before it’s just cries and blood and knives and screams and crying and they’re all surrounding me judging me for just failing everyone because you’re a fucking failure

Haven’t had it a while. Don’t upset yourself, Angie needs you.

Diary entry 169? Night

Angelica almost killed some street thugs.

we caught some dumbass looking punks bullying some sort of chao. I think it’s a chao

I ran up to one like an idiot and gout in their face to know what they’re doin, and the things went dark. I got knocked out on my ass, apparenlty the big brute that led them butted me in the head. Asshole didn’t even let me get ready

I came to to Angie trying to shake me awake. When I looked around the punks were gone, there were plant vines all over, and the other kids that had gathered were a mix of crapped their pants and mouths on the floor

I asked angie bout it and she just said she took care of them and that the punks had run off

What the hell did she do? Usually I’m the one saving her? But she was having none of it today.

Oh the chao’s fine, weirdass chao though. Never seen chao that just cause flowers to grow around them or in their footsteps.

Made 30 $

Rib’s hurting and headache, Angie fast asleep. Time for bed.

Diary Entry 170

Chao’s bak.

Visited Angie’s garden for a while watchin me watchin it. It waved and left right around Angie gettin up.

Showed up again when we got back home. Angie hasn’t seen it yet. Good thing, she wanted to bring it with us. We can’t afford three mouths.

I don’t like it. We save its ass and now its stalking us.

Made nothin.

Ribs hurt less. Still a bitch.

Diary entry 171

Angie’s found the “chao”

She talked to it all morning when she thought i was napping. Couldn’t sleep, too afraid of bad dreams.

It doesn’t make chao sounds. Or it does but really weird ones.

Then it turned a green light ball for a bit and back into a chao

Angie liked that.

I don’t trust it. Even less.

Need to watch it.

Angie’s relaxed.

Made 5$.

Diary Entry 172 morn

Nightmare again

Diary Entry 172 night

Angie got excited, claimed that she “found Trevor”

he lived near us back in our old home

Had to tell her no, every red mouse we see is not Trevor.

She says that Trevor and his family were gonna move here, pretty inistent too.

Man she gets caught up on the smallest things

Made 20$

Diary Entry 173

Chao returned while i was working. Left Angie on her own

Shes seemed like she was having a fun time being able to talk with someone

She’s not made friends much. Maybe i’m being too hard on the ‘chao’

Still gotta watch it. It could be manipulating her

Haven’t told her I know bout the chao yet.

Should i?

Not now. Angelica is sleeping.

Made 5$

Diary Entry 174

‘Trevor’ spotting 2. Angie wanted to go bug the person. So we went and sure enough as we got closer Angie changed her mind. It was a rat, not a mouse she said.

How can she tell the difference?

No Angie and chao visit. Unless it was while i slept in. but why would she be secretive bout it?

Saw the punk bitch again today. Looked like he crapped his pants when he saw Angie and she glared at him. That’s my sister.

Made 60$

…

Diary Entry 364

Got a new diary. Last entry for this one. Things going well. Got a good thing going for myself.

Angie found a new plant today, and now she’s got it in her garden.

Loved the look on her face when I got it for her.

Made 50$

Angelica’s chatted with the Chao again. Sort of like, is her guardian I think. Or is that its name

Guess good bye diary 1. Really weird to do but it feels right.

Angie’s sleeping well enough on her own. She mumbles but that seems it.

Do I do a good job keeping her safe

Diary 2 Entry 1

Managed to find a new diary. Keeping the old one just cause, and because I have the storage. For a couple of street bum does, we’ve got a decent enough house going. Been able to put it together from bits and bobs lying around, Angie even threw in her hat and added her own touches.

Looks ugly as hell with the plants holding things together and it’s all a mish mash of junk and crap I found, but it’s our mishmash of junk and crap.

Also saved up enough and am making enough to afford more than one pen and even some pencils. So I can write more often. Just felt like writing

Angie’s started to get more vocal again. I think she’s catching onto the fact the way I’ve been making money is less than honest a lot of the time.

I’m not going to sell myself for it though. I’m not degrading myself with that and nayone who fucking tries is going to a hospital.

And if any of those freaks dare go near Angie there won’t be enough left for a morgue to pick up.

Oh, and the chao’s still around. I can feel it. Angelica loves it, I think. I don’t trust it entirely, yet. But, it hasn't been a danger for the past months. So I think it’s actually a good thing.. Angie calls it Guardian. Maybe it's our own Guardian Angel.

Made 65$ today.

Good journal entry me. You got talkative. Writative? Whatever.

...

Diary 2 Entry 23

Got into a fight today, that was fun. The punks from when I helped save Guardian decided to jump me when Angelica was at the house. Guess they figured they could jump me without little sis to back me up. Too bad for them, when I don’t get suckered I’m damn good at defending myself. Sent them packing. Got a bit bruised. Why is it always the ribs with those guys.

Admittedly. I didn’t have to beat the crap out of them. But talk shit get hit, I say. They shouldn’t have been trash talking me when I was walking by.

-

Angelica was upset when I got back. Should’ve expected that, really. Don’t know why I didn’t think she would notice me being hurt, she’s got a sixth sense for that sort of thing. Always has. Kinda weird.

But, she did try and heal me a bit. Somehow, she’s gotten better at it -Ever since she's met Guardian, she’s gotten more control over that healing ability she has. I just need to make sure she doesn’t overdo herself again.

I don’t know anything much bout healing magic or whatever it is, but I don’t think what Angie has is normal. I think she uses herself for it. Whatever healing she tries to do just eats away at her. And whatever it was was enough to frighten Pa to move us in the first place

-

I think part of me might blame ANgie for it. For getting us out of the safety of where we lived near Agateton and moving.

But if we didn’t move would we really have been safe still. And it wasn’t Angie’s fault she did what she did, it was Pa who pushed for it and Mum who went with it.

So do I blame them? I don’t want to. The monsters that took them and hurt Angie are the ones to blame.

But they wouldn’t have found us if we didn’t move near that forest. But Mum and Pa couldn’t have seen it coming.

Ugh. brain hurts. Fuck this mind screw bullshite

Spent 123.54$ today. Groceries and supplies. Tampons are stupid expensive but I want to have a decent supply for when we need them. Also some food.

Made 13$. Gonna need to work more to recoup.

No idea if Angie talked with Guardian. She still thinks I don’t know anythin bout it.

At least, I think she doesn’t. She gets defensive and acts like she doesn’t know what I’m talking about.

I wonder why she does that. Wonder if it’s tied with how I react to her saying she’s found Trevor for the umpteenth time.

Maybe I should press her bout it. But I don’t want to get her worked up over nothin.

Okay that’s enough, my mind’s getting wandering now and I stay up if I do that.

...

Diary 2 Entry 54

Someone showed up with a bunch of robots earlier. Cause quite the commotion, sent people running, the usual.

Apparently he set up shop in the rich quarter and is causing all sorts of troubles. People have been coming to and fro a lot the past few days.

Angie got worried over explosions. Had to calm her down, explain that whatever it was probably wasn’t coming here. She asked me bout the people there and if they needed help - told her that someone would take care of the rich fops. That’s what they do after all. Who gives a shit about two practically orphaned kids.

Not sure if she bought it. Gotta keep an eye on her. Might need to pull an all nighter.

And we don’t have any energy drinks or coffee. I could go grab one, no one is gonna give a shit if I do, not in this current environment.

Gotta stop for now. Gotta focus on Angie not some stupid book.

Entry 55

Angie’s missin

[food-in-your-mitch]

Heat Wave

My first of hopefully many Ronstadt fics!

It’s a damn hot day in LA and Ronstadt is having trouble beating the heat. Then Gus stops by for a visit...

Suggestive but sfw

~~~

Good lord, is it hot in here...

I wipe the sweat from my brow with the back of my hand. I’m sure by now I’ve left a Ronstadt-shaped sweat stain on my couch, and the box fan positioned on the coffee table isn’t doing jack squat for me. The a/c still isn’t fixed and the air is nauseatingly stagnant outside, so no breeze to flutter in through my window. So I’m sitting in the dim stillness of a living room with all the lights turned off, downing glass after glass of water to replenish my sweat tanks.

I think there’s some weird irony in sitting by yourself in a dark living room. What living can I possibly be doing?

Suddenly, a loud crash pulls me from my revelry. Whatever it is, it shakes the floor beneath my sweaty feet and makes the box fan wobble on its base. I’m about to make myself more alert, shaking myself out of my heat-induced stupor, but the crashing sound is quickly followed by a shout. A shout, then a whoop, then an exclamation of success. It’s just Gus. I settle back into my sweat stain.

Either Gus doesn’t feel the heat the same way that I do, or it’s magnitudes cooler in his garage than it is here. I don’t even have the time to ponder before I hear his footsteps thundering upstairs to my door. I peel myself off of the couch and open the door before he can get in his first knock.

“Hey, Ronstadt!” He greets me cheerily and lets himself inside. I sigh and steel myself; I’m not exactly in the mood for company. I gesture languidly to his arm, where he has a box of something tucked under his pit.

“What you got there?”

His friendly smile morphs into a mischievous grin. “Well, remember that mini fridge I told you about?”

I nod.

“And how I had so much shit buried in front of it that I couldn’t even open it?”

I nod again. “Yes. I remember the mini fridge.”

“Well,” he continues, interrupting me just quickly enough for me to bypass it. “I got to the damn fridge and look what I found!”

He slams the box down onto my coffee table.

“...Beer?” I ask quizzically. That’s what he was making such a racket about?

Gus smiles brighter. “Not just any old beer, Ron.”

I grimace at the nickname.

“In this box right here are two whole cases of genuine Cold And Lonely Mountain IPA.”

He says that as if it means anything to me.

“Knew I still had some laying around somewhere.” He continues and squats down beside my coffee table to open up the pack of booze. “Last place I had to look was that mini fridge! They’re nice and cold from bein’ in there for so long, figured I’d share.”

He hands me a can that’s dappled in condensation, and the feel of it in my grip is like heaven on earth. I resist the urge to rub the can on the back of my neck like a girl in a cheesy porno. You know the ones. The girl’s car breaks down on a hot day by some spooky old gas station and she spends her remaining quarters on a cold can of pop, but instead of drinking it like a normal person she rubs it across her chest and the gas station owner catches a glimpse of her and... well, I’m sure I don’t need to spell the rest out for you.

Instead, I press the can to the insides of my wrists.

“Ah, I’m not really a beer drinker, Gus.” I say, trying to let him down gently. What I wouldn’t give for a mai tai right now, but the thought of dragging my sweat-soaked body down to the bar makes me feel lightheaded. Gus just waves his hand like he’s swatting away an invisible fly.

“Just try it, for Pete’s sake. C’mon, they’re ice cold!” He cracks open his cold one and settles himself into my sweat stain before I can stop him.

I shrug and pop open my can as well, seating myself down on the opposite side of the couch. He’s already crumpling up his can in his fist before I’ve even taken my first sip.

When the beer hits my tongue, it’s like the Mojave meeting the pacific. The room temperature water I’d been chugging all day has nothing on this, even if it isn’t a mai tai. I hum in appreciation.

“It isn’t bad... thanks for sharing.” I say, and take another sip.

“No prob, bob!” He shoots back at me with a grin and a click of his tongue.

In about ten minutes, we’ve both downed four cans and I’m feeling the buzz that comes along with drinking on an empty stomach. So is Gus, if the way he’s made himself comfortable on my couch is anything to go by. He’s spread out like a drunk starfish, and I reach out to the table to grab two more cans and I pass one over to him. He grins his thanks, all sharp teeth and smarm.

He pops the can open lightning fast and tips his head back as he drinks. His throat bobs as he gulps and I can very clearly see the rivulets of sweat slide down his long neck and disappear beneath the collar of his shirt... an undone button-up, obnoxious and garish with its bright blue and palm tree print, and a gray tank underneath, and the neck of it is darkened by his sweat-

I shake my head to get those thoughts the hell out of there. The heat must be driving me crazy. I pop my can open and take a sip, content to just lean back and watch Gus. I don’t feel too bad, he likes to be watched. I’d know, I’ve seen Get A Room.

I don’t recommend it, by the way.

The way he smirks at me over his now empty can doesn’t go unnoticed. I feel myself flush like a virgin schoolboy when he pokes his tongue out to lick the beer off the lip of the can.

“Don’t think I don’t notice you staring at me, Ronstadt...”

God he even sounds nice. Maybe it’s the four and a half beers in my system talking, but his voice sounds gravelly. Husky, like he’s trying to talk quietly. Rumbly like it’s an earthquake rising up out of his chest.

Sexy. It sounds sexy.

I really should just kick him out, he’s invading my space.

But the way he darts his tongue out to swipe quickly across his top lip has me second guessing myself.

Has me wishing I was one of his old hotel guests.

Shit.

“Ronstadt...?”

His timbre breaks my focus. I can hear the dammed grin on his face before I even look at it.

“Yeah...” I say, like an idiot. Gus just gets up and tucks the half-empty box of beer back under his arm. He pats my cheek twice with his free hand and I resist biting him like an angry chihuahua.

“I’d better get goin’, anyway...” he says, unprompted, like he’s trying to get me to make him stay. I’m not falling for it.

“Yeah, guess you’d better.” I crunch my empty can in my fist but I only succeed in making Gus laugh.

“I’ll see what I can do about that damn busted A/C. See ya, Ronstadt...” he clicks his tongue at me again and I throw my beer can against the door after he clicks it shut.

If I thought I was sweaty before, that was nothing compared to how wet I am now.

Whatever. I’d consider it a blessing to die of heatstroke with my hand down my pants. Or at the very least, it would be an appropriate way to go.

[skieswords]

Sorry For The Wait {Charlie Gillespie x OC}

Summary: Alex is a lowkey youtuber, known for funny vlogs of her just existing. She’s avoided the relationship question for the longest time, but has decided it’s time to come clean to her followers. 

Warning: Fluff, swearing, mention of alcohol, and sexual innuendo cause I’m incapable of writing anything without it.

Alex was wandering round the kitchen, in his old shirt and a pair of pyjama shorts that really didn’t cover much. She hummed an undistinguishable melody under her breath as she went about making her morning coffee, dancing to the song in her head. Charlie grinned from his position in the doorframe, leaning up against the wall with his arms crossed as he watched his girlfriend be her usual dorky self. She spun round suddenly, feeling eyes on her. “Oh, morning Char, when did you get back?” Charlie laughed under his breath and uncrossed his arms, stepping towards her and pulling her into his chest. “It’s not exactly morning, is it.” He nodded towards the clock on the oven that read 13.47, sighing when she shrugged and pressed a kiss to his cheek before stepping away to pick up her coffee cup. “It’s my morning.” Charlie rolled his eyes but nodded, helping himself to a banana from the fruit bowl, and leaning against the counter. Alex jumped onto the counter opposite, and swung her legs, sipping happily. Sitting there looking absolutely content, in his clothes and drinking her coffee, Charlie felt his heart swell. “I wanna go public.” He blurted it out, rather unexpectedly, for both parties. His eyes widened as he realised what he’d said, and looked down to his boots, still caked with mud from that morning’s not so sunny hike. “Didn’t we agree you’d stop wearing boots in the house? You hate vaccuming.” She jumped off the counter and made her way towards him, wrapping her arms around him and setting her coffee down on the countertop, resting her chin on his chest. He looked down at her with a soft smile, her blue eyes bearing into his hazel ones. “If you’re up for it, I’m down.” She smiled up at him, her voice soft and slightly excited. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and let his hand wrap around her waist, fingers drawing light patterns on her spine. “Yes please. I want everyone to know you’re mine.” Alex grinned and kissed along his jaw, until pressing a lingering kiss to his lips. “Okay. When?” She broke away from him and unwrapped some toaster waffles, pushing down the button on the toaster before making her way back into his arms. “Today. Fuck it, let’s do it now.” She raised her eyebrows at him, and fiddled with his chain nervously. “Have you checked with Kenny? Didn’t he say-” Charlie sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Uh, Kenny gave me the all clear like 2 months ago. I just wasn’t sure if you were okay with it.” Alex rolled her eyes, and patted his head jokingly, stretching like a cat and moaning happily when her back cracked loudly. “Of course I am. Dude do you know how many videos I’ve got planned for when people know about us?” Charlie laughed and stood up properly, kicking his shoes off and frowning slightly at the mud that scattered the floor as he did. “Great, let’s get them all filmed. Go get changed though, I’m not taking you on live in them.” He indicated her shorts, reaching a hand round to grab her ass. “Hey, they’re not that bad.” Charlie raised his eyebrows at her, and pointed to the doorway. “Fine. But I’m not wearing a bra and you can’t make me.” He rolled his eyes and smirked, pulling his phone out and walking through to the living room, stopping outside their bedroom door and watching as she pulled her shorts down. He bit his lip and caught her eye, shooting her a wink, before settling onto the sofa, setting his phone up on the tripod. 

“Hellooo, people. Okay, so I’ll just let some people file in. Sheesh, how many of you are there? That’s like 4000 already and it’s been like 10 seconds. Okay just a few more... Great. Hi everyone, uh, this is just a quick one to answer a question a lot of people have been asking me since the show came out. Before I do, I just want to say you guys know how much I love you, and how grateful I am for all the support, but I really need you guys to respect me with this. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, and I’ve only held off because I was waiting for someone to agree.” 

From behind the camera, Alex emerged from their bedroom, her hair freed from it’s bun and falling around her shoulders as she fidgeted. She was nervous, having only been in front of an online audience of a couple thousand before, and she’d never been exposed to Charlie’s followers. They read the comments on his posts together sometimes, and she often stalked fan pages when she was bored and he was out hiking. The girls were crazy about him. Understandably of course, the man was gorgeous, and talented, and funny, and a million other things that had indeed made her fall in love with him in the first place. Kenny had asked that cast members (besides Jeremy, who already had a very public fiancée) to keep any relationships on the downlow, in order to keep the guys sex appeal up to fans. Alex had agreed, knowing it would help the show sell, and had deleted the few posts of Charlie on her instagram profile. None of them really made it look like they were in a relationship, and they were mostly group shots anyway, taken on day trips to Newfoundland, or on the beach with other friends. So her own followers, besides her close friends and family, had no idea she was even in a relationship. Still, it wasn’t fair to tease his fans, so she’d removed the posts all the same. Thinking of her instagram, she pulled her own phone out and took a picture of herself in the living room mirror with her tongue out, captioning it ‘head over to @charles_gillespie for an exciting announcement!’ before leaving her phone on the sidetable and grabbing her coffee from the kitchen.

“Okay, so we’ve waited like 3 years or something to do this. Guys, this is Alex. My girlfriend.” Alex walked into the frame and took a seat next to Charlie, avoiding eye contact with the camera. She wasn’t camera shy- she was a youtuber, it was second nature to her. But a bunch of batshit crazy fangirls? Terrifying. Charlie slipped an arm around her shoulders and made a show of bringing their heads together, plastering a silly grin on his face. His smile was infectious, and Alex mirrored it, sipping her coffee carefully before setting it down next to wear Charlie’s foot sat on the coffee table. “Knock that over and I’m kicking you out.” He laughed and kissed her hair, leaning forward to read the comments. 

“OMG, it’s @alexmvlogsz!”

“I knew it, there are old photos of the two of them everywhere.”

“It won’t be serious, they’ve probs only just got together.”

“She’s defo with him for the fame.”

“He’s too hot for her.”

“I’m so here for this!” 

Alex noticed Charlie’s frown and leant forward, reading them over his shoulder. “Ha, you guys are funny. Yes, hi it’s me, Alex. Yes, there are a lot of photos of us going around. Yuh okay you’re wrong, been together for like 4 years now I think? Also, we started dating while I had more followers than Charlie. So, uh go follow me because I’m cooler than him. Oh you are so right, he’s way too hot for me. And we are also here for this!” Charlie looked at her with an adoring smile, kissing her head again and pulling her into his side. “She’s hotter than me, actually. Anyways, this is Alex, love of my life. Just thought I’d share that with you guys.” Alex waved and laughed as a storm of comments came through, a combination of support and hate. “Okay, I’m gonna end it there. Bye y’all.” Charlie clicked the end button and collapsed back onto the sofa, frowning slightly. “People are so mean. Why can’t they just accept that I love you?” Alex shrugged and kissed him, moving to straddle his lap. “They will in time. But half of them are in love with you, they don’t want to accept it. It’s fine though, I’m used to it, don’t worry.” Charlie grumbled under his breath, leaning forward to rest his head against her chest. “Hey, while their all still on their phones, do me a favour and put a question box on your story for a Q&A video?” Charlie nodded and grabbed his phone from behind her, keeping one hand on her back so she didn’t fall. Alex yelped as he stood up, automatically wrapping her legs round his waist, and her arms round his neck. “What the fuck Charlie?” He laughed and wandered over to the same mirror Alex had taken her selfie in a few minutes earlier, holding up his phone and taking a photo of them. “For the story. I can post photos of you now, thank god.” Alex held on, resting her head on his shoulder as he typed behind her back, before tossing his phone onto the sofa and grinning at her. She raised her head and looked at him with her eyebrows raised. “Are you going to put me down now?” Charlie shook his head and walked towards the bathroom, arms wrapped around her. “I need a shower, and you’re joining me. “ Alex laughed but let him carry her, kissing along his jawline with a happy smile. 

*****

Hair soaking wet and faces flushed, they collapsed into bed side by side, Alex resting her head on Charlie’s chest. “I have an idea.” Charlie looked down at her, and ran his fingers through the damp strands of hair. “We should call Owen over. We’ll do a Q and A, but he has to read out the questions, and if we try to answer wrong or something, he can reveal the truth. Plus he can throw in his opinions, and it’ll be funny.” Charlie laughed softly, and nodded, reaching over to his nightstand to grab his phone. He clicked on Owen’s contact, and facetimed him, pulling the duvet up to cover Alex just in time. “I didn’t mean ask him right now. But okay.” Owen picked up, and grinned into the camera as he saw Charlie. “Hey, I’m just heading out to do some stuff but I can speak to you in the car. What’s up?” Charlie didn’t speak, simply angling the camera so that Owen could see them both, Alex’s red cheeks standing out against the white of the duvet cover pulled up to her shoulders. His face fell when he took in her appearance, groaning and pulling his hat over his face. “Look, Charlie, I love you, and I tolerate you Alex, but I saw enough of this in Vancouver. Seriously man, she has no clothes on.” Charlie nodded, and smirked. “Yuh, and she’s staying like that for the rest of the day. Anway, she wants to talk to you.” He handed the phone to Alex and sat up, reaching over to grab Alex’s phone from the charger. Owen rolled his eyes and sat Alex on his car stand, turning the keys in the ignition, and starting to drive. Alex made sure the sheet was tucked tightly under her arms, before moving out of Charlie’s grip, and leaning against the headboard. “Okay, so I was thinking.” Owen grunted in response and raised his eyebrows, avoiding looking at her. “Never a good thing. Just saying, if you flash me it’s not my fault, and manchild over there can’t get mad.” Charlie stuck his middle finger up at Owen, not looking up from Alex’s phone, which he was spamming with selfies. “Yeah, whatever. Anyway. I was thinking, Charlie just told all his followers we’re together- just incase you didn’t notice- and I want to do a Q & A on my channel. I think it’ll be even funnier if you ‘host’ it, and you can throw in random stories and opinions and whatever? You know us better than anyone,” Owen laughed bitterly and leaned forward, looking out his window. “Yeah, unfortunately. God, I was so happy when you went home. Okay, so when do you want to film this?” Alex looked over at Charlie and smiled seeing him scrolling through her instagram feed. “I don’t mind, when you next free?” Owen shrugged, and the familiar ticking of an indicator came through the phone. “As long as you two are fully clothed, I’ll come over on Wednesday? I have to come to LA to meet some people anyway, we can grab dinner after?” Alex nodded and watched as Charlie set her phone down, and slid down the bed, resting his head on her stomach. She ran her free hand through his hair, smiling as his eyes closed at the sensation. “Yeah that works. I’ll see if Sav wants to come too. Okay, I’ll see you then.” Owen nodded and waved at her, smiling as she flipped the camera to show Charlie. “He’s such a baby. Okay, you two go do whatever you two do. I’ll catch you later.” Charlie flipped him off once more, not lifting his head from where it rested, and Alex hung up. “You want a nap?” Charlie groaned slightly, indicating yes. “Cool, me too. Let me get the blinds.” Charlie sat up with an incredulous expression. “You woke up like an hour and a half ago woman, how are you tired already?” Alex looked at him with raised eyebrows and pulled a shirt out of their wardrobe. His shirt, to be clear. He watched as she dragged it over her head and flipped the blinds so that the room was darker, and held his arms out to her as she climbed back into their king sized bed, cuddling into his warm chest as they passed out for a couple of hours.

*******

“Hey guys! Most of you will already know, because we announced it a few days ago, but for those of you who don’t, today I’m introducing you to my boyfriend properly! The incredibly hot Charlie Gillespie.” Charlie waved awkwardly to the camera from his spot on the sofa, looking to Alex who was on the other side, almost 2 feet of space between them. “We figured we’d do a Q and A, so you guys sent in some questions, and well, we’re gonna answer them. Also, we have another special guest with us.” Owen appeared, and sat in between them, grinning at the camera. “Wouldn’t be a show without me. Okay so basically these two are disgustingly in love, and have been for a disgusting amount of time. Alex is using me for clout, and now you’re going to find out all of the gory details about their relationship.” Alex smacked him gently and handed him Charlie’s phone, the question response boxes all ready to read. “Okay, first question.

How long have you guys known eachother, and how did you meet? Owen looked between them, and pointed to Charlie. “I want to hear him get this wrong.” Charlie rolled his eyes and leaned forward, looking at Alex, who nodded. “Okay. We met nearly 4 years ago, when Alex moved over here for college. I was in LA that weekend, and I bumped into her in the street. We got to talking, and I ended up taking her out that night. That was pretty much it if I’m honest, nothing that exciting.” Alex scoffed and flipped her hair behind her shoulders. “Not quite. I took him out, and he fangirled the whole time. His sister had watched a few of my youtube videos, and he- and I quote- thought I was really pretty.” Charlie stuck his tongue out at her, and Owen groaned, resting his head in his hands. “We’re only one question in and I’m already sick of the both of you. Okay, next question.”

Do you guys live together, and if so where? Alex raised her eyebrows and laughed. “Most of the time we live together, yes. This is my apartment in LA, and I’d say we’re here at least 8 months of the year. But at christmas we go to New Brunswick to see Char’s family, and we go visit my family in thesummer. And sometimes I’m in New Zealand, and he’ll go on holiday with his boyfriend here.” Owen grinned and held Charlie’s hand, resting his head on his friends shoulder. Charlie leaned into him, making them appear like a very loved up couple. “Yeah, so we live together most of the time, apart from when we’re visiting friends or family, or if he’s working.” Charlie nodded and looked to Owen, who continued scrolling through boxes. “Oh my god some of these are dodgy. Jesus, look at this one!” He showed it to Alex, who burst out laughing. “Okay, I’m answering that but we’re not reading out the actual question.” She climbed to her feet and turned side on to the camera, smoothing out her t-shirt against her chest, giving a decent view of her side profile. “Whoever asked what kind of man Charlie is, I’ll let you figure that one out for yourself. He doesn’t get a choice in the matter- I only have one of the above.” Charlie read the question over Owen’s shoulder, before frowning and reaching out for Alex, pulling her onto his knee. “Shut up, you’re perfect and I love every bit of you.” He started peppering her face with kisses, laughing alongside her. Owen jumped to the other side of the sofa, grimacing. “Disgusting. Okay, next question. Ooh, this one’s juicy.”

Alex, do you and Madison get along, and have you ever been jealous of her relationship with Charlie? Owen made a show of trying not to laugh, and Alex rolled her eyes. “Mads is like a little sister to me. We get on really well, and her and Charlie’s relationship is best friends, nothing more. I mean, to be fair I’d totally adopt her if I could. Having her living with me would me pretty cool.” Charlie frowned and shook his head. “No. I’m not living with the both of you. You’d never stop singing.” Alex nodded happily. “And the only thing I’m jealous of her for is she doesn’t have to live with him. Or share a kitchen with him.” Charlie flicked her in the side of the head, kissing the afflicted area shortly after, while Owen nodded in agreement. “That brings us nicely on to the next one.”

Who’s got the worst eating habits? Owen rubbed the back of his neck and looked straight at the camera. “I can’t believe I’m about to say this. Alex is worse than Charlie, folks. And you’ve seen how he eats.” Charlie pushed Alex off him and jumped up, pointing his fingers at her as he danced around in front of the camera. Alex’s jaw dropped, and she leant forward, pointing at Charlie accusingly. “He eats eggs with peanut butter. Do you know how gross that is?” Charlie grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles, sinking back into his seat. “You eat ham, and peanut butter. You can’t talk.” Alex groaned and flipped him off behind Owen’s head. “Fine, what’s the next one?” Owen grinned and scrolled a bit, laughing out loud before putting the phone facedown.

Who’s most likely to get jealous? He smirked at the camera, and shared a look with Alex, who was grinning. They turned back to the camera and spoke simultaneously. “Charlie.” At his name, he groaned and grabbed a pillow, smothering his face with it. “Very much Charlie. Do you want to hear something funny? Of course you do. Owen, I’ll let you take this one.” Alex sat back, smiling smugly, while Charlie looked at her with pure betrayal written all over his face. “While we were in Vancouver last year, filming for the show, Alex here, came to stay with us for 2 months. This was the first time I’d met her, besides a few facetime calls. We got on really well, and hung out a lot on and off set, while I wasn’t filming. Our lovely Charlie, decided he was going to absolutely freak out about this, and started a fight in the middle of the freaking lot, in front of the entire cast and crew, because he thought I was after Alex.” Charlie groaned from behind the pillow, and Alex laughed. “He thought Owen was flirting with me, and yelled at him for a straight 7 minutes, while we just kinda stood there and looked at each other. I felt so bad, I took Charlie home that night and sat with him for like 3 hours, and then I took them both out for dinner the next night. It was weird.” Owen snorted and rubbed his forehead. “You did not just sit with him. I shared an apartment with you, I was in the next room.” Alex punched his arm, and leaned over to ruffle Charlie’s hair. “He’s just protective, you should see him when we go out together, he literally refuses to leave my side.” Owen nodded and smiled at Charlie’s flushed face. “He’s stupid protective of her. One of the crew members actually did flirt with her. We’re lucky the guy’s still alive.” Charlie rolled his eyes at them both and held his hands up. “I had to compete with an entire college full of guys to keep her. And I have 3 brothers. I’m used to fighting for what’s mine.” Alex smiled and stood up, pushing Owen into her spot and sitting beside him, taking Charlie’s hand. “Yeah, what he said. Next question Owen?” Owen shook his head and scrolled once more, raising his eyebrows occasionally. “Okay, this should be easy.”

Who’s the most annoying to live with? Charlie and Alex both immediately pointed to her, and Owen nodded his head. “Even just while we were in Vancouver, this girl drove me up the wall. I don’t know how Charlie does it.” Charlie smirked and rubbed his jaw. “He gets well compensated for his troubles.” Charlie shrugged and nodded, laughing at Owen’s expression. “She’s incapable of showering without leaving the entire bathroom flooded, she never does the laundry unless I phone her four times and ask her to do it, she has never touched the vaccum in her life, and the bed only gets made when she’s not living here. Not to mention she’s the messiest person in the world, and our room is literally carpeted with her- actually wait no, MY clothes, because she never wears her own stuff. Exhibit A.” Alex stood up and spun around, showing off her outfit of Charlie’s t-shirt and a pair of jeans. “He loves me for it though.” She dropped back onto the sofa, smiling as she felt Charlie’s arm slip around her waist and pull her in to his side. “Let’s do some nice ones.”

Are you guys morning people? All three of them laughed, and Alex buried her face in Charlie’s chest. “Owen, is like a late morning early afternoon person. I’m always up before 9, I like doing stuff in the mornings. I sleep in on Saturdays sometimes, or I’ll stay in bed and watch a movie with Alex. But Alex doesn’t get up unless she absolutely has to. Today she got up at like 1230 I think? And that’s early for her, and it was only after a lot of persuasion.” Alex bit her lip, remembering the persuasion Charlie had used that morning, and feeling a familiar heat take over her face. Owen pulled a face, also knowing what he meant, and gagged. “Disgusting. But yeah, I’ll second that. When she lived with us, we’d go home for lunch sometimes, or we’d have a halfday, and she’d still be sleeping. Like Charlie would go in and get her at like 4pm. And she’d wake up and go get coffee. At 4pm.” Charlie nodded, and Alex sighed, sitting up and brushing her hair out of her face. “In my defense, I’m normally up pretty late. I work best at night, and I can never fall asleep before like 3 or 4am.” She shrugged, and leant on Charlie, who was blushing ever so slightly. “We know, Alex, we know. Let me give you a piece of advice, folks. See if your best mate’s girlfriend comes to stay, after 2 months of being apart? Stay away from the apartment for at least 3 days. Maybe a week. Move out if you can. They kept me up, Every. Freaking. Night. I don’t know how Charlie was able to function at 5.30 in the morning, considering he could’ve gotten like maximum an hour of sleep. He was on vocal rest for a reason.” Owen raised his eyebrows at the camera, and Alex hid her face, while Charlie puffed out his cheeks and looked around, avoiding the camera. “Moving swiftly on, what’s the next question Owen?” The blonde grinned and scrolled once more, chuckling under his breath.

What’s your guys favourite thing to do together? Owen looked at them dubiously as Alex clapped her hands, and Charlie grinned. “Besides that.” Charlie rolled his eyes and reached over to clip Owen over the ear, and Alex ducked as they play fought over the top of her. Finally breaking apart, Charlie straightened his shirt and resumed his hold on Alex. “It’s between travelling and playing. With Alex’s family in the UK, and mine in Canada, we fly around quite a lot. Besides, we both love seeing new places, and we have friends all over the place.” Alex nodded and smiled excitedly. “I can’t wait, we’re going to see Mads for her 17th birthday next week- she doesnt’t know, but I won’t post this until we’re there, so it’ll be fine. And we went to visit my dad in New Zealand last month- that was fun. We went to Hawaii, of course, with Jer and that. That was incredible.” Charlie nodded, watching with an adoring expression as his girlfriend’s face lit up, while she spoke about the places she loved so much. “Hawaii was awesome, but I gotta say, going to the UK is like wow. It’s so different over there.” Alex looked at her feet shyly, nodding slightly. “For sure, and my friends are uh, very different from our friends here.” Charlie raised his eyebrows in agreement, feeling Alex’s grip on his hand get a little tighter. “But yeah, besides travelling it’s got to be playing together. We sing together all the time, I’m pretty sure our neighbours hate us.” Alex brightened up and laughed, nodding eagerly. “Honestly, most of the time that’s what we’re doing at like 1am. I’ll get a song stuck in my head and force Charlie to play it for me. He’s so much better at guitar than I am.” Charlie shook his head and held a hand out in excitement. “Nah, see when I tell you this girl can sing, oh my GAWD. There’s a reason I fell in love with her. And she plays piano, and guitar, although I am still teaching her that. And violin!! How cool is that? She’s teaching me. So yeah, our neighbours hate us.” Owen smiled as he watched his best friends talk about each other, the love between them so obvious and real. “Okay, we’ll do like two or three more.”

Who takes longer to get ready in the morning? Instantly pointing at each other, Owen laughed, and pointed to Charlie. “100% this man. She just throws her hair up and puts on whatever he wore the day before. This man has a full haircare routine, every fricking morning. Like seriously, it’s just hair!” Alex nodded in agreement, running her hands through Charlie’s hair. “It is very nice hair though. Nah for sure, Charlie takes longer to get ready first thing, but when we’re going out, it’s me. Like out out, I mean. I’m so indecisive. In Vancouver Savannah literally nearly stabbed me cause I was taking so long.” Charlie grinned and nodded, Owen mirroring his actions. “Never ask her to go out unless you have at least 4 hours to kill. 3 hours for her to be indecisive, and then another for her to be late.” Alex grinned and tilted her head to the side. “Girls, am I right? HA. I’m funny. Okay, moving on.”

Who’s most fun on a night out? Charlie and Owen pointed to Alex simultaneously, who just shrugged and nodded. “I was raised in Scotland, so when I drink, I drink hard. Nobody could keep up with me when we went out in Vancouver. Seriously, Charlie tried and we nearly had to take him to the ER.” Charlie scoffed at this, but the blush spreading up his neck said all that needed to be said. Owen laughed at the memory, and set the phone down. “No really, it was so funny. This tiny 5′5 girl knocking back vodka like it’s water, and Charlie’s trying not to throw up in the corner after like 2. This girl’s liver is deceased.” Alex grinned and kicked her feet up on the table proudly. “Proud drinker since I was 13. Shit, this is going on the internet. Okay, forget I said that. Owen?” Owen reached out and grabbed the phone, scrolling through again.

Do you have any tattoos? Owen rolled up his sleeve and showed off the ghost drummer on his forearm, and Charlie stood up next to him, placing their ghostly characters next to each other. They pulled their shirt sleeves down, and looked to Alex, who groaned and stood up. “I have a few, but they’re pretty small.” She came up close to the camera, followed by Charlie, who helped her pull the collar of her shirt down, and swept her hair away from the nape of her neck, revealing the small outline of a triangle at the top of her spine. “I’ve got that, and then-” She pulled her top up, and showed a single word written on her ribcage, in gaelic. ‘teine’. “It says fire, in scottish gaelic. And this one.” She held her hand up to the camera, showing a daffodil on the inside of her middle finger on her right hand. “And then I have another one on my leg, but obviously can’t show that.” She settled back onto the sofa, smacking Charlie when he laughed. “It’s hardly on her leg. It’s like-” She held a hand over his mouth and smiled at Owen, asking silently for the next question. “Oh wow, okay I like this one.”

Alex, how do you get along with the JATP cast, and who’s your favourite? Owen looked at Alex expectantly, who just rolled her eyes and crossed her legs. “I love them, so much. While Char was away I was constantly on the phone, and they’d just pass me around depending on who was filming. A lot of it was because Charlie was afraid I’d get lonely, but also because he was so busy that he could only grab a couple of minutes to speak to me every now and again. While I was in Vancouver, me and Owen definitely spent a lot of time together, and he showed me round the city while Charlie and Mads were doing perfect harmony shoots and stuff, which was an experience and a half. Note to self, Owen is incredibly competitive at arcade games.” Alex slipped her hand into Charlie’s as she spoke about her time with Owen, knowing he’d probably start overthinking it. “But Mads and I got super close. Like everytime the boys were filming we’d go to craft services and eat our weight in brownies. We made them a lot too, in the apartment. We literally facetime everyday. And Savannah too, oh my god I love that girl so much. She’s like my best friend. I wouldn’t have made it over there without her, she literally picked me up from the airport when someone forgot I was coming.” Charlie held his hands up in defense, and Alex rolled her eyes. “He didn’t forget I was coming, he just ‘lost track of time’. But honestly, I can’t pick a favourite, they’re like family to me.” She smiled at Owen, and leaned back against Charlie, meaning every word. “Aw. How cute. I’m the favourite. Next question. Oh wow, this is a biggie.”

Charlie, are you going to propose? Alex’s eyes widened, and she coughed, turning to look at Charlie. “Good question. It’s nearly four years. Where’s the ring, Charlieboy?” Charlie chuckled and ran a hand through his hair, leaning back against the sofa. “Got a while yet, got to train her up a bit better first.” Alex punched him in the arm, and he winced, rubbing it and glaring at her. “I’m joking, obviously. She’s only just 21, so we’re gonna wait a bit- but yes, I will. One day. If she doesn’t kill me with her cooking first.” Owen raised his eyebrows and brought a leg up underneath him, scrolling through the questions. Alex looked at Charlie with a pout, crossing her arms and moving away from him. “Oh my god, you’re such a child. Yes, I’m going to propose, just not now and not anytime soon! Yikes.” Alex grinned and kissed his cheek, waiting for the next question. “Right, we’ll make this the last one?” Alex and Charlie nodded, Alex tucking her legs up to her chest as she leaned back against Charlie, her head resting on his arm, which was thrown across the back of the couch.

What’s your favourite thing about each other? Alex smirked and looked Charlie up and down, winking at the camera. Charlie did something similar, his arm moving down the sofa and grabbing at her hip, making his intentions more than clear. Owen gagged, and spun round, holding his forehead in his hands and shaking his head. “Joking. I love Charlie’s passion. He gets so invested in the things he loves, and watching him speak about stuff he’s genuinely interested in and excited for is the cutest thing in the world. He gets these like sparkles in his eye, and he jumps up and down and god it’s adorable. I also like his abs. They are, in a word exquisite. Not to mention his arms.” Charlie rolled his eyes, but pressed a loving kiss to her temple. “I love how talented Alex is. There’s not really anything she can’t do. Literally, she’s musical, athletic, and she’s like stupid smart. She has a degree. From college. Like woah. And I also love when she gets super excited about something, or when she gets like really emotional- not sad, just when she’s feeling something really intensely, she starts like bouncing up and down in her seat, and clapping her hands or shaking them really fasr. It’s literally like the most adorable thing ever. And her ass. It’s pretty cool too.” Owen coughed and held a hand up. “Right well, there’s one thing she can’t do. She can’t dance. Like at all. It’s quite funny.” Charlie nodded, as did Alex. “Dancing, definitely not my forte. Also, when he says athletic, he means I played field hockey in high school and college. The most exercise I get now is when he’s hor-” Owen stood up quickly, and Charlie covered her mouth with his hand. “Okay, that’s all for this video! Hope you guys are suitably grossed out. Thanks for watching, goodbye!!!”

Owen turned off the camera, and Alex grinned before turning to Charlie, connecting her lips with his in a soft kiss. Finally being allowed to talk about her relationship was a major relief, after having to hide it for so long. “Gross, can you wait til I’m gone at least?” Alex rolled her eyes and flipped him off, climbing off the sofa. “No, cause we’re going out for dinner. Can you call Sav, baby? Let her know we’ll be like an hour?” Charlie nodded, watching her with a dazed smile as she wandered into their bedroom, already tying her long hair up out of the way for a hard session of outfit searching. “You’re in so deep with that one, man.” Owen looked at Charlie knowingly, who just shrugged and continued to smile. “What can I say. She’s the one.” Owen shook his head and rolled his eyes, but he was smiling, happy that another one of his best friends had found real love. Charlie scrolled through the contacts on Alex’s phone, clicking on Savannah’s name and raising the phone to his ear. He jumped when she picked up, holding the phone at arm’s length. “Oh my god, Sav it’s me, not Alex. She said to tell you we’re going out in a couple of hours, and to be ready to go for 7. That cool?” Savannah spoke rapidly on the other side of the line, agreeing and squealing with excitement when she heard Owen would be there. “I’ve missed you guys! Okay, see you soon!” Charlie hung up and set his girlfriend’s phone down, reaching for the remote, and turning on the TV. “Wanna watch the NHL?” Owen nodded, kicking his feet up on the coffee table, and looking at the clock on the wall. It was only half three.

[mallowstep]

If Tadpole had lived Sasha wouldn’t have had run to Riverclan. The only reason she went was because one of her kits had died and she was like “I can’t let that happen again, they would be safer in a clan.” So Tadpole lives. Would this lead to Loner!Moth and Hawk/Tadpole with Sasha? Or what if he lived and Sasha didn’t find them? Three kits lots in twoleg place. Maybe they are found by the remnants of Bloodclan. Or maybe a cat with knowledge of the clans takes pity and brings them to Thunderclan or Windclan. Imagine Moth and Leafkit playing together. Imagine Hawkpaw and Tadpole (Frogpaw? Darkpaw?) fighting over Squirrelpaw’s attention.

dfsklj love all of u anons providing me crucial sasha backstory...i only know her from a shadow in riverclan. i did know that she wanted them in a clan for safety, did not really remember how that worked out w tadpole. it's been a while and i don't usually reread warriors books.

like i buy the kindle versions? because while i'm fine w/ pirating them the graphic novels especially i need the kindle version with their focus mode for graphic novels. i have a really hard time reading graphic novels the way they're "intended" to be read. i do it for ones i love, but it's hard.

uhh so anyway i think realistically it would lead to a loner au, which is why i initially was like "this is a boring au," because i figured they either didn't get up to much villainry or were just loners.

also i think i'd keep tadpolepaw? sure it's a bit wordy but i like it. it's cute. maybe he'd get the option to change it to frogpaw/frog-suffix? i think maybe. leopardstar doesn't seem like the type tho.

if a clan found them...windclan prob wouldn't bc iirc they don't share a border w/ the twoleg place? someone can feel free to lemme know if i'm wrong again i do not have that much knowledge of this, i only know it through how it affects mothwing (my beloved)

anyway!

okay first of all! people can't keep giving me cursed!au ideas by which i mean, i have a squirrelash au already and now? someone is suggesting a hawksquirrel au? whatever will i do w/ y'all?

(jkjkjk my true squirrelflight ship is squirrelflight/self-love, but i do actually really like squirrelash? obviously not canon ashfur, but the ashfur we thought he was pre-po3. bc well? that was the only ashfur i had for a long time i've talked about this before anyway off topic.)

right! i like the idea of them being thunderclan, but i also...uh, at least internally, i think mothwing being in riverclan is important for her character. and hawkfrost's. because of tadpole.

but then tadpole lives, so it's like...i don't know?

one thing is for sure: if they go to thunderclan, there's a medicine cat issue but wait! idea.

okay, so. mothpaw trains as a warrior. she is beautiful and strong, and replaces (or joins) sorreltail in leafpaw's beautiful she-cat crush.

(idk there's something distinctly adolescent and cute to me about the way young teens have all of these wild crushes on everyone. fuck, i had a crush on my colorguard instructor because...of no reason? i'm not even attracted to like? anyway.)

so then! when leafpaw gets taken, mothpaw becomes a medicine cat apprentice. someone has to, and she wants to and maybe, like, maybe leafpaw gets stuck w/ greystripe?

yeahh right. so then they're reunited much time later, and leafpaw has maybe started going by leaf at this point bc it's been like, a year or more, and she's been a loner longer than she was a clan cat. i don't know, i don't really know what happens in the greystripe graphic novel. or super edition. have i talked about my really weird mandela effect with greystripe's super edition?

anyway so yeah! mothwing is a med cat and i don't think i could resist the urge to name her mothpool...y'all don't even know how hard it was to stop myself from doing that in stoalg, i wanted to so bad, but it's literally the ship name, but i couldn't.

i don't think i'm strong enough to do it twice.

right anyway they're very gay and they become two gay wives taking care of the clan.

MEANWHILE.

tadpole and hawk are closer to, like, sorrelpaw, rainpaw, and sootpaw. like when leafpaw goes to the first gathering, mothwing's whole medicine cat drama comes up.

(i have a very clear memory of it because of the sheer number of times i've written a mothpool meet cute.)

so like! i don't know what they're up to? but hawk and bramble definitely have sons-of-tigerclaw drama that freaks firestar out. like a lot. like a lot a lot.

sandstorm: dear, they're not going to hurt you

firestar: but, i'm scared!

sandstorm: he's literally an apprentice

okay, maybe not that much. i'm being funny.

(also, fine, props to the beta editor for letting me use chat inside of a text post. i can do it in html which is markdown valid but you know fine.)

ahem. (the beta editor also doesn't let me preview so that's fucked.)

i do think! hawkfrost still deserves to be a villain. he's one of my favorite villains because he's just a bad guy.

(i haven't finished winds of change i'm a fast reader but i try to pace myself going through things no spoilers i've heard that he makes dad jokes tho? anyway until i finish it it's not canon on this blog.)

like, just like i like the fact that breezepelt is just an asshole! hawkfrost's actions far surpass what you could reasonably say is a response to circumstance.

i don't mean in a, "we can't justify his actions" way, i mean in a "there's not a rational argument that he would have done this if he wasn't just an evil guy."

right! but apparently tadpole is a protective big brother? is that correct? i have no fucking idea?

so tadpole. he's probably...he could be a prophecy cat? i like that a lot better than bramble. kick bramble out his arc finished in tpb anyway.

uhh yeah i don't know where to go with this i just riff off whatever y'all put in my inbox then save the tumblr posts to my "aus to write" folder

(hot tip! if you want to make sure i write an au, just put in an ask giving me a hypothetical about it bc once i start talking all my ideas get a little file where i put everything i want to one day write.)

<3

[varusai]

who do you think is the most dateable dark matter thief?? i know you have an opinion and i need to hear it

sorry for the late response anon i honestly had to think abt this one for a few days lmao, but yeah i have opinions. below the cut bc fr i have opinions, all of them have major pros and cons (based on my characterization at least) and really i just have to break it down for u

Boros, everyones obvious first choice, but certainly not mine.

Pros: rich, tall, pretty, fun af, passionate, will kill for you np, give you anything you want, literally anything.

cons: has a god complex, doesnt respect you, not his number one priority at all, will forget about you once its not interesting for him anymore, probably argumentative/combative af, is very very smart and has no problem manipulating you in all the worst ways, is very entitled so he will never feel bad about anything, cant win arguments either bc he’ll want to settle it with combat, will get offended over little things just to argue bc he thinks thats fun

this is a relationship you’d get into if you literally have nothing to lose and dont care about your mental health. like hes hot but this shit would be toxic af and he will ruin your life and leave you to go fuck around and fight someone on the other side of the universe. this will be the best of times and the worst of times for you and you will never be the same afterward mentally or emotionally. the only way i would even consider it is if i lost my damn mind. The only way a relationship with him would ever work long term is if you were physically stronger than him and were capable of putting him in his place OR you were smart enough, suicidal enough, and interesting enough to him to engage in some psychological warfare and reject him if he asked you. Make him chase you for years, say yes, then decide that /he’s/ boring /you/ and leave him for another member of the squad to just destroy their established hierarchy and humble him to the point that he’s obsessed with you.

i dont have the energy for all that, so i’ll just smash and pass.

0/10 completely undateable

Geryuganshoop, also a probable second choice for many:

pros: cute, nice, tentacle alien (obviously), will respect you np, will also give you anything you want, not antagonistic at all, telepathic communication so no risk of miscommunication, emotionally intelligent and available, loyal to a fault,

cons: horrible boss/best friend that you will have to listen to him vent about for at least 3 hours a day, complete yes man as well so he will not tell boros no or cut him off and you will be stuck dealing with this no matter what, severely mentally ill and wont go to therapy bc he thinks hes handling it well, workaholic, needs a lot, and i mean A LOT of attention

this relationship would be great if not for boros lol. boros sabotages his social and romantic life but geryu has been friends with him too long to either cut him off or establish boundaries. he has no backbone (figuratively and literally) and wouldnt even consider it. he’ll ignore you in favor of his job too, to a massive degree. also i think that while the telepathic communication would be a major plus in most cases, here i feel like i’d have no less than 16 different, never before seen on earth, mental illnesses projected right into my brain just from being within a certain radius of him.

im already fucked up enough in that sense so pass unfortunately.

it would be a yes without boros in the picture tho lmao

so prob like 4/10 iffy datablillity, 1 level increase with each decade of therapy he gets tho so a lot of potential :D

Groribas, my fav girl:

pros: straightforward, realistic, very clear expectations, will not fuck around with you whatsoever like there is no mind games or anything here, will kill for you, rich and non materialistic so she’ll basically just let you do whatever with her money since she doesn t care about it, cares about her job but like...a normal amount. she absolutely has a good work/life balance, highly organized so she will not forget important dates, loyal af and will defend your honor under any circumstances, mean but in a funny way, a ton of fun to hang out with if you’re into that, no eyes so i dont have to worry abt eye contact ever

cons: extremely high expectations, like exhaustingly high, and not even a bit of flexibility there, if you dont meet the cut its a no, she’ll let you know and leave same day, she will also bully you, you need a thick skin and great sense of humor to survive, bad at feelings if you need emotional support???? go elsewhere, shes mega emotionally unavailable, will probably want to share bodies as a form of intimacy

overall its a solid 6.5/10 dateability for me i love the directness and no bs approach, we would def get along well. however, while im not sensitive, shes def gonna hit on some insecurities at some point and it will cause an argument lol. but i mean whatever. it happens. the body sharing would be an issue though, same reason i wouldnt be chill with having a symbiote despite being a major venom fucker. i need my space i cant deal with that. so thats a possible deal breaker if she couldnt get over that lol. and she wont, so we wouldnt work out. i wish it fuckin would tho😭😭😭 i would take whatever crumbs of attention she would be willing to give me

Melzalgald, my fav they/them bastard:

pros: amorphous and shapeshifting aka extremely attractive according to my taste in monsters, tall af but could chose to be a more reasonable survivable size lol, self contained and self-entertaining so they dont need a ton of attention to be happy, funny af, rich, will give you whatever you want and probably a bunch of shit you didnt know you wanted, very fun, built in friend group if you didnt already have friends, extremely emotionally intelligent and great people skills due to living in a collective, stupid af by choice, like some of em are very smart, but they dont claim that, will say fuck work and tell boros to eat shit to spend time with you, will kill for you as well, but only if you ask them to bc their first inclination is to just bother someone to death, very loyal, once they like you they like you really forever, it would take some pretty extreme circumstances to make them dislike you

cons: annoying af and its unavoidable, will talk over you, all of them at once will talk over you and do so loudly, no respect for personal space, they dont even know what that is, will probably accidentally manhandle you, they act stupid but arent so they can be manipulative, even if it isnt bad and they dont really mean to be, impulsive, forgetful of the needs of organic creatures so they will bother you at all hours of the day and night if you arent firm with boundaries, disgustingly extroverted and will bring randoms to your place without asking, or just...make new cluster members and you have to roll with it, will eat or absorb literally anything you have, will antagonize and bother you for fun, major jump scare risk since sometimes the forms are....fleshy

this ones hard for me like theyre hot af and i feel like they’d be super fun and good partners, but god....the noise. idk how long i could deal with that lol i dont like people in my house. it would drive me up the wall, but then again...i can simply kick them out when ive had enough. they arent projecting mental illness directly into my brain or requiring me to share a body sintelligento major plus. creepy thing/symbiote style hot monster without any of the invasiveness so tbh 8/10 dateability

some people date loud annoying extroverts who dont understand personal space that /arent/ rich, loyal, or emotionally intellegent so i’d be winning on a few different fronts lmao

[mego42]

I 100% agree about wanting more fanfic lists! I honestly think it's the best way to get a variety. Everybody has personal preferences, if someone, who mostly reads long, fluffy au Brio fic, is making recs, they're not likely to mention short, angsty, canon Brio (which is understandable and fair!) so ideally someone else, who does like those, would also do recs. I'm pretty sure I've read or at least tried the vast majority of Brio fics, but the recs often make me re-read the fic and author.

YAAASSSS!!! I mean like, okay, I v much get why people have issues with rec lists, and I def do not by any stretch endorse the idea that recs/rec lists should be considered anything other than one person sharing a think they liked, but to me a lot of the issues (the same fics/authors getting recced, feeling like awesome fics/authors are going unrecognized) can be solved by more reccing, not less. everyone’s got different taste and different stuff they look/read for and I am extremely pro sharing that.

Idk, I think about it like this: in a previous internet life I was a YA book blogger and I lived and died by recs from other bloggers whose taste and preferences I knew. I mean, you know, I’d check out a book bc the premise sounded interesting but literally the first thing I would do was go to Goodreads and look for a handful of people who tended to like the same books I did and see what they were saying about it bc that was the best way to get a good idea of if I wanted to give it a shot. Or, on the flip side, there were some people whose reviews I followed bc I knew we v much did not read for the same things so if they hated a book for X, Y and Z reasons, I was probs going to like it (one thing about book blogging is if you want to keep current, you do not have a lot of time to mess around, snap judgements are key but that’s a whole other thing and idk if it’s even relevant anymore bc that landscape has changed so much). 

ANYWAY, the point is, I got in the habit and now I do the same thing with fic bc, tbh, I don’t have a ton of time to read, esp not when I’m actively writing which, with the exception of the last week or two, I’ve been doing p non-stop since I got here. All of which to say is, I am desperately in favor of fic recs for purely selfish reasons, I need them! Give them to me!!! Please!!!!!

That said, I uh, am v bad at returning the favor and I recognize that (I think I’ve made what? two rec lists for this fandom?) so I will try to do better to live by my own, idek what this is, moving on and here are 10 recs not really thematically linked by anything other than I’ve read them and loved them and don’t think I’ve put any of them on one of my rec lists yet (and if I have, my blog is a trainwreck I cannot be expected to remember what’s on it LET ME LIVE):

The Goodest Boy by EnsignDisaster

There’s a key turning in the lock and Buddy rushes over to greet his Master excited for her to meet his new friends. The door opens and he dances around Master’s feet rejoicing on the fact that she’s made it home. It's been literally forever.

“Hey Buddy what’s wrong? Need to go potty? Need to pee-pee?”

“Nah he’s good we took him out.”

Master does something very unMasterlike, she drops all the food she’d brought in on the ground and screams. It’s a non traditional avant garde type of hello…Buddy loves it. Mostly because while Master taps furiously on her small light box and sits tense in the corner opposite his new friend Buddy can lick up the egg smashed on the hardwood floor.

Buddy! The! Dog! POV! no further explanation necessary. Technically WIP, but it covers the whole pilot in a way that could be read as standalone (THOUGH THAT WOULD V MUCH GIVE ME A SAD though, when did the show forget the Bolands had a dog? so maybe that’s a tragic casualty of canon, idk)

May The Moon’s Silvery Beams by @pynkhues

Emma hums in agreement, and Rio turns her around to sit her on the counter, grabbing one of the older looking boxes of muesli while she kicks her legs out, heels bumping back against the counter, watching him. He gropes around the inside of the box, finally just opting to pull the plastic cereal bag out and peering inside. He can’t quite keep the grin off his face when he sees the wad of cash lining the bottom. This woman kills him, she really does.

Then there’s a little face peering up beside him, trying to peek into the box.

“What is it?” she asks, and he tilts the box sideways so she can see inside.

The upside to not getting here until s3 is that old fic is new to me! Huzzah!! Idk how many of y’all have already read this on but if you haven’t I highkey recommend. Extremely cute take on what if Emma woke up when Rio and came by to collect his/Beth’s/whoever's money during the shutdown. Cannot believe I’m reccing kidfic. Witchcraft!!!!!!

Maybe You’re My Fantasy by ohmisterjapan

He fucking loves the involuntary. It speaks to how he likes to unlock chaos and walk away. He's been called a control freak before and it felt like such a misunderstanding of him - he's all about self control but he doesn't want to control others. It's more that he enjoys revealing to them how little they can control themselves. It's more that he likes to stand still in the eye of someone else's storm and pick coldly through the wreckage.

Another oldie but a goodie. This fic is more like an extended character study (first chapter Rio POV, second chapter Beth) and I LIVE FOR THIS KIND OF SHIT. I really really really love the take on both characters, it really digs in and pulls out some nuances that made me sit and think about my own read of them and I love it.

A Shock Of Blue by mintletters16

“You don’t look very well. Would you… like me to get you a glass of water or something?”

Her voice is low but smooth, laced with a softness that cuts straight though to his core. Strawberry blonde locks fall gently just above the pair of magnets freezing him in place.

He can still feel the chaos tearing through his veins - emanating from the gold plated gun stuffed in his waistband - and suddenly he can’t be here anymore. Can’t meet this wide-eyed gaze that’s been locked on his for the past God-knows-how-long anymore.

Can’t see blue alive and concerned when he just left it cold and void somewhere in oblivion.

She’s looking at him like he’s on the brink of madness. He thinks maybe he is.

Apparently, it’s backlist rec day over here and I’m not sorry. This one is another technical WIP but the chapter works as a standalone (BUT if the author decided to return to it I WOULD NOT BE MAD). It’s a what if Beth and Rio met pre-canon and it works so!!! well!!!! The tension and fascination and build are all *chef’s kiss* plus the writing is gorgeous and lyrical and ugh, I love it.

for a moment we were strangers by openhearts

“We got stuff,” Rio motions with a nod to the backpack Beth hadn’t noticed when they arrived hanging on the back of one of the chairs at the island.

She swallows and turns back to the dishes, realizing Rio apparently means to sleep there , assuming the place isn’t bugged.  Or for some kind of cover story if it is.  She turns and fixes Rio with a narrow-eyed stare, studying his face, the corner of his jaw especially prominent from the angle she’s looking up at him.  He’s methodical about drying each dish and setting it back on the rack, maddeningly ignoring her hard stare, so when he goes to take the next plate from her hands she grips it tightly and gets his attention.

“Hey.”

“What you on about now?” he asks, irritated.

It gets her gut uneasy, how he’s just . . . there, settling in, in ways he never had before, no matter how nonchalantly he would let himself in through her locked doors.  

“This is,” Beth tries, failing, to find words for it, “. . . it’s weird .”

This one takes place post 204 and Rio and Marcus end up spending a long weekend staying with Beth and Emma for reasons (that work, for the record, I’m just not trying to summarize rn) and it’s domestic and cute but honestly my fav part of it is how weirded out Beth is by how easily they slip into sync. The story does an excellent job balancing where they are in canon (uneasy post-sex truce) with a snapshot of what they could be if they got over themselves (HA! as if) and Beth is DEEPLY FREAKED which makes her slow slide into realizing she could maybe sort of kind of oh shit like it/him??? that much more satisfying.

Not So Careful by @bensonstablers

When he doesn’t answer, her eyes go to his but he’s too busy watching the letter opener which is still pressed against the back of his hand. Curiously, Beth runs it up his arm, careful not to press too hard, and smiles a little as he shivers. Pulling her leg up onto the bed, she shuffles closer to him before pressing the tip of the sword to his chest and slowly circling his left nipple with it, being sure not to get too close.

“You ain’t gotta be that careful.”

And when she lifts her eyes to meet his, he’s got that look. The one that always makes a lump form in her throat and for her to fall back into bed with him without a single thought of what they have to do that day. Only thing is, this time they’ve got nothing to do for the rest of the weekend and well, staying in bed the entire time had seemed like an appealing idea so she allows herself to give in a little to that look.

It makes me EXTREMELY SAD that knifeplay ranked so low on the kink survey so I’m gonna need y’all to check out this V V V EXCELLENT example of it and come back and tell me you’re sorry and you voted wrong. I am v reasonable what are you talking about.

love (where it wasn’t supposed to be) by @lilliloves

"You know what I can't stand?" Rio asks, stepping closer. It's a rhetorical question but he pauses for a second and watches Dean sniff, watches a bead of sweat trickle down his forehead, watches him shift on both his feet as he contemplates making a run for it.

"A guy who don’t realize how good he's got it." Rio continues, looking Dean up and down in disgust. "A guy that will literally fuck up a good thing just to get his dick wet."

"Yeah, well I can't stand a guy who can have anyone he wants but chooses the married woman he's not entitled to.” Dean shoots back. "And I really can't stand the fact that you're always in the room with us even when you aren't there."

And who brings him into the room Dean hmmmmm????? Jk, jk (or am I). In this one Rio catches Dean out on the town with another woman (bc of course he is) and tries to call him out but whoops! gets called out himself. I really love the like, idk, undercurrent of wistful regret in this fic. I love Dean straight up calling Rio out on his feelings (spoilers but there’s an exchange right after this one that made me straight up holler), and, you know, obvs I am here for Rio making Dean feel like an ass. 

Hell Is Other People by makemanybraver

Rio: We're in Hell, Elizabeth! If you don't think you belong here, then repent! Don't fuck everyone in the room in hopes that you get to go out!

Beth: Why do I have to repent?!

Rio: Because you did some fucked up shit in your life, Elizabeth! You keep doing fucked up shit here, too! And you think you don't belong here!

Beth [screaming at the top of her lungs]: Because I don't!

This fic is existentially bonkers and I love it. It’s the kind of experimental format/homage/what have you kind of thing that I L O V E. Based on No Exit by Jean-Paul Sartre, Beth, Rio, and Fitzpatrick are stuck together in a room in hell for all eternity. What more do you need, honestly.

Working On Things by odenkirk

Unknown Hold up, Elizabeth. I'm really thinkin about you here.

Beth turned her face into the pillow, effectively suffocating herself for a moment, but thinking it was a good trade off for the way the cool silk of her pillowcase chilled her skin.

She lifted her head to glance at the still sleeping Dean before replying.

Beth I'm thinking about you too. But this can't happen.

She wanted him to know she wanted him, but she also thought that admitting she was already there would save Rio from trying to convince her. She wanted him, but morals had to win just once in a while.

YES this is technically Beth/Dean while also being Beth/Rio BUT it’s also sort of Rio/Dean and I am HERE FOR THE DIVERSITY OF SHIPPING leave me alone who asked you.

Five Times He Knew What She Was Thinking, and One Time He Didn't by JoeyLee

Aight, so tell ‘em I was hittin’ it. Said deliberately blunt, eyes locked on her face the whole time, just to see those blue eyes widen. She looked so shocked that he almost laughed, so he softened it teasingly just to keep her going. Oh, I’m sorry, sweetheart, tell ‘em we were makin’ love.

Then he just watched her, just watched her face, just fucking fascinated. Her lips were parted and her eyes were big as saucers, and…there it was. Before she could look away flustered, he watched the thought go through her mind. Him and her together.

He wondered what she was picturing or where. Them in the back seat, her bed, a motel?  Her on top or him from behind or his face between her legs?

Whatever it was, the blush started immediately, and he watched it bloom out from her cheeks to her hair. Then she was tearing her eyes away to gulp a little.  But it didn’t knock her down for long before she was looking back. And then, wait, was she actually asking him how to go about telling a fed they were fucking?

Okay this is another technical WIP but works as a standalone. I am absolutely fucking feral for character POV takes of canon scenes and this is a supremely excellent take on Rio POV of some notable scenes from the pilot through 204. Imo it brilliantly captures Rio’s voice and I love it a lot. 

HEADS UP I am absolute shite at tracking ao3 to tumblr unless people have specifically told me someone’s ao3/tumblr name SO if you recognize any of the non-tumblr authors on please lmk so I can tag them and YES I recognize that I am asking y’all to do things for me throughout this entire post and I’M SORRY OKAY I’M A WHOLE ASS MESS LOVE YOU BYE

[justanotheronechicagofan]

Okay y’all here are my thots on 8x4 that no one asked for here we go ... (sorry this is a long ass post)

*For those where domestic/child abuse is a trigger &/ don’t want to read my thoughts on those scenes where they addressed Hailey’s storyline about her father, I’ve put it last so please click off when you see these ✨🦋✨*

OKAY FIRST OF ALL, they really just hit us with that as the FIRST SCENE HUH??? OhMaDays!!! Lemme just copy and paste what I said earlier because that summarises my reaction really

Just started the newest episode ... I SCREAMED SO LOUD I SCARED MY CAT

All that smiling between kisses 👏 the laughing 👏 THAT 👏 SHOULDER 👏 KISS 👏 me? deceased Am in need of more scenes like this 🥵❤️

JAY ADDRESSING PAT 😭😭😭😭😭 You’re gonna carry this for the rest of your life 😭😭 Also have we talked about the parallel of Haileys father having a heart attack and Jays father also having heart attack / heart problems?? MAN.

I really loved that moment between Jay, Kim and Kev when they’re updating Voight at the board because you can really tell they look up to Jay, trusts him a lot and sees him as a leader.

Kim looks at him and Jay nods at her kind of giving her confidence boost to start off

And then when they pause updating voight because what they found looks bad for voights friend, Jay nods at Kevin to start like it’s okay go for it. They looked to him when they’re uncertain (in this case because they didn’t know how voight was going to take it) and I dunno I just went 💗💗

Ooooo. Upstead interrogating together 🙌❤️ ngl all the upstead scenes just hit different now ya know 🥰

Now, I am not one to usually agree with Voight here but I’m so glad that Sam considered his speech and even paraphrased it in hers.

Also I’m really liking her. She seems like someone that considers everything then makes her own choice not like the previous ones we’ve had where they kind of do what the department wants them to. Also her office is cool. She has swords???!!

Also @buddie-brettsey and I can’t be the only ones that see her and voight having *a vibe*??

Also we still don’t know ...

If this doesn’t get addressed in the next episode I am GONNA THROW HANDS!!!!

✨🦋✨🦋✨🦋✨🦋✨🦋✨

Okay and now for Hailey’s storyline

I have to admit when the episode plot line came out, I was apprehensive to watch because I’ve seen some tv / films that addresses domestic abuse in the plot where I’ve found it a little damaging??

But I’m happy and really thanking the writers for how they wrote it and the actors (especially tracy 🥰) for how they portrayed it.

Specifically for the scene towards the end when Hailey went to the hospital but chose not to go in into her father’s room. That was powerful to me. For them to show that yes you don’t have to meet / talk with your abuser to have closure & recover from your trauma? That concept especially when your abuser was/is someone in your close family is something that takes a lot of time in your head so I’m SO thankful to be able to see that represented on the screen.

I liked all the scenes that addressed this and loved how it showed just again how strong upsteads foundation is 💗💗

here’s the things that made me feel either a) low key uncomfortable b) a lil angry that if I was having one of those days where my tigger threshold was lower I probs would have had to like take a minute;

When Jay said “I know who your dad was and I know what he did but [talks about Pat w/o talking about Pat😭]”, you can see Hailey take a deeper breath. I totally understand why Jay said what he said but no he doesn’t know what Hailey’s dad did.

All those scenes with that young white suspect?? Frickin Hell. I wanted to throw my laptop out of the window :/

Specifically when he referred to being locked in a police car for 3 hours as an “abuse of power” THATS NOT WHAT THAT IS MATE GET A DICTIONARY! DUDE, You can’t just casually throw the word abuse around!! In the scene you can see Hailey growing increasingly uncomfortable and then that phrase is the last straw that sends her out of that room. Again, that’s not what abuse of power is especially with how badly poc but specifically black people get treated by law enforcement.

Now for some more things I liked v much 💖

Jays oh no face looking like a kicked puppy when he realized he unintentionally hurt Hailey 😭😭

Hailey saying “You don’t know half of it” YES. V. TRUE.

Jay immediately responding with “You’re right” and following it up with “I’m on your side” 🙌🙌🙌 boyfriend jay coming in strong 💗

Hailey saying “I don’t want your help not with this” Oof. been there gal. Also very realistic.

VOIGHT KNOWS. That look 👀 he just knows about upstead y’all.

Jay going into Hailey’s apartment for their thing that works and checking if she’s okay 🥰🥰🥰 him not saying anything & no judgement can be seen even though you can tell Jay knows Hailey’s lying

Phew! Blimey that was a long one! If any of y’all wanna chat about it even more I’d be down 🙌💖

[allforhader]

Risky Behavior

Milo Dean x M Trans Reader

[Reader is FTM]

Warnings: Langauge, Smut

Requested by: @beepbeepmotherfu

Never expected to be noticed. You’ve been friends for a year and the feelings grew gradually but you didn’t see it coming.

Y/N sat on the floor outside of Milo’s apartment waiting for him to get home. He wasn’t paranoid, he texted him when he flew back to LA. Y/N picked him up from the airport and took him home. His aniexty got the best of him but it all subsided when Milo knelt down in front of him.

“Howdy”

“Hey” Y/N smiles as Milo stood to his feet holding his hand out helping him up onto his feet. “Took you long enough”

“Sorry” Milo smiles nervously as he rubs the back of his neck. “I had therapy. It was honestly the only thing that keeps me here without my sister blowing a fuse thinking something bad is gonna happen”

“Ha. Uh. Guess I gotta meet the sister, to be the second thing keeping you here...without her having to worry” Y/N suddenly states as Milo looks at him confused for a moment before suggesting.

“Wanna get a drink?”

“Yes” Y/N laughs at his quick answer making Milo laugh before wrapping his arm around Y/N’s shoulders.

After a short walk to the nearest bar, Y/N bought the first round as he hung out on a bar stool while Milo started the dart game. He watched from where he was sitting, over-thinking about what he said early...honestly making him only down his drink to get another.

“I’m gonna fight”

“You can’t fight something that isn’t gonna fight back”

“Touché. But it’s looking at me funny”

This conversation happening outside of the bar as Y/N continued to stare at his own reflection. Milo laughs a bit, him also being a bit drunk, instinctively locked arms with him to make sure he doesn’t wander off. Y/N’s mind struggled to think of a straight thought that would keep him from saying anything but it wasn’t going to go anywhere he wanted.

“Wanna get out of here?”

“Back to my place?”

“Yes sir”

“Okay, alright. Watch your step” Milo states the second Y/N stumbled a bit, thankful he’s holding onto him.

As the two headed back Y/N started being a bit more obvious than normal.

“I have a secret”

“A secret?”

“I’m....never mind”

“Nooo...come on”

“Nope. It’s embarrassing”

“Then you should’ve have said anything...” Milo whines a bit leaning against the lobby door as he fiddled with the code while Y/N spins for a bit.

“I like somebody”

“Oh?”

“Mhm! Yes sir. Don’t know what I’m gonna do about it” Y/N leans into the door the moment it unlocked as he fell on his ass when it pushed opened. “Wow. The cosmic whatever is telling me something”

Milo laughs a bit stepping in and not only pulling Y/N out of the door way, but helping them back on his feet. The second he stood to his feet, the two locked eyes with one another sharing a moment that lead to Milo closing the gap between them. Y/N brought his arms around his neck as he couldn’t stop thinking about how soft his lips were against his. Milo pressed Y/N up against his door the moment they reached his apartment.

“Wait...wait wait” Y/N pulls away from Milo. “I’m not doing it out here”

“Gotcha” Milo wrapped his arm around the small of his back using his free hand to take his keys out unlocking the door, pushing it open before turning himself around pulling Y/N in.

The moment the door closed, Y/N was pushed up against the door once again as he grabbed Milo’s collar pressing his lips against his. Milo ran his hand up Y/N’s shirt causing shivers to run down his spine. Y/N gently pushes Milo back so he can pull his shirt off catching a stare from him.

“You’re really hot Y/N” Milo states watching Y/N’s face continuing to heat up. He brought his hands onto Y/N’s face pressing his lips once again onto his but with more passion than before.

The heat was building up as Y/N fiddled with Milo’s belt finally getting it off. Before he undid the buttons, he parted from Milo catching his eyes.

“It’s okay, I don’t bite” Milo laughs a bit before being handled by Y/N as he was pulled then turned and pushed up against his door. “Well didn’t that kickstart something in you” he smirks watching Y/N kick off his shoes before getting on his knees.

“There’s a lot...I can do”

Not even a minute goes by and Y/N already unbuttoned his jeans pulling his dick out of his boxers and running his tongue along the base up to the tip. Milo not controlling the moans coming out of him as Y/N went slow with his jerking still working with his tongue. Milo ran his hand through his hair gently pulling back hearing Y/N whine from such as he glared at him.

“Gonna keep being peachy?”

“Being impatient to wreck me Milo? Come on...let me take my time” Y/N smirks suddenly deep throating after catching a glance to Milo’s flushed face, immediately catching him off guard.

“Ah fuck” Milo moans while Y/N moves his head bobbing on his dick only getting wild up himself.

Y/N pulls off when Milo rest his hand on his head. He looked up licking his lips playfully making Milo’s mind run wild.

“Don’t want me to continue?”

“No, I wanna make you feel good” Milo states the moment Y/N stood up, he started helping him out of his jeans and before he took off his boxers. Y/N grabbed onto his shoulders halting him.

“S-Sorry...”

“We don’t have to”

“No no...I want to just...”

Milo brushed his nose against his catching his attention. “Y/N?”

“I uh...can’t do this if...if it’s one-sided” Y/N held onto his shoulders as Milo brought him close.

“Can you just say it?”

“I love you”

“And I too...I’ve loved you and I didn’t know how to like tell you...when I wasn’t right in the head”

“God” Y/N pressed his forehead against Milo’s as he held onto his shoulders. “Now I feel like a dick”

“Oh shut up” Milo pulls away grabbing his face. “May be a bit tipsy but come on. Don’t be that way...we go through a lot of shit on a daily that we don’t want to tell those we love”

“I know...God I know...”

“Then let me make you feel good. I’ll go slow...I won’t rush anything...I love you and I want to make you feel secure like how you do everyday when I’m with you” Milo states as Y/N brought his arms around his shoulders pressing his lips against his as his hands trail from his waist to his ass bringing him up against him. Milo moaned when Y/N thrusted his hips up against his dick making him squeeze his ass making him jerk forward.

“You gonna take me or what Milo Dean?” Y/N parts looking at Milo in the eye before laughing a bit with him.

“That was cheesy”

“I know” Y/N laughs a bit kissing him more.

“But I’d happily do what I gotta do” Milo smirks picking him up and carrying him to the bed doing his best not to run into anything.

Milo tripped over Y/N’s shoes landing on top of Y/N but thank god they landed on the bed. Both getting a kick out of it. Milo laughs going back to kissing Y/N as he lets go to take off his pants and boxers while trailing his kisses down his body. Y/N held his head the moment he reached his waist feeling him run his thumbs along the band pulling off his boxers before bringing himself up.

“Can you grab a condom from the drawer?” Milo asks as Y/N reached over while he took his shirt off.

Y/N looked back enjoying the site as Milo gave him a worried look from the staring.

“What?”

“What? Can’t I just admire the view?” Y/N coos handing him the condom as Milo couldn’t stop blushing from that comment.

Milo put the condom on but before he aligned himself at his entrance, he introduced his fingers to get him prepped. Y/N arched his back moaning the moment Milo inserted two of his finger and started curling them. As he curled his fingers he pressed his thumb against Y/N’s clit making him buck his hips holding onto the bed sheets enjoying this feeling.

“Mm...do I really need to fuck you senseless when I’m enjoying the site?” Milo smiles as Y/N grips a handful of his own hair biting his lip trying to contain his moans. “Come on...don’t have to hide anything from me”

Y/N gave him a very flustered look as he reached and grabbed his face. “Please...Fuck me”

“Hm” Milo continued to to curl his fingers making Y/N moan before suddenly pulling them out making him gasp.

He aligns himself at his entrance and before another word was spoke, he pushed himself in hearing Y/N moan louder than before. He gave out of a second staying in that feel as Y/N clenches around him feeling Milo put one of his legs over his shoulder angling himself. Making himself go deeper.

“A-Ah...fuck”

“You alright?”

“M-Mhm...” Y/N held onto the sheets again biting the inside of his cheek.

“I’m gonna start moving, ok?”

“Yeah..”

Milo started thrusting and Y/N already felt like he was going to give out even if he started off slow. The faster he got the louder Y/N got which only wild him up more.

“M-Milo”

“Yeah.”

“I’m gonna—“

“Fuck—“

When they both climaxed, Milo held it there for a moment while Y/N shook from underneath him. He pulled out slowly taking off the condom and disposing of it before gently laying on top of Y/N.

“I did a good job if you gave off that bad”

“Jesus Christ...” Y/N relaxed the best her could as he felt Milo’s hands trail up his thighs and planting on his side. “You...were fucking great”

“Right back atcha”

“Oh god...I was too loud wasn’t I?”

“I loved it. But prob risked a complaint from my neighbor”

“Fuck...”

[exhaustedfander]

moxiety with fake dating? mayhaps with some gay panicking because ahhh cute stranger hold hngg hand??

I was having such stupid technical difficulties ith Word, but here it is, sorry it’s been like three weeks, lol. I’d love to hear what you think! 

a03 link

word count: 3,008

Fake it Till You Make it 

Virgil’s always careful whilst staking out a seat in the coffee shop he frequents. He makes sure not to sit in an area that’s too crowded, as to bypass unnecessary human-contact, while simultaneously avoiding the table too close to the door that lets a draft in. He’s been coming here a long time now, as it’s the closest place to his College, as well as the fact that the coffee is reasonably priced, and the atmosphere is pretty damn cozy. Also… there’s a barista that happens to be the cutest man Virgil’s ever laid his eyes on, but that’s beside the point! 

By now, all of the staff know his order – a cinnamon Cappuccino with enough whipped cream to drown in – like the back of their hands, so he has to worry about social interaction a lot less than usual. The adorable barista in question, Patton, has only ever taken his order, sweet as can be while doing so, but Virgil’s never really talked to the guy. Not that he plans on it! That is waaay too nerve-racking to so much as think about, thank you very much. Sure, he can get lost in those ocean-blue eyes and often fantasizes about running his hand through those strawberry-blonde curls but talking to him is strictly out of the question. He likes this coffee spot and would really hate to have to find a new shop all because he’s made a fool of himself. 

So, it’s not hard to imagine Virgil’s utter shock when he finds that very same barista standing beside him, a dazzling smile on his face.

“Is this seat taken?” He asks, in reference to the chair beside him, and Virgil’s fairly sure he forgets how to breathe for a moment. 

“Uh – no,” he manages to stutter, “It’s all yours, man.” The barista grins, sitting beside him. 

“Thanks… Virgil, right?” Virgil blinks surprised he’d remember something as inconsequence as his name. 

“Yeah,” Virgil says, “My, uh, friends call me Virge. You can, too, if you wanted to.” Virgil despises the way his voice is trembling; why is he so fucking nervous? It’s just basic, human, social interaction (with the most beautiful man to grace this Earth, but basic, human social interaction nonetheless)

“Sure, thing, Virge. I’m Patton,” he says, as though Virgil hadn’t memorized the name on his nametag the moment, he saw him. “I like your pin, by the way.” 

Virgil glances down at the Bisexual pin on his backpack, feeling heat rise to his cheeks. It’s not like he’s missed the rainbow shirt he’s seen peeking out from behind Patton’s apron sometimes – an apron he doesn’t currently have on, meaning he’s off the clock, also meaning instead of going home, he’s sitting here, talking to him. So, yeah, Patton’s probably gay, and he’s talking to him, but that doesn’t actually mean anything. It doesn’t stop Virgil from panicking quite a bit, though. 

“Thanks,” Virgil says, trying his absolute hardest to keep his cool. He’s wanted to talk to Patton for so long, but he hadn’t imagined it would ever actually happen. 

“You come here a lot, huh?” Patton asks. Virgil rubs at the back of his neck, struggling to maintain eye-contact. 

“Uh- yeah. This is a cool place, and it’s not too far from my school.” Virgil fails to mention the fact that Patton’s a big reason he comes in nearly daily, thinking such a detail might come off as super creepy.

As awkward as Virgil is, a conversation is struck up. He learns that Patton is a student at his college, too (How the fuck did he manage to miss a face like that??) and that he’s studying to be a Veterinarian, which Virgil finds a little funny, considering he’s terribly allergic to cats. Patton’s a big fan of dad-jokes and puns, and while he can try and groan, it just manages to make Patton all the more adorable. He also discovers that yes, Patton is gay and that he first came about a year ago. 

“Yeah, my parents weren’t too thrilled,” Patton says in a voice that’s desperately trying to stay chipper, but the sorrow creeps in all the same, “They still aren’t.” 

“Mine either,” Virgil says before he really knows what he’s saying, “I haven’t, uh, talked to them in a long time. I might never again, honestly.” A look of sympathy crosses Patton’s face, though it’s clear that he relates, maybe more than he wants to admit to himself. 

“I’m so sorry to hear that, Virge.” 

Virgil shrugs. It’s nothing new. He came out to his parents at seventeen, a choice that was quite the feat considering the level of anxiety he suffers from, and it hadn’t gone well at all. His folks hadn’t kicked him out, but they’d insisted that he was never to take a boy home. At first, Virgil had tried to get on their good side, they were his parents, after all. But it didn’t take long for him to realize what a fruitless venture that was. They weren’t going to change, regardless of how much he wanted them to. 

Once he got to college, he had an opportunity to meet a few really great people, despite his social-anxiety, individuals who had shown him how important it is to have positive relationships in life. At this point, it could undo a few years of positive change to let his parents back into his life, and Virgil wasn’t about to go and do a thing like that.

“It’s alright,” he says, “They’re assholes, anyway. I got some pretty cool relatives though, and some really good friends, so that helps.” Patton frowns, and suddenly Virgil decides he despises the sad expression on him, wondering what the hell he could do to make it go away.

“My parents are assholes too,” Patton murmurs, as though saying such a word is incomprehensively bad, and as if Virgil hadn’t said it too about three seconds ago. “They really are. I’ve been trying. Trying so hard to be patient with them and allow them time to adjust but… it just isn’t happening. They’re still talking about when I end up with “some lucky lady.” I don’t know…” Patton pauses, his eyes widening, “Oh my goodness, I’m sorry.” Virgil tilts his head. 

“What for?”

“For dumping all that on you. I mean, we hardly know each other. It was rude of me.” 

“Nah, man, you’re good. I was just talking about my parents, there’s no reason to apologize. And I should know, I’m kind of the king of apologizing for shit I didn’t do.” Patton cracks a small smile at that, and Virgil swells with a pit too much pride. “My point is, you didn’t overshare, or anything. We’re just having a conversation, you’re good, I promise.” Patton looks relieved. 

“Thanks, Virgil. You’re really nice.” Virgil’s heart can’t help but soar a little bit at that. Sometimes, he’s convinced he’s a massive asshole, despite his friends insisting that it isn’t. but it’s really nice to know that Patton thinks he’s nice.

“No prob, Pat. You’re nice too.”

“Well then, I’m glad we were able to break the nice,” Patton says, earning a half-hearted groan. “I’ve kinda wanted to talk to you for a while, actually.” Virgil’s heart skips a beat. 

“R-really? Why?”

“Because,” Patton says with a smile, “You always seemed so interesting. Mentioning your Pin was, uh, kind of just an excuse to talk to you,” Patton admits and, holy shit, is he flirting?! Virgil can’t tell, but sirens are going off in his head regardless. 

“I – uh,” Virgil bites his tongue, trying to come up with a dignified response of some kind, but failing to do so. “Thanks?” Despite Virgil’s criminal lack of tact, Patton just smiles, a look that quickly disappears when he gets a notification and checks his phone.

“What’s up?” Virgil asks, before realizing it’s hardly his business. He’s known Patton for what? An hour or so now – oh my god, Patton’s been talking to him for over an hour – and that doesn’t give Virgil the authority to inquire upon the barista’s personal life beyond what he’s already been told. Patton shakes his head.

“My cousin Dalilah getting married next week,” Patton explains, despite Virgil’s hesitation, “She’s one of the only family members who I’m really close to; she’s such a sweetheart.”

“Then what’s wrong?” 

“My mom and dad are going to be at the wedding,” Patton sighs, “And I don’t have a date. If I show up without some guy on my arm, I know they’re just gonna assume that the crisis is over, and they can set me up with the next available girl. They already think me being gay is a phase, this is all the reason they need to think the phase is over.” A sad look flickers in Patton’s eyes and instantly, all logic or uncertainty that Virgil’s clinging to goes out the window.

“What if I was your date?” Patton’s eyes go as wide as saucers and, oh shit, he really just said that aloud.

“W-what?”

“L-like a fake date,” Virgil backpedals, his heart rate spiking in a matter of seconds, “So t-that your parents aren’t dicks to you. Or at least, are less of dicks.” 

For a moment, Virgil almost dares to think that the explanation made Patton look kinda… disappointed? Not that it would make much sense, it’s not like he’d actually want Virgil to be his date. 

“Virgil you… you can’t be serious.”

“Well, why not?” Virgil asks, knowing he’s most probably going to regret this later, “You’re a cool guy who’s in a shitty situation. Your parents are going to be relentless to you, and I don’t like the idea of that, so… why don’t I make things a little easier for you?” Virgil says, impressed he gets through it without feeling as anxious as he had a few moments ago. 

“I couldn’t ask you to do that,” Patton mumbles guiltily, his eyes cast on the table, “I wouldn’t want you to sacrifice your weekend just for me.” 

“Pat, I was just gonna aimlessly scroll through Tumblr till two in the morning and watch shitty TV. And– erm– being your fake date sounds a lot more interesting to me.” (Not to mention nerve-racking!) Patton meets Virgil’s gaze once more, relief etched into his features.

“You’d really be willing to do this?” Patton asks, “You don’t need to, you know.”

“I want to,” Virgil assures. “So, what do you say?” Patton thinks for a moment before that beautiful smile spreads across his face anew.

“That sounds perfect! Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!” Patton says, standing up from his chair and throwing his arms around the emo, “You’re a lifesaver, Virgil!” Virgil stiffens in the awkward embrace, before accepting it to the best of his ability, trying not to freak out because Patton fucking Hart is hugging him! 

“Sure thing, Pat.” 

After that, arrangements are made. As it turns out, Patton isn’t the biggest fan of lying, hates it, honestly, which makes things a little trickier. But a compromise is come to that they met each other in the Coffee shop, which was true and had been on a few dates prior to the wedding. While that wasn’t technically true (God does Virgil wish it was) they do spend several days throughout the week hanging out and getting to know one another. And within those few days, Virgil’s infatuation with Patton inflames to a full-on crush which is just great.

Getting better acquainted with him, Virgil finds himself quickly getting used to Patton’s bubbly personality. He’s eager to pet every dog he comes into contact with, he enjoys baking quite a bit, though he’s not great at it, he’s adorably awkward in the best ways and he’s one of the kindest, most genuine people Virgil’s ever met. 

Usually, Virgil’s so well-guarded, but with Patton, he’s opening up quicker and more willingly than he has in such a long time. Patton listens with such compassion, and while Virgil’s really happy to have the other friends that he does, he’s never met someone as sweet as Patton is. It’s almost a little overwhelming at times, how caring he is. 

Before they know it, the day is upon them. Virgil gets a rental suite while trying not to swoon at Patton in his sky-blue tux, because really, how is it legal for him to look that cute?

Patton grabs his hand the moment they walk into the venue, sending Virgil a careful glance and squeezing his hand just slightly.

“This okay?” He whispers, ever the compassionate one, and Virgil nods.

“Yeah, ‘s okay.” Virgil can’t recall the last time someone held his hand, and he certainly can’t remember the number of times he’s imagined Patton holding his hand, prior to them even being friends. 

They take their seats, and the ceremony proceeds as usual. It’s beautiful, not that Virgil is paying too much attention, distracted by Patton’s nervous glances toward an older couple that must be his folks.

“Hey, are you alright?” Virgil asks quietly. Patton forces a smile, his eyes trained on his cousin and her fiancé.

“Yeah, I’m – I’m fine,” – he doesn’t sound fine –, “It’s just…” Patton trails off, his gaze flickering back to his parents for a moment. Virgil places his hand over Patton’s, who’s trembling is noticeable immediately. Carefully, Virgil runs his thumb over Patton’s knuckles in an even, circular motion. Luckily, it seems to calm Patton down to a degree, and he doesn’t take his eyes off of Dalilah for the rest of the ceremony. 

However, almost immediately upon the afterparty starting, they’re cornered by Mr. and Mrs. Hart.

“Patton, you didn’t come and say hello,” his mother scolds. 

“Well, there were a lot of people,” Patton says nervously, “I figured we’d –.”

“Who’s this?” Patton’s father interrupts, gesturing to Virgil standing beside him.

“Virgil Storme,” Virgil says as calmly as he’s able, extending a hand for the father to shake. Mr. Hart’s hand remains rigid at his side. “I’m Patton’s boyfriend. It’s nice to meet you.” 

Virgil can’t help but notice as anxiety wells up inside of him because, fuck, they’d never said they were going to call each other boyfriend’s, just that they’d been on a few dates, but Mr. Hart had such a smug look and he couldn’t help it. Despite his raging internal monologue, Patton plants a hand onto the small of his back, lips curling into a smile.

“That’s right,” Patton says, “Mom, Dad, this is my boyfriend.” 

The look of slackened shock on their faces would be priceless, weren’t it for the fact that these are still Patton’s parents, individuals who’ve had a direct influence on him throughout the entirety of his life.

“You’ve never – you’ve never mentioned a boyfriend before,” Patton’s mother says, glaring at her son. 

“And certainly not one who looks like some kind of a hooligan,” Mr. Hart grits, gesturing to Virgil’s dyed purple hair and pierced ears. Virgil intends to let the insult go, as it would only cause more trouble to confront it, but Patton has other ideas.

“Hey, you have no right to talk like that about Virgil,” Patton says, an edge to his voice that Virgil had yet to hear until now. Virgil grips for Patton’s hand, lacing their fingers together and giving him a reassuring squeeze.

“How long has this been going on, sweetie?” Mrs. Hart chimes in, though it’s unclear if she’s referring to Virgil himself, or Patton’s sexuality as a whole. Either way, it’s a poor choice of words.

“My whole life, mom,” Patton spits, a venomous tone that would surely be louder if they weren’t at a wedding, “I’ve been gay my whole life, and nothing is going to change that.”

“But –.”

“But, nothing,” Patton interrupts boldly, “I’m not having this conversation, not again. If you can’t accept the fact that I’m never going to end up with ‘some nice girl,’ and that Virgil is absolutely wonderful, then we haven’t got anything to talk about.”

The words are a slap across Mr. and Mrs. Hart's face, who reel back in shock. 

“Patton, son –.”

“Goodbye,” Patton says, realizing it might very well be the last time he says it. He begins walking out of the reception and Virgil follows close behind. They make it outside, and luckily there’s no one else around.

“Pat… are you okay?” Virgil asks, reaching out to touch Patton’s shoulder.

“I’m done, Virgil. I’m done being gentle for them, I’m done pretending. It’s not worth it.” Pride wells in Virgil, even though he’s known Patton a little less than a week. 

“Well, then, I can tell you that was amazing! You kicked ass, Patton! Did you see the stupid look on their faces? They were so –.” Virgil is quickly interrupted when Patton’s lips collide against his, fingers gripping his lapels. Virgil needs a second to adjust and realize this is actually happening before he kisses back just as fervidly, his hands threading in Patton’s curls that are soft to the touch, just as he’d always imagined. 

“We’re – we’re not still pretending, right?” Virgil asks dumbly, and Patton shakes his head with a laugh, light, and airy.

“No, no of course not. Unless… you want it to be pretend?” 

“No! God, n-no! You’re amazing, Pat, you’re so kind, and soft and good and cute and… oh god, I’m rambling.” Patton giggles again, and Virgil decides it’s one of the best sounds he’s had the pleasure of hearing. 

“It’s cute.” 

“You’re cuter.”

“No, you are.”

The never-ending debacle of who is cuter is decidedly ended when their lips meet again, and Virgil’s positive this outweighs anything fantasy had to offer.

In the end, Patton hasn’t told a lie. Virgil is his boyfriend, even if they didn’t start the day out that way. The two walk back into the venue, hand-in-hand, watching as the Hart’s avert their eyes and Patton happily introduces Virgil to the family and friends who matter. 

Virgil’s never been so glad he walked into that coffee shop.

=+=

Taglist:

@nadiestar

@unoriginalgayboyalex 

@maryann-draws

Please let me know if you wanna be added to my general taglist! I’d be happy to add folks!

[thermie]

h h hewwo owoo 22 / 23 / 29 / 31 / 34 / 50 / 58 / 61 / 88 in any order, and u can also just. pick only those that u want :3

hhhh-ewwwo? I did say I wanted to chat and I desperately do not want to do work or studies so buckle in for a long post (derogatory). 22. role model? Oh man, I don’t think I have any, like, specific ones for entire things, though I do fall in my hero-worship phaes and then fall out of them like everyone else. I think that taking an entire person and being like I wanna be like them is... not for me though. But I do look up to some people for specific things - I look up to, weirdly enough, Abigail Phylosohpytube who I didn’t watch before her coming out for her graceful coming out video though she admits that the experience wasn’t obviously as smooth. I look up to lots and lots of people for their ability to create and their art (not gonna tag my fav artists bc am tiny and do not want people to look at me, but i do be reblogging). I look up to people like ConcernedApe Stardewvalley and Supergiantgames Hades for their ability to put so much soul in their work, smth I aspire to do. I look up to @not-poignant for, among other things, their idk how to say it best, wisdom in understanding and communicating with others and with myself? I’ve learned a lot by just sort of being in their periphery and seeing how they articulate their thoughts and choose to be kind and witness other’s pain. Hell, I look up to twitch streamers and youtubers sometimes (the recent nice trait I’d like to have if I ever went into bigger content production is how ibxtoycat deals with parasocial relationship realities). 23. strange habits? Hm. I don’t think drinking tea whenever I need a pick-me-up is strange, that’s just probably forcefully assigning a British nationality to me. I think my insistence on misspelling words in a way I think is lowkey funny might be one, I say thamks bc it feels softer, or thank bc it’s funny, I say sleeb, I say finkers or tryink or otherwise replace g with k for lulz. I also don’t know if it counts as a habit but I have a small leather band around my wrist that’s been there for a year soon. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm I probs have like, stranger habits but I can’t recall rn. 29. best way to bond with you? Hmm. Well, if you show initiative and are explicit about wanting to spend time with me, that’s already a big chance of me spending time with you. And then if our interests match and I don’t think that you’re like, young in a way that automatically puts me in a position where I don’t feel comfortable really being myself around you bc in my head I have to look out for you (it has happened with two of my friends, sigh), and we regularly spend time together, voila, friend acquired. It simultaneously doesn’t take much and takes a bit to be my friend and bond with me - it’s easy af to become a casual friend cuz I’m always open to new people, but there has to be a level of trust to become like, a close friend. Respecting my boundaries, talking shit with me, being explicitly committal about wanting to bond with me are big steps that way. 31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? Uh, I don’t do neither, but a current fave that is reasonably badass is my black tshirt with like, a ritual circle and a deer skull. V edgy, 10/10. I also used to have like a real edgy tshirt with a jester and some dice that said the game of life, but I threw it out bc dysphoria. or maybe I put it at the back of my closet along with one other shirt In Case I Get Top Surgery so I can wear them then. 34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? Many, such is the nature of advertising, alas. I have managed to avoid most of it tbh though, so the only place I am forced to sit through ads so they stick is my scrabble capitalist nightmare app where I play and always beat haha my coursemate. And they have adds for those shitty apps where you have to solve a puzzle that ends up failing in the add and like, drenching a man in green goo. I find those kinda fascinating tbh. Who plays these games? Who plays these shitty shitty games whose ad has to be “prove your IQ“ to make you want to prove yourself to play them? Oh and also, the insidious nature of ads in media I consume - the mcelroys have gotten me informed about many many things bc they do it in a funny way. Have you heard about squarespace? What about meundies? I also literally installed honey yesterday that I knew abt bc of the relentless adds and I wanted to save, uh, 2.50 from my minecraft server purchase (and then spent some time googling how they make money before giving up. just say u sell my data, that’s easier than not knowing what part of this makes you money). I was tired and in a weird mood, ok. 50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? It’s always the stupidest jokes, what matters more is laughing together with someone and getting caught in a laughing loop. I still remember laughing with my siblings until our stomachs really really hurt bc I think one of us said a rug was vomit-colored and it was funny in the moment. How many times have I laughed like that with you too, vit. I know that Laura’s one is nostrilatu, right? :D :D It’s just something that catches you off guard, I think.

58. four talents you’re proud of having? Oh shid. Hm. 1) My ability to analyze data and understand the basic building blocks of something. Makes me cool at studying and sexy at explaining things to my course-mates. 2) Not a talent more like a skill that I’ve worked hard on through therapy - but my inner positive voice/healthy parent is very strong and automatic (something I was sure would never happen). A good example is me going out for a walk, my phone dying so I can’t listen to music, when I went in my head “well I can always make music in my head. do-do-do *drum sound*“ and I could feel the wave of self-reprimand cresting but before I could actually hear any negative comments the positive voice said with a light of a thousand suns NO THAT IS ACTUALLY CUTE AND SEXY and just haaaaaaah. 3) I sing good. Need to sing more. 4) I think I’m good at making conversation. Even with people I don’t necessarily like or want to talk to. More of a skill again but whatever. 61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? Do not come to me and ask for favorites, witch. Uh, I have some quotes in my notes app, like 7 from Pia’s writing :D. But imma go with “It’s a serious thing just to be alive on this fresh morning in the broken world“ by Mary Oliver. It counts, ok. Or, wait, something I will for real one day either crosstitch of commission shitpostcalligrapher: “t’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something. “What are we holding onto Sam?” “There’s good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it’s worth fighting for.“” 88. your greatest wish? Hrm. Right now? To have like a couple days with no responsibilities and without the outside world bearing on me as heavily, to be tiny tiny tiny so I’m invisible and can drink tiny tea on a tiny leaf. Uh, in general? My recently formulated wish or a goal is stability/peace. Then everything else becomes ok because you can bounce back to stable ground between feeling shit or everything happening so much. And I’ve sort of reached that. Also like, half a million euros would be nice too so I can get a house and a car and go on a few trips abroad. :D // there’s two ask memes in my blog recently, go wild

[marai-posts]

Do you have survivor predictions? Who? How many?

You wanna know? You wanna hear my ramblings driven by psychology, character studies and paying WAY too much attention to game decisions made by the devs?

Well since you asked >:3

Alright let's get into my character survival predictions for the remaining Ultimates!!

Also I know this is the last Dangan game for a while so I'm actually assuming there will be less survivors then usual ( plus the rules suggests as much ) so a lot of these 'predictions' are me just understanding that most of these people are gonna be killed.

But let's start the theories, shall we?

Obviously Shuichi lives, so he takes up a slot.

I'll begin with Kokichi and Miu since they're my faves. I'll be blunt here:

These two are gonna die.

Miu for sure, I can't imagine a final trial with Miu popping off at the mouth every five seconds so she's def gonna kick the bucket

RIP Miu Iruma 100% gonna die sorry you are a hot mess and I love you but you gotta go

Kokichi is the 'rival' character so he has a coin flip chance whether he'll live or die. They 'killed' ( ? ) Nagito but they left Byakuya alive so idk if they'll spare Kokichi but they probably won't cause they like to hurt me

So Kokichi has a 60% chance he'll die but he better die for a reason or I'm gonna be pissed

Next, Korekiyo,,, okay look. I love him, I love his design and I wish he would survive but you know what? He's not gonna.

Everyone knows he's gonna kill someone. Even the game looked at this dude and was like oh yeah he'll kill someone. I'm sure it'll be heart tugging and the execution will be beautiful but I'm just saying if he becomes the focus during any point in the next chapters during that class trial I'm gonna have him pegged as the killer sorry

So yeah 100% gonna be executed

Keebo...is too cute. I want him to live so bad. But he's really sweet so he probs won't??

Like, I'd enjoy him being a survivor and there's a small chance and stuff, but tbh I'm not gonna get my hopes up cause I actually like him a whole lot and if I let myself believe he'll survive it's gonna hurt more if he doesn't

I'm leaving him 50/50 for the sake of hope

Let's do Kaito too, cause I'm pretty fond of this man right now. So it's clear Kaito is not gonna be a survivor for one reason. Him and Shuichi are really close. Like, really close. So close you have to wonder if they're setting up a more impactful death...

My guy deserves better but 98% gonna die

Next is...

Gonta. Gonta Gonta Gonta.

On one hand it's hard to imagine anyone killing him, and I'd be really surprised if he kills someone else, but I also can't imagine him as a survivor? So for this one I really dont know. We all thought Mechamaru couldn't be killed but he got murked so

70% chance he'll die, but I hope I'm wrong

Okay these next two are important:

Tenko is gonna die. She def deserves better but I'm gonna be straight up; she'll die.

I actually wanna talk about this first because it leads into my Himiko prediction.

So she's being built around her love of Himiko and while the kid doesn't even appreciate her right now, if they get closer I imagine she'll be used for development. Tenko is kinda being disrespected by the game and I'd love for her to grow outside of Himiko, but,,

100% killed for Himiko development

On that note, Himiko. I'm gonna be honest, right now I don't like her very much. I'm sure she'll grow on me but at this point in the story she's lowkey rude to Tenko and it bothers me. But that being said, every single game there's a character I think absolutely nothing of and they end up surviving. I usually like them by the end of the game but still. It never fails. I thought nothing of Hagakure the entire 1st game and guess what? He lived. I didn't care for Kazuichi all that much (even thought I love him now) and he also lived. My gut is usually right so I'm gonna throw my neck out there and say she's a survivor babey!! Even though there's definitely better characters that they could keep alive but I probably just need to see where she goes as a person. Rn she's just,, irritating :/ but they're setting her up for some heavy character development so idk

Or I could be totally wrong?

Either way Himiko 95% sure she's a survivor

The other 5% is because she could become an easy target if Tenko/Angie dies in an impactful enough way to make her lose her spirit and just mope around waiting to be murdered tbh she's short maybe Gonta accidentally steps on her or smthn

ANYWAY

Moving on to Angie! I have no idea! :D

She's cute and funny and has a lot of energy but if they keep Himiko alive then she'll probably end up sleeping with Atua.

Sorry Angie depending on where Himiko goes you're either a survivor or a victim. So I'll also place her 50/50 with Keebo

Okay next is Maki, and I'm also gonna say she has Great Potential to survive.

She's Special, and the game likes her so I wouldn't be surprised. I could see her in a final trial setting, plus she reminds me of Toko in the sense that everyone expects her to kill but she won't bother, and no one could kill HER so she just ends up surviving the whole game because she just does her own fuckass thing until the games over lmao

She definitely is Important and I'm pretty sure she's gonna play a part in the final trial. Plus I like her so: 100% she's a survivor.

Okay.............

Alright......

Listen...

I saved Tsumugi for last because ever since I MET her I've been side eyeing the fuck out of her and since then I've been keeping a really REALLY close eye on her....and I'm about to drop either a TOTAL crackhead theory or I ruined the last trials reveal for myself AGAIN WHY DO I DO THIS

And NO ONE is to confirm this in any way okay, I don't wanna know if I'm right yet

But that being said;;;

Tsumugi is the Mastermind.

HEAR ME OUT

Every single character we've met so far actually had a solid act, I understood each of their roles in Danganronpa's favorite trope game but Tsumugi...is just weird.

She has no presence, and only talks to say something odd, and she's immediately glossed over at all times. I've looked over the characters trying to imagine each of them as the Mastermind and she's the only one who like,, feels like there's way more too her then just 'strange' and I've called the mastermind Every Single Game so I'm pretty sure,, I just fucked myself over,, my bad guys,,

Anyway putting her aside, the final results:

100% Survivors: Shuichi and Maki

Possible Survivors: Himiko or Angie

I want them to live so bad but they probably won't and I'm crying: Kokichi and Keebo

I'm sad about it but they're still gonna die: Miu, Korekiyo, Kaito, Gonta and Tenko

Sus: TSUMUGI

Alright now that I've revealed my thoughts on this I'd appreciate if everyone complied and didnt confirm anything I've said

These are just my personal thoughts and whether I'm right on the money or completely and utterly incorrect, I'd like to keep as much of it as a surprise as I can keep from my gremlin prediction brain so,,

Thanks for your understanding!