#I really don't have words to express how much I hate this temple and the Minamoto family at this point.

[hanako-san]

Amane at the age of 4 saw a hole in Tsukasa's stomach. The mother also noticed that there was something wrong with her son and she also knew that her son was not behaving like he always did, he was different.

and professional exorcists noticed nothing. Tsukasa is consumed by this thing and they didn't notice anything, seriously? Are these supposed to be the 'defenders'? and 'exorcists' lmao. When Tsukasa fulfilled Kunshinge's wish, instead of doing something and helping the family, knowing that there was something wrong with this kid, he was afraid to do anything He allowed this tragedy to happen knowing that his mother was right. But being Minamoto's servant and protecting the 'Minamoto Princess' is what he does best.

[theostrophywife]

Hey! I love your work! I was wondering if you could do a Azriel x reader fic where reader doesn’t know a lot about males and so az (maybe he already has a thing for reader) offers to give her lessons? The more NSFW the better 😉

innocence.

author's note: sorry for being m.i.a. please accept this as my apology gift. largely inspired by this song. you can't tell me that az doesn't have the biggest corrpution kink 😏

it started out innocently enough.

one winter evening after a particularly rowdy wine night, you and azriel laid in a heap at the house of wind, giggling at nothing as the warmth of the alcohol lowered your inhibitions and loosened your lips.

"never?" azriel asked incredulously, his brows creasing in the most adorable way. "you've truly never kissed anyone?"

you pouted, crossing your arms. thanks to cassian and his big mouth, the shadowsinger now knew the true extent of your naivete. growing up in the high priestess's temple in the dawn court, you had devoted much of your life to duty and training, which left little to no room for encounters with the opposite sex.

it never bothered you before. until you moved to the night court and met the shadowsinger. azriel was beyond gorgeous and smart and funny and probably well-versed in the art of seduction, which is more than you could say for your inexperienced self.

"don't tease, az." you groaned, covering your face behind your hands. as if that would hide the flush spreading through your cheeks. "i'm already mortified enough as it is."

"hey," azriel said softly as he gently grabbed your wrists. "it's nothing to be embarrassed about, love."

"you're just saying that to be nice."

the shadowsinger shook his head. "i torture people for a living," he deadpanned. "i am not nice."

you chuckled, which brought a smile to azriel's handsome face. "besides, practice makes perfect. i've seen you go from not knowing how to hold a sword to perfecting the eight point attack in a matter of weeks. kissing should be a piece of cake compared to that."

"kissing and fighting aren't the same thing."

azriel smirked. "it is, if you're doing it right. all it takes is a good teacher." the tips of your ears reddened. “and we all know how fast of a learner you are.”

you snorted. "somehow i doubt that nesta would be into the idea of letting me borrow her mate for lessons." a little frown formed on your face. "or maybe she would. you never know with those two."

the idea formed in azriel's mind before he could think better of it. the shadowsinger hated that he thought of it in the first place, but fuck. you were both a little tipsy and a tiny bit reckless and he'd been crushing on you for far too long and maybe tonight was the night he finally did something about it.

"i could teach you."

you stilled. “what?”

azriel shrugged and put on his most nonchalant expression even though his inner monologue was currently pure turmoil. “i could teach you how to kiss.” he cleared his throat, lowering his gaze to yours. “it might help to practice with someone you’re comfortable with.”

you cocked your head, weighing his words. “you’re…actually serious about this.”

“why wouldn’t i be?”

“well, wouldn’t it make things weird? you’re my best friend. best friends don’t just kiss.”

you had him there. azriel certainly had never offered this unique service to any of his friends before. “i don’t think it’s weird. i think it makes perfect sense. in fact, it’s weird that we’re not kissing right now. best friends kiss all the time,” the shadowsinger deadpanned.

you snorted. “so you and cassian are just having heated little makeout sessions behind me and nesta’s back?”

azriel winked. “i won’t tell if you don’t.”

that earned an earnest little giggle out of you. then you were quiet again, lost in the pros and cons.

pro: you really wanted to kiss azriel.

con: you really wanted to kiss azriel.

what if you were horrible at it? what if you had bad breath? what if you accidentally bit him? what if azriel figured out that you had a pathetic little crush on him and he doesn’t return the feelings and your friendship implodes then you’d have to move back to the dawn court and adopt a bunch of cats just like thesan always teased you about when you were children—

“you’re spiraling.”

you crossed your arms. “am not.”

azriel rolled his eyes fondly. “i can practically see the steam coming out of your ears.” his expression softened as he turned over on the couch, his chin perched in one hand. “you don’t have to if you don’t want to. i just…” the bob of an adam’s apple. “i just wanted your first kiss to be with someone who genuinely cares about you.”

that turned your insides into mush. “oh.”

the shadowsinger’s cheeks reddened. “never mind, it sounds silly now that i’ve said it out loud.”

“it’s not,” you said, sitting cross legged on the sofa. “it’s not stupid, az. it’s really sweet, actually.”

your heart hammered inside of your chest as you faced azriel. his hazel eyes glowed golden under the faelights and a warm flush colored his cheeks a rosy tone. from this close, you could make out the constellations of freckles that kissed his nose and cheeks, its traitorous little trail stopping just above his cupid’s bow. you couldn’t help it. your gaze went straight to his lips. they looked soft, sensual, and perfectly kissable. you wondered if he’d taste like sweet wine.

“y/n?” azriel murmured softly.

“hmm?”

“you’re staring.”

your cheeks reddened and a slight smirk tugged at the corner of azriel’s mouth. “you’re the one who brought up kissing,” you countered, raising a brow. “now i can’t stop staring at your stupid lips.”

the shadowsinger’s smirk grew wider. “my stupid lips,” he repeated. “that you want to kiss.”

“no,” you blurted. azriel raised a knowing brow. “yes. maybe.” you shifted awkwardly. “what if i’m terrible at it? what if i accidentally miss? what if i don’t know where to put my hands? oh my gods, what if i accidentally bite you?”

to his credit, there wasn’t an ounce of judgement on azriel’s face. he’d witnessed your outbursts enough times that he wasn’t even fazed by it. the shadowsinger grabbed your hand and traced soothing circles over your knuckles. “one, no one’s first kiss is great. at best, it’s weird and awkward because you’re just trying to figure it out. that’s kind of the point. two, you won’t miss. just follow my lead. three, the neck or waist are generally safe spots to place your hands.” azriel demonstrated by wrapping your arms around his neck. “lastly, i don’t mind if you bite me. in fact, i might enjoy it.” he gave you a cheeky wink that helped dissipate the rest of your anxious worries.

you chuckled softly. leave it to azriel to make you laugh mid freak out. the shadowsinger smiled and cauldron fucking boil you, the sight of it pretty much sealed your fate.

“so,” you murmured, toying with the loose curls at the nape of azriel’s neck. “what now?”

“that’s entirely up to you, love.”

you blinked. once, twice. the smell of cedar and starkissed night. freckles and rosy cheeks. warm, golden eyes that melted your insides like honey. scarred hands that caressed the side of your face with heartbreaking gentleness.

“kiss me, azriel.”

the shadowsinger did not need to be told twice. he tilted your chin, brushing his nose against yours for a brief moment. azriel took a deep breath like he was savoring the moment, like his entire life had been leading up to this. then he kissed you.

his lips were as soft as freshly plucked rose petals and as sweet as the wine that still coated your tongue. they pressed against yours, gentle and exploring as azriel cupped your cheek. you leaned into him and your fingers found purchase in his silky, dark locks as azriel deepened the kiss. his arm snaked across your back as he pulled you into his lap, his mouth never once leaving yours. the sweet innocent pecks did not stay innocent for long.

the shadowsinger groaned as you nestled into him. there wasn’t an inch of your body that wasn’t pressed against him, but still you wanted more. your hands moves of their own accord and slipped underneath azriel’s cream sweater. his skin felt like a warm summer day despite the fact that it was currently the dead of winter.

“fuck,” azriel growled into your neck.

you pulled away, startled. it didn’t even occur to you that your fingers were as cold as icicles. “shit. sorry, az i didn’t think—“

you slipped your hands out of his sweater, but azriel caught you by the wrist. “no,” he grunted, his voice dark and low and dangerous. “no, don’t stop.”

it was the hottest thing you’ve ever heard in your entire life. even hotter still with the way azriel tugged you to him as though he’d rather die than have you stop touching him. you greedily obliged, taking the lead this time. azriel cursed under his breath as you kissed him again, tangling his curls between your fingers. there was something intoxicating about him—his taste, his touch, his kiss. you couldn’t get enough.

when you finally came up for breath, the shadowsinger looked at you as though he’d been starving for centuries and you’d only really begun to scratch the surface of his hunger. azriel wanted to devour you.

but tonight, he’d settle for a kiss. except, it was anything but.

azriel was fucked.

he blinked, drinking in your lust added gaze and flushed cheeks. you brought your bottom lip between your teeth and it was all he could do to reel himself in. “are…are all first kisses like that?” your voice was hoarse from disuse and utterly sexy.

“no,” azriel answered honestly. “i’ve never had a kiss like that.”

your grin brought out a set of dimples that azriel had long ago deemed as his greatest weaknesses. “and i’ve never had a first kiss, period.”

and you never will again, azriel thought. not if he could help it.

“does that feel good, love?” azriel asked as he pressed a kiss against your collar bone.

you whimpered as his lips trailed between the valley of your breasts. since that first kiss, you and azriel hadn’t been able to keep your hands off of each other. over the last few weeks, the apprehension you felt about your inexperience slowly started to feel like a blessing in disguise. azriel said you were a fast learner, but only because he was such a great teacher.

“gods,” you breathed, clutching the sheets as azriel continued his descent.

“you can just call me az, you know.”

you rolled your eyes at the cheeky male below you. from this angle, he certainly looked like a god. his hair was a tousled mess, dark curls tangled from where you ran your fingers through it. sweat dripped down his shirtless torso, his golden brown skin glowing in the afternoon light. you were vaguely aware that the sun as setting over the horizon, which meant that the rest of your friends would be arriving for dinner, but neither one of you seemed to care.

during the past few weeks, you and azriel continued your lessons. first base was easy enough to master. the two of you put in plenty of hours sneaking off to make out in azriel’s room, the wine cellar, the training pits, and even in feyre’s art studio at the river house once when things really got desperate. it was a wonder that your friends hadn’t caught you yet. there had been several close calls with cassian. mostly because the male was a nosy busybody.

second base took a little more work. you were terrified at first. you and azriel had been making out in your bed for what seemed like hours before you finally mustered up the courage to slip your hand into his trousers. the shadowsinger made a sound that was half growl and half purr and for a split second you were afraid that you’d hurt him. when you voiced your fears, azriel was quick to reassure you.

“i’m not in pain, love.” azriel said, his voice strained and breathy. “trust me, i feel the complete opposite.”

“tell me how to make you feel good, az.”

the string of curse words that fell from his lips were so filthy that it made you blush. the shadowsinger guided your hand over his cock and you nearly gasped at the impressive length. azriel was hot and hard beneath your touch, his wings flexing as you grasped him in your hand.

“loosen your grip, love.” azriel adjusted your hand, motioning for your fingers to relax and mold against him. you mimicked his movement, eliciting a low rumble out of the shadowsinger. the competitive part of you awakened, eager to make azriel groan like that again. you gazed up at azriel through your lashes with determination. “gods, don’t look at me like that y/n or this lesson will be over before it’s even started.”

heat erupted in your core, but you shook the desire away. this was about azriel. you wanted to make him come undone for once instead of the other way around. “show me, az.” you said. “i want to see how you touch yourself.”

“cauldron boil me,” azriel muttered under his breath. “you’re going to be the death of me, y/n.”

you watched as he gripped himself and pumped at a steady pace. he slowed down the movements for you and you studied each flick of his wrist as though you’d be tested on it later. as sinful as it was, there was something heavenly about watching azriel stroke himself. your hands itched to touch him. once you felt confident enough, azriel let you take over.

azriel’s eyes rolled back as you pumped his shaft, carefully watching the rise and fall of his chest. his heavy breathing filled the room and it quickly became your favorite sound in the world.

you felt a strange rush of power witnessing azriel in such a vulnerable state. his lids were heavy with lust, golden eyes barely visible from the ring of onyx swallowing up his irises. you thought he looked pretty like this, his head tilted back against your headboard while his lips parted to release a shallow breath every now and then.

"you have no idea how good that feels, love." azriel grunted. you tightened your grip, spreading the bead of precum over his tip. your little improvisation was met with a moan that seeped into your bones.

"how good, az?" you teased.

those long lashes of his kissed the tops of his cheeks as his eyes fluttered close. "fucking amazing," azriel declared. "keep going, love. don't stop, please. gods—"

"you can just call me y/n, you know."

azriel growled in response before pulling you in for a heated kiss. his hips thrust up to match your pace as his tongue parted your lips. he swallowed your moans, devouring you like his life depended on it.

“just like that, love.” azriel said in appreciation. “you’re doing such a good job, y/n.”

the praise affected you more than you thought it would. you were always seeking positive feedback when it came to your work, especially in training, but this was something else. it only encouraged you to keep going at a faster pace until azriel was coming undone in your hands. the sight of him losing control would forever be etched in your mind.

the more azriel gave, the more you craved. not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. the whole thing may have started as a practical way to tackle sex, but as time went on, it started to evolve into something else entirely.

until the lessons weren’t really just lessons anymore.

if you had to pinpoint the moment when everything changed, it would have been a few days after winter solstice. azriel had been away for a mission and was unable to make it home for the festivities. throughout the night, you kept finding yourself fidgeting and glancing at the empty seat beside you. at one point during dinner, cassian squeezed your hand and smiled sadly.

“i’m sure he misses you too, y/n.”

the gravity of those words hit you full force when you found azriel standing in the doorway of your flat. he was still dressed in his combat leathers and dark circles formed underneath his eyes as though he’d flown nonstop from wherever he was to get back home. before you could stop yourself, you rushed at him and nearly knocked him into the street from the force of your hug.

“i know, love.” azriel murmured softly into your hair. “i missed you, too.”

one bath and two cups of hot chocolate later, you found yourself curled up on the sofa as snow fell softly against the windowpane. you set your drink down on the table and turned to face azriel.

“so, i was thinking…”

the corner of azriel’s mouth quirked. “that’s never good.”

you tossed a pillow at him and rolled your eyes. “i was thinking that maybe it’s my turn to teach you a lesson, for once.”

the shadowsinger looked intrigued by that. “oh yeah? and what do you want to teach me, love?”

“i’m going to teach you how to sleep, az.” you pointedly stared at his bruised eyes, which only made him chuckle in amusement. “because judging from those bags underneath your eyes, you’re no expert in the matter.”

“i don’t get a say in this, do i?” shadows peered over his shoulders as though they too yearned for rest.

“nope,” you said cheerfully, dragging him off the couch and into your bedroom.

azriel let you bully him into getting underneath the covers. he tucked his wings to the side as he faced you. “what’s so great about this thing you call sleep, then? seems pretty boring to me.”

“well if you’d let me demonstrate,” you said impatiently before tugging him towards you. azriel chuckled and scooted closer. “i’ll have you know i’m a world class cuddler.”

“yeah? prove it then, love.” azriel teased.

the shadowsinger watched in amusement as you bossed him around. first you made him lie on his stomach and then pulled him to your chest. as much as he enjoyed teasing the absolute hell out of you, he couldn’t help but murmur in satisfaction as he rested his head in the crook of your neck. even his shadows seemed to enjoy bathing in your warmth and breathing in your jasmine shampoo.

“mmm,” az mumbled sleepily. for the first time in gods knew how long, he felt warm and safe and content. “you’re bossy as hell, but comfy too.”

“i know, you stubborn giant bat baby.”

the shadowsinger snorted. “giant bat baby?”

you rolled your eyes fondly. “shut up and cuddle, az.”

azriel burrowed himself further until his body heat warmed every inch of your skin. “that’s the good stuff,” he declared, brushing a soft kiss against your collarbone.

“told you i was good,” you said with a smile. azriel couldn’t even argue. with your hands massaging his scalp and your legs intertwined with his, the shadowsinger would’ve agree to anything you said.

“the best,” he hummed against your skin.

this was dangerous territory. with your other lessons, it was easy to shove aside your feelings because pleasure made it hard to think about anything else. but with azriel laying on your chest and clinging onto you like this meant something more…you could no longer avoid that pesky voice of doubt.

you were in love with azriel.

you had been for a long time.

shit.

“y/n?” azriel asked, cutting through the turmoil of your thoughts. his wings draped over the sides of your bed, relaxed and at ease.

“yeah?”

his golden eyes found yours in the dark. for a second, he stared at you like he was trying to commit every detail to memory. the shadowsinger opened his mouth like he was going to say something important, but he gave a tiny shake of his head and smiled.

“good night, love.”

in that moment, you knew azriel had your heart in the palm of his hand. “good night, az.”

azriel knew it was only a matter of time before these lessons came back to bite him on the ass.

he had been so eager that first night. mostly because he'd had a crush on you for so long and it was finally time to do something about it. the shadowsinger knew that he probably should've just told you how he felt, but he didn't want to shatter this delicate thing between you.

after all, these were just lessons. for all he knew, he was just your practice partner. it wasn't really all that different from sparring. except your weapons where your lips and your hands and your fucking smile that made his heart skip a beat every time you so much as grinned at him from across the room.

gods, he was so fucked.

the reality of it didn't fully hit him until that disastrous spring night.

the two of you had perfected third base eons ago. azriel knew how to make you cum with his mouth using a combination of expert tongue flicks and help from his shadows. nothing brought him joy like your shaking legs greedily wrapping around him as he ate your pussy like a man starved.

azriel thought he found the key to happiness until you returned the favor and went down on him.

finding restraint was hard. reeling his desire in while you knelt before him with your lips wrapped around his cock was nearly impossible.

"like this?" you asked, licking a stripe along the underside of his cock. azriel thought he was going to come right then and there when you looked up at him through your lashes, determination burning in your gaze.

you had always been intense. azriel knew that much from months of training together, but he didn't expect you to approach sex with the same competitiveness. you put your all into everything you did, which is what made azriel fall for you in the first place. he just didn't think you'd take the same approach when it came to sucking his dick. not that he was complaining.

in fact, all he could really do was moan.

the shadowsinger attempted to pull it together long enough to utter a coherent sentence. he had to at least attempt to say something helpful. you were putting your trust in him. he liked knowing that he'd been your first everything. now he just had to muster up the courage to tell you that he also intended to be the last.

he tried. he really did.

that night in his room. laying in bed with your legs tangled together. the soft spring breeze billowing through your curtains. azriel watched as you propped yourself up on your elbows and turned towards him.

"so, what now?" you asked.

azriel's brows furrowed with confusion. "what do you mean, love?"

you tilted your head, biting down on your bottom lip as you mulled over what to say next. it was one of your many little quirks that azriel adored. "i mean, what happens now? we've pretty much covered all the bases. except for one."

sex. you hadn't had sex yet. azriel knew this would come up sooner or later, but he had hoped it would be the latter. while it was easy to pretend that the lessons were just lessons to him, azriel couldn't do that with sex. it had always been hard for him to separate his feelings from the physical act and as much as he wanted to make sure that your first experience would be with someone who loved you, it wouldn't be fair to have sex without telling you the truth.

"i don't think that would be a good idea." as soon as the words left his mouth, azriel knew it was the wrong thing to say. he could tell that much from the look on your face. "i just mean, we shouldn't rush into anything."

"rush?" you asked incredulously. "azriel, we've spent the last three months doing anything and everything under the sun except sex."

"and it's been great," azriel said, trying to reel the conversation back in. "the lessons. trusting each other. but i just think you should take a step back and consider if you're truly ready."

that intense gaze he loved so much suddenly felt like the sweltering sun that azriel couldn't wait to shy away from. "you were my first kiss, az. my first everything. i think i've made it pretty clear on where i stand." you paused for a second, scanning his face. "oh my gods. i didn't even think to ask if you wanted this."

you were up before the absurdity of that statement could sink into azriel. if he wanted this? he'd never wanted anything more in his entire life.

"they were just lessons," you murmured to yourself while gathering your clothes. “how could i be so stupid?”

"y/n, please." azriel pleaded, not entirely believing what he was hearing. he nearly tripped over his own bedsheets as he followed you across the room.

“no, az. i’m sorry, i thought—“ your eyes brimmed with tears. the sight broke his fucking heart. “it’s not your fault. i just assumed—“

“that i’m in love with you?” azriel asked, gently gripping your wrists. you froze, wide eyes pinning azriel in place. “because i am, you know. i’ve been in love with you since the moment we met. this past few months, it’s killed me to pretend that whatever this is between us is just lessons.”

your gaze softened. “why didn’t you ever say anything?”

azriel chuckled bitterly. “because i’m a coward. i was scared that you might not feel the same way, so i settled for whatever scraps you were willing to give me.”

tears filled your eyes again and azriel was scared he’d fucked it up again, but you wiped your cheeks and cupped his face. “you deserve more than that, azriel.”

“i know, love.” he bowed his head. “and you deserve more than just lessons. that’s why i don’t want to have sex. not unless you know what this means to me. if we do this, there will be no one else. not today, not ever. i may be your first, but i also intend to be your last. if you’ll let me.”

a stray tear fell down your cheek, but it was a happy one this time. “if you haven’t noticed, i’m totally crazy about you, az. i think i’ve been in love with you longer than i wanted to admit.”

“can’t blame you,” the shadowsinger said. “i’m totally lovable.”

you smacked him in the chest, but azriel only laughed before he kissed you. really kissed you. it felt like you were floating on air.

gods, you loved him. you really did.

you smiled into the kiss. “i love you, az.”

the shadowsinger kissed the tip of your nose. “i love you too, y/n.”

“so…no more lessons, right?”

azriel shook his head and scooped you into his arms. “no more lessons. i want the real thing this time.”

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Just Take It | Bonus Drabble 5

Summary: Fracturing your ankle was the last thing you wanted to do this weekend but I guess it's not that bad when you have your handsome husband to be your caretaker. Slice of life drabble from the future 🤭 Pairing: Inexperienced f!reader x Best Friend's Dad Jungkook (20 year age gap) Word Count: 2.9k (damn it's been a while since I put one of these out haha) Warning: Some suggestive language if you squint really hard lmao, oc is a pouty baby because she's in pain lol a/n: Barely edited per usual Requested by: 🧜‍♀️ anon 🥰 Start from the beginning

"How are you feeling?" Jungkook asks me once we're both in the car. "Humiliated" I say, hissing when I try to readjust my leg. "People fall all the time when they're hiking darling it's not that big of a deal" he tries reassuring me but it only makes me feel worse.

"But it didn't even happen on a rocky part or anything. We were literally walking on flat ground" I groan, my embarrassment increasing after running through what happened in my head again, remembering how many people were staring at us. 

"Honey it's okay" he chuckles, leaning over to help me with my seatbelt before he puts his on. "I basically tripped on air" I groan, not giving up on how mortified I am, the pain making everything seem so much worse. 

"Hey" he says, cupping my face and making me look at him while he rubs the space between my eyebrows in an effort to smooth out the scowl I'm making, "It's not the end of the world, I promise. It might've been a little embarrassing but it happens to the best of us" he says and my scowl turns into a pout, calming down a little but still upset with myself.

"Did you really have to carry me like that?" I cringe at the thought of how ridiculous we probably looked. "Like what?" he furrows his brows, "Like you were carrying me over the threshold after our wedding" I say, covering my face as if it would help get rid of how shy I felt on top of the humiliation.

He chuckles as his only response leaving me slumping back in my chair, not wanting to snap at him just because of the pain I'm in.

"You sure it's only a sprain?" he asks and I hum, "I've had one before and it felt just like this so I'm sure I'll be fine once we get home and I can ice it" I say and he nods his head.

"Then let's get you home" he agrees and pulls out of the parking lot.

~~~~~

"Are you sure you don't wanna go to the hospital? I can schedule an appointment instead so we don't have to go to the ER if that's what you're worried about" he asks me for the fifth time tonight but I think I've gotta give in since I don't remember my ankle ever swelling up like this.

"Okay" I mumble and he walks up to where I'm sitting on the couch and kisses my forehead. "That's my girl" he praises, handing me the snacks he's prepared for our movie night before plopping down right next to me.

He rests his arm around the back of the couch so I can lean into him while he starts up the movie we chose but as the night goes by the pain gets worse and I have to remind him about making the appointment before we go upstairs to go to bed.

"I don't mind taking you to the ER if it's getting that bad" he says, looking at me with a pained expression, hating that I'm hurting. "I think I'll be alright for the night, can you just help me get upstairs?" I ask and he smirks remembering my earlier complaints.

"Does my bride need me to carry her to bed?" he taunts and I give in, agreeing with him and he gives me a soft smile and a kiss on my temple as a response.

"You ready for bed?" he asks and I nod my head, taking another look at my ankle and growing wary about what could've happened. He turns off the TV and stands up, scooping me into his arms, careful not to move too fast but I still hiss when my foot droops a bit and I notice that the pain killers have worn off.

My hiss turns into a whimper and right after I can feel tears start to well up in my eyes and I can't control it anymore, the pain hitting me in waves as he gets closer to the stairs but turns to walk towards the guest bedroom instead.

"I'm not taking you upstairs if you're crying from walking on flat ground. I really wish you would let me take you in already" he says, placing another kiss on my temple before he lays me down on the bed and quickly grabs some pillows to prop it up adjusting it for me until he sees i'm comfortable.

"No I can w-wait until morning" I say, choking back the tears now that it's supported again. "You sure?" he asks and I nod my head one last time and he decides to respect my wishes.

"Okay well your appointment is at eight AM so you'll have to wait until then to be seen. I'll call them when I wake up to see if they have any cancellations so we can get in earlier" he says and I give him a sad smile while when he wipes off my tear stained cheeks.

"I love you" I mumble and he chuckles, "I love you too baby. You know I'm always gonna take care of you. In sickness and in health remember" he says and I chuckle for a second or two.

"There's that smile I love" he says, cupping my face before leaning down and placing a kiss on my lips. "Can you get me some more pain killers please?" I mumble after he breaks the kiss. He hums in agreement, "Sure baby" he says and places one last kiss on my lips before he goes to get them.

He comes back with a glass of water and another snack making me smile. "I'm gonna go grab your phone charger for you too and this is just in case you get hungry in the middle of the night" he teases. "But aren't you gonna sleep in here too?" I ask, worried that he might leave me alone. 

"I can't honey, I might move around too much and bump into your ankle. I don't want to hurt you" he says and I understand but I hate sleeping alone. "Okay" I say and pull the blanket over my head so he won't see how upset I am about all this. He knows though, he always knows. 

"Bunny please don't cry" he say softly, kneeling down next to the bed once he hears the first sniffle. I had just been crying after being moved in here so the news of him not sleeping here with me was easy for me to get upset about. "I don't wanna sleep alone" I say under the blanket and he sighs, pulling it down so he can talk to me properly. 

"I don't like sleeping alone either Bun but I can stay with you until you fall asleep if you want" he offers and I dry my tears and nod, satisfied with the compromise. I just don't like being alone when I'm hurting like this. I know we could just head to the hospital right now and then we can be together but I know both of us deserve some rest before going since I don't know how long we would be there at this hour. 

He picks up the arm chair from the corner of the room and sets it right next to the bed. "You don't wanna just come a lay down?" I ask and he chuckles. "Oh I definitely want to but it would defeat the whole purpose. Just close your eyes and try to get some sleep okay?" he responds and I nod, doing as he says and soon I find myself drifting off.

~~~ 

When the alarm goes off for us to wake up I groan and reach for my phone to try and turn it off but instead of grabbing my phone I end up grabbing a shoulder, opening my eyes and finding Jungkook laying his head on my lap and an arm draped over my thighs while he's fast asleep. 

I smile and finally reach my phone on the night stand and turn off the alarm. I lay there for a minute, admiring his sleeping face with his lips slightly parted letting out soft snores and I brush his hair out of his face so I can see him better, stirring him awake a little. 

"Did you sleep in here all night?" I ask softly and he hums in contentment from the feeling of me playing with his hair before he responds. "I didn't want to leave you alone" he mumbles and my heart warms at that. "Thank you honey" I say, brushing my thumb along the scar on his cheek and he gives me a sleepy smile. 

"We need to get ready to go" I remind him and he nods and takes a deep breath before sitting up slowly and cracking his back. "You should've gone up to bed Daddy" I tease and he narrows his eyes at me. "You better stop that before you start" he lets out in his deep morning voice and as much as I want to push it we really do have to get going. 

~~~~

"If you took one last bad step you could've completely broken it" the doctor says, bringing the x-rays in so we can take a look and I wince seeing how deep the fracture had gone. "So what happens next?" Jungkook asks, letting me focus on the x-ray a bit more while he talks through the next steps with the doctor. 

"We need to set everything back in place and put a cast on her. It'll take anywhere from six to twelve weeks to heal and from the looks of it it'll probably be closer to twelve. "That's three months!" I say in disbelief, dreading the fact that I'll have to be off my feet for that long. 

"Yes but good news is the baby looks strong and healthy so you have nothing to worry about on that end" he says in regards to the ultrasound we had taken just to double and triple check on them especially after the x-ray. I landed on my ass so I wasn't too worried but it doesn't hurt to check. 

"Thank God" Jungkooks says, taking my hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. "But no more hiking. You'll be around six months along if I'm not mistaken by the time your cast comes off and you'll have to take some time to restrengthen it afterwards" the doctor says and I nod my head in agreement. 

"Got it" I respond and I can see Jungkook deflate a little since it's one of his favorite things to do together but he understands how important my health and safety is as well as the baby's. 

"We can get you into surgery in the next twenty minutes or so so just hang tight and one of the nurses will come get you when we're ready" he says and we give him our thanks before he slips out, leaving us on our own. 

"You okay?" Jungkook asks and I smile, "Yeah, I'm just glad they're okay" I say, placing my hand over my little baby bump and he places his right on top of mine. "Me too" he agrees and leans down to place a gentle kiss on my lips and we wait patiently in the room until they're ready for me.  

~~~~~

After the surgery is done and dusted and he's managed to get me home he places me down on the couch, having carried me inside again even though I told him I was completely capable of using the crutches. He said, "No wife of mine will ever have to use those when I'm around" or something to that extent just to make me laugh, and it did.

"You take such good care of me" I say, blinking up at him slowly, still feeling a little out of it from the anesthesia since I knew I couldn't go through all of that if I was awake. "Just doing my job Bun" he says, leaning down to give me a kiss before going back outside to get my crutches out of the car, just in case I decide I want them. 

After coming back inside he grabs the footstool and sets it up to I can keep my leg elevated and puts plenty of pillows as well just like last time. "Doc said the pain meds would start waring off soon and that I should have you eat something before you take your next dose. Any requests?" he asks, walking over to the basket of blankets we have in the living room to drape one over me.

Everything he's done has just made me fall more and more in love with him and at this point I didn't even realize that that was even possible. Maybe I just had low standards from before but I don't know, maybe this is what true love looks like. It's not in the big gestures or the lavish gifts. It's the simple things like this that matter the most.  

"Bun?" he calls out to me and I realized I hadn't answered his question yet "Oh, um whatever you want is fine. You took me to my doctor's appointment and the pharmacy and everything so you can choose" I say and he nods, heading into the kitchen to start making us lunch and before I know it he's already grabbed a tray and placed it in front of me so I wouldn't have to go anywhere.

"Thank you honey" I say and he caresses my cheek before walking back to the kitchen to grab his food. When he's on his way back I hear the doorbell ring and look over at him, wordlessly questioning who might've come to stop by but he just smiles at me and opens the door, accepting some sort of food from a delivery driver which has me confused. 

"What's that?" I ask, the plain white bag a mystery to me until the scent of fries hits me and my mouth is watering. He sees my eyes light up when I figure it out and he chuckles, "And I got you your favorite" he says, handing me one of the two drinks he had brought in as well and I already know what it is. 

"Is that a mango milkshake?" I ask excitedly and he smiles while I take the lid off and take a sip, my milkshake mustache making him laugh. "That good huh?" he teases and I hum, "The baby was craving it" I say making excuses and he shakes his head but puts the fries on the plate next to the sandwich he made me. 

I take a fry and dip it in the milkshake and take a bite, and I can see him laughing again. "What?" I ask, not seeing what about this could be so funny. "You always dance around when you're eating your favorite food" he says and I roll my eyes. 

"Would you rather I dip a pickle in it like last time?" I cock a brow at him and he pretends to gag. "No please, not again" he shudders leaving me laughing at him instead. 

"I still can't believe you made me try that" he mumbles and I refute it right away. "You're the one who wanted to try it!". "Well you should've stopped me if you knew I wouldn't like it" he argues back and I giggle at his horrified expression. 

"How was I supposed to know that you wouldn't like it? They're called pregnancy craving for a reason Honey so you should've know better" I tease him and he grumbles something unintelligible under his breath. 

"Just don't eat it today alright? I don't want to have to taste it when I kiss you" he shudders. "Who said I wanted to kiss you?" I say playfully and he looks at me and then looks at my foot that's still propped up and huffs, slumping back into the couch. 

"What?" I laugh, not knowing what that reaction was for. "Just know that if you weren't wearing that cast right now you would've been thrown over my shoulder and dragged upstairs for that smart comment" he pouts and I laugh again, grabbing his arm and wrapping it around me, placing a kiss on his cheek for good mesasure.

"You know you love me" I say and he hums, "I do, and you better love me too or I'm taking back that milkshake" he says reaching for it and I smack his hand before he can get any closer. "I wouldn't be having your child if I wasn't in love with you dummy" I tease and he smiles and places a kiss on my cheek, making an aggressive smooching sound against it. 

"Stop" I whine trying to push him off and his only response is to hug me tighter and pepper me with more kisses. "Alright, alright I give up!" I call out, hoping that'll make him stop and luckily it works. He finishes off by planting one last kiss on my lips and nudging his nose against mine before standing up and walking back over to the kitchen to grab a glass of water and the bottle with my pain meds. 

"Eat up so you can take your medicine, I don't want you to be in pain again" he says switching back to my handsome caretaker and I do as I'm told, eating my fill and taking the medication.

"Thank you Honey" I say, hoping to display my sincerity and he gives me a soft smile. "You're welcome baby" he answers, placing a kiss on the top of my head and the rest of our day goes by in a blur, laughing and teasing each other until the sun goes down. 

Like I said, it's the little things that matter to most and I guess it was just one of those days for us. 

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[jongbross]

Hi, it’s boyfriends things with Exo😅🤍

Thanks

kim minseok:

cutest boyfriend out there

will take such good care of you 🥹

is literally a keeper

your family loves him, he just charms everyone around him

might be a bit difficult as sometimes he can't see why you're still with him

doesn't realize that you're the luckiest person for having HIM

kisses your nose a lot

holds your hand while walking on the street

listen to you vent and gives you the best advices

won't let you sleep in though, so good luck with that

kim junmyeon:

the personification of a gentleman

pulls chairs for you, open doors, makes sure you're with your seatbelt on, doesn't let you walk on the side of the sidewalk that's closer to the street, etc

has the warmest hugs

can literally hug you for hours if you let him

secretly plans to pop out the question in the near future

buys you anything you want. anything.

respects your opinions SO MUCH, it's ridiculous

has the boyfie vibe somehow, so people don't hit on him anymore

chanyeol can see how much he changed because of you, how he's much more bubbly now

"you made him worse!!" (joking)

zhang yixing:

nicest boyfriend out there

dude is just soooo chill, your friends adore him

shows you random stuff on your phone just so you can laugh about it together

hands you his jacket whenever you're cold, but scolds you for not taking one with you

calls you a lot whenever he's away

you'll have to take care of his cats, i'm sorry

does this thing where he kisses both your temples before kissing your lips when he has to say goodbye to you before traveling

passes out beside you on bed while you're talking about a nice recipe you saw on tiktok

doesn't bring up marriage if you don't

really, really hopes you do

byun baekhyun:

i hate him, but congrats to you, i guess

ugh he's just so sweet

takes you out EVERYWHERE, like picks you up at your place

always has a smile on his face when he's around you

asks you about your day and listens to carefully

holds your hand while driving

charms your mom with helping her on the kitchen, it's like a scene straight out of a movie

sings 24/7, so your house is never silent anymore (your neighbors hate you though)

has a whole way of talking that's for you and for you only

you can't trick me baekhyun, i know you must have at least one (1) flaw

kim jongdae:

sunshine boyfriend

let's you sleep in whenever you feel like it

clears some space on his wardrobe/drawers for your clothes and things

"jagi, can we cuddle?"

has so much fun playing with you, you're literally he's best friend

always places bets with you

lots of kisses on your cheek

randomly smiles to you because he knows it makes you happy to see him smile

likes to take you away for the weekend, just you and him

loyal af

park chanyeol:

the "it's okay, i got it" boyfriend

personal uber driver, takes you everywhere if you let him

really, reaaally stubborn

can't sit still, is always looking for something to do with you

"did you see they opened a new bowling place downtown?"

purposely leaves his things at your place

his house is way bigger than yours but he doesn't care

plays guitar while you cook dinner

kisses you everytime you feed him

loves when you sleep on top of him

do kyungsoo:

he's comfort embodied in a person

likes to have breakfast with you, it's like his favorite part of the day

bonds with your pet if you have one (and they love him)

saves new videos on youtube to watch it with you

is in charge of cooking, always

asks you to help him shave just because

gets excited whenever something good happens to you

is your number 01 supporter

loves when you cuddle closer to him in your sleep

shy forehead kisses whenever he can't find the words to express his feelings

kim jongin:

cutest, most caring boyfriend

respects you more than anything in this world

listens to you so carefully whenever you have something to say

is willing to fix some of his bad habits for you

needs constant reassurance that you love him, just because he loves you so much and can't stand the thought of you falling out of love

laughs so hard at your jokes, and they're not even that funny

pays for every meal but lets you pay for his coffee so you won't feel bad

helps you choose your outfits

loves when you play with his hair

wanna have a baby with you so bad

oh sehun:

gets offended whenever someone treats you badly

"why didn't you tell me?? i would've give them a piece of my mind"

smirks whenever he sees you wearing his clothes, he just loves it

calls you whenever he can't go see you

encourages you to go see your friends, especially when he can't be around

but let's be honest, he's attached to you by the hip

rolls his eyes whenever you baby him, but secretly loves it

stares at you dearly when you're talking to his hyungs or his family

lets you play with his fingers when you're bored or too shy to talk to people

dude is so in love it's actually sickening

[heavenequals]

hii! I hope that your requests are open!

how about Syzoth x Gn / female (whatever you're comfortable with) with Syzoth that is in love with reader but doesn't really know how to show it and ends up getting friendzoned all the time (he can't force himself to just straight up tell reader about his feelings). How would he try to get reader's attencion? What would his thoughts about it be? (can be headcanons or drabble or whatever you prefer)

have a nice day!

LOOK MY WAY

reptile/syzoth x reader.

note. this was a super cute request that i've been itching to write. i'd die for this man

you were going to be the death of him. he should know zaterran customs were foreign to humans, but thats the only way he knows how to show you he likes you.

alright, like for syzoth was an understatement. he's in love with you and he's fully aware of that fact. he desperately wants to convey his feelings to you, but he doesn't know how. telling you directly would be easier of course, but thats just so... embarrassing. it's not like he's embarrassing himself enough just by trying to get your attention.

every time you walked by, his tail would sway from side to side. when you got close enough, he would brush his tail against your leg to grab your attention in which most cases, he was successful. you would look back at him before a smile crept up your face, a smile that made his heart thump in his chest as he smiled dumb back at you.

when syzoth isn't busy, he's looking around for you. when he does find you, he's glued to your side with a "hey, how are you?" just to get you to start talking with your eyes on him. your attention on him. he adores the smile painted on your face when you talk about your day, nodding his head with a lovesick grin on his own. you just thought he was very attentive, but it's how zatteran courts, isn't that obvious?

he's always with you. theres rarely been a time where he hasn't been near you other than when you have to part ways, but even during those times he doesn't dare stray too far from you. it's how zatteran court, showing his loyalty and how suitable he would be if he were to be your mate, but of course; you don't realize that. he doesn't expect you to know, but at least take the hint?

"(reader).." syzoth would call, his hands anxiously figetting together.

"yeah?" you'd hum.

"you know i like you a lot, right?" he'd whisper his last statement. his gaze avoiding yours with his tail tucked between his legs.

"of course! you're my closest friend, so i would hope you liked me.." you'd laugh off, not even taking the time to consider his words would hold a deeper meaning.

friend. was that all he was to you?

"oh. yeah, friends."

he might've just broke on the spot, right then and there.

no matter how much he tried, he just couldn't seem to get you to notice him. his feelings, at least. countless times he has tried and you always brushed it off as a friendly gesture. it bothered him, his attempts failing miserably. something else that bothered him is that always after his attempts, your attention seemed to wander off, off of him. he hated that.

it was not until you began getting particularly close with liu kang, it made syzoth feel uneasy. your attention wasn't on him, your eyes weren't on him.

okay, he can admit he may be overreacting, i mean — you train at the shaolin temple, of course you're going to be talking to liu kang, even if it steals your time away from him.. no, he wasn't okay with that.

one day, he decided to approach you, confront you. be 100% apparent with his feelings, no step backs. even so, he just hadn't expected himself to be so forward about it..

his hands at either side of your head, your back against the wall, his eyes fixed on you and your shocked expression. he even surprised himself with this sudden encounter, it just sort of happened. he saw you smile so cheerfully at liu kang, something inside him snapped. like his body acted on his own after liu kang left. elder gods, what was he doing?

"(reader–)" he'd pause. he pursed his lips into a straight line before taking a step back from you, providing the space needed to reduce the tension. "i.. apologize, but i must know.." he'd continue as he hung his head low, his hand awkwardly running over the nape of his neck.

"you just caught me off-guard syzoth, it's no worries. what do you need to ask?"

he averted his gaze from yours, already feeling uneasy just by being in your presence. yet, he would rather stay a fool around you than not be with you at all.

"has.. your heart already been spoken for?" his voice came out in a hushed tone, his eyes glued to the ground. he knew from one look in your eye he'd find out the answer himself and he didn't want to know the answer.

you took a moment to process his question, leaving syzoth becoming more anxious by the second.

"no, not that i'm aware of.. why?" you'd question, tilting your head to the side as an attempt to get him to look at you, being partly successful when he took a short glance at you. god you must think he's so weird right now.

syzoth knew he had to be extremely forward for you and your oblivious pretty mind. he needed to tell you directly that he is in love with you.

he took your hand in his, giving it a firm grip, but not enough to hurt you. he let out a shakey breath before bringing your hands to his chest. giving you the feel of how fast his heart is beating.

"please, let me be the one to have that privilege. your heart," he says. quiet, yet loud enough for you to hear.

you were stunned and that scared him. he expected a response, but was only met with the killing silence. please just say something, anything.

"syzoth.." you gently released your hands from his, instead running your hand over his tattooed arm. "what are you trying to say?" you ask, like he had to elaborate further. how much more must you open his heart?

"i'm saying," he'd take a step closer to you. capturing your hand in his once again and bringing it up to hold his cheek. his body jolting at your warmth, taking out a comforted sigh from him.

"i'm in love with you. i want to be your mate, please" he'd almost beg, kissing the palm of your hand before he continued.

"all my advances, they don't seem to phase you. how much more forward must i be?"

your mouth was agaped. were you seriously this blown away? syzoth really underestimated your obliviousness.

"i wasn't aware you held such strong feelings for me..." you felt your own cheeks began to heat up. your gaze soft and on him, he relished in it, but was it the gaze he wanted? was it love or was it plain sorry?

"have i made you aware now?" syzoth would lean further into your touch that held him, a giggle escaping your lips in reply that made his heart flutter.

"yes, you have. may i make you aware of something else aswell?"

syzoth hummed softly, his eyes fluttering up to meet yours.

"anything."

you smiled, a smile he recognized far too well. he loved it more than anything because that smile was just for him, your eyes filled with fondness. your eyes on him.

you pull him into your arms, embracing him with the warmth he longed for, catching him off guard. not long before he quickly melted into your hold, your next few words would leave him always and forever, yours.

"i love you too."

masterlist | info

[chimindity]

I hate living with you

Summary | stepbro!rafe seems not to be happy with his new stepsister.

Pairing | stepbro!rafe x reader

Warning | Rafe doing drugs, angst but fluff at the end, reader accidentally hurts her hand.

A/N | this is my first fic omg!! there's no proof read but feel free to correct me if there's any mistake.

‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹

Rafe Cameron, your stepbrother, since your mom got married with Ward, you have to live with him as you are now part of his family.

The bad thing about this new lifestyle is that you don't really get along along with Rafe, even though you did nothing to him that could make him hate you.

-"why do I always have to brin' you with me, everywhere I go, uhh?" He huffs closing the front door behind you, not even daring to look at you.

-"I- I just could I have stayed home, I mean—" he cuts you off, finally glancing at you, his facial expression seems to be annoyed at your presence, -"j-just shut up, kay'? Can't let you stay in my house, alone".

You don't respond but nodd at his words, following him behind, the silence is thick only the sounds of your footsteps are being heard.

Few minutes later, you two have finally reach at barry's, walking on the little path Rafe raises his hand to knock on the door and step back as the door opens, a brown-haired man appears, who same to be the same age as Rafe, a man you have never seen before.

-"ayo country club, s'that your lil sis behind?" the man speaks glancing at you, a smirk appears on his face as he catches you trying to hide your smile.

You couldn't see but Rafe rolls his eyes as he walks in Barry's trailer, -"nah dude, step, step sister" he sits down legs spreads, looking at you as you come closer to the couch timidly.

-"here take a seat lovely, what's your name?" Barry speaks as he pats the couch beside Rafe, eyeing every moves you make.

-"I'm Y/n" you say smiling at him, hearing Rafe groaning at your nice behaviour, as Barry nodds smiling back at you, -"a'ight hey cut that shit out, m'here to get some drugs n-not to act all flirty and shit" Rafe finally speaks massaging his temples.

-"cmon country club you need to chill out, here take this, feel like you need good stuff" Barry throw a little package on the table, which contains white powder as he leans back on the couch, where you sit between him and Rafe.

-"nah shit man how much do I owe you for that?" Rafe smirks as he takes the package creating a thin white line on the glass table.

Closing one side of his nose and sniffs, -"you're good s'on the house" barry speaks as he looks at you getting tensed.

Finally Rafe leans back feeling euphoric as he wipes his nose clean from any left residue, -"that's the best yayo ever, i'm tellin' you". He says as you watch his pupils dilating.

-"wanna be a big girl and try it?" Barry smirks putting his hand on your thighs making you gasp, Rafe immediately glance at you sighting barry's hand grabbing your thigh.

-"hm I don't kn-"

Rafe cuts you off, -"the fuck, are you out of y'mind?" Barry smiles looking at you ignoring Rafe "one line won't hurt the princess dude" as soon as Rafe hears the nickname leaves Barry's mouth, he gives him a death stare.

-"kay' kay', country club I take it back" Barry raises his hands up his head as an apology.

They both watch you getting anxious, fidgeting with the hem of your pink sundress Rafe tsks you as he rolls his eyes, thinking how you always want to seek attention from anyone.

You glance down at Barry as he kneels down to look at you "are you always this quiet, lil one?" He smirks tucking some strands of your hair behind your ear, making you blush and smiling at his sentence.

Rafe was looking at the both of you until he stands up still looking at you from the corner of his eyes.

-"a'ight, we need to leave now, Y/n come on" Rafe handshakes Barry meanwhile you wave your hand at him, a smile lights up on your face as he waves back at you.

Barry closes the door behind the two of you.

-"always craving attention uh?" He spits not even glancing at you, as you both walk your way back home, being taken back by what he said, feeling confused.

-"w-what d'you mean?" You ask tilting your head to the side as a sign of confusion, Rafe turns back to look at you, the anger starting to grow in him as you stands in your pink sundress looking full of pureness.

Rafe comes closer to you, feeling vulnerable you step back, he raises his hands wanting to release his anger on you, as he is about to wrap his hand around your neck, there's something holding back in him, making him pulls his hand away from you.

You look up at him with fear, your eyes widen as you watch him sighing, sliding his hand through his hair, looking away from you.

-"shit, I mean, aren't you tired of being a attention seeker?" Rafe finally speaks, not even daring to look at you, you feel upset at his words.

As you both make your way back to the house, he goes in his room, as you make your way to the kitchen, preparing all the stuff to prepare a sandwich.

Always wanting to be nice to your stepbrother even though he could be the meanest person ever.

You cut the bread lengthwise, not paying attention when suddenly, -"ouch!" You squeal, the tip of the sharp knife cuts the palm of your hand, you try to not mind it as you focus on finishing his sandwich, even if dribbles of blood oozes from the wound.

After a lot of struggling, you are finally done with it, you walk upstair careful on not to make too much noise affraid it would annoy him.

Peeking your head around the corner of his bedroom, holding his sandwich firmly in your hands,

-"Rafey? Uh I made you a sandwich incase you're hungry" you say shyly afraid of what his reaction could be.

He stops what he's doing to look at you as you step in his room, Rafe comes closer to you noticing how your body is shaking, not daring to look up at him.

-"uh yeah, thanks that's sweet" he speaks in a lower tone taking the sandwich of your hands, closing the door behind you as soon as you leave his room.

You release the breath you didn't even know you were holding, and go back to the kitchen making yourself a bowl of cereales and lay down on the brown couch, watching a cartoon.

Few giggles left you mouth full of cereales as some footsteps are being heard from downstairs, you stop chewing looking at the door when Rafe shows up.

-"are you bein' serious about what you're watchin' on tv?" He says in a harsh tone rolling his eyes as he notices the bowl of cereales in your laps.

You try to not mind him and keep chewing, still feeling his eyes on you, -"you're really childish, jeez" he speaks to himself as he grabs a can from the fridge, then sitting down on the sofa beside the couch where you are sitting.

While opening his can he looks at you, eyes starting to well up with tears, you say nothing and act like his words doesn't affect you. But it indeed does affect you.

-"what? M'just saying the truth, not my fault you're a cry baby" he smirks, if his plan was to make you feel embarrased it definitely worked.

What he hasn't noticed is the blood on your palm.

Until he stands up looking for the remote, he goes beside you throwing some of your pillows, his eyes lands on your fresh wound, you notice his facial features soften.

-"Y/n? What the fuck did you do?" He huffs looking at you as you try to avoid his gaze.

"s'nothing" you lie hoping it would quickly make him changes the subject, as he's about to touch you, you startle which quickly pulls him away, -" noo.." you mumble, your body tenses up, looking up at him your eyes full of fear.

-"got it, next time you getting hurt don't bother calling me cause I ain't coming to rescue you" he says feeling offended, leaving the living room as he walks back upstair in his room getting ready to sleep.

You slowly stand up from the couch, looking by yourself the first aid kit, walking to the bathroom you climb on the dressing table, to reach the little red box.

After turning the light off you tiptoe making your way to your room, sitting up on your bed, ready to clean the wound.

Biting down on one of your plushie to prevent from whimpers that could leave your mouth as you disinfect your injury, you struggle cleaning it slowly giving up.

You don't even notice Rafe's door opens, until his tall frame appears in your room, his eyes are full of guilt.

-"Y/n?" He talks in a soft tone.

-"mhm?" You raises your head up looking at him, as he sight the first aid kit beside you on your bed.

He walks near you sitting at the edge of your bed, -"here, listen m'sorry kay'? I shouldn't act rude and mean towards you uh yeah" he apologies, expecting you to push him away again, until he sees that little smile on your face.

-"w-why are you smilin' for?" He asks confuse, it only makes you smile even more.

-"nothing, i just love when you act nice with me that's all" you mumble as his heart aches at your pure reaction, feeling even more guilty.

-"yeah yeah give me your hand, lemme do it" he says trying to hide the fact that he's blushing.

He takes gently your hand in his, as he pickes up a pink band-aid, showing it to you. -"want this one?" He smiles watching your face lights up, a look pure of kindness, how could you still be nice toward him? He has only been nothing but mean to you.

-"yeah I know you would" he says, gently placing it on your injury and kissing your hand.

-"Barry called me few minutes ago, and uh I wanted to apologies, for being rude toward you all the time, i just didn't expect you to be like this, you're too pure for having a brother like me" he says looking at you as if you were the most precious thing in his life.

You stand up from your bed, slowly wrapping your arms around his shoulders, pulling him in a hug, -"s'okay Rafey, I forgive you" you smile against his neck.

-"I love you my pretty sister" he hugs you tighter almost suffocating you, trapping in his arms, smelling your soft fragrance.

You pull your face away from the hug, looking up at him giving him a peck on the cheek,-"I love you too Rafey".

He blushes even more and start kissing all over your face, -"m' the luckiest step brother ever" he says between each kisses.

-"Rafeee!" You whine but can't help blushing at finally for the first time feeling safe around him.

-"aww how does it feel to be trapped in your brother's arms mh?" He laughs on the crook of your neck, holding you in his arms.

-"s'feel amazing Rafe" you blush at his words, enjoying every moment of the kindness of your step brother.

[daydream-cement]

The Horror Movie

Captain Phasma x Reader

Phasma protects you from the horror movie

Author's Note: PHAS IS A SECRET SOFTIE BUT DON'T TELL HER I TOLD YOU. this is the third week of spooky season with @alexusonfire! the prompt for the week is horror movies!!!

“This is a ridiculous ritual.” 

The captain sat cross-armed on the couch, her face forming her usual scowl. You dropped down next to her, tv remote control in hand, and flicked between channels to look for the perfect Halloween movie. 

“Most people watch horror movies this time of year.” You explain, shifting your body closer to hers so you could lean your head on her muscular shoulder. “I think you would prefer this over a children’s movie. 

Phasma shifted in her seat, pretending that she didn’t enjoy the feeling of you snuggling into her side. She mumbled as she glared at the tv screen, “I am not most people, and yes, I do not want to watch a children’s movie.”

You snort at her words, knowing she was dead serious. 

Continuing to flip through the various shows and movies, you finally land on the opening credits of a horror movie. You hadn’t watched many horror movies since you were a teenager and even then you found them too scary to watch - but that had been years ago... surely you were over your fear of horror movies now. 

The preamble to the movie was filled with suspense for the death and torture to come. 

This wasn’t exactly what had you terrified. It wasn’t until the first person was killed that you found your heart beating a little faster. 

With every little moment you expected the antagonist to pop out, you felt your hands winding around Phasma’s bicep. You chewed at the inside of your cheek, eyes fastening shut as you anticipated various jump scares. In contrast, Phasma’s facial expression remained mildly disinterested for the majority of the movie. 

Midway through the movie, her hand dropped to your thigh and gave it a squeeze in an attempt to comfort you. She turned her gaze down at you, her nose against your temporal bone as she whispered in your ear, “Is this really too scary for you?”

You knew Phasma well enough that her judgemental tone was just her natural way of speaking. 

Rather than answering, you shook your head ‘no’ as you continued watching. The blonde extended an arm around your shoulders and she turned her attention back to the tv, speaking protectively, “This isn’t real and nothing bad will happen to you.”

As the gore and intensity of the movie increased, so did Phasma’s commentary of how ridiculous the movie was. “Are you kidding me? Being stabbed there does not result in that much blood. The creators clearly have no clue what they were writing about.” 

Her hateful words caused a small smile to tug at the corner of your mouth - only for the smile to fade as another round of suspense built as the murderer worked their way down the hall to try and kill the main character. 

Phasma’s voice spoke up again. This time it was twinged with even more venom, “They aren’t even holding the knife correctly. That is no practical way to stab another human. If anything they are going to hurt themselves by holding it that way.”

Her words brought the smile back to your face. 

“The killer is a fucking moron. Why would you announce yourself if you wanted to kill someone? Just go in the home and kill her.” The captain sank back into the couch cushions, pulling you to lean back against her chest as her arm wound around your front for her forearm to rest protectively over your chest. 

 “I suppose you could do better?”

“Damn right I could, but if it were me, this movie would be ten minutes tops.” Phasma smirked at her own comment, her cheek leaning against your temple. 

The blonde’s commentary continued through the rest of the movie causing you to smirk and giggle through its entirety. Only if you could have seen the clearly pleased grin on Phasma’s face at how she was clearly soothing your fears. 

It seemed as though Phasma knew exactly every twist and turn that was to come. Her thumb brushed back and forth over your collarbone and she knew exactly when to distract you with her own criticisms of the film. Eventually, you turned your face away from the tv, your forehead against her jaw as you listened to her speak - the suspenseful music only secondary to the soothing presence of your girlfriend. 

That night you never even had the opportunity to finish the movie - the lower register of Phasma’s voice ended up lulling you to sleep. 

When the credits rolled, Phasma squeezed your shoulder, shaking you awake, “Time for bed, little trooper.”

“Did she live? Or did the killer get her?” You mumble sleepily. 

“She lived, but there was no way she could have killed them by using one of their traps against them... Absolutely stupid...” The captain slipped an arm under your knees and braced one behind your back, lifting you up as she stood. “I still can’t comprehend why we watched this for your Halloween rituals. I’m assuming it is just as silly as a children’s program.”

“Tomorrow we can watch one about three witches, okay?”

“I don’t think I will enjoy that, but okay.” Phasma shrugged as she carried you to the bedroom and deposited you on the bed. “Is there at least something enjoyable about this one?”

“They try to kill all of the children in the town.”

Phasma nodded, stone faced, “I suppose I could find something enjoyable about that.” 

Taglist: @charymobile, @bri-sonat, @weemswife, @smutuniversesblog, @opheliauniverse, @enchantressb , @renravens @scream-queenlover , @shyladyfan , @mcufanisme , @peanutbutterprincess , @larissaoftarthweems , @principal-weems09 , @imlike-so-gaydude , @emilynissangtr , @xuukoo , @brienneswife , @oculusalien , @giogwensversion , @milciak @gela123 , @thevillagegay , @katiemcgrathsbitch1 , @naomi-m3ndez , @salems-spaghettios , @imgayforwoman69 @bychrissi , @h-doodles , @alexusonfire , @weemssapphic, @hiiamkatana, @lilfartbox1, @mountain-bikingwitch, @willowshadenox, @aemilia19, @agathaandgwenslesbian, @gay-frogs08  

[divinemissem13]

How Long Has This Been Going On?

Star Trek Femslash Week 2024 Ship: Beverly Crusher/ Kathryn Janeway Word Count: 1,016 Rating: T Prompt: And they were roommates...

This is a much longer text than I would usually post here but since AO3 is still having some outages, take a peek under the cut here....

"Bev? Honey?" Kathryn calls out from the bedroom. She is looking in her closet and maybe it's just that she hasn't had coffee yet, but something seems off. "Why do you have more civilian clothes in my closet than I do?"

Beverly appears at her side and hands her a cup of coffee, which Kathryn gulps down gratefully. "Probably because I've spent a lot more time as a civilian than you," Beverly answers simply, as she wraps an arm loosely around Kathryn's waist and presses a kiss to the smaller woman's temple. "We can go shopping today, if you want."

"But what are they doing here?" Kathryn clarifies, now that the caffeine is beginning to do its job.

Beverly pulls back and holds Kathryn at arm's length, looking at her with a bewildered expression that only serves to confuse Kathryn further. "Where else would they be?" she responds.

"Your place?"

"My pl—? Kathryn, it's just easier to keep things here in San Francisco. But if you really want me to, I guess I can transport to the chateau every time I need a change of clothes," Beverly offers with a bit of an edge to her voice that makes Kathryn wonder if they've had this conversation before.

"You don't have a place in San Francisco?" Kathryn asks.

Beverly sucks in a deep breath through clenched teeth and takes Kathryn's empty mug. "I think you need more coffee. Just, get dressed, please? I don't want to waste our entire day off standing in front of the closet."

Kathryn, who hates to be confused and finds herself absolutely unable to let this go, does not get dressed. She follows Beverly out of the room, intending to demand answers until something else catches her eye: the bookshelf in the living room is more crowded than she remembers. On closer inspection, she realizes that there are medical journals and plays mixed in with her poetry and classic literature. Turning slowly, she takes in the room at large. There is a small greenhouse set up in one corner, a stone figure of dancing woman in the middle of the coffee table, a painting hanging on the wall that Kathryn definitely doesn't remember buying.

Kathryn strides into the kitchen in full admiral mode — despite the fact that her hair is still mussed from sleep and she is wearing only a pink silk robe — and demands, "Beverly Crusher, do you live here?"

Beverly wants to be mad, or at least annoyed, but she looks at Kathryn standing there in the doorway — back straight and hands clenched at her hips, one eyebrow quirked upward in a her most imperious expression, a freckled shoulder peeking out where her robe has started to slip — and all she can do is shake her head and chuckle softly.

Beverly walks over to her admiral (who she outranks, by the way, although now is not the time to bring that up), and straightens her robe, her long slender fingers lingering at the collar for a moment before skimming down silk-clad arms to lace their fingers together. "Technically, no," she finally answers Kathryn's question. "But Kathryn, can you remember the last time you spent a night here without me?"

Kathryn's brow furrows as she thinks back, tries to remember being alone in this apartment, in that big bed. Other than a few notable exceptions of overnight missions or out of town conferences, she can't.

"And you don't have your own place in San Francisco?" Kathryn asks, still trying to wrap her head around the idea.

Beverly sighs. "No more than you have your own place in La Barre," she says, pointedly referencing where they spend most of their weekends. "We did discuss this you know. It's not as though I just sneaked all my things in here bit by bit."

If Kathryn thinks hard enough, she might be able to remember…

An evening, not so long ago, after a particularly exhausting day trying to establish a trade relationship with the Kazon, of all people. Beverly had been sitting on the couch reading when she got home and Kathryn had all but collapsed beside her, resting her head in Beverly's lap while she combed her fingers through Kathryn's hair.

If she tries hard enough, she might even remember Beverly's soothing voice cutting through a haze of exhaustion, saying "I'm thinking of getting rid of my apartment here."

The realization must show on her face because Beverly leans down and kisses the tip of Kathryn's nose. "There it is," she says with a grin. "Now go get dressed, would you? We have a lot to do today." She swats Kathryn on the ass for good measure before she turns back to the breakfast she is preparing for them.

Kathryn rolls her eyes and reaches around Beverly for the fresh mug of coffee sitting on the counter. "Yes ma'am," she smirks, turning back towards the bedroom and sipping at her coffee as she goes. The coffee is good and strong and Kathryn thinks how lucky she is to have someone who will make it fresh for her every morning.

She doubles back to Beverly, using one hand to brush her long hair to one side so that she can kiss the taller woman's shoulder and neck. "Hey Bev?" she murmurs, now with both arms wrapped around her partner's waist.

"Hmm?" Beverly responds noncommittally as she tries to focus on the task in front of her rather than her the distraction behind her.

"Wanna move in with me?"

Beverly drops the knife on the counter and turns in Kathryn's arms to face her. "Oh, I see, you only like it when it's your idea, hmm?" Her expression is one of mock frustration but Kathryn can see from the sparkle in her bright blue eyes that Beverly isn't mad at all.

"I have really good ideas," Kathryn says mischievously.

Before Beverly has a chance to respond, Kathryn is kissing her. As she allows the full-body tingle to take over all of her senses, she decides that Kathryn does have some truly excellent ideas after all.

[bubble-popping]

okay this is kinda embarrassing bc i meant to post this a long time ago and just... Didn't.

More dnb gods au bc them <3

Truthfully, Techno didn't know why he stood here, hand hovering above the wood of a door. Even less did he understand why he felt so nervous about going in. The words 'Dream's Study' felt like a permanent 'do not disturb' sign. He knew how much he hated to be interrupted when he worked, especially for trivial matters such as a minor headache. Techno hadn't seen Dream for a while, and it was showing with how Chat nagged and clawed at his brain. He wasn't quite at the stage of attacking his dearest friends and causing major property damage because of their volume and relentlessness, but Dream had asked--pleaded, to be more precise--for him to visit before it got to that point. So, here he stood, trying to think of how to phrase his current predicament without sounding like a total loser. And Chat was not helping.

just knock?

man's forgot how to knock

bro forgor

E

E

average dork in love behavior

no u guys don't get it he's so normal about dream i promise

social anxiety L

L

LOL

L

L

"How do you nerds even know half those phrases? I don't say anythin' like that-" Before he knew it, the sound of squeaks and chirps emitted from behind the door. The Blobs' heightened senses never ceased to amaze him.

"What? Techno's outside? How-OW!"

Techno startled upon hearing the exclamation accompanied by a thud and finally kicked himself into gear, opening the door and peeking inside to see Dream standing up from behind his desk, cradling his horns and uttering more hisses of pain. "Dream? You alright?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine! Jus' bumped my head is all. I'm alright." The blond waved off his concern as he sank into his chair. "Is something up? Chat being loud again?"

The piglin god decided to step further into the room. He'd gone this far, might as well go the full mile. "Well, not at the moment now that you're, ya know, talkin'."

"Aw, they just missed me, huh?" Dream rested his head in his hand, smile smug and eyes scrunched.

YES

DREAM

DREAM POG

simps. every single one of you. me too.

GUYS SHUT UP I CAN'T FOCUS ON HIS PRETTY

pretty dreamie :)

WE AGREED ON DAYDREAM FOR THE NICKNAME IDOIT

**idiot lol

lol

LOL

Lol

LOL

"I didn't say all that. Don't get ahead of yourself, teletubby." As if Techno's absolutely scathing remark wasn't enough of a blow to the man's ego, several Blobs then decided it was their special moment to shine as they dropped down on Techno chirping and cooing not too unlike Phil's crows. He glanced up to see many more piled on a hammock above his head. The majority still soundly slept. Techno could only imagine what it'd look like if they were all awake.

"Hey! What have I told you guys about personal space?" Dream promptly stood from his chair and came over to brush the little Blobs off, a bright gold strong as sunshine glowing on his cheeks. It really didn't match the stern expression he was trying to show. "I'm so sorry about them. We're still working on that..." He didn't meet Techno's eyes as his hands swiped across his shoulders. Not even when he reached further up, lifting on the tips of his toes to pluck away the ones that had settled in his hair.

"They're not so bad. At least they're cute. Chat is just plain annoyin'," Techno grumbled.

WE'RE RIGHT HERE YA KNOW

techno hates us y'all

we're literally fixing your love life?

so ungrateful

Dream giggled softly, shaking his head. Only then did he meet Techno's gaze. "Chat isn't bad either. It's just like the Blobs, they're excitable. I think Chat's cool."

dream gets us y'all

omg he's looking at us guys

HE'S THINKS WE'RE COOL

i hope he wins the custody battle in the divorce

they aren't even married yet

praying on their downfall already is crazy

SHUT UP HE'S STILL TALKIMG

he stopped tho?

**talking

LOL

LOL

L

L

L

Techno pressed a hand to his temple, face twisting in discomfort. "You don't have to hear 'em all the time..."

Dream offered a sympathetic smile before he seemed to get an idea. "Would you like to rest with me while I fulfill some dream requests?"

"I don't wanna bother ya if you're workin'-"

"You wouldn't be a bother, ya big idiot. C'mon, I could use the company." He smiled sweetly, taking Techno by the arm with pretty green eyes begging from under long blond lashes. Naturally, Techno let himself be dragged away--but he still wasn't a simp, Chat, shut up--to a different corner of the office: an area that closely resembled a pillow fort.

Techno really had to duck down to enter it, clearly not built for a god his size. Inside was more spacious than it initially appeared. Made of many different colors and shapes of cushions, all draped with soft blankets, and partially bordered by the lower shelves of a bookcase. Dream easily found a spot to lay down, propped up and facing the curtain canopy. Techno squeezed against the nearest wall out of consideration for Dream's space, but regardless only managed a gap of mere inches. He too looked up, and when he did, he swore that nothing was above them at all. Tiny lights were strategically placed to emulate the night sky. Techno could even see certain constellations in the pattern.

"How did...?"

"Oh, some Blobs got into my glowstone dust by accident and they reminded me of stars, so I got this idea." And Techno believed him because when he squinted he saw, as his eyes adjusted to the change in lighting, many tiny Blobs hanging by thin threads with the proudest grins on their faces.

"Of course..." He huffed, smirking and shaking his head.

A comfortable silence succeeded his words, covering the pair in a particular kind of blanket. The kind that had Techno curiously glancing over to see Dream concentrating on a cloud held aloft by the green strings connected to his fingers.

"What's that one? If ya don't mind me askin'."

"Hm? Oh, well, usually I don't share other people's dreams. They're personal things, meant for your mind alone. But..." Dream got a small, almost mischievous smile on his face. "This one here is for one of my regulars."

"Regulars?"

"Mhm. I think she prays almost every night, always for the same thing. She's an old woman and recently her wife of almost 60 years passed away from an unfortunate accident. Do you know what she asks to dream of?"

Techno couldn't imagine knowing that much about a mortal. But then again, all those that prayed to him usually didn't live very long, so he supposed he just never got the chance to.

"What?"

"She just wants to speak with her again. Nothing else matters, except that she's there. They talk about so many things. Sometimes, they don't speak at all. Just sit there next to each other, enjoying the company. I've put them in all sorts of places. Relaxing on a beach, watching a fireworks display from afar, sitting on their rocking chairs in their living room..." He'd finished crafting the dream by then, offering it to one of the Blobs who devoured the cloud whole and promptly wiggled into the crevice of two pillows. Afterwards, he folded his hands atop his stomach and closed his eyes, smiling wistfully. "Such a sweet, pure love... I only hope someone will love me like that."

A heat unlike any other instantly filled Techno's cheeks.

ASDFGHJKL HE'S LITERALLY ASKING FOR IT

LET'S GOOO

KISS HIM YOU IDIOT

how did that guy make that sound

KISS

KISS

KISS

L matchmakers fr

wdym we're such W matchmakers

yeah he boutta get that sheep pus-

Techno quickly sat up from the comfortable pile onto his elbow, resolutely pushing that thought out of his head.

"Techno?" Dream looked to him, gaze wide and inquisitive. The piglin god turned to stare down at him, and though he knew he had to say something that might finally shut Chat up about this, the words got caught in his throat. Green eyes were simply too pretty, surrounded by freckles and waves of golden blond. A hand surprised him out of his admiring. Gentle fingers pushed the hair that had fallen into Techno's face behind his pointed ear then came to a rest at his cheek. "Something wrong?"

"No," he answered with a shake of his head, placing his hand upon Dream's and leaning into the touch. It still didn't make a lot of sense to him, why Dream was so tender towards him despite his reputation and prowess... Or, perhaps, because of it? Techno cherished it all the same. "Nothin's wrong. 'm just... 'm not sure how to, how to word-"

"Tech," the sheep god murmured, now cupping both of Techno's cheeks and wearing a bittersweet smile, "you don't have to force yourself. I was just thinking out loud. I wasn't trying to-"

"It's not that, I mean, well, it is, but-" He sighed, closing his eyes to collect himself before opening them with a renewed determination. "I get what you're sayin' and I feel the same way."

"You do?"

"Ya think I'd come just to make Chat shut up? That's just a sweet bonus, dude."

Dream giggled, a similar blush rising on his face. "So, what does that mean?"

"It means I... would really like to kiss ya, if you'll let me."

The blush immediately brightened to a shimmering gold. He pushed himself to a sit as well, closing the gap between them to barely a few inches. "I think I'd like that."

They both leaned in, heads tilting to accommodate the other, but when Techno connected with something, he knew it was not Dream's lips. A Blob had managed to slip in at the last second, squeaking happily. The two pulled back in equal astonishment, allowing the Blob to drop on Dream's lap.

Dream's expression rapidly soured. "You little-!" He snatched the Blob up, gripping its little body in a tight grasp. "That's it. You're all going in timeout now." With a snap of his fingers, all the Blobs including the ones that hung from the ceiling exploded into puffs of clouds, leaving the two in near total darkness aside from Dream's glowing eyes. "Much better. Now..." Hands suddenly grabbed Techno by the shoulders and twisted them so he was flat on his back and Dream was straddling his waist. His voice lowered to a whisper as he leaned in once again, bright green illuminating both their faces. "Where were we?"

[starlightandfairies]

Lovely ~Daryl Dixon~

Description: Reader is one of Negan’s wives, she is thrown into the same cell as Daryl while Negan has Daryl.

Warnings: Swearing, she/her pronouns, fluff, angst,

Key: Y/N = Your Name, POV = Point of view

Word Count: 639

I have a Daryl Dixon fanfic on wattpad! If you want it, send me a request or message and I'll give it to you. Or you could search it yourself It's called Broken Crown by Moonlight161 and starts from the very beginning

1st Person's POV

Fucking Negan. 

That's all I can say, is fucking Negan, I fucking hate him. He, himself killed my entire family and made me watch. Sounds very movie-like, though I cannot express in words how much I want this man to die. After he killed them, the twit had the audacity to make me one of his wives. I wore a short little black dress, did everything he said and did just so I could survive. 

I pissed him off. I yelled at him for what he did, but Negan didn't seem to take it very well. He threw me into one of his cells and then left me in the darkness. 

"I'm going to kill him," I muttered bitterly, jumping as a hand grabbed my arm and pulled me to the side. 

"Keep 'ya voice down." 

I turned to face the person, only a small amount of light letting me see the man's features, my heart shattered seeing the broken man in front of me. I didn't think that I would see him again, I didn't think I would see anyone that I knew again. 

"Daryl?" I whispered lightly, he lunged forward slightly and cupped my face in his hands. 

"Y/n?" 

"Hey," I whispered softly, sobbing softly as he held me in his arms. Daryl didn't let me go, he didn't once let go of me and rested a small kiss on my temples. 

"I thought you died." He whispered, I shook my head and gave him a tiny smile. We hadn't seen each other since the prison, which honestly feels like a lifetime ago after the prison was infested with walkers and everyone got separated, I was lucky that I got with my family however the whole Negan ordeal ruined everything.

We both shared the story of our lives since we last saw each other, it ached to know that Glenn was dead and I could clearly see that Daryl was taking it personally, that his actions got him killed and I really wanted him to know that it was not his fault.

Negan kept me in there for two days, no one bothered either of us, it was a nice way to catch up and just hang out with him. It was cold in the cell, the little black dress was revealing too much of my skin. I moved over to Daryl, carefully touching his arm and once he accepted my touch. I his arm, wrapping it around me and curled into his chest. 

"So, Negan's forced you to be his wife?" 

"Yes. Out of all the other ladies, he keeps me under lock and key the most. I think he knows what I can do." Daryl shook his head, he didn't say anything about what I said. However, he rested a kiss on my forehead and rubbed my arm. 

"He's planning something," Daryl whispered. 

"I know but I have you back and I want to be here with you." 

"Okay." I knew this hurt for Daryl, we both loved each other, hadn't seen each other in so long and now we were here together yet we couldn't be together. I think that's Negan punishment. I think he knew that we loved each other and that be being his wife would hurt Daryl. 

"Isn't it lovely? Having someone familiar?" I questioned, Daryl brought my lips to his, I grinned into the kiss and soaked it all in. 

"I miss you, I looked for you but I couldn't find you. I will stay, I won't let him hurt you and I won't let him take me away from you." 

"You will, don't be stupid." 

"I'm going to be stupid and in love."

[will-you-pick-me]

Oh my god a fanwork??? The very first one of this blog??? Of course it goes to the amazing Lily / @restartheartvn uwu Anyways I maybe possibly finally got caught up on the Kenneth lore and realized he's a shit ton like an ACTUAL ex of mine, so here's me doing a lil' thing in honor of our diety of real-life representation Lily <3

Warnings/Content: My Sugar does have a backbone of some sort, Kenneth being Kenneth, ie. subjects of cheating lying and manipulation, threats of physical violence (from Sugar, not Kenneth), detailed description of post-stressor anxiety/panic attack, VERY BRIEF moment that could mayyybe be seen as s.h. ideation if you squint, very very vague allusion to weight criticism having been received in the past. Talk-down/cool-down zone from the contents is underneath the line of "~~~~", for anyone who may need it <3

"Dove, c'mon, you're exaggerating-"

"Exaggerating? Exaggerating?? Please, oh wise one, enlighten me as to what part of you cheated on me is an exaggeration?"

The man-child you'd almost called your husband all but rolled his eyes at you, huffing like an impatient toddler.

"You always do this now. Why can't I have my sweet little fiancé back? It's really hurtful, the way you've changed."

That startles a disbelieving laugh out of you, and you can't help but look at him like either he's insane, or you're about to be. Both are equally likely to be true, at this point.

"Hurtful? I'm the one being hurtful? You fucked my sister, Kenneth. And God above knows how many more you might have fucked. I'd call you a dick, but you're too fake for that, so dildo it is. At least the town is getting some good use out of you."

His expression is hard to read, as you spit out your pain at him in envenomed words. You're not sure if that was the best or worst insult you've ever given in your life, but at least it was heartfelt. Your whole body felt like it was vibrating with the energy of a live wire, jaw and temple sore from clenched teeth and repressed tears.

As much as you wanted to cry, you'd hate to give this asshat the satisfaction.

Apparently not repressed enough, though. Your stomach twisted sickly as you watched his expression soften, a hand reaching up to try and cup your cheek.

"Aw, c'mon Dove, don't be like that... You know I'd never do that to you, right? C'mere, let me wipe your tears..."

You hissed, drawing back and slapping away his hand. Like hell you were going to let him indulge in his fascination with your tears, and now of all moments. He had barely enough good sense to look vaguely shocked, at least. You took the chance while you had it, narrowing your eyes as dangerously as you knew how and letting all your anger growl out in your voice.

"Don't. Fucking. Touch me. You don't deserve to touch me with those filthy hands. You chose to be beneath me when you went and cheated."

At that, something finally seemed to snap behind his eyes, and his lip curled in a sneer, a humorless laugh escaping his lungs like the last bird flying from a wildfire.

"You think you're above me, you dumb bitch? You're too stupid to understand anything, it seems. You will never find someone else like me-"

"That's the fucking point. I don't want to find someone else like you ever again. You are a sad, miserable, useless, ego-inflated, self-absorbed, narcissistic, fucking ASSHOLE, and I want nothing to ever do with you again. Your family can go burn, their 'friendship' with my family can fucking burn, hell even my family can go burn for all I fucking care since they had part in this arrangement too. But I promise you one fucking thing, Kenneth, if you EVER try to touch me again, I'll fucking rip off the arm you tried it with and shove it down your throat."

You weren't one for violence, usually. You hated being violent. It was terrifying to become that kind of person. But right now, in this moment, you meant what you were saying to your asshat ex, and by the look on his face, you guessed he could tell you meant it, too.

You didn't dare break eye contact with him as you watched him slowly backpedal out of your apartment. Not when you felt so close to crumbling to the floor from your frayed nerves.

It felt like forever, before you heard the door click shut.

It also felt like forever, with a side of clouded and dazey, as you made the way to the door to lock it.

But as soon as you heard that lock click, you couldn't hold back the floodgates anymore - you crumpled, kneeling right there in front of the door, body shaking like an aspen leaf in the wind as you struggled to breathe, your breaths coming short and panicked, and your vision blurred and burned with tears that finally could be released.

You dug your fingers into the carpet, the only thing on hand to tether yourself to reality, and let your tears fall into the shag as it itched at your fingertips and cuticles with rough threads. A fleeting thought crossed your mind that maybe if it scratched at you enough, it would rub away all the skin that ever touched him - but it was gone and forgotten just as quickly in the haze of emotions.

You don't know how long you were down there. After a certain point, it just felt like one big blur of adrenaline and hurt, and you eventually found yourself choking and coughing just as much as you were sobbing.

The raw sensation in your throat, weirdly enough, was what finally started to pull you back from the edge and ground you back to reality, slowly cluing you in to other sensations - the stiffness of your fingers from your death-grip on the carpet, the burn of the carpet texture engraining it's pattern into the skin of your knees, the ache that pressed in a ring all the way around your head from crying so hard and so much.

You let out a slow, if shaky, breath. Then a small sniff, and wipe your eyes after slowly prying your fingers out of the carpet.

... You need a glass of water, before you can even begin to look ok again.

So you're going to go get yourself a damn glass of water. And it will have the sugary flavoring you like added, because nobody's here anymore to tell you it's unhealthy.

You're going to start taking back your freedom, one little treat at a time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oof, hi! That was... a lil real of me, lmao. So here's a reminder that, if you're feeling a little shaky or dissociated after all that, please go get a glass of water as cold as you can stand it - that should help ground you, and also, hydrating is good!

Also remember that none of the above is real, it is simply fiction that is informed by a reality I've personally lived, and you don't need to be afraid - you're safe, and loved, and we care for you and your safety a lot <3 Please take all the time you need to recover, snuggle up in bed/on the couch with your favorite blanket and media, and treat yourself kindly :3

Here's some nice flowers to look at while you're here: 🌸 🌼 🌻 ✿ ❀ ✾ 💐 🌷

[thegeminisage]

okay. massages temples. it's time for. a star trek update. last night we did voy's "the omega directive" and (grits teeth) ds9's "his way."

the omega directive (voy):

right out of the gate, it's really difficult how many times they said the word "omega" in this episode. i tried very hard to take it seriously but only succeeded for about 60-70% of the time

we had our first real seven/chakotay scene in this episode, outside of him being the one to help sever her from the collective. i still don't totally see janeway/chakotay/seven in my mind palace but i'm working on it.

loved also the chakotay and janeway conversation but "closest friend" lol like we are literally being hetbaited. tuvok is her closest friend. b'elanna is probably chakotay's closest friend. janeway and chakotay are not close friends, they are lovers. not that being lovers means you can't also be friends! but that's not how they made him say it.

i thought this was a really good episode like...touching on seven's idea of religion/spirituality (even if we had to work in some racism re: chakotay's spirituality) without being too heavy-handed or dumb

janeway and seven clashing once again...mwah. ✌👅 or whatever. i admit sometimes this feels a little repetitive, but because both actresses deliver such good performances, i can't be too disappointed.

i am grinding my teeth a little at the logistic details of this episode. while the character stuff was very good and a WELCOME relief after a string of truly horrendous episodes, the plot was like swiss cheese. destroying this particle supersedes the prime directive? what happened to it being, you know, prime? in fact, BECAUSE they destroyed it, an entire civilization will die...not because of the prime directive but because we chose to ignore it. which you can't do! it's the prime directive! how imperialist for the utopic fedderation to impose their laws on civilzations that haven't even reached warp yet! janeway is trying to protect the safety of this quadrant? it's not even her quadrant! what gives her the right! is she just that afraid of losing warp capability and hiding behind federation regulations? let's dig into that! except they dug into none of that. a glaring flaw on an otherwise really good episode.

his way (ds9):

i don't want to talk about it........BUT I'M GONNA

(i actually ran into the character limit for paragraphs talking about it, so i have abandoned the normal bullet list format lol)

man, okay, like...how do i even begin to express my disappointment. not just in a ds9 let me down way but in like your favorite teacher being disapointed in you kind of way. the old janeway lecture in the ready room kind of disappointment. just a bone-deep, didn't-know-anyone-was-capable-of-fucking-up-this-bad, disappointment.

ik i said this already but no WONDER people hate kira/odo as a ship, down to even the actors. i've had some problems with how it's been portrayed lately (6.03 and 6.04 what were we DOING), but i've been willing to ignore them because i'm used to giving ds9 the benefit of the doubt and because i like the ship so much. after reading the summary i knew this episode would be bad and possibly also have kira/odo content and was prepared to try and enjoy whatever i could and write off the rest. but this was just unforgivable start to finish. i couldn't find even a single moment i liked.

let's start with the obvious, most egregious offense: kira does NOT want to be hologrammed. we had an ENTIRE EPISODE about it in which ODO HIMSELF helps her yell at quark about it. making her up as a hologram for odo to practice his kira wooing skills on was a huge violation of her rights, wishes, autonomy, etc. she should have been furious. this episode definitely commits a lot of sins, but i think this is the one that is most blatantly disrespectful, and also ties in to the biggest issue i had (more on that in a second).

the holodeck character was fine, or could have been fine. as far as holodeck episodes go, if any show could make me like them, it'd have been ds9. and the guy himself was FINE, and likable even, until he started breaking the rules of what was possible (contacting odo through the communications system when his hologram should have been deactivated, for example), and what was ethical (setting odo and kira up under false pretenses). now suddenly he is annoying and i hate him (and i feel bad saying this, because i know fandom likes him and his actor recently passed away - this episode was not his fault!!). illogical and unethical holodeck fuckery is the LAST thing i expect from ds9, which always sets out to critique some of the things from other star trek shows that make no sense or ignore potential ramifications of hand wavey world-building, which, again, HAD AN EPISODE ABOUT IT BEING UNETHICAL TO HOLODECK KIRA.

i think also it's really weird and unfair to suggest, through quark, that odo "waited too long" to make a move on kira when they SPECIFICALLY had an entire conversation (that i loved!) about how odo had been thinking about asking her to dinner and then decided not to because of the impending threat of cardassian takeover. they MUTUALLY AGREED ON and were MUTUALLY RELIEVED BY the idea of putting the revelation of odo's feelings to the side to focus on business, and that conversation actually allowed a really unique and lovely dynamic to form in a very organic way - odo loves her, and she knows he loves her, but the burden of having to give him a response to those feelings is totally removed. he's not asking for a response. he isn't asking for anything. she isn't obligated to give him anything. and on the flip side, he is relieved from the burden of having to hide that love. it is simply allowed to exist peacefully between them. this ALSO ties into the biggest issue i had with this writing, which is...

where were kira and odo? cuz they weren't in this episode. we seemed to forget their histories, their desires, their dynamic, and even their god damn personalities in order to replace them with some vaguely uncharming couple from a low-budget hallmark romcom?? hello???

like, think of the popular trek romances, or the couples that fans think of romantically. spock and kirk (and bones if you like) are people defined by loneliness who understand each other on a deep level they can't get elsewhere and soothe that loneliness with each other. both spock and bones and janeway and seven challenge each other's ideas of humanity and how the world works. chakotay finds peace in serving janeway's needs after the turmoil of a hopeless war and she finds a safe place to let go of her captain job with him. dax's flippant personality encourages worf to relax and his strict personality gives her someone to both tease and rely on. sisko and kassidy get to nerd out about baseball together, yet both understand their duty/morals come before their feelings. julian and garak both understands what it is to need forgiveness, and julian's compassion plays well off of the cold-hearted nature of a former obsidian order operative. even in fucking TNG, you had will and deanna who both love trying new things and are down to clown and want to go on adventures together. kira and odo have a dynamic, too, but it was not present in this episode - this, the episode where after FOUR SEASONS OF BAIT they finally make it official??

like, odo is stiff and unyielding, yes - but that means he doesn't find it in himself to loosen up by playing a fake piano for fake people. even DATA, in fucking tng, recognized that when he told bad jokes to a fake crowd and they laughed anyway because they were programmed to do that, that the entire exercise was without meaning. and data is WAY more autistic than odo, all my love to both. odo is not some nice guy incel type who wants to have kira simply for the sake of having her - he didn't fuck anybody in his entire life until like season 5 and that episode was ALSO really fucking bad. odo doesn't need to loosen up in order to pursue kira - IT IS KIRA WHO MAKES HIM LESS UNYIELDING. that is the entire point of them! when they first met, they were both seen as beings without personhood, whose lives had no value. she appealed to his humanity and asked him to see hers so she wouldn't be left to the mercies of the cardassians. it worked because she appealed to the HUMAN inisde him (for lack of a better word) which no one had ever done before. in heart of stone, he even says to the fake kira that she changed the way he felt about his OWN NAME, which was given to him because it was the cardassian word for NOTHING. HE WAS NOTHING. SHE SAW HIM AS MORE THAN THAT. this is, CANONICALLY, the basis of this relationship. this episode was so good BECAUSE he discovered such a pivotal moment was based on a lie. it was IMPORTANT.

and kira in this episode had almost no voice at all. she was someone to be sought after, chased, and then ultimately had after her "perfect moment of clarity" - which then lost meaning because she had two in a row - and which we never got to HEAR about. how does she FEEL? this is the episode where they get to together! but she never gets to tell us. it's an egregious offense considering her voice is usually a loud one, like her emotions - so loud, in fact, that odo is usually kira's rock, her calming presence. from the very first season, she has gone to him in times of emotional turmoil, because he so rarely lets that kind of turmoil rock his boat. he keeps a level demeanor, and he is able to sort through a lot of her anger and fears with a level head. when she is considering betraying an old friend in the THIRD!!! EPISODE!!! odo is the one she turns to. odo always has her coffee and reports ready on time. he will inform her if anyone she knows comes to the station or goes missing or whatever. he respects her wishes even when he doesn't agree with them. the fake kira, a perfect replica by most estimations, even agreed that they were not the type to bullshit each other. odo is safety and predictability in the stormy environment of a post-war bajor. WHAT WAS HER MOMENT OF CLARITY? probably not that, but we'll never know because SHE DIDN'T EVEN GET TO TELL US. she existed only to be pursued. the episode is even called "his way" - yes, a play on "my way" by frank sinatra, but still - it's like odo finally got HIS WAY and was able to have kira like he'd always wanted. "i've waited so long to hold you like this" is there really NOTHING else he wanted from that relationship? one might even argue odo wouldn't know what to do with that kind of love, how to express it in ways like physical affection - that could be part of why he was able to love her silently for so long. we saw hints of this in the season 5 episode, with future odo - there was a distinct lack of that odo telling her what she meant to him and why, which is nuts, considering our own odo was able to do that for lwaxana troi at their FAKE WEDDING when he only loved her platonically - but at least that episode had personality and merit. this had none.

and for all the trappings - the candlelit dinners, the music, the fancy dresses - this episode was DEVOID of true romance. the only moment where they had any chemistry at all was the kiss, and it was entirely out of character. a bicker-bicker-kiss scenario is GREAT and it's one of my favorites, but it doesn't fit THESE CHARACTERS. the kiss they shared in season 5, with future odo, had more personality than the one from this episode. in that, you could feel his longing, the release of his pain, and her uncertainty, along with her compassion in wanting to give that to him. in this, they got mad, and it happened so fast...but they aren't a bickership. i love kiraodo, and i love bickerships, the two things are just NOT the same. kira and odo argue only very rarely and when they do it's about very serious shit, like, kira's fucking worldview in "you take down the cardassians with me or i will fight you too" kinda shit. "our first meeting was based on a lie" kind of shit. they COULD have had a knockdown dragout fight about odo's use of a holo-kira (which wasn't even his idea, to be fair, but given his normal respect of her autonomy was EXTREMELY out of character for him to agree to use), but she wasn't allowed to have opinions or a personality in this episode, so they instead argued over absolutely nothing to shoehorn in a romcom scene that did an injustice to both the characters and their relationship.

furthermore: ableism. walk with me here. again, odo and kira MUTUALLY AGREED to put the question of a romantic relationship on hold for the time being. if both or one of them were ready to pursue that question again, both of them are capable of bringing that up like the adults that they are because part of this dynamic that they have is that they don't BULLSHIT each other. that's why the Big Lie was such a big deal! that's why kira feels so safe unloading on odo! that's part of why odo admires her! the idea that kira has gone to bajor to hook up with shakaar either because she was genuinely tired of waiting for odo to make a move (WHEN THEY HAD AN ENTIRE CONVERSATION ABOUT WHY HE WAS NOT YET AKING A MOVE AND SHE WAS RELIEVED WITH HIS DECISION) or because she was trying to HINT that it was time for him to make a move is ridiculous. kira nerys does not HINT at people. if she wanted something from odo, she knows good and damn well all she has to do is ask. in fact, unwilling though it was, he has already laid his feelings on the table - the ball is technically in HER court. (even in the 90s, this idea that the guy always has to do the pursuing is old and tired and sexist.)

but i am getting off topic. how does this come back around to ableism? it's the idea that, in the defiance of this canon, odo does not have to simply bring up to kira how he feels, or what he wants to do, but that he has to "loosen up." the idea that he's too weird, too socially inept, and that his natural personality and preferences and way of doing things and his past experiences are obstacles to be erased and overcome rather than THE UNIQUE REASONS KIRA LIKES HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE is insulting at best and yeah at its worst ableist. what did he even do at the dinner with kira that was so different from what he normally does? he stammered a lot and paid her a couple of compliments. he reminded her that he likes her. it was technically a date - one he didn't even ask her out on. are we saying odo, in-character, could not have done a better job than that without tired, outdated, "get the girl" lessons from (sorry, doc) a fucking hologram? even BARCLAY got better treatment than this. in tng! tng, which isn't even good! barclay, who is not even a good character! the things that ACTUALLY made him weird and undatable were things people venerated as "representation" while odo's less palatable personality traits need to be trained away during a self-playing piano musical number in order to make him fit to date kira. like it's un FUCKING believable.

finally, and this is a petty little nickpick, but i think i'm entitled at this point: the kiss being in public. kira and odo are both STUPIDLY private people. they are both REALLY uncertain about how their relationship will change by adding romance. they don't like people poking their noses into their business. kira only told ONE person about odo's feelings for her and only one person knew about odo's feelings for kira (if you don't count mommy changeling, which i don't). at one point it was one of odo's most closely guarded secrets, to the point of him hiding it from garak UNDER TORTURE and giving him the other big truth instead (that he wanted to go home) because of how vulnerable it makes him. and you want me to believe these two people just lost their heads in front of everyone on the promenade? you could have sold it to me if the rest of the episode was good and i might have loved it, but this episode was GARBAGE.

i have no idea what will happen with odo and kira from here out...i really hope it will be good, because i absolutely love the ship, but more and more i worry that they're just reducing them to "nice guy who finally got the girl" and "girl" and if that is the case i want no part of it. i find it MINDBLOWING that ds9 - ds9! - could screw up this monumentally, but it has, and now i just have to. deal with that, aaaaaugh.

anyway. TONIGHT: voy's "unforgettable" and ds9's "the reckoning." sheesh.

[theostrophywife]

Mattheo and comfort? like comforting Mattheo?🥺

comfort | mattheo riddle ♡

due to his childhood, mattheo has trouble expressing his feelings.

when he's upset, he has a tendency to fold into himself. it's a defense mechanism to keep himself protected, to guard his heart above all else.

at first, it was hard to deal with matty withdrawing into himself. you often wondered if you said or did something wrong because one second he'd be laughing and joking and the next he'd be completely silent.

but as time went along, you started to pick up on his behavior. you learned how to read mattheo riddle like a book.

when he starts getting dazed and distracted, fiddling with his fingers, tapping his foot or just straight up spacing out, you know that something's bothering him.

one thing about mattheo is that he hates being singled out. he doesn't like it when he's put on the spot. asking him "what's wrong?" was a one way ticket to him shutting down.

so instead you found little ways to let him know you were there.

mattheo's love language is physical touch, so any time you felt him drifting, you'd lean into him, rest your head on his shoulder, intertwine your fingers and kiss his knuckles to convey that you're here and it's safe and when he's ready to talk about it, you'd be more than willing to listen.

if he's having a really bad day, you'd know just by one look. he wouldn't have to say anything before you're enveloping him into a hug, smothering him with as much love and affection as you could.

he would especially love laying on your lap, not saying anything as you brushed through his curls, savoring the silence and comfort your presence provided.

sometimes you'd come into his dorm to find him laying on the rug, earphones tuned in to his favorite smiths album. you'd simply lay down beside him, claim the right earphone, and squeeze his hand because you're there for him, you don't need words, you were more than willing to to just give him space to simply be and he'd love you for it.

when the nightmares come and he wakes up sweating and panting, he'd immediately seek you out. mattheo would want to make sure that you're safe because most of his nightmares are of you falling into danger. it doesn't matter if it's in the middle of the night, you'd simply just wrap your arms around him and hold him as tightly as possible.

"it's alright, matty. it's okay. i'm here. i'm safe. and i love you. nothing can hurt me when you're by my side."

brushing the tear from his cheek, you'd kiss his temple and rock him in your arms. mattheo would listen to your heartbeat, willing it to anchor him back to reality.

it's the sound of comfort. it's the sound of safety. it's the sound of the girl he loves healing every broken part of him and making him feel whole again.

[satanicmacchiato]

i really wish people would perhaps not insult the intelligence of the average buddhist to suggest we are so ignorant of history and so tasteless that we would think it's appropriate to deface property that isn't ours with spray painted swastikas, or that we think so lowly of our sacred symbols we draw them in the built up filth on an unwashed car for fun. it's perfectly fine to assume that people who do this intend it as a way to be provocative, and not actually promote our religion.

the diagram you pulled up on google images of what's a "nazi swastika" vs. what's a "spiritual" swastika isn't necessary because you should already know that a person who uses it for vandalism or draws it in dirt does not have the same relationship to that symbol as we do. where we pretty much exclusively display it in temples and on statues. not to mention, the symbol does not even figure significantly in certain buddhist denominations.

buddhism is a religion. we have rules about how we should carry ourselves. we have instructions on what to do and what not to do to people and things in the world. why do you think that after millennia of lacking a missionary impulse and being persecuted to the point of having entire strains of practice go extinct, we think the best way to Promote The Good Word To the Masses is to spray paint a swastika onto somebody's garage. can we be real here.

genuinely asking here, what purpose does it serve to try and split hairs over whether or not a nazi drew a swastika the "right" way? we know sometimes they just can't do it. just look.

even if you don't even know all the intricacies of every buddhist tradition, even if you had absolutely no idea some of us are taught to reserve special places to store sacred texts and objects to keep them away from mundane things, please use some common sense and ask yourselves why we would be so ignorant of its historical use of defacing property? you realise that in some countries outside the west, "world war II" is actually called, "the global war against fascism"? we know what nazis were. it just opens up a whole new question of how racist YOU have to be to believe that the rest of us are so sheltered and innocent that we would think it would be in good taste to spray paint a swastika as a form of religious expression.

back to the point of whether or not a swastika is oriented in the "correct" way. here is a photo i have taken of a temple i belong to. the symbol on buddha and the one on the halo each face either direction. it's almost as if the real thing you all should be looking at is context and not just the specific way the thing is drawn.

i beg of all of you, if you really had any respect for our particular relationship with this symbol and our religious beliefs you will STOP dragging us through the mud in cases where hateful and ignorant people deface property with it. YOU KNOW VERY WELL THAT THE POINT OF USING IT IN VANDALISM IS TO INTIMIDATE AND/OR SIGNAL TO OTHER HATEFUL PEOPLE.

[shiftingparadise]

I loveddd your phinks fwb piece you wrote!!! Could you do a part two please? 💗

I love this man with my entire heart 🥹, so thank you for requesting a part 2, really enjoyed writing this one (I hope you like it too!).

Warnings: A little bit smutty, not too much 🤓 often suggestive though

Hope everyone's doing fine, enjoy reading 🤍✨

Word count: 3169

‘Thanks’, you avoided his eyes when he handed you your latte. ‘Want to go over the plan again?’. ‘No, I understand’, you closed your eyes when you took a sip. 

You might not have been able to look at the blonde, but Phinks couldn’t keep his eyes away from you. The way your tiny hands were holding the cup, as if you were trying to warm them around a fire… Or the way you smiled contently when you took your first sip, your eyes closed in pleasure… How did he never notice how beautiful you are? 

‘Fine, but don't blame me when things go to hell’. ‘You don’t trust me?’, you opened one eye, the lid of the cup still stroking your bottom lip. ‘Did you ever finish a mission successfully?’. ‘Hey!’, you immediately stood up from the edge of the bed you were sitting on. ‘What? You never listen to what boss says’. 

Were things just going to go back to normal? Back to hating each other? 

‘I just need to get those fucking diamonds, right? What’s the big deal?’. ‘The big deal?’, Phinks gritted his teeth together, ‘I will need to clean up the mess you’ve made if you fail, because it’s not like you ever take responsibility for your actions’. ‘What do you know about me, huh?’, you pushed him, earning a throbbing vein on his temple in response.

What did he know about you? You practically told him your entire life story in your drunken haze yesterday.

‘Push me again and-‘, ‘And what?’, you chuckled, ‘What are you going to do, Phinks? Fight me?’. 

Fight you? No, he didn’t want to fight you. He wanted to throw you on the bed again and show you who’s in charge, but he couldn’t do that, could he? 

‘Tsk’, he smirked when he noticed the look in your eyes. There wasn’t any hate in them, nor anger. You were provoking him. The way the corners of your mouth were slightly lifted said plenty. 

For a moment, the two of you just stood there, staring at each other with racing hearts.

‘H-huh?’. 

You froze when you could feel Phinks’ hand cup your cheek. His eyes were soft, but the expression on his face was as cold as ever. 

‘What are you doing?’, you lowered your eyes, jaw clenching. ‘What?’, Phinks frowned, unsure if he crossed a line. ‘Y-your hand-‘, ‘What about it?’. 

‘Don’t’, you pulled away from his touch, ‘D-don’t touch me like that’. 

His heart dropped to his stomach when he noticed the cold look in your eyes. He couldn’t be the only one who felt it, right? The fireworks the first time he kissed you, or the warm, tingling feeling that flowed through his veins when he saw your love-drunk eyes staring into his only hours ago. 

‘You weren’t complaining-‘, ‘Stop’, you looked at him, eyes burning with anger, ‘We had an agreement’. ‘Y/N-‘, Phinks tried to grab your wrist, but you quickly pulled away. ‘What? What do you want?’. ‘I just want to talk about what happened’. 

You were like math to him, impossible to understand. 

‘Why?’, you chuckled, ‘I hate what happened. I hate the fact I let you touch me’. 

Why? Why were you doing this when you were so desperate for his affection? 

‘H-hey!’, you tried to protest, to pull away when his strong hand grabbed your jaw, but once his lips met yours you instantly melted into his touch. 

‘Hate liars’, a cold sigh, ‘But don’t worry, it’s not like you’re that special, princess’. ‘D-don’t ever touch me like that again’, your aura filled with anger, hands shaking. ‘Like I said, you’re not that special’, he chuckled before walking out the door again. 

Once you heard the door closing, you immediately let down your guard. With a loud sigh, you jumped on the bed, head pushed into a pillow. Why were your cheeks burning? Why did you feel all warm and fuzzy around him? You wanted nothing more than to throw your hands around his neck, jump into his arms, and smell the familiar scent of his perfume again.

‘Wake up, princess’. ‘S-shut up’, you turned around, pulling the sheets over your head. ‘Get ready, it’s almost time’.

 ‘Where did you go?’. 

‘None of your business’. ‘Asshole’, you gritted through your teeth. ‘Get up’, he roughly pulled the blankets away from you. 

‘S-shit’, you hastily searched for the sheets, cheeks already burning. 

‘Huh?’, he widened his eyes when he saw you were wearing one of his shirts, ‘W-why are you-‘. ‘Shut up Phinks!’. 

The blonde watched you as you ran into the bathroom, your cheeks burning red. You looked so pretty in his shirt, too pretty to forget. 

‘Tsk’, he smiled when he realized you went through his bag just to put on one of his shirts, ‘What’s wrong, princess? Can’t go a couple of hours without me?’. 

He frowned when he heard the door of the bathroom unlock. Were you going to admit your defeat? 

‘I said shut up, Phinks!’. 

The blonde barely managed to dodge the bottle of soap you’d thrown at him before you quickly locked the door again. 

‘Missed me, princess’, the vein of his temple started to throb again.

He couldn’t help it. He couldn’t stop the thoughts of pinning you against the wall, your fragile wrists in his hands, his nose brushing against yours while he promised you to make you behave. 

‘Ugh!’, you grunted in frustration, hands once again in your hair as you were sitting on the toilet lid.  

‘What’s wrong? Embarrassed?’, Phinks knocked on the door, his forehead resting against it. ‘Go away!’. ‘Don’t worry, won’t tell anyone you couldn’t miss me for a couple of hours-‘. 

You quickly opened the door, your heart racing with anger and powerlessness. 

‘Move’.

You wanted to tell him that you missed his scent. That you were wearing his shirt so that it felt as if he was lying next to you, but you couldn’t. It was obvious your mind started to romanticize what happened between the two of you. You hated him, you hated him since the first moment you saw him, and that couldn’t change overnight. 

‘Make me’, a smirk while he was leaning against the door frame. ‘We don’t have time for this’. ‘You mean you don’t have time. I just need to put on a suit’. 

Every attempt to sneak under his arm or to push him away was futile. Maybe if you used your nen-abilities… But that would be a little too much, wouldn’t it? 

‘What’s wrong? Confused not everyone does whatever the little princess wants?’, the blonde chuckled, enjoying every moment of this. 

There was only one way out, which you preferred to avoid, but it seemed like you had no other choice. 

‘H-huh?’, Phinks widened his eyes when he saw you pull his shirt over your head, exposing your perfect breasts once again. 

‘What’s wrong? Confused you’re not the only one who can play this game?’, you nonchalantly pushed the blonde aside, a smile on your face. 

A bra. Where was your bra? Why weren’t you wearing one? Did you plan this? Phinks felt lost, memories of the previous night flashing before his eyes. 

‘Brat’, Phinks gritted through his teeth before entering the bathroom. ‘Don’t be too long, need to put on some make-up’. 

‘Here’, now it was his turn to throw something towards your head, ‘Or is that mirror over there not big enough for your highness?’. 

You managed to catch your bag of make-up just in time. 

‘Thanks peasant’, you replied smugly, ‘Do dress up, I don't want my bodyguard to look bad’.

--- 

‘Finally’, you sighed while standing up from the bed, ‘Took you long en-‘. 

Wait? What? Was this the man who entered the bathroom 20 minutes ago? 

‘Can you help me with this?’, Phinks held up his arm, ‘The buttons are too small, can’t close them’. 

‘Okay’, you quietly responded, adjusting your dress before walking toward the blonde. 

‘H-here, that should do it’, you gently let go of his arm when you closed the buttons on his sleeve. ‘Thanks’, his eyes were fixed on the painting next to him. 

He couldn’t look at you, not too long anyway. With your make-up beautifully matching your red dress, your hair neatly in a bun, the jewels Chrollo got you… You looked even more stunning than the first time he saw you. 

‘Let’s go’, you cleared your throat, ‘Driver’s probably waiting’. 

Phinks, now happily, took on his role as your bodyguard. He guided you outside and opened every door for you, while making sure no one let their eyes linger a little too long on your perfect body. 

‘Be careful’, he almost whispered while looking out of the car. ‘Hm’, you sighed while looking at the matching ring Chrollo got you. It was obvious he wanted to make sure you fitted in the high-end crowd. 

‘If anyone tries to-‘, ‘Hey, you’re my bodyguard. It’s your job to protect me’, a thin line appeared between your brows. ‘You know you need to steal the diamonds on your own, right?’, Phinks slowly turned his head, ‘Or weren’t you – once again – not listening?’. ‘

W-what?’, you nervously giggled, ‘O-of course I knew that, psh’. 

You wanted to slap yourself. You really needed to pay more attention when someone explained the details of a mission. 

‘Idiot’, the blonde sighed, ‘Asked you this morning to go over the plan again’. ‘I know, I know’, you closed your eyes, ‘I’m sorry’. 

Huh? Did you just apologize? 

‘H-hey! What are you doing?’, you instantly moved closer to the door when Phinks started pinching your arm. ‘You just apologized, and you expect me to believe you’re… well, you?’. 

You crossed your arms in discontent before cursing the blonde. 

--- 

‘Of course I knew you were the governor. How could anyone forget such a handsome face?, you tried to put on your prettiest, most innocent smile. 

Phinks hated the way you were pushing your body against his. Fine, you needed to get some information, but why like this?

You snapped with your fingers, signaling Phinks to move closer. ‘What do you need, boss?’. 

It took all the blonde’s strength to call you his boss, to pretend he was a little puppy you could order around. 

‘Get me some more wine, will you?’, a smug look on your face when you saw the familiar vein on his temple. 

‘Sorry boss, need to stay with you at all times’ . ‘Oh it’s fine, I’ll keep her safe’, the older man grabbed your waist, his nose brushing against your cheek, ‘Maybe show her the diamonds…’. 

You wanted nothing more than to pull away, but you couldn’t. You were so close… Once he showed you where the diamonds were, you could knock him out and run. 

‘Tsk’, Phinks couldn’t hide his discontent, but he just had to suck it up for the sake of this mission. 

‘Huh?’, his eyes widened when you weren’t in the same spot anymore. He quickly scanned the room. After a minute, he concluded you weren’t here anymore. After all, Phinks would’ve immediately seen you in your beautiful, red dress. You were the prettiest girl here, no one could even come close to your beauty. 

‘So, where are the diamonds?’, you faked a drunk giggle, your hand resting on the man’s arm, ‘Been wondering how they look up close’. ‘Ssh’, the man smirked, ‘I’ll be fired if they find out I brought a pretty girl like you here’. ‘Oh stop it’, you let your forehead rest against his shoulder, ‘I just really want to see them’. 

‘Follow me’. 

You let the man grab your hand as he carefully unlocked the door with a password. 

‘O-oh’, your eyes flew open when you saw the diamonds, heart racing in excitement. They were truly breathtaking; unlike anything you’ve ever seen. 

‘Think it’s time to thank me, don’t you?’, the man let the door fall shut, his arms wrapped around your waist while his chin was resting on your shoulder. ‘Get off me’, a cold reply now you knew where the diamonds are. ‘Huh?’, he smirked while tightening his grip, ‘Don’t tell me you tricked me, because that wouldn’t be nice’, his hand now traveling to your breasts, ‘A pretty girl like you sure knows her place, right? She knows how fast a governor could spread a little lie to ruin her life’. 

Was he seriously threatening you? This was getting funnier by the minute. 

‘Do we really need to do th-‘, ‘I know who you are’, his nose digging into your hair as he took in your scent, ‘Y/N L/N, running from the law since you were a kid. I mean, can’t blame you when you grow up in a dump’. ‘H-how do you-‘. ‘There’s this really nice kid who can predict the future with her nen-abilities. Dad’s an asshole, but for a good price, he sells her predictions’. 

‘What stops me from killing you?’, your aura growing bigger by the second. ‘What was his name again? Oh right, Phinks’, the man chuckled, ‘Wouldn’t want him to get in trouble now, would we? I don’t ask much’, his fingers softly pushed the strip of your dress from your shoulder, ‘Just a quick fuck, and I’ll let you go’. 

 Phinks? How did he know Phinks’ name? 

‘See? Even a criminal like you knows when to listen’, his hot breath sent shivers down your spine as he slowly opened the back of your dress. 

A nauseous, suffocating feeling took over your senses. If there was even the tiniest chance that he could hurt Phinks… 

‘Those clothes didn’t fit you anyway. Way too elegant for a low-life like y-‘. 

With a loud bang, the secured door flew open. Relief rushed over your body when you saw Phinks standing in the door frame. For once, you were happy to see the throbbing vein on his temple, along with his wicked grin.

 ‘Thought you could handle things yourself?’. ‘He knows who we are’, you quickly readjusted your dress, ‘Some girl can predict the future. They knew we were coming’. ‘Are those fake?’, the blonde nodded towards the diamonds, ‘And I suggest you’re honest if you want to keep some of your limbs’. 

‘N-no please, I-I won’t tell anything’, the man quickly raised his hands. ‘I don’t care’, Phinks took hold of his collar, ‘You touched her’. 

---

‘At least we got the diamonds’, Phinks took off his shirt. ‘Hm’, you replied while biting on the inside of your lip. 

Phinks’ brows drew together at your response. You’d been absent-minded ever since you entered the car back to the hotel. 

‘You okay?’, the blonde looked into the bathroom. ‘Yeah, it’s nice we got them’, you sighed while putting your hair in a messy bun. 

He decided he wasn’t going to reply or to correct you, not until you laid down next to him. Maybe you were just tired. 

‘Night’, you laid down on your side, back facing towards him. 

‘Did he hurt you?’, Phinks clenched his jaw at the thought, his hands resting underneath his head while staring at the ceiling. ‘What? You don’t think I can handle someone like him? You think I’m that weak?’, you snapped back. 

‘Yes or no’.

You lowered your eyes, your heart sinking into your stomach. He didn’t actually hurt you, and you were probably just overreacting … but the venomous words he whispered into your ear as he forced himself onto you kept replaying themselves in your head. 

‘No’, you closed your eyes. 

You froze when you felt his arm wrap around your waist as he pulled you closer to him. 

‘Hate liars’, his chin rested on top of your head. 

What was happening? Why did you start to shake? Why did your eyes start to sting? 

‘Huh?’, Phinks’ eyes flew open as he heard your sobs, ‘Y/N?’. 

‘I’m a bad person, right? I’ve killed people, I like to hurt them, I like to steal things… I’m just a waste of space’. 

What could he tell you? What did you want to hear? Of course, you're  a bad person, at least in the eyes of most. 

‘Maybe to some, but not to me. I don’t think you’re a bad person. I think you do everything for the people you care about, even if that means stealing or killing others’. ‘S-shut up’, you smiled with tears in your eyes, ‘You’re just as bad’. 

‘Maybe’.  

You slowly turned around, your hands resting against his toned chest. 

'You looked cute in my shirt today' Phinks gently brushed through your hair. 'Please', you almost whispered. 'What?', he frowned at the lack of context. 'One more night before pretending we never-'. 

The blonde cut off your sentence with a kiss. You didn't need to repeat yourself. Phinks was aching for the warmth of your body. 

'Not going to hold back tonight', he whispered in between kisses, 'Not going to be careful'. ‘Don’t want you to’. 

Within seconds, Phinks had your face pushed into the matress, pushing you further off the edge with every thrust.

‘F-fuck you drive me crazy’, he tightened his grip around your hair, ‘Wanted to fuck you like this yesterday too’, heavy breaths left his lungs, ‘Been thinking about it ever since’. 

It sure was different from the other night, better in some ways. 

‘Let me see those pretty eyes’, Phinks swiftly turned you around, ‘Don’t care if you come, or if you’re tired… So don’t bother to tell me, just want you to be a good girl and let me use you for once’. 

He placed a gentle kiss on your temple before wrapping his hand around your throat. 

‘And don’t worry, princess, the night isn’t over after this’. 

--- 

‘Good job’, Chrollo smiled when you threw the bag of diamonds at his feet, ‘Think it’s time for us to leave this town. I’ll see everyone back home in a couple of days, think it’s best if we move in separate groups’. 

You nodded in agreement before walking over to the girls.

‘Lovebirds’, Feitan mischievously looked at Phinks. ‘What did you say?’, Phinks immediately raised his voice. ‘Don’t try to deny it’, Shalnark smugly responded, ‘Or did you think we wouldn’t notice those?’. ‘What?’, Phinks gritted his teeth. ‘These’, Shalnark pointed towards the dark spots on his neck. 

Phinks’ mind started to replay the memories of last night. A smile on his face when he thought about the way you wrapped around him as he pushed you against the wall. God, his hand fitted perfectly around your neck- 

‘Lovebirds’, Feitan repeated himself when he saw the smile on the blonde’s face. ‘Shut up, Fei!’, Phinks raised his voice, quickly grabbing one of the loose stones in the abandoned building. ‘Run, Fei!’, Shalnark yelled after the dark-haired man as he watched Phinks run after him. ‘Lovebirds, lovebirds, lovebirds’, Feitan childishly repeated himself with the mischievous smile still on his face.

‘H-huh?’, you tilted your head, ‘Wonder what they’re fighting about now’. 

[omgkalyppso]

Uncommon Questions for Étoile

from here

What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

Six years. fajshgfkjdah Am I exaggerating? Elves are long-lived, Étoile has had to sit through long winters, lessons from their mothers, and their Paladin training. They're fine to meditate or wait.

2. How easy is it for your character to laugh?

Étoile smiles really easily but much more rarely laughs. Étoile is very elf-y — and not exactly reserved, but in a moment where everyone else might be roaring with laughter, they'd only have a small chuckle. They might one day be better at big laughs, after living in cities / among large groups for longer, but even as long as they've been away from home, the awkwardness of having a big laugh echo through the mountain is kind of stuck with them.

3. How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

I think part of their nightly ritual is to look at the sky, whether cloud-covered or clear, to think of loved ones, and then to spend their time sitting up trying to relax their tension and maintain their posture as they find their trance and reverie.

4. How easy is it to earn their trust?

They'll give most people the benefit of the doubt except in exceptional circumstances, but if they feel their trust has been broken or abused it is very hard to restore it.

5. How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

Declarations of whole peoples, cultures or other groups as 'evil' puts a strain on Étoile's ability to trust someone, even when accounting for their biases. Also, they're forgiving of people who don't share full personal truths upon meeting, but how they handle their previous obfuscation if it becomes revealed is another way to earn their mistrust.

6. Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?

Oh, flexible, absolutely.

7. What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

Finding friendship and family and brotherhood with, or even just offering dignity to, those that average person in Faerûn would consider monstrous. They do.

8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?

"Stop leaning on things, stand up straight." I hate the b/g3 hunch Étoile has when they sit in chairs. But with that in mind, I think they hunch and lean and slouch because they want to be of-a-height with most people they talk to, and their mothers wanted them to be more healthy / economical with how they did that.

9. Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?

They do swear, but only rarely. Probably not, but maybe when Étoile was bored at eight years old and realizing that other children have the regular company of other children, they called tending to the temple of Auril "fucking boring," and were assigned extra memorizations and alchemical lessons to take up time if they had time to be bored.

10. What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?

Well-meaning monster hunters, adventurers, people who imagined themselves heroes, would have worked many times in Étoile's youth to ask if they'd seen anything unusual (ritualistic, lycanthropic, etc.) on their mountain. Étoile lied to righteous people, but learned not to see them as innocent very young. Their mothers chose them and they chose their mothers, over and over again. Bones are scattered in Auril's frozen wastes and gather at the shores of her icy rivers. Étoile's sympathies are stilted, they are very much not haunted by the fates of these people.

11. How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

Seek clarification. The funniest version of this to me is still Astarion thinking he's being clear as crystal saying he wants a little fun. From my fic (written during early access) :

“All I want is a little fun,” Astarion insisted. “Is that so much to ask?” Étoile’s lips parted slightly, teeth still together, their expression mostly unchanged, so their joy gave way to wonder, and suspicion. They knew what they hoped Astarion’s supposition meant, but there were so much to be said about vampires, some had even been true. Moreover, Étoile worried they had made assumptions about Astarion’s outrage from before, where he had admitted to being twisted beyond his control into torturing himself and others — as that would surely change anyone. Perhaps he missed pain, and it wouldn’t do to just agree to trying to indulge Astarion’s sense of fun, in case it turned out bleak or destructive. But neither did Étoile mean to accuse him. Perhaps Astarion simply missed a good riddle? Their tongue felt swollen in their mouth, and speaking risked breaking them into an even wider smile. Calm as they could, they managed to ask, “And what’s your idea of ‘a little fun?’”

12. How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?

Suffer. hfdfjhgfkhg Wait for it to pass.

13. What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?

I haven't seen them in very many colors. I'll presume they think all the blue they wear suits them. I think they're not wrong but that more bright reds wouldn't hurt.

14. What animal do they fear most?

According to b/g3 canon it's a kraken and that was so funny and unexpected I'm keeping it.

15. How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

I think it would have once shocked Astarion that Étoile only uses their present judgment to decide what should or should not be said, and doesn't rehearse any of what they have to say; but knowing them that it suits the rest of their conduct. However, it is something Étoile will have to learn to build or maintain alliances in post-canon, even with their generally intuitive conduct.

16. What makes their stomach turn?

A lot of things that I don't want to put in this post.

17. Are they easily embarrassed?

In sexual situations, no. In general, yes.

18. What embarrasses them?

When people frame their decisions as stupid decisions, lack of physical coordination, their age (too old? too young? signs of aging, etc.), their weird youth.

19. What is their favorite number?

Twenty.

20. If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?

Étoile's strongest expressions of platonic love can vary from wanting to see a friend succeed and be merry and still feeling open to evolution to a different kind of love; to wanting to be in that friend's life forever more, wanting to share everything from discussions of romantic partners to financial burdens and (dark?) ambitions, cemented as friends through anything.

Étoile's strongest expressions of familial love is a hierarchy of loyalty. No one could ever be prioritized for them before their mother, but if Lae'zel needed them across the planes or if Shadowheart needed a temporary home or if Isobel needed a reintroduction to modern custom, Étoile would be eternally available with a full heart.

Étoile would have a harder time describing what romantic love is to them. Astarion is their first partner that they hope will be a long-term partner (unsaid, for fear of upsetting a balance: a life-time partner). Halsin is their first partner to ever use the word love so quickly, and a lot of Halsin's conduct took them by surprise. Étoile does love them both, and it's much more comfortable than they'd been expecting, even with previous non-monogamous relationships they'd been in. There's a lot of encouragement and support, and expressions of the value of a moment, and the value of change, that keeps Étoile balanced in how they would figure into any other permanent or temporary arrangements that either Halsin or Astarion would want to pursue, and how they can keep any doors between them from closing permanently even if their lives end up not fitting together for years or centuries, as is the case with elves (and vampires, Astarion supposes).

21. Why do they get up in the morning? 

To save themself! To save others! To try to do good in the world! To one day return home feeling worthy of having left in the first place.

22. How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)?

Aloof. Pouty. Irritable.

23. How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)?

Étoile's probably mostly good humored about envy. It becomes admiration and adoration for the most part. Although if they're already driven to the edge of their nerves, it might make them manic and bitter.

24. Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom?

Yes. Partners, friends, adults. They are capable of mature, sensible and sensual conversations.

25. What are their thoughts on marriage?

Étoile recognizes it as a way for people to celebrate their unions and their gods, to ensure protection of children and property. They've known people who've done everything to run from a marriage, and people whose marriages have not been recognized, marriages that have fallen apart or estranged. It is to them, ultimately, just another expression of a relationship that requires more observation to be understood outside the label it provides. They would hope to one day be married.

26. What is their preferred mode of transportation?

By horse and cart on a clear road, but otherwise on their own two feet is fine.

27. What causes them to feel dread?

Loss of autonomy.

28. Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?

It depends on the circumstance. Usually no, sometimes yes.

29. Do they usually live up to their own ideals?

Usually yes, but when they fail it affects many more people than when they live up to their ideals.

30. Who do they most regret meeting?

The people they hate most shaped their life in positive ways. So instead they'll say Aradin.

31. Who are they the most glad to have met?

Oh, speaking of which. Their guardian.

32. Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke?

They do but it's spoilers for the mutuals.

33. Could they be considered lazy?

I do not think so.

34. How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt?

Nearly impossible.

35. How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive?

Generally yes, but they have weird friends so sometimes they need to be a voice of reason.

36. Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap? 

Generally actively seek, though they didn't have to do this for the events of b/g3, people kept shooting their shot.

37. Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)?

Not really. Not more than associating the name or thing they need to remember with the place or memory of when it was taught to them. They remember the elven pantheon because they were in a library facing the north windows of their Paladin order's initiate hall when they read and reread the names of deities that their drow mother wouldn't even speak.

38. What memory do they revisit the most often?

A bad memory: Their Guardian insisting they needed to learn to use their illithid powers in order to save them both / defeat an undefined threat.

Another bad memory: It's a secret. LOL.

A good memory: The first time their inherent high elf cantrip, Ray of Frost, manifested when they were about seven. It would have been exciting regardless, but their mothers, both worshippers of Auril, the Frostmaiden, were especially delighted.

A sad memory: Their drow mother, in the temple of Auril for the first time after their human mother's passing, instead of giving her monthly service for those gathered in attendance, kneeling at the altar and praying in silence. The first time, and the next twelve times afterwards, until most people stopped coming and she felt compelled to speak again of her god with her fellow worshippers.

A happy memory: Astarion not turning them away when they suggested they could have something more serious between them.

A horrible memory: An Act 3 memory not in the ending with Karlach. Cannot say more without spoilers.

39. How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people? 

Depends on the flaw. Generally they appreciate when people are trying their best.

40. How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

They're aware of their flaws but take suicidal actions anyway. As Raphael would say, 'because they must.'

41. How do they feel about children?

Answered here.

42. How badly do they want to reach their end goal?

They would have died to stop [threat] and they would have given up nearly all else for autonomy.

43. If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?

Bisexual. I thought I was going to have a big answer for this but I don't.