#I recognize $150 is like. a lot of money

[deoidesign]

Ever think you’ll do a physical print of time and time again?

Yes! I'm actively working on it now that I'm on hiatus ^^ I have 2/4 books for season 1 ready to go!

I'm planning to launch a kickstarter early next year for the first four books! (The pirate arc, the summer camp arc, the ghost hunting arc, and the vampire hunting arc)

I'm planning for each book to be $25, and I'll ship them out over the course of a year. (shipping in the us will be about $7 per book, and internationally it'll be around $16 per book!)

Each book is 100-150 pages and 8.3x5.8 inches ^^

I've got some really cute and exciting things planned for it!

Consider this the official announcement and a warning that it'll be pretty pricey! I'll have themed merch bundles offered as well (partially pictured) so it can add up fast! If you want all 4 books, expect to spend about $150 including shipping!

[onlycosmere]

Questioner: Do you have plans to self-produce your books into movies or TV shows? If Taylor Swift can do it, you can.

Questioner: Oh right, yeah, Taylor Swift. Let's point out, there's a little bit of a difference between a 45 million dollar Kickstarter and a 1.6 billion dollar tour. So, we've talked about this, and I've come to the conclusion that for right now I don't want to try it. There are a couple of reasons for this.

Reason number one is that I like my Kickstarters to have a ton of value in them, right? I always tell my team, I'm like, we have to be giving a lot of value to people on the stuff that they do with our crowdfunding or our Kickstarters. And that means that, of that 45 million dollars, we don't make a lot of that. We're putting most of that into the product, and into the shipping, and into the team, and into the company. And so, if we were to do a crowdfunded movie, we need like a 200 million dollar budget, 150 at the lowest, to do a film. And if I'm going to do that, I would want to be giving people a ton of value which means we'd probably have to raise 450 million, which is just a ridiculous amount to do on a crowdfunding, right? So that's number one.

Number two is, a lot of times, these sort of outsider projects don't work as well in Hollywood as you would hope they would. Taylor Swift was able to do a thing and put it directly in the theaters and whatnot, but what we want is a partner over a long period of time. I want someone like Universal, or Disney, or Warner Brothers, who has a long established reputation to buy in on the cosmere, and make things with me for twenty years, right? I don't want to just do one off, I want to build something over time and I feel like I need a really good partner in the industry to do that.

And you know, reason number three is, a fool and their money is soon parted. I've known too many people who think, yeah I can make a movie. And let's just say that there's a reason why The Room isn't that great, and it's because being good in one area doesn't mean you're good in another. I am really good at narrative. I'm getting good at screenplays, right? I'm getting to the point where I feel confident I could do the screenplays myself. But I can't direct, I can't cinematographize, I don't even know how to make that a verb, right? I can't do casting, I can't do all of these things that experts in their field, and yes, I could start hiring them, but I feel like, never having run a movie before, it would just be a disaster. So you would donate all this money, I would waste it all, because I wouldn't know what I'm doing, and this is how Kickstarters go bad real fast, right? I've only done these things when I know I can deliver, and I do not know I can deliver this for you.

So, for the mean time, I'm going to keep trying to use the standard mechanisms. I feel like, you know like, this year we got frighteningly close. Well, frightening is the wrong term. The frightening part is it didn't work out. But we got really, really close. I saw people on stage, in mistcloaks, acting and reading my lines, okay? Yeah. And then it all fell apart, and it's all dead, right? We got really close, but we're getting closer and closer. And Hollywood is really interested in the Cosmere. They recognize the value of my stories. They've been, for years, saying, we know this is going to come, break out, and it's going to be big someday. But it's all about figuring out how to make it work, and beyond that, Hollywood is kind of on fire right now. And so we're waiting for it to, for someone to put it out. So, regardless, the answer is, I've considered it, and I've discarded it for those reasons, but it's still possibly on the table. It is something that, you know, the awareness of the possibility is in the back of my mind, okay?

[alpaca-clouds]

Dungeons & Dragons - Or: Why Capitalism Sucks at Making Money

If this past year managed anything, it managed to get me really into DnD. Before I did not play DnD much, rather going with Shadowrun or (heavily homebrewed) World of Darkness. But with first Honor Among Thieves releasing - and then Baldur's Gate 3 giving me brainworms tadpoles... Yeah, hurray. New hyperfixation unlocked.

But as I started to read through all the lore, but also meta stuff happening around it. And yes, I quickly understood why basically everyone was frustrated with Hasbro and Wizards of the Coast. But I also think, that this betrays one of the big issues with capitalist logic and how it often fails to reach an audience - for the reason I outlined before: capitalists are actually super bad at realizing what works and why, because they only judge based on spread sheets.

And yes, the headline is hyperbolic. But let me explain.

A Community-Based Game

I mean, the biggest scandal of DnD this year was probably the entire thing about the community license. And this is very much something that shows quite well, how bad WotC is at recognizing why DnD works and has worked so long.

DnD centrally has been build around this idea of community. Now, mind you: This community was very, very focused on cis white guys for the longest time, but everybody else just managed to get in there and make their own little bit of community. Which also lead to a lot of homebrew stuff, that at times tackled some issues that the rules themselves did not address at all or not well. The combat wheelchair is probably the best known example of this.

But even outside of marginalized communities... DnD always thrived through the community aspect itself. People self-publishing magazines and adventures for it since the fucking 70s. As well as play sets, dice and what-have-you. DnD was always very much about all this and thrived through it. And now in came WotC saying: "Oh, yeah, actually you will now have to give us a big cut. (The big irony was, how Unity made the same move later on.) The fandom outcry was obviously big, there was a boycot, it worked. And WotC went all:

Of course they basically won the world competition in backpaddling (though again, Unity was a big contender this year as well) and quickly went back on this. But of course there is a problem: When your entire product is so much build around community and your community starts mistrusting you, you got a problem.

And this is basically what happened.

The Audience Problem

There is another problem of course. Financially the DnD movie failed - and I actually think this says a lot about how WotC kinda misunderstands the audience.

Now, there will be people trying to tell you, that given that the movie had great reviews and stuff. But the movie had a production budget of 150 million USD and only earned a bit more than 200 million on worldwide box office. Given that the marketing budget was likely around 30 million, the movie barely broke even.

Of course, part of the reason for it was that it just had a bad release date. It released parallel to the Super Mario movie, which ended up being one of the most successful movies of this year.

A friend of mine could not believe that the movie had financially flopped. They were like: "What the hell? Literally everyone I know who watched the movie went to cinema like three times to see it again." But... Yeah, that is true. But the issue is that these people are a very certain group.

Because lets make one thing clear: The people, who adored the movie so much, that they went to the cinema several times and bought the DVD/BluRay on release... were mostly queer nerds. Because this is the group of people who this movie spoke to.

And let's make this clear: I love the movie for this. I love that it so clearly went for this audience. Because I am part of this audience - and I adore this film.

But basically the movie has a general issue in terms of audience. Because on one hand the movie is too nerdy to have a wider audience appeal of people who had never played DnD, while on the other hand the movie was kinda not nerdy enough to go full force for the nerd audience.

A lot of people in the fandom have instantly sussed out one thing about the movie: "Why doesn't Edgin cast any spells? And why do we see so little of the weirder species?" And part of the reason undoubtedly was budget related. But the other reason is that... well, it is currently a well accepted wisdom in media production that you cannot sell a high-magic story. At least not outside of animated media.

Hence... There is surprisingly little magic being cast in this. And we also do have a mostly human main cast - or why Doric is the most classically pretty tiefling you have seen with her human skin tone and all of that. Because media productions do not trust the audience to accept high magic concepts.

Who is DnD actually for?

Okay, let me talk a bit about DnD 5e - and a good decision, and a bad decision. And how that affected DnD.

Everyone, who is somewhat into DnD probably knows that 5e massively changed the game. With one simple goal: Make it more accessible. Which manifested in several ways.

For one, the game was in some ways made less offensive. Because prior to 5e there was a ton of racism, sexism, queerphobia and ableism inherent to the game rules and times to the game lore. This is just a fact. Things like species that are inherently evil and stuff like that - and also some of the real-life racial coding inherent to some of the species. Removing all that stuff is a good thing. Like amazingly good.

And also, they made the rules a lot more accessible. Before the rules were bogged down with a lot of stuff, that was simplified or removed. Again, this is a good thing.

And this worked. It worked really well. Of course, this was also partly due to stuff like Critical Role and other actual plays like that happening and promoting the game. The player base probably increased ten-fold from what it was before.

Yes, it should also be noted that there is probably a good topic for a study on how formerly nerd-thingies became more and more mainstream during the last 10 years or so, but yes, DnD was one of those things.

But in this there was also a rather bad decision made, which ironically also mirrors what happened with Marvel. And this decision is: Because we want to reach a wider audience, every single thing we release for this has to reach the widest audience possible - rather than allowing that certain things might have a more specific audience.

I am sorry to talk about the MCU here, but it is just such a perfect example of this: The MCU basically made two mistakes. Overwhelming their audience with too many releases. But also not allowing the movies to be for a certain audience, but for the broadest audience possible. A good example is how they dealt with the minority-lead movies. They got directors and at times even writers from that minority - but then basically did not allow them to be too specific and be too critical of, for example, a racist system because that might not go over too well with white mainstream audiences.

Now, WotC did not really do anything like that. But they also went with this idea that everything they officially released should have the broadest possible appeal. Hence the weirdly low-magic approach to the movie, of which I assume that it definitely was an executive decision made.

The fact that the movie resonated so much with the queers more than anyone else was also not intended - at least not from the production company. Like, let's be honest. No, Xenk and Ed were not supposed to be read as romantic. And how appealing the found family trope was, probably was not intented at least on the side of Hasbro (not sure about screenwriters and director).

The Lore Problem

This perfectly connects to one of the big issues that all the franchises going for a broad appeal after being very nerd-focused for so long, run into: The Lore Problem. And this is quite ironic, because I ran into the problem earlier this year as well.

See, as I was writing fanfics for DnD:HAT I quickly ran into the problem that I knew next to nothing about the world of Faerûn. Sure, once upon a time (like between 2007 and 2011, while I was living in Austria with my then-boyfriend, who really was into those games) I played the old games of Neverwinter Nights and Baldur's Gate 1 + 2. But let's be frank: I barely remember shit from those games. And getting to understand what actually happened in the lore between and after... Well, there is just a ton of lore. I mean, people are playing around with this world for literal decades. So, yeah. This can very much be overwhelming for someone getting into it anew. Like, where can someone new even start?

The fact that - at least partly for legal reasons - most of the Actual Plays also do not work with the official lore, rather just using the rules to create their own worlds, obviously adds to this. Even the tables I played on so far always preferred original worlds, because the lore of DnD is just very intimidating.

The one thing that actuall ended up getting me into the lore was BG3, because it left open just the right questions to go into the Forgotten Realms wiki and just look for stuff, before also starting to listen to lore podcasts.

But here is the thing: WotC is also not helping with this issue. Like, they absolutel could create a proper accessible compendium on DnDBeyond that would just allow people to get an overview of the world and the timeline of things happening, maybe go into some of the major factions of the world and such. I mean, heck, they really, really want you to use DnD-Beyond rather than roll20. Yet, in DnD-Beyond I do not even have a monster compendium without paying, which roll20 offers.

Like, sure, WotC, it is okay to lock up the adventure modules behind a paywall, no problem. But if you do give me even the most basic tools to run a campaign, I am gonna use roll20, thank you very much.

But yeah, what WotC should make just more accessible was just: Timeline, important places and the maps (heck, make them interactive, you have the fucking money), maybe also a proper list of the pantheons and factions within the world. Heck, add maybe some inspiration there for what players might want to do within one of the scenarios and then, under this, go and link "hey, we made this one adventure about this, if you are interested!"

Something I did not realize originally was how much freedom the lore still leaves the people. Like, often even the important settings and events are just set-ups for adventures that the characters can have in there. There might be a few novels or comics then, that go into an example of a thing certain established characters like Drizzt or Elminster did during the time, but there is a ton of freedom to explore.

But by basically locking everything up behind a paywall, you will never get people even interested in this kinda stuff.

Because here is the thing: I like my lore. I love lore. I adore lore. But... Without BG3 explaining some stuff and giving me specific questions to ask about it, the lore would have been very inaccessible to me.

Just think of people as... people

Of course among it all there lies the central problem that comes with capitalism running something like this. See, whatever CEOs and shareholders are sitting on those chairs with WotC and Hasbro, they do not see the players as players or the community as a community, but as consumers. Just as they see their employees not as valued constributors, but very exchangable wage slaves.

They do not see the value of the community exchange with stuff like fanmade modules and things. While incorporating a bit of homebrew stuff in DnD Beyond, they are absolutely not interested in the wider market of people just creatively interacting with DnD and making a little bit of money from it. If anything they see those people as potential rivals on the market.

Heck, they have issues seeing things like Critical Role or Roll20 as the enrichment for the franchise that either are - but more like potential rivaling forces and money they have lost.

And their employees? Yeah, as we learned... Most people who from the side of WotC helped the Larian team with BG3 have been let go by now. Because WotC and Hasbro do not care for their employees, they only care about having some numbers going up.

I fully admit it. Apart from Buying BG3 and the money I have invested in anything DnD:HAT related, the only money that WotC got from me, was some of the novels I bought on Audible.

But here is the thing: WotC is doing a shite job at wanting me to invest into any of their stuff. Partly because those modules I would like to have are not available anywhere anyway - and partly because... As I said, give me a reason to get something, rather than just expecting me to randomly get something.

And mind you, this is no slight against any of the people just working for WotC. This is mostly about shareholder and executive decisions made. Stuff that basically just sees either their employers or the players just as a ressource to exploit, rather than... people.

[chibivesicle]

Well, that explains a lot.  Why Trigun Stampede was Sci fi over Western.

I was toodling on Youtube (as one oft does in these current times) and stumbled upon this excerpt from a Trash Taste podcast where they interviewed a staff member from Studio Orange about Trigun Stampede.  Pretty much this expands upon some of what I’d briefly read from a Sakuracon panel this spring.

TL:DR - Trigun Stampede was a complete remake of the original Trigun with a hired sci fi writer to not only write 150 years of history and lore but also mechanics of the world.  This is why most of the elements of the original are lost.  The manga and ‘98 anime were an example of an American style Western plopped on a desert planet but one where the materials and mechanics of the world are similar to our own.

If you are interested check out the video here:

This both supports what had been my general take away from the final product as well as explains things I observed but had no evidence for without hearing it from a staff member.

1.) Sci fi elements were a huge deal -  hiring an independent writer explains why it has such a different voice and storytelling tone.  One could argue that the original Trigun made it too easy to recognize it was a western, but that was what we were given as readers and viewers.  As much as I, an anal retentive person who like details like thinking that there is no wood on the planet, therefore, we can’t have wood saloon doors.  I also like a story that makes sense and flows.

2.) The twelve episode format boxed them in.  Who knows how these sort of deals are made but they needed at least 24 episodes from the start.  This is what killed the pacing.  You can redo all you want but if the pacing and writing are bad, it will be bad.  I feel like I’m the niche version of someone like Friendly Space Ninja and Amanda the Jedi.  Just because you put a lot of time, money and effort (also money) it won’t matter if your writing is bad. 3.) I fully agree that the CGI was exceptional.  It is obvious that the studio put so much effort into this front.  The animation was breathtakingly well done for the most part.  There were a few too many ‘show off’ animation sequences which annoyed me but the facial expressions were great.

However, due to the shift with the sci fi aspect being much greater than the Western, we get the loss of the ability to animate more of the common people who are largely absent and a key aspect of Nightow’s works.  I’ve stated this elsewhere but the adults in his series are trying to protect the common folk.  By leaning into the desert aspect and the desolation of the desert stereotype, they lacked the random kids, bakers, bankers, laborers, servers, farmers, mothers, fathers etc.  I’m not sure if this is a technical issue from the computational/technical side or a storyboarding/framing issue.  Or that they just forgot about the people in general were a thing?

This also heavily leans into the incorrect assumption that a desert is desolate and does not support life.  Anyone who has visited or lived in the desert knows that despite appearing like it is dead and empty at first, plenty of life is present.  It just has a totally different way to adapt to things.  I was disappointed that the creative team leaned into this stereotype using green plants [photosynthesis] = livable and desert using angelic being plants = livable.  My own experience of living in the desert also made me cringe at Wolfwood’s shoes.  No.  Just no.  You do not wear slip on shoes in the desert.  Lace ups for sure and up past your ankle even better.

4.) Ample amount of creative effort went into this.  Again, Studio Orange put a lot of effort into this.   Technically, it is very nice.  If you wanted to look at it from an anime perspective, the presentation was excellent, and the writing was at most average.  But, with so much source material that they did not include and the creation of so much of their own original ideas and concepts, it took it far from the work.   If they wanted this as their product (which seems to have been their goal) then they succeeded.  However, if they wanted to take the original and build on it and give it a fresh coat of paint with 2020s Pantone Colors of the moment, they did not do that.

5.) I’m surprised at how many YT critics are impressed and overall giving this positive reviews.  I know that people in these positions have made it their job to do anime/manga media commentary and critiques so they may want to be less harsh perhaps.  Many of them saw the original material, and so many seem to be okay with it.  Yet, is anyone not commenting on what happened to all the female characters?  No!  This annoys me so much but repeating myself here won’t really do much other than reinforce the fact that I was very unhappy with Meryl, Elendira, Luida, and Rem.  Lazy writing would be with the limited time space for the episodes they became tropes and shadows of their former selves.  But Meryl was a key character and deserved better. Yes, I love to critique things I love and that is fair but I’m wishing for a more comprehensive critique of Trigun Stampede taken from not a bunch of dudes on the internet.  I have neither the time nor effort to become a Youtube creator and commentator in this space.  With that whole full time job sort of thing that pays quite well.  But I do want to see more women in this space expressing how they interact with media and walk us through their reactions an feelings towards it.  For example someone the The Anime Tea. I absolutely love her analyses! 

https://www.youtube.com/@TheAnimeTea

I honestly would love to see her do a review of Trigun Stampede!  But it might be outside of her general scope and I’m not here to demand an analysis from anyone.  She had a lot of nuanced and contextually appropriate reviews and ways to approaching things which is just - sooo good.

[salmontheking]

Generalized preventative healthcare sounds great. The fact that its rejection is criminalized because treating the sick costs the state more money, however, and the fact that obesity is extinct, leads me to a one-word conclusion: eugenics. Sounds like some degree of social "purification" would be inevitable in a setting with so much centralized authority and powerful technology. You all but confirmed people are programmed by straining to die before they are 150, perhaps for the good of the state. If I'm right, I'm sure exceptions to that would also exist. In such a monstrous society as that, I'd love to know what other socio-biological minority groups have governments chosen to eliminate to save costs? Is depression still a thing? What about autism-spectrum disorders? Is gender disphoria extinct? What about gay and trans people themselves?

I recognize that most of your writing on the Megaton Heart setting is toned to imply that power, money & pragmatic interest guide the ideology of world powers. But I think you know people, and the governments they build, aren't really like that. Rancid and irrational ideologies are common throughout history. So tell us about the ugly stuff. Racism and queerphobia surely aren't extinct, just changed into new and interesting forms of bigotry. I'm curious when and how (not if) someone tried to use this versatile biotechnology to try and wipe out an ethnic group or social minority.

What about religious fanaticism? That's another thing that, rather than disappearing, simply changes with the times. I'm curious what religions see the stars falling as divine revelation rather than global threat. And I would like to know if any governments are committed enough to religious liberty (or on board with said religions) to *not* violently suppress such views.

Your setting is so fascinating. I want to know some of its spicy, ugly and dirty secrets.

Noone is programmed to die before 150, impulsion doesn't even work at that age, it couldn't kill you if it wanted. All the presidents and ministers and grand admirals of the world also don't live that much longer, and that's how you know it's state of the art.

...well, except for the Axis president who is officially ±200 years old and doesn't seem to age, but they might just played by actors or even an android, so it doesn't really say much.

Many books were written and riots were started on progressive medicine and race. It was, for decades, mostly available to the relatively rich or citizens of rich and progressive countries, which of course implies a racial bias. The benefits back then were pretty modest, but it lasted long enough to make a difference. Many countries still don't have universal impulsion.

There also exists a practice of stem captivity - basically, making stem strains intentionally flawed and dependent on specific medicine so people can't leave your country. Any developed country can easily get around this - if they care - but if you're trying to run from a miserable country to a slightly less miserable one, tough luck.

Gender dysphoria is extinct in developed countries, in that means of transition got a whole lot better and more accessible in 200 years. All that's left to be dysphoric about is, chromosomes, I guess? You can't even see them, and some cis people have different ones. Enbie heads of state are no news at all. Is bigotry gone? No, it isn't. But it's harder to find and usually not systemic.

It's always worth mentioning that poverty is relative. Today, we are almost all poor by the metrics of 2212.

The period of 2090-2120 birthed a surge in religious extremism and hundreds of doomsday cults, with the peak of climate apocalypse, falling stars and nuclear war all hitting at once. Some of them committed horrific acts of terror, most died off but some became succesful religions. They're rarely recognized as religions, specifically to justify suppressing them. Iran was the first country to make one of them legally equal with major pre-1900 religions, and that was in 2189. Axis is actually one of the least tolerant places in this metric.

Genocides were too many to mention.

Depression and the autism spectrum still exist.

Oh, have I mentioned how the massive progress of stem medicine since 2100 is only possible because of human experiments? No? Well, it is. It's still being done. Usually you don't even know if you're part of it, but the really nasty ones are not done on free citizens.

[cheldardo]

Nintendo fire this man!!!!!! 💥🔥🔥🔥

I gotta talk about this because i've been obsessed over this since like yesterday

Remember the "nintendo hire this man" joke meme thing?, well the person that made that mario in unreal engine goes by CryZENx

Now i never followed cryzen but i saw he posted a showcase of his ocarina of time remake, i came into it thinking: it's been a long while since then, perhaps he's gotten better

as i kept watching his video showcasing the OOT demo there were a lot of blatant errors and weird inconsistencies in the quality of models, animations were pretty rough too, they're good enough most of the time but just that

this was one of the inconsistencies that caught my attention the most, i didn't watch the whole video where he showed every stage he's made but i was skipping through the video and immediately recognized that guy under the tree is literally just the n64 model (screenshot taken from a comparison video)

i can't say for certain but i wouldn't doubt if there are more models that are straight up ripped from the original n64 game and slapped on unreal with the only difference being the lighting

there's many more models which look just fine, but they don't look that great, and again, the animations aren't helping the overall look

i also skipped through that comparison video and well at least most models look way better... but then i remembered, there's a 3DS remake of OOT, so i got curious and well

that's right, some models are just slightly modified / retextured from the 3DS remake, i'd love to check for more, i'm sure these aren't the only models that have been either a straight rip or changed just a bit, this is just in kokiri forest btw

you can argue he's trying to keep his stuff as faithful to the original as possible, but there's barely any effort or thought put into it, he's just putting the 3DS models in a new engine and calling it a day

okay but there's a good amount of modeling that actually looks great, like link's model, i think he did a great job on it, and it also makes sense since you're going to be seeing him all the time

now i'm no game dev (yet) and i don't use unreal (and plan to keep it that way) and right now i've only talked about the visuals, but there's also a ton of bugs and glitches some small, some others i wonder how they even happen, like not being able to move backwards and to the left, also on that same video there's this interesting comment

and that same person who commented is also working on a ocarina of time unreal engine remake

now by checking the wayback machine on his patreon page it seems he was getting about 150 dollars in late 2017, in 2019 it went up to around 400 and in mid 2020 and it had gone up to 1,000 and by 2021 he was making around 2,000

it'd be one thing to just make this as a passion project or just for fun, but people are giving you money, from september 2023 to 1,500 to 8,100 and right now as i write this he's at 14,000 members, he's only showing the number of members and not how much he's making but you can imagine it's a LOT of money

this is as far as i'm gonna look into this for now, but i'm sure there are a lot more issues, i don't hate cryzenx and you shouldn't attack him but it sucks seeing someone do almost the bare minimum and sacrificing clarity and style for realistic physically based rendering

[freebooter4ever]

how's the job hunt going? would you ever relocate for a job love?

Oh wow what a question lol! Honestly i dont expect to be able to find anything new till this strike is over, the competition is insane right now. In the meantime my plan is to teach myself faster hard surface sculpting in z*brush using hockey gear \o/ mostly because i dont want to pay the $150 a month for maya, that shits insane. Like a fucking health insurance payment.

For the second question - i dont think i've ever experienced love like that. I think it would take a lot of devotion and sacrifice to give up your dreams for someone else. Admirable, for sure. And also a sacrifice that historically women are the ones expected to make. Every time. :( For a job? Lol, i would move in a heartbeat. I stayed in pittsburgh 6 years after college for my dream job - i only left when i lost it. Knew the next dream job wasnt going to be there, so made my way to LA. And now im having to come to terms with the idea that the dream job doesnt exist as i imagined it - or only exists for a very VERY select few.

And actually, thats not totally true about me and love. I think if i thought for one second that nick could love me back like i diid him, id already be in new england. When i applied to this one job, that sounded like a dream come true it listed the salary, and brian and i just read it and gaped. We looked at each other and i was like i dont even know what the fuck i would DO with all that. And of course the first thing that popped into my mind was i could buy that sailboat nick always talked about. When i was writing my programming textbook a decade ago, and really going through it, and nick and i were up until 3 or 4am every night painting theater sets, he'd talk about his sailing adventures, teach me rope knots, that sort of thing, basically a mental escape. And so last week i texted him like 'hey no promises but what if im suddenly actually making good money. Do you still want that boat?' Because, nick's worked so long and so hard and all he's gotten to is the point of still working on boats other people own, and its just not fair how devalued physical labor is, you know? And his immediate reaction was to launch into our very old daydream - the whole 'yes and you're coming with me, sail off into the sunset' stuff. And that hadnt occured to me - my idea was just- id give him the boat, and he'd fix it up, and id maybe demand photos or a visit or two every so often. Because i think finally -finally- im at a point in my life where being in love isnt enough - i want the other person to love me back. And lol definitely not someone who declares love one minute and then stops talking to me for weeks or months, and the cycle repeats over and over. I think its possible to love someone enough that you recognize you arent the one for them, but still want them to be happy? Happier than you could make them.

So long answer is yes, i would relocate for love, but i have learned the hard way to know when i shouldn't.

[cobaltbeam]

Hi there! Saw that your commissions are open and just few days ago was lamenting on who I should I try to ask for a commission to see art of this angsty mental image I had a few years back. I am aware that the image I have in mind might a bit too much to work and you'll decline it because of it but here goes nothing. How much it would cost to commission a pic (this is based on what wrote in fic at AO3) "of a young Rex running, one arm reaching out for the shapes of his brothers that are walking ahead of him, fading into the distance. We don't see their faces but we can recognize their armor, the familiar blue markings of Hardcase, Fives, Jesse and so on. We can see Rex's face, the anguish in his expression as he tries his best to follow them but unable to do so."

The actual ficlet itself goes like this (pardon the grammar mistakes):

"They said that no vod was truly gone, just marching far away but no one really knew where that march would lead them in the end.

After somehow living through not one but two galaxy wide wars, Rex was starting to feel that his fate would never be the same as his vode, that his lot was to be left alone to look at the backs, forever disappearing into the distance.

When the time would come, Rex just hoped that they (his men, his riduur) would slow down just enough for him to finally catch them."

Sorry for the lengthy ask but I had a bad day and saw that you are open for commissions and I am ready to spend a lot of money were you to willing to do it. If not, I totally understand because like said before it is rather big and might take too much of your time.

Thank you anyway! Love your art! :D

Hello! I have no problem with angst at all! I loooove drawing that kindof stuff :D

Something like that would be around 150/200€, depending on how many characters in total you'd like! You can DM me if you want to go for it! :)

[despair-to-future-arcs]

Big whoops.

Whoa so that's her? I do see the family resembles going on...

Yeah, the thing with Harumi was that she was a rebel and usually hung out with my former Classmates.

But they were a bunch of bullies, not nice at all but I heard they got expelled and are doing better which probably for the best and I even remember she was going to attend the main course.

Wait, seriously? Like what was she good at...?

I believe it was related to forensics, a type of field the police use to solve cold cases and track down murderers.

But they can be use for things like finding art theives, stolen money and other things connected to DNA, she solve a total of 150 cases in total; I think her first case was solving her teacher's murder in middle school and it was discover to be a pretty pissed off former classmate of hers.

Wh-Whoa, a 150 cases?! That's a lot!

So if she were enroll she would of been able to solve a whole bunch of cases, huh?

Yeah she would of been, honestly her research would of help out the police if I had to guess.

But I will admit, given her family; I figure she get in no problem but didn't.

Her family? Wait is this connected to Nepotism as well?

Yeah it is, in fact here's some papers regarding her mom...

*pulls out laptop and clicks a page*

-------------------------------------------------------------------

'After being the head of the ministry of education for 55 years - Hitomi Nanami, Hope's Peak Academy's Class 22's Ultimate Teacher has resigned and has step down...'

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Whoa, ministry of education?

Yeah, Harumi's mom was a huge help with the education system after World War 2 and was even alive during the atomic bomb, she help to restore the education system and even help improve Hope's Peak Academy and made it a proper school.

Why else do you think the school has classmates and labs, you can thank to her.

Huh? So that's why those classrooms exist, I never really sat in them but if she's that big of a deal then wow that's huge.

Yeah I think after she graduated; the school was never run the same again, she left a lot of notes and everything but the school barely use them at all - I think her biggest issue is that people took advantage of her kindness and didn't want to work on the school.

And of course, there's her mom as well - a pretty family medic...

-------------------------------------------------------------------

'Chiyo Nanami, the Ultimate Medic of Class 6 was one of the first female Ultimates to be recognize for her knowledge into Western Medical procedures and influenced by complementary and alternative medicine. Policymakers in this era appear to have been successful, as their objectives were fulfilled, leaving room for traditional practitioners to maintain their practices and even has a hospital named after her.'

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Wh-Whoa, so like... this is the first women to be recognize as an Ultimates?!

So without her, women wouldn't become Ultimates... dang, talk about a legacy to fulfil, huh?

Yeah, as say - the Nanami's have quite a history with the school and their daughter got enroll as an Ultimate Gamer which honestly doesn't surprise me.

But I'm surprise how your class treated that girl, honestly what they did wasn't okay and you should tell them that what they did was wrong.

Yeah, I know and hearing all this kind of annoys me too...

But y'know I'm not good at confronting people with this stuff, I mean I don't like bringing down the mood.

But even still, what your class did wasn't okay? Trust me, saying stuff like this probably won't make anyone happy but if they don't realize their mistake; they won't get better and trust me, it usually is better if you realize where you are wrong to become better.

That's the thing that we in the adult world have to learn and I think you should realize this too before you graduate, Ibuki.

Hmm... yeah, I think I get it; if you want to get better then you have to realize where you went wrong; I'll be sure to inform them all about this.

Heh, good glad to hear it! I know your a good kid Ibuki, I know you wouldn't do this without a reason so hopefully you realize that!

'My mom was a good person and honestly, I realize this mistake but I still don't like bringing down the mood but I feel I had to say something...'

[coffeecatsandhealth]

1/18/24

I just turned down a recruiter today because I didn't care for their tone or the way they rushed the phone call I had with them yesterday. I'm prefer to stay working in the Cloud IT space and I'm at a point in my career where I can be a bit choosy. I do need to update my resume however. I'm not sure if I want to stick around at my current job for awhile. I used to work at one of the widest recognized companies in the world as a contractor but I was laid off. I now know I can ask for significantly more than I had and have been making because I have that experience under my belt. Money doesn't go as far as it used to and I'm on a lot of debt because of long covid fucking up my brain, chronic illness and being chronically depressed. I've dug myself into a hole and I've found myself in ba place like how my parents were when I was growing up. I never wanted to be in an astronomical amount of debt like they were. I make enough money that I shouldn't be in debt like I am. But it mostly goes to debt and bills. That's hard seeing my money just go away because I'm effectively enslaved to my own debt that was created out of depression, sickness, autoimmune issues and chronic pain. I spent money because I was looking for anything to hit my hair button in my brain because i spent so much time being sad.

I've come a long way since therm and my health has greatly improved. One thing I'm very happy about I that I've gotten placed on welbutrin or really the generic bupropion of you want to get specific. I used to be on this stuff but I'm on a cocktail of psychiatric meds now because my brain is full of depression and adhd. Currently on 54 mg Concerta, 10 mg Trintellix, 5 mg Abilify, 150 mg Wellbutrin. I'm hoping for the best and I hope that the wellbutrin fills in the gaps that my other needs haven't been able to solve on their own yet.

[ekoilemartinwrite]

Journal January 5, 2023

I just left after volunteering my time at the data center the first time. The day center at my church, I arrived at nine and left at about 150 in the afternoon. Barbara is correct, you could not make up the stories if you try. No one would believe that. I can already tell that some people there are absolute characters. I heard about someone and took her son at this moment son who, they both need a walker in order to move unless they've had alcohol in which case they can move freely and completely.

I wore my boots, I need different boots. I want to say I need to open toed boots, but I think what I need is zero trough boots, that will let my toes appropriately spread out. I've worked all day on my feet

Once, I know what being on my feet should feel that I hello, my lower back hurts.

I got woken up this morning earlier at Ornish, Sucre. I pray for about an hour that I feel like I got told to go back to bed. I chose in and out of sleep until around eight. I had not set my alarm, which I will do now on. Ashley is actually one woke me up phone call at 8 AM.

– And I seem to have come to a reasonable meeting of the minds regarding money. She's going to continue paying the rents, and that technically will be my income from which I will time. That I think will actually handle most of my monthly expenses not counting taxes. I still need to check to see what my guy has said about my savings.

In the past week Ash and I had been fighting about it a lot. She got hired, but I congratulated for a number four, then five minutes later I started talking about tithing. I do not handle it well. She is understandably upset, considering that she justifiably feels that I lied to her which was not consciously intentional, but practically, for all practical measures is what happened. She proposed the solution of just continuing to pay rent, and from that I will try.

For my first day in the day center, I started off by wiping down tables, and then I spent most the day in the kitchen just serving coffee serving whatever meal people asked for. We had some soup we had some toast with the, with the options of peanut butter, jelly, butter, we also had oatmeal, soup, baked potato, baked sweet potato, those last two were microwaved., Several different kinds of bread. I currently find it striking that I am more easily able to list off the food and items I dealt with rather than the people I dealt with. I know that it used to be true. I feel like I stored a significant chunk of my brain into memorizing the names of people and their faces.

Really was there today, I also saw Pastor Heather. I wish them both a happy new year. Barbara, saw, and Donnie were there. I also saw Garrett's, who is in charge of social services. Donny and I talked a little bit about poetry, and the next poetry meeting. Barbara is a gem. She may have the attitude of being the class clown, but she also has a knack and skill, of interacting with people. Right now, I feel like a wet blanket. I don't feel like I have the skill of interacting with a lot of different people, or bringing moods up.

I'm not certain that any particular tricks for tips are going to help me with this group. I don't think trying to be or charismatic will help. I mean, it might but only to a certain extent. It still something worth looking into. But I think maybe learning this group of people will be more helpful. Just this learning people's names, I know I recognize faces from people of the church, not being afraid to just stay in the kitchen. They mentioned how on Tuesdays there are Mormon missionaries who come to spend time it be helpful.. They would worth it would be worthwhile to be there to observe and learn that.

I am beginning to realize what I have done. I left my job. I have not been without one, really, since I left school. And even that, searching for a job was my job. And before school, school was my job. I have yet to actually figure out what my job is right now, beyond writing, and obeying God. The second is it's a job, it's a joy. At least I keep telling myself that, sometimes it is not fun. I'm just realizing how much of who I am as a person, and how much my job dictated my time.

[brucegivner]

How Capital Gains Tax Work

Congress has historically imposed a lower tax rate on the sale of capital assets than on other forms of income. That is the source of one of the major complaints against our tax system: middle and lower class people work for a living, so their primary source of income - compensation for services rendered - is taxed at high rates, currently up to 37%. In contrast, wealthy people do not rely on salary to maintain their standard of living. Wealthy people get most of their income from the sale of capital assets, like real estate, closely held businesses and publicly traded stocks and bonds, taxed at rates from 20% to 23.8%. That is why Warren Buffet says he pays less tax than his secretary. (He means he pays taxes at a lower RATE than his secretary.)

This overlooks another way in which wealthy people get their money and get wealthier: borrowing money. A wealthy real estate owner buys a building for $2,000,000 by putting $700,000 down and getting a $1,300,000 bank loan. Later the building increases in value to $4,000,000. The owner goes to the bank to get a new loan. The new loan is for $2,600,000. That is enough to pay off the old loan and have another $1,300,000 to either (i) buy a new building; (ii) put in the bank to pay for his or her standard of living; or (iii) a little bit of each.

Elon Musk is an excellent example of the owner of a lot of stock in a publicly traded company which pays no dividends from which he can pay for his standard of living and toys. However, with stock worth about $150 billion, he can borrow $1 billion to pay for his standard of living and buy several very nice homes and yachts.

Capital gains are taxed differently depending upon how long you hold the asset. If you hold the asset for one year or less, that is a short-term capital gain and it is generally taxed at the same rate as compensation for services rendered (currently up to 37%). If, instead, you hold the asset for more than one year, that is a long-term capital gain and the maximum tax rate is 20% or 23.8%. Depending upon your other income, the long-term capital gains tax rate might be zero or 15%. Congress favors long-term over short-term capital gains because it wants to discourage taxpayers from short-term trading of assets.

The capital gain is measured by what you receive minus your "basis." "Basis" starts off with what you paid for the asset. It is then decreased by any depreciation you take, as is the case with income producing real estate. It is increased by any improvements you make. Those two adjustments are what make the resulting "basis" into "adjusted basis."

Example: you buy a duplex for $1,000,000. After several years you have taken $100,000 of depreciation. Your basis is now $900,000. You sell it for $1,300,000. You have a $400,000 capital gain.

You only owe the capital gains tax for gains that have been "recognized." "Recognition" generally only occurs when you get paid for the sale of the asset. If you pay $1,000,000 for the building and several years later it is worth $1,300,000, you have a "realized" gain of $300,000. But there is no tax on a "realized gain."

That is, by the way, one reason why you are required to keep all of the documents relating to how much you paid for a capital asset forever. This surprises taxpayers who are used to hearing they only need to keep documents for tax purposes for 3, 6 or 7 years.

You can deduct the total capital losses suffered in a year from the taxable capital gains for the year. In other words, you must pay taxes on net capital gains. There is a $3,000 limit on reported net losses yearly. However, excess losses can be carried over to later years.

Taxpayers can report capital losses incurred on investment assets like bonds, mutual funds, and stocks. They can do the same with tangible assets when they are not for personal gain. Jewelry, houses, and collectibles are examples. Short-term and long-term capital losses might cancel out short-term and long-term benefits.

When your long-term gains outweigh your short-term, you are presumed to have a long-term capital gain. However, if your net long-term capital gain is below your net short-term capital loss, you can offset your long-term gain with the short-term loss.

The 2017 Tax Cuts and Jobs Act (TCJA) increased the number of people in the 20% long-term capital gains tax rate. The IRS is required to modify the income tax brackets yearly to account for inflation. That puts many more people into this category.

In conclusion, the tax laws favor people who wish to create wealth over people who work hard for a living in exchange for a salary. Exception to that rule: if you happen to work for a business from which you get BOTH a salary and an interest in the business. That occurs often with the CEOs of big public companies. They may get a salary in the millions and also many more millions in stock or stock options.

[senescenceandsensibility]

Rambling in the New Year

Here we are. Happy New Year.

The holidays were fine. I traveled for Thanksgiving but was home alone for Christmas. In the past, family might join me (or us, when my husband was alive) and that felt right. But now it feels weird to tack myself on to established traditions in other households, even my sisters’.

It is inevitably hard. There isn’t a single piece of media one can consume at this time of year that doesn’t hammer at you about family and togetherness and love, either how vital it is for human existence in general, or how tragic it is when all that isn’t present on this one day above all the days. I felt okay on Christmas, but I was a lot better the day after. I was white knuckling it. Just get behind me, please.

When I was about 14, I said I didn’t want a party for my birthday. My extreme teenage self-consciousness was on the rise, and I couldn’t conceive of a party at our house that I could enjoy. That was true and I didn’t change my mind even as I cried on the day. Sometimes being alone is the next best thing, and you take it. I had and have a lot to be grateful for. I’m incredibly lucky. Also, occasionally, lonely. It’s not a death sentence even if everything this time of year makes you feel like it is.

And now, the new year. Ahh. What will it be?

I just read some advice about making a list of 10 things you love to do, a reference for hard days or when you’ve been doing for others for too long and have forgotten what fills your well. But I can’t come up with 10 things. Read, knit, jigsaw puzzles, crossword puzzles….that’s it. That’s my list. All of them safe at home.

I suppose I should put writing on the list, but although I *do* feel better for having done it, it’s not something I turn to with any eagerness. Everything seems to take a bite out of me. And because I am perhaps a little too wary of things that might drain me (and to be fair, almost everything does), I’ve boxed myself in.

I have had memory issues lately, bad enough to have spun myself into thinking there’s Something Wrong, even though there are plenty of reasons for me to be distracted and forgetful, namely the 50+ hours per week I spend at the beck and call of 150 people. It’s not a mystery why I’m not particularly present when my mind is a hundred places at once. I’m taking some steps, implementing tools to help me. Trying to use my time more wisely, etc. Deleting apps, unsubscribing from emails. The usual new year stuff.

There’s so much we unconsciously buy into. You’re only really legitimate if you’re loved, you’re only really loved if you’re shapely and fit and fashionable, and so on. It’s a lot to carry around. I do feel like I’m unloading some of it but not really sure what’s on the other side. Also, I want to be loved. I was trained to want all of that stuff.

Not surprisingly, given my mother and my husband, I used to think a lot about dying from disease. But I seem to have reached an age where I’m more concerned about dying suddenly. About a car accident, the hail of gunfire. I don’t feel like I’ve started, let alone finished, what I’m here for. And that seems especially important now that I can see I’m not here for the Big Love. That’s not going to be my story, so then, what is? And can I manage it alone before I’m gone?

Ha, not a cheerful new year post, sorry.

Lots of people chafe under parental expectation, familial responsibilities, partner needs. I don’t have any of that. No one but me cares what I do or if I do anything but what I’m already doing, which at the moment is going to work and then coming home. That used to bother me a lot because I also had no money. I’m financially more secure than I was, and because that tremendous weight has been lifted, I failed to recognize what is almost certainly a low-level depression. One that would certainly explain my distractedness, my loss of spirit. One that is also a hundred percent to be expected. We’ve all been through some stuff lately! I’ve never been one for uncomplicated feelings. I can feel lucky and sad. I am both grateful and disappointed.

So, I am resolving. To write things down, even if I think I’ll remember. I will do puzzles and read and knit. I will maybe, just maybe, pick up my manuscript and finish that thing once and for all. I will try to recognize what restores me and do more of it.

Here’s to a year better than last. I hope you found the best notebook ever.

[museumlomo]

Lost girl tumblr

#Lost girl tumblr free#

She loved Evelyn unconditionally until her last day when that woman (as incredible as she was) put her through absolute HELL again and again.Ĭelia St. AND THE FACT that she was the one to plan Evelyn’s last marriage to her own brother so Evelyn wouldn’t lose her daughter and could have everything that was hers when she died is both heartbreaking (because she caved in and recognized that she could not win that fight) and beautiful (because it shows that she truly grew and tried to make the ugly pieces of their reality fit their love). And for people to say it was unrealistic for her to want so much to not keep her relationship a secret and for Evelyn not to hide her is ridiculous and clearly they have never been in love that way that makes you truly naive and unreasonable or have never experienced closeted love and its frustrations. lost-girl-23: My harness from happyendingscum arrived in the post and. She made a lot of mistakes and said a lot of wrong things. read at least one.I will NOT stand with the Celia slander. this link has a ton of great resources to educate yourself. it’s really informative and only about 15 minutes long. watch this video explaining the racial wealth gap.read this article and forward it to at least one person.post these important sources to your social media.follow every single one of these organizations on social media: blcklivesmatter, colorofchange, reclaimtheblock, showingupforracialjustice, and civilrightsorg.if you have any more money to spare, please donate it to one of these funds. this website is extremely helpful, well organized, and practically does all of the work for you. text or call for any of these victims.

#Lost girl tumblr free#

after filling out the form, you will receive texts Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays telling you what action to take. I love getting to know people and meet new friends I love questions so feel free to ask I post random things such as, love quotes. this is a way to help raise money without having to donate any. if hasn’t accused you of being a bot yet, you haven’t signed enough. either do them right now or set a reminder to get it done before the sun goes down. so, if you are reading this, you are ~legally~ obligated to choose 2 numbers below you must complete the task of those two numbers today. we can’t let our dashes go back to normal when the world is not normal. Lookwhatyoumademefuckingdo: do not ignore this If you’re struggling for any reason, please reach out to any of the free and confidential counseling services listed here. We’ll list more resources and reblogs over on as we find them.Īs always, please make sure you are taking care of yourself as well. If you can’t, consider spreading the word. To help the survivors and families of yesterday’s hate crimes, please consider donating to a nonprofit like the Atlanta branch of Asian Americans Advancing Justice if you can. In this weeks episode of Lost Girl, Bo releases her father to help deal with the Nix and stop the. If you see hate speech on Tumblr, please report it. Lost Girl Episode 509 44 Minutes to Save the World. We stand with the Asian American community. These words are as true today as they were then. White supremacists, Nazis, and other purveyors of hate can fully fuck off. Last June, in the wake up of yet another uprising in hate crimes committed by white supremacists, we released the following statement: Hate crimes against Asian Americans have increased nearly 150% in the US in the last year. The events that unfolded over the past 24 hours in Atlanta were not isolated incidents.

[theartofimagining13]

BASED ON: Tom and Ben were enemies in their shady business. Ben captured Tom and thought he would finally get rid of him and climb up the ladder until his nemesis revealed the ace up his sleeve; he had you. Tom had l... [More]

WRITTEN BY: A.Wölf.

NOTES: Kids, you know me. There’s bad men, guns, blood, and lots of cursing in this story. 

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!

The dripping sound coming from an old rusty pipe echoed in the empty warehouse.

It served like a metronome for the man with a hood over his head, strapped to a chair in the middle of the big space, humming Johnny Cash to himself.

I hurt myself today

To see if I still feel.

Thomas sang lazily, practically reciting the song after waiting for hours for someone to show up. He heard steps in the distance but that didn’t stop him; he kept singing. His captor Ben, with a cup of coffee in his right hand, a gun holstered in his waistband, and flanked by two men stopped several feet away from the chair to listen. At first, he thought Thomas was just mumbling random words, still in a fuzzy, barely-conscious state after being struck in the head with a heavy object to be kidnapped and brought to him.

As Ben got closer, he recognized the song and rolled his eyes at his colleagues. He reached the empty chair in front of Thomas and straddled it.

And you could have it all.

My empire of dirt.

Ben brusquely removed the hood and Thomas winced a little but kept his head low and carried on with the song.

I will let you down.

He slowly lifted his head to finally look Ben in the eye and deliver the next line while looking just as bored as his singing sounded.

I will make you hurt.

He finally stopped and cocked his head.

“Hardly. I mean, look at you.” Ben said with a proud smile before taking a sip of coffee. He suddenly raised his paper cup. “Coffee?”

Thomas glared at him.

“You are absurdly predictable, Benjamin.” He said.

“Why the hell did you blow up my shipment then, if I’m so predictable? You have no idea the amount of money I lost. It’s obscene. Not to mention all the clients who are now pissed off at me because of you and your army of cocksuckers who torched my product.”

“Which could’ve been avoided if you had kept your shit out of my territory. You were warned once.”

Ben finished his coffee and placed the empty cup on the floor.

“Did you really think you could fool me and bring in over a 150 K’s without us noticing?” Thomas pushed with undertones of disbelief right before letting out a chuckle. “We have eyes and ears everywhere. And now this?” Thomas motioned at his tied self. “God, I always knew you were a dumb prick, Ben, but I clearly underestimated your level of idiocy, didn’t I?” He paused. “My people will come after you.”

“I don’t give a fuck. You put a bloody target on my back anyway.” Ben said through gritted teeth.

He got up and, it wasn’t until then that Thomas noticed the medical surgical trolley behind him.  

“You’ve given me no choice, Tommy.” Ben said as he studied every single torture tool before him, trying to pick one. “I’d be choosing my last words if I were you.”  

Thomas studied him trying to tell if Ben was bluffing, but he suddenly turned around with a hacksaw in his right hand and a big smile on his face.

“I always wanted to use one of these. However…” He turned back around.

Thomas realized he’d have to negotiate. He forced a chuckle.

“You want to climb up the ladder. I get it. But you don’t seem to understand that killing me will only get you killed.”

“Bosses aren’t untouchable, you know? It’s been done in the past.” Ben calmly said still immersed in his toys. “I know your guys will come after me, but they can either choose to join me or follow you to the grave.”

Thomas finally came to the conclusion that he was in deep trouble but, like any other cunning cartel boss would, he had an ace up his sleeve.

“I’m impressed, Ben.” He began. “I see you’re finally acquiring a general sense of the business. What would your former little flame think of you now?”

Ben instantly tensed up. Fear crept in and shock kicked as he inevitably turned around at the sound of her name coming out of Thomas’ lips.

“What’d you fucking say?”

“Nevermind. I spoke too soon.” Thomas sighed while shaking his head with condescendence. “I never went around killing people that vexed me to get to where I am today. I did my homework. And if you did yours, you’d know that sometimes you don’t even have to get your hands dirty. People will do as you say when they know you’ll pull the trigger on the people they love.” Thomas lectured. “It’s about knowing the enemy’s weakness. And yours… is that beautiful girl, am I correct?” He paused. “You were even selfless enough to sacrifice your own heart just to keep her safe. So romantic.” Thomas mocked.

Thomas smiled at the sudden terror in Ben’s eyes.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“This is the kid who’s been moving the new product in town.” One of Thomas’s men said as he walked with him towards the driveway. He handed him a file folder. “His name’s Benjamin.”

Thomas stopped a few inches away from his car to look at it.

“We gave him a warning, sir, but…” The man continued, “…there’s quality in his product. His sells are increasing among our clients.”

Among various documents and photographs, one in particular caught Thomas’ attention. A Polaroid of Ben with a woman.

“This cocksucker might become a problem. Follow him. Find out who she is.” He ordered as he handed the file folder back and got into his car.

Ben missed her.

But he wasn’t safe to be around. Not since he had pissed the town’s mob boss and had taken a beating from his men. And as soon as he knew they were coming for him, he broke up with her without a reason just to keep her out of his messy and dangerous new lifestyle. He thought she deserved better but he was going crazy and missed her like hell.

Ben grabbed a black hoodie and left his place. He walked the streets with the hood on until he stood in front of her apartment building. He looked up at the 4th floor, and as if the universe conspired in his favor, she walked by the window and he caught a glimpse of her. Ben smiled. He wanted that to be enough for him so he could walk home in peace but he felt he would burst into flames if he didn’t touch her.

“Fuck.” He cursed under his breath and entered the building headed for the elevators.

Her face fell when she opened the door and saw him standing there.

“What the hell are you d-”

He didn’t let her finish.

Without a care, Ben ended the distance, wrapped his arms around her and kissed her desperately.

“What are you involved in?”

The former lovers lied in bed wrapped in the sheets and in a bittersweet bliss after making love. She was resting her head on his bare chest.

“I know you’re the one sending me those money envelopes, Ben.” She pushed as she searched for his eyes.

“The less you know the safer you will be.” Ben kissed the top of her head and got up.

She stared at him as he started gathering his clothes and changing into them.

“You keep saying that. What about you? How is keeping me in the dark going to keep you safe?”

“That is no longer your concern.”

“I am not the one who broke things off out of the fucking blue, Ben!” She raised her voice. “You started talking about buying a big house and all these plans you made for us and then you broke up with me.”

“And it fucking hurt like hell!” Ben snapped.

Ben sat on the edge of the bed with a sigh. He could feel his lover’s eyes on his back.

“You don’t get it.” He said. “I love you… more than anything in this world. I just can’t let you pay for the consequences of my choices.”

Her eyes welled up with tears as she realized that this was goodbye again, perhaps a much better one that the first one but just as painful.

“Ben, if you truly loved me, you would’ve chosen me.” Her voice broke.

Ben shut his eyes when he felt her getting out of bed to lock herself in the bathroom. Frustration had begun to fill him. He followed her, pressed his forehead against the door as if he was in pain. There wasn’t much he could really say about his reasons and she would never understand them.

One of Thomas’ men was parked outside the apartment building.

He had seen Ben walk in, and watched as he left.

Thomas wore gym clothes and a baseball cap to blend in as just another city runner.

Ben’s former lover came out of a shop and her face fell when she realized her car had a flat tire. She instinctively looked around, not knowing what to do. But before she could even begin to search for a solution in her mind, a blue-eyed stranger stood behind her.

“Everything okay, Miss?”

She turned around to face him.

“Yeah… it’s just…” She showed him the flat tire with a hand gesture.

“I can help if you have a spare.” The kind stranger said.

“Really?” She asked trying to hide her embarrassment.

“Of course.”

“Oh, god. Thank you so much. Let me open the trunk.”

As the woman got in the car, Thomas gripped the knife he had in his hoodie’s pocket. The same one he had used to stab one of her tires when she went into the shop and no one was looking, while pretending to tie his tennis shoe laces next to the vehicle. When the woman joined him again, he held his hand out and introduced himself with a warm smile.

“Let me buy you breakfast at least.” She said once Thomas had done her the favor.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Please. It’s the least I can do. People are very rude in this town, so you’re like a superhero right now.”

He showed a shy grin and finally nodded.

“There’s a place around the corner.” She said.

After motioning her to lead the way, his smile turned evil.

Thomas’ plan had worked and it was only the beginning.

“You motherfucker!” Ben spat as he violently pulled Thomas by the shirt. “What did you do to her!?”

“I wouldn’t worry about it. She’s in a golden cage.”

“You fucking touch her I will-”

“Oh, Benny, Benny, it’s a little late for that…” Thomas said venomously. “By the way, did she moan your name a lot in bed too, or does she just really love it when I stick my tongue inside her delicious cunt?”

Ben’s blood boiled. He didn’t think twice and punched Thomas in the face without letting go of his shirt. Thomas had an instant nosebleed but chuckled while Ben was an inch away from his face. Thomas turned his head to stare into Ben’s soul and with blood-stained teeth he grinned like the devil.

“My wellbeing is directly proportional to hers, and only I know where she is.” Thomas stated proudly. “You want to kill me? Go ahead. But you’ll never see her again.”

“You’re a fucking piece of shit.” Ben hissed.

“Valentine ’s Day is just around the corner, mate. What’s it going to be? Will you be sending her a bouquet of roses or a funeral wreath?”

Ben finally let go and stood up straight. He stared at Thomas but narrowed his eyes. He suddenly put his hands on his waist and let out a chuckle as he shook his head.

“You fucking liar.” He said. “You’re just trying to mess with my head.”

Thomas remained silent and serious, until a little smile appeared on his lips and doubt invaded Ben.

“What do you want!?” He asked through gritted teeth.

“Well, it’s not that complicated really. I just want my freedom of course.” Thomas said with an innocent shrug.

“I don’t believe you. I kidnapped you, for fuck’s sake, and you set my drugs on fire just because-”

“No. No. Not just because. You were selling your shit on my territory and for every action…” Thomas trailed off.

“Exactly. If I let you walk out of here, you’re going to hurt her.”

Ben paced back and forth, not knowing what to do. He even glanced at his men who looked just as dumbfounded.

“Untie me and give me my phone.”

Ben made a face.

“I’m a man of my word.” Tom swore. “You want to know if she’s all right, don’t you?”

A couple minutes later, Thomas was handed his phone and he used the one hand they had untied to dial a number. Ben pulled out his gun, aimed at him and cocked it.

“No funny business or I’ll put a bullet in your brain.”

Thomas rolled his eyes. Ben listened as he greeted one of his men and asked him to put his ex-girlfriend on the phone. He put it on speaker. Ben’s heart was racing while waiting to hear her voice.

“Hello?”

It almost leaped out of his chest when he recognized it. Ben wanted to snatch the phone away. He was dying to ask her if she was okay.

“Hello?” She waited on the other line but the phone was taken from her.

“Sir?” Thomas’ man said.

Thomas looked Ben in the eye while uttering his next words.

“If I don’t come home tonight, kill her.”

Thomas hung up and Ben instinctively got closer until the barrel of his gun was pressed against his enemy’s forehead.

“You fucking-”

“You have no choice, Benjamin. We’re playing my bloody game now. So you’re going to untie me and never show your face around here ever again because this town isn’t big enough for the two of us.” Thomas threatened.

Ben was seeing red, nothing but fire coursed through his veins.

“You do your part,” Thomas carried on, “and I promise you she will be fine.”

Ben realized he had lost. He had to swallow his pride, felt like he would choke on it, and clenched his jaw as he lowered the gun defeated.

“I want proof of it.” He demanded.

“As soon as you send me your new address.”

“And if you lay one finger on her...”

Ben glared at him in silence for several seconds until he glanced at his men over his shoulder and motioned with his head.

“Untie him.”

Ben crossed the snowy driveway of his cabin to reach the mailbox.

He had done as he had been told and was staying at a secluded place far away from Thomas’ kingdom. He planned to lay low for a while and until he figured out his next move. Ben had been anxiously waiting for Thomas to keep his part of the deal. Otherwise, he’d go back without a care and start a war. He’d do anything for her. But after three days of desperately checking the mailbox in vain, he finally received a small package.

Ben opened it in a rush and pulled out a VHS tape and a note he immediately read.

I’m a man of my word.

-T.

Ben stared at the VHS tape and sighed with frustration. Of course Thomas was going to give him a hard time even from a considerable distance.

“Old school cocksucker.” He muttered under his breath.

After a long drive downtown to visit an electronics store, Ben returned with a VCR so he could play the tape. It had cost him a fortune for being an almost obsolete device. He plugged it to the TV in his cabin living room and popped the tape in. There was nothing but static for almost a complete minute and then it brusquely blended into a clear image of a luxurious bedroom.

Ben got closer to the TV, even knelt in front of it as soon as he recognized his former girlfriend sitting on the bed wearing a blindfold. Ben’s stomach clenched as he feared the worst, but she showed no bruises on her body and she was wearing a dress. The camera seemed to have been hidden on a surface a few feet away from the bed. All of a sudden, Thomas walked in wearing a suit and stood in front of her. He was holding a small box.

Ben’s heart was racing.

“You can take it off.” Thomas said before opening the box. “Happy Valentine’s Day, love.”

Ben’s ex-girlfriend stared at the diamond necklace inside the box and her mouth fell open. She got off the bed to get a closer look and Ben watched as she turned around for Thomas to help her put it on. When she turned back around, she crashed her lips against his.

“I love it. Thank you.” She said excitedly between lip brushes.

Thomas put his right hand on the back of her head and his fingers got lost in her hair as he pulled her in for a very passionate kiss. She pushed his jacket down his shoulders. Thomas was armed and Ben thought he was having a nightmare. But it got much worse when they toppled onto the bed and Thomas began to touch and kiss every inch of her and she threw her head back with pleasure. He groped her breasts as he slid down and pulled up her skirt. Thomas hummed with pleasure when he realized she wore no underwear.

He buried his face between her thighs, and she squirmed with pleasure as she moaned his name.

Ben gripped the remote in his right hand and stopped the video. He got up and started to pace like a caged lion and ran his fingers through his hair as his whole world came crashing down. He was nauseous and a million thoughts were rushing through his head. He didn’t want to keep on watching, he felt like it would drive him insane, but Thomas had a gun in his waistband. What if he hadn’t kept his word and had hurt her instead?

With both anger and fear making his hands tremble, Ben had to press play again.

Thomas lifted his head after a while to see her on the verge of an orgasm, but she groaned when he stopped.

“Tell me what you want.” He murmured.

“I want you to fuck me.”

“You want my cock inside of you?”

“Yes.” She breathed out as he pulled Thomas by the shirt so he’d get on top of her. She reached for the gun. Ben’s heartbeat stuttered but she just deepened the kiss as she left the weapon on the bed, right next to them. Thomas began to unzip his pants. He flipped her on the mattress to penetrate her from behind.

“You fuck.” Ben whispered then screamed. “YOU FUCK!”

He got up, threw the remote across the room which crashed against the wall and exploded into a million pieces.

“SON OF A BITCH! I’M GOING TO KILL YOU, MOTHERFUCKER!”

Rage was pouring out of his every pore. Ben had sacrificed his love for her to keep her away from any possible danger, and yet, Thomas had waltzed into her life and she looked far from afraid of the gun holstered in his waistband. Maybe it even turned her on. Ben finally understood that she knew who he was and what he did for a living and didn’t care.

Was she in love with him?

Ben was sure that Thomas was just using her against him but she had no clue and was enjoying herself which made his stomach turn.

“God, I love you.” Thomas growled as he deepened his thrusts. “Do you love me, baby?” He grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled it. “Do you love my cock?”

“I fucking love it. I love you, Thomas. Please.” She moaned out of breath. “Go faster.”

He gripped her hips tighter and granted her wish before looking into the camera.

Ben shivered. He felt watched. He felt played, mocked, even emasculated. His eyes welled up with tears of anger.

Thomas showed the most evil of smiles right before throwing his head back and succumbing to the pleasure of her walls clenching around him as she came for him. Thomas was panting as he felt his orgasm getting closer and closer.

All Ben could do was watch as the man he hated poured himself into the love of his life, and he tortured himself wondering whether this all could’ve been avoided if only he had been truthful with her, or if it was just his cruel fate.

About one thing he was absolutely positive; now more than ever, Ben wanted to watch Thomas die.

Slowly.

Gruesomely. 

[stirpicus]

I'm sorry for what I'm going to ask, I know you're already annoyed with the question I ask because of what I've read, but have you thought about doing Minecraft story mode again? This is what really made you put your name on the internet, yes, you get back in, you will really make people happy, you will be a little more recognized for what you do. I know it is difficult to reunite your entire team, and what is committed that is. Many people loved the video game and are still waiting for it to come back, we have more than half a century. I'm sorry that not many people paid attention to the game, you should have included something else at the beginning, that identifies the Minecraft game, like perhaps the characters Alex or Steve at least telling that they once existed in your history, most of those who play Minecraft are children, and they expected to find that. Your video game was played by several important Spanish-speaking YouTubers of Minecraft Vegetta777 and Rubius the largest in Spanish .I bet that if you manage to revive this project you will be even more known for doing what you do. Maybe the best YT will play again, and bring a lot of people who want to play it. Sometimes it's good to look back

Okay so something really important to remember is that I don’t own or control MCSM in any way shape or form and it’s definitely not “my” video game. I’m one of like 150 people that worked on it, and even though I was the lead writer for 8 of the 13 episodes, I don’t have any legal control or influence on it whatsoever. I don’t get to decide to “bring it back” or what happens to it now, and whether it’s popular or not doesn’t impact me or my life in the slightest - I already got all the money from my employer as a monthly paycheck when I was making it.

I’m touched that you care so much about MCSM and am glad that it brought you joy, but I am unfortunately not the person to talk to if you want it to come back. That would be whoever the big business people are at Mojang.