#I should be doing my stem presentation script

[lattedusks-mochadawns]

GAY PEOPLE!!!

[jujumin-translates]

Tsuzuru Minagi | [SSR] Dazzling Memory | A Flower Crown for You - Part 3

*Flashback*

Tsuzuru: …Done!

Mizuno: A dandelion flower crown…?

Mizuno: Is it another present for your brother?

Tsuzuru: No. It’s for you, Mizuno. …Here.

Mizuno: Wah… F-For me…!?

Tsuzuru: It’s a thank you for helping me make dandelion bouquets!

Mizuno: Tsuzuru-kun… Thanks. I’ll cherish it forever and ever.

*Flashback end*

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Tsuzuru: …I remember making flower crowns like that.

Mizuno: I can still remember it so clearly.

Mizuno: I didn’t think it was for me, so I was really happy to get it.

Mizuno: I only regret that I didn’t know how to preserve fresh flower crowns back then.

Tsuzuru: There’s only so much you can preserve, y’know.

Mizuno: That’s not true. I would definitely have made dried flowers if it happened now…

Tsuzuru: You don’t have to do that, I can just make you a flower crown…

Tsuzuru: …Got it. Mizuno, are you free after this?

Mizuno: Yes. I've done what I’ve needed to get done today…

Tsuzuru: …Then do you want to go make one now? A flower crown, that is.

Mizuno: Eh…

Tsuzuru: Well, I guess it’s kinda childish, huh.

Mizuno: No, not at all! I’d love to join you!

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Tsuzuru: This place is the same as it’s always been.

Mizuno: Yeah.

Tsuzuru: Alright, time to get started on this flower crown.

Mizuno: I’ll help pick the dandelions!

Tsuzuru: With this many blooming, we could make as many as we want.

Mizuno: There were dandelions all over the place like this back then too.

Tsuzuru: Yeah. It’s kinda nostalgic.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Tsuzuru: …Alright, we’ve gathered a decent amount of them. Should be enough to make a flower crown.

Tsuzuru: ‘Kay, time to get started.

Tsuzuru: I think I remember twisting the stems like this… Even though it’s been so long, I still somehow remember.

Mizuno: You used to make them just as skillfully.

Tsuzuru: It’s not that I was skillful, I just made a lot of things for my brothers…

Mizuno: You really are both a good big brother and a good little brother, Tsuzuru-kun.

Tsuzuru: It’s kinda weird when you put it like that…

Tsuzuru: Right. I had everyone in Spring Troupe watch the video you sent the other day. They all said it was really interesting.

Tsuzuru: It was all thanks to you working on the script with me, Mizuno.

Mizuno: That’s… Incredible!

Mizuno: It was really like a dream come true for us to come up with a story together, and I had a lot of fun too.

Tsuzuru: I see, then I’m glad.

Tsuzuru: You know, if you ever need any help again, you can count on me, y’know? …Because we’re friends.

Mizuno: …Ah, …Right.

Tsuzuru: …Here, your flower crown is done.

Mizuno: Thank you so much! It’ll be another heirloom!

Tsuzuru: That’s a bit of an overreaction.

[ ⇠ Previous Part ]

[muzzlemouths]

Use this ask to talk about any ideas you have, either an AU or a personal proyect :D

ARE YOU SURE? ARE YOU SURE????

Let me introduce you to a little concept called Red Giant au…

I'm choosing to talk about this AU because it'll never actually see the light of day. Mostly because I already have a whole list of other AUs I really need to be tending to before introducing another, but also because this specific AU is…well, it's mean.

If you've been following me for a while (or have read even one of my stories) you should know by now that I'm a sucker for plots that center around Sun and Moon's (irrevocably bonded) relationship. No matter the hardship at hand they always somehow find their way back to each other and sweep their differences under the rug for another day, because at the end of that day, all they really have is each other. It's a hopeful narrative. A patient and kind-hearted story.

This is not that kind of story.

Red Giant AU is the culmination of brainworms that stemmed from one single thought.... What if they didn't become Eclipse in Ruin?

What if, against all odds, this hardship was the one to break the camel's back. All those years, forced out of their element and shoved into another, the conflicts it brings about, the new stage they're presented with which take their arguments off-script, the back-and-forth of who is right and who is wrong, the crumbs swept under that rug stack higher and higher, and eventually, someone is going to trip.

Sun has a right to be tired, doesn't he? Even the hero deserves a break from the villain, a chance to breathe, to know for certain that he's in the right without having to constantly fight for it. Wouldn't you get tired of cleaning up someone else's mess? Every day? For years? Wouldn't you miss how things were before everything changed? Wouldn't you be looking for something — someone to blame?

And maybe Ruin is his final plea. Maybe it's the last olive branch that he extends in a desperate attempt to convince Moon that this, too, can be salvaged. But Moon is (rightfully) bitter, and he intends to show Sun a taste of his own medicine. Locked away without any say in the matter. No more Sun, no light, only night.

This does nothing but stir up the dust beneath that rug. It rips the band-aid off and reopens old wounds until both parties are speaking with tongues that cut even deeper. It isn't too late, of course. This relationship can still be saved, Sun thinks, if they're whole again. If someone, anyone, would come along and reset them so they could start over and have a fresh start —

But what if nobody ever comes? The plex has been closed for some time now, after all, and they have no reason to believe anyone will be stepping foot in this dilapidated building ever again. His hope surrounding this idea dwindles by the day until finally, at last, something snaps.

Someone tosses a rock through the daycare window, maybe. Debris shifts at just the right angle. A stream of light pierces the darkness, and he takes the opportunity for what it's worth, fighting, fighting, fighting until uneven feet stumble into its warm embrace and he finds enough control there to make a decision that is tangible.

The daycare will remain trapped in night indefinitely, that is true and fact and certain, but the outside? Oh, the outside is bright and full of opportunity. He's carving a path up to that window without giving himself the time to think about it. Hesitation is what got him into this mess, now there is only commitment, and that decision means tuning out Moon's every shriek and shrill, even as he reaches the sill, even as wires are further ripped from their core as he shoves himself through remaining glass.

Do you know what a red giant is? It's a phase that occurs after a sudden, drastic change. Specifically, when the sun begins to die.

This puts something of a deadline on their body. They become a walking timebomb of gears and frayed wires, out in the open world for the very first time, and things are made all the more difficult in that Sun's mental state has frayed beyond repair. Now it's his turn to cause a mess. It's his turn to play the villain. Whatever it takes to carve a new life for them out of the debris they left behind, even if it means doing so with his bare hands.

Even if it means shutting out Moon completely.

After all, why waste any further time arguing when he's finally learned how to put a wall between them? Things will go much smoother now that he's figured out where that handy little mute button is.

But eventually the day must end and the night arrives, and with it, Moon is given a few spare hours to stretch his legs and, eventually, teach himself to do the one thing that Sun has been managing alone all these years...how to put the pieces back together.

drops some art into your hands

side notes:

Sun becomes 'redder' the further he snaps and the longer he shuts Moon out. It's already spread to his chest by the time Moon finds and recruits some help.

Both of their faces are fucked Ruin style, but — either due to the red giant "virus" or his own denial — he's unable to see it in his own face. Looking into a mirror only draws forth an error screen.

While obviously built off of the Ruin DLC and some What Ifs, I have to admit the AU is also heavily influenced by the song You're Not Welcome

Despite not having any (current) plans to write this AU I'd still love to talk about it! If you have any questions my askbox is OPEN 👋

[these-written-reveries]

➡ Mutuals, followers, and anyone else with a sense of humanity, please read this! Especially if you've been avoiding what's been happening in Palestine! This is partially me expressing my thoughts/feelings, but I do have a good point and helpful links at the end!

I have to say I am so heartbroken and disappointed to see people here actively choosing to engage in their own privilege and turning a blind eye to this tragedy. Apparently even boosting posts by reblogging is too much?

And of course, many of these people are white and have never experienced the world outside of their own white privilege and individualistic mindset (which stems directly from white supremacy/capitalism), so the thought of having to break out of that and feel uncomfortable for the sake of trying to help other people that aren't like them is like asking them to cut off their fucking arm. Meanwhile, people of color across the world have been doing so much to try to push for change, even though it was the white powers of the world who started this mess and are continuing to support it. If anything, as white people, we have an even stronger responsibility to clean up the mess our ancestors started. ESPECIALLY when our corrupt white leaders refuse to stand up and do the right thing. It is unfortunate and unfair that the responsibility lands on us everyday people to try to stop a literal genocide, but it is the reality of our present times. And we must do the right thing!

Because what happens if we all don't contribute to this? What happens if this movement for change fizzles out bc people decide to turn away from it bc it's hard/uncomfortable/scary? Well, not only will Palestinians be potentially wiped out of existence, but our world as we know it will stand no chance at ever changing. If we don't come together as humans and form community (locally & internationally), if we don't stand by our fellow siblings from other parts of the world and fight for their lives/freedom, change will never happen. And we need change, on so many levels. Do you guys really think this doesn't affect you? It affects ALL OF US. If not now, then it will later. If we can't even come together against a genocide of people, how are we ever gonna be able to stand together for any other movement of change?

This is OUR responsibility, as humans, as people. Many of our world leaders and people in power lack humanity, but that doesn't mean we don't. Right? Please prove me right here. Because seeing some of my mutuals agreeing with posts about people saying "you don't have to engage in what's going on or try to help if it makes you uncomfy, guys 🥺" is so disheartening. And let me be clear, I am not encouraging you to doomscroll all day and throw away your personal lives and cause yourselves to mentally spiral and burn yourselves out (possibly even more than you already are). What each of us is capable of doing to help this movement is gonna look different, depending on the person. But doing something is better than nothing at all. And yes, if you have any empathy in your hearts, you are going to feel pain and heartache and rage over what is happening in Palestine. Good! Use those feelings to continue to push for change! Let's actually make good use of our humanity and our privilege!

Here are some small, but impactful ways to help:

BOOST POSTS (don't just like them, reblog! This helps more than you think it does, even if you don't have many followers! It's about making noise and not allowing social media to suppress our voices!) Tag them with things such as #palestine #free palestine #gaza #free gaza

Contact your representatives/government! (The US and Europe sites provided will write an automatic script for you, but you can also find a pre-written script for your country here if you don't know where to begin with writing your own!)

United States (At the end of the script, you should add something along the lines of "If you do not stand with Palestine and vote to stop funding Israel, I will not be voting for you next election.")

Europe (click on your country at the top of the page and it'll tell you who your representatives are, how to reach them, and provide a script that you can copy and paste!)

Australia

Canada

3. Take part in the BDS movement by choosing not to support as many brands on this list as you can!

4. Donate (free option included!)

Click the button on this site (can be done once every 24 hours) and you will be helping to donate to Palestinians for free! Every click takes money from the sponsors who support this cause and gives it to Palestinians. (I plan on setting an alarm every day to remind me to press this button, and I suggest you do too!)

If you have money to spare for this cause, donate to the Palestine Children's Relief Fund!

5. Finally, learn what you can, even in small doses! This guide gives great info on the past/present regarding Palestine and provides lots of sources! This is perfect if you're interested in learning more, but don't know where to begin.

Bottom line: it doesn't take a whole lot of effort to take action and contribute to this movement. Small action is still action and -with enough of it- can lead to big change! The hardest part is working to unwind/unlearn/recognize our individualistic mindsets and our privilege and choosing to do and be better! Change is only possible if we all do our part to make it happen. So let's make it happen! ❤️

[fantasyinvader]

I think there's something to how Houses deals with trauma that bears discussing. It's not just that a character's trauma serves as a justification for their actions, more an explanation, but there also seems to be something about how dealing with other peoples' trauma is addressed.

There's Edelgard's trauma, and the implications that it's been used to manipulate her into rejecting the teachings of the Church and starting a war by her abusers. There's Dimitri's trauma dealing with Duscur and the injustices he's seen. Claude's trauma stems from being othered his entire life and Fodlan not being the enlightened land he hoped it was, with killing his brother added to Hopes to push him over the edge.

But the game doesn't present their actions in a good light. Edelgard is still the villain while Dimitri, while seen as a folk hero for his actions, is suicidal while Claude's prejudice lead to the collapse of the Alliance if left unchecked. Ferdinand says this following the Gronder battle, with extra dialogue added for Verdant Wind.

Ferdinand: Dimitri, the late prince of Faerghus. He despised the Empire with all his heart. He should not have tried leading an army while his emotions were holding him captive. (Byleth's responses are "leaders are people too" and "Leaders can't be emotional?") No. If a leader's emotions overcome them, others must step in to prevent poor decision-making. Why did his followers not intervene? His attendants? I used to call Edelgard my leader, and now she is running amok. I am duty-bound to stop her.

It really calls to mind that the people around the leaders need to challenge the leaders on their decisions, not blindly follow. It was people that blindly followed Dimitri in his emotional state that led to the fall of the Kingdom, with Ferdinand's comment putting Edelgard on the same level. And when you think about the recruitment mechanics, how characters will abandon their countries and leaders to follow Byleth, recruiting characters could be seen as an extension of that. Conversely, look at how unrecruited characters act fighting Byleth. In most routes, it upsets them whereas in Safflower they're angry at Byleth for joining Edelgard. They're calling out Byleth's decision and try to stop them.

But going back to the recruitment of the other characters, with the Black Eagles's they can't bring themselves to support Edelgard after the events of White Clouds so they leave the country, the Kingdom has no clear leadership in Azure Moon so they end up joining with the Church's resistance forces, while Claude's dislike of the Church has him attempting to remain neutral in light of what the Empire has done which includes recently starting to attack the Alliance. So while they all can abandon their countries, the reasons for doing so are understandable. Especially when staying with their countries and following their leaders results in their deaths at Gronder or becoming villains themselves. Golden Wildfire shows that Claude is not exempt from this, while I think the game was trying to make Dimitri continuing the war to punish the Empire after Azure Gleam was meant to be his failing.

The lords don't need enabling. Dimitri needed to be confronted on his beliefs that people died for him rather than for what they believed in, and how Dimitri needs to live for himself rather than living for the dead. Claude needed to work with those he hated and blamed Fodlan's issues on, letting go of his misconceptions and truly getting to know them in the process. Edelgard's issues makes it so that she only listens to and empowers those who support her, viewing everyone who doesn't bend the knee to her as an enemy while turning her head away from the reality she doesn't want to see. It's You can't help Edelgard because of it, it's why her path is meant to represent the opposite of enlightenment in the Japanese script, the best thing you can do is stop her. Just going along with the lord isn't going to help them, just look at Shez, instead they need to be confronted on their various levels of shittiness.

And there's just something to this I can't help but feel is rooted in the Japanese mindset. The stories you hear about how employees have to work to make their bosses and companies look good, adhering to the hierarchy in place and treating those above you with differance in spite of their shortcomings. Or just how the generational gap is really bad there because the young are expected to follow their elders despite the elders mistakes, a reason why there's a slew of media like Gundam about entrusting the future to the next generation. This feels rooted in the Silver Snow route, where Edelgard is the pawn of some really old fucks, but then there's Azure Moon and Verdant Wind, showing how helping other rather than leaving them to deal with their problems themselves (another staple of Japanese society and a barrier to getting mental help) can help them improve not just as a leader but as a person as well. Both these are messages people in the West tend to believe are universal.

So, yeah. This was just something that popped into my mind when I wanted to explore the effects of trauma on each lord and how it can turn them into a monster, in addition to how others can stop them from doing so or accelerate the process.

[pico-digital-studios]

Into, Across and Beyond! Scripting: A Special Theory

In the space surrounding the multiverse, EV!Sonic, alongside Grace and an alternate version of Nitro, were looking at the various dimensions, one of which had a red mist surrounding it.

Grace: What universe is that one?

Lone Guardian Nitro: Of all the dimensions I've seen in my years, I do know this; that's the ORIGINAL universe, the one from which all those other Sonic realms stemmed from.

Grace: The Earth-Prime Theory... I never thought I'd actually see that in person. There's a theory that, if the prime universe of one franchise is wiped out, the universes stemming from it would outright decay. And if a universe is directly linked to it, undoing the events that made it would cause it to outright cease to exist.

LG!Nitro: But if that's the case, then the Shatterverse wouldn't be about, and yet it still is, despite that universe's Sonic stopping things from escalating.

EV!Sonic gazed at the Prime universe (Dimension PRIME-1991), taking in what he learned from Tekno when meeting her for the first time.

EV!Sonic: Tekno told me about this. The very universe she once helped when the Eggman there tried to really derail stuff by hiring all those guys from the various dimensions to help him stamp out the original me.

Speaking of that, the three spotted Sonic Prime and Shadow Prime floating through the cosmic void of space.

EV!Sonic: There's the guy!

Over where they were...

Sonic Prime / Modern Sonic: I thought the Shatterverse was pretty massive, but to think there are so many different universes like ours is just... awesome! Well, also terrifying, but still awesome!

Shadow Prime / Modern Shadow: Focus, Sonic! We don't have time for sight-seeing. Eggman's around here somewhere, and if he or those blood-crying freaks get their hands on the Paradox Prism, there's a big chance all of this could be erased from existence.

Modern Sonic: Right, right! Sorry. So... where exactly do we find him?

Modern Shadow: Through those links connecting the realms. It should take us straight there!

Back on the ground...

EV!Sonic: And Shadow too! Seems like that rivalry hasn't died down, heh.

Grace: You think he also had to deal with that, er, Toxinfect creep?

EV!Sonic: I doubt it. The original Sonic's barely kept down by anything, not even toxicity.

LG!Nitro: I mean, he did neutralise a god that destroyed the universe in the past, present AND future.

EV!Sonic: Quite a few Sonics have, as a matter of fact!

Grace turned to LG!Nitro.

Grace: So, how are you coping with being one of those on hand to help keep the whole multiverse safe?

LG!Nitro: It's pretty tough, all in all, but the friends I made along the way have been more than worth it in the end. My original counterpart, Neo and Nerila, you guys... That's what keeps me going!

Grace: Heh, glad to hear it!

EV!Sonic: I'm sorry your life hadn't gone the way you hoped it would, Nitro.

LG!Nitro: It's alright. But thanks for your support either way, you two.

Grace: Heh, don't mention it!

EV!Sonic: Well, should we be heading back? You two must have big plans at the moment.

LG!Nitro: You know it. Well, see you around!

The group departed.

Footnote:

The cameo of the original Sonic and Shadow is actually tied to an upcoming animation project @mcgamejolter is going to be working on. I can't spoil any of it here, but I do implore that you keep an eye out!

[the-official-account]

Massive spoilers but I felt like when Gwen's dad was a split second from freaking out and shooting her, they weren't trying to say positive things about cops. Just because Gwen (a deeply flawed character who in this scene is trying to reconcile with the father she was so terrified of she spent months in other dimension) says something about him being a good cop (in the same scene where they do reconcile after he quits the force) doesn't mean the script is written in support of cops. And when Mr.Morales expresses his regret early in the movie that he feels like people are going to hate him whether he does his job the right way or the wrong way, it doesn't mean that this is in support of cops.

All of these characters are going through various internal conflicts with the presence of cops in their lives, and the plot centers around whether or not these characters stay cops, and die because of it, or whether they chose to break the cycle of violence on both the receiving and perpetuating side. 42!miles falling into violent crime is on the other side of this, independent instead of institutional violence, and everyone is dealing with various ways this violence can manifest. Miguel is another.

This conflict isn't resolved. In my opinion, spiderverse has set up to say a lot on themes of institutional violence, cops, vigilantism, cycles of trauma, and our expectations of other people to sit tight and passively endure the harm they face (especially if we have already faced it) None of these things have yet been resolved, because they're all deeply tied to the central plot.

Calling the movie copaganda feels like ignoring a lot of the context wherein these topics are addressed. It's good to be skeptical, and good to be wary, good to make sure we are recognizing when copaganda does exist and pointing it out to eachother. But I have to sincerely disagree they a character saying "you're a good cop" is alone enough to make the movie copaganda, there is so much more going on. And many of the staples of copaganda, platforming cops as they express their disgust or disappointment in protests, tending to associate brown people alone or especially in particular ethnic groupings with needless violence, encouraging us to view cops as a primary social safety net (when so much of this movie is about their inability to help in what matters) etc. Aren't present in the spiderverse.

I'd argue the reverse of what you mentioned: In the real world, cops can be good fathers, have good families, make a fuck ton of lemon bars for the PTA. In the real world, cops have daughters who think they're "good cops". In the real world, there are no good cops even after being harmed by them (the DV stats) Spiderverse has done nothing but reflect that. And showing that cops (which are inherently bad) can otherwise be good people, is necessary to learn and acknowledge that we want to have more tools to fight copaganda in the future.

Miles dad, specifically, has both a history of crime & state sanctioned violence. He's trying to find a balance, where before, joining the force seemed like the only path to redemption available for him. It's important that we have a place in our politics, and the analysis stemming from it, for people who have previously fucked up. If we think "everyone who was ever a cop is inherently, forever evil and deserves X punishment regardless of future actions" we are actively motivating our political enemies to double down, because there's no other place for them to go. However, I find myself fascinated with the question what can or should these people do, after realizing they've been in the wrong? Obviously they aren't entitled to forgiveness, but there's a large span of living between forgiveness and death.

I hope spiderverse will continue approaching this question as it seems to be doing now. And I'm interested in this as an ongoing question. But yeah, copaganda is a strong word

i think the main thing that pisses me off about people refusing to acknowledge the copaganda in across the spiderverse is that they believe all the cops featured in the story are shining examples of how cops “should be.” i.e., family men who are supportive of their kids and want to make a difference in the world. like, genuine question: do you think the REAL cops who brutalize civilians at protests not have nuclear families at home, don’t go to parent teacher conferences, don’t love and support their teenage daughters, etc? or do you believe the requirement for becoming a cop means having a loveless lonely life akin to that of ebenezer scrooge

[mez-rperez]

Data Visualization Fellowship Final Presentations

Data Visualization Week 11

On Monday, August 14, we presented our summers' work with the broader UM community! Everyone did a great job presenting, and I just wanted to share my slides and notes from this presentation.

Putting together the story of my project was surprisingly tricky, even though we were given a good set of guidelines on what we should include. I got most hung up on if I was properly motivating my reason for looking at this data/area to begin with, but you can only do so much with 10 minutes! I will say that I did have an article published today that is also about this topic, that does a way better job of motivating my work than I do in my script. So if you want a fuller picture, check it out!

Anyway, I am adding my script and the slides below in case you wanted to see how I summed up my project work over the summer! Thank you to Justin and Tal, the incredible mentors for this project, and to Sienna, Maggie, Dominique, Brittany, Michelle, and Alex, my cohort mates, for this wonderful experience!

Data Visualization Fellowship - Final Slides and Script

Article: “¡FUERA SPACEX!”: IMAGINING NEW STEM FUTURES IN LATINX COMMUNITIES

[nakedbibi333]

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐩 (𝐮𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝) . . .

⋘ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎… ⋙

Hi everyone! I have been gone for a while, but I'm back now! I wanted to update my post on how to manifest an SP because I don't think I was very detailed back then and I also changed a few of my beliefs. I wanted my posts to reflect those beliefs so I hope you guys enjoy! As always, send me questions in my ask box if you have anything to add/questions

❥ Fall in love with yourself

The 3D is a reflection of your inner reality. What you change inside yourself (in your 4D) must change in the 3D as a result. Since everything and everyone you experience is a product of your internal reality, that means that people will often see you as you see yourself.

If you consider yourself desirable, irresistible, lovable, beautiful, etc., then so will your SP. Treat yourself as you wish everyone else to treat you. Have patience, understanding, and love for yourself, and so will the rest of the world.

This works hand in hand with having a good self-concept. Self-concept is not only about loving yourself or having high self-esteem, but it's a big part. The other part has to do with your beliefs surrounding manifestation and the law of assumption. Things such as believing that you can manifest the life of your dreams have a huge part to play in having a good self-concept. Your beliefs should surround being confident, having high self-esteem, and being the absolute creator/god of your reality with the ability to change and bring about anything you want.

❥ Focus on the ideal version of them

It's easy to get caught up with the version they showed you in the past or even the present. That's just the 3D reflecting past beliefs. If you simply change these beliefs that you had to be more favorable towards the outcome you desire, then it will have to change.

As I've said before, I don't care if they hated you, if you two ended on bad terms, if they've blocked you, or even if they don't know who you are. None of that matters. If you change your beliefs about them internally so that they are in love with you, care about you, are respectful and loyal towards you, and that they don't want to be with anyone other than you, then it must be reflected onto the 3D. It has to happen whether or not they have negative feelings towards you, because the circumstances of the 3D don't matter in the world of the law of assumption. Anything can change drastically by changing your beliefs around the person/situation/etc.

❥ Remove the possibility of failure from your beliefs

Believe that you cannot possibly fail. Condition yourself to be so confident in your abilities and in the law that you won't even worry about things like limiting beliefs, blockages, or failure. It does not exist for you. The 3D must conform once you decide it will.

Everything that is reflected to you in this world has to stem from your 4D beliefs. So, if you don't believe that failure is possible, or that limiting beliefs or blockages exist, then they won't and you will never have to deal with them. This is one of the most important beliefs to cultivate within yourself when beginning your manifestation/loa journey.

❥ Remember that it’s okay to feel stressed and to react to the 3D

Remember that you are still human. Yes, you are the god of your reality, but we are gods living a human experience. You have emotions for a reason. You are meant to feel and express your emotions. Never try to bottle them up or ignore them for the sake of manifestation.

Feeling your emotions will not keep your manifestation from you, it will not delay it, and it will not cause you to fail.

The point is to feel your emotions and get all of it out of you until you feel better, like the weight has lifted. Once you feel better, get back to the new story. Focus as much as you can on the 4D version of your desired reality in any way you see fit (if you want to use methods such as affirming, visualizing, scripting, vaunting, etc., go for it!)

Remember that methods are not necessary as the power comes from within you, not the methods. All you need to do is live in the end and persist in your new story. If you choose to use methods to help you do so, then that's wonderful, but not necessary.)

~ Summary (⺣◡⺣)♡*

ੈ♡˳ Treat yourself the way you desire to be treated, see yourself the way you desire to be seen, and love yourself the way you desire to be loved. Self-concept is key when manifesting an SP.

ੈ♡˳ Do not allow the circumstances of the 3D world to hold you back. It is only a reflection of your inner world/beliefs/story. It is highly malleable and easily changeable.

ੈ♡˳ FOCUS on your ideal reality in the 4D and persist in that story. Act and feel as though it is already manifested.

ੈ♡˳ You CANNOT fail. Remove the belief that you can fail, that you can have limiting beliefs, or that you can have blockages. They don't exist for you.

ੈ♡˳ Don't bury your emotions. Feel them. They cannot hold you back. Only your dominant thoughts and beliefs manifest. Use this to your advantage.

[fdelopera]

An Autistic Perspective on Moon Knight (or, Why Steven Grant is not the only autistic alter)

Sooo Moon Knight really hit me hard. Especially as an autistic person. It hit me so hard, in fact, that it’s brought me back from my Tumblr hiatus. (I haven’t posted since 2018? what???) It was euphoric for me to see an autistic character operate as a superhero within the MCU. Especially Steven. Though Marc and Jake are also autistic — we’ll get to that.

Steven Grant as the audience surrogate wasn’t written as autistic in Jeremy Slater’s original script for the series, but Oscar Isaac took one look at him and basically said, “I’ll relate to this guy more if he’s on the spectrum.” As an autistic person, I actually love that. This choice doesn’t feel exploitative to me, like Rain Man does, for instance; instead, it feels like I’m being seen. I found it meaningful hearing Oscar Isaac say that part of his way into figuring out this role was through delving into a character who happens to be on the spectrum.

I will say that at least to my eye, Oscar Isaac has created a reasonably authentic on-screen portrayal of an autistic character, at least compared to the typical overblown Sheldon Cooper-style of characterization. It is also amazing to see an autistic superhero who is capable, courageous, and strong, even in their most vulnerable moments. Too often, we are portrayed in media as being incapable of having agency within our own lives.

So, in the future, I want to rewatch Moon Knight and analyze the scenes that were particularly impactful for me from the perspective of autistic experience.

But for this post, I want to talk about autism within the context of trauma and mental health. There is an important distinction to be made between Autism Spectrum Disorder and DID in relation to this show, and I haven’t seen a lot of people discussing it in depth.

I am writing this analysis because I believe that an autistic perspective can add some context to certain crucial aspects of this show.

I also want to acknowledge that there is a high degree of co-occurrence between autism and dissociative conditions, including DID. The extreme and constant overwhelm caused by our autistic neurology can lead to dissociative coping mechanisms.

For example, in addition to being autistic, I also depersonalize and derealize, which stems from my sensory processing and social processing issues. Ever since childhood, I dissociate when my nervous system gets too jangled and I’m unable to process the chaos of the world around me.

If Steven Is Autistic, So Are Marc and Jake (and here's why):

I've been seeing a lot of people online celebrating Steven as an autistic character, as in, “Steven Grant is the MCU’s first canonically autistic superhero!” Now, don’t get me wrong, Steven totally is a well-portrayed autistic character; however, I haven’t seen very many people involving Marc and Jake within that discussion of on-screen portrayals of autism.

But if Steven is meant to be on the spectrum, Marc and Jake should be recognized as being on the spectrum as well.

To treat Steven as the only alter who is autistic can inadvertently raise the specter (pun intended) of a harmful and outdated theory on the cause of autism.

So, I want to address two questions: What does (and doesn’t) cause autism? And why are Marc and Jake also on the spectrum if Steven is?

1. Autism Is Epigenetic:

Autism is a genetically inherited neurological variation. It is epigenetic, meaning that there are both genetic and environmental factors that affect each individual’s experience of autism, but you can’t “become” autistic without the genetic factors being present. And if you do have the epigenetic makeup for autism, it is likely that you will have some degree of autistic experience. We still don’t know exactly what this epigenetic makeup is, and I for one hope that we never find out, because Autism $peaks is ready with pitchforks and a eugenics campaign to remove us from humanity as soon as this discovery is made.

Autism’s etiology is not trauma-based. In other words, traumatic experiences can’t “make” someone autistic. However, back in the 1940s, Freudian psychiatrists Bruno Bettelheim and Leo Kanner came up with the “refrigerator mother” theory of autism (they applied it to schizophrenia, as well). They believed that if a mother was neglectful or abusive towards a young child and withheld her love during a critical developmental period, she could cause her child to become autistic. They believed that autistic people could be “cured” of their autism with the right amount of psychoanalysis. These psychiatrists and their disciples subjected countless autistic people to this “treatment” (i.e., torture) for decades.

The "refrigerator mother" theory of autism (and schizophrenia) has since been disproven. The theory was finally rejected in the 1990s when studies of identical twins showed that autism has a high degree of heritability (current research shows that autism’s heritability may be as high as 90%). If you are autistic, the environment (i.e., the people, places, and things around you) will shape your experience of autism, but your environment alone can't “make” you autistic if you don’t have the genetic predisposition for it.

2. If a System Is Autistic, Each Alter Can Have a Unique Experience of Autism:

To frame all of this within the context of Moon Knight, Wendy Spector’s abuse couldn’t “cause” autism within Marc’s system. To put it more bluntly, trauma couldn’t “make” one alter autistic (i.e., Steven), while the rest of the system remained completely allistic.

I know that a lot of you know this; I’ve just seen some troubling posts about this online from people who are neither a system nor autistic, and I needed to say something. Steven isn’t “the MCU’s first canonically autistic superhero” — the system is.

If we describe Steven as autistic, it’s important to acknowledge Marc, Jake, and the other alters within the system as autistic, as well. They would each have their own unique experiences of autism.

Now, there is a whole other discussion to be had about whether the writers and directors of Moon Knight knew this (that’s a big topic for another time). However, my understanding from listening to Oscar Isaac’s interviews and watching his performance is that his intent was to portray the system as neurodivergent, and not just Steven.

As portrayed in the show, Steven seems to do the least amount of masking (i.e., learned behaviors that hide autistic traits in order to protect the individual from harm), which makes him “appear” more autistic to an outside observer.

Within Marc’s portrayal, he seems to have learned to mask more consistently (which would make sense, since he protects Steven physically), and so he behaves in a way that could be interpreted as more allistic. 

EDIT: On further re-watches of Moon Knight, while Marc often protects Steven physically, Steven is more of Marc’s emotional and spiritual protector, as I write about in this post. Marc is more of a trauma holder, and he may mask to keep people at bay to avoid further trauma.

As for Jake, it’s hard to tell his degree of masking, since we see him for only a few brief scenes. But extrapolating from his role as an physical and emotional protector in the system, it’s possible that he has learned to mask quite effectively, as well.

As we grow older, many of us autistics learn to mask quite convincingly, myself included. Masking is exhausting, and I hate it, but for me it is what is necessary to have a job. A few people that I work with know that I’m autistic, but most don’t, and I’m careful about who I tell. It also helps that I run my own business, and so I have some say in the clients that I choose to work with.

In the future, I want to talk about scenes from the series that spoke to me as an autistc person, and I'll include Steven, Marc, and Jake in that analysis. There are so many moments where Oscar Isaac makes character choices that resonate with me from an autistic perspective. But that’s for another time. Anyway, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. :P

[amywritesthings]

SAME OLD MISTAKES: ACT I

THE FAMOUS LAST WORDS SERIES.

gif credit @ pedrorascal

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x Female Reader ( Dieter x You )

Word Count: 3.7K

Summary: A decade ago, you were at the height of your aspiring acting career. Your secret romance and very public feud with Dieter Bravo, however, made you a Hollywood icon.

Warnings: Smut, Porn with Plot, Enemies to Worse Enemies Lovers, Dieter is a total moron, ‘Scripted’ Sex, Protected sex, Dirty talk, Praise kink, Doggy, that Move Javier Pena did in S2 Narcos that has never left my brain

A/N: After many requests, I give you the prequel to Just Old Habits. Spending two months simping over a Judd Apatow character was not on my 2022 Bingo card. 

Next Chapter. | Series Masterlist.

PREVIEW:

“I think it’s important to be on the same page for shit, and this is a Hail Mary for professionalism, so here goes: do you wanna have sex with me?”

You freeze in your sip of your vodka and cranberry, causing a dribble of liquid to fall down the corner of your mouth. 

Dieter springs into action, setting his cigarette into the ashtray on the coffee table to catch the droplet on your chin before it can ruin your off-blue shirt.

“Absolutely not.” You snort, raising your hand to push his thumb away and stopping just before you can make contact. Why are you stopping? 

“I mean—” No. “—kind of?”

What the hell are you saying?

SAME OLD MISTAKES

ACT ONE.

When you come back to Earth after a mind-blowing orgasm, you’re in Dieter Bravo’s lap — half-naked, half-delirious, and absolutely certain you have catastrophically fucked up.

For minutes on end, neither of you say a word. Only the distant sounds of the digital pinball machine jingle and your labored pants are present in his apartment, existing in the bubble of what has happened — and what you can’t take back.

Then Dieter speaks up with a hint of euphoric satisfaction, always aiming to ruin the moment.

“Like I said, babe: just old habits.”

Dieter will never understand how much of a mistake all of this is — 

               A decade’s worth of sneaking around.

               The mountain of deleted texts.

               The years of perceived hatred and rivalry.

— because none of this was ever a mistake to him.

. . . . .

.

.

.

                                        TEN YEARS EARLIER

Dieter Bravo is a fucking idiot.

It only took a singular 10-minute interview to figure it out. 

Between his insistence on wearing sunglasses indoors and his neon green crocs that squeak throughout the entirety of his Vogue interview, it’s hard to pin-point exactly where your disdain for your new co-star stemmed.

Maybe it’s when he misquotes Shakespeare with lines taken directly from Pulp Fiction.

(Y’know, Billy Shakespeare — I call him Billy because I think we would’ve been bros in this life — he once asked: ‘why do we feel it’s necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?’ I felt that shit deep in my soul.)

Absolute. Fucking. Moron.

Meeting him in person for the first time on set is enough to want to claw your eyes out. He’s an entourage of one with an ego spanning across a dozen invisible people. To make matters worse, he wears the same crocs from the Vogue interview, too, like he's trying to bring them back into style.

(Sustainable closets, baby.)

From the get-go it’s painfully obvious he’s thrilled to see you — all grins and grand sweeping gestures of his arms, as if you’ve known each other your whole lives.

Not because you have, but because you, yourself, are predicted to take Hollywood by storm. The newest golden girl destined for an Oscar by season’s end thanks to your new movie, Faith of Eternity.

From what your agent has given you so far, Faith of Eternity is a romantic thriller about Richie Alzone and Ramona Cleese, a couple who should not be together — and oftentimes are not — but continue to find themselves in each other’s orbit. Justine swears it's a real character-driven piece of cinema, with monologues for days.

Ramona Cleese, a thirty-something English lawyer, is not an easy leading role. It will take grit and tears and emotional exhaustion. You’ve skimmed the articles discussing the role, the plot, and the growing fanbase for a movie that hasn’t started filming yet.

It makes your stomach somersault with anxiety.

But Faith on Eternity has award season buzz due to the fact that this love story is electric, passionate, ground-breaking — and if you can sell being in love with Richie Alzone, the mysterious forbidden lover played by none other than Dieter fucking Bravo, then you'll have 'Academy Award Winner' next to your name by next Spring.

Passionate sex scenes. Pushing a hard R-rating. 

All for the glory of art.

And because of this award buzz, Dieter expects you to be game with anything he throws at you.

Scripts? Forget about them. 

Improv? Forget that, too.

Vibes.

“So that’s what I’m about: vibes, just vibes, and nothing but the vibes, so help us God,” he ends up telling you that very same day. “What about you? What’s the new It Girl all about?”

You hate the career-cursing nickname.

“Professionalism,” you manage while he hands you a coffee — the one he’s stolen from a production assistant on his way over here, as if you didn’t see it.

(As if he did the hard work himself.)

“I can dig that,” is all he says, cheers-ing your stolen coffee cup with his. “We’re gonna make magic, babe. You and me. This’ll get two sequels, easy.”

“Two?” you blurt against overzealous predictions.

Dieter just grins. “And that’s being humble.”

His oblivion to the world outside of the Dieter bubble isn’t an act — he genuinely believes what he says and stands by those beliefs. Manifestation in the palm of his hands; he thinks Faith of Eternity is going to be a smash hit not only at the box office but on Rotten Tomatoes.

Hell, he believes he’ll have Twitter swooning.

His ignorant confidence can be infectious. The guy with the neon crocs gets along with everyone — even the production assistant he continuously steals coffee from.

And he commits.

God help him, he commits to the role of Richie Alzone the second the director says ‘action’. 

After the first few days on set, Dieter’s goofy presence disappears and is replaced by the suave, confident, and broodingly sincere persona of Richie. In turn, it pushes you to play Ramona Cleese as sincere and honest as the script allows. 

The roles fit the two of you like a pair of gloves.

And he stands by his commitment to work with you behind the camera when you’re locked in close-ups. In past productions, former co-stars allowed the script supervisors feed lines to get some shut eye. Dieter? He stays put until you get the take you’re excited about — because he’s excited, too.

He’s overjoyed to work with you, to push you, to draw that raw emotion out with every scripted fight and monologue.

And as much as you hate to say it, he’s one of the most electric actors you’ve had a chance to perform against on set.

(You’ll never admit it out loud. It'll only send his ego to Pluto.)

At this point, he’s invited you to his trailer for drinks several times. Three, to be exact, in order to shoot the shit and talk about nothing in particular. Yet considering how charged the set feels after several takes of Dieter in your face when he stares at you with utmost, raw desire — like you are something he cannot have?

Acting or not, it's better to avoid that can of worms. It didn't work for Brangelina. It didn't work for Jen and Ben.

You will not get sucked into the cliché.

The first two attempts were met with excuses — I have to turn in early, I have a phone interview — but the third?

(Fucking rules of three.)

The third time happens to be when you’re passing by his trailer after a ten-hour shoot.

Dieter Bravo bursts from the door just as you’re nearing, a bottle of vodka in one hand and a jug of cranberry juice in the other. He proudly displays both high in the air like he’s won two gold medals. He’s still wearing his evening wear Richie Alzone costume from today’s shoot: a black and white suit, buttoned half-way down his torso to expose his chest and skinny black tie loose around his neck.

“Babe." Christ, he always starts with that stupid pet name. "We gotta celebrate.”

“What’s the occasion?” you bite, crossing your arms over your chest.

Dieter snorts. “We just finished most of Act One, for starters. You killed every scene. I know I looked smoking hot. And tomorrow’s finally here, so — huzzah for the professionals, amiright?”

You open your mouth to ask, but the unspoken reason — the tomorrow — hits you clear in the gut: you’re supposed to shoot the first major sex scene tomorrow.

Right. Shit.

“Oop. I see it.”

You blink back into reality. “See what?”

“That you’re more nervous than me.”

“I didn’t think Dieter Bravo got nervous on set.”

“Around you? I’m terrified.” Dieter tilts his chin to spy over his sunglasses. “A little liquid courage and a chat, methinks, will cure that look. So what do ya say? Pretty please?”

You can’t stand him.

And you appreciate the offer, even if you’ll never tell him.

“One drink,” you warn, raising an index finger high.

The warning only brings a growing smile to Dieter’s face.

“Hell yeah. Only one, babe.”

. . . . . . . . .

It turns into only three.

(The rule of three is haunting you with this shoot.)

Most of the night is taken over by Dieter showing off his art, which is surprisingly good. He’s a damn good actor and an even better artist with books filled to the spine. Charcoal faces, penciled silhouettes, abstracts — he isn’t ashamed to be proud of what he’s done.

“These are kind of amazing,” you murmur, flipping through the third book as he refills the short glasses with the cranberry mixture.

“I appreciate it,” he says, shrugging one shoulder with an addictive nonchalance. In his other hand is a half-lit cigarette. “They keep me occupied. Keep me sane. What’s on your tab, babe, what keeps you sane?”

“Keeps me sane?” you repeat, brows furrowed. “I don’t know, I’m… rehearsing? That works.”

“Uh-huh.” He swipes a hand down his face before holding out a glass for you to take. “So you worry all the time in that trailer. Got it.”

“I'm not worrying in my trailer. Why, do I look worried all the time?”

“Yeah, kinda.” Dieter takes a sip, souring at the bite of the vodka. “Specially because of tomorrow’s thing.”

Right. Tomorrow’s thing. You tilt your chin back taking a gulp of the mixed drink.

“You’re not the—” You sour at the aftertaste of vodka. “—slightest bit nervous?”

“Like I said: terrified, but not in the way you might think.” He pulls a frown. “You’re beyond talented, a total knockout, quick as a fuckin’ whip with improv if the line sucks. I’m not worried at all about you, but me? Gotta stay on my A-game to keep up. Why, are you worried I’m gonna fuck it up?”

You part your lips to respond — I don’t know how to properly do a sex scene with a guy I vehemently hated a six weeks ago — but quickly drop your attention back to your drink and shake your head.

Dieter takes a long drag of his cigarette, the smoke billowing up his nose.

“Alright, then, that leaves me with the heavy hitter.”

“The what?”

“I wanna ask something, babe.”

You snort, mouth lingering on the lip of your glass. “You keep calling me babe.”

“Do I?” he asks, nose scrunching with false sincerity. “I didn’t realize.”

“You’re such a fucking liar.”

“No, I’m an actor. Big difference.” The cigarette dangles between his fingers as he hunches over his thighs, elbows pressed into his pajama bottoms. “But I’m serious about the question. Can I?”

“Something tells me you’re going to ask anyway.”

“I am,” Dieter confirms, sucking a sharp breath. “I think it’s important to be on the same page for shit, and this is a Hail Mary for professionalism, so here goes: do you wanna have sex with me?”

You freeze in your sip of your vodka and cranberry, causing a dribble of liquid to fall down the corner of your mouth. Dieter springs into action, setting his cigarette into the ashtray on the coffee table to catch the droplet on your chin before it can ruin your off-blue shirt.

“For rehearsal, obviously,” he adds. "Like, practice to make it believable and shit."

As if that saves his ass.

You stare, not quite noticing his thumb running along on your chin. “...are you serious?”

“Like, so serious.”

“Absolutely not.” You snort, raising your hand to push his thumb away and stopping just before you can make contact. Why are you stopping? “I mean—” No. “—kind of?”

What the hell are you saying?

Dieter blinks twice. “Okay… you lost me. Was that— when you say ‘kind of’, what would you say is the percentage of—”

You interrupt. “Logistically speaking, let's look at it this way: we’re co-stars.”

“Both of our names are on chairs, so… yeah.”

“That’ll complicate things if we — rehearse.”

(You can’t seriously consider this offer.)

Dieter squints. “Okay, but when I read the end scene in the first act when Ramona and Richie fuck for the first time in years after dancing around their bullshit, I felt it might feel more organic if we already know—”

“Wait, you read the script?”

Your expression drops as you finally remove his thumb from your face, but his hand remains in your lap, connected to yours. 

He nods small, as if sheepish to admit it.

“I could tell it bothered you that I wanted to only act with vibes, so I read it the other night. Three times, actually. Wait —I’ll show you.”

He holds up a finger before pushing from his chair, shuffling around to a cabinet on the far end of the trailer vanity. Pulling the cabinet open, he plucks the script in question from its place and moseys back to his chair.

The script is thicker than yours, bursting with dog ears and color-coded bookmark tabs all along the belly of white pages. Dieter shakes the thick book in the air, mouth souring to a pathetic smile.

“Ta-da.”

Goddamnit. It’s endearing.

You hate it.

Pinching the bridge of your nose, you draw a slow exhale and utter a question you know you cannot take back:

“Do you actually want to sleep with me, or is this a method acting thing?”

Dieter pauses, brows knitting a way that says he’s truly concentrating on what he should say versus what he wants to say. As if words right now are difficult, because no one has written them for him yet.

“I’m gonna kiss you,” he decides, moving a fraction from his chair to hover by yours — it’s a request for permission without asking at all. “I’m gonna kiss you, and you can decide if this is real or if this is a method acting thing. Got it?”

You don’t quite understand what he’s saying, but you can smell the faint scent of vodka on his breath. You wonder if the scent on yours is just as strong.

You open your mouth to reply until you realize he’s been staring at your lips this entire time.

All you offer is a faint nod. That’s all the consent he needs to crowd your space like he’s a drowning man, large hands cupping either side of your face.

He stops just before his lips can reach yours. 

You freeze, searching his face. His eyes are squeezed shut, as if in pain from the proximity. Then he mumbles one word in prayer:

“Ramona.”

The script.

The ill-fated couple’s reunion starts just like this: drinks in hand and quietly sitting by a fireplace after years of neglect, of ignorance. The way he speaks your character’s name is one of undying submission.

He’s a little too good at it.

You remain perfectly still, nose to nose, brain flurrying through pages until it lands on the scene in question.

“What are you waiting for, Rich?” you murmur, lips barely touching his as you ask the scripted line, and you can see him break character for a fraction of a second to smile.

“You,” Dieter recites, nuzzling your nose with his. “Always you.”

The script says Richie goes in for the kiss, but fuck that.

You grab the lopsided tie, bunching the fabric in your fist to close those few precious inches, lips smashing on impact.

Dieter doesn’t falter from the diversion, instead melting against you as he pulls you impossibly closer, kisses frantic and deep and needy.

(Social media has insisted he looks like a damn good kisser. They were right.)

You moan at the sensation of the tip of his tongue swiping your lower lip, wordlessly requesting permission. You open your mouth to accept it, grip tightening on his tie.

As his hands drop, so do his knees. Dieter Bravo kneels in front of you like a sinner in church, fingers settling along the hem of your button-down. He abruptly switches his train of thought, attacking the button of your jeans. 

“I have wanted to eat you out all goddamn day.”

Your brows fly high, hold lessening on his tie as he beckons your hips to help him remove your jeans. You laugh — surprised and hot and nothing like Ramona— and gently place a hand over his.

“That isn’t in the script,” you remind him as he pouts up at you. “And I’m pretty sure Mr. Alzone doesn’t eat pussy.”

“Babe, every character I agree to play eats pussy,” Dieter reassures with utmost sincerity. “I would outright refuse the role if they didn’t.”

“This isn't what you want,” you say, voice wavering in control as you start on the buttons of your shirt to help his original endeavor. “It’s what Richie wants, and he doesn’t eat her out in the first — fuck — the first sex scene.”

“I can suggest rewrites,” he quickly replies, undoing the buttons of his own shirt to fling it clear from his torso and somewhere to the floor. 

Your eyes drop to the array of tattoos on his body — particularly the solid triangle in the middle of his forearm — and lose focus for a moment. He doesn’t skip a beat, yanking off his dress slacks and boxer briefs until your attention drops between his legs.

He’s already hard, deliciously so, and you wonder if those rewrites may actually be a good idea.

“Come here.”

He drags you from your train of thought, unbuttoning the last few notches keeping your shirt together. Everything is too cold and too hot at the same time.

Tongue darting between his lips, Dieter marvels at the lace along your white bra and kneels higher to meet you. Gently he works one breast out of a cup, palming along the swell of it with utmost worship. You can’t help the noise that exits when his mouth closes around your nipple, tongue swirling with eagerness around the raised bud.

“Fuck, Dee—” He flicks his tongue, causing you to jolt with correction. “—Richie.”

He hums in approval, snaking his free hand between the fabric of your jeans and landing the tip of his middle finger against your clit. It’s not enough — somehow you’ve landed in the palm of Dieter’s hand, but you can’t find yourself ashamed of getting here.

It’s just a rehearsal.

It means nothing.

You finally lift your hips for him, wiggling the jeans and panties down your legs. Dieter continues to rub his finger in a circle, following your movements so not to break rhythm like he’s already attuned to your body. It’s experienced. It’s hot.

(Shit — did you just refer to Dieter Bravo as hot?)

What’s even better is the noise he makes, short and keening, when you sink to your knees to meet him on the floor. He drops his fingers from your clit to spin you around.

“All fours,” he says, voice wavering behind you. In the first sex scene, Richie demands Ramona to get on all fours. Yet when Dieter demands it, it’s anything but — it’s a request, pushing on the verge of begging when he kisses down your spine.

You respond because you’re delirious for this game, settling on all fours with your hips arching on display. You hear him mutter a string of curses, fumbling with the foil of a condom. Your fists bunch the shag rug beneath you in anticipation.

Line.

There’s a line here, but you’re not remembering it.

He runs a hand along your hip, tugging you backwards.

“Only gonna do it if you say please,” Dieter reminds you, rewriting what you're forgetting when he runs a thumb along your slit. You shudder, head dropping with the teasing up-and-down motions of the digit.

“Fuck, please,” you request, keeping to your Ramona accent.

Because if you admit you’re begging for it, then you’ll never stop thinking about this.

Slow and cautious, you feel the tip of Dieter nudge along your folds. He groans, loud and filthy when he slides right in without resistance, bottoming out. You whimper, high-pitched in your gasp as the stretch takes over your train of thought.

Dieter hovers over you, running a hand along your back, until he eases back out. “This good for you, baby?” When you nod once, he pushes back in at a new angle. “Not good enough, apparently. I wanna hear it.”

Whether this is in the script or not, you do not know — and quite frankly, cannot care.

“So fucking good,” you respond, white-knuckling against the rug.

From there he is relentless. Pressing his palms into the crease of your hips, he picks up the pace and leaves you a moaning mess underneath him. He mumbles sweet nothings until they border downright debauchery.

“Such a good fucking girl for me,” he moans above, running a hand down the nape of your neck. “Taking this cock so good, look so pretty from up here. God, wanted to do this for weeks—”

At first, you think ‘this’ means fucking you. What ‘this’ ends up being, however, completely catches you off guard.

Mid-thrust, he wraps an arm around your waist and lifts you to kneel in front of him. Your back presses flush against his chest as he relentlessly fucks up into you. One arm keeps you locked in place while the other snakes along your torso to land at your chest where he cups the breast hanging out of your bra.

The new angle gives you plenty of room to reach down, furiously drawing circles around your clit to keep up with the pace.

You won’t last long.

Not when he’s growling in your ear.

“Mine.”

Because Richie is possessive.

Dieter is worshipping.

He repeats your character's name — Ramona — after every few thrusts until stars explode behind your eyelids and he’s not far to follow clear over the edge. One, two, three final thrusts and he slacks, holding both strong arms around your middle so you don’t immediately collapse.

Sweat-slicked and desperate for air, you drop a shaking hand against the coffee table and spill a cup of highlighters across the hardwood floor.

Goddamnit.

God. Damn. It.

Running a hand through your hair, you ignore the peppered kisses across your shoulder and breathe deep for the first time since you arrived at his trailer.

“That — cannot — become a habit.”

You feel Dieter grin against your skin.

“Famous last words."

[cupajoscafe]

Three Strikes, You're Out | Yakuza!AU Shikamaru Nara x OC

HELLO FRIENDS I AM SO EXCITED TO POST ANOTHER FIC FOR YOU I HAVE BEEN WRITING THIS ON AND OFF SINCE SEPTEMBER 2021 AND I FINALLY FINISHED IT LAST NIGHT AAAAAAAAA i'm obsessed with this au okay???? i know it says yakuza but this is kind of a mix between the japanese yakuza and the american/italian mafia, because typically women didn't play prominent roles in the yakuza so i kind of went a little off script with that. i have been,,,,obsessed with this AU since i started thinking about it and my best friend and i have been brainstorming ideas!! this fic actually stems from a lot of the headcanoning we've done together!!! the opening scene is based on a mini comic i drew while we were talking together and if yall want i can post that here too 👀👀👀 i just,,,i love this au so much LMFAO ANYWAYS. I AM. SO EXCITED SO IM GONNA SHUT UP AND GET TO POSTING AHAHAHAHAH I HOPE YALL LIKE IT 💜💜💜 Tagging @whatelsecouldgowrong because I know she's been waiting for this HAHAHHAHH

Pairings: Shikamaru Nara x OC

Word Count: 9.2k

Genre: Yakuza!AU, Smut

Warnings: None

Contents: 18+ MINORS DNI. Oral (m&f receiving), face fucking, dirty talk, creampie. Shikamaru is kind of a dick in this AU because I say so. Entirely self indulgent. No editing, we die like women.

Summary: Shikamaru gets transferred to Naruto's gang, and his right hand woman doesn't take too kindly to their new addition.

The first strike was their very first face to face meeting. He was subjected to a trade; moving from Haruki Yukimura's gang to Naruto Uzumaki's, trading brains for brawn. Haruki needed strength, and Naruto needed intellect. To solidify their relationship in public, he would send over his bodyguard Rock Lee, and she would send over her financial advisor Shikamaru Nara. From the moment she knew about the trade, Yuuna was less than thrilled. She thought it was a stupid idea. They were already a close syndicate, they didn't need to lose man power and have a total stranger join their ranks. She thought it was dangerous and would only cause problems within their gang.

When the trade happened, both gangs were present. Naruto had sent Lee over, and Haruki had sent Shikamaru over.

"To think I'm gonna have to start working with a whole new gang," He groaned, dragging his feet along the hardwood floor of Naruto's office towards him. He reached a hand up to scratch at the back of his head. "Damn, this is gonna be such a drag."

Yuuna's eyebrow twitched. In an instant, she hopped down from her place sitting on the edge of Naruto's desk and she stood in front of Shikamaru so he couldn't progress any further. He stopped in front of her and glared down at the brunette.

"Do you need somethin', Princess?" He inquired, raising an annoyed eyebrow. "'Cause if not, you should get the hell outta my way."

With a glare, she straightened her back and stared up into his narrow mocha eyes.

"It's in your best interest to play nice, Mr. Nara. I know more about you than you think I do." She started, her voice low. "You try and pull any funny business, and I'll have your name, birthday, address, and social security number plastered over every rival gang's territory, you understand me?!"

What started as a low growl in her tone escalated to a firm raising of her voice by the time she finished. Naruto swallowed nervously, shifting slightly so he could move to de-escalate the situation if he needed to. Haruki glared at the woman that threatened her former right hand. She was not impressed. She understood where Yuuna was coming from and appreciated how fiercely loyal she was, but she wouldn't tolerate threats.

Shikamaru, on the other hand, found it intriguing to say the least. Oh, how amusing this little mouse was. He took a drag from his cigarette and pulled it from his lips, then exhaled a cloud of smoke against her face. She coughed and brought her hands up to her face to fan the smoke out of her eyes. He simply smiled at her and leaned in close, pressing his cheek to hers and whispered,

"Is it really a smart idea to be threatening the guy who handles your paycheck?"

The shit eating grin on his face when he pulled back and took a drag from his cigarette made her blood boil.

"C-Cocky bastard--!!" She exclaimed, face hot from his husky voice in her ear, moving to lunge forward to smack that sneer right off of his face.

"Yuuna!!" She heard from behind her. She stopped in her tracks and turned around to see Naruto glaring at her from his desk. "That's enough. Back off."

She gritted her teeth and reluctantly stepped back, looking up at the scarred face that stood in front of her. The smirk that rested on his lips ignited a rage filled flame in her body.

"You heard the man." He said. The mocking tone in his voice nearly made her jump at him again. "Back off, sweetheart."

He took another drag of his cigarette and walked past her, being sure to flash her another condescending smirk as he did so. She stood there and grimaced, her long nails digging into the meat of her palm as she balled her hands into fists.

"I'm sorry about her, Mr. Nara, Miss Yukimura." Naruto stood up from his regal desk chair and bowed an apology to the syndicate head and her former right hand. "I'll be having a very thorough discussion with Miss Misaki when we're done here."

Haruki hesitated for a moment before she spoke. "I think it's best you let her, and anyone else who feels similarly, know that you and I have been working together for quite some time now." She explained, taking a slow step forward towards him. "This is just our first public move."

As she progressed forward, she stopped when she found herself beside the brunette.

"All that dirt you have on him, I also have on you." She whispered firmly, almost menacingly. "Keep that in mind when you decide to smear his info across the city."

Haruki shifted to look at the woman next to her and smirked, then continued on her path towards greeting Naruto with a handshake. Yuuna swallowed and let out a shaky breath as soon as the attention had been shifted from her to the syndicate heads.

"Anyways, before we were so rudely interrupted, I'm sure you'll find Shikamaru to be a valuable asset to your gang." Haruki announced as she walked over to his desk. "His intellect and financial advisory are unrivaled."

Naruto leaned over his desk to extend his scarred right hand out to the smaller woman in front of him. Haruki gave it a firm shake.

"He's been my right hand since day one." She explained. "You'd do well to remember to treat him with the utmost respect."

"Of course. We'll welcome him with open arms." He smiled, placing his left hand over Haruki's as they shook. "I'll be sure that everyone here sees to that."

He shifted his attention to the man beside him and gave a friendly smile.

"Good to have you, Mr. Nara." He extended his hand out to shake. "I'm sure you'll be a valuable asset to us."

Shikamaru paused for a moment and took another drag from his cigarette before giving Naruto's hand a firm shake.

"Getting used to all these new people is gonna be such a pain," He sighed. He shifted his gaze from Naruto over to Yuuna, who was glaring at him from the middle of the room. He couldn't help the smirk that pulled at his lips. "But I'm sure we'll eventually get along just fine."

---

The second strike was when she attempted to expose him for espionage. Since day one, she hadn't been convinced he was a loyal member of their group. So she took it upon herself to keep an eye on Shikamaru in case he tried to sabotage Naruto's position of power. Yuuna had noticed that a few times a week, once Shikamaru was finished with his duties with Naruto, he would take a drive to meet up with Haruki and have dinner. She saw no reason for them to be having these meetings and was convinced that he was relaying top secret information about their business doings to his former employer. With a confident smirk, she carefully made her way back to Naruto's office in a taxi to relay her findings to the boss she respected so much.

What she hadn't expected was to see Shikamaru there when she burst through the doors.

"Hey, Naruto!! I've got somethin' to tell you--" She exclaimed, heels clacking to a dead stop on the ground as she laid eyes on the coal haired advisor standing next to her boss.

"Yuuna. I thought I told you to head home for the night." He inquired, turning his attention from Shikamaru to the woman in front of him. "What's so important you came rushing back here so late at night?"

She stood there gritting her teeth, eyes wide and staring daggers into Shikamaru's skull. Regaining her composure, she turned her attention to the blond man before her.

"Sir, I need you to listen to me." She demanded, stepping forward until she was at the edge of his desk. "Mr. Nara isn't the loyal advisor you think he is."

"What?" Naruto asked, furrowing his brow. Shikamaru scoffed and took a drag from his cigarette.

"I haven't liked him since day fucking one. He's always given me a bad feeling, so I've been watching him carefully to make sure he's not up to anything." She explained, pressing her palms flat on his desk as she leaned forward to address him. "He's been having secret meetings with Miss Yukimura three times a week to discuss our affairs with her. That's top secret information, sir. He's been divulging classified information to your so-called 'colleague'."

She pulled back from his desk and stood up straight, shifting her gaze over to the spy in question and flashing him a triumphant smirk. It faded almost as soon as it came on when she realized that he looked cool as a cucumber and was smirking right back at her.

"Yuuna…" Naruto sighed, scratching the stubble on his cheek. "I know about the meetings."

She whipped her head around to look over at Naruto and her eyes almost popped out of her skull.

"S-Sir…?!"

"They were my idea." He explained, exhaling and sitting down in his chair. He laced his fingers together and looked up at her from his seat. "I thought it would be better if our two syndicates were as transparent as possible with one another, so I arranged for Shikamaru and Haruki to meet and discuss our standings. They strategize about things that will work well with the businesses we already have while also not stealing businesses from her. That way we don't step on each other's toes. He's the go-between from Haruki to me."

She stood there dumbfounded, staring at Naruto as if she'd seen a ghost.

"...So he hasn't been divulging classified information in those meetings then." She squeaked, feeling her face begin to burn up from a mixture of shame and embarrassment.

"No, he hasn't." Naruto leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. "They're both very smart individuals and it's clear they've been nothing but honest with us about their affairs."

She balled her hands into fists, long painted nails digging into the meat of her palms. She shifted uncomfortably in place, heels scraping against the hardwood floor of his office. She grimaced and bit her lip, trembling ever so slightly with agitation. A chuckle erupted from next to her and she shifted her emerald eyes to see Shikamaru's mocha hues staring back at her, glistening with delight as a maniacal grin stretched across his lips. He took a long, almost exaggerated drag of his cigarette, and blew the smoke out of the side of his mouth with a chuckle.

"Well. That's oh-for-two." He sneered, giving her a teasing smirk as he flicked the ashes from his smoke into the ashtray on the desk. "I wonder if Naruto's a baseball kind of guy."

He replaced the cigarette between his lips and began to exit the office at a lazy pace, dragging his feet across the floor with his hands in his trouser pockets. As he did so, he sang quietly under his breath but made sure he was loud enough for Yuuna to hear as he passed her.

"'Cause it's one, two, three strikes you're out at the old ball game."

Without saying anything more he opened the door and walked out of the office, then shut the door behind him. Her blood boiling from the utter humiliation she'd just put herself through, Yuuna let out a frustrated wail and brought her hands up to her head, pulling her hair from her skull.

"That cocky motherfucker!!" She squawked. She ran her hands through her hair and took a moment to collect herself before turning to Naruto, averting his gaze but straightening up to address him. With a deep sigh through her nose, she closed her eyes then finally met his eyes. "...I'm sorry, sir. I made an ass of myself again."

Naruto sighed and scratched the back of his head.

"What the hell am I gonna do with you?" He mumbled, pulling his arm from his neck to drum his fingers along the wood of his desk top.

"I just--..." She started, trailing off after a moment. With another sigh, she closed her eyes and continued. "...I just don't want all of your hard work to be ruined, Naruto. You've built something amazing here and I don't want anyone taking that away from you."

He paused, listening to her words before he spoke. He leaned back in his chair, recalling what Haruki had told him in private on the night of the trade.

That one is fiercely loyal. You'd better be treating her well.

He drummed his fingers against the wood again and sighed, then then laced his fingers together and looked up at her with furrowed brows and a stern expression.

"Well...nothing really came out of those accusations. And I know your intentions were good." He spoke, his features softening. "So I suppose this time you're off the hook."

She let out the breath that she was holding and sighed with relief. "Thank you, sir. I'll be more careful going forward."

He smiled at her, taking her word. Yuuna was a trustworthy member of his gang, and he knew that if she said she was going to do something, she would absolutely do it. When the air of tension dissipated from between them, his smile grew wider and he chuckled, narrowing his eyes and squinting over at his subordinate.

"Soooo, you and Mr. Nara seem to be getting along well."

She froze in place and her body stiffened, her face flushing red; though this time it wasn't from embarrassment. With a twitch of her eyebrow, she scoffed and whipped around to the side so he couldn't see her blushing.

"Like hell we are." She snapped at him, digging her nails into the flesh of her forearms as she crossed them over her chest. "He's a fucking asshole and the less I get to work with him the better."

Naruto giggled, leaving forward in his chair and resting his chin on top of the back of his hands as they held his head up.

"Oh really?" He prodded, tilting his head to the side. "'Cause that's not what your red-ass face is saying right now."

---

Sometime in between the first two strikes, Shikamaru had found himself in an unfortunate situation. As it turned out, at some point he had caught feelings for her. He wasn't sure if it was the time she asked for a smoke from him when he knew she'd never smoked in her life, or if it was the time he came back to the office plastered after a meeting and she ended up taking care of him throughout the night, or if it was when she was being followed by some delinquents and she called him to help her out and then proceeded to walk her home every day so they wouldn't bother her again. Would he act on those feelings he ended up with? No, of course not. She hated him, after all. At least that's what she was trying to make him think; he could see through her act and knew it was all for show, but he played along for her sake. He recognized the tension between them when they were alone together and it only made it worse. He was constantly pushing those feelings back; he had a job to do as Naruto's right hand, and no woman, no matter how attractive or how confident, was going to stop him from that.

But he was waiting. Waiting for Yuuna to slip up again, to accuse him of a lie, or to corner him with "proof" that he was planning something again. Because this time, he wasn't letting her off the hook. This time, it would be her third strike.

He had offered to stay at the office late tonight, going through paperwork and documents to sort out what needed to be discarded and what needed to be transferred to receipts. He sat back in Naruto's desk chair and flicked the ashes from his cigarette into the ashtray on the desk, sighing deeply and scratching the top of his head.

"Man, maybe I should have gone home when he offered, this is such a drag." He grumbled to himself. He pushed the chair back and stood up, stretching his arms above his head with a yawn. He crossed them over his chest as he looked down at the paperwork scattered around the desk. "Maybe I'll call it for the night."

He began to pull all the papers together and replace them in the file folders they were organized in, save for one sheet that he needed to take home to look over more. He sighed as he pulled open the filing cabinet beside the desk, replacing the folders to the alphabetical places they belonged.

Suddenly, there was a click of the doorknob turning. He hadn't been expecting anyone to still be in the office so late, so the sudden noise made him jump a little as he whipped his head up to look at the door. And he was absolutely delighted when he saw who entered the room.

"Hey, Naruto? Sorry, I know it's late, but I came to ask you someth--"

Yuuna stopped dead in her tracks when she entered the office and saw Shikamaru behind her boss's desk. Her gaze flicked to the opened filing cabinet and the loose sheet of paper on the desk.

"You sneaky little fucker." She growled, eyes narrow and glaring daggers into his skull. "I should have fucking known you would try and pull some shit like this while he's gone, you god damn snake!!"

He simply looked at her with a smirk on his face. She was all bark and no bite. Despite all of her threats, she'd never once acted upon them. Shikamaru knew from the get-go the type of person Yuuna was, and he wasn't scared of her. It was quite the opposite, actually. He was very fond of the brunette. Fond enough, in fact, that she was the center of his thoughts. He couldn't stop himself from thinking about her. When he wasn't focused on work or in a meeting with Naruto or Haruki, she was all he could think about. The way she walked with a confident stride in her step. The way her emerald eyes caught the light and glimmered. The way her fingers drummed against the hardwood of the meeting table as she reviewed important documents.

But he found himself most often thinking about her lips. How the pink hue of her lipstick glistened and drew him in. How cute they looked when she was pouting or claiming she was upset at him. He oftentimes wondered just what would happen if he kissed those pretty, pouty, pink lips of hers. What would they taste like? What would it feel like to pull her lower lip between his teeth as he ran his hands along her bare skin? How would it feel to have those soft lips of hers wrapped around his cock, tears spilling from her eyes in a blissful expression as she choked on his girth?

That last thought rotted through his brain nearly every time he looked at her. Every time her tongue grazed over her lips absently in thought, he felt the blood rush between his thighs and he had to force himself to get a grip and cool down. But now...

Now it was just the two of them, and the tension in the air was palpable. He knew it, and he knew she knew it too. That sooner or later, something was going to happen. And oh, did he ever hope that something was going to happen tonight.

He stared at the woman on the opposite end of the room with a smirk on his face. He looked down at the document on the table and took it into his hands. He folded the paper into a neat little rectangle and opened his blazer, placing the document into the inside pocket. He returned his mocha hues to meet her glare, reaching down and shutting the filing cabinet. At a snail's pace, he began to make his way around the desk and walk over to her.

"What the fuck is your problem, huh?!" She shouted, watching as he took his sweet time. "You gonna say something or what?!"

Shikamaru stopped to reach into his pocket and pull out a new cigarette. He placed it between his lips and plucked out his lighter, igniting the end and replacing the metal back into his trousers. He took a deep inhale and then pulled the cigarette from his lips, exhaling the smoke with a smug grin.

"Naruto needed to go home and get some rest. I offered to stay. He gave me a list of things that needed to get done tonight." He stated, shifting his gaze back and forth between her eyes. "I'm just doing what I was told to do."

"Bullshit." She accused, standing her ground and staying firm. She watched as he fiddled around in his pocket to produce a scrap piece of paper that indeed did have a list of to-dos scribbled on it in Naruto's handwriting. He smirked and stuffed it back into his pants and watched as she became increasingly more antsy, shifting slightly in place, but still remaining firm.

"I gotta say," He started, taking another long drag from his cigarette. "I'm surprised you still have it in you to keep going with this. I mean, come on, I've proven I'm a decent guy time and time again and you're still suspicious? This whole thing is starting to turn into such a drag."

Yuuna scoffed and straightened up, looking directly into his eyes and running her tongue along her upper lip. He watched as the muscle slid along her flesh, feeling the blood rush to his stiffening erection. Shikamaru stifled a low groan with a drag of his cigarette as he kept his eyes fixated on her lips.

"I'll keep looking." She griped, furrowing her brows and frowning. "I don't care how fucking long it takes. I will get you."

His eye twitched minutely and he flicked the ashes off the end of his smoke, holding it between his right index and middle fingers. He strutted towards her with a smirk, backing her up against the door as he caged her in with his left hand. He leaned in close, face mere centimeters from hers, and he chuckled.

"Listen here, lapdog," He muttered, his voice low and husky, lips stretched into a sly smile. It was almost threatening. "Search all you want. You won't find any dirt on me. I'm squeaky clean."

She could feel her heart beating in her throat and her breathing quickened, shifting her gaze back and forth between his eyes. She pressed her back up against the door, dragging her nails against the wood as she glared up at him. The tension was unbearable. With a scowl, she suddenly lifted a hand up to his head to grasp at his hair, loosening it from its confines a little as she pulled his head to the side. The sudden motion caught him off guard and he winced at the pain, but let out a low, hungry groan at the stinging sensation. He looked down at her and panted.

"Fuck you, Nara." She hissed, baring her teeth but pushing her back off of the door to press her chest lightly against his. He pulled his hand down from its spot above her head on the wood, then mirrored her movement, grabbing a fistful of her hair and snapping her head back. She let out a moan at the abrupt movement, loosening her grip on his hair and falling back against the door again. She looked up at him through heavy lashes as her breathing became labored.

"Strike three, doll-face." He muttered, then surged forward to capture her lips in a heated kiss. She returned it instantly, opening her mouth to allow his tongue to roam around as it pleased. He pressed his body up against her, lifting his right arm up to rest against the door and pinning her against it. He began to rut his hips forward against hers, groaning into her mouth as he felt his cock twitch beneath his trousers.

Yuuna pulled her hand from his hair and ran it down his neck until it rested against his chest, where she began to shift it under his blazer to slip it off. He pulled back from her lips for just a moment, placing his cigarette between his own and shucking his jacket off of his shoulders. He let it fall to the ground, then pulled the cigarette from his lips and exhaled the smoke. He dove forward again to capture her in another fiery kiss, fiddling with his belt as he let his tongue explore her mouth. She let out a soft moan as she felt him grind his throbbing cock against her, finally free from its confines. She pulled back to catch her breath, resting her head against the wooden door as she gasped for air. Shikamaru took the opportunity to pull her head to the side, exposing her neck, and placed open mouth kisses along the skin. He licked at her flesh, sucking it until he left a mark, then moved along to an empty space and did the same thing there until her neck was covered in bruises. She let out a string of quiet moans as he did so, reaching her hand down to curl her fingers around his girth, stroking him in a steady rhythm. He groaned against her skin, releasing his grip on her hair to slip his fingers under her dress and drag them over her clothed slit.

He smirked against her skin when he felt how damp her panties were, gliding the pad of his middle finger over her clit and circling it lazily. She trembled underneath his touch, pulling her other hand up from the door behind her to grasp at his shirt and pressing her forehead into his neck.

"You like that, Princess?" He asked, but he already knew the answer when she let out a whimper underneath him. He pulled back just enough to watch her, holding his smoke in between his long, thin fingers. He then used that free hand to grope one of her breasts, pulling it out from the low-cut fabric and kneading the flesh between his unoccupied fingers. He slipped the digits on his other hand under her panties, gliding them through her folds and chuckling as he heard her whimpering again. She let out a low moan feeling his fingers dipping inside of her, clenching onto the fabric of his dark green button-up.

She gave his cock another steady pump, pulling her head back from his neck to look into his eyes. They exchanged a lust-filled glance before she shot forward to kiss him again, shifting her hand from his chest to the back of his head where she held him against her lips. She ground down against his fingers, moaning into his mouth and stroking his girth quickly.

"Fuck--" He muttered against her tongue, pressing himself up harder against her and quickening the movement of his wrist. She moaned as she felt him slip another finger into her heat and in turn flicked her own wrist faster. He groaned again, pulling away just enough to catch his breath as he snatched her lower lip between his teeth. He pulled his fingers from her cunt and began pressing tight circles against her clit with his middle finger. He shifted his head back just enough to prop his cigarettes between his lips, holding it between them as he took a long drag and blew the smoke out from the side of his mouth. He took his now free hand and shifted it down to pull at her thigh, lifting it up and pressing her leg back under the crook of her knee.

The shift in position caused Yuuna's head to tilt back against the door, a soft moan resonating from her lips as her eyes rolled back. She lifted her arm to wrap it around his shoulders and rested the other hand on his cheek, huffing as she refocused her gaze onto the scarred face in front of her. Shikamaru rutted his hips forward, grinding his cock against her, running the tip along her soaked panties. He groaned at the feeling, letting his head fall back a little as the cigarette between his lips threatened to fall to the floor. He tilted his head forward, brow furrowed and face hot, and ground his cock against her heat again.

"You want it?" He rasped, shifting his hand to his face to pull the cigarette from his mouth. He exhaled the smoke to the side and circled his hips against her again. She tilted her head back against the door again and nodded. He chuckled and grabbed her face, squishing her cheeks slightly, pulling her head down and forcing her to look into his eyes. "I'm not doing shit until I hear you say it."

"Fuck me." She hissed with a pant, then pulled his head towards hers to capture him in a hungry kiss. He smirked against her and chuckled through his nose, then pulled back to release his grip on her cheeks and replace his cigarette between his lips. She had to stop her eyes from rolling back into her head as she felt him slip his fingers inside of her again, breathing out a heavy pant and biting down on her bottom lip. Her brows furrowed and she looked up at him through heavy lashes. "With your cock, you shitty bastard."

He scoffed and glared down at her, maintaining eye contact for a moment. In one quick movement he removed his fingers from her soaking hole and pulled her panties to the side, then slammed his hips forward until his cock was buried inside her to the hilt. They moaned in synchronization, her body trembling as her pussy adjusted to the sudden stretch. His cigarette fell to the vinyl tile beneath them as he panted, pressing his forehead hard against hers. He stomped out the cigarette and refocused his vision on her, pressing her leg back farther and smirking.

"Fuck, you feel as good as I hoped you would." Shikamaru huffed, the grin still present on his face. He slowly shifted his hips back, sliding his cock out of her slowly. The lazy movement elicited a moan from the woman in front of him. He shifted his hips forward, sliding back inside of her, and repeated the slow action a few times. He wanted to feel every inch of that intoxicating wet heat that wrapped around him so deliciously. He chuckled as she huffed beneath him, leaning in closer to her face. "Feel good, sweetheart? C'mon, you like it, don't you?"

Yuuna furrowed her brow and huffed, the movement of her hips synchronizing with his betraying the look of annoyance on her face. She tried desperately to keep up her facade but the moan that escaped her lips was enough of an answer to his question. He scoffed down at her, lips mere inches from hers, as he slowly pressed his cock back inside her cunt. He pressed her leg back again until it was nearly flush with her chest. She gasped as he deepened his thrusts, and he took the opportunity to close the small space between their faces.

He pressed his lips to hers and she parted her own upon contact, allowing his tongue to traverse inside the wet cavern of her mouth. She shifted her leg from his grip, resting her calf up onto his shoulder. He groaned into her mouth and held her thigh as he thrusted his hips forwards. She let one of her hands snake its way behind his head to hold his mouth against hers while the other found its way to the buttons on his shirt. She began to unbutton the fabric as he fucked into her, slipping it off his shoulders so it met his blazer on the ground.

Yuuna's hands wandered the expanse of bare skin in front of her, dragging her long, painted nails across his flesh. She pulled at his hair to separate them, huffing against his face as she caught her breath.

"F-Fuck, 's so good," She mewled, lost in the pleasure and dropping her facade. Shikamaru smirked at her and shifted one of his hands down her body, letting his thumb drag over her clit as he slowed his pace considerably. She keened at his touch, furrowing her brow upward and looking into his sultry mocha eyes.

"You like that, yeah?" He inquired, flicking his thumb against her nerves at a lazy pace. "You like getting stuffed and having your pussy played with?"

She nodded in response, moaning as his thumb hit a sweet spot against her nerves. "S-So good, 's so g-good."

He grinned wickedly at her and halted his movements entirely. He pulled himself out of her sopping cunt and gave his cock a steady stroke as he looked down at her. The rage in her eyes was absolutely delectable.

"H-Hey, what--" She stammered, heaving for breath. "What the fuck? Why did you stop?!"

He simply smiled down at her and cocked his head to the side.

"'Cause I wanna hear you say it."

Her eyes widened and her face flushed. He couldn't be serious. She frowned and gave a little snarl, baring her teeth at him.

"W-What the fuck do you mean?" She growled, still panting to catch her breath. He chuckled again, stroking his cock and leaning forward to ghost his lips over the shell of her ear and whisper.

"I wanna hear you say how much you want me to fuck you." He grinned wickedly, his breath hot against her ear. She shivered and her eyelids fluttered, swallowing thickly as her head lightly tapped against the wood behind her. He chuckled through his nose, shifting his hips forward and slipping his cock between her thighs, rubbing it along her folds. "Wanna hear you beg for it."

The sound of his husky voice rang in her ear and that alone nearly made her moan. Her knees trembled as she felt his girth sliding between her legs. Every part of her body was screaming at her to give in to his request. But she was stubborn, and even though he pretty much had her figured out, she couldn't give up her facade. Not yet. She met his gaze when he pulled back from her ear, furrowing her brow.

"I don't beg for anyone." Yuuna spoke quietly, keeping her eyes fixed on his. "Especially not for you, Nara."

Shikamaru gave an annoyed frown, sucking the air between his teeth and scowling down at her. He pulled his cock from between her legs and fixed it back into his trousers, stepping away from her and leaning down to pick up the articles of his discarded clothing. Realizing what was happening, the panic settled on her face and she watched as he collected his things.

"Wh-What are you doing?" She asked. He stood up straight and loomed over her almost threateningly.

"If you're not into it, I'm not gonna bother wasting my time." He retaliated, moving past her to grab the door handle. He swung the doors open and began to step out of Naruto's office, but stopped when he heard her call out to him.

"I--..." She started, but trailed off as if she didn't know what to say. She stared at his back, clenching her fists tightly to help soothe the anxiety that was running through her. The jig was up. He'd had her figured out, and there was no point in her trying to bluff anymore. With a shaky sigh, she straightened up and looked at the back of his head. "I--...I want you to f-fuck me. Please."

If his back hadn't been turned, she would have been able to see the devilish grin that stretched across his lips. Just as he had planned. He paused for a moment before slowly turning around to look at her. Their eyes met and he watched her throat tighten as she swallowed. He shifted his attention to her lips, those beautiful pouty lips, and he smirked. He felt his still hard cock twitch and he casually strolled over towards her until they were standing face to face. He loomed over her, gaze burning through her, and leaned his head forward until their lips were mere centimeters apart.

"What was that, doll-face?" He whispered, that cocky smile still present on his features. "You're gonna have to be a little more specific."

The tension was thick enough to be cut with a knife. She stood there, breathing heavily, watching him closely as her cheeks burned hot. She swallowed again, shifting to press her body up against his, trailing her hands along the expanse of his bare chest. She felt his cock pressing against her underneath his pants and it had her almost salivating. Poking her tongue between her painted lips to lick them, she panted again before rutting her hips forward against his.

"W-Want you to fuck me, Shikamaru," She huffed, calling him by his first name for the very first time since they'd met. "Want to feel your cock inside me, w-want you to fill me up. I-I need it."

Every single word that rolled off her tongue had him groaning. He dropped the clothes he was holding to the ground and immediately grabbed hold of the back of her head, crashing his lips against hers. She let out a moan on impact, parting her lips right away so his tongue could brush up against hers. He began to walk forward, pushing her back, until he backed her up against the edge of the couch that resided in the corner of Naruto's office. As soon as her calves hit the couch, he shoved her down onto the cushions. Yuuna landed with a soft oof and she looked up at him through half-lidded eyes, huffing softly as the tension between her legs was building up again. He reached into his trousers and pulled out his aching cock, stroking it steadily a few times as he watched her. She licked her lips, rubbing her thighs together as her hands found their way to the waistband of his trousers. She tugged them down just enough so they hung around his thighs and immediately dove forward to swallow his girth, pressing her nose against his hips.

Shikamaru gave a hungry groan as he watched his length disappear behind her lips, fisting her hair and working his hips into a rhythm. He watched her carefully as she slid her tongue along the length of his cock. It was just how he'd pictured it in his head. Even better than he'd imagined. He worked himself up to a steady pace, holding her head still as his hips slapped against her face. She gripped onto his pants tightly and clamped her eyes shut, holding her breath as he fucked into her mouth. He slammed his hips forward, holding her head against them and staring down at her as he caught his breath. She finally opened her eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks as she looked up to meet his gaze, panting as she caught her breath too. The look on her face was absolutely sinful. It was everything he'd thought it would have been and more. It was just what he was waiting for. He pulled out of her mouth with a groan and she sputtered as the air rushed back into her lungs, coughing and heaving for breath.

Without warning, he shifted downwards and pressed her legs back towards her chest, situating his face between her thighs. He tugged her soaking panties to the side and Yuuna gasped when she felt his tongue gliding through her folds, squirming around and desperately trying to bite back a moan.

"No point in holding it in, Princess," He growled, kissing her inner thighs and nibbling lightly against her flesh. He looked up at her and smirked as he licked a stripe up from her entrance to her clit, circling her nerves lazily. "I wanna hear just how loud you can be for me."

As if on cue, she let out a lewd moan that echoed through the empty office as he lapped at her clit. She pulled one hand up to her head to run it through her hair, and moved the other down on top of Shikamaru's to grasp at his. He smirked against her skin as he continued to devour her cunt, wrapping his arms under her thighs and holding her against his tongue. She draped her legs over his shoulders, squeezing his head lightly between her thighs as she rutted her hips against his mouth.

"F-Fuck--..." She whimpered, panting as she ground down against his tongue. She threw her head back against the sofa and moaned again as she began to feel the pressure build in her gut. "Good, s-so good."

He smiled smugly against her, sliding his tongue through her folds again. He pulled one hand from her thigh and sunk his middle finger into her heat, curling it upwards as he began to thrust the digit in and out of her entrance. He held her against his tongue as her hips rolled and her breathing became heavy, slipping a second finger inside of her to stretch her out more. He could feel her thighs tighten around his head and he knew she was close. Lashing his tongue aggressively against her clit and flicking his wrist quickly, it wasn't long before she came undone under his touch.

Her thighs clenched as her orgasm crashed over her, a lustful cry falling from her lips as her vision went white and she slammed her eyes shut. She ground down against his face, tugging his hair tightly as she held him against her, tongue falling from her lips as she panted to catch her breath. He pulled his fingers from her trembling pussy and shifted his position so he was hovering over her, the head of his cock just barely kissing her entrance. He slid it through her folds, gathering her slick and pressing ever so slightly into her hole.

"This what you want?" Shikamaru asked rhetorically; he very much knew the answer already by the way her eyes were glued to his girth pushing into her. She nodded vigorously and bit down on her lip, wiggling her hips to invite him to fuck her. He snickered and leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers in a sloppy kiss before pulling away and looking into her emerald hues. "Then fucking say it."

"Want your cock," She whimpered immediately, chasing his lips and pulling him into her for another kiss. Their tongues met on impact and she tried to grind her hips down against him to push him into her further, but he pulled his own back just to tease her when she tried. She whined against his mouth and pulled away from his lips, grasping at his biceps as she looked up desperately into his eyes. "P-Please, Sh-Shikamaru, I need it. N-Need you to fuck me. Wanna feel your cock inside me."

That was all the invitation he needed. Without another word, he smirked and shoved his hips forward, burying his cock inside of her again. It felt just as good the second time.

"Fuck, you feel so fuckin' good, Yuuna." He groaned, pressing her legs back towards her chest and leaning forward to capture her in a searing kiss. He began to punch his hips forward, slamming them against hers as he pounded into her cunt relentlessly. He pulled back to look down at her and watch her expression. Her eyes were crossed and her tongue lolled from between her lips, a string of saliva dribbling down the side of her mouth. She looked absolutely beautiful. His lips pulled into a smug grin and he slapped his hips against hers, halting his movement to not only catch his breath but to admire the sight beneath him again.

"You like that don't you?" He muttered with a pant, pulling his hips back and grinding them forward slowly. She nodded furiously, digging her painted fingernails into the flesh of his arms. He continued to rut against her painfully slowly, making sure to feel every inch of her velvet walls wrapping around him. "Such a slut for my cock, aren't you, doll-face?"

He resumed his feral pace after she nodded, pounding into her heat and sealing her mouth with a kiss. He shifted one hand from under her knee to rest on her pelvis as he flicked at her clit with his thumb again. She moved to wrap her arms around the back of his neck where she held him pressed tightly against her, moaning loudly against Shikamaru's lips.

"Good girl," He groaned, slowing his pace just a little to emphasize the praise. He traced slow, lazy circles around her clit, eliciting another moan from the woman beneath him. He smirked and pulled away from her just enough so their lips were barely touching. "I wanna hear just how much you love it, yeah?"

"S' g-good," She whimpered, choking out a sob. Yuuna cracked her eyes open to see his mocha hues staring back at her with so much intensity that it made her quiver. "S-So fucking good, l-love your c-cock."

He groaned, rolling out his neck in a circle and smiling down at her. He quickened his pace again and began slapping his hips against hers, flicking tight circles against her nerves and watching her mouth grow wider and wider as her climax approached.

"Be a good girl for me and cum on my cock, yeah?" He grunted, working hard to push her over the edge. He kissed her and pressed his cheek against hers, his hot breath fanning against her ear. "Cum all over my cock, Princess. I wanna hear you scream my fuckin' name."

The coil in her gut snapped and she was sent spiraling into her climax, arching her back off the sofa and crying out Shikamaru's name so loud he was sure the building across the street could hear. The thought sent a jolt of electricity through his body and his eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head.

He retracted his hips and kicked off his trousers, then sat down on the couch next to her. He pulled Yuuna on top of him and she straddled his lap, resting one hand on his shoulder and slipping the other behind his head to pull him in for a lustful kiss. He slid one hand from her waist to the back of her neck where he pulled the ties of her dress down, allowing her to pull away from him to remove the garment. She tossed it onto the floor next to his pants and dove back in, their tongues meeting on impact. He ran his hands up and down her waist as she ground her hips back against his girth, grabbing a handful of her ass as a growl vibrated in his throat. He pulled her down and they moaned together as she sunk down onto his length.

She began to move her hips slowly at first, looking down at him and watching him with half-lidded eyes. He ran a hand up her waist to her chest where he grabbed at her tits and pulled one into his mouth, lapping slowly at the bud as her hips circled around his cock. He flicked his tongue quickly, kneading the supple flesh between his fingers as his eyes closed and he groaned against her skin. He bucked his hips upwards as she ground down on him, using his other hand to squeeze at her ass again. She let out a lewd moan and adjusted her pace, speeding up as she bounced against his girth. Yuuna rested her hands on his shoulders as leverage as she moved. He separated from her with a pop, sliding his hands under her ass to guide her along the length of his cock.

"Yeah, that's it," He praised, watching himself disappear inside of her. He bit down on his lip to stifle a groan, breathing deeply as the pressure began to build up in his gut. "Fuck yourself on my cock, just like that, doll-face."

He leaned forward and kissed her, tugging at her lip with his teeth as he shifted one hand to her pelvis. He began to trace circles around her clit again, determined to make her cum at least one more time before he gave in to his own rapidly approaching pleasure. He snapped his hips upwards, meeting her pace and making quick work of his fingers against her sensitive nerves. He watched her closely, observing every little shift in her face. When he noticed her mouth widen and her brows arch upwards, Shikamaru knew that she was close. He smirked at her and chuckled, grasping at her hip and digging his nails into her flesh as he fucked into her sopping cunt.

"Gonna cum?" He asked rhetorically. The expression on her face said it all. She nodded her head vigorously and squeezed his shoulders, huffing as she bounced along his length.

"C-Close, s-so close," She murmured, her body hot and tears pooling in the corners of her eyes. "G-Gonna c-cum, n-need to c-cum--"

He groaned with a snicker and sealed their mouths once more, flicking his thumb aggressively against her swollen clit. "Good girl. Cum for me, doll, all over my cock."

She continued to circle her hips against his, grinding down against his thumb and edging herself closer and closer to release, until finally the knot in her gut snapped and she was sent hurtling towards her climax. She arched her back forward, bucking her hips against his cock and pressing her forehead against his as her mouth fell open and her eyes sealed shut. A sultry cry left her lips and she panted as she came down from her high.

He pulled his hands away and wrapped his arms around her back, then pressed his temple against her cheek as he began to thrust upwards to meet his own release. He grunted as he drew closer, his once meticulous and meaningful thrusts becoming more and more sloppy. He was desperate now to chase after her high, pounding into her used cunt like a feral animal.

"Gonna fill you up," He growled as his body trembled and his vision began going white. "L-Like the desperate slut you are."

With a snap upwards of his hips he finally allowed himself the release he had been searching for so desperately. His hips stuttered and slowed as he came, shooting thick spurts of cum inside of her with a grunt. Shikamaru panted to catch his breath, then moved his arms from her back to slide his hands along her waist and lifted her off of his lap to disconnect from her. Yuuna pulled back from him and smiled down at the man beneath her, cupping his face and running her thumb along the scars on his cheek. She leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to his lips, basking in the afterglow of what had turned out to be quite an amazing turn of events. She pulled away and he flicked his gaze between her emerald eyes.

"You're a horrible liar, you know." He smiled, running his fingers along her salty skin. She raised an eyebrow and chuckled.

"What are you talking about? I wasn't lying about anything." She said, tilting her head to the side. "I really did hate you when we first met."

"Oh come on. I know you were probably convinced that you had me fooled into thinking you hated me," He started, letting his hands rest on her hips. "But you're the easiest book I've ever read, doll-face."

Yuuna furrowed her brow and scoffed at him. He responded by flashing her a sly grin, drawing his lips closer to hers.

"That smoke break thing was the first red flag." He explained, shifting his eyes to look at her lips. "Why in your right mind, if you hated me, would you willingly drag your feet over to stand next to me, and then ask if I had a smoke I could spare? Especially when there are so many other guys around here who smoke too? You don't even smoke, so why in the hell would you ask a guy you hate for something to fuel a habit you don't even have?"

She sat on top of him and said nothing, simply continuing to trace the lines of his scars along his cheek.

"And that night when I came back to the office and was drunk off my ass." He began, looking into her eyes. "You could have just left me on this couch for someone else to deal with. But you stayed with me all night to make sure I was okay. If you hated me as much as you said you did, you wouldn't have given a rat's ass about what happened."

He leaned forward to press his lips against hers, nibbling at her bottom lip and tugging it gently between his teeth with a cocky smirk.

"You wanna know what the biggest red flag was?" He whispered. "After that night when those punks started following you and you had to call me to get you home safe, I've been walking you to and from work every single day. I know you're not a pushover, Yuuna. You can take care of yourself." He kissed her again, running his hands along her sides. "If you didn't want me escorting you to work, you could have told me to fuck off or threaten me at any time. But you never did. Not once."

He looked into her eyes and gave her a teasing smile, to which she responded by narrowing her gaze and furrowing her brow. He leaned forward again before he spoke, lips barely touching hers

"You've got it bad for me and you're just too stubborn to admit it."

She looked down at him. The jig was officially up. He had her figured out; read her like a book, just like he'd said. Finally, she smiled down at him and chuckled.

"Alright, you got me." She admitted with a roll of her eyes. Yuuna traced her thumb along his scars again, humming softly as she looked between his eyes. "I guess you won this little game of baseball between us, huh?"

He watched her eyes and smiled, leaning forward to close the gap between their faces again. He wrapped his arms around her waist and rolled her over onto her back, pinning her down on the couch. He slated a knee between her thighs and shifted forwards, hovering his lips over hers. They pulled into a sly grin before they met hers in a slow, deliberate kiss. He pulled away and snickered.

"I won the second you locked eyes with me that very first time, Princess."

[adviceformefromme]

Hi :) I’m in my mid-20s. I’ve never been on a date because I’ve never found anyone who meets my standards, and even if they did, they were taken. I can’t speak about this to the female family members I have due to fear of being judged, and I don’t have a helpful elder sister figure. So I’ve pretty much relied on myself which increased my masculine energy am quite a bit. This led to me being inexperienced when it comes to men. When the time comes for my first date, could you volunteer some kind advice as to how I can be less anxious / masculine and more present in my femininity, please? :) thank you!

Hey sweetie, so embodiment of healthy masculine / feminine energy is something you can practise each day. With friends, family, people you interact with which will prep you for when you are meeting men. The awareness you have regarding your masc energy is great. This can totally be softened as you embody more feminine energy see tips below: 1. Develop a deep connection with yourself, your body, your emotions. Learn what makes you tick, understand your triggers and learn how to use your inner masculine energy to ground and support you when you're feeling upset. Study healthy masculine behaviours. Getting in touch with your emotions and body (fem energy) can involve doing practises like yoga, breathe-work meditations. For elegant posture and composure I recommend classical pilates. Also using a journal to help get you out of your head (masc energy) and into your emotions and deeper connect with yourself.    

2. Anxiety stems from focusing and worrying about future events, and also a lack of inner perception. Not understanding your triggers, and putting yourself in situations that are out of alignment. Your journey, your purpose, and your growth should be focused on truly learning understanding yourself. Once I truly got to the root of why I reacted why I did, understood how my traumas, old beliefs were holding me back I was able to make better choices in my day to day life clear all my anxiety. Once you start making choices that align with who you truly are, and take control of your unruly thoughts, you’ll step into your power.  

3. For feminine embodiment, use movies, books, films, people. Use these resources as a guide to help guide and support you. Study women who you admire that embody the feminine energy you wish to have. It doesn’t matter if they’re on youtube, your favourite actress, or a character in a book. The more you connect with these personalities the more you can embody them.    

4. Meditation is KEY. For being more present in your body. For pausing from your masculine behaviours and choosing to act better, act from a feminine place. Use a meditation app, go find a class or use youtube to start you off.

5. Start doing the thing you love, write a list, write down everything you love that brings you joy. Pour your energy into these things. Have a night each week where you dedicate to your feminine study and growth, to reviewing your own behavoiurs. The key to making change is putting in the time and effort and doing the inner work.

6. Spending time in nature, is a very easy and grounding way to connect with your feminine energy. Go for a hike, a walk, or swim in the ocean, whatever you can do and try and do this often. If you find you’re stuck in your head when you’re in nature practise present moment awareness. Start to notice everything around you. Put a walking meditation on in your headphones.

7. Finally, manifesting. you write the script to your life. you get to decide what behavouirs stay or get to go, who you date, what you wear. Your reality is your creation, with time effort and dedication you can re-write your story and create something magical. Go to stores, try on clothes that make you feel feminine, take photos, celebrate yourself, honour yourself, write a list of everything you love about yourself, be your own cheerleader. Valiadting yourself. This is embodying the healthy masculine.

[morizoras-cave]

Purple Patches

Benedict Cumberbatch x Teen!Co-Star!Reader, Tom Holland x Teen!Co-star!Reader

Genre: Angst, fluffy ending

Description: Filming the newest Dr. Strange movie (in which Tom would also appear), you grow quite close with the two leads, Tom and Benedict. But you’re hiding something alarming from them. Four months in the entire crew get a week off to see their families for Christmas, and when you return Tom and Benedict can’t help but feel troubled, as your body is rippled with purple patches.

Warnings: CHILD ABUSE, physical abuse, broken family, alcoholism, depression, anxiety??

A/N: I had another imagine written but im ngl its kind of.. weird? its unconventional for sure. and its definitely bad. so, maybe ill rewrite someday or something? ALSO SORRY IF YOU DONT CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS, JUST IMAGINE YOU HAVE SOME SORT OF EVIL CHRISTIAN STEP DAD WHO FORCES IT INTO YOUR FAMILY

The taxi you sat in drove slowly in the New York traffic, as snow fell outside, coating the entire city in blinding white. You couldn’t enjoy it however. Your entire body hurt, and yet you still couldn’t find even a moment to worry about your health. All you could think about was them.

Tom and Benedict. Your sweetest coworkers, and at this point your closest.. anything. Family, friends? Who cares, you had no one else. You’d gone back for the holidays like everyone else, even though you wished you could have just stayed at in your trailer. Your dad, like any other time you saw him, had used this time to pour his anger and alcoholism out on you. Your body which had finally begun to heal, was now back to square one, covered in cuts and bruises. 

You knew what would happen if anyone found out. You’d be taken from your family. But in truth, although you hated being around him, you wanted to wait for your dad. You wanted to wait for him to get over his alcoholism, you wanted him to get better, and then he’d treat you better. 

But they would find out. You were covered in bruises and purple patches. Your face was fine, except for your neck, but the rest of your body was ruined. Ugly. You could hide most of it, but it hurt. Even just sitting there, in the soft and plush taxi seat, you body was aching and wailing like a police siren. 

And what if they noticed you foundation-covered hands? Or the movie required you to wear something more revealing? 

“You okay?” the deep voice of your taxi driver ripped you from your thoughts. A single tear had slid down your face. You cleared your throat and nodded, wiping the tear from your cheek. 

You arrived at the set, and an impossible knot had been tied in your stomach. Nervousness tingled in your heart and your legs, but you got up anyway, trying to calm your breath. The moment you stood up, you winced and stopped. 

You managed to roll your luggage to your trailer, biting your lip continuously in order to keep yourself from screaming. You threw it on the floor of your trailer, whimpering and doubling over in pain. 

“Y/n!” a rapid knock on your door, interrupted you. It was Tom’s voice. You took a shaky breath, closing your eyes, and then opening the door. Tom stood there in your doorway like a smiling idiot. Your lips widened into a smile just from seeing him.

“Y/n!” he repeated stepping inside and wrapping his arms around you in a hug. You bit your lip again, hiding your pain-wrenched face in his chest, before hugging him back. He placed his head on yours sweetly. “I missed you!” he gushed. 

You hit his chest playfully, “I missed you too,” you frowned for a moment and looked away. Tom’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Are you okay?” You simply nodded. Tom stared at you for a moment and then shook his head. “Anyway, um, Benedict asked me to tell you that he’s invited both of us youngsters out for dinner tonight. Just as one last ‘fuck you!’ to work, before officially start back up tomorrow.”

“That does sound like something he would do,” you agreed and Tom laughed, punching your shoulder playfully. You yelped loudly, retreating quickly from him. 

“Woah,” he exclaimed, holding his hands up, “Are you okay? What happened to your shoulder?” 

“I fell,” you said. Nervousness jabbed at your ribs. You’d barely talked to Tom for a minute and he’d already asked if you were okay twice. He seemed to buy your explanation, and apologized for accidentally hitting your sore shoulder, to which you nodded absently. 

Tom was silent for a couple of heartbeats. He studied you. You were not usually like this. Or maybe you had been a little like this those four months ago, when you first started filming. He didn’t understand what caused you to be that way, so distant and unhappy. 

“Hey, anyway, I’m gonna go, I’m trying to actually read the script this time,” he joked, and you laughed because you knew it was a hopeless task. 

“Have fun,” you mumbled, and as soon he left, you body slid down against the wall, and your facade crumbled, tears leaving your eyes.

___________________________

Before the dinner, you took three pain killers. Then, you waited restlessly, hoping that the pills might kick in. They did but your body felt strange and buzzy. You ignored it, a blossoming hope forming in your chest that you might be able to conceal your pain in the pills and the clothing. 

Benedict came knocking on your door around 7, a smile on his face. “Y/n!” he said, and you both hugged. A small smile had formed on your lips, when you actually managed to deal with the ache, now much weaker than previously.

You both then walked to Tom’s trailer, and then the three of you walked to a restaurant, not too far from your filming location.

“So, what have you two been up to in our little break?” Benedict asked once you all sat down, having ordered already. You glanced at Tom, hoping that he’d start. 

“Me and my brothers went back home to our mum and dad. Had a pretty regular Christmas. I gave the best gifts. I got some pretty cool socks,” Tom joked around. You and Benedict stifled a laugh. Then both Ben and Tom looked at you, and you realized it was your turn to tell them about what you’d been up to. 

“Oh, well, I.. I spent Christmas with my parents. My grandparents and cousins also came,” you were lying through your teeth. You avoided their eyes, sipping your soda. 

“Got any presents?” Benedict asked and you cursed at yourself internally for forgetting such a simple part of Christmas. And for making things awkward. 

“I got some clothes, some books. Pretty standard stuff,” you forced a smile, “What about you, Benadryl?”

Benedict rolled his eyes at your comment, making you and Tom fist-bump one another, giggling quietly as he told you about his own Christmas. The night was going alright, except for that rough start. Mostly you avoided any talk of your family, and you could feel yourself getting better, the further the conversation got from your family. Until-

“Y/n, what’s that on your hand?” 

Instinctively, you pulled your hand to your lap, straightening yourself up and gulping. You looked down, pretending to inspect it and then looked up. 

“It’s, uh, it’s dirt. Wow, I should really go wash my hands, haha-” Tom grabbed your hand from under the table, pulling it towards him. Your foundation was wearing off, a large purple patch stemming from your wrist and snaking up your hand revealing itself. 

You couldn’t breathe. Both Tom and Ben just stared at it. You tried to pull back but Tom was much stronger than you. Tears blurred your vision. 

“Y/n, what is this?” Tom whispered, and you felt his fingers rubbing the bruise gently. The tears finally fell, and now both men were looking at you. Benedict looked serious. It was an expression you’d never really seen on his features before, at least not outside of your acting. 

“I-I fell..” you mumbled, but you knew it was useless. 

“Y/n.. Who did this?” Benedict’s voice was low, gently setting a hand on your shoulder. You flinched. 

“I don’t know.. I don’t..” 

“Y/n!” Tom’s voice was raised. You immediately jumped away from them both, putting your arms in front of you in fear. Several people turned to look at you three. Shaking, you lowered your hands, and saw Tom and Ben staring at you worriedly. Tom had tears in his eyes. 

“Let’s talk about this back at the studio, okay?” Benedict, now afraid to touch you, spoke slowly and comfortingly. You nodded and then two men got up, standing on either side of you, grabbing one of your hands each. 

“Was it your dad?” Tom growled as you walked in the night, moon rising in the sky. 

“Yes..” you whispered, so low you wondered if they heard it, but they did. They both exchanged glances. Tom was furious. Benedict was too, but he was collected. Tom itched to ask you more and help you, console you right there on the street, but Benedict sent him a warning look not to. 

You walked back to the studio in silence. The three of you entered your trailer and you quietly wished you had predicted something like this would happen, because the bottle of strong pain killers was still out and open on your kitchen table. 

Benedict spotted them immediately and grabbed them. His eyes narrowed as he read the bottle description. Then he looked at you and then it again. Tom watched helplessly, holding your shoulders gently. 

“How many more are there? Bruises.” Ben was clearly angry. He was losing his cool, hands shaking as he grabbed your hand to pull up your sleeve. You tried to move his hand away, but he slid the sleeve up to your elbow and just stared at the blue, yellow and purple that littered your arm. Tom was frozen beside you. 

Ben slid up your other sleeve, breathing speeding up as he saw more, and then he tugged at the collar of your turtleneck, exposing the jarring and ugly sight of a red handprint. He pulled away suddenly, walking away from you. 

“Fuck!” he yelled, hitting the wall of the trailer. He hung his head low. You jumped and turned around, but Tom simply embraced you, and then sat you both down on the floor. You hid your face in his neck, sobbing again. Tom’s hands slowly rubbed your back. 

“Okay..” said Benedict after a while. You could hear that he’d calmed down. Ben angrily wiped a few tears from his face, turning to you and Tom on the floor. Tom was simply frowning now. He never wanted to let you go. He never wanted any harm to come to you. 

“I’m gonna call the police and get your dad arrested,” he said, and you heard his footsteps, as he wondered what to do next. 

“No!” you exclaimed, scrambling to your feet away from Tom. Both men looked at you in confusion. “No! You can’t do that, he’s- he’s just trying to get better. If I wait a little longer, he’s going to get better.” 

“Y/n..” Benedict whispered sadly and you ran to him hoping to stop him. “You can’t wait for him. You’re putting yourself in danger..” you shook your head, but Ben grabbed your shoulders and looked into your eyes, “he’s a grown man, Y/n. He doesn’t deserve pity or patience. Not after doing this. Nothing excuses this. Nothing.” 

You swallowed the lump in your throat, lip quivering, but still you nodded. 

“Can your mother take care of you?” Ben asked, piercing blue eyes still staring into your soul. There was no point in lying anymore, you knew. 

“No.” 

“Alright, then you’ll stay with me.” Ben declared, “You’ll stay with me until we can find someone from your family who can take care of you.” You looked up at him with shining eyes. Despite the uncomfortable situation you found yourself in, a genuine smile broke out on your face. 

You hugged him, thanking him breathlessly. Ben and Tom made eye contact, and smiled gently at each other. Tom had cried silently at your interaction. The thought that someone would hurt someone he loved so dearly shattered his heart completely. 

“Now,” Benedict said finally, “we need to drive you to the hospital.” 

You agreed and while Tom drove, Ben was in the backseat on the phone with the police department. You just watched the beautiful neon lights shining in the pitch black night, snow illuminating the ground. People still littered the streets. 

You knew it now. Your father didn’t deserve your waiting, and though it would take very long to finally live with and truly understand, it was worth it to start the fight. You truly owed it to the two jerks you worked with. What would you even do with out them?

[iturbide]

Ah, I found the line that made me think Hubert convinced Edelgard to work with twisted, he says "However, their power is essential for us at present. Edelgard also strongly opposed the idea at first." (Script is on the wiki, it's CF ch13, Beyond Escape, links aren't allowed.) The fact that /Edelgard/ opposed the idea makes me think Hubert was the one that convinced her (since I don't really think anyone else could), so that's why I have that Impression, but it could easily mean something else.

I found it -- thanks for finding that! Here's the full quote:

Hubert: Professor, I understand how you must be feeling, considering what they did to your father. I know it must be foul to even consider cooperating with their kind. However, their power is essential for us at present. Edelgard also strongly opposed the idea at first. Our enemy is the Church of Seiros itself. It cannot be toppled with the Empire's might alone. Those working under Lord Arundel are extremely hostile toward the church. And the enemy of our enemy is...Well, I think you sufficiently understand by now.

Funny enough, when I was playing through CF in the first place I actually took this quote as showing Edelgard's rein over Hubert, rather than his influence over her! A lot of this is just speculation on my part, but bear with me here:

A lot of this idea stems from the fact that I doubt Hubert and Edelgard were reunited with one another until after the Twisted had completed their experiments, resulting in her acquiring the Crest of Flames. That experiment in and of itself is somewhat interesting to think about, and warrants some in-depth consideration, because it gets tied up in some of the recent convoluted history of the Adrestian Empire. So let's break that down a little:

Ionius IX becomes the Emperor of Adrestia, and as is common, marries and takes on several consorts -- among them Edelgard's mother -- in hopes of producing an heir who bears the Crest of Seiros. It's not explicitly stated in the game that I recall, but the game is pretty clear that the Imperial nobles heavily favor Crests (which is why Hanneman's sister was married off to a minor noble, only to died of what was otherwise a likely a manageable condition when she failed to produce a Crest-bearing heir for her husband), so I generally imagine that a Crest of Seiros is required for ascending the Imperial throne.

Now, while this element is speculative, I do think it feeds into this idea that a Crest is required to become heir to the Imperial throne -- and that's Hubert himself. We know for a fact that Hubert is the oldest son of Marquess Vestra, and that he was appointed to Edelgard's service in his youth, well before the Insurrection of the Seven (which we'll get to shortly). Edelgard herself mentions in her C+ Support with Byleth that while she was born with a Minor Crest of Seiros, most of her ten siblings were born with none at all. As the oldest son in the family that has historically acted as the right hand of the Emperor, logically Hubert should have been appointed to one of Edelgard's eight older siblings, especially given that he's three years older than her -- but instead, Hubert ended up tasked with protecting Edelgard. This implies to me that Edelgard was not only one of the few Crest-bearing heirs of Ionius, but the first of them to be born, which automatically put her at the top of the line of succession despite the fact that she was technically the ninth child born: because a Crest is key to inheritance in the Imperial family.

At this time, the Emperor was certainly a major power in Adrestia, but additional influence was held by the various heads of noble houses who performed important functions, such as the Prime Minister (Duke Aegir), the Minister of Domestic Affairs (Earl Hevring), the Minister of Military Affairs (Count Bergliez), etc. As stated above, there's strong evidence that the Imperial family passes from one Crest-bearer to the next -- and unfortunately for Ionius, he had eleven children and at most three Crest-bearing heirs, one of whom only had a Minor Crest of Seiros. In order to maintain an appearance of strength and power, the Imperial family really needed a Major Crestbearer for heir to the throne...and Ionius was struggling to make that happen. There may have been concerns within the Imperial household (or even without among the noble families that wielded influence) that the Emperor's bloodline was growing weak, which could in turn put the stability of the Empire at risk.

In 1167, when Edelgard was around 4 years old, Ionius attempted to roll out a series of reforms that would ultimately put all power in the Empire in the Emperor's hands. We have no idea why he did this-- the game never explains the logic behind it -- but it may very well tie into the concerns above: rumors of the Imperial bloodline growing weak, the lack of Major Crestbearers for an heir, and associated concerns about putting a Minor Crestbearer on the throne. By consolidating power for himself, he would have greater freedom to change the rules, make it easier for Minor Crestbearers to succeed in the Imperial family, and furthermore crush dissent regardless of whether it came from a commoner's mouth or a nobleman's. House Hrym, seeing this as a disconcerting move, attempted to secede from the Empire and reached out to House Ordelia in the Leicester Alliance for aid -- a rebellion that was swiftly quashed, leading to the extermination of House Hrym and the subjugation of House Ordelia.

Ultimately, this draconian response to Hrym's rebellion might be what led the other six Great Noble families of Adrestia to act as they did -- after all, any dissent from their individual Houses might lead to similar results. Four years later in 1171, the remaining noble houses of Aegir, Vestra, Varley, Bergliez, Hevring, and Gerth rebelled against Ionius and attempted to seize power in what would become known as the Insurrection of the Seven (with the destroyed House Hrym as the honorary seventh House alluded to in its name). Recognizing the danger, Edelgard's uncle and minor noble Lord Volkhart von Arundel whisked her north to Faerghus for her safety.

Sometime just before or during Year 1174, Lord Arundel was replaced by Thales and allied with Duke Aegir (this isn't a solid fact, but can be inferred given that Arundel had routinely donated to the Church of Seiros in the years before, only to abruptly stop in that year). This support ultimately helped bring the Insurrection of the Seven to an end with the Great Noble Houses emerging victorious and leaving Ionius stripped of all power, existing only as a figurehead for the Adrestian Empire, leaving the noble houses led by Duke Aegir as the powers behind the throne controlling the Empire. As part of this, Thales also brought an idea before the Great Nobles that would solve their problem of needing a suitable figurehead for the future -- namely, creating one bearing the Crest of Flames.

The Crest of Flames is an oddity in the game because of its complicated history. Nemesis was a folk hero of sorts: it's the reason why he's been enshrined in Fodlan's history as the King of Liberation -- but at the same time, his ultimate fate in that history was as a man corrupted by power who fell to Seiros. Duke Aegir and the other Great Nobles likely wanted to capitalize on the folk hero aspect when it came to the experiments, expecting that the revival of the Crest of Flames would make for a perfect figurehead, leveraging that folk hero element (especially since relations with the Church of Seiros had been deteriorating over the past century); unbeknownst to them, though, Thales and his group wanted to revive the Crest of Flames for the purposes of exterminating the last remaining Children of the Goddess once and for all. This ultimately led to the experiments that took the lives of Edelgard's siblings and left her as the sole survivor, bearing both her Minor Crest of Seiros and the Major Crest of Flames.

So with the history out of the way, we can dig into some more minutiae. Edelgard was about 11 years old when the experiments began in 1174; we don't know when they ended, but given how physically taxing they were, and requiring periods for the subjects to heal between procedures to ensure that at least one survived, it probably wouldn't be unreasonable to say they lasted two or more years, possibly ending in roughly the same timeframe of the Tragedy of Duscur in 1176 and making her 13 years old. Over the course of the those experiments, it's safe to say that Edelgard developed a hatred for quite a few groups: the Twisted who committed these atrocities against her and her family, the Great Noble Houses of Adrestia who signed off on this and stripped her father of the power to stop it, and the Church of Seiros run by inhuman beasts that instituted the system biasing toward Crests in the first place. And at the end, it's perfectly understandable that she would want to see every single one of them destroyed.

Now while I have criticized Edelgard in the past for how poor her long-term planning was in regards to the game's central conflict, I can't say that she's stupid. At 13, she had three major groups she wanted to eliminate, and also no reasonable way to achieve even one. The Imperial Nobles wanted to defang and chain her the same way they had her father, and would never allow her an iota of power because of it; the Church of Seiros was an institution ingrained throughout the whole of Fodlan in various ways, shapes, and forms, and led by dragons who would not so much as blink if a human confronted them; and the Twisted clearly had enough power at their beck and call to implant dual Crests into people, making them a frighteningly powerful force. Under those circumstances, her options were extremely limited -- but she almost certainly knew by then that the Twisted had no love for the Children of the Goddess, and they had power that she did not. Her best (and likely only) chance of achieving her goals necessitated that she ally herself with people that she hated, intending to lull them into lowering their defenses so that when the time was right, she could take them down just as she intended to undermine and destroy the Imperial nobility.

And then she had to pretend to play nice in order to achieve some measure of freedom. By letting Duke Aegir and the other nobles think that she would be easily controlled, she would be released from confinement and have more freedom to move. I can't help but imagine that she was only released from the underground lab beneath the palace after she had already allied herself with the Twisted -- meaning she had already made the decision to walk that path by the time she was reunited with Hubert. Having not seen her since 1171 when her uncle took her to Faerghus, and having no viable way of getting information on what was going on, Edelgard is almost certainly the one who told him about what she suffered -- and also the one who kept him from trying to cut them down for their crimes, since it would only get him killed. Despite how much she would have to hate the decision, it was also her only choice -- something she would undoubteldy stress to Hubert -- but it also puts gives them better access to the Twisted and their operations, improving their chances of gathering intelligence about this enemy that they can use in the future. That may even have been where Hubert started engaging in covert activities: he learned those skills so he would have a better chance of getting useable information on the enemy they kept closest, so that when the time was right they could take them down in one fell swoop.

Ultimately I think it comes down to the fact that just because someone is opposed to an idea doesn't mean they're not going to do it. Edelgard would naturally be strongly opposed to allying with the Twisted, after what they did to her and her family -- but when her choices are between allying with them and staying a prisoner, shackled and forced to bow to the Nobles who oversaw the torture and deaths of her siblings, all while the monsters who set this system in motion rule unopposed...I see no reason why she wouldn't take the option that at least gives her a chance of getting revenge on those who harmed her and her family.

[pico-digital-studios]

Into, Across and Beyond! Scripting: A Leader's Doubt

Sometime after More than One Universe and Funkinverse, Gwen Stacy and Gracie were both walking through a dark void, having been summoned there by EV!Sonic.

Gracie: So, what do ya think the blue hedgehog's wanting us for?

Gwen: Maybe to discuss the whole multiverse mumbo-jumbo stuff, I presume. I mean, we've both seen a lot of what it all has to offer, and fought some of the worst out there.

Gracie: True dat. I guess you and me might not be too different after all, huh?

Gwen: Yeah. That's one way to think about it.

They saw EV!Sonic up ahead, looking at many screens and floating panels, with the present (at the time) voyage of Sonic Prime and Shadow Prime in the middle.

Gwen: Is this your multiverse?

EV!Sonic: Yeah. Quite a crazy concept, isn't it? It's something a good handful of us are aware of and know plenty about, but at the same time... it's something we know frighteningly little of.

Gracie: And that screen closest to us?

EV!Sonic: That's the "Prime" versions of me and Shadow. Essentially the focal point from which our universes, including mine, stemmed from.

Gracie: The Earth-Prime Theory? We don't have that back in my stretch of the multiverse. Then again, likely because "Boyfriend Prime" is consistently disconnected from all of us.

Gwen: And if there was a Spider-Man Prime, like in those comics, I doubt he'd be linked to any of our endeavours. So what did you bring us over for?

EV!Sonic: Well, I... I heard about what happened with those "Societies" in your corners of the multiverse, and that must really suck.

Gwen: It does. I swore my own group against Miguel and his strike force after Miles was the eye-opener I sorely needed.

Gracie: Same thing with me and Salty.

EV!Sonic: Well, I'd been starting up my own Society a few months ago, but I've been aiming to avoid the flaws Miguel and Cam have been doing, as I witnessed before I tried to catch The X before. Thing is...

He sighed in worry, looking towards them with concern.

EV!Sonic: I'm worried that I could screw things up in the long-run, and I don't want to fall into the same trap those two did, or worse. I just want to be a good leader for all these guys and not hold them in one place for so long.

Gwen: I mean, you do have them working part-time, right?

EV!Sonic: Yeah. Three days a week each at maximum, with our busiest being Fridays and Saturdays. And I don't work full-time, either, since we've two leaders.

Gracie: Well, our advice? Have good therapists on standby, treat everyone with utmost respect, don't enforce canon events, and things should be smooth sailing!

Gwen: Mhm. And if members need the rights, they're more than welcome to shuffle away from their work if need be. I mean, you guys in your universes, from what I heard, aren't usually alone in your work, right?

EV!Sonic: Yeah, not usually. We always have friends available to help hold the fort for us if their base heroes are here or helping at other multiverse corners. I mainly called you two here for your input, since I know you both had it horribly in those Societies.

Gwen: Yeah... My father quitting the police force was proof enough that canon events can be averted.

Gracie: Yeah. I guess that served as motivation for Benjamin as well to side with us in stopping The X.

EV!Sonic: Thanks, girls. I really appreciate it.

Gwen: Anytime! Guess we got some good advice out of our experiences. Heh, even though we're not the absolute best at it.

EV!Sonic: Yeah. Since your faction managed to severely weaken The X before, Gracie, I think there might be a chance that my faction's able to apprehend him. At least, with some backup this time.

Gracie: Yeah, good call. Even with me, Salty, XML and Goldie couldn't beat The X all on our own when he was getting stronger. So I wish you guys the best of luck with it.

EV!Sonic: Thanks. I mean, he was based on us, so we know what to expect out of him. You two should head back to your dimensions shortly, though. Your places might need you.

Gwen: Yeah, that's a good call. Let's swing it out of here!

Gwen thwipped a pair of webs to make her leave.

Gracie: So, you hoping to be a better place for Benjamin to work part-time?

EV!Sonic: I am, yeah, considering his ties to someone within the SEGAVerse. Well, see you around, Gracie.

Gracie: See ya! Oh, erm, I didn't catch your name before.

EV!Sonic (with a soft smile): Sonic the Hedgehog. And I'm not the only one.

They shared a nod to each other with respect before Gracie left.