#I shouldn't be on tumblr rn but I needed to get my thoughts out

[zbdragons]

Just finished rewatching cowboy bebop (I still haven't seen the movie tho) and I'm so glad I did because I was so young when I discovered it, I didn't remember most of it. And I knew I had liked it and it was very good but I truly did not appreciate it fully at the time. Not only do I notice now how amazing the settings are, how full of life the backgrounds, how diverse the characters, how good the fight scenes. But mostly the themes and the story had so much more impact on me the second time.

I can't be sure if it's just because I'm older, because I took my time and didn't binge it in one go between 12 other animes like I used to in middle school, or because of my headspace lately, probably a mix of the three. But I actually feel like it's now one of those show that'll stick with me for a very long time, even if I forget the details I don't think I'll forget the vibes and the kind of melancholy it carries. Not again.

[hotpinkboots]

jealous mando x fem reader please? reader meets someone while they're out and the guy starts flirting with her

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~Jealous!𝕯𝖎𝖓 𝕯𝖏𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓 x Fem!Reader Headcanons~

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I don't think you darlings know that I am audibly speaking to you because when I get a request I love it's an immediate "I LOVE YOU OH MY GOD" or a giggle and wiggle from me. I AM SPEAKING TO YOU PEOPLE OUT LOUD

THIS RIGHT HERE MADE ME GASP AND JUMP FROM MY SEAT THANK YOU

*insert more whining about how my black text option on Tumblr is still broken* so yeah it's boring and colorless :(

⭐REMEMBERRR THIS IS ALL PART OF THE MANDALORIAN SEASON 3 EVENT THINGY! Any requests I get with Mando will be done BEFORE any other requests in my inbox! This goes all week long!⭐

~Enjoy~

★★★★

𝕯𝖎𝖓 𝕯𝖏𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓

★★★★

~So you finally were able to pull Mr. Metal Head out of the ship-

~But then it went downhill.

~Let's say the guy was just chatting with you because he thought you were cute and not because he was a pervert.

~Din, as soon as he saw, walked over and just looked at him, trying to be intimidating but not cruel. Just a warning.

~Guy got the point and backed off, sulking a little and feeling embarrassed because he didn't know you were taken. Oops :(

~But let's say this guy will NOT stop trying to chat you up.

~Maybe you're talking back because 1. he's a funny guy, or 2. because you're humoring him.

~Either way, Mando's way more sensitive than one would think. He feels a sense of abandonment that he always has to deal with because people are always tryna betray him or be like "if I do this for you then you need to do this for me", and his parents, and now you look like you're having fun with this guy so like

~Are you happier?? he wants you to be happy :(

~He knows how God damn AWKWARD he is too and how he's not good with words really.

~So maybe you think he doesn't love you?? What is it?

~Not to mention the fact you aren't even allowed to see his freaking face.

~He's overthinking and watching from afar

~But then jealousy starts bubbling up

~And he's like

~Who does he think he is talking to her she's way out of his league

~Totally glaring and trying not to let jealousy control him.

~Eventually the dude leaves, and Mando comes back. He doesn't say anything yet but he's obviously way more stiff than he usually already is.

~So when you're both walking back to the ship he's silent and weird. Not because he's angry at you but because he's self conscious and wants to bring it up but doesn't want you to think he's saying you aren't loyal.

~"...He liked you."

~It's blunt but straight to the point. He's not gonna tip toe around the subject like it's something that shouldn't be talked about.

~Din ends up getting real close to you and looking down at you like the intimidating bitch he is. In your personal space. Like drop everything you're doing because he's serious rn.

~"Did you like him?"

~Don't tease him about it. If you start teasing him that he's jealous he'll hate it. Makes his chest heat up and his jaw clench, and he just ends up walking away from you.

~Also sorry but purposely trying to make your boyfriend jealous is gross behavior that just makes people self conscious and upset c'mon man

~So it's best if you actually explain the situation and reassure him about it. Communication is key to a healthy relationship. Din wants you to talk to him about stuff even if he doesn't really know how to respond. He'll try his best.

~So yeah overall he's overprotective and might immediately glare daggers at someone if they try for one second to flirt with you. Jealousy makes him self conscious and sulky, maybe even a little annoyed at you for entertaining it and causing it to continue on rather than just speaking up that you're taken.

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I have the biggest FATTEST URGE to write a oneshot for this darling oh my gosh

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Here's my Masterlist!

And here are the request rules!

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⭐REBLOGS⭐>💀LIKES💀

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Discord Server! Here you can roleplay with and as your favorite characters, get updates on my fanfiction, and get sneak peaks for my upcoming videogames!:

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~Love, PinkBoots

[vnmpior]

PIERCE ME  ☆ BABY !

MICHAEL ☆ AFTON (tattoo artist)

x reader

part one // part two

can be read alone!

summary: you and michael have been dating for some time now, ever since that day you met in the tattoo shop. you haven’t thought about getting a new tattoo, but there’s something else michael can do that’s been on your mind. . .

note: i have been able to get over tattooist michael he’s literally my best creation i love him. this is my first time actually typing and using tumblr on my computer so the layout rn is different

not proofread

“hey, michael?” you asked, you mumbled into his shoulder, both your arms wrapped around him like a koala.

“yes, love,” his eyes left the tv and then looked down at you.

“y’know how you do piercings?”

“of course i know i do piercings, y/n. what are you getting at?” 

you glanced up at him. “could you give me a piercing?”

michael broke out into a grin. “look at my little baby growing up! get ready so we can go.”

he proceeded to stand up, and you groaned as you slumped over the couch and michael went off to change clothes. he seemed even more excited to do this than you were.

he always talked about how good you would look with certain piercings, and you always turned him down or countered that’s because he looks so good with piercings, but you’ve changed your mind.

☆

you really don’t know why you did, because now that you’re sitting in the same chair from last time, you’re beginning to have second thoughts.

“what if i really don’t look good in this?” you frowned, watching as michael was looking for some titanium jewelry for whatever piercing you wanted after he had sterilized everything he needed to pierce you.

“then you could always wait until it heals and then take it out. don’t worry about it, love.” he brought over an assortment of rings and studs.

“so, what type of piercing do you want?” he tilted his head to the side like a puppy, his slightly curly mullet swaying with the motion.

“uh. . . a septum?” you hesitantly said.

michael looked surprised and then it turned to, once again, excitement.

“you’re gonna look so good in this! even though you're going to have to wait a while to even change your septum to this ring. i'll just bring it home so you don't have to wait when you can change it.” he said as he left one of the rings and proceeded to go back to put the rest away. when he came back, he was wearing the same black gloves that he tattooed you with.

“just relax, okay? if you move a little, i might pierce you a little off, and the septum is going to look weird, okay?” he put on the clear framed glasses that were lying on the side table, and man did he have no right to look that good with them on.

“i’ll be fine,” you responded, and he softly laid you down against the chair, which he began to lay back like it was a dentist appointment.

“i have to clean your nose real quick before we start,” he held up a q-tip and began to stick it inside your nose.

once he was done cleaning, he threw the q-tip away and grabbed something that looked like a purple-colored pencil.

"are you gonna draw me?" you questioned.

"i could," the corner of his mouth quirked up. " but this is for a guideline on the outside of your septum."

he leaned close enough for you to feel his breath and held the side of the colored pencil's lead to your nose so it would be a straight line.

he pulled away, set the pencil on the desk, and grabbed a metal tube and a thing that was probably going to be in your nose for the next few months.

"alright love, i need you to do a deep breath in through your nose and exhale out your mouth. i pierce when you exhale, so relax for me, if i get the right spot, it shouldn't hurt as much." he held the tube on one side of your septum and the needle on the other side.

you nodded, and took inhaled, and when you let out a breath, michael slowly pushed the rod in, and you let out a wince through the pain. it wasn't that bad, but it was really uncomfortable.

you felt the needle stop moving, and opened your eyes to see michael let go of the tube and instead had a pair of what seemed to be scissors in his hand.

this time, he hovered over you, his necklace and hair dangling over you. all his focus was on the rod, and he began twisting it around with the scissors. after a few minutes of him curving the metal, and twisting the ring around, he pulled away.

"you did it babe!" he angled the seat back up and handed you a mirror. "i think you look good with that. not like there's anything you wouldn't look good in."

you looked at yourself in the mirror, admiring the septum.

"thank you, michael," you smiled. "i love it!"

"i'll teach you how to take care of it when we get home. but for now, wanna get something to eat?" he slipped his gloves off and tossed them into the trash, offering his hand to you.

you accepted it.

"as long as your brother and sister don't find us."

he sighed. "you know they will. but before they come, we should totally think about getting some matching jewelry."

[threehuskiesinatrenchcoat]

Oh gosh it’s been a few days. Ngl I feel kinda bad for not leaving any dead birds, but I‘m working on something a bit bigger rn and it should be done soon, so yay!

I also started reading wayyy too many monster aus and it reminded me of the werewolf au you have for alegraves!!! I fuckin love them so much!!!! Idk if you talked about it anywhere, but how much do instincts affect Phillip (in both human and wolf form)? Does he do the funny teeth check thing? Can he be bribed with dog treats? How protective is he? He can growl, obviously, but can he purr? (I know that’s more a cat thing but many werewolf aus implement it)

I didn’t forget about the transformers au, that crack is what keeps me high rn fr

hi!!! i missed you

don't feel bad, i haven't been on tumblr much myself lately, too busy, but i'm glad to check back in and see you in my inbox haha

oh nice coincedence i've been thinking about that au again recently as well!! i have one ask i answered about it i think, but i haven't talked about it much sooo - he can keep himself in check in his human form, cause, well, it's kind of expected from him to mostly be collected because of his position and responsibilities. but i've drawn a couple things where he's partially shifted with like ears and tail and i had this idea that, since he's very emotional and fidgets a lot in canon, and his face and body language are very expressive... yeah, sometimes he wags his tail when he's excited, okay!! he can't help it if he's not actively focused on not doing that!!! you can't blame him!! - yes, it happened a couple of times when he was looking at ale. he said he was just thinking about something nice. alejandro connected the dots when they got together and he just kept doing that every time he sees him - he flicks his right ear when he's thinking about something really hard. alejandro thinks it's adorable - same with everything else basically. he gets the involuntary spark of interest but can redirect his focus onto something else - alejandro tried to make fun of him by giving him dog treats once and was promptly bitten on the hand. he still kept them as a snack tho. he just won't let alejandro have his moment of being a smartass. listen some of those things like,, biscuits,, those can actually be pretty nice - it's different in wolf form. like, he can still focus on the task at hand, but it's harder if it's not a serious pressing situation. sometimes you just need to be a silly goofy dog for a while to be happy and content with your day. sometimes you just need to go out into the woods with your besties to roll around in grass and chase after bugs. - yeah shadows in their wolf forms do that thing wolves do when they try to lick into your mouth to greet you and be affectionate - i haven't really thought about purring, but you know that thing when dogs yelp and whine and sneeze when they're excited? that. - he tries to restrict wolf sounds to wolf form. unfortunately sometimes when he's caught off guard he fails miserably - he's very protective and loyal, but only to special people. his shadows are his pack, he'd kill and die for them. alejandro, in some sense, has become a part of the pack for him as well, but he's also something else entirely. and what he has going on with shepherd shouldn't be confused with loyalty - you can't put a wolf on a tight leash and expect it to behave forever.

[skybrightpixie]

spoilers for e19!! i jus. I NEED TO TALK ABOUT MY OC RN. and i dont wanna disturb people just going through the reborn tag on tumblr who havent finished it.

currently thinking about how disconnected Auriga is from nearly every single person he talks to in Reborn and how he just doesn't talk at ALL to people he doesn't like.

he was brought into Team Meteor by a Fucking Freak Man name of Sirius, taught to remain loyal only to them, trained to close off his heart to do his job and "bring forth a new world," and was punished for showing vulnerability. he feels so repulsed by the idea of getting close to others because of how he grew up.

but there are. just a few people. who he feels okay talking to.

Luna was always nice to him, whether it was before or after he escaped Team Meteor. he feels the most comfortable around her even if she uses poetic language that he has a hard time understanding, sometimes. she's the one that gave him real hope because she escaped first (not that he even knew it was because Taka "ordered" her to do so—and also not that it would matter if he did).

when Luna was kidnapped by El, you KNOW Auriga rushed to save her, even if he wasn't completely conscious of the fact that he cared at all about her. and when he saved her, made it through the valley to her gym (glaring at Bennett on the way), and stepped in front of her, he thought You'd better stay safe from now on.

he also didn't feel uncomfortable around Taka when they were both in Meteor. sometimes Taka came with Luna to try and talk to Auriga, even if they all knew it wouldn't end up being a conversation. and when Auriga was in the WTC and saw how much Taka just wanted to help him and Titania get the Sapphire Bracelets, he refused to let Taka trap himself any longer, leaving without the battle Taka needed to avoid disappointing Solaris.

when Auriga found Taka in the desert, you know damn well he let him come with him, too. from an ex-Meteor to another, why shouldn't they both be afforded another chance to live without that group breathing over their shoulder? they adventured, they explored, and Auriga probably told him "Shut up. I don't want to hear it," whenever Taka slipped in some self-deprecating asides.

and then when Taka was stabbed within Titania's gym. OOH. Auriga had never felt his heart get crushed like that. the guy who he bonded with and felt a connection to due to something they shared. and now he's dead. Auriga didn't even sleep after battling Titania. how could he. he went straight to Amaria to avoid his thoughts, almost got completely drowned, and then shut himself off from people again until Saphira's gym battle.

to a lesser extent, Auriga was half-familiar with ZEL and Blake since they looked after Taka when he was younger. and to an even lesser extent he probably knew Cal, being Blake's brother obsessed with rivalry and all, at the time. Auriga probably never liked Blake or Cal since he only got to see him in passing, but ZEL is. like That. and hard to ignore. but since going on his journey alone and eventually seeing how they all turn out, he likely makes an attempt to sit and talk to them for a little bit during postgame! that's growth!

[jmagnabo92]

Hi! Sorry to bother, but i have a weird request... and I'm aware it's strange and I have no right to say anything about it since I'm not on discord and I'm not a content creator and I just enjoy reblogging stuff here on tumblr... and I'm also super-late to the party... But is there any chance you guys on discord could reconsider the name for Prongsfoot (romantic)? Maybe "inseparebel" or something, since we need something original enough that people won't clog up.... I know it may sound unfair to ask this of y'all as y'all already discussed about it and changed the ship name once already (maybe more), and really I'll understand if it's not possible because it's my problem, and you shouldn't have to lose more time on this, but it's just that bambibelle is associated with p*rn in my country and it creates some troubles sometime... (gosh I really hate that prongsfoot was invaded by platonic posts) I swear I know it's unfair, and I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing in asking, but I thought to try :) in case just say, "sorry, we can't" and I'll understand. Really! Thank you for listening and a big thank you to you and all the other James/Sirius fans and creators for your service! I truly appreciate it and love you guys a lot.

Sorry and thank you. Cheers, H.

Hello, I appreciate your polite request.

However, we do still use the Prongsfoot tag, so if you'd like to not use Bambibelle tag, that's alright. You can always use the Prongsfoot tag, no one is requiring anyone use 'Bambibelle'.

A big problem we have is that most of the ship names we CAN come with will be stolen by Jegulus and/or has already been taken by them and thus, we're stuck. Unless you have any ideas?

Hopefully, some day people will learn to respect the Prongsfoot tag and we won't need a different tag. It does appear that we might be making some headway with regards to the tag, so maybe someday, we'll get there.

Unfortunately, for now, it doesn't feel fair to have to change our tag AGAIN, when it's only been like six months since we changed it out of pure frustration. Plus, it's hard to come up with a ship name that would appropriately work and get the fandom to follow it. I feel like if others respected our tag that would be a better endeavor than changing the ship name.

So maybe reach out to people misusing that tag? Maybe that's the better choice.

But I do appreciate your request and I'm sorry to deny it.

Thanks for the ask. :)

[astraystayyh]

hi :))

i just read the invisible thread part 2, after reading part 1, only to remember everything. i feel very soft and full right now thanks to what you wrote and how you write. i already said something when i reblogged the first part, but i couldn't think of something specific to say about to second, so i just reblogged it too with my 5star tag and left it there. but i do want to say thank you. i am having a very rough week for personal reasons and overthinking and those kinds of things teens like me suffer so often these days, but this morning i was lying in bed with horrible cramps and i remembered you had posted the second part to invisible thread recently, so i was willing to read it.

and i did, ofc. but the thoughts i have rn are like -i would say philosophical haha. i think the way you write helps people to understand the way they feel. i mean, i had this feeling all the time, like i should be screenshoting everything or at least being able to have the capacity of highlight some quotes like i do when i am rrading a book with my post its and my markers. all you write is absolutely beautiful, but this work you did with invisible thread will always live in my heart in some sort of way.

i am a firmly believer that we shouldn't accept anything that we don't deserve, but sometimes is hard to understand what we deserve when we are very caught up in our minds. the way you described how not only minho but also yn cared for each other, and how they learnt to be better and grew as individuals is truly admirable, and i think everyone should have the chance to read this once in their lives in order to understand a lot of things about love, and human behavior. i don't know how to say it or if i am explaining myself correctly. and even if it seems like i am crazy or something because is just some writting that someone wrote for fun to post here in tumblr, i can assure you for me is not only that.

i am in a time of my life where i am supposed to build my future self, and things like this (and quotes and thoughts i found on pinterest haha) really help me to create a world of mine where it is okay with having a bad day, or not knowing what to feel, or craving a real romantic conexion, or spending a whole afternoon procrastinating just because i didn't feel like going out and socialise. i really identify with yn, and i look forward to finding the comfort and refuge that she found in minho someday. meanwhile, you inspire me to practise so i can, somehow, somewhere in the future, get to write something as beautiful and deep as this was.

sorry for the rambling, feel free to not share/answer this, and have a lovely morning/afternoon/night ❤️‍🩹

hiii my love, thank you so much for sending in such a sweet message 🥹 i hope you're feeling better these days and I'm so happy i.t brought you some comfort :")) this truly means the world to me like I can't believe you think so highly of something i wrote ☹️ it genuinely makes me the happiest and i still can't comprehend it fully, so thank you for telling me this <3

take it slow, don't rush yourself to have it all figured out, it takes time and you need to be patient and gentle with yourself throughout it, even if you make mistakes and bad decisions, this is the only way in which we grow,, if you're kind to yourself then at the end of the day, everything will be okay, promise <333

[mishkakagehishka]

Was doing my pre-sleep enstars grinding and, like one does, i zoned out and spent most of the last 30min thinking ab the valkyrie interactive horror thingie so let me elaborate (and rant) on that for a moment, just to get all my thoughts and (over)ambitious plans out

So, firstly, the concept. I was thinking, it's a shame I'm a writer blog with the Living Doll Mika pfp - my fave cardset - yet I wrote nothing inspired by those cards. The idea came to mind of a haunted house (this is a recurring theme with me, you'll notice, I simply love haunted architecture), the masters of which are Shu and Mika. Now, those two are, I'm thinking, either spirits or possessed dolls. I'm leaning more towards semi-material spirits, because lifesized dolls... i'm not too sure on that? But, I have some time to iron out the details.

Anyway, the point is, they're part of the haunting, but- Shu found out recently that they're not actually Alive, and Mika, I'm thinking doesn't yet know. Just to add a lil angst to it, though I might remove this part and simply reuse it for a separate fic, we can recycle. What I'm saying is, the mischievious spirits are the masters of the house, so when a stranger starts poking around where they shouldn't, it's up to them to get rid of the intruder. And so starts the cat-mouse game of Shu trying to lure them into traps and Mika trying to catch them off-guard and, well... his hands are caked in all that dried blood for a reason, no? The stranger (the protag, that means, you, the reader♡) tries to evade them, outsmart them all the while. The goal is to gtfo, naturally.

Now as for the logistics... I decided I didn't like the idea of polls. I don't think it's a good idea, considering it'd make it feel? Time-limited? Like, you have to read as it's written, or you're too late and there goes the fun. It also feels lame, like, rather than the majority's choice, I's want anyone to be able to choose what they want to do. I'd rather write out all the branches. I was thinking I might want to track down one of those websites/programmes that can make visual novels/dating sims. Though I'd have to find a text-based one, I think they exist since I have heard of a text-only dating sim. However, if I don't find it, or can't figure out how to work it, we'll just make do with hyperlinks;;; stuff like "make your choice" and links to the following parts seems sloppy, but it's practical, and I think a good way to go about it. Maybe. I'd rather have a "game", though, since I could implement more choices and even dialogue branches.

Speaking of which. I wanna have bad endings, I wanna have two neutral endings, and I wanna have The Good Ending. But I also wanna add two secret romantic endings. Just for the lols. The bad endings, of course, would be the protagonist dying. One neutral ending, I want to be "the protag escapes, but the spirits have connected to them" i forgot the word, but you know, when a spirit starts following you? That sorta stuff. Kinda "you survived the house, but you're not safe". The second neutral ending, I want to be "the protag escapes, the spirits remain in the house", and the good ending, I want it to be "the spirits have moved on", because that feels somehow? Good to me? I need to give them a violent backstory to give them a reason to remain. I think it could work for the "we're still alive" delusions, too, if they can't even move on. And the secret romantic endings, well, one of the spirits falls in love. A bad ending, if you think about it.

But that's about all i have in mind rn. I'll write up an outline and the most important branches when I get home, and then go hunting for visual novel making stuff. I think I found a masterpost on tumblr once, I'll try to find it again. If not! We're using links <3

[thatonespriteobsessedbitch]

ok bad batch finale time! here's my thoughts!

The Summit

ok I'm so scared rn, the opening credits haven't even finished and I'm terrified for my babies

please please go save him

yes tech!!! family comes first

ok I didn't like Phee at first but her interacting with Megs 🥹

oop tech and Phee moment

lmao tech can't do emotions (yk what, same tho)

(cue tiktok sound "walk him like a dog sis, walk him like a dog")

poor tech he's so fucking confused 😂

that fucker is back 😒

I hate this doctor so much

his voice annoys me

also fuck tarkin, what an ass

low-key so mad at hunter but it is what it is

bad enough that he left cross on the platform but trying to argue that they shouldn't go rescue cross makes me so mad

(believe it or not, at one point I was a hunter girlie and not a cross girlie)

which planet is raxus again??? tbh they're all blending together at this point

lol omega is joining wreckers scared of height club

gd tech is doing something to me today

don't get caught guys, please don't get caught

I did not have hunter willingly killing multiple troopers on my tbb bingo card

*brief intermission in my tbb commentary to inform you that my cats are wrestling and the older one (spock) refuses to just deck Hex when he's annoying him*

again, this dr pisses me off

"test subjects" well that is definitely not ethical

again, fuck tarkin

wtf is project star dust

techs little leggings 🤣 I love them so much

mouse droids!!!!!

stay focused on the mission guys ffs

run omega run

ok prediction: they're not the only ones breaking into the summit

called it lol

tbh saw gerrera really pisses me off, idk why tho

and covers blown lmao

stormtroopers wearing Corrie red hurts my soul so much

let me guess, saw gerreras team is going to grab the one shuttle they aren't supposed to grab

nope they just blew up the ship instead

I don't think they're gonna save crosshair

are we gonna get a season 3????

Plan 99

please I want them to save my boy

please Filoni I'm begging you

I already know something is gonna happen to tech (I opened up tumblr to block all the spoilers tags and unfortunately there was a whole bunch of spoilers on my dash 🙁)

tarkin just really doesn't care about his own troops huh

run tech run

fuckkkkkkkk

tech is gonna die

wrecker is too heavy, he'll make it worse hunter

omg I'm literally sobbing

tbh this was not how I wanted to start my day 😭

tech's dead honey, he won't hear you mega

wreckers little neck brace 😂

don't fucking tell me, that after tech sacrificed himself, that you aren't going to go try and save crosshair

you've already lost one brother, you don't need to lose another

omg they're gonna have to tell Phee 😭

cid sold them out

wait maybe they'll get taken to the same place as cross!!!

ah for fuck sake

it's doctor asshole again

yk they were kinda stupid to go back to ord mantell

cid told them this was gonna happen if they showed face again

and omega is playing right into their hands

doctor asshole brought up tech and wreckers reaction was my reaction

Hemlock is such a fucking dick, like giving hunter his brother's cracked goggles and saying that's all he could salvage?!?!!

I hate him more than krell

"she's long gone" except she's literally venting lmao

god I hate him

at least he found echo

"why did they bring me here?" because they needed Nala Se to cooperate

wait are we gonna find out how the emperor did the thing he did in the sequel trilogy???

don't tell me she's gonna see cross barely alive

for fuck sake the empire is traumatizing this child so fucking much

omg the assistant or something is her template I'm calling it right now

ok I mean I was close, they're sisters so I'm not far off

omega don't look so surprised, it's kinda obvious

so anyways I think that's practically confirmation of a season 3

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

FIRST OF ALL DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR DISAPPEARING?? if tumblr is not a full time job then you don't need to keep up with it everyday 😭😭

ALSO 🫨 ANON IS ACTUALLY PERFECT. I LOVE IT. my og emoji anon idea was just like. a duck. SORRY FOR STRESSING YOU OUT AHJGHJWHJ

BUT YOU ARE CRAZY CREATIVE WDYM?? i second (or third) the anon saying you shouldn't limit yourself because your writing is actually beautiful!! you are AMAZING so don't let anything get in ur way!!

anyways what are your thoughts on like mean!svt. cuz mean!joshua and mean!wonwoo have me in a metaphorical headlock rn.

-(with love from) 🫨 anon

I STILL FEEL BAD OKAY

IM GLAD YOU LIKE THAT IDEA 😭😭 A DUCK WOULD HAVE BEEN SO CUTE TOO!!

ALSO. Bro. Mean Joshua is ALWAYS IN MY HEAD BECAUSE OF THE LATE KAESPAS TUMBLR ACCOUNT IM SO IN LOVE WITH IT 😭 SHE WROTE-

Oh my god anon i was in the middle of responding to your mean!shua, woo ask and I DIDNT FINISH IT WAS IN MY DRAFTS I DID GET IT IM SO SORRY

SOMETIMES I START RESPONDING TO ASKS BUT GET DISTRACTED SO I DRAFT THEM I THOUGHT I HAD FINISHED ANSWERING THIS I AM SO. SORRY.

[thebigsick]

venting in the safe house

if someone finds me on tumblr then i gotta end it all. just somewhere to speak my mind, hopefully find relief for the thoughts having. i keep thinking someone is coming behind me but its 12:30. i find myself in a redundant cycle of "attachment" issues with people, i want to leave the only real "friends" i have and just be myself, or just ghost everyone i know because everything so far has just been a waste of time. all the time shared with my friends was for nothing as i realize i "don't even really like them". I start thinking that and it's not real, it's not true, it's probably not honest. I see everyones lives progressing and moving in a great direction, the way id want mine to be but it feels like i just keep getting held back for a reason. i keep feeling like i have no real attachment to these people. at the end of the day, after all the things we do and say like getting food and laughing or making fun of other people, there is nothing solid between and any of them. they all wanna hang out with each other and some people just between them, but never everyone. sometimes i'm excluded and usually i get it; people do their own thing and i shouldn't be reliant on others for my happiness but they are supposed to be -my friends-. when i'm bored i talk with -my friends-, when i want to hang out i message -my friends-, when i have problems i can tell -my friends-. it's not like that tho and i get i can't have it they way "I want to", i just wish i some form of that. it feels like everyone has a much stronger bond to each other except me. i'm a loose end, it doesn't matter that much if i am there when they're hanging out or not. it seems like everyone has that thing to back to, that thing to fall back onto, that safety pad but i don't. I can't explain it that well but i will try. i don't think i'm close with anyone enough to rely on them the way everyone has/does.

i feel lonely around this time of year, it's annoying. i have been telling myself i dont need anyone for a long time, now it feels like the castle of lies ive built for myself is coming crashing down. i think someone like me, someone in my situation or in my position should have a kind of person like that, but no. idk why i think especially me but i think that would be nice. it would be great to have that sort of connection. its so late jeez work tmr too. i think ive been trying to fill my time/ keep my myself busy to avoid feeling like this. it has worked so far but it feels the effect just wore off. maybe this is a moment of weakness but the feelings have stuck with me for some time. iv'e had these thoughts many times before but never got them together and written them down. again, i wish i could tell someone i trust this instead.

my worst fear coming from this is that my friends will move on past me and hang out with each other because they are closer or have more similar personalities. i know our friends aren't perfect but it feels like their flaws are being amplified right now. i gotta brush my teeth.

ok done. my airpods are shit too. had some time to reflect and these thoughts will probably age poorly, whatever. i think i said "but" too much, its ok. i think this form of venting is helpful for me because it's like im telling someone this. i know no one is gonna see it yet it feels like the only way to could actually relieve myself from the dark room my mind is in rn. i hope it gets better. its 1am. idc we up already so long atp couple minutes cant make much difference. I wish someone was there for me emotionally. i dont think i have a "ton of baggage" but for the basic stuff. i dont know how my mom does it. just her, for years. she has more actual problems too. she is the strongest no doubt.

it doesn't seem like anyone actually wants -me-. if we are talking about making jokes, playing the game, music making talk, it's great. but when it comes to real, deep, ego-hurting feelings we all have, im a ghost. no one turns to me or think i need someone to turn to.

you know it might actually be partly my fault for not being vulnerable but that's only because i have some trust issues i think. just wish i had that one person, that ride or die, that go out "guns-a-blazin" person. im 16 now and im feeling like i might never get that person for myself. its like there was a pre-partner choosing period that i missed and now that we started, i'm stuck by myself.

im definitely not ugly or anything like that so i dont issues of that stuff, its purely rejection. lets say if i start talking to a girl i like, what i think very likely will happen will be this: we start talking, i do most of talking, the start and end of the conversation. she is clearly not interested in me but is just messaging because shes bored. she tells her friends about how i keep messaging her and dont stop. i try to move past the talking stage and she shuts it down. things are weird with us and i try to talk to someone about it and *poof*. nothing.

this music is really my main thing 🤞🏾. listening to it and making it has been there everyday for me for years. people must think i have it figured it out, right? There isn't a support system for this stuff. I MEAN theres OBVIOUSLY the "yo ur music is acc fire" comments all the time which i am honestly grateful for but it doesn't seem like anyone truly cares about this shit as much i do at all and you know, that's ok. if that was my only issue i had, id be that guy fr. it's just another thing.

i hope i find it tho, so badly, i think it would be such a positive impact on my life. maybe this music shit could get me that attention im so badly craving but probably not. is that it tho? am i just craving attention? is the lack of attention in my life effecting everything else? i hope this inspires me to go find that someone. i essentially want that special someone is what ive been trying to say this whole time but when i say it like this, i just think "wow buddy, you and everyone else".

[the-furies]

so likw does anyone remember p.wr b.ttm

[lemonhobgoblin]

Harvest Moon

Bo Sinclair x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Length- 3K

A/N: I had this done but then Tumblr did a fucky wucky and deleted my post, might re-edit this at some point; but rn I just want this out of my drafts. So hopefully you enjoy what I manage to salvage and fix.

Leaves and gravel crunching together beneath Bo's feet, with a chorus of toads croaking, the shrill and chirps of cicadas and crickets resounding through on this humid summer night. All the while the stars shining overhead, splattered all over the night skies with the full moon’s rays illuminating the land with a blueish silver sheen, hitting against the jagged protruding surface that was caught within the light’s path.

It has been an exhausting day for Bo, with a new batch of victims driving into town with 'unfortunate' car issues and Bo doing what Bo does best. Flashing that sweet southern hospitality, coming to their aid, and utilizing his charismatic personality to gain their trust. Smirking and smiling that world-famous toothy grin, putting on an elaborate show to conceal his murderous intentions that laid shrouded beneath the curtains of their quiet small town of Ambrose.

Alas, Bo and Vincent had encountered some difficulties with the visitors. Like any other normal human wanting to stay alive. There was some kicking and screaming, and it wouldn't be a fight for survival without a good old fashion chase. It wasn't anything they couldn't handle, but to say the least, their victims did put up a good fight. Unfortunately, not good enough. As they were hunted and dragged into Vincent’s workstation to be worked on and added to their array of wax figures.

Admittedly that didn't leave Bo without a few deep gashes and bruises, he knew he would be sore in the following morning. And not wanting to hear mouthfuls from you about getting blood on the sheets, Bo locked himself in his gas station to mend himself until he made the rest of the way home. Wanting nothing more than to relax with a cold beer, before heading off to bed with you.

Sighing, he ran a hand through his damp hair slicking it back with ease. A slight breeze brushing past his exposed neck offering remedy to his sweat-covered skin.

The shared home where he resided with you was in full view. He should have felt alleviated at the fact he was finally home. But he saw someone seated near the front door overlooking the yard looking straight ahead at him, and a faint voice being spoken aloud. Did he miss a person?

Drawing out his pocket knife, he continued his pace toward the person, a thousand questions running through his head. Did they do anything to you? Did you manage to get far away? Or were you somewhere inside in a pool of your blood? His jaw clenched at the thought as his knuckles whitened around the handle of the blade.

"Welcome home sweetheart." you greeted warmly, revealing to Bo that it was only you, before taking a quick slug of your beer. The voice he heard came from a radio near you finishing off a tune before cutting to a commercial.

Silently cursing at you for giving him one hell of a scare. He placed the knife back into his pocket.

Aggravated, Bo marched towards you, grabbing the bottle from your grasp with no resistance, he took a quick swig.

"Shouldn't you be in bed by now?" Bo questioned, crossing his arms over his chest, with a displeased look in his eyes.

"I thought about it, but I really wanted to see you come home safe and sound," you replied nonchalantly.

"I always come back in one piece” Raising his arms from his sides, showing he was in good shape, going as far as doing a quick whirl showing he was fine before dropping his arms back to his sides. “See no need to worry, I can take care myself."

"I know you can, but it doesn't stop me from worrying about your safety." You’ve know he can take care of himself in more ways than one. Hell, you’ve seen him go full-on berserk the moment he saw a victim trying to run into your home as a place to hide. And what a mistake that was. That was the most brutal you have ever seen Bo. But even he if is capable, it’s still doesn’t hide the range of injuries Bo always acquired from their lovely visitors.

"How long were you out here?" His eye locked on you, staring dagger into you.

"The moment I heard what I assumed was the last blood-curdling scream of the night."

"What I tell you when we have visitors."

"To stay inside till you give the all-clear." You said looking away from him, you already knew where this conversation was going.

"And whaddya do instead?" he continued to press.

"Came out” you sighed, “Bo, I can handle myself, what's the point of giving me this then?" Revealing a revolver from under your seat showing it to him.

"Like hell, you can. What if something bad happens to you and that gun doesn't do you shit." His voice rising with each word that spilled from his mouth. You understood, where he was going with all this, but you were still more capable of taking care of yourself. You haven’t seen if you can yet, but if needed, you sure as hell will try to. And he was clearly about to go off on a tangent, not wanting the night to sour, and Bo to stress out, even more, you tried to put a cease to this.

"Bo."

"That gun is a last resort if you got cornered!"

"Bo."

"What you did was fucking stupid as hell, making yourself an open target!”

"Bo."

"What!"

"Please, I don't want to get into this right now. I just want to relax and you're welcome to join me if you like. If you do, I would appreciate it very much. Please." Taking his unoccupied hand within your own hands.

He withdrew his hand, chugging down the remaining alcohol, before heading inside the shared home, the door swinging shut behind him. On the outside you heard his heavy footsteps stomping around, you could hear his muffled curses and rants. My, you knew he was loud, but you didn’t realize he was this loud. Shaking your head at the little fit he was having inside the home, it wasn’t long till you burst into a fit of laughter when you heard what sounded like him knocking over something and spitting more profanities. Hearing his approaching footfalls near the entrance, you tried to stifle your laughs from escaping.

“What are you laughing at?” Bo sneered, having another cold beer in hand.

Clearing your throat, you mumbled a quick “Nothing.” as you smiled warmly at him. He shook his head at you in disagreement as he turned his attention out toward the yard. Not speaking a word to one another, the both of you just stared off into the distance.

The radio you had next to you shifted out from the ads and back to playing music. A string of guitar chords playing out on the stereo, an upbeat tune that was slow and smooth. The notes lifting and carrying your mind, elevating your current mood, and conjuring up a daydream. A daydream that you could make into reality with the simple part of your lips and hope that Bo would be voluntary to your simple request. Internally praying this would put him in good mood and this would make up for what you did.

You leaned over in your seat toward Bo. “Could you do me the honor of a dance?”

“What are you going off about?” Not catching what you said to him. Visibly irritated from what happened earlier, as he avoided looking in your direction.

“A dance?” you repeated.

He rolled his eyes thinking this was some sort of game you were playing at. One moment the air was clouded with tension, and now this, you were something. But the moment he looked your way, you had an eager look to you almost like a pleading little puppy. Damn, he couldn’t say no to that, but he wasn’t going to relent that easily. “You’re bullshitting me.”

Standing from your seat you held a hand out for him to grab if he was willing to take it. “Then humor me then.”

Rolling his eyes, he put his beer to the side and bitched to himself before taking your soft hand in his rough callous hand. "You're lucky you're cute." Annoyed but amused by your harmless gesture, telling you he was just going to humor you but you knew better.

Drawing you in, he hooked an arm around your waist bringing you closer as you wrapped an arm around his neck. While you lead with your other hand that was still clasped together with his, after sensing Bo's reluctance. And it didn't take long till Bo took lead, not wanting to be led around like a dainty little thing. You could only smile to yourself, knowing if you mentioned it or laughed about it, he would put a full stop to all this.

You both swayed and circled in a slow rhythmic tempo. It was nice stepping along to every note of the melodic air under the faint pale moonlight in each other’s arms. And yet, you couldn't shake Bo's earlier outburst. Incapable of treating his burst of anger like it was nothing. You felt compelled to further explain yourself to Bo to clear the air. You were always taught to never go to bed mad and talk things out. And that's what you were going to do.

“Bo?”

“What is it now?”

"The reason I was out tonight was because..." you trailed feeling initial confidence beginning to slip.

"Was because?" he repeated, waiting for you to explain yourself.

"It was because I was scared," you confessed.

“Scared? What’s gettin’ ya scared?”

Clenching at the back of his shirt. Hiding your face away from him. “You, whenever you walk out the front door. I can’t help but think that would be the last time I see you,” Your step began to lessen, your movements beginning to still, this in turn nearly bringing Bo to a halt. Your grip on Bo’s hand stiffened, the fear that has been plagued your mind for many nights taunted you as it would be brought to light in one night. “That one day there is gonna be some visitors that’s gonna get the upper hand on you and I wouldn't know what to do if anything happened to you."

Taken aback by what you said, he never realized that you shared the same fear as he held with you. With him, it was the dread of you getting caught in the middle of his murder spree. Completely oblivious to the anxiety that resided within you. He knew you always fussed over him, whenever he came home, and he always played it off like it wasn't a big deal; believing it you were acting motherly toward him, he did appreciate your concern, but he never looked deeper into it. All he wanted was for you to stay out of harm's way, that's why he barked at you for being out. Damn, he felt like shit.

"Hey, darling look at me nothing bad like that is gonna happen, and ain't nothing bad happened now. I'm here with you see, they ain’t no match for me.” Peering up at him, seeing that cocksure smirk of his. You snorted, thumping your head back against his chest.

"That cockiness is what gonna be the end of you." You deadpanned, starting back up with the steps.

"Well, this cockiness got me this far right and your attention when we first." He retorted.

"That and you chased me around town with your shotgun."

"You warmed up to me when I'll let ya live."

You leaned back and with a dumbfounded look, "You mean you warmed up to me, I remember you being extremely grumpy and stern with me when you let me live. And if I'm not mistaken, Lester convinced you to let me off after I made a good impression with him. Pretty sure you also wanted to keep me for yourself in the first place didn't you."

"Aw shut up, that’s not how remembered it." he pulled you back into his chest, smiling as you giggled at him.

He knew you were right. Only felt like yesterday when you rolled into town, you were going cross country for some personal road trip. And you just happen to stumble upon this dead town. Like any other visitor, you were given the same treatment and routine the Sinclair's recounted many times. The only hitch was you Lester got chummy with one another in a cinch, acting as if you knew each other all your life. That was enough for Lester to convince Bo to let you live as a fresh face in town but on Bo’s condition that you stay and not get in his way.

And it would be weeks before you considered Lester and Vincent as actual friends, but it would be much longer for the man before you. Then another few months or so that you became his partner. How that happened with this hot-blooded man was a different story altogether, but you were patient and adamant with him in short. And Bo couldn't be more grateful for you and for not killing you off. How much he cares about is an understatement, but he would never say it out loud.

"You think that way, but that's what happened," you smirked, getting the last say. He pinched your butt, making you jump in surprise. Bo snickered at your little reaction, getting in his version of his final say, which made you lightly slapped the back of his head feigning disapproval of his actions. You readjusted yourself, linking both arms around his neck, making Bo taking his free hand down to your waist, bringing you in closer to him. You felt absolutely relieved that you got that weight off your chest and seeing his anger subside.

When we were strangers

I watched you from afar

When we were lovers

I loved you with all my heart

"Don't go around blabbing any of this to the others." He remarked.

"I would never." You lied, willing to pay the price for telling his brothers about how much of a softy he was. “And you shouldn't tease me about this later." you reciprocated.

"Wouldn't dream of it darlin'," he promised, but you knew full he was going to mercilessly poke you about this later. But right now, he was genuinely enjoying this quiet moment with you.

“We should do something like this again sometime.” toying with the ends of his hair.

“Like hell, we will, you’re gonna have to convince me otherwise.” He snorted; he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Whereas deep down, he secretly would do this again, but you were going to have to initiate it. He wouldn’t be caught dead begging for more like this, probably once in a blue moon. Sinking his hands down to your rump, giving you a generous grope. “Only if we do my idea fun.” he breathed into your ear.

Shivering from his hot breath, you tugged his hair back as you leaned upon him. “And how can I pass up on that.” you purred.

He grinned in response, but right now he wanted nothing more than to unwind with you. Releasing you from his arms, dipping down to grab his beer before taking your chair “Let me take a seat.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t tap out sooner.” You poked.

“You asking to be sent straight to bed sweetheart.” He humored you already so humor him by sitting down with him. Moving your hand to signal that you were zipping your mouth shut and tossing an imaginary key carelessly away.

“Thought so.” He patted his leg for you to sit, and you graciously accepted his invitation; seating yourself across his lap, your legs swinging over the side. Bo sighed, bringing you closer toward him with one arm. Resting it on your thigh, to secure you in place as he rubbed small circles into your outer thigh with the pad of his thumb. “Happy now?”

“Absolutely. You?” you breathed out in utter content. Nestling your head under his chin.

“Would’ve better if we waltzed our way in the bedroom and I show you a few moves or two.” He joked. As much as he would have loved to end the night with a bang. You were both too tired to act on it and why stop this tender moment. He would most likely act upon his sexual desire in the morning.

"Do you want to go to bed?" he asked, noticing how your eyes were rested close.

"Not yet." Peeking an eye open, you countered the question. Also noticing how his eyelids were beginning to droop. You fluttered your eyes once more. "You ready for bed?"

"Just until I finish all this." Bo swished the remaining contents of his bottle.

"(Y/n)?" he breathed out.

You hummed in response

"I love you," he said, burying a kiss on the top of your head.

"I love you too." you returned the gesture, sliding a hand to cheek so you could give him a peck on his chin. He adjusted himself giving you better access to his lip for a proper kiss, he wasn’t settling for a peck. The kiss wasn’t rough but a surprisingly chaste and sweet kiss. Pulling away you rested your foreheads against one another.

“I’m sorry about earlier, you know me being out,” you whispered.

“We just kissed and made up, darlin’. So shut that pretty little mouth of yours.” As much as Bo wanted to apologize for his actions and confess his reasoning for lashing out at you. He wanted nothing more but to savor this time together. Bo grabbed your head, resting it securely back on his chest. Hearing his heart beating rhythmically within his chest almost going in time with the melody.

Because I'm still in love with you

I want to see you dance again

Because I'm still in love with you

On this harvest moon

You both sat there for the remainder of the song letting it play out to the end, as you both took in everything and enjoying each other’s company for as long as the world was willing to have it. For you, both knew that you would be each other side through thick and thin to the very end.

[intergrader]

I wanted to redo my post on the asexuality discourse because it was all over the place and some of my opinions have changed, so here it is.

1. Asexuals shouldn't be a part of the lgb community because they aren't oppressed.

What I think matters is that our experiences still differ from the norm, heterosexuality, even if it's less than other identities. It's present in little things to big things - from seeing sex in media and being repulsed at the thought of doing it ourselves to corrective r*pe. If there's some range of oppression you need to face to be a part of the community, then feel free to cut us out I guess (although that just seems ridiculous imo). What's important is that asexuals and those who are questioning are able to find resources and outlets, even if there's less exposure after being shunned by the community. In other words, asexuals should be able to have their own community and spaces. The problem is, we can't. At least on tumblr, I've seen numerous ace themed blogs or posts get invaded by exclusionists when anything relevant to the discourse wasn't mentioned at all. Please just let us be, even if you can't accept us.

2. Heteromantic asexuals especially!

Again, everything mentioned above. Straight passing privilege is only received by not being able to talk about our identity.

3. Gray asexuals don't exist because asexuality isn't a spectrum; you're asexual and you don't experience sexual attraction or you aren't.

The only logic I can find for this is the etymology of the word, so I'd assume this is due to a misconception. Gray asexual should not be a label for allies who want to be a part of the community to hide behind, nor for those who are really just allosexual. If someone feels significantly less sexual attraction than what would be considered normal, enough to warrant them relating to both asexuality and other labels such as homosexuality, but not fully to either, they should be able to find others who feel the same.

Actually, I agree with this.

demisexual (someone who does not experience sexual attraction until they have formed a deep emotional connection with someone) = so you don't want hookups

fictosexual (umbrella term for anyone who experience exclusive sexual attraction toward fictional characters, a general type of fictional characters, or whose sexuality is influenced by fictional characters) = wth

fraysexual (someone only experiences sexual attraction towards those that they are not deeply connected with and lose that attraction as they get to know the person) = considering asexual generally means lack of sexual attraction, I don't see how this should be an identity

inactsexual (when one experiences sexual attraction and desires a sexual relationship despite being sex-repulsed) = have no idea how you can be repulsed by sex but still want it, could be similar to comphet but I doubt it

lithosexual (may experience sexual attraction but does not want it reciprocated) = again, how is this an asexual identity

reciprosexual (someone who does not experience sexual attraction unless they know that the other person is sexually attracted to them first) = so you just want to make sure the feeling's mutual before so you don't get your heart broken, how is this why is this

aceflux/acespike (someone whose sexual orientation fluctuates but generally stays on the asexual spectrum) = seems like the only valid one. Again, please make sure you're not just an ally or an allosexual member of lgb that has internalized homophobia or something. Additionally, make sure your lower sex drive isn't an effect of medication or the like.

In conclusion, the ace spectrum just seems like where "orientations" go when there's not really a category for them (that post saying most things on the lgbtq wiki were based on random tumblr posts definitely seems accurate rn). The only identity I was supporting when writing the crossed out above section was aceflux/acespike. My stance on this is definitely still iffy considering I haven't heard of an agreed upon definition of the amount of sexual attraction one experiences normally.

4. R*pe is something everyone experiences, not just asexuals

The difference is that this is corrective r*pe, i.e. it was done because of sexuality and the want of heteronormativity.

5. The split attraction model is harmful.

This one is actually pretty interesting. The main arguments seem to be misleading people with internalized homophobia and sexualizing identities too much. I'd agree that it probably does hurt some people. However, lgb talks a lot about internalized homophobia and how to deal with it, especially when just joining the community. Plus, many people don't even know about the split attraction model what with so little people being ace or aro and it does a lot more good than harm by allowing people to set further requirements they're comfortable with. As for the latter point, I don't see how saying ace bi or bi ace is so different from saying biromantic asexual. It means the same thing. Just like how if you only say you're bisexual, people are going to assume you mean biromantic bisexual.

[artisticzaati]

Oh! Omg, I'm so sorry to hear that these aren't happy months for you.

Don't hate your art! It's amazing! It's unique! I've never seen a style quite like it. And your followers/likes/reblogs really don't matter that much. Know that there are probably a ton of people out there who have seen your art and admire it greatly but don't have accounts or anything! I was one of those people for a while.

Your art is a masterpiece. Every single piece is amazing, I swear. And you can draw waaaaaaaay better than me, so you got that goin for ya-

But your art rivals that of some more popular artists'. And I mean it.

As for being in a state of mental depression, I know, I have the same problem rn. I end up hating myself on most days and it's...not fun. The only thing that makes me feel different is other people saying, "Hey, you're a really great person!" Just makes my day. And that may not go for you as well, but if it does, just know this:

You are an awesome, unique person with incredible talent and a wonderful personality. Every piece you draw? It makes at least one person from somewhere in the world very happy. Makes them pound on their bed and smile in absolute bliss *koff koff me*.

So many people love you. You are so very loved and will always be. Someone will always care about you, will always have your back. Whether it's one of your random followers on Tumblr like me or someone close to you in your life. Even when days get hard, know that someone out there is looking out for you, ready to give you a pep talk or a hug or whatever you may need.

Zyrus, I love what you do. Even if you don't post them, keep at drawing, even if it's only one piece per month or year. Unless, of course, each piece brings you incredible pain. Then you should stop.

Don't ever give up on life. Because even though life is cruel, your friends/family aren't. They'll always try to help you through whatever you're going through, no matter how rough.

Have a safe, healthy, and hopefully happy life, until we meet again. I'll miss you.

I'm sorry this took so long to reply, I wanted to keep it in my inbox to look over again but I also don't want you to think I never got the message. So I'm going to reply to it...

I'm... honored. I really am. This is so incredibly nice for you to say and I wish I could express how I feel with words but I cannot.

Just over all... I'm grateful. For people like you that actually do like what I post even if I'm not feeling that great about it. It's you all that keep me posting. I know I shouldn't let the bad thoughts take over, but it's been very hard lately.

I'll come back. After see this and a few others in the inbox I'm feeling a lot better. Thank you for taking your time of the day to send this my way - I truly appreciate it.

[tac-confessions]

Hi, I'm Hawkii, one of the few curators of the team of bga. I have a few things I wanna say. And one of those is an apology. I've recently stepped down for the second time. I've been selfish, and not taking my actions seriously. Some things said here is a bit sensitive and may be triggering I just want to say what's been going on, what I've done, and why I'm not a good person at all. My health has not been the best, mentally and physically. I'm not gonna be on much in the amino. I don't like getting into what Ive done but I do need to apologise because as someone who is special to many people in the community I see it I have to be responsible, and that I need to carry on with this. I can't hide or play victim, I'm turning 18 in a couple of months from now and I know that many young people see me as a inspiration and that I can do no wrong. Just because I'm a "great" artist, that I too can make poor decisions and mistakes.

About few months ago(not too long ago, just about 4-2 months ago as I remember it) on warriors amino(big one) that I stumbled across a post meaning to talk about the political votes and I wanted to express why the team would of probably not wanted it to be talked about way too often especially in a public post. I've said some things pretty dumb of me, it was 3am and I really wasn't thinking and wording at the time wasnt the best for me. Even so, when I'm really tired I know not to speak about things because ik I'll always get myself into trouble. Now politics is a big issue, human rights is an issue, and so much more is a big issue. I never meant to say it was an opinion. But there are people who are ignorant and will be biased on these issues, that's what I meant. Because there's always that one person who would want to argue or be trolly and get everyone pissed off. what I was trying to express is that it makes some people uncomfortable, and to know what the two old men who are running for president has done in the past is really disgusting. Trump and biden are completely not the best people, and are truly disgusting people. But I see it as that the best choice would have to be biden. Even so, not what I'm talking about here. What I was trying to say here wasn't what I said in the comment, and I apologise for what I done.. it's really embarrassing and even for someone who is in a big community it's my responsibility to come forth with my own actions.

I also want to apologise, for something else. My mental health and physical health is really frustrating me rn. I have a niece, and I was forced out of my own room so my brother and his wife can take it over with their child. My brother has done a lot of things to me in the past that I can never forget, and I don't even want to talk about it. With the hate leading towards the staff team in the bga, I was scared that if I did something wrong that sooner or later it would be on me and I can't take that hate right now because I have no where to put my anger on. My depression has been getting worse the past few months to the point I'll pass out because I wouldn't eat. I wouldn't talk to anyone what was going on with me because I thought it would feel like attention seeking, that no one would understand me, and much more. I'm getting sick, and it's not healthy for me and anyone that I'd choose to stay a curator.. I see it with the following I have that many young people look up to me as an inspiration, a friend, and a family and I definitely don't want to let anyone in the community down. I brought it here because this shouldn't be on a platform for children to see and they don't deserve to see what I truly am.

I can be selfish, manipulative, and so much more and I hate myself for it. I never won't to put someone in a situation that I'll make them responsible for my mental health Because at the end of the day. It's my fault on why I'm here now, I really want to apologise that when I first left the team that I came back only to do nothing to help at all. No one talked about it of course, or mentioned it, but I've seen the person I become and knew that I was incapable of being apart of the team. All I seemed to do was just join public chats and make jokes, and do nothing at all to help with the team. Wether you all choose to hate me or not for the kind of person I turned out, I still need to apologise.

I love you all, and I must thank you for reading this. I do hope to come back as a changed person and not be as sad as I am right now. You guys have helped me a lot and I feel sad that I didn't thank you all for being there. I know some people here will likely forgive me, but please. Even if I came out about it, my actions still can't go unpunished which is why I stepped down. No one demoted me and no one is to blame for my own actions but me.

Thank you for reading this, and I love you. If you need anything or want to tell me anything I'm still on the amino app, I won't post a lot or message instantly. But I will get there when I can💕

Btw I still don't know how to work tumblr-

ilysm hawkii

It was very brave of you to dip into some of these topics and come out and tell us instead of holding it all in to yourself. If you ever need someone to talk to, shoot me a text on amino or discord (Bex#4615)

- Mod V