#I sound really pissed in this— I’m not if you like these fancasts you do you lol

[lleaudau]

I’m sorry but I really dislike the fan casts for the characters in the Marauders era… Like Ben Barnes is NOT Sirius… There is NO way Remus Lupin would EVER look like Andrew Garfield. Do not even get me started on Timothée Chalamet as Regulus Black. And Dane Dehaan (I think it changed but I still see some edits of him) as Peter Pettigrew? Really? Who decided these fancasts and I’m sorry but— why did everyone agree to them? Is it because all those actors are hot so it doesn’t matter if they look like their casted characters or not?

[sk1fanfiction]

the many faces of tom riddle, part six or 5.5 or whatever this is because frankly there's not enough tom to analyse here and that's a damn shame

-what exactly is a backstory?-

Okay, I thought saying that I dislike Tom Hughes as a fancast for Tom Riddle would be my most cancellable moment, but here goes. I think I'm about to piss people off again lol:

*sobs* I was really disappointed in The House of Gaunt. Which is perhaps a function of my high hopes for it, but eh...

Boy, oh boy do I have opinions. I'm not going to tell you not to read it if you liked everything about the movie (which is a valid opinion), but just so you're aware, I have opinions.

(When don't I?)

However, before I say absolutely anything else, I have to say, gorgeous. The production is stunning.

Stunning, in fact, is the major issue with the film for me. It's just overall too pretty.

We open with the scene that Dumbledore shows Harry through the Pensieve in Half-Blood Prince.

At about a minute or two in — the Gaunt Shack looks less shack and more stately cottage overgrown with ivy (like the Riddle house!), and Gaunts themselves, especially Merope, whose actress is super pretty, are nowhere near as hideous, dirty, or impoverished as they should be. Instead, the whole thing is giving landed gentry when it should be giving Scary Peasants, and while I love the Miss Havisham aesthetic as much as the next girl, it’s definitely not canon and Morfin and Marvolo are not nearly as intimidating as I hoped they would be — and definitely not anything near to the magical family that Tom Riddle was so disgusted by. I just wish there’d been more squalor and — ugh — at first it's a small gripe — let’s see what happens with this change. It could be interesting to explore the idea of having functional Gaunts, so I hope they’ve done it for a reason and they address it.

(Spoiler alert, they don’t address it)

Merope, pretty and well-dressed, if a bit witchy-looking for a small village in the 1920s. Compare with the right panel.

The only Gaunt who comes off as sufficiently off-putting is Morfin.

Actually, on second thought, I can’t overstate how much Marvolo’s adaptational meekness bothers me. I have no idea why they decided to make his character soft-spoken when he doesn’t even sound intimidating. This isn't to say soft-spoken can't be intimidating; it's to say that Marvolo is trying too hard to be genteel, instead of grand and eccentric, which is quite OOC for him, and we don't know a lot about him.

Now that I’m a third of the way in, I’m not sure why they bothered with this scene in the first place. It doesn’t really add anything to Lord Voldemort’s story that can’t be summed up in a few lines of dialogue.

A battle between the Aurors and the two male Gaunts ensues. The production is great. It looks really cool, but there's a reason it wasn't in the book.

It doesn't add anything to the plot, or character development, which is a real shame in a thirty-minute film.

I thought it was a nice detail how two of the Aurors were from Beauxbatons, but it really jarred me when the British Auror leading the mission called them “French guys” — I don’t think people would have said that in 1926.

This isn't (just) me being pedantic as per usual. Admittedly the above graph shows only the prevalence of 'guys' in the written corpus, but you can see that it isn't really used until the 80's, and only starts gaining speed in the 00's. It's definitely not used in the 20's.

Also, halfway through and no Tom Riddle Junior. Sad. When it’s eighteen minutes into a thirty minute film and the title character hasn’t been born yet (it’s subtitled Lord Voldemort Origins), that’s possibly a pacing issue. Doing 2-5 minutes of this maximum and replacing the rest with baby maniac Tom at the orphanage or Hogwarts would have fixed it. If this film is supposed to show Tom's origins or backstory, it might have just missed the mark.

Additionally, Merope being super pretty is an issue. About nineteen minutes in, after Marvolo and Morfin have been arrested, she waltzes up to Tom Riddle Senior in the woods, all seductive... they gaze at each other… there’s sexual tension… he’s into it… she’s into it…

But Tom Riddle Senior being into Merope completely tanks a major plot point — Tom is r*ped, and the circumstances around which said crime happens is contingent on Merope being unable to seduce him without the love potion. If Tom was into Merope in the first place, he might not have even known when she stopped giving him the love potion and he wouldn’t have freaked out and left, and if he didn’t freak out and leave, Merope wouldn’t have died, sold the locket to Borgin and Burkes, and Tom wouldn’t have been born in Wool’s Orphanage. All changing the story of Lord Voldemort into something very different.

Maybe I'm seeing things from the wrong angle. But telling a story already told in an odd way doesn't clear up a character's backstory. Rather, it muddies the waters.

But, we are still meant to believe that this story should follow canon, because directly after Tom and Merope make goo-goo eyes at each other, we skip ahead thirty years later. Yes, that's right. We skip to Tom Riddle Junior/Lord Voldemort, age 29.

Real footage of Tom Senior making goo-goo eyes at Merope.

Twenty minutes in and one long scene of a robed man ascending the steps of a castle with his entourage... has Tom finally made his appearance?

Oh good, it is him. Finally.

We’ve been treated to a Masquerade Ball, where the early Death Eaters are in attendance, and yet some posh blonde woman with a nice haircut pops up besides Tom (who’s wearing a mask), and calls him Tom. Strange. Shouldn’t he be Lord Voldemort by now, if he’s started to gather followers?

OH GOD, it’s Hepzibah Smith?

I can almost forgive the Gaunts, but the fact that she’s dressed as a tasteful rich lady, and not as an affected old, wrinkly, flirty woman with a powdered wig is sacrilege.

I’m also quite upset that Tom’s wearing a full-face mask — every time he speaks, it gives me uncanny valley vibes — if only they’d had the mask only covering the top or one side of his face so we could see some expression.

(When you only have thirty minutes, you'd think you'd allow Lord Voldemort, aka the title character with less than ten minutes of screen minute, facial expressions... especially when Voldemort never canonically wore a mask.)

Not only is Hepzibah horribly out of character, but she and Tom have zero chemistry. Gone is her tittering, and gone is Tom’s disgust, and gone is the flirting on both sides. It’s simply an heiress carrying out a business deal with a guy in a mask. There is no dynamic. No atmosphere. In fact, I much prefer this sequence in Origins of the Heir. While I also, me being me, disliked Tom's overall portrayal in that film (and me being me, I often dislike Tom's overall portrayal in the canon films), that scene is pretty well done. One of the most memorable things about this scene in the book is his facial expressions; he looks hungry, greedy, his eyes glint red -- none of which are present here, because we can't see his face. And because of that, the scene feels very flat.

WHY IN THE EVER-LOVING FUCK WOULD ARROGANT AS FUCK TOM RIDDLE EVER TELL HEPZIBAH THAT THE ‘RAGGED-LOOKING WOMAN’ IS HIS MOTHER?

(Apologies. That was my unfiltered reaction at that very moment and I chose to share it with you.)

Not only that, but Tom slashes her throat in the middle of the ballroom, pretty much. Which I'm not tooooo mad about, because although pre-Voldemort Tom did try to be stealthy about murders, this is evidently post-Voldemort Tom, so all bets are off, really. Although I really didn't see that one coming.

On the positive side, the following fight scene where Tom mows down a squad of Aurors in about thirty seconds is possibly more threatening that canon Voldemort’s ever been, minus the duel with Dumbledore.

And after only six minutes of Tom existing (there's a duel in a sexy French Versailles-looking corridor, but it's kind of boring. Tom wins, obviously.), we cut to 1981, with James and Lily, who’s holding a bundle who we must assume to be Harry — Voldemort confronts them in an alley, instead of their home.

Not only that, but he murders James and Lily, and doesn’t even seem to notice Harry’s existence at first, only returning for him as an afterthought rather than the whole purpose of the attack. I mean, we know it's not, but it feels like Voldemort killed them all because he's petty (he is, but that's not the point) instead of, you know, Actual Plot Reasons Like a Prophecy.

Hello, canon? Where are you, my old friend?

And I’m not saying everything has to follow canon, but just… why not write a story that fills in the blanks in Voldemort’s origins rather than rehashing what we already know in such an odd fashion? In fact, although I have my gripes with Origins of the Heir, at least it tries to depict pre-Voldemort Tom in some way and expands on canon. I just feel like The House of Gaunt stuck too close to canon for my taste, at least. Although it's visually stunning and the acting is great, it (1) doesn't feel like part of the quirky, dysfunctional and sometimes gritty, or at least grimy Harry Potter Universe, and (2) it fundamentally doesn't develop Tom/Voldemort as a character at all.

[mcustorm]

In Defense of a Black Cyclops

In case my username didn’t make it clear, the single most anticipated visual project for me is the MCU’s interpretation of the X-Men, which hasn’t even been announced yet [officially]. And ladies and gents, I have found your Cyclops:

Good ol’ Alfred Enoch, who we all know from Harry Potter and How to Get Away With Murder. If you’re not familiar with HTGAWM, know that his character goes from the de facto leader of the ragtag (murderers) and most cherished protege of Viola Davis’ Professor X to taking more of a grimdark turn after his girlfriend’s death. Sound at least somewhat familiar?

Enoch also embodies the physicality of the character well, seeing as to how he’s “slim”, 6′4(!!), black, and notoriously lanky. Wait, one of these isn’t like the others.

In general I hate fancasting. Everyone generally picks from the same pool of about 30 actors (Peeps, neither Taron nor Daniel is a good Wolverine choice. Argue with your mother!), and most all of it is based on physicality, except when it absolutely should be (like say, choosing a ~5′10 dark-skinned black woman for Storm).

And I think there’s some malarkey afoot. I think there needs to be some serious consideration on part of fancasters and actual casting agents alike to rethink race when it comes to the [white] X-Men, especially since they’re the X-Men of all teams. So I’ll make the case for a black Cyclops: 

1. There is no quota on Black X-Men: There’s a bug in your ear that’s been whispering lies to you for years, it says something to the effect of “We need a black person on the team for diversity. How bout Storm?” And you’ve gotten complacent. Storm does not have to be the only black person on your X-Men roster.

2. The X-Men represent diversity: Iceman is gay, Cyclops and Prof. X are disabled (sorta), there are plenty of women, oh and everybody except Storm is white. Of the A-List X-Men, there is only *one* POC character. I’d argue that an MCU X-Men needs to champion diversity like never before.

3. The X-Men represent minority struggle while being mostly white: There’s a cognitive dissonance in the metaphor that has always been there, and for the most part, nobody cares. To appeal to the white readers of the 60′s, the X-Men were all initially white. That way, the message of the mutants could be related to the audience with a familiar face. We don’t need to approach the problem that way in 202?

4. Just because that’s the way it’s always been, doesn’t mean that’s the way it should be: The first line of defense. Sorry, that will never be a good justification for literally any idea. It’s time for some more critical thinking.

5. We don’t all want to be Bishop: So say you’re white and you have a kid who for his birthday having a costume party. You’ve bought some X-Men costumes and you want each kid to pick one. 9 white kids and one black kid show up to your house. As the kids deliberate who gets what costume, be it Cyke or Wolvie or whatever, you yell at everybody to “STOP!”, point to the one black kid and tell him “You’re gonna be Bishop. That’s it, end of story!” 

We don’t all want to be Bishop. The black child could have the best Cyclops interpretation within him, but you’ll never know if you don’t let him try. And that’s no different from the Black actors of Hollywood. There’s no reason why all of the black talent should *have* to compete for the role of Bishop or Storm, which I’ve discussed, while Joe Schmo can walk up and audition for literally anybody he wants.          

Jharrel Jerome is 23 and has an Emmy to his name. He needs to be in the MCU in some capacity, period. Stephan James is another. How bout Damson Idris. Ashton Sanders. But no, no, let’s fancast Dacre Montgomery or Ansel or Joe Keery again as [Human Torch, Wolverine, Iceman, Angel, I’ve literally seen it all.]

6. Nobody wants to see the B-team if it comes down to it. The next line of defense from your racebending naysayers after “That’s the way it’s always been!” is “Well, what about Psylocke, Bishop, Forge and Jubilee?” who are otherwise known as B-tier X-Men. The problem is, we’ve got limited time and limited spots.

So since the X-Men is all about wonky metaphors that make half sense, let me give you another: Let’s say somebody approaches you and says “Hey buddy, I got two free concert tickets for ya! You can either see Michael Jackson Sings the Blues, or you can go see Justin Timberlake. Free of charge!”

Now, are you used to MJ singing the blues? No! Do you have a problem with going to see Justin Timberlake? No, he’s fine on a Wednesday! He had that one little diddy we liked that one time. We’d love to see him eventually! But are you gonna say, “fuck that, I’m going to see MJ Sings the Blues” regardless? Hell yes, because that’s still Michael Jackson. He’s gonna give the same amazing performance he always does, it’s just gonna be the blues. And speaking of blues...

7. Black is not Blue, Brown is not Blue: Raise your hand if you’ve ever heard this one: “I don’t care if you’re black, white, purple, or green, I’m going to treat you all the same!” I will not say all have this intention, but some fancasters have noticed that the racial diversity is kinda low within the A-List X-Men, so they oh-so-generously give the following roles to a black or brown person: Iceman, Nightcrawler, Beast. 

Notice the pattern? It’s a microaggression, and it’s bullshit. What these fancasters are implicitly telling you is that, yes the actors will be black or brown, but when the action starts we can ignore that. They’ll be blue by then. In other words, you in fact do care if they’re purple or green. Nobody will cry foul if Dev Patel gets to play Nightcrawler (because that’s a common one I see), but should Anna Diop be Starfire or Michael B. Jordan be Human Torch, I bet there’d be backlash. Oh wait. If that’s you, please stop acting like you actually value diversity. You don’t want to see black or brown skin, period. Unless of course, it’s Storm (refer to point #1).

But wait, there’s more! When brown characters get whitewashed in these movies, it’s crickets! So eventually it’s revealed implicitly that proclaimers of point #4 only care about it one way.

8. Professor X should not be black if you’re not willing to change anyone else: The next line of defense is that some people say the professor should be black, if anybody HAS to be racebent. Something something MLK Jr., Civil Rights or some shit. Number one, I’m not reducing Professor X to being a magical negro for 9 white people (and Storm!) who for all intents and purposes get to have all the action. Number 2, the Professor X/MLK/Magneto/Malcolm X comparison is an oversimplifying disservice to ALL FOUR of those people. I hate that line whenever I see it, please watch a documentary my friends. 

9. The Candidates for Racebending: For me, the A-List X-Men are Cyclops, Jean Grey, Iceman, Angel, Beast, Wolverine, Storm, Gambit, Rogue, Colossus, Nightcrawler, and Kitty Pryde. Now, who should be exempt from the racebending? Storm, she’s our designated minority. Gambit, he’s Cajun and they’re white (generally speaking, that’s a fun bit of research). Wolverine, Colossus, and Nightcrawler, because their nationality/ethnicity was the whole point of the Giant-Size premise in the first place. Angel, because his character embodies a privileged white male. Beast and Iceman, I don’t care one way or another (Point #7).

That leaves Cyclops, Rogue, Jean Grey, and Kitty Pryde. Now Jean Grey is a redhead, and we all know that every time a redhead is racebent people sharpen their pitchforks (Mary Jane, Wally West, Iris West), so I will cede the ground on Jean if only so that my ginger friends can get their rep. Kitty Pryde is Jewish, but Jews of color exist. Rogue is from the South. And Cyclops is, well, just Cyclops. That makes those three characters good options for more diversity. But allow me to make the case for Cyclops, specifically.

10. It’s not just diversity for diversity’s sake: If you had to pick who the main character of the X-Men is supposed to be, most would say Cyclops. And so in a series that highlights racial discrimination in society, it makes sense that our main character be black. While changing Cyclops’ skin color should not change who he is as a character, it *should* recontextualize it. Now, as an eventual increasingly radical leader of the X-Men, Cyclops would evoke real life figures such as Colin Kaepernick or, shall I say, Martin Luther King, Jr.

Not that most X-Men fans and writers truly think about what it means to be black anyways. Storm’s minority status is almost always put through the lens of her being a mutant and not her being a black woman. In other words, you can’t argue that making a character black will fundamentally change his or her character when you haven’t even analyzed the racial context of the black character(s) you already have. Another concept that the MCU X-Men should tackle: intersectionality.

11. Representation matters: I have to say it: Chadwick Boseman’s Black Panther hit different. And now he is tragically gone. At the end of the day, the MCU moving forward is down its most prominent black male superhero. Which has implications beyond just the movies themselves.

The women are in good hands. Shuri, Okoye, and Nakia are badasses in Wakanda, Valkyrie is ruling Asgard, Storm is almost assuredly on the way, RiRi Williams has already been cast, and Monica Rambeau is here and she’s not even at her most glorious yet. That doesn’t even include variable Δ, or the number of characters who can and will be racebent. And I’ll note again that to me, Gamora doesn’t count, because she’s green (#7 really pisses me off because it’s so blatant. I hate it). Of course from a behind the camera perspective we love black women getting work.

The men are a completely different story. Imma just go out and say it, I can’t stand Falcon and War Machine [in the MCU] because they’re not characters, they’re just two of a slew of MCU minority sidekicks who have essentially been at the beck and call of Captain America and Iron Man, respectively. You cannot tell Falcon’s story without mentioning Cap. The reverse is not true. There’s a whole essay that could be and have been written on “Minorities in the MCU, pre-Black Panther”. Remember, there’s a reason BP made so much noise in the first place.

So excluding those two we have, let’s see, M’Baku, Blade, and Fury who aren’t exactly the most superheroic superheroes, Eli Bradley is proooobably coming, I doubt Miles Morales is coming (because he’s just Peter Parker in the MCU), Luke Cage(?) Bishop(??), Sunspot(???), Blue Marvel(????). Not only are they not A-List, I would not put money on any of them being in the MCU any time soon.

Cyclops is thee Captain America of the X-Men. He’s the frontman. He’s the poster boy. He’s the “boy scout”, which in other words means he’s the hero, if there has to be one. It would mean a lot right now, and specifically *right now*, if he were to be black. The MCU needs it. It NEEDS it.

12. The X-Men is the Summers Story: I’ll even make the case that if just one character needs to racebent, then it should be Cyclops, because that of course implies that other related characters need to be black because half of the X-Men universe is in fact a part of the Summers family. 

So now Cable is black. Corsair is black. Havok is black. And one of the most central stories in the X-Men mythos, the Summers family drama, is now a black family drama set in space or the future or where the fuck ever. The concept is boundary pushing. When white families have drama in the media, it gets to be Game of Thrones or Star Wars, while when black families have drama in the media, it has to be black people arguing in a kitchen or living room about their various earthly traumas (I’m @’ing you, Mr. Perry). I mean, that’s all fine and good often times, but I want my black family drama in space, dammit.

And again, this is the X-Men, the series that’s all about *minorities* and their struggle, so again, why not?

Oh, and I’ll even throw out a Havok fancast for you: How bout Jharrel Jerome?

[thgfanficinspo]

Fear of the Water - Ch 18

Finnick deals with the fallout from Annie’s breakdown (some sexy Capitol Finnick) (Henry Cavill was my fancast for Finnick before the movie came out)

My AO3 - Chapter 1 - Jonsa - Coryo - Discovery of Witches

(ANNIE)

When I wake up, I’m in a white tube. It’s small so small and I’m strapped down – arms, legs, body, even head. There’s a whirring, buzzing sound coming from within the walls. Then there are voices.

“Aw, shit, she’s awake.”

“Should we put her back down?”

I struggle against my bonds. Are they going to kill me? Why am I here? What are they doing to me?

“Yeah, she’s gonna fuss.”

There are footsteps now – coming toward me. I try to tear my arms out of their bonds but nothing happens. I scream. The voices yell to one another and I scream and I scream and I scream. I don’t want this. Finnick and Mags said it was over now and I was safe and I don’t think they’d lie to me but maybe they did or maybe they never said it at all I don’t want to die.

There’s a sharp pain in my right thigh. Then it goes dark.

(FINNICK)

We’re supposed to go back to that damn waiting room with the grey walls and floor-length windows and fake orchid.

I skulk around in the hallway after the others have gone inside, hoping to catch a moment alone with the female doctor who flirted with me. She comes out through a doorway which she locks behind her. She’s too distracted by the papers in her hand to notice me. I clear my throat and she looks up.

“Mr. Odair. Shouldn’t you be in the waiting room?”

“It’s a bit stuffy in their for my taste,” I say. “Especially after all that drama.” I straighten up and close the space between us.

“Yes, that was really something,” she agrees. Her eyes rake my body up and down. She has to turn away.

“Have you ever seen anything like that before?”

“I haven’t personally.”

“No?” I’m not nearly as smooth as I usually am. I’m too anxious to be charming. “Annie’s something special then.” I step up behind her and move her hair away from the side of her neck. “Like you.” I press my lips to the side of her neck and she nearly collapses. I keep my arms tight around her waist and pull her against me.

She gasps my name.

“Will you tell me something?”

“What?” she asks breathlessly.

I flick the tip of my tongue over the pulse-point of her throat. “What are you planning to do with Annie Cresta?”

“Anthea!” We both look up. Her male colleague is standing at the other end of the hallway. He’s a good ten years younger than she is, but he has an air of superiority about him. And he looks pissed.

The woman – Anthea, I guess – goes ramrod straight and tosses off my arms. “It’s not –”

“We need to talk,” he says simply, his glaring eyes locked on mine. Anthea hustles down the hall and through the door the male doctor came through. He and I maintain eye contact as long as possible, until the door shuts behind him.

I growl under my breath. “Fuck.”

I’ve definitely made things worse. If that other damn doctor hadn’t come in . . .

Mags is pacing around the room with one of her hands over her mouth when I come in. Proteus stands a few feet away from me, apparently deep in thought. Eefa has made a surprise visit, which she clearly regrets. No sign of Broadsea, but that’s no surprise. He’s probably passed out in his own puke by now. I normally wouldn’t care but I feel that since Eefa made it here, he should’ve at least tried.

Proteus raises an eyebrow at me, silently asking what I found out. I shake my head.

The same two doctors as before come out to speak to us after about twenty minutes of waiting. They’re much more serious. “She did suffer trauma to the head while in the Arena,” the man says.

“But you don’t think that’s what’s causing her issues,” Proteus says.

Anthea nods. Gone is the quivering woman in the hall, replaced with someone cold and angry. She’s going out of her way to not look at me. “The tasks we had her do when she first woke up didn’t indicate any neurological or physiological issues. We did scans, too, after her tantrum at the recap, and they didn’t show anything out of the ordinary.”

“Tantrum?” I repeat.

“Then what’s wrong?” Proteus asks over me.

“We believe it’s mental illness,” the male doctor says.

None of us know what that means. We don’t have mental illness in the districts, at least not the words to describe it, but the Capitol has words for everything. They have enough leisure time to think about things like that, to come up with ailments to explain their every mood.

Our faces must betray our inability to understand because they take a different route.

The female doctor is the one to speak. “We are going to have Annie Cresta declared mentally insane.”

“What?” I spit.

Proteus speaks over me again. “Isn’t that a bit premature? She hasn’t been out of the arena for long.”

“We believe a swift announcement is in her best interest at this time,” the male doctor says.

“Her closing interview with Caesar Flickerman has been canceled,” the female says, totally ignoring our reactions. She may have succumb to my charms and looks before, but now she seems immune. “President Snow will make the announcement during that time slot instead.”

I don’t know what to say.

“What would you like us to do in the meantime?” Proteus asks after a moment, voice totally neutral. The crease between his eyebrows is the only sign that he’s troubled by all of this. The only sign.

I could kill him.

“She’s currently under anesthesia, but I recommend you board the train back to your district soon,” the woman continues. “Before anyone gets wind of this.”

“Why?” Eefa asks, brows creased.

“What do you mean, Why?” I ask.

“Why are you declaring her insane? What exactly is wrong with her?”

“Why do you think?” I snap. The first thing I hear her say in a week and she asks something stupid like that?

“I’d like to hear the diagnosis,” Eefa says.

The woman doctor sighs and looks down at her clip board. She knows we won’t understand any of it. “She shows symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, attention def –”

Proteus holds up his hand. “That’s enough.” He has no idea what any of it means, either. “Eefa?” he asks, turning to her. She nods, satisfied with what she’s heard. Maybe she was making sure they covered their bases; we generally accept that mad people are mad, but you need real proof to declare a victor mentally insane before the whole country.

“There is one piece of permanent physical damage I ought to mention,” the female doctor says. “Due to the stab wound in her abdomen, she won’t be able to conceive or carry children. There’s too much tissue damage.” No one really cares about that right now. What we care about – what I care about – is getting Annie out of here without adding to the damage that’s already been done. “I thought one of you ought to tell her once you’re back in your district and she’s had a chance to calm down.”

“I think you should get ready to leave,” the male doctor says. “She’ll be up in –” he checks his wristwatch and bobbles his head as he does the math in his head “– ninety minutes, give or take.”

“Yes,” Mags says distractedly. “Yes, of course.” She blinks several times.  “I’ll start preparing. And have Brae send for the train. Proteus, please get Annie’s stylist so we can get her ready to go.” The others go – Eefa practically sprints out – and I want to move, too, but my muscles won’t let me. Mags’s hand finds my shoulder. “She’s alive, Finnick. That’s what matters.”

I nod again because I can’t think of anything to say.

“Go. Clean up. Clear your head. I’ll be along in a few minutes. I just want to check in on her.”

When I get upstairs to our rooms, Greer rushes towards me and starts making a lot of gestures. I’m not sure what she’s asking until she runs her hand down her hair in a smooth, wavy motion. Like the way Annie’s hair falls.

“Annie?” I guess.

She nods.

I’m too tired to explain it all. “She’ll be all right.”

I start undressing before I make it all the way into my room, discarding my clothes as I go. Somes picks them up as he follows behind me.

I blast the water in the shower to its highest setting and make the temperature as cold as I can bear. I only take hot showers in the Capitol when I’ve just seen a patron. Different temperatures for different problems. It helps me compartmentalize. Keep my head straight.

I’m good at that. Compartmentalizing, keeping my mind focused on the task at hand. I always have been. A lot of victors simply can’t do that – it’s why they turn to drink or drugs. But I haven’t. And I won’t.

I don’t notice the slip of paper folded on my pillow until I start dressing. The paper is off-white and thick – the sort of expensive, heavy stuff they only use in the Capitol. I open it up, and the custom watermark at the top of the page informs me that this is from C.X.S.

President Snow has left me a handwritten note of congratulations.

The others have all gotten them, too.

Mags says he always does for the victors of the winning district. Etiquette, she says, is the most important thing to Coriolanus. Not for the first time, I wonder how well Mags knew him when they were young.

Broadsea whips a lighter out of his pocket and sets the note on fire before dropping it in an empty metal bin. He hasn’t even opened it. Eefa drops her own note into the bin; Mags gives Broadsea her letter to burn, too. I don’t know if she’s read it. Proteus tucks his away in his jacket pocket and tells me to do the same if I want to be smart. I don’t have a reason to save it; I’ve already memorized every word. But I decide to keep it anyway. In case I ever need a reminder.

Mr. Odair,

Congratulations on your very first victor. This is an exciting time for your fellow victors and all of District 4. It is an especially important time for you, as this is your first time mentoring a victor.

Of course he adds a little statement of regret at the end of my note containing a veiled threat:

I hope that you will not be bogged down by the weight of responsibility. It would be unfair for anyone to expect a young man such as  you to take on the burden of Miss Cresta’s care.

It seems innocuous enough, but it’s another little reminder to stand back and just let things unfold. Men like Finnick Odair don’t get involved with that sort of thing, and girls like Annie Cresta never really go home.

My best regards to you and your new victor,

President Coriolanus X. Snow

[carewyncromwell]

Bat confronting Dumbledore about Grindelwald sounds so interesting! (especially because i thought it was really lame in the new film) So if you ever feel inspired to write it, please do💕. All your writing and your drawings are lovely (i will stop fangirling now)

Aww, thank you so much!! I’m so touched that you like them!! ^///^

I have to agree with you on Crimes of Grindelwald -- I’m afraid I really didn’t like much of its writing at all, including the stuff involving Dumbledore and Grindelwald, so I like the idea of being able to rewrite that part of the timeline in a way that feels more organic and realistic for the books and for the historical allegory I feel it’s almost obligated to make.

For one, I never liked the thought of Grindelwald going to America. The twist of him being Graves at the end of the first Fantastic Beasts seemed perfectly unnecessary for me, as in 1920′s/30′s America, there was a spike in racism and anti-Semitism, largely inspired by the same things that supported the Nazi Party’s rise to power in Germany. Keep in mind that the Ku Klux Klan had a revival in the 1920′s, fueled in large part to the success of the white supremacist garbage film Birth of a Nation, which was released in 1915 and was given further credibility by that scumbag Woodrow Wilson after he screened it in the White House. That time period after its revival is largely considered to be when the Ku Klux Klan was at its most powerful and socially acceptable in the States -- and in the 20′s, the Klan extended its bigotry beyond black Americans to also encompass immigrants, using the rhetoric of them “coming to steal American jobs” (sound familiar?), as well as Catholics (many Klan members were Protestant) and Communists (one of the Nazi Party’s main rivals for power). Hitler didn’t need to go to the U.S. to spark the creation of the first American Nazi parties -- the Friends of the New Germany was sparked by German immigrants, yes, but its much more prolific successor, the German-American Bund, was founded in 1936 by an American citizen named Fritz Kuhn. And what do you know, it turns out that the home-grown group founded by Americans did better at recruiting other Americans to the Nazi ideology than one funded and promoted by lesser officers of the Third Reich. Graves could’ve been the Wizarding World’s Fritz Kuhn -- another great and memorable villain alongside Grindelwald, rather than just a mask he uses.

I admit as well that I personally envisioned Grindelwald looking and acting differently than he does in the films. Johnny Depp doesn’t give a bad performance exactly, and I feel awful about everything that went down with him and Amber Heard...but at the same time, Depp’s Grindelwald was not what I ever had in my head. My personal fancast for Grindelwald is Michael Fassbender (if nothing else, he’s a German actor and he played Magneto, for crying out loud: he’s awesome!!) --

-- and I just always imagined Gellert Grindelwald being the sort of animated, dynamic person who talked with his hands a lot and could whip people up into a frenzy about how they’re going to change the world and “bring everything back” to this idealistic, glorious time that never really existed, while still being so, SO obviously wrong -- to put it simply, like his real-world counterpart, Adolf Hitler. And considering I’ve read so many people completely missing the point of Grindelwald here on Tumblr after watching Crimes of Grindelwald by comparing him to Killmonger from Black Panther and saying “he had a point,” it’s clear to me these new films missed the boat on that. Also, they character-assasinated Queenie and killed Leda off way too friggin’ early, which pisses me off to no end. >I

Finally, I don’t like the idea they’ve established in the films of the little not-Unbreakable-Vow-but-damn-close blood pact “charm” Grindelwald and Dumbledore made being the reason that Dumbledore isn’t fighting Grindelwald. I thought there was something so powerful and tragic in the books about Dumbledore refusing to fight Grindelwald solely out of the embers of his old romantic feelings for him and the fear he felt as a result toward the idea of confronting the man he once loved and was maybe starting to realize was a monster. Realizing that you’ve been mistreated by someone you loved can be a very difficult thing to recover from -- sometimes it can take time to come to grips with it, and then even more time to confront who hurt you. Dumbledore likely could’ve been struggling with the fear not just of fighting someone who he doesn’t really want to hurt, but also of fighting someone who knows him in ways other people never could, who could manipulate him and could very well do so again...who knows the true extent of his demons and guilt surrounding what happened to his sister, something he’s clearly never gotten over. That alone is MORE than enough to explain why Dumbledore isn’t fighting Grindelwald -- that alone is MORE than enough drama to fill an entire movie -- but like with a lot of things in Crimes of Grindelwald, we get all sorts of unnecessary padding theoretically put in to better explain things, but in the end, that padding and exposition takes away from the core emotions that should be at the heart of the story and its relationships. We didn’t need all of this stuff with the charm. We didn’t need all of this stuff with Credence or the prophecy. We didn’t need Grindelwald going to the States to try to find an Obscurus. We didn’t need to involve Newt, Tina, and crew in any of this, at least not this quickly and/or directly. Fantastic Beasts should’ve been more like Indiana Jones, if they wanted to include Grindelwald -- have him be in the background, but not the focus. Then do a separate film (or multiple separate films) about Dumbledore and Grindelwald, showing everything we didn’t get for them in Deathly Hallows and expanding upon it to craft the romantic tragedy that has only been alluded to previously.

Now of course, I totally understand if any of you disagree with anything I wrote up there -- this is just my personal point of view. But it will definitely color how I depict my boy Bat, his relationship with Dumbledore, and his resistance efforts against Grindelwald on this blog.

[anders-hawke]

The Guy Didn’t Like Magical Creatures, So I Threw A Drink In His Face

Transcript of an excerpt from CinemaBlend’s CoG Cast Interview Video

Interviewer:

And Tina?

Katherine:

Well… I mean—

Eddie:

She just hooked up with some random guy.

Katherine:

I — you know — uh — I… uhhhhh… was in New York! Waiting for this guy who said he was gonna come with his book when he finished it and, uh…

Eddie:

Tried! Five times!

Callum:

He got famous.

Katherine:

And then I catch word that — oh, yeah, gets famous! Oh, marries his old pal! So, um, so yeah, that was a hard blank to fill. But, but yeah…

Eddie:

So she went and dated some strapping American Auror.

Katherine:

Well, look, you know, one tries to move on!

Eddie:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Callum:

But was it a date or did you just say it was… did Queenie just say it was a full-on romance, or—

Eddie:

A full-on romance, I reckon.

Katherine:

I think it was cut out of the film, the explanation for that. 

Interviewer:

Oh, so you actually filmed something, kind of, a bit more about that relationship?

Katherine:

Uh, no, but I just kind of talked about how the guy didn’t like magical creatures, so I threw a drink in his face.

Callum:

Uh, yeah.

Katherine:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...

Eddie:

THAT’S MY GIRL!

Callum:

You’re carrying the torch for someone else!

Katherine:

Well, a guy breaks your heart, but you still might be carrying the torch.

*^* ~ *^*

SCENE 1 - NIGHT - NEWT’S HOUSE

TINA and NEWT walk in the door of NEWT’s townhouse, bubbling with emotions and brimming with exhaustion. NEWT collects the mail and flips through it, stopping when he sees a letter addressed to TINA from ACHILLES TOLLIVER. He pales significantly but hands her the letter nonetheless.

NEWT:

A letter from Mr. Tolliver. I’m glad you two are happy together.

TINA looks confused but NEWT’s not meeting her eyes.

TINA:

What?

NEWT:

You're in a relationship with him, are you not?

TINA:

No… Why would you ever think that?

TINA rips up the letter and burns it. Now it’s NEWT’s turn to be confused.

TINA:

(sighing)

He keeps sending me letters. I don’t even know how he found your address. I should report him for harassment at this point…

NEWT now looks both confused and hopeful. He looks TINA in the eye.

NEWT:

(timid)

So you… didn’t…

TINA:

Didn’t what?

NEWT:

(awkwardly)

Well… see… I thought you may have… you know… IthoughtyouwereinanexclusiverelationshipwithMr.Tolliver.

Cut to—

SCENE 2 - NIGHT(MARE) - A BAR IN NEW YORK CITY

TINA is sitting at a table with a man - ACHILLES TOLLIVER (fancast Tom Hiddleston) - wearing an elaborate flapper dress. The two are laughing and talking, the epitome of the phrase "hitting it off." ACHILLES takes TINA’s hand in one of his own, pressing a kiss to it, and she bites her lip, giggling. They kiss, evidently in love with each other, NEWT nowhere in their minds.

Cut to—

SCENE 3 - NIGHT(MARE) - ACHILLES’ APARTMENT

TINA hastily ruffles her hair, looking at ACHILLES with a hunger in her eyes. He slowly loosens his tie, throwing it to the floor, all the while never breaking eye contact with TINA. She crooks her finger, beckoning him towards her as she slowly steps backwards into the bedroom. ACHILLES follows her, and a series of moans and screams sound from the room.

Cut to—

SCENE 4 - NIGHT  - NEWT’S HOUSE

TINA:

You thought I was in a relationship with him?!

NEWT flushes and looks away.

TINA:

Newt, I went on one date with him! How did you even know in the first place?

NEWT:

Queenie told me when she visited with Jacob.

TINA:

Oh. Well, I only went on one date with him.

Cut to—

SCENE 5 - NIGHT - A BAR IN NEW YORK CITY

TINA and ACHILLES are sitting at a table together, and TINA sips her drink awkwardly.

ACHILLES:

So, what do you do in your spare time?

TINA:

(brightening)

I like to read when I have the time to spare.

ACHILLES:

Really? What’s the most recent book you’ve read?

TINA:

Um… Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, by Newt Scamander.

ACHILLES:

Oh. The book by that crazy Brit who came here last year? He’s weird…

TINA:

(bristling)

He’s not crazy. He’s brilliant.

ACHILLES:

He talks about beasts as if they can think on the same level as us humans! That’s ridiculous!

(TINA’s getting pissed off now)

They should be eradicated. It would be a load off our shoulders!

Suddenly, TINA stands up angrily and throws her drink in ACHILLES’ face. She storms away from him and Disapparates.

SCENE 6 - NIGHT - NEWT’S HOUSE

TINA:

That’s all that happened.

NEWT:

(in awe)

You threw a drink in his face?

TINA:

Well, I mean, he called you crazy! And said that your creature should be eradicated! I mean, he’s wrong! They’re such beautiful creatures!

NEWT:

(quite suddenly)

THAT’S MY GIRL!

[cromulentbookreview]

Binge! Part 2: The Re-Binging

I’m often put off by long book series - considering how often I complain about being suckered into the first book of a series, this isn’t surprising. However, sometimes I’m willing to put in the time to binge a whole series.

Like, for example, the Barker & Llewelyn series by Will Thomas.

So I binge-read the first 10 books of this series (well, 10.5, there’s a novella called An Awkward Way to Die ) in one long, dizzying binge last year. And, lucky for me, there’s a new book out: Lethal Pursuit! Pretty much exactly one year from the release of Blood is Blood! 

But! If you haven’t read the first 10.5 books, here’s a review:

BOOK 1 - Some Danger Involved: Your average detective enquiry agent-duo origin story featuring brilliant detective and his new snarky Welsh sidekick!

BOOK 2 - To Kingdom Come: Barker & Llewelyn go undercover and build bombs for the Irish!

BOOK 3 - The Limehouse Text: Barker & Llewelyn face big trouble in London’s 19th Century Chinatown!

BOOK 4 - The Hellfire Conspiracy: Barker & Llewelyn fight human traffickers, secret societies and such!

BOOK 5 - The Black Hand: Barker & Llewelyn fight the Italian mafia!

BOOK 6 - Fatal Enquiry: Barker & Llewelyn fight Barker’s almost comically evil arch-nemesis!

BOOK 7 - Anatomy of Evil: Barker & Llewelyn fight Jack the Ripper!

BOOK 8 - Hell Bay: Barker & Llewelyn Present: Agatha Christie’s And Then There Were None!

BOOK 8.5 - An Awkward Way to Die: Barker & Llewelyn solve a case in, like, 20 minutes!

BOOK 9 - Old Scores: Barker & Llewelyn Present: Japonism in Late-19th Century England!

BOOK 10 - Blood is Blood: Barker is put temporarily out of commission by an explosion! Llewelyn must solve the case himself! Who should show up to help but Barker’s long lost brother??

BOOK 11 - Lethal Pursuit: Barker and Llewelyn are hired by the Prime Minister himself to transport an ancient manuscript to Calais. Sounds easy enough! Except Barker seems more interested in investigating the death of the man who brought the manuscript to England in the first place…

So! Lethal Pursuit! It begins with Hillary Drummond, recently arrived to England from Germany (somewhat newly united! Kind of!) he’s on the run from some blue uniformed youths after the satchel he’s carrying, which contains this book’s MacGuffin an ancient, and very valuable manuscript. Drummond almost, almost makes it to the Home Office when, gasp! He’s run through with a sword. Then he walks into traffic and is run over by a cab.

Or, as it’s known in London traffic: Tuesday.

Meanwhile! It’s January! 1892! Llewelyn is a happily married man, as he loves to mention roughly every two pages. Along with being a happily married man (did he mention that he’s married now? Because he is) he’s also now a partner in Barker’s Detective Private Enquiry Agency. Barker has been moving a bit slower since his leg injury during the events of Blood is Blood, but, instead of treating Llewelyn like a full partner, Barker continues to treat him like an assistant. Which rankles Llewelyn a bit but hey, at least he’s married to the love of his life Rebecca. Only they still live in Barker’s house - he’s renovated the first floor for them and everything. Anyway, Barker and Llwelyn receive a summons from Prime Minister himself! The British government has the MacGuffin, and they want nothing more than to have the manuscript sent off to the Vatican archives and forgotten. But Barker is more interested in the mystery of who killed Hillary Drummond and why. Rather than immediately deliver the manuscript to Calais like the Prime Minister asked them to do, Barker hangs onto it. See, this manuscript is, apparently, a new gospel. Which is important because...reasons?

OK, so after 11 books, I’ve noticed that the Barker & Llwelyn series involve a lot more religion than I know anything about. I mean, when it comes to the religious category on Jeopardy, my answer is always “Jesus.” I’ve never read the Bible the whole way through - I read Acts of the Apostles in high school for an assignment, for which I had to actually go out and buy a Bible because the one we had was a family heirloom that couldn’t be opened without falling to pieces. In my lifetime I’ve attended a grand total of two church services - one when I was baptized at the ripe old age of 7 (I guess from ages 0-7 I was naught but a sinful hellbeast) and once in Germany I attended an Easter mass in a thousand year old cathedral because it was literally the only thing open on Easter Sunday in the whole town. Upper Franconia is suuuuper Catholic, you guys. Anyway, I took communion at that mass just to see what the body of Christ tastes like (burnt toast, I was disappointed). Does that mean I’m Catholic now? Hurray for gold-plated everything and indulgences? I mean, I’m not even 100% sure what I was baptized as back when I was a 7-yr-old unbaptized hellbeast…Lutheran, maybe? I think? I do enjoy posting lists of complaints on peoples’ doors. I mean, I could check, but that would require getting up and I both don’t want to and really don’t care all that much. Anyway, long story short: religion is not my strong suit. I don’t know the difference between a Baptist and an Episcopalian and a Methodist. Perhaps I should but honestly…eh. My point is, when Will Thomas writes about a manuscript that might be a new gospel written before Luke or Matthew or whoever...I just sort of smile and nod and go "yeah sure OK" and have zero idea what that might actually mean or its religious significance. I just hear “1000 year old manuscript” and think “that sounds awesome, gimme.”

Back to the book: this manuscript is so valuable, the people after it are willing to kill for it. Which puts Barker & Llewelyn in an awkward position. Even more awkward is the fact that Rebecca’s family, who seemed so cool in the last book, have now decided to shun her for marrying Thomas, a gentile. As usual, Barker & Llewelyn are caught between a rock and a hard place. Can they deliver the manuscript safely to the Vatican? Can Thomas repair the relationship between himself and his in-laws? Will Rebecca ever learn how to make a decent Pain au chocolat? Will we ever, ever meet Thomas’s massive Welsh family? Will Rebecca ever demand to get to know her small army of brothers- and sisters-in-law? Will Barker ever propose to Philippa? Will I ever learn the difference between various sects of Christianity? Find out tomorrow in Barker & Llewelyn: Lethal Pursuit!  Same bat time, same bat channel!

I love this series. I am well and truly hooked. Barker & Llewelyn are a more down-to-earth Holmes and Watson. There is just the right amount of action, historical detail, and mystery to satisfy any Sherlockian desperate for some 19th century English mystery. I don’t know of any other book series, save Meg Cabot’s Princess Diaries series, where I’ve stuck around past the 8th or 9th book. So many books! Not enough time for serieses! I mean, sometimes I entertain the thought of binging all 900,000 Discworld books, but there are so many other things I’d like to read, too…I wish I were a faster reader. Better yet, I wish I could be like the Doctor and just flip through a book and absorb all its contents at once. That’d be awesome.

Still. I adore Barker & Llewelyn - I will absolutely be there for any book they’re in, even if the series goes the full Anne Perry and goes on and on for like, 20+ books. I’m here for it. And I am on pins and needles for the next book. I really, really, really want Thomas to reconcile with his family in Wales. I want Barker to actually acknowledge that Philippa Ashleigh is his girlfriend. I JUST WANT MORE, DAMN IT!

OK, for lack of anything else to say, let’s fancast this thing.

OK, so Barker would obviously be played by Graham McTavish, aka Dougal from Outlander.

Admit it, he’d be absolutely perfect, right? Come on. I mean, just look at that face.

Thomas Llewelyn would be played by Taron Egerton because he’s Welsh and  absolutely pretty and tough enough to be Llewelyn

Yesssss.

Mac would be played by Paul Ready because Paul Ready is beautiful and I love him and would cast him in anything. Plus, I could see him as the finicky perfectionist Mac. Plus, I still ship Mac/Thomas, and I think he’d play well against Taron Edgerton. By which I mean they’re both gorgeous and I’d enjoy watching them.

Jeremy Jenkins would be played by Adam Nagaitis because he’s awesome and he’d be perfect as the squirrley / drunk half the time Jenkins.

Ho would be played by Benedict Wong because he would be perfect, though I’m not sure if my fantasy BBC/ITV/Netflix series budget would have enough money to get Benedict Wong. He’s got Marvel money now.

Rebecca Llwelyn nee Cowan nee Mocatta would be played by Jessica Brown Findlay because, eh, why not. I’m still traumatized/pissed off about Sybil’s death on Downton Abbey.

Tchéky Karyo as expert chef Etienne Dummolard because I can seriously picture him going into a long French tirade and throwing shit whenever Barker disrespects his cooking.

Michelle Gomez as Philippa Ashleigh, Barker’s Girlfriend, because I would love to see her and Graham McTavish as Barker snipe at each other.

Gemma Chan as Bok Fu Ying aka Miss Winter, Barker’s ward, because she is the perfect combination of elegance and badass.

Gaten Matarazzo as Soho Vic because I’m absolutely sure he could pull off a British accent and annoy the shit out of Thomas,

And this dog as Harm. Look at this dog!

Awww!

RECOMMENDED FOR: Anyone fond of a fun 19th century mystery-solving duo.

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR: People who dislike mysteries, detective private enquiry agent duos.

OVERALL SERIES RATING: 4.5/5

TOTALLY UNBIASED VICTORIAN MYSTERY / MURDERINO FANGIRL RATING: 5/5

LETHAL PURSUIT RATING: 4/5

RELEASE DATE: November 12, 2019

ANTICIPATION LEVEL FOR NEXT BOOK IN THE SERIES: Olympus Mons