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Life lately. Summer turned to fall; I finally figured out how to dress myself; I decided to give Olympic lifting another shot, and, perhaps best of all, the Stelara is absolutely working, and, as a consequence of that, I have been able to rediscover the absolute joy that is taco salad 🤣
Seriously though, it was yet another instance where I didn’t realize how sick I really have been the last couple years until I started feeling really bad the last two weeks after having about a month and a half where I even forgot I was sick to begin with. But then I started having respiratory and sinus issues, diarrhea, stomach pains, and needing to take 1-3 naps a day. And the fucking shoulder pain came back 😩 At first I just thought I was just getting sick because preschool, lol, but everyone else in my house was fine and then realized I was due for another Stelara injection on Monday. Was too sick on Sunday morning to wait until Monday, so I took it then, and woke up on Monday feeing awesome. Tuesday was rough; I just had no energy and my sinuses were a mess, but I have felt great ever since.
#also if you like flare pants and corduroy the gap 70s flare pant is amazing#I think they’re normally $80 but I got them for $31 and they should still be on sale!
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Sickfic Prompt Masterlist
These are just nice prompts I like to use in writing. I’ll add more as I go. :)
1. “I’ll share the blankets with you.”
2. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed you.”
3. “I’m going to take care of you, okay?”
4. Having their hair washed by the other
5. One falling asleep with their head in the others lap
6. Cuddling in a blanket fort
7. Head scratches
8. Taking a bath together
9. “You’re trembling.”
10. “It’s too cold, come back!”
11. “Thank you for staying with me.”
12. “Sharing is caring.” “Not sickness!”
13. Nose kisses
14. “It’s cold, you should take my jacket.”
15. Fussing with unzipped coats/loose scarves/etc.
16. “Come inside. I don’t want you to get sick.” *gets sick anyway*
17. “I’m only here to help.”
18. “Can we at least still sleep in the same bed?”
19. “ I took NyQuil instead of DayQuil and I’m about to pass out.”
20. “Will you carry me to bed?”
21. “You’re shaking.”
22. “Of course I care.”
23. “You need to rest.”
24. “You’re a complete mess, but I don’t care.”
25. “Come to bed.”
26. “Is it supposed to be this cold out?”
27. “How long have you felt like this?”
28. “You’re so cute when you’re sick and needy.”
29. “They got me flowers.”
30. “What’s got you all worked up?”
31. “You’ve sneezed four times. That’s not like you.”
32. “Are you sick?”
33. “Need more tissues?”
34. “I don’t care if you’re sick. I’m not leaving.”
35. “Why have you been hiding this from me?”
36. “Blow your nose, I can’t understand you.”
37. “Having a cold does not make you weak.”
38. “Just let me take care of you why are you so stubborn.”
39. “Those sounded strong, baby.”
40. “You’re sneezing everywhere. Clearly, something’s up.”
41. “You sneeze one more time, you’re going inside.”
42. “Baby, you’re all sniffly.”
43. “I need a tissue.”
44. “Oh, baby, not again?”
45. “Your nose is literally twitching.”
46. Touching their nose leading to a sneeze
47. Hiding sneezes
48. Cuddles
49. “Not with that cold.”
50. “You sneezed ten times today.” “Thanks for counting.”
51. “Stop blessing me.”
52. “Did you just sneeze?”
53. “Bless you?”
54. “Do you need more blankets?”
55. “You sound awful.”
56. “Can you please come and get me?”
57. “Stop telling me you’re okay.”
58. “Was it worth being out in the snow/rain like that?”
59. “Did you really hide the thermometer?”
60. “This is why we use tissues.”
61. “I can tell you’re sicker than you’re saying.”
62. “I don’t think it’s just the sniffles this time.”
63. “I don’t have time to sleep off a cold.”
64. Mission in the rain.
65. Mission in the cold snow.
66. Refusing to stay in bed.
67. Having to be dragged back to bed.
68. Sparring/training and coughing/sneezing.
69. “Can you pick up some more tissues?” “Why? I just bought a few boxes last week.”
70. Cranky sickie.
71. Person A is oblivious to the fact that they are most definitely getting sick, but Person B knows them well, and is definitely aware of it.
72. Person A hasn’t been sleeping due to work, and they of course get sick. Despite Person B’s wishes, Person A continues to sneak out of bed and stay up late to get more work done, and Person B is not happy.
73. Faking an illness just to be taken care of.
74. Faking a sneeze to cover up a laugh, but the SO thinks it was real, and much harsher than their normal sneeze, and is now convinced they're coming down with a cold.
75. Accidentally inhaling an allergen.
76. Being handed the entire box of tissues instead of just one.
77. Pinching the other’s nose before they can sneeze.
78. Blessing someone because they thought they sneezed but they didn’t.
79. Sneezing from the chlorine of the pool.
80. Doing a polar plunge and shivering nonstop (and maybe catching something).
81. Hiding an illness for an event, but the SO catches on pretty quickly.
82. Sneezing during makeout/sex.
83. “If you needed an excuse, I could have made up something instead of you running yourself ragged just to catch a cold.”
84. “You know that I’m allergic to that, right?”
85. “Please don’t sneeze on me.”
86. Person A sneezes and catches B blushing and asks. B decides to tell them about the kink.
87. Both A and B work at the same place, whether it's for the same company or different, and A is sick and trying to get through work anyway, with B being helpful, or trying to.
88. Just the normal, day to day sneezes that mean absolutely nothing but its still cute and intimate moments.
89. Feeling, rather than hearing, someone sneeze.
90. Sneezes or sickness at a certain time of year (like a holiday or season).
91. Someone’s sneeze changing for an undercover mission, something the other person finds interesting/adorable/odd/etc.
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April Progress Update, and May Goals:
*bear with me this is gonna get long.
I’m going to first just look at April goals and see if I did them, then afterward summarize everything I did this month (cause it was a lot more than I planned ToT)
Chinese study plan from April:
1. Read anything
Well, I did read. However my goal to read hanshe to chapter 80 and Zhenhun to the end of the sundial arc never happened. I did read a lot though. I ended up focusing mainly on extensive reading.
Chinese chapters read: 62 (I counted graded readers/小王子 as 1 chapter for every two that I read, but this number is probably still inflated... compared to my normal 20-pleco page chapters I probably read 31-40 of those-kind-of-chapters length wise).
Chinese stories finished: 4 (Pleco Graded Reader Butterfly Lovers, Chinese Short Stories, Mandarin Companion Journey to the Center of the Earth, 小王子 - you can tell this is where my attention went this month).
Chinese Listening Reading Method chapters done: 14.5 (4.5 Silent Reading, 2 Chapters of A History of Humankind, 1 chapter hp, 1 chapter Alice in Wonderland, iffy but like 3 chapters 小王子, iffy but like 4 chapters of the Xiao Mao cat story - I should note that for Silent Reading, 小王子, Xiao Mao I only looked at the chinese mostly so more step 2, and for the others I did step 3 as recommended). Also I realize... I should probably count this with hours instead of chapters, because hours are where the original poster about LR mentioned when milestones are hit. However, being realistic, I do not do things in hour segments so I’m not sure any tracking will be as easy as this way...
A cool thing potentially about L R Method? I found some resources recently that will make this a lot easier (Bidiread is a site that can make parallel texts for you, which made silent reading MUCH easier since the audio doesn’t perfectly match so you NEED to see the chinese even if only doing step 3, to make sure you can keep track of where you are in the text when the audio skips paragraphs). I also found Francais Par Le Methode Nature as videos on youtube with audio and the text visible (is that not simply L R method step 2 but its all comprehensible, i love that book). And I found a few files on youtube of audiobooks with english audio and chinese/english parallel text on screen (a bit backwards in process but i’m curious to test it), one youtube channel who does chinese audio with parallel texts on screen (phenomenal!), and I remembered the site bilinguis exists which is excellent for French if you wanna try L R Method (it has a few french audios with the parallel texts). Also in the case of A History of Humankind - the audiobook for once is very closely synced to the actual chapter start/ends, so it was just easier to do L R Method with.
2. Listen to Chinese Spoonfed Audio, shadowing when I can
YES I did this! I was on 11 last month, now I’m on 15. (so 4 audio this month) Yes I realize that wasn’t a lot of improvement T-T. What can I say I am not very good at being disciplined. However I did learn something interesting this month ABOUT listening to these so I think I might do it more - I listened to some in the background while playing games, then later listened to them again (also why I only got through 4 - I was replaying audios maybe 2 times). And when I listened the second time I could understand nearly all, whereas obviously when playing my game I only caught parts of it. So I suppose what this showed me is partially listening and partially focusing still may have some benefit in helping to learn the info - and well obviously its easier to make time to play audio when u don’t need to focus 100% on it.
I also did some other misc listening to random stuff without any plan: 6? audio 1 of DeFrancis Beginner Chinese Reader, 1 audio of FSI Chinese, 2 condensed audios of Guardian (which was so cool?? also so cool i can follow along so well now??), 1 dracula chapter audio (don’t even ask i don’t know either), tian ya ke audio drama ep 1.
Chinese show episodes watched: 28 (You can see here is where my time went listening wise lol - Two Souls in One is GOOD u might wanna check it out, is all I’m saying, especially if the taiwan drama Bromance was ur thing, or the anime Ouran Host Club, or even Bureau of Transformer to a degree. I watched up to ep 25 and once its all aired to the finale I’m gonna finish it.
Optional going through my hanzi book: I burned out on this, but it was a good use of my time when I felt like writing. I only wrote/studied maybe 30 hanzi, and maybe 50 hanzi+radicals in my Radical-Specific hanzi book. If I continue, I think my goal will be to just continue the Radical-book to completion. Realistically, longer term, I need to go through the freaking Alan Hoenig’s Chinese Character’s book just to get the hanzi and their rough meaning to stick in my head (and learn the pronunciations through well context and vocab how I normally do). Right now I just learn through reading, but its an issue of sometimes I just end up associating one hanzi with the new word I learned but then as soon as I see it in a new word I don’t even remember having seen it before. If I paid a bit more attention to distinguishing I might notice when I’ve seen them before or they’re new, and have more starting info to relate to the character to attach the word info onto. (its a convoluted way of me saying if I have things to connect to each other I remember better even if it makes little sense to connect them - if I know car and pet, carpet’s easier to remember even though it has nothing to do with cars, cry in french ‘pleurer’ was easier to remember once my brain thought ‘plume of tears’ even though that makes no sense. i just remember things better than seeing pleurer and having no idea what to attach it to at all - even if i heard it means cry, if i don’t have a thing to associate it with i’ll forget easier. or melancholy - i had to associate it with melons, and cholly - reminds me of words for sickness so heavy-sick +sad is how i started finally remembering that word cause wow did i look it up over and over as a kid).
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Japanese study plan from April:
1. continue through nukemarine’s memrise courses.
Okay I did do this!! Congrats! In March I had completed LLJ 3 - Kanji, 289/318 finished in LLJ 4 Tae Kim part 1. As of April, I have completed: LLJ 4 Part 1, LLJ 4 Part 2 51/365, LLJ 5 Core Vocabulary 420/1020. So yeah! Going quite well, in that I consistently did it - I realized for me the best time to do it is playing video games oddly enough, or watching youtube - just do it in between areas, or ep scenes/videos, as a short 5-10 minute break. Since I like taking breaks from things anyway. Like audio, its hard for me to find ways to get myself to do stuff like this (except worse cause I don’t vibe with flashcards).
My goal for May will probably be finish LLJ 4 Part 2, LLJ 5, and start LLJ 6? I can dream right...
Also, a cool note: I found audio-flashcard files that people made of the Japanese Core 2k vocabulary deck and sentences, with english-japanese audio. (If anyone wants a link just let me know). So now if I DO eventually get burned out on flashcards, I could switch to using those. They would work about as well as the Chinese Spoonfed Audio files I have (which work extremely well for me - audio flashcards I just listen to are so much more suited to how I study lol). However, I’d like to stick with Nukemarine’s decks as long as possible while I can focus - they cover grammar explicitly which helps me a lot, and the reading practice COMBINED with constant audio really helps me learn the readings of words. Which is something I need for japanese a LOT more than chinese.
2. continue reading Tae Kim’s grammar guide
Ahahahahaaa hahaaa... did not do it. Nope.
What I did do that was grammar related:
Watched Cure Dolly lessons 1-5 (and will probably watch more as I seem to click well with those explanations)
Read 24 pages of Japanese in 30 Hours while transcribing actual japanese into it (and will probably continue to read it, its so short I should just DO IT in a couple days, it also fulfilled my desire to write stuff)
JapaneseAudioLessons.com - read the wa vs ga explanation, reading the portable japanese grammar notes document right now (its 11 pages I’ll finish it today). I’ve said it before but i really LOVE this resource, and they have so much for free. I absolutely recommend if a beginner wants Pimsleur or Michael Thomas or some other paid resource etc, to just go to this site, download their full lesson grammar guide (its like 311 pages like a real textbook) and go through all their free audio lessons. You will cover a lot of ground (more than Pimsleur or Michael Thomas), and all for free. In addition, I’ve bought some of their kanji teaching books and they’re overall my favorite for remembering kanji specifically (yes more than Heisig’s RTK by far, and more than KKLC - although the Kodanshi book is a good reference to have around). I’m not kidding at all when I say just try this site’s free resources if you’re trying to use free stuff, its the closest I’ve found to an audio only teaching method, or an audio/textbook-like combo, that’s this much stuff and free. (For non free, I actually liked Genki if you do everything in it).
Other misc things done in japanese:
Watched Dracula the Musical in japanese with no subs. It was super hard, but also not so hard. It changed my life. 1000/10 would recommend watching it if you even remotely like dracula OR vampires - featuring a lesbian Dracula/Mina, and more importantly a story change about who kills Dracula, and Dracula and Mina’s agency and choice being the driving force of the ending. These story changes I LOVE and I now want them in more adaptations moving forward, its what I always craved of the ending of Dracula and never got - Dracula as a person (not monster), Mina as a person (not prey), and their choices influencing how the story ends and by whom (versus Van Helsing/the establishment symbol regaining control through annihilation of the ‘threat’ to that norm). Also it gave me a new interest in Japanese plays which is cool. I did not expect to love them this much! Also gave me a boost in japanese confidence, in that I no longer feel as “scared” to try immersing in japanese or in some kinds of content that seemed ‘harder’ - and that was a big hurdle I was too afraid to do, in the past when I studied.
Watched a few more lets plays (lets guess maybe 3-5 sections of 20 minutes?). Persona 2 innocent sin (cool to see me follow along despite not knowing the game), Final Fantasy IX (this one I saved, and could definitely pick up words from since I know some of the story and the lets player read everything - I should look up FFX), random stuff.
Tried to play some games in japanese! I’m going to go with this was about 3 hours. I tried crisis core’s opening to the first save point - it was playable (I can read most of the menus), and I can follow enough text to get the overall gist - however it was draining as so much is text only (I FORGOT how much reading is in this game). Great for reading practice I suppose. Also great in that it definitely reset my expectations about what is ‘doable’ for me - however I do think KH2 is probably still the easiest game i should start trying games with (since I have so many of the controls/menu memorized and can waste less time re-reading the tutorials), and since I know so many words by memory I’ll be able to focus more on grammar (whereas in CC I was glancing through kanji trying to keep up with the live action scenes). A bit too much reading for me to tackle again for a while, it was draining lol. Then I tried persona 3 for psp - first, i like the ps2/ps3 version better ToT. Second, also somehow I could read enough to survive - but the reading again took time, a lot isn’t voiced, and there are not frequent save points. So again I just played to the first save point. That one I may try again before CC though, because a lot more of the language is daily life stuff I could glance through and speed-read-guess lol, or could actually use if I learned it. Also occassionally p3 reads out loud which is nice. I suspect the Visual Novel I got will actually be best for practice (despite me not knowing the plot at all), because I’m guessing more of the lines will be voiced. All this reading would help me more if I could hear it voiced - and I may want to watch more Lets Plays, and Audiobooks on youtube, mainly for that fact: subtitles that i can read WITH audio so i can practice listening and reading together.
Tried reading a bit! First, some mangas I had (though I only read a page of each) - mainly it was just nice to see mangas are more accessible now. they’re about as readable to me rn as manhua were in chinese at 6-8 months in. I can just about follow the main gist, more if I use a dictionary for details. Also thanks to @yue-muffin telling me, learned I can look up words on iphone in the web browser just by highlighting words and clicking “look up.” Life changing. That in combination with me finding some japanese scripts of Final Fantasy games online (and I’ve always been curious what localizations changed), and this has been a little reading I found myself doing just because i felt like it. I didn’t read much - the equivalent of several dialogue boxes (the games i played made me read a LOT more lol). but I liked that i could see their kana when i looked them up, sound the sentences out to myself, contemplate them (so intensive read). Also if you have Speech tools enabled on your phone, you can swipe down with 2 fingers and it will read the page aloud - I used to do that a little with chinese on dual chinese-englist mtlnovel pages since it WILL read both, but Pleco reads chinese better so unless i’m only-listening i switched to pleco for that. But for these scripts it works great! (occasionally it will read all-kanji titles like chinese though lol - not once its into japanese sentences though). I thought it was really cool I could basically emulate what I do in Pleco for chinese, in a normal web browser for Japanese. (Also, for websites, Idiom app seems to work ok for reading Aloud as well - possibly better - but ios iphone “Look up” dictionaries are MUCH better than Idiom app’s).
In summary basically I surprisingly enjoyed reading and might keep trying to do it just because its interesting. However in general, first: I really want 2k words done in Nukemarine’s LLJ courses (LLJ 7 would put me at 1k common words, LLJ 12 would put me at 2k so...), and I’d really like a better grammar foundation (Cure Dolly, or japanese audio lessons grammar, Nukemarine LLJ also obviously fits that task with the grammar portions, really anything). While I want to play games, again I just really realize... how much easier my life will be with a better basis of knowledge first lol. Reading I can do in bite size if I want, but playing games is Draining in between saves right now lol. While i CAN do it right now, unless its a game i really can tune out with (like KH2 maybe) then its just too intensive right now for me to tolerate too much of.
Also, again, I think doing Nukemarine’s LLJ decks as breaks while playing games/watching stuff is working great, going to keep doing that. And listening to audio flashcard files while I have dead time (like level grinding). I have been listening to the Chinese Spoonfed audio, but other options could be: the english-japanese Core 2k audio files, the Japanese Audio Lessons files (which once years ago I’d listen to while excerising). For now I’ve focused on Chinese Spoonfed audio because I know I need to FINISH something before jumping to something else lol.
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French stuff I did in April:
Listened to 6 chapters of Francais Par Le Methode Nature (and read some of them - oh i missed this book its my fave way to learn and it finally has audio!!)
listened to some bits of audiobooks (i don’t even know why, i don’t know - dracula, frankenstein, carmilla, sherlock)
read a little of Le Petit Prince (idk 3 chapters? browsing my book after finishing in chinese and... ok my heart is still a bit ;-; ... i’m gonna need to recover from this story...)
read a bit of dracula (again... idk why... also it was kind of a L R Method step 2 attempt in that I listened to audio too, but really I mainly just... read)
L R Method: 2 Chapters of Alice in Wonderland (step 2, because I have not tried step 3 yet).
What is funny as hell to me is both how many words I look up when I contemplate intensive reading (again life changed by the fact i can just highlight words and click “word lookup” on my phone). But also how I already... know I can thoroughly read without doing it. Like... yes I can look up a word I fuzzy-know to get clarification, but even my phone auto-gives me french-french dictionary first and sometimes only (is it because my google is in french), i’ve been used to french definitions only for years.. and also like... i know when i read a whole paragraph i get whatever words were fuzzy before? just read some of dracula again today and its fine. its fine. again informational texts are easier for me - but dracula being a lot of letters ‘describing what happened’ suits me quite easily (and somehow manages to be less annoying to me than the english version). like... alice in wonderland was probably the harder for all the quick adjectives/verbs used in just one or two paragraphs when i was still re-remembering vocabulary i used to know lol. Like... in a dream world i’d love to test L R Method and see HOW MUCH it can teach a person. But like... while french would be the easiest to test it with? I kind of realize i’m also at a point in french where i have more benefit just continuing to read in french and listen in french (to fix my poor listening skills). referencing the english is not really... particularly necessary, it just usually slows me down. while i’m missing a LOT of words for fluent speaking/grammatically ok speaking - i don’t think listening reading method would really help me with that, since reading sure hasn’t. if any readng material might it’s francais par le methode nature just because it drills simple correct grammar construction, and reinforces it, and teaches grammar through context. but all my other reading materials... are more comprehension...
Anyway in SUMMARY wow i did a lot more than i expected this month!
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Next months goals!
Chinese May Goals:
***Read anything. Great plan, has been working great. Ideally I would like to: finish Xiao Mao book one, and then either continue another Xiao Mao novel or start one of the other stories rated 2+ ease. I am considering 许三观卖血记 because its about as easy as the little prince, I’ve read an excerpt and its historical fiction so generally practical. Or 流星·蝴蝶·剑 by Gu Long if I want to work on a base in wuxia words from an easier novel. Or 他们的故事 by 一根黄瓜丝儿 if I’m ready to return to it - although this one is longer (the other stories being more like 12-20 chapters) so I’d prefer to save this for later. For any of these - look words up as desired since I’ll read them in Pleco. Ideally as my ‘harder’ reading I would like to either continue hanshe (intensive reading), or continue guardian (extensive reading) - so its a matter of if I want to look words up.
***Continue listening to Chinese Spoonfed Audio (please can i Finish it please ;-;)
Optional: experiment with Listening Reading Method. With the finding of those videos on youtube, I’d like to make my life literally as easy and streamlined as possible and literally just TEST L R Method by doing it with a few of the videos I found. It literally cannot get easier than premade videos with audio.
Other optional: listen to misc audio (I would love the time to watch the tian ya ke audiodrama WITH its subtitles then listen without again), watch shows, read Alan Hoenig’s Chinese Characters (i doubt this will happen), do some of my Radical-hanzi book.
Japanese May Goals:
***Continue: Nukemarine’s LLJ courses - ideally finish LLJ 4 Part 2, LLJ 5, and start LLJ 6. (this truly can be basically my only study method if I can’t do more). THIS IS THE PRIORITY. The quicker I get ALL of this done, the more of a foundation I will have to do Anything else.
Hopefully: Continue some kind of grammar explanation beyond Nukemarine’s stuff - either Tae Kim (unlikely but i was at chapter 10 before), Cure Dolly (i’m on 6), Japanese Audio Lessons Grammar, Japanese in 30 Hours while writing japanese in (I’m on page 24). Again this is a higher priority as it will make anything else easier.
Optional: Reading in any form - so video game time, lets plays, audiobook youtube with captions, actual reading as desired (like scripts). Including this because I know I will eventually try again lol.
Optional: listening in any form - so another musical! maybe listen to japanese audio lessons, or the core 2k audio, or a lets play, etc. I find I’m probably less likely to listen to something but it might happen!
French May Goals*:
*aka if I feel like doing it because french has no real goals at the moment! -3-)/
***Continue watching Le Francais Par Le Methode Nature videos. (There’s only 33, they’re like 10 minutes long or less, its about basics, PLEASE). I remember this book took forever to read 1/3 of when i was an upper beginner, well now surely its less slow going? especially because read aloud its as fast as the speakers voice! so it is not time consuming and i’ve wanted to finish this book forever! i could at least finish it up to where the audio files match to!
Read???? Read??? Honestly I’ve just been wanting to read Dracula and Carmilla in French its a vibe I’ve been in. Its not high priority or anything but hey it might happen. If it does happen, ideally I’d like to listen to an audiobook too around the same time (maybe after, or have the page read, idk). Just because while reading refreshes my vocab, what I really want to build up is listening/pronunciation. To get to a point where I can listen and shadow would be nice.
Tied to above, try L R Method? Not a high priority, though it would be super easy to test! Just because I already started testing it with Alice in Wonderland... but that basically amounts to just reading practice with audio again, for me.
I found Merlin in french so THAT is a thing.
Honestly the only thing I really want to do ‘study’ wise in french is finish that freaking book, especially now that I can listen to audio with it. It’s a nice foundation and I’d really like a refresher/fill in any big gaps in my learning. Anything else about french written here is mostly a reminder to myself to LISTEN to audio when possible, and try and improve that skill a bit if I go and read.
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Real fast CORE SUMMARY:
Chinese: READ easier stories rated 2+ and keep getting through some, in combination with reading the harder hanshe and Guardian. Also listen to Chinese Spoonfed audio whenever u remember! Attempt some L-R method with the youtube videos you found. Immerse as desired.
Japanese: continue Nukemarine LLJ courses. Also do some grammar study somewhere, and immerse as desired.
French: listen/listen-read to Francais Par Le Methode Nature. Also read/listen as desired - ideally combining the activities.
*in all cases, where possible, combine listening-reading or try to practice both skills. (So reading in Pleco - play audio afterward to practice, play Guardian condensed audio in down time, with audiodramas follow subs when possible, when immersing with anything try L-R like strategies to add practice with both skills).
#rant#april progress#april goals#may study plan#study plan#may goals#may#what i learned from this is... i have no fucking structure guys#im a mess i just do Whatever#only thing close to ANY structure is that with chinese im fairly consistent about reading#someone help me come up with a cleaner study plan?#or is the fact just that this is Just how i study???#do i just need to bounce and do random stuff?
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You should do all of them questions and 90 is true
I love you!!!!
1. Favorite instrument?
I work at a music store u can’t just ask me this. When my coworkers play it’s the saxophone or the flute, when the boys in the repair shop are testing repairs and they harmonize with each other or try to outplay one another it’s the bassoon or the trombone or whatever they’re fixing at the moment. When I hear 🎺 give his lesson on Wednesday afternoons it’s the trumpet, and when I think about middle school it’s the clarinet, the flute, the French horn. When I hear the nutcracker pas des deux is the oboe and when I hear edith piaf l’accordeoniste it’s the remarkable human voice. Really my favorite instrument is all of them, it just depends.
2. Favorite fic trope? Mutual pining 🥺
3. Sport you played for the longest amount of time? LMAO I wasn’t a sporty kid but I did ballet
4. Shoe size? 10-11
5. Most recent (good) dream? Uhh I had a dream last night about my coworker 🎹 it wasn’t bad though I can’t really remember what it was about
6. Last person in your DMs? smugg
7. Can you do a handstand? Nooo nooo lmaoo nooooo
8. Unpopular food opinion I don’t like oranges or red meat
9. Conspiracy you believe in? There’s some kind of weird weather dome in my hometown around the military base that makes most storms pass around us
10. Is your hair its natural color/style? Most of it is I dyed the bottom layer of my hair tho so it’s blonde rn
11. state a useless fact all that’s coming to mind is outright lies rn hold on. The inventor of pringles is buried in a pringles can that’s so fucking nasty omg
12. most interesting gossip you’ve heard? Idk I don’t really care for gossip uhhhh have u heard tho rin dippindogs is a huge gay hah she uhh she like men AND women lmao gaaay gaaaay
13. Middle name? Carolyn
14. Sexuality? Bisexual
15. Amount of sleep you got last night? Idk actually I think like 9-10 hrs tho I slept in until 11
16. Opinion on ice cream cake? Tasty!!!
17. Opinion on (cup)cake frosting? It’s depends buttercream is usually too sweet for me in large amounts so I prefer whipped cream frosting
18. Last board game you played? Idk??? We played hunt a killer tho last Thursday me n my family I guess that counts kinda
19. Project you want to start? I need ideas first baby
20. Project you’re working on right now? HAHAHAHAHAHA
21. TV show you’re watching? nothing rn I just rewatch bojack a lot if I watch anything
22. Last movie you watched? Lego batman I think
23. Ever left anon hate? Not legit hate
24. Ever left anon love? Yes all the time. Sometimes to strangers it’s my favorite thing to do
25. Best Disney movie? The princess and the frog
26. Best Pixar movie? Soul or Up I can’t decide
27. Best Star Wars? Um. Empire strikes back
28. Last thing you consumed? Fuit gumy
29. NoTP? Idk I don’t really hate ships unless they’re gross like pedophilic gross
30. story behind your (nick)name? When I was a fetus my great grandfather had a dream that my name should be Carolyn Marie but my parents were huge dweebs so they named me Marina after the actress of Deanna Troi in Star Trek. Idk about my nickname ive just always been Rina/Rin as long as I can remember
31. ice cream order? Lately it’s lemon sorbetto I know it’s SO high in sugar but I love it
32. describe your blog in <5 words I love you
33. how many blogs do you follow? 436
34. Describe your voice it depends usually I sound like a sick child but my customer service voice is really pleasant
35. Describe your smile it’s cute :)
36. What is the place you live known for? LMAOOO LMAO we have a military base nearby and like. I could go on abt that one but also like. There’s a lot of gang violence and a lot of the other consequences of poverty. People from the cities around us see us as “””ghetto””” or violent but it’s just. It’s more than that it’s always more than that. And idk what else there’s nothing really particularly special about this town except that we’re all here and not anywhere else
37. What is the place you’re originally from known for? (if they’re different)
38. pronouns? she/any idc
39. Languages you speak? English
40. first friend you made through tumblr? Idk. I probably don’t talk to them anymore :(
41. Person on tumblr you know in real life? my brother
42. First dog breed you think of shih tzu I have 2 next to me rn
43. room wall color? Purble!!!! The paint color is called grape juice that’s why I picked it!!!
44. Song that’s stuck in your head right now? It’s tricky to rock a rhyme to rock a rhyme that’s right on time it’s trickyyyyy
45. Favorite number? 5, 34
46. Color you associate with your name? Red
47. Favorite jolly rancher flavor?watermelon
48. Pets? 2 dogs rocket and groot and 4 cats loki danni who r from the same litter and we raised from kittens, miss kitty who we adopted from a shelter after my boy blue moon passed away and ben (his real name is Kylo Ren thanks to my mom but I refuse to call him that) he is my little baby and he has 7 toes on his front paws
49. Collections? Hot wheels
50. Character outside of your fandom you’d marry? Girl what lmaooo idk
51. Character outside of your fandom you’d kill? That’s mean :(
52. Have you met any celebrities? NO thank god id have to kill on sight
53. Favorite time period in history? Itslian Renaissance & Romantic Era
54. What time is it right now? 2:35 am oops
55. History or future? Future but like . A good one. Or prehistory
56. Space or ocean? Space
57. Fears? Abandonment
58. Command + v and post. It’s this list of questions u don’t want that
59. Favorite season? Spring
60. Describe your aesthetic. Messy just a mess, neon and old buildings and things, antiques, countryside if there weren’t so many trump pence flags still lmaoo give uppp give up, nature just al of nature and space and places humans can’t touch and places they used to touch but can’t anymore
61. MBTI? Infp but I haven’t taken it in a few years
62. What’s your relationship with your family like? Normal.
63. “Biggest fan” in your tumblr activity? I’m in mobile hold on acc to tumblr it’s akky
64. Favorite musical? Sweeney todd
65. Comfort book? Idk how to read 💔💔💔 wuthering heights tho
66. Comfort movie? Whisper of the heart
67. OTP? Girl idk
68. BroTP? Joey and Tristan yugioh
69. AUs or canon compliant? Canon ig idk
70. Opinion on the person who’s sending the ask? It’s an anon!! But I love them
71. FMK + 3 characters anon didnt leave any characters and I was going to say something very bad but I won’t
72. Dream date? I’ve wanted to do this for a while but ideally it would be after we’d been together a while maybe even engaged or whatever, I wanna go to like a Home Depot or a furniture store and pretend to be married and looking for house paints and furniture and plan what our home is going to look like I wanna do that so bad. But idk for a first/early relationship date i really want to go to the zilker botanical garden it’s one of my favorite places, we could also go to the natural gardener which is a plant nursery in Austin I really love it there too and it’s not that far from zilker.
73. Relationship status? Single
74. Ever dyed your hair? Do you plan to? Yes and perhaps. Maybe
75. Dream job/career? Idk anymore I used to have big girl goals and I haven’t had any in a while. But when I was younger I wanted to be a game warden
76. Favorite band/singer? Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky
77. Something that makes you soft/that you find adorable? My cats
78. The first thing you would do if you won the lottery? Buy a house
79. Are you superstitious? Yes
80. Character you project onto? Shizuku tsukishima
81. Fictional character you’ve had a crush on? Vergil devil may cry. Forever husband
82. Celebrity crush? LMAO
83. Person on here you’d date? my mutuals
84. Person on here you’d marry? 🥺 my mutuals
85. Person on here you’d throw into the void? Smugg
86. Other social media you have? I’ve got a photography insta that I barely use and a Twitter that’s just nintendo switch screenies that’s it
87. Finish the sentence: Due to personal reasons, ___________i will be passing away
88. Bad habit? I find it rlly hard to say no or like to say when and why I’m upset I don’t feel like for the latter I don’t feel like I should bring something that’s upsetting me up because I know I’ll get over it on my own and I don’t really trust myself to be upset about rational things. Idk I’m working on it
89. Three things you like about yourself? I’m hot, I’m kind, I’m resilient
90. Ily and you deserve the world I love you!!!!! YOU deserve it too!!!
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Lockdown - A short horror/thriller story
Recording date not found. Author Unknown. Located in the Chainwell Tor Research Facility Database. Log 1.
M: So… It looks like we’re in here for the long haul…
(Pause)
M: I think I heard somewhere that, to avoid going crazy on submarines, sailors get themselves into routines. It’s been nearly two weeks since… Well, it couldn’t hurt, I guess.
M: I started out slow. Ease myself into it, you know? Having breakfast, getting in some exercise, checking the security monitors. Still nothing. Not even cats. And cats get fucking everywhere. You know how long it’s been since I’ve seen a pigeon? Fucking… ages man. I mean not ages, but like… It’s crazy.
M: I did find a rat, though. Found him in a box of shreddies. He kept making this horrible scratching noise. It’s okay though. I fucking hate shreddies. I’ve decided to name him Jason, for obvious reasons. He now lives in a little cell I managed to rig together. He seems happy. Still likes to bite me, bloody nuisance.
M: I started going through the boxes. Some of the stuff was… Weird. I’ll say it, it was weird. I mean, who packs a Furby? In an emergency bunker? I mean who looks at Gods mistake of a children’s toy and thinks “yes, this will get me through the end of the world”. Its fucking creepy, is what it is. I’ve left it in a corner, next to the toaster. If it turns around, I’m out.
M: And now I’m talking to you. Like you’re a person. Like you care about any of this. Like you won’t outlive me by a decade, assuming, you know, the electricity stays on and nothing springs a leak.
M: But… that’s it. That’s my day. Fucking bollocks, that.
~~~
Recording date not found. Author Unknown. Located in the Chainwell Tor Research Facility Database. Log 9.
M: I decided to go exploring today. Started making a map of this place. Goes on forever. Found some cool shit, though. Greenhouse. Supply room. Hell, even found someone’s stash of porn. Truly, the essentials.
M: Coolest thing, though. I found a radio. Not one of the digital ones. Like, 80’s to 90’s shit. Looks like it was used to broadcast. Bit old school, but I think I can get it set up again. I’m hoping someone, out there, might have had the same idea. Maybe they’ll come rescue me.
M: Anyway, my day. Yes, that’s what you really want to know about. Um… Had breakfast, did exercise. Fed Jason. I swear, he’s getting fat. Picked out a book to read. “Lord of the Flies”, cheery I know. But it only seemed appropriate, given the circumstances.
(Sigh)
M: God, I sound like a dating profile. I mean, dating a computer wouldn’t be that bad but, I hate to say it, I just don’t think you’re my type. We can still be friends though. Get a pint from time to time, smile awkwardly at parties. Then you and your boyfriend will have a fight one night, and you’ll call, just wanting a friend, but we both know it’s more than that. We have one drunken night of passionate love making. But we never talk about it.
M: Ooh, that’s the timer. My steak and kidney pies ready.
~~~
Recording date not found. Author Unknown. Located in the Chainwell Tor Research Facility Database. Log 15.
M: God, that Ralphs a nark. All that “… eyes that proclaimed no evil” shit. He’s so preachy. I bet, if he had access to the internet, he’d be just as “innocent” as every other boy his age. Then we’ll see who’s so golden.
(Chuckles)
M: Same as usual. Breakfast, exercise, security cameras, tended to the greenhouse. The potatoes are coming along nicely, and the sunflowers. I’m surprised. I thought they’d need more, you know, sunlight. But halogen will have to do. I can’t exactly go and clean the windows from the outside.
M: Then I went to feed Jason… I don’t know if I should call her that anymore. Turns out he is a she. And she had babies. Tiny little pink bodies, all squirming and squeaking. Their eyes aren’t even open. Never seen a baby rat before. They’re kind of gross, but also kind of cute.
M: Went to check on the radio for a few hours. Calm my nerves a bit. It’s not every day you become a dad to five little rat shaped testicles. Thought I heard something at around seven, but it turned out to be nothing. I think it was just, like, a World War Two radio play, or something. Shooting and shouting, you know the sort.
M: But that’s it for today. Now for some good old-fashioned alone time… As if I haven’t got anything else.
~~~
Recording date not found. Author Unknown. Located in the Chainwell Tor Research Facility Database. Log 26.
M: Okay, lets get this shit over with. Woke up a little earlier than I would have liked. Damn scratching. I think Jason might be getting some cell mates soon, if I find the culprit. Had breakfast, did exercise, all that good stuff. Fed Jason and the Ratgonauts. Their skin has gone darker, so that’s good… I think… I don’t actually know. God, I wish I could ask someone. Anyway, tended to the greenhouse. Then I went to check on the radio. And, fucking hell, that’s when the interesting shit kicked in.
M: I heard someone. Out there. I’m sure of it this time. I wrote down the words. Hold on… Mm…
(Paper rustling)
M: Fuck, where is it? AH! Here. The signal was a bit shit, so I didn’t get all of it, but this is what I’ve got.
M: To anyone out there… Please… Keep… My name is Sophie. I’m in… To anyone still out there, if anyone is still out there, I am here. I am still alive. But I don’t know how long I can last. Please, if you can hear me, my frequency is… That’s where it cut out.
M: I knew it. I fucking knew it! I knew I couldn’t be the only one left. And if I’m picking up on her signal, Sophie can’t be that far away! I guess I’ll have to keep flicking through the radio signals until I find her again. But I’m gonna make dinner first.
~~~
Recording date not found. Author Unknown. Located in the Chainwell Tor Research Facility Database. Log 31.
M: She… She fucking ate them. I… I can’t…
(Pause)
M: It was normal. Breakfast, exercise, all that bollocks…
(Pause)
M: I thought it was quiet. I thought that was a bit weird. Usually, when its feeding time, Jason starts squeaking and running around… Fuck. Maybe I wasn’t feeding her enough. Maybe I needed to let her loose from time to time but… She ate them. They were gone when I looked in and I only realised when I found the tail… All five…
M: Anyway, yeah, did some gardening… Checked the radio… Nothing…
(Pause)
M: I don’t know why I’m fucking crying over rats. I kind of wanted to… But she’s the only other living thing here, except me…
~~~
Recording date not found. Author Unknown. Located in the Chainwell Tor Research Facility Database. Log 39.
M: It’s quiet without the babies. Fucking little bastards waking me up at three in the morning with their scratching but...
(Pause)
M: Got breakfast, did exercise. It’s weird. Never thought I would have, like, muscle and shit. I’m more beer belly and pork scratchings. Who would have thought it?
M: My sunflowers are doing really well. Never thought I’d like courgettes, but, you know what? They’re not that bad.
M: I think Jason got out in the night. Or maybe it was someone else that ate the rest of my lasagne. Yeah I’m looking at you, baby eater.
M: The Furby woke up today. I was just making some coffee and it fucking laughed at me, this demonic screeching noise and wiggled its fucking ears. So I did what any other self-respecting person would do. Took it and chucked it at the wall. It broke. I still have no idea how it did that. Couldn’t find a battery or anything. Gives me the creeps just thinking about it.
M: That’s… that’s not the only thing though. Fuck, I really have been out here too long. I… well, I woke up at about 1 am. Nightmares, nothing new there. I went to get myself a drink and… I think I saw something. Outside. It was sort of like a shadow, but not really. Too solid for that. And… teeth. At least, I think they were teeth. They looked like teeth.
(Sigh)
M: Fuck, I need a drink. I found a bunch of booze in the back. I know I promised… but he’s gone now. Who cares about soberness anymore, right?
~~~
Recording date not found. Author Unknown. Located in the Chainwell Tor Research Facility Database. Log 40.
M: The scratching. I think Jason’s getting kind of frustrated in the night. I keep waking up to the sound of scratching.
M: Ah… yeah, sorry. Day, yes. Um… Breakfast, exercise, feeding Jason. Sorry, I haven’t slept… at all, really. That damn scratching and… God, what was in those booze? Feels like my brain is being squeezed by an angry nun.
M: Anyway, that’s about…
(The radio is heard)
Prof S Taylor: Hello? Can anyone hear me?
M: What…? Holy shit… Um… Hello? I mean, fuck, yes! Me. I’m here! I can hear you!
Prof S Taylor: Oh my God. Finally. Hi.
M: Hello.
Prof S Taylor: I… Um… Right, no time for the gushy stuff. I’m Sophie. Professor Taylor, I should say, with the research team. Is Sargent Foster there?
M: Sargent Foster?
Prof S Taylor: You are in the bunker, right?
M: Yeah but, um, I’m not Foster and… Its just me here. No one else.
Prof S Taylor: What? Who are you, then? Name and rank, soldier.
M: Easy there, mate. I’m not a soldier. Its… It’s a little complicated.
Prof S Taylor: Whatever. We’ll talk about it more when I get there. You have supplies?
M: Yeah, sure. But not much.
Prof S Taylor: Fair enough. The higherups probably closed the whole valley in case... Has anyone attempted to contact you?
M: Nope. Only you so far.
Prof S Taylor: And its just you there? What happened to the others?
M: I… I have no idea. I thought you could tell me.
Prof S Taylor: Humm… Still, I’m on the other side of the valley. I’ll be stopping off halfway. There’s another bunker, there should be a few others there. I think their radios defective, though. Haven’t been able to get in contact. I should be with you by the end of Tuesday.
M: Wow, days still exist then? Wonder what else I’ve forgotten? Tell me, do people still shake hands anymore, or do we spit in each other’s general direction, or something?
Prof S Taylor: Oh, so you’re a comedian. That’s… something, I suppose. Listen, just sit tight. I’ll be there soon.
M: Okay. My names Matt by the way.
Prof S Taylor: That’s good to know. Nice to meet you Matt. I’ll be there soon.
(Radio is turned off)
M: … Wow. Just… Fucking wow… I should probably tidy up a bit.
~~~
Recording date not found. Author Unknown. Located in the Chainwell Tor Research Facility Database. Log 45.
M: Okay, I’m sure somethings wrong now. Jason… She’s gone missing. And that… I saw it again. I… I fucking saw it! I know I did! I’m not going crazy, right? I can’t be?
M: Jason got out. I was looking for her and… The window. I saw it out the window. Its jaw was huge, large enough to eat a German shepherd whole. And its teeth were wet and glistening. It looked like… like a cartoon skull. No lips. No nose. Just black, rubbery skin pulled back over that massive jaw and tiny skull. And the body was thin. I could see every rib and organ through the skin. And skinny legs. The arms were fucking crazy, though. Like, long and muscly. I think it walked on them…
(The radio is heard)
Prof S Taylor: Matt? Matt, you there?
M: Shit. Ugh, yeah, yeah I’m here. Where are you?
Prof S Taylor: At the other bunker. Matt… I’m not gonna make it.
M: What do you mean?
Prof S Taylor: They… They’re all dead. And I know it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have trusted it to behave. I should have stopped it.
M: What? Sophie… Are you talking about the thing with the teeth? And the weird arms?
Prof S Taylor: You’ve seen it then. The Scratcher. That’s what the office wits liked calling it. Stupid name. But… I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry. My suggestion is get out while you can. I’ll stay here, draw it to me. That should buy you some time.
M: Sophie... How far away are you? I’m sure I could reach you…
Prof S Taylor: There’s no time for that. I can see it through the trees. It shouldn’t be long now.
M: No…
Prof S Taylor: Just… Promise me one thing. If you get out, find Roshni Laghari. She’s a teacher in London. She… Tell her I loved her to. I never told her, but I did. Will you do that for me Matt? Please?
M: Y-Yes. I’ll do that.
Prof S Taylor: Thank you Matt. Thank you.
(Radio is turned off)
M: … Shit. I should never have come here. I… I really shouldn’t have… Where’s my bag?
~~~
Recording date not found. Author Unknown. Located in the Chainwell Tor Research Facility Database. Log 98.
M: I hear him. I hear him. He whispers to me at night, like the prophecies of an angry God. But I have not lost my way yet. I see him for what he is. A pig’s head. And I am the flies. I am the flies.
M: I found her today. He threw her through the greenhouse glass. My Jason. Poor Jason. I’ll tell you something, though. She was tasty. Can of beans and some whisky. Got to be careful. Don’t have too much left…
M: For fuck sake will you quiet. I hear you. I hear you all the fucking time you grinning bastard. I hear you when I sleep. When I wake up. Stop… Stop laughing at me! How you like it if I did it to you?
(Proceeds to laugh for one minute and thirty-two seconds)
M: See, I laugh at you devil. Scum. See how you like it. Because I’m not opening that door. Not for anything. Not for…
M: No. You… You can’t say that. It was… It was an accident. IT WAS AN ACIDENT! I couldn’t stop it. It wasn’t my fault. If anything, it was yours. All your fault, poor, pathetic monster. You’re the reason! You’re the reason they’re dead, not me!
M: What… What’s that?
(Gun shots)
M: Ha, they’ve come for me. They’re here for me. Yes! Take that fucker!
(The door is blown)
M: Yes! Aw man, you have no idea how good it is-
(Gun shots)
Unknown: All clear. Witness neutralised. Send in the clean up team. And send in the roundup team outside.
~~~
End of transcript. Report compiled by T. R. Fisher.
Professional recommendation that these files remained closed to public consumption for the foreseeable future under paragraph W, subsection 26 of the DPA of 1927.
Files not to be removed from The Vault without express permission, upon fear of grievous bodily harm or legal prosecution.
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List of prompts
I have put together a list of 467 prompts, which I have divided into 6 categories (Sleep, Angst, Love, 100 ways to say I love you, General, Sexual). You are welcome to request multiple prompts for one story (combine as many as you want). It is very easy to request; first, give me the category, then the number of the prompt(s), the guy you want the story to be with, and the genre of the story (angst, fluff, smut) Example: “From the love category, number 38 with Luke, make it smut.” (Disclaimer: I did not create any of the prompts. I retrieved them from the following tumblrs; rfaimagining, blissfulparket, p0ck3tf0x)
Sleep Prompts (44) 1."The bed is cold without you" 2."I can't sleep, you've been gone too long" 3."Don't be nervous, you can come closer" 4."I'm sorry my bed is so old." 5."My dog...she takes up half the bed, I can kick her off if you w—" "no, I like it" 6."Carry me up to bed?" 7."I've been living off of coffee for two days I deserve to sleep!" 8."Can we at least still sleep in the same bed?" 9."When you sleep, you snore." 10."You look so much softer, so much calmer, I wish you could see yourself as you sleep."
11."I took NyQuil instead of DayQuil on accident and now I'm about to pass out." 12."We could...take a nap together?" 13."Sleeping with you was the best sleep I've gotten in years." 14."I-I miss your arms around me as I slept, I know it's embarrassing but you made me feel safe." 15."You sleep with the stuffed animal I got you?" "Of course" 16."Your pillow smells like lavender" 17."If Heaven was a place on earth it would be you in bed wearing this right now and telling me stories until we pass out." 18."What is that noise?" "I have to listen to ocean sounds to help me sleep" 19."Is it possible to sleep for two days?" 20."I think your hair is cute when you wake up. If only you could see it the way I did."
21."Goodnight love, I'll see you in my dreams." 22."It's strange I always dream of you when you're in my arms...I also don't want it to stop." 23."You're so soft, if I could ever touch the clouds, this is what they'd feel like." 24.waking up to the other counting freckles on their face 25."I know it's embarrassing I still sleep with a Night light" 26."And then I was—oh, goodnight dear." 27."The prince/princess needs their beauty sleep" 28."I have had nightmares every night for the past three weeks and now they're gone because of you, how did you do that?" 29."You smell like vanilla." 30."The sheets are warm!"
31."I got us new pillows." 32."You should see yourself when it's 12am and the moon comes in and hits your face just right, you have a soft natural highlight at the tip of your nose and all your features come out. It's like your skin is working right in front of me." 33."Will you carry me to bed?" 34."One night, just one, I pray we can sleep on our own." 35."This is embarrassing but I had a bad dream and back home when this happens I normally just crawl into bed with my mom or sister but since they're not here anymore can I sleep with you?" 36."Keep talking, your voice helps me sleep." 37."I've spent all my nights dreaming of you in my arms peacefully sleeping and here you are." 38."Stop moving into trying to sleep" 39."It's just a nightmare, it's nothing real." 40."You should sleep in my bed more often."
41."Sorry, were you sleeping?" 42."You nap, I'll stay awake" 43."Are you awake?" 44."I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you're okay."
Angst: (44) 1."Give me a chance." 2."Not you again..." 3."Leave me alone." 4."I don't love you anymore." 5."Why do you hate me?" 6."I lost the baby." 7."I thought you loved me." 8."I don't need you anymore." 9."I can't believe you!" 10."We can't keep this up forever."
11."You're a monster." 12."I hate you." 13."Don't leave me..." 14." You're a disappointment." 15."Don't die on me– Please." 16."I never meant to hurt you." 17." Are you upset with me?" 18."I wish I'd never met you." 19."I'm going to kill you!" 20." Please don't hurt me like this."
21."Thanks for nothing." 22."Don't call this number again." 23."Why did you spare me?" 24."You need to leave." 25."I'm sick." 26."I'm dying." 27."I wish I'd never met you." 28."I thought we were family!" 29."There was never an us." 30."So that's it? It's over?"
31."I fucked up." 32."I came to say goodbye." 33." He's dead because of you." 34."I don't deserve to be loved." 35." About the baby... It's yours." 36."I...I think I may be pregnant" 37."Am I not good enough for you anymore?" 38."We're not just friends and you fucking know it." 39."I swear, there is nothing going on between us!" 40."You almost fainted."
41."Do you want me to leave?" 42."I swear it won't happen again." 43."You can't die. Please don't die." 44."I'm not good enough for you."
Love: (75) 1."I'm so in love with you." 2."Dance with me!" 3."Isn't this amazing?" 4."I wish we could stay like this forever." 5."Will you marry me?" 6."I'm pregnant." 7."I need a hug." 8."You're special to me." 9."I'm going to keep you safe." 10."Do you trust me?"
11. "Can I kiss you right now?" 12."You're cute when you're angry." 13."I've liked you for a while now." 14." Let's have a baby." 15." We'd make such a cute couple." 16."I want to take care of you." 17."Can we cuddle?" 18."It's lonely here without you." 19."I can't stand the thought of losing you." 20." Shut up and kiss me already."
21."Are you flirting with me?" 22."Is that my shirt?" 23."How did we get here?" 24."You own my heart." 25."You'd be a great dad." 26."You'd be a great mom." 27."I want to protect you." 28."What's the matter?" 29."You're so beautiful." 30."Did you do something different with your hair?"
31. "Is that a new perfume?" 32."Stop being so cute." 33."You're making me blush!" 34."You're teasing me again..." 35."This is why I fell in love with you." 36."You're the best!" 37."They're going to love you, don't worry!" 38."Oh, Are you ticklish?" 39."Of course, I remembered!" 40."You're one hell of a girl."
41. "You're one hell of a guy." 42"Are you jealous?" 43."Hold me and never let me go." 44."Stop hogging all the blankets!" 45."Let's run away together." 46."I love you more than I even realized was possible." 47."We've been married 5 years and you still make my heart race." 48."Will you shut up a moment and let me kiss you." 49."I just wanted to see you." 50."I think I'm in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me."
51."What if I told you I've been in love with you since we were kids." 52."Why can't stop thinking about you? " 53."I've been thinking about you all day." 54."Can't you stay a little longer?" 55."I could hold you forever." 56."You've learned how to dance... For me?" 57."I'm not staring, I'm admiring." 58."You are my sun and moon." 59."What? Can't I just look at you?" 60."I don't ever wanna lose you."
61."I'll drive you home." 62."I left something in your purse." 63."You look pretty tonight." 64."I'm sorry, what? I keep getting lost in your eyes." 65."I've been in love with you my entire life. Ever since the day I first met you." 66"I'm going to take care of you, okay?" 67."I shouldn't be in love with you." 68."I think I've been holding myself from falling in love with you all over again." 69."These stars are nothing compared to the ones I've seen in your eyes." 70."Before I do this, I need you to know that I have always loved you."
71."I am not losing you again!" 72."When I picture myself happy... It's with you." 73."Look, I don't have much time, but I wanted to say I love you." 74."You are the single best thing that has ever happened to me." 75."I adore you."
100 ways to say I love you 1."Pull over. Let me drive for a while." 2."It reminded me of you." 3."No, no, it's my treat." 4."Come here. Let me fix it." 5."I'll walk you home." 6."Have a good day at work." 7."I dreamt about you last night." 8."Take my seat." 9."I saved a piece for you." 10."I'm sorry for your loss."
11."You can have half." 12."Take my jacket, it's cold outside." 13."Sorry I'm late." 14."Can I have this dance?" 15."I made your favorite." 16."It's okay. I couldn't sleep anyway." 17."Watch your step." 18."Here, drink this. You'll feel better." 19."Can I hold your hand?" 20."You can borrow mine."
21."You might like this." 22."It's not heavy. I'm stronger than I look." 23."I'll wait." 24."Just because." 25."Look both ways." 26."I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." 27."Try some." 28."Drive safely." 29."Well, what do you want to do?" 30."One more chapter."
31."Don't worry about me." 32."It looks good on you." 33."Close your eyes and hold out your hands." 34."That's okay, I bought two." 35."After you." 36."We'll figure it out." 37."Can I kiss you?" 38."I like your laugh." 39."Don't cry." 40."I made this for you."
41."Go back to sleep." 42."Is this okay?" 43."I picked these for you." 44."I'll drive you to the hospital." 45."What do you want to watch?" 46."You can go first." 47."Did you get my letter?" 48."I'll do it for you." 49."Call me when you get home." 50."I think you're beautiful."
51."Are you sure?" 52."Have fun." 53."Sit down, I'll get it." 54."I made reservations." 55."I don't mind." 56."It brings out your eyes." 57."There is enough room for both of us." 58."You don't have to say anything." 59."Wow." 60."Happy birthday."
61."I'll pick it up after work." 62."It can wait until tomorrow." 63."Cross my heart and hope to die." 64."It's two sugars, right?" 65."I'll help you study." 66."Stay over." 67."I did the dishes." 68."You didn't have to ask." 69."I bought you a ticket." 70."You're warm."
71."No reason." 72."I'll meet you halfway." 73."Take mine." 74."We can share." 75."I was just thinking about you." 76."I want you to have this." 77."Call me if you need anything." 78."Do you want to come too?" 79."I'll still be here when you're ready." 80."Is your seatbelt on?"
81."Sweet dreams." 82."I was in the neighborhood." 83."Stay there. I'm coming to get you." 84."The key is under the mat." 85."It doesn't bother me." 86."You're important too." 87."I saved you a seat." 88."I'll see you later." 89."I noticed." 90."You can tell me anything."
91."I hope you like it." 92."I want you to be happy." 93."I believe in you." 94."You can do it." 95."Good luck." 96."I brought you an umbrella." 97."I'll pick you up at the airport." 98."Take a deep breath." 99."Be careful." 100."I love you."
General: (113) 1."You made me cookies?" 2."You stole what?" 3."A dragon ate your homework?" 4."I am not pregnant." 5."Oh come on you would have murdered that guy." 6."The stars are pretty tonight, aren't they?" 7."Have you ever seen something as cool as this?" 8."I know you love me and all but stop threatening the doctor." 9."I shit you not." 10."My man, I am high as a kite right now. And you are so pretty. And in the morning I'll be sober and you will still be soooo pretty..."
11."You aren't leaving here without telling me who hurt you so I can take out a can of whoop as and unleash it in their ass." 12."You just kissed me." 13."But you hate avocados..." 14."Hold up- just stop- just- what are you actually doing? It's 2 A.M." 15."I wanna travel and fuck you in every city we go to." 16."We're holding hands now." 17."Give me a little more... Just a little more..." 18."I just like proving you wrong." 19."Just pretend to be my date." 20."I'm not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention."
21."You fainted, straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention, you didn't have to go to such extremes." 22."We're in the middle of a thunderstorm and you want to stop and feel the rain?" 23."Catch me if you can!" 24."I'm fine." 25."Are you drunk?" 26."Are you high? " 27."We can't go in there..." 28."Give it back!" 29."Well, this is just great." 30."Don't touch me."
31."Not sure if you could tell, but I'm not exactly a people person." 32."This was fun— Let's do it again sometime!" 33."I didn't do it!" 34."I did it..." 35."I don't remember that!" 36."Well, that's pretty rude of you to say." 37."Get that thing away from me!" 38."You owe me." 39."Do you believe in aliens?" 40."Do you believe in ghosts?"
41."Are you hitting on me?" 42."Why are you naked?" 43."You did what?!" 44."You have... Superpowers?" 45."Why are you bleeding?" 46."Where did all these puppies come from?" 47."Don't make me come over there myself!" 48."That wasn't funny." 49."This tastes horrible." 50."This is delicious!"
51."Are you mad at me?" 52."Stop ignoring me..." 53."I love that show too!" 54."Can I borrow that book of yours?" 55"Let's blow this joint." 56."Let me help you with that." 57."Take that back!" 58."Wanna go see a movie with me?" 59."No way, that's so lame." 60."What are you listening to?"
61."I brought you your coffee." 62."Don't fuck this up." 63."Run!" 64."Let's. run away together." 65."I haven't slept in four days..." 66."Your turn to do the dishes." 67."Was I really that drunk?" 68."Was I really that stoned?" 69."Give me back my phone!" 70."You're an asshole."
71."Are you cold?" 72."This place gives me the creeps." 73."I swear my house is haunted." 74."Did you hear that?" 75."It's just your imagination." 76."Just how stupid do you think I am?" 77."Stop being such a baby." 78."Go back to bed." 79."Are you okay?" 80."I can take care of myself just fine."
81."Thanks for helping me back there." 82."Since when have we ever been friends?" 83."What on earth are you wearing?" 84."I can't feel my legs!" 85."Stop texting me weird stuff so late at night." 86."Put me down!" 87."There's only one bed..." 88."It isn't what it looks like! Okay... Maybe it is..." 89."How did I lose it?" 90."I read your diary."
91."This is awkward." 92."Didn't you read the sign?" 93."Do you think you can teach me that?" 94."Oh, my God, what are you? Five?" 95."Let's fucking dance." 96."Go get your stuff ready." 97."Be good for me while I am gone." 98."Baby, can you help me with some work." 99."All you had to do was ask" 100."Five more minutes"
101."You're stuck with me." 102."If you insist." 103."Your hand is on my ass." 104."You're not going out in that outfit." 105."Since my dog likes you, then I guess I like you." 106."You're staring again." 107."Babe, I'm never gonna finish this work if you keep doing that" 108."Like what you see?" 109."Try to stay quiet, baby..." 110."I like it when you say my name like that."
111."If we get caught I'm blaming you" 112."Looks like I've found your weakness." 113."Say that again."
Sexual: (91) 1."Bite me." -("If you insist") 2."Make me." 3."Fuck me." 4."Stop teasing me so much..." 5."Do you like it when I touch you like that?" 6."Okay.. This is new." 7."Want to head back to my place and have a little fun?" 8."You're in trouble now." 9."What a pretty sight." 10."Bend over."
11."On your knees." 12."The food looks great but... There's something much more delicious I'd like to eat right now." 13."Lay back." 14."Take off your clothes." 15."Well, fine; just this once." 16."I'm waiting." 17."You're so beautiful." 18."As you wish." 19."First one to make a noise loses." 20."You have no idea what you do to me."
21."If you're bored; Wanna have sex?" 22."I've wanted this for so long." 23."Car sex looks so much easier in the movies." 24."Can I touch you?" 25."Open up." 26."No strings attached. " 27."Already? Do I really have that much of an effect on you?" 28."Mine." -("Say it again") 29."The nights still young." 30."We cant do that here!"
31."Behave." 32."What did you just say?" 33."Good girl." 34."Good boy." 35."Come here." 36."You are mine. Do you understand me?" 37."You sure want to go there, princess?" 38."Well, I make the rules." 39."Why don't you use that smart mouth of yours for something else?" 40."Go to your/our room and wait for me."
41."Are you trying to get spanked, little girl?" 42."You are mine and just mine." 43."What am I going to do with you?" 44."Good girl." 45."Take your panties off." 46."You are so tight, babygirl." 47."Daddy loves it when you do that." 48."Can I please cum?" 49."I knooooow, it's supposed to hurt." 50."Just say the magic words and you will have all you desire, kitten."
51."Are you done checking me out?" 52."Stop biting that fucking lip, it's so distracting and hot!" 53."God, you're hot." 54."You're so fucking hot when you're mad." 55."I've never wanted anyone to fuck me this badly." 56."Don't make me take you home and punish you." 57."You're more than just a one-night stand." 58."You're not wearing anything under that, are you...?" 59."Are you trying to turn me on right now or are you really just that oblivious?" 60."I will ride you until I break you, you are mine and mine alone."
61."Who said it had to be on the bed?" 62."Open those legs. I want a taste." 63."How bad do you want me to fuck you? Hmm? Beg for it." 64."I can't stop thinking about your hands on me." 65."Fuck, you look so hot with my cock in your mouth." 66."I could just pull your bikini bottoms to the side, no one would even notice" 67."Leave the heels on, baby. Just the heels, though." 68."Could he make you feel as good as I do?" 69."Did you just smack my ass?" -"You weren't complaining last night." 70."Take. It. Off."
71."What if someone sees?" 72."I like the way you beg for it...do it again." 73."Quiet, love. You don't want the others to hear you moaning like that, do you?" 74."All this dirty talk is going to get you in trouble." 75."I was bad, Daddy..." 76."Don't bother wearing panties." 77."This is for your eyes only." 78."Teasing me will get you doomed." 79."We're in public, you know." 80."Stop teasing so much" -"Make me."
81."Either take it off, or I will happily do it for you." 82."I don't care what you do just as long as you do me." 83."Were you just touching yourself?" -'Yeah, what are you gonna do about it?' 84."Do you think they could hear us?" -'Yes we can.' 85."We're just...friends." -'Friends don't do this type of shit!' 86."How quickly can you cum?" 87."The only way you are gonna get off is on my thigh." 88."Tell me how you want it." 89."There's no way I'm gonna let you wear that in public" -'Why not?' -"Cause It would be a shame to rip it off in front of a hundred people, such nice material." 90."Shut up." -'Well, why don't you come over here and make me?' 91."Everyone keeps telling me you're the bad guy."
My Masterlist
Request
#5 seconds of summer#5sos#ashton irwin#calum hood#luke hemmings#michael clifford#5 seconds of summer imagine#5sos imagine#ashton irwin imagine#calum hood imagine#luke hemmings imagine#michael clifford imagine#prompts#imagine#wattpad#wattpad writer
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— Get to know me!
The last time I filled this out was in July of 2017 and I just wanted to see how my answers changed, the new answers are in parentheses.
1. Who was the last person you held hands with? A boy named Igor (My husband John Paul) 2. Are you outgoing or shy? Shy (Shy) 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My mom today! (JP when he gets home from work lolol) 4. Are you easy to get along with? I would say yes, I don’t really fight with anyone. (same) 5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? He already has haha. (same answer, different person) 6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Kind people. (same, also boys with long hair) 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Yes (I sure hope so) 8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? Igor (Zuko lmao) 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Nope (same) 10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Patrick (JP) 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “You can be anything you want. I’ll support you.” ( “I was just training.” ) 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? The most recent Bastille album lol. ( Waves by Bastille, Rosie by John Mayer, Swimming In The Moonlight by Bad Suns, Thank Me Later by Anna of the North, and Jackie and Wilson by Hozier) 13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? YES ( same) 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Yes (kinda) 15. What good thing happened this summer? Going to Gay Pride in Nashville (I got married) 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? HELL YEAH (ye) 17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Yes (same) 18. Do you still talk to your first crush? No (same) 19. Do you like bubble baths? Yes (same) 20. Do you like your neighbors? I don’t really talk to my neighbors (no i do not like them) 21. What are you bad habits? I doubt myself a lot. (I used to do a shit ton of cocaine and still want to do a lot of cocaine haha) 22. Where would you like to travel? YES (same) 23. Do you have trust issues? YES (same) 24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Cuddling with my cats after I wake up. (going to bed lol) 25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? I love myself totally. (All I want in this world is a fat ass) 26. What do you do when you wake up? Check my phone. (crawl over my still slumbering husband to quietly get ready for work) 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Neither. I am fine just the way that I am. (yeah same) 28. Who are you most comfortable around? Mackenzie. (JP) 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Yes. (same) 30. Do you ever want to get married? I think so. (I am married) 31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? Yes. (same) 32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? None. (same) 33. Spell your name with your chin. bdfdfmkljde (ber5klkier) 34. Do you play sports? What sports? No, I’m in band. (no, but I was in band for 11 years) 35. Would you rather live without TV or music? TV (same) 36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yes. (same) 37. What do you say during awkward silences? Nothing. That’s what makes them awkward. (lol, yeah) 38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Tall, dark, English major. (same) 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Amazon lmao. (i’m a slut for etsy and i greatly enjoy candy stores) 40. What do you want to do after high school? I’m already done with high school thank God. ( i dunno) 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? It depends. (No) 42. If you’re being extremely quiet what does it mean? Nothing. (probably thinking about zutara tbh) 43. Do you smile at strangers? Yes, I’m from the South. I think it’s ingrained in my DNA to. (yeah) 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Space boi (same) 45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? That morning wee (work and wee) 46. What are you paranoid about? That none of friends like me and that they’re all just pretending. (same) 47. Have you ever been high? Yes. (same) 48. Have you ever been drunk? Yes. (same) 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? Oh honey. (nope) 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Black. (yellow) 51. Ever wished you were someone else? Nope. (ye) 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? Nothing.(i. want. a. fat. ass.) 53. Favourite makeup brand? Probably Tarte. (NYX) 54. Favourite store? Ulta (I don’t really have one) 55. Favourite blog? I don’t have one. (I have so many now, omg @babytreehugger @hugs4zuko @pineapple-frenzy @bluelady-atla @aprilmayship and @firelxdykatara are a few of them!) 56. Favourite colour? Light green. (same) 57. Favourite food? Pasta (same) 58. Last thing you ate? Pasta lmao. (does espresso count? if not, then pizza for dinner last night) 59. First thing you ate this morning? I haven’t yet. (espresso, lol, i have yet to have food today) 60. Ever won a competition? For what? Nope. (do band competitions count? if so, yes) 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? Nope. (same) 62. Been arrested? For what? Nope. (same) 63. Ever been in love? Yes. (yeah boiiii) 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? I was in seventh grade. It wasn’t great. (that’s pretty much it) 65. Are you hungry right now? No. (also no) 66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? No. (no, but more gently this time) 67. Facebook or Twitter? Facebook. (neither tbh) 68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr (same) 69. Are you watching tv right now? No. (same) 70. Names of your bestfriends? Carleigh, Karlee, Maria, Mackenzie, Emily, Josh, and Allen!! (same, but now i have JP, another Maria, Scott, Corbin, and pretty much all of my sbux coworkers) 71. Craving something? What? Not really haha. (same) 72. What colour are your towels? Different colors. (same) 72. How many pillows do you sleep with? Three. (five lmao) 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Yes. (yes) 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? I only have two with me at my apartment, but more at home. (five) 75. Favourite animal? Dragon. (same) 76. What colour is your underwear? Pink. (blue) 77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla (depends on what is being offered) 78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Vanilla (birthday cake) 79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Gray (red plaid) 80. What colour pants? Blue nike shorts. (red plaid. yes it’s 1:59 pm. yes i’m wearing pajamas) 81. Favourite tv show? Avatar: the Last Airbender. (same) 82. Favourite movie? The Way He Looks (same) 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Mean Girls (ye) 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? 21 Jump Street (ye) 85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? I don’t have one. (ye) 86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? I don’t have one. (ye) 87. First person you talked to today? Sage (John Paul) 88. Last person you talked to today? Jaimy (John Paul) 89. Name a person you hate? I don’t hate anyone. (da president) 90. Name a person you love? Mackenzie. He’s kind of my hero. (Same, but also my husband I reckon) 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? No one really haha. (same) 92. In a fight with someone? No. (currently, no. in the past? yes. this question is weird) 93. How many sweatpants do you have? One. (still just one) 94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? Four or five. (so many) 95. Last movie you watched? Logan (I have no idea about the last movie i watched and also no idea what movie “Logan” is) 96. Favourite actress? I don’t think that I have one. (same) 97. Favourite actor? Avan Jogia. (same i reckon) 98. Do you tan a lot? No. (same) 99. Have any pets? Yes, three cats! (same three cats and now a dog) 100. How are you feeling? Tired. But that’s nothing new. (lmao yeah same) 101. Do you type fast? Yes. (ye) 102. Do you regret anything from your past? Oh honey (ahaha :’) ) 103. Can you spell well? Yes. (i am okay) 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? OH BUDDY (ye) 105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yes. (same) 106. Ever broken someone’s heart? Yes. (same) 107. Have you ever been on a horse? Yes. (same, and never again) 108. What should you be doing? Sleeping. (writing or cleaning) 109. Is something irritating you right now? No. (no) 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Yes. (ye) 111. Do you have trust issues? Oh yeah. (ye) 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? My mom. (JP) 113. What was your childhood nickname? Gertie. (that one and also ‘berkel’) 114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yes. (ye) 115. Do you play the Wii? No. (still no) 116. Are you listening to music right now? Yes, the Danish String Quartet. (no) 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? It’s okay. (it is still just an okay soup) 118. Do you like Chinese food? Hell yeah. (HELL YEAH) 119. Favourite book? Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell. (same) 120. Are you afraid of the dark? I used to be, but not anymore. (yes) 121. Are you mean? No, being mean gets you nowhere in life. (no) 122. Is cheating ever okay? No. (also no) 123. Can you keep white shoes clean? Hell nope. (still nope) 124. Do you believe in love at first sight? No. (sorta kinda) 125. Do you believe in true love? Yes. (yeah) 126. Are you currently bored? A little. (no) 127. What makes you happy? A good book, a cup of coffee, and a cold rainy day. (same) 128. Would you change your name? I used to want to change it to something “normal” but not anymore. (I need to because it’s been six months since i got married and i have yet to legally change my last name) 129. What your zodiac sign? Gemini. I was supposed to be a cancer though, my mom just couldn’t chill lol. (same) 130. Do you like subway? It’s okay. (same) 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?Probably just hope that it goes away. I don’t like change. (still same, except I’d probably tell JP about it) 132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? I answered this earlier, and it’s still Patrick. (Still JP) 133. Favourite lyrics right now? The song Blackbird by the Beatles in its entirety. (WAP, in its entirety) 134. Can you count to one million? Yes. ( probably? yes. will i? no.) 135. Dumbest lie you ever told? There is no telling. (that one time i faked my death when I was like, 14.) 136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed. (cracked open) 137. How tall are you? 5′4. (still 5′4) 138. Curly or Straight hair? I have curly hair. (same) 139. Brunette or Blonde? I have blonde hair. (same) 140. Summer or Winter? Winter. (same) 141. Night or Day? Night. (same) 142. Favourite month? December. (same) 143. Are you a vegetarian? No, but I have been in the past. (no) 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Milk. (sameO 145. Tea or Coffee? COFFEE (BOTH) 146. Was today a good day? Yes. (it was alright I reckon) 147. Mars or Snickers? Neither. (same) 148. What’s your favourite quote? “fire cannot kill a dragon.” (anything uncle iron says ever) 149. Do you believe in ghosts? Hell yeah. (ye) 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “He was so snug in there that he was able to pretend that he was safe at home, having survived the war, and that he was telling his parents and sister a true war story–whereas the true war story was still going on.” From Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut. ( “‘They plant when they’re hot. It doesn’t mean they’re angry or hungry.’ I hesitated, watching her. ‘You’ve never seen one before, have you?’” From “Parable of the Sower” by Octavia E. Butler)
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Get to know me?
Yoooo - yall remember Myspace, and people would blog survey posts lol. Well thats me, I’m people. And I just wanna write my lil heart out and avoid all of my real life responsibilities. So found a lil questionnaire thing and I’m gonna fill it out. Also lowkey like doing this every so often so I can look back on it and reflect and see how much I may have grown/changed/shifted viewzzz ya feel? :)
Sooo here yall go <3
1. Who was the last person you held hands with?
My neice maybe?
2. Are you outgoing or shy?
People who know me would tell me to put outgoing, but I honestly feel shy on the inside, so it just depends.
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?
Literally anyone lmao fuck this quarantine
4. Are you easy to get along with?
Definitely
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?
Lets hope so
6. What kind of people are you attracted to?
Kind souls <3 always notice how they talk to their friends and family, but even people they don’t know like servers or janitors, etc. that shit matters heavy.
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?
Probably not
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?
A few homies
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
Nah not really, just depends
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
Not sure -it’s been a min since I had a “deep” connection or convo that I can remember - but was probably with my bestie R’Bo
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?
“Google that shit” lmao me, giving advice to my friends
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?
TOUGH!!!! After Hours by The Weeknd is up there, Cayendo by Frank Ocean (been jamming his shit HAARD lately) and Inside Friend by Leon Bridges & John Mayer….but also been listening to albums - like Childish’s new album, Floreyyy for lo-fi shit, and also got into 070 Shake recently just to name a few.
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?
FUCK YA
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?
Yeah budddyy
15. What good thing happened this summer?
Idk, my bday party was lit?? And lots of river floats happened
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Lol
17. Do you think there is life on other planets?
Cant deny that there isn’t so yaaa
18. Do you still talk to your first crush?
No
19. Do you like bubble baths?
Yes
20. Do you like your neighbors?
Just moved, so don’t know em
21. What are you bad habits?
Procrastination lol and biting my nails
22. Where would you like to travel?
Literally ANNNYY-fuckin-WHERE!
23. Do you have trust issues?
Hmm I wanna say generally no, but I also always keep it one hunnnid with myself, and as much as I’d like to say I don’t have any - I think I def have insecurities with myself, that have the potential to become “trust issues” in certain relationships, but overall no. I live by the whole “you have my trust til you fuck it up” mantra
24. Favorite part of your daily routine?
Coffee in the morning lately, missed it and forgot how energized it makes me - gives me time to wake up and reflect/set daily goals
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?
Stomach forever :((((
26. What do you do when you wake up?
Scroll on my phone, pee usually, or feed my cat lol
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?
Tanner maybe?
28. Who are you most comfortable around?
My mom or my best friend R’Bonney - but any of my close friends and fam honestly
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?
Not directly
30. Do you ever want to get married?
Lol ok, so this is always changing…but lately (and by lately I mean the past few years) its been a no. I’m open minded though and am aware that I’m always changing my mind sooo who knows
31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?
yeppperoo
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?
Honestly, those aren’t my “thing” lollike id prob laugh or be awkward or just have to be hellllla drunk - but like I wouldn’t mind Jason Momoa and Tom Hardy tossin me around
33. Spell your name with your chin.
hjaylkee
34. Do you play sports? What sports?
Scocer back in the day - actually went and kicked it like a week ago for the first time in YEARSSSS - felt so damn good
35. Would you rather live without TV or music?
TV, music forreeevverrr
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?
Lol story of my life
37. What do you say during awkward silences?
“Soooo” then probably ask a question or some shit lol
38. Describe your dream girl/guy?
Hmmm…definitely have to be funny/have a good sense of humor. They’d have to be open-minded for sure. Up for trying new things, places, cultures, food, music, etc. Just have an adventurous spirit I guess when it comes to that. Have a good line of communication/openness - and just be able to have a deep/intellectual convo about anything and everything. Bonuses: taller than me, likes cooking, and going to music shows.
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?
Amazon lol I hate shopping
40. What do you want to do after high school?
To go back to high school :( lmao so much id re-do, cant believe its almost been a decade
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Hell yeah, this is life my dudes, dont take it so seriously - we all fuck up at some point or another
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?
Something is on my mind for sure, or im just tired lol
43. Do you smile at strangers?
Yeah
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?
DAMNNN WHAT so hard - I guesss if I had to pick, space…just because it’s more rare/harder to do I’d think.
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?
My cat lol with his meowing ass
46. What are you paranoid about?
Lowkey a lot lol
47. Have you ever been high?
8)
48. Have you ever been drunk?
Who hasn’t????
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?
naw
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?
Black probably, like half my wardrobe
51. Ever wished you were someone else?
Of course
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?
My bad habits
56. Favourite colour?
Yelllllow :)
57. Favourite food?
Oh gaaawwd, literally anything - lately: PB&J’s, fries, wings, Mediterranean, Mexican, pickles, ice cream, ramenzzzz
58. Last thing you ate?
Pistachios
59. First thing you ate this morning?
Cofffeeee w creamer
60. Ever won a competition? For what?
Idk, not off the top of my head - maybe something back in elementary
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?
Nah
62. Been arrested? For what?
Yeah lmao
63. Ever been in love?
Yes
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?
No its really not that interesting and idc to type it out
65. Are you hungry right now?
24/7/365
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?
Lol yes a few of them <333
67. Facebook or Twitter?
FB
68. Twitter or Tumblr?
Tumblr
69. Are you watching tv right now?
Noooo
70. Names of your bestfriends?
R’Bonney is number 1
71. Craving something? What?
Foooood, and companionship? Lol
72. What colour are your towels?
Idk, random, mostly blue
72. How many pillows do you sleep with?
A lot lol
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
Lol no, but I have my one from my childhood in my room
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?
1 - shout out to you Mr.Fluffy
75. Favourite animal?
I am fascinated by sharks; and like gators/crocs. But I have mad respect for elephants, they’re sooo damn smart and beautiful.
76. What colour is your underwear?
Dont have any on
77. Chocolate or Vanilla?
BITCHHHH CHOC
78. Favourite ice cream flavour?
All of them
79. What colour shirt are you wearing?
Tie-dye
80. What colour pants?
none
81. Favourite tv show?
Game of Thrones prob
82. Favourite movie?
Avatar or Shawshank Redemption
87. First person you talked to today?
Sissy
88. Last person you talked to today?
Friend on FT
89. Name a person you hate?
No one, maybe Trump? lol
90. Name a person you love?
Everyone, fr fr
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?
Nah
92. In a fight with someone?
Nah
93. How many sweatpants do you have?
Not enough <3
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?
Not enough <3
95. Last movie you watched?
The Decline on Netflix, short lil foreign oil, was deep/interesting
96. Favourite actress?
Not sure-Sandra Bullock? Or Meryl
97. Favourite actor?
Denzel or Morgan Freeman
98. Do you tan a lot?
Nah not anymore honestly
99. Have any pets?
Yessss
100. How are you feeling?
Mediocre
101. Do you type fast?
Ya
102. Do you regret anything from your past?
Im sure
103. Can you spell well?
Ya
104. Do you miss anyone from your past?
Lol im nostalgic af, so yes
105. Ever been to a bonfire party?
Yes litttty tittyyy
106. Ever broken someone’s heart?
Probably :(
107. Have you ever been on a horse?
Hell yeah brother, I’m from TX
108. What should you be doing?
So much shit lol
109. Is something irritating you right now?
The fact that I ain’t doing all the shit I should be lol
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?
Yooo yes
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
Prob my sister or my mom?? Lol I cry a lot, idk and idc
113. What was your childhood nickname?
Hayls?
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?
Yes
115. Do you play the Wii?
Back in the day
116. Are you listening to music right now?
Surprisingly, no
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?
Nah, unless maybe if its homemade
118. Do you like Chinese food?
Yeah occasionally, more of a Thai food chick or Japanese
119. Favourite book?
Kite Runner
120. Are you afraid of the dark?
Low-key sometimes lol
121. Are you mean?
Hell noooo
122. Is cheating ever okay?
Ok, this is an interesting one lol I mean no, it’s not “okay” - since it usually constitutes lying/hiding/hurting someone - BUTTTT, for a lack of a better term - I wanna say it’s “normal”? But thats because I, personally, am on the fence about the concept of monogamy. Like no, I’ve never cheated nor experienced that in return - but the whole concept of monogamy and like that a person can love and only love or be with one person is WILLLLDDD and I can’t help but note that its a social construct that we, as a society, are conditioned to from the time we are born. Idk if that makes sense bc im high af lol but those are my thoughts…like to sum it up - cheating is fucked up and sucks, but at the same time its not all that surprising/shocking anymore, like borderline “normalized” just as divorces are and shit, so I feel like bc biologically we aren’t made to be with one person lol. I don’t condone it tho. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.
123. Can you keep white shoes clean?
Hell to the naw naw
124. Do you believe in love at first sight?
Hmmm idk about that one, but also can’t deny it
125. Do you believe in true love?
Yeah of course, you’re talking to a hopeless romantic
126. Are you currently bored?
I guess we could say that
127. What makes you happy?
Food and close, loved ones
128. Would you change your name?
Nah, too much paper work
129. What your zodiac sign?
Cancer, with my lil moody, sensitive ass
130. Do you like subway?
I did lol
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
Story of my mf life lol literally all my exes are “best friends turned lovers” situation, so guess it would just depend lmao
132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
133. Favourite lyrics right now?
Lol oh godddd; ok off the top of my head - Tupac - Keep Ya Head Up is what comes to mind; just a timeless song and the lyrics are still relevant/apply to this day and idk just really resonate with the message behind that song <3
135. Dumbest lie you ever told?
Idk, but it was probably SO dumb, and told to my parents lol
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?
Either or, lately open so my cat can go in and out lol
137. How tall are you?
5’6 mayyybeee 5’5 actually lol
140. Summer or Winter?
Fall!!
141. Night or Day?
Def a lil night owl, always have been
142. Favourite month?
April and October for weather at least
143. Are you a vegetarian?
No but I try, and go through phases, I’m definitely mindful the older I get and more focused on my health I become
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?
FUCKIN ALLLLL
145. Tea or Coffee?
Coffee but I like tea too, just seem to drink coffee more regularly
146. Was today a good day?
The grateful-to-just-be-alive in me wants to say yes lol but idk, felt off/unaccomplished and cried a lot, so no.
147. Mars or Snickers?
Snickers
148. What’s your favourite quote?
“This too shall pass”
149. Do you believe in ghosts?
Sure why not
150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?
“After all, what he had always wanted was just that: to know new places.” -The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho
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Prompt List And Who I Will Write For
When requesting a oneshot you can but are not required to choose a prompt off this list (which is one of @marauder-exe‘s prompt lists that im using because i physically cant produce prompts lol) and just tell me what character you want it with (i will list characters and ships that i write for at the end)
Send requests here
Angst
1. “I love you ! Is that what you wanted to hear ?”
2. “I love him/her, and I know that I shouldn’t.”
3. “Can you just shut your mouth ?”
4. “wHY DO YOU KEEP LYING TO ME ?”
5.“We both know that I should walk away, but I can’t.”
6. “Wait, he/she has a girlfriend/boyfriend ?“
7. “I lo—-” “No, please… Don’t say that. You love her/him, not me.”
8. "Could you just take this pain away ? It hurts, so much… Help me.”
9. “You’re safe here, I got you.”
10. “Don’t ask her out again, please… You’re killing me, every single time you ask that.”
11. “Look, he/she wants you, just make him/her happy.”
12. “If you go, I’ll know that you never loved me.”
13. “We never were just friends, and you know it.” “I know it, but you deserve someone better than me.”
14. “SHE WAS CRYING BECAUSE OF YOU!!!”
15. “You love me like I’m the person who actually deserves your love.” “But you are the only one who deserves it.”
16. “I know for a fact that you’re not “fine”.”
17. “You’re looking at me like.. you’re disgusted. What did I do? Just tell me what I did, please!”
18. “What happened between us?”
19. “Nothing has changed!” “Yes it has, and you know it.”
20. “Love isn’t supposed to hurt this badly.”
21. “You said you needed space. You were 5,000 miles away for a year, and you’re still unsure. I’m starting to think that an entire universe apart wouldn’t be enough space for you.”
22.“I remember when he/she/they used to look at me that way”
23. “I want you to list every lie you ever told me. Then I’ll forgive you.”
24. “I don’t hate you. I hate that after all of this, you’re still trying to lie to me”
25. “I can’t keep this secret for you anymore.”
26.. “I’m sorry I’m not what you signed up for.”
27.“Why she/her/them? It could have been anybody, and you chose to betray me with her/him/them.”
28. “This will be the last time you lie to me.”
29.“You never loved me, did you?”
30. “You made me miserable and I still loved you.”
31. “Everytime something goes well, I momentarily forget how much I despise you.”
32. “We’re never going to have a happy ending, just remember that.”
33. “Don’t pretend like you’re not happy to see me like this.”
34. “Your mind must be a horrible place.”
35. “Hand me the gun and I’ll kill him myself.”
36. “And I thought you loved me.” “ And I thought I loved you.”
37. “ Aren’t you even going to cry?”
38. “I didn’t expect you to wait forever. I just hoped…”
39. “Did you always know that you were going to leave?”
40.“If you cry, I’ll stay, and if I stay that will just give you another reason to hate me.”
41. “I’m addicted and at this point I don’t think anything could make me stop.”
42. ”If you wanna know, then ask.”
43.“You never asked because you knew I wouldn’t tell you what you wanted to hear.”
44. “We grew apart, and at this point I’m glad.”
45. “Find somebody else to kiss your ass.”
46. “When are you going to stop clawing for something that’s never going to happen?”
47. “What you’re doing is going to kill you one day.”
48. “It was easier to believe that the you I knew was dead than deal with the fact that I still have to see you every day.”
49. “What you’re doing is going to kill you one day.”
50. “Why do you have tO BE SUCH A HYPOCRITE ALL THE TIME” (this is my prompt bc the numbers were being weird)
Fluff
51. “You’re hair is really soft after you wash it.”
52. “Ssh. Stop fussing. I’m just braiding your hair.”
53. “You smell really nice.” 54. “Would it be all right if I borrowed your sweater? It smells like you.”
55. “I might have slept with your robe when you were gone.”
56. “If you steal the blankets, I am going to put my cold feet on you.”
57. “Here, let’s share the blanket.”
58. “You’re comfy.”
59.“You are very endearing when you are half-asleep.”
60.“But I want to hear you sing.”
61.“Don’t get up - I’ll do it.”
62.“Care to give me a back scratch?”
63.“I think I love you.”
64.“Your bed head is really cute.”
65.“How about a kiss?”
66.“You made this for me?”
67.Aw, you’re blushing.”
68. Uh oh, I know that look. What do you want?”
69. “Let me help you with that.”
70. “I don’t want to forget this moment.”
71.“Are you really flirting with me right now?”
72.“I like the way your hand fits in mine.”
73.“You have something in your hair, umm… Do you want me to get it out?”
74.“It’s nice that your voice was the first thing I heard today.”
75.“This movie is really scary, but you’re into it so I’m trying not to cover my face the whole time, but- WHAT IS THAT?”
76.“Wait, don’t pull away… Not yet.”
77.“Half the time I get too embarrassed to say anything”
78.“No, it’s fine. I can wait until you’re done talking to them.”
79.“No, like…. It’s just, I can’t believe you’re actually wearing my clothes.”
80.“You’re a big piece of inspiration for this, honestly.”
81.“I’ve been trying to get ready for like an hour and a half, because I know you’re going to look so good and I need to try and match up.”
82.“I wanted to say “I love you” for the first time without stuttering, but that failed.”
83.“My friends get so annoyed by how much I talk about how sometimes.”
84.“No, mom, don’t tell him/her I said that about him/her!”
85.“I can’t get over how a few months ago I wanted to learn your name and now you’re having breakfast with me in my sweater.”
86.“ You are so beautiful — So fucking beautiful. “
87.“And just WHERE do you think you’re putting your hands?”
88.“Wow, you look even better in the daylight.”
89.“I don’t remember ever having this many hickeys. But I don’t mind.”
90.“We could order pizza and just stay like this all day.”
91.“It was always you.”
92.I love you in every possible way.”
93.“I didn’t mean to love you so much.”
94.“Don’t you hurt a single hair on his/her/their head.”
95.“Duck, you idiot!”
96.“Hey. Pal. I’ve got a wand and I’m not afraid to use it.”
97.“Shh, you’re safe. I won’t let you go.”
98.“It’s not a double date. We’re just third and fourth wheeling.”
99.“Look, I know we don’t know each other that well, but I’m still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone.”
100.“I remember practicing how to ask you out in the mirror..”
Sarcasm
101.“Define normal.”
102.“Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?”
103.“Just remember if we get caught, you’re deaf and I don’t speak English.”
104.“Don’t look for any redeeming qualities. I don’t have any.”
105.“It’s amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm.”
106.“I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.”
107.“And you wonder why you’re still single.”
108.“Remind me to kill you. Please.”
109.“That’s a little melodramatic, don’t you think?”
110.“She’s crazy. And just when you think you’ve reached the bottom of her craziness, there’s a crazy underground garage.”
111.“She may seem like lollipops and rainbows but I bet behind close doors she’s latex and whips.”
112.“If my day gets any worse, I’m asking hell if they’re having an exchange program.”
113.“Sorry. I don’t speak skank.”
114.“My middle finger salutes you.”
115.“I don’t have enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel.”
116.Somebody’s cranky.” “Somebody needs to shut up.”
117.“Oh darling. Go buy a brain.”
118.“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
119.“All due respect, but that’s a bunch of crap.”
120.“I am one of the few people in the world who can murder you and leave no forensic evidence behind.”
121.“Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.”
122.“What did I tell you about calling her/him the devil?” “That it’s offensive to the devil?”
123.“I heard that!” “You were supposed to!”
124.“I need therapy after this.”
125.“You didn’t get in trouble for lying. You got in trouble for lying badly.”
126.“I turned out liking you a lot more that I originally planned.”
127.“I think you’re weird.” “I think you’re boring.”
128.“I’m afraid I’ve been thinking…” “A dangerous pastime.”
129.“Wow, there’s a big surprise. I think I’m going to have a heart attack and die from surprise.”
130.“I’m gonna hit you so hard, it’ll make you ancestors dizzy.”
131.“Sarcasm is the body’s natural reaction to stupidity.”
132.“Well, excuse me, psychic wonder!”
133.“Don’t look in her eyes, she might steal your soul.”
134.“She’s hot, but she’s evil.”
135.“Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.”
136.“I already know that I’m going to hell. At this point it’s really go big or go home.”
137.“I’m not a damsel in distress. I’m a damsel doing damage.”
138.“So stick that in your juice box and suck it.
” 139.“Never take life seriously. No one ever comes out alive anyway.”
140.“Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.”
141.“Why should we date?” “Because we are attracted to each other.” “I am attracted to pie, but I do not feel the need to date pie.”
142.“Neither one us is drunk enough for this conversation.”
143.“You’re questioning my methods.” “I’m not questioning it, I’m saying it’s stupid.”
144.“Wow, somebody needs a Happy Meal.”
145.“I didn’t do it!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because whoever did it is a freaking genius.”
146.“Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.”
147.“You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.
148.“Obviously you have mistaken me for somebody who gives a shit.”
149.“Rule number one: don’t bother sucking up. I already hate you, that’s not going to change.”
150.“You make no sense to me.” “Welcome to my life.”
Drama
151.“Can you stop thinking about yourself for once?”
152.“Can you stop thinking about yourself for once?”
153.“Don’t think I forgot about what you did last time.”
154.“I know you lied to me.”
155.“I’m not even sorry.”
156.“You backstabber!”
157.“I never want to see you again.”
158.“You never mattered to me.”
159.“I knew this was a bad idea.”
160.“Rot in hell.”
161.“It was supposed to be a secret!” 1
62.“No one loves me.”
163.“He/she/they is/are so petty…”
164.“You made me cry.”
165.“I don’t know who you are anymore.”
166.“How DARE you?!”
167.“I know you’re not talking to me…”
168.“I SAW you with him/her/them!”
169.“Just leave me alone.”
170.“What did you do?!”
171.“I told everyone that I didn’t want to talk but I’m actually dying for attention.”
172. “Just admit that was extra…”
173.“I forgive, but I don’t forget.”
174.“Did you see what he/she/they was/were wearing?”
175.“So what if I had sex with your ex?”
176.“There’s something I have to tell you…”
177.“I can’t do this anymore.”
178.“You weren’t there for me when I needed you the most.”
179.“I never loved you.”
180.“It’s too late.”
181.“Quit ignoring me.”
182. “Don’t you get it? It’s because I love you!”
183.“I love you. I’m sorry.”
184.“I don’t want to be friends.”
185.“Can we please pretend I never said that?”
186.“Friendzoned again.”
187.“You should’ve loved me when you had the chance.”
188.“Fuck you for toying with my emotions like that.”
189.“I was there for you when no one else was!”
190.“Alright – I can tell a ‘no’ when I hear it.”
191.“I’m sorry I acted so creepy.”
192.“Fuck. It’s like what they say – nice guys finish last…”
193.“I’m tired of keeping this secret. Even if you don’t love me back.”
194. “I knew that’d be your answer. That’s why I never told you before.”
195.“When I said I loved you, I meant it.”
196.“Is there any part of you, deep down, that might love me back?”
197.“You were the one that left all those notes for me?”
198.“You’re in a relationship with another person – you know this can’t end well.” 199.“We agreed this was just physical!”
200.“I love you. I know you don’t love me, so don’t say it back.”
Characters/people i write for
Marvel
Steve rogers
Clint Barton
Scott Lang
Tony Stark
Sam Wilson
Thor Odinson
Loki Laufeyson
Bucky Barnes
Peter Quill
Peter Parker
Pietro Maximoff
Bruce Banner
Stucky (ship)
Criminal Minds
Spencer Reid
Derek Morgan
Aaron Hotchner
Greys Anatomy
Alex Karev
Mark Sloan
Andrew Deluca
Actors
Matthew Gray Gubler
Chris Evans
Tom Holland
Tom Hiddleston
Johnny Depp
Jensen Ackles
Sebastian Stan
Daveed Diggs
Colin O’Donoughue
Once Upon A Time
Killian Jones
Jefferson
Harry Potter
Fred Weasley
Sirius Black
Remus Lupin
Draco Malfoy
James Potter
wolfstar (ship)
Miscellaneous
Steven Hyde (That 70s Show)
Jack Sparrow (Pirates Of The Caribbean)
Dean Winchester (Supernatural)
#supernatural fic#fanfiction#potc#supernatural x reader#that 70s show#harry potter#once upon a time#x reader#chris evans#sebastian stan#colin o'donoughue#johnny depp#greys anatomy#avengers#marvel fanfiction#oneshots#prompts#ships#stucky#wolfstar
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Prompt List
My list of prompts that I’ve found on the internet or from movie quotes for one-shots; pick a character, pick one or more dialog prompts below and send in a request! Maximum prompts per request is three.
List of character I will do:
Axel Cluney (Deadpool 2)
Bob Gray (IT)
Henry Pearl (Battle creek)
Gordan Merkel
Mark (Assassination Nation)
Mickey (Villains 2019)
Roman Godfrey (Hemlock Grove)
The Kid (Castle Rock)
1: “Sometimes I get sad and I don’t know why. I’m sorry.”
2: “I hope you find the happiness you pretend to have.”
3: “I would love you in any shape, in any world, with any past. Never doubt that.”
4: “If your life had a face I’d punch it.”
5: “Do you have any fucking clue what you do to me?”
6: “Sometimes I wish I could turn back time. Not to change anything, just to feel some things twice.”
7: “I feel like I should stop thinking about you, but I can’t”
8: “It’s a classic. He/she loves someone else.”
9: I think you’re enough. You’re enough for you. You’re enough for me.”
10: “I have nothing.“ “You have me. Am I not enough?“
11: “ I shouldn’t be jealous, he/she isn’t/aren’t even mine to be jealous over.”
12: “Who am I to be in love when your love was never for me?”
13: “Except for being a bit fucked in the head, I’d say he/she’s normal.”
14: “I love you. I knew it the moment I met you. I’m sorry it took me so long to catch up.”
15: “Words... how little they mean when you’re a little too late.”
16: “It’s a party. So I’m pretending to have fun.”
17: “When was the last time you were hugged?”
18: “How can someone just not be there anymore?”
19: “That wasn’t very romantic. Kind of gross too.”
20: “I’m not a person you should fall in love with.“
21: “I don’t mind you breaking my heart.”
22: “Do you know how it feels when the person you love the most tells you that you shouldn’t love them?”
23: “Just admit it; you want to kiss me.” “Or maybe you want to kiss me and you think using reverse psychology is going to make me kiss you.”
24: “Did you really just push that guy/girl off the couch so you could cuddle with me?” ‘Yes.” ‘This is why I love you.”
25: “Is there at particular reason you’re in my room half-naked?”
26: “Oh, would you look at that. There’s nowhere to sit besides my lap.”
27: “Can I have some of that blanket? I’m freezing.”
28: “Why are you so jealous?”
29: “What’s the matter, love?” “Nothing, I’m just a little sad.” “Come here.”
30: “I know I’m supposed to be mad at you, but I miss you so much.“
31: “What did I ever do to you?”
32: “I’m just scared that you’ll leave me one day.”
33: “I wanna kiss you so bad right now.” “So then kiss me.”
34: “I can’t sleep. I had a nightmare again.”
35: “I can’t have a proper conversation if you’re shirtless.”
36: “Holding you in my arms is the best feeling in the entire world, and I don’t ever want to give that up.”
37: “You know I’d never leave you. I love you too much and I’m too selfish to walk away.”
38: “Did you... shit, that was smooth as fuck.”
39: “You’re better than my favorite fictional character, and that’s saying a lot.”
40: “You may not be my first girlfriend, but you‘re the only one that matters.“
41: “Out of all the things I like to eat, you’re my favorite.”
42: “I always joke around because it makes you smile and I love seeing you smile.”
43: “Why are you so quiet around me?” “Because I’m worried I’m gonna say something stupid and scare you away.”
44: “Stop looking at me like that!” “I’m sorry to have to be the one to inform you, but that’s what eyes do.”
45: “My mom would love you.”
46: “I’ll always be there.”
47: “You can miss someone and still be mad at them.”
48: “The more people you let into your life the more they can just walk right out.”
49: “Why are you like this?” “Unresolved daddy issues.”
50: “I was being sarcastic.“
51: “It’s no big deal.”
52: “You scared the shit out of me.”
53: “Thanks, but no thanks.”
54: “That’s easier said than done.”
55: “Wow, you look like shit. What can I do for you?”
56: “I don’t believe in love at first sight, but if you’re willing to walk by again I think I can make an exception.”
57: “I loved you.” “You did what?”
58: “Listen.” “What am I listening for?” “Nothing, I just wanted you to shut up.”
59: “We need the cavalry.” “I am the cavalry.” “Fuck you mean you’re the cavalry?” “I’m all that’s left.”
60: “Do you think you could ever love me again?“ “I never stopped loving you.“
61: “I need a favor.” “I already gave you a favor and you got my girlfriend shot.” “She’s alright.” “And? That doesn’t change anything.”
62: “You have this smile.” “What kind of smile?” “The type of smile that would be cruel not to kiss.”
63: “Sorry I’m not a heartless bitch like you.”
64: “I’m sorry I wasn’t the friend you deserved, but you were the friend I needed.” “You’re saying that like you’re never going to see me again.” “I’m not. I’m leaving.” “But you just came to make amends!” “No, I came to apologize.”
65: “If you think, for even a second, that I wouldn’t risk everything for her/him, then you’re wrong.”
66: “I love you.” “I love you, too.” “Do you?” “Hey, you know you’re mine.” “Yeah, but are you mine?”
67: “People are so quick to leave. It doesn’t matter if they're all you have.”
68: “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you while I was hurting.”
69: “It hurts so much, and you don’t understand how much it hurts. You don’t care because it’s not happening to you.”
70: “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t just sit here and wait for you to come back.” “I don’t want that either.” “Then stay!” “I can’t.” “Then leave. Leave and do not come back.”
71: “I love my boyfriend/girlfriend more than anything in the entire world and I would die for him/her, but I know that’d make him/her sad, so instead I’m gonna live for him/her.”
72: “What can I say? I’m irresistible.” “And yet, here I am, resisting you.”
73: “You don’t get into a relationship to mess around and cheat you get into a relationship to search for that one person you love more than yourself. And I know now that that’ll never be possible for you, because you’re incapable of loving anyone besides yourself.”
74: “Give it up and she lives.” “You’re an idiot if you think she can’t take care of herself.”
75: “Don’t tell me you're afraid.” “I was born afraid.”
76: “Go ahead. Do what I can’t do.”
77: “I don’t want to speak to you anymore.”
78: “This is everything!” “No, he/she is everything.” “You’re going to give all of this up for him/her?” “Yes.”
79: “”You wouldn’t understand. its a secret.” “I wouldn’t understand or it’s a secret?” “You wouldn’t understand (character), it’s a secret.”
80: “Thinking I had the heart to care for you was your first mistake, followed by countless others.“
81: “I can’t figure out what you are.” “Excuse me?” “Good influence or bad.”
82: “I’m scared of sex, but not because I think it’s going to hurt, but because I’m uncomfortable with my body and I’ve never been naked in front of anyone before.”
83: “Does he/she really think of her/him as just a friend?” “No, he/she’s in love with him/her, he/she just won’t admit it.”
84: “All I ever really wanted was for him/her to love me.”
85: “Nothing is going according to plan!” “That depends.” “On what?” “who’s plan you’re talking about.”
86: “You intrigue me.” “I’m not very interesting.” “Funny, uninteresting people don’t usually have to say that.”
87: “Why is he bleeding?” “Because he’s an idiot.” “I didn’t know idiocy cause people to start spontaneously bleeding from a gash in their (body part).”
88: “That is a terribly, horribly, incredibly stupid idea. Let’s do it and see what happens.”
89: “He/she’s an idiot, I’m an idiot. We’re co-presidents of the Club Idiot.” “Don’t you mean the Idiot Club?” “Exactly.”
90: “He/she’s crying. What do I do?“ “Go comfort him/her.” “How?“ “Start with hugs.“ “With what?“
91: “You know you’re in love with her, right?” “Since when?” “Since pretty much always. That’s why I’m breaking up with you.”
92: “Will you hit him over the head with a frying pan?” “I believe the technical term for that is ‘will you murder him’.” “Fine, then. Will you murder him for me?”
93: “I would like to join you in acknowledging the difficulties of your life.” “You’re the worst at this comforting thing.”
94: “You don’t strike me as a professional criminal.” “That’s what makes me so good at it.”
95: “Literally everything about that is illegal.”
96: “Why are you doing that?” “Doing what?” “Treating me like a person.” “Because you... are one...?”
97: “My mascara is too expensive to ruin by crying, but just know I am feeling a lot of things on the inside.”
98: “Did you bring us here to die?” “Obviously.” “I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not.”
99: “Are you clinically insane or incredibly annoying?” “I don’t know. Probably both.”
100: “That’s not funny.“ “I thought it was.“ “You don‘t count. You stared laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw.”
#dialog prompts#preferences#one shots#bill skarsgard#castle rock#it 2017#Deadpool 2#diary of a wimpy kid#hemlock grove#villains 2019#battle creek#atomic blonde
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Pick your favorite questions from the list.
i will do them all for u 0.o
1. Name cianna [see-ah-nah]
2. Nationality mexican irish german romanian hungarian french
3. Age 20
4. Birthday december 17, 1999
5. Zodiac sign (or your primal zodiac sign) sun: sagittarius; ascendant: leo; moon: aries
6. Gender female
7. Sexuality uhhhhhhhhhhhh idk but i will willingly kiss either gender
8. Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself) /tagged/my-face or u could just google pictures of fat rats
9. What do you/did you study? I’m currently a sophomore nursing major!
10. What's your current job like?/What job would you like to have? I’m currently a microbiology TA and I love it :) My dream job would be something with animals, like a vet tech or veterinarian
11. Your birth order i’m the oldest!
12. How many siblings do you have? 2 younger brothers
13. Do you have good relations with your family? my mom was my best friend, my dad and i get along better now that i’m in college, my brothers and i get along pretty well & we’re staring to get closer now that they’re getting older n growing up n developing their own personalities lol
14. How many friends do you have? errrr idk this is a hard question. i have a lot of acquaintances but i’d say i have maybe like less than 10 real friends??
15. Your relationship status single :D
16. What do you look for in a SO? funny!!!!!!!!!must be humorous!!!!and sarcastic and a little weird w darker sense of humor so we can laugh n be dumb together!!!!!!! also i would like them to be kind to me and those around them bc mean ppl suck. also they have to like animals. also i would like them to be loyal and trustworthy and 110% in love w me. and for physical stuff idk kinda attractive but NOT CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE like i personally don't really like the typically ‘attractive’ person???
17. Do you have a crush? currently in love w the cute chinese boy who lives across from my dorm room even tho i have never even spoken to him n he is totally unaware of my existence!!!!!!!! hahah oops :D
18. When did you have your first kiss? i mean technically 3rd grade i think but that doesn't really count so like maybe 16????
19. Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands? i mean in the long term i would definitely like to have a serious relationship but at the moment i’m only into casual stuff bc my heart isn't ready to be broken again sknfkjdbnkjd
20. What are your deal breakers? errrr i’m not sure....cheating is a no no, ppl that are interested in fucking every single person they see is a turn off, DUMB PEOPLE like ppl you can't even have a proper conversation with bc they're so DUMB, and ppl who r mean/judgmental/arrogant
21. How was your day? ok! accidentally slept thru my math class but caught a glimpse of my crush across campus when he was abt to smoke a cig and i got chipotle n i online shopped a ton from shein
22. Favourite food & drink deep dish spinach pizza from giordano’s & orange vitamin water
23. What position do you sleep in? i fall asleep on my left side hugging a body pillow
24. What was your last dream about? ate a braid of hair and inside the braid was bacon
25. Your fears not going to make it thru nursing school, not being financially stable as an adult, not having a family of my own, probably more but those r currently top 3
26. Your dreams i don't have any idk....maybe having like a house of my own and having as many animals as i want?? and i would like a loving partner with a daughter of our own
27. Your goals survive nursing school and lose 40 pounds and don't die before my cat
28. Any pets? i have a dog named cherry Cola, a cat named Leto, and a betta fish named Perc
29. What are your hobbies? writing stories about people in love, listening to music
30. Any cool places in your area? in my college town??? NO it sucks. in my hometown??? Not really it’s a small lil village with only restaurants and parks. but at home i’m near downtown chicago so that’s cool i guess
31. What was your last awkward situation? the first thing that comes to mind is my FIRST and so far ONLY encounter with my crush. we live in the same dorm building and i was wearing my nursing scrubs and had no make up on and about to go upstairs to my dorm, and then i heard footsteps and i was like ‘hahaha what if its my crush’ AND THEN HE FUCKIGJNG appeared from down the hallway to go back to HIS DORM [which is RIGHT ACROSS FROM MINE] and i literally STARED at him, then threw open the door and RAN UP THE STAIRS LIKE I LITERALLY DIDNT EVEN HOLD THE DOOR OPEN FOR ME AND HE WAS LIKE SO CLOSE BEHIND ME I WAS JUST SO NERVOUS MY FLIGHT OR FIGHT RESPONSE TOOK OVER AND I FUCKING FLED I LITERALLY RAN AWAY FROM HIM I AHTE MYSELF SO MUCH IM SUCH AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!!
32. What is your last regret? errrrr idk i regret a lot of dumb things.......
33. Language/s you can speak English n a LITTLE bit of Spanish
34. Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.) i’m really into zodiac stuff and i have got to say they are pretty spot on in accuracy idk
35. Have any quirks? ummmm ofc!!i am the quirkiest person i know hajnjfxbkjx like if u asked my roommates/friends they’d probably be better at answering this than me bc i don't see anything abt me as quirky but they always tell me i am quirky and do weird things but idk man I'm just existing
36. Your pet peeves err idk currently its ppl that constantly brag about dumb shit
37. Ideal vacation somewhere warm with me + the ocean + the loml + unlimited alcohol
38. Any scars? yeah :D both emotional AND physical!!!!
39. What does your last text message say? ‘ok thats a more than fair statement’
40. Last 5 things from your search history how many carbs should i eat, chipotle bowl calories, is the grim reaper the angel of death, ceftriaxone adverse effects, red man syndrome
41. What's your [device] background? lockscreen is a peach-theme background i made and home screen is my weight loss goals
42. What do you daydream about? the characters in my stories.................and being skinny
43. Describe your dream home pretty brick house??? flowers outside??? 3 floors--main floor, basement and upstairs??? 3 bedrooms n 3 bathrooms maybe??? master bedroom has its own bathroom!!! and open concept main floor. big kitchen and very homey n warm all around. as for like an apartment i want something cozy and aesthetically pleasing and warm
44. What's your religion/Your thought about religion i don't have a religion but if ppl do have a religion then thats not my business
45. Your personality type entj but only bc i got 3% extraverted; i am very closely related to intj tho n i think i fit that one better
46. The most dangerous thing you've done uhhhhhh probably operating a vehicle while high out of my mind. definitely the dumbest thing i ever did 0/10 would recommend anyone ever doing that
47. Are you happy with your current life? its ok but it could probably be better. i want to be done w college and skip to the part where i have a successful career and my own home and i can lay up w the loml every night
48. Some things you've tried in your life alcohol???weed??gummy edibles....
49. What does your wardrobe consist of? sweaters/sweatshirts/leggings
50. Favourite colour to wear? black, maroon, peach, purple, gray, idk
51. How would you describe your style? oh jeez idk i wear whatever i want so like e-girl when i really try and basic white girl when i don't care
52. Are you happy with your current looks? no i hate everything about myself lol
53. If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be? more freckles on my face....also be thinner n have longer hair
54. Any tattoos or piercings? my nose and septum are pierced!
55. Do you get complimented often? kinda by my friends but i always yell at them to stop so they don't compliment like as much bc they know i hate it but they still do it sometimes idk
56. Favourite aesthetic? i wanna be an e-girl yo!!!!!!!!!
57. A popular trend that you dislike nobody has a crush on me and i hate it
58. Songs you're currently obsessed with? pied piper by BTS
59. Song you normally wouldn't admit you like. anything by BTS lol i used to like be embarrassed for how much i like k pop but now i don't really care lol #stanBTS2020
60. Favourite genre? rap/r n b/alternative
61. Favourite artist/band/genre? i listen to every genre except country sooooooo yeah i really like billie eilish, BTS, the weeknd, juicewrld, lil nas x, trippie red, post malone,
62. Hated popular songs/artists? i don't rlly like selena gomez or justin bieber or taylor swift
63. Put your music on shuffle and list first 5 only - RY X i.f.l.y. - Bazzi novacane - frank ocean jungle - drake bang! - trippie redd
64. Can you sing or play any instruments? no and no
65. Do you like karaoke? no but i like to sing along to songs when I'm alone
66. Own any albums? haha noooo i got apple music son
67. Do you listen to radio? What stations? errr RARELY i used to listen to r n b stations tho
68. Favourite movie/series? idk donnie darko?? i also just finished tharntype n that was really good. also i liked tokyo ghoul. AND GIVEN IS REALLY GOOD
69. Favourite genre of movies/books/etc i like horror/scary/paranormal/funny movies and i like love stories in books
70. Your fictional crush/es danny phantom, ken kaneki
71. Which fictional character is you? uhhhh idk...
72. Are you a shipper? List your otps, if so frerard, ryden, taekook, mewgulf
73. Favourite greek god? idk they all kinda suck but maybe hades
74. A legend from where you live that you like i don't really know any:(
75. Do you like art? What's your favourite work or artist? i like to look at art! i think van gogh is cool
76. Can you share your other social media? ig: ciannnna venmo: ciannnna
77. Favourite youtubers? i don't really watch youtubers but maybe shane dawson and emma chamberlain
78. Favourite platform? twitter
79. How much time do you spend on the internet? too much time
80. What video games have you played? Which one's your favourite? i once played GTA5 that was fun!
81. Your favourite books (manga also counts) idk i don't really read anymore:/ i was into the hunger games and the twilight series when i was young. now i kinda read online manga and i really liked BJ Alex and killing stalking. and like for online books the unholyverse series, a splitting of the mind, the anatomy of a fall
82. Do you play board/card games? no but i like to play checkers and uno and cards against humanity
83. Have you ever been to a night marathon in cinema? nopee
84. Favourite holiday halloween is cool also christmas is alright bc gifts
85. Are you into dramas? i’ve been getting into thai boys love dramas lol sue me
86. Would you use death note, if you had one? um YES.
87. What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to? everyone needs to be a little kinder and have a crush on me
88. Could you survive a zombie apocalypse? absolutely not I'm not physically fit and don't have useful skills
89. If you had to be turned into a paranormal being, what would it be? vampire duh [or maybe ghost]
90. What would you want to happen to you after your death? i want to see my mom
91. If you had to change your name, what would be your pick? idk something cool ... i love the name Daisy
92. Who would you switch your life with for a week? idk probably kylie jenner
93. Pick an emoji to be your tattoo idk the alien? 94. Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true -im very productive with my time management skills -my favorite color is purple -i don't get nervous when I'm alone in public
95. Cold or hot? cold
96. Be a hero or be a villain? anti-hero
97. Sing everything you want to say or rhyme? sing if i’m good at it but if I'm not good then rhyme
98. Shapeshifting or controlling time? shapeshifting
99. Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?immortal
100. ..... or .....? ......?
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The Near-Death-Experience Theory (KH Unchained)
Oh boy...Don’t I have something fun here... (Also a TLDR at the bottom)
With the translation to the Union X novel finally released, in-depth secrets come to light, of course, with a little bit of digging as well.
In my case, one thing seems to puzzle me more than ever...the Player's connection with Nightmare Chirithy; something that eluded most of the fanbase since Unchained and Union X was released. Of course, the Chirithy the Player has acts more like a parental figure than a close friend (now implied with Elrena and Blaine’s Chirithies), but maybe there's a reason for that...What if something happened to the Player and he had to have his Chirithy replaced?
As the title says above, what if the Player suffered a near-death experience just before Unchained and his Chirithy "disconnected" from his wielder to later become a Nightmare? And what if said Nightmare becomes the focal point of the War? (To avoid running on old steam, I'll call the Player Hero (personal headcanon name) and the Nightmare Chirithy OG Chirithy. I'll mostly go off the novel for the fine details and list the pages, so have fun following along if you have the novel too! [I’ll add some screenshots of the pages or just explain the major details, don’t blame me if it’s a bit sloppy or all over-the-place..It’s more than recommended to read from start-to-finish, just in case.😉])
Comment or reblog if you’re interested!
First, I'm going off some unusual traits Hero possesses that might describe some past "incident" and the repercussions that follow.
How Hero obtained the Keyblade (Page 15) The one thing that contrasts between the novel and the game is the introduction. Of course, it means the Keyblade hero of Light goes through some weird dream sequence at the Station of Awakening and gets their Keyblade, right? Well, not for Hero's case. The mobile includes that feature (albeit the lack of self-portrait glass mural) while the novel doesn't even bother to describe the scene at all. Why, you ask? Well, most people ignore this key detail...
Out of every dive in the heart in the series, they usually wake up from that sleep (either on the beach for Sora or in Twilight Town for Roxas), but Hero starts off fresh out of Dive-time at the Fountain Square. (Little tidbit and KH3 spoiler, the Station of Awakening is akin to the veil between life and death. The more you know...) In my opinion, I would suppose that the Foretellers would pick their wielders, or the wielders pick their Master, vice versa; just a normal application or suggestion to get the ball rolling...
Hero's sense of navigation (page 22) Little sidenote honestly. But how does a kid who was born and raised in Daybreak have no idea how to get to the Waterfront Park?
Screw that, he should know the place like the back of his hand!
The Neo Shadow Trio (Pages 31-33) Now, this trio caught me a bit by surprise. Of course, even if they didn't survive the Neo Shadow attack, the last member managed to hold them off for a couple of days until their final breath. That's a bummer, I know, but it's strange how Hero never considered working with a team beforehand. But the question still remains...
Here's a simple answer for you; kids die!
The Power Bangle (Pages 33-34) Isn't it just a coincidence that when Hero wants to get stronger, especially when he wants friends that actually stay with him, a Chirithy comes around with all the answers he needs? Even if the promise is enticing, he hesitates.
"Wasn't guilt that awful feeling you got when you did something wrong?" In my opinion, Hero's definition of Guilt is somewhat confusing. While the Neo Shadow Trio "left him", Hero felt guilty about not being strong enough to protect others. In a strange sort of way, those are the two things he feels guilty about, and the two things that all Keyblade wielders have to follow. Having friends to give them strength, and power to protect themselves. Hero, for that brief moment of loss and confusion, was guilty about not following either of those pieces of advice.
Finally, Hero's little speech before throwing himself into the jaws of possible death (Pages 84-85) While it was pretty inspirational and moving, even if this reaction was spurred on by Ava, he had a lot more of a burden to get off his chest after Ephemer's "death". He explains how, no matter how hard he worked for Anguis, it felt incredibly unfair to have that all taken away from him. What caught me off guard was his realization of the Darklings and how he was ready to throw his life away to "avenge" Em.
I had to fight who I considered my friends? Did Hero know that the Darklings were the Neo Shadow Trio?
Of course, for such a young and ambitious wielder, none of the Foretellers take the time to describe what Darkness should be. Even with his sense of heroics, no one would have the balls to go against a Foreteller, especially not the one they follow. Also, don’t just be a child soldier, be a child soldier with feelings!
Alright then...even if this seems like a stretch, but it feels like Hero holds some kind of untold trauma in his heart, but just doesn't understand (or remembers) why. He's way too quiet than other people, doesn't think a lot about others (or getting help from other wielders), and even if he got friends, he can get pretty defensive if something happened to them or blames himself for something out of his control. It's a bit interesting, right?
Well don't worry, it gets far more interesting with the OG Chirithy, believe me!
OG Chirithy reflects Hero’s original personality before the accident (Pages 33-34, 79-80) As mentioned earlier with Elrena and Blaine, I believe that, if given enough time and partnership, they can reflect their wielder's more intimate and personal interests and personality. (ie, Elrena's Chirithy is caring and considerate of others, as opposed to Elrena being spunky and more of a lone-wolf kind of girl. Blaine's Chirithy is sassy and demanding, something Blaine puts aside for a cool and charismatic mannerism.)
With that little fact in mind, we can put together Hero's "original" personality based on OG/Nightmare Chirithy's appearances.
First, when Hero is given the Power Bangle. The first thing OG Chirithy does is congratulate Hero for all the hard work and how much he grew since day one (something the other Chirithy tones down to a teacher-student kind of exchange), and Hero was just thinking about getting stronger; offers him the Power Bangle. The entire conversation seems relaxed and straightforward; with the Bangle, Hero can collect Lux and Guilt for his Union and himself respectively. It's also worth noticing that "The sparkling Power Bangle fit so comfortably that it was hard to believe you'd only just put it on. You were so pleased you couldn't help but show it off." (pg 33). It's really surprising to consider how that Chirithy knew Hero's wrist size, even for a simple accessory. It's tempting to say the least...or he just knows his measurements, something like that.
Second, after the battle with the Darklings. Despite the surprising revelation with the Darklings' origin, OG Chirithy was surprisingly calm about the whole situation. "I thought if I took away everyone's Lux, there'd be no reason to fight anymore." Of course, this was all because of Hero learning about the coming end-times and wielders starting to fight over Lux from Skuld, so it's strange to consider why taking wielder's Lux would solve the problem. In my opinion, this means something more: for everyone to be equal. Lux means fighting stronger Heartless, and the more Lux a wielder has makes them arrogant and prideful. By equalizing wielders' Lux income, that would mean them working together as a group, producing more Lux as a whole than a single overpowered tank could. Surprisingly enough, that's also the one thing that Hero desires; friends he can relate to and fight alongside with. Even if the manner of achieving this dream seems drastic, it's something Hero's current Chirithy wouldn't understand. All in all, OG Chirithy seems to be calm and in-control of everything around him, wants to be strong so he has friends that care about him, and he’s more than happy to make sure his wielder is happy too...albiet in some pretty unusual ways.
Now, even with the existence of a Nightmare Chirithy, everything about it seems to break a recognized loophole in Unchained. When a wielder dies or falls into Darkness, their Chirithy disappears alongside them. And even if a wielder falls into Darkness (ie turning into a Darkling), they're unable to wield a Keyblade or use Medals in their state. Well, here's where everything gets blown out of the water!
How in the world does the OG Chirithy know about Spirits and Nightmares, while Hero's Chirithy doesn't? Even if the novel is in the point of view of Hero's new Chirithy, there seem to be some key points that Chirithy 2 doesn't mention (the story with Backcover and the Foretellers, and even the Master of Masters himself), but here's where it gets interesting. The only Chirithy that knows about Nightmares is the very first Chirithy MoM created. What I'm trying to say is this...If Chirithies are so interconnected with their wielders they're all "If I die, I die with you", what if the first Chirithy was a prototype Spirit?
While that warning with a wielder falling into Darkness and creating a Nightmare seems threatening enough, not a lot of wielders have enough strength to even control that Darkness, nonetheless use it with their humanity intact. A Chirithy becoming a Nightmare, at most, would be an extremely rare case; that would mean the wielder getting overcome by Darkness and surviving on their own, and I'm pretty sure a bunch of teenagers wouldn't live up to that if they even tried.
So why, pray tell, does this mean with Hero? Some interesting connections, actually. In pages 65 and 87, Ava seems to know that Hero can easily be overwhelmed with his emotions (more so in the heart), but Hero seems pretty resilient to the Darkness as a whole. If an ordinary wielder knew that their friend was offed by a Foreteller, they would've been acting a lot more brash and destructive than that; but Hero doesn't, he just acted far too calm about it all.
The day before Hero meets Ephemer, Chirithy meets OG Chirithy, though a bit darker in shade (pg 38). At that time, Chirithy remembers the Foretellers "Who's the traitor?" scene in Backcover (pg 52). Isn't it a bit of a coincidence that just as Hero finally gets a new friend, the Nightmare starts to make a move?
Even if the Foretellers knew about the Nightmare, they only looked upon themselves as this "traitor". After all, isn't it easier to put the blame on those closest to you than a random stranger? And even if the Foretellers knew about the Nightmare's wielder, would you really think that they had to put down some random kid who just so happens to possess the root of all evil? Hero doesn't look or act corrupted at all, so he practically stays under the radar the entire time as the Foretellers eventually tear each other apart; focusing more on the "traitor" than getting rid of the obvious threat.
I know I'm rambling way too much at this point, but one thing also seemed to elude me...
Was this all part of the Master's plan?
To give a random wielder a prototype Chirithy and hope for the best? Well, if the Master didn't know what would happen, the War never would have occurred. If the Master predicted that, with the simple act of giving the first Chirithy to Hero, would eventually lead to him almost losing his heart to Darkness (or Heartless, idk), and eventually creating the Nightmare he warned about? And before the Foretellers could realize what happened, MoM just kept cranking out more and more Spirits to cover up the tracks; eventually leading to an army of identical Scottish Folds and absolutely way too many kids to count.
And if, after that horrifying accident, Hero suppressed his memories of the event; and in a sudden jump of adrenaline, somehow managed to reclaim his Keyblade? (I know it seems a bit dumb to mention this now, but try to relate this to the aftermath of Sora's almost-norting from DDD. Almost losing his heart to Darkness could put a lot of strain on it; and as a result, his Keyblade suffers a "soft reboot" of sorts. After all, a Keyblade is a reflection of their heart, right? If it gets hurt, the Keyblade reflects it, no matter how stupid that plothole might have been.)
The Master of Masters said about the traitor that would start the War, all that kind of stuff in the Lost Page, but the Page never described who or what the traitor would be. Just pick out someone evil who has a way of spreading Darkness and that's that...But that's the problem here. Only the Nightmare is spreading Darkness, not the wielder; even without the person's knowledge. Hero’s connection to Nightmare Chirithy is like a walking paradox; while the wielder collects Lux and works like every other Keyblade wielder, his Chirithy works behind the scenes in ultimately causing tension and violence across for the Unions and Foretellers. Despite the whole world practically revolving around you, maybe now you realize why...You the Player, in some crazy convoluted future-vision crap, was the traitor the whole time!
TL;DR The Master of Masters gave Hero the very first Chirithy, but Hero almost died from Heartless/Darkness, causing him to lose his memory from the trauma (that PTSD jazz) and resetting his Keyblade's abilities. Meanwhile, with Chirithy's bond weakening from the attack, obtains the bangles, taps into the wielders' Guilt, and spreads Darkness all throughout Daybreak Town; eventually becoming the traitor and the main cataclyst of the Keyblade War.
#kh#kh unchained#kh union x#Kh uion x spoilers#player character#Chirithy#Nightmare Chirithy#kh novel spoilers#Foretellers#Master of Masters#theory
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846.
1. have you ever worn bright red lipstick? >> I don’t think so. Pretty sure I wouldn’t be fond of how it looked on me.
2. do you smoke the ganj? >> I don’t. I’m in the “weed makes me incredibly paranoid and anxious, and enough of it will phase me completely out of consensus reality” camp, unfortunately.
3. do you eat a lot? >> Nah. Like, sometimes I feel like I do, but then I remember that compared to the typical American portion sizes, I eat like a bird. So I guess I eat the normal amount (since American portion sizes are in no way normal, lmao).
4. do you care much about your health? >> I care enough, I guess. I try to do more good (or neutral) for myself than ill, when I can. It balances out the fact that my badbrains are probably shaving years off my life with every passing week, lmao.
5. do you know who sid and nancy are? >> The uh... Sex Pistols guy or whatever, and his lady, right?
6. do you know who bonnie and clyde are? >> More or less.
7. who do you like better? >> I don’t care about either couple’s stories, as I’m sure is obvious from my vague answers.
8. do you listen to the misfits? >> I do! Love ‘em.
9. do you like punk music? if not, you should. >> I like some of it. Not the hardcore, really fast shouty song that’s over in a minute kind of punk music, though. Horror-punk like Misfits is probably my fave, and pop-punk like Green Day is good, and whatever it is the Distillers have got goin on is good too.
10. are you christian? >> Nope.
11. if so, have you ever read the entire bible? >> I’m not Christian but I have read at least 80% of the Bible. I mostly skipped the “here’s a list of like 200 laws” and “here’s an entire genealogy” bits.
12. are you a sucker for big, blue eyes? >> No.
13. are you generally attracted to more outgoing and loud people or quiet and mysterious people? >> Well, quiet and mysterious people I relate to, and outgoing and loud people provide a balance for my own self, so I like both for different reasons. I just spend less time around the outgoing people because 1) I don’t provide enough energy exchange for them so they get bored of me and 2) it’s not often that I have enough social energy to spare for them in the first place.
14. do you listen to that hardcore shit? >> Like, hardcore, the genre? No.
15. have you gotten a new computer since 2006? >> Of course. I got a new computer just this year.
16. have you ever cried because you couldn’t be with someone? >> I don’t know. No time in recent memory, that’s for sure.
17. do you plan on going to college? >> No.
18. could you ever see yourself going to those college parties, getting drunk, fucking some random person and getting an std? For fuck’s sake…I don’t think anyone sees themselves getting an std. <-- lmao for real...
19. do you even drink? >> I do.
20. what do you like most about the opposite sex? >> ---
21. don’t you hate it when things are amazing in other people’s lives and you’re stuck in a hole alone? >> I hate it when it feels like this, yes. It’s a fallacious train of thought, because what we see of others’ lives is usually just what they’re willing to show us, and people don’t really tend to share the awful bits of their lives. So of course other people’s lives look amazing when all you see is the amazing stuff. Also, depression makes everything in my life feel worse than it actually is, so... extra fallacy.
22. do you have problems with one - or both - of your parents? >> I have problems with all of my parents.
23. do you like cheez-its? >> No.
24. do you sleep a lot? >> No.
25. do you like drinking water? >> I don’t always like it, but I do drink it more than anything else. Most of my variation in beverages comes from either kombucha or sparkling water (so, also still water).
26. what is your view on the war going on right now? >> Well, before I answer... what year was this survey made...
27. do you like george w. bush? >> Ah, there’s the time frame.
28. who do you want to win the 2008 election in november; hillary clinton or barrack obama? >> And here we are in the 2020 election season, and all I can hope for is that somehow Trump gets voted out. I’m sick of his ass.
29. who do you think will win? >> At this point, I can’t even bother to speculate. I didn’t think Trump would win the first time, and yet here we are...
30. have you ever been to a funeral? >> Yeah.
31. can you play drums? >> No.
32. can you play guitar? >> Nope.
33. what’s your passion in life? >> I don’t have one of those.
34. do you like writing? >> I do.
35. are you doing/did you do good in school? >> ---
36. do you think moths are bad luck? >> I’ve never heard that one. I love moths :(
37. or do you not believe in supersitious stuff? >> I’m just not interested.
38. are you in love with anyone? >> No.
39. if you’re in love, do you wish you weren’t? if you’re not in love, do you wish you were? >> I’m not interested in being in love.
40. if you’re in love, do you care about what anyone has to say about them, if it’s only bad news? >> ---
41. when you date, do you care about what your best friend[s] or good friends think about them? >> ---
42. will you date someone that’s not your race? >> I’m married to someone that is not my ethnicity.
43. i hope you aren’t racist… are you? >> As if I or anyone would answer this with “fuck yeah, I’m racist, what are you gonna do about it?” Like. Get real.
44. have you ever made yourself throw up? >> Yeah.
45. have you ever purposely starved yourself? >> No.
46. do you think you exercise enough? >> I would never think I exercised enough. I would always assume that I’m not doing enough. Rationally, I guess the fact that I try to take brisk walks at least 3 times a week and do short reps of various exercises throughout the day is a lot better than doing nothing at all.
47. have you ever pierced something on your body, yourself? >> Yeah, I’ve done my ears a few times. All those holes are closed up now, though.
48. have you ever listened to the band lars frederiksen and the bastards? >> No.
49. if so, what do you think of them? >> ---
50. what do you often do on saturday nights, if you’re not out somewhere and/or with friends? >> I’m usually not out somewhere on Saturday night. I’m usually at home doing whatever.
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This took SO LONG thanks @natthisback
1: Name Madison
2: Age 21
3: 3 fears spiders, not becoming a doctor, becoming like my parents
4: 3 things i love marvel movies, my blanket (whoops), and scrunchies
5: 4 turn ons compliment me, be chivalrous, (idk if this means sex turn on too or not but) moaning my n- ANYWHO uh and the last one definitely like showing you want me
6: 4 turn offs someone who only talks about themselves, being like wishy washy, being arrogant/cocky, complaining about the same things
7: my best friend that would be shea @cloversofshea
8: sexual orientation lesbian
9: my best first date okay SO this like isn’t a first date but it was my first like nicer dinner date so I’m gonna count it. It was just this past weekend actually and i just i loved it so much it was amazing
10: how tall am i 5’2
11: what do i miss honestly, feeling like i was good at things
12: what time were i born 11:14am
13: favorite color purple, although it’s slowly been turning to like a baby light pink
14: do i have a crush yes yes i do and i likes her a lot
15: favorite quote “Truth is a matter of circumstance. It’s not all things to all people all the time. And neither am I.”
16: favorite place Chicago or New York City
17: favorite food SALMON
18: do i use sarcasm yes, but i feel like i don’t use it as much as i used to
19: what am i listening to right now Christmas pop playlist on Spotify
20: first thing i notice in new person whether they only talk about themselves
21: shoe size 8 or 8.5
22: eye color blue
23: hair color right now, it’s a brown that goes to blond at my ends
24: favorite style of clothing so if this means like fav style to wear daily, definitely athleisure. If it means in general, i love love love preppy looks? But not super preppy.
25: ever done a prank call? Absolutely, many times
27: meaning behind my url i explain this in my about me page (linked in bio!)
28: favorite movie captain America winter soldier
29: favorite song i don’t really have favorite songs but rn it’s prob December night by Michael buble
30: favorite band i don’t really have fav bands
31: how i feel right now it’s really hot in here, so warm. I feel okay
32: someone i love i love lots of people but ill stick with @cloversofshea
33: my current relationship status I’ve answered this so many times literally just look at the ask game tag
34: my relationship with my parents um yikes
35: favorite holiday Halloween
36: tattoos and piercing i have i have 6 tattoos! “Breathe” on my right inner ankle, a heart on left shoulder, heart w equal sign in it behind right ear, basically an ecg on my left inner ankle, Aquarius symbol on right bicep, and caws 5749 on my left side. And my ears are pierced.
37: tattoos and piercing i want definitely the black widow symbol in the same place Scarlett got her og6 tattoo, an amino acid tattoo that spells out “wah” , definitely more little tattoos! And maybe more ear piercings idk
38: the reason i joined tumblr so, I’ve had a tumblr for many many years. I originally joined bc my best friends at the time had them, and i was like sure! Ive deleted that personal blog since, and started my new personal blog a few years ago. I also have a studyblr that i started i think back in high school, and i just started this blog back in the end of July!
39: do i and my last ex hate each other no, I’d say far from it bc i likes her a lot
40: do i ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts yes from her and i fucking love it, it used to be a bigger thing almost every day and i loved it
41: have i ever kissed the last person i texted lmao no and for those who were wondering it is @cloversofshea
42: when did i last hold hands LMAO WITH @michelinaamour WHEN I WAS STUMBLING HOME DRUNK IN HIGH HEELS
43: how long does it take me to get ready in the morning it depends, anywhere from ten minutes to an hour and a half
44: have you shaved your legs in the past three days no! I am super lucky and have really light colored hairs on my legs and so i dont’ have to shave very often. Also i just want to say that i personally love shaving my legs and it is my choice to do so.. girls, you do not need to shave!!
45: where am i right now so i started answering this in the research lab, but i am currently sitting at one of the dining places on campus finishing it
46: if i were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me LMAO DEFINITELY @michelinaamour because she’s done it ALREADY FOR ME MULTIPLE TIMES
47: do i like my music loud or at a reasonable level it depends, in car trips, definitely blast it. But just driving around or listening in doors, definitely reasonable level
48: do i live with my mom and dad nope i live with @michelinaamour
49: am i excited for anything yes, I’m excited for lots of things. I get excited easily
50: do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to no. I used to
51: how often do i wear a fake smile this is a really interesting question. I don’t consider smiles i give to random people like ordering food or something to be fake, so i would say fake smiles are when I’m not okay and trying to hide it. Which happens less often now bc I’m just much happier of a person
52: when was the last time i hugged someone I think it was @michelinaamour two days ago but i think i hugged @cloversofshea that day too so
53: what if the last person i kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me I’d be heartbroken tbh
54: is there anyone i trust even though i should not yes, certain adults in my life
55: what is something i disliked about today my hair won’t do what i want it to :(
56: if i could meet anyone on this earth who would it be probably Chris Evans or Scarlett Johansson
57: what do i think about the most tumblr and everything with that, or probably her or school stuff definitely
58: what’s my strangest talent i don’t think i have any lol
59: do i have any strange phobias yes definitely haha, I’m terrified of stepping on worms
60: do i prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it i think a few years ago i would have said behind, but honestly I think I’d love to be in front of the camera now
61: what was the last lie i told i actually don’t know. Maybe this past weekend as to like the fact that i was going out on a date instead of just going out with a friend
62: do i prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online I’d say talking on the phone bc then they cant’ see me lmao
63: do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and yes
64: do i believe in magic? Yes, or at least, that’s what i tell myself
65: do i believe in luck yes
66: what’s the weather like right now snowy!
67: what was the last book I’ve ever read The Butchering Art, it’s about the history of surgery
68: do i like the smell of gasoline omg yes yes yes yes yes yes
69: do i have any nicknames yes, madz, madi, girl who lives by the kitchen, queen (a new one) and clown (also a new one) thanks @natthisback
70: what was the worst injury I’ve ever had back in freshman year of college, i did something stupid and my foot swelled up like hell and hurt so bad. There were no fractures detected but the swelling stayed for a really long time, as well as the bruising and pain, and it never returned to normal
71: do i spent my money or save it SPEND IT BABY
72: can i touch my nose w my tongue no I’m not that talented
73: is there anything pink in 10 ft from me. Hmm part of my backpack? And my rings are pinkish bc they are rose gold. Oh and my scrunchie is pink, as well as my iPad
74: favorite animal cat
75: what was i doing last night at 12am i was still at work In the emergency room!
76: what do i think satan’s last name is uh honestly Jim lmao (it’s demons Jim! @cloversofshea )
77: what’s a song that always makes me happy when i hear it so good by dove Cameron
78: how can you win my heart suggest we watch a marvel movie, and I’m prob straight up in love. There are other things too but they’re pretty general, like compliment me, show you want me ya know
79: what would i want to be written on my tombstone haha, as a joke, “so realy its very thing. Just to keep everyone guessing.” But idk something funny
80: what is my favorite word i have no idea, maybe like sophisticated or something like that or aesthetic , champagne is a good one too
81: my top 5 blogs on tumblr ooh! Okay so @markiplier @lesbian-deadpool @americasass-romanoff @lesbianmariahilll @shining-rey-of-sunshine but i love so so so so so many more, and i have a lot of top blogs
82: if the whole world were listening to me right now what would i say fuck trump also I’m gay as hell and I’m growing tired of hiding it from people
83: do i have any relatives in jail not that i know of
84: i accidentally eat some radioactive vegatables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super power of my choice! What is that power lmao this question is great. Prob same powers as Wanda
85: what would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on any weird fetis- JUST KIDDING. Do you still think about them?
86: what is my current desktop picture so on my laptop, it’s fall flowers. But since that’s broken af, i use my iPad and that background is one of the apple ones. It’s just a beach idk why but I’ve never changed it
87: had sex WHY IS THIS IN EVERY SINGLE ASK GAME WTF
88: bought condoms nope i am gay as hell bye
89: gotten pregnant nope i am gay as hell bye
90: failed a class nope, definitely come close though
91: kissed a boy yes
92: kissed a girl yes
93: have i ever kissed somebody in th rain honestly, probably at some point, but I’ve never had one of those romantic kisses in the rain. I really really want to though and i think about it a lot
94: had job yeah, I’ve had three true jobs
95: left the house without my wallet probably
96: bullied someone on the internet no bc I’m not a fucking douche
97: had sex in public not yet
98: played on a sports team yeah, played softball and basketball in middle school
99: smoked weed yeah, but i didn’t get high
100: did drugs nope
101: smoked cigarettes nope, i think i asked drunk once if i could smoke, but my friend was like “really?” And i was like uhhhhhh just kidding haha
102: drank alcohol lmao i drink fucking all the time i mean. I literally have drunk writing nights , I’m drinking tonight too
103: am i a vegetarian/vegan i was a vegetarian for a while, and then an aspiring vegan, and then vegetarian, and then pescatarian now!
104: been overweight no
105: been underweight yes
106: been to a wedding yeah, but like not for a long time. I was like 4 and the flower girl. Oh WAIT. Does playing a wedding count? I played cello at a wedding so i was there???
107: been on the computer for 5 hours straight hell yeah, how would i function not doing this with class and relaxing
108: watched tv for 5 hours straight lmao definitely
109: been outside my home country yeah
110: gotten my heart broken yeah
111: been to a professional sports game yeah. I don’t really do sports though , so when i go it’s usually in suites and I’m just there for the food
112: broken a bone nope!
113: cut myself this is...a. Really deep question but bc i want to be able to speak about mental health on here, the answer is yes.
114: been to prom yes! I went to my junior and senior proms!
115: been in airplane too many times
116: fly by helicopter no, I’m not sure if i want to do this or not
117: what concerts have i been to I’ve been to lots. So first off, I’ve been to hundreds of classical concerts (and performed in them). As for pop, Bruno mars twice, maroon five like three times. Selena Gomez. Josh groban. American authors. Definitely others that i don’t remember
118: had a crush on someone of the same sex yes I’m fucking gay
119: learned another language so if this means fluent, no. I took a decent amount of French and am learning Russian right now!
120: wore make up absolutely. When i choose to wear makeup, its because i fuckign love makeup haha. Most days I’m lazy though and like to let my skin breathe and be natural
121: lost my virginity before I was 18 no
122: had oral sex yeah
123: dyed my hair many times
124: voted in a presidential election okay i think so but honestly can’t remember. But I’m pretty sure i did.
125: rode in an ambulance no and i never want to.
126: had a surgery no and i never want to haha. Well i cant say that. Depending on how my life plays out, I might freeze my eggs or something.
127: met someone famous yes, several I think, but probably Henry winkler was the one I remember most.
128: stalked someone on a social network yeah
129: peed outside nope don’t think so and definitely don’t want to
130: been fishing yes I have been ice fishing and regular fishing
131: helped w charity i have!
132: been rejected by a crush I’ve been not liked back but i don’t think I’ve ever made like a move on a crush and been rejected
133: broken a mirror ooh i don’t think i have actually
134: what do i want for birthday nothing bc i dont’ like my bday
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Transcript Episode 31: Pop culture in Cook Islands Māori - Interview with Ake Nicholas.
This is a transcript for Lingthusiasm Episode 31: Pop culture in Cook Islands Māori - Interview with Ake Nicholas. It’s been lightly edited for readability. Listen to the episode here or wherever you get your podcasts. Links to studies mentioned and further reading can be found on the Episode 31 show notes page.
[Music]
Gretchen: Welcome to Lingthusiasm, a podcast that’s enthusiastic about linguistics! I’m Gretchen McCulloch, and I’m here with Dr. Ake Nicholas, who is a lecturer in linguistics at Massey University of New Zealand in Auckland and a speaker of Cook Islands Māori. Hello! Welcome!
Ake: Hello!
Gretchen: Welcome to the show! I’m so pleased that we managed to make this line up with me being in Australia and you also visiting Australia. And so the Canadian and the New Zealander will be sitting in a room together talking about language and linguistics.
Ake: Very convenient.
Gretchen: So let’s start with the question that we ask all our guests on Lingthusiasm – how did you get into linguistics?
Ake: Well, if you go back enough into my early life, I’ve got a quite cute life story about that. So my family heritage is from the Cook Islands, which we’ll talk more about in a minute. And when I was a baby, my parents moved back there, and I lived there until I was about 6 years old, which was after I had started school. And so when we moved to New Zealand when I was about 6, I had a little bit of language-adjustment issues coming into an English-medium school, and cultural differences, and migration trauma, and all the rest of it. I got taken pity on by a teacher who wasn’t my teacher, but she was another teacher in the school who was New Zealand Māori. And she pulled me aside one day and said, “Oh, you know that your language is quite a lot like our language? Why don’t you sing me a song and we talk about it?” And so I sang a song for her and we went through the things that were the same and the things that were different. And she told me how it worked in New Zealand Māori, and it was – you know.
Gretchen: That’s so lovely.
Ake: At the age of 6, I was like “Something very exciting is happening here with these languages and these things.” And I was also extremely grateful to her for doing this nice, kind thing and making me feel good about it and not feel stink about wanting to use a different language. “Feel stink” – that’s quite a New Zealandism, isn’t it?
Gretchen: I guess so!
Ake: At that tender age, I became aware of this thing about relationships between languages, and the powerfulness that using a different language makes in your social world, and all that kind of stuff. I was very meta-aware of it from a young age. Also, my parents were really involved in the Kōhanga Reo movement in New Zealand, which is the reasonably well-known language revitalisation method of language immersion preschools.
Gretchen: Oh, is that the language nests?
Ake: Yeah. So that translates as “language nest,” which is what they’re called in other places now. Yeah. So that, as you may or may not know, got started in New Zealand with the Māori language revitalisation. My parents were part of that movement. Being aware about language and being aware about language revitalisation is something that was a very important narrative through my whole childhood.
Gretchen: Were you a kid in one of those language nests?
Ake: Oh, I was a little bit too old for it, but my younger siblings were, yeah.
Gretchen: Oh, that’s so great.
Ake: Yeah. I really think that Joshua Fishman wrote once – he’s a language revitalisation theorist whose work has been quite influential in the New Zealand context for language revitalisation. But he said that when he was a child, every day at the dinner table his father would ask the whole family, “So what have you done to support the Yiddish language today?” So I feel like that was a similar thing for me in my childhood that was a very overt thing that was very, very important – to be worrying about looking after our languages and doing whatever we could to do it.
Gretchen: Maybe just for people who haven’t heard of the language nests – how does that work?
Ake: It’s just like a normal preschool, or “early childhood education” as we call it – so kids, before they go to primary school, or “elementary school” as it’s called in other places – and that’s, in theory, entirely conducted, in our case, in Māori – all the talking, and all the teaching, and all the songs, and not just the language, but the cultural practices, and all of that kind of thing.
Gretchen: Yeah. The food, and going out on the land, and stuff like this.
Ake: Yeah. And all that kind of stuff. And also you don’t just go and leave your kids and never think about it, the parents and the whole family, the “whanau” as we call it, are expected to be involved in their educational experience. And that’s a useful thing for language revitalisation as well, because it’s not just the 3- year-olds who are in there learning language, but the parents who maybe don’t know and the grandparents who maybe do, which was the situation at the time then, worked together so that the whole family gets access to that learning, and it’s very effective when it’s resourced enough to be put in practice.
Gretchen: Yeah. Because you can see if you’ve only run this for a year, then you’ve got a bunch of 1-year-olds who can say two or three words, and you’ve gotta keep going so they can keep doing it for a number of years and become really fluent speakers because that’s how most people become fluent speakers, is being exposed to it from their parents, and their grandparents, and stuff like this. It’s creating a very natural environment, but doing it with a lot of deliberate planning to think about “Here’s how you can actually make an environment happen where you don’t just let English take over.”
Ake: Yes, exactly. And a context like in New Zealand where, like in most English-speaking places, most of the people are monolingual and only speak English, and English is very, very dominant in all spheres of life. And where we had a situation in New Zealand, in the New Zealand Māori context, where there was a time where the language didn’t get transmitted to the children. The people who were my parent’s generation, the ones we call the “Baby Boomers,” most of them didn’t learn Māori when they were children. In the early '80s when this Kōhanga Reo language nest thing was starting up, the parents didn’t speak, or could understand but didn’t speak – were “passively bilingual,” as we call that – but there were grandparents alive who still did. That process made use of those family members that were available to make it work. And the children learning that language in turn facilitate that parent generation learning the language, and that was the model that got deliberately made that way.
Gretchen: The parents can be kind of less intimidated to learn because they only have to learn at the pace of a child, which is maybe just a few words at a time. And they have all that tolerance for error at that point.
Ake: Exactly. Exactly. That happened in quite a grand scale in the early to mid-1980s in New Zealand, and it’s still going strong today. That method has spread to other parts of the world – Hawaii, for example. Another really successful place where they’ve instigated that is in Wales with the revitalisation of the Welsh language. They are doing great there with their language revitalisation, and that’s starting out doing the same the sort of system.
Gretchen: So you had language on your brain, on your mind, constantly from when you were a kid?
Ake: Yeah. Heavily indoctrinated from a young child – yeah.
Gretchen: And then what made you say, “Okay. So here’s this language revitalisation thing” – how did academic linguistics enter the picture?
Ake: When I was in my second year of university, some people said, “You should take that linguistics paper. It’s really easy.”
Gretchen: Was it really easy?
Ake: Um, sort of. But I went along and took this linguistics course and suddenly realised that there was a lot of really interesting, exciting things in that broad area that caught my attention, and so I carried on, which I think is a fairly common story, isn’t it?
Gretchen: I think it’s a pretty common story – yeah.
Ake: And, yeah. Quite early in the – the side of that was what I wanted to study. I learnt that my language, which is Cook Islands Māori, wasn’t properly described yet, linguistically. I knew that that was what I was eventually gonna have to do once I got enough training to know how to do it. There was sort of a bigger-than-me kind of social motivation.
Gretchen: Yeah. And to distinguish it from New Zealand Māori, which is different?
Ake: Yes. Yeah. So do you wanna talk about that now?
Gretchen: Yeah, I guess, let’s.
Ake: Okay. Mostly I’ve been talking about New Zealand Māori when I was talking about the language nests and all that kind of thing. That’s the famous language from New Zealand. It’s usually just called “Māori.” But it’s not actually the only indigenous language that is associated with the nation state of New Zealand. The nation state of the New Zealand is a different phenomenon to what people maybe think of when they think of New Zealand, which is the North Island and the South Island and the sort of main part of New Zealand.
Gretchen: But there’s some other islands?
Ake: Yes. There’s other parts of what is actually – so the legal entity of the nation state of New Zealand is something called the “Realm of New Zealand.” That includes New Zealand proper, which is the bit people are mostly thinking about with the North Island and the South Island just off the east coast of Australia – the “West Island” as we sometimes call it.
Gretchen: Wait, Australia is the “West Island”?
Ake: Yeah. It’s the West Island. So we’ve got the North Island and the South Island and the West Island – yeah.
Gretchen: I like this.
Ake: Yeah. But there’s actually other bits. There’s the Cook Islands, which has 15 islands in it and a few languages. There’s the island of Niue, which is in West Polynesia near Tonga and the Islands of Tokelau, which is up by Samoa. They all have people and languages which come from there. All of those languages, which is quite a few, are technically indigenous to this legal entity of the Realm of New Zealand, which is a different concept to “Aotearoa,” which is the Māori word for the Māori nation, which only has one language, which is Māori.
Gretchen: And that is what’s also known as “New Zealand Māori?”
Ake: Yeah. Also known as “New Zealand Māori.”
Gretchen: So Aotearoa has a language, which is spoken on the North Island and the South Island?
Ake: Yeah.
Gretchen: And then there are these other languages?
Ake: Yeah. Other different languages.
Gretchen: Other different languages – right. Okay.
Ake: Yeah. And they have a confusing thing – or our two in particular had the confusing thing of having the same name.
Gretchen: Yeah. So is that also the case in the language?
Ake: Yes. So in the language, if you were calling the language by its name, both groups would call their language “Māori” or “te reo māori.”
Gretchen: But there are differences when you actually look at the words?
Ake: But they are different languages. They’re not mutually intelligible. They’re 400 years apart in history and so on. But they happen to have the same name and come from the same place, and the people are culturally fairly similar and look the same as each other, and it’s a bit confusing.
Gretchen: At one point, they were probably the same language, and they split apart and stopped talking to each other as much?
Ake: Yeah. In the migration of Polynesia, the Southern Cook Islands is probably where most of the people who are the Māori people of New Zealand came from, and that part of the migration is the Southern Cook Islands and the Society Islands, or Southern French Polynesia. That’s the immediate jump-off point in that final migration to what’s now on New Zealand or Aotearoa. That happened about 800 years ago.
Gretchen: Which is plenty of time for languages to diverge from each other.
Ake: Absolutely – plenty of time. There hasn’t been ongoing contact between those two groups for about 400 years. So there’s about 400 years of definitely no contact between those two languages. But, indeed, that is plenty of time to become a different language.
Gretchen: Which even 400 years is plenty of time to be –
Ake: Plenty, plenty.
Gretchen: Yeah. 400 years ago is like Shakespeare. That’s quite different.
Ake: Yes. Exactly. Exactly. And here’s my example.
Gretchen: Yeah. And 800 years ago is like Chaucer or older than Chaucer, which is really very different.
Ake: It’s entirely a differently language – incomprehensible.
Gretchen: We can definitely link to some sort of map of this linguistic situation with the islands because I am definitely a stranger to this part of the world and cannot picture most of this.
Ake: A map is useful.
Gretchen: There’s a language map we could probably link to?
Ake: Yeah.
Gretchen: Okay. Make sure to check out the show notes afterwards. Good. So there’s these languages. And you at age 20 or so were like “Here’s my language, which has not been described very well. I wanna write some descriptions of it or make some stuff in it”?
Ake: Yeah. So, yes, eventually. I was a bit older than 20 but...
Gretchen: Young Ake was like “Here’s what we’re gonna do.”
Ake: Yeah. I learnt how to be a descriptive linguist. For my PhD, I did what’s known as a “description and documentation” of my language, which is southern Cook Islands Māori. The documentation side involves collecting lots of examples of language, whether that’s written stuff, or video, or audio – as many different kinds of it as you can – and then writing it all down and making it useable for the other side of it.
Gretchen: The translating it and transcribing it and annotating of what everything’s doing.
Ake: It’s an extremely laborious, time-consuming process. And then the description part, sometimes this is called “writing the grammar.” That’s where you describe how the language works, right, from how the sounds work, to how you make words, and how you make sentences, and even how you have conversations. Although, I didn’t get time to do much of that in my PhD because that’s the hard part.
Gretchen: Did you end up having to write a dictionary for it as well? Or were you like “No, I didn’t think to do that.”
Ake: We’re fortunate in that we already had some good dictionaries. A lotta people when they’re doing a documentation project on a previously undescribed language, that’s an important first thing that they need to do is they need to collect as many of the words and make a dictionary. But I was lucky that we actually had that resource already. That made it easier.
Gretchen: Yeah. For sure.
Ake: Yeah. It was also easier that I already spoke the language.
Gretchen: You didn’t have to do that, “Okay. So... does anybody here wanna talk to me?”
Ake: Yeah.
Gretchen: You didn’t have to do the, “I’m gonna sit with the speaker and record them and ask them ‘Can you say this word? Can you say this word?’” You’re just sitting with yourself and a recorder – or I guess friends and family at this point as well.
Ake: Yeah. More that one. I tried not to do too, too much recording of myself because my language is corrupted by too much exposure to New Zealand Māori.
Gretchen: Oh, okay.
Ake: I don’t have a good, authentic Cook Islands way of talking because I spent most of my childhood in the New Zealand Māori context, so I speak a funny mix of New Zealand Māori sounds and Cook Islands Māori sounds, and it’s all muddled up and funny so I – especially for sound-based things, for phonological stuff – I didn’t wanna use me because I was compromised.
Gretchen: You wanna make sure you’re accurately representing what everyone else is doing and not the individual situation in your own head, which I’m sure is very interesting but maybe less relevant to a broader group of people.
Ake: Yeah. It’s not so much the content of what I was saying, I’m talking about the...
Gretchen: Oh, the actual sounds that you’re saying.
Ake: Especially stress. Because there’re different systems, and I do it the New Zealand Māori way by intuition most of the time – yeah.
Gretchen: So you’re recording friends and family and doing this. Fast forward to today. You teach at a university about linguistics and Māori or some sort of combination of the two?
Ake: Yes. Yes, all of those things. I teach linguistics. So just the normal “How do languages work in a broad way?” and the little, different subsections of languages and how they work and, in particular, Pacific languages and the relationship between Pacific languages. And then also I’m involved in some language teaching for both of those languages – for Cook Islands Māori and New Zealand Māori.
Gretchen: You’re doing revitalisation-type projects? Or I guess is it kind of “revitalisation” at this point if you’ve had this successful program since the 1980s?
Ake: Well, two different contexts here, but in both cases, the answer’s still yes. In New Zealand, a lot of resources have gone into looking after the Māori language and to revitalising and building up and all of that kind of thing, but it’s still classified as endangered, and most of our kids are still not speaking, and most of our kids are still not in Māori-medium schools. Most people in New Zealand still don’t speak Māori. And as a general rule, most Māori people in New Zealand would quite like it if everybody in New Zealand spoke Māori all the time and that was the language that we all used, which is a bit of a difference between some of the contexts in North America about how things work but – yeah.
Gretchen: Yeah. Because there was this thing with your prime minister who was like, “I’m gonna send my kid to a Māori-speaking school,” and she’s not Māori, but she was making this political statement of like, “This is the type of thing that is a very popular thing to do.”
Ake: Yes. And that was received positively by almost everybody – that suggestion that she made. That doesn’t work like that in other parts of the world where other indigenous peoples’ languages, those people don’t necessarily think it’s appropriate for outsiders to use their language. Whereas, in the New Zealand context, partly because, essentially, contrasting to what I said earlier, there’s only one language to worry about as far as people think. That language is associated with that place. This is often the case with indigenous languages. And if you’re gonna be in that place –
Gretchen: You should speak that language.
Ake: – it would be best if you were operating in that language – yeah. That goal is still a little way off. But there’s a pretty positive attitude toward Māori in New Zealand at the moment.
Gretchen: And there’s a few phrases that have made their way into New Zealand English from Māori even if they’re not the whole language.
Ake: Yeah. Well, quite a lot, really. I heard someone say recently that the most unique thing about New Zealand English is the Māori words that are in it – and the KIT vowel, I suppose.
Gretchen: The vowels are also very interesting too. But the most obvious unique thing about it is that there are a bunch of words from Māori.
Ake: Other varieties of English have “this and that” vowel, but no other varieties of English have all these Māori words. And there’s a lot. It’s not just a few, it’s hundreds of words or phrases or expressions from, obviously, place names, and flora and fauna names, and names of animals and plants and things, but also lots of words for other parts of life – kinship words, cultural concept words, greetings – for example.
Gretchen: Yeah. I watched a New Zealand YouTuber once, and she was definitely not Māori, and she just started her channel with “kia ora, everybody. Blah blah blah.” And I was like “I have never heard this.” I had to go look it up. And it was like “Oh, it’s from Māori.”
Ake: Yeah. “kia ora,” which just means “hello,” I think probably you could categorise that as having been a long time ago actually become part of English. That’s an everyday greeting that almost anyone – there’s nobody in New Zealand who wouldn’t understand it.
Gretchen: This wasn’t a video about the language context or anything like that, she was just doing a video about her life, and this is what occurred to her to say.
Ake: I mean, that hasn’t always been in the case. It was actually – this is an iconic story about one of the things that triggered off activism for revitalising the Māori language. As recently as 1984...
Gretchen: Very recent.
Ake: Well, depends on how old you are, but on a human scale – very recent, a generation or so ago – an incident happened where a Māori woman got in trouble, and I think she’d even got threatened with getting fired, for answering the phone at her job at the post office by saying, “kia ora,” which is how we say “hello.” She got in trouble for it, and she, quite rightly, decided that that was an unacceptable thing to get in trouble for. That was the sort of starting off point for some of the more invigorated activism to promote the use of the Māori language in the public space in New Zealand, not just in the Māori context. But, yeah, in 1984, which is quite recent, it was like “Oh, you can’t say ‘kia ora’ on the phone.”
Gretchen: And now, everyone’s saying it, and no one’s thinking anything of it.
Ake: Yeah. I mean, it’s not absolutely considered to be wonderful. There is a little corner of the grumpy old men who are like “What are you talking that language on the radio for? I can’t even understand it. Blah blah blah.” But mostly, people just laugh at them.
Gretchen: Yeah. Yeah. It kind of reminds me of – I was in Hawaii a couple years ago, and everyone says, “aloha” and “mahalo” and things like that. That’s just part of how people talk. They don’t realise that people might not know, who aren’t from there, what “mahalo” means or something like this.
Ake: Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
Gretchen: Okay. So that was New Zealand Māori, which has got this quite established linguistic situation. Cook Islands Māori is different?
Ake: Yeah. In the Cook Islands context, I quite often say that we’re a generation behind the New Zealand context. Cook Islands is, as we mentioned before, not part of mainland New Zealand and, constitutionally, the Cook Islands’ arrangement with New Zealand is that they are internally self-governing in free-association with New Zealand. That means the Cook Islands has their own government that make the laws inside the Cook Islands, but anything dealing with the rest of the world, like the United Nations, or if we decide to invade the United States – or, I shouldn’t say that, military-related things, international affairs – is still operated by New Zealand. Everybody in the Cook Islands is a New Zealand citizen and has a New Zealand passport. It’s an interesting constitutional arrangement, which was copied by the Federated States of Micronesia in relation to the United States. They have the same constitutional arrangement with the United States, different from some of the other United States territories, but – yeah. And that applies to the Cook Islands, Niue, and Tokelau.
Gretchen: And each of those are individually self-governing?
Ake: Yeah. Niue is the same as us, more or less, the same as the Cook Islands. Tokelau is a little bit more New Zealand – not even separate at all.
Gretchen: Right. And so it’s a generation behind in the linguistic situation as well?
Ake: Yeah. Because, as is the case in most of the world, places that are in the tropics, even if they got momentarily colonised by European people, the European people didn’t stay there, which is a pattern that’s happened around the world.
Gretchen: Didn’t like the climate as much?
Ake: It’s a bit too hot for them – that’s right.
Gretchen: A bit too hot for me, I should say.
Ake: So, unlike in New Zealand, where the majority of the population – 70-something percent – still is “Pakeha,” which is our word for the New Zealand people of European decent, in the Cook Islands, it’s majority indigenous population and always has been. That protected that population from the language loss for longer until about the 1980s when one thing that happened was the airport got made big enough to take the big jumbo jets, which increased the number of English-speaking tourists who came and increased the ease of contact with the English-speaking world. And also another thing that happened was TV broadcasts started then, which is all in English. These things happened, which led to, what we call in sociolinguistics, a “shift” towards English and away from Māori, the community language. But that didn’t start happening until the mid-1980s. When I was a child in the early '80s going to school in the Cook Islands, all the kids spoke Māori to each other.
Gretchen: Right. Pretty much everything was just in Māori.
Ake: Māori was the normal language, the “lingua franca” as it gets called – the normal language that people use for everything. People knew English as well but would prefer to use Māori for most things.
Gretchen: And if you’d go to the post office, or the grocery store, or something, everything’s in Māori?
Ake: Yeah. And, importantly, at school the language of instruction is Māori. But around that time, in the mid-to-late '80s, that started shifting, including the language of instruction in schools. Now, the language of instruction in school is predominantly English in most places.
Gretchen: This language shift that had happened in New Zealand before the '80s, is now happening in the Cook Islands in the '80s and '90s?
Ake: Yeah. Now, we’re in the situation that – probably the situation in the Cook Islands now is probably the equivalent of the situation in New Zealand in the early '80s when people noticed there was a problem, and made the Kōhanga Reo, and all that kind of stuff.
Gretchen: So at this point, the parent generation currently doesn’t necessarily speak Māori, but the grandparents still do?
Ake: Yes, that’s right. Yeah, exactly. The grandparent generation – still speakers. The parents – some still do but mostly not. And the kids – definitely, mostly not, especially in Rarotonga, which is the most populous island in the Cook Islands, and in New Zealand proper, where most Cook Islands people live because, from what I said before, Cook Islanders are New Zealand citizens, so just with the general habits that have been happening with humans in the last hundred years or so urbanisation and so on, and moving to the big cities for work – most Cook Islands people, like two-thirds, live in New Zealand.
Gretchen: Oh, so a lot of people moved to New Zealand as well?
Ake: Yeah. That is a prohibitive factor for language maintenance.
Gretchen: Right. Of course.
Ake: Makes it harder to keep speaking your community language.
Gretchen: Yeah. There’s a question of, “Well, if you’re a Cook Islands Māori person, you’ve gotta send your kid to a New Zealand Māori school because they’re gonna learn wrong Māori for them.”
Ake: Well, yes. And that is a thing that happens because there’s almost no Cook Islands Māori equivalents that you can do in New Zealand. There’s a few little “Punanga Reo,” which is what we call the Kōhanga Reo. It’s the same concept. There’s fewer of them, but not heaps and heaps. There’s no Cook Islands language-medium schools in New Zealand. So, yeah. A lot of Cook Islands kids do actually go through the New Zealand Māori system because parents are taking the choice. They say, “Oh, well, we can’t have our one. We’ll have the next best thing.” That’s probably a good thing because that’s still getting some of those basic systems into those kids at a young age.
Gretchen: Yeah. It’s still a related language, so it will make it easier if they’re adults to try to learn the one that’s actually theirs. Or at least they’re closer in culture because they did have this common historical connection 800 years ago.
Ake: Exactly. Relations between those two groups are generally amicable – more than that, actually – friendly. We’re a close family.
Gretchen: So that’s the situation with Cook Islands Māori. It’s more complicated and there’s less stuff going on.
Ake: At the moment, Cook Islands Māori is more endangered than New Zealand Māori, which seems surprising because people think, “Oh, there they are in the Cook Islands. They’re okay. They don’t have the English problem with the English-speaking people forcing a shift to English that happened in New Zealand a hundred years ago.” But because this modern world and globalisation, the effect has eventually still happened. And now we’re in that crisis point where we’ve stopped our intergenerational transmission in most places. This is a dangerous thing because it doesn’t really matter how many speakers you’ve got, if your children aren’t learning –
Gretchen: In a hundred years, they’re not gonna be around – or 20 years, even, if their speakers are getting older.
Ake: Yeah. As soon as Nana dies, right? It can happen really fast – yeah.
Gretchen: I mean, it seems like, “Oh, we’ve got thousands of speakers,” but if they’re all over 60, then that’s a really unstable situation.
Ake: That’s right. Exactly. In the Cook Islands context, that’s where we are, which is a more perilous stage. And because we’re a smaller language, and we don’t have this status as being –
Gretchen: The prime minister’s not trying to learn your language.
Ake: That’s right. That’s right. Jacinda Ardern is not teaching her baby Neve how to speak Cook Islands Māori.
Gretchen: Maybe she should.
Ake: Well, she could definitely do both at once, right, because babies can do that. They’re really good at learning languages – closely related ones, different ones, all of them. But, yeah, because there isn’t that institutional support in the New Zealand context, where most Cook Islands people are, there isn’t a lot of resources for trying to do things to help the revitalisation.
Gretchen: Right. You’re doing some interesting things with respect to “Okay, there’s this TV coming in. Well, if the kids wanna watch the TV, let’s give them the TV, but in Cook Islands Māori.”
Ake: Yeah. So one of the problems that we’re having with our language revitalisation endeavours that we – the people of the Cook Islands, the older people who are speakers – are having, is a problem that is experienced in lots of language revitalisation contexts where we can sometimes, or often, have trouble gathering up our target, which is our young people – our children and our young people – because something about the traditional way that you try and do it isn’t attractive to them.
Gretchen: They don’t always wanna go off with their grandparents and learn traditional things. They wanna be on their iPads or whatever.
Ake: Yeah. I try to not say it quite as deficit as that. The common thing is like “Oh, that kid’s just interested in their phones, and they don’t wanna know about our traditional things, and they’re just interested in modern life and computer games.” That’s the anti-child position.
Gretchen: That’s the gripe version of that.
Ake: Yeah. I try to say that a lot of our young people are quite insecure about their language skills and about their cultural skills because, along with that stopping learning the language, another thing that just automatically happens – well, not automatically, but often is associated with that – is you also haven’t learnt all these important cultural things too. That can be quite a shameful sort of feeling for people in that situation, that they’re too shy to try and do all of that stuff at once because it’s all really hard because, as we all know, trying to learn a language when you’re not 2 years old is really hard.
Gretchen: And if you show up and your grandparents or elders are shaming you for not doing it right, and also not knowing how to fish right, or also not knowing how to cook right, or do the other traditional cultural practices right, then everything’s bad, and you’re bad at this, so you just might as well just not even come.
Ake: Exactly. Right? That’s pushing the blame where it actually belongs – onto the old people. Sorry, Nana.
Gretchen: I mean, I guess it’s the old people that want the young people to come, and so if they want to bring the young people in, they’ve gotta figure out how to make it enticing for them.
Ake: Yeah. This is a little bit of a point of tension in our context, and I think this is why it’s big in lots of other contexts where people are having this issue. One thing that I try to do in my encouraging language-learning practice – or language teaching practice – is to, instead of putting the pressure to learn all these important traditional things and learn this language as a 12-year-old or a 20-year-old when it’s as hard as learning any other random thing, that I get the students to try to talk about their phones, and their iPads, and the movies, and their favourite movie stars, and talk about the stuff that they feel culturally secure talking about, and the things that they’re interested in, and things that they – it’s not so much the interest side of it, because I think they are often interested in the traditional things –
Gretchen: The things that they’re already familiar with.
Ake: – but the things they feel confident engaging with, where they feel confident or, even in a lotta cases, excited. You ask people to talk about Beyoncé, and they get very excited, and have a lot of things to say, and they have good feelings when they do that. And so all those good feelings will flow onto the feelings associated with learning the language. And instead of being stressed and worried, they’ll be like “Oh, I’m thinking about Beyoncé and learning how to do this kind of sentence.”
Gretchen: Rather than have two sources of tension at once.
Ake: Exactly. Exactly. Taking away one of those sources of tension and trying to trick them that the other one isn’t that hard either. It seems quite a feat, at least for their happiness – they’re happier when they’re doing it.
Gretchen: Well, that’s a big part of language-learning, you need to feel okay about doing it.
Ake: Exactly. Exactly.
Gretchen: You had students make videos about, was it, Harry Potter in Cook Islands Māori?
Ake: Yeah, well, those students made the Harry Potter thing themselves. I was surprised because I would’ve thought that Harry Potter’s a little bit old these days, but apparently everyone still likes it. I don’t know.
Gretchen: I guess so. I don’t know. I still like Harry Potter, I guess.
Ake: Right.
Gretchen: They wanted to retell the basic theme of the story of Harry Potter?
Ake: Well, not quite, not quite. I mean, I’ve got a whole series of these Tampiritoa videos – that’s the Cook Islands Māori way of saying “Dumbledore” – which you can put a link to on here. They just made that up themselves. I have this method I use in-person, the face-to-face classroom, where I have a big box of toys that I get them to with play with. They act out stories and do stuff. They just decided one time, several years ago, that one of these particular doll-figurines was Dumbledore. And they called him “Tampiritoa” and just injected that Harry Potter stuff into the story. It wasn’t like they were retelling Harry Potter, they just sort of mish-mashed it with Harry Potter and whatever –
Gretchen: Whatever the other figurines were.
Ake: What do they call it? “Mash-up?”
Gretchen: Yeah. This is definitely Harry Potter fanfiction.
Ake: Yeah. Well, yes.
Gretchen: Much more than Harry Potter retelling.
Ake: Yes. That’s more accurate – yes. The original one started off – I called it a Harry Potter/Whale Rider crossover. Do you know the film The Whale Rider?
Gretchen: Not really. But I guess it’s about whales and people who ride them?
Ake: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It’s quite a good film. It’s about the Ewe, a people on the east coast of the North Island of New Zealand who their migration story involves their ancestor Paikea, coming to Aotearoa, coming to New Zealand, on a whale. It’s a story set in that community. It’s good. I recommend it. Interestingly, that person, Paikea, comes from Mauke, which is the island that I’m from in the Cook Islands, so we’ve got the other end of that story. In their story, it’s like “He arrives on Tolaga Bay on the...”
Gretchen: And you guys are like “He leaves...”
Ake: Yeah. We’ve got the leaving part of the story, which in modern times, we’ve all reconnected with each other, and we all visit each other’s places and all that kind of stuff. It was pretty sweet. So, yeah, Paikea, who is the whale rider, comes from Mauke. Back in Mauke, we’ve got a place, which is his wife, who’s now stone because she waited so long for him to come back, and he never came back because he moved to Gisborne.
Gretchen: Then this is crossing over with Dumbledore?
Ake: Oh, yeah. Sorry. Yeah. The story that they started off making was this mixture of those two things, and then it just sort of carried on because every time I teach that class, I say, “Make a better story than those last lot did,” and so they just...
Gretchen: Oh, okay. People keep adding. This is a very collaborative universe, fanfiction sort of context.
Ake: Yeah. It’s gone a way – if you walk through the sequence, it’s gone in some different directions. The most recent one, which is a couple of years old now, is about Trump and that election and other such. It covers all kinds of contemporary life.
Gretchen: Just various different aspects of this kind of thing. And then so once these videos are created, what happens to them afterwards? Can you use them again?
Ake: Yeah. The context I’m talking about here is the university language classroom with adults, and I make lots of little of these story videos as part of their process. But we just keep most of them in-house. The ones that they agree to, we put on YouTube so that everybody can watch them, and they can take it home, and show their Nana, and get told off for talking funny or whatever. Grandmothers are extremely important people in any family context.
Gretchen: It can lead to shared discussions between different generations about the topics that the kids are already paying attention to.
Ake: Yeah. And it demonstrates to their peers, who maybe haven’t had the chance to learn the language, that maybe if you did, you could talk about these kind of things, and it wouldn’t just always be the serious, traditional things.
Gretchen: It kind of makes the language cool for younger people.
Ake: Yeah. I’ve also done this thing where, in the small islands in the Cook Islands, the language is good. All the children there speak the language, and they use that language at school, and it’s all thriving and wonderful. But there’s 200 people on one island, and 60 people on one island, and 400 people on another. There’s not many people there, but in that small population, it’s thriving and doing really well.
Gretchen: There are kids in those small islands?
Ake: Yeah. In those places there are kids who are super competent speakers of that language. And so another thing I’ve done along this line of stuff is, when I’ve been over there doing other stuff, I have got some of the actual young children, 6- to 10-year-olds, 6- to 12-year-olds – primary school children – to make little stories, little cartoon movies, and comic strips and things like that, which is fun for them because they get interested in literacy and their language and different modes of literacy, so it’s good for them. But also what I’m after sort of more than that is then they make examples of cool kids' language that, if that goes into that collection, then the kids in New Zealand, which is most of our kids, can have access to other peer-language instead of only having old people to talk to. I love old people, but like...
Gretchen: It’s important for them to know that this language is still in-use among kids their age and can be used by kids their age, and it’s not just a grandma/grandpa thing that old people do, and it is something that can be part of their lives the way it’s part of these other kids’ lives.
Ake: Exactly – to use that as a model and to give them the chance to hear how it sounds and copy them and try and be cool like them or whatever – hopefully.
Gretchen: That’s really awesome. Thank you so much for coming on the show and talking to us. If there was one thing you could leave people knowing about the language or linguistics in general, what would that be?
Ake: Okay. This one’s kind of aimed at random people in New Zealand and linguists which is – please stop calling Cook Islands Māori “Rarotongan.”
Gretchen: “Rarotongan” is not the correct word for it?
Ake: “Rarotongan” is not the right name for this language because “Rarotongan” is the name for the specific variety that comes from Rarotonga, and everybody who doesn’t come from Rarotonga doesn’t like it when the whole language gets called “Rarotongan.” And the Rarotonga people don’t like it either because it’s not accurate.
Gretchen: It’s as if they’re taking credit for the whole thing. That’s one island of the 15 Cook Islands?
Ake: Yes. That’s right. It’s the big one. It’s the one that got used to translate the Bible and all that kind of stuff. So there’s all these political tensions. But most Cook Islands people – nearly everybody, I think – don’t like to have the whole language referred to by that name. Some people get a bit a muddled up. They’re like “Cook Islands Māori use English words,” and it’s like “Well, Rarotongan's not a Māori word either.” That’s actually an anglicised –
Gretchen: That’s like an English ending.
Ake: Yeah. It’s got an English ending on it. There is no Māori name for the whole group of islands because the group of islands was only put together by accident. It’s not a historically or politically unified place.
Gretchen: It’s a colonial construct of people coming in and calling them all something.
Ake: Yeah. There isn’t a traditional name for that place because it’s not a traditional place.
Gretchen: There’s an adapted version of the pronunciation of that that’s in your Twitter handle though, right?
Ake: Yeah. Sometimes we call it “Te Reo Kūki 'Āirani.” But “Kūki 'Āirani” is just the words “Cook Islands” pronounced in a Māori way.
Gretchen: Good. Cook Islands Māori, which will definitely be what we call it in the description for this episode – you’ve never done any different, probably, most people who are listening to this, so you’re already doing the right thing.
Ake: Yeah.
Gretchen: Good.
[Music]
Gretchen: For more Lingthusiasm, and links to all the things mentioned in this episode, go to lingthusiasm.com. You can listen to us on iTunes, Apple Podcasts, Google Play Music, SoundCloud, Spotify, or wherever else you get your podcasts. And you can follow @Lingthusiasm on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Tumblr.
Lauren tweets and blogs as Superlinguo, and I can be found as @GretchenAMcC on Twitter, and my blog is AllThingsLinguistic.com. You can follow Ake Nicholas on Twitter at @Te_Reo_Ka, which we will also link to from the show notes.
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[Music]
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I’ve been tagged by @chasemisprintedlies Thank you, sweetie!! 😊💖
1. What is your middle name? Marie
2. How old are you? 26
3. When is your birthday? May 9th
4. What is your zodiac sign? Taurus
5. What is your favorite color? Purple
6. What’s your lucky number? 9
7. Do you have any pets? Yes. A Yorkie named Cinnamon (though we’ve normally called her Cinni for a long time now haha) 😊
8. Where are you from? Virginia
9. How tall are you? 5′6″
10. What shoe size are you? 8.5 I think?
11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Probably 7?
12. What was your last dream about? I can’t remember.
13. What talents do you have? I can draw.
14. Are you psychic in any way? Umm... maybe? I think so.
15. Favorite song? I have too many favorites, so I’ll pick one: Ana’s Song (Open Fire) by Silverchair
16. Favorite movie? Liar Liar
17. Who would be your ideal partner? Someone that I can trust, who’s honest, funny, charming, and respects me as a person and respects my boundaries.
18. Do you want children? Yeah
19. Do you want a church wedding? Yeah, sure.
20. Are you religious? Yeah, I’m Christian (but not thoose Christians)
21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yes
22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? No
23. Have you ever met any celebrities? Unfortunately, no...
24. Baths or showers? Showers
25. What color socks are you wearing? None, I’m not wearing any socks.
26. Have you ever been famous? No
27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Umm, part of me would like to be, but really, I don’t. I don’t want that celebrity life lol.
28. What type of music do you like? All kinds, it just depends if it fits with my preference of music.
29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? No
30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2
31. What position do you usually sleep in? Whichever way I feel comfortable, but I usually end up sleeping on my side.
32. How big is your house? I moved into a small apartment.
33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Eggs and bacon.
34. Have you ever shot a gun? No
35. Have you ever tried archery? Yeah, I enjoyed it.
36. Favorite clean word? Is “poop” considered a clean word? lol
37. Favorite swear word? Fuck
38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? Probably over 60 hours.
39. Do you have any scars? Plenty
40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? Pretty sure, yeah.
41. Are you a good liar? I’m pretty good at it.
42. Are you a good judge of character? Yep
43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? Yeah, but they’re not very good haha.
44. Do you have a strong accent? I mean I don’t think so, but from someone else’s point of view, they might think I have.
45. What is your favorite accent? I like British accents.
46. What is your personality type? Very chill and reserved. Shy at first, but once people get to know me and I’m comfortable around them, I can be very funny and social (but I can barely hold a conversation lol)
47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? Honestly, I don’t know. Probably my mom’s old leather jacket she had since the 90′s and she gave it to me.
48. Can you curl your tongue? Yeah, I think so.
49. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie
50. Left or right-handed? Right
51. Are you scared of spiders? I hate them, I’m sorry.
52. Favorite food? Mac and Cheese.
53. Favorite foreign food? I don’t know.
54. Are you a clean or messy person? Clean
55. Most used phrase? “But, yeah,” or “I’m sorry.”
56. Most used word? Like
57. How long does it take for you to get ready? Usually 10-15 minutes.
58. Do you have much of an ego? No
59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Suck, but when it gets smaller, I bite them.
60. Do you talk to yourself? All the time.
61. Do you sing to yourself? Yes
62. Are you a good singer? Yeah, I think I can carry a tune.
63. Biggest Fear? Umm... going on an airplane. The end of the world while I’m still alive.
64. Are you a gossip? Uh, not really.
65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? Thirteen
66. Do you like long or short hair? Both, but I love my long hair.
67. Can you name all 50 states of America? Yeah
68. Favorite school subject? History
69. Extrovert or Introvert? Introvert
70. Have you ever been scuba diving? No
71. What makes you nervous? Screwing up on something.
72. Are you scared of the dark? Not really.
73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Sometimes
74. Are you ticklish? Yeah
75. Have you ever started a rumor? I think probably once in elementary school by accident.
76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Yeah
77. Have you ever drank underage? No
78. Have you ever done drugs? No
79. Who was your first real crush? I used to have a huge crush on Ricky Martin when I was 6.
80. How many piercings do you have? 4 (mostly on my ears)
81. Can you roll your R’s? Yeah, but I’m not so great at it.
82. How fast can you type? Pretty fast
83. How fast can you run? ... I can run pretty fast, but it won’t last long. But given a certain situation, I’d be speeding away.
84. What color is your hair? Dark brown
85. What color is your eyes? Brown
86. What are you allergic to? Pollen.
87. Do you keep a journal? No, even though I should.
88. What do your parents do? My dad works for a guard rail/fencing company while my mom works at a clinic.
89. Do you like your age? I mean nothing about me has changed since I was 16, so I guess so.
90. What makes you angry? Rude and inconsiderate people. Being ignored or forgotten about.
91. Do you like your own name? Not really, but it’s who I am. Like if I was given a choice to change my name, I wouldn’t ‘cause none of those names would do me justice lol. My name fits my personality lol.
92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? I mostly have girl names, so here’s my list: Aaliyah, Lily, Cosima, Angelina, Sabrina, Jasmine, and Kate.
93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? I want both.
94. What are your strengths? I’m a really tough shell to crack.
95. What are your weaknesses? It’s hard for me to say “no” during uncomfortable situations ‘cause I’m a people pleaser 😑 (I do say “no” though, it’s just the guilt that I feel right after.)
96. How did you get your name? My dad gave me my first name, I don’t know if the spelling of it came from my dad or from my mom.
97. Were your ancestors royalty? I don’t know, I heard my great great grandma or my great grandma on my dad’s side was rich, but idk.
98. Do you have any scars? Yeah
99. Color of your bedspread? Black
100. Color of your room? White
I’m tagging anyone who wants to do this (Really, I mean it. If you wanna do this, you can take it from me!) 😊
Thanks again for tagging me!!! 💕
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