#I thought they were supposed to get rid of headaches not cause then

[prozacandnicotine]

major tmi but I just came so hard I sobered up lmao jfc

someone wife me I beg

[shadowynn]

| in love and lore | nine |

pairing: ateez x fem reader

genre: fantasy/daemon/soulmate au

warnings: some cursing, violence, death, blood, negative thoughts

summary: the daemon king and his seven black generals. names and faces of these eight had changed over the years as each new king was crowned, but their reputation as the most powerful daemons always remained the same. upon hearing the rumors one of the seven led the charge of the nearby battle, you should have stayed close to the encampment. you should have never wandered out on your own. but you did, and your life would never be the same again. good or bad, you would just have to wait to find out.

“There’s no need to be afraid, angel.” His words were a breath against the side of your neck. “You’ve done so much for us, let your king now return the favor.”

wordcount: 12.5k

a/n: so, originally this chapter and the previous were supposed to be one part, but then somehow the journey from maehwa and taeyang took a life of its own and turned into nearly 30k words. and i think i still have things to add with it in the next chapter too. oops. but, i hope you all enjoy and that the longer chapter once again makes up for the wait. :)

| eight | nine | ten |

~

��Damn it.”

The curse slipped out of your mouth the moment you noticed the way Mingi’s lips had tilted upwards, fully aware the thoughts you had been trying to contain had slipped past your makeshift barrier once more. You leaned back in your seat with a sigh, rubbing at the headache that had begun to bloom in the front of your head. It had started earlier in the day, but your training session with Mingi had only caused it to worsen, the constant throbbing doing little to aid your concentration and causing the mental wall you had carefully attempted to construct to come tumbling down.

You couldn’t pin all the blame on it, however, and the lack of progress you had been making was beyond frustrating. Since you had left Maehwa nearly two weeks ago, you had spent an hour or two with Mingi, or one of the others if he was busy, but it wasn’t nearly as simple as the others made it look. The ease with which they directed their thoughts to one another, blocking out anyone they didn’t want to hear them, had made you assume it wouldn’t take long for you to get a hold of. And though there were rare instances where it worked, these were far and few between, making you feel like you were still exactly where you had started.

They did their best to be encouraging, but you couldn’t help but feel like some of it came up short. No one ever came outright and said it, but you didn’t have to read their thoughts to know what they were thinking. The lack of maetha flowing in your veins made the task all the more difficult for you. Your status as a halfbreed was once again making your life more difficult than if you had been born one or the other.

It felt strange, finding hatred building up inside of you towards the side of yourself that you had wished would be you for so long. All your life you had wanted to be normal. To be human. You had spent countless nights praying and wishing and hoping for a way to be rid of your daemonic heritage. All you wanted was to fit in and not be judged for something out of your control. But now, now you were once again reminded of your shortcomings because of it. Of how weak you were because of the human blood running through your veins.

It was frustrating to see how you fell short among the daemons and to realize that you would always fall short among them. To see how you would never fit in with them the same way you had never fit in with the humans. And you didn’t know which had been worse, being hated, feared, and mistreated, or to be constantly reminded of how weak you were, how impure you were, and how your humanity would always limit you.

“Maybe we should break for the night.” Mingi interrupted your train of thoughts, and though he did his best to hide it, you could tell he knew where your mind had just dwelled to. Whether it was from hearing the actual words, or just the emotions flooding through, you weren’t sure, but it didn’t matter. The general message was still the same. “It’s been a long few days of traveling and I’m sure you’re exhausted.”

You nodded. A part of you wanted to argue, eager to finally have a hold on your thoughts and a semblance of privacy once more, but you knew he was right. You were exhausted and your head was aching. Even if you attempted to push through for the moment, it would only succeed in making you more tired than you already were. 

“C’mon then, angel.” Mingi stood up first, extending a hand towards you. “I can walk you to your tent.”

You took his hand without much thought, allowing him to pull you up from your seat. Once you were up on your feet, you pulled the hood of your cloak over your head and followed Mingi through the rain. You had never minded the rain much before, but after traveling in it for the past week, you were desperate for a bit of sun. The woods you had been traveling through the last few days had given some cover from it, but you still felt like you were stuck in a perpetual state of being wet. This alongside the endless cloudy skies only added to your falling mood.

Things had changed in the weeks that had followed your talk with Hongjoong and the others, not quite as awkward as it had been in the days leading up to it, but you were still left with some level of discomfort. Talking through things had helped to clear the air, but it did little to help the unease you felt over being their mate, a fact you had still not been able to come to terms with yourself. They had kept their word and done little to pressure you into anything, keeping it all on your time and your terms, but you still found yourself squirming any time they did anything for you. The acts of civility and kindness were foreign enough, but the knowledge of why they treated you that way, sent your anxiety over the edge. 

You hadn’t known how you were going to tell your siblings, not when the mere thought of your tie to them left you all flustered and embarrassed. As normal as they tried to make it seem, you knew the idea of you being their mate was insane, and would sound just as insane to anyone else as it had for you. How were you supposed to sit down and explain it to Soomin and Hyunwoo when you couldn’t even accept it yourself? And yet, when you got down to it, you quickly discovered you didn’t have to. While neither had mentioned it in the week that had followed your first conversation with Hongjoong, both of your siblings had been privy to what had happened as your brother had boldly approached Hongjoong that first night and demanded to know what he had done to you to leave you in such a state. 

And while you were mildly perturbed by the fact Hongjoong had told Hyunwoo, who had  in turn told Soomin, it did make the conversation easier on your part. The surprise your relation to the daemons might have brought, had long already dissipated, allowing you to quickly voice your own concerns and fears to each of them.

The topic which had followed, however, had not been nearly as easy to have, and upon learning of your parents’ true demise, each of them were left in a similar state as yourself. Relieved by the knowledge of your father’s true nature, yet utterly crestfallen upon realizing the life that had been stolen from you. 

“You do know that none of us think lowly of you in any way.” Mingi had been silent during the short trek, but spoke up just as you were about to head inside, stopping your movements and causing you to look up at him. “And if anyone were undeserving of this, it’s us, not you. In truth, you’re much too good for us, for me. I’m not the man you deserve, not with the things I’ve done in the past, and you,” he sighed, tilting back your hood to see your face clearly, fingers brushing against your chin, “you’re the kindest and purest soul I’ve ever met and thinking of you as my mate almost feels sinful.”

You struggled to come up with a response, too busy attempting to process what he had just admitted to you. You knew you should come up with something, anything, but the raw emotion that had accompanied his words left you yearning to run away.

His words were a direct reflection of the self-loathing that filled you, and an attempt to try and placate it. You could feel the genuineness in his words, but it didn’t matter if Mingi was speaking what he believed to be the truth or not, the simple fact they were the ones undeserving and not yourself was the farthest thing from the truth. Maybe he did believe it, but that didn’t change the fact it was them who deserved someone better than yourself, someone pure. Someone whole. 

Overwhelmed, you turned your face away, unable to keep eye contact with him any longer. Offering a soft, “Goodnight, Mingi,” you slipped back into the tent behind you, hoping he didn’t see the true extent his words had on you.

“You’re back early,” Soomin looked up from the book she had been reading when you entered. “I was expecting Hyunwoo to return before you.”

“No, Mingi thought it would be a good idea if I retired early for the night.” You did your best to calm your raging heart, hoping Soomin was oblivious to the conversation you had just had and the state it had left you in. “And with the way my head has been pounding, I didn’t disagree.” 

Soomin sat up in her cot, bookmarking the page she was on and turning to give you her full attention for the time being. “Is it the training?”

“I don’t think so.” You shook your head, inwardly tensing at the sharp jab of pain the movement caused. “It’s never been this bad before and while it could just be a culmination of training so much these past few days, I think I might just be coming down with something.”

The thought had strayed across your mind as your head had worsened over the day, wondering if you were coming down with some sort of illness. The possibility was definitely there; the combination of the stress your body had been under the past few weeks with the cold rain that had left you drenched more often than not the past few days, certainly increased your odds of catching something. And though your blood quickly healed any physical injury you may have received, it did little to aid you whenever you were sick.

“Did Woo say where he was going this time?” You slid off your muddy boots and cloak near the entrance of the tent before collapsing on the cot next to your sister to alleviate some of the tension in your head, as well as attempt to emotionally recover from what Mingi had just confessed to you - god, that exit had not been graceful in any shape or form on your part. “I didn’t see him at the forge when I passed by on my way here.”

Out of the three of you, Hyunwoo seemed to have the easiest time adjusting to your new life, more at ease with the daemons than either you or Soomin were. He chatted with Hongjoong and the Seven with an ease that had you almost envious as you traveled throughout the day, often talking with them more than you ever did yourself, and leaving you wishing you could disappear from view whenever he spoke of tales from your childhood.

You had even begun to find him with one or two of them whenever you broke for camp in the evenings, most often finding him with Jongho near the makeshift forge. The latter had a keen interest in your brother’s daemon ability, and the two often spent the evenings talking while Hyunwoo helped to resupply their weapon stock. Sometimes Hongjoong or one of the others would join them, and it wasn’t until a few nights ago that the source behind their interest finally hit you. Yeosang had claimed your brother’s appearance was near identical to your father’s, the very man who had been close to all of them in their childhood, and this resemblance alongside a similar personality had pulled them in, reminding them of the friend they had lost so many years ago.

“I think he was going to ask one of the generals to teach him how to fight,” Soomin replied through a yawn. “I think Jongho had made some comment towards it a few nights ago and Woo sounded like he wanted to take him up on it.” 

“Oh.” You had a hard time keeping the disappointment out of your voice, unsure why her comment had affected you in such a way. 

It was hard to tell exactly how the budding friendship between him and the others made you feel. You were happy Hyunwoo had seemed to find a friendship among them, something none of you had really gotten to experience before, and more than happy to know he didn’t seem to resent you or blame you for being dragged away from your home. But there was another part of you that was envious of him and the ease with which he communicated with them alongside the naturally forming relationships. An ease which might have been yours if you didn’t have the status of being their mate hanging over your head and how this one singular factor had forced them all into your life. 

Things had gotten better since you had talked with them and established some ground rules for how this whole relationship - if that’s what you were to call it - would work, but that didn’t mean you were at complete ease with your newfound situation either. None of it changed the fact you had been forced into this situation against your will, nor did it change the fact you would be able to walk away if you so wished. And in some ways, the truth had only caused your anxiety to spike, reading farther into things than you had before. While you had constantly questioned the motive behind their actions before you found out they were your mates, you now constantly questioned whether these same actions were done purely because of this fact. Unlike the seemingly naturally flowing relation between them and your brother, you couldn’t help but see how different yours was from it and how it would have never even been if it wasn’t for the fact you were their mate. 

“Do you ever wish I would have just listened to you?” 

“Hmm?” Soomin hummed, not quite understanding what it was that you were asking.

“Do you ever wish I would have listened to you and stopped going out at night? Stopped being the Black Angel?” you asked, gaze locked on the ceiling above you. “If I had, I might have never gotten us into this mess and we might still be at home, curled up next to the fire after a long day at work.”

“Do you really think that would have changed anything?” she replied, and upon seeing your confusion, continued. “Even if you never saved their soldiers, even if you never saved Seonghwa, none of that would have changed the fact you were still their mate. None of it would have changed the fact they were looking for you, and would have found you in Maehwa all the same when they attacked it or that they would want to bring you back with them once the war was over.”

“I don’t know, Min, I can’t shake the thought that none of them would have cared about me if it wasn’t for the things I did. For the way I helped them.” You shivered, remembering the words Mingi had spoken earlier. Would they still think highly of you if it wasn’t for your deeds as the Black Angel? Would they still think a poor, halfbreed was too good for them? Would they still want you for a queen? 

“I’m afraid I’m unable to accurately speak on their behalf, but I can’t help but believe that nothing would have changed.”

“And what makes you say that?”

“Well, for one, have you seen the way they look at you, n/n?” The way your cheeks tinted pink was all the confirmation Soomin needed. “And it’s not just the pure adoration they hold for you, either. You should see what happens when you’re with Hyunwoo, and I’m now fairly confident they’re jealous of your relationship with him, crestfallen at the way you go to him for everything and not them. I had never seen a man look as disappointed as San did when Woo carried you back to our tent that third night on the road after complaining about being sore from riding, especially with the way you two were giggling.” Soomin laughed as her response caused your embarrassment to deepen. “And after everything else they’ve done thus far, I’ve held the sneaking suspicion for a few days now that they’ve started to keep Woo busy at night so you’re forced to spend time with them instead.” 

“That is not true, Min, and you know it.” 

You were quick to deny her statement, finding the idea absolutely ridiculous. The idea of them being jealous of the close relationship you had with your brother was insane, and the only reason Hyunwoo had begun to be busy these past few nights was because of the friendship that had begun to form between them. If anyone were to be jealous in this situation, it was you. After all, not one of them had ever asked if you wanted to learn how to fight or even what it was you wanted altogether. 

“Do you think this will ever feel normal?” You turned your head back in the direction of your sister, eager to change the topic to something else. 

“In which way do you mean?” Soomin’s head tilted at your question. “Normal in the sense the daemons won the war and we’ll now be living in their domain, or normal in the sense your the daemon king’s mate and you’re to be their queen?”

“I don’t know,” you sighed, rolling back over as the weight of her words hit you in a different way than the ones before, “both I guess.”

She was quiet for a minute, pondering the question you had posed for her. “It will likely take quite a bit of time and effort, but I’m almost certain somewhere down the road it will be. We still have our whole lives in front of us.”

“I don’t know, Minnie. I don’t think the fact they want me to be their queen will ever feel normal.”

You couldn’t control the shiver the words elicited from you. With everything going on and the position you were currently in, you had never let your thoughts dwell to that part of your relationship with the daemons and did your best to always push it away, nonsensically believing it wouldn’t be true if you never admitted it to yourself.

“Would you think ill of me if I said I wished it wasn’t the case?” Fighting the pounding in your head, you stared once more at the ceiling above you, wondering once again how you had landed yourself here. “For wishing that it would have been anyone else but me? I don’t want to be their mate and I sure as hell don’t want to be a queen. I just want to be normal. I want to feel normal.”

“And why would I think ill of you for that?”

“Because I can’t shake the guilty feeling that rises up each time I wish things would just go back to the way they were before; just you, me, and Woo against the world,” you replied. “And I’m terrified. I thought I was scared before, back when the daemon brought me to Seonghwa and back when they attached this bond to me, but knowing the truth to everything has only made it worse. I may be half-daemon, but the world of daemons is completely foreign to me. I don’t know their culture. I don’t know their customs, and to be told I’m the mate of the daemon king and to be thrust into it all just feels like some sort of cruel joke. I mean, look at me, do I look like a queen to you?”

You motioned to your current state of dress, the oversized and stained riding leathers a comical difference from the dress you had worn on the night of the ball. And a stark difference from what you imagined a lady of your coming status was supposed to look like.

“I don’t know, n/n, you look pretty regal to me.” It was Hyunwoo who replied, hearing your question from outside the tent as he clambered inside. “I’ve been told weather-stained leather is all the rage back in Taeyang these days.”

“Oh, sure.” Your eyes narrowed at the innocent smile that lined his features as he kicked his boots off, oblivious to the conversation you and Soomin had been having about him earlier. Really? They were jealous of him? Hyunwoo? Your twin brother? “It must go right in hand with being hornless. I’m sure I’ll be the envy of the entire city when we get there.”

“Oh, I’m sure you will be. Just maybe not exactly for that reason.”

“God, Woo, please don’t remind me,” you groaned, rolling over to lay on your back once more. 

As much as all the traveling and the incessant rain wore you down, you had no desire for it to come to an end anytime soon. You were well aware of what awaited you at the end of this journey and had come to dread it. Though you had never felt completely at ease with the daemons you traveled with here, your previous actions as the Black Angel and the amount of daemons you had healed had created a sort of buffer for you. They may have looked down at you for your lineage, but there was some respect towards you from some of them, grateful for the lives you had saved in the past two years. It was the same respect you had garnered from the human soldiers you had traveled with. They may have never known you as the Angel, but they were well aware of your abilities, having played a hand in healing almost all of them at some point in the war.

But you could only imagine what sort of fresh hell awaited you at Taeyang and what sort of reception you would receive from the daemons there upon your arrival. You had barely come to terms with your own fate as it were; you couldn’t imagine what sort of reaction it would pull from the daemons when they found out and had no doubt that many of them would do everything in their power to stop the plans Hongjoong had for you. And though you told yourself it would never come to fruition, a small part of you wondered what might become of you if they succeeded. Whether this was by killing you off like the other half-daemons or by convincing Hongjoong and his generals of what you had told them all along, that you being their mate really was insane, and that they would finally turn their backs on you for good.

Sensing your distaste for the direction the conversation had taken, Hyunwoo transitioned it over to how his evening at camp had gone. Sure, enough, Jongho had been serious in his offer to train your brother and had spent the last few hours teaching him the basics. Unlike your time with Mingi, however, it seemed Hyunwoo had been able to see some progress by the end of the session, more enthusiastic than you had ever been when you left Mingi, or whoever else was helping you, each evening. 

At some point in the conversation, you fell asleep, exhausted by the day’s events, only to wake up hours later feeling much worse than you had before. No longer was your head the only thing aching, but the rest of your body as well. No matter how much you yearned to go back to sleep, you spent the next few hours in a semi-awake state, tossing the blankets on, off, and on again from the feverish chills that racked your body.

You were only able to stay curled up in bed for so much longer. Despite every fiber in your body yearning to stay curled up in bed, you hated how sleep continued to escape you. You may have felt akin to death in that moment, especially when you slowly pulled yourself up, but the hope of being able to find some form of medicine in the infirmary and ease your symptoms was all the motivation you needed to clamber to your feet.

The camp was quiet as you made your way outside, the daemons who were not on duty asleep inside their own tents. The rain had finally let up a little in the night, slowing to a drizzle, but still enough to have you wrapping your cloak tightly around you. 

As you made your way to the infirmary, you were once again thankful you had convinced them you no longer needed a constant guard. You didn’t know how they might have reacted to the fact you were sick, but you had no desire to find out. The last thing you wanted was to be coddled at the moment, especially when you had to make a short detour when your stomach rolled on you. 

The infirmary was mostly empty when you arrived, the majority of the daemons injured from the earlier fighting having long been healed by yourself. Other than the two daemons asleep in cots among the back corner of the tent, the only other person inside was the daemon sorting through the current stock to your left. He briefly looked your way when he heard your approach, gaze doubling back quickly when you pulled your hood down and he saw who you were.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to be a bother, but do you happen to have any medicine in stock? Anything to help with a fever?” You were nervous in your approach, fully recognizing him as someone you had seen working here before, but never without one of the Seven at your side. And while you didn’t imagine he would do anything, not with your relation to Hongjoong and the others, you still grew nervous under his gaze, wondering just how that relation made him feel.

“I’m afraid we don’t usually keep those sorts of medicines in stock,” the daemon shook his head. “We don’t typically need to carry anything relating to human illnesses as it’s rare we ever have need of them.”

“Oh, right.”

Your mood swiftly fell, fully reminded in that moment how daemons didn’t suffer from the same diseases or illnesses the humans did, and that it was rare a daemon ever actually got sick. It was just another way your lineage had cursed you, and another reminder of how much weaker you were than them. And after the past few days and the way you felt at that moment, it was hard to fight back the tears his statement brought.

“But we might have the ingredients in stock for them if you’re feeling up to brewing it yourself.” He motioned to the boxes beside him. “I would offer to do it for you, as I am the one on duty right now, but I’m afraid I don’t know the recipe.”

“Really?” Relief flooded through you at his response. It wasn’t the ideal solution, as you currently felt like your legs were going to give up on you at any moment, but if spending the next hour fighting through the pain meant it would ease it for the rest of the day, then so be it. “I would greatly appreciate that.”

He left you alone after that, spending the majority of his time and attention on his own work, rather than on yourself. And though he peered in your direction every so often, you were able to ignore him as you worked, doing your best to concentrate on the task at hand and not mess it all up.

By the time you were finishing up, the first peaks of sunlight in days began to make their way through the tent, and you could hear the camp beginning to wake up around you. And though you had hoped you would finish up and be back at your own tent before anyone of importance noticed you were missing and sick, your luck wore out as you began pouring the freshly brewed potion into an empty flask and saw a familiar tall figure make his way inside.

You froze, assuming Yunho had made his way here to check up on you, but his eyes never strayed in your direction as he approached the daemon on duty and started asking about the current status of supplies. Not wanting to press your luck, you quickly finished up your work in an attempt to step out before he took notice of your stray figure in the back, but in your haste and weakened state, you stumbled over one of the supply boxes on the ground. The trip was enough to cause you to lose a grip on the cauldron you had been attempting to put back up and creating a loud enough commotion that had both daemons swiftly looking in your direction.  

“y/n, what are you doing here?” Yunho’s eyes widened when he saw it was you, leaving the daemon healer he had been talking with to rush to your side and pick up the cauldron you had just dropped.

“Oh, um… just some potion brewing.” The words stumbled out and it took everything in you to keep your cheeks from tinting pink as Yunho put the cauldron up and turned to direct his focus on you.

“At this hour?” 

“I had a hard time sleeping last night, so-” you paused, burying your face into the crook of your sleeve as you sneezed, “I came here.”

You were desperate to get away, knowing each second you lingered here with him, the easier it would be for him to see through your facade. The last thing you wanted was to attract more attention or concern towards you in this moment, but he stopped you when you made to move past him.

“You’re sick.” It wasn’t a question, and the concern which lined his face at the realization made your stomach drop. “Mingi mentioned your head was bothering you last night, but we just assumed it might have been the training.” He raised a hand towards your face, pressing the back against your forehead before you were able to rebuke his earlier assessment. “Angel, you’re burning up. What are you doing out of bed? You should be resting if you’re not feeling well.”

“I’m fine,” you shook your head, doing your best to not wince at the pain the action caused and attempting to step away and create some distance between the two of you. “I made some medicine for myself, so I’m sure I’ll be feeling like normal here in a little bit.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Yunho continued to press, his reaction revealing exactly why you hadn’t wanted to bother any of them over your health. “We could have gotten what you needed while you rested.”

“Yunho, I’m fine, really.” You waved his concern away with your hand, moving for the entrance in the hopes he would let it be. “Besides, I don’t suppose there’s anyone here but me that knows how to combat human illnesses.”

His face fell at your words, quickly realizing you were right. When it came down to brewing potions that dealt with human ailments, you were the only one in the entire camp who had any knowledge or experience with it. 

After you finally convinced him to leave you be to get ready after accompanying you back to your tent, you had thought that it was the last of it and that he would let you be. Unfortunately for you, you quickly came to realize that you hadn’t even faced the worst of it yet when Wooyoung approached you later with only his horse in tow.

“Where’s Nari?” You asked, scanning the crowd around you for the horse that had been given to you for the journey. 

Now that you had some medicine in you, you felt much better than you had earlier, but you could still feel the lingering effects of exhaustion lining your body and you wanted nothing more than to catch up on the sleep you had missed the night before. 

“Considering your current state, we thought it best if you rode with one of us today. That-”

“No, I’m fine, really.” You shook your head, cutting him off before he could finish and hating that Yunho had gone back and told everyone about your current state of health..

Ride with one of them? You were anxious enough being around them all day on your own horse, how the hell were you supposed to make it through when you would be that close to one of them? And while it wasn’t like you hadn’t been that close before, it had only been for brief moments, and you hadn’t been the least bit aware of what was going on between you. Well, except for when Hongjoong had embraced you, but that had been different. That had been an action spawned from the desperate need of comfort rather than any physical gain, like when San had forced you to dance with him. 

He sighed, “Angel-”

“Really, I’m fine. And even if I wasn’t, it’s not like I haven’t had to work or travel while I wasn’t feeling physically up to it before, you know? I might be a little tired, but I can still ride a horse just fine.”

“Just because you’ve had to do it before doesn’t mean you still have to,” Wooyoung replied, just as stubborn as you were when it came to winning this argument. “Honestly, angel, you look terrible - not like that, pretty. You’re still as beautiful as ever,” he was quick to add at the way your eyes had narrowed from the comment he had made about your appearance, causing you to become more flustered than you were before and wishing you hadn’t reacted in the first place. “But I can see how this is taking a toll on you, so please, ride with me today.” His gaze softened, Wooyoung’s generally playful attitude masked by the concern he had for you. “Let us take care of you, angel. Please.”

Your arms crossed as you mulled over his words, turning your head away to hide the flustered state he had left you in. Everything in you told you to continue fighting him on the matter, uncomfortable with the aspect of letting anyone take care of you, of letting anyone love you, especially if it were them. The mere thought of giving in only served to terrify you, leaving you feeling more exposed than you had before. Because what would happen if you did? What would happen if you did allow them to help and care for you? What would happen if you let down your barriers and allowed them closer inside only to discover none of this had ever been true. Only to find out it had all been some cruel plan to use you in some way. Because despite everything they said, why would they ever accept someone like you as their mate?

“But how will you ever come to know our intentions are genuine if you never give us a chance?” Wooyoung let go of his horse’s reins for a moment, taking hold of the bottom of your chin to lift your gaze up to him. “Just ride with me for the morning, and if you’re feeling better in a few hours, you can go back to riding Nari like normal.”

He didn’t wait for your agreement, simply taking your hand and guiding you over to his horse. You knew you should have fought him, pulled your wrist from his grasp and stood your ground. All it would take was one swift reminder that he had agreed to do things on your terms and this was not something you were entirely comfortable with yet, but you didn’t. Whether it was the sincerity in his voice or and the way he had so desperately pleaded for you to let him in, the gentleness in his actions, or just the haze that covered your mind from being sick, you let him continue without any further hint of opposition. 

When he swung up behind you, your body immediately stiffened, straightening up as much as you could to avoid the way his chest had brushed up against your back. It was impossible for you to completely avoid his touch, however, and his arms brushed against your waist as they took up the reins in front of you. 

Besides a few questions about your current wellbeing from a few of them, no one commented on your position with Wooyoung when you had reached the others. You could see the looks they gave, however, and though the daemons’ gazes were directed towards Wooyoung out of what you could only assume might have been possible jealousy, it still left an odd pit in your stomach all the same and had you squirming in your seat, reminding you of the comments Soomin had made the night before. 

The distance between you and Wooyoung only lasted for so long. Even if it wasn’t for the way your back was beginning to ache from the uncomfortable stance or the exhaustion that slowly grew as the day dragged by, you would have still struggled to maintain the distance you had created. Yunho was right when he had said the bond between mates was hard to ignore, and you struggled to actively fight the part of you that craved to give in and close the distance, to allow yourself to fully relax and take comfort in his touch and presence. 

You barely lasted an hour before you finally caved, shifting your weight almost subconsciously until you were fully resting against him. The action caused a soft exhale from Wooyoung, whose own body shifted almost automatically, bringing you in closer against him. 

“If you’re tired, feel free to sleep, angel.” Wooyoung spoke shortly after. “I’ve got you.” 

You nodded, having no intentions of falling asleep, but it seemed your body had different plans. It wasn’t long afterwards that you found yourself beginning to drift off and no matter how hard you attempted to keep your eyes open, you eventually settled into a dreamless slumber, rocked by the gentle sway of the horse beneath you and soothed by Wooyoung’s close presence.

By the time you were waking back up, the sun had long started its descent. It took you a few seconds to regain your setting, burrowing farther into the body behind you and relishing in the warmth that surrounded you. It wasn’t until you felt the chuckle reverberating in the chest you leaned against that you began to remember where you were and just who you were currently curled up against.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled between a yawn, pulling away from him in embarrassment. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

The longer you were awake, the more aware of your surroundings you became. And though your exhaustion had left you for the most part following your much needed nap, your body ached from the uncomfortable position you had been stuck in for so long and the headache that had disappeared earlier in the day had once again begun to come back now that the potion’s effects had started wearing off. 

“Don’t be,” Wooyoung replied, gently easing you back into your previous position against him. “Trust me when I say I did not mind in the least and am more than happy to have been able to help you catch up on some much needed sleep.”

You nodded, though his words did little more than deepen the blush that had already tinted your cheeks, fueled all the more by the looks the others sent your way in that moment. The slight frown that crossed San’s face followed by the soft rumble of Wooyoung’s chest as he laughed, all but confirming they were not only aware of your emotional state at the moment, but they were probably in the middle of a conversation you were conveniently blocked out of. It wasn’t the first time they had purposefully locked you out of their mental conversations, and you didn’t doubt it wouldn’t be the last either. 

“How long was I asleep?” you asked, doing your best to stretch out some of your aching muscles without bumping too much into the daemon behind you.

“The majority of the day,” he replied. “The woods should finally come to an end here in the next few miles, giving us a fairly decent place to camp for the night.”

Sure enough, Wooyoung spoke the truth and you soon came out of the woods that had plagued you for the last day and a half, and you were able to catch the first real peaks of sunlight in days before it disappeared behind the horizon. You were relieved when you were finally able to dismount for the day, securing some much needed space between you and Wooyoung, and yet almost instantly missing his presence the moment his touch left.

You rumbled through the belongings Wooyoung had attached to his horse for the day once he had helped you dismount, searching for the potion you had brewed that morning and taking another drink in the hope of quelling the headache that had begun to bloom once more and stifling the fever that would follow soon thereafter. And despite Wooyoung telling you to take it easy for the night, you waved his and the others’ concern away and helped set up camp for the night. 

One thing you could all agree on, however, was that you would forgo your training with Mingi for the night. The medicine might have helped quell the headache that had been plaguing you before, but they had still thought it best if you took it easy for the next few days until you completely recovered. And though you hated the feeling of being coddled and treated as though you were fragile, you had no qualms skipping the session for the day. At the rate you were going, you were pretty confident you would still be exactly where you were even with a few extra sessions.

So, after you had grabbed something to eat for that night, you followed Soomin back to your tent for the evening, wanting some time to yourself after being so close to Wooyoung for the day. You planned on going to bed early that night, hoping to regain your energy for the next day and avoid being put in a similar position to the one you were in earlier, but it seemed as though your brain had a different plan. 

No matter how much you tossed and turned, your brain refused to shut off, running through everything that had happened that day and unable to shake the flustered state it left you in each time you thought about the fact you had fallen asleep against Wooyoung and how you had put yourself in such a vulnerable position before him. 

You were well aware he and the others were already fully aware of your feelings towards them and the way certain actions made you feel. They may have held some constraint when it came to reacting to the thoughts and emotions you struggled to restrain, but you knew they heard more than they ever let on. You may have had a better hold on your thoughts than your emotions, finding it easier to keep your thoughts to yourself than it was to rein in your emotions, but did they need to hear the panicked thoughts going through your mind when your emotions told them everything they needed to know? You may have attempted to put up an air of indifference and the want of space, if only for your own sanity, but there was no hiding the strong attraction that pulled you in. And though you told yourself it was the fault of the bonds that tied you together and that you would never think or act on these things without them, it did little to make you feel any better or hide the embarrassment they brought. 

It just wasn’t fair. You were laid out so plainly for them to see and know and yet, their thoughts and intents were hidden away from you. It left you in a constant state of vulnerability, completely exposed for them, and yet, you knew absolutely nothing when it came to them. You had no clear idea if they spoke the truth or if their actions towards you were as genuine as they claimed. They seemed authentic, the vulnerability Yeosang and Hongjoong had shown you when they had mentioned their past seemed nothing but genuine, but you couldn’t shake the doubt away. Your entire relationship had started on secrets and partial truths, so how did you know anything had changed? How did you know you wouldn’t get to your destination in a few weeks and everything would change. 

Uncomfortable with the direction your thoughts had taken and not wanting to lay there any longer mulling over then sleeplessly, you clambered out of bed. Making your way over to the exit, you pulled your boots and cloak on as quietly as you could to avoid waking either of your siblings and slipped out into the night. 

The camp was still around you, the only daemons up and about at this hour were the ones on guard, quietly patrolling the edges of the ground. Wanting some semblance of privacy, you made your way to the edge of the camp, towards the edge of the forest you had been traveling through. While Hongjoong could reach you at any distance, you were far enough away from him to prevent any of your own thoughts from reaching him or the others, allowing you to relax a bit knowing your mind was your own for the time being. 

The guards patrolling paid little attention to your figure as you went, having long grown used to your nightly escapades the past few weeks and confident by now to know you just wanted some air and time to yourself. You settled against a tree along the border, keeping you just out of sight from the nearest guard. You had come out for a breath of fresh air, hoping the outside world would distract you from the thoughts that had been consuming you, but as you leaned your head back to look up at the night sky above you and noticed the subtle shift in constellations, they all came tumbling back, fully reminding you how you had left Maehwa and the humans far behind. 

You had traveled far from Maehwa before, reaching many of the cities that lay upon the human’s territory of the known world, but this was different. You still had another few days before you reached the border and had been this far from home before, but back then you had always had the reassurance you would be going back. That it was only temporary. Now, you were fully heading into the unknown without any confirmation if you would ever see your childhood home again. And though there was some comfort in knowing you weren’t alone, that Soomin and Hyunwoo were with you this time, it did little to stop the homesickness that had begun building up inside you ever since you had left. 

Maehwa and its inhabitants had never treated you well, and you may have been treated like a prisoner rather than a citizen more often than not, but it had been your home. Knowing you would never again see the four walls of the house you had grown up in or work another shift at the infirmary with Suho created an odd pit in the bottom of your stomach. You hadn’t had many friends outside your siblings, but you would have considered the man who had always treated you so kindly as something akin to it. And after everything you had been through together, you hadn’t even had a chance to tell him goodbye or to tell him how thankful you were for the kindness he had always shown you. 

Now you were on your way to somewhere new, accompanied by people nearly just as foreign as the place you were traveling to. No matter how many rumors and snippets you had heard about the southern kingdom, you had no idea what it was really like there. You may have spent several weeks with the daemons at this point, but all it had done was show you how different your way of life was from there, causing tension between you. You couldn’t imagine what else would happen when you finally arrived at your final destination or how its citizens would react to someone like you. Someone who was not only seen as an abomination and impure, but someone completely oblivious to their customs and way of life.

You sighed, running a hand through your hair and sinking further into the tree behind you. Hongjoong and the others made it sound so easy, as though you could just waltz into Taeyang as their mate without any sort of complications or backlash, completely oblivious to the fact that it was a completely different world for you than it was them. They wouldn’t be the ones on the receiving end of the daemons’ long rooted hatred, you would. And nothing they did or say would ever bring it to-

Your thoughts were shattered when you heard a strangled cry in the distance, coming from the direction of the nearest stationed guard. It was soft enough to not cause too much alarm, but enough to catch your attention in the dead of night. The cry was quickly followed by a thump, as though whoever had made the initial sound had fallen. Rising up from your seat, you turned in the direction the guard had previously been seen illuminated by the fire beside him only to find him missing from view.

For a second, you panicked, immediately coming to the conclusion you were under attack before realizing how crazy that was. The camp contained the bulk of the daemon army, alongside their king and all seven of his generals. Who in their right mind would dare to attack them? Even with a surprise attack in the middle of the night, it was downright suicide for the humans to attempt a rebellion now in such a manner. Not when they had just seen how easy it was for the daemons to conquer their cities. Not when the war had drained them of both men and supplies.

No, the guard must have just grown tired from his watch and tripped in the dark. The area around you was completely still. No further sounds came from the woods around you, but neither did they come from the direction of the guard either. And though this did send a shiver of doubt coursing through you, fearing your first thought might be true, you shook it away as you clambered up from your spot. If you were under attack, there would have been a larger commotion. You would have seen and heard them coming through the forest behind you as they made their way into your camp. But you didn’t, so the more reasonable solution was that the guard had just fallen and hit his head, rendering him unconscious.

And yet, despite your confidence in the way the events had played out, you were still cautious in your approach, pulling your hood back over your head and turning the hair comb Hyunwoo had given you into a dagger. Both might have not done much against any daemon, the runes Soomin had stitched along the hem not quite powerful enough to trick a daemon, but enough to give you some protection against the humans.

“Shit!” The curse rolled0 out when you approached the scene, quickly taking cover behind a nearby tree when you saw the arrow sticking out of the guard’s chest, bringing your original fears to light.

As the panic quickly settled in, your heartbeat began to quickly increase, having no clear idea what to do in this given situation. You could see the laborious breaths of the daemon in front of you, body now outlined with a dim glow from the cloak you wore. He was dying, that much was obvious, and you knew you needed to do something before he succumbed to his wounds, but what? The area around you was still quiet, making it difficult to pinpoint the source of the attack.

You did your best to keep your breathing even, knowing one wrong move on your part would alert them to your presence - if they weren’t already aware of it - but you struggled to control it and the way your hands had begun to shake, loosening your grip on your dagger. You weren’t a stranger when it came to the battlefield, but this was not how it normally was for you. Either the combatants around you were dead or dying, or you had the safety of those who knew what they were doing around you. The last time you had been in this type of situation, your entire life had been turned upside down by the daemons, but it wasn’t the daemons who were attacking you this time around. It was the humans, it had to be them, and they would not show you mercy this time around. Not after knowing you had ultimately betrayed them in the end. 

If it came down to a fight between you and those who had shot the guard, you didn’t stand a chance, and yet, you couldn’t stay here either and just let the guard die. You had to get both yourself and him to safety further inside the camp, and you needed to warn the others, but how?

There was no way to reach out to Hongjoong and the others, not with the distance you had created earlier. And while, Hongjoong might have been able to catch snippets of the panic that had risen inside you, he would be oblivious to your situation while he was sleeping. Unless you left the guard to die and made a mad dash by yourself, you were on your own. 

The realization caused the panic to spike once more, and you silently cursed your luck. The one time you were thankful for the bond which tied you to them, and it was now closed off to you. The one time you found yourself wanting them, needing them, and they weren’t there. And the only one to blame for it all, was yourself. They had offered you protection before, but the constant guard had felt so unnecessary when you had been surrounded by soldiers. It had felt stifling then, leaving you yearning for space and privacy, and yet, here you were. In the very situation you had sworn would never happen, and completely on your own because of it.

But standing here and wishing things would be different wasn’t going to do you any good now and it definitely wasn’t going to help you save yourself or the guard either. If you wanted to get the both of you out of this situation alive, you would have to act, and do so quickly. Already the light lining his body was beginning to fade and if you stood around wasting any more time panicking, he was going to die.

Without waiting to think about it and allow your fear to stop you, you rushed out from the cover of the trees, making your way as quickly and quietly to the injured soldier as you could, and hoping whoever in the woods was human and would have a hard time tracking you with your enchanted cloak. When you reached the man, you put the blade of the dagger in your mouth, using your teeth to grip it and free up your hands so you could drag him back into the camp and take cover behind one of the tents.

Fueled by the adrenaline coursing through your veins, it didn’t take you too long to pull him away, only stopping once you were no longer out in the open. Dropping him as gently as you could manage, you grabbed your dagger out of your mouth and began tearing away his shirt to get a view of the wound.

The arrow had missed his heart, but the black veins which greeted you only fueled your fears, the way they slowly spread across his body a telling sign of the poison which had coated the tip of the arrow. Bloodsbane, a deadly poison you might have been able to properly combat if the antidote wasn’t sitting in the infirmary on the other side of the camp.

Disheartened, yet desperate to save him somehow, you went to work. The tip of the arrow hadn’t gone all the way through, leaving it still embedded inside his chest, so you eased him to his side as gently as you could manage, ushering soft reassurances under your breath as you went. Despite your panic, your hands moved on their own accord. You may have been clueless when it came to handling the previous situation or what to do if the attackers began to pursue you, but you did know exactly what to do with the daemon in front of you. You had done it hundreds, if not thousands of times before, ingraining the process inside your mind.

Your focus helped with the nerves, keeping your hands steady as they eased the shaft of the arrow further into his chest, continuing until the tip of it pierced through his back. With the tip now all the way through, you broke off both the head and the fletching at the end to allow the shaft to slide all the way through without causing any further damage. Tossing the broken arrow to the side, you took the dagger in your lap and quickly slid the blade across the inside of your wrist. A low hiss escaped at the cool sting of the blade, but you ignored it the best you could and raised it over his open wound, hoping your blood would be able to hold him together long enough for you to make a dash for the infirmary and grab the antidote you needed. Your blood might have held healing properties against physical injuries, but it could only do so much, and the poison which coursed through his veins was far beyond you. 

“What the hell is going on out here?”

You were startled at the voice that spoke up behind you, finding a daemon shuffling out of a nearby tent. He was yawning at first, only half awake as he stretched out his limbs, but the smell of blood that filled the air and your crouched figure was enough to pull him fully awake.

“Please, you need to get Hongjoong.” Your eyes were quick to notice the way his hand flew to his side, leaving the tip of a sword pointed in your direction. In an effort to alleviate the tension and convince the daemon to help, you pulled the hood of your cloak back. “He was attacked, though I do not know by whom or where they might be now. I need you to fetch me some bloodsbane antidote and alert Hongjoong to the attack.” 

“Attacked, you say?” His eyes narrowed, and you inwardly cursed at his disbelief. You knew how it looked and you knew how they might feel about you, but of all times for their prejudice to show, it had to be now? At the very moment both of your lives were in danger? “I don’t see anyone else around but the two of us.” 

“If it was me, do you really think I’d be sticking around in the open right now trying to heal him? Or asking for Hongjoong?” Your words were leadened with the frustration you felt in that moment, not just from the prejudice he showed, but fully aware the guard before you would end up dead if he didn’t do as you asked. “So, please, if you do not want this man’s blood on your hands, you need to do as I say and alert Hongjoong to what has happened and get me the anti-'' Your words cut off as the glow around his body began to flicker, signaling it might have already been too late. “Please,” your eyes raised one last time, pleading with the soldier to do as you said, “he’s dying and I can’t save him if you don’t help me.”

You were almost certain he wouldn’t listen, but after what felt like forever, his stance relaxed and the blade pointed your way was sheathed. “Bloodsbane, you say?” And upon your confirmation, he turned on his heel and was off.

There was slight relief in knowing you were no longer alone, in knowing any minute now the guard would reach Hongjoong’s tent and relay the situation to him. The weight of the situation was no longer fully on your shoulders anymore and all you needed to do was hold out for a few more minutes and everything would be just fine.

Your relief was short lived, however, as the light around his body flickered one last time before fading out completely.

“No, no, no.” You cried, unable to accept just what it meant. You reached for your dagger once more, drawing more blood and attempting to pour it down his throat this time around. “C’mon, don’t do this yet. Just a bit longer, please, and everything will be okay.”

Your hands were shaking, fingers pressing against the edge of his neck in a desperate search for the pulse that was no longer there, so focused on saving him that you didn’t notice the hand that had whipped forward and grabbed hold of your wrist until your actions had been completely rendered useless.

“What the hell?” Your eyes widened, shocked by the fact it was the soldier beneath you who had just grabbed you, and the hand which had previously been lying motionless at his side now held onto you so tightly, it was painful. Your head tilted, unable to process exactly what was happening. With the bloodsbane poison flowing through his veins, the daemon was dying, and if he were dying, his body should have been lined in white. And yet, the grip on your wrist only tightened as his eyes blinked open, no glow in sight. “How are you-”

You were unable to finish your statement, cut off by a strangled cry of your own as a burst of pain erupted inside your stomach. Tilting your head towards the source, you found the other hand of the soldier holding a dagger you had yet to notice until that moment, the blade of it now fully embedded inside you.

“Oh, shit!” It was the guard who spoke a few seconds later, eyes widening as he blinked a few times and fully took in your figure before him. His grip on your wrist loosened, and he scrambled to sit up on his own as your body began to slump on you. “Who the hell are you?”

You barely made out what he was saying, the roaring in your ears masking the majority of his ramblings. And what you did hear, didn’t make much sense. You had no idea what he was talking about or how he didn’t recognize you now, but you didn’t care. Not at this moment. Not with the amount of pain you were currently in.

“Please.” Your hands clumsily fumbled with the dagger embedded in you, knowing full well you had to get it out so your body could begin to heal itself, but your hands kept slipping on the handle, too weak and coated with blood to get a proper grip on it. 

“Stop, you’re going to make it worse.” His hands stilled your movements, the two of you slowly switching positions as he supported your sinking body. “You have to leave it in for now or you’ll risk bleeding out.” His aggressive demeanor had all but slipped away, panicking over the mess his previous action had created. “Shit! I thought you were another guard who had stumbled across the body. We had no idea there were half-daemons here with them.”

“No, you’ve got… you’ve got to get… I can’t heal.” Your head was beginning to spin, having a hard time staying focused. Even without the pain that consumed you, you wouldn’t have had any idea what was going on. On how this man was moving and speaking so easily when he should have been dead, let alone what the hell he was even talking about.

“Oh, shit. Your blood.” His grip on you lessened for a moment, finally taking in the color of your blood in the pale moonlight. “You’re… you’re the daughter of that one general… The one who was sent off to the humans. The rumors must have been true; you did survive, but how?” His gaze trailed up to your face, seeing you clearly for the first time. “We’ve got to get you out of here. Before they kill you.”

“No,” you shook your head, attempting to push off the hands that wrapped their way underneath your knees and shoulders to pick you up. “You don’t-” But you couldn’t get the proper words out, interrupted by the wave of pain that rushed through you from the way he jostled your body. “Please, get it out. I can’t…”

Angel? What’s going on?

You had never been so happy to hear that voice inside your head as you did now, quickly quelling the panic that had built up inside you.

“Hongjoong.” His name was barely more than an exhale, full of the relief you felt at hearing from him and knowing you were saved. “There was-” Once again jostled by the daemon beside you, who seemed all the more panicked at the mention of the daemon king’s name, your words cut out with another gasp of pain.

Don’t worry, angel. We’re coming.

It was Seonghwa who made it to you first, and who’s arrival you weren’t even fully aware of until you saw the black dagger sticking out of his head. The daemon’s movements quickly came to a stop, eyes widening once more at the scene in front of him before slumping to the ground.

You panicked at the arms that caught you, thinking it was one of the original attackers and attempting to struggle away from him as best you could in your current state.

“Angel, it’s me.” 

“Seonghwa.” Your head whipped around in that moment, body finally relaxing when you saw who it was. You let him take you in that moment, fully relishing in the familiar warmth of his body. 

“Angel, what happened?” His gaze fell to the dagger at your stomach, eyes darkening at the blood that coated your body and you were suddenly hit with a wave of emotions from him, ranging from a deep concern for your safety and wellbeing to a raging bloodlust to make whoever it was that had hurt you pay for their crimes. “Who did this to you?”

“Please,” your eyes pleaded with him, tugging his hands towards the handle. “get it out.” You could talk about what happened later, right now all you wanted was for the pain to stop.

To your relief, he nodded, fully understanding you couldn’t heal the injury until it was out unlike the daemon before him. He wasted no time in wrapping one arm around the bottom of your shoulders to help support your body, grabbing the handle of the dagger with his other.

“On the count of three, okay?” Another wave of emotions hit you in that instance, but they were gentler this time, attempting to help calm your nerves and ease the pain that would come as he took it out. “One… two… three.”

You couldn’t control the cry that came as he ripped the dagger out, burying your head into his chest as the pain racked your body once more. Seonghwa was saying something above you, but you couldn’t quite make any of it out.

It took a moment for your body to repair itself, but the pain eventually began to subside as you were mended. You clung to Seonghwa in that moment, too consumed by the pain consuming you to care much about how close you were or how your actions might have been received. You continued to take comfort in his presence as the pain slowly left, allowing yourself to stay burrowed next to him until your breathing slowly began to even itself out.

“Angel!” At the sound of Hongjoong’s voice, you slowly pulled yourself out from Seonghwa, turning just in time to see him collapse on his knees beside you, Jongho following shortly behind him. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”  You nodded, shying away from the hands that cupped your face. Now that the pain was almost gone and you were in a better state of mind, you found yourself growing uneasy with your current state and the concern they showed you. “It’s all healed now.” And to prove your point, you lifted the edge of your shirt high enough to show the injury had been taken care of.

“What happened?” His eyes turned to the dead guard beside you, eyes darkening when he realized it was one of his own. “I thought they said we were under attack, and yet, he’s the one who hurt you? One of our own?”

“No,” you shook your head, “at least, I don’t think it was him. I’m not completely sure though, it all happened so fast.” You paused for a moment, trying to make sense of everything that had just occurred. “He was attacked, and I tried to heal him, but I failed. He died. I was certain he had died, but then…” Your words stumbled to a close, shivering as the memory of the attack flooded your mind once more. 

There had been no pulse. There had been no glow. For all extents and purposes, he should have been dead, and yet, he had moved and spoke with an ease that should have been impossible.

You slowly began to relay what had happened, starting with your reasoning for being out so late and why you had approached the daemon in the first place before moving on to the impossibility of the situation. Of how after you had believed him to be dead, he had come back to life.

“Hongjoong, you don’t think,” Seonghwa began, grip tightening against you once the story had been told in full. 

Hongjoong shook his head. “It can’t be. It’s been years since their last attack, so why would that suddenly change? The war is over.”

“Wait, who are you talking about?” Your gaze turned between the two, confused as to what they were talking about. “You know who did this?”

“During the first part of the war, there was a small militia force that would hit our smaller camps,” Jongho replied, walking over to the dead daemon and pulling out the dagger in his skull. He turned it over a few times, inspecting the blood on the blade before it dissolved in his hands. “They were the reason why Hoseok, Hongjoong’s father, had so much trouble in the beginning. Not only did we have the main force of humans to contend with, but another group proficient enough to continuously wipe out a large chunk of his camps. But when Hoseok died, the attacks stopped.”

“And you think they did this?”

“It's highly unlikely.” Hongjoong continued, pulling your attention back to him. “My father committed quite a bit of time and resources towards hunting them down, so it’s likely he found them before his own death and dealt with them himself. I’m sure it’s just a ragtag group of humans upset with the way the war ended, but you have no need to worry about it any longer. We’ll take care of it. For now, why don’t you go with Jongho. He’ll make sure a bath is drawn so you can clean yourself up and then head to bed if you so wish.”

There were a hundred questions you still wanted to ask, Hongjoong’s explanation making little sense in your mind. If it had been humans who had attacked you, why had they only shot the one soldier? And then what had happened to that solider? The actions that followed all but screamed daemon involvement, the actions that followed only possible by the magic that flowed in their veins. But if it had been the daemons, then why had he seemed so surprised to see you? And why had he been so concerned for your safety? Seemingly wanting to get you somewhere safe instead of finishing off the job he had started? 

But now was not the time to ask. Hongjoong’s statement brought awareness to your current state and the blood that covered your body. Not just your own, but the daemon’s as well, the very one you had failed to save tonight. You never did well with those who died under your care, but this one felt different, fully knowing how things might have played out differently if you had just acted a little sooner.

“And angel,” Hongjoong stopped you before you went, hand brushing against your shoulder. “Tonight was a mistake, one that we don’t plan on letting happen again, so please, forgive us for failing to do the very thing we promised.”

“There’s nothing to forgive.” You shook your head, wondering why he was pinning the blame on himself. “I was the one who went out on my own, so there was nothing you could have done. If there’s anyone to blame for what happened, it’s me. I could have gotten myself to safety, but I didn’t.” 

And what had you accomplished from it? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. The soldier had died all the same and you had nearly gotten yourself killed because of it.  Perhaps if you had acted faster. Perhaps if you hadn’t stalled so much, he would still be alive and none of this would have ever happened.

“So, don’t blame yourself, please.” You took a deep breath, wishing how things would have played out tonight if you had only done things differently. “My blood is on my own hands.” 

~

taglists will now be posted in reblogs. if you would like to be added, just let me know! best way to ensure this would be sending an ask as i might miss you otherwise :)

[ultralightpoe]

Question? - Bucky Barnes

Authors Note : I always thought this one was unfinished so I never posted it but it's gotta be released from the drafts so here it is folks.

Word Count: 5800

Warnings: mentions of murder

Requests: OPEN

Main Master list - - Midnights Event List

(Thank you for the gif @falcvns )

x Enjoy! x

I remember

- 

Therapists were no help to your situation, this much you were sure. 

They tried, they really did. But there was no answer to your grief. Your family were good people and there was no doubt in you that that’s what got them killed. But you were supposed to meet the same fate as them, the only thing that went wrong was the fact that you managed to escape after watching the Winter Soldier slaughter them. 

He had a moment of hesitation, one moment of pure eye contact as his hand inched for the knife that had been meant for you, and you had bolted. 

And though the therapist tried to help you with the trauma, but there was no understanding. You watched your entire family get slaughtered, and then years later their killer would be renamed a fucking hero. 

You were cursed with the memory of it all, scarred for life. 

And the rest of the world was not. 

It was your burden to bear. 

- 

Good girl, sad boy

Big city, wrong choices

We had one thing going on

I swear that it was something

'Cause I don't remember who I was before you

Painted all my nights

- 

He spots you the day he moves in, carrying a simple duffle bag as he tries to hide in the back of the elevator. Sam had helped him move what little belongings he had earlier in the day, and tried his best to talk to him about what little things he had in the first place.

But Bucky didn’t listen, or tried not to. Truth was he was trying his best to add more to the collection, but it was hard. There was some stuff he couldn’t shake. And there was some stuff that Sam didn’t understand, the way people looked at him. 

It was a 50/50 most of the time. Sometimes they smiled and were excited once they recognized him. Sometimes, like his last landlord, they freak out and get rid of him as fast as they can. 

His last landlord broke his lease, as fast as he could, and Bucky struggled to find another apartment. Sam and Sarah helped him, and since the landlord was breaking the lease Bucky was able to get his rent and security deposit back. Not that it mattered since he was getting paid from the government anyways. 

The elevator was beginning to fill up, an older lady with a dog on a tiny leash followed by a younger kid with his mom. He pushes himself further back into the corner, trying not to make eye contact with the mom not wanting to scare her. An older man limps in, says something flirty to the older woman before leaning against the wall. Some kid with a ragged beard wearing a colorful hoodie comes in, his eyes red and glazed, music blasting in his headphones as he nods to everyone before turning to the front. He smells of skunk as Sam would say and Bucky has to hold his breath to stop from inhaling it. His heightened senses forming a headache quickly. 

But then there was you walking in. 

Unlike the others he watches as your eyes mark everyone, then mark all exits and safety paths in sight before entering the elevator. He watches as you cross your arms, moving to press your floor before stopping and seeing it had already been pressed. 

You must know everyone in the elevator already because when the doors start closing your head snaps to take one more look, and he watches as you spot him. He immediately casts his eyes down, keeping his hands in his pockets which makes it hard to watch your reaction. But he hears you inhale before turning back to the front. 

He lifts his eyes then, only to see that you were watching him from the reflection of the doors. Clever. 

There was something familiar, what was it about you that rung through his mind. 

His heart speeding up as his eyes narrowed, through the distorted reflection he tries to recognize you. It’s right there, right there right there. If he could see your actual face then he can- 

You whirl, eyes wide and your face flushed as if you just saw a ghost right as the doors open on the third floor. It wasn’t the right floor but within a flash you are running, sprinting from the elevator and dashing for the staircase. 

He can do nothing but watch, while the others all turn to each other with odd expressions while Bucky blinks. 

It’s clear then, it wasn’t Bucky that knew you. It was the Winter Soldier. 

- 

A color I've searched for since

But one thing after another

Lost in situations, circumstances

Miscommunications and I

Have to say

By the way

I just may like some explanations

- 

It wasn’t him, it couldn’t be. It was just your imagination. 

The view from the elevator was distorted, and you couldn’t actually see him but the second he narrowed those eyes, you saw him. Him that stormy night, the small step and the way his hand reached for his knife, the notch in his brow before you bolted. 

You tore through the streets, hearing people yell as you bumped into them. Your breath was wasted and your body tight as you ran and ran and ran. 

The only reason you stop is because a loud honking sounds out and a hand is snatching you back with a yell right before you get plowed by a red car driving faster than light. 

“ARE YOU CRAZY LADY?!” Someone screeches, pulling your attention to the face yelling into yours. “You nearly got killed, stupid!”

“S-sorry.” You manage to mumble out, trying to figure out where you ran to. “Where am I?”

“Jesus christ, someone call 911!” He snaps, keeping a hand on your shoulder as people crowd around. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

You couldn’t concentrate, you could barely see. The Winter Soldier was back, and he was coming for you. 

You were in trouble. 

- 

Can I ask you a question?

Did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room

And every single one of your friends was

Making fun of you

But 15 seconds later they were clapping too?

Then what did you do?

- 

“You’re being crazy.” Someone laughs, drawing Bucky’s attention from where he sat on the couch. It had been a week since he moved in and he was still on edge with the new surroundings, every sound drew his attention. The windows were still bordered up and he made sure no one could get in. 

The tv, though it was on, was kept on silent so he could keep an ear out which is what he was doing right now when he heard it. 

“I’m not being crazy.” Another voice, one thrilling enough to make his heart speed up, sounds out with a clipped tone. Defensive and hurt. “You didn’t have to walk me up, okay?”

“Oh come on. Please don’t be mad at me-”

“I’m not mad. I get it. I can’t sleep on your couch forever.” The clipped angelic voice sounds out once more. “I just….. I could have sworn that…. I’m fine.”

The sound of a door swinging open follows before both of the voices head inside and he finds himself heading closer to the door in an attempt to hear them. It’s not like he has to try hard with the super hearing, their voices catching quickly. 

“I just think you need to keep going to therapy. I know you said-”

“I am still going to therapy, okay? The only reason I called you is because the hospital wouldn’t let me be released without someone.” The voice snaps back. “Can you just go? I already feel embarrassed. So just go.”

The door opens quickly after that and Bucky finds himself peering out the peephole of his door as you lean against the door watching the other person storm off as you stay there. Once your friend is out of sight he watches as your eyes trace over all the doors in the hall, calculating and nervous, before they land on his door and you watch for a moment. 

He doesn’t know what pulls him to do it but he opens the door, pretending to be looking as if he heard a sound. 

“You hear something?” He asks, still pretending to look. He hears you inhale sharply and finally he looks up to see your eyes on his arm, tears welling up as you freeze there. “I…. um.”

What could he say? What could he say to someone he had obviously wronged but doesn’t remember it? How could he make it better?

“I’m sorry.” Good way to start. “Whatever happened I am sorry. But it’s important to know that I…. I have been cleared of-”

That snaps you out of the daze as you push back into your apartment and slam the door quickly. 

Shit. 

- 

Did you leave her house in the middle of the night?

Did you wish you'd put up more of a fight?

When she said it was too much?

Do you wish you could still touch ...her?

It's just a question

- 

A sound had woken you up from your dreams, pulling you from the deep sleep quickly and sending every bolt of fear through you.  There had been a loud bang, and you pulled from the princess sheets your mom had gotten you for your birthday, the face of snow white staring back at you as you leaned across Belle’s face to look out the window. 

A strike of lightning has you shrieking out, dashing from the bed in a your alien pajamas as you run across the hallway to your parents room, barging through the door to climb onto their bed and find your mother. They were normally in bed by now, but you were shocked to see that neither of them were there. 

So you jumped up at another strike of lightning, crying softly before running down the hall to see if they were in the living room where your sister often watched her cartoons. 

You didn’t think anything when you slipped in the red liquid by your brother's door, and you missed the red handprint swiped by the wall next to your sister's door. 

When you spot your moms figure on the couch you let the sobs free as you run to her side and force yourself under her arm to cuddle her. She doesn’t hug back, and this pulls another sob as you look up to see a red slash across her neck, reaching a hand up in the dim lighting to see pull at the necklace. 

Only there is no necklace and you soon realize it’s a cut across her neck, your hand coming back bloody and warm. A loud scream pulls from you as you stand up, looking around for you dad sti screaming your lungs out. 

That’s when you see him, slashing across your fathers throat quickly before turning to you, his blue eyes narrowing in on you right as you move. 

He takes one step forward, but then grunts as if in pain, like he was fighting himself as he stared at her. His hand reaches for the knife strapped to his thigh and like a bolt you dash out, the rain hitting you as you scream and run anywhere you can. 

- 

Half-moon eyes, bad surprise

Did you realize, out of time

She was on your mind

With some meathead guy

That you saw that night

But you were on something

- 

“Her family used to take in strays apparently, and had a safehouse filled with kids escaping Hydra. Dad was a scientist, and knew how to get all the kids out until Hydra caught them. Sent the Winter Soldier not long after.” Sam reads out as Bucky walks with him across the pads of the gym, keeping his eyes trained for the person they were here to look for. 

“Figured that much.” He sighs out, remembering the way you looked at him. “What are the chances I end up across the hall from her?” 

“Not high. Fate or something.” Sam sighs, closing the phone before he spots the figure. “What are you planning on doing?”

“I can’t lose another place to live, and I doubt she can either. If she’s scared there is a reason so I have to find a way to fix it. Which would be better if I knew what I did.” Before Sam could ask anything else they are upon their target, giving him hard eyes. 

“Captain Black America.” The man grunts, a smug smirk playing at his lips as he lifts more weights. “How ya doing?”

“Cut the crap.” Bucky snaps, clenching his fists. “We have some questions.”

- 

It was one drink after another

Caught in politics and gender-roles

And you're not sure and I don't know

Got swept away in the gray

I just may like to have a conversation

- 

You didn’t know what to do, you were stuck. 

Breaking the lease would screw you over, you couldn’t hide at your friends places forever and you couldn’t stay in your apartment forever.  The Winter Soldier lived across the hall from you. The man that slaughtered your family lived across from you. The only correct solution you could come to? Getting black out drunk.

Somehow you ended up in your apartment building,  blinking at the elevator buttons as you lean your head against the wall in an attempt to stabilize yourself. 

“Now what are you doing out so late missy? Work keep you again?” The voice of Mrs. Day sounds out, a small touch on your shoulder as she and another figure enter the elevator. You couldn’t concentrate on either of them. 

“I…. wenf ou…. The bwar… bwar… ber.. I went-tt to the b-” At some point you give up, eyebrows pinching together as you point to the buttons on the elevator. You miss your button, sliding down the wall. 

A hand shoots out to catch you before you hit too hard, making sure you land softly before pressing the level you needed. 

“Oh dear, back in my day girls never went to the bar.” 

“Screw you Mrs. Day.” You blurt quickly before you realize what you said and your hand slaps over your mouth. A deep chuckle sounds out as you shake your head. “No. I didn’t say that.”

“She didn’t.” Someone mumbles. “It was someone else.”

“It was someone else.” You agree. 

The elevator dings and the old woman scurries off as you close your eyes and lean against the wall. “I’m gonna sleep here.” 

“You okay?”

“I’m gonna sleep here. This is where I sleep now.” You slur out, waving your hand around with your eyes still closed as the elevator closes again and you lay back down. You actually manage to haze out a bit before a ding sounds out again and someone puts their hands under your shoulders and lifts you easily. 

“I live on the 5th- go to bed.” 

“Okay. I gotcha.” The voice huffs out a laugh, carrying you easily before they get to a familiar door. “You gotta key?” 

“Nooooo.” You giggle, opening your eyes a little wider. “It’s unlocked.”

“No, it isn’t. You sure you don’t have a key?” 

“No key. Call me if you need let in and I’ll be there, okay?” You mumble, pulling out your phone and lifting it to your ear. “I’m on my way to unlock the-”

But before you can finish your sentence a wave of nausea hits you, you lurch forward quickly and hit your forehead on the door harshly, sliding down the wall and onto the floor below. 

“Okay. Okay. Take it easy.” The deep voice hums out, and you are lifted once more before they walk across the hall and unlock their own door easily. 

You are wrapped with the deep scent of a calming earthen scent, with a bit of a licorice scent that makes you giggle out. “Licorishhhhh.”

“I’m gonna set you down on the couch, okay?” 

“I love licorice. Just so you know.” You continue before being set down, without question you curl up on the couch in a small ball. 

“There is a glass of water by you and a trash can. But the bathroom is down the hall. Okay?”

“Is it raining?”

“Yeah, just started.”

“I don’t like when it rains.” You whisper out, a blanket put over you gently before you pass out fully. 

- 

Can I ask you a question?

Did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room

And every single one of your friends was

Making fun of you

But 15 seconds later they were clapping too?

- 

Bucky was torn between hiding out in his room until he heard you wake up and run, but the other half of him wanted to keep camped out in the main window area to make sure you were okay. From the spot you had passed out on the couch it was the perfect vantage point for any sniper, even with the newspaper he had. 

So, after hours of deliberation, he ended up on the floor by the windows, facing you as he slept on the floor.  The surprise came when he himself passed out, on the floor by the windows. 

He slept without a single nightmare, the image of your drunken smile keeping him sated. 

He only wakes up when the sound of feet padding across the floor sounds out, sitting up quickly right as he hears your body crash onto the bathroom floor before you retch into the toilet. A grimace pulling at his face as he tries to zone it out before shuffling around and standing to trudge to the kitchen. 

He starts a pot of coffee, grabbing a couple eggs from the fridge and shuffling to the stove. Making as much noise as he can when you come waddling out, your head twisting around the corner with wide eyes as he turns to attempt a smile. 

Your face falls slack and you turn quickly. 

“Wait! Wait. Just take a second.” He rushes, holding out both his hands as you dash to grab something to hold over your head. “Please don’t throw that.”

“I’ll scream! If you’re here to kill me I’ll scream!” You rush out, stepping back, tripping over the blanket that he had thrown over you last night and nearly falling back. 

“I could have killed you last night and I didn-” He stops short as he realizes that is a terrible point to make. “Okay. Hold on, wait. Just- I can make you eggs and or coffee. Or both, you don’t have to choose. You can have both. Anything you want.”

“Why am I here?!”

“You.. you were drunk and didn’t have a key okay?”

“It’s under my door mat- WHY AM I TELLING YOU THAT?!” You blanch, stepping back again. “What is this thing? It’s weird.”

“It’s an old radio….. I stole it.”

“You stole it?”

“I stole it.”

“From where?” 

“The….. my exhibit at the…. It was mine so technically I didn’t steal it and just took it back. It’s fair.” He can’t fight the heat filling his body as you take a look around, mouth falling open as you finally take everything in. “My sister gave it to me for my birthday the year before…”

“My sister got me a radio once.” You mumble. “Well it was this princess cd player thing that played the soundtracks of princess movies. I wore down the mulan cd so much that my dad pretended to sit on it and break it because he couldn’t handle hearing the skip in the songs anymore.”

“Was your sister here the other day?”

“What? No.” You huff and he feels his chest loosen up a little bit when you seem to relax. “My sister is gone. My whole family is…..”

And just like that he watches your eyes harden again, your spine tensing as you glare. “So I got drunk and you brought me here.”

“Yes.”

“And you slept in the same room?” 

“That’s where I always sleep. It’s… the best spot to hide from snipers and it’s in the corner so no one can sneak up on me.” He answers. “I wanted to make sure you didn’t choke on your puke too. Do you want eggs?”

- 

Then what did you do?

Did you leave her house in the middle of the night?

Did you wish you put up more of a fight

When she said it was too much?

Do you wish you could still touch ...her?

It's just a question

- 

If someone had told the seven year old you that you would be sitting across from the Winter Soldier on his dining room floor eating scrambled eggs and chugging straight coffee as you both played a round of 20 questions.  

“I’m sorry, who drinks straight coffee? No sugar or milk or- this is bad.”

“You want to waste your question on that? You sure?” He asks, leaning to pour you more coffee. 

“No! No. I…. why did you steal the radio back?”

“Because it was the last thing my sister gave me. And I just found out she died in a nursing home…. alone .” He shrugs, scratching at his forehead. “And…. it’s mine. They are displaying my stuff in a museum.”

“Must feel a little weird.” You nod. “They are actually displaying a gun you used in the smithsonian, the JFK shooting.”

“That’s not me. Well it is but….”

“Can I ask…. about…… “ You want to ask, so desperately, but you don’t want to piss him off. Not to mention that you hated when people asked you about your past. 

“I don’t really want to…. “ He mumbles. “But I think that you must have questions and I do owe you answers.”

“Do you remember everything?”

“No. Not at all. Which might sound cowardly when I say I’m thankful for that. They kept me in their trance.” He answers, moving to give you more eggs before you shake your head. “I…uhm - well when I moved in and you recognized me I searched you up. The person who… for lack of better term the person who used me for the task, well I got them arrested when I got out. He was the 4th person on my list.”

“Have….” You go to ask another question about his years as the soldier before you see the look in his eyes, the nervous energy leeching off of him. So you switch, giving him a break. “You ever been to rome?”

“No. Have you?” He asks back, a look of relief on his face. 

“No. But I always wanted to. There is this exhibit at the museum wh- shit. I gotta go.”  You realize, moving to snatch your purse. “Oh my god I have work. I’m sorry for leaving a mess. Thank you for….”

You stop short, realizing you are thanking the man that killed your family, blinking slowly as a wave of guilt washes over you. What would they say? They would be so disappointed in you. 

“I have to go.” He doesn’t say anything as you dash out. 

- 

Does it feel like everything's just like second-best after that

Meteor strike?

And what's that, that I heard, that you're still with her

That's nice, I'm sure that's what's suitable

And right

But tonight..

- 

The building you work in looked more like a morgue in Bucky’s humble opinion, but he tried to get that image out of his head as he walked through the front door. 

He didn’t know why he was here, but for some reason he was drawn to you, and he just wanted to be near you. The game of questions you had played this morning had been…. Fun. He learned a lot about you. He now knows your favorite color, dream vacation destination spot, your weird dreams about the titanic. 

“Good morning, do you have your badge?” The front desk asks, smiling at him. 

“Oh… uh no. Sorry.  I don’t work here.” He blushes, coming up to the desk. “My friend does.”

That was a blatant lie, he was sure you would not consider him a friend but he was gonna give it a shot. But a moment of fear passes through him that she might recognize the lie. 

“No problem. Can I see you I.D. and the name of the person you’re here to see?” She hums out and he nods, pulling out his I.D. and muttering your name. 

“Oh! You are here for her! She is the best. The only one that wishes me good morning and actually shows me her badge.” The girl gushes, moving to the phone and dialing an extension. “Hey this is Maya from the front desk. You have a visitor here… yes…. James Barnes?”

Her eyes widen for a second and she turns back to Bucky. “She doesn’t recognize the name-”

“Try Bucky Barnes.”

“Okay, Bucky Barnes.” She smiles through the phone and then nods before hanging up. “She will be down in one moment.”

“Great. Thanks.”  He attempts an easy smile even though his stomach is in waves, trying to even out his jacket as he waits for you to come down. His chest clenched in a panic as he tries to calm himself down, taking a deep breath and keeping his metal hand in his pocket so the receptionist doesn’t see it from where she is still staring at him from her desk. 

“How long have you worked here?” He asks after a moment, trying to release some of the awkward tension in the room. 

“Three years. I was a temp for the first couple months but now I am full time.” She explains, fixing her hair nervously. “So are you two dating? Because, not to be weird or anything, you two would be so cute.”

“Oh, no we just live in the same-”

“And she is just so nice. And you seem nice too so-” Before she can keep going in you appear from the elevators with wide eyes, your badge swinging from side to side as you march towards him. 

“Hi Maya.” You mumble out at the last second, shooting her a quick smile which makes the girl beam. Before she can say her reply you are turning back to him with those same wide eyes and snatching his elbow to lead him outside. 

“Are you crazy? Do you know how many pr people are in this building and will send a bunch of paps after you.” You snap, blinking up at him as he tries to come up with a decent reason as to why he is here. 

“I… okay well I figured you would need to leave for lunch so I came to get lunch with you.”

“If you forget about the fact that it involved a little bit of stalking then that would be nice.” You huff, shaking your head from side to side before shrugging. “I get to pick.”

“You know the area best.”

“I get to ask questions.”

“Sure. “ He answers, though he begins to get nervous, his mouth going dry. If you kept looking at him with those eyes he would answer anything, no matter what. 

“Awesome, starting with the big questions.” You smile, leading him down the sidewalk as he clears his throat to try and remain cool. “How long does it take you to clean the arm?”

Relief washes through him as he follows your lead down the street, smiling a bit. 

- 

Can I ask you a question?

Did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room

And every single one of your friends was

Making fun of you

But fifteen seconds later they were clapping too?

- 

You had no clue what you were doing, guilt and shame coated your every move as you walked with Bucky through the market, watching a mix of people turn to glare or smile at him. 

It was weird, weeks ago you would have been one to glare, hell you had glared at him through your tv hundreds of times. And here you were, walking beside him like you were the closest friends in the world as he searched for plums. 

Your days were spent questioning each other, all light stuff when the sun was out. If you were born in any other century what would it be? Do you think you’re more of a sunshine or moonlight person? 

Then when the sun goes down the questions turn deep. You learned about his memories as the Winter Soldier, you came clean about that night in your memories. 

You were betraying your family, by falling for this man you were betraying your family. It was the one thing that had been bothering you for the past 3 weeks. 

Like right now, when the biggest urge you were fighting was to grab his hand and hold onto it as you both moved to avoid bumping into people, your palm sweating as he sent a quick look your way to make sure you’re okay before moving to a stall that had plums. 

“Are you okay today?” He asks, feeling around for the perfect plum as you pick up the jars of honey not too far off. 

“Yeah. I’m fine.” You lie, setting the jar down and moving towards him to avoid talking to the worker, your hand catching on his lower back before you snatch it back. “How many plums do you need?”

“I. Like. Plums.” He scoffs. “Would you rather be a bee or a flower?”

“Flower, 100 percent.”

“That was….. A really quick answer.” He smiles, paying the stall worker before, leading you both away. “I would want to be a bee.”

“You would be a bitch of a bee. You would not last a day as a bee.” 

“I’m sorry?!” 

“Not a day.” You laugh, throwing the bag you had been carrying around over your shoulder as he looks a little closer at you. 

“You want to tell me what’s been bothering you?”

“You ever feel guilty… for like you family?” You blurt, eyes welling up. “Like you’re disappointing them?”

“Because you’re friends with me?” He asks, his voice tight. 

“Are we friends?” You blurt, it’s not meant to come out that way, but it’s the first time you’ve heard him reference you both as friends. But the second his face falls you realize your mistake. “Wait, I didn’t mean it like- wait.”

“It’s fine. I’ve got it.” He snaps out, keeping his eyes away from you. “I’ll see you later.”

“Wait. No. Okay just give me a chance to explain here.” You rush out, trying to stop him from walking away. “This has been a big adjustment, weeks ago I hated you. Okay? You killed my family so I’m sorry that this was-”

Someone bumps up into him from behind, and you have to take a step back to avoid hitting him, his eyes narrow at the movement as you blink at him. His lips curl as his head tilts, and he blinks. 

“I… I remember you.” He whispers, hands clenching. “You were wearing alien pajamas.”

“You remember?” 

“I…” And it was a remake of that night, you both staring at each other with his eyes narrowed and you getting ready to bolt. He looked green. 

And then he bolts, dashing from you so quickly you barely have time to blink. 

- 

Then what did you do?

Did you leave her house in the middle of the night?

Did you wish you put up more of a fight?

When she said it was too much?

Do you wish you could still touch ...her?

It's just a question

- 

He couldn’t breathe, something was bursting in his chest and it was painful, so fucking painful. 

He knew you, that hatred and fear in your eyes brought everything back. The night, when you were just a child and he had….. He had… He was going to pass out. 

His door slammed into the wall so hard it left a dent in the plaster before he slammed it shut again and dashed to his room to snatch his duffel. He needed to go, he needed to leave. Find somewhere else to be, anywhere away from you.  

He was a monster. 

He hears the door swing open, your footsteps following and you come into view soon after, your eyes wide as he continues packing. 

“Bucky. I’m sorry.” He breathes out, snatching a shirt before you come into view and snatching the shirt before it can hit the duffle bag. “Please, just give me a chance. Buck, I am sorry.”

“No. I’m sorry.” He grounds out, moving to grab something else. “I’m sorry.”

“Buck.” You try again, moving to grab his shoulders to stop him. 

“Don’t. Please don’t.” 

“Bucky, come on.” You snap, wrapping your arms around him to get him to stop. “Please don’t. Can we just talk about this. We can figure this out.” 

“I…. I can’t.”

“20 questions. Let’s play 20 questions.” You rush out. 

“No, let’s not. No more questions. We’re done here.��� 

“No we’re not.” You snap out, wrapping your legs around his like a koala so he would stop trying to run away. “Would you rather be a tie or a bra?”

“I’m sorry?” “A bear or a tiger?”

“That is terrible. A bra, and a bear.” He huffs, trying not to look at you. 

“20 questions. You can’t leave now that we’ve started the game.” You mumble, staring up at him with wide eyes. 

“That’s the dumbest thing I have ever hear-” He stops when you lean up to press your lips to his softly, your eyes closing as his entire body tenses for a moment before completely melting into it, his hands moving to thread through your hair. 

You moan when he deepens the kiss and his heart just about stops before he tears away. “I never thought….”

“Neither did I.”

- 

You play 20 questions every night, sitting together on your shared living room floor, with whatever show he wanted to catch up on playing in the background. 

He plays with your hair from where your head lays on his chest, humming softly. 

“Would you rather be a plum or a grape?” You whisper, fingers tracing a pattern on his pajama pants. 

“Plum.” He answers quickly, tugging your ear which makes you gasp. 

“I was so close to falling asleep.” You groan, slapping his hand away. “You are such a pain in my ass.” 

“But you love me.”

“That I do.” You hum, moving to sit up. “Your question.”

“Would you….. Will you….” He clears his throat, sitting up straight as you give him a weird look. “Will you marry me?”

[lvlystars]

goodbye — m.sn

pairing. minatozaki sana x gn!reader

genre. angsty :(

summary. how long did you think you can keep this from her?

warnings. reader's really bad at handling the relationship, alcohol consumption

wc. 2.8k

glass was shattered everywhere on the ground. the furniture around the apartment was thrown around, and the two of you were on opposite sides of the room. sana was sitting on the floor, her head leaning on her knees that were closed in on her chest. you were standing near the balcony, the glass of wine in your hand hanging off your fingers lightly, half empty.

it was no use, holding onto this entangled mess of a relationship.

“i’m, uh…gonna take a walk. outside.” you stay silent, pursing your lips as you hear the shuffling of her footsteps. slow, forced, dragged. the front door opens, then closes. you sigh, brushing your hand through your hair, your brain racking over what had just happened. the hurt and hatred you saw in sana’s eyes as you remembered what had gone down in this room burned your thoughts. your heart aching at how badly you had hurt her.

but then again, you willingly did it. it was your own choice. it’s all your fault.

“who is she.” sana speaks up. you hummed in response, confused at the sudden question. you looked up to look into her bloodshot eyes.

your heart leaps into your throat when you see the polaroid in her hand. the solid evidence of what you’ve been doing behind her back.

you cheated on her.

in the polaroid, your lips were pressed on the brunette’s, and you were smiling into it too. your hands laid on her hips, pulling her closer to you as her arms were draped over your shoulders.

“she clearly isn’t me, y/n. who is this?” sana croaks out, tears filling her eyes. you were at a loss for words. how were you supposed to get out of this? how were you supposed to explain yourself? tell her what you’ve been doing?

you open and close your mouth, unable to find the words to say. you couldn’t think of anything, so you stayed silent.

“i need an explanation, y/n! anything! don’t just stay quiet!” she sobs, and you wince. you can hear the hurt in her voice, the distress you had caused her was etched in her angelic face, and knowing how she was, you knew that she wouldn’t get over this well.

you move forward, in an attempt to hold her down and explain yourself, but she immediately takes a step back from you. from that second you knew. you knew where this conversation was going to end up, and it wasn’t going to be with you both happily cuddling, which made your insides twist up in regret.

you sit yourself down on the couch, leaning your head back as you groan, closing your eyes in an attempt to rid yourself of the growing headache that was making itself evident with each ticking second. you massage your temples, but as always, it doesn’t work.

if sana were here, she’d whine about how you’re always overworking yourself, and complain about how you’d never take care of yourself and never get rest. despite the constant pestering, she’d always whip out the hot and cold compresses, ensure you had tylenol and tuck you away to sleep. but alas, the said person isn’t in the room right now, so you just wallow up in your pitiful sorrows and battle the headache on your own.

why did you even cheat? ah, the million-dollar question. why.

you don’t even know how it started, but it just did. that girl came into your life, made you feel things that even sana didn’t make you feel, and you were immediately addicted. again and again, you kept going back to her during the day, then came back home to your girlfriend. days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. 5 of them.

of course, you felt guilty. the guilt ate you up at night when you felt sana cuddle into your side. knowing what you were doing behind her back killed you, but you couldn’t stop yourself. the girl was just too good to lose. and so, you held onto her. you kept her as your secret link.

as long as sana didn’t know, you wouldn’t hurt her, right?

but one night, the girl invited you to her birthday party, and of course, you couldn’t refuse. but how did you manage with sana?

easy. you lied.

“why you dressed up?” sana asks, making you jump as you scramble around the room to find your best shoes.

“uhm, it’s…a party! one of my…coworkers got promoted. so we, uh, celebrating!” sana then pouts, walking into the room and starts adjusting the small things in your outfit, and you sigh, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

“i’m sorry, baby. it’s employees only. i would bring you if i could, but the company’s strict.” you kiss her forehead, making her smile before tapping her own lips. you chuckle lightly before pecking her lips and walking out the door to your shared bedroom.

“your shoes are on the rack, by the way!” sana calls out, and you yell back a thank you before hastily slipping on the shoes and bolting out the door.

you feel your phone vibrate. you immediately pull out your phone, and your breath hitches at the caller ID.

“h-”

“FUCK YOU!” you were taken aback at her harsh tone, and you stayed silent, seeing if she would say anything else.

“i…trusted you! i…believed you! was i not…a good enough…partner? friend? person?” you can tell that sana was drunk through the way her speech was a little slurred and mumbled, and it pained you to realize that she had turned to drinking to make her pain go away.

you decided to stay quiet again, knowing that she wouldn’t register whatever you said right now. her memory was terrible when she drinks. that’s how you both ended up together in the first place.

tears sting your eyes when you hear sana’s soft cries over the phone, and you wanted to apologize. you wanted to apologize to her over and over again. you wanted to hold her close to you and stroke her soft hair as she falls asleep in your arms, hoping that you both would wake up tomorrow morning, still happy together.

“i hate you! i hate you so much, y/n. i hate you for making me feel like this. i hate you for making me feel so…worthless. used. it…it hurts! my heart hurts so much!” you bite your lip in an attempt to hold back your own sobs, closing your eyes as tears rolled down your cheeks. sana continues to ramble on, and you cut the call, unable to listen to her whines. you wanted to beat yourself up so badly for what you had done. after a few minutes of crying to yourself, you finally decide to get up and wipe your tears. you grab the keys to your apartment lying down on the coffee table and rush out of the apartment, knowing full well where she is.

as you feel the crisp winds of october dry away your tears, you are suddenly flooded with all the walks and small talks you both spent together, hand-in-hand in the most ungodly hours. usually, you’d have those kinds of nights after you both had sex. it was just…calming. but now that it was just you walking alone, it felt somewhat empty. insipid.

soon, you reached the entrance of the bar you both always went to after a long week. as you entered, you saw the waitress, who seemed to recognize you, and she motions towards the back of the empty bar, where you noticed a familiar head of black hair lying down on the table, sound asleep. tears sting your eyes as you walked closer to her, knowing that she was in this state because of you. that she was hurting to this point because of your selfishness.

you muster up the courage to shake her, trying to wake sana up, but she doesn’t seem to respond. you notice her beeping phone beside her, the caller ID reading “my sweetheart”. she fell asleep as she was yelling at you. typical sana.

you sigh out as you lift her into your arms, opting to just carry her on your back the entire way home.

“hey, i can drive you both to your place?” you look up to see the waitress from before standing in front of you.

“i’d appreciate that.”

—

you sigh and look down at your lap. sana was still sleeping, her soft snores filling up the car as her chest rose and fell. you couldn’t help but choke up at the thought of leaving her. she was like your world. you’d sacrifice a ton for over. fuck, you’d even take your life to save hers. you wanted to beat yourself up for cheating on her, let alone even thinking about cheating.

“our apartment’s right there.” you point out, and the waitress, whose you learned that her name was chaeyeon, nods before pulling into the main entrance of your building.

“you know, she seemed pretty hurt over something. you guys fought?” chaeyeon asks, helping you carry sana out of the car. you look down, feeling guilty and embarrassed about the reason behind sana’s state.

“i, uh, cheated on her. and she found out.” chaeyeon’s face just shows that she’s disappointed, and you just look away in shame before walking forward towards the elevator, pushing the ‘up’ button and stepping back.

“listen, i don’t know anything about your guys’ relationship, but seeing how fucked up she was at the bar, you probably hurt her really bad.” you can practically hear the disappointment in her tone, making you smile bitterly.

“i don’t think she’ll even forgive you for it. like, if you do end up staying with her despite what you’ve done, your relationship will never be the same. it will probably feel forced.” chaeyeon reasons as the elevator door opens. you sigh out, nodding in agreement as you walk and press the button for your floor.

“i hate to say this but the best and only option for you both is to break up.” you suck in a sharp breath, trying to deny reality, but she was right. the only best option for the both of you to heal and become happy again was to split. staying together would just cause the both of you pain, there weren’t going to be any more happy moments. only little conversations that would feel forced and empty.

tears stung your eyes when you looked down at sana, who was still asleep, and you sniffled, hastily wiping your tears away. the elevator dings, signaling that you were on your floor, and you let chaeyeon know that you can take care of it from there. you bid her goodbye before she leaves, leaving you alone with sana.

grunting as you pushed the door open, you tried to quietly bring sana in, trying not to wake the poor girl up. once you made it through the door, you tried to hold up sana in front of you, but instead, the girl flops into your chest, sighing happily as she wraps her arms around your waist, mumbling about you being ‘a very nice pillow’. you chuckle bitterly, holding her up once again before you lift her and carry her to your shared bedroom despite her small whiny protests at putting her down.

finally, after some time, you managed to tuck her in bed, and instead of crawling into bed beside her like you normally do, you make your way towards the guest bedroom with all your night clothes and belongings. no matter how badly you wanted to sleep beside her, you knew that eventually, when she’s sober again, she’d break down once again and end up in the same state as she is now.

once you finally freshen up, you tuck yourself into bed, the headache still evident as you look over at the clock beside the bed, reading 03:45. you just simply sigh as you look up at the ceiling, waiting for the exhaustion to hit you so you can just sleep for the rest of the night, but it never does. your mind is still racing, unable to calm down from everything that is going on around you. so much had happened in one night, you wanted to just disappear off the face of the earth for at least 1 day to just get a grip on yourself.

you toss and turn, the minutes dragging along slowly through the night as you shut your eyes closed, trying to avoid the annoying buzz in your ears. trying everything you could, you were on the verge of just bursting into tears. you just wanted to curl into a ball and just quietly cry to yourself until the sun rises. you couldn’t go to your room, sana was sleeping, and you doubt she would love to wake up to you sleeping beside her, let alone be present in the room with her, after what had happened between the two of you.

listening to the soft traffic below your apartment, you feel yourself slowly feeling drowsy, the darkness around the room blending in with the darkness behind your eyelids as you slowly blink, nodding off to sleep.

—

you feel the sun from the outside shine on you, making you cover your eyes as you adjust to the brightness of the room. slowly getting up, you look over to the clock on the nightstand beside the bed, reading ‘9:20’.

the smell of brewing coffee hits your nose as you get out of bed, walking to the kitchen to grab a cup to wake you up for the day. grudgingly dragging your feet across the hall, you smile as the smell of the caffeinated drink grows stronger, the scent waking you up alone.

once you enter the kitchen, though, you walk into an empty kitchen, the coffee done with the cup having a small sticky note on it.

something in the pit of your stomach tells you to go over and check your bedroom, and so you do. you immediately rush over to your room and fling the door open, your heart sinking when you see a nicely made bed, not a trace of anyone sleeping in it.

you feel your heartbeat quicken as you walk over to your shared closet, hoping it wasn’t what you thought, but to your dismay, you entered the walk-in to see one half filled with your clothes alone, and the other half completely empty.

no.

tears sting your eyes as you rush out of your room, running over to the now slightly cooled down coffee waiting at your countertop, the sticky note still stuck to the cup.

you grab the sticky note, not caring if the coffee was going cold as you tried to slow down your breathing, unfolding the piece of paper and immediately noticing the tear stains on the paper. gathering your thoughts, you finally bring yourself to read the letter.

hi y/n.

i guess you could tell by the silence of the apartment that i left.

i’ll just get straight to the point because i have to leave as soon as i write this note.

despite the pounding headache this morning, i managed to think it through and i’ve come to a decision.

i’m breaking up with you.

you hurt me. badly. owning up to your mistakes is one thing. maybe i would’ve talked it out with you.

but the way you just stayed completely silent as i kept asking you? i couldn’t bring myself to stay with you any longer. it hurt me, y/n. it hurts that you didn’t try to explain yourself, because in my eyes, you seemed like you wanted to let me go. you didn’t care if i left or not. it was as if you stopped loving me. long ago.

all the sweet nothings you used to whisper in my ear, were they really coming from your heart? when you hugged me every morning as i made coffee for the both of us, was that all for show? when you kissed me so passionately, with so, so, so much affection and love, were you really thinking of me? or were you thinking of her?

all those precious little moments i held dear to my heart. all those little actions that i adored about you, did you really have me on your mind? or was i that brunette in your eyes? did you really see me as minatozaki sana, or that bitch from your workplace that you cheated on me with for 5 fucking months?

i took anything that was mine in the apartment, so don’t worry about my scent lingering around the space, or contacting me about anything left in the place.

i also will be changing my number, so you don’t have to worry about ‘accidentally’ butt dialling me and talking with me for 4 hours straight while i’m at work.

that’s it from me, i guess. thank you for being apart of my life, and thank you for helping me learn a lesson from this relationship.

goodbye, y/n.

tags 🏷️ –

@star1117-archives @kyeomyun @seonghwas-lighter @jaehunnyy @leo-seonghwa

networks 🔗 –

@preciousillusions-net @cacaokpop-fics @k-labels

TDNG WORKS

send an ask or drop a comment if you want to be added to my general taglist!

ⓒ lvlystars

[baurbiediv]

lose you to love me

genre: angst

pairing: ex husband!jack harlow x reader

* please read ‘best thing i never had’ before reading this or the storyline will not make sense!

* italics are flashbacks

-

730 days since you’d last seen him.

730 days since what was supposed to be that special and happiest day of your life.

that night changed the entire course of your life, you thought that it would only have a lingering effect on for only a short amount of time.

seconds turned into minutes, minutes turned into hours, and hours turned into days.

this was difficult, no one ever told you that the healing process would be easy.

day by day, you found yourself reminiscing on every single moment you shared with him.

truth be told, you did miss him. every single thing about him. from the way he cared for you, to the endless amount of love and care he provided you but it was just too much to handle.

looking down at him, jack’s head laid against your stomach while his cheek was smushed against it as well, meanwhile the rest of his body was in between your legs.

jack has been having one of the most difficult weeks in his life and all he wanted was to be with you. he let out a sigh as you ran your nails up and down his arms and back.

just the silence and listening to each other’s breathing. for a small moment, the world stopped and it was just y/n & jack, nothing more. “i love you y/n.” he mumbled out almost silently.

it took you back, never in your life had you reached a point in a relationship where your significant other told you they loved you. you were usually the one to say it first. “i love you too jack.” you smiled down at him, he couldn’t see it but the sparkle of love your eyes was just enough.

now you occasionally found yourself just trying to pick up the remnants of your still, broken heart.

any and every mere thing reminded of you of jack.

trying to close a chapter in your life like this isn’t something that’s supposed to hurt this bad.

you needed your other half and he wasn’t even here with or even for you.

why did this have to be something you were forced to go through on your own? why wasn’t jack hurting as bad as you were?

after all, he was the cause of this. you were hurting like this because you loved him, he was the man of your dreams and he was gone.

-

now everywhere you went, you saw his face. no matter what you were doing he was everywhere. since the blow up of his recent album, come home the kids miss you. you’ve been seeing him more now than ever.

you sat across from jack as the both of you had managed to pull an all nighter.

at this point in time you were starting to get slap happy and getting very delirious.

jack was laughing at every little thing you were doing and you couldn’t understand why. “jack, have you ever thought about having kids?” you asked him as you sat next to him while your head laid on his shoulder.

there was a small silence that fell in between you two. “i’ve always thought about being a dad. the idea of 8 daughters running around has always been a thought of mine.” he said nonchalantly.

you quickly lifted your head and looked at him like he was crazy, did he just say 8 daughters?

you tilted your head and closed your eyes momentarily before opening them again and looking at him again.

“did you say eight?” you questioned, trying to reassure yourself of what was said and he just nodded.

“it’s normal!”

“no that’s manic jack.”

you sighed and covered your eyes to get rid of the incoming headache and the tears that had been threatening to fall out of your eyes.

to say that you missed the love your life was a definite understatement. you felt like you couldn’t life without him, but by the looks of it he seemed to be perfectly fine without you.

in your eyes all those years with him and meant nothing. when you fell in love, you fell in love hard. maybe this was single-handedly the best thing that you could’ve done for yourself.

-

may 16th, 2022.

the first time since jack had seen you since you called off the wedding was may 16th 2022.

you were sitting in a small coffee shop with your head buried into your laptop, typing away on a paper you had due for class in the next few days.

you’d had the half of mind to even notice jack who was waiting to order his drink. urban watched his best friend as he stared off into your direction.

“is that .. her?” urban quietly asked as jack couldn’t seem to move his feet. he was frozen in place, the only thing that jack managed to do was nod in response to urban’s question.

truth be told, urban had never seen jack so still and quiet in his entire life of them being friends.

seeing you for the first time again had elicited a spark inside of jack that words were never going to be enough to describe what he was feeling.

he wanted so badly to go up and hug you and tell you how sorry he felt and stupid he felt for treating you the way he did on your wedding day.

urban looked at you as well, he missed when the three of you were all together and up to absolutely no good, he couldn’t lie, when you left he was heartbroken too.

of course he should’ve ran after to you and said something, but there was something holding him back that prevented him from doing that exact thing.

“next in line!” the barista yelled loud enough to snap jack and urban out of their thoughts. they both proceeded to order their drinks and take a place across the room.

what were the odds of them showing up at the same coffee shop. “it’s now or never, jack you either talk to her or let her slip away again. if you wanna make this right, go say something.” urban told him as best as he could.

jack’s feet were grounded to the floor but his heart was craving you. before he could make his next move, he watched as you packed his everything up and made your way out the coffee shop.

for a second he thought, there goes his one chance. urban pushed his best friend out the seat, “just go! i got the drinks.” he mumbled and watched as jack got up and ran out of the shop.

he moved his body through the semi large crowd of people who just seemed to be out this day which made him feel like he was in some kind of cliché romance movie.

he eventually caught up to you at a crosswalk. he gently grabbed your arm and pulled you out of the way so he could talk to you. “what the f -“ your mind didn’t register anything you were saying until you were able to be fully aware of the person who was grabbing your own arm.

you froze as your eyes examined his entire being. your heart was beating a mile a minute and you couldn’t process anything that was happening. “n-no i c-can’t speak to you r-right now, not again.” your voice was quiet and sounded very fragile.

nothing was making sense and your eyes began to water horribly, you pulled your arm and walked away in the other direction. you weren’t being dramatic, not in any way. you were obligated to feel how you were feeling right now. 2 years, with no apology, no nothing.

why was he able to come back into your life like it was nothing.

-

part 3 coming soon

[flashfuture]

Just throwing out some predictions now for 2024 as plots develop. Guesses as of Feb 27 2024

I think the Flash writers might be trying to slow Wally down. Because they've been going on about how he's 'too' fast. And just had Barry shown to be possessed by someone giving him terrible headaches and him complaining he's been mapping the multiverse at home which contradicts the original plan of him physically exploring them. So I think they're going to knock Wally back down to Earth to restructure the Flash as an Earth level hero in a power scaling sense. Where if they keep Barry is and re-establish him as the fastest they can happily shoot him off into the multiverse and stop worrying about it.

I thought DC was maybe trying to get rid of Barry but maybe not in the way I thought they were. I think that they could be getting instructions that Barry is the most popular Flash again. Make him the fastest again. And once they've finished a Flashfamily plot. They could go about making another Flash book. There's a Jay Garrick one. And if the Bats get 80 books why not more for the Flashes. They're publishing a DC Finest Comic collection for Barry from 1956 to 1961 the early days. Alongside DC Finest origin collections for Batman (Post Crisis 86-87), Catwoman (88-94), Superman (1939-1940), Wonder Woman (2007-2009). Which will be fun some rebooted ones some original ones.

And over in the Green Lantern book Amanda Waller is trying to get Oliver Queen to steal that thing that held all the secrets at that stupid ass Hero Therapy Cabin. And for Roy I think Ollie is gonna do it. In the summer there is supposed to be an event Absolute Power. So far promo suggests it's going to be a Trinity story. But it definitely makes more sense that Amanda Waller is a massive threat if Wally isn't more powerful than Superman.

Kon has been universe hopping cause they clearly have no idea what to do with him this new superman book sucks. Bart flung himself into the speedforce currently but I'm sure he'll be back. Tim's Robin book was lame and they're still stuck on him. Cassie is trying to getting Diana to let her help her but not much else. I just wonder if they're gonna throw Young Justice back together give them a New Teen Titans style run where they're all 21+ and not teenagers at all but trying to figure out adulthood 3rd gen

[boysbellyrubs]

8B for Eve and Eleanor or any female sickie plz

-love love love your oc’s!

hello!! thank you so much for the request, its been ages hehe. i hope you like this one :).

the prompt comes from this list HERE - revived past traumatic memories.

tw: description of panic attack, mentions of child abuse

---

She thought she could handle it. A training video for her education course wasn’t supposed to cause such a scene. She wasn’t supposed to be acting like this in public, it was embarrassing. She sat at the back of her class trying not to burst into tears on the spot. The skin of her lower lip was raw, droplets of blood seeping out of the cracks in her skin. 

Eleanor sucked in a big breath, as big as she could, and held it. Her heart beat against her chest, her ears flooded with noise, a terrible all encompassing noise that clogged her thoughts. Her eyes were glued to the video, unable to look away from the sight of it. It wasn’t even anything. A video about how to look for signs of abuse, when Eleanor got a seed right in her belly that only sprouted and took over her entire body. Eleanor’s limbs were locked, her hands clutching the sides of the desk, unable to move or get out of the fucking classroom. 

She couldn’t take notice of anyone around her or what the tutor was saying, she was unable to form words or move her muscles to get away from the situation. All her thoughts were zeroed in on the video, now paused with a child with tears streaming down its face. She wondered if she looked the same. A child, frozen in place, chained to her seat as the panic attack tore through her whole body. 

It felt like years before anyone seemed to notice, no one cared that there was someone crying, wasn’t this supposed to be an education class. She felt like a child, drowning in a pool of tears silently as they choked off her vocal chords. 

She had sat there for too long, too long for no one to notice. Someone had to see her struggling. She didn’t want to deal with this alone. Where was Eve? Why was no one helping her? Was none of this actually happening? Was she imagining all of this? She no longer felt 19. 

A hand came into her view, touching her skin with the very tip of their fingers. So gentle she almost didn’t feel it. Her eyes finally snapped away from the video to the person next to her. Another girl who was staring at her like Eleanor had something terrible written on her forehead. Eleanor forced her eyes to blink. 

“Are you alright?” 

Stupid question. Eleanor shook her head, her neck so stiff it felt like she was made of wood. She felt her chest stutter as her breath came back to her, like a long awaited reunion she latched on to the feeling. The feeling of her lungs expanding and her shoulders moving, she knew how to calm herself down, she had done it so many times. Eleanor kept breathing, physically making her body move in time with it; she kept eye contact with the girl, needing anything else to look at than in front of her. 

The girl seemed okay with it, but Eleanor didn’t trust her judgement at that moment. Her ears were still fuzzy, the question ‘are you alright’ replaying over and over again. Her fingers were stiff, her legs jumping up and down to get rid of the electricity inside her. She breathed again, deep and strong, finally feeling the air push out every crevice of her lungs and fill her diaphragm properly. Eleanor felt her shoulders drop from her ears, and the twinge in her back allowed her to sink into her seat, spent. 

Eleanor was far from better though. The aftermath of the panic attack was settling in, an unsettled stomach and a headache on the way. She shut her eyes, imagining herself at home with Eve. 

“Do you need me to call anyone?” The girl's voice was so soft, Eleanor wondered if that was her real voice. It reminded her of Snow White almost. Peeling open her heavy eyes, the world tilted as she sat back up a little. She fished for her phone in her pocket, finally pulling it out with a struggle. Sluggishly opening her phone and finding Eve’s contact, she passed it over to the girl. Hopefully Eve wouldn’t immediately panic knowing it wasn’t Eleanor on the other side. 

With that sorted, Eleanor kept her head down, eyes staring at her keyboard. She counted the numbers a few times, made the alphabet with the letters and stared at the glowing lights under the buttons. She breathed in, chest stuttering like an old car, and out, imagining herself blowing away the keys and leaving it blank. 

She faintly heard the conversation next to her, but it was too hard to focus. Her head was aching and her belly was churning. She hadn’t had a panic attack in so long she forgot how awful the aftermath was.

The girl next to her slid her phone back onto the desk, “Your girlfriend’s on her way. I’ll help you outside.” God was Eleanor grateful she was sat next to fucking Mother Teresa. She didn’t even need to pack up her computer or her books, she felt gentle hands around her arm and then she was standing and walking out of the class. Eleanor was almost grateful for her condition because she didn’t notice anyone else as they left the room. She focused on the touch of the girl's hands and putting one foot in front of the other. 

Being outside drastically improved her condition. The sun cleared her vision and the wind swept away the fuzziness from her ears. She let out an audible sigh. 

“All good now?” The girl asked. 

Eleanor nodded, “Better.” 

The girl stayed with Eleanor until Eve arrived. Before they both left she introduced herself as Josie. It seemed like a fitting name for a girl so kind. 

The car ride was pretty silent, Eve noticing Eleanor’s need for a quiet trip. When they got home, it was immediate bed rest and Eve doting on her. As soon as her head hit the pillow she fell asleep, her body completely relaxing and allowing itself time to recover. 

When she woke up a few hours later, the curtains had been drawn on one side and the sunset was bleeding through the windows. Eleanor smiled despite herself. She pulled herself up, her headache mostly gone but she still felt her stomach gurgle a little. Eleanor put her hand to it, wanting to find Eve and get her to deal with it. 

It was a little hard to get out of bed and walk to the door, but as soon as she walked down the hall and smelt dinner cooking, walking got easier. Eve was in the kitchen with her hair messily done in a low ponytail. Her hair had gotten longer yet there were bits still falling out in front of her eyes, Eleanor heard her blow a strand away before she said hello. 

She was dressed in an apron, sweatpants and a cropped t-shirt. The apron cinched her waist, and her neck was exposed. She approached and softly kissed the back of her neck, causing the girl to jump. 

Eleanor chuckled, “Did I scare you?” 

“You’re supposed to be in bed, Miss.” Eve turned around. Now that Eleanor was more lucid, she noticed her eyeliner and earrings. She was wearing her favourite sun earrings and her eyeliner was more extravagant than usual. She smiled, 

“You look pretty.” 

Eve’s cheeks flushed red, she ducked her head down and chuckled, “Shut up,” She turned back around and stirred whatever was in the pot, “How much of this do you want? Are you feeling up to eating at all?” 

Eleanor hooked her chin over Eve’s shoulder, shrugging. She would want to eat whatever Eve made but she didn’t know if her stomach could handle a full meal. 

“Well, you can have a small portion and then we’ll see if it settles hmm?” Eve always knew exactly what to say. 

Eve finished up her cooking and plated two very different sized meals. They both sat down to eat and Eleanor could only stomach a few spoonfuls. The meal was good though, for the few bites she had. She felt a little guilty for not being able to eat a lot, but Eve was perfectly okay with it, of course. 

After dinner they sat on the couch, Eve searched for something to put on the TV just to have noise. She sat back next to Eleanor, noticing how quiet she was. 

“Do you want to tell me about what happened?” Her hand snuck onto Eleanor’s belly, rubbing a gentle side to side motion. 

Eleanor debated it. She didn’t really want to, but this was Eve. She could tell her anything. 

She leaned into her girlfriend, sighing to prepare herself. 

“It was just a video about signs of child abuse. The scenes in it were just a bit too real and then I freaked. It felt like it was so long before anyone even noticed, like I was the child in the video,” She laughed, “Silly, right?” 

Eve’s other hand came around to rub her shoulder, “Of course not, you can’t control what triggers you. Sweetheart, don’t feel silly about it. I promise, you’re okay and if anything else happens I’ll be there to help you,” She paused, leant forward and kissed Eleanor’s temple, “Now just rest, and forget about today.” 

She rubbed Eleanor’s stomach more, settling the food inside and putting Eleanor at ease. After the debacle today, this was nice. 

---

[shacchou]

     @apricotheart  ||  continued from ( x )

     Kaiba knew it was only a matter of time before he heard from Anzu again. Considering that determined disposition of hers, Seto wouldn’t have been surprised had she flown all the way to Japan and showed up unannounced at his company’s headquarters, demanding to speak with him. It seemed, though, that she chose a more low-profile way of contacting him— by threatening his secretary over the phone.

     He listened to her, making no attempt at interrupting her despite the fact that he wanted to. Her words sounded like desperate rambling, her voice reverberating through his surroundings from the phone’s speaker. It was only when she, at last, went silent, that he spoke.

     ❛  Did you consider for even a second that by giving them a statement you were only playing into their game ?  I thought you were smarter than that, Mazaki.  ❜  Honestly, did she think that by denying the story they would just leave her alone ?  Hell, even if he went out of his way to release a statement, the rumors would not cease until either a new scandal proved more lucrative, or legal action was taken. And truth be told, the second option seemed unlikely in this particular scenario. He had seen the photo. It had been taken at the precise moment, and from an advantageous angle. Anyone who looked at it was bound to assume they were a couple, especially given the fact that never before had any photo of him kissing a woman seen the light of day ( even if it was only on the cheek ). He didn’t think such a photo of him even existed before that night. He was not only extremely discreet when it came to matters of said nature, but always took several precautions to avoid any repercussions that stemmed from those rare nights that he spent with a woman.

     He had been careless this time, that much he was painfully aware of. Perhaps exactly because there was nothing between him and Mazaki. He had only assisted her in getting rid of some loser that wouldn’t take no for an answer. Truly, this was bound to become a new reason, alongside many others, that explained why he never bothered offering his assistance to anyone. 

     He sat back against his seat, already starting to feel the impending approach of a headache. His hand reached for his temples, massaging them for a moment before he was forced to swallow the growl that threatened to escape past his lips. Yes, it was definitely a headache. 

     ❛  Is that what you think I do ?  Toss money at whatever problem comes my way and watch as it miraculously disappears ?  ❜  He could silence various media outlets in Japan through the means of his influence, that much was true. But overseas ?  A few, perhaps. But not all of them. Though the American branch of his company was thriving and expanding, its creation was still recent. That was exactly why he was often traveling to New York, to begin with— almost twice a month as of late. As for releasing a statement, that option was almost immediately discarded. What was he to say ?  That he was pretending to be her partner for just a second ?  Right. Because that sounded so convincing. 

     There was, of course, another option. She wasn’t going to like it, though. But well, she had asked him to do something. Not that he was keen on helping her, but he supposed he owed her at least that much considering that he did sort of cause this entire mess.

     ❛  I can have a few members of my PR team fly to New York tomorrow. They would see to it that all press inquiries are channeled through them. That should, at least, keep these reporters at bay.  ❜  He paused. Then came the unattractive part.  ❛  But the fact that you would be backed by my team would not pass unnoticed. So if I do this, we would be more or less confirming the press’ story.  ❜  To her it might seem an unlikely solution, but he was hardly concerned. He knew how this entire thing worked— had been subjected to it plenty of times. The press had one aim: to sell a story. But there was no story to sell here. They were on opposite sides of the world. And even when the time came to travel back to America, there would be no such thing as more photographs of them, simply because they would not ever be seen together. Nothing. Without any new material, the public was bound to lose interest. Billionaires were hardly seen as the type to hold steady relationships, anyway. And so, the story would simply die out on its own sooner rather than later.  

[teaveetamer]

Heya! So I asked the anon to gascon-en-exil re: Triangle Strategy. My point about Gustadolph and Idore (vs Edelgard and Rhea) was not to imply that Edelgard is morally right about anything lol. She's obvious not. She's as much of a villain as Gustadolph is and I tried to make that clear in my anon. I guess my point to gascon was, as he himself said in his review of Triangle Strategy, that Gustadolph and Idore are what you have if you removed everything interesting about Edelgard and Rhea. 1/2

Gustadolph as a villain works if he invaded Hyzante for their salt, because we can understand that much. But he doesn't: he murders Dragan, then invaded Glenbrook for lulz because evil villain. And only then after making Glenbrook a puppet state, did he threaten Hyzante. If he just worked freely with Glenbrook, they'd share the Glenbrook salt crystals together. Edelgard makes it clear she's only after conquest, but Gustadolph does the conquest for the lulz when it isn't needed at all tbh 2/2

I'm definitely not implying you think she was right about anything, but IMO if you want moral complexity you at least need to have a point and she just doesn't. Nothing she says is actually true, or at least not bad enough to make her actions proportional to the problem. She definitely has her points of appeal, but IMO none of them are related to this ambiguous sense of moral complexity.

Anyway, keeping this mostly about Triangle Strategy, I think you're misrepresenting what happened between Gustadolph and Glennbrook a bit. Dragan initially extorted Gustadolph to try and get himself into the position of prime minister, and Gustadolph got rid of him more out of pride and his desire to keep his sibling in the position than anything (considering getting the salt crystals from Glennbrook wouldn't have even been possible without Dragan in the first place). He's a user. He used Dragan until he thought he'd outlived his usefulness, and then he got rid of him so as to not cause him any more headaches. He even admits, at the end of Benedict's route, that he vastly underestimated how much he needed Dragan and it was a bad call to kill him how and when he did.

And he didn't invade Glenbrook for the lulz, he invaded it because he wanted sole control over the salt crystals and he wanted a stepping stone to attack Hyzante from. Sure in theory Glennbrook might have been willing to share, but that's not guaranteed. Considering how corrupt Glennbrook was under the surface they could have just as easily taken the mines for themselves and shut him out entirely. The mines are in Glennbrook's territory, after all. Not only that, but there doesn't appear to be much of a way to get from Aesfrost to Hyzante without crossing through Glennbrook at least partially. So if he went ahead and attacked Hyzante without Glennbrook's full support, they could have just as easily turned on Aesfrost and cut off their supply lines, leaving Aesfrost stranded.

And it's not like he has a lot of reason to trust Glennbrook, all things considered. When the Salt Iron Wars came to an end Glennbrook (specifically the Norzelia Consortium) was supposed to "fairly mediate trade" between Hyzante and Aesfrost, but clearly they weren't doing a super great job of it. Since the Consortium taxes were getting so high in Aesfrost that most people couldn't even afford salt and had to turn to smuggling operations. Those taxes, by the way, were charged by the Consortium (or at least a portion of them) and that money presumably went straight back to Glennbrook. Or, at least Glennbrook's merchant class. So that's one group of people in Glennbrook who stand to lose if the presence of salt outside of Hyzante comes to light.

So there's like some actual pros and cons and opportunity costs when Gustadolph is making his decisions.

If Gustadolph told Glennbrook that he'd found salt in the mines and wanted to stick it to Hyzante, then sure there's a possibility that they could have worked together to do that. But if Glennbrook doesn't want to play ball then not only has he lost a potential ally, he's lost the element of surprise and the only secret advantage Aesfrost had. There's genuine reasons for him to keep that secret that actually make sense in the world they've built up around the conflict.

Not that he's not evil, he definitely is, but there's a recognizable thought process and foundation for the decisions he makes there. I'd say of the two of them, Idore is the more "evil for the lulz" of them. Basically a madman with a lust of power puppeteering a religion he doesn't even really believe in under the paternalistic assumption that people need to be treated like children in order to be happy/productive/worthwhile.

[adudelol-reblogs]

i'm giving you the rest because i can:

Chosen had yet another headache. He groaned to himself as he stumbled out of the "house" that the Color Gang had made for him. He reached the stairs, and he realized that he shouldn't trust his eyesight anymore, and flew the short distance from the door to the ground.

She heard Second's voice, but sharp noises were still ringing in her ears, so she grimaced to tell Second that she couldn't hear them. Second got upset, but Chosen didn't notice as she continued to walk.

When Chosen saw a blur of pale grey, he froze. He tried to see past the glitches and his headache, but he couldn't make out the form until it got closer.

"Chosen. Hello."

Chosen flinched back instinctively, but shook their head to get it as clear as they could, and then returned the greeting. Firstborn watched Chosen's glitches flit from one place to the other, never staying still. The ringing in their ears were just making their headache worse, they thought.

"- Chosen? Chosen, are you listening?"

Chosen got snapped back to reality as he heard his name being called. Firstborn sounded a bit guarded, as if he wanted to express concern but was unsure of how it would be received.

Chosen muttered, "Sorry, got lost in thought. What were you saying?"

Firstborn sighed and said, "Never mind, it wasn't important anyway. Are you alright? Slept well?"

Chosen had another nightmare, this time Victim and Dark torturing her for info on the Cursor, even though they knew damn well that she didn't know anything useful and the she was not the right stick to go to in order to get to Him.

Like hell they were going to tell Firstborn that.

"Yes. I'm completely fine," Chosen lied. Wow, the flash of annoyance on Firstborn's face almost made this entire meeting worth it.

… Almost, being the operative word there, as Firstborn kept insisting that they had changed and Chosen could trust them. It was starting to get irritating. Smoke started to rise from their shoulders and the glitches started to zip around, leaving trails of pain zigzagging across Chosen's body.

"I SAID I WAS FINE!" Chosen exploded, causing Firstborn to take a few steps back. She stormed off, trying to calm down, and as she got further away, she heard Firstborn mutter, "What was so wrong? I thought I did everything Second told me to…"

Ah. So Second had given advice to Firstborn, forgetting the strained past between the two. Chosen sighed. No, it wasn't fair to lash out like that, but how else was Firstborn supposed to mind his own business?!

Being rude had a level of straightforwardness that Chosen needed - that being nice wouldn't achieve. This feeling of guilt wasn't nice though. He wished he could get rid of it, and quickly.

-✨

oooo i am loving this so far :0

[moonlight-cp]

Proxy in Command (Creepypasta x Reader) Chapter 16

Series Masterlist

I couldn't properly sleep at night. It wasn't because I slept on the couch, I was already used to it. For the whole night, I felt as if Derek was still biting into my neck even though he was passed out on the bed. This sensation lasted for a few hours until I finally drifted off to sleep.

Since I didn't close the curtains, the sun rays hit my eyes, causing me to stir up. I was wearing my night clothes so I had to change before Derek woke up.

I tiptoed upstairs making sure I wouldn't wake him up. I slowly opened our shared closet and pulled out a nude turtle neck, black dressing pants, and a suit with matching heels. As soon as I was ready, I sat on the bed and shook Derek awake.

As he stirred, a realization came to my mind. Offenderman's injection was supposed to make the person think they slept together. I have been using it on Derek for three times, completely forgetting the fact the removal of clothes was necessary to...

Derek turned around to look at me and smiled. Immediately he closed his eyes and held his head in pain.

"Do you want me to hand you painkillers?" I asked with a concerned tone to hide my fear.

"Yes dove, it appears I might have drunk a little too much"

"A little?" I chuckled. "Give me a minute."

As I was going downstairs my eyes widened in fear. I couldn't believe I hadn't thought about that. I went to the kitchen and grabbed two Advil pills along with a glass of water. I stared at it as I was lost in my thoughts.

Derek's phone call from two nights ago came up in my mind. He mentioned something about taking me somewhere today and making sure I didn't suspect a thing. Did he found out about my true identity? If that was the case, then I had to be ready to escape wherever he was taking me. His shipment was what worried me. I had to find out what it was and possibly get rid of it before I leave.

Before I took a step on the first stair, I remembered what occurred last night. Rachel's death could postpone the plan where he was taking me.

I took a deep breath to calm my nerves and headed upstairs where Derek was sitting on the bed.

"Here you go, love," I said as I handed him the pills and water. I realized this was the first time I called him something else than Derek.

As if he was thinking the same thing, he smiled when he heard what I called him. "Thanks, babe," he said before grabbing the pills and water from my hands. He gave me a small peck on the cheek.

He was way more gentle when he was sober. My fear slowly dissolved as I assured myself he wouldn't do anything to me in this state.

"Do you want to shower while I pick your clothes?" I offered.

He raised one of his eyebrows. "You're being nicer than you usually are this morning." He pointed out.

"Well you have a headache so I thought it would be right for me to help you with something," I explained. It was a lie. I wanted him to believe that I loved him.

"You could help me out in something else," he winked before laughing as he stood up to go to the bathroom. "Can you pick out similar clothes to yours? I want us to match again."

"Definitely!" I yelled to make sure he had heard me from the bathroom. "I'm definitely going to kill you, you lunatic," I whispered.

/~~~/

"She what!" Jeff yelled across the dining room after he heard what Ben had announced.

"She's alive. I saw her through security cameras." Ben repeated.

Everyone including the Slenderbrothers were sitting in the dining room while Slenderman and Sally were nowhere to be seen.

"So you're stalking her?" Offender spoke out.

"She killed a person and wanted me to delete security footage," Ben explained. "I only have the live footage up on my computer to check up on her and make sure she's alright."

"You finally used your small brain for once," Puppeteer muttered which received a couple of laughs from the other pastas.

"So she's coming back today?" Masky asked.

Ben shook his head. "She said she would try but she'll possibly need more time."

"That's dangerous considering Zalgo's awakening could happen anytime soon," Trender pointed out.

"Think about Sally you guys," L.J pointed out, trying to change the topic with Zalgo. "She's convinced Y/N would arrive a day earlier which is today. I wouldn't want to burst her bubble."

Sally gently opened the dining-room door and made her way to her seat. The pastas looked away, not daring to tell her the bad news.

"You guys are acting funny," she pointed out.

L.J looked at her and realized the ones she was entirely comfortable with were with Splendor and him.

"Sally," he spoke out. "I-"

Before he could finish, Slenderman had popped in the room with plates being held by his tentacles. He could no longer tell the child especially in front of Slenderman's presence.

"What were you going to say L.J?" L.J looked at her eyes. For a second he swore her green eyes sparkled.

"I was going to suggest we spend the day together," he improvised.

"We could both wait for Y/N!" She exclaimed.

Puppeteer coughed as L.J nervously nodded his head.

"Yeah..."

/~~~/

The trip to the elevator felt long despite us going one story down. Derek wrapped his arm around my waist while I laid my head on his shoulder. I knew what would await us in a couple of seconds.

The doors flew open so we got greeted with a sickening smell. I immediately knew Rachel's dead body was smelling.

"Ew, that's probably Rachel's alcohol that stinks" He spoke out as we walked past her door.

"So she's not going to join us for the grand surprise?" I asked as I looked him in the eye.

"Hopefully not." He chuckled. He opened the meeting room door for me.

"Good morning," I announced to the four remaining associates.

"Good morning R/N, how did you sleep?" Chloe asked me. She noticed I was wearing a turtle neck while the others wore dress shirts.

"I slept well," I replied. "I hope Carter didn't give you a challenging night."

She let out a laugh. "He wouldn't stop singing Britney Spears." I looked at Carter and saw his cheeks were turning red.

"Hey man, you tried kissing me, remember?" Hunter teased him as he swung his arm on Carter's shoulder. This only made him blush even more.

"Stop embarrassing me," he huffed.

"Any new evidence of Slenderman and his proxy?" Derek changed the topic. I felt my heart beating faster but remembered what Rachel had told me. I sat down knowing they didn't believe in my urban tale

They all shook their heads which relieved me. Derek folded his hands under his chin while a smirk formed on his lips. "One of my stupid workers saw three guys walking around the forest. Apparently one of them was carrying hatchets. He was supposed to call me yesterday at night but I expect him to call me later today."

So that was him. He was the guy that called him at night but I had answered the call when Derek was passed out.

"We still don't know anything about the proxy besides what the urban tale states," Author pointed out.

Derek rolled his eyes "Slenderman took her in as one of his slaves and she remains loyal to him. Apparently, she's a badass blah blah blah."

Did the urban tale state I was his slave or did he make an inference?

"I'd be scared for your workers if I was you, Derek," Hunter smirked. "You said it yourself, Y/N L/N is a badass. She's capable of killing you and your workers in a matter of minutes."

Derek crossed his arms as he leaned back on his chair. "You think she scares me? I bet I'll kill her before she has the chance to scream for mercy." He smirked. "But I have a better way on how to destroy her, Slenderman, and that trio without having to face them."

I leaned closer to the table while showing him a small smile. "And what's your plan handsome?"

He smiled at me as he stood up. "I'm going to make the forest go BOOM!" He yelled as he slammed his fists on the table.

We looked at him wide-eyed, knowing he had completely gone insane. A bomb? 

"Wh-what?" Carter choked. "You aren't being serious are you?"

Derek nodded his head, "I brought an illegal nuclear bomb and had them shipped here. You'd be surprised at the damage it can cause. If I recall correctly, it will destroy half of the forest. If it doesn't reach them then I can always buy another powerful one to completely demolish the forest."

I wasted five days seducing him just so this maniac can tell about his ridiculous idea...

"You said you shipped it here?" Chloe spoke out after a few seconds of pure silence.

"It's underneath the lobby Chlo, I think you guys should see it," Derek handed me his hand so that I can stand up.

I knew the others hesitated to join which made me believe Rachel had indeed told me the truth. As we passed by the hallway, the unpleasant smell greeted us again.

"I think we have to check up on her," Hunter broke the silence. " I know how a dead body smells like."

Derek froze as he turned around to look at him. " We'll check up on her after you guy see the bomb. I'm not letting her ruin my day." He squeezed my hand at the end.

I took a glance at Chloe and saw fear in her eyes. If she thought Derek was insane at first, I can only imagine how she thinks of him now.

"Derek, you don't perhaps have the key to her room do you?" Author asked him.

"I forgot them in my room. You could ask the receptionist for a spare if you're that desperate."

Author looked at Hunter who nodded at him. "Hunter and I will go. You four could check out the bomb."

I would have stayed here but Derek gently pulled my arm so that I can walk with him and Chloe and Carter.

Once we entered the elevator, Derek pushed the red emergency button.

"Why did you press the emergency button?" I asked him.

"You'll see dove," he said with an amused tone. He pulled me closer as we waited.

The doors opened and revealed a dark room with a few light bulbs connected to the ceiling here and there. Although the room was dark, that did not stop us from seeing a huge cylinder steel bomb in the middle of the room.

"How did you bring that here let alone how did you buy it?" I turned towards him in shock.

He laughed as he started walking towards it. "I'm rich and I know some leaders that can make these just as long as I don't get caught by authorities."

Carter, Chloe, and I walked behind him. Carter who was his best friend looked displeased.

"Derek, are you sure this is a good idea? Maybe we could get more men to hunt them? Or maybe we can just forget about them?"

Derek looked at him in anger. "You think I will give up on killing the creature that killed my parents and ruined my life! If you thought so then you are clearly mistaken."

Carter quickly nodded his head. "Yes but I think I speak for everyone when I say this idea is a bit..."

"Say it, Carter!" Derek yelled. "Say it!"

Before Carter had the chance to answer, his phone rang. I made my way to Derek and rubbed his shoulder to try to calm his nerves as Carter answered the phone.

"We're on our way," Carter spoke out before putting his phone away. "Hunter said we need to go to Rachel's room asap."

"Oh dear, Rachel is pulling a scene again," Derek rolled his eyes.

"I don't think so. He sounded worried."

As we were making our way to the elevator, I noticed there was an emergency staircase on the side of the elevator. I wondered if anyone had gone inside here yet.

(...)

"What the hell is going on here?" Derek asked as we walked through the hallway with us behind.

"Derek you have to take a look at this," Hunter who was standing outside the broken door, gestured us to go inside Rachel's apartment. He probably broke it to get inside instead of getting a spare key. Immediately once we entered, her dead body smell was stronger.

"What the fuck? Who killed her!" Derek yelled.

Author who was standing next to the body shook his head. "She committed suicide while she was drunk. Derek, you have to read the note."

Derek turned to look at Chloe and me. "You two stay in the penthouse until I open the door and don't let anyone in. I personally don't think she committed suicide."

"You guys better stay safe," I whispered as I looked at Derek. He walked up towards me and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead.

"We will. Call us if you see anything suspicious." I nodded before leaving the room with Chloe.

Our way to the penthouse was quiet mostly because she was tensed and I didn't know how to comfort someone. I never had to in the past. Once I unlocked the door, Chloe went inside and broke down.

"Derek must have killed her, it makes sense if he did!"

"Chlo, he was wasted," I reminded her. "He had a hard time walking."

"But he said he would eliminate her in some way! I think he took the advantage that she was drunk and made it seem like she committed suicide." She sat down on the couch and placed her hands on her face. "Joining this association was stupid. I wish I hadn't listened to Carter."

I carefully sat next to her. This was the chance to confirm if Rachel lied or not. "Did Carter force you to join?"

She took off her shoes and raised her legs in front of her chest. "Carter wanted to live a simple life. R/N I'm going to confess something and you can't tell Derek or else it would bring us in great danger."

I slowly nodded my face, already knowing what she was going to say.

"None of us believe Slenderman is real. Derek has this crazy idea that he is and he killed his parents. When he told us about it, he mentioned how he wanted to create this organization and explained all these benefits. None of us thought he would take it this far and buy an illegal bomb!"

I looked at her with sympathy. Actually, I was faking it. She and the other associates weren't any danger to us but my orders were to kill his associates and not get attached to them.

"I'll try to convince him it's an absurd idea. I don't think I can talk him out of the Slenderman idea though."

"Thank you R/N!" She exclaimed as she jumped up and hugged me. I stood there awkwardly for a few seconds before hugging her back. She pulled back and noticed the turtle neck I had worn. Without a warning, she yanked it down only to see the bruises on my neck.

She widen her eyes. "R/N! I told you to call me if anything happened!"

"I was fine Chlo!" I insisted. "He knocked out before anything else happened."

She studied my expression for a few seconds before looking away. "I wonder how Author feels. He cared for her so much."

"Did he love Rachel?" I asked.

"I was aware they were close, " she replied. " He loved her, she loved Derek, Derek loves you, and you love him back."

We had some conversations for a few hours. She told me more about herself and I invented my backstory. Although I lied about my childhood and teenage years, it felt different talking to a girl. There were only guys in the mansion except for Sally but she was still a kid.

Two hours had passed when we were starting to get worried. Chloe was afraid if something had happened to the guys while I feared if I had left evidence behind.

Another hour had passed when Derek and Carter had finally returned.

"What took so long?" I asked as Derek came over to me to embrace me.

"Police officers weren't buying the idea she killed herself. They went through security footage and found nothing. They were suspicious of me since she mentioned my name in the letter but I gave them money to leave me alone."

"Derek, money doesn't solve all of your issues." Carter chuckled as he wrapped his arm around Chloe.

Derek turned to glare at him. "I'm still pissed at you. I haven't forgotten what you mentioned earlier."

Carter raised his hands in surrender. "I already apologized man, what else do you want from me?"

"Whatever, get out of my room."

Although his words sounded harsh, his expression said otherwise. He tried not to smile but the side of his lips moved upwards, almost forming a smirk.

"I'll talk to you later R/N!" Chloe exclaimed before leaving with Carter.

"Bye Chloe!" I yelled as I placed my hand on Derek's shoulder. "You alright?"

Derek sighed before nodding. He made his way to the couch and tapped the seat next to him, hinting for me to take a seat, so I did. He laid his head on my lap and let out a heavy sigh. I gently played with his hair as I looked outside through the window.

Before he had the chance to speak, his phone rang. He pulled out his phone and answered the call, staying in the same position. 

Whatever the person said, it made Derek immediately get up. "Oh shit, I forgot that was today. I'll be there in a few minutes."

I couldn't make out a word of what the person said but I knew it was a he. I was worried if it was the same guy from this morning.

Derek ended the call before turning his head to look at me. "I'll be back in a few hours, I have to solve a few issues first. I'll send the employees to send you your lunch since I won't be here however I'll make it out for dinner." 

I nodded my head. "I understand."

He let out a sigh before walking up towards me. He kissed me on my forehead before bending down to my level. "I know love, but I have to go. Tell you what, get ready to go out for dinner around six. I'll pick you up." Before he walked away he looked at me and smiled. "I love you". 

I faked a smile "I love you too."

After he left, I quickly changed into a blank expression. I sat there while embracing the silence. My thoughts were racing and part of it was the fact I had to kill all the associates by today and arrive at the airport past midnight if I want to be back to the mansion at eight in the morning tomorrow. 

I somehow recalled Derek's conversation two nights ago. He mentioned how he was supposed to take me somewhere and how I wasn't suspicious.

I rubbed my forehead and closed my eyes as I tried to come up with a plan to end everyone without getting caught. I could end his associates right now but I had a chance in getting caught especially since Rachel's death may have alarmed them. The only problem is that time was running out.

I stared at the ceilings throughout the window as I tried to think of a plan. A rare sincere smile was formed on my lips upon realizing what I need to do to eliminate them all at once...

Series Masterlist---Next Chapter -> (Chapter 17)

[plush-rabbit]

Pining For You

Request: Hi bunny! Can i request pining hcs for Lucifer and diavolo pls? For a reader that's very oblivious, and very physically affectionate with the others. Thanks!

A/N: This was really fun to do!! I hope that you enjoy!!

-

Lucifer:

Pining for you ruins him. It ruins Lucifer in a way that it shouldn’t have ever been possible. He’s not one for the more romantic emotions, he’s far too busy with his own life to focus on something so frivolous. And yet, when the Avatar of Pride looks at you, he can’t help but feel a twisting around his heart and heat that settles in his chest and burns against him. It’s an odd feeling to pine over someone, especially when it’s him. It should be the other way around, it should be you wanting to confess and yet, he doesn’t find the entire experience awful.

It’s been a long time since he’s felt this way, so long that he can’t remember what the feeling is supposed to mean. He doesn’t have time for a relationship, and yet when you come knocking at his door, he’s willing to drop everything and run after you even if it’s for a simple task of reaching for the top cupboard. He’s willing to abandon his duties and promises, and have you lead him astray. It’s you that makes him a mess and it’s you that he’s fallen for. You’re oblivious and kind, and you’re human and one day you’ll die, but it’s you that he wants. If it’s you, he’d welcome any feeling, just to know that it was you that had left such a mark against his heart and soul.

You’re touchy with the others- constantly throwing your arms around them, leaning on their arms, and even playing with their hands. It leaves the demon with a bad taste in his mouth. He could easily return your affections, but it isn’t him that you’re choosing. He won’t admit it, but it makes him feel jealousy. He shouldn’t have to feel his way, and he doesn’t want to, but he does. He won't admit it, but due to you being so overly affectionate, he decides to have you closer to him. He has you sit with him during meal times, during council meetings he saves you a seat beside him, and he’ll find any excuse to just have you sit beside him.

Pride and obliviousness don’t go together. He’s sure of himself and he makes his attraction known to you, and yet, you can only smile and hold his hands in yours and tell him that you like him as well. It leaves him frustrated knowing that he’s confessed to you and yet you only take it as a friendly gesture. Despite the actions that he takes to have you notice him in a romantic way, you don’t. You take it as any other friendly gesture and he’s left with a headache forming between his brows and a heavy heart. It isn’t sadness- at least he doesn’t want to admit that. He’s a demon, a simple human shouldn’t be affecting him so and yet, you do. You make him want to scream when you accept his gifts and tell him how much you love them only to kiss his cheek and show them off to the others. It had to be in your nature to be oblivious, and while it’s frustrating, he’s still grateful that it’s you. He just wants you to see him the way that he sees you. You’re the one that turned the Avatar of Pride into such a mess that it's almost laughable if it weren’t his feelings at play.

A confession to you is not easy, but he doesn’t mind a bit of work. Lucifer knocks at your door, his head held high and hands clasped behind his back and he’s grateful that he has gloves to conceal how clammy his hands have gotten. When you open the door, he smiles gently at you and enters your room. His confession is meant to be short. He’s meant to just tell you that he has feelings for you but then he sees the way that you tilt his head and he’s left confessing himself to you. You are a human and yet you’re the one that has reduced him to nothing more than a mess. You’ve done so much for him and the only thing that he has to show for it are feelings that at away at him, feelings that make him lose his breath, and something so raw that it’s painful. He hadn’t known that pining after you would have caused such a ruckus in his life, but it has. You’ve left hi in a disarray. He’s your demon, and you’re his master, and whatever you want from him, he’d be willing to do.

Diavolo:

Diavolo hadn’t expected to find himself attracted to you in a romantic sense. He loves humans and in turn, humanity, but he never thought that the exchange student would be the one to capture his attention- especially when he was a prince and you were only a simple human. He sits with his feelings and that’s something that’s new to him. He’s so used to rushing forward without a thought, without a fear of consequence, but this time, it’s different. He doesn’t know what to do, he just sits with his emotions until he finally admits to out loud that he does have feelings for you.

You spend so much time with the others that it isn’t fair. He can’t spend time with you because he’s a prince, he has things to attend to and oversee and that costs him so much. He’s glad that you’re spending time with the others, that you aren’t alone, but at the same time, you rely on them, but not him. At a certain point, he starts to request your presence for just simple things at first- joining him for a meal, walking through the garden, attending a few more human related events, and then it gradually increases to staying late at the castle due to him convincing you to spend your time in the library, sitting beside him while he signs documents, and even just the simple task of him giving you a proper tour of the castle- anything to keep you around him longer. It’s all just a cheap ploy to get you to spend time with him. Sure he feels a bit guilty about it, but he’s also a demon, guilt is something he feels and to him, it’s just another emotion that he can easily rid himself of.

It isn’t easy to get you to notice his feelings for you. He’s sure that you can sense something has shifted in the dynamic but that also may be him just wanting to believe in that. Demon courting and human courting are two very different things that he isn’t quite sure which one to do. He’s sure you’d accept his gifts, but would you know the meanings behind it? If he were to ask you out on a date would you simply believe that he was just requesting more of your time? It’s such a bother, but it’s something that he must deal with- it’s his feelings and he’ll sort them out for you. He ends up trying a mix of both, hell flowers that seep with fortunes when bled on, a lovely note written in your textbook, gifts that are weighted in jewels and gold, and stuffed animals that he’s seen you admire. It’s a mix of things, but you seem to enjoy them so he doesn’t stop.

Perhaps it’s the demon in him that makes him so territorial when it comes to you. He’s surprised at his jealousy of having others touch you and having you reciprocate the touch- to reach out and cup their face or for you to pull them close for a hug. It leaves an awful, acidic taste on his tongue, an anger brewing in him that has him huffing out like a child. There should be no reason for him to feel so awful, but yet he does. It’s no surprise that you enjoy touch, but he can still sense your hesitation when it comes towards him. He thinks that it might have to deal with his title, but that’s only a hunch. At a certain point, he has to take the step forward and grab your hand that is so small in his and let it cup against his jaw and cheeks and when you run your thumb under his bottom lip, he only leans towards you, quiet with his eyes closed.

The poor prince can only handle his own feelings for so long. You’re oblivious and while that’s just a thing of yours, he can’t just sit quietly and hope you’ll pick up on the signals. Eventually, Diavolo pulls you aside and sits you beside him, his knee pressing against yours and his hands clasped over yours. It’s straightforward, he leaves no room for miscommunication. He tells you how he adores you, how you’re the one that makes him nervous and how he wishes that you would look at him the way that he looks at you, and as he lifts your hand to touch against his chest where his heart rests, you can only look at him with wide eyes. All he wants is to hold your hand and have you be beside him for as long as you’d let him; he may be a prince, but you’re the one who holds power over him. He’d bow before you and kiss your knuckles, he’d sully his own name if it meant that you would only kiss his temple.

[rviden]

hello!! may I request for hcs for when you get into an argument with the genshin boys (you can choose who!!) and the guys end up saying something hurtful, and your reaction is like "well, if that's what you think, then maybe we shouldn't be together." and walks away (tryna hide a tear,,)?? I'm sorry if this is too specific aah I'm just in the mood for angst ( •́ ‿ ,•̀ ) I really like your characterization!! <333

— 🧧 THEIR S/O BREAKS UP WITH THEM AFTER A RUDE COMMENT THEY MADE

includes — kazuha, tohma, diluc

warnings — angst, pre tohma release

pronouns — they/them

note — in honour of the 2.0 announcement trailer, i included the newest boy to my writing list (tohma by beloved) - i’ve also added baal (or raiden), ayaka, and yoimiya!

KAZUHA

kazuha wasn’t usually confrontational off of the battle field — opting for more serene and peaceful things while resting and spending his time with you

but sometimes when emotions boil over, we say things that we don’t mean, nor wish to say at all — it’s in the heat of the moment type of thing, which is exactly what was happening to kazuha in the present time

“you don’t get it- you never will,” kazuha paced away from you, wanting to put an end to the conversation station as soon as he could.

“and what’s that supposed to mean?” you took strides to catch up with the upset male, desperate to understand his reasoning. “why don’t you face me, and tell me why the hell you won’t let me help-“ the moment your hand made contact with his arm, he turned in fury — something you had never seen him in ever.

“you’re too clumsy, too reckless, and simply not able to withstand that type of battles that would occur!” kazuha’s face was mere inches from your own. “you’re just not enough.”

you weren’t enough.

he was talking about physical ability, but... why did it feel as if he was talking about everything — the way you dressed, the way you acted, the person you are.

he didn’t think you were enough.

“... if- if you think so lowly of me, then i don’t think this is going to work,” your feet slowly brought your body away from the now shocked and calming male, trying to put as much distance as you could between the two of you.

“y/n-“ he reached out for your arm, only to pull back as if he had been shocked as you flinched away from it. “i didn’t mean it like that.”

“well that’s what it sounded like kazuha.”

you never called him kazuha — it was always kaz, or some other nickname — but never kazuha.

“i’ll leave you to your business, and i’ll board with beidou in the morning,” the distance grew greater, and hearts cracked piece by piece. “i hope you find someone who’s enough on your travels.”

kazuha’s heart left with you — the emptiness in his chest product of his own doings, his own words.

it seemed that he was the one not enough for you.

TOHMA

tohma didn’t like to fight, argue, or even cause any sort of pain to you — and in the past if he ever did, it was not by his choice, or it was a complete accident

yet here he found himself, spouting words he didn’t mean, watching the look of anger on your face crumble into hurt and betrayal

tohma was tired — beyond even — with the job that he possessed, and the dedication to match, nights were often spent resting and resetting for the next.

“y/n i really don’t have time for this right now, you know this,” his fingers pinched the bridge of his nose, desperately trying to rid himself of both the anger and headache that clawed at his mind.

“i think you have plenty of time right now — all i’m asking is for you to consider my idea,” you stepped closer to the blonde, brings your hands up to run through his hair in order to help calm him down. “i just want to see you a little more often, even if it’s only a day a week — just more then i see you now-“

his head was yanked away from your hands, and his eyes burned into you like the vision that hung on his hip. “for the last time! i have my duties with the kamisato clan, and they need my dedication and focus — i don’t have time to waste.”

his words didn’t fully click in his head, until he saw your eyes widen in both shock and hurt — and all he could do was watch as your body slowly backed away and shrank into itself, becoming smaller and smaller by the second.

you tried to appear bigger in mere moments after the metaphorical slap to the face — your chin being held high, eyes narrowed, and drawn in tight.

“don’t bother coming home tomorrow, or the nextday, or even the next,” he could see the hurt as you tried to keep your composer. “wouldn’t want you wasting time, now would we?”

“y/n-“

“leave tohma — you have your duties, remember?”

it happened too fast for tohma to handle — one minute you were happily chatting, next the argument broke out, and the next, he had broken the one promise he had made to himself and you.

he had hurt you, one too many times.

DILUC

he was a calm and collected man, trying many other options before it truly came down to a fight — he poked and prodded most times during arguments, but never before had he pointed out things he knew would hurt

maybe that’s why he wasn’t only in shock as he watch the anger turn into sadness and thought, but also at the words that seemed to flow out of his mouth like a river

“dee, please take a break,” your hands worked on his shoulders — thumbs pushing on the knots and sore spots in the muscles, trying anything you could to get the red haired man to relax.

“y/n please — i’ll come to bed in a few more minutes, i just have to finish this-“ the quill was plucked out of his hands before you could finish — now dangling between your own fingertips.

“you said that the yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that — i know you dee — like that back of my hand,” you waved the back of your hand in an example, the smile on your face doing nothing to ease the furrow in his brow.

he was committed to finishing paperwork and documents — and if that meant forgoing a few nights of actual rest and calmness, then so be it.

but you were making that difficult.

“give me that,” diluc harshly grabbed the quill from your hand, not caring or registering if he had hurt you in the process.

he turned back to his work as soon as it was in his hand, but the moment didn’t last long.

“diluc-“ your hand reached down for the quill again, but were quickly shoved back as he stood from the chair.

“would you just give me some space!” his eyes and cheeks gleamed red, similar to the colour of his hair. “i can’t get any actual work done when your clinging to me like an animal in heat!” in the moment, diluc didn’t care if he had hurt you, and that was one of his many mistakes in that moment.

the quietness was tense and uncomfortable — dilucs heavy breathing, and the sound of soft fidgeting being the only things that could be heard.

“i’ll leave you be then,” you turned in that moment, the tears running freshly down your face the second your back was to the man.

diluc didn’t panic at first.

he had hurt you, yes — but you would let him cool down, calm, and finish was he was doing. that was all.

but the empty room that was once occupied by two and the quick feet that turned and walked in the other direction every time he was near — was enough to tell him the truth.

you left him to be on his own.

for good.

[storiesforallfandoms]

you’re my best friend ~ pete davidson

word count: 2002

request?: yes!

“pete friends to lovers”

description: in which two best friends get super sappy while drunk

pairing: pete davidson x female!reader

warnings: swearing, alcohol and weed usage

masterlist (one, two)

You were already two glasses of wine deep when Pete showed up, two cases of beer in his hands. He had a look of excitement on his face, which slowly fell when he realized there was no one else in your apartment.

“Everyone else cancelled,” you answered his unasked question.

“Everyone?” Pete asked.

You nodded. “Prior commitments or just not wanting to come or some shit.”

Pete came over and plopped himself down on the couch next to you. The case of beer was at his feet and he popped it open, taking out a bottle and immediately chugging it. You looked at him in amusement as he did so. Once he was finished, you asked, “Aren’t they warm?”

“Room temperature,” he corrected.

“Isn’t that gross?”

“A little, but obviously I have to catch up with you so we can be on even playing fields all night.”

You smiled and poured yourself another glass of wine as Pete opened another beer and started to drink again.

Between the heavy amounts of alcohol and the joint that Pete had brought, the two of you had gotten fucked up in no time. At some point you couldn’t even get up off the couch for more drinks, or for water that you both knew you should be drinking. The hangover you were going to have the next day was going to be killer, but in the moment neither one of you really cared.

You were both laid back on the couch, legs intertwined as you laughed at something Pete had said. It probably wasn’t even that funny, but in your inebriated state, everything was hilarious.

“You’re, like, my bestest friend, Pete,” you slurred. “No one else even bothered the show up, but you did!”

“I’m sure everyone else had like...stuff happening,” Pete said. “Adult things like...I don’t know...kids and taxes.”

You retched at the thought. “Yeah, no, I’m good with not having those adult things to do. Having kids, while extremely cute, is also extremely exhausting. But I don’t think anyone would’ve shown. No one else really...hangs out with me anymore.”

You laid your head back so you were looking at the ceiling. You could feel a lump growing in your throat and didn’t want Pete to see if you started crying. You knew this sudden emotion was most likely caused by the alcohol and the weed, but you also knew it was something genuine, a concern you had deep down that you had never voiced to anyone before.

You could hear Pete move to sit up and immediately turned your head away so he couldn’t see your face, even though you knew that looked more suspicious than anything.

“Everyone is busy, (Y/N),” he said, his voice soft. “I’m sure they’ll be able to hang out soon enough.”

“They’re not too busy to miss out on work get togethers, or going out with one another.” You sighed. “I know people grow apart and that’s just what happens when you grow up, I just didn’t think it was going to be all of my friends growing up and drifting apart all at the one time.”

“What am I, chopped liver?”

You giggled and sat up. The room spun around you as you did so and it felt like your stomach lurched. You had to take a moment to steady yourself before focusing your attention on Pete.

“I told you, you’re my bestest friend,” you said.

Pete’s smile slowly faded as he looked at you. “(Y/N), don’t cry please.”

You had forgotten about your emotional moment entirely. You wiped your cheek to find a wet streak running from your eye to your chin. You looked away from Pete again, suddenly feeling ashamed by your needless emotions. You were glad that the two of you were so drunk in that moment and would likely forget all of this the next day.

Pete’s hand lightly touched your chin, lifting it so that you were looking at him again. You looked into his eyes as he used his thumb to wipe the tears from your other cheek. Your breath caught in your throat as you realized how closely the two of you were sat together.

“I’ll always be here,” he assured you. “No matter how much we grow up or grow apart, I’ll always be one phone call away.”

You nodded, unable to get the words to unstick from your throat. You believed him, you knew he’d always be here.

The smell of beer and weed was strong as Pete leaned forward more, and normally you’d hate the smell combination. But you were too distracted by Pete’s eyes to notice, and a moment later you were too distracted by his lips on yours.

You had never viewed Pete as anything more than a friend before. You had grown up together. You were partners in crime since the first day you met in middle school. Your friends, and even your family, often made jokes that the two of you would end up together, but you both laughed it off. You were best friends, two peas in a pod, nothing more.

But now, with his lips moving against yours and his arms pulling you as close to him as you could get, you weren’t so sure. It could’ve been the drunken state the two of you were in, mixed with the emotions you were feeling just moments before. When the two of you sobered up the next day you may have not even remembered what happened, but in the moment you wanted all of him. You wanted his lips, his hands, his body, his heart, and you wanted to give him all of you in return.

His tongue brushed against your lips and you gladly let it in. It was wet and tasted like beer, so not the most romantic thing in the world, but it felt good in the moment. You felt like nothing could ruin what was happening, until your stomach lurched again.

You quickly pulled away from Pete and rushed to the bathroom. You didn’t even have time to kick the door closed behind you before you collapsed next to the toilet and threw up everything you had eaten and drank the past few hours. Pete followed closely behind you, pulling your hair back and gently rubbing your back. When you stopped throwing up for long enough, he got up to get you some water and made you drink it all before he did anything else.

“I didn’t think I was that bad of a kisser,” he joked. You glared at him over your shoulder before throwing up again.

Once you felt steady enough, Pete helped you to your feet. You brushed your teeth and took a mouthful of mouthwash in order to get rid of the taste of vomit. Pete helped you to your bedroom, where he had another glass of water and an Aspirin waiting for you.

“You’ll need that in the morning,” he said. “I’ll let you get changed.”

“You’ll stay with me though, right?” you asked. Suddenly you hated the thought of Pete having to leave.

He smiled. “Of course I will. I just want to give you some privacy while you change. You’re not supposed to see a girl naked till, like, the third date.”

You smiled back at him, a fuzzy feeling building inside of you at the thought of actually going on a date with Pete.

You changed into a pair of comfy pajamas and downed the glass of water Pete had left for you. You ventured out of your room to the kitchen to pour up another glass. You found Pete putting the bottles of beer in the recycling container and putting your glass in the sink.

“Why aren’t you as fucked up as I am right now?” you questioned.

“I could always handle my booze better than you,” he teased. You scowled and stuck your tongue out at him. He chuckled and put an arm around your shoulders. “Come on, let’s go to bed.”

After some convincing, Pete agreed to join you in bed. At first he laid a respectable distance away from you, but you moved close to him and placed your head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around you, running his hands through your hair as your eyes became too heavy to stay open.

“You’ll regret this in the morning,” he murmured. “Or forget it completely.”

“Maybe,” you said, “but let’s wait for the morning to decide that.”

~~~~~~

When you woke up the next morning you groaned in pain. Your head felt heavy and like it had been stabbed by multiple little needles. You opened your eyes but had to shut them again immediately, hissing at the pain that small action caused.

Why the fuck did I drink so much last night? you questioned as you braced yourself and opened your eyes again.

You found yourself alone in bed, which didn’t seem too unusual until you remembered that you hadn’t been alone when you fell asleep. Pete had been there, more specifically he had been cuddling you.

You’ll regret this in the morning, you recalled him saying before you drifted off to sleep. You wondered if he had left before you had the chance to decide how you felt about the events of the night before.

You popped two Aspirin pills into your mouth and swallows them with a mouthful of water. You pulled yourself out of bed and slowly walked out of your room, the only speed you could manage in this state. You were halfway to your kitchen when you realized you were smelling something; bacon. You wondered where the smell was coming from, and didn’t have to look far to get the answer.

Pete was stood by your stove, two plates full of eggs and toast already sat next to him. When he heard you enter, he turned and greeted you with a smile.

“Good morning sleeping beauty!” he said. His loud voice pierced your ears and you quickly covered them and groaned. He chuckled. “You poor thing, you’re gonna hate today.”

“I already do,” you said. “Is that for me?”

He looked down at the plate of breakfast. “One of them is, yeah. Do you think you can keep it down?”

“I can try.”

The two of you sat at your dining room table and began to eat. Although your stomach still didn’t feel right, the food was definitely soaking up whatever alcohol was left in your system and thus was making the splitting headache you had subside just a little bit.

There was an awkward silence looming over the two of you. Despite what you thought the night before, you could still remember every detail; the emotional conversation, the kiss, the cuddling, how you felt when the latter two things were happening. You knew Pete remembered because he certainly wasn’t as fucked up as you were.

“Do you regret it?” you found yourself suddenly asking.

Pete looked up from his breakfast, fake confusion on his face. “What do you mean?”

You gave him a look. “Pete, I remember last night. I remember what we did, and what you said before I fell asleep.”

He sighed, turning his attention back to his food. “I don’t know...do you regret it?”

“I don’t,” you admitted. “If anything, I...I feel whatever the opposite of regret is. The only thing I regret is getting so drunk I threw up after we kissed.”

He smiled. “Yeah, that’s not exactly great timing.”

You looked at him, still waiting for his answer. Finally, he looked up at you again and said, “I don’t regret it either.”

“So what do we do now?” you asked.

Pete thought for a moment before saying, “I take you out on a date, one where we’re both completely sober, and we decide if we really want to do this. How does that sound?”

You smiled brightly at him. “I think that sounds like a great plan.”

[mahvericks]

load up on guns // john wick

Summary; y/n was supposed to stay hidden but decided to start taking care of the problem herself.

Warnings; violence, a long fighting scene, some swearing, blood, murders, kinda graphic, me messing around with the timelines bc the whole trilogy of john wick is set in 2014 🤠

Words count; 3,2k

I’m sorry for the way too long fight scene, I hope you guys won’t mind too much!

ебать = fuck

@xxxtwilightaxelxxx @mcgrathandwives

Prelude | chapter two | chapter three | chapter four | chapter five | chapter six | chapter seven | chapter eight | chapter nine | chapter ten

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The Red Circle hadn’t been an easy place to infiltrate- you didn’t except it to be as it was owned by one of the biggest russian mobster, but when you overheard a conversation of why the security had been increased, it all started to make sense.

Even if you didn’t hear much, you knew just enough- one of the most notorious and feared assassin, John Wick, was hunting Iosef Tarasov, the son of Viggo Tarasov, who happened to be your main target.

When you landed in New York, you only had one reason to do so- getting rid of the Tarasov’s clan, which would be the very first step to take down the Red Room. It definitely wasn’t going to be easy to get rid of a powerful family but you had to do it before they could cause more harm.

And no one would get to interfere with your plan, no matter if it was also to kill them- it was your mission and you weren’t going to let another assassin do it for you. If you had to get rid of John Wick yourself, you were ready to do so.

So far, you didn’t spot anyone suspect in the club, it seemed like you were the only one with different intentions inside of the club and hopefully, it would stay that way. You had noticed over ten security guards in this room as it was the one where Iosef was partying, but it was nothing you couldn’t handle.

To get inside, you had already taken down two guards and surprisingly no one seemed to notice, you did hide the bodies but with how busy the Red Circle was, you expected them to be found by now. It was almost disappointing.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Leaning against a wall, hidden by big white curtains, you were watching Iosef who was drunk enjoying his time with women in a pool. You had been waiting for an opportunity to get close enough to kill him- while you didn’t mind killing the guards as they were working for the Tarasovs, you didn’t want to kill those girls who weren’t involved in their business.

One of your bad personality traits was how impatient you were- now to be honest, you weren’t sure that you had a personality as only two weeks ago you were still mind controlled by the leader of the Red Room.

Your impatience was close to get the best of you and push you to go to Iosef now, especially since you despised the loud music the club was blasting, which only made you want to finish this as soon as possible before you’d get a headache from that terrible music.

But your plans weren’t exactly going to go as you planned as you heard the door behind you opening. No one was supposed to come from there as you got rid of the two guards that were in that direction. Before you could even see the face of the person about to enter the room, you had your gun pointed to their head.

This person wasn’t one of the guard for sure or you would have seen him before already, but the way he was dressed, the gun in his hands- he wasn’t there to party which meant it could only be him, John Wick.

Squinting your eyes, you looked him up and down, trying to analyze the possible weapons he had on him- the way he was dressed in all black didn’t help you to see if he was hiding weapons. This was going to be a rougher night than you thought it would be when you first stepped inside the club.

You didn’t move when the assassin you were facing took a step closer to you- which almost seemed surprising to him. People usually would get scared when the boogeyman was going after them. Not you though, you didn’t even know how it felt to be intimidated by someone.

Being a hundred percent sure of what was going to happen next was impossible but you were pretty sure you could guess right what his next move would be. Neither of you could use your gun as it would alert the guards and Iosef would be able to escape, which is why you excepted him to disarm you.

As you excepted this to happen, you managed to take his gun right at the same time and pointed it back at him. That being said, you didn’t like having your gun taken away from you, and did the exact same thing that John Wick did when he took your gun, but just as you grabbed your gun, you kicked back your opponent in the stomach. 

You took the spare second you had to put your gun on the side as it was still of no use and launched yourself onto the assassin who was waiting for you as you found yourself tackled down on the floor, John on top of you trying to strangle you. Feeling the pressure on each side of your throat, you started to struggle to breathe.

You were doing your best to fight and kick back but John was definitely stronger than you. Having no other choice but especially no time left, you kicked your opponent in the groin. His hands directly left your neck and you were able to breathe again. Having to think quick before he would come at you again, you took the knife that was hidden in the back of your pant. 

Launching yourself at the boogeyman, he couldn’t tackle you down this time and only dodged your first few strikes at him before trying to kick the knife out of your hands- it was your time to dodge his attacks, You managed to take a hold of his right arm and kicked his legs, making him fall on the floor again. Before you could do anything, the assassin kicked your tibia with enough strength to make you fall on your knees.

This time John was quicker to get on his feet and pushed you against the back wall with the grip he had on your jacket. To free yourself from his tight grip, you managed to slip off your jacket, rolling behind your opponent you jumped on his back and strongly getting a hold of his arm, you managed to reverse yourself and wrap your thighs around his neck to choke him, making the two of you fall to the ground.

As hard as you were trying to suffocate your opponent, the way he kept trying to move and make you break your move made it harder for you. Being way taller than you were, you could keep all of his arm and hand still, which he took this opportunity to hit you in the nose.

While not breaking your move, the hit was enough for you to soften your grip on him- John didn’t need more to take this opportunity and turns the situation at his advantage and finally broke free from you.

This fight was getting annoying as you didn’t seem to find a way to beat him and you were worried that if it kept going on you would end up being spotted and you would miss your chance of taking down your target.

Knowing your quickest chance of taking him out was still your knife, you rushed to grab it but as you were about to take it, John- who was still on the floor, grabbed your ankle and made you fall face first, this ended up hurting more than when he hit you in the nose.

Just like when the fight broke between the two of you, John found himself on top of you trying to strangle you, but this time, you were doing the same thing as you were putting all your strength on applying pressure on each side of his neck.

This time, you knew you probably wouldn’t be able to counter him, that you would stop breathing before him and just when you started to feel dizzy, you remembered the promise you made to Yelena before leaving for New York- you wouldn’t die before being reunited.

“ Truce? ” you managed to say as you let go on his neck to show him you were sincere.

The man didn’t say anything but stopped strangling you. Coughing a few times, you were finally able to breathe again. If you had to be honest, you didn’t think he would stop until you completely stopped breathing.

“ You’re not one of them. ”

“ Thanks for noticing,” scoffing you got up and got closer to the curtains to check if Iosef was still there, “ thought it was obvious from the get go.”

“ Why are you here? What do you want?”

“ From you? Nothing. I’m only here to take down the Tarasovs.”

“ So am I.”

Chuckling, you went to take back your knife and gun, “ I know. Pretty sure I heard you wanted revenge. So do I. Viggo is my target, and to get to him there’s no better way than killing his only child.”

“ Revenge too?”

“ Yes and no. Listen, I hate to suggest this but we can take them down easily and get to Iosef. Let me have a shot at him, if I miss you get to kill him.”

Frowning, the assassin didn’t seem to like the idea neither, but it was still more efficient than trying to kill each other at the moment, “ no. ”

“ So what? Wanna keep fighting till they notice us? Sure that definitely sounds like a much better idea than mine. ”

You didn’t like the way John Wick stayed silent, just as if he was actually pondering the idea, “ c’mon don’t be an ass! ”

“ Fine but we do it my way. ”

It sounded like a great deal, doing it how John wanted and in exchange you could take the first shot at Iosef. You didn’t think you could get a better deal anyway.

“ We will take down the guards first, that way if it goes south we won’t have to deal with all of them at the same time. Then we get to Iosef.”

This definitely wouldn’t have been your way of doing it, you would have directly gone to the target, eventually getting rid of a guard on your way but not taking down all of them. This sounded like a shitload of work.

“ Alright,” following your word, you dramatically bended forward, extending your arm in direction of the door, “ you go first. ”

The man didn’t seem amused by your gesture, rather ignoring it and going first- probably because you had already lost too much time fighting against each other.

Following him, you let your acquaintance for the night take down the closest guard while you took down the second one with your knife. So far, everything seemed to go well as you both managed to stay silent and go unnoticed.

Repeating the same process, the two of you got rid of two other guards- the four guards you had just killed were quite easy to take down as they were at most average, not particularly tall or buff. When you got into another room that happened to be empty, you noticed that you could shoot your target from here.

In a second, your hand was in your pocket grabbing the silencer you had brought with you, “ I can shoot him from here.”

“ Than make it quick.”

Rolling your eyes, you raised your gun with the intention of aiming at Iosef but before you could do so, a guard entered the room- your acquaintance went to take care of him with his knife but the guard got to disarm his opponent before launching himself at the boogeyman.

Hitting the shelf where was all of the clean towels that was used as a separation wall, the both of them fell, revealing the presence of the boogeyman and you, “ ебать! ”

While the two men were fighting, you shot a guard coming your way before he could take his gun out. Panicked screams were coming from everywhere, which only made it harder to hear them come. Now that your ally had the upper hand over his opponent, you watched as he looked dead in the eyes of Iosef. At that moment, you were persuaded that he was about to shoot him without letting you try first.

Surprisingly, he must had remembered the deal you had as he ended up shooting the guard on the floor instead. Now that you guys had been spotted, it was probably your last chance to shoot Iosef, which you were about to do before a huge man came out of the pool and tried to disarm your acquaintance.

Sighing in frustration, you chose to shoot the man behind each of his knees instead of finally trying to kill your target. The assassin finished the job by shooting the huge man in the chest and to finish him off, put a bullet in his head.

Iosef took one of the girls that were in the pool with him in hostage to use her as a shield, you didn’t really care if she was a collateral damage or not as long as you could kill Viggo’s son, your ally on the other hand wasn’t having any of this, “ don’t! ”.

You couldn’t really explain why you listen to him at that moment, maybe because you didn’t want him to break off the deal you had before getting out of here. Once Iosef left the girl to run away on his own, you shot another guard and reloaded your gun- during that incredibly short span of time, more guards came into the room and your associate had to drag you to take cover behind some furniture.

Once you were done reloading your gun, the both of you started to run towards the stairs that previously took Iosef, thankfully the bullets shot by the guards didn’t touch neither of you due to the glass around the stairs protecting you two. Getting on the new room, it was harder to spot any enemy as everyone was dancing on the dancefloor to the loud music.

The two of you slowly made your way through the people dancing, killing a few guards on your way to the back of the room where was another staircase. You went first and took down the two guards that where right at the door by kicking one in the throat, you then jumped on the other one, wrapping your thigh around their neck to bring them down on the ground with you. 

You first shot the one on the floor with you and then the second one, both in the head. Some of the guards coming your way were taken care off by the boogeyman, The whole room turned into a full shoutout as more guards came in, you both were shooting right and left on every guards until one came from behind and threw you against the whole.

Wincing from the pain of hitting the back of your head against the wall, you were quickly on your feet and shot him down. The next room was simply the first floor of the dancefloor one- where obviously more people were dancing. People were quick to run away when they heard gunshots, you let your ally take down the guards as you started to run after Iosef as you were so close to get to him.

Unfortunately, you were stopped right in your tracks by the leader of the security and who you guessed to be his right hand man- you literally had to throw yourself on the floor to dodge the bullets they shot at the two of you. He didn’t seem to have as much luck as you as you saw him get shot. Cursing under your breath, you shot the right hand man in the head but missed the leader.

Being the first one back on your feet, you started to run back from where you were coming from and helped the assassin to get back on his feet by grabbing his arm. You both hid behind a pilar and waited a few seconds for the security leader to get back to you who you managed to disarm and throw on the floor like you previously did with other guards. 

The guard seemed to be ready to be thrown on the ground as he kicked you in the face, especially hitting your nose- just as if you hadn’t been hit enough in the nose for the night. The guard launched himself on your associate while you stayed on the ground to catch your breath. The leader of the security soon grabbed a champagne bottle and broke it on your friend’s shoulder before stabbing him in the stomach with it.

You didn’t have time to react that the guard had your friend on his shoulders and threw him down from the first floor. You tried to shoot him but the bullet only grazed the side of his neck. Realizing he had no cover, he chose to run away instead of fighting you. 

Making your way at the edge of the balcony, the assassin wasn’t laying down on the floor anymore- at least he was alive, you thought. Annoyed that you didn’t get to kill Iosef like you had planned to, you walked out of the club, mixing in with the people that were running outside.

Going to the back of the building, you heard the voice of your acquaintance when you were inside of the club- he was on the phone with someone and you found yourself to be surprised to hear russian. When he ended the call, you watched as he struggled to walk without being in pain and took pity of him. You walked up to him, “ do y’all always hit people in the nose in America? ”

“ Thought you had left already and no. ”

“ I was about to. You need help? ”

“ I’ve been way worse than that, I’ll be fine. ”

Shrugging, you didn’t listen to him and put his arm around your shoulders so he could lean on you for support, “ I don’t doubt it, but it’s stupid to refuse my help when we’re heading to the same place, Mr. Wick.”

“ You know who I am? ”

Scoffing, you were almost offended that he believed you were unaware enough to not know who John Wick was, “ everyone knows you or at least your name, Mr.Wick. ”

“ Call me John. What’s your name? ”

“ Y/N- I think? ”

Seemed like your not so conventional answer made John curious, “ you think? ”

“ I had a lot of names or aliases. Marcy, Diana, Paola, Viktoria- sometimes it’s hard to remember what’s your real name or even who truly you are. ”

“ I get that. Where did you learn to fight this well? ”

This was truly the million-dolar question and you would rather dodge it than answer it truthfully, “ training of course. Why? You want some lessons? ”