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ilguna · 2 years

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☼ her (Johanna Mason) ☼

summary; ' Hi hi!! I wanna request a Johanna Mason x f!reader where the reader was also a tribute in her games from a different district who died before the finale (lots of angst lol) maybe written from present time Johanna looking back? Tysm, I love your work! ‘

warnings; swearing, murder, murder plot, death in small detail

wc; 3.8k

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Johanna Mason should not have been the winner of the Seventy-First Hunger Games.

There was another girl, much kinder with soft eyes and a pretty smile. She tried to include Johanna in everything that she did, she was much more deserving of the title. The District Five girl—like everyone else—had fallen right into Johanna’s hands, believing that she really was useless. The difference between her and them, was instead of laughing and leaving her out, she went out of her way to invite Johanna to join her.

Johanna can’t pretend that she was friends with her from the beginning. They came from two different districts, neither of them important enough to pose a threat. She was more focused on the dangerous tributes, One, Two and Four. She had to know the careers, what game they were going to play so that Johanna could play the opposite.

It wasn’t until Johanna watched the recap again, did she begin to take the other tributes into consideration. She didn’t have to know their names, or what they were wearing, only their reactions to being reaped for that year’s Hunger Games. Well, fortunately for that Five girl, she was the first to be called after District Four, when Johanna was still halfway interested in her competition.

(Y/n), that’s all that stuck with Johanna. Not the last name, because that would never be useful. She lifted her head from the crowd, eyes finding the stage, before moving into the aisle without a fight. She’d been the first tribute that hadn’t made a scene about being reaped. Johanna could tell that she wasn’t from anywhere important, what she was wearing wasn’t expensive. It was the attitude that stood out to her, the way she smiled.

The other tributes behind her weren’t as amazing, none of them posed a threat, much less the tributes from Eleven and Twelve, who might have well been still sucking on pacifiers. Johanna would fit right in with the outcasts, the babies that’d been reaped. She had this plan since she turned twelve.

If Johanna were to ever be reaped, she would want to be underestimated. All the tributes before her had a big name, an ego, showing their cards to prove they were the best. What happens when you aren’t? She’d never seen a hidden tribute come out on top like that, none of them could ever make it. She could.

She was never after the name, only the win. She wanted to make it home, just like everyone else. It wasn’t her fault that she came up with the brilliant idea early on. She cried on stage when she was reaped, her eyes were puffy and red. Her tribute partner took the news way better than she did, obviously. He wasn’t full of tears, it was mostly shock.

In the Capitol, she kept playing up the act, crying during her remake. Enough to the point where her prep team ordered her to stop, where she played it up more to make them feel bad. They also fell into the trap, it was too easy to do. The stylist dressed her as a tree, as he’d done for three decades without being replaced. It’s like the stylists that dress the One and Two tributes the same every year too.

Johanna remembers walking out of the building, out onto the open floor, where the chariots and other tributes were waiting for the show to start to get it over with. The careers were dressed in their usual attire, other districts were just as unlucky as Johanna when it came to repeated outfits.

Except, the Five stylists had come up with something different that year. Instead of messing around with lightbulbs and glitter, they’d switched to another source of power, fire. It wasn’t like they’d done with Katniss, lighting her on fire and leaving her to burn on the chariot. There was nothing of the sort, it was all said in the outfit.

(Y/n) was dressed like a candle, the entire dress lopsided, heavier on one side than the other. It was long, for the most part. On the left, the fabric was longer on the sleeves, the dress pooled on the ground, like melted candle wax collecting at the base. On the right, the dress was off the shoulder, cutting low on her breast. That side of the dress was cut off at the middle of her thigh, because sometimes candle’s don’t melt evenly.

For the first time in years, District Five had the spotlight during the Tribute Parade. Johanna’s not sure why, the dress wasn’t anything to gawk at. The jewelry didn’t convey it properly, and she quite literally had a headband with a black stick on the top of her head to symbolize the wick. It’s not like it mattered in the end, anyway. The craze was short-lived.

It wasn’t until the training started, did Johanna really get the taste of her. From the moment they were released by the Head Trainer, (Y/n) stuck next to Johanna like glue, but unlike glue, the girl was unshakable. It was irritating, to some extent. Johanna went from being subtle about wanting to be alone, trying to use her crying act to get her away, only it brought her in more.

So, she asked (Y/n) to leave.

It didn’t work, which meant that Johanna was going to have a shadow following her for the rest of the time they were inside of the Capitol. The weird girl from Five, who’d smiled during the reaping and managed to catch some eyes during the Tribute Parade, was now Johanna’s friend.

Johanna wasn’t completely rude about the situation, it was her own fault that her act was working so well. And over the three training days, she learned to appreciate (Y/n), because she was giving Johanna cover. The sympathy and the teaching was proving to the other tributes that she wasn’t a threat, and to continue to overlook her.

The issue is, that over the period of three days, Johanna was talking to her, hearing about where she came from, why she was there, who she was. The answer to those should be obvious, but they’re not. (Y/n) wasn’t just a girl from District Five, she was an early worker that came from the dam, with too many siblings to feed. That’s why her name was drawn from the bowl, because she kept putting her name in for Tessera.

She was there because of herself, and she was grateful she was drawn because she’d never have the courage to volunteer. She was seventeen, the same age as Johanna. In one more year, she wouldn’t have to worry about going inside of the arena, ever again, but that would also take away the ability to win. To have a steady amount of money coming from the government each month. It would feed her siblings better than she ever could.

In a way, (Y/n) was crazy for thinking like that, yet it didn’t push Johanna away from her. It drew her closer, because if she was so desperate to win to feed her family, then why was she making friends with people who showed no threat of winning? Because Johanna wasn’t the only person that she went around talking to, there were others. The only reason why she didn’t stick with them is because they told her to leave.

Besides, if (Y/n) thought she was doing people favors by trying to recruit them, she was actually damning them. She didn’t know much, that was clear from the beginning. The only things she really managed to succeed at were the basics. She could start a fire, she knew how to clean a wound and stitch it if it were necessary, she was able to hold a weapon without going down with it. She was ordinary.

So was the score she earned from the training, a six. Halfway on the scale, nothing sponsors could work with. The Gamemakers thought she wasn’t special, why should the people spending the money think otherwise? The only outstanding part of her so far was the outfit during the Tribute Parade, an idea that wasn’t hers. She just wore it.

Johanna wouldn’t see her for the next day and a half, something that she’d been looking forward to since the first day of training. Only, when the day came around, the silence was filled the way she wanted it to be. With (Y/n) she can direct the conversation so that she enjoys it too. Johanna spent hours on end between her stupid Capitol escort and mentors that couldn’t give a shit about what she does during the interviews.

When that night did finally come, (Y/n) found Johanna as soon as she walked into the hallway. For the first time since she came into the Capitol, (Y/n) was serious, approaching Johanna. Johanna couldn’t have guessed what was going to come next, the deadpan expression, asking if she would join her in an alliance.

Johanna told her no. It wasn’t because she didn’t want an alliance, because she knew how much smoother it would go in the arena if she had someone to watch her back. It was because she knew that (Y/n) could find a better partner inside. Johanna had scored a three, the lowest a Seven tribute had gotten in years. If (Y/n) had even the slightest chance at getting people to sponsor her, it would be wiped out by Johanna’s presence alone.

That wasn’t the only reason, though. The more Johanna talked to her, and began liking her, the harder it would be to kill her later on. Johanna came in with a game plan, one that couldn’t be screwed up by being soft around another tribute. It’s simple: she plays the damsel card, and then she viciously murders. There was no middle part where she formed her own group. It was straightforward to avoid the whole conflicted-murder part.

Well, (Y/n) took it better than Johanna thought she would. For a second, it looked like she was going to argue, explain why they would be better together. And then she nodded, wished Johanna good luck, and then left to get back to her place in line. It was disappointing, not hearing her beg Johanna to stay.

On stage, (Y/n) had the brightest smile, nodding at Caesar, easily conversing with him. She talked about her family, what she’ll do when she wins. She showed off the dress she was wearing, which was navy blue in color and puffy. She twirled for the audience, and then curtsied at the end of her interview, thanking them for her time.

Johanna, on the other hand, couldn’t have put on a better act. She was shy, and on the brink of tears the entire time. It was painful for Caesar, she got gratification from watching him squirm to keep the conversation going. What do you say to someone so fragile without triggering the tears? Johanna maybe said ten words total in the three minutes she was given. Caesar resorted to yes or no questions.

Then the arena came around, the cornucopia was in the middle of a forest. They were surrounded by tall pine trees, needles and cones scattered across the ground. It was dark, the sun could hardly get through their strong branches. For once, there was a landscape aimed for the Seven tributes, maybe it was to taunt the mentors, because their tributes were so weak.

It didn’t matter to Johanna, she could hardly hold back the smile. It took all the power inside of her not to run to the cornucopia like she wanted to. She could see the axes outside, on display to her and her tribute partner. Instead, she ran away, like she was destined to, far into the trees to hide.

She was by herself, still playing up the act, because the only audience that was left at that moment were the people in the Capitol. She couldn’t have the mentors quietly telling their tributes to keep an eye on her, to hunt her down. She’d let the tributes figure that out on their own, let them come to her.

The first day, eight tributes died, one of them being a career, leaving five left over. She camped out near a large clearing of only grass, not a single flower in sight. On the second day, two of them were gone, presumably by the career pack, searching for victims. The next five days would be quiet, not a single tribute.

Johanna was found out in the clearing by the five careers. And thinking she would be an easy victim, they chased her for hours through the trees, where she drove them in circles and deeper so that it would be harder for them to navigate their way back to the cornucopia. If she couldn’t have it, then no one could, especially them. It just meant that she had to be careful when moving.

Unfortunately for her, she wasn’t completely unscathed. The girl from Four was smart, she managed to get Johanna across the cheek and good gash into her upper arm. The wound on her face had stopped bleeding after a few hours, but the one on her arm was a whole new story. It was too deep, the only thing that could heal it was the Capitol, or anything from the cornucopia, now out of the question because even she couldn’t find it at that point.

It only took one day before another tribute ran across Johanna, this time at night. She’d lit a fire because it was getting cold, adn with the density of the woods, she believed that she’d be safe. The careers were supposed to be miles away, the branches would cover the smoke. If they did find her, she’d outrun them again.

It wasn’t a career that found her, it was (Y/n).

She had a forest green backpack, with an ax strapped to the side of it. Her hair was messy, like she kept moving it out of her face without running her fingers through it entirely to smooth it out. In one of her hands was a knife, clean but prepared to use it if she needed to.

The moment she saw Johanna, she lowered the weapon and smiled, “Johanna.” She breathed.

The reason why Johanna hadn’t bled to death, or caught some nasty infection that would’ve taken off her arm, is because of (Y/n). Disregarding the fact that they were now inside of the arena, and it would be fair game to murder her. They weren’t friends, Johanna thought she’d established that at the interviews by saying no to her offer. Still, here she was, cleaning the wound in her arm, stitching it, and bandaging it.

She took the ax from her backpack and handed it to Johanna as a peace offering, saying that she needed a weapon too. It was a risky gesture, just handing the ax over without her own knife out. Still, Johanna played up the fact that she really couldn’t hold it, and insisted that (Y/n) kept it for safety. She shrugged.

Once again, she offered the alliance, this time Johanna said yes.

That same night, the careers saw the light from the fire, and managed to come close enough to the point where running wouldn’t have saved either of them. They’d already killed two people earlier that day, bringing the count down to ten tributes left in the arena, Johanna couldn’t possibly have known that they would go for more. However, she should’ve known better.

(Y/n) couldn’t fight, she could hold a sword in her hand, but she didn’t have a sword, she had a knife. It was Johanna, who could actually wield the ax and take down tributes. She only had a second to decide, either give up her act and save (Y/n), or throw her to the wolves and run.

The other option didn’t even exist to her.

The ax came off the backpack, Johanna getting to her feet, holding it in her hand. She remembers (Y/n) calling her name, telling her to back off, because she’d get herself killed. The careers sneered, she can still see that stupid expression. Right before she swung the ax into the boy’s head. Effectively wiping the look off their faces, and forcing them to take a reality check.

Johanna only killed one more, even though she was going to take down the whole pack if she could. They all left, scattering in the trees, leaving the two of them with the bodies. It was an unfair fight, Johanna was fairly surprised that they didn’t take the risk, gang up on Johanna and then take down (Y/n).

That’s what Johanna would’ve done.

To say that her ally was speechless would be an understatement. Johanna had barely moved to look at her friend, and (Y/n) had jerked away, eyes locked with hers. It was more than just shock, there was fear there too. Johanna’s plan had worked, she cried her way into the arena, and she had no right to feel her heart drop to her stomach when the only tribute she’d made as a friend, had wanted nothing to do with her.

“I won’t hurt you.” Johanna told her, dropping the ax. She didn’t want to drive (Y/n) away, that was the last thing she wanted now. She risked everything to save her, why would she ruin that now? “I promise you’re not a target, you never were. I did it because of the careers.”

“What does a promise mean here?” She’d asked, “How do I know?”

“I would’ve killed you the moment you handed me the ax, wouldn’t I?” Johanna shot back, defensive, “Go, if you want.”

(Y/n) held her ground, obviously trembling, eyebrows drawn together as she examined Johanna, if she was telling the truth. She must’ve come out with an answer she liked, because she loosened, let out a breath, and shook her head, “You have another cut, come here so I can heal you.”

The two of them got closer, mostly because they were around each other constantly, sharing their knowledge. What (Y/n) picked up in the Training Center had come in handy, even if it wasn’t a lot. One of those skills turned out to be important, what she’d been using to find Johanna.

She knew how to track.

It only took a day before she found a path, it didn’t belong to the careers, but it did bring them to a smaller alliance, between the remaining Ten and Six tributes. There, Johanna killed them both, bringing the number of tributes from eight to six. The remaining tributes were the three careers, her and (Y/n), and a lone tribute.

Finding the other tributes were harder, another three days passed before (Y/n) thought she found the careers. It had multiple footprints, which could only belong to one group, and it wasn’t theirs. Because the number would be uneven, (Y/n) wanted to come with, help Johanna take down the three careers because that wasn’t going to be an easy feat.

Johanna told her to keep put. She didn’t need someone following her around, having another body to protect would make it hard to focus. So, she stuck her inside of a hollow tree, and went off to kill the careers alone.

That’s what she thought, anyway. Johanna got all the way to the camp, finding only two of them, and it didn’t tick her off in any way, even though it should’ve. Three careers left, and she could only see two of them? The third’s got to be lurking somewhere nearby, right? That’s what makes sense. Johanna overlooked that fact, and it costed a life that she cared about.

She’d killed one career, moving onto the second, when there was a scream behind her. She didn’t turn right away, not until the job in front of her was done. When she did see the scene going on, it was too late.

(Y/n) had wrapped her body around the boy that was creeping up to Johanna, bringing them both to the ground in a struggle. It wasn’t, though. It was easy for the boy to stab her, because he pinned her wrist to the ground and stabbed her over and over, draining every remaining minute of her life with each puncture.

Johanna killed him too, and barely had enough time to cradle her friend’s dying body.

She can still feel (Y/n)’s hand touching her cheek, fingers lazily wiping away one of Johanna’s tears. The pretty smile returned to her face, this time her teeth stained red with the blood she was resisting to cough up in Johanna’s face. The words were quiet, it took all the effort in her body to say.

“You’re going to win.”

(Y/n) died less than a minute later, eyes as lifeless as her body. Johanna could hardly muster the strength to close her eyelids before leaving the career camp, hoping that the trees would catch fire and leave a burning path behind her. She didn’t realize the impression that (Y/n) had left on her.

Johanna killed the last tribute without a problem, being crowned the victor. It didn’t feel right, though, as if there was a spot next to her that was empty, that should’ve been full. She knew what the problem was, who was missing. It was the girl that had succeeded in burrowing her way into Johanna’s heart and calling it home.

There are times where Johanna closes her eyes and wishes that she could have just one more conversation with her. To hear what she’d have to say about everything now. This is what she would’ve wanted, peace for the districts for once. Here, everyone’s fed and never hungry.

Johanna wishes she were alive.

(Y/n) would be better at this whole rebel thing than Johanna is. She’d know what to say, she’d give everything she could to help the people around her. Johanna doesn’t even know why she’s here anymore, being asked to go out there for Katniss. (Y/n) would be a perfect fit for Johanna’s role.

Johanna misses her like she misses her family. She’d give anything to hear her laugh one more time, the endless advice as if Johanna was completely clueless. The teamwork, the smiles. Johanna shouldn’t be here today, it should be her.

It’s not fair that the good ones get taken first.

(Y/n) (L/n) should have been the winner of the Seventy-First Hunger Games.

#ilguna #johanna mason #johanna mason imagine #johanna mason x reader #johanna mason oneshot #johanna mason fanfic #thg #the hunger games #requested

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shihalyfie · 2 years

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Hey so this isn't an Ask/Meta but I just wanna thank you for making a blog like this! I've fallen back into the Digimon hole due to a mix of recent (Digimon Survive and the Cyber Sleuth duology) and adjacent things (Joined a Tabletop group thats playing Animon Story, which is inspired by Digimon and it's ilk), so reading several years(?) worth of catch-up on fandom/public perception and analyses has been a big help for this revived fan.

Thank you so much! Welcome back to Digimon as well! I myself only started this blog here (or technically the first version of it before it got flagged and I had to remake it) in mid-2020 based on the combination of Kizuna and the reboot inciting discussion, plus the pandemic making me really bored and thus leading to a rewatch party, so I understand exactly what you mean in this regard. I wrote more than I thought I would ever be capable of in the last two years, so I hope the backlog isn't too intimidating, but I also hope it can be useful for your needs! This is mostly 02 (and by logical extension Adventure)-centric, but there's a bit of everything, and I'm still working on a Survive thing back here.

Most of the stuff on this blog came out of discussions springing from my group rewatch two years ago (...and some other groups' watches; seems like rewatching Digimon during the pandemic was a pretty popular thing to do) and current discussions with the group chat I discuss it with, so some of it is derived from observations over the years, some of it comes from observations others have made, and some even from friends showing the series to people completely new to the series to hear what they have to say. (There are fandom mantras that don't have good basis but are taken for granted just because they've been circulating in the echo chamber for 15+ years, so outside opinions from outside the chamber are valuable, and it's also very necessary to constantly reconsider whether something is actually accurate or whether it's something questionable that everyone just happens to repeat all the time. Some of the things I've been saying here probably come off as me making really hot takes because they often go against fandom conventional wisdom...but really I think I just have too much conviction for my own good ^^;) It's ultimately just my way of seeing it in the end, I can only speak for myself and what I agree/disagree with after all, but if it can be interesting or useful in any way then I think I've done my job.

I haven't been able to do long-form meta the way I used to ever since I stopped working from home, but I am at least still preparing the Survive stuff, and I'm trying my best to stick around to talk about shorter things here and there as much as I can. Either way, I'm glad to be helpful in any way! Once again, thank you so much for reading!

#shiha's ask box #toblo1

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gissyfanime · 5 days

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A lot to unpack (An update to tell in the time and place.)

So, it's been a while since my last update but I have been wanting to talk about some stuff for a bit.

Firstly, I want to thank you all who follow me who has been very patient with me. Sometimes I'm not even patient with myself, truth be told. Secondly, in the past couple of weeks, I have been in a sorta rut when it comes creative works in general, Not to say I haven't been productive, the Fanime Realm website (despite some down periods) has been going very well. Just when it comes to my own projects, I'm just stuck on the floor at least until recently.

Carrot Fluffs Remake

I won't lie, I had been down creatively with due to things piling up from the period where the VA for Hirtemio and Soepekia couldn't do his lines due to computer issues to factors that made me want to get a new voice cast for everyone except those two characters to the idea of all of this under the time frame for the 10th anniversary for original fanime. I just feel a lil' burnt out with this specifically that I kinda wanna save it for the 11th anniversary. It's a shame since the #10 is the magic number but really, I do think it is for the best.

which leads me to something that I something that I kinda wanna bring up

Xariko's Tetris Mayhem

youtube

Okay… sooo, this fucking fanime. If you couldn't already tell, yes, the YT Channel hosting Xariko's Tetris Mayhem (Moeblob Crapshoot) is being run by me. So, for this fanime specifically just kinda went out of fucking no where and there are reasons for that. Aside from what I am about to get into for the next section, I wanted to make a fanime that started with the letter "X" (the fact there was none of that in the FR website was bothering the shit outta me for the longest while, SABEDGBEFKDBJOWEJWQO) Initially, I was hoping someone else would've done that but given everyone else has lives, I've decided to be the change I wanted to be. This is a more casual series, it's gonna be part me venting about certain this via "metaphors", part my obsession with Tetris, and part sudo-Yumejoshi stuff. Now, why start up new YT channel for this fanime?

Well…

General Stuff + Decentralization

You see, I have been feeling a bit of pressure (that I have kinda put upon myself, just to be clear.) when it comes to being able to complete a fanime. For those not in the now, I am one of the very few people within the fanime community that has a crap ton of finished series. Now granted, a lot of them are in the format I like to come back to since 2014 (The Visual Novel Style Format) but a lot of folks (at least in some fanime discords) do look up to me for having that many finished projects. And while I am happy that I am able to keep that reputation….. another part of me is like "….Oh shit… I have a reputation to keep…. oh dear lord". Soooo, that's why the main reason why I made Moeblob Crapshoot; it's a more relaxed channel for me to not having to worry about finishing a fanime. And don't worry, I will still upload to Eva Charat Staff as it is a channel for finished fanime (as well as wanting to get better with my animation skills, as slow as that is.); it's just Moeblob Crapshoot is will before fanime not in either of that ballpark.

Now, I know some folks are going to have their eyebrows raised with this decision, especially for those that want to keep their works more centralized but really, I'm not exactly the only person within the fanime community who make a separate channel for specific type of fanimes that is not on their main fanime channels. And plus, you wanna hear a not-secret? Before Moeblob Crapshoot was even a thing in my mind and sometime last year, I wanted to make two separate YT Channels for animations and other stuff I wouldn't want centralized on Eva Charat Staff. This was way before I came up with an actually good solution to my personal dilemma by planning on having those projects be exclusive to sites like WeVidi and Newgrounds respectively.

Anyways, sorry for this long read but I hope ya'll understand where I'm coming from. Hope you have a good one at take care.

#fanime #fanime community #fanime alliance #carrot fluffs #xariko's tetris mayhem #indie anime #web series #Youtube

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kbelflower · 1 year

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I've been thinking a lot about recording my train of thought in some way - it's just been rattling around in my brain for years now, like an itch I wanna scratch but don't know exactly how to reach. So, I guess I'll just try here.

I've been developing a fun passion project in my free time for about two years now. It's a text adventure remake/demake of the original Fallout, and I've (rather vainly) called it Manhattan's Fallout or ManFall for short. Now when I say two years, and *free time*, let me be clear - I have very low work ethic, and dragging myself out of my funk and into the work seat has been a constant and never ending process. If I had actually put myself to the test, set a detailed schedule and followed it, held myself accountable and such, I would likely already be done with it. But that's neither here nor there.

The game started as a completely faithful recreation of the original Fallout, but as you can probably guess, that didn't exactly mesh well in a text-based format. The first Fallouts are largely point and click RPGs, which is somewhat difficult in a medium where visuals aren't the primary form of storytelling and gameplay.

As a result, there have always been compromises between nostalgia and fun along with new ideas that I've brought up to make sense of it all. I always tried to keep myself within the bounds of the lore, never straying farther than I felt I could get away with in the public conscious. But last month, February of 2023, something just...snapped. I decided to jump full force into straight remaking the game, taking the coat of paint and the themes and pivoting to a complete text adventure reimagining of a game from the 90s. And I'll explain everything I've changed so far.

Firstly, the year that the game takes place in. Eighty years after the Great War always felt really strange for the first Fallout - not soon enough after the bombs to be recent, but not long enough since them to be a whole new world. It was the grandfather era, where your grandparents likely saw the world end but you yourself don't know of it for better or worse.

For the simple desire to include more plotlines focused on the old world, and to allow for a much harsher post-apocalypse in general, I decided to shave off 50 years and set the game in 2107: thirty years after the bombs fell. It's recent enough that most people have parents who survived it or saw it happen themselves, the weather can be harsher and more extreme, society can be more cobbled together and selfish, and the old world is still fresh in the minds of civilization so the loss feels more real and tangible. For this game to work, it needs to feel like an entire age of human history has come to an explosive close, like we held it in the palm of our hands and now it's nothing but ashes and ruins. If it feels like a fairy tale told to children rather than an event that ruined humankind forevermore, then I have failed.

Second, I've made the choice to move away from an open-world exploration model in lieu of a hub-based system. Open worlds are everywhere nowadays, some good and some bad, with Fallout being one of the poster children of this setup. But for me, a solo developer that is hand-crafting a game played entirely through dialogue and prose, the ability to travel to any settlement at any time in the game would only lead to each settlement feeling bland after a while. I can't feasibly have enough interactivity for a player to find new and unique content no matter what order they play each location in, and I won't break myself in two trying to achieve that.

By segmenting the game into hubs, or more accurately into *chapters*, I can include a handful of two to three locations per chapter (maybe just one if it's big enough) and build upon player choices each chapter without having to account for extensive backtracking. It saves me time, allows for more detailed story structure as I'm not factoring in player retreads, and allows the game to feel much more like an actual interactive novel.

Thirdly, I'm changing up some of the plot points in the game. They aren't huge plot points that alter the story itself, but rather replacing one character in the endgame with another character who you meet much earlier (you'll know it when it happens) and adding a twist into the Necropolis portion of the game. I believe these two changes, though they aren't the only ones, will better tie the Water Chip plot and the Super Mutant plot together in ways that the original game didn't.

There is only one more big change that I can give info on right now, and that's because it's something that might confuse players if I don't handle it correctly and I just wanna explain this off the bat: The Hub and Junktown have been conceptually merged, meaning I took pieces of both (characters, stories, ideas, etcetera) and pieced them together in a way that I believe strengthens the whole. It takes the more boring parts of both locations and paints over them with the better implementations of those aspects from each other. Gizmo is still a casino boss, Killian is still the city's sheriff and mayor, and Decker has been better integrated into the caravan lifestyle in a way that I think makes working with the caravans a lot more of a gray area.

There are other things I've been thinking about doing, but those are the most set in stone big changes since I decided to pivot recently. I'll keep you posted, thanks for reading 👍

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chisatowo · 2 years

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Oh god artfight is coming up that's right fuck I have so many refs I need to make fkfndkd

#rat rambles #oc posting #I wanna remake all of last year's by then but since I only have done 8 so far that still leaves 10 lol #and thats not even counting all the refs for characters that dont have refs yet I wanna make refs for #I mean I guess luckily most of the refs that need to be done are staliens #WAIT I forgot abt mase's ref its actually only 9 that need to be done #I believe aris and fydd are the only human kids that still need refs #I should rly get to aris soon so her new design can have a proper ref but also idk if I should make it pre or post goop incedent #both of her past ones have been bur in both of her past ones it happened before the main story started up #originally the staliens were gonna be the main main characters and the human and stalien stories werent going to run parallel #but now it takes place more mid story so theres a LOT more time spent with her pre goop design #plus now with her actual big design change I feel like showing both would be good #but I actually havent gotten around to properly designing new post goop aris yet #I probably will have her wearing her braids more often post goop for similar reason that uni has her hair pulled to the side #basically so it doesny get goopy and slowly disolve and stuff #my main thing is Im not sure which style to go for as her default #like I could justify her wearing more hairstyles but as an artist who likes consistant character designs Id rather not lol #oh also I updated the colors of dodie's ref to fix her eyes and make her skin look a lil less dusty so I might repost it in the morning #I decided to go with half n half since the more I looked at em all the more I just rly liked it most #but anyways as far as fydd goes his design hasnt changed at all but Im like super rusty with drawing him #Ive actually tried doing his ref a couple times but gave up since his face is stupid #hate beaks grr grr bark bark #the staliens hopefully shouldnt give me too much trouble but Im worried abt busy and dancer #Ive been rly struggling with drawing them recently specifically their anatomy for some reason #idk Ill figure smth out #I should rly do beats first I think I feel like asside from mason's hers looks the worst #plus I like drawing her lol #after that I should probably do alpha since she has her mane now #idk if I should try to showcase her post flower paracite design or not tbh but I probably wont #Ill need to settle on one at some point for my own sake but its not like I particularly need ppl to know abt it for now

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absolutebl · 3 years

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This Week in BL

March 2021 Part 4

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

This is a LONG ONE, it’s been A WEEK everyone.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Lovely Writer Ep 5 - a little slow this week, but at least Gene finally flirted back, and very cute flirting it was, too. Also we got Aey’s motivation, background, and love interest. Thank goodness for that.

Brothers Ep 8 - still pants, what can I say? Clearly I am a BL masochist. Very embarrassing for everyone concerned.

1000 Stars Ep 9 - the conflict over Tian’s father was REALLY well done. The plot of this drama is excellent, the leads are great together, and yes I totally cried. What, you didn’t?

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Word of Honor (China) Ep 16-18 - big battle fighty fighty stabby stabby. Ep 17 switches to “this drama isn’t big enough for two chaotic-neutral godlings!” So what do they do? Drink together and bicker... A LOT. Then in Ep 18 we all get the dubious joy of really freaky puppets. (I HATE puppets.) Also how is China letting this be so SO VERY VERY GAY? Also, I wanna walk through the forest wearing a smanshy purple robe and waving a big fuck-off white fan around simply because I’m a pretentious fuss monger. And frankly, I feel like this is an achievable life goal for me.

We Best Love 2 (Taiwan) Ep 4 - not gonna lie, this is looking to be one of my top 3 BLs of 2021. It’s SO GOOD. Big bonus to this ep for treating stalker behavior like the mental illness it is and not as some dumb representation of enduring love.

The Most Peaceful Place is My Place (Vietnam) Ep 1 - finally dropped (find it under NƠI BÌNH YÊN NHẤT LÀ VỀ BÊN EM on O2′s channel). It’s got actors already comfortable with BL and looks pretty good so far. An angry tsundere uke reunited with his ex, a stoic chef, giving us lots of snap, crackle, and pop out the gate.

Dear Uranus (Taiwan GL) Ep 2 - I want to love it, but it is just moving too fast. There’s not enough character dev and then they’re throwing flashbacks in? It feels like a treatment rather than a show, and a rushed treatment at that. Bummer.

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 2 (AKA Ep 3-4) - let the cheesy popcorn continue! Idiot remains an idiot; ingenue remains an ice queen; nice gay guy remains nice and gay; obsessive stalker brother is getting ever more whackadoddle. Of course these last two have the best chemistry. (It’s caregiver codependency and the salvation trope. We got us a Leo/Fiat situation going on.) Plus lots of classic BL tropes because OF COURSE there are lots of tropes.

Occasionally, I am tempted to argue that shows like H4 or Cherry Magic or Ossan’s Love aren’t technically BL because of the office setting and age of the protags - but then they all behave like high school students anyway, so *shrug*

Stand Alones

Cute little Taiwanese micro BL Friend or Lover dropped, about bisexual realization within a friendship group. Normally these are too short for me, but this one did pretty good with its 15 minutes of charm, plus it’s abad boy + shy softy pairing.

Breaking News - Thai BL

Fish Upon the Sky released its actual trailer. The upside-down kiss is gone, which makes everyone sad, and it seems far less rivals to lovers than the first iteration, which makes ME sad. But it still looks good and a more classic BL than GMMTV has given us in a while. New trailer focused more on the makeover trope and they’ve upped Mix’s role (the object of everyone’s affection) now that he’s proved himself. (Or they are using him more to carry the trailer since he has a fan base form 1k*). Starts April 9 on GMMTV in 1K*’s time slot, probably with a 10 ep run.

2gether the movie is apparently coming April 22 to Thai theaters. F4 Thailand must be having issues or GMMTV just wants to milk the BrightWin cash cow. It’s rumored to be a combination of 2gehter + Still 2gether with some extra scenes and ending. Also, one assumes a lot will be cut out, if it’s movie length.

Call It What You Want released its updated trailer. If anything, it looks more scary than before. What are we in for? April 9th.

Nitiman got a release date, May 7 on One31.

I Told Sunset About You 2 got an updated release date of May 27 on LineTV.

Second Chance the series is coming to LineTV on March 29. I don’t know much about this one. Tons of familiar faces (mostly TharnType side dishes) and some nice looking new talent but a dearth of eng subs. I think it may take on Brothers’ time slot. Line did eng subs for Brothers so maybe they will do 2nd Chance too?

Close Friend the series is coming April 22. This is a combination of 6 couples with 6 story arcs as music videos (maybe)? It’s an epic fan service with familiar faces like OhmFluke (UWMA), MaxNat (LBC also in Y-Destiny), YoonLay (YYY also in Y-Destiny), KimCop (GenY), and JaFirst (TT2).

Y-Destiny starts March 30, and has starting dropping couple’s trailers. I’m still suspicious given the director but it seems like there is plot (or plots) and a theme. Looks to be a series of 7 single ep vignettes (amended, see comments, might be 2 eps each for 14 eps total), different couple each time, some with supernatural elements, all with decent chemistry and acting chops.

Sun MaxNat’s tutor/student arc

Mon jaded rich kid meets poor innocent

Tues sports romance enemies to lovers

Weds the messy realistic actual dating one

Thurs hot ghost boyfriend (sad)

Fri YoonLayPerth coping with loss and finding new love (sad). This one will all rest on Lay's acting so we know it’s in safe hands. Our boy is going to KILL it.

Sat time-slip memory loss reunion romance

I’m thinking we can’t expect any of these to end happy or be classic BL. They’re gonna be more slice of life-ish.

Gossip - BL Outside of Thailand

Scholar Ryu’s Wedding Ceremony AKA Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korean historical BL) got a legit teaser (eng sub here). @curriculumvtae reports that it’s releasing April 15th on WeTV (Philippines & Thailand) and Idol Romance (South Korea), while Will of Thai Bl says it’ll be on Viki too. It’s a short run of 8 ep built on a fake relationship trope (arranged marriage variant):

Ryu Ho Seon’s (Kang In Soo from You Wish) arranged marriage turns out to be with his expected bride’s brother, Choi Ki Wan (Lee Se Jin from Mr Heart). Ryu tries to undo the marriage, but his ill mother opposes this saying the scandal would be too much. Meanwhile, Kim Tae Hyeong (Jang Eui Soo from Where Your Eyes Linger), a senior at Ryu’s school, comes to congratulate him and falls in love with Choi. Then one day, the original bride disappears.

Okay it seems a bit twisty turny for ONLY 8 EPS, but oh my goodness how excited are we? Our first intentional historical BL out of Korea!

We already knew Hong Kong was doing a remake of Japan’s Ossan’s Love under the same name (not my favorite Japanese BL but so very popular) but it’s now reported to be coming to Viu in June. Who knows how the CFA will take it. Depends on whether Hong Kong bows before the NO GAY KISSES regs or if they are going to use this as a political nose thumb... things could get cray with this puppy (the original has several kisses and s shower scene). Are we back in Addicted territory only with added comedy and civil unrest?

Speaking of Japan, Absolute BL (AKA Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai vs Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko) dropped sooner than anyone thought, March 27. But being Japanese who knows how/when/if we get subs. Protag finds himself trapped in a world of BL, but being straight he fights against any hot guy that draws near, but the whole world (literally) is conspiring against him. It’s a parody adapted from a yoai.

What with Absolute BL from Japan plus Lovely Writer and Call it What You Want from Thailand, is 2021 the year of BL being ultra self referential? Sure feels like it.

In Case You Missed It

Faded a gay micro film from Taiwan from 2017 deals with parental acceptance and serves up a ton of BL tropes (piggyback, forehead kiss, etc). I’m pretty sure this was a propaganda piece for legalization of gay marriage, and it’s an interesting nugget of BL history as a result. Yes, it ends happy. It’s cute.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed a day later than actual air date for accessibility reasons.

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

Man there’s a lot going on right now! Spring has sprung... I suppose.

P.S. I cannot believe I missed Absolute BL as a blog name. Numbnuts = me.

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istanleyff7 · 3 years

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TOTP, Episode Aerith, Scene 1-4

Final Fantasy VII Remake: Traces of Two Pasts Episode 2- Aerith Scenes 1 - 4

A Light Novel by Kazushige Nojima Translated by Stanley (@istanleyff7 on twitter)

Scene 1

Aerith Gainsborough was on Shinra Ferry No. 8, and like her friends, she was wearing a Shinra's military uniform. It was her first time on the sea, as well as on a ship. The ferry connecting Junon and Costa De Sol was unexpectedly lavish. Enticed by curiosity, she looked around the ferry. However, the wealthy passengers were not welcoming towards troopers. Driven away by the cold stares, she arrived at the bottom ferry's cargo hold. The goods and luggage were all over the place. Someone was already there.

"Hey, I heard this on the deck a while ago..."

It was Tifa Lockhart, clad in Shinra's equipment. One won't expect it based on her tender smile, but she's an excellent martial artist. She is a reliable companion, equipped with her unstoppable punches, diverse kicks and jumping power. It hasn't been long since they met. However, Aerith believed that the bonds that were fostered by overcoming critical situations were genuine.

"When you feel that you're becoming seasick, it seems that it's good to chat as a distraction."

"I see. Tifa, are you feeling sick?"

"Nahhh, I'm good."

"Me, too."

The conversation ended there. Soon after, Aerith noticed that Tifa wanted to speak. She's reserved at times.

"You wanna talk? Let's talk."

"I'd like to hear about you this time."

"Me?"

"I'm a good listener. You see, I am always doing so at the bar."

She straightened her posture and pretended to polish a glass.

"Hello, it's your first time here, isn't it. Where are you from?"

"Wow."

Aerith was in admiration.

"Do you live around here?"

"Nope. I live in the slums of Sector 5."

"I see. Sector 5 seems pretty lively too. Were you born there too?"

"Well...." Aerith hesitates to say. "It's probably hard to explain."

Tifa immediately sensed it. She had already spoken about her being an Ancient and about her being the last surviving one.

"Sorry, I've gone too far."

"Oh, not at all." Aerith denies it immediately.

"I was just a little taken back. There isn't anyone who says that they want to hear it, nor is there anyone I thought of telling. Well, you wanna hear it? You wanna hear it?"

"If it's alright with you."

"I'm good! I'm good!"

Scene 2

Ifalna, Aerith's mother, was the final pure-blooded descendant of the Ancients as both of her parents were Ancients. She was under the protection of Shinra. To collaborate with the various studies concerning the Ancients, she lived on the upper floors of the Shinra building for a long time. Except for having the freedom to go outside, she had a room that provided almost everything. Aerith lived with her mother, but she couldn't remember the day when she first entered that room. Her first memory was in that room too. As everyone around was adults, the only person she could call a friend was Ronnie, the son of Ifalna's caretaker, Mariel, who brought him along. He was two years older than her.

It was the year 1992. Aerith was seven years old. Her head was suddenly flooded with images. She saw not only landscapes and people that she had never seen before, but also the figures of animals and monsters too. Aerith's Ancient powers were awakened. The inexperienced Aerith could not only control these images, but she also could not ignore them. She painted on papers, painted on the walls and showed it to anyone who wanted to see them. She thought that by doing so, these mysterious "visions" would disappear.

Scene 3

"I understand now that up till then, I was a hostage, and to protect me, my mother had no choice but to obey Hojo. But because Hojo also knew that I inherited the powers of the Ancients, he was overjoyed. Because he discovered a successor, he started doing terrible things to my mother, which he hadn't done until then. And just like that, my mother's health began to break down..."

Scene 4

Because of Hojo and his fellow staff, Ifalna's “working” hours increased. She was made to work for Hojo's studies every day from morning till evening. She was weak every day, and she could not walk on her own. There were also times when Hojo's staff pushed her back into the room in a wheelchair. At that time, Fuzz Hicks appeared and was dressed in a lab coat. Out of all the staff that Aerith knew, Fuzz had the largest physique. His eyes, nose and mouth were huge too. He was a very trustworthy figure who easily carried Ifalna with his massive arms.

When Fuzz came over, Ifalna begged him for medicine. She had a sad, sweet voice. Aerith did not say anything, but she did not like her mother whenever she made that kind of voice. She wanted her to be cured soon if she was ill.

“Fuzz, please…”

Aerith was almost sure that Fuzz knew it. He turned his back against the surveillance camera. He left a small bottle of medicine and a syringe, reminding her to keep it a secret from the other staff, and then he left. Ifalna used it on herself. Aerith could not see her mother sticking the needle in her arm, usually hiding in the sofa's shadow.

Aerith has little memory of the calendar dates of events regarding her childhood. It was one night when she was seven years old. She snuggled under her mother's bed as usual. It was a habit she had since she knew she was being monitored. She covered herself entirely with a blanket.

"Aerith. Want to go on an adventure?" Ifalna whispered from the other side of the blanket.

“What will we be doing?” She had a longing and a fear towards the outside world.

"I miss it."

Aerith did not understand what her mother was feeling. However, she sensed that tears were mixed in with her voice.

Aerith did not want to see her mother's face and got out from her blanket. Ifalna covered her face with her arm. The sleeves of her loose sleepwear were turned inside out. She had plenty of painful injection marks.

"If we head out, will you be okay, Mummy? You’re not going to take any more injections?"

“Yes. I think that will be so.”

"Well, let's go. But, I wonder if we can do it. The cameras are watching."

"Fuzz will help us out."

"Why will Fuzz help us out?"

There was a brief pause.

"Because he's a good person"

↞↠

Ifalna was taken out of the room as usual and returned in the evening. Fuzz was pushing the wheelchair.

"Yo Aerith," said Fuzz with his deep voice.

"The preparations are in order. I have prepared a secret house in the Sector 3 slums. You will also have a room. It's small, but we'll be leaving here."

He only told her that, and he left the room.

The emergency bell rang in the morning. Hurried by Ifalna, Aerith changed her clothes. It was clothes she had never seen before.

"Fuzz prepared these for us," Ifalna informed as she also wore her new clothes.

"Let's go."

"We will be seen."

"Don’t think like that."

Ifalna opened the door.

"It can't be. The lock is open. Why?"

The mother did not reply, took a deep breath and dashed out to the corridor. There was not a single person there. The bell signalling a crisis rang into their ears.

"Experimental monsters are on the loose. Staff from the Science Department evacuate to a safe location," the public announcement monotonously announced.

"That's rough."

Aerith was frightened. However, Ifalna ascertained the direction and walked. She was hobbling. Her condition was good only when she opened the door. Aerith took her hand and kept up with her.

They turned at the first corner of the corridor. No staff were seen, and there were also no signs of wandering monsters. Ifalna rushed over to a wagon carrying cleaning tools; a large metal box attached with tiny wheels, with a long brush and mop, stuck into it. She slid her hand on the side of the wagon, and a part slid open. It was empty. There were supposed to be various cleaning agents and tools in there. The shelves and dividers were also removed.

"We will be hiding in here. I'll head in first."

Ifalna bent her body and slipped into the box.

"Come, Aerith."

Invited by her voice, Aerith went inside. Ifalna pulled her knees towards herself to make space for her daughter. The petite Aerith quickly got in.

"We are going to be here for some time, so find yourself a comfortable position."

"Okay. This position is good."

"Got it."

After Ifalna closed the door, the wagon became pitch black. The public announcement remained unchanged and announced the experimental monsters’ escape. Before long, there was an indication that someone was nearby. The wagon vibrated lightly.

"It's me."

"I'm leaving it to you, Fuzz."

"We'll get going."

The wagon started to run.

"No matter what happens, do not make any noise."

"I'll be making a turn."

"It's an elevator. We will be transferring elevators several times."

From time to time, Fuzz could be heard. While in the elevator, Aerith became nauseous.

"Mummy, I don't feel good."

"It will be over soon."

When the free-falling feeling with the wagon was over, it started running again. As Fuzz mentioned, he will be transferring elevators several times.

"We're in a parking lot."

A different and unpleasant odour, unlike before, crept into the wagon.

"I'll be stopping soon. There'll be a truck, so hurry up and hop onto its cargo bed. I'll assist the both of you."

There was likely a change in the ground surface. A rattling sound came out from the wagon as it ran. The wagon soon stopped, and the door came open.

"Well then, hurry on."

Aerith was pulled out by the large hand that went into the wagon. He held Aerith up and placed her on the cargo bed as though she was an object.

"Move inside," Fuzz said as he also lightly placed Ifalna on the cargo bed.

"There are a few wooden crates. The innermost one is empty, so hide in it. Don't forget to close the lid. My cousin will be driving the truck. After arriving at the train station, the crate will be loaded onto the freight carrier. The cargo will eventually arrive at the Sector 4 slums station, so wait for me there."

"In the box?" Ifalna asked.

"Nope. I think you both will end up waiting for me somewhere at the station. I have a friend there, so follow her instructions. I've written the details in this letter," Fuzz said as he folded the paper and passed it to Ifalna.

"Where are you going, Fuzz?" Aerith asked.

"I'm heading back up to pretend to search for the both of you. If I get caught, it's going to cost me more than my neck."

The car horn sounded, and feelings of anxiety rushed in.

"Well, later then. There is food and water in the crate."

"How long do we have to wait for you to come?"

"At worst, till the last train," Fuzz said as he kissed the back of Ifalna's hand. Aerith was surprised and looked at Fuzz and her mother one after another.

"Fuzz, thank you."

The truck moved off before Ifalna could finish her words.

↞↠

The mother and daughter crawled on all fours on the swaying cargo bed and moved to the back. There were five wooden crates, one size larger than the cleaning tool wagon. After Ifalna found the empty box, she opened the lid and placed Aerith inside.

"Smelly..."

After leaving the room, they smelled various odours, but this was unbearable.

"Endure endure. We'll get used to it soon," Ifalna uttered as she also entered the crate.

Aerith did not overlook the frown on Ifalna's face.

"You think it stinks too, Mummy!"

Ifalna stuck out her tongue, and after gazing at each other, they laughed.

Aerith noticed the paper bag at the bottom of the crate. There was also a portable torchlight, a pouch of dried fruits and nuts, a hard bread and a water bottle when she looked inside it. There was a thin envelope, so she peeked inside and found that there was money in it.

"I have to close the lid."

After struggling to close the lid, the crate went pitch black.

"Next, uh ... let's read the letter."

In the dark, there was a dry sound of Ifalna unfolding the paper.

"Aerith, may you shine at this for me?"

"Okay."

She had difficulty operating it, but Aerith found the switch and turned on the torchlight. In the cutout of the darkness, her mother's pale face was there, and sweat was oozing out from her forehead.

"Mummy, are you alright?"

"I'll be reading it, so remember this too, Aerith."

It seems that she does not intend to reply to her question.

"Okay."

“The plate on which the Shinra Building is built and the slums are connected by rail. This crate will be carried into the freight train as it is. After the train runs for a while, the inside of the crate will glow red, and it will be glowing several times. But you don't have to worry about it, and do not mind it."

“What does this mean?”

"Fuzz... He thinks I don't know anything, and he is right about that."

"I'm scared."

"He wrote not to worry, let's believe him."

"Okay..."

"After a while, you will realise that the railroad tracks will be running on ground level rather than at a descent. You will soon hear the train stoppage announcement. Once you hear it, get out of the box. Next, stand by the doorway at the width of the carriage. The last stop is the Sector 4 Slums Station. The door will open when you arrive. Give the money in the envelope to the person who opened the door. It's a reward. Rest assured that she is a friend of mine, and follow her instructions and wait until I pick you both up..."

Ifalna violently coughed before she could read it to the end. It was a long-lasting cough. She turned her head away and covered her mouth with her arm.

"The light... turn it off..." Ifalna said so and violently coughed again.

↞↠

The truck eventually came to a stop. The truck bed shook, along with the rattling sound of the cargo hitting each other. They sensed people in the vicinity. The unloading began. The handling work was rough, and the crate was even thrown down to its' side.The mother and child endured through the shaking and pain in the crate. Ifalna embraced Aerith in her arms and held her daughter's leaking voice with her palm.

"We got to press on."

Silence came. They were relieved in that brief moment, then the loading operation on the freight train started.

"This is going to the Sector 4 Slums."

After hearing the muffled voice of a man, the box started to move. Again, the crate was handled recklessly. They used their hands, feet, and back to anchor their bodies down and clenched their teeth.

Shortly after that, the loading came to an end. There was a heavy, loud sound as the freight car door closed. After the train started running, it began to make a periodically repeating rattling noise. Eventually, the rhythmic sound becomes pleasant. Aerith dozed off and was half asleep. She woke up suddenly and looked at her mother's face. Ifalna's profile, dimly lit by the torch that was left on, was as beautiful as usual. In her line of sight, she noticed Ifalna smiling. Aerith was relieved, and she closed her eyes again. She finally slept.

In her dream, Aerith was painting.

When she woke up, Ifalna was coughing violently again.

"Are you alright, Mummy?"

"Yup... Give me a moment,"

Her voice got hoarse. Soon after adjusting her breathing —

"It looks like the descent stopped some time ago. The red lights are over too, so perhaps we'll be arriving soon?

"Ehhhh!? I wanted to see the red lights!"

"You said you were scared of it."

Ifalna laughed.

"I want to see it even if I'm scared."

At that moment, the inside of the crate was tainted red. The two were surprised and looked at each other.

"It turned red!"

"Yup! It turned red."

"I wasn't scared at all."

"Hey, Aerith. Let's eat something. We don't know when we'll be able to eat next."

Ifalna tore up the bread in the bag into pieces, handed it to Aerith, and ripped open the pouch of dried fruits.

"I wonder if this is like a picnic."

Aerith stuck the bread on her cheek.

"What's a picnic?" Ifalna asked.

After Aerith swallowed the bread —

"I heard from Ronnie. People would take along food, head out, walk a lot and eat. It seems that they don't eat anything sometimes. But Ronnie has never been to one before."

"Hmm. I really don't know, but walking seems to be fun."

Under the dim light shone from the portable torchlight placed on the floor, Ifalna offered her the remaining bread.

"Aren't you eating, Mummy?"

"I've already eaten. I ate it while you were sleeping with your mouth open."

She thought it was a lie. However, Aerith inflated her cheeks and showed her anger.

The train slowed down, and Ifalna coughed violently again. She shook her shoulders violently to hold down the cough.

"I'm really okay."

"Alright."

Aerith felt even more worried as she was reminded again that her mother was ok.

"Next station,... Four Slums. Sector Fo... lums," a muffled voice could be heard. It's the train stoppage announcement.

"Let's get out of the crate, shall we?"

They flipped the lid up. Ifalna comes out first and pulls Aerith up. Although the train was slowing down, the train carriage was rattling and shaking.

"This is fun!"

Aerith planted both her feet down to keep her balance. Ifalna held on to the crate to support herself.

“Aerith”

“Yup.”

“Never forget that feeling, okay?”

“Which feeling?”

“The feeling that you’ll enjoy anything.”

“Hmmm, I understand.”

“Hey hey, Aerith, look at this.” Ifalna pointed to the label on the crate which they were in.

"What's written on it?"

"From Shinra Company to Shinra Company. To be stored at Sector 4 Station. Dangerous goods. It is strictly prohibited to open it en-route..."

"We are dangerous goods?"

"That's rude."

Ifalna laughed, and the train slowed down again to a stop. Aerith lost her balance and clung to her mother as she almost fell over.

"Stay silent for a moment, Aerith. Leave this to me."

She looked up at her mother to see what she meant. She wasn't smiling anymore.

It was a young woman who opened the door. She had a pouty face and wore loose-fitting overalls. Her whole body was covered in dirt.

"Are you a friend of Fuzz?" Ifalna asked.

She nodded her head.

"Here you go. It's the reward."

Ifalna held out the envelope.

"I told him I didn't need it..."

“But…”

In the end, the lady snatched the envelope and pushed it into her back pocket.

"Get off. Quickly."

The carriage floor was well above the ground, a height that anyone would need help with. However, the lady was keeping watch of the surrounding people.

"Okay. I'll head down first."

Ifalna disappeared from Aerith's line of sight as she had jumped off. A painful moan could be heard.

"Mummy!"

"Hurry up," the lady's sharp voice pierced through their ears.

Ifalna apologised as she stood up, looking back at Aerith and reached out to her with both hands. Aerith was worried whether the woman in dirty clothing would get angry again, so she hurriedly jumped on her mother's body.That force caused Ifalna to stumble. She almost fell over while holding onto Aerith but managed to get her balance after taking a few steps.

"It's already chaotic at the top. Hide in the container yard until Fuzz picks you up," The woman pointed to a place stacked up with a lot of containers.

"When the sun sets, consignees will enter and exit the yard, so don't be discovered. That would be a pain."

"How much longer until the sun goes down?" Ifalna asked.

"In about four hours."

The woman tried to leave, but Ifalna called out to stop her and asked, "Which direction is Sector 3 in?"

The woman pointed out the direction with her chin, and as though she was escaping from them, she headed back to work.

"Mummy, let's hide quickly?"

"Yup. Let's do so."

The woman looked back once she reached the end of the train carriage and pointed towards the container yard. She was probably telling them to head over quickly.

"Aerith."

Ifalna held out her hand.

"From here on out, it's a real adventure. Let's go."

Ifalna held Aerith's hand.

"Mummy, why is your hand hot?"

"It's because I'm excited."

Ifalna laughed, and they started walking towards the rear of the carriage they had just got off. The carriage they were riding on was at the end. When they went around the carriage and crossed over the rail, they could see the station building. The woman from earlier disappeared into the station building. They saw some others in uniforms that looked like railway workers.

"Mummy, where are we going!?"

Aerith was extremely worried. However, her mother did not say a word. Instead, she held her hand firmly and started walking. They headed towards the wire mesh fence that was directly in front of them. There were a lot of people coming and going on the road over there.

"Mum!?"

"Let's climb over this fence."

"Ehhhh?"

The fence was about two metres tall.

"I can't."

"But we have to. Otherwise the adventure will be over."

In the end, they clung to the fence.

"Well, let's have fun!" Ifalna uttered.

Passers-by across the wired fence saw them, but nobody stopped walking.

"First, grab a high spot on the wired fence with both hands, and then put the toes of your left foot into the wired fence."

"Ohhh."

Aerith was confused, but she managed to be in the same position as her mother.

“Next, apply some strength to your hands and put your right toe into the fence.”

“Okay.”

"Once you can do that, move your right hand to grab the fence higher up. Then, also move your left hand to grab at the same height."

"Ah, I got it! Next will be my legs."

Aerith felt that she understood how to climb the wired fence.

"Mummy, look!"

While making a rattling noise, she climbed the fence in a blink of an eye.

"Nicely done, Aerith. Now from there, climb over."

"Hey! Get down from there!" came a piercing, angry voice.

Aerith saw a station employee running over.

"Mummy!"

Ifalna saw the station employee.

"Aerith, quickly get going!"

"You too, Mummy!"

Ifalna started climbing the wired fence. She was frustratingly slow.

"Hey!"

The station employee was getting close. The scene gathered the eyes of passers-by. At that moment...

"Hey! Hurry up!"

They looked over. A tall adult male was reaching out his hand. Aerith was confused. He was probably an acquaintance of her mother, but that should not be the case.

"Hey! Let's go!"

Before Aerith knew it, Ifalna got up to the same height and got over the fence. The station staff extended his hand out, but he barely could not reach her. Finally, Ifalna got over to the other side, reached out and grabbed the chest area of Aerith's clothes and pulled firmly. Aerith could not help but lose her balance and almost fell headfirst outwards of the fence. However, a pair of solid hands supported Aerith.

"You alright?" the man asked Ifalna while lowering Aerith to the ground.

However, Ifalna was coughing harshly and could not answer.

"Riding without a ticket is a serious crime!"

The station employee also started to climb the fence.

"It’s a serious crime which too many people commit, and you can't catch those culprits."

"Thank... you," Ifalna finally answered.

"You're welcome."

The man then struck the fingers of the station employee, who was grabbing the wired fence, with his fist. The station staff screamed away from the wired fence.

"Shinra bastard, damn y'all!"

After hailing abuse at the station employee, the man walked away as if nothing had happened. The station employee was panting heavily and glared at the man.

"Which direction is Sector 3 in?" Ifalna abruptly asked the station employee.

Not only the station employee but Aerith was also surprised at this.

"Who would teach you!" the station employee's angry voice froze Aerith's legs.

"Very well. Pardon us for our rudeness." Ifalna calmly apologised to the station employee

She then took Aerith's hand and left the station. When they looked back, the station employee was glaring at them. However, he was soon hidden in the flow of passers-by.

"Ahhh, that was heart-wrenching."

Ifalna coughed. When Aerith looked up, she saw the radiant face of her mother.

↞↠

There was no sign of anyone chasing them. The mother and daughter were moving away from the Sector Four Slums Station. Looking up, they could see the underside of the steel city. They were overwhelmed by the orderly combination of the steel-framed plate. Many people lived on it, there was the Shinra Building, and they were way high up on it. The scale was too large for Aerith to picture it well.

"Aerith, if you just look up, you'll fall."

"Okay."

Indeed, none of the surrounding commuters were looking up. It's a natural sight for slum dwellers. From time to time, Aerith could hear mysterious noises. She could also hear angry voices. And as expected, nobody cares.

"Mummy, who was the person that helped us at the station?"

"I think he's someone who hates Shinra. It seems that there are many of these kinds of people in the slums."

"How do you know about the slum, Mummy?"

"I asked a lot of people. For a day like this."

"Even on how to climb a wired fence?"

"Yup. If Professor Hojo weren't around, everyone would talk to me a lot."

"Actually, everyone is a nice person."

"I wonder. Everyone sympathised and cared for me, but no one helped me out. The truly good people are those that not only say that they'll help but also act on it."

"I wonder what Fuzz is doing."

Aerith waited for a while, but her mother didn't answer.

"Hey, Aerith, I want to rest for a bit. Shall we go over there?"

Ifalna pointed towards a small plaza in front of them. They saw several benches.

↞↠ You’re on page 24/142 of Aerith’s segment of the Light Novel. Next Scenes: Scenes 5-9 Back to Content Page (click/tap here)

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starfire-s · 3 years

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here’s a list of the best, mediocre and worst kdramas i watched in 2020

no one asked for this but it’s happening because i have thoughts (also all opinions are my own if you disagree then get well soon i guess... no i’m kidding make your own posts about it don’t hate me please) ahsjsj anyways click to read a lengthy post and if you actually read the whole thing then thank you i hope you enjoy this wild ride!

THE BEST KDRAMAS -

mystic pop up bar - this show had everything i ask from a kdrama literally i can name it all found family (to real family), well thought out characters, a mystery plot, special effects, soft romances that were well written, a happy ending! no show in 2020 even comes close to how good this one was! the writers literally guided you throughout the whole thing so you could come up with theories and didn’t do a ‘aha! gotcha’ thing where they want to prove the audience wrong but they wanted us to be right and satisfied! the worst part about the drama is that it’s still so underrated and people just brush it off as some random fantasy show but it’s so much more than that! 1000/10

flower of evil - who doesn’t want to see lee joon gi being the son of a serial killer, living with the name of a man who is in a coma, and hiding his real identity from his wife who is a detective? this show constantly had me at the edge of my seat on a weekly basis so the emotions i went through while watching this are unparalleled! the writers also did such a good job on writing a coherent story that made sense and tied up all the plot points in the end. just a really satisfying show to watch! 10/10

where your eyes linger - i literally bought a $8 viki pass to watch this show so it should tell you everything you need to know about how i feel ahsjsj the episodes were 10 minutes long but we got a good story with well written characters who got character development in a total of 80 minutes it’s insane! honestly it’s still hard to believe this show had rookie actors because they were just so emotive that you could feel all the happiness, sadness, yearning and pining! probably one of my fave kdramas this year because of the acting that i always constantly rewatch! would recommend 10/10

crash landing on you - okay so this drama was actually released on my birthday last year and it was a time in my life when i was going through a lot so maybe it’s the comfort this show provided me through that time this is why i have such a soft spot for it? like the romance was good, it was funny, there was found family, the nk soldiers were all softies, there were strong female leads, soft male leads!!! ahh!! no other show on this list made me think about the unification of south korea and north korea irl because i wanted se ri and jeong hyeok to be together 4ever! but the only issue i had with this show was the ending they gave seung jun if they didn’t do that i’d give this show a 10/10 but just for that they get a 9/10

psycho but it’s okay - this was one of those shows where you’re literally like ‘wow everyone here needs therapy’ but this show was amazing i loved the story telling and how each episode related to children’s book/fairytales! the writers also did a good job with how carefully they talked about mental health in depth without villainising their characters but actually tried to make the audience understand why they were this way which included all the side characters too who had a well thought out story in each episode! also the dynamic between moon young, kang tae and sang tae was everything to me the actors all did an amazing job portraying their characters, it truly was a healing drama. the only thing i didn’t like about this show was the whole plastic surgery plot with the mother like that was very far fetched but it provided drama so i’ll let it slide because the rest was amazing. this show is a solid 8.5/10

18 again - another underrated gem! who would’ve thought a remake of that zac efron movie could be this good!! lee do hyun stole this show for sure the way he portrayed his character and gave heart eyes to his kids (when he’s only 25 irl was the best thing i saw this year ahsjs) i loved the family dynamics in this show, i loved how it talked about what it’s like to be young parents and how society still think it’s taboo to be divorced! it’s a show that makes you laugh and cry at the same time and that’s why everyone should watch it! however, the biggest clown thing this show did to me though was that i got sls for the first time while watching a kdrama... hwang in yeop if u’re reading this i love u and u deserved better 🤡 that aside this show was a 8/10

itaewon class - i actually didn’t watch this drama as it was airing because i thought i wouldn’t enjoy the plot but when i watched it i binged the whole thing in 2 days and my biggest regret is i didn’t watch it sooner! everyone knows i have a soft spot for park seo joon since he’s my favourite actor i’ve literally watched all his dramas like he could star in the trashiest drama out there and i’d still watch it and be like wow (looking at she was pretty 👀) this show aside from the acting had one of the best revenge plots in a kdrama! just watching a character realistically hustle his way to reach the top while fighting the corrupt man whose son killed his father was so so satisfying to watch! however, the love triangle in this show was questionable idk what they were trying to do with that but it personally annoyed me! but still i’ll give this show a 7.5/10 because i enjoyed it a lot!

do you like brahms? - kim min jae and park eun bin.. that’s all you need to know about why this is a good kdrama! i’m usually not a big fan of melodramas and everyone knows i prefer rom coms but this show was just so perfectly melo that i loved all the angst and pain we got!! also just watching two introverted people awkwardly fall in love was amazing! the characters story arcs were also handled pretty well with song ah finally learning to speak up for herself and joon young learning to express how he truly feels! but... the love square? was probably the most annoying thing the rest in my opinion was nicely done! i know people had mixed feelings about the ending but i loved that after all the pain joon young and song ah went through they got a happy ending together! 7/10

find me in your memory - okay this show started off very slow and it was confusing at the start but as it progressed everything in the plot started to fall into place! i mean this show really took opposites attract to a new level where the male lead could remember every single detail from his life but the female lead had to forget some of her traumatic memories to help her cope with her life! they were also tied together through a mutual character who was a big part of their lives in a different way! just an interesting melodrama with interesting characters i liked it! and moon ga young... i love you queen!!! 7/10

THE MEDIOCRE KDRAMAS -

more than friends - was the storytelling in this show groundbreaking? no. was the acting decent? yes. also probably the main reason i stuck with this show until the end! i think we can all agree lee soo had the best character development on this show he started off as a bad boy who wore one ear stud to actually becoming a well liked character... who else did it like him? no one. also the chemistry between the mains was 🔥 but the second male lead was so annoying is there a opposite word for second lead syndrome because i had that for sure! i think the best part about this show was the people i watched it with on here... shoutout to the five of us ahsjsj also this show introduced me to a talented actor/singer like ong seong wu (y’all know my kpop knowledge is nonexistent so no i didn’t know he was in a band called wanna one) all in all a predictable show but i had fun watching it so 6.5/10

tale of the nine tailed - i didn’t actually watch this show i watched it through gifs and instagram posts ahsjsjs so am i qualified to talk about my opinion definitely no... will I talk about it anyways yes lmao. lee rang deserved better that’s all goodbye and take care. 5.5/10

start up - probably one of the most awaited opinions. y’all thought this would be in the worst kdramas section but i decided to give this show some rights. the show started off strong, lost it’s way after episode 6 and then the last episode gave me what i wanted so i have mixed feelings. the writing was not the best i think we can all agree, love triangle as a plot device? wow so groundbreaking 🤡 the characters on the other hand... i loved every single one of them i mean ship wars? i don’t know her. the show had a lot of potential that was wasted but we also got some cute moments between the characters so there was really no winning or losing with this show? but in all honesty you can’t put a talented cast together like this and then just decide to give the audience a mediocre plot but the writers did exactly that! i think i can redirect y’all to my ‘crimes this show committed’ post for a in-depth analysis. lastly nam do san was a GOOD and REFRESHING male lead and ji pyeong was also a GOOD and FUN second male lead!!! this show gave me the ugliest ship war ever that i was transported back to my high school tvd days so thank you for that!! but the cast was loveable and all had a lot of chemistry together so here’s a 5/10 maybe that's too generous but... i think the reason why i didn't enjoy watching this show as much was definitely because of the tag on here lmao

THE WORST KDRAMAS -

the king eternal monarch - i miss clowning this show so much. the amount of braincells i lost while trying to understand this plot... i should be compensated by the writers. however, woo do hwan was a treat to look at on a weekly basis... however the writers kept decreasing his screen time even though he had a dual role... make it make sense? and i cannot comment on the plot of this show because i still don’t understand anything? also in my opinion tae eul and lee gon were the most bland couple of 2020, there was no chemistry between them and there was just a random kiss in episode 5 and they randomly said i love you... where was the development? also lee gon was soooo boring and such a one dimensional male lead! literally all the side characters were so much more interesting and the cast was good... but this plot. 2/10

do do sol sol la la sol - i wanna fight the writer who decided that the plot twist on the show would be that jun is a minor? i had no expectations from this show but it looked cute and nonsensical but that plot twist made me run the other way so fast that i never looked back! just because jun is a boy they really thought this would be excused like lmao we all have critical thinking skills???? the clown behaviour. a solid 1/10

record of youth - i hate this show so much. imagine not utilising park so dam who just starred in the biggest oscar winning movie to her full potential. imagine just making her a love interest to park bo gum’s character in the year 2020. i watched it up until episode 6 and i kept waiting for her character to get development... but it never happened so i dropped this show. also this show featured the MOST useless love triangle i have ever seen in my life like what was the point? also park bo gum’s characters family was straight up annoying (minus the grandpa) but they got so much screen time like that should’ve been given to park so dam... also villainising a gay side character for no reason at all in the year 2020? this show was a waste of my time i want the 6 hours i spent watching this back. -100/10

backstreet rookie - i watched one episode of this and literally wanted to rip my eyeballs out of my head. idk what ji chang wook was thinking when he signed this drama i think he lost his ability to read because that's the only reasonable explanation for why he chose to star in such a dumpster fire show! this show had a racist character... had a high schooler kiss an adult... sexist jokes... just the worst things you can think of in a drama... this show had it. i still can’t believe so many people watched this show to the point where it had better ratings than pbio... really made me question everyone’s taste? but sorry can’t relate my taste is excellent so here’s the rating this show actually deserves -1000/10

if you made it this far... thank you for reading. let’s continue to love some kdramas together and get clowned by others in 2021! looking forward to it 😅

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21u004 · 3 years

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the last / okkotsu yuuta / april 4th, 2021

okkotsu yuuta is not an early bird.

he doesn’t like getting up before the sun, but he learned to love it when he once watched it rise with you. he doesn’t like cold showers in the morning, but he’s willing to take them to be presentable for you. he doesn’t like alarms, but he’s willing to make as many as he can to wake up with you.

yuuta is not an early bird, but at 5 in the morning, fully-dressed and awake, he’s in front of an old convenience store, six feet away from where you sat down.

reluctant to call out your name, his gaze and shoulders heavy with unnecessary guilt.

he eventually greets you.

“good morning,” he tells you at 5:16 a.m.

his voice is raspy, possibly from how it’s only been 53 minutes since he woke up.

you don’t mind it anyways; you’ve gotten used to hearing its soft whispers of “good morning” whenever he comes by your place to pick you up, or the lighthearted bursts of laughter when he finds himself in a stupid situation, or how he leans into your ear to tell you how wonderful you look when it’s too crowded and you’re struck with unpleasant thoughts.

it takes you minutes to reply, hesitant and distracted with thoughts wondering why he was here even if it had been you that called him over last night.

he figures you haven’t noticed him yet, so he takes three steps towards you.

one for each year you both spent calling and finding home in each other.

the first year, when you first ask him to go stargazing with you even though there were barely even stars at night with how bright the city is.

the second year, when he’s not-so-shy to let you know about how he carries an extra scarf from fall until spring because he’s memorized your forgetfulness.

the third year, when things start to fall apart, but you’re both still able to mend it back together. (or pretend that it’s fixed.)

and the fourth—

“you really came, huh,” your voice is low and almost inaudible except for the pained chuckle at the end of your sentence.

full of regret, your head hangs low. maybe it wasn’t a good idea to have invited him.

he was stupid to have actually come anyway.

and honestly, he didn’t want to come had it been someone else that invited him out at morning.

but it’s you who invited him, and he’s never been able to say no to you. not when he doesn’t like seeing you disappointed.

“of course,” he lowers his gaze to the ground, unable to look at you without feeling his head and chest ache every second. “you know i’d never flake out on you.”

—then why was there never a fourth year?

something stings your eyes and blur your vision for a moment.

they’re gone when you blink, leaving behind a wet trail down your cheek that was quick to dry when the breeze passes you by.

a sore, forced laugh leaves your lips, followed by a cough that has him rushing to your side and patting your back gently while worried eyes watch over you for every second that passed by.

“are you okay?” despite his hoarse and harsh-sounding voice, his tone is sweet and mellow, dipped in genuine concern, rough hands handling you delicately.

everything’s silent other than your cough resonating in the empty parking lot and his soft pats on your back ringing in your ears. it remains empty aside from the two of you.

too bad it wasn’t open for 24 hours so that there would be a few vehicles around or aisles for you to hide behind and then you wouldn’t have to face him.

that’s what you’ve always done though.

run away from reality and its problems.

it’s time for you to face it again.

“sorry,” you cough into your elbow. “yeah, i’m fine.”

yuta knows about how often you lie about your condition, so he asks one more time in hopes of getting an honest answer.

a nod is all he gets. he doesn’t question you again.

he wants to though.

he wants to ask if you’re okay and if you two can try again.

still, he doesn’t because he knows that he’s going to get both a ‘yes’ and a 'no’, and he knows which answer belonged to which question.

backing away from you, he sits when he deems the distance between you two not too far nor too close. you’re more than a hand’s reach, and that’s enough for him. he wants to be closer, but to have you around is already enough for him.

it’s already 5:28.

time passes too quickly.

despite wanting to cherish the moment, sit in silence and hopefully, peace as well, he stops his stalling and questions your need to see him in the morning when there’s so much more time left on the clock.

as he’s fulfilled your desire to meet him, you fulfill his of basking in the stillness of the world—with you.

you, and not someone else.

you, because you’re the one he wants to have around.

you, because he—

—loves you.

he loves you, and not someone else, because he can’t see himself with anyone else other than you.

(and he’ll keep on loving you, even if you tell him to stop for his sake and yours.)

“do you still remember?” you mumble in your folded arms on your knees. “when we first met.”

of course he does. it was somewhat unusual and unforgettable aside from the fact that the place you’re both at right now is where you two met.

a cold, lonely dawn spent at an empty parking lot of a convenience store. two kids feeling empty and drained until he decided to strike up a conversation with you, wondering why you were there when you could ask him the same. neither of you judged each other about it though, understanding one another regardless being in different situations.

that’s when you both got on the same vehicle and drove to a road that led to now.

it was like any other roadtrip, fun yet tiring, but neither of you realized that when everything was romanticized since the moment you two got on. it really was stupid of you two to think that meeting at a convenience store was romantic because it’s not.

it really was stupid of you to ignore the warning signs.

“yeah,” scratching his nape, he tilts his head to get a glimpse of your face, but he only sees your back. “we danced around even though there wasn’t any music playing.”

“it was dumb,” you turn away from him as if you were going to get the urge remake the mistakes you made then if you saw his undeniably pretty features.

“it was fun though,” a shy, embarrassed smile tugs at his lips. he hopes you’re smiling too.

“wanna do it again?”

this was dumber.

though you’re not going to make the same mistakes again. this was the end already, after all. there’s no more mistakes to be made when there’s no choices to be made.

the deep inhale of the cold air stings your lungs as you finally face him for the first time today, standing up and holding a hand out to him.

he swallows the last bit of hesitance that was preventing him from taking your hand, then starts to pull you into him.

“still no music?” one of his hands run to your waist.

you answer him as he’s about to intertwine his other with yours by taking out your phone and a slow, gloomy melody begins to play. it echoes in the empty space lightly when you settle it on the cold cement floor.

no comments were made about the choice of music. his hand rests on your waist while yours on his shoulder, the others laced together.

for a moment, you’re both back to the start.

dwelling in the glum atmosphere, savoring each other’s company.

still unable to look each other in the eye so you two opt for the ground or anywhere other than the eyes or face. stiffly and awkwardly swaying, feet pausing every few seconds in doubt, choosing which steps to take because it’s not used to dancing.

bathing in the lowlight of mornings that turn into something better because that’s what you two are good at: romanticizing the hopeless and the unromantic.

“i wanted to have a last dance with you,” you mutter, afraid he hears it. “that’s why.”

with the little space between your bodies, he does hear it. like your first meeting, he doesn’t judge you for it. he likes dancing with you anyways.

“it doesn’t have to be the last one,” he wishes to say but it remains as a thought, the lack of courage not allowing him to use his voice. knowing he’s going to regret doing so later, he still keeps them to himself.

so instead, he says something else.

“we can always dance again, if you’d like.”

fuck.

that’s even worse. (is it?)

on his shoulder, he feels your fingers claw at him. he wasn’t supposed to say that. at least he doesn’t mind it, but maybe you do.

you said it yourself, this was the last. maybe you said that because you didn’t want to anymore, he overthinks.

with closed eyes, your fingers loosen up on the cotton material, relaxing and exhaling slowly through your nose.

“that's—” he tenses up at your voice.

“that’s cool.”

did he hear you right?

“i don’t mind dancing with you again but,” the corner of your lips curl up, a burning sensation in your lungs when you inhale the cold morning air and finish your sentence. “someone might.”

someone, meaning the person you see himself with in your stead. the person whom you’re convinced is better than you. the person whom you’re convinced is more fitting for him, unlike you.

your eyes meet, and he can see through you.

you always lied about how you felt, until now.

it’s all obvious with the way your voice stutters, eyes falter, and hands tremble; with how you avoid his gaze as much as you can because it’s become unbearable to look at him without having your heart be spared from being torn into little pieces.

yuuta’s done beating around the bushes. biting his lip, his hands squeeze your waist and hand, his gaze shaky.

“you didn’t have to end this.”

having enough of it, too much for him to contain, he bursts into tears and lays his head on your shoulder, shuddering and holding onto you tightly, as if that was ever going to stop you from letting go.

“it was better for the both of us.”

the music gets drowned out by his choked sobs, the sky growing a little brighter than before each minute.

the sun rises slowly and lights up the dark corners of the world, and there’s nothing you can do but watch another day begin again.

there’s nothing you can do to stop yuuta crying.

there was nothing you could do to stop yourself from falling out of love.

(and even if you could prevent it, the road was always going to lead here.)

and as your shoulder gets soaked in tears, while you softly tug at the black tufts of his hair, you remember that there never was a fourth year because you—your insecurities—cut it off before he could. (because he never would, and neither would you.)

at your reply, he wonders why he even came here in the first place. was it because he was hopeful that you’d take him back again? (definitely.)

it’s too early for this, and okkotsu yuuta is not an early bird.

he doesn’t like getting up before the sun, but today, he did just for you. he doesn’t like cold showers in the morning, but today, he took them to be presentable for you. he doesn’t like alarms, but last night, he made as many as he could to make sure he doesn’t wake up late and make you wait for nothing.

yuuta is not an early bird, so he faces the consequences of being left.

(while he’s busy facing his consequences, you’re facing yours: having to wake up knowing he’s someone else’s because of you.)

(you never wanted to leave, but it was better than to have him abandon you.)

(even if he never was going to.)

#unedited #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk angst #okkotsu yuuta x reader

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atalana · 3 years

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[copied over from my cr blog, also this is gonna get long, i’d apologise but im not sorry]

okay, so

this is a rant probably about 7 years in the making, bc when i first watched lok i had not done any music study, i had not done any composing of my own, my knowledge of music theory was at a primary school level and i still thought tv soundtracks were just made by one person composing a whole cache of music and then the audio editors pick and choose what track to place where

(spoiler alert that’s not how film and tv scoring works, i have now done a music composition course where we had to score a short film, among other things, and i have so much more respect for tv composers jesus christ)

but this one stuck out to me even way back then, bc me barely knowing what a leitmotif was was like “hey this one little refrain keeps popping up whenever bolin does lavabending, and i like it, i’m gonna see if it’s on the soundtrack”

it was not, and that’s sort of where i left it back in 2014, but i actually did a rewatch of lok pretty recently out of nostalgia, and then noticed it even more

and to explain why (and this is also a little bit why five’s stuck out to me in tua, i’ll get to that in another ask), let’s cover, leitmotifs, and tv scoring in general

so a leitmotif is basically just a short musical idea that represents something in a piece of music. when i studied motivic development we were encouraged to make that motif four notes or less, and then develop it into something longer (aka a theme), because if you can constantly come back to a really short idea while keeping the piece moving, that’s what makes a piece of music memorable

(you can ignore those rules on purpose but that’s a different essay)

so the most common way that a leitmotif shows up in soundtracks is to represent a character or a location - you play the motif when that character shows up or when you’re in that location and boom, the audience associates that motif with that person place or thing, and you can then use this to tell the audience things without actually telling them. for example, star wars playing the imperial march whenever someone does something darth vader related - darth vader isn’t on screen, but you can feel his presence, because his music is playing

and if we were a film score, where we have two hours to show one particular character’s development, great! we give them a simple motif, and then as they grow as a person we change their motif to reflect what is happening to them, until we end up with something that communicates on a subconscious level how much they’ve grown. we toss in as much symbolism as we can, and we have a really great soundtrack that’s instantly memorable

tv scoring, is harder. partially because of time constraints (have you ever composed half an hour of original music a week, and had to make sure it fits perfectly with every beat of what’s happening on screen? these guys have), partially because there’s a much larger focus on ensemble casts

so what atla and lok do, for the most part, is not score individual character motifs for everyone. this is fairly common in tv soundtracks, instead we score ideas, concepts, and feelings - these’ll come up a lot more and give you more information than just “oh hey this character’s on screen”

the avatar state, for example, has the strongest and most recognisable theme across both shows. i’m linking an atla track in here because it has the best example but you’ll know this shows up with korra too - and with particularly important moments for wan, for kyoshi, etc. they also appear in the opening of both shows, four strong notes that start and end on the same note (in the case of what i’m linking, it’s an F#)

youtube

the first part of this track is the more uncertain, pensive theme that comes up when both avatars are feeling doubt/worry/sadness, but then it transitions into the more recognisable four. worth noting though, those are both basically the same motif. if i write them out back to back, you’ll notice they both have four notes and start and end on F#. if i had to guess, four notes four elements, and it comes back to the start because the avatar is a cycle.

korra has a theme for when she’s fighting, but not an individual character theme. the airbenders as a concept have a theme, republic city has thematic instruments, as do some big name characters, like iroh and his tsungi horn (this is also a cross-series thing, he’s always playing it in atla, it shows up when zuko has to make big moral decisions, and when we first meet iroh in the spirit world in lok, it shows up there too, to let the audience know who this is before we properly see him)

so, if korra doesn’t get a single theme and instead has several for different aspects of her life, and mako and asami follow along with the mood of the story like all the other characters, the fact that bolin has a personal leitmotif at all, let alone a solid, developing one, is pretty remarkable!

now, granted, it mostly starts with book 3, before then he was like every other character, but it has clear symbolism through those last two books! and, initially i thought it was related only to his lavabending, since that’s most of when it shows up, but since my rewatch, i’ve started calling it his hero theme

see, when people wanna criticise mako and bolin, usually the comments they get are that bolin’s too immature and mako’s too serious/uptight. but like, that’s how they work, you can’t analyse either of them without the context of the other. since they were little kids on the streets, bolin chases his heart and mako makes sure they don’t die from it, that is their entire childhood. and neither would have got here on their own because mako wouldn’t take the necessary risks and bolin wouldn’t take the necessary precautions. (like. remove either one from the equation and they’d still be working for the triple threats bc s1 and their flashback miniseries make pretty clear that bolin got them out and mako kept them out)

and then book 2 proves it! because it splits team avatar up, and what happens? bolin is totally taken advantage of by varrick and used as a pawn in his evil plan and mako ends up in jail

so what’s book 3, to them? it’s, being able to find themselves without having that codependency. mako no longer has someone to protect, which is what he’s based his whole life around so far - bolin’s doing fine and he’s no longer dating either korra or asami. and bolin’s trying his hand at some of that responsibility (look at how he immediately adopts kai who is explicitly them but younger because he wants to be the older brother for once). most importantly, they find the rest of their family, and stop being defined by being orphans. they don’t have to be that singular piece of a puzzle, they can just be themselves. and that’s where bolin’s character really starts to shine, because that’s when they bring in the bending plot, and bending, perhaps more than any other character, really gets to the heart of who bolin is

if you want more of my thoughts on that i have an essay here, but tl;dr: bolin’s an extremely powerful earthbender, but he’s not a metalbender because metalbending requires you to double down on the earth characteristics and think like an earthbender, and bolin doesn’t, he’s too fluid for that, which is one of his major strengths, so of course he can lavabend

and finally - to his motif itself! (as a note, i’ve put all of these in the same key to show where it repeats, but there’s a variety of keys used in the show)

as far as i can find, it first shows up in s3e8, when bolin stuns p’li with this well placed shot

[Edit: it first showed up in the s2 finale, but again in a simplified version and again with him doing something heroic with earthbending, so we can still start the analysis here]

mako volunteers bolin for that job, because he knew bolin was capable of it. why? because bolin landed an identical shot earlier in the episode, after trying to metalbend, getting frustrated he can’t, and cheating with some extremely well aimed earthbending. it’s just a short refrain and you barely notice it, but it’s the first connection of this motif with the theme of bolin’s bending

it looks like this, and it’s always played on a trumpet, which is part of why i call it the hero theme, because, if you’re looking at music from a western perspective, trumpets were used to herald kings, and then used to represent military glory, and then when superhero themes started happening, they used trumpets too - it’s basically western music shorthand for hero these days

(it’s also symmetrical so that helps with the good vibes)

and he’s saving everyone here, so it’s linked to his bending, but it’s also linked to his heroism

it ties the two together, and they are tied together.

when’s the next time it shows up? episode 10, when the brothers are in prison in ba sing se, and bolin tries to metalbend them out. again, he’s doing this to save people, and this motif gets a few notes added on to the end in a raising pattern - they’re inspiring, but they don��t go anywhere. which is exactly what happens in the scene, because he’s trying to go about this in the wrong way. mako believes in him, but it won’t (and doesn’t) work

it appears in episode 12 when bolin saves everyone from ghazan destroying the temple, in a more fancy orchestral remake of the first version - it’s impressive, but it hasn’t actually developed yet, it’s just his discovery of it

the book 3 finale already has its own fucking amazing soundtrack, i love that entire episode’s score, but it gets its own moment there too, and the first real development!

because what we hear is not what we’ve heard before. we know it’s the same theme, because it’s using those signature trumpets, but it’s the second part of this phrase, the answer to the question supplied by the first one. why? because bolin’s figured out who he is and he’s starting to use it. it still hasn’t settled yet though, it’s early days and he’s still just turning ghazan’s lava back on him, so again, it raises, leaving it on a question mark

it doesn’t appear in s4e7 when he lavabends as a warning against the escaped prisoners, because he’s using it as a threat, not to help people. but it does later in the episode when he uses lavabending to save them from kuvira. and that’s when we get the first full phrase, question and answer

it keeps the first motif identical, takes out the first note of the second, and ties them together - except now it’s not open ended, now it knows where it’s going - it’s been three years, at this point bolin is confident in both himself and his bending

and then that phrase appears all over the place in the finale, because all bolin does is save people - everyone from the exploding building, he slows the giant mecha with lavabending, he saves opal, he slows the giant mecha again by collapsing a building on it, and most importantly, he’s the one rescuing his brother this time, instead of the other way around (though that one doesn’t get a motif appearance bc admittedly a fuck ton of other things are happening in the soundtrack at the time)

so to that question asked in book three - who is bolin when not next to someone else? well, funnily enough, we saw it in book two as well, just in a warped way, playing nuktuk. it just wasn’t truly him because it was created by varrick, and he needed to get away from varrick too. the question put forward by the narrative is who is bolin, and the answer given by the music is, he is a hero. and i don’t know why bolin is the only one to get a theme like this, but i think it may have something to do with the fact that, while everyone in team avatar has been a hero and saved people, he is the only one who has, from the start, solely been motivated by wanting to help people. he follows his heart, and his heart cares, about everyone. it’s been the driving force behind almost everything he’s ever done. and i love him so much

#so yeah those are my thoughts on bolin go forth and cry with me about five notes on a trumpet #legend of korra #lok #bolin #music

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shitpissboi · 3 years

Text

Alone Together

Summary- The holidays are always hell, and sometimes you just need to be alone together with your boyfriends and your dumbass friends.

Word Count- 3476

Pairing- Katuski Bakugou x Reader x Hitoshi Shinsou

Warnings- Swearing, detailed use of marijuana, stalker behavior (kinda, just given as a backstory at the very beginning), aged up characters.

A/N- Hello everybody! This is actually the first fic that i’ve written in well over a year, so forgive me if my writing is still a little rusty! I hope you like this fic, and thank you for taking the time to read it! :) (Edit: Honeslty thank you so much to everyone that’s interacted with this post! I did not expect it too get so many notes, so thank you all!🥺🖤)

You sighed as you walked into your apartment, the stress of the past week weighing heavily on your shoulders. This entire week had been awful, not only had you been made to work over time almost every day this week at the cafe, a new regular has apparently made it his sole mission in life to make your life hell after you rejected his advances. He had asked for your number last week and you politely declined, telling him that you already had two wonderful boyfriends that made you extremely happy.

Ever since then, he had made sure to come into the cafe every time you worked just to make your job as hard as possible. Calling you names, commenting about your appearance, making you remake every single thing he ordered several times, just to name a few things. Coupling all of that with everything else that happened this week, it would be safe to say that it was one of the worst weeks you’ve had this year. All you wanted to do now was curl up with your boyfriends, smoke, and watch trashy television.

Said boyfriends were already on the couch as you walked into the living room, lavender locks leaning against the back of the couch, one hand using the remote to look for something to watch, the other hand running through the messy blonde hair that was sitting in his lap. Your other boyfriend was sprawled out across the couch, laying his head in sleep deprived man's lap as he was texting away on his phone, only the former noticing your quiet entrance.

“Hey Kitten, how was work today?” The former asked, altering Katsuki to presence. He looked up from his phone the same time Hitoshi looked away from the TV, both of them noticing something was wrong right away. Katsuki immediately sat up and moved to the other end of the couch, leaving just enough room for you to sit comfortably in between the two men. You plopped onto the couch and threw your head back and just groaned, earning a small chuckle from the two.

“That bad Teddy Bear?” Katsuki asked, repositioning you so your head was laying on his lap and your legs were on Hitoshis. You just nodded your head and pushed your face into his abdomen, trying not to cry out of frustration.He ran his fingers through your hair as Hitoshi started to rub your sore feet, helping you to relax.

“I don’t really want to talk about it.. Can we just smoke and watch shitty TV please..?” The lavender haired man smiled softly at the pout in your voice, carefully moving your legs to get up before you could even finish what you were saying.

“Of course we can baby. We're gonna have to call Tape Face though, your shitty boyfriend smoked the rest of it last night.” The pomeranian growled out teasingly, effectively bringing a laugh out of you.

“He’s your boyfriend too Katsuki.” You laughed, sitting up straight and stretching. You watched as Hitoshi walked back into the living room, carrying all the things you would need for the nights sesh. You smiled up at him gratefully and pulled out your phone, quickly texting Sero and asking if he was busy. Hitoshi set up the items on the table then sat down on the chaise part of the couch, pulling you to sit in between his legs. Katsuki had gotten up to get drinks and snacks for the three of you, making sure to also grab your favorite. Hitoshi started to scroll through Hulu, settling on My Strange Addiction for now, when your phone started ringing. Sero’s name flashed on your phone, answering it immediately.

“Hey mami! What’s up beautiful?” You laughed as you felt Hitoshis grip tighten around you, Sero has been your friend since you were little kids, growing up in the same neighborhood. If he wasn’t dating Denki when he first introduced you to the Bakusquad then they would’ve thought you guys were together with how much you two flirt.

“Hey Sero. I know it’s late notice but could you make a delivery tonight, preferably soon?”

“Of course (Y/NN), your week not getting any better?” He asked, genuine worry seeping into his voice.

“No, it hasn’t. And a certain SOMEONE,” You looked up at Hitoshi and nudged him with your elbow. “Smoked the rest of what we had this morning and didn’t bother to restock.” He simply rolled his eyes at you.

“You know, if you keep being a brat, then i’m gonna have to teach you a lesson, Kitten.” Hitoshi teased.

“Shinsou Hitoshi! You can’t say things like that on call!” You pouted, hitting him lightly in the chest. You could hear Sero, and Denki since they were always together, losing their shit over the phone. You growled and put the phone back to your ear.

“You know I was gonna invite you guys to smoke with us but I don’t like to hang out with fucking bullies!” You growled into the phone, but started laughing as Kaminari immediately started to back track and apologize, making Sero laugh even harder.

“Just your ass over here already, and bring Kiri and Mina too if they want, we haven’t hung out as a group in forever.” You rolled your eyes as you heard Denki runoff in the background, yelling at Kiri and Mina to get their asses ready, then hearing a loud thud, making your and Hitoshi look at each other curiously.

“We’ll be over in 20 minutes babes... God dammit Denks how many times do I have to tell you not to ru-” The phone quickly hung, making you two roll your eyes yet again, you swear that over excited dumbass is one of the only things that can make Sero lose his never ending patience. You gently threw your phone onto the coffee table and relaxed back into the purple haired man. He kissed your forehead and wrapped himself around you tightly, allowing you to fully relax into his embrace.

About 25 minutes later, a knock startles you from your happy daze. Seeing as Katsuki had taken Hitoshi’s previous position, Hitoshi your position against Katsuki, and you snuggled into Katsuki’s side, you got up to answer the door. As soon as you opened the door you were trapped by a hug from Sero. You relished in the hug for a couple seconds before pulling back and letting him, followed by Denki, Mina, and Kiri. Denki and Kiri immediately made a bee line for the couch, fighting over who would get a hug from their best friend first. (Hitoshi and Katsuki respectively.)

“Well it’s nice to see you guys too, damn.” You mumbled, laughing a little at the end as you see your boyfriends immediately get annoyed with the two loud intrusions.

“How much you wanna bet they’ll be dead within 30 mintues?” Mina said, pulling you into a side hug.

“I give it 20. Tops.” Sero stated as you hug Mina back, leaning into the peck she gave you on the cheek before going to wrangle Kiri in before Katsuki tried to blow him up.

“How’re you doing babes?” Sero asked, turning toward you while he slid his backpack off.

“I’m okay right now, a lot better than earlier. I’m so fuckin ready to get stoned though.” You chuckled, rubbing the back of your neck with your hand.

“I’m just glad that you're feeling better. I swear the next time that bastardo shows his face i’m gonna beat his ass.” He growled, cracking his knuckles to try to be intimidating.

“Get in line Tape Face! Now get the fuck over here so we can get this started!” Katsuki yelled, making you let out a small giggle. Sero followed you into the living room where the chaos had already started. Denki was being half heartedly being consoled by Mina as he cried at Hitoshi for cuddling Katsuki and not him. Meanwhile Hitoshi was glaring daggers and Kiri, who was sitting in your previous spot, and addimently talking to Katsuki.

You simply rolled your eyes and sat at the end of the chaise, Sero sitting in between your legs on the floor. He pulled a ziplock bag out of his backpack and grabbed the grinder off the table, promptly starting to break up the bigger nugs and put them into the grinder. You reached around him and grabbed your bong and a water bottle, pouring some water into the bong. Hitoshi had noticed you guys sit down and grabbed the bottle out of your hand when you were done, trading it with a lighter. Not even a couple minutes later Sero was handing you the grinder and you opened it, starting to pack a bowl while he got the stuff ready to roll a blunt.

You packed the bowl as full as you could and held the lighter to the bowl, starting to inhale. About 10 seconds later, when the chamber was sufficiently filled with smoke, you pulled the bowl out and inhaled again, relishing the feeling of the smoke settling into your lungs as you passed the bong and lighter to Sero. You held it for a couple more seconds before slowly letting the smoke out, feeling yourself relax with the exhale. You took the bag sitting next to Sero and continued to grind for him as he took a hit before passing it to Hitoshi.

You watched Hitoshi take a hit as you continued to twist the grinder back and forth, smiling when he grabbed Katsuki by the collar and exhaled the smoke into his mouth. Katsuki blushed furiously, always being caught off guard when the younger man did things like that, and angrily buried his face into his neck. Hitoshi smirked as he looked down, handing the bong off to an unsuspecting Kiri. (Kiri, Denki, and Mina seriously didn’t realize you guys started until they were dead ass handed the bong-)

Pulling your attention away from your lovers, you handed the full grinder to the man below you, seeing that he already had a blunt wrap split and emptied out. However he just handed the grinder and the tray to Hitoshi, knowing the exhausted man can roll a much prettier blunt than he can. Your head snapped up as you heard Denki start coughing and watched as Mina ripped the bong out of his hands.

“How many times do I have to tell you not to cough into the bong Denki! I swear every time you hit a bong you cough into it!” She yelled, using the sleeve of her shirt to wipe the water off the outside of the glass instrument.

“You're still coughing into the damn bong Kaminari?!” You exasperated, staring at him bewildered. It’s been a good couple months since you had all been able to get together, and in that time he had finally decided to move in with Sero. Sero was the second biggest stoner you’ve ever met, just being beat by Hitoshi, and his favorite thing to use was a bong, you would’ve thought he had taught him by now.

“No matter how many times I tell him he still does it, so now I make him roll a blunt or use a pipe.” Sero shrugged, moving so he could sit between his boyfriend’s legs instead.

“It’s not my fault my lungs are so bad! Whenever I fry myself it fucks up my lungs!” He whined, leaning forward and draping himself of the latino dramatically.

“Which is exactly why you should learn how to use the fucking bong, idiot.” Katsuki spoke up, seemingly over his flustered state for the moment. Denki just whined dramatically, causing you all to sigh in irritation. Mina rolled her eyes and took her hit before passing it off to you. You gripped it tightly and stood up on the couch, very carefully going over to Katsuki and sitting in his lap, his arms immediately wrapping around you and his chin resting on your shoulder.

You held the bong against your lips and went to light the bowl only for Katsuki to snatch it from you, making your lean away and glare at him. He smirked at you and flicked the lighter on, bringing it to the bowl. You rolled your eyes and smirked, putting your mouth back to the bong and inhaling as he lit it for you. You inhaled for a good 15 seconds before he pulled the bowl away, allowing you to inhale the smoke into your lungs. You handed the bong off to him and watched as he leaned it, very clearly wanting you to share the hit with him.

You smiled at the secretly needy man holding you, softly tangling your hand with the hair at the base of his neck and gently pushing him forward. You tilted your head and let the smoke flow from your parted lips into his open mouth before sealing your lips together. Your lips molded together perfectly with his, the rest of the smoke seeping through your nose before you pulled away, still smiling.

You looked on as he opened his eyes, a soft smile settling onto his features before he exhaled fully. You closed your eyes and leaned against him, contentment washing over your body for the first time during this hell week. He chuckled and leaned back against the couch again, taking you with him. You listened to him take another hit and felt as he inhaled and exhaled, feeling the smoke blow across your head as he blew you. He handed the bong off and let his head rest on the back of the couch, slightly tightening his hold on you.

You heard Kiri take another hit as Mina, Sero, and Denki started another fight, letting out a giggle and Katsuki and Hitoshi let out a groan at the same time. You felt Katsuki reach up but paid it no mind until Hitoshi spoke up.

“Hey! That’s no fuckin fair Katsu! You can’t just turn off your hearing aids and leave us to suffer!” Hitoshi let out, holding the frash blunt in the side of his mouth while he signed for Katsuki. Your eyes snapped open and you sat up, giving the blonde your own glare, starting to sign for him.

“Suki! You said you were going to leave them on this time!” You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest when you were done using your hands.

“I’m not gonna listen to these shitty extras fight the whole time, so until they shut the fuck up, i’m leaving them off.” He signed, a satisfied smirk on his face.

“You’re such a fukin asshole suki!” You grumbled, making sure to not sign to him. He just stuck his middle finger up at you and laughed. You just turned away and looked to Hitoshi, taking the blunt out of his mouth and grabbing the lighter. He tried to grab it back but stopped when he saw the mischief in your eyes, sitting back to watch you. You lit the blunt and took a long drag, passing it to Sero on the ground before climbing on Hitoshis’s lap. You gently grabbed his face and opened his mouth slightly with your thumb.

You let the smoke fall from your lips and past his, watching as he sucked in the hit before dipping down to kiss him, raking your right hand through his hair. He pushed up into the kiss, making sure to make a show of grabbing your ass, opening his eyes slightly to lazily glance over at Katsuki, smirking to find him growling at you two.

“Oh come on, get a room you horny lil freaky fucks.” Denki called out, making you burst everyone but Katsuki and Hitoshi burst out into laughter, the latter just deadpanning. You fell too the side to the side of Hitoshi, bumping into Katsuki’s still crossed legs, pulling yourself up when you calmed yourself down.

“What in the fuck did you just call us?!” You asked, noting that Katsuki was signing to Hitoshi and asking what in the hell Denki just said. Said man just shrugged, leaning back against the couch.

“A horny little freaky fuck.” He stated as if it was the most normal thing in the world, causing Mina, Kiri, and Sero to start laughing again. Katsuki had turned his hearing aids on again at this point and had heard what he said.

“If you call my boyfriend and girlfriend that again i’m gonna kick your fucking ass dunce face.” Katsuki rumbled, grabbing his friend by the collar. You just laughed and reached over to his arm, lacing your hand with his and pulling it back to you, kissing the back of it and wrapping it around yourself. He tightened his grip on you and used his other hand to hold Hitoshi’s, growling at Denki.

Denki yelped and jumped off the couch, lowering himself and trying to hide behind Sero, crying Katsuki not to hurt him. Sero just mumbled a “Fucking idiot”, and pulled the yellow haired man against him, leaving his arm around his waist. By this time the blunt had gotten back around to Katsuki and he took his arm off you to take a big hit, moving to lean against the arm of the couch so he could continue holding his boyfriend's hand.

The blond passed the blunt to you when he was done, and you quickly started to inhale, smiling at the familiar burn in the back of your throat. You inhaled for a good while before passing it over to Hitoshi, laying back so your head was now in your other lovers lap. He automatically brought a hand up to your head and raked it through your hair a couple times before simply resting it on top.

You closed your eyes as it finally started to hit you, allowing you to fully relax into your lover. You tuned out the rest of the conversations and background noise easily, focusing on the feeling of Katsuki’s hand on your head and Hitoshi moving so he was laying on your lap while still holding Katsuki’s hand. The blunt got passed around a couple more times before it was finally done, the bong getting thrown in here and there. You had ended up in a position where sitting up against the back of the couch and his legs apart as you sat between them and leaned against him and the arm of the couch. Hitoshi had crawled between the older man's legs and laid his head in your lap, practically purring as you pet his hair.

You were brought back down to reality when Hitoshi got up to grab a drink and change the TV, putting on something funny and didn’t need to be thought about too much. You sat up to, much to your blonde lovers grievance, and reached toward Hitoshi with a pout. He just let out a chuckle and grabbed your favorite drink and snack off the table, handing them to you as he got comfortable in your lap again. You happily took a sip of your drink and set it next to you, making sure to screw the cap tight, before opening your snack.

You munched it absentmindedly and leaned back against the arm of the couch, smiling up at the blonde and offering one to him. He looked around before begrudgingly opening his mouth, allowing you to place the tasty treat inside. You giggled as he grumbled and looked away, still not used to his friends seeing him act “soft”. You heard your other boyfriend let out a laugh at the explosive hero, genuinely happy that he still continues to try and open up to those close to him, especially after the last couple being rough on everyone.

The holidays brought stress to everyone, the spike in crime making the heros (Kirishima, Denki, Katsuki, and Hitoshi.) over work themselves more than usual and become even more exhausted. While you, Mina, and Sero all had to deal with the wonders of working retail and food service during this time, always seeming to get stuck with the absolute worst customers that would threaten your job and life.

The last month has clearly taken a chunk out of everyone, and the almost always rowdy group was just thankful to finally get a restful and relaxing night. Even if the group was full of impulsive ideas and even more impulsive decisions, they never felt more safe than when in each other's company, mastering the art of being alone together when it was truly needed. You smiled as you came to this realisation, knowing that no matter what happened or what obstacles would be thrown your way, as long as you had your boyfriends and your friends, everything was going to be alright. You are going to be alright.

Masterlist

Posted 12/19/2020

296 notes · View notes

akampana · 3 years

Note

Because of zero 10th anniversary I have a lot of people are #Remakesaberroute, and I have mixed feelings about this in one part it would meant the remake of the final farewell of saber and Gilgamesh in 4k, 144fps l, but in the other it would meant suffering trough saber x Shirou again, want do you think, would you like a remake or are satisfied with the original

Do I want a remake?

Actually, I like the idea of a remake, as long as it corrects a critical flaw the Deen adaptation had: the lack of Shirou's internal monologue.

Especially after reading the visual novel, you just realize how much of Shirou the anime, well, left out. Compared to what we get in the VN, the Deen FSN is so half-baked it's like he didn't even make it into the oven.

In the end, the anime was...well...limited by its own medium. There is so much that goes on in the VN that they just couldn't cram it all into 25 half-hour episodes. Not to say the VN is perfect, there are still some issues that I have with it and Nasu himself also said he has some issues with the way things were written, but the depth of Shirou's incredibly messed up state of being is explored there, while the anime doesn't quite get that right.

UBW did a better job of showcasing Shirou's trauma, by frequent flashbacks, Shirou's expressions when he isn't able to save Illya, how they portrayed him and Rin when inside the Blood Fort and all their classmates were unconscious etc. but I still think more can be done.

So I'm not satisfied with the original anime. (VN is better tho xD)

Ship Stuff

Also, while I don't main Shirou x Saber, I definitely realize its importance and respect it (Admittedly, that took me reading through the VNs. I went on this whole obsessive arc after Deen FSN where I was like "No that can't be it! That CAN'T BE IT!" while eating up all three routes like a starving dog.) It's got its own space on my dock, although I haven't boarded that ship in years, and only mention it in passing in most of my works. To see that relationship done right would make me happy. Shirou's relationship with Saber was the most idealistic and well, romantic in the literary sense (come on, endlessly pursuing, endlessly waiting, that shit slaps) and to see it given the justice it deserves would be great actually.

And yeah, Gilgamesh's goodbye? I'd love to see how they showcase that. Tomokazu Seki's delivery of his last words really sold the Deen version and damn I'd like to see him give it another go (FGO's similar line aside).

Other stuff

Whether or not we'd actually get a remake, though? That's the real question. It's more of a want than a need in the Fate fandom, y'know? Especially since a large part of the fanbase swears by the Deen version anyway, and anime aside Arturia and Shirou are very much beloved by the fans.

Plus, a re-adaptation would probably warrant Nasu going back to correct or improve the parts of the route he would have wanted to change. I'm not sure what his stance would be on doing that (and uh, please Nasu, get some sleep) and well, from what I see, the new LB is clearly an ode to the Fate Route. So he might not even have to go back, and instead just continue writing new things.

I would be happy to get it, but I'd be okay with not getting a remake. At this point a remake seems like the stuff of dreams. Tsukihime got its revival though, so you never know.

If anything, maybe at least a wide release of the Last Episode. I'd wanna see that. I mean we have all three routes adapted now, so haven't we unlocked this ending yet?

This?

"Yes welcome back, Shirou." The dream, finally announced its end here.

This I'd love to see.

#akampana asks

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ruewrites · 3 years

Note

bestie can we get some solodeus angst

The Next Step

AO3

WBT

Ship: Solomon/Asmo

Word Count: 3081

Warnings: None

A/N: Hey Anon! So I struggled with this request for a bit. So I decided to write a little oneshot for WBT. I hope you like it and I hope this may be what you had in mind for some angst (with a happy ending)!

“So do you wanna do something this week? We could go check out that movie we thought might be bad. Frankenzilla’s Aquatic Monstrocity Two?” he tried to make his voice sound as tempting as possible. The semester was coming to a close and Asmo missed his boyfriend. It felt like he hadn’t seen him outside of the one class they had together and even then their only greeting was a quick kiss before running to the next place.

Sure they had coffee trips still, but both of them were too exhausted to usually say much and then classes interrupted any other time they might have.

Solomon sighed on the other end of the line. The soft tapping of his keyboard reached Asmo on the other end of the line. Was it another application or course work this time? Perhaps he was responding to another email from the staff at one of the schools he applied to. There were many options, and each one twisted a knot in his stomach.

“I can’t tonight. I’m overloaded right now. You know, assignments destined to kill me and all. If not the assignments, the applications.” Despite the chuckle tinting his voice, Asmo could hear how tired Solomon was. He could practically picture the piles of empty or lukewarm coffee cups surrounding him. It was a familiar sight, and one that Asmo would often see when trying to coax him to bed to relax and get some sleep. That was another thing Asmo had been missing: cuddling. The way Solomon’s arms would wrap around his waist, or when Asmo would commandeer Solomon’s chest as his own personal pillow.

Quality time was something Asmo desperately needed, especially before the next step came… And graduation was rapidly approaching.

“Well, we don’t have to see the movie!” Asmo’s voice was coming out quickly, and he hated it.

“Asmo-”

“We can go walk in the park-”

“I really ca-”

“Or we could go to our favorite cafe! The one off campus. Wouldn't it be-”

“Asmodeus.”

Asmo’s words died on his tongue. Solomon snapped at him. Solomon never snapped at him. Not once in the entire year they’d been together as a couple. When they were younger maybe, but not in their more recent history. It made Asmo sick to his stomach.

A small whimper left his throat and his fingers gripped his phone a little tighter.

“Fuck,” Asmo swore he heard Solomon slump back onto the couch, “Asmo, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. Asmodeus I-”

“It’s fine,” Asmo was fighting back tears, “It’s fine really-”

“No. No it’s not I shouldn’t talk to you like that, sleep deprived or not. I know you Asmodeus, I know it’s not just fine,” Solomon finally let exhaustion overtake him, his voice was dripping with it, “And I really am sorry, I can’t hang out right now. I want to, I really really do. Honest.”

“It’s fine,” the words came out softer this time before silence stretched over the line.

Solomon was the first one to break it, “I love you and I miss you.”

“I love you too.” Asmo was just barely keeping himself together, and he had no doubt that Solomon knew this. Solomon knew him too well.

“I’ll make it up to you as soon as I can. I promise. I love you, so very much Asmodeus. Goodnight, I’ll see you in class tomorrow if I’m still alive.”

Asmo didn’t even crack a smile at Solomon’s attempt at a joke when he heard the familiar click signaling the end of their call.

They were seniors. They didn’t have much left. What was the next step?

At the news that Mammon could pull some strings to get Asmo some sort of job in the fashion world, he’d been elated. He’d talked about it days upon days on ends with Solomon, and Solomon had been so happy for him. Meanwhile Solomon had been pacing back and forth, waiting for some sort of response from a master’s program. He’d said he’d be happy getting into any school, lucky even, but Asmo knew him. Solomon had his favorite, his ambitious Solomon aimed for the stars and Asmo had no doubt in his mind that he’d end up right where he wanted to be.

But that scared him.

It made him feel terrible. He should be supportive of and happy for Solomon, yet something was holding him back. At this rate, they would only have the summer together, and that wasn’t enough time. The summer would fly by before Asmo knew it and then he’d maybe have to help Solomon move into some fancy dorm somewhere far away from him and his love.

At one point he’d been excited about the next step in his life, but now graduation just seemed like a looming storm overhead.

His mind was wandering and he couldn’t stop it.

He’d had breakups over less. Expecting Solomon to stay with him after they graduated was selfish, and yet he dared to hope for it. The best he could hope for was that Solomon asked for a break. Was it any better? No. But at least Asmo would have the illusion of hope. People broke up with Asmo over him deciding to dress down or for being too clingy. Then again, he knew he’d dated shallow people in the past and Solomon wasn’t shallow.

But it was still selfish for him to want what he did.

But a part of him didn’t care.

Asmo wasn’t stupid. He knew Solomon was the best he’d ever had. He was attentive, remembered when Asmo said little things, made him feel good in more ways than one, and was nothing short of wonderful. There was no way Asmo was going to let himself lose him and yet-

“He’s going to break up with me.”

“You don’t know that.”

One of the cats of the cafe rubbed against his side. Perhaps she could feel his sorrow. Asmo had just finished sobbing in his room before texting Satan. His pillow had become completely damp with tears and his eyes were red and puffy and looked as if they were made out of glass. Satan could keep his thoughts level and talk Asmo out of whatever negativity currently plagued his thoughts.

“But he hasn’t been spending time with me! Our normal hang out times have been completely run over!” Asmo sniffled, half-heartedly bringing his tea closer to his lips, “This is how breaking up normally starts.”

Satan shook his head, “You really think he went to all that work to get with you only to break up with you? Didn’t he get a tattoo to represent your relationship or something like that when the two of you had barely been dating for a month?”

“Three months. He wanted to get it a month in, but it took me three months to the day of our anniversary to finish the sketch.” Asmo’s fingertips lightly traced the rim of the cup, eyes fixed on his reflection inside. He’d wanted that tattoo to be perfect. So many scrapped ideas had flown around in his head before he was finally happy with one, that and he’d been nervous about Solomon getting a tattoo dedicated to them. They’d gone to every appointment together. Asmo said he wanted to make sure the art was good, what he meant was that he wanted to make sure Solomon didn’t change his mind.

Had it really all been for nothing?

Suddenly his phone buzzed.

💖Honey Dearest💖: Hey

💖Honey Dearest💖: Look I feel really bad

💖Honey Dearest💖: And I’m very sorry

💖Honey Dearest💖: Incredibly sorry

💖Honey Dearest💖: You deserve so much Asmo, and my time for you has been taken up by other things

💖Honey Dearest💖: But I’ll have free time this weekend and I can make reservations for us

💖Honey Dearest💖: I need to talk to you about something

💖Honey Dearest💖: Something that’s been on my mind

Asmo’s heart stopped. With shaking hands he shot up, startling the poor kitty next to him. He shoved his phone into Satan’s face, “See? See??? He wants to talk so he can let me down easy! Oh I’m going to lose him!”

“Asmo hush. You’re startling the cats,” Satan’s brow furrowed as he looked over the text messages, “He’s not saying anything about breaking up with you. It actually seems like he’s putting effort in to see you.”

“You don’t know that! I’ve been here before. I know this isn’t good I- I-”

Oh he was the definition of a mess right now.

“And you don’t know that he’s going to break up with you. You’re not the only one who’s dated people Asmo,” Satan pushed the phone back into his hands and went to pick the forgotten, luckily unspilled, cup up. “Send him a text and at least hear him out. I think you're reading too much into this.”

Asmo had drowned Satan out. He vaguely saw him go behind the counter to start remaking his drink again, but other than that Asmo didn’t process a thing.

Keeping Solomon was his main goal. He needed to figure out how to convince him that they were good for each other, that they could make this work. If he did leave him, Asmo knew that was it. He knew Solomon was the best he could get, and he wasn’t about to lose his chance at a happy future.

After texting Solomon an agreement to the meetup and deciding on a place, the rest of Asmo’s days leading up to the weekend were consumed with worry. In the end he’d made a list of reasons as to why they should stay together and how they could make everything work. If he was being honest with himself, he knew this list was more for him. He wanted to remember his reasons for when the time came. The last thing he wanted was to be left blubbering in public.

He’d made himself up nice. If Solomon was planning to break up with him, he wanted to assure he looked fine as hell and make him second guess the decision. It’d been a while since he’d done himself up this well, maybe he should do it more often. He used to do this all the time with partners because he wanted to make sure they loved him. But Solomon had loved him so matter what. He loved looking at Asmo first thing in the morning before he did himself up and when he was still in one of Solomon’s shirts.

Asmo had never felt this comfortable in a relationship before. He’d never felt so safe before.

…

He was going to miss that so much…

The feeling of being safe.

Being wanted.

Being adored.

Despite his worries, the whistle that left Solomon’s lips sent a blush to his cheeks.

“You really look nice.”

Solomon’s hair was slicked back the way Asmo liked it. Why did he also have to put effort into his appearance? Asmo felt even more anxious now, looking at him in the doorway. Solomon was the only one who’d ever made his heart flip like this. It had been impossible to calm himself all the way over to the restaurant.

Solomon had always been good at picking up when something was off, and Asmo had to wonder what he was thinking. Then again, even though Asmo was being uncharacteristically quiet, Solomon seemed uncharacteristically chatty. Asmo knew he could get that way about things he enjoyed, but this wasn’t one of those moments. Instead Solomon was tripping over his words as he discussed… nothing really. The sinking feeling in his stomach continued as they took their food and left once again to a little secluded place in the park. Solomon has suggested it, he mentioned that it might be best if they could be alone for a bit.

It didn’t make Asmo feel better.

Eating didn’t really seem possible. Instead, Asmo was pushing the food around inside his box. He’d take a bite eventually, as soon as he was sure it’d go down alright.

“I heard back from the program I applied to,” Solomon started, “I got in.”

“Oh? I’m so happy for you! Solomon that’s wonderful!” Asmo hoped his cheeriness didn’t sound forced.

Are you going to leave?

“Yeah! It’s a huge relief. One less thing I have to worry about.” Solomon went silent now. The inches between them felt like miles to Asmo. He should feel happier for him. His boyfriend’s dreams were coming true, he knew Solomon had wanted this program more than anything. Why couldn’t he be happy for him?

The soft shutting of Solomon’s to go box brought Asmo’s attention back. Their shoulders brushed and Solomon kept the contact.

“I’m happy I can have this with you,” he murmured, “I know I haven’t been around much this half of the semester, and I do mean it when I say I’m sorry about that. You deserve only good things Asmodeus. You do.”

Asmo stiffened.

“The past year has been nothing but amazing, you’ve been nothing but amazing.”

He was tripping over his words. He’d heard this phrasing before.

“I mean every moment I’ve known you has been a pleasure, but having you close like this, it’s been… wonderful.”

Now. He should say it now. Say how he’d give up an easy in to his dream and follow Solomon wherever he went if it meant they could stay together. The past year had been a dream and Asmo wasn’t ready to wake up and let go yet. He’d go to the ends of the world for Solomon, he’d give up his life for him. The future seemed so blank without Solomon, and Asmo was scared to enter it without him.

“So, what do you say Asmodeus Morningstar? Do you want to take the next step together?”

Wait.

What?

“Will you marry me?”

Asmo hadn’t realized his eyes were closed. Kneeling in front of him, with the most gorgeous ring Asmo had ever seen, was Solomon. He looked so hopeful yet nervous. There was only one thing Asmo knew, and that was that he wasn’t a pretty crier.

Through blurry eyes he watched as panic overtook his boyfriend as he scrambled to stand up, “Hey hey hey. It’s okay. We don’t have to-”

Asmo wanted to say something more, wanted to say something profound and loving to Solomon. Instead what came out was unintelligible blubbering for his boyfriend to decipher.

“What do I mean by that?” Solomon asked, “Well I don’t want to force you to marry me. I just thought it would be nice to ask before graduation, and I know I haven’t been able to see you and-”

As Asmo wiped the tears from his eyes, Solomon took in a breath and slowly let it out, “I love you, and even if I couldn’t see you I’ve had a lot of time to think about this.”

Asmo wrapped his arms around Solomon’s neck as he sniffled, and for the first time since their last talk on the phone he found himself smiling. This isn’t what he thought their proposal would look like at all. “I’d like to get married.”

��You would?”

“Yes,” looking into Solomon’s eyes and Asmo almost choked on his words again, “Yes.”

Kissing Solomon had always been a heavenly experience, but Asmo couldn’t help but laugh as his fiance left his lips to cover every inch of his skin in love. Asmo also didn’t miss the way his hands shook when he put that ring on his finger.

After all of his anxieties, this was definitely a breath of fresh air.

Although, he wouldn’t be telling Satan about how right he’d been.

***

“You suuuuure we can’t get a house?”

“Asmo we won’t be living there forever, we can rent out an apartment and then go house shopping.”

“Mmh, I still like the idea of having a house.”

Asmo sat in between his fiance’s legs, Solomon’s chin resting on his shoulder as the two of them looked over their options. There were a few nice places between Solomon’s grad school and where Asmo would have to drive for his new employer. He’d made sure Mammon knew where the school was so he had a radius to look at. Luckily, Mammon seemed to know a guy.

This whole situation had been lucky. Asmo wanted to follow Solomon so badly, talking on the phone or video chatting simply just wouldn’t be enough! Solomon’s only condition had been if Asmo could also pursue his dreams as well. No way was he going to let him not take an opportunity if something was offered to him!

But it worked out, it always did. It always would one way or another.

“One day we’ll get a nice house, make it all our own,” Solomon mouthed against his neck, “As soon as we get married.”

Giggles left Asmo’s mouth as Solomon’s mouthing turned into tiny butterfly kisses, “I’d like that. But now that you mention it, we never got to celebrate our engagement did we?”

Solomon paused and looked up at Asmo with a quirked brow. “Celebrate?” his arms tightened around Asmo’s waist, “What did you have in mind?”

Oh Asmo loved that wicked smirk.

“I wanna ceeelebraaate,” he giggled, leaning further into Solomon’s chest.

“I heard you, but that doesn’t tell me what you want.”

Asmo was about to go further when Simeon cleared his throat. He stared at the couple from the archway leading to the kitchen, “Mindful. Someone will be arriving home soon. Don’t make me banish you from the living room.”

“Ah, sorry Simeon, don’t worry, we’ll be mindful.”

“You better, I already have to think about looking for a new roommate because of you.”

The tone between them was playful, they’d become relatively good friends since Solomon started living there from what Asmo could see.

“I’m sure I could help,” Asmo chirped, “Maybe one of my brothers or someone else we know might be interested.”

“Thank you Asmodeus, I appreciate that. Now behave, both of you.”

When Simeon disappeared, Solomon leaned close to Asmo’s ear, “We’ll celebrate as soon as we move into the new apartment.”

“Oooh I like that! I guess that means we should pick one out then yes?”

“Oh my smart fiance is very incredibly right.”

Solomon leaned in for a kiss and Asmo gladly obliged.

While the future was still uncertain to a point, they had each other, and they’d be taking their next steps together.

#anon #request #anon request #WBT #obey me #ruewrites #obey me solomon #obey me asmodeus #obey me simeon #obey me satan #human!au #soloasmo #asmosolo #asmodeus x solomon #solodeus

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extremelyblackandwhite · 4 years

Text

handmaid - 18

PAIRING: mob!sebastian stan x ingenue!reader

WARNINGS: age gap

A/N: someone last chapter said y/n was like cinderella and now i can’t forget it. i just love that movie, it’s such a good live-action remake. hope you enjoy this chapter xxx

NEXT CHAPTER

- Gwen, you don’t need all of this. - half the staff of the penthouse was carrying bags and more bags into the lift that was almost filled with what looked like the full contents of two medium sized bedrooms. - It’s only for three weeks, Gwen. Besides, it’s freezing cold you won’t need a bathing suit.

- What if dad takes me to the Caribbean for New Years? - she crossed her arms, still pulling more and more clothing off her chest of drawers making the room look more messy than a bin area. Y/N sighed, grabbing some clothes and starting to fold them, placing them on the bed. - I have to be prepared, Y/N. People cannot see me looking less than.

- No one would see you as less than, Gwen. - probably over the top but never less than, Y/N thought to herself. - I don’t think all of this is gonna fix in the car. You’ll probably need to put some in the front and back seat.

- That is a great idea. - she closed the drawer with her feet. - You can go tomorrow so we have more space in the car today.

- But ... Gwen.

- You are so smart. - the heiress patted her shoulder, handing her one of her brand named luggage. Y/N just sighed, it was probably alright to go tomorrow but that meant she would miss the decorating of the big Christmas tree in the big lobby. But then again, it was Christmas, the time to think of others and if bringing the entire wardrobe made Gwen happy, then Y/N was happy.

With two luggage bags hanging from her arms and one being held in her arms, she adventured herself into the staircase. However, due to the fact her sight was obstructed by the amount of suitcases, her feet tripped over each other and soon enough she felt herself flying towards the ground. She awaited the impact but instead someone grabbed her by her arms, the only impact felt being the sound created by the bags as they hit the floor in loud bang noises.

- Slow down, little angel. - she bite on her lip, recognising the voice. - You could’ve hurt yourself.

- Just some last minute packing. - Y/N jumped off his arms onto the marbled floors, straightening the fabric of her dress with her hands.

- Doesn’t look very last minute. - he commented. - Three weeks, huh? That’s a bit long without seeing your pretty face around.

- You should be saying three weeks without seeing your wife to be will be long. - she handed one of the valets Gwen’s bags before she came downstairs and started panicking.

- You shouldn’t lie during Christmas. It’s Jesus birthday. - he chuckled, immediately returning to his regular stoic presence once Gwen came down the stair holding another bag. - Genevieve, my whole staff should not be packing the car.

- Not your whole staff besides if you need anything ask Y/N, she’s still staying here for a day longer.

- Gwen needs space in the car. - Y/N spoke up and before Sebastian could argue her own selflessness, she, along with several bags and Gwen, were already going down in the lift to the entrance where several staff where waiting with golden rolling cages to put all the luggage in so it could be hauled easily into the car. As everything got settled and placed, Y/N peaked her head into the window. - Are you sure you’re alright going on your own?

- Yes, Y/N. You can go now, I’ll send the car for you tomorrow.

Y/N stepped back, waving goodbye as the car drove the heiress back to her family home. Sure, deep on the inside where no one but herself could see it but her, she was grieving losing what they did just before Christmas Eve. The decorating of the tree where she could put her very old yet near and dear precious ornament on the tree, the baking of the dough for the sugar cookies so they could be baked tomorrow but Christmas was not about Y/N, it was not about just one individual, it was about being there for those you loved and despite all, Y/N loved Gwen as much as a friend could ... sadly, she might also love her husband to be.

As the car disappeared in the horizon, Y/N returned to the lobby, smiling at the lobby staff before she entered the lift which took her back to the penthouse. She had to admit the penthouse looked beautiful in the Christmas spirit. As she noticed the Christmas tree by the piano, an idea came into her mind and like a flash, she went into her bedroom, grabbed the red box and returned to the living room. Her hands delicately opened the box, staring at the still intact by time golden ornament. In her wildest fantasies as a child, she dreamed of marrying a prince, living her own life in her own little kingdom and pass the bauble down to her offspring. Yet those were childish fantasies and every once in a while, people need to grow and get newer fantasies.

- Leaving the room will not stop me from arguing with you, angel. - she held the ornament to her chest, softly turning on her feet to see Sebastian standing there, looking at her with a teasing smile. - She doesn’t need all that luggage.

- It’s alright, Elias said he’d drive tomorrow.

- What do you have there? - he pointed at her red glossy box, noticing the gold written Cartier on top. - A present from Gwen?

- Not quite. - she opened the little drawer, holding onto the golden string of the gold bauble. - Mr. Forrest gave it to me when I was little. I always put it on the Christmas tree on the 23rd.

- You sure you don’t want me to drive you there myself? I’m sure if ...

- I don’t wanna bother you or the staff. They deserve a Christmas break too.

- I don’t know if it helps but ... - he stepped next to her. - You can always put it on our Christmas tree.

- Why don’t you put it? - she handed him the bauble and he probably would’ve said no, had it not been by the soft smile and hopeful nature her shining eyes had as she held the string. Sebastian merely smiled back, putting the ornament in the first free branch he saw, something he hadn’t done since he was a young boy. - It looks lovely. Doesn’t it?

- You find beauty in everything, angel. - his eyes glued on the golden necklace that was always wrapped around her neck which somehow seemed to glisten even more than before. - You know, you never really told me about that little necklace you lost when we first meet.

- Oh ... it was my mother’s. - she smiled. - It’s been with me for ages. It’s a robin you know? The bird. When I was a little girl I used to think that was her name, Robin.

- My father used to know someone named Robin. Peculiar name, isn’t it?

- Yeah, I always wonder about them during the holidays. Do you not ... wonder about your parents that is?

- My father and I didn’t have the best relationship but I do miss my mother. She passed away a long time ago but ... she used to have the best sugar cookie recipe.

- You don’t mean to tell me the mob boss cooks. - she poked his shoulder playfully. - You ought to teach me someday.

- Of course, now go pack.

Y/N had spent most of the day packing, deciding what to bring and what to show to the house staff. Not that she had a lot that she could show for but she wanted to bring the dress Sebastian gave her to show to the maids of the kitchen. Also because it had quickly climbed up to be one of her favourite gowns even with all the hand me downs from Genevieve.

She had fallen asleep mumbling Christmas carols, her mind going to one of her favourite time of the years and to the smells of cooking in the kitchen. She woke up with an unusual cold rushing down her spine. She popped her head from under the covers, eyes gazing at the outside of the Upper East through her window only to see it fully covered with lots and lots of fluffy snow. Oh no.

She rushed down the stairs like a mad men, punching the button of the lift which seemed to take ages to arrive and even longer to reach the lobby. She ran to the doors, pushing it open to the see the very busy Upper East Side with nothing but people walking.

- I’m sorry, sir. Are any cars leaving? - she asked the valet outside the door

- Not today, Miss. All the streets are blocked. Pretty bad blizzard last night.

- Oh ... - if her heart could physically break, it had just broken. - Thank y ...

- MISS Y/N. - one of the bodyguards rushed after her. - You almost gave us a fright, you could’ve gotten hurt.

- There’s no cars leaving. - she spoke with the weight of the world on her voice, following the bodyguard onto the living room. Most of the staff was gone and only essential and in-house living staff was in, mostly cooking for the holidays.

- Angel, are you alright? - Sebastian showed up from her left, still dressed in what looked like his sleeping clothes.

- There’s no cars leaving NY. - Y/N didn’t dare look anyone in the eyes, afraid her overwhelming sadness would manifest into tears if she dared to do so. - The blizzard ... nothing’s leaving ... I can’t go home.

- Nonsense. There must be something leaving. - his hand rested against her shoulder which was rather cold due to the contact with the cold weather outside. - Why don’t you go with Amelia and have something to eat? We’ll figure it out.

- Yes, come Miss Y/N ... - Amelia put her hands in the small back of Y/N. - I’ll make you some warm tea before you get sick. Come on.

Y/N was rushed into the kitchen by the cook while Sebastian grabbed his phone. Surely something had to be working, it wasn’t like she could walk what would regularly be a half an hour ride, she would freeze to death. No planes or personal flying vehicles were clear for take off and no cars or drivers were being allowed to drive.

- Angel ... - he called out for the young girl who looked bluer than night ice. - Why don’t you go and take a warm bath while I figure this out?

- Come along now. - Amelia pushed her off her seat before she could rebuff him. As the two disappeared into the hallway, Sebastian called out whatever he had left of staff which wasn’t too much. Luckily the stores were open and brave souls could adventure themselves into walking into them.

- Right, you all have exactly one hour to turn this house into a Christmas paradise. Food, carolling, movies, all of it. It’s an order. Now go.

tag list: @lilya-petrichor @xoxohannahlee @irespostthingsiwanttoseelater @nikkipea @madisonpillstrom @cevans98 @thelostallycat @sideeffectsofyou @anxiousdreamersworld @captainchrisstan @lookiamtrying @sarge-barnes-sir @stuffforreferences @thebadassbitchqueen

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan/reader #sebastian stan xyou #sebastian stan/you #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan/y/n #mobster!sebastian stan #mob!sebastian stan #mob boss! sebastian stan #mafia!sebastian stan

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taglegend · 3 years

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Tag Fact #3 - I’ve come to realize I’ve always been a fan artist more than I thought. so here is a timeline of influences that shaped my childhood to now. from nostalgic times, to sad changes, to great loss, to strange rises to fame and phases, to stepping stones and finally a laughing place. all the things that make up your favorite fan artist Tag.

1. Rayman (bumped into this in the year of 1999) was actually the first fandom (with crossovers) I bumped into when I was 9. although the internet wasn’t available at the time it was still fun to dwell in home amusements. I remember the storylines and the OC’s I made but they’re kind of embarrassing and it’s probably a good thing there was no internet. I’ve done fanart and comic crossovers of Rayman with Calvin and Hobbs and Nights Into Dreams, spinoffs of Sonic the Hedgehog OC’s, Yoshi with Pikachu, and the Pokemon/Digimon craze with OC’s and other Nintendo comic shorts. but the drawings and comics are long gone and disappeared in the garage in a backpack due to suspecting my sister’s dad accidentally throwing them away. years later towards the year 2018 (now 28), we decided to move to North Carolina and it was my chance to find them again. unfortunately the backpack was gone just like I suspected (my main stuff), but for some reason I found my Pokemon/Digimon fanart, a good batch of Super Mario drawings (vaguely remember doing these), my sister’s drawings and some other neighborhood kids’ drawings in a dirty box. I was partially happy I found something at least but it was the backpack I wanted the most. sometimes I regret not looking for the backpack (’cause I was too busy being a kid) but it’s alright, noone needs to see that shit anyway, ha ha. anyways, I recall being a fan of Rayman from 1999 ‘til 2002.

2. Sonic Adventure 2 Battle (bumped into this in the year of 2003) my second fandom I bumped into when I was 12 going on 13. at the time, my sister and I both liked the Sonic The Hedgehog Franchise based on the Battle remake and ended up making our own secret fanart club that consisted of only us two members. she liked Sonic (and that was her boyfriend, ha ha) and I liked Knuckles (and he was my boyfriend, ha ha) and we were crazy in love about Shadow’s backstory. we listened to the game’s soundtracks as we drew fanart and comics after school and man, those were good times. however, as we grew older towards the year of 2005, we ended up having separate rooms and I believe it played a part in disconnecting on the same interest. then one day, I asked her why she wasn’t into Sonic anymore and she replied, “Because I grew up.” I was sad after that and slowly observed that she was influenced by the emo culture and the new friends she’s made. I was the only member of our little club for a little longer...but eventually I moved on too. I still have some surviving fanart we did together but it doesn’t mean shit anymore since she turned out to be an abusive mother from the last I’ve heard of her.

3. Gorillaz (bumped into this in the year of 2006). as the Sonic years were at its end, I first heard the song “Feel Good Inc” on Music Choice and seeing the first image of them as displayed on this post (except the fan-made background doesn’t count since I can’t find the original artwork). this was my third fandom and later had proper access to the internet to the website I still currently use called DeviantArt. at first I liked 2D but eventually fell for Murdoc and developed a spiritual connection towards the character as obviously seen in my old fanart and rare photos of my devotion shrines on Valentine’s Day and his birthday every year. for the longest time since being a permanent fan from 2006-2017 (11 1/2 years) I had no knowledge that it was a political propaganda band and other realizations I don’t want to talk about. I only followed them because it was a cartoon and not the bullshit behind the musical project. the world I’ve built and support for them for all those 11 1/2 years shattered the fuck out of me and I just wanted to be left alone to find myself again, somehow. activity stopped on all my profiles, the flow of fanart stopped since I now cringe from the fan service and felt I was used for my talent. I didn’t want to be reminded of it all so I took down all my Gorillaz fanart and archived them for old followers’ nostalgia but also in the hopes they’ll be forgotten in my timeline. I ceased to exist in the fandom for huge personal reasons but it’s best to not say why. I know for sure that the fandom wonders what happened but it’s none of their business. THE END.

4. Waluigi (although I knew he’s been around since 2000 during childhood, I took deep interest once I revisited the character again in the year of December 2013). as silly as this sounds, when I revisited him again, the character was so bizarre that I ended up staying up 3 nights and 3 days in a row just looking all over the internet on everything about him and the questionable “hush-hush” absence of a backstory. despite there being no backstory he slowly gained a cult following and in many ways it’s a good thing. however, since the early 2010′s tension has been building up between Nintendo and its fans about him starring in a main game but everyone hasn’t fully gotten it in their heads that it’s not gonna happen. as long as Nintendo is in control of that, the fandom will not win, I’m sorry to say. on the other hand, if it’s going to be this way, then that’s what fanart and comic projects are for. as for me, I am doing my very best to get my comic project “Waluigi Land” going. again, I apologize if it’s taking very long to get Chapter 2 going if you’ve been keeping track but aha moments need to develop before I start permanent drawing (since concepts, character design and storyline needed improvement badly). as of right now I am still a Waluigi fan and I will not quit on him.

5. Turbo from Wreck-It-Ralph (although it debuted in 2012, I watched the movie two years later into the year 2014). for some bizarro reason, I had an unhealthy obsession with this character to the point where I dressed up as him for Halloween 2014. only 2 fanarts of him and the Turbo Twins exist on my profiles, mainly because my mind was more focused on just ‘thinking about him’ or ‘being him’ rather than drawing physical drawings. luckily, this supposed alleged fandom didn’t last long a little after Halloween so I chalk it up as a very short phase. to this day I don’t know what has gotten over me about him. the only thing I can think of now is that I think it’s because the character had yellow eyes and teeth but I don’t know. now that I think of it, that little fucker was ugly as hell and I STILL don’t know what had gotten over me. one day, my brother mentioned what that was about, and I said to him, “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

6. Undertale (although it debuted in 2015, I later took interest in it in 2016). It was all about Sans and Papyrus. I couldn’t get enough of the skeleton bros. eventually Toriel and Mettaton EX became my favorites but it took a long time to draw more of all 4 of them because I had other important things to do in my life plus I was still waiting for the next Gorillaz album to revive my imaginative juices (or so I thought). I really want to have this as one of my frequent fandoms but I just don’t have time for it anymore. it’s still in the back of my head to want to draw them but at this point I still have other better interests to be in. and besides, I’m lazy just like Sans.

7. Cuphead (June 28th, 2017 was the official day I called quits on the British-based band Gorillaz due to the bullshit behind it. since that date I was lost, had no inspiration to look forward to and no cartoon guy to make me smile...but lo and behold of the same year, I took an interest in playing the game Cuphead and man...that shit was a frightening exaggerated metaphor for being on that one drug (forgot the name though) and having sex at the same time but man that was the best fun I’ve had in years. I mean, it’s like, enemies are just so happy to murder you and that scared the shit outta me. and the facial exaggeration?....I think I should stop, ha ha. anyways, the Moldenhauers saved my ass from spiraling down, they have no clue. anyways, eventually I became a permanent fan of their work so to ease the hurt and erase my past from the G-fandom I had to re-wire my brain into a different cartoon category that’s a rather more American, so anything Toon related like Roger Rabbit, Felix the Cat or another favorite that’s a western-based cartoon makes me feel better, especially my new man .......King Dice <3 <3<3<3. however, there was something about this new fandom category I still didn’t quite understand until the date March 14th, 2020. I finally understood what it was but I feel I shouldn’t bring it up. anyways, Cuphead and anything western or rubber hose is my last stop in inspiration for the remaining years of my life. many say never say never but I believe I’ve found my laughing place and that’s all that matters.

#tag facts #influences from cartoons #likes and dislikes #thoughts i have about characters #toons #rayman #sonic the hedgehog #gorillaz #waluigi #turbo #wreck it ralph #undertale #cuphead

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