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loveinhawkins · 2 years

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Steve continues to trace letters onto Eddie’s palm—the only reason Eddie hasn’t called for a nurse, doctor, anyone is because Steve had fixed him with a stubbornly determined look when he went to do so, and Eddie didn’t need it spelled out to know what that meant.

Dude, let me finish.

“You’re fucking unreal,” Eddie had whispered.

Now Steve prods insistently, right in the centre of Eddie’s palm.

Eddie blinks; it takes him a moment to figure out that Steve isn’t writing a letter this time.

“…Me?” Eddie tries.

Steve’s finger drags down then up, stopping right underneath Eddie’s pinky. A checkmark. Eddie lets out a breathy laugh.

More letters. OK?

Eddie feels something within him crack. “I’m okay,” he says, tries to smile.

A circle now, sweeping round and round. Different to how Steve draws an ‘O.’ He repeats it a few times, perhaps noticing Eddie’s confusion, then spells out ‘OK?’ again.

Then it clicks and, smiling again—Christ, he hopes it looks reassuring—Eddie squeezes Steve’s hand with a sudden wave of affection.

“Everyone’s okay,” he replies, and he says it again, softer, when he feels Steve’s fingers tremble slightly. “Promise. Everyone’s okay, Steve. It’s…” He takes a deep breath. “I think it’s fucking over, man.”

Silence. No movement, no words. Just the two of them breathing, and if Eddie is feeling overwhelmed by that statement after just a week of absolute insanity, he can’t begin to imagine how Steve is taking it.

Then Steve abruptly launches back into activity, now tapping rapidly on the back of Eddie’s hand; and Eddie can practically hear the eagerness, the fucking exclamation marks in it. Tap, tap, tap!

“I’m literally right here,” Eddie says. His cheeks ache with the sudden force of his grin, but it’s a welcome kind of pain.

Steve’s finger returns to Eddie’s palm, lingers there.

Eddie laughs, reminded of the Lite-Brite and the impossible golden shimmers; thinking that he’d never feel such wonder again.

Steve keeps drawing the question mark until Eddie snorts. “Okay, okay, I get it! That tickles, man.”

Tap, tap, tap.

Eddie takes a deep breath. “I—uh. Shit, I don’t really know where to start.”

Steve smiles again beneath his mask. His eyes travel across the room pointedly, and Eddie can almost hear it. Start wherever. M’not exactly going anywhere.

So Eddie does. It’s a very censored version; he can’t bring himself to really talk about what happened right after Steve had… He skirts around it, says, “After you—u-um, you—”, then leaps hurriedly forward into how he stumbled across Steve’s song and all the playthroughs of it; his meeting with El, the news of Henry’s death; how the carnage caused by The Upside Down truly bleeding into their world (by Steve dying) seems to be healing, bit by bit.

He gets through all of that, and for a few minutes Steve does nothing; his eyes go a little glassy, but Eddie pushes back his initial fear—Steve’s just in deep thought, nothing sinister.

He sees Steve’s lips move ever so slightly, mouthing, “Wow.”

Eddie sighs, suddenly exhausted. “Yeah. Wow.”

Steve’s finger prods the back of his hand again.

OK?

Eddie frowns. “You already—I told you, I’m—”

But Steve doesn’t let up, his touch both gentle and insistent.

“Steve. I’m fine.”

Eddie scoffs. “I said I’m—” But there’s a familiar sharp tightness in his chest that cuts the words off, and Steve’s eyes look far too knowing, and suddenly more comes spilling out, no matter how much Eddie tries to stop himself.

While he still can’t address how Steve was… gone, he talks around the fear, talks about how he was somehow not arrested; the mythical like reappearance of Chief Hopper.

And then he talks about finding Wayne, and his throat closes up completely.

“Jesus,” he gets out eventually. “Just ignore me, man, I’m—”

Go.

Eddie stares. “What? Steve, I can’t just—”

Steve’s touch grows firmer. Go.

“No! I’m not fucking leaving you like—”

“Eddie.” It’s the weakest of whispers, Steve’s voice splintering with every syllable. “Go… see him.”

Eddie shakes his head. Tears bite at his eyes but he pushes them back, angry at himself, because he wants to go, wants to see Wayne so badly that it hurts.

“You’re n-not…” Steve lifts up the mask, gasps through a shallow inhale, but he raises one hand, as if sensing Eddie’s unease. I’m okay. “Li…sten. Not running. Go.”

“But—”

“Go.” Steve gives a feeble flick of his hand, as if to say non-negotiable. “Will… be here when you’re… back.” He puts the mask back in place. “P-promise.”

I’ll hold you to that, Eddie thinks, but he can’t even speak when he leaves, watching numbly as a group of staff bustle over to Steve’s room, clipboards in hand.

He’s alone. He’s alone in there, and I left him.

Perhaps Steve wanted it like this, but that thought is muted compared to the spiral of Eddie’s self-loathing as he walks away. No matter what Steve says, it still feels like running. Like a betrayal.

When he enters the hotel room, the first thing he sees is the harsh red glare of the alarm clock. 1:17am. Then, there’s Wayne, sat in the desk chair, clearly kept up by his usual working hours. He’s doing the crossword; Eddie can see where he’s sketched out answers in pencil first before going over them in pen when he’s certain of the word.

Maybe it’s the normality of the scene that does it. All Eddie knows is that he’s suddenly shaking, and he just lets his guitar fall to the ground when he’d normally cradle it, so Wayne is bound to notice something’s up, but Eddie can’t keep it together, and he doesn’t get it; he’s fine, so why—

“Eddie,” Wayne says. The chair is shoved back as he stands hurriedly, and he keeps Eddie upright with both hands around his forearms. “Sit down.”

Eddie sits on the bed heavily. There’s a distant roaring in his ears; he’s breathing too quickly.

“It worked,” he says, but he can barely hear his own voice. “I-it—”

“All right,” Wayne cuts him off not unkindly. “That’s enough. Just breathe, Ed.”

Eventually each breath doesn’t seem to burn, and Eddie can hear other quieter sounds filtering through—Wayne carefully moving the guitar, the slow creak of the bed as he sits down next to him.

When Eddie raises his head, he sees that Wayne is looking down at his hands; it’s only then that he notices the red marks on his fingertips, inflamed from pressing against the guitar strings.

“You gonna tell me?” Wayne asks.

Eddie closes his eyes. “I...” He grapples for words. “You… you can’t un-know it.”

Wayne sighs. For a moment, Eddie thinks he’ll drop it, and they’ll move on, and that’ll be it: this big, unsayable thing between them forever.

Then Wayne rests a gentle hand on Eddie’s head, rocks once. “Try me.”

Wayne doesn’t interrupt; he listens to everything in silence. There’s no disbelief in his face—the only change in his expression is that his brow becomes more and more furrowed. Eddie can’t guess what he’s thinking, but perhaps, after everything that’s happened, this horrific explanation is easy to accept. Or maybe it’s because they have promised, years ago, that they would never lie to each other.

Weary, Eddie finds that he tells the story disjointedly, keeps having to double back on himself and clumsily repeat things—and even when he says things twice, he knows it’s still vague: how Steve’s fate went from a friend died to we’ve got a plan to bring him back.

And because exhaustion is weighing him down, he realises with a sinking feeling that he’s told everything in the wrong order. He hasn’t mentioned Chrissy.

At first, he doesn’t think he can. But then Wayne must sense a change, something wrong in his breathing again, because he puts his hand on Eddie’s knee, and his meaning is clear. You can tell me anything.

Stopping and starting over and over, Eddie finally tells his uncle how Chrissy Cunningham died. How it was an awful death, a painful one.

A lonely one.

“I left her there,” he says, and it feels like that’s never going to leave him, the shame and guilt crushing his chest. “Wayne, I—I left her all alone, and then y-you had to see her like—”

“Stop,” Wayne says. His eyes are wide with dismay, as if realising that this isn’t something he can solve by just taking Eddie away from it all; like when he pulled him away from the doorway when Eddie was a child, urging him not to look.

“I sh-should’ve fucking done something, Wayne. God, I should’ve h-helped her—”

“Eddie,” Wayne says, far more gently than Eddie deserves, “son, she was already dead.”

The words land, rock Eddie’s foundations.

“C’mere.” Wayne puts his arms around him, pulls him close. “It wasn’t your fault. You gotta know that, you hear me?”

“I…” Eddie grits his teeth. “Wayne, I—”

“After I called the police,” Wayne says gently, “I talked to her. Just… just in case she… you know?”

Eddie inhales raggedly. “Oh.”

“She did cheerleading, right?”

Eddie nods.

“Yeah, I can picture her. She was always real polite… Remember that show you had in middle school? And you made me carry half the damn band’s equipment when I came to pick you up?”

Eddie chokes through a surprised laugh. “Yeah.” “She came runnin’ across the parking lot while I was waiting on you. She’d found your guitar pick left on the stage and she didn’t know where you were. Said, ‘Mr. Munson, I wanted to make sure he got it back, he said it was his good luck charm.’”

Eddie doesn’t recall this, but he knows the exact guitar pick Wayne is referring to: the one he now wears around his neck to stop him from ever losing it. And instead of thinking about how she looked on that terrible night, an image forms in his head of what Wayne must have seen, of Chrissy running over, ponytail bouncing. Her happiness.

Death cannot take everything.

He sniffs. “I-I didn’t know that.”

Wayne sighs. “Oh, kid. Don’t let it break your heart.” He presses a kiss to Eddie’s temple, repeats softly, “It wasn’t your fault.”

And Eddie weeps.

He sleeps right through until noon. There’s a note left for him on the bedside cabinet when he wakes: Wayne saying that he’s helping with the Red Cross at the high school. He’s added a post-script, as if he received more information just as he was about to head out the door.

Hospital called. Steve Harrington awake & asking after you, said if you were sleeping to leave you be. Said he’s sitting up more & can talk without mask.

Eddie flips the paper over. He writes on autopilot for most of it, says that he’s packing another overnight bag for the hospital—he’s using the last of his salvaged shirts at this rate—and notes down Steve’s floor and room number. He goes to write a thank you to end the message, but that seems too small for last night; he doesn’t know how to put it all into words. Instead he puts Wayne’s crossword underneath the piece of paper, solves the ones Wayne had missed.

It’s only when he’s walking through the hospital entrance that he realises that he’s instinctively brought his guitar along, too.

“Eddie?”

He turns. It’s Robin, apprehensiveness rolling off her in waves as she searches Eddie’s face. “They—they called and said…?” She trails off, like she’s hardly daring to believe it, like if she says it out loud, everything will be taken back.

“Yeah,” Eddie says quickly. He holds her gaze and nods firmly. “He woke up.”

She gasps, surges forward and practically jumps on top of him. He has to move just so she doesn’t end up with the body of the guitar knocking against her stomach, shifts his stance so he’s half holding her up by the waist.

“Holy freaking shit, Eddie, oh my God, oh my God,” she’s babbling. Her hair is tickling Eddie’s cheek, and then she’s planting a sudden, sweet kiss there, a little wet from her crying.

Eddie hugs her back, and he can’t help himself, jokingly complaining, “Gross, are you wearing lipstick, Buckley?”

Robin pulls back and laughs. “‘Fraid so,” she says in the tone of someone delivering grave news. “The glittery kind, too.”

As they let go of each other, a passing-by nurse catches Eddie’s eye, appears to give a knowing smile.

“Oh, Jesus Christ,” Eddie says once she’s gone, and he starts giggling. “Hate to break it to you, but she definitely thinks we’re together.”

Robin shakes her head with a wide grin. Then, barely missing a beat, she drops into an uncanny impression of Humphrey Bogart: “We’ll always have Paris.”

Eddie keeps laughing, as they climb the stairs two at a time to Steve’s room. “We’re so weird.”

Robin clutches his hand. “Yeah,” she says, her smile a tiny, secret thing, just for them. “I’m glad we’re weird.”

And it sounds like she’s saying much more.

Steve is awake when they rush in, sitting up with his pillows supporting his upper back rather than his head. There’s a reassuring colour to his cheeks.

When he sees Robin, his whole face lights up with the biggest smile. His lips are cracked slightly, marks of painful looking indentations around his mouth from the mask that have Eddie inwardly wincing.

“Oh, God, who let you in?” Steve asks Robin with a cheeky drawl; and his voice is strong, barely a rasp within it.

“Shut up, you moron,” Robin sobs.

She hugs him, mindful of the bandages around his stomach, just peeking out from underneath the sheets.

Steve holds her tight. Over the top of her head, he catches Eddie’s eye. “Is that glitter on your cheek?” He raises an eyebrow and smirks, and for some reason it suddenly feels like all three of them are sharing some private joke, especially when Steve adds, almost sing-song, “Should I be jealous?” and Robin promptly flicks his forehead.

It’s all so normal, and for a while, Eddie feels a physical lightness, as if there’s a bubble in the room filled with utter, complete happiness.

But when Robin pulls back, Eddie notices that there’s a subtle fixed look to Steve’s smile, there one minute and gone the next—like if the hug had gone on for a moment longer, his composure might have crumbled.

“You’re looking good, Harrington,” Eddie says quietly, and though it’s said sincerely, he offers it more as an out for Steve, even though he doesn’t quite get what Steve is trying to escape.

Steve’s face flickers with something like relief before he grins again. “Thanks, man. They’ve got me on the good stuff.”

Eddie nods absently. It’s not like that’s a lie; whatever miracle-working drugs Steve’s been given have clearly strengthened his lungs, allowed him to go from practically voiceless to talkative literally overnight. But there’s more to it than that, in the way Steve is sitting up as straight as he can, like he’s proving a point. It makes Eddie suspect that, as soon as he’d left, Steve had tried to speedrun recovery while no-one was looking.

“Had to sweet talk a nurse to get them to call you,” Steve says. “They said phone lines are crazy right now, keep going dead or engaged or…”

“I can try and get through.” Eddie stands. When he’d gone past reception, he’d seen that the lines for the limited phones available were already snaking round the corridors; it’ll be one hell of a waiting game. “Do you wanna call someone else?”

Steve nods slightly; his eyes flit to the side, and his expression turns sombre. He’s looking at Dustin’s walkie. “I’d better give this back to him, huh?”

“I’ll go,” Eddie insists.

Robin smiles at him with clear gratitude, moves her chair closer to Steve’s bed.

It takes just under two hours for Eddie to get through to Dustin; thankfully he’s the one who picks up. Eddie had half expected some kind of celebration on the other end, like how Dustin had been when Steve’s song was discovered, but instead the conversation is much more subdued and short-lived, as if Dustin wants to finish it as quickly as possible so he can head to the hospital.

“Henderson’s coming,” Eddie says as he walks back into Steve’s room. “Said he’ll be there as soon as…”

His voice fades away at the sight of Steve’s eyes being closed.

But just as he falls silent, Steve starts to speak, voice clear and alert.

“Not sleeping,” Steve says. “Just resting my eyes.”

And that really does seem to be true, because Steve’s face never once slackens into sleep.

Eddie looks at Robin, trying to voice a silent question in his eyes, but she just shrugs helplessly.

Eddie finds Dustin at the end of the corridor on Steve’s floor.

“There you are!” Eddie says. “Wait, dude, where’s your crutches?”

“I forgot them,” Dustin says, a bit shortly. “It’s not really a fracture, I’ll be fine.” He seems unaware that that’s not exactly reassuring.

“O…kay,” Eddie says. “C’mon, he can’t wait to see you.”

But Dustin doesn’t move. Eddie suddenly worries that he’s been standing right there for a while.

“Hey,” Eddie says. He sticks out a hand. “He’s really okay, Dustin.”

Silently, Dustin takes Eddie’s hand.

As they get closer to Steve’s room, they cross paths with Robin.

“Vending machine is calling my name,” she says breezily. She pretends to dive for Dustin like a football tackle, then ruffles his hair before he can dodge her. “Hi, genius child.”

“Get off,” Dustin says with an eye roll, a cocky grin, but his nerves are still obvious. When Robin leaves, when they face the doorway, he drops Eddie’s hand and walks through alone; and Eddie thinks that this, beyond anything, is one of the bravest things he’s seen.

He tentatively enters the room when he can’t hear any conversation going on. When he does, he’s just in time to see Steve startle at Dustin’s appearance, blinking like he’s been wrenched from a deep train of thought.

“Hey!” he calls. He shifts in bed, straightens up even more.

But Dustin doesn’t move. Eddie holds his breath, tiptoes over to stand beside him, not touching.

Steve is frowning, eyes on Dustin. “Oh, bud, what happened to your leg?” he says with dismay; and it says so much, that he can tell with one glance, without any crutches in sight.

Dustin’s hands are shaking, clenched into fists. Eddie can hear his uneven breathing.

“Dustin,” Steve says. One of his hands is braced against the mattress, like he’d be on his feet and running over if only he could. “Dustin, I’m so sorry.”

Dustin shakes his head. “No,” he whispers. “No, fuck you, you don’t get to—to say that.”

Steve’s face falls. “I… I get it, dude,” he says. “It’s—”

“No!” Dustin says, and he stalks forward despite his limp, and one of his fists comes up to beat against Steve’s chest, and Steve just lets it happen. “No, you—it’s not okay, it’s—”

“Hey,” Steve murmurs. He catches Dustin’s hand in his own, a gentle and protective hold. “Dustin, hey, it’s—”

“Shut up!” Dustin wails. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m—”

And as he’s speaking, he falls against Steve, and Steve’s arms wrap around him.

“I…” Dustin hiccups, gasps—cries without restraint, like a child. Because he is one. “I don’t hate you.”

“Shh,” Steve says. “I know, I know.” He presses a kiss to the top of Dustin’s head, then hugs him tight; and Eddie watches as Steve’s face briefly crumples, before he visibly pulls himself together. “Everything’s okay. Hey, shh, shh. We’re okay, we’re okay.”

Eddie steps out and silently closes the door behind him.

Robin pats a spot on the floor next to her, hands him a couple of candy bars.

“Has he… talked to you?” Eddie asks.

Robin sighs. “Nope.” She nudges him until Eddie takes a bite out of the candy, then adds, “You?”

Eddie shakes his head. He thinks back to the blur of last night. “He… just kinda got me talking without really...”

Robin nods sadly. “Yeah. He’s good at that.”

It’s late evening, and Robin and Dustin have long since left, when Steve’s determined resolve begins to fail him. His eyes drift shut in increasingly lengthy blinks, lulled by the dim light.

Eddie quietly draws the curtains. Then he exhales a little laugh when he turns back round to find Steve trying to keep his head up.

“For Christ’s sake, Harrington.”

“M’not sleeping,” Steve says, though he sounds halfway to dreaming as he speaks.

“Take the hint, man.” Eddie reaches over, gently guides Steve until he’s lying down properly. “You need rest.”

As he moves the pillows, he feels a warm puff of air against his hands, Steve’s breathing already slow and deep. “Don’ need to… stay if you don’…” Steve sighs, turns to the side, one cheek pressing into the pillow. “M’kinda boring.”

“Shut up,” Eddie says gently. And he stops himself from saying something stupid like You, boring? Think that’s impossible, because Steve has already fallen asleep.

Eddie doesn’t know what rouses him initially, just knows that he’s lifting his head up from the little couch he’s settled on.

He hears an indecipherable murmur in the darkness. Blinking blearily, he whispers, “Steve?”

“Dustin…? Dustin…”

Eddie sits up. “He went home, remember?” he says, tries to ensure his voice isn’t harsh, but is still loud enough to break through whatever Steve is dreaming about.

“Dustin…” A quiet, low moan.

Eddie rises, stumbles over. “Steve? Steve, wake up.”

Steve moans again. “Oh, God, no, no—”

Eddie clumsily switches on a lamp, revealing Steve’s face turning side to side, muscles in his neck strained, eyebrows drawn in distress.

“Steve, it’s just a dream, you’ve gotta—”

“He’s dead,” Steve says brokenly. “They’re dead, they’re all—oh, God—”

“Wake up,” Eddie says. He grabs Steve’s shoulders and shakes, uncaring if it’s abrupt; he just needs it all to stop now. “No-one’s dead, Steve, come on, you’re—”

Steve wakes with a start, breathing heavily. Eddie instinctively lifts his hands off his shoulders, but Steve looks even more panicked at that, so he immediately returns them, keeps his touch light but there.

“Hey, you with me? Just a dream,” Eddie repeats.

“Oh,” Steve says, like he’s been winded. “Oh.”

“Here, you want a drink? There’s some water on…” Eddie reaches for a glass, but Steve just says, “No,” and covers his face with his hands.

“I’m sorry, I’m—”

“Steve, you don’t have to—”

“Just go back to sleep, I’ll be—”

“Yeah, that’s not happening. You sure you don’t want a—?”

Steve’s hands fall away, and he bows his head. “Eddie,” he says. His voice breaks. “I can’t.”

Eddie perches on the bed. “Hey, all right, that’s—”

And everything he was going to say dies in his throat as Steve’s head comes to rest on his shoulder. A growing wet patch forms.

And he stays very still as Steve shakes with silent sobs.

Almost silent.

“S-sorry. I’m sorry, I-I’m sorry…”

Steve takes shallow, desperate breaths. Eddie can feel his lips trembling against his skin.

And then Steve holds onto Eddie’s forearm with a harsh grip, knuckles turning white.

Eddie suddenly remembers that awful moment, right before the end of everything. I can’t feel you.

“Hey. Hey, hey, I’ve got you,” Eddie murmurs. Gently, gently, he puts a hand on Steve’s nape, cradles the back of his head. Feel that? God, please let him feel it… “I’m here. I’m right here.”

#the self sacrificial steve agenda #steddie #steddie fic #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #wayne munson #robin buckley #dustin henderson

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plutoccult · 8 months

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HAIKYUU X THE OFFICE AU — EPISODE SIX: SUGA’S GOT A SECRET

pairing: sugawara koushi x female reader

description: now that ukai knows of sugawara’s feelings for you, it’s only a matter of time before the big secret spreads throughout the office, leaving sugawara with plenty of damage control to do.

word count: 6.3k

also available to read on my ao3 here

author’s note: tumblr keeps playing games when it comes to this au showing up in tags, which may be because of “foul” language apparently, so i’m gonna “censor” this episode and see what happens. it will be uncensored on ao3 though. if you missed episode five, IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU READ IT. it’s INSANELY annoying how tumblr keeps messing with me, and that’s honestly why i (along with literally every writer on here) press about reblogs. likes don’t do anything, reblogs do. not to sound like a pain in the ass, but how can you expect your favorite authors to feel inclined to write if you’re not helping them get exposure? anyway… i feel really good about this episode creativity wise (as i reworked the original episode a TON), and think it might be one of the better episodes i’ve written along with next week’s valentine’s episode. i hope you enjoy!

tags: @toorubobatea @intorder @dragon-slayer5 @femme-lune @jeanboyjean @cowgirlikets @okkoiktoru @darthferbert @kazuchaos @bakagun1312 @beingbrokenfitsus @mumblepingu @daedaep69 @intheewrld @msbyomimi @sukxma @akari-fujikawa @milkteeboba @5sos-wdw @todorokiskitten

taglist form here

for the second time today, you returned to your desk with your teapot full of hot water. it was scorching against your hands, but you had to be careful with your steps in order to avoid any spills. you’ve been doing this practically everyday since the office christmas party, so none of your coworkers were phased by it anymore.

“hot, hot, hot.” you whisper to yourself.

you place the teapot down and let out a sigh of relief before sitting down in your chair. the crew watched as you pour the hot water into a mug and pulled out a dish full of sugar of creamer packets, ones you recently acquired so you could be more efficient with your tea. it wasn’t necessarily the excitement the documentary was hoping for, but they kept the cameras on you in anticipation for something with suga to hopefully come up. unfortunately, nothing spicy had occurred.

you stirred everything together before taking a sip, letting out an “ah, that’s the stuff.”

•••

“i’ve been loving the teapot suga got me for christmas.” you say with a grin. “it gives me an excuse to drink more tea rather than coffee at the office, and not the kind you spill, if you catch my drift.”

you give a wink to the camera, but there might as well be crickets as none of the documentary crew laughed at your joke.

“none of you found that funny?” you pout.

•••

out of nowhere, daichi huffed and puffed as he emerged from the break room. “ugh, who in god’s name spilled coffee in the break room and didn’t clean it up?”

not again, you think to yourself. there was always someone leaving a mess somewhere in the office. it was like working with a bunch of children most of the time. you could almost always point your finger on who was to blame, but it’s not like anyone would admit their wrongs, like tanaka, who was responsible for most messes in the office.

“wasn’t me.” he immediately objected. you almost wonder if he spoke up first on purpose so the suspicion would go to someone else.

“you know i don’t drink coffee.” tsukishima said, which was true. you would find him always drinking some sort of strawberry soda, which you tried once and swore it was the most disgusting drink you ever tasted.

“yeah, and y/n has just been drinking tea lately.” suga spoke up. he immediately regretted saying anything as tsukishima, yamaguchi, kiyoko, yachi, and tanaka all collectively eyed each other. his cover was slipping terribly, but suga couldn’t help but feel the need to defend your honor.

“well, whoever did it needs to clean it up because i’m not doing it.” daichi crossed his arms.

“you know no one is gonna fess up, daichi.” tsukishima rolled his eyes. “this happens every time.”

“and i’m not gonna be stuck with the mess again!” he whined. “it’s like how you all expect asahi to reach everything on the top shelf when we invested in stepladders for a reason. those things weren’t cheap.”

the camera panned over to asahi as everyone quickly turned their heads to look at him. “why… why are you guys looking at me like that?”

“well, some of our coworkers happen to be leprechauns, you know.” kageyama said, evoking gasps out of hinata and nishinoya.

“oh, that’s not—” you began to say before covering your mouth with your hand. it was best if you kept out of this one.

“kageyama, that’s offensive to short people!” hinata exclaimed with a pout. “after everything we’ve been through…”

“my point still stands.” kageyama shrugged.

before hinata and kageyama could break out into a fight for the umpteenth time—one where tanaka would definitely yell out “world star!” and pull out his phone to record—ukai came out of his office in order to investigate what his employees were arguing about rather than actually working.

“something the matter? what’s with all the chatter?” he asked, immediately recognizing his clever rhyme. “oh, i rhymed! that’s bars right there.”

“someone spilled coffee on the floor in the break room and left it there.” daichi explained to him. “as if this office needs any more mess, it’s a disaster around here. we need to do something about the cleanliness of our work environment.”

“hmm… let me think.” ukai stood there pondering for a minute, resembling the thinker. some of you wondered if he was posing that way just for the sake of striking a pose. it definitely wouldn’t be a surprise if he was.

“uh, hello? earth to ukai?” daichi waved his hand in front of ukai, thinking he was frozen.

“i’m thinking.” he muttered, trying to stay as still as possible, down to barely moving his mouth. yeah, he was posing just to pose. typical.

everyone continued to wait for ukai to suggest literally anything, but he stayed in his position for far too long. thankfully, yamaguchi decided to speak up, but he would quickly be shut down by ukai.

“why don’t we all just clean the whole office together—”

“let’s all just clean the whole office together!” ukai interrupted yamaguchi, taking all the credit. “yes!”

“i just said that…” yamaguchi frowned.

“it’s spring cleaning, baby!” ukai clasped his hands together.

“but it’s not even spring?” tanaka questioned. he should know better than to question his boss at this point.

“so? who cares?” ukai shrugged. “don’t make me assign you to cleaning the men’s room.”

“no, please! anything but that!” tanaka begged. ukai instantly found joy in this, giving the camera a sinister, yet also off-putting stare.

•••

“i’m such a genius. if you do your spring cleaning in the winter, then you won’t have to do anything in the spring!” ukai said, praising himself as if it were his idea. “only i could think of such big brained ideas.”

“yamaguchi suggested it before you spoke over him.” a crew member spoke up, having documented it on camera.

“who?” ukai furrowed his eyebrows. it was almost hilarious how he couldn’t remember who he was.

•••

while some were assigned to clean certain parts of the office, others were cleaning out their desks, which everyone was mandated to do today. it seemed like “spring” cleaning wasn’t such a bad idea after all as many found random miscellaneous items, having no idea when they were from. tanaka even discovered why his desk had such an odd odor, which was because of an expired donut. everyone gagged at the sight and smell of it as he chucked it in a trash can and ran off.

as you were cleaning out your drawers, yachi walked up to your desk with a bottle of carpet cleaner and a scrubbing brush.

“hey, y/n. here’s that carpet cleaner you asked for.” she said as she placed it down on your desk.

you look up from what you’re doing and see yachi right in front of you. you had been waiting for your chance to use it as there were limited resources to share. thankfully yachi agreed to give it to you after she was done with it.

“oh my god, thank you.” you let out a sigh of relief. “daichi would flip if he saw the coffee stains under my desk.”

“trust me, i know… we’re desk buddies.” yachi groaned. she wasn’t particularly fond of the seating arrangement around here. at least you had your own little space, one where suga could steal pining glances as much as he desired, which reminded her. “how’s wedding planning going, by the way? did you start yet?”

the initial excitement of finally setting a wedding date sent you into overdrive, your mind racing of all the things that needed to be done to prepare for a wedding. as much as you dreamed of this, you didn’t think you’d be stuck doing all of the planning alone. ryo hadn’t made a single contribution yet, and despite your families expecting you to walk down the aisle, some doubts couldn’t help but brew up in your head.

“oh, uh, i bought my veil recently.” you reply. you hadn’t even picked a dress yet, despite having a long way to go, but picking a veil just seemed easier for right now.

“aw, that’s so exciting!” yachi couldn’t help but feel bad that suga was overhearing this conversation, given his eyes were fixated on you as he waited for you to speak, which wasn’t that hard to notice. “how are you gonna do your hair then?”

“well, i was thinking about wearing it down. kind of like—” you take out your hair clip and let your hair down, fluffing it up a bit to show yachi. “—maybe something like this?”

suga felt his heart still for a moment as he intently watched you fiddle with your hair. he wished he’d seen you like this before as you always wore your hair up at work. why were you hiding such beauty? it pained him to think about ryo always being the one to see your hair untamed like this at home. even if you failed to realize it, you were drop dead gorgeous in suga’s eyes.

“wow, you look so beautiful. you’re gonna make people cry.” yachi said, already able to think of one person without hesitation.

as yachi spoke a little too loud, ukai—being the nosy boss he is—overheard your conversation and decided to butt in. with poor timing, at that. “woah, y/n. why don't you wear your hair like that all the time? it's so much hotter than what you usually do.”

you cringe and roll your eyes as you reach for your hair clip. suga let out a sigh, wanting the savor the sight for a little longer. maybe another time, he hoped.

“man, this must be torture for you.” ukai said as he walked past suga. suga’s eyes widen as he looked around to see if anyone overheard that, and thankfully no one did. everyone was too occupied with cleaning to bother, it seemed.

•••

“yeah, on the booze cruise i told ukai about some feelings i used to have for y/n.” suga explained, albeit poorly. “i was just… feeling nostalgic, i guess, and i decided to confide in the world's worst confidant.”

used to have? even the documentary crew could see right through such a pathetic lie.

•••

later that day, suga knocked on ukai’s office door. as expected, he wasn’t cleaning his office one bit. do as ukai says, not as ukai does, apparently. it wasn’t a shock, to be honest.

“hey, ukai.” suga said as he entered ukai’s office. ukai quickly turned down the volume on his computer—seemingly not doing any productive office work either—and looked up to see what suga wanted. “remember that thing i told you on the booze cruise about y/n?”

“boy, do i?” ukai asked. he had been reeling ever since the bombshell was revealed to him. it was more exciting than the lame reality tv he usually watched at home. “of course i do.”

“well, that was, uh, pretty personal, so if you can just…” suga paused. how could he make this sound the least offensive to his boss? “if you can make sure you don’t tell anyone else about it, that would be great.”

“what? oh yeah, my lips are sealed. like the bangles song.” ukai said.

suga furrowed his eyebrows. he didn’t feel confident in that answer. “that was the go-go’s.”

“just get back to cleaning.” ukai scoffed.

“you got it.” suga nodded. it seemed he just had to take ukai’s word for it, but some worry still lingered.

•••

“suga and i are great friends. we hang out a ton, mostly at work, but the fact that he poured his heart out to me about y/n during booze cruise says everything about our friendship.” ukai said. “and because of that, i intend on keeping that information a secret for as long as i possibly can.”

“are you implying that it will spill out eventually?”

“course not. i’m the best at keeping secrets.” ukai then started to sweat profusely. he cannot keep this secret for long. “is it hot in here all of the sudden?”

•••

while suga was cleaning his desk, ukai emerged from his office with what seemed like the sole purpose of bothering him. his careful tiptoeing towards suga was evident, even if he tried to be sneaky. “suga…”

“yeah, ukai?” he looked up, ruining ukai’s opportunity to potentially scare him.

“whatcha doin’?” ukai asked. “you like football?”

“uh, ya know, cleaning. like you asked me to.” suga deadpanned. “plus, i’m more of a volleyball guy.”

“oh, yeah, makes sense.” ukai said before getting to the real point of this conversation. “so, any news on you know who?”

suga initially wondered why ukai would be bothering him like this, especially in the middle of the day, but now it was painfully obvious. of course it would be about you, but here, right on the open floor? it’s like ukai was asking to publicly embarrass suga. the poor lad had been through enough embarrassment these past few months. the documentary has seemingly only made it worse.

“time and place, ukai.” suga shook his head in annoyance.

“i just want to know more about your love life, suga.” ukai pouted. of course, he had some valid concerns. suga was just crying to him about his dilemma not that long ago, after all, but still, why here and now?

“like i said; time and place.” suga insisted.

“but—”

before ukai could plead his case, tanaka interrupted this conversation, seemingly out of jealousy over ukai newfound closeness to suga. “woah, what’s going on here? you guys besties all of the sudden?”

“um, yeah, we’re besties, tanaka.” ukai replied. suga wanted and scream and say that he was wrong. they would never be besties, never. “we tell each other secrets and stuff.”

“secrets? what secrets?” tanaka raised an eyebrow with a smirk. he instantly thought of one secret only a select few knew of, and suga knew he’d be thinking of it. “i know secrets.”

suga had to get tanaka off his back somehow. the combo and him and ukai would be a total disaster when it came to his secret. “deep, dark secrets?”

“wha… what do you mean?” tanaka questioned. it was hilarious how he was falling for this.

“oh, you know…” suga paused for dramatic effect. “the kind of secrets that could send people to jail.”

“oh my god…” tanaka let out a gasp then ran off like a scaredy cat. maybe that award went to the wrong employee on awards night.

that actually impressed ukai quite a bit. he wouldn’t say it out loud as he always had to be the very best, but ukai was definitely impressed.

“welp, back to work.” suga shrugged. this desk definitely wouldn’t clean itself, and he wasn’t sure if he could trust anyone else to go through his things. maybe he could trust you. knowing you, you’d organize everything by what you thought was worth keeping and what wasn’t, then let him figure out if your guesses were right.

“hey, uh, wait.” ukai said, catching suga’s attention once more. “what are you doing for lunch? i could take you out. my treat.”

lunch? with ukai? suga wasn’t sure if he was all too fond out that idea. free food, sure, but having to deal with ukai alone at a restaurant seemed like a bad nightmare. you never know what could happen in such an event.

“ah, no, you don’t gotta do that.” suga said as he quickly tried to think of an excuse to get out of this. “i gotta… ya know… clean and stuff.”

“what about we set up a picnic in the break room?” ukai proposed. “order some pizza and talk about you know who.”

nope. nope, nope, nope. suga knew ukai was just itching to talk about you. the only feasible solution was to get as far away from the office as possible and go out for stupid lunch. the sacrifices suga had to make for the sake of keeping his secret, well, a secret.

“haha, um… you know what? yeah, let’s go out. that’s a good idea, man.” suga stood up from his chair. ukai jumped up and down, overjoyed, which brought more attention to them. suga figured going right now was the best bet, so he quickly grabbed his coat and briefcase in order to leave right away. “let’s go now, actually. what place you thinking of?”

“oh, i know just the place.”

•••

after an awkward drive, ukai and suga found parking in the city before walking over to a popular strip of restaurants. suga assumed being a boss had its perks as there was no way he could afford to eat like this all the time. thank god ukai was paying for this.

there seemed to be amazing places to eat around here, but suga found ukai leading him to the outside of what seemed like a… maid cafe?!

“ukai, what is this place?” suga asked, hoping and praying it wasn’t what he thought it was.

“it’s my favorite spot.” ukai said, noticing suga hesitate. “i go here all the time. come on.”

“if it’s what i think it is—”

“it’ll be fine!” he interrupted suga. “don’t be shy now.”

suga let out a sigh before he followed ukai inside. it was exactly what he thought it was. he was at a maid cafe.

“no… no, no, no.” suga shook his head. this couldn’t be happening to him right now.

suddenly, a pretty woman in a maid outfit walked up to them, greeting ukai first as he was a regular. “mr. ukai! come, come have a seat wherever you’d like.”

“sana!” ukai greeted her. it was even worse that he knew the employees by name.

“there’s no way…”

•••

“ukai took me to a maid cafe.” suga said through gritted teeth. he was being interviewed outside the cafe, other cameras filming what was going on inside as ukai was being pampered by the waitresses. suga was lucky to have a chance to rant. “he took me to a F*CKING maid cafe.”

“you know you’re—”

“god, i’m tired of you guys scolding us over language. you’re just gonna cut most of this sh*t out in post anyway.” he cut off the crew member. he wasn’t necessarily wrong, but the poor editors had a lot of work cut out for them with the way the employees of japan pulp and paper act. maybe they were better off documenting another branch…

•••

meanwhile at the office, tanaka walked up to your desk unannounced, digging his fingers into the bowl of jellybeans you always had out for everyone. you don’t even wanna know where his hands have been. now that you think about it, does he ever wash his hands? you wanted to gag.

“tanaka, can you not shove your hands in the bowl like that?” you ask with a disgusted look on your face.

“whatever. all the good flavored ones are gone.” tanaka rolled his eyes as he continued to dig into the bowl.

“it’s a communal bowl…” you sigh.

“am i not bestie material?” he asked you out of nowhere. “i thought me and ukai were besties.”

you weren’t sure why he was asking this all of the sudden, but if validating him meant he’d leave you alone, then you’ll do it. “yeah, you’re bestie material, tanaka…”

“would you ever consider me to be your best friend?” tanaka questioned.

now, tanaka was a terrible worker, but he wasn’t necessarily a bad friend. he would definitely do crazy things for the sake of his coworkers. you remember on your first day tanaka told you he kept ninja stars under his desk incase of intruders and he would defend you in an instant. sometimes he was a little dumb, but he had a good heart, shockingly enough.

“sure?” you shrug.

“excellent.” tanaka said before walking away all of the sudden.

while he wasn’t looking, you quickly grab the jellybean bowl and throw away its contents. you stare at the camera for a moment as they’ve captured what you’ve done before panning to ukai and suga returning from lunch. you instantly smile upon seeing suga’s face.

“hey.” you greet him.

“hey.” suga said as he hung his coat up.

ukai eyed the two of you before going into his office. you wondered what that was about, but you shook it off and went back to talking to suga. “so, how was lunch?”

“oh, you know, pretty productive.” suga then held up a printed picture from lunch, one with him, ukai, and a bunch of waitresses in maid outfits posing together. it was worth the money. “got a lot of work done.”

you blink for a moment as you soak in the picture in front of you. never would you have guessed that out of all places. still, it was hilarious.

“you’re the worst.” you say jokingly. “there’s no way.”

“ah, but there is.” suga replied. he blushed as you began to uncontrollably laugh. it was adorable. he found it to be one of his favorite sounds in the world.

you manage to control your laughter after a few deep breaths. no more joking around. “pretty sure you’ve got more cleaning to do.”

“yes, ma’am.” he jokingly saluted before going back to his desk.

suddenly, kiyoko stormed up to ukai’s office. you couldn’t remember the last time anyone ever saw her so angry like this. you even feared steam would come out of her ears, and since she was knocking on ukai’s door, you knew it wasn’t anything good.

“ukai, takeda and i need to talk to you.” she barged in.

ukai raised his hands defensively, acting as if he were getting arrested. “i didn’t do it, your honor!”

“what?”

“…what?”

kiyoko didn’t have time for nonsense. she was livid. “ugh, come on. you’ve got some explaining to do.”

before ukai could try to protest, kiyoko dragged him away from his desk and led him to takeda, the last person ukai wanted to talk to right now. it didn’t matter what the matter was, he hated talking to human resources.

“specs, what do you have the female specs dragging me here for?” ukai groaned as kiyoko forced him to have a seat.

“uh, a new charge appeared on the corporate credit card—” takeda began to say as calmly as possible.

“you spent a hundred bucks at a maid cafe! you didn’t even get approval for this!” kiyoko interrupted him, yelling over takeda. if there was any good cop, bad cop action happening, it was clear who fit which role.

“it was a business lunch!” ukai argued. “who said i needed approval?”

takeda let out a sigh. there was a reason ukai couldn’t be trusted with anyone’s money, even his own, for that matter. he felt like he had to treat him like a child, despite ukai being the one in charge.

“ukai, you just got your corporate credit card back.” takeda scolded him. “do you really want me to take it away again?”

“what am i, a five year old? this is ridiculous!” ukai exclaimed.

“corporate is gonna be so angry!” kiyoko argued with him.

“look, suga needed a relaxing lunch.” ukai explained. “he’s been depressed and it’s been affecting his productivity. how is that not work related?”

kiyoko froze. now she’s wondering if ukai knows what she knows. does he know what she knows? takeda didn’t seem to budge by ukai’s explanation.

“he seems fine to me.” takeda shrugged.

“you're not his friend, you don't know what i know.” ukai said. “he is in love with a girl he works with who's engaged, so just cut me some slack, okay?”

unbeknownst to them, nishinoya overheard the whole thing as he walked by. “are you talking about y/n?”

no way that just happened. ukai is at a loss for words, same with kiyoko. he messed up big time.

•••

“this is bad. so bad.” kiyoko said frantically to the camera. it was safe to say she was freaking out. “did suga tell ukai? or did he figure it out? god, suga! you’re such an idiot! i can’t stand this madness!”

•••

thanks to ukai’s big fat mouth, suga’s secret had spread throughout the entire office like the plague and he had yet to figure it out, but he would soon enough.

the first person nishinoya told was asahi, who didn’t really have much of an opinion on it as he was merely a temp. once word got to hinata, however, that was when the train really started rolling. suga had no chance to swear nishinoya to secrecy, so his secret was finally spilled to everyone. well, everyone except you… for now.

hinata rushed to kageyama’s desk. had he gone any faster, he would’ve crashed and knocked over all of kageyama’s things, even his computer. it certainly wouldn’t be fun having to pay for a new one.

“jesus, hinata!” kageyama jumped out of his chair. “what are you tryin’ to do to me?!”

“nothing, nothing!” hinata exclaimed. “guess what? suga has got it bad for y/n.”

woah. even kageyama couldn’t pass up hearing such juicy information. he was rather impressed in suga’s taste in women too. you were a rather attractive woman, after all. “what? really? not bad, suga. not bad…”

ukai walked by as hinata spilled all the beans to kageyama. as hinata noticed ukai’s presence, he just had to get his opinion on the matter. after all, it was ukai’s fault the secret was revealed to everyone.

“hey, ukai. do you think suga is gonna try to break up the wedding?” hinata asked.

ukai was put off by such an outlandish question. he felt so guilty about this, as shocking as it was. suga actually put his trust in him, and he blew it in less than a week. some boss he was.

“hinata, suga is my friend, so the only people that this crush really concerns is suga and y/n...” ukai said. “and also me.”

of course, ukai had to make some of this situation about him. no surprise about that.

as suga tried to get some cleaning done, he felt as if there were more cameras on him than usual. to test the theory, he got up to go to the bathroom. the crew dared to follow him, but suga stopped before entering. there was no way he could let them film him doing his business.

“did the production value go up or something?” he furrowed his eyebrows. “what’s going on?”

before the crew could respond, nishinoya appeared, asking suga the last question he thought he’d have to hear. “suga, why didn’t you tell me you had a crush on y/n?”

his heart dropped instantly. it’s happening.

•••

suga had to carry out this interview in the calmest way possible. he was livid, sure, but there also was a bit of relief. the burden of his secret was so hard to carry most days. but the only way he could make it out of this alive is if he played it off like he used to have a crush on you.

“well, the cat’s out of the bag. i used to have a crush on y/n and now i, uh…” suga hesitated. “don’t. how thrilling...”

the poorly fabricated lies continued.

•••

now that suga got that dreadful interview was over with, it was time for him to talk to you about the newfound elephant in the room. as he discovered everyone was talking about this crush behind your back, suga decided he was better off confronting you about it. besides, it was either you find out through suga himself or ukai.

suga found you alone, knowing this was the only time and place he could get through this conversation. he didn’t need anyone else hearing in on this.

“hey.” suga spoke up. you look up and see his face, your calming smile putting him at ease.

“hey.” you say. “did you find anything good in your desk?”

“oh yeah, i found a coupon for a free sandwich.” he said. there had to be a way to bring up his crush somehow. “it expired in august, but i did find my phone charger from two years ago.“

“wow, big day.” you reply. big day was quite the understatement.

“i don’t even have that phone anymore.” suga chuckled.

“even better.” you grin.

“yeah.” he blushed.

thinking that was the end of the conversation, you began to leave the room, but suga quickly stopped you. this was his only chance, he couldn’t let it slip away.

“hey, uh, listen…” suga said as you stop in your tracks. you look up to see what he has to say. shockingly, this was harder than he thought it would be. “um, i told ukai on the booze cruise—it’s so stupid—but uh, i told ukai that i had a crush on you when i first started here.”

you felt your heart skip a beat. he had a crush on you when he first started here? now your mind raced back to suga’s first day at japan pulp and paper. he seemed so nervous, so you were the one to welcome him with open arms as you had only been with the company for less than a year at that point. you knew what it was like to be the newbie, so you wanted suga to feel more at ease. you didn’t think anything more of your kindness back then.

“oh…” is all you manage to muster out. you can’t believe you were so blind to it all. now you felt silly for only just now developing a crush on him within the past couple months. it was wrong on so many levels now.

“well, i thought that, uh.” he stumbled with his words. “i figured you should hear it from me rather than, you know, ukai of all people…”

“right…” you nod. even you could agree with that. that would result in a much more awkward interaction with your boss.

“and seriously, it's totally not a big deal, okay?” suga insisted. “and when i found out you were engaged, i mean, you know…”

right, of course. that cursed ring on your finger. no wonder he didn’t see you that way anymore, right? at least that’s what you thought was the case.

“no, yeah, i get it. i mean, i kind of…” you pause. lie, just lie, you thought to yourself. “i thought that maybe you did when you first started.”

“oh, you did?” suga questioned. now he felt a little stupid.

“well, i mean, just cause we got along really quickly…” you shrug. it was the best excuse you could think of on the spot, really. you clicked with suga faster than you did with anyone else. maybe there was a reason to that, now that you think about it.

“oh, so you saw right through me, great.” he forced a laugh.

“yeah.” you giggle. you were thankful suga fell for your sham, him feeling the same. “so are you going to be like totally awkward around me now?”

“oh, yeah, yeah... hope that's okay.” suga replied with a hint of sarcasm.

“mhm.” you nod.

“and y/n?“

“yeah?”

“it was like three years ago, so i am totally over it.” suga said. even if he was far from over it, he had to lie for the sake of saving face. he didn’t want to give up since ukai told him not to, but suga couldn’t let you know the truth just yet. this was merely dipping his toes in the water.

“yeah, cool.” you say before finally leaving the room. suga figured he kept you for far too long, anyways.

“alright, cool…”

•••

“so… suga had a crush on me, huh? emphasis on had, i guess.” you shrug. “more reason to move on from my own silly crush, right?”

the crew share a collective look. you wonder what they’re all thinking. was there something you still didn’t know?

“right..?”

•••

suga was thankful his conversation with you went rather smoothly. all he had to anticipate now was ukai’s explanation for the mess that’s been made. who knows what ukai will manage to do, he was so predictable yet unpredictable at the same time.

ukai jumped when he heard suga knock, even worse when he saw his face. he knew exactly what this was about, so ukai had no choice but to motion for him to come in.

“hey.” suga said, closing the door behind him. no way could anyone else hear this right now. suga would lock the door and board it up if it had to.

“i know, i know, i know.” ukai sighed. “i messed up.”

it was actually a surprise to suga that he was owning up to his mistake. he figured he should go a little easy on ukai for the time being, depending on his future responses. “yeah, i was kinda wondering what happened with that…”

“i um… you know, expense reports.” ukai said, frantically trying to explain his way through this. “and then stupid specs! he’s such a goody two-shoes, disgusting. he got all on me about our lunch—”

“the one at the maid cafe.” suga interrupted him. the puzzle pieces were coming together.

“yes, the one at the maid cafe! said corporate was gonna be mad about it, and…” ukai began to tear up, not even trying to fight back his emotions. “i ended up spilling the beans! it was an accident, honest! god, i hope this doesn’t affect our friendship, suga!”

wow. and to think suga was just crying to him merely days ago. now the tables have turned. suga didn’t know whether this was sad or hilarious. would it be wrong to think it’s both? he sure thought of it to be both ways.

as much as suga wanted to totally flip out and scream his head off, he just… couldn’t. for one, he’d probably lose his job, but this situation was inevitable. secrets can’t stay secrets forever, no matter how much you want to hold them close. they always make their way out of your grasp somehow.

“hey, hey, hey. relax, man.” suga tried to calm ukai down. “it's… it’s not a big deal.”

ukai wiped away snot and tears, which was quite disgusting. “it’s not?”

“yeah, it’s fine.” suga let out a sigh. “it was bound to come out one way or another, i guess. everything’s gonna be alright, okay?”

“yeah… okay.” ukai nodded. he was thankful to not be on suga’s bad side, which he‘s never seen at its fullest potential. no one has, really. suga is far too patient for this disastrous company.

“good… good.” suga said. “see ya.”

man, ukai was such a violent crier.

as suga left ukai’s office, he eyed you for a moment, seeing you were walking over to where he just was. you would have no choice but to see ukai crying like a toddler, which no one should ever have to see in their entire life.

“good luck.” he quickly whispered to you as you walked past him, confusion written all over your face.

huh?

shrugging off suga’s random comment, you head into ukai’s office anyway, not even bothering to knock as the door was already open just a bit. nothing seemed out of the ordinary to you yet, as if ukai isn’t unordinary anyway.

“hey, here's your schedule for next week.” you set the paper down on ukai’s desk before noticing he’s wiping away tears. “woah, are you okay?”

“yeah, i'm fine.” ukai sniffled. “look, about you and suga—”

“oh no.” you shook your head. was that what he was crying over? woah, did suga make him cry? nice. “ukai, you don't have to—”

“no, i feel like it's my responsibility as your boss and also your friend.” he cut you off, but you didn’t see any need for this. you and suga cleared the air already, right? plus, ukai considering himself your friend was quite a stretch.

“no, really, it's okay.” you insist. “i know that suga had a crush on me when he first started or whatever. but that was a long time ago, so…”

“what? no. it wasn't that long ago. it was on the booze cruise.” ukai said.

what the heck could he possibly be talking about?

“suga had a crush on me on the booze cruise or he told you about it on the booze cruise?” you furrow your eyebrows.

ukai very quickly realized he messed up once again. he figured he was better off shutting up for once in his life. “ahh… yeah… i’m just gonna… shut my mouth. i’m clocking out.”

“oh… okay.” you say quietly as ukai stood up and walked out of his office so he could leave for the day. it was about five o’ clock, after all.

you follow ukai on his way out and see suga packing up, putting his coat on before grabbing his briefcase. he can detect your presence, even when leaning over for his briefcase as he could see your mary jane’s in his vision. black and shiny, just the way they always were. you never, ever left them scuffed.

“you need a minute?” he asked as you walked by.

“yeah, just need to get my coat on.” you reply.

suga waited for you to pack up before you walked out together, both heading towards the elevator. you and suga enter, just the two of you, stealing glances while the other wasn’t looking until your eyes inevitably meet. you can’t even deny how often he makes your heart race, it was almost a nuisance.

you didn’t know how long this song and dance would last, but you needed this feeling to go away before june. it simply can’t go on any longer.

74 notes · View notes

georgie-weasley · 1 year

Text

Clandestine pt 2 S.B. x Slytherin!Reader

Warnings: Sirius and Regulus have beef but I think that's all. As always let me know if I missed anything

Word Count: 3k

Pairing: Young Sirius Black x Slytherin!Reader

Summary: Ordered by your parents to stay away from Sirius, you two agree to meet in secret. You aren't as sneaky as you thought and get caught and your parents have a life changing surprise for you

Part 1 Masterlist Taglist

“Darling, your father and I need to speak with you.” The voice of your mother interrupted your reading. It was the summer after your fourth year and you were hoping to get some reading done before Sirius and his family came over. Your mother stood in the archway of the library, waiting.

“Of course Mother. What is it?” You asked, setting your book to the side. As you did this, your parents came into the room and sat on the couch across from you. She kept looking over at your father as if she was confirming this conversation needed to be had.

Your father opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by your mother. “First, how was school this year? Who are your friends?”

That was odd. You wrote letters to them frequently while in school and told them all about your friends. Maybe she was stalling. “Well, Sirius and I are still best friends. He’s tried to introduce me to his friends but I don’t see them that often. I’m fairly good friends with Evan Rosier and Regulus. Why?”

She sighed and with another look at your father, she knew there could be no stalling. “Is there anyone you fancy?”

“No.” Even if there was someone you would never tell them. It was private.

“Well, you’re getting older and soon you will think of someone in a way other than just friendly and when you do, there are some things you need to know.” She patted your leg as she continued. “It is very important that the person you date and one day marry are purebloods as well. And preferably they’ll be from Slytherin as well.”

That’s what they needed to tell you? Why did it matter to them who you dated or when the time came, who you married? Shouldn’t they just want you to be happy? “Why does it matter?”

“We come from a very long line of purebloods and we must uphold that value. We cannot allow our family tree to be tainted by anything less than perfect. As the heir of the family, it is your job to carry that tradition.” Your father said as he stood. He said what he needed to say; there was no reason to stay and debate this.

How stupid. Blood status was nothing important. Maybe it was for them and their parents but it never mattered to you. So many students were brilliant while being the first witch or wizard in the family. Lily Evans was incredible and she was a muggleborn. In fact, she was better than almost everyone else in the school. Sirius had mentioned his parents having a similar belief and part of you wondered if this was something your parents had picked up from them.

“If you are looking for the perfect boy,” your father said in the archway, “Regulus would be an excellent choice.”

This would only be the first of many similar conversations.

The summer was possibly the longest summer of your life. While Regulus and his parents still came around for tea or dinner, Sirius was never there. You didn’t expect him to come since he was kicked out and all but part of you hoped he would show. It’s not like he ever listened to his parents before they kicked him out so there was no reason to start now.

There had been no communications between the two of you either. At one point you think Sirius tried to contact you because that evening your father was throwing letters in the fire. The only thing that kept you going was school starting soon. While they could censor your letters at home and keep you locked away like a prisoner, there was nothing they could do while you were at school.

As soon as the train left the station and you could no longer see your parents, you hunted the train for Sirius. After a few moments, you finally caught sight of him in a room. Almost as if he was alerted to your presence before you made a sound, he looked out the door and locked eyes with you. You barreled into the compartment and threw yourself at him, much like you did the day you first kissed him.

Sirius wrapped his arms around you and held you close, hiding his face in your neck. As soon as his arms surrounded you, your body relaxed. You didn’t know just how tense you’d been the past few months without seeing him and holding him. Finally in his arms, you felt safe. Sirius pulled away just enough to look at your face, memorizing the color of your eyes and the shape of your lips and you did the same. He kissed you softly, his lips parting just a little as he smiled.

“I missed you.” He whispered against your lips. “I haven’t heard from you since school ended.”

He had no idea what happened after he left home. You sighed and climbed off of him, sitting in the seat across from him. The sheer joy you felt when you first saw him was quickly put out. “My parents aren’t very thrilled with your exit from your family.”

Sirius sighed and looked at his lap. “This is what I was worried about. Is that why you haven’t written to me?”

You nodded. “They were reading my letters before I sent them and checked them before I could read them. If they were from you or mentioned you, they were burned. Effective immediately, I’m supposed to cut off all ties from you.”

The compartment was silent except for the sound of your heart pounding in your ears. What if this was the end of everything? Sirius didn’t care about what your parents thought and he sure didn’t care about his. But he did care about you and your relationship with your parents. He wanted you to be loved and cared for like he wasn’t. He didn’t want to be the reason it fell apart. “So what are we going to do?” He was leaving this all up to you. Sirius didn’t want to force you to continue seeing him if it could ruin everything else. Part of you wished he would make the decision for you.

“They can’t do anything while I’m at school. If we just keep it a secret, then we’ll be fine.” You didn’t want to lose Sirius but you didn’t want to lose your parents either. They were flawed but they raised you.

Sirius smiled and seeing it lifted a weight off of your shoulders. He was ok with this. “Then we’ll do that. After all, we snuck around a bit last year. I think we can pull that off.” Sirius grabbed your hands and pulled you back onto his lap. “Since we’re alone right now, I think we should make the most of it.” He smirked and leaned in, planting his lips on yours.

You smiled against his lips, happy that he was alright with the situation but you pulled away. “We won’t be alone for long. I saw James on my way here. The only reason he isn’t here yet is because he probably got distracted by Lily or the snack trolley.” The pout on his lips was hard to ignore but unless you wanted to get caught only minutes into the school year, you would have to leave. “And I need to find your brother.”

“My brother?” Sirius asked, his nose wrinkling in disgust. “Why do you need to see that prat?”

“My parents are still trying to be friends with your parents and since I’m not supposed to see you, their only way in is for Regulus and I to be friends. He’s not that bad, you know.”

Sirius only rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. “I think we might have to agree to disagree. Just don’t get too attached to him.”

You laughed and planted a kiss on his lips before climbing off of him. “I promise. You’re the only one for me.” Before he could protest your leaving, you slipped out the door and headed off to find Regulus.

It was easier than expected. Only a few compartments away you saw him, sitting by himself. As you opened the door and came inside, he looked up from his book. “I see you’re already starting the reading for this year. Anything good?”

Regulus only shook his head and went back to his reading. You had never been very close to the younger Black brother but you two were friendly. You both were in Slytherin and you saw him more than you saw Sirius some days. Regulus was also a pretty good person to spend time with. He was quieter and more relaxed than his brother and he was excellent in school. He was usually kind enough to help you when you had a particularly hard time with a lesson. Assuming he didn’t want to talk, you sat and looked out the window.

---

The first few weeks were strange. Usually Sirius came and saw you at least once a day but with this new dynamic, both of you had to stay away from each other. People had noticed this as well. Friends were constantly asking you if something was wrong between the two of you and while you wanted to tell them it was the opposite, you had to play the part. If they told anyone who told someone who could tell your parents, everything could crash and burn.

Not only had you not seen Sirius in public, you hadn’t even seen him in private lately either. After you saw him on the train to school and told him what was happening, you didn’t have much time to see him at all. It was the last year in school and you both had a lot on your plates. Not to mention, your parents were very adamant that you spent time with Regulus.

Finally after three long weeks, the stars aligned and you and Sirius agreed to meet at the astronomy tower at midnight one Saturday. Sneaking out was pretty easy. There were many times you snuck out with Sirius to cause some mischief. You knew all the secret passages and hiding spots by heart at this point.

As silently as you could, you made your way to the top of the Astronomy tower. Sitting by the railing was Sirius. You tried to keep it together and walk slowly and not seem desperate to see him but as soon as he looked over his shoulder and smiled at you, you lost it. You took off running and luckily he jumped to his feet and caught you in his arms, lifting you up and spinning you around. If he had been sitting you might have tackled him to the ground. Sirius didn’t even set you down before his lips crashed into yours. Finally you felt at home.

“I am never going this long without you again.” Sirius whispered against you as he set you back on your feet. His hands gripped your hips and pulled your body flush against his. “Never again.”

You smiled and rested your head on his chest, breathing him in. Distantly you could hear owls hooting and trees rustling in the wind. The September night air was beginning to cool but it was still comfortable. Soon winter would come and snow would cover the ground. Perhaps if either of you were lucky you would be able to sneak into a common room and sit cuddled up by the fire. “I don’t want to leave you ever again. I’ve missed you so much.”

“I see you’re listening to your parents and staying very, very far away from my brother.” There in the doorway, you saw Regulus standing with his arms over his chest. For a moment no one moved. Sirius still had hands on your hips and your arms were still wrapped around his shoulders. There was no avoiding this. Regulus caught you two not only seeing each other but he saw you kissing Sirius. He was going to tell your parents.

“What are you doing here?” Even with the only light coming from the moon, you could see the fire in Sirius’ eyes; he was pissed.

“What I was asked to do which is more than either one of you can say.” Regulus rolled his eyes. “Why don’t you two separate yourselves from each other so we can talk about what’s going to happen next.” Sirius only held you tighter but if he refused to listen, things would only get so much worse. You moved away from Sirius and leaned against the wall, not trusting your legs to hold you up. For one second you felt at home and like everything might be right in the world and in another second it all came crashing down.

“Regulus, please,” you whispered, hiding your trembling hands behind your back. “What are you doing here?”

“Your parents asked me to keep an eye on you. They assumed you would try and talk to Sirius. Of course I don’t think either of them thought you would be shoving your tongue down his throat.” Sirius took a step forward, no doubt ready to fight but your hand on his arm made him stay. “They asked me to tell them if you were breaking the new rule. I wasn’t expecting to need to do that so soon.”

Regulus was your friend and maybe as a friend, he would be on your side. You didn’t have much hope, knowing he was more like his parents than Sirius ever was but you had to try. “Reg, please don’t tell them.”

“Don’t beg him Y/N. He’s not going to listen to you. He’s as slimy as they come. As soon as he leaves he’ll be off to tattle like the perfect son he is.” Sirius hissed.

“I wasn’t planning on telling them.” Regulus rolled his eyes and turned away from his brother to look at you. “Clearly you’re willing to risk getting kicked out of your own family for my brother.” Sirius’ mouth dropped open as he stared at his brother in shock.

“He’s lying! There’s no way this scumbag would ever do something like this! He doesn’t have a heart.”

“Y/N, can I please speak to you away from this oaf?” Regulus huffed out and walked down the stairs and walked into the small hallway outside the stairs. You gave Sirius what you hoped was a reassuring smile as you followed the younger brother out. Once the door closed behind you, Regulus pulled you a little down the hall to make sure Sirius was a safe distance away.

“So you aren’t going to tell my parents?” You asked as soon as he stopped walking.

“No. All I ask is that you try better to be more secretive.”

“You don’t want anything in return? I can do some of your homework or something.” Honestly you would do anything he asked you if he would keep this a secret.

Regulus only shook his head. There was a small sad smile on his face as he looked you over. “You’ve always been a good friend to both of us and despite that idiot getting himself kicked out, he is still my brother. I had no trouble following you here. Just please for all of us, do a better job being sneaky. That’s all I want.” There was a sadness in his eyes and it must have been because of Sirius. They were so close when they were kids and then Sirius was put in Gryffindor and the gap between them grew into a chasm. Carefully and slowly, you wrapped your arms around his middle and pulled him into a hug. He was stiff as a board; hugs were not common in his family and your heart shattered to think of him and his brother growing up without them.

“Thank you Reg.”

He nodded and left, leaving you in the hallway trying to wrap your head around this.

---

It took Sirius some convincing for him to believe his brother wasn’t going to expose either of you to your parents but when a week passed and there had been no word from either family, he had no choice but to believe him. True to your word, you and Sirius were sneakier. Remus knew as he also caught you two nights after Regulus did but there was no doubting his support. He let you borrow the Marauder’s Map frequently and with that sneaky map, you had successfully met with Sirius in secret for the past few months without being caught. Your friendship with Remus was an unexpected bonus that came with getting caught. Regulus was another bonus. He still spent a lot of time with you, no doubt trying to do as he was told, but he would conveniently look the other way when Sirius passed you in the hall and touched your arm. Things were starting to look up and you would think you would have learned not to get your hopes up but you didn’t.

Christmas break rolled around and while you wanted to spend it at Hogwarts with Sirius, there was no way you could so you went home. On your last day back, your parents invited the Black family over for dinner because there was an announcement they needed to make. At dinner, Regulus sat next to you in the place that used to be for Sirius. Your mother’s eyes kept darting around the room and she looked everywhere except for you. The one time you caught her gaze, she spun her head to talk to Walburga so quickly you thought she might break her neck.

As dinner ended and everyone ate their desserts, your father stood and cleared his throat. Immediately the room went silent as everyone stared at him. “Good evening. I want to thank you, Orion, Walburga, and Regulus for joining my family for dinner tonight. There is something I wish to announce. After much discussion between Orion and I, we have decided the best way to make sure our families both prosper and continue down the pureblooded and right path. After graduation, Y/N will join the most noble and honorable house of Black and marry Regulus.”

Taglist

@100gaysnails @george-weasleys-girl @weasleybuns @andy200700 @asuperconfusedgirl

#hp fanfcition #hp fanfic #hp marauders #sirius black fluff #sirius black x slytherin!reader #sirius black #sirius black x y/n #sirius black x reader #sirius black angst #the marauders #marauders era

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eiochevart · 11 months

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have you moved on from het@lia? (not trying to drag you back or remind you of it btw!) just wondering, because I too am not very active in that fandom anymore and don't wanna be associated with it

Yeah, I’ve moved on. Though there’s no need to censor the word, that’s just childish. I honestly don’t think the fandom is the malicious and horrible thing people on the internet make it out to be. But I absolutely understand why it’s become a distasteful thing; there are a lot of issues about the media itself and within the fandom, and there are many reasons to not want to be associated with it.

I honestly just don’t really care about hws anymore. I never actually liked the source material, it was more about fan interpretations to me. I found the idea of anthropomorphic countries fascinating, an opportunity to create many different characters based on different cultures. But even that didn’t work out perfectly, I must admit that. The source material isn’t just something that is easy to twist and misinterpret and be used to spread hate — but it’s also just… objectively not good quality, both comics and show.

So… I’ve moved on. I don’t really associate myself with the characters or the fandom anymore, but I’m not one of those people who blindly spew hate on the internet. Though I do acknowledge that it’s a big part of why I have followers today, as well as a big part of my journey as an artist.

#Hetalia #don’t like don’t read #honestly idc just don’t be an ass about it #this whole discourse is childish and stupid #asks #not an art post #hws

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lilmissnatcat24 · 10 months

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little teaser for saturday's chapter, behold garrus can't help himself

“Well, well, you clean up nicely,” she said, reaching out and playing with the tassels in front of Garrus’s carapace cape.

“You look absolutely beautiful.” He didn’t mean to sound so direct or so obviously lame, the words more or less tumbled out of his mouth before he could think to censor them slightly. A subtle blush creeped on Shepard’s cheek underneath all of that facepaint she put on.

“Oh, shush Vakarian,” Shepard said, suddenly shy and fumbling over her words. He’d never seen her blush like that. Garrus came to the sudden realization that he would say just about anything to make her blush like that again.

“No, really,” Garrus could say before he could stop himself, emboldened by the nerves that the night held for him. “You are so pretty. Really.”

Shepard looked as though she had absolutely no clue how to respond to a statement like that, so she just nodded once, a smile creeping onto her face that Garrus wished would never be wiped away.

Luckily for her, she didn’t need to respond. “Keep it safe for the public, you two. Wouldn’t want the night to end too early, yeah?” Elyria said from next to Shepard. Garrus didn’t even notice her. She wore a dress that was more skin than fabric, a vibrant lime green color that Garrus rather thought clashed too much with her skin. Not like Shepard’s, which looked as though it were designed specifically for her with no one else in mind, because no one could wear a gown as beautifully as she could--

“What is it about publicly declaring a relationship that gives people the impression that I’m just going to strip in the middle of the room and let him go to town on me?”

“You know, I wondered that, too,” said Garrus. “If anything, it means that the two of us will be respectful until we can blow off some steam back at my place. We are in public, after all. Would you rather we try to sneak around to some supply closet somewhere?”

“Oh? Do you have much experience with that, Vakarian?” Shepard said with a smile creeping in on her face. Garrus swallowed once, trying his best to remain as cool and casual as he could-- but it was nearly impossible next to her.

“A few jaunts here and there.”

“Can I trust you to keep on task tonight?”

Garrus leaned in slightly towards Shepard. She was just putting it on for Elyria, he was certain. Right? He was certain? Except certainty had flown out the airlock over two months ago. He loved to pretend that when Shepard flirted with him, it was because she really did see something in him. But there was no way that was the case. She was Shepard after all-- which was to say that she was more of an enigmatic force of nature and less of a living, breathing human woman that could ever be interested in a turian like him.

“I’m not sure. You keep wearing gowns like that, I may have to deviate from the plan just a tiny little bit.” His mouth was close to her neck, he mumbled it just loud enough for her to hear it and no one else. He was thankful he couldn’t see her expression, because if he did he might have to back up his words with some action.

“Ugh,” Elyria said with a wave of her hand. “You two are positively disgusting together.”

#mass effect fanfiction #mass effect #mass effect fanfic #shakarian #shepard x garrus #ao3 fanfic #femshep #garrus vakarian #turn left

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depressedhatakekakashi · 3 months

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Can I ask your opinion on two topics that some uwu fans were talking about? The truth is that I would have liked to ask them but I don't want conflict and they don't seem very friendly to me since although I love S I also love Kakashi, that's why I wanted the opinion of someone more open minded

The first thing was that these fans were saying that Kakashi never supported S*suke and he always treated him as if he was an evil, dangerous hatred bomb about to explode or something. For me this is not true since in Zabuza's fight we see that he calms him down by saying not to worry since he was not going to let anything bad happen to him, besides two reasons that make me say that this is false is that Kakashi would never have entrusted him with the chidori (dangerous jutsu that can kill you) if he felt that from S, and also if this were real, Kakashi would not have been surprised by the change of mind that S had regarding revenge, since it would have seemed to him a normal attitude in him

The second thing they were talking about is the scene where Kakashi ties him to a tree claiming that he won't listen willingly, and they were wondering what past experience could have led Kakashi to believe that tying S*suke to a tree was even necessary? And when did S*suke not listen to him or run in the middle of an argument?. Well.. for these questions I don't have a clear answer beyond the fact that Kakashi didn't have much time to think about it and also S*suke, a moment before, had left the hospital roof (I think jumping a fence) when Kakashi was disappointed about what happened, so I don't think S would have listened to Kakashi's words if Kakashi didn't tie him up.

I would like to know if I'm wrong or if they are the ones who, being mega fans of S*suke, can't see things clearly (I tried to censor S*asuke's name to avoid trouble for you). And sorry if I'm bothering you, you're not obliged to give me your opinion

Ok so i’m going to start by prefacing, i’m not a fan of Kakashi tying Sasuke to the tree. It was an extreme measure that he took that i don’t feel was necessary even though i understand why he did it

Now for the questions

As you said, Kakashi showed throughout the og series he cared about Sasuke. He supports Sasuke, calms him down when he’s clearly panicking but also lets him take down the enemies that he knows he can handle no issue because he can see Sasuke needs to release some pent ho energy

He also put himself between Orochimaru and Sasuke and threatened to take orochimaru down with him to save Sasuke, even though as we clearly see he has a pretty healthy fear of orochimaru. If Kakashi did not care about Sasuke he simply would not have done that

Kakashi also never thought of Sasuke as a ticking time bomb. I think they’re taking how Hiruzen viewed Orochimaru and applying it to Kakashi and it doesn’t work

Kakashi knew and expected Sasuke’s thirst for revenge and had zero problem with it until Sasuke turned his anger onto his teammate. It was only when Sasuke almost killed Sakura while trying to use Chidori (the move Kakashi taught him) that Kakashi put his foot down because Revenge was no eating away at Sasuke so much he was willing to cut the bonds he had managed to make. (And before someone gets on my case about Kakashi not talking to Naruto about using Rasangan, he did get on Jiraiya’s case and Jiraiya should have gotten on Naruto’s case since HE taught him rasangan. Jiraiya simply didn’t care and dismissed Sasuke as a lost cause as soon as he left the village)

Now lets go into shippuden

If Kakashi didn’t care about Sasuke why would he take Naruto out of the village during a Kage summit after stating point blank ‘no shinobi is allowed to leave the village during a kage summit’? Something he did specifically so Naruto could beg for Sasuke’s life to the Raikage. Kakashi broke rules and disrespected the authority Danzo now has as Hokage by taking Naruto out of the village AND asking Sai to lie to Danzo, and a large reason he did this was so Naruto could bouch for Sasuke and try to get his life spared (not that it was really in danger but still)

If Kakashi didn’t care about Sasuke, why would he tell Sasuke after saving Sakura that he didn’t want to fight? If Sasuke was really a ticking time bomb Kakashi expected to explode, why would he even try at all to reach out to him? That makes no sense

Kakashi did care about Sasuke

He wanted to help Sasuke, he simply wasn’t equipped to give Sasuke the help that he wanted (well, he could have trained sasuke still and sasuke would have gotten stringer, but orochimaru had a short cut to more power sasuke took)

As for the tree scene

Kakashi did that because he just saw Sasuke try and use Chidori against Naruto, which resulted in him and Naruto almost killing Sakura

He had every right to be cautious and to hold Sasuke down so they could actually talk. Espeshally given that when he showed up and stopped Sasuke and Naruto from hitting Sakura, Sasuke didn’t stick around

He left as soon as he could without even speaking to Kakashi, Naruto or Sakura

At this point it’s 100% valid to think Sasuke might not sit and listen to him, so Kakashi felt he needed to make him sit and listen

Was it the best way to do it? Absolutly not.

But he had a set amount of time to talk to Sasuke and make him listen. If he’d had more time he may have actually taken Sasuke out to a training field to spar and talk because Sasuke obv had some anger to get out that a spar might have aided with

Kakashi did not have time to do that, so he did what he could to make Sasuke sit and listen

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spook-study · 2 years

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I’m not sure how many people would qualify The Wonder as a horror movie, it sits itself quite prettily in the ‘period drama’ section of Netflix, but I’ll be damned if I don’t give it a fair shake as what I felt the movie truly was, and that’s a horror film. Normally I’d put an enticing gif here of something, but either the title is too vague or the movie hasn’t hit its stride yet, so unfortunately my words will have to suffice.

Right off the bat: the framing device is weird and I didn’t like it, so let’s choose to ignore it here because it proved itself entirely pointless and useless. It’s barely a couple of minutes at the beginning and end anyway. As if the movie wasn’t artsy enough with its popular gray washes and dirt and a sense of ‘naturalism.’ Head’s up: If you are looking for a colorful piece of cinema, look elsewhere.

The Wonder is an inverse exorcism movie. Not quite on the same level as the Shudder original Anything For Jackson, the term inverse is most applicable here, while Jackson is more reverse. The question of what that means is easily answered: Wonder isn’t about a demon, it’s about applying divinity to someone and wanting it to be there beyond reason. It’s characters wish to put Holiness into someone rather than remove, or in Jackon’s case insert, the unholy from within.

It is an intelligently made twist of the religious horror genre, and garners emotions of a different stroke. If we consider exorcism movies to be horror, then so too should The Wonder be considered horror. It plays on the same tropes, the same pace, the same escalation, yet does not view the phenomenon as of the devil, but rather of Christ.

This movie is horrifying. Perhaps it’s the fact that genre star Florence Pugh is in it, or that the whole cast is made up of experienced actors of genre across the board, but it’s unfathomable how anyone could see it as anything else. Set in the late 1800s just after The Great Hunger in Ireland, something generally accepted as the fault of the British, the plot follows Pugh as English nurse Elizabeth, or Lib, sent to watch and investigate whether or not Anna, a fasting girl who apparently hasn’t eaten for several months, is legitimate and ‘a wonder.’ To quote: “[They are] eager to see the wonder in every ordinary child.”

Her investigation is thorough, and without spoiling anything there were definitely one or two details that took me by surprise. Wonder places itself in the new age of horror, this age of what I prefer to call “emotional horror,” where fear is derived from character reaction, intense feelings exchanged, and the revelation of secrets. It is belief in this movie, faith, that are the chains that bind. To be frightened of someone’s faith, and of what that faith may mean, is certainly not a new idea, but one not usually applied to Catholicism or any derivatives of Christianity.

To the modern film, Christianity is the true ‘holy’ faith system. How often have we seen Louisiana Voodoo, or Judaism, or Islam put on the brutal chopping block of horror’s worser, racist tendencies towards faiths? Or villains? Black people, practitioners, Muslims, Jewish characature, Romani peoples, indigenous populations, all victims of the horror genre. But here we have an unspoken fear, universal all in its own right, but decidedly white and European. Unlike other pieces of Catholic horror, however, we don’t deal with devilish nuns or lesbian affairs or dancing in the wood at the witching hour. This movie is about belief, holy faith, and nothing devilish ever graces the text. It deals with the female self image through the illness of anorexia miribalis, which is exactly what it sounds like. While men are allowed to pay penance through self flagellation or other pains of the flesh, it was this way in which women were found to seek holy suffering.

It deals with literacy and understanding through Kitty’s plot, played by Niamh Algar from Censor, which I loved, and the abuse of youth and women. A nun is present to watch young Anna as well, but who is she to speak out against the parish priest? The question the movie begs is simple, yet answered easily enough. There’s a question of complicity. After all, “All over the empire, are not children left to die in ditches and gutters every night of the year?”

Fire is used as a purging thing, a holy flame, and the setting allows for us to naturally draw parallels to the burning of witches, and constantly makes reference to the eternal burning of Hellfire. You can hardly go a minute without the reminder that the ‘miracle’ girl Sarah is sure her brother is burning forever, and the mystery to why is definitely a hardy gut punch. Even if you read the film right, it’s still rough as Hell, pun intended.

The Wonder is smart that way, clever, slow. Very slow, at times. It builds, of that there is no doubt, but it wouldn’t have suffered 15-20 minutes shaved off. Much like we stare at Pugh’s ever-dirtying dress, the sound of Pugh’s feet plodding along through the mud can be rather indicative of the pacing. As mentioned, it’s a gray, almost bland looking film, alternating from overcast outdoor settings to dimly lit candlelight vigils. The use of lighting is, thank god, meticulously designed, which feels like a dying art in this day and age. You can see, but you can also not see. And such is the dichotomy not only of the visuals, but of the concept of the holy spirit. It makes the viewer question who is right, and who is wrong. Darkness so often represents wickedness, or even two facedness. But does it here? Or is it those who are seen in all their glory who are the evildoers? Those who hide in the shadow versus those who are bathed in light.

If you like religious horror, this is a movie for you. If you’re new to religious horror, this might be a really great starting point. There are no jump scares, no gore, no demonic possession. Just plain old human dread. I’ve always liked the feeling of dread in my horror.

Completely pointless framing device aside, The Wonder was a good, if jammed movie that was just a little bit too long. There are a lot of things to think about here; probably being worth a second, or maybe even a third viewing, depending on your taste. The acting was sublime and did in fact live up to the promise of the opening monologue that every character on screen truly believes what they are experiencing is real, an astoundingly bold claim for a horror movie, a genre not exactly known for its groundbreaking performances. Still, there is not one performance, not one moment that fell flat, or felt unbelievable.

Shortcomings aside, it is still worthy of a definite 4/5*

#the wonder netflix #horror #film #movies #review #spook study #writing #4/5*#The Wonder #the wonder 2022 #movie review #my writing

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thetimelordbatgirl · 1 year

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...This post really is the definition off, “Writing your version of events and expecting everyone to believe them.”...which given how dedicated parts of Lily’s fanbase can be, will happen, but just...let’s see:

The whole thing with Rebecca Sugar is not only because of how Lily acted when being critical of the show, but also cause of how even in 2023, Lily still has an ongoing hatred for Rebecca simply cause Lily didn’t like Rebecca’s show and instead of moving on, similar to how she treats Dana Terrace (creator of The Owl House), Lily still drags Rebecca whenever she can, including insulting Rebecca’s talents in music and writing and art and it’s at that point that you start to wonder if its less ‘Rebecca made a show Lily didn’t like’ and more ‘does Lily just have a obsessive hatred for Rebecca?’ And the thing with Big Bang Theory and Harley Quinn was literally people seeing how convenient Lily will call out stuff in Steven Universe but if its shows Lily happens to like? Oh look at that, suddenly its being ignored, as Lily won’t ever dare call out stuff she likes.

And Lily acting like she has to talk about anime is just...no one’s making her. She’s choosing to talk about it. To the point of starting a whole dubs vs subs discourse where its clear Lily prefers dubs and thinks its okay to censor Japanese culture and even acted like there wasn’t much difference between Japan and America, even implying in her version of history that Japan got destroyed by America and basically colonized their culture and from how Lily spoke, she seemed happy about that idea and seemed to imply you can easily replace Japanese with English and....oh, would you look at that- suddenly it becomes less about ‘oh you just hate I said your favorite anime is bad’ and more people literally have found her being racist towards Japanese people and she wants to try and make it about anime. Something that adds to her racism when she can only ever discuss Anime when it comes to Japan and yet, thinks its more popular in America then its own home country.

And oh god, the racism against black people accusations is far more then what Lily’s trying to paint them as: *She only ever writes black women ocs as nothing but violent and easy to anger, including Aliana whose easy to get pissed and will murder on a whim and throw someone across a room and also proceed to colonize planets and force them to follow Sith culture, while her Harry Potter OC basically used a torture spell on Vernon and it was made to seem cool when anyone whose read Harry Potter, knows who are shown using those spells in the books (hint: not the good guys). *She also wrote Aliana’s mom as being a slave trafficker and Aliana as a result, being fine with that and even getting mad if someone insults her mom for that. *When it comes to The Owl House, she has basically fetished the idea of Hunter being black (saying it’d make him interesting) and for some reason, wanted the backgrounder character, Skara, to be more focused on instead of characters like Hunter and Amity, and there’s also how she treats Luz as soon as Luz stopped being the character Lily expected her to be. And there is likely stuff I’m missing from this, but its less ‘oh i mixed words up’ and actually just again, Lily burying stuff.

And there’s a-lot of shit to unpack with her clearly proceed to slander someone throughout the rest of the post to try and make them the villain of her narrative, but the whole ‘Lily sends herself asks’ and ‘Lily lied about having cancer’ is literally because: *When one of the NSFW Art website accounts was exposed to be Lily’s, Lily suddenly and conveniently got an ask warning her that ‘someone is pretending to be her on the website’...when not much on that situation had even come out at the time, so basically Lily played herself there, and then there’s asks that Lily gets that basically looks to be Lily’s writing style that also allows Lily to rant or slander or deny anything/anyone she wants to at the time. *The cancer thing is still on-going but Lily has slipped up constantly in her cancer lying and keeps adding to the lying, all because now her sister has called her (and the twos brother) out for pretty serious allegations including molestation. *And it should be noted that Lily also proceeded to slander her sister in response, trying to paint her sister as this mastermind villain.

And her calling someone terfy is also ironic, given Lily has gotten into hot water for lore in her Star Wars OC fic where...her OC basically said that only women can become siths, and if they happen to come out as trans male or non-binary while a sith, its okay because...they still considered sith women to their fellow sith.

Yeah uh, suddenly not so much of a hate wagon/wanting to tear Lily down as Lily claims it is, huh?

#lily orchard #i dont think i have everything here and i could be wrong in areas #so i am welcome to being corrected and such #but this whole post is just....#lily still trying to paint a narrative that doesnt exist #though her dedicated fans will buy it so

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celestialcass · 11 months

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I went to the John Waters one man show “devil’s advocate” last night with my partner. And it was… certainly something.

From the director of Hairspray and many more cult hits, I was expecting a funny night out, but the combo of the Rio theatre’s crowd buzzing and the pre-show music being extremely loud, I had a meltdown. I usually have earplugs for big crowded events but I lost them recently (thanks adhd and memory problems) so I plugged my ears and cried (my partner says I was silent but I couldn’t tell in the moment) from overstimulation while the show started. Luckily the volume for the regular mic was fine and I was able to calm down during the opening of the set.

Sometimes I underestimate just how overwhelming the world can be without my earplugs, but that experience made me order more that should be arriving today. So. Yay?

I’m trying to be more open about my disabilities on here for transparency’s sake. Lots of us on tumblr are neurodiverse and if I can warn someone about a show having both extremely loud pre-show AND multiple uses of the ‘r’ slur, I will.

This was followed by a diatribe that was anti-censoring which like. Sure. Personally the ‘r’ slur feels like a punch in the gut everytime, but he didn’t say the ‘n’ slur aloud, so there IS a line he won’t cross anymore, but that somehow isn’t censoring? I wonder if it’s because there are words that do nothing but hurt people and we shouldn’t say them for that reason, rather than it being a symbol of government overreach.

Additionally he spoke about the “nonbinary wave” as he called it, which left a bitter “it’s just a fad” taste in my mouth as he failed to use they/them pronouns correctly. I suppose the joke could be the grammatical errors, but I certainly didn’t find it funny.

There was a deeply uncomfortable section where he seemed to confuse the term “punk” with being suicidal, which is blatantly untrue and reductive of that community. I understand comedians do this for expediency’s sake but if he was semi-accurate with the generalizations it would land better.

He went on about his libertarian political stance, which like, bold move for a 77 year old. Not choosing a side makes you soooooo edgy and hip with the kids right? Nope. Libertarians just want a medal for not being “conformist” which was the tone of the whole show.

John Waters’ films are a notable part of queer history, but he didn’t seem particularly interested in accommodating for disabled fans, or in having well-researched talking points.

I wouldn’t say it’s unwatchable or not worth seeing if you’re a superfan, but this was the first and last of his live shows I’ll see.

#John waters #live show #autism #nonbinary #enby #tw suicide #cw suicide

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audioaujom · 1 year

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26: Victim’s Memoirs [wrong end 3 ★4]

Corse Party Hub, next >

This is wrong end 3 ★4 from Chapter 1! If memory serves, this was originally a 3ds exclusive ending, but was added to the remastered PC version released a few years ago. The messed up/censored text will be translated at the bottom for anyone interested since I did alter it slightly from the original canon victim's memoirs.

Pairing: Ranboo and Tubbo

Word Count: 2332

Chapter TWs: Mind Manipulation ("Darkening")

“Hey, what's that?” Ranboo asked randomly, noticing a loose leaf sheet of paper tucked between some floorboards on the ground in the classroom he and Tubbo were investigating.

Tubbo shrugged, not really paying it much mind as he tried to rifle through some desks further away. “Dunno. Looks like notebook paper.”

“I think there’s something written on it…” Ranboo couldn’t help himself, crouching down beside it and trying to get a better angle on the hastily scrawled writing.

“Read it to me.” Tubbo called, not looking up from the desk he had his face stuck in.

“What?” Unimpressed, Ranboo grabbed the page and stood up, walking over to Tubbo with a frown. “Why would I do that?”

“I'm dyslexic.” Tubbo answered simply, looking up with a grin.

“That doesn't mean you can't read!” Ranboo protested, Tubbo checking the desk to make sure it was stable before hopping up on top of it and sitting down.

“What if I'm too lazy to do it, then?”

“Somehow worse.” Ranboo glared, but it didn’t bother his friend in the slightest. He finally gave in, sighing, “Here. I'll read it first, see if it's too difficult for you.”

“You're the best.” Tubbo grinned even wider, letting Ranboo scan the page before passing it over to him.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — Let Our Parting Be But Temporary I send thee flowers, my beautiful flower, as thou wait'st eternal for my return; beautiful flowers thou canst see. And shouldst I e'er break free of this hell, and retake my place at thy side. These words I couldst never say and these feelings I couldst never give will all be laid bare for thee. — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

“Cool. Love poem. Odd place for it, but… who am I to judge?” Tubbo looked up, tossing the paper off to the side after Ranboo didn’t seem to want it back.

“Most of the papers in here are more… um… ominous and awful.” Ranboo conceded, wandering back to the front of the classroom to continue poking around. “Wonder who wrote it.” After wandering out of the first classroom and rounding the next corner, Tubbo noticed the similar looking paper before his friend and ran over curiously. “Oh! Maybe this is a sequel to that love poem.”

“That doesn't concern you at all?” Ranboo asked, despite the fact he was already hovering over Tubbo’s shoulder as he crouched down to pick the paper up.

“Of all the things here that could concern me, this concerns me the least.” The blank look he shot back over at Ranboo was met with an eye roll, the two looking over the paper at the same time.

“...fair.”

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — Alas, the only flowers that bloom in hell are white as freshly fallen snow. So on a lark, thy heart—pure as a heart can be—I wish to stab with pins, and scatter the petals. Let the white flowers be dyed red by thee you poor, poor boy! — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

“What in the Edgar Allen Poe?” Ranboo laughed a little, an odd feeling starting to build in his stomach from the weird writing.

“No, but it kinda is!” Tubbo nodded approvingly, setting it back down on the floor with a laugh of his own. “In a horribly disturbing kind of way.”

“Yeah, because Poe’s stuff wasn't disturbing.” Rolling his eyes, Ranboo started poking around the rest of the classroom to see what else they could find.

“I wouldn't know.” Tubbo grinned, watching him look around before adding, “You poor, poor boy~.”

“Don’t joke about that, it’s weird!” Ranboo chastised, the two going back to their hunt in relative silence, only commenting about the occasional bodies, nametags, or particularly ominous bloodstains.

Eventually deeming this classroom empty, they decided to try their luck on one of the higher floors and quickly climbed the closest flight of stairs. Hunting around the hallways, they quickly both spotted another paper, looking similar to the other ones they’d found so far.

“...more?” Ranboo asked, a little nervous, both of them bending down to look at the same time.

“Looks like.” Tubbo nodded, finally starting to pick up on his friend’s worry. “You can go first.”

“How gracious of you.” Ranboo huffed, standing up with it but holding it out at a distance they could both see it from.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — woe is me woe is the me who never stopped loving thee even if thou choosest to move on i will always love thee forevermore forevermore forevermore foreverm woe is you you poor boy who has left me after carving thine name in both heart and skin i want to show it to thee to prove that it is thine and that i still love thee you poor boy you poor poor boy — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

“You know… normally I don’t mind poetry, but I gotta be honest, boss man, this is the weirdest shit I’ve ever laid eyes on.” Tubbo commented after a minute, Ranboo nodding instantly.

“It’s getting really creepy, for sure.” Tossing the page aside, Ranboo hugged his arms in a little tighter to his chest, glancing around to make sure there wasn’t anyone watching him as the hair on the back of his neck started to stand on end. “It’s starting to freak me out.”

“Starting to?” Tubbo scoffed, crossing his arms but also taking a quick survey of their surroundings. “I’m starting to think we’re the poor boys, since we’re being subjected to these things.”

“Always a possibility.” Ranboo trailed off, letting the paper drift back to the floor before heading towards the classroom they had just passed and poking his head in the door. As if looking for it, he immediately spotted the notebook paper in the corner of the room, with words hastily scrawled on it in the same light pencil as last time. “How many of these are there?” He complained loudly, his feet already carrying him over to the page.

“Only one way to find out!” Tubbo jogged past him, swiftly picking the page up and starting to read it.

“Tubbo, wait—!” Ranboo reached out to grab the paper from his friend—something about these pages was giving him a seriously bad feeling, but he was a moment too late as Tubbo angled it so they could both see and he gave in to his own curiosity.

“Too late!”

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — didn't want to see your face, you poor boy your face is for no one but me, you poor, poor boy as you burn in the fires of hell, you poor boy i continue to live here, you poor, poor boy i am not dead yet, you poor boy let our par**** ** *** ***pora** y** *oor p*** b** — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Anything past the last few letters was completely caked with blood, the rest of the writing obscured by the still damp covering of red.

“You spoke too soon, Tubbo. This is the weirdest thing we’ve ever laid eyes on.” Ranboo spoke first this time, Tubbo agreeing quietly.

“Are you starting to get a really bad feeling?”

“If you mean the kind of bad feeling that would make me actually pee my pants, then yes. Yes I am.” Ranboo nodded seriously, though Tubbo chuckled a little at his awkward ramble. “These notes are getting really freaky, maybe we should stop reading them.”

“Yeah…” Tubbo didn’t mind the silence that hung between them after, understanding the anxiety Ranboo was feeling even as his was slowly overtaken by a strong, overwhelming curiosity.

If there are more, what do they say?

Scouring the rest of the floor was surprisingly uneventful, though it only served to grow the boy’s panic. Ranboo continuously fiddled with his hands while they looked around, the panic giving way to a slowly building dread that was heavy in his stomach.

Climbing the new flight of stairs felt like they were drawing closer to something awful, him hesitating before finally making it to the landing as Tubbo looked at him curiously.

“You alright?”

“This place, it… it makes me feel really, really bad.” Ranboo answered as best he could, Tubbo’s silence urging him to continue. “I don’t like it. Like, I know I’m not supposed to like some random haunted elementary school that feels like it’s in another dimension or something but I really, really, don’t like it.”

“I get it, but we can’t really do much other than continue exploring.”

Tubbo was right, unfortunately, so all Ranboo could do was trail nervously after his friend as they found themselves near a set of bathrooms right by the top of the stairs.

They both spotted the blood covered page at the same time, Ranboo freezing in place as his dread became so heavy he couldn’t imagine taking a step closer to it. He turned to say something to Tubbo, but the boy was already running forward to scoop it up.

“Alright, fuck it.” Tubbo called as he jogged over, picking the paper up and quickly scanning its contents. “I'm too curious.”

“No, don’t—!” Ranboo reached out to stop him but was too late, Tubbo’s eyes going blank by the time he reached the bottom of the page. He carelessly dropped the paper to the floor, slowly walking back towards Ranboo with an empty expression.

“Tubbo? Are you okay? What happened?” Ranboo tried, watching Tubbo slowly shamble towards the stairs. He glanced back over his shoulder at the rather innocuous looking page, curiosity and concern driving him to walk over to it even as his gut screamed at him to run. “Is it the note? What did it—!” One glance at the half-obscured writing had his head pounding, his vision going blurry with strange dark spots. “Ah!”

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — **U CA* **ST DIE Y*U **OR **Y AP***GIZ* TO ME W*** **UR DEA** *OU POOR ***R B** IM GOIN* ** R** **UR INTEST***S FR*M Y*** B**Y **U POO* *OY AND MAKE RED FLOWERS BLOOM A** ****AD A** *VER THAT WH*TE SKIN O* **URS YOU POOR POOR BOY TH** **NT EV** ** *BLE TO TELL WH* YOU A** AN**ORE ***N IM DONE WI** YOU Y*U P**R B** YOU *OO* P*OR BOY **U POO* *OY *OU POOR ***R B** YOU P*OR BOY Y*U P**R POOR B** Y*U PO*R B** YOU POOR POOR BOY — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

All he saw after that was black.

Ranboo was collapsed in a heap on the floor when he finally managed to pry his eyes back open, his head still distantly pounding as he groggily sat up and looked around.

“Tubbo? Are you here?” He called into the empty halls, a quiet wind whistling through broken boards the only answer he received. “Where’d you go?”

Awkwardly wobbling to his feet, he headed for the steps, remembering vaguely that his friend had been heading in that direction before he’d passed out.

What happened? Was it… the pages?

He continuously called his friend’s name as he slowly made his way down the steps, heading into the closest classroom after making it down to the second floor. Not finding anyone in there, he headed back towards the stairs to head down the other hallway, trying that classroom instead.

“Tubbo?! Tubbo!!” His cautious calling turned to a cry of relief as he spotted Tubbo sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, ignoring the dread that was building back up from the blank way he was staring off at the wall in front of him. Ranboo was quick to grab him by the shoulders, shaking him gently to try and get his attention. “...Tubbo?”

“Poor boy… Poor boy…” Tubbo mumbled quietly, rocking a little in his seat and not even slightly acknowledging his friend’s presence. His voice was odd and flat, a strange darkened sheen having taken over his normally vibrant eyes. “Ranboo… You poor boy. You poor, poor boy.”

“Tubbo! What happened to you?!” Ranboo was completely panicked now, shaking his friend harder in desperation. “What's going on?! Tubbo!”

The dull, humorless laugh that came out of Tubbo had Ranboo jerking back, his mind torn between screaming at him to run and crying out for Tubbo to come back to his senses.

“Tubbo! No, please!”

The laughter turned almost inhuman as it pitched up, shrieking and hysterical as Ranboo backed away further with the feeling that something terrible and irreversible had happened to the other boy.

How much time had passed since they’d gotten stuck in here? It had only been a couple of days at the max, but it felt like a horrifying eternity. Hungry, tired, and nearly desensitized to the constant and ever present violence and madness, it was like Tubbo had finally shattered from everything. The laughter died down, his head lolling forward as overgrown bangs hung in the way of his lifeless eyes. “...Ranboo?”

Ranboo’s head shot up as Tubbo sounded… normal. He wiped at his face—When did those tears get there?—and walked back over towards his friend hopefully. “...Tubbo?”

“Ranboo…” Tubbo seemed close to tears, Tubbo reaching out to grab his shoulders again as a spike of relief shattered the stone of dread.

“Oh thank god, have you finally come back to your senses? You have no idea how worried I w—”

“Ranboo… you poor boy.” Tubbo cut him off, any semblance of himself gone from his tone in an instant. Dark, glazed eyes turned their attention to him, an unnaturally wide grin spreading across his face as he mumbled emptily, “You poor, poor boy…”

Horror crashed down on Ranboo like a wave, his heart and hopes smashed as he stumbled back a step. The laughter was back, gurgling and spilling out of Tubbo in gross waves, Ranboo’s panic overloading as he fell to his knees and clutched at his head in anguish.“I can’t… I… I can’t… take this… any… more…” He couldn’t see anything in front of him anymore, unsure if it was the mess of ice cold awful feelings that had overtaken his body or the strange dark mist clouding in from all sides, his own voice sounding foreign as all he could manage was to scream, “I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!”

Translated Notes

Note 4/5

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — didn't want to see your face, you poor boy your face is for no one but me, you poor, poor boy as you burn in the fires of hell, you poor boy i continue to live here, you poor, poor boy i am not dead yet, you poor boy let our parting be but temporary you poor poor boy — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Note 5/5

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — YOU CAN JUST DIE YOU POOR BOY APOLOGIZE TO ME WITH YOUR DEATH YOU POOR POOR BOY IM GOING TO RIP YOUR INTESTINES FROM YOUR BODY YOU POOR BOY AND MAKE RED FLOWERS BLOOM AND SPREAD ALL OVER THAT WHITE SKIN OF YOURS YOU POOR POOR BOY<br /> THEY WONT EVEN BE ABLE TO TELL WHO YOU ARE ANYMORE WHEN IM DONE WITH YOU YOU POOR BOY YOU POOR POOR BOY<br /> YOU POOR BOY YOU POOR POOR BOY YOU POOR BOY YOU POOR POOR BOY YOU POOR BOY YOU POOR POOR BOY — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

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