#I’d start a top surgery fund

[yourheartinyourmouth]

oh my gods y’all send best vibes possible

husbeast has a friend who thinks he can get husbeast a WFH job on his team making 60-65K or at least re-vamp his résumé and cover letter and help him find work in a similar role/salary and also maybe me too

please Hermes my man i need you now more than ever

[coolbeanskwan]

Figured I’d try to share this here. I know no one really follows me or interacts but i really need help trying to fund my top surgery later this year. I’m responsible for paying the deductible and 25% of surgery costs, if insurance approves to cover it. They also decided to stop covering my therapy which i started to get my WPATH letter. This procedure is so important to me and i have to juggle financial costs along with basic life necessities as a 25 year old and student loans, and I’m currently unemployed. Please help me, every dollar helps. And please share with those who can help.

https://gofund.me/c4fee667

[headknight-oh]

My official commissions post

So I’ve been unemployed for over a year now. I got laid off from my PR writing job because “the intern and ai can do the same job cheaper” apparently. Anyways, I’m starting to save up for top surgery sometime next year (my consultation is in 2 weeks!!) and the money I get watching my nephews 3 days a week is not enough for that. So, come and sample my wares

1. Tapestry Blankets

I posted this a few days ago and some people seemed interested in the style. I have multiple patterns for the center tapestry picture as well as the boarder patterns. This one took me about 30 hours, so that’s what I’m going to base my price on.

PRICE: $300+materials+shipping

2. Tapestry

There are two different styles of crochet that I can use for these: Tunisian crochet and regular single crochet. The snoopy is tunesian crochet. Ignore how curly he is lol. My partner didn’t want to wait for him to be blocked.

If you have a grid pattern that you’d like, you can get that. Or I have a variety that I can search through. These ones are gonna be priced based on size and which technique.

PRICE:

Small (up to 12 inches width and length)

Tunisian: $45 Regular: $30

Large (13 inches to 24 inches tall width and length)

Tunisian: $100 Regular: $65

3. Stuffed D&D dice

I only have a few that I can picture, but I can make a full set of d and d dice or individual d20s. Colors can be customized as you like, and if you want to help me bust my stash and use the yarn I already have, we can discuss a price reduction.

PRICE:

Full set: $100 d20: $45

I have a few more options that I’ll add when I can get some good pics. And some premade things if anyone is interested. My dms are open if anyone wants to discuss. I also might reopen writing comissions but I’m not sure and would have to update rates because I have degrees now lol. Not sure. Anyways, thanks for sitting through my post! My Venmo is https://venmo.com/u/Jenny-Robinson-61 if you wanna help pad out the top surgery fund. I’d also be willing to make things not listed above. If there’s something you want that’s not up there, message me and we can work something out. Thanks again!

[thedrarrylibrarian]

Several people have been kind enough to let me publish their thoughts on fandom, community, and queerness to celebrate Pride in the Library. Today's piece is a conversation between @academicdisasterfic and his boyfriend, @saintgarbanzo. If you missed it, @saintgarbanzo organized a fundraiser to help support @academicdisasterfic with funds for top-surgery. This fundraiser has met its goal, and is referenced to throughout their conversation.

In this conversation, @saintgarbanzo is chickpea in bold, and @academicdisasterfic is rooney, in regular text.

chickpea: ok baby. let's talk about the gift economy in fandom. it’s something that's part of our politics but many of us struggle with feeling like our worth is tied to our production, even in fandom. has your fundraising experience changed your understanding of those concepts for you?

rooney: Short answer: yes.

Long answer: I think part of what drew me to fanfiction in the first place was a complete divide from capitalism. It’s such a relief in this world of productivity culture. I started writing purely because I loved it and I never thought anyone would read my fics. But then people did, and that meant everything to me. After this fundraiser, I truly understand why the gift economy is so imperative to fandom. People are doing me a favour by donating to my surgery, reading my fics, or writing fics that I love to read. It still feels overwhelming to have as much support as I did. I haven’t processed it at all, I can’t actually fathom it, and I initially had this dread about how I was never going to be able to repay the fandom for what it did for me - it’s not true for all trans men, but for me, this surgery will save my life. But fic saved me too, and I know the same applies to many. When I thought about it like that, I realised that I would do the same thing for anyone here, and it would make me happy to do it. I’d never think they had to pay off that debt. The difference between capitalism and the gift economy is that one is about power and competition, and the other is about the cyclical nature of community. Debts don’t exist, because we don’t give from a finite pool of resources. We give to each other from an endless pool of infinite possibilities.

chickpea: i had that same realization. initially the only way we felt comfortable asking for help was by offering an exchange, but then the exchange wasn't really necessary. everyone just offered up their resources–money but also their time and talent and attention. i go back and forth between feeling guilty/indebted and trying to remind myself that this is how communities are supposed to function and i can feel grateful without feeling guilty. 

you talked about fandom's resistance to capitalism being an initial draw. what about its queerness? my first fandom interactions were very much based in fandom being a safe place to explore queerness. i want to hear about the relationship between your gender realizations and this community.

rooney: You know, I didn’t even think about it in that way - it was more, “I need a queer space, I want it to be a creative space”. It was so apparent to me, even before I knew I was trans, that whatever community I invested in had to have queerness at its core. Back in 2010 when I was figuring out my sexuality, fandom and shipping on Tumblr became really important to me, so I already knew it was there and when I started to explore it, that’s when a lot of gender stuff happened.

I think so many trans people have a more nuanced relationship with their body than is portrayed as the mainstream trans narrative of just being born in the wrong body. I worked very hard before learning I was trans to love and respect my body, and I’d never call it wrong. But reading about queer men fall in love was truly a lightning bolt moment. I’d always felt like an outsider in sapphic spaces - I’m bi/pan/whatever so I do really love women and femmes, that was never the issue - but I realised that I wanted my partners to be perceiving me differently, that I wanted to be treated as a queer man. I think the transgression and fight against purity culture in fandom was so crucial to it - the feelings of displacement and disconnection aren’t articulated the same way in published literature. One of my first fandom friends was @softlystarstruck who writes amazing trans characters with a variety of bodies and sexualities and genders. That sort of representation, of bodies coming together in all those different ways, specifically in sex, made me feel like there was hope - that transness and pleasure aren’t incongruent but born of the same instinct. We have to desire the things that will bring us joy.

chickpea: i love you

rooney: i love you too baby

chickpea: i love that you talked about displacement within queer communities. we've all seen and experienced queerphobia and racism, the demands for productivity, toxicity, discourse that's both helpful and harmful etc. you're someone in fandom who i really admire for the way you acknowledge and navigate the problematic parts of fandom while still focusing on building community in a healthy and joyful way.

can you talk a little bit about being a trans man who consciously decides to stay in hp fandom?

i’ve definitely struggled with my participation here and your fundraiser has brought up those arguments for me again, because we've harnessed this really material and transformative help for you as a trans person, that was carried pretty much entirely by this community.

rooney: Ooft, the big question. 

First off I have to make it clear that I completely understand trans people who don’t want to engage with the HP fandom, because it’s a fucking hard moral and ethical quandary to navigate. But also, I don’t think anyone, including other trans people, should judge those of us who find the inherent transgression of fandom empowering and freeing. That’s my go to answer.

I understand the ethical problems of HP and its fandom. The series is just flagrantly racist. It’s heteronormative, homophobic, and all around “ethically mean spirited”, as Ursula Le Guin so eloquently put it. But it’s still something that I loved, and more importantly, the fandom is so strong not in spite of the series' flaws, but because of them. The more broken it is, the more there is to fix - and we’ve put in Desi Harry and Black Hermione, we’ve written whole essays on why Wolfstar is canon, we’ve taken terrible things like “house elves love to be enslaved” and written complex, thoughtful interpretations of the relationship between oppressor and oppressed. We’ve fucked with it all. Some hasn’t gone far enough, particularly in regards to the way we think about and portray people of colour. But overall, we’ve improved upon something without a single cent from that work going to J.K. Rowling. I find people in this fandom have had a much deeper understanding of the problems in the series for the longest, because we examine it so critically and closely.

No one’s perfect, but we’re all trying - at least, most of us are - and we’re doing things that make the lives of trans people and other marginalised people better. And I’m a trans person who can attest to that, and I know you are too. Universal maxims like “any engagement with HP is transphobic!” don’t even begin to understand what fandom is, what it does, and why it exists. (Those universal maxims also tend to be hugely influenced by Western morality and the legacy of Christianity)

And yes - my fundraiser, and how this community came together to support a trans person in need, really shows all of it in a tangible way. The people here are here to support and uplift those who need it.

chickpea; i often fall into the trap of feeling like if my resistance doesn't transform my oppressors then it doesn't count. i’ve written posts about racism in fandom and a lot of times i still approach it from the position of like, how do i make this palatable, if i just say it with the perfect tone then it will be more approachable and i'll like, convert the racists. i write it with the idea that i have to reach the unreachable. but over and over what i see is that those posts strengthen the people already on my side. and i think it's the same when we're talking about the effects on queer people of engaging with hp. like, a lot of times the argument is that our silly little stories don't translate into real resistance, because people think of "real" resistance as legislative changes and boycotts, as efforts that transform and educate or punish oppressors. and our trans fanfic isn't convincing any terfs that they're miserable pieces of shit. but it bolsters other trans people. it supports us as individuals in this community. i think that the emphasis on whether or not hp fandom engagement translates to "real world" resistance focuses too much on that idea of reaching the unreachable people. we're here and we're doing it for each other, and i *know* it's effective because every queer person i've met in this community has a story of being strengthened by a fic, or a post, or an illustration.

i want to bring it back to joyfulness  in fandom. how has it encouraged you to cultivate more joy for yourself and others?

rooney: Honestly, I think that idea about remembering who we’re actually doing this for is so important. And also I believe we can plant seeds for change through joy. Because here’s the thing - change doesn’t originate from someone signing a piece of paper enacting legislation. That’s an important part, but that person enacts legislation because they represent their communities. Communities who believe joy is possible are stronger, because they have something to fight for. Joy is essential to resistance. I want to reach my community with my words and make them strong. And perhaps then those sentiments will reach further, because we will feel supported by each other and capable in our own lives of challenging bigotry and violence, knowing we are not alone. I am convinced that is how change happens. 

But I don’t just want to be happy so I can fight better. I want to cultivate joy because I deserve it, because I’m a person. Transphobic rhetoric dehumanises trans people, and that disconnect from our humanity can be internalised; perhaps we don’t feel worthy of indulgence, frivolity, the whimsical and beautiful and luxurious parts of life. Fuck that. Every human deserves access to joy. Treating myself cruelly will not change anything about me - depriving myself of joy when I fuck up doesn’t make me fuck up less the next time, and it doesn’t help the people affected by said fuck up. But treating myself well, indulging my creativity and dreaming and desires, actually does change me. It makes me better to the people around me, and better to myself, which means I have more energy for others and myself, which means I give more - it’s the gift economy, it’s cyclical. 

So fandom just makes me happy because it does. I love watching these dumb boys in love. And rather than try and analyse that or judge it, I let myself accept it, and go with it, purely because it’s joyful and life affirming and connects me with the world in a new and beautiful way. It’s really just the power of storytelling, I think - it calls to something primal in us. Maybe it reminds us that we’re humans in this world that wants us to be more like machines.

Fandom makes me joyful because it reminds me of my humanity, I think. With every fic I read or gorgeous artwork it’s like I’m accessing this part of my humanness that I have to keep segmented and separate from my work life, my life where I have to so much of the time be productive and disciplined. Here, I feel all of my flaws acutely and deeply, and all of my wonders, and it’s soul deep. How wonderful to be a human and to feel so keenly - how preferable to a life of trying to stay in the boring, lonely middle.

chickpea: your soulful intellectual rigor is very attractive

rooney: i think that’s my favorite thing you’ve ever said to me.

chickpea: a lot of times i have to frame my self-care and creative work in terms of resistance because that's the only way i can allow myself to have it. but you are so fundamentally right. cultivating joy isn't only for the collective, it's for me. i need to think about pleasure and joy less as a fuck you to the people trying to crush me, and more as a gift. giving yourself that gift of joy really does give that gift to others, and that's such a beautiful, community building action. 

thank you for the reminder that being in community is about engaging with our humanity. it's a perfect conclusion to our whole discussion. humanity is gorgeous and gross and so is fandom and stories are reflections of that, and those reflections are so special to so many of us.

thank you for letting me trick you into processing your feelings. 

rooney: for the record i encourage all of your attempts to trick me into processing my feelings. 

Thank you both for joining me in the Library. I loved what you both had to say about fandom being a gift of joy to ourselves and community being a gift we give to each other. Thank you so much for the privilege of reading your conversation as a way to celebrate Pride in the Library.

If you want more @academicdisasterfic, be sure to check out his work on AO3! I particularly love his fic like the sun came out, because it so accurately portrays the way people who truly love each other treat each other - with gentleness and kindness and patience.

If you want more @saintgarbanzo, be sure to check out his work on AO3 as well! I love Sweeten to Taste because I'm always a sucker for a beautiful food description, and also because I love the thoughtful and nuanced discussions Harry and Draco have in this fic about justice and forgiveness and what we all deserve even when we've been wronged and when we have wronged others.

🏳️‍🌈 Lots of Love and Happy Pride! 🏳️‍🌈

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Daniel Villarreal at LGBTQ Nation:

Rep. Robert Garcia (D-CA), the nation’s first out gay immigrant congressman, recently blasted House Republicans — and anti-LGBTQ+ Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) — over the party’s proposed amendment banning drag performances on military bases. Garcia made an impassioned speech against it, noting that drag performances have occurred on military bases during wartime without issue, and that at least two Republican presidents have acknowledged that drag can be fun.

The amendment is one of several anti-LGBTQ+ amendments Republicans are trying to add to the National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA), a massive annual military spending bill. The anti-drag amendment was proposed by Rep. Josh Brecheen (R-OK). Republicans are also seeking to remove any military funding for gender-affirming surgeries and diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) initiatives to help make the military more diverse and welcoming to people from different racial, ethnic, and cultural backgrounds. “On behalf of the LGBTQ families, gay people who serve in our country, and frankly, anyone who just likes to have fun, I rise in strong opposition to this amendment,” Garcia said at the start of his speech. “There are a lot of threats to the health and well-being of our service members: oison water on military bases, toxic mold in military housing, PTSD, and suicide. So I see that a top Republican idea to protect our troops is actually to ban drag shows.”

[...] “My Republican colleagues want us to believe that gays are trying to murder us,” Garcia continued. “They want to believe that drag is harmful or immoral or wrong. This is completely ridiculous. Now, I hate to break it to my Republican colleagues, but LGBTQ people have fought and died for this country since the American Revolution, even if they were forced to hide their true selves.”

[...] “Drag is art, drag is culture, and drag is a form of comedy. Drag is not a crime and it’s not pornography,” Garcia continued, referencing recent Republican attempts to ban drag as a “sexual performance” that threatens children. “Now, real obscenity is when one of our colleagues, the gentlewoman from Georgia [Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene], shows photos of revenge porn in our oversight committee,” Garcia added, referencing the time that Greene showed a picture of Hunter Biden’s penis in a congressional hearing. “So if we want to end porn in government facilities, let’s ban that.” “We know that inclusion in our military is good for our country,” Garcia said in his conclusion. “We want to welcome anyone who wants to serve, and I’d invite my Republican colleagues to join at a drag show in the future. You’ll see that drag is not a threat. I’m convinced that some of you would really enjoy it. It’s my deep concern that this amendment is legitimizing an extremist narrative that drag performances are somehow harmful or threatening. Drag is art.”

Rep. Robert Garcia (D-CA) gave a well-researched and truthful speech on the House floor calling out the GOP’s dragphobia in a response to an anti-drag amendment from Rep. Josh Brecheen (R-OK) that would ban drag shows from military bases, ignoring the long history of drag in the military before right-wing anti-drag show extremists began to make fake outrage hay about public drag anywhere.

[pinkobsessedfreak]

hey guys!

i am finally on the road to top surgery and have started a GoFundMe to try and rally up funds to be able to pay for it! (also omg face reveal?)

i’d really appreciate if you could donate or reblog and share the link!

thank you so much!

[indigo-a-creeping]

So Trans Day of Visibility seems like a good day to talk about this.

 I’ve never liked my feminine features, specifically my chest. I could go all the way back to being three years old and desperately avoiding everything that even might be perceived as ‘girly,’ but I don’t need to do all that.

For the past two years I’ve been thinking about possible top surgery. I’ve chosen insurance companies that covered it. And with the way Florida’s laws are going lately, I decided I should do more than think about it.

I called the university hospital, which had two surgeons who performed the procedure recently, but one of them left and the other no longer does it. They have very restrictive requirements for it anyway.

I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon yesterday. He and his staff were very nice and respectful. He said it would be easy to do what I wanted, and that recovery should be smooth and easy too (we talked about pets - a large pulling dog would be a problem, but he said a small well-behaved dog shouldn’t). I got a quote for a price at the lowest end of the estimates I’d seen online (all-inclusive). However, even though he’s on my insurance and my insurance can cover the procedure, the state of Florida won’t allow him to take my insurance for that purpose. I can use it for pain medication, but probably nothing else.

(also I was hoping to get my hip area slimmed down enough that people don’t immediately “ma’am” me from a distance, but it’s already going to be a lot of money)

I’d already scheduled a therapist appointment to get a letter written for insurance coverage, and I’m still going to go and see how it goes. If nothing else we can talk about anxiety.

I don’t like asking for things, specifically money, but I’m thinking of starting a Go Fund Me for this (or if anyone has a recommendation for a better site, let me know). I know nobody is rolling in money and I hate to take any that you need more. I’m going to take a couple weeks to think about it before I make any commitments. I have a road trip coming up, and definitely some people on the itinerary who I want to talk to about this.

[actualsunflower]

I never really talked about my surgery besides posting my ‘I lived bitch’ post on some of my sm after my surgery. I guess I’m a bit more ready to talk about it now though. It’s long so it’s under the cut. I’m feeling emotional

tw for talk of suicide and self harm also

Coming up to my surgery was terrifying. My depression got so bad, so fast, so intensely especially up to the last few months. I was working full time hours, doing commissions on top, saving 600 or more from each of my $800 checks, all the while barely getting sleep and not making enough to pay for everything I needed. My pets both ended up needing expensive vet trips which bit into my savings. I wasn’t getting much traction with my posts because everyone on tumblr and discord hated me. I have almost no friends, I wasn’t active on social media, I had lost the huge support group I was with before this. I was so depressed I can’t even remember the year. I remember bits a pieces, I remember sobbing every time my roommate an I tried to leave the house because of my chest and the binder and the way my clothes fit, I remember being so embarrassed by my body AND the crying over it in a household that isn’t supportive at all. I remember being so suicidal that I’d take walks by myself and watch the train and the cars with an empty mind and a numb body wishing I had the strength to jump in front of them. I remember staying awake unable to sleep, falling asleep on calls at work from my exhaustion. I remember each month that went by it got worse and worse. I december, I started cutting again with whatever I could find, I would break wine glasses and use bent bottle caps, I don’t even know if it hurt more because I couldn’t feel it. It was easy to play off because of my iguana's claws. I would call place after place trying get somewhere to write me a psych letter saying I was clear to get surgery because of my diagnosed schizophrenia, but nowhere in town or out would help. It wasn’t until the week before my surgery that I FINALLY found someone who went out if their way on their day off to write me that letter. I wanted to feel relief but I still didn’t have a ride yet, I still didn’t have all the funds. I was close but not close enough. My tax return would cover the rest, and my caretaker and I were splitting the cost of travel and the hotel. My tax return didn’t come. I felt sick every day waiting. I had a horrible panic attack one morning after another failed call to get a letter and my roommate had to hold me until I fell asleep on the couch during our work hours and went back to work when I woke up saying my power went out. Then the week came and something incredible happened. Someone messaged me asking how much I still needed. From all my work and savings I still needed over 1k. They helped me with this. I had the letters, after lots of fighting with people in the house we finally got a ride, this I had thought was all I needed. I couldn’t even believe it. I thought they were lying and I felt so sick. I cried so hard. I’m so grateful and I think about it every single day and I’m not exaggerating. I promised to pay them back and as soon as I was working again I did, and I’m still working on some art for them too though I feel bad it’s been taking so long. The day finally came to leave. My pcp had written a psychical health approval and we faxed it over, but on the MORNING we were in the car, on the road about to get on the highway I got a call from my dr. saying she won’t actual clear me anymore until I got more bloodwork. We quickly went and got my blood drawn before getting back on the road to Seattle from southern Oregon. I got a call just outside Salem. My bloodwork came back saying I had a potassium deficiency and she wouldn’t clear me anymore for surgery. My ENTIRE surgery was paid in full, our hotel rooms were paid in full, my surgery was in 2 days. I was devastated and horrified, we called my surgeon’s office and my dr over and over, we stopped in salem and I picked up a prescription they called in and I bought a ton of food and drinks in the car that had a lot of potassium and I ate and drank nothing else for the next 2 days, she told me check again once we get to Seattle after taking it 2 twice a day. We went on through portland and vancouver, Ive been there enough times but I’m always in awe of the big buildings and intricate paintings and bridges. We stopped close to tacoma at some tiny little town to go to the bathroom, I bought some potassium drink that I chugged in the car. I can’t remember what it tastes like but I do remember seeing some crows chasing a raven while I was standing outside the car. Tacoma was scary. It looks gross, there was some big ass dome? The buildings were ugly and the highways were terrifying. I saw a ferrero rocher museum when we got stuck in the wrong lane and had to figure out how to get back on the highway. I saw multiple bald eagles, they were awesome, I love birds a lot. We made it to Seattle, it was gorgeous. I didn’t know the space needle was orange. Before we got into Seattle, we went past the SeaTac airport. It was terrifying. I had NEVER seen airplanes that big in my entire life. They don’t even look like theyre MOVING when they’re in the sky, it was the absolute strangest experience in my entire life, and still is. i live literally right next to an airport at home, and the biggest thing I’ve seen is when the Ospreys occasionally stop in, other wise it’s tiny little planes, shipping companies and Reach helicopters. Those passenger planes are SO MUCH BIGGER than Ospreys. We went into tunnels, huge overpasses, it was weird. Seattle is covered in plants, walls were covered in ivy and it dangled from overpasses, it was really awesome. Though the landscape, it’s all identical to oregon. It didn’t even feel like we left the state. That night after getting settled into the hotel, we had some issues with a super dirty room with no working electric so we had to get another room which thankfully they didn’t charge more for, we went to some stores for supplies we couldn’t fit in the prius. I brought Nick with me for comfort and my paras plush. I went to a world market for the first time in my entire life. I bought some lavender honey from Spain, and that exact mushroom mug you always see all over the internet from there and a cute Toro toy from target. I felt so horrible. I was going to kill myself the next morning I kept thinking. I was so sure. I felt delighted that I was going to. I was so, so sure I was going to. I was going to take a walk because our hotel was in a little area with a barnes and noble, a few other stores. I was just going to walk off and ‘get lost’. But I was just a bit happy that I finally got to see Seattle and the airport, see something things I’d never seen before and gone farther away from home I’d ever been. We went to bed, it was hard and uncomfortable but my meds knock me out anyway. In the morning, we struggled to find a place to even get bloodwork done in Lynwood, we didn’t know where to go and it was hard to find a place even after calling very place that came up when google searching. That morning, I took twice the amount of potassium I was told because I wanted to make absolutely sure that bloodwork came back because if it didn’t, all my money, hard work, will to live, everything would be gone and I would die. We had complications getting the papers faxed over through states. My dr had to come in on a weekend for it. I am so grateful for her for doing all that for me. The lady at the desk was an older Asian lady, and she was super patient with me during the whole frustrating process of getting the work faxed. After getting my blood drawn by her, we left to await the results. We went back to the hotel, and my roomate and I decided to take a short walk down to the barnes and noble. I bought a shadow in riverclan and leopardstar’s honor, and one other of the triple novella ones. I sat in the starbucks and read the entirely of the graphic novel waiting for that call. We called them, no response yet. We walked back to the hotel, when they called. I was cleared, she wrote the letter and faxed it to my surgeon, and my surgeon called me saying the anesthesia guy would call me about 8pm to prep me. I hugged my friend and felt like I was going to cry but I was just so overwhelmed I couldn’t. I waiting for the call, he was extremely nice, and answered all my questions and was very very thorough, dispelled a ton of misinformation I had heard and put a lot of my fears to rest. I went to bed, my surgery was at 6:30am and I needed to shower and scrub with an antibacterial brush before we left.  That morning we went in. They came out to the car and gave me and my friend a covid swab, which sucked ass. They called and told us to go in and meet them in the office. The entire building was made of glass, and I took a picture of the sunrise behind the glass building. We found the dingy stairs at the back of the fancy decorated building and took those because I was too scared to entire the elevator. I met the ladies in the room, we went back, they asked questions and drew all over my naked body with markers, I talked with the anesthesia guy again (he was an EXTREMELY tall older man who said he’d been doing this for 40 years.) I took a pregnancy test, then they had my roommate leave and took me to the operating room. I laid down on a weird bed, they put my legs on some weird thing that was alternating inflating and lifting my legs up. The anesthetist was asking me questions about my job while they prepped a ton of things that idk what any of it was. Then he stuck the IV in my hand, smacked it very hard, and the nurse put a mask on me and I was out in half a second. I started waking up still in the operating room. I was so delirious, but I could make out someone over me, and I asked? “*Friend?*” because I thought it was him but as my vision got better the lady laughed and said no. She was a short blonde white girl. My friend is taller and a Mexican dude. I really don’t know what I was thinking honestly but we both think it’s really funny still. I passed out again and when I woke up again I was in the waiting room and she was sitting next to me. I asked if I was at planned parenthood, I don’t really know why I thought I was there. She said no. I asked if I could drink caffeine and coffee, which she laughed and said yes. I was so tired and mumbling everything. I asked her how much weight I lost, she said 6 pounds. Apparently I took longer than normal to leave because I just kept going back to sleep. When I was up, the nurse told me “No peeking!!” about not moving or looking in my surgical binder. Eventually I was awake long enough and they put me in a wheelchair and down the elevator out to our car and we went back to the hotel. I barely slept that entire 9 days, it was crazy. Everyone kept saying you’d sleep so much, the whole time, but I just couldn’t it was loud, people were smoking in the building, the neighbors seem to live there in the hotel and they made some incredible smelling Indian food every single day. I took a picture of me with the HUGE surgical binder on in the mirror in the hotel room and posted it on social media saying ‘I lived bitch’ which prompted my brother to message me asking what happened as I hadn’t told a single person in my family what I was doing. My chest was so swollen that my collarbone was completely gone. I was being reminded every 6 hours to take medications, every morning and every night too. My next appointment came up, my first time seeing my chest. It was in Kirkland washington. The building was many stories, their was construction going on and it was very loud and shook everything, and we were underground. The elevator was strange and underground and worked backward, you had to press the buttons in the reverse order for them to work. I took the stairs instead, which was a very bad idea, but I was ok in the end and we made it to my appointment. She came in and took of my binder, i couldn’t stand up straight the nipple bolsters grossed me out so much. I couldnt move my arms and the penrose drains made my gag. I was very disappointed when I had to put the nasty looking binder back on for several more days. After the appointment we went back and my friend and his mom went to target for more supplies, and he bought me a ton of dinosaur toys I had been wanting and some other cool things for himself including a really neat rayquaza figure and some atla graphic novels and I bought a green shirt from target just to have a shirt I bought when I finally got surgery. My last appointment came up. We went to the appointment, at Carillon Point. I got the binder taken off, I got the bolsters removed and the drains taken out. Cutting the bolster stitches felt like nothing. The drains were the WEIRDEST THING I HAVE EVERRRRR EXPERIENCED. It didn’t hurt! But dear fucking GOD was it STRANGE. My nurse laughed and said everyone says that. She asked me how long I’ve been wanting this, and where we were from. She was shocked that my home town has less than 22k people and the biggest building is a 3 story bank. We went back outside, Carillon Point is a marina, and it was gorgeous, super clean, beautiful plants, an awesome view of Seattle over the water, a super cool nest where a bald eagle couple was sitting with each other (we got pics but they’re blurry lol). I got a coffee at the adorable fancy starbucks and we walked down to the floating docks. There were fancy cafes, a clothing shop, a salon and a restaurant, and a big bell and a clock that rang on the hour. It was cold and windy but very pretty. I saw a boat named “Her Idea”. I couldn’t even comprehend what I was feeling. i was wearing a jacket and shirt I’d worn for years before then. but it was different now. it just felt right. I wore that exact same jacket today. We took a few pics, then went back to the hotel. We had to leave the next day. When we got back to the hotel, my rm and I decided to walk to the bookstore again. Bad idea honestly because I was very dizzy and it made the swelling worse plus I still couldn’t really stand well. Next morning we packed up, I put my surgical binder back on and we drove all the way home, we took what google maps called a shortcut through a neighborhood that ended up taking up almost another hour, but it was ok because it was a very pretty neighborhood. We got home and I immediately took a shower and struggled to wash my hair but it felt so fucking good. I have completely forgotten the month of may. I can’t remember it at all. I just remember being annoyed about sleeping on my back since I’m a belly sleeper, and having to wear the binder to bed. Every day was weird, wearing clothes was weird but good. I love that green shirt I bought. I wear it all the time and it makes my chest look amazing. Life now is weird. I’m not suicidal at all anymore. It’s really weird. The feeling disappeared immediately. I don’t know what to do with my life. Not in the meme way but I really didnt think I’d make it this far. Now I’m here and I need to do something with myself. I’m still lonely all the time and I still have little to no friends. I want to make amends with some people an reach out more but the shame of my depression years holds me back. Some things that I never noticed before, some things that still make me feel that feeling:  Seat belts. Wind. Biting cold wind, the sweat, the heat, itchy stuff. The chest bowl? You know the spot right between the pecks and above the belly that dips and it’s there even though I’m fat and it wasn’t there when I had breasts. Shirts from the side. Buttoning and zipping clothing. Leaning over. Reaching things. Stretching. Hugs and chest bumps. Crossing my arms, reaching from side to side with no resistance. Water touching my entire chest in the shower. Clothing in new sizes and old clothes pilling up. Just everything now.

But honestly, the best part? Is that I don’t think about it. It’s never in my mind anymore unless it’s a happy thing. In general I don’t think about it and it’s amazing. All that pain and frustration is gone. And it’s weird. It’s amazing and I love it. I hate it and I’m confused. Life is amazing now but it feels weird and terrifying that I have to live it now. Life is POSSIBLE now. Every single day I think about the people who helped me. I earned about 85% of it, the rest was from the kindness of others and I can’t even begin to put into words the kindness and happiness and gratefulness I feel. I feel like I could never repay these people in a meaningful way for what they gave me. I have been passing on when I can and donating when I find the posts and have the money to pass this along and I plan on making more donations once I pay my current medical bill (it’s going to collections on December 11th if I don’t pay it off LOL) and I am just so humbled. I hope some day I can be the same beacon of hope to someone here that people were for me. I’m trying my best

Thanks for reading this far if you did. I just feel like there’s been so much on my mind lately and I’ve not really got many people to let it out to. Just know that I am so, so eternally grateful for the help and support and I am doing everything I can to pay it back and pay it forward, I’ve been making a huge effort to donate and share when I can and I really hope we as a community can keep this going because it truly helps and truly saves lives. I know it really did save my life, this surgery did and this incredible community did

[twinfools]

Hey I really hate sending anon asks because I believe in transparency and honesty especially with the internet giving some anonymity already but I'm not ready to share this with anyone, even almost everyone I'm close with. I'm considering phalloplasty as a- um- genderfuck and I have some questions about it.

I'm in Canada and I'm not sure where and how you accessed your surgery so it might be different. I wanted to know if you need to have glansplasty (I think that's what you called it) and vaginectomy (i almost definitely spelled this wrong😅) to have phallo. This might be a silly question because there's lots of ways to do most surgeries but it seems like in Canada the surgeons require it either because they don't know how else to do it or they just don't want to. Which brings me to my next question.

Are surgeons typically non binary friendly? I haven't had an issue with top surgeons so far but I'm nervous that this will be gatekept differently. There's a weird uptick in stigmatization of pursuing transition goals from within my local nonbinary community and I no longer identify as nonbinary because of it and there's been stigma from within transition support groups towards nonbinary people but it's died down recently.

I'm anxious about this impacting the way surgeons interact with me as well as reaching out and asking questions from my peers. Do you have any advice or insight on where to start? Thank you for reading this far and I hope this comes off as kind and respectful.

Glansplasty is aesthetic and would be optional. Have you seen surgery photos of phallo before glandplasty? Dr. Crane (the surgeon I went to) has photos on his website and it might be a good idea to get a sense of what phallo without glansplasty looks like if you’re unsure! Vaginectomy isn’t an absolute requirement but may be required in some cases (for example, some surgeons will require vaginectomy if you are getting urethral lengthening due to risk of complications— again this varies surgeon to surgeon and even person to person based on body habitus).

If you are in Canada your funded pathway for surgery will be specific to your province. BC and the Yukon access through a surgery center in Vancouver and the rest of the country accesses through GRS Montreal. Ontario residents are able to access out of country or through Montreal. I’m speaking broadly of course but hopefully this paints a bit of a general picture.

I think among surgeons there is a growing recognition of non binary/gender diverse access to surgery. Of course I can’t say whether you will have an affirming experience with a surgeon but I’ve certainly seen an increase in folks who are not binary trans accessing phallo/meta and folks accessing only parts of a procedure or some components and not others (ie: no vaginectomy is increasingly common, no UL, etc). It may be reassuring to look at a surgeon’s website/surgery center’s website and see what language they use to refer to procedures and folks who access them. Of course this doesn’t promise or predict actual competency in supporting non binary folks however it may be a starting point.

It may be helpful to go into your surgery consult with a list of things you want from surgery and things you don’t. It may be the case that there are trade offs that cannot be avoided but in that case your surgeon can help identify what is possible and what might get you closest to your goal.

In terms of community, have you joined any phallo specific peer groups? There are a number on Facebook. They are often highly secure because of the vulnerability of information on there but I’ve found these communities to be by far the best place to learn more about phallo— I’d be happy to share names of groups over DM. I’m binary identified so that has certainly impacted my experience however I know that non binary folks are part of these groups and have seen folks post and engage in dialogue about their experiences. Again I’m sorry I can’t guarantee a positive experience, its terrible to fear how you may be treated based on your identity, you should not have to navigate that. I can say from my personal experiences phallo-specific groups have by far been the most affirming and helpful spaces for me.

[azfell]

I’m so grateful and lucky to even be posting this.

Hi, most of you know me as Benji (and a select few of you have been following this blog since before I even knew transitioning was a possibility). I’m a transgender person and I’ve lived in the Deep South my entire life. A few days ago my best friend, Molly, started a fundraiser for top surgery as a birthday gift to me. She said in hindsight that she wasn’t really expecting anything to come of it. Gender-affirming surgery has been a long-term goal of mine that I’d honestly given up on ever trying to achieve… but somehow, the gofundme has hit nearly 1/3rd of the set goal in under a week. I’m still in fucking shock.

This is the first time I’ve ever felt genuinely hopeful that I might be able to live in a body I’m happy & comfortable with. It would mean the world to me if you could share this link or even donate.

Thank you for reading. 🧡

[valen-the-varcolac]

Sooooo um I’ve been thinking about setting up a go fund me to get the money I’d need for top surgery and a partial hysterectomy. The thing is that I’m not sure if that would be a good enough reason to set one up. Here’s the thing for those who may tell me to get a job, I have knee/hip issues that make it hard for me to stand or walk for to long without having shooting pain in my knees and hips, I can’t even stand up from the ground without the assistance of my boyfriend, a wall or my cane. I also can’t do a sit down job due to my hip liking to roll out of place multiple times. My hands also like to lose strength sometimes when I’m holding stuff making me drop things a lot.

The first thing I’d want done is the partial hysterectomy, (I don’t want a full one since I want to keep my cervix for reasons that I’m not gonna say but iykyk) the reasons for that being that I’m sick of having a period. The cramps get so bad sometimes that I’ve woken up from them. I’m sick of worrying about the possibility of pregnancy if the protection broke (I don’t take/have birth control due to the risk of them negatively affecting me because I take antidepressants). My boyfriend and I have talked extensively about our thoughts about kids, and I stated that I don’t ever want to give birth to a child. The reason why I don’t want to give birth to a kid is that I don’t want them to be burdened with my mental health genes. Now the reason why I’m not getting bottom surgery is because I personally don’t want to have bottom surgery. I’ve learned to accept some parts of my body through therapy and with some bedroom therapy with my boyfriend iykyk. Another reason why I don’t want it is because to be honest I’m to damn impatient to properly clean out my rear door and prep myself anytime I want my boyfriend to rail me 😂. And yes I’ve done my research on bottom surgery, all the success and mishaps that can come with the procedure (also I don’t want to take testosterone because of the body hair growth that will happen, I’ve tried having long armpit and leg hair but I found that I can’t stand the feeling of it on my own body) just because I don’t want to take testosterone doesn’t make me any less transmasc. Anyways rant over about that, I’d like to hear some feedback on the topic of starting a go fund me since I’ve never actually done something like this before and I’m nervous if that would be the wrong thing to use it for.

[headknight-oh]

My official commissions post

So I’ve been unemployed for over a year now. I got laid off from my PR writing job because “the intern and ai can do the same job cheaper” apparently. Anyways, I’m starting to save up for top surgery sometime next year (my consultation is in 2 weeks!!) and the money I get watching my nephews 3 days a week is not enough for that. So, come and sample my wares.

1. Tapestry Blankets

I posted this a few days ago and some people seemed interested in the style. I have multiple patterns for the center tapestry picture as well as the boarder patterns. This one took me about 30 hours, so that’s what I’m going to base my price on.

PRICE: $300+materials+shipping

2. Tapestry

There are two different styles of crochet that I can use for these: Tunisian crochet and regular single crochet. The snoopy is tunesian crochet. Ignore how curly he is lol. My partner didn’t want to wait for him to be blocked.

If you have a grid pattern that you’d like, you can get that. Or I have a variety that I can search through. These ones are gonna be priced based on size and which technique.

PRICE:

Small (up to 12 inches width and length)

Tunisian: $45 Regular: $30

Large (13 inches to 24 inches tall width and length)

Tunisian: $100 Regular: $65

3. Stuffed D&D dice

I only have a few that I can picture, but I can make a full set of d and d dice or individual d20s. Colors can be customized as you like, and if you want to help me bust my stash and use the yarn I already have, we can discuss a price reduction.

PRICE:

Full set: $100 d20: $45

I have a few more options that I’ll add when I can get some good pics. And some premade things if anyone is interested. My dms are open if anyone wants to discuss. I also might reopen writing comissions but I’m not sure and would have to update rates because I have degrees now lol. Not sure. Anyways, thanks for sitting through my post! My Venmo is https://venmo.com/u/Jenny-Robinson-61 if you wanna help pad out the top surgery fund. I’d also be willing to make things not listed above. If there’s something you want that’s not up there, message me and we can work something out. Thanks again!

[goodsmeller]

I AM GETTING TOP SURGERY ON AUGUST 31ST !!!

to raise funds to pay for the co-pay and cover my cost-of-living while i'm recovering, i've started a Ko-Fi goal !! there's no obligation to donate, but any amount helps, and i'd be sososo grateful!!!

Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/goodsmeller

if you're looking for any other ways to support me, my commissions are also open!! i currently have 2 slots open, with an ETA for the end of September- shoot me a message or ask if interested!!

[fly-flower-fanfics]

Hi! I absolutely love your writing shdjdh

could I request a Spencer Reid x trans male reader who finds out he’s able to get bottom surgery on the plane ride back from a case and nearly cries out of happiness? 👉👈

Akdksjs thank you!! I love this; it’s so wholesome. I don’t know much about like, doctor’s calls and such. I’ve never had to have such a big operation like this before, and I haven’t gotten to start my own transitioning. Just bear with it if it’s a little wonky, please.

In Due Time

Spencer Reid x Trans Male Reader

Warnings: Mentions of surgery and sex

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was late when the plane took off. We would get back to Quantico around noon, but it was about 3 in the morning where we were.

Everyone was relaxing after a case closed and a job well done. It was a rewarding job, but a stressful one. Hotch was writing, probably a report, and Spencer was reading a book. The rest of the team was asleep in various positions and areas of the plane.

I sighed, wrapping my blanket around my shoulders and body tighter. I glanced at Spencer again, admiring the way he leaned his cheek against his hand to read. I was in love with him, and I was incredibly lucky to have him as my boyfriend.

He had done so much for me in the time we had known each other. I started working at the BAU shortly after recovering from top surgery. I didn’t want to make it a huge deal or issue — I was also afraid of what they’d say — so I didn’t say anything about it for a long time. Yet when I had come to the realization that I liked men, Spencer was the first to realize and understand. He told me his experience about how he realized that he was bisexual. Every problem I had, I went to him. He was understanding and gentle with me the whole time.

Eventually, I came out to Spencer as trans. I was extremely nervous and scared, but he was so happy for me. He told me he was proud of me for being able to accept myself when most people probably wouldn’t. I remember how much I cried knowing that my best friend accepted me as I was. As a man. As Y/N.

I think that was the day I fell in love with him or at least realized that I had.

I kept quiet about it for a while until Penelope had caught on. She quickly told Derek, who then was quick to tease me about it. I didn’t mind, however. Spencer didn’t understand a lot of the jokes Derek would make.

It had been about two years before I was able to confess my feelings to him, which, thankfully, he returned. Our relationship had started shortly after.

Spencer was okay without sex for a long time in our relationship. We both decided that it wasn’t super important for us to have sex. There were times we had make out sessions, and a few of those lead to me pleasing Spencer, but I’d never allow him to do it back to me.

It was about a year and a half into our relationship that he finally had asked why. I told him that I hadn’t been able to get bottom surgery yet because I didn’t have the money, and I didn’t really like being touched there because of the dysphoria it gave me. I also admitted that I was afraid he wouldn’t love me because I didn’t have the parts that I wanted. He assured me that he was okay with whatever parts I did had, but completely understood if I didn’t want to be touched until I got the surgery.

Ever since I told him, Spencer had been putting some money away for my surgery as well. I told him that he didn’t have to, but he wasn’t having any of it. He told me that he was happy to help pay for it if it would improve my feelings toward myself. I couldn’t deny it, and I couldn’t deny him, so the two of us kept saving up for my surgery.

It felt like a hundred years, but after checking the account we made specifically for my surgery funds, we had enough money. I sat there, stunned for a moment before running to tell Spencer. He was in the shower when I told him. I had ripped the shower curtain open and got in the shower with him, hugging him tightly, and telling him that we made it. He held me back, just as happy as I was.

I, obviously, had to talk to Hotch at this point. I told him that I didn’t have set surgery date, but I’d need time off for the surgery and for recovery. He was silent before nodding and giving me his rare smile, telling me he was happy for me and that the time off was granted, regardless of when it was.

Spencer looked up from his book, catching my eyes. He smiled at me, which caused me to blush. I always was embarrassed when he caught me staring, but it was expected after us being together for a couple years. I was still just as in love with him as I was when I had first told him. Maybe even more.

He looked back down at his book, and I resituated myself once more. I pulled my headphones from the pocket of my jacket and plugging them into my phone before bundling the jacket up and using it as a pillow. The music was soft and gentle to help me relax and sleep a bit easier.

My heart skipped a beat when my music suddenly shut off, and my ringtone began blasting in my ears. I answered after taking a calming breath. Well, at least I wasn’t as tired anymore.

“Hello?” I answered, trying to keep my voice low so I didn’t wake the others.

“Y/N L/N?”

My heart jumped as I recognized the voice. “Speaking.”

“Hi, hello. This is Dr. Monroe. I just wanted to call and let you know that you’ve been approved for your surgery. We have scheduled you for the twenty-sixth at eight a.m. Does that work for you?”

I wanted to scream out of pure joy. It didn’t matter what day or time it was; I was going to be there. I collected myself to answer calmly. “Yes, of course.”

“Okay. Wonderful. We’ll send you an email reminder and a list of things you need to do before your surgery.”

“Thank you for letting me know.”

“Of course. See you then.”

“Goodbye.”

The call ended, and I stared at my phone screen. The music started back up in my ears, but I barely even noticed.

I did it. I got in. I have an appointment. I’m going to get my surgery. I’m getting my surgery.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and looked over. Spencer was sitting beside me, concern pulling his eyebrows together. I took the headphones out of my ears as he brought his hand to my cheek. I didn’t realize I was crying until he brushed some tears away.

“What’s wrong, my love?” he asked.

I choked back a sob, gripping his wrist and holding his hand against my face. “I got an appointment, Spence.”

That was all I needed to say. Spencer’s face erupted into joy, pulling me into his lap, and hugging me tightly. I held him back just as tight, hiding my face in the side of his neck.

“I got an appointment. I have an appointment. I got in. I got in,” I kept mumbling between breaths.

“I’m so happy for you, Y/N. Do you want to go tell Hotch? We can start planning for your time off,” Spencer said after I calmed a little bit.

I pulled back and sniffled, a wide smile on my face, and I nodded.

As I stood and looked in Hotch’s direction, I already saw a small smile on his face as he continued writing. He knew, I was sure of it, but I wanted to say it. To say it aloud and confirm it to someone else.

I had gotten my appointment.

[rwbwby]

TRANSITION TIMELINE!

The first photo was taken on 11/5/15. The last was taken today, 6/23/21. When I finally realized I was trans, almost seven years ago, I never thought I’d reach this point. I was in a really tough living situation right after that. I got stripped from a parent’s health insurance for being trans, and living with that parent was a nightmare at the time. Constant fighting, constant misgendering and downplaying my experiences, even threatening to kick me out—it was hell.

I started testosterone on 11/1/17 after a very lengthy process of finding the right therapist, getting my letter, and working with my shitty insurance to get pre-authorization. (That was before I got kicked off and had to pay out-of-pocket for all my healthcare for a year.) It was one of the greatest days of my life, and the start of a brand new journey for me. It wasn’t easy at first, but I finally made it out on my own, got myself back into college, and eventually worked my way up to get healthcare at a new job.

That healthcare is the reason I was able to get top surgery, which I got on 6/2/21. This was it: the culmination of my hopes and dreams, something I thought would always be out of my reach. Normally, it carries a $14k price tag, but insurance brought it down to just $1,500. I took out all the money in my retirement fund to pay for it. I went through hell and high water to get here, too. I caught COVID-19 a week before my surgery was supposed to happen, back in March, and had to reschedule it for June. It nearly broke me…until I realized it meant I would get vaccinated by then, and so would my mom. It’s thanks to that slip of fate that my mom was able to be there for me during surgery to take care of me.

Now, I’m chilling at the house of a friend who so graciously offered to take me in for the second part of my recovery. I really can’t express how much I never expected to make it this far. If you’re a young trans person and you desperately want to medically transition, believe me, it does get easier. You’ll reach a point where you get what you’ve needed for so long, and the feeling is better than you could ever imagine. Stay strong, my friends. 💜

[jimvasta]

Six months on Testosterone

I did an update at five months, here we go again at six months

In case you missed some previous details: I am an older than most ftm medical transitioners. Yep, I left it late mainly because my xennial idiot self had no idea I was trans for a long time - LGBTQ education was illegal when I grew up (Section 28, thanks Thatcher), the internet literally did not exist until I was in secondary school (and was dial up only), and if you get told you’re a tom girl long enough you struggle to figure it out. 

So, I am married, I have children, and a career - I’m your Trans Dad but you youngsters can call me Baba. You can’t tap me for pocket money (my little live in minions have already taken everything), but you can absolutely ask me questions, get moral support (or amoral if required), and if I ever meet you in person I do give great Baba hugs. 

I have been around the block few times and had the usual life disasters here and there. I count myself lucky to have survived this far!

Anyway, six months on T:

Periods are no longer a thing - yay! If I bleed now it’s because I’ve been a dumb arse and injured myself, not because mother nature is being a drama queen.

Hair - So much hair. I was expecting treasure trail and a few hairs on my chest but the extra hairs growing my upper thighs were an eye opener! Fine dark hairs on my upper lip are more fluffy than anything else and I am only shaving to get used to it.

Voice - Oh yes, it’s getting low and the worst of the cracking seems to have gone in the previous month. It may sneak up on me again though, we will have to see.

Strength - Hehe, wrestling matches with the hubby are getting good. I go to the gym and lift weights regularly, I can now match him for strength and he is having to come to terms with me being the bear in this relationship. To be fair, I really don’t think he minds,

Surgery - I see the consult for top surgery in three weeks. Given I have rather large moobs (two children will do that!) it will have to be a double incision and the first quote is £7800. In theory I could wait for the NHS, but I’d like to get surgery before retirement so private funding it is. I will see if I can get an hysterectomy through the NHS, but that’s not such a priority atm. The moobs are a huge dysphoria issue since I feel like they stop me passing and during summer it’s too hot to bind.

Hormones - Obviously, I’m now six months in. I started out on Testogel and it worked but timing when to apply it with gym workouts and an active shift working job was a pain. You can’t shower within hours of applying it which has the potential to make you chose between T levels and feeling icky/sweaty all day. My wonderful specialist laughed at me for making the decision to change just as we got my T levels in the right place and then cheerfully stabbed me in the backside with Nebido. In three months time I will go back for another round. A week later and I am already liking not having to do anything and knowing my T is there.

Random - My body temperature has gone up, I don’t feel the cold so much and I struggle stupidly in the heat. Libido, oh boy, that is crazy and hubby is loving it!  My face shape is changing and fat distribution is giving me a belly and my hips are less obvious, while my shoulders are broadening.

Overall - Passing is hit and miss, hubby informed me I am in the uncanny valley stage of transition. 

My workmates and I are running an experiment with the people we meet on a daily basis. I think it’s mostly women who code me as female and men who code me as male. They think it’s age based and the older a person is the more likely they are to see me as female. Results when we have a large enough study.

Remember, you do you. All my fabulous fellow cryptids, you know you’re beautiful. If you’re younger than me beware, I will adopt you if your biological family are being shitty.