#I’m also currently in the middle of writing the next in the series about Freddie Mercury so get excited for THAT

[thesedrawnpens]

So I decided I wanted to write a series of fanfics about Aziraphale and Crowley and one of their many friendships throughout the ages. So I decided I would do the first one that came to mind for me: Oscar Wilde.

And, of course, being the Normal Person I am, I made art to accompany the fic so you too can visualize what I think these two man-shaped beings would look like visiting with Wilde. I hope you enjoy.

[pit-and-the-pen]

Chapter 4

 Just a short chapter to kick off my ideas for this series! Hope you enjoy! 

        A knock on Fred’s door interrupted him from a rather pleasant dream, the smell of apples faintly being chased away as he stirred awake. “Go away” He grumbled as loudly as he could muster before pulling a spare pillow over his head and rolling over onto his stomach. 

       “You’re late for training.” George calls from the other side of the door. Fred just groaned loudly and swore. He’d never hear the end of this from the guys. Trudging out of bed, he threw on whatever clothes he touched first. Deciding he could put together a better outfit later. His training gear would cover it anyways. 

     Walking out of the door, George whistles lowley when Fred passes him. A cup of warm coffee was shoved into his hands by George. Fred’s not normally a coffee drinker, but grimaces and downs the small cup anyways.  “Boy, you would think you stayed up the whole night.” George laughed at Fred’s disheveled appearance. “She even got you home at a reasonable time and everything.” He laughs a little louder at the slightly starstruck look that takes over his brother's face at the mention of last night. He claps his brother over the shoulder.  “Look at you, losing sleep over a pretty face.” 

Fred winds up to argue back before George holds his hands up. “Mate, it’s a good look on you. Well not right now obviously but overall.” George winks at his brother as they start to walk down the pathway outside to the training arena. “I haven’t seen you that lively since Bill was crowned.” Fred really wants to argue but he can’t, he knows he became a stiff the moment he became next in line. 

He remembers how him and George used to run rampant through the castle, pulling as many pranks as they possibly could. Minerva or even their mother yelling after them. The thought brings a smile to Fred’s face. How much of a simpler time that was. Back before they were looking face down at a war. Before his father’s problems we’re thrown into his lap because, in all reality, Bill wants nothing to do with them. The same way that Charlie had wriggled out under the guise of helping peace relations in Romania. The same way that Percy left the weight on Fred’s shoulders by being a royal face on the front and getting so good at raising morale that they decided to keep him exactly where he was. 

Plus, as much as everyone loved Percy, he cared too much about how he was perceived to make a great king. He would be too powerful in the wrong hands and the family had its fair share of people that would take full advantage of that fact before the crown even touched his head. He. realized he had been silent for a little too long and just sighed. 

“Sorry George. I know I’m no fun anymore.” His brother nudged him in the ribs.

“Whoever said you were fun in the first place eh?” George said in such a serious tone it made Fred pause. He saw the look on his brother's face and realized the joke had gone right over his head. I really do need to lighten up. He thought to himself and chuckled at his brother. 

Running a hand through his hair a small pang of sadness hits him harder than he thought it would’ve. He’s really just lost so much of himself by the prospect of being king someday. And he really knows it’s just a matter of time. The entire family is waiting with baited breath for Bill to finally run off with Fleur. They keep getting closer every day and it’s only a matter of time until the couple run off to the hills of France. Fred mentally curses at the thought. Bill isn’t doing it to be selfish, he knows that but Fred will be damned if he lets George suffer through everything he’s going through. If it becomes Fred’s turn he’s bringing them through a war and he’s never been more terrified at that idea.

 Fred walks down to the arena in a bit of haze. His thoughts run all over the place. Worse case scenario, one after the other, plays in his mind. How they don’t have enough bodies to fight a war. About how everyone will hate him when he has to draft. The kingdom falling because Fred couldn’t make the important calls at the right time. It’s enough to make him wish that he had stayed in bed. 

Before he realizes it, he’s stepping onto the gravel rink of the training arena. Trying to clear his head with a small shake, he realizes he can spiral later. Right now, he’s doing what he can. Everything else for now can wait. This is what he needs to do to play his part. Keep an eye out for who has leadership potential. 

With the Triwizard tournament coming up, currently being worked up and finalized as he stands here, he needs to keep a clear head. Does he think that right now is not the time for all the usual pageantry? Of course, but for now, it’s not his call to make and he’s grateful for that. He just falls in line and takes his orders when they are given. George gives him a firm pat on his back as he takes his usual spot on the bleachers, pulling out a large book and a quill. Ready to take notes down to report back to Bill. As he expected, there are a few lears and teases about his tardiness, comments he brushes off with a shrug. A few comments on seeing him with someone last night and he quickly shuts down that line of thinking. 

He pairs the men off into their small sparing groups. Deciding that he didn’t trust his own reflexes today, he informs them he wants to work on non-wand fighting. 

“Why would we do that when we have wands?” A voice calls out from the crowd. He sighs heavily. Of course these knob heads would think that. 

“What are you going to do if your wand gets lost, or heaven forbid, were to break in the middle of a fight?” He squints at the man that questioned him. “Are you going to run in the middle of a fight because of that? No. That’s why this is just as an important skill as dueling.” Fred pats the longsword currently resting on his hip. A few people from the crowd chuckle. They just assume it’s for show. He notices a few of the men looking behind him as he’s speaking. He sends a glance over his shoulder and he wants to curse from the sight in front of him. None other than Draco Malfoy. Loud and proud, standing like he owns the damn place. 

He bites back the eye roll and gestures to his men. “Work amongst yourselves for a moment.” He looks at the defiant faces. “With wands if it’s that damn important to you.” He says dismissively but with a tone that says this isn’t the last of that conversation. 

The relationship with the Malfoy family and the Royal family is rocky to say the least. They were part of the group that broke off and tried to become important in the Dark Lord's personal court, before it crumbled, of course. They were also some of the loudest opponents for the Weasley family to become the ruling family and decided to let that little detail fuel every one of their actions for the last fifty years. They did all of this while trying to worm their way into the most powerful positions. Much to Fred’s displeasure to admit, Lucius had managed to redeem himself quite well and from that Draco grew up just as good as a prince would have. 

“To what do I owe the displeasure of your presence Draco?” Fred sighed out. Not bother to care about diplomacy. There was something about the boy that just made his blood boil, too many smart comments aimed at his fathers competency when they were in school together he reckons. Malfoy just scoffs, pointing his head high in the air as he always does. 

“I was sent from the castle to come and get you. Important meeting apparently.” His voice full of discontent, obviously not liking being sent to run errands. 

“And why are you even in the kingdom again?” Fred taunts. “Front line too scary for you?” 

Once again Malofy scoffs. “They pulled Potter and I both out last week. That’s all that I know. Sent in replacements and everything.” Draco raises an eyebrow at Fred’s shocked expression. “Do you not even know what’s going on in your own kingdom? I thought they would be filling you in before him at this point.” He laughs and Fred lunges forward. Grabbing the shiny armor that Draco is wearing. Proof of how little he actually had seen of battle. 

“Woah. Not here Freddie” George says, coming to pry Malfoy out of Fred’s grip. Fred looks back at the group of men currently inspecting every detail of this interaction. 

“Better watch that temper, your majesty.” Malfoy spits out before Fred lets him go, giving him a large shove to get some distance between the two of them. He watches with a small smirk as the blond stumbles back and takes a second to regain his footing.

 Fred turns to the crowd, not even bothering to pretend they haven't just seen the interaction. “Well looks like you have been saved from a boring day.” Fred addresses them. “You’re dismissed but we’re doing double training to make up for this interruption.” He calls and claps his hands, letting everyone know they’re dismissed. 

There are a few groans from among the crowd but after the little show Fred put on no one thinks it smart to try to test his patience at the moment. 

I’ve tried to get this up three times and tumblr has decided to hate me so sorry if the formating is a little off. I tried to fix it but I’m terrible at editing if you havent noticed already.

Taglist: (some wont tag so if you changed urls and still want to be tagged please let me know!) @they-write-once-in-a-while @magical-spit @birdie-writes @ickle-ronniekins @heart-of-tempered-steel @wand3ringr0s3​ @thoseofgreatambition @things-that-start-with-f @elf-punk @bitchywhisperswizard @a-little-too-much @izzytheninja @kpopgirlbtssvt @shadowsinger11 @harrysweasleys 

[oohlovergirl]

Make Believe: Part One [Roger Taylor x Reader]

Pairing: Roger Taylor x Reader [FAKE DATING AU]

Summary: You’re a famous rockstar. Roger Taylor has an image problem. Both of your management teams thought it would be a great idea for you two to fake date. Problem is: you guys hate each other’s guts.

Word count: ~1.6k

Contains: language, that’s pretty much it 

A/N: this is a shameless way I can write an enemies-to-lovers trope and fake dating au because I’m trash for both of those (It’s the best of both worldssss). So this was really fun to write! I hope you enjoy! Let me know if you want to be added to this series’s taglist or my permanent taglist!

“Y/N Y/L/N’s Newest Album Hits #1 in the U.K, taking the coveted spot right from under Queen’s noses!” 

––––––

“Absolutely not. Not going to happen,” Roger says, arms crossed tightly across his chest as he leans against the desk in Jim’s office. 

Jim sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Roger. You have an image problem. You’re pictured with a new girl almost every night. An article about you breaking some girl’s heart is in the papers every other day. This behavior,” he waves his hand around, “is hurting sales. You’re not going to get out of this,” Jim says, still annoyed that you had taken the top spot for most album sales when he––and everyone else––confidently thought it would be Queen sitting at the top this year. 

Roger scoffs in disbelief. “I’m in a fucking rock and roll band. Our audience isn’t the sort to be swayed away from that.”

“Statistics have shown that each time one of you have gotten into a relationship, your sales have soared. Think about Brian last year. And then consider having the number one artist in the UK dating a member of Queen. This is going to be a huge success.” Roger stays quiet at that. 

“Look Rog––I’m not the biggest fan of this plan either, but you’ve got to be honest, it’s going to work. And she’s a great girl. I really like her,” Brian says, putting his hand on his friend’s shoulder. Freddie nods. 

“Well, that’s easy for you to say! You don’t have to fake date your nemesis!” Roger says, throwing up his arms. 

Brian rolls his eyes. “I think “nemesis” is a little bit of an overstatement, Rog,” he says. 

“Why does it have to be me?” he groans. 

Jim looks pointedly at him. “Maybe because everyone else is already in a relationship with other people?” Roger just groans again.

“I really don’t understand your hatred towards her! I think she’s lovely,” Freddie says. Rogers eyes are wide with betrayal.

“Ask her! She hated me the second she laid eyes on me!” he says, indignation prevalent in his voice. Brian and Freddie both raise their arms up in mock surrender at his outburst, stifling their laughter. To be honest, they all think Roger and your feud is quite amusing. 

“Ten bucks says that they’ll sleep with each other by the end of the night,” Freddie once said as he watched you and Roger bump into each other at a party your record label was throwing. 

“Twenty bucks says that she’ll throw her drink straight in the face,” Brian retorted. Brian got twenty dollars richer that night. But still, the band members––everybody––cannot deny nor escape the tension, sexual or not, between the two of you. 

John is currently trying to suppress a smile, eyes crinkled at the edges. Roger narrows his eyes. 

“What are you snickering about over there?” 

“I’m really excited to see you both interact with each other.”

“You’ve got to admit it, darling, this is gonna be so fucking entertaining,” Freddie chimes in. 

“Oh fuck me,” Roger says in a huff, plopping himself down in a plush chair while dragging his hand roughly down his face.

“Twenty bucks says he’ll be saying that to Y/N when this is over,” Freddie whispers to Brian. Before Brian can respond, Roger punches Freddie in the arm. 

––––––

“WHAT?” you screech, the water you’re holding sloshing out of the cup. 

“I’m sorry Y/N, but we already planned this whole thing, and I think this opportunity will be amazing for the both of you. We’re going over to the boys’ recording studio this Friday to finalize all of the details,” your manager, Anne, says almost gently. You sigh.

“I just hit number one on the UK charts. Why would I have to use his help?” 

“Yes, and you know that everyone is so proud of you. But this will keep you at the top and open up more opportunities. It’s a win-win situation. Just think about this purely as a business deal, which it is, and just ignore your hatred towards him.” You open your mouth, but she raises her hand. 

“And…you’ve got to admit, he’s not hard on the eyes,” she says with a grin. You pause for a moment before lightly smacking her arm with the magazine you grabbed off her desk, both of you erupting into laughter. 

––––––

Friday came too soon. Your laughter is gone as you stand in front of their recording studio. Taking a deep breath, you walk through the doors, and you’re met with the sight of Queen, lounging on a couch in the middle of the room. 

“Hi boys! Hi Jim, nice to see you again,” Anne says before walking over to Jim and giving him a friendly hug and kiss on the cheek.  

“Hey Y/N!” Brian says, standing up from the couch and bounding over to you with open arms. You smile, returning his embrace. 

“Hey Bri! How are you?” you ask, voice muffled in his chest. John and Freddie both stand up as well, coming over to give you hugs. 

“You look stunning darling,” Freddie compliments, giving you a kiss on the cheek.

You’ve been friends with them for quite a long time, having met at a music awards after party many years ago. They had all taken a liking to you and you to them. All of them except one. And that one is still sitting––more like sprawled out––on the couch, his arms stretched lazily across the back of it and his legs spread too wide. He smiles at you and wiggles his fingers mockingly. 

“Hi gorgeous,” he says with a smirk that makes you roll your eyes. Annoyance already beginning to bubble fast underneath your skin. 

“Close your legs,” you snap. 

“I know it’s difficult, but eyes up here love,” he says with a tsk. Your mouth drops open, and you feel a flush of anger creep up your face in the shade of a bright red. Before you can retort, Anne and Jim cut you off. 

“Behave you guys.”

“Sometimes I feel as if they’re children,” Anne mutters to Jim to which he vehemently nods in agreement. 

“Please sit,” Jim says, gesturing to the couch. You take the seat next to Brian, farthest away from the blonde headed drummer who’s still looking at you with a shit-eating grin on his face. Once everyone settles in, the meeting begins. 

“Let’s go over what you both will be required to do before you guys rip each other’s throats out,” Jim says quite seriously. 

“Question,” Roger interrupts as he raises a hand in the air. Jim sighs, exasperation evident in his face. 

“Yes, Roger?” 

“How long is this going to be a thing?” 

“For at least several months––just until both your albums drop.” 

“That’s in nine months!” Roger exclaim. 

You roll your eyes before flashing him a mocking grin. “Wow, you can do basic math!” 

“Bitch!”

“Dick!”

“Guys!” Anne yells. You grimace apologetically, not before sending Roger one final glare.

“We have an interview already set up for Roger next week where the interviewer will ask about your new relationship.”

“You will also be accompanying the band during their stay at Ridge Farm while they record their album. As you already know, Y/N will be a feature artist on one of your tracks.”

“We have dates where you’ll be seen and pictured out in public, but you can choose the location. And obviously, you guys will have to be seen at parties together.”

“You’ll also have to stay at each other’s flats some nights, so the paparazzi can get photos of you both coming out of each other’s apartments.”

Even though Anne had already briefed you on what this whole fake dating situation would entail, you’re still taken aback at the conditions and what you’re going to be expected to do. 

After everything’s explained and the contracts are signed (an excruciating three hours later), you get up to grab a bottle of water from the counter.  Anne and Jim discuss whatever it is they’re talking about in the corner of the room. Freddie, John, and Brian joke around in the corner next to the soundboard. 

Roger saunters over to you.

“I have one condition about this whole fake dating thing,” he says quietly in your ear. You rest your weight on one leg and raise your brows for him to continue. 

“You can’t fall in love with me,” he says with a smirk and a mischievous glint in his eyes. You scoff, pushing past him with a hard shove to his shoulder. 

“In your dreams, Taylor,” you call back before joining the other’s conversation. 

 ––––––

As you walk out of the studio, pressed up against Roger’s side, you’re met with a barrage of paparazzi and cameras flashing in your faces, specifically focused on your joined hands. 

ARE YOU GUYS RECORDING A SINGLE TOGETHER?

ARE YOU TWO DATING?

WHEN DID YOU MEET?

You ignore the interrogation and simply offer them a strained smile, trying your best not to snatch your hand out of his grasp. He seems to be the doing the same. 

This is going to be a long nine months.

NEXT CHAPTER: PART TWO 

Permanent taglist:

@thefirstkillerqueen @hysterical-queen-trash @clara-who @ladycataztrophe @ghost-in-love @blondecarfucker

*Also since I’ve been gone for so long, and you no longer want to be on my permanent taglist, just send me a message (I won't be offended). :)

[carriagelamp]

February 2020 Book Review

The Last Wish / Sword Of Destiny

Let’s start with the books that currently have me in a stranglehold. I apologize to everyone that actually follows me and watched me descend into fandom pits but whatcha gonna do. So, I was aware of the video game when it came out, but not being a prolific gamer I was intrigued but never bothered getting into it. Then the Netflix series came out, and I was again intrigued... but I suck at sitting down and watching shows. So what the heck I decided, it’s probably mediocre hypermasculine high fantasy but let’s try a book to see what the fuss is all about.

Good god. Guys. It’s real good. And so fucking different from the show. Geralt is actually a really emotional, well-meaning guy who’s starved for positive social interactions and is just trying to do his best. And the books’ consistent themes of colonialism, environmental destruction, forced extinction, and changing eras is... chilling and fascinating and honestly a little too relatable at times. These books have made me laugh and shout and frankly sob. Still a little sexist, cause 90s fantasy, but Geralt is so not the gruff, heartless, manly man character I thought he would be. I am so deeply into these and have just cracked the spine of the next book in the series. If you like high fantasy, I can’t recommend these enough.

The Silver Eyes

I just learnt that there were Five Nights At Freddy’s books, and honestly picked this up from the library as a joke for my brother. We’d played the games back when they first came out, and were into the lore, but lbr they’re more of a meme at this point. Anyway, we ended up reading this out loud to each other, a chapter a night, and I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would. Probably wouldn’t have liked it as much on my own, but the main character was complicated and messy, and the book’s way or portraying trauma was neat. It was nominally horror, and did have the occasional chilling moment, or times it was fun to speculate, it over all it was pretty run of the mill middle grade fiction.

FRNK

Probably the best graphic novel I’ve read this month. 

I was howling with laughter while I read it. Good quality Belgium comics, always a treat. This story is about a modern day boy, Frank, who is accidentally thrown back into prehistoric times, where he’s stuck with a bunch of cavemen who haven’t invented the concept of vowels yet. Admittedly my French isn’t great, so it made trying to decipher words with half the letters missing a challenge to say the least, but plenty worth it. I really want to get my hands on book two. I believe there’s an English translation, and I’d recommend giving it a try.

Best Friends

A neat little graphic novel that addresses common growing up issues, about what it means to be friends, stay friends, how to cope with people changing and when it’s time to walk away. Anxiety, being yourself, fitting in, all that sort of stuff. It’s a quick read, very pleasant, and has nice art.

Karen’s Witch

Another cute graphic novel with charming art. I read this at the store while I was waiting for a prescription to be filled. It’s about this five year old (or thereabouts) who is absolutely determined that her neighbour is a witch and by god she is going to prove it or at least scare herself and her friend silly in the process. A fun little read!

Endling: The First

The second book in the Endling series, and all my praise for the first book apply here as well. A super unique high fantasy that gives extinct and threatened species a voice. The book explore themes of war, environmental destruction, sacrifice and loss. You really get to see how much Byx has grown and how much she needs to continue to grow. This book has me so excited for the third, I haven’t read such an emotionally rewarding quest novel in a long time.

Bleach

I found out my library has a billion books of this series and decided to jump into it again for the first time in over a decade. Honestly it’s even better than I remembered? The art is absolutely stunning, Ichigo is such a power fantasy hero, and it’s one of those series with a lot of really loveable characters and a lot of heart. Ichigo is a good guy who you actually feel good liking, which can’t be said for all shonen protags by any means. This is just such a classic and it holds up man. And if you like manga and have never read it? Jump in and enjoy a normal human getting supernatural powers and kicking absolutely enormous monsters’ asses.

Dinotopia: Sabertooth Mountain

This was my favourite Dinotopia book as a kid, and it was still fun to reread. The world of Dinotopia is one separate from the rest of the world, where humanity lives in perfect harmony with many prehistoric creatures that have managed to survive and evolve on the island of Dinotopia. This story is about a crisis brewing, as the sabertooths are cut off from their food supply and are in danger of not only starving but of bringing death to the rest of the mountain as well. While surveying the situation with his older sister, the main character finds himself falling from the airship in the middle of a storm, directly into the valley of starving sabertooths.

I read a bunch of this author’s graphic novels, and they are such feel-good queer lit. This was probably my favourite of the lot, but I also read Tea Dragon Society, Aquicorn Cove, and Princess Princess Ever After. Taking place in a picturesque mountain community, it’s about a girl meeting a guardian dragon who accidentally fell asleep in the mountains a century ago rather than watch over the village like intended. It’s about coming to terms with and loving yourself (and also about super cute little tea dragons).

Just Jaime

Another story that focuses on the complications of middle school, and how friends can grow and change, and when sometimes friendships become toxic and cruel. These are novel/graphic novel hybrids that are very visually appealing, and really do manage to tell very heartfelt stories. This one takes a side character from the earlier two books, and turns her from a very one dimensional, somewhat annoying character, into a fully realized person with her own issues and her own need for growth.

The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying Up / The Life-Changing Manga Of Tidying Up

Given that I’m not really a non-fiction person and DEFINITELY not a self-help book person, I really enjoyed these (though I didn’t read Spark Joy). I read the manga first, out of curiosity, but enough of it struck true that I decided to try the book as well. Have I cleaned anything up yet? No. But honestly, I can genuinely say that despite being repetitive at points I do truly feel like I got a lot of good out of it, and I feel much more excited and prepared when I do decide to do a big clean next. It really does reframe the relationship you have with your belongings and with yourself. I genuinely love the concept of “sparking joy”.

Bigfoot Boy: The Sound Of Thunder

Technically the last book of the series, whoops. Though honestly having read it I didn’t feel like I missed that much. It’s a Canadian graphic novel and I had... mixed feelings about it. Interesting and exciting in some ways, but the pacing was odd, and honestly I don’t think indigenous voices went into making it (I could be wrong but...) and it reads as kinda... eugh. Problematic. Having a none indigenous author write about a white boy being the guardian of a first nation totem and turning into a bigfoot isn’t a super cool optic.

Bloodchild

I was told “hey this is a really fucked up short story” so I read it, and guess what? It was a really fucked up short story. Would recommend if you want weird alien sex slavery bullshit-- it was a wild ride. And the overall themes obviously went a lot deeper than that, but honestly, it’s like a few dozen pages long if you wanna dig into all the philosophical shit, just give it a read! Uh, heavy content warning, tw tw tw, but a really bizarre, unsettling look at gender and power dynamics and oppression through a scifi lens.

Mrs Frisby and the Rats of NIHM

I hadn’t read this book since elementary school so I reread it on a whim. It really is such a charming story. As far as animal stories go, this feels almost like the platonic ideal. Mother mouse is worried about her sick son and winds up compelled to seek out the mysterious rats who live in the rosebush for help, and is not only thrust into her own adventure but learns about the strange past her late husband shared with the rats of NIMH. It’s such a relaxing read, while still managing to be exciting and compelling.

Exploring According to Og the Frog

And one last animal story to round us off. I’d read one of the Humphrey books last month, and check out a couple more from the library for fun. I didn’t enjoy Mysteries According to Humphrey that much, but this one was charming, showing the world through Humphrey’s frog friend Og instead. The same charming type of adventure, but being a frog, Og has a very different attitude and view of the world, which was fun. Very cute elementary kid lit.

[bri-rog-deak-fred]

The Night Comes Down

@mirkwoodshewolf said to bri-rog-deak-fred:

Hi-hi! So I've been binging your series love it btw. And I can't wait for more. So I noticed you have requests open so I thought I might give you a prompt. How about reader is the 5th member of Queen, it's during their first tour and while she does like seeing new places, she can't help but feel homesick while on the road. She tries to put on a brave face but our guitarist sees right through her (she could've been with Smile b4 Fred joined) and he goes to talk to her. And since he's been in(love with her from the beginning, he tries to help her out as best as he can with comforting her. Even tells her that there is one thing from home that she'll always have which ends up being his way of confessing his love (cheesy and kinda stupid I know but call me cliche) and reader (who has loved Bri as well but never though he'd go for her) admits her feelings for him. Hope you can do this my darling, if not it's fine. Keep up the good work and can't wait for the next update of good company

 Note: I loved this!! Thank you for the brilliant request! I hope I did it justice! I just love love confessions so badly ugh. Anyways, enjoy! There’s some smoking mentioned and swearing but eh, it was the 70’s! 

The tour was fantastic. New cities and faces every night, loads of fans and crazy after parties. Wild wasn’t even close to explaining it for you. It was a dream, touring with your band, Queen. Even before Freddie had joined and taken over, it was just you, your friend Brian and his close friend Roger.

You had met Brian through auditioning for his band, Smile. One night while you were trudging back to your dorm room after studying all day, you noticed a paper stapled to the wall outside the dormitory door. It was a band audition slip, saying they had a good sound and wanted like-minded people to play some rock and roll for fun. You stopped and bit your lip, thinking about your guitar back in your dorm. You quickly yanked the paper off the wall and shoved it into your bag. Though Smile had a guitarist already it said, you thought maybe you had a chance. Music came easily to you, so maybe you could easily transfer to another instrument if need be.

The day came, and you were quite nervous, not knowing a thing about who would be there or about the band. You gathered your guitar case and your song book and made your way across campus to a building you hadn’t been to before, and found the room that auditions were being held in. A boy with shaggy blond hair stood outside the door of the empty conference room, holding a pair of drumsticks. You swallow hard, suddenly more nervous than before. You crack your knuckles, hearing a quiet laugh and a “Tsk” You look up and see the boy looking at you and your guitar case. “Nervous?” He asked, voice a little gruff but higher than you expected. His baby blue eyes were entrancing and you had to literally shake yourself out of staring.

“Oh… uh, a little.” You say sheepishly, readjusting your guitar case, clearing your throat.

“I heard he already has someone playing guitar.” He said, eyes looking to your case.

You shrug, feeling more anxious by the moment. “I sing too.”

The boy seemed satisfied with your answer before sticking out his hand, free of drum sticks. “I’m Roger. Roger Taylor.” He introduced himself with a wink and a devilish smile.

You couldn’t help but feel your heart lurch a little. “Y/N L/N.” you took his hand and shook it, before the door to the auditioning space opened. A kid with a wearable piano left with a rather upset face. A very tall boy with dark curly hair that you could tell was partially straightened, followed after him with a little clipboard. You watched as the piano boy left, huffing as he scuffled passed. You felt your mouth open a little, forgetting why you were there or who the beautiful boy with the wave brown hair was. He looked up and his hazel eyes found yours, before he looked to the boy known as Roger with the drum sticks.

“Roger… Meddows Taylor? You’re next.” He gave him a kind smile, before he looked to you. “You’re up after Roger.” He said politely, before both of them had gone into the room, closing the door. You let out a slow sigh and felt yourself sit against the wall, practicing some vocal warm ups, heart panging wildly in your chest.

 -

 You nailed the audition, of course. When you met Brian May, you felt nervous at first, unable to get over his charming crooked smile and how kind his voice was. After you introduced yourself and joked with him for a moment, you relaxed completely. He was a little worried, since you also played guitar and he was the original guitarist, but once you sang for him and told him you could also play some piano, he didn’t seem all too worried. He even had you harmonize with him, and found that your voices sounded great, almost ethereal together.

 From then on, you, Brian, Tim, and Roger were the faces of the band Smile. After sometime, Tim left, leaving you all bass less and without a lead singer, which is when your friend Freddie had come along and upturned everything. You had also found John Deacon, a shy boy who was at least a year or two younger than you, playing a very funky bass, leading to the birth of Queen.

 Now here you all were, a major success and touring across the country, heading to reaches of the world you never thought you’d be able to see. Thrilling, to say the least. But it was a long journey and you had longed for your quiet room and your own blankets and some alone time. You missed being able to take a break and sit back and breathe, but the tour was so fast pace, your feet could barely touch the ground.

 -

 It was late, the road seemed never ending. You couldn’t seem to sleep, feelings of home lingered in your mind and wouldn’t let you rest. You got up from the side couch you were trying to sleep on and began to pace quietly, mind over thinking. You rub your eyes and decide to grab your journal to write and doodle, hopefully getting your mind off of it all.

 You sat and began to write your feelings out on the page, feeling your demeanor slip. Tears filled your eyes as you wrote “I just want to go home” on the page. You bury your head in your arms, being as quiet as you could so you didn’t wake the four sleeping boys who were mere feet away from you. You fell asleep at the table, tears drying to your cheeks.

You suddenly felt a hand touch your shoulder and you jumped, quickly slamming your notebook closed. You looked around, seeing that it was dawn and the sky outside the window was a light purple, graduating down to a warm tangerine orange as the sun began to make its presence known. You felt your back ache and you yawn, looking up to see who had woken you. You look up and see a very sleepy Brian, eyes droopy and hair a wild mess. The longer you all were on tour, the longer his hair got and the more curly it seemed to get as well. You thought that maybe it was where he hid all of his creativity.

“Y/n, what are you doing over here?” He asked, yawning. You look up to him and wipe your swollen eyes.

“I couldn’t sleep last night, thought maybe I would try to work on a few songs but I guess I fell asleep.” You let out a soft giggle. Brian smiled to you, noting your red rimmed eyes. Even now, half asleep and startled did he think you were beautiful as ever. “Why are you up so early?” You ask. “Road got bumpy and Roger was snoring too loud.” He shrugged and yawned himself. He sat down across from you at the table. “Excited for tonight?” He asked. You had forgotten that you were all still touring and playing your music for a moment. Your heart jolted at the idea of playing on stage, reminding you why you had begun all of this in the first place.

“Yeah, as always.” You answer honestly, but your voice sounded not so enthusiastic.

Brian bit his lip, hoping you were just tired. “You okay, love?” He asked. He could sense your uneasiness and hoped to pry an answer from you. He hated seeing you so melancholy. Lately, it seemed that’s all you ever were when you thought he wasn’t looking.

You meet his eyes and then you look back out of the window. “I’m fine, Bri. Sleeping on this bloody bus is going to be the death of me though.” You say, rolling your eyes. You didn’t want Brian to get worried about you for anything. Brian quirked an eyebrow and played with his white painted nails, seeing right through your lie. He didn’t want to pick an argument though. Not this early. “I know what you mean.” He let out a hollow sigh. “It’ll be over soon. I hope you’re having fun with us though. I know I’m really happy to have you along. We couldn’t have done this without you.” Brian admitted. “Sorry we haven’t been able to talk, just us.”

“We’re talking now, Bri. Besides, I’d much rather talk to you alone at my flat or at that book shop you like. Some place other than here. Right now, we’re ‘Working’. It’s hard to get a minute to yourself even.” You look to your note book, secretly wishing you were alone with Brian back at home, and not on a crowded, semi-over heated tour bus full of stinky boys and the occasional groupie or two.

You shake your head. “You’d all be fine without me here.” You chuckle and roll your eyes,

“Not true.” Brian shot you a glare and you stick your tongue out at him, before laughing quietly.

“SHUT UP YOU WANKS!” You hear Roger shout from under the blankets he was currently pulling over his head. 

You snort a little, looking over your shoulder, watching John stir a little, his face contorted from Roger’s yelling. Freddie was still dead asleep, leg sticking out in the middle of the aisle. You watch as Brian gets up and stretches his arms above his head. “Since we have down time, I’m going to read that book you gave me. You know, you can always talk to me…about anything. Right?” Brian’s face was solemn but his eyes were kind and inviting. You almost wanted to break down and cry right then and there, but you smiled greatly instead. “I know, you dork.” Your cheeks find the peachy color of a blush and you look away, butterflies churning in your stomach from Brian’s friendly kindness.  He ruffled your already messy hair as he stiffly walked back to where he had been sleeping. You look to your journal and feel the longing feeling pull at your chest.

For a moment, you look to where Brian was laying, watching him as he lazily turned the pages of a book you gave him right before you had left on tour. A warm sense of home came over you as you watched Brian and yet again, you felt sad. You wished it could be just you and Brian in that bed, talking nonsense for hours like you had at home.

 Domestic, you thought and scoffed. Besides, you knew Brian only liked you as a friend and band mate. And he had a girlfriend, you only had to assume. How could he not? You shuffled back to your little bed area and laid down, pulling the blanket up to your nose and you watched the sunrise as the dull movements of the bus rocked you back to sleep.

 -

 The show that night was fantastic. Everyone was dazzling as always. You had even found a few peanuts in your hair from Deaky throwing them at you and Brian from across the stage. While the boys hung around back stage, talking to groupies and fans, you sighed and quickly got your own things packed up, feeling rather drained and exhausted.

 You were in the middle of brushing out your hair inside your shared dressing room, when a knock came from the door. You turn and saw Roger with a girl in short blue jeans and a bikini top hanging around him. “Y/N, love. We’re heading out. Get your jacket on, let’s go.” He said, closing the door before you could even tell him no. You wished you could rub your eyes, but now that you were all covered in stage makeup, you couldn’t. You tossed your hair back, plastering a fake smile on your face and decided to go with them. 

In the smoke filled room of some club Freddie had gathered everyone at, you sat, jacket still wrapped around your frame. God, how you wanted to be at home sleeping. You sat in a booth with all of your bandmates, watching as they all had their drinks and slowly got more and more drunk, laughing and smiling with each other. You sat quietly, nursing a beer.

 You played with the rim of the bottle, resting your head back and closing your eyes, feeling your lip quiver.

“Fuck this.” You whisper and suddenly get up, feeling a tug to your hand. You shot a nasty look to whomever was touching you, before your gaze softened. Brian looked to you, confused and worried.

“Sorry, I thought you were some random person… I’m getting something stronger. Want anything?” You lie, wishing to shake him off so he would have fun.

“What? No, I’m good. Are you alright? Is something wrong?” He asked, getting ready to stand.

“Yeah, I’m great Bri!” You smile a little too hard. He noticed and began standing even more. You pushed his shoulder down, causing his tipsy self to sit back down. He furrowed his brow at you, but you ignored the look. “I’ll be right back! Promise!” You smiled to him, squeezing his hand before you let it go and walked towards the bar.

 After you knew he wasn’t watching you, you made a b-line for the back door. You walked out into the alley way behind the bar, smelling foul garbage and vomit and maybe a splash of gasoline. You pull your jacket tight around you, thankful no one else was out there. Once the door fully closed, all you heard was the pulsing beat of whatever music was playing inside mixed with the sweet atmospheric silence of a chilly night.

Your hand shook as you dug around in your pocket, finding a box of cigarettes and your lighter, pulling the white fiend from the box and holding it with your teeth as you flicked the flame and inhaled until it was lit. You took a few puffs before you lost your composure, feeling your walls crumble to the ground as tears and absolute dread came from within. 

You try to stay as quiet as possible, leaning back against the wall, hand covering your eyes as you cry and hit your cigarette. Suddenly the door you were standing next to opened and you jumped, almost dropping your cigarette. Brian had followed you to the back-alley and now here he was, watching you sob.

“Y/n?” He asked, rushing to your side. You knew you couldn’t lie now. “Oh, love. What happened? Did someone hurt you? Are you okay?” He asked, checking you over for any injuries or cuts before pulling you into his chest, hugging you tightly. You cried for what seemed like ages, unable to find the words in your throat.

“I’m just a little tired.” You say softly, voice breaking a little. You take a long drawn of your cigarette and extinguished it on the side of the building, before you out int back in your pocket.

“Y/N, I know you better than that.” Brian said, furrowing his eyebrows. “What’s wrong?” He asked again, voice gentle. The silence of the world around you was enough to suffocate you.

“I’m just… I-I wanna go home. I want to go back home.” You began, feeling your breathing grow heavy as more tears flowed from your eyes. “I’m done with the tour… I can’t do this anymore, Brian I have to go home.” You say against the fabric of his shirt, face pressed to his chest. You felt bad for getting it wet with your tears.

“The tour will be over before you know it, and then we’ll be at home. I know how you’re feeling.” Brian tried to comfort you, his skilled fingers rubbing your back gently as you slowed your breathing.

“I sound so selfish.” You laugh a little. “This is our dream. My dream. Why do I hate it so much?” You hiss.

Brian let out a sigh, feeling sorry for you, wishing he could take away all that was troubling you.  Minutes passed before you settled to a point where you couldn’t cry anymore but you still felt so lonesome and homesick.

“Think of it like this.” He began, standing you straight in front of him. His thumbs gently rubbed the tears and makeup running down your cheeks. “You are home. With me and Fred and Rog… Deaky. We’re doing what we normally do, right? Play music, goof around, talk nonsense. Just all in new places.” Brian smiled a little, causing you to do the same.

“I do like the change of scenery, sure. I just… I don’t know why I feel so anxious.” You shake your head.

Brian’s eyes look over your face again and again trying to take away all the hurt. “As long as you’re with me, you’re home, alright? You’ll always have one thing from home, no matter where you go and that’s me. I’ll always be here for you, sweetheart.”

You felt a rush of relief, not noticing how much Brian had actually cared for you. I could be anywhere in the world, millions of miles away from my flat, but as long as I’m with you, I feel at home, Y/N. You’re a great comfort to me and your company is truly the best I’ve had.” Brian began to blush and your hands shook. Maybe you were dreaming.

“Truth is… I fancy you, quite a lot actually. But you’re also my best friend. I wouldn’t want to be so forward as to say I love you, but Y/N, I love you. When I’m with you, I’m home.” Brian says, gaining all the courage of a lion, perhaps.

You felt your cheeks burn and your eyes tear up again. “Oh… I’m sorry! I didn’t mean… I’m sorry Y/N. I didn’t mean to upset you even more. A complete idiot I am.” Brian began to panic, seeing your tears again.

You chuckle, wiping the underneath of your eyes. “No Bri, shush.” You pull him into a hug again. You could feel his hesitation, so you grabbed his arms and wrapped them around your waist for him. You held him so tightly, closing your eyes. “I love you too, Brian May. So so much.” You say, fingers gripping his shirt. You sniffle and smile up to him.

“Oh god… You don’t have to say it because you feel bad or-“ He began before you tugged on his shirt collar, pulling him down until his lips crashed into yours. For years you had wondered what it would be like to kiss him, but never had you thought it would be as amazing as it was.

 Even the Big Bang was small compared to the feeling of kissing Brian. You pull away after a few moments, cheeks burning bright. Your hand found Brian’s cheek, holding his face for a moment. “Thank you.” You whispered and hugged him greatly again. You felt him laugh under your head as he rested his face on the top of your hair.

“I’m always here for you, my love.” He said sweetly and held you tightly as the night fell down around you, feeling more at home than you had all tour long.

[alexsfictionaddiction]

Alex Recommends: March Books

I’ll begin with the obvious and say that a LOT has changed since my last recommendations post. I am putting together two blog posts related to COVID-19. One will centre around pandemic fiction and the other will be full of feel-good reads, so whether you want to read books that relate directly to our current situation or you want to escape it, there will be something for you at some point next week. 

As for me, my anxiety has been very bad over the last couple of weeks and as a result, my reading pace has slowed somewhat. I always find it hard to focus when I’m stressed so I’ve been hiding away with Disney+ (the best purchase I’ve made in a long time) for most of the last week. I am struggling with the uncertainty of when I’ll kiss and cuddle my boyfriend and friends again so I have been crying a lot. However, I have been reading a little more over the last few days, so I still have some new book recommendations for you. 

These are incredibly strange and scary times that we’re living in right now but I hope you’re all following the guidance and staying safe! -Love, Alex x

FICTION: The Two Lives of Lydia Bird by Josie Silver

I absolutely adored Josie Silver’s One Day In December last year and I was delighted to learn that she’d released another book. When her fiance Freddie dies in a car accident, Lydia’s life is naturally in pieces but she discovers that when she takes a certain sleeping pill, she can cross over into another version of her life where Freddie is still alive and well. Switching back and forth, Lydia knows that this cannot go on forever and eventually she will have to choose which version is truly right for her. This is another highly emotionally-charged novel from Josie Silver, who is a master at writing adorable romance and characters who take a long time to leave your head. Get the tissues on stand-by!

NON-FICTION: Inferno by Catherine Cho

I am making a point of trying to read more non-fiction this year because I’ve never felt like I read enough of it. Inferno is the memoir of a young Korean-American woman’s battle with pre and post-partum psychosis. It’s not something I knew very much about before but I am constantly trying to educate myself on mental health conditions -particularly those that aren’t often talked about. Inferno definitely ticked all of those boxes for me and I’m so glad I read it. It’s an incredibly intense, detailed and moving account that reflects not only Catherine’s psychosis but also on motherhood, retaining a sense of self and understanding how that self fits into society. Hugely informative and beautifully written, I struggled to put it down.

MIDDLE-GRADE: Winterborne Home For Vengeance and Valour by Ally Carter

April isn’t like the other kids in the children’s home because her mother is coming back soon, despite having had 11 different foster homes in the last nine years. She has no idea how she ended up at Winterborne House, the home of a billionnaire who disappeared years ago and is now being used to house helpless ‘orphans’ like herself. She does have a key though. A key that her mother left her with and that bears the same pattern as the Winterborne family crest -but what on Earth does it open? This is the first in a new middle-grade mystery series that combines elements of Tracy Beaker and Wells and Wong. I can’t wait to get back to this loveable cast of diverse characters!

YA: Grief Angels by David Owen

Grief Angels is the heartbreaking contemporary story of Owen, who has recently lost his dad and moves to a new town with his mum. There he meets Duncan, who he gradually forms a beautiful friendship with. But Owen is having very vivid ethereal hallucinations of a strange forest, where he must go on a journey to find his inner peace. This is one of the most stunning YA novels I’ve read in a long time and I was so invested in both strands of the narrative. As well as dealing with deeply serious subject matter, there is also plenty of exploration of teenage male friendships and an ending full of hope.

THRILLER: The Guest List by Lucy Foley

Having devoured Lucy Foley’s previous thriller The Hunting Party, I knew I’d probably do the same with this one. On a remote island off the Irish coast, power couple Jules and Will are getting married and they’ve invited 150 of their nearest and dearest to celebrate. So when someone ends up dead, which of the well-wishers doesn’t... well, wish them well? There’s a definite Agatha Christie vibe in the claustrophobic setting, suspicious characters and sinister atmosphere. It’s a slow-burning, heart-in-mouth mystery with plenty of unguessable twists that you’ll wolf down in no time.

[dear-soulmateau]

24 February 2020

So this is...odd? It's an idea. Not MY idea, but it's an idea. So obviously I'm not Camille. I actually met her recently. Not to quote Good Mythical Morning, but let's talk about that?

So I met Camille back in January. I was new to the school (still am I suppose) and didn't have any friends. She came boppin' on over with this determined look on her face. She stuck her hand out and introducuced herself. I was hesitant to take her hand and she said "I'm not forcing you to shake my hand. This is a proposition of friendship...choose wisely". I thought she was insane, so naturally I took her hand.

Anyway, I asked her for reading material two days ago and she handed me her phone. Told me to read her posts. Today I asked her for something to do and she told me to write to my soulmate. She's so strange! Makes me wish she was my soulmate. She isn't though...we've already confirmed. You see, I have a mental link with my soulmate. You already knew that though...

You. Let's talk about you. Today you gave me middle school flashbacks. I didn't recognize the song at first. I knew it sounded familiar, but I didn't know why. It wasn't until the line "the was my fox friend feels" that I realized it was a Five Nights at Freddie's song. Are you alright? Why are you regressing? It didn't stop there. For awhile you had so modern stuff stuck in you head. There were some musicals, obviously. Then you started thinking this twist version of a song made for the Warrior Cat series. I had to look that one up...it was a Bliximi song, but it was in a minor key and you kept making it more and more distorted. Again, are you alright? Shortly after you went back to Dear Evan Hansen. You haven't listened to that one in while.

I suppose I should tell you what I've been working on so that you know where all my future fame and fortune comes from. Hah? Hah. I'm working on an app that will be able to decipher songs based on lyrics or tune. One it's complete it should have access to infinite songs. Users will be able to sing or type up songs stuck in their soulmates heads and learn what the songs are. That much is currently being beta tested by a friend of mine! His name is Axel. Also not my soulmate... I'm planning to set up and log and scan option as well. This will allow users to keep track and compare song lists with others. Soulmates will find each other quicker!

That's all I really have to say for now...

- From Peter

Hi! Message from Camille!

Meet Peter! He just moved from the UK. He told me exactly where, but I already forgot... Anyway, he now has access to my account. You might hear from him from time to time. If love to get Margot or Heather to write...but they don't want to :(

I didn't write to you in Valentine's Day...I've been busy. Rehearsal, Valegrams (a neat tradition my school has), and work. When we meet, I'm going to sing to you. I promise.

I'd rather not double the length of this post...so you're gonna have to wait for more. Apologies, Love. Until next time!

Love, Camille ~ <3

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #205

forget picking song lyrics, i’m going the hell to bed now.

Do you live by yourself? I live with my mom. Do you like cleaning? Does anyone???? Who is your favorite character from Harry Potter? I've never watched the series; not even a single movie, actually. So I don't have an opinion. Do you watch PewDiePie? Extremely rarely. He's funny, but I'm not interested in his channel's content anymore. Do you like "Despacito?" My sister showed it to me once when she learned I'd never heard it, and I found zero appeal in it whatsoever. Do you play Pokemon Go? It's a brilliant idea, and I really do wish I could play it, but here where I live, there are like ZERO PokeStops (where you get Pokeballs), even in cities, so it's pretty much impossible. Did you ever color your hair pink? No. Do you like Dr. Phil? I don't watch the show and don't know him as a person. Do you prefer to be inside or outside? Inside. Do you eat meat? Sadly. I'm HOPEFULLY quitting when I get to the weight I want; I wasn't getting the nutrients I needed when I was vegetarian to where my body was desperately clinging to what it had or something like that (basically, my weight wouldn't budge in a couple of months), but even still, I don't know if I could do it without depriving myself again. I'm just such a picky eater. Do you need to do the dishes? Yeah. Not desperately, but. Are you scared of clowns? No. Do you have any subscribers on YouTube? *checks* A very impressive 66. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. Do you salt your popcorn? Yes. Do you like McDonald's? Don't even lie to me, you'll eat there. I don't mind it at all. Do you have a Steam account? Yes. Do you like gaming? Not as much as I used to, but yes. Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy’s? No. I don't consider jumpscares to be genuinely "scary," but rather a natural reaction to surprise, but FNAF's are intense, and I know they'd have me jumping like crazy. That aside, the games aren't of my personal appeal to actually play (though it's a fun game to watch). Do you like horror movies? Yes. Do you like chicken nuggets? I love me my chicken nuggies hunty. Have you ever tried Akinator? Yes. Can you twerk? I don't know and don't care to. Do you like dabbing? It looks stupid to me. The meme of it makes me laugh, though. What was the last country you visited? I've never left the country. Do you know your phone number? No, actually. It is incredibly difficult for me to memorize sequences, and besides, it's not like I give out my number almost ever. Do you swear in front of children? No. What’s your opinion on Brexit? Shit, I don't even remember what it's about. So obviously I can't have an opinion. It doesn't affect me, anyway. If you want children, what are some of your reasons for wanting them? N/A When you cook a dish that has beans in it, do you prefer to use canned or dry beans? I don't cook, and you'll never see me willingly eat a bean. What were some fun experiments you did in science class as a kid? The two that sharply stand out to me are dissecting an owl pellet in elementary and a frog in middle school. Both were SO cool. What was the last strong emotion you felt? Excitement. After finishing a bowl of cereal, do you drink the leftover milk? Only ever if it's Cinnamon Toast Crunch that I ate. And even then, only sometimes. Do you use dry shampoo between washes? No. What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done? Overdosing. What’s the most severe allergic reaction you’ve ever had to something? Nothing severe, besides pollen allergies flaring up. What’s your favorite sub-genre of rock? Hard. Who was the last person to get frustrated with you, and why? Mom, but she was more than frustrated. We were having a serious fight about her attitude towards Dad and his wife. What’s something that makes absolutely zero sense to you? Anti-vax shitlords. What’s your phone background? Lock screen is Darkiplier, home screen is Sara kissing my forehead. :'> Have you ever lived with someone you didn’t get along with? No. Do you have a fitness tracker? No. What types of animals have you had as pets? A billion cats, dogs, snakes, lizards, rats, gerbils, guinea pigs, rabbits, fish, box turtles, hermit crabs... and probably more. How well do you understand economics? Have you ever taken an econ class? Not well at ALL. I had one my senior year. What was the last fruit you ate? I had two bites out of a watermelon 'cuz I was really hungry, but we didn't really have anything as a snack. (I fast daily, so I have to watch when my meals are.) I'm not a big watermelon fan, but I hadn't tried these cubes before, and at least it was something. Can you remember your first day of school? I believe I can very faintly... very faintly. I think I had a complete breakdown because of my insane separation anxiety regarding my mom, or it was the complete opposite... alskdfjaweiajr it's like I can kinda see it in the back of my head, but it's super blurry. What’s your favorite movie? The Lion King. It was my favorite as a kid and became so again as an adult just truly acknowledging how damn good and meaningful it is. Plus the soundtrack was a banger. Would you rather jump out of an airplane or go scuba diving? Scuba diving. Do you get bored looking at other peoples’ holiday pictures? Eh. If it's a whole lot, yes, but as a photographer, I enjoy noting which ones I like and why I favor them. Do you give money to charity? Not currently, no. I have no money to give. When I do have a paying job, I plan on definitely donating any time Mark does a charity stream. Are you more into music or movies? Music, easily. When was the last time you went to a swimming pool? WOW. It's been years. Either when I still lived in the apartment or once at Colleen's in-laws', I can't remember which was last. Would you rather have a pet snake or a pet turtle? I have a snake, and I'll take another for sure. Have you ever seen a band live? Who was the last you saw? Just Alice Cooper. Ma and I are seeing Ozzy next year (if the poor man ain't dead), tho!!!! And he's gonna be with Judas Priest and Megadeth. We are NOT going to survive. Do people who use massive amounts of emoticons annoy you? Yes. Emojis, more specifically. If you're writing a sentence and you use an emoji after each and every goddamn word, it drives me up a wall. What was the last clothing item you bought? Underwear, I believe? Or a bra? What does your washing powder smell like? Idk. Normal? Do you have a dishwasher or do you do dishes by hand? By hand, which I cannot explain how much I loathe. It feels disgusting. Are there any cobwebs in your room? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever used a pick-up line and had it work? Ew, I'd never use one to begin with. Have you ever entered a modelling competition? Would you? No to both. The current modelling industry is so, so harmful. Did you keep any drawings/stories from when you were younger? Like around two years ago, I remember going on a mass destruction episode of those super old things, as they embarrassed me horribly, even though I know it had no real reason. Just everything I create embarrasses me. My mom has old school stuff, though. Who did you last have an argument with? Mom today. When was the last time you cooked for yourself? If you include putting things in the microwave with few steps... not that long ago. Maybe two days back. Do you have a safe? Mom does. When was the last time you saw a relative? Mooonths ago when Grammy and her husband were driving through. My brother and his son are visiting real soon, though!! Do you shout out the answers at quiz shows? Yes, lol. Have you ever been in a TV audience? I've been to like three-four hockey games, so yeah. Have you ever entered the lottery? Won anything? No. Well, Mom or Dad would rarely get those scratch-off tickets at random, but the most we've ever got was just like five bucks or so. Do you prefer crosswords or word searches? Word searches. Have you ever drawn on a wall in your house? No. Do you like making collages? No. Have you ever kept a scrapbook? Yeah. What’s your favorite video-game? Silent Hill 2 and Shadow of the Colossus. Sigh, I want a PS4 SO bad to get the SotC remaster. I actually teared up when I saw the opening cutscene for the first time, and I just marveled through the EEEEEEENNNNtire playthrough I watched. It's unbelievable. Do you remember any inside jokes from childhood? Not off the top of my head. I'm tired, don't make me think. Have you ever made up a word? Well, as a writer, I've made up names and places. A word itself, I don't think so. Do you get nervous speaking to people you don’t know on the phone? VERY!!!!!!!! Are you scared of anything irrational? You mean like, half my fears? Do you have a passport? What’s the picture like? No. Have you ever had a full fringe? (bangs) As a kid I did. Is there anything you would never admit to liking? Don't think so. What’s the weirdest craze you can remember? Fidget spinners. Do you use bug spray or fly swatters? Fly swatters. Then we also have this hanging cylindrical sticky... thing that flies and gnats are apparently attracted to with the smell, I guess. Works like magic, though I agree it's pretty cruel. Just stuck there until you die. Are you a clumsy person? Boy, am I. Do you have tiled floors in your house? In three rooms. Do you listen to any movie soundtracks regularly? No. Do you bruise easily? Way too easily. Like normally something simple won't leave behind an obvious one, but even a normal poke in the arm hurts a lot and leaves the spot sore for a good while. I was tested for anemia, but apparently, I don't have it. What would you love to learn to do? Play the electric guitar. Do you prefer monkeys or lemurs? Ehhh... lemurs as far as cute goes, monkeys overall. Do you watch movies based on the actors or the movie plot? The plot. Do you have any phone charms on your mobile? No. What is your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? That's a big 'ole honkin' nope. Last time you puked from drinking? Never. Have you ever gotten drunk and danced on a bar? No. What is your favorite simple ice-cream flavor? Vanilla. Though sometimes I prefer chocolate. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages? Only for dinner. I forgot the science behind it, but one of my meds for bipolarity only works to its full effect after ingesting at least 350 calories; I only get about a 20% effectiveness of the medicine when eating less. I know it sounds weird, but my psychiatrist is a goddamn genius, and I trust every word that comes out of his mouth. When was the last time you slept on the floor? Two years ago when I was living with Colleen and I didn't have a blow-up mattress yet. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? When???????????????? do I?????????????? not???????????????????????????????????? Do you wear flip-flops? That's pretty much all I wear just about year-round... I remember in 7th grade, one of my teachers asked me about it a lot and I just told her I didn't mind the cold, which was true. Pretty sure she thought I was lying and was too poor to buy new clothes or something, as she gifted me socks one day, which I thought was incredibly sweet. I miss my 7th grade teachers. Best school year. Who was the last person to kiss you on the cheek? Pretty sure my niece Aubree when saying bye. What is your favorite sauce to eat with spaghetti? Normal Prego sauce, I think. Have you ever seen a magic show? A little one as a kid. When was the last time you vomited and why? Months and months ago when I was testing a medication. Quit that shit real fast, as it made me sick so many times. Where do you usually sit when you eat dinner? Uhhh I eat in my bed usually, lmao. We almost never sit at the table. I normally do if Mom's there, though. How often do you get headaches? Ugh, often. Why did you call the last person you called? I was calling back about my job application that I was supposed to hear about yesterday. How many windows are in the room you’re in? Two. Do you have Facebook friends that you’ve never actually met? Yes. When was the last time you had your photo taken professionally? Not since senior pictures, pretty sure. I hated how it came out. I have a lazy eye when I smile, gah. How long does it take you to get to school or work? Currently N/A. Let’s say you had a baby with the last person you kissed? We're both female, so. And neither of us want kids anyway. When was the last time you completely broke down? A couple weeks ago in a totally random and severe panic attack. Do you have someone you can spill your heart out to? Yeah. Is there a person that you would do absolutely anything and everything for? No. I'm not gonna, say, murder someone just because they want me to. What’s something you really want right now? To go and get my tattoo cleaned up by a more professional artist alsdkjfalwei. I got the approximate cost, I just have to wait until I can afford it. This tattoo is so so so important to me and it needs to be perfect. What is your relationship status? Taken. What was the longest time you’ve wasted on a certain person? Not even two weeks lmao. I said yes to dating mostly out of fear of hurting his feelings, and he QUICKLY proved he was NOT for me. Are you listening to music right now? Yeah, my iTunes is on shuffle. Anyone you would like to get things straight with? I wouldn't want to be friends I don't think, but I REALLY want to see Jason one final time to tell him how sorry I am. I recently acknowledged just how fucked up I treated him after the breakup; he wasn't the only one who made mistakes. I sure as hell did. He deserves to hear it badly. I do believe our last talk was a good ending, but I feel me finally admitting that I fucked up would be the perfect one. What was the best thing that happened to you today? Seeing Dad for his birthday. When was the last time you did something for the first time? I talk-talked to some WoW friends a couple days ago, though very very briefly. I couldn't figure Discord push-to-talk out and I ended up panicking lmao. What color are the last new pair of pants that you bought? Black. Is your room clean? I should dust and vacuum, but the latter doesn't currently work. List all the countries you’ve visited.  I've never left America. At what age would you allow your kids to dye their hair? Shit, whenever they wanted tbh. So long they sounded serious about it and it wasn't just a brief episode of "oh this would be cool." Which fast food place do you eat at the most? Hm. Wendy's or Sonic. When was the last time you weren’t lonely? Jesus fucking Christ, who knows. What kind of movies do you like? Horror, fantasy, Disney/kids' films, comedies, rom coms, and emotionally moving ones. Bats are not spooky or are they? They're adorable, omg. Do you think blue is a gay color? Fuck off. What's your opinion on gays? Fuck off harder. Do you like the song "Womanizer"? Don't even talk to me if you don't. Where is your favorite place to get fries? You can't live your fullest life without having Bojangle's fries at least once. Do you know anyone who was raised by their grandparents? Idk. Have you ever made your own pie from scratch? No. Who was the last person you had an in-depth conversation with? Sara. What was the last fast food item you ate? A hot dog. What is your favorite gaming console? You know PS2 was the best, you know it. What was the last major city you visited? Raleigh, if that even counts. Do you always have a stock of alcohol in your house? No. Have you ever had a pumpkin latte and if so, did you like it? I hate everything pumpkin-flavored. Is there an antique store in your town or city? I think so... Have you ever been to a baby shower? My sister's. Maybe others', but idr. Do you know anyone who has been to rehab? Pretty sure yes. How many romantic relationships have you been in so far? Genuinely "romantic" ones, two. Would you consider yourself to be a picky eater? I am 99% sure I am the pickiest human being to ever live. Have you ever lived in a house with a pool in the yard? Not a built-in one. What color is your toothbrush? Blue. Do you have gluten intolerance or know anyone who does? I know a few people. Have you ever slept in a car overnight? No. Have you ever fainted? Yes. Do you avoid conflict as much as possible? YUP. Do you like ice cream cake? I'm not a big fan. Have you ever made out with someone of the same sex? Yes. Where is your second home!? The place I'm second-most comfortable is probably Sara's. What song always makes you sad? I avoid listening to "The Mortician's Daughter" by Black Veil Brides unless I just really, really want to hear it. I always tear up due to memories. Have you ever played a game that required removing your clothes? No. Where is your favorite place to be kissed? Breasts and neck. Were you mean as a little kid? No. Who was the last person you hung out with? Dad. What is your mother’s name? Donna. What is your favorite song at the moment? I've been in true love with a heavy metal cover of "Invincible" from the WoW soundtrack for like a full month. What day will you never forget? The breakup night. Suicide attempt. My niece and nephew being born. Meeting Sara. Getting Teddy. First time hanging out at Jason's. 16th birthday. Alice Cooper concert. Putting Dale and Cali down. There's a lot. What was the last thing you took a picture of? Some crazy shit on FB to show Sara. Something you're looking forward to? Getting a goddamn job. What is God teaching you right now? Lul. What does Notre Dame Cathedral mean to you, and how has its fire affected you? I was devastated to hear about it; it was the one event that actually got me paying attention to the news. It is a monument of incredible art and history, and for Catholics, a house of their god. I am so thankful the damage wasn't too tremendous. What’s the last dumb decision you made that you beat yourself up over? I dunno. Surprisingly. What’s your favorite version of the Bible to read? N/A If applicable, do you underline verses in your Bible? N/A When was the last time you went to church? Not since Colleen had her extreme Christian phase two years ago. What’s the last song you listened to on repeat? "Radio" by Rammstein. That new album's gonna be bangin'. Does your town’s hospital have a good reputation? NOPE. It sure does not. I have no issue with the psychiatric care unit there, though. Every time I went to the ER for suicidal thoughts or the attempt, they were sweethearts to me. But as far as physical health, they do NOT have a good rep. I know someone's grandfather that nearly fucking died thanks to them, and I can't recall what it was exactly, but Mom had some complaints during her kidney cancer treatment. What is your hometown known for? Crime. Are you longing for and missing a toxic person? I honestly miss Colleen sometimes, but I can't go back to her. I can't. I'm done giving her more chances than she deserves. It was nice to actually have someone to hang out with, but she is just overall not a pleasant person. What’s your greatest longing? Financial stability, probably. Have you ever read a Bible verse and thought, “this isn’t true”? BOY HOWDY- What are you behind on? Being an adult. I am 23 and a SOOOOOORRYYYYYY excuse for one. Is there someone who’s stolen from you and never got caught? Yes. Someone stole our basketball hoop from my childhood home. Have you been lonely for most of your life? Most of my life, no. What color is your sleeping bag? I don’t have one. When was the last time you used a sleeping bag, and what for? When I lived with Colleen and slept on the floor for a bit. Do you live near the woods? Yeah, there's woods across the road. What do you want to be for Halloween this year? List 1-3 ideas. I wanna be the dumb blonde witch from Hocus Pocus, lmao. A pastel vampire would be pretty cool. And Rhett from the "Sleep Tight" video has instilled in me the great desire to be a steampunk toothfairy at least once. List five things people have been jealous of you for. Idk. List five things you have felt jealous of other people for. More than anyone, a friend of many friends' photography success when I can genuinely and modestly say I really think I'm better than her. That is easily the worst envy situation I've dealt with (and still do), as this is the one that is actually almost spiteful, wrong as that is. Then I have another friend who is a FANTASTIC photographer as well and is now a professional one in the fashion industry, I believe. Then there was a girl I went to school with called Cailin whose drawing skills were naturally INCREDIBLE since elementary school, and I remember back then, me and her would always get the most attention for our work, but she did moreso, but I wanted to be the "best" artist. Once I hit high school I just had great respect for her talent. Next, one of my former best friends Hannia was a natural GENIUS that got perfect scores on LITERALLY almost anything; she had the highest GPA in the entire school, while I was right behind her. And uhhhh five... I have been and still am jealous of my sisters for being proper, successful adults. What is your favorite shade of brown? Like a caramel tone, I guess? What color is your toilet seat? White. Would you rather live in an apartment or a house? Definitely a house. What’s one thing you had growing up that you miss now? Energy. Do you prefer kale, lettuce, or spinach? Lettuce. Do you listen to instrumental bands such as Hammock, Trentemoller, etc.? No. Have you ever gotten a manicure or pedicure? Just because my sisters went and Mom wanted me to hang out with them. I may have with my old friend, too. Have you ever self-harmed? Yeah. Never the answer. Do you have any eating disorders? No. I'm afraid of developing one once I (hopefully) get to the weight I want, though. Have you ever met a celebrity? No. Do you like Monster Energy or do you prefer other energy drinks? I hate energy drinks. They taste like poison. Do you plan on getting married? Yeah. Do you want kids? That's a big fat nope. What’s your sexual orientation? I don’t judge. Bisexual. At what time of day do you normally feel the best? The morning. Name one reason why someone should not commit suicide. YOU. CAN. GET. BETTER. Seek professional help if you feel suicidal, and after what I understand is a serious struggle, you truly can go into the light at the end of the tunnel. You've got, to our understanding, one shot at this. Don't end it when there is a possibility for a beautiful future. If you’re unhappy, what would it take to make you fulfilled? Have a job and be in school. Name someone you know who is a cancer survivor. My mom. Are you friends with any cancer survivors? I don't think so. Do you wish the sunrise and sunset lasted longer? Hm. Sunset, maybe. Idk. Name a country whose history you know nothing about. Lmao most. What is your favorite store at the mall? Hot Topic. Do you have a bed or do you sleep on a mattress on the floor? I have a bed. When was the last time you went for a run? Shit, not since high school gym. Do you keep Christmas lights up year-round? No. What did you win a scholarship for? Nowhere. What type of bug do you see the most often in your home? Flies. Do you put off things until the last minute? I tend to. Is your mom the same size as you? No, I'm smaller. Do you know any Christians who aren’t judgmental? No shit. Do you still think of that Gwen Stefani song when you spell bananas? Ha ha yup. Do you like the way your hair naturally is, or do you change it? It's fine. But I want it dyed badly. Do you know anyone who died accidentally by doing something stupid? Yes. How many different languages have you taken in school? Latin and German. How tall is your father? (Estimate?) Idk. Over six feet. Would you meet Miley Cyrus if you had the chance? No. What is your favorite slow song? Oh yeesh. Idk. Maybe "See You On The Other Side" by Ozzy. Do you believe in karma? No. Do you constantly check your cell phone? No. Only Sara or Mom ever text me, and I pick it up just if the green light is blinking (means I have a message). If there were aliens on earth, would you be afraid? Well yeah. If you could spend 1 hour 20 years in the future, would you? Yes. I want to see where I am, so long as I can change my behavior to improve that future if needed. Otherwise, I don't wanna know. Are your pets asleep? Teddy probably is, Bentley might be, idk where Roman is, but he likely is, I can't see Mitsu from where I am currently, Venus may be (no eyelids, so you never know) as she's in her rock, and Kaiju is awake. Have you ever wished you were an only child? Never. Have you ever hurt someone on purpose? Yes. Have you ever gotten hurt while sledding? No. Do you enjoy going through old pictures? It depends on the subject of them and my mental state. Kid pictures I'm always up for, high school ones are okay, though they can make me really upset with how healthy and skinny I was, and I deleted all photos I had on Facebook of Jason and me last year so I couldn't even risk looking at them ever again, as there's a good chance some would trigger my PTSD. Of all your exes, who do you think you had the deepest feelings for? Jason, obviously. Do you tend to have a lot of drama in your life? I have the most uneventful, bland life. No. When’s the last time someone was disappointed in you? Idk. What song are you listening to right now? Is this one of your favorite songs? "Alone I Break" by Korn. No, but I love it. What is something you have to explain a lot? My sweating issue. Gross to talk about, but I sweat seriously excessively, like you would not believe. It can be 70 degrees and I'll be sweating in seconds. People worry about it, and in VR, I've had to explain it so many times due to it affecting suitable jobs (I think we can all agree being drenched in sweat at work looks extremely bad). Hopefully I won't have to anymore when my doctor decides what to do about it. It's most likely a thyroid issue, which I have no clue about how to subdue symptoms of. There's really a shitload I have to explain lately between doctors and VR... Which compliment do you receive the most? From those that know me/see me, that I'm losing weight. From people in general, "I love your hair" or something like that. Who were you last on the phone with? My sister. What is one thing you have always wondered? Uh. Idk. I'm sure there's a lot, just nothing's coming to me atm... What do your friends think about the music you listen to? Your family? My friends and I like similar stuff, as do my parents, especially Mom. My sisters are the total opposite of me and don't enjoy metal and the like at all. Has anyone ever told you to grow up? Essentially. Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? Hell no. How many true friends do you have? Excluding family and my girlfriend as they're more than that, like... one or two, it feels like most of the time. Can you honestly say you’re happy right now? No. What is something you are exceptionally bad at? Doing math in my head or spelling up there. AND READING LIPS. Do you have a house phone? No. Who do you love more than anyone right now? Don't make me choose between Mom and Sara. How much money do you have saved up? I literally have $11. Do you like bright/neon colors? Yes, but I prefer pastel. What is your favorite wild animal? Meerkats. Do you ever eat breakfast? I almost always do. Do you remember who your first grade teacher was? Yes. Have you ever won any trophies? What for? Yeah, for A honor roll all through elementary school (save for 5th grade; I got one B and was so upset, lmao), then in all kid sports I played, everyone got lil ones, some from dance I believe, and I think there's one or two others I'm not thinking of...

[brenli]

[28]

Tagged by: @goddamnitkastle​ (YAYAYAY ANOTHER ONE!)

1. how tall are you? 5′3″

2. what color and style is your hair? Dark brown. A couple of stray silver strands. When the light hits it right you can see natural auburn-y red highlights/tones in it, especially near the ends. I wear it long, down to my lower back, usually parted in the middle (sometimes on the left) and with bangs. Usually blunt-cut across my brows, but I'm not as good about trimming them as I ought to be so they usually end up growing out long enough that I need to brush them off to the right.

3. what color are your eyes? Brown

4. do you wear glasses? My cat-eye specs are basically part of my identity at this point.

5. do you wear braces? Nope

6. what is your fashion style? I have contempt for this question that likes of which you cannot believe. XD I guess in the most general sense it's rock-chic. Rock/metal girl elements mixed with glamorous or feminine elements/silhouettes. But this is MASSIVELY boiling down my massive wardrobe and I've certainly had moments of departure from the rock-chic umbrella depending on how I'm feeling. I dislike strictly adhering to specific style labels; I find it stifling.

7. full name? Brenda Lee Larson. My maiden name is cooler to be honest; I only changed it because I was more interested in sharing a surname with the Honey and I know I can still use my maiden name for other things.

8. when were you born? July 24, 1987

9. where are you from and where do you live now? Technically born in Coupeville on Whidbey Island, WA, USA and spent the first 4 years of my life bouncing around different naval stations because my family was about that Navy Life, but the majority of my formative years Spokane, WA, USA so my assumption is that would be more accurately where I'm "from." (Hawaii is where my heart wants to say I'm from though as that's where my earliest memories take place~) After some years spent CA (first in the Bay and then in LA), I'm currently living just south of Seattle, WA. So. Basically I've been wiggling around the West Coast my whole life, including going so far west I ditched the mainland for a spell.

10. what school do you go to? I WORK at a school currently, Cornish. Freelancing as a house manager for 3 of their 4 venues. The 4th one never seems to put on any events that require one of us from the house management roster, otherwise I'd work gigs at that one, too. XD

11. what kind of student are you? Some of you who make these questionnaires clearly cannot think beyond life-after-schooling and it shows. XD I was an above-average student for the vast majority of my years in schooling but I started falling off a little toward the end, largely because I was very keenly aware of what areas of study pertained to me and my interests/goals, and I had no patience for areas of study that did not. I left before it got too bad.

12. do you like school? I liked the parts of school that spoke to me~

13. what are your favorite school subjects? Literature/English was always the major go-to throughout all of my years of schooling. I was in Choir up until highschool; this was when Theatre became available to me and I wasn't able to participate in both, so I parted ways with Choir and focused on Theatre all the way up through my last years of schooling. Other subjects of interest, in highschool: Photography, Psychology, Forensic Science, World History. In college: Creative Writing, Journalism, Japanese.

14. favorite TV shows? The major ones have been racy period dramas The Tudors and The Borgias. I grew up on Star Trek TOS and as such it has a very dear place in my heart despite it not being a racy period drama. XD I also am quite invested in the Netflix MCU with Daredevil and The Punisher being my two favorite shows (Frank is my everything!). More currently I've been expanding my Sanada-san filmography-binge thanks in large part to @anagraves​; I recently finished the 1993 Koukou Kyoushi and am through episode 10 of Konna Koi no Hanashi. What I've been learning from this - Hiroyuki Sanada knows how to break hearts whether he's being soft and vulnerable to cold and cruel and anything in between, but that's exactly why I love him.

INB4 "you post Snow White everything so why isn't OUAT on here" I do enjoy OUAT a lot, but I don't know if I would consider it a favorite show overall. I'm more fond of the earlier seasons than the later seasons and it's that ambivalent feeling I have for the later seasons that make the show not a favorite - but still very good overall.

It's also at this point that I should probably explain what my blog description does not - my blog started running a Snow White-themed queue LARGELY as part of an inspiration-drive for a Snow White AU project that I haven't actually touched in a long time. I REALLY should do something about that; I just keep getting pulled in other directions and now it's years on and here I am with what's basically a Snow White queueblog. XD If I can ever get my dumb head in gear and FINISH what I've started, that would honestly result in the queue being mass-posted and then probably altered to suit whatever the next project would be. That's always been the intention, anyway.

15. favorite movies? While I'm still feeling the chilly gaze of my Snow White queue, my favorite Snow White movie thus far is Mirror Mirror. I think it's massively underrated and that makes me sad.

As far as Disney is concerned, while I have a HUGE amount of respect for Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, my favorite film growing up was Beauty and the Beast (and my Rococo-loving ass does adore the live action remake). Surprise??? XD More recently, Moana is the film of my heart; it's the closest Disney has gotten to making a Princess culturally-relevant to me as a half-Filipina so my tropical islander ass is just utterly enamoured with Moana. ((Listen Disney if you ever decide to make a super fun colorful precolonial Philippine film THE PERFECT PRINCESS EXISTS FOR THAT, I submit for your consideration - Urduja!)

Because of my rather open-door childhood with regard to media, my earliest favorite movies are actually Nightmare on Elm Street and Nightmare on Elm Street: Dream Warriors. Freddy is my Nightmare King Murder Boyfriend and I'm prepared to face judgement for that. XD

Fondness for Star Trek TOS has resulted in an affection for the AOS movies~

But a movie that speaks to me very much is What Dreams May Come.

Currently I've gotten re-ensnared into The Last Samurai, in correlation with the most recent AU project. Because I am hopeless, Grumpy Samurai is Best Samurai, and I've been spending time manically fretting and pretending that because Ujio drops before the gatling guns are brought out, maybe he SOMEHOW managed to survive in SOME way and he can have tons of cool battle scars. Right? ... RIGHT???

16. favorite books? If manga counts then it's Angel Sanctuary. Hands down. No contest. It's easily woven itself into my life in the form of fanfic that is/was well-received within the fandom, and a weirdly HUGE list of AUs that somehow burst out of nowhere. (Currently all of it, AU work included, can be read via my FF.Net account under brenli. I have a placeholder page on AO3 that's currently empty but may end up holding all my content there as well, in time. If I can ever make the time.)

I was and am really into Sue Harrison's Ivory Carver series, particularly My Sister the Moon.

It was part of my middle school/junior high reading curriculum but I honestly DID really like The Diving Bell by Todd Strasser. Even if the cover art of Culca coming up out of the ocean looked A LOT like me and resulted in my class calling me Culca for the entirety of our unit on that book. It's fine. Culca is a badass queen of pearls and seawater so I'm happy to be associated with her~!

Every now and then I remember a book that clearly really resonated with my as a child if I still remember it, but the problem is that I don't remember the title or the author, or even any of the characters' names. It was about a Roma girl who lived in the American south - I wanna say Tennesee? - who was discovered for her talent playing guitar and singing country music. The book essentially details her struggle between her traditional roots as a Roma person, including the arrangement for her to be married young, and her interest in pursuing music as a career but feeling alienated by an industry and a society at large that is wealthier than her and has a different culture from her own. The book ends with her running away but it isn't made clear what her ultimate fate is. To this DAY it bothers me that I don't remember the title or the author because I honestly go through periods where I want to reread it. And yes, this was the kind of stuff I was reading as a child. XD I also read My Sister the Moon for the first time when I was like. 11 years old. If you're familiar with the content of that book then you're aware that certain scenes are really not 11-year-old friendly, but. If I can watch gratuitous 80's slasher horror at age 4 then I can read about a young woman surviving sexual abuse at age 11.

17. favorite pastime? Writing at this rate, honestly. Which probably speaks more to my inner tortured artist than anything else. XD

18. do you have any regrets? I feel like everybody has at least one regret and anyone who says otherwise is either very very young, or lying. XD It's not about whether you have regrets, it's about not letting them hold you in the past.

19. dream job? Telling stories, in any and every way attainable to me.

20. would you like to get married someday? I already am~

21. would you like to have kids someday? Absolutely not. I don't feel like my life is conducive to childrearing, and INB4 "you're never truly ready" and "you make it work" the key factor here is I'm not WILLING to become ready and I'm not WILLING to make it work. That's how I know my life is not conducive to childrearing. XD (I'm at that age where tons of people are asking me this and feeding me words meant to encourage me to consider and it's honestly EXHAUSTING by this point. I can't wait for when I'm menopausal maybe people will finally shut up about it because I'll be past my prime~)

23. do you like shopping? I mean, yes, but I usually avoid it because I'm aware of how impulsive I am.

24. what countries have you visited? I'm tempted to say that Hawaii should count because it's so far away from the mainland. XD But honestly I've never been outside of US territory. It's in the plans to try for Japan during the Tokyo 2020 Olympics. I'm not sure if we'll make that goal but if not, I figure it won't hurt to continue saving up anyway and making a Tokyo trip post-Olympics. Prices will be cheaper post-Olympics, anyway, so~

25. what’s the scariest nightmare you’ve ever had? At the risk of raising weird red flags I've gone through periods where I'll have reoccurring nightmares about being actively pursued by someone who very obviously intends to do harm. It happens often enough that the Honey wonders if I'm mentally suppressing something. XD I did have a standalone dream though, where me and the Honey were asleep in bed and then I become aware that someone's broken into the house and is approaching our bed. I'm walking through every possible option in my head with my eyes shut; if the Honey and I both lunged at the attacker we could possibly overpower them just because it would be two against one. But I know that I can't possibly wake up the Honey and make him aware of the situation without the attacker immediately acting and resulting in at least one of us being injured or killed. I realize that I have no choice but to try and take the attacker by surprise by myself and hope that is enough. I make peace with that. I can feel the attacker leaning over me. I suddenly lunge at them in full primal adrenaline-filled rage.

I wake up.

26. do you have any enemies? I guess that I have a few, yes, but honestly at this point I've gotten probably a little too used to being vilified. Barring physical assault or turning the animosity on innocent third parties in my life, I am prepared to weather the metaphorical lashes.

27. do you have an s/o? I have my Honey~

28. do you believe in miracles? I believe in miracles that aren't the overt surface-level wish-fulfillment-from-above which I think most people expect a miracle to be. I think that sometimes luck plays out via a slim-to-none chance and that can be a miracle. I think that sometimes a person works very hard at something or for something and when they achieve it, that can be a miracle. I think that the butterfly effect is a double-edged sword, but sometimes that little flutter of a butterfly's wings is a miracle.

Tagging: @yacky-jackie​ @halorecoil​ @anagraves​ @benevolentqueenofstars​ @lesbomancy​ @candybunnieholic​ @lemonedscream​ @tinathefish​

[keziacole]

tagged by @bumbleblossoms​ - thank you! 

Tagged Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

THE LAST:

1. Drink: Coffeeeeeee

2. Phone call: My partner, just as they left the dentist. :( 3. Text message: Motherbot 2.0 4. Song you listened to: Been Caught Stealing – Jane’s Addiction 5. Time you cried: Uh… some point in the last couple months, I guess? Not sure when, but it was at something related to dogs. Honestly, I did most of my crying last year, during The Year From Hell, and I’m still a bit dried out.

6-92 under the cut. :)

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: As in getting back together again? Nooooo. 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: …yup. Often. Sometimes not until a long while later, though!   8. Been cheated on: Not to my knowledge. 9. Lost someone special: Yep. 10. Been depressed:  Eh, I’ve never been diagnosed with depression, so no, I don’t think so. Situationally really fucked off with things? Yes. 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Once. Story time, everyone! 

So, I generally have a really good alcohol tolerance and a cast iron stomach (not necessarily for good reasons, but hey), but I did once go to a party that ended very badly. I was about 17, had recently been diagnosed with CFS, and was on a heavy painkiller regimen. I drank when I shouldn’t really have done so, because bullshit and All the Emotional Drama, BUT… I did not know that my friend’s asshole brother had spiked my drink. (He was a peach. Gave his 14 year old brother acid once just to point and laugh at the result. Fuckin’ hated that guy.)

At some point in the evening – somewhere after the sham marriages, interpretative dance, and someone putting someone else through a table, because teen parties – I realised I was wayyy more wasted than I should have been, despite the painkillers, and I ended up spending all night hallucinating and throwing up, plus feeling horrific for about three days afterwards. 

Moral of the story: if you spike people’s drinks, you are a gigantic bag of toe lint and should suffer mosquito bites on your asshole for a thousand years. The end.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12. Purple 13. Red 14. Blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Not yet. Befriend me, tumblr, you’re my only hope.  16. Fallen out of love: No, though I have watched my relationship with at least one family member crumble into dust. Does that count?  17. Laughed until you cried: At least four times a week. Which is one big reason why I’m marrying that motherfucker.  18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yes. See 16. 19. Met someone who changed you: Not yet.  20. Found out who your friends are: Yes, sadly. It sucks when you realise how effectively someone has manipulated the people around you.  21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Nah, I don’t really do the FB thing. I should, I guess?

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: See above. I kind of have a profile, but I only use it to message people I’m related to who are freaking obsessed with Facebook and won’t communicate any other way. Ugh. So… most of them? I guess?   23. Do you have any pets: One dog – Hector, a grumpy and elderly terrier - down from two resident mutts and a boatload of fosters. Older dog died last year, and I’m not in a position to foster right now, which sucks, because I miss having a house full of beasties, not to mention making a difference. 24. Do you want to change your name: Already have done/am doing! I have no real interest in keeping up with more than 80% of the people I’m related to, and I never liked my birth name, plus this is easier to spell and dictate to people, and isn’t known by the abusive assholes in my life. So, yay! 25. What did you do for your last birthday: Ordered pizza and watched favourite movies with my partner. We did The Blues Brothers and shit-talked the progression of police militarisation in the US over the past 30 years, and it was incredibly fun, despite the fact we’re 3000 miles apart right now. Also, they remembered my birthday, which is more than can be said for over two-thirds of the people I’m related to.  26. What time did you wake up: 9am, but in my defence I was up until 3 last night. 

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Talking shit with my partner, knitting an afghan, and watching foster kitten cams and reviews of awful movies together, because these are good ways to help someone who has a dental appointment in the morning try to stay calm. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Getting my current backlog of work finished. Sooo clooose…. Promised myself a movie and gaming binge when I’m done. 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Last week. 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Either having enough money to fix all my problems (yes, in this case, money most certainly can do that), or just being on the same continent as my partner, so we didn’t have this immigration thing to worry about. Not having a debilitating illness that fucks everything up would be pretty awesome, too.  31. What are you listening right now: Freddie King 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yep, many Toms. All the Toms. Well, like, five plus. 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Not knowing whether or not the electrician is going to show up tomorrow, which will mean I need to move the paintings and quilt top I currently have all over the sitting room floor. I’m not done piecing that thing yet. Grr. 34. Most visited website: Lots. Mostly Google, Politico, Reuters etc., but I’m living on eBay right now because I’m trying to sell off a bunch of DVDs, books, and vintage glassware. …Does anyone want to buy some vintage/antique glassware? 35. Mole/s: Yep. I had one removed from my back once. Turned out to be benign (phew!) but I got an interesting scar out of it. 36. Mark/s: I still have a faint surgery scar on my elbow, but it doesn’t look as Frankenstein-y now. Most of my scars have faded, but I still have some weird idiosyncrasies from things that have been broken or busted up. 37. Childhood dream: Writing was always my main thing, but also acting/directing. Illness took that away. Other than that, I always wanted to live somewhere rural with lots of animals, and be happy.  39. Long or short hair: Long. Lots. It’s huge. Send help. I like both on other people.  40. Do you have a crush on someone: Not right now. Give me ten minutes and a new Fet profile to stalk and I’ll get back to you... 41. What do you like about yourself: I’m a creative dynamo and I don’t stop until I fall down. I’m also proud of the fact that I’m a pretty compassionate and patient person, and I like the fact I’m slow to really anger. Someone told me recently I’m a very stabilising influence, and that was nice to hear. I feel like life can use more of that.  42. Piercings: Ears (two left, three right), nose (left). More on the way, maybe, when I can justify it.  43. Blood type: ???? I should check. I know the NHS won’t let me donate blood because of my medical condition, which blows.  44. Nickname: Zia. Some people call me Kez. One person is allowed to call me Admiral Fuckface McAsshole III.  45. Relationship status: Open relationship with my primary partner, technically speaking. Poly is good, but my planner is too cluttered for anarchy.  46. Zodiac: Aries w/ Aquarius moon, Virgo ascendant. I also have Mars and Venus in Taurus, so mooooo. And yes, I did used to do natal charts for beer money. I read palms, too. I’d still do it if asked nicely.  47. Pronouns: They/She. I don’t mind feminine pronouns, because I’m incredibly cis-passing and most people will assume “she”, plus I can live with being labelled female if it’s a binary choice, but I see myself more as a person than a gender, so I love that neutral pronouns are being used so much more now.

FWIW, I considered whether or not I was trans for a hot minute when I was a younger teen, because I used to love passing as a boy when I was a kid (until puberty at nine. Boo.), but for me it was the difference in how I was treated when I passed as male that mattered. It was the difference between “Oh, isn’t he confident and intelligent?” and “Hello, sweetie, don’t you look pretty today?” that affected me, not a real sense of dysphoria, so I decided the problem wasn’t really in how I presented, but in society itself. I have yet to really find a satisfying way of rectifying that, but I think we’re all making progress as a society. It’s very slow progress, sadly.   

48. Favorite TV Show: I don’t watch that many series, but Star Trek (especially TOS and DS9), X-Files (S1/S2), Game of Thrones, old mystery adaptations (all the Agatha Christie ever), Stranger Things, Better Call Saul, Breaking Bad… can’t think of anything else right now, but there are some. 49. Tattoos: One black and grey dotwork spiral goddess on my arm, next one coming soon (watch this space, now I’ve found an artist!) 50. Right or left hand: Ambidextrous. Yes, I can write with both hands. Sometimes, I switch in the middle of the sentence. No, it doesn’t look the same. I can also operate light switches with my toes from a standing position.  51. Surgery: I fucked up my ulnar nerve a couple of years ago by blacking out and falling on some stairs. It was melodramatic, and I lost the use of my left hand. Had surgery to correct it. I was awake but a bit sedated, and spent most of the time talking to the cute anaesthetist about chastity cages. Because... sedated? Yes. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Sadly, he did not call, though I’m pretty sure he did a lot of googling when he got home that night.  52. Hair dyed in different color: Always, since I discovered Olaplex, which means I can actually bleach my hair without it completely frying. Most recently, I’ve had a mermaid fantasy in turquoise, green, and purple, but it’s faded a lot. Not sure what I’ll do next. Maybe orange, or neon yellow again. 53. Sport: I can’t do much without turning blue and blacking out, but I’ve always enjoyed tennis, badminton, swimming, and equestrian stuff. Is hiking a sport? Hiking’s fun.  54. Do you use sarcasm a lot: Um... 

55. Vacation: Last one was to see my partner; next one will be too. So, the woods of NEPA. Hiking out with some granola and my favourite human, and spending a few days playing with shelter pitbulls. <3 Otherwise, I’ve never really been on holiday. I went on a school trip to Germany once where I nearly got arrested and, when I was seven, I went to Malta and there was a hurricane. I remember wedging wet towels into the window frames and hoping we didn’t die, because we were on the twelfth floor and there was nowhere else to go. 

I did go to Norfolk with my mother for four days after her breast cancer diagnosis. Macmillan, a cancer charity that is very worthy of support, granted her a short break. There was a lot of playing dominos and trying to convince her she wasn’t actively dying at that precise moment.

56. Pair of trainers: Converse. All the ratty old Converse low tops in the world. 

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: I have the house to myself right now. It’s awesome. I’m celebrating with homemade shiitake tofu stir fry, wontons, vegetable udon… and doughnuts. Not in the same bowl, though. 58. Drinking: Rum. 

59. I’m about to: Finish a short story, close out an editing project, format a print galley (again. Goddamnit, Adobe.), and try to finalise the running order of a poetry collection. Maybe send some emails, maybe eat the rest of those wontons.   61. Waiting for: The dizziness to go away, usually. 62. Want: The time, space, peace and quiet to focus on my work, and my health to cooperate long enough for that to happen. 63. Get married: As soon as possible, which basically means when we can afford it, because immigration, legal wrangling, and a ton of other bullshit. It’s a headache, but if there weren’t so many technical hurdles it would already be done.  64. Career: I write and make stuff. I’m doing it under a new name now, which is daunting, because it means starting over again, but I’ve spent the past few years doing a lot of genre fiction and being told my original work is “too original”… but I’m ready to say “fuck you” to that and see what I can carve out for myself. Come on, internet: don’t prove me wrong, ‘k? 65. Hugs or kisses: Ooh, tough. Yes? I guess hugs if I have to pick.   66. Lips or eyes: Eyes. 67. Shorter or taller: I honestly don’t care, though I do very much enjoy short subs. Pocket rockets are adorable. 68. Older or younger: It really doesn’t matter. 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Arms, I guess? Doesn’t really matter. It’s all pretty to look at, but who really cares? Arms are best for hugs. 71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive. I don’t like too loud. 72. Hook up or relationship: Define the terms, yo. I’d say relationship, but the definition of “relationship” can be open to numerous things. 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Um… possibly a bit of both, but more hesitant, probably.

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: No. 75. Drank hard liquor: Yup.

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I once dropped a contact lens down the back of a gas fire and spent three hours getting it out with Vaseline on a paperclip. My vision is awful and I wore very expensive gas permeable lenses at the time. 77. Turned someone down: Yup. 78. Sex on the first date: Nothing wrong with it (and nothing wrong with sex being the date), but it’s not for me. 79. Broken someone’s heart: So they said. 80. Had your heart broken: Yes, but not how you might assume. 81. Been arrested: Nope. 82. Cried when someone died: Yep. 83. Fallen for a friend: A couple of times, with varying degrees of success.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: I try to, because few other people often do. (*the world’s tiniest violin plays*) 85. Miracles: Yes, sometimes in the form of coincidences, surprises, or the results of hard work. I believe in inverse miracles, too, when things go catastrophically wrong for no apparent reason. Or, as we call it at my house, Tuesday. 86. Love at first sight: Yes, in a way. Potential for love at first sight, I guess? I’ve usually found I know the moment I meet someone whether that’s a thing that’s going to happen or not. 87. Santa Claus: YES, DAMN IT. Okay, maybe not a literal dude in a red suit, but as a personification of the generous spirit of Non-Denominational-Winter-Solstice-and-Festival-of-Lights, he works. (I’m an eclectic neo-pagan/hedgewitch, but my most loved time of year is the whole October-February period, so I start celebrating Yule/Christmas around December 1st and don’t stop until Twelfth Night. I will take ALL of your symbolism, ALL your traditions, and – most importantly – ALL your festive foods and embrace them. In my belly. Thank you.)

88. Kiss on the first date: Probably. Unless it’s a baaaaad first date. 89. Angels: Again, not so much the literal sense, but it’d be nice to think there are positive presences looking out for us. I’d be very concerned about the serpent-like pillars of fire, though.  

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: Aside from my dog, that’s my partner but they don’t like their details shared, so SHHHH IT’S A SECRET. 91. Eye color: grey-blue-thing 92. Favorite movie: You can’t just ask a person that at the end of the thing like it’s a simple question…! So. Many. Movies. Depends on the genre. The Blues Brothers, Priscilla: Queen of the Desert, Gattaca, Silence of the Lambs, Re-Animator, Die Hard, Stand By Me, Sleepaway Camp, Alien, Lady in a Cage, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead, TRHPS, The Great Escape… those are movies I can watch a billion times (and have done). Honorable mentions, depending on my mood, go to things like Basket Case, Caramel, An American Werewolf in London, Exterminating Angel, Secretary, Gran Torino… I could have done 92 questions just on the most popularist movies I like!

tagging: I’ve been away for a few days and I don’t wanna tag people who’ve already done it, so if you’re reading this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged! <3

[jerome-blog1]

The Sounds of the Sixties

Bristol & West Country Bands – Music of the 60’s

In the heady days of the early 1960’s, a time of massive change and innovation in the world of popular music. Fuelled by the excitement and electricity surrounding the new sounds of the time.

Merseybeat stars head down south – With the Merseyside inspired "Beat Boom" in full swing, the big stars in Bristol this week in 1963 had to be from up north.

Topping the bill at the Colston Hall were Billy J Kramer and the Dakotas who had just had a couple of massive hits with Do You Want to Know a Secret (No.2) – a Beatles’ written ditty – and Bad to Me (No.1).

You certainly got your money’s worth in those days. Also on the twice-nightly bill was Tommy Roe, an American who had shot up the charts with Sheila and the Folk Singer, plus a string of lesser acts. Tickets ranged from four shillings and sixpence to 10 shillings and sixpence (average wages were then about £10 a week).

The end of the month would see Freddie and the Dreamers, the Searchers and Brian Poole and the Tremeloes (who were riding high in the charts with Do You Love Me) invading the city. The Tremeloes had previously reached No.4 with that "oldie, but goodie" Twist and Shout – a raucous number recorded by the Beatles on their first album.

Topping the bill was Roy Orbison, who had just made the top 10 with In Dreams and Falling. His Blue Bayou would reach the No.3 spot on September 19. Top tickets, in the balcony, would set you back 12 shillings and sixpence.

In 1963, the smallish, local venues were still torn between promoting beat music or jazz. Local bands Johnny Slade and the Vikings plus Dean Prince and the Dukes were on stage at Clifton’s Victoria Rooms, with the Chinese Jazz Club at the Corn Exchange booking the Alan Elsdon Jazz Band.

"Thomas Alstone", the man with his finger on the pulse, tells us that local instrumental band the Eagles (and stars of the Bristol-made film Some People) were about to try their hand at vocals as well.

The result, on the Pye label, was an updated version of the Helston floral dance called Come on Baby, to the Floral Dance. I don’t think it made the charts. If you really wanted to know what was going on in the city in 1963 then the newly published Bristol Beat was the thing to read. Billed as "Young Bristol’s entertainment paper", it cost six pence.

This magazine informed us that the best- selling single in the city was She Loves You by the Beatles. Runner-up was Billy J Kramer’s Bad to Me. Other top sellers were Wishing by Buddy Holly and I’m Telling You Now by Freddie and the Dreamers.

If classical guitar was you thing then Julian Bream was playing at Stourhead gardens on the Sunday evening. The two guinea tickets included soup, cheese, French bread and a glass of wine.

Back in the city – the Centre to be precise – comedian Jimmy Edwards was getting astride a horse to promote his autumn spectacular at the Hippodrome. If none of this was your cup of tea then how about a trip to the movies to see some really big stars – a trio in fact.

At the ABC you could join the queue to see Marlon Brando, Trevor Howard and Richard Harris in Mutiny on the Bounty. And in September 1963, Bristol Zoo had its very own stars on show to the public – the only pair of white tigers in the world (outside India).

Bristolians were huge fans of Billy J Kramer and the Dakotas.

Recommended Link

bristolrock.net/c.aspx

www.bristolarchiverecords.com/people/people_Tony_Dodd.html

Johnny Carr and the Cadillacs

The original Bristol Comets and special guest star Sandra McCann. Formed in 1958 and playing Hamburg’s Kaiser Keller Club alongside The Beatles, Johnny Carr and the Cadillacs are the authentic sound of the ’60s. It was said that The Cadillacs were performing Twist and Shout, You’ll Never Walk Alone and Shoutlong before they became hits for The Beatles, Gerry and the Pacemakers and Lulu.

Formed in 1958. Lineup: Vocalist; Lead guitar; Rythm Guitar; Bass guitar; Drums Dave Purslow. For many years considered by most to be the most popular ‘pop group’ in Bristol. Every teenager knew of them. A very polished group fronted by the stong vocals of Johny Carr (Con Sullivan), they had a solid style and had that certain charisma that got them noticed. This was what took them to Hamburg’s Kaiser Club and playing alongside The Beatles, Johnny Carr and the Cadillacs became the authentic Bristol sound of the 60s.

The Cadillacs were performing songs like Twist and Shout, Youll Never Walk Alone and Shout before they became hits for The Beatles, Gerry and the Pacemakers and Lulu. In the early 1960s the drummer was Dave Purslow, a very large gentleman. John rennie writes: Downend had a very popular R & R club which was every Wednesday I think. Knowle had serious Saturday evening dances at the community centre featuring top local groups. Speedwell TA hall had some big dances, one easter I remember starring Johnny kidd and the Pirates with Johnny Carr and the Cadillacs supporting. There was a memmorable local group R & R concert at the old Cabot cinema (before it closed down) in Filton along the same lines as the ones at the Colston hall. What about the rag week mersey versus avon beat shows at the Vic rooms in the early 60,s I hope this stirs some memories. Regards John Rennie.

See photo link below

www.flickr.com/photos/brizzlebornandbred/2050007986/

Chet And The Triumphs

This Bristol band once supported The Beatles at The Bath Pavilion in the early sixties. The drummer was Graham Nicholson, who lived in West Park Road, Downend. His practice sessions could often be heard when you passed by on the pavement outside. His father was an inspector on the buses, based at nearby Staple Hill Depot.

John Coldrick lived a few doors away, also in West Park Road. He often passed by when we children were playing in the street outside our house on the corner of West Park Road and North Street. He always had a cheery word for us and took it in good spirit when we called out cheeky things about teddy boys and suchlike. A thoroughly nice young man. Regards Fray Bentos

Email to the webmaster: Hi, just looked through your website,brilliant! i saw a picture of Johnny Coldrick, with his band The Triumphs. I knew john in the early 60s and would love to get in touch with him.can you help? Regards Paul Newman….would be good to hear from anyone with contact details.

Email to the webmaster: I have great memories of the Glen ballroom and the club next door called Cupids Bar. Also the bouncer at the door of the Glen being David Prouse (of Darth Vader fame)I often would have a quick dance with him which looked strange as I was barely five feet tall and he was probably at least six seven. I now live in Australia but have great memories of Bristol, which I return to on a regular basis. I was also married for nineteen years to a member of the rock band Chet & The Triumphs. Regards Pam and Gary O’keefe

See photo link below

www.flickr.com/photos/brizzlebornandbred/2975315707/

Fred Wedlock

Once described as a ‘West Country Billy Connolly, although he probably came first’, Bristolian singer and raconteur Fred Wedlock has been performing in folk clubs and concerts since the late 1960s. He was born in Bristol, England, on 23rd May 1942 and had various jobs, including being a teacher, before turning professional in the early 1970s. He is related to ‘Fatty Wedlock of Bristol City FC fame. Fred had various albums on small labels issued in the 1970s, and became widely known early in 1981 when his single The Oldest Swinger In Town hit the UK charts, rising to no. 6. Unfortunately he has never maintained that success, but the song is almost guaranteed to be played at family gatherings such as wedding receptions, as the middle-aged uncles and aunts take to the floor to gyrate after a few drinks.

Acker Bilk

The chances are that if you were asked to name a clarinet player, the first name that would spring to mind is Acker Bilk. Somerset-born Acker became world famous in May 1962 when he became the first British artist to top the US pop music charts, paving the way for other acts from the UK, such as a then still unknown band who were to have a fair amount of success on both sides of the pond a year or so after Acker’s trailblazing hit – The Beatles!

Acker’s US chart-topper Stranger On The Shore had topped the British chart some six months earlier, following its use as the theme tune of the eponymous BBC children’s TV series. The record, which would nowadays be described as easy listening, perhaps seems an unlikely double number one on both sides of the Atlantic, but in those pre-Beatle days the charts contained a fairly eclectic mixture of ballads, rock ‘n’ roll and Dixieland-style ‘trad’ (short for traditional) jazz.

See photo link below

www.flickr.com/photos/brizzlebornandbred/2080583036/in/se…

Pete Budd and the Rebels

Pete Budd and the Rebels Line up: Lead guitar/vocals, Rythym Guitar, Saxophone, Bass and Drums. Pete Budd, then apparently voted as the ‘best guitarist in the West’ (according to the local pop music magazine ‘The Western Scene’) succeeded Les Watts as the lead vocalist and guitarist. Ivor Newick played drums and there was also had a saxophinist.

‘Somerset Born And Proud’ Pete later replaced Reg Quantrill as the Wurzels’ guitar and banjo player. One of the trio who continued after Adge Cutler’s death, he was the only member of the 1970s Wurzels who actually comes from Somerset. His is the distinctive lead voice on all of their 1970s chart hits, including their number one smash Combine Harvester and the follow-up hits I Am A Cider Drinker, Farmer Bill’s Cowman, etc. Pete is still with the band today, and therefore the second longest serving current Wurzel after Tommy Banner. Pete started out in the band Pete Budd and the Rebels and also made a few records in the 1960s in a band called The Rainbow People. Pete was running a pub/restaurant in the West Country for a while. A keen fisherman, Pete emigrated to Devon a while back. His voice has been heard in recent years singing on the TV commercials for Ambrosia Creamed Rice.

Adge Cutler

The original and indisputably the greatest Wurzel of all time, and the brains behind the whole concept. Born 1930 in Nailsea, north Somerset. Held a series of jobs before becoming a Wurzel, including working as road manager for famous clarinet player Acker Bilk (who is also from Zummerzet) and his Paramount Jazz Band, working in a cider mill (Coates of Nailsea), and working on building a power station in North Wales. Spent a year in Spain working as an agent looking for property. During his time there he grew to love the country and the Spanish way of life, as well as becoming fluent in Spanish. Formed the Wurzels in 1966 and continued to gig and record with the band until his career was sadly cut short by his untimely death in 1974, when he overturned his MGB sports car at a roundabout while driving himself home from a gig. Buried in Christchurch, Nailsea.

The Comets

One of Bristol’s own first-generation rock ‘n’ roll bands the Comets they had supported such acts as Gene Vincent and Billy Fury. The Comets were almost certainly the first Bristol based band to make the enormous leap from Skiffle to amplified music, and thus paving the way for countless other local bands in the late fifties – early sixties.

A talent contest at the Glen Ballroom in 1958 in which the Sapphires, a vocal group, and the Comets were competing. Their sound blew everyone away that night. They not only sounded great, they looked great as well, dressed like quintessential rockers of that era.

In 1960 a unique show took place at The major concert venue in the city of Bristol, England….The Colston Hall. 2000 fans packed the place on December 16th to witness the best of the cities young Rock,n,roll bands & singers, even though not one of them had a recording contract, and some of the musicians were still in school ! Such was the popularity of local bands, when there was no such thing as a disco. let alone MTV, and when there was very little "pop music" on the then austere stiif upper lip Radio.

Andy Perrott (acoustic guitar and vocals) started out as half of the ‘Antones’ with Tony Sweet and has featured in several local rock’n’roll bands including the ‘Echoes’ and the legendary ‘Bristol Comets’. Andy left the music business for a twenty year sabbatical but returned in 1984 as front man with the reformed ‘Comets’.

Tony Dodd (electric guitar and vocals) started his career in music at about the same time, as guitarist for ‘Mike Tobin and the Magnets’. Unlike Andy, Tony has been playing continually since those heady days with the Magnets, including a band in the USA where he lived for three years. Locally Tony held down a residency at the renowned ‘Dug Out’ club and his bands include ‘Hugget’ and ‘Dodds Army’, and he is now a member of the Bristol Comets’.

See photo link below

www.flickr.com/photos/brizzlebornandbred/2050007986/

The Eagles

The Eagles were formed by Terry Clarke www.terryclarke.com/ (lead guitar), Johnny Payne (rhythm guitar), Michael Brice (bass), and Rod Meacham (drums), all students at Connaught Road School in Bristol. Their name came from the youth organization, the Eagle House Youth Club, to which they all belonged. The quartet played local dances, parties, and bingo halls, performing during the intervals between the sessions at the latter, often for whatever was in the hat that was passed around.

The Eagles were a Bristol music quartet active from 1958 through the mid 1960s.

Led by guitarist Terry Clarke, who used a homebuilt custom instrument, the group included drummer Rod Meacham, bassist Michael Brice, and Johnny Payne on rhythm guitar. Playing primarily instrumental rock, they began their career in Bristol playing local venues such as dance halls.

They were launched into the world of professional music in 1962 upon being noticed by composer Ron Grainer, probably best remembered for his theme to Doctor Who. Grainer was interested in The Eagles for a film project he was working on, Some People, about a fictional Bristol band not unlike themselves. The Eagles contributed to the Some People soundtrack, and became Grainer’s protegees, recording new versions of some of his film score work like the theme of the Maigret television series. The Some People soundtrack reached No.2 on the EP charts, and remained on the charts for a stay of 21 weeks.

The Eagles were awarded the Duke of Edinburgh Trophy for their work on the film, and soon after were signed to Pye Records, at the time among the top three labels in Britain. After releasing the singles ‘Bristol Express’ and ‘Exodus’, The Eagles embarked on a major tour of England along with more established acts Del Shannon, Stevie Wonder, Johnny Tillotson, and Dionne Warwick.

The tour world lasted much of 1963, during which their debut album, Smash Hits From The Eagles was released in the UK and the United States. The following year brought their most successful single and the one for which they are best remembered today, a vocal rendition of ‘Wishin’ And Hopin” backed with ‘Write Me A Letter’. Unfortunately, 1964 also brought a pair of tragedies which ultimately led to the end of the group: Grainer went blind, and Meachum suffered a nervous breakdown. Soon after, in late 1964, the band went their separate ways.

After The Eagles Clarke continued in the music business, with the band Pickettywitch and later as a session musician and solo artist, working with such artists as Michael Messer, Willie Nelson, Joe Ely, The Band, and Johnny Cash. He released nine solo albums between 1990 and 2006, on Transatlantic Records and various labels. Payne returned to Bristol and continued to play with local bands.

The Eagles’ music is available on many compilations of the era, and in 1998 Sanctuary Records released a massive 61-track two-disc compilation set Smash Hits from The Eagles and The Kestrels, by far the most accessible overview of the Eagles’ music today.

See photo link below

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Teach the world to sing – Rogers Cook and Greenaway

Britain’s best ever song-writers hail from Bristol, well Fishponds/Kingswood namely Rogers Cook and Greenaway. They used to be David and Jonathan in the sixties, wrote ‘If you like alot of chocolate on your biscuit join our club’ and Cookie formed Blue Mink. Later he went to Nashville where he become the only Briton ever to be inducted into the Country Hall of Fame.

Bristol’s Rolling Stones

Mick and Keith, Brian and Bill and, of course, Charlie were already world-famous as the Rolling Stones, pop music’s favourite rebels, by the autumn of 1965. They’d just celebrated their biggest hit of all, ‘(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction’ when word came through that a Bristol band were claiming that they, not Jagger, Richards, Jones, Wyman and Watts, were the original Rolling Stones.

And it was all too true. Bristol’s Rolling Stones were the three Stone brothers who’d formed their own skiffle band at the height of the Lonnie Donegan era and played gigs like the Bristol Press Ball in 1957. Skiffle came from American blues music which often featured light travelling heroes described as rolling stones, so it was a good title.

The washboard group had changed their name to the Stone Brothers to avoid confusion when Mick, Keith and co. sprang to fame after taking their name from bluesman Muddy Waters’ classic ‘Rolling Stone’, but the matter still rankled. ‘We have no desire for the Jagger Stones to change their name. We only want to establish that the Bristol Stones are entitled to the name and were the first Rolling Stones,’ the group announced.

Top rock promoter/agent Tito Bums, then representing Mick, Keith and the rest chortled, ‘This would make a wonderful film.’ The Bristol Stones even consulted lawyers, but the matter ended quietly and amicably. . . and almost no one remembers the original Rolling Stones.

In the 1950s, Bill, his brother Ken and an unrelated Stone (Brian) formed a skiffle group. Their father was Moss Stone; not surprisingly, they called themselves The Rolling Stones. On the demise of the skiffle boom, they broadened their repertoire to include country and western . In 1965, there was a legal battle with the other ‘Stones’ which resulted in them being unable to continue with their name. A publicity leaflet for the Bristol Stones band at the time said ‘Bill Stone plays a very fine banjo and can perform equally well Liszt’s Liebestraum or Bye Bye Blues. Bill is a devotee of the great Eddie Peabody’ (an American plectrum style player)

The Pigsty Hill Light Orchestra

The bands who put our city on the map THE Pigsty Hill Light Orchestra, so the story goes, first got together after Fred Wedlock’s 1968 New Year party at Clifton’s much lauded Troubadour Folk Club in Waterloo Street. The "Piggies" as they were affectionately known, derived their unusual name from a specific location up the Gloucester Road – the section that goes uphill from the old Bristol North swimming baths to the turning just before Horfield prison.

Composed of musicians from other local groups the band weren’t in fact an orchestra at all but comparable to Viv Stanshall’s Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band or the zany Temperance Seven. John Turner (yes, the radio presenter and newspaper columnist) came from the Downsiders, Barry Back and Andy Leggett from the Alligator Jug Thumpers and Dave Creech from the Elastic Band.

Their music, which has been described as 1920s jazz and blues, actually sounded more jug band. Unbelievable sounds emanated from a collection of hot water bottles, plumbing pipes and the like. With a good dose of comedy thrown in, it all seemed to go down well. A music paper even labelled the "Piggies" the band "most likely to succeed". Things were looking up. With the Plastic Dog agency handling their gigs, a well received album, PHLOP, was released in 1970 on the Village Thing label. This was the year that John Turner left to be replaced by bass player Wild Bill Cole.

The band’s next album, Piggery Jokers, was recorded in Cornwall in 1973, had its distinctive cover put together by artist Rodney Matthews in a unique, self designed font. Now it was Barry Back’s time to call it a day being replaced by Jon "Wash" Hays on washboard. Then Andy Leggett left, too. But the "Piggies" weren’t ready to call it a day just yet. Dave Paskett, Richie Gould, Pat Small and Henry Davies, plus guitarists Chris Newman and Robert Greenfield came on board (plus, on occasion, a fine guitarist called Diz Disley who had tasted fame with folkie guitarist and singer Martin Carthy and legendary fiddler Dave Swarbrick).

All these musicians featured on the next album, imaginatively called The Pigsty Hill Light Orchestra, 1976. The music press were very kind. A Melody Maker hack wrote: "The Pigsty Hill Light Orchestra must be one of the most popular acts on the folk scene. Their spontaneous humour and good time songs have held many an audience anchored to the floor in wonder."

Three years later, despite a loyal following and much touring, the "Piggies" decided to throw in the towel. But still it wasn’t the end. In 1988, the band reformed, by request, to play at Trowbridge’s popular Village Pump Festival.

The gang were so well received and had so much fun that they decided to stay together, add Pat Small and singer Hannah Wedlock (Fred’s daughter) to the line-up and go on tour again. Out of it came yet another album, Back On The Road Again. This was in 1991, the year Jim Reynolds and Dave Griffiths joined the band. The following year, Musical History, a compilation album consisting of a selection of tracks taken from 1968 to 1992, was released.

Barry Back, who had been the driving force behind the "Piggies" reunion, sadly died in 1992 and, shortly after, the band decided to pack up for good. Al Read, in his excellent book about the Granary Club, says that the band’s first single on the Village Thing label, Shake That Thing/ Cut Across Shorty, can be bought for 47p.

The Retreads

One of the better bands was the Retreads, and were constantly booked to play most of the big venues, and played together with some of the bigger names of the time, Hollies, Searchers, Gene Vincent etc etc.

Jim Durcan, rhythm guitar, Derek Martin lead guitar and Ron Chappell on bass guitar, John Watson on drums. The band was soon signed up for Germany and spent a couple of years working the clubs there and under the management of the Star Palast owner Manfred Woitala, but returning every so often to play the Bristol scene.

While in Germany Jim had an accident and left the band, returning to his hometown Dursley in Glos, in the lineup at that time was a brilliant German pianist Jerry B, (Barthold Dunker) who made a great hit with the fans when the band once more returned to Bristol and on a longer tour covering the whole of the south of England.

After years in Germany and a few gigs in Sweden the Retreads returned to Bristol where eventually the band broke up. ( late 1966 ) Ron and Derek stayed in England and John Watson decided to go back to Sweden.

The Corvettes by Dark Haloun

I joined the corvettes as lead guitarist after Dave Fahy and Ray Truscott left for richer rewards. Steve Thynne had taken over as singer and rhythm guitarist. Geoff Fothergill played bass and Dave " Bocker" Box was on drums. We played most of the halls round Bristol and the villages within a fifty mile radius. Didn’t do much for my uni studies but it was fun.

Strictly a covers band, but weren’t they all back then. Alan B Williams drove the van and acted as roadie. He was chronically late, and we always told him that we were starting an hour before we really were. Geoff tried to teach me to drive in his Morris Minor, though without much success. When Steve moved on we got Alan Dale in as singer and Mike Morley( I think, memory is not what it used to be) on rhythm guitar. We discovered that Alan could sing a strong falsetto and started to do three part harmonies: Beach boys, Four seasons. It was a point of difference given that there were so many bands doing the same stuff. I was transferred to London and left the band in the mid-sixties.

Kinda lost touch with the guys after that. In 1973 I moved to Perth in Western Australia with my Aussie wife. Played in several bands over the years. For the last four years I’ve played lead in a sequenced trio, still doing the old fifties and sixties stuff. At 75 years of age it gives me an interest and keeps me off the sreets. Sorry I have nether photos nor memorabilia of the band but the memories remain undiminished. Dark Haloun

Anyone out there name any more ?

Email bristolhistory@googlemail.com

Can you Help ?

Does anyone remember the Glen Ballroom, Locarno, Dug Out, The Granary Club, Town’s Talk, Corn Exchange or any 1960s clubs or dance halls in Bristol?

The Glen

I’ve tried to find info & Pictures of it but no luck so far. We used to go ballroom dancing there back in the 60’s. There was a club attached to it but you had to be 18 to get in, they played rock ‘n’Roll their as apposed to the ‘Proper’ dancing in the ballroom.

Does anyone know if any of the Discs a gogo programmes were kept by the old TWW company.I would love to see us doing the Bristol Stomp again!

Anyone have any memories of the Mods & Rockers era and the coffee bars or the local West Coast Hells Angels in Bristol back to a time when British built motorcycles ruled the road ?

As a 51-year old Brisolian stuck in a 1960s timewarp, how many people recall the Monday night sessions between 1966 and 1968 at the then New Bristol Centre in the Locarno ballroom? (sadly now demolished) As I recall, this was THE place in Bristol at the time for 14-18-year-olds, with the entrance fee being 3s 6d for a session from 7pm to 10.30pm.

Records were provided via DJ (anyone recall names?) and there were two bars, The Bali Hai, where if you could stand tiptoe and lower your voice, you might get served with a half of cider by a waitress in a mock grass skirt!

Music was generally Top 30 stuff with a sprinkling of rarer Stax, Atlantic and Motown items which kept the Mods happy, and I am sure many a long-term relationship was started on the dance-floor.

Luckily, prior to demolition I was allowed in, and now am the proud owner of the Bali Hai mock Totem Poles which adorned the entrance to the bar, and also the sign from the Gents Stag Room – my partner thinks I’m crazy!

Chris Powell, Bradley Stoke

Danny Clarke and the Jaguars, Dean Prince and the Dukes, Jonny Slade and the Vikings, Mel Taylor and the Trek a beats, Dee Stars Predictions, A J and the others. The Road Runners.

The Quad. Mark Roman and the Javelins , Franklin big six, The Exiles, Mike Starr and the Citizens. The Blue Sound. The Lincolns, The Travellers The Concords The Ramrods. Dale Martin and the Mysteries. The Retreads The Strange Fruits The Burlington Berties. Venues the Vic rooms Carwadines Cool for cats (Yate) Bath pavilion the Corn Exchange the all nighter and all the church halls.

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Mods and Rockers

Email from Chris Powell to me: I was a 17 year old Mod living in St George/ Hanham at the time (1968/9). Most of us rode Lambrettas or Vespas, and The Rockers (or Greasers as we called them) rode old Vincents or Triumphs.

Generally there wasn’t any problems although it did kick off big time in the Summer of 1969 around the Centre- there were running battles for 2 or 3 nights and anyone on either a scooter or motorbike was considered "fair game"

A meeting was arranged on College Green between the Pascoe brothers (Willie and Angellino?) who were the "Ace Faces" in the Bristol Mod movement, and the leaders of the Rockers (names N/K)- there was the customary handshake and peace reigned thereafter. In all honesty, most of the "trouble" was built up by the media, as mainly Mods and Rockers were good friends. Indeed, I still have Lambrettas to this day and occaisionally meet Rockers of that era whilst out and about and chinwag over the good old days!

Main "Mod" places were- The Locarno; The Top Rank; The Never on a Sunday Cafe in Fairfax Street: Aunt Gemimas; Coke and Clobber; Beau Brummels on The Centre; The Weigh Inn (spelling) on College Green.

The Rockers used to hang out at The Starsreach Cafe in Staple Hill.

Posted by brizzle born and bred on 2007-12-08 14:55:08

Tagged: , 1958 , 1962 , 1966 , 1984 , 1963 , pacemakers , wurzels , ambrosia , adge cutler , cook greenaway , al read , nailsea , pye records , banner , dodd , pete budd , wedlock , spanish , beatles , corn exchange , bath pavilion , pigsty hill , eagles , sweet , towns talk , tww , johnny carr , johnny tillotson , kaiser keller club , blue mink , granary club , rock band , sandra mccann , sixties , spain , stevie wonder , del shannon , andy perrott , bristol comets , lulu , dionne warwick , mike tobin , chet triumphs , cadillacs , Merseybeat , Beat Boom , Billy J Kramer and the Dakotas , Johnny Slade and the Vikings , Dean Prince and the Dukes , Chinese Jazz Club , Bristol Corn Exchange , Devon , Somerset , Bristol-Music-&-Arts , Acker-Bilk , The Corvettes by Dark Haloun

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